#orstalking

[reloveoxley]

Tap-a Tap-a Tap-a #analoguevibes #antique #typewriter #corona #greatforransomletters #orstalking #dontforgetstalking #vintage #funkyfinds #nospellcheck #retro #officedecor #awesomeness #reloveoxley #brisbanesbiggestrange #afterpaynowavailable #oxleybestbrew #open7days #comesayhi (at Relove Oxley) https://www.instagram.com/p/B17LkuWAckO/?igshid=1l5wqigzyvjwq

[1-1-s1ay-2-2]

Men keep coming along and wanting me to fall in love with them via the virtual world or be really good close friends or string me along for months gathering my details like cool finds at a flea market with vague emotional connection and expression of their feelings. Despite being married, this still happens. I have been tempted because I’ve not been happily married...but maybe the temptation is why I’ve not been happily married. Maybe by me allowing the temptation of finding true love via the virtual world to entice me, I’ve greatly contributed to the demise of my marriage. Maybe settling for less than what I thought true love was supposed to be is okay. Maybe it’s okay to settle for an alternate version of “true love”. Maybe my idea of true love and my husband’s idea of true love are different and maybe I need to make an allowance for that. Maybe my ideal version is expecting too much and no one will ever amount up. I mean, yeah you should expect not to be hit. You should expect not to be cheated on. But maybe the other things I expected is what lead him to doing those things. I’m not making excuses for his behavior, but I’m saying maybe both of our bad behaviors led to worse behaviors. No matter how I’ve been tempted by virtual love, the thing is, I prefer real...and that’s why I end up trying to work on my marriage...because at least...it’s real. There’s no excuse for someone cheating on you or physically hurting you and it’s entirely okay not to stay with someone like that, but if you do find yourself staying for whatever reasons, it’s not your job to make sure everyone understands (like I’m trying to do right now) My marriage has actually been a nightmare come true. It’s been ranked up there in the top five worst experiences of my life. It’s toxic and seemingly hopeless and some days completely aggravatingly wretched...but that is what the vows warn us about. What did you think bad, sick, poor times were gonna be like? No marriage is gonna be rich, healthy, and good 100% of the time — or else they wouldn’t have written in that negative nelly stuff and made it a legally binding agreement connecting two human beings. It’s like we don’t believe that part of the vows could be true. Like our love is so special, that would never happen to us...but...it does. The most special kinda love between two people can grow corrupted, become toxic, seem lost. Love has to be nurtured and grown and kept thriving like anything else.

Especially love.

#becauseloveisreal

#lovedoesnthide

#orstalk

#orspy

#lovedoesntvirtuallytormentsomeone

#for...YEARS

#gone-by

#loveishonestandtrue

#lovedoesntlie

#lovedoesntuseyourgood

#totrickyourheartandmind

#loveiskind

#lovegivestime