#organ failur has once again made a strange little guy. who could have guessed.

[organised-disaster]

@randosfandos heyyy girlll

Do you reckon if i gave it a top hat and spray painted her yellow it could pass for a billsona

Say hi to Stranger who has been in the works for FAR too long with this temporary(?) design.

Once again, yapping under cut

She's the newest addition to my worldbuilding and it's from the Outer Spaces. Not outer space, the Outer Spaces. Very different places (although some Far Spaces do resemble outer space)

The Outer Spaces are pretty much the backrooms, although there are some key differences. Most things in the Outer Spaces aren't hostile (like Stranger), and the environments are mostly survivable. You can't really get to the Outer Spaces from this universe, although things from the Outer Spaces can leak in through weak points.

That's how Stranger got here. It kind of just showed up one day and didn't leave. She's Jess-Ava's friend and has made a room in her cupboard. It has an odd habit of manipulating the space around her, although this upset Jess-Ava and she stopped doing it in Jess-Ava's room fairly soon after meeting her. It's too tall for most spaces indoors and has a perpetually sore neck as a result.

It doesn't speak, although she probably understands Anglish. It's unclear if she eats, but you can put a sandwich in front of it and leave the room for a while and come back to a guilty-looking Stranger and a missing sandwich.

Maintaining eye contact with her isn't a good idea

Bigger version of the high opacity sunspots lol

[yamujiburo]

Jessie and Cassidy reconciliation fanfic thing

I was going through my notes app just now to just clear out some junk and I found something I'd written like a year ago and totally forgot about hahhaha. I don't usually do fanfics but I guess I was in a writing mood that night. I can't remember why I stopped. I either got stuck, didn't know how I wanted it to end or was just having a hard time figuring out like,,,, the arcs and what I wanted the main focus of the story to be. Anyhow, here it is if you wanna read the set up I made for it haha

Jessie, James and Meowth have once again failed to complete a mission and Matori is TIRED of it. She brings it up go Giovanni who tells her not to worry about them. Matori can’t figure out why Giovanni puts up with them and starts digging on possible reasons why Giovanni would keep them around. She decides to go to HR to find answers. There, she meets Wendy.

“Ah– Matori!”

“Pull up records for Jessie, James and–“, Matori notices that Wendy already has Jessie’s files pulled up and gives her a strange look.

“I see you’re already doing your research on Miss Jessie…”

“N-no! Well, yes. It’s just that Jessie has continuously failed almost all missions she’s been assigned! Not to mention she’s singlehandedly almost made the organization go broke. Well, not really but she still owes a lot of money!”

“And the other two?”

“Huh? Oh yeah them, too I guess.”

“I just don’t understand what Giovanni could possible see in them. They’re not good for Team Rocket.”

“Tell me about it, I’ve been trying to get the boss to fire them for years. But he’s got a real soft spot for them apparently. Tch, to think they were the top of their class once.”

“Hmph, I find that hard to believe.”

“I can’t speak for James and Meowth, but Jessie really was a promising recruit. So much so that when she threatened to quit, she somehow manipulated every exec into fulfilling her demands.”

“Threatened to quit?” The gears in Matori’s head began to turn. Sure Giovanni wouldn’t fire the trio, but if they were to quit, there would be nothing he could do.

“Yeah, she had a falling out with her first partner. And instead of being PROFESSIONAL she wined until she got a new one. Then she proceeded to go through like 10 more partners until James came along. If you’ve ever talked to her I’m sure you can tell she’s not the easiest person to work with.”

“Hm. Perhaps it’s time to switch up some teams.”

“C-can you do that? Is that allowed?”

“I could pull some strings.”

“Isn’t that sabotage?” Wendy asks. Matori shoots her a look.

“Call it what you want, but it’s my job to make sure this organization is successful as possible. Getting rid of some problem lackeys will only benefit Team Rocket. If Giovanni won’t do anything about them, then I will.”

“Matori. You are my hero”

“Are there any potential candidates we could temporarily team them up with? Or members they’ve been known to… not get along with?”

A big, Gengar-like smile creeps on Wendy’s face. “I know just the agents.”

_____________________________________________________________

Early in the morning in Jessie and James’ base, they get a call from Matori. Jessie is already annoyed, knowing who’s calling, but she wakes up her team members just in case it was Giovanni.

“A little early don’t you think, Matori?” Matori composes herself and ignores Jessie’s jab.

“Giovanni hasn’t arrived yet, but I have very important news.” Jessie, James and Meowth’s interests are piqued. “Your success rates have been… less than exemplary. But, you have previously shown you are exceptional agents.”

Jessie is taken aback by the, sort of, compliment from Matori. “So what’s the issue?”

“We have reason to believe that, while neither of you are individually the reason for your constant failures, you are incompatible as a team and you are going to be reassigned to different partners, effective immediately.”

James and Meowth look at each other shocked, and the thoughts going through their head were interrupted by their soon to be, not-leader. “WHAT?! You can’t split us up! We–“

“I apologize for the inconvenience. But this is for the benefit of Team Rocket. I do not have time to argue this. It has already been decided and your new partners have been decided. James, you are to return to headquarters where you will meet your new partner and Jessie, you will remain where you are and your new partner will arrive tomorrow.”

“What about, Me-owth?”

Matori pauses. She hadn’t thought about the cat. “You can decide who you wish to go with. Thank you for your time. Best of luck with your new arrangements.”

Matori hangs up. Jessie, James and Meowth stand staring at the screen, solemn. What doe they do now? Years of working together over, just like that.

“UGH THAT LITTLE FOUR EYED BOWL CUT HAIRED FREAK! I’m gonna do something about this! They can’t do this to us!” James gently puts his had on Jessie’s shoulder.

“There’s nothing we can do,”

James packs up, Meowth has decided to go with James. They say their goodbyes. James and Meowth grab the rest of their things and leave. Jessie is left alone with her thoughts.

_____________________________________________________________

Back at headquarters, we see James and Meowth being led by Matori to her office where she says his new partner is waiting. She talks about how this member is in a very similar situation. They walk in and see short, green hair. “BUTCH???”

“Oh no not you guys!”

“If you’re my new partner, that must mean…”

“Oh no,” they all say in unison.

_____________________________________________________________

Jessie still lying in the same place on her bed. Why was she feeling this way? She’d been through so many parters before. Sure she’d been with James and Meowth longer, but she wasn’t one to get attached. Well, not anymore. In the middle of her thought, she hears the elevator to the base coming down. She gets up and makes herself as presentable as possible (over shirt is off, makeup kinda smeared, boots off). Before she can get her shit together, a pair of white boots click, clack in. Jessie looks up, and the flash of orange, blonde seared her eyes.

“CASSIDY?!”

“JESSIE?!”

“No, no, no there has to be some sort of mistake. I can’t be teamed up with you! I hate you!”

“The feeling’s mutual.”

“I can’t believe I going to have to work with your ugly ass every day.”

“You’re one to talk. Have you looked in the mirror lately?” Jessie turned to the standup mirror leaning against the wall. She was definitely not looking her best.

“You caught me at a bad time!”

“You sure? I recall you always looking this ratty. I guess it has been a while since I’ve seen you, thank goodness," Cassidy said smugly. Jessie was already pissed off.

“We’re calling Matori RIGHT NOW to fix this.”

“Gee, while you’re looking like that?”

“I DON’T WANNA HEAR IT.” Jessie picked up the communicator, which brandished a large R on the wall. Matori picked up.

“Good afternoon Jessie, are you aware that you’re not in uniform?”

“Cut the crap you clod! You set me up with Cassidy on purpose!”

“Ah I see you’ve met your new partner! Hello, Cassidy.”

“Matori,” Cassidy said with a small bow. Of course Cassidy was trying to stay composed. Just another way to try one-up Jessie.

“We can NOT work together. I demand you put me back on my old team!”

“While I’m not one to disagree with higher ups, Miss Matori, I unfortunately have to side with Jessie on this one. You might not be aware but Jessie and I were partners once in our training days. We simply are not compatible,” Cassidy explained as politely as possible.

“Was there a reason for this, incompatibility? I was looking through your records and it appeared that you two were quite the team back in the day. I had assumed that the executives just wanted two top agents to be on other teams with some less skilled trainees.” Both Cassidy and Jessie blushed.

It was true that Jessie and Cassidy were at the top of their class for quite some time. But the reasons for them being split up were quite… personal.

“Listen, we just can’t work together. Try getting that through that helmet head of yours.”

_____________________________________________________________

~aaaaand this is where i got to~

Anyone wanna finish this for me? /j

I can't remember where I wanted this to go. I think I was gonna have Jessie and Cassidy try to suck it up and work together so they don't lose their jobs. They fight Ash and Goh, trying to get Pikachu as usual and quickly fail because of their bickering. They eventually have a heart to heart, wondering where they went wrong back when they were a team. They say a lot of things that they'd failed to communicate in the past and reconcile.

THEN this is where I kinda got stuck on what I wanted the focus/them to me. There was a version in my head where after they reconcile they like,,, make out and start falling in love again (for those new here, I firmly believe Jessie and Cassidy are bitter exes and had a falling out during their training days). After this their chemistry and communication improve immensely resulting in them succeeding to catch Pikachu. Matori comes to retrieve it but Ash and Goh get it back while it's in Matori's hands (making it her failure). And then I wasn't sure how to end this version. Maybe things going back to normal after Giovanni finds out that Jessie and Cassidy are dating and deems it unprofessional. Jessie, James and Meowth are reunited and Cassidy and Butch are as well. Happy ending were things are as they were but now Cassidy and Jessie are on good terms and still together maybe???

The oooother version was centering the story more around Jessie and her inability to keep her partners/not appreciating them. If I went with this I think I'd start off the story differently with her being a dick to James and Meowth (which she is a lot of the time but this time she crosses a line). After the team switch she finds that she really had been taking her teammates for granted. I think Cassidy and Jessie still have that heart to heart but then it's more about how Jessie hurt Cassidy and Jessie kinda realizes that she's still making the same errors currently. They reconcile buuut the both of them still want their old partners back so they hatch a plan to successfully steal Pikachu but ensure that Ash gets it back when it's in Matori's hands. They request that they be paired up with their old teammates and in exchange, wouldn't tell Giovanni that Matori messed up. Everything goes back to normal the end.

I had too many jumbled ideas and because I don't have the attention span to write for more than a couple hours I just dropped this LOL. Just thought I'd share in case anyone found this remotely interesting or entertaining hehe

[mysingularitybts]

Glances a Jung Hoseok One-Shot

Pairing: Jung Hoseok x famous!reader

Genre: romance, 

Warnings: none 

Here I was at another big fancy event. Don't get me wrong it was an amazing opportunity and it showed how far I had come in my career. I was honored to be invited to the Variety Hitmakers Brunch, yet I detested how snotty everyone here was.

All award shows of sorts were always the same thing, people bragging about what they won. It seems they forget the reason we are here is to celebrate the music that has the power to change many people's lives. Even the dirtiest songs have the power to help a person. Music can lift people's moods, give them closure, become their relationship songs, give warmth to a romantic moment. Music is always in our lives one way or another making every moment better. It's why it's so crucial in moviemaking. It sets the mood and without it, everything would be much less anticlimactic and boring.

Back to the point at hand, it's not so much the artists who I frown upon, it's the people behind them. Managers and CEO's, they suck the life out of events treating it like a business (which it is for them). Their greedy eyes looking for the next collaboration, for the next hit. They whisper in your ears making you think it's your idea, but it's not. It's all part of their master plan to make more money, to make you do most of the work. Having barely any regard for your health or wants or needs.

I don't want to say it's like I describe all the time because it's not, but a lot of them are like that. I'm one of the lucky few who got a good team behind them. It was no easy task though I failed many times and people failed me, somehow, I managed to get through it. I had my family and friends to pick me up every time I fell and made a mistake. Eventually, I found my amazing manager Carly and she led me to my amazing record label.

It's been five years since I've been in the music industry officially. It all started when I was 16 and had a dream of becoming a successful singer. How naïve I was thinking it was just going to be me signing to my heart's content. HA! It was eventually, but first I had to learn to produce, to practice singing, and to practice dancing. I had to face failure every time my CEO said she didn't like my new song or theme. Having to start over again to come out with something that satisfied her. After finally coming out with an album I loved with all my heart and it being a success I also had to face a lot of hatred and as a 17-year-old girl, it hits you hard. Other than the hatred I also had to manage my personal life and learn to adapt to a new way of life.

It's all in the past now. I learned how to ignore the hate to my best ability. I learned to focus on the fans that loved my work. To hear them out and become even better. There were a lot of things that happened in between, but I like to think they don't matter anymore as long as I learned my lesson. Although my dream to become a singer was very different from what I imagined, I didn't regret it one bit. It led me to where I was right now receiving an award for artist of the year at the Vanity Hitmakers Brunch.

Walking around with Carly leading the way I saw a lot of my colleagues and friends. Depending on what they were doing whether that was being interviewed or simply talking amongst each other I'd wave hello or stop and talk to them. These award things could be reunions between friends since it was hard at times to meet up with everybody since we were all on tour or filming or in different parts of the globe. It was one of the reasons I still came to these events the other reason being the fans. I owed them my success so if seeing me in an award show made them happy then I would go. I would also fangirl over other artists. Can you blame me? I'm only a human that likes listening to people's music.

As I walked around, I saw Billie Eilish, an amazing artist I collaborated with a few months ago. I liked her since she also saw the truth behind this industry, we had an understanding about it and that made us bond. I could only wave since she was in a conversation with one of the organizers of the awards.

As I kept walking and looking around my eyes landed on seven gorgeous men. My jaw dropped not only because of their beauty but because of who they were. It was none other than BTS. My heart raced; I have been a fan of their music since practically the beginning. How did I not know they were going to be here? I've always wanted to meet them, but we never coincided on any past award shows because for some reason every time they went, I had something else going on. I hated myself for it.

With sweaty palms, I debated on going over to them. I mean they were probably busy talking to somebody else yet nobody was approaching them. They even seem bored. Why was that? They were an amazing band that everybody wanted to collaborate with or be seen with. It just didn't make sense. Maybe it was the language barrier? It could be since not many American artists knew Korean.

With that thought in mind, I hung my head in defeat since I didn't know Korean either. Disappointed I turned around to leave when I almost slapped myself across the face in realization. One of them knows English surely with his help you could get the point across that you were a huge fan and not only that, but this dumb bitch also knows Korean.

How could I forget I know a whole other language is beyond me, but it happened. Thank you Nari for teaching me. Nari is my best friend we have known each other since preschool and are still very close. Her parents moved to the United States from Korea when she was still just a baby.

While I was in school my parents often were not around much so the Seong family took care of me until they got off work. Thus, I learned the Korean language and a bit of its culture. Plus, I gained a whole other family who I love very much.

Shaking my thoughts away I began walking over to them. My hands trembling in excitement, my inner fangirl begging to come out. I kept her locked up though because I did not want to make a fool out of myself. As I got closer, I saw Jimin look my way from his spot on one of the sofas that were around the tents.

When I got to where they were, they all stopped talking between themselves and looked up at me. Eyes wide not knowing what to expect.

With a gulp, I bowed and with a trembling voice said in Korean, "Hello, my name is y/n and I am a huge fan of your work." I crossed my fingers hoping my Korean didn't fail me.

With anxiousness, I waited for their response. Suddenly it vanished as Jungkook smiled up at me, stood up and shook my hand.

"Hello y/n, I'm Jeon Jungkook I'm glad you enjoy our work." He said smiling brightly at me.

I almost fainted seeing as 1/7 of BTS was standing in front of me shaking my hand. I was never going to wash my hand again. Gathering my wits, I kept on smiling as the introductions kept going around.

Once all introductions were done, which I think weren't necessary, they made a space for me to sit with them.

"I got to say I didn't expect anybody here to speak our language," Yoongi said from his seat as he looked at me.

"Oh, I only know because of my best friend. She's also Korean and taught me everything I know," I explained, "If I say anything wrong, blame her," I finished joking.

"No, you are doing very well, your friend did a good job," Hoseok said from his spot beside me.

"I have to say I am also a big fan of your music," he then said abashedly.

"Really?!" I said surprised not expecting them to know much about my music.

"Yeah, he has followed your music for about two years now," Taehyung exclaimed as he shot Hoseok a teasing smile.

"He even has a collection of your albums," Jin blurted out trying to get the point across.

"Yah, stop it you are embarrassing me," Hoseok told them, trying to play it cool and hide his blushing face.

"There's nothing to be embarrassed about. It makes me so happy that you enjoy my music!" I honestly said holding my hands close to my heart.

It was one thing to meet your idols but for them to also know your music is another level. I felt proud of myself since I looked up to them and their work.

We sat in the middle of the tent talking to our heart's content for a while. I was glad I had the guts to talk to them seeing as they no longer looked so serious or bored. I guess they were just a little lonely and wanted some company. Talking to them felt easy. I thought it would be a bit more awkward, but I was proven wrong. They knew how to hold a conversation. We talked about everything from their upcoming music to my music, to the places we've traveled, and about the awards in itself. There was never a boring moment; they made everything entertaining or interesting.

It was when we were laughing loudly about something Jimin said that my manager came to tell me it was time to go find our seats since the ceremony would begin shortly. With a disappointed sigh, I went to stand up and say goodbye to BTS.

"Well, guys I guess this is goodbye," I started saying sadly, "It was great meeting you, I hope I get to see you again."

"I hope so too," Taehyung said enthusiastically, "I had a lot of fun talking to you."

I looked at them as I bid my farewells. When I got to Hoseok he looked as if he wanted to tell me something but couldn't bring himself to.  Yoongi, noticing his reaction, took matters into his own hands.

"Hey y/n, how about we take a picture to remember this day?" he asked, offering a smile.

"Let's do it!" I responded.

They all stood up and got into position. It was Jungkook, Jimin, Taehyung, Namjoon, me, Hoseok, Yoongi, and Jin. I felt as Namjoon wrapped an arm around my shoulders and Hoseok partially wrapped his arm around my waist not quite touching me. Something strange happened to me as I felt very aware of his body heat, touch, and the smell of his cologne.

Once the pictures were taken, I felt disappointed as he stepped away from me. Disregarding those thoughts, I shook my head and bid them goodbye once again. I couldn't believe I had met BTS wait until I told Nari. She is going to freak out and ask me all kinds of questions. I would be able to fangirl with her, but until then I'd have to hold it in.

The awards went, as usual, I cheered on my fellow friends and colleagues, yet I cheered a little louder for my new friends BTS, they truly deserved the award. As someone who has seen them from the beginning, I could say they worked very hard to get to where they are now and had been through some tough times. Not only did they manage to become successful in Korea, but they also paved the way for many Korean artists to get recognized in the United States.

Once the awards ended and all the photoshoots and speeches were done, I found myself walking to the back entrance of the building to get to the SUV waiting for me. My feet were killing me making my back hurt, the makeup on my face felt uncomfortable, and not to mention the dress I was wearing got scratchier the more I had it on.

Deep into my thoughts, I didn't hear a voice calling out to me until Carly nudged her elbow into my side. I looked at her questioningly and she pointed over to the man walking over to me his dimpled smile being a welcoming sight.

"Oh, sorry Namjoon I didn't hear you, what's up?" I spoke as I stopped walking waiting for him to catch up.

"Don't worry, it happens to all of us, I wanted to ask if you were going to the after-party?" he asked as he tilted his head in question. It was a cute sight not going to lie.

"No, I'm not a big fan of after-parties they get too wild," I explained.

"In that case, would you like to meet up with us in a few hours after we get out of here?" he eagerly asked "We are not big fans either of American after-parties. They get awkward for us because of the language barrier," he finished saying.

"I understand," I told him reassuringly, "Count me in."

"We'll stay at our hotel and celebrate there. I'll send you the address," he stated, giving me a smile, his eyes closing at the same time.

"I'll see you there!"

"One more thing!" He exclaimed, "Come in comfortable clothes it'll just be us hanging out, no need for fancy clothing," he then finished explaining seeing my confused face.

"Even better, this dress has been getting more uncomfortable the more I wear it," I said relieved that I wouldn't have to dress up again.

It was fun dressing up, but it got uncomfortable quickly.

"See you later?" Namjoon asked one more time as he started walking away.

"Definitely," I replied as I waved him goodbye.

As soon as I got to my apartment, I took a quick shower and changed into a pair of high waisted leggings and a cropped hoodie. I didn't do much with my makeup, just applied some tinted moisturizer, did my eyebrows, applied some mascara, and some lip balm. Trust me compared to what I was wearing earlier this was nothing. As I got ready Namjoon sent me a text with the address of the hotel and what time I should get there. Luckily the hotel wasn't that far, and I had about an hour to spare. So, I did the only reasonable thing. I took a nap. After my nap, I realized it was time to go.

When I arrived at the hotel, I quickly made my way up to the room Namjoon told me about. As I got closer to the door, I heard a lot of loud voices, yup, I was definitely in the right place.

I knocked on the door and waited for somebody to open it. I didn't have to wait long when Hoseok confusedly opened the door.

"Y/n?" he asked surprised.

"Yeah? Hi Hoseok," I greeted smiling up at him.

"I didn't know you were coming," he confessed, still looking confused.

"Oh, I invited her," Namjoon began saying, "I guess I forgot to tell you, Sorry Hobi."

"Yah Hoseok let her in already," Jin yelled from his place on the sofa.

Hurriedly Hoseok got out of the way and gestured me in. I walked inside and noticed they were all dressed comfortably too in Jeans and their signature Hoodies. As I looked around somebody ran up to me and engulfed me in a hug. When they stepped back, I realized it was Taehyung.

"Hi, Taehyung!" I greeted him.

"Y/n I'm so glad you're here!" he said excitedly, "I was getting bored with these people around." He then said seriously.

I started laughing when I heard a hurt "Hey!" from Jimin.

Unbeknownst to me, Taehyung was sending Hoseok a teasing smile as he glared at him not liking the proximity between us.

"What were you guys up to?" I asked curiously.

"Nothing much we were going to start a live soon," Jungkook answers as he set up a tripod in front of the sofa.

"Oh! In that case let me know so I can scooch over a corner while you talk to army," I told them kindly.

"Nonsense you get to be with us in the live," Jimin said from his place on the dining table the hotel offered.

"Are you sure?" I questioned with uncertainty, "I know you guys don't usually have guests in your lives."

BTS usually didn't do lives with other people. They did them mainly amongst themselves. I didn't know how army would take it if they had somebody else with them, especially a girl. They would certainly have something to say about it.

"We're sure. Don't worry, it'll be fun!" Hoseok said from behind me as he patted my shoulder.

As soon as the setup was done we all gathered around the sofa. Jungkook, Jimin, Namjoon, Jin, and Yoongi sat on the L shaped sofa while Taehyung, Hoseok, and I sat on the floor leaving me in between them.

Surprisingly the live went very smoothly and it was a lot of fun. I didn't see many hate comments just questioning ones as to why I was there. The guys introduced me as their new friend and as we went along the live there were opportunities for me to get to know them a bit better.

While I sat there, I felt as Hoseok's leg pressed against mine, making me feel flustered. Warmth spread through me the more the live went on. At some point he whispered something in my ear in a low voice that made me lose focus on what was happening around me. He was doing things to me I couldn't explain. I wonder if he also felt the same things I did. Towards the end of the live I couldn't focus anymore. The strange thing was that Taehyungs leg was also very close to mine and he even had his arm around me for some time, yet that did not bother me in any way.

When the live ended my thoughts were interrupted by Jimin giving out a yell as he opened a bottle of champagne. Deciding not to think of my bodies reaction to the rapper beside me I shook my head and accepted the glass Namjoon offered me.

I was glad I came to what I now call the BTS afterparty. The guys were amazing and came up with the weirdest games.

Throughout the night I couldn't help but sneak glances at Hoseok. My eyes always wondered to him without my consent and whenever he spoke my attention would instantly be on him. At one point when I turned to look at him, he was already staring at me very intensely. I tried to hold eye contact, his eyes were very dark and alluring causing me to get lost in them, feeling as if I had fallen into a dark abyss. There was so much emotion in his gaze, I got overwhelmed and looked away. I felt as a blush crept up my cheeks and as I looked back up again, he gave me a smirk.

Wasn't Hoseok supposed to be the sunshine of the group? This wasn't sunshine, sure it was fiery but it was also sinful and flirty and dark.

After a while and I decided I had enough to drink so I got up to leave. I wasn't drunk or tipsy but if I kept drinking, I would get there. I bid my farewells promising to see them again soon and left the room. As the doors to the elevator started to close a hand stopped them and a man came in.

Looking up at him I confusedly asked, "Hoseok?"

"Y/n wait," he said rushed.

"What is it?" I asked nervously.

It was only the two of us in the elevator and as I recalled all the glances and grins he gave me back in the room, I started growing nervous. I stuck my hands in the front pocket of my hoodie to try and hide their trembling.

He got very close to me, our chests almost touching. He leaned his face down towards mine. I felt his hands graze my cheeks with his breath mixing with mine. He got closer, his lips brushing on mine until he pulled away. I hadn't realized I had closed my eyes but as he grew the distance between us, I opened them in confusion, disappointment reflecting in them. I was breathless even though the kiss didn't happen and as I looked at him, he was the same way.

Hoseok still had his hands on my face and I felt as he grazed his thumb on my lips. For some reason, he also had a disappointed look on his face. I wonder why, he could have kissed me if he wanted, plus,  he was the one in control of the whole situation. He could have done anything and I wouldn't have protested.

"Let me take you out on a date first," he said, answering my silent question.

I could only nod but that was not enough for him.

He got closer again but this time it was to whisper in my ear, "I need to hear you say it."

His voice was low and raspy. I couldn't stop the goosebumps from arising on my skin.

"Y-Yes, I'd, um, love to go on a date with you," I felt like a schoolgirl as I stuttered.

I jumped as I felt the elevator ding signaling it had arrived at its destination. Somehow without me noticing he had stepped away taking his warmth with him and leaving me cold.

"I'll see you soon for our date, y/n," he then said cheerfully, his attitude changing completely from before.

"Bye Hoseok," I said perplexed at the sudden change.

I walked away from the elevator but turned to look back. There he was staring at me again as the door closed and just before they did, he sent me a wink as a seductive smile made its way to his lips.

A/N: I don't think I've ever written anything like this. So, if you guys enjoyed it please let me know and make sure to like and reblog to show your support.

Im still shocked at what I wrote. It honestly started as an innocent idea but towards the end something like happened. It's not smutty but like I tried to write a tension between them.

Did you feel it? Did it need more?

Please let me know!

See you guys later ;) 💜 x

-Nikki Marie

[maddiesmt-morphina]

7 minutes in heaven - Chapter 7: Let the challenges begin

The silence in the car was disturbing. Erina really didn't expect to be at the mercy of her own thoughts and memories of what had happened. She expected more. She waited for Hisako's interrogation, awaited her phrases of disappointment, and even longed for the reprimand she would receive from her friend. She really expected everything. Except for the stifling silence that surrounded her.

She tried to analyze her friend's face. The far-off look and the breathing that, once in a while grew stronger, resembled sighs. Like a storm falling on a sunny day, Erina felt the guilt invade every inch of her body. She had been so engrossed in her own actions and thoughts that she took nothing but herself into account. And that silence was her punishment for being, once again, the selfish, spoiled girl who didn't deserve her friendship.

"Hisako" Her voice came out thin and full of guilt.

The pink-haired girl stepped out of her trance to direct her attention to the heiress.

"Yes, Erina-sama?" Do you desire something?

"Yes"

"And what that would be? I can arrange it straight away" The young secretary was already with her phone in hand, ready to dial any number"

"I wish you…to forgive me"

"Hm?" Hisako's eyes widened, and her expression betrayed her confusion.

"B... But Erina-sama! What do you mean? Forgive you for what?"

"I ... I was selfish again. And don't you try to tell me that I wasn't because I can see in your eyes that you wish you had stayed"

"But Erina-sama, you told me yourself that if I wanted to, I could stay. I came because I wanted."

"No." The blonde closed her eyes and smiled slightly as she lowered her head and shook her head. "You came because you are a good friend, Hisako."

Hisako froze. She didn't know what to say.

" Listen, Hisako. I really want you to forgive me for always need you and for you to have to give up important things because of me. It doesn't matter if you say it was your choice because we both know you never had a choice, did you? That's because you put yourself aside the moment someone else needs you, so you cease to be your own choice"

The girl remained silent. She had never stopped to think about her actions and today she was questioned about it not only by the spice expert, but also by her best friend.

"Promise me you won't let anyone nullify you again, Hisako. Not even if that person is me.

"Erina -sama ... I ..."

"Just Promise me! Promise me, please! Because I will never be happy knowing that you're not completely happy. You're not my employee Hisako! You're my best friend! And what I have discovered in all these events is that friends don't bow their heads! They quarrel, they disagree, but they also support and love each other despite all the defects and failures! So, I guess, what I'm asking you is for you be more you than me, you know? I don't want the version of you that accomplishes my wishes and does everything to please me. I want the true version of Arato Hisako. All right?"

Hisako felt the vision blur. She blinked several times until she felt a few tears fall on her cheeks. She noticed that the same tears were running down her friend's face and she smiled gently.

"As you wish, Erina-sama."

Erina let the relief form a beautiful smile on her face and decided she would start a conversation herself.

"Then tell me Hisako, what dish were you preparing?"

The girl couldn't hide her excitement as she spoke of the menu she had carefully prepared with Hayama, and Erina began to notice that her eyes sparkled every time she spoke his name.

Meanwhile in the dormitory, Soma had finally finished organize the mess in the closet. He still murmured some offense to the heiress when he came across the clean, empty kitchen. On the counter a single plate and a note written in several different letter forms.

"Soma-kun, I hope you don't mind that we didn't wait for you, is that ..." Soma noticed how the letter, which was certainly from Megumi, was a bit trembling in the last word, a sign that someone had stolen the pen. Soon afterwards the young man recognized Daigo's bold letters.

"YUKIHIRA YOU SON OF A B..." with the last word utterly scratched in the form of censorship, Soma didn't have to be a genius to know what Daigo was calling him of and went to the next paragraph, trying to decipher Shoji's lyrics.

"Yukihira, don't mind Daigo! He just envies you, just like all of us!"

Soma noticed the next sentence in an elegant and totally different handwriting from the previous one.

"Don't put me in that context." signed: Hayama

"Yukihira, you need to teach me how you got it! Teach me, SENSEI!" Signed: Marui

"Thank you for helping me win the bet." signed: Ibusaki

"Yukihira! You're so shameless! Did you have to give it a show? "

"Are you jealous Nikimichhi?"

"Shut it Yuki"

"Congratulations on your new relationship, Yukihira! It's a relationship, isn't it?" signed Sakaki

"Ah the youth! Each day more premature"

"FINALLY, YUKIHIRA! But I confess that my plan ended up better than I expected! Thank you for the show! Listening to you guys from outside the closet was really the entertainment we need, wasn't it Ryo?"

"Miss Alice is right"

"Although I was a little embarrassed, I'm happy for you guys. It was about time!" Signed: Isami

"Yukihira you bastard! You made Tadokoro pass out twice! If you ever threat her purity again I'll…"

"I'm sorry about that, Soma-kun. Anyway, we saved some of the dish Hayama and Arato made. Once again, forgive us for not waiting for you. We were all very tired."

Signed: Megumi.

Soma stared at the note with a confused expression. What had happened that night? He still hadn't got rid of the feel of the heiress's lips running down his neck. Her nail marks were still there on his skin as proof that nothing had been a dream, but the anger he felt was still there. She had made him a fool.

He tried to breathe deeply and decided that he would analyze the situation when he was rested and sober. He sat down to eat as he reread the letter until he noticed a detail that had gone unnoticed in the first reading. The young man opened his eyes wide and dropped the hashi when he realized that all his friends had witnessed, or at least heard, what had happened inside the closet. He let out a heavy sigh. He was totally fucked.

Already in the corridors of the mansion, Ryo accompanied his mistress to her room, as he did every night. She kept chattering about the triumphs of her wondrous plan, and he usually wouldn't mind, but that night, Ryo felt strangely uneasy.

"Mou Ryo! What's with face? It seems more lethargic than normal."

"Hm ..."

"Don't tell me you're jealous of Yukihira?"

"I have no reason to be jealous, Miss Alice"

"That's better be true! Erina can't have it all!"

"What do you mean, miss?"

"I mean I don't want her to steal my aide!"

"Hm..."

When they reached the door of her room, Ryo stayed a little longer than necessary. That night he actually waited for her to open the door to enter.

"See you tomorrow, Ryo!"

"Hm ... I don't think so, miss."

"What? Already thinking about replace me for Erina? That's it, isn't it? That's why you were so airy"

"It's not"

"So, tell me! Why we won't see each other tomorrow? You're my aide! You can't leave me"

The shoe-popping on the floor diverted the young one's attention. Hisako appeared at the end of the hall and made herself be heard.

"Ah, Miss Alice! I'm Glad I could find you before you went to sleep. Could you give me your cell phone?"

"What the hell Hisoko?!Can't you see I'm in the middle of an argument with Ryo? What the hell do you need my cell phone for?"

"Well, excuse me, but it's the rules of your game, isn't it? Your dare starts at midnight and, well, it's already 5 before midnight. I thought you were saying goodbye.

"DARE?"

"Yes! Don't you remember? I dared you to spend a whole day without Kurokiba"

Alice started to tremble and it wasn't because of the cold. Anger mixed with fear and stubbornness gave Alice a scary look.

"Hisoko! This is bullshit! I can't stay a whole day without Ryo! He is my aide, my bodyguard, my secretary! Who will help me ?!"

"Don't worry about it! Erina-sama and I have already arranged the details with the security guards and some people who can assist you in Ryo's absence. Now, can you please give me your phone? You too, Kurokiba."

Ryo handed the cell phone to the girl while Alice panicked at the thought of the consequences of her game.

"Come on, Hisoko, the game is over. We have already reached our goal! We don't need to take this forward."

"You've reached your goal, Miss Alice. And if I need to go on a date tomorrow, so do you have to spend a day without Ryo" She finished her arrangements in the boy's cell phone and returned it to him

"Now you can give me yours"

Fearfully, Alice still tried to hold the phone more firmly, but her hands were sweaty because of her nervous status. It was enough to make Hisako pull the device from her hands without difficulty.

"Why do you need our cell phones?"

"First, I block this number from your cell phone, so you won't be able to call or communicate through social media. At least not with your cell phone. Secondly, I added an app in which I can monitor what you access and verify that you're not going to cheat"

"You really trust me, don't you Hisoko?"

"I'd like to say yes, but that's not the case. Tomorrow we'll have a team at your disposal and that will monitor you as well. Well, it's already two minutes before midnight, so I'll let you say your goodbye. Good evening, Miss Alice, Kurokiba."

And with a respectful nod, Hisako let the young ones enjoy their last minutes together.

"This is so unfair!"

"But it was you who asked for a dare"

"Come on Ryo! Don't remind me of that" She made a pout as she bit her own cheek. She needed to be strong. It would be just one day, and she would surpass this as she always has done with her most arduous obstacles.

"We're going to get over this, aren't we?"

"Yes"

"It's going to be a piece of cake for us!" She tried to look more confident, but her frightened look didn't fool her faithful aide. He approached her, enough to put a lock of hair behind her ear and whisper.

"Good night, Miss"

Alice felt her skin warm and thought it was because of her rage. She watched the boy walk away and stopped him when her fingers lightly grasped the end of the red cloth he wore tied to his wrist.

"Ryo." He didn't turn around. He knew he couldn't resist her pleading look. "Don't forget ..." She took a deep breath and let out the air along with the rest of the sentence. "Don't forget about me, okay?"

The boy clenched his fists and promised himself that he would never do anything like that again.

"Okay," was all he could say.

#

GUESS WHO IS BACK IN THE HOUSE?!

OMG GUYS!! Thank you so much for your support in the latest post! I got so inspired by it tha here I am with another chap!

And Yeah..sorry about the delay...here is the thing...I've been feeling down lately. Work and life are kicking hard. And, well, as you guys know this is a comedy fic. It is supposed to be light and fun to read . I don't want it to turn a angst fic because it'n not my intention after all I just wanna make you all laugh and relax a bit (And I hope that I've already managed that somehow).

I know this one was a short chapter but I promise you guys I'll give it my best to not let you down and, of course, add more Sorina moments in future chapters. ( Actually it was supposed to have a moment here but I'm keeping it for later as we have others shippes to have their moments to shine).

Don't forget to tell me what you think! The more feedback I have from you guys, the more I'll be able to write this fic as you like and enjoy and also the more inspire I become.

Thank you all for reading, following and commenting! It really means the world to me!

Special thanks to my beloved friend @royaldragonsevgisi15  and @erinashippo! You guys rock!

[spirit-of-creativity16]

KH One-Shot: A Glimpse of The Unknown

Summary: Terra is enjoying a moment of peace with his dearest friends. Until some kind of vision gave him a glimpse of an impending threat, or isn't it? It could be all in his head due having memories that doesn't belong to him. He can only hope that is the case because he didn't want his friends to suffer all over again.

Disclaimer: The following contain spoiler for Kingdom Hearts 3.  Please show your support this short story by liking it or leaving a comment. Enjoy!

The view from up here has always been breathtaking. From where they're sitting on a stoned bench, Terra and Aqua watch as the sun begin to set behind the distant mountains. Seeing how the blazing twilight slowly turns into chilly dusk. Truly, it's a sight to behold of how the light managed to shine for one last time, before its time come to an end.

Aqua snuggle closer to Terra, resting her head on his chest; feeling the strong beats of his heart against ear. Somehow his thundering heart beats made her feel very relax. It like listening to  lullaby only for her to listen. She soon feels her eyelids grow heavy by seconds. Making her drift into a deep nap while her head still rest on Terra's chest.

Terra stare down at his beloved friend, he couldn't help but smile at the sight. Seeing his blue-haired maiden like this made his heart lighten up. Knowing she is safe with him, and not suffering alone in the dark. He made sure to keep her warm by his giving brown jacket, so the chilly breeze wouldn't disturb her while she rest.

As Terra make sure to keep her comfortable, there is cheerful cry that can be heard from a short distant. Terra look up to see his best friend, Ventus, playing a game catch with odd little cat creature, named Chirithy. The two of them are throwing a green ball at each other, making sure it wouldn't hit the ground, and keep it in the air as much as they can.

"Think fast!" Ventus threw the ball at Chirithy.

"Ha!" The cat spirit manage to catch the ball, and throw it back at him.

Seeing them getting really competitive over a game of catch made Terra chuckle in amusement. As he watch them play their little game, it's Ven turn to throw the ball at Chirithy. However, he accidentally throw the ball at bit too hard this time. Making it fly pass Chirithy so fast it wasn't able to catch in time.

The shiny green ball is heading straight toward Terra, but luckily, he manages to catch in time. It nearly hit him in the face, but it didn't matter to him all; since his main priority is to keep Aqua safe.

"Oh my gosh!" Ventus quickly went up to hem with Chirithy hoping alongside him. "I'm so sorry, Terra. I didn't mean to do that." He apologized.

"Don't worry about it." Terra said, calmly.

The small commotion between the two made Aqua to wake up from her short nap. "Eh, what happened?" She rubs her tired eye. "Is everything alright?

"Everything is fine, Aqua." Terra reply, and then he throw back the ball to Ventus. "Be more careful next time, okay?"

"I will!" Ventus nodded in agreement then he went back playing his game with Chirithy.

While they are doing that, Terra turns to look at Aqua again. Noticing she still rubbing her eye and looking a bit more tired.

"Getting sleepy?" Terra ask.

"Just resting my eyes for a little." Aqua reply, tiredly.

"Are you sure? Lately you been getting tired more often." Terra brought up it to their discussion.

"I only been feeling like this for two days now." She retorted."It's proably nothing to worry about."

"Are you sure?"  Terra is still spectacle about it.

"Oh, Terra." Aqua snuggle him even closer. "You are such a big worry wort."

"Hey! I'm just making sure you're okay."

"Heh, I know." Aqua giggle by the fact.

The two of them continue to watch as the sun about to disappear into the horizon. Terra's cobalt eyes are set as the last ray of light finally died. With the sun gone, the stars start to appear in the purplish-blue sky one by one. From the moment he sees the first star appear, all of a sudden he feels a powerful jolt struck into his mind. Making him gasp loudly, and his vision turns  all white.

Soon, images begin to take shape to show him a vision of a great barren wasteland with hundreds of rusted keys stabbed into the ground. Standing in the center, there are five unidentifiable figures with a black box. Four of them are wearing similar robes and mask that cover up theirs upper face; however, each of them have a unique design. The decorated mask resembles different kinds of animals such as a unicorn, a snake, a bear, and finally, a leopard.

Then, the last image show him a familiar black coat with a hood on. Though the hood conceal the entire head, there is glimpse of showing parts of his face. Showing a man face with a single yellow eyes, and jagged scar running down on his cheek.

"Terra!" A voice that sounded like Aqua reach out to him. Pulling Terra out from his vision, and brought him back to reality.

"Huh, what?" Terra head twist and turn to all directions, seeing his friend surround him.

Aqua, Ventus, and Chirithy look at him with worry expressions. None of them don't know how to approach him after his sudden outburst.

"Terra, are you okay?" Aqua was the first to check on him.

"I'm not sure what just happened- Agh!" Then suddenly, he wince when his right eye twitch in pain. He place a hand over his right eye as his gritted teeth.

"What's wrong?" Aqua ask, worriedly.

"M-my...eye...it hurt." Terra groan, painfully.

The spark of worry within Aqua grow after hearing that. Making her to take action to get up from her seat, and then help Terra stand up with her.

"Come on, let go to castle." She stated.

"Huh, why?" Terra wonder.

"We need to get your eye check." Aqua answer.

"It's nothing. Really!" However, his words did not reach her.

Aqua took charge of the situation and drag Terra back to the castle, with Ventus and Chirithy following them. Hoping Terra's pain is only minor.

Once they arrived to castle, they all gather in the lounging area. Ventus and Chirithy sat on one of the cushioned seating, watching Aqua check Terra's eyes for any significant damage it may have suffered. Aqua sat beside Terra on a large couch, and grab one of those small flashlight use to check the eye reaction from a first aid kit.

When she held up the small flashlight up to his left eye, she pressed the button and see how the eye will react with light. Thankfully, the left eye did react normally as it should be. But when she checks on Terra's right eye, it made him wince in pain by the exposures.

"Agh!" Terra cover up his right eye again.

"It look like you eye is sensitive to light." Aqua pointed it out.

"Seriously, how did you hurt your eye, Terra?" Ventus asked.

"Maybe he was staring at the sun for too long?" Chirithy brought it up.

Ven look down at him, and gasp, "Chirithy, no!"

Soon, they all heard chuckle coming from Terra. "Maybe that is the case." He somewhat agree in a humorous way. "Guess I was staring at the sun too long."

"How can you be sure?" Aqua questioned.

"To be honest, I'm not sure either." He said,"It was so strange."

"Strange?" Aqua reapeated, "How so?"

"Well," He started, "I think saw a vision of some sort of people standing around the Keyblade Graveyard, and all of them except are wearing strange masks that look like animals." Terra did his best to describe the weird images he saw, before he was struck by pain in his eye.

Aqua and Ventus become quite all of a sudden. Trying to understand the meaning of the vision. Then suddenly, Ventus notices Chirithy look a bit shaken on his lap. A kinda strange to see him like this, as if something have scare him.

"Hey, are you okay little buddy?" Ventus petted the cat spirit's head.

"Oh! Um, sorry, I was getting cold. Brrrrr!" Chirithy stuttered, and wrap himself with his cape like he was getting cold.

"Huh, we'll we better get you blanket." He get up from his seat then he look at Terra and Aqua. "Be right back guys." And with that, Ventus take Chirithy with him to another room in the castle. Leaving the other two alone in the lounge area.

Aqua look directly at Terra again, "Is that all you saw?"

Terra went silent for a little.

"There was also a person wearing a black coat." He revealed.

"What? You mean the same black coat wore by the Organization XIII?" Suddenly, Aqua's hands clenched into fists by the mere mentioned of them.

"I think so," He said, "Something about him look familiar. And yet, my memories are still hazy. Those memories are from the times I was under Xehanort's control." Then he begin to rub his sore eye gently.

The blue-haired maiden become more concerns by the reveal. Wondering what could all of this mean?

"You don't think... there might be a chance someone who work with Master Xehanort is still out there?" Aqua theorize of a potential threat that might be hiding in the shadow. "What if they take over his plan, and attempt to summon Kingdom Hearts for their own gain. I don't want us to be force us apart again..."

She begin to feels unease by the notion. Her body start to shakes as horrible  memories of being separated from her friend, and spending more than ten years trapped in the dark realm; reminding her of much of failure she is. Aqua is so lost in her own mind that didn't she realize someone wrap an arm around.

It wasn't long until someone brought her back to her senses. Aqua now found herself in a tight embrace, and she look up too see it was Terra.  She look up to see Terra's face have a worry look, with his right eye is still close.

"There's no way I'm going to let it happen again." He said determinedly. "I'll make sure they'll regret for even trying!"

Aqua nodded, "If it does happen..." She started, "Then they have to go through us first, right?" She tries to think positively, so she wouldn't dwell on her dark thoughts.

"Yeah, we'll diffidently show them a lesson they won't forget."  Terra let out a small chuckle at the end.

Aqua begin to giggle along with him. It made her heart lighten up just being around him. Also, knowing he is on their side for now on.

However, there one thought came to her mind."But still, that vision you saw." Aqua noted, "I really hope they are just memories from another past."

"I hope so too." Terra stroked her cheek, soothingly.

Even though they are unsure what the future lies ahead, at least they have each other right now. They can face whatever threats that might come to them together this time. No longer they will be apart due to a set up by a fabricated destiny. Also, they have many friends that can fight alongside them.

But for now, they have to wait and see. Hoping the unknown threat does not come too soon. Or maybe, the vision he saw could mean nothing. They're probably are just side effects for being possessed such a long period of time. Only time could tell what will happen next.

Author Notes: Happy Valentines, readers! Thanks you so much for reading this one-shot. I been wanting write this since is based on a theory and headcanon of mine, pulse I added in Terra x Aqua moments because these are so great together. Especially how they are portrayed in the game through dialogues and body movements.

Anyways, after watching cutscene of Kingdom Hearts for many times now. Especially the epilogue that inspired me to write this fic. I always theorize that Terra have some kind of ability to see glimpses of events that is yet to happened. If I remember correctly, in BBS, Terra somehow saw visions of his terrible fate and kinda wish it got explore more often. I theorize is something to do with Luxu's keyblade, the Gazing Eye. What if it given Terra a side effects that ended up giving him that ability to see certain moment through the keyblade's eye. I know it sound crazy, but then again, I do have overactive imagination.

Hope you guys enjoy this fic!

[peachymess]

Hey, just dropping by to ask how life has been lately -- how are you holding up? It seems like you've been kinda better nowadays but I wanna make sure. So how have you been? Is there anything special you wanna talk about, whether it's good or not?

You know... anon. This is probably one of the more heartwarming asks I’ve gotten in a while. Unprovoked, earnest want to hear how the person behind the blog - past SNK - is doing. Like a request to hear more of the “personal” tagged posts I make. That’s just so touching to me. I have the feeling that people who are interested in me, are so at least partially because I have a connection to SNK; that if I dropped out of the fandom, I’d be an instant unfollow (not that there’s anything wrong with that - but there’s something special about feeling like someone cares past their own interests - “forget about SNK, I just wanna hear how you’re doing” JPHA anyone?) So thank you. When I saw this yesterday, I had the instant thought that it was probably from my best friend, and the only reason I cast that idea aside, is because he could just ask me on messenger haha. Anyways! Anon, I will tell you how I’ve been doing! Someone asks me “how are you”, and I’m just jumping right in and replying honestly, haha! (Under the cut, because this will be long; life updates are usually long, ya know)↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓

You’re right, I’m really good! This time, last year, I had just made a suicide pact with myself; I was so exhausted I was done fighting for myself. I said “someone’s gotta help me. But if nobody does, or nothing has changed within the time SNK is over, I’m calling it quits and offing myself”. And I meant it. I’ve had so many hard periods like that, and I’m running out of lives. I thought “next time will be game over”. That pact does NOT still stand. But it did for the better part of 2017. I can’t remember when it changed. Oh, wait, I do: the moment I gave myself the out, I felt so much relief washing over me. Not having to worry about the pathetic failure future I had ahead of me, not having to worry about the education I was too sick to complete, having to acquire a house without the means somehow... All worries about the future were lifted off me. And I had an out. It probably sounds really strange, but as soon as I’d decided to die (unless life worked itself out, aka win-win/good life - escape from bad life), life felt more bearable. I was still having a bad depressive period, so I was still not good, but I guess the pact nullified all the stress and anxiety connected to the future. When I accepted having none at all, anything else started feeling like a pluss once I decided not to die after all. The problem with “someone else has to fight for me”, though, is that apart from my parents (who can’t really do much since this is internal and they aren’t professionals - although boy did they try, bless) nobody did. I mean, I have you guys to love me, but in my every day life, who could fix me? Coincidentally, in this very same time frame, I was suddenly rejected further help from the mental health organ and I just... had no choice but to fight harder than ever just to get the amount of help I’d gotten before. It’s a big messy ordeal that took almost a year to fix. Complaints to file, waiting, more waiting, more stops to visit, etc... Basically, my notion of “being too exhausted to lift another finger for myself” was tested, and thanks to pure outrage, I was able to fight to win my right to help back. I’ve talked about it before so I won’t repeat that stuff. But the fact is, once the heaviest darkness lifted (I have recurring depression, so it just comes and goes in waves) towards the end of 2017, I carried with me an exercised ability to fight that I didn’t have going into the year. And at some point,... I don’t know how, but I was just so strongly set on fighting, fighting, fighting. I think about Armin and how he never stopped moving. He had his moments of weakness, where he thought he had no more to give, but at the end of the day, he’d be further along than when the sun rose. And I was doing the same. Because my roomie was moving at the start of 2018, I had to start thinking of how to move forward as well. I’d grown complacent in the apartment we rented together, but with him, it was too comfortable just to stay in that place mentally and in life. Just in time, I had a rude awakening to the fact that I also depended too much on other people. They were my pillars, and if they crumbled, I didn’t hold on my own. *sigh* Basically, I learned a lot in 2017, and grew a lot. At the very end - thankfully after the depression was over - I had to do a sudden crash course in how to find my own legs to stand on again, and how to close off my heart so it wasn’t so vulnerable. I went through the ice king stage of thinking I’d never let myself care about anyone else again, but I’ve found a good middle ground where I’m able to care about others but also not needing them to care about me back. This is all a long story that I don’t care to tell because it’s trivial, but also still affects me actually. But I grew a lot on it, so I’m thankful for the experience.

The TL;DR of 2017 is that after deciding I was too exhausted to fight anymore, fate forced me to fight harder than ever, and I learned a lot thanks to perfectly timed challenges, ultimately allowing me to enter 2018 a stronger person. The turning point was still the 7th of December: my tattoo. It’s of Armin’s name, for those that didn’t know (I posted it here so just search “tattoo” on my blog if you wanna see). I’d wanted to tattoo his name on my arm for quite some time, but I was scared. Because I knew that if I had his name on my arm, I could never dishonor him by killing myself. Having the tattoo would thus be my official declaration of giving up suicide as an option (ever!). Now, that’s a scary thought to someone who lives off the relief that having an opt out gives... But as time went on, and the warrior spirit had found a home in my heart, I slowly turned from fearing it, to needing it. Eventually, I called my dad and basically said “I need an appointment asap”, and he hooked me up with his tattoo artist friend. The idea came to me when I realized that despite any kind of depression, whenever I thought about Armin, any other feeling would be forgotten for a moment, as I was reminded of the love I feel for him, the motivation he gives me, and so many more good feelings. Thinking about him basically causes an explosion of warm complex joy within my chest. It spreads through my body and I always smile. So my thesis was that if I tattooed his name on my arm, and I hold my phone in my hand 24/7, I’d see his name all throughout the day, every day, and thus my depression would be repelled by this overwrite happiness all! the! time! And, anon? Thesis turned law; it works! It’s gonna be 4 months since the tattoo now, and I’ve only felt suicidal 3 days since then - and although I cal tell my body is ready to head into another depressive period, I’e managed to fight it back 4 times (4 attacks that all lasted about a week, but in the end, I managed to fight it off). It’s like I’m a werewolf, and every once in a while, the full moon is back and I struggle to stay human - and I’m managing, much thanks to a new sigil on my skin, keeping the beast caged. 

Now, it would be a lie to say that the tattoo is the only reason, though: in wake of my change, and with this new intense fighting spirit, I also made a resolution to try something new: refuse to be sad. You know how people say smiling will trick the brain to think you’re happy? It sounds stupid as hell, but I finally decided that you know what?, it doesn't hurt to try. I’m gonna insist that I’m happy, even if my brain says otherwise. Fake it till you make it. And it’s working - a little wavering included, but who isn’t sad from time to time? Because my capacity to do things has been gravely weakened, though, I’m on semi-welfare now, though. It’s a kind of welfare where they haven’t accepted your application for welfare yet and you get like a tiny allowance every other week to live off of instead (not meant for a permanent basis, as it’s not nearly enough - usually given to people who are between jobs for a month or two, just to get by). I don’t have the money to buy a house, but I’ve been moving for so many consecutive years that it’s jeopardizing my mental health so I’m trying something new: I moved back with my parents, and I’m currently trying to figure out what the next step is. I want to get a house somehow, so I have a permanent base to grow off of. I know that will take a lot stress off me to focus my tiny quota of strength on something else (like figuring out what to do about education/work). But since I don’t have the means, I can’t get a regular type of loan. There is a special kind you can get if you’re on welfare, so I’m currently applying for welfare, but to apply, I need to do a lot of tests to show where my ability level lies, but I’m not able to do them so I need to get papers from doctors to confirm that. I had already “proven myself” but then I lost my psychologist, case worker and house doctor all at once, so I have to spend about a year extra to re-prove myself. And then I can apply if they say I can apply, and then I have to wait for a yes or a no, and then work from there... So you see, right now, my fate is in others’ hands. I’m basically in a limbo of waiting, then doing some sort of meeting, then waiting for it to process, so I can meet someone else and wait again. I’m currently waiting for my caseworker to answer to request to meet her so I can ask how my case is coming alone since i haven’t heard from them in over a month... It’s quite... frustrating. But I’m a professional when it comes to dealing with these things, since I’m over a decade deep in this sh-. 

In the meantime, though! I am working hard to keep my mental stability in check! And I’m doing that by setting monthly goals, and starting every day with breakfast and writing down daily goals! It helps me structure my days and I’ve gotten so much done this way! It’s helping me in all sorts of ways! And although I don’t have a lot of material things to boast with, I feel more successful now than I ever have, because I’ve done another huge leap in personal growth and I’m growing more and more apt to tackle life. Just wait. I might not have a lot now, but when we do tally in twenty years from now, I’ll have the earthly goods that my peers have, and a more developed psyche on top of that! I’m on the path to finding true happiness, and that’s so much more important than following the highway to wealth. 

Ah, sorry for how long this got... But yeah... I have a lot of small joys every day that I’d like to share. My journey is really making me happy. But I’m afraid I’m just boring or annoying people. I get the occasional “write what you want” ask, but I can’t shake the feeling anyways. I’m working on getting better at sharing, though. Thank you for giving me the push to write this. Take care, anon!

[feelssogoodinmyarms]

Opinions Needed!!!

Hey guys!! So I’m working on a new fic and I need help. There’s a song called “Son of a Preacher Man” and it was originally sung by Dusty Springfield. A few years ago Tom Goss redid it and donated the proceeds to an LGBT organization. So I’ve become obsessed with the music video (that you can find here) and it really reminded me of Melchior and Moritz. So I started thinking and I kind of hashed out an AU where Melchior is the son of the preacher (even though he hates it and gets into fights with his dad all the time) and some stuff happens. I wrote the first chapter and I don’t really know where to go with it but I wanted some feedback if you’re interested. I haven’t made it exclusively obc or dwsa. It’s set in modern au right now but I can change that. I also wanted to make a prequel eventually with Wendla? I hate her and Melchior together but I think it could be interesting. But right now I’m just focusing on this piece. So please give me your thoughts!! You can message me or leave comments or repost? Idk, just tel me what you think because nobody I know irl is interested in my writing hahaha

Words: 1624

TW: Like two curses I think? Moritz is a little suicidal, Ilse has an abusive home life, internalized homophobia

Moritz Stiefel groaned and rolled out of bed. He hadn’t slept all night. For once, it wasn't because of his “special dreams”. There was homework he had to do, his father was angry at him, the whole weight of the world seemed to rest on his shoulders. He had felt that way most of his life, no matter how much he was told it wasn't true. Moritz was a wreck more often than not. More recently he had started to wonder what the point was. Why did he keep getting up and going to school just to fail at everything? He couldn't do anything right, he heard that a lot from his father and teachers enough. He told it to himself often enough, he didn't need to hear it from them. Thank god for Ilse, she was the only person who emed to care. Ilse was the only person who could convince him he was worth it. For all the shit she had gone through, it was crazy that she stayed so positive. She had to be some kind of angel. He only wished he could do more to help her. Moritz would probably have killed himself by now if it weren't for Ilse.

Today, he had to go to another one of his least-favorite places: church. The older he got the less church made sense. It was just another place that told him how much of a failure he was. He prayed every night, he hoped that life would get better, but it seemed God wasn’t there. It was ridiculous, his dad would probably crucify him if he found out. Church just seemed like another chore.

Moritz looked in the bathroom mirror. He had dark circles under his eyes and his hair was sticking out at ten different angles. Not much different from his normal demeanor.

“Son!!” Moritz heard his father yell from downstairs.

“Yes?” Moritz answered in a groggy voice

“We’re leaving in 10 minutes!! Look decent!!”

“Yes sir” Moritz responded monotonously.

Moritz’s dad was his least favorite person. Moritz couldn’t help but chuckle every time he thought that. How pathetic was it, to have your own father be the person you hate most? Well Ilse must hate her father after all he did to her, but that was different. Mr. Stiefel was just cruel and reasonable. Moritz always seemed to let his father down no matter how hard he tried. After awhile it was just ridiculous to keep trying. Moritz just tried to steer clear of his dad, the less contact hey had the better.

Moritz checked his phone. Two texts from Ilse and one from Ernst.  

Forest Nymph: it’s a nice morning

Forest Nymph: suns really bright wtf

That was Ilse’s way of checking in with him. If she needed to come stay with him because things got out of hand at home she would just climb in through his window. He kept it unlocked for her. With texts like these she was possibly high or just excited about the day.

Fuzzy Boi: yeah it is

Fuzzy Boi: do you want to meet up later?

The text from Ernst was something different. He and Ernst weren’t really friends, more like acquaintances. Not that Ernst wasn’t nice and all, he just had friends and Moritz had virtually none.

Ernst Robel: Good morning Moritz! What are you doing after church today?

Did Ernst Robel really want to hang out with him, Moritz Stiefel? Moritz was just such a loser in his mind, and Ernst was far cooler. No one at school wanted anything to do with Moritz. He really didn’t blame them, but this was strange. Moritz decided to respond.

Moritz Stiefel: Good morning Ernst. I have some homework to finish but that’s it. Why do you ask?

“Son, five minutes!!” Mr. Stiefel yelled form downstairs.

Shit!! Moritz thought as he hastily threw some clothes on.

Moritz sat in the pews with his parents as he waited for the sermon to start. He wished Ilse still came to church, it would be much more fun with her. Moritz willed himself not to doze off. It hadn’t even started and he was already slipping. Someone walked in that perked him up immediately.

“Welcome to God’s house” The preacher said once he had reached the podium.

“Amen” everyone responded. This was the new preacher, he came in the spring. There was a new preacher this year, as Farther [insert german name] had retired last year. The new preacher invited his wife and son to stand with him at the podium.

“My name is Father Gabor, this is my wife and son. We are very honored to be teaching you of God for the next few months”

Father Gabor continues to go on but Moritz wasn’t listening. He was staring at Father Gabor’s son. He looked like he’d rather be anywhere else in the world but here. In fact, he looked so annoyed that he might burst into flames any second. He continually shot his father dirty looks, especially at mentions of god. Moritz wondered why the boy was so angry. Sure, church was boring but it was nothing to get so upset about.

It seemed the anger on his features only made him more handsome. Father Gabor’s son was very handsome, like he was out of a painting or something. Even though he was angry, there was the hint of a smirk on his pink lips. It made Moritz’s heart beat faster than it ever had in church.

After church Moritz found himself walking with Ernst Robel. The two boys were walking back to the Robel house, talking of school and friends and other ordinary things. Moritz tried to focus on what Ernst was saying but he found his mind wandering back to the handsome preacher’s son.

Moritz wished he had gotten to speak to him after the service. The Gabors were talking to various adults and introducing themselves. Father Gabor’s son shook hands with everyone but did not smile. It made him all the more mysterious.

“Moritz? Moritz are you alright?” Ernst asked.

Shit, I zoned out

“Uhm, yeah I’m fine. I was just thinking”

“Was it about the preacher’s son?”

Moritz began coughing.

“H-How did you know?” Moritz asked in disbelief. Ernst giggled.

“I saw you looking at him during the service. He’s pretty cute, I don’t blame you” Moritz felt a blush creep up his neck.

“Why did you want to see me anyway?” Moritz asked.

“A few reasons. Firstly, I noticed you sitting alone at lunch”

Moritz couldn’t help but scoff.

“What?”

“Oh it’s just I’ve been sitting alone ever since I moved here last year. I don’t know why you care all of the sudden”

Ernst looked heart broken. Moritz almost felt bad for him.

“I, uh, guess I didn’t realize until now. How lonely you are I mean” Ernst stared at his shoes as they walked.

“Um, why else?” Moritz asked, desperate to change the subject.

“I was wondering if you’d like to have lunch with me sometime. You don’t have to, it’s just an offer”

“Sure” Moritz responded. This made no sense but if Ernst wanted to be friends, why not?

“Great!! This is my house, I know you had homework to do”

“Right, homework. I guess I’ll see you?”

“Yeah, see you!” Ernst hugged Moritz quickly before running into his house.

Moritz broke into a sprint as he left the town behind. He let his jacket fall off behind him as he entered the forest. He was going to Ilse and his place in the forest to meet. Since the boys and girls went to different schools he only saw her on the weekends. Going to the forest with her was a total escape from everything. Not a total escape, but still an escape, Moritz kept running until he got to the clearing with the stream and the tall tree where he and Ilse always talked.

There she was, right on queue. She was sitting in their tree, staring off in the distance like a forest nymph.

“Ilse!!” He called up. She looked down and smiled when she saw him. She swung down to greet him with a hug. When she pulled away he saw her eyes were puffy.

“Hey, were you crying?” he asked.

“I had a rough morning” she said, trying her best to be chipper.

“What happened?”

“I woke up at four am to screaming coming from downstairs. I just ran and ended up sleeping here”

“In the forest? Why didn’t you come to my place?”

“I didn’t want to wake you up”

“I was up all night, I didn’t sleep. You should have come. You worry me with that shit”

“Next time. Sorry”

“Nah, don’t be”

The two say at the edge of the river and talked.

“So there was a new preacher to church today” Moritz started. 

“Yeah? Is he hot?”

“No but his son is” Moritz blurted out and immediately regretted it. Ilse started laughing. 

“Really? What’s his name?”

“I don’t know” Moritz felt the blush coming back. 

“I ship it!! You should ask him out!!” Ilse squealed. 

“I can’t do that!” Moritz hid his face in his hands. 

“Aww you love him!!”

“Ilse!!” Ilse giggled again.

“It’s cute. I thank you guys would be cute together” 

“I’d just… hate to see how my dad would react” Moritz said with dread. 

“To the fact that you like boys?” Moritz cringed.

“Yeah”

“Who gives a rat’s ass? If he’s not gonna be supportive then screw him. You deserve better”Moritz smiled. 

“Thanks Ilse”

“Don’t mention it”

“You wanna grab lunch?”

“I don’t have any money”

“Pshh, I’m paying” Ilse grinned at that. 

“If you insist” Ilse said as the two walked out of the forest.

[dreamharvestgames]

Dev Blog - June 2017

Justin - Creative Director

Hi lovely readers, I hope you've been enjoying the summer weather we've been having.

This month I've been working on wire-framing our menu and game systems. This is everything that happens outside of matches including our contract system.

What's the Contract system you say? Well, this is something that's very much still in the concept stage, but in theory, it’s a mission system that allows us to deliver both narrative-driven objectives for each of the levels we'll be launching with, training missions for each of the scripts, daily/monthly events and more. It’ll be wrapped up in a cool narrative package that will hopefully envelope you in the world of Failure: NeuroSlicers and your role as an unstoppable Slicer in the NeuroNet.

With this system, we'll be able to give you a constant flow of evolving narrative, cool progression based rewards for completing contracts that allow you to customize your avatar and scripts and allow you to grow your character as you spend more time in the network, but most importantly will allow us to expand on the game even after full release in super interesting ways.

We'll have lots more to share in regard to this system and more down the line, but for the time being, here are some amazing fun to look at wireframes (I promise, they're fun to look at 😊)

Until next month…

PS. Don’t forget to join our Discord Channel if you want to discuss anything about the game with us; we'd love your input.

Sven - CTO / Lead Programmer

Yay, another time to forget what I did last month.

From what I can remember, I mostly focused on porting our game server from C# to Java. In case that seems like a stupid idea to you (because you think C# is much nicer, which I agree) let me elaborate a bit why this was necessary.

First, the original server was never really intended for production use and was mostly a prototype to test the network functionality, so it had to be redone. This open question is why do it in Java instead of C#. There were a few reasons for this:

The rest of the backend systems are already written in Java which was mostly done because a lot of frameworks only exist for Java.

After doing some benchmarks comparing Netty and DotNetty I concluded that Netty was performing a lot better than DotNetty (with the same load Netty used 10% CPU vs. DotNetty which used 25% CPU and quite a bit more ram). While this would, in many cases, this doesn’t really matter that much in most server applications, our game server is meant to handle a lot of concurrent games, therefore, network performance was really important.

<bias> I assume it’s easier to run Java than .net on servers. I should mention here that I worked as a sysadmin for a long time and I’m used to running Java applications. So, I’ve got a lot experience doing that but very little running .net applications. </bias>

To annoy Milcho.

Slightly off-topic: does anyone know a good Raspberry Pi alternative (or some other cheap computer) with a lot more ram (something like 4GB+)? I was trying to find something simple/cheap where I could install the whole server backend + game server for testing and having something we can easily take with us when going to events. If you have any good suggestion contact me on Twitter: @i_gamedev

Milcho - Lead Designer / Gameplay Programmer

Salutations, “I am here, ready to enlighten you, but are you ready to be enlightened?” 

I don’t know why you thought this might be an actual quote, but it definitely isn’t. I make up things all the time. In any case, let’s go over what’s been happening in the gameplay department of Failure for the last month. 

First, we’ve always been planning this massive meta-game on top of the RTS that’s we’re making to add a whole different layer on which you can focus on. The first few weeks of the month involved figuring exactly how that system might work and how it would integrate with our other systems. We got pretty far, but as game development often goes, we’ve put that on holds since it was too awestriking and dangerous for the rest of the team. We’re going to revisit it in a few months and prototype a few versions to get the best out of it. 

The rest of the time I spent thinking about how much I like doughnuts and how to get them in my diet without my dentist going after me with a stick. During that time, I also started prototyping a new and improved resource systems for the game, which was a huge task. We’re talking about changing something that has been fundamental for a game that has been around for almost 3 years and making sure that everything works in the aftermath. The main reasons for this redesign is to reduce the effect of snowballing, making sure that players that are losing a match have a chance to come back from possible defeat, though we also want to make sure that our matches stay within the 5 - 10-minute length. So far, it’s going great though and we’re definitely on the right track. I’ll update you on its progress next month. 

Speaking of next month, I guess that’s when I’ll be talking to you again. Until then, make sure to keep your doughnut intake healthy (whatever that means for you).

Loïc - Art Director / Designer

This month I’ve been focusing on polishing our UI and feedback, along with work on the new deck system.

In term of preproduction, I wrote and sketched concepts for all our nine environments and subsequent levels, tying the specific objectives of each level to the themes of the environment it takes place in. 

These are just quick prototypes of possible levels and are in no way the final look, layout or colour/theme scheme, but this is all part of our process.

Kelvin - VFX Artist / UI Artist

Yo! More UI going on this month! We really had to figure out a type of UI frame/theme to use. We wanted it to be modern, stylized, and minimal. Both Loic and I had to work together, throwing sketches back and forth, to get to the iteration that we are at now.

There were tons of iterations beforehand but we got to this. We've designed a pattern for the background of the frames also that connected organically but with strong and strict lines.

Another exciting thing we added is the notification system! There are times you're focusing on a part of the map and you don't notice your buildings being attacked. DO NOT FRET! I worked with Milcho on this system that will notify you when something is being attacked and which direction it's in! It's extremely helpful and will really help you on your game.

Adding to the notification system, we added a very, very simple change that shows feedback on your units being attacked. When a unit is attacked, it should flash white now. Simple, but awesome 😊

I also worked on an FX this month! Woo! It took a bit to get it right, but once you spend tech, the tech fragment will shatter in this cool flash of glitchiness! It's a very small part of the screen, but it turned out very nice.

Amelie - UX Researcher / Writer

So, what happened on my side since the last time, well, mostly to be honest holidays 😊 I drafted some wireframes for the deck builder and some other menus before leaving and while I was gone Justin polished those and the guys discussed it, made some improvements and I came back only to have to say "Wow that's awesome! Let's put this all in and test it!" So, Georgia was really cool, I encourage everybody who likes mountaineering and good wine to visit, trust the French girl even just the wine is worth it! 

In Georgia every time you drink, someone makes a toast, it's tradition and if it may seem a little funny to us (especially because the toasts can be really long) they take it really seriously. And then, if you drink often I mean, you get used to it and you learn to enjoy it, you know to learn to be grateful for something in your life every day (or 4 times a day depending how much you like their wine...) so here is my toast, despite Creative England really not getting how video games work and putting us in a really shitty position, and our boss being really rather britishly cross you know... the team is still there 😊

Everybody is still super motivated to make a good game, we're not here for the money we're here for the passion of creating an experience that we really hope you will enjoy and remember. So, to passion and to the sleepless nerds in this team who make this game come to life! Cheers bros!

Writing wise I had made a good start on the faction’s motivations and identity, I also worked on our main character background, started to imagine what brought him to become a slicer...

So now that I'm back I have loads of testing to do, and my objective for the next week will be to take the time to read the mountain of level design the team has produced, see how the maps objectives can fit into mission stories and last but not least nail the first version of our intro narrative!

Daniel - Composer

Coffee shops. Who would have thought that the music of Failure NeuroSlicers would sound like coffee shops?

Now, re-read that first sentence in the voice of Christopher Walken and you begin to enter the rabbit hole of strange that I've entered since the last newsletter. While 'the rabbit hole of strange' sounds like a particularly psychedelic category of pornography, I'm in fact referring to a world of sound that surrounds most of us each and every day: the inner workings of our electrical goods.

By using an induction coil pick up (a device similar to the pick-ups on an electric guitar), I've been able to record the electronic signals of just about the entire contents of my house and — to the concern of some patrons — most of my local shops. It transpires that many of our electrical goods are host to wonderful, bizarre and, sometimes, frightening sounds; many of these sounds can be very rhythmical and full of unusual accents and musical phrases. By 'frightening' I don't mean that our devices are low-key telling us to worship Satan, but that they create sounds you wouldn't expect (particularly the payment terminal at my local coffee shop). If you happen to have an induction coil mic and nothing better to do, try recording a PS4 while you turn it off from the system menu — it really is hours of fun for all the family.

By recording all of this information with the coil pick up, I've been able to transcribe the rhythms of some electrical items and assign those rhythms to different musical instruments to create sonic fragments that cross the boundary between natural and man-made — much like the Neuro Net. For some of the less rhythmical recordings, I've been able to alter, distort and pitch the electronic sounds in Pro Tools and create some interesting instruments (my favourite so far is the synth I've created from my beard trimmer). It is this blend of natural and un-natural, of 'above the line' and 'below the line', that will form the music of Failure NeuroSlicers and, sometimes, that will even include the sounds of my local coffee shop.

Until next time.

Bobby - Communications Manager

I'm used to being the behind the scenes guy for Justin and the team and, on occasion, the doting fanboy of Failure: NeuroSlicers as it evolves. Watching the team work, extremely, hard makes you want to try and do more and one of my tasks is to try and identify community opportunities, specific to the game, and connect with a wider audience; not just from game genre perspective, like RTS, but think about the style and story of the world that will pull fans from all areas of the gaming community to keep them up to date with what's going on within the game.

I'm hoping those already reading this will be subscribed to all our various communication channels, i.e. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and our newsletter but sometimes these can be dependent on, you, the community to scroll by it in your news feed, which, if you're like me subscribe to a lot of feeds, and will sometimes miss content as it becomes, what I like to dub, a complacent channel we go into autopilot when using.

How to prioritise communication channels? It's a daily thought for me. How many users are subscribed to each channel, what to publish to first can be difficult as it's a changing landscape but recently Discord is becoming more and more popular with the gaming community because of its real-time forum nature. The younger generation these days, the millennials, are used to instant messaging, they don't want to wait for emails or a post reply, they want to know someone is on the other end of the window ready to engage and that's why we're going to start pushing a ton of content there on a daily basis.

It's a great platform with so much control, not only with chat but voice too. We get asked about Alpha testing all the time and one of our recent meetings play testing came up. As you can imagine we're a small team and everyone getting time together across multiple time zones can be tricky so if it's something you'd love to get involved with please come and join our Discord group. We'll be approaching active users who really want to get their hands on an early alpha build, help playtest and provide valuable feedback to continue to evolve the game leading up to its release.

Also, share, it's so important to us we get the game out there and you're all instrumental in helping us do that.