#other side - minjun
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sweet or spicy
as much as cherry was excited to once again have her own apartment (though it lacked very badly in furniture), it could get boring to live alone. yes she had visitors, but majority of the time when she was in her apartment she was alone. that had changed recently, as she’s bought a hamster, and though she spends a lot of time with that hamster, she can still find herself bored in her apartment. so she tries to find new hobbies, but she sucks at everything, so that isn’t too fun.
she’s not a good baker nor chef, she usually lives off of take out and whatever she can find in seven-eleven, but lately she’s tried her best to gain the skills of being able to cook and bake. and she’s done something successfully.
her bored brain thinks a lot, and it comes up with a idea, though it’s not april fools, she’ll be attempting to prank a friend. she carefully thinks about it, who and how. she does what she needs to do, and the next day she shows up with a box with two cupcakes in, searching for her target.
“minjun! just the person i was looking for” she smiles at the other, “i made you a cupcake!” she holds up the box, the smile remaining on her lips as she opens it. “it’s with strawberry” or, one is with strawberry, the other is with chili, haha, wait… which is which? cherry looks down into the box for a few seconds before deciding, handing one to minjun and taking a bite of the other. she chose wrong. she drops the cupcake “ah! why did i make it so spicy?!”.
written for... @lgcmjun
#it's been put in...➔ queue#shine bright on ! thread#cherrylgc#lgcmjun#this side - sweet or spicy#other side - minjun#( thank you lots for liking my plot call ! just tell if i shld change anything ! )
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⠀ ⠀★ @j0ysticks sacrificed an offering : ❛ i won’t let anyone hurt you. ❜ // we love making impossible promises <3
⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀she's tucked underneath of his arm when minjun tries his best to support his own weight, not wanting to burden jude with being his crutch — he's so tired, wishing for nothing more than the supposed safety of the campfire. the exit gate is just within their reach, TAUNTING them, and the huntresses' lullaby draws nearer and nearer the closer they get. ❝ you shouldn't have come back for me. ❞ the scolding is gentle despite the blood pouring from his lips, the taste of iron sitting heavy on his tongue. ❝ i don't want to see you hurt either, jude. ❞
⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀wide eyes look down at her as they move together, minjun allowing himself to sag against her a little more, to let jude shoulder him — and she's already looking back at him, an indescribable ache in his chest at the gaze they're sharing. ❝ i wish i had met you under different circumstances. i see a lot of myself in you, and . . . i think we could've been friends, somehow. ❞
⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀❝ we both know that's not going to happen, but the fact that you even want to try . . . it means more than you'll ever understand. ❞ is this what it feels like to be so selflessly cared for ? to let somebody else take the reigns for once ? jude could've left him, claimed her own escape and left minjun to die on the hook — but she hadn't, like it wasn't even a passing thought to leave minjun behind.
⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀he feels overwhelmed ; with what, he isn't entirely sure. he houses a plethora of inner turmoil.
⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀❝ i promise to get you out of here. fuck, i promise, if it's the last thing i ever get to do. ❞ minjun would split open the earth if it meant jude could crawl out of the fog, to go back to where she belongs. ❝ you're very bright, jude. it kills me that you got caught up in all of this. ❞
#* / 𝐓𝐈𝐓𝐋𝐄 𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐊 𝟎𝟎𝟏 : 𝖽𝖾𝖺𝗋 𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓 — answered#FEAT → j0ysticks#WE LOVE MAKING IMPOSSIBLE PROMISES.....#minjun doesn't care that HE'S here. he cares that SHE'S here when there was still so much left for her to do on the other side#i hope!! this is okay also !!! screams into a pillow
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❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ CONSUME (richgirl!yn | chaewon x reader )
❀ ͘ ⴰ previous chapters | richgirl ⭢ that girl (she’s delicious) ⭢ idon’t smoke ⭢ pretty when you cry ⭢ homesick ⭢ super rich kids ⭢ girl, so confusing
— BONUNS CHAPTER | the dark sides of the moon family
JUNE 21st 1994
“On June 21st today at exactly 3:14 am Moon Minjun son of Moon Joonho was found unconscious in the road. The 18 year old has been rushed immediately to urgent care and is reported to be okay, but this has us all wondering how and why was he found in this state?”
In the heavy silence of the room, the camera lingered on minjun's face, his expression tense as he glanced between his father and mother. his father scanned the documents in front of him, offering no reaction, while his mother placed a steadying hand on his shoulder, a hint of worry in her eyes..
a reporter finally broke the silence. "Minjun, can you explain why you were found in such a state?"
minjun cleared his throat, shifting in his seat with a forced composure. "I was... out with other young professionals in similar family businesses," he began, his tone carefully measured. "and, well, I believe someone may have slipped something into my drink."
gasps rippled through the crowd as reporters exchanged looks of shock. he nodded slowly, letting the words sink in before adding, "I have my suspicions about who it could be, but I won't be disclosing that in this press conference."
he kept his face neutral, holding the lie in place with an almost practiced precision. but behind the mask, the truth remained locked away, hidden from the prying eyes of the public.
the real reason was overworking and exhaustion and maybe a little bit of over drinking, but nobody would know the conditions of the family.
the headlines were off the rails two weeks later.
KIM SUBIN UPCOMING LEADER OF K.I IS NOW IN CUSTODY FOR SPIKING MOON MINJUN’S DRINK WHICH LEAD TO HIM BEING FOUND IN THE ROAD
poor subin.
FEBRUARY 14th 2014
“On february 14th five members of the Moon family held their monthly conference. The youngest that we know as 12 year old yn was sitting in between her two older brothers while Their father was talking. From what we could see from the video Moon Yeonjin gestured for yn to get a water bottle for her brothers which the she complied to but she didn’t get far after completing collapsing after two steps. An insider reported that the cause was due to lack of food and fluids, which makes us wonder why a 12 year old girl is lacking those nutrients.”
the camera zoomed in on yn’s gaze that nervously swept across the rows of reporters and journalists in front of her as her family stood solemnly behind her. she cleared her throat, mentally rehearsing the words she had been given, each syllable feeling heavier than the last. for some in the audience, this scene was painfully familiar.
a reporter leaned forward, his voice laced with concern. "How are you feeling today, YN? Have you eaten well?"
a faint smile broke through her nerves, and she replied softly, "yes, I've been okay. I had a big breakfast." Her answer brought a ripple of fond laughter from the crowd, a brief moment of levity that softened the tension.
"can you tell us if there's a reason why you weren't able to meet your basic needs?" he continued, a hint of sympathy in his tone.
yn’s heart raced, the weight of her words pressing down on her. "I had been sick the week before," she began, keeping her voice steady. "I didn’t have an appetite and couldn’t keep anything down. I was still recovering during the conference."
the lie words left her lips smoothly, a perfectly crafted explanation. she didn’t dare look back at her family, praying her carefully delivered answer was enough to satisfy the room’s prying eyes.
and make her family proud.
DECEMBER 23rd 2018
“On December 23rd the every single person apart of the Moon family was called into an emergency press conference regarding the business but the business was the last thing on peoples minds after seeing the terrifying look of the family.
People described them as sick looking and pale. The family has never looked like this before in public which is causing a lot of worries onto why every single Moon in the room looks like this, take a look at the video.”
the cameron zoomed in on minjun who looked rather pale his eyes steady on the papers in front of him, the room had an scary silence to it.
the camera went into to zoom in on every single member of the families face, all of them draped in chanel, they all talked normally and acted normally but looked unusual, like a tim burton animation.
they looked sick.
when the camera finally landed on yn, she looked directly into the lens, her eyes hollow, her gaze unsettlingly steady. it was the killing shot of the whole video, an unspoken message from the youngest member of the family, leaving viewers to wonder what unspeakable truth lay beneath the moon family’s facade
#richgirl!yn#lesserafim x reader#lesserafim#le sserafim x reader#chaewon x reader#kim chaewon#chaewon#kim chaewon x reader#girl group imagines
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LOVE ON THE COURT | 29 NOT AGAIN
SYNOPSIS | every college student has their struggles, but raising her younger brother has Y/N top of the list, struggling her way through college whilst balancing her academics and basketball captaincy is difficult no doubt and with Jaemin, her ex best friend and captain of the guys basketball team, and his growing one sided hatred towards her, it doesn't seem to be getting any easier
WARNINGS | sexual innuendos, swearing, mentions + pretty detailed description of a panic attack, lwk abandonment issues
NOTES | the girls are fighting... you didn't think I'd let them make up this fast did you?? a much shorter chapter today I'm sorry 😓
15:27pm , after the game
Y/n knew ningning inside out, they'd been friends for their whole life, best friends for a number of years, they'd spent longer together than apart.
Y/n and ningning were practically sisters. They'd fought over stupid things like if apple juice was better than orange juice, they'd stolen each others clothes, done each others nails as post breakup therapy— they'd experienced love and loss, and they'd always experienced it together.
It was and always had been them against the world.
Personal problems had always existed, but they'd face them head on and, most importantly, together.
So y/n knew what ningning was feeling, maybe not exactly, but she certainly knew why ningning felt the way she did.
And sure, Ningning's words had hurt y/n too, but that was the thing, they'd said the best and worst things to one another.
Being so close to someone can be a double-edged sword. Knowing their triggers and insecurities so well that in the heat of the moment, it’s almost too easy to throw those daggers. The intimacy shared can turn into a weapon of knowing exactly what to say to hit them where it hurts. In those moments, it’s like being caught in a toxic cycle, where love and pain intertwine.
Regret sets in as soon as the words leave the mouth, but the damage is done, leaving both people feeling raw and vulnerable. It's a harsh reminder that knowing someone deeply can sometimes mean knowing how to wound them just as easily. So y/n knew that Ningning was showing nothing but her concern.
But equally, she understood she deserved somewhat of an apology as well, even if Ningning's words had come from a good place, they'd hurt, and perhaps they hurt even more so coming from her.
It seemed a simple explanation why this argument of theirs had rested at the forefront of her mind for so long too, because Ningning was the only person in her life who Y/n couldn't imagine losing. And after everything that she'd been through, after the people she'd lost, and the relationships she'd seen go with them, she knew she wouldn't let herself be to blame. She wouldn't let herself lose a friend, least of all Ningning, just because she didn't communicate.
Or at least that was her plan, as she made her way down the hallway of the hotel, her hair still dripping from the shower she'd just taken, gripping way too many snacks for the two of them to share. Minjun followed after her, still gushing about having seen his older sister play for the first time, begging her to teach him how to dribble the ball like her, a grin plastered across his face. It was endearing, really.
And Y/n swore she only turned to smile at him for a second, but in the next, she felt her heart drop and her blood run cold. It felt like the ground shifted beneath her feet, and suddenly, she was trapped in a whirlwind of way too many thoughts, coming way too fast.
There, stood across the hallway, was a man she had made many desperate attempts to forget. To no avail, of course.
She blinked, rubbing her fists against her eyes hurriedly, as if he was nothing but a figment of her imagination, that when she looked up again he'd disappear and this would be nothing but a bad dream. But there he was, struggling to open the door to his room, angrily staring down at the key card with furrowed brows.
He seemed older. His hairs greying and wrinkles setting in across the feafures she recognised so well, his smile lines deeper than the last time she'd seen him.
The last time she'd seen him.
Her breaths quickened at the sight of him, becoming deeper yet each inhale felt shallower than the last, and her chest tightened like a vice. This wasn't happening, it couldn't, not here, not now.
She could hear the muffled voice beside her asking why they'd stopped walking, she could feel minjun's grip tighten around her, she could see the way the man turned his head at the realisation he was no longer alone in the haway, but it all felt distant, like she was underwater. Unsure how to answer, she stood silently, gaze locked on the man, blinking rapidly, questioning if he was really, truly stood in front of her at all. As soon as he locked eyes with her, she felt the bile rush up her throat and a distant ringing in her ears, her hands beginning to shake against the smaller ones that held hers. Y/n felt like she was drowning. But she knew she couldn't. It was a luxury she couldn't afford, and the soft skin brushing against her hand was a reminder of that.
Panic surged through her, and y/n fought the urge to break down, feeling the walls closing in on her. The bright lights overhead felt too harsh, illuminating the doubts swirling in her head, making it hard to focus. Calm down. She thought, but she couldn't. She couldn't think she couldn't move, and worst of all, she couldn't calm down. She convinced herself this was nothing, voiced out lies in her mind that echoed with uncertainty. Breathe, she thought. But she couldn't. It was as if every unresolved feeling crashed over her like a tidal wave, leaving her gasping for air and desperate for an escape. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to ground herself, but the memories flooded back faster, unrelenting and unforgiving.
Y/n found herself tugging harshly against the smaller wrist that was still loosely resting in her grip, making a sharp 180 and jetting off down the hallway, with shaky steps and ragged breaths.
She had to go, she had to leave, she had to do it now. Her phone vibrated in her hands only seconds later, a painfully familiar contact flashing across the screen, and all y/n could do was throw the device into the bottom of her bag, stuffing her belongings in on top, making no effort to answer the questions coming from the confused young boy who watched her. The blood rushed to her head so quickly, too quickly, in fact, and she swore the room in front of her begun to spin.
Her dad hadn't called her in years, not a single message, not a single word, so why now was he calling? Why was he reaching out now? Just because he'd seen her? Did some sort of shitty parental guilt kick in at the sight of his now grown children? Did he feel inadequate, maybe even jealous that they were doing just fine without him? Y/n didn't know, and she didn't care, but seeing him was still enough for her to take an unwanted trip down memory lane, reliving every moment since he'd left. Her chest tightened, the lump in her throat growing to the point that she couldn't breathe no matter how hard she tried. Still, she kept going, scanning the room to make sure she hadn't left anything behind.
Minjun had never seen his sister like this, so close to breaking down, and y/n didn't plan on letting that change today, sucking in deep breaths and wiping her teary eyes as she pulled his jacket around him. It was getting cold outside now, and she wouldn't let one careless mistake from her because of something so trivial, leading to him becoming sick.
Y/n could barely function, struggling to pull the zipper loop up and through the jacket, still she kept going. Her body ran on autopilot, muscle memory taking full control as she silently pulled the bags through the door and held a hand out for minjun to follow. Too occupied in her own thoughts she rushed out of the hotel with urgency, taking long strides towards the cabs that waited outside, only realising she was moving way too fast for Minjun to keep up when his small rushed breaths filled the air. She needed to calm down, she wasn't alone and she had to act like it. Minjun was her responsibility, and she needed to take care of him.
She muttered out an apology, quick, sincere, but short and found herself falling back into the cycle of her own thoughts again. Comfort was a thought far away, but the surety of heading home, caused the racing of her heart to ease just slightly, a dull ache developing in her arm now that she'd finally set down all her bags inside the cab, a cramp settling in.
In that moment, y/n felt the overwhelming feeling of solitude press down in her, honing in from all sides, and the ache of abandonment crept into each corner of her heart. The pain was bitter and fuck, it ran deep.
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TAGLIST: @jenobubbles @justalildumpling @nanawrlds @222brainrot @sungookie @pepperedthot @dinonuguaegi @haechansbbg @90s-belladonna @bath1lda @jeongintwt @daegalfangirl @ahnneyong @jammingjaem @paper-boats-rose @iraa567 @errrrrat @kyusqult @suzayaaa @jising-jisang-jisung @soonyoonswoo @nctrawberries @wonbin-truther @sunghoonsgfreal @lotties-readings @onlyhyunjin @swee7dream @girlz4jaem @beomgyusonlywife @nanaxwi @nosungluv @tommina @sinisxtea @20sdiary @otblous @p-d1ddy @lostinneocity @soobs-things @odxrilove @buns-inhiding @busy-daydreaming02 @starfilledgaze @papichulomacy @grassbutneo @iwilleatyourgod @jeeluv @mystverse @meowtella
#nct jaemin smau#jaemin smau#nct dream smau#nct smau#jaemin fake texts#nct dream fake texts#kpop smau#love on the court 🏀
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sleepwalking ● 25 | jjk
pairing: jungkook x fem!reader
summary: due to unfortunate circumstances, you ended up managing your ex-boyfriend’s band. you thought you’ve both made peace with it, but suddenly he’s very eager to prove to you that first love never dies.
genre: rockstar!jungkook / exes to lovers
warnings: explicit language, suggestive themes, depictions of smoking and excessive drinking, fluff, a whole lot of flirting, some angst. it’s the final chapter, friends!!!! and that’s a warning in itself lol
words: 23.7k
read from the beginning ○ masterlist
chapter 25 ► can’t promise that things won’t be broken, but i swear that i will never leave, please stay forever with me
The flight to Paris the next morning began quietly, but as was often the case with Rated Riot, it quickly descended into chaos.
Despite Yoongi’s adamant claims that he was “perfectly fine,” he was too hungover to keep his eyes open for more than two seconds at a time. Hoseok, equally plagued by his own hangover, took it upon himself to guide his friend down the airplane aisle. The two of them moved slowly, holding onto seats and, occasionally, the backs of other passengers’ heads. They were, almost literally, the blind leading the blind.
When you stood up to ask where they were going five minutes after the seatbelt sign was turned off, Jungkook gently pulled you back to your seat.
“Leave them,” he said, adjusting his earbud that had almost fallen out when you stood up, pulling on the wire. “They’ll figure it out.”
A soft gasp was heard a few rows ahead when Hoseok accidentally grabbed a woman’s ponytail. Confused and disoriented, he turned to apologise to someone on the other side of the plane.
“I’m not sure they will,” you replied to Jungkook. “They’ll find the emergency exit and try to pry it open.”
“And don’t underestimate them,” he said. “They will succeed at that.”
“That’s what I’m afraid of.” You stood up again. “Give me one second.”
Jungkook grinned but did not try to stop you again.
Yoongi sighed in visible relief when you touched his shoulder. He quickly tried to explain the situation to you, making it sound like Hoseok had led him into a dark, haunted cave, instead of merely managing to guide him—in large, distracting circles—away from the bathrooms by mistake.
Back in his seat, Jungkook wondered about the rest of his friends on the plane. He didn’t know what the other members of his band had been up to after he’d returned to the hotel with you, but he could tell, just by watching Yoongi and Hoseok struggle, that everyone was fighting the after-effects of last night.
Minjun was asleep behind Jungkook, looking rather faded. Jude, meanwhile, had remained in London, where he was waiting for his flight home as he had originally planned.
Jungkook then looked over at Taehyung and Luna, who were seated just behind Minjun. They were pretending very diligently to be engrossed in the film playing on their screens—Jungkook had heard Taehyung cursing earlier as he tried to sync the film for them both—but they were dozing off, too.
Even though not everyone was aware of Sid’s arrest yesterday, it was evident that they all had still unknowingly celebrated the occasion.
“Alright,” you whispered as you returned to your seat after depositing Yoongi and Hoseok in the care of the flight attendants. “If you hear any screams, let me know so I can go back and check if they’re still alive.”
Jungkook gave you an amused look. “You think they’d be screaming if they were dead?”
“You never know with them.”
He chuckled and settled back into his seat now that you were next to him. He picked up a dangling earbud—you had developed a new fondness for wired ones after losing too many AirPods across Europe—and handed it to you, making sure that the one in his left ear was still in place.
You put the earbud back in and leaned back, allowing him to rest his head on your shoulder and resume the Sleep Token song you had been listening to.
“I’m really glad we’re finally on this plane,” he whispered. You turned your head just slightly to hear him better, your chin brushing over his hair, and he was tempted to start speaking in tongues just to feel you even closer in your confusion.
“I know,” you replied. “There were moments when I thought we’d never leave London.”
You felt his head move against your shoulder in agreement.
“Great venue,” he remarked. “But fuck if I didn’t want to get out of there and head straight to Paris.”
You snickered. “You think we’re romanticising Paris just because we won’t have to deal with Sid there anymore?”
“Absolutely,” he replied. He felt uneasy, all of a sudden, as he ran his hand over his thigh, trying not to focus on the unpleasant feeling that Sid's name alone evoked. “I-I’m glad it’s Paris, though. I was ready to pack up to go to the Arctic to get away from him.”
“Oh, penguins,” you said, a playful smile on your lips. “Sounds nice.”
A flight attendant rushed past you in the aisle, on her way to attend to some urgent matter, and even Jungkook raised his head when you began to look around to check if the band members were all in their seats. Yoongi and Hoseok had just returned, bumping into each other and the surrounding seats as they walked back.
“Yeah,” Jungkook said, drawing your attention back to him, as he looked out the window, counting, as it seemed, the patches of clouds. “But I didn’t pack a lot of appropriate clothing.”
“Hmm,” you mused, “and I reckon you’d get bored pretty quickly in the Arctic.”
He shifted his gaze from the endless expanse of clouds to give you a very serious look. “You think so?”
“Yeah,” you replied, grinning at the genuine concern in his eyes. “Penguins probably don’t appreciate alternative music as much as you do.”
He observed you for a moment, his own lips stretching into a smile as his eyes briefly flickered to your mouth. The song in your earbuds switched to Friday Pilots Club’s newest single.
“Well,” Jungkook said, just a tad hypnotised by your tongue running over your lower lip, “I’m sure I could change their minds.”
“Oh, most definitely,” you said, having no doubts at all that if Jungkook set his mind to it—if he viewed it as a challenge—he could convince penguins to fly, too.
He appeared very pleased with himself for a moment, and his satisfaction only increased when he returned his head to your shoulder, and you leaned your head against his.
“You’d have to come with me,” he said.
You raised an eyebrow but did not pull back. “To the—to the Arctic?”
“Mhmm,” he affirmed. “It’d be just us two and a bunch of penguins. Fucking rocks, come to think of it. Maybe we should go there straight after Paris.”
You tried to stifle your laughter to avoid disturbing the drowsy plane.
“Or how about we go somewhere warmer?” you suggested. “We’re finished with Sid anyway. Let’s leave the penguins alone.”
Jungkook felt his muscles tense once again. He still felt the weight of Sid’s name on his chest every time it came up, despite having “finished” with him.
To be fair, he didn’t expect this heaviness to disappear soon, but he figured he could learn to live with it. Carrying this weight felt like a reminder of everything he’d survived—of the chains he’d broken, if he wanted to be dramatic about it.
“That’s cool, too,” he said. “I like those cuddly ones—what are they called?—those little ones, with sand-coloured fur, love the sun. Sort of a tiny, pointy face—”
“Meerkats?” you offered.
“Yes!” He snapped his fingers, enthusiastic. “Let’s go where they are. They were cool when we saw them at that new zoo near my house, remember?”
You remembered, of course, even though that had been four or five years ago. You couldn’t recall the dates very well, but you always remembered the moments.
“Oh,” you said, “when a lemur followed you around the room the whole time we were there?”
Jungkook pursed his lips. He remembered the lemur, too; he’d felt a little unsettled around it. Not scared, though. He was never scared of living creatures.
“Hmm,” he nodded, grumbling the next word, “right.”
“You can’t go anywhere without an animal falling in love with you,” you teased. “It’s a bit annoying, actually.”
You placed your hand on his and Jungkook turned his palm over, lacing his fingers with yours.
“Why?” he asked smugly. “Do you feel threatened?”
“Should I?”
“No. What I had with that lemur wasn’t serious. It—”
He had to pause because you laughed, and the pride that suddenly swelled in his chest distracted him from his next words. He rarely made jokes these days unless you were in the room to hear them.
“It had crazy eyes,” he continued after a moment, “kind of like Sid does when he’s been sober for a few days in a row. Freaked me out.”
“Ah,” you said, nodding in amusement. “That explains why it followed you. Could be Sid’s distant relative.”
He snorted. “We’ve gone from rodents to lemurs. I don’t know if that’s an improve—”
“No,” you cut him off, no longer joking. Jungkook raised his head to look at you, surprised by the sudden change in your tone. “Sid’s a rat. He wishes he was something more.”
He lowered his gaze, his own expression growing serious for a moment.
“Yeah,” he said. “Actually, maybe we should have called animal control on him instead of the police.”
The idea brought a wry smile to your face. “He did seem feral the last time we saw him.”
“Hmm. I’m sad that I missed it all.”
“You—no,” you countered again. “You haven’t missed anything. It’s a good thing you weren’t there. Sid didn’t deserve to see you one last time.”
Jungkook knew that. But he still wished he could have seen the look on Sid’s face when he was dragged—kicking and screaming, according to what you’ve told him—into the back of the police car.
“Well, if your plan works as expected,” he said, “I’ll never see him again.”
You noted the hopeful tone in his voice and remembered, suddenly, your conversation in Stockholm, when you had advised Jungkook to find better friends, and he had seemed very remorseful in turn. Back then, he had clung to his friendship with Sid almost desperately, even though the two of them only had their shared history and nothing else in common.
Jungkook had buried it all now—he buried it the moment he realised that there had always been one name standing between him and you, and that name did not belong to either of you—and it still felt strange, but it also felt promising.
“I fucking hope not,” you said. “I hope he gets a fun cellmate and rots in a prison far, far away.”
His smile finally returned. He had been thinking a lot about what Sid would go through once he was arrested.
“I bet he’ll be paired up with someone fantastic,” he said. “When Minjun and I were arrested, we were put in separate cells, and I ended up with this guy—do you remember? He called me ‘sweetheart’, which was very nice. Until I mentioned that we weren’t allowed to smoke here, and he tried to gouge my eyes out. So, the honeymoon phase didn’t last.”
It was remarkable how quickly you laughed. There was a time, not that long ago, when you couldn’t find anything amusing about Jungkook’s arrest at all. You’d been convinced of his guilt and closed your eyes to everything that could have shown even a glimpse of his innocence.
You realised now that you might have just been waiting for Jungkook to do something—a final something—so you could give in to the fear that had been whispering in your ear about the impermanence of relationships since your first date.
I knew it, you had thought to yourself as you headed to that police station. Of course, this would happen. Of course, we’d break up eventually.
Nothing was meant to last forever, that much was true. But now you had come to believe that some people spent their whole lives building their relationship—brick by brick—never growing weary of this never-ending project. You were looking forward to becoming one of those people.
“I remember,” you said, your voice softened by the shift in your memories. “He told me to watch my back when I picked you up. I still don’t know what that was supposed to mean.”
“Maybe he thought I was a proper criminal,” Jungkook suggested.
You scoffed, earning his disapproving glare.
Despite his menacing frame, tattoos, piercings and deliberately provocative clothes, there was nothing truly threatening about Jungkook. He could hold his own in a fight—he was very proud of that—but he had the personality of a gently melted marshmallow. Someone would call his name and his whole face would light up. Someone would make a joke, and he would clap his hands and lean forward as he laughed, even toppling over sometimes—and then he’d do a somersault before landing on his feet.
He was only dangerous if you loved him as much as you did—to the point where it hurt sometimes, but never enough to truly leave.
“You got arrested because Sid set you up,” you said, responding to the scowl on his face with a warm smile. “Not quite as impressive as whatever your cellmate was in there for, I’m assuming.”
Jungkook shrugged, not arguing. “Yeah, it was his fourth time in that cell, he said.”
“Oh, that’s—”
“That week.”
“—fun.” You cleared your throat. “Four times in one week? Why did they keep releasing him?”
“It’s usually small misdemeanours,” he explained. “Urinating on some embassy building, drinking in a public park. That sort of stuff.”
“And,” you said, “he told you about all that while trying to poke your eyes out?”
“Yeah,” he said, chuckling. "It was very Joker.”
You snorted. “Well, this guy sounds like someone Sid would get on well with.”
“Mhmm,” Jungkook agreed. “I think so, too.”
You turned your gaze to the window on his side. There was something very exciting about the possibility of Sid finally experiencing the kind of harassment he had dished out to others. Revenge wasn’t always the answer, but here it fit.
Just like yours, Jungkook’s desire for vengeance burned fiercely beneath the surface, too. It was too strong, however—and too unrealistic, he knew—to fully quench. He knew Sid might not get the justice he deserved in the end, and he couldn’t help but feel a little dispirited.
“It just sucks,” he said, after fighting himself on it for a minute, “that Sid might find a way to make this situation more comfortable for himself.”
You thought about it, but refused to find anything negative in Sid’s current predicament.
“That’s fine, though,” you said. “It’s really bad for him this time. No amount of luxury he can attain in this position will be enough. His reputation means nothing here, but he fucked it up anyway.”
“So, he’ll be even angrier,” Jungkook observed, still not satisfied.
You shrugged. “Good.”
“And he’ll do everything to retaliate.”
“Well,” you remained unperturbed, “we already know that, right?”
“He—”
“Actually,” Minjun popped his head into the gap between your seats, startling you both. Your heavy gasps forced him to pull back a little. “Sorry. I was—I overheard your conversation. I spoke to my dad this morning; he heard that Sid had been arrested. It’s bad. For Sid’s family, I mean. My dad’s taken a day off today, but Sid’s mother is calling an emergency meeting with their shareholders because, obviously, their image has been tarnished. Everyone’s talking. They’re not pleased.”
Jungkook glanced at you. Your raised eyebrows seemed to reflect the excitement he felt rising within him.
“Oh,” Jungkook said slowly, not wanting to get ahead of himself. Sid had a knack—in the form of several black cards—for wriggling out of the deepest holes he’d dug himself into. “That sounds promising.”
“Yeah,” Minjun said. “My dad thinks that Sid’s mum will have to make a choice. It’s very dramatic, but so fucking funny. You know how Sid’s family is very—well, traditional, right? Sid’s mother is the only daughter, she has four older brothers. Her father doesn’t care much about her. Or about her kid.”
Both you and Jungkook remembered Sid’s grandfather. Although you never met him, you heard stories from when Jungkook and Sid worked on restoring cars from his Chevrolet collection. He was a lenient man, accepting of most things, as long as Sid did not step out of line.
“So, if Sid’s mum doesn’t get Sid out of this situation herself,” Minjun continued, “then no one else will. And if she can’t handle it discreetly—and it doesn’t look like she can, it’s already too late—then her father will likely advise her to distance herself from Sid in order to protect the company’s reputation. So, she’ll have to choose between her son, whom she loves so dearly, and the company that she’s worked so hard to build. Kind of poetic, I think.”
You didn’t realise how wide you were grinning until you tried to speak and felt just how far your cheeks had stretched.
“I appreciate what that implies for Sid in both scenarios,” you said, coughing a few times into your fist to compose yourself.
Minjun was less constrained in his glee. “Right? We’re done here. Sid has much bigger things to worry about than plotting revenge.”
Jungkook kissed his index finger and pointed it to the sky, gazing up. “Merry fucking Christmas to us.”
You laughed as the two boys high-fived over your head. Minjun pulled back then, sliding his headphones back on, and Jungkook turned to you again. He was finally able to inhale something that felt like real oxygen instead of the stale air he’d been breathing before.
“So,” he said, pressing his shoulder against yours as your arms rested on the armrest between you. “Meerkats, then?”
You nodded, an eager smile on your lips. “And penguins later.”
He raised an eyebrow, leaning back to get a better look at you. “You changed your mind?”
You shrugged. The two of you hadn’t paid any attention to the past three songs playing on the pair of earphones you were sharing.
“I’ll go anywhere you go,” you said—with an ease that made Minjun groan behind you with such a deep dedication to his displeasure that you felt your chair vibrate from the sound.
Jungkook was positively beaming, his eyes shining with all the colours that existed in the world, some of which were yet to be discovered.
“Well,” you said, your expression almost turning bashful, and Jungkook’s whole face seemed to start sparkling, “I think I just made Minjun’s soul leave his body for a second.”
“I know,” Jungkook said. “I don’t think I’ve ever loved you more than I do right now.”
“Oh—” your words dissolved into laughter. “I mean, I knew you were into praise, but not to such an extent.”
“Oh, to such an extent,” he boasted. “Tell me how good I am, and how you’ll never leave me, and you’ll really never get rid of me.”
The affection in your eyes turned a mischievous shade. “I already can’t get rid of you.”
His proud expression did not falter one bit. “It’s because I can sense how much you need me.”
“Ah,” you snickered again, “is that so?”
“Yes.” He reached for your hand again, intertwining your fingers. “Really, I’m being very charitable here.”
Your eyes were locked on the smirk on his lips. “Public service, now, is it?”
“Mhmm,” he said. “Paying off my sins by doing a good deed.”
“I see,” you played along. “Trying to get into heaven after you die?”
He placed your hands on his lap, his thumb caressing yours. “Actually, I’m already there.”
Minjun smacked the back of Jungkook’s seat with enough force to dislodge your earbud from your ear.
“Please go back to talking about meerkats,” he asked from behind you, his tone pleading.
Jungkook laughed, and his unapologetic expression made you smile, too. You finally broke and leaned in to press your lips to his cheek, melting, very successfully, all that was still left of his heart.
“I love you,” you whispered with a look in your eyes that he would have gone to war for.
He squeezed your hand and leaned into you, his cheek grazing yours before he connected your lips, whispering into the kiss, “I love you.”
Your hotel in Paris was an intriguing combination of marble floors with opulent chandeliers in the lobby, and peeling wallpaper with questionable stains marking the walls in the corridors outside of your rooms.
The lift was not working—you’ve already grown used to this in London—so you had to haul your luggage up the creaking stairs. Somewhere around the second floor, Jungkook decided to take a break. He sat down on his dark grey, metallic suitcase, and accidentally rolled down at least five steps before grabbing the railing to stop himself from returning to the lobby on his ass.
The commotion caught the attention of a few porters—who seemed in no hurry to assist you with your luggage—and they informed you, very ominously, that several rock bands before yours had been kicked out of the hotel for “disorderly behaviour.”
Everyone in Rated Riot understood the warning, but you were concerned about the expressions on the members’ faces. There was a certain allure to these threats. Jungkook, in particular, seemed thrilled to see how much he could get away with without getting kicked out.
Fortunately, your first night at the hotel was as quiet as it could be, considering that silence was a relative concept for Rated Riot. Taehyung and Luna had accidentally torn the curtains in their room while “getting ready to sleep,” and Hoseok managed to lose a shoe outside his window, but the hotel staff remained blissfully oblivious about it all. You decided not to ask questions, either.
However, when you woke up the following morning, you almost regretted not giving the members an educational speech about good behaviour in any case, because Jungkook wasn’t in the room with you.
He had never woken up before you in all the years you’ve known him—regardless of how late your last night had been—so you were understandably alarmed. Surely, you thought, he was up to something with the rest of the band.
But then, as you pushed the covers off, the door of your room suddenly opened, and Jungkook walked in, alive and seemingly unharmed. He was surprised to find you staring at him, but his face lit up with a grin as soon as the early morning sunlight from the window behind you caught his silver necklace, momentarily blinding you.
“Hi,” he said. “You’re finally awake.”
You were at an unfortunate loss for words for at least half a minute. It was eight in the morning, and Jungkook had never used the words ‘finally’ and ‘awake’ in the same sentence unless he was referring to himself.
“I finally am,” you replied, your voice hoarse. His smile grew wider as he made his way back to the bed. “Sorry I’ve kept you waiting.”
“Oh, it’s alright,” he replied easily, plopping down beside you. “Should we grab breakfast before your meeting? Or would you prefer after?”
This relaxed demeanour was a characteristic trademark for Jungkook—although it usually concealed much deeper anxiety—but it felt surreal to encounter it so early in the day.
“Where—why are you up?” you finally asked, rubbing your eyes in a futile attempt to force them to stay open.
He shrugged. “Just excited for the day, I guess.”
You noticed a flicker in his gaze as if your question had intimidated him, and you could tell there was something else going on. But he looked genuinely ready for the day, and you didn’t want to risk stirring any tension that you’d been expecting to find this morning but hadn’t.
“Alright,” you said. “Maybe let’s eat after. Do you want to just stay here for a minute?”
Jungkook wanted to stay here for much longer than a minute, and he scooted back to his spot on the right side of the bed. You leaned back into the pillows, closer to him, and he pulled you into his chest, pressing his cheek against yours before turning his head to place a quick kiss on your lips.
It was a grounding kiss—to make sure you were really in this bed with him—but you still felt your anxious thoughts stop, place their hands in their laps obediently, and settle down in his presence—powerless, it seemed, when Jungkook was in the room with you.
It hadn’t really occurred to you how worried you were about your upcoming meeting—the empty room had worked as a sufficient distraction—until Jungkook’s quiet breaths, muffled by your lips pressed to his, took your mind off everything.
Your phone buzzed on the nightstand, startling you into pulling away. Jungkook sighed, having expected the interruption. He was already getting used to never having you all to himself for too long.
You gave him an apologetic smile and leaned over the bed to check your phone—on the screen was a preview of an email you had been waiting for all week.
“What is it?” he asked, noticing your expression.
“I’ll tell the whole band later,” you said—and elaborated before he could insist on being told first, “but I’ve found a new band to open for you guys for the rest of the tour. They just confirmed they’re available and interested. I don’t know if this is the last thing I’m doing as your manager, but if it is, then I’m quite happy with that. I obviously haven’t signed them yet—they’ve only agreed to discuss the details. But I watched all their performance videos tonight; they’re great.”
Jungkook looked—and very much felt—deflated all of a sudden. “Don’t say that.”
You gave him a puzzled look. “No, really, Maggie said she listens to them, and she—”
“Not that,” he cut in. “The other thing.”
He meant you leaving Rated Riot, of course. But after tossing and turning half the night, you had mostly come to terms with what your life would look like if the label decided to revoke your promotion and terminate your position as Rated Riot’s manager once they learned about your relationship with Jungkook. That would make your meeting twice as unpleasant, of course, but you’d figure it out.
You’d fight to stay, but you’d leave if you had no other choice. You’d find something else to do. And if nothing else worked, Nick’s offer with Reconnaissance was still open—you planned to call him today either way.
“It’s okay,” you said. “We’ll see what happens today.”
Jungkook mumbled something unintelligible under his breath.
“Also,” he said then, louder, “what do you mean you watched their performances tonight? Where was I?”
“Asleep.”
He frowned, his expression nearing offence. “And you weren’t? And you didn’t wake me?”
He quickly deduced that you hadn’t slept because you were too nervous. He should have known you would be, and he mentally scolded himself for not realising that sooner. He supposed he missed falling asleep next to you too much to worry about anything else.
“You can hardly say anything when you haven’t told me where you were just now,” you pointed out.
He changed his mind about complaining that you hadn’t woken him.
“I—wait, w-who is this band, then?” he asked instead.
You glanced at your phone after it lit up with another notification—this one from your calendar, reminding you, pointlessly, that you had a meeting in an hour.
“Nyx and the Insomniacs,” you replied, swiping the notification away. “You heard of them?”
Jungkook needed a moment to place the name.
“Yeah,” he said uncertainly, recalling the band but not why they sounded familiar. “I-I think Yoongi knows someone there?”
It wasn’t surprising, considering Yoongi seemed to know someone in every band.
Before you could respond, however, Jungkook added a very determined, “and it’s not going to be the last thing you do as our manager.”
“I hope not,” you said. Not wanting to linger on the topic and lose the few moments you had together before your meeting, you lied back down on the bed and turned to your side to face him. “Now tell me why you were awake so early. I mean, really.”
He sighed—sadly, somehow—at your question. He’d promised the rest of the band he wouldn’t tell you anything just yet. You’d find out where he was soon enough anyway.
“No good reason,” he said, carefully tiptoeing around the truth to avoid a deeper conversation about this. “Nervous, I guess. You and I slept in shifts, apparently.”
“Apparently.”
“Why do you keep asking?” he asked, leaning in closer to nestle his face into the crook of your neck. “Did you want to wake up with me that much?”
“Hmm, I’m conflicted about that,” you said, feeling a rapid wave of shivers run down your spine when his lips touched your neck in a tender, almost imaginary kiss. “Y-you suffocate me in your sleep, so it was nice to breathe for an hour or two.”
His laughter was muffled as he kissed your neck again, moving down to your collarbones and holding you tighter when he felt you squirm in his arms at the feeling.
“Breathing is overrated anyway,” he said.
“Yeah, so I’ve heard.”
You turned your head, and he looked up, smirking first—always—and leaning in to kiss you second. He held your lower lip locked between his, believing—very firmly—that if your head wasn’t spinning after he pulled away, he hadn’t truly kissed you. But as he ran his tongue over your parted lips, his stomach clenching in anticipation of your familiar taste, he heard your phone vibrate once again.
Groaning gibberish curses, he rolled away so you could pick up the device, your expression a mix of amusement and guilt.
“It’s the last time something interrupts us, I promise,” you assured, swiping away another notification as soon as you looked at it. You had decided to only respond to urgent emails this morning to avoid overheating your brain and to prevent Jungkook from scolding you about working too much again. “But I have to—I need to start getting ready.”
He suppressed all further complaints he had prepared to delay you from leaving the bed and forced himself to nod.
“I understand,” he said. “Send me the link to your playlist.”
You had already shifted to the edge of the bed and had to turn back to look at him over your shoulder. “Hmm?”
“I’ll listen to it while I wait for your meeting to finish.”
You turned away again, mumbling an exasperated, “God.”
“Come on,” he urged, crossing his ankles as he watched you from his side of the bed. “I’m awake and bored. Who knows what sort of tomfoolery I might get up to if you leave me unattended.”
“I knew I should have enrolled you in kindergarten.”
He snickered, sitting up suddenly. The more you resisted showing him the playlist, the more he wanted to hear it, and he could not stay still.
Thumping his palms on the mattress with every word, he chanted: “Give—me—the—link—to—”
“Fine, fine,” you relented—he made sure to leave you no other option as his volume grew—and stood up from the bed to unlock your phone. “But don’t open it until I’m out of the room.”
“I won’t,” he said, bouncing on his knees. He looked about ready to roll over and play dead, too, as long as you showed him the playlist.
You glanced at him, avoiding eye contact with the green Spotify circle.
“Promise me,” you said—more to delay what had become inevitable than for any other reason.
He tilted his head, his intrigued smile now bordering on absurd. “Is it that bad?”
“We will never speak of it once you listen.”
“Alright, shit.” He sat down, crossing his legs under himself even though he knew he wouldn’t stay in this position very long. He felt like a Christmas ornament—outrageously jittery and tingly. “I promise. Send it to me.”
“Alright.” You scrolled through your library, digging your teeth into your lip. You felt like you were eighteen again, starting this playlist after Jungkook had taken up residence in your mind without having said one word to you. You had never thought you’d show all these songs to him one day. “Let me find it first. Imagine if it’s gone.”
He sneered. “Imagine if I wouldn’t believe you.”
You glared at him over the top of your phone. He maintained his grin with slightly pursed lips, clearly enjoying your flustered state.
“It’s here,” you said, clicking on the playlist, but deliberately not looking down at the songs.
“Is the title just a row of pink hearts?” he asked and received another glare in response.
He chuckled. He could tell that you were on the verge of bolting for the door in hopes that he wouldn’t chase after you. He absolutely would.
“No,” you said. “It’s actually ‘why?’ in all caps.”
He cleared his throat, looking away. “I don’t get it.”
You finally grinned.
Jungkook already had another question at the tip of his tongue—one that would undoubtedly result in you tackling him—but his phone buzzed with a text notification from you. Glancing down, he grinned. He’d named your contact “LOML <3” a few days ago to annoy Minjun, and now he smiled every time he saw it.
“Got it,” he said, noting the Spotify link in the preview of the message. “Can I open it now, just to check if you sent me the right—?”
“Absolutely not,” you retorted. “I know I sent you the right link. Don’t click on it until I’m out of here.”
Biting back his amusement, he locked his phone and demonstratively pushed it away from himself on the bed.
“Okay, here,” he said, extending his hands to demonstrate the distance between himself and the device. “I’ll entertain myself by watching you put on make-up, then. That works, too.”
You didn’t object—in fact, he saw a smile flash briefly on your features—and he climbed off the bed, following you to the small bathroom.
It was not a pleasant room: two out of three lightbulbs in the fixture on the ceiling weren’t working, so the perpetually foggy mirror on the wall was useless. Most of the wall tiles were cracked, and the bathtub was an odd shade of yellow. But Jungkook wrapped his arms around your waist, resting his chin on your shoulder as he watched you rummage through your cosmetics bag for your toothbrush, and you did not notice any of the flies or the cobwebs by the bathroom window. You did not notice how long you had to wait for the water to turn warm.
At one point, he sniffed your eyeshadow palette—for no reason whatsoever—and began to sneeze so violently and uncontrollably that you had to sit down on the edge of the tub to control your laughter, forgetting all about the awful bathroom and the daunting meeting with the Jett Records’ legal team.
However disruptive he was, Jungkook distracted you from everything that might have brought you down, and you were very grateful to have him here with you.
Sadly, your carefree morning didn’t last long.
Now that Jungkook was no longer with you, you paced outside the conference room on the ground floor of the hotel, obsessively checking your phone. Despite only getting a few hours of sleep tonight, you felt perfectly alert—the stress was great at keeping you sharp—and you noticed the Jett Records representatives as soon as they climbed down from their rooms.
An executive producer, Salma, whom the band had worked with before, showed up in place of CJ’s assistant. She’d left a good impression on you when you first met her, but now she was accompanied by two intimidating lawyers.
The one who introduced himself first—making a joke out of his lengthy full name and asking you to simply call him Reggie—had kinder eyes than the one who talked to you next. He was Duke, and he looked like he ate bricks for breakfast and knit spider webs as a hobby.
Fortunately, Reggie was the one who took the lead in the conversation, promising a quick—“five minutes tops, really”—introduction to the changes in your new contract.
Unfortunately, he ended up keeping everyone in the conference room for over half an hour. The lack of air conditioning in the old hotel, combined with the four of you in the confined space, made the room stifling. You felt yourself beginning to sweat.
“Do you have anything you’d like to ask, or can we move on to some routine questions before we sign the contract?” Reggie asked, pulling out a white handkerchief to wipe his forehead.
“No questions right now,” you replied, restlessly tapping your knee with your left hand under the table.
“Perfect,” Reggie said. “Could we open the window maybe? Would you mind?”
“Oh, actually, I’d prefer it,” you said, and the lawyer let out a sigh of relief. He glanced at Salma, who was sitting closest to the window, and she got up to open it.
It took the producer a minute to figure out the wooden window frame, but once she managed to pull the latch, a gust of eager wind finally blew into the room. The rustling leaves outside and the distant hum of Parisian traffic provided a melodious backdrop, but not even that could ease the knot of tension in your stomach. You felt like you were in the waiting room of a dentist’s office.
“Alright,” Reggie said, setting the papers he had been reading aside and grabbing another stack from the table.
You felt a new wave of heat wash over you, dreading another half hour of monotonous reading, but Reggie blissfully turned to the last few pages.
“We know about your previous job experience,” he said. “But do you have any other sources of income that we should know about?”
“No,” you replied, keeping your responses concise as you flipped through your own copy of the contract to find the page Reggie was on.
He scribbled something down with his engraved Montblanc pen. Duke looked bored next to him as he lazily chewed something—dead bugs, you assumed. Salma, in the meantime, was completely absorbed in her phone.
“Possible conflicts of interest?” Reggie asked, pulling your attention away from the other people in the room.
You took a deep breath. “Yes.”
Reggie turned his pen and asked, without looking up from his papers, “go on.”
“I am in a relationship with the lead vocalist of Rated Riot.”
Gripping the arms of your chair, you held your breath, anticipating raised eyebrows, disapproving glances, and, eventually, a termination of your employment.
But neither Salma nor Duke turned to look at you. Reggie was silent for a moment as he scanned the documents in front of him. You imagined he was searching for a clause outlining the consequences of this particular offence. Your nerves prevented you from checking your own copy.
“That’s already here,” Reggie finally said.
“It’s—hmm?” You straightened in your seat. “Sorry?”
“It already says so here,” Reggie repeated, pointing to a section on his paper and sliding it towards you. “Anything else that we should add?”
You looked down at the text he had indicated. It read, “Private interest of Employee: undisclosed consensual personal relationship without a direct hierarchical link.”
You did not understand what that meant. Skimming the whole paragraph, you caught sight of Jungkook’s name—but Yoongi, Hoseok, and Taehyung were mentioned, too, just a few lines below.
“I-I’m sorry,” you stammered, your hands trembling as you held Reggie’s paper to prevent it from blowing away in the gentle breeze. “The label—it says here that I am in a relationship?”
You felt incredibly foolish to ask for a translation of the words that were written in a language you, technically, spoke, but you couldn’t not ask, either.
“Well, yes,” Reggie confirmed, looking a bit perplexed by your reaction.
“A-and they—how did they—”
Duke was the one who responded to your stuttering.
“HR conducts a background search before they hire someone,” he said as if this was the part you struggled to understand. “This information was included in your contract when you started to work with Jett Records. Didn’t CJ go through this with you?”
He sounded absurdly pleased with himself when he spoke, not even realising how little sense he made. When you joined Jett Records, Rated Riot weren’t signed yet; the band had barely been formed. Your relationship held no relevance to the label. And your position certainly wasn’t important enough to warrant a thorough consultation with the CEO.
“No, he didn’t,” you said, reflexively matching your voice to his condescending tone. “Are you sure this was included in my initial contract? Because Rated Riot weren’t even signed with us when I came to Jett Records.”
Finally, Duke removed his elbows from the table, looking slightly uncomfortable. He seemed to have realised that he had misspoken, and now he’d have to tell you something he wasn’t supposed to.
“It’s, uh—” Duke started to say, then glanced over at Reggie. Reggie glared at him, not willing to help, so Duke tried again. “It—what HR does is more exhaustive than just double-checking everything on your application. They can—if they come across certain information at any point of your employment, and they think it could be, uh, relevant, they inform CJ about it. It appears that he—they probably updated your employee file before you began to work with Rated Riot, that’s why it’s on the contract.”
You kept tucking the strands of your hair behind your ears—a nervous habit that you were too overwhelmed to control.
CJ knew, then. He had an “employee file” about you, and he knew you’d dated Jungkook before he hired you for Rated Riot. You could not understand if he simply didn’t care about your relationship or if said relationship was exactly the reason why he hired you.
“And,” you said, “is there anything else that HR has included in my file?”
This made Duke pull even further back from the table. Reggie sighed. It appeared that they both knew that this—your lack of awareness about how much HR pried into your personal life without your knowledge—could pose a serious problem for the label.
“Well,” Reggie said, skimming over the pages in front of him again, “there’s nothing that could be considered a real conflict of interest.”
“So, we don’t have any problems, then?” you asked, your tone sharper than you’d intended. “Legally?”
The two men across the table from you exchanged a glance.
“Not about the, uh, relationship,” Reggie said, speaking slowly to avoid any further confusion. “Our contracts only prohibit employer-employee relationships. And your direct employer is Christian Jett, not Rated Riot. So, no, in your case, there are no legal issues. And, if anything, from a strictly business perspective, employee relationships, especially those within the band, could be—well, almost profitable, really.”
You continued to watch him, your gaze fading out of focus, and Reggie looked back down at the papers in front of him, very uneasy again. He’d thought he was easing your worries about your relationship being public knowledge, he didn’t expect to make this even worse for you.
Profitable, then. From a strictly business perspective, CJ could have found your relationship profitable, so he hired you for Rated Riot.
You came into this meeting thinking Jungkook was your biggest risk. Instead, your relationship with him was profitable.
You felt too dazed to move.
Duke, meanwhile, observed you with a newfound fascination and a slightly raised brow.
“You, uh,” he cleared his throat, “you weren’t aware of this, then? That your relationship with anyone in the band wouldn’t be a—”
“No,” you replied. “I thought I’d need to formally declare it. I didn’t know it was already in my file.”
You didn’t know there was a file at all, actually—because employees weren’t supposed to know.
And now you wondered what else HR has deemed relevant for everyone at the company to know about you. Nick’s call to you about a job opening with Reconnaissance must have made it to the file, too.
“Hmm.” Duke nodded to himself, then turned to his colleague. “Well that finally explains the email, doesn’t it, Reg?”
Reggie clenched his jaw but did not look up from his papers and did not respond. He did not think this was an appropriate discussion to have right now.
“W-what email?” you asked, almost apprehensive.
Duke turned back to you, studying your expression for a moment. He was trying to determine if your confusion was genuine. To his surprise, it appeared to be. And here he assumed you were the one who had orchestrated this.
“This morning, Min Yoongi sent an email to Jett Records on behalf of the band,” Duke said. “It’s quite late over there, but CJ’s assistant saw it and forwarded it to us.”
Duke went on to explain that it was a scanned copy of a formal letter. The members of Rated Riot stated that they understood the consequences of terminating their contract early, but they would leave the label regardless, unless you continued to work as their manager. All four of them had signed it.
You felt, suddenly, like you had just been catapulted to the seventieth floor—sixty floors above the hotel’s tallest floor—and reached the top in about two seconds. There seemed to be cotton in your ears that made the rest of the room sound foggy somehow.
You realised where Jungkook had been this morning before he returned to your hotel room.
“I see,” you said, and then tried, very poorly, to articulate your thoughts, “I was—I wasn’t—I see.”
You remembered Namjoon telling you once that he and the band would not sit idly if they found out that the label made you resign. You supposed that a part of you had thought it was simply a nice thing to say, and nothing more. You hadn’t expected him to really mean it.
Reggie finally looked up, glancing from Duke’s scowl to your uncomfortable expression.
“Okay,” Reggie said, finally returning to the page in your contract where he had paused earlier. “So, are there any conflicts of interest that we should know about?”
You swallowed, your stomach still clenched as you attempted to process everything, not feeling any relief just yet.
“No,” you said. “There aren’t any.”
“Okay,” Reggie said again. “Shall we proceed then?”
“Yes. Let’s proceed.”
“Perfect. We—”
“Actually,” Salma interjected, putting her phone down. “There’s another matter that CJ wanted me to bring up. If you don’t mind, Reg?”
Reggie pulled back from the papers on the table, a little annoyed, but he motioned for Salma to take over anyway. Duke gazed out the window, completely unfazed by Salma’s disregard for him.
“Alright,” the producer said, turning to you. “The leaked album cover, then.”
You blinked, not having expected to discuss the bathtub picture today. You wondered if that would be a conflict of interest, but decided not to ask. It might turn out to be profitable, too.
“I’ve, uh, explained to CJ that it won’t happen again,” you said.
“We know,” Salma replied. “But CJ is thinking if we should sue. Or, at the very least, threaten legal action? If someone’s spying on your servers—”
“Someone—uh, no,” you scratched the back of your neck, “to be honest, we’ve already taken steps to prevent any future breaches. Anything more than that would be a, uh... waste of resources, really.”
You weren’t lying; you had really contained Sid. And there was no need to divulge more information about that, you thought bitterly. Or they might include that in your file, too.
You still half-expected someone in the room to directly mention Sid anyway, even despite not knowing about his connection to the album cover. He got arrested during the band’s show in London, after all. But no one said anything about him, and you didn’t either.
You felt glad that, aside from publicising the bathtub picture, Sid now held as much significance to your life as the random hotel guest singing loudly outside the conference room window: vaguely bothersome, but largely irrelevant.
“Oh, well, I’m happy to hear that,” Salma said, glancing at Reggie across the table—he was reading something on his phone and didn’t notice her gaze. “I talked to Namjoon for a minute after we arrived last night, but he didn’t mention anything. Has the band decided on a release date for the first single?”
This whole meeting turned out to be something you hadn’t prepared for, and your anxiety didn’t quite know how to handle it.
“Uh, soon,” you replied. “They’re still working on it.”
Salma smiled. Sensing your unease, she reached over to give your shoulder a friendly squeeze.
“Namjoon said exciting things are coming,” she said. You appreciated her light tone. “I can’t wait.”
“Yeah. They definitely are.”
“Alright, well,” Reggie cut in as he put his phone down. His voice sounded a little impatient, but he remained more composed than Duke, who yawned, bored again, and spun in his office chair. “Let’s finish this up, yeah? Still got three more pages to go.”
The three pages ended up taking another half an hour to get through as Reggie went out of his way to explain everything, checking and double-checking every questionable clause, and asking you about all the things that he had initially planned not to ask about. He was still worried about the company’s laid-back attitude towards employee privacy, you could tell. But you were so tired of this that you were almost ready to sign anything just to finally leave this room.
Once the meeting finally concluded—and you did, in fact, have to sign at least ten dotted lines—you found out that Reggie and Duke had decided to stay in Paris to see Rated Riot’s show. Salma promised them it would be great and took them to lunch at a café a few blocks away, giving you a wink as she left. She saved you from more small talk, and you made a mental note to buy her a drink sometime later.
There was another important conversation you needed to have today, and dialling Nick’s number after everything you’ve already endured turned out to be very easy.
You hoped to explain everything to him quickly, maintaining a good relationship with him in case of potential collaborations between the bands you managed. But you ended up being a little too diplomatic: you had to repeat your refusal to join his team three times before Nick understood what you were saying.
He was not surprised. He said that he’d been hearing a lot about Rated Riot every time he went out with someone from his staff, so he understood your decision to stay with them. And then, most unexpectedly, he asked if you could arrange for him and a few Reconnaissance members to attend one of Rated Riot’s final European shows in Italy.
This time, it was Nick who had to repeat himself three times for you to comprehend the request.
You were well aware of the admiration and reverence that Rated Riot had for Reconnaissance; the number of times that the boys had attended their concerts was too inappropriate to mention out loud.
Now, the members of Reconnaissance were interested in attending Rated Riot’s show. And despite your skin tingling with excitement, you were almost afraid to share this news with the band, fearing they might break something—namely, their necks—once they heard about it.
As promised, Jungkook waited until you left for your meeting before he ensconced himself in your empty hotel room, anticipation pulsating a lively rhythm in his chest.
When your playlist loaded on his screen—actually titled, ‘why?’ in all capital letters as you’d said—he checked the duration and briefly considered finding heart drops before he began to listen.
Scrolling through the tracks, he noticed the dates when you added them to the playlist, offering him a clear roadmap of your emotions over the years. He wasn’t sure what to do with himself as he reclined on the bed and tried to relax.
The first song was added about two weeks after the Freshman event where you claimed to have noticed him for the first time. It was a song by Dashboard Confessional—“My heart is yours to fill or burst, to break or bury, or wear as jewelry, whichever you prefer”—and Jungkook accepted that not even heart drops could help him get through this playlist.
When, three songs later, he reached Bring Me The Horizon—“Your voice makes my heart skip beats, so keep quiet before it flatlines”—and realised that he still hadn’t talked to you at this point in the playlist, he felt his hands begin to shake.
It was true, then. You had really seen him for the first time at the same moment he had seen you, and you’ve had a crush on him since then, too.
The lyrics of the next song by Black Veil Brides—“One look and I am sold, you got me on my knees”—were a prophecy, because this was where it all began. You’ve added it just one day after your first conversation outside of class, and it marked the point where Jungkook recognised every word of every upcoming song because he’d experienced them all with you.
Bad Omens’ “Crawl” brought back your first date in the park under the pouring rain, where the two of you had revealed everything that weighed on you, despite only knowing each other for a little over a week. Jungkook recalled a sense of disbelief at how easily the two of you had connected. Logically, there should have been barriers between you, things that you kept to yourselves for fear of scaring each other away. But sharing everything from that very first moment had felt right—it was later that honesty became scary.
Between the city's gates and nowhere is where I'll be, my dear. Ghost of soldiers will greet you and point the way to me, my dear.
Sleep Token’s “Fields of Elation” reminded him of your second date at the carnival, where he had stumbled over his thoughts, attempting to ask you to be his girlfriend. You’d said yes, despite not understanding his jumbled question. He remembered the anticipation he’d felt back then, too: he wanted to kiss you so much that he was nearly vibrating, nearly spinning on an invisible propeller attached to his chest. And when he finally pressed his lips to yours, he thought he’d never pull away again.
Your name is a sin I breathe like oxygen, caught in the careless arms of lust again.
Biffy Clyro’s “Many of Horror” was a song that echoed through every significant moment in your relationship. Jungkook noted that you’d added it a few days after the first time he’d stayed over at your dorm room. It had actually been an accident: you brought him back after a campus party to help him sober up a little, and he ended up falling asleep on your bed. He woke up sometime at three in the morning, and the two of you stayed up talking and listening to music for the rest of the night.
If Jungkook closed his eyes right now, he could still see you watching him as he sang along to the song for the very first time, your hands intertwined on the pillows on your bed. You had always looked at him with something magical in your gaze, and he remembered how long it took for him to get used to maintaining eye contact with you without feeling dizzy.
I still believe, it’s you and me ‘til the end of time.
He reached Paramore’s “The Only Exception” shortly after that, and had to play it twice because the first listen had emptied his thoughts. You’ve added the song—with a line that he could not get through without his breath hitching: “That was the day that I promised I’d never sing of love if it does not exist, but darling, you are the only exception”—at least a month before he first told you he loved you under a canopy of blooming cherry blossoms.
There was also an Architects song on your playlist right after that—“I used to think that I knew better than those around me, but something changed along the way, and you’re the reason I’m wanting to stay”—and he remembered, right away, all the fears the two of you used to have, and all the fears you were still fighting to this day. You had never been sure if you believed in love, and he struggled to accept that he didn’t need to work in order to deserve love. But all of that had seemed trivial back then, almost irrelevant when you were staying up until the sunrise in your dorm room, your eyes bright, your hearts awake. Jungkook could tell, as he listened to your playlist, that you were already in love.
Your communication used to be so effortless back then. It only became harder to keep talking to each other when your relationship grew into the most meaningful aspect of your lives. The fear of damaging it made you both retreat into silence.
Now, you had both grown enough to understand that it wasn’t silence that saved a relationship; it was the willingness to talk about it.
There were a few Reconnaissance songs in your playlist, too, and Jungkook smiled again, knowing he was the reason you’d added them. He remembered the excitement of attending the band’s show for the first time. You’d been there with him, even though you hadn’t heard their music before, and he’d felt elated when you admitted how much you enjoyed it.
It would be beautiful, Jungkook thought in a sudden moment of solemn reflection, if you went on to manage Reconnaissance now. But it’d be equally as beautiful if you stayed with him, allowing Rated Riot to surpass the one band that he had admired for most of his life.
Checking the time on the corner of his screen, Jungkook concluded that your meeting must have already started. Taking a deep breath, he skipped the next few Reconnaissance songs.
Def Leppard’s “When Love And Hate Collide” played next, and Jungkook chuckled at the memory of your first Valentine’s Day together. You had gone to a restaurant for dinner, and you’d both had a little too much wine. This song had started to play and despite hearing it for the first time, he tried very hard to serenade you from across the table: “one night alone is like a year without you, baby.” His tongue kept getting caught on his teeth as he tried to guess the next lyrics, but you were making half-hearted attempts to shush him as you laughed, and he silently vowed to spend every Valentine’s Day with you for the rest of his life.
He doubted he grasped how serious he was about this promise back then. There were only two Valentine’s Days that he had to survive without you—and he drank them both away, understandably—but since you re-entered his life, he had kept his word.
He was drunk when he sent you flowers for Valentine’s Day that first February after you started to work with Rated Riot. He was rarely sober at the time, so this wasn’t unusual, but he had enough brain to leave an anonymous note with the flowers. He knew you might quit on the spot if you learned that the bouquet of roses was from him.
Honestly, he couldn’t explain why he felt compelled to send you the flowers at all. You were broken up for two years at that point, and he prided himself on having moved on. But then he sent you another bouquet the next Valentine’s Day, just a few months before the start of this tour. He didn’t know why he did it that time, either.
He told himself that it was tradition, ignoring the blatant truth that he was still excessively in love with you. Claiming that this was just a habit was simply a good way to justify his actions to himself.
You never mentioned anything, so he assumed you never suspected him to be behind the flowers—and he was relieved. He knew he would have had to downplay it if you confronted him about it, and he didn’t want to. He wasn’t joking. He’d meant every stem, every sharp thorn, and every scarlet petal.
An overwhelming number of Arctic Monkeys songs in your playlist followed your first spring together: double-dates with Kihyun and Chloé, meeting each other’s families, attending campus parties together, and spending nights in your dorm room where you’d study and he’d do everything to distract you.
The lyrics of “R U Mine?”—“Unfair we’re not somewhere misbehaving for days”—reminded him of one night when the two of you were smoking outside of a party, on the corner of the library building. You had used his lighter to burn the first letters of your names on the wall, with a heart in between. You were drunk, of course, but this was the first time he’d seen you break the campus rules by defacing a public building.
A few months later, when you were walking around campus with Kihyun and Chloé, Kihyun had spotted the two initials on the wall of the library, and paused.
“Wait,” he’d said, eyeing the burn marks, “this kind of looks like—”
“Yeah, I did that,” you’d cut him off, and walked away without looking back.
Surprised, Kihyun turned to him, and Jungkook grinned proudly, running to catch up with you. He knew, at that moment, that he would be truly, wholeheartedly yours forever.
Your summer roadtrip songs came next in your playlist, and Jungkook could no longer sit idly as he listened to Papa Roach’s, “you know I love it when you’re down on your knees, and I’m a junkie for the way that you please.” He remembered you singing along and stealing kisses as he drove the two of you down coastal roads in a rental car. He remembered chasing you down the beach, stumbling over abandoned sandcastles, and washing the sand off your skin every night. He remembered every moment vividly and he was very close to tearing the mattress with his nostalgic bouncing.
Bring Me The Horizon’s “Follow You” marked your first anniversary, and it was easily one of the most played songs during your relationship. Jungkook remembered having a dream, months before your anniversary, about renting a convertible and taking you to a restaurant that he definitely couldn’t afford. And he made it happen—even despite some unexpected challenges along the way, like your battle with bugs and the wind in the car. Still, you managed to arrive at the restaurant two minutes before your reservation was cancelled. And all that this experience taught him was that he was perfect with anything, no matter how messy and downright chaotic, as long as you were with him.
So you can drag me through hell, if it meant I could hold your hand.
The Ramones’ “Do You Wanna Dance?” took him back to the days in your dorm room when you were practically living together: you’d come back after class and spend the afternoon eating snacks, watching films, sometimes going out to get groceries and drinks. And you’d dance a lot—although, at first, you merely nodded your head or tapped your feet while he got entangled in the curtains with his ridiculous, extravagant moves. He always pulled you in to join him, sooner or later. And despite your accidental kicks to his shins, you soon found yourself at complete ease. You had never thought you’d dance without getting drunk first, and Jungkook took pride in pushing you out of your comfort zone. He hadn’t yet realised—not fully—that he was your comfort zone.
Do you wanna dance and hold my hand? Tell me, baby, I’m your lover man.
You added Fall Out Boy’s “Homesick At Space Camp” to your playlist during your hospital stay six years ago, and Jungkook had to remind his heart to keep beating as he listened to the song. You had argued so much back then—you were mad that he’d wasted his time by calling an ambulance for you, and he was mad that he had no other choice. You were mad that he’d failed his exam, and he was mad that he couldn’t tell you the real reason he’d failed. But the underlying truth behind all those arguments was that you both cared about each other too much.
The song also reminded him of you fainting on this tour. You protested and complained that time, too. But you’d stayed in bed. You’d listened. And you’d finally accepted, he could tell, how much your well-being mattered to him, and how deeply he regretted taking you for granted.
My smile’s an open wound without you.
Hearing Backstreet Boys in your playlist next made him shake his head to himself. He couldn’t escape the nightmares from the birthday party when he’d performed “As Long As You Love Me”, but he supposed he didn’t really want to escape that much anyway. This night had brought you so much joy. Really, that was the only reason he sang that song for you—he saw the way your eyes glittered, the way you clapped your hands and laughed as he set up the chair for his performance. He would have done far stupider things to see you laugh like that again.
Several more Architects songs, vastly different from the ones he heard before, marked your second Valentine’s Day. That was the year he gave himself a concussion and earned a month-long suspension for “stealing” the laboratory projector. You’d spent that month together in your dorm, and even despite his many blunders, Jungkook could sense from the songs in your playlist that your relationship was still going well.
He scrolled past several uplifting dance hits and slower love ballads, listening to a few seconds of each—just so he could taste the memories of those days on his tongue. Just so he could remember humming these songs in your ear before you fell asleep on his bed, your feet cold against his ankles. And he felt his chest expand at the thought that you were listening to these same songs without him, too. It thrilled him to imagine that you thought of him before falling asleep as often as he’d thought of you.
He found many songs that his grandmother had recommended in your playlist, and his heart warmed as he played Black Sabbath’s “Symptom of the Universe”, Mötley Crüe’s “Helter Skelter”, Corrosion of Conformity’s “Albatross” and several others that the two of you had come to love. He recalled how touched his grandmother had been—almost as much as he was—when she saw your eyes light up at her music collection. You had earned her endless affection when you complimented her taste in music and wrote down the song titles to look them up later.
Jungkook lingered on the first of the several Type O Negative tracks in your playlist, reminiscing about the countless moments when he felt your weight behind him on one of the motorcycles he’d borrowed from Sid to take you on a ride. Although you never played music on his bike, certain songs still revoked memories of your hands tightening around his waist as he accelerated, the city lights blending into a blur around you, the wind catching your hair when he helped you remove your helmet.
Now close those eyes and let me love you to death.
Sleeping with Sirens’ “All My Heart” brought back the summer when he had dyed his hair pink. That summer, the two of you travelled across the country to see Reconnaissance live for the third time. That same summer, you bought him the “JK” keychain (he’d already reattached it to the keys to his Katana). He played basketball with your little brother that summer, too, always letting him win. Actually, he would never admit this out loud, but he’d stopped holding back eventually, because your brother proved to be exceptionally—unfairly, even—skilled. Jungkook had joked and laughed, and hoped you would think he was missing his shots on purpose.
Those late summers we may stay up talking all night. I ask, “you think we’ll ever make it?”, you say, “I’m sure, if it’s right.”
Next came I See Stars’ cover of “Latch”, and Jungkook felt his smile grow wider. You fell in love with the song on your second anniversary when both of you had the flu and spent that entire week in bed in your dorm room. Technically, Jungkook had gotten sick first—but you refused to leave his side, and the two of you ended up celebrating the occasion with cough drops and swollen lymph nodes. You weren’t awake enough to watch any films that week, but you were just lucid enough to listen to music and cough rhythmically.
Now I’ve got you in my space, I won’t let go of you. Got you shackled in my embrace, I’m latching onto you.
He closed his eyes as he listened to the songs that followed, feeling himself return to the days you’d spent baking in the cramped kitchen of his dormitory, the long roads home you’d taken after class just to spend more time together, the many instruments you’d tried to learn and failed miserably.
These were the days you’d wait for him before classes with two paper cups of coffee. The days you’d send him silly selfies and threaten murder if he kept them (he kept them). The days you’d throw notes at him in the middle of your shared lectures, intentionally aiming for his head: you’d draw a heart in the middle of the paper, and nothing else. These were the days that he dreamed about, years later, when he was missing you too much to breathe.
But then, looking down as though caught in some crime, Jungkook realised that there was something else in between these memories. There were nights he’d spend drinking and drag-racing with Sid and the others. There were arguments with you and childish silent treatments. He remembered how much time he’d spent trying to find a way to make it up to you, but never actually did.
Nothing But Thieves began to play “Afterlife” on your playlist, and it reminded Jungkook of the day you went with him to get his first tattoo. He’d gone out with Sid the night before—he usually did back then—and the two of you had argued about it again. But despite the tension, you’d grabbed your bag and left for the tattoo parlour with him.
Looking back now, he realised—with a violent stab in his heart—that this might have been the last good moment in your relationship before it all fell apart around you. You had laughed and teased him that whole day, but he couldn’t forget the look on your face after he’d walked you home later. He couldn’t even touch you then because he was carrying his gym bag in his left hand, and his right one was bandaged to protect the fresh ink.
“You’ll take care of it, right?” you’d asked him outside of your dorm. “Don’t get an infection.”
“I’m not sure I’ll manage,” he’d teased. “You might have to keep an eye on me.”
And you’d smiled, but it hadn’t quite reached your eyes. You’d promised to come over and look at the tattoo for him—and you had, every day—but your voice sounded weary. He’d kissed you before leaving, and you’d kissed him back, but your lips quivered when you pulled away.
He’d seen all the signs, but he had not known what to do.
It was only ever you, it was only ever you, my baby. It feels like a lifetime, oh God, I don’t think I could do two.
Your third-anniversary song was Asking Alexandria’s “I Won’t Give In.” It was significantly less happy compared to some of the previous songs, but your third anniversary was significantly less happy, too. Jungkook had wanted to make it special for you—to make up for all the days that weren’t—so he bought tickets to a special screening of Howl’s Moving Castle at the small cinema outside of campus. He persuaded the lady at the ticket office not to sell any other tickets with a heart-wrenching story about how he was trying to save his relationship—in retrospect, he didn’t think he was lying—so it’d just be the two of you in the theatre.
He had brought you wildflowers that he’d picked himself because he only remembered the flowers halfway to your house. But he had a bruise running alongside his forearm from where he had driven the car that Sid had gifted him into the metal fence of an abandoned factory, and you understood right away what he’d been doing that whole week. You saw his bruises, saw the incessant messages lighting up his phone, and sighed, telling him that you were too tired to go out tonight.
“Maybe another time,” you’d said.
“But,” he’d tried to argue, his voice a whisper, “it’s our anniversary.”
“I know,” you’d replied, and he saw the regret in your eyes when you stopped avoiding his gaze for a second. “Maybe we could stay here instead, and—”
His phone had started to vibrate, cutting you off. He’d glanced at Sid’s name on his screen, then put his phone away.
“Sorry,” he’d said, ignoring the call. “We made plans to meet up later, but Sid can’t tell the time.”
He hadn’t even realised what he’d said—not even when you swallowed and clenched your jaw.
“You’re meeting later?” you’d asked.
“Yeah, but just for a few hour—”
“It’s okay,” you’d said. “You can go ahead and meet up now. I don’t feel like doing much today anyway.”
He had started to protest, of course. He had enough sense to understand that it wasn’t right, he couldn’t just go out with Sid on your anniversary without celebrating it with you first. But you’d closed the door in his face—gently, but the sound of the lock clicking still echoed in his head years later.
When this night returned to haunt his dreams, Jungkook always knocked on your door again. He begged and demanded you let him back inside. He stayed outside your door the whole night, waiting for you to come out.
He’d done none of that back then. He’d turned around and answered Sid’s call.
I gave you everything, I never thought we would end up like this. I gave you everything, if I can’t let you go, save me, please.
Jungkook could see now that he had reached the point in the playlist where every track worked like kerosene on his burning skin. He listened to several Bullet For My Valentine and Invent Animate songs, skipping them after the first verse, not even making it to the chorus, because he knew what the lyrics reminded him of, and he did not want to remember.
However, a Biffy Clyro song that you’d added to your playlist a few days after your break-up made him turn on his back on the bed, every muscle in his body tensed. He would listen to this one because he had to—even though he knew the lyrics by heart.
You can’t understand that I won’t leave ‘til we’re finished here, and then you’ll find out where it all went wrong.
It really did take him years to understand. You’d stayed with him through entire weeks of silence, through numerous break-up songs, and he had been too blind, too paralysed—too fucking distracted—to do anything. He’d convinced himself that if he didn’t acknowledge your troubles, the two of you would be okay. He hadn’t even bothered to think about how bad these troubles were.
You were hoping you’d be okay, too. And you stayed until it was clear that you wouldn’t be.
Your playlist changed after the two of you broke up. And, as he scrolled down a bit, Jungkook noticed a pattern. He doubted you were aware of it, but the songs seemed to progress, like a true textbook case, right through the stages of grief. And his heart sank when he realised that the first stage—Denial—had started while you were still together.
Asking Alexandria’s “Killing You” was the start of the Anger stage, and Jungkook forced himself to listen to at least half of each song, his jaw tightening with every lyric that ripped another splinter from his heart.
Three years of torment and torturous love, stained with tears and mistrust, enough is enough.
As your playlist reached the Bargaining stage, Jungkook felt the room closing in on him. Bad Omens began to sing “The Letdown” and he forced himself to sit up again. This was the song that he’d spent many sleepless nights praying to.
He listened to it now and realised that he’d never gone through Denial or Anger. You’d left him and he moved right into Bargaining, and he’d stayed there for the entirety of those four years that he wasn’t with you.
If I could make it simpler, if I could get back to the start, I would keep you even closer so that I could hear your heart.
He tried to tally up the amount of alcohol he’d consumed through those years without you, and the amount he’d consumed after you started to work with Rated Riot.
And he realised now that a subconscious part of him might have been conditioned into believing that if he drank too much—if he drank just enough for it to be too much—then Sid would call you to pick him up, and you’d come.
So he drank a lot.
There was one night in particular when his drinking nearly killed him: he’d assumed you were out on a date with someone else and he abruptly lost all purpose. Sid had called you that night—of course—and you came to pick him up—of course. Jungkook slurred through a “where were you?” that he knew he had no right to ask you, and you’d said, “I had dinner with the executives. We were discussing your band.” He couldn’t remember what happened next; he must have blacked out. He was hungover for three days straight after that—and you yelled at him every day for the next two weeks—but he felt ridiculously relieved.
Your playlist transitioned into Depression and the air around him thickened. Jungkook listened to Nothing But Thieves again, and he thought he could feel the cold, tiled floors of his bathroom under his feet—the bathroom where he’d woken up on so many afternoons, his head resting against the porcelain of the toilet, the room spinning out of control around him. It used to take him about three seconds to recognise his surroundings and remember the state that his life was in, and he would start seeking a remedy for his throbbing sobriety again.
And now it hurts what we’ve become ‘cause you taught me how to love. It’s me who taught you how to stop.
Your playlist continued and Jungkook recognised fragments of his life—both, after your break-up, and after you’ve started to work together—in every song that played next, starting from blink-182—“I feel like the moon is spinning off into outer space without you, the universe an empty place without you”—moving into Slipknot—“I still press your letters to my lips and cherish them in parts of me that savour every kiss. I couldn’t face a life without your light, but all of that was ripped apart when you refused to fight”—and finishing with Bon Jovi—“It’s been raining since you left me, now I’m drowning in the flood, you see, I’ve always been a fighter, but without you, I give up.”
These were the songs that you used to listen to together, some of them not memorable enough to leave a lasting impression, others not reflecting your feelings at the time. You didn’t add them to your playlist until after you broke up, and the lyrics started to resonate. Jungkook had listened to the same songs when he couldn’t sleep—not to cure his insomnia, but to drown out his thoughts. To have someone else narrate his memories so he wouldn’t have to listen to himself.
It dawned on him just then that you’d come full circle: from waiting a year to talk about your crushes on each other, to waiting several years to talk about all the years that you’d spent not talking to each other.
Swallowing hard, Jungkook continued. He listened to Sleep Token’s “Blood Sport”—“Even if the sky cracks in mourning and the heavens just won’t open up for me, would you invite me in again?”—and hesitated here, afraid of the next song. Here, you were still hopeful. Still bargaining. He didn’t think he was ready to find Acceptance in your playlist.
But “Patience” by Guns N’ Roses followed up next—“If I can’t have you right now, I’ll wait, dear”—and Jungkook started to fidget. He only listened to a few seconds of the song, just long enough to brace himself, and then scrolled down to the very end of your playlist.
He paused it immediately.
The final song on your playlist was “Hollow Crown” by Architects. You’ve added it eleven days before he saw you in the meeting room at Jett Records, with CJ’s arm around your shoulders as he introduced you to Jungkook as Rated Riot’s new manager.
These wounds have bled and pages fly by, the lyrics of the song went. I need to feel you right by my side.
It was truly incredible how quickly the song healed his heart, how quickly it dispelled the thick tar of dread in his stomach—because it wasn’t Acceptance that finished your playlist. It was the same otherworldly sentiment—the one you had refused to name or even acknowledge for years—that started the playlist, too.
You didn’t add any more songs after you started to work together, but you didn’t have to. Jungkook knew what happened next. And now he knew that you’d been waiting for him for as long as he’d been waiting for you.
His phone suddenly vibrated in his hand, and he jumped up, exiting the Spotify app in surprise. It was a text from you, and he stood up immediately.
You were saying you’d meet him in the lobby in half an hour, but he couldn’t sit still for that long.
He went down to wait for you.
Jungkook wasn’t in the lobby when you arrived. You saw him in the courtyard through the window, carefully balancing on the edge of the decorative circle in the stone tiles.
When he caught sight of you in his peripheral vision, he stopped and you paused in the doorway of the hotel, too. The sunbeams danced in his eyes when he turned to you, the silver piercing glinting against his lip as his smile stretched.
You were so in love with him that it shouldn’t have been possible.
He waited for approximately a quarter of a second once he saw you take a step towards him—a reaction speed that could have made Formula One drivers envious—before breaking into a sprint towards you. He met you halfway and wrapped his arms around your waist in a tight embrace that nearly knocked you both to the floor.
He held you without saying one word for an obscene amount of time. He had always struggled to describe what he was feeling, but he usually tried to find something to say anyway. Now he wasn’t trying anymore—and all of his feelings had never been louder.
“You listened to my playlist, I take it,” you said, one hand tracing the contours of his back, the other tangled in the edges of his hair.
Jungkook nodded, attempting to respond, but the wind and the roughness of your jacket against his cheek swallowed his words. So, he held onto you tighter, thinking, all the while, that the only true peace he was able to find in his life was with you. And he’d been scared for so long—terrified right out of his mind—that he would never feel this peace again. That he would never feel you again.
“Why didn’t you show it to me before?” he asked, his hesitant voice reaching you in the form of shivers on your spine.
You gave a careful shrug.
“It’s embarrassing,” you said—but your arms remained around him in the middle of the courtyard, in plain view for everyone inside the hotel to see, and it was a little hard to believe that there was anything you wouldn’t have done with him or for him, embarrassed or not.
He lifted his head to meet your gaze, a quizzical eyebrow arched on his otherwise warm features. “Loving me is embarrassing?”
You smiled, lowering your hands from his hair to the back of the silver chain around his neck.
“No,” you said. “Pining over you is.”
He observed you for a moment, trying to read your expression to gauge how your meeting went without having to ask. You weren’t saying anything, and he immediately assumed the worst.
Taking a deep breath, he stepped back, but kept his hand on your elbow to keep touching you, however faintly.
“So, how was it?” he asked. “When are you leaving?”
He had only given you one option, but he appeared to dread the thought of you confirming his fears.
“Never,” you said, a little amused by his extreme pessimism. “Can you wait that long?”
The sudden fire in his eyes suited him better than any piece of clothing or expensive jewellery ever could.
“Yeah?” he asked, returning to his spot right in front of you, his chest brushing against yours.
“Yeah,” you confirmed with a smile that he’d been looking forward to for days. “I’ve signed the new contract. The lawyers are staying here to attend your show. It looks like we’re taking over the world. Life is good.”
“Fuck yeah, life is good!” he shouted, the happiness in his voice reverberating off the buildings around you.
His relief was immense and almost impossible to contain within. You’d already promised him that you’d stay together no matter what happened today, but he wanted you here. And you were here. And now he could finally start righting his wrongs and creating new playlists with you—ones that wouldn’t hurt to listen to years later.
Before you could say anything, Jungkook sneaked his arms around your waist again and lifted you slightly off the ground—just enough to spin you around in a dizzying, ecstatic circle.
“Wait, wait, wait—” you pleaded, but your surprised laughter sent his heart straight past heaven, and he could not wait. “Th-the email. Why didn’t you tell me anything?”
He put you down but kept his hands on your waist to steady you.
“What emai—oh.” His gaze drifted past you, then dropped to the ground. “They got it, then?”
You nodded. “They got it.”
“I assume it made no difference.”
“It made a difference,” you said because that email was the only thing from that meeting that you wanted to remember. Jungkook glanced at you, but the gratitude in your eyes was so intense that he looked away again. “It could have been a huge risk. Why did you do that?”
He shrugged. It was an easy decision. No one in the band had objected when Yoongi suggested it before the last show in London. They hoped that the threat of leaving would be enough, but if it came to it, they were prepared to actually leave the label with you.
“I go where you go,” he said with a soft smile, repeating the words you’d said to him on the plane to Paris. “And my band and I are a package deal.”
You grinned, and even though the sky above you was now the colour of muddy, melted ice—a clear reminder that summer was over—you felt like you had just emerged from a dreadfully long and stressful hibernation. Your skin tingled with an almost insatiable urge to experience it all: the rain, the sunshine, and all that came in between.
“Thank you,” you said. “I want to stay with all of you.”
“Yeah?” He was close enough to touch your forehead with his, his lips curling into a smirk. “But with me the most, right?”
You took advantage of the moment when he glanced down to your lips and leaned in to kiss him—for just a second, before you pulled back to see the surprised wonder in his eyes.
“Of course,” you said. “You’ve always been my favourite.”
In an instant, Jungkook found himself back there again—somewhere in the days between Bad Omens and Biffy Clyro—dancing on the creaking floors of your dorm room, sneaking away to a random balcony during campus parties to steal a moment alone with you, and making up scenarios of what your future together would look like.
He realised that the two of you had never truly left those days; you’ve merely paused them. But the music—your music, together—continued to play.
In a split second, he pulled you as close to himself as he could, and pressed his lips to yours in a proper kiss. Your hands came to rest on his chest as you kissed him back, your taste so captivating, so completely tempting, that he lost several heartbeats on your tongue. He knew that your kiss would kill him one of these days, and he pitied everyone who would keep living.
“Oh!” you gasped suddenly, breaking the kiss and nearly causing him to flinch. He loosened his hold, alarmed. “The label—they thought we were together this whole time, by the way.”
Jungkook blinked, then frowned, then blinked a few more times—frozen for one, two, three seconds before taking a cautious step away from you.
He regarded you with scepticism for a long minute. Then his left eye twitched.
“What?” he asked.
You bit your lip, nodding at the absurdity. “I know.”
Jungkook continued to look like he had just witnessed the second coming of Christ, and it wasn’t quite what he expected.
“So, what was all of this for—”
“I don’t know,” you replied, the clutches of anxiety in your stomach finally easing. “A good song came out of it all, though.”
“A good so—yeah, and a heightened risk of a heart attack at twenty-six,” he snapped, furrowing his eyebrows again. “How do—what do you mean they thought we were—how? The whole time?”
“Yeah.”
He began to pace around you in the courtyard, his hands rising higher and higher with each attempt at a sentence. He seemed to be talking to spirits that only he could see.
“And they—and you didn’t—so we could have just—”
You nodded empathetically. “Mhmm. Seems so.”
He finally stopped and turned to you. “Am I asleep right now? Is this a joke?”
“No, they knew about it all along,” you said. “Actually, it gets worse. It seems that CJ might have hired me for Rated Riot precisely because we had dated.”
Jungkook widened his eyes for only a moment, still appearing a little perplexed, but no longer outraged. He turned away, lost in thought all of a sudden, and poked a loose tile with the edge of his boot.
“What’s—what are you thinking?” you asked, a little concerned about his abrupt silence.
“I—nothing. I’m just—that reminded me of something,” he replied, sliding his hands into the front pockets of his jeans. “After we signed with Jett Records, there was this, I don’t know, weird moment. We came in for our first formal meeting with CJ, and he kept staring at me. The band had jokingly told him that I was the lead songwriter—which I’m definitely not—so I assumed that was the reason. And then, as we were leaving the room, he shook my hand for a whole minute and said, “I have incredible things planned for you. Let’s make that “Haunting” Part Two happen, yeah?” I didn’t think much of it at the time, but it—I don’t know.”
You didn’t like how quickly Jungkook offered a story that supported everything that Reggie and Duke had told you earlier today, and you frowned, struggling to grasp the multitude of thoughts and questions in your mind.
“That was—“Haunting” was the first Rated Riot song that CJ heard,” Jungkook added.
Although he’d written this song to be as inconspicuous as possible, he never tried to hide that it was about you—if people asked. And CJ had asked.
Jungkook had been vague that time, claiming it was about “someone important” to him, but perhaps CJ got more curious about the meaning of the song than he’d initially let on. Perhaps he’d done additional research.
“It’s the song that made him want to meet the band,” Jungkook continued. “H-he could have—if he knew about us, and he knew that I wrote “Haunting” about you, then he might have hired you for me to—so that you and I—”
“He hired me to give you a jolt,” you finished, “hoping it would inspire you to write songs that would bring the label as much money as he thought “Haunting” would have brought.”
Jungkook let out a breath. “Yeah. That—that’s kind of fucked up.”
You nodded. That was the regular way to describe this situation – “fucked up.” But you’ve learnt today that, in business, they called it “profitable.”
Although a lot of your previous anxiety was now replaced with irritation, your relief still lingered. CJ’s plotting had caught you off guard, but ultimately, you were right where you wanted to be, and nothing could change that.
“I had some questions about why they contacted me four—five?—months before you even released your debut album,” you said, “but I—well, you know. I was just happy to stop fillng spreadsheets and do some actual work. Even if it meant driving you to the studio every morning, and back home every night. Did you—did you even add any new songs or make any changes to the album after I started to work with you? You said you had most of it done by that point anyway.”
Jungkook swallowed and did not respond.
You were right, the album was mostly finished when CJ offered you to work with Rated Riot that July, but Jungkook wrote eight new songs in the first week of working with you. Three of them made it to the final cut of the album.
“Shit,” you said, his silence a good enough answer. Half-joking to counter your discomfort, you added, “so, it wasn’t destiny, then. It was CJ.”
Jungkook snorted humourlessly. “Yeah. What a waste of fucking time, though. All the fucking—all this time we worried. And we could have just—wow. We could have just fucking been together.”
That was true, you would have saved a lot of energy if you didn’t have to worry about telling the label about your relationship. But you weren’t sure that it would have helped you stop ignoring each other and yourselves.
If you hadn’t received the trial by fire on this tour, if all your fears and insecurities hadn’t been exposed, you and Jungkook likely wouldn’t have ended up here.
“Yeah, this is…” you faltered, searching for the right word. “This is some heavy shit to process right now, but—I mean, we’re fine. We’re okay. You know? We made it this fucking far.”
The courtyard was empty except for a few pigeons pecking at the dark rocks of a flower garden nearby. Jungkook counted the pavement tiles beneath your sneakers before looking up.
“I’m still having a crisis,” he decided.
You laughed—in a way that he didn’t think he’d ever hear you laugh again, and it sounded like a promise to him. A reassurance that things wouldn’t have to go back to the way they once were, because they were better now. In spite of everything, you were better now.
You took his hand and stepped around him towards the street. “Come on. We’ll be fine. Let’s get something to eat.”
“No, but—we wasted so much time!” he protested, but followed you down the courtyard anyway. It was a reflex more than a conscious effort: you went, and he followed. He was far from being embarrassed about others knowing how completely in love with you—whipped, they would have said—he was.
“We didn’t,” you said. “We still have plenty of time.”
“Not unless I drop dead right now,” he mumbled, stubborn.
“I’d prefer it if you didn’t,” you returned. “I quite enjoy having you alive.”
You felt a tug on your hand when Jungkook suddenly stopped walking. Despite your raised eyebrows, he held your hand and simply watched you for a minute, not explaining his thoughts.
“Do you remember,” he said then, “when we were in Amsterdam, and I asked if you thought we’d ever be here?”
You nodded, not yet following his train of thought.
“What about this?” he asked.
“Paris?”
“No.” He shook his head. “Us. Did you ever imagine we’d still be together, seven years after we met? Did you imagine that some old guy would start an entertainment company, and seek us both out, one after the other, so we could work together and make him money?”
You smiled wryly at the quick—and very accurate—summary. But there wasn’t much to think about here, not really. There was a reason you held onto this relationship for so long that first time, even after it became clear that it was coming to an end.
“I didn’t expect the old guy,” you said. “But I did imagine us together.”
“Despite everything that happened,” he continued, “and every wrong decision that we made over those years?”
You swallowed, finding everything that he’d heard in your playlist reflected in his question. You understood why he needed to ask, but you had no doubts about your answer.
There were times, years before you met him, when you’d feel an abrupt longing—so intense that it would lock you in bed, squirming desperately as you tried to shake yourself out of it. There was no apparent reason for it, no action on your part that could have explained the oppressive heartache that felt a lot like forceful separation from something crucial for your survival. Your heart screamed for it back.
You thought you were in love with him before you even met him.
“Everything that happened still led us here,” you said slowly—unaware that Jungkook was holding his breath as he waited for your answer. “Every time we messed up, every time something went wrong, we were on the way here. And—I mean, I don’t know. I think we would have ended up here one way or another. Actually, it might have taken us longer to get here if everything that backfired on us hadn’t backfired. You know what I mean? We’re a mess.”
His grip on your hand tightened as he watched the smile on your face. He remembered this—you telling him what a mess the two of you were when he kissed you outside of the hotel on your first night in London, right after you’d decided to be friends.
“Do you really think that,” he asked, “or are you just saying it so I don’t have a heart attack?”
You squeezed his hand back.
“I do really think that,” you said. “But also, please don’t have a heart attack.”
Finally allowing himself to breathe, he took a step closer to you. He lifted his hand—the one holding yours—to his chest, and leaned in to kiss you. You could feel his heartbeat under your fingertips when your lips touched, the warmth of his hands melding into yours.
“I love you,” he said, slowly pulling back.
“I love you,” you replied and leaned in to touch his lips with yours again.
Hearing these words over and over again—and feeling you draw him closer to prolong the kiss over and over again, too—seemed like a prospect so delightful that he feared it was a little manic. He was convinced there were fairy lights beneath his skin and fireworks in his chest.
He kissed you fervently, but quickly. A moment later, he was already pulling away and leading you towards the pedestrian crossing.
“Let’s get coffee,” he said in response to the disappointment in your eyes.
“Wait,” you resisted his pull, attempting to slow down his brisk pace, “what’s the rush now?”
“The label thought we were together for two years,” he explained, his grip firm as he paused at the busy street, waited for the light to change, then guided you across it. “We have so much to do to make up for lost time.”
You stepped over the curb but still struggled to catch up as he careened down the street. “And you plan to do all that in one day? Starting from this?”
“This is not even the beginning of what I plan to do,” he replied, winking at you over his shoulder. “If you know what I—”
“If you finish that sentence,” you warned, “we’re going to have our first fight as a couple.”
“Oh, so many new firsts to experience.” He sighed wistfully. Your eyebrows remained comfortably raised as you listened to the reminiscent tone in his voice. “Do you remember our actual first fight as a couple?”
“No,” you replied. “We had so many.”
“Right, but the very first one?” he prodded, finally slowing down so you could match his pace. “I broke your window. You threw a potted plant at me.”
You gasped in protest. You remembered the broken window: it was the result of a three-night drinking binge that he went on without you, only to make a dramatic return through your fire escape, smashing the glass of your window with his elbow. It was an accident, he’d meant to open it the regular way, but he figured this would work, too.
“I did no such thing,” you said.
“You did!” he argued, amused by your selective memory. He was drunk that night, but he remembered the flying pot—and what remained of it after it hit the wall behind him. “It was an Aloe, I think.”
“I’d never throw a plant at you,” you insisted. “I love my plants.”
He looked at you, offended. “Okay. Hello? I’m your boyfriend.”
“I know,” you said, your lips curving into a smile. “Somehow, you require a lot more maintenance than plants.”
“Ah, now I see your point,” he said, turning back to face the street ahead, “we really are about to have our first fight as a couple.”
You chuckled and tugged on his hand to indicate the signboard of a café in the building on your right. “Coffee first?”
“Oh, yeah.” He took a step back to return to your side and kissed your cheek. “Definitely.”
You managed to organise a quick meeting before the show that night to officially announce your promotion and all that it meant for the band. You didn’t get to mention the new opening act, however, because the members erupted into deafening cheers.
Their follow-up reactions—after you brought up the email they had sent to the label—seemed almost comical. All four of them stopped shouting as if on cue and glanced around the room, avoiding your eye and desperately feigning nonchalance.
“We—we’re family,” Yoongi finally said. He struggled to mask his discomfort at your gratitude the most, because you looked at him the most—he was the one who had suggested the email. “One for all, and all for one. Or whatever.”
You nodded with a grin. “Or whatever.”
Hoseok was the first to extend his hand, and the rest of the band followed, stacking their hands on top of each other. You placed yours on Jungkook’s, and with a loud battle cry—an anthem for the band, at this point—all five of you broke apart. The boys hurried out of the room to escape any more sentimental conversations and to get ready for the show.
The first concert in Paris was a dizzying spectacle of flashing lights and intoxicating sounds. You were a little astounded at how Rated Riot still managed to captivate you as if every night was your first time watching them live.
However, for the first time since the start of this tour—it was a miracle this hadn’t happened before, actually—two people in the audience fainted.
You had to run backstage to speak with the venue staff and demand air conditioning, then climb up to the side of the stage to warn the band to control the pit. It was the rhythm section intermission—where Taehyung and Hoseok engaged the audience with sounds that were nearly hallucinogenic—and the barricade was shaking.
You attempted to get Yoongi’s attention because he was the closest to you. But it was Jungkook who noticed you first, climbing off Hoseok’s podium and jogging over to you. You gave him a quick update on the situation and asked him to keep an eye on the crowds. This wasn’t the first time the show got a little too hot, and there were enough paramedics available for first aid, but you still wanted to prevent future accidents.
Jungkook nodded, then turned back to the stage—but stopped, suddenly, as though realising something. You barely managed to part your lips in confusion when he walked back to you in three determined strides, gently lifted your chin and pulled you in for a quick kiss. Then, just as swiftly, he returned to the front of the stage to thundering screams from the audience.
Stunned, you watched Jungkook fall to his knees in dramatic support of the band’s instrumental break. He raised his head to look at you, very proud to be able to do something that caused the dazed look in your eyes, and it took you another minute to force yourself to turn around and return backstage.
Fortunately, by the time the show ended, everyone was alive and well.
You were late to the gathering backstage because you had stayed behind to listen to Seokjin yell—he claimed it was a “peaceful lecture”—at the venue staff about cutting off the air conditioning in the middle of the show. You had to gently coax him to let it go when the local stagehands began to respond to him in aggressive French.
Upon returning to the waiting area, you both noticed that Rated Riot’s dressing room was eerily quiet. Naturally, you started to worry that someone in the band had killed each other. But once you two peered through the gap in the door, you discovered something worse: Hoseok was standing on the table, tapping his lighter against the rim of his glass to get everyone’s attention. He was about to make a toast.
“For those of you who don’t know,” he began as you entered the room, “our manager just got promoted. She’s still our manager, but she’s cooler now. She’s Head Manager.”
Your hopes of finding a drink before you started to feel embarrassed were dashed as the room broke into applause, Namjoon and Jimin leading the way with unnecessary whistling. Cringing into yourself, you nodded in uncomfortable gratitude and made your way to the bottles of beer on the windowsill across the room.
“Our team is expanding,” Yoongi took over then, but he did not join Hoseok on the table, “which naturally, means we’re growing, too. That’s nice and all, but I really hope we can keep fucking drinking like this after every show, even after we sell out Wembley.”
“Wembley next year!” Hoseok cheered, and the rest of the room joined in, raising their glasses. “Here’s to getting drunk every night no matter where the fuck we are!”
It was a loud affair once the band set their contagious excitement loose, but you enjoyed watching their never-ending energy spread to the rest of the room.
“Congratulations,” someone suddenly said from behind you.
It took you a moment to realise that someone had spoken over the noise in the room, and the person touched your shoulder just as you were turning around.
Despite your discomfort with the unexpected attention, you were very happy to see Namjoon. He was beaming proudly as if he was the one who had been promoted tonight, and you extended your hands for a quick hug.
He laughed, patting your back and whispering a soft, “you deserved this.”
“Thank you,” you said, pulling back. “The meeting didn’t go the way I expected, but, uh, all’s well that ends well.”
He nodded, a little dejected. You’d texted him a quick summary of your meeting right after it ended. This time, even Namjoon was surprised about CJ’s ulterior motives.
And he worried, just a little bit, how you would react. He remembered how disappointed you were when you assumed that the offer from Reconnaissance was what prompted CJ to promote you. It had taken you a while to accept that it was your efforts, and not Nick’s call, that had brought you here.
Namjoon knew that there was not much that he could say to convince you of your worth if you focused too much on CJ’s primary reasons for hiring you for the band. It very simply had nothing to do with your skills—but you’ve turned it all around, and every ball that CJ thought he’d hoarded was now in your court.
“Yeah, I’m very excited that you’re staying here,” he said, “but I, um—I’ll admit I don’t know how I feel about CJ exploiting your relationship like that.”
You pursed your lips. You haven’t decided how you felt about that, either. But likely for the first time in your life, you felt too excited for all that was coming to dwell on all that had already happened.
“It was a far stretch, though, wasn’t it?” you said, surprising him with your light tone. “I wonder what he would have done if Jungkook and I had killed each other. Or if every song he wrote was about Sid instead, for example.”
Namjoon smiled, but shook his head. He didn’t think it was a far stretch. He’d encouraged Jungkook to write about real experiences, too, and he was the silent partner on “Haunting.” He’d always known what the song was about.
“It worked out, though,” he said, because you were joking, but he could see the look in your eyes. Being used like this did not feel good. “I mean, for you. Probably not so much for CJ, since you bullied him into giving the band 50% of their last album sales revenue. And then you proved so indispensable that he had to promote you, to stop you from leaving to work with a bigger band.”
You turned away. “I didn’t bully him.”
He grinned, remembering the chaos at the executive meeting after CJ announced the changes in Rated Riot’s royalties. The CEO was on the verge of suggesting that you had a gun pointed to his head to explain why the band’s percentage had doubled.
“I recall there being threats,” Namjoon said.
“Well,” you tsked, “he deserved those. If he only hired me to provoke Jungkook, then he doesn’t deserve the full profit of anything Jungkook creates.”
Namjoon appeared even prouder now, his dimples prominent on his cheeks.
“I agree,” he said. “And you made sure that the label can’t afford to lose you. That sounds like a pretty cool payback for CJ’s questionable decisions.”
You glanced at him, then at the carpeted floors underneath your shoes.
Regardless of how you joined Rated Riot, you and the band have come so far. You’ve endured all that the industry had thrown at you. It shouldn’t have been surprising that the members loved you as much as you loved them, but their support today still felt breathtaking.
It was them, more than anyone, who had made sure that the label couldn’t afford to lose you.
“Did you hear about the email the band sent today?” you asked Namjoon.
“I did,” he confirmed, his grin growing wider still. “They picked up that tactic from you, I think.”
You shook your head, but a small smile had made it to your lips. “No. I think I’m the one who’s learning from them. And from you.”
“Either way,” he said, ignoring the appreciation in your voice and placing a reassuring hand on your shoulder. “You’re all doing great.”
You finally met his warm gaze and nodded. You weren’t going to fight him on this anymore; you knew that Rated Riot had worked hard to get to this point, and you had, too.
Namjoon was thrilled to see this determination in your eyes. You and Rated Riot together were a force to be reckoned with, and he was happy you’ve finally allowed yourself to accept that.
“Thank you,” you said. “Wembley next year, and the rest of the world the year after that, right?”
“Oh.” He laughed and gestured somewhere in the direction of the window, where the collection of alcohol was. “I’ll drink to that.”
A few minutes later, after the Jameson bottles—a kind gift from the promoters—had been emptied, the room seemed to ignite. The people around you began to move much more easily while the music that Seokjin had chosen played in the background, an interesting mix ranging from Kid Cudi’s classics to Coldplay’s latest album.
You and the Rated Riot members found yourselves in a haphazard circle in the centre of the room, each with a new bottle in hand.
“Nick mentioned that some Reconnaissance members are interested in seeing you play,” you told the band. “So now I’m trying to get them in, even though all your upcoming gigs are not just sold out, but already over capacity. That’s a problem I didn’t think we’d have so soo—”
“Hold on, hold on,” Yoongi interjected, holding up his hands and the already-empty bottle of beer. “Reconnaissance want to see us?”
“Yeah,” you confirmed, watching the members exchange glances, their eyes gleaming all of a sudden—another source of light in the room. “I called Nick to decline his offer and update him on everything, and he said—”
“Wait, wait, wait, wait,” Yoongi interrupted again, placing a confused palm over your hand, “so not only did Reconnaissance miss out on the best manager in the industry, but now they want to see us play?”
You caught a glimpse of Jungkook’s grin out of the corner of your eye. He took a quick swig of his Heineken to hide it.
“Well,” you said, still not drunk enough to accept praise without overwhelming discomfort, “if-if that’s how you want to—but yeah. They are coming to see you.”
Yoongi looked simply dumbfounded: his mouth was open, the corners of his lips upturned, his eyes squinting. It was a beautiful sight. You met Luna’s gaze behind Taehyung, and she, too, was beaming as she joined your circle.
For a long time, the members of Rated Riot had measured their success against Reconnaissance at their age, and they had always felt behind. And despite the extended tour, despite moving onto bigger venues, now was the first time when they felt like they were catching up.
“I can’t believe this,” Hoseok said, the exhilaration in his voice prompting the other boys to start high-fiving and exclaiming passionate ‘hell yeah’s.
“Well, so, what—uh, what’s the consensus?” Yoongi asked, snapping out of his daze. “Do we fucking rock or what?”
“Well, I don’t know!” Hoseok played along, the pitch of his passionate voice rising. “Let me check the latest data,” he paused dramatically for two seconds, “alright, the numbers are in. We fucking rock!”
Loud cries followed as the band broke into excited laps around the room. Seokjin, Namjoon, and Jimin—clearly entertained by whatever ritual they’d assumed the band had just held—joined in by attaching themselves to various members: Seokjin picked Jungkook, nearly choking him with an iron grip around his shoulders, while Namjoon and Jimin flocked to Hoseok. Yoongi was already huddled between Taehyung and Luna, repeatedly high-fiving them both.
You were right to feel anxious about telling them about Reconnaissance because the sudden burst of their already intense energy was a little dangerous. Even Yoongi—who was usually as lively as a well-trained turtle—was spinning in the middle of the room. He smacked into you as he whirled, already dizzy, and you grabbed his arm to help him regain his balance.
“I can tell,” you said, chuckling as Yoongi ran a hand through his hair and returned, swaying his drunken hips, to his spot next to Taehyung, “that the rest of this tour is going to be even more exciting.”
“I’m actually not sure if that’s even possible anymore,” Taehyung said, grinning as Yoongi leaned into his side to catch his breath. “After everything that’s already happened.”
He was alluding to more than just the positive excitement of the night—and Jungkook tensed as he made his way to your side—but you pointed your beer bottle at him, disagreeing.
“To be honest, we’re not doing too bad this time around,” you said, moving closer to Jungkook to make room for Maggie and Minjun in your circle. “Last time you guys were on tour, Jungkook got a concussion and dislocated his shoulder.”
Jungkook raised his eyebrows, caught off guard by the sudden attack.
“There was also,” Yoongi said, still breathing heavily, “the dancing incident in New York.”
The rest of the band chuckled—still holding their laughter back—while Jungkook groaned loudly enough for the people outside the room to hear.
“And Taehyung left the tour for a short while,” Hoseok added. “It was a new mess every day.”
You noticed Taehyung’s gaze drop. Luna had mentioned their brief breakup to you before, so you knew why Taehyung had suddenly left that time.
“Jimin got airsick one time, remember?” you offered your own addition to divert the topic. “So, you guys performed without functioning in-ears. Was that in Boston? You—”
“Oh my God, yes,” Maggie joined in, gripping your forearm in her excitement at the memory. “All the photos I took at that show were worthless. They were all staring at the ground the whole time as if that would help them hear better.”
Laughter filled the room as Jimin grumbled about leaving the band instructions for their in-ear monitors—which they cheerily failed to follow without Jimin guiding them every step of the way.
“Oh, and we lost Namjoon once, too!” Hoseok said, laughing even before he finished the sentence.
All eyes turned to the producer, but before Namjoon could offer an explanation, Seokjin scoffed indignantly.
“He was the one who lost us,” he declared. He had been responsible for looking after a drunk Namjoon that night in San Francisco, and he would never admit how poorly he handled that very simple task. “I looked away for one second, and he was gone.”
“He’s like a little kid when he’s really drunk,” Yoongi reminded him. “You should have known that.”
Seokjin rolled his eyes.
“You found him passed out,” you said, remembering the frantic phone call you’d received at three in the morning, “on top of the slide at some nearby playground, didn’t you?”
“Yeah,” Seokjin said, sending the band into a screeching fit of laughter. “I called his name, he opened one eye, and his body just slid down the slide. Fucking comical, and he’s not even trying to be funny.”
You snickered when Hoseok smacked Namjoon on the chest, holding onto his shoulders for support as his knees wobbled from laughter.
“Alright, then, how about the time we thought Yoongi’s guitar was malfunctioning during one of the shows,” Namjoon said, eager to deflect before the tips of his ears turned any redder, “but it turned out that he actually forgot to plug it in? No one even noticed it until the third song on the setlist.”
Maggie had already begun to wheeze when Luna interjected, “wait—wasn’t the third song, technically, Hobi’s drum solo?”
Hoseok looked very impressed that she remembered, and she gave him a smile and a nod. His drum solo used to be one of her favourite parts of the early Rated Riot shows.
“Yeah,” Yoongi said, snorting. He was no longer bothered by the incident. “I strummed a few chords backstage, and it made no fucking sound.” He suddenly glared at Seokjin. “You convinced Jimin to put me in time-out for not plugging it in.”
“You know very well you deserved that,” Seokjin returned, finishing his drink.
You joined in the laughter. Seokjin and Jimin had relaxed some of their strict policies this time around, because they discovered that the tour couldn’t function if three-quarters of the band were standing in different corners of the venue, waiting to be taken out of time-out before they were supposed to go on stage.
“What about Hoseok personally buying everyone drinks after each show?” Jungkook suggested. “He practically spent half our earnings in random bars.”
Agreeing nods and murmurs followed, and Hoseok merely shrugged, not denying the accusation.
“And what about you finishing most of the drinks that Hoseok bought?” Minjun bit, grinning at Jungkook.
Minjun, unlike Sid and Jude, had actually been invited to join the band for drinks sometimes—although, by the end of the night, he was usually forced to babysit Jungkook.
“What about it?” Jungkook shot back. “I can hold my liquor.”
Jimin blew the air out through his mouth, almost spitting as he half-wheezed, half-scoffed.
“You literally cannot,” he said. “Remember that time in Chicago when you, me, and Seokjin spent hours searching for a public bathroom after you finished five bottles of—”
“I told you I could have used the one that was closed!” Jungkook interrupted before Jimin could finish.
“It wasn’t closed. It was chained,” Jimin retorted. “Did you want to get arrested for trespassing and public urination?”
Jungkook rolled his eyes. “Who says I would have gotten arrested?”
“Are you kidding?” Seokjin chimed in. “You were shouting the lyrics to Billy Idol’s “Rebel Yell” as you rattled the chains.”
“That doesn’t—”
“In the midnight hour,” Seokjin demonstrated, shouting over the noise in the room and vigorously shaking his hands, “she cried more, more, more.”
Everyone was laughing so passionately at this point that it was impossible to hear the music in the room.
“Fine, fine,” Jungkook muttered, shuffling on his feet and moving partially behind you—his refuge from the teasing. “I get it.”
You didn’t know about this particular incident, but you remembered feeling relieved whenever Jungkook would leave the venue with the band members or someone from the staff, rather than his friends.
Sid had been omnipresent during the band’s first tour; he’d stayed even when Minjun and Jude had to return home. And during the only week that Sid wasn’t here, you’d had one of the most meaningful conversations with Jungkook—and certainly the longest—since your breakup.
It had been in Los Angeles, were Rated Riot were set to perform three shows that week. One night, you had found him alone, seated on one of the road cases outside the concert hall, a bottle of beer in his hand. You’d called his name, and he looked up at you with a gaze so familiar that you seemed to forget about all the months you had spent avoiding direct conversation with each other.
You’d been looking for him that night because you suspected that something was wrong—you didn’t know about his grandmother yet, but it was her condition that bothered him the most in those days.
“I’m fine,” he’d said after you asked him what was going on. “Just tired.”
So, you sat beside him on the road case, grabbed his bottle, and took a long swig. And he had watched you, completely mesmerised, just as he was watching you now.
That night, as you handed the bottle back to him, you’d asked him about his goals and what he wanted to achieve with the band.
“The whole world,” he had replied. And you’d smiled, making him smile, too. Your reaction convinced him that reaching the whole world was a completely feasible goal.
He hadn’t dared to ask why you’d agreed to work with Rated Riot, although you’d expected him to. Instead, he asked about your family, evading questions about his own. He asked how you’d met Luna, where you’d gotten the scar on your knee. He tried—you could see it now—to fill in the gaps of all the years you’d been out of touch.
And you remembered struggling to fall asleep that night in Los Angeles after you and Jungkook returned to the tour bus—because you’d finished that bottle of beer together. Because he’d given you his jacket as you walked back to the bus, even though it wasn’t very cold and the bus wasn’t parked very far. Because your hands had brushed as you walked side-by-side. Because he’d offered you a cigarette and you had declined, and your heart had started to hurt for seemingly no reason.
A year later, you raised your head, bringing your thoughts back to the present moment in the dark red dressing room of Cabaret Sauvage in Paris, where your family was laughing around you and your heart was beating next to you.
You turned to look at Jungkook and met his smiling gaze. He still stood behind you and, quietly, while everyone else continued their conversation, he lifted your linked hands to his lips and pressed a soft kiss on your knuckles.
“I remember when Taehyung had the flu, too,” Hoseok said, returning your attention to the group as they burst into shouts of agreement again. Jungkook wrapped an arm around your waist, bringing your back to his chest, and took another sip from his bottle.
“When he started to walk in his sleep?” Luna asked—she’d taken the brunt of that time her boyfriend was sick and refused to stay in bed. Everyone else was very grateful they didn’t have to handle his fevered tantrums.
“Yeah—he scared the shit out of me,” Yoongi recalled, shaking his head. “It was like four in the morning, I looked up from my bunk, and he was just standing there, staring right at me. I went, ‘what the fuck?’ and he just said, ‘the pipes broke’, then turned around and walked away.”
Amidst the laughter of the group, Jimin wheezed, “what pipes?”
Taehyung clicked his tongue and shook his head.
“I had a fever,” he said. “And it was nowhere near as bad or annoying as Jin actually stealing all of our socks from the bus back in Atlanta.”
Seokjin was opening his next beer bottle and did not feel fazed by the attention at all.
“You stole their socks?” Maggie voiced the question of the group.
“Now, listen,” Seokjin said, his tone relaxed, if only a little annoyed to be bothered about this. “We had a deal. I told the guys to stop after one encore, but they went on to play three. I need to sleep, you know. Can’t stay up dismantling the stage until six in the morning every night.”
You closed your eyes and leaned back into Jungkook’s embrace, calm and unreasonably content as he gently rocked side-to-side, both of his arms around you.
“Okay, I guess that makes sense,” Maggie replied. “But why socks?”
“I thought it’d be the biggest nuisance,” Seokjin explained simply. You smiled. The band members had come to you back then, complaining about someone messing with their belongings, and you had to buy socks in bulk until Seokjin returned them. “I was going to go for underwear, but I know that some of you don’t mind not wearing any, so socks seemed like a safer option.”
You opened your eyes to catch Seokjin giving Jungkook a meaningful glance over your head.
“I—” Jungkook began, but did not get much further than that.
“What?” Namjoon asked with a groan. You turned to see his nose wrinkled in blatant disgust. “Please tell me you’re all wearing underwear under your stage outfits right now.”
Yoongi, Taehyung, and Hoseok all shrugged and gave nods with varying degrees of conviction. Jungkook, meanwhile, snorted indignantly.
“No,” he said. “I prefer to wear mine over my stage outfit.”
Namjoon rolled his eyes at the unnecessary wit, but Seokjin was quick to down his beer and begin sparring.
“Is that your new costume?” he taunted. “Would fit well with the pirate eye patch.”
Jungkook inhaled sharply. “We do not speak of the eye patch.”
“Aye, sir,” Seokjin replied, grinning as he exaggerated his Rs. “We wor-rrr-ship the eye patch.”
Jimin’s laughter erupted in hiccupping waves that sounded oddly like a screeching cat in heat, and it was unnaturally infectious. He turned away to catch his breath, but you and Maggie had already succumbed to fits of giggles.
Jungkook, irked that this amused you so much, tightened his grip on your waist. You craned your neck to look at him upside down, traces of laughter still evident in your expression, and he placed a quick kiss on your forehead before turning back to his friends. You lowered your head, flustered by his abrupt affection—and Jungkook felt very happy again.
“No, no,” Namjoon was saying in between waves of laughter, “what we really worship is the mythical ramen Taehyung had promised to make us for dinner every night, but I’ve only tried it once so far. What’s that about? Did you think we would forget?”
Taehyung straightened and looked at Luna for help. She only smiled and shrugged, knowing better than to interfere with the band and their food.
“I never said I’d make it every night,” he replied, although somewhere at the back of his mind he vaguely recalled promising this very thing.
“You lost the bet,” Seokjin reminded him, “so you have no choice. You owe us five pots at this point, probably.”
You raised your eyebrows, but Luna beat you to the question. “There was a bet?”
“Of course,” Seokjin said, pausing to take another swig from his bottle. “There usually is.”
“What did you bet on?” she asked.
“This was in Oslo. All three of you,” he gestured towards you, Maggie, and Luna, “had gone out. We bet that Taehyung couldn’t go one hour without texting his girlfriend.”
You grinned while Yoongi gave Taehyung a comforting pat on the back. Jimin finally turned back around to face the group, and even Minjun had to bite back his laughter at the sight of Jimin’s wet eyes, tears of laughter still visible on his cheeks.
“I lasted ten and a half minutes,” Taehyung gloated—as though this was the best he could do, and this record was already so incredibly impressive that he wouldn’t even attempt beating it. Luna kissed his cheek, further encouraging his smugness.
“Ten and twenty-five,” Jimin, who had kept the time, corrected him, rubbing his fingers over his eyelids. “You were terrible. Complained the whole time.”
Taehyung grimaced but resisted the urge to stick out his tongue. “I’m nowhere near as bad as Jungkook, though.”
Jungkook blinked, caught by surprise again.
“What?” he asked, growing defensive once he understood the accusation. “I would have easily lasted an hour without texting my girlfriend.”
Just as you lowered your gaze to control your expression—you’d known Jungkook for seven years; surely, you would stop shivering at the sound of your relationship status some time soon—Hoseok reached over to press a hand on Jungkook’s shoulder.
“My friend,” he said, bowing his head, “you wouldn’t have lasted two minutes.”
The group launched into a series of examples to support Hoseok’s claim—with Minjun taking the lead, of course—and Jungkook couldn’t keep up with the barrage of playful accusations. They were correct, each and every one of them, but he still felt the need to explain himself.
“Alright, come on, leave him be,” you ended up interjecting, your tone light. You reached up, blindly finding Jungkook’s face behind you and gently patting his cheek. “We’re all very dependent on each other here anyway.”
Jungkook closed his eyes to focus on your touch. He felt pride first and foremost, but he also felt stunned that you’d defend him so openly: you were surrounded by your closest friends here, that was true, but they were also your co-workers. Yet you stood up for him and leaned into his embrace as the cheerful conversation continued around you.
He thought he’d finally done it. He reached the goal he’d once told you about – he had the whole world right here.
“You know, speaking of you two,” Seokjin said, swivelling to face you. “I know you drank my champagne in Amsterdam.”
Surprised, you pulled back from Jungkook and instinctively glanced at Hoseok—who had dragged Minjun away to help him bring the group more drinks.
“That was Hobi’s,” you said, remembering Hoseok’s party and the puddle of champagne on the bathroom floor—immortalised in Rated Riot’s upcoming single—after you and Jungkook discovered the hidden bottles and decided to have some.
“Please.” Seokjin scoffed. “You think he would hoard champagne? It was mine. And you two—”
“We only drank one bottle,” Jungkook interrupted, preemptively stopping you from denying the whole incident.
“Only on—you drank at least two,” Seokjin said, his unsteady legs wobbling slightly. You wondered how many bottles of beer he’d finished tonight—the extraordinary focus he was paying to enunciate every word indicated double digits. “That was my special champagne.”
He seemed to believe he was merely tipsy as he continued to watch the two of you with a look that he must have assumed was stern. Really, it was cloudy and obviously out of focus.
“What makes it special?” Jungkook asked.
“It was mine,” Seokjin replied, banging his palm against his chest a few times. You waited for him to elaborate on what he would have done with six bottles of champagne all by himself, but he decided he’d said enough.
“We’ll pay off the debt,” you offered. “Two bottles?”
“Two,” he confirmed, then cleared his throat. “But since I’ve had to wait so long for you to admit your wrongdoings, I’ve suffered emotional damage, too.”
“Ah, emotional damage, of course,” you repeated, exchanging a smile with Jungkook. Even drunk, Seokjin was an expert negotiator. “Two and a half, then?”
He pretended to consider it. Everyone else in the room had started a conversation about Yoongi’s sleeping habits—particularly how he stayed awake for three days straight and then slept for a whole week—and it distracted him for a second.
“Three,” Seokjin finally decided, “and we’ll call it even.”
“Alright, three bottles,” you agreed, turning to Jungkook again. He gave you a nod and unfastened himself from you, taking your hand instead.
“We’ll go out to get them right now,” Jungkook said, leading you to the door of the dressing room.
Seokjin seemed surprised when you gave him a quick wave.
“No, you—” he began, then hiccupped and shook his head at the interruption, “—you don’t have to go now.”
“But we must,” you said, pouting your lips very empathetically. “Can’t let you suffer because of what we’d done any longer.”
Seokjin looked as if he wanted to respond, but his intoxicated mind was too sluggish. Still, you saw the hint of a grin tugging at his lips as the door of the room closed behind you; Seokjin knew exactly why you were so eager to leave. It was how you’d found his champagne back in Amsterdam: the two of you would take any and every opportunity to be alone together.
And so, you and Jungkook found yourselves alone on the dark streets of Paris, walking around the park that surrounded the venue, supposedly on a mission to find three bottles of champagne.
It became apparent rather quickly that you’d have to walk quite a distance from the venue to find a shop that was still open. You did not mind that.
Jungkook glanced up as he walked, and you followed his gaze to the sky. In the quiet corners of the cobblestone alleys, right between the streetlights, you could see the stars.
You’d seen these stars before, almost a month ago, when you went to Kihyun and Chloé’s wedding. You’d taken a detour because Jungkook wanted to show you the Champs-Élysées, and you remembered that night in explicit detail: the way the curls in his hair had looked, damp from the rain. The way his eyes had sparkled with an innate, undying excitement, playfully reflecting every street light around you. You remembered the feel of his hands when he instinctively touched you to guide you across the street. You remembered the scent of his cologne as he gestured wildly, recounting the stories about Paris that his grandmother had read to him when he was younger. His voice had sounded wistful, yearning.
The stars had looked beautiful back then—they had to. Really, you didn’t have many chances to look up at them. Jungkook had been right beside you, smiling, with gentle creases of delight by his eyes, and you didn’t even consider looking away.
The sky glittered with the same lights now, a never changing, constant presence over you. And again, you lowered your eyes to watch the reflection of the stars in his eyes instead. The night sky was no longer your favourite thing in the world.
“I think,” Jungkook said, “this is what my grandma meant when she said that she’s always wanted to visit Paris.”
You looked at the street ahead of you. It was hidden from the main paths of the park by dark, menacing buildings, and it looked like just about any other street in the world.
“What do you mean?” you asked.
“She wanted this,” he explained, raising your intertwined hands. “What we have right now. Strolling through these back alleys, forcing every streetlight to flicker and every gust of wind to change direction.”
You felt everything he’d mentioned in your chest—the silence of the alleys, the flickers of the lights, the gusts of the shifting wind—and you held his hand tighter.
“What does Paris have to do with this?” you asked.
“Nothing,” he said. “It doesn’t have to do anything, it’s just there for us to walk through it. But this isn’t really about Paris. It never is.”
You looked down at the pavement in a poor attempt to hide your smile. He could still see it. If you were smiling, he’d always make sure to see it.
“That would sound far more romantic,” you said, “if I hadn’t just seen a dead rat across the street.”
Jungkook threw his head back in sudden laughter. He’d seen the rat, too, but he didn’t want to say anything. You had just looked up at the stars in the sky; he thought it’d spoil the moment.
“I know,” he said. “This is why I said that Paris is overrated. I’m just trying to make it sound better.”
“It’s still beautiful despite these things, though,” you said as the two of you took a turn past the canal that ran across the park. The dark water reflected the dim lights of the streets and the persistent stars, too. “Despite the dead rats and unbelievable amounts of garbage everywhere.”
“Yeah?” Jungkook could not control the size of his smile or the sounds in his chest. “You think so?”
“Mhmm,” you said. “These things happen sometimes, I guess. You care about something so much that not even dead rats can ruin it.”
You’d clearly stopped talking about Paris, and he had to turn away from the look in your eyes before he accidentally led you right into the canal. The two of you turned a corner instead, leaving the reflections in the water behind you as you entered another sleeping street, the cobblestones stirring awake under your feet.
Squeezing your hand as he walked, Jungkook looked up at the numerous wrought-iron balconies on the building to your right and felt, for just a moment, as though the faint lights in the windows were watching the two of you. He hoped they were. He loved you so much that he wanted everyone to see.
“I think it’s a metaphor,” he said.
You turned to him. “What is?”
“The dead rat.”
That wouldn’t have been your choice of words to describe the rat, and you continued to watch him, bemused. “It’s a metaphor?”
“Yeah,” he said. “For a new beginning.”
You looked down to avoid twisting your ankles on the uneven street stones.
“I assume the dead rat represents Sid’s demise, then,” you said.
“Precisely,” Jungkook replied, and you turned another corner in the labyrinth of Parisian streets.
“I’ll take it,” you said. Then, nearly laughing, you nodded your head at the shadows ahead of you. “I think I see another one.”
He turned his head and squinted.
“Shit,” he murmured, spotting a pair of panicked, beady eyes. “That one looks alive. Maybe we should cross the—”
“Oh,” you pulled his hand to gesture at the rodent ahead, “you don’t want to say hi to Sid’s uncle?”
“That’s his cousin, I think.”
Laughing—nearly hysterically—the two of you crossed to the other side of the street. Another turn led you back to the canal, right on the edge of a bridge stairway. The massive abutment on this side of the canal and the wall of a parking lot next to it were decorated with years and years of graffiti history, and the two of you stopped momentarily to catch your breath and to analyse the art.
Most of the tags here had something unique about them—lizard tongues spewing out of the Os, crazy-eyed devils holding the letters. You noticed a few love declarations, too, when you leaned in closer. And you wondered, as you smiled at the hearts drawn around unfamiliar names on the grey bricks, if the initials you’d burnt into the library wall on your campus were still there.
“Smells like shit here, too, actually,” Jungkook remarked, breaking the spell.
You laughed again, pulling back from the wall.
“That’s good,” you said, returning to him so that you could continue down the road, curving slightly under the bridge. “Means it’s seen things.”
“It’s seen shit.”
You glanced at him, grinning. “So have we.”
“That’s true,” he said. Then, as soon as you emerged from under the bridge, he stopped and looked at you, his eyes slightly widened. “Hey, maybe all of this means that we were really meant to be here. You and me.”
The sudden epiphany he seemed to have had confused you. You looked around at the buildings towering on each side of the canal and the loose bags of trash flowing in the wind, scattering empty soda cans across the pavement.
This night did not seem special in any way, but Jungkook was looking at you like it was, and it took one glance at the hopeful smile on his lips for you to believe in the magic, too.
“Yeah,” you said softly. “Maybe we were.”
He was smiling at you—for you, really—and you knew that you would forget everything about your trip to Paris again: all the sights, the people, the concerts, and the drinks. Instead, you’d remember the way he was looking at you right now—and that was all that you really wanted to remember anyway.
During this tour, there were many moments where you felt like you were dreaming. You convinced yourself that what happened couldn’t have been real because it simply shouldn’t have been.
You and Jungkook had taken so many left turns where the only way was right. You’d caused childish problems and faced unnecessary challenges. It was practically impossible for you to still find each other at the end of the day.
But you were awake. And however impossible or unlikely it was, you’ve found each other.
It had been raining the last time you were in Paris, but the sky was clear tonight, and now you and Jungkook could walk down these streets, laughing and swaying your hands, and no longer lying to yourselves.
The truth was, your souls, like your hands, had always been intertwined—even when you tried to pretend they weren’t.
FIN.
chapter title credits: sleeping with sirens, “if i’m james dean, you’re audrey hepburn”
we're done, friends! 🥹 if you have read so far, i truly love you more than words can describe 🤍
if i had to explain what my life was like while i was writing this fic, it would turn into an ao3 author's note that's like "hey guys, sorry i didn't update, i was in prison" so i'm very grateful to have received your feedback and support over the past few months 🤍🤍
hopefully there will be more things i can share with you in the future, but for now, thank you and good night 🤍
prev ○ END.
#jungkook angst#jungkook fluff#jungkook smut#jungkook x reader#jungkook fanfiction#bts reactions#bts imagines#bts scenarios#bts fanfiction#bts au#jungkook au#bts x reader#jungkook x you#bts angst#bts fluff#jungkook rockstar au#bts rockstar au#jeon jungkook x reader#jungkook fic#jungkook imagine#jungkook fanfic#bts fanfic
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Always back to you - Chp.4
Pairing: Minho x m!Reader (mention of 3racha)
Word Count: 7000
Summary: Minho gets a call from his ex-wife, asking to meet Minjun. Hesitating, he agrees to the meeting but not without you by his side. You both find your way around each other as the boundaries between friendship and love dissolve more and more...
Warnings/Tags: fluff, single dad!min, angst, domestic shit, emotional hurt!comfort, panic attack,
A/N: Thank you for all the love for the story and little Minjun so far. I hope you enjoy this chapter, some of you have been waiting for what happens here hehe🖤
PART THREE | PART FIVE
do not repost, translate, or plagiarize my works in any way here or on other platforms. ©️writingforstraykids 2024 -
The steady rhythmic sound of a knife chopping vegetables abruptly halts as the sharp, insistent ring of Minho’s phone pierces through the quiet kitchen atmosphere. Minho's hand stills, a sense of dread creeping up his spine as he stares at the caller ID. What?
Minho glances out of the window quickly, seeing you and Minjun still playing peacefully outside. His eyes wander back to his phone and it takes everything in him to take it into his hand, his thumb hovering over the screen. He takes a deep breath before picking up the phone. "Hello?"
"Minho, it's Yejun," comes the voice on the other end, unmistakable and unexpectedly calm. The sound of his ex-wife's voice, not heard in conversations for years, is enough to make his heart skip a beat.
"Hi, Yejun...What's up?" Minho manages to keep his voice steady, though his grip on the phone tightens.
"I’ve been thinking. It’s been a long time, and I want to meet Minjun. I want to see our son," she says.
Minho feels as if the floor dropped from beneath him. The request comes as a shock, reopening a chapter of his life he thought had been firmly closed. He leans heavily against the kitchen counter, trying to gather his thoughts. "I...that’s quite sudden. I’m not sure that’s a good idea," he replies, the discomfort clear in his voice.
"I know it’s sudden, Minho. I just want to be a part of his life," she says.
“Mhm,” he hums sourly, feeling nothing but defensiveness bubbling up in him.
“What’s that supposed to mean, huh?” she asks sharply and Minho closes his eyes, swallowing down the memories that flood his brain at that tone.
“Means I wonder what makes you think you can leave and then come back once he’s old enough to do a lot on his own,” he says, chewing on his lower lip.
“It’s my right to see him, Min,” she says.
“Don’t,” Minho says firmly. “Don’t even start claiming it’s your right to meet him. You left him once he was old enough to drink from the bottle. You have absolutely no right to demand anything.”
“Gosh, Min, still so emotional, hm?” she groans and Minho puts his phone on speaker, slamming it down on the table and mocking her quietly. Her laugh rings in his ears as she starts talking again. “I want to meet him. If he doesn’t like me, I’ll go.”
“Gosh, Yejun, still taking the easy way out, hm?” he gives back dryly, bracing himself at the table. “Why now?”
“As you said, he’s easy to handle now. I’m curious,” she says.
“Curious…If you meet him, I’m there every damn second, you hear me?” he asks, and she agrees reluctantly. “If you hurt my son in any way, I’m taking him home, and that’s the last you saw of him.”
“Relax,” she snorts. “I’ll be in Seoul next week from Monday until Friday. Let’s meet up then.”
Minho agrees hesitantly, ending the call with a heavy sigh. As soon as he puts the phone down, a wave of nausea sweeps over him, his hand flying to his stomach as if to quell the rising sickness. Pacing the kitchen, he feels his mind race with worries about the past getting back at him, about the potential destruction of Minjun’s more or less stable but happy life.
You get back inside to refill Minjun’s water bottle as he quickly uses the bathroom in the meantime. You find Minho in the kitchen, his face pale, bracing himself on the table. "Minho? What’s wrong? You look sick," you ask worriedly. “You’re feeling dizzy again?”
Hearing your voice seems to ground him momentarily. He looks up at you with a mixture of fear and uncertainty. "That was Yejun," he manages to say, his voice a whisper of distress. "She wants to meet Minjun. She says she wants to be part of his life."
Your expression shifts from concern to shock. You’ve heard of her, of course, the woman who had left Minho to raise Minjun alone and caused much of his earlier heartache when you met him. "Oh, Minho," you murmur, stepping next to him. “What are you going to do?"
"I don’t know," Minho admits, his voice shaky. "Part of me thinks maybe it’s good if Minjun knows his mother. But another part...I can’t bear the thought. What if she leaves again? What if she hurts him? I can’t let Minjun go through that."
You nod, understanding his inner conflict. "This is tough, but whatever decision you make, I’m here. You’re not alone in this, Minho."
Minho looks into your eyes, finding peace in your unwavering support. Taking a deep breath, he tries to calm his racing heart. "Can you... Can you just hold me for a minute?" he asks, his voice barely above a whisper. He doesn’t know why he’s suddenly asking for that, but somehow, it feels right.
Without hesitation, you wrap your arms around him, pulling him close. Minho buries his face in your shoulder, allowing himself to feel vulnerable, to accept the comfort being offered. As they stand there, Minho feels a tiny fragment of his anxiety ebb away, the warmth and steadiness of your embrace lending him strength.
After a long moment, Minho steps back slightly. "Thank you, Y/nnie. For being here," he says, his voice thick with gratitude.
"Always," you reply, squeezing his hand.
Minho feels a little steadier, bolstered by your support. "Would you...come with me to meet her? I think I might need someone there, just in case. I uh…I don’t know how it’ll be seeing her again and everything."
"Of course, Minho. I'll be there," you reply gently.
-
The day of the meeting arrives with a tense air. Minho is quiet as you both drive to the cafe where the meeting with Yejun is scheduled. Every now and then, he glances at Minjun in the rearview mirror, who is blissfully unaware of the gravity of the situation, chatting excitedly about the new game you had taught him. He seemed excited to meet his mother, which was the only reason Minho decided to let them.
As you arrive and find Yejun already there, a chill runs down Minho’s spine. She looks different, yet somehow the same, and his stomach tightens as he watches her wave them over with a bright, practiced smile. Minjun gently tugs at his jeans, as always when meeting new people. He’s glad to have something to hold onto as he picks him up and soothingly pats his back.
You stay close to them, looking at Yejun curiously. You had never felt the need to look up old pictures of Minho and her, so you had no idea what she looked like…and looking at her makes you realize she’s stunningly beautiful. Her dark, long curls frame her perfect face, skin smooth and accentuating her bright eyes. A red dress hugs her body in all the right places, and she looks delicate but elegant. God, no wonder Minho had a hard time getting over that. Getting closer, you realize Minjun must’ve inherited the freckles covering her nose, as well as the curly texture of his hair.
"Minho, it's been too long," Yejun greets, standing to embrace him swiftly. She presses a short kiss onto his cheek that has Minho tensing up, eyes widening. Ah, lovely.
"Yejun," he nods, taking a few steps back, then turns to you. "This is Y/nnie."
"Nice to meet you," you say, offering a polite smile, though you feel the undercurrents of tension.
“And that’s..?” she asks, glancing at Minjun.
“Oh for fucks sake,” Minho mutters quietly making Minjun giggle and cover his mouth with his little hand.
“Bad word, Daddy!” he protests, making you smirk.
“That’s some kid I stole on the way here,” Minho rolls his eyes at her. “That’s Minjun…obviously.”
“Oh…you’ve gotten big,” she nods, looking at Minjun curiously.
“Well he was six months old when you left, go figure,” Minho says patiently, with a fake calm smile on his face. “Minjunnie, say hi to your mother.”
Minjun frowns at her softly before looking up at Minho. “Daddy? Mum who ran away?” he asks and you have trouble biting back a laugh at her perplexed face.
“Mhm, that one,” Minho nods, pulling himself out a chair. “She wants to talk to you, so be nice, buddy.”
“Okay,” he nods, getting comfortable in his own chair, blinking at her curiously.
The conversation starts with trivialities, Yejun asking about Minjun's interests. But soon, she shifts the topic to her life in the US, describing her home, the parks, and the schools that she says would be wonderful for Minjun once he’s old enough.
Minjun listens, wide-eyed, clearly taken with the idea of such places. "Can I see them, Daddy? Can I visit her in America?" he asks, looking excitedly between Minho and Yejun.
Minho feels a pang in his heart at the words, his fear creeping back as he watches his son’s enthusiasm. He tries to keep his voice even. "We'll see, buddy. We're just talking right now."
Yejun leans forward, her tone persuasive. "I have a great life there, Minjun. You could have your own room, a big yard to play in... I'd love to show you around."
Minho feels sick watching the scene unfold, his hands clenched under the table. You notice his discomfort and place a reassuring hand on his knee. As the meeting draws to an end, Minho is quiet, lost in thought as Yejun makes plans to visit Minjun again. "Let’s take it slow, one step at a time," Minho finally says, not committing to anything more.
On the drive back, Minjun chats happily about the things his mother had told him, while Minho remains silent, his expression drawn.
Once home, Minho retreats to the kitchen, his movements sluggish, each step seeming to weigh heavily on him. You watch as he leans against the counter, his face pale and his eyes distant. Concerned, you approach him, your hand gently touching his arm. "Minho?" you call softly, trying to get his attention.
He looks up, his eyes meeting yours, and there's an unspoken plea for comfort. The day had drained him, dredging up past pains and uncertainties about the future. "I just... I don't know if I did the right thing today," he admits, his voice barely above a whisper. "What if she convinces him? What if he wants to go with her?"
You understand the turmoil he's in. The possibility of Minjun wanting to leave with Yejun is his worst nightmare coming true. Stepping closer, you wrap your arms around him, offering him a silent reassurance. "Minho, you're an incredible father. Minjun knows that. Whatever Yejun says or does, it won't change the bond you two have."
Minho rests his forehead against your shoulder, his breath shaky. "I hope you're right," he murmurs. "It's just hard not to feel threatened, to feel like everything we have could be disrupted by her return."
"It's understandable to feel that way," you reply, holding him tighter. "But remember, Minjun loves you. He's grown up with you. That connection, those memories, they're not easily broken or forgotten. You're his dad, the one who's been there for him every single day."
As you speak, Minho's tension begins to ease. He pulls back slightly, looking into your eyes, searching for the certainty he so desperately needs. Seeing the sincerity in your gaze, a small smile begins to form on his lips. "Thank you, Y/nnie," he says. "For being here, for supporting me through this."
"Always," you reply, smiling back.
The kitchen is quiet for a moment, the only sound being the soft ticking of the clock on the wall. Minho seems to ponder your words, letting them sink in. Gradually, the anxious lines on his face smooth out, replaced by a more resolute expression. "I won't let her take him away," he states, more to himself than to you. "I'll do whatever it takes to keep Minjun with me."
"And I'll help you," you assure him.
As the evening sets in, you and Minho prepare dinner together, the earlier tension melting away into a comfortable routine. Minjun joins you, chatting excitedly about his day, blissfully unaware of the complex emotions his father has been grappling with. Watching Minho laugh and interact with his son, you feel a profound sense of admiration and love for him.
Later, as you sit down to eat, the atmosphere is light, filled with Minjun’s laughter and stories. Minho looks over at you, a silent gratitude in his gaze. Despite the challenges, he knows he isn't alone. With you by his side, he feels ready to handle whatever may come.
That night, after Minjun has gone to bed, you and Minho find yourselves on the couch, a comfortable silence enveloping you. Minho leans his head on your shoulder, his earlier fears now calmed by your presence and the peaceful end to the day.
"Today was hard," he admits quietly.
"It was," you agree. "But you got through it. And you’ll get through whatever else comes your way."
-
Minho stands silently in the middle of the living room, the soft hum of the evening settling around him. The faint laughter and shouts of children playing outside drifts through the open window, a stark contrast to the turmoil brewing inside him. His hands tremble slightly as he turns over a small toy that Minjun had left on the couch—a constant reminder of his responsibilities, his fears, and his deep-seated insecurities about being a father. Minjun is staying with Felix and Chan for a few hours and you'll visit to work through a few important aspects of his schedule.
The weight of his thoughts and the relentless pressure he placed on himself were reaching a boiling point. The room feels smaller, the walls closing in as each of Minjun’s innocent questions from earlier that day echoed in his head, “Are you happy, Daddy? Does Yejun like me? Can I go to America?” The questions are simple, filled with the childlike curiosity of his young son, yet to Minho, they are a reflection of his deepest fears—is he truly enough?
The anxiety that had been simmering throughout the day suddenly surges, a tidal wave crashing over him with suffocating force. His breathing becomes shallow, each inhale sharp and unsatisfying. His heart races uncontrollably, pounding against his ribs as if trying to escape. The room spins, and a nauseous feeling tightens in his gut. He's having a panic attack, the intense fear of failing his son overwhelming him completely.
Just then, you walk in. You stop in track at the sight of Minho, his face pale, his body tense and trembling. Dropping your bag, you rush over. “Minho! What’s happening?” Your voice is laced with concern as you reach out to steady him, your hands gripping his arms.
“I...I can’t breathe properly,” Minho gasps out, his voice shaky. “I feel like I’m not enough for him...like I’m going to fail him.”
You quickly lead him to the sofa, helping him to sit down. “Look at me, Minho. Follow my breathing, okay? In and out, slowly,” you instruct him gently, demonstrating deep, steady breaths.
Minho tries to mimic your breathing, focusing on the rise and fall of your chest. Gradually, his own breaths begin to deepen, the tight grip of fear around his chest loosening slightly with each exhale. You don't let go, your presence a calming force in the storm of his panic.
After a few minutes, as the initial wave of panic begins to subside, Minho feels exhaustion seep into his bones, replacing the adrenaline that had surged through him just moments before. He leans back against the sofa, his eyes closing briefly in fatigue.
“You’re doing great, Minho. Just keep breathing like that,” you murmur, your voice a soothing balm. “You are enough for Minjun, more than enough. You’re an incredible father.”
Tears prick at Minho’s eyes as he listens to your affirmations. “I’m scared,” he admits, his voice a broken whisper. “What if it’s not true? What if I’m not what he needs?”
You shift closer, your side pressing against his, a silent offer of solidarity. “Minho, look at everything you’ve done for him. He adores you. Your fear doesn’t define your reality. You are exactly what Minjun needs because you love him, and you show up every day for him, even when it’s hard. Especially when it’s hard.”
The sincerity in your words, the warmth of your body next to his, it all pierces through the fog of Minho’s anxiety, reaching a part of him that he kept walled off from everyone else. He turns to look at you, really look, seeing not just a friend but someone who has come to mean so much more to him.
Without thinking, driven by the emotions swirling within him and the need to be closer to the one person who seemed to understand him completely, Minho leans in. You hesitate, leaning in a little before you both stop for me a moment. Then you meet halfway, your lips touching in a kiss that is soft and hesitant at first but quickly deepened with shared urgency and emotion. But as seconds pass, the kiss deepens, driven by a mixture of long-suppressed desires and the comforting familiarity that has grown between you over countless shared moments.
All that matters is the here and now—the warmth of your lips against his, the gentle exploration that grows bolder with each passing moment. Your hands move to cup Minho’s face, your touch tender yet assured, pulling him closer, deepening the kiss until it is all-consuming.
Minho’s hands find their way around you, pulling you in, his heart pounding against his chest. The kiss grows more desperate, a silent confession of the feelings that had been simmering beneath the surface for so long. Your breaths mingle, quick and shaky, as the kiss ignites a fire within you both, a blaze that seems to fill the voids you had both carried inside.
But as the intensity of your embrace grows, so does a creeping fear in the back of Minho’s mind. His heart, scarred from past hurts and losses, begins to recoil at the vulnerability he is exposing himself to. The memory of his past, of being left alone when he had dared to love openly, surges forward, casting a shadow over the warmth he feels.
Your hands trace the line of Minho's jaw, gentle yet insistent, pulling him closer. Minho responds in kind, his hands finding the small of your back, pressing you together. The kiss grows more fervent, more desperate, as if you're trying to communicate every unspoken word, every suppressed emotion through this single act.
As your breath quickens, Minho’s emotions swirl chaotically—a blend of exhilaration and deep-seated fear. The intensity of your connection right here is something he hasn't allowed himself to fully experience for a long time, not since his heart had been guarded against such vulnerabilities.
Suddenly, the weight of his past, the memories of abandonment, and the fear of experiencing such profound loss again surge to the forefront of his mind. It is overwhelming the way these fears claw their way up, threatening to overshadow the warmth and safety he had just been reveling in.
With a sudden intake of breath, Minho’s hands still, and he pulls back slightly, breaking the kiss. His heart is racing, not just with the passion of the moment but also with a creeping dread that he might be setting himself up for another heartbreak. His chest heaves as he tries to steady his breathing, his eyes wide and vulnerable as he meets your concerned gaze.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers, his voice choked with a mixture of fear and regret. “I... I need a moment.”
Your face is a mixture of worry and understanding. You reach out, brushing a trembling hand against Minho’s cheek. “It’s okay, Minho. We don’t have to rush anything. I’m here, okay?”
Minho nods, feeling a lump form in his throat. He is terrified, not of the kiss or the connection but of what it signifies. To let someone in so completely was to risk being torn apart again. And yet, as he looks into your eyes, he sees a reflection of something pure and steady—a commitment not just to the joy of their relationship but to the struggles, too.
Minho takes a deep breath, each inhale laced with the scent of your skin, a reminder of the now. “I just... I’m scared of losing myself, of losing Minjun, of being left alone again if this... if we don’t work out,” he confesses, his voice barely a whisper amidst the quiet of the room.
Your expression softens, your eyes filling with empathy. “Minho, love doesn’t come with guarantees, but not giving ourselves the chance to experience it fully is a guarantee of regret. I don’t know what the future holds, but I promise to be by your side through the highs and the lows. You’re not alone anymore, and you won’t be.”
These words, gentle and reassuring, seem to stitch up the raw edges of Minho’s fears slowly. He allows himself to lean into you, feeling the solidity of your presence. “Thank you,” he murmurs, allowing himself to feel the full extent of his vulnerability.
“Thank you for not running,” you say, a small smile tugging at the corners of your lips. The tension begins to dissipate, replaced by a cautious hope.
“Thank you for staying,” Minho shakes his head gently.
You smile, your hand squeezing Minho’s. “There’s nowhere else I’d rather be,” you assure him. You lean forward, pressing a soft kiss to Minho’s forehead, a simple gesture that holds a depth of meaning.
Minho allows himself to be held, his head resting against your shoulder, feeling the steady beat of your heart against his cheek. It is comforting, grounding. Slowly, his breathing evens out, the immediate panic subsiding under the gentle rhythm of your assurances.
“You mean a lot to me, Y/nnie,” Minho confesses, pulling back slightly to look at you. “I don’t want to lose you, not because of my fears.”
You smile, your hands sliding down to grasp his. “And you won’t lose me. I care about you, Minho. We’ll face this together, okay? Step by step.”
“Okay,” Minho agrees, squeezing your hands. “Step by step.”
The moment is tender, a delicate truce between Minho’s fears and the possibilities that lie ahead. You stay like that for a while, simply holding each other, finding comfort in the presence of one another.
When it is time for you to leave, Minho finds himself not wanting to let go. The goodbye is lingering, filled with the promise of soon and more. You leave him with a smile, and Minho watches from the doorway, feeling a mixture of contentment and longing.
That night, as Minho lies in bed, Minjun peacefully asleep next to him, he thinks about the kiss - the way it had made him feel alive, the way it had scared him. He touches his lips, still feeling the ghost of your touch. The fear is still there, a quiet whisper in the back of his mind, but it is slowly being overshadowed by a stronger, more insistent feeling: hope.
He knows the road ahead will be fraught with challenges, but for the first time in a long while, Minho feels ready to face them. With you by his side, he isn't just facing the future; he is stepping into it, one kiss, one conversation, one promise at a time.
-
Minho nervously ties Minjun’s shoelaces, hoping his attentive little boy can’t see the anxiety written all over his face. He gently takes Minjun’s small hands into his and searches his eyes. “Minjunnie?” he asks softly.
“What, Daddy?” his son asks curiously.
“Daddy loves you a lot, okay?” he asks, and Minjun nods contently. “I’m sorry I can’t always be there, I’ll try to get better.”
“It’s okay,” he says, gently patting his father’s head.
Minho giggles at him and pulls him into his lap. “I will always love you, okay? No matter what happens.”
“Always?” he asks softly, and Minho nods firmly. “Always come back?”
Minho cups his face, smiling at him encouragingly. “I’ll always come back to you, buddy.”
“Good,” he smiles brightly. “Yejun now?” he asks, and Minho nods.
“Yeah,” he says, almost feeling a little ashamed for being so relieved about Minjun not calling her his mother.
You open the door, glancing inside. “You two are ready to go?” you ask. “I’ll drop you off at the café, make sure everything’s in place at the location for the shoot, and then come back. I won’t be gone longer than ten minutes, it’s on the other side of the road.”
“Sounds good,” Minho nods, subconsciously chewing on his lower lip. He pushes himself back up and meeting your eyes, you can tell he needs a hug.
“Come here,” you say gently, opening your arms for him. Minho laughs weakly and hugs you tightly, fingers gripping the fabric of your shirt. “It’ll be okay,” you tell him, earning a timid hum in return.
“Daddy?” Minjun frowns up at you two worriedly.
Minho leaves your warm embrace, picking him up. “I’m okay,” he assures him, his one hand finding yours. Your fingers intertwine almost naturally, and you can feel his hand tremble in yours a little.
“Liar,” Minjun says softly, not even sounding like he’s judging him for it.
Minho chuckles weakly and searches your eyes. “Minjunnie? You really like Y/nnie, right?” he asks, watching you with a gentle smile.
“No,” he shakes his head, making your heart sink for a moment. “I love Y/nnie, Daddy.”
You both laugh softly, and you gently poke his cheek. “I love you too, Minjunnie…and I care a lot about your Daddy too.”
“I…I love Y/nnie too,” Minho says quietly, and your world stops turning for a few seconds.
“What?” you ask just as quietly, swallowing hard as tears brim Minho’s soft chocolate eyes.
“I love you, Y/nnie,” he tells you again, a little less shaky this time. “I do,” he says as if he has to reassure you both he put it into words.
“I love you too, Minho,” you whisper happily, your heart warming. Minho squeezes your hand, searching your eyes timidly. You don’t think much, closing the distance between you two and kissing him softly. Minho sighs quietly, feeling at ease here in the moment of kissing you.
Minjun squeals making you break apart again. “Eww, but yay,” he says with wide eyes, making you giggle.
“Okay, let's go,” you laugh and gently shove Minho out of the room.
You drive them to the café and Minho shares another quick kiss with you before getting out. You quickly cross the street to check the set, hoping it won't take long.
-
The tension in the air is thick as Yejun sits across from Minho at a small, brightly lit café in the heart of Seoul. The noise of the bustling city outside does little to fill the silence that hangs between them. Minho watches her observantly as she tries to talk to Minjun, who’s busy coloring in the book she gifted him earlier.
"Minjun, you would love it in America," Yejun begins, her voice infused with excitement. "We have huge parks, and there are so many fun things you can do. There's Disneyland, with all the rides and characters you love."
Minjun's eyes light up at the mention of Disneyland, but his smile falters as he glances sideways at Minho, who sits silently, his expression unreadable. "Can Daddy come with us?" Minjun asks innocently, his voice tinged with hope.
Yejun’s smile tightens slightly. "No, it would just be you and me. But think of all the adventures we’ll have!"
Minjun’s face falls. "But I want Daddy...and Y/nnie," he ads, his small voice growing firmer. "I want them."
Yejun’s patience began to crumble. "Minjun, I’m your mother. I have a wonderful life set up for us in America. You need to think about what I’m offering you."
Minho, who has been quietly observing the exchange, sees the confusion and distress growing on Minjun’s face. "Yejun, that's enough," he interjects calmly. "You’re overwhelming him. He’s only a child."
Yejun turns her gaze to Minho, her eyes flashing with irritation. "You have no right to keep him from me, Minho! You’ve turned him against me, huh? You stole my son!"
The accusation stings, and Minho’s voice grows stern. "Yejun, I haven’t stolen anyone. I’ve been here for Minjun every single day since he was born. He’s my son too, and I have been his only parent for years."
“Well, I’m his mother and-”
Tears well up in Minjun's eyes as the tension rises. He can tell his father is upset and trying not to show it, he may be young but he knows him well. The woman opposite him glares at him and he doesn’t like that at all. "You're not my mum, Y/nnie is!" he cries out, the emotional toll of the conversation beginning to show. "Y/nnie plays with me. Y/nnie makes me food. Y/nnie cuddles me!"
Yejun blinks, her face contorted with a mix of shock and disgust. "Y/nnie? That babysitter? You think he's a better mother than me?”
“Yes,” he says stubbornly, staring down at his coloring book again.
“Minho, what the fuck have you done with this child?” she asks frustratedly.
Minho reaches out, taking Minjun’s hand in his, providing a comforting touch. "Y/nnie has been here for him. What Minjun is trying to say is that family isn’t just about blood; it’s about who cares for you, who’s there for you."
Yejun’s anger flares, and she stands abruptly, her chair scraping loudly against the floor. "He is my son, and you’ve turned him into this...this weak, dependent child clinging to a man who has no business raising him!"
Minjun’s tears spill over, and he buries his face in Minho’s side, sobbing. Minho wraps his arms around his son protectively. "He is not weak. He’s a child, Yejun. And you’re upsetting him."
“I can’t believe you’re letting his babysitter take my role!” she protests loudly.
“That babysitter is my boyfriend,” Minho says firmly. Technically, the two of you aren't there yet but he couldn't care less right now. “So you better watch your mouth now.”
“Really? Dating a man?” she scoffs. “Did I break your heart so much you’re too scared to face another woman?” she spits out.
“What?” Minho almost chokes on his breath.
“You’re stupid,” Minjun states, pouting at her through tears. He doesn’t like how she’s talking about the two most important people in his life. “Daddy loves Y/nnie. Not you.”
“You’re coming with me now, if you like it or not!” she says firmly, reaching out for him.
"Don’t touch him," you snap, your voice icy as you move to block her path. "You need to leave, Yejun. You’re only causing him distress." You can’t believe what you got back to here.
Yejun stares at you, her anger boiling over. "He’s my son, not yours! You have no right—"
"He's not your son!" Minho interrupts firmly, standing up to face her, his voice echoing in the small space. "Not if you can’t see the damage you’re doing right now. Minjun has made his choice!"
“Not my mummy,” Minjun agrees. Still clinging to Minho, he peeks out and yells in his small, fierce voice, "Go away! I don’t want you! I want Daddy and Y/nnie!"
The raw honesty in Minjun’s voice seems to hit Yejun hard. For a moment, her resolve wavers, her features softening as she looks at her son. But the bitterness and resentment are too deep, her expression hardening once again.
“You’re disgusting,” she says toward Minho who stares at her quietly. “One day, he’ll leave you just like he left me,” she tells Minjun, who whimpers, clinging to him.
“You’re such a bitch,” you tell her and stare her down until she storms off. “You forgot your stuff!” you call out for her and she spins around, stomping back to get it.
“Fuck you.” With that, she turns sharply and storms out of the café, leaving behind a heavy silence.
Minho kneels down, wiping the tears from Minjun’s cheeks. "It’s okay, buddy. She’s gone now. You’re safe," he murmurs, his voice soothing.
Minjun sniffles, nodding as he leans into Minho’s embrace. "Stay with me, Daddy. Stay with Y/nnie."
"We will, Minjun. We’re not going anywhere," Minho reassures him. “Always back to you, remember my sweet boy?”
“Yes, Daddy,” he nods bravely.
-
Back at the company Minho walks straight to Chan's studio, telling you to go and get some snacks with Minjun first. He closes the door behind himself and starts cursing as soon as it clicks shut. “I swear that woman is insane! I don't know what the fuck I saw in her but it's gone!”
Chan slowly pulls off his headphones and Jisung clicks his pen, blinking at Minho worriedly. “Mate, what happened?” Chan asks gently.
“Yejun happened!” Minho snaps. “She just tried to pull Minjun away from me so he'd go with her! She called him a weak, clingy child for wanting to stay with me!”
“Okay, take a deep breath,” Chan says soothingly.
“I don't feel like taking a deep breath right now,” he says fuming with anger.
Changbin picks up a pillow and throws it at him. “Scream into that for a moment. Let it all out. You haven't told us much but I suspect Minjun needs his father to be calm now.” Minho blinks at them stunned before doing as they say, his scream getting muffled by the pillow. “Better?”
“A little,” he nods, making them all laugh. Minho flops down onto the sofa between Changbin and Jisung, huffing softly. Then he tells them about everything that happened, all of them growing quiet, exchanging shocked glances.
“Not to be that type of person but..I never liked her,” Jisung snorts and Minho hums agreeingly.
“I know…but I wouldn't want to miss the time I had with her. I'd miss my little boy,” he sighs and rubs his face.
“If she starts causing trouble you let me know, alright?” Chan asks. “Everyone of us can tell whoever needs to know that you've always been there for him and raised him well so far.”
“Thanks, hyung,” he smiles gently, looking up as the door opens and you and Minjun enter the room. Minjun runs up to everyone handing them their favorite snack and smiles proudly at the many encouragement he gets. Minho scoots over and pats the space next to himself, gently tapping your hand to make you sit.
“Can I talk to you for a second?” you ask and Minho nods, getting up quickly.
As soon as you leave the room Minjun climbs into Chan's lap and nibbles on his chocolate. “Exciting day?” Chan asks gently.
“No. Yejun’s a bitch,” he announces dryly. Chan bites back a laugh and Jisung nods proudly.
“Woah, that's a strong word,” Changbin laughs. “Did your daddy teach you that?”
“No, Y/nnie,” he tells them.
“You like staying with your daddy more, right?” Chan asks amused.
“And Y/nnie,” he nods happily. “Y/nnie and Daddy.”
“Yeah? Y/nnie stays with you a lot,” Jisung agrees.
“Daddy loves Y/nnie.”
“Loves?” he asks curiously.
Minjun nods and leans up to Chan, kissing his cheek. “They did that.”
Chan giggles, exchanging a glance with his friends. “They kissed?” he asks curiously.
“Mhm,” he nods and continues munching his chocolate. “But not there,” he says, pointing at Chan's cheek.
“No?” Chan asks stunned.
“No. Like uncle Lix and you,” he announces making the whole room go silent.
“You mean here?” Chan asks, pointing at his lips.
“Yes,” Minjun nods. “Y/nnie is my new mum.”
“That's so cute,” Jisung whispers, smiling at him adoringly.
The door opens and you two are back from your short talk about everything that happened. You sense something's off, judging by the way the three are glancing from Minho to you and back again. “Minjunnie, are you ready to go home?” you ask him. “Daddy has to work but he'll come later.”
“Work?” Minjun asks heartbreakingly timid.
“I'm sorry, baby,” Minho tries, swallowing hard as Minjun climbs off Chan's lap and walks over to him, his small face scrunching up. Minho scoops him up, hugging him tightly. "I'll be back before you know it, okay? And Y/nnie will be with you," he reassures, glancing over at you with a grateful smile.
Minjun seems somewhat calmed by this, nestling his head against Minho's shoulder. "Promise?" he mumbles, his voice muffled.
"I promise, buddy," Minho affirms, pressing a kiss to his son's hair.
You can't help but feel a pang of warmth at the scene, your heart swelling at the depth of their bond. As you prepare to leave with Minjun, Minho sets him down, adjusting his little backpack and smoothing down his hair.
"Be good for Y/nnie, okay?" Minho instructs, kneeling to be eye level with Minjun.
"I will," Minjun nods solemnly, then looks up at you with those big, trusting eyes. "Let's go, Y/nnie."
As you lead Minjun out of the studio, his hand in yours, you glance back to see Minho watching you both, a mix of love and a tinge of sorrow in his eyes. It's clear how torn he feels, the duties of his work pulling him away from moments he cherishes with his son.
Back at Minho’s house, the evening unfolds with a quiet kind of normalcy. Minjun plays with his toys in the living room, occasionally chatting about things he remembers from the day or asking questions about what tomorrow might bring. You keep your answers light and reassuring, mindful of the emotional turmoil he’s endured.
Later, while Minjun is absorbed in a cartoon, you step into the kitchen to prepare a simple dinner, your thoughts wandering back to Minho. The way he had leaned into your kiss, the vulnerability he showed—it all painted a picture of a man deeply in love but equally scared of the implications. Your heart aches for him, wishing there was more you could do to ease his fears.
As you set the table, Minjun comes running into the kitchen, his earlier worries seemingly forgotten in the wake of his current excitement about the cartoon.
"Y/nnie, did you see? The superhero saved everyone!" he exclaims, his eyes sparkling.
"I saw that, buddy. It was pretty cool, wasn’t it?" you smile, lifting him onto a chair.
"Yeah! I wanna be like that," Minjun declares, his chest puffing out proudly.
"I think you're already a hero, Minjun. You know that?" you say, ruffling his hair.
He giggles, beaming up at you. "Really?"
"Really," you affirm, serving him his dinner.
Dinner passes with playful chatter, and soon it's time for Minjun's bedtime. As you tuck him into bed, he hugs his beloved bunny.
"Daddy comes home soon?" Minjun’s voice is small, tinged with the weight of his earlier tears.
"He promised, didn’t he? And your daddy always keeps his promises," you reassure him, smoothing down the blanket. “Did you know your daddy's animal of the group is a bunny?”
Minjun nods proudly. “Yes.”
“There are plushies of his bunny, just like yours here. Would you like one?” you ask gently and Minjun nods with wide eyes. “Then you can cuddle it if he's not here.”
Minjun nods contently, curling up with the plushie. "Night, Y/nnie."
"Goodnight, Minjun. Sweet dreams," you whisper, turning off the light and leaving the door slightly ajar.
Once Minjun is asleep, you sink onto the couch, the quiet of the house settling around you. You're startled by the sound of the front door opening—Minho is home.
He looks exhausted, the lines of his face deeper, his eyes shadowed. But when he sees you, a smile, tired yet genuine, crosses his lips.
"Hey," he greets softly, dropping his keys into the bowl by the door.
"Hey," you reply, standing to meet him. "Rough day?"
"You could say that," Minho sighs, pulling you into a hug. It's a long, tight embrace, one that speaks volumes.
As you pull back, you hold his gaze. "Talk to me," you encourage.3
Minho shakes his head slightly, a weary chuckle escaping him. "Just the usual chaos. But coming back to this—coming back to you—it helps more than you might think."
Your heart skips a beat at his words, the simplicity of his statement underscoring the depth of your growing bond. "I'm glad," you murmur, your hands resting on his arms.
"We didn't get much time earlier... to talk about... us," Minho hesitates, searching your face for signs of what you might be feeling.
"No, we didn’t," you agree, feeling the momentous weight of the conversation that looms between you. "But we’re here now. We can talk."
Minho nods, taking a deep breath. "I meant what I said earlier, before everything with Yejun. I love you, Y/nnie. I know it’s complicated, and I know my life is... a lot. But I want you in it, in every way."
The earnestness in his voice, the open vulnerability—he’s offering you his heart, and it’s yours to take. You smile, your decision clear. "I love you too, Minho. And I’m in this. All of it, with you," you say.
The relief that washes over Minho's face is evident. He pulls you close again, his lips finding yours in a kiss that seals the promise of a future together, come what may. In that moment, wrapped up in each other, the challenges that lie ahead seem manageable. With love as your anchor, you both feel ready to face whatever comes next, together.
PART THREE | PART FIVE
MASTERLISTS | PROMPT LIST | GUIDELINES
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𝔸 𝔽ℝ𝕀𝔼ℕ𝔻 𝕆𝔽 𝔸 𝔽ℝ𝕀𝔼ℕ𝔻 | ℂℍ. 𝟠
| 𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: 𝐀𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐜𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐚 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐝 𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐤 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐞 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐰𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐛𝐞 𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐫𝐚𝐰 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐮𝐧𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐥𝐲 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫.
|𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞/𝐚𝐮: 𝐄𝐧𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬,𝐬𝐦𝐮𝐭,𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐞, 𝐥𝐨𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭, 𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐝 𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐚𝐮, 𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐬, 𝐬𝐦𝐮𝐭.
| 𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐉𝐉𝐊 𝐗 𝐅𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫
| 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 7k
| 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐨𝐱𝐢𝐜 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐬, 𝐚𝐛𝐮𝐬𝐞, 𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐝𝐫𝐮𝐠𝐬 & 𝐚𝐥𝐜𝐨𝐡𝐨𝐥, 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐚𝐠𝐞 ( 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤), 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐳𝐞𝐝 𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐞, 𝐦𝐮𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐫, 𝐬𝐦𝐮𝐭, 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐥 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐭𝐡, 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤, 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐬𝐞𝐱𝐮𝐚𝐥 𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 (𝐥𝐨𝐭𝐬), 𝐬𝐞𝐱 ( 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐬), 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐠𝐮𝐧𝐬 & 𝐝𝐫𝐮𝐠𝐬, 𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞
| 𝐀/𝐍: 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐬 𝐟𝐚𝐬𝐭-𝐩𝐚𝐜𝐞𝐝 𝐬𝐨 𝐈 𝐚𝐩𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐢𝐳𝐞 𝐢𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐲; 𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲, 𝐈 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐟𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐢𝐭 𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐢𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐛𝐲 𝐚 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐠𝐮𝐲𝐬 𝐬𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐦𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐛𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐨𝐫𝐬.
previous chapters
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You lay exhausted on the floor, sweat trickling the sides of your cheeks as you looked up at the ceiling in despair – there was no air in your lungs, and it was not like you were trying to breathe. breathing would only make this harder for you. you couldn’t get the ringing in your ears to subside no matter how much you concentrated. You were burnt out, heavy lids blinking in slow motion whilst you lay limp on the matted floor. In moments like these, you tried to find beauty in sacrifice, but no matter what color you tried to paint it, no matter what museum it would be hung on for others to observe, there was nothing beautiful in defeat.
the sound of the man yelling above you echoed through the room but even whilst he continued barking for you to stand, there wasn’t a fiber in your body that was willing to comply.
It had been like this for months, exerting your body through painful training – pushing yourself to the brink of death every day. you had spent sleepless nights worrying about a future out of your grasp, planning down falls under closed doors and hushed tones.
“You have no one! No one wants you; no one needs you if you don’t get up and fight, no one will do it for you!”
You permitted your lips to part and within them a heavy breath climbed out, hallowing your chest and in its trail leaving a pounding ache inside your head. You had grown accustomed to being cruel to yourself, knowing that the enemies you would soon form would show you no mercy, offer you no time to regain your breath.
“Y/n get the fuck up!”
You sat up quickly, spitting out the mouth guard that had been wedged between your teeth and finally allowing yourself to breathe. Your brief tango with affixation results in a sour and painful aftertaste in your mouth.
“that’s enough for today Y/n, don’t ever underestimate your opponent they will always be stronger and bigger than you, it is then when you have to rely on your technique, it's never about strength” your Jiu Jitsu instructor yelled, displeasure in his expression as he stormed out of the room, the sound of the door slamming behind you causing your body to jolt. You stared down at the matt under you, a sense of contrition settling in your stomach.
“don’t take it to the head, he's just trying to push you” Minjun, your opponent spoke as he reached down to offer you his hand. You looked up at him with a glare, smacking his hand away, and standing up on your own.
“I don’t” you spat, limping over to your gym bag and reaching for your phone.
This had been your routine for some time now, whilst other wives planned out parties and prepared to birth children, you found yourself working on becoming an enemy competent enough to go against your husband and his affiliates, the fact alone was ridiculous but one that you had learned to accept, nonetheless.
You would like to say that these circumstances hadn’t changed the way you viewed life, yet it had been a rude awakening to the all too cruel reality that even if you gained your liberty, you would never be the same. You had made relations with men whom in other instances you would’ve ran from and now when you looked in the mirror, you were too someone your past self would’ve screamed out to in fear.
The beauty in sacrifice.
Yet, you were no longer alone in your resentment. The feeling that you had detested for so long had made a home inside of you, a home that you had found yourself sharing with others. As you assisted your father-in-law with his campaign, you also worked on gaining connections and allies, finding that within this bubble that you lived in existed those who were far crueler than the men who had stripped you of your life.
All with the help of Yoongi of course, the strongest of your allies. He still was a censored scripture, a page that contained no words for you to understand but he was helpful, and you decided it would be best to not probe into his business. Knowing a man like Yoongi meant losing a part of yourself and there was already so much you had lost.
Your phone vibrated with an incoming call from Myung, her 5th attempt at trying to fulfill her job as the double agent she was. You took a deep breath trying to collect your thoughts, preparing yourself to morph into the person you had been pretending to be for the last few months. a shell of a woman, someone who complied in the name of revenge.
“Hello?” you spoke, gathering your belongings and heading towards the entrance of the building.
“Hello Ms. Y/n” Your eyes fluttered with exasperation, still struggling to find her voice pleasant; perhaps because she was a snitch, a mole placed into your life to collect information about your whereabouts for your husband, and based on her relentless phone calls it would appear Jungkook was not satisfied.
It was to be expected though, during this time you made various lifestyle changes, besides taking up self-defense training and visiting the shooting range 2 days out of the week, you had decided that a personal driver would no longer be necessary, opting to drive yourself to all your official and unofficial matters. It was the rational route to take whilst you plotted against your kin, even if it made Jungkook that much more paranoid.
“You interrupted a very important business meeting; how can I help you” You couldn’t control the harshness in your tone, feeling a bit guilty for the way you spoke to your assistant. You were still empathetic, still had a heart and she was probably a good person, someone with a life and bills to pay but nevertheless, a thorn cutting into your skin.
“I apologize Ms. Y/n- Mr. Jeon has been asking for you, he wants to know how his father's campaign is going.”
As promised Jungkook had temporarily taken the position of his father as head of their enterprise during his campaign which left him in complete control of the criminal empire, not that he wasn’t already a top player in that anyway; this only meant that he would have complete control of the decisions made whilst his father focused on pretending to be a civil member of society.
“I mean can't he call his father for this sort of thing” you huffed, opening your car door and throwing your gym bag across the passenger seat.
By now you knew Jungkook very well, could see right through his well-orchestrated intentions and this wasn’t about his father at all, this was a reminder. A reminder that he was still there, a stain on your perfectly clean plan.
“Well yes Ma’am but he requested to hear it from you.”
You rolled your eyes as you often did with these pestering requests, aside from your own personal assignments, you were already running his father's entire campaign, a job that consumed most of your time. you had gone above and beyond, promoting Mr. jeon like the god he pretended to be, influencing your most powerful acquaintances to finance his lies and deceits. All that and you still had to deal with his demonic son.
Naturally, you did have something to gain. being Mr. Jeon's campaign manager facilitated an ample path toward your goal, one the police couldn’t ignore, one that would set in motion the chain of events you had been preparing for. election day was tomorrow and in honor of that you had prepared a banquet, where everyone would celebrate the new governor because he would win, he had to win. You had made sure of that.
“Tell him we will see each other in his father's banquet” you responded, starting the ignition and driving away from the parking lot.
“But Ms. Y/n” Myung protested.
“And by the way Myung next time you even think about reporting back to your boss about what I do and where I am, I will kill you,” you snapped before ending the call.
Something deep inside you had changed; the girl that once cried out in agony at any misstep, at any injustice seized to exist. Perhaps influenced by the very men whom you now surrounded yourself with, who made you feel like you were worthy of a seat at their table.
You had done a proper job at disguising yourself as a content daughter-in-law, bowing down to all your father in laws orders, demonstrating to him you were trustworthy enough to handle his political affairs, making him appear like the perfect candidate in front of the cameras and to the community and maybe that made you a liar, but your lies had a purpose, nonetheless.
Mr. Jeon had found respect for you, admiration. He saw you as a gift that had been awarded to him by the heavens above and had gone as far as to say he was lucky to have you by his side. You had infiltrated yourself as the naïve wife to his golden child, someone who would do anything to please and comply, even if in the end you were just a trojan horse. The person who would destroy them from the inside out at the slightest opportunity.
Of the many things you were taught by your ruthless ally Yoongi and your loyal friend Jin, your preparedness was the only thing they shared. Their methods were different, but their intentions were all the same. While Jin taught you about this life, the rules and policies these criminals respected and therefore followed, Yoongi taught you how to disarm a gun, how to hold your head high during confrontations, all ensuring you were someone no one could fuck with.
You were a loaded gun with no safety, willing and able to end all those who crossed you.
You could recall Yoongi’s voice in your mind, the memory of his hands wrapped around yours as he showed you the delicacy of firing a gun, he viewed it as an art whilst you shook in fear of the mere thought of being in the room with the damn thing.
‘First step, you load your magazine’
Convincing all those with the power to sit in one room in honor of your father-in-law had proved to be a difficult task but one you had been successful at. You needed an audience after all, an audience that could not be paid or coerced, one that would hold those who had fooled them accountable; there was nothing in this world that people with money hated more than to waste their time and resources.
You had spent hours meticulously plotting for this very moment, making sure everything flowed without a hitch and now only a day away you could see the end of the tunnel, a dream that you could almost grasp, almost taste.
It was simple really, if you take a man's reputation then you take everything he has.
Jungkook and his family will no longer be able to stand behind a glass of smoke, and all their deceit and crimes will be exposed, by tomorrow night everyone would know what they have done, and you would finally free yourself from the reigns that had been imposed on you, could finally tell the world the hell you have been through for the past year.
The anticipation alone gives a pep in your step.
You had ensured to hire the best of the best to work alongside you, infiltrating them into the political campaign all while under your pay role. If there was someone who understood how much power money had it was you. hiring the most skilled under the pretense of bettering your father-in-law’s chances all while they remained loyal only to you.
Yoongi had assisted you with gaining Park Jimin, one of the most efficient hackers in the country and he too now was under your payroll, there was no space for failure, there wouldn’t be a place on this earth that the Jeons could crawl to that you wouldn’t find them, there would be no more lies or escaping, they had to pay.
You entered through the door of your home for the last time, the place that had sheltered your deepest anguish. This would be the last day this place would ever see you again, if the Jeons couldn’t guarantee your freedom, you were going to take it back, and behind you stood an army ready to ensure you did. You had purchased a home on the outskirts of the city with the money you had made from your business, a place to call your own where no one could find you, where no one could imprison you.
You stood in the middle of the living room, eyes scanning each inch of the walls that watched you fall apart many times, it was a melancholic feeling, to say the least. The girl who first stepped into this home with dreams and aspirations, who lived unaware of the monster that lurked outside of her illusions, crumbled inside of you and for a moment you could say that you missed that naïve child.
The home was now unoccupied, you had sent Nali, Ha-Yoon, and Boram to prepare your new home, allowing them to live a proper life with independence, no longer under the command of the Jeons. It was the least you could do given their undevoted loyalty to you.
You made your way to your bedroom, taking a moment to reminisce on your time spent here. In your mind you liked to think you were doing this home a favor, offering it a break from witnessing your agony whilst unable to help, to reach out to you in comfort. Eventually, it would get a new owner, a family who could wipe away its past and replace your torment with their harmony.
Tomorrow, you would prepare yourself for the end of the beginning, gone would be the days you would weep within the darkness of your bed, lamenting over how things could’ve been different if you were a better daughter. Those were no longer your thoughts and you prided yourself in that. You concluded that whether you were a good enough daughter or not, no one deserved this. This jail, this life that had been gifted to you like a double-edged blade that caused you to bleed each time you indulged in it.
‘Secondly, cock your gun, make sure there is a bullet in the chamber’
You watched as your acquaintances filled the room, bright smiles on their faces as they greeted each other. You watched your plan come together from afar, pure satisfaction pouring through you with the knowledge that everything was going in accordance with your expectations. It was gratifying to know that all this sacrifice would ultimately bring you exactly what you deserved.
“Miss Y/n” you felt a whisper in your ear, and you turned quickly to find the voice. Jimin stood beside you with a wide grin, his black hoodie blocking your view of his face, you were accustomed to seeing him this way, he always appeared to be calm and quiet but once you got to know him, he was cheeky and sarcastic, and you would often forget he could hack into the government's database if he so desired.
“How are the polls?” you asked eagerly causing Jimin to chuckle.
“Relax Ms. Y/n, Mr. Jeon is leading as we expected” he shrugged, typing away on his phone. “Everything will go to plan, and you will get to see the results of your sleepless nights” he hummed which caused you to smile. You gave him a slight nod and then stepped closer to him, your voice dropping by decibels.
“What about the other thing?” you asked causing Jimin to bite down on his lip, his eyes searching yours knowingly.
“Everything is set, during your father in laws speech the screen there” he pointed at the stage, the black screen sitting tauntingly in your view “will show the crowd the detailed documentary of how the Jeons are a bunch of filthy animals” You couldn’t hold back the smirk that appeared on your face as the affirmation fell from his lips, you had chosen the hall with fewest exits, no running would save the Jeons from the shame and embarrassment of all their wrongdoings and when you glanced around the room again you could see the same men whose faces haunted you at night.
Kim Taehyung, and Jung Hoseok whom you had never seen until today, all the major role players in their organization, would all be exposed too. Your eyes stopped on Yoongi who sat completely still, his head held high as it always did, a small smirk on his lips. He sat amongst them, peacefully waiting for the chaos to begin and the thought almost made you double down in laughter.
“Good work Jimin” you responded before stepping away and making your way to the back of the hall, your work was not over, you still needed to sell yourself as the helping daughter-in-law, your best role yet.
You swiftly moved through the long corridor, you attempted to hold back the smile that threatened to show through your controlled demeanor, the feeling of triumph rushing through you only making you want to crave this revenge more and there would be nothing you wouldn’t do to keep it harbored inside of you.
It wasn’t like you weren’t nervous, if you were being honest the entire thing had you an anxious mess, but there were two kinds of fear, the kind that kept you completely still and the other that made you go into survival mode and right now you were hanging at the edge of a cliff and there was no way in hell you would allow yourself to fall.
You neared the door to the room in which your father-in-law sat, confident in his new achievement. If only he knew all the plans that you had for him, all of which would wipe away his entire distinction. No one else would be fooled or trapped into an unwarranted life like you and your family, this was for the well-being of everyone else, you were doing everyone a favor or at least, that’s what you told yourself.
Your body was suddenly halted by a hand on your arm, the person gripped and dragged you against the wall, causing you to whimper in protest. You readied yourself to fight, to throw punches as you had been taught but once you looked up into the eyes of the perpetrator you could only sigh and look away as Jungkook stood over you. his eyes glared into your skull as his grip remained tight against your arm.
The irritation alone causes you to want to break his hand.
You pushed back the vile taste in your tongue, caused by your one and only husband. You closed your eyes for a moment and then snapped your eyes back at him, a fake smile spreading across your lips.
“Husband” you chirped, annoyed by your own tone.
“Why did you threaten Myung?” he snapped causing your smile to falter for a moment. You pressed your lips together and glanced back at his hand still tightly wrapped around your arm. You reached your hand to meet his and squeezed harshly.
“Jungkook, can you please let go, it hurts” you whispered, your eyes looking in both directions in fear someone could come and find you both in this state. Previously you wouldn’t have cared if Jungkook’s true colors came into view but now, the audience would have to wait for the meticulous plan you had set in motion.
Jungkook sighed, dropping his hand from your arm. You rubbed your hand against it, noticing the guilt in his eyes but just as it had arrived, it was gone. Like a lightning strike and you doubted it was even guilt in the first place.
“What are you planning?” he accused but you remained passive, recalling the words of your mentor. You scanned his face carefully, trying to find out if his paranoia held any rationality. Did he know? Impossible, you had acted as the perfect wife and the perfect daughter-in-law for the last few months, even if it made you want to vomit at every turn.
“What are you talking about my love?” You whispered, a saddened expression settling on your face. He rolled his eyes, a scoff falling past his lips.
“My love? What is this act that you are putting on, just a few months ago you were declaring war against me and my family and now you want me to think that you’ve become this picture-perfect wife?” he spat. you furrowed your eyebrows, anger bubbling inside of your stomach, the evidence in your now flushed cheeks.
“Perhaps you’ve been a snake for so long you can't tell when someone is being genuine” you responded, Jungkook remained still, his eyes staring into yours for what felt like forever. It was uncomfortable to have him look at you in this way like he could smell the deceit off of you.
“There you are” he scoffed, a mug smile erupting upon his face, you noted how close he was standing to you now. The approximation intimidates you, making you feel caged in all over again.
“I'm only going to warn you once in honor of our marriage, you come for me or my family and I will make sure that you never see the light of day again” he stepped closer, causing you to press your body against the wall. he was only a few inches apart now, your noses barely brushing.
“I don’t trust you and I don’t trust your intentions” he breathed, his eyes falling on your lips as he spoke. Your mouth gaped as you looked up at him, his eyes holding contempt while yours reciprocated anger.
“That seems like a personal problem” you whispered, shoving past him.
You took this moment to run down the hall, briefly looking back at him as he held onto the wall for balance. You wish you could say it caused you great joy to see him this paranoid, finally, you had been able to withdraw some sort of emotion from someone who held none but there was no sense in that victory if it wasn’t pain.
You entered the main hall, air clashing inside your lungs as you tried to gather yourself. You reached to fix your skirt, and walked towards the main stage, displaying a bright smile as you passed the very people you had invited. You watched as your father-in-law took his seat in the center of the room, a proud smile on his face as he waited for his win, the one you would willingly give to him. Who were you to deny others their own ruin, he would get everything he wanted.
He would have a price to pay along with his son.
You climbed up the steps towards the stage, your hands forming into fists as adrenaline coursed through your veins, this was the moment you had yearned for so long. You had outdone yourself, reaching a point you didn’t even know you were capable of. This would be the moment you could finally breathe with ease; you couldn’t wait to see the looks on all their faces once they knew the truth.
“Welcome everyone” you spoke into the microphone, gaining the attention of the crowd who murmured within themselves.
“I want to thank everyone who has made themselves present tonight, I know it might have been a hassle to clear your schedules” you joked causing the crowd to respond with laughter. You giggled slightly and glanced over to your father-in-law who smiled from ear to ear. You looked back at the crowd and hummed “I promise that we have been working very hard during this campaign and you will not regret supporting our cause” You finalized, the crowd clapped loudly and you proceeded to take a seat next to Mr. Jeon.
You clapped as he bowed in front of the crowd, his humble demeanor urging a sick feeling inside of you. This family was so good at pretending as long as they got what they wanted, for a moment you couldn’t help but reflect on how similar you had become to them but at least you wouldn’t be hurting any innocent lives to reach your own goal.
You looked down at the technical team, noticing the way Jimin calmly typed away on his computer as he hacked into the system and prepared the video you had worked so hard to put together. Mr. Jeon sat back down beside you and gave you a proud nod.
“I knew I could trust you” he whispered into your ear, and you offered him a small smile.
“Thank You, Mr. Jeon, for entrusting me with such a beautiful experience, surely you will make a wonderful governor.”
And you'll fill the streets with your drugs, you'll increase the crime rate, and eventually destroy the lives of millions.
He gave you a small chuckle “I hope I can meet all the expectations and to think your father was worried about your capabilities” he shrugged before looking back at the crowd with a smile.
The statement caused you to freeze within the chair you sat in, a sharp stabbing pain taking over your chest. you blinked silently for a moment, trying to process the words that had fallen from his mouth.
“Excuse me?” you asked, bewilderment taking over your expression.
What did your father have to do with any of this? He was but a victim in Jungkook’s family scheme, sure he often took their side, but he didn’t know the kind of people they were, or how far they would go to reach their filthy desires. You couldn’t brush away the concern eating at your brain, something you had failed to calculate.
You searched the crowd and found your parents sitting calmly, a smile on both their faces. You turned away and quickly placed your hand on Mr. Jeon's shoulder; he looked back at you, recognizing the conflict in your eyes and concern flashed through his features.
“I’m sorry you said something about my father?” you questioned him once again. he slightly shook his head, regret written all over his expression, like he had made a mistake, and you knew that stare, it was of someone who had just royally fucked up.
“don’t mind me Y/n, the years are getting to me” he chuckled but it did nothing to ease your mind, what role did your father have in all of this? And what did he gain from Mr. Jeon succeeding? You engrossed yourself in your mind, losing presence in the room you had so eagerly wanted to be in before.
The polls flashed on the screen and the crowd began to cheer, you managed to look behind you and Mr. Jeon was in the lead, but you couldn’t bring yourself to look away from your parents, they sat proudly as they always did. there must've been something wrong all this time that you couldn’t see. Were you too naïve to think your parents weren’t unaware of Jungkook’s actual job? Did they sell you off regardless?
You wanted to shake those feelings away, that was impossible. Yes, they had been cruel to trade you off for money, sure they had grown distant with you as time passed but so did you, there was no way in hell they too would be linked to the organization you sought to end.
You were shaken back to reality as Mr. Jeon sat up from his seat taking steps towards the podium and then his colleagues who also sat beside you stood up to cheer and before you knew it, his win had been announced. You had just made Mr. Jeon the governor of the city, you had allowed him passage to do what he wanted along with his corrupt organization. You blinked away the troubling haze from your mind and sat up quickly following closely behind him.
He waited for the guests to seize their cheering; he nodded his head knowingly, raising his hand in appreciation. You stood firm, overtaken by the events that had transpired only moments before, his words still echoing inside of your mind. You averted your eyes to Yoongi. He had remained seated, his face expressionless. He gave you a reassuring nod but he was too far to know the emotions that were flowing through you now.
Your head pounded painfully, overtaken by the possibilities of what Mr. Jeon truly meant, was he trying to discourage you? Did Jungkook tell him about your incident earlier? There was no time to make sense of all of this, you looked back at Jimin who watched from behind his computer. The screen flashed the news, naming Mr. Jeon the new governor, and the loud thoughts inside your mind silenced.
“I want to thank you all so much for your support, I promise that as governor of this great city, I will ensure to keep the city safe and offer my support to every single one of our citizens who are struggling whether it be economically or health-wise, let us join together to make this a better community.”
‘now, pull the trigger’
As the words fell from the mouth of your father-in-law, you raised your hand to brush a strand of your hair behind your ear, the cue you and Jimin had practiced many times before. The small gesture that meant for him to begin the destruction of the family who had taken everything from you. The screen behind you went black but Mr. Jeon remained focused on his speech to notice the sudden change and suddenly the video began to play.
A picture of his face appearing on the screen with blood rolling down his eyes, an idea Yoongi had been very adamant had to be used to cause shock, which as always turned out to be correct. The crowd gasped loudly, clutching their companies and sitting at the edge of their seats, you watched in awe at the realization of a dream that seemed too far-fetched.
“Do you know who Mr. Jeon really is?”
A deep voice spoke from within the speakers, the video continued with pictures of all the unspeakable crimes that Jungkook and his father had committed throughout the city. All the bloodshed and illegal activities on full display for everyone to see. You watched the media roll in with their cameras, focusing on the face of Mr. Jeon who looked enraged at the screen behind him.
You couldn’t help but smile at the presentation, knowing every word by heart as the man continued to narrate the information that had been tightly kept hidden by the police and The crowd continued to gasp as more pictures were presented.
“The hands of our new governor are covered in the blood of the same people he claims he wants to protect and assist when all along his plan has been to murder our people and deepen his earnings with his drug and weapon trade.”
Your eyes scanned the room, havoc taking over as people began to scream, anger and impotence taking over them as they finally knew the truth, the same anger that you had lived with in silence for so long. You looked over at your parents, their faces morphed into that of disgust and then the video continued to the money laundering and watched as your father realized what you had done, his company named in the long list of businesses who had fallen victim to the Jeons money laundering scheme.
He was a victim, right?
Mr. Jeon snapped his face in your direction, the calm and collected facade dropping from his expression and replaced by complete anger. He glared at you, his eyes flaring with fury, and it felt like he was burning you alive.
“FIX THIS” he yelled over the sound of the voice exposing all his dark secrets.
You stood emotionless; your head held high as you remained unfazed by his sudden outburst. If you were to be completely honest, you didn’t know why you were even scared in the first place. He was just a shallow man, a man who bled just like you did.
“Fix what?” you barked, and his eyes widened in comprehension. you took a step back and began walking away from the angered man, you watched as the crowd began to scream and soon the media began asking him questions you knew he didn’t have the answers for, you were the one behind his speeches after all, all this time you had ensured he was viewed as the perfect candidate and now you had left him with nothing.
You made your way back to the corridor leading to the exit, a car waiting for you outside. After this, everything would be over and even if you ended up hurting your parents with the truth it was better that they knew, now there would be no more secrets, no more guilty tears spilling from your eyes. It wasn’t your burden to carry anyway. You had been protecting them and now it was time for them to protect themselves.
“Where do you think you are going?”
The voice made your steps halt and you turned on your heel to face Jungkook as he came running down the corridor, you could see the disgust in his eyes, but you weren’t scared to face him, if anything you had been prepared for it.
“Do you know what you just did” he shouted, your silence only further lighting the fury flowing past him. He snatched your arm causing your feet to stumble in place. You reached for his hand, forcing his touch away from you. his eyes held disdain but yours flashed war inside of them, you reached forward to twist his hand away from your skin, but he was relentless, his anger making him incapable of feeling the pain you were exerting.
“Did you think my threats were empty? I will make you and your family suffer in the same way you have made mine suffer” you spat, pushing him back and taking a step away. He stepped towards you again, his hand reaching to grab you once again, but you moved out of the way, grabbing his hand and twisting it behind his back.
“Do you think you can just do what you want and leave unscathed?” he yelled causing you to flinch. He used all his strength to turn over and his hand locked in with your throat, he corned you against the wall, grabbing both your hands as you tried to fight him off and pinning them above your head.
He squeezed his hand tightly around your neck, interrupting the airflow to your lungs. Your vision began to blur, and your lungs cried out for oxygen, but his grip remained firm and you knew you were once again trapped.
“I want to remind you that your parents are sitting in that room right now and if you don’t pay for what you’ve done, they will” he bit. You screamed out in anger; his words enticing you to react violently, your knee came up quickly, clashing harshly against his groin leading him to collapse on the floor with a loud groan. You stood over him, your breaths labored as you approached his body on the floor.
“don't you ever try to threaten me or my family ever again!” You shouted. You felt dizzy, adrenaline rushing through you quickly as you tried to regain your breath, you heaved reaching the wall for support and then you felt his hand clasp around your ankle, and he pulled with as much force as he could until your body collapsed on the ground.
The drop knocked out the little air you had mustered to inhale, and your body tensed at the impact.
He climbed over you, using his body weight to keep you pressed against the ground and you screamed out in impotence, the anger running through causing hot tears to spill out of your eyes. “Let me go Jungkook!” You screamed, his face was mere inches away, and you could feel his labored breaths fanning against your face as you tried to twist away from his grasp, you kicked and slammed your hand against his chest, but he wouldn’t budge, he had you at his mercy.
“Y/n” he barked, and you stared into his eyes, you could see the agony in them, despair begging out to you. You looked away, a small sob escaping your mouth.
“Why can’t you just let me go?” you whimpered.
“Why can’t you understand that you can't just go around destroying everything because of your pride!” he shouted, and you looked back at him with shock in your expression, pride? He thought this was all because your ego had been hurt. He would never understand, no matter how much you poured out in pain, he would never get it.
You pushed him away with your arm and with the other you landed a punch in his face, his body swinging to the side, finally liberating yourself from underneath him. You crawled away and used the wall next to you to stand on your feet. you made a run down the corridor, the view of the exit door taunting you as your lungs burned.
It only took a moment for him to follow behind, his steps heavy as he ran after you.
This was your chance to escape, to leave behind all your torments and Jungkook couldn’t take this away from you.
You threw yourself against the door and swung it open, the car waited for you across the parking lot, but you could feel your legs begin to ache. You could hear him yell out your name, but you didn’t dare stop, not even when your heart ached, not even if you wanted to turn around and look at him one last time.
You had concluded that you couldn’t care, that even if you wanted with every fiber of your being to run in his direction, that was not your place, it never was. Being Jungkook’s wife was only a title, a title that was too heavy for you to carry and you hated yourself for the fact that you still felt some kind of connection towards that man, and you hated your parents even more for raising you in this way.
“Y/n don’t you fucking dare get in that car or I swear to fucking god-“ your legs gave out and you stumbled forward, your body colliding with the black SUV that waited for your arrival, you could hear him closing in and you reached for the gun strapped to your thigh, removing the safety.
You turned and pointed the gun directly at him.
He stopped running, his hands reaching to pull out his own gun, you inhaled sharply, the cold breeze cutting into your skin as you both stood face to face, guns drawn out ready to shoot at any twitch of a muscle. You soon realized that you had never been pointed at with a gun and it only made it that much worse that it was him pointing at you. Did he think that he hadn’t caused enough pain to you? Would this be the last thing he took from you? your life?
He was more skilled than you and probably had used his gun to take plenty of lives while you were just a novice, someone whose hands had only shot at fake targets.
“Y/n don’t be a fool put it down” he shouted.
You cocked the gun, setting a bullet into the chamber. He scoffed and then took a step forward causing you to tighten your grip on the weapon “Move and I’ll shoot you Jeon don’t tempt me” you responded.
“what are you a killer now? is that what you want? To be like every sick fuck in there?” he shouted. he knew what nerves to hit, what to say to make you succumb to your own thoughts, but it wouldn’t work this time, you had put too much on the line to let your guilt overtake you. you noticed the blood dripping from his mouth, caused by the punch you had landed on his face and your hand trembled.
“Come on you aren’t like this Y/n” he whispered, he took closer steps towards you and you raised your gun into the air, letting out 2 shots before pointing the gun back at him, you could hear the sound of his shoes halting against the grabble, his eyes widened in shock as he stared you as if he didn’t recognize you.
“You don’t know anything about me” you responded.
You heard the car door slam shut and then footsteps as your driver made his way by your side, his own loaded gun in hand. “Do we have a problem Madam?” his voice was calm, as his finger remained on the trigger, you glanced over at him and shook your head.
“No, I was just saying my final goodbyes,” your voice trembled.
Jungkook stood defeated, his hand reaching to brush away the blood trickling down his chin. You had never seen him react in this way, it truly made you reconsider the cold person you thought he was, all this time he hid himself under a mask of carelessness, and yet behind all of that was a man unraveling with emotions. You lowered your gun, your eyes fixed on him for another short while, you allowed the silence to simmer and then you slipped inside the car, ignoring the subtle pain in his eyes.
From the window you could see Jungkook standing alone, his eyes stuck on the black SUV in which you had just sped off in. You were supposed to be happy, to feel liberation coursing through your veins but instead, you only felt guilt in its place.
‘Lastly, reload your gun.’
-
𝐈'𝐯𝐞 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐚 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫
𝐇𝐞𝐲 𝐠𝐮𝐲𝐬! 𝐢 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐨𝐲𝐞𝐝! 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐨𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 & 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐢 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐲𝐨𝐮!
𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐬𝐤/𝐝𝐦 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭!
© 𝐂𝐫𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞, 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐝.
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love maze, s.jy.
chapter nine pairing: jake x afab!reader word count: tbd (series)
masterlist
genre: college!au, mutual friends, fake dating, smut.
synopsis: an unfortunate encounter, drunken mistakes, and a sort of (definitely) stalker leads jake sim ‘dating’ his best friend’s childhood crush.
or, your life gets intertwined with a rich boy’s in attempt to not get sued by his crazy personal fangirl and like with all good cliches, sex overcomplicates things.
contents: smut, sort of strangers to fuck buddies to lovers pipeline, childhood best friend!jay, mentions of best friend! yunjin, curly haired & mixed reader, uni!au, rich nepo baby!jake, enha frat boys, lots of kissing, fake dating turning into fwb real quick, totally way too into it for it to be fake early on, big booty reader that’s jake’s obsessed with, partying and alcohol use, slight violence, he fell first and harder trope, stem bf & writer gf, (kinda overly) possessive jake, some angst to spice things up, daddy issues, hyper independent reader who struggles with her feelings, fluff and happy ending!!
a/n: hello~ i’ve never been a tumblr girly but i have went through my w*ttpad era back in 2018 so bare with me y’all. this will be a series but not that long (i hope) so pls look forward to it. warning tags will be placed before each “chapter” to specify what to expect. pls pls reblog and interact, i’d love to have feedback and see what your thoughts are. okay! yay, for now enjoy and thank you sm :D
MDNI, 18+
tap below to continue
CHAPTER NINE: JEALOUSY
previous masterlist next
word count: 4.1k
warnings: minjun is being a stalker, that’s sort of it??
a/n: IM SORRY IVE BEEN GONE FOR SO LONG. i’m working + doing an internship at the same time so im exhausted everyday since being an adult SUCKS so i’ve neglected writing (though i have a new idea for a smau lol) and this not that great but i wanted to provide something for you guys </3 jake is down horrendous and not even hiding it now it’s crazy
"PLEASE STOP STARING," Ni-ki whined, throwing an ice cube in Jake's direction who was perched at the counter with a giddy smile. You were on the other side of the store, in the midst of barring out drinks before turning to help your coworker with a unsatisfied customer.
It was different to see you in your element, of course to you it being a mere barista job but Jake couldn't deny how much a leadership position suited you. You were good at quite literally everything, barely paying him mind when he waltzed in 20 minutes ago due to the afternoon rush but seeming calm and collected as you handled the line of drinks that seemed never ending. You looked as pretty as ever in his eyes, your haired pulled up by the clip in your hair and bare skin that seemed to be glowing.
You were called in last minute by a fellow shift as they weren't able to come in due to an emergency. Knowing Ms. Cho would've been the one to cover, something you couldn't bare to make her do as she was meant to take the week off due to spraining her wrist, and not wanting to leave Ni-ki hanging you canceled on the previous study-date you had scheduled with Jake much to his disappointment.
Lo and behold though, said boy decided that he had all the time in the world to wait for you. After you called him on your break, excited that a coworker would be coming in to do the closing tasks, telling him you'd be off at 6:30 instead of 10, Jake stopped by an hour before your shift would end deeming that allowing him to treat you to dinner would make up for the raincheck.
"Bro honestly, I know she's your girlfriend but can't you go sit down at least," Ni-ki's voice breaks his thoughts once more. Jake merely rolled his eyes, waving off the boy who looked exasperated by his presence.
"Yah, whatever. You're just bitter 'cause you’re bitchless," Jake began to tease, watching as the younger boy rolled his eyes and discretely flipped him off without the other customers taking note.
There was a familiar jingle from the door, Ni-ki's eyes looking past him to greet whoever walked in but his face turned into one of visible disgust. Immediately making his way in your direction without a word, Jake curiously turned around with his brows frowned to see what caused such a reaction.
A small scoff left Jake's lips, watching Minjun b-line to where you were behind the bar with Ni-ki glued to your side and staring him down like a guard dog. A small smirk picks at his lips, Jake waiting patiently, watching from afar to see what he planned on saying as you'd be able to handle it yourself.
"___," Minjun spoke, attempting to gain your attention but you merely lifted your gaze for a second as you focused on the drinks you had sequenced. "Can we talk?"
"I'm busy," You said dryly, sending him a pointed look as you were on shift quite literally in the middle of working. "If you need something you can ask my other staff to help you,"
"Are you seriously going to ignore me?"
"Are you seriously showing up to my job when I told you to leave me alone?" You shot back, brow raising in disbelief. "It's harassment, do you want me to call the cops?"
Minjun bit his lip, seemingly collecting his thoughts to carefully piece what he intended to say next. "You're ignoring my texts, how else am I supposed to talk to you?"
"I blocked you," You answer with a small shrug. "I don't want to talk to you. We have no reason to either way, it was your idea to move on with our lives in the first place so I don't see what you need from me now,"
"It was a mistake," Minjun attempts but a loud scoff comes from your end at his words. Feeling yourself grow more and more annoyed, you take a second to collect your thoughts, having to silently remind yourself that there were a handful of other customers that you still needed to be portrayed to in a professional light.
Your eyes flickered to the left, feeling the familiar gaze boring into your side. You met Jake's look, his brows slightly pinched as he held an unreadable expression glancing over Minjun. His arms were crossed against his chest, leaned against the front counter while his head tilted in the smallest of ways meeting your eyes. Silently indicating whether of not you wanted him to intervene, you shook your head, turning over to Ni-ki who was still on gaurd just a step behind you.
"Can you take over for me?" You ask the younger boy, his eyes softening as he glanced down to you with a small nod. Telling Sooyun the same, you leave the two on the floor to handle the customer flow and walk away from Minjun without a word. He attempted to follow along the counter that kept you separated, only to stop short noting how you met Jake at the break that separated the workers and customer side.
"You okay?" Jake asks softly, his hand finding its place in your own as he traced his thumb over your palm in attempt to offer some ease to your mind.
"I don't know why he keeps trying," You mumble out, swallowing the lump in your throat while Jake pursed his lips. You had to admit, no matter how unaffected you attempted to seem, having Minjun back and weaseling his way into your life was slowly opening up old wounds that never fully healed. It felt exhausting seeing his face, much less feeling trapped in your own workplace since that seemed to be his resort to finding you no matter how many hints you've given to leave you be.
"You want me to call the guys and we can jump him out back?" Jake offers, the teasing in his voice caused you to laugh though the glint in his eyes made it hard for you to tell if he was entirely joking. "I could take him on my own but I'm sure Jay wants a few hits at him anyway,"
"So does Ni-ki," You snicker, glancing over to the boy who had his eyes trained on Minjun with a menacing glare. "I don't have the money to bail all seven of you out though so let's not do that,"
A cocky smile fell upon Jake's lips knowing well enough his next words would cause you to grimace. "It's okay baby, I'm rich remember?"
You roll your eyes but couldn't refrain from the small laugh that fell from your lips. "You're annoying," You huff, though the giggle that filtered through your words had Jake smiling from ear to ear. Leaning closer, he's quick to place a kiss to your lips, your eyes widening as you pulled away with a tsk. "I'm on the clock, stop making me look like a bad worker,"
"No one's looking," Jake reassures, not even sparing a glance around the room but he's sure of himself. His hands fell to your hips, pulling you in closer and technically he was right, the large pastry case and stack of boxes that you had yet to be able to put away had blocked a significant amount of view of where you two stood, someone would have had to come around the corner to see you two if they really wanted to.
A clear of someone's throat caused the two of you to pull away from the giddy bubble you were in. Your annoyance flooded back in a second while Jake lazily looked over his shoulder, his eyes lighting up taking note of Minjun who stood with a dark expression.
"What's up man?" Jake smiled, turning as he said so but still keeping one arm draped around your waist though you shifted slightly in your spot. His grip tightened feeling how you attempted to move, squeezing your hip as a silent way to tell you to stay in place at his side. "You need something?"
"Can you give us a minute?" Minjun's words were short and clipped, the visible annoyance dripping from his persona.
"Don't think so," He hummed with the click of his tongue. "M'names Jake," Holding out his hand with a cheeky smile, Jake waited for Minjun to introduce himself. You had to refrain from the laugh that wanted to spill from your lips, the obviously annoying but polite tactic one you wouldn't have guessed he'd play but it seemed to work better than being possessive or immediately hostile.
"Minjun," Was all he replied with, not bothering to complete the handshake Jake intended. Turning his gaze to you, he near pleaded in a softer tone. "Can we just talk?"
Jake let out a loud sigh, dropping his hand with the shake of his head. "You know, man, I wouldn't have held nothing against you but you're really making my girl uncomfortable," His previous bubbly expression was gone, now replaced with a bored one that shamelessly glanced over Minjun. "You know me personally, I don't go for girls I broke up with, especially after she told me to leave her alone and she has a new man. That's just me though,"
"No offense man, but I know you two just got together. Your new relationship doesn't compare to us," Minjun shrugs while you let out a laugh of disbelief. You and Jake were more comfortable together, by miles, in a short amount of time even if your relationship was based on a facade. After the first two months with Minjun, it felt as though you were walking on eggshells everyday to keep him around, a feeling you remember all too well and ridicule yourself for staying in for so long.
"I mean, you're the ex for a reason right? Our relationship s’not supposed to be like yours," Jake shrugs, a humorless laugh left his lips.
"You guys don't even make sense together!" Minjun was now speaking to you, gesturing between you both with an exasperated expression. "His life is completely different from yours and you know it, why waste time now when it won't even work out,"
You frowned yours brows, not knowing how much he had looked into Jake but either way, being so ambient on your differences seemed to rub you the wrong way. What exactly was he entailing? The fact that Jake was a party guy or he was rich? You grew up attached to the hip with Jay, sure you weren't directly apart of that life but you did know how to act with a cocktail dress and dinning etiquette when you needed to. You truly lacked nothing if the relationship was real and so far, Jake didn't either.
"It's cute to know you've been thinking about me," Before you were able to voice your thoughts, Jake beat you to it. His tone was teasing, though there was a slight edge to it indicating that the cat and mouse play going back and forth was something he began to grow tired of. His had squeezed your hip, somehow subconsciously knowing that your agitation grew as well, it a silent reminder that he was there for you.
Minjun scoffed, seemingly ready to retort but Jake shook his head. "You know, I don't really like being a dick and all," He starts, a small huff of air leaving his lips as if it pained him to continue. Jake's eyes flickered to you, he winked before the bored look was sent back toward Minjun. "But I do take advantage of the benefits that come from my family. Let's just make it easier on all of us since getting the lawyers involved is always so messy, yeah?"
Your eyes widened slightly, certainly not having any thought of any legal precedent but the threat should've been more than enough to get his point across. You felt a shiver run up your spine, thinking back to weeks ago when you got yourself into the situation you were now. She totally would've sued me.
There was a clear of the throat that broke the tension between you three. Ni-ki making his presence known as he sends Minjun a rather large, but most obviously fake, smile.
"I'm afraid I'll have to ask you to leave since I've had a few customer complaints from the situation that's occurring," He says in his peppy customer service voice, the faux sympathy in his tone adding salt to the wound. Looking around, you take note of the lie considering the lobby had cleared out significantly and not a single person in sight was paying any mind to what was occurring in the corner but you were certainly thankful for the deescalation.
Minjun doesn't say a word. His eyes lock with yours, the silent communication causing you to feel uneasy. For a split second, you almost felt bad for him seeing the look of pleading sincerity, for a second he seemed like the boy you once knew and you couldn't deny the slight tug in your heart that longed for the past. But as Jakes’ hand made its presences know on your back, you shook out of the temporary daze, you subtly moved behind him, using Jake as a shield of sorts and looking away.
You weren't naive enough to fall for that. And your thoughts proved right as Minjun's expression changed in an instant, the look of anger and annoyance familiar but he merely turned and made his way out of the shop without hesitation.
The bitter feeling caused your stomach to turn, picking at the skin of your fingers as you pulled out your phone to check the time.
"You okay noona?" Ni-ki carefully asked, His brows were pinched, a slight frown at his lips taking note of your visibly discomfort.
You nod, placing a smile on your features but it didn't quite reach your eyes. You looked behind him, seeing Sooyun working by herself. "I'm alright, I need to finish my pull before Hejin comes in so support where you can for now," You delegate, already heading toward the back room while footsteps followed soon after.
Jake sighed watching you walk away. He didn't know the full story, certainly didn't want to know the details of how in love you were, but he did know that Minjun was important enough to still bother you after some time apart. A small part of him was selfish, never wanting you to think of anyone like that but him, even though your relationship wasn't even real in the first place, but he knew that was his own jealousy.
The larger part of him felt upset for you though, the crestfallen expression you held more than enough for him to want to hold you and wash all your worries away. In a perfect world, Jake would make sure you'd never feel sad again. He vows to never be the one responsible for your tears, and if he were he'd kick himself and beg for the room in your heart to forgive him.
You stopped by the back freezer, facing the stainless steel doors and you could see Jake's reflection behind you. "I'm alright," You repeat, not having the confidence to turn around knowing your eyes were glossing over and the lump in your throat grew.
Jake hummed, watching you from afar. He watched as you began to count the frozen pastries, having to go over twice losing your train of thought and seemingly looking around aimlessly. You let out a sigh, leaning your head against the frozen rack as you shut your eyes, the cold air that wrapped around your body caused goosebumps to form along your arms, though it did well in stopping the tears that were built up to the brim.
"You know, you're technically not supposed to be back here," You mumble, a hint of amusement in your words though you were rather dejected.
Jake chuckled, shaking his head while you couldn't see it. The two of you stood in silence, not knowing what to say that would make it better. Heavy footsteps sounded as someone entered the back of the house, you peaking from behind the freezer door while Jake straightened up.
Hejin pointed a finger at you as she pulled her apron over her head. Your brows frowned, clicking on the tablet that was stuck to the door to see it only be 5:50. Her keys jangled in her pocket, the lollipop in her mouth muffling her words. "Go home,"
"What?" You let out a small laugh, amused by the loud groan she let out upon her apron getting stuck while pulling it down. "It's not 6:30,"
"I'm here now so go," Hejin huffs, pulling at her ponytail as she nods towards Jake, a silent acknowledgment to his presence but not bothering to ask why he was beside you. "I saw creeps-a-lot in the parking lot. The kid and Sooyun were blowing up my phone to get me here so I chased him away. Go home and relax, I'll make a incident report to let everyone and Mama Cho know to not talk about you and refuse him service from now on,"
Your lips pull into a frown, the tears once again welding up in your eyes. You covered your face out of embarrassment, Hejin clicking her tongue as she waved you off.
"Ay, don't cry," She tuts. "He's not worth it, new boyfriend hug her!" Hejin directs, gesturing between you and Jake causing you to let out a laugh. Jake tilted his head, his arms open as you reluctantly stepped into his embrace. You refused to look at him directly, hiding behind your hands though you could see the fondness in his expression as he stared down at you. "Good, now get out of here. Pretty girls should never cry over ugly men,"
With that, Hejin was out onto the floor. You stifled your laughter, heart pulling at the thought of your work family. She, in particular, was known to be rough around the edges, not one to show praise or direct affection but small acts like these were truly the most meaningful. You made a mental note to treat them in the future, thankful for the saving grace.
Jake pulled away from the hug slight, a small smile perking at his lips as he tilted his head. He gently pulled away your hands from your face, wiping away the few stray tears with the same fond look.
"You know, I don't know how to feel about you crying over another man," He teased causing you to roll your eyes. "Guess I have a lot of work to do to make you forgive him,"
"Forgive?" You echo, raising a brow not following his words.
Jake nods. "You know, for being an idiot but at least it allowed for me and you which is like, a million times better," He says in the most obvious voice causing you to snicker. "Forgive but not forget, or whatever it is that people say,"
"Have you been looking at pinterest quotes?" You laugh while Jake begins to nod wholeheartedly.
"You put me on, it's honestly so chill scrolling. I have like, five different boards I've made so far,"
"Rookie numbers," You tease causing him to mock offense.
"They all have certain aesthetics and are listed in order," He offers causing you to hum.
You nod in approval. "Better,"
Noting that your mood had seem to raise, Jake leans in, placing a small peck to the tip of your nose causing you to let out a small squeal. Your face scrunches up, pulling away from him while he lets out a laugh.
"C'mon, you owe me your time and I think I have the perfect idea to get your pretty little mind off everything,"
"YOU’RE JOKING?"
"What?"
You sent Jake a pointed look, smiling down at the excited animal that jumped into your arms, licking the skin of your cheek while your heart nearly bursted at the sight of her tail wagging so happily. "We've been faking it for over a month and you decided to just tell me you had a dog?"
"Her name's Layla," He laughs, crouching down to the level which you were sat on the floor. As soon as you walked into the door of the unfamiliar apartment, you were greeted by soft paws jumping at your leg along with excited barks for attention. "This is my brother's place, she's a family dog but he has her most of the time since my parents are always out of town. He's on a trip with his friends so he asked me to watch her for the week," Jake cooed as he pet Laylas fur, eyes full of affection and love as she leaned into his touch.
“I’ll watch her for the week,” You smile, gaining her attention once more as you scratched at the spot just behind Laylas’ ears. Her eyes shut as you did so, a small giggle leaving your lips as the dog visibly relaxed to your petting. “I’ll keep her company while you party or whatever you do in that frat house,”
Jake rolled his eyes, his view set on you but you were far too focused on Layla to care. “I haven’t gone to a party in weeks, and if I do you’re with me,” He says pointedly as you merely hum.
“Exactly, you can go do what you want. I’ll stay here with the cutest little puppy I’ve ever seen,” The latter half of your sentence was spoken in a high voice, cooing at Layla who seemed to be happily responsive to it.
Though he liked seeing how well you got along with his childhood pet, Jake tsked. Maybe it was a bad idea bringing you to see her, all of your attention would go to the little border collie instead of him which, admittedly, he couldn’t have.
“What I want,” Jake starts, leaning over to flood your view. “Is for you to not love my dog more than me,” He finished, dangerous close to your lips as you blinked, a small snort leaving your lips.
“Well for one, I barely tolerate you so Layla wins by a long shot,” You tease causing his lips to pout. Lightly pushing Jake away, he ends up sitting directly in front of you, Layla happily pouncing into his lap but still begging for you to provide her with scratches as she rolled over onto her back to expose her stomach. “And two, you can’t be jealous over your own dog. She’s just too cute,”
Jake sighed half heartedly. “You kicking me to the curb now for my dog?”
“Precisely,” You nod, a wide grin playing at your lips that you were unable to resist. It was still between the two of you for a moment, Jake taking the silence to gently place Layla down onto the ground beside you. You rose a brow, noting how he inched closer causing you to move back. “Hey~”
His arms were suddenly thrown around your body, one around your waist while the other was behind your head, blocking the impact of him suddenly tackling you to the hardwood floor. Your laughter filled the air, arms stuck under the weight of his chest and your faces inches apart.
“Too bad, you’re not allowed to get rid of me,” Jake huffs though there was an amused smile playing at his lips. “Say you like me more,”
You gaped in disbelief. “Are you serious?” The response to your question ended up with Jake’s fingers dancing along the skin of your waist, your shirt riding up and him knowing how ticklish you were as you began to squirm beneath him. “H-hey! Okay, s-stop—”
“Say it,” Jake taunts, his laughter mixing with yours.
“O-okay—”
Layla’s loud barks suddenly broke the air before the view of her jumping onto Jake’s head was seen. Your laughs were now from seeing how he yelped at the sudden help you received, rolling off of your body and with Layla still attacking his face with an abundance of kisses, you sat up. Now straddling Jake’s waist, you returned the favor of poking your fingers into his side, moving until you found a spot by his ribs that caused him to squirm around.
“Hey! You can’t team up against me,” Jake called out, unable to move either of you due to the way you sat and how Layla was now perched on his chest to get a better angle of sloppy kisses that he attempted to block. “She’s trying to lick my nose! Baby please—”
“What? I’m giving you attention like you wanted,”
my tags!! @slutforsjy @jaklvbub @whowantshota @addictedtohobi @coolwitu @simjyunnie @kgneptun @graythecoffeebean @143ikeu @zyvlxqht @tesywesy @nxzz-skz @aishisgrey @enczen @vanvity @dreamiestay @caitysdelusions @ikkeumyluv @v3lv3tsin
#enhypen#enhypen jake#jaeyun x reader#sim jaeyun#jake sim#enha x reader#jaeyun smut#jake x reader#enha#enhypen jake smut#enhypen series#jake enhypen#enha series#enhypen jaeyun#enha masterlist#enhypen masterlist
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hiiii!!!!
i thoight i’d do this the normal way instead of begging u in dms sOO MINJUN AND CREEP READER WHEN PLEASE PLEASE i’m down on one knees rn <333
this man could ruin my whole life and everything i’ve worked for and i would so gladly let him 😋😋
i don’t wanna fix him. i literally just wanna make him worse xoxo
Different sides of the same coin.
💌 ⤻ THE ACADEMIC RIVAL, SEO MIN-JUN
—> you damn creep.
⤻ reader is gender neutral, reader is almost as bad as min-jun, reader is down bad fr, obsessive behaviour, posessive behaviour, snooping, invasion of privacy, reader AND min-jun are red flags, a bit suggestive
notes: ain't no way you actually put an ask in for this 💀 but yes, you asked, and I delivered <33 also, I feel like all the anons in my inbox would absolutely eat this up, this is literally them/j (ngl, my writing kinda sucks here sorry yall-)
🦋 ⤻ archives.
Min-jun studied all the different things littered inside that heart-shaped box of yours. When he first saw it sticking out of your schoolbag, he felt immediate jealous, assuming it wad a gift from someone in your class, or something you would be giving to someone else.
Naturally, he decided to steal it.
He sat at his desk, the student council room deserted as everyone had already left, per his request. He studied the contents of the box with lazy eyes. For months, he had tortured you and for months, you seemed to not care; which honestly made him more pissed off with you.
He pursed his lips as he waited for you to enter the student council's office. Min-jun looked at the box again, sifting through all the different notes he had left you. The ones that told you to kill yourself, the ones that fantasised about pushing you off a roof or watching you suffer, the ones that begged you to leave him alone, to not torment him with your mere presence; you had kept all of them. All tucked in this... heart-shaped box.
"You must really be a freak." He let out a chuckle as he closed the red box, holding it up to his face. The box even smelled like the cologne he liked to wear to school, subtle but noticeable. He let out a groan as he imagined the things he would say to you when you got into his office, how irritated he was with you that you — pathetic, poor, useless you — had seduced him.
Right, you seduced him.
You were the one who decided to show off and get higher grades than him. You looked at him every time he spoke with those obsessed eyes of yours. It was all your fault, not his!
Just then, the doors to the office opened, revealing you standing there. Min-jun tapped his fingers on the box knowingly, wanting you to see that he had caught you in this perverted act.
"Care to explain to me what this is?" He asked, fishing out all the various notes and pictures from the box, holding them up despite your obvious embarassment.
You tried to cover it up, but it was clear that you enjoyed the fact he had caught you in such a precarious situation. "I was just- you kept bullying me, so I was gathering evidence!" You managed to scrounge up a somewhat believable excuse.
"You collected evidence in a heart-shaped box?" He snickered, bemused by your attempts to seem normal.
"It was the only box I had..." You kept trying to lie, but Min-jun saw straight through your pretty little lies.
"And why does your box of evidence contain pictures of me doing everyday things? Not very incriminating evidence, and yet, you kept it in your 'evidence' box."
"I-"
"Don't lie."
Both of you stared into each others' eyes, his glare mixed with an undertone of want and obsession, yet he would never admit it. Yours, filled with embarassment and desire. You were so close to breaking down.
Min-jun got up from his desk and walked over towards you. You froze on the spot, your hands wandering towards the sliding door of the office, but before you could even try to escape, Min-jun had grabbed your wrists. "Did I say you can leave?" He asked softly, his tone so affectionate it almost made your knees buckle under the tension.
"N-no." Your cheeks reddened as your eyes made their way to his hands that gripped your wrist. Slowly, your eyes glanced over at his lips and how close he was, the cologne he wore that was perhaps too mature for both your ages, mimicking the scent of an older person. His eyes darkened the moment he saw your eyes rake over his lips.
"Is that it?" He asked, leaning in closer as he guided you towards the armrest of the couch in the student council office, pushing you against it so you would sit; so he could tower over you. "You're just some pervert who likes to be bullied and harassed?" He asked softly, his gaze growing more intense by the second.
You stared, your lips parted, unable to respond as he had caught you red-handed.
A sense of jealousy spilled into his heart as his hands gripped you tighter, which would no doubt leave bruises.
"So as long as someone bullies you, you fall for them? Are you some sort of creep?" Min-jun interrogated, leaning so close that you fall back onto the couch, a small 'oomph' escaping your lips as you both fall back. Min-jun's arms trap you between him and the sofa, his cheeks now matching yours in the same shade of crimson. He doesn't move, his hands on both sides of your head.
"Answer me. Would you like anyone else if they did the kind of stuff I did to you?" He asked, desperation straining his voice. Min-jun wanted to know he was special to you, that you would only ever be infatuated — no, in love — with him.
You remained silent.
"Tell me, damn it!" Frustration seeped out as he grabbed your face now, cheeks reddening not out of him being flustered, but instead out of rage. "You come here, to my school, decide to top me in every subject I've always been the best at, and then you suddenly decide to collect all these things from me, treating them like cheesy love letters rather than threats. What the hell is up with you? I don't get you, I just can't understand you." He said, his breath hitting your face in huffs.
"You make me lose my mind. I've never- I've always felt so indifferent to everyone else, but you make me do things that... that make me disgusted with myself." He continued, remembering all the times he used his monthly allowance to hire private investigators behind his family's back just to find out more about your interests and hobbies. Asking for photos of you, asking for *clothes* from your laundry pile. He was sick of himself, sick that he would ever so such a thing. But he was addicted.
To you, to your scent, to your gaze, to everything about you he wished he could claim.
"Tell me you feel the same way." He demanded suddenly.
It was his right. You had to feel the same way.
Without even thinking, you pulled Min-jun down to you, gripping his face so tightly that your nails drew blood from his cheeks. Your lips slammed together, any harder and one of you might have lost a tooth, but both of you didn't think about that. Your eyes were closed, but Min-jun's were wide open. "You really do like tempting me." He muttered into your mouth as his hands pinned yours to the couch.
"You must really like me." Min-jun babbled on between your lips, licking and biting your bottom lip, sucking on it like his life depended on it. "Tell me, [y/n], tell me you need me." He wanted to be worshipped by you, he wanted to worship you.
"I need you so badly." You whispered back, allowing him to take control as you whimpered below him. "Please don't stop."
His hands travelled slowly to your neck. "Don't stop what? Kissing you?" He asked, pulling away, "Or don't stop bullying you." His voice boomed with laughter, loving that flustered and needy look on your face; so red to the point he wanted to take a bite of your cheek to see whether it tasted like apples.
"Both, please." You whispered submissively, letting him claim your lips repeatedly.
"Don't worry, I'm never stopping. You won't be able to run from me, even if you wanted to." He smiled, and for a moment, you missed the dangerous glint in his eyes. "You belong to me, okay?" He asked one last time, not giving you the chance to answer before diving back into your lips.
Now that you had given him confirmation that you loved him, you would never stop loving him. Min-jun would make sure of that.
#yandere imagines#yandere oc#yandere drabble#yandere male x reader#male yandere x reader#yandere x reader#yandere male#ask#mutuals#yandere blog#male yandere#yandere#yandere academic rival
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Hey love ur writings! Could you write a shot with Mark the way u wrote for doyoung pls? The needy doyoung and wife trying to find privacy to do it lol
w!: aged up mark (28yo) but only if you care enough to do the math, outdoor teasing, fingering, oral (f receiving), unprotected s*x, romantic (i guess?)
a/n: dad!nct is making me feel things ngl. anyway, thanks, and hope you’ll like this!
You and Mark have a long story. You had been dating for five years when he decided to pop the question. And now, five years of marriage and two kids later, you’re still as in love as you were when you first met.
And if love is still in the air, the same thing can be said about passion. Mark is still as clingy as he was ten years ago. He will never help you cook (for the safety of the family, he washes and dries the dishes) but he will always make sure to tease you, wrapping his hands around your waist and kissing your neck while he whispers things to your ear, at times innocent, at times things that would make you want to have him right there and then. And you’d do it if only it weren’t for the little ones running around the house.
He even dares to tease you when you’re outside, busy taking care of the garden. “You used to be braver when we were younger,” he pouts when you slap his hand away, looking around fearing the neighbours might see. “Exactly, we were younger.”
“Oh, so the rumours are true,” Mark chuckles, “you can’t take me anymore?”
“Oh, please, shut up, Lee,” you say, playfully kicking him with a swing of the hips.
“You sure you can?” He teases, kissing your neck while his hands wander on your body, this time cupping your right boob with no impediment.
Your breath falters as you try to keep your focus on the plants, and you hum in reply.
“The neighbours are out,” he whispers, dibbling your neck after moving your hair to the side. “We can have a bit of fun.”
You let out a low moan, head rolling back while the hold on the watering can loosens. “Mark,” you whimper when his other hand reaches down, moving on your clit through the fabric of the long dress you’re wearing.
“Mommy! Daddy! Minjun is drawing on the wall!” Minseo’s scream immediately makes Mark pull away and you drop the can from your hands, splashing it all on your clothes.
“I can’t do this anymore,” you sigh exhausted, looking at your husband in disbelief.
Mark chuckles, kissing you briefly. “Get changed, I’ll take care of the modern Pollock,” he says before running inside with your oldest daughter.
You wish this wasn’t a constant, but it is. Every time you two have some moments alone, something happens. You don’t get mad, after all, Minjun is only two years old and wants to explore the world, especially now that he learned how to walk. But you miss those old days when he would spend most of the time sleeping or playing in the playpen.
“Mommy!” It’s a Friday afternoon when you think you might finally have the opportunity for something to happen, after Minseo comes back from school with your husband with a big smile on her face.
“Hi, honey. How was school?”
“Great! A friend invited me to her place tonight. Can I go?” She asks, swinging her body side by side as she waits for your answer.
“Of course, you can,” you reply, smiling back. “Come on, let’s go prepare the bag.”
Getting Minjun to sleep is harder than usual, and you fear that night won’t go as you exactly planned. But you still succeed to make him fall asleep before Mark comes back from dropping Minseo, and have time to get ready.
You forgot how it felt to slip into lingerie and admire yourself in the mirror, and you can’t wait for Mark to see it.
“Fuck,” it’s the first thing Mark says when he sees you as soon as he enters the place. “You look — shit — you look perfect.”
You giggle, finding endearing how his reaction is still as awkward as always.
“Where’s — uhm — where’s the baby?” He asks, looking around.
“The baby’s asleep,” you smile, walking toward him in your high heels, studying his face, and watching him gulp with each step closer. “We have all night to ourselves.”
“If he doesn’t wake up,” Mark whispers, but his eyes are running on your body, stopping on your chest that’s pressed up by the bra and then moving down where the lace lingerie is basically see-through before falling on your legs. “I — I’m speechless.”
“I forgot it takes nothing to impress you,” you chuckle before pulling him in for a heated kiss.
“Nothing?” He asks through the kiss, struggling to catch his breath as you hurry to get him out of his clothes. “It’s you,” he says before lifting you up and walking upstairs.
Once you’re in your bedroom, he lays you on the bed, swiftly getting out of his pants and underwear to be on top of you and kiss you again. You both needed this like air, and it’s clear in the way you are both so harsh and greedy with your hands and lips.
“You’re so wet,” he whispers when his fingers reach between your legs and he starts moving them in circles on your clit. You don’t reply, not like he needs your verbal confirmation, and not like you’d be able to give it to him anyway. You feel on fire, and so close already. Probably it’s because Mark is really good at this, pushing his fingers in and out, curling them right where it makes you tremble, and sucking your clit until he leaves you breathless, or probably because your body has been left starved for so long, too long. Whatever it is, it doesn’t matter, and you don’t care you come so easily.
“Fuck, babe,” he murmurs, trailing up to kiss you while he keeps pumping his fingers to ride your orgasm. “Missed me much.”
“So fucking much,” you mumble, pulling him down by his nape. “Need you inside me, Mark,” you whisper, but when he doesn’t obey, you feel your patience wear thin. “Now, Mark. I need you, now!”
“Damn, alright, darling,” he giggles, pulling out of you before positioning between your legs. “Keep quiet if you want this to last.”
“He won’t wake up, just fuck me alright.”
Mark doesn’t say a word, just grabs the base of his dick to push into you slowly, whimpering as he sinks into you and your wet, warm pussy wraps around him. “Fuck,” he breathes out, voice shaky, “it’s been ages.” His hold on your hips tightening as he starts moving, rubbing on your soft skin.
“Come here,” you beg, wrapping your arms around his neck as soon as he leans closer before doing the same with your legs on his waist. “Needed you so much,” you whisper, running your hand on his back, enjoying the sensation of his soft, bare skin.
“Me too, honey,” he moans, throwing his head back as he starts picking up a rhythm.
“More,” you cry out. “Please, Mark. Faster,” you plead, fingers running in his blonde hair, pulling at it until a louder, deeper moan rolls from his lips.
He utters a curse before his hips start moving faster against you. “You feel so fucking good, shit,” he breathes out. “Won’t last long.”
“Don’t,” you reply breathlessly, “fill me up, please.”
Mark would love to make this last more, but he can’t resist you. The way your pussy is gripping him and dripping is making him go insane, not to mention how beautiful you look with your head thrown back, overwhelmed with pleasure while your parted lips let out the prettiest moans he has ever heard. He should remind you to keep it quieter, but he’s too lost in those sounds to care.
“Mark, please,” you cry out, pushing him closer again. And in that messy, needy kiss, you both lose it, the orgasm hitting you hard, leaving you trapped in a panting mess.
He stays on top of you for a while, leaving small kisses all over your face and whispering how lucky he is to have you, making your heart burst with joy. But when his arms don’t hold his body up anymore, he’s out of you, rolling to the side, with his arm resting on his forehead as he tries to take deep breaths again.
“Wait,” Mark says, watching you climb on top of him, “what are you doing?”
You smile smugly. “Minjun didn’t wake up,” you say, grabbing his dick and aligning to your entrance, slowly sinking on it. “I told you we were going to have all night to ourselves.”
© neowinestaindress; all rights reserved. do NOT repost, modify, or translate any work from this blog on any other platform and claim it as yours. you can find my works on ao3 (neowinestaindress) and wattpad (winestaintedress_; currently inactive).
#anon answered#mark hard hours#mark hard thoughts#mark smut#mark lee smut#nct dream smut#nct 127 smut
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HeartBeat Sync PART 2
Chapter 2: Once In a Lifetime
What this proposition turned out to be involved a trip to Dallas, which thankfully Y/N was self-employed so getting time off was definitely doable. While her family thought that she simply worked from home, her music and writing of smutty romance novels has gotten her by.
Lexi accompanied her on this journey with a smug look on her face the entire time. They made their way to the airport lounge. They had a private jet awaiting them, much as Y/N tried to protest Eden’s investment. He insisted, however, that this would prevent delays since they had to make it in time for the show. Lexi wiggled her eyebrows as they entered the luxurious room.
Y/N scoffed. “Nothing to celebrate Lexi. Just a meeting. Don’t get excited.”
The smile did not fade a millimeter from her best friend’s face.
“Nothing to celebrate yet.” Lexi plopped down lazily in the airport lounge chair.
“I am still upset Lexi. I know you meant well but this could blow up in my face. I had a way I wanted to go about this and you forced me to expose myself.”
“Girl I know. I will never be able to say sorry enough. It will be made up to you once Eden offers you a job.”
Before Y/N could further argue the issue, a gentleman approached the pair. “Miss Y/N L/N and Alexia Thurgood, correct?”
Y/N subconsciously shrank away a little bit with the fact she was recognized. “Yeeeeees?”
“Apologies ladies.” A faint Irish accent could be heard from the tall and lanky gentleman. “I am Liam and I am to accompany you to your jet. Your pilot Minjun is awaiting you on the runway.” Lexi gasped wide-eyed, then shaking her head and hurrying to grab her belongings.
Quickly setting her drink down, and then nervously picking it up again to place a coaster under it, Y/N gathered her bags and followed Liam. The man had already turned on his heel and was heading towards the lounge exit. A few people eyed the girls with curiosity and Y/N shrank her face further into her hoodie.
After following the man through a large set of double doors and making their way through a concrete hallway (which totally would be the perfect place to KILL someone), they exited to the tarmac. Loud sounds from the engines and the employees wheeling luggage were very overwhelming and Y/N found herself hurrying past Liam to the small jet parked in front of them.
The side door slowly opened, revealing a set of stairs. At this time, Liam and Lexi caught up to Y/N. Everyone awkwardly stood around as the stairs slowly lowered, Liam and Lexi seemed particularly distant. Once the stairs lowered, Liam attempted to grab Lexi’s bag but she swiftly grabbed it back from him. “I’ve got it thank you.”
This wasn’t like Lexi at all so Y/N definitely needed some answers. She followed her best friend to one of the sets of seats facing each other with a polished oak table in-between them.
“The hell is going on with you Lexi? That was kind of rude…”
“You let a man do one thing for you and they expect you to fall under heel. That shouldn’t be the case, no matter what may try to make you say otherwise.”
At this point Liam passed the pair and set himself up at the back of the plane, quickly making a phone call, carding his fingers through his dark hair anxiously. Probably needed to let his boss know that the target had been acquired. He looked tired now, the friendly façade fading away to show another man clocked in to a job.
“Look Lexi, I know you are a strong and capable woman, but don’t be a bitch. Dude was just doing his job.”
“Ok fiiiiiine. I will apologize to him later. Eventually.”
“That’s the bestie I know and love.” Y/N smiled and squeezed Lexi’s hand.
Y/N took this time to look out the window and contemplate the events of the last couple of days. How had she ended up here? What was going to happen with her music? Was she going to make a fool out of herself in front of Eden. This just seemed like a bigger risk the more she thought about it. Her leg jumped up and down with the anxiety.
“Y/N stop it. Everything will be fine. Stop being a nervous ninny.” Lexi looked up from filing her nails and raised a well-shaped eyebrow.
“You don’t know that!” Y/N said with a quiver to her voice.
“No, but I know the more you DO worry about it, the worse you will make it for yourself.”
“I hate it when you are right.” Y/N sighed and sank further into the leather seat.
“No you don’t. It is why you keep me around.” Lexi laughed at Y/N’s sulking and after no further exchange, she went back to filing her nails and turned her airpods on.
Realizing there was no further discussion to be had, Y/N went to look at her social media feeds for the first time in 48 hours. She had had to already block her parents’ numbers as well as her sister’s after a few degrading texts. Apparently they had heard about her identity reveal from a member of their church group. Y/N wasn’t nationwide news but somehow they had still found out.
Honestly Y/N wasn’t surprised and needed to finally have a reason to cut them off. She was tired of having to be someone she wasn’t just to keep them off her back. If there was one good thing to come out of this whole situation, it was that. Hopefully it was all worth it so she would show them she could do this. That she wasn’t too old, or too fat.
Logging into Instagram she saw a lot of new follows and message requests. Deciding she was not ready for all of the possible negativity in her messages and comments, she decided the followers was a safer way to dip a toe in the water, so to speak. There were over 4000 new followers. Quickly scrolling through them, she halted when she saw Eden-ary’s official account as well as a couple of other well known producers. All this attention made Y/N squeamish and dreading that there may be even more to come. These rambling thoughts lead her to a fitful rest, which lasted until the jet landed with a thud onto the runway.
Liam made a hurried escape off the aircraft once the plane came to a stop, mumbling that the girls needed to follow him. Y/N didn’t know what caused his change in attitude but she quickly grabbed her stuff and proceeded to follow him to avoid upsetting him further. This was going to be interesting….
=========================================
Sorry that Not much happened in this chapter but I promise next chapter will be eventful…perhaps with a fateful meeting or two 😉
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ducks got fast legs
safe to say, all this team unknown stuff was draining cherry. cherry was aware that compared to her trainee time, she pretty much sucked, with the speed she was learning in, she surely wasn’t becoming any idol before at least age fifty. cherry isn’t sure what happened. prior to auditioning for legacy, she’d worked hard by herself to grow in rapping, she’d quickly learned and she got accepted, but ever since then, she’s been learning slowly. she’s not sure what does it, if it’s because she’s a student besides being a trainee, if she’s lazy, not hardworking, she just can’t quite figure out why she’s learning so slowly.
all this intensive training is needed for cherry, she’s aware of that, but that doesn’t mean she’s enjoying these even more difficult than usual dance classes, cherry is surprised she hasn’t broken any foot yet. when practice is finished, cherry decides on that she needs fresh air, and though she usually isn’t a fan of walking by herself, right now she doesn’t care she’s alone. she reaches a park, with a little pond in it, the blonde walks over to it, watches as the water slightly moves due to the wind.
she’s not alone though, a few ducks are in the pond, cherry watches them, as she notices one swims her way, she takes a few steps back, and the duck leaves the pond, before she knows it, she’s running, getting chases by a duck.
“someone please save me!”.
written for... @lgcmjun
#it's been put in...➔ queue#shine bright on ! thread#cherrylgc#lgcmjun#this side - ducks got fast legs#other side - minjun#( thx for liking my plot call )#( just let me know if u want anything changed !! )
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𝐀 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝.
➞ SUMMARY. Maybe making new friends wasn’t that bad at all, right?
↳ TW: nothing? as far as i know
↳ WORD COUNT: 1.7k words
➞ ERA: PRE-DEBUT
↳ [a/n: here is full scenario for june!! we love to see it<3 finally we know who is the best friend june was referring to👁👁 hope u enjoy this one !!] // bold words are in english // this is not proofread
SUMMER OF 2012
“Can you please hurry up, Junnie? We’re gonna be late!” A scoff is heard and then, the woman part of the staff gasps in feigned shock, “ya! don’t give me that attitude, young lady!”
One small chuckle can be heard, followed by the sound of light steps making their way to the front door: a ten-year-old june appears on the sight of the woman, the usual bright smile she always wears is adorning her face.
“Sorry unnie! I was just trying really hard to make my ponytail look good,” she pouts as she walks out of the room and closes the door behind her, seeing that her friends were already walking towards the elevator and pressing the button to call the metallic box over. “You know how ugly can get after the dance class!”
The woman slightly laughs, patting her shoulder and nodding. “You’re right, Minjun.”
Entering the elevator and hearing her friends talk, June starts wondering what she was going to be learning in today’s class, a tingle of excitement spreads through her tiny body and she can’t help but smile again at the thought.
This was her second year as a trainee, but she was the youngest out of the selected group to travel to Los Angeles and train there for a month during summer to refine their skills.
Minjun always wanted to go on a summer camp just like her friends back in England, and even if the experience wasn’t even a close one (because her friends would play around and Minjun would have to train from early morning until seven p.m), it was good enough for her.
Stretching has always been the easiest part for June, it was as if she was born to do this.
People around her that would also take the class were always nagging about stretching, but to her, it was her favorite part.
It allowed June to think about stuff like, how the weather was so hot in Los Angeles and how she preferred the cold season because it reminded her of the white-ish snow falling on the green, pine trees outside her house back in London, or how people here didn’t say ‘pardon’ and instead said ‘sorry’ if someone accidentally crashed with you on the busy downtown streets.
Or how there was a boy sitting on the other side of the busting room, a slight older boy that she hasn’t seen before (and well, it’s not like she has been in LA for a lot of days, since they had arrived like, four days ago) but it definitely sparked curiosity in her since… well,
He looked like he knew what he was actually doing.
“Okay, perfect! Let’s take a break,” the choreographer claps while turning around to face the class, “we’ll start filming in five, okay?”
She hears humming and more affirmative responses around her, the choreographer walks away and June takes this little time given to steal some more glances at the newcomer without getting distracted.
“—He looks korean,” she hears one of the trainees sitting beside her whispering and nodding, “I think Yoonah said she heard him talking in korean.”
“He’s a trainee… and I think he’s the only one from his company, I saw him entering with two persons, they told him they would be waiting outside—“
“How do you know that, Minkyu!?”
The boy raises both shoulders, a cheeky smile adorning his face. “I don’t know, maybe I just overheard a little.”
“Maybe you’re just nosy,” Moon, another girl there, rolls her eyes. And while the group of trainees starts discussing and laughing, June decides on taking mental notes about the lonely boy sitting in a corner of the crowded room.
He looked like he was kinda the same age as her, maybe a little bit older like the trainees that were with her, he had dark hair and kind but shy brown eyes, and he looked pretty tall.
Pouting in thought, she glances at the group of people beside her, and then she returns her eyes towards the stranger.
Yeah, June liked the other trainees, but they were… not her type of people at all. Sometimes they were a little too competitive with each other, and while Minjun tried to keep it friendly with all of them, she knew she couldn’t trust them since they always bad mouthed each other at their backs, as if that would make them debut or something.
Sigh. Maybe making new friends wasn’t that bad at all, right?
Standing from her seat, she makes her direction towards the stranger that captivated her curiosity, smiling a little when he looks up and locks eyes with her.
“Hi, hello!” Minjun says with an excited tone, standing in front of the boy and waving her hand in enthusiasm.
The boy went from confused, to nervous, to confused again, the timid boy blinks twice and mutters a greeting back, his hesitant hands doing an awkward gesture, making June smile.
In less than five seconds, June decides that she likes him because he seemed kind enough for her, and yeah, she might be ten and maybe she didn’t not know a lot about life, but this young stranger seemed nice.
Sitting in front of him and crossing her legs, Minjun beams brightly at him, extending a hand to greet him.
“Hi! My name is June, what’s your name?” Before the boy can answer, June gasps when she suddenly remembers something, “oh wait, do you speak korean? Because I do. Do you want us to speak in korean or english?”
Stunned by the sudden words coming quickly by the shorter girl’s mouth, the dark haired boy can’t help but let out a giggle.
“Uhm—,” he smiles slightly, extending his hand too so he can answer the greeting. “Yes, I’m korean, I don’t know a lot of english, so—“
“It’s okay! I’m korean too!” June interrupts again, and just like that, she starts making small conversation with the boy.
To the boy, there was something peculiar about how the girl talked with him with so much emotion: as if the both of them have been friends of each other for years and they just met after so long. It was a pleasing feeling; it made him feel comfortable and like home.
That afternoon, Minjun spends her time getting to know someone new, and when her time of training that day is almost over, she realizes that maybe she just found someone that really understands her.
The dark haired boy is four years older than her, he’s from Busan, and he’s also a trainee (so the information she overheard by her fellow company trainees was right) from a small company, the company’s name not really sticking to her.
“So, you’re debuting in a year?” June asks, eyes widening at the new information she just discovered. The boy nods.
“Yeah, I started training some months ago but my dance skills are… not that advanced,” he says, rubbing the back of his neck in slight embarrassment, June giggles at that. “So my company decided on sending me here to take some lessons.”
June hums, pouting, deep in thought.
Walking together to where their water bottles were located, June grabs her drink but doesn’t open it, instead, she just admires the object between both of her hands.
“Debut”; a word that every single trainee gets prepared to hear, and it usually means good news. It means that your hard work has finally paid off, that you’re going to show the world what you’re capable of.
A word that Minjun only has heard, but it was never directed to her.
He’s debuting in a year, and he just trained for months… must be nice.
“What about you, June?”
“Hmm?”
Taking her out of her deep thoughts, the boy gulps down the rest of his water and cleans his mouth with the back of his hand, a sheepish smile adorning his lips.
“What about you?” he repeats the same question, tilting his head a little, “when are you debuting?”
“Oh–“
Yeah, “oh.”
“–Uhm,” the girl hesitates for a second, shrugging and trying to smile again, “I don’t know, uhm, actually this is my second year as a trainee, but— but I’m sure that, maybe when I go back to Korea, I’ll get put in a line-up!”
The boy nods excitedly, giving her a thumbs up. “I’m sure your company will debut you soon! You’re really talented!”
June lights up upon hearing this, and before she can answer, a call of her name makes the both of them turn their gazes to where the voice is coming from.
It was Minjun’s manager.
“Minjun-ah, it’s time to go!”
She looks up at the clock hanging up on the wall, widening her eyes at seeing that her lessons are already over. She sighs.
“Coming!”
“We’ll be waiting for you outside!”
She just nods, looking again at the taller boy in front of her. He gives her a toothy grin, nodding.
“I guess we’ll keep seeing each other, right?”
She giggles, “I come to this studio three times a week, tomorrow I have lessons on a different one,” she adds, the boy’s shoulders dropping at hearing that. “But! wait, does your company let you use a phone?” He nods, “give me your number and your kakaotalk id! We can keep communicating there!”
“Of course!”
Minjun runs towards her bag, takes out a tiny notebook and her glittery gel pink pen and hands it out to the boy, making him laugh.
After the exchange of numbers, she waves goodbye to the boy and high-fives with him, making a promise on seeing each other again.
Minjun starts walking away, eyeing the boy’s cute handwriting and— wait.
She doesn’t even know his name!
“Hey!” She runs back quickly, taking out the pen, the boy looking at her in expectation. “What’s your name?”
The boy can’t help but start laughing, realizing that he never gave her his name, but they spent all day talking and laughing together.
“Jungkook. My name is Jeon Jungkook.”
Scribbling it down, she nods and gives him a thumbs up.
“Nice to meet you Jungkook oppa!” Minjun says enthusiastically, walking backwards while waving him goodbye, “hope we can meet again soon!”
And just like that, the girl turns around and starts running towards the main gate, a 14-year-old Jungkook watching her disappear with a smile adorning his features.
taglist: @curly-fr13s
#enhypen 8th member#enhypen addition#kpop female addition#kpop addition#enhypen female addition#enhypen au#enhypen female member#kpop added member#enhypen female oc#enhypen oc#enhypen x oc
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My Book Review
Books are not meant to remain in your mind, but in your heart. Maybe they exist in your mind too, but as something more than memories. [...] While I may not remember all the details, the stories continue to exert a quiet influence on me.
An ode to bookshops, books, finding solace, and the seekers of them all. ✨
Welcome to the Hyunam-dong Bookshop is a light, calming, episodic novel translated from the Korean that reminds me of the high fantasy novel, Legends & Lattes. It's cozy and character-driven. This book illustrates how bookshops are more than a places that house books. They are havens.
Yeongju, our main character, follows her dream in opening an indie bookshop café as it weaves together the lives of interesting characters, each with their own stories and struggles, drawn together by their love for books and peace. Oh how I related to the character Minjun regarding the self-discovery with that "life after college." (I binge-watched movies too.)
Now, the dialogue in this novel is didactic at times. But I find it thought-provoking, not bothersome or annoying like I tend to with other books. For example:
"Dissonance before moments of harmony makes the harmony sound beautiful. Just as harmony and dissonance exist side by side in music, life is the same. Because harmony is preceded by dissonance, that's why we think life's beautiful."
Here's another:
"Life is too complicated and expansive to be judged solely by the career you have. You could be unhappy doing something you liked, just as it was possible to do what you didn't like but derive happiness from something entirely different. Life is mysterious and complex. Work plays an important role in life, but it isn't solely responsible for our happiness or misery."
Granted it could be the author's own opinions put onto the characters, but it fits the characters and their book/author discussions. This approach adds to their sense of community and connection while making sense of life, its challenges, the expectations of others, and their personal journeys.
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HEYHEY ITS ME AGAIN! I wanted to request another little thing...👉🏼👈🏼 (If it's not too much, ofc!) Could you maybe do the reactions to saying 'I love you' with a forehead kiss (towards them)? And I am taking care of myself! Again- have a nice day/night and make sure to eat and drink enough😋🫶🏼
DXMON
Mmmmmmmwahh !!
[ Kissing the Dxmon boys on their foreheads, paired with an "I love you!"
♡•.°*☆•.°
A/N ♡ HALLOOOOO I'm here with. This request as well !!1!!!!!11!!!1 thank u for giving me ideas because I sure as hell was nawt able to think of any........ ermmm but yess I hope you have a good day/night as well :3 hopefully this is to ur liking, its so late where I am and I'm lowkey half asleep 😣 also I am writing the other requests I've gotten so I might be posting again l8r tonight ????? Idk idk
Warnings ♡ ummmm cringe. Not proofread, and was written in a very short amount of time 😞 probably some mistakes in there....
☆•.° Minjae is a sucker for small, intimate displays of affection, so forehead kisses are right up his alley. But paired with an "I love you" as well ?! He might just pass out !! He replies with an I love you too without missing a beat, giving you a kiss back on your temple.
☆•.° Seita is flustered. It was so.... inoccent..... so lovely..... he's in love ♡.... Seita thinks you're already so cute, so when you decide to be even cuter by pulling something like this all he can think is o.m.g !!! He'll just stare at you with his cute lil smile until you say something lolol. "Are you gonna say I love you too?" "You already know I love you. You're the cutest ever. Can you kiss me on the lips this time?"
☆•.° Youngseo is caught so off guard. It's like you get cuter every day... a forehead kiss paired with the 3 words he loves to hear from you might send him into cardiac arrest tbh.. literally his favorite thing in the world. Won't hesitate to cry an I love you too! Before he snatches you up in a tight hug 🫂.
☆•.° Taekyu thinks it's cute and won't hesitate to let you know. He may get shy easily, but he livesssss for making you even shyer. He'll grab the sides of your face, whispering "I love you too." Before he commences the most flustering, life changing, jaw dropping kiss he's ever given you 😣. Afterwards, though, he's bright red and tries to run away once the realization settles in. Where'd all that confidence go?
☆•.° Minjun thinks he just fell in love all over again..... especially if this is taking place early in the morning, right after he wakes up. Literally starts giggling because he just thinks you're adorbs. Pulls you into a very tight hug, rolling around with you in his arms. "You're just so cute !" Cue the very annoyingly loud sound effects he makes as he kisses wherever he can reach. "Minjun, aren't you gonna say I love you back ?!" "Omg I forgot.... I love you toooooo ♡."
☆•.° Junseong is caught way off guard... you two almost never say I love you... do you want something from him? Hmmm.... once you are able to beat the allegations of you trying to bribe him with your cute acts of affection, he's all for it. Kisses your cheeks, his hands gently rubbing your arms. "I looooovee you too."
Baiiiiii
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sleepwalking ● 18 | jjk
pairing: jungkook x fem!reader
summary: due to unfortunate circumstances, you ended up managing your ex-boyfriend’s band. you thought you’ve both made peace with it, but suddenly he’s very eager to prove to you that first love never dies.
genre: rockstar!jungkook / exes to lovers
warnings: explicit language, mentions of violence, descriptions of smoking, ANGST, some fluff, SLOW BURN
words: 13.9k
read from the beginning ○ masterlist
chapter 18 ► if everything i said was true, then why am i paralysed?
You and Jungkook spent the rest of Rated Riot’s day off in your hotel room in Manchester.
People kept coming to check on you, including Minjun, who made a hesitant appearance but brightened up immediately when he heard you and Jungkook laughing just before he opened the door to your room. And after the last visitors—the rest of the Rated Riot members, who had accidentally knocked over a lamp and broken the wardrobe door within fifteen minutes of entering the room—had left, you and Jungkook found yourselves alone in the room again.
You both reached a compromise to lie on the bed and talk since you refused to sleep, and he refused to let you out of the room.
It wasn’t exactly a pillow fort that you’d built for yourselves—really, it was more of a loose, cosy blanket hut—but it still brought back memories of the nights you’d spent in your dorm room years ago. And after last night’s conversation, you couldn’t help but think about all the nights that hadn’t happened because Jungkook was trying to do something more for you.
Really, this was all you needed—back then and, as it turned out, right now: some pillows for comfort and Jungkook laughing next to you.
He rolled onto his side, and you mirrored his position until you were facing each other. Suddenly, you both had to strain very hard not to laugh again. But the story that had amused you at first—about Jungkook and Hoseok’s failed attempt to bake a cake for Yoongi’s birthday the previous year, which was another thing Jungkook hadn’t mentioned to you after nearly setting his apartment on fire—had almost faded from your mind.
You were just happy to be in the moment.
You felt dizzy from the vitamins you’d received over the past few days. And from the shower you’d taken half an hour ago. And from the fact that lying here on the hotel bed with Jungkook was almost overwhelming. It felt a little like you had lost an important piece of yourself—just dropped it somewhere absentmindedly—and now you’d accidentally found it, fully intact.
But at the dark corners of your mind, there were worries. You couldn’t help it—not even the star-shaped pattern reflected in his dark eyes could distract you from the inevitability of the Future. And of Consequences.
What did this mean?
All the thoughtful gestures, the well-meaning mishaps, the inevitable insecurities, and the constant presence of his friends that the two of you had talked about last night. And the bet, too.
What would happen next?
You were about to pull away and succumb fully to your anxiety, but Jungkook reached out a hand—his tattoos blurred in the shadows of your dark room—to sweep a strand of hair from your cheek, and you discovered that, despite everything, your body had not relinquished its instinctive response to his touch.
You felt your breath slowing down, your muscles relaxing. His fingertips gently brushed over the skin of your cheek, and the goosebumps on the back of your neck ran wild. You closed your eyes and exhaled.
Five minutes, he’d once asked you. Five minutes that won’t mean anything once they’re over.
“I feel,” he spoke up softly, and you opened your eyes again, “a bit like we’re back in Amsterdam.”
Hesitantly—against his wishes, really—he withdrew his hand and placed it on the pillow under his cheek.
“We’re, uh—we’re very far from Amsterdam,” you replied.
You didn’t mean the physical distance, of course. You meant the moments from leaving the bed in Amsterdam to being in this bed here, in Manchester—with your arm still slightly stinging from the catheter.
“I know,” Jungkook said. You rolled onto your back, your eyes fixed on the ceiling, even though your mind kept shouting at you to look at him. “But I’m scared to leave this room because I don’t know what’s going to happen.”
You pressed your lips together and ran your tongue over them. You wondered if his fear matched yours, or if they were two opposite sides of the same coin.
You turned your head. “What do you mean?”
He observed you for a moment. The lines of laughter hadn’t faded from your face yet, and you looked breathtaking.
He realised that it was much harder to admit things in the daylight than at night. Arctic Monkeys had made a good point.
“I mean, I don’t know if you’ll be okay,” he said. “If—”
“I will be,” you cut in.
He swallowed. “I don’t know if you’ll talk to me again.”
The look in his eyes was hopeful but uncertain, and you turned back to the ceiling. There was something comforting about the smooth tiles above. They didn’t make you feel like your chest was exploding into millions of little pieces, each with his name inked on it.
“I’m talking to you now,” you managed to say, even after your voice broke on the third syllable.
“Right,” he said. “But I mean about things that really matter.”
“Well,” you inhaled, “we talked about a lot of them last night.”
“Yeah, but that was—you know.” This time, it was Jungkook who rolled onto his back and clasped his hands on his stomach. “Things that happened years ago.”
“Yeah, but they’re new to me,” you pointed out.
“Sure,” he agreed. His foot twitched as he tried to find his words. “But I’m—we haven’t decided if that changes things. Not that I’m—I mean—”
“It changes things.”
He turned his head to look at you. “Yeah?”
“Yeah,” you said. “I don’t know what to say because my mind is just, sort of… well, I don’t know. What I do know is that I like being here with you, and I don’t want to think about leaving.”
Jungkook thought that feeling this way was impossible.
After the existential fever that he’d gone through—and all the cigarettes he’d smoked to stay on his feet—his chest and lungs and, really, about three-quarters of his entire body should have turned to ash by now.
But lying next to you and hearing you say that you liked being here with him made him feel more alive than ever before.
“I don’t want to think about it, either,” he admitted in a hushed tone, as if he was revealing a secret. “B-but—we—we’ll have to leave, though.”
A small smile formed on your face. “You sound like me.”
He smiled, too. “I try.”
You snorted and looked away. There was a time restriction on how long you could look at him and keep your brain functioning.
“I know we’ll have to,” you said. “But here’s a, um—an unconventional suggestion. How about we don’t do this right now? How about we don’t talk about the bet, or about us, or about what anything means, and just—let’s just not talk.”
He could do that. He could just not talk.
But it would kill him—having five, fifteen, even thirty minutes of ignorant peace with you. That was simply not enough time.
He didn’t just want an hour with you. He wanted a lifetime.
“Okay. So,” he started, scratching a spot between his knuckles, “what do you want to do?”
“I want,” you replied, swallowing your inner disquiet, “not to have to make any decisions.”
“About us?” he asked. The slight hint of panic in his voice made you tap your restless fingers against the blanket beneath you.
“About anything.”
The room lit up as a car pulled into one of the side alleys behind your hotel room window.
“Reconnaissance?” he said—not really a statement, but not quite a question, either. The name of the band that he’d loved so much suddenly sounded like the start of a curse. “Have you—have you decided if you’re leaving?”
You squeezed your eyes shut, almost nauseous from the sudden surge of stress. It seemed like every aspect of your life required your immediate attention and demanded an answer to a crucial, life-altering question. It felt like everything was slipping away—and you were trying to catch it all at once, and couldn’t catch anything at all.
You really didn’t want to leave this room.
“I haven’t decided how I’m getting out of this bed,” you finally said, your groan muffled by something thick lodged in your throat. You shifted your body to face him but kept your eyes closed. “I don’t know what to tell you, Jungkook. I’m so—I’m just—”
“Okay,” he cut in hastily. He didn’t like the wrinkle between your eyebrows—he preferred the wrinkles by your lips. “Well, look—we don’t—we don’t have to talk about anything that makes you uncomfortable. If you want to go back to work, we can do that. If you want to avoid me, then I’ll—well, I—”
“I don’t want to avoid you,” you said.
“Okay,” he said again because that was the only word he trusted himself with. Hesitantly, he added, “so… truce, then?”
You opened your eyes. “Truce?”
“Yeah,” he said. “Let’s stop avoiding each other. And let’s just focus on our work.”
It sounded a little like another one of his five-minute promises—driven by the urgency to make it so, to drown out the doubts that this was weak. That it wouldn’t work. That you could never go back and expect everything to be okay without making any real decisions about anything: not your relationship, not your future, not even what you’d do tomorrow.
“Can we actually do that?” you asked anyway—and because you did, Jungkook nodded enthusiastically.
“Of course,” he assured. “We can do anything.”
You needed to hear that—even if it wasn’t true. Even if it was temporary.
Knowing that someone was willing to take the responsibility for a decision away from you was good enough for the moment.
“Okay,” you said. “Truce, then.”
He nodded. “Okay.”
“We’ll talk,” you promised quietly, closing your eyes again. “Just not right now.”
You could almost feel the unease settling into a slumber deep inside your mind. It would wake eventually.
All the words, all the feelings—all of it had been left unsaid. Some of it unthought. But it was still there, hovering on the hazy edge of your subconscious, and fighting—the more you resisted—to break out.
But then Jungkook asked if he had ever told you about Taehyung walking in his sleep when he had the flu on tour last year, and all the anxious spaces inside of your chest eased. You smiled as you listened, and you had all you needed—and nothing less—right here again.
The next morning, you left your hotel room feeling a little lighter.
You haven’t fully processed—or adjusted to—the things that Jungkook had revealed to you, but you’d found somewhat of a common ground with him. You could tolerate each other’s presence with surprising ease despite the weight of all the decisions looming over you.
You returned to your duties as soon as you left the hotel. You saw a new text message from Nick on your phone, but you had no time—or wish—to deal with Reconnaissance right now.
At such short notice, the best solution you could find for Jungkook’s black eye was an eye patch. Fortunately, you didn’t have to go far from the venue to find one before Rated Riot started their soundcheck.
Even more fortunate was the fact that the band and the staff all found the eye patch so amusing that they kept making pirate jokes—much to Jungkook’s growing annoyance—and it distracted everyone from your fainting spell and the two days you had spent in bed.
The eye patch was black to match his outfit, or at least that was what you told him. In reality, the only place near the venue where you could buy eye patches was a costume shop.
When you returned to the venue with a dark costume bag, Namjoon happened to be passing by in the corridor. He had no choice but to become an accessory to your petty crime as you grabbed the eye patch and hid the rest of the costume in Namjoon’s suitcase.
There was no reason for Jungkook to know about the rest of the costume, and Namjoon—once he stopped laughing—agreed.
You figured that as long as the patch covered the bandages and discolouration around Jungkook’s eye, it would be okay.
Jungkook, of course, had a different opinion.
“I look stupid,” he insisted when you and Jimin were double-checking the sound equipment. The two of you wanted to make sure no damage had been done to it when the venue staff cleaned up after the flood.
“Should’ve thought about that before you got a black eye,” you mumbled half-heartedly, too preoccupied with the list of electronics that Jimin had handed you. You didn’t recognise most of the devices on the list and couldn’t even read what some were called in the awful lighting backstage.
Meanwhile, Rated Riot’s temporary opening act finished her set, allowing Seokjin to go out and prepare the stage for the band. Expectant cheers from the audience lifted your spirits as you followed Jimin’s list.
Maggie had been the one who secured this up-and-coming artist to open for the band tonight. Her name was Ivy, and she had tattoos of ivy vines all over her arms, which may have been the initial reason Maggie chose her. But as soon as Ivy started to sing, there was no question about her talent.
“Hey, Jungkook!” Seokjin called out ten minutes later, and you glanced up just as he walked down the steps from the stage. “Serious question: what has six eyes, six legs, and six arms?”
You guessed the punchline before Jungkook could even open his mouth. “How is that—”
“Six pirates!” Seokjin answered, and his endearing—and so contagious that it was almost ungodly—windshield wiper laugh made you chuckle as well. Jimin hiccupped and turned away from everyone, presumably to conceal his own laughter.
“That’s it, I’m taking this off,” Jungkook declared in frustration, reaching for the string that secured the patch.
You stopped laughing and jumped up, shouting a panicked “no!” and quickly grabbing his wrist.
He looked up, momentarily stunned by your touch.
“If you go on that stage with your bandages and a black eye underneath, the label will send us straight home,” you said. “I don’t care how much you sweat or how many pirate jokes these guys make. You’re wearing this.”
He pouted, exaggerating his reaction, but there was genuine discomfort in his healthy eye, even if it was drowning in black eye shadow. He knew it would be unprofessional to get on stage without covering up his wounds, but he worried the eye patch was a worse alternative.
“I look fucking stupid,” he said, and to be fair, he did look silly—to say the least. But you had seen him at the soundcheck. When he performed, his make-up and accessories faded against his voice and stage presence.
“You don’t,” you reassured him again. “You’re a rockstar. You can pull off an eye patch.”
He continued to watch you, his pout becoming more dramatic when he scrunched his nose. You felt a smile spreading on your lips. He had looked at you like this on purpose many times—usually to convince you that he couldn’t possibly survive without seeing you right this instant, even though you had to study for exams—and your chest immediately warmed.
You managed to nod again to reaffirm what you’d just said. Finally, he sighed and let go of the patch. You released his wrist and took a step back.
Just then, Jimin emerged from behind one of the amplifiers to your left. You couldn’t see the wide grin on his face, but Jungkook could, and he reached for Hoseok’s drumsticks right away.
“Ready when you are, Captain,” Jimin said and then quickly ducked as Jungkook tossed the drumstick at his head.
“Fuck off,” he grumbled, ignoring Jimin’s laughter and allowing Yoongi to guide him to the stairs that led to the stage.
“Do you really think he can pull this off?” Jimin asked you as the band members walked towards the dimly lit stage entrance.
All four of them stumbled over their feet at least once, but you didn’t react—you’ve been their manager long enough to know that tripping before a concert was almost a good luck charm.
“Because I assume,” Jimin went on, “that he was trying to divert attention from his eye patch by applying all the black eyeshadow he has to his other eye.”
“Yeah,” you agreed, suspecting the same. “Up close, he sort of looks like Captain Hook and Edward Scissorhands had a baby.”
“Oh my God, he does,” Jimin whispered in awe and grabbed onto your shoulder to steady himself as his laughter erupted in violent waves. “Someone needs to get him a wig, so—so he could wear Captain Hook’s hat, too—with the—with the feather and everything—”
The image finally made you lose your composure, too. Seokjin looked up when he heard your laughter and approached to learn what was so funny. After Jimin panted through an answer, the stage manager joined in.
The three of you laughed so hard that you transcended noise and just wheezed voicelessly like malfunctioning dog whistles.
Suddenly, Jungkook turned to look at you from the side of the stage as he inserted his earpiece. You had half a second to pull yourself together before he lost confidence and threw the eye patch away.
Quickly, you raised your hand and formed an ‘O’ with your fingers to signal that everything was okay—even though you had tears in your eyes and the laughter of the two boys did not help you keep a straight face.
Jungkook had doubt in his eyes—well, eye—but you bit your lip and gave him another reassuring nod. Despite your amusement, you could tell he looked ready. And from this far, his eyeshadow didn’t look all that threatening.
As you watched the intense concentration on his face, it was hard to imagine there being anything in this world that could make him look bad. Neither the eye patch, nor the heavy make-up truly managed it.
Jungkook took a step forward just as Taehyung played the first note on his bass. The audience greeted the band with explosive cries that reached you at the back of the stage.
“I have to go,” you told Seokjin and Jimin while they continued to gasp for breath—because they started laughing every time they looked at each other. “Someone has to make sure the eye patch doesn’t fall off during the show.”
“We should find him a bottle of rum,” Seokjin said, and Jimin threw his whole body backwards as he laughed.
“A parrot,” he managed between wheezes, prompting Seokjin to clap in vigorous approval as his face contorted with near-painful laughter.
You were still snickering when you walked away to watch the show from the venue.
Fortunately, Jungkook’s eye patch stayed in place throughout Rated Riot’s performance. What surprised you, however, was the effect it had on the audience.
Unlike everyone backstage, the fans didn’t find the eye patch funny or ridiculous. They loved it.
Granted, you probably should have seen this coming. When Jungkook took off his shirt in the second half of the show, which had become almost a tradition at this point, the eye patch—along with his tattoos, dishevelled hair and messy make-up—did, sort of, make your breath catch in your throat as well.
But as luck would have it, you couldn’t concentrate too much on what was happening on stage because your friends—bless them—kept giving you worried looks. It was very sweet of them, of course, but you started to feel sicker than you really were.
As the show approached its conclusion, you realised that you were feeling slightly lightheaded, after all. It usually got very hot very quickly this close to the stage, so you weren’t too worried. Still, you decided to miss the last few songs just in case.
You returned backstage just as Rated Riot started their encore. You hoped to have a few minutes alone with your thoughts and a bottle of water. However, as soon as you walked through the corridor towards the waiting area, you nearly collided with Minjun.
You pulled back, startled. “Hey. What are you doing here?”
“Headache,” he said, holding up his beer bottle as if that was his solution to the problem. “What about you? Do you—do you maybe happen to have a minute?”
You were surprised that Minjun would need any of your minutes at all.
“Uh—” you glanced back, even though the noise of the concert was loud enough to hear without turning around. “Sure. What’s up?”
“I wanted to talk to you,” he explained, putting his bottle on the table near the dressing room. He shoved his hands in his pockets and paused before turning around. “Uh, first of all, um—are you okay?”
Your polite smile seemed to hide a deep weariness. The corner of your lip fluttered treacherously.
“Yeah,” you said. “I’m fine.”
“I heard that’s your default answer,” he remarked sheepishly.
You hadn’t expected that. Unlike Sid, who only asked questions to fill the silence, Minjun observed you in a way that Jungkook often did—with a quiet determination to get you to admit the truth.
Your expression softened.
“I mean it,” you said. “I really do feel better. Just a little dizzy, but I guess that’s because it’s really hot out there.”
“Yeah—oh, can I get you water? A beer?” he asked. You sensed guilty undertones in his offer; as though he wanted to do something nice for you to redeem himself.
“Water would be great,” you said. “But I can—”
“One second!”
He hurried into the dressing room and returned half a minute later with a bottle of water from the mini-fridge, its plastic cloudy from condensation.
“Thank you,” you said. “Do you want to sit?”
You gestured towards the couch, pushed against the far wall of the corridor. He nodded in response, and the two of you sat down in complete—and a little awkward—silence.
“So, was that… what you wanted to talk to me about?” you asked, unsure what to make of his discomfort as he fiddled his fingers next to you. He looked like he was about to shed his skin.
“No, um—it’s not,” he said. “Uh… I wanted to talk about Jungkook. I meant to do it earlier, but, well, you weren’t feeling well, and I didn’t want to—”
“That’s okay,” you said, hoping to hide your impatience with another polite smile. “Talk to me.”
You took a sip of your water, which was far too cold to feel refreshing, while Minjun collected his thoughts.
“Well—h-he fucked up,” he said profoundly.
You nodded, not quite present in the conversation because you were trying not to open your mouth and hah-hah-hah from the cold water like you would if your throat was burning.
“Sure,” you said.
Minjun looked a little thrown off by the word. Given the extent of Jungkook’s suffering after he told you about the bet and couldn’t convince you to hear him out, Minjun assumed you would refuse to even hear a word about it.
“Sid had a lot to do with that,” he added, crossing his arms and stretching his denim jacket.
You nodded again, still as nonchalant as before. Minjun was a little perplexed.
But really, you’ve already talked to Jungkook—and Luna—about this. Not extensively, but it was enough for you to accept that it had happened, and that you didn’t possess a watch that could magically turn back time and make different choices.
Sid had proposed the bet, and Jungkook had played along with it. It was done. And now there was no reason to scream or storm out.
“He always does,” you said.
“That’s—well, that’s very true.” Minjun looked at the ground. He knew what he wanted to talk to you about, but your reasonable responses had left his thoughts in disarray, and now his mind was throwing random, incomprehensible bits of his rehearsed speech at him. “Jungkook, um—he thinks Sid likes you.”
You were already nodding once more when you froze, frowning instead. “Excu—what?”
“Yeah,” Minjun said, feeling a little more collected now that you finally reacted as he’d expected. “Apparently, he believes that Sid pressured him into making this bet because of that. To sabotage your relationship, I guess.”
You couldn’t help a scoff. “That’s dramatic.”
Minjun arched his brow. “Have you met Sid?”
“I didn’t say it didn’t fit his personality,” you said. “I just said it’s dramatic. And unnecessary”
“Well,” he shrugged one of his shoulders, “those are his middle names.”
“I don’t think it’s true, though,” your answer was quick. As if you hadn’t needed any time at all to think if this was possible. The very idea that Sid liked anyone other than himself was laughable.
“You don’t?” Minjun asked. He didn’t seem surprised by your disagreement. Merely curious to hear your reasoning.
“No,” you said. “If he liked me, he would have done something about it. I’ve known you guys almost as long as I’ve known Jungkook. And all that Sid’s done in this time, is make my life difficult.”
Minjun lowered his head. Those were his first assumptions as well. Sid wouldn’t stay on the sidelines that long. If he wanted something, he went to great lengths to get it.
But on the other hand, if Sid couldn’t get something, he often acted as if he’d never even wanted it, and harboured a deep resentment towards the object of desire at the same time.
Minjun sighed.
“I think I agree with you,” he said.
You turned to look at him. “Yeah?”
“Mmhmm,” he said. “I don’t know if Sid ever really liked you, but I think the real problem is that Sid’s jealous of Jungkook and everything Jungkook has. He’s inferior to Sid, you know? That’s how Sid sees it. And yet, Jungkook is in a rock band. He has shows almost every night. He has real friends, real talent, real support. And he has a girl he loves more than anything. All Sid has is money. He probably doesn’t even understand how it’s possible for money to matter so little.”
You bobbed your head in contemplation. Money held such a massive significance in this world. The fact that Sid had it in abundance and still couldn’t find contentment only proved how pitiful he truly was.
“I thought the same thing,” you admitted. “I always assumed there must be some tension between them now that Jungkook is more than just Sid’s friend. Or, really, his sidekick.”
Minjun nodded. “Exactly, yeah.”
You exhaled and stretched your legs. You wondered what Minjun’s logic was, since he knew what Sid was like, but did not do anything to rid himself of him.
“Why are you, by the way?” you asked. “Sid’s friend, I mean.”
Minjun’s sad smile confirmed to you that there was something more here. No one would have willingly chosen to keep Sid in their lives.
“I’m doing a community service to rescue Jude from his claws,” he said in a very serious tone. “And to leave Sid alone and miserable.”
“I admire your mission,” you said with an amused smile. “But seriously. Why?”
He sighed. He preferred the silly, made-up versions of his story.
I’m an undercover FBI agent collecting information on Sid so we can lock him up for good.
I’m writing a book on insufferable psychopaths. Sid is my primary research subject.
All of these made him appear like he had some control over his choices. They made him feel less pathetic.
“It’s a family thing,” Minjun said, closing his eyes and pulling the corner of his lip into his mouth. “I don’t...”
He let the sentence trail off, and you interjected softly, “you don’t have to tell me everything.”
“It’s not that I don’t want to,” he said, giving you an apologetic look. “It’s just… stupid. My family—well, my parents—they’ve been business partners with Sid’s mum for a long time. She bought my parents’ company, and they signed some partnership agreement that was supposed to guarantee that my parents retained full control of their business. But, uh, you know.”
“They still answer to Sid’s mum in the end,” you finished.
Minjun clicked his tongue. “Yeah. It’s… they used to send me off to play with Sid, and they would tell me to be nice to him. Because if I upset him and it gets to his mother, my parents are the ones who suffer for it.”
“That’s—that makes no sense,” you said, lacking a better description for something that sounded ridiculous and, frankly, surreal.
“I know,” he agreed. “But Sid’s mum is—he’s her only kid. And she really, really wanted to have kids. I don’t know the whole story—I never cared—but from what I’ve heard, Sid’s parents tried everything they could for a very long time to have children. They have the money for it. Still, nothing worked. And then, all of a sudden, Sid. Their miracle baby. Their little angel. Maybe if they hadn’t treated him like he was king, he would have turned out differently. But his mum doesn’t even hear the way he talks to her sometimes.”
You tsked, unimpressed. “I’m not surprised. Nothing’s sacred to him.”
“Yeah. He doesn’t care about others. And still, his mother is ready to unleash hell if anyone wrongs him,” Minjun said, reaching to brush some invisible dust from his upper arm. “The ironic thing is, though, everyone in my parents’ company was very happy when Sid was born. His mum was—well, understandably, she wasn’t the most pleasant person to be around when she was going through… all that, you know? And I say that respectfully. She threatened to bankrupt my mum after she got pregnant with me and tried to talk to Sid’s mum about parental leave.”
You’ve never met Sid’s parents, but you’ve had the misfortune of meeting Sid, and it wasn’t hard to imagine where he got his personality from.
“Ah,” you said. “So, the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree, huh?”
Minjun snickered and shook his head.
“Hmm, it doesn’t. But Sid’s mum found out a few weeks later that she was pregnant, too. And from then on, she was a real saint,” he said. “So, my parents were hoping that I could be the leverage if something went wrong in their business. ‘Oh, but our sons have always been almost like brothers’ kind of thing. That way, they won’t lose all their money if Sid’s mum has a sudden change of heart.”
“Fuck,” you concluded.
“Yeah. They would have gotten him and me engaged, too.”
“I’m surprised they didn’t, actually.”
A small, ironic smile had crept onto Minjun’s lips.
“I’m sure they’ve thought about it,” he said, looking at the bottle of beer he’d left across the room. He’d put it there because he didn’t want to drink if you weren’t drinking, but now he was regretting his manners. “Unfortunately, Sid isn’t my type. My parents had the decency to respect that, at least.”
You chuckled, and Minjun brightened a little, too.
“To be fair,” you remarked, “I don’t think Sid is anyone’s type.”
“Good point.”
You looked at the floor tiles and considered this. You wanted to know if it had happened before—something to convince Minjun that he should obey Sid as much as possible, or his parents would face the consequences—but you didn’t think it was fair to ask him to elaborate.
The way Minjun looked right now, with all colour drained from his eyes as he tried to keep smiling, it seemed like he knew exactly what Sid’s mum could do if her son said one word to her.
So, the two of you sat in silence for a little while longer, while shouts of excitement from the concert echoed around you.
“And, uh—what about Jude, then?” you asked after a minute. “Why does he stick around?”
Minjun didn’t make jokes this time.
“I honestly think Jude just doesn’t know any better,” he said. “He’s known Sid the longest. Their mothers were friends before Jude’s parents got divorced and his mum moved abroad. He just doesn’t know a different life.”
“You mean he’s too used to Sid to see that he is bad for him,” you summarised.
“I think he sees it,” Minjun said, analysing the plaster on the walls of the waiting area. “He just doesn't care.”
“Ah.” You nodded your head. “He needs help.”
“Lots of it.”
“Mmhm.”
That about confirmed to you that Sid had always been the problem. The poisonous leech.
Jungkook saw the problem, even if it took him a while. And Minjun saw it, too. It was just absurdly unfair that there was nothing he could do about it.
And then you wondered if Jungkook could do anything about it. He’d fought Sid and banned him from Rated Riot shows. But would that accomplish anything?
This was Sid. Sometimes it seemed like all it took for him to be summoned was just the mention of his name. He had to be at least half-demon.
“Kind of sad, when you think about it, isn’t it?” Minjun spoke up then. You thought he was referring to himself before he added, “that Sid doesn’t have one real friend.”
You grimaced.
“I’m—not sure if I’d call it sad,” you said. “I don’t think he deserves to have real friends.”
“Yeah, no, that’s true,” he settled. “Still, though. He acts like a king. And all he really has is just paper.”
You considered yourself a compassionate, caring person. But you didn’t think you were capable of genuinely pitying Sid.
“Did you come here to make me feel bad for him?” you asked. “Because if that’s the case, we might be here for a while, and I’m not sure either of us has the time.”
“No,” Minjun said, chuckling awkwardly. “He’s the last person you should feel bad for. I’m just saying… he’s miserable and he likes to make others miserable, too. Especially Jungkook.”
He gave you a look, and you turned away, realising that you were circling back to his original reason for talking to you.
You took another sip of water. It had warmed a little and tasted less violent in your throat.
“Yeah, well.” You popped your lips. “Pretty much everyone who knows Sid knows that.”
“Yeah, and I… I should have found you earlier,” he said, lowering his head in a manner reminiscent of all the times you had seen him avoid your gaze when you entered the room. “Sid made sure Jungkook couldn’t tell you, but I wasn’t—I could’ve told you about the bet.”
“That would have—well, it would have saved us a lot of, uh, time,” you said and gave him a kind smile that was supposed to let him know you weren’t really angry. But Minjun only felt worse after he saw it.
“I’m sorry,” he said. He looked up as he spoke and the regret in his eyes added a deeper significance to his apology. “I was… afraid, I guess. I don’t know how else to—well, it’s not a good excuse, but—”
“I get it,” you interrupted. “And thanks. It’s not really your mess to clean, though.”
He didn’t think it was. Still, he felt like he had let Jungkook down.
After seeing you two laughing together in your hotel room, Minjun hoped that Jungkook had explained his decisions—no matter how backwards they were—to you. So, now it was time for Minjun to say something, too.
“Jungkook, uh… he made the stupid decision to play Sid’s game,” he said. “And now you’re both suffering because of it. I don’t think you should give Sid that much power.”
You contemplated this for a minute and gave a slight shake of your head.
“See,” you said, “I think Jungkook is the one suffering because of Sid’s game. And I’m in this because of the consequences of a stupid decision that Jungkook had made.”
“True enough. He shouldn’t have cared about Sid that much,” Minjun agreed. The pounding in his head doubled as he tried to think of how to phrase himself next. “It’s not really my place to say, but um—I’ve been friends with Jungkook for most of my life, so I think I know him pretty well. He’s—he has always been in love with you. He’s just… blinded by a lot of irrelevant things. And I think he realises that now. He was really shaken up after the bet, and that’s when these things happen, isn’t it? Something massive strikes and it makes you rearrange your priorities. Well, his priority is you.”
Minjun felt your body tense next to him on the couch. He had never said anything like this to you—and Jungkook had never soberly told Minjun that he loved you, either—but it was about as obvious as your warm eyes and clenched jaw.
You knew it, too. You just didn’t want to acknowledge it.
“He made a really stupid decision,” Minjun reiterated. “And I think he knew that right away. Except you know Sid. He couldn’t let him off the hook, especially when he saw how miserable this made Jungkook.”
You hummed, incapable, suddenly, of a verbal response.
The shouts around you grew louder. Rated Riot were finishing the final song of the encore—and it started to sound like another band member had removed a piece of clothing.
“The bet and his feelings for you,” Minjun continued, “those are two separate things. So, I just—well, which one of them do you feel upset about?”
The anxiety in your lungs didn’t have much room to spare for oxygen, but the question still knocked all breath out of you.
“I—”
“No, actually,” Minjun said, closing his eyes and drawing back, “you know what? This isn’t something I should be asking you. I’m sorry. It’s something you should talk to him about. When you’re ready, of course.”
You still looked near panicked when Minjun glanced at you, and you hurried to respond in a way that would end the conversation, because the staff and the band would soon join you backstage. You needed another bottle of water before you could return to your job.
“Yeah. Uh, I’ll—I’ll see about that,” you ended up saying, which wasn’t much, but Minjun wasn’t going to push. “I’m, uh… they’re about to get off stage—I—I have to go check on them.” You stood up. You still hadn’t made eye contact with him. “We have an eye patch situation as you’re well aware, I’m sure.”
Minjun smiled courteously.
“I know,” he said. “But make sure to think about what I said, okay?”
“I will,” you said, trying to nod, but your head felt too full. You were worried that if you moved it, all of your uncertainty and fear would spill out.
You had hoped to delay talking to Jungkook about everything a little longer, but something in your universe was pushing against that.
“Thank you,” you said almost as an afterthought.
“Hm?” Minjun raised his eyebrows. “For what?”
“For staying with him.”
Minjun’s eyes warmed as his smile spread.
“He’s my oldest friend,” he said. “Of course, I’m staying.”
The usual lines of people waiting to meet Rated Riot at the merch stand after the show had tripled tonight. It appeared that almost everyone who had bought a ticket stayed back for the band.
You didn’t know if the eye patch had anything to do with it, but Maggie’s Instagram post with preview pictures from tonight’s show, half-jokingly titled “Rockstar Pirate”, quickly became the most-liked post on her account.
However, before Jungkook could go out and meet the fans, his bandages had to be changed. The intense jumping and sweating had not been good for his wounds, and the ten-minute shower after the performance had not been enough to prevent some fresh bleeding.
But that was to be expected. Some of his cuts were narrow but appeared deep.
What was unexpected, however, was his insistence that he was fine. He would just put the eye patch on and head right back out.
“Do you have any idea,” you scolded as you forcefully sat him down on the counter next to the sink in the bathroom of the venue, “what sort of problems I’d have if these got infected?”
You brought the cotton swab over the scrapes above his cheek, and he gritted his teeth as the antiseptic burned his skin. “It sounds like it’d be me who would have problems.”
“Yeah,” you agreed. “Maybe even sepsis. But I could get sued for not doing my job.”
“Hmm. And if I die?”
“Then I’d have a funeral to plan on top of that, too.”
He snorted and rolled his eyes. “I’m sorry my death would inconvenience you so much.”
“It would,” you said, pulling back. “So, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t die, seeing as I already have a lot to do.”
He grinned, always thrilled to tease you back. However, this time, he took the opportunity when you weren’t looking at him to ask, “how are you feeling?”
You glanced at him out of the corner of your eye, equally as determined to insist that you were okay and that the last two days hadn’t happened.
“I’m fine, of course,” you said.
“Of course,” he repeated dryly.
“I really mean it,” you said as you struggled to open the glass bottle of ointment. Jungkook had informed you earlier that the nurses at the hospital ‘had used something similar’ when he went there the other day, so you felt a bit more confident about this procedure. “I got eight hours of sleep two nights in a row. That’s unheard of.”
“I’m glad,” he said.
You finally got the bottle to open. Jungkook frowned and drew back.
“Well, can you be glad without moving?” you asked, approaching him with the ointment and a few cotton pads. You’d hoped the antiseptic had soaked into his skin by now. You didn’t have time to wait.
“Is that even necessary?” he asked, pouting and pulling his head back until he hit the mirror behind him. “This stings like a bitch.”
You were nearly leaning over him with all your weight to reach his face. One of your palms pressed into his thigh as you fought to keep your balance, and Jungkook stilled, but did not shut up.
“T-the cuts are not getting infected,” he insisted. He paused and bit into his lip ring when you exhaled and he discovered that he could feel your breath against his cheek. As soon as he realised that he didn’t actually pass out for a minute there, he continued, “do I really need bandages if I wear the eye patch? I personally think I’m—”
“You’re sweating under it,” you cut him off, your eyes narrowed in concentration as you traced the cuts on his cheekbone with the pad. You continued to speak distractedly, “and it’s a rental, in any case. You can’t put that on a bare wound.”
He blinked and jerked his head to the side, nearly causing you to topple over him.
“Jungkook, come on—”
“It’s a rental?” he repeated, his face twisted in a comical expression of disbelief. “How—how do you mean?”
You sighed. You shouldn’t have let that slip.
“I’m sure they disinfect the costumes after they’re returned, so, don’t worry about that,” you said. “Now please—”
“It’s part of a costume?!” he shouted, but you grabbed the back of his neck with your free hand to keep him in place. He felt a sudden shiver ripple down his spine. “Wait, w-what—a-am I a joke to you?”
The corners of your lips quivered as you tried to resist a smirk. You dabbed the cotton pad onto the bruise around his eye and did not speak until you finished applying the ointment to every cut and scrape you could see.
“No,” you said then. “You’re not very funny.”
Locked in place by your cold hands on the back of his neck, Jungkook realised he did not have any reflexes left whatsoever. He did not have much of anything, to be honest, aside from a severe case of hot, violent wings in his stomach.
“Not very f—I’ll—oh, I’ll show you funny,” he finally managed.
He grabbed your wrist, halting your movements. Surprised—and, honestly, amused—you tried to pull back from him, but found yourself trapped in his grip as he jumped off the counter.
You pressed your lips together to stifle a laugh. He tried very hard to glare at you, but his lips were pursed in an obvious attempt not to smile back and his cheeks were tinted with the softest shade of pink.
A part of you was glad, actually, that he was restraining you right now because you weren’t sure if you would have found it in yourself to resist the urge to bring your hand over his flushed cheeks.
After a loaded minute, Jungkook finally released you and shook his head, turning his back to you in a dramatic demonstration of defiance.
“Jungkook,” you said. He could hear the playful lilt in your voice. “Come on, sit down. I’m almost done.”
“I’m wearing a pirate costume!” he protested.
“You’re not wearing a costume. It’s just an eye patch. Sit down.”
He shook his head again, but turned around, mustering as much irritation as he could. You were smiling and he was hardly capable of being angry about that.
“I look like Jack Sparrow’s long-lost, half-blind cousin,” he accused half-heartedly.
He looked almost scandalised when you laughed at this.
“You wish,” you teased, peeling off the adhesive tape from the new bandages that Namjoon was kind enough to buy earlier in the day.
“Excuse me?” Jungkook raised his eyebrows. “Now you’re going to tell me I’m not good enough to be related to Jack Sparrow?”
You were glad he did not move when you approached him again and carefully applied the adhesive pad to his bruises.
“That’s Captain Jack Sparrow,” you said.
He glowered, but his image crumbled the second he saw your grin.
“You nerd,” he said, breaking off into a soft laugh. His eyes were fixed on you as you gently tapped the edges of the bandages to make sure they stayed in place.
“Hey, now,” you warned, pulling back to give him a look that was about as stern as your tentative touch. “You’re the one who forced me to watch the films.”
Jungkook felt his smile spread—impossibly so. He thought he looked a little like one-eyed Joker now as he remembered watching films in your dorm room. He remembered how the two of you had complained about the slow wi-fi, which kept reducing the film quality to 240p. Remembered pretending not to cry when one half of the couple in the film died. Remembered getting distracted by the look in your eyes as you got immersed in the plot. Remembered kissing you. Remembered making you smile as you gently pushed his chest away and told him to ‘look at the screen.’
And then he remembered where he was now, and the dim bathroom brightened under your smile as you packed up your medical kit.
“Hey, so, um…” He swallowed, watching you walk away to dispose of the waste. “Can we talk, then? Later?”
Your head was still heavy, and you had a startling realisation that the only time the weight on your shoulders lightened was when you were with Jungkook—when you were smiling at each other like middle-schoolers on a clumsy first date.
“We’ll talk,” you said while trying to quiet down your thoughts that insisted that this moment here was a sign. That this was the decision. “When the time is right.”
Jungkook looked almost ready to protest, but then he realised you were teasing him for having said the same thing to you before.
He remembered how that conversation went—he remembered everything and with such clarity that his palms tingled and his heart pounded.
“3 AM, then?” he asked, grinning. “Will you come find me?”
You smiled back. “I’ll come find you.”
When the members of Rated Riot returned backstage after meeting fans, the drinks had already been finished. Everyone was leaving for the bus.
Jungkook knew better than to stay in the dressing room by himself—despite having banned Sid from his shows and being across the continent from him—so he asked Taehyung to wait for him.
Then, as he was unplugging his charger by the bathroom door, his phone vibrated with a text message—from Jude, of all people. Throughout their friendship, Jungkook didn’t think Jude had ever texted him personally, and not in their groupchat.
The text read, “come outside to the smoking area? Sid is fuming bc he can’t enter the venue.. gotta talk.”
Right away, Jungkook felt a sense of unease in the pit of his stomach.
He’d kicked Sid out in Cologne. What the fuck was he doing in Manchester?
For a brief moment, Jungkook toyed with the possibility of saying he was busy. He did have to return to the bus in case you would look for him, after all. However, he knew that not answering Sid’s call—because, really, Jude was just the proxy here—could have ugly consequences.
Why’d he fly to the UK? What was wrong with him?
It wasn’t that Jungkook felt afraid of him. He was annoyed more than anything—he’d blacklisted Sid, and still couldn’t escape him.
But Jungkook was afraid of the impact that his inescapable connection to Sid could have on you and your relationship.
“You know what?” he said, raising his head to look at Taehyung. “Maybe you should go ahead without me. There’s something I need to take care of first.”
Taehyung glanced at the younger member’s phone, then back at his face. “You sure?”
“Yeah, yeah, it’s nothing,” Jungkook said as he typed back a “K” to Jude. “It’ll just be a second.”
Taehyung merely shrugged. This reaction was so casual that Jungkook automatically assumed it to mean that the older member was going back to the bus.
“I can wait then,” Taehyung said instead.
Jungkook did a surprised double-take before he put his phone away. He realised suddenly that he was embarrassed for Taehyung to witness whatever would happen in the smoking area.
“No, it’s—I have to talk to Jude,” he said, hoping that the name would deter him, but the older boy stood his ground even more firmly.
“All the more reason for me to stay with you,” he said, making it clear that one black eye was already too much.
Jungkook knew they could continue to argue about this while Sid raged outside the venue. And he knew that if he refused Taehyung’s company again, the older boy might seek you out instead.
“Okay,” Jungkook decided. “That’s fine. You can wait here. Jude’s right outside in the smoking area, so—”
“Great,” Taehyung said, taking the first step towards the door of the dressing room. “I’ll come with.”
Jungkook watched him open the door. “Why? For the fresh air?”
His bandmate gave him a sarcastic half-smile. “To make sure you won’t need a whole blindfold for your performance tomorrow.”
Aware that he’d been outwitted, Jungkook rolled his eyes and left the dressing room with a protective Taehyung following behind him.
Sid, Jude, and Minjun were all gathered in the smoking area. Sid and Jude were standing tall—with Sid towering over the other boys, of course—while Minjun looked more like he was crouching. His eyes were downcast, and his posture reflected his wish to be anywhere but here.
Fortunately, Mick, the head of security, was there, too.
“What’s going on here?” Jungkook asked, his voice surprisingly firm—as if these people had never been his friends.
“This gentleman refuses to leave,” Mick reported, casting a scornful glance at Sid. Sid, in turn, responded by raising his middle finger. “I think that calling the police will resolve this issue faster.”
Jungkook would have loved to see Sid in the back of a police car.
But he was worried that this would only cause you more problems with the label. The executives were okay with Rated Riot embodying the rockstar stereotypes, but they probably wouldn’t approve of any police involvement.
On the other hand... why not get rid of Sid once and for all? If he continued to preach his truth without listening to anyone else, it might do him good to spend the night at the station. And if he was high, too, or happened to have something on him—both were likely, Jungkook decided when he glanced at the pockets of Sid’s puffy jacket—then he might stay in a cell for a while longer.
“Give me a minute, Mick, please,” Jungkook asked, taking out his phone. He’d decided to try to handle this quietly, but he still wanted the option of calling the police.
Mick looked at Taehyung for confirmation—which irked Jungkook, because he didn’t like being reminded of his young age and relative lack of authority here.
After Taehyung nodded, the bodyguard turned back to the vocalist.
“Alright,” Mick said. “I’ll be right inside.”
Minjun raised his eyes suddenly, and Jungkook expected to see relief on his face. He saw anxiety instead. Minjun regretted that Jungkook was getting involved again.
After Mick left, Sid finally stepped into the light from the neon sign above the exit. Immediately, Jungkook started to feel more confident about his eye patch, because Sid’s face was red, black, and blue, and so swollen that he could have auditioned for the role of the pumpkin in Cinderella.
“You have one minute to state your business and get your ass out of here,” Jungkook told him. “Or I’m calling the cops.”
Sid scoffed. Challenged by the doubt in his eyes, Jungkook unlocked his phone.
“I’ll pretend I don’t know that you’ve blacklisted me,” Sid snapped, ignoring Taehyung’s presence—which was alarming, because that had never happened before. Sid typically only showed his true self to those closest to him. Or to total strangers. “But it has come to my attention that Minjun broke the rules of the bet, and I can’t ignore that.”
Of course, Jungkook thought. Of course, he would follow him to a different country, even after their fight. Sid thought they had unfinished business.
“Technically,” Minjun said, “the rules don’t apply to me, seeing as I’m—”
“Seeing as you’re the one supposed to enforce the fucking rules,” Sid finished for him, feral rage dripping from every single word he spoke. “What should I make of that, hm? You’re picking sides?”
“I’m not—”
“Your parents won’t like that, I’m sure,” Sid added because he couldn’t help but always assert his dominance with veiled threats.
Minjun clenched his jaw. He remembered the repulsion in your eyes when he told you about this earlier. He felt himself gain strength from your reaction.
“Grow some balls,” he rasped, “and keep our parents out of the shit that you pull. We’re not in kindergarten.”
Sid narrowed his eyes and took a threatening step closer to him.
Meanwhile, Jude leaned over Jungkook to provide an unnecessary explanation, “Sid knows Minjun gave you back the keys.”
Jude smelled of booze and of something intentionally sweet. Ignoring him, Jungkook kept his gaze on Sid.
“It’s just a bet, dude,” Jungkook said before Sid decided to raise a fist. Minjun had never fought anyone before. Jungkook didn’t like his friend’s odds. “Let it go.”
Sid turned his head in what seemed like dramatic slow motion.
If there was a worse thing that Jungkook could have said, he hadn’t found it yet—Sid looked about ready to bite his head straight off and tear it into little pieces before feeding the remains to baby cheetahs or whatever scavengers he undoubtedly raised in the backyard of his family’s mansion.
“That narrative works out awfully well in your favour, doesn’t it?” Sid sneered. “Considering you walk out of here with the girl, after all, hmm?”
“The girl,” Jungkook countered, “was mine to begin with.”
Sid laughed, throwing his head back. “You were ready to give her up for a game just a few weeks ago!”
Jungkook clenched his fists. He couldn’t help but notice that it was “the girl” in particular that Sid brought up as unfair.
Taehyung watched the younger boy’s body language. He knew what might happen next: Jungkook had nothing to say to that, so he seemed intent on shifting the conversation to a more physical level. A level that would likely result in more black eyes and knocked-out teeth.
God, when did he and Luna become babysitters?
He let out a sigh and took a step forward. “We should go, Jungkook. The bus is leaving soon.”
Grounded by his voice, Jungkook glanced at the older member. Taehyung nodded and Jungkook took a deep breath to relax his muscles. He turned around.
There was no point to any of this. He had nothing left to prove to Sid.
“Oh, that’s right,” Sid called out as soon as Jungkook started to walk away. “You don’t have shit to say, so you leave. Fucking typical. Once a loser, always a loser.”
Like any rational person, Taehyung groaned and opened his mouth to suggest calling the police since Sid clearly didn’t want to go away quietly.
But the older member wasn’t able to react quickly enough when Jungkook suddenly whipped around and marched back towards Sid, his expression not just determined, but downright murderous.
Minjun widened his eyes and stepped into the gap between the two boys.
“Drop it, Sid,” he said, facing away from Jungkook. His voice sounded nervous, but he pushed Sid’s chest to prompt him to take a step back.
Sid stepped back—and then took another step to give the impression that he had pulled away voluntarily.
“Why should I be the one to drop it?” he demanded.
“Because you’re the only one who still cares about it,” Minjun said.
“And I’m one part of the bet,” Sid argued. “So, it’s hardly fair, isn’t it? I won the bike.”
Jungkook calmed down when he lost sight of Sid. Instead, he noted that Jude hadn’t objected once.
Technically, three people had made the bet, but Jude seemed to consider himself part of Sid now. Or he simply didn’t care about being involved anymore.
Taehyung lingered by the door, keeping quiet as Minjun handled the unfolding situation.
It was difficult not to say anything, however, because they seemed keen on having a discussion here, yet no one was bringing up the thing that seemed the most obvious to Taehyung: the real reason why Sid cared about the Katana so much, considering that he could have easily bought twenty of them if he wanted.
Just then, Jungkook chuckled sardonically.
“You just want to win for the sake of winning,” he said, giving Minjun a grateful pat on the back and stepping out from behind him.
Taehyung was taken aback by the statement. He had assumed—perhaps unfairly—that Jungkook would resort to violence to make his point. He wasn’t expecting the younger boy to voice everything that he’d been thinking.
“You don’t care about the bike,” Jungkook continued. “You just want me to suffer. Or—oh, that’s right. She’s the one that you really want. That’s what this is about, isn’t it?”
Everyone in this empty lot behind the building, including the stray cat that monitored the scene from across the street while licking its paw, watched Sid hesitate.
Probably for the first time in his life, Sid was confronted with the unexpected increase in his heartbeat.
He scoffed. Then scoffed again. Then once more, so that everyone and their mothers would understand that he found the accusation ridiculous.
And everyone understood, really. But Sid’s fidgeting wasn’t making the point he thought it was.
“I don’t know what the fuck you think you’re implying,” he retorted. “I’ve—I always get what I want. Why the fuck would I play games about—I never fucking grovel for girls. I don’t care how hot they are—”
“Right. But not this time, hm?” Jungkook countered. “You couldn’t get what you wanted, so now you’re doing everything you can to make sure I don’t either. You want to make us both miserable.”
Sid was embarrassed, Minjun realised as he watched his jaw tighten. He was utterly humiliated that someone would accuse him of having a crush.
“No. No, that was you. You made yourself miserable,” Sid deflected. “I had no part in that.”
How pathetic, Jungkook thought—but there was a satisfied smirk on his lips. He’d seen through Sid. And he’d forced him to lose his composure. Forced him to defend himself.
Jungkook remembered your description of Sid’s appearance last night; namely the comparison to a sewer rat—which was, honestly, very unfair for the rodent in question—and couldn’t hold himself back.
“Seeing your face every day actually brings me nothing but misery,” he said to Sid, “so you can’t escape the blame there.”
Taehyung looked away and puckered his lips to hide his reaction to the immature remark. Even he had to give a point to Jungkook here. Childish or not, it was clever enough to make Sid squint his eyes and hesitate once more.
“Don’t change the subject,” Sid said, which made Jungkook smile wider. “You broke the bet. The bike is mine.”
Minjun cut in with a groan.
“Sid, for fuck’s sake,” he said, tired of listening to the same thing over and over—and over—again. “It’s just a bet, so just fucking drop it. We’ll pay off the Katana if you care so much—”
“No.” Jungkook reached out a hand to touch Minjun’s shoulder, cutting him off. He glared at Sid. “You know what? You can keep the fucking keys to the bike,” he said as he pulled the keychain from his pocket, removed it, and tossed the keys roughly at Sid’s chest. The older boy scrambled to catch them. “Choke on them for all I care.”
Despite the venom in his words, Jungkook did not lose the sneering smile, and Sid’s eye twitched when he looked at him.
It didn’t feel satisfying when he held the motorcycle keys, but Jungkook was the one who looked like he won.
Jungkook turned away before Sid could come up with another mocking comment to make him stay, and headed towards Taehyung, who looked a little confounded.
The bassist needed a moment to process that the conversation had ended because Jungkook had decided it was over.
Taehyung felt quite proud of him, and when Jungkook looked at him, he reached out to tousle his hair affectionately. Jungkook backed away from his touch with a groan but still gave him a grateful look.
Instead of entering the venue, Taehyung led Jungkook to the side of the building, gesturing at the pack of cigarettes he had in his pocket.
A puzzled Minjun caught up with them a moment later.
“Why did you do that?” he asked while Jungkook turned to watch Sid and Jude walk away—both of them looked a little awkward, like they weren’t sure if the show they’d started was really over. “Why did you give him the keys?”
“He can keep the bike,” Jungkook said. “He’s never getting anything that really matters anyway.”
Minjun and Taehyung exchanged a look. They had both heard Sid stumble over his words earlier. They could tell that Sid had hoped the bet would end with Jungkook losing you, and not just the motorcycle.
Minjun still wasn’t sure if Sid’s actions were motivated by his wish to make Jungkook suffer, or if he really had feelings for you.
But he supposed it didn’t even matter anymore. Jungkook seemed ready to go to war for you either way.
“So, what—what are you going to do?” Minjun asked.
Jungkook shrugged and stuffed his hands into his now-empty pockets.
“It’s too late to do anything,” he said, smiling at his friend. “There’ll be other bikes. I don’t—it’s not what I’m worried about.”
Minjun nodded. He knew Jungkook wasn’t thinking about Sid actually trying to make a move on you. You’d snap his neck if he tried, and leave his body for the crows and pigeons to enjoy. Everyone knew it, and they would have wholeheartedly supported your reaction.
No, what Jungkook was really worried about was that Sid might have already done irreparable damage to your relationship. Minjun had hoped to help Jungkook by talking to you, but he wasn’t sure if it was any help at all.
“Good riddance,” Taehyung said slowly. “Sid, I mean.”
“Oh, yeah,” Minjun agreed right away. “Fuck him.”
“I can’t believe he’s here, though,” Jungkook said. He turned back to make sure that Sid had really left. “You think he’ll come to Glasgow, too, just to fuck with me?”
“Honestly, he might,” Minjun admitted. “He’s got the bike, but he can tell he didn’t actually win. He might want to retaliate.”
Jungkook groaned. Despite his hopes, he feared that Minjun was right.
“What can he do, though?” Taehyung asked, taking out the Marlboro pack from the pocket of his oversized leather jacket. “He’s alone.”
“Yeah.” Minjun pointed at him in agreement. “It’ll be a while before he finds someone who will follow his orders.”
“Well,” Jungkook said as Taehyung passed his cigarettes to both boys, “Jude might.”
“Jude can’t wipe his own ass unless he’s high as a kite,” Minjun said—his vowels softened by the cigarette between his lips. “I’m fucking pissed that he left with Sid, but—I mean, there’s nothing we can do.”
Taehyung opened his engraved Zippo lighter with a crisp click. He lit his own cigarette, then did the same for Jungkook and Minjun.
“If he shows his face anywhere near us again, I’m calling the cops,” Jungkook decided, shakily inhaling the smoke. “Tonight was the last time. I gave up the bike. I don’t care whether he thinks that’s enough. There’s nothing that he can hold against me anymore. We’re done.”
Minjun smiled at this.
Truth be told, he felt a little giddy from the significance of this moment. He’d never spent any time with Jungkook’s bandmates, and he knew it was because of Sid. Taehyung would not have offered them cigarettes if the obnoxious menace had been here, so this moment felt a bit like the start of something new. Something better.
Minjun exhaled the smoke while Jungkook confessed, “I don’t know what it’ll be like with him gone, though.”
Taehyung scoffed so vehemently that the smoke from his cigarette nearly got caught in his throat.
“I know,” he said. “Better.”
Minjun smirked and Jungkook nodded in agreement, but he still looked a little pale and wide-eyed as he toyed with the cigarette between his fingers.
“We’ll be fine,” Minjun promised. “Might get bored much faster because Sid won’t be here to think of ways we could kill ourselves, but honestly, I’ll take it.”
“Yeah, no—definitely.” Jungkook tried to smile, but there was something else on the tip of his tongue. He took a deep drag and slowly blew out the smoke before speaking. “This is, um—kind of weird, I guess. I don’t think I’ve ever said this to you, but, uh—thank you. For being… for being yourself.”
Taehyung looked away, exhaling smoke into the parking lot to give the two boys more privacy without actually walking away from them.
Minjun was smiling, too. “Who else would I be?”
“You could have tried to be Sid,” Jungkook pointed out.
“Fuck no.”
They both laughed, and Taehyung stopped trying so hard to hide his smile.
For a minute, Sid’s absence was very palpable and it felt absolutely blissful.
“You’re welcome,” Minjun said, just when Taehyung offered, “another one?”
He pulled out another cigarette for himself and passed the rest to Minjun. While the two of them lit up another round, Jungkook finished his first one.
He was restless all of a sudden. This tended to happen to him, especially lately—the longer he was away from you, the harder it was not to think of you.
You’d told him you’d find him so you could talk.
What if you were looking for him? And he was wasting his time dealing with Sid’s temper tantrums again?
“I’m going to go,” he announced to the other boys as soon as the thought crossed his mind. He dropped the cigarette and stepped on it, twisting the sole of his shoe to put it out. “If those two come back, knock them out or call the police, I don’t care. I’ll see you on the bus, yeah?”
Taehyung chuckled, much calmer to let Jungkook wander off on his own now that he’d seen Sid leave with his own eyes.
“Sure,” he said, blowing smoke out. “You’ll be alright?”
“Yeah. I think so.”
As he walked towards the door, Jungkook remembered what you’d told him in Stockholm. You’d been right back then.
If he surrounded himself with people who genuinely cared about him, he would have enough voices to keep his mind calm. He would have someone to call if he was alone.
He would be okay.
Jungkook came to a sudden stop in the corridor when he heard your voice inside Rated Riot’s dressing room. The door was ajar, and he could see your profile as you leaned against the dressing table and talked to someone. He bent down to listen and recognised Luna’s voice in there, too.
“Did Nick text you again?” Luna was asking you. “After that time on the bus?”
Naturally, Jungkook froze on the other side of the door.
He didn’t mean to eavesdrop, really.
But who in the great fuck was Nick?
As quietly as he could under the circumstances—his heart had flat-lined for a second or two before breaking into the most passionate beating he’d ever experienced—Jungkook stepped to the side so you wouldn’t spot him through the gap in the door, and strained to listen.
“Yeah,” you replied with a sigh. Were you always this quiet when you spoke, or was he going deaf from his rapid heartbeat? “He texted me this morning. I didn’t reply, I was—well, with Jungkook.”
Now, Jungkook thought as he paled to match the plaster on the walls of the corridor, what—the absolute fuck—was that supposed to mean?
“But, uh, he said he’d like to arrange a formal meeting with me,” you continued, and the dressing table creaked as you moved away from it, “when he comes back from Australia with Reconnaissance.”
The terrified lightbulb at the end of the corridor flickered erratically as Jungkook frowned.
Nick Zhou—your supervisor at your first internship after graduation—returned to his memory. Jungkook had heard enough to understand that Nick managed Reconnaissance now.
That probably meant that you weren’t seeing anyone else. But Jungkook wasn’t sure if he was relieved by this.
“Are you going to go to this meeting?” Luna asked.
Good question, Jungkook thought. And then, immediately after—please say no. Please say no. Please say no.
“I… I don’t know. I think I should,” you said. Jungkook dug his nails into the pillows of his palms. “All our conversations about this had been over the phone, you know? I think it might be good to hear him out properly, face-to-face.”
“So, you’re really considering this then, huh?” Luna said.
You were quiet for a very long time.
Jungkook measured each second of your silence in the beats of his heart: bang-bang-bang, one, bang-bang-bang, two, bang-bang-bang, three.
“I guess I am,” you finally said. “N-not because I suddenly decided I don’t want to work with Rated Riot anymore. I just—well, in light of everything that happened, I think that hearing Nick out just seems like a… reasonable thing to do.”
Jungkook decided he’d heard enough.
He thought he knew what you would say next. He knew what happened. He knew what this “everything” was.
His immaturity. His constant dependence on you.
His tendency to fail at everything that he tried to do for you.
His inability to prove that he deserved another chance with you.
Finally, the bet.
So, there it was, then. He’d always been terrified of letting you down, and he did that anyway.
Exhaling shakily, Jungkook turned around and crossed the corridor toward the main exit where the tour bus was parked.
You were supposed to talk. Now he wasn’t sure if he’d find what to say.
If Jungkook hadn’t walked away, however—if he’d stayed for a minute longer—he would have heard what Taehyung caught as he returned to the dressing room, biting on the filter of a new cigarette.
“If it really came down to it, then—you know,” you were saying, “I-I couldn’t be with him, and still be his manager at the same time.”
The door creaked.
“Oh.” Taehyung stopped in the doorway, not sure if he was more surprised by your words or by the unexpected noise from the door. “Sorry, am I—? I can leave.”
You had been cleaning up backstage when Luna joined you after she lost track of Taehyung. That made you realise that you hadn’t seen him or Jungkook in a while. But now that Taehyung was here, the two of you looked at him as if you had never seen him before in your lives.
The expression on Taehyung’s face was not at all ambiguous. He knew what he’d just heard. You hadn’t used Jungkook’s name, but he was everywhere in this room and in your eyes.
Noting your expression and the way the can of beer in your hands began to tremble, Luna slid off the couch and walked over to her boyfriend.
“We were looking for you!” she exclaimed with far more anger than she actually felt. “Where were you?”
“I was—Jungkook and I just—we stepped outside for a second,” he said as he pulled his cigarette out of his mouth and tucked it behind his ear. “Sorry.”
“You could have texted,” Luna said, her voice rushed. She glanced at you over her shoulder. “We were just about to head back to the bus, weren’t we? That’s what we were discussing.”
“Right,” Taehyung said. “Well, I didn’t hear anything else.”
God, you thought. The three of you were the main cast in a poorly scripted tragicomedy all of a sudden.
“Yeah, we should go,” you said, hoping that the warmth you felt all over your body didn’t show on your face—it didn’t. But your panicked gaze still gave you away. “We’re leaving in half an hour. Is he on the bus?”
Again, the pronoun that did not need an explanation—Taehyung nodded right away.
“Yeah, he—he was on his way there,” he said.
“Okay,” you replied. “You can go. I’ll pack the rest of our things first.”
“We’ll help,” Luna offered. “You need to rest as much as possible.”
You were afraid she would say that. But she and Taehyung began to gather the empty paper cups and the staff members’ forgotten phones before you could object.
Stunned momentarily, you realised—like Jungkook had before—that you were surrounded by people who loved you.
And you were afraid, suddenly, to lose this if you left to work with Reconnaissance. Just like you were afraid of what would happen between you and Jungkook if you didn’t leave.
The hopelessness of the situation stayed with Jungkook as he got on the bus.
He chose not to wait for you, and instead went to the mini-fridge to find Jack Daniels. And while looking for that, he also befriended Jim Beam and Johnnie Walker. Jose Cuervo was, sadly, already almost empty.
When you opened the door of the bus half an hour later—surprised (and a little concerned) to see that it was empty—Jungkook was already feeling a pleasant buzz. He wasn’t quite drunk, but he definitely wasn’t sober as he stumbled a little while trying to climb out of his bunk and stretch his legs outside before the trip.
The alcohol had dulled the pain a little—as it was notorious for doing—but he still flinched when he saw the door open and heard your voice outside the bus.
“You need help standing?” you asked—louder than he had anticipated—and he spun on his axis, gripping the stair railing to steady himself.
He was happy to see you. And so tremendously hurt.
“Nope,” he said, licking his lips. “I’m perfect.”
“Where’s everyone else?” you asked.
“Flat tire,” Jungkook mumbled, slurring the consonants as he joined you outside the bus. “Driver said we’d be here for another hour. He doesn’t have a spare. Everyone else went—for a smoke, I don’t know.”
His eye patch had slid off and was caught in his messy hair. But the bandages around his eye had remained in place.
His scent was whiskey, but the look in his eyes was sober pain.
You were a little afraid of him like this because you didn’t know what he would tell you next.
“Mmhm,” you said. “And, uh—how come we’re drinking tonight?”
“Ah.” He chuckled. “We have our reasons.”
You waited for him to continue by counting the dark pebbles under your shoes. He leaned his back against the metal railing of the bus steps and gave you a long look.
“Sid’s here,” he said.
You looked up, aghast. Terror was the first thing you felt, and aggravation followed shortly after.
“What?” you questioned. “How?”
“He followed me to Manchester for the Katana,” Jungkook explained. “Minjun had given me back the keys, and Sid found out about it.”
“I thought you had—”
“I had,” he confirmed. He’d triple-checked with Mick to make sure Sid was really banned. “He couldn’t enter the venue, so Jude texted me to come outside. Mick suggested calling the police.”
You liked Mick. Everyone did. He was the quiet backbone of this entire tour.
But you didn’t like that Jungkook seemed to disagree with Mick’s suggestion.
“Why didn’t you?” you asked slowly. You thought you understood why Jungkook decided to finish off the most expensive bottles of whiskey that you had on the bus. Sid’s unexpected reappearance was a good reason to drink.
“I would have,” he said. “But I gave Sid the keys and he left. He’s got no reason to come back now. We’re done.”
You appreciated the cold wind on your face, because learning that Jungkook had given up his Katana willingly—to get Sid off his back for good—was painful. It felt heavy in your chest and in your lungs.
“Oh,” you managed.
“I really mean it. If he decides to show his face again despite that, I’m—I’m letting Mick handle it,” Jungkook promised. “He can call the cops or do whatever else he wants. Sid wanted to win the bet, well, he won it. I’m not going to see him again. I really mean it.”
His voice grew in volume despite getting hoarse. He was so distressed that he was nearing hysteria.
It occurred to you that he thought you would blame him for this. Like it was his fault that Sid was so dedicated to his craft of being a pest that he travelled across Europe for it.
“I’m not saying one word to him ever again,” Jungkook continued, all his words coming out in one breath. “I’m—I’m done. I swear. I’m not going—”
“I know,” you cut in softly before his panicked rambling could get worse. “I believe you.”
“I—” he stopped. His face regained some liveliness. “Thank you.”
“Is that your reason for drinking?” you asked, even though, deep down, you knew it wasn’t. “I thought we were supposed to talk.”
“I thought so, too,” he said, then inhaled sharply and plopped down on the bottom step, banging his thigh against the metal railing and wincing in pain. “Shit. But then I thought—I thought I’d rather get drunk than have my heart shattered. So here we are.”
Your stomach plummeted and the muscles all over your body jolted awake.
“What—what are you talking about?” you asked, looking around. Taehyung and Luna wanted to grab some snacks at the corner shop across the street, but you were still worried they’d catch you here.
Jungkook rested his head against the door frame.
“I’m... really, I’m tired of everything,” he said with a sigh. “I shouldn’t have messed around. I should have been honest with you about—about everything right away.”
You leaned your hip against the side of the bus. You appreciated him talking to you now, but you both knew that this hadn’t always been the case.
“You... should have been,” you concurred awkwardly.
“But I wasn’t,” he finished. “And now I’m too tired to keep trying. To keep knocking on a—the door is closed. Locked. I get it. You say you believe me, but I know the truth. I really fucked up. Not just with the—with the bet. I never treated you right. You do so much. You take care of everyone in your life.” He paused to take a breath. “And I’ve always been another fucking burden. I won’t—I won’t be that anymore. You won’t need to take care of me anymore. I promise.”
You looked at him with a worried wrinkle between your brows. “Jungkook, I’m your manager—”
“You’re my everything,” he cut you off and brought goosebumps to the surface of your skin. “But I’ve been fucking awful to you. You deserve so much better. I’m so—I’m so sorry. I have no right to—to expect you to come back to me. B-but I want to show you that I can be different. I want to show you the guy that I am without Sid. You know that guy. You know what he’s like. I want to show him to you again.”
You swallowed as your eyes drifted from his face to the rough gravel under your shoes, to the door of the venue, and eventually settled on your own crossed arms.
You felt tired, too, but this wasn’t what you were expecting to hear from him. You wondered what brought this on so suddenly.
“I really don’t want you to leave,” he continued. You straightened, realising what this was about. “But I… I understand if you will. I’ve always been selfish when it comes to you, but if I want—I want you to see that I’m growing. And because of that, I can’t hold you back.”
Your heart was beating too much, too intensely, too desperately for you to respond.
It felt—and, evidently, your heart realised it before your brain did—like Jungkook was making the decision about the rest of your life for you. A decision that you didn’t want to make.
“It’s over,” he said. “I get it. But the band loves you. We need you. You’re our—we’re nothing without you. We’re not Rated Riot. But we—the guys wouldn’t force you to stay. And I know I can’t do that, either. So, if leaving the band is the right choice for you… then you should go. You should always do what’s best for you. I wish I was what was best for you, but I’m not. Actually, I don’t think there’s anyone who would be good enough for you in my eyes, but—”
“Jungkook, please,” you finally whispered—the words painful on your numb tongue.
“Right, sorry,” he pulled back. You were afraid that if you closed your eyes, you wouldn’t be able to hear him anymore. “What I mean is, you deserve the best, and I’m so fucking far from it. I love you so much, but I don’t know if that’s enough. I just—I want you to know that if you decide to stay with us, I’ll never let you down again. But if you choose to go… I-I would understand. Ultimately, it’s your choice, as it should be.”
He stopped talking and allowed the night to fill the silence.
You didn’t know what was going to happen next.
He’d told you a lot over the past few days. He brought back a lot of memories, a lot of mistakes. And now he was taking action, too, to make sure to fix those mistakes. To make sure he didn’t repeat them.
He made a bet with Sid.
And this bet tried to prove that he still hadn’t changed, that his friends were still his main priority. But he black-listed Sid from Rated Riot’s shows and gave up his bike to make sure Sid didn’t come back.
The bet tried to prove that the two of you still couldn’t communicate. But he told you everything that he had been too afraid to say in your relationship.
The bet tried to prove that he didn’t really care about you. But he stayed with you when you were feeling your best and when you were at your most vulnerable.
The bet tried to prove that he only cared about himself. But after telling you how much he loved you, he was letting you go.
Again and again and again his words echoed in your head.
The determined I’ll be here, and the tentative It’s a song about my favourite thing in the world.
The terrified I can’t lose you, and the confident I’ll always love you.
You didn’t want to believe him when he had told you he loved you—and that was what this was about.
You were afraid of what it would mean—of what would happen—if all that there was to it, if all that hid under your uncertainty, was just your love for each other.
Minjun had made a reasonable point when he asked whether you were upset about the bet or about Jungkook’s feelings.
Perhaps the bet had quickly turned into an easy excuse not to be together. It was bad, it was awful, it was so terrible—but all it really did was provide a comfortable cover for your own fear and anxiety about him. About yourself. About you, together.
In retrospect, probably the worst repercussion of the bet was that it returned the two of you to the same place you were in before you learned about it. The place where you both wanted each other—so much—but you couldn’t.
As the silence continued to envelop the bus, competing with the night for dominance, it swallowed the sounds of the distant chatter of the people nearby.
You pulled back from the bus. It was time to stand up. Time to go.
“Come on,” you said quietly. “It’s getting cold.”
Jungkook looked at you from the bottom step by the door, and you realised that he’d been wrong that night in Manchester when he said that your favourite thing in the world was the night sky.
It wasn’t.
It was the stars—whole constellations, each formed after a specific moment in life—and the moon, and half of an entire galaxy in his eyes.
It was the way they brightened when he smiled at you, and the way they narrowed when you teased him. It was the way they stilled when he was listening to you speak, and the way they softened when he saw you at every venue. At every practice. Every soundcheck. Every concert. Every hotel. Every empty European street. Every night, and every morning. Year, after year, after year, after—
Your hands trembled as you watched him, realising with a startled burst in your chest that he loved you. He has loved you for as long as you’ve known him.
And against all odds, against all rational thoughts and fateful coincidences, against all wishes upon stars, you realised that you’ve always loved him, too.
“Yeah,” Jungkook said, standing up. “Let’s go.”
chapter title credits: the devil wears prada, “salt”
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