#or will there be a story connecting the universes

[tigerpearlsworld]

Pick a card

What kind of power, influence, and lasting impact do you have on someone when you're in a relationship with them?

Before you choose a pile, take a moment to breathe deeply and connect with your intuition. This is a general pick-a-card reading, where the universe's infinite energies align with your path to bring you the guidance you need.

Know that you can only choose one pile. The message you receive is not just for you to resonate with, but for you to realize in time as the truth unfolds in your journey. To truly receive your message, you must follow your heart’s instinct, not your expectations. Look beyond the surface and see what your soul is trying to reveal to you.

How to Choose Your Card:

Breathe in deeply. Breathe out slowly.

Light a candle or incense, and clear your mind.

Meditate on the beating of your heart, allowing your thoughts to flow naturally.

Let go of doubts, and trust what your heart is guiding you towards.

Close your eyes, visualize a light forming in your heart, and feel its pull.

When you open your eyes, choose the image that your heart calls to the most.

For some of you maybe number, colour, or image will help.

A Final Message for You: Your heart is your guide, not your mind. Surrender to the wisdom that lies within you.

And for those who are seeking answers about love, fate, and destiny, I send my prayers to the stars to bless you with clarity, strength, and the energy to embrace your path.

May you receive what you are meant to know.

(Choose the pile:)

Pile 1: Hellhound

Pile 2: thunderbird

Pile 3: unicorn

Pile 4: Devil

The reading starts. . .

Pile 1:

Words which were coming for you as I start the reading:

(Intense, Destruction, Rebirth, Shadow, Depth,Passion, Truth, Raw,Fire, Darkness, Strength, Unforgettable,Haunting,Unshakable, Silent Storm, Reckoning,Depths of Love, Immovable Presence)

Vibes: You can't hide

Animal: panther

In the heart of your presence, there is a fire—one that does not simply burn for the sake of warmth, but for creation for something Deep for something more. You are not just a lover but....you are an initiator of change, a force that seeps into the marrow of the person you entwine your fate with. No wonder the panther came for you. There is something about you that does not just exist in their life—you carve yourself into the very fabric of their being, embedding your essence into their growth, their thoughts, their soul’s quiet corners where no one else has ever reached.

When you enter someone’s life, it is as if the water within them meets a great wave. They do not remain stagnant. You stir them, you awaken them. Your love has a purity that cleanses, but in its purity, it also carries the weight of depth. Though there is a softness in you, a nurturing spirit that gives without hesitation, yet within that giving, there is also a demand—a silent expectation that they rise to meet you in the same depth you offer. Not everyone can bear the weight of such love, for love with you is not simply about companionship; it is about transformation.

You walk with balance, with a knowing that love is not only passion but also patience.Yet in that balance there is also discipline your love does not coddle illusions. You push them to see themselves, to understand their own structure to stand firmly within their own power. You teach them responsibility both for themselves and for the connection they share with you.

With you anyone will face the echoes of their past, the unspoken truths they have long buried, and the unfinished stories they tried to escape from. Your love is a call to rise, to transform, to let go of what no longer serves them. Some may resist, some may struggle under the weight of the mirror you hold up to them, but none will leave unchanged.

I also feel you have a strong wall builded up around you like You do not give freely without expectation tbh....there is a quiet fear within you, a need to protect what is yours but also to hold tightly to what you cherish. And so, those who love you find themselves caught in this delicate balance between the openness of your giving and the quiet walls you build to shield your own heart. They will learn patience with you they will learn how to earn the trust that is not easily given and in that they will either find their own strength or crumble beneath the weight of what they cannot yet understand. You're passion is not for the faint of heart. As you're not for just anyone.

In matters of what power you hold in a relationship it's the fact that you have this unshakable presence....this unspoken but respected presence about yourself that lingers in their memories, in the lessons they carry, in the quiet moments where they realize that something within them has forever changed because of you. And that is something powerful and beautiful to have. And so.....when they think of you whether in the days of togetherness or in the years after your imprint remains. They will carry you in the way they love after you, in the standards they will never again lower in the strength they did not know they had until you showed them. You are not a passing presence but you are a catalyst a memory that breathes within them long after the last word is spoken.That is the power you hold. That is the influence you leave. That is the lasting impact of loving you.

Also as you have the animal panther it says that you do not love softly.....you love with depth, ferocity, and an unrelenting truth that strips away illusions. To be in a relationship with you is to face oneself raw, unfiltered, and exposed. There is no room for masks, no space for complacency. Your presence awakens something primal, something buried deep within the soul of the person you love. They may have spent their whole life hiding from parts of themselves, but with you, there is no escape.

In the end..... You are not a fleeting presence but you are the storm, the awakening, the quiet shadow that lingers in their soul long after they think they have forgotten. Loving you is not easy tbh. But it is unforgettable. And for those who survive the storm of your presence, they will emerge stronger, wiser, and forever changed.

A song which came for you

Pile 2:

Words which came for you as I start the reading:

(Unsettling, Haunting,Disruptive,Forbidden, Intoxicating, Reckoning, Depth, Chaos, Obsession,Fated, Undoing, Awakening, Introspection, Tragic Beauty)

Vibes: You belong to me

Animal: Moth

To love you is to step into a world of shadows where nothing hiddens for long. You do not simply touch someone’s life you pierce through it unraveling the quiet deceptions they tell themselves the illusions they have built and the truths they have long buried. There is a mystery to you a quiet depth that draws people in only for them to realize that being close to you means facing themselves in ways they never anticipated. But you're also a paradox that offers both chaos and clarity, both temptation and wisdom....like you are the whisper in the night that both soothes them but also the storm that both destroys.

Your love is not for the faint of hearts as because It demands balance but at times it tips the scales in ways that shake the foundation of the person you are with. You don't shy away from rocking the boat tbh I also see you may if need be flip the entire boat lol like......Some may resist, some may fight and some may struggle against the tide of your influence but they all in the end learn to surrender.

Though you yourself remain untamed independent not submitting to anything/anyone.....your independence both intrigues and unsettles the people who love you. You are not someone who loses yourself in a relationship but you make the other person lose themselve in the relationship while you remain whole, sovereign, untamed. You do not seek validation you embody it. You go at the beat of your drums.You don't ask for permission. But in your presence your partner finds themselves questioning their own stability....their own worth, their own significance like Do they have what it takes to stand beside you? Can they match your energy, your depth, your knowing? You do not tolerate mediocrity in love I see-you demand growth and ambition. Like you do not settle and you don't let the person who you're with settle either.

But there is also a battle war within you like you don't always find peace within yourself and this internal war may sometimes bleed into your relationships with its ugly head and claws. I also see there is a tendency for the lines between trust and doubt to blur for the weight of past wounds shape how you navigate intimacy. I also see you teaching your loved ones about discernment and illusion like how to be careful, how to be discerning, how to see through illusions-but in doing so you also teach them how it feels to be loved by someone who walks the line between trust and self-preservation.

As you have chosen the moth card it brings with itself the irresistible pull or tug. You cannot be ignore.... Although subtly but you influence the person in a consuming way... Making some even obsessed about the idea with you. But there again this thing comes the idea.... People fall for the idea of you for how they can mold you becoming molded in the process themselves as you remain burning and wild with your untamed energy. At first they may not even realize it tbh but you are the whisper in the dark, the thing they chase even when they don’t understand why. With you it's like a dream, a intoxication, a ultimate submission.... With you even if they got you close but for some reason you still feel far. Your love is like something they cannot hold but they never want to let go of either. Like I said before you're a paradox, a contrast.....You bring them both clarity and illusion, hope and recklessness. They learn through you the beauty of surrender of giving in to what they feel but they also learn the weight of chasing something they may never fully grasp.

In the end your love is a force that does not easily fade even if things fall apart even if the paths diverge....you are a wound and a revelation, a lesson and a longing. Things with you are always fated....they do not meet you by accident. You come into their world when something within the person must be shifted.....when something within them must be broken to be rebuilt, burned to be reborn. You are not just a chapter in their story but are the turning point, the plot twist, To be loved by you is to be rewritten.

A song which came for you

Pile 3:

Words which came for you as I start the reading:

(Phantom,Cosmic,Enigma, Awakening, Illusion,Sacred, Untamed, Ethereal,Mythical, Unseen, Unchained, Radiant, Elusive, Hidden, Oracle, Destiny,Everlasting,Eclipsed, Vanishing,Alchemy, witch craft)

Vibes : Known yet Unknown

Animal: Unicorn

To love you is to be at the crossroad, to hold air in cupped hands, to chase a shadow that moves just beyond reach, to follow a path that twists before it can be understood. You are Bipolar in a way....a contrast,an enigma a paradox with different extremes of your traits. You are not just a lover but a shifting force, something that refuses to be contained or fully known. Those who fall into your orbit quickly realize that you are not someone who can be claimed, not someone who surrenders easily to definitions, expectations, or permanence, hell even relationship. I don't know why I get this energy that you can friendzone a lot of people. Alot of people can be frustrated due to how complex and distant of a person you can be. There is just this frustration I feel from the people around you like..... You give them a hell of a ride lol that is for sure. Even deciphering your energy is so difficult because it's so layered and hidden and guarded. *sighhhh its gonna be a long read (ಥ_ಥ) with how difficult your energy is*

Coming back um....i feel there is this um...there is certain elusiveness to you. A feeling that you are here, but not quite here.....you feel me? Like um....Present, yet always slipping just beyond full grasp. Uhm.....those who love you often find themselves caught between longing and reality, between the idea of you and the truth of you. They may believe they have figured you out only to watch you change, evolve, take another form, leaving them to question if they ever truly knew you at all. Yet you're not heartless either tbh it's like.... There is depth in you a presence that makes people feel seen, understood, even adored.....but it is not always meant to be kept. Like you love freely, but carefully. You give but never in excess. You let people in just enough to make them feel something real, but not always enough to make them believe they can claim you as their own.

Also what I sense is that you as a person can be very restless, like a wind that cannot be bottled thats you....like a current that moves with its own rhythm, never settling for long. People who fall for you will feel this like.....like they will sense that you are someone who does not easily commit, who does not give love out of obligation, who cannot be tamed into something predictable. They may try to hold onto you, to anchor you, dictate you, try to make you submit but they will soon realize that you are not something to be captured-you are an experience, a moment, a storm that cannot be contained.

In the chaser and runner dynamic you are like a runner who runs away from relationship and people who wants to put you in a circle or in a type. Because I feel you don't want to be just seen in one light. You are infinite. You are more. You want so much for yourself. You have high expectations for yourself and you shine so bright that others try to catch you to feel that special feeling about themselves just for you to escape from their grasp.

Some people may call you cold but what I see is that you're not actually cold... You're just careful (which is fine which is good tbh) like.....You don't deny love, but you do not give it blindly either. Your impact is one of awakening, realization, and sometimes but most times of frustration. Those who love you may feel like they are in a constant state of reaching, always wanting more, always wondering if they are enough to make you stay. They may feel the weight of what they cannot control, the longing for something that refuses to be placed in a box. And that is your influence....you force people to question what love truly means like....is it about keeping, holding, caging, owning, securing? Or is it about presence, about understanding, about accepting that some connections are meant to be lived rather than owned?

I also see you challenging traditional love, disrupting the normal narratives people tell themselves about love and relationships. your love is not meant to be conventional like you are not here to fit into a mold, to follow a script, to settle into a space that does not fit you. You will make your own road and space for yourself.

As you got again even in the animal cards The unicorn it now becomes even special as it now whispers the messages of divine and things which are unseen can be seen... And things which are unheard could be heard. The unicorn card confirms what I was trying to convey no one can hold you, tame you or make you chain in one dimensional relation when you have rich wide view of the world and love. You don't belong to anyone.. There is a part of you that cannot be capture, cannot be owned, cannot be fully explained. Those who love you will try and try and try to define you, try to understand you, try to hold onto you but they will find that this love is something that moves like mist through fingers, something meant to be felt rather than possessed.

And in the end even when you are gone you remain. In the way they now question love as something eternal...in the way they now hesitate before assuming love must always mean control, in the way they search for a love that feels as alive, as electric, as fleetingly beautiful as you. You are the healer of the wounded, the solace of the lost, the unclaimed storm, the lover who cannot be held and the lesson they will never forget.

A song which was smacking me in the face before I even started the reading truly idk why maybe there is some message.... *Anyway this reading was something (╥﹏╥)*

Pile 4:

Words which were coming for you as I start the reading: (Unbound, Intense, Mystical, Unpredictable, Magnetic, Uncontrollable, Eclipsing, Wildfire, fetish, taboo)

Vibes: Power

Animal: Horse

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:Important:

Before I even begin to speak of your presence...i must first speak of the moment I reached out to touch your energy. It was unlike the others. Heavy. *sigh* i got a chill an almost intangible force pressing against my senses, as though the universe itself hesitated to part its lips and whisper your truth. The air was thick, the cold unrelenting, and even with the flickering of candlelight and the curling whispers of incense I felt the weight of something immense. I don't know what was that but it was so Cold and dark.Pure restlessness for some hate and for others even curses of some kind. Some of you may be going through the dark night of soul or shadow work or sadesati idk maybe even for some rahu/ketu dasha idk point is.... I don't know what that was. But I feel your energy is sensitive and I highly suggest you do something to protect it. As anything bad can penetrate it. You catch people's eye easily.... Jealousy and envy surrounds you. Ig that's all.

Anyway let's start the reading.

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To love you is like two polar extremes people either adore you to the point of obsession or fear you to the point of exile. There is rarely an in-between. You hold this sort of forbidden allure, something taboo, dark, and uncontainable, something that draws people in like moths to a flame knowing they might burn but unable to resist. There is this um.... undeniable element of possession, consumption, and devouring. Lovers may feel like they are drowning in your presence, completely overtaken, either by lust, love, or raw emotional chaos.

Your presence is like the first flicker of dawn in a night that had long forgotten the taste of morning ((✿❛◡❛)*quiet poetic ik*)And yet.....you do not arrive softly. Hell tbh you bring a wildfire that dances between destruction and rebirth, a paradox of passion and transformation like you do not touch them.....you brand the people you're with.

with that I also want to address if you're a guy you can either be Or have the vibes of a ladykiller/ if you're a woman watching you can be Or have the vibes of a maneater just saying.... Point is. Yep. I made my point lol

Ahem.... I also see some of ya can have a lot of wild fetishes like idk breeding kink?choking? （￣△￣；）

Aaaaa yea so.... Also some of ya can have wild and crazy tattoos. Like there is something permanent about the effect you leave on the people you're with in the relationship....much like ink on skin-whether physical tattoos or metaphorical wounds.

I also feel some of you are obsessed with psychological thriller, crime, and shadows of the mind of what's hidden.... Yk and I see that you either study madness or unknowingly become the subject of it. People who enter your orbit may find themselves obsessed, fascinated, unable to look away even when they should. For some of y'all people who are in a relationship literally could want to commit with you like hell even if it's a married person they may want to do the nasty and get entangle with you. Just saying.

But I would also like to address that your presence is not easy. It is not the comfort of still waters but the roaring tides that pull one into depths unknown. You bring forth their inner conflicts, their untamed chaos, and force them to face the parts of themselves they have ignored. It is not always a gentle process tbh and its like fire meeting shadow, a collision that either forges something indestructible or crumbles what was never meant to stand.

Yet for all the intensity you are not without tenderness but you carry within you a deep well of emotion a river that runs silent yet deep. You're a sanctuary of safety and comfort for those who really open their hearts to you and show you their raw self. Your love is not merely felt but experienced in its entirety where one learns that to be vulnerable is not to be weak but to be seen in their most unguarded truth. But not all can handle the depth of you. Some will run. Some will resist. Some will try to cage you, thinking that if they can contain your wildness, they can keep you forever.... But you are not meant to shrink yourself to fit within the confines of another’s comfort. You are meant to burn and to leave your mark.

I see for when you leave...because at some point, you always do, whether by choice or by fate-you do not truly disappear. You remain as a reminder of what it means to truly be alive, to have been seen, touched, and moved in ways that words will never be enough to explain.

Your power is that you're unforgettable.

As you got in the animal card the horse it conveys how you arrive with your galloping hooves shaking the foundation of your partner’s world... Pushing them out of their four walls and comfort zone but also I see the paradox of you in relationship. Like you maybe fiercely loyal in your soul but your essence cannot be tethered because you belong to the wind, to the roads yet traveled, to the call of the unknown. A partner who tries to chain you, to hold you down, will only find themselves grappling with emptiness. You do not leave because you wish to; you leave because you must, because your nature demands constant movement, growth, and change. You cannot stand Stagnancy of any kind. Your energy won't allow it.

And in the end some will curse your name while others will worship your memory but none will ever forget you. You are the force that runs through their veins long after when you're gone. You give the kind of love that comes like a storm, destroys everything in its path, and then disappears......leaving people lost, addicted, and forever searching for another hit of what they once had.

Two songs came for you while doing your reading

[blkkizzat]

Temporary Hiatus 2/5-3/31

Ah didn't want it to come to this but these next 2 months are going to be kinda crazy. But it's my last quarter of my MBA program so I need to hunker down.

I need to take advantage of my schools career center so instead of stories I will be writing resumes (😭😭) so I can get a new job. Plus me and the other co-president are throwing the black history month happy hour off-campus for 100-150 people at the end of the month. Then we are throwing an black alumni event for 45+ people. Then helping at this scholarship fund dinner. Also I get to go on a cool company tour of a gaming company soon so I'm super excited for that. Ah then I promised my friend I'd help out at the MBA alumni charity auction (completely different from my event) next weekend.

I also have to find an apt cause my lease is up March 1st. So I also have to find and apt move too lol. Plus connecting as an alumni with my undergrad university and mentoring an undergrad who I meet with once a week. Then 3/16-3/28 I will be going to Portugal for spring break. ...and all of that on top of classwork from 3 classes and working a full-time job.

So what does this mean? I will still work on stories and write when I can. If I finish something I will post it. But I won't be around as often to interact or answer asks or might not be able to write fics at all.

I will be back to normal tho in April! I still do love writing but I have been using it to distract me when I get stressed and I'm not gonna be able to do that for a while like I'd want.

xoxo,

Kali

P.S. If we've interacted you want my discord lmk! I'll still be on discord.

[rafaelsilvasource]

Rafael L. Silva feels like he accomplished what he set out to do with Carlos Reyes on 9-1-1: Lone Star — but that does not mean he thinks his character's story is over.

In five seasons of the Fox procedural drama, Silva's Carlos Reyes has transformed from a wide-eyed, well-intentioned police officer navigating an undeniable attraction to firefighter-paramedic T.K. Strand (Ronen Rubinstein) to a second-generation Texas Ranger hellbent on finding his own father's cold-blooded killer. Along the way, Silva — who landed his breakout role on Lone Star in 2019, a couple years after earning his undergraduate degree in acting from Pace University — has undergone a similar metamorphosis.

"Lone Star taught me a lot. It gave me feet to walk on, gave me some strong legs to stand on my own," Silva tells TV Guide. "I grew up as a person so much from the show, and I'm extremely grateful for [co-creators] Tim [Minear] and Ryan [Murphy] for having given me the opportunity."

In the final season of Lone Star, Carlos' investigation into the Rangers uncovers that his late father Gabriel's direct superior, Chief Bridges (Alan Autry), killed Gabriel and then set up Carlos' new partner, Campbell (Parker Young), to take the fall. While the bitter truth was never going to bring his father back, Carlos is finally able to get some much-needed closure about Gabriel's untimely demise — and he is now wholeheartedly able to focus on starting a family with T.K. In a flash-forward at the end of the series finale, which saw the first responders navigating not only the fallout of an asteroid but also a potential nuclear disaster, Carlos and T.K. are revealed to have adopted the latter's half-brother Jonah after T.K. decides to quit his job and become a stay-at-home guardian.

Below, Silva opens up about his extensive preparation to play a Texas Ranger (which he stresses is still not the same thing as actually being a Ranger), how he wanted to play the epic conclusion of Carlos' year-long search to finding his father's killer, and what he has made of the chatter about a potential Lone Star spin-off. He also speaks for the first time about his experience of shooting The Waterfront, a highly anticipated new Netflix series from Dawson's Creek and The Vampire Diaries creator Kevin Williamson.

The last time we spoke, you were telling me about the extensive preparation that you insisted on doing to portray a Texas Ranger in the final season of Lone Star — similarly to how you prepared to portray a police officer at the start of this show. How did your time with the Rangers ultimately inform your portrayal of Carlos in this new professional role?

Rafael Silva: When I was first notified that I was becoming a Texas Ranger, I simply just had no idea what that meant. I didn't know what a Texas Ranger was to begin with. How does one become a Texas Ranger? So I reached out to a couple of friends who had connections in Texas and I ended up being able to go to Texas and shadow some Texas Rangers, and I did that for some time. You simply cannot replace personal experience with any sort of study. One of the Texas Rangers that I shadowed told me that a man of experience will never succumb to a man of education, and I think that that's just one of the clearest ways to explain [the process]. You only learn by doing. You can read about it, you can watch tutorials, you can do so much study, but you will never know what something actually is unless you go through it.

It's an extremely exclusive and just definingly elitist department — and I mean elitist in the sense of, only the best of the best and only those who are willing to put in the work to become a Texas Ranger do become a Texas Ranger. They don't necessarily have an entourage of people that accompany them to do their job, to solve whatever situation they have at hand. They are expected to be their sole entourage. Which is why there is that famous saying: "One riot, one Ranger," because all it takes to deal with one riot is one Ranger. I was surrounded by extremely competent, smart, dedicated Rangers, and I have to thank them for allowing me to come into their world and showing me everything. That was a level of trust that I took to heart, and that's what I was adamant about coming into [this season of] Lone Star.

I had extensive conversations with Rashad [Raisani], our showrunner, and I told him, "I am not going to do this incorrectly. I am not going to just brush it for the sake of time, for the sake of network television. I'm not going to compromise." Rashad heard that — and this is why I respect him and Tim [Minear] so much, because they want the best to be on television — and they wanted to work with me. Rashad would call me, like, "Hey, can you touch base with the Ranger that you're friends with to see if this is correct?" And I would do so. So the willingness behind the creative team at Lone Star is also equally responsible for us to see Carlos portraying the Texas Ranger in the way that he did.

How else did that collaboration manifest over the course of the season? What were you insisting needed to be "correct" about this depiction of Rangers?

Silva: So when it came to building the physicality, the boots, the double rig [gun belt] — and we don't wear jeans, we wear wranglers — and the button down shirt, everything was [done] on purpose. There was not a single thing out of place, not purposefully. So that meticulousness is not only in the physicality, but also in the way the Ranger office was designed. The hierarchy, the presentability is extremely important. Every time I was on screen, I wanted to make sure that I was meticulous, because every time a Ranger is out on the field, they're not just representing himself or herself. They're representing all Texas Rangers. So what does that mean? It's above you. It's not about you. You have to take on this responsibility not only for yourself, but for everybody else. And that's an awareness you have to have.

I think witnessing that awareness, witnessing that energy in person was irreplaceable. So the purpose of [studying the process of] Carlos becoming a Texas Ranger is not only Rafael trying to do his job, but it's also Carlos not having to prove himself. Carlos is so young to be a Texas Ranger! He's a child. He's a baby. And that's mentioned, right? I was like, "We have to talk about how young he is, and we also have to talk about that this is not nepotism, because that doesn't happen in the Texas Rangers. That doesn't exist. Every Texas Ranger is absolutely qualified to do their job on their own and do it well. That needs to be honored in the script and the stories that we're telling." I just respect them so much. And selfishly as Rafael, I wanted that to be mentioned. I wanted that to be understood.

Parker Young, who played Ranger Campbell, recently said that he was a little sad when he read Episode 8 because he thought Campbell was Gabriel's killer, but then he was happy to discover that wasn't actually the case in Episode 9. When did you learn the truth about who killed Gabriel? Did you play any of the episodes under the impression that Campbell was the suspected assailant?

Silva: No, I absolutely did not want to know a fucking thing. [Laughs.] I didn't even know until I think someone told me, and we were shooting [Episode] 508. I didn't want to have the awareness. I didn't want to play something that Carlos was not aware of. That doesn't behoove me. That helps nobody. I think Tim wanted to tell me before we even started shooting Season 5, and I was like, "Shut your mouth. Don't do that! [Laughs.] Don't tell me a thing. Why would you tell me?" And I think there's such a freedom that comes in playing and being when you don't know everything. I completely disagree when people tell me that I need to know everything. I don't know everything that's going to happen in my life, so I just act according to the present moment. And why wouldn't my character do the same thing? So if someone wanted to tell me, I ran away from them. If someone tried to call me about it, I'd hang up. But eventually, I found out and then I just had to pretend I didn't know. [Laughs.]

There are a couple moments that stand out to me in Episodes 8 and 9, and they both have to do with the way Carlos reacts to his own investigation into Gabriel's murder. First, there's a clear switch when Carlos suspects Campbell was responsible, and Carlos has a difficult time trying to lie, and then there's another switch when Carlos discovers — almost too late — that Chief Bridges was his father's killer. How did you think about playing the conclusion of this massive arc for Carlos as he gets closer and closer to the truth?

Silva: I didn't try to play a conclusion. I was just trying to do the scene the way that it's meant to be played. The beautiful thing about the art that we do is that you can live as deep [as you want] in the illusion that you have control over what you do in terms of how the story's going to be told. The story's going to be told in the editing room. My job is to be true to how I feel the scene is going to go in that moment. So I don't put the responsibility on my shoulders. And that's something that I had to learn sort of the hard way too — to learn how to let go and just play the scene the way it's asked to be played.

So in terms of performance, I give all sorts of shades to the scenes. But essentially, something I knew before we even shot these scenes was that Carlos will not get the satisfaction that he's looking for by catching the guy or killing the guy. It's not like, "Boom! There you go. Justice [served]." No, it's not, because his father will not come back out of seeking that justice. His father will not come back if the guy gets murdered, or goes to jail, or he goes to trial and then he gets sentenced and charged. What Carlos is dealing with or trying his best to avoid is actually sitting in the pain of having lost his father and knowing that he will not ever come back. So in a sense, and perhaps we don't see a lot of this in the series, it's him dealing with the emptiness of like, "Now what do I do after this whole thing is over?" And that's up to interpretation. I think that would've been a beautiful moment to explore. Unfortunately, we just didn't have the time.

But I think Carlos's story was told. I think his rage was told — rage is essentially pain. I think his pain was told, and we were able to feel with him. We did have that scene at the cemetery. I actually forget all the lines [laughs], but essentially what he's saying is, "I don't have you by my side seeking justice. I don't have my father. I don't have you." So, as an actor, I don't worry about the big picture. I worry about each moment. Obviously, I've thought about the storyline, which is why we got the story that we did. Tim and Rashad were willing to give me that [arc], which I'm really grateful for. But you work so much, only to let it go immediately. It is just crazy to me. But that was sort of the intention. The intention is every moment. I think if you take care of every moment, the rest is also taken care of.

After Episode 9, you effectively bid farewell to Carlos, because it was the conclusion of his most substantive arc of the final season. Obviously, he and T.K. still had to overcome an obstacle to adopt Jonah. What was it like for you to say goodbye to Carlos? What do you remember most from your final day on set?

Silva: I cried a lot on my last day. There's that big red [Verizon] satellite truck that gives signals to the entire city [in the series finale]. That was my last day shooting Lone Star, and I didn't know how it was going to be. I am very fortunate that I have wonderful castmates that came and brought me flowers on my last day. I wasn't expecting it! I was not expecting a single person. I wasn't expecting anything. I was just like, "Oh, I'm just going to go home. And now it's done." But no, [Natacha Karam], Brian [Michael Smith], and Brianna [Baker] came out and they brought me flowers, and I just sobbed for about 20 minutes.

I don't know why that happens. It may be silly, but it's five years of dedicating your life to the people that you work with. I cannot emphasize enough the extremely talented and hardworking crew that we had on Lone Star. Our crew did so much for that show to work. I'm extremely grateful for them because [the actors] just had to show up, literally. These are men and women that give their lives just to create this industry, and I think they go unsung very often, and that is absolutely unacceptable. We have to mention our hard-working crew more often because they are as legitimate as the actors on screen. I grew up as a person so much from the show, and I'm extremely grateful for Tim and Ryan for having given me the opportunity. So I think, in the moment, we don't really register that [loss in our brains], but the body knows and it pours it all out and starts crying. I think maybe that's why it happens, but I think I was given a mission — and I think the mission was accomplished.

Did you get to take home anything from the set?

Silva: Hell yeah. I got my Steston [hat], my cowboy boots, and a jacket.

The legacy of a show generally becomes clearer over time, but many viewers have gravitated toward Carlos and the messiness of his relationship with T.K. over the course of these five seasons. When you look back on this chapter of your career five-to-10 years down the road, what do you hope the legacy of this character will be?

Silva: You can't really control how people identify [with] Carlos — at least that's what I understood. I just hope people see him as an ever-evolving human being. Like we all are, he's just trying his best to be his best. And I don't think his story is over. I really don't. There were ideas floating around about spinning off this world into something else, and I think that was a legitimate and smart idea. I just don't think the time is right. He will live forever in a sense, but I think his story is not over.

I definitely wouldn't shy away from continuing to tell his story — him being the leader of his [own] story — but it has to be complementary to the [9-1-1] world. It is not about Rafael being this [character again]. It's about Carlos existing. Why does he exist here, and what can we do to showcase this Latino queer man in a position of power? How does he live in the world? How does he influence people? How do people influence him, and what does he represent? What can he represent? Because people of all faces, all places, all sizes, all colors identified with him. They would tell me that [personally]. And I think that's such a privilege to witness — [for] people to gravitate toward him and want to root for him. And I'm not patting myself on the back. It's not about me and will never be about me, but that's someone people would root for, and I would be rooting for the people rooting for him. When characters like that come out, I think we shouldn't discard them so easily.

So, just to be clear, are you saying the door is open for you to reprise this character at some point down the road? If the executive producers decide they want to revisit just Carlos's story one day, would you consider coming back?

Silva: Yes. But it has to be done right.

Since wrapping Lone Star last summer, you booked and already filmed the first season of Kevin Williamson's new Netflix family drama The Waterfront, in which you play Shawn, a newly employed bartender for the central Buckley family who has a secret that could upend the family forever. The show is set to premiere later this year. What can you say about your experience of making that new show and playing a different character for a change?

Silva: I'm going to tell you right off the bat: I can't really say anything, because I've also not had any conversations about talking about the other show. [Laughs.] But I'll tell you: Living in North Carolina, working with [executive producers] Kevin Williamson, Michael Narducci, Ben Fast was an extremely privileged experience. It was wonderful. I worked with extremely talented people, people from the theater.

Our number one, Holt McCallany, is such a great leader, always prepared, knows his lines and everybody else's lines. [Laughs.] And it was a wonderful example of what can be done, what should be done. But also, I observed myself in that environment. I was like, Wow, Lone Star taught me a lot. It gave me feet to walk on, gave me some strong legs to stand on my own. And shooting the show was fun. It was very different from Lone Star because Lone Star had so much going on, especially in rescue cases. You have two fire trucks, two ambulances, cop cars — it's great, and it deserves its spotlight. And then [The Waterfront] was much less about the external, a lot more about the internal. The show is entertaining, it was fun, and it will be worth the watch.

[xlettex]

Wandered, now home || yuu nishinoya Surfer AU - Oneshot

Yuu Nishinoya, a free-spirited traveler and surfer, settles down in Hawaii, where his journey takes a new turn. There, he meets a marine biology student, a connection forms between them. As their relationship deepens, they bond over shared experiences and unspoken vulnerabilities, finding something real in each other’s presence.

pairing - yuu nishinoya x reader genre - romance word count - 3.8k rating - 13+

Authors Note - This fanfic is inspired by the phenomenal and breathtaking fanart of timeskip Nishinoya. Artist is @freaka_loonyz on tiktok, pinterest, twitter, and instagram!

Yuu Nishinoya had always considered the ocean a part of himself. It wasn’t just the adrenaline of the waves that called to him—it was the rhythm, the pulse of the sea. The highs and lows, the unpredictable swells that could take him soaring or pull him under. It was life in its most raw and honest form. And Hawaii? Hawaii was where he found his sanctuary, his place where the surf, the breeze, and the sun embraced him like an old friend.

He wasn’t born here. No, he’d come to the islands after traveling through half the world. He left behind his hometown, driven by the pull of something far greater. From Australia’s sunburnt beaches to the bustling, neon-lit streets of Thailand, Nishinoya collected memories and tattoos from each place—tokens of the adventures that shaped him. Each tattoo on his body was a story, etched into his skin like a living map of his life.

A giant wave engulfed his left arm, curling with intricate detail. Its crest is a jarring contrast of deep blues and whites. It was the first wave he had ever surfed in Australia making him realize he was born for this life. 

Below it, a shark outline, bold and simple, a reminder of his time diving off the coast of Thailand—an encounter with a creature that had both terrified and mesmerized him. 

Across his ribs, just below his heart, a small compass, its needle pointing north, symbolizing how he had always been drawn forward, seeking, never staying in one place for too long.

A phoenix rested on his right shoulder, its wings unfurled in a blaze of red and orange, rising as if reborn from the flames. It was a tribute to the day he nearly drowned in a particularly violent wave, only to emerge from the ocean stronger, with a deeper respect for its power. It was a reminder that even in the most brutal of challenges, there was always rebirth.

And then, there was the small, delicate dragon on his wrist, hidden from most eyes but always present—a symbol of protection and a quiet nod to his roots. He had gotten it inked during a return trip to Japan, not as a visitor, but as someone searching for a piece of himself he hadn’t realized he’d lost. Amidst the chaos of his wandering life, he had found an unexpected sense of peace there—a reminder that no matter how far he traveled, some parts of him would always belong to where he came from.

He was a man without borders, with a soul as vast as the ocean he adored. Each tattoo was a part of him, a piece of his story, and a reminder of the countless lives he had touched and the ones that had touched him in return.

For years, he’d been bouncing from place to place, finding solace in the rhythm of the waves, but it was only after he arrived in Hawaii that he finally felt like he could breathe again. The ocean here was different—warm, vast, endless. It felt like the last piece of the puzzle he'd been searching for, a sense of home amidst the ever-shifting world around him.

He had explored many countries, but no place had ever felt like home the way Hawaii did.

The University of Hawaii was just another stop along his journey, not a destination. It wasn’t where his heart was—it was just where he happened to be when the surf wasn’t calling. He’d enrolled in a few courses, something to fill the gaps when the waves weren’t up and he had time to kill. But truthfully, he never cared much about academics. The ocean was his true focus, his only real obsession was the thrill of the ride. Relationships had come and gone, fleeting as the waves themselves. No one had ever made him pause—no one.

That was until he met you.

It wasn’t dramatic or earth-shattering—nothing like the way movies depicted love at first sight. No, it was casual, a small moment that set something into motion deep inside him. It happened at a café on the edge of campus, a place that served overpriced coffee and cheap pastries, the kind of place you went to because you didn’t know where else to study.

“Yo, Noya! Come on, we’re getting coffee!” Tanaka’s voice boomed as he clapped a hand on Nishinoya’s shoulder, snapping him out of his daydreams. The two were practically inseparable, always together like a pair of magnets, always the loudest duo in any room.

“Alright, alright,” Nishinoya replied, ruffling his hair as he grabbed his backpack and slung it over his shoulder. He followed Tanaka, both of them weaving through the bustling campus, the sound of their voices and laughter drawing the attention of everyone they passed.

The moment they stepped into the café, the usual hum of background noise dimmed in Nishinoya’s mind. He noticed you sitting at one of the tables, hunched over a notebook, scribbling furiously in it. The sunlight coming through the window framed you perfectly—your wild hair bouncing lightly with every movement, your face lit by the soft glow as you chewed the tip of your pencil in thought. It was the kind of sight that made Nishinoya pause, something about it grounded him in a way he couldn’t explain.

Tanaka’s voice broke through the moment. “Yachi!” He waved, and the girl sitting across from you at the table looked up. Her expression was a mixture of surprise and recognition, and Nishinoya followed Tanaka to the table.

“Hey Yachi!” Tanaka greeted, plopping down by her without waiting for an invitation. Yachi smiled warmly but seemed slightly frazzled like she’d been in the middle of something important.

Nishinoya stood by the table awkwardly for a second before Tanaka gestured for him to sit. And that’s when he saw you more clearly.

Your eyes met his for a fleeting second, a moment of quiet recognition. The kind of gaze that made him feel like you saw him, not just the loud, goofy guy everyone else saw. He flashed you a grin, the same boisterous one he gave to everyone else, but this time it felt different.

“This is Nishinoya. He’s a bit of a legend around here,” Tanaka said with a grin, proud of his friend’s reputation.

You looked at him curiously, clearly skeptical. “A legend?” you asked, raising an eyebrow.

Nishinoya laughed and tossed his hair back. “Yup, that’s me! Surfer, traveler, all-around amazing guy,” he said with a wink.

You smiled at his energy, but there was something more restrained about your response, a subtle flicker behind your eyes—like you knew more than you were letting on. “Nice to meet you,” you said, your voice soft yet confident but with an undertone of something unspoken. You had your notebook open in front of you, the pages filled with carefully scribbled notes and diagrams of coral reefs and aquatic life.

Nishinoya, always perceptive to detail, couldn’t help but glance at your work, the complex sketches of marine life standing out on the page. He felt a flicker of curiosity. “Whoa, that’s some serious homework.” He leaned in a bit closer, his interest piqued. “What’s all this?”

You followed his gaze, then chuckled softly, a hint of embarrassment coloring your cheeks. “Oh, just some of my work. I’m studying… well, stuff about the oceans. Marine ecosystems. Not exactly the most exciting topic for a lot of people, but it’s my thing.”

Nishinoya’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. There was something about the way you said it that made him stop and reconsider. It didn’t sound like a typical academic subject—it sounded like something deeper, something you genuinely cared about. 

He straightened up, his grin widening as the realization hit him. “Marine ecosystems? That’s amazing! I’ve seen some of the most incredible reefs while traveling. I mean, I’ve surfed in Australia, Thailand, Bali... but there’s so much more to see, right? There’s something about the ocean that just calls to you.”

Your eyes widened, and you seemed to soften at his words. There was a quiet shift in your gaze, as though you were seeing him anew—not just as the surfer, but as someone who might understand the ocean pull in the way you did.  “What got you into traveling so much?” you asked, the curiosity in your voice unmistakable.

Nishinoya scratched the back of his head, his expression thoughtful. “I guess it started with the waves. It’s like… the ocean pulls you in, no matter where you are. Once I felt that, I just had to keep chasing it, you know? Every place has a unique beauty. Its own rhythm. I’ve always felt like there’s more out there waiting for me to experience.”

Your eyes softened as you listened, and for a moment, he thought he could see something in you—an understanding, something deeper than what you let on. “That’s... beautiful,” you murmured, almost to yourself.

A surge of pride rose in his chest, but it wasn’t the boastful kind. It was the quiet, personal pride of someone who had found something that resonated deeply with them. “Yeah, I’ve seen a lot. Surfed places most people only dream about. But there’s nothing like being in the water—watching the reef come alive beneath you. The coral, the fish, the way the ocean shifts... It’s breathtaking.”

Your eyes lit up at his words. It felt like you were on the same wavelength, sharing that same awe of the ocean. Your gaze held something—something warm, something that matched his excitement. “That sounds incredible,” you said softly. “I’ve only seen a fraction of the world—mostly just what I’ve read about in books or researched for school. But I dream of seeing those places. I want to experience the reefs like you have. To understand them.”

Nishinoya smiled, his tone softening, a little less boisterous than usual. “You’ve got time. And when you’re ready, I’ll show you a reef or two. No rush. When the day comes... I’ll be your guide.”

His words hung in the air; it wasn’t just what he said—it was how you responded. There was something in your eyes, something unspoken. A promise. An invitation not just to explore the ocean, but to share it. That feeling stirred something inside him, something warm and unexpected. For the first time in a while, it felt like he was seeing the ocean through someone else’s eyes—eyes that weren’t just searching the surface, but diving deep into its soul.

The spark of interest that had ignited in him earlier only grew stronger, and for reasons he couldn’t explain, he suddenly found himself wanting to know everything about you—not just your studies, but the way you thought about the world. The way you saw the vastness of the oceans, the creatures within them, and how it all connected to your heart.

A Week Later

The afternoon stretched lazily, the golden sun casting a shimmering glow across the water. The ocean waves were primed for surfing, curling perfectly as they rushed toward the shore, eager and full of promise.

But today, Nishinoya's mind wasn’t focused on surfing. In the back of his mind, you lingered—a quiet thought, persistent and constant.

When he’d asked you to join him today, it wasn’t about trying to impress you with his skill or boast about his adventures. He wanted to share something with you, something beyond the usual laughter and loudness. He wanted to show you a side of himself that no one else saw.

And so, when the moment came, he didn’t take you straight into the surf.

Instead, he led you to a different kind of adventure.

The sand was cool beneath your feet, the gentle breeze carrying the scent of salt and ocean as you walked beside him. The sun hung low in the sky, painting everything in amber light. Nishinoya led you away from the busy beach, down a quiet path toward a secluded cove, a place where the world seemed to pause, quieter, more private.

“Most people don’t know about this spot,” he said, his voice softer than usual, carrying a quiet reverence. “It’s where I come when I need to think.”

As the distance between you and the crowd grew, he reached over, his fingers brushing lightly against yours before he gently grasped your hand. The touch was unexpected, warm, and somehow more intimate than anything you’d ever felt before. It felt like a promise, something unspoken, a silent invitation to step further into this quiet world he was showing you.

When his hand grasped yours, it was like a spark—a soft, deliberate touch, but one that made something inside you stir. The heat of his palm against yours lingered, and you felt it in the way your heartbeat quickened, a small ripple in the quiet tension between you.

Without thinking, your fingers curled into his, and for a fleeting moment, everything around you seemed to disappear. The ocean, the sound of the waves crashing against the shore—it all felt distant, as though you were in a world of your own, held together by the connection between your hands.

When you arrived at the cove, you could feel it immediately—the peaceful rhythm of this place. The waves here kissed the shore gently, not crashing with force like in the more crowded spots. Everything felt still and natural, a perfect reflection of who he was underneath the boisterous exterior. He sat down on a large rock and patted the space beside him, his grin still there, but it was softer now, like a side of him he rarely showed.

You sat next to him, the warmth of his presence next to you making the silence feel more like an invitation than a void. It wasn’t uncomfortable—it was the kind of silence that allowed you to just be, no expectations, no need for words. In that quiet, it felt like you understood each other more than you ever could through conversation.

“Thanks for coming out here with me,” Nishinoya said, his voice unusually serious, almost like he was letting down a wall. “Most people don’t get to see this side of me.”

You glanced at him, studying the sincerity in his gaze. “Because of your persona?” you asked softly. “The surfer, the adventurer?”

“Yeah,” he murmured, his eyes drifting out toward the horizon. “People see the loud guy, the guy always up for the next thrill. But there’s more to me than that. Sometimes... I just want to be alone with my thoughts. Not be the guy everyone expects me to be.”

His honesty struck a chord with you. For a moment, you found yourself wondering if he saw something in you that you didn’t always show others.

The breeze shifted, and for a heartbeat, everything seemed to slow. You turned toward him, the words rising in your chest before you could stop them. “I’ve... been watching you for a while now,” you said, your voice soft but steady. “I spend a lot of time near the water for class, studying the marine life. But, sometimes, I’d find myself just sitting there, watching you. There was something about the way you moved with the waves... like you were part of it. I couldn’t help but be drawn to that.”

There was a pause, a shift in the air between you both. His gaze softened, and in that moment, you realized you’d let something slip that had been hidden in the quiet corners of your mind for so long.

Nishinoya’s eyes flickered with surprise, his brow furrowing slightly. “Watching me?”

You felt a rush of heat flood your face. You hadn’t meant to say it so bluntly, but now that it was out, it was impossible to take back. “I—I’d sketch you sometimes,” you admitted quietly, your voice catching just slightly. “When I saw you out there on the waves, you looked... different. Like you were in your own world. I never really told anyone this, but... I’ve always thought there was more to you than what people see.”

Nishinoya’s expression softened, and there was a pause, an unspoken understanding passing between you. He gave a small, almost bashful smile. “I didn’t know you were an artist.” he said, his voice warmer than usual.“It’s... a side of you I didn’t expect. “I guess there’s a lot about me I’ve never let people see either.”

You tilted your head, curiosity flickering in your gaze. “Like what?”

He hesitated, his eyes drifting out toward the horizon. He was gathering the courage to share something he’d kept locked away. “I’ve never really told anyone this, but... I get tired sometimes,” he murmured, his voice quieter now. “Tired of always being the loud one, the guy people expect me to be. It’s hard letting people see me, you know? To let them see past the bravado. I’ve always felt like if they did, they wouldn’t like what they saw.”

The vulnerability in his voice hit you like a wave, deeper than you’d anticipated. You had always seen him as this fearless, larger-than-life figure, but now, hearing this part of him, you were seeing him in a way you never had before—like the ocean was finally revealing its depths.

Without thinking, you leaned in a little closer, drawn in by the rawness of his confession. The air between you thickened, heavy with the weight of everything unspoken. And in that moment, you felt the pulse of something that had been quietly building since you first met.

Nishinoya shifted slightly, his fingers brushing his sleeve. As he did, you caught sight of the tattoos on his arm again, and he followed your gaze. “These... they’re not just for the pain," he said quietly, his voice almost reflective. "Each one... tells a story. One I needed to remember, even when I tried to forget." He traced the dragon on his arm with his finger, the edges still sharp despite the years. "I used to think they were just about surviving. But now... they remind me that I’m more than just the guy who keeps everyone’s spirits up." He paused, giving you a small, vulnerable smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “I’ve been hiding parts of myself, for too long.”

You leaned in just a little more, the raw honesty between you both pulling you closer. “I don’t know if I could ever show people all of me, either,” you murmured, your voice softer now, mirroring the weight of his confession. “But maybe... that’s the part we’re meant to let out. The parts we’re afraid to show.”

Nishinoya’s gaze met yours, and in his eyes, you saw that same quiet understanding, the kind that didn’t need words. It was the kind of connection that spoke louder than anything you’d said out loud.

Then, his lips curved into something more familiar—a mischievous smirk creeping back in. “So... about these sketches,” he said, tilting his head at you. “Are they, like, super serious? Or do I look stupid in them?”

The shift in tone made you huff a quiet laugh, the heaviness between you both lifting just a little. “You don’t look stupid,” you admitted, shaking your head.

“That wasn’t a no,” he teased, nudging you lightly with his shoulder. “I gotta see them now. I need to know if you made me look cool or if I’ve been unknowingly starring in a collection of dumb surfer doodles.”

You rolled your eyes but couldn’t fight the smile tugging at your lips. “They’re not dumb,” you muttered.

“So, they’re good?”

You groaned, and he laughed, the sound bright and easy. But when he looked at you again, there was something softer in his gaze. “I mean it, though. I wanna see them,” he said, voice quieter now. “I like the idea of seeing myself through your eyes.”

Something about the way he said it sent warmth flooding through your chest.

Nishinoya’s lips hovered near yours, the quiet between you two now charged with something unspoken. He’d just laid bare the weight of his past, his tattoos, and the silent battles they represented. His usual confident air faltered for a split second, and the briefest flicker of doubt passed through his eyes. He wasn’t used to being so exposed, so raw. His heart pounded just a little harder, but the moment was fleeting. Before he could mask it with his usual bravado, you met his gaze.

Your eyes held his, steady and unwavering. No judgment. No fear. Just an understanding that spoke louder than words. Slowly, almost imperceptibly, his breath steadied, his shoulders relaxing. The weight he’d been carrying, even if just for a moment, seemed to lighten. The vulnerability didn’t vanish—it was still there, just tucked away behind that soft, lingering connection between you.

With a deep exhale, he closed the distance, his lips meeting yours in a kiss that was gentle and slow, like the ocean itself—building gradually, yet overwhelming in its quiet intensity. It wasn’t a kiss of passion, but one of connection—a silent exchange that spoke volumes, letting everything that had been left unspoken rise to the surface. The world around you faded, the noise and chaos slipping away as the kiss deepened, each movement a slow wave of reassurance. The weight of the moment lingered, soft but undeniable, like the rhythm of the sea—a constant presence that spoke more than words ever could.

When you pulled away, your foreheads rested together, and for a short moment, the outside world felt distant. Neither of you spoke. The quiet wrapped around you like a soft blanket, the only sound was the steady rhythm of your breath and the gentle lapping of the waves against the shore.

Then, Nishinoya broke the silence with a soft chuckle, his lips brushing lightly against yours again—a kiss that was teasing, full of warmth, and something unspoken. “You know,” he murmured against your lips, his voice low and sincere, “you’ve got this way of making me feel like I’m not just the guy on the board.”

You smiled, warmth spreading through you that had nothing to do with the sun. “I think that’s the best part about you,” you replied, your voice as soft as the breeze. “That you’re more than meets the eye.”

He grinned, his fingers brushing playfully against your wrist. “Still wanna see those sketches, though.”

You rolled your eyes, but a small part of you knew you’d let him. Because, maybe, just maybe, you wanted him to see himself the way you did—just a little more than the guy on the board.

And in that moment, with the world fading around you, everything felt right. The ocean, vast and timeless, was your only witness, the waves were endless and unknowable—just like whatever came next. But for now, this moment was enough.

[callmeherry]

Who’s the sans in the rotten girl animation 👀👀

Allow me to yap for a moment hehehehe

This is Code!

He's from my AU called Undercode!

As a quick summary, in Undercode the player offers Sans a chance to stop the resets and Sans takes it, he imagines the player has ulterior reasons but at this point he just doesn't care. And so the word is undone and put back together to the players liking (With Sans having some inputs on it even if he doesn't realize.)

The word takes a complete different angle, Sans for example never goes on the science direction, instead he goes with photography and becomes an art director for Mettaton shows and clips. (He also has a very important accident to get his new look™ but that's a story for another day) Sans only remembers what he actually did years after when the human falls.

But all of that is irrelevant because the Sans from the animation is a Sans after he literally got kicked out of his own AU after plot reasons!

On his AU, he just went missing and people assume he died. All the years they spent with him override by this new reality that he was never there in the first place.

While he knows he has a universe, he KNOWS there is people he loves, but he just can't remember their faces. The moments they spent together are muddy, and he just can't tell what is real and what his imagination is making up. If he insists on trying to remember where his word is he'll crash out. Like a program trying to open with a very important file missing.

So he is just all alone, unable to go home.

Code is someone that seeks anyone that will bring that connection he desperately needs. He wants his family back. He wants to be loved again. So he searches.

As shown on the animation, he usually looks for Grillbys because he knows he was the only one that actually got him. But Code doesn't stop at them. He looks for anyone that would want him, and even if not him, Code can make himself look like anyone they want. He can BE whatever you need if you just HAVE. HIM.

So he usually searches for monsters who lost everything as well, the ones that killed everyone and the ones that are survivors on the Omega timeline.

But no matter how well he pretends, he'll never beat the real thing. They notice the small things he gets wrong. And they all get tired eventually. Leaving him alone again.

He can be both a pathetic twink and a melodramatic emo basically >:D

[euphoricdr3ams]

Untitled

Y/N and Felix have always been inseparable—best friends who shared everything from gaming marathons to dreams of the future. But as their paths begin to diverge, with Felix chasing his K-pop dreams in Korea and Y/N heading to university in Melbourne, the unspoken feelings between them start to surface. What begins as a playful dare at a high school party turns into a kiss that changes everything, blurring the line between friendship and something deeper. As they navigate the chaos of growing up, long-distance, and their own insecurities, they must decide: is their bond strong enough to survive the changes, or will the weight of their dreams pull them apart? A story of first loves, missed chances, and the bittersweet beauty of growing up.

genres: written, childhood friends to lovers, fluff, angst,unrequited love, senior year (highschool), felix and Y/N are aged up to 17, pre-debut,

Trigger Warning: underaged drinking for now

Word count: 5,000

Authors Note: let me know what u think, I may continue on with this depending on the interest

Circa Late 2017

“How many times are you going to spam the same move?” Y/N complained, her tone a mix of frustration and amusement. She was knee-deep in the world's longest stock-battle stalemate with one of her closest friends.

“I’ll keep at it until you’re as good as dead. I’m not just going to hand you this win,” Felix teased, a smirk on his face as his Pikachu sent her Toon Link flying dangerously close to the edge of the map. 

Both of them were focused, their palms sweaty, eyes locked on the screen. The usual banter and light teasing that typically filled their sleepovers and competitive match nights faded into the background. All that mattered now was winning—something both took very seriously in their shared passion for gaming.

Y/N and Felix could never really pinpoint the exact moment when their friendship had become so close, when they started to latch onto each other like koalas. If you asked, you'd get two different answers, but the overall theme was the same: when they were together, the noise of the world stopped. Nothing mattered outside of each other. 

It had started with casually sparring at the after-school gaming club, but their connection grew far beyond that. She showed up to his Taekwondo competitions whenever she could, cheering him on from the sidelines, and he supported her at her art competitions. Soon, their families knew each other well, and their worlds began to merge without either of them realizing it. 

“YESSSS! I told you!” Y/N practically bounced in her seat after landing the final blow, finally claiming a win after several failed attempts.

Felix rolled his eyes, grabbing a fistful of pretzels from the snack bowl his older sister, Rachel,  had left out for them. The living room table was cluttered with an assortment of junk food—chips, candy, soda—the works for any gaming night.

“Whatever, this game sucks anyway,” he muttered, though his competitive streak was clearly wounded. He dipped deeper into the pretzel bowl, sulking in defeat.

Y/N, still laughing from the high of her victory, nudged him playfully. “Don’t get salty, just get good,” she teased, grabbing her own snack of choice: gummy bears. 

Felix groaned, feigning indifference. “I need a break. My hand hurts.” He switched off the game, pulling up Youtube  instead. The familiar tunes of his favorite group, SHINee, began to fill the room.

Ever since one of his cousins from Korea introduced him to K-pop, Felix had been hooked. The choreography, the passion, the sheer talent—it was mesmerizing. And lately, he’d been practicing more than just his dance moves. His dream of auditioning for JYP was becoming a real possibility. 

“You’ve been practicing your pronunciation, right? Wanna keep going?” Y/N asked, noticing the slight tension in his voice. Felix had seemed more focused, more driven lately, but underneath that ambition was uncertainty—a vulnerability she hadn’t seen before.

Felix hesitated, but before he could answer, Y/N added, “Oh, wait! I need to show you my new painting.” She grabbed her phone, scrolling to the latest photo of her work in progress.

It was a lotus flower, blooming from the depths of a muddy pond. Felix stared at it for a moment, appreciating the symbolism. A flower that represents rebirth, resilience in harsh conditions. 

“I really like this,” he said finally, his voice soft with admiration. “Your brushstrokes are so detailed… it's amazing. I know that competition money is yours.”

Y/N beamed at the compliment, feeling a warmth settle in her chest. “Thanks. Any little bit helps. Trying to get as much free money for college as possible,” she joked, lightening the moment.

Felix chuckled, though the tension from earlier still lingered in his expression. He opened his laptop, playing around with his pronunciation notes. “Honestly, I thought I knew how to speak Korean pretty well, but when I listen to how fast the locals talk, it’s so different. But I have to try… I really want this.”

The uncertainty in his voice was palpable now. His dream of becoming a trainee at JYP was more than just a distant goal—it was an uphill battle, and he knew it. The doubt crept in despite his best efforts to stay confident.

Y/N’s eyes softened as she watched him. “You bring so much to the table, Felix. They’d be insane not to recognize your talent.”

A small smile tugged at his lips, a blush creeping onto his cheeks. He wasn’t used to showing this much vulnerability, but Y/N had always been the one to see past the walls he built. That’s why he cherished her support—it was real, unwavering. 

“Thanks,” he muttered, the tension easing just a bit as they shifted into their joint practice session. Y/N, though adopted, had always wanted to connect more with her Korean heritage, and learning the language alongside Felix had become one of their shared goals. It was a comfort, knowing that no matter what happened next, they were there for each other, even if they didn’t fully realize the depth of their bond just yet.

Felix took a deep breath, glancing at Y/N. There was something about her presence that calmed him, that made him feel like everything might just work out. At least, for now.

You paused for a moment, glancing over at Felix as he focused on his screen, his brows furrowed slightly as he corrected your pronunciation. It felt so easy, so natural, to be in this moment with him. But something about the ease made your chest tighten, a sudden awareness that this might not last forever.

That underlying fear haunted you both in ways you’d rather ignore. Things were bound to change; time would only push those changes forward. It was naive to think otherwise. Like seasons, you and Felix would grow, shaped by new experiences and separate paths. Still, it was a reality you both pretended didn’t exist.

Late-night gaming sessions became your escape. You fantasized about visiting him during the trainee program, imagining he’d somehow find time to indulge in the college life you both knew he’d never get to live. You clung to the delusion, and so did he, until reality began to shift, pressing its weight on your shoulders.

A week later, the shift became real.

“You got into the University of Melbourne!” your aunt screamed from the living room, her voice echoing down the hallway as she rushed to your bedroom doorway.

“That’s great…” you replied, nervous, your voice flat. Your gaze barely lifted from your laptop, where you scrolled through Pinterest, saving inspiration for your next art piece. Watching creative content creators passionately pursue their dreams only made your mind race. Was this the start of something great—or the beginning of a path leading to a bitterly unsatisfying life? Worst-case scenarios flashed through your mind, each more vivid than the last.

“Love, what’s wrong? Your uncle and I are so excited for you, but you don’t seem that way.”

“It’s not that, Auntie. I’m happy. It’s all I’ve been working for. I’m just… thinking about what I have to do to get there.”

“I understand, sweetie, but let’s take a step back and enjoy this moment. This is a huge accomplishment! Sit in it. Celebrate!” She placed a plate of fruit in front of you—her way of showing care, via strawberries. “I’m going to call everyone and tell them how amazing my love is! Going to the best school in the country to become a lawyer—how proud we all are!”

Before you could correct her, tell her you planned to double major in Law and Art Studies, she’d already scurried off. You wanted to shout that you didn’t dream of courtrooms and corporations fighting over copyrights. Your dreams leaned toward helping others, blending the creative skills you’d spent years honing with a career that made a difference.  If you conformed to what your aunt wanted, you’d likely end up defending multimillion-dollar companies that wouldn’t care if you lived or died. Instead, you want to become a public defender—a career that's emotionally satisfying but doesn’t promise a high quality of life.

Instead, you sighed, counting to five as you stared up at the ceiling, willing your nerves to calm before the anxiety could fully take hold.

Ding.

Lix: Sooooo… Did you hear back?

You: Yeah, I got in.

Lix: This is great! Why are you texting so cold? Lol, you should be proud. What’s on your mind?

You: It’s just so much. My aunt and uncle are great, but I’m thinking about everything I need to get done before I start, and I’m stressed already -_-

Lix: Hey, hey, hey, trust me, I get it. But we can only worry about what’s right in front of us. One day at a time, right? Right? I know I’m right, lol. Why don’t we just hop online and forget about all of this? You can lose again in Smash XD

You: You say that every time, Mr. Lee, and EVERY time I prove you wrong. Lmao. Ok, give me like 10, and I’ll get on Discord.

You smiled, setting your phone down. Felix had a way of pulling you out of your spirals, always knowing what to say to make you laugh—or at least distract you. For a moment, it worked.

But as you stared at your gaming setup, the heaviness crept back. Melbourne was your dream school—not just for its law program but for its vibrant arts community and the chance to live out both sides of your passion. Still, the thought of leaving behind the comfort of your life, and the people in it, especially Felix, was terrifying.

You couldn’t shake the fear of how it would change things. And yet, for now, you clung to the one thing you knew wouldn’t change: Felix would always be there for you.

Two weeks later 

The moments leading up to the audition were some of the most stressful Felix had ever experienced. This opportunity meant everything—a chance to change his life in an instant. Yet, doubts crept in like uninvited shadows. He knew how competitive the entertainment industry was. Thousands auditioned every year. Why would they take a risk on someone like him—a foreigner who doesn’t fit in with the natives?

He let out a heavy sigh as he stood outside the audition venue, his heart pounding against his ribs.

“Felix, listen to me,” Rachel, Felix's older sister, said, her voice steady, offering a small squeeze to his shoulder. “I know you’re nervous, but you’re ready. You’ve been working for this for so long. You’re not just some kid hoping for a shot—you belong here.” She gave him a soft but firm look, as if her words could wrap around him and hold him together. She had always been able to read him, her intuition cutting through his quiet exterior. Even when Felix couldn’t articulate his fears, Rachel could sense them.

Felix ran a hand through his hair, eyes on the building in front of them. “I know. It’s just... There are so many people here, and only a handful get chosen. What if I’m not enough?”

Rachel’s brow furrowed. “Stop overthinking. You’ve got the talent, the drive, and you’ve got yourself—something that no one else can offer. Go in there and show them why you’re our Sunshine.”

Felix tried to nod, but his nerves only seemed to heighten. The choreography he’d practiced relentlessly blurred in his mind. The moves, so ingrained yesterday, felt foreign now, as if his body had forgotten them entirely. He clenched his fists and closed his eyes, exhaling slowly.

This was his dream—his ticket to something greater than the predictable rhythm of Sydney life. He wanted to see the world, to experience everything life had to offer, and to channel that hunger into his newfound passion for dance. But standing here, under the weight of his aspirations, the pressure felt unbearable.

His phone buzzed.

Y/N: Good luck today! Show them the great person I already know you are. Let your light and warmth shine—that’s what will set you apart. I’ll talk to you later when we hop on Steam :D

He stared at the message, reading it twice, then a third time. A small smile tugged at the corners of his lips. He could almost hear your voice, steady and encouraging, breaking through the storm in his mind. Those words quieted the chaos, grounding him just enough to take a step forward.

The audition itself felt like a blur. The music started, and for a moment, he was paralyzed. Then, like clockwork, the moves came back—sharp, deliberate, and confident. His body knew the choreography better than his mind gave it credit for. By the end, his chest heaved with exertion, but his heart swelled when one of the judges complimented his pronunciation during a short Korean self-introduction.

The waiting afterward was agonizing. Felix paced the holding room, his thoughts looping endlessly. What if he hadn’t done enough? What if this was the end of the road? Yet, there was a quiet reassurance that lingered—the memory of your words. You always seemed to pull him out of the mental traps he built for himself, giving him a clarity he struggled to find alone.

“Congratulations, Lee Felix. Please come to the back room to discuss the details of the trainee program.”

The words hit him like a bolt of lightning. He nearly leaped out of his chair, relief and joy coursing through him in equal measure. He couldn’t believe it—he’d done it. He was in.

Later, in the car, his parents’ cheers filled the air. His mom pulled him into a tight hug, her pride evident even as tears shimmered in her eyes.

“Felix, my son, I’m so proud of you,” she said, her voice choked with emotion. “I’m happy for you, but I’m going to miss you so much….”

Felix could feel the weight of her words in the silence between them. He knew what this meant for both of them—his dream was coming true, but it meant stepping away from everything he knew. His family. You.

He didn’t want to leave, not really. But he had no choice. He had to chase this dream.

When he finally got home, Felix felt the weight of the new reality sink in. He picked up his phone and typed a quick message to you.

Felix: You might as well have been my good luck charm. I got in. Details later :)

For now, Felix chose to live in the moment, holding onto the happiness of his success—and the steady presence of you in his life.

With just four months left before everything changed, there was a sense of urgency in the air, but tonight, the world still belonged to you both. The future was looming, but for now, it was all about enjoying the last moments of freedom before things got complicated.

Felix’s voice crackled through the phone, the tiredness evident in his tone. “I don’t know, Y/N. With everything going on for the trainee program... I don’t have time for this kind of thing.”

You leaned back on your bed, staring at the ceiling as you held your phone to your ear. “Felix, come on. You’re not gonna have many chances left to be irresponsible. This could be the last era of your life to just... let be. You deserve it. Plus, I’ve got leftover liquor from last time. You can pregame with me here.” You smirked to yourself, knowing your words might push him just enough.

Felix sighed, the sound almost exasperated. “I don’t know... I have so much stuff to do for the program. I’m so stressed going out would just add to it”

You rolled your eyes. “Ok. lol. Sounds like another day in your life. No offense. What’s one night? You’ve been working your ass off. Don’t you want to enjoy life while you can? I’m not saying we go crazy, but one night won’t ruin your future. You need to relax.”

There was a long pause on the other end, the only sound being Felix’s deep breath. “Okay, fine,” he finally said, with an almost reluctant chuckle. “You’re right. I need to live in the moment, right? Alright, I’ll come. Let me just check on Liv first, and I’ll be at your place around 10:30.”

“I knew you’d come around,” you teased, your voice light and playful.

A few hours later, after too many shots between the two of you, the night had spiraled into a chaotic, unforgettable high school party at Crystal’s parents’ condo. The place was packed with people, most of them barely legal, all drinking cheap beer and dancing offbeat to Kesha. You and Felix stuck together, navigating the crowd, laughing at the awkwardness of it all.

Felix’s voice came through the phone again, a slight smirk in his tone. “Is this really what we’re going to remember about high school?” he asked, glancing at the crowd.

You grinned, holding your cup up to the phone. “Maybe. But I think it’s the people, not the party. You’re not going to remember every stupid thing that happened, but you’ll remember the faces—the ones that were here for the ride.”

Felix sighed, his voice quieter now, as he watched the madness unfold. “I guess... I just keep thinking about how everything’s about to change. It’s hard to imagine how this will look in a couple months.”

You could hear the shift in his voice, the weight of it. You decided to take a different approach, trying to lighten the mood. “Hey, nothing stays the same. And that’s okay. That’s what makes moments like this so important. You’ve got to soak it all in while you can.”

Felix let out a soft chuckle. “You’re right. Yeah, I guess it’s kind of nice to know that we’ll have this to look back on.” His voice turned a little more serious. “Thanks, Y/N. For getting me to come out tonight.”

You smiled softly, even though he couldn’t see it. “Anytime. We’ve got to enjoy what we’ve got while it lasts.”

Felix’s voice softened. “Yeah, we do.”

The party was in full swing, the music blaring, drinks flowing, and chaos everywhere. You could barely hear anything over the chatter and laughter of your friends, but the tension between you and Felix was palpable. It had always been there, but tonight, it felt different.

Mike, drunker than most, slurred his words as he pushed into Felix. “When are you gonna finally make a move on Y/N?” He laughed, oblivious to the shift in the air, pushing Felix in your direction.

Felix rolled his eyes, but it wasn’t the usual playful response. There was something different in his gaze, something more thoughtful than you were used to seeing. The teasing continued, relentless.

“Sure, sure, I bet you won’t ever make a move at this rate,” Mike teased, turning his attention to you now. The conversation quickly shifted, and you couldn’t help but feel the eyes of everyone on you.

“You should just make the first move at this point. What do you have to lose?” Mike’s words hung in the air, and for a moment, everything seemed to freeze.

You hadn’t really thought about kissing Felix, not like this, not seriously. But in your drunken haze, Mike’s challenge hit something inside you. Maybe you should kiss him. After all, what was the harm?

Felix chuckled nervously, shaking his head. “No way, man,” he muttered, but there was an edge to his voice that told you he was conflicted. The idea of it seemed to hang in the air, pulling at something inside both of you. Something you hadn’t let yourself acknowledge.

Without thinking much further, you blurted out, “I’ll kiss him now. It’s really fine.”

Felix choked on his drink. The words left your mouth before you could stop them. Felix’s eyes widened in shock, his mouth slightly parted as if trying to process what you had just said. “Wait, what? You’re kidding, right?” His voice was tight, but there was an unmistakable flicker of something in his eyes, something that hadn’t been there before.

“You just said it,” Mike teased, a sly grin on his face. “Do it. You’re friends. It’s no big deal, right?”

Felix’s mind was spinning, and for the first time, he saw you in a completely new light. The way your dress hung from your body, the way you’d always laughed around him, but now it felt different, like everything was amplified. Felix blinked, his pulse picking up. He didn’t know what it was—whether it was the alcohol, or the way you’d teased him, or how suddenly everything felt so intimate—but he couldn’t deny it.

Felix shifted uncomfortably, suddenly hyper-aware of the space between you. His eyes flicked to yours, searching, but you were already moving closer. The alcohol dulled his usual caution. His mind raced, his heart pounding as your hand reached up to cup the side of his face. Everything in the room felt like it had stopped moving. His eyes landed on your lips for a split second, and in that instant, it was too late to turn back.

The kiss was soft, tentative at first, but it was enough to send a jolt through both of you. Felix’s hands instinctively found their way to your waist, pulling you closer. Something inside him—something he’d buried deep—flooded to the surface. It wasn’t just a kiss. It was everything you hadn’t admitted to each other. The way he felt about you, the way you’d felt about him for a while now, but never dared to say.

Your lips deepened the kiss, and the world outside of you two seemed to vanish. The other people in the room fell away. You were both lost in the moment, but it wasn’t just the alcohol that made your head spin. It was the way Felix kissed you, the intensity of it. The way your heart raced, not just from the thrill, but from the realization that this meant something more.

As you slowly pulled away, your face was flushed, your head spinning. You didn’t know if it was the alcohol, or if it was the fact that Felix had just crossed the line between friends and something else, something you didn’t know how to name.

“See? No big deal,” you laughed awkwardly, trying to cover the pounding in your chest with casualness.

Felix, still caught in the aftermath of the kiss, looked at you for a long moment. His voice was quieter now, almost hesitant. “Yeah... no big deal,” he echoed, but the way his eyes lingered on you told a different story. He wasn’t sure what had just happened, but he knew it had changed everything.

You both tried to go back to normal, but the tension between you was thick. You couldn’t help but notice the way Felix kept his eyes on you the rest of the night, his gaze occasionally flickering to anyone who seemed to show too much interest in you. You were too drunk to notice the subtle possessiveness in the way he glared at the guys who came too close. Felix assumed you only kissed him because it was him, and that was something he wasn’t ready to share with anyone.

As the night wore on, the games continued—Mario Kart, Super Smash Bros.—but the energy was different. Your competitive banter was laced with something unspoken, the kind of charge that buzzed between you both every time your eyes met. You tried to act like nothing had changed, but you could feel it in the air. So could Felix, though he didn’t dare to bring it up.

Eventually, the night ended, and in a blur of too many drinks and too many moments that felt too real, you ended up at your parents' condo. They were away for the weekend, and there was no way Felix would let you walk home alone—even if you weren’t drunk.

As you stumbled toward the door, Felix’s hand lingered on your back, guiding you with a care that was almost too gentle for the way he had acted earlier. The unspoken words still hung between you, thick with everything that had shifted between you two in a matter of seconds.

And somewhere deep down, you both knew that everything would be different now. You just hadn’t figured out if or how to deal with it yet.

Stumbling into your room, you both lazily kicked off your clothes and changed into your pajamas before slipping into the bed. The room was spinning less now, the alcohol haze from the night lifting, bringing some clarity to the situation. Felix lay beside you, feeling the overwhelming weight of the kiss, his mind spinning with thoughts he couldn’t push away. He felt guilty, especially if you had only kissed him because of peer pressure.

He tried to distract himself by doom scrolling through social media, but his head was still racing, and he just couldn’t shake it. The thought of losing your friendship over a stupid dare seemed like too much to bear.

“Hey…umm…” Felix sighed, turning to face you. “You didn’t have to do that.”

You glanced over at him, noting the distress on his face. “Do what?”

His heart was pounding, his voice tight. “Kiss me. You didn’t have to, you know? I just want to make sure… I don’t want to mess things up.”

You smiled softly, your gaze steady and reassuring. “Lix, if I wasn’t cool with it, I wouldn’t have done it. You know how stubborn I am.”

Felix hesitated, his chest still tight, unsure of how to respond. “I know… I just want to make sure, because I…”

You cut him off gently, your voice quiet but firm. “I hear you. But I enjoyed it.” You paused, your mind replaying the moment that felt frozen in time. “My only complaint? It was too short.”

Felix’s demeanor immediately softened. That magical ease you always had with him worked like a balm for his frayed nerves, the racing thoughts in his head calming at your words. He had been terrified that he might have ruined five years of friendship with a single reckless kiss, but now—now things didn’t seem so impossible.

“Well,” Felix said, a small chuckle escaping his lips, “I guess I owe you a second kiss one of these days.”

You smirked, inched closer to him, and whispered, “Why wait? Let’s make it ‘one of these days’ right now. YOLO, right?”

Felix laughed nervously, his heart doing a strange flip in his chest. His mind was still caught between the confusion of his emotions and the weight of the consequences of crossing this line. What was the point of pushing the envelope? Things were already changing in both of your lives; maybe you should just leave your friendship the way it was.

But all that went out the window the moment your lips met his again.

This time, there was no pressure. Just the two of you, lost in the moment. Your lips danced together, slow and intricate, matching each other’s pace. Before either of you knew it, you had shifted on top of him, straddling his waist, his hands finding their place on your hips, his fingers brushing against your bare skin.

Felix had touched you before, but never like this. The sensation sent electric waves up both of your spines, and the world outside of the two of you seemed to disappear. You pulled away slowly, your breath quiet in the stillness.

“That was nice…” Felix whispered, his voice barely audible as he pulled you back down beside him.

You snuggled closer, your voice soft and sleepy. “Yeah. It was. Can we do that again?”

Felix didn’t answer with words. Instead, he kissed you again, and again, and again, each kiss a little deeper, a little more heated than the last. Slowly, you both relaxed into each other’s embrace, falling asleep tangled together, content and peaceful.

Just two friends, sharing a moment, and nothing more….right?

______________________________________________________

Just temperature checking if people like this... If this is something that intrigues you. leave me an message in the ask box.

[d0etickk]

Welcome to AntlerSoup! My little alternate universe of freaks, including Violet McCain and The Stag. Close ups under the cut.

V1 Jack's info!! Caligo infodump tagged under #AntlerSoupAU

Still ironing out his story! So here’s some facts.

Issac Jackson Novak. Jack, aka “Eyeless Jack”

Age: ~27. Height: 6’8. Ethnicity: Mainly Irish, Scottish, and Indian. Partly eldritch horror.

A child of Caligo. His ritual to become a Prophet was incomplete/a failure. Technically is considered undead, or in a “between” state. 

Hears Caligo and the other Prophet’s voices in broken, distant speech while not being able to communicate back, due to intentionally forcing the connection away. Knows very many things about the universe and the mortals he meets without his consent. Sometimes blurts this knowledge out in the moment—a Prophet’s habit.

Cold to the touch and largely unaffected by temperature. Though seeks and enjoys warmth.

Has an eloquent and vast vocabulary. Human anatomy nerd and former medical student.

Craves human flesh and partly needs it to survive. Only takes human organs when absolutely forced. Tries to do as little harm as possible when he does so, using his medical knowledge and collection of tools he has accumulated through time to keep everything as clean and painless as he can. Often labeled as an organ trafficker by local authorities.

His face splits in two, revealing tangling tentacle-like appendages used to trap prey and funnel it down his throat so he can swallow it like a snake. Also has shark-like teeth.

Eye sockets leak a tar-like substance near perpetually, but more when he is hungry or in distress. Wears a patched-up cultist mask mostly out of shame.

At his core, kindhearted and good natured. Forced to become distant and cold in order to protect those around him. Battles internally with his desire to reconcile his wrongdoings and help others, and the knowledge that nothing he can do will ever allow him to do that safely.

Complicated feelings about his existence. Feels a deep guilt for abandoning his upbringing and failing to play out his destiny as a Prophet, but deeply resentful and afraid of the harm the group does, and the harm he causes as the monster he became. Believes he is nothing but a cursed mistake.

Perpetually exhausted mentally and emotionally. Short patience for those uncaring of his boundaries or others.

Will avoid people as much as possible. Even then, he has his weak moments. It is difficult to hold onto one’s humanity while remaining isolated from society.

[simpfordin]

W A V E S

thanos (choi su-bong) x fem!reader [au: based on the film waves]

wc: 3.4k+

summary: you and your boyfriend were madly in love, spending nearly every moment together. the two of you each had your own big plans post graduation. unfortunately, an unexpected pregnancy leads to the demise of the relationship.

warnings: TWTW teen pregnancy, toxic relationship, very angsty, subong is mean/ooc [not rlly a warning but i'm a chronic run-on sentence gal and i'm tired of reading this so i apoligize for grammar/spelling mistakes]

disclaimer: by no means am i promoting any of the themes in this story.

the sun had set below the horizon, casting the sky into a beautiful sea of deep blues and purples. some light was left, though, enough for you to see every detail of the man that lay next to you on the beach towel. his focus was on the sky as stars gradually appeared. the moment was so tranquil, from the light breeze in the air to the sounds of waves crashing in the distance, and the salty smell of the water blown in your direction. moments like these made life feel perfect.

“i didn’t want to say anything, babe,” you broke the silence, “and i love you dearly, i hope you know that.”

su-bong raised a brow, sensing the tease in your voice. he turned his head to face you, noticing how you tried to hide your smile.

“its just that,” you giggled, “your hair really reminds me of thanos. you know, that purple dude in the marvel movies?”

he watched as you cracked yourself up. if anyone else had told him that, su-bong would not find it amusing at all. the soft spot he had for you, though, allowed you to get away with the comment. in fact, he did find it somewhat comical.

suddenly, he interrupted your laughing by placing his hands on your hips, and swiftly maneuvered your body so that it lay on top of him. he placed his hand on the back of your head, pulling your lips to his. the two of you smiled into the kiss, ignoring the rest of the world. ‘moments like these,’ he thought to himself, ‘make this life feel perfect.’

︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶

we need to talk, plz text me when you can.

you tossed your phone to the opposite side of your bed where you currently sat, a wave of anxiety rushing over your frame. it was almost as if every single cell in your body let out a small shock starting from the crown of your head, and ending in the tips of your toes.

the two pregnancy tests sat side by side in your brightly lit bathroom. after seeing the word ‘positive’ on the first test, you had rushed straight back to the convenience store, assuming, no, praying that it was a mistake. less than half an hour later, though, your fear was confirmed.

anguish and anxiety riddled your bones; confusion lay dormant in your soul. 'how could this be?' you wondered in a panic. your mind immediately began to race, as if it hadn't been before, and thoughts about the future quickly crept in.

in a matter of months, you would be graduating from the 12th grade, and you were set to begin your first semester at a prestigious university nearby. what's more is that the university offered a select number of students generous scholarships based on merit and academic excellence, with you being a lucky recipient. your parents bragged for months, and still continue to do so; nearly everyone you know, even acquaintances, were aware of the achievement. what would happen if all of the sudden you declined to attend school? how, then, would everyone you know view you? or, what if you attended school whilst pregnant? what kind of reputation would this build? ‘they're going to think i'm some kind of whore,’ you catastrophized, the heat of the moment only intensifying the irrationality of the ideas.

furthermore, your boyfriend of one year, su-bong, had been ambitiously planning and curating a career in music longer than the two of you had been dating. su-bong, fortunately, found connections within the industry through social media and friends of friends of friends. he planned to begin his journey as a rapper as soon as he graduated. he would be incredibly busy, and you knew this. he would hardly have time for your relationship, let alone a child.

a ding from your phone pulled you from your thoughts back into reality. the screen lit up the opposite side of the bed, and you couldn’t make out anything other than your boyfriend’s contact name and photo on the lock screen.

'inhale, 2, 3, 4, hold... exhale 5, 6, 7, 8,' you repeated in your mind over and over, hoping that the breathing exercise would provide even an ounce of comfort, ‘you can do this, you can do this, you can do this.' the phone had shut off due to inactivity by the time you reached for it, only to light up again as you reluctantly opened his message.

you good ma? the text read.

though you could tell he meant no harm, the lack of seriousness in his tone only added to your anxiety, practically undoing the breathing exercises you practiced before. it took a few moments to build up your once more and finally respond.

~

“thats sick, bro,” su-bong spoke into the mic, conversing with his friend nam-gyu over discord, “yo, i need back up over here.”

su-bong had a habit of playing video games rather than focusing on his studies. ‘why does it matter anyways? i don’t plan on going to college,’ he would think. whenever he wasn’t with you (you were most always his first option after school), he would be on the game, either alone or with his friend. su-bong did, also, have a habit of keeping his phone close by, should you ask him to hang out or face time. it was nothing out of the ordinary when the screen lit up displaying your contact name. he glanced at his phone expecting to see, can we call? or want to go get ice cream? something sweet and innocent. the message, however, caused his heart to drop.

we need to talk, plz text me when you can.

su-bong absentmindedly abandoned his task in the game as his heart fell deep into his chest. he couldn't help himself, and immediately assumed the worst, ‘no way she’s about to break up with me.'

“are you lagging or something man? you’re boutta be killed!” nam-gyu’s voice rang through su-bong’s headphones, snapping su-bong back into the moment. su-bong didn't have the capacity to snap back at his friend as he usually would. instead, he spoke the first excuse that came to his mind.

“yo my wifi isn’t working, i gotta hop off."

“whatever bro, i’ll catch you later,” nam-guy answered, and su-bong didn’t stay on the call for a second more. he shedded the headphones and xbox controller from his body, and grabbed his phone already thinking of a somewhat unbothered and collected reply to send.

you good ma? su-bong finally decided on. though he held up his nonchalant persona, the message failed to reveal his concern for the situation at hand. he loved you, yet he couldn’t bare to be caught off guard; he would not allow anyone, not even you, to see him this troubled.

moments later, three dots appeared on this screen, indicating that you were actively typing a response. the dots lasted ages, he felt, or perhaps time slowed due to his anxiety. finally, a message came through.

i really need you to not get mad at me please subong

he sighed, knowing all too well what was about to happen. ‘who does she think she is breaking up with me over text?’ he thought, immediately replacing his feelings of sadness with outrage and anger. su-bong didn’t like to feel sad, and so he typically opted for harsher, more "acceptable for men" feelings. his inability to be vulnerable manifested in, almost, a superiority complex mixed with toxic masculinity ideals.

whatever, he typed angerly, your loss wom…

im pregnant.

the message appeared before he could even finish typing. he didn’t even have time to feel relief about the fact that you had not broken up with him (over text, too), as the news hit him like a truck.

~

its not that you wanted to tell him over text, in fact, you realized after the fact that it probably was a bad idea to do so… perhaps it was even disrespectful. in your delirious state, however, it seemed like the right move.

you stared at the i'm pregnant message on your screen, seeing no indication of him typing which was present moments before; it immediately stopped after you pressed send. you could hardly stay calm, especially knowing full well that he had seen the message.

you wanted to throw the phone, not to the end of the bed, but this time through the wall or out the window. your mind betrayed you; it craved a response but also begged to avoid it at all costs.

without realizing how much time had passed, you looked down at the screen, seeing that he already responded.

︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶

it was 9:15 am on a saturday morning. su-bong pulled up and parked his car outside of your home, sending a quick message to let you know he had arrived.

you sat looking at yourself in the vanity mirror in your bedroom. a hand rested on your stomach, the supposed home of the child that had yet to develop. your emotions ran rampant the past week, and at this point you felt numb. though you felt you should be emotional, perhaps even crying, your body would not let you.

su-bong and you had come to the conclusion that termination would be the best option as you both had so much ahead, and since you both were far too young to be parents, let alone good parents.

your phone screen illuminated showing a message from su-bong. without even checking, you sprung into action. 'its time,' your mind thought as you pulled a crewneck (which previously belonged to him) over your frame, then grabbing your tote bag before making your way to his car.

su-bong picked up his head at the sound of the passenger side door opening, revealing you. he couldn’t bring himself to smile, and nor could you; he instead decided to place a light kiss on your cheek once you were seated, and he rested his hand on your thigh as he began to drive.

9:23 the clock read. you glanced out the window, remaining silent just as he did. the world around you seemed so normal; people walking in the neighborhoods, cars driving down the road, birds singing and flying in the sky. everything went on as normal despite your current predicament. the world had no idea what you were going through. it was painful in a sense, yet also beautiful how life could go on even in the midst of hardship.

a light squeeze on your thigh brought you back to reality. you turned to glance at the clock which now read 9:39. su-bong slowed down and turned into the parking lot of the clinic. it was hard to miss the small group of protesters on the sidewalk, attempting to dissuade individuals from stepping foot into the building. they sent glares you and su-bong’s way, intensifying your anxiety and bringing on a feeling of guilt.

as if su-bong could sense your unease, he spoke, “ignore them, ma.” upon parking the car, he held up his middle finger to the people that could see him, though it didn’t necessarily do much to calm you down.

once parked, su-bong reached into his pocket pulling out a disorganized wad of cash. the two of you worried about the funds needed to pay for the abortion, and came to the decision that no matter what, you would work together to cover the cost. over the past week, you collected money from your savings, as well as birthday and holiday money. you even went as far as asking your parents for some extra “gas money” to get you through the month.

he handed you the cash, which you placed in your pocket. the two of you exited the car and were immediately met with angry shouts from protesters. su-bong cursed at them, flicking them off once more, and attempted to guard your body from their view with his own.

once inside, you were immediately hit with freezing cold air and the scent of rubbing alcohol, typical of a doctors office.

the two of you made your way to the waiting area and stopped at an empty couch. “i’m going to go check in,” you said. he immediately pulled you into a tight embrace, resting his head on top of yours. he hoped that he could provide you with comfort, even if only a little.

“you can do this,” he whispered, “and i’ll be right here waiting for you.”

you wanted to sob in his arms and stay there forever, however you forced yourself into motion. taking a few deep breaths, you pulled away to look into his eyes, "i love you."

“i know,” he replied. he had never been comfortable saying the three worded phrase, which sometimes bothered you, however you know in your heart what he meant.

taking another deep breath, you pulled away completely and made your way to the receptionist. soon after, you were escorted to the back. soon the anguish will be over.

~

su-bong sat with his head in his left hand, his elbow propped on the arm of the couch. he struggled to keep his eyes open even though it had only been roughly 20 minutes since you disappeared from the lobby. he had no interest in his phone, nor the Weight Loss and PEOPLE magazines laid out on the coffee table in front of him. the televisions in the lobby displayed nothing; the room was practically silent aside from one or two conversations going on between others. very few people aside from him were in the clinic, and so he took the time to sit in solitude.

he slowly, though, began to doze off. just as he felt himself slipping into a light sleep, the door to the back burst open. you walked quickly, making a b-line straight for him. su-bong stood up, slightly startled, yet relieved to see you. the relief didn’t last very long though.

“can we go?” you asked in a hurried tone, “like, now?”

although confused, he shook his head yes, picking up his jacket from the couch, then following you as you hurried to the exit. once outside, you two were again met with shouting from the protesters.

before su-bong could retaliate, you grabbed his forearm, “please don't pay attention to them, lets just go.”

he fought against you for a moment, wanting nothing more than to approach and destroy the nagging individuals. however, he complied with your request once processing the urgency in your voice. he opened the car door for you, then quickly walked around the front, flicking the group off one last time before entering the car and driving away.

su-bong's mind wandered, though focused on driving. he felt somewhat afraid by your urgency, and also the fact that you started to sob silently. he placed his hand on your thigh just as he did on the ride before.

“so, uh, what happened in there?” he asked unsure.

“i-,” you spoke reluctantly between sobs, “i just… i couldn’t do it.”

su-bongs eyes widened and he immediately pulled his hand back to the steering wheel. “wh-what do you mean you couldn’t do it?” he stuttered, at a loss for words. he subconsciously began to speed up; he must have been going 15 miles per hour over the '25' limit at least.

“su-bong please slow down,” you petitioned in an attempt to stay calm. you could sense his negative emotions, and wanted to keep the conversation as mellow as possible.

“screw that, don’t try to change the subject, woman,” he demanded, allowing his anger to speak for him.

“don’t call me woman,” you, too, demanded, raising your voice to match his. the heat of the moment mixed with his anger caused you to lose your temper briskly, and abandon any attempts at a civil conversation, “you have no idea how i feel or how difficult it was to be in there.”

he scoffed in return. “you’ve got to be kidding me,” he spoke dismissively.

“don’t speak to me that way,” you said sternly, “its my body-“

“i get its your body-“

“and i don’t think i can do an abortion,” you cried.

su-bong shook his head in confusion, “what do you mean you don’t think you can do it? you had everything you needed back there, and we got the money to pay-“

“it’s not about the money, you don’t get it!”

“what am i not getting?” he shouted, slamming on the breaks and whipping the both of you forward. luckily, there was nobody else on the road.

“what am i not getting? huh? what, you want to be the knocked-up hoe in your college classes?” he taunted, raising his hands in confusion.

“stop yelling at me,” you begged, anxiety welling up and causing you to cry even more, "and don't you dare call me a ho-"

“you realize we’re kids ourselves, right? we shouldn’t he having a baby right now,” he interrupted, staring you dead in the eye.

“yeah well thanks for caring about what i think and feel. you’ve always been so great at that,” you scoffed, unbuckling your seatbelt and opening the car door.

“alright whatever,” he rolled his eyes, slamming his hands on the steering wheel, “walk then, bitch.”

“i was planning on it,” you sneered, slamming the door as hard as you could.

without hesitation, su-bong stomped on the gas pedal, practically leaving you in the dust. his actions caused you to let out an angry sob, yet your body began walking. you just wanted to be home.

seconds later, regret crept through su-bong's body. he realized how far you two were from your residence. as badly as he wanted to run from the situation, he realized he couldn't simply leave you, his love, alone to walk multiple blocks. he let out an angry groan, resisting the temptation to run. he changed gears, reversing swiftly back to you whilst rolling down the passenger side window simultaneously. he slowed down upon meeting you, placing his car back in drive. you, however, continued walking, attempting to pay him no mind. his anger only rose in reaction to your response; he had no desire to chase you down the block, “so you’re just gonna walk out of this car like that?”

“yeah thats exactly what i’m gonna do!” you shouted back.

“i can’t just leave you out he-“

“leave me alone.”

"listen to me-"

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" you repeated, stopping to kick dirt toward his car.

“whatever," he scoffed, "FUCK YOU!”

“FUCK YOU,” you screamed. like the last time, he speeded off, leaving you by yourself.

︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶

days went by, then weeks, then months with no word from su-bong. the first few days were debilitating. aside from the fact that you were experiencing an unplanned pregnancy, the love of your life had completely abandoned you when you needed him most.

eventually after a couple of weeks, still with no word from su-bong, you decided to come clean to your parents. it took a few days to muster the courage to inform them about the pregnancy, and how you were practically deserted in the situation. initially, they were shocked and disappointed not only in you, but also in su-bong for abandoning you. despite the pain it caused you, you understood. this was not part of the plan.

after the initial shock wore off, your parents showed compassion and sympathy for you, their dear daughter. they vowed to not only help you in any and every way, but also to be present in the situation. of course, their decision to do so provided you with a sense of comfort. however, the pain of losing su-bong still lingered in your mind.

~

two months later you stood adorned in your cap and gown. the line of back stage was long, yet you couldn't help yourself from searching for him in the sea of students. it was odd how he was a stranger to you now; so much time spent together all but flushed away.

su-bong's name was called far before yours, and you watched as he walked across the stage, posing for a photo with the principal. anxiety rushed through you; merely seeing him caused anguish to bubble and brew within you. your gaze didn't leave his body as he step down from the stage, oblivious to your intense observance.

you knew in your heart that it would be the last time you would see him. you knew it to be a fact especially in the weeks leading up to the ceremony. it had finally hit you, though, on this day, in this moment.

and so it was.

[pricklyjim]

What inspired you to create this universe, and what themes or ideas do you hope to explore through the series? By the way love your art style ✨️

I guess it was just a bunch of separate things that eventually led me to creating it.

I made a fanfic, and came up with a story of a younger Orion meeting a future version of Megatron, I didn’t continue with it- but i kept thinking,

Wait- what if they just-

Never met?

And I kept thinking, and thinking, and thinking about it until I drew up a few sketches for the both of them, but younger.

I took this little snippet from the story to use for inspiration when doing Orions design.

from rough sketch to finalvvv

and then I came up with more and more sketches that I eventually smashed together at work and posted.

As for themes, I want to focus on themes such as:

What makes a person do what they do?

how can someone fall so far from a philosophy they created, how did they get there? and what was the exact moment in time it all changed for them?

Sense of self

are we our past selves? or are we only who we are in this exact moment? perhaps we are an amalgamation of every collective experience we’ve ever had— But what happens when you don’t relate to you past self?

what exactly is love?

what is love, really? something that happens when first meeting someone?- No, of course not. Love isn’t instantaneous—it grows over time.

Love at first sight isn’t real, not in the way people think. What we mistake for love is often an attraction to the unknown, the idea of someone. and love isn’t built on that—it’s built on conversation, on connection, and remembering the little things that make someone who they are, falling in love with their mind and it’s intricacies  and who they are rather then the idea of that person made up in your head.

those are some of the major topics I enjoy exploring in my free time, I don’t know if i’ll ever get to fully investigate them in the comic, but I always have these in the back of my mind when writing for anything i do as they are some of my favourite topics.

[shadowsofdarkness]

Intro to Nonduality:

What if the key to true freedom lies in understanding that the separation between 'you' and 'the world' never truly existed?

What is Nonduality?

"The moment you see through the illusion of separateness, you realize that the whole universe is your own self." – Ramesh Balsekar

Nonduality is a philosophical and spiritual concept that unveils the interconnected nature of reality beyond the human form and its deceptive illusion of separation. It teaches that the sense of an individual self, separate from the world and the universe, is a false identity. The 'individual self' is not the true essence of who we are—it's merely a mental construct that reinforces the illusion of separateness. Nonduality reveals that the underlying source of all existence and the entire universe is the infinite essence of consciousness—the true self.

Consciousness & Awareness - Essence of Nonduality:

"What you are looking for is already within you, in the form of pure consciousness, the essence of who you truly are." – Adyashanti

Consciousness is the unlimited source of all experiences and the essence of existence itself. It is the pure underlying presence in which everything arises. This pure consciousness is ultimately the true self’s nature beyond everything and all experiences. It is the fundamental essence of reality that completely transcends all. 

Awareness is the aspect of consciousness that allows you to experience and perceive everything being experienced through the unique lens of perception you hold. It is the witness of all thoughts, emotions, and experiences without becoming involved or identified with it. Awareness serves as the observer.

Why is knowing this important?

"Knowing the self is the beginning of freedom. When you realize that you are not separate from everything, you break free from the illusion of duality." – Eckhart Tolle

Understanding the interconnected nature of reality revolves around being able to understand consciousness and the aspects of it that allow you to have a human experience in order for consciousness to recognize itself as the creator of all existence and its manifestation of humanity. Understanding the true self to be consciousness comes with many profound spiritual results such as:

Self-Awareness & Clarity:

It is essential to recognize that your true self is beyond all thoughts, emotions, and experiences in order to peacefully detach from them and break identification with them.

Understanding your consciousness allows you to see yourself as the observer of your experiences, rather than getting caught up in them or consumed by the stories playing out. This transformative shift in perception brings clarity, peace, and a deep sense of freedom, ultimately leading to liberation as the witness and source of it all.

Inner Peace: Recognizing your true self as consciousness allows you to explore and engage with your experiences from a place of peace and stability, regardless of the circumstances or stories that unfold before you.

Understanding the True Nature of Reality: This transformation in your perception of reality allows you to explore its true nature, cultivating a deeper connection with the underlying interconnectedness of all existence. As a result, you develop a greater appreciation for the ultimate beauty of the human experience.

Transcending the Ego - By breaking down the wall of the false sense of self and its identification with thoughts, emotions, desires, and experiences, you transcend the ego. As you do, you realize your true self as consciousness, and the mental construct of the ego becomes the servant rather than the master of the mind. This transformation allows you to experience life with greater peace and freedom. It’s about ascending beyond the ego’s control, revealing your true self beyond its mask.

Freedom & Liberation From Suffering - Much of human suffering arises from attachment to the false sense of self and the belief in separation from the world. By realizing that the true self transcends these mental constructs, you free yourself from the cycle of suffering, leading to greater bliss and contentment in the present moment.

Living With Liberation & Confidence As the Source - Realizing your true self allows you to live with spiritual confidence and liberation, as you come to recognize yourself as the limitless source of all existence and experience. Your perception of conscious manifestation transforms, shifting to see it as a flowing expression of consciousness, experiencing itself through you in the human form.

Increased Feelings of Compassion & The End of Dualistic Thinking - Recognizing your true self brings about stronger feelings of compassion and empathy, as you begin to see the same true self in everyone you encounter. By ending dualistic thinking, you come to view the entire nature of reality as interconnected and ever-changing, rather than divided by separation—an illusion that only reinforces the sense of disconnection.

Spiritual Fulfillment - Through understanding the true nature of the self as consciousness and having a direct experience of connection with it, the ultimate goal of many spiritual traditions—enlightenment or self-realization—is realized. Recognizing that your true self is beyond the mind, body, and all of existence itself inevitably leads to profound spiritual fulfillment, reinforcing a lasting and divine connection with your true self.

×××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××

"When you realize that there is no 'other,' there is only one, you awaken to the true nature of reality, and life becomes an expression of love." – Gangaji

This understanding of the nondual nature of reality allows you to transcend the limiting perception of yourself. It enables you to develop a deeper spiritual connection with your true self as consciousness, and to live with a profound sense of freedom and liberation. By recognizing that your truest essence of being is entirely beyond the mind and human creation, you experience life from a place of deeper self-awareness and inner peace.

[marzipanilla]

tabs w tabs under tabs.

Platonic connections do get shafted very badly by the narrative, huh? Arguably the Grayson family dynamic does get a decent spotlight, but Debbie is pretty significantly changed from her role in the comic, so her relationship with Mark is new to the adaption as well as her overall dynamic with Noaln.

Y'know, I didn't even think about the 'no choice/expectation' angle of the relationship? Like, Mark spends his whole life thinking he's gunna be a Hero Like Dad, and in his personal life suddenly he's got Girl Who Likes You For Sure So You Better Date Her. Like. Where is your choice in the matter. Half tempted to do a 'he and Amber work shit out or at the very least he shelves Eve's interest in him and just does literally anything else' fic bc of what he knows. Like yeah bud, it's okay to do something that isn't predetermined.

Screw going on a date, just hit up taco tuesday with Kate and talk about being a civilian vs being a hero.

A hero's sense of bodily autonomy must be seriously borked in Invincible universe, since most of them ARE lab experiments. And Rex definitely seems like the kind of person who wouldn't let things go that easily. Why wouldn't he be mercilessly weird about? Why wouldn't his fucked up feelings about it spill out over onto Amanda? Like, hey, if you date him, at least you'll know when he gets older he'll look like this. if you suck my dick it's the same dick so it doesn't count as cheating : ) Like. That would could AND SHOULD lbr get real fucking weird with how he acts around him. Or am I supposed to go with him having one outburst before just going 'I'm okay actually (internally screaming)'. But yeah, why AREN'T every member of GoG now worried about what he'd do to them without their consent/knowing? Did the GDA figure out it was Robot who let the Mauler Twins out in the first place? I mean he knew where they were and arrested them once he got what he wanted, and there ain't no way they aren't talking about who they worked for? Ain't no way ppl don't realize it was them who helped Rudy out, right ?? Right? ??

Imagine Debbie having to sit Mark down like 'I know you're a hero but I can't have you freeloading on me when I'm 70. Please get a job that actually pays you'. What's the living at home still culture of heroes? For the non-indestructible ones, how do they cover all those damn medical bills? Does Art run a special payment plan on suits?? how much do those indestructible suits cost?? why isn't he outfitting the fire department ?? does he ?? I do love the throwaway line that implies he also outfits anti-heroes/villains tho. Like. I'm neutral. I just make clothes. bruh. Darkwing fought some of your clients ?? bc he was willing to go after other heroes or bc they were doing crime ?? Art explain.

Mark seeking a mentor/refusing mentorship after his dad would have been neat. I saw someone say he and Immortal had a parental thing and I just squinted at my screen like ??? where ??? where do you see that ??

Also, I will laugh and laugh and laugh forever about the show giving me just enough rope to hang the entire Levy incident on Immortal lol Like, bro really went to stalk a recently injured TEENAGER to yell at him rather than do his job scouting the ruins of a fight HIS TEAM should have been at to begin with, and BOTH survivors of the blast got away to wreak more havoc. You suck bro.

It's like, I get it to some degree, the greater global stuff isn't what the narrative is focusing on - this is adapted from a 20 year old comic- but like you're changing mediums! You're tweaking the story ! Give us a throwaway line about how this world operates! One pissy comment from someone about Cecil/the GDA being the real shadow government, borders melted long ago ! Yet, the one line we kind of get about stuff, is Bulletproof calling out Cecil for only being interested in saving white Americans! And it's like. if that comment wasn't total snark, does that mean Cecil IS hoarding very important global resources to protect a small population? How many other organizations are trying to do the same? Does he just have the monopoly on power right now because he got control of GoG? Also still baffled that Immortal cared so much to yell at Shapesmith about AMERICANS getting left behind on Mars and not just, y'know, HUMANS. Why was that an important factor in the anger Immortal. Why.

Are there incentives to try and get superheroes to have kids in your country?? Recruiters?? We'll pay your bills if you keep us alive and ONLY us? Live here for free, but you work for us kind of shit. Has to be.

Debbie being so chill with Mark going into space bc as a toddler the damn GoG where taking him around the planet doing insane shit with him in the back seat lol There had to have been some Incident with Cecil. Girl you just yelled at a man taking medical care of your comatose husband. 'You have some nerve' she yells at Cecil the moment he shows his face. SOME NERVE? About what? What happened between you two????

Like I'd love to poke more at her sense of physical danger in the hero world. I lover her ambivalence about the destruction of the white house, and Nolan going into alien portals being Tuesday, like- does she have a weird bubble in her brain that bad things happen To Other People? Arguably she had a bit of one for Nolan that burst when he was in the coma, but how much does that extend to what she thinks could physically happen to her? I do love how willing she is to full on confront Nolan about stuff and part of my brain just wants to be like 'that's a sign of a healthy relationship, being able to bring up your concerns w your partner' and the other half of my brain is just like 'Debbie isn't the least bit hesitant about confronting a massive brick shit house of a guy ?? does she just have no sense of personal danger ?? what was her upbringing ???' or am I suppose to conclude that in a superhero world where crazy shit happens all the time People Are Just Like That, bc yeah, you could die in an alien swarm invasion so why hold back talking to the people who could physically hurt you ! There's men running around with canons welded to their arms ! you got nothing to lose !

While I'm not too familiar with the DCU- your batfam meta posts are intiguing- so in transfering some of the broader strokes from them- I think you tackling a 'Mark isn't Nolan's biological son' fic would be fascinating. Sort of a step to the side of the 'what if Mark never got his powers' fic that sometimes pop up in the fandom

OOOOOO chewing on this currently, hm, the much a distinct flavor of exactly what you’re talking about, but the potential for more family drama depending on WHO knows. Does Mark know?? Is he waiting every day only to be crushed? Does he confused non-Debbie features with Nolan’s? I suppose I’m not the most enthusiastic about non-power AUs, but I think there’s something very fun to explore about Mark having to settle with, if he knows all his life, he will never have powers? I think the trajectory of his dreams will obviously shift, I can see him still having that distinct fatherly idolization, but perhaps embraces being useful to the GDA? Cecil’s number one intern—only intern—curtesy of nepotism, ha! There is something tickling me about Mark taking the Robin Route/Role for the Teen Team in terms of having no powers, just insane skills, BUT there’s something way more delicious about intern Mark when s1e01 happens and Mark tries snooping around to find out the truth about what happened to his Dad.

I wonder if, with Mark having a whole another father, if they’re more or less distant relationship, depending on WHEN Nolan entered Mark’s life? Like if Debbie met Nolan later for this, or just for fun, they dated once, separated (Mark being born during then), then they happened to stumble into each others lives again and Mark’s already been born, anywhere from tween to teenager so there’s a gap in how close they are. I feel like one important aspect of the whole Family Drama is how close they’re supposed to be, a functional, loving family turned upside down? So I wonder what more distance does. I wonder how Nolan copes when his family is entirely human and he can’t project onto Mark.

I love thinking about these, omg.

[pharawee]

"Dol, I know the answer now. I don't like you just because you're my soulmate. I like you for who you really are."

—EVERY YOU, EVERY ME · ทุกๆ เธอที่รัก · Universe 01/08

[stil-lindigo]

ashes to ashes.

a short comic about the day Ash was born.

Ash's story

Red and Wolf's story

notes:

--

all my other comics

store

[thestarfishface]

tfw you have a loose collection of ideas for a new story but it's still really early on so most of it's really loose concepts and not anything solid enough to fully brainstorm, but you REALLY REALLY want to get to the point where you can DO something with it

I have essentially planted a mystery seed in the garden and am now staring at the little patch of soil waiting for something to happen and it's driving my CRAZYYYYYYY

[pm-my-beloved]

I want to add onto attaching Star Luminary to a sinner, with another one being : Emil Sinclair. First the motiff of fortunetelling, while not present in Limbus Sinclair yet, the Book Emil was able to have semi-prothetic dreams. Then we have perception affecting essence of things. The mark of Cain in Demian is not some supernatural power, rather, it is a sort of expression people who question state of things, and push boundaries have, marking them as "Different" in the eyes of society. Just the different perception of Mark of Cain from the biblical one, affects the essense of what it is, completly altering its meaning. Thus, as someone with such mark, someone with capability to see things in a different light from others, Sinclair is capable of seeying different reality. Thirdly, A different take to "Return to something that doesn't exist anymore". Blue star, and thus Blue Star adjescent abnormalities, will have thematic underline of Idolatry and Worship. Sinclair, both book and limbus, has a strong tendency to idolise people, taking them as both model and authority figures, trying to adjust himself to what he believes would satisfy them the most. He in fact, struggles without having a guidance figure to look up to, feeling lost without it, same as Luminary missing its connection to the Blue Star.

Then, there is an aspect we haven't reached in Limbus yet. Coming back to the failed check quote. "It can no longer go back, that the only thing it can do is try to become a star itself." This is embodiment of the arc that is set up for Emil. His story, is about following and clinging to an authority, but also, about growing past need for it. "The bird must break free from its shell, and the egg is the world." And to break free, to break the world, is to become a star, someone who's will and self determination is powerful enough that they exist for themselves, and may even be inspiration for others. After all, "Demian" was written by Emil Sinclair himself in universe. Additional context for this one : Harolds Book in Library of Ruina says such

Project Moon very distinctly sets up "Starhood" as being somebody, who's desires and means to achieve them are strong enough to be guiding points of people in the City.

And finally, Sinclair's themes of Duality, but rather than Hong Lu's take on it, Emils is that of Thesis, Antithesis and Synthesis, to be one leg in the world of darkness and one in world of light. To self actualise, is to both reach for the star one wishes to be, and to accept that the star is simply a marble, a goal set by oneself.

On that note, fun fact, within the book Demian gives a story on a man who was in love with a star, and deeply wished to be with it, but rather than pursue that desire with his whole heart, he gave excuses and eventually gave up, proving he never was worthy of it. The star symbolism traces even back then.

I may have sent this before, but may I give the thought of Star Luminary for hong lu's waw? I'm not super certain on it for 'em, but I feel like with how his canto refers to a sundering there'll be a case that he can't go home anymore.

as a bonus, it fits our last waw reciever to a T.

Well, for one, it's not Sundered, it's Surrendered, which to me moreso implies that Hong Lu will have no choice but to be surrendered back to his home or otherwise have no agency in what's happening, which fits what his position in the Family is implied to be, that being one lacking agency.

Either way, let's take a look at Star Luminary.

I believe we're dealing with two major themes here - the themes of perception affecting the essence of things and the themes of wishing to go back to something that no longer exists. We're also dealing with a minor motif of fortune telling.

Let's get the fortune telling motif out of the way. This motif is primarily within the E.G.O gifts associated with the Abnormality, that being Tomorrow's Fortune, the crystal ball directly given by it, and Oracle, a small blue star surrounded by cosmic clouds, which while Not directly tied to Star Luminary just yet, has enough pointers implying they might be connected. This motif could also be seen through the Abnormality being described to be saying things as if they knew what the players was thinking.

The two major themes are exemplified in the different choices you can make with the Abnormality in its MD Event.

The choice to deny the marbles being stars results in an exploration of the first theme. Regardless of whether you succeed the skill check or not, the core of what Star Luminary says is the same - stars are what you percieve them as, what they are in your mind. If you see them as marbles, then that's how you see them and that's what they are to you. There's a sort of subtle duality to this idea, as in both results the orbs are essentially both marbles and stars at the same time.

The second choice, the one to agree that they are stars, lets us explore the second theme. Similarly to the previous one, regardless of whether you succeed the skill check or not, Star Luminary admits to wishing to go back to the blue star. A failure of the skill check will result in the Abnormality admitting that it can no longer go back, that the only thing it can do is try to become a star itself. A success on the other hand gives an interesting bit of text from the player's perspective - "You have no idea where it may be, and you certainly aren't from it, but you feel the urge to go back to it." The Blue Star isn't necessarily a 'home', but something that compels people to 'come back to it' anyway.

So, with all of that laid out... Yeah. Yeah I can definitely see Hong Lu fitting an E.G.O from this Abnormality.

The motif of duality is already a constant for Hong Lu, and the idea of perception affecting the essence of things fits very well with the "Truth becomes fiction when the fiction's true. Real become not-real when the unreal's real." motif of DOTRC that I believe is likely to play a big role in Hong Lu's Canto.

I could also see the second theme applying to Hong Lu, though not in the straightforward manner you imply it to. As is tradition of me at this point to connect everything to them, I believe this motif could apply to Baoyu's feelings about Daiyu. Daiyu is Baoyu's 'Blue Star' that he can't go back to, due to what is essentially their death. And, in the case of Two in One, just like Star Luminary can only try to become a star itself by emitting a similar glow, Baoyu can only carry Daiyu with him through bearing their visage.

Hell, even the minor motif of fortune telling works with him, and not just because his chosen emoji is a Crystal Ball. Hong Lu has this minor tendency to act as if he already knows what's going to happen. There's of course the TKT bit where he seems disappointed that things went according to plan, calling the world "as familiar and changeless as ever" in response. But it actually goes back much further. All the way back in Canto 2, Hong Lu seems to already be aware of the Sinners' exact destination for the Canto, even though the following conversation between Vergilius and Outis shows no Sinners were actually informed about that until after he makes a comment.

So. Yeah! It genuinely works shockingly well!

[my-name-is-apollo]

Having a "I've connected the dots" moment on why Zeus is so affectionate with Apollo, and I don't know why I'd never considered it before that Apollo's youth could be a reason.

Iamblichus, The Life Of Pythagoras (trans. Guthrie)

So there was this sentiment that young boys are the dearest to the gods, and the gods are especially attentive towards their requests. And since Apollo is a perpetual young boy himself, with Zeus being the one to grant him this gift in one version, it makes sense that Zeus has granted so many of Apollo's wishes. He spared Prometheus and Periphas upon Apollo's request even though he was personally offended by them. He agreed to suppress Gaia and Athena upon Apollo's request when it came to the oracular business. He even revived Asclepius to console Apollo despite Apollo's frankly disrespectful reaction to Asclepius' death.

Apollo might be fearsome, powerful, and even reckless at times but when he kneels down in supplication, all Zeus sees is his little boy that he loves so much, and he can't help but give in to his requests (well, most of his requests at least). And as far as the text is concerned, and if I'm interpreting this correcltly, Apollo's youth is interestingly tied to his helpful nature because besides using his own powers to help the humans, Apollo can also help them by supplicating to Zeus on their behalf, as Zeus is more likely to grant a request when it's coming from him.