#orlais sucks

[musicfeedsmysoul12]

Okay so: Izuku as Inquisitor.

We keep everything from the last post. Izuku is actually the child of Solas and fake Mythal, the gods are actually not the Evanuris who pretend to be, Solas worshiped as Fen’Harel is a god now as unlike the fakes he is the only one. Izuku and his friends leave their world because society has just kept going and nothing changed.

But this time they get to Thedas before the explosion, and Izuku makes it his mission to bug his father about not going through with it. He ignores it, and argues back. It ends up coming to be Izuku runs to try and stop the Temple from blowing up but can't.

No instead he's now the Herald of Andraste and like… Izuku has ALREADY pulled together a country and fought in a war. Sure he came to Thedas knowing he might need to kill his birth father, but for the LOVE of THE GODS, are you joking?

His friends laugh at him and he is Problem Child Forever.

Now he's got to run this stupid organization.

He hates it so much.

Izuku does his best though. He tries to be a fair person while also shoving his father’s face into the changes of the world.

I do think he'd be slower to confess the truth of him being from another world here. He would eventually do so because he has to. (he would not continue to lie to those who have bled for him).

Solas instantly runs with the narrative he was trying to find his son since he went missing, and Izuku just is angry he's not doing anything but he won't rat out his dad. Not unless he has to.

I think there would be a lot of confusion and a lot of eye opening but everyone accepts it. They even accept Nezu who is thrilled he gets to walk around like normal without the cloak. They figure out someway to make it acceptable to others (AKA Cole messes with their minds to make them accept it).

Izuku would just be the kindest Herald/Inquisitor to those in need while also RIPPING apart Orlais and Ferelden and everything he can.

“This is BULLSHIT,” he says at the Winter Ball before he goes off and blackmails Celene and Gaspard while handing over everything he has to Briala so she can rule through them.

“I fucking HATE this,” he grumbles when he's dealing with Nobles. Ugh.

(Aizawa hates dealing with Fereldens and their dogs)

I'm also gonna talk about the others to:

Yaomomo is a fucking Goddess who helps Josie. I also am saying she ends up with Dagna and when Sera joins in (encouraged by Ochako) chaos reigns. When the secrets are out, Dagna and Harrit basically beg for all the help. Sadly she can't make the more fantastical elements but steel? Wood? She can. Silks to.

(she takes over the entire winter ball cause those are ugly as hell uniforms)

Aizawa works as an advisor and helps spread rumours when he can. He'll slip out and lurk in corners being a ‘drunk’ while picking up info. Also he's trans and upon learning Krem is goes: same.

They then proceed to spread rumours Solas and Aizawa are Eri’s parents for the hilarity.

But yeah Aizawa is his grumpy self.

Midnight I am 100% pairing with Blackwall and she susses out the truth early. Convinces him to confess but work to rebuild. He regrets what he's done it's obvious. And frankly, look at the Templars and their abuses. Yes what he did is horrific but he does better training people to fight back and defending the weak. She and Blackwall now run a minor training boot camp for the ambush fighters.

Nezu is Nezu and happily plots with Leliana who delights in her new friend. Perhaps he is the one to help her back into the light to.

Hitoshi works with Josie as an assistant and she finds he is just as good as her at reading people. I already mentioned how she gets him losing her voice differently then the others. Hitoshi isn't just his Quirk and his ability to speak and manipulate are things she gets. It's very adorable.

Tenya and Shouto work as inner circle folks and help Izuku. They also run around as his messengers and as intimidation because Izuku is still damn short and knows it's cause he's an elf.

Ochako? Ochako is inner circle and causing CHAOS as much as she can. Her quirk is so good with bombs and weapons and getting into position on a roof. She is the ‘DEATH FROM ABOVE’ Queen. Sera loves her so much.

Eri of course is being cute but she's also being portrayed as Izuku’s sister which gets attention. Luckily she has Cole around who will stab. She also works with the doctors and when her secret comes out uses her powers. Carefully, oh so carefully with Cole right by her side. Just in case.

I think romances would stay the same. Bull/Aizawa, Tenya/Shouto, Izuku/Dorian, Ochako/Sera and all that to. It's just like… as Inquisitor Izuku is more involved and more willing to dig down roots. He doesn't get a choice. It's not just murder your dad and fuck off. No it's serious. He has to build firm bonds with these people.

Here he sits down and listens to Vivienne more, tries to understand Cassandra’s faith. He sits with Cullen and they work through the bullshit he has internalized (I run with an AU Cullen in my head because otherwise I could not get through the game and my head version actually admits his faults). He talks with Sera and learns of Pride Cookies. He sits with Bull who fears madness (but will never regret saving his men). He holds Blackwall’s hands and say he is a good man. He stands by Dorian, facing down a monster who hid behind kindness. He helps Cole learn who he is. He sits with Varric as he tells stories and tells his own, eventually being hugged by a man who thought he'd lose his friend. (Izuku wouldn't let it happen. No, not when Iida can run faster then anyone else, can cause a distraction so that they all get free. No never. Hawke and Alistair live, both of them)

Izuku is himself and shines so brightly. And the others want to shine to. Vivienne still believes in the circles but now thinks of a school system like the ones from their world. Cassandra believes but also knows that the ashes of corruption can linger so it is best to be careful. Cullen begins making amends more and more (a letter sent to a mage who makes her partner read it, the Antivan elf carefully speaking the apology from within, the mages harmed in Kirkwall, Templars so scared of him dropping to their knees in shock). Sera who learns to bake. Bull who figures out he is not a monster. Dorian, who does not speak well of slavery but speaks against it, plotting to tear down Tevinter with his bare hands. Cole who stays both human and spirit and is all the better. Varric who laughs and smiles like he once had.

And what of Izuku’s friends?

Tenya and Shouto who lost everything (Tensei choking on his own blood after refusing to give up valuable intel. Fuyumi blowing herself up with Dabi to beat him. Natsuo dying trying to protect Rei who died to. Endeavour still around with NOTHING changing) being happy again. Laughing and getting married with everyone they love there.

Ochako who lost an arm and refused to back down, who lost Tsu and mourns her so badly. Who nearly was killed because her naivety over Toga’s manipulation almost cost her life.

Hitoshi who lost his voice and only got pity, no help. Now he's regained it in a way, working with his wife who loves him dearly to be able to be the diplomat he was born to be. (and who makes it stylish to learn sign language)

Momo who is burned and hurt. Whose girlfriend left because they could not keep up, she's to much. Who was taught to keep her head down. She's creating things again. Laughing and smiling. Is kissing someone oh so sweet who has the same mind.

Midnight who lost her sex appeal and caused people to toss her aside. Acting like she's not human anymore. She's now happy with a man who ADORES her and all she is. She's smiling again.

Nezu who has tried over and over again to change the world. He now has in his paws the chance to help and make a difference. Who joins the Chantry when Leliana is Divine and helps shake things up. He's happy.

Aizawa who lost his husband and mourned so deeply. Who felt useless and broken. He has a purpose. He's working to help others, has a man who helps with aches and pains, who loves and accepts him.

Eri who was a lab rat and who had to learn to smile. Her smiles are bigger and wider here, her laugh echoing in her joy.

Izuku did this. He brought about change and happiness. He feels good.

He still hates Orlais.

@dark-elf-writes the second option if you want!

[ghost-bard]

Finally at the landsmeet, hope i can finally find out what makes ppl defend Loghain as a character, beyond what ive seen in cutscenes and Anora talking about him.

He’s interesting, i sort of get why he’s compelling story wise. But. Why do people defend him. I am curious.

Apologies if im just bringing up old fandom talking points im playing the game for the first time 🙏

[hergnomieness]

https://www.redbubble.com/i/t-shirt/Visit-Fereldan-by-HerGnomieness/158256170.WFLAH

quote courtesy of @quillonalark

[niofo]

thinking from a doylist perspective at the ferelden succession crisis, i think everything is leading towards collapsing all the worldstates soon enough. currently we have 5 different possibilities for ferelden rulers: alistair and anora either alone, together or with cousland, out of those 2 of them are grey wardens and one is rumored to be infertile, and there's no info about any of them having a kid by dai. except for kieran but like, apart from morrigan not wanting him involved, he might not even exist or be born to a warden with no bearing on ferelden politics. and while the issue of him being the ogb or not don't seem to matter anymore, there's too many possibilities to involve him with ferelden monarchy canonically.

so, my assumption are as follow:

1. there can be another theirin sibling or cousin showing up, but we already played this scenario with alistair, it would be lazy writing to try it again.

2. whoever is on the throne just adopting a child and teaching them how to rule. that way we can have a possible next ruler with a consistent looks and backstory no matter how dao ended. there would prob be slight differences based on who their adoptive parent is, but still way more consistent.

3. there being another invasion or coup ending up with an entirely new line on the throne. which would be sad ending to whoever was ruling ferelden for the last 20 or so years, but would create an entirely new and concise setup.

either way i think the most sense would be to let theirin bloodline go. there's too much different things that could go with it, and while there are ways of preserving it in some worldstates, it would be way more difficult in others. and with how big deal the bloodline is (according to the gaider comics - all the connections to dragons) i think we need to let it go as a whole.

possibly one option i can see is someone recreating what calenhad did, and mixing their blood with a great dragon - now that dragons are coming back and it would possibly mean also great dragons. so we could end up with a new family of op ferelden reavers, making the question if theirins survive or not less pressing.

[densewentz]

The finishing acts of Dragon Age: The Veilguard got me just

[zevranunderstander]

dragon age is a series that annoying people who like to discuss politics and character dynamics in sociopolitical climates like to play and it's developed by a studio that is entirely unaware of that

[gayrui]

Doing anything besides wicked eyes and wicked hearts cause I don’t wanna do it 👍

[fiercestpurpose]

So on an earlier playthrough I got the scene where you hang out with the Bull's Chargers, and we were talking about Krem's gender and Iron Bull was basically like, "Yeah it's totally normal to trans your gender in the Qun" and I was like "alright yeah maybe the Qun have some good aspects"

BUT THEN on this playthrough I got the Cassandra/Iron Bull banter where Iron Bull explains that women can't be warriors and so any woman who wants to be a warrior must become a man, so it's not so much trans rights as it is that gender roles in the Qun are so strict that anyone who deviates from their expected role gets sorted into another strict role instead. So, like, fuck the Qun.

[evanhereonearth]

Solas, outnumbered seven to one, overpowered by a lot more than that, betrayed by his best friend Mythal who bound him to her service and coerced him into leaving the Fade and coerced him into making a weapon that would make an entire people tranquil to stop the war she started AND ignored him when he said it would create *checks notes* a blight and made him do it anyway. Solas, facing seven blighted wannabe gods who turned on his best abusive friend Mythal when she finally stood up to them after CENTURIES of him begging her to do just that and starting a rebellion to free all their multitudes of slaves: *creates the veil, imprisons the blight and the Evanuris, and preserves all life in Thedas* World: FUCK THE DREAD WOLF, GOD OF TREACHERY AND LIES *worships the Evanuris and their dragon thralls*

Solas: zzzzzzzzzz (knocked out cold from saving the world for LITERALLY SEVERAL MILLENNIA MORE)

Tevinter: *razes what's left of Elvhenan, steals all their magic, enslaves the elven people for entire length of Solas's world-saving-induced coma*

Also Tevinter: *breaks into the fucking black city and brings out the blight*

Also also Tevinter: *uses so much blood magic that the veil ends up in tatters*

The Blight: >:)

World: fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck *throws everything they can at the blight, including--*checks notes again*--the blight

Orlais: you know what sucks? elves. let's kill them all

Ferelden: good shout, mes amis

Orlais: you know what also sucks? mages. put them in prisons.

Ferelden: you're full of good ideas when you're not invading us

Free Marches: MAGE PRISON, YOU SAY?

Orlais: add templars who can decide to murder them or make them tranquil on a whim at any moment

Ferelden and Free Marches: *frantically taking notes*

Rivain and Nevarra: we're just going to be...over here...

Blights 1-5: i've got a great idea i've got a great idea

Blights 1-5 after a while: my great idea didn't work :(

Archdemons 1-5: ....... :(

Evanuris 1-5: ......... :(

Solas, waking up in 9:40ish Dragon: what the...WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCKING FUCK. they can just KILL MAGE CHILDREN? AND PURGE ALIENAGES? AND ALMOST EVERY ELF IN TEVINTER IS A SLAVE? *absolutely rabid, seeks out the Dalish, as remnants of his people*

The Dalish, at Solas: *ARROWS*

Solas: ......fuck this shit, fuck all of this shit, fuck these tyrants in particular, fuck this fucking...UGH

The veil, after all this: (o.O:0oO.)

The remaining blighted Evanuris and the 99% of blight that did not escape: :)

Solas: well, that is a problem, going to need to address that ASAP, but turns out millennia of coma doesn't leave a spirit spry

Corypheus, busting out of warden jail: I AM FREE

Solas: hm, could kill that guy letting him unlock my orb, since he broke into my blight prison in the first place and defo deserves dying

Corypheus: veil needs a certain je ne sais quoi, a...bigger hole. i will make one.

Wardens: yes, good plan, blighted magister man. we are in control of the blight inside us and also heroes *in death, sacrifice = divine justinia's ritual sacrifice under thrall*

The veil:

O

Corypheus: >:( but like...not dead

Solas: well, i did not see that coming

Lavellan: *in chains, threatened with execution*

humans: KNIFE EAR >:(

Lavellan: *hole in the sky, hole in her memories, hole in her fucking hand* fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck, wait, this hole in my hand helps close holes in the SKY

Solas: *.* It seems you hold the key to our salvation

Lavellan: i'm sorry what

humans: HERALD OF ANDRASTE!!!!!!!! *falls to knees*

Lavellan: I'M SORRY WHAT

Chantry: *choking in the corner*

Cassandra: time for you to decide the fate of the world

Lavellan: I'M. SORRY. WHAT???????? you know what? fine. *stops alexius from blood magicking his way through redcliffe and time itself, gets punted into a hellscape of nightmares and makes it back with the help of a rebel tevinter mage* the mages i rescued from becoming probable slaves to tevinter are our allies and dorian is my new best friend for being the only reason i made it back alive and the whole world didn't die *dabs*

Cassandra: >:(

Mother Giselle: >:(

Lavellan: ffs

Corypheus: *dragon temper tantrum*

Lavellan: *somehow escapes both dragon and Corypheus, trudges through blizzard, collapses*

Mother Giselle: *.* I FEEL A SONG COMING ON

Literally everyone but Solas: *falls to their knees*

Solas: a word?

Lavellan: OH THANK HEAVENS

Solas: these people are wack and aren't going to like that Corypheus is using elven magic *cough*, they're a hairsbreadth from executing us at all moments lol, btw here's a castle, you know, for you cos i highkey see myself in you and god i'm so fucking lonely

Lavellan: me too but wait, what the fuck is happening. you know what? fuck it. solas, what if we kissed,,, in the fade

Solas: what IF we kissed,,, in the fade *fade tongue*

Solas: ...you continue to surprise me. you show a wisdom i have not seen...since my deepest journeys into the fade!

Lavellan: don't you dare walk away from me now

Solas: okay vhenan i stay

Vivienne: this is a DEMON and NOT A PET

Lavellan: *blinks* right, no, this spirit kid who is the literal only reason we escaped Haven alive is my son now. if he hadn't read roderick's mind we'd all be avalanched or blighted dragoned, so SUCK IT UP

Vivienne: >:(

Cassandra: >:(

Sera: >:(

Bull: >:(

Varric: >:(

Solas: :D

Wardens: btw we're doing blood magic and raising an army of demons. not really our fault but also not NOT our fault? idk, blight in the blood, morally grey area. get it? grey...war--never mind, we'll be at adamant xoxo

Cullen: lotsa soldiers gonna die

Lavellan: fuck, is there another choice?

Advisors: ...no

Cory's dragon: *burninating the adamant, burninating the wardens, burninating all the people and this crumbling ROCKY BRIIIIIIDGE! CRUMBLING ROCKY BRIDGEEEEE*

Lavellan, flying through the air hundreds of feet towards the ground: fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck *opens a rift into the fade*

Everyone but Solas: FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK WE'RE IN THE FADE

Solas: we're in the FADE!!!!!

Lavellan, after escaping the nightmare's lair: glad half the team is pissed at me, what's next, an imperial ball? how hard can that be?

Orlesians: they invited an ELF SAVAGE >:(

Lavellan: you know what, fuck this and fuck Celene for genociding the entire Halamshiral alienage and fuck you, Gaspard, you can be Briala's little French Orlesian bulldog

Half the Inquisition: *shocked pikachu*

Morrigan: allow me to shemsplain all of elven history to everyone, including Solas, yourself, and all the ancient elves in this temple

Lavellan: you know what? okay. *rubs at Mythal's vallaslin, makes eyes real big* who is this "Mythal"

Solas: *choking in the corner*

Cassandra, muttering: i do not want to do a ritual to a false god

Morrigan: lemme have the well, lemme have it, i deserve it more than you

Lavellan: ...abso-fucking-lutely not *drinks from the well out of pure spite*

Solas: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE, VHENAN

Lavellan: idk vhenan, this world sucks and i wanna make it better and i love you

Solas: ...you are everything and you inspire me, hurry, i need to tell you i'm the dread wolf but am going to break up with you and remove your slave markings instead and btw they're basically a drawing of me in my true form and honestly, this whole thing is real fucked up and you're the only real person in my entire life who sees me

Lavellan: wait what

Solas: i'm bad and don't deserve you and had to harden my heart to save the world before and everyone hated me for it so i'm projecting when i say you must harden your heart to a cutting edge to kill Corypheus, I'll explain after we kill him

Lavellan: ...oh yeah guess we should do that but I gotta go meet Mythal first

Solas: wait what

Mythal: *is Morrigan's mum, is only mostly dead, also 100% cool with overriding her servants' will entirely for shits and giggles, 0/10 do not trust* i'll help you if you fight this dragon lol

Morrigan: *choking in the corner*

Corypheus: *has a mahoosive temper tantrum when Mythal's pet dragon kills his pet dragon, dies*

Solas: ;-; ilu, inky, what we had was real but i'm afraid to do to you what Mythal did to me. I MUST AWAY

Lavellan: ....

World: HERALD OF ANDRASTE!!!!!!!!!!!!*

*some restrictions may apply, like in a couple years we're going to forget everything you did and be real mad at you

Solas, somewhere: been there, vhenan

World, two years later: :D we're here to hate you, right on schedule

Qunari: you are in need of the gentle path. therefore, we are coming to kill you all

Solas: like hell you will. but come to think of it, this is a good excuse to see vhenan again

Lavellan's arm: TIME TO DIE

Solas: defo another good excuse to see vhenan again. probs should study that arm anyway

Lavellan, after several Qunari too many: CAN ANYTHING IN THIS FUCKING WORLD STAY FIXED

Inquisition, including Divine Victoria: *shocked pikachu*

Lavellan: i'm going back through the fucking looking glass to talk to some ancient elven sentinels with Mythal's magic whisper well, they're the only fucking thing that makes sense here

Qunari: *destroying everything in sight but getting hounded by the dread wolf at every step*

Lavellan, whose arm is trying to kill her but is following Qunari through her own people's magic mirror world: ...i think i'm in love with the dread wolf

Companions: pfffffft

Cole: :D YES, YOU ARE AND HE LOVES YOU TOO

Lavellan: thank god i have you, cole, my spirit son

Solas, in a statuary garden of petrified Qunari: i suspect you have questions

Lavellan: honestly, fen'harel, not really

Solas: *shocked pikachu* well done

Lavellan: i'm real tired and you could have just trusted me back in Crestwood.

Solas: this world is broken, i must tear down the veil

Lavellan: yep, i'm one "knife ear" away from putting a knife in the next human's ear who says it tbh, i'd rather live in the fade with you and my spirit son, can i help you pls vhenan

Solas: ...no

Lavellan: wtf

Solas, internally panicking because he followed Mythal wherever she went and she dragged him to literal hell and trauma and now his one true love is offering to follow him while he probably makes things worse again: absolutely not, no, but i love you forever

Lavellan's arm: >:(

Solas: ...right, i gotta take that

Lavellan: wait what

Solas: i will never forget you *trundles through mirror with severed arm*

Lavellan: oh fuck my entire life, you know what, Ferelden and Orlais? Inquisition is no more, i'm going on sabbatical to Stone Bear Hold where at least people are not insane and Storvacker loves me, and then i'm going home to the castle vhenan gave me. don't call me. byeeee

ten years later

Varric: gonna go stop Solas, who invented the veil and is From Fade, from doing things i don't understand, wish me luck, inky

Lavellan: WAIT ONE GODDAMNED SECOND I'M COMING WITH YOU

Varric: no <3 i found a complete rando who will fuck everything up

Rook: hey, what if i drop a statue on this nuclear arsenal protecting the biggest biological weapon of mass destruction known to all of thedas? that'll help

Neve, a literal mage who should know even small rituals can blow up and kill you: probs not a good idea but Varric, a dwarf who knows nothing about magic or the veil or the Fade whatsoever says this ritual must be stopped At All Costs By Any Means Necessary so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Varric: Solas I will shoot you with Bianca

Solas: ffs stop *breaks Bianca*

Varric: can you promise me your way is better

Solas: i know way better than to make promises like that, have you seen this world???

Varric: GOTCHA, YOU LYING LIAR WHO LIES

Rook: TIIIIIIIIIIIIIMBERRRRRRR

Varric: defo going to attack the guy whose millennia of existence has been centred on this massive magical problem i do not even comprehend a little after waiting ten years to ask a single question about it when he'd already got going *tries to stab Solas*

Solas, feeling everything he's spent all of world history protecting the world from breaking out of jail: turns the dagger and stabs Varric instead

Elgar'nan: >:)

Ghilan'nain: >:)

Solas: oh for fucking FUCK'S SA--*exit, stage Fade Jail*

Blight: >:)

Rook: oops

Neve and Harding: omg this could not possibly be our fault at all, not even a little. it's Solas's fault, the lying liar who lies

Lavellan: i will not murder this stupid child, i will not murder this stupid child, i will not murder this stupid child

Morrigan: we have to help the stupid child

Lavellan: we have to help the stupid child

Morrigan and Lavellan: *look at each other*

Lavellan: when this is over, i stg--

Morrigan, who has millennia of memories of Mythal abusing Solas and decades of Flemythal abusing her: yeah no i will throw you a going away party and take care of Dorian for you and help you get your boyfriend back and no way will i fight him, this is actually ridiculous

Ferelden, Orlais, and the Free Marches, all of whom turned on Lavellan ten years ago: hELP help HELP there's BLIIIIIGHT

Lavellan to Leliana: you owe me a hundred gold

Leliana: *hands over a solid gold nug*

Ferelden: X_X

Orlais: X_X

Free Marches: X_X

Lavellan: *grits teeth* i better go meet with rook

Rook: andaran atish'an, honoured inquisitor

Lavellan: yo. sure would be nice to be meeting without our gods, you know, destroying absolutely everything i've spent a quarter of my life protecting and rebuilding after the last apocalypse but here we are i guess

Morrigan: *smirks at shade*

Northern Thedas: ROOK IS THE BEST

Southern Thedas: is rook tho

Ghilan'nain: muahahaha i have so many drago---nooo you killed my dragons and i am BLEEDING LIKE A MORTAL PIECE OF MORTAL SCUM

Elgar'nan: my dragon used to be bigger :(

Ghilan'nain: your dragon's fine

Elgar'nan: Ghilly, make it bigger again

Ghilan'nain: can't, too sad. blood. :(

Southern Thedas: *throwing nugs at blight* hELP

Lavellan, with half of Southern Thedas crammed into skyhold: thanks for the castle, vhenan, we'd all literally be dead without it, again

Morrigan: erm, Inky? seems everyone's telling Rook Solas is just a big monster lying liar who lies and blaming him for everything

Lavellan: that's what people do, blame Solas. had a bad day? blame Solas. Mythal wants to sever the titans' dreams? Blame Solas. Rashvine nettle sting? Blame Solas. Bring the veil 5/7 or so of the way down themselves after releasing the blight? Blame Solas. Rook let the gods out? Blame Solas

Morrigan: Inky.

Lavellan: you want me to go pour out my heart to the person who imprisoned vhenan and let out Ghilan'nain, Mother of Tentacles, and Elgar'nan "My Dragon is Bigger than Your Dragon" First and Worst of the Evanuris, don't you

Morrigan: yee

Lavellan: FINE but you better spill every ounce of tea you've got on the stupid child before i go because i need to at least make rook squirm a LITTLE

Morrigan: i thought you'd never ask

Elgar'nan: you won't make my dragon bigger??? fine i'll move the moon instead

Northern Thedas: i'm sorry what

Anyone at sea anywhere on the planet: I'M SORRY WHAT

Ghilan'nain: *throws a temper tantrum and dies*

Elgar'nan: >:(

Solas: fuck this shit, i'm getting out of Fade Jail

Rook: :(

Minrathous: fuck fuck fuck FUCK fuck fuck fuck FUCK FUCK FUCK

Solas: hello, people who enslaved my people for millennia, i am here to save the day i guess

Minrathous, slapping blight tentacles out of their faces: ...honestly thank you

Solas: wait what

Rook: I ESCAPE FADE JAIL SOLAS YOU BASTARD LYING LIAR WHO LIES

Lavellan: i will not murder the stupid child, i will not murder the stupid child, i will not murder the stupid child

Solas: you know what, fair play, here's the dagger, there's elgar'nan, ima bite his dragon, you go have a great time. have fun storming the blight tentacle

Venatori, poster children for the Leopards Who Eat People's Faces Party: nooo the leopards keep eating our faces

Minrathous: wow who could have possibly predicted that

Everyone who has ever met a Venatori: yes, yes, very sad

Elgar'nan, eating every face in the magesterium and effectively cleansing Tevinter of the worst of its monsters in one fell swoop: ah, rook, you can't kill me, i have the biggest dragon ever to dragon

Dread Wolf: honestly he's kinda not wrong, this dragon is a bastard and i am like a fifth of its size and getting p tired, ngl

Rook's Blighted Companion: welp gonnae put this trauma to use for the greater good. go go gadget blight tentacles, release the Dread Pupper

Elgar'nan: *shocked pikachu*

Dread Wolf: *chomp*

Elgar'nan: *throws a temper tantrum and dies*

Solas: oh ffs finally

Rook: not so fast

Solas: oh ffs here we fucking go

Rook: i don't actually want to fight you

Solas: wait, what

Rook: i think this is all my fault but everyone keeps telling me i'm the hero and that's fucked up. and your vhenan, she's nice to me, no one really else is, i'm just everybody's apocalypse therapist, and i even kinda like you tbh, my whole team basically does fun stuff without me and doesn't even invite me to book club and emmrich's the only one who asks me about my feelings instead of just asking me to do stuff for them, and anyway, i'm going to trust the inquisitor here because i'm honestly starved for connection and she thinks you're worth saving so can we talk i don't wanna fight

Solas: what

Lavellan, out of sight, reliving the litany of "i will not murder this stupid child": oh haha awkward

Solas: look,,, i've been bound to the service of an ancient elvhen god for millennia and everything i do, whether i know it or not, is for her, so i can't do what you want and this sucks

Lavellan: even if i'm here, walking the din'an shiral with you?

Solas: ...vhenan

Lavellan: ;_;

Solas: ;_; ...I cannot

Morrigan: yo dread wolf, my mum's a piece of work and i have all her memories and everything she did to you was fuuuuuuuuucked up, anyway, over to her, honestly not pissed you killed that part of her btw, she reeeeally fucked you up, but rook somehow managed to talk her out of her essence, so that's impressive

Solas: what

Mythal: yeah i kinda tore you out of your home and twisted you from your purpose and made you do murder and worse for me for millennia and said i wanted your wisdom and then never ever listened to you ever and just dragged you through every atrocity i created and perpetuated

Solas: it hurts and i guess you're going to kill me now so here's the dagger ;_;

Mythal: it's still mostly your fault but i was there too i guess, anyway, i release you from my service, which i could have done at any point in the past several millennia but instead I tortured you endlessly, lol god of retribution, that's me. k bye

Solas: what the fucking fuck

Lavellan: right there with you, like literally forever, our love is a miracle and the only thing i can even cope with

Solas: yeah honestly fuck this shit, i'm out, i will put myself in fade jail

Lavellan: you are not going by yourself i stg take me with you i wanna go home

Solas: ...home is a literal prison now

Lavellan: sealed away from all this shit? from getting blamed for everything we do no matter how much we sacrifice? if it's you and me there together, i don't care if it's a grey box full of darkspawn

Solas: there's no darkspa--

Lavellan: ffs i said i want to go, you don't have to sell me on it. you're the only person in this world who Gets It. we go on together, forever.

Solas: *.* my wife

Lavellan: *.* my wolf

Northern Thedas: and rook saved the world from the dread wolf, who was a lying liar who lies

Southern Thedas: *busy being dead and blighted*

Lavellan: yeah, fuck this shit, we're out

You can now download this shitpost in beautifully formatted PDF, courtesy of @amburuthings. Thank u for your service *salutes*

You all have had me howling with the tags on reblogs, thank you, I am absolutely dying in deadline hell and needed that

[acepalindrome]

I love Nevarra. They have a whole mini-city just to store their dead, where the aesthetic is to cover everything in skeleton motifs and then say ‘hm, not enough bones.’ Need to make a magic bridge? It’s bones, for absolutely no reason other than the vibes. They’ve got mummification down to an art form. Their best known king reportedly lived to be 127, sparred with his grandson on the day of his death, kicked his grandson’s ass, then went to take a nap and died. And you know they mummified him and gave him the fanciest room in the whole Necropolis, as you do.

They historically go ham about dragons, to the point they have winter balls to celebrate dragon hunts and would display dragon parts at the party (they used to use real dragon bits, but rotting dragon smells awful, so now they do replicas of dragon heads and hearts and stuff.) They have fast paced regional dances inspired by how fucking cool dragons are.

They’ve got the biggest and most important mage school that runs the whole dang Circle of Magi (suck it, Orlais.) They have a whole annual event where people just get together to argue philosophy and drink tea. They’re big on historical reenactments. They like ice skating. They’re a bunch of foodies who thinks aesthetics are as important as taste. They invented flatbread (possibly their most important historical contribution.) They love beetles and consider them good luck, and sometimes keep them as pets.

I just think it’s neat!!

[saanphoenix]

Solas in Inquisition: "Man. I miss court intrigue--the power, the danger, the sex. Ancient Orlais sucked ass, though. The STENCH. Humans had no concept of hygiene back then, I suppose. ...But now it's alright! They've got frilly cakes. Love those. Very decadent, y'know?”

DA Fandom, somehow, about Solas getting a fancy new outfit in Veilguard: "Um, excuse me, he would not wear that."

Me: "...The guy who was having the time of his life in the court of Orlais because it reminded him of the courts of the Evanuris, of which he partook in as second-in-command to Mythal, wife of Elgar'nan? The guy who says they will have to launder their clothes, or burn them, when going to the Fallow Mire. Because it stinks and is dirty and is a bog. The man who fled memories of ancient Orlais...because of the stench. ...That guy? Would not? Wear the best looking leathers and armor with his wolf shit sewn into the back of it?? I... Are you sure about that?"

[sewermageboy]

Honestly for ~ 90% of the choices in the games I don't even care that they won't be relevant in Veilguard, or that they're not using the Keep. It's a different part of the world, it's been 10 years, they didn't want to have to account for too many variables, I get that.

But the choices they did leave out feel SO directly relevant for Veilguard? Like, if Morrigan or Inky drank from the Well is gonna massively affect how they see the Evanuris. Whether Kieran exists also changes Morrigan's whole outlook. Whether Hawke is dead or not would have so much effect on Varric. Whether Divine Victoria abolished the Circles, reinstated them, or is even a mage herself would completely change how the Tevinter Chantry sees the southern one.

Like. This means that apart from the three very lackluster choices we were given, NOTHING else will be brought up again (which would mean that they'd have to sand down Morrigan and Varrics personalities to the point of becoming unrecognizable for example), OR they'd have to go with a default world state.

Again, don't care about most of the choices we could make not being in the game, but there's a justified feeling of anger there. The games lead us to believe some choices are more important than others, that they're essentially THE most important choices you can make: Doing the dark ritual with Morrigan and deciding who will rule Ferelden in DAO, siding with mages or templars and killing or letting Anders go in DA2, and in DAI it's mage/templar again, who you leave in the Fade, who becomes ruler of Orlais, who becomes Divine, and who drinks from the Well. And NONE of these choices matter. That's the part that sucks.

[aymayzing]

Fate of Southern Thedas Rant

Okay, so

All in all, I enjoyed Veilguard. I have some gripes with the game and I can already point to a few things and go "yeah, I don't care what the game says. I am discarding that and filling it in with some headcanons" which happens with literally every Dragon Age game.

BUT

The main thing I dislike is what the game present as happening in the South of Thedas.

I've spent three games saving the South, piece by piece, I cannot accept it falling now, in a game that doesn't care about these parts of Thedas, so much so that it's only really acknowledged in codex entries.

I say - if for some reason the devs want Veilguard to be separted from the other three games, then give us LESS infromation about the South. I don't need letters telling me that the places I've saved once are now lost and therefore it didn't really matter. Tell me that the South is fighting its own battle and leave it there.

In a perfect world, however, here is where we'd have an acknowledgement of previous games.

Mention that mages in their new orgnization have been supporting the fight. Or that the rebuilt Templar order is leading the charge somewhere. If the Inquisitor encouraged Cassandra to rebuild Seekers new and better, mention that they're a great help with fighting demons. Bring up the conclusion of Wicked Eyes and Wicked Hearts. If a truce was forced upon Celene, Briala and Gaspard, say that they're using the chaos to fight for power. Or that Gaspard, as a soldier, has been great at protecting Orlais. What about the decision regarding the Wardens? Say it sucks there aren't Grey Wardens in the South or how fortunate that they're here.

Mention HoF. If they're alive, they're protecting Denerim. If they allied with the Architect, say there's darkspawn infighting in northern Ferelden. That thanks to the Warden being an X, there's a strong bond between Orzammar/the Dalish/mages and Ferelden and they're fighting hand in hand or that the elves of Denerim have been especially well organized and are protecting their city.

And then it can all be in codex, in missives. It's a positive thing then. I get to know that the choices from previous games influenced something in this one and I'm happy to read about it in a codex or a letter from the Inquisitor. But my friend who's playing DA for the first time doesn't care and they can skip those codexes.

I don't think the South has fallen and will never get back up again. I see Rook defeating the gods as a deus ex machina. With them gone, everything else is saved. If Minrathous can be rebuilt after being thouroughly blighted and destroyed during the finale, so can Denerim, Kirkwall, Val Royeux.

But. I just wish it was stated in game and not something I have to come up with on my own based on some ending slides. I wish the devs didn't discard the parts of Thedas I've grown to love over the previous games twice over. I wish they made another decision here

[thekingofwinterblog]

How to fix Halamshiral as a Zone

Inquisition is a flawed game.

I don't think there's anyone who is going to argue otherwise.

The only question is wheter you place it higher or lower than DA2.

One of the things I think it does better than DA2, is that it managed to give every place a soul, an identity of it's own, and at least a distinct, if not always amazing storyline.

The emerald graves doesnt have a very interesting plot, but it has some spectacular side quests, and atmosphere, inculding a haunted mansion, which might be my favorite possession based quest in all of DA because it shows much better than others just how dangerous untrained mages actually are to those around them.

The storm coast tells a story of what was once an important dwarven port, and shows how it fell and was repurposed over time.

The Hinterlands shows the aftereffects of the templar mage war, as well as solas stupid plan to give cory his orb, and the mage rebellion and an actually decent time travel story.

I could go on, but the point is, I usually have at least aomething nice to say about every single region.

All except one.

Halamshiral.

Halamshiral was the single worst part of all of Dragon Age Inquisition for me, and every single time I boot up this game, it's always the last thing i do before the temple of sacred ashes, despite how bizarre the game flows as a result.

And the reason is because i hate everything about it.

I hate it's unique attempt at side quests, i hate the characters involved, i hate the Orlesians who inhabit it, and i hate how this section tries to copy what worked so amazingly well with Orzammar and Denerim during the landsmeet section, and fails every single shot it lines up.

The ONLY good thing i have to say about this, is that it's at the very least relatively short.

So here's today's question. How to fix Halamshiral?

Let's begin with the three main players.

Celene, Gasparde, and Briala.

The big problem with every single option, is that they all suck.

Celene and Gasparde are both fucking awful people without any redeeming qualities, they have no charisma, and there is no prospect of the Empire reforming itself under either of them, the way Orzammar would under Bhelen.

Meanwhile, Briala is much, much better, but the problem is that we know exactly what is going to happen here if you support her.

Maybe today elves will have it better, but tomorrow, when Gasparde is gone, or celene turns on elves again as she always does all the progress will be repealed, and reversed, along with a few purged alienages.

Its an old story that's been told before in Dragon age.

In short, there is no reason at all to care about this overall plot. None whatsoever.

There were so many reasons to care about both Orzammar and Denerim in the same situation, and every single character involved had so much more charisma than either of these would be monarchs.

So let's fix that.

Starting with Celene, take the idea of her wanting to reform the empire, and actually take it to the next level.

Celene is genuine in wanting to reform the empire, and has already taken grand, successful steps to make the entire thing much better for everyone, even elves, giving them and serfs more rights, outlawing the practice of chevaliers having a tradition of killing unarmed city elves to graduate.

But the catch is, while she is genuinely making progress, she is doing so within the confines of the great game.

Celene has nonintention of changing the great game, no plans of wanting to remove this thing that holds Orlais back more than any other, this center stone of their nobility and it's culture.

Meanwhile, Gasparde is a different kind of reformer, one that takes the ideas he had of him claiming to hate the game, and actually doing something with it.

He is far less progressive, has no love for elves, is far more warlike than Celene ever was... But unlike Celene, his ideas of reform isn't going to act within the grand game.

He's going to break it.

Unlike canon gasparde, this gasparde is hated by every single noble family in the entire empire. His only support, and it's a strong one, is the army. The parts of the army that supports Gasparde, and they are a huge part, are loyal to him personally to the hilt.

And he hates them back. He hates the game, he hates the way it cripples the empire, and he wants to change things. Like Celene he plans to break the serfs free of their chains, for the good of the nation and it's power and economy if not for any progressive reasons.

And he'a going to start with Halamshiral.

For this Gasparde isn't merely positioning men to stage a coup... He's planning to kill EVERY SINGLE NOBLE in Halamshiral. Evety man, every woman, every child there.

He's going to reform this empire by wiping out it's cancerous nobility in one fell swoop, and install himself as supreme dictator to see his reforms through, and wiping out the entire Orlesian nobility that might have opposed him, french revolution style.

And thus the Inquisitor has a dilemma.

Unlike Orzammar, where only one side was a reformer, both of these Orlesians are... But you have to choose one.

Do you choose Celene? The more progressive candidate, who wants a more peaceful Orlais going forward? But who is not willing to get ridd of the grand game to do so, thus making it a permanent risk that all her reforms will be undone...

Or will you support Gasparde, and by doing so be complicit in destroying the entire nobility of Orlais, many of whom are not guilty of the shit that Celene and Gasparde here both hate so much? Gasparde is far less likely to create a peaceful Orlais going forward... But he will have obliterated the Grand Game for good and all, a prize that might be worth this Red Wedding style bloodbath.

Meanwhile there is Briala, the elven spy who has enough influence to allow, or prevent Gasparde's plans from going through.

Here there should be another moral dilemma, quite different from the base game.

Do you convince her to aid Gasparde, in exchange for the Elves getting a duchy of their own in Halamshiral? Do you then back her up with Inquisition forces and support, forcing Him to publicly announce her as such, and trust his own, twisted version of honor to actually stick to it going forward(Something he ultimately does), or do you throw her to the Wolves the moment things get rough?

Or alternatively, do you convince her to side with Celene, and bury the hatchet? And if so, on what terms? And similarly, if she actually wants to get something out of this, you actually need to back her up... Something you may, or may not choose to do.

And voila, here you have an actual story of intrigue, massive, lasting political changes as a result of the Herald's actions, and morally grey on grey choices.

Everything that Denerim and Orzammar had in spades.

Now moving on from the plot to the actual place.

Halamshiral has no soul.

It's a french villa on a mountaintop. Whoop de freaking do.

It has no interesting murals, unique art only found there, interesting geography, or anything really to make it stand out.

Compare it to Denerim and Orzammar, and the way they fleshed out the entire city's levels of power and criminal underworlds, and you see the difference.

Denerim is a very realistic, squat, squalid medieval city, with it's buildings built on top of every single bit of available space.

Orzammar is a full on high fantasy dwarf city lit up by a lake of lava.

Halamshiral is a villa presented as a city.

How do you fix that?

There is an artist here on Tumblr who pretty much showcased what Halamshiral could have been, if they had taken the idea of the Dalish(who were the original owners) taking inspiration from native americans(amongst others), and use that to build a truly spectacular city, which has long ago been paved over, but the structure is still there.

Make it a city on the water, like the aztex capital of Tenochtitlan, a marvel of canals and stone.

Make it this Venezia like city, with canals everywhere you look, and the entire city running on water. A marvel of Dalish city building, where they took something as simple as a couple of islands in a lake, and built the most beautiful city in the world.

And rather than just limit you to the palace, instead let you actually explore this city.

Expand the entire event from one night, to a week.

Let the Herald explore the city, meet the players, interact with the nobles, become friends with a few like you could with Ferelden's bans, which in turn makes the possibility of sacrificing them for the greater good hit so much harder.

Let you choose what fancy stuff to wear to the balls and meetings, rather than have this stupid motto of forcing you to wear one, pre determined outfit like this game had for some reason.

Let you discover the places where what little Elven Architecture and art still remains can be found, and talk with the elves who still live here, the descendants after the first elves the Orlesians enslaved.

Make the plotting of Gasparde and the positioning of troops be gradual, not instantly discovered and twarted.

And at the end, if you choose to back Gasparde, you mirror that scene from Dragon Age 2, where the Templars sail across the bay, and you either step aside and witness the bloodbath you just allowed to happen, or you fight them and be recognized by the nobility(most of which are horrible, horrible people) as a hero who just saved the day.

Have the venatori plot be to kill both Gasparde and Celene, rather than their involvement mostly be about handing the player the the easy knife for the knot of which monarch to pick without having to get your hands dirty.

Also have the entire group be gathered for once. Every inner member of the Inquisition just like at Denerim.

Each of whom have their own thoughts on the events.

Who supports who? What is the right thing to do? What is better for the inquisition? Are you staining your honor beyond repair if you back Gasparde? Does the Inquisitor maybe have a breakdown after witnessing what they just allowed to happen and they walk through the gardens or rooms filled with corpses? Maybe have the scene at the end with the love interest be about a moment of them truly comforting their lover in the aftermath of it all, understanding(or not) that as boss, it's your job to have to make the tough decisions. And now you have to live with them.

Or if you wanna go the other way, this could be one of the breaking points like Origins had. If you support Gasparde, Blackwall choses to tell you to get bent, and that he will die as benefits a knight. Defending the week, and calling you out on how you are just as bad as he ever was, a child killer who's going to run away from responsibility, to pretend you are some better person than what you actually are. You're a murder. Just like he was. You are just as responsible for the blood that's flowing as he was with that carriage back in the day.

It would have been a far more impressive reveal moment for his crimes, that's for sure.

Cole probably would be the one who would be second most upset, but wheter he leaves or ultimately stays should probably be depended on your other choices and your relationship with him prior to this, probably have his personal quest be the determinating factor of what he chooses to do.

And i could go on, but point is, this would be a return to Origins choices actually mattering. There were choices that could make or break a characters bond with you. Shale would not budge regarding Caridin, Leliana and wynne would stand against you if you choose to defile the urn, Sevran would choose to betray you for his old friend if he didn't like you enough, and of course the age old choices at the end of act 3 in da2, where you have to pick between templars and Mages, as well as anders fate, and chances are regardless of what you do, at least 1 person ends up dead.

If anyone reading this has any suggestions for how to further improve this storyline, feel free to share, but regardless, i think we can all agree that this is a vast improvement of what we actually got.

[luckyjak]

how I would fix veilguard

general note: I enjoyed Dragon Age: The Veilguard and it is very easy, post game release, for me (a person who doesn't work for Bioware and isn't the game's developers) to sit back in my armchair and go "This is what they should have done instead." That said, this is the internet, and I have opinions, so let's roll.

also, spoilers, obviously.

First, I would have made two games out of the material in Veilguard, not one.

Game one (which we will still call The Veilguard) takes place in Northern Thedas. The beginning of the game is the same: you interrupt Solas's ritual, and Elgar'nan and Ghilan'nain escape. However, rather than taking over Thedas together, the two decide to divide and conquer: Ghilan'nain takes over the North, and Elgar'nan takes over the South.

Most of the game stays the same. You still play as Rook; however, the game starts with Varric recruiting you, so you get a chance to spend time with Varric before, you know, Solas. You still recruit your seven friends. For pacing purposes, romance and friendship scenes occur faster. This is because we're going to end the game sooner.

We're going to shave off all of Act 3.

Why would we do this? Ghilan'nain and Elgar'nan are both stand-out villains who deserve their own time in the spotlight. As it is now, we hardly spend any time with Elgar'nan other than the constant looming threat of him, and Ghilan'nain mostly comes off as his lackey as opposed to a full-fledged "mother of monsters" she deserves to be. By splitting them into two games, each gets to shine as a villain, and Rook doesn't seem like such a overpowered protagonist who is able to kill (potentially) three elven gods.

So, where does Veilguard end? Last mission of The Veilguard should be "Isle of the Gods" and it should end exactly as that mission ends: Ghilan'nain's death, the realization of where Varric has been all along, and Solas trapping Rook in the Fade. Rook is trapped in the prison of regrets, realizes they are trapped, and then bam, end credits.

but wait, doesn't Veilguard suck now then? Most people agree acts 2 and 3 are the best part! And they are! But I think with tighter pacing, the whole game is improved. Remember, we are moving companion's Act 3 moments up to the end of Act 2 as well. We won't spend quite as long wondering when Lucanis will ever talk to us if we have his romance happen sooner, and that becomes true of all the companions.

So does the "Hero of the Veilguard" thing matter? It does, but not until the next game! Hold your horses!

--

So, now we make Game 5: Dragon Age: Dreadwolf. At the end of the last game, Solas established himself as a villain (by putting Rook in prison) so now it's time to really mess with that.

For starters: Game 5 cannot happen unless world state is included, and I'm talking about most of the Keep. Game 5 takes place in Southern Thedas, with the focus being on Fereldan, Orlais, and the Free Marches.

You play as the Inquisitor once more. You get to decide what happened between you and your LI in character creation: are you married now? Did you break up post-game? The game starts with you saying goodbye to your LI (if you still have one) then getting on a ship. No need for dialogue from LI, so no excuses about hunting down voice actors. The game starts with you getting a spirit hand, so that you can once again be the hero of the land. The ship is your Lighthouse, your base of operations that is always moving.

Your companions are:

dwarven grey warden woman (warrior)

human or elven orleasian bard man (rogue)

qunari runaway saarebas woman (mage)

spirit of wisdom (mage) *this is Solas in disguise, spying on you.

human avaar man (warrior)

human woman who definitely killed her husband (warrior)

dwarven artificer who is making bombs and got exiled to the surface (woman, rogue)

elf man who used to work for Solas but deflected (mage)

DLC character: my son Kieran, who is customizable, and also a blood mage

All of them are romancable if your Inky is single except for maybe Kieran.

Don't worry, though: you get frequent letters from your previous LI's giving you life updates (except for Solas but like. you know)

The core gameplay loop is sailing the Waking Sea to defend people from darkspawn and try to find more info on Elgar'nan, who is definitely causing trouble.

Places you visit:

Highever (Fereldan): I have legit always wanted to go there. Saving my origin character's hometown that is currently being ravaged by darkspawn? Fuck yeah

obviously, the slaughter of Denerim (Fereldan). Bonus points if we save the life of King Alistair/Queen Anora

Ostwick (Free Marches)

Val Royeaux (Orlais)

Cumberland (Orlais)

Maybe also Orzamar?

Jader

Final battle at Halamshiral because we love a callback.

Essentially, all the stuff we hear about in Inky's letters about the south, we now get to experience in the game.

Elgar'nan has done something fucky with time magic and now Halamshiral is half modern Orlais, half ancient elven empire. He's trying to bring the veil down, and Solas is unsure if he wants to stop him, or wait until he brings the Veil down to stop him.

Inky requests Rook from the Fade. Rook tells Inky about Solas's betrayal. Double-team Act 3 time, where people may still die depending on faction strengths in Veilguard, and who/what Inky has managed to save in Dreadwolf.

Assume you manage to stop Elgar'nan, and then the question becomes:

Do you, the Inquisitor, stop Solas? Save him from himself? Or die trying?

[triaelf9]

Countdown to DAtV, day 19!

Inquisition Snapchat! Yes I know this is a terrible scribble & really silly joke, but that first one still makes me laugh so hard XD BOO ORLAIS SUCKS XD The Inquisitor shitposting through the ball would be incredible tho XD

If you want to join in on the Countdown hashtag, share a DA creation of yours that you've been wanting to repost! Let's share our old creations to get hyped for the new game!