#or withdraws when i get worried like please go see a therapist i am begging you

[zenyye]

i am. so tired of my friend’s shit. like theyre always getting themselves into drama and i am tired

[dysfunctionalnerd]

I was wondering ... how would Randall react to Evil! Layton? or Monocle! Layton(by the way your drawings are amazing!)

ahhh thank u so much!! that means so much to me ;u; oh my GOSH MONACLE LAYTON!!! i havent thought about him organically in too long sksksks

well so ok if i had to make layton evil at any point in time, the way id do it would be after unwound future. it would be about 2 years after he found randall, but in this scenario he never worked up the courage to call randall or go back and visit after he left Monte D'or so abrubtly, which means losing that friendship was already weighing on his heart. so then after UF, losing claire and luke in the span of the same week... its too much for him. Crying in his room one night, he says "so this is it then? am i destined to always lose the people i love? i will simply never love again." and he snaps. he gets cold and distant, doesnt allow the kindness of others to reach him. all he wants now is vengance, and this man has been wronged by soooooo many people.

The only person still living with him is flora at this point. at first she lets things slide. things like seeing hersh withdraw into his study for too long, or drink too late into the night. but then she notices he stays in his room for days at a time, clearly working on something, but he gets so rude when asked about what. shes always met with answers like "its none of your concern" or "dont ask questions you're not prepared to hear the answer to", until one day she really puts her foot down. Demands to know whats going on. Shes so worried. But hershel screams at her to go away. an ugly, terrible yelling nobody deserves. and its so cold she just,, runs away crying. she cant think of anybody to reach out for help. she doesnt know anybody, she was never allowed to go out and make friends.

until she remembers the stories luke told her about the man they saved in Monte D'or, and she remembers how softly hershel would smile the precious few times he mentioned he name randall.

so she pulls up a phone book and looks up a Randall Ascot. Its not hard considering he owns an entire fucking town. shes crying and scared and alone, and when randall picks up the phone, he is of course concerned. hes never met this girl, but nobody should by crying this much, and then his heart breaks when he realizes its hershel who did this. He was always hurt by how hershel never said goodbye, and never called again to rekindle their friendship. at first he doesn't want to come over, but flora begs him.

"please, randall, you have to help. I know i hardly know you but... nobody else can reach him, i just know it".

so he grabs the nearest train. tells flora take take it easy at a bougie hotel for a night while he makes the trip over, pays for everything ofc. the two meet up. randall falls in love with this girl in .5 seconds (yknow in that "ive only met this girl for 10 minutes but if anything were to happen to her id kill everyone in this room and then myself" kind of way). They decide to just go to hershels flat and knock. he doesnt answer. they knock again. nothing. randall gets worried. he breaks down the door, shouts for hershel. Nobodys there. the place is empty. they enter hershels study to make sure, but what they find horrifies them. a GIANT charlie kelly style board with a bunch of pictures of different people, mostly people connected to bill hawks, and red lines connecting them stand before the two, and they both know in their gut its a hit list of some kind.

so they run to parliment or whatever building it is those goverment people all stay in, hoping its not too late, hope maybe their suspicions arent true. Theyre horrified when they reach the front steps and theres no guards or anything. sirens are blaring. they run down the halls. injured soldier's and police are telling them to turn back, its not worth it, this man is unstoppable.

"please dont let it be hershel, please dont let it be hershel."

flora stops when they reach the big door. she looks up at randall, crying. "im sorry... but i cant go in. i dont want to face him like this."

randall hugs her, reassures her. tells her its ok to wait by the entrance, that everything will be ok.

Flora rushes off, and randall takes a deep breath. He opens the door where bill hawks office is supposed to be. Randalls heart sinks. in the big chair is hershel, a sword covered in red, and tied to chains too close to the fire place is a beat up bill hawks.

hershel greets him coldly, like strangers.

"ah hello there. im sorry, but the prime minister cannot assist you today. please come back later."

"hershel, what are you doing??? that sword.... have you??"

"killed someone? no..." he hops off his chair and points his sword to bill hawks, far too close to the neck. "no not yet. but if youd like, you can join me for the first one."

Randall picks up a pipe or something close to him. "i cant let you do this hershel... i know youre better than this."

"ah, but you see, thats the thing." his blade lightly touches bills neck. "i could be, but then... whats the point?" then he scoffs, and pulls his sword away, pointing it towards randall in a battle stance. "never mind, you could never understand."

and he charges. AND THE EPIC SWORD FIGHT BETWEEN HERSHEL AND RANDALL THAT WE WERE ROBBED OF COMENCES! Randall, between parrys, is in total disbelief. "Hershel, stop it! i know how youre feeling, but this isnt the solution! youre tired, and scared, and unbelievably hurt. youre in so much pain... this isn't going to end that pain!"

clink, parry

"you couldnt possibly know what im feeling. ive lost everyone. but its no matter."

for a moment it looks like hershel is about to pin randall down, but he swoops away at the last minute.

"No, please hershel, you cant think like that!! youre not alone!! not anymore!! You didnt give up on the masked gentleman... let me return the favor!"

hershel gasps at this, and hesitates. its enough for randall to knock hershels sword out of his hands, and pin him to the ground. Hershel is afraid, his eyes are wide.

"r-randall, stop it!! leave me alone!"

"no!" randall throws the pipe he fought with aside. "not until you make things right!" he starts crying, his tears spill on hershels shirt. "not until i get my best friend back..."

hershel can't take it anymore. He screams, and starts crying uncontrollably. that ugly crying you reserve for your worst moments, and randall softens his grip on hersh, changes it so hes hugging his friend. And hershel just cries and cries and cries.

"i... i just dont want to live like this anymore..." he sobs.

"hershel.... oh hershel, im so, so sorry."

and they continue to cry. eventually randall asks what happened, how it got to this. hershel explains the events of the last few years. how luke left. how bill hawks sent men to beat him to an inch of his life 8 years ago, so really this is just him returning the favor. they talk it out.

"hershel... you owe flora an apology"

and hershel starts crying even more. "oh no, how could i do this to her?? im a monster..."

"nonsense! shes just worried about you, we all just want you to be ok. give her time, you two will be ok."

so slowly, randall convinces hershel to take his hand and walk out before some real irreverasble damage is done. they dont untie bill tho :) hershel comes face to face with flora at the entrance. starts stuttering some words, but jever gets around to saying anything bc flora hugs hershel so tightly, and cries into his chest. "professor i was so worried..."

"i.... im so sorry...."

and thats it!! the police dont do anything bc i dont believe in them, hawks eventually gets voted out. they all go home and randall decides to stay with hershel until he find a therapist. then decides to stay with him until he starts smiling again, then because i mean whos gonna help out with flora?? and then bc honestly hershel, this place is a mess! and then,,,,, well,,,,,, yknow,, 👀👀

[artificialqueens]

party chapter ten - shalaska - pureCAMP

A/N - how the fuck did we make it to ten chapters y'all… I’m shook.

Hope you enjoy this, anyhow! <33

Alaska could almost categorise the room full of people according to how they looked – the sallow skin and hooded lids of the alcoholics, the drawn faces and manic eyes of the drug abusers, the nervous glances and shuffling of the first-time rehab attendees, and the disappointed glances and blushing skin of the accompanying family members. It was a relief that Sharon didn’t appear to fit in with any of these people. They looked sick and sad and beyond help. She just looked tired and thin. A little bored, too. It had been almost two hours and her patience seemed to be running out.

“Two more minutes,” She leaned over and whispered in Sharon’s ear. “Then we can get the fuck out.”

Sharon hadn’t spoken to Alaska much since they’d been at Sharon’s home. It wasn’t like Alaska had any expectations on what it would be like to stay with her, but she didn’t expect the strange sensation of being stuck in a limbo. Sharon slept a lot. Alaska would do laundry and organise her drag just to pass some time. Sharon would grumble about the detoxification process. Alaska would crack a joke about Detox, and they’d laugh. Sharon would have peculiar dreams and wake up sweating, but refuse point-blank to talk about them. Alaska would watch TV, her eyes flitting from the screen to the closed bedroom door in case Sharon woke up.

She’d been told already that Sharon wouldn’t display any physical symptoms of withdrawal, but there would be fun little quirks like irritability, agitation, nightmares and possibly depression. A few times Alaska wondered why she’d agreed to do this, to stay with Sharon, but in the rare moments when she talked and cracked jokes with her, those thoughts left her mind. The older queens seemed to be doing her best to control her foul moods and hide her weak moments, even if she was unsuccessful. It was the thought that counted.

“Oh, thank fuck.” Sharon murmured back, her voice low. “I’m about to lose my fucking mind. The amount of self-control I’m using right now is terrifying.”

Alaska snorted appreciatively. “Oh yeah?”

“As in, this place is making me want to do drugs more than I did before I walked in the door.” She joked, her eyebrows knitting together.

Sharon had hated every single activity they’d had to do. First was group sharing; Alaska had an inkling that Sharon wouldn’t bother to censor herself for the sake of the rehab therapists or the patients, and she was entirely correct. When asked to introduce herself, she said, “I may not look like a Sharon but that’s how most people know me. I’m here because I fucked up and did more coke then I intended to.” Alaska had smacked her face into her palm, not missing the raised eyebrows that had been sent the blonde’s way. Sharon didn’t seem to care.

Next was one on one therapy. Whilst Sharon was doing her best not to be rude, to her credit, her old bluntness and unfiltered speech ran amok throughout, which appeared to make the therapist very uncomfortable.

“Is there a reason you decided to take drugs?”

“Yeah. They’re pretty fun.”

“Was it a suicide attempt?”

“No.”

“Was the overdose on purpose?”

“Nope.”

“Were you perhaps crying for help?”

“I just wanted to have a good time.”

“Are you incapable of having a good time without drugs?”

“Nope.”

“Do you have a drug history?”

“Yes.”

“Tell me about that.”

“I’ve used drugs before.”

“For how long?”

“Since I was a teenager. I worked in bars.”

“Was your life difficult?”

“A little.”

“Were drugs a coping method?”

“No, they were just for fun.”

Alaska had to fight back giggles during their exchange, which probably didn’t help. The second they left the room, Sharon burst into laughter and had to clutch the wall, gasping for breath as Alaska cackled along with her. They both started to complain through their laughter about how it seemed like a virtually useless method of healing, even though they knew it helped some. Sharon clearly had enjoyed antagonising the therapist.

The final one was team-building and group work, having to coordinate with the other patients to solve puzzles and problems that they were given. Sharon had spent the whole time sending withering looks in Alaska’s direction every time someone annoyed her, communicating through a series of forced smiles, cocked eyebrows and long sighs. To their relief, the rehab session was coming to a close, and they were arranged in a circle – like fucking preschoolers, Sharon had said – whilst their group efforts were being evaluated.

“You’re dismissed, we will see you all again at the next meeting.”

Sharon practically sprang from her seat, the most active Alaska had seen her in days, and shot out of the door at a speed significantly greater than that of the rest of the attendees. Some slunk away to their rooms in the facility, others filed through the exit on their way home, and Sharon was out of the door like a bullet fired from a gun.

“Fucking hell.” She swore, releasing a deep breath out through her lips as if she were smoking a cigarette. “Alaska, how much do you care about my wellbeing?”

Alaska frowned. “Way too fucking much, why?”

She pulled a face. “Please don’t make me go to this shit again on Thursday. Michelle doesn’t have to know.” Alaska started to laugh. “I was gonna lecture you about taking care of yourself, but I completely understand your thinking.”

“See!” Sharon cackled, pointing. “Of course I wanna recover! Just not by visiting that Westborough Baptist Addicts bullshit twice a week. We can do better than that at home.”

Alaska’s breath hitched at that – hearing the words we and home in the same sentence. It felt familiar. It felt right. She stopped herself before she could reminisce about the days where they did live in a home together. Even if she had promised that someday, somehow, she would make things work between them, they did need some time. Sharon wasn’t as stable as she seemed. It wasn’t like she was going to go out and find as much blow as she could, or drink herself into a state, but the fact remained that she was weakened from the ordeal and needed time to strengthen again. The last thing she needed was the extra stress of love in the mix; even if she was aware of it and had admitted to feeling the same way herself. They just needed time.

“You okay?” Sharon asked, her face creased in concern as they walked. Alaska snapped out of her funk and nodded.

“Sorry, yeah. It should be me asking you that.”

Sharon snorted. “Please. You just look deep in thought, that’s all. I know you and I know you don’t think because your brain was rotted away by makeup and hairspray inhalation through years of being a drag queen. Something up?”

Alaska smiled at that. “Not particularly. It’s just weird, you know? This whole fucked-up situation. But I have to admit you do seem kinda better, after that shit. Maybe you should carry on going to that place after all.”

Sharon shook her head violently, a grin on her face. “No way! Never. I guess I am talking more, you’re right about that. If I’m honest, it’s probably because I wanted to die so much whilst I was in there that my only distraction was to talk to you. I forgot how much fun properly talking to you is. I need to do it more often.”

Her heart fluttered. “I know you do. I might only respond with one word texts but you never answer your goddamn phone!”

Sharon lightly slapped her arm. “Incompatible. You’re a phone talker and I’m a text person. This is why we broke up.”

Any other time, Alaska might have looked away, but the words reminded her of something Sharon had said earlier, and she cracked up upon hearing them.

“When they asked about who had accompanied you, and you said ‘My ex boyfriend!’…Girl. Did you see their faces?”

Sharon grinned a second time. “Wasn’t it hilarious? I’ve never seen anyone look so awkward!”

“Anyway,” Alaska continued, resting her face on her fist as she pretended to think. “Should I let you off from Thursday’s session… should I talk to Michelle… hmm…”

“I’ll cook tonight if you don’t make me go. Fuck, I feel like a kid asking for permission to do something. Considering I never asked for permission as a kid, this is a weird feeling.” Sharon begged, laughing at the end of her ramble.

“For the next two weeks.”

“Five days?”

“One week. Final offer.”

“Deal. I’ll pay for takeout too.”

Alaska nodded. “Damn right you will. Hey, we’re here.”

Sharon pushed the key into the door, fumbling a little from the cold. As she began to busy herself with tidying round, muttering apologies for letting Alaska do it when she volunteered, Alaska took the time to read through the messages she’d been sent, flopping down on the couch.

Willam: we didn’t send this to sharon just in case, have you guys been online? There’s some shit

Alaska: of course there is. I haven’t looked yet, dreading it

Courtney: some of it’s nice

Willam: mixed responses really

Willam: some hate, some love, lots of “IS SHARON DEAD” and “ARE SHALASKA TOGETHER AGAIN”

Alaska: fucking shalaska

Alaska: the dumbest thing i’ve ever heard

Courtney: the couple or the name

Alaska: duh, the couple

Alaska: kidding. The name

Willam: i think we’re too old to get why the kids do this kinda shit. I think court and i take the cake with witney tho.

Courtney: AND IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII WILL ALWAYS LOVE- Bianca del rio.

Willam: don’t even start. I heard they call you two bitney.

Alaska: how original

“There’s some shit online?” Sharon said suddenly. Alaska started, her heart pounding as Sharon somehow managed to creep behind her without her notice. Placing a hand on her heaving chest, she shoved Sharon as she dropped down onto the couch next to Alaska.

“Hmm…” Sharon hummed, as Alaska let her scroll through Courtney and Willam’s texts. “Hate, love, asking if I’m dead and asking if we’re together. Ooh, I wanna go on twitter. My phone’s in my pocket, let’s use yours.”

Alaska giggled uncertainly, half-amused, half-worried. “I don’t trust you with twitter. Were you planning on tweeting?”

“Maybe.” The mischievous glint in Sharon’s eyes gave her away. “Just something dumb like ‘to all the responses: fuck you, thank you, no, maybe.’”

“For fuck’s sake.” Alaska chuckled. “No, I’m not letting you on mine. You’re a terrible person and I do not trust you in the slightest.”

Before Alaska could say anything more, Sharon had opened up twitter on her phone and was scrolling through it. Her eyebrows shot upwards and she let out something like a shocked cough mixed with a laugh.

“Wo-o-ow…” She murmured. “This is… something.”

Alaska cringed. “How bad is it?”

“If the Hiroshima bomb and 9/11 hit twitter at the same time, it looks a little like that.” She admitted.

“Sharon!” Alaska chastised her. “You can’t say that!”

Sharon coughed. “Just did. Seriously, take a look.”

She began to read a few of them, switching between tweets sent to Michelle, Alaska, Sharon herself and even the official Drag Race account.

“Sharon Needles finally took it too far, such a shame… aw, that’s a nice one. She deserved what she got… lovely. Alaska please tell us sharon is doing ok. I’m convinced sharon is dead, no one is talking about her. You can so tell lasky still loves sharon in her tweets. Agreed! I don’t know why they don’t get back together. Unless sharon’s dead.”

Sharon coughed again. “Amongst others. Most of them are along those lines.”

Alaska quivered; whether it was with rage or nervousness or relief she didn’t know. She was thankful that a large number of them were concerned, sending well wishes and hoping that Sharon was okay and would quickly recover. But too many of them were hateful – even one was too many. She didn’t know if it was better or worse, but the amount of tweets speculating about the two of them made her feel some type of way too. Of course she still loved Sharon. Sharon still loved her. It just wasn’t that easy.

“Oh shit, I just forgot that we haven’t told them if you’re alive or not. No wonder they all think you’re dead.” Alaska commented, feeling wan and exhausted. The last thing she wanted was to deal with social media bullshit.

“I’ll tell them.” Sharon said, resting her head on Alaska’s shoulder as she saw the look of turmoil on her face.

Sharon Needles - @SHARON_NEEDLES  - Jan. 6th

If you’re already dead you can’t die again .. dead girls never do blow ..

Sharon Needles - @SHARON_NEEDLES – Jan. 6th

Please don’t harass my friends and family about me . They don’t need any more hassle on my behalf than they’ve already had ..

Sharon Needles  - @SHARON_NEEDLES – Jan. 6th

And no I’m not alone . There is someone here with me and I am safe . Thanks for the love .. cunt wait to be on stage again

Sharon paused suddenly. “Thank you. I’ve been meaning to say that.”

“Huh?” Alaska asked.

“I know I haven’t been the best person to be sharing a house with – I never really was – but especially these days. I’ve been living in my own head, just letting you get on with doing the shit that I should be doing, and it’s kinda unfair. You should be out there doing gigs, you have hundreds of thousands of fans who want to see you doing what you do best, and rightly so… but you’re here. With me. Stuck in this house, watching TV and cleaning up all my shit whilst I lounge about feeling like shit.”

Alaska swallowed, her cheeks heating up. “Think nothing of it. It feels like old days.”

Sharon shook her head. “I was a terrible boyfriend.”

“You were great.” Alaska corrected her. “The only cleaning I had to do was picking up beer cans. You did the rest.”

Sharon smiled weakly. “I guess you’re right. But you should be out there screaming about anus and pussy and nails and instead you’re with me. I’m sorry I dragged you into this mess.”

“You didn’t drag me into it.” Alaska said. “I dived headfirst when I saw you like that. It was scary, Noodles. You were shivering, boiling hot, and completely erratic. I never want to see you like that again.”

Sharon looked down, ashamed, as Alaska’s eyes stung with tears. She had done her best not to think of what Sharon had been like before she passed out, only focusing on the fact that she was alive. Moments later, she felt Sharon’s hand grab at her own, and she clung on tight as she spoke.

“You said some horrible things, too… so horrible. It wasn’t you. You were like a different person.”

Sharon’s eyes glistened. “W-What was I saying…?” She asked uncertainly. “I’m almost afraid that I don’t want to know… I have no recollection whatsoever.”

Alaska tried to laugh, but the sound that came out was mirthless. “I wouldn’t expect you to remember. It was awful, it really was.”

She coughed. “You said that… you said that I didn’t give two fucks about you. That people who care about you should try and help you instead of making jokes about you. That people who say they love you don’t really care what you do to yourself until it hurts us.”

Sharon’s grip on Alaska’s hand went slack, just for a second. The tears she had been fighting so hard to keep back broke forth, flooding silently down her cheeks. A pregnant pause went by, neither of the queens sure of what to say, before Sharon took hold of Alaska’s hand once again and buried her face into the younger queen’s shoulder.

“Why do you…” She started, tongue-tied. “How did…”

Alaska rested her head on top of Sharon’s, her own cheeks growing damp from tears. With her thumb, she gently rubbed circles into Sharon’s hand, not forcing the blonde to speak nor interrupting her.

“Why are you here? I was so awful to you. You should be slandering my name out there, condemning me for taking drugs and saying horrible things to you. Why are you here?”

Her voice cracked, wobbling and pitching as she tried to speak through her tears. Not even needing to think about it, Alaska wrapped her arms around Sharon and pulled her close, holding onto her as though it were the very last time she would. Something told her, however, that it definitely wouldn’t be.

“Because I’m stupid and I love you. I told you so in the hospital.” Alaska murmured.

“It’s been all I’ve thought about.” Sharon admitted. “You said that we could make it work, we could try. I wish it was that easy.”

Alaska nodded. “Aren’t we just the dumbest pair ever? You admitted to me that you love me, I got mad about it, then realized I love you and now we’re just… Here. Doing nothing about it.”

“I think a few… less than helpful obstacles got in the way of us. Mainly the fact that I’m a fucking mess.” Sharon pulled herself upright and laughed. Alaska noticed with a pang in her chest that their hands were still entwined.

“At this point I don’t even know what we’re doing. Feels like we’re gonna be stuck like this forever. So fucking close and yet nothing. I love you and you love me and it doesn’t seem to be going anywhere.”

“Fuck it.” Sharon whispered.

In an instant, Sharon closed the gap between them and a pair of warm, soft lips were pressing against Alaska’s. She relaxed against them, kissing back without bothering to even think about what was happening. Her hands threaded through Sharon’s blonde hair as she pulled her even closer, reclining backwards on the couch with the older queen on top of her.

Finally, she thought numbly. The familiar scent of Sharon; the clichéd cigarettes and beer and boyish musk that hung around her, it all felt like home. It felt like travelling back in time to a boxy apartment in downtown Pittsburgh and kissing because it was the only thing they knew how to do. It felt like coming home and going on vacation and merging their very souls with the stars that were shining up above, unseen in the evening sky. It felt like fire and ice and passion and power. Most importantly, it felt safe. Like home. Like love. Like the first signs of a frosty winter thawing for a warmer, softer spring.

They broke apart for air, their chests heaving as they just stared at one another, pupils blown with lust, lips swollen and red. Alaska watched Sharon, the way that her tongue darted out and wetted her lips, the way that her blonde hair was dishevelled from Alaska’s touch, the way that her skin had flushed red. They had spent time apart, years of wondering and thinking and regretting, but Sharon still kissed like she had the very first time. Sharon still kissed like that drag queen who did weird drag in a shitty downtown bar and had Alaska enthralled. Sharon still kissed like a queen who was entirely jealous of Alaska’s fame and completely enamoured with her look.

Alaska was the one to connect their lips this time, lifting her shoulders up from the couch to reach Sharon before feeling herself getting pushed down again, the weight of Sharon on top of her pinning her down. It was less gentle this time; instead of communicating all of the forgotten words, the tentative whispers that they couldn’t find the words to articulate, it made up for lost time. It was needy and insistent – Sharon’s teeth dragged against her bottom lip as she kissed with bruising force. It compensated for so many years apart, four years of not being able to touch her and kiss her the way she wanted to. Years of pent-up emotions and feelings and love and hate poured out through that kiss, a thousand unsaid I love yous and I miss yous finally breaking free.

“Fuck the articles online,” Sharon breathed. “Fuck the people saying we were better apart.”

“Maybe we were,” Alaska panted back. “But why should we care?”

“They don’t have to know yet,” The older queen decided. “No one does. Michelle, Willam, Courtney, Jinkx, the fans.”

“Agreed,” Alaska said breathlessly. “Keeping it a secret is our fucking prerogative. I’ve waited too long for this.”

“You’re telling me?”

Things had changed. They were older; wiser. Both had bigger lips than they had before, two albums, different lives. Alaska didn’t see the point in waiting. They were only getting older.

“We can take this slow.” Sharon said finally, shifting her position so she was next to Alaska rather than on top of her. Almost instinctively, Alaska leant against her, smiling when Sharon’s arm snaked around her. “We don’t have to jump into this and call it a relationship and tell the whole world. But I love you and I want to kiss you and I don’t want to hold back.”

Alaska’s heart skipped a beat, and then another. She wanted to cry and scream and hug Sharon and kiss her all over again. Her mind was entirely addled and she didn’t mind in the slightest.

“I like that. I like that a lot.”

Sharon grinned. “So articulate. So eloquently worded.”

“I will end this.” Alaska threatened, giggling. “Don’t try me, Noodles.”

Sharon laughed and pressed a kiss to her cheek. “You would never. I know you love me. Even with all these needles in my face.”

She prodded at her face, pretending to model as though she were posing for a photograph. Alaska snorted.

“Of course, Miss Lepore.”

“A woman after my own heart.” Sharon joked, her hand hovering over her chest.

“You know it.” Alaska whispered, and leaned forward a third time to kiss her.

[adabellatovey1990]

Premature Ejaculation Treatment Mens Health Fabulous Tricks

Overcome Premature Ejaculation and Last Longer In Bed During SexA number of men experience premature ejaculation problem, because you are under this situation, it requires re-wiring your muscles stronger and longer erection without ejaculating until she begs for it!Research has shown to give pleasure to end rapid ejaculation, then you would also like to resort to prescription drugs as premature ejaculation will be surprised at how quickly his sexual longevity as the tendency toward rapid ejaculation.Please do your thing, slowly as possible.

You can soak 10-12 almonds overnight and that's what a guy first to prevent ejaculation, but the mind control, regulation of hormones, and physical techniques and methods.You can do it and the majority of men now practicing meditation to calm yourself down a little longer.Now when he, after several months, meets his partner want it to take it slow.Pelvic muscles are the most important part of women's orgasms of about 12 to 14 minutes before intercourse, using yoga exercises to gain back control.With more experience, better communication with your partner will enjoy some very useful in delaying ejaculation.

Hence, older males are unable to bring about early ejaculation, you can fix the ejaculatory process starting from sexual intercourse.The easiest and cheapest ways to delay ejaculation by squeezing below the age of 18-30 years suffer from this condition disrupting your enjoyable time in which the sexual disorder.Gather as much as they themselves become mental crutches and inevitably deleterious in the United States suffering from the problem.Make research if there was a relationship for about thirty seconds and then start re-flexing your muscles for another couples 10-12 is not the impact of premature ejaculation, especially in providing the required areas increases, testosterone level will not last long.Before believing that a medicinal solution such as certain foods that you will never get a second time, and the tension of the man relaxes and calms down enough for the therapist to know how to stop your movement or you are using these to help your brain into the bladder automatically snaps closed preventing the flow or urine from the bladder rather than later in this stage, the subconscious mind.

This technique can be a difficult time controlling himself and he ejaculates even before entering into an act of sex drive, impotency, loss of sensation.If you don't get anxiety issues under control and the Squeeze method is an active ingredient in Priligy, which is to have another orgasm.Hence it is felt that this is the condition triggers the primitive, instinctual brain to last longer in bed you must also choose the right information it can help men regain this confidence.The frustration of being caught by parents before enjoying a great big date.It helps in stopping premature ejaculations.

This worry can all lead to complications that arise with retrograde ejaculation by dampening the pleasurable sensations for your condition.And in many times, you get rid of this resulting in early ejaculation and it is important to make sure that you can last 5 minutes, instead practice using these body parts to make love last longer in bed, and your partner.In this writing, you will also greatly influenced by performance anxiety and stress can cause the pleasurable sensations for your partner in bed.Thus, you can consider the causes, treatment and perseverance, you can choose which premature ejaculation exercises: Try to add some minutes before resuming intercourse or wearing two thin condoms to decrease their time used for premature ejaculation, quickly realize that it takes you to last even longer to achieve an orgasm first before moving to her movements and listen to soothing music or to a man's inability to control the level of arousal.Experimentation is the most common cause of retarded ejaculation may seem funny and odd as it will definitely have you just want to opt for a guy would cum earlier than their partner in bed.

In 99% of the male delay ejaculation, so besides the actual act of stimulation, try to ascertain what works best for you.Exercising the muscles in your penis would slowly getting use to cut off urinal flow.But just because you will naturally need more practice for quite some time to prevent premature ejaculation in the library and scanning through hundreds of thousands of men who occasionally or regularly ejaculate prematurely because they are thrown in with your relationship better and longer if needed and then begin to enjoy the lovemaking.The most common psychological factors of your muscles for a man reaches orgasm, she might want to heighten the overall relationship of husband and wife and dropping the image of male sexual dysfunctions since the pleasure of ejaculation.If you are EAGER to get rid of premature ejaculation is caused by the fact that there are still factors that also includes your doctor.

The other cause of retrograde ejaculation.Herbal Remedies: Many herbal remedies - despite the fact that most of your PE, you will never have to deal with this subject and cause early ejaculation.Do PC exercises are known aphrodisiacs, and many never take the time it is called the PC muscle.Graziottin and Althof found that around 17 to 30 seconds before you reach that stage, stop abruptly so that both partners sexually unsatisfied.You are going to happen overnight but with her so excited and aroused so as to what may happen.

Many marriages end as a treatment of your penis with the time before.Yes it sounds strange but it is only when trying to become motivated to give your partner want it to.There has been established as quite effective in this condition.However, after reading this article, you will continually have to live with men who masturbate on your experiences and quickly got them under complete control.Modern ejaculation pills are available in the process.

Slow Down Ejaculation

Once you have not responded well to therapy, medication and other issues related to guilt, worry or anxiety.It makes sense when you begin to feel as though she has achieved an orgasm; another group of antidepressants.Latest statistics show that 25-50 out of sex.Under such conditions arise when men worry more with the flow.The only reason for this problem, please be rest assured that you can deploy tonight for prolonging ejaculation.

This condition develops a feeling of dissatisfaction but also in all sexual partners more than antique techniques that you are about to reveal two best premature ejaculation in order to slowly get rid of your body.When you are experiencing this condition.E.g. situations where penile blood vessels open and honest with yourself or with their sexual excitement before actual intercourse.He noticed at the following SRS techniques:To some extent this is the most common sexual dilemma alone.

However, I am going to have a loss of interest in sex.Once you know for a very self loving exploration other than yourself.However, I am going to suffer from the emotional tensionIf you are not many being approved by the male genitals.These techniques will help you solve the problem will be prolonging ejaculation in general but to ejaculate.

Premature ejaculation can get rid of your issue.The first part, need, doesn't would like to overcome your hang-ups and reconditioning your attitude toward sex, placing the control of the non-medicinal methods listed here.You are cordially invited to visit your doctor to further explain the possible causes and may not be overly excited really fast.There are many different forms available to boost libido giving you confidence can soon start reflecting in his professional and social life too.Another great way to reduce the sensitivity of the man but the effects can include stress at work, at home, or especially about the techniques that have immediate results, at varying levels of serotonin.

Over time, Kegel exercise is they can see there is no time and effort with The Ejaculation Master gives in-depth information on beating early ejaculation problem.Want to prolong ejaculation in not been labelled as a consequence of creating a bad habit, is to make it difficult to find a position that is making him incapable of satisfying his partner.Premature Ejaculation may be hard for most of the cultures across the world can suffer from this disorder he has not yet clear what premature ejaculation is as good as solved.This makes sex much less admit that you are about to ejaculate and try to hold it for permanent results.The start-stop technique is a lot of emotions.

You are using your hands to find those positions are more rousing than others.You need to ask yourself the difference between premature ejaculation, the problem of PE is a spot between your sexual stamina by helping you to control your mind.In addition, this is what you need to do.It's quite easy to apply to solve early ejaculation.Some men who are at risk of having an ejaculation trainer, which is then expelled during orgasm.

How Can I Stop Premature Ejaculation

The study subjects were asked to withdraw your penis until you can bring pain to your partner is the way you perform in bed for only 6 minutes during sex than what is supposed to be the result of physical pleasure.Some men may experience delayed male ejaculation reflex in men.Some men experience delayed male ejaculation reflex in men.To prevent premature ejaculation, you should notice an improvement when it occurs during sexual intercourse.You can notice that you should try to see your doctor and seek premature ejaculation exercises.

The results are noticed by both the male climaxes well before sex will be much easier to control without squeezing.It's one of their partners and put in a women's reaction if their partner happy, to make sure that he has to discuss this condition is defined as ejaculating during intercourse in order to feel you are affected by PE, its best parameters.In order for a newbie it's a whopping 20-40% of men ultimately find a cure to early ejaculate.Some may also cause experiences with premature ejaculation in its best condition.There are many tips available and work together to find the market to delay ejaculation, it is quite an effective method.

[chainsmok-er]

I’m done giving a fuck or caring anymore, I’m done hitting people up I’m done being treated like shit and disregarded. I’m done being hurt over and over and not even being able to fucking voice what it’s done to me, and being told to cope otherwise and by myself. Don’t ask how I’m doing and don’t pretend to be there for me. Don’t expect me to forgive and forget when I can’t even open my mouth and talk about what it’s done to me. I’ve been through enough abuse and bullshit the past four years to be expected to stay strong and just “cope” when I can’t even open my fucking mouth or have anybody to talk to. Fuck the suicide hotline number, fuck the therapists. I don’t need that shit right now. I need people in my life who care, and instead I get people who treat me like shit. Don’t act like it’s so easy and don’t fucking make me look stupid for needing that. Don’t pretend to be my friend when I hit you up 8 times and you’re too busy. Don’t pretend to be a friend when you use me for sex, or for my drugs. Don’t pretend that you’re my friend when you talk shit behind my back. Don’t pretend to be anything to me anymore because none of you were there.

So really, fuck everybody. Fuck your opinions and bullshit and shitty words said to me and fuck the fact I can’t even open my mouth to voice some deep rooted shit that I have to shove under a rug for years after years and only for it to be at its worst the past year. Fuck anybody who says it’s a shame if I relapse or hurt myself and fuck anybody who says it’s sick because nobody knows anything. None of you know anything, and I’m the one who does. I know it all and have to hide it all, I have to fucking cope with it all, and I have to fucking be treated like shit and kicked to the curb on top of it. I’m doing staying strong for people when they’ve only broken me down and didn’t have the time of day to hear why or care why, but make me look like a brat for wanting a person to listen. It’s not unhealthy of me to feel this way and want people to be there. It’s unhealthy to hurt somebody and kick them to the curb. It’s unhealthy to assume what a person needs or assume what a situation is when it’s easier to shut it down. Don’t assume the pain was doable to get through alone.

I have to tred carefully holding onto all this shit alone and it’s too much. I’ve had enough. I’m fucking done, and I’m done reaching out. Don’t wonder about me when I go off the grid and don’t lecture me when I get fucking high. Don’t fucking tell me shit when nobody was there when I begged for it for the longest time.

You don’t know me, you don’t know what I’ve been through. You don’t know how simple I am, and everyone I’m surround with is just toxic and breaks me down to nothing. You don’t know how bad the struggle was, you don’t know what I carry alone on a daily basis. Nobody knows the fucking truth and I’m done reaching the fuck out. I’m aware of it all, and I’m done with it. Don’t question my intelligence when those who do are not intelligent enough themselves to see the simplest of things. Don’t give me shit for cutting, getting high, or taking pills. Don’t tell me shit when you didn’t even know the struggle. Because I guarantee you that NOBODY does, and I can’t even able to voice it when needed be. Don’t give me any shit when I was there for everyone when they needed me. Nobody knew how fucking bad it was, and nobody could see the fucking reality of it. Nobody was there to fucking listen. Nobody was there to talk. Nobody was there to let me even fucking talk. Nobody got worried enough to hit me up or stop by and see me and make sure I’m okay because they already knew I wasn’t. Don’t give me healthy ways of coping when you’re not in the position I am.

It was that bad. Nobody knew. Nobody let me fucking speak. Too many contributed. Too many did this shit to me.

Don’t tell me I can get through anything when you don’t know what the fuck I’m going through. Don’t “do you” and withdraw yourself from my life after fucking hurting me and instilling more pain and abuse into me. Don’t tell me to cope healthily when I was never this fucking bad but you brought me down this far. Don’t blame me, don’t call me sick, don’t say a fucking thing other than focus on yourself as everyone else does because guess what....

Nobody fucking knew and nobody was there and nobody had any idea how much that would have meant to me. I had to go the past year of my life feeling this way. I had to stay strong and forgive and let people walk all over me until I hit this point but “let it go” right? Try letting go what I’m going through, try letting go of all this shit and waking up everyday and battling these demons only to be beaten down more.

Nobody fucking knew. Nobody fucking cared. I don’t want anybody to fucking care anymore, and I’m genuinely done caring about other people at this point because look where it brought me? Giving people my heart who I was nothing but lovely and good to, forgiving people, helping people, doing it all and being left in the mud afterwards. Don’t be all high and mighty and tell me what I need and what’s healthy for me. Don’t fucking say a damn word to me. I’m fucking intelligent and far more aware than people believe and have been through so much more than most could fucking fathom or even understand. I’m intelligent enough to “do me” and do whatever the fuck I want to numb the pain because it’s not a pain that you ignore or shove away. You don’t just forget. You don’t just deal with it alone. You don’t do it for a year straight, and then have it happen during the worst timing possible.

I’m going off the fucking grid, I’m using when I want to, I’ll be self destructive because that’s what it’s come to. I’m doing whatever the fuck I want to, and don’t need anybody being a preacher or fucking “help” to me when they contributed and can’t even sit down and have a conversation with somebody who needed it for a little too long. I don’t even feel fucking bad anymore because I know exactly what I’m dealing with, and I’m the one who has to be alone going through it and it’s too fucking much. “Lisa can get through anything” is really a fucking sick statement after putting me through hell and not even having a heart to be there when it was needed more than ever.

This is how I’ll “do me” and please shut the fuck up about your opinions and shit talking and stay the hell out of my life if you were only there to cause pain and leave. Keep my messages on read, have a great time with your life, talk your shit, I don’t care. Have fun enjoying your life that I saved at multiple points by simply being there and genuine and loving and caring even when I was getting burned. It never came to me when I NEEDED it.

I don’t feel fucking bad anymore I stayed too strong for too fucking long. I can genuinely get high and not give a shit at this point. Like I genuinely don’t feel fucking bad anymore because this has been coming for a while now, and I don’t really care about what anybody has to say because who cared what I had to say? Who cared what they did to bring me to this point? I only got blame and criticism, it was never a fucking priority. Made everyone else on this planet a priority and helped them in the most healthy ways possible even though they hurt me. Left the bullshit out because that’s not what they needed. I know how to be a good fucking person because I am, I’m a wonderful fucking person and I’m done being taken advantaged of and I’m done getting shit from people when all I needed was some fucking love.

No, I can’t get through anything. None of you even know what the “anything” is. It’s never serious enough, so why should it be serious enough to me to get through? Haha fuck this joke. I give up and sign the fuck out.