#oracle project makes me sad :(

[messageiost]

Top 5 SCARY videos to watch while DRAWING!!!!

The editor crashed while typing this out i have to do it again. 1. THE FINAL MINUTES ZOMBIE PLAGUE Part Two: Aftermath 2. The Infection 3. The Tangi Virus 4. The Oracle Project (Sequel 2 Tangi Virus)

5. Absolute Zero

2 and 5 are pretty nostalgic for me. Dewpoint makes some BANGER eas stuff, absolute zero is alright but it was my shit back then.

theres probably more but none i can remember now

[punkpandapatrixk]

❤️‍🩹Finding Love ☆ Timeless Tarot Guidance

Elements/Signs in this reading are calibrated to all aenergetic placements. Feel free to read as many Elements/Signs as you feel called to at this point in your spiritual evolution♡

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

You want to see how a nation falls? First, make sure every family unit is fucked. The foundation of the beginning of a ruined society is a dysfunctional family unit. A household that is lacking warmth and affection is a breeding house for psychopaths…or sure-victims of them. How is this not obvious to everybody? Well, in our case, I guess the Boomerangs just didn’t care…enough?

An entire generation of selfish psychopaths preoccupied with order and rules, obsessed with the idea of a ‘perfect image’ even at the cost of the authenticity of their children’s Souls. Tell me if they ain’t breeding new generations of psychopaths? But…who fucked the Boomerangs in the first place? And who had fucked the generation that fucked the Boomerangs? 考えきれない。There’s no end to thinking about it. But!

Not all hope is lost. For we have us—OURSELVES! You, who are reading this, who are blessed with this peculiarly RARE thing in the world: self-awareness. That you’re curious about the roots of your sorrow; that you’re trying to be better; that you’re willing to face your own demons so you grow in character, all because you care enough not to perpetuate the cycle.

There is Hope is us. In people like you and I. For this spiritual work alone, you are going to be blessed with the utmost beautiful Love, first, by finding it inside of yourself~

☆♪°・. aenergetic companion PAC ☆♪°・.

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☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Finding Love for 🐞Fire Signs - Silver Alchemist (Ramon Llull)

5 of Cups, Queen of Wands, XIX The Sun

You know, Fire Signs are passionate. So passionate they often get way too invested in whatever matters to them. That’s why when betrayal or any other kind of a fallout happens, they find it so difficult to calm down, let alone move on from. I want you to know this isn’t a failure of your character or anything like it, not necessarily, no. You care. And that’s a wonderful thing. And it genuinely, usually, takes A LOT to finally get a Fire Sign to stop caring.

That’s the one thing about you: PASSION. Within the context of this reading, could it be that you’ve been putting your passion on the wrong things, the wrong people? Because you’re not a quitter, right? Maybe you’ve had this tendency of wanting to make sure things work out; after all, you’ve invested so much into this thing, project, people, whatever. Not quitting on the wrong things will only drain you of high-vibrational, positive spiritual aenergy left in you, babe. Then…frustrations and sadness are just going to drain you of more physical energy.

Low energy also makes people irritable, unmotivated and non-optimistic, right? Let not the harshness of your connections with people dim your natural brightness. What’s really important to figure out now is how you can shift your focus on being passionate about things, places, work, and people that truly, truly, bring joy and sunshine into your Life~

'Daughter. Spend your life Loving. Not seeking Love. Ocean need not seek water.' – Dr Jaiya John

Oracle Guidance for Fire Signs🔻❤️

🐏Aries – Priestess of Fortune

🦁Leo – Priestess of Integrity

🎠Sagittarius – Priestess of Opulence

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Finding Love for 🐍Earth Signs - Silver Magus (Merlin)

XV The Devil Rx, 7 of Cups Rx, VI The Lovers Rx

I tend to think that Earth and Water Signs are the TRUE psychopaths of the zodiac LMAO Underdeveloped Taurus, Virgo and Caps are so incredibly selfish and self-centred that they make human interactions such a misery business. And due to the nature of their Earthy-ness—meaning they can be quite hard to shake—Earth Signs can be quite bigoted about certain viewpoints they hold. Within the context of this reading, Earth Signs literally make a hell out of their very own existence through their inability to connect human-to-human with other…humans.

Or is it really an inability? Is it not simply a refusal? An Earth Sign must ponder this upon itself. Maybe you’ve been in refusal to be more empathetic because it is paramount to be empirical in any situation? Perhaps you’re the type of person that values objectivity above all forms of subjectivity? But the Human experience is subjective. Approaching all types of human connection with an eye of business or with the mind of an objective researcher will only hinder your capacity for real empathy.

The Human experience is an empathetic experience. People feel things and sometimes those feelings are heavy and burdensome and they get the better of us—that’s just the reality of being alive XD If you could give yourself the grace of a more subjective point of view when viewing yourself and the many experiences you go through, then maybe it will be that much easier to notice how other people also base their decisions for forming connections through a very subjective lens—and you will see that being this way creates a more true bond between people.

Does all this sound too subversive for logical Earth Signs? XD

The Problem With Being Too Logical in Love by The School of Life

Oracle Guidance for Earth Signs🔻💚

🐂Taurus – Priestess of Luck

🧘🏻‍♀️Virgo – Priestess of Magick

🐐Capricorn – Priestess of Clarity

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Finding Love for ⛲Air Signs - Red Alchemist (John Dee)

XVII The Star, Ace of Cups, 3 of Cups Rx

The Star is associated with Aquarius, right? Whoa, the epitome of Human intelligence :D Air Signs are intelligent and very interested in people—in human relations and understanding what makes people tick. That’s why Air Signs make the best friends and confidants…as long as they don’t run their mouths hahah Now that is a matter of character. What kind of person are you in your friend group(s)? Do you play different characters in different groups? Sounds like a lot of fun XD

Air Signs do tend to have (or belong to) different groups of people depending on function. It’s very interesting. Air Signs can be the glue that connects different groups of people who, without Air Sign, would never have come into contact with one another. Gemini is the fun-loving funny member of a group. Libra is a charming diplomat who’s considerate towards everybody. Aquarius is the pioneering CEO who gets everybody working towards a goal. Ideally, well-developed Air Signs would be these things :D

You should really value this unique intelligence of yours that has the power to eradicate all crazy unreasonable differences in the world, you know. You of all people, I’m very certain, have this keen ability to get to the roots of everybody’s mental problems. After all, you are mental. Air Signs usually don’t get a lot of credits for being empathetic or whatever and that’s true for the most part. But what you do have is this INTEREST in people, and that’s good enough for starters XD It makes you a good person, you know.

Literally, you’re the type that can make friends with just about anybody. You are polite and charming—and those with Venus here are often very beautiful, too!

Oracle Guidance for Air Signs🔻💙

👯Gemini – Priestess of Healing

⚖️Libra – Priestess of Ritual

🏺Aquarius – Priestess of Abundance

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Finding Love for 🐝Water Signs - Green Astronomer (Nicolaus Copernicus)

VII The Chariot, 3 of Swords, Queen of Cups Rx

Hey, what is your Truth? What experiences and emotions have shaped the being that you are today? Do you know for sure? Have you analysed all the feelings you’ve ever struggled with, as well as those that make you realise, Life truly is worthwhile? It’s those moments you’re reminded of what’s good about your Life that you feel gratitude, isn’t it so? Alongside nostalgia and the desire to return to a much simpler time. Time when feelings were a lot easier to process, perhaps. But Life, and this world, needs to keep going on as per Universal Mandate.

What’s left in the past can still be regenerated in the future and it can get even better, too—now that you’ve grown up. Now that you’ve healed a little, or a lot. Heartbreaks with Water Signs always heal when we return to the pool of our authenticity, located deep in the core of our being. Therein lies the tears and the beauty that make you such a deeply compelling character to converse with. If Humans aren’t ready to listen to your truths, write about them; turn emotions into songs or poetry or painting; what have you. Water needs to flow somewhere. Nourishing a lot of life from there.

Water Signs, are Love. Nurturer of Life and nourisher of Human emotions. You should really appreciate the poetry of your sheer existence. So, don’t let this world convince you that there’s something wrong with you because you’re sensitive enough to care about a lot. That’s your strength. It just needs to be directed and redirected to the right things/occasions/people and places. Be generous with your Love and compassion, but take no shit from those who can’t learn to be grateful for a Love as rare and precious as yours~ Know your worth, babe. You’re worth a gazillion dimes.

Oracle Guidance for Water Signs🔻💛

🦀Cancer – Priestess of Enchantment

🦂Scorpio – Priestess of Patience

🎏Pisces – Priestess of Prosperity

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

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[bagopucks]

A. Matthews - Needs Approval

✄————————————

Auston Matthews x Reader

Requested✨

Word count: 3.4k

Warning(s): itty bitty happy crying

Proofread once

—————————————

“Alright. We have plans.”

Spontaneity was not something I knew Auston for. So when he came through my front door with these ‘plans’, I had to refrain from looking too surprised.

“Auston, you can’t just blow through here unexpectedly, trying to take me out. I have a kid-“

“No, that’s who I’m looking for.”

My face lit up in shock and slight amusement.

“Sad is the day a woman is outshined by her son. To the man of her dreams, I have become but a mere oracle to consult.”

“Okay, Shakespeare.” Auston smiled, walking over to help me pick up Hudson’s few toys scattered across the floor.

“What are these plans?” I asked, watching him sit next to me.

“I was gonna take him to see that new kids movie.”

“Is there a reason I can’t go? I mean- I’m all for the bonding, but.. I’m a little surprised there’s no invite.”

“Well.. ya know I just thought,” Auston shrugged, “give you a night to yourself. Maybe you could call one of your friends, or- you could always go to my place and hang with Felix. Whatever you want.” I couldn’t quite tell what he was hiding, but I knew it was something. Auston didn’t like to make eye contact when he was avoiding a topic.

“You know I go stir crazy when you boys aren’t around.” I teased, gently nudging his leg with my foot.

“I promise I’ll invite you to the next movie outing.”

“Alright. He’s coming home from a friend’s house. They were working on a project.”

“What kind of project?” Auston glanced up at me before setting another toy into the tub Hudson had designated to his action figures.

“A science project. Creating your own habitat. He and his friend are doing something Arctic with penguins and polar bears.” I smiled, recalling the creativity Hudson had been blessed with. He had so many materials he wanted to use, and so many great ideas.

“He asked me if you could get him a little plush of Carlton so they could set it up in the hall by their habitat.”

“Sounds cool. I’ll definitely get one when I can.”

“By next week.” I was quick to add. “They’ll need it by Friday. That’s when the project is due.”

“I feel like two weeks is a long time for a project like that.”

“Not all kids can be as smart as the one we’ve been raising together.” I didn’t miss the way Auston’s eyes lit up. Then a sheepish smile took over his lips.

“That makes us sound like bad people.” He commented.

“But not bad parents.” I would never tell another person that my child was smarter than theirs, nor did I ever feel as such. I was aware all kids grew and learned at their own pace. But at times it was nice to admit that Hudson was such a curious and driven child, always eager to learn. It was nice to admit Auston and I were shaping a pretty successful child.

“So we’re parents now?”

“Auston, you’ve been here long enough. I’m not ignoring what’s in front of my face. You’re a father to Hudson. You know what he told me the other night?” Auston stopped what he was doing to focus on me. “He told me he wished you didn’t have to bring clothes over all the time. That you could just stay here and be with us every day.” I smiled and tossed another toy into a smaller bucket. “He also said he really loves your house. He said he loves when you have sleepovers there, because he can swim and have ice cream all day.”

“I feed him other stuff!” Auston laughed, shaking his head. “That kid. I promise I feed him other stuff.”

“I’m not too worried about it.” I admitted with a shrug, reaching for another toy. I glanced up at Auston, watched the way his eyes went blank, staring me down. I didn’t ask. Usually he spoke his mind. So I waited, going back to tossing toys in the bucket.

“Do you want me here?”

“You’ll have to explain a little.”

“If we ever move in together. Do you want me like- in this house with you, or do you want to live with me? Or we could get our own place.”

“Change is gonna be a little hard no matter what we do. But I think what’s best is searching for a new home together. Something that’s ours equally. I want a new house, with new memories. Unless that’s too expensive.”

“No, I totally understand. And nothing’s too expensive.”

“We’ll buy a place we agree on. And as much as I love the modern touch of your house, I still want something that feels like a home.”

“Whatever you and Hudson want.”

“I’ll let you have a man cave.” I teased, smiling at his quiet laugh. We had time to discuss it. We were in no rush. We had just only started talking of marriage a month ago. We actually had to get married before anything else. At least that was the next step Auston and I agreed on.

“Do you want any more kids?”

“Are you kidding?” I laughed, resting my hand on the floor to support my weight. “Every time I see you with Hudson I think I want another kid.”

“But after the change?” Auston asked.

“Yes.” I picked up the last action figure and set it in the small bucket. A small test. I knew Auston would pass it before his hand even reached into the bucket to remove the figure, tossing it into the bigger one. “I want Hudson to feel comfortable in a new place, and feel secure before we go making any additions.” I watched a brown curl fall out of place. “It’s important that he feels like your kid before we have any others. The last thing I’d want is for him to feel like you’ll love him any less.”

“I could never. He’d be my kid just as much as the others.” Auston slowly leaned back to lay on the floor. I made my way over to lay with him, resting my head on his chest.

“Others plural?”

“At least three.”

“Three between us?” I gasped.

“No! No. Like- Hudson, and then two others.”

“Why three?”

“‘Cause kids that grow up in families with just one sibling- they end up weird.”

“What?”

“My first example is Mitch.”

“Auston!” I scolded through soft laughter. “He’s not weird.”

“He’s pretty weird.” Auston chuckled, warming my heart with the way his body moved beneath me. I lifted my hand to check the time on my watch. A sigh fell from my lips. We’d only just laid down, and already we had to get up.

“You wanna come stand with me on the porch? Hudson’s gonna be here soon.”

“Boy do I.” Though Auston’s words were teasing, I knew he was excited. I stood up and helped him off the ground. I walked toward the door and unlocked it while I put my slippers on. Pulling the door open, I walked out onto the porch, Auston close behind.

“What time do you think you’ll be getting back?” I asked as I pulled the door shut.

“Probably around eight? If thats not too late.”

“Eight is just fine. Maybe hold off on the sweets though if you get movie snacks.”

“What do you mean if? You always get movie snacks.” I laughed at Auston’s argument.

“The popcorn is pretty good.”

“And the little chocolate crunchy things.”

“The Buncha Crunches?”

“Yeah, those.” Auston nodded. I leaned against the porch rail, and Auston mirrored my stance next to me.

“He’s gonna be so excited to see you.”

“Oh, quit that.” Auston bumped his hip against my own.

“You don’t understand how much he loves you. Or how much he misses you. When you’re on road trips. And how scared he gets when he thinks you’re hurt.”

“I’m always a call away.”

“Yeah I know. I just hate not knowing your schedule when you’re in another city.”

“Shoot me a text.” Auston rested his hand atop my own. “You’re a first priority. I’ll always text you back fast.”

Our conversation was cut off as a car pulled into the drive. The back window rolled down as Hudson hopped out with his book bag. His friend waved and shouted goodbye.

“Thanks for the ride Mrs. Haleigh!” Hudson bounced up the driveway, but the second he turned in our direction, his speed picked up. I waved to Haleigh before she pulled out of my driveway and left.

“Auston!” He climbed up the porch steps and dropped his bag.

“You mind if I steal ya for a bit tonight?” Auston asked, holding his hand out for their elaborate handshake.

“Did you ask mom?”

“Of course I did.”

“Can I put my stuff inside?”

“I’ll get it.” I answered quietly, laughing. “I’ll take a hug first before you leave.” I added quickly. Hudson was swift to spin around and hug my legs. “Be safe. And listen to Auston.”

“I always do.”

“I’m serious.” I pulled away to grab his bag from the floor.

“I’ll see you boys later.” Hudson was already jogging down the stairs by the time I turned to Auston. I rested my hand beneath his chin and guided his lips to my own. “I love you.” I whispered.

“I love you too.” Auston smiled, pressing another quick kiss to my lips. Hudson had never been one of those kids to gag or groan. He usually just smiled or looked away. I had no doubt it was because of his happiness. He didn’t grow up for five years with a proper example of love. He was content with knowing love provided happiness. With understanding that we had a good situation.

“Ready, Hudson?” Auston finally followed the kid down the steps.

“Yes!”

I gave one last wave before they left. When the silence set in, I felt both at ease and antsy. I decided to slip back inside to find something to busy myself with.

——————

“So what snacks do you want?”

“Can we get gummies?”

“I’m cool with that. What about slushees?”

“Oh! Blue!”

Auston followed and enforced every rule you did. Almost every rule. When it came to movies, he didn’t give Hudson a sugar limit other than what would make the kid sick. And when it came to hockey, Auston told Hudson sometimes cursing was appropriate. Hudson however, was keen on saying words and phrases you told him never to say. Like “stupid” and “jerk.” Hudson knew of curse words, but they weren’t well rounded in his vocabulary yet.

“Did you get that?” Auston asked the woman behind the counter, who smiled and nodded.

“Cute kid.” She complimented.

“He’s my girlfriend’s.” Auston used to love the attention in Toronto. Girls always managed to find him, speak to him, contact him. It brought a lot of confidence, and worked wonders on his ego. If he was honest with himself, Auston didn’t know what he was getting into when he first met Hudson. Auston always said he wasn’t opposed to meeting somebody, he just never found the right person. Turns out his right person was actually two people. Now he only needed one love to make him feel like a million bucks. And the admiration of the kid standing next to him, trying to gnaw open a bag of gummy worms.

“You think mom’s okay on her own?” Hudson asked after Auston had paid, and they were handed the rest of their snacks.

“I think she’s doing just fine.”

“How’s come you didn’t invite her?” Auston led the kid toward the theatre corridor.

“‘Cause I just wanted to have a fun night with you.”

“You always invite mom.” Auston sighed, glancing down at Hudson.

“I have a really important question for you.”

“How important?”

Auston had to pause, thinking of a good comparison.

“Like.. Stanley Cup important.” He found amusement in the way Hudson immediately looked up at him, wide eyed.

“Dude…” Hudson whispered. “That’s pretty important.”

“I know.”

“Why do you need to ask me?”

“Because right now, you’re kinda like.. the keeper of the cup.”

“That’s cool. What does he do?”

“He protects the cup. Makes sure it doesn’t get any scratches. Travels everywhere with it, and keeps an eye on it.”

“Well that sounds like a pretty boring job.”

“Yeah, but its important.” Auston paused as he pulled the door to their theatre open.

“So what are you asking me?”

“Well I can’t tell you right now.” Hudson groaned as he walked up the isle into the theatre, Auston following close behind.

“Why do I have to wait?”

“I wasn’t gonna bring it up until after we watched the movie.” Auston reasoned as he helped Hudson find their seats. Hudson’s silence was a bit out of character, but Auston let it slide. Once they got comfortable, Hudson turned to him.

“Nobody’s ever told me I’m as important as the guy who watches the Stanley Cup.” He admitted softly.

“Well I’m glad I got to be the first.” Auston smirked, reaching for the extra straw he’d stuffed in his pocket.

“What’s that for?” Hudson asked, watching as Auston peeled the wrapper off and crumbled it up. They made brief eye contact before Auston stuck the straw in Hudson’s slushee and took a sip.

“Hey!” Hudson laughed quietly, and soon Auston was laughing too. “That’s not fair!”

“Yeah, we’ll I paid for it, pal.”

“You’re mean,” Hudson teased as he swatted the bill of Auston’s hat.

“I only do it cause I love ya.” The words left Auston’s lips before he could really think of them. He looked away almost immediately, holding his breath and trying to act natural. A kid can smell panic from a mile away. But instead of Hudson asking any more questions, or teasing, he let out a big old sigh and looked forward as well. Auston saw him smile from the corner of his eye. Then he felt a small hand rest on his arm.

“I love you too.” Auston could hardly contain his smile, and he was still grinning like an idiot as soon as the movie began.

The boys sat quietly through the movie, though admittedly Auston missed most of it, replaying the quiet moment he shared with Hudson over and over again in his head. He’d worked hard to earn Hudson’s respect and acceptance. He worked hard to fill a role he knew he hadn’t been prepared for.

When the movie ended, Auston knew he’d have no trouble asking Hudson his important question.

“That was such a cool movie.” Hudson beamed as the credits began to roll. Auston helped him gather their trash before they left the theatre and threw everything away.

“Thanks for taking me out, Auston!” Hudson skipped along the tile floor in the lobby, careful not to step on any cracks. Auston laughed at his excitement. The kid was all hopped up on sugar.

“Hold up, Buddy.” Auston immediately reached for Hudson’s hand when the boy made it to the door. Hudson high fived Auston before pushing the door open.

“No, Hudsy. It’s a dark parking lot. Hold my hand.” Auston’s amused laughter was met with a bashful smile from Hudson, who slipped his hand into Auston’s. They were careful when walking across the parking lot, and Auston opened the front door for Hudson.

“My car seat’s in the back.” Hudson reminded.

“We have to talk first, little dude.”

“Oh! Oh yeah.” Hudson climbed up into the front seat, before Auston walked around the car to join him on the other side. He pulled his door shut and turned the vehicle on.

“So, this big question.”

“Yes.” Hudson pulled his legs up onto the seat to fold them up, turning to face Auston.

“You ready for it?” Despite his certainty that he’d get a yes, Auston still felt nervous.

“Yes!” Hudson insisted.

“Alright.. I want you to be honest with me. Like completely honest. Okay?”

“Just ask, Auston.” Hudson urged. His impatience got the best of him.

“Is it okay if I marry your mom?”

There was a beat of silence. Hudson taking time to process the question, while his wide eyes studied Auston’s face.

“You wanna marry my mom.” Hudson repeated.

“Yeah? I really love her, Aus. And I love you. I’d love to join your little family.” Auston fidgeted with his own hands, occasionally glancing down to avoid the steady gaze from the kid across the console.

“So you mean like.. I’m gonna have a dad? Like a real dad?” Auston immediately looked up.

“Of course, Hudson. That’s what I’ve been trying to do.”

“I’m gonna have a dad.” Hudson’s features shifted from excitement to shock, then he couldn’t sit still. His hands pulled at the fabric of his pants, seemingly distressed as tears clouded his vision.

“Hudson?” Auston immediately reached across the car to rest a hand on the boy’s arm. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m gonna have a dad.” Hudson cried out, the tears spilling down his cheeks. Years of confusion and grief, always feeling like he was missing out on something. It was finally coming to an end. Hudson’s mind could only focus on one thing. Having a second parent.

“Buddy, come here.” Auston gently guided Hudson forward. The kid practically climbed over the console and right into Auston’s lap, wrapping his arms around the man’s shoulders to sob against his collar. Auston held onto Hudson like his whole life depended on it. The situation choked him up, but he kept a brave face. At least he thought he did, until he felt a few tears of his own sliding down his cheeks.

“Hudson,” Auston forced the word from his lips. He knew Hudson would be happy eventually, but the pain had to come first. Kids were too young to completely understand their emotions. Hudson’s tears came from fear and relief. Relief of knowing the wait was over, and fear of not understanding why that made him want to cry. He just needed to let it out. Auston learned he was pretty good at sitting and waiting for that.

“I gotcha, Hudson. You wanna take a few breaths for me?” He felt Hudson’s choppy breathing stop for only a moment before it started again. He was listening.

“Those were pretty bad breaths, dude.” Auston teased softly, sniffing quietly, a quiet quivering laugh falling from his lips.

“Shut up.” Hudson pouted, his voice broke as he spoke. He gently punched Auston’s shoulder.

“You wanna try that again?” Auston moved one of his hands from Hudson’s back to reach for the hand that hit his shoulder. Hudson only tightened his grip.

“I just-“ he hiccuped. “I just wanna hug a little bit longer.” He whispered.

“You got it.” Auston nodded, wrapping his arm back around Hudson.

At some point, Hudson’s legs grew tired, and his grip on Auston finally loosened. So, the hockey player took his chance to help Hudson lean back, a smile on his lips as he pulled the sleeve of his sweatshirt over his palm.

“You okay now?” Auston asked as he wiped Hudson’s face with his sleeve. Hudson managed a smile and nodded.

“I’m really happy.” Hudson finally admitted, though his voice sounded as though another round of tears were close behind.

“You can’t tell your mom, okay? You’re gonna help me with everything, but you can’t tell her.”

“I can do that. I won’t tell anybody.” Hudson spoke as he stood on the seat between Auston’s legs, leaning back against the steering wheel.

“Betcha didn’t expect me to ask that kinda question tonight. Did ya?”

“That’s bigger than the Stanley Cup.” Hudson giggled quietly, still sniffling as he rubbed at his face.

“I know. That’s why I had to ask your permission. You and your mom mean the world to me. I wanted to make sure you were okay with it first.”

“It’s okay with me.” Hudson clarified, as if he needed to. “You can marry my mom.”

“You know.. as her son, you’ll get the third piece of cake in the wedding.”

“Who gets the first and second?”

“Me and your mom.” Auston helped Hudson back across to the passenger seat.

“You’ll share a little bit with me though.. won’t you?” Hudson’s question made Auston scoff out a laugh.

“We’ll talk about it more when the time comes.”

✾❀✾❀✾❀✾❀✾❀✾❀✾❀✾

[risingsuntarot]

1--2

3

What are you currently not seeing ?

My lord I'm so sorry I've been gone for so long I kinda jus felt so unmotivated and kinda went hermit mode for quite a while so I apologize for my absence!! Anyways I wanted to make a come back with a reading regarding being trapped, blinded or stuck on something that is unfortunately, hindering your process ;+(

Also * will indicate a reversal from here on out also only three piles because I wanted to get this out ASAP !!

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-

Pile 1

---Cards pulled---

5 of Coins/4 of Wands*/The magician

3 of coins*/The Moon

---Clarification---

9 of coins/9 of Swords/The hierophant

Ace of wands/3 of wands

There is most likely a financial or material issue happening, I heard "just enough to get by"

It looks like you lack in what you currently need as well? But despite this you are content or try to come off that way

Maybe you just moved into your own apartment recently? Or now have to pay rent or something along those lines

A new responsibility within your family/home life too

There's a lack of confidence here especially within self and home life

Something or someone in your home isn't making you feel quite safe? Or you get nightmares about them (if this is the case please seek help!!) that might be a very specific message BUT Could also be ready as you may be dealing with flashbacks at this time due to financial or material loss !! Maybe you grew up in poverty or an unstable home? Or your parents/caregivers weren't able to provide necessities?

It looks like with the magician and the hierophant there is a gift on the horizon or a very promising belief or like system? Maybe a change in routine or spending habits and thinking will help tremendously

I see that on your end for some your guides are frustrated with your lack of effort and motivation to make your thousands of ideas a reality

They absolutely love your creativity tho don't get me wrong

Maybe you have a hard time focusing right now and have many great ideas to put into place but lack motivation or resources as well so this leads to lack of movement or commitment

Sadness, restless emotions and late sleepless nights are prominent here, someone may deal with insomnia here but y'all sleep schedule is wack (same tho)

Feeling blocked and frustrated >:+(

---ORACLE/ADVICE---

Summer - "Bask in Joy and Light"

"Rise up, open your wings and shine. Bring your projects and plans into into the light, into manifestation" as soon as I opened the guidebook lil

DEADASS do that's just that, start off easy with a lobes hobby, draw something new or listen to a new genre, learn that new music sheet that has been challenging you or even get into a new type of skill to re motivate you !!

This also indicates summer may be your time of change!! New opportunities, new memories maybe even knew people

I feel like this is the perfect time to go outside, bask in sunlight and enjoy a nearby park or go on a nature hike, try meeting new people at libraries, bars or events even book clubs?

I'm getting a message to connect more with water so swimming or maybe even kayaking?

The big message here is try something n e w but I'm also being told to "loosen up" I'm tensing up a lot with this reading

Bumble bees maybe significant to someone :+) or honeycombs cereal? Lmao honey and bee related things here

---Channeled Songs---

Ego brain - SOAD

"You see my pain is real

Watch my world dissolve

And pretend that none of us see the fall

As I turned to sand

You took me by the hand

And declared, that love prevails over all"

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-

Pile 2

---Cards pulled---

Temperance/9 of Wands/Ace of cups*

Knight of Coins/6 of Wands

---Clarification---

5 of Coins/The Lovers*/8 of Coins

The Moon/Queen of Wands

Okay so there's a sense for reluctance from this pile tbh like to fully acknowledge the truth

I keep wanting to say what happened so you may be being asked this question a lot

For one there is guilt over either healing and moving on or from not healing and moving on from a difficult situation but for most it's a romantic connection

I feel like voices were silenced, and you were constantly fighting for you right to be heard, seen or acknowledged fairly

It was a toxic dynamic that you still look back on to this day but almost feel indifferent but it seems it's just suppressed emotions and memories that you have yet to actually acknowledge

You seem to be a BIT too logical with what happened, like everything was supposed to be this way even this you didn't at all anticipate it if that makes sense

Like you knew what it was exactly, no bs and people tried convincing you otherwise

It looks like someone may come to you to talk about what happened although you may be reluctant to actually open up and speak on your side or even acknowledge that it hurts

It's like you go on about your day with a heavy rain cloud over your head and this person can see :+(

it maybe a friend to help you through this for some possibly offering you a type of hype sesh or even help you glow up a bit even if it's confidence lol

---ORACLE/ADVICE---

Wolf- "Take care of your needs"

I feel like you definitely need rest here, this card says "Do everything you need to do to be at your best, Then move beyond your fears and limitations"

it feels like a state of I can FINALLY get some rest from running and running and running

You've been in survival mode for so long or you just genuinely feel exhausted from the expectations around you or the trauma in your past

Know that's it's okay to just chill out and it's okay to be on your own for a while it's all part of the process, in fact I believe your guides are asking you to spend time with yourself more

Self care and YouTube days are recommend :+))

---Channeled Songs---

Around the fur - Deftones

"Please don't fuck around and die like this

'Cause I love her"

Brand new numb - Motionless in white

"All of my flaws, I wear 'em with honor

A purple heartbreak for all we've suffered"

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-

Pile 3

---Cards pulled---

The Hierophant*/King of cups/4 of Swords

Wheel of fortune/5 of wands*

---Clarification---

Ace of Swords*/5 of Swords/Queen of Coins

The Hermit*/Queen of Cups

This may be a more masculine in terms of energy for this pile but I'll still read the same

So it seems there was a hypocrisy or an act that went against your morals and you were quick to act and deliver your opinion... "sharply"

You stood your ground and what you believed in in your heart despite the haters lol, and despite the arguments or how many people you had to leave behind something about conflict here

Although the way you did this was quite nonchalantly and someone was not a fan I'm picking up on black hair and green for the description for some reason

This person tends to be the center of attention? Or is very attractive, or maybe even a bit out of place almost ? But you not caring is pissing them off

I see there's gonna be change to the situation but someone may have to trail off onto their own path :+( a bit shunned almost but it's a high probability it's this other person

It's possible someone with the same morals and values as you is helping the conflict "die out" but not caring or almost standing in solidarity

---ORACLE/ADVICE---

High Priest - "Intend and Create"

"Recognize you have the power to change you life. Face your fear and align with the light"

Kind of a plain message but with this card I am getting that you can literally move anyway you want with this and just move on

It seems your intentions were nothing but pure in the end so no Karma was ever delivered to you

How unfortunate for the other person :+pp

It also seems some may follow in your path a bit here but spirits asking you to reach out to someone like a teacher for further guidance if you feel stuck

---Channeled Songs---

Riptide - Grandson

"I've tried getting better, did all of the twelve steps

Whoever would'a thought? Whoever could've guessed?"

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-

[mysteriouslytransparentwitch]

energy de meghan markle 23 march 2024 with tarot & oracle

ok, meghan's energy, she was in a mood, the brf is behind me, I can devote myself to my projects and to my communication and my balance and to make money with this new project.

All the stories with Catherine has just blocked certain things, she must review her strategy, she is afraid because Catherine even if she lives in the UK, she has a lot of influence on Harry and see that today Catherine's state influences to Harry, she's a little scared.

finances are stable (they are not extraordinary but not serious either) there is a choice to make but here we want more time to better see the situation in relation to a project that is close to our hearts.

She tries to master time, she is really in times with the BRF there is no link (the map of the path of time and the world is reversed)

she hopes to attract something from contracts, something new.

with the tarot cards: the Windsor family with the 10 deniers is once again at the heart of the news, which brings them a lot of doubt and isolation because they are trying to find their way but the BRF is coming back in force even with this sad news , she is in her corner far from the light. She finds it unfair, she feels poor! because there is always this emeratrice, this queen of coins = Catherine who can come and cut everything off by the presence or the non-presence!

there is something we want to put in place (communication, writing, an announcement?) we hope to receive funds but there are losses here. Harry thinks of Catherine and it makes Meghan sad (she will never win)

she hopes to cut all that out and move on emotionally and get her career back on track. The rebirth of the couple Meghan and Harry falters again because of Catherine

[starrycrystals]

Here are some personal takeaways and analysis after watching episodes 1 & 2 of Disney's Percy Jackson series. I've made a previous post discussing the series here.

------SPOILERS for EPISODES 1&2 of Disney's PERCY JACKSON--------

First of all, the acting was bad and seemed restrictive and expressionless BUT that's probably because the director decided to take this approach (which I hate)

Actors I've liked so far are: Grover's, Clarisse's, Annabeth's (although we've hardly seen her so far) and of course Jason Mantzoukas. That's right not Walker, which is just disappointing. I've seen him in other projects and he does an alright job, this just confirms my suspicion that the actors are not bad they just have to work with a bad script and direction. Even Mantzoukas' acting seemed restrained at some points, truly a shame.

The pacing is bad and the editing between scenes seems a little choppy.

Some camera angles are so wide and static that they took me out of the story even in emotional scenes.

All of these choices (and some involving the writing which I'm gonna get to in a second) I feel like didn't allow me to connect with most of the characters and especially the show's protagonist Percy, which is a blaring sign that sth went wrong along the process of making this series.

Percy:

He's such a lovable character that he's had multiple book series written with him in the leading role. Even though he often fills the role of the "chosen one", he exhibits traits of cleverness and battlefield knowledge both of which are intuitive to him but also grow as the books progress.

However, in the show it feels like EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. he gets a chance to prove this it gets swept away from him and makes him seem like the overplayed Mary Sue character where everything is happening around him, every piece of information is handed TO HIM instead of him figuring it out.

Even the fight with the Minotaur (which could be used to show his inate fighting instincts and bravery) felt a little off to me when I realized that the horn is removed simply because of.. idek some kind of godly strength?? It seems very Superman-esque and you just threw away the chance to show his ability with a sword even with no prior training.

And this keeps happening, people keep handing him information and giving him chances to escape camp even (!) when he very well could have tried to gather information or leave camp himself. Even the quest is handed to him, all vital information included™ by Chiron of all people (Side note: if the Oracle doesn't play a major role in the series I might just quit the show all together)

Sally Jackson & Gabe:

I feel like they shifted the characters and their dynamic a bit. Gabe doesn't seem as abusive as in the books and Sally seems to be able to stand up to him with literally no consequence from him, he just caves and lets them go. This might have something to do with the series being Disney-fied but I'm curious how this will play out and reflect as the audience witnesses Gabe's ultimate fate. Overall it seems like a pointless change that might reflect more poorly on Sally as a character.

Grover:

Grover's portrayal is actually one of the enjoyable parts of the show for me but it gets ruined when I think of some scenes they gave him. First his "betrayal" of Percy is just sad to watch when you're used to seeing them as a BFF always-by-your-side duo, especially when it happens in the very first episode of the series that introduces these characters. So far we haven't seen any consequence for this betrayal either.

This seems to be a pattern so far for the series, characters do things and in return get no consequences even if they're "bad" decisions. Another example is when Grover interrupts Dionysus' and Chiron's meeting with Percy and immediately disobeys Dionysus orders by presenting Percy with even more information regarding his mother. To my shock and displeasure this AGAIN has had no consequences brought on Grover. Interrupting two very important people, one of which a god and disobeying their orders in the same breath should have SOME consequence, no? Dionysus even gives Grover a look of genuine disappointment and pity but literally nothing else happens.

---------------------

Now, I haven't watched episode 3 and the rest of the series hasn't aired as of yet. Therefore some of these things might change or develop.

Overall the series so far has left me disappointed and ultimately baffled at the lack of entertaining value it provided me. I felt like I sat down to watch some pretty scenery and graphics for almost two hours with no emotions involved whatsoever. It just wasn't ψυχαγωγικό for me.

[ladypiscesmoon]

Hello everybody, hope you are all well on this Monday! We’ve got rain over here so Summer is far away at the moment. Ever since I saw the film Call me by your name, I’ve been reading for Timothée Chalamet and Armie Hammer. Their bond is very strong an special. It’s no surprise my first reading here will be a reading for Armie, ft. Timmy. You can say I’m a Charmie, so any hate for the boys will not be tolerated on my page. Remember, all readings are alleged and for entertainment purposes only. The reading was done on 24 July

Reading Armie, 24 July 2023

Tarot cards:

King of cups (devoted, balanced, intuitive, compassionate, supportive, empath) Someone very devoted to Armie is keeping him balanced. A very supportive male has his back, I think this is Timmy

9 of pentacles (abundance, luxury, self-sufficiency, self-worth) His finances are looking better, with that his self-worth will increase, he wants to do something independent, something useful

King of swords ambitious, fast-thinking, success driven, assertive, focused) He’s impatient, ready for action, ready to focus on work and something useful. Feeling restless (hence the head shaving, maybe?) Sitting around is not good for him.

The chariot (action, success, movement, forwards, control, willpower, determination opposing forces, working towards a goal) Again: wants to move forwards, wants to be working towards a goal. Also something together with Tim I hear, so maybe a project together of some kind

Deck: Kipper

Healthy man(13) (a younger man, good news, also with money matters) Better times are coming for him, also financially. A good period for their relationship, and also jobs wise. All in all better than before.

Great fortune(26) (good luck, new opportunities, in jobs, improvement in relationship) I also pick up Tim doing something for Armie, or doing something with him. Again I hear: together.

Courtship (4) (getting together, seducing) They’re going away together like a weekend or a short trip, they want to meet up, make plans, lots of cuddles - and more -

Main male(1) (important male in Armie’s life) the most important male in Armie’s life is Timmy (aside from his son)

Deck: Fairytale Lenormand

House: with house I feel there is a new house on the horizon for Armiebig enough for the children also now he’s got partial custody. I also pick up he and Tim will try to have a place together but how that will play out with the children is something they have to think about

Birds: minor hiccups, little fights, discussions, but they will figure it out. Plus they like banter and teasing that’s just the way they are together

Stork: something new beginning. In a way Armie starts over again.

Bouquet: lots of happiness. I feel this will be an easier period for Armie although he gets restless. He wants to move things along. He still has lots to figure out.

Deck: Chakra wisdom oracle cards:

Service (sacral chakra) For me: he’s someone always helping, serving, taking care of someone and being there for other people. He’s got to learn to do things for himself too, and learn that he can enjoy that

Destiny (crown chakra) What do yóu want? Take a risk form your own destiny. Now that you have found true love, go for it, together you’re stronger. It’s complicated but so much worth it.

Perception(heart chakra) The heart knows what the eyes can not see. The past is the past, let it be. Upwards and onwards. Allow yourself to feel good. He feels a bit sad at times, but only he can do something about it. Transformation is in the heart. What needs ending in your life? Focus on that. The experience will be richer if you allow it.

Impasse(sacral chakra) he’s a bit blocked, he doesn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. He’s got to allow himself to heal and to feel loved. Refocus, change direction if necessary. It will be okay in the end.

How are Armie and Timmy doing together (small check-in)

Deck: True love oracle

Connection: working on their connection, relationship

Inner peace: loving yourself benefits your relationship

Sexuality: sexuality blossoms in an atmosphere of trust and intimacy

Yin and Yang: love and friendship. Strive for harmony and balance, through change, reflection and growth.

Maturity: be responsible for your own happiness

Reparenting yourself: free yourself from the past, you are more able to give and receive love in the present

Theirs is still a new relationship (I think they’ve been together in the past, but it wasn’t exclusive until recently. So, they still have to figure out a lot and learn a lot about how to be a couple. Sometimes that’s still a challenge with everything happening around them. But they’re getting better at it.

Deck: love oracle deck

Heart with a key: opening their heart, welcoming love. ‘The one’ realising what he’s got.

Paradise: finding a paradise like situation, happiness, joy, playfulness, enjoying what they have together. After a more difficult time (being apart physically was really hard for Tim) moving forward and being playful with each other/ happy, ‘we against the world.

Stabbed in the back: they had their challenges and difficulties while Armie was away (Caymans, holiday) Tim felt betrayed and blindsided by the pictures with Lisa although he had absolute no right after the PR sham with Kylie, but still he was hurt.

Passion: Insane chemistry, having fun, liking each other equally, sexual thoughts, I think they have plans to meet up soon ( just after the reading Timmy left NY and headed to LA)

How does Timmy feel about Armie

Same deck: love oracle

Passion: see what I wrote above ☺️

Healing heart: healing from heartbreak. He’s slowly letting go, wants to go back to what they had before Armie went on his extended trip, because that was really good. It happened, let it go.

Cassette: replaying events over in his head, he’s got to let go of the past and also still has a little trouble of trusting Armie completely, but he gets better at it and it will be okay in the end.

Stabbed in the back: he really felt betrayed, but was a bit harsh, knowing what he himself has to do for his work and his reputation, so it wasn’t really fair to Armie.

He’ll find the way back, he always does. I feel him being a bit anxious again, also about work. He very much wants to be with Armie and cuddle. Find some peace and some rest. The arguments they have are meaningless and petty if you look at their story together, but like I said I think they like the banter too.

Here ends the reading, I hope you enjoyed and please don’t hesitate to ask me any question about it!

*Alleged For Entertainment Purposes Only

[morally-grey-girlbosses]

Archbishop Rhea/Seiros Propaganda Post

It’s not talked about enough that she is probably the most morally gray character of the game with many of her actions having good intentions, but not going about it in the best way.

She made a lot of difficult choices with no way of knowing the future consequences. Needed more screen time, she only got 1 war crime compared to Edelgard’s 15, she deserved the chance to commit more.

She stabs a man to death in the opening cutscene, sacrifices herself numerous times to save people, and offers weed to students. She has the range.

Listen to me!!! She is the best example of moral ambiguity in the game. Too many people wrongly attribute bad things in game to her and project their religious trauma onto her and make her out to be the bad guy just because of a little catholic aesthetic. I’ve even seen people believe she is homophobic and racist despite the fact that she is bisexual AND has had assassination attempts on her life because she DOESN’T discriminate based on race. To understand her you need backstory.

Rhea is from a race called the Nabateans, the literal children of the goddess known as Sothis. They were more advanced than humans, but decided to share their technology with them anyway. Bad idea if you are familiar with Star Trek’s prime directive. The humans let the power go to their heads and started a devastating war. By the time it ended the whole continent was in such bad shape, Sothis had to use up a majority of her power to heal the land and then went into a healing sleep.

Centuries later, the Nabateans are living peacefully in their own city when the group of people that started the old war (now called Agarthans) convinced a bandit group to help them kill the Nabateans. It was a literal genocide (referred to in-game I believe as the Red Canyon Massacre) with only 9 known survivors of an entire people. It gets worse though. The bandits drank the blood of the slaughtered Nabateans to gain their powers (crests) and tore out their hearts and bones to create weapons. To avenge her family and fight back against the continent wide conquest by Nemesis (lead bandit who killed her mother) Rhea took on a new name (Seiros) and led a resistance effort while pretending to be a human oracle. She won in the end, but that is where the moral ambiguity comes into play.

History is written by the winners, and Rhea chose to lie. Specifically, she changed the origin of Nemesis’ power. She spun it that he didn’t kill the goddess, Sothis gave him her powers to be a holy warrior, but he became evil and betrayed her. In her sadness, Sothis left the mortal world and called upon other holy warriors (Rhea and co.) to defeat him. The crests and “holy” relics (bone weapons) weren’t created from slaughter, they were direct blessings from the goddess. Other bandits who killed her family, actually heroes on her side. Why, you may ask, did she do this? To protect her remaining family. The war had lasted for around 100 years due to the Nabatean blood extending the bandits lifespan and had given them super human powers. They had had kids and even grandkids. The powers were noticeable, significant, and had to have come from somewhere. She could either:

Tell the truth. The bandits killed the goddess and her people, and now the bandits entire family had inherited proof of this horrific act. Pros: the bandits are not seen in a good light and she doesn’t have to be nice to them. Cons: she has put a target on the remaining Nabateans as sources of inhuman power for unsavory people. Also, the bandits descendants suffer for their ancestors crimes. (There is an example of this in game.)

Lie. Crests were blessing, but the goddess left after her gift was abused. Pros: hides Nabateans existence and makes the bandits in her debt for not being seen as evil. Cons: she has to pretend she is not surrounded by the blood of people who took her family from her and are using their bones as weapons. She chose to lie. This eventually led to the development of crest-based importance in society. Those with crests were more highly valued which led to discrimination and favoritism based on it. This is mainly for nobility, commoners didn’t give a shit about it other than “proof you are related to a specific guy”. So some people in the fandom are mad at Rhea for this and think she should have told the truth to prevent magic blood based elitism as if that would have prevented wealth and power based inequality.

Another morally ambiguous action she did was temporarily slow down the the progress of human advancement. She had seen what can happen when humans get a hold of dangerous tech (prime directive!!!) and ALL bans were done to prevent more fighting. Examples:

A printing press. Exist in current canon, but was temporarily banned due to the potential “of mass circulation of misinformation and malevolent rumors”. Guess what happens in game. A character has an “information campaign” to promote a war of imperialism and spread anti-religious and Nabatean sentiments.🙃

Telescope. Specifically because “the ease of locating enemy camps would escalate wartime violence”.

Black oil. Due to “misuse could result in accidental death” and “competition for it could cause strife”. (I am 100% on Rhea’s side for this, fuck fossil fuels)

Note: people try and say that she also banned autopsies, but in-game books only say that a Cardinal wanted them banned with no evidence that Rhea agreed to do it.

Also, another divisive action Rhea took was the attempted resurrection of Sothis (this has two parts). The first was her creation of homunculus. Her process for this was to create an empty body as a shell and then put the goddess’s heart into it and hope she entered into and took over the body. She did not and instead the homunculi all developed their own consciousnesses. Rhea did this 12 times over the course of 1000 years meaning she probably let each one live out a human lifespan and tried again after they died. This one is only really ambiguous because a lot of people incorrectly assumed that she had been kidnapping children and experimenting on them instead of creating the bodies. I try to avoid arguments about whether she should have created the homunculi in the first place, because they kind of start to sound like those arguments about whether women in XYZ situations should be allowed to create life/have children (if that makes sense).

The second part is her attitude and treatment of Byleth (the main character). Byleth was stillborn and Sitri (Byleth’s mom and Rhea’s 12th homunculus) was dying from birth complications. Sitri begged Rhea to remove the goddess’s heart (which brought her to life) and use it to try and save Byleth. Rhea, who saw Sitri as a daughter, agreed to do it. Some players found this unforgivable for experimenting(???) on Byleth and not asking the father(???) for permission. Rhea’s attitude toward Byleth when they grow up is weird writing wise. Some scenes imply that she believes Byleth to be the goddess reincarnated (sort of true) and in other scenes she implies that they are a vessel for Sothis to possess (also sort of true). So that’s another point for ambiguity.

LASTLY (I’m almost done), the scene near the end of the one route where Rhea is an enemy instead of an ally. The player character’s team has almost won, most of the continent has been conquered, and the last remaining of Dimitri and Rhea’s rebel forces are trapped in a fortress city not suitable for sieges. Rhea decides “I am taking you to hell with me :)”, turns into a dragon, unleashes the hidden Nabatean high tech robots, and has the WHOLE city set on fire with civilians implied to still be inside. Big girlboss moment and honestly considering why she is the final boss I don’t blame her for going ape shit.

[lullabyalikpoptarot]

TXT Energy Reading (September)

I will be looking into the energies surrounding TXT for this month.

Overall group Energy (Knight of Wands) There will be lots of passion and movement for them this month. It seems they will be excited doing the things they enjoy. They will have lots of enthusiasm and energy. They will be excited about doing the things they are passionate about. Overall good energy here.

Yeonjun (Page of Cups) He will be in a very imaginative place. His imagination and emotions will run wild this month. This is a lot about creating something from nothing and surprising others. I know he is releasing a solo project, so this makes sense. He will be curious about what is ahead of him. It seems he will feel very emotional this month. He may struggle to control it. I also pulled oracle cards for them, he got The Tear card, so yeah, an emotional time for him. It could be joyful, therapeutic and sadness. I feel his emotions will be all over the place with that POC's energy. This is also a great time for intuitive hits to come through, so he could use that to his advantage.

Soobin (King of Pentacles rv) I was hoping for some better energy here, since he has been going through it lately. It seems he is still seeking more, there may be a materialistic mindset for him right now. It is kind of hard for him to appreciate what he has. In the reversed, this energy is very stubborn, unyielding and dominated, and has a strong need to control their environment. I feel a strong need to control their environment might fit him. It is kind of hard for him to let go. As a Cap I get it, but being this way can cause a lot of stress. The oracle card is Kairos, which means a need to understand things will align itself, it is about understanding all things happen in due time, and to force it is kind of pointless. I just sense from this card there is need for him to let go. It is like he sets a specific time of what things need to be done, but that isn't how life works.

Beomgyu (4 of Wands) Love this card. It seems he is in his element; he feels at home. I don't know why I feel the 4, means his for brothers, meaning the members, which is cute. He seems to be in a good place for this month. There seems to be a lot to celebrate, or he will be counting his blessing this month. For the oracle, he got the Prayer, lovely card again. It seems he will have faith in the universe, or maybe his prayers will be answered. It just seems he will let go and let the universe take its course. Love this for him.

Taehyun (Temperance) He will be in a peaceful place, a place of harmony. He will be practicing moderation. He may be taking things a bit slower or trying to slow things down from their fast-paced life. He will keep working on keeping the peace. He will keep one foot in and one foot out, I am not sure what that means, but that came to me as well. It is like he may not put his all into something. For the oracle he's got the Animal. He can be pretty instinctual and primal at times. It is like he can see things very clearly, or just know what is right for him. He might not want to give into his animalistic behavior, maybe that is where the moderation comes in, now what that animalistic behavior is. I leave that up to ya'll to figure out.

Hueningkai (The Fool) Why do I feel like he got this card from his last reading, but I may be wrong. He is about to venture into new territory. He is starting fresh for this month, wiping the slate clean. He might be careful not to do anything careless though with this energy. This energy is a bit naive, so he may be careful of his surroundings. But it seems he will take a more simplistic approach to things. It is about new beginnings and learning from scratch for him. The oracle is the River, this card is about learning to let your emotions run wild, to not contain, but let it flow like a river, he may be working on that or needs to. This may also indicate for him to go near a river or listen to river sounds to help sooth him through this time.

Overall guidance (Solitude) Time spent alone, reflecting, learning about who they are as individuals will be important for them this month. They may be spending lots of time alone this month. But it may be important for them to learn to be alone with themselves, and to figure out who they are besides being TXT.

I am happy that overall, the energy isn't as bad. Soobin needs some work though, but that is life, we got our ups and downs.

[loyal04]

Actually offense. The Percy Jackson Tv show had no suspense. Everything was stated out right we never got to wonder or be suspicious/surprised because everything was stated. Some Examples Medusa, The fates, Furies, EVEN CRUSTY FOR GODS SAKES. There was no build up, even the Summer solstice failed. It was supposed to be a DEADLINE but they went passed it and brushed that off in one convo with Zeus. Hades complete mood switch???? Why was Athena so petty?? Like yes Athena is most likely petty but she wouldn’t take a risk like that its, NOT smart.

Dont get me started on the last episode Traitor reveal. NO SUSPENSE No dramatic drop just. “Your the lightning thief..” LIKE BRO WHAT WHERES MY 60 SECONDS.

Im sorry to say this but I wasn’t content or happy with the tv show. Even the Cgi was weird and the fighting was terrible. The sparing they did with Luke and Percy was the best fight scene in that while show… and that is just sad. Even the fight with ARES was underwhelming. Im hoping they’ll take this criticism and really change that for season two I want dramatic drops, build up, TIME TO BREATH. MAYBE EVEN A LONG FIGHT? They drop so much lore and so fast you don’t have time to digest.

Im pissed about the May lore drop WE DIDNT KNOW ABOUT HER UNTIL BOOK 5. ANNABETH WASN’T EVEN ALLOWED INSIDE (or it was just the kitchen I believe) BUT STILL. Annabeth was almost as clueless as Percy if I remember correctly. Even if she wasnt she doesn’t have the right to spill that secret of Lukes like girl what?? Luke shouldn’t have told about Thalia but still at least she was his friend as well but his trauma about his mom was not yours to share also guilt tripping Hermes??

May’s fate wasn’t even really Hermes fault. He tried to talk her out of it and it was Hades who cursed the oracle in the first place. Im just so upset about all the secrets that were revealed early.

The acting didn’t have much emotion or I felt they portrayed it wrong. For instance Percy reacted to almost everything with the same face. The show was way to dry for my liking. Percy jackson is supposed to be funny. Sally kind of seemed like a mean mom iykwim. I mean she just had no patience for Percy at all and it constantly felt like she was guilt tripping him… no just me??? I get that shes a struggling and single parent but Whattt???? She’s supposed to be supportive, kind and loving. If I met that sally I wouldn’t expect her to sit me down in her kitchen offering us a blanket and cookies.

THEY DID GABE FOWL. They did him so poorly that man did not deserve to die sure he was a dead beat but seriously?? Tartarus would not smell like him. They should have just let him get divorced it would have made sense but turning him to stone?? For what being a lazy, grouchy stepdad??

Gabe in the book was abusive manipulated just a straight up Piece of sewer gunk. He HIT them he abused them and manipulated them into staying quiet. The entire scene with the cops and everything. The guy in the show tho?? He looks like he’d fall over from the raise of a hand bro wouldn’t even be able to throw a punch. He doesn’t even have a job?? He looks like the worst he would do is yell and make fun of you because he’s probably projecting because he’s completely useless but deserving death?? He was more of a nuisance he didn’t deserve to die being divorced and alone forever I can’t understand but seriously??

Also the Percabeth slow burn… they’re pushing it they were just friends in the first book maybe in the second we start getting into it. But seriously the first season? She just started opening up to him in the first book. WE DIDN’T EVEN GET THEIR TALK LIKE UGH WHAT I wanted the Annabeth backstory about her dad but they didn’t have the convo about her going home for the summer we didn’t get into it. They’re overcooking my 5 book long slow burn.

They stuffed to much into too short of episodes that we didn’t get time to breath or get to know our characters. It was just a one minute battles here and there, a few conversations about impending doom and Percy being sad about his mom like. I know I’m being Petty but they should have split most of those episodes into two so we had more time to learn about our characters or digest the info dumps. The first episodes had me reeling I swear my head was swirling. The characters themselves didn’t have time to breath “Oh your claimed by poseidon now you have to go on a deadly quest to find the master bolt everyone thinks you stole but we think hades stole it also he probably has your mom.” Why are they shoving everything in our face. Percy in the books had 3 DAYS to come to terms with his parentage but show percy had like a day AT MOST.

I don’t know, they just could have done so well but they didn’t. I swear Mikey mouse must have tied Rick to a chair no way he said yeah this is amazing or a good script decision. THERE WERE SO MANY PLOT HOLES or decisions that didn’t make any sense.

[rughydrangea]

After 81 glorious episodes, I have finished Jumong. I started it in July, pretty soon after it appeared on Viki (now please add more old long sageuks pretty please Viki!), and have been watching fairly steadily since then, mostly with my mum when we're in the same place (my dad at a certain point started watching with her but only managed to stay awake through episodes starting in the 60s, meaning he had no idea who half the characters were...). And I have some thoughts!

--I loved it! It didn't get me in the gut like a QSD or a SFD or even The Legend, but it really kept up my interest across 81 episodes, with a great mixture of action, intrigue, melodrama, and silliness (there was the intentional silliness like my man Mo Pal Mo, but also stuff like the oracle being struck by lightning when she tried to curse Jumong, which made me howl with laughter). I really wish we still got sagueks like this--long, deliberate, with no interest in being cool or youthful, give or take a backflip (though the fact that I now get to start Goryeo-Khitan War really does make me happy and excited).

--I started watching kdramas seriously in 2014. At that time, I was familiar with Song Il Gook--but only because I couldn't avoid endless gifs of him and his patriotically-named triplets. I vaguely understood that he had been a big-deal actor, but his main dramas were older and less accessible (and when he did Jang Yeong Shil in 2016 it wasn't available to stream legally anywhere), so I had never seen him in anything until this. And now... I would very much like for him to come back to dramas! He is honestly incredible here: so charismatic, so compelling to watch, SO handsome, and most importantly he really nails the incredibly long journey Jumong goes on, from callow loser to impetuous guy figuring it out to determined general to gravitas-laden king. Every step of the way I was with him, and though the show boasts a huge cast, he really was the reason for the season; the show isn't called Jumong for nothing. There are two episodes he isn't in when everyone thinks Jumong is dead, and it's like a punch to the viewer's gut as well, you just can't imagine this world without him in it! And did I mention that he's handsome?

--Speaking of handsome, shoutout to the 3-year time-jump around episode 50 when all of a sudden it seemed like all the men of the show had spent the weeks leading up to that growing out their hair and all their manes of glory were flowing in the breeze. Your efforts did not go unappreciated, gentlemen! (Also 2006 lace-front wigs are rough to watch in HD!)

--Speaking of compelling journeys, even though this was the Jumong show (literally!) Soseono also really went through it, and Han Hye Jin made every stage of her transformation from bold, overconfident young woman to burdened mother and queen believable and interesting. And these parallel journeys of the leads really do provide the emotional heart of the show: as they grow up and make difficult decisions and go down paths they never anticipated (particularly their marriages to different people), on the one hand they are fulfilling their dreams and destinies, but on the other they are basically guaranteeing that the beautiful time of their youth, when they were in love and saw a whole life together unfolding before them, could never be recaptured. Even when Soseono and Jumong finally marry, it is out of duty and obligation--not that there isn't a part of them that still loves the other, but that part has been entirely subordinated to the other projects that they dedicated their lives to. Soseono leaving does make sense (though Biryu's rebellion was so dumb that it made it impossible for me to have sympathy for him), but it was genuinely sad to see both her and Jumong realize that the thing they lost all those years ago could never be returned, not even by 15 years of marriage.

--And speaking of marriage... I feel really bad for Yesoya, a character who basically exists to abnegate herself and also give Jumong a baby. But I found their relationship weirdly fascinating (and though sageuks like Jumong have a reputation for being stodgy, I do want to highlight that both leads in this drama marry people they explicitly don't romantically love and almost immediately get pregnant. Sexuality exists in stodgy sageuks! (also Jumong got very frisky with those tavern girls after Haemosoo died)). By the end, when Yesoya comes back, Jumong looks at her with such warmth, it's as though feeling really really guilty ended up making him actually fall in love with her.

--Shout out to the casting director, Yuri really did look like he was Jumong's son.

--Imagine my surprise and delight that there is an honest-to-God gay couple in this 81-long episode sageuk from 2006 that is obvious, unambiguous, and deeply deeply sweet. Though my inability to makes heads or tails of Bae Soo Bin as an actor continues. I have seen him be very good (as he is here)! I have seen him be VERY bad. Where is the truth?????

I guess that's it for now. Come back to us, Song Il Gook!

[knightofhylia]

Deck Review: Alleyman's Tarot

original blog post May 31 2022

Deck

This is the Alleyman’s Tarot by Publishing Goblin. First off, the person who made it is named Seven so like how can I not support this epitome of queerness? I got this deck on Kickstarter after it kept poking at me. Almost every time I opened facebook or instagram I would get an ad for it and I had another friend point it out to me. This deck took like 9 months to actually get here so this number has been on the back of my mind for a while. It is a 137+ tarot deck with cards from different decks. There’s a whole backstory and podcast about the ‘Alleyman’ which makes the deck very intricate. I got this deck (including box, bag, both chips, deck, and free booster) for like $50 so that’s a goddamn steal if I say so. I think they mentioned extras would be going for more like $80. It’s worth it, trust me. My one complaint is that the guide book has a page texture that I don’t like. It kinda squeaks but I’m going to rebind it in twine or yarn to remedy that. This deck Is BIG! The stack is about 2 inches high. Physically it is a deck that demands respect and I highly recommend taking a look at Publishing Goblin’s other stuff, they have board games and oracle decks in the works as well!

Booklet

Organization wise it has Major Arcana, Cups, Wands, Swords, and Coins. There are multiple of certain Major Arcana, such as 9 death cards, 3 towers, 2 devils etc. My fave death is Death (Dancing) because he is a funky little guy. The suits are standard, no doubles. Then there is the Strange Suit which is all the decks that had non RW suits like my fave 8 of tentacles, a card about jacking off! Ace of hounds is great as well as he looks like a lad. The Other Arcana is all the non RW Arcana like The Hole, the Joker, and my ultimate favourite card, Giusseppe. There’s also ‘Lost Cards’ which are the ones that are in booster packs. I think every deck got a free booster pack and I believe they will be selling those later as well ( ihopehopehope). There’s some reading spread suggestions and it’s a wild ride. There was a spread that involved adding coins, the deck also actively encourages trading tarot cards, which might be a fun project someday. It’s very cleverly done and laid out. Reading it is easy on mine eyeballs as well.

Spirit

I knew EXACTLY who it would be the moment I saw it. There’s only one bitch as thick and juicy as this deck. I have shied away from deity work because I was afraid of disappointment and I was a really bad believer for a while lol. This was my top dog deity Tmikh Hemy (she/they/he/it)! I was very excited to be ready to work with her. Without a doubt she is one of my most powerful decks. I put my hand in her bag and close my eyes and I can feel it up my arms and in my forehead.

Reading Style

Okay so she’s a funny one. She’s a deck that loves to be passed around. Everyone takes a chunk and passes on. She thrives on the different energies she gets. She learns from her readings like I do. She’s a cool mom and she’s hip with the kids! Since the deck is so big I read it three different ways: whole deck, chunking, or ‘which card fucks’ (official terms). Whole deck is a sad clown balloon act to shuffle so I generally chunk it. Usually I do a big shuffle and then I just grab parts of the deck and that’s what I’ll work with. If I grab a chunk and change questions I have to redo my chunks. Which card fucks is where I go through the whole deck and pick out cards that vibe to me during that time, or ‘fuck’. Her tone is very funny, she LOVES to be sassy. I kept joking about ‘what if I get all the death cards’ and sure enough every reading had at least one of the death cards. Each card means something so vastly different from each other that this really demands the time to sit and read over the guide a few times to really get it. She loves puns and language, so I look a lot into specific words or phrases she says. Even if I don’t get the metaphor I can understand what she’s getting at. Hemy is definitely a mystery, sometimes she tells me straight up shit like her house layout but I ask about something else and she’s not saying a word. I can tell because usually the card says something about secrets or giving up or makes no sense in the rest of the reading. A lot of ‘go figure it out yourself’. 

Suggested Readings

I would recommend her for any kind of reading, but her specialty is personal power. She’s the fire under your ass. She emphasizes on your personal changes first before your circumstances. If you want a soulmate, be ready to work on yourself. If you want abundance you better have room for it. I would love to do readings for people of various faiths with this deck!

[kateubanks]

#1 Sylvia Plath and the Adolescent Girl

The year is 2019, and I'm in my senior AP Lit class because I was obviously that brand of over-achiever. We were assigned to write in-depth analyses of poems of our choice, preferably from one of "the greats."

I landed upon Sylvia Plath because Google told me she was "edgy and different," and I chose "Morning Song" because the title sounded pretty. Top-tier decision-making.

Here's the poem. In short, it focuses on her feelings towards motherhood, specifically in a child's earliest days. I won't go into too much detail on this poem. If you want a better discussion of it, check out this great post I found.

So. There I am, all of seventeen years old, writing about how motherhood might change a person's life -- how the reflection in the mirror will look unfamiliar, how you begin to value another's existence over your own. Meanwhile, my largest issue in life is paying my rent. Which, to be fair, isn't a great issue for a teenager to have. The point is that I know nothing about motherhood, and I'm very good at bullshitting because I got a 96 on the paper (damn formatting; it'll get ya' every time).

Despite my inability to relate to its intended meaning, I loved the writing. It was flowery and sweet on the tongue. I could read it over and over again without getting bored. Each word had a new meaning after every read. When the project ended, I used my grungy tip money from a certain nameless drive-in to purchase a Sylvia Plath poetry collection at my local Barnes and Nobel.

And thus, the love affair began. I was hooked. It was the first time I felt that literature -- as lifeless as it may appear -- understood me. A woman who lived a much different life than mine decades prior had been able to translate my feelings into words, and the stars had aligned perfectly for me to discover her one fateful Tuesday morning in English class.

The human condition never changes, no matter the circumstances. Romance is always romance, and a suicidal teenaged girl is always a suicidal teenaged girl. She'll always think of red poppy fields when she sees her own blood. She'll listen for her father in seashells. She'll believe that she can come back to life, whether it's 1963 or 2015.

So, all of that being said might seem antithetical to my argument moving forward. . .

This is from an article on Sylvia Plath as America's "cinematic sad girl":

Because Plath's work has become synonymous with pain and suffering, her name is watered down to nothing more than a tragic figure instead of one that, despite her suicidal tendencies, possessed profound hope.

As a whole, we tend to look down upon things that teenaged girls enjoy. Look at Twilight, and Uggs, and Starbucks, and basically every young-adult romcom. We see them as trivial, basic, or *gasp* girly. Because there's absolutely nothing worse than being associated with women (the horror!).

Let's be clear. This sentiment is rooted in sexism. I believe something to this degree occurs a bit with our dear Plath, with a dash of good, old-fashioned, mental health stigmas. Another except from our previous article:

There are countless examples of other characters in film and television using The Bell Jar or Plath's name as a synonym for 'depressed,' 'complicated,' or 'overdramatic', emphasizing her misinterpretation in the cultural lexicon.

Why do I care? I love Plath. I'm not claiming that the bulk of her work isn't about her struggle with mental health, or that you should love her, too. Just to post the question: is the issue Plath's focus on her mental health, or that too many teenaged girls relate to her, so we must shit on her because something that women enjoy must be awful?

And with that, I will leave you all with a short list of some of my favorite Plath poems.

Lady Lazarus

On the Decline of Oracles

Fever 103°

Wreath for a Bridal

Ella Mason and Her Eleven Cats

[alyjojo]

Love Reading 🫀- August 2023 - Libra

Singles:

Overall energy: 4 Cups

How you will meet: The Star

How they will treat you: Knight of Pentacles rev

Long-term Potential: 4 Wands

Oracle: Decide Your Vibe

You’re probably going to give up on this person before you finally realize it’s the right one. You’re the problem! Maybe. Probably. This is the person of your dreams, but you don’t necessarily trust it, or skip over them a few times like “nah”. There could be one date or interaction where sparks are flying everywhere, but nothing after, it’s like a dead stop. The reason it never goes anywhere is because of (I assume you) getting in your head, assuming the worst, making up reasons why they hate you or aren’t into you, they have someone else, projecting all of these fears and worst case scenarios. But, once someone does decide to speak up, the outcome is beautiful. A stable relationship, possibly living together, releasing all of these fears and worries and realizing it was all your mind playing tricks on you. 2 Cups & 10 Cups, it’s liable to shock the hell out of you, they’re the one 💖

Messages -

Their side:

- I just don’t know what to say.

- Really Tall

Your side:

- Quietly observing 👀

- Younger man/woman

- Meant to Be ❤️

Signs you may be dealing with:

Cancer, Aquarius, Pisces, Virgo, Scorpio & Gemini

Couples:

Overall energy: 9 Swords

Current: 3 Wands

Challenge: Judgement

How they feel about you: 9 Pentacles

How you feel about them: Knight of Swords

Outcome: 4 Cups rev & The Hierophant

You two see the absolute worst in each other, going by the oracles. This is over with, you both know it, but you also both wait for each other to make it better, be romantic and have another beginning, and you’re both terrified of the other person having other options, cheating in the connection, being happy with other people. You both hold that back, and any hurt or heartbreak for the sake of pride and wearing a brave face with each other. Proving a point. Not being vulnerable or “weak”.

They see you as acting single, partying it up with your friends, maybe going out on dates, and it makes them sad, 5 Cups. Deeply sad, focused on what’s lost and feeling extremely negative towards your lack of give a damn. You see them as verbally cutting and harsh towards you, maybe biting your head off, and leaving this behind altogether…maybe literally leaving. Moving somewhere else, or traveling away from you for awhile to get their head on straight. Outcome for mid Sept, a chance is lost to fix the connection, or express any vulnerabilities/feelings with each other due to the actions you both are taking against the other, and your very negative views of each other, though there are deep feelings, I’m also getting there is “no more nice” here. It’s just over. You or they may also decide to move on & commit to someone else very quickly, or take some drastic action, ending this cycle between you for good. For someone, it is possible that “counseling” is introduced as an option to help a relationship, but that won’t be for everyone.

Messages -

Their side:

- Lighter skin tone

- I want the kids, the dogs, the fence, everything!

Your side:

- You fascinate me.

- Sibling Drama

- We don’t want the same things.

Oracles - Tell that little douchebag voice to pipe down.

Their side:

Don’t let anyone control you spiritually or in any other way. You are the master of your chart.

Avoid being pulled in by people who use you and out you down.

Your side: Even if dark-souled entities are in your own family, know that you can divorce yourself from them.

Signs you may be dealing with:

Gemini, Scorpio, Virgo, Pisces, Cancer & Taurus

[acydpop]

WIP Wednesday

✨ Projects:

Daddymort Fest

DD:DNE Summertime Sadness

HP Cest Fest

Snape Big Bang

Tomarry Big Bang

Snarry Bang/Reverse Big Bang

Batfam Reverse Big Bang

---

Hello!

This week has been pretty busy.

There's been a lot of cycling through projects to have a little bit of progress being made on each one. I've been using the Pomodoro method to help me stay in "work mode" during the allotted time (and it's been working so far). I tend to hyper-focus when working on a project, and that's great, but I also am a perfectionist, which means I would spend too much time focusing on the minor details of one piece when I have other projects I'd also like to work on. Plus...I like to sleep, and working until 3-4 am is not good for my health. 😅

I'm glad there was a gap in the bad weather so I could take the final photo for one of my pieces. I love working traditionally, but some materials like to shine brighter than others under indoor lighting, so natural light is very much needed.

I can't post any progress photos on any of my projects since they're for ongoing fests, but I do plan on making individual posts for the bts of my artworks. I may do the same for my fics, but I'm not sure what I would do for them tbh.

Here is a picture of what my work desk looks like now. The towel is covering up a fest painting. The desk is a lot cleaner here. Once I bust out the other materials, the decks, poppet, and other misc things will be moved somewhere else (most likely my bed).

[id: A photograph of the writer's cluttered workstation. The majority top portion of the photograph shows a stack of art media paper, a Batman comic, tape, sticky notes, and writing utensils. In the top-left corner is a small stack of tarot and oracle decks with a small doll on top with a part of its head off. The bottom half of the photograph shows from left to right: a mixing palette with a pink hand towel for cleaning brushes on top, a taped-down painting covered by another pink towel (this one even messier with paint) and a white ceramic container housing small tubes of watercolors. /id]

For the next couple of days, I'll probably not be working on anything since I just got injections in my lower back today, and I was told I'll definitely need days to heal from that. Hopefully, by this weekend, I will get back to my painting. :)

My goal for next week's check-in is to have a couple of fics outlined and another couple having the drafts started. I will be flexible with my expectations with the art creation piece since I can't sit at my desk for too long.

I hope you all have a lovely day, and until next time,

♥ acyd

March 24, 2023 --> Listening to: "Ritual" by Necronomidol

--> Reading: I Failed to Oust the Villain! (webcomic) by Jaeunhyang & Assam & syunnuyn

[inpursuitofmeaning]

March 16, 2024

This morning, I went cycling by myself. 6 30 am, free from preying eyes, I still obeyed traffic laws. I truly am a saint. Oh - by the way - I did it! I biked across the border into Gatineau Park - just like I promised myself! It has been 2 years of avoiding that route (and granted, the new bridge opening that connects to the bike paths made it easier than it would have been in the past) - but I am still so proud. First ride out ~check-mark noise~, and did a route that scared me ~check-mark noise~. It was scary, and I was nervous, but as soon as I got to the bridge, I saw the sunset rising above Parliament, saw the reflection of pink and orange on the water, and, truth be told, was very grateful to be alive. At that moment, I felt like I could accomplish anything, including handling the problems that made my yesterday shit and dissuaded me from writing my daily log.

I look a bid disheveled in this picture for obvious reasons.

To be honest, I didn't really feel like writing about how I messed up hydrating my primers in the lab, or how I dropped some on the floor (shhh, it's a secret), or how I got really overwhelmed when learning qPCR, or how my specimens didn't even have latent viruses after all. That sounds like a good thing - and it is, I suppose - however, now I might need to pivot my entire PhD. I also did some critical thinking (for once, shocker) and realized I might not be going in the right direction with my project. I might need to object to a direction that my supervisors are pushing me, and overall am feeling really defeated. I also am unsure where to even begin studying for my committee meeting. But before we get all down about that - let's be in the moment just a little longer. I did the scary bike, and in that moment of bliss, I was at peace.

To be honest, the shit day was what gave me the courage to actually go for the ride. Instead of staying up late working, like I often do, I was so sad that I couldn't bring myself to work. Instead, I set an early alarm and distracted myself with the idea of a romantic early morning bike ride. It worked, and I feel a little calmer.

After the bike ride, Hunter, my wonderful partner, took me on such a lovely cafe date. I got a tea, and he got a hot chocolate. Everything was warm, and everything was right. And in that moment, I was very happy to be alive.

Émile, my French lab mate, and Sophie, blond Godess of the cattle, also gave me some great advice about my project.

"I also messed up making my primers today so I'm lying on the floor in my living room staring into the void" I texted them. "No void staring! The primers got what was coming to them" Sophie responded. I sent a close up of me starting at the camera "POV: Youre the void" I responded. "Qpcr sucks anyways" Émile chimed. "Agreed, made up black magic" I responded. "I'm going to go back to my farming simulator game and farm some REAL crops", I continued. [insert filler discussion between Emile, Sophie and I about the new species maybe not having viruses". "Also if this species done have latent viruses my entire PhD is à la poubelle", I complained. "You will pivot if that is the case! No worry! Forget all that before your exam", Émile assured. "Émile, you are an oracle of wisdom". I worshiped.

Then we started talking about crows, and I felt much better.