#otherwise I feel like if I keep going down this road it’s going to be a lot more serious next time
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#I just texted a friend that I haven’t talked to in awhile#just wanted to check in#trying to reach out to people that I was close to but for whatever reason we fell out#I desperately need some friends#right now especially#trying to get into crystals and positive energy#cause right now I feel like all I’ve been attracting is negativity#got a ticket for a bullshit weed thing / got covid for the first time / my mom had a health scare / I got in my first car accident#idk man#I need something to change in my life#otherwise I feel like if I keep going down this road it’s going to be a lot more serious next time#and idk if I’ll be able to handle that#ok ok ok#ignore me again#shut up rosie#delete
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The Jedi should have done something about Tatooine and the Hutts. If only they sent Jedi to Tatooine and not just ignored it--
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Oh hi Quinlan. How's Tatooine circa TPM?
Anyway the Jedi should have done something about slavery in the galaxy outside the Republic's borders and not focused just on the Republic--
Huh. The CIS were pretty cool with helping the Zygerrians reestablish their slave empire that the (checks notes) Jedi dismantled.
Anyway, the Jedi should never have joined the war at all. Sure the clone army existed and the clones would have to fight no matter what the Jedi decided to do, and yes, as far as the Jedi knew the clones were created by one of their order and so they had a responsibility to them in whatever capacity they could, and the clones being brainwashed into loyalty for the republic was established so convincing millions of them at once not to fight would be impossible that early on. And sure, Dooku, a Sith, led the galaxy's worst capitalists that wanted to make naboo look like child's play and kill countless civilians if the Republic didn't give in to all their demands, and yes the Jedi were linked psychically to the cosmos in a way where they could feel imbalance, death, and darkness, but they should have taken the moral high road and (checks notes) let both civilians and clones die from droids. Droids who are programmed and aren't going to hesitate about killing anyone. Droids who can't be negotiated with.
Of course they could have... Negotiated with the Sith Lord? Who wasn't actually the head sithlord in charge.
Then again the other Sith Lord who had been duly elected into office wouldn't have allowed that but...they should have tried!
Well they worked with hutts to use hyperlanes for the war they could have chosen not to fight in had actually tried harder! They were lazy and chose the easy path of being forced to dirty their hands because otherwise fascist billionaires and corporations would send programmed droids to kill civilians (like Naboo during TPM) until the Republic gave into their demands (unbridled capitalism which as we recall were totally cool with helping the Slave Empire they previously dismantled become a slave empire again).
The Jedi should have helped people and not tied themselves to the senate. They could have just negotiated with a galaxy worth of planets on a case by case basis.
Listen. Star Wars is a metaphor. It is not a one to one comparison of reality. The Jedi did all they could to help people and they did things that wore them down in body and soul because they had to make that sacrifice or let people suffer and die. There is no alternative in the galaxy they existed in. The Empire that Palpatine made is what they saw the CIS becoming.
Palpatine saw the Jedi as one of the biggest threats to his fascist empire so the plan was always to kill them. It's not illegal to be a Sith he might say, but he certainly made it illegal to be a Jedi.
I would love to know what people think, with the GFFA being what it is, and the size it is, and the Jedi numbering about ten thousand in the end what they were supposed to do as an alternative that would have had any of this end different.
If they hadn't joined the war people would have been enslaved and died and the Jedi would have still been hunted and killed.
If the Jedi removed themselves from the republic in protest of the war but still fought independently to help people they would have lost so much access, more clones for sure would have died, and the Jedi would still be hunted down and killed at the end.
If the Jedi left the republic before the war and were independents they would be slaughtered faster than they were on genonosis because they don't have the numbers. The droid army would get them or the republic run by Palpatine would get them. Keeping in mind Palpatine was elected and the Jedi had nothing to do with his election beyond saving a teenage girl and bringing her to beg her case to the senate on behalf of her people (the death toll was, as we remember, catastrophic).
If they retreated to the mountains and meditated then they just let people die without even trying to help and feel the cosmos become darker and more imbalanced by the suffering they could feel but we're ignoring. And years later Palpatine would show up to kill them because that aspect of his plan would never change.
They should have taken the moral high ground doesn't work in the scenario they were given in the universe they existed in. Not for them. Not when they are powered by empathy. It would have been a corruption of what they stand for if they didn't try to help people. And they tried. It wasn't their corruption that let the galaxy down. The Jedi were aware of their own flaws. They were aware they shouldn't be generals. They knew they shouldn't be commanding a clone army. They were under no illusions that the choices they were being forced to make were good, but even at their most morally questionable they didn't sell out the galaxy. It was the politicians that voted in a mass murdering fascist with thunderous applause to not just be supreme chancellor, to not just have emergency powers, but to be an emperor.
The Jedi even tried a coup. The last thing they would want, but they tried it anyway to hold back a Sith Emperor establishing his empire built on slavery and suffering who would later build a weapon that could destroy entire planets.
The Jedi did not lead to the downfall of the Republic. They were the last shield to be shattered.
#pro Jedi#i need to go and sleep#the thing is star wars is a metaphor but isn't one to one with reality#putting real world logic on the space wizards doesnt work when they arent dealing with real world logic
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The last time when...
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Synopsis : you're an assassin. Your next mission? Get rid of your husband.
Warnings : Sylus × gn! reader, angst angst, death, miscommunication, blood, 1.6k wc.
Notes : if this broke your heart a lil bit, then i will make an apology letter by making a part 2 where they're all a happy family and alive 😓
When was the last time you looked at your husband and thought; how crazy must you have been to be with this as equally crazy man?
Or when was the last time he looked at you and thought; how lucky he was that you were able to tolerate him, to marry him, even.
He knew. And you thought you were able to hide your true occupation just well.
He seemed calm right in front of you while your hands were shaking.
He.. was the target?
Let's take this back to yesterday.
You were pushing your motorbike to its limits as you tore down the dark, winding roads, the sound of gunfire ringing out behind you. Bullets whizzed past you, narrowly missing their mark as you expertly maneuvered the motorcycle to avoid getting hit.
Your heart pounded in your chest as adrenaline rushed through your veins. You could hear the shouts and curses of your pursuers, their voices full of anger and frustration.
Despite the danger and the high-speed chase, you manage to keep your composure and reach for the gun holstered at your waist. With a quick and practiced motion, you whip it out and aim it behind you, training it on your pursuers.
Bullets continue to fly in your direction, but you return fire, hoping to buy yourself some time and discourage them from closing in on you.
You safely escaped, for now.
You were either going to get killed by them or by Sylus if he finds out you put yourself recklessly into danger.
Let alone burrowing his motorbike for this mission.
Stupid organisation, you mutter to yourself as you kick your boots off, the snowy weather certainly wasn't helping with your thoughts either.
You had hoped to leave your old life behind, especially after marrying Sylus. But that was a year ago, and the phone call from your old organization has shattered that illusion of peace. These assholes.
They had one more job for you, a job they think no one can ever successed in, unless it was you.
They didn't even tell you who your target is. Just simply send in you the location instead.
As you push open the door to your shared bedroom, your heart sinks when you see that Sylus is still awake. His eyes are fixed on you, and judging by the expression on his face, he is far from pleased.
His arms are crossed in front of his chest, a stern frown creasing his forehead as he regards you silently, waiting for an explanation.
“i was visiting a friend,” you explain, your grip of steel around the doorknob.
Sylus doesn't seem convinced by your flimsy story. He continues to stare at you, "Visiting a friend," he repeats, sarcastically.
“Mephisto says otherwise.”
That damned crow.
“I'd like it if you stopped stalking me.” You say bitterly. And it's true, his eyes seem to be everywhere, anywhere.
That's why you made sure to quit being an assassin before getting together with him. You wanted a happy, peaceful life as well.
“You're saying it like I'm some sort of creep or stranger.” he drawled, stepping closer to look down at you, and his crimson eyes seem to shine brighter in the dark as he lifts your chin up.
“I'm your husband, i have the right to know why my partner is late.” he squinted his eyes at you before letting go off your chin to turn away.
“Get some rest.” Sylus retreated back to bed. You both didn't speak a word that night, both of your backs facing the other, and you think the weather might have become colder.
—
They have threatened to hurt the people you love most if you don't do this one last mission.
You still feel upset that you didn't clear things up with Sylus last night, you hate fighting with him, but if it has to come down to this, then you'd rather protect him.
You made sure no one would follow you this time, not even Mephisto.
Let's say you did some adjustments on him.
Sorry lil guy.
It's probably not clever to leave your trail of footsteps behind on this particularly heavy snowy day, but they said your target would be here. Right at this time. And this place.
What an odd feeling.
Your body goes taut as you suddenly hear the sound of snow being crushed underfoot. It's a familiar sound that immediately puts you on alert. In a flash, you turn around, your gun gripped tightly and ready to fire.
Sylus.
Your heart leaps into your throat as you recognize the figure emerging from the falling snow.
Shock flood through you, your body instinctively relaxing a fraction as you lower your gun, "Sylus," you exhale breathlessly, the tension in your muscles melting away momentarily.
He observed you with a gaze that felt like it cut deep into your very core. There was no anger in his eyes, no hatred, no rage. Just a quiet resignation. “It's strange,” he says, his voice low, “fate bringing us here like this.”
He wasn't armed. He most likely knew.
Wait, he's.. the target?
He noticed your reaction, but there was no flicker of fear in his eyes. Despite your step back, he continued his approach, slowly and deliberately. His eyes never left you, yet there was not a threat in them, just...resignation...understanding?
Sylus was close, close enough that you could feel the heat radiating from his body, so warm in the cold, he reached out and gently brushed the hair that had plastered itself to your face, to reveal your expression of fear.
“step… back.”
“and why should i do that?”
“I'll shoot,” the words slip from your tongue quicker than you could stop yourself from saying it.
He simply lifted one eyebrow at the sight of the gun now pointed at his chest, unperturbed. “Is that how you greet your husband dearest?” he asks, the faintest hint of a smile at the corner of his mouth with his head tilted slightly to the side.
He was so infuriatingly calm, like there was nothing to worry about.
His smile only widened, and he lifted his hand to rest it on the gun, his fingers gently tracing the barrel, bringing it closer to him, and you gasp, “but don’t you know how much I love getting under your skin, sweetie?”
“Don't—!” you drawed your hand back when his fingertips played dangerously near the trigger, sending your heart to almost stop. You step back again.
He knew you wouldn’t shoot.
“What the hell are you doing?” he said, his voice dropping the smooth façade once you aim the gun at yourself.
“Put that down, now.” he stepped closer to you, your warnings going through deaf ears before he became impatient, resolving this by using his evol, the energy manipulation red and black strands wrapping around your hand and taking the weapon away from your hold to throw it to the side.
Well, you were certainly no match for him.
“I can explain.” You sounded defeated, a fool. You knew you were going to face the consequences if you don't do something now. “I'm really sorry.”
“do that when we get home—”
Sylusd didn't get to finish what he was about to say, and he didn't freeze either when he heard the familiar sounds of gunshots going off.
Gunshots. Aimed directly at you.
He had no time to look around at the source of danger, everything felt like it wad going in slow motion when be was reaching his arm, his body out to protect you and shield you.
Only to find you on your knees in a blink of an eye, your body limp and falling into the pile of snow.
Sylus shouted your name in fear as he knelt beside you, gathering you gently in his arms, his voice a strangled gasp. He held you close, his eyes wild while his hands palpated your body, searching for the wound.
Two gunshots. Shot right through your chest and stomach.
No, no, no.
Sylus has never felt more scared than he was right now, with your crimson blood seeping quickly, melting down with the snow, even when he was taking off his coat and shirt, all to apply pressure on your wound.
He clutched you, his hands trembling, “stay with me," he pleaded, his voice hoarse. "Please, please stay with me.” His mind raced, frantically thinking of what to do, of why the blood wouldn't stop running down, your eyes so tired and almost dull, oh how he felt so helpless right now.
He clenched his jaw, the unfamiliar tears starting to gather around his eyes.
“You’re not quitting on me,” he muttered, the anger in him rising. “You don’t get to quit on me, damn it. You’re not dying on me. Not today, not anytime soon.”
“So—sorry..”
Your last breath. Sylus’ world came shattering down as your eyes lost their light and your body went still in his arms. There was no breath left, no pulse, just deafening silence and the harsh wind.
Your last words were an apology. Not an ‘i love you’ nor ‘take care’.
He refused to believe it. He refused to accept that you were gone, that your lips would never say his name again, that your hands would never touch his skin again.
”Don’t leave me.”
…
“please?”
…
“Are you really.. going to leave me to be alone again? ”
Sylus only remembers seeing red and white that day. The prettiest angel resting in his arms with their precious blood mixed with the cold embrace of the snow.
#love and deepspace#love and deepspace sylus#sylus love and deepspace#sylus#sylus x reader#sylus x you#love and deepspace angst#sylus angst
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i'll always say it's you ; yoon jeonghan
summary: you always used to think that even the end of the world couldn’t keep you and yoon jeonghan apart; you’d find your way back to each other somehow. ten years later, you start to wonder if that’s such a good thing after all.
contains: childhood best friends to ??? to ???, swearing, drinking (+ underage), talk of joshua and cheol's arm muscles, mention of drugs in a joke like once i think, caffeine addiction, peak delusion, jeonghan cheating in games as always, hella yearning
word count: 12.98k
a/n: this is lowkey a mess and probably kind of inaccurate loll but i hope u enjoy! feedback always appreciated xx
the me of today hopes for the you of tomorrow
“What about you, Y/N? Have you ever been in love?”
Hearing your own name slowly zones you back into the conversation at the table. You pause at the question, a drop of soju splashing out of the glass in your hand.
“What?”
“Come on, it’s just a silly question,” the young intern says, rolling his eyes. “You’re no fun, Y/N. We’re off work right now! It’s fine,” he drawls, swaying a little in his chair.
You can’t really remember his name right now, downing the glass in one go, but his bold innocence bothers you. Maybe his demeanor, full of life and promise, is what gets on your nerves.
Were you like that when you were fresh out of college, too? It’s so unthinkable to you now, at twenty-nine. It feels like ages in the past.
“So? Are you —”
“I hardly think this is an appropriate conversation,” you say quietly, zipping your bag shut. “I think I’m going to head out, anyways. It’s quite late already.”
“But —”
“Chan, just stop asking questions and drink this, okay?” His friends try and calm him down with a glass of water. Amidst the chatter, you decide to slip away, silently pushing in your chair and leaving the bustling restaurant.
Dinners like this always end up making you feel worse, anyways, like an outlier at a table of people with fervent hopes and dreams of their own.
You make it two blocks until your phone begins to buzz in your pocket, and you fumble to answer it, knowing there’s only one person who would call you at nine o’clock on a Friday night.
“Hello?”
“Oh, you answered,” Yeonju says, evidently surprised. “I thought you’d still be at work.”
“I’m on my way home now,” you tell her. “Why, did something happen?”
“Kind of,” you hear rustling on her end of the line. “Jeonghan called.”
“Huh?”
You had stopped abruptly at Yeonju’s words— foolishly in the middle of the road, and you rush to the sidewalk, still reeling. It’s been so long since you’ve even heard his name that it sends your mind into a tailspin when she says it again.
“I thought you knew,” she says, “He said he tried calling you first, but you wouldn’t pick up.”
“I don’t answer calls from numbers I don’t have saved,” you remind her. You haven’t had Jeonghan’s number saved on your phone in a long time. There was no need to keep it if you never used it anymore.
“I think you should talk to him.”
“Yeonju,” you shake your head. “Why would I? There’s nothing to talk about.”
“There is, and you know it, too,” she doubles down. “You won’t say it, but I know you agree with me.”
She’s right, as much as you want to pretend otherwise. When has Choi Yeonju ever been wrong about you? Sometimes it scares you how good she is at reading your mind, but as always, she delivers reality checks right when she feels like you need them.
“Maybe,” you admit begrudgingly. “But things are just easier without him.”
“Yeah, well, nothing is ever easy,” she points out, “but take your own time, no rush. And take care of yourself, Y/N.”
“I will,” you say with a faint smile.
“OK, perfect. Call if you need anything else, yeah? I gotta go now.”
“Okay, Yeonju, take care.”
“Bye!”
She hangs up just as you unlock your front door, shutting it behind you and kicking off your shoes. The peace and quiet of your apartment welcomes you, and you sigh in relief as you sink into your couch.
Pulling out your phone again, you scroll through your call log. There are a few unsaved numbers, likely just spam calls, but when you see the same number four times in a row, there’s no doubt about who it might have been. Your finger hovers over the screen; should you? Shouldn’t you?
No, it’s easier to just stay angry. It’s easier to pretend his name means nothing to you anymore.
But even as you toss your phone to the side, Chan’s question still haunts you, like it’s a reminder that maybe you need to retrace your steps and do something different this time.
God, you had finally been able to go a few days without thinking about him, but today just took you right back to square one.
“Have you ever been in love?”
When you close your eyes, all you see is him.
first time feeling my heart race, never thought it'd beat so fast
TEN YEARS AGO
“Yoon Jeonghan, delete that right now or I’m going to kill you.”
Jeonghan shakes his head vehemently, still cackling at the picture of you on his phone. This is nothing new to you; over the years you’ve gotten used to him finding the absolute worst angles of you whenever you fall asleep in class, or on the bus, and it never fails to get you fuming.
In fact, if Jeonghan has one talent, it’s probably pissing you off.
“Not my fault you dozed off like that during lecture! Even Yeonju would have bullied you if she was there,” he teases. “I’ve been collecting bad Y/N photos since we were sixteen and in high school, why would I stop now?”
“You’re evil.”
“Thanks, I know.”
“Dinner’s on you, by the way.”
“What?!”
“Do you want to keep that horrendous picture or not?”
“Okay, fine,” he concedes immediately, slipping his phone into his pocket. “But we’re going back to my dorm first because I left my wallet on my desk.”
"Why would you not have that with you? Dumbass," you scold.
To anyone else, you might sound angry, but somewhere in the unspoken words, you and Jeonghan have already reconciled.
The weather is chilly and perfectly November-esque, and if not for the thick scarf around your neck you’d be shivering by now. Having Jeonghan by your side adds to the warmth spreading throughout your body, a little piece of happiness found in his company.
You’ve never needed to explain yourself to him. Somehow, whatever you’re feeling, whatever’s going on, he just knows, and it’s perfect. You couldn’t ask for anything more.
Not much to your surprise, Jeonghan’s roommate is there when the two of you walk in, blankets piled over him as he hunches over his laptop.
“Hey, Josh,” you greet him. “Everything okay?”
“No,” he frowns, rubbing his eyes, “I may have procrastinated a little too hard on this paper and now it’s due in a couple of hours and I’m totally fucked.”
“This is why I told you to drop that philosophy class at the beginning of the semester,” Jeonghan says, pocketing his wallet. “You don’t even need to take it.”
“Just trying to knock off my humanities electives, but honestly, this one kind of backfired on me,” Joshua admits, defeated. “Where are you guys headed?”
Jeonghan points at you accusingly. “This one tricked me into buying her dinner earlier.”
“I did not!” you gasp. “You walked into that one, stop blaming me for the consequences of your actions! Also, I want ramen, which means we’re going off campus, so you’re driving.”
He narrows his eyes at you as he reaches for his car keys. “You are so evil.”
"Takes one to know one, Hannie."
What throws you off is the way Joshua’s eyes flit between the both of you as you bicker, the way he tells you to have fun in that singsong voice of his as you step back out into the cold, like he knows something you don’t.
You still remember the day you first met him, when Jeonghan left to go grab something after introducing the two of you, and the question that immediately followed.
“Are you guys together or something?”
And of course, Joshua meant no harm — nobody ever does, when they ask something like that. You and Jeonghan have been fielding questions like that since the start of your friendship. Everyone’s wanted to know exactly what it is that you are to each other, and the answer has always come without missing a beat.
Friends, you’ve always said.
Friends in the way that you can’t go anywhere alone in your hometown without being asked where the other one is, the way that your parents always set out an extra plate and ask if he’s joining for dinner as usual.
The right word for it would be ‘inseparable’. Sometimes, though, you wonder if that’s all that it is.
Like now, as you notice the cold has Jeonghan trembling next to you. His teeth are chattering, long lashes framing his eyes that are now narrowed in displeasure.
When you unravel your scarf from around your neck and reach to drape it around his, they go wide in surprise.
“What are you doing?”
“You never wear enough layers, idiot.” You tuck the ends into his jacket and the way he’s staring at you steals the breath out of your lungs.
You can’t run from the fact; your best friend is undeniably attractive. It’s a simple truth, down to his soft but sharp features, the slope of his cheeks, and the hair that frames his face so perfectly. It’s dark out, but Jeonghan’s eyes are lit up like stars. You don’t even realize it until you start to hear your heartbeat pounding in your ears.
“Thanks,” he says with a faint smile. “What would I do without you?”
“Freeze, probably,” you reply flippantly, but you look away, unable to take the intensity of his gaze on you.
Just think about the way he looks at you, Y/N.
Was Yeonju right? You have no way of knowing, and you don’t want to tip the scales by bringing any of it up now.
“Alright, let’s go,” you say instead, tugging him along to the parking lot. “It’s late, I’m hungry, and you promised.”
“Why do you always seem so excited to drain my bank account?”
“It’s my favorite hobby,” you quip. “Shall we go?”
“We shall, m’lady,” he says as you get to his car, pulling open the door for you with a wink. Your cheeks burn as you get in, his defined features etched into your brain.
Yes, he’s your dearest, oldest friend, but Yoon Jeonghan has a certain way of making your head spin that throws that very title into question.
when half of me is gone, how can i live as one?
PRESENT DAY
It’s been exactly three days since Jeonghan called you, and you haven’t heard from him since then. You don’t know what you were expecting. Another call? A text?
No, it would be quite stupid to hope for such things after everything that’s happened.
It’s a quiet Monday night, and your brain decides to take an involuntary trip down memory lane. Ten years ago today, you’d probably be doing homework frantically, most definitely an assignment you’d put off until the night of. Ten years ago today, Jeonghan would be by your side.
Oh, how some things change over time.
After another hour of mindless TV and doing whatnot on your phone, your conscience finally wins the moral battle against your pride, and you scroll down through your call log again. Taking a deep breath, you decide to call him back before your brain can convince you otherwise.
All the words evaporate out of your mouth when he picks up on the first ring.
“Y/N?”
God, it’s been so long since you’ve heard his voice. Just the sound of your name from him is enough to make you tear up.
“... Jeonghan?”
Silence. After a few seconds your heart sinks, thinking maybe he’s hung up on you and gone radio silent yet again.
Then you hear it, just barely whispered into the phone: “I’ve missed you.”
Those words tug at your heart so badly you press your eyes closed to prevent your tears from welling up. “Jeonghan, don’t do this.”
“I’m sorry, I—”
“I haven’t heard from you in over a year,” you cut him off. “A year, Jeonghan. Do you really think you can just ‘I miss you’ your way back into my life whenever you want?”
“Don’t say that,” he implores. “You’re my best friend.”
“Yeah, right.”
“It’s true. I mean it.”
“I’ve heard the exact same line from you so many times,” you tell him, the rest of your words dying in your throat.
You have many more things to say to him, so many unspoken feelings, but now doesn’t feel like the time. Instead, you swallow your anger like you’ve done every time he finds his way back into your life.
“How… how have you been?”
“I’m okay. I wrote a new song,” he says lightly. “Shows have been pretty alright, things are looking up… just the usual.”
“Oh, I see.”
“What about you?”
“I’m okay, too.” A blatant lie. “Jeonghan… why’d you call me on Friday?”
“Oh,” he starts, like he’s surprised you even asked. “Um, I’m actually in town for a bit, so… I was just wondering if you wanted to meet and catch up again. Y’know, like old times.”
It’s the flippant edge in his voice that stings more than anything else, as if he doesn’t care that your friendship hasn’t been the same for years. Do you mean that little to him now?
But, like always, you have a hard time saying no to Yoon Jeonghan.
“Okay,” you agree. “Just tell me where, I guess. And when.”
“Okay.”
It’s not for a few seconds that you realize your cheeks are wet. Jeonghan feels so far away now, the distance hurts like a piercing pain and you have to slap a hand over your mouth so he doesn’t hear you sob against your couch, the stoic wall you put up crumbling away with every passing moment.
“Y/N,” his voice is shaky now. “Y/N, please don’t cry.”
Feeling caught and cornered, your brain enters fight or flight mode, and promptly chooses the latter. “I’m not,” you blurt out, and immediately end the call, tossing your phone across the room so you aren’t tempted to call him again.
If time traveling was an option, you’d go back to a decade in the past without a question. For some reason it hurts more that after all this time, Yoon Jeonghan is still the one that knows you the best.
You wake up the next morning horribly late for work, with a blinding headache and a notification from Jeonghan on your phone.
xxx-xxx-xxxx: is tonight @ semicolon cafe ok with you? after you get off work?
xxx-xxx-xxxx: i won’t take up too much of ur time, i promise
xxx-xxx-xxxx: i’m so sorry y/n
you: its ok. that works, see u then
It’s well past nine o’clock when you finally enter the office. You almost make it to your desk unnoticed until your boss glances at you sneaking in.
“You’re very late,” Seungcheol observes, leaning back in his chair. His gaze is always stern, and today it makes you even more anxious than usual.
“I’m so sorry,” you apologize. “Things just… everything kind of worked against me today. It won’t happen again, I promise.”
“I believe you,” he says, casting another concerned look at you as you nearly drop your laptop going to your desk. “Is everything okay, Y/N? This really isn’t like you.”
“Yeah,” you lie through a tight smile. Damn Yoon Jeonghan and his stupid face for ruining your whole day. “Everything’s fine.”
Looking back, it’s quite impressive how you manage to keep your composure throughout your whole workday. You know you’ve accomplished a feat when even Junhui doesn’t really notice anything’s wrong.
Despite how oblivious he comes across at first, your colleague is easily one of the most perceptive people you’ve ever met, as you’ve learned in the past five years you’ve spent at this company.
“Long day?” Junhui swivels around in his chair as he catches you taking a break from your screen.
“Yeah,” you admit, glancing at the clock. Almost five. “Even longer when we get asked to fix all of the intern’s mistakes. How do you just forget to write a whole method?!”
“God, I hope Lee Chan never gets hired as a backend developer. Love the kid, but I’m not sure how he got through college with his code looking like this.”
“Hard agree.”
“Hey, do you have plans after? Me and the rest of the team are probably gonna get dinner together. None of the interns,” he clarifies with a grin. “We need some peace and quiet. I think Wonwoo’s genuinely at his final straw, he’s been downstairs with them all day.”
As tempting as that sounds — Junhui has a knack for finding the best spots in Seoul — you have something more important on your plate for the day.
“Maybe next time,” you decline. “I have to meet someone after work.”
“Oh?” A sly grin spreads across his face. “Someone special?”
“It’s not a date,” you insist, face heating up.
“I never asked if it was, Y/N, you’re just outing yourself at this point.”
“It’s not!”
“Yeah, yeah,” he teases, turning back around. “Keep me posted!”
You roll your eyes.
The end of the day couldn’t have come any slower. Usually, you’d get so engrossed in whatever you were working on that you’d end up staying late, but today you shock everyone by packing up when the clock hits five, bidding Junhui a good night as you almost run to leave the building.
(“Someone’s in a rush,” he remarks when you turn your computer off. “Don’t be late on a first date, it’s not very polite!”
“Fuck off,” you respond, when Seungcheol is safely out of earshot.)
The walk home almost freezes your fingertips, and you have to shove your hands deep into your pockets to keep them from going numb. You make a note to dress accordingly for the biting cold later.
At least the weather matches your mood today.
The idea of a hot shower turns out to be a little too inviting, though, because when you finally step out, hair wrapped in a towel, it’s 6:28, and you have a text from Jeonghan waiting to be opened.
xxx-xxx-xxxx: i’m here, i snagged a table in the back
“Fuck,” you curse under your breath, pulling on an old sweater and some jeans. You don’t have time to fully dry your hair, so you just run your round brush through it a couple of times, hope for the best, and throw it into a claw clip, praying it stays up.
You’re officially twenty minutes late when you finally get to the cafe — it’s not too far from your apartment, thankfully, but you still had to book it — and you approach Jeonghan slightly panting and out of breath.
(If Junhui was right and this was actually a date, you would be royally screwed.)
“Here, sit,” he pulls out your chair, a little alarmed by your flushed face. “Were you running?”
“Yeah. Sorry I’m late,” you answer, and then you look up at him and the air is knocked out of your lungs as if you weren’t already winded from getting there. He’s even more beautiful than the last time you saw him. “Wow, you…”
“I?”
You’re not even sure what the rest of that sentence was going to be, the words slipping out before you could even think about them. Snap out of it.
“Nothing,” you say quietly.
“How have you been?”
“You already asked me that.”
“I want to know more.” He’s looking at you like he’s trying to memorize your features; it’s hard to ignore.
“I don’t have anything interesting going on,” you deflect. “Tell me about what’s going on with you. You said you wrote a new song?”
Jeonghan’s face lights up when you say it. “I did. I spent around nine months rewriting and perfecting it. It’s kind of like my child, in a way.”
“Yoon Jeonghan, a father. I never thought I’d see the day.”
He laughs, and it feels like a part of your old selves is back. “Want to listen?”
You nod, and he passes you an AirPod and his phone. “Imperfect Love,” you read out loud. “That’s deep.”
“It came from a pretty raw place,” he confesses. “Something that’s kind of been on my mind for a while.”
“Something or someone?”
Jeonghan’s face reflects something akin to panic. “What are you talking about?”
“This seems like a song about unrequited love,” you deadpan. “Doesn’t take a genius to figure it out.”
“Well, it’s not,” he huffs. “Don’t assume things.”
“This is the kind of update I was waiting for. You didn’t tell me you’d found someone!”
“I didn’t!” he insists, concealing a smile. “Will you just stop asking questions and listen already?”
“Alright, Mr. Unlucky in Love,” you tease, securing the AirPod in your ear and pressing play.
The instrumentals are beautiful, and Jeonghan’s angelic voice fills your ears a few seconds later. You haven’t heard him sing in a long time, and you’d forgotten just how ethereal he sounds when he’s pouring his heart into the mic.
The sunlight that happily illuminates this dark world
Becomes a star when night comes
Come down to me
There are many, many things shining in this world
But among them, you’re the only one that’s precious to me
Jeonghan is watching you nervously, like he’s anxious for what you will say. You make the mistake of catching his eyes, because immediately you falter — they are gorgeous, he is gorgeous, and it feels like you lose time with every second you spend admiring him.
Even if I can’t be the perfect weather for you
Will you still love me like this?
It feels like a silent plea — you wonder what kinds of things have happened to him in the past year that you missed, all the things you don’t know about.
Together we become old and worn out
Even if you come to me, who’s useless
At the end of a shining day
I’m happy that it’s you every day
The song comes to an end, and you hand Jeonghan’s phone back to him. His eyebrows raise, like a question.
“Did you like it?”
“It’s beautiful,” you tell him honestly. “I love it.”
A smile breaks out on his face. “That’s good to hear.”
“I’m still convinced you have a secret crush that you’re not telling me about.”
“Oh, not with that again,” he grumbles, waving off your curious questions.
What you don’t tell him is that you’ve missed hearing him sing and watching him perform, that the look in his eyes when he’s doing what he loves most is something you adore. There are a lot of things like that you want to say to him, and as good as the both of you are at acting like nothing’s wrong, the situation feels awfully different this time.
“Hey.” Jeonghan has a glint in his eye, the one he usually has when he’s up to something. “Do you wanna leave and go get tteokbokki and fried dumplings at the night market stands instead?”
Your favorites, from when you were a broke college student and couldn’t afford anything nicer. How did he still remember that?
“Yeah,” you say, already grabbing your things and standing. “Let’s go.”
You had forgotten that it was cold as fuck outside.
You had also forgotten that the food stalls were in the opposite direction of your house, so now you’re stuck walking twice the distance in the freezing weather.
“Are you warm enough?” Jeonghan asks, a bit worried. Stop looking out for me, you want to scream at him. Stop caring. Stop making such a fool out of me.
“I am, but I know you’re not,” you scold instead. “I’ve been telling you for years to dress for the weather.”
“Eh, what’s a little bit of cold?” he jokes, but you catch him shivering violently out of the corner of your eye, and you can’t just watch as he suffers.
“Here.” You pull your scarf off of your neck and hold it out to him. “Wear it.”
“Are you su—”
“Wear it before I take it back.”
You wait until Jeonghan’s listened to you, the warm fabric wrapped around his neck. A part of you thinks you’ll always feel the urge to look after him.
Stop it.
“You still haven’t told me about yourself,” Jeonghan starts hesitantly. “I know I’ve probably missed a lot of things in the past few years.”
“Eight years,” you correct him. “We graduated and then you disappeared.”
“I didn’t disappear, things just got really hectic,” he tries to explain. “Like, all of a sudden everything was on my shoulders, and I had to spend all my time working towards what I wanted. That or it was all just gonna go to waste.”
“Right,” you leave it at that, not wanting to start an argument on the road. This always happens — you’ll run into Jeonghan somehow, you’ll somewhat reconcile, fight, make up, and then it’s radio silence from him again. A year after you graduated college, you stopped looking for news articles on him entirely, actively avoiding any headlines with his name in them. It hurt a little too much to bear. “Well, what do you want to know?”
“Everything.”
You suck in a breath at the quick response.
“Yeonju’s doing well,” you start, even though he probably knows that already. “She has a cat now, actually. She adopted him a couple of months ago.”
“Really? What’s his name?”
“Mandu, because she says he’s round and fat like a dumpling.”
Jeonghan snorts. “That’s like when Josh told us his dog’s name was Bingsu.”
“Oh, I remember that,” you say, faintly reminded of his college roommate. “Um, there’s not much else, honestly. Junhui is still a major pain in my ass, that definitely hasn’t changed.”
“Your work friend, right? I thought you two got along pretty well?”
“Yeah, we do,” you admit. You don’t need to explain any further, because Jeonghan knows that your sarcastic remarks are reserved for those you cherish the most.
“It’s been a really long time since you introduced us,” he muses. “But I still remember him pretty clearly.”
He remembers you, too, you think to yourself, recounting all the times you’ve ranted to Junhui about all the times Jeonghan got on your very last nerve. Just not as fondly.
“Oh! Wonwoo actually joined the same company two years ago. I think I told you this already,” Jeonghan confirms with a nod, “But it’s really nice getting to see him again, I missed when we used to hang out in college.”
“Aw, that must be really nice.”
“And the three of us still work for Seungcheol,” you conclude.
“I remember him, too. The one with the huge ass biceps,” Jeonghan says, a bit miffed. “I don’t think he liked me very much.”
“He doesn’t like randoms coming in during work hours, which is what you did, Han.”
“Oh. Right.”
Despite his short response, you know Jeonghan is smiling to himself right now, and you kick yourself mentally for letting the decades-old nickname slip. The two of you may be on a truce right now, but that doesn’t mean you’ve forgiven him.
A few minutes later, the lanterns and lights of the night market come into view. A little piece of childhood memory burrows its way into your heart. The vendors and stalls may have changed, but you used to love visiting this street with Jeonghan when you were still students.
“I really feel so old right now,” Jeonghan remarks as he follows you through the narrow walkways. “I feel like the last time I’ve been here was when we were eighteen.”
“It probably was,” you say. “Oh! Tteokbokki!”
You don’t even realize the way you’re holding on to the sleeve of Jeonghan’s sweater as you pull him along with you in excitement. He doesn’t say anything, just chuckles to himself as he walks behind you.
“Two cups, please,” you request the vendor when you finally get to the cart, and reach for your wallet. Jeonghan stops you before you can get to your pocket.
“No way,” he says firmly. “This one’s on me.”
“Jeonghan.”
“That voice isn’t working on me this time.” He hands the vendor a couple of bills with a friendly smile. “Just let me buy dinner tonight.”
You cross your arms. “No.”
“Why not? You had no problem doing it back in college.”
“Don’t bring that up now,” you say sharply, stung by the familiar memory. Jeonghan senses the shift in your attitude and drops the subject immediately.
“Wait here,” he tells you. “I’ll be back in a second.”
What are you supposed to do with yourself? Oh, you’re a mess, you realize, the way your feelings haven’t been in check for the entire evening. You were supposed to be so calm and collected, and now you’re anything but.
“Here you go,” the vendor hands you two steaming cups of the spicy rice cakes. “One for you, one for your friend.”
“Thank you.”
The man nods towards Jeonghan, making his way back through the sea of people. “Never let go of someone who cherishes you that much,” he says offhandedly, stirring the tteok in the pot.
You just blink, confused. “What?”
Before the vendor can answer, Jeonghan’s already caught up to you again. “There was nobody in line for fried dumplings,” he tells you excitedly. “Here, have some.”
“Thanks,” you say as you exchange with him for the tteokbokki, ignoring the awkward encounter you’ve just had. “We should probably get out of the way and find somewhere to sit down.”
“Yeah, we should.”
There are a few benches at the corner of the street, and you pick the empty one under one of the streetlamps, a hazy yellow glow cast over it. Sitting down, you bite into the first dumpling, the flavor flooding into your mouth.
“Jeonghan.”
“Yes?”
“Is this shrimp?”
“Yes?” He looks adorably confused in the dim light. “You prefer seafood over pork, right?”
Your heart feels like it’s beating at double the pace. “I do,” you reassure him. “It’s really good. Thank you.”
“Try the tteokbokki, too, it’s just the right level of spicy.”
“I will.”
Just being there and enjoying the food in silence reminds you of how easy it is to just be around Jeonghan. There’s no pressure to break the quiet; it’s comforting and peaceful.
You watch him savor the tteokbokki sauce and smile to yourself when he winces slightly. He’s always had less of a spice tolerance than you.
“Jeonghan?”
“Hm?”
“Are you going to vanish on me again when you leave Seoul?”
The question stops him in his tracks. He doesn’t seem to have the words to answer, and the lack of a response makes your heart sink.
“Why are you thinking about that right now?” he says instead, chiding you gently. “Did you finish eating?”
The way you’re looking at him now, your eyes are imploring him. Please don’t make me empty promises again.
“It’s rude to answer a question with another question.”
Jeonghan rakes a hand through his hair, clearly frustrated. “I’ve never vanished, Y/N, it’s just hard for me to leave my work that often,” he insists, “and besides, you’ve got Junhui and Yeonju and Wonwoo to entertain you in the meantime —”
“None of them are you!” Several people passing by glance over at you, but you can’t help that your voice is rising when you feel the anger bubbling up. “You’re my best friend, Jeonghan, do you have any idea how hard it’s been doing life without you?”
“Y/N, we’re past our youth,” he tries reasoning with you. “We don’t have to be attached at the hip all the time.”
Every word he says is like a knife to your chest. “You shouldn’t have asked to meet up today, then.”
“You know that’s not what I meant.” Jeonghan shuts his eyes, trying to think of the right words. “I just can’t be there for you all the time in the way that you want anymore. You’re stable, you have a solid job, but my livelihood depends on my music and whether people like me or not. That’s the harsh truth of it. And I’m not getting any younger, either.”
“I’m not asking you to be there for me all the time,” you snap. “All I ever wanted was the occasional message. A few updates. Whether you’re doing okay, how your life is going, things like that. Don’t give me bullshit excuses. I know you have thirty seconds to text me back letting me know that you’re alive.”
And stop playing with my heart, you want to add. Whether you’re aware of it or not.
“Fuck,” Jeonghan swears under his breath. “Y/N, let’s calm down and talk about this inside —”
“Don’t you dare tell me to calm down, Yoon Jeonghan.” Your fists are clenched right now. Jeonghan knows this about you; you don’t get angry quite often, but when you do, you are a force to be reckoned with. “It’s always a goddamn cycle with you. You show up, make all these promises, and then abandon me again. What am I supposed to do with that?”
You’re on the verge of tears, but you can’t cry in front of him. Anywhere but here.
“Y/N, I’m sorry,” he pleads with you. “I don’t know what more to say other than I’ve been trying my best, I really have been.”
You’re not having any of it. “Yeah, right,” you scoff, averting your eyes so you have time to blink the tears away.
“I mean it. I want to be there for you, but…” he trails off, voice shaky. “It’s just been so difficult.”
“Save it, Jeonghan.” You don’t think you can be here for a minute longer without totally breaking down. “I should really get going now.”
“Y/N, wait —”
“If you took the subway, there’s a station down that street if you keep walking for a few minutes.”
“Wait,” Jeonghan insists, standing. “Let me at least walk you home.”
“No need,” you retort, turning around and setting off towards your apartment. It’s even colder now that it’s completely dark out, and you start to regret your choice of coat as your teeth chatter quietly. All you can do is thug it out for the remaining three blocks to your apartment building.
The wind stings your eyes and you tear up anyway, despite your attempts to keep it down for now. Why did you think today was going to go any better than every other time this has happened?
Stupid. Your fault for thinking anything would have changed in eight years.
It’s not until you approach the entrance to your building that you hear the quiet shuffling of footsteps. You whirl around, ready to fight, but you stop short when you see Jeonghan standing several feet behind you.
“Just to make sure you got back okay,” he says quietly, walking over to you. You accept gingerly when he places your scarf back in your hands. “It’s late.”
You don’t even know how to feel; you’re too high-strung with too many lines of thought in your brain at the same time. “Thank you.”
“One more thing.” Jeonghan hands you a small plastic bag. You peer inside.
“What is this?”
“Tiramisu,” he says, the corners of his mouth lifting slightly.
“Oh,” you’re confused. “Why?”
It should make you even more furious that he has the audacity to give you a soft smile, but for some reason it doesn’t.
“Happy birthday, Y/N.”
The realization hits you belatedly — how did you manage to forget? — that you were so swamped with work commitments, it had totally slipped your mind today. (So that was why your phone had been constantly buzzing with notifications from Yeonju before you’d put it on silent.)
Jeonghan’s gesture, though, comes as a complete surprise, and it starts to dissipate the irritation from earlier.
“You remembered.”
“Of course,” he says simply, like it’s the most natural thing in the world. “I never forgot.”
just friends, that's not enough for me
EIGHT YEARS AGO
Normally, you are not someone who is criminally inclined.
However, it’s currently five in the morning on a day where you don’t have class until noon, so whoever is calling you at this time is most definitely going to end up six feet under.
You answer without checking who it is first, eyes still closed. “Hello?”
“Happy birthday!”
“Huh?” You lift your head just to be sure you heard correctly. “Yoon Jeonghan, it’s five a.m!”
“I know!”
“Why are you awake?”
“To tell you happy birthday?”
“Thank you, but cut the crap,” you tell him.
“I pulled an all-nighter to finish a project,” he admits. “Worth it, though. I’m the first person who told you, right?”
“You keep forgetting I live with Yeonju,” you point out, glancing over at your sleeping roommate.
“Damn it, Choi Yeonju!”
You grimace at his loud exclamation. “Jeonghan?”
“Yeah?”
“Do me a favor and let me go back to sleep.”
“Okay, but I’m waking you up at ten so you don’t skip your linear algebra class.”
“That class is at noon!”
“Yeah, and you take centuries to get ready, dumbass.”
When ten o’clock does roll around, you’re wide awake already. Yeonju is still fast asleep, so you try to get ready for class as quietly as possible.
jeonghan: i’m outside ur building
jeonghan: hurry up i’m hungry
you: ??? when u said u were gonna wake me up i thought u meant u would call
jeonghan: uhh surprise?
“Are you serious,” you mutter under your breath, haphazardly throwing an outfit on and rushing downstairs. Quickly, you press your key card against the reader and push the door open to the sight of Jeonghan leaning against the side wall.
“How long were you waiting?”
“Long enough. God, you really take forever, but I guess you get a pass because it’s your birthday,” he says begrudgingly, gesturing for you to walk with him.
The weather is quite bleak, but the slight smile on Jeonghan’s face is enough to chase the dreary atmosphere away, like your very own sun.
“Did you sleep at all?” you question, noticing the dark circles under his eyes.
“I tried, but by the time I finished the project it was already seven and Joshua was up, so I just didn’t bother. That guy’s a freak, I’m telling you. I don’t know anybody else who wakes up that early just to go to the gym.”
“Well, you don’t go at all. Maybe that’s why he has those nice muscles and you don’t.”
Jeonghan’s mouth drops open in surprise. “Are you kidding? Is this why you keep coming over? To ogle Joshua Hong’s arms?”
“Yeah, cause Joshua Hong is my best friend,” you deadpan. “Is it such a crime to just appreciate a nice set of muscles?”
“Okay, okay, stop talking about Josh when you’re with me and get in the car,” he urges, fishing out his keys. “Or we’ll be late and you won’t make it to that class.”
“I don’t even go half the time,” you point out. “And you still haven’t told me where we’re going.”
“What I can do is promise you will be happy and fed by approximately half past eleven.” Jeonghan starts the car, adjusting his mirrors. “Is that good enough for you?”
“Deal.”
It strikes you then, beneath the dim sunshine, how good he looks when he’s driving. His eyebrows are furrowed as he focuses on the road, humming along to the song playing through Bluetooth. For all the jokes you throw at him for never being seen at the gym, his arms are quite toned, subtly flexed as he makes a turn with one hand on the wheel.
God, you are so done for.
A few minutes later, Jeonghan pulls into a relatively empty lot. The building is quite unassuming, but you recognize this cafe as the one you frequent during exam season for your coffee fix.
“I love this place!” you exclaim, beaming at him. “How did you know?”
“‘Cause you never shut up about it,” he quips back, grinning.. “Stay here, I’ll just be a minute.”
You hum quietly to yourself as you wait for him to come back, content where you are. There couldn’t have been a better start to your day, aside from Jeonghan’s early morning call, and you think you’d be happy to spend the day just like this, peacefully with him and your closest friends.
In truth, you aren’t really sure how to navigate things with Jeonghan at the moment. Your relationship has always been labeled as strictly platonic, but lately there have been things that make you want to think otherwise. A few stolen glances, the way he looks out for you a little extra… you think you’re going insane.
That, and the way your heart has been reacting when you make eye contact with him lately has been a bit unsettling.
(“Don’t be so delusional,” Yeonju had told you a week ago. “You have a lot to lose here if anything happens. Plus, it’s Yoon Jeonghan, everyone thinks he’s flirting with them.”
“Yeah,” you’d replied flatly. “You’re right.”)
But maybe you’re allowed to be a little selfish. Maybe those sunlit smiles and most vulnerable moments are memories reserved just for you.
The car door opens again, and Jeonghan pokes his head in, handing you a plastic bag as he gets in.
“Sustenance,” is all he says. “Eat before you go to class or I’ll have to deal with your hangry whining after.”
His words sound annoyed, but his tone is soft with you, like it usually is. You flash him a grateful smile before pulling the boxes out.
“What’s this?”
“Avocado toast, but yours has egg on it.” He wrinkles his nose with displeasure at the combination. “Plus a little sweet treat for your caffeine addiction.”
“This is beautiful,” you hold up the tiramisu box. “The caffeine is speaking to me, Hannie. We are one and the same.”
“One would think you’re on drugs.”
“One would think living with a chemistry major would teach you that caffeine is a drug,” you tease, sinking your teeth into the golden toast. You hadn’t realized just how hungry you were until now — maybe you shouldn’t have skipped dinner last night. “Wow, this is good.”
“It is,” Jeonghan agrees, “but I’ll stick with no eggs for now.”
“You’re just ignorant and have bad taste.”
“Again, free pass only because it’s your birthday.” Jeonghan waits for you to swallow, then asks, “So, does twenty-one feel any different?”
“Nope,” you say decidedly. “Why would it? The only thing that’s changed is that drinking is legal now.”
“Oh, and you can gamble.”
“Right, but I don’t have enough savings to do that.”
Jeonghan laughs to himself at a stray memory. “Remember when I turned twenty-one? I’ve never had a night more disastrous than that one.”
“I do remember! Anyone would assume you were a raging alcoholic,” you snicker. “Even Soonyoung felt the need to sober up and help me get you back to your place. Do you know how impossible that is for him?”
Jeonghan looks like he’s questioning his whole life. “Yeah, that is pretty bad,” he admits. “Good thing it hasn’t happened since and I’m a responsible alcohol enjoyer now.”
“You drank a whole bottle of soju before your exam last week because you ‘needed to pregame’ or you’d fail it.”
“... Right.”
The two of you eat in silence, careful not to drop crumbs in his car, enjoying the midday quiet with each other’s company and nothing else. It’s moments like these with him that you cherish the most.
Yeonju’s Don’t be so delusional echoes in your head, like a silent rebuke.
“Hey, we should start heading back,” Jeonghan says, glancing at the time. “Let this be the day that Y/N graces the lecture hall with her presence.”
You groan, not wanting to spend another hour and a half trying not to doze off listening to who is possibly the most boring professor at your entire university. Jeonghan pats your back empathetically.
“It’s okay,” he consoles you, “Just think about how you’ll feel later when it’s all over and done with.”
“I’ll feel like it was a huge waste of time and I could have just asked Wonwoo to catch me up,” you grumble.
Jeonghan’s smile falters a little bit at the mention of your classmate, one of Soonyoung’s friends and therefore a part of the friend group. You still can’t figure out why Jeonghan isn’t too fond of him, but you just assume they haven’t had the opportunity to connect as much and brush it off.
“He got me through data structures last semester,” you offer, trying to defend your point. “Or I’d probably have failed.”
“Right, I remember,” Jeonghan says absentmindedly. You don’t say anything more until you’re back on campus again, picking up on his sensitive mood. When you start making your way to your lecture hall, he follows you, and you let him.
“I’ll walk you to class, I have to print something out at the student center, anyways,” he explains, bag on one shoulder. “Also, you left this in the car. Eat it after class, or whenever.”
You take the plastic bag he hands you, the faint scent of coffee filling your nose. “Thanks.”
Jeonghan fills your ears with silly stories about his friends over the short walk and you listen carefully, always happy to hear about the boys. It’s been a while since you’ve seen them anyways; you’ve been swamped with work, and time that all of you have free together is quite rare.
“I should go in now,” you tell him when you reach the hall. You wish you didn’t have to be here, but you might as well, and Jeonghan can easily read the annoyance written on your face. He pats your shoulder gently.
“It’s okay,” he consoles you. “Come over later so we can all eat cake and listen to you rant about your god-awful professor.”
“Okay.”
“And so you can get an eyeful of Joshua’s arms, you freaking pervert.”
You gasp. “Am not!” you screech, punching his arm.
“Ow!”
“Take it back!”
“Not afraid to speak my truth,” Jeonghan says instead, feigning injury. “This is literally abuse.”
You roll your eyes. “Get out.”
“Go in.”
“Fine,” you huff, pulling open the double doors, but you look back over your shoulder before you let them close behind you. “See you later?”
Jeonghan nods, a twinkle in his eye.
(You won’t know it now, but this is the look on his face that you’ll remember for the rest of your life.)
“See you later.”
Choi Yeonju is, you discover, the lightweight of all lightweights.
That title had belonged to Soonyoung up until now, but tonight even he’s watching her in disbelief from where he’s perched on Joshua and Jeonghan’s couch.
“I only gave her a shot,” he promises you, eyes big and pleading. “I swear on my life.”
“I know,” you sigh, grabbing her sleeve and pulling her away from the wall she’s about to faceplant into. “It’s okay, I’ve got an eye on her.”
“Sorry,” Soonyoung offers sheepishly. “I know you were planning on getting wasted tonight.”
You were not, in fact, planning on that at all. “Who told you that?”
“Jeonghan?”
“That evil bastard.”
The evil bastard in question is currently deeply immersed in a card game with a couple of others at the small kitchen table. The subtle flush on his face tells you he’s a couple of drinks in, and if you squint enough, you can see the silhouette of cards hidden in the sleeve of his jacket. Typical.
“Y/N!” Yeonju taps your shoulder urgently. “I need to tell you something.”
“Yeah? What’s up?”
She grins. “I wanna go to the bathroom.”
“Alright, come on. You gotta stand up,” you inform her gently when she doesn’t budge from her spot on the sofa.
“Comfy,” is all she says, mumbling into the furniture.
“Do you still need to go to the bathroom?”
“No.”
Soonyoung just looks at you in total confusion and shrugs.
“Nothing to do about it until she asks again,” he says before sinking into the couch beside her. He still looks relatively sober — sober enough to handle the situation if Yeonju decides to walk into a wall again — so you tell him you’ll be right back and decide to check in on the game going on.
You walk in on a crime scene.
“You!” Seungkwan throws an accusing finger at Jeonghan, who you can tell is playing innocent through his surprised expression. “You rigged the game!”
“I didn’t do anything! I won fair and square!”
“Count the cards,” Seungkwan tells Wonwoo vengefully. “There won’t be fifty-two, I’m telling you!”
Jeonghan stands suddenly, laying his hand on the table. Everyone else is too busy yelling amongst themselves, and Wonwoo seems to be content with watching them argue, but you catch the way Jeonghan slips the cards in his sleeve into the pile unassumingly.
“Excuse me, boys,” he says smugly, “but I’m going to go on a little victory walk. Don’t mind me, enjoy!”
Seungkwan grumbles, but lets him go in favor of helping Seokmin back into the chair he’s just fallen off of. In the meantime, Jeonghan sidles up to you, faintly smelling of tequila.
“You seem very sober,” he observes.
“I am,” you laugh. “Not entirely, but sober enough to notice the cards you stashed during the game.”
Jeonghan’s face morphs into one of surprise, then mirth. “Shh,” he winks, placing a finger on your lips. That alone short-circuits your brain, so you nearly miss his next words. “It can be our little secret.”
“Oh, you are tipsy tipsy,” you murmur, resting a hand on his shoulder. “I don’t know if you’re up for that victory walk you were talking about.”
“I am! I’m so up for it,” he announces, tucking his arm in yours. “Let’s go take a walk outside.”
“Are you sure?”
“Very.”
“What’s four plus four?”
He rolls his eyes. “Ninety-two,” he says sarcastically. “Please, I’m not a lightweight like the rest of our friends.”
You cast a glance at the couch; Soonyoung has been roped into listening into whatever story Yeonju’s telling him very animatedly, sitting attentively with his back unnaturally straight. He looks a little scared of her energetic narration, which is a first for someone like him.
They should be fine, right? You don’t plan on being gone for long — usually you wouldn’t think twice about leaving Soonyoung and Yeonju together, but in their current state you’re not sure how chaotic they’ll get.
“They’ll be fine.” Jeonghan mirrors your thoughts as if he’s read your mind. His voice feels a little too close, like his lips are right by your ear. Too close, too close — you’re faintly aware of your breathing accelerating, heart running on sheer adrenaline.
By the time you snap out of it, he’s already at the door, turning to find you when he realizes you’re not next to him. “Are you coming?”
“Yeah,” is all you can manage before you grab your coat off the hook and follow him out the door. A part of you wishes Yeonju was sober so she could slap the delusion out of you.
Jeonghan opts for the stairs — “We’re only on the second floor!” — and is waiting patiently at the main door for you. The smile he greets you with is blinding, and his eyes crinkle a little more when you return it.
“Did you bring your keys?”
“Right here.” Jeonghan pats his pocket reassuringly and pulls the door open. “After you, m’lady.”
“Thank you, kind sir,” you laugh, reveling in the moment.
It’s windy outside, and you glance over at Jeonghan, satisfied to see that he’s dressed warmly for once. His hands are stuffed in his pockets and for a man his size, his thick sweater is draped over his body in a way that makes him look a little smaller. It’s adorable, and it just makes you want to reach over and squish his cheeks.
“You’re awfully quiet for a man who just won a game against Boo Seungkwan,” you tease gently. Jeonghan chuckles, rubbing his hands together to warm them up.
“Nothing new,” he says. “Seungkwan just has bad strategy and won’t admit it.”
“Or you just enjoy cheating a little too much.”
He gives you a knowing smile. “Touché.”
You’re not exactly sure where you’re going; you don’t think Jeonghan does, either, but the two of you fall in step together perfectly on the sidewalk. It’s not too late yet, maybe nine or ten, and the streets are relatively crowded, as expected for a college city.
“Do you think we’ll be really different when we’re thirty?”
You look at Jeonghan, a bit surprised at the question. “What do you mean?”
“Like, we’re twenty-one now,” he explains, “Remember when we were sixteen? We had so many ideas about what we were gonna be, and we’re already there. Five years passed so quickly.”
You nod, reminiscent of your childhood days. “We’re gonna hit thirty before we know it.”
“Do you think I’ll be bald by thirty?”
“If you are, I’ll take lots of pictures of you and your shiny head,” you joke. “For memories.”
“Noo, not my hair,” Jeonghan laments theatrically. “My gorgeous, gorgeous hair.”
You can’t even counter that, because it’s true: Jeonghan must have won the gene pool because his hair has always been soft and silky. It’s longer now than it used to be, curling a little bit just under his ears and brushing the back of his neck.
“Soonyoung’s been campaigning for you to go platinum blond,” you inform him. “He keeps saying if you do it, he’ll dye his whole head bright yellow.”
“Highlighter Soonyoung is really not something I want to see.”
The more the wind picks up, the tighter Jeonghan has his arm looped around yours. His lips are pursed, like he’s preoccupied with something else.
“Y/N.”
“Yes?”
“Are we still gonna be friends when we’re thirty years old?”
The subtle, vulnerable tone in his voice surprises you a little bit. Drunk words are sober thoughts, you suppose.
You try to cheer him up, saying, “Why, did you think you could get rid of me that easily?”
“No,” he shakes his head firmly. “Everything is so much easier with you.”
Don’t be delusional, don’t be delusional, is the mantra in your head as you attempt to ignore your rapid heartbeat. The truth is that you agree — the way Jeonghan just gets you makes things so uncomplicated and free.
It’s been this way since middle school, when twelve-year-old you found home in the boy who always helped you sneak snacks from your desk during class when the teacher wasn’t watching.
Jeonghan has always been the first person you think of in a sticky situation; he’s always been reliable, above all, because he knows you would do the same for him without even needing to think about it. He’s been by your side for so long, you can’t even picture what a life without him would look like now.
Your next words would never see the light of day had Jeonghan been sober, but you suppose you can get away with erring on the side of honesty.
“Me too,” you tell him quietly, holding onto him just a little bit tighter. “I like life a little better when it’s with you.”
because i love you, because saying i love you isn't enough
PRESENT DAY
The office is quiet when it’s late at night; there aren’t many people who enjoy staying past their stated hours, but you figure it can’t hurt to finish some additional tasks when you don’t really have much to go home to. You can’t remember the last time you had a day to yourself without worrying about deadlines; the lines of code haunt you in your sleep and fill every waking hour. Every night spent working overtime is a testament to your determination, though it crumbles it a little each time.
Today, though, you’re joined by Junhui and Wonwoo, the three of you working under the dim light. The rest of your team packed up and left hours ago, so it’s just you on this floor of the building.
“I feel like my eyes are melting in their sockets,” Junhui complains, stretching for the first time in what you think is a solid eight hours. “I don’t know how Wonwoo does it.”
“He’s a machine,” you joke. He’s got headphones on, most probably noise canceling, so you know he can’t hear you two. (Or he’s choosing not to.) “I just don’t want to go home with this stuff unfinished because I know I won’t stop thinking about it all night.”
“Wouldn’t be the first time you’ve pulled an all-nighter in the office.”
“Unfortunately.”
Junhui frowns. “You need to take time for yourself,” he expresses. You let him lecture you, even though he’s younger. “Do stuff that you enjoy that doesn’t involve writing code. You know, enrich your personal life.”
“Maybe,” you sigh, putting your head in your hands. “There’s barely any time as of now.”
“Speaking of personal lives, I still can’t believe you won’t tell me about your date,” he sulks. “You’ve always come back with stories about your dates.”
“There haven’t even been that many,” you say at the same time Wonwoo turns around with his headphones off of one ear, asking, “Date? Really?”
You give the man a look. “You didn’t hear us say your name, but that was what caught your attention?”
“Well, Jun’s always talking, but the last time you went on a date was two years ago, so this is news to me.”
“It couldn’t have been that bad,” Junhui reasons. “Everyone has bad dates. It’s a universal experience.”
“Okay, first of all, it was not a date,” you clarify. “I just met up with a friend from college.”
This piques Wonwoo’s interest. “Wait, really? Who?”
“Right, I keep forgetting you guys went to college together,” Junhui mutters under his breath.
“Did you see Yeonju again?”
“It was nobody,” you lie through your teeth, kicking yourself internally for your choice of words. As much as both men know about your ongoing tug-of-war situation with Jeonghan, you don’t really want to bring it up in conversation, and definitely not now of all times. “It went fine, just some catching up.”
“So it wasn’t a date?”
“You really need to stop believing everything Junhui tells you without fact checking it first.”
“Damn,” he says. “And we thought you were finally getting some action.”
“Wonwoo!”
The conversation is interrupted by the low rumble of your stomach in the few seconds of silence that pass afterwards. Both men turn to look at you expectantly.
“I haven’t eaten all day,” you admit, a little embarrassed. “I’m starving.”
“I’ll order takeout,” Wonwoo volunteers, already reaching for his phone. “Is kimchi fried rice okay with you guys?”
“Fine by me.”
“With pork?” Junhui asks hopefully.
“Done.”
The three of you promptly get back to work, aiming to maximize the amount of work you get done before the food arrives and you inevitably break focus. By the time the delivery notification goes off on Wonwoo’s phone, you’ve knocked off about three quarters of your to-do list for the day.
Good enough, you reassure yourself, pulling the sticky note off of your desk and flicking it into the trash can.
Junhui eats in a record time of ten minutes — you swear you’ve never seen him scarf down food this fast before — and starts packing up at his desk, dropping off a couple of notes on Seungcheol’s desk for tomorrow morning’s meeting.
“My girlfriend is going to be so upset if I’m not home soon,” he says ruefully, slinging his bag over one shoulder. “Take care, guys! And thanks for dinner, Wonwoo, I owe you one.”
“Yeah, no problem.”
You and Wonwoo finish not too long after, and you take your time cleaning up the place, making sure everything is thrown away and in its place.
“Are you ready to lock up and go?”
“Yeah, let’s head out.”
It’s not until you’re in the elevator, heading to the parking garage, that Wonwoo speaks up again. A little hesitantly at first, but the concern in his tone is still evident.
“Hey, has everything been good with you lately?”
“Hm?” You look at him curiously, wondering what it was that made him ask. “Yeah, why?”
He shrugs, looking down at you through thick-rimmed glasses. “Just haven’t checked in with you in a bit. Seungcheol’s needed me all over the place lately, so it’s been a while since I caught up with you guys.”
“Right, you’ve been in back to back meetings with the design team,” you muse. “Seolhwa was talking about how chaotic it’s been in the restroom earlier.”
“Yeah, it’s been pretty tough.”
The elevator opens with a ding! and you follow him out, fishing for your keys that are probably somewhere in one of your pockets.
“I parked a little far,” you tell him, “so I’ll get going now. But I’ll see you at tomorrow’s meeting, right?”
Wonwoo just looks at you gently, like he’s seeing right through you.
“Jeonghan’s the one you met up with, isn’t he?”
You freeze. “What?”
“I had a feeling, but it was a little more obvious when you started getting defensive,” he chuckles. “Plus, I think you forget I’ve known you for nearly a decade now.”
You allow yourself to breathe, relaxing the taut muscles in your neck. “I didn’t want to make it awkward,” you admit. “I know you said you guys still keep in touch sometimes. I don’t want to make it weird.”
Wonwoo raises his eyebrows. “Just for birthdays and things like that. We weren’t really that close in college, either.”
Not really knowing what to say, you stay silent, eyes glued to the ground. He seems to sense this and drops the matter, reaching over to pat your shoulder.
“I won’t pry,” he says lightly, “But if you ever want to talk about it, just know you can always call up an old friend.”
You smile. “Thanks, Wonwoo.”
“Take care, Y/N. Get home safe.”
The drive home is numbing. The playlist you have on dulls into background noise as you focus on the road, fighting the urge to yawn. It’s nearly eleven o’clock at night, and all you want is to be back in your bed.
At the back of your mind, all you can think about is the text you woke up to this morning.
yoon jeonghan: hey, i just wanted to tell you tomorrow is my last day in seoul
yoon jeonghan: i don’t know if you want to see me or not, but i’ll be at semicolon cafe working for most of the day. pls drop by if you have some free time. i really miss you.
So typical of him, to leave it up to you to go find him. And yet, you would — if it came down to it, you would go to the ends of the earth if he asked you to.
Yeonju would be furious if you told her you were even considering it, you scold yourself. After all, she’d only told you to speak to him once for your own peace of mind. Last week should have given you all the closure you needed.
Still, your conscience is swayed at the idea of being able to see him again.
You shake the thoughts out of your head, as if the subtle action could erase the pain and longing you’ve felt for the past eight years.
The traffic light turns green. You step on the gas and don’t look back.
even if i can't be the perfect weather for you, will you still love me like this?
SIX YEARS AGO
Jeonghan has been in the studio for hours.
Nothing seems to sound right, and the frustration makes him want to pull his hair out. He can’t even remember the last time he got out of the chair, but he doesn’t want to lose even a little bit of whatever workflow he’s managed to maintain while he’s been in here.
Occasionally, when the weather is just a little dull and time seems to tick by too slowly, he wonders if he made the right choice. Maybe he should have stuck with his career, actually put his degree to use, instead of setting it aside in the name of passion.
He’s vocalized these thoughts to his manager many times, and Jihoon is awfully good at raising his spirits, but the self doubt seeping into his soul is very hard to ignore.
Reluctantly, he presses the play button again, whatever he’s conjured up in the last couple of hours playing in his headphones again. It doesn’t sound any better this time.
Yes, he could swallow his pride and ask Jihoon for help, but after a year and a half of unsuccessful ventures in the music industry, he wants to be able to do something on his own.
Prove himself; to Jihoon, the world, and you.
Jeonghan will never forget your only words to him when he’d first revealed his plan to switch career paths, just a month or two before graduation.
(“I always believe in you,” you’d said, following it up with a comforting hug.
“Always?”
“Always.”)
And when you said that with such conviction, placing all of that trust and belief in his hands, he knew there was no way he could turn back on what he’d set his sights on. In truth, on days where things just seem so bleak, you are his strength, and he wishes he could tell you that.
But when your name comes through on his phone, he falters.
What is he supposed to say? All he can give is excuses, that nothing’s really worked, nothing has panned out in his favor yet. As it is, the two of you haven’t spoken that much since graduating, both of you occupied with your own goals and careers, and at times like these he feels your absence a little extra.
Is this what it means to grow up and grow apart?
For now, he ignores the buzzing, telling himself he’ll come back when he’s snagged his first real achievement. You’ll be proud of him, and he’ll finally make something of himself.
Jihoon walks into the room, closing the door quietly, right when he’s about to listen to the track for maybe the hundredth time.
“Oh, hey.” Jeonghan can hear the exhaustion in his own voice. “What’s up?”
“Wondering when the last time you slept was.” Jihoon sinks into the chair beside him, trying to lighten the mood. “You look like a zombie.”
“Yeah, I feel like one.”
“You need to spend less time in here,” Jihoon advises gently. “Or you’re going to lose your mind. Trust me, I’ve been there.”
“I just can’t figure out what it is I’m missing,” Jeonghan sighs, evidently frustrated. “It’s like, almost there, but not really. It’s been killing me for days.”
“You know, these things do take time.”
“Or maybe I’m just not cut out for this and I should just go work for a news channel instead.”
Jihoon watches him carefully, picking up on his slumped shoulders and tired eyes. “And then you’ll spend the rest of your life wondering what would have happened if you held on just a little bit longer. Do you really want that?”
Jeonghan doesn’t really know what else to say. He’s been hearing the same things from everyone around him — his parents, his sister; everyone talks of a future where he’s already succeeded, but that isn’t set in stone. Nothing is promised, he knows.
“I need a miracle,” he mumbles instead.
“You need to eat,” Jihoon corrects. “I just placed an order for dinner, and I know you like sundubu-jjigae, so you have no excuse to bail on me this time.”
Jeonghan considers this for a moment, then gives in. “Fine,” he says, “but I can’t stay too long.”
“Good.” Jihoon rises, and then places a hand on his shoulder reassuringly. “I’m proud of you. You’ve been working really hard.”
“Thank you.”
He’s alone again, when the door closes behind the shorter man. It’s something he’s had to get used to; he’s learned to rely on himself over the past year or so, but when the reality of loneliness sinks in, it breaks his heart just a little.
Even more so knowing that it’s his fault that he’s pushed everyone away, including you.
Your name is still burned into Jeonghan’s brain, and his fingers itch to respond, but he ignores the urge. His phone is left forgotten as he slips his headphones on again, tinkering with the unfinished track.
And the thought of you dissolves into the music.
we used to be best friends, i remember you said you can be yourself when i'm around
PRESENT DAY
Today is the day that Choi Seungcheol learns that you are full of surprises.
In all your five years of working for him, he’s never once had you call in sick for work or ask for a day off. You’ve always been hard-working, maybe too much at times, but he sounds like he definitely didn’t anticipate this.
“Oh,” is all he says when you request the morning off. “Yeah, sure. Are you feeling alright?”
“Not really, but I will be before the client meeting at three, so I’ll be present for that.”
“Oh, all right. We’ll see you then.”
“See you.”
It weighs on your conscience that the first time you request time off also happens to be the first time you blatantly lie to your boss, but you’ve already deliberated this enough with Yeonju over call last night.
(“I’ve been such an honest worker,” you said dramatically, “and now I’m running all that to the ground.”
“Don’t be so theatrical. Choi Seungcheol can afford to give you half a day of paid leave.”)
Now that you’ve settled that, you grab your heavy winter coat, setting out into the morning cold. Damn Yoon Jeonghan for making you move your whole day around for him. You had predicted correctly that Yeonju would berate you for it — you sat through a lecture over the phone last night — but that hadn’t deterred your resolve to see him again.
Who knows? His behavior is so erratic that even you, who knew him like the back of your hand at one point, can’t predict him anymore. Today could very well be the last time you see him for another few years until he decides he has the time for you again.
Whatever, you huff to yourself as you walk briskly, knowing that as upset as you get, the soft spot you harbor for him will never go away.
You had worried that it would be a little too early, since it’s only eight in the morning, but you have no problem finding Jeonghan in the sea of caffeine-deprived corporate workers getting their fix in the small establishment. He’s engrossed in his laptop, and he doesn’t realize you’re there until you take the seat across from him, waiting for him to look up.
“Oh,” is all he says, pushing his screen down. “I didn’t think you’d come.”
You sigh. “Yeah, I didn’t think I would, either.”
Jeonghan gives you a sorrowful look, hair fluffy like a halo around his face. “I’m trying, I really am.”
“Jeonghan —”
“I’m juggling so many things at once,” he says quietly. “And I never wanted you to think any less of me. I wanted you to be proud of me..”
“I was. I still am.”
“But I still haven’t done anything.” He sounds more agitated as he speaks. “I haven’t gotten anywhere, I’ve barely made a name for myself. Nothing I do is paying off.”
“You’re trying, though,” you tell him. It saddens you to see him like this. It’s not often that Jeonghan talks about how he feels, especially not now that you’ve grown so distant. “And you don’t have to go off and accomplish great things for me to be proud of you. I already am.”
He’s quiet, like he’s dwelling on something.
“I’m sorry,” he says a few seconds later. “It’s just all been such a mess.”
“That’s okay.”
In the silence between those two words are many more that don’t need to be spoken for him to understand. You’re doing okay. Everything will turn out okay.
“I wish things could go back to the way they were,” he says again, eyes a little shiny when he looks back at you.
Nostalgia fills your brain, all of those treasured memories with him resting in a well-lit corner of your heart.
“You know, it really hurts, Han, to keep doing this push and pull with you.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry, too.”
“Don’t apologize,” he laughs wistfully, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Shit, I never meant to hurt you, Y/N, honestly. And I’m really trying to be better about it. Things are looking up now, I think. It’s getting a little easier than before.”
“I’m glad to hear that.” You offer him a reassuring smile. “I knew you could do it.”
“How…” Jeonghan starts tentatively. “How long are you here for?”
“I’m not sure,” you reply, fidgeting with one of your bracelets. “Not too long.”
“Are you going to have something to eat?” An olive branch.
“I have food I meal-prepped at home.” A subtle denial.
The silence is loud. You try to think of something, anything to say to fill it, but you come up blank. There’s not much else to be said in the fraught air between the two of you. Not now, anyways.
“I’m sorry, I should let you get back to work,” you say suddenly, eyes landing on his half shut laptop. “I didn’t mean to take time out of your day.”
“That’s okay,” he says softly. “I’m really glad I got to see you.”
“Have a safe trip to… wherever you’re going.”
He chuckles. “Just Jeju, but thank you.”
Before you leave, you reach for the scarf loosely wrapped around your neck — your favorite one you’ve had since college, the plaid cream-colored one — and you set it down on the table. He just looks at you questioningly.
“Why…?”
“It’s cold,” you say with a faint smile. “You haven’t changed, Yoon Jeonghan.”
“Thank you.”
You take the time to memorize him — the curve of his face, the soft look in his eyes, the one reserved for you and the ones he holds close. If you could etch his features in your brain here and now, you would.
“Well,” you start, swallowing the lump in your throat. “Don’t be a stranger, Han. The next time I see your name, it better be a call from you instead of another news headline.”
Jeonghan nods, eyes forming crescents. “I’ll do my best.”
And there is something to be said about the love in looking back, for sure, but there is also love in not looking back, in choosing to keep your eyes trained on the path before you. There is love in knowing your weaknesses, that if you turn around you might not be able to walk away after all.
You don’t release the breath you’re holding until you walk out the door. It’s raining, you realize with a start, the previously clear sky clouded over. It seems that your overcast heart has been mirrored by the earth.
The rhythmic droplets provide a strange sense of comfort as you let yourself get soaked, for lack of an umbrella. It works in your favor, anyway, because nobody will assume anything’s amiss if your face is already drenched.
Pit, pat. The smell of wet soil rises in your nostrils, and you let the tears fall.
no matter where i am in the world, i'll say it's you
FOUR YEARS LATER
The lights are blinding, and the sounds of the camera shutters are incessant. But this is the life Jeonghan has always dreamed of, so he doesn’t dare complain.
In truth, he doesn’t care for a lot of the interviews he’s been asked to do — he can’t be bothered by the mundane, mind-numbing questions he gets asked over and over again. Nothing ticks him off like the insensitive digs into his personal life they always ask him, searching for information he doesn’t wish to disclose.
But he does it, anyway, because what choice does he really have? It’s good for your image, Jihoon always tells him, adding another event to his schedule. It’s for your public platform.
“So, you’ve come out with another hit single,” the interviewer starts, beaming at him. His teeth are so artificially white, they seem to reflect the bright studio lights. “How does it feel to accomplish such a success yet again?”
“It’s really great,” Jeonghan answers honestly. “I’m very grateful to my manager, producer, and my beloved family. And, of course, all of the wonderful fans. I couldn’t have done any of this without them.”
“A touching answer as always, Jeonghan-ssi.” The man flashes a smile at the cameras. “Your new single To You was really well received by fans, especially for its fresh and passionate take on what it feels like to be in love.”
The blazer feels stiff now, under the heat of the lights. Jeonghan tries not to dwell too deeply on the true inspiration for the song he’d written late at night a couple years ago, overcome by his own heart.
“I’m really glad that everyone’s been enjoying it so much. That really was the intention,” he says, “to have a song that makes you feel like you’re floating.”
“And it does!” the interviewer laughs. “A lot of viewers really appreciated the sincerity of feelings that was conveyed through the song. Which raised the question; have you ever been in love before?”
Something akin to a late realization suddenly hits Jeonghan right there in the hot seat, under all those lights and cameras. His hand comes up to toy with the end of the scarf he’s wearing, a keepsake of treasured memories.
“Maybe,” he says with a wistful smile.
Wherever you are in the world right now, there’s a small part of him that dares to hope you’re watching.
“Maybe I have.”
thank you for reading! if you have any feedback, i'd love to hear it :) much love, ashi xx
#jeonghan x reader#svt#seventeen#svt x reader#seventeen x reader#svt one shot#svt fics#svt jeonghan#yoon jeonghan#jeonghan#jeonghan friends to lovers#jeonghan one shot#jeonghan fics#kpop fanfic
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emotional support boyfriend
oscar piastri
cw: smut, agoraphobia, oscar is a sweet boyfriend, plot, fluff, gentle sex, praise kink, slight angst, depictions of violence, trauma
this bunny runs on comments & reblogs! feed the rabbit!
you swallowed, "this is silly. i don't need an emotional support boyfriend, my love." oscar was seated beside you at the stairs as he got his sneakers on.
"not a big deal, i'd be sitting on the couch otherwise."
oscar had been really good after the... incident you witnessed only four months prior. you wished that it had happened at a location further away from home, but it was rather only a few blocks from your flat. you had been avoiding it as much as possible, but it was hard. and it still left you shaken.
when you got up from the steps and waited for oscar to do the same you watched him stand up then zip your sweater up to your chin before he kissed you on the lips.
it was simply going to the store, getting a few items for dinner then walking home. ever since the incident, you had taken alternate routes that doubled your time getting there and back, or having oscar do it if he was home. you wanted to avoid the intersection as much as possible because the anxiety you felt was a lot.
it was easier to just avoid it, but your therapist thought that maybe it would be good to try and approach the anxiety more head on. and while you were comfortable with doing it alone. oscar wanted to be there just in case.
the walk started slow, you held onto oscar's hand as the two of you walked down the main road. oscar kept close to you, he was a grounding presence.
oscar chatted with you and you smiled. you held onto him a little tighter when a motorcycle went by. and he simply leaned in to kiss you, continuing talking. you passed by the bus stop without much fanfare, at least your brain felt a little quieter. the anxiety of the event didn't wash over you into a panic.
"here. for a job well done." he said as he slipped a bar of your favourtie chocolate into the basket.
you giggled, "i don't need treats like a dog."
oscar kissed your cheek, "not like that. i'm proud of you." and while it all felt a little silly, you appreciated it. to know that whatever progress you make about your intense anxiety, you weren't going to do it alone.
when you got home, you felt better than other times you were in the area. you didn't feel the throb of dread in the pit of your soul and the anxiety rush up into your chest. while a little shaky when you walked by the bus stop, you managed to pass by it not once, but twice. oscar there the entire time to support you.
"you did so well."
you swallowed, "it was just a walk." you made a face when he kissed along the bridge of your nose, "nothing too serious. wasn't like i had to tend to another victim." the words felt weird on your tongue.
four months ago while walking back home from work, you saw a belligerent drunk man attack another man at a nearby bus stop. the man was hit and bleeding and you tried to tend to the gash in his head while another man who was walking the opposite direction of you tried to talk the drunk man down. the police were called and you were interviewed while oscar heard the sirens and came down the street. you weren't home and he was worried. you were told you did good by everyone and that he would be "perfectly fine". but you were left rattled and going near that intersection made your blood run cold.
oscar kissed your lips, "no need for that, love." he kissed your cheek with his hands on your face lovingly, "you did so good. your therapist will love hearing about this. i'm proud."
you felt something flutter in your chest and you rested up against your boyfriend. you know he worried, he kept his phone on silent while working unless it was a message from you. just in case.
it wasn't till after dinner that you got more cuddly with your boyfriend. the food felt filling and your brain didn't feel rattled. it was a success and you wanted to keep riding that high. and that left you two in your shared bedroom with oscar's lips on you.
his hands up your shirt, he asked, "is this okay?"
you nodded, "perfect. it's amazing. yes, oscar, yes." you then giggled before you put him in for a hot kiss and let his hands explore your body. you felt warm all over as he felt you up. he was a gentle lover, he always had been. you didn't believe there was a bad bone in his body, except maybe in the heat of competition.
but he'd never lay a hand on you unless he had your consent. your enthusiastic consent. sex was meant to be fun so to hear you giggle as he got your shirt off excited him.
"you did amazing today, my love.' he said as he got into your space once more. your chest up against his as he got you onto the bed. soon you were both undressed and you laid there out on the bed under your lovely boyfriend.
his hands careful on your hips as he rubbed up against you. you moaned softly as you could feel his hard cock up against you. your heart hammered in your chest, but not in a way that scared you. but rather you felt excited all over.
you looked up at him and he got between your legs, he rested on his heels and his cock stood at full attention. before he could say anything you spoke, "i want this, oscar. please. i don't want anyone else."
he broke into a smile and said, "well, i can't say no to that."
you shifted your body a little to give him more access to your soft skin. he ran his fingers across you and you shuddered a little bit before he took a hold on his cock to guide it inside you pretty cunt. he shuddered when he felt your wetness across his length.
he started to move slowly, and his words poured like a fountain. and it made you feel hot all over you. he leaned forward and pressed his chest to you.
"you look so good." he said, "i love you."
you felt a little heat in your cheeks as you moved against him. your nails held onto his shoulders as the two of your moved together. you whined, "you don't need to praise me, oscar."
he chuckled and kissed your jaw, "yes i do. i want to praise you." he held onto your hips and moved a little faster. he loved the feeling of you, he also loved spending time with you. being with you was a treat for him and it made him feel hot all over.
the kisses continued, loud and wet in your shared bedroom. he moved against you. his cock felt snug in your pretty cunt, like a perfect fit for the both of you.
"you look beautiful." you giggled as you scratched across his shoulders. you could feel the shudder of want through your body.
he laughed, "no, no. you're beautiful. you're the beautiful one." he kissed the corner of your mouth, "i'm just your boyfriend. you're the real star." he cupped your breasts between his hands for a moment as he moved against him.
you blushed more, "you flirt." you tightened your legs around his waist as he moved against him. the kisses continued as he moved against you.
"only for you." he blushed. you covered your face but oscar quickly took them away and said, "i want to see you." he smiled down at you.
"okay. okay." you giggled.
you would've thought all about the romantic moments with oscar. but the pleasure coursed through your body even heavier as he laid more kisses onto you. his hands played with your chest as he moved against you. and you moved back against him. it was a hot feeling between the two of you, like a wire that connected you.
your cheeks stained with heat as the two of you really rutted against one another. your lips felt tender from all the kisses. oscar gazed at you with love and even cupped your face for a moment. it felt nice to feel his big hands across your face.
oscar would always make sure you were okay. always.
you held onto him and placed wet kisses onto the side of his neck. when you held on tightly, you climaxed. your back arched a little to be closer to him as the pleasure clawed through your body. your eyes squeezed shut a little bit. and your heart pounded in your chest.
"i love you." you said.
"i love you too."
he came soon after and held onto the covers on either side of you, he didn't want to bruise you in his hard grasp. you took him by the face and messily kissed him. which made the driver melt a little at the feeling. he groaned into the kiss as he rocked against you a little more, which made your toes curl.
when he eventually stopped, he broke the kiss and looked at your blissed out. oh, you looked gorgeous. he pulled out of you and got down on the bed beside you. he got a strong arm over you and looked at you. he peppered your forehead and cheeks with kissed. a silent praise as you both tried to come back to earth.
"you did so good." he said when he was able to find the words. he also pulled you up against his bare chest.
you wrapped an arm around him and buried your face into his neck. you felt protected and loved. you were cared for in ways that you couldn't find the words for. it was comforting feeling that made you believe that any progress could be made about all the mental aches and pains.
he kissed you on the lips once more and said, "i love you." <3
#bunny writes#reader insert#formula 1#formula one imagine#formula one smut#formula one fanfiction#f1 smut#oscar piastri fanfic#oscar piastri x you#oscar piastri#oscar piastri imagine#oscar piastri x reader#oscar piastri smut#f1 imagine#f1 fanfic#f1 x reader#f1 fic#f1#formula one#formula one x reader
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wait i’m crying imagine helping luke with his curl routine and you being the only person he trusts to touch his hair
“luke, hold still,” you tell him, massaging the diffuser around his head.
“it tickles. and it’s really warm,” he argues, twitching again, causing you to huff in frustration.
luke’s currently crouched down in front of you in his en-suite bathroom, sitting not so still while you try to do his newly implemented curl routine.
“honeybee, my knees hurt, we gotta take a break,” he pleads, bouncing slightly.
you turn off the hair dryer and let him stretch his legs to his full height.
“you know, if you’d let me make you an appointment at a salon we wouldn’t be in this predicament,” you tell him, looking up at his lop-sided curls.
a few weeks ago you convinced luke to start a curl care routine, knowing his hair was in desperate need of some TLC. when you first started dating, you saw the 3in1 bottle sitting in his otherwise empty shower and immediately dragged him to the nearest salon supply store to get a curl specific shampoo and conditioner set.
once he finally agreed to start a whole routine (with your help, of course) you picked out several creams and gels to lather into his hair after every shower.
so your new pre-bedtime routine, three nights out of the week, is making sure his hair is hydrated and taken care of. when you suggested letting a professional do a generalized curl care appointment to get him started, luke refused, arguing that you could do it just as good as any salon can.
“i told you, i don’t want them touching my hair,” he reiterates to you, giving the same response every time you suggest it to him.
“luke, they’re literally professionals. they know tricks that i don’t. maybe they could even do something to your hair that lasts for a few weeks, so we wouldn’t have to do this several nights a week. plus, it would help when you’re on the road,” you try to persuade him, reaching up and ruffling his curls around with both hands, trying to keep it from drying unevenly.
the first time he was on the road and it was a hair night, you tried to call him and walk him through it, but he claimed his hair didn’t turn out as soft and shiny as when you do it.
the next time, you had jack come and watch how you did it one night, having him step in to help luke since they typically room together, but he said jack didn’t do it right and he came out looking like he had a clown afro the next day.
“i don’t care. it’s just hair, it can wait until i’m back home,” he grabs your hands, pulling them from his hair and placing them on his shoulders.
you scoff in offense, swatting at his chest. “it is not just hair. it’s one of my favorite features of yours!”
“still doesn’t mean i’m going to let some stranger at a salon get all touchy with it,” he shrugs.
you roll your eyes at his stubbornness, not knowing why it’s such a big deal.
“if you don’t want to spend the money on it, i’ll literally pay for it. i just think it’d do some good, i don’t know why you’re so against it,” you offer.
luke shakes his head no, reaching up to move a stray piece of your own hair out of your face. “s’not the money,” he assures you. “it won’t feel as good as when you do it. love the feeling of your fingers all in my hair. s’comforting,” he says so casually, not even aware that his words caused butterflies to erupt in your belly.
you feel your face flush, biting your lip to hide the smile trying to break out on your face.
“well i’m not saying i’ll stop doing it. i’m just saying that maybe a trip to a salon once a month might prevent more bad hair days on the road,” you try to compromise, not wanting him to know how much his words affected you. you didn’t want to give him more reasons to refuse the idea.
“and i’m just saying, i don’t want anyone but you touching my hair,” he leans down to press his forehead against yours, locking his wide eyes onto yours dramatically.
before you can get a reply out of your mouth, he leans forward and presses his lips to yours, taking your hands off of his shoulders and bringing them up to his hair, emphasizing his point.
you toy with the flat curls, forgetting what you were meant to be doing until your fingers came into contact with a wet patch.
pulling back from the kiss abruptly, luke lets out a frustrated whine while chasing your lips with his.
“we have to finish drying your hair! if i don’t finish it soon it’s gonna dry all flat on one side because we didn’t diffuse it properly,” you pull back from him completely, grabbing the abandoned hair dryer on the counter.
luke groans, stomping over to stand in front of you, crouching back into his earlier position.
“just hurry. if we do this too much longer i’m going to have to tell my coach i can’t skate because i have stiff knees from my girlfriend’s curl routine she makes me do,” he crosses his arm and pouts like a child.
“keep up the whining and i’ll make jack do it next time,” you threaten, turning the hairdryer on and continuing the task at hand.
luke’s body tenses. “i swear to god if you bring jack over here to do my hair again i’m shaving it off.”
“you wouldn’t,” you gasp at him, not believing he just said such a thing.
“try me,” he responds, smirking at you through the large mirror.
#i have no clue how to take care of curly hair so i hope this is right#just go along with it#alliyaps#luke hughes#new jersey devils#luke hughes fluff#luke hughes fic#luke hughes fanfiction#luke hughes x you#luke hughes x y/n#luke hughes oneshot#luke hughes blurb#luke hughes x reader#luke hughes fanfic#lh43#hughes brothers#hockey#nhl
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uniformed!joel one shot - the police officer - part ii
part i | series masterlist | main masterlist
pairing: police officer!joel x f!reader.
summary: what? you really thought officer miller was done with you? 🙄 don't be so naive. he's going to make good use of that cell he's thrown you in.
a/n: am i a rabid dog who needs to be put down? yes i am. you'll find me taking a walk and touching some grass because oh boy 🥵 please enjoy part ii to police officer!joel. as always, all interactions are welcome! i'd love some feedback if you feel like sharing. yea, that's everything i gotta say, i'll go hide under a rock now. thank you for reading! <3
warnings: 18+, mdni. no outbreak AU. dark theme. a hella lot of unhealthy smut. dub-con. age gap, no age gap, you choose (joel is mid-late 40s, reader is at least of legal drinking age). power imbalance (joel is a cop). object insertion (oopsie 🥴). fingering. squirting. oral (m and f receiving). strong sub/dom vibes. mouth fucking. slut shaming. cheating. reader talks to boyfriend while being drilled. unprotected piv. creampie. overall, rough, filthy sex. joel is a bully and a dick, basically, so be warned. alternating pov. no description of reader apart from having hair that can be pulled. not proofread so i'm sorry.
w/c: ~7.7k (someone put me down, seriously).
tagging some people who seemed interested in part 2 (please let me know if you want to be removed, no pressure!):
@cestlavieinrenaissance @ijustlovemensm @fartcloudfartcloud
Joel looked through the rearview mirror. You were sat on the middle seat of his cruiser, silent and with your gaze down. You almost looked like you regretted what had happened, but he knew you had actually enjoyed it. Your slutty moans and your squirting cunt spoke for yourself ― the proof of your ecstasy still staining his uniform’s trousers.
He adjusted the mirror, paying more attention to you than to the road. Luckily, it was well past midnight, so there were not many cars around. You had parted your legs, probably on purpose, and gifted him with the sight of your tight pussy. Joel wished the interior of the car was better lit, so he could have a good look at your cunt.
Ah, yes, he knew you wanted more. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be exposing yourself like that to him. His cock twitched at the memory of being clamped down on by your narrow pussy, deeply buried in between your puffy lips. Joel bit the inside of his cheek, focusing his eyes on the road ahead.
“Is my cum spilling out of your hole?”, he broke the silence.
You felt the guilt eating you up. You shouldn’t have pushed Officer Miller’s buttons like that. You blamed the last drops of alcohol running through your veins that had distorted your reality ― as soon as they disappeared from your system, you had realised that you didn’t want what was about to happen. However, your body had betrayed you, reacting to him and his provocations.
I’m not a cheater. I’m not a whore, you chanted, keeping the tears at bay.
But deep inside, you knew you were just lying to yourself. You blamed your body, but the reality was you did enjoy it ― all of it, everything he gave you, everything he took from you. You had never been so turned on in your life ― never squirted before, never had your pussy eaten so filthily from behind, never been used like that.
You pursed your lips, eyes down and still daydreaming about him fucking you senseless ― you unsuccessfully attempted to erase those hot flashes that your mind was trying to take you back to. Unconsciously, your legs had relaxed with your train of thought, and that was when you heard Officer Miller’s question.
You jumped in your seat and pressed your knees together, suddenly very conscious of your pussy. You could feel you had gotten wet again at the mere thought of him jackhammering into your cunt on top of the hood. Once more, you felt betrayed ― you didn’t want to feel like this, you didn’t want to be this horny for him.
You slowly nodded in reply, ashamed of yourself ― your unwelcomed slick dragging his cum out of you. But you wouldn’t tell him that, you wouldn’t let him know that your hole was crying for more.
“I― I think I’m making a mess of the upholstery. Sorry.”
Why did your voice sound so high-pitched, so moany? You needed to get a grip of yourself or you were going to end up impaled again. You kept your eyes down, avoiding his ― tears of frustration gathering on your waterlines.
“Only with my cum? Or are you gushing again, doll?”, he questioned with a husky voice.
You knew he was getting horny again ― your nipples reacted to that thought, wrinkling suddenly, your breathing accelerating.
You shyly looked up at him, your gazes meeting on the rearview mirror. His eyes pierced through you and you felt exposed ― there was no point in denying it, you knew he knew. So you nodded again with watery eyes.
“Yes, sorry”, you apologised, although you were not sure why.
“Yes what?”, he insisted, his attention dancing between the road and you.
“I’m― I’m gushing”, you replied in a very low whisper, so abashed a tear ran down your cheek.
Officer Miller didn’t say a word for the rest of the trip to the station, so you had more than enough time to dwell in your embarrassment.
Joel’s horniness was clouding his mind to a dangerous degree, so he summoned all his strength to drive the damn car instead of stopping in the middle of nowhere to fuck you again. After fifteen eternal minutes, he braked as he steered into the parking lot of the station. Then the cruiser came to a halt.
He had to cup his swollen bulge, kneading it a bit, in the hopes it wouldn’t be too noticeable. What a little minx you were, confessing your pussy was leaking all over the seat. You were acting all sheepish now, guilt-ridden, but Joel knew what you really wished for. And that was getting your cunt drilled again.
Walking out of the car, Joel got to the back door and opened it up for you. He extended his hand to help you out of the car, all gentlemanly. But when you grabbed it indecisively, he hauled you out of his Crown Vic. You gasped at his brutish manners, but quickly closed your mouth when your breasts pressed against his chest.
Joel hurried his hand down, riding up your skirt a bit, his fingertips caressing your inner thighs. You looked at him, a mix of surprise and shame, when he dipped his fingers in your silky slit. He moved them up and down a couple of times, buttering your fold with your discharge and his cum. You panted at his contact and your forehead leaned against his chest as if your neck was unable to support the weight of your head anymore.
You were so receptive to his touch, Joel had to control himself. If he could, he would turn you around, bend you over and fuck into your hole until dawn. But another patrol car entered the parking lot, stopping a few metres away. He scoffed in frustration, reluctantly removing his hand from in between your legs.
Stop, don’t, please stop, you wanted to tell him.
But the words never abandoned your mouth, stuck in the back of your throat. His fingers stroked you so intimately, so good, you couldn’t muster the strength to stop him. And, if you were completely honest with yourself, deep down you hoped he didn’t. When his digits traced your whole damp furrow, you tilted your head towards him ― your lips pressed against the pocket where he had kept your panties, in an attempt to mute the moan that wanted to slip out of your mouth.
And then he unburied his hand, leaving you spiralling down with lust. You whimpered, vexed. Your eyes were still half-lidded with desire, your mouth agape. Officer Miller took a step back, breaking all physical contact with you.
“You really are a harlot”, he muttered while the hand that had explored your pussy dipped in his pants, and you knew he was spreading your gush all over his cock. That should have disgusted you, and it did, but your pussy fluttered in response.
“Please don’t say that, and don’t do that again”, you were finally able to find your words.
He cocked a brow while taking out his hand of his trousers. You didn’t look down, although you wanted to. The thought of him wet with your tacky cum destroyed a few neurons in your brain.
“Your mouth says no, but your cunt says yes. And I believe your cunt more than I believe your mouth”, he announced, unbothered by your petition.
Then he rolled down your skirt, grabbed you by the elbow, and forced you to walk in front of him. But first Officer Miller got something out of the passenger’s seat ―your purse and the paperwork― before he pushed you towards the station with your hands still cuffed.
You pondered your options when the female officer on the counter greeted Officer Miller.
“Hey Joel, another drunken bird?”, she asked, her blue eyes ignoring you completely.
“Yeah, that’s a Saturday for ya”, he said boringly, his fingers still sinking in the flesh of your elbow while he handed her your license and insurance.
“I’ll book her in for you”, said the woman, looking down at the paperwork spread on her desk.
You wanted to say something, to ask her not to leave you alone with him, to tell her what had happened. But what were you going to say, really? That you actually enjoyed being fucked stupid on top of his cruiser’s hood? That you were still wet, the dampness in your fold begging to be licked again?
While still debating, you felt Officer Miller ―now you knew his name was Joel― staring at you. He probably suspected what you were thinking, it was like he could smell fear. You dropped your eyes to inspect your bare feet, silently letting him know that you wouldn’t say a word. If you had had a peek at him, you would have seen his sly grin.
“All the cells here are full, you’ll have to go to the adjacent building, I’m afraid.” You thought the female officer winked at him.
“That’s alright. Thank you, darlin’”, he smiled at her before pushing you in front of him. “C’mon, move.”
You shambled towards the backdoor, walked out and then Joel― Officer Miller opened the door to the secondary building. You entered with him on your heels. His body was so close to yours, you felt a pleasant tingling start on your neck that shot down your spine. You cockled your lips, disappointed in yourself.
The room was not too big, it only housed four cells, all of them empty. The only decoration was a wooden desk with a chair for a police officer to be stationed. There was also a small room at the end, which had a unisex bathroom sign on its door.
You didn’t like how isolated it felt in there ― you had hoped there would be someone else in there with you. To stop him, to stop yourself. You really were out of luck.
Officer Miller pushed you to the furthest cell in the room. “Stay”, he commanded while he uncuffed you, then grabbed the keys off a metal hook, unlocked the cell and opened the door for you. “Be my guest, doll”, his tone was so snide.
You simply obeyed with averted eyes. Maybe if you didn’t look at him, your pussy would stop palpitating. You could still feel his fingers buried in your tacky slit, your clit begging to be paid attention. He had left you so unsatisfied, your brain kept going back to the moment he ate your cunt from behind. You shuddered, conscious that you had to stop daydreaming about it.
“Now be a good slut and finish what I have started. I know your pussy is asking for it”, his voice rumbled under his breath, locking the cell behind you. Officer Miller dropped your purse on the table and unsheathed his gun to leave it there too. Slowly he turned and sat down on the chair, conveniently positioned in front of your cell.
You shook your head no with teary eyes. Teary not because you were afraid, but because you really wanted to ― frustration corroding your vaginal nerve endings. Your clit twitched as you sat down on the wooden bench, looking away from him.
“You’ll give in, sooner rather than later, I bet.”
Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Officer Miller manspreading on the chair, a hand slipping under his belt. His gaze was transfixed on you while he touched himself. You turned your head towards the wall, your clit lit on fire at the mere thought of him jerking off in front of you.
You pressed your knees together, looking for some relief and finding none. You tried not to but ended up whimpering in frustration. Joel was right ― you gave in. Your eyes welled up with shame and lust as you discreetly hid your hands between your parted legs. You caressed your clit with your index and then traced the entirety of your fold, a wave of pleasure washing over you.
His groan made you look askance in his direction. Joel had freed his cock through the zipper of his uniform trousers and was pumping himself. The sight of his veiny cock made your mouth run dry. Then you noticed he had something tied around his veiny dick. You had to take a second look, this time with no furtiveness, to see what it was.
He had wrapped your wet panties around his manhood and was rubbing himself with it. You couldn’t contain your whoring moan any longer after that. The vision of him masturbating with your underwear almost strangling his cock sent you in a spiral of desire ― you were, once again, out of control.
Two fingers slipped in your dripping opening while your thumb stroked your clit, this time more intently. Leaning your head back against the brick wall, you closed your eyes, whimpering like a bitch in heat as your digits picked up a reckless pace between your legs. Your breathing intensified, coming in and out in short bursts. Your cunt was so drenched that every time you pushed your fingers inside of you, wet, sucking sounds quickly followed each thrust.
Lava was pooling in your overstimulated furrow, your whole sex so slick your fingers slid in and out easily. Then you felt it: the climbing to the climax and then the falling. You screamed, bending over yourself, as the orgasm hit you hard, very hard. You dropped to your knees on the floor while you felt your insides melting, your inner walls trying to squeeze something that wasn’t there. Your clit convulsed one last time, a moan tearing through your throat as you looked up, eyes closed, imploring to the heavens.
You had not noticed but Joel had stood up and was right in front of you, his dick poking in between the bars ― your panties still wrapped around the base of his cock. He was whacking off with a tight grip, his hips slanted forward. “Come over here, right now”, he emphasized.
His cock had you mesmerised, it was calling you. You wanted to suck him so badly, that you mewled as you crawled towards him.
Joel gritted his teeth at the scene. You moved towards him on all fours, panting and whimpering. You were such a hot mess his cock pulsated in his hand. When you were close to the bars, you straightened your back and sat on your heels, awaiting permission. Joel grinned at the sight ― he fucking knew you would cave in. Sliding a hand in the space between the bars, he placed it on the back of your head while resting his pelvis against the metal rods.
“Open wide”, he croaked with lechery, his mind somewhere far away.
His throbbing cock hurt like hell when you parted your lips and sticked your tongue out, your eyes still damp and your eyeliner running down your cheeks. Joel fisted your hair in a ponytail and pulled it back, so your face was up. He spit in your mouth, deranged with lust, and then swiftly drove his dick down your mouth until your bottom lip was touching his hairy balls.
He held you there for an eternal minute, rejoicing in the wetness of your cavity while you simply choked on his cock. Tears sprung to your eyes at the intrusion, he was way too far down your throat. But did he care? No, he was just chasing his own release. Holding your head in place so you wouldn't go anywhere, he bobbed his waist back and forth, fucking your mouth as deep and fast as he could go.
You probably did it on purpose to drive him crazy, but your lips pressed around his girth as you tried to slurp all the fluids. You would gag from time to time, especially when he would force your head close to him, but you didn't turn away.
Joel looked down as he used your mouth as he pleased. Your eyes were all watery because of the deep intrusion, your lips rubbing against his skin, your palms against your knees as if you were all innocent.
Joel only tugged you back to free his dick when he felt your neck muscles contract, announcing you were close to throwing up.
God, how much he loved your mouth. The mouth of a whore.
You heaved, trying to catch a breath, fighting your gag reflex as much as you could. Your eyes met his. His pupils swirled with lust and that scared you.
Do I really want this?, you asked yourself again, unsure of the answer. You didn’t and did at the same time ― you couldn’t stop yourself. It was like you had lost your freewill and just turned into his plaything, letting him do with you as he deemed. You had succumbed to Officer Miller ― there was no point in fighting back, your own body was betraying you, getting wet in all the wrong places. Maybe if he finished quickly, he would let you be.
You looked up at him when he pushed you closer to his erection again. He was so ruthless ― with no care in the world, Joel dug his pulsing cock down your mouth again, the glans suffocating you once more and the fabric of your underwear tingling your nose. You unconsciously tried to clear your throat, suppressing a cough. Your bottom lip trembled because of how wide your jaw had stretched to house him. Your spit and his precum pooled in your mouth, dribbling down from your chin to your cleavage. You felt the trickle going down in between your boobs and wetting your top.
Joel grinned as he swept away a tear with his thumb.
“Now eat it like you mean it, like the slut you are”, he croaked.
Joel let go of your hair, both of his hands gripping the metal rods that separated you.
You pulled back to catch a breath and swallowed all the fluids that had accumulated in your mouth. Officer Miller was eyeing you expectantly, his dick twitching in front of you each time blood rushed through it. You broke visual contact to focus on his warm cock.
Without thinking, your fingers wrapped around his thick column and started pumping him while your tongue tapped the tip. His groan spurred you on, so you sucked on his glans like if you were a babe breastfeeding. From time to time, you would run your lips down his length, tracing the pulsating vein that fed his erection. By how his hips would sway every time you did that, you knew he loved it.
And so you repeated it, over and over again. Smother the tip, slide your lips down his cock, gently nibble and suck on his balls, and then back up ― your tongue sticking out while licking his shaft until you sealed his glans between your lips again.
Your body had a mind of its own, because your index found your clit again and caressed it softly. The core of your pleasure was heating up again ― your leaking entrance contracted suddenly when the lust reached a higher peak. You moaned with his dick in your mouth, eyes closed, as you fingered yourself unashamedly.
Then you felt it ― a hard pulsation in his cock, announcing he was close. Officer Miller tried to pull back so he wouldn’t come, but you were having none of it. You neglected your pulsing clit, threaded your arms between the bars and placed each hand on his butt cheeks. You forced him forward, pressing your palms against his ass, so he would be locked in place while your wanton mouth took him in as far down as you could.
You didn’t let him go and with a harsh, deep moan, Joel came in your mouth. His hot cum flowed in bursts and clogged your throat, almost asphyxiating you ― but you still didn’t let go. Your eyes were fixed on his, although he wasn’t looking ― Joel had closed his eyes to fully feel his orgasm, his hips still swaying back and forth in your mouth with the last wave of his release.
He fucking knew it. You were so hungry for him, you would even force an orgasm on him. His knuckles were all white due to the force he was using to grip the metal rods. His jaw was so clenched, he thought he might have chipped a tooth. When Joel regained control of his muscles again, he looked down at you and smirked.
“Aren’t you a little bitch, eh? You think because you’ve made me come a second time, I’m not gonna fuck that tight, tiny hole of yours? Well, you’re in for a treat”, he said matter-of-factly.
He just needed a bit of time to have an erection again. And, in the meantime, he was going to have fun with your body. A lot of fun.
Joel moved back his hips so his cock slid out of your mouth. In the process of doing so, a trickle of cum ran down the corner of your mouth. He quickly grabbed his shaft and with the tip, he gathered the cum off your skin and pushed it back between your lips. When you opened your mouth to collect his cum, he noticed you hadn’t swallowed.
“You gulp my cum down right now or else”, he demanded, inserting his dick in your mouth to help you keep it closed.
You tried to explain. “I’ve never don―”, you enunciated the words as you best could, your mouth still full with his spent and his cock.
He grunted, annoyed. “I don’t fucking care, don’t waste a drop of what I’ve given you. A good slut eats what is fed to her.”
Even though he was treating you like shit, your body got aroused at his words. Why? Stop, you begged to yourself, imploring for the gushing between your legs to disappear.
Joel glanced down at you with a cocked brow, awaiting. He wasn’t joking, he really meant it. So you swallowed ― twice, because there were still remnants of his sperm lingering in your mouth. You had never had anyone come in your mouth before ― let alone swallow it. It didn’t taste like you had expected it though ― it was warm and sweet, so smooth it just slid down your oesophagus without effort.
He literally had just used you like if you were his personal glory hole. You should feel ashamed of yourself ― and you did, very much so. But right now, your lust was greater than your shame. And the proof was on the floor between your knees: there was a small puddle, your fluids right there for him to see.
Oh, and he saw.
“Such a whore, you’re dripping like a broken pipe. Aren’t you embarrassed of yourself?”, he asked into the void.
You just whimpered, maddened with unspent passion. Your clit was still twitching, your opening palpitating. Had you not had enough embarrassment already? You had come five times, and you still needed more. Officer Miller was right ― you were a whore. You circled your clit, your eyes fixed on his, almost begging him to help you out.
“Don’t worry, doll, I ain’t done with you yet. Turn around”, he ordered you.
You blinked at him, unsure if he was to be trusted. A voice inside your head screamed at you not to, but you ignored it. You were so horny, you just wanted the fire within you to be extinguished.
You let a soft cry escape your lips as you obeyed his command ― you were on all your fours, your ass cheeks resting against the metal bars, your puffed-up pussy completely exposed to him. You heard him kneel behind you before cupping your whole cunt with the span of his palm, rubbing it delicately.
“Will you look at that? Obedient like a bitch in heat. With a red, swollen pussy, all ready for me to play with”, he laughed at you while you simply bleated, shaking your head yes at his words, uninhibited.
Joel suddenly slapped your cunt so hard, your arms failed you and ended up in a knee-chest position, your ass up in the air for him. “Ouch!”, you let go, your cheek resting against the concrete on the floor.
A cold, rubbery texture kissed your pussy lips and you lifted your head over your shoulder to see what it was. Joel was wielding the nightstick that was attached to his belt a second ago ― he lodged it between your damp flaps, moving it up and down to wet it with your discharge. You moaned, really moaned out loud, knowing what was about to happen.
With your forehead against the concrete floor, you closed your eyes with pure satisfaction when Joel started penetrating you with the baton. Your nails scratched the hard surface underneath, your very curated manicure ruined. Officer Miller pushed in a few more inches, your flesh parting to house the stick. And then, abruptly, you wailed in pain as the end of the nightstick kissed your cervix rather harshly.
You saw stars behind your eyes and tried to push away.
“No, doll, no. Stay put for me”, his free hand rested on the small of your back, keeping you in place.
You remained still for a minute, while you adjusted to such deep intrusion. The pain had been very intense, but it started wearing off as Joel spun the nightstick around in your hole. After a while, you finally relaxed and the cop resumed, pumping the baton in and out of you slowly. Then his hand drifted down from your lower back to your quivering clit and he kneaded the right spot expertly.
You whined, the pleasure so overwhelming it brought tears to your eyes again. You fluttered your eyelashes to clear your vision, your mouth open wide, your breathing irregular. Your womanly cave clutched onto the nightstick, all wet and sensitive. You could feel your heartbeat on your cunt, pulsating so hard it was maddening. His thumb pressed circles on your clit and you sobbed audibly, your orgasm so close you were on the verge of the precipice.
Then a phone went off, you were barely conscious of it ringing until Joel stopped what he was doing and stood up.
“No, please, please, Joel please”, you begged, almost crying, wanting to come so badly.
He left you there, on all your fours and with this baton sticking out of your weeping cunt, almost fully inserted.
“Ah, look, Sweetie is calling you. Bet he’s all worried about you”, he chuckled walking towards you, your cell phone on his hand. He had also taken something from your purse, but you couldn’t see what before he put it in his pocket. “Pick up and pretend you’re not having the best sex of your life.”
He put the phone on speaker and left it by your head. Your mind raced with panic, a very tight knot forming in your throat. This made it too real; you were really cheating on who you thought was the love of your life. And what was worst, you were cheating on him and enjoying it like the slut you were.
“Hey, honey? Are you okay?”, your boyfriend said.
“H―Hi, sweetie. Yeah, I’m fine”, you managed to reply with a steady voice.
Then Joel started jackhammering you with the baton relentlessly, so hard it forced you to close your eyes. Your moist pussy compressed so tightly around the rubbery stick, you had to cover your mouth to stop a moan from coming out.
“Where are you? I thought you’d be back like an hour ago”, he inquired, noticeably worried.
“I… I am in a nightclub, just walked out when I saw you calling”, you lied through your teeth. Joel cackled behind you while his thumb caressed your clit again, putting a sweet amount of pressure on it. “Ah, mhmmm… I should be back home in… uhmmmm… like an hour maybe?”, you bit your bottom lip, soft moans slipping out.
“You sure you’re okay? You sound weird, honey”, your boyfriend insisted.
Joel picked up a very fast pace with the baton, drilling you with it so hard the climax was fast approaching. Your whole body was rocked back and forth with the strength of his thrusts. Your clit melting at his suggestive touch.
“Yes, I drank a bit, mhmmmm… that’s all. I’ll get a taaaahmmh-xi back. Gotta go”, you talked fast, wanting to get the words out before you wailed. You managed to cover your mouth again just in time.
“Okay, take care, honey. I love you.”
At that point, the end of the baton kissed your cervix again but this time it pushed you over the edge. You had the biggest contraction of your life, your angry pussy trying to break the nightstick inside you. You came so hard, you squirted so much it almost looked like you had pissed yourself ― the puddle on the floor had grown considerably. Your eyes welled up, your creamy pussy fluttering, and your clit still writhing. You bit into your hand to suppress the loudest, sluttiest moan of your life.
“Honey?”, your boyfriend said, weirded out by the fact you hadn’t said it back as you always did.
Your orgasm was still washing over you. “Love you too”, you whispered, so guilt-ridden you wiped away some shameful tears from your cheeks.
Then he hung up.
“Oh wow, this is what love looks like to you? I almost feel sorry for the guy”, he made fun of you as he got up, the nightstick still inserted in your pussy. “Up”, he instructed you.
You had nothing to say, because you deserved his pun. There was no denying you were enjoying yourself a little bit too much. With a defeated sigh, tired of fighting your inner battle, you stood up with trembling knees. Your legs felt so wobbly you had to hold on to the bars.
Officer Miller dangled the keys in his hands before opening the door of the cell. For a second you thought that was it, he was done, even though he said he wasn’t a few minutes ago. But when he walked in front of you with his cock poking out the zipper of his uniformed pants, you knew he wasn’t.
Disappointment but also excitement came over you.
“Walk towards the bench. Get up on it on all your fours, doll.” He guided you to the farthest corner of the cell, where it was dark and hidden away in case someone interrupted.
It was like he knew all the blind spots. Had he done this before with someone else? A pang of jealousy tugged at your belly. You’re not the only one, you told yourself.
Completely surrendered to his desires ―and your own―, you followed his lead and did has he commanded. Once you were in the position he wanted you in, he walked to your side and nudged your cheek with the warm, tacky head of his cock.
“Give it a kiss, show me some gratitude”, he husked in a rumbling, raspy tone.
You turned your head ninety degrees and kissed the tip. He still had your panties wrapped around his erection. Licking your bottom lip, your eyes locked on his. A wide grin spread on his face. The motherfucker looked like a goddamn god when he smiled like that, dimples on his cheeks.
“Suck on it like if it was your personal pacifier, darlin’.”
Your tongue twirled around the plump tip as he finally took the baton out of your quivering pussy. You gasped at the emptiness you suddenly felt, his glans caressing your palate. Remembering your order, you quickly sealed your lips around the head of his cock and sucked on it, never breaking eye contact. The tip of your tongue tried to wiggle its way down his slit, slightly parting it and making him groan deeply.
You kept up the work with your smothering lips as one of Joel’s hands travelled down your back, briefly caressing one of your butt cheeks, to then cup your silky cunt. His fingers dipped in your welcoming slit, so velvety they slid up and down with no resistance whatsoever. He rubbed you softly while you worked diligently to make him hard again. One of his fingertips tempted you by getting lost in your needy hole, but he quickly removed it.
“C’mon, let’s get your wanton pussy ready again to ride some cock”, Officer Miller stepped back, his now hard cock slipping out of your mouth.
He walked around the bench and knelt behind you, your pulsing cunt perfectly lined up with his eye level. His mouth hovered over your ass cheek and then bit into your flesh ― his teeth marks were going to be there tomorrow, but that was not your main worry right now.
With no previous warning, he spread your cunt open and licked it from the clit to the perineum in one long, sweet stroke. You swooned at the feeling, half-lidded eyes and pursed lips. Moaning again, Officer Miller ate your pussy masterly while fisting himself, his tongue lingering in the right spots. He then taunted your clit while he fingered you slowly, his fingertip rubbing your g-spot.
Joel alternated his finger and the tip of his tongue to intrude in your opening. It felt delicious, his wetness mixing with yours. His hooked nose would get trapped in your slit when his mouth dropped to attend to your needy clit ― you heard him inhale your scent with no shame, dragging his nose in your silky fold as his mouth returned to your shaking entrance.
Officer Miller really knew how to eat pussy, so much so you would dream about his mouth feasting on your cunt every single night for the foreseeable future. Probably every single day too.
Your breaths quickened, fire melting your insides, your clit so sensitive you didn’t know if it was painful or delightful. You felt like you were about to ride the biggest wave of your life ― and then he stopped, standing up.
Frustrated sobs left your lips, almost mewling ― your pussy begging for release.
Your inner battle had been silent for a while, but came back with full force when you felt Joel’s cock lodged between your tumescent flaps, dousing himself with the product of your pleasure. He waved his hips against you, his dick skidding through your gushing furrow with ease.
He was going to fuck you again.
You tensed up, but you should have known this was coming. You didn’t want to cheat on your boyfriend again. Cheat for real, that was. Penetration was where you had marked the invisible line in your mind between cheating and just messing around.
Touching yourself while thinking of Joel’s cock? Not cheating.
Sucking his dick like a thirsty, panting dog? Not cheating.
Letting him fuck you with his nightstick? Not cheating.
Talking to your boyfriend while another man made you come? Not cheating.
Getting your pussy blissfully eaten from behind? Not cheating.
Him fucking you senseless with his cock? Definitely cheating.
You knew it sounded stupid, but your mind was really making an effort to make you feel a bit less guilty about what was happening.
You did not want this. Yes, you had messed around with him at first, but once your bravado abandoned you, you realised you did not want this.
Right? Right? Or at least you tried to convince yourself of it.
“No, wait”, you whispered when the tip of his throbbing cock kissed your dripping entrance.
Joel slid his drumming cock between your soaked folds, wetting himself. His mind spiralling down with desire, with lust. He took a moment to revel in the feeling of having his dick sweetly sheathed by your sodden lips.
Then he lined up the head of his thrumming dick with your drenched opening. When he heard your infuriating petition, he just cocked a brow. No, you were not going to deny him that, not after all the effort he had put into making you come over and over again. Your denial angered him.
“What a selfish slut you are”, he muttered furiously between gritted teeth before impaling you in one deep thrust ― his hips entirely flush against your pussy, his cock buried as far as it could go.
You moaned like the bitch you were and rolled your hips back into him, your trembling cunt hugging his cock.
“Yeah, that’s what I thought”, he murmured, still mad at you.
How fucking dared you tell him no? You were such an ungrateful bitch. He wasn't going to take no for an answer, not when you had been enticing him all night.
Joel spanked your ass hard, and you whimpered ― the palm of his hand leaving a red imprint on your skin. “You’re a whore. Say it out loud.”
“I am a whore, I am. I’m such a slut for you, Officer”, you wailed, bouncing your hips back and forth while he stayed still, fucking yourself with his dick.
Your neediness mildly soothed his anger, but not enough.
He slapped your ass again before grasping your hips to keep you in place, then Joel started fucking you as hard and as fast as he could, rutting into your tight hole mercilessly. His mind was just blank as the orgasm started to build within him ― the muscles in his lower tummy tensing, his balls contracting, his cock pulsating to the rhythm of his heartbeat. This was heaven, your pussy was.
He kept drilling you relentlessly, your whines growing louder and deeper, meeting his thrusts by pushing back your hips into him. The pace was so diabolical, your back arched, almost resting against his chest in a half-standing position. His broad hands left your waist and travelled up to hold your boobs while he perforated you, the carnal sound of flesh colliding against flesh filling the room.
Joel suddenly stopped, sliding out, and you whimpered, not wanting to be left unsatisfied again. You didn’t see what he was doing until he stuffed your mouth with your panties and covered your mouth with his hand, inserting his dick back into you unceremoniously.
“Don’t scream so loud or they are going to hear you. And I don’t want you to get me into trouble, understand?”, he threatened, resuming the plunging of his throbbing cock into your wanton cunt.
You just nodded, biting down on your underwear, while he fucked you stupid. So hard, so fast, so filthy, you couldn’t take it anymore. Your muffled moans announced your next climax, your pussy clamping down on his pulsating cock.
You both came undone at the same time, his hand still over your lips as Joel’s warm spent filled you up for the second time tonight. It came out of him in waves, both of your sexes beating in harmony.
Sweaty and tired, Joel let go of your mouth to move his hand down to slap your clit harshly. You whimpered, your clit so oversensitive it twitched one last time, making you come again. You bent over, resting your weight on your hands, as Officer Miller remained inside you for a few minutes, you cockwarming him with no complaints.
Suddenly hearing the ripping of plastic, you looked over your shoulder to see how he opened the packaging of a tampon with his teeth. And then, before you could think, he took his soft erection out of you and immediately inserted the tampon in your leaking hole, using it as if it was a vaginal plug to contain his semen inside you.
“Do not even think about taking it out until at least tomorrow. Understood?”, you nodded frantically, feeling slightly humiliated, but you didn’t say a word.
Joel pulled down your skirt and then placed the palm of his hand in front of your mouth. You spit your messy panties on his palm and he put them back in his pocket. You didn't bother asking for them this time, you knew he wouldn't give them back. And, weirdly enough, you wanted him to keep them.
You sat down on the bench with him standing in front of you. You looked up at him, your eyeliner all smeared on your cheeks. Your lips were swollen of eating so much dick.
“I think you’ve learnt your lesson now, right, doll?”, he asked with a smile, sweeping away the tears on one of your cheeks with his thumb. The gesture was almost sweet and caring.
You nodded again, wholly submitted to him. “Yes, Officer.”
“Good girl. Now go clean yourself up in that bathroom over there. I’ll take you home so your poor little boyfriend doesn’t worry about you”, he chuckled as you got up and hid in the small restroom.
You looked at yourself in the mirror. You definitely had gotten more than what you had bargained for. But as much as you wanted to blame Officer Miller for everything that happened tonight, you knew you had been asking for it. With a heavy sigh and out of tears, you washed your face, your thighs and your sensitive pussy.
Once you walked out of the toilet, all semi-decent again, you saw Joel leaning against the wooden table, arms crossed at his chest. When you approached, he got up. His frame was so broad with square shoulders, his biceps flexing in that uniform, you kind of understood yourself for giving in to temptation. He was something else. Maybe it was the uniform, maybe not, but there was something about him that made your pussy melt for him.
Forgetting him and this night was going to be a herculean task. Would your boyfriend ever live up to him? Even to a shadow of what Joel had given you?
You halted in front of him. As if you were his, he dropped a hand in between your legs, his fingertips looking for your now clean hole. You separated your legs slightly to give him access without remonstrance.
He smiled at you sufficiently when he noticed the tampon was still in you, just as he had commanded.
“Good girl”, he muttered, gently caressing your clit as a reward for your good behaviour.
Against all odds, you smiled back at him, swooning at his praise.
You did the journey back home on the passenger’s seat of Joel’s Crown Vic. From time to time he would check the tampon was still in its rightful place, stroking your clit in the process. Had your hole been unplugged, you would have leaked on the upholstery again.
You both remained silent ― your mind racing with thoughts, trying to come to terms with what you had done.
What were you going to do? Were you going to confess to your boyfriend? Would you keep it a secret? Joel had fucked you so good, you thought you would never enjoy sex with anyone else.
Damn, your mind was a tangled mess. But you blamed it on his tentative finger, still stroking your clit.
The cruiser stopped and you looked at the building in front of you. You had arrived at your destination. Joel removed the hand from your fold and you sighed, gripping the handle.
But before you opened the door, you looked at Officer Miller.
“Will I ever…?”, you didn’t finish your question because he was eyeing you with amusement, his pupils flickering with fun.
“G’night, doll.”
Had you just been rejected? It felt like it, because it stung real bad. You pressed your lips together and, without another word, you exited the car and ran to the safety of your flat.
You entered as silently as you could. You got to the restroom and changed your clothes ―or what remained of them― for your pyjama, throwing everything in the washer. Tiptoeing towards the bed, you saw your boyfriend sleeping on his side.
Guilt and embarrassment ate at you, but you kept them at bay. You were tired, only wanting to go to bed ― tomorrow would be a new day. Pushing those thoughts away, you slid under the bedsheets and stayed on your side of the bed.
A minute later, your boyfriend turned around and hugged your waist, spooning you.
“Hi, honey. Did you have fun tonight?”
His question stabbed at your heart.
“Yeah, it was good seeing the girls.”
You wouldn't believe how much fun I actually had, you thought out of nowhere.
“Mhmmm, good, good…”, one of his hands wrapped around your waist and coincidently rested on your lower belly.
You had felt his swollen groin against your butt but decided to ignore it because you were completely spent. Joel had taken all the orgasms you could have today ― you had nothing left to give.
But your boyfriend didn’t know that, so he dipped a hand under your pyjama’s shorts, looking for your slit. Then he found the tampon string and grunted.
“You’ve got your period?”, he asked, disappointed.
You hadn’t really forgotten to take it out. Weirdly enough, you still felt compelled to follow Officer Miller’s demands. You were going to leave it there till tomorrow's afternoon, his cum warming you up. You didn't want to let go of the memory, not just yet.
“Yeah, it came earlier, sorry, sweetie.” You lied ― and felt really bad for it.
He sighed heavily, disheartened, and removed his hand from in between your legs. “It's okay, good night, honey.” He kissed your neck.
You were ever so slightly disappointed in him ― you were sure a bit of blood would have not stopped Joel from fucking you.
Ah, comparison was really the thief of joy.
“Good night”, you whispered back, fully conscious of Joel’s cum sitting snugly inside your pussy.
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you're drunk !
characters: yami sukehiro, fuegoleon vermillion, nozel silva, & william vangeance
tags: fluff , multi characters x fem reader
a/n: i'm back with the scenarios ! sorry if it's been awhile, i'm just really busy with school and all
🍂 YAMI SUKEHIRO
The cool night air wrapped around you as you stumbled along the path, still feeling the warmth of the drinks you had with Yami back at the tavern. The night had been filled with loud laughter and challenges from overly confident patrons that Yami either shrugged off or jokingly threatened to handle with his sword.
Yami walked beside you, hands shoved casually into his pockets, his steps as steady as ever despite the amount of beer he’d downed. He glanced at you, clearly entertained by your struggle to walk in a straight line. “You’re wobbling like a newborn deer.” he teased, his smirk growing wider.
You shot him a glare, though you knew it lacked any real bite. “I’m not wobbling.” you insisted stubbornly, your voice slurring just a little. “I could walk a straight line if I wanted to.”
Yami raised an eyebrow, his grin daring you. “Oh yeah? Prove it.” He stopped, crossing his arms over his chest, clearly enjoying this far too much.
With an overly determined look, you tried to step forward, concentrating so hard that your tongue peeked out between your lips. But despite your best effort, your feet betrayed you, and you tripped. Yami quickly caught you, pulling you upright and steadying you against his chest.
“Yeah, real convincing.” he chuckled, keeping his strong arm around your waist. “Remind me to never let you talk yourself into a drinking contest again. You’d end up starting a bar brawl and lose.”
You scowled up at him, though you couldn’t stop yourself from laughing at your own clumsiness. “I don’t need your help, Captain.” you grumbled, but you made no effort to move out of his hold. “I’m perfectly capable of handling myself.”
His smirk grew more teasing. “Sure, Miss Independent.” he said, leaning in closer. “You’re strong as hell, but right now, you’re about as coordinated as a fish out of water. Admit it.”
“Never.” you shot back. But your pride softened, and you couldn’t hold back a smile. You let yourself rest in his embrace, at least for now.
Yami seemed pleased, but he wasn’t done teasing you yet. His eyes glinted with amusement as he added, “You know, you’re lucky I’m here to catch you when you do something reckless. Otherwise, I’d be scraping you off the pavement.”
You gasped, playfully swatting at his chest. “You’re the worst!” you exclaimed, though a grin spread across your face. “I don’t know why I put up with you.”
Yami shrugged, his smirk never fading. “Probably because I’m devastatingly handsome.” he said, then leaned in close, his voice dropping to a mock whisper. “And because you’re hopelessly in love with me.”
You rolled your eyes, but your heart skipped a beat. “Arrogant as ever.” you shot back, though the affection in your voice was undeniable. “One day, that ego of yours is going to be your downfall.”
“Maybe,” he replied, squeezing you a little tighter as the two of you continued down the road. “But at least I’ll have you to catch me when I fall, right?”
You couldn’t help but laugh, leaning your head on his shoulder. “Yeah, yeah, you big idiot. Just don’t make me regret it.”
Yami let out a soft chuckle, and for a moment, the silliness fell away, replaced by a genuine warmth that lingered between you. “Wouldn’t dream of it.” he said, his voice unusually gentle before he quickly added, “Now hurry up. I don’t feel like carrying your drunk ass home if you pass out on me.”
You burst out laughing, nudging him playfully as the two of you continued down the path. The night felt perfect, and for a moment, you let yourself enjoy leaning into his warmth, knowing that your silly, playful love would always make you feel this light.
🍂 FUEGOLEON VERMILLION
The mission had been a resounding success, but the celebration that followed had clearly taken its toll on you. Fuegoleon had joined the squad in raising a glass—or several—to the victory, but unlike you, he’d known when to stop. You, on the other hand, had indulged a little too freely in the wine.
Now, you found yourself lying on your bed, your limbs feeling heavy, and your head buzzing in that telltale way that meant you’d had far too much to drink. Fuegoleon sat on the edge of the bed, carefully removing your boots as you mumbled incoherent protests.
“You don’t have to do that.” you slurred weakly, though your attempt at resistance was half-hearted at best.
“And yet here I am.” Fuegoleon replied calmly, his voice laced with patience as he set your boots aside. “It seems tonight I have the honor of looking after you, my love.”
You blinked up at him, a hazy smile tugging at your lips. “You’re too good to me.” you murmured, the warmth of the wine in your system amplifying your emotions. “I don’t deserve you.”
Fuegoleon chuckled softly, reaching for a damp cloth. “If that’s true, then what does that say about me? I’m the one who chooses to stay by your side.”
You let out a breathy laugh, your eyes fluttering closed for a moment before you peeked at him again. “Probably that you’re too noble for your own good.”
“Or perhaps,” he countered, his voice quieter now, “I simply know a treasure when I see one.”
The words made your cheeks heat, and you let out a shy laugh. “Stop, you’re gonna make me cry.” you said teasingly, though your voice cracked ever so slightly.
Fuegoleon smiled softly, brushing a strand of hair away from your face before running the damp cloth over your hands. “No tears tonight, sweetheart. Only rest.”
You watched him in silence for a moment, taking in the way his purple eyes glowed softly in the lamplight, his every movement deliberate and tender. “You’re really handsome, you know that?” you murmured, the words spilling out before you could stop them.
Fuegoleon paused, glancing down at you with a look of amused surprise. “Am I now?”
You nodded with conviction, your voice growing dreamier. “Mm-hmm. Handsome and kind and strong and... warm. You’re everything, Fuegoleon.”
A faint blush colored his cheeks, but his smile didn’t waver as he set the cloth aside. “You’ve had too much to drink, my love.” he said softly, leaning in closer. “But I’ll take your words to heart.”
“I mean it.” you insisted, your voice dropping to a whisper. “You’re amazing. And I love you.”
He cupped your cheek gently, his thumb brushing lightly over your skin as he pressed a soft kiss to your temple. “I love you too.” he murmured, his voice full of warmth. “Now rest. You’ve earned it.”
You hummed in contentment, your eyes fluttering closed as sleep began to claim you.
Fuegoleon stayed by your side, his hand resting lightly over yours as he watched you drift into peaceful slumber. Even as the night stretched on, he remained there, his heart full and his resolve unshaken. For all your stubbornness and mischief, he wouldn’t have it any other way.
🍂 NOZEL SILVA
The night had gone exactly as Nozel predicted—messy. You’d gone out to celebrate your friend’s birthday, promising him you wouldn’t overdo it. Yet here you were, kneeling on the bathroom floor, your stomach emptying every last drop of the party’s "fun."
Nozel stood behind you, his hand carefully holding your hair back, the other steadying you with a light touch on your shoulder. His usual pristine demeanor was intact, save for the slight furrow in his brow and his sleeves rolled up—a rare sight that might’ve made you laugh if you weren’t currently miserable.
“I should’ve known.” he muttered, his voice calm but tinged with irritation. “Letting you go to a party unsupervised was clearly a mistake.”
You groaned, wiping your mouth weakly. “It was... one night. I don’t always do this.”
“Precisely why you don’t handle it well.” he replied, offering you a glass of water. “Drink. Slowly.”
You took the glass, sipping carefully before giving him a half-hearted grin. “Look at you, Sir High and Mighty, tending to a lowly drunk like me. Isn’t this beneath you, Captain Silva?”
He raised an eyebrow, his grip on your hair steady. “It’s certainly testing my patience.”
You laughed weakly, leaning against the wall. “Don’t pretend you’re not enjoying this just a little. You love me too much to leave me here.”
He let out a sharp sigh, though his hand on your back moved in slow, soothing circles. “Loving you doesn’t mean I enjoy watching you throw up.”
You cooed, turning to look up at him with a tired smile. “You said you love me. That’s rare. Must be the alcohol working its magic.”
“Don’t push your luck.” he replied, though the faintest smile tugged at his lips. “Now stop talking nonsense and rest.”
“But you’re so handsome when you’re annoyed.” you teased, closing your eyes and leaning into his touch as he helped you shift into a more comfortable position. “It’s like... brooding prince energy.”
“Foolish woman.” he muttered, shaking his head, though his fingers brushed a stray strand of hair from your face. “You’ll be the death of me.”
“You'll live.” you murmured, your voice softening as sleep started to creep in. “You’d miss me too much if I wasn’t around to drive you crazy.”
Nozel paused, his amber eyes softening as he gazed at you. “Perhaps.” he admitted, his voice so low you almost didn’t hear it. “Now sleep, before you say anything else you’ll regret.”
You gave a small laugh, your head lolling to the side as exhaustion overtook you. “No regrets... just you.”
As your breathing evened out, Nozel sighed, his hand lingering on your back for a moment longer before he stood. He quietly adjusted the blanket draped over you, his usual sharpness replaced by a rare tenderness.
“Rest well, my love.” he murmured, the faintest hint of a smile on his lips. “I’ll be here.”
🍂 WILLIAM VANGEANCE
It had been one of those days where everything felt overwhelmingly boring. After a mission, everyone had dispersed to rest, and you found yourself wandering the halls, feeling antsy. The idea of a drink crossed your mind—just to pass the time and try something new. You'd never really been interested in alcohol, but today, curiosity got the better of you.
You found an unopened bottle of something fruity-looking in the pantry, poured yourself a small glass, and took a sip. It wasn’t bad. A little sweet, a little tangy. You went back for another, and before long, you’d emptied half the bottle. You could feel it starting to settle in—everything was a bit fuzzy, but nothing you couldn’t handle.
After a while, the alcohol made you feel a little too good, a little too brave. You thought about how lovely it would be to visit William. You had to tell him something important, after all.
You made your way to his office, swaying slightly as you walked, still feeling the warmth spread through you. When you entered, William looked up from his desk, and for a moment, his expression was a mix of surprise and concern.
"Y/N?" he asked, standing up immediately, his brow furrowed in worry. "What’s wrong?"
You smiled up at him, feeling unusually lighthearted. Without thinking, you dropped to one knee in front of him. “William Vangeance.” you said dramatically, though your voice was slightly slurred. “Will you marry me?”
William froze, his eyes widening, clearly taken aback. "Y/N, what are you—" His voice softened as he rushed over, kneeling in front of you. “You’re drunk.”
You giggled, leaning forward with a mischievous grin. “I’m not drunk, I just… really love you.” you said, trying to focus on him. “You’re kind and smart and… and perfect. How could I not want to marry you?”
William’s expression softened, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. He reached out and gently cupped your face, his touch tender. “My love,” he said softly, “You’re a little tipsy right now, aren’t you?”
You nodded, still smiling up at him, completely at ease. “Maybe. But it’s still true.” you said, your voice warm with affection. “You’re everything to me, William. I’m lucky to know you.”
He chuckled lightly, the worry in his eyes replaced by something softer. “You’re adorable when you’re drunk.” he murmured, his voice fond as he helped you sit back down on the floor. “But I think we should get you comfortable. You’re not thinking straight.”
You pouted, but it was more playful than anything. “I am thinking straight.” you said, leaning into his chest as he wrapped his arm around you, helping you to the couch. “I’m just being honest.”
William's arms wrapped around you more securely as he guided you onto the couch. He sat beside you, brushing a strand of hair from your face. His voice was calm, but affectionate. “You’ve always been honest with me, even when you're sober. But I think tonight, we’ll keep the marriage talk for another day.”
You relaxed into his embrace, still feeling giddy and safe in his arms. “But one day, though.” you murmured, your eyes fluttering a little. “Promise me we’ll talk about it when I’m not… all wobbly.”
William smiled softly, his heart full of affection for you. “I promise.” he whispered, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. “But for now, just rest. You’ve had a long day, my love.”
You hummed, leaning into his warmth, the world around you beginning to fade into the comfort of his arms. “You’re so sweet, William. I’m glad you’re here.”
He held you close, his voice barely above a whisper. “I’m always here for you, Y/N. Always.”
You sighed contentedly, letting the last of your energy slip away as you drifted off in his embrace.
#black clover#black clover fanfiction#black clover x reader#scenarios#yami sukehiro#fuegoleon vermillion#nozel silva#william vangeance#yami sukehiro x reader#fuegoleon vermillion x reader#nozel silva x reader#william vangeance x reader#fluff#eliah.works
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Being Benny's Girl Would Include
Benny Cross Masterlist
A/N: After creating a similar list for Johnny, I now have one for Benny. Ty to a lovely anon for requesting it!
Warnings: slightly nsfw, drinking, mention of injury, mention of a weapon
♡ There are many sleepless nights, worrying about him out on the open road. And you have good cause bc he's constantly returning to you bruised and bloodied.
♡ You learn how to dress wounds, even sew a few stitches, bc he's too stubborn to go to a hospital, preferring your gentle touch instead. "You're better than any damn doctor, sweetheart."
♡ If you pout when he returns, he'll try to make you forget how upset you've been with a bit of teasing that cleverly puts something else in the forefront of your mind. "Did you pray for me every night like a good girl? On your hands and knees? Let me see."
♡ When you're feeling clingy, he'll take you down to the bar with him, not giving a shit what the guys think when you leave lipstick on him or pluck the cigarette from his lips for a drag instead of lighting your own. In fact, he encourages your behavior, flipping his chair around in hopes your small hand will nestle into the back pocket of his Levi's.
♡ Benny's not much of a talker, but he opens up to you bc you're the first person who's ever really cared enough to ask the right questions. That makes him want to tell you things he's never said out loud. He confides the ring on his pinkie came from his granddaddy, the only real father figure he ever knew.
♡ He gifts the important possession to you as a sign of his devotion and his heart skips a beat when he thinks about how you wear it on a chain bc it would slip off your delicate finger too easily otherwise.
♡ You're his sweet girl, an angel so precious he has restless nights worrying about you amongst all the burly men in the rough bars and pool halls he frequents. His concerns over keeping you safe giving him full blown insomnia after Kathy is attacked at a house party.
♡ You'll prob find yourself in an empty field the next morning, caged in by Benny's muscular arms, holding his .38 in your trembling hands. Nodding toward the line of beer bottles in the distance as he softly instructs, "squeeze the trigger real slow as you exhale. You can do it, darlin'."
♡ You didn't see the need considering the protective way he drapes his arm over you, eyes cautiously scanning the room with a feral look in his eye. Everyone knows what it means. Touch her and you're a dead man.
♡ He's been known to take things too far, esp when he's drinking. Once a guy collided with you at the bar, spilling beer down your white dress and turning it sheer. The unlucky son of a bitch found himself on the street seconds later facing the broken end of the bottle inches from his throat.
♡ The novelty of having your honor defended loses its appeal with every trip to county. Benny senses it in your anguished sigh and furrowed brow when you come to bail him out, hanging his head shamefully the moment he catches sight of you.
♡ Since there's nothing he hates more than disappointing you, he tries to keep his impulses in check and focus on your needs. "You know I'd do anything for you, angel."
♡ Nothing made your heart race with excitement quite like the day he stole you away for a winding ride that ended under a magnificent orange sunset. When he removed his shirt to make love to you in the tall grass, you glimpsed your name freshly inked over his heart.
#the bikeriders fanfiction#Austin Butler#Benny Cross fanfiction#Benny Cross x reader#Benny Cross x you#Benny Cross x y/n#Benny Cross
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Easy Access
Pairing: Will 'Ironhead' Miller x female reader
Words: 4.6k
Warnings: Rated E, 18+. Swearing. Alcohol consumption. Fingering. Unprotected intercourse. Creampie. Semi-public sex.
Summary: Unable to keep your hands off of each other since Will's return home from tour, going to a party at Benny's proves to be no exception, especially when he discovers you're not wearing any panties under your sundress.
A/N: It is so rare that Will is smiling and happy so I've made it my mission to give him every ounce of joy he deserves and packed it all into one delicious fic for you, all while indulging in the slutty "bend me over and fuck me in a sundress" fun which is still very much IN 😤 I am also celebrating my 1 year Charlie-versary of when I posted my first fic for one of his characters, which just so happened to be Will Miller, Breathe.
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Three days had passed since Will returned home, meaning it had been three days since either of you stepped foot out of the house.
Keeping your hands off of each other since the moment they made contact again was proving impossible, your attempt at making up for lost time a challenge both of you had eagerly accepted.
Even now as you sat in his truck on the way to Benny’s, Will had his hand planted firmly on your bare leg, your short sundress giving some relief from the sweltering summer weather, but his palm felt like it was on fire the longer it lingered there, spreading a heat through your whole body that rivaled the sun beaming in through the open window.
He gave your thigh a squeeze before reaching for your hand, bringing it up to his mouth where he pressed a kiss to your knuckles, letting it linger there so you were able to feel his breath and the soft prickling of his beard.
Pulling up to a stop light, Will glanced over at you, smiling against your hand as he sent you a wink that ignited even more fire through your veins.
“You look good, sweetheart,” he praised, his familiar drawl low and enticing.
“Do we have to go?” you joked, tilting your head as you squirmed in your seat, seeing his smile grow into a chuckle that you had missed more than you ever thought possible.
“Yeah, we do. Unfortunately we can’t stay locked up in the house all week.”
His eyebrows rose on his forehead when he looked at you, and when he tucked his lip between his teeth after he stopped speaking, you wondered how much effort it would take to convince him otherwise.
You nodded, giving his hand a squeeze as he looked forward at the road again when the light turned green.
“I know you’re looking forward to seeing your brother.”
Will nodded in response, using his free hand to turn his truck left onto the next street. “Yeah, I am.”
Benny had deployed nearly two months before Will had, Pope along with him, and with Frankie, Tom and Will all on their own tours, this was one of the longest periods they had all gone without seeing each other.
Frankie had arranged it all, gathering everyone together for a dinner at Benny’s as a reunion, the need to celebrate each of them returning home safe a priority and perfect excuse to smoke a giant slab of meat and toss back some beers.
“We won’t stay too late,” Will assured, stealing a glance over at you again, his eyes traveling up your legs to your chest that bounced along with the movement of his truck over each bump in the road.
“We can stay as long as you want, Will. I can’t keep you all to myself forever.”
A sort of growl mixed in with his laugh as he shook his head and tried his best to focus on driving, and you felt your pulse quicken as you watched his hammer in his thick neck.
“See, sweetheart, that’s where you’ve got it wrong.”
He pulled onto Benny’s street, slowing down as he approached his brother’s house and found a spot not far down from it, parking his truck behind Catfish’s.
Unfastening his seatbelt, he leaned over the console to get closer to you, his expression somewhat serious even though the hint of a smile played on his gorgeous lips.
“All I want is to hide away with you forever,” he admitted, making your heart feel as if it would burst in your chest.
Before you had the opportunity to say anything in response, Will reached over to close the space between you, his left hand cupping the side of your face to keep you in place as his mouth crashed into yours, a surprised gasp that turned into a soft moan tumbling off your tongue as his danced with it.
It was dizzying, the passion in that kiss and every one that had come before it since his return unlike anything you had experienced before, the crave you felt to taste him on your lips again and again an addiction you could never be rehabilitated from.
You heard him chuckle quietly after he had pulled away, his thumb rubbing your cheek while you kept your eyes closed, almost feeling afraid that if you opened them, he wouldn’t be there. Everything you did in the last three days felt otherworldly, too perfect to be real, and even now you let your fingers dig into the tattooed skin on his forearm just as you had so many times already in order to believe he was actually there with you.
A sigh of relief blew past your lips when you finally did open your eyes, finding him staring back at you with a warmth that made his eyes seem to glow in the late afternoon sun, the smile he flashed at you grounding you just as much as it disarmed you.
“I wish we never had to leave that bed,” he purred, moving to pull the handle to open his door to step out.
“Who said we can’t carry on what we do in bed anywhere else?” you replied, cheekily, grinning in reaction to seeing his eyebrows raise high on his forehead in amusement as he walked around the front of his truck and over to the passenger side, giving you a somewhat warning look as he opened your door for you.
“You’re playing with fire, here. Better watch yourself.”
You chewed on the side of your lip as you hopped out of your seat, feeling mischievous in knowing he had yet to discover your dirty little secret, excitement mixing with arousal as you wondered how he would react when he noticed.
Closing your door, you met him at the open door of the back seat, standing to the side as he reached in and grabbed a dish off the floor, leaving another that contained one of the other appetizers you had prepared for you to carry in as he lifted the small cooler full of beers out of the bed of the truck.
You made a point of leaning in as far as you could to reach it, bending at your waist as much as you could even though it wasn’t necessary due to the height of the truck, but knowing this angle would allow for him to see your bare ass.
“Are you not wearing any panties?” he asked, surprise and amusement in his voice, the expression on his face matching when you stood upright and faced him.
You grinned and shrugged, watching his sly smile reach his eyes that were now tinged with a darkness that you knew was lust.
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” he huffed, slamming the door shut before turning to step onto the sidewalk. “Jesus Christ,” he added under his breath, clearly wondering how he was going to manage now.
With satisfaction giving you a spring in your step, you followed, walking up the driveway beside him, hearing music coming from the backyard along with the familiar laughs of your friends.
Will paused, quickly meeting your lips in a forceful kiss, the deep breath he took when he parted telling you how hard he was working at keeping his composure before reaching the gate that would lead you into the party.
He flicked the latch on the gate, but grabbed the top of it with his large hand before letting it swing open, blocking the entrance so you were stopped beside him. The look he gave you was stern, adding to the flurry of excitement already pulsing wildly through you, and his voice held a tone that made you hold your breath and your skin tingle, feeling the light, humid breeze tickle the sweat on your legs as your less-than-innocent sundress moved with it.
“If you’re gonna play games like this, you’re gonna have to deal with the consequences,” he warned, the corner of his mouth pulling upward ever so slightly as he backed himself against the door to open it, still holding eye contact with you as he let you pass by him.
You didn’t know how long you had been there for, the only thing you knew was that your need for Will was increasing with each passing second and that he seemed to enjoy torturing you, the game you had set up to have him begging for you effectively reversed. It was difficult to keep a steady conversation with anyone - impossible, even - your focus drawn across the yard to wherever Will was standing, seeming to latch eyes with him each time and feeling his locked on you when you forced yourself to look away.
The way he was making you feel almost had you regretting your decision not to wear panties and make it known to him, but as you watched him lick his lips and rub the back of his neck as he half-listened to something his brother and Pope were laughing about, you knew your choices would be rewarded despite him acting like punishment was a more suitable response, and if you were honest, that was exactly what you were hoping for.
You knew you were pressing your luck, sitting down on an old lawn chair, your gaze fixed on Will to make sure he was watching as you blatantly crossed your legs, knowing he could see your naked sex before the overlap of your bare thighs concealed you again.
Despite the somewhat smug grin on your face, your heart was racing uncontrollably, the nerves coursing through you growing at a furious rate as you took in the unreadable expression on Will’s face. You couldn’t decide if he was angry or amused, his arms folded across his chest, his stance sturdy and confident, chewing on a toothpick that he rolled from side to side across his lips with his tongue, and it made you wonder if he couldn’t decide how to feel either.
He shook his head and you noticed his chest rise and fall with a huff before looking away, plucking the toothpick out of his mouth so he could take a sip of his beer that he reached for off the picnic table.
You bit your lower lip, trying to mask your satisfied smirk, and took a deep breath of your own as you attempted to refocus on the conversation happening around you, but you still couldn’t seem to peel your eyes away from Will.
He was clearly trying to do the same, but also failing, and when he stole a look over at you again, you took the opportunity to recross your legs to give him another glimpse of what was his for the taking if he dared.
The crunch of the aluminum can being crushed in his powerful hand seemed to echo in your ears, his eyes steely as he maintained eye contact with you while his other hand subtly adjusted his cock in his shorts that you knew was getting hard.
Will licked his lips before looking back to Benny where he patted his brother firmly on the shoulder, saying something to him as he held up his empty beer can, taking a step in the direction of the garage.
Catching your gaze again, he tilted his head, nodding for you to follow him before he disappeared around the wall of the building.
With your mouth now feeling dry, you downed what was left of your drink and stood, politely excusing yourself from the others who sat near you even though you hadn’t contributed to the conversation in too long a time thanks to your occupied thoughts, your hand instinctively smoothing the back of your dress to make sure you were covered as you walked through the yard.
Looking over your shoulder to ensure no one was following, you rounded the corner only to walk straight into Will who lunged out and grabbed you, laughing as you yelped, your heart stopping from the scare.
“Jesus, Will!”
He continued to chuckle, his smile crooked as he still held the toothpick between his lips, his hands groping at your waist and then lower to your bare ass. You couldn’t help but join his laughter, seeing him smile and be this playful replacing the brief fright with a swell in your heart.
“I don’t think you have any idea how much I missed hearing your laugh,” you admitted, resting your hands on his warm chest as he beamed at you.
“Is that so?”
You nodded your head in confirmation, smiling as he dipped in and kissed you, your arms wrapping around his neck while his secured around your back and pulled you against him, able to feel his cock pressing against your body.
“Come here,” he said through a growl, his voice rough and lusty while his eyes continued to hold a playfulness in them, leading you in through the open door and giving the toothpick a flick that landed somewhere on the oil-stained concrete floor.
Walking far enough in so he was sure no one would see you unless they actually came inside the garage, Will wasted no time in planting you against Benny’s workbench, his kisses coming on so forceful and desperate it was hard to keep up.
Both of you were smiling between kisses, completely elated and lost in the thrill of it all, and as much as you had expected Will to follow through on making you pay for your little stunt, it still caught you off-guard when you felt his fingers trail up between your legs to stroke your wet folds.
“Here? Now?” you asked, half squirming and half leaning into his touch, a breathy moan passing your lips as you let yourself succumb to the feel of his index finger pushing inside you.
He peered down at you, his eyes shifting with amusement as you relaxed into him and started to roll your hips. “It's what you wanted, isn't it?”
You nodded quickly, biting your lip to stifle your sounds of pleasure that he was already coaxing out of you.
“You're lucky I can't get enough of you,” he growled, adding a second finger and hooking them to massage your g-spot. “If you're gonna dress and act like a slut then you're gonna be treated like one.”
His words sent a shiver up your spine, your nipples hardening against the thin fabric of your sundress, and your eyes closed as he fingered you as perfectly as always. You felt his face draw close to yours, his breath hot on your dewy cheek, his beard grazing your reactive skin as he dipped in beside your ear.
“No one's gonna know…”
You grinned when his lips attached to your neck, the thought of denying this man anything he wanted humourous, knowing that after being apart for as long as you had, nothing could stop you.
It all progressed quickly; your kisses intensifying with each one, the sound of your name coming off his lips as he told you he loved you making you delirious, your hands grasping at each other desperately.
The smell of his shampoo was awoken by your fingertips scratching through his hair, the press of his lips on yours and the way his tongue claimed your mouth while his beard chafed at your chin and cheeks all a reminder that there would never be a day you would be sated of him.
You let your hands slip down his neck and over his broad shoulders, finding a resting place on his thick chest that radiated a warmth that made his cotton t-shirt cling even more to it, and you could feel his heart thrum against your palm before his laugh rumbled through to it.
“The things you make me do, sweetheart,” he chuckled, allowing his hands to leave your body for a moment while he unfastened the button and zipper on his shorts and pulled out his cock.
You returned his smile, yours feeling lazy on your lips from the haziness of lust, and you reached for his cock, smoothing your hand up and down his length until his smile was wiped away and he clutched your jaw with his hand, squeezing it as he kissed you again.
He peppered along down to your neck, his fervor increasing as your reaction to it encouraged him more, the hand that had been gripping your chin falling to your chest where he pawed at you roughly while the other rucked up the skirt of your dress.
“I still don't think you realize how much I missed you, and I’m not even close to being done yet,” he growled, driving his fingers in your soaked cunt again.
You leaned back against the workbench, your hands gripping the edge of it for stability as your head tipped back, allowing Will more access to attack your neck and chest with his mouth, feeling the grittiness of dirt and grime left from Benny’s projects under your fingertips.
“Fuck, Will…” you breathed, riding his hand without shame.
“Turn around, I wanna see that ass,” he demanded, though his tone was light with mischief.
He removed his fingers from you and aided in spinning you around, kicking your feet apart with his as you hinged forward and resecured your hold on the countertop, his hand trailing from the small of your back where he had pressed with intention to down between your cheeks while lifting your dress back up over the round of your ass.
You moaned, arching back into him, feeling him rub his cock across your cheeks as he continued to finger you from behind, his other hand reaching around to grab your breasts and tug at your neckline.
He gave you a playful spank, but it didn’t come without a sting, making you jolt forward slightly which caused the bench to shake against the wall, his voice gruff but light mannered when he spoke.
“I know you think this dress looks all pretty and innocent on you, but only I know what a whore you actually are in it.”
“Fuck,” you gasped, his words and the way he was hitting the spot that would make you fall apart each time he moved in and out of you causing your arms to break their support, knocking over a few empty beer bottles and cans that sat amidst the rusty tools.
“Easy, baby,” he soothed, but not ceasing his pace. “We gotta be quick but not that quick.”
Continuing to prime you to take his size, you heard him chuckle again, his tone completely satisfied and humoured as if he was basking in the fact that he now had the upper hand in the situation.
“How are you gonna manage with no panties after you’re filled up and dripping with my load, huh?”
You sighed out, glancing over your shoulder at him as he proceeded to grin smugly at you, realizing you hadn’t thought this stunt entirely through.
“We’ll call it an oversight.”
Your response only made Will laugh more, the sound of it making your heart sing in seeing him this happy even if it was partially at your expense.
“You could always put it somewhere else?” you suggested, your mouth watering at the thought of swallowing his hot cum while looking up at his pleasured face from your knees that would end up dirty and scuffed.
He shook his head as he lined himself up to your entrance, pushing into your soppy cunt as his voice changed to be slightly gruff. “Not a fucking chance.”
Your nails raked across the gritty, wood surface as Will bottomed out in you, stretching you completely to fit around his fat cock, the first of his hard thrusts making the workbench slam against the wall.
You cursed under your breath, having him pumping in and out of you a reminder of how hard he had already fucked you that morning, the mix of pleasure and pain making your whines grow to soft cries.
“Does it hurt, sweetheart?” Will asked, the concern in his voice genuine even though he didn’t relent on his pace.
You shook your head ‘no’, pressing your hips back to meet him blow for blow, feeling a tingle scurry down your back at the thrill of it all.
“You know I like it,” you replied, your skin erupting in goosebumps despite the heat when you heard him chuckle in a gratified way.
“That’s my girl,” he grunted, continuing to pound you with ardor.
It was getting difficult to keep quiet, but with how loud the bench was hitting the wall you suspected what you and Will were off doing was no longer discreet to the rest of the party, so you allowed yourself to stop worrying and focus on how good it felt.
Although Will’s heavy panting and rough moans were equally as loud as you were, he gave the occasional warning to quiet down, and each time one of your wails out-did any other noises you were making together, his laugh would ring out, clearly finding the prospect of getting caught hilarious.
“Shit!” Will called out, still through a chuckle, releasing the grip of one of his hands from your hips to grab at a mason jar filled with various bolts, screws and washers as it tumbled down from an overhead shelf. It danced off the tips of his fingers and hit the floor with a loud smash, sending its contents scattering around your feet.
“Will!” you half cried, half scolded, and as you moved slightly to try to see the damage done, your arm knocked a couple of cans off the table to add to the mess on the ground.
“Jesus…” Will laughed, picking up his tempo a bit to quicken getting the job done, the risk growing with each passing second.
The rate at which he was fucking you had you a disheveled mess, the straps of your dress having slipped down your shoulders, and without their security, each hammering thrust continued to shake your body enough until your tits easily fell out.
Nearing your climax, you lost control of the volume of your cries, and in your haze of pleasure, you could barely hear Will telling you to pipe down.
Right when you were about to fall into bliss, Will pulled out of you and roughly turned you around to face him, his hand gripping the side of your face somewhat forcefully before he crashed his mouth against yours to quiet you. His other hand grabbed the flesh of your thigh and lifted it up to lock around his waist, driving back inside you with his cock that was warm and wet from you.
You moaned into his mouth, only to have him force his tongue deeper inside while he resumed fucking you with all he had, moving the hand that had been holding your face down to your exposed breasts.
Like he had given up caring if you were heard, he broke your kiss to look at you, his blue eyes soaking you up as he drank in the heavenly sight before him; your bare boobs bouncing to his movements, the sweat glistening on your chest and neck that made your hair stick to it, your swollen, moist lips that parted as you fought for breath between moans, and then his gaze fell lower where he watched your drenched cunt taking his dick.
“Fuck you are so hot!” he said through a grin, his tone hinting that he couldn’t believe you were his to treat like this.
He dipped back down to your lips, kissing you once before letting his open mouth hang against yours, stealing another glance at where your bodies connected and crude, squelching sounds came from.
“I missed this fucking pussy so much,” he muttered, his lips teasing yours as he did, and unable to take it anymore, you reached your hand around his neck and pulled him against you, kissing him fiercely while driving your hips into his to grind on him roughly.
Broken kisses continued their attempt at suffocating your sounds as you found a rolling rhythm that would see you to your end, your hands desperately tearing at Will’s thick, sweaty flesh through his damp t-shirt.
A violent orgasm ripped through you, forcing Will to press his lips harder against yours to drown out your cries, burying himself deeper inside your walls that choked his throbbing cock, your leg wrapping around his plump, half-bare ass to help ensure he didn't leave you as you rode out your high.
Even if he wanted to hold back, he wouldn't have been able to, your climax inducing his own, his thrusts slamming and stuttering as he pumped you full with aggressive spurts of cum.
“Fuck, baby,” he smiled against your lips, his forehead resting on yours as you both panted for breath, drunk on each other and completely spent.
You giggled, the thrill of your naughty behaviour adding to the post-fuck euphoria, feeling the rumble of Will’s laugh resonate through your body as he remained inside you.
He pulled away from you enough to peer down at you, his eyes heavy and lusty but crinkling at the sides as he smiled lazily at you, his cheeks blushed and covered in drops of sweat, his blond hair darkened from his efforts.
He continued to smile at you as he fixed the straps of your dress, his fingers gently and lovingly grazing your shoulders as he did, looking at you so adoringly that you could never deny how much he had missed you while he was away.
“I really like this dress,” he spoke softly, his fingers trailing down to trace the material that hugged the curve of your breasts, bringing his face close to yours as he pinched your nipple and tugged it, making you moan and arch toward him.
He kissed the space between your ear and neck, and growled as if he was already fighting to restrain himself again. “But I’m gonna rip it off of you at some point and ruin you completely.”
Will’s teeth nipped along your jawline, and before he pressed his lips on yours, looked at you with a dark, promising look that had your body set aflame all over again.
You hummed against his lips, feeling him slip out of you while wondering how much longer you would manage to stay at the party, knowing it would only be a matter of time before you were desperate for him again, and judging by the force of his kiss and the way his hands clawed at your sundress, he was feeling the same.
“You go inside and get cleaned up,” he said, nodding to the door that led into Benny’s house. “I’ll sort all this out.”
You glanced at the mess on the ground he was referring to, broken glass and various types of hardware littered all around you, and being the gentleman he always was, he took your hand and assisted you safely over to the door.
Will tucked himself back in his shorts and promptly located a broom and dustpan, beginning to sweep up when he heard the shuffling of his brother’s footsteps walking into the garage.
Benny stopped, causing Will to look over at him, laughing when he saw the annoyed look on his face.
“Really?” was all Benny managed to get out, his arms outstretched while Will just shrugged and continued cleaning up.
“You two are fucking unbelievable, you know that?” Benny hissed, pushing Will hard on the shoulder as he passed to add more empties to the disrupted collection on the workbench.
Will only laughed harder, dumping what he had accumulated in the dustpan into the garbage as Benny grabbed two beers out of the fridge and handed one to him, knocking his bottle against his and then twisting off the cap to take a sip.
“It’s good to see you happy, man,” he said, clapping his hand on Will’s back before heading out of the garage and back to the party.
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Just thinking about Aaron taking a half asleep bombshell!reader’s makeup off on the ride home late after a case!! He’s so gentle with her and knows all the steps, doing it with care so he doesn’t wake her up fully
It’s only because Aaron knows that the driver employed tonight is temporary that he touches you freely. You’ve been on a plane for hours, at the office even longer, somehow, and you don’t crack —if anyone were to ask you how you were that night, you would’ve said perfect.
But Aaron knew you were exhausted, and alone in the car with him, you aren’t afraid to finally give up the act. You slouch with your eyes screwed closed and your GoBag in your lap, your hand skewed on his thigh.
You have very pretty hands, in his humble opinion. Mostly because of the way you use them. Even in your fatigue your thumb is grazing against the starched length of his pants gently, a curved back and forth.
He wishes that things between you weren’t quite so private. What man wouldn’t want to brag about being touched with such care? And by such a fiercely pretty woman?
“You okay?” he asks quietly.
The car crunches over the road in a constant humming like fine gravel. The driver doesn’t look from the windshield at Aaron’s voice, nor do you look up from your dozing.
“Honey, don’t get too comfortable,” he warns.
You hum with lips closed.
He decides it doesn’t matter. You can get comfortable if you want to. He can very well attempt to carry you up to your apartment. He’d be happy to do that. Aaron not so secretly loves to take care of you, after all.
“Can I see this?” he asks, taking your GoBag from you gently.
You manage a mumbled, “Yeh,” as he takes it.
“Thank you.”
Aaron unzippers your bag and goes to the very back where you keep your makeup bag tucked into a fabric pocket. From there he’s familiar, unbuttoning the front clasp, searching in the dark for your makeup remover and the small cloth you keep for emergencies. He’d wait to get home, only he knows there’s still a while yet to get there what with the roadworks closing the majority of the roads the run from Quantico to DC.
“What are you doing?” you ask, eyelashes dragging apart slowly.
“I’m going to wipe your mascara off before you fall asleep.”
“Do I need to keep my eyes open?”
“I think it’ll be okay.”
You go back to snoozing. Aaron rubs the mascara from your eyes until the cloth comes away clean, tiny gentle brushes of the cloth wrapped around his knuckle. It activates something deep within him to get to take care of you. He’s not sure if it’s masculinity or pride or love, but it feels good. He wishes he could do these things for you more often.
From there he wipes your face clean. He can’t imagine you’ll want to wash your face when you do finally get home, so he soaks a cotton round with the slim bottle of toner he often sees you using on stolen mornings or nights where he’s not supposed to be in your room, and he rubs that over each plane of your face with long, careful strokes. You turn your head when he encourages it but otherwise don’t move.
“There,” he says, more for himself than you as he wraps the dirtied round in your cloth, hiding both in your dark wash bag.
Your fingernails trail gently up the outside of his thigh. Your face swerves down into his shoulder, still tacky. “Thank you, Aaron,” you say. Aaron, and not Hotch.
“Don’t blame me if you break out,” he says, his lips against your crown.
It is definitely love.
#aaron hotchner x reader#aaron hotchner x you#aaron hotchner x y/n#aaron hotchner#aaron hotchner fic#aaron hotchner blurb#aaron hotchner drabble#aaron hotchner imagine#aaron hotchner fanfic#aaron hotchner fanfiction#hotch x reader#hotch#hotch x you#hotch blurb#hotch drabble
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You have a few questions about Ghost’s mask and he has some answers. (platonic, self-indulgent banter)
———————————————————————
You sit side by side outside the medic’s office, waiting for your physical exams. You’ve both just returned from a mission, and it’s standard procedure for all personnel to undergo routine checks upon returning to the base. ‘It’s the protocol’, they said. Boring shit.
Adjusting your shirt, you recline on the chair, glancing at Ghost’s back. He’s slouching, elbows on his knees, fingers interlocked together. He turns to his left, looking at something you’re not interested in paying attention to right now.
He’s fascinating.
“Did you make it yourself?” You ask, nodding towards him.
He doesn’t hear you. That, or he pretends he doesn’t do so. You gently nudge his knee with yours to get his attention. He turns over his shoulder, his eyes locking with yours.
“The mask,” you say, pointing at him, then gesturing to your face, “did you make it yourself?”
He keeps staring at you, but not in the same way when he first turned towards you. It’s more ominous now, like a sign in the middle of the road warning you that there’s been an accident ahead. You don’t know what that accident entails, or what you will face if you get closer. Is it a truck that spilt yellow dye all over the road? Is it a major crash with casualties? Do you want to find out?
Yes. Yes, you do.
“I just think it’s neat.” You say, shrugging.
His eyes linger on you for a few more seconds until they end up traveling from your head to your waist. He finally looks away.
You keep staring at the side of his face, studying it; there’s a faint outline of an ear, a barely visible jawline, the skull plate sewn on his painted balaclava.
“Does it get clammy in there?” You ask again, this time louder.
You know he heard you, but he doesn’t turn to look at you this time. He takes a deep breath, his chest rising, and so does his head. He closes his eyes, and with a long exhale, he lets it all out. He stretches his neck to the left and then to the right.
“What is it that you wanna know?” He asks.
“You never removed it during our mission, not one single time,” you explain. “Got me wondering if you ever take it off, that’s all.”
He lets out an almost inaudible chuckle; it’s so quiet that you can’t hear it, but you can see his shoulders rise and fall. He slowly shakes his head as he gazes down at the floor. Hopefully, it’s a genuine reaction and not just an attempt to release the tension building up.
He straightens himself, sliding back in his seat before reclining. His shoulders press against yours, and you make room for him as much as possible. It almost feels like he’s intentionally expanding his presence; otherwise, he might have been more considerate with his posture. On the other hand, so would you with all the drilling.
“I, too, wonder about you.” He says.
“About what?” You ask.
“Whether you ever stop talking.” He replies, turning to look at you.
“I have questions.” You explain as your eyes drift to his right ear.
“I can tell,” He says and gestures for you to go ahead. “Let’s hear ’em.”
You straighten up and twist your upper body towards him.
“Ok, so,” you begin and clasp your hands together. “How does the medic check your ears if you keep them covered?”
“My ears are just fine.” He responds almost too quickly.
“How do you know?”
“I keep listening to you, don’t I?” he replies. “It’s my nerves that need checking.”
“Why?”
“Cause I keep listening to you.” He repeats. “Anything else?”
“What about your mouth?” You ask. “What if they need to check that during the examination?”
“I’m sure you’d manage that for both of us,” he replies as he leans further back, resting his head on the wall. “Since yours rarely stays closed.”
“Is that so, Lt.?”
He shuts his eyes and slowly nods.
“Do you have an answer for everything?” You ask.
“Do you want to find out?”
“Do I?”
“Do you?” He says, opening his eyes and looking straight at you.
You open your mouth to say something but decide against it. You close it and twist your body to the front, yet you can feel his eyes burning through the back of your head.
“You forgot the nose.” He says.
“What?”
“The nostrils.” He explains. “You asked about almost every single orifice in the human body except the nostrils and the arsehole, for Christ’s sake.”
“Do they check those?”
“Only if you have allergies,” he replies. “Or an infection.”
“Allergies in the arse?” You joke. “Never heard of that.”
“No,” he says, pointing at you. “Pain in the arse.”
———————————————————————
#simon ghost riley x gn!reader#simon ghost riley x reader#simon ghost riley x you#simon ghost riley x y/n#simon ghost riley#simon riley x reader#simon riley x y/n#simon riley x you#simon riley x gn reader#simon riley#call of duty#simon ghost riley fic#simon ghost riley fanfiction#cod ghost#ghost cod#ghost call of duty
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the rookie's rite of passage
Declan loved his new job as a police officer. Ever since he’d stepped foot into the academy, every push-up, every test, every drill had been worth it to finally wear that uniform. The navy blue sat perfectly on him, sharp and pressed, his badge gleaming, and his belt sitting snug around his hips. The hours were long, the expectations high, but it didn’t matter—he’d earned his place here, and he belonged.
For two months now, he’d been partnered with Sergeant Brooks, an older officer in his mid-forties with short-cropped graying hair and a sturdy, broad frame. Brooks was respected, one of those men who carried authority with him effortlessly. Everyone in the department said he was the kind of partner a rookie could learn from, someone who knew the ins and outs of the job beyond any textbook or academy lesson.
The two of them made an odd pair, Brooks heavy-footed and gruff, Declan lean and bright-eyed. Yet, they worked well together—Brooks providing the steady guidance and Declan always eager to absorb the advice. Today, their last shift of the week, Declan couldn’t help but feel satisfied. He was getting the hang of it—running plates, responding to calls, talking to the public. He was finding his rhythm.
“Almost done, rookie,” Brooks said as they sat in their patrol car, cruising down an empty stretch of road outside town. The late afternoon sun painted the horizon in gold and orange, and Declan felt that calm that came after a good day’s work.
“Yeah,” Declan said, glancing over at his sergeant. “It’s been a good week, hasn’t it?”
Brooks nodded, lips curling into a faint grin. “Not bad at all. You’re starting to get it. There’s only so much the academy can teach you, though. The real lessons—the real training—happens out here.”
Declan sat a little straighter at that. He liked when Brooks complimented him. “I appreciate that, sir.”
“Good man,” Brooks said. Then, as if considering something, he slowed the patrol car down and turned off onto an old, abandoned parking lot. The cracked asphalt stretched out before them, surrounded by a scattering of trees. It looked like a forgotten place, far enough from town that it felt isolated.
Declan frowned curiously. “Something wrong, sir?”
“Nah,” Brooks said, parking the car and shutting off the engine. He turned to Declan with that same faint grin. “I’m going to show you how I do field sobriety tests.”
Declan blinked. “Field sobriety tests?”
“Yeah,” Brooks said, unbuckling his seatbelt and stepping out of the car. “Come on. It’s a little trick of the trade. Maybe you’ll pick up something they didn’t show you at the academy. Besides, it's something we old guys show you rookies, consider it, a rite of passage."
Declan’s curiosity got the better of him. He climbed out of the car, shutting the door behind him, and followed Brooks to the center of the lot. The sun was sinking lower now, casting long shadows across the cracked pavement. A gentle breeze rolled by, rustling the trees, but otherwise, it was eerily quiet.
Brooks pulled a pen from his pocket and held it up for Declan to see. It looked ordinary enough until Brooks twisted it, and the tip lit up with a bright, pretty light. It was a vivid, almost hypnotic color—soft and warm. Declan stared at it a second longer than he meant to.
Brooks chuckled softly. “Special pen. Makes it easier for the subject to focus. You’ve seen this test before, right?”
Declan nodded. “Yes, sir. I know how to conduct it. Hold the pen twelve to fifteen inches from their nose, have them follow it with their eyes while keeping their head still.”
“That’s the basics,” Brooks said, holding the pen up. “But there’s a bit of an edge to it if you know how to do it right.”
Declan tilted his head, intrigued. “Okay, sir.”
Brooks gestured for him to stand still. “I’ll demonstrate. Just follow the light with your eyes. Keep your head still, all right?”
Declan nodded again. “Got it.”
The light flickered on, that same captivating glow drawing Declan’s gaze. Brooks began to move the pen slowly from side to side, the rhythm steady, smooth. At first, it was simple—Declan kept his head still, his eyes tracking the pen as instructed. But something about it felt different, strange.
Brooks’ voice came softly, low and even. “That’s good, rookie. Just follow the light. Let your eyes track the motion. Don’t think about anything else. Just the light.”
Declan felt himself relaxing, his shoulders loosening as he obeyed. His focus narrowed.
“Nice and easy,” Brooks said, the pen moving in the same slow pattern. “Now, as you follow the light, I want you to listen to my voice. You’re doing great. Just let it happen. All your limbs are feeling heavier now. Heavier and heavier.”
Declan’s brows knit faintly, but he didn’t break focus. The words were soft, soothing, weaving through his thoughts.
He didn’t notice it at first—the tingling sensation that started at the base of his spine and worked its way up through his body. It felt good, warm and safe, like slipping under a blanket on a cold night.
“Just keep following the light,” Brooks murmured. “Your arms and legs are so heavy now. It’s easier to let go. To just listen to my voice. That’s all you need to do. Nothing else matters.”
Declan swayed slightly, but he didn’t notice. The pen was so pretty, and Brooks’ voice so calm.
“Okay, sir,” Declan mumbled, his words sluggish.
Brooks smiled faintly, though Declan didn’t see it. The rookie’s movements had grown slower, his eyes glassy but still tracking the pen obediently.
“That’s right,” Brooks said, his voice barely above a whisper now. “Just follow the light. Don’t fight it. Don’t think. Let everything else slip away.”
Declan’s eyelids fluttered as he swayed more noticeably now, his lips parting slightly.
It was always so entertaining to watch. Brooks had done this before, of course—tested his little tricks on a handful of rookies over the years. Some resisted more than others, but in the end, it was always the same. They all sank under eventually.
And Declan? Declan was particularly responsive.
“You’re doing great, rookie,” Brooks said, still moving the light in slow, mesmerizing arcs. “Your body is so heavy now. So tired. But it feels good, doesn’t it? To let go. To relax completely. Just listening to me. Following the light.”
Declan swayed again, his breathing slower now. “Yeah... feels good,” he whispered.
Brooks chuckled softly. “That’s a good boy. You’re almost there. Just a little further.”
He slowed the movement of the pen until it hovered directly in front of Declan’s face, the glowing light reflecting in his wide, unfocused eyes.
“Now, rookie,” Brooks said softly, stepping closer. His free hand came up behind Declan, ready to catch him. “I want you to sleep.”
With that, Brooks tapped Declan’s forehead gently.
Declan’s body went limp immediately, his head falling forward as Brooks braced him easily with one arm. Brooks guided him down slowly, holding him steady as Declan’s weight sagged completely. His breathing was deep and slow, his expression blank and peaceful.
“Good boy,” Brooks murmured, his voice full of satisfaction. His hand came up to caress Declan’s cheek possessively, his thumb brushing over the soft skin. “You’re such a natural. I knew you’d take to this well.”
Declan’s lips moved faintly, as if murmuring something inaudible. Brooks tilted his head, smirking.
“You’re already repeating my words, aren’t you?” Brooks said softly. “You can’t help it. You’re so far under now. So deep.”
The real training could begin.
Brooks shifted, keeping his grip firm on Declan as he whispered into the rookie’s ear. “Now listen to me, Declan. Everything I say becomes the truth. Everything I tell you, you’ll obey without question. Do you understand?”
Declan’s lips moved again. “…Yes, sir.”
Brooks smiled.
“That’s right, rookie. Good boy.”
“Whenever you hear me say the word tingle, you will fall back into this blissful trance,” Brooks said, his voice calm and commanding, lingering just beside Declan’s ear.
Declan’s slackened form stirred slightly, lips parting to respond. “…Yes, sir,” he murmured, his voice distant, dreamlike.
Brooks smiled, satisfied. “Good. Now get up, rookie.”
He pulled Declan upright, steadying the younger man as his weight adjusted. For a moment, Declan swayed, but Brooks held him firm until he could stand on his own. The rookie’s eyes were still glazed over, unfocused, his face soft and relaxed.
Brooks stepped back just enough to take in the sight. The young officer stood there, obedient and pliant, his crisp uniform slightly disheveled. Brooks had always appreciated the look of discipline—the sharpness of the uniform, the pride in how it was worn. But on Declan? There was something more. Maybe it was the way the fabric clung just a little tighter than necessary to his lean frame, emphasizing his youth, his energy.
Brooks reached out again, letting his hand graze Declan’s cheek. Warm, soft skin met his palm, interrupted only by the faint roughness of stubble. A line of drool had slipped from the corner of Declan’s lips, and Brooks’ thumb brushed it away, his touch lingering.
“Attention, rookie. Stand tall,” Brooks commanded, his tone sharpening slightly.
Declan’s body reacted instantly, his training kicking in despite his dazed state. His spine straightened, his shoulders squared, his hands fell to his sides. He stood at full attention, chest slightly puffed out, chin raised.
Brooks smirked, circling him slowly. “Good boy. Flex those muscles for me.”
The words sank into Declan’s hazy mind like an anchor dropping into calm waters. Without hesitation, his body responded, his posture tightening further as his muscles engaged. His arms flexed subtly, his chest lifting as his pecs pushed against the tight fabric of his uniform.
Brooks stopped in front of him, his hands moving with deliberate slowness. He placed them on Declan’s shoulders first, feeling the tension beneath the layers of fabric. His grip moved downward, unzipping the rookie’s vest to give him some breathing room and better access.
“There you go,” Brooks murmured, his hands trailing over Declan’s chest. “Let’s give those muscles some room to work.”
The vest slid open, and Brooks let his hands roam. His palms pressed against Declan’s pecs, firm and defined beneath the taut fabric of his undershirt. He stroked along the curves of the muscles, his touch firm but not rough, kneading them slightly as he spoke.
“Good boy,” Brooks praised, his voice low. “You’ve been working hard, haven’t you? Feels like it.”
Declan sighed softly, his chest rising and falling under Brooks’ touch. The praise washed over him, mingling with the trance in his mind.
"Thank you, sir," he breathed deeply.
Brooks moved lower, his hands brushing over the flat plane of Declan’s abdomen, tracing the faint ridges of muscle beneath the shirt. His fingers lingered on the belt for a moment, then slid up again to feel Declan’s biceps.
“Strong arms,” Brooks said, squeezing the muscles appreciatively. “You’ve been putting in the effort. I can tell.”
Declan murmured something incomprehensible, his body leaning ever so slightly into the touch.
Brooks’ hands returned to Declan’s chest, stroking downward again—and that’s when he noticed it.
The strain in Declan’s uniform.
The fabric of his pants, usually crisp and smooth, had grown noticeably tighter at the crotch. A bulge pressed against the material, faint but unmistakable, the tension pulling the seams taut.
Brooks let his hand hover for a moment before placing it back on Declan’s abdomen, stroking idly. His smirk deepened.
“Well, well,” Brooks murmured, his voice almost teasing. “Looks like someone’s enjoying this a little more than they expected.”
Declan didn’t respond, his head tilting slightly as he let out another soft sigh.
Brooks’ hand trailed upward again, settling on the rookie’s chest once more. “That’s all right, rookie. You’re just doing as you’re told. And you’re doing so well.”
Brooks’ smirk deepened as he stepped closer, his hands firmly gripping Declan’s shoulders, steadying the younger officer as if grounding him. The rookie stood frozen in place, his breath slow and steady, his eyes unfocused but glimmering faintly in the dim light.
“You see, rookie,” Brooks began, his voice a low, velvety murmur, “this isn’t something every new recruit gets to do with me.”
He reached out, letting his hand rest possessively against Declan’s cheek, his fingers brushing through the soft stubble that framed the young man’s jaw. He tilted Declan’s head slightly upward, inspecting him as if savoring the sight.
“Just the eager ones,” Brooks continued, his tone almost mocking. “The willing ones. The ones who absorb every little word I say, who hang onto my instructions like they were born to obey.”
Declan let out a faint sigh, his lips parting slightly as he leaned instinctively into the touch. Brooks chuckled softly, his thumb tracing a deliberate line along the edge of Declan’s jaw.
“And you, rookie,” Brooks murmured, “you were so eager, weren’t you? Hanging on every word. Following every command without hesitation. It’s why you’re here now.”
Declan didn’t respond, his lips trembling faintly as if searching for the right words. Brooks didn’t let him. He moved closer, his hands sliding down from Declan’s shoulders to his chest, fingers splaying over the open vest and the taut fabric beneath it.
“You even asked for a tighter uniform, didn’t you?” Brooks teased, his grin sharp. “Trying to look sharp for me. Or maybe you were just showing off. I know what you are.”
His hand slid lower, brushing over the straining bulge in Declan’s pants. He stroked it teasingly, his fingers pressing just enough to make the tension more noticeable.
Declan shuddered at the touch, his breath hitching.
“That’s right,” Brooks said, his voice barely above a whisper. “I know exactly what you are. And now, rookie, you’re where you’re meant to be. Obeying your sergeant. Doing everything I say.”
His hand lingered, stroking the bulge again, his other hand returning to cup Declan’s cheek. The rookie’s face was warm beneath his palm, flushed and pliant, his body practically melting under the weight of Brooks’ control.
Brooks took a deliberate step back, his boots scuffing slightly against the cracked pavement of the abandoned parking lot. He glanced down at them, then back at Declan, who remained standing tall, his uniform tight against his lean frame, his face blank and pliant.
“I think my boots need some cleaning, rookie,” Brooks said, his voice edged with authority. “Get to work.”
Declan blinked once, his glazed eyes flickering faintly with confusion before the command settled deep into his dazed mind. His body moved automatically, a puppet to Brooks’ will. Without hesitation, he dropped to his knees, the impact of his weight against the ground soft against the cracked asphalt.
Brooks watched, arms crossed, his smirk widening as the rookie leaned forward, his hands resting lightly on his thighs, his head bowing toward the polished black leather of Brooks’ boots.
“That’s a good boy,” Brooks murmured, his voice low and almost affectionate. “You’re learning fast. Just like I knew you would.”
Declan’s tongue darted out hesitantly, the tip grazing the surface of the boot. The leather tasted bitter, cool, and unfamiliar, but Declan didn’t pause. He worked his way along the toe, the motion slow and methodical, his breathing steady as if this was simply another task to complete for his sergeant.
Brooks chuckled, shifting his stance slightly to give Declan better access. “That’s it, rookie. Don’t miss a spot. I want them shining.”
Declan obeyed, dragging his tongue over the contours of the boot, his focus singular and unwavering. The light in his eyes had dimmed further, his thoughts clouded by the trance Brooks had carefully crafted.
Brooks let the silence hang for a moment, broken only by the soft, wet sound of Declan’s tongue against the leather. He drank in the sight of the rookie kneeling before him, so willing, so utterly compliant.
“You look good down there,” Brooks said finally, his tone almost teasing. “On your knees. Maybe that’s where you’re meant to be.”
Declan didn’t respond, his movements smooth and precise as he continued to clean the boot. A faint sheen of saliva coated the leather now, catching the fading light of the evening.
Brooks chuckled as he watched Declan work, the rookie's tongue dragging dutifully over the smooth leather of his boots. The sight was everything Brooks had imagined: obedient, eager, and entirely his. When the rookie finally paused, looking up with that blank, pliant expression, Brooks reached out and ran his hands along Declan’s sides, slow and deliberate, petting him like a dog.
“Good boy,” Brooks said softly, his fingers pressing into the firm lines of Declan’s waist, feeling the tension and warmth beneath the tight fabric of his uniform. “You’ve done well.”
He let his hands linger for a moment before stepping back and barking the next order. “Up, rookie. On your feet.”
Declan moved immediately, his body responding with automatic precision. He rose unsteadily, still swaying slightly from the trance, his eyes half-lidded and his face flushed. Brooks caught him by the chin, tilting his face up so their eyes met.
“There you go,” Brooks murmured, his thumb brushing over Declan’s cheek. His skin was warm to the touch, flushed with heat and something deeper. “That’s a good boy. You’ve earned this, rookie. All of it.”
"Thank you sir," Declan mumbled, his body heavy, but his mind satisfied by the praise.
Declan blinked slowly, his breathing shallow, and Brooks’ grin widened. His hand trailed lower, fingers grazing the damp fabric of Declan’s shirt, lingering on the tension in his chest before moving further downward.
“Oh?” Brooks teased, his tone mockingly surprised. His fingers stopped at the waistband of Declan’s pants, pressing slightly against the taut fabric before stroking over the obvious strain. A dark patch of wetness had begun to spread at the front, soaking into the material.
“Are you wet, rookie?” Brooks asked, his voice laced with amusement. “You are, aren’t you?”
Declan’s lips parted, a faint, trembling sound escaping him as his face flushed deeper.
"Y-yes, Sir," he stuttered.
Brooks’ hand pressed more firmly against the damp spot, stroking teasingly. “You’ve been working so hard for me, haven’t you? Following every command, doing everything I’ve told you. And now look at you.”
He leaned in closer, his voice dropping to a low whisper. “You’re exactly where you’re meant to be. A good, obedient rookie. Isn’t that right?”
“Yes, sir,” Declan murmured, the words barely audible but filled with a dazed certainty.
Brooks smirked, his hand withdrawing as he patted Declan’s cheek possessively. “That’s what I thought.”
Brooks stepped back, his eyes trailing over Declan’s form once more, savoring the way the tight uniform hugged the rookie’s athletic frame. His smirk deepened as he reached out, smoothing the fabric of Declan’s pants, wiping away the faint remnants of gravel before his hands deliberately lingered over the tension at the front.
“This uniform looks good on you, rookie,” Brooks said, his voice low, a hint of possessiveness threading through his tone. “Especially these tight pants.”
"Thank you, sir," Declans voice was barely above a whisper.
Declan stood still, his flushed face tilted downward, his breathing slow and steady as Brooks tugged gently at the fabric, straightening it with deliberate care.
Brooks’ hands moved back up, zipping the vest closed again, patting Declan’s chest with satisfaction. “Perfect. Now let’s get to the car. It’s time for the final step of your training for today.”
Declan nodded, wordless, as Brooks guided him back to the patrol car. The older man opened the door for him, placing a firm hand on Declan’s shoulder to help him inside. Once Declan was seated, Brooks leaned over, pulling the seatbelt across the rookie’s chest and buckling it securely.
“There we go,” Brooks murmured, his hand brushing briefly against Declan’s chest before stepping back and closing the door. He circled the car, slid into the driver’s seat, and started the engine. The low growl filled the air, but Brooks didn’t move immediately.
Instead, he turned to Declan, placing a hand firmly on the younger man’s thigh, squeezing just enough to make his presence unmistakable. Declan stiffened slightly, his eyes flickering toward the touch before settling back into their glazed, empty stare.
“Now, rookie,” Brooks began, his voice soft but commanding. “I need you to focus. Focus all of you—every thought, every feeling—on your cock. Let it consume you.”
Declan’s breath hitched slightly, his chest rising and falling faster now, his body responding instinctively to the command.
“Good,” Brooks said, his hand remaining steady on Declan’s thigh. “Let it all out. Empty your mind. Don’t think. Just feel. Let it build. Let it take over.”
Declan’s eyes fluttered shut, his lips parting as he exhaled a shuddering breath. The tension in his body melted away, leaving him pliant once more, his head tilting slightly against the seat.
“And now,” Brooks continued, his voice dipping lower, almost a growl, “finish your training, rookie. Show me how far you’ve come.”
Declan let out a soft, trembling sound, his body obeying without hesitation as his mind emptied, focusing entirely on the sensation overtaking him. Brooks leaned back slightly, his hand still firm on the rookie’s thigh, watching with satisfaction as Declan surrendered completely, the final step in his transformation into perfect obedience.
Brooks’ grip on Declan’s thigh tightened as he leaned closer, his hand sliding up to firmly hold the rookie’s bulge. The strain beneath the fabric pulsed with tension, and Brooks’ touch remained steady, guiding him through the inevitable.
“That’s it, rookie,” Brooks murmured, his voice soft and coaxing. “Let it all out. Just focus on me, on my hand. I’ve got you.”
Declan’s breath came in shallow, shaky bursts, his body trembling as he surrendered completely. Brooks’ possessive hold didn’t waver, his hand firm and reassuring, controlling every motion as he guided Declan to release.
When it finally happened, Declan’s entire body shuddered, and he let out a low, involuntary groan. His muscles went slack, and he slumped back against the car seat, his chest heaving as the last remnants of tension drained from his body.
The wetness soaked through the tight fabric, against Brooks' palm. His cock throbbed visible, as he gave in completely. His eyes opened briefly just to roll back.
Brooks chuckled, withdrawing his hand but letting it linger on Declan’s thigh, a silent reminder of his control. He surveyed the rookie with satisfaction: flushed, pliant, and utterly spent.
“Good job, rookie,” Brooks said, his voice filled with pride. “You’ve learned fast. You’ve done everything I asked of you, just like I knew you would.”
Declan’s head lolled slightly to the side, his glazed eyes fluttering shut as his body relaxed into the seat.
“Now, rest patiently,” Brooks instructed, his tone soft but firm. “It’s almost time for you to come back. I’ll tell you when we’re at the station.”
He leaned back, gripping the steering wheel as he glanced at Declan one more time, his lips curling into a satisfied smirk. The rookie was perfect—obedient, eager, and exactly where Brooks wanted him. The car rumbled softly as Brooks turned his attention back to the road, driving toward the station with his rookie still deep in his trance, waiting for his sergeant’s next command.
A few blocks from the station, Brooks pulled the patrol car to a stop once more, the engine rumbling briefly before he turned it off. He leaned back in his seat, turning toward Declan. The rookie was slumped slightly, one hand lazily stroking his chest through the fabric of his vest while the other rested over the damp bulge in his pants.
Brooks smirked, shaking his head with mock disapproval. “Now, now, rookie. We need some composure,” he chided, reaching out to straighten the fabric of Declan’s uniform. His fingers lingered over the taut, damp patch, smoothing it as if to hide any evidence of the rookie’s earlier release.“
We don’t want the other rookies to know, do we?” Brooks continued, his voice low and teasing. “They might get jealous.” He chuckled softly, his hand drifting up to caress Declan’s flushed face, his thumb brushing over the rookie’s jawline with possessive care.
“Don’t worry about the older guys, though,” Brooks added with a smirk. “They already know.”
Declan’s lips parted slightly, his breathing steady and shallow, completely under Brooks’ control. Brooks let the silence linger for a moment, his fingers tracing slow, deliberate circles along Declan’s cheek before giving him his final instructions.
“Time to come back, rookie,” Brooks murmured, his voice soft but commanding. “You won’t have any vivid memory from today. Just the little conditioning remains. Understood?”
Declan gave a slow nod, his head tilting slightly into Brooks’ touch. “Understood, sir.”
Brooks leaned closer, his hand moving to cup Declan’s chin. “You won’t bother with the wetness. It will feel natural soon. Understood?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Good.” Brooks pulled back slightly, his smirk returning. “Then rise and shine, rookie. Tingle.”
Declan blinked, his eyes slowly coming back into focus. He shifted slightly in his seat, a faint frown crossing his face before he chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck. “We’re at the station already?” he asked, his tone light and confused. “Must’ve dozed off.”
“It’s fine, lad,” Brooks said with a warm smile, patting Declan’s shoulder. “Didn’t miss anything important.”
Declan smiled sheepishly, still rubbing his chest absently, his fingers drifting over the wet patch without realizing it. Brooks noticed, his amusement hidden behind a professional veneer.
“Listen,” Brooks said casually, leaning back in his seat, “word has it we might be partnered for a while. If you want it, that is.”
Declan’s face lit up, his excitement palpable. “Really? I’d love that, sir.”
Brooks chuckled, gesturing toward the station ahead. “Good. Let’s head back, get changed, and call it a day, huh? You’ve earned it.”
Declan nodded eagerly, already unbuckling his seatbelt as Brooks started the car again. The sergeant smirked to himself as he pulled into the station lot, already planning the next stage of the rookie’s training.
Brooks guided Declan out of the car and toward the station, his hand lingering on the rookie’s back in a steady, reassuring gesture. Declan walked beside him, a slight bounce in his step despite the lingering haze from earlier.
As they stepped inside, the buzz of the station enveloped them. A few older officers lounging near the breakroom glanced up, their eyes immediately settling on Declan. Knowing smirks spread across their faces, subtle nods exchanged as Brooks and his rookie passed by.
“Evening, Sergeant,” one of them called out casually, his tone dripping with amusement.
“Evening,” Brooks replied with a grin, his voice calm and composed.
Their eyes darted to Declan, whose flushed face and slightly rumpled uniform made him an easy target.
“Rookie’s coming along nicely,” another officer said, his voice low enough that only Brooks caught it.
“Oh, he’s going to be such a good cop,” another muttered, barely hiding his chuckle.
Declan didn’t notice the teasing, too focused on walking straight and making his way to the locker room. Brooks kept his hand on Declan’s shoulder, steering him through the space with quiet authority, his expression unreadable but for the faintest trace of satisfaction.
Inside the locker room, Brooks stood back as Declan began unzipping his vest. The younger man’s movements were slow, deliberate, his focus entirely on the mundane task of changing out of his uniform.
“You did well tonight,” Brooks said suddenly, his voice cutting through the quiet hum of the room.
Declan looked up, his face brightening at the praise. “Thank you, sir. I’m just trying to learn as much as I can.”
“You’re learning fast,” Brooks replied, stepping closer and adjusting the collar of Declan’s shirt with deliberate care. “Keep it up, rookie.”
Declan nodded, his chest puffing slightly with pride as he turned back to his locker. Brooks allowed himself one more smirk, the knowing chuckles of the older officers still echoing faintly in his ears.
The rookie had no idea how much he stood out—or how much he was already fitting in.
Brooks leaned against the row of lockers, watching as Declan fumbled slightly with his belt, the rookie’s fingers working the buckle with the kind of earnest determination Brooks found endlessly amusing. When the uniform finally came off, piece by piece, Brooks made no effort to hide his curiosity.
“Go on, rookie,” he said smoothly, gesturing toward the showers. “I’ll handle the report this time. Paperwork’s a pain—you’ll learn it soon enough.”
Declan gave a grateful nod, oblivious to the sharp, appraising look Brooks cast his way as he walked toward the showers, his bare back glistening faintly under the fluorescent lights.
Brooks chuckled under his breath, shaking his head as he turned and exited the locker room. The soft hiss of the showers starting echoed behind him, and he smirked to himself as he made his way down the hall to the breakroom.
The moment he stepped inside, the older officers lounging around the table exchanged knowing glances, their smirks widening.
“Back already, Sergeant?” one of them asked, leaning back in his chair.
“Rookie busy cleaning up?” another chimed in, his tone laced with amusement.
Brooks grabbed a cup from the counter, pouring himself a coffee with deliberate slowness. “He’s doing just fine,” he said, his voice calm but with an edge of satisfaction.
“Bet he is,” one officer muttered, earning a round of muffled chuckles from the others.
“Looks like he’s taking to your methods real well,” another added, nudging his partner with a grin. “Real eager, that one.”
Brooks turned, leaning against the counter with his cup in hand, his expression unreadable except for the faint curve of his lips. “He’s going to be a damn good cop,” he said simply, his tone loaded with meaning.
After some time, Declan emerged from the locker room, freshly showered and dressed in his casual clothes. His hair was still damp, and he wore a comfortable, relaxed expression, a quiet smile playing at the corners of his mouth. He stepped into the breakroom, glancing around before his gaze landed on Brooks.
“See you on Monday, rookie,” Brooks said with a playful pat on Declan’s back, his tone light, though there was a certain weight behind it. The kind of weight that suggested there was more than just casual camaraderie between them.
Declan nodded eagerly, still buzzing from the events of the evening. “Yeah, see you then, sir.” He flashed Brooks a smile before turning toward the exit.
A few older officers, who had been quietly chatting nearby, exchanged amused looks as they watched Declan go.
“You’ve got him well trained, Brooks,” one of them commented, his voice teasing but with a note of admiration.
“He’s gonna be a handful,” another officer added with a knowing grin, leaning back in his chair. “He doesn’t even know it yet, but he’s already hooked.”
Brooks chuckled, his eyes narrowing with amusement as he took another sip from his coffee. “He’s got potential. The rookie’ll be fine,” he said, but there was an unmistakable pride in his voice.
“I’m sure he’ll be quite the asset,” the first officer agreed, his tone light but with a hint of admiration. “Takes a special kind of rookie to make it this far.”
Brooks didn’t respond immediately, but his lips curled into a small, satisfied smile. He watched as Declan headed out the door, unaware of the subtle teasing from the older officers around him. He knew his rookie was already on the path to being just the kind of cop Brooks had been looking for.
“Time will tell,” Brooks murmured under his breath, his gaze lingering on the door where Declan had just exited.
#tf story#male hypno#male hypnosis#male transformation#male tf#gay hypno#gay hypnosis#gay hypno story#gay mind control#male mind control#Male sub#Just imagine brooks voice as Cpt price
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ello! are your requests open? if so id like to request lighter x reader headcannons, can be nsfw
tbh an nsfw alphabet would be awesome but it’s up to you if you wanna do that much
anyways take your time, dont forget to drink water, byee! 👋
Oho? An NSFW alphabet request? For the very first time in all of my years of request writing? Hell yeah sibling! Let's get this show on the road!
After finishing thoughts: I started this before he came out... I was right about so many things about him and ON ACCIDENT... Welp, had to edit very little, but enjoy! Sorry for the long wait thought, that's my bad 😞
Reader: meant for anyone to read! No body parts will be specified and no pronouns except "you/yours" will be used
TW: none (as far as I am aware)
Content type: headcanon
MDNI! THERE WILL BE NSFW AFTER THE CUT!
Lighter NSFW Alphabet
A = Aftercare (what they're like after sex)
Butterfly kisses all over you and cleaning you up. Doesn't mind a quick after sex showers but they're not a must to him, so he'll only hop in if you insist he joins you. If you don't mind being a bit sweaty untill next morning, he'll gladly cuddle you and take a shower with you in the morning before going out to fulfill his duties as the Sons of Callydon's champion.
B = Body part (their favorite body part in themselves and their partner)
Listen, lighter's favorite body parts of his are his hands and face. He knows he's handsome, he knows he's a damned catch, yet your reactions are the ones that make his heart skip a beat. When you cup his face while making out? Oh, that man is putty now, congrats. Absolutely LOVES letting his hands explore your body, clothed or not, specially if your hands are smaller than his. I can imagine him getting even more turned on just by the fact that he's able to hold both of your hands above your head oh so easily, it's as if you were made for him and his hands to hold.
As for you, I'd say he also has a liking to your face, more specifically, your eyes. Lighter loves seing your different expressions, admiring how your eyes shine with the low blaze of the fireplace or how incredibly hot you look with them half-lifded, irises filled with desire as he touches you. Other favorite parts of his are your thighs and neck. Regardless if your thighs are built like sticks or squishy 'mallows, he will bite them, suck on them and mark them, because seeing them quiver at how good he's making you feel swells his heart with pride. And do I need to explain why the neck? Your scent is there, it's easy to see any marks he makes, if you don't wear high collared clothing, and it elicits such lovely reactions when he as much as touches it, so of course he loves your neck, let him bite it please.
C = Cum (anything cum related)
Lighter strikes me as the thick load type of guy. Doesn't release for long but it is thick. Prefers cumming inside of you, but won't argue if you'd prefer him to cum on your stomach. Oh but seeing your face coated in his relase? Immediate boner. He might have just came, but the moment he sees your face with ropes of his cum in it, it's joever, he's hard again and ready to go. Having you swallow his cum is also a big turn on for him, watching you loudly gulp it down just makes him all flustered inside.
However, if he's bottoming? Do whatever as long as it's not on his face, specifically his eyes. Like, he had to undergo surgery there for fuck's sake, so he's probably really finicky about things getting near them. Otherwise, go ham! Make him swallow you cum, coat his insides with it, cum on top of his pecks and/or stomach. Just keep it clean from his eyes and hair and you're Gucci.
D = Dirty Secrets (self explanatory)
He'd absolutely love to fuck you on his bike, I am not joking. The idea of you all beautiful, sweaty, naked on top of the seat of his bike while he fucks you, eats you or sucks you makes him so hard he has to excuse himself if he's around people.
Has an indescribable desire to masturbate together. Like, no sex, just the two of you masturbating in each other's presence or over a phone call. He wants to do it so bad but is INCREDIBLY anxious about asking it, so he'll leave it only for his imagination.
That and his wishes to be controled and degraded by you in bed. When Lucy degrades him? Nothing, nada, just another normal day. However, when you get angry and insult someone else? Gosh, he wishes that were him. You look so hot like that and he had no idea he liked that type of stuff... Also, pegging is involved in the "being controled by you" category. Please peg him. He'll never tell you he wants it, but god he's begging for it to happen mentally.
E = Experience (do they have experience and know what they're doing?)
My brain is split perfectly in the middle with this one. He either has a considerable amount of experience from his time in the underground ring or he has absolutely zero experience besides the few old movies he managed to fetch from the dumps. For the sake of making it more interesting for me, I'm going with the option that this motherfucker is a damned virgin before he meets you.
If you have more experience? Take the lead, show him what you like, how to pleasure you, help him explore himself and what makes his brain tick, what makes his throat tighten and his eyes glaze over. If neither of you have experience? Go slow together, explore each other and learn what each of you likes. He is absolutely embarrassed that he doesn't know what to do, so please be understanding and take it easy on your teasing for the first time.
Listen, I know he gives fuckboy vibes, the man with the rizz, people puller, the master of the dirty tango (kms for this one/j) but like, he only knows how to partially pleasure himself. Otherwise? Lighter has no idea where to touch or what to do. He would absolutely take the naughty tapes he found in the dumps and the few videos his poor internet allows him to acess as a guide, you'd have to slowly guide him through it.
F = Favorite position (self explanatory²)
In my eyes, Lighter doesn't really have a favorite position. He has preferred ones, yes, but he isn't against trying new ones. The ones he prefers more are Missionary and Cowgirl.
Why those two? Well, he can see your face and stare deep into your eyes in both and he also can grab your thighs during cowgirl to bring you down on him. Bonus, missionary can be varied in of itself! Arms around his neck, above your head, tied to the bed, heck it can even turn into a mating press if both of you are up for it. Its versatility and the fact he gets to see you sprawled beneath him or domineering above him makes it his most preferred position by far.
G = Goofy (Are they serious, goody, etc...)
He falls more on the serious side of the coin. Now, Lighter won't be against cracking a joke here and there, but he's not going to do it all the time. Considering we're going with the "Lighter has no sex experience" belief, he'd originally think he'd have to be hella serious during it, thanks to the videos he watched, but as things progress, he'd realize he could be a bit more goofy. It's not goofy all the time for obvious reasons, but he will tease you and strike a joke every now and then. After all, sex is also supposed to be an enjoyable and fun activity, and jokes are funny, right?
H = Hair (how well groomed? Do the color match?)
Listen, dude might live in the Outer ring, but I like to imagine he is partially groomed. He sees it getting too long and trims it, that's all he does, he doesn't want to yank it or fully shave it. As for color, yes, the carpet does match the drapes, albeit they're slightly more wavy down there at the very tip
I = Intimacy (are they romantic during it?)
Lighter is, to no one's surprise, very romantic during it (or tries to be). We already know that he is weak to romance, and I quote, would be willing to die for love. So, as someone who values you a LOT, he'd be romantic, trust. Kissing you while he fucks you, telling you how much he loves you, this man is pulling all the cards.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanons)
So, I mentioned it earlier, that sometimes he gets so hard he needs to jack off in order to get back to duty. Does it happen often? No, no it doesn't. Lighter is very well composed majority of the times and very respectful of you and your wishes. If you're not up for it, he'll understand and just go take care of his needs by himself. He doesn't see it as being neglected because, hey, not everything's about sex and his partner's wishes are just as important as his.
Now, if Lighter gets a hard on just as he's about to depart for a job with the Sons of Callydon, bro will be so frustrated (and embarrassed), get off his bike, excuse himself for five minutes (it's two), go at it as fast as he humanly can without hurting himself, clean as best as possible, go back like nothing happened and go to the mission. He has a reputation to keep, he can't be looking disheveled after a quick one or let anyone KNOW he beat a quick one, by that matter.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
This is the part where my brain wrecks itself because "do I throw my own shit here or do I go crazy?", so I decided to do BOTH!
Lighter striked me as the type to be super into degradation and praise during it. Getting degraded by you, called a slut, a dirty whore and the likes? Oh gosh, he's whimpering, he's a mess, he needs more. After the one time Lighter heard you degrade someone, that kink woke up. And boy oh boy, he might look all cool and stuff, taking compliments from others relatively well, but the moment YOU compliment him? It's over, he's a flustered shy mess and he will deny it to his GRAVE. However, complimenting him during it, saying how good he's doing, will make him almost immediately cum. He is a SERVICE first and foremost, keep that in mind.
Another one he looks like he'd have would be heat play specifically. Drip body safe wax on his body and watch him shiver at the sensation, he loves it. Also choking, please let him do it to you or do it to him. Like I said earlier, he loves your neck and loves seeing his hands on your body, so his hands enveloping your neck? Oh boy, that's so hot to him.
Another one: shibari. Tie him up or let him tie you up. That kink goes along his powerplay, not in a master way, because I think he'd cringe at that, but in a "I am in control here" situation. Being completely under your control is exhilarating to him and he'd absolutely love it. And another obvious one to me, biting. He loves seeing his bitemarks on you and loves the thought of being bitten back (if you do it, he will let out a low moan, so be aware of the power you hold)
L = Location (favorite locations to go at it)
Lighter prefers to be intimate in the comfort of his or your room. Or a secluded place where you two won't be seen, heard or be at risk of danger. He likes the persona he has in front of others and doesn't wanna ruin that but he also really appreciates his privacy, specially for things and situations such as these. While he's not opposed to doing it in public, he'd much rather do it at home, in your shared bed or at any location inside your house.
M = Motivation (what gets them going?)
Seeing you in little to no clothing. Yes, he's seen you naked, yes he's seen you in your underwear, yet it still gets him needy for you, same goes for sexy and/or tight clothes! You whispering dirty things into his ear, your consent and eagerness to go at it just as much as him ough, it makes him go crazy. Have you ever heard the saying "consent is sexy"? Yeah, that's Lighter's motto. He sees you consenting to him fucking your brains out? He's 10x more bricked now, good luck.
N = No (things he wouldn't do, turn offs)
Anything that involves blood. It's common knowledge he cannot stand the sight of it properly, so anything that involves blood is a no go. Also, consensual noncon is also a no go to him. Yes, you might have given your consent, but it feels wrong to him and makes him uncomfortable, so no.
O = Oral (giving, receiving, skill, etc...)
He is pretty indifferent on wether he receives or gives. But again, we're in the "Lighter is a virgin" timeline, therefore, he's not very... Skilled? I mean, he is naturally talented, but besides what he knows from masturbation, he's pretty much in the dark.
Once he gets the ropes though, he's a fucking expert at it, eats you out like you're his favorite dish and sucks you so well like GOD no one has given you head that good before...
Will melt and become a mess if you eat him out or give him head though. Eat him out for the first time and he'll be conflicted, but also on cloud 9. So, give him a break after so he can catch himself and process how he feels about this (he likes it, please eat him out more).
P = Pace (self explanatory³)
Lighter is, at first, slow and insecure. He has no experience, after all. But once he knows what he likes and what you like, it's on sight. You want fast and rough? Alright, he gotchu, you want him to go deep and strong but slow? Already on it! He can vary his pace pretty easily but, when on the receiving end, go rough. When he's feeling sore, be gentle with him but otherwise, go as rough as you can. He wants to feel every part of himself screaming the next day due to how good you made him feel.
Q = Quickie (opinion on them)
Doesn't mind them but prefers longer sessions. If the both of you are horny and in a rush, sure, he doesn't mind it, but wouldn't trade it for long nights with you.
R = Risk (do they take them)
Lighter prefers to play things safe. He is willing to experiment, yes, but if it involves risky things, you'll both need to have a looong talk about it and ensure you're prepared in case anything happens. If you TRULLY want it, he can try, but he'd prefer not to take unnecessary risks, specially not with you
S = Stamina (self explanatory⁴)
Bro is a BOXER for fuck's sake, he has a really good stamina. Can go until you're tired but usually lasts up to 5-6 rounds. Can last more with the... Right incentive (cough cough, aphrodisiac, cough cough), but comfortably lasts 5 and 6 with strain. He starts to cum faster after round 3 so... Be aware of that
T = Toys (do they own any? Do they use them? Self or partner?)
Again, virgin Lighter timeline. He has them, but most likely hasn't used them due to his anxiety. But if you offer to use it on him, he's not so opposed to it- oh, oh he's a moaning mess now... Welp, there's your answer, ig. Vibrators get to him faster, so if you make him use one in public, it'll take all of his might to maintain his composure and not just fucking FALL. He prefers when you use toys on him, but is willing to use them on you too if you really want it.
U = Unfair (do they tease? How much?)
Yes, he teased. When he's on top and dominating, he's going to tease you a lot, specially if you're acting a bit... Bratty. But when he's bottoming? Oh he's a brat, alright. He teases the ever living shit out of you because he finds your reactions endearing (and because it gets you to fuck him harder more often than not)
V = Volume
Top → grunts and huffs, bottom → moans and whimpers. Listen, his noise and his volume depend on his position and it is final. If he's bottoming, he'll be loud, moaning like a bitch in heat, cursing everything because of how good you're making him feel. But if je tops, he lets out more grunts, groans and growls. He'll still curse, but in more of a gruff voice when compared to bottom Lighter moments.
W = Wild Card (a random headcanon for the character)
Listen here, he's either trans and has the juiciest pussy known to man, or he has the biggest dick ever. In both headcanons he has mantits and ass, ok, those are interchangeable. He also likes when you slap his ass and collar him.
Do it, I dare you, he'll moan.
If you slap his ass in public he'll flinch and let out a TOTALLY not manly yelp and will proceed to glare at you with flushed cheeks.
Oh yeah, he also hides his flushed face behind his scarf (when he has it in hands, otherwise he uses his arms)
X = X–Ray
9 inches, slight curved up and thick. Rosy tip, methinks, with some veins popping out very slightly (good luck sucking that)
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
A considerably normal sex drive, when compared to his stamina. His mind is dirty, sure, but he doesn't want it all the time. When he wants it, though, it hits him kinda hard. Please help him, he's not rlly good at hiding it.
Z = Zzz (how fast do they fall asleep?)
Kinda fast, actually. He strikes me as the type to fall asleep considerably fast when he's not stuck overthinking... Or when he's been sucked dry beyon belief, turned into a raising, even. So yeah, he falls asleep easily as long as he isn't overthinking or is deadass tired
Written by Cramathonn on 30/12/2024 [dd/mm/yy]
Finished at 11:02pm
#zenless zone zero#lighter zzz#zzz x reader#zenless zone zero x reader#lighter x reader#zzz#storytellerdemon
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Writing Ideas: Evil Plan
This trope is the reason "villains act, heroes react"; the villain needs to be doing something evil or the hero has no evil to thwart.
Some popular examples of Evil Plans:
Take Over the World: This is the most popular villainous scheme of all. The scale of conquest can vary depending on the setting and (or) the villain—some warlords are content to settle with conquering a city, a kingdom or nation, while Science Fiction or Fantasy overlords will go for nothing less than galactic, universal or even multidimensional domination.
The Evils of Free Will: A popular means to this end: by robbing everyone of their free will, they will have no choice but to serve their rightful ruler.
Assimilation Plot: Let's turn everyone into a single entity, whether they wish it or not.
Earth-Shattering Kaboom: Why take over the world when you can blow it up? Like Take Over the World, the scale of destruction also varies depending on the setting — some villains are content with merely destroying a city or kingdom (particularly if they feel the city or kingdom has somehow wronged them — i.e., revenge), while Omnicidal Maniacs may well wish nothing less than to destroy the entire universe or multiverse.
Kill All Humans. Related tropes: Feeling Oppressed by Their Existence: A character wants to get rid of a particular person or group of people just for existing. Absolute Xenophobe: Wants to destroy all other sentient life (human or otherwise). Omnicidal Maniac: Wants to destroy absolutely all life, sentient or not. Final Solution: The intentional extermination of a species/demographic is the answer to fix a perceived issue. Humanity's Wake: The outcome of this trope should the opposing species succeed in eradicating us.
In Their Own Image: Not happy with the world the way it is? Try tearing it down, and building it back up as something even greater.
The End of the World as We Know It: Not so much destroying the world or humanity as really screwing up civilization; though the former two may be involved in the bargain.
A God Am I: Forcing everyone to acknowledge their godhood (actual godlike powers optional).
Godhood Seeker: Make your character an actual deity.
Immortality Seeker: Pursue the quest for eternal life, no matter what foul deeds are needed to make it happen.
A Plot in Deed: Steal the deed to a plot of land and you'll own it, so why not steal the deed to somewhere good?
MacGuffin: Steal an ancient artifact with untold powers. This is usually done in the pursuit of one of the other Evil Plans.
Sealed Evil in a Can: Release the source of all Evil from its prison. This rarely goes well for the villain attempting it.
Revenge: You know that guy that wronged you in the past? It doesn't matter how petty or misplaced your grievance is, it's payback time. Time to kill him, or make his life a living hell.
Get-Rich-Quick Scheme: If you're already rich, get richer. Any scheme is fair game in the pursuit of the profit margin, be it theft, blackmail, or auctioning the world off to hungry demons. Unfortunately, this lust for wealth falls prey to poor planning.
Utopia Justifies the Means: You know how people keep hurting themselves and each other? Make them stop, by whatever means are necessary. No ill will required! Just like in Take Over the World, The Evils of Free Will often gets put into play here.
Dystopia Justifies the Means: People hurting each other? That's exactly what your society needs. Use all the means at your disposal to create a nightmarish dystopia where the forces of evil run rampant and people live in constant terror and corruption, just the way the villains like it.
Poke the Poodle: Their idea of evil is harmless behavior like cheating at Solitaire, jaywalking on an empty road, chewing gum in Singapore, pulling the "do not remove" tag off of your mattress, hiding your toothpaste, drinking the milk directly from the carton...
Source ⚜ More: References ⚜ Writing Resources PDFs
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I LOVEEEE YOUR WRITING!! Especially for Prowl and Starscream!!
also, just a question—what do you think about sunder??
Oooooh, I’d honestly forgotten about him and his level of psycho. He’d be hard to balance he’s so crazy and violent, but it could be done. He’d probably be terrifyingly obsessive once he fixates on something, though
18+ mass displaced mech 🌶️
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Stand Too Close Pt 11
IDW Prowl x Reader
• Tension and stress at bay for the moment, he vents against your warm skin just to feel you shiver under him, his chin on your belly, partially sprawled on you and keeping you pinned flat on your back. Not completely trusting this intimacy or that you’re not fighting him. Almost missing it as crazy as it is, the verbal sparring with you. Being able to speak his mind. To be himself. Not who he has to pretend to be. More relaxed right now than he can ever remember even before the war.
• “I like you better when you smile,” you say, fingers lazily tracing along his chevron. “Otherwise you’re just a bastard.” Those blue optics flick up to glare at you, catching your fingers and pulling your hand to him to gently bite down on your wrist just hard enough to leave the impression of his denta and, most likely, a bruise later as you gasp. In the back of your mind there’s the uncomfortable thought that you should stop teasing him, stop provoking him as good as the repercussions feel. Because you’re starting to almost like the jerk and there’s no way that’s not going to hurt you down the road. You know it. Know that the hate and resentment are still there, tangled together in the high of him. Angry sex, hate fucking, is good and all, but you’re not sure that’s what this is anymore. At some point it started feeling real.
• What is that emotion that passes so quickly across your face he almost misses it? Before he can figure it out, you slide a foot against him, along his thigh and nudge his spike with your toes. Unable to behave. “I’m the bastard?” He growls, shifting to cage you under him and press his face against your throat, feeling those soft hands on his helm, urging him higher. Mouth sliding against yours as he gives you what you want and not at all surprised when you try to bite his lip again. Realizing that he wants more than this, than something solely physical as he brushes his mouth over yours, head lifting. “Tell me something about you.”
• “Now?” You demand in exasperation as his hand slides under the back of your head to cup it and he shifts against you, that spike brushing your inner thigh with the promise of heat and passion. Those blue optics unyielding as he doesn’t move where you need him. Waiting as you swear softly, feeling his servos tangling in your hair. Why does he care suddenly? “Like what?”
• “Do you have siblings? A family?” Door wings lifting as he shrugs, he realizes that he knows nothing really. You’re a stranger to him just like he is to you despite knowing each other’s bodies intimately and it bothers him. Wants to know your dreams, what you enjoy, what you hate. All of it. “What did you do before-” Trailing off instead of finishing. Before he ruined your life. Before he took all your dreams away.
• It’s the first time he’s actually looked guilty about taking you and your heart aches as he grimaces. Every time you’ve ever brought it up, it ended in you both yelling at each other. Hating each other and trying to hurt each other. He’s never apologized for it and you doubt he ever will. There will probably always be that hurt, that pang of anger inside you at having your life derailed by him, but you don’t really hate him for it. Can’t when you’re starting to see the real him under the cold indifference. That fiery anger, that crooked smile and surprising laugh he hides from the world under all the ice. Arching up, you brush your mouth against his. Don’t want to talk about the things that are lost to you now, because they still hurt. Just want to get lost in him, replace that ache with something new. Something that feels dangerously like actual affection.
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