#otp: heartlines;

[atypicalacademic]

I Can't Go Back To Sleep

(A/N: For Haider's birthday, the first vignette for the "Heartlines" collection, which follows his apprentice-timeline, more or less linear retellings of my favorite moments from Asra's route. The boy woke up and chose angst for his birthday, so this is a little rewrite of the dream sequence from the Prologue. )

Title from and best paired with

Words: 2k

Warnings: None

Relationship(s): Asra Alnazar x Haider Wazim (and featuring Sterling Everstone from @greyvvardenfell )

*

It was summer. Asra was home for the night.

*

It was dark, though Haider knew these paths, knew the hand in his that pulled him from the cold wind to the warmth and the light- or was it he who did that? He knew the fabric of the magenta scarf that billowed against his face, knew the sound of the breath that caught against his chest, the heartbeat- one-to-one, racing, then slowing, familiar like the lines on his own palm like he had always been meant to hold it.

Why had he ventured so far in the first place? This much he knew. He had to take Asra home.

He was hanging up the laundry to dry, wringing out the wet clothes beneath the sun. The light fell into his eyes, and he squinted, Asra’s form a blur at the doorway before he came into focus. His satchel was full to bursting, and he swept his curly, snow-white hair away from his eyes. “Haidi?” He crossed the distance between them, plopping down, cross-legged between potted tomato plants. “Look what the woods have for you today!”

He opened the satchel to spill its bounty to his lap- ripe berries of every color, clumps of seasoning and healing herbs and mushrooms still damp with earth. Haider could feel the energy of the deep woods when he touched them, strong and washed by the summer’s first rain. He smiled. He could make mushroom curry later. The tomatoes were ripe for the picking. It was summer. Asra was home for the night.

Haider gently wiped the dark soil of the woods from Asra’s henna-stained fingernails. The pads of his fingers were rough from some old injury, tiny, healed-over lacerations like he’d once buried something with his bare hands.

“I’ll think of you on the road.” The golden berry he slipped into Haider’s mouth was bittersweet.

The road.

He would be gone in the morning.

Haider was a creature of habit, but habit did not erase the sting of waking up at dawn with Asra not beside him. Neither did it erase the anguished joy of when he would wake up beside him, holding back the need to press a kiss to his cheek, his forehead, his lips-

He looked away, blushing.

The truth, he knew, was written all over his face, and he was losing the will to hide it.

“You won’t have to think of me if you take me along.” Haider got to his feet.

He expected the usual dallying, the tangential equivocations, but Asra was beside him in an instant, his hand a pleading touch against Haider’s cheek. “I’d love to have you along-“ his voice tilted, trembled. Haider raised an eyebrow. “But?”

“But I-“ Asra drew a stuttered breath. “I can’t risk it. It’s too far away, too- too dangerous.”

Everywhere he went was too far, it seemed, too far, too fast, too fearsome.

“One slip could separate us both and I can’t-“ Asra’s eyes watered, and Haider laced his fingers through his. Their mehendi flowed into each other- flowers from the same vine. He squeezed Haider’s hand in apology. “I’ll get you- whatever you want, okay, habibi? Anything.”

But he didn’t want trinkets or souvenirs. He didn’t want promises or apologies. He wanted to know why Asra looked so tired, so torn, so sad. He wanted to wrap his arms around him and hold him to his chest. He wanted to take everything lost and lonely in him and bring him home.

“But I’d rather have you here.” He whispered, his voice lost in anxiety. He didn’t want it to be a demand. “What do you want, Asra?” He was gentle, prying open the knot in his chest with careful hands. “Do you want to stay?”

Haider felt the answer before he could hear Asra say it, yes- in the shiver that ran through him, yes- in the way his palms slid down to settle against the small of his back, yes, as frantic hands bunched the fabric of Haider’s kurta, terrified of letting go- Yes, yes, yes, yes-.”

Asra’s eyes were overbright, lit up with a fire he could no longer hide- his grip against Haider tightened almost painfully, hope twisting in the air between them-

But then Asra laughed, damp, small, desperate. “I can’t argue with you like this. What can I say when we both want the same thing? I don’t want to leave you behind, and you don’t want me to go.”

It was gone, fading and wilting in the instant that it came.

Asra’s hands trembled when he let go, and he leaned against the doorway, wreathed in sunlight.

Haider felt the loss of his touch- ached, and ached, and ached.

“We-“ Asra ran a hand through his hair, his brow furrowing as he muttered something in Zadithi to himself, his other hand pressed to his chest. When he caught his breath, he sighed, his gaze drifting wistfully to the horizon beyond them. “But we can’t have always have what we want, can we? No matter how right it feels.”

He met Haider’s eyes with a small smile - amethyst to mahogany “You’re more honest in dreams.”

In dreams?

He was dreaming. This was a dream.

There was a dream before this, and there would be one after this- and all his dreams of late had been of Asra.

In some of them they spoke, in some others, he reached out to Asra through the winding, twisting roads with the call of his voice, in others, they sprawled beside each other, younger and more joyful- in some, they danced until the morning washed them away like a wave does a name on the sand.

But if this was a dream- he could say anything he wanted to.

He could say anything he wanted to.

Haider staggered forward, but Asra was gone.

No, no-

He raced down the stairs- this was the shop- the dream of it- at the bottom of the stairs he would still be there and smiling, or at the kitchens, or in the kitchens, or the counter, or the backroom, reading his cards, or one of his books, he was here, and Haider still had time-

His surroundings shifted, ephemeral and featherlight, fog and smoke. Empty.

The words lodged in his chest beat their wings like frantic birds- don’t go don’t go stay with me stay with me stay till the sun sets stay till everything goes dark and after I could hold you forever if you asked me to

Stay with me till I love you like I know I will.

He flung the door open, stumbling past the front steps, The streets were all made of light, cotton in his limbs- Asra was nowhere to be found.

Haider called out to him, again and again- why couldn’t he just say it when it mattered- when his voice wasn’t drowning- when Asra was beside him- when he could have had him in a dream until the morning- and now he couldn’t- he couldn’t-

Haider awoke with a gasp, shaking, a hand over his pained, racing heart. The silk sheets around him were in a state of disarray, rumpled between his restless limbs. He dropped his face into his hands, his toes curling as they hit the ground.

The palace. He was at the palace. The Countess, the job. And Asra- Asra had left the day before, walked into the night as he always did, with Faust over his shoulders, the lingering look in his eyes cut short when the knock at the door had called Haider back.

“Alright there, buddy?”

The familiar voice made him jump, and he whipped around.

He must be dreaming still. He’s got to be dreaming still.

But this light was the summer’s- the color of straw, washing over the walls solid to his touch.

Haider blinked. “Sterling?”

“Welcome to the land of the waking!” She threw her legs over the windowsill without a care in the world, swinging up to land on the carpet with a blinding grin.

“How the hell did you-“

She shrugged, examining the fresh fruit basket laid out on the end table. “The ivy, duh.”

“The-“ Haider slumped weakly against the headboard. “You- you climbed the Palace wall?”

“Yep.” She plucked a strawberry from the basket. “Mm, nice.”

“Sterling, that could get you arrested!”

She laughed. “Not if I don’t let them catch me.”

Despite himself, Haider was impressed. The grounds were just about crawling with guards. It was no mean feat of stealth that she’d managed to evade all of them.

“And it’s not the first time I’ve done it, either.”

Haider rolled his eyes. “Or, you know, you could’ve just asked at the gates for me. Like a normal person.”

“Boring.” She wrinkled her nose. “But hey, I came to give you this.” She fished around in her pocket for a moment, emerging with a carefully wrapped package. The sweet aroma of pumpkin bread made Haider sit up again, catching the treat when she tossed it to him. “Since you’re cooped up here in this tower” She looked around at the lavish surroundings with evident distaste. “Thought it’d cheer you up. I even paid for it, and everything.”

He broke the bread in half, the dear, familiar taste of Selasi’s baking washing over him, easing the heaviness in his heart, the lingering panic and the strange grief at the dream’s aftermath. But it was Sterling too, with her Flooded-District Vesuvian and her cropped magenta hair and all her half a dozen piercings, who would scale the palace walls for a friend and turn pumpkin bread into an adventure.

“Thank you, Stelli.” Hand over heart, he made space for her to settle down beside him, and she did, not bothering to take off her shoes as she sprawled comfortably over the plush bed. “Don’t mention it.” She mumbled through a mouthful of pumpkin bread. “Heard you had dinner with the Countess.”

“Oh, yeah. She’s been- kind.”

Sterling snorted. “Isn’t she out to hang that guy?”

“I- Yeah, I was hoping I could change that.” Haider winced. “Somehow. It seems cruel. I just- I don’t know, Sterling. I’m no detective.”

“Look at you though. Can’t be me.” She nudged him. “Changing the world, and all.”

“Not the world, just. I don’t- want to do the wrong thing.”

“Changing the world.” She singsonged, and straightened, scooting closer to put a hand on his shoulder. “You looked like you were having another dream.”

“Watching me while I sleep?” He quipped. “Creep.”

“Don’t flatter yourself.” She pursed her lips. “Was it a bad one?”

“I-“

He could still taste the berry, feel Asra’s touch against his cheek. The lurch of the light and the blood rushing to his ears- the rush of emotion like a waterfall- bittersweet.

“Good- and bad- I can’t tell. I can never tell with them. I don’t think I can-“

Three quick knocks against the door, and Portia’s cheerful voice asked him if he was ready for breakfast.

“Sounds like my cue. Give Portia my love, though. I owe her a drink.” Sterling gathered herself up, wiping the breadcrumbs with the back of her hand. “I’ll come back when I can, but hey-“ She pulled him into a quick hug, squeezing tight. “If you wanna paint it out, door’s always open.” Her lips twitched, and she winked. “Window, more like.”

His hand hovered in the air, before he let it fall down to his side. A gust of wind rustled the velvet drapes. Sick of the empty room, he wiped his eyes on his sleeve, and hurried towards the door.

[animarosa]

Ryder/Jaal: 19. “You’re beautiful/handsome, and I’m not the only one that thinks that.” Your pick on who is getting the compliment.

Note: As always, thanks for the prompt! I enjoy writing these two ~

Summary: After overhearing angaran women speak of their attraction to Jaal, Sara Ariadne begins having feelings of inadequacy regarding her relationship with the Resistance lieutenant.  

Sara tapped her fingers to the rhythm of the song she was listening to, though she wasn’t paying much attention to it. With a sigh, she kept staring at the terminal screen, her current report half-finished. It seemed her mind was set on distracting her with the conversation she overheard earlier from a group of gossiping angaran ladies. Well, not gossiping, but sharing their admiration for Jaal. Or rather, their obvious attraction to him…and what a waste it was that he’d fallen for an ‘alien’. Sara was only thankful she had been wearing her hoodie over her head, hiding the embarrassment in her features when she hurried away earlier.

She knew better than to let something so insignificant bother her but the conversation resurfaced feelings of inadequacy in her. It was obvious she and Jaal were genetically incompatible and, while they hadn’t yet talked about having a family in the future, she thought she was robbing him of the opportunity to have a big angaran family of his own flesh and blood.

With a stifled groan and quick ruffling of her own hair, she chastised herself and tried to distract herself by singing along to the tune blaring from her speakers instead.

“Southern skies, have you ever noticed southern skies…Southern skies, it’s precious beauty…” she sang and hummed softly, fingers finally tapping the keyboard to the beat of the song as she continued her report.

Of course, this was the moment she would be interrupted by the one person she had been thinking about not a moment ago. Jaal casually walked into her room, smiling widely when he caught her singing and moving her shoulders slightly side to side in tune. Ever the sucker for procrastinating, Sara didn’t protest when Jaal stood before her and held out his hand. Her singing was only briefly interrupted by a giggle as she took his hand.

Pulling her to her feet, Jaal danced as best he could to the song, mostly following her lead. They danced, held each other close, and laughed when they tripped over each other until the song ended and it was followed by a faster, upbeat tune.

“I don’t think I can dance to that one,” Jaal chuckled, leaning down to her level and pressing his forehead to hers softly.

“If Drack can dance to it, so can you,” Sara laughed and snorted.

For a moment she was still, enjoying his closeness, her hands resting idly on his shoulders, reveling in his large hands on her hips, pulling her close. As she looked into his beautiful eyes, the thoughts she had been trying to block out came back to the front of her mind. It showed in her features, brow shifting with concern, lips downturning, because Jaal quickly pulled back slightly to look to her with worry.

“My darling, what’s wrong?” he asked in earnest, his hands coming up to cup her cheeks gently.

Sara bit her lower lip, avoiding his gaze momentarily when she took his hands in hers. Pulling them down in front of her chest, she gave them a firm squeeze when she asked, “Jaal…Are you…really, really happy with me? Do you feel there’s anything...missing?”

“Ari,” he used her nickname, his eyes widening in shock as if he’d been slapped across the face. “Of course! How could I not be? Have I…” his gaze shifted, as if searching his thoughts, brow furrowing with worry. “Have I not shown it enough? Is there something about your culture that I am missing? I could-”

“No, you didn’t do anything wrong!” she hurriedly reassured him, suddenly feeling guilty for distressing him like this.

Tilting his head slightly, worry dissipating mildly, he inquired, “Then why do you ask me this my dearest?”

“Oh Jaal…It’s just…You’re handsome, wonderful—” she smiled softly, enamoured by the way his cheeks and cowl flushed a darker shade of purple. Just as her smile came, it was gone, gaze downcast as she bit on her lower lip anxiously. “—and I’m not the only one that thinks that,” Sara went on and took a deep breath. “I heard some angaran ladies speaking about you…I bet you have more admirers and–Point I’m trying to make, Jaal, is…well, I’m not angaran, obviously, I’m an alien and–” Releasing his hands, she made a vague gesture at nothing in particular, mostly she waved her hands all around herself.  “I’ll never be able to give you what an angaran woman can, and…well–”

“Ariadne, darling, please,” Jaal was quick to interrupt her then, starting to understand where this uncertainty stemmed from. “I love you for who you are, your differences from my species included.” Offering one of his gentle, warm smiles, he took her hands in his again, lifting them to his lips to kiss her knuckles.

“But…But we’re not biologically compatible,” she tried to argue, mostly giving into her self-doubt. Yet, how could she let these doubts emerge when he praised her on a daily basis like this? “I know we haven’t talked about this much but…Doesn’t this concern you just a bit? I know how important families are to your people, I just feel…like I’m robbing you of your own…biological children…I feel selfish, I love you so, so much and…” Sara stumbled over her own words, mouth opening and closing wordlessly. Instead she opted to just slump forward against his chest and buried her face in his rofjinn, wrapping her arms around his waist.

“My darling, my dearest, owner of my heart.” Soothingly he drew an arm around her shoulders, bringing his other hand to caress her hair, lightly tracing the copper brown roots down to the fading blue-lilac hair dye. “Let me ask you the same then. Does it concern you?”

“I…No,” she admitted, resting her chin against his chest and stared up at his loving gaze. Of course, she hadn’t considered that this implied she wouldn’t have biological children with him either. “Even if it’s only ever just the two of us, I’d be just as immensely happy as I am with you now,” a smile tugged at the corners of her lips once more, unable to contain herself at the thought of spending the rest of her life with Jaal.

“There is your answer,” Jaal grinned widely at that, leaning his head down to kiss her forehead. “And if we ever wanted a family, there are other ways. My people value families, Ariadne, but that doesn’t mean it’s limited to biological children.”

“I should have probablyasked you sooner,” she laughed. Standing on her toes, she pressed a quick chaste kiss to his chin. “Sorry, I just…let bad thoughts get to me sometimes, love.”

“Worry not. I am glad we talked about it though, thank you for sharing your worries with me, darling,” he declared. Gently grasping the back of her head, fingers threaded through her soft hair, he tugged her towards him as he leaned down meeting her lips in a soft, langid kiss.

Sara hummed happily against his lips, bringing her hands up around his neck, fingers softly tracing the grooves between his crests. The groan she elicited from him had her heart fluttering when he deepened the kiss in turn, his rougher tongue tracing her lower lip before she allowed him access into her mouth, meeting him halfway with her softer one. The familiar tingling of his bioelectricity was quickly egging her on, goosebumps running all over her skin. Just as she was really starting to get into it, sucking in his lower lip and lightly nipping, he pulled back gently, staring at her through hooded eyes as a whimper escaped her from the loss of contact.

Clearing his throat, he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear when he said, “Now…if I saw correctly, I believe I interrupted you writing a report.”

“Oh no, I was singing,” Sara was quick to reply, any excuse to keep him close to her, to keep going, anything but going back to her duty.

“While writing a report,” Jaal didn’t miss a beat as he gently pulled her arms from around his waist, kissing them once again. Just like that, he began pulling her back to her desk.

“Jaaaaaal,” she whined, pulling back herself, trying to get out of his grip. “I’ll do it later, just-”

“Sara, you should finish it,” he insisted, refusing to let go, the terminal screen with the unfinished report staring (menacingly) at her from behind him.

“Don’t you want to kiss me a lot instead?” she asked with a suggestive wiggle of her eyebrows. “Come on, you kissed me first! You can’t tease me like that!

“Take it as a promise for later my temptress,” he did his best to wink as she taught him. “Besides…You always complain when you leave reports for the last minute, so…”

“Sara, I agree with Jaal. You should finish that report,” SAM spoke then, his orb flaring on her desk. “Lest you risk procrastinating on it so much that you regret it later.”

Sara stopped protesting then, pouting petulantly and leering at both Jaal and SAM. Giving up her fight, she allowed Jaal to pull her back to her chair, on which she unceremoniously flopped down on, rolling back until she hit the edge of her desk. “…I hate both of you…”

“I love you my darling,” Jaal chuckled, quite used to her idioms by now, knowing she didn’t literally hate him, it was just playful banter. Except she was annoyed. “If you finish your report soon…well, I’ll go take a shower first and I’ll come back to check on you. It’ll be up to you how soon I get to deliver further on that kiss we started on,” Jaal chuckled and kissed her cheek before stepping away.

Waving at her from the door and winking (again!), he left only when she waved back, her pout unrelenting. Now she was really regretting showing him about winking suggestively.

[chansoolove6112]

Researchers have discovered that dogs tends to adopt the same personality traits as their owners...😄😄😄😄

Credit : rightful owners

[lurkz]

Came for the Job, Left With a Date

For Sanvers Week Day 1 - Alternate Meeting

Summary:  When Maggie got assigned to run security for a scientific conference based on a threat, she never expected to meet a gorgeous scientist that turned out to be more than met the eye. Set pre-canon.

Maggie took in the setup in the hotel conference room. It was early, far earlier than the attendees of the convention would begin arriving for the first day of panels, though the organizers were already milling about. It was not, however, too early for Maggie and her fellow Science Division officers to be checking out security. A threat of an alien attack had been anonymously phoned into the precinct the day before. With no way to verify the authenticity, it was deemed a relatively low priority threat by the division. Which didn’t meant they were going to ignore it.

As newest detective in the division, Maggie had been assigned to provide convention security along with a pair of relatively junior officers. They weren’t rookies but nor were they that long out of patrol. Of course, that basically described the Science Division itself as the newest specialized division in the NCPD. Maggie may have only recently transferred over from investigating hate crimes and missing persons and the like over in Vice but even the most senior member of the division had only been there just shy of a year.

Maggie had spent the previous night memorizing the names of all the panelists and studying their specialties, trying to figure out which one of them might be the target. The only one that had really jumped out at her had been a Dr. Danvers, bioengineer but with a litany of research in exobiology. Plus, she was the keynote speaker for the first day. Maggie just hoped that, if there really was a threat, the attack wouldn’t come during said keynote. Corralling a bunch of scientists in the middle of a lunch presentation wasn’t her idea of fun.

That would be happening in one of the hotel ballrooms, however. The space she was currently standing in was one of the larger convention spaces, setup with rows of chairs for listening to presentations. Maggie sighed. On the one hand, the fact that there was only really one way in made security easier. On the other, it would be a nightmare to evacuate if there was a threat.

“Oh! Doctor Danvers! It’s so good to see you again!”

Maggie spun around at the sound of the conference organizer’s voice. Speaking of Doctor Danvers… Maggie paused, head cocked slightly. Ok, Dr. Danvers was way younger than she was expecting given the list of accomplishments. As in, younger than Maggie, younger. She frowned in suspicion and studied Dr. Danvers carefully. Other than the age, there was nothing particularly off about the woman. She was tall, though Maggie suspected out of her heels she was closer to average height. Auburn hair cropped to just below her chin and dressed in a classic black suit over a white collared shirt. It was the eyes that caught Maggie, though. Big and brown, they looked like they could be the kind of eyes Maggie could easily lose herself in if the woman’s gaze had been warm rather than cool and distant as it was now.

The auburn haired woman smiled politely at the organizer, shaking her hand. “Doctor Yu, it’s good to see you as well.”

“I’m so glad you could make it to the conference. Your recent paper on alien viruses and their transmission vectors was fascinating. I’m very interested to hear about your current research. Are you building on the previous results?”

“Yes, I am. Some of the subsequent testing has revealed some interesting possibilities. Of course, we don’t know exactly where it will take us yet but I’m interested to see what feedback the attendees might have.”

“Excellent. I look forward to hearing about it. Everything is going well in Seattle, I trust? I was so pleased to hear you decided to accept the job there.”

Maggie watched as Danvers’ smile warmed slightly but her eyes glinted with… amusement? “It went great but I’m down here at the National City lab now as of just last month.”

Keep Reading on Ao3

[agentlilicarter]

My favourite AMVs/fan videos

So just to be clear: these videos aren't made by me, they belong to all the amazingly talented people on Youtube. I just thought I would try to post those I bumped into not so long ago (1 year or so). Most of them are about JJBA, but I'll try to add other AMVs to them from other fandoms I like. So yeah, this will still be expanded. The links are in right before the video title.

JJBA

[X] JJBA - Believer [AMV] by Blue Death - this one shows Jonathan's and Dio's 100 year long battle

[X] Bustin' by Blue Death - this one is just funny XD Just perfect 🤣 I can't say more about it.

[X] Bubblegum Bitch - Dio AMV by crysEdits - One of the most perfect song for Dio, the most iconic Drama Queen.

[X] Dio Brando AMV - Primadonna by Michalina Chrzanowska- Again, another perfect song and AMV for Dio.

[X] Dio Brando - Oh no! [AMV] by Blue Death - Honestly this was the first Dio AMV I saw and it surprisingly fits to him.

[X] My Type [AMV] by Blue Death - The vibe of this song is perfect for Part 2; it has a suave vibe. I love how in the song you can hear someone breathing out like in Part 2 Joseph had to watch out for the right breathing. The editing is top notch.

[X] Part 2 AMV-Satellite by Giblow 20 - It's a cool AMV, I was surprised by the song choice but it's a good choice. And the editing is great too.

[X] Joseph AMV (Overdrive) by doppvolia - I think this is a cool AMV, Joseph's theme is my favourite from the six JoJo's theme.

[X] Joseph Joestar - When you were young [AMV] by Blue Death - This shows actually that Joseph wasn't just a goofy character, he too went through a lot. This is just... sad. I cried an awfully lot because of this. The parallel between Ceazar and Polnareff and then Kakyoin 😭

[X] JJBA - Glitter and Gold by Novani - Wow, this is just... so well done. I can't say too much about it. 😅

[X] Teenagers • JJBA AMV by Mai☆ - "Jotaro scares the living shit out of me" (Sorry 😆)

[X] Stardust Crusaders [AMV] - I'm so sorry by BadGoodBoi - This is a cool edit, with a cool song for a cool team.

[X] Jotaro Kujo - Monster AMV by Blue - This Skillet song fits perfectly to Jotaro. He wanted to stay in the prison because he thought he was posessed and would hurt people he loved. He thought about the manifestation of his own soul as an evil spirit.

[X] Stardust Crusaders - Everytime we touch [AMV] by Blue Death - I never expected this song for a non romantic AMV but here it is. And it actually made me cry.

[X] Diamond Is Unbreakable - Rollercoaster [AMV] by Blue Death - It's so nostalgic and emotional, just like DiU is for me. I love how it captures the beautiful friendship between Josuke and Okuyasu! The part when the refrain starts for the last time

[X] Turn Up the Crazy Diamond - [ Panic! At The Disco & JJBA] AMV by D. Nubs - This is actually great how the whole video is synced to Victorious. The song references Killer Queen a lot, and it's about getting away with murder, which is basically Kira.

[X] Vento Aureo ("Golden Wind") - Turn [AMV] by Blue Death - Okay, this is basically a tribute to Bruno's kindness. I like to think this is also Giorno missing the gang; all those craziness that happened to them.

[X]Vento Aureo ("Golden Wind") - Heartlines [AMV] by Blue Death - This one is just as emotional as the former GW AMV.

[X] JoJo's Bizarre Adventure - Gangsta's Paradise [AMV] by Novani - I can't say much about it, it's so good.

FE3H

[X] FE3H GD Spoilers | World We're Gonna Make | (...) by ContestChar - This is a GMV but I still put it here because this is my favourite and GD is my favourite house and team from the game. The song fits perfectly for Claude, his dreams and for my OTP too in this game. God I miss the skittles. 🥲

[topshelf2112-blog]

For my HawkBeej peeps

You guys know I've gone all OTP on this show, BUT, was watching Hawkeye and BJ with that red thread/ yarn-of-domesticity and thinking about stitches and heartlines and using thread as a way through the labyrinth... as something to say: come this way, come home, somebody's on the other end... and nostalgia comes from "nostoi" - longing for a home you never had

Just a thought

[lightblindingme]

My Fics - Sons of Anarchy, otp: Tara x Jax

Set Me Free  - AU: Tara Knowles is a History professor who comes to Charming in the hope of escaping her violent past. At her new job she meets a boy who starts to intrigue her. And then she meets his father, the notorious, good-looking local MC president, Jax Teller. After all that she has been through, will she be able to trust him and let him into her life? (WiP, current chapter count: 57/60)

Heartlines - AU: Jax and Tara as highschool sweethearts with tough family life. Despite their grand love, Tara leaves Charming one day with no explanation, leaving Jax to try and piece together his broken heart. Years pass, things happen and he has a son named Jake, has left SAMCRO, and doesn’t speak to Gemma.15 years later, Jake finds the journals Jax had been writing back in the day and questions start arising: Who is Tara? Why did she leave? Is she alive? and if so, Is it possible for Jax and her to find happiness again? (WiP, current chapter count: 5/8)

Words Meet Heartbeats - Arranged Marriage AU: After many years of bad blood, the heads of SAMCRO and SAMBEL charters decide it is high time they ended it for good. To bring their charters closer together, Nero Padilla and Filip "Chibs" Telford make a decision: Their children, Jax and Tara, are to marry. Sounds wonderful, doesn't it? The only problem: They hate each other. AKA enemies to friends to lovers AU (WiP, current chapter count: 9/?)

Crazy Much? - Twoshot set in S7:Gemma talks to Tara's ghost. But this time, Tara has something to say to Gemma too. (Finished)

Dreams (Like a Heartbeat of Loneliness and Hope) - Strangers AU: Tara Knowles spends her days saving lives and mourning the ones she loses. When a chance encounter with a stranger leaves her awestruck, she doesn't think all too much of it. Until it happens again. And again. Her own mystery man starts appearing in the moments she needs human contact the most, forcing her to start contemplating about her life and decisions she makes. (WiP, current chapter count: 4/?)

Hearts Go Crazy - AU: Jax is a fighter and Tara has a fiancé, who is none other than Jax's sponsor. But what happens when Jax starts giving Tara self-defence classes and gets turned on by her sexual innuendos, and more importantly, starts falling for her? How long will he be able to keep his feelings, and his hands, to himself? Jax/Tara slow burn, strangers to lovers AU (WiP, current chapter count: 20)

Changing Tides - Oneshot set in 4x10, extended scene at the park (Finished)

I Need You Now - Oneshot set in S7: Jax talks to Tara's ghost and Tara has so much to tell him. She's angry and with reason. (Finished)

You can also find my fics on FFNet 

[sunfyress]

Daily Challenge: WIP/OC edition made by @hughstheforcelou

Monday: Make a 5-10 song playlist for your WIP/oc/otp

ILARIA LANNISTER + ROBB STARK PLAYLIST

neptune — sleeping at last

❝ i wanna tell you but i don't know how i'm only honest when it rains an open book, with a torn out page and my inks run out ❞

amsterdam — daughter

❝ by the morning i will have grown back i'll escape with him show him all my skin ❞

heartlines — florence + the machine

❝ on the sea, on the sea and land over land creeping and crawling like the sea over sand still i follow heartlines on your hand ❞

war of hearts — ruelle

❝ i can't help but love you even though i try not to i can't help but want you i know that i'd die without you ❞

i found — amber run

❝ and i found love where it wasn't supposed to be right in front of me talk some sense to me ❞

smother — daughter

❝ i should go now quietly for my bones have found a place to lie down and sleep ❞

king and lionheart — of monsters and men

❝ his crown lid up the way as we moved slowly pass the wondering eyes of the ones that were left behind though far away, though far away, though far away we're still the same, we're still the same, we're still the same ❞

bloodsport — raleigh ritchie

❝ loving you is a bloodspot fighting in a love war ❞

cold blooded — khalid

❝ you want what i'm giving up but my love is not enough cold blooded, cold blooded ❞

milk and honey — billie marten

❝ you live for over-kill, but you're ungrateful still all you want is honey, well honey i tried you just want more and now it's all gone ❞

tag list for lionheart: @oddlylovingdreams @golden-limbs (want to be added hmu)

[astraguardian]

Link for the ask meme

Favorite thing about them: I love how wholesome Link is, especially with how he interacts with cats and dogs. He just radiates good vibes.

Least favorite thing about them: Honestly not sure what to say here? Is his inability to jump in most games an acceptable answer?

Favorite line: Uh, I like “hyaa”?

brOTP: Link and Midna or Link and Ravio

OTP: Zelink, though Link has a lot of cute other relationships throughout the games too

nOTP: Link and Ganon, I guess?

Random headcanon: Link’s really good at telling animals apart and he always recognizes the ones he’s already met.

Unpopular opinion: Not sure what’s considered unpopular but I guess I associate botw!Link more with controlled chaos that backfires sometimes than being feral.

Song I associate with them: I think “Heartlines” by Florence + the Machine is fitting for him!

Favorite picture of them:

(yes, I really like Link with pets)

[myrcella]

001 + pathologic?

heyy, thanks harper!! i love pathologic i wish the fandom were bigger 🐮

001 | Send me a fandom and I will tell you my:

Favorite character: it would have to be clara / the changeling!! her dialogue is so sassy but at her core she’s a confused girl in a confusing town--and she has a double following her around--and she can do miracles, she swears...

Least Favorite character: i’m not personally crazy for the bachelor but i don’t hate him. young vlad i guess lol 

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): nara/artemy, clara/alexander block (obviously when she is an adult), it’s hard to find 5 

Character I find most attractive: the commander it’s aurora brand

Character I would marry: ^

Character I would be best friends with: taya is the sweetest babiest and i just want to give her all the toys and sweets in the world! LEMME ADOPTTTT HER.

A random thought: the mythos is incredibly complex and nonsense and i’m batshit for it. i’m also batshit for such a niche culture getting the forefront (the steppe and mongolian influence irl). 

An unpopular opinion: i don’t have one the fandom is pretty miniscule and chill. i mean it’s a plague game

My canon OTP: nara/artemy--@dolcesiva and i would like to know your location if you don’t believe they are fated and written in the heart of the town *crying whilst listening to heartlines by fatm* HOW COULD I FORGET SUCH A WONDERFUL GIRL

Non-canon OTP: -

Most badass character: aglaya is out here doing the absolute most, she is the moment 

Pairing I am not a fan of: artemy/bachelor bc i don’t ship slash, but it’s prevalent in the fandom. not that i’m arsed if people ship it

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): absolutely none this is ice pick lodge’s world baby we’re just living in it

Favourite friendship: daddy artemy & his baby murky ;____; “i loved you the moment i saw you” gets me every time when she’s sick, and she’s spent the entire game pretending she doesn’t like him at all. she’s just so scared of becoming close to someone who might not be permanent. and daddy petyr and grace <333 i’m so happy they ended up being a great fit together.

[gabbysdawsons]

everything from the niche questions for Lennon Griffin?

a song that reminds me of them

heartlines by Florence + the machine

what they smell like

daisies, roses, lots of flowery scents really

an otp

Lennon x Harry

a notp

Lennon x MCU!MJ ‘cause they are purely platonic

favorite platonic/familial relationships

okay her relationship with her dad is really cute actually. I love it so much. He’s got this very deadpan sense of humour and she finds it absolutely hilarious.

this being said, her relationship with Peter is everythinb to me because they are both huge nerds but for wildly different things. so they have this same very excitable nerd energy but it’s never directed at the same things

the position they sleep in

she sleeps on her back with her arms usually thrown above her head

a crossover au i’d love to see them in

oh seeing her in a teen drama like Riverdale or Teen Wolf would be kind of funny tbh

my favorite outfit they’ve ever worn

[animarosa]

“I noticed” for Jaal/Ryder?

Note: I’m so sorry this took forever, I’ve been so blocked writing ;;

Summary: In which Sara Ariadne takes notice of Jaal struggling with his hands and decides to help him.

Sara admired Jaal while he tinkered away, his large form hunched over her desk. His hands crowded the small communications device he was working on, brow pulling together in what she thought was focus. Yet, she’d been long enough with him to notice his lip pursing, nose flinching and hands looking painfully cramped. He was struggling, his fingers too large for the small piece he was trying to install on the device. Even without his gloves he was proving to have difficulty. Her suspicion was confirmed when he paused to attempt to stretch out his hands, huffing as he did so, before quickly (and stubbornly) resuming his work.

“Hey,” she caught his attention and walked towards him, pulling up a chair to sit beside him. “Give me one of your hands,” she said whilst holding out hers.

For a moment he gave her a quizzical look but trusted her either way, offering the hand closest to her. Taking his hand between hers, she began softly kneading her thumbs into the palm of his hand. “What are you–Oh…” Jaal quickly realised what she was doing when she began using her other fingers, stretching and massaging along the back of his hand all the while her thumbs focused on his palm. With a pleased purr, he relaxed into her touch, leaning his free arm against her desk. “Don’t stop, please...”

“This feel good?” she smiled warmly, the hand massage uninterrupted.

“Mmm, yes...” Jaal swore he could easily fall asleep if she kept doing that. The massage alone was not only easing his cramped up hands but lulling him into a state of relaxation.

“Your other one, love,” Sara urged softly when she finished with the first hand, mimicking the same massage routine on his other hand.

“How did you know I needed this?” Jaal asked after a while, his electric blue gaze now focused on her lovely face, catching her green eyes when she looked up at him.

“I noticed you frown a lot when you work on really small things,” she motioned with her chin towards the now forgotten communications device he had been tinkering with. “Sometimes I think you’re concentrating, but lately I’ve noticed your hands look awfully cramped working with tiny stuff like that. Figured you could use a massage. I’m not good at it but…” she shrugged, a faint blush staining her cheeks, dropping her gaze while she continued working out the kinks in his hand.

“Ari,” he all but purred out her nickname, eyes staring at her with nothing but adoration. “Have I told you lately that I love you, that I adore you?”

“Often,” Sara looked up at him at that, catching that gaze that took her breath away and giggled. “In fact, I’m not sure I tell you how much I love you as much as you do.”

“You just did with your actions,” he reassured her, glancing down at her hands as she finished the massage. Before she could pull them away (not that she was trying), he took her hands in both of his, thumbs softly caressing the back of her hands. “It warms my heart to know you pay attention to such details…”

“Of course!” she grinned brightly, hands squeezing around his. “You’re my favorite person, I love noticing details about you,” she snorted, knowing she sounded extremely cheesy but to Jaal it was a welcomed declaration of love, one that had him blushing.

“Taoshay…” Pulling her hands up to his lips, he kissed her knuckles, never breaking his gaze from hers. “And you are my favorite person in the galaxy…”

“Aww, sweetie,” Sara stood from her chair to hug him, kissing his cheek before nudging her forehead against his.

“Do not doubt your ability to give a good massage, I could have fallen asleep from how good it was my darling,” Jaal looked up at her, resting his chin against her chest. “I’ll repay this later–” Smirking, he urged her down to sit on his lap. Bringing a hand up to cup her cheek, he leaned in close, ghosting his lips over hers when he all but whispered deeply, continuing his line of thought, “–when we have more privacy. Mmm, I want nothing more than to bury my face in your-”

“Jaal!” Sara gasped and widened her eyes, pulling back to playfully slap at his chest. Despite this, she still laughed and snorted, blushing furiously as she knew well enough the things he would say. If there was one thing Jaal was good at was switching from sweet talk to dirty talk in a moments notice, without missing a beat and without warning. “You’re making me blush, stop!”

Jaal chuckled, half-lidded eyes boring into hers, his pupils mildly dilated. “I love it when you blush my darling, my love…” Suddenly he leaned in close, kissing her neck softly and continuing to speak against her skin, “I love it even more when you-”

Sara gasped, knowing full well that if she didn’t leave now she wouldn’t get work done (and neither would he). Giggling when his breath tickled her neck, she shrugged out of his hold. “Ho-kay! Bye, I-I’ll see you later! Got a vidcall and-and you need to f-finish that!” With that hurried excuse, she gave him a quick chaste kiss and bolted for the door, damning him for chuckling so deeply, teasing and tempting her. “Oh my god…”

[chansoolove6112]

Credit:rightful owners

[seungwannie-s-hyunnie]

DO NOT PLAY YOUR PLAYLIST AT WORK. ESPECIALLY WHEN IT’S RAINING AND YOUR TIRED OR WHEN YOU’RE DRIVING.

I was playing mine during work, it was okay at first when I realized it is full of my OTP music AKA CLEXA AND SANVERS, songs that reminds me of them. And so All through the night, Heartlines, Coming Home and Clexa theme started playing and I don’t even know how to react like i love the songs but my eyes are tearing up. I think I’d like to crash my car now. ☹️

[animarosa]

Title: Heartlines

Chapters: 3/? [<PREVIOUS | NEXT> ] (cross-posted on AO3)

Rating: Mature

Warnings: None.

Pairing: Jaal Ama Darav/Sara Ryder (custom)

Notes: Thanks once more to @goodbibarbarella​ for beta-reading! <3

Chapter 3

Numb. She was simply numb, her mind burying her self-inflicted problem to the back of her priorities just so she could make it through a meeting with Nexus leadership. Her father’s death, becoming Pathfinder, trying to live up to everyone’s impossible expectations (while competing with her father’s shadow), and now the lies she told Julian when she spoke to him through his SAM implant. How she hadn’t simply broken down into uselessness was beyond her.

The moment the meeting was over and she began rushing back to the Tempest, SAM finally spoke through their private channel.

‘Sara...Your mood has been noticeably affected since your talk with Julian. Do you wish to speak of what’s bothering you?’

Outwardly she sighed in exasperation while she answered SAM in her mind. ‘I think you know, SAM. Please, don’t ask me again.’

There was a moment of silence, as if the AI was hesitating on how to respond. ‘I apologize, Sara. I thought it would be best to ask you directly.’

If she didn’t know better, she would say SAM sounded almost hurt by her dismissive attitude. Great, she thought, now she felt worse. Here was her AI, learning about emotions and seemingly developing his own, and she was no doubt making him feel like a nuisance. ‘Alright, fair. But no, SAM, I don’t want to talk about it so just...don’t...I’m sorry, I don’t mean to hurt you, I promise. I just...want to be alone to my thoughts right now...Please.’

‘Understood, Sara.’

At least SAM complied with her wishes. However, she couldn’t say the same of her crew. Perhaps they hadn’t boarded the Tempest yetl. All she had to do was sneak in, run to the stairs and lock herself in her room. Easy. All she needed was a bit of time alone, she pondered. Her crew needed their Pathfinder, not a weepy mess of a woman whining about how much of a liar she is—she just needed a few hours to get her emotional shit back together before she broke under the pressure.

However, as luck would have it, the moment she was about to slide down the stairs to her room, she noticed Jaal on the other side of the hallway, walking towards her, smiling warmly. She cursed him in her mind, not out of spite, no, but because his very presence welcomed her, made her want to speak with him and vent to him but...she couldn’t. She wouldn’t place that burden on him...Besides, angara were honest people; what would he think of her found out she lied to her own flesh and blood, out of selfishness no less.

“Sara Ariadne, my dearest friend,” he announced, the smile on his face slowly fading, instead glancing curiously at her, “I did not expect you to be back so soon. Did something happen?”

“Jaal, hey,” she tried her best to smile, to fake it and act as she normally did with him. Instead, she was sure the expression looked forced and her face strained. “Yeah, just, got a lot to catch up on and...I should ask you the same, why are you back so soon?”

His lips twitched, as if trying to contain himself from smiling, glancing away from her momentarily. “Working on a bit of a...project, if you would call it that,” he chuckled. “By the way...how’s your brother? You rushed off earlier saying something about being allowed to speak to him through...SAM?”

There it was, the question she dreaded. She must have flinched and barely realized it, for Jaal frowned, looking to her with worry. So much for hiding her inner turmoil. “Oh...yeah. Yeah, through his SAM implant,” hurriedly she explained, nearly tripping over her words, fidgeting mindlessly with her fingers. “Umm...he’s doing alright. You know, he’s antsy to recover already...So eager to join me…”

“That is good to hear,” Jaal replied with a small smile, though his eyes were ever watchful of her body language. Watchfully his gaze shifted quickly between her face and hands, a knowing look in his eyes. “It would be a delight to have another Ryder in the crew.”

“Yeah, of course,” she laughed nervously, scratching at the back of her neck, glancing away from his inspecting eyes.

“Ariadne?” He caught her attention again by using her middle name, as he usually did when they were alone and sharing their thoughts. Placing a hand on her shoulder, he asked, “Are you...well? Your face is...happy but your eyes are not. Not as they usually are...You’re also more quiet my dearest friend.”

“Ah, just tired,” she reasoned, trying to reassure him and surely failing. This man knew her so well already, down to her body language, so much so that it amazed her. She thought he’d had to learn to read her better as she wasn’t so out there with her emotions as angara were (though by Jaal’s own admission, she was much more expressive than other humans). “Just finished meeting with Nexus directives, ah...got a lot to report on...Been lazy,” she laughed loudly, snorting. Slowly she began inching towards the stairwell. “I should probably get to that, Jaal. I’ll...leave you to your project.”

“Of course,” Jaal smiled, almost sadly, following her with his gaze as she slid down the stairs. Clearly he wouldn’t push her, he knew this already, but he needed to let her know she could speak out if she so desired. “Ariadne?” he called for her once she was downstairs, looking up at him with a quirked brow.

“Yeah?”

“I’m...here for you. Anything you need,” he promised in earnest, his tone unwavering, his electric blue eyes warm but filled with worry.

“...Thank you, Jaal,” she replied quietly, almost a whisper, barely unable to hide the sadness in her tone. With a nod up at him she finally slid into her quarters. Loudly sighing, she slumped against the wall next to her door, hugging her knees to her chest once she was on the floor. God, how she hated herself for that awfully short conversation. Of course he would notice something amiss, he wasn’t a fool. She was usually loud, eager to speak with him and share their hobbies together. Resigned, she told herself repeatedly he was too good for her–she didn’t even deserve him as a friend. She wouldn’t burden him, she refused to, despite her heart yearning to be listened by him, to be comforted by his soothing words.

They were back on Eos to finally deal with the kett stronghold there. On the way to the marked nav point, Jaal and Liam both noted the ride on the Nomad was too quiet. No music blaring from the speakers, and Sara wasn’t singing for them.

Jaal grew more concerned, at this point thinking he might be the problem. Initially he’d thought that maybe she was having second thoughts about their friendship, maybe she’d gotten tired of expressing herself and he’d exhausted her. He didn’t want this to be true, he yearned for the root of her problem to be something else–anything but him. After they’d grown so close, the thought of rejection distressed him. It was...difficult, not bringing his concerns forward to her, simply thinking to give her some space.

Then again, he reasoned in an attempt to comfort himself, she had been keeping to herself since their last visit to the Nexus. Everyone had been commenting on it while she was out of earshot. No. It wasn’t him then, it couldn’t be. Something happened that day at the Nexus and she was refusing to speak of it to anyone, always insisting that she was fine.

Regardless of the uncomfortable silence, they still went over the attack plan again and soon found themselves raiding the weakened kett fortress. Ryder was more aggressive than usual in her combat, Jaal noted. Though she wasn’t afraid of charging into battle, this time around she seemed to almost relish in getting up close and personal with the kett. Rage was written all over her battle cries, biotic blasts and shotgun shots. Any other day he would say she was a sight to behold, a goddess of the battlefield. Today was not one of those days. There was an erratic and almost reckless pattern to her attacks, and Jaal found himself hyper vigilant of her, fearful she might seriously get hurt.

Soon enough they found themselves deep inside the stronghold, so close to the Invictor’s lair.

“Alright, we’re cornering that asshole. Let's keep the others from doing the same to us–” Liam had begun reviewing their strategy when Sara began crackling with unreleased biotic energy. “Ryder? What are you–”

Before Liam could finish or Jaal could protest, Sara gave a loud, raging scream and surged forward quickly in a powerful Charge, disappearing in an electric blue blur. She slammed into an Anointed kett, the blast from her attack throwing it and all others in the periphery flying through the air, slamming against walls and some not even getting back up.

“What is she doing?!” Liam yelled, going after Ryder with Jaal closely flanking him.

“I suspect Ryder isn’t in the best mental state to battle,” Jaal commented loudly, carefully aiming his shots while also making haste after Ryder before she hurt herself. “Something is wrong with her.”

“Yeah no kidding, she’s been weird for a while now,” Liam huffed, running alongside Jaal, the next hallway cleared of enemies thanks to Ryder’s violent outburst. “Man she’s fast!”

The Pathfinder left a trail of destruction behind her, booms of biotic explosions heard in the distance. Both Jaal and Liam knew that abusing her biotics could overload her implant and exhaust her. From the looks of how fast she was blasting through the kett, she was bound to fatigue herself quickly.

“Jaal, Liam, please help her,” SAM was the one to speak over their comms now. “She is refusing to listen to me. I fear her erratic behavior could result in serious injury. Ryder is abusing her biotics. Please.”

There was almost a plea to SAM’s tone, one could even say it sounded like fear. Jaal could only imagine that for SAM it must feel like he was trapped in Ryder’s body and only being able to watch helplessly if she got hurt.

Jaal nodded, realizing then that SAM wouldn’t see that and quickly added, “We’re on our way, SAM. Liam, quickly!” he rushed his friend, running faster still while remaining cautious of any kett still alive.

“She has found the Invictor,” SAM announced over the comms.

“Almost there!” Liam announced, quickly checking the nav point SAM had set up for Sara’s location.

Soon enough they found her facing off by herself against the Invictor. Both of them quickly set to helping her, SAM reminding them that she was starting to exhaust herself. Jaal tried to keep close to her but she made it difficult, constantly moving from cover to cover and charging against the Invictor whenever she had the chance, getting up close and personal when their shields broke down.

Thankfully, the Pathfinder team soon gained the upper hand, Liam and Jaal laying heavy fire against the Invictor’s shield and Ryder getting up close with her biotics flaring and shotgun ablaze.

Just when it seemed they were about to win, Sara’s shields broke down and she took a hit, crashing into the ground. She heaved, biotics briefly crackling around her before she let out a pained yelp, a hand coming up to the back of her head. Wincing, she tried to crawl out of the way and into cover. Jaal panicked, having been hidden in his tactical cloak and firing from a safe distance. Without thinking, almost as if it was second nature to him, he sprinted towards her just as the Invictor was about to discharge its massive area attack. He lunged for her just as his tactical cloak expired, easily scooping her up by the waist and jumping out of the way just in time, the Invictor’s attack crackling on his heels. Landing on his back, he held Sara close to him as they rolled on the floor and came to a stop when they crashed against a wall.

Sara shook her head, trying to find her bearings just as Jaal was giving her a quick once over, checking for injuries. There was no time for questions, Jaal found himself on his feet once more, taking the chance that Liam had just taken a good shot at the Invictor’s shield and disabled it once more. With his careful and deadly precise aim, he fixed his scope on the Invictor’s head and took a shot, green splattering up through the air, the kett’s lifeless body dropping to its knees.

“Holy shit…” Liam jogged up to Jaal and Sara, trying to catch his breath. “That was a close one…”

Meanwhile, Jaal had promptly holstered his rifle and turned to Sara, helping her to her feet. Now, with no danger to their lives, he inspected her more carefully before she waved him away, an annoyed glint in her green eyes.

“Sara?” he asked, concern heavy in his tone. Wide, light blue eyes followed her as she walked around him and Liam. “Are you well? Did you injure yourself?”

“I’m fine,” she replied, the same response she constantly gave lately whenever someone asked how she was holding up. Sara refused to look at him or Liam in the eye, instead beginning to walk away. “Just overcharged my implant a tad, nothing serious.”

“Yeah, what the hell, Ryder?” Liam bounded after her as they began tracing their steps out of the stronghold. “I mean, cool, you really laid it on them but that was really risky, even for me. You left us in the dust–”

“Okay, sorry, sorry!” she huffed in annoyance, frowning and holding her hands up defensively. Letting out a frustrated breath and removing her helmet, she went on, “I just...wanted to be over with this as fast as possible. I won’t do it again. Now let’s drop it and go back to the ship, alright?”

Jaal and Liam looked at each other with concern, neither trusting what she said. Clearly she was still hiding something and whatever it was, it was bothering her to the point that it was affecting her performance and endangering her life. Jaal inwardly sighed, trying to think on how he would attempt to get her to finally speak on what was going on with her, or at least stop denying that she was fine. He missed his dear friend and he would only be consumed by guilt if he did nothing while she so obviously suffered.

As expected, Lexi heavily questioned her and chastised her for putting her life in danger like she did. Her implant was fine but she had overcharged it, so for now it was best to rest. Good, she could easily sleep for a week if only her mind let her.

“I’m fine…” Sara said when Lexi asked again once she finished the examination and gave her some meds.

“You keep saying that but no one is actually believing it anymore, you know?” Lexi shook her head, taking a step back and leaning against the free cot. Staring at Ryder, she tried to relax her posture, trying to seem more welcoming. “Sara, you know we all care about you, right? But we can’t help you if you close on yourself like you’re doing.”

Sara sighed and rolled her shoulders, forcing herself to meet Lexi’s gaze. “I know...I guess, I’ve just been more tired lately, I–”

“Sara,” Lexi interrupted her, giving her a look that clearly stated she didn’t believe her. “You’ve been acting differently since...Well, since you spoke with Julian Scott through his SAM implant.”

Sara fell quiet for a moment, gaze falling to the floor. So, people were starting to connect the dots? Great, she thought, fearful of truly speaking of what had transpired. “I already told you, we just...talked a bit about what had happened,” she retorted, avoiding her gaze and biting down on her lower lip anxiously. “It was just stressful, okay? I just...I just want him back with me. I miss him…”

Lexi nodded and pushed herself away from the cot. She’d heard that before and she knew that wasn’t the entirety of it. “Would you like to talk more about it? Between having your twin still in a coma and all the responsibilities you have...I know it can’t be easy, Sara. It can be extremely overwhelming.”

Sara tensed at the invitation to talk more. A part of her screamed at her to just get it over it and let someone, anyone, know the cruel lies she had told her brother, to expose herself as a selfish liar. Yet, that other part of her held fast to her, cowered in fear in a corner, trembled at the thought of exposing herself as a liar, as a weakling, as someone who was barely holding it together since her father died.

“Sara?”

Lexi’s voice brought her back out of her thoughts and she realized she’d stared off. Worse than that, her heart was hammering fast against her chest, tears threatening to spill from her eyes.

“Not today, Lexi, honestly–” she hurriedly said and jumped down from the cot, making a beeline for the med bay’s door. “–I’m just really, really tired today after that whole...mess. Tomorrow...I promise, tomorrow we can talk.”

Though she sighed, Lexi nodded. That was truly the most progress they’d made in talking in the last two weeks. At least now she was admitting there was more to speak of instead of denying it. “Alright, Sara. Tomorrow.”

With that, Sara walked the short distance to her room, closing the door behind her. Plopping face down on her bed, she let out a frustrated groan. She had really messed up today. Not only had she endangered herself, she’d highly distressed SAM and put Jaal and Liam in danger as well. Reaching for her pillow, she screamed into it, hoping to spit out all the self-loathing that was eating at her psyche since she lied to Julian. Hoping to stop worrying whether she was living up to the Pathfinder title, to stop the hurt in her heart over her father’s death, still so fresh in her mind despite being months old by now.

With a huff she flipped over, glaring up at the ceiling, refusing to cry. She would be strong, she had to be. There was no choice, she pondered, her crew needed a leader not a weeping baby.

‘Sara...I believe Lexi may be right, talking about your feelings and concerns can help,’ SAM spoke through their private channel.

Closing her eyes, she let out a deep breath. ‘No offense, SAM, but you’re learning about emotions through your experience with me, right?’ she replied in her mind. ‘How do you know it would help?’

For a moment he was silent and Sara had to admit, she was mildly impressed by how SAM seemed to be slowly developing his personality, even taking the time to process his thoughts. ‘When you thought Jaal might stay in Aya, your physical manifestations of your worry, namely your vital signs, markedly stabilized when Jaal admitted he would like to remain with your crew.’

‘Okay but I wasn’t exactly talking about my feelings was I?’

‘I wasn’t done, Sara,’ SAM interrupted her. ‘Similarly, in your time getting to know Jaal and sharing thoughts and concerns with him, your vital signs and your mood respond accordingly, in a positive manner. Though it mildly distressed you, you responded positively when Jaal comforted you when you admitted you are currently alone, without family present.’

Oh Jaal...Even she had to admit, SAM had a point, she just didn’t want to admit he did. She’d neglected her dear friend lately, her...crush. One would think she had stopped liking him by how distant she’d become in the last two weeks. It broke her heart and it only added another worry to her growing list–she wasn’t sure he would forgive her if she tried talking to him again like they did. Perhaps she could–

‘No,’ she fought against her own thought. ‘Jaal doesn’t need me bothering him with this...SAM, I don’t deserve him, I’ve...I’m not a good friend, I’ve neglected him…’

‘I have to disagree. Jaal has constantly asked about your well-being,’ SAM replied. ‘He might be the best person to speak with, he would not judge your feelings, Sara. I believe he would understand.’

Sara was about to respond when her door chime resonated in her room. Sitting up, she glanced at SAM’s orb over on the desk.

‘It is Jaal,’ SAM announced in their channel. ‘Shall I let him in?’

Sara simply gaped at the door for a moment before she nodded, clearing her throat and coming to a stand. ‘Sure...let him in.’

The door swooshed open and Sara was beginning to regret it–she wasn’t sure she wanted to face Jaal right now. She hadn’t finished considering what she wanted to do and anxiety was starting to claw at her.

“Hey,” she greeted him, forcing a smile. “What’s up?”

“Sara,” Jaal replied in turn, brow pulled close with concern. The door closed behind him and he fidgeted with a small package held in his hand, opting to hide it under his rofjinn. He was used to some of her common expressions by now so he knew she didn’t mean what was literally ‘up’. Instead, he offered a concerned gaze, eyes soft and welcoming. For a moment he hesitated but pressed on, “I...don’t know how else to ask it but...I’m concerned about you. Are you...sure you’re alright? I was really worried about you today, at the stronghold–”

“Jaal, please stop,” Sara interrupted him, groaning but inwardly screaming, regretting everything she would say. Yet, she was terrified of opening up about what was eating at her, truly paralyzed, thus she reacted defensively. The frustration built up, dared to break the dam that was holding all of her emotions and concerns in the back of her mind. In not deciding what she wanted to do, she instead began lashing out. There was an anger that seemed directed at Jaal and her crew but only she knew it was truly aimed at herself. Lexi almost got her to talk, now Jaal was threatening to have her spill her feelings forth. “God, everyone keeps asking, it’s...starting to get annoying. Yeah, I rushed into the stronghold like crazy–”

Jaal interceded, tone deep and unwavering, unknowingly repeating what Lexi had said, “You’ve been acting differently since the last time we were at the Nexus.”

Sara gave him an incredulous look. No, not incredulity, shock. Shocked that he was just as observant as her physician. He was worried, so worried but she couldn’t put this baggage on him, wouldn’t let him see her be weak...could she? “What? No! I haven’t–Just, stop alright. Lexi’s already all up in arms about it. I’m fine, Jaal, just–”

“Sara, we haven’t actually spoken, not truly since that day. I’m worried–” Jaal insisted, taking a step closer to her, frowning with concern now. True to his word, angara did speak their minds when something was bothering them.

“Just stop, Jaal, stop already!” Sara cut him off roughly and his eyes widened in shock. “How many times do I have to say I’m fine? Stop badgering me! I’m so fuckin’ tired of everyone asking me the same shit!” she regretted the words the moment they left her mouth. Slowly, her face contorted in anger, softened into one of shock and regret, slapping a hand over her mouth and avoiding Jaal’s eyes. It was a mistake to dare herself to look up at him, the hurt in those beautiful electric blue eyes sunk her heart to her stomach, made her sick of herself.

He opened and closed his mouth several times, stammering on how to respond. Pulling his gaze from hers, he turned away. “I...I apologize, Ryder, I’ll...I’m sorry, truly. I’ll leave you be…” his tone was wavering, lips quivering as his eyes threatened to spill tears forth.

Jaal was walking towards her door, when something inside her just broke through, unable to hold back any longer. Having seen the deep hurt in Jaal’s gaze had been the final hit it took to break the dam holding back all the feelings she’d been holding back since Habitat 7’s disaster. The use of her last name instead of her name or nickname had stung more than she thought it would. A sob suddenly wracked through her and Jaal instantly turned, eyes wide in alarm. Quickly he ran back towards her when she shakily fell down to her knees, heaving in desperate breaths as she wept her heart out.

“Ari! Should I–” he gasped out her nickname and dropped to his knees before her, holding her by her upper arms.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m–I’m so sorry, I didn’t–didn’t mean to hurt you!” her shoulders shook as she managed to speak in between her violent sobbing. “I’m not fine! I haven’t...Jaal...I...I…”

“I’m here, Ariadne…Come here.” he pulled her into his arms, a hand soothingly running up and down her back. “Let it out…Don’t talk right now, just let it out…”

“Please don’t leave…! Please...I’m...you’re my friend...please…” she wept, hiccuping in between and buried her face in his shoulder, gripping tightly onto his rofjinn. It was like she feared that if she let him go he would be gone forever. Yet, he was here, he was holding her, comforting her...

“I’m staying, Ariadne,” he reassured her, continuing his soothing motions, bringing a hand up to her head, patting her hair lightly.

For a while she continued crying freely, eventually allowing Jaal to walk her to the couch. There he sat her and continued holding her close, pulling her legs across his lap.

“My dearest, my dear Ariadne, you will be alright,” Jaal spoke against her hair, a hand soothingly rubbing up and down her forearm. After a few moments, he pulled back just slightly to place a finger under her chin, tipping it up to meet her red and puffy eyes, tears streaking down her cheeks. “This pain will pass, and I am here to aid you through this my dearest…” he reassured her, a soft and soothing tone to his deep baritone voice. Softly, he cupped her cheek, thumb softly wiping away tears as they fell.

“Jaal...You’re too...good to me…” she began taking measured breaths, her sobbing more controlled now. Only silent tears continued to fall as she leaned into his touch.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” he replied, tone free of judgement despite her earlier outburst.

“I...neglected you these last two weeks…” she sniffed, leaning into his shoulder, a hand idly fixing the collar of his rofjinn. “And...I yelled at you...I shouldn’t have, I’m so sorry...I just...reacted badly, I think my mind was begging me to talk but another part of me was afraid of talking it out...Still, that doesn’t excuse my...actions...I apologize…”

“Apology accepted,” he said, holding her gaze. “But I’m not angry...I knew something was wrong...If you don’t feel like telling me yet, however–

“Jaal...I lied to Julian...I lied to my twin…” she hurriedly admitted just to get it out of the way now that he’d seen her break down. Gulping hard, afraid to be judged for it, she went on, “I told him...told him dad’s alive...and that Habitat 7...was being colonized...Fuck’s sake, I’m the worst sister...God, I thought...Thought it would...be best...to keep him calm...I thought it would aid his recovery but...Jaal, when he wakes up…”

“Oh Ariadne…” he breathed out, understanding written all over his gaze. Now it all made sense to him. Though angara valued honesty, he could see why she lied, even if it was clearly a mistake, one she had to face when her brother awoke. “Ari, he’s your twin...If your brother is anything like you, I’m sure he will understand. Even if it will surely hurt to know the truth...I can also imagine how terrible it must be, knowing something so heart wrenching while being unable to move or wake or...” he sighed, shaking his head at the thought, his heart heavy for Julian. “You couldn’t know how he would have reacted either…”

“That’s...That’s what I thought,” her shoulders shook and she sniffed, trying to keep herself calm. She wiped at her face and rubbed at her nose, breathing through her mouth by how stuffy her nose had gotten. SAM was right; there was an awful reality she had to face still, but she did feel better talking about this. “I still regret it though...I regretted it the moment I said it but...it was too late...The connection was done before I could say anything else.”

“My dearest Ariadne, if I had known sooner…” he let out a swift breath through his nose, softly stroking her hair, tucking a strand behind her ear. “From now on, I want you to know I am here for you, anything you need...You can tell me anything you wish to, I will not judge you…Not when you care so much about how you might have hurt your brother.”

Her lower lip quivered while she looked up at him with teary eyes, threatening to keep crying. Wiping at her eyes, she leaned against his shoulder. “Oh Jaal...I’m so foolish, I should have told you sooner…”

“Don’t say that, you are not foolish,” a light rumble reverberated through his chest, lightly chastising her for insulting herself. He grew quiet once more, allowing her the space to talk her mind at her own pace if she so wished it. Jaal seemed simply glad she was once more freely expressing herself again–even if it had involved crying. At least, he thought, she was comfortable enough around him that she expressed such strong emotions before him, and allowed him to comfort her.

Sara let out a shaky breath, suddenly feeling tired from their earlier battle and now having bawled her eyes out. Still, she found herself willing to speak more, feeling like she hadn’t talked–actually talked–with Jaal in ages. Eating, bathing and sleeping could wait for now. “I guess everything just suddenly felt...overwhelming. Too many things have been happening too fast, I...I just don’t think I’ve even processed dad’s death properly...And then there’s the role I’m trying to fill…” she paused, looking down at her hands, fidgeting with the hem Jaal’s rofjinn. “There’s so many things, Jaal...I think...I think lying to Julian just...it was my breaking point so I just...closed off…I wanted to seem strong...For you, for the whole crew...”

“But you were strong before this and you still are,” Jaal reassured her, taking one of her hands in his and giving it a light squeeze, catching her gaze once more. “You have learned from your mistakes and acknowledged when you’ve made them…” A sympathetic smile grazed his lips, adoration in his starry blue eyes. “You are doing great things, Sara Ariadne Ryder, and I admire you for it.”

Sara had looked up at him, feeling her cheeks burn when he took hold of her hand. Her mind tried to reason that it meant nothing, that angara were just very expressive and unafraid of showing those expressions in a physical manner. Still, she found herself endeared by the action and his words, seemingly always knowing what to say. “I am not my dad though…” A sigh parted her lips and she gazed towards the N7 helmet on her desk, a reminder of what she’d lost, a motivation to keep fighting. “I can’t live up to how great he was at...everything…I know things would be flowing much better if he was still here…” she lamented.

“Perhaps,” Jaal pondered quietly, following her gaze before turning his full attention back to her. “But...perhaps not...We have no way of knowing how things would have turned out instead. What I do know it that you have held your ground against people who did not believe you could succeed. And you have succeeded against all odds...I think you are doing a fine job...And I don’t pretend to know your father but...I believe he would be proud of what you have achieved against all odds…”

“Gods…Are you real?” she finally let out a small, nasal laugh, rubbing her nose as she did so. “How did I end up with such a good friend like you, Jaal Ama Darav?”

“I should be asking you the same thing,” he grinned widely, visibly pleased with her small laugh. Rubbing small circles on the back of her hand, he asked in earnest, “How are you feeling?”

“Tired but...better. Relieved I finally just...let that out,” she admitted. Sara then curled into him, wrapping her arms around his thick neck and hugging him in earnest, feeling him return the gesture. “Thank you, Jaal...You’re the best…”

Jaal smiled, pleased with the softness of her hair against his cheek and cowl. “Oh! I nearly forgot,” he pulled away and gently removed her legs from across his lap, coming to a stand. Striding towards the door, he bent down to pick the small package he had been holding earlier. Looking almost bashfully, he walked back over to her and presented it to her. “I made something for you.”

“Jaal, come on,” Sara stared up at him, mouth agape. A pang of guilt pulled at her heart, feeling awful for her earlier outburst when this man had come to visit her bearing a gift for her.  “Jaal, I’ve done nothing to deserve it...especially not after these last two weeks...Especially after how I snapped at you earlier...” she pouted, glancing away, rubbing at her upper arms anxiously.

“My dear Sara Ariadne, I knew something was wrong with you, I just...didn’t know how to get you to speak of it. I thought you might appreciate this small gesture, even if you didn’t talk to me about what bothered you,” he said in earnest, sitting next to her and placing the neatly wrapped package in her lap.

Sara couldn’t hold back from smiling warmly at him, she only regretted having been so distant lately with him but she was eternally grateful for his patience with her. Silently she promised herself she would be more forthcoming with him, even if it was something negative bothering her, even if she thought he might judge her...Maybe the angara way of being honest and expressive of their true feelings was truly better, allowing less room for misunderstandings.

Setting her thoughts aside, Sara finally set to opening the package, undoing the bow carefully and unwrapping what was inside. A gasp left her breathless, her face lighting up like it hadn’t in awhile, holding up a beautiful scarf. It was a deep purple color, interspersed with delicate flowery patterns (some from Earth, others she recognized from Aya), and its edge adorned with small tassels. And soft, oh so soft and warm, so much so that she pressed it eagerly to her face, only her excited but puffy eyes staring lovingly at Jaal.

“Jaal! It’s beautiful! I…I love it…” Still sensitive about her emotional breakdown, she almost couldn’t take the beautiful gesture this wonderful man had bestowed upon her. If she didn’t like him before, she was entirely sure she was truly falling for him now. Yet, it didn’t prevent the tears from escaping her eyes once more.

“Ariadne!” Jaal gasped, tone full with worry as he turned towards her, a hand on her back, soothing. “I can change it, I’m sorry, I–”

“They’re happy tears, Jaal…” she was quick to reassure him, laughing lightly and glancing up at him, smiling. “Thank you...Come here you…” she pulled him tight into another hug then.

“Oh...I’m glad then...I’m really glad,” Jaal chuckled, returning her hug and patting her back lightly. On her suggestion, he helped her put on the scarf. Deft hands adjusted it until her neck was completely covered, draping the fabric across her shoulders and framing her oval face beautifully. Warmly he smiled at her. “It suits you.”

Sara blushed at that, pulling the scarf closer to her face. With lighthearted laugh, she said in jest, “Now I’ll whine less when we’re in Voeld.”

They spent the rest of the evening idly talking, almost as if they were catching up after time apart, despite having been on the same ship the whole time. Truly, they were both glad they were on good terms again, with promises made of not being afraid to rely on one another, to be forthcoming and honest, even when things could seem to be set against them. For Sara there were still difficult matters she had to face head on, but for now she truly knew Jaal would be there for her despite all odds, just as she would for him.

[chansoolove6112]

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