#otp: gomez and morticia but worse

[ineffably-human]

Guillermo, pining in London: Nadja, you didn't marry Laszlo until a long time after you turned him, right? How did you know he was the one you wanted to spend eternity with?

Nadja: Well, I hypnotized my Laszlo to let me into the room and his bed, and afterwards I knew I wanted to get some of that again, if you know what I mean, so I made him a vampire-

Guillermo: Wow. Consent is - okay. Go on.

Nadja: And when he asked why he did not remember some bits I said well, I used hypnosis on you, and he said 'no you did not. Hypnosis is not real, it is a parlor trick.'

Guillermo: But you're -

Nadja: I am speaking, Guillermo! And when I said 'but I am a vampire, I have just made you a vampire, here, I will show you how to become a bat,' he says, 'excuse me, if a flying raven-haired temptress came to my window to make me an unholy creature of the nights, I have let her in myself because that sounds like a jolly good time, I do not fall for this mumbo jumbo superstition.'

Guillermo: That's...sort of romantic.

Nadja: I hypnotized someone in front of him and he said I had done it with mirrors. We fought for hours, and then had very good makeup sex for hours. (happy sigh) That was our third date. And that is when I knew.

Guillermo: Wait, because of the arguing or the makeup sex?

Nadja: Never fall in love, Guillermo, because men are idiots. But if you do it is the ones you want to strangle who are the keepers.

[storyweaverofgondor]

You and me, me and you… loving the whump. Being whump twins. I’m simply going to ask you to answer…

ALL OF THE QUESTIONS

XD *Rubs hands together excitedly* Yes, lets do this!

What are your favorite whump tropes?: captured/ kidnapped whumpee is rescued and get cuddles after getting the snot beaten out of them.

Do you prefer illness whump or injury whump?: Injury Whump!

Do you prefer whump in the form of writing or visual media?: Both are good! My fave episodes and moments in movies and TV are the one with Whump.

Do you prefer physical whump or emotional/psychological whump?: Physical or a combination.

Who is your favorite whumpee?: Hiccup Horrendous Haddock. Thanks to @evilwriter37

What are the traits of your ideal whumpee?: Sassy defiant Boi. It's about that sweet sweet break.

What are the traits of your ideal whumper?: Arrogent sadistic creepy prick. Good whumpers need to have a superiority complex so wide you get lost in it.

What are the traits of your ideal caregiver?: The care part. The healing part isn't as good if the caregiver isn't the writer OTP, either romantic or platonic.

Which archetype do you identify with the most: the whumpee, the whumper, or the caregiver?: I don't quite understand the question but i prefer whump stories told from the whumpee's perspective.

When did you first realize you were into whump?: it was a good while back. I think i've always liked it but i just didn't know the word for it.

How and when did you discover the whump community?: There a community???! *Spins around searching frantically under rocks* Where you hiding?!! I want in!

Why do you love whump?: What's not to love? You break your favorite character in the most creative and debauched ways. They are Gomez and you are Morticia. It's so deliciously fun to be a little cackling goblin.

Have you ever felt insecure because you enjoy whump? How did you overcome that insecurity?: I was never 'insecure', technically. I just never knew how to explain it. I still don't but i don't hide it anymore either.

What are your least favorite whump tropes?: anything involving periods, poop or pee. XP BLEGH! No, thank you. I can understand why people would right it, weather it's kinky or medical related. But I'm never going to read that. Also no animals or pets. Not happening.

Are you interested in any niche whump genres, such as fem!whump or non-human whump?: not so into fem!whump. not sure why it just feels . . . too personal??? i don't know how to explain it. And non-human . . . hmm . . . No animals or pets. But a story where the whumpee is like a mermaid or some other mythological creature sounds quite fun.

Do you have any whump media recommendations (whump blogs, books, movies, etc.)?: @evilwriter37 writes the best How to train your dragon whump, Rose de Sharon's Pirate's of the Caribbean story a cry in the darkness has some awesome Will Turner whump, Supernatural for the first few years was basically just endless back and forth whump and comfort with Sam and Dean. hell_half_acre also writes some great stories with some good whump.

When was the last time you got the whumperflies?: I . . . don't know what that means???

What whump content are you currently craving?: Anakin Skywalker Whump! Jim Lake Jr Whump! Rusty Whump! Jim Kirk Whump! I just want more whumps of my faves!

Who are your favorite whump bloggers? Tag them!: @evilwriter37 I . . . don't really know any others I'm sorry to say.

How are you doing today, buddy?: Been better but also worse. Bit bored too.

[dragons-bones]

ALL OF THEM ANSWER ALL OF THEM I MUST KNOW

*rolls up sleeves* ALL RIGHT HERE WE GO

OTP Questions: Aymeric de Borel & Synnove Greywolfe

1. Who likes to nuzzle their head into their partner’s chest?

Synnove! As anyone who personally knows her can tell you, in private she’s a huge cuddlebug, and when she’s tired enough, “public” isn’t a good enough excuse to not. When she’s feeling particularly cruddy, she’ll mash her face into Aymeric’s chest and attempt to pull a reverse chest-burster. Just. Aggressive snuggling. Cuddle me damnit.

Aymeric loves it, of course, and will wrap his arms around her tightly and prop his chin on her head.

2. How many and what colors are the blankets they like to snuggle in?

To the surprise of absolutely no one, blue and green feature a lot in their choice of bedclothes, but there’s also black, white, grey, and one really old lavender throw that’s so old it looks grey but is ridiculously soft. Aymeric and Synnove will fight over who gets that one.

If they’re going for a good ol’ fashioned couch fort snuggle, the answer to “how many” is “all of them.” Couch fort construction requires as many blankets as possible, and then of course you have to line your nest until everything is soft and cloudlike.

On their actual bed, there’s usually one very heavy down comforter with a few blankets on top (Borel Manor) or just the comforter (Synnove’s house in La Noscea). As the carbuncles frequently join the cuddle pile on the bed, and Ivar is a miniature furnace by himself, you don’t need as many blankets as you think to sleep comfortably.

3. Who runs up and hugs their partner and who stands arms wide open to catch their partner?

Synnove is the former and Aymeric the latter for sure. And Synnove is legging it, and she isn’t slowing down. Aymeric, thankfully, may not look like it, but is in fact built like a brick wall (he’s a tank, he’s got muscles, fight me), so he only stumbles one step back before he’s swinging Synnove around and they’re both laughing like a huge pair of dorks.

4. Who would be more likely to get matching scarves for themselves and their partner?

Honestly, both of them. They’re that couple. Synnove probably goes to Aunt Angharad for a set of blue scarves, Aymeric goes to Heron for green ones. Aunt Angharad and Heron meet up for tea and exchange exasperated “they are adorable and disgusting” looks while Rereha gags in the background to disguise the fact she is internally blubbering over how cute they are.

Angharad adds wolves to the blue scarves, Heron adds the Borel crest to the green ones. Yes, Synnove and Aymeric are mutually delighted and regularly rotate which ones they use, even when work keeps them apart.

5. Would they much rather go on a romantic date or a laid back date? Explain why.

Laid back. Synnove is a Warrior of Light and Vice Chair of the Arcanists’ Guild Aetherophysics Department, Aymeric is Lord Commander of the Temple Knights and Lord Speaker of the House of Lords of Ishgard. They are workaholics, but even they recognize when they’re approaching burnout (or at least, their friends do, and lock them out of their offices). Romantic dates are fun, but laid back ones are much less stressful, and if one or both of them accidentally end up dozing off, it’s less likely to mean the food burns.

6. Who still gets butterflies after years of dating?

Oh, please, what a silly question, both of them! As @stars-bleed-hearts-shine once put it, I write them as Gomez and Morticia Addams! I commissioned ART of them as such! Alternatively, they are also Rick O’Connell and Evelyn Carnahan.

Basically: ridiculously, stupidly in love with one another no matter how many years go by.

7. Who is the one who makes their partner laugh so much that their face hurts?

Synnove is usually the one making Aymeric lose it, even (or especially) when she isn’t trying. The sheer nonsense she experiences in both academia and regularly saving the world is literally unbelievable. Then you add in five carbuncles, with the two youngest ones bound and determined to break physics every other day which has forced Synnove to start rolling with the punches or be stuck in a perpetual Blue Screen of Death.

Aymeric might not entirely understand all of Synnove’s aetherophysics babble when she really gets going, but he can appreciate her exasperation.

8. How would each of them explain how they met?

@aethernoise since she slid this into my inbox, too. :D

I don’t think either of them would call it love at first sight, though both will certainly admit they were attracted to one another. And neither would really call the whole situation favorable circumstances: it was a political meeting and Aymeric was essentially having to parrot the official party line for Ishgard right before having to spin things around to get Ishgard favors from the Scions. Aymeric is very much of the opinion that it wasn’t the best first impression, and he’s sometimes surprised Synnove still reacted so well to his overtures of friendship (and then romance).

Synnove, however, had worked for the Guild for over a decade by that point, serving as an assessor for just as long. She is well familiar with having to espouse the official stance of her city-state, despite her own feelings. She’s still surprised the fact that Galette single-handedly wiping out the dessert buffet wasn’t off-putting! How was it at all cute that she could enforce good manners on her child?

(Honestly, what sealed the deal for them both was the competence thing. During the matter with the heretics, both well-acquitted themselves and, well. Competence is sexy. So’s martial prowess for both Ishgardians and Ala Mhigans. The pretty face was just a bonus.)

9. Who accidentally drinks too much caffeine and who has to deal with their partner bouncing off the walls?

Aymeric is the one who drinks too much caffeine. You would think it would be Synnove, but she’s an academic subsisting off Death Wish coffee: the amount of caffeine she consumes is how she’s able to function normally, she literally cannot consume too much. It is not physically possibly for her.

Aymeric, however, is typically a tea drinker. He forgot to ask which blend Synnove had put in the thermocoil boilmaster that morning. He was Not Prepared for Death Wish.

Synnove, thankfully, had years of managing Galette on a sugar high. Admittedly she grumbled Galette was easier because if it was really bad, she could launch the carbuncle out into the harbor and have her expend all that excess energy in a nice big explosion, but the house was definitely never that clean or the garden well-weeded ever again.

10. Where is a special place they hold close to their hearts? Why is it special?

There’s this little secluded cabin right on the beach south of Costa del Sol that the owner rents out to wealthy individuals who don’t want to deal with Master Gegeruju at his resort. Rereha’s parents basically have it booked for a solid two moons in late summer every year, and Rereha and her sisters will coordinate when they stay.

Shortly after the Dragonsong War ended and Aymeric was installed as the Lord Speaker, the Squad, Lucia, and Handeloup conspired and basically forcibly evicted Aymeric and Synnove from their offices and forced them to take at least a sennight’s vacation. (Start small, was their thinking.) Heron slapped ferry tickets into Synnove hands and said, “Boat leaves at the first bell past noon, you’re going to the cabin, your bags are at the docks, now leave.”

So their very first vacation was spent at that little cabin and its private pier, occasionally traveling up to Costa del Sol for supplies or for someone else to make lunch or dinner, and then wandering back, and just…existing. No duties, no meetings, just peace and quiet and the chance to relax. Afterwards, they put themselves on the renter’s list, and they typically go in winter when there’s a lull and the Coerthan everwinter gets worse. They have a lot of happy memories there.