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scarabbai · 4 years ago

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What the- i swear I thought I was following you for a long time- I just saw that it wasn't the case smh. Your rr au literally fascinates me. Like I have always had the idea if how they would be in an rr situation. So about this childhood incident you mentioned, what is it. Can I know?

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR LIKING MY AU (🥺) AND DW, YOUVE ACTUALLY BEEN FOLLOWING FOR A WHILE! Tumblr has a tendency to say you’re not following when you’ve most definitely been following the whole time for some reason??

As for the childhood incident, yes! I might write some of the scenes I’m about to mention in more detail later, but I’ll share what happened now since it’s really important in defining role reversed Jamil and Kalim’s current relationship. It also provides an important glimpse into what it used to be.

(Full story under the cut bc SERIOUSLY I went WAY overboard and it’s super long OTL)

When Kalim and Jamil first met, they weren’t anything close to friends. In fact, they barely got along. Their first meeting happened because Kalim was handpicked by Jamil’s father for his notable loyalty and dedication to the Vipers at his young age and introduced—more like presented—to Jamil as his new playmate and personal servant. Basically, it was Kalim’s job to be—or at least act as—Jamil’s friend.

Even at that young age, Jamil was a stuck up sourpuss who had already developed the nasty habit of looking down on others. After all, he was rich, spoiled, and practically a little prodigy. Nobody he met was ever at his level, and it’s not like he was ever taught humility. Naturally, he drove away practically everyone his own age and therefore didn’t have any friends. This concerned Jamil’s father and thus Kalim was brought into the picture. However, an important thing to note is that Jamil also happens to have a rebellious streak. He hates being coddled and is already very frustrated with his father’s constant attempts to keep him safe (with bodyguards, babysitters, etc) since he feels like he’s “being babied.” Bc of this, he’s very skeptical upon Kalim’s arrival, accuses him of being some other kind of guard in disguise, and is just generally very rude to him.

Obviously that doesn’t sit well with Kalim and they end up bickering for a while (“I’m not a liar!” “Yes you are!”) before Kalim finally catches Jamil’s attention by admitting he isn’t that great with magic yet. This leads to them both calming down and talking about all the stuff in Jamil’s room, which then prompts Jamil to kinda show off his skills in magic as well as his belongings. Jamil’s father checks in on them and sees Kalim cheering Jamil on as he’s showing him a spell he learned, which gets Kalim officially approved to stay by Jamil’s side for the foreseeable future. They still aren’t proper friends at this point, though. Jamil gets annoyed by Kalim’s presence bc it’s a reminder that his dad is still trying to “run his life” by looking out for him, and Kalim is lowkey having second thoughts about this whole “important job” thing bc Jamil’s kinda mean...

Eventually they become more comfortable with each other’s presence, but they still aren’t really friends. They end up with more of a “mastermind and henchmen” dynamic instead, with Jamil leading them both into trouble while Kalim gets the short end of the stick as the (not very believable, so he never actually gets punished) scapegoat of most of Jamil’s schemes. By this point, Kalim has kinda just accepted that this is gonna be the way things are and doesn’t really question it, and Jamil stops seeing Kalim as a nuisance and more like a source of entertainment, praise, etc. Basically Jamil pushes Kalim around bc he knows he can get away with it and bc Kalim will always tell him what he wants to hear. Fun for Jamil! Not so fun for Kalim. This goes on for some time.

About several months to a year or so later, a festival in the city is announced. Being very sheltered and restricted his whole life, Jamil really wants to get out there and see the activities and events that are going to be hosted (especially the dancing! He’s super interested in all the different types of dance that’ll be showcased at the festival). However, his dad comes in the night before the festival and forbids Jamil from going bc “there’s too many people and it’ll be dangerous,” not revealing that he’s heard news of the family’s enemies in the area. Knowing his son is a little schemer but also that he’ll be very upset, he calls Kalim in to stay with Jamil for the rest of the night and the next day not only to make sure he won’t try anything but also to hopefully cheer him up.

Despite knowing full well that orders from his dad > his own wishes and that Kalim has to listen to his dad over him since his dad outclasses him in authority, Jamil’s bitter enough to poke the hornet’s nest and try to bait Kalim into helping him sneak out anyway. In doing so, he pulls some pretty guilt trippy stuff and whines about how he clearly doesn’t have any “real friends” since “real friends” help each other do stupid stuff like sneaking out. He doesn’t expect this to work at all given Kalim’s strict adherence to authority and rules, but he does it anyway bc taking out his frustration over his father’s actions on Kalim is easier than just quietly accepting his dad’s attempt to protect him.

Jamil ends up severely underestimating three very important factors:

Kalim’s own desire to go to the festival

How much his happiness matters to Kalim

The fact that Kalim actually does see him as a friend/hopes they can be true friends

Kalim gets pretty quiet for the rest of the night, and when his required time keeping Jamil company is up, he leaves the room without a word. This makes Jamil all disappointed and kinda upset with himself bc he thinks he’s gonna get ratted out, but nothing ends up happening. The next morning, Kalim shows up to Jamil’s room with two sets of casual clothes from his own wardrobe in his hands and a smile on his face. To Jamil’s utter shock (Kalim has never gone against orders before, especially ones directly from his dad), Kalim explains that he used his usual credibility to his advantage and managed to lie his way to a perfect cover for the both of them, and if they leave now nobody will notice until they’re long gone. He broke the rules for the sake of Jamil’s happiness, and that’s a gesture that means so much to them both it makes Jamil feel kinda funny.

He brushes it off though bc this is his moment! This is the chance he’s been waiting for, and all the different plans and ways to sneak out he thought of while lying awake the night before can finally be put into action with Kalim’s help! With the combined power of Jamil’s strategic thinking and some extra strength/height boosts from Kalim, they manage to make it off the property with the others none the wiser. In order to keep things lowkey, they’re both dressed in the casual clothes Kalim brought, and Jamil has Kalim stop addressing him as “Master Viper/Master Jamil” for the time being so they just seem like two regular kids instead of the Viper heir and his servant. It’s just a small, temporary thing, and Jamil doesn’t even pay it any mind, but it turns out to be a very important equalizing factor for them both. Suddenly, their social standings aren’t nearly as skewed.

Jamil knows exactly what he wants to do at the festival and fully expects things to go his way the whole time, but when they arrive, he sees something he never expected to, and it causes him to forget about his schedule and all the things he was gonna immediately drag Kalim to see and do:

Standing in the sun and in the thick of all the lively activity, Kalim is practically glowing with excitement, flourishing in the crowds and people, his face lighting up in a way Jamil has never seen in the year or so they’ve known each other. He’s so happy and alive and it throws Jamil off completely bc he’s never seen Kalim THIS joyful before. He’s never seen Kalim in his natural element even though they see each other almost every day.

Seeing this change in Kalim leaves Jamil stunned long enough for Kalim to get ahead of himself in excitement and grab Jamil’s hand to pull him along and see all the stalls and colorful sights and gawk and admire all the things they have for sale, things that Kalim knows he can’t afford but wow isn’t it nice to see all these things anyway even if he can’t have them (even if he wishes he could have them) and he’s so starry eyed and he’s pointing out things to Jamil who is still struck by this liveliness in Kalim that he’s never seen before, so shocked and entranced by the life in Kalim’s eyes and the way he’s speaking so fast that his words almost blend together that he reaches into his pocket and pays for each and every trinket Kalim stares longingly at just to keep on seeing his smile, just to see the way Kalim brightens up and jumps up and down with excitement and gratitude (“thank you Jamil-sama, thank you thank you thank you!”) and he lets Kalim be the star of the show for the very first time, lets him be the one in charge of the schedule, following him here and there as Kalim sees something that grabs his attention and then they’re both off like a jet, Kalim weaving through crowds like an expert while Jamil tags along clumsily behind, singing and laughing and there’s this one moment, one magical moment when Kalim stops at a stand selling coconut juice and when he mentions it’s his favorite drink, his favorite flavor ever, Jamil buys them both one coconut each without hesitation, watching as Kalim enjoys his drink like it’s the best thing in the whole entire world (and watching Kalim, he could almost think it was too, even if he doesn’t like it nearly as much) and wonders how in the world he managed to mess up so badly to know someone for so long and still never know his favorite food, to see each other every day but never once see Kalim like this, with so much joy, and Jamil stands there, sipping his coconut juice as Kalim sings and dances in place as they watch a concert performance together, wondering where he went so wrong, wondering when he forgot Kalim was a real person, wondering if he ever realized Kalim lived and breathed and had feelings.

It’s the wakeup call Jamil didn’t know he needed. He realizes for the first time how little Kalim gets to have some fun of his own whenever they play together, how he’s always the one dragging Kalim into messy situations, how Kalim may have been kinda happy when they’re together but clearly he’s never been truly happy in all of the time they’ve spent together, how Kalim is a real friend who cares and puts up with so much while Jamil has been nothing but a bully and an asshole.

As the sun sets and he and Kalim are heading back to the estate, Jamil thinks about this a lot. He feels extremely guilty over his shitty attitude and resolves to do better, to be proper friends with Kalim, to be nicer and kinder and to appreciate the people and things he has in his life. He’s going to fix things. He’s going to do it right from now on.

Unfortunately for them both, Jamil is too lost in thought to notice that someone else has noticed him.

The next sequence of events is a blur to Jamil. One moment he’s walking through a less populated street side by side with a friend he’s wronged, and the next, said friend is pushing Jamil out of the way as some rando swipes at him. They both land in a heap on the floor, but adrenaline gives Kalim the speed to recover, grab Jamil’s hand, and make a break for it before the person can make another attempt at grabbing them. Jamil’s too disoriented and in too close a range to prepare a good enough spell to get the person off their tail, so they’re both in big trouble as they run through shortcuts and alleyways to get home faster while their pursuer is hot on their heels. Eventually their luck runs out, and the person catches up to them.

Kalim is no bodyguard, but he still throws himself between Jamil and the attacker to protect him. It’s two little kids against one adult. The way the person looms over them is terrifying, they’re both shaking, Jamil is on the floor bc Kalim pushed him too hard when he tried to tell him to just leave him behind and run for it, and Kalim himself is screaming his poor lungs out, crying for help in hopes that he’ll catch the attention of the people milling about. He does, but not before he takes a severe blow to the head and goes down hard. With the help of both some alarmed bystanders and a blast of Jamil’s tearful, rage-fueled magic (“NO!! KALIM!!! KALIM!!!”), the pursuer gets taken out and the bystanders, who recognize who Jamil is, contact the authorities and his family. They stay with him while Jamil hugs Kalim’s unconscious body and cries his eyes out bc this wasn’t supposed to happen, he should have listened, Dad was right, he was stupid, he got them both hurt, Kalim isn’t smiling anymore, he won’t open his eyes, there’s so much blood everywhere, there’s so much blood coming from Kalim’s head—

In almost no time at all, Jamil’s dad, some bodyguards, and one of the family’s healers arrive at the scene to find Jamil inconsolable and Kalim injured. Kalim gets some emergency healing from the medic, but his wound is deemed too severe for the magic to be able to reverse all the damage at once and therefore he needs to be rushed back to the manor’s infirmary. Jamil’s dad gently pulls Jamil away from Kalim so he can be taken to properly heal, holding his crying son close as he watches the medic carry away a much too still, much too small body. When they head back to the estate, he picks up his son and carries him the whole way, and Jamil doesn’t even have the energy to interrupt his sobbing to complain. Jamil’s father tries to ignore the blood staining his son’s clothes, the red on his hands, and keeps going. He cleans him up when they get back (and tries, again, not to feel sick as he sees the color of the water) and that night, Jamil is too afraid to sleep in his own room. He reads bedtime story to his son for the first time in a long while, and when Jamil finally falls asleep, curled up with tears still clinging to his eyelashes, Mr. Viper stays awake a little longer to watch over him.

It takes days just for Kalim to open his eyes again, and there’s a new scar waiting for him when he does.

#twisted wonderland #twst #twst fic #jamil viper #twst jamil #kalim al asim #twst kalim #role reversed au #my stuff #responses

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fishylife · 4 years ago

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I was tagged by @thefeastandthefast to do this. Thank you! :3

Last song: Home Free - Any Way the Wind Blows

Last movie: Black Swan (2010). Yes, I watched it for the first time in the year 2021 X’D It was good. But I felt that it was a bit too on the nose for sometimes, or maybe I’m just being pretentious. I think I would’ve enjoyed it more if it took a subtler approach to some parts of the story. But otherwise it was still a solid movie and I get what it was going for.

Currently reading: This is so embarrassing but I am still reading Heaven Sword and Dragon Saber. It is a very, very long book OTL I hope to be finished it soon (like, some time this month lol). As a book, I haven’t been finding it as interesting as Legend of the Condor Heroes or Return of the Condor Heroes. But I remember enjoying the 2001 Heaven Sword and Dragon Saber TVB drama a lot when I was a kid, so I have a feeling it’s one of those stories that is more enjoyable on screen than on paper.

Currently watching: Love Me If You Dare 他來了，請閉眼. It’s been alright so far. The cases are fine, and the romantic subplot is par for the course for Cdramas (cheesy, could be better). The acting is pretty good though. The cast is surprisingly solid for such a seemingly average Cdrama. I’m also watching Who’s the Murderer Season 5 明星大偵探 5. It’s been alright as usual, funny and quirky. But the episodes are literally 3 hours long now. It’s turned into a show that I put on in the background while I do something else because I can’t afford to pay attention to 3 hours of gathering evidence and logical deduction in my spare time.

Currently craving: I’m missing Hong Kong. I think it’s the fact that I don’t know when I’ll be able to go next that’s making me miss it more. I’m usually only there for vacation and I guess I miss being away from home but still with my family. The political situation and covid have probably changed the city a lot though, so I don’t know if HK will feel the same the next time I go back.

Tagging @alwayscryingoverdannyb, @goats-guts-and-glory, @jonginnation, and whoever else wants to do this :3

#answering stuff

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ivisite · 5 years ago

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DRAGONBORN 30 DAY CHALLENGE

Day 13 - Thieves in the Ratway

Did they join the Thieves Guild?:

She officially joined as a member when she was 20 after impressing the senior members with her skills while tagging along with Brynjolf on his jobs. She was around long enough to get to know several of the more esteemed members but wasn’t there long enough to get close to many of the “entry level” recruits.

She returned at 27 (she was with the Companions a few months and her birthday passed) and since she never “left” the guild, technically she was still a member. Albeit she was in debt and kind of just doing the work for the sake of paying off what she owed rather than for the hell of it. Mercer very sarcastically applauded her when she followed Brynjolf into the Cistern running a few jobs after, stating that “I’d be impressed with your feat had you not put us in more debt then we were already in” and even scoffing and saying “You know, it takes a certain kind of person to be a thief, but it takes a special kind of person to be a thief of thieves.”

If yes…

How did they feel about their fellow guild members?:

As a younger person, she was more concerned with the likes of Bryn, but when she returned she found herself rather comfortable with the rough rabble of the Flagon. Something about everyone being a societal reject or odd-ball made her feel right at home. Despite her and the other local red head of the guild often bickering and arguing upon her return, she was rather friendly with everyone else. More often than not, specially after getting a few jobs under her belt, the others started warming up to her and she ended up the center of the Flagon with her stories of her travels and her past with the guild.

She warms up to Brynjolf, too, but only after they get stuck on a heist job together because Delvin claimed “You’re in charge of her debt, Bryn, you ought to make sure she can even do the jobs. Go on and go with her.” It almost went bad (because they started bickering mid-job) but they managed to reluctantly work together and get what they needed and get out without getting caught. Afterwards, they were hyping each other up but realized that they were being civil and [ tsundere bagpipe mode ] kicked in and they started bickering out in the middle of Morthal’s swamps until it got so heated they kissed. Went to Morthal, got drunk and caught up afterwards and managed to work things out that night. Delvin got 1000 septims though, having been in a bet with Vekel and Dirge about the two getting back on good terms.

How about Maven Black-Briar?:

From the beginning, she’s always kept Maven at arms length. They’re both terribly good at speaking and dancing around words so the conversations between them are always short. She respects that she’s a strong woman but also thinks that she could use something or something to keep her power balanced out. Another powerful person moving to town or something. Too much power never ends well, after all. They are neutral, at best. Maven doesn’t like Saoirse for being so “good at making coin” and drawing people in and Saoirse doesn’t like that Maven thinks she’s some sort of goddess on Nirn. Money talks though and both enjoy money, so at least they have that common ground.

Her daughter is nice though. After buying Honeyside to avoid sleeping with the skeevers in the sewer, she often takes trip down the the Apothecary shop and talks alchemy with Ingun.

Was Mercer Frey’s betrayal a shock to them?:

She never liked that old codger, even when she initially joined when she was younger so it wasn’t too terribly surprising. Dodgy as he was and terribly bitter all the time, she figured he must have been up to something. After he tried to kill her though, she was a little more upset. It’s all fun and games until it gets personal and then she gets mad, so to speak. (scared, really, but that’s another story) She’s not reluctant about helping Karliah out at all, trusting her and standing her ground on the matter when confronted by the other guild members and Brynjolf. When Karliah states she knows how to get to Mercer, Saoirse is ready to squad up.

How do they feel as a Nightingale?:

She’s not terribly into religion, Aedra or Daedra, so the whole “doing it in the name of Nocturnal and serving the prince in life and death” thing weirded her out. Herself and Brynjolf were both a bit turned off from the idea at first but eventually shrugged it off and gave in, if only to get the guild back on the right path. The armor is neat, though, at least. “Y’know Karliah, Bryn and I always joked we were a match made in Sovngarde with the irony being that neither of us would ever get to go there.” Saoirse said thoughtfully with a short chuckle. “...Aye, I suppose birds of a feather will always flock together though.”

Will they make a good Guild Master?:

Once again, I kind of sway from canon with this but it’s still lore friendly. After she does the main quest of returning the skeleton key, she still keeps her base of operations in Riften while going about the Dragonborn destiny with the Greybeards. While out traveling all over Skyrim on that journey, she keeps up with the guild and continues doing jobs to count towards her debt that she insists on paying off, regardless of all she’s done. Eventually, she manages to get all the special jobs and when offered the title, she takes it for exactly two days and then gets Brynjolf really drunk and romances him real good one night and, in his drunken stupor, tricks him into taking the Guildmaster title. After he’s tuckered out and fast asleep, she returns to the Flagon, tells Delvin of Brynjolf’s new title and that he’d be down tomorrow morning to get started on the books and officially “gives up” the rank before heading back out to Ivarstead for more Dragonborn-ing. To say the very least, when Bryn made it down the next day all full of himself and hung-over, he wasn’t sure what to make of Delvin dropping the Guilds’ books and finances onto his table at the Flagon and carrying on about “Good luck, Guildmaster.” Once she pays off her debt and talks the now sober Brynjolf into “just dealing with it like he promised”, she takes her leave from the guild but stays in touch, of course ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Late but better than nothing OTL

I like to think that Saoirse would insist on “Nightingale Squad Casual Fredas” meet ups to drink and hang out with each other.

Also, the drunker she gets, the more you can hear bagpipes playing aggressively in the distance, canon. (background is screenshot because I can’t draw Rift scenery to save my life)

----

“You know...I think Ulfric just needs to get himself a good Dunmer lass to bed him.” Saoirse said after a long moment of thought.

The comment earned her a snort from the Dunmer nearby and an inquisitive nod from Brynjolf next to her.

“W-Why say that?” Karliah asked, her attention split between sipping as slowly as possible on her drink and watching the two red-headed Nords as they both heartily drank their own drinks.

She wasn’t very prudent, so to speak, but in comparison to her Nord friends, she seemed rather stiff about it all. She didn’t think little of them, of course, and in fact was rather amused by her two associates across the way. Having been in hiding for so long, the comradery was of the welcomed sort.

“Listen, he’s an ol’ codger in the worst way- ought to get bedded once real good and who better to knock some sense into that thick ‘ead of his than a strong Dunmer lass? The irony of it!” Saoirse said, holding her bottle of mead out and pointing it at Karliah.

Brow raised and mouth curled into a confident pout, the red head took a sip from her bottle and chuckled. “It’d be funny, at least. Make him feel like a right arse for how he keeps Windhelm divided.” She grumbled.

“Right awful of him, the old bastard. Ne’er met him but I don’t think I’d want to, ya ken?” Brynjolf finally spoke up after finishing off his Alto Wine. “I ‘ave, at Helgen. We were in the same wagon. He’s very tall. I dinnae ken if it was just the outfit or his presence but he was intimidating to stand by.” Saoirse cooed, gulping down the last swig of her mead.

“Helgen?” Karliah asked, catching Saoirse off guard a bit. “Aye, I was almost executed. Unfairly, too. Of all the things I’ve done in life thus far, and they try to execute me for swapping potions for arrows at a Stormcloak outpost I came across.”

Her tone was amusingly dry as she spoke, rolling her eyes mid-sentence and Karliah couldn’t help but laugh. “Ya’know, I think we should do this more often.” Brynjolf spoke up once again, having discovered the emptiness of his bottle. Scoffing in disdain, he dropped the now empty bottle behind him.

“Need to bring more to drink next time though.” He continued, making the two women snicker at his flushing cheeks. His brows furrowed some at the reaction but he tossed an arm over Saoirse’s shoulders and gave Karliah a hardy pat on the back never-the-less.

“Ah, you two can pick all you’d like. I suppose I’d rather it be you two than Ol’ Delvin.” He cooed.

#dragonborn challenge #female dragonborn #saoirse : oc #thieves guild #character creation #karliah #brynjolf #skyrim oc #tes oc

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weisying · 5 years ago

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quarantine boredom tag game

tagged by @xiielian thank youuu <3

Appearance :

i am over 5’5 // i wear glasses/contacts // i have blonde hair // i prefer loose clothing over tight clothing // i have one or more piercings // i have at least one tattoo // i have blue eyes // i have dyed or highlighted my hair // i have gotten plastic surgery // i have or had braces // i sunburn easily // i have freckles // i paint my nails // i typically wear makeup // i don’t often smile // i am pleased with how i look // i prefer nike to adidas // i wear baseball caps backwards

Hobbies & interests :

i play a sport // i can play an instrument // i am artistic // i know more than one language // i have won a trophy in some sort of competition // i can cook or bake without a recipe // i know how to swim // i enjoy writing // i can do origami // i prefer movies to tv shows // i can execute a perfect somersault // i enjoy singing // i could survive in the wild on my own // i have read a new book series this year // i enjoy spending time with my friends // i travel during school or work breaks // i can do a handstand

Relationships :

i am in a relationship // i have been single for over a year (more like my whole life lmao) // i have a crush // i have a best friend i have known for ten years // my parents are together // i have hooked up with my best friend // i am adopted // my crush has confessed to me // i have had a long-distance relationship // i am an only child // i give advice to my friends // i have made an online friend // i met up with someone i have met online

Aesthetics :

i have heard the ocean in a conch shell // i have watched the sunrise // i enjoy rainy days // i have slept under the stars // i meditate outside // the sound of chirping calms me // i enjoy the smell of the beach // i know what snow tastes like // i listen to music to fall asleep // i enjoy thunderstorms // i enjoy cloud watching // i have attended a bonfire // i pay close attention to colors // i find mystery in the ocean // i enjoy hiking on nature paths // autumn is my favorite season (there are no seasons where i live so i wouldn’t know which one is my fave OTL)

Miscellaneous :

i can fall asleep in moving vehicles // i am the mom friend // i live by certain quote(s) // i like the smell of sharpies // i am involved in extracurricular activities // i enjoy mexican food // i can drive a stick-shift // i believe in true love // i make up scenarios to fall asleep // i sing in the shower // i wish i lived in a video game // i have a canopy above my bed // i am multiracial // i am a redhead // i own at least 3 dogs

tagging: @weiiyings @twinheroes @silverquillsideas @kikuhikou @sugawaras @shoto-doroki @tadorokis @snugg1e and @haru-kaas (if you’d like to, ofc!!)

#i hope you're all doing well <33 take care!!#about me #tagged

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alcego-writes · 5 years ago

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11/11/11

thank you so much for the tag @bahay-kubo!

1. what’s the hardest character to write? easiest?

i have a lot of trouble with funny or witty characters. i can still write them, don’t get me wrong, but i have to put tons more effort into actually getting them on paper.

2. do you listen to music when writing? if so, what kind of music & playlist? if not, do you have playlists for your ocs/wips?

i have ADHD, so sometimes? depending on how stimulated i am, i might end up sticking Spotify on shuffle and writing with that or grabbing an instrumental playlist (or the Undertale soundtrack...). aaaaand then if i’m super over stimulated i’m just as likely to either write sans music or with earplugs.

i have a relatively eclectic taste in music, so what i’m listening to ranges from metal to folk to pop to rap and back again.

3. do you work on multiple wips at once? why or why not?

just about always! being able to switch gears allows me to get my creative juices flowing without burning myself out and goes a long way in preventing writer’s block for me

4. is there a scene that’s difficult to work with?

i really enjoy writing intimate, emotional scenes, but there can only be so many of those in one book. so for me writing the scenes that stitch the plot together but don’t necessarily have a lot of emotional stakes (particularly the early scenes in a zero draft) test my engagement with my writing. plowing through those and maintaining momentum keeps everything working, though

5. is there a character that is making a scene difficult?

characters are generally the easier part of the story for me LMAO i can pluck a pretty decently rounded character out of my head on a whim, but a plot? not so much

6. what are your characters’ flaws? are they’re aware of them?

(using the main cast of TLS here)

Valis is very guarded and mistrusting---both things he’s aware of, neither of which he’s particularly willing to change (no matter how much his therapists recommends it)

Damien is in that lovely purgatory between trauma and being okay with life again. he’s aware, although that doesn’t make it any easier.

Emily is something of a wrecking ball. she refuses to take no for an answer, is eternally unsatisfied with the answers she does get, and would literally rather die than ask for help. she’s... floating on the periphery of awareness, but there’s no guarantee that she’s going to start paying attention any time soon.

7. do you have any snacks for when your writing?

not really; it’s hard for me to write and eat at the same time (i get distracted by the food OTL)

8. what is your character’s kryptonite?

Valis: favors, both the doling out of and the receiving of

Damien: violence

Emily: her cocksure confidence

9. do you have other hobbies?

if you can call school a hobby, yes. otherwise... D&D, i suppose.

10. favorite pretty word you learned this year?

not so much something i’ve learned in the past year (i tried to think of words i’ve learned and drew a staticky blank) but i’ve always been rather fond of the word vestiges

11. will you be doing NaNo this year? if so, any wip for it? if not (and if yes), is there any other monthly event you planned to be involved in?

i’d love to, but i’m not sure if my schedule/work-load will allow for it. i’ll settle for hitting another 10 or 20 thousand words in November

tagging: @etjwrites @smokedstorybara @poppyville @laithen @sidereon-spaceace and anyone else who’s interested! as usual, no pressure!

being tired, i’m gonna say use the same questions, as if i try to come up with 11 of my own right now they will be positively gibberish

#tag meme #11/11/11

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faerieinteresting · 6 years ago

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a tag game from a million years ago (thanks @chaleurette for this, sorry it’s so late OTL)

tagging: @bebemoon @clancysletters @cheolsgirl @ryujiimnida @exischential

rules: bold the statements that relate to you and tag whoever you want.

I’m over 5'5 / I wear glasses/contacts / I have blonde hair / I wear sweatshirts a lot / I prefer loose clothing to tight clothing / I have one or more piercings / I have at least one tattoo / I have blue eyes / I have dyed or highlighted my hair / I have gotten plastic surgery / I have or had braces / I sunburn easily (seriously, it’s insane) / I have freckles / I paint my nails / I typically wear makeup / I don’t often smile / I am pleased with how I look / I prefer Nike to Adidas / I wear baseball hats backwards

I play a sport / I can play an instrument / I am artistic / I know more than one language / I have won a trophy in some sort of competition / I can cook or bake without a recipe / I know how to swim / I enjoy writing / I can do origami / I prefer movies to TV shows / I can execute a perfect somersault / I enjoy singing (very much so!!) / I could survive in the wild on my own / I have read a new book series this year / I enjoy spending time with friends / I travel during school or work breaks / I can do a handstand

I have had my first kiss / I have gotten drunk / I have told a crush I like them / I have traveled outside of the country / I have flown on an airplane / I have stayed awake for more than 48 hours / I have had a near-death experience / I have caught something on fire (sort of...) / I have performed in a talent show / I have shot a gun / I have been on TV / I have gone scuba diving / I have broken a bone / I have slow-danced / I have gone on a shopping spree

I am in a relationship / I have been single for over a year / I have a crush / I have a best friend I have known for over ten years / my parents are together / I have dated my best friend / I am adopted / my crush has confessed to me / I am an only child / I give advice to my friends / I have made an online friend / I met up with someone I have met online

I have heard the ocean in a conch shell / I have watched the sun rise / I enjoy rainy days / I have slept under the stars / I meditate outside / The sound of chirping calms me / I enjoy the smell of the beach / I know what snow tastes like / I listen to music to fall asleep / I enjoy thunderstorms / I enjoy cloud watching (it’s one of my dream jobs lol) / I have attended a bonfire / I pay close attention to colours / I find mystery in the ocean / I enjoy hiking on nature paths / autumn is my favourite season

I can fall asleep in a moving vehicle / I am the mum friend (hard core) / I live by a certain quote / I like the smell of Sharpies / I am involved in extracurricular activities / I enjoy Mexican food / I can drive stick-shift / I have memorized an entire song in a day/hour / I dream up scenarios to fall asleep (I feel called out lol) / I sing in the shower / I wish I lived in a video game / I have a canopy above my bed / I am multi-racial / I am a redhead / I own at least three dogs

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harjii · 6 years ago

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Bold Tag

I was tagged by @yunhos-gf ^^~ thank you for tagging me lovely!

I’m also hopping on the bandwagon and italicising everything that’s somewhat or not quite true.~

I’m over 5'5 / I wear glasses (mainly for looking at a screen + long distance driving) /contacts / I have blonde hair / I wear sweatshirts a lot / I prefer loose clothing to tight clothing / I have one or more piercings / I have at least one tattoo / I have blue eyes / I have dyed or highlighted my hair / I have gotten plastic surgery / I had braces / I sunburn easily / I have freckles / I paint my nails (only for special occasions) / I typically wear makeup / I don’t often smile / I am pleased with how I look (there’s aspects of myself I like and aspects I don’t like I guess?) / I prefer Nike to Adidas (don’t really have a preference either way) / I wear baseball hats backwards

I play a sport (I used to play badminton competitively but I haven’t been able to play properly in a really long time) / I can play an instrument / I am artistic / I know more than one language / I have won a trophy in some sort of competition / I can cook or bake without a recipe / I know how to swim / I enjoy writing / I can do origami / I prefer movies to TV shows (depends. I prefer watching Western movies to T.V. shows usually but prefer Asian dramas) / I can execute a perfect somersault / I enjoy singing (even though I don’t have the tone for singing OTL) / I could survive in the wild on my own / I have read a new book series this year (in progress righ tnow) / I enjoy spending time with friends / I travel during school or work break / I can do a handstand / I have had my first kiss (people would probably find it weird that I’ve been in a relationship before yet not had my first kiss but bottom line is he didn’t deserve one and that’s the tea //flips hair) / I have gotten drunk / I have told a crush I like them / I have travelled outside of the country / I have flown on an aeroplane / I have stayed awake for more than 48 hours / I have had a near-death experience / I have caught something on fire (although more often than not, I’m the one putting out the fires, both physically and metaphorically speaking =u=) / I have performed in a talent show (I played piano for ‘Set the Fire to the Third Bar’ by Snow Patrol for 2 school mates who sang and another time played a keyboard cover for ‘Numb’ by Linkin Park at a Guiding fund raising event ^^~)

I have shot a gun / I have been on TV (my dad is a cricket fanatic. Last time we went to a England vs India match, we ended up on T.V. OTL) / I have gone scuba diving / I have broken a bone / I have slow-danced / I have gone on a shopping spree / I am in a relationship / I have been single for over a year (I wish I had been tbqh OTL) / I have a crush (DOES CHANYEOL COUNT? BECAUSE REALLY THAT IS HOW IT FEELS RIGHT NOW TT TT) / I have a best friend I have known for over ten years (two of my dearest friends I’ve known since I was like 5 <3 ) / my parents are together / I have dated my best friend / I am adopted / my crush has confessed to me / I am an only child / I give advice to my friends / I have made an online friend / I met up with someone I have met online (super fortunate to have met most of them ;u; <3)

I have heard the ocean in a conch shell / I have watched the sunrise / I enjoy rainy days / I have slept under the stars / I meditate outside / the sound of chirping calms me / I enjoy the smell of the beach / I know what snow tastes like / I listen to music to fall asleep (when I used to struggle with sleep, I’d listen to music~) / I enjoy thunderstorms / I enjoy cloud watching (I used to stand at the window at work and just cloud watch for like half an hour without anyone noticing oaiwejfoaiwef BLISS) / I have attended a bonfire / I pay close attention to colours / I find mystery in the ocean / I enjoy hiking on nature paths / autumn is my favourite season / I can fall asleep in a moving vehicle (THE ONLY MODE OF TRANSPORT WHERE I CAN!) / I am the mum friend (only to certain friends) / I live by a certain quote (two of them to be exact and both Disney: “If you don’t have nothing nice to say, don’t say nothing at all” and “Have courage, and be kind”) / I like the smell of Sharpies / I am involved in extracurricular activities / I enjoy Mexican food / I can drive stick-shift (this is actually mostly common in the U.K,!) / I have memorized an entire song in a day / I dream up scenarios to fall asleep / I sing in the shower (only when I know no one is nearby;;;) / I wish I lived in a video game / I have a canopy above my bed / I am multi-racial / I am a redhead / I own at least three dogs / I am LG(B)TQ+ (I’m not but I support everyone who is ^^ <3 SPREAD LOVE, NOT HATE Y’ALL)

I’m tagging @genjitsu-no-yume @angeleuijin @etherealkd @nuestwithloves and anyone else who’d like to do this!

#i really don't have enough mutuals #how to make more mutuals on here OTL #I don't know how to work tumblr anymore hahaha #thank you for tagging me ;u;#muchly appreciated!#random #personal #tagged things

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marklineson · 6 years ago

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Lost in a Loop (#02)

Kim Jongdae x Fem!Reader

You keep losing your memory every time you fall asleep. Is it possible for someone like you to live a normal life and experience a romance that lasts a lifetime?

Word Count: 5.1k

Genre: Fluff, Angst;

Title Track: To Reach You (Memory Control, PD48)

Warning: lots of occasional swearing bc idk, they’re all stupid kids and need help with their anger management (war of hormones, otl) & a bit of violence & drinking; also lots of cringey moments; -Rosy out;

#02 Enchanting.

- May 05th, 2018

“You're up late today, son.” Jongdae winced under the stern glance of his father, fastening his steps as he made his way through the living room, with the kitchen as his destination.

He had ended up falling asleep around 5 in the morning, and now, five hours of nightmares and uncomfortable twisting and turning later, he had decided to get up and call it a night. He was sure you had already gotten up, not remembering a letter of the conversation you'd had with him, but he was worried.

Why did she do that?, he constantly questioned himself as he poured himself the rest of the instant coffee his father had prepared for breakfast, Why did she ask me about my feelings? Is she interested in me? He felt a tiny spark of hope flare up behind his sternum, but then again it also could have just been the heat of the beverage in his cup.

He flipped the case of his phone aside and opened said conversation, shaking a bit when he saw your profile picture next to your name.

Do you love me?

I don't know, he kept whining in his head, How am I supposed to know? I'm eighteen years old, for fuck's sake. Frustrated, he slammed the phone shut again and sat down with a bowl of cereal in hand. I must have been out of my mind when I said yes- let her reread our conversation and she'll think I'm a creep. Shit.

As if on cue, his father stepped into the room the moment Jongdae hat put the last bit of milk in his mouth, spoon still hanging from his lips when the bowl was snatched away from him.

“Ey! Dad!”, he exclaimed, his father gifting him with another stern look.

“It's Saturday, Jongdae.”

“I wanted to at least eat some breakfast before I meet up with the guys and-”

“Didn't you promise me to help out today because you got home late yesterday?”

Ah, true. Detention had caused him to get home late yesterday. He mentally kicked Chanyeol, but then again, his friend had gotten the worst punishment ever after school in form of his harpy girlfriend.

“So... you really want me to help out at the clinic today?” His father simply nudged his shoulder, ignoring the pout on his Jongdae's face.

“Money is earned through hard work, son- especially when it comes to part-time jobs.”

“Uh-huh”, Jongdae answered, gulping down the rest of his still hot coffee -Seriously, how long had he sat down for breakfast? Five minutes?- and got up to follow his father through the entrance area and the white door that connected the living space of the house with the vet clinic his father owned.

“So, what can I help you with? Did the supplies arrive yet?” His father blinked at him, obviously impressed, nodded and motioned for Jongdae to go outside where the packages stood. “Nice. Let me stash them away for you.”

The elder nodded, a hand on his son's shoulder before he went back into the clinic. “If you need help, you know where your good old dad is.” But Jongdae quickly sent him back inside, happy to have something to do that would occupy him.

I must have been out of my mind.

Jongdae wondered if he had actually hoped to be able to forget about last night, or if he had wanted to reminisce in old memories when he'd told his dad he would take care of the delivered supplies. The more he got used to his task, the wider his thoughts trailed off into the distance, and whenever he set a foot into the storage room, all he could think about were the many times the two of you used to hide in there when you played hide-and-seek with the others.

He was sure that tending to the customers as they waited inside would have been much more effective than stashing away pills and cat food.

Do you love me?

“Morning! Nice weather, isn't it?” He greeted you, making his voice sound extra cheerful. His father snickered from inside the clinic. Oh, shit.

But his face fell for a moment when he saw you simply standing there, watching him with your eyebrows up, slightly chewing on your bottom lip. Another oh, shit moment, taking into count how pretty you looked with your hair down and your white skirt swaying in the gentle breeze.

Jongdae did his best to regain his confidence by clearing his throat.

“What? Cat's got your tongue?” He laughed, mentally shitting himself when he didn't see your face lighting up.

“Oh, good... morning”, you muttered, starting to shift under his intense gaze because it made you feel awkward, “I just didn't know we were... close enough to greet each other in public.”

Ouch.

“Of- of course we are, we're classmates. We should always greet each other, in and out of school!”

You mustered him up and down, making him feel like he shrunk down to bite-size under your earnest expression. “...I see. Well, are we done here? Since we greeted each other?” He released a sigh that fit his deflated expression and merely nodded, seeing you smile at him with a slight bow and starting to walk on, when-

“Please- wait, there's actually something I gotta ask-” Jongdae was relieved when you turned around on your heels and blinked at him, the edges of your mouth rising once more. He felt his stomach twist as the heat crept up his cheeks, unstoppable and cruel.

Do you love me?

It's either that or the sun's finally getting the best of me.

“You should have told me about the project for chemistry earlier! I could have grabbed my books and made my way here right away.” You exclaimed as Jongdae's father handed you a glass of juice, ice cubes clinking gently when you took a sip. “Chemistry is important to you, isn't it? Only if you still want to become a scientist in the future, that is.”

Jongdae nearly choked on a cube he was chewing on when he realized you had actually memorized a fact that was related to him, but his hopes where crushed right away when you mentioned you had skipped through your last year book because you had gotten curious about your friends' wishes for the future and had read about him there as well.

“I...”

He scratched his neck, obviously thinking of a smart remark he could surprise you with, when the voice of his dad came to his rescue.

“...So, Y/N, how is Nemo doing these days?” Mr. Kim directed his curious eyes at you while filling his own glass. “I haven't seen him strolling around our house for a while now.”

“I actually thought of paying you a visit with him today- he hasn't been eating at all today, but my mom said he's never been that much of an eater, so it might be the weather?”

Jongdae furrowed his eyebrows, clearly remembering you telling Yeri about Nemo gobbling down a whole bowl of cat food within a minute. He also remembered you asking your mom for your allowance in advance because you had to buy him more food, and when she said no, you had begged Jongdae to gift you with cat food for your birthday four years ago.

“Well, Nemo's about 15 years old, after all. It could be the weather, or it could be that he's just becoming more lazy as he becomes older, but maybe you should bring him here regardless of that- you were supposed to come here for his yearly check-up in June, anyway.”

You nodded at that, visibly happy to have such a great vet to take care of Nemo, your furry best friend. “I'll try to pay you a visit with him on Monday, then.”

Jongdae, who had been getting more or less lost in his memories, his gaze fixated on your beaming face, shrinked a little when you suddenly directed your attention at him again.

“So, do you want to start with the chemistry project right away? I could go home and get my things for-”

Yes. Yes- Say yes for god's sake! An unknwon voice kept screaming in his head, screaming at him to give in to what seemed like his chance to spend some time alone with you, but the feeling of his heart thumping so fast that it seemed to be about to burst caused him to do otherwise.

“I, eh- Sorry, but I already have plans for today.” Jongdae was sure of his mind playing tricks on him, because, for a mere second, he thought he'd seen your face fall- but he was sure he'd been wrong when you smiled at him and his dad as you got up- obviously, you were getting ready to leave.

“In that case, I'll be on my way to the grocery store. It was nice to chat with the two of you- Mr. Kim, Jongdae.” You waved at them before grabbing your bag and exiting the back of their clinic.

Jongdae's gaze followed your swaying hair when he was suddenly nudged by his father, making him groan. “Dad-”

“I already told you when you were ten and I know it made you cry, but I'll disown you if you don't make her my in-law, Jongdae.”

Blushing, Jongdae got up, his dad handing him some money before he practically ran out to follow you.

“Didn't you say you were a bit short on time because you had plans today?” You eyed him curiously, raising your eyebrows a bit at the large smile that had been plastered on his face ever since he'd managed to take you to this ice cream parlor a few minutes away from the grocery store.

“Yeah, I mean, I don't think we'd have had enough time to finish the project today because of that.”

“Who are you meeting up with, by the way?” Jongdae took his time before answering, his mind fully captivated by the redness that was crawling up your neck and, finally, cheeks, or the sight of you fumbling with the hem of your dress to avoid eye contact.

“I'm... going to meet the guys- Chanyeol, Baekhyun, and a few others you might not really know.”

“Oh. I see... like a guys' night out?”

He shrugged his shoulders. “Not really- Y-you could even tag along if you want. There will be other girls you could chat or play with.”

Something in your chest stirred, causing you to look anything but pleased.

He had known. He'd noticed how perfect -well, regarding your actual relationship- everything had been going today. He'd been seeing you in town on your own a few times, greeting you and sometimes even chatting with you, but sooner or later, there'd always been something -someone- to distract you and pull you away from him. Today had been the day, and he wouldn’t have been Kim Jongdae if he hadn’t known how to ruin it for himself.

“What's up?” The burning sensation of his palm on your shoulder made you stop mid-action, your eyes darting upwards to meet his. Jongdae felt somewhat intimidated by the expression you were now gazing at him with, but it didn't make him feel uncomfortable at all. It was the first time in two years, he realized. The first time ever since his birthday two years ago, ever since you’d caused him to think you were feeling the way he did

Why did I even answer you? I should have apologized, nothing more. Stop getting so sentimental, Jongdae.

“I don't know if I should be honest with you, Kim Jongdae.” Your eyes darted back to the floor, head shaking merely as if to support your thoughts, negativities he wasn't supposed to hear. “I don't know if I should really trust you that far-” His breath got stuck somewhere between his nose and his lungs when you suddenly grabbed one of his hands with yours, and gosh, were they small. And soft. Jongdae would have bet on them even smelling good-

“But despite everything my friends keep telling me, despite everything that's written about you in my diary, I feel like I want to trust you.”

“You...” He barely withstood the urge to hold on to your hand, but he managed to gently push it away in the end. “I don't think you should be trusting someone like me, Y/N.”

“My diary says so, too- but somehow, meeting you like this made me feel otherwise.”

The boy scowled. He’d thought he’d heard wrong before, but- “Your... diary?”

You blushed, but went on either way. “Yes, well, it's rather something like a notebook I use to keep up with the most important details of my daily life. To remember the things I... I forget about.” It was weird for you to talk about something so... private, but it also felt good to have someone listen and you had to admit that, different from what your diary had said, Jongdae seemed to be a nice person- and a great listener. “I wonder what my friends would do if they saw me opening up to you that much.” You laughed a little, but stopped when you saw Jongdae's face darken.

“I'm sure they already would have pulled you away from me, just like they always do.” It was your time to furrow your brows. “They seem to think I'm a bad influence for someone like you- and they may be right, I don't know.”

“What makes you think that?” You wondered what he -someone like Jongdae- could have done to be pushed away by your small group of friends, who were both also kind and caring enough to take someone like you in. Instead of eagerly reaching for his hand, you grabbed the string of your bag for something like... an anchor in the midth of the mess that was your head. “Did something happen between our friends? You and one of the girls-”, you paused, taking a deep breath to calm your own nerves-” or even us?”

Jongdae felt your eagerness giving him goosebumps. Despite whatever he had thought before, he was sure that something deep, deep inside of you wanted to get close to him again- and seeing how you were seemingly pulled to him made him feel indescribably soft. Like the matching poles of two magnets someone kept pulling apart. He could practically feel his heart swell with every word of honesty you spoke- because lying, he guessed, was something you were not capable of. “I... Honestly, I don't know.”

He didn't want to risk hurting you by accidentally making you try to remember anything about yourself too much, but he had to admit he was just as curious as you. He still remembered the last day the two of you hung out freely, the last day he had made you laugh and carried your backpack. He had thought about it over and over again, but had never managed to find a reason for you to leave his side when he had thought that you'd -eventually, if only the heavens had been on his side-

felt just like him. “We stopped being close two years ago. Believe it or not, but I have no idea why.”

He saw your face fall, shoulders hanging, and it took him all of his self-discipline not to step up to you and engulf you in a hug. He could have easily done so, maybe you even wanted him to- and yet, he would have felt as if he was taking advantage of your situation. Jongdae was no coward (just sometimes, he secretly was), but taking your situation into count, he still wanted to leave the first steps of whatever the two of you were heading up to to you. He had been used to matching up to your pace, and he had promised himself he would never throw himself right at you (unless you wanted him to, and heck, how often did he catch himself thinking back to the old times, where you'd tug on his shirt for a hug)- he wanted to give you the space and time you needed to get used to him again, no matter how long it'd take.

So instead of getting closer, he shifted around awkwardly, his shoes causing the earth beneath them to scrunch a little. He nodded over to the parlor you’d been sitting next to for the time being. “So... you wanna go get some ice cream?”

But all you could do was shake your head. “I'm not sure if I'm still in the mood for ice cream...”

Jongdae bit his lip, this time unable to hold his hand back as it reached out to you on its own, a gentle pat on your back causing you to smile. “We could share? Eating something delicious may brighten your mood. What's your favourite flavour?”

You smiled at him, and his heart skipped a beat.

How could you not feel happier again, when Jongdae was trying so hard to cheer you up?

“You want to know about... what?”

You patiently waited while Yerim and Sooyoung looked at each other as if you'd just told them you'd move away tomorrow and never come back.

“I don't think there's anything worth knowing, sweetheart.” But Yerim's furrowed brows told you otherwise.

“I would like to know what happened between me and Jongdae”, you started, casually sipping on your shaken sweet tea. “ Something must have happened. I feel like we'd be much closer if it didn't- and he said he's clueless himself.”

You saw your friends scoffing in unision. “He's what?!” Sooyoung slammed her hands on the table, half of the customers in the small café you'd met up in looking at her in shock. “He's a fucking idiot, Y/N, a fucking idiot! He's just as evil as his friends are!-”

“When did you even talk to him?”, Yerim asked as she yanked Sooyoung's butt back into her seat.

“Today. We met in front of his house and spontaneously went for ice cream.” You tried your hardest not to smile, but the glow on your face was impossible to hide. “I thought that if anyone would know, it should either be you or his friends.”

“Sweetie...” Yerim took your hands and gently pressed them while Sooyoung huffed and threw her head back, cheeks puffed in anger and frustration. “You know, it's not like we don't know about your feelings for Jongdae, but...”

“Yeri, stop. I don't want her to get close to these three pieces of garbage ever again. I gave Chanyeol another chance, and you saw what he made of it-”

“Why is this about you again, Sooyoung? Does each and every conversation have to revolve around you and that wanna-be-punk?”

“He's not- I mean, of course not”, the taller girl exclaimed, irritation washing over her face and revealing her inner state. “You know that all I want is to protect our friend from getting her heart broken over and over again- Park, Byun, Kim, they’re all the same kind of idiots. Insensitive, unbelievably mean and-”

“Girls, girls, girls- I fucking love him! ”, you threw in, both of your friends now looking at you, eyes wide and mouths agape. “This is my life, after all. I am a part of this group. I feel like I have every right to know about whatever happened between all of us.”

“It’s all in the past, sweetie, we should all calm down and think about what’s ahead of us, I guess”, Yeri patted your hand while Sooyoung raised her hand to order another round of tea and coffee for the three of you, but even the sugar-coated cookies she demanded as well could distract you.

“Sooyoung. Yeri. Please. You know me- my past, my future, everything’s unknown to me. The two of you are my number one source for everything that’s happened to me in the past years. What do you think I should do if even the two of you stop backing me up? What should I do with my future if I don’t even know who I am because my past is nothing but blurry?” Ugh, how you hated it to play that card- but it seemed to work just fine.

“Sooyoung, I read about your break-up. Heck, I don’t even know how to comfort you because I barely even know what it’s like to love someone, to be loved, or to be broken up with and miss someone- I want that, too, no matter the outcome.” You leaned over to them, a pleading look on your face. You felt like crying, andeventually, it showed- because even if you had just started to act like a kicked puppy to convince them, it was true. You were scared of your future- but what scared you the most was spending your present without living. You still wanted to go out and have fun, live and love like everyone else. You were convinced that even for someone like you, romance was a possibility as long as your partner was someone who cared. Someone who tried- someone like him, you added in your head.

Just this once, please.

You saw the two of them exchanging glances, with Yeri biting her lip and Sooyoung blinking a tad bit too fast, trying to hide her watery eyes. “Fine, but... please don't swear again. Sooyoung's rubbing off on you way too much.”

“Stop babying me, Yeri. You're younger than me!”

“Who cares about two months-” Sooyoung interrupting her by smacking the blonde's head made you crack up.

“What did you just say? I didn't hear you, Kim Yerim, I guess your bad hearing's rubbing off on me!”

Jongdae's mind was a freaking mess. With the memories of the past years and today all mixed together, the moments of tension that had practically drained him, he didn't even feel like attending Baekhyun's small party anymore- he would've rather spent time alone to think, to remember.

But he'd promised after all, and he had also said yes to band practice being set up for today due to the detention he'd gotten because Chanyeol'd behaved like a fucking caveman in class. He smiled, eyes crinkling in delight. He was reall walking through heaven and hell with that boy, but he was living for it- they were friends, after all.

“Yo, guys! It's me!”, he exclaimed as he opened the door to the small wooden hut in the Byuns' backyard, “What's going on?”

The guys immediately handed him a can of beer -Baekhyun's dad was a seemingly sad example of a single father, allowing the boys to drink at home to “man up” (when in reality, he rather had them drink at home than somewhere else, but how uncool did that sound)- and immediately discussed which song to play as an opening for tonights party and some new stuff Chanyeol had come up with, when Baekhyun put an arm around Jongdae's shoulders and slomped down next to him on the old, red leather sofa that had been a part of the Byuns' livingroom until three years ago, when Baekhyun had somehow managed to burn a butt-sized hole into one of the seats.

“I guess something good happened today? You're pretty much thrilled up today!” Jongdae sent a silent toast to his two friends and emptied his can before speaking.

“Well, you could say so. Nice weather-”

“-nice skirt, you mean.” Chanyeol took a seat in a blue armchair opposite to them. Baekhyun eyed them curiously, while Jongdae tried to hide in the collar of his shirt, immediately getting the hint.

“Your date was wearing a nice skirt today- a bit too long for my taste, but you've always been the conservative one here- Ey!”, the giant exclaimed when Jongdae's beer can collided with his head.

“Date? You were on a date?! Why didn't you tell us you had a girl wrapped around your little finger? Who is it? Spill the tea already!!” Baekhyun nudged Jongdae's side, obviously proud of his buddy.

Jongdae opened his mouth to speak, but before he could make sure that whatever answer he was going to give seemed solid, Chanyeol rolled his eyes and, holding his head, added “Naw, just kidding. I saw him in town with Brainy. They were eating ice cream. Should've seen them, Dae was so much into acting all lovey-dovey and sharing with her, I thought he was going to feed her at any moment- AH!” He tried to hold back his laughter, but failed miserably and ended up stubbing his toe at the coffee table.

“Serves you right!”, Jongdae happily yelled, before turning around to get some nice comment out of Baekhyun. “Doesn't it- hey, what's up? Someone stole your tongue?” He furrowed his eyebrows, repeating his friend's past action and nudging his shoulder playfully- but all he got was Baekhyun shoving him away and off the sofa. “Ey, what the fuck was that for?!”

“So, you're seeing her now?”, Baekhyun growled, head hanging low enough for his bangs to hide his face. “You're seeing each other? You're finally dating that sad excuse of a bitch- Fine, congratulations.” He made an attempt to get up and walk over to his keyboard, but Jongdae was faster- he jumped up from his position on the floor and pushed Baekhyun back to the couch, making him trip over his own feet and causing him to fall backwards with his back hitting the leather first. “Jongdae, what the fuck?!”

“What's your fucking problem?”, Jongdae yelled, throwing his hands up in the air to express his irritation, but also ready for a possible fight. “I told-”

“-I think I should be the one asking you two just that”, Chanyeol threw in, getting between the two smaller guys to prevent any more damage. “Jongdae, lower your fucking butt and then talk it out!”, he shouted, causing the other two to shut up for a moment and get back to their senses, realizing he had usually been the one they had to calm down and aid him with his anger management.

“I definitely didn't intend to make the two of you scratch each others' eyes out when I made that stupid joke.”

Jongdae huffed once, twice, and eventually a third time before laying his eyes upon Baekhyun again. “So? I'm waiting for your answer, dumbass.”

“What's there to wait for? I already wished you well, asshole.” Baekhyun wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, facial expression still falling a mile a minute. “I hope you and that annoying little piece of crap will live well and experience your happy ever after.”

“What reason do you have to treat her like that? I remember you telling us you liked her, Baek! Whenever you talk about her now, it's like you've become a whole different person! Did some kind of ghost get a hold of you and tell you to treat her like shit from one day to another? Or-”

“That's the fucking problem, you dumbass!” Chanyeol grabbed his chest in surprise, as Jongdae stayed unfaced by their friend getting up and slamming his hands flat on the table, their bottles jumping in unision.

“To be honest”, Baekhyun's voiced seemed forced and compressed, as if he tried his best to withstand the urge to talk, “I... like Y/N.”

Silence.

It was a weird, maybe even comical moment, with the rapid exchange of eye contact between Chanyeol and Jongdae, the latter feeling the hair in his neck standing up one after another, while Baekhyun shifted in his seat as if his blonde friend was a bomb that was about to explode. Unexpectedly, Chanyeol was the first one to regain his ability to speak.

“You what?”

“It's true. I've been in love with her for about... four years now”, Baekhyun started, elbows now resting on his knees, his face hidden in his hands to hide the embarrassment that started to show on his face.

“I... never knew”, Chanyeol mumbled, something like awe showing on his face, but he was too scared to drag things into a humorous direction just now. He'd never seen his friends in such a dead-serious moment, though he somewhat felt like this was all part of either a hidden camera prank, or some kind of cheesy romance novel.

“Well, me neither”, Jongdae growled, too overwhelmed by his own feelings of Baekhyun suddenly stepping up as a potential rival in a fight for your heart (though it was very unlikely that Yerim or Sooyoung would let you get close to any of them after what happened).

When Baekhyun realized his friends had nothing else to add, he continued, keeping his face low as he shifted awkwardly on the old red sofa beneath his butt. “I thought that, if I kept humiliating her, I would at some point start to believe in my own words, that I would like her less, maybe even dislike her someday- be able to let go and move on- but it's not that easy.” His gaze shifted to Jongdae, who was still furious, his whole body shaking from anger and irritation. “Whenever I hurt her, I saw your eyes, the sadness it pushed you into- and I knew that, while my head told me to stop this, my heart had made the right choice. She may be weird, but if someone like you falls for her, Y/N must be one hell of a girl- a rare catch, like a diamond.”

With his gaze still resting upon Jongdae, he missed the way Chanyeol furrowed his eyebrows and mouthed something along the line what the fuck?, falling into a trance as he slowly started to realize the direction this was taking.

“After a while, I noticed I like it when she cries or shies away from me- it's cute, but-”

“-Wow, you're one fucking asshole.”

Baekhyun sighed and nodded, eyes carrying a small glint of sadness. “True, Dae, I was going to say exactly that. I'm an asshole for making her feel so down, and I possibly hate myself the most for it- but I'm also your friend, and so I decided to start over. I promise I'll behave-”

Chanyeol regretted only waking up from his trance the second he heard the crack caused by Jongdae's fist hitting Baekhyun's nose with full force.

Back to the LiaL Masterpost || Chapter 3

tagging: @noona-clock @trishmarieco @cramelot @jjong-dae77 @lovebuginlove

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moonraccoon-exe · 6 years ago

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Hi there :) ok, so first of all, your pseudo is amazing. Anyway, you were wondering if I was paying intention to the tags... of course omg!!! You put so much energy and love in your comment how could I not have seen it? seriously?? and true fact, I loose time every morning to check the reblogs just in case people put some stuff in the tags and idk, i cannot ignore it. So don't worry your endless tags full of feels will not end into the void ;) thanks you soooo much and have a great day!!

AKSLJDFLKGA DJLKGAJS FLKADJG ALDKGJ AKLDGJAKLG ZOMG ZOMG SCREEEEEEEEEECH IT’S AESTRAMA SAMA IN MY INBOX IT’S AN ARTIST OF PHENOMENAL ART IN MY INBOX SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

*EXPLODES*

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

PEOPLE GO CHECK THEIR ART OUT IT’S FANTASTIC AND I LOVE IT SO MUCH ASDKLJDAG KDJ GLAKDJGAD

OMG. OMG. ASKJDAFDKHLJ ADKLFAJ DGKLADJGADK ADKLGJADLGKAD

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH, AESTRAMA SAMA I DON’T KNOW HOW TO REPLY TO YOU HGNNHFHNFG HKFGNH OMG I DIDN’T REALLY THINK YOU’D ACTUALLY DROP BY HNHG AAAAAHHHHH

Let me- let me add a keep reading here, aye? Ah. Omh. Aha,dg

Look, I REALLY want to freak out here because ZOMG IT U, but the truth is I can’t look at your inbox and freak out because I HAVE FAILED YOU OTL

It took me forever, but I did add the tags to yoru artwork where I asked you if you wanted me to…it’s here, if you want to check it out, but…know that I failed you… ;A;

Tumblr only allows 30 tags and there was NO WAY on this planet that I would put my thoughts and impressions of your artwork in only 30 tags, considering as well the space I use for search purposes which left me with like 20 and as hard as I tried to fill them as much as they allow me to, I just…didn’t get even ¼ to what I wanted to express… OTL

So I’m sorry that I kept you waiting for so AGONIZINGLY LONG and it’s not a big deal. You probably expected more but what did you expect me to say? Your art is beyond my vocabulary and mortal comprehension, I couldn’t do it as hard as I tried…forgive this mortal that adores your art but has no idea of how to express how much, almighty Aestrama… OTL

SO WHAT ABOUT I KEEP RANTING HERE BECAUSE I DON’T FEEL FULFILLED YET

IT’S JUST

AKSDLJF

AKSLDJFG LKAJDFKLAS GDKLJLAKDJ FLDKAGJALDKGAD JLK

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY WHOLEHEARTEDLY LOVE THAT ARTWORK OF YOURS KAJSDKALJG OMG I HAD ALREADY SEEN TWO OR SO ARTWORKS FROM YOU BUT THAT ONE SORTA SLAYED ME ;A;

The Regis-Noct relationship is my fave and it’s always so heartbreaking and touching, and you made it so…beautiful in a way I can’t describe. Your artwork itself radiates all this joy, all this sentiment, kasjdladkgjadkgjda, the artwork contains some load of emotion, and it transmits another load, and honestly, that’s what I think art is.

Not to talk about your art. Which is what I think I talked the less about when it should have been in first place because WOWEE, LOOK AT YOUR ART!!!!!!!!!!

And that one artwork is so good and so nice, because while it’s a fun and cute style, it’s not an artwork to laugh with, it really is touching and heartwarming. It may be the look on Regis’ face, happy and content, when in canon we’re not used to see him smile. I LOVE the colors and how you mad eof blue and black hues so happy and lighthearted. Lighthearted, that’s a word I’d give to it. That, and wholesome.

All in all, I think that your WONDERFUL art skills and the emotion within, plus the emotion it transmits really do a fantastic and phenomenal job at giving that one artwork its impact and impression. It’s really something I can’t put into words and that I will forever love akjsdlkajg aaah… ;__________;

AND THAT’S THAT. I’M SORRY I BURST INTO A RANT, IT’S JUST- I LOVE THAT WORK SO MUCH OTL

A-aah….and…omg…thank you for thinking that my pseudo is amazing, ahah, aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh!!!!!!!!!!! (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄) Thank you!!!

Also, I get what you mean with checking reblogs in case people put something in the tags. I do that, too, but sometimes I just stop checking because no one ever says a thing and I feel I’m just wasting my time. Which really made me think that the chances YOU checked the tags were so scarce, because a little writer with 20 or 30 tags gets tired sometimes from lack of tag content, and YOU, such a wonderful and skilled artist with 200 or more notes…??? So you probably check more reblogs with no tags, so it was probable you just didn’t check them anymore, which is fine and understandable!!

So it really surprised me that you sent this and let me know that you check them. That speaks so nicely about you…Thank you for taking the time to check the tags, despite knowing that maybe 1 in 15 people will say anything. Thank you, really, for checking them. It makes me so, so, so happy to know that my comments didn’t go to the void, at least now with you…thank you… :’)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AND THANK YOU SO SO SOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH FOR THINKING THAT I PUT SO MUCH ENERGY AND LOVE IN MY COMMENTS KLAJSD ALKGJ ADLKG JADLKGJ ADLKGAJD GLKA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Silly as it may sound, sometimes I do put so much energy into things, and I reblog so many things, that it does tire me out? Which is why, when I first reblogged that artwork of yours, I said that about being exhausted. Sorry if it sounds absurd… OTL

So that you notice that I put energy and love into my comments really makes me so, so, soooooooooooooo happy!!!!! OMg, thank you SO MUCH and immensely for acknowledging that!!!!!!!!! My tags most of the time (or so it feels) go to the void, so that you not only read them, but also acknowledge all the hype I put into them, it really means a lot to me!! ZOMG I DON’T KNOW HOW TO THANK YOU ASLDKFJG LKAJDG AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH ;w;

Thank you so, so, soooooooooo very and so dearly much for everything, dear artist. Thank you for taking the time to read the tags. Thank you even more for having taken up on my request and having dropped by to let me know that you were reading them. It really means a lot that despite how busy you may be and how much of a small blog I am, you still took the effort to write to me as a reply. Thank you for that, so, so immensely.

Thank you for your time and your attention, and thank you for being so immensely, incredibly kind and sweet with me. Besides a super skilled artist, you behaved with me like an incredible person. Thank you so much for being so nice and so friendly, you, wonderful creature… :’)

Thank you as well for sharing your PHENOMENAL art with us!!!! It’s made me so happy and I’m still marveled by it. Thank you!!!

All in all, thank you for everything, dear artist!!!!

I hope you’re having a MOST PHENOMENAL day or night!! Thank you!!! (ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ

#coonreplies #aestrama #coonrants

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