#oscar...pls just commit to someone

[musubiki]

OSCAR?????? OSCAR FANS ARE EATING GOOD TODAY WTH (IT MAKES so much sense he'd be the dude to randomly have a bunch of exes bc how could you not when he looks like that 😭

OSCAR APPRICIATION HOUR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! for real though as madam springs takes him more and more under her wing and he becomes The Doctor i can just see any random magical npc adventurer running into him like (oh this is the guy that i heard about from like 10 different women)

[28ms28]

MY Rating of F1 drivers based on their personality(more sway) and their track presence and racing

1. Charles Leclerc

(Track Menace who is also Pookie Bear) (unintentionally funny) (just an inchident) (canonically listens to sad songs after bad races) (piano man was at some point higher in the iTunes chart than at the actual championship standings) (clueless cringefail loser) (Ice-cream man) (14 year old Max Verstappen's nightmare) (best qualifier on the grid imo) (idk something about someone who is on course for achieving greatness and will not stop until he achieves it no matter the cost, something about so much sacrifices for something he got soo close to achieving something that did not work out in the end something about how he devotes himself to Ferrari like no one else could before him something about how fate chose him to be in that seat something about how he made it look easy something about how it looked like the way was paved for him something red red red idk something about web weaving) (dogdad) (we love Leo) (went to Lewis Hamilton school of naming his dog after his rival) (oh and dreams about community services with said rival) (very strong mental health and even bigger therapy bills) (did i mention he's il predestinato of the tifosi) (biggest Ferrari fan) (only one who knows how to race max verstappen) (he was an ankle biting child see any photos of his childhood as proof) (everybody is maxplaining victim he's a maxplaining enjoyer) (suffers from middle child syndrome) (Seb's Ferrari child) (committed parricide on Sebastian Vettel in 2019 and 2020)

2. Max Verstappen

(pookiest pookie to ever pookie, track lion, big brother, catdad, certified victim ,about to be 4 time world champ, deserves so much more love, so so so incredibly talented, he's just a shy boy your honour ,free my man he did all of it but yeah vibes, because I'm dutch, fifa legend(just online), Danny kvyat has nightmares about him, geography nerd, has zero skills in any other physical sport, is planning to become a sim racer, tu tu tu du max verstappen (fun lore about Max did you know this guy was ranked 21st in the world in ultimate fifa in 2018(or was it 2016?? Doesn't matter) like can you imagine being that insane like bro you are a f1 driver in a top team like pls ??) (community service enjoyer) (certified yapper) (is terrified of fuel stations(jos verstappen when I catch you) ) (#1 lecfosi) (cringefail loser and he knows it) (teammate destroyer) (has read every rule in the rulebook and knows how to break every rule in the rulebook legally ofc all legally) (Seb's redbull child) (on his way to break every single one of Seb's record just to spite the old man)

(And is friends with an old Austrian man somehow)

3. Oscar Piastri

(Pookie bear, Mark Webbers child that has Sebastian Vettel's evil aura (Mark you will never know peace), koala, polite cat, eldest sibling energy, Android lover, Carlos Sainz's nightmare gremlin, loves cricket(cannot play well bless his heart), #1 lestappen shipper(I respect that) is also somehow the eldest of the lestappen children(his granddads are Webbanso) ) ( Him and Fernando have plotted the downfall of alpine) (I have a feeling he hates Zak brown deep down which I agree with) (grill the grid champ(like I said aura of Seb Vettel))

4. George Russell

(British individual(derogatory), king of radio messages (oh crikey), has an evil aura which is probably why he gets along with Nando, makes amazing powerpoints(facts!!), head of the gdpa and he takes it V.E.R.Y seriously probably the admin to the f1 driver group chat, part-time driver part-time strategist, he's a better driver than people give him credit for unpopular opinion but I think he can be a wdc or least a close wdc contender if given the right car I think if he was in lando's car in 2024 he probably would have taken the fight to max idk about winning but he's for sure no easy breeze, f3 and f2 wdc too, very memefiable or wotever the word is) ( T pose)(t.a.l.l.)(one sweaty boi)

5. Carlos Sainz

(Spanish chilli, smooth operator, dog lover, says bye to his racing career after 2024( no wait let me tell you something let me finish let m- *shot*), certified zoning out( Carlos has been called to the stewards), Lewis Hamilton hater prolly, certified Fred vassuer hater, poor guy really he leaves whenever a team is getting good like come on, has had very good teammates and has been friends with them, in 2025 will become the third person in history to have raced for Ferrari, McLaren and Williams, I feel like he lacks a bit of aggressiveness in his racing like he operates smoothly and intelligently sure but yk you should have a bite yk )(whenever he finds this said bite and aggressiveness it's usually against his teammate I'm noticing you Carlos I'm noticing)( loves Lando Norris, golf master but humble about it, Maria Karey, one of the mature drivers on the grid, excellent at all sports, James aeiou has a crush on him, Lana del Ray coded, him and max were torro rosso nepo babies).

6. Lewis Hamilton

(7-time world champion, goat behaviour, was friends with P Diddy, rich cool wine aunt, #blessed, fashionista, Hammertime, Fernando Alonso's nightmare gremlin, don't ever mention 2016 in front of him, is haunted by Nico Rosberg, is neighbours with Nico Rosberg, will avoid Greece for the rest of his life, had a very public divorce, thus vegan, Silverstone 2008 you will always be famous, this Barbie is an f1 driver, still we rise guys, Toto Wolff and David Croft will sacrifice their bloodline for him, certified Micheal Massi hater, certified Bottas lover, we love him and Seb being the activists on the grid, this is getting manipulated man, did not survive Abu Dhabi 2021, did not survive Abu Dhabi 2016, has had caps thrown at him, Left family for Italian mafia, uncle I beg you please get your qualifying form back pls pls, is embarrassed by those toxic #teamlh and you cannot convince me otherwise, has let 2 baddies named Nico slip from him, ISS THAT GLOCK???, Bono my tyres are gone)

7. Lando Norris

(twitch streamer first f1 driver second, McLaren boy, hates papaya rules, has been multi21nd, mental health has been made very public by his own goddamn team, party-boy and DJ, fakes knowing how to play COD and Fortnite, very consistent racing good for him, terrified of first laps and poles, best friends with last laps and fastest laps(let's go Lando), shit at golf and geography but it's okay he makes up for it by being funny, probably misses being Carlos's teammate, but like Carlos lacks a bit of aggressiveness that is required, McLaren PR's nightmare gremlin, opposite of polite cat, has somehow managed to anger every fanbase and his car is the sole reason for the unification of RedBull, Ferrari and Mercedes, has been dealing with the wrath of Australia since 2021, at the end of the day just a curly haired guy ).

8. Fernando Alonso

(Spanish devil , Disney villain ahh character, 2005 and 2006 world champ, is looking for his 33rd win, Michael Schumacher's nightmare gremlin, grumpy old man first f1 driver second, lance lover(rare), Lawrence stroll's sugar baby, fast, prime Alonso I am scared of you, goat behaviour, holds a special grudge against McLaren and Lewis Hamilton(Alonso is sick of his ass), no more radio for the rest of the race, believes in karma, has dated Taylor swift apparently but is in love with Mark Webber( Jenson button is also somewhere in there), is known as El padre and has an el plan(everyone should be afraid), racecraft out of this world, 2005 Suzuka you will always be famous, all de time you have to leave da space, Alonso radio my love, aggressive but good racing the likes of which I have never seen and probably never will, what do mean by "I knew he'd brake earlier because he has 2 kids and a wife at home" like who says that what what??, worse career decisions than Ferrari strategies, bad luck so much bad luck, so chaotic so much chaos, has adopted Oscar and has plotted the downfall of alpine with him, Flavio haunts him, do not bring up Singapore 2008 in front of him especially not if Felipe Massa is present there, has driven the 2014 Ferrari and has not recovered from it, has outlasted Renault in formula one (wild), give Fernando Alonso 5 more points and he would be a 5 time wdc (even more wild), bye bye I'm still the bad guy)

9. Alex Albon

(alabonoo) ( bff with George Russell) ( is bullied by George Russell) (golf wag first f1 driver second) ( James aeiou has a favourite and it's Alex Albon) ( Alex really said I'm Thai first and a colonizer second and good for you Alex) (2020 Alex and 2022 onwards Alex are different people okay?) ( he's a consistent racer much like Lando but he makes mistakes more often, under pressure working is not his forte sorry pals but it had to be said) ( he's a really nice dude tho and really funny as well ) ( dude has a Chipotle member card as one of his essentials and you tell me I'm not supposed to love him come on be reasonable)(he has his own zoo he's a certified pet owner) ( if I had the money for that amount of pets I would do the same Alex I get it ) (also he's a Ferrari fan so you just know bro is always on hopium) (I think he gets put under the radar often but he's great) ( he seems to be a chill dude imo)(we both love lily)

10. Nico Hulkenberg

(German but like in a cool way) ( has been giving dad energy before he was a dad) ( called Hulk but is probably the calmest person on the grid) ( give my man Bruce Banner his podium nah it's not even funny anymore he deserves so much better than that) ( he's won le mans on his first try yk give him the Redbull seat for godsakes) (Nico is so cheeky like I know he's a gen x or something but like I see the genz potential yk) (Audi better have a car good enough for a podium I swear to god if we say bye to him before a podium I'm uhm I'm uh I'm gonna cry).

11. Yuki Tsunoda

(anime boi) (wants a restaurant before he wants a world championship and I respect that Yuki) (has an evil aura) (certified hothead because he's a certified good chef) (has the bitch spirit to be a Redbull driver but is not. because of Horner issues) (Yuki does make the occasional mistakes but like he's far better than the alt no?) (in the words of Yuki "idk man wotever") (too much anger for too small body) (is in love with Pierre Gasly) (is bullied by Pierre Gasly) (everybody loves Yuki even Nando is a fan)(tbf nandos a fan of anyone who has an evil aura) (people are terrified of Yuki radio as they rightfully should be) (Yuki is nightmare gremlin of every race engineer).

12. Pierre Gasly

(French but like from the north of France)(known for being French and Max Verstappen's teammate thus known for being fucked over by Redbull, also known for his revenge win in Monza) ( he's just a great driver like if given the right car he can fight at the top and win he's not on Max and Charles level yet but I feel like around George and better than Lando) ( he's also a good qualifier maybe it has something to do with speaking French who knows but yeah amazing what he can do in that shit alpine) (unfortunately he has a severe case of resting bitch face but he's very nice actually unless you are Esteban then he's not very nice) (yeah he also has the brocedes case of childhood best friends turned enemies but like French and he's very much Lewis in that way which means he would much rather ignore estie bestie than talk about him e.v.e.r while estie brings up his bestie Pierre wherever he can like Nico)( oh and he loves one Japanese boi)(pierreeee gasllyyyyy)

13. Kevin Magnussen

(Kmag the Viking) (my god nobody races like kmag lol) Okay so maybe I put him this high because he's a track terror to everyone but like watcha want me to do? Not acknowledging kmag's great defending is a crime, he is here to cause menace no matter how many penalty points he gains or races he's banned from he's really coming for Ocon's penalty points honour tbh. Shame really that this is his last season... just when things got interesting *sigh* (off the track he's a chill girldad) (hulk and kmag had an enemies-to-lovers story arc and I think that's beautiful)

14. Esteban Ocon

(he's French, he's from Normandy in France which is the north of France so you just know he was a bored child) (he and Pierre were bored babies) (which is probably why he races the way he does lol) (5-second penalty for Ocon) (no but seriously this guy has mad potential but also he's a mad teammate killer and not in a good way) (he has made a way for himself in formula one and he belongs here it's just that maybe if he tried targeting people other than his teammates he would make it much easier for himself) (he's a very cheerful person irl) (big Marvel fan) (gives very early teenage boy vibes) (softie at heart) (cannot for the life of him pronounce squirrel)(oh he also loves lance(rare)) (Estie bestie is on the podium babyyy)

15. Daniel Riccardo

(Aussie Aussie Aussie Oi oi oi ) (damn Daniel) (it's not tears it's athlete sweat ) (I mean I knew it was time to go but still it didn't have to be this way it's okay tho Danny is enjoying retirement and dirt bikes) (yeah the performance was just not there for Danny boi not that we could see it anyway because of vcarbs shit strategy or whatever they call it) (I miss prime Daniel he was such an annoyance to Sebastian)(2014 Daniel took the Australian revenge on Seb for his crimes against Mark Webber) (but yeah Daniel you go out of this sport with lots of love and a fastest lap)(ki ki aye)

16. Valtteri Bottas

(Finnish when he was in Mercedes but is officially Australian since then) ( Bottas more like Bott-ass get what I mean) (I mean that he has a weird obsession with his gluteus maximus) (Valtteri pls I beg you stop this behaviour) (10 time Grand Prix winner Valtteri has nightmares about James aeiou) (Valtteri it's James) (he's pretty chill all he cares about is racing, cyclist girlfriend, and his mullet+moustache(not necessarily in that order)) also here's a sad fact since Valtteri won't be on the grid next year it would be the first time a Finnish racer is not in the grid since 1989 yeah everybody is waiting for Robin Raikkonen now.

17. Sergio Perez

(Checo damn man what happened) (no 2 Redbull driver curse got to checo) (he was doing so good in racing point like Sakhir 2020 my beloved last to first, man what a performance that was) (he is capable of doing such great things but nooo bro gets knocked out in q1 more than he has reached q3) (Redbull killed the dawg in him man) (certain Austrian man haunts his nightmares and no it's not Niki Lauda) (he and Logan are the nightmare gremlins for mechanics)(even when he performs it's usually in no human right countries so he's not really helping the allegations) ( this poor Latina I swear to god) (he can't drive and he's up and about with other women(Taylor swift 1989 reference) aye aye aye(checo go home to your wife and children).

18. Logan Sargeant

(American) (bald eagle noises) (collective groan of William mechanics) (sorry logie bear)(James aeiou shall face the wrath of Jenson button it's ok) (first American to score points in f1 since 1993 that's 30 years so yaaay!!) (American history will be kind to you Logan)(not sure about f1 history tho) (your last gift to us was a sick ass album cover and I respect it) (if only he knew what a kilometre was * sigh*)(bye bye miss American pie).

19. Zhou Guanyu

(China boy) (another alpine escapee) (Zhou I'm sorry but you're not him anymore) (I miss pre-Silverstone 2022 Zhou where has my dawg gone man) (Zhou may not be as good of a racer now but he makes it up by being a fashionista) (tbf to him that Sauber stake monstrosity is not really helpful so) (also he is a catdad and had an emo phase through f3) (He's the first Chinese to ever race in f1 I think he's done his country proud) (He's also a proud Valtteri lover)

Okay so rookies next I did not include them here well because they have had like on avg 4 races soo

1. Oliver bearman

(ollie) (what a wonderful job he has done my god) (p7 in Jeddah on a day's notice wow dude) (he's driving for Haas in 2025 and his teammate is Esteban so that's..great (my condolences!! ifykyk)) also points in Baku after he passed his teammate (tell me you are a lestappen child w/o telling me you're a lestappen child) what I've seen from him I can tell he's very relentless that's good(also he's the most employed unemployed person ever) (also I heard people criticising him by commenting on his current f2 season like babe did u see his rookie f2 season?? that's why he's here not because of this year but last year and he's not doing bad this year it's just the car is shit but yeah he was at one point higher in the f1 standings than in f2 so I get why people are confused lol) (also he's super likeable very Genz very demure very mindful) (Ferrari has grown him in a lab with utmost care so he's very much a PR baby)

(oh yeah also he's in love with Kimi Antonelli) (yeah they are being genz lestappen)

2. Franco Colapinto

(Frankie baby) (Argentinian and very proud) (is very funny) (is also very genz) (sent James aeiou into a crisis by doing a better job than Alex Albon) (scored 4 times the amount of points than his predecessor in his 2nd race) (looks like Senna goes for the gap like Senna( in racing!! in racing!! calm down man)) (he deserves his place in f1 next year my god) (like the racecraft he has shown is very impressive I'm impressed and so is very f1 team even if he does not get the seat next year I doubt people are gonna forget about him believe me he will be in the talks still) (like I said he's not even had a full f2 season when he was called in for Williams and yet the incredible pace he has shown is fantastic) (has all the 30+ aged drivers enthralled with him and I don't blame them I would be too) (also he refers to Ocon as the Frenchman so where do I submit my stan card??) (oh and he has been adopted by Max Verstappen)

3. Liam Lawson

(aka New Zealand's revenge on Australia) (he did a fantastic job in 2023 and has been doing a fantastic job in 2024) (his idol is Lighting McQueen.....so now that everybody knows that he's Genz you can probably understand why he is beefing with Nando and Checo(boomers) (I think he drives aggressively but not as smoothly he is yet to find a balance it looks like but hey it's working out for him no?) (honestly just give either him or Yuki the Redbull seat) (off the track he's quite an expressive person but I don't think we have seen much of his personality he's friendly for sure and I mean he's a cars fan like come on he's a Pixar kid) (idk something about him says yeah I'm Genz but I still go on Facebook) (not that it's bad not saying the vibes are bad just Liam show more personality).

So that's pretty much it let me kno-what ? what do you mean I forgot someone oh lance stroll?? yeah no I didn't forget(I wish) I just have nothing to say really.

PLS READ these rankings are in my opinion and my opinion only please be kind to me this ranking is for humorous and comedic purposes only no hate to anyone!!

[nyoomfruits]

In case you haven’t seen it yet 😇

https://youtube.com/watch?v=IrFWHMYAQiU&feature=sharea

i hadn't seen this yet thank you anon!!!! link

highlights because i'm watching it as i'm typing up this reply but:

something about how they're in the same outfit yet not. oscar shorts, lando jeans. oscar cap normal, lando cap backwards. idk it fascinates me

"head or tails oscar" "heads" [throws coin] "... what is that?" just. something about lando initiating heads or tails only to realize he doesnt know what is what is deeply hilarious to me

"NICE AND EASY OSCAR OR I'LL TAKE YOU OFF IN THE NEXT RACE" lando is such a little shit i love him

lando is so terrible but he does it with SO MUCH commitment

lando going "YEAH YOU LIKE THAT" and oscar being like "yeah... i love the commitment" like. pls oscar its okay you can tell your bf he sucks he wont break up with you

OSCARS LAUGH WHEN LANDO GOES "fuck you oscar" AND RUNS UP TO HIM PLEEEAAASE

also lando being SO ANNOYED at losing despite being clearly terrible at this sport and playing against someone who grew up with it. i love him

[tinkwrbell]

oi, oi, oi!!!! aqui quem fala é a tinky (de novo) e eu venho agora com alguns plot bunnies que eu quero MUITO. eu sou bem cadelinha de m/f e f/f então vários deles foram pensados/alterados nessa formação. são eles:

(p.s: para melhor visualização, é possível ler esses plot na minha page de bunnies, aqui.)

plot i.  (m/m of f/m)  give me the hollywood ‘it’ couple who’s sex tape was just leaked… one of them is a wholesome disney / nickelodeon alumni trying to make a break into grown up media and the other one is an oscar / grammy winner known for edgy work.

plot ii. (f/f pls) fchildhood besties slash roomates who get immensely drunk one night and have sex and then just continue to keep doing it because that’s the only way they think they can have each other. spoiler: both in love with each other and have been for years. but don’t wanna say shit about it cause they’re afraid of losing each other. cute angst!!!

plot iii.  (f/f or m/f) muse a and muse b run with vastly different social circles, but meet one night at a party held by a mutual acquaintance. although muse b is known for being distant, cool, and untouchable, something about muse a charms them, and the two end up talking about deep, personal matters, things they never thought they’d discuss with anyone, let alone a complete stranger. one thing leada to another, and the two wind up hooking up in the bathroom. the next day, muse a wakes up to find out that someone captured pictures of them making out with muse b – and that they’re all over social media. muse a and muse b now must attempt to navigate and attempt at a relationship, while dealing with the rumors and gossip sorrounding them.

preferência pelo muse b e pela female caso seja f/m.

plot iv. (f/f or m/m)  muse a is a player, preying on younger, vulnerable people, using them for sex before moving on to the next one, muse b is their karma. muse b is fiercely independent, and actively seeks out muse a, because they know they can count of them for meaningless sex. however, muse a falls fast and hard for muse b, and is now given a taste of their own medicine when they find themselves chasing a relationship with someone who doesn’t care for them at all.

plot v. (f/f)  two girls, muse a and muse b, have begun a secret relationship, hiding it from their family and friends. muse a wouldn’t mind keeping it a secret, if muse b wouldn’t stop insisting that this isn’t, in fact, a relationship. muse b claims that it’s just a meaningless fling, but muse a isn’t convinced. muse a wants muse b to commit to them, even if not publicly, but muse b refuses – at least, for now.

plot vi. (f/f or m/m) okay, you know this one. muse a and muse b went out for awhile a few years ago, but split up for whatever reason. now, years later, they find each other again in a hotel bar. despite all the reasons the relationship failed the first time, the two decide to get back together again – just for one night. for one night, they’ll pretend their breakup never happened, and that the outside world doesn’t exist.

plot vii.  (f/f, m/m or m/f whatever) how about the cliche (but can be personalized) your family took me in because my parents can’t take care of me and i hate the idea so i try to do everything possible to get kicked out and i start to flirt with you and seduce you out of spite but you respond really well and you’re really cute so we kinda get too comfortable and one day your parents find out and they give us an ultimatum that either we stop whatever it is we have or i have to go and.. i kinda like it here so let’s stop. but wait… we don’t want to end what we have, do we?

plot viii. (f/m, m/m or f/f rly wtv) ok so what about a plot based on starstruck? muse a is a very famous singer and muse b couldn’t care less, feeling constantly irritated about how much people workship muse a. one day, they somehow end up in the same city and same place, while muse a is trying to run away from paparazzis. while doing it, muse a hits muse b and they need to go to the hospital. it can be really like in the movies or different but with the fun essence of meeting a star you think it’s just shallow and irritating and falling in love through the whole process!!! just gimme.

plot ix. (f/f or m/m) a plot a lil based on supernatural but with amorous ending. muse a and muse b are both hunters with messy and painful background/past. they got to know each other while huntering and now they’re best friends for years, having each other’s back all the time, traveling to save other people from supernatural things, living in hotels, never having a stable house or anything stable at all. and while muse b wanted to have a different life, very distant of the one she/he’s living, muse a can’t see a life that isn’t in the hunter business. which can be a real big problem when they start developting feelings for each other.

dá um likezinho ou me chama diretamente no chat se você tem o famoso interesse em algum desses bunnies, meu amô. 🖤

[madmen]

all of them pls jodie comer janelle monae phoebe waller bridge, have fun

do you have a crush on anyone? yeee on my grilled friend! bitches be havin girled friends.

what’s your favorite candy? i am cadbury dairy milk bar’s bitch! i also really like kitkats especially the mini ones those are so good.

favorite love song? aaaaa it changes with the weather i like so many but can’t take my eyes off of you is always a classic both it and let’s get married (mitski cover) make me feel Warm and the past few months i cannot stop listening to mr mika tiny love. yes this question asked for one but this is me restraining myself i promise. OH it might be being alive from company actually.

what was your first kiss like? technically my first kiss lasted for .0001 of a second in a public high school hallway and it was by accident so i choose to disregard that one because the one after that was very nice imagine. you are on a BEACH it is MIDNIGHT she tastes like some type of wine and you are not sober and do not know what you’re doing so you’re taking MENTAL NOTES and trying to imitate what it feels like she’s doing but you want to live in this moment forever.

what was your last kiss like? it was sweet! well, more like salty because we were crying but it’s because we are simply full of love!

sexual/romantic orientation? i’m a (fleabag godmother voice) LESBIAN

do you prefer poems or love letters? love letters hands DOWN

favorite fanfic trope? i like it when they’re both friends and in love and afraid to say anything for fear of ruining their relationship. there is a name for this but i hate it so i will not say it it’s two words, first one with an m and second one with a p. Don’t know what it is about that second word but. hate it.

have you ever been in love? yes, highly recommend

favorite milkshake flavor? I don’t like milkshakes I think they’re ice cream soup which is disgusting but my favorite ice cream flavor is mint chocolate chip if that counts

dinner dates or brunch dates? I prefer the idea of brunch dates but I wake up hungry so in practice probably dinner dates but like. to diners so I can have breakfast food.

favorite flowers? Pink carnations! Honorable mentions to bleeding hearts and roses that are light orange or light blue or light pink.  

favorite perfume/cologne? no clue

favorite candle scent? if it’s sold during fall i probably love it anything pumpkin-y or slightly-but-not-too-much cinnamon-y

what’s your ideal first date? we go on a funky lil adventure! we see some fancy house and get food together and then see something else maybe a beeg church i like the way they make me feel small and they make me feel Whole when i’m there with someone i care about. maybe go for a walk in my head this is some city we’ve never been to and we just walk and talk and hold hands and point out pretty architecture.

favorite love story? in real life i am still losing it every time i think about how ronan farrow proposed to jonathan lovett via his BOOK. in fiction i am unfortunately stuck at 11 still losing it over both the doctor and rose as well as mary and matthew crawley.

what’s the most attractive thing a person could wear? idk i think suits are hot but i also melt when my girlfriend wears her oversized hoodie she just looks so cute and cozy! i feel like most things are attractive when you’re into a person. also lingerie.

chocolate, vanilla, or red velvet? vanilla!

snow, rain, or sun? rain but not too hard just a nice light mist

sweetest romantic memory? she wrote me LOVE LETTERS!!!!

favorite dating sim (and favorite character)? I have played all of one dating sim, which makes it my favorite by default. Unfortunately, it is UmaPri/My Horse Prince. I did not finish it I got impatient and my apartment watched a playthrough on youtube you don’t even get to fuck horse boy I don’t think you even kiss but it’s still so funny horse boy is obviously the best character.

fictional crushes? leia organa, cheryl blossom or betty cooper (whichever one is more likely to commit a crime on that episode), joan holloway, betty draper, villanelle, all the big little lies milfs, among others.

what’s your dream wedding like? it takes place at the johns hopkins library if i can’t have that then like. some fancy house or library or museum somewhere thats super neat. i don’t know what i wear but i look very nice. all my friends are there and it’s Very Fancy. elegant and refined thats the general Vibe.

what makes you blush? i have no clue i think sometimes when i drink my face flushes so we’ll go with that

do you believe in love at first sight? only in romeo and juliet. i think theres like. a spark at first sight maybe but also not needed for love ya know?

do you believe in soulmates? i don’t know i feel like theres like. maybe a list of people who are your soulmate? like it couldve been this one yea but it also couldve been someone else had circumstances been different like the world is soooooooooooooo big and sometimes theres right place wrong timing i think? i don’t know. 

denim jackets, leather jackets, or bomber jackets? on me? all of the above. on hot gals? leather jackets.

what’s your sign? taurus sun, leo moon and rising

are you single? nope i have a grilled friend! i love her!

do you prefer to charm, or be charmed? both!

guitar or piano? normally i’d say piano but rianne used to play guitar so mixed thots here also it’s so fun to try and teach her piano and hear her lil laugh when i fix her fingers on the keys. answer foggy try again later

favorite romcom (or any romantic movie)? when harry met sally!!!!!! 

do you fall in love easily? i don’t think so but i’ve only done it once so i could be mistaken

valentine’s decorations: yay or nay? i think they’re cute!

would you prefer to propose or be proposed to? what’s your dream proposal? I wanna propose which throws a real Wrench in Rianne’s concurrent desire to propose. Gotta keep the proposal a surprise, soz gang.

cloud gazing or star gazing? Star gazing!

do you like to dance? I cannot dance to save my life but god if I don’t fantasize about it every second of the livelong day

what’s your OTP? please do not make me admit to being into harry potter on main, and worse yet being into dr*rry and w*lfstar it is rightfully embarrassing.

kittens or puppies? I am afraid of almost all living things which includes kittens and puppies but I prefer pictures of puppies

coffee, hot chocolate, or tea? Cofy!

favorite soda? i hate fizz > : ( why does everyone like it when it feels like theres ants crawling on your tongue?

do you prefer gazing wistfully out the window or lying dramatically over the sofa? is there someone to give me atten shun? if so, i’m lying dramatically on the sofa. if i’m on my own it’s window time babey

favorite ABBA song? this one also changes over the years right now i’m gonna say voulez-vous

fuck/marry/kill? (anons name 3 people of your choice) this is so MEAN okay so phoebe waller-bridge’s dad was named in the panama papers i know she has the most exorbitant amount of wealth and i trust her to treat me right. that leaves jodie and janelle cannot stress enough how much i haaaaate having to kill any of them okay at the oscars we saw what janelle’s tongue can do so unfortunately we will be sacrificing jodie comer : / jodie i’m sorry i love you.

favorite pajamas? I don’t own pajamas because I’m a weirdo who either sleeps in their clothes or an oversized long sleeve t shirt and leggings

favorite liquor? vodka for mixing, sourz for shots

do you think about love a lot? yeeeeeeeeeeee

a walk in the park or a walk on the beach? i don’t like sand. it’s rough and it’s coarse and it gets everywhere. Honestly I think I’d rather just walk indoors i am anti fresh air got that sweet sweet hay fever

hand kisses or nose kisses? nose kisses!

what’s your dreamhouse? i wanna live in the city in an apartment and due to the fact that i am american it is unfortunately so big in my head no apartment has ever been this beeg and if it did exist i could not afford it but. it’s so pretty i have fancy kitchen cabinets and my living room is filled with bookshelf upon bookshelf of used books and it has room for my piano and i have a beeeeeg sleigh bed and black cherry furniture and a dishwasher and a laundry room. i come home and am filled with calm.

[brilliantfantasticgeronimo]

re: gentleman jack

watched it recently, here’s the impressions no one asked for:

well... overall, it was a bit different than what i imagined? i knew nothing about the real AL so i thought this was gonna be a Victor Victoria/Lady Oscar situation. 

the aesthetics were def. on point. there were some interior sets that made me forget the wild homoeroticism that was going on for a full hot second. plus all the [jaunty music] ! good stuff.

the production seemed committed to making this very fact/based. i suppose that’s why they didn’t want to explore the side-characters/ensemble as much. in fear of fabricating too much? maybe in s2 they’ll be more daring with doing stuff outside the ‘canon’.

it was strange that the b-plots didn't merge in the end. this first season felt like half a season, really. I was missing a climatic confrontation with the Rosenbros, even if not a final one. But the last ep only focused on the Ann/Anne side of thing, and everything else fell like it fell by the wayside.

a bit disappointing really, i was getting into the whole ye ol’ corporate espionage aspect of the thing.

Like, Thoma’s patricide subplot was engaging, but i’m at a loss at what was its thematic significance or influence was to the core story ? if it was only there so that they could put a formal wedding to inter-cut it with A/A’s metaphorical one... that was a lot of screen-time just to do that lol

i know one is ‘ann’ and other is ‘anne’ but pls don’t ask me which is which i already know im never going to learn it.

AL’s meeting AW like: “Uh, well, hooking up with someone with the exact same name, it is kind of a fun, narcissistic fantasy -“

that the main character is both a projection-dream and also kind of a capitalist pig was good. sometimes in period dramas they would change it so the. keeps the thing from feeling too indulgent.

like, lister claiming “this is my land!” with all the unearned righteousness of a colonizer/beta climate changer was a great mix of wanting them to stfu and also ~female empowerment!! u go gurl!!  lmao.

can’t say it succeed in making me wanna dig into the real historical background, but it did the mood for re-reading pride and prejudice? so, that’s something.

sidenote. i watched the first 2 eps of fleabag before the first 2 eps of this.

having the similar use of 4th wall breaking back-to-back gave me a bit of whiplash and made my brain think these were two stories in the same universe. still kinda suspecting they are.....#hc?

[neohzone]

ah, this was the one i voted for in your poll, and my expectations are always high for you because your writing is absolutely amazing, and you never fail to surprise me because you have exceeded beyond my expectations with this masterpiece, lana!!!! 💘 i’ll say it again: camp half-blood needs to build a cabin for you asap because you are the actual goddess of writing!!!! 🤩💗

ok i have so many favorite moments, but i’m just going to list a few or else, i’ll be sitting here, quoting back your entire fic to you 😅

Grateful, you complimented his painting—a mix of pink, yellow, blue, and purple watercolors that meshed together to resemble a galaxy. In return, he gave it to you.

omg is this that one digital drawing he showed the fans in that one art video he did on nct daily??? IT’S A MASTERPIECE, RENJUN IS THE NEXT RUBENS / RENOIR / VAN GOGH / MONET / MICHELANGELO / RAPHAEL / DONATELLO / LEONARDO / TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLE (also when will renjun release another art video pls i’m starving over here, i’ve watched that one way too many times and i think i still have his art saved on my phone LMAO)

Before you begin to eat, you notice that your curry has chunks of potatoes and slices of carrots on it—you abhor carrots more than anything in this world. Noticing your disgusted expression, Renjun slides his plate over without even batting an eyelash, so you can pick out the carrot slices and give them to him. It’s a routine thing for the two of you, since you’re an extremely picky eater and he’s not.

okay first off, relatable af. i take out all my carrots, too, and either also give them to my friend or i force myself to eat them all first, and then enjoy my curry afterwards. BUT THIS IS SUCH A SOFT MOMENT, LIKE IT’S JUST A PART OF THEIR FRIENDSHIP NOW, BUT LIKE AKJSDHFLAJKSDFAS I CANNOT, IT’S SO CUTE I LOVE IT, LIKE RENJUN ALREADY KNOWS THAT Y/N IS GONNA PICK OUT THE CARROTS AND HE DOESN’T EVEN COMPLAIN ABOUT IT 🤧🤧

“I don’t really want to though. There’s no point in getting her hopes up if I don’t like her back,” Renjun states matter-of-factly.

well, this is a valid reason, but also.... did he fall off a pegasus or get knocked in the head during capture the flag??? like hello?????? our lord and savior hwang yeji has a crush on him, he’s so blessed and this is his response what tf

“Yes,” you say dreamily, “You two start off absolutely despising each other, but neither of you can fight the tension building and eventually just get entangled in the throes of your passion!”

“Okay, Fifty Shades of Grey, calm down,” Renjun says, scrunching up his features in disgust. “Stop writing fanfiction in your head and come back to the real world.”

LAKSJDHFLAKJSHDF WHY’D HE HAVE TO CALL ME OUT LIKE THAT 😭😭

“No way,” you argue, when his words finally register. “How is it gonna work out if both of you are dense as hell?”

“Who knows? Maybe our denseness will cancel each other out, and we’ll fall in love instantly,” he shrugs.

“Of course. PEMDAS and shit,” you jokingly agree.

THIS IS THE FUNNIEST LINE EVER OMG I LAUGHED OUT LOUD HERE, PEAK COMEDY!!!! WOW LANA, THE OSCAR FOR HUMOR GOES TO YOU 💖💖

“Don’t most people enter relationships with the intention of spending the rest of their lives with each other?” he asks, skillfully dodging your question. “I won’t date someone if I think we’re just going to breakup down the road.”

alkjsdhflasukdj this lowkey made me reflect on myself lmaoooo i see dating as something to do for fun when you’re bored and i avoid the whole commitment thing rip BUT WOW RENJUN 🥺🥺 he really is a hopeless romantic, a softie underneath all those snarky comments and pessimistic sarcasm 💓💓💓

He gives you a look. It’s the same look that a twelve-year-old kid gives his mother when she makes him take a picture in front of a national monument that he doesn’t know anything about, nor does he care to. However, she insists, so he reluctantly trudges over to it and takes the picture—hands firmly balled up by his sides and his lips pressed into a hard line, no matter how much his mom tells him to smile.

So, in other words, Renjun looks like he wants to crawl into a hole and die.

I JUST LOVE THIS WHOLE ANALOGY SOSOSO SOOSOO MUCH, LIKE YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW-- PLS HAVE THIS ENGRAVED ON MY TOMBSTONE 

“Have you experienced any blackouts recently, like woken up without memory of the past twenty-four hours? Have you checked your body for any chip implants under your skin?” You eye him suspiciously. “Been beamed up by any UFOs? Gone somewhere haunted?”

Renjun gives you a pointed look, sighing. “While it is touching to know that you do, in fact, listen to me whenever I talk about topics I’m interested in, this is not how I wanted you to apply your knowledge.”

WAIT NO, THIS IS MY FAVORITE LINES OF ALL TIME IN THE ENTIRE FIC!!! I LITERALLY SAT THERE AND REREAD IT OVER TEN TIMES BECAUSE IT’S JUST. SO. SO. SOOOO GOOD!!!!! 🤩🤩 IT JUST ENCAPSULATES THEIR WHOLE RELATIONSHIP SO PERFECTLY FOR ME, AND I’M IN LOVE-- THIS ONE SHOULD BE ENGRAVED ON MY TOMBSTONE AND READ ALOUD AS MY EULOGY OK THANK YOU BYE

Speaking of sick, even though Renjun smells so good, you proceed to lean forward and vomit all over him and yourself.

Once again, you don’t feel that embarrassed because you black out soon after.

oh my god. lana, you really did that to y/n and renjun huh. legit though, this is the true test of friendship and love. see if he still loves you after this and even takes care of you.

“Well, he does. He came to check up on you like a billion times. I had to ban him from coming back until tomorrow,” Mijoo snorts. “He’s a really good guy, you know.”

ah, vomit picasso has passed the test. he’s worthy 💝

“You also said you were going to make me fall in love so hard that I’d forget my own name,” he points out. “And I didn’t, so that’s false advertising. Unprofessional and unethical? I could sue you.”

“You are so petty,” you squint. “And come on! That kiss didn’t make your forget? It made me forget!”

“I don’t like you that much.” He deadpans.

ASKDJHFALS THE BANTER RIGHT HERE!!!! I LOVE IT SO MUCH! I LOVE LOVE LOVE DIALOGUE LIKE THIS, IT’S SO WITTY AND WONDERFUL AND I ACTUALLY CAN SEE RENJUN SAYING THIS OMG also though, renjun really thinks he can say he doesn’t like y/n that much when he literally confessed to loving her the day before. ok, renjun, i see you. all men do is lie 😤

“I’m…”

You’re looking at him, waiting expectantly.

“I’m…”

You’re still smiling, but he can see the slight confusion in your eyes. He’s never felt like more of a moron in his life.

“Ren…jun,” he finally says after an extreme amount of concentration.

i think i laughed way harder than i should’ve at this. i absolutely loved this flashback; it’s my favorite part of the fic overall and ties everything together so nicely ✨

Fuck, he thinks, I’m in trouble.

yeah, me too, renjun, because i’m in love with this fic and i know the other parts of this series are gonna wreck me too 😭💗

overall, the dialogue is A++++++, the characterization is so spot on, i loved all the side characters, especially sooyoung kahsdklfas and i was so immersed in the story the entire time. it feels like it actually happened, like idk how to explain it, but it felt so real!!!! i was literally transported to camp half blood!!! i adore this so much, like i don’t have enough words to state how much i actually love this fic with my whole heart 💞 like if you have good taste, then you already know that you should stan talent, stan beauty aka stan renjun and lana 💗💗💗

ANYWAY MISS LANA, ILYSM YOUR WRITING NEVER DISAPPOINTS, I LOVE THIS FIC SO SO SOOO MUCH, LIKE IT’S IN MY TOP 3 NCT FICS, AND PERHAPS IT MIGHT EVEN BE NUMBER ONE 💛 THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SHARING YOUR GODLY TALENTS WITH US MERE MORTALS 🌷🌷

my best friend wants to be abducted by aliens.

pairing: son of athena!renjun x daughter of aphrodite!reader

genre: fluff, angst

word count: 14.6k (this was supposed to be 5k 😌)

author’s note: hi so here is renjun’s chapter to my 00 line x camp half-blood series (i’m sorry, i know it took forever)! thank you so much for all of the support, and i hope you enjoy 💞

warning: one (1) makeout session

You are currently crouched behind a cluster of bushes, trying to get a glimpse of your targets through binoculars. 

Does that sound stalkerish? Perhaps. 

Are you actually a stalker? Debatable. 

However, no matter how suspicious it looks, your motive is pure—for the most part. 

You’re spying on Kang Daniel (son of Hermes) and Park Jihyo (daughter of Apollo), both of whom are at the Archery Range. Jihyo is showing Daniel how to shoot, encasing him with her arms as she nocks the arrow for him. The tips of his ears are so red that they could practically be a flare; you can see how flamboyant they are all the way from your hiding spot. 

You start grinning like a maniac, excited that your plan is finally unfolding. 

You had noticed how awful Daniel was at archery during a training session a couple weeks ago, and you casually suggested to him that he should ask Jihyo for some lessons. You’ve always known that Daniel has been hopelessly in love with Jihyo since the moment he saw her (it’s a child of Aphrodite thing—you can just sense it), but she’s been oblivious to it this entire time. 

Well, until now. 

Just as you guessed, sparks flew immediately. You could cut the sexual tension between them with a knife. You give them a couple more passionately-charged archery lessons before they inevitably surrender to their emotions and begin to date—and your predictions are never wrong. 

“Another job well done, Y/N,” you mumble proudly to yourself, “Mom would be so proud.”

“Excuse me, ma’am. I’m going to have to ask you to stop loitering by these bushes and stalking those two campers over there, or else I’ll have to report you to the camp director,” a sudden voice from behind you says. 

Letting out a loud yelp, you drop your binoculars in surprise and whip your head around to see who it is. You turn so fast that you almost fall backwards into said bushes, quickly using your palms to balance yourself. 

“Renjun, you asshole!” 

Keep reading

[kellykadesperate]

the fake dating au

(which must be actually written properly by me very soon) 

~ robert is this really hard working business man who just isn’t given the break by his boss (aka lawrence white) who just hates him for never following through with a proposal with chrissie and basically dumping her arse 

~ rob’s like a free little bird and basically has no real ties, no home (he rents), no family, and it’s not good for lawrence because he could up and leave any second 

~ and also robert is robert so builds up a great rapport with clients and it only pisses lawrence off further basically 

~ anyways so robert has vic and it’s her wedding day, he goes alone and everyone’s dishing out the whole “when will you settle down love” talk to him (especially diane) and he just isn’t having any of it 

~ then he clocks eyes with the bloke recording the wedding there and it’s all awkward because vic is like pressing for them to talk because the camera guy is adam’s best mate, is gay and well she is dying for her brother to just settle the hell down with someone 

~ aaron is like … Charmed and gets all weirdly smitten by robert in the space of like one night and it’s all really cute and awkward 

~ robert records a message for vic and adam and says something like “hopefully i’ll find an idiot to marry one day too” and aaron is all cute and tries to ask him out for a drink but robert just doesn’t get the subtleties at all and just thinks aaron is banging on about living in yorkshire and travelling down to london for the wedding

~ and then comes the whole throwing the bouquet thing and vic thinks it’s funny to throw it at rob and he catches it, everyone starts laughing and then aaron’s like shoved on his knee and it’s so Awkward and then someone takes a picture of them looking at each other weirdly loved up

~ anyway so a few days later … robert wants a higher position (naturally) but soon realises that he won’t be given one because of his lifestyle and the fact that lawrence can’t guarantee he would stick around for years because it’s not like he needs to support a family, or pay off a mortgage or whatever 

~ he’s like hellllaaaa pissed and then all of a sudden, lawrence is like “fine then, i won’t judge, you can have the raise and the office and a better title”

~  robert is like ??? and then it turns out that they all think that he’s engaged … to wedding video guy all because of vic and her big mouth and the fact that she showed lawrence the picture of them looking like they actually liked each other 

~ it’s all mad but at least robert has the job and then a girl from the office below them ~ let’s say her name’s lola for the lols ~ starts becoming interested in him out of nowhere and he realises it’s because he’s sort of off limits now and that’s somehow dangerous to her and he’s a proper bad boy now 

~ so they start sleeping together, her fully knowing that everyone thinks he’s seeing this bloke who he’s made out is like some hot shot ‘film maker’ and of course everyone just believes him

~ then bang, shit hits the fan because aaron goes and bloody makes himself a hero, he’s suddenly on the news because whilst filming a wedding, a fire broke out and he managed to save a little girl’s life and everyone is like what!a!hero!

~ robert loses his shit completely because everyone starts asking him questions about his brave hero fiancé and he’s just like … noooo oh my gosh noooo

~ vic is all apoplectic and starts saying that she had no idea it would be so public, that it will die down but then lawrence is all like “the owners of harding and ryle are really interested in this, they’ve offered to buy you and aaron dinner whenever you’re free” and robert can’t do anything about it 

~ so he ends up meeting up with aaron and aaron is just the same, sort of hates all the attention and pats on the backs he receives from people around, and he is like so happy to see robert again but he suppresses it as best he can and gives robert the chance to say why he’s rocked up

~ so robert is all like “well uh - a lie sort of got out of hand and now i really need you to come down to london with me and pretend that we’re engaged for just like one dinner and then you can break up with me really epically and you’ll never have to see me again. please?”

~ he offers to pay for everything as well and that’s when aaron gets all sad and annoyed about it because he’s like “mate, keep your money, i was thinking about going down to london anyway, asking vic for your number and seeing if you want a drink so… don’t worry about it”

~ and robert’s all stunned and a little bit flattered by it but ignores that and just thanks aaron for sort of agreeing 

~ so then aaron like fully comes down to london, comes right into the office and robert does the whole snog your face off with aaron in front of everyone to prove how much they love each other and even whisper something like “grab my arse and pull me into the office” and it’s just Insane

~  shows him around his flat, shows him the sofa he’ll have to sleep on because it’s only a one bedroom flat, and it’s all cute and sweet and aaron is like enjoying himself a little too much if he’s honest 

~ robert is robert and gives him this manual to look over and it’s got everything he needs to know about their 'relationship’ and then he leaves for 'work’ (lola rings him - booty call basically) and he goes running, but it gets interrupted when aaron shows up out of the blue and sort of makes a show of rob in the middle of the hotel 

~ aaron’s all like “she’s your girlfriend? why am i even here?” and rob has to tell him to chill the hell out because it’s not a big deal and he needs to stop making out like it is - and aaron hates that he's bloody jealous ??

~ that night rob sort of opens up about what he’s written in the lil manual and it gets all deep because he mentions his dad and his mum and the watch he always regretted pawning after he left home because his dad gave it to him he doesn’t even know why he’s telling aaron but it’s like so easy and he just starts realising how soft aaron is and it’s so fluffy 

~ by the next day aaron is like an official member of robert’s fan club and he knows all about robert’s life, his favourite colour, how he likes his coffee, and literally just everything and he is just fully Ready for this nice little date night dinner they’re having 

~  robert gets a lil awkward because it’s like aaron doesn’t remember what’s happening that night … the whole breaking up thing and he has to remind aaron before they leave 

~ and aaron’s all like “yeah of course” about it as he just can’t stop making heart eyes at robert and then robert’s all like “nice acting there, save it for the table though pls” and aaron has to shrug it off with a laugh when he’s really dying inside because the last thing he wants to do is stop seeing robert 

~ so they have this nice dinner and everyone is like full of compliments for them and how amazing they look together and everyone LOVES aaron, one client even says “you can see how much he thinks of you” to robert about aaron and robert is like flawed because he doesn’t want #feelings over aaron at all

~ like the night keeps going on and on and robert is almost waiting for aaron to start banging on about how robert works too much and that he isn’t committed but it just doesn’t happen, aaron keeps shifting the conversation and then they’re all dancing and aaron feels all tingly when robert holds his waist just … because 

~ and so he plucks up the courage to actually say “you know i don’t mind coming down a few weekends, maybe you don’t need to end this tonight …” and robert gets all pissed like “this is why i should have paid you!” because the last thing he wants right now is to see aaron for any longer 

~ they go back to the table and then robert starts really messing with things like saying “oh aaron by the way i can’t come to your family thing because of work sorry” but aaron is just like all smiles and really not letting robert break it off so easily 

~ so robert has to step it up a gear and pretends that someone’s called aaron and it’s his 'bit on the side’ suddenly everyone is like tut tut maybe this bloke isn’t amazing anymore and robert says something like “i’m sorry but you went against our - commitment to each other, our deal and - if i’m honest, you’re not as nice as i first thought you were”

~ aaron sees through it and like internally just says 'fine’ and starts letting rip, banging on about how he doesn’t give a toss about him, how robert never even tried to understand him just a little because all he cares about is work … robert thinks he’s just acting and then he says something like “to think i was actually fallen in -” and aaron turns so red that he has to just run out of the restaurant because he’s so embarrassed 

~ robert finds him later and tries joking about it all, saying that aaron deserves an oscar for his performance and aaron tries to laugh it off but it’s so clear that he meant what he said

~ rob’s all like “maybe i could buy you a drink before you leave …” but when aaron actually goes to actually accept suddenly lola parks up and robert’s all like “i’ll see ya back at the flat later yeah?" 

~ rob’s with lola and proper trying to get into it but then he’s like … "i need to go, sorry” because he feels so bad ?? because he’s made aaron look like a dick in front of important people and it’s not fair at all

~ when he gets back, aaron is like already packing his things away and when robert tries to explain to him that he’s sorry, aaron’s all cut off and reserved 

~  then the phone rings and it’s diane who is dying to have a word with aaron, robert tries to make an excuse and then aaron actually speaks to her and he’s so soft and warm with her and robert is like Charmed and it takes him by surprise 

~ he’s all like … “listen maybe you were right about … about you know, you coming down a few weekends” and aaron gets this hopeful look in his eyes and promises to sleep on it 

~ robert’s all happy, almost giddy about it and he tells vic that maybe aaron’s actually going to stick around for a lil longer … lawrence overhears and he’s all like - “i’ve checked into this aaron and it’s not pretty, he might be a hero but he wasn’t always like that trust me, if you carry on with him then - there’s the door”

~ and robert is like crushed ??? because he doesn’t know what to do but then he’s robert so he blocks out his feelings and sort of lets aaron know that lawrence knows about his criminal charges and doesn’t want someone from his business with someone like that and he can see how hurt aaron looks

~ but aaron just shakes it off and goes like “well we weren’t really dating so it doesn’t matter, look i’m going now okay?”

~ and then things get all Emotional and robert blocks the door all like “you were always just supposed to go away … don’t make it hard now" and aaron just pushes past him, won’t accept the money and leaves 

~ robert is the definition of a #kicked puppy™ and he goes around acting like one until he has to present this new business venture idea in front of a new client and then he finds that aaron found the watch his dad gave him - the one he pawned when he left home and it’s like the most Sweetest thing anyone has ever done for him and he is just blown away 

~ so he goes up on stage and is just like "i can’t present today … because - because of aaron, i lied about everything” and everyone is so shocked about it and lola is like wtf but he doesn’t even care because he just knows that he’s going to be sacked so he starts collecting all his stuff but lawrence actually stops him!!

~ lawrence is all like “it’ll take a few days to smooth this over … why don’t you go up to yorkshire and sort things out”

~ and robert actually goes because he can’t stop thinking about aaron and he finds out where he leaves and it’s so damn dainty and cute and he doesn’t know what else to say but “thanks for the watch" 

~ and aaron tries telling him to leave him alone because he doesn’t like being messed about but robert’s all like pls just listen but aaron just won't 

~ in comes chas who lets robert know that aaron’s working in the local church that night and that he should go and see him because "he hasn’t stopped banging on about investment banking and it must have something to do with you judging from your suit”

~ so robert is like all awkward, standing behind aaron who is filming this wedding and he won’t leave his side until the reception and he explains himself 

~ cue mushy shit like: “yeah i’m an idiot, and i’m manipulative and i don’t care about anyone’s feelings but my own and i’m - i’m so stupid for letting you go like that. but i miss you, i miss seeing you sleeping on my sofa and - well i don’t want you on my sofa anymore if you know what i mean”

~ and aaron’s all shy suddenly and doesn’t know what to say but, “i really really like ya, so this - i can’t do this i’m sorry” and he knows it doesn’t make sense but robert seems to get it because he says “i wouldn’t hurt you" 

~ aaron doesn’t say anything, just looks away and then robert sighs and says "okay yeah i probably would, more than once if i’m honest, but - but you make me want to be good and - maybe you’ll be the idiot i want to marry one day”

~ that makes aaron look up, eyes all watery and then he just marches towards robert and snogs the lights out of him and robert pulls away and says “i could love you” and then aaron just shrugs like “maybe i already do” and robert is just like stunned completely because someone might love him, someone good might love him and it’s everything he needs to know 

~  and then it finishes and we DIE

🙃🙃🙃

[viralhottopics]

While You Were Offline: Free Nuggs. Pls RT

As of this writing, most of the internet is discussing the US missile strike in Syria, Russia’s condemnation of it, or some combination of the two. Oh, you thought fast-food Twitter weirdness, Wendy’s promised a user named Carter Wilkerson a year’s supply of nuggets if he could get 18 million retweets. Wilkerson immediately went to work:

HELP ME PLEASE. A MAN NEEDS HIS NUGGS http://pic.twitter.com/4SrfHmEMo3

— Carter Wilkerson (@carterjwm) April 6, 2017

His plea seemed like a long shot, but eventually it started getting traction—amassing over a million retweets in 48 hours and rallying others around his cause.

@rafficlassiy @Tom_Ruffin @carterjwm @ConanOBrien @jimmyfallon @TheEllenShow @MeninistTweet @McDonalds @RickandMorty @chrissyteigen @pizzahut We should make a Facebook page to support him and start making a real effort..if he were to get 18 mil that would be record breaking history

— Wheelerrrr (@redneckxice) April 7, 2017

@carterjwm I am emotionally invested in this.

— Mary Numair (@MaryNumair) April 6, 2017

Our boy is trending in twitter

This man needs 18m retweets for a year's supply of nuggetshttp://bit.ly/2nVSSox

— lil' conno from 69th (@larkin_conner) April 7, 2017

Even Wendy’s was cheering him on.

@MarkPygas @hellxxn @carterjwm Nah, not afraid. It would honestly be pretty awesome if he got that many.

— Wendy's (@Wendys) April 6, 2017

@joewest_ Call us Captain like Nathan Fillion, Carter wants nugs for 18 million, Tweets for eats, drop in the bucket, worth it all for chicky nuggets

— Wendy's (@Wendys) April 7, 2017

1 Million?!?! Officially SHOOK http://bit.ly/2orIPvd

— Wendy's (@Wendys) April 7, 2017

Soon, mainstream media picked up the story and Wilkerson had his own Twitter Moment. The attention didn’t get him much closer to his goal, though. But considering that Ellen DeGeneres’ Oscars selfie only surpassed 3 million retweets, his quest was surprisingly successful. The Takeaway: So far, Wilkerson has amassed some 1.7 million retweets, but that number is climbing.

The Ballad of Devin Nunes

What Happened: When House Intelligence Committee Chairman Devin Nunes stepped down from the government’s investigation into Russian interference in the presidential election, the internet stepped up with some commentary. Where It Blew Up: Twitter, media reports What Really Happened: Let’s journey back to a more innocent time last week, when the biggest thing in the world appeared to be the news that Devin Nunes recusing had said he wouldn’t leave his post. So why’d he do it?

Devin Nunes to step aside from House Intel Russia investigation after ethics complaint http://pic.twitter.com/Zv3VjoMN42

— Bradd Jaffy (@BraddJaffy) April 6, 2017

Oh, OK. As the news broke, Twitter responded as one might expect Twitter to respond:

TIMELINE: Nunes on March 28: "why would I" step down from the Russia probe? Nunes on April 6th: steps down from Russia probe

— Evan Rosenfeld (@Evan_Rosenfeld) April 6, 2017

Devin Nunes is stepping down so he can spend more time with his flop sweat and vacant, nervous stare

— Ike Barinholtz (@ikebarinholtz) April 6, 2017

Nunes re-election slogan: Once you've tried everything else, always do the right thing.

— Jason Kander (@JasonKander) April 6, 2017

No Nunes is good Nunes?

— Jon Lovett (@jonlovett) April 6, 2017

But while some were noting just how devastating investigations into the Trump administration’s potential ties with Russia had been—

In the past month, journalists' work led to recusal of Sessions and Nunes. "Fake news" is taking real scalps.

— Justin Miller (@justinjm1) April 6, 2017

"Hoax" Trump/Russia story having a lot of real world impact:

Manafort (Resigned) Flynn (Resigned) Sessions (Recused) Nunes (Recused)

— Judd Legum (@JuddLegum) April 6, 2017

—others were complaining that Nunes had surrendered too easily.

Nunes should not have recused himself. Most likely pressured by Paul Ryan to do so. Deep State at work.

— John Cardillo (@johncardillo) April 6, 2017

How many Dems stepped aside?

How many Dems recused themselves?

Stop playing the Democrat game.

Finish repealing #Obamacare @potus #Nunes

— Real Erin Cruz (@WAGNERGIRLE) April 6, 2017

Some conservatives, however, were happy to see Nunes go, if only to welcome his replacement.

I would like to thank Soros for filing bogus complaint against Chairman Nunes because now Trey Gowdy is in. The lefts worst nightmare. http://pic.twitter.com/hyalac5EAq

— Ex-DemLatina (@terrymendozer) April 6, 2017

Dems, you happy now? Chairman Nunes stepped aside.

Well dumbasses, now you've got the relentless & fierce Trey Gowdy.

DEAL WITH IT. http://pic.twitter.com/w9Qcyy31hJ

— elle #MAGA (@SurfPHX) April 6, 2017

The Takeaway: Another day, another upheaval in Washington. Speaking of…

The Nuclear Option

What Happened: It might seem like the internet isn’t a big fan of tradition, but the response to the changing of rules in the US Senate might suggest otherwise. Where It Blew Up: Twitter, media reports What Really Happened: It was a big week in the US Senate, as the confirmation of Supreme Court nominee Neil Gorsuch heated up. Firstly, lined up enough votes to filibuster the nomination, leading to this suggestion to Senate Republicans:

Senate GOP has a choice: break the Senate rules or sit down w/ Dems & POTUS to come up w/ a nominee who can earn 60 votes.

— Senate Democrats (@SenateDems) April 6, 2017

Rewrite rules or abandon Gorsuch and come up with an alternative option? In these partisan times, it’s easy to guess which option the Republicans chose.

McConnell is poised to use the Nuclear option setting in motion the Mutually Assured Destruction of the Senate as a deliberative body.

— John Hergt (@natureofthings7) April 6, 2017

As @SenateGOP change Senate rules for Trump, voters will remember that they broke their promise to serve as a check on POTUS

— igorvolsky (@igorvolsky) April 6, 2017

Grassley, heading into vote, confident that Rs will blow up filibuster. Says Senate will return to rules used "from 1789 to 2003."

— Dave Weigel (@daveweigel) April 6, 2017

The so-called "nuclear option" in Senate votes means, "following the Constitution."

— Ann Coulter (@AnnCoulter) April 6, 2017

And so, a of and

BREAKING: Senate votes 52-48 to repeal rule allowing filibusters against Supreme Court nominees, clearing the way for Gorsuch confirmation

— Reuters Politics (@ReutersPolitics) April 6, 2017

How did that go down, do you think?

Moment the senate "went nuclear" and changed the rules the chamber was somber, silent, barely a breath.

— MaryAlice Parks (@maryaliceparks) April 6, 2017

BREAKING: The United States Senate

— Jesse Lehrich (@JesseLehrich) April 6, 2017

The Senate #GOP just used the #NuclearOption to push through Gorsuch to final vote, even w new #TrumpRussia revelations daily. #WeObject http://pic.twitter.com/W6Ro0i1qW9

— NARAL (@NARAL) April 6, 2017

So was there a Republican SCOTUS nominee that could have gotten 60 votes? Probably.

Were Senate Republicans interested in finding out? Nah.

— Matt Fuller (@MEPFuller) April 6, 2017

.@SenateGOP To sum up: GOP just changed Senate rules b/c they didn't have votes they needed to get outcome they wanted. This is an attack on democracy.

— Women's March (@womensmarch) April 6, 2017

The Takeaway: This probably won’t backfire on the Republicans, right?

The Senate GOP has just a few years until they deeply, deeply regret destroying the Supreme Court filibuster.

— John Iadarola (@johniadarola) April 6, 2017

Oops in Advertising

What Happened: You guys, you like being politically aware? You like Pepsi? What if we mix those two flavors together? Oh, it’s a disaster? Oh, OK then. Where It Blew Up: Twitter, media reports What Really Happened: It was, quite simply, the advertisement that no one could quite believe was real. Last week, Pepsi released an ad featuring Kendall Jenner that showed the reality star/model joining a protest and bringing police and protesters together with the power of Pepsi. To call it problematic would be an understatement. In fact, let’s just let Twitter handle this, shall we?

the new @Pepsi ad evoking imagery of @IeshiaEvans in Baton Rouge is total exploitative brand social activism bs http://pic.twitter.com/YzAFtWEzDO

— Sherry (@slchen_) April 4, 2017

-this is the closest we have ever seen a kardashian be to activism and it's a fake protest in a pepsi ad she was paid millions to appear in

— jack wagner (@GrimmKardashian) April 4, 2017

*kendall jenner hands cop a pepsi*

cop: im not racist anymore

— BRANDON WARDELL (@BRANDONWARDELL) April 4, 2017

"It's not a cola." [taps board] "It's the resistance." … "Mr. Draper, for the last time, you no longer work here."http://bit.ly/2orT42C

— James Poniewozik (@poniewozik) April 4, 2017

"Hold my wig, Keisha. I've got some liberating to do!" "Um, it's Jennifer." http://pic.twitter.com/pgcqsGAQGu

— Tax-free Hands. (@thewayoftheid) April 4, 2017

Nevertheless, she Pepsisted. http://pic.twitter.com/53e6rxLS50

— M egi (@MattNegrin) April 4, 2017

Perhaps unsurprisingly, Pepsi ended up pulling the ad within 48 hours. The Takeaway: The real winner of this whole PR disaster? Coca-Cola, probably.

Next year Coke is going to buy a Super Bowl spot and just play that Pepsi ad.

— Guy Endore-Kaiser (@GuyEndoreKaiser) April 4, 2017

History Lessons

What Happened: Turns out, it might be too soon for the FBI to start saying nice things about someone it once investigated. Who knew? Where It Blew Up: Twitter, media reports What Really Happened: Last week marked the anniversary of the assassination of Martin Luther King Jr., an occasion honored by an unexpected source:

Today, on the anniversary of his assassination, the FBI honors the life, work, & commitment of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. to justice. http://pic.twitter.com/WZInYKQx2g

— FBI (@FBI) April 4, 2017

Yes, that’s definitely an FBI tweet celebrating man the agency complicated history with. Twitter?

@FBI alright then http://pic.twitter.com/0FCZfoOy4z

— Jordan Uhl (@JordanUhl) April 4, 2017

Memories. @FBI http://pic.twitter.com/yOHDnL3azu

— Ben Wizner (@benwizner) April 4, 2017

There are too many ironies to count here. http://bit.ly/2nVQ3nn

— Eli Lake (@EliLake) April 4, 2017

@FBI y'all terrorized the man most of his adult life, all because he was trying to make a difference for his people. Shove your remembrance.

— cx (@cxcope) April 4, 2017

@FBI I think every MLK celebration tweet should end with "And we're really sorry."

— Erick Fernandez (@ErickFernandez) April 4, 2017

The Takeaway: This seems to sum the whole thing up, really.

The FBI gave MLK a shout out today.. http://pic.twitter.com/ztIEQPpl8L

— Sadpagne Papi (@jonesdmvv) April 4, 2017

The Corrections Dept.

What Happened: The New York Times accidentally published some fake news last week. The paper then issued a quick (and embarrassing) apology. Where It Blew Up: Twitter, media reports What Really Happened: Everyone loves a good newspaper correction, and this one was better than most.

A correction today from @NYTimes. http://bit.ly/2nVRZMl http://pic.twitter.com/IfZ4oFijgG

— Harrison Golden (@harrisongolden) April 5, 2017

And even that correction was corrected.

@markberman The first draft of the correction actually read: "Ivanka is his daughter."

— Ayla Mayer (@santapauli1980) April 5, 2017

Yes, the original version apparently forgot that Trump actually has two daughters.

HIS OTHER DAUGHTER IS TIFFANY. #SayHerName http://bit.ly/2nVYoXX

— Gary Legum (@GaryLegum) April 5, 2017

The big question, though, was how the mistake had managed to not only be made by the writer, but also get past editors. There was one dominant theory.

"Editing error" = "Freudian slip" http://bit.ly/2orT5nc

— Robert Hamer (@rsolonhamer) April 5, 2017

Is this a Freudian Slip? Or an Electra Complex? Or an Oedipus Complex? http://bit.ly/2nVCHYd

— Jeet Heer (@HeerJeet) April 5, 2017

The internet, naturally, saw the humor in the gaffe.

This article is horrifying but the correction at the bottom regarding Ivanka is fucking hilarious. http://bit.ly/2orDDHw

— Surviving the End (@EndTimeSurvivor) April 5, 2017

i've been on the phone all day, did anything else good happen http://bit.ly/2nVCoMW

— cat ferguson (@biocuriosity) April 5, 2017

The Takeaway: This guy gets it.

Peak 2017. http://bit.ly/2orL6pY

— Kevin Fallon (@kpfallon) April 5, 2017

Read more: http://bit.ly/2nVMPjC

from While You Were Offline: Free Nuggs. Pls RT