#other than the fact im on a lot of meds but i cant exactly change that

[heartyearning]

why does liverpain manifest so fucking suddenly out of seemingly nowhere & all the ““remedies”“ online are like long term ‘eat nothing but salad until one day you’ll die’ situations . nothing makes me feel more murderous than liver hurty. luckily nothing makes me slower to move around too

[queernuck]

so, last night my dad got home with dinner, was being his usual somewhat odd self, was just generally acting like the asshole he tends to be and it was just kind of business as usual. Nothing out of the ordinary, just that he tends to be, well, an asshole. and that wasnt unexpected, he gets like that a lot, and i can deal with it.

yesterday, at some point, I realized that I probably need a refill on my clonazepam script, which I cant verify without asking, who always gets really bitchy about it, who makes sure that she makes it as demeaning and awful of an experience as possible to even talk about these things. she is very good at it, as well, and knows exactly what things to say to be insulting, to be vicious, to make me feel vulnerable and awful and more than anything just makes me feel worthless. and like, this is a routine thing for her, she takes whatever opportunities she can to make me feel this way and is very open about that. i have no idea if she realizes how miserable i am, and if she did then she would likely blame me, would yell at me about not responding to TMS or claim that I ruined its efficacy by doing drugs over the course of treatment (which is...more than a bit ridiculous) or just generally looking at me with contempt

by contrast, my dad at least makes some occasional attempts at reaching out, sometimes seems to have a sense of how much pain i am in, although not really accepting it in full, not really understanding it, not getting it. and last night was just another example of him not getting it, not understanding it. he specifically said that psych meds are apparently to help me get better, are not supposed to be things that you take long-term. which, well, that is something that I might argue in certain circumstances and in fact I want to be off of my SSRI because I feel it has not been helpful, I want to change ADHD meds to one that is a stimulant so that I get actual use out of it instead of it just being...whatever the fuck Strattera IS, as an incredibly expensive drug that has no real usefulness for me, and I want to stay ON Clonazepam because it is at least SOMETIMES helpful, and in fact would like to ADD another benzodiazepine like a high dose of Ativan or a decent prescription of Xanax so that I have something for acute anxiety as well as to treat the underlying and structurally-embedded anxiety I have so much trouble with.

but that is about my own personal needs, as well as an anti-psychiatric perspective that itself flows through being relatively familiar with psychiatry and how it works, how it feels to be in psychiatric care, how psychiatry abuses people. he, on the other hand, just doesnt take the meds hes prescribed because...thats just how he is. like, he doesnt take meds for his thyroid, or B12 despite having an absolutely AWFUL memory, like a fucking ATROCIOUS memory, and has never done anything about likely having ADHD. he just does not give a shit, he just has a perspective on meds that is more than a little bit absurd, and he is proud to impose that on me, too!

and so when I was asking about my clonazepam prescription, how many I had left, kind of anxious because all of a sudden I had fixated on worrying that I maybe didnt have enough, that I maybe would run out, so on, so I asked him to make sure that I had enough for the next few days. I asked this in the evening, after dinner, because I hoped that he would be able to check for me without needing to ask my mom, who would then use it as an opportunity to chastise me or scorn me or whatever. and he was deflecting and asking why I need to know and just generally being obstinate and awful and a fucking asshole, and then he told me to just go downstairs, like as a kind of “go to your room”-esque statement.

and he got mad enough that he was banging his fucking fist on the table, which was terrifying! i was genuinely scared and I wanted to get the fuck out of there so I tried to bolt, pissed and scared and just in an awful fucking mood, and he got mad at me for that too, for storming off when he was the one who was escalating shit.

and then, after all of that, he guilts me into listening to him go on about the mistakes he’s made with me, the ways that he made mistakes more generally, all of that. he said that the biggest mistake he ever made was sending me off to college at Trinity, and like, I don’t know if he meant that in the sense of not making me go to a school that gave me money, or if he thought sending me off to college as a WHOLE is something that he never should have done, or if this or that or the other thing was like, a mistake. I genuinely have no idea. I know that he also said something about it being a mistake to have let me work on a political campaign and that the nastiness of an electoral campaign was awful and that like, I think he was implying that it was what moved me to the left and as a result bad things happened? Im not really sure on that. Im not sure him or my mother realize that like, the beginning of my own major depression, the beginning of the turn that lead to the lows I’ve had since began while I was at school and just kept on getting worse, I have no clue. I do know that they blame me for it, I know they think I just haven’t worked hard enough.

And now I’m here. I’m sad. I’m real fucking sad. I’m lonely. I feel worthless. I feel like an awful person. I also want to get right back to doing the exact sort of things that my parents think make me an awful person! like, I really want some fucking heroin or some coke right now. I really have trouble dealing with the world while im sober, i really hate being forced into sobriety through this, through my parents taking my ID, taking my paychecks, making it so that the only places I go are my workplace and home. I hate it, I fucking hate it and I am so tired of it, so fucking TIRED, that I legitimately want to off myself but am at such a low place that I can hardly even think about figuring out how to go about doing that, how to make it so that I at least can have a glimmer of hope, one last moment of “wow, I at least did some cool things” before I go so that I can feel as if I’m leaving meaningfully.

theyre keeping me relatively close to the sobriety they want but they are doing it by making my life fucking miserable, by making it so that I have to struggle, so that I am basically being hung out unsympathetically to dry. next weekend, while she visits my siblings down in DC, my mom is going to be taking part in a walk against addiction held by a foundation that has been embraced by my aunt after her son, my cousin, died of an OD after a relapse. my mom is a former nurse, and is a fucking unsympathetic person when it comes to addiction and substance abuse. she seems to have no understanding of why people resort to using drugs, she has been mocking and patronizing when talking about my own drug use, and always looks at it in the most awful terms possible. but that’s just who she is, that’s just how my dad is, all of this is where I am stuck right now.

i want to be fucking out.

[elsewhereuniversity]

ASKS - Mini Stories/Headcanons/Ideas

Little ask-stories sent to my main blog, posted here!

violetsnowstorm555 said: Archaeology majors agree never to dig anywhere near campus for fear of what might come up.

Anon said: What about that one kid who thinks the fair folk are actually ALIENS

k4t3yk4t said: There was that one occasion with the Vegan™ freshman who discovered the black fur coat in her roommate's closet. She was so appalled... She stole it, not to keep, but to confront her roommate later about. She never got the chance to. She wasn't seen for months, but eventually came back. She was different, when she did, though.. And never went near the pool again.

unicorn-aly said: The Girl With The Eye Tattoo on The Back Of Her Neck™; To always be kind to That One Janitor; don't pass that broom closet unless it's a life or death situation (and even then run as fast as you can); to say your purpose and you mean no harm when you enter That Room; leave exactly 9 cups of vanilla creamer under that tree; don't step on the tiny hills lest your head should face the opposite way for the rest of your life; never ever EVER pick up and keep the things you find in the mini garden 2/3

(I can’t find the other two asks connected to this which is a tragedy bc this fragment is a Gem)

chaoswolf1982 said: I am sooooo tempted to headcanon that EU is one of the places where citizens from Night Vale attend for higher education, but due to NV's own innate weirdnesses, those who've attended find absolutely nothing unusual or strange about the place, it being equivalent to them as being a quiet and plain small-town college. A good math program, decent arts scholarship, but nothing particularly stands out about it.

scarymaryanne said: OHMYGOD I'm in love with Elsewhere Uni! Just thinking about the RAs and how far they are willing/allowed to go to keep their students from getting nabbed. Like a rota for who rings the bells at dawn and dusk and no one will ever skip that duty, not again. And watching for signs of who might get taken. You can't foil them all the time cos they get mad but that tiny dance major on your floor is TOO fragile to revel with the Gentry and you will camp outside their door with salt and iron and the RAs who go in at the end of the year to get back those who were taken spend all year hoarding favours and gifts to use to get people out. They keep the crows sweet because while they would never, ever spy on the Fair Folk they've been known to drop tidbits of information and gossip that come in handy. They're the silver tongued English and Poli-sci majors who know exactly how to wheedle those who were taken back home

thecommrade said: EU idea. That one kid that everything seems to revolve around them. Are they the ring master? Are they a fae? Do they have forbidden dark magic? Nobody really knows. They're honestly too crazy to get a straight answers from them. Its always some cryptic poem of nonsense.

themarginalthinker said: They slide their notebook towards you. "I won't bite, promise!" You look down at the offering, the bullet points and neatly written summaries of the professor's lecture. Though sleep-deprived you are, pull away, sudden sickening realization of what you've done. They're smiling again, and there's something pinched between their fingers - a single hair. You'd taken their offer. They took their due. You don't acknowledge them day after next. Their eyes don't match. You know that hair color. You try to get your bearings on what's going on in class, not paying a whole lot of attention to the new student. Who is paying a lot of attention to you. "Bad week, huh?" They ask. You nod absently, suddenly realizing you don't know anyone really well in this class enough to ask for notes. Damn it..."Want to see mine?" The new student asks. You look over, finally - they seem friendly enough, an why not. Their eyes do not match. "Um..." You hesitate. They smile and /their eyes do not match/.

roseverdict said: headcanon: EU's school song rings a little longer, a bit louder, at home games. and in dorms. and honestly it's always playing just out of hearing range for the upperclassmen but the freshmen are freaking out that there's the song aLWAYS GOING-

solongraggedydoctor said: Elsewhere university. Their are three distinct types of non believers who attend. All three arrive unaware of the far world type 1) rapidly changes their views on the world, and accept and believe. Type 2) they willingly follow the rules, as they've seen what happens otherwise, but they say they don't believe, if just so if it turns out to be a joke they don't look stupid, they get got a few times. Type 3) they outright deny, and oddly, no matter what they do, nothing happens ... And oddly, no matter what they do, nothing ever happens to them. They show disrespect, follow none of the fae rules, and are still left alone, but then, towards the end of their final year, they kinda just seem to disappear, and no one really seems to remember where they went, and even years after the fact, no one you know has had any kind of contact with type 3, other than rumours that they moved away, and did something unnoteworthy. 

las-lus said: About elsewhere university: Kids who dont notice time running slower because "fuck, isnt this how it usually runs in calculus' class?". Kids who Starr drawing weird shit on their notebooks and their friends dont know if its from that weird geometry class, if they started a new drawing style of If they've been abducted. Im majoring in physics and really I cant stop thinking How hard would It be for us to notice If our friends had been taken

kass-king-of-sass said: Hi, just wanted to say your stuff for elsewhere university is amazing. I don't know if you're still accepting stuff and I've never submitted an ask like this before but here goes. I've been imagining mischievous or angered fae living in residence halls and playing tricks on the inhabitants. Pulling the fire alarm at 2 am, locking people out of their rooms, messing with the thermostats, burning food in the microwaves, things like that. All the hallmarks of a bad roommate but with a fae twist.

Anon said: There are certain alleys on campus that, on some nights, lead to faerie pavilions. If you bring them an offering, the fair folk will let you dance with them and will not harm you as long as you don't eat the food and leave before dawn.

Anon said: Oh, oh! I'm an interior design/architect student! Just imagining all the little tricks of the eyes that you could learn from the fae and then implement in human design is so exciting!

Anon said: sorry im sure youre getting a veritable INFLUX these days but imagine: student at Elsewhere whose parents' expectations have guided them into med/law/some other 'esteemed' course but theyre secretly into/good at art or singing or something. the fae would have such good sport luring them away after they sang under their breath in the wrong part of campus or one of their pages of doodling got blown in the breeze out of the window :3:3

Anon said: A freshman who lives off campus in her own apartment but Knows more than any other freshman or off campus student. She smiles and speaks carefully eyes always watching she goes by a name that's familiar to some until one night at a party she challenges one of Them to a game of 21. She drops 2 pictures on the table one of 2 girls a younger her and dark haired girl with a duffle bag in her hands and the other is of the dark haired girl with a boy who has empty eyes. "I want to see my sister again"

Anon said: In the end, it turns out she was never any different from you. She just happens to be from Iceland, just happened to have grown up with Gentry in her garden and the sea in her back yard. The one place where one lives with Them in the mountains, the one place where even the government respect Them. She never needed salt, she had hemmed her skirts with rocks and painted her nails with volcanic ashes. You conclude that international students can be just as foreign as the Fae (3/3)

Anon said: A student invested in geopolitics strikes a deal; "Give me the power to stop the corporate damming and I'll make sure no human ever nears the Nile". After all, the fae doesn't care whether their actions hurt the humans, and the student now posses unprecedented bargaining chip against at least four different governments

[crystal-cloudy]

A bunch of shit you never asked for

My mind was going at a mile a minute last night for hours and has been ever since before then and hasn’t stopped except for occasional deep sleep naps. So I feel the need to write down half the things that I was thinking because I don’t have anyone I feel comfortable talking to these days and unless I write down my thoughts I’m never going to sleep again, which makes my depression worse and then I just cut again and again and I ain’t in the mood for that shit.

So here’s a bunch of shit you never asked for*

*Note, I really want to buy a notebook to write all my thoughts in, so I don’t have to deal with computer battery and crap, but I haven’t found The One yet. I don’t know why but notebooks and sketchbooks have personalities to me, which is why I don’t write these things in the sketchbooks I already have. That’s not for them.

My dream location is to go to Prague. God I love the idea of going to Prague. i’ve travelled a lot in my relatively short life thanks to my dad constantly having to travel in order for work and said work expenses being paid so he can actually do shit, but ive never gone where ive wanted to go. I want to see the looming gothic structures of Prague, i want to see what became of bohemia after fascism, i want to see it all. i want to read gormenghast too, i really want to read that.

i think i came up with the reason why no matter what im always lonely. im a secondary friend for just about everyone i know. it’s at a point where they will talk to me for days and hours and ill learn so much about them and feel like they care about me without my having said anything and then they go away to a new favorite for at least a month, and i am secondary. i am there to talk about the primary and nothing more. and every now and then they remember that i exist and i have mental illness and i am in pain and alone and have never had anyone really there, and they try to come back and be my friend but we both dont know how, and in the time that theyve been gone ive tried to teach myself to hate them. i can’t be their friend after ive tried to hate them in order to remember that i never told them anything of importance and we never really were friends.

everyone else in my life is somewhere ahead of me. i dont mean in the stereotypical path of life, i mean in what i want. i want so badly to find love and to not be alone and to experience freedom but i never will and my friends already have it. they’re not exactly able to relate to me without me feeling dead inside. because they have signification others, or are okay without significant others, or know that they are attractive to people so that even if there’s no one good enough there yet, they know they’ll find someone. I’m so far behind and I feel constantly dejected and condescended to. People will talk to each other and they’ll say things like “so i know you’ll understand because you have a boyfriend...” and they’ll talk to me about how in love they are and ask me for romance advice and i just want to die right there because im so alone and unloved and i never will find that kind of relationship.

And it’s impossible to think anyone ever will find me attractive. I work so hard to lose weight and be healthy, and I think i’m getting somewhere and then i find out i’ve gained back half the weight i lost and i just want to hide myself forever and die and never show my face to the light of day. im so ugly, and my body is covered in scars and stretch marks and i’m still too fat for the amount of exercise i do and my age, and there’s nothing i can do without drastic change or eating things that make me throw up (no not laxatives. food that is considered healthy for whatever reason has made me gag and throw up since i was a little girl). and i just hate it so much because i work so hard to be healthy and lose weight and nothing really matters and i’ll never reach my goals. and we had to present a lab to the class in anatomy and i was one of the subjects and ive never felt more disgusted with myself and the teacher asked why we didnt use BMI for our experiment (she meant it innocently though) and it felt like a knife sinking into my chest, i felt so singled out for being so huge. I hate being so tall and so fat. If you’re short and fat, it evens out and you can be cute. if you’re tall and fat, then you’re this awful creature that takes up space and is barely human and is considered some kind of neanderthalic idiot. most of my friends think im proud of being tall because i constantly joke about it, but i really hate it. i wish i was small and compact and didnt stretch off the end of the bed or be too big for some blankets to cover. 

and colleges are starting to respond again and i dont want to hear back from them. people keep congratulating me that 5 colleges have accepted me and while i know that’s better than some, my top colleges have an acceptance rate that’s almsot 40% lower than the colleges that accepted me and i need money.

and my mom keeps stressing me out because she talks to me about our financial problems (and refuses my offers of help) and trying to plan out things for next year when my dad has to be in singapore for 6 months, some of which is while my sister and i will be in college, and they cant do anything until they know what im doing, but i cant know what im doing until ive heard back from all my colleges, and shes acting as though it’s my fault that i probably wont get accepted to those schools, while my dad is still denying the fact that it was almost impossible in the first place for me to be accepted in those selective schools and making me feel guilty for the fact that i probably will be rejected.

but rejection is something im used to at this point.

i missed 2 days on my antidepressant meds because i didnt tell my mom how low i was on meds until very late, and i didnt want to admit to her that i had forgotten because she constantly yells at me about it, and i didnt want her to stress about getting the meds, and i felt no difference off the meds and i wonder why.

people always tell me im a really empathetic person and i wonder how true that is. i care about and relate to and want to know them, but im so egotistical and self centered i doubt that’s true.

my sister was home for a week and i love her a lot so it was theoretically wonderful, but i always forget that she sees me as her lesser so i always feel worse about myself whenever shes here. i love her so much, shes always been my savior and closest friend, but im good for nothing to her except as a placeholder until something better shows up or as a pawn in her screaming arguments with my dad.

Speaking of my dad i finally came to my conclusion about him, and actually talked about it with my sister and we agreed on a theory about why he hates us: he adores our mom (which he does), and she always wanted kids so he was happy to oblige, and he wanted kids too, but boys, or at the very least STEM geeks or athletes. We’re both none of those. and he doesnt care about us beyond toting his legacy, and if we dont do a good enough job of that he doesnt care about us at all.

i finally got my license saturday before last, and i was so happy because i always felt excluded by people because i wasnt able to drive myself places and would always have to ask for a usually unavailable ride. but then the minute i got my license, people stopped doing things and only ask me for my availability for times that ive already told them im unavailable for. it’s like when i got my license a mass text went out to everyone i know warning them that i could transport myself now, and they shouldnt plan anything in case i show up.

another big thing was supposed to happen last week that would have at least been something to try and help my weird obsession with being excluded: we were going to go to the phone store and trade in my samsung galaxy for an iphone. i wanted an iphone, no matter the number/age/condition, for no reason other than i wanted to be able to have group texts/chats. every single camp or class i went to, the people who i got on with would make a group chat. and of course, i couldnt be a part of it. part of me thinks of it as a thats life kind of thing. the other part remembers that no one was a particular fan of me anyway, and they probably were more than happy to not be in contact with me.

it didnt happen and i dont know if im grateful or sad.

[deafeningcreationperson-blog]

Chesterfield Massachusetts Cheap car insurance quotes zip 1012

"Chesterfield Massachusetts Cheap car insurance quotes zip 1012

Chesterfield Massachusetts Cheap car insurance quotes zip 1012

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Chesterfield Massachusetts Cheap car insurance quotes zip 1012

Chesterfield Massachusetts Cheap car insurance quotes zip 1012

Lowest insurance cars for 17 year old / first car?

i'm looking to buy my first car and wanna spend about 1000, does anyone know a good lads car around this price with comparatively low insurance for young drivers? thanks peoplee!""

Auto insurance involuntarily cancelled?

I got a new auto insurance begining June. And I had an hail damage and hit and run case towards the end of June. On July 30 there was an accident, other person involved was at fault as he rear-ended my car. I reported all these occurances. I get a involuntary cancellation of the auto insurance policy after a couple of days. They sent me this notice and also made me aware of the right to dispute this with the State commisoner for Insurance. Now, when I go shopping for new insurance, I get an increased premium quote. None of the reported claims are my fault and I do not know if I have to dispute this case with the commisioner for insurance or not and not sure how much money I have to spend towards it. Please advice what to do in this situation, thank you in advance.""

Where to find a dental insurance/plan that provides full coverage(if not 100% something close)?

I am sick and tired of being robbed over and over by those dental offices...whatever my dental plan says it saves on me they always come up with something to make me pay as I am not insured at all! I am willing to pay more for and expensive dental plan/insurance that covers me 100% or very close from that(=> 80%) I just don't want to go through the price of each service I get from the dental office because its useless! ... and please don't post me links to those websites that collects my private information just to give me quotes! Only if you tried the insurance or know somebody tried it...I am looking for life experience not google search results! thank you very much :)

Can someone explain the difference between Health Insurance and any other Insurance?

I don't understand why people act like health insurance is so radically differently than other insurance. Is it? Insurance is a form of risk management to hedge against loss. Auto, Life, Homeowners, Unemployment and Health are among the types of insurance you can buy. I'm generally not required to buy any of those insurances. If I have the title to my home, I'm not required to have homeowners insurance. If I don't drive a car, I'm not required to carry auto insurance. Why should I be forced to buy health insurance? If I want to take that or any gamble by not buying insurance, isn't that my choice? I will admit that by not purchasing health insurance, I could be putting a burden on others if I was admitted to the ER and couldn't pay, that burden of payment would fall on others. HOWEVER, that burden would be there whether I was forced to carry insurance or not. If I don't make enough money to buy this mandatory insurance, then the gov't will give me tax credits to purchase insurance. Who's paying for those tax credits? All of the tax payers. So either we pay the providers/insurance companies via higher premiums to cover loss, or we pay the gov't via taxes. Forcing (perhaps unconstitutionally) citizens to purchase health insurance won't solve anything, it will just move where the cost is incurred. But please, explain why people are treating health insurance so differently.""

What would be the average cost for these with a Hyundai i20?

what would be the average cost for these with a Hyundai i20 budgeting for running costs -car repayments -ongoing insurance and registration payments -car maintenance -tyres -petrol

What are average prices for small business insurance?

This is for my high school project. Please answer!

Car insurance question?

how much will it cost for a 21 year old single female per month? i just recently got my drivers liscense and i have never had a car or insurance..i have no credit and have never had a ...show more

Whats the best auto insuarance?

Price really isn't an issue, but whats the best insurance out there, as far as coverage... I drive a new car, and i wanna make sure Im well covered......Any ideas? I live out here in California, if that helps.""

What companies has cheap car insurance for college students?

Im a college student and wants to get off my my parents car insurance its currently 97.00 a month she said thats the cheapest it would be because I would have to pay 500 or 800 in advance or something like that. But i want to be independent and just pay it myself under my own plan ...any suggested car insurance companies?

Co-signing insurance for car?

Can a person who doesn't have a car Co-sign for my car insurance (Like My Mom)?

Got a fine for no car insurance.?

I got a fine for no car insurance in nj, but I do have insurance i just left it at home what will possibly happen to me? do you know how much is gonna cost me""

What is the best and cheapest car insurance for a 17yr old in London?

I'm not 17 yet, but I am next year. I was wondering, what are the best sites or companies for cheap insurance for cars?""

What is a good Car insurance company comparison site?

What is a good Car insurance company comparison site?

Can you rent a car without car insurance?

No longer own a car so no car insurance, but need to rent one for a few days- can I rent or do I have to have an insured driver do it or can I buy the rental companys car insurance?""

Auto insurance?

what is the best auto insurance out there and why

What is the cheapest health insurance company?

I am a single mom and I'd be paying for myself and my son. I don't want to go through my health insurance at work because I don't want to work there for a long amount of time. So I need long term health insurance for the both of us, but I don't want to have to pay over $250 a month. Any suggestions?""

Who do you have for car insurance? open!?

looking for a cheap car insurance, buut not to cheap were if i get into a car crash they'd give me 10 cents. any suggestions?""

Car insurance help?

A while back my nephew ran into a car that was stopped on a bridge. Both vehicles had liability insurance. They determine that it was my nephew's fault. His insurance paid and now the insurance are trying to get money back. Why?

Reg Car Insurance and Road Tax?

Hi, My car insurance ran out. My road tax ran out last month. I applied for SORN and have one for my car. Now the problem is i want to tax my car. I dont want to take an insurance for a whole year. Is there a chance where i can get a pay as you go insurance for just a month and get it taxed for 6 months. Will they give me a tax disc from the post office if i have only a 30 day car insurance cover. Let me know""

What would be the best/cheapest place to get moped insurance through?

I live in Edmonton, Alberta and I just bought a little 50cc Honda Jazz to use to commute to work with. I can't seem to find online quotes so I was wondering if anyone had any ideas on a good place to go to for reasonably priced insurance for the moped. Also, would I have to pay for a whole year up front or could I pay month-to-month?""

Insurance on a Audi tt?

I passed my test September 2013, I am 18 and for the car I currently have my car insurance is 1,250 or so. If I got an Audi tt that was a 2000 plate would the insurance be sky high?""

How much would car insurance cost on a 2011 Audi A5 Coupe?

For a business math project we have to find out how much it would cost a month to insure a car of our choice.

I need a list of car insurance companies in the usa?

I need a list of all (or as many as possible) car insurance companies in the united states. I need the names and phone numbers and more info on them if possible. Thanks !

Car Insurance question! please help confused. SR-22?

So I just purchased a new car, its in my name only. I live with my girlfriend who has to have SR-22 insurance and she does. She will drive this car periodically. Do i need to list her as a driver of this car? It really raises my rates! If she is paying for her own SR-22 insurance, and its unnamed so it covers her in any vehicle she drives do I need to list her??? Need some experienced information please! Thanks!""

How much is an Audi A4 to Insure?

I don't want a quote, and I don't want an american insurance bracket or whatever they're called, just, if you could, name a car that would be about the same as an Audi A4 to insure. 1.8 litre, say, 2000-2002, I hear they're cheap to insure but, if anyone could confirm or deny I'd appreciate it.""

Chesterfield Massachusetts Cheap car insurance quotes zip 1012

Chesterfield Massachusetts Cheap car insurance quotes zip 1012

Can my father insure my car under his name?

I'm planing on financing a car and my father will Co sign. Can he put the car under his insurance I am only 18 years old so insurance just under my name is extremely expensive or is there a way he can be a Co owner of the vehicle if so how ?

Car insurance problems?!?

So I've had my license since I was 18 and now I'm 21, my boyfriend has always just let me use vehicles that he would give me that are registered in his name and on his insurance and I already know someone is going to point out its a bad idea I don't have my own vehicle, we have been together 5 years and haven't had a problem, but recently when I was driving my truck, registered and insured by him, some senile old woman pulled out around 8 feet in front of me and stopped right in the middle of the road so her whole car was right in my lane and the back end of her car was still sort of on the road she was pulling out of, I slammed on my breaks and when I realized I wasn't stopping I turned my wheel as hard as I could so I didn't hit her and I ended up just catching the end of her car and totalled mine by hitting the stop sign and about 4 trees on the road she was coming out of because of the fact that I was driving my boyfriend's insured vehicle and me and him live together, his insurance automatically added me to his policy which caused it to sky rocket from $190/mo. to over $400/mo. I was wondering if he should try to switch companies, or just keep me on his insurance whether he switches or not ?""

If I wreck my car while DUI does the insurance company still Fully cover it?

just a curious question. if you are drunk and total your car, nobody else or other property involved, does the insurance company still cover your car to full value? and what source do they use to determine the value of the vehicle?""

Financing a car & insurance?

I'm 21 and I'm located in NYC the insurance over here is sky rocket high. I paid 1600+ for liability insurance for a old lexus from GEICO. I am asking my uncle to help me finance a 2006 bmw 530i which is about 32k and I already check if I finance under my name how much it would be. It is 10k for insurance a year lol... So I want to know if my uncle finance the car for me and I make the payments does he have to add my name under the insurance ? I don't need my name to be the co signer. I just want to know incase I do get into an accident what will happen ? Most people use their parent's insurance so I just want to make sure and get some facts before I ask my uncle. Thanks

Cheap car insurance? 17 year old UK?

So say I'm a 17/18 year old just passed driver with a cheap car, small engine etc, female, what price, in terms of car insurance, am I looking at? Thanks for any feedback. I really just want an estimation!""

How much would average insurance be for a 20 year old student for a 2011 Camaro LS be?

Im looking just to get an estimate.

I changed my car and the insurance is so expensive?

Hello Everyone, Ive changed my car and I've bought Mazda RX8, the thing is my insurance does not insure these type of car, and they said send us the certificate and we will send you a 3 NCB. I've checked many sites such us moneysupermarket, confused.com etc. and they cheapest quote was 2200 per year. anyone knows how can i get a cheaper insurance for this car ? Thanks""

What's a low cost yet good car insurance co in California(northern)?

I have a gas hog and I am trying to lower my bills since the economy slump and I am trying to find if my car insurance is high and if I should switch and to who I pay every six months 681.00.Thanks in advance.

Can you buy Insurance to cover accidental injury only?

My kids have no health Insurance. Can i buy an Insurance which can cover them only for accidental injury caused by fall or skate boarding?

How to transfer car loan to my name?

My boyfriend has gotten a dui recently and his insurance went up like crazy tripling how much he use to pay. To avoid paying for the high insurance rate for the next 4 or so years, he suggested that he transfer his Wachovia car loan to me. How do I go about to doing that? Do I contact Wachovia first? Do I then have to get a car loan from the bank for the remaining amount of his car? By the way, my credit score is excellent. Thanks your answers.""

Is there a time limit or statute of limitations on car insurance claims?

I was in an accident in January. It was my fault, I was trying to avoid someone who had swerved into my lane so I got into the left lane really fast to avoid being hit at a high speed ...show more""

Can the insurance do this? Car insurance.?

I was in a wreck a few weeks ago. The lady who rear ended me has the same insurance as I do. I filed a claim and a fellow church member owns a body shop. I asked him to do the work, he agreed. But, the insurance claims that they will not give him a check until he can order the parts in advance. That is way too expensive and can they really expect him to order these up front? It makes me VERY angry that they could be so stupid and negligent to make him order them up front. He said that he does not have that money to be ordering my parts up front. Can I turn them in for this? They really are messing up.""

Affordable Life Insurance at 80?

Please help me find an affordable life insurance at 80 years of age to life. Thank you, Lily""

Hey much will auto insurance cost me?

hey i will be 16 yrs old soon enough but i need an auto insurance i live in orlando, does anyone know how much it will cost me?whats the cheapest?""

How much will my car insurance be?

I just got my 7th DUI conviction and I want to buy a Chevrolet Corvette, but dont know how much insurance will cost my parents? I don't want them to have to pay too much but i really want the car. please help""

What would insurance costs be for a 16 year old with a crossover?

I want a new 2011 equinox, and I just turned 16. About what would my rates be if I were added to my parents insurance? I don't want a quote from a website like progressive because I have to give out my parents info and I don't feel comfortable doing that. Can anyone give me just a guess at what they think my rates would be per month?""

Are you looking for affordable health insurance?

Are you looking for affordable health insurance?

Is it worth taking a risk of driving without Insurance..?

I'm looking for insurance but it's too expensive.. so i don't drive much. but sometimes i want to make quick local runs like going to the supermarket, picking up a friend etc. is it worth taking this risk without an insurance ??""

Are there deals in car insurance if someone parents are divorced?

and he/she technically only lives with one parent?

What is the best student health insurance plan in Florida?

What is the best student health insurance plan in Florida?

Best life insurance for baby? Cost?

Trying to figure out the best life insurance plan or place to use for new baby to come. How much does it cost upfront? Do you pay it overtime?

Should i gain my CBT license to lower insurance on a 125cc scooter?

I currently have a full driving license and interested in buying a scooter. To lower insurance even further should I gain my CBT license or any other awareness courses?

What is the cheapest car insurance company?

Ok, so I just want to know, as far as getting insurance for your Car goes....do you guys know like what Car Insurance COMPANY has the cheapest insurance you can buy for your car? Thanks, it would help out alot.""

""Adding a driver to car insurance, average cost?""

if you add another driver to your insurance like your brother, or sister or son, who is a new driver, and your insurance costs $350 for six months already. how much do you think would be additional cost to this insurance as a result of this change? if you can share ur experience it would be nice. i know it all depends on the history of the new driver, but say the new driver did not have any accidents or anything. i need to get a general impression... Thanks in advance.""

I have a question about health insurance?

if a contact is lost will health insurance get you another pair

Chesterfield Massachusetts Cheap car insurance quotes zip 1012

Chesterfield Massachusetts Cheap car insurance quotes zip 1012

How much would a 16 year old boy pay for car insurance?

I am not 16 yet, but I want to get a Chevy Camaro. I live in PA, and am wondering how much car insurance would cost me a year with out wrecks, tickets, etc. I went to chevy.com and built my own Camaro, and it cost me about $25,000 with the specs, and colors I want.""

Do you pay insurance on a lease car in the UK?

im 18 and looking to get my first car would a lease car be a cheaper option for me as i have been told in unsureness that its all included in the price but would i still have to pay separate insurance on the car? if so what would be the cheapest option? a lease car or buying a cheap car? thanks

Wife was rear ended and i have no insurance we live in illinois and car insurance is required?

My wife was on her way home from work and was stoped at a stoplight when a car hit her from behind and we have no insurance but witness reports say the other lady is at fault will my truck be fixed by her insurance

What are the cheapest cars to insure as im 19 and just passed my test (male)?

Also what are the best insurance comparison sites for someone of my age, as most quotes are ridiculous!""

Does one single speeding ticket raise auto insurance rates?

hey guys so probably 2 months ago I got my first speeding ticket whilst on the way to the movie theaters at college because my stupid friends wanted to make the 9:30 showing of Evil Dead. Needless to say it was still my fault getting pulled over in the end. The cop did however tell me that there would be no points on my record since it was my first ever offense and basically it was just a $92.00 fine that I paid the next day. I am a very cautious driver and have not had any trouble with the law regarding my driving except for that one mishap. Does getting this one single ticket raise my insurance rates? We are looking to switch insurances so will our rates be higher because of this stupid mistake of mine?

Car accident/insurance question!?

Is there some sort of law that claims if your car is in an accident the dealership will pay for the rest of the remaining balance on your car? That way the insurance company gives you the money to buy a new one. My friend was telling me something about this but I don't really remember what it was called, or even if that was what she was trying to explain. Thank you!""

Cancelling car insurance?

if i decided to cancel my car insurance and go elsewhere would i have to pay a cancellation fee? if so how much is this likely to be? im with m&s (underwritten by bisl). also will my previous ncd be void because i wont have completed this current year due to cancelling early?

How much is insurance for a teenager?

hey i wanna buy a car, and im about to get my license. i just wanna know what the average price is for my age. im turning 17, and i want a 2002 firehawk trans am..yes i know i shouldnt get it, i should get a honda civic lol. but ive saved up and i want it. i just want to know the average price. my mother has geico and im a guy. if you could give me a estimate for every month or every couple of months it will cost for a trans am also how much cheaper it will be if i got the cheaper car. much thanks!! i also live in new jersey if that helps.""

Where can I find cheap 3rd party property car insurance for my 17year old son?

Where can I find cheap 3rd party property car insurance for my 17year old son?

What laws in California can a doctor use against me for spending insurance check?

What laws exist in California that a doctor can use against me if I spent the money the insurance sent me for medical services he performed?

Would I still need to keep the insurance up on my truck if my license was suspended for DUI?

I was wondering if I still need to keep my insurance during the suspension period or do I cancel it and then wait till the end of my suspension period. I got my DUI on May 6th. I guess for now I'm sticking to riding a bicycle anytime I want to go somewhere which it takes longer but at least it gets the most gas mileage of any vehicle which is infinity miles per gallon.

Car insurance for 17 year old guy?

i just got my license and im thinkin buyin 2010 Mustang. How much would insurance cost and what insuranse company is cheapest?

Will my insurance go up due to points on my license?

I am a 22 year old male. Was cited for going 25.5 miles over the speed limit on a freeway. Plead guilty. And 4 points were assessed on my license. This is the first time any points have been on my license. My question is will my insurance go up do to this and if so how much could I expect? Thanks Also, if anyone knows of anything I can do to keep my insurance from going up, please let me know.""

Car insurance question.?

My boyfriend and I are in the process of buying a car, it is going to be in his name only. We obviously have to get insurance on the car and he doesn't have a car at the moment so only has a non-owners policy. We have to show proof of full coverage. When we go get the insurance are we supposed to tell them it needs to be on the car we are buying? What info about the car do we need? Also he has a not so good driving record, can he list me as the primary driver if my name is not on the car? And if so, will that make insurance a little cheaper?""

Okay-ish car with cheap insurance? (uk)?

Im 17, just passed my test, what car would you recomend I get that would be cheap to insure?""

Motorcycle insurance?

I'm young (21) looking for motorcycle insurance in MA and I was wondering some of the better options. Btw I'm looking for full coverage quotes. I have had a regular drivers license for about 4 years and I live in a rural area, not a lot of theft. I know it takes much more personal information than that but again I'm just looking for estimates. Just looking for good (preferably local) insurance companies and estimated quotes.""

Switching car insurance...?

my car insurance policy expires in March and I have full coverage. I had full coverage because I was financing my car. I recently paid it off and would like to switch to a lesser coverage. Can i do this before my policy expires in march or do i have to wait??

Will my insurance go up if my son gets his license?

Will my insurance go up if my 16 year old son gets his license? He wants to get his license this week but he's not going to start driving alone until June. Will my insurance go up right when he gets his license or only when he starts driving alone in June?

Car insurance question ONTARIO?

I am 18, live in Toronto, Ontario and dreaming of having a car, but I can't afford to pay $400 a month or more, so, could I get my dad to buy the car with my money, register it as if it his, get cheap insurance for it as if it was his, and then just drive it all the time having the proper car documents on me. How much of a legal issue would that be if a cop pulled me over and I showed him that the car is family owned and insured and I just happen to be driving it today. My family already has a truck and a Toyota, I don't know if that is relevant or not, but Im just throwing it out there. And just to make sure, what would happen if (god forbid) I was to get in an accident and wasn't at fault? how about if it was my fault(talk about sticky situations).""

Which parent must pay for my car insurance?

My parents are divorced, and live in different states. I live in Florida with my mom, and my dad lives in Virginia, unfortunately. Anyhow, I get my license Feb 4th, and I'm also getting a car, and my mom is forcing my dad to pay for my insurance on top of my child support and various other fees she hits him with. My question is, can I be on my dad's insurance policy even though he lives in another state, or do I have to be insured under my primary possessive guardian(my mom) whom which I live with. Because if not, she is demanding that my dad pay for my insurance, full, a year beforehand, which at my age is close to $2,000. Thanks :)""

How much would insurance cost for a silverado?

new one 2010 im 18

""I m under 18 and my parents are divorced, so how do i do my car insurance?""

My parents are divorced, and eac have different car insurance plans. if i go under one of their car insurance plans to use their car, can i still use the other parents car all the time of do i have to get separate insurance?""

How much will my car insurance go up?

I have a honda accord lx (2003). I hit a metal pole and there was considerable damage to my car. The damage is mostly to the right front side and the tire. I have informed my insruance company so they can review the damages and come up with a dollar amount. I can decide if I want to pursue the claim through my insurance company or accept the charges my self. If it is going to cost alot to fix the car, I may need to use my insurance to pay for the damages. How much will my insrance go up? I have heard that my rates could be impacted for the next 3 years. Will the rates decrease after 3 yrs?""

""As an owner-operator, working for the big taxi company, what kind of insurance do I need on the cab?""

I'm in California. I'm working as a cabbie for that big taxi company with the brightly colored cabs. You know, the one everybody thinks of first. I just bought my own taxi car and it's being converted into a taxi which I will drive for the company. The boss has given me an insurance card, and he says this is the only insurance I need. But I'm worried about it, because the taxi car will also be used a little as my private vehicle, you know, like to drop off my kid at school, or pick up groceries, etc. If anyone knowledgeable can shed some light on this for me, I'd appreciate it. Thank you.""

Why is classic car insurance more?

For a teen I mean. I know these types of cars need special insurance companies but these special companies don't take 18 year old drivers. I'm currently parting out a 76 camaro with a tired 250 v6 so it's not fast in any ways. Though it is still called a sports coupe . so I was curious and got a quote and they quoted me $550 a month. strange thing is my friend drives an 04 rsx that's standard (the camaro is auto) and pays the same rate monthly under his parents. What are the factors that determine these rates? safety? engine size? the amount of damage they do? I had a 03 civic coupe (standard) briefly and was paying $260 a month under my parents insurance. According to the insurance company, all these cars are considered sports cars and therefore have higher rates however they would not tell me the reasons why and that is what I am here to ask.""

Chesterfield Massachusetts Cheap car insurance quotes zip 1012

Chesterfield Massachusetts Cheap car insurance quotes zip 1012

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/louisiana-insurance-tax-credit-daniel-grant/"

[in-paradox-space]

so my boyfriend just dumped me.

I wrote a massive stream of thoughts down below.

im not going to spell/grammar check it and i only write these things to look back on in the future. 

if you read it, it will be hard to follow

i write them in a way i know i will understand, because theyre intended for me. 

so a lot of context isn’t written down, because I expect myself to already put that context into the right place.

ultimately these are a collection of thoughts many many many other people think, and youre not reading anything new anyway.

In the long term this is a good thing but I’m still in shock.

One of the last things he said was ‘I think you’re mistaking being woke for being retarded’.

I had to look at it and think objectively. What if I am retarded?

Am I just retarded? I asked deep within and it’s like my body was rejecting any possibility of it being true with denile.

I know now the truth is I’m just not on the same plain as these people. It’s foolish for me to try to connect with them on that level with those questions. Whether I am or I’m not retarded, I’m in a completely different world from them and it’s just not comparable. 

Still, I had to ask. Am I retarded? Whenever I looked deep enough to find an answer, a part of me just threw back denial at any possibility of it being true.

I never claimed to be woke or all-knowing but I didn’t say that because that starts a typical pattern of discussion.

I do care what he and many people think and it’s just damaging to pretend I don’t, but if I gave in to that and tried to correct him it would just build on how much I care. Trying to acknowledge it and let it pass.

I don’t blame him at all. This sounds like self-pity but I don’t feel sorry for myself. I’m still shook but I think I’ll be alright once I’m done processing it and acknowledging it all.

Again, I don’t blame him. I’m surprised it hasn’t come to this already

I guess this is the time something good came from being a dick.

I’m wondering if I get to say this is the meds. I get hella mood swings from my medication. Like super fast switches

I’m honestly a different person, entirely different personality, on this medication. My mood literally switches every couple of minutes, sometimes quicker. I would switch between mania and extreme irritability less than a minute apart from each other after starting the medicine.

I do believe that made me act like a dick to him and many people I know.

Am I allowed to say it’s not entirely my fault because of that though. Many others, including the old me would say I can’t. I’m still to blame. Any loss of control over self is just the result of me not manifesting the willpower to make a change within myself. 

I do try to make this clear to anyone reading

but these are thoughts from deep down within

where things aren’t expressed with words, but just the understand of myself I only truly share with myself.

If you think you understand what I’m saying, you most likely don’t. Even if you think I’m wrong on that.

It’s the bane of my existence. Truly.

The feeling of not being understood while others say they understand. 

If I say nobody understands me, or you don’t understand I become a cliche

and also people can respond with ‘I know I don’t understand, thats why im asking’.

when i try to help people understand my world, it leads to them understand less and less and less

while asking more and more and more

and I’ve seen it happen a thousand times... to me. 

I know the pattern, exactly how it starts. When I notice that, I try to explain to them that I know how it starts. They’re just not going to understand the answers to the questions they ask, it’s an endless cycle. 

They believe they’re different for some reason though, that they will be able to understand. Or that’s what it is on the surface. Really, I know they aren’t real and that they’re being controlled in a way to just enact conversations in a precise enough way to get to me. 

I’m speaking in material world  terms though.

They sometimes get offended when I insist they don’t understand.

when we eventually end up screaming at each other, because I gave into their persistence

and it plays out exactly how I knew it would

they say I don’t understand

then I point it out, they won’t understand. I’ve had this conversation many times before and you just won’t. 

but they still persist and it just goes on 

I forgotten how I started talking about all of this.

but yeah my boyfriend dumped me.

this is what I actually wanted but right now I’m still shocked. which is what happens.

I was a dick to him, and many other people. I’m surprised he stayed around  that long. since february. half a year.

I’ve gotten fat since then. I’ve become very ugly. I’ve been very mean, very ignorant and just yeah not a nice partner. 

also we never kissed lmao

never felt i could authentically go into kiss him

he did try once when we was at the door, but i turned my head and pretended to be looking at something. I pretended i didnt know.

honestly I prefer girls.  i wont go into why, its just really my personal whatever you want to call it.

It’s how I feel. I don’t like females. almost none of them. It is sexism. that is the definition of what I feel. i wont try to convince anyone to think the same, or act in any way other than avoidance. 

but after lots of observation i came to a conclusion. its a long winded one, and again, its something about me that I just know. I don’t have the feelings in words.

but yeah, I just dislike females. Almost all of them. 

the ones I don’t like i must objectively admit, I hold them on a pedestal because im sort of crushing on them. they’re no different, despite that fact though. 

i also struggle to talk to them. i also had a bad history with my mother and sisters.

you can blame it to that and i accept the possibility of it being down to that too. im not saying men are better (unless thats literally what im saying. its just sort of a stream of consciousness) 

anyway yeah

im attracted to girls more but i dislike females

so i dont persue them

and if i ever do, im too fucking shy 

like i cant make eye contact with them. im so chill around guys like my heart doesnt even race. im so authentic

but i just freeze and i dont know what to say

so yeah, i went for a boyfriend instead

yeah maybe sometimes im into that, but deep down its not a lot 

maybe just as one night stands. as relationships it doesnt work.

and i guess thats part of why it fucked. I wasnt inclined to put the effort in after the initial manic phase of me falling for him

 i like not using my phone. i ignore or dont even check messenger for days

i usually reply to my one main friend only, then ignore the rest. even that is around once every 4 hours at most. 

and in person i treated him as more as one of my friends, not even a main main one. just a casual.

I also snapped and got moody about various things everytime i was around him.

it just builds up, and tonight i was being very moody. trying to make sure things go my way, because i didnt want a personal project to go differently to how i planned. 

it meant alot but deep down. I wanted control

i felt like control was being taken from me, and that was one of my only forms of control. This is where I believe my ego is destroying my life(in one way), although idk how my ego comes into that.

i didnt want to admit that, even to myself

even though a part of me was acknowledging it at the time, while fearing i might continue to desire control

leading to psychotic breaks and a downward spiral in the years to come.

him and my main friend were taking the project into their own hands. scrapping my ideas for it, and replacing it with their ideas

they both agreed they was better ideas. im in denial but im making my self type, yes, they were better ideas than mine. 

i didnt want to admit that. i didnt like that fact. it was threatening, and if a concept like that can be threatening, i presume my ego is involved.

on another note, im going to meet an internet friend, the end of this month, were gonna do shrooms and acid.

sure ego death likely isnt that simple but its worth a mention.

also ego is releated to sense of self and distinction between things in the universe. im not looking for ego death, per se (maybe i am and im just unaware), i just want  to not care what people think and what way people might percieve me

so yeah. i was being moody and making sure my ideas were in there. while they insulted my plans together.

its not painful, but  i physically felt a sigh of sadness in my chest.

ive felt much worse though. especially last time my bf dumped me. the first time he did. we didnt speak for a week. he came back. i went through so much pain in that time, that when he called me back and got back with me. i just didnt care. i met him like once a month after that and ignored him. surprisingly he took his time (months after that) to dump me too.

I know there’s a lot of great features about me, but theyre far from the surface

so i dont know why people stay with me for that long. there are no reasons for them to stay with me, that they can see without being me.

there really really are plenty more fish in the sea. fish much better for them.

so again. its a relief this happened. As long as he doesnt come back and develop on this.

as long as it ends clean like this. its all good.

I need time to process shock right now. 

Also to truly acknowledge how I feel and just feel. 

then he’s gone. 

i dont have to worry about him. im also glad i got to use him for a project in time

needed him for something else but oh well. its not something he wanted to do though 

and i wasnt being very grateful, just more demanding of him doing it. 

we also had plans. me him and my main friend. but i didnt want him there because i just feel like its extra baggage. 

so i dont have to worry about that

he got me a birthday present for my soon coming birthday. 

idk what he plans to do with that but if its edible he can just eat it. if not, he has friends, they can have it. 

this made me think though.

its understandable why he did this. he chose to leave because ultimately i was creating an unpleasant experience for us both while not actively trying to make a pleasant one.

the reason my friend hasnt left though, is simply because he’s loyal enough to stay that long. we have a stronger bond and feeling of understanding with each other. weve known each other very long and done a lot together

but how long until it becomes too unpleasant for him. 

im aware i need to be kinder to him. i honestly dont feel i have the power to be nice when im in that state though

nobody on the outside can see that

its simply me being a dick

and whether meds are to blame or not, how long would he choose to be around that

he has plenty more options

and hes similar to me, he can just move on

i need to be more open to what he says

i need to let go of my desire for control 

i dont need him,

but i want him in my life 

to have him leave my life would be a huge change. hes the only reason i really stay in this country other than my doctors being here. 

i want to explore usa, just party and do lots of shit

but i have a perceivable future with him 

if he leaves i need to figure out a way to keep my health up, while in the US

change is an important part of my life. Change and adaptation. 

thats not what is holding me back from him leaving

but I do want the future, that involves me and him going far.

Whether he takes me along or not he is going far

and i dont want to just be a leech, I want to be there with him 

I also dont have anyone physically

that im as okay with as him

i dont want my mood swings to destroy friendship

im aware of it while its happening but i cant snap out of that.

its so strong. my exterior convinces my interior that i am right, therefore, i disagree wholly with him

when he’s almost always right

and its a shitty situation

i feel so strongly about it then, that this time i am definitely right. even though all the other times like this I was wrong

then later on, i reflect and realize he was right again while i had some hints of truth+logic but was wrong

how long is he going to put up with it? 

is it long enough for the meds to be tapered down enough for the mood swings to disappear.

if so, will our friendship be as strong and undamaged as it is now, on the way out.

it would be foolish to tell him tonight because its 4:30

its the emotional irrational time of night. 

but tomorrow i... i dont emotionally want to

but tomorrow i must tell him that im different on these meds

and i dont want to snap at him

im aware i do and that hes right

and most of all, i understand why my boyfriend left, and the reason my friend hasnt done so yet is because hes more loyal and connected to me

and that i dont want him, my friend, to leave. He has many valid reasons to, and im not the greatest friend

but i dont want him to leave. the others can leave. i dont give a shit and i havent for a very long time

but if any person is important to me, its him and my good health consultant.

not even family

just him 

family have been a hindrance more than a help

he’s the one truth

i dont know what that means

but i tried to type what he is quicker than  i could think as to be as honest as i could with myself.

hes the worthy one in this unreal universe. the one who can succeed. who deserves it. 

the one i want to succeed.

if i dont succeed, i want him to. whether i do or dont

if i die and lose everything

i want all my potential to go into him so he can use it for good.

i dont want to cause him to leave, and i must ask for his understanding and patience until im off the medicine

my personality and how i even feel placed in this world is so different

i was extremely dissociative off the medicine

and i know, off the medicine i will think/realize that the medicine is just used as a means to host me

make me the same as everyone else and stop me from thinking freely. its thought control

and thats the truth but ill be much more aware of it off the meds

like i literally just 

wow

extremely dissociated is all i can hope to say

you wouldnt get it unless you felt the level yourself

but on them

im like a moody, menstrual 15 year old girl

[gotincest-blog]

im gonna answer those questions because im bored (:

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

fairly good I would say. 

02: Who did you last say “I love you” to?

my mom

03: Do you regret anything?

yes, i regret some things I did in my childhood that hurt others

04: Are you insecure?

Yes I am but pretending to be confident really helps 

05: What is your relationship status?

single

06: How do you want to die?

im honestly so scared of dying so I don’t like to think about it

07: What did you last eat?

taco bell

08: Played any sports?

yes. soccer, basketball, softball in elementary school (:

09: Do you bite your nails?

no I pick at them and also pick at my skin and hair more than anything

10: When was your last physical fight?

I don’t think I’ve ever gotten into a physical altercation

11: Do you like someone?

i dont think so right now 

12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours?

yes and longer

13: Do you hate anyone at the moment?

no I don’t. I don’t think I’m capable of harboring that feeling

14: Do you miss someone?

yes I miss my bff

15: Have any pets?

Yes! 2 dogs. one is 10 years old the other is 8 months old

16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment?

tired. conflicted, out of control

17: Ever made out in the bathroom?

yes and in the shower

18: Are you scared of spiders?

horrified of spiders (:

19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?

No. things happened because they were meant to and I wouldn’t change my experiences because they give me insight and have helped me grow..but if i could choose moments to re live that would be cool 

20: Where was the last place you snogged someone?

uhh friends house

21: What are your plans for this weekend?

i dont have plans as of right now but i’ll probably hang out with my friends and my family maybe

22: Do you want to have kids? How many?

ive wanted to have kids before but with the state of the world where it currently is, not so much anymore. im obsessed with being pregnant though

23: Do you have piercings? How many?

yes, 7. nostril, septum, two holes in each ear lobe and a cartilage piercing 

24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)?

english was my best subject in school but i dropped out so yknow...i feel like id also be good with psychology or animal science but the world may never know

25: Do you miss anyone from your past?

probably but i dont obsess over it like i used to

26: What are you craving right now?

sleep....cuddles...kisses

27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

yes

28: Have you ever been cheated on?

yes and ive also cheated ):

29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?

yes.

30: What’s irritating you right now?

my body and how messy my room is..also the fact im not taking my meds

31: Does somebody love you?

yes! i am very loved

32: What is your favourite color?

greeeeen, but i like wearing black a lot

33: Do you have trust issues?

uhh. no i usually trust people pretty easily even though ive been fucked over so much, but i dont see the point in not giving people chances and forming relationships with trust

34: Who/what was your last dream about?

my last dream involved me having really nice long black hair and also getting a job and going back to high school :O

35: Who was the last person you cried in front of?

angel

36: Do you give out second chances too easily?

idk....probably

37: Is it easier to forgive or forget?

neither! honestly for me though i think that forgetting doesn’t help. it’s important to remember your experiences so that you can learn and grow and then have the potential to forgive. i think being able to forgive can be really healthy 

38: Is this year the best year of your life?

i dont think i ....have ever had a best year of my life. this year isn’t awful though, im spending time with friends, my family is healthy, ive had employment and sex so thats +++

39: How old were you when you had your first kiss?

i started having sex with people when i was 5 so like, theres no real reference point for that, but my first important relationship that involved kissing and sex happened when i was 12...w someone a lot older ):

40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked?

YES! I WAS PSYCHOTIC DiSSOCIATING IT WAS Fun

51: Favourite food?

mac n cheese hands down, i do like mexican food though

52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason?

yes. i really do.

53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?

i watched surgery videos...huh

54: Is cheating ever okay?

this could be taken a few different ways. cheating on a test? sure thats fine. stealing is cheating imo and i dont like stealing/shoplifting even though i’ve stolen before. i dont think its okay, but honestly if youre in poverty and you need food or diapers or clothes for your children/you/your dog or something then i understand. cheating on someone in a relationship? i understand why it happens but no i dont think its okay. if you are interested in other people or you even think you cant trust yourself in that area, address it with your partner first or take a break or break up if youre unhappy enough to do that. but i definitely do understand why it happens, especially considering ive done it before and have had it done to me.

55: Are you mean?

i would say i can be..in the sense that im too honest sometimes and things i say are sometimes difficult to hear but i try to be considerate and fair and i would say over all im pleasant to be around..more so when im medicated though

56: How many people have you fist fought?

i dont think any tbh

57: Do you believe in true love?

i dont know what this means but i do believe that love exists..its just not as selfless as people claim. every body is selfish in pretty much every aspect of life, but selfishness and love for someone arent mutually exclusive.

58: Favourite weather?

probably like 65 degrees, sunny, light breeze, clear sky, late morning/mid afternoon OR 70 degrees nights where its super dark but the air is still and you can be outside in shorts and a t shirt and not be cold and maybe rain..i like rain

59: Do you like the snow?

when it isn’t snowing in may lol. i used to live in constant snow and play in it a lot as a kid so those are some good memories...it can be annoying now but i think its very pretty.

60: Do you wanna get married?

the idea kind of scares me but if i trust and love someone enough to commit like that, yes 61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?

that word is honestly ruined for me lmao

62: What makes you happy?

animals, people being kind to one another, having money, SPENDING MONEY, food, inside jokes, hugs, kissing, clean socks, showering, relationships working out for other people (IT GIVES ME HOPE AND PEACE OF MIND), gifts, music, swimming, having a clean room, petting my dogs, when i look cute in an outfit, when my hair dries nice, cuddling, getting key tags for na, roadtrips, camping, things that are green, joking around with my family

63: Would you change your name?

no. i like my name. but i have friends who still call me kyle and i really prefer that at least with them..its just more comfortable

64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?

no...itd be fine

65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

uh...i dont like ruining friendships with relationships...this has never happened to me so i honestly dont know

66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?

yes! (:

67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?

my brother 

68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

sam & angel

69: Do you believe in soulmates?

yes.

70: Is there anyone you would die for?

my mom