#otp: hanger Husbands

[flashbang-througthe-door]

Name: Redacted

Call sign: Bravo 0.2

Nickname: Bravo, Vent Rat, Gremlin

Job: Mechanic, Soldier, Undercover, Pilot

Significant other: Nikolai

Bundle: Vent Rat

Guns/Weapons: A Cor-45 silenced and with armor piercing rounds, a hammer and a wrench, all with a dark green skin on it

Bundle skin: Vent Rat((Normally having a backwards baseball cap too))

[flashbang-througthe-door]

Hanger Husbands ft Friends

Blade Price owned by @shadowssniper

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Bravo: Hey Nikolai,

Nikolai: Yes?

Bravo: Can a person breathe inside a washing machine while it’s on?

Nikolai:

Nikolai: Where’s Blade?

Bravo: Do you ever want to talk about your emotions, Nikolai?

Nikolai: … No.

Blade: I do!

Bravo: I know, Blade.

Blade: I’m sad!

Bravo: I know, Blade.

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Blade: Are you the big spoon or the little spoon?

Bravo: I'm a knife.

Nikolai, from across the room: They're the little spoon

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Bravo: How's the sexiest person here~?

Nikolai: I don't know, how are they~?

Bravo, flustered: I-

Blade, from across the room: I'm doing great, thanks!

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Bravo: Nikolai and I were crossing the street, and this dude drove by and honked at us

Blade: *Sighing* What did Nikolai do?

Bravo: They chased him to the next red light, then reached into his window and...

Nikolai: Who wants a steering wheel?

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Bravo: Welcome, fellow idiots

Nikolai: Hello, Bravo

Bravo: No, no, not you, you're not an idiot

Nikolai: You underestimate me

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Price: How did none of you hear what I just said?

Bravo: I’ve been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.

Gaz: I got distracted about halfway through.

Nikolai: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

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Gaz: I like your top, Bravo!

Nikolai: I have a name, you know.

Bravo: *sighs* Why. Why are you like this.

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Nikolai: Where are you going?

Bravo: To get MYSELF a gift cause somebody didn't get me one!

Nikolai: I told you I did! Its coming here on Friday!

Gaz, knowing full well that Nikolai got Bravo an engagement ring: *eating popcorn*

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Gaz: The best part of an oreo is the cookie part, not the frosting. Deal with it.

Nikolai: Darkness without light is an abyss. Light without darkness is blinding. You cannot have a coin with one side.

Bravo: YO SOCRATES! IT'S A FUCKING COOKIE!

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Price: Repeat that

Bravo: Si-

Price: SIX MONTHS YOU'VE BEEN HIDING IN HIS VENTS

Nikolai: Sounds like you need someone in your vent

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Bravo: *heading out to see Nikolai*

Soap: Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!

Bravo: I think I crossed that line when I got a date.

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Bravo: I'm so happy, I could kiss you!

Nikolai: Um...Neat.

*later*

Nikolai, lying face down on their bed: I said "Neat," Soap. Who the fuck says neat these days? It's not neat to say neat but I said it anyways because I'm fucking stupid.

Soap, reading a book: Don't beat yourself up too much, Nikolai. Everyone gets nervous sometimes. Remember what I did when Graves confessed their love for me?

Nikolai: Didn't you thank them?

Soap: *closes the book and looks at the ceiling* I fucking thanked them.

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Bravo: I love you.

Nikolai: I love you too. I've waited so long to hear you say that.

*Bravo and Nikolai kiss passionately*

Soap, to Graves: You owe me 20 dollars.

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Bravo: Hey Graves, wanna third wheel on my date with Nikolai tomorrow?

Graves: Sure.

Bravo: Soap! Wanna third wheel on my date with Nikolai tomorrow?

Bravo: Great! I've always wanted to go on a double date!

Graves & Soap: ...

Nikolai: Bravo...

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Nikolai: Bravo! I can't do this stupid math!

Bravo: What’s the math problem?

Nikolai: Well, we have to add the bed, subtract the clothes divide the legs, and hope we don’t multiply.

Graves, covering Soap's ears, while Bravo smacks Nikolai upside the head: Not going to lie that was hella smooth.

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Graves: I sleep with a gun under my pillow.

Soap: I sleep with a knife.

Bravo: Both of you are pathetic.

Graves: Oh yeah? What do you sleep with?

Bravo: Nikolai.

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Graves: How do I ask someone out?

Nikolai: Roses are red, violets are blue, guess what, my bed has room for two.

Graves: No!

Soap: Twinkle twinkle little star, we can do it in a car.

Graves: Stop!

Bravo: Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream, merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily I can make you scream.

Graves: I feel like the last one is verging dangerously into serial killer territory.

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Soap: *sees Bravo and Nikolai together*

Soap: They're cute. I would put them on a boat.

Graves: You mean... you ship them?

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Nikolai: What’s the announcement, Bravo?

Bravo: It’s a lecture. Graves’s gonna tell us everything they know about sex.

Soap: It should be an enjoyable 60 seconds.

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Soap: I never said I was gonna get back together with them. But I was thinking, they're in town, would it be the worst thing in the world if I gave them a call?

Bravo: No. No, Soap, it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. It would be the fourth worst thing. Number one: a super volcano. Number two: an asteroid hits the Earth. Number three: All the Evel Knievel movies are lost. Number four: Soap calls Graves. Number five: Nikolai gets eaten by a shark.

Nikolai: I’m Nikolai, and I approve the order of that list.

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Bravo: Nikolai is too tall for me to kiss them on the lips. What should I do?

Graves: Punch them in the stomach. Then, when they double over in pain, kiss them.

Price: Tackle them!

Gaz: Dump them.

Soap: Kick them in the shin!

Nikolai: No to all of those! Just ask me to lean down!!

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Bravo: I put the pun in punishment.

Soap: I put the top in unstoppable.

Price: I put the cute in execute.

Gaz: I put the sexy in dyslexia.

Graves: I put the ass in class.

Nikolai: I put the D in Bravo.

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Nikolai to Soap, who’s about to get married: Today, two families are becoming one.

Graves, in an ominous voice: Two families enter, one family leaves.

Price: That sounds so threatening…

Bravo, who is also getting married: The Wedding Games…

Gaz: May the bouquet toss be ever in your favor.

Soap: Beautiful.

Nikolai: Fuck all of you!

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Graves: Just be yourself.

Nikolai: Really? Graves, I have one day to win over Bravo’s parents.

Nikolai: How long did it take for you guys to like me?

Blade: Couple of weeks.

Soap: Six months.

Price: Jury’s still out.

Nikolai: See Graves? ‘Just be yourself,’ what kind of garbage advice is that?!

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(Platonic)

Blade: If I fall…

Bravo: I’ll be there to catch you.

Soap: *looks at Price* What if I fall?

Price: Then I’ll fall with you, never leaving your side.

Graves: *watches these two interactions*

Graves, to Nikolai: And if I fall?

Nikolai: I’ll be the one who pushed you.

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