#other kinds of grief. which is somethn i had been incapable of for years now…? or mostly incapable anyway. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

celestialmancer · 7 months ago

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EMDR was supposed to happen today but didn’t, & I legit missed my appt for it last week that was supposed to make it 2 appts that week

So, taking that as my sign from the universe telling me i need to take it easier these days w reprocessing stuff, given how intense EMDR has been getting (which, fair given the subjects that come up during it, ig…)

#legit it was shortly after an EMDR sesh addressing the root of… everything… that led to my spiral regarding M. 3 weeks ago #by root cause if everything i mean upbringing & family shit bc things w them are… well… that’s for priv discussions.#but also ive noticed ever since starting EMDR ive been going through a lot of significant emotional changes #biggest & heaviest one tho has been finally feeling /everything/ in full that id numbed & repressed for 10+ years #some sooner some earlier than that. but yeah. & so now i’ll legit at random momebts during the day just start going through crying & like.#other kinds of grief. which is somethn i had been incapable of for years now…? or mostly incapable anyway.#idk. things have been strange since 2020-2021. which is the time i finally started going down this. path of. trying to heal everything &.#so many things that started coming to surface since. & me ending up in therapy as a result bc of starting to grieve & process a lot.#& like actually properly starting that process… but i’ll ramble abt that later i suppose.#ishtar rambles ;

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