#ouchouchouch

[spine4sale]

Fell on my ass, this is how it felt ✨️

[azirafallennn]

need someone who can amputate my hands romantically

[cartoonradfem]

if you try to use a regular ol vacuum with the hose attachment to try to clear... um...postnasal gunk you WILL vacuum up ur uvula accidentally and you WILL INJURE IT.

I'm just so desperate jfhkdlhfjjx

[cupid-moon]

I CANT DO THIS

[irritablepoe]

i will never recover.

Oh no... I'm in for a heartbreak ain't I?

[bbutterflies]

every time I get a tattoo I say to myself “why the fuck would I ever put myself through this again” and then I get to look at the finished tattoo and I say yay! again! clapping my hands like a toddler

[drbtinglecannon]

I was so caught up in blorbo thoughts that I forgot Darius is such a minor character that his last name had to be confirmed off screen at fan request.

He's a main character in my heart 😭💖

[poughkeepsies]

if anyone knows when you can stop being sad about people who aren't in your life anymore let me know

[devourensarc]

"how do you kiss your beloved?" "like you are trying to punish them for daring to love you, all teeth and bruises and fingers tangled in hair" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[chappellrroan]

i gave so many signsssss :((( [music fades out gently]

crying it gets me feeling things

[themuseoftheviolets]

burned myself on the grill :(

[multirptrash]

For a full minute, she just stared at the back of him in complete silence, stunned at everything he had said to her. Wrong person? Right part of him gets blown out? She was hurt and wanted to yell at him and kick him out of her apartment and make him stay and never leave and apologize and she didn’t know what to do to make everything okay again.

Always known that. That said things about their relationship that she dared not think about if she wanted to keep her heart from completely splitting down the middle.

Speaking around the painful lump in her throat, Nyota managed, tears now streaking down her face, “Well, I’m sorry that I happen to love you, and that part of that involves wanting you to be safe and near me,” she snapped.

Once he was dressed, she made absolutely no moves towards him, even if her whole chest ached to just hold him and never let go.

In a Sea of Stars

multirptrash​:

Something awful and unfortunately familiar began to tickle its way up her throat…the Jim looking at her now was the same one she had seen before they broke up the last time. “Then don’t go. There has to be something in the middle, right? I can’t…I don’t want watch you leave me for years and be in danger, but Jim, I love you…I do.”

Suddenly angry, angry at Starfleet and angry at him for this mask he was wearing, angry at herself for not just letting him go, Nyota’s face twisted into a glare. “I can’t. I won’t. And I won’t stand here as you give me some poetics about I deserve more. I want you, Jim, and I don’t want to have to compete with your lust for space and exploration!” It was unfair, maybe cruel, but she could feel what was coming…could see it juts over his shoulder and desperately thrashing and lashing out was the only way she could see right now to get it to stop.

That snapped him out of the strangeness, anyway, and his awful complacent mask fell away. But it didn’t reveal a sweet, repentant Jim underneath. Instead, his eyes were suddenly hard in the dim light. “Then you’re with the wrong person. But we’ve always known that, haven’t we? At least the Enterprise kept us honest about it. This is who I am, Nyota. Maybe it will get me killed someday. I don’t know. But you came into this relationship with your eyes open. You knew that this was who I was always going to be. Now and yes, when I’m fifty and sixty, too. Unless the wrong part of me gets ‘blown out’ next time.”

He swung his legs over the side of the bed and started feeling around on the floor for his clothes. This was their first real argument. That didn’t necessarily mean the end of the relationship. It did, however, mean he wanted to go back to his own apartment, where he hadn’t slept alone in more nights than he could count. Until tonight.

[make-friends-with-the-rats]

I can't remember why this was sitting in my drafts but ouchouchouch my heart-

[ninyard]

Sorry, me again! On Aaron's trial - another thing that often makes me chuckle a lot when it comes to fics is that the trial takes place that summer. That's putting just... Waaaay too much faith in the judicial system to get things done quickly😂 Trials take YEARS - currently in South Africa (where I live) trial dates are full until 2029. It would take probably until their senior year to get a trial, 2 years if it's expedited. Also, a piece that's left out but would be GREAT for drama is that depositions take place beforehand - all testimony is first said in front of just the prosecutors, defense attorneys and defendant. That's some good drama w/ Aaron and Neil right there! He would be the FIRST to find out that Neil knew exactly who Drake was, and would find out alone!

YEAH

but my friend i didn’t even think about the depositions. and andrew’s deposition :) so aaron would have found out before the trial then :)

ouchouchouch there’s a LOT of potential there

[sphireath-wisp]

Hi! Idk if this is weird to ask but can you do the monster trio + Usopp, law and shanks with a Mexican!Reader that starts to yell at them in Spanish? I think yk what i mean but other wise it’s fine <3 ty!

Sypnosis -> The ask above! I will be removing Shanks though because I have a limit of 5 people per request!!

Author's notes -> AAA MY FIRST ASK??? AND WHEN I WAS BUSY??? I'M SO HAPPY!! First off, I would like to apologize for getting to this ask super late since I was really busy for the past week and had no time to write. Thank you for your patience!! (You didn't say this was x reader, so I won't write it as such)

Warnings -> Probably inaccurate Google translations, not proofread, following EddieVR's way of speaking (I'm trying to follow an actual Spanish speaker's way and tone so that I can be as accurate as possible), vulgar language because the reader is yelling (so I assume they're upset/angry), Reader could be perceived as rude

Featuring -> Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, Ussop, Law

Luffy

You can't believe the disaster of a crew you've joined so spontaneously. With a captain that gives that poor cook a workout to feed him 3 meals a day (maybe even more than that), you feel grateful that he's the one cooking because of the delicacy and care he puts into his meals.

Though, not even the best cooks can perform magic. Without ingredients, a chef is left with nothing but utensils to serve. It gave you a shock when you realized how fast Sanji had already ran out of ingredients.

"¡Nunca duraremos en el mar contigo, idiota sin cerebro! La comida está prácticamente terminada. (We'll never last at sea with you, you brainless idiot! The food is practically finished.)" You sigh.

Luffy is... dumbfounded. He just stares at you, scratches the top of his head, then tilts his head with an innocent gleam in his eyes - oblivious to what you're sputtering. If anything, he finds it sort of amusing to see you this upset.

He's heard from the crew about the depth of your culture and home country before - boy, he misses the mouthwatering food there just thinking about it.

You shake your head, aware that your chidings aren't getting through to him. Plus, you got so upset you started scolding him in a whole different language. "Sanji! Would you limit Luffy's meals-"

And suddenly Luffy listening to you (despite the incessant complaining in between).

Zoro

"Ouchouchouch, what the hell?" Zoro grits his teeth at you after you pinched his ear, dragging him behind the crates and preventing him from attacking the marines in front of you.

"Don't just go up there! What are you thinking?" You suddenly spot flashlights illuminating the dark corner the both of you were jammed into and immediately rush over to another hiding place. Letting go of Zoro's ear, you could only pray that he had enough sense in him to follow you instead of trusting any predatory instinct he had in him.

Nami trusted you with this mission! You had to sneak in quietly and-

"It's Roronoa Zoro! Call for backup!"

Great! Another problem. Snaking your hands around him, you grab onto his shirt, smiling gently for just a moment. There weren't many options and it was only the two of you in a base full of marines - it would be waste of time to defeat them all and the injuries afterward would be nothing but troublesome.

"You know what this means, ¡corre por tu maldita vida! (run for your damn life!)" Not looking back for a single moment, you bang into almost everything blocking your way with Zoro being dragged along behind you. Luckily for you, he works as a great meatshield - fending off all the enemies that get too close for comfort!

Zoro had no idea what language you were speaking, but he could tell just how furious you were just by how much you continued to ramble while sprinting into enemy territory. Just by how you sound, he could tell that you probably weren't saying the nicest things about him...

(He'll learn from you so that he can use them against Sanji)

Sanji

Just like how he hears the tears of heartbroken women falling to the ground, he can listen to the exhausted sighs of the women on board. Every time Nami and Robin are having a hard time, Sanji makes it his first priority to help them.

Of course, his enthusiasm to assist these "poor, helpless" women are appreciated - but his tendency to go all out and beyond makes his efforts... overbearing.

"Special drinks for the two lovely Mademoiselles," Sanji's voice deepens, coaxing his words with a dash of honey in hopes of wooing Robin and Nami. The gentle clack of a cup being placed next to your hand suddenly alerts you, "And one for (Name),"

You thank him along with Nami and Robin, sipping the sweet cider-like concoction in your glass as your eyes drift back to the book in your hand.

"Is there anything else I could help you with?" You couldn't see what Sanji was doing, but you could already picture that infatuated grin on his face.

Despite the three of you already insisting that there's no need, Sanji still lingers around you. Like a moth to a fiery flame, Sanji buzzes around the two women - leaving them with no moment of peace.

"¿Puedes callarte y aprender a cerrar la boca? (Can you shut up and learn how to zip your mouth?)" You yell, slamming the book shut. You continue to scream - even Chopper and the others begin to hold you back from reaching Sanji.

"Do you get the feeling that they're mad at Sanji?" Luffy sits on a railing and ponders. "No shit, Sherlock." Zoro retorts.

Ussop

At first, when you didn't know Ussop well enough, you were unaware of his tendency to lie his way out of sticky situations. From his title as "God Ussop" alone, you would assume he's quite powerful, no?

You once overheard his boasting to those oblivious to his actual abilities. You don't think of Ussop as weak, far from it. His talent as a sniper is unlike no other and deserved to be praised. However, exaggerations would only bring in more and more trouble. Not to mention the misconceptions!

You weren't really sure whether his exceptional ability to lie was a blessing or a curse.

"I've carried a 100-ton hammer before as well!" Ussop folds his arms, holding his head up high in pride. The wows and impressed gazes from the kids only made him exaggerate more.

You sigh, leaning against the wall and wondering why pirates like you and Ussop are suddenly babysitting kids now. You ran into daycare to avoid getting spotted by marines, but the children there ended up assuming that the both of you are new caretakers,

You did nudge him a few times, reminding him about how the crew is probably waiting for the both of you the get back on the Sunny. Though, your words probably fell on deaf ears.

"Ussop! Ussop! If you and (Name) were to fight, who would win?" The question piqued your curiosity and the ends of your lips curve upwards, "Well, that would be-"

"Me, of course!" Ussop interrupts your sentence before it was finished. The kids gasp in awe as you snap your head to Ussop, glaring at him.

"(Name) must not be that good of a fighter..." You hear a soft murmur through the whispers in the crowd.

"Oye, imbécil, ¿de quién crees que estás hablando? (Hey dumbass, who do you think you're talking about?)" Grabbing a hold of the collar of Ussop's shirt, you drag him out without any explanation as he tries to talk you out of this.

"Do you think they're going to eat?" One kid asks, "Yeah, maybe they got hungry." Another replies.

Law

"You're not going to try the capirotada (Mexican bread pudding)? The rest of the crew seems to have taken a liking to it." You hum to yourself before being interrupted by a loud sigh.

"You know I don't like bread, (Name)-ya," You didn't bother to turn around and see the frown on his face, but it's fine - you were completely okay with his opinion.

"You're really not open to trying new things, huh?" You sarcastically jest, "The crew might ask me to make this again, you know. The smell of bread is going to haunt you in your sleep."

"(Name)! Seconds please!" Bepo barges in with a giant plate in his hand, "The others want more too!" Bepo rushes to your side, placing the plate on the counter for you. "Captain, you're really not going to try this... what is called again?"

"Capirotada, learn how to pronounce and drill it into your brain, then I'll make this for the crew again." Your back was still turned to the both of them, but you could still hear the soft groans from your captain.

"Capirotada! It's really good," Bepo insisted - which did bring a smile to your face. He grabbed a plate of the bread pudding, shoving it right into Law's face as Law pinched his nose.

Law took a step back, but eventually sighed and picked up a fork. "No more bread for another month after this, alright?" Law poked his fork into the pudding, sliding it around the plate as if he was reluctant to even pick it up.

Finally, he ate it.

"So? Isn't it great?" Bepo asked. Law slowly chewed the pudding, his features contorting into surprise, a bit of satisfaction, then disgust. "Yeah, I'll take that as a no." You chuckled at his expression.

"(Name), I don't think it's the bread... I think it's your cooking." Law covered his mouth, implying that he was going to vomit, hiding his laughter.

"diez, nueve, ocho... (ten, nine, eight...)" You slowly turned around. Unluckily for Law, you had happened to just buy a new set of knives recently known for their effective and quick chopping! "W-we should really go now, captain! It was really super duper nice seeing you, (Name)!"

"tres, dos, uno. Captain, ¡Espero que hayas dicho tus oraciones! (three, two, one. Captain, I hope you said your prayers!)"

[lunanoc]

are you surprised that I'm asking you to do Wu Xie for the blorbo bingo ?

(alternative offers if you want to do them: Li Cu, since you're finishing sha hai and/or Huo Xiuxiu)

i’m very late in replying to this sorryyy

absolutely not surprised but i appreciate the window of opportunity to let me *unintelligible noises* about wu xie <3

(for disclaimer purposes as always these are all just my personal opinions and aren’t pretending to be objective facts)

i’m totally normal about wu xie my beloved (who absolutely has pretty boy privilege that he definitely uses to his advantage whether he fully realizes he does or not, also this man is vain af in the most human way possible), he’s the ultimate blorbo and i’d be writing essays about him if i actually fully got into why i love him. wu xie is incredibly complex and goes through one of the most realistic and in-depth developments i’ve seen in a fictional character honestly. it says something that usually first person narration isn’t really my thing, but wu xie’s pov is so enjoyable and compelling you can’t put the books down. because of that unique perspective, we get wu xie in all that he is as he changes (though not quite as much as he himself thinks he does) throughout his experiences, the good and the ugly both, and while he’s deeply flawed, it’s because he’s deeply flawed and contradictory and so painfully human as a result that he’s as interesting and endearing as he is, i love him a very normal amount :))

the one maybe controversial opinion i have is that while not most because that would be exaggerating, i still find a number of popular fandom takes on wu xie, on the western side of the fandom specifically, are off just enough they bother me. it’s hard to narrow it down to a single reason because it’s a mix of different things that aren’t always objective (as in some things are just my preference vs someone else’s), but i would say one of the bigger ones is the sometimes gross misunderstanding of cultural backdrop and framework that have made him into who he is. you can easily extend this to pretty much all the characters, it’s just more noticeable in the portrayals of the main ones, but dmbj is a story deeply informed by its cultural framework, both in terms of narrative and in terms of the characters, how they act, their thought processes, and how all this impacts their interactions with others. so it’s not hard to understand that disregarding that would skew the characters on a fundamental level, which is something i find happens to wu xie more than it should. but that’s just me

next! li cu

i don’t have anything crazy to say about li cu really outside the fact i find him a little more compelling in the book than in the drama, mostly because you get his thought process a little more in-depth in the book, and he’s interesting as a contrast to how wu xie works. he’s clearly way in over his head and trying his best to cope with increasing trauma that just keeps heaping itself on top of itself without letting him really process it so yes he needs to stop being in situations (even if arguably being in situations is what ultimately saves his life). he’s also a teenage boy which just makes me want to fix him. just a little bit. i swear he can be better it’s not his fault teenage boys are a little dumb in the head! he does show up more in later canon post-ten years later, so it’s not like he completely disappears, but him and the desert triangle squad aren’t uninteresting characters so it’s interesting enough to keep up with them even if his strained relationship with wu xie hurts me for both of them (li cu using wu xie as a convenient party to pin the blame on for all his misfortunes vs wu xie perceiving li cu as the consequences of his necessary evils made flesh ouchouchouch)

aaaand huo xiuxiu

huo xiuxiu my beloved, best girl hands down, none can compare <3

when i say the writers dropped the ball on her, i mostly mean the dramas, although tbh more specifically lost tomb 2 and 2.5 that. yeah that’s not xiuxiu that’s all i’ll say. i find the closest to book version of her is in ultimate note, that still for introducing characters earlier than they should have been reasons couldn’t give her some of her coolest scenes. she’s intelligent, she’s skilled and cunning and pretty, yet in the beginning she also has that gap of practical inexperience that make her human. she’s the whole deal really. interestingly enough when they meet in the books, wu xie often finds he and xiuxiu are similar in terms of the way they think and react, which i find is interesting and pretty accurate. she’s also not in the story enough, so i’m happy that in current canon she’s been upgraded to one of the main squad and is down in dangerous tombs with the iron triangle and heihua. she’s also as unhinged as they all are i love her <3