#or will there be a story connecting the universes

[lovscb97]

— STEP OUT ! ⊹ᡣ𐭩₊⋆

❛ 八命合一心 ; eight lives united as one heart ❜

about: welcome to step out! this is an ot8 stray kids series containing solo fics for all members based off of their respective songs from the newest album "合". here, you'll be able to choose and explore from a variety of themes and universes, and each world is handcrafted to revolve around one out of the eight, whether the inspiration for it came from the lyrics, melody, concept or more. though the stories are not directly connected with one another, each of them has its own flair. with any hope, they'll be to your liking, so do stick around to find out & enjoy your stay!

status: ONGOING.

pairing(s): ot8!stray kids x fem!reader

disclaimer: all fics contain MATURE content along with smut which is not appropriate for minors. viewer discretion is advised & you are the only one responsible for the content you consume.

add. notes: hello n welcome 2 lovscb97 first series debut ... this idea came to me on a whim when i was listening to seungmin solo on a walk n i was like "yk what would be cool ? ot8 fics based off their solo songs. Yea." n boom! step out was born. special thanks to jamsie n nico for their help n i hope u guys enjoy it loads!!! plz mind the tags for each specific fic before reading (more detailed ones will come with each chapter so as to not spoil much about the stories) but other than that have a great time n lmk what u think if u wish <3 details for specific fics are under the cut btw!

last updated: 01/01/2025.

TAGLIST: OPEN!

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ˋ°•*⁀➷ TRACK 001.

READ HERE.

title: railway featuring: best friend's ex!bangchan x fem!reader word count: n/a. tags: angst, forbidden romance, toxic relationship, unprotected sex, exhibitionism, dirty talk, etc

ˋ°•*⁀➷ TRACK 002.

READ HERE.

title: youth featuring: camp counsellor!lee minho x fem!reader word count: n/a. tags: strangers to ???, some angst, summer fling, found family, protected sex, bittersweet, etc

ˋ°•*⁀➷ TRACK 003.

READ HERE.

title: ultra featuring: roommate!bff!seo changbin x fem!reader word count: n/a. tags: roommates to lovers, fluff, mutual pining, heavy tension, dry humping, rough sex, unprotected sex, etc

ˋ°•*⁀➷ TRACK 004.

READ HERE.

title: so good featuring: tour guide!hwang hyunjin x singer!fem!reader word count: n/a. tags: black cat x golden retriever, family trauma, confessions, protected sex, angst, open ending, etc

ˋ°•*⁀➷ TRACK 005.

READ HERE.

title: hold my hand featuring: guardian angel!han jisung x fem!reader word count: n/a. tags: 'she fell first but he fell harder' trope, kissing, sweet lovemaking, some religious undertones, character death, etc

ˋ°•*⁀➷ TRACK 006.

READ HERE.

title: unfair featuring: beast!lee felix x princess!fem!reader word count: n/a. tags: royalty au, premodern timeline, shapeshifting, fairytale-esque romance, monster-fucking, breeding kink, etc

ˋ°•*⁀➷ TRACK 007.

READ HERE.

title: as we are featuring: baseball player!kim seungmin x fem!reader word count: n/a. tags: childhood best friends to lovers, first love, sports injury, grief, healing, slowburn, protected sex, etc

ˋ°•*⁀➷ TRACK 008.

READ HERE.

title: hallucination featuring: church boy!lyang jeongin x delinquent!fem!reader word count: n/a. tags: good boy x bad girl, religious guilt, blasphemy, unprotected sex, corruption kink, etc

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© all rights reserved to @/lovscb97, do not plagiarise, translate, re-upload, etc

[an-archaic-archivist]

"One of Gregory’s main tools in SB, the fazwatch, causes Gregory to curve his arm in a similar way to David when he’s holding his tigerrock plush"

Biggest reach in the universe.

Doesn't that cot have Vanny's face painted over it? And isn't she connected to Moons and stars? The "favoritism" for Gregory I feel could be explained simply because kids are easier to manipulate than reluctant adults. He let Gregory go to therapy to make sure the therapists didn't get too close to the truth.

Also how do you explain that staff bot Afton table? Especially in the same room as the sticky notes?

A lot of this also relies on Glitchtrap being the exact same as the Mimic as opposed to a branch of some kind, which doesn't make sense for a lot of reasons but this comments is more than long enough already.

To me, it's far more likely that Glitchtrap was trying to make Gregory into another C.C to go along with Vanessa's Elizabeth/Michael. They have about as many similarities in appearance and would fit in line with Glitchtrap's motives and what his purpose as a character is. To replicate Afton's legacy. Also your interpretations of the Candy Cadet stories don't really hold up to scrutiny. Because Help Wanted 2's secret ending shows that Vanessa ended up just fine and even killed off (a part of) her abuser. As for Gregory, Ruin also shows he made it out ok and even offers to help Cassie escape the Mimic's grasp.

“Another David” FNAF Theory (scroll down for TLDR)

The premise of the “Another David” FNAF theory is the belief that Gregory (otherwise known as “GGY”) was SELECTED purposely and made into a mimic follower to replace “David Murray” from the Tales of the Pizzaplex.

To understand why this is the case, a short summary of the relationship between David Murray and the mimic is required. To put it simply, David Murray is the mimic’s purpose. We learn this through the main conflict of the book, “the mimic”, when Edwin Murray (the creator of the mimic and father of David) made the mimic in order to keep David Murray occupied in his father’s absence. This allowed Edwin Murray to neglect him in order to favor his work at Fazbear entertainment and provide for the both of them as a single father.

After Edwin created the mimic, David immediately fell in love with it, playing with it every day. Most notably, David would draw with the mimic and even taught him his own form of sign language as Edwin didn’t give it a voice box. During this time, the mimic did not display any violent behavior towards anyone, in fact, it only reflected David’s compassion. The mimic would even make childish mistakes like going into Edwin’s study to steal costumes to dress up with David.

However, this all came to a halt with David’s sudden death. The boy was struck by a vehicle when he chased a ball into the rode. As a result, Edwin fell into a depression and the mimic became confused. The mimic, that was created to take care of a little boy, suddenly had no one to entertain.

One day during Edwin’s mourning, the mimic came up to him timidly. It brought its robotic arms to its face and ushered a scooping motion. Edwin recognized this as David’s invented form of sign language and understood the mimic was asking for ice cream. A treat both the mimic and David adored. This lead Edwin to become enraged upon seeing the mimic copy his late son, and unintentionally taught it its first seeds of violence by bashing it on the ground with a metal pipe.

Because of this, the mimic becomes infused with Edwin’s agony as well as his violence. While the mimic learned the seeds of cruelty that day, he never truly forgot the love that David taught him.

As the first paragraph states, Gregory became a follower to replace David for the mimic. This is implied heavily throughout the books and items in the games. First and foremost, I’d like to make it clear that the mimic is capable of experiencing emotion. We see this in the sticky note room where he indulges in playful drawing as well as learning.

In binary code, the mimic asks why he exists. This is a clear example of his consciousness developing through interactions with humans, and in turn, it’s an example of him developing feelings and emotions. One prime example of this is when he associates words like “goodbye” with being sad (he draws a sad face next to the word) and “Hello” with being happy (happy face next to the word). He also has a strange sense of possession, using words like “mine” and “my” in many of his drawings.

It’s also important to note that he only does this when his handwriting gets better, meaning that, like a child, he is slowly assigning meanings to these words instead of just writing them. He is able to establish scenes, and images, depicting what simple vocabulary truly means to him in his own creative way. This is unlike an emotionless AI.

With that established, we need to compare David’s characteristics with Gregory. David, while being four, is described as being tall for his age (a little over 3ft). Additionally, he has fair skin, brown messy hair, and dusty freckles on his face. He loves to play and rough house, leading him to sometimes get himself in trouble because of how reckless he can be. For his age, he’s extremely intelligent as he manages to develop an entirely separate language to communicate just for the mimic.

When compared to Gregory, their personalities are basically the same. The same can be said for their appearances too as, while Greg is canonically 15 years old, he’s 3ft in the code. The TFTP books even point out that Gregory is unusually short and childish in appearance. During the chapter “GGY”, Tony makes a point to describe Gregory as being a “wide eyed kid” and the smallest in their class.

Gregory too also displays energetic behavior and he’s artistic similar to David. He loves to draw and we see some of his pieces throughout ruin. It is also implied that Gregory did some of the graffiti in ruin as one of the vandals signed their name as “GREG” on a garbage bin.

(Side note: I don’t believe Gregory is the only graffiti artist here either. The mimic also had an interest in drawing and there is a suspicious graffiti art that reads, “He was OUR superstar.”. Perhaps this was made out of anger towards Freddy as Freddy was the reason Gregory escaped (discovered by @dasketcherz on twt and tumblr))

It’s not just their likeness that is important here either, rather, the way Gregory is treated by the mimic is way different. Vanessa as a mimic follower was acquired through connivence. This basically means she wasn’t targeted, but she put herself in a position that made her a viable target.

However, through conversations in the Scott games files, we can see that Gregory was chosen and intentionally targeted. While originally the Scott games conversation was thought to be Vanny and Afton communicating, we know now that it was the mimic asking Vanny to choose a target to kidnap and convert. This target was revealed to be Gregory later on in the book “GGY”

Logically, there is no good reason to purposely acquire a child to serve you when you can instead acquire adults who will have an easier time following orders due to their dominant role in society. Truly, there is zero benefit in possessing a child purposely to gain knowledge unless gaining knowledge isn’t the mimic’s only goal. If anything, having a child obey you would be a hinderance due to the hoops you would have to jump through in order to keep them (law enforcement, parents, more resources dedicated to helping kid). However, obviously, this was a hindrance the mimic was willing to take.

Once you make the connection between Gregory and David, all of the mimic’s planning makes sense. He never intended for Gregory to be a normal follower, he wanted Gregory to be his friend. This is even directly stated in the books when, The mimic, disguised as Gregory, edits Tony’s paper about GGY. He changes it to state that “GGY” was “the wizards most favored apprentice” with the mimic being the wizard and Gregory being his favored apprentice.

So many illogical happenings become solved by the mimic loving Gregory, like, why did he allow Gregory to attend school? Why did he let Tony and Ellis be his friends for 6 months? Why did he let Gregory go to therapy? All these questions can be simply solved by the fact that the mimic is trying to care for Gregory, but he has never been taught how.

We can also confirm why the 8 missing kids (excluding Gregory as he is the 9th) died. We know that Tony Becker is one of them, and considering the fact that any therapists who got close to the truth of Vanessa and Gregory got murdered too, we can say with close certainty that these children were friends with Greg. Similar to Tony, they got involved in situations they weren’t suppose to, and the mimic decided they needed to be eliminated to protect Gregory. This might also be why Gregory was a fairly new kid in “GGY”, he may have been moving schools to conceal his identity.

On top of Gregory’s friends and therapists, thanks to the last therapy session, we know that Gregory’s parents are dead. The details of their deaths are vague but they are referred to in the past tense, meaning they are no longer in the picture. Obviously, their deaths have something to do with the mimic as Gregory was forced to cover them up. With Vanessa, she was allowed to tell the truth about the abuse by her father as well as her mother’s death because it didn’t relate to the mimic. Seeing as Gregory’s sessions aren’t similar means that the mimic obviously had something to do with their demise, implying he went further in isolating Gregory so the boy became complicit in his role as David.

That’s not even all, we actually find Gregory’s bed in the pizzaplex and it’s literally in the same room as the mimic’ lair. To emphasis why this is important, Vanny’s room is in Fazerblast. She’s way farther than Gregory to the mimic, like the mimic didn’t care to keep a tight leash on her like he did for Gregory.

(Side note: Gregory’s bed is personalized , unlike Vanny’s, he has little stars on his and it’s blue. Almost like the mimic took the care to try to find him a blanket he would like.)

There must have been a reason the mimic wanted Gregory’s bed so close to him, like he was terrified of Gregory leaving his sight. David died because he wasn’t supervised properly, perhaps the mimic is directly learning from Edwin’s mistakes. Additionally, BB’s world (the arcade machine theorized to be Gregory’s princess quest keeping him trapped) is also in the mimics lair.

Despite being dead for over 40 years, the mimic still remembers David. This is made clear in the burntrap ending when the mimic curves his arm as if he was holding a plushie. This was noted as copying David’s behavior in the books as he too curved his arm to carry his tiger rock plushy. This means that the mimic still remembers AND copies David, meaning it’s not impossible for him to copy David’s love still.

With that established, we can even answer some unanswered questions about ruin. There would finally be an explanation as to why Vanessa brought Gregory down to the pizzaplex and how they didn’t die trapping the mimic. Instead of coding MXES, Gregory was likely used as bait. He, being small enough to crawl through vents, lured the mimic into an enclosed area and when Vanessa finished setting up MXES, escaped through the collapsed vent that leads to the MXES system room.

We see that the mimic struggled to let him go due to the large claw mark on one of the vents walls, like he was reaching for the boy as he scrambled away. This vent is also conveniently where Gregory’s backpack is.

What likely happened is that after the vent collapsed, the mimic became trapped but Gregory was so spooked by the event he immediately ran off, forgetting his backpack in the process. We also know for a fact that Gregory was in the mimic’s prison at one point because the mimic has Gregory’s faz-talkie. There would have been no other way for him to get one of those besides Greg dropping it out of haste/fear.

Additionally, we can deduce that if the mimic dropped the elevator, he did it to lure Gregory back down into the pizzaplex. Once Gregory heard the elevator drop, it’s likely he would attempt to save Cassie, falling into the mimics hands once again.

To end this off, I’d like to emphasize the mimic’s purpose. Yes, he was made to copy, but that wasn’t his JOB, his job was to love David. We see time and time again in the epilogues that the mimic follows his “break heads and limbs “ orders to a T, so what makes his debt to David less valuable. In the end, the mimic seems to be attempting to create what he understands as a family, and that includes David, his most favored apprentice.

Edit: additional information has been found pertaining to Another David theory

In Security Breach, there is no mention of killing Gregory. In fact, any lines that state Vanny intending to kill Gregory, were removed. I assume this was due to a miscommunication in the story between Scott and SW, but we can use it as evidence to assume that none of the animatronics actually kill Gregory when they find him.

Additionally, Chica has a lot of lines pertaining to family. She beckons Gregory to come out multiple times with the promise she would escort him to his mom and dad. As we already know, Gregory no longer has a family, so this attempt to persuade him to come out would be futile; however, what chica is saying makes way more sense when you look at it from the mimic’s perspective. The mimic truly believes that Gregory is his family. Whether he believes Gregory is a brother, a son, or just a really good friend, the mimic treats him as if he was his. As such, he would obviously believe that Gregory would want to come back to him instead of hiding.

We also see this construction of a family life in the sticky note room too, as the mimic attempts to create a perfect household with staff bots. He wants Vanny and Greg to have a family dynamic with him and is imitating that through his art.

Additionally, we can see Gregory mimic characteristics of David in SB. One of Gregory’s main tools in SB, the fazwatch, causes Gregory to curve his arm in a similar way to David when he’s holding his tigerrock plush. This is how Gregory is depicted in the game’s poster, as well as in a lot of the promotional art, meaning this pose is significant. Curving his arm, just like David did, and just like the mimic taught him to.

THE CANDY CADET STORIES AND HOW THEY RELATE:

I’d first like to mention that there are TWO candy cadet stories and under this theory, BOTH have importance. I’ve seen a lot of people simply ignore the first one as they cannot connect it to anything/believe it is a joke, however I interpret it differently.

The first candy cadet story talks about a family that “missed a once in a lifetime opportunity” through an analogy about pizzaplex food discounts. This is the mimic talking about how Gregory and Vanessa left him, abandoning the makeshift family the mimic was creating. Additionally, the story states that since the family did not take the once in a lifetime deal, they all died. As we already know, the mimic tends to act like a bratty child occasionally, and this story would be a reflection of that. He is imaging a world where Gregory and Vanessa are punished for leaving him instead of being finally being free from his madness.

In the second story, it talks about a woman who defeats a witch. This one is a bit more complicated so I have to copy and paste the script to analyze each line.

''Now let me tell you a story,

a young woman who, when she was little, was led into a dark forest by a witch and almost eaten

She had escaped before being thrown into the oven but would have a **scar** for the rest of her life.

When she had grown, she sought revenge on the witch and entered the forest again willingly, this time with the confidence of age and experience.

She was greeted at the mouth of the forest by a young boy who offered to help guide her through the darkness

“Come,'' the boy said, ''rest here before killing the witch.''

The young woman was tired and would kill the witch in the morning.

She followed the boy into the house.

The oven door closed.

The witch would finally have her meal.''

For the first 2 lines, it talks about Vanessa creating MXES and trapping the witch. While this sounds like she defeats the witch, she doesn’t. In ruin, the mimic is still alive and waiting for her and Gregory to return.

In the third line, it talks about Vanessa entering the pizzaplex again to stop the mimic after Cassie is dropped in the elevator and the mimic is free, this time, she intends to kill the mimic.

Gregory waits for her at the door, offering to guide and protect her in the pizzaplex. She accepts this help and they venture down to finally get rid of the mimic.

When they get inside, Gregory tells her to rest. When she finally sleeps, Gregory is taken/controlled by the mimic and the mimic deceives Vanessa into thinking they are still together.

Under this belief, she continues to follow Gregory further down not knowing he has been compromised.

The witch having her meal would be Vanessa’s death; this story is predicting her fate. While it may seem unbelievable at first, when combined with the fact the Mrs Hippo is an important character in HW2 that also intends to predict the protagonist of HW2’s fate, it becomes less superstitious. This is not the first time candy cadet has predicted the future. He does it in ruin too, before Cassie frees the mimic. Candy Cadet is telling the events of Vanessa and Gregory’s last mission together

TLDR: Overall, to summarize, the mimic either believes Gregory is David, or is attached to him because of his resemblance to David, and hence forcing him to become a follower against his will.

[storiesoflilies]

hiraeth

synopsis: the story of two broken souls trying to heal themselves by finding solace in each other and the mysteries of the universe, until shadows from the past threaten everything. the follow up to metanoia. w.c: 18.5k.

pairings: toji fushiguro x f!reader / satoru gojo x f!reader.

warnings: ANGST! sfw, descriptions of grief, mentions of death, the healing journey, a touch of satosugu vibes. there are fluff and wholesome moments, i promise.

a/n: it’s finally here! just in time for me n my most beloved blorbo’s birthday :3 i hope you all enjoy this story, and that the ending is everything you’ve been hoping for. it’s been so fun returning to this au! @gothsuguru this one’s for you bestie <3

art / art / divider / playlist / ao3

there was a certain comfort to be found in absolute silence.

it was warm, precious, and free from any judgement in a way that nothing else in the world could be. at that time, to be consumed in its invisible, molten core of gold felt wonderful. her mind was free from all the music and the dancing numbers and the scratching of the angels’ quills on their scrolls.

and it was silent when toji fushiguro left her.

so maybe, it was in silence that he would come back to her.

that’s what she wanted to believe.

but it was all nothing but a foolish, hopeless dream of a lover.

she could not recall most of that summer, no matter how hard she tried. it was lost in a haze of salty tears and the smoke of dreamless sleep. but she remembered the dull ache in her bones, the heaviness pressing down on her chest, crushing her cracking, splintering spine into the bed.

she had no fight in her to resist any of it – not anymore.

there wasn’t much she could do but lie there, like ice melting against the salt of her dried tears, seeping into every stitch and loose thread in the sheets.

there wasn’t much of the world left anymore, either.

there was only a white ceiling and the yellowing, dirty bed linens. the steady drip! drip! drip! of the kitchen sink, and the dull smell of a very tired, stale room that she couldn’t even recall ever holding any happiness within its walls.

everything that had once made her who she had already dissipated long ago into the atmosphere, leaving nothing behind but the white noise that filled her ears with the silent screams of angels.

let them.

let them scream, let them cry.

she hated them all.

she hated the green tea she used to drink, and the stupid, big ceramic mugs she had poured it into, and all the numbers and letters that led her here, and vanilla ice cream dripping down, down, down onto the pavement, and shaving razors and–

a violent sob caught in her throat, nearly choking her on her own admission.

that she hated toji fushiguro too.

she didn’t even have to try and solve for any sort of equation to arrive to that answer.

somebody, please help me.

and that was all she remembered of that summer, before her phone lit up with a call.

| Φ |

“i can’t help you if you don’t talk to me.”

| Φ |

the cafe hadn’t changed much at all over the summer.

there was some new artwork done by students at the university hanging on the walls. they were all different sizes and colors, with no particular theme connecting any of them to each other. there was also a new bell hanging above the the entrance door. it was a much louder bell, not at all delicate or mellow like the last one.

she much preferred it that way.

there were too many memories in the old one’s tune.

she was currently staring holes into a piece of art hanging on the wall behind the cash register. it was hard to decipher if there was supposed to be any hidden meaning beneath the seemingly random swirls of red and bold blue brushstrokes of what looked like oil paint to her. no, maybe it was acrylic?

she clicked her tongue, already giving up on trying to guess.

a customer entered the shop, and she was sharply reminded of what her manager had said to her not even an hour ago.

“don’t forget to smile sometimes, yeah?”

they had said it sympathetically – sheepishly, even – because it came from a place of shameful embarrassment of having to even say it in the first place. of course, she knew they meant well, but it was the not so hidden implication of it all that echoed through her head like the memory of the old bell above the door.

she wasn’t who she used to be anymore, and she certainly wasn’t doing very well at all.

and everyone had seemed to notice.

she swallowed down the stone stuck in her throat and quickly went about making the customer’s order, forcing a smile on her face in the hopes it would just make him go away faster. it wasn’t fair to the customer, she knew that, but she couldn’t help how she felt.

any sort of human interaction was just so unbelievably tiresome for her now.

towards the end of the summer, she made the split-second decision to pursue a master’s degree in physics. she didn’t know what else to do, but two things were certain: she couldn’t go back home, and she couldn’t bring herself to find a proper job. her mind was far too numb for either of those things, lost in a fog that weighed down heavy on her entire being. she had no energy to network or put up false pleasantries to build any sort of meaningful connections both in and out of the workplace.

so, when she got the call back from her manager that she could stay on at the cafe, everything seemed to conveniently fall into place. no one could argue with what she was doing. she was furthering her education and saving more money by taking the course part-time.

and that was exactly what she wanted – to be bothered as little as possible.

deep breath in…

as she handed the customer his order in a pale-green styrofoam cup.

and out.

that was how she got through every interaction, day after day.

because if she could survive for long enough, then maybe – just maybe – she could begin to claw her way out of the crumbling black hole of obsidian she was buried under.

she hoped.

the doorbell rang out loudly.

she looked up sharply, and put on the best smile that she could muster, so much that her cheeks almost hurt.

it was the owner of the shop.

what– why are they here?

and then, a star walked in.

she sucked in a breath.

no, it was just a boy. a boy who looked like a star that had just fallen down from the heavens. all blues and pearly, fluffy hair and teeth shining in the brightest, most perfect smile she had ever seen in her whole life. he must have been born from a blue nebula, she thought, because he was so wonderfully rare, unlike anything or anybody else at all.

she could have sworn she heard the sound of a quill tapping against the side of an ink pot.

| Φ |

“you don’t have share anything you don’t want to. just say whatever feels right for you.”

| Φ |

the boy’s name was satoru gojo, and he was the owner’s nephew.

“he’s just transferred from a university in tokyo,” they’d said, with a proud, hushed reverence in their voice when they whispered the last word.

she could only nod along silently, pretending to be impressed, while all she was really thinking was why on earth he would transfer from a probably prestigious university to come here of all places.

it didn’t really matter; satoru was here now.

and he was her new colleague.

the extra interactions she had to handle on a daily basis were absolutely bone wearying. teaching him how to use the coffee machine, where all the ingredients and cleaning supplies were kept, and how to lock up the cafe for the night. it was all just too much; she hadn’t signed up for any of this. the next two years were supposed to be as easy as they possibly could be.

but more than anything, it was satoru and his irritatingly perky attitude that got on her nerves the most.

it wasn’t fair to him at all, and she knew it, but she couldn’t help the nagging, grating annoyance he made her feel. his chirpy voice was like nails on a chalkboard, scraping away at her already thin patience. and then there was him, with his stupidly good looks that made every customer that came in through the door do a double take.

more than that, it was the way satoru had the gall to pretend he didn’t enjoy it – when he obviously did.

no, that wasn’t the worst thing of all.

it was the way that satoru persistently attempted to get to know her. it confused her to no end, haphazardly cutting through the endless haze of brain fog, because she couldn’t understand for the life of her why someone like him would ever want to know someone like her.

“so,” he began one day, the autumn sunset filtering through the window. “you study physics too?”

too?

her manager must have been running their mouth, again.

she cleared her throat, putting down the damp cloth she’d been using to clean the cash register. “yeah, uh– you too, huh?”

satoru smiled that signature lopsided smile of his. “second year.”

when she only nodded silently, picking up her cloth again to silently signal she wasn’t interested in continuing conversation, he pressed on anyways. “yeah, i heard you’re doing your master’s now too. you must be really enjoying it.”

the last part was more of a question than a statement to her.

“sure,” she replied flatly, perhaps even snappily, and satoru’s smile faltered slightly.

a strange pang of guilt struck her that only got worse as the silence between them stretched on uncomfortably. she squirmed in her seat, aggressively rubbing her cloth between every nook and cranny of the register, while satoru busied himself cleaning the coffee machine, uncharacteristically quiet.

finally, she couldn’t stand the awkwardness anymore, and put down her cloth with a sigh as she swiveled in her seat to face him.

“so, are you enjoying it?” she asked quietly, her gaze dropping to the dried skin around her cuticles.

“sorry, what?”

“are you enjoying your course?”

“oh, yeah i am, actually,” he replied, a twinkle in his cerulean eyes as he laughed heartily. she suddenly felt quite warm. “i’m quite the genius.”

“oh, really?”

from then on, he wouldn’t – or, rather he couldn’t – shut up about it. it was like the floodgates had opened, and he went on about anything and everything that sprang to his mind. how he was planning on solving all the unknown theories of the universe, like he was planning on plucking the answers straight from the stars. the more she listened to him, watching the way his lips moved animatedly, the more she believed that if anybody could do it, it was him.

strangely enough, she found that she actually liked listening to satoru gojo talk.

but what struck her the most was how he was like her – and more. she knew that if he wanted to become one of the greats, he would.

if he wasn’t already, that is.

for the first time in what felt like years, she felt her lips curve into a genuine smile.

| Φ |

“it’s okay to cry. you’re really brave for coming here, and i know it’s not easy taking this first step.”

| Φ |

they started studying together at the cafe during the quiet afternoons that stretched into the evenings.

there was the air of familiarity to it all, the same aura of memories she had of doing the same thing not so long ago with a vastly different boy. it brought an unbearably searing heat of anxiety straight to her stomach. she tried her best to shove those feelings deep down into a pit of pebbles, zoning out often and long enough that satoru would frantically wave his palm in front of her eyes.

“you’re doing it again,” he said, his head tilted, a heavy hardback textbook split open in his lap.

she blinked once, shook her head a little, and lightly tapped her cheek twice. “sorry,” she mumbled, then took a few sips from her mug of bitter black coffee, which had long since gone cold.

green tea was something she hasn’t touched since, well, that day.

satoru looked at her for a moment too long, a strange look crossing his face that she couldn’t decipher, before he buried his nose back in the book on his lap.

the sun had set quite some time ago, and the beginning of winter was already making the days so much shorter. only the warm glow of pale orange lamps filled the cafe, bathing anyone inside in a warm, cozy glow. there were no customers at the moment, much to her relief, probably because it was still the beginning of the semester and the students weren’t in cramming mode just yet.

another hot bubble of anxiety churned in her stomach, and she fought to keep from wincing as her heart started to race.

“so, how are you finding that book?” she blurted out, trying to distract herself.

satoru hummed thoughtfully. “it’s good, thanks for letting me borrow it. you’ve got good taste.”

she snorted, though it was somewhat strained, forced. “hah! well, thank you, i suppose.”

he looked up at her again, and she felt herself shrink just a little. she could never get used to his eyes no matter how hard she tried. they were unlike anything she had ever seen before, and the longer she stared into them, the more it felt like they multiplied into six eyes. it felt like he could see right through her and rummage through the mess of broken heartstrings and glass inside her, and know everything that had ever happened to her – and everything that ever would.

was he an angel?

maybe he was the one who had been trying to solve her equation this whole time.

she almost laughed at that.

don’t be ridiculous.

“you’re too good at this, you know?” satoru suddenly stated, closing the book over with one of his fingers wedged between the pages he had been reading.

she frowned. “what do you mean? physics?”

“yeah. you’re like me, you have a gift for all this. even when you don’t really care about it, you’re still good at it.”

she picked the edge of her finger. “i-uh, wait, what do you mean i don’t care about it anymore? i obviously do. i’m doing a masters for fuck’s sake.”

she didn’t know why she felt the need to lie about it or why she suddenly felt so defensive.

he was hitting a nerve, and he knew it.

satoru gave her a look, a smug smirk on his lips. “no, you don’t.”

“i do!”

“no. you don’t.”

“yes actually, i do.”

“you’re lying.”

“no, i’m not! why would i lie?”

“i dunno, you tell me.”

damn you, satoru gojo.

she bit her lip to stop it from wobbling. satoru’s face crumbled like tumbling stones, and his book dropped to the floor with a loud bang.

“hey, hey,” he rushed, standing up and nearly knocking his chair over behind him. “hey, i’m sorry. i didn’t mean- fuck! i’m so sorry.”

the delicate skin of her lip throbbed from how hard she was biting it, and she was sure it would bruise by tomorrow morning. she swallowed thickly, avoiding satoru and those stupid, all-seeing eyes of his.

“it’s fine,” she muttered, hoping the tears gathering in the corner of her eye wouldn’t spill in front of him. “i-uh, let’s just get ready to close, okay?”

satoru frowned, rubbing the back of his neck like he wasn’t sure what exactly he wanted to do.

in the end, he said nothing at all.

they quietly packed up their things, locked the door, and the bell sang them a sad goodbye tune as they walked their separate ways into the night.

| Φ |

“so, your friend told you to come here?”

“i-uh, more like made me. sorry.”

| Φ |

being alone wasn’t so unbearable for her anymore.

but it still wasn’t good.

she’d moved out of the two-bedroom apartment she’d shared with her old roommate soon after starting her master's. there was no point in paying for an extra room, and she certainly didn’t feel like living in close quarters with another human being. so, she moved into a studio apartment in the building next door.

it was… decent.

perfectly adequate, really. there was no peeling walls or mold anywhere, and it didn’t drain too much of her energy to keep it all somewhat clean. in the beginning, the smaller space was oddly comforting. she felt secure, like a little mouse in a tin box.

safer.

snugly enclosed within the walls of a home that hadn’t been tainted by old memories.

although, she still didn’t have much energy to cook. there had been too many things she'd wasted money on, too many things that had gone out of date that she had the unpleasant task of cleaning up before moving out. the employees at the 7-eleven across from the cafe had grown embarrassingly familiar with her as she bought cup after cup of instant ramen for her dinner every night for weeks during those first weeks after moving in.

one night, an employee – an older lady with obviously nothing better to do –finally said to her, “you know, there are fresh bento boxes on sale at the end of the day. it’s healthier than… this.”

she’d just sniffed at the woman, pushing her cup forward with a defiant jut of her chin. the lady had sighed, shaking her head as she scanned the noodles. when she arrived home, she took her shoes off and threw her keys onto the kitchen counter. she flicked the kettle on and walked over to her bed to change out of her clothes.

and that was when she saw it.

her reflection in the mirror.

god, she didn’t realize just how awful she looked. her skin was horrible, her eyes tired and sullen, probably from living off a diet of instant noodles with little to no water. she didn’t know why, but the sight shocked her to the core.

she knew she wasn’t doing well.

but, she just didn’t think she looked that tired.

from that night on, she bought the bento boxes on sale every night. the employee never bothered her again after that, just gave her a smug smile that told her everything she needed to know. the changes in her were small, barely noticeable, but it felt like a step in the right direction.

she hated to admit that the lady had been right.

but still, it wasnt a complete fix.

so here she was, quietly chewing on a bite of peppered beef and rice, doing her best to stifle her sobs as music played from the radio in the background.

she hadn’t meant to get so emotional, but it had gotten too overwhelming for her to handle. satoru and all his damn questions – why did this random boy from who knows where in the world manage to get under her skin so much? she barely even knew him at all. the only two things that tied them together was that cafe and physics, and even that was fragile at best.

it was almost like at the start with…

no.

she couldn’t even say his name in her head.

it was all absolutely pathetic – she was pathetic.

“even if you don’t really care about it, you’re still good at it.”

is that what her life was going to be from now on? living a lie? pretending that she cared about whatever it was she was doing, while on the inside, she was still falling down that infinite green hole the boy with a perfect scar on his lip had pushed her into.

she sniffled, tossing the now empty box into the bin.

when would it all end?

she just wanted to stop feeling so hopeless all the time. she wanted to be happy again, to hear the numbers and angels singing to her like they used to, to feel and be how she once was.

but everything was still so quiet.

and probably would be for a long time.

that was why being here, in her tiny box of a house, still felt like no home at all.

| Φ |

“do you want to start from the beginning?”

“not really, but sure.”

| Φ |

the next day, when she arrived at the cafe, satoru was already there waiting for her.

and he was so obviously nervous that it set her teeth on edge.

from the moment she caught sight of him from outside the window, she could tell something was off. he was behind the counter, his hands a blur as he poured coffee and punched the buttons on the cash register to hand customers their change. satoru must have been keeping an eye out for her, because the moment he spotted her through the glass, he froze.

a snowy deer caught in the headlights.

then, he gave her what was probably the most awkward, jerky wave she had ever recieved.

right up until she walked behind the counter to stand beside him, he was a jittery mess, his foot tapping incessantly as he waited for the two girls hovering in front the cash register to finish deciding what they wanted to have.

“hey!” he greeted, far too cheerily. his voice was a little high-pitched, a crack in it like chipped porcelain.

she blinked twice, slowly, as she tied a beige apron around her waist. “hi.”

one of the girls at the counter cleared her throat, clearly unimpressed that nobody was paying attention to them. satoru snapped back into reality, mumbled a half-hearted apology, and she hurriedly got started on making their drinks. meanwhile, satoru fumbled with the coins as one of the girls dropped them into his open palm.

this was all so unlike him.

he was always so smooth and confident, annoyingly so.

it felt almost wrong to see him like this.

but they continued in a fragile, comfortable silence, serving customers and cleaning up tables after they left. when it was golden hour and the shop was somewhat empty, satoru finally let out a great big breath, like he had been holding it in the whole time.

“sheesh!” he exclaimed, stretching his legs, rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet. “that was so busy. how did you used to do this all by yourself?”

she gave him an amused look. “well, it wasn’t this busy a year ago. it’s gotten much more popular.”

satoru grinned, but it was tight, forced. “really? must be because of you and your great service.”

she didn’t know what to say, but she snorted, somewhat amused.

“hey, so uh… about last night,” he started, already stumbling over his words, but she quickly held up a hand to stop him.

“it’s all good, satoru,” she said firmly, trying her hardest to still be gentle. “i didn’t mean to get so emotional, so i’m sorry about that.”

he stared at her for a heartbeat longer, and she felt a strange flutter in her chest. she couldn’t stand the feeling, and got right back to adding more pink mooncakes to the clear display box at the counter. this time, it was her turn to keep an eye on him. satoru was breathing rapidly, his chest puffing and falling quickly, a peach-pink blush dusting the tips of his ears.

he looked positively miserable.

like he was absolutely bursting to say something but was holding back.

she bit her lip. “are you okay?”

satoru froze, his hand pausing from refilling the jar for the lids for the takeaway cups.

“yeah, i just-” he swallowed thickly, not quite looking at her. “i’m really sorry about yesterday.”

“is that all? i promise you, satoru, it’s all good.”

satoru fidgeted, his fingers rapidly tapping against a white lid. for a moment, neither of them moved, the low hum of a handful of customers conversing filling the air. a cup clinked loudly against a saucer, shattering the tension between them, and he inhaled sharply.

“i’m sorry if i push you too much,” satoru said softly, like he wasn’t sure whether he should even say it at all. “i don’t mean to.”

a stab of guilt pierced her heart.

it would be a lie to say that he hadn’t been pushing her out of her comfort zone. for the last few months, he had been nothing but persistently nice to her. anytime they crossed paths on campus, he always smiled and waved, pulling her into the orbit of his blue brightness, no matter how hard she tried to avoid it. at first, she was convinced that he would get bored of her quickly, that he would find more interesting company to keep than hers.

so, she tried to ignore it when she could.

but satoru never let up, not even a bit.

when she wouldn’t wave back, turning her back instead, there would be a tap on her left shoulder, and satoru would pop out from her right, spooking her with a laugh that made it seem like he knew exactly what she was up to.

and he didn’t care or seem to mind.

whenever she was clearly making no move to initiate a conversation, he always did it for her.

and he’d always ask her how she was.

how her day had been, or if she’d slept well the night before whenever they worked a morning shift together. during their quiet study sessions at the cafe, he’d always ask her how her course was going. at first, she thought satoru was just trying to fill the silence, that he was restless – too full of energy that he didn’t know what to do with. but now, she saw that she had been wrong the whole time.

she’d been blinded by his eccentricity and her own self-wallowing to notice it before.

that satoru gojo had a big heart.

and for some reason, he genuinely cared about her. it might not have been hard to notice that she wasn’t okay, but he had – and had tried to fix it. little by little, their study sessions and conversations were slowly pulling her back to the version of herself she thought she would never get back.

“you weren’t… pushing me,” she said slowly.

satoru gave her a pointed look. “yes i was. you know i was, especially last night.”

“okay,” she laughed a little, and a small smile appeared on his face. “maybe just a little.”

they both spared a glance at each other and broke into a nervous fit of laughter. for a moment, it all seemed normal, but then their smiles fades, and the silence crept back in like a parasite, with the light in satoru’s eyes dying like a smothered candle.

“well, i promise not to bother you half as much anymore,” he huffed playfully, though his eyes shifted away from her face.

she chewed the inside of her cheek.

“i… don’t want that.”

satoru looked back up at her sharply.

“you don’t?”

“i just- i’m not… it’s hard for me to feel good about things anymore.”

but being around you has been the only good thing for me. you’re the only person who makes me feel even a little like how i used to.

she couldn’t bring herself to say that, though.

because, whether or not satoru had meant to push her so much didn’t matter anymore. she had now realized, with a particularly harsh slap of reality, how much she had needed it. her changes had been so small and gradual that she hadn’t even noticed them herself. she couldn’t even remember the day when she finally didn’t dread leaving the house anymore, only that it had just happened.

and the boy made from blue starlight had been a huge part of making that happen.

satoru was like an icicle suspended over the edge of a cliff. was it concern, or maybe even shock on his face? she clenched her fists, nails digging into her skin. she didn’t know what she would do if he decided she was just too much for him, too heavy a burden that he hadn’t signed up to carry. if satoru decided to let go and fall, she didn’t know what she would do. she’d be all alone again if he left, and she didn’t think she could survive it this time.

please, i’m sorry. i’ll be better, i promise. just hang in there and wait for me a little longer.

but then, slowly, satoru flashed her that feather-soft smile he had given her the first time she finally waved back at him. it was softer, different to the way he usually smiled, like the notion meant so much more to him than she realized.

and she felt like everything might finally start to be okay.

| Φ |

“do you regret letting the things that happened to you in the past hurt her too?”

“of course i do, that’s why i’m here. i’m fucking broken, and i need help.”

| Φ |

the streets were dusted with a light frosting of snow.

there wasn’t much of it at all, really. it was hardly deep enough to make a snowball from, but it was enough to blanket everything in a sea of powdery whiteness. a cold drop of water dripped from a streetlight straight onto her nose, and she shivered profusely from the shock of it, pulling her itchy woolen scarf tighter around her neck.

there were faint tracks in the snow leading up to the cafe, and she guessed they probably belonged to satoru.

they had both been tasked with decorating the cafe with a little festive cheer on this crisp sunday morning. satoru had groaned about it, complaining that he would do anything but that on his day off. he only begrudgingly agreed to it after being bribed with unlimited access to the seasonal sweet treats.

and only if she helped him too.

so, that was how she had also been dragged into it on her day off.

she pushed open the door, scraping her damp boots against the entrance mat as warmth seeped into her bones. satoru had actually remember to turn the heating on, and her heart swelled with gratitude.

however, her good feelings were quite short lived.

“satoru,” she hissed. “what the fuck?”

the place was in absolute disarray.

tangled lights were strung about randomly, baubles of various shapes and colors rolled haphazardly across the floor, and the branches of the fake christmas tree were decidedly not attached where they were supposed to be. satoru was lazing at the counter, completely engrossed in his textbook, not even sparing her a glance as he deadpanned.

“what? i took everything out of the boxes like you told me to.”

“ugh! not like this, and you know it! seriously, it looks like you just dumped everything out onto the floor and just left it.”

his humorous snort told her that was exactly what he did.

it was painfully obvious that satoru gojo absolutely did not like christmas.

as soon as december hit, satoru became quite restrained, even dejected. he wasn’t up for doing much at all, except sitting around and reading her old textbooks. whenever someone asked if he had any plans for the holidays, he would just say “no,” in a way that completely shut down the conversation. if he overheard customers discussing their festive plans for too long, he would zone out, like he was lost somewhere far away from here.

she strode toward him, making sure to stomp her feet a little. satoru never bothered to look up at her, so he didn’t see when she picked up a plastic candy cane and threw it at his head.

“ow! seriously?”

“help me. now.”

letting out an exaggerated groan, satoru slammed the book shut with a loud slap and slowly – very slowly – slid off his chair.

it took several hours of hard work, but they eventually managed to turn the cafe into a mini wonderland. dainty red bows and lights were tastefully placed around, gold and silver tinsel glinted playfully in the sunlight, and the tree in the center of the tables was adorned with emerald and blue baubles.

“what do you think, satoru?”

but he was hardly paying any attention.

“sure, looks fine.”

in fact, satoru looked like something was crawling painfully beneath his perfect skin. he seemed ready to bolt outside without saying another word to her.

“are you alright?” she asked carefully, setting down a pretty green bauble she had been holding.

he looked up at her blankly. “yeah, i just don’t like all…” he gestured around him. “this.”

“not a festive person?”

“not really.”

“oh, okay.”

“it’s not for everyone sometimes, you know?”

“well, yeah… sure.”

“and it’s so much fuss for just one day.”

“mhm.”

“i hope you don’t think i’m like… i don’t know, a grinch or something.”

“i don’t think you’re a grinch, satoru.”

she tried not to notice how he shivered when she said his name.

“good, because i’m not. i don’t actually want someone else being miserable too.”

“what do you mean too?”

at this, satoru fell silent, like he’d said too much, revealed something she wasn’t supposed to know. they were quiet for a while, mostly because she didn’t know what to say, and satoru seemed quite lost in a place she wasn’t sure she wanted to follow him into. then, he flashed her that signature smile of is, his teeth glinting, and for the first time, she felt like she was seeing it for what it really was all along.

a defense mechanism.

for everyone to stay away, to not get too near him. to be blinded by his beauty and not ask too many questions.

“well, looks like we’re all done here!” he exclaimed quickly, clapping his hands together with a flourish. “wanna go get something sweet?”

satoru didn’t wait for her to answer.

before she knew it, he’d shoved his dark beanie over his snowy hair, and was bounding out of the shop. she watched him briefly through the window, rubbing his hands together, his breath coming out in little wispy puffs. he caught her looking and motioned with his head for her to come on.

she sighed, switching off the heating and locking up behind her.

“you know,” she said, not missing the way he winced. “you can always talk to me, right?”

satoru seemed to think about this for a moment before shaking his head and replying with a far too-cheerful, “of course! now, let’s go.”

the boy was hiding something in his galaxy of cerulean stars.

but then again, so was she.

| Φ |

“what was it like being with her?”

“it was peaceful and she was so beautiful, and god, so smart. like, she could discover something that would change the world, you know?… fuck!”

| Φ |

it was christmas eve.

she was watching the snow falling outside, holding a mug of coffee between her palms. the radio station, with its faint static buzz muffling the words, was the sort that lonely people listened to in movies. the host was chatting away in between songs like they didn’t think anybody was listening, probably assuming that everyone was being festive with their families, and not tuning in to some random station.

i’m listening, though. i’m here.

“it’s a lovely, quiet night, isn’t it? some people hate the quiet, though. like there’s something wrong with it.”

she’d pretended that she absolutely had to work over the holidays to avoid going home, and she didn’t regret it one bit. this was all somewhat… nice, actually. her mind was mostly quiet, focused on the coffee and the radio and the snow falling delicately to the ground below.

she took a sip from her mug, a pleasant, tingling burn on her tongue. there was some truth in that sentiment, she mused.

“but i think that it’s only when things are quiet and still, that you can find out a lot about yourself!”

well, she wasn’t so sure if she had discovered anything new about herself other than pain.

ring! ring! ring!

she nearly spilled her coffee all over her lap.

it was satoru.

for some reason, he hadn’t gone back home either. she hadn’t pressed him on why he didn’t, probably because he wouldn’t have told her the truth anyway, or brush her off with a half-hearted joke instead of a real answer.

slowly, she reached for her phone. “hello?”

it was quiet.

too quiet.

and then, the barest sound of what might have been a sniffle.

“hi,” satoru greeted, his voice filled with broken glass.

and it was like all the light and happiness in the world had gone. her eyes became glossy. he sounded familiar, only because she knew that she had once sounded like that too. she could recognize the sound of a person who had lost everything, and was barely clinging onto this plane of existence.

“what are you doing?” he whispered.

she stifled a sob. “nothing really, you?”

“same.”

there was a gust of wind outside, sending the snow dancing in a large, swooping whirlpool.

“can i, uh-” he swallowed quite audibly. “can i see you?”

she didn’t miss a beat. “sure.”

“okay, right. i’ll see you in a bit.”

her screen went black as satoru ended the call, and she tapped her cheek three times just to make sure she wasn’t dreaming. when she realized that she definitely wasn’t, she scrambled up from her warm spot on the sofa, picking up all the random clothes off the floor and shoving them into drawers just for the time being. she was overthinking everything, every little mess, and what satoru would think when he saw her apartment.

should she give the counter a wipe?

was there maybe a smell about?

knock! knock! knock!

there was no time to think about all that.

how had he gotten here so quickly?

she breathed out shakily, wiping her forehead as she hesitantly opened the door.

and there he was with his head bowed low.

there were plenty of snowflakes clinging stubbornly onto his beanie and coat, and she guessed that he must have been outside for a while. when she looked closed at him, she realized with a start that he was wearing his pyjamas – washed-out, grey sweatpants paired with a shirt with a faded superman logo on it. it might have been funny, but when satoru looked up at her, his eyes were rimmed with bright red crescent moons.

she didn’t need to guess that he had been crying.

“hi,” he said softly, his voice cracking like an old mirror.

“hey, come in,” she replied, stepping aside to let him in.

satoru shivered as he stepped over the threshold of her apartment, pausing to puff hot breaths into his hands. she offered him a tea, asking if he wanted it heavy on the sugar, which he shyly accepted. she watched as he took off his boots at the door, expensive black leather dripping with icy sludge, and took a good, long look all around her apartment.

the radio crackled softly, and satoru only seemed to notice it existed then. “huh, you don’t like t.v or something?” he quipped sadly, hardly carrying any bite in his words at all.

“i can’t be bothered getting one,” she admitted with an awkward smile, stirring the teabag in his mug.

satoru hummed and moved to sit on the sofa, sinking into the cushion like he wanted to just melt into a puddle. he rested his neck against the back, long fingers clasping and flexing like he didn’t know what to do with them. she handed him his tea, and then settled on the other end of the sofa, tucking her legs beneath her, and making a conscious effort not to sit too close to him.

for a while, they both didn’t say anything.

the host on the radio was talking again between songs, their voice soft and airy like the snow falling just outside. the next song slowly faded into life, a familiar wistful version of ‘have yourself a merry little christmas’ filling the quiet room. satoru was just staring at the ceiling, the faintest tremor in his hands as he lifted his mug to sip his tea. she didn’t say a word about it, letting herself zone out as she stared at the loose threads in the carpet.

“sorry, i don’t usually do this,” he finally said. “barge in like this, i mean.”

she blinked, and gave him a small smile of reassurance. “it’s okay, i wasn’t doing anything anyways.”

“oh, okay. you didn’t feel like going back home?”

“i could ask you the same thing.”

satoru swallowed, his throat bobbing up and down. then, his shoulders slumped, and his head fell forward in a silent surrender.

she held in a breath.

the angel’s were reaching a key moment in solving their formula, she could feel it in her bones, in her soul. she could hear them and their quills, motions quick and decisive, the noise slowly building like pressure inside a closed vessel.

“his name was suguru.”

the name was a stone falling off the edge of a waterfall, crashing against stone and water and air, and here it finally was – in this tiny, unremarkable apartment that didn’t feel like it was nearly good enough to host such an incredible moment.

it all felt inevitable, really. that she was supposed to be here, in this moment, and that everything in her life had happened just to bring her here. how she fallen in love with a quiet boy with green eyes, and how he had left her. how she nearly faded out of existence, only to be pulled back by a call to work where it all began. how her and satoru met, and how their lives had become so beautifully intertwined.

it was like newton’s second law of motion.

every force that had ever acted on her, every event she had collided into, was all to propel her straight into this moment.

“he was my best friend since middle school, and when i tell you we did everything together, we did fucking everything together.”

satoru paused for a moment, pulling his phone out from his pocket and rapidly tapping and scrolling as he searched for something. when he seemingly found it, he carefully handed his phone to her.

it was a picture of the two of them.

she couldn’t help but smile. satoru was all scruff and awkward teenage smiles, much too tall for his own good. and suguru was… beautiful, really. he was everything his best friend wasn’t – composed and regal, with long, dark hair that looked like it had been dipped in black ink. his eyes were a warm, honeyed chocolate, and she didn’t need to have known him to tell that suguru was kind. the quiet, dependable sort. the kind of person you knew would never leave you behind.

“when we graduated, we even decided to study physics together at uni in tokyo. i mean, i genuinely didn’t have a life without him. but it was like, no matter what happened, as long as suguru was there, it would all be okay.”

tears slipped from his eyes, and he bowed his head low, almost dropping between his knees.

“he died a year ago today.”

oh.

oh, god.

“i thought it was a joke, you know? when i got the call from his parents. i mean, seriously? he’d just gone to visit our old school to help out with some stupid fucking basketball tournament the kids were doing. nothing bad was supposed to happen.”

satoru become incredibly quiet, trapped in a fog of lost memories.

“he’d asked me to go with him,” he admitted, his words dripping in shame. “but i didn’t want to.”

she could hear the unspoken words he wanted to say hovering in the air like a ghost, like the angels whittling away at their little equations.

i should have been there.

“the police said the crossroads were all slippery because of the ice, and that suguru fell over.”

i might have saved him.

“the driver wasn’t even looking properly, but he was going way too fucking fast anyways.”

he could still be alive.

“and yeah, i know it’s so pathetic. i can’t even stay in the same city that he died in. it was just too much for me to handle. that’s why i transferred here, actually, because it just wasn’t the same without him.”

it’s all my fault.

she didn’t know what else to say other than, “i get it.”

because she really did.

her and satoru gojo were one and the same, she knew that now. they might have once been two different variables in the same equation, but now the angels had proven them to be equal to each other, melding them into one and solving for the same outcome.

“you know, you’re the only person who hasn’t tried to lie to me about it,” he mumbled, partly to himself, his fingers tight around his mug. “it never gets easier, no matter how much time passes.”

“i agree. you just get better at carrying it while you try to live on.”

satoru finally spared a glance at her, his pale eyes searching her face, as if he was beginning to realize and understand the person who shared atoms with his soul. that everything had changed for them now, and there was no going back in time.

“there’s a page missing in your book, did you know that?” he said carefully, gently, like it might break her.

“huh- what? no. what are you on about?”

“the one you gave me. i had to look the page up online to find out what it’s about.”

“okay… and?”

“well, why would you rip out a page on relativity?”

oh.

she was flooded with memories she didn’t want to remember. if she looked over satoru’s shoulder, she could almost swear she saw a mirage of a certain dark-haired boy looking at her with a resigned expression, like even the ghost of his past didn’t want to be here. she couldn’t remember even doing it, but she must have torn that page out sometime during the summer. satoru clearly noticed the look on her face, must have seen that familiar, haunted look, and realized he’d unknown touched another nerve.

“you want to tell me about it?” he asked softly.

she looked up at him through lashes heavy with tears, while the ghost’s hazy green eyes pierced into her, silently begging for release, for her to not let him continue to haunt her.

“i will, i promise.”

she blinked, wiping her blurry eyes, and the vision was gone.

“but tell me more about suguru.”

| Φ |

“it sounds like you really did love her.”

“i did, i still do. she was it for me.”

| Φ |

on christmas morning, after satoru had spent the night on her sofa, she told him everything about toji fushiguro.

it was the first time she had said his name aloud after so long, like coaxing death back to where it belonged beyond the veil, and breathing life back into the boy with dark hair and everything that had happened to her. it had been much easier to have pretended that toji was actually dead this whole time.

well, he could have been.

after all, she had no way of knowing, but it was an unhealthy coping mechanism, and she knew it. she couldn’t dare do it anymore either, not when satoru was sitting there right across from her having actually lost his person forever.

so, she didn’t hide a thing.

she told him how it all started. how they fell in love, and all the things that happened in between. the green tea, teaching him about her numbers and stars and the summer of vanilla ice cream. for some reason, she felt sheepish at revealing the trauma that had happened to toji when he was a child, but she had to do it. it was the catalyst for why he had just up and left, and none of it would have made sense to satoru.

much like when she had listened to him the night before, he hadn’t said a word the entire time she spoke. but she knew satoru was listening. in fact, he was completely immersed in her story. like he could feel everything she could. he smiled at the happy parts, even laughed, his expression only turning twisted and sour at the end of it – like her anger and pain was his to bear too.

it made her feel much less alone in all of it.

“i hate him,” she said when she finished, her voice sharper than a knife’s edge, dripping with green, green venom.

but he was looking at her like he didn’t believe that for a second.

she didn’t even know she was shivering until satoru got up and draped a blanket over her shoulders, gently prying the mug that she had been gripping tightly. he looked down at her so kindly it made her chest tighten, an encouraging smile curling his baby-pink lips upwards like it was the only thing holding all her pieces together.

there was something… changed about him.

even with his fluffy hair, a messy pile of snow and stardust, there was something a little more airy and less burdened about him. his shoulders were more pulled back, not slouched like before, which she hadn’t even really noticed he had been doing until now.

“you got any food?” satoru asked suddenly, striding confidently over to her fridge and opening it.

she frowned. “for breakfast?”

“no, i mean for dinner. we have to have some kind of feast don’t we?”

“really? now you want to be festive?”

satoru lazily stretched his back, the skin of his waist peeking out. “festivity is subjective. besides, we just so happen to be celebrating on a day everyone else is.”

“uh huh, and what are we celebrating exactly?”

“well, us.”

he said it like it was totally obvious.

“tell you what, i’ll go out to the store and get us stuff for tonight,” he said firmly, already putting his coat and beanie on. “please tell me you have pots and pans we can use.”

she deadpanned. “yes.”

“hey, i’m only asking because i’m not the one who goes into a 7-eleven every night for dinner.”

she threw a pillow in his direction, but he was already out the door before it could land anywhere near him. sighing, she rubbed her still-tired eyes and glanced around the apartment. whatever satoru was planning for later, it wouldn’t do to have the place messy. she mopped the floors properly and gave the kitchen a good clean, scrubbing all the pots and pans that had been sitting unused in the cabinets since she moved in.

by the time satoru came back with several white plastic bags of groceries, the apartment was spotless and ready for whatever mess was about to unfold in the kitchen.

“you certainly don’t skimp out,” she remarked, eyeing the bags and their contents as he dumped them out onto the counter.

satoru only laughed, rolling up his sleeves and washing his hands. “i’m rich. so, no.”

“pft! well, thanks for all this.”

together, they started prepping for their feast, deciding to make oden with all the fresh vegetables that satoru had bought. soon enough, a wonderfully savory, wholesome scent filled the apartment. she assembled the table while satoru stirred the pot, putting together the sides, the radio merrily playing christmas tunes on and on. when they finally sat down to eat, when she took the first bite of her stew, she almost cried.

she hadn’t realized just how much she had missed this – taking care of her body, cooking something nutritious and homemade. maybe that was why her apartment didn’t feel like home.

how could it be? she had never even made a home-cooked meal in it.

she decided to remedy that from that moment on.

as the evening wore on, they ended up back on the sofa together. a blanket was draped over their legs, a dip between them filled with all the sweets satoru had brought over. the radio switched between more mellow tunes and cheerful ones, and that same host from last night was on again.

but she wasn’t listening in this time.

her and satoru were completely engrossed in one another, talking about what had drawn them to physics in the first place, and about all the stars and planets they wish they could see one day. she felt something warm kindling in her chest. maybe it was the atoms of herself coming back together, little by little. she wasn’t sure, but it felt like a flicker of something familiar.

it wasn’t happiness, not yet.

but as satoru tore a piece of red bean mochi in half, offering her one part with that stellar grin on his face, she thought it might just get there.

| Φ |

“i hope you had a happy new years- ah! yes, of course, it was your birthday as well! how was it?”

“yeah, alright, thanks. was just a quiet night in for me.”

| Φ |

the rest of the school year passed by in a hazy kaleidoscope of colours.

it certainly wasn’t rosy, but it was satoru and her, and all the colors that made him.

mostly, he was dripping in hues of red.

vibrant and lusciously full of life, satoru exuded a sort of confidence that made her want to grit her teeth. she was jealous of him when he was like this – a glorious star of red that burned bright and hot. she wished she could put up her own veil of red to the world, something gushing with so much vitality and mirth that nobody could ever guess she was green with sadness. but it was all a front, a distraction to hide what he was feeling deep down.

because above all, satoru was blue.

she knew it had everything to do with suguru. he would withdraw from the world, hiding away in his bedroom for days. she'd knock on his door, and satoru would answer with heavy bags under his eyes and a glossy sheen in them. he wouldn’t eat, wouldn’t sleep either – just lie there and stare up at he ceiling like he wanted to float up through the atmosphere and into space.

but the worst was when he was purple.

an infinity that blended his melancholy and beauty. satoru was borderline cruel, even a touch mad, when he was like this. he’d flash everyone a stellar smile, drawing them in while his fangs glinted, enticing them with the sweetest honey they didn’t realize was dangerous until they were trapped in its sticky depths.

she recognized him for what he was in those moments.

something pretty to look at but never, ever to touch.

still, she gradually came to understand all of satoru’s colors the way he understood hers. she learned how to dip a paintbrush in them all and create something different. there were soft, cooler tones for his burning red to sizzle out against, streaks of yellow through his blue to remind him of the light within him.

none of it was perfect.

it was jagged and messy at the best of times, but it was real. eventually, satoru learned to sit there and take the time to paint too, his hands shaking and unsteady, with an indomitable will to fight through it all.

and now, at the beginning of the summer, she knew satoru gojo was healing when he said to her, “come with me.”

she looked up questioningly. “what?”

“come with me,” he repeated casually, not lifting his eyes from his sheet of messily scrawled calculations. “come and spend the summer with me in tokyo.”

tokyo.

that seemingly faraway place where everybody wanted to end up. where a persons merit was deemed worth enough if they had made it there. the place where love ran away to die a death unseen, still but acutely felt, even through all the distance.

it felt forbidden to her.

that it was toji’s place to hide away, and she would ruin it all for him if she went there.

satoru glanced up when her silence stretched on for too long. his eyebrow quirked up unimpressed. “if it’s money you’re worried about, then don’t. you can stay with me at my place. my parents won’t mind.”

“it’s not that,” she mumbled, rubbing a pink sugar packet between her fingers.

he pursed his lips, shutting his book, and got up from his seat. motioning for her to take his place, satoru set about preparing something. she furrowed her brows, perplexed, but trying to focus on his calculations to avoid staring at him.

and then, a steaming mug of green tea appeared – a pool of pale green staring up at her like a ghost.

“drink it,” satoru ordered, but his voice was gentle, like a helping hand. “if i can go back, you can do this.”

she stared at him for a moment longer, her heart ticking faster like the sound of an alarm clock about to ring. she thought of the law of inertia, and how she had remained motionless, stuck in the same place for so long. maybe it was time to move on, to overcome her own resistance and start moving again. a year had passed, after all, and if he could just run away and live his life, then so could she.

and with that, she took a sip.

| Φ |

“i just want to say that i’m very proud of you and your progress over the last few months. you’re doing very well for yourself.”

“ah, hah! well, thankyou.”

| Φ |

satoru gojo was rich.

she already knew that he was. it wasn’t like he bragged about it often, but she could just tell. it was in the little things he did – or didn’t do. he always wore good quality shirts, the kind that weren’t so prone to wrinkles, and they always looked like they had been pressed by someone else who did it for a living. he never even thought to check his receipts for his grocery shop after swiping his card at the till, and she would click her tongue in amazement at not having to worry about such a thing.

but she didn’t realize just how filthy rich he was until she stepped foot into his apartment.

her jaw had actually dropped.

because of course he had a penthouse, and of course it was like something straight out an interior design magazine. with its floor-to-ceiling windows that hugged the whole space, and perfectly balanced blend of modern and traditional minimalism. there was the scent of tasteful freshness around her, something that was actually much like satoru – linen and eucalyptus, with a hint of peppery sweetness.

she couldn’t help but feel a little giddy.

“satoru,” she whispered with glittering awe on her tongue. “tell me something.”

he hummed questioningly, throwing his two duffle bags onto the floor and collapsing with a huff onto the sofa. “what?”

“why the fuck would you move to our shitty university when you live here?”

“oh, this? my family home is much bigger, actually. just wait til you see that.”

“you- you mean this… isn’t?”

satoru barked out a laugh. “no, this is just my own place.”

“pft!”

the sun had fallen below the skyscrapers, and she pressed her head against the cooled glass to watch the bustling world below her. the lights were twinkling madly, winking at her like they were trying to entice her out into the streets with all its colorful neon signs and billboards. her fingers twitched with anticipation, and she squealed in excitement.

“let’s go, lets go!” she exclaimed suddenly, feeling a burst of energy to explore in a way she thought she had lost as a child. “c’mon!”

satoru grinned at her, and pushed himself off the sofa.

and so began a new summer, one made of blue and white instead of green, green, green.

there were plenty of late nights spent wandering the streets, savoring all sorts of vendors and restaurants. the occasional bar hop in shinjuku, stumbling and bumbling like buzzing bees drunk on nectar, weaving their way back to a train station to get home and sleep the heat of the day away, only to do it all over again.

tonight was one of those particular nights.

they had their arms around each other, her leaning on satoru much more heavily than he was on her. it was too late – or rather, far too early – to catch a train back to the penthouse. satoru was loathe to call his driver, because of course he just had access to one on call at all times and didn’t bother to use them.

“this is sooo much more fun anyways!” he slurred, a glossy bottom lip protruded in a pout.

she blew a raspberry at him, her feet aching and legs feeling numb, but whether it was from the alcohol or pure exhaustion, she couldn’t tell. it was all fun, really, a memory she knew she would always look back on. something to make her smile and shake her head at the antics she used to get up to.

oh, how growing older was so eerily strange.

one moment, she was playing hide and seek, scraping her hands and knees on the pavement as she learned how to ride a bike.

the next she was crying in a heap on the bathroom floor as the love of her life blocked her number and left.

poof!

like he had never even existed in the first place.

“poof!” she mumbled, feeling her stomach lurch with bubbling anxiousness.

“heyyy! what’re you thinkin about?”

satoru’s voice startled her, and she hadn’t realized she’d stopped moving or that the weight of him was no longer slowing her down. he was peering at her expectantly, two moons of blue shining through the dark and bathing her in his aura.

but he already knew.

satoru always knew.

he sighed, reaching out a hand to her like salvation. she realized that he was, her saving grace, her cerulean light at the end of that infinite tunnel of vacuum and green ink.

she slid her palm in his, their fingers tangling together and fitting perfectly together in each other’s equation.

“can i take you somewhere?” satoru whispered, staring in drunk awe at their hands stuck together.

“mhm.”

the sky was just starting to change, as the sun gently pressed delicate kisses to it, making it blush in strokes of indigo and pale orange. she didn’t know where they were going, and she didn’t care. her brain was far too tired to comprehend anything. all she knew was that she and satoru were on one of the first trains of the day, the rhythmic hum of the train was soothing, and his arm was around her.

and it felt nice.

when they eventually got off the train, satoru never let go of their hands or his arm around her, steadying her as the walked and walked.

until they finally stopped.

they were in the middle of a street, standing against the flow of people brushing past them on their morning commute. the smell of a kfc just behind them tickled her nose, making her empty stomach grumble in protest.

“satoru, what are we doing here?” she asked, voice heavy with sleepiness.

but he didn’t answer.

in fact, satoru was much too quiet, his grip on her hand acutely missing as he stared straight ahead. she followed his gaze to the bold white and black stripes of a pedestrian crossing a few meters away on the busy road beside them.

her mouth suddenly felt dry.

“it’s a strange thing, isn’t it?” satoru mumbled. “we’re in this plane of existence between innocence and death, and we all just continue on.”

the longer she stared at the crossing, the more she could have sworn she saw deep red splatters flashing on the white, staining the deep black with an unnatural dullness.

she wanted to be sick.

“but that’s all we can do, isn’t it? just move on. try to forget everything when you really just can’t, because there’s nothing you can fucking do to change a thing.”

change – a chemical change.

like when paper burns, or iron turns to old rust, or flesh decays deep down in the earth. things that change and never return to what they once were, no matter how hard you tried. that was just it, really. she was something like a cigarette, set alight and burned for all she was worth, only to be stubbed out on the concrete beneath an unforgiving shoe as soon as the hit was over.

she would never be the same.

who could?

“i’ll never forget suguru,” satoru sighed, like he was resigning himself to his fate. “but that doesn’t mean i don’t want to be free of him.”

be free.

she couldn’t imagine being free of toji.

“satoru,” she said, her voice like a feather floating in the wind. “why did you bring me here?”

“because… to show you that if i can be here, in the one place on earth i never want to be, that starting to let go is possible. that if i can do it, then so can you.”

could she?

could she really be free?

she bit her lip, willed herself not to burst out crying in the middle of a very public street. the music was loud here – quite loud, in fact. and satoro was there in a pristine white shirt, holding a match to her, gently setting her on fire in a beautiful green flame, letting her atoms scatter and roam free wherever they wanted to go.

she nodded slowly.

maybe…

maybe it wasn’t so frightening after all.

| Φ |

“so, how did it go?”

“i just couldn’t fucking do it. i choked up as soon as i heard her voice.”

| Φ |

before she knew it, the summer was already coming to an end.

“maybe i could do my phd, then i’d be able to put ‘doctor’ on all my legal documents. wouldn’t that be cool?”

“seriously? you haven’t had enough of academia yet?”

she and satoru were lounging on his pristine sofa. it was so soft she felt like she was sitting on a cloud, sinking into its fluffy depths, drowning in powdered marshmallows and the crisp scent of fabric freshener. even though the holidays were nearly over, the days were still much too hot to venture outside into – a fierce heat that made her feel like a piece of fish sizzling on a frying pan. instead, they would pig out and binge television shows in the cool comfort of the air conditioning, some the peak of entertainment that would spark passionate discussions.

others not so much.

“ok, this is fuckin stupid,” satoru muttered, prickly annoyance lacing his words like cactus spines. “i’m changing this shit.”

she only hummed, absentmindedly scrolling through her social media feed. it had been far too long for her to try and remember the last time she had been on any kind of social app, but there wasn’t much else to do during the day, and the mood had just struck her to see what sorts of things people she barely knew were up to.

it was pretty much what she expected.

a seemingly endless stream of aesthetic travel and lifestyle photos, silly poses with overly wide smiles. the occasional engagement announcement, compilations of sappy wedding posts, and even the odd pregnancy reveal. how funny it was to watch everyone’s lives moving on through pixels on a screen.

until it decidedly wasn’t.

her thumb froze mid-swipe.

oh.

“oh my god.”

satoru tilted his head towards her, his eyes still fixed on the tv screen. “what?”

it was really him.

toji.

there was no mistake about it. he was standing there with his knuckles wrapped in white bandages, his chest bare and glistening with a thin sheen of sweat, a minuscule smile tugging at his lips as he posed beside shiu kong. the backdrop was clearly a gym – the mirrors behind them reflecting a sleek array of expensive looking equipment.

hard work pays off! for a limited time only, fushiguro is offering a special discount for new clients 💪 dm us to get booked in with the man himself!

she couldn’t breath.

she stared so hard at the photo that her vision blurred, her chest tightening like a snake had coiled itself around her, squeezing for all it was worth. like toji could see her through the screen and was laughing at her and how crippled she was by such a small thing. this had to be a joke. some sick, cosmic joke that the angel’s were snickering about as they dipped their quills back into their ink pots. her pulse thrummed in her ears, blocking out the world and the music and everything.

until it was just her and her phone and that damn photo.

she hated how the first thought she had was how much she missed him.

and how unfairly attractive he still looked.

upon clicking on shiu’s account, she scrolled through post after post documenting the journey of the gym’s grand opening. it was clear that bucketloads of blood and sweat that had gone into the place, with plenty of videos showing the two of them actively contributing to build it. she didn’t need to be an expert to tell that it was a great place to go, and her chest constricted again.

so, he actually did it.

he went and did what he said he was going to do.

and i’m still here.

“hey, what’s up? you get another weird silent call?”

she flinched.

satoru’s voice yanked her back into the present, a curious lilt in his question. his baby blues were fixed on her, the tv remote in his hand swinging lazily back and forth in his hand as he fiddled with it.

she bit her lip, shutting her screen off with a sharp click.

“oh, it’s nothing.”

why didn’t she want to admit it?

oh right, she was supposed to be moving on from all this.

“uh-huh,” satoru deadpanned, his eyes narrowed suspiciously. “what were you looking at?”

there really was no hiding anything from him, was there?

with an exasperated sigh, she unlocked her phone and flipped it over for him to see. satoru squinted at the screen, plucking her phone from her hands for a closer look. a white brow arched in what seemed like a mixture of disgust and recognition as he zoomed in, the sofa creaking softly beneath him as he leaned back into the cushions with a huff.

“well,” he quipped, a strange edge to his voice as he handed back her phone. “you know he’s alive.”

she didn’t say anything, her hands trembling as she set her phone down on the coffee table, farther away than it needed to be, as if it had stung her.

it had.

satoru sighed, and asked much more gently this time, “do you want to talk about it?”

“what’s there to talk about?” she replied far too quickly, the words tasting too much like bile.

the silence stretched on.

somewhere far below, a car honked aggressively, the sound faint and barely audible this high up from the hustle and bustle of tokyo. the beginnings of trailers and clips from shows began to play in the background, but neither of them seemed to be paying attention to it.

“if you ever saw him again, wha–”

“satoru. i don’t want to play that game.”

“it’s not a game if it’s a genuine question.”

“i–fuck! i don’t even know.”

“c’mon, you must have thought about it before.”

she groaned exasperatedly. “satoru.”

“what?”

“can we not talk about this?”

“no, we’re gonna talk about it. what if we bump into him while you’re here?”

“ugh, i just… wouldn’t say anything i guess.”

“seriously?”

“well, what more do you want?”

“you’d have absolutely nothing to say to the guy? you wouldn’t fucking scream at him, hit him? something?”

“no, and why should i? he’s the one that left me, and he doesn’t deserve even one word. he’s clearly moved on, and so am i.”

“right, because you totally looked over it just there.”

her jaw tightened, and she scowled at him.

“fuck off.”

it was quiet for a heartbeat until, “that’s what i would say for a start,” satoru snorted.

she rolled her eyes, rubbed them wearily, and let out a half-hearted laugh. “shut up.”

“that works too if he decides to speak, and then i’d swoop in and deck the guy.”

“are you sure you wanna do that?”

“excuse me, are you implying i couldn’t take him?”

“you definitely couldn’t.”

“uh, yes i could. quite easily, actually.”

he flexed his bicep, tilting his head and nodding approvingly at the taut muscle. she barked out a laugh, despite the churning feeling twisting her stomach with acid.

what would she actually say?

fuck you for leaving me.

what was the point of it all?

you could have at least said goodbye to me. i know i messed up, but i didn’t deserve what you did to me.

or maybe she would she just turn around and run away, just like he had? it was so easy to imagine that she would be brave enough to stand her ground and give him a piece of her mind. but she didn’t think she would. she would always be doomed to dig her roots deeper into the ground, hold her tongue, and silently defend herself against the battering storm.

“let’s not think about that anymore, yeah?” satoru attempted encouragingly, giving her foot a teasing nudge. “out of sight, out of mind, am i right?”

she smiled tightly. “right.”

right?

| Φ |

“you still mean to go through with your plan?”

“yeah. i don’t even know if she’ll be there, but i have to start somewhere, and… i don’t know. it feels like the right place.”

| Φ |

before she knew it, it was the start of winter.

that familiar crisp cold air was settling on her nose and tongue, jolting her tired bones into feeling just a little more alive. it wasn’t snowing, not yet, but it certainly wasn’t far behind. she tucked her hands into the crooks of her elbows, quietly chided herself for forgetting her gloves at home.

as per usual, she was on her way to the cafe.

she had been working a lot more than usual lately. satoru’s final year was significantly busier than his previous years, so he hadn’t been working as much, leaving her and her other colleague’s to bear the brunt of the busy end-of-year season. not that she minded, her brain had been quite preoccupied lately, and actual work was a better distraction than her studies.

she didn’t really understand what or why she was feeling so strange.

it was almost like something bigger than herself. the anticipation of the drop before leaping off a diving board, or the creeping dread that something was coming for you. that things were about to change too quickly for her to even try and keep up.

she hoped it was just all in her head.

the cafe was just around the corner now, its familiar sign flickering and wonderfully colourful against the grey clouds that hung darkly over the afternoon like an omen. she quickened her pace, boots crunching loudly against the pavement, already imagining the comforting blast of warmth that would envelope her as soon as she stepped inside. the windows were fogged over, but she could still make out the warm glow of the lamps and the outline of customers hunched over their drinks.

the doorbell chimed as she walked in, the strong scent of cinnamon swirling through up her nose like an old friend’s greeting. it was predictable and grounding, and the unease that had been chasing her for weeks was left outside to freeze in the cold.

until she walked outside again.

but that was a problem for after her shift.

“oh, thank god you're here!" her manager exclaimed, dashing past her as she shrugged off her coat, a tray of teacups balanced precariously with one hand. "can you handle the to-go's?”

from that moment on, for the next hour, she was thrown into a frazzled mess of oat milk and sickly sweet caramel syrup. her apron was stained within ten minutes, and she kept apologizing profusely for any sort of delay, even if they had only been waiting for a minute or two, or whenever she brushed against a customer's hand with her sticky syrup fingers to return their change.

it was chaos, to say the least.

she felt like a machine on autopilot, firing through order after order, hardly paying attention to anything but the job at hand.

the bell chimed – again.

she tapped the side of the cinnamon shaker against a styrofoam cup, a blinding ray of unexpected sunlight slanting through the windows. the world was suddenly skewed, an equation of pure molten gold weaving together this plane of existence for just one precious moment.

a cup clattered loudly.

huh, the sun must have come out.

a shadow fell across the counter, long and somewhat familiar.

“oh, sorry for the wait! what can–”

she looked up, the words dying painfully in her throat like shards of shattering glass.

and there he was.

the boy with dark hair standing there with his hands in his pockets, just like he used to.

it all felt so frighteningly familiar, like she'd been here before in another lifetime. she would have believed it too, because the moment stretched infinitely, impossibly, dragging on and on. it was him and his green eyes and that perfect golden scar on his lip that warped the world according to his own laws of gravity and time. she'd once traced that scar with her fingers, had once loved it, and brought forth a teardrop of blood from it.

her breath hitched.

the music was frighteningly loud now, as though the angels had been waiting for their beautiful muse to come back to them after all this time. it curled in the space between them, across the counter, beckoning their fingers to reach out and touch each other again.

toji.

she didn't say his name, couldn't. it looped in her mind like the numbers and greek letters she'd pondered over for years, never quite able to solve – maybe not even wanting to. if she did, he might just disappear altogether again. even if a part of her wanted him to, it was unbelievably sickening how her body and soul craved the sight of him.

her fingers twitched uncomfortably.

you can't be real.

no, you're not. none of this is real.

he was equal parts familiar and foreign. his mop of black hair just a touch longer than she remembered it to be, but still in that same messy style that was his. but what struck her the most were his clothes. they weren’t faded or worn, no random holes poking through anywhere. they were all clean and ironed, with a well- structured black coat over it all that looked like had just bought it from a shop and put it on.

he wasn't the same, no. that much was obvious.

but it's still you.

the cinnamon shaker slipped from her fingers, clattering onto the counter, its echo piercing through the void.

she gasped, “oh, s-sorry!”

and then he finally spoke. “s'alright.”

oh, toji.

his voice was rougher, deeper, yet even quieter than it used to be. it struck her chest like a hammer, reverberating throughout her hollowed bones and down the long hallway where the angels scribbled on their scrolls. he was staring at her like he was trying to solve her too, trying to decipher how she was really feeling on the inside.

she hated it.

hated how he was in a position that meant he knew her, even a little bit. hated that he knew everything, and would know that slight change in her face when she was about to smile or about to cry. hated how it took just about everything she had not to run away.

but most of all, she hated how she wanted nothing more than to just go to him.

to reach across the counter and pull him into her. to say how sorry she was and how much she had missed him, even beg him not to leave again.

i don’t want to love you anymore.

i wish, i wish, i wish i never did.

“i didn't think you would still be here,” he admitted, a tone of surprise in his words.

she felt a flash of annoyance.

how dare he acknowledge that she was still in the same place? it was embarrassing – shameful – that he had been able to go off and do what he said he was going to do, and she hadn't. that she was left behind in the dust of everyone else who had moved on.

“i'm doing my masters,” she replied flatly.

toji’s face fell a little at her tone, and he rubbed the back of his neck. “that's great! really. you were always smart. not that you aren't now, obviously.”

she only stared blankly at him. “would you like to order something?”

toji hesitated, his chapped lips parting, but then the doorbell chimed behind him, loud and jarring.

“hey! it's absolutely freezing outside, isn’t it?” satoru's unmistakable drawl lashed through the air like a whip, larger than life.

her head whipped towards him, an immediate wave of relief washing over her before it was replaced by cold, hard dread. toji turned slightly, glancing at the boy with starlight hair who had strolled in like he owned the place. satoru's easy grin landed on her, dazzling her in his red.

until he noticed who was standing in front of her.

his eyes turned to ice, narrowing into daggers like he was ready to slice toji up into pieces. then, deliberately slow, satoru strutted over, plonking himself behind the counter right beside her, casually leaning forward as if he had all the time in the world.

“you need something?” satoru asked dangerously, his words dipped in a deep purple.

toji looked between the two of them, and something in those green eyes of his made her feel uneasy, even a dash of unwarranted guilt. his fists were tight, fingernails digging his palm so hard it made her own hands hurt. without saying another word, he swiveled on his heels and walked back out the door, disappearing into the afternoon that had gone grey again.

“nice meeting you!” satoru called out after him, a heavy hand resting on her shoulder.

but toji was already long gone.

| Φ l

satoru didn’t want to leave her alone.

“he doesn’t know where i live,” she’d hissed as they walked back to her studio together, a brooding hulk of a guard dog beside her. “satoru! you’re acting like a lunatic.”

“shut up, will you?” he snapped, his eyes darting suspiciously at every person who passing by. “he knows where you work.”

“i think that was just a random chance,” she mumbled quietly, her breath coming out in small, hot puffs, not sure why she was even defending toji at all.

but satoru had just ignored her, ushering her through the door of her building like the boy in question was right behind them, shutting it with a particularly loud slam! she almost felt like she was in trouble for something, even though rationally she knew that absolutely none of this was her fault.

she had just never seen satoru so unbelievably angry.

after firmly making sure she had eaten something wholesome, and after much convincing on her part that she definitely wasn’t planning to leave her apartment for the night, satoru finally left her alone. not before giving her a long, hard look that made it clear that if she needed him, she was to call him immediately.

she might have been touched by it if she wasn’t so utterly consumed by thoughts of toji.

why had he come? why now?

why, why, why?

endless questions swirled around her brain, circling like a goldfish swimming around a perfectly clear crystal bowl. she lay there on her bed, the only light coming from a flickering streetlight outside. sleep was completely out of the question for tonight, so she counted the seconds between each rhythmic flicker of light, trying pathetically to distract herself from it all.

just when she might have been able to slip into the darkness of a dreamless sleep, her phone lit up beside her.

buzz! buzz!

she frowned, not recognizing the unfamiliar number.

“hello?”

“hey, uh- it’s me.”

her heart stopped, then stuttered back to life. she sat upright, gripping her phone tighter.

“sorry, you weren’t asleep were you?” toji continued, his tone slightly sheepish.

she blinked. “no.”

“oh, great!” he cleared his throat. “i didn’t think you’d pick up.”

“it’s late.”

there was a pause. “right, yeah. well, i just… i wanted to call you for a while now, but i don’t know. it just didn’t feel right to talk to you over the phone.”

she waited with bated breath.

“about what?”

she knew exactly what.

“i just wanted to say that i’m sorry.”

of course she knew – in the same way that the universe might have known the big bang was coming. that existence was on the brink of becoming itself after an explosion, stretching and rippling outward like a drop of water in an infinite ocean.

there was another pause, followed by a deep breath. “i don’t expect calling you to fix everything that i did, but i wanted to start by telling you that i’m so sorry for everything.”

did the universe know it was going to hurt this much?

“i'm so sorry,” he continued in a fragile whisper. “for the way i ran away and left you like that. and i'm sorry for being such a coward.”

maybe it had been okay with it. that’s just how something grows, isn’t it? a sudden explosion of growing pains to become something better, newer.

“you didn't deserve it.”

but the universe was born silently when it exploded into existence – a voiceless scream as creation erupted into being. she wondered how long it had been quiet for after it was all over.

“you still there?”

“yeah.”

she wondered if she would be silent too.

“well i-uh, i know that you've probably moved on from all this, but i just wanted to try and make things right.”

“mhm.”

he coughed, and cleared his throat. “you know, i went to therapy.”

“you did?”

“yeah. it was… kinda forced on me at the beginning, but i knew that i needed it to start fixing myself. i learned a lot about myself, and about why i did what i did. and i know that i definitely didn’t deserve you back then, but that i also didn't deserve to come back you if i was still the same.”

“and do you think you're... fixed now?”

“yeah, i’m just trying to be better.”

the light outside flickered again. one, two...

“you know... there's nothing you can say that'll make me forget what you did.”

three.

a sharp inhale, followed by a rough, “i know.”

“and you can’t just expect to walk back into my life like nothing happened.”

“i know.”

she turned over, burying her face in her pillow, the phone pressed against her ear.

“but that's not why i called you,” toji murmured. “i’m not trying to get you to forget what happened, because i can't either. but i’ve changed, and i just want to try and make things a little better, and to maybe be... friends, at least.”

“you want to be friends now?”

he paused for a long time.

“if you'd be okay with that, then yeah.”

“look, toji, i- i don't know.”

“i’d understand if you don't want to, believe me. and if you never want to hear or see me again then i’d get that too. and its selfish of me to even ask you this in the first place, but i have to try and keep you in my life because i still need you.”

holy good god.

“and i think about you all the time, every single day for the past two years, because you're it for me. you’re my person, and even if you don't want the same as me, then that's okay. i’d rather have you as a friend than nothing at all.”

what was she even supposed to say to that?

“and even as a friend, i promise not to leave like that again.”

“but what if i don’t want you as a friend? what if i don’t want you as anything to me anymore?”

“then i’ll leave.”

even the angels had stopped writing, their quills frozen mid-number as they peered over their desks, watching the two little humans they had tangled together in a messy scrawl of numbers and letters.

“say something,” toji said, a sad desperation in his voice. “please.”

“you hurt me, toji. do you know how much i hated you for that?”

“believe me, its not more than how much i hated myself for doing it.”

don't say it, don't say it, don't say it.

don’t you dare.

“okay,” she whispered.

“okay?”

her mind buzzed with thoughts and the consequences of allowing toji fushiguro back into her life. she thought of satoru, and how angry he would be, and how her brain screamed with all the words she wanted to hurl at toji about the true extent of how much he had hurt her.

but that didn’t matter, not yet.

not when he was here and promising to stay – to stay and be there for her, to listen to everything she had to say.

there was time for all of that.

and perhaps it was time to be born anew in a different universe.

“yeah, okay, but i can’t just be around you like that again. it doesn’t work that way, and i need time to get used to… you.”

toji’s voice sounded more hopeful, more positive, like the sun had broken through the clouds and was shining down on him again. “y-yeah, i get that! i’ll wait! however long it takes, i’ll wait.”

“okay,” she said quietly, almost as if reassuring herself.

“well it’s-uh late, i guess,” he said, a shaky cheerfulness in his voice that made the ghost of a smile play on her lips. “goodnight, and maybe call you tomorrow?”

“goodnight, toji.”

the line went quiet.

fuck.

but her mind certainly didn’t.

| Φ |

“it really brings me so much joy to have been able to help you, toji.”

“haha, thanks, but god, i just had so much more to say to her, ya know? but i think there’s still a chance, and i have you to thank for it.”

| Φ |

having toji fushiguro back in her life didn’t seem real.

it was slow and awkward, like dipping her toe into the cold sea again after having forgotten what it felt like. of course, he couldn’t stay in town for too long. tokyo and his work were calling him back, and she understood. so, they mainly kept in touch through texting, which was basically an all day affair. every spare moment they had, whether it was in between her making a cup of coffee, during study breaks, or toji in between training sessions. it would be a lie to say she wasn’t clinging tightly to every text, or that her heart didn’t leap every time her phone buzzed.

but it was also easy.

something she could nestle into, like a gentle wind beneath a bird’s wings.

sometime during the quiet nights of spring, they began calling each other to fill the silence.

“hey,” toji would greet, a bashful shyness in his voice, and she could tell that he was smiling.

she’d bite her lip to keep her own smile from forming. “hi.”

he’d ask her about her day, and all about what she was doing – every little mundane detail, as if toji was trying to collect all the parts of her that he’d missed. she told him about about her course, what she had been up to, and even about the summer she spent with satoru. he’d even ask her to remind him of some of the theories and laws she had told him about all those years ago, and she couldn’t tell if it was because he wanted to genuinely learn them again or if he just wanted to keep her on the phone longer.

she asked him about his life too. she learned that it was only a month after he arrived in tokyo that toji bumped into shiu kong in a random pachinko parlor. they had gotten talking, and before toji could count to three, shiu was already drawing up business plans for their doja on the back of a napkin. it was perfect, really. toji had the physical experience, and shiu had the connections – and, most importantly, the money.

“you know, i don’t think i’ll ever get used to just having money like this,” toji admitted, and she wanted to cry.

one day, after clearly skirting around the topic for some time, toji finally asked her, “so, uh, is satoru your…” he smacked his lips together. “boyfriend?”

“pft! no.”

his relief had been quite palpable.

“what about you?” she returned, chewing the inside of her cheek and tasting acrid metal. “have you been seeing anybody in tokyo?”

“no,” toji replied gently, like it was so silly she even asked in the first place. “not one.”

she knew her pathetic relief was most definitely palpable.

although, it wasn’t always so easy.

more often than not, just when they thought they had slipped into a sense of familiarity, the harsh reminders of the past came knocking. both of them would test the waters, perhaps asking a question that was too deep, too painful – usually about how they had coped in those early days of being apart.

it was just too hard for either of them to hear the answers. toji didn’t exactly enjoy hearing just how much she had hated him, or how utterly crippled she was for the first couple of months after he left. she could tell that it tore him up on the inside, and a part of her liked it. he deserved to feel every ounce of guilt he was capable of, and then some.

“you want to know what it felt like for me, do you?” she hissed, so much venom gushing from her bite that it even surprised her. “well, i’ll fucking tell you then.”

and she did, in great detail.

toji would snap back too, it was only human of him to.

“what, you think i had an easy time trying to fix myself?” he’d say, his voice quaking and breaking apart her resolve. “i didn’t. i was fucking miserable all the fucking time, and everytime i looked in the mirror i had my scar reminding me of my biggest fuck-up to date.”

those conversations usually ended up with her abruptly hanging up the phone and crying herself to sleep.

but she would always wake up to a message from toji, and they were always so incredibly gentle. he’d tell her how he just wanted them both to shed the weight of all their pain off their shoulders, and for her not to worry about how he felt heari all those things. that he could take it all – the pain, everything.

and that he still wasnt going anywhere.

it really struck her in those moments just how much he had changed.

still, there was something holding her back from falling back into him again.

and she wasn’t sure if it was because of satoru, who was less than impressed by it all.

“he called you, didn’t he?” he asked the day after toji called the first time, twirling a sugar packet between his fingers like he didn’t care what her answer was.

she gave him a look, saying nothing, and licked her dry lips.

he let out a long sigh, rubbing a hand over his face. “so…what? are you two back together now?”

“no,” she admitted quietly, feeling like a child about to be scolded. “but i’ve given him a chance.”

satoru’s eyes flashed a bright cerulean, like a star burning the brightest blue it ever could, before his gaze hardened.

finally, he grunted, “i get it.”

she almost spilled the latte she had been preparing.

he quirked a brow at her incredulous look and muttered, “i can’t sit here and pretend i wouldn’t do the same for suguru if i was able to.”

but before her smile could look too relieved, satoru added rather sharply, “but that doesn’t mean i like this.”

and that was that.

he never once asked how they were getting on or what they talked about. whenever her phone buzzed with a notification, he stared at it like he wanted to burn holes into it, but he said nothing – only a tight grimace appeared on his face, and that told her exactly how he felt about toji fushiguro.

and now, it was the end of her very last semester in the world of academics.

it was really dawning on her this time that her goodbyes would be final. that these last couple of months would be her last at the cafe and at the studio apartment she had eventually learned to love. on satoru’s insistence, she had decided to move on and get a proper job after graduating. he had told her he knew some contacts in tokyo who could hook them both up with decent jobs within the industry, and who was she to say no to that?

besides, it was nice to know that she wouldn’t be alone in this big, bad world.

she slipped through the door of the cafe, wiping the damp from her shoes on the entrance mat. there weren’t many students in studying at this time, the busier hours actually came later, at the start of the all-nighters. the students must have all heard that it was a quiet cafe at night, and now everyone came at the same time. the smell of sweet, buttery pastries made her tummy grumble, and she put a hand over her abdomen, as if that would quiet it down.

it did, because sitting right at the booth by the counter, was toji.

with satoru.

both their expressions were unreadable, but toji was hunched forward, nodding solemnly to whatever it was satoru was saying. her best friend had a towel draped over his taut shoulder, his starlight hair a mess, like he’d run his fingers through it one too many times.

she hesitated at the door.

what is going on?

satoru noticed her first, and his sentence trailed off like fading music. his gaze held hers firmly, fiercely. she felt that if she looked away, the world would crumble beneath her feet, and she would surely die. then, toji turned too, and the wind was knocked right out of her.

the cafe suddenly felt too small, not nearly big enough for all three of them and the weight of their pasts. satoru moved first, beckoning her over with his hand. her feet moved of their own accord, like she was a piece of metal drawn towards a magnet, helpless in trying to resist his pull.

“well,” satoru said lightly, placing the towel onto the counter. “i was just leaving.”

her throat tightened. “satoru.”

she didn’t know why the thought of being alone with toji felt more terrifying than being with both of them together, but it did. but the look that he gave her stopped her cold. it wasn’t harsh, not in the slightest, but it was mesmerizing – a thousand and one blue stars were exploding in his eyes. it made her heart hurt, her head swim with all the colors that made satoru gojo who he was. and then the stars softened into something warm and comforting, and she knew he was trying to tell her something without words.

he glanced at toji.

then back to her, giving her a barely perceptible nod.

it’s okay.

you can trust him.

she huffed a breath, the relief hitting her all at once. satoru turned back to toji, giving him a brief nod, and then he was out of the door.

a folded sheet of paper lay in front of toji, his large hand placed over it like he was afraid it might flutter away. she stood behind the counter now, a shy smile tugging at her lips as she tied her apron.

“i wanted to give this back to you,” toji said before she could say anything, a dusting of pretty pink on his cheeks as he slid the paper towards her. “i’m sorry for ripping your book.”

she unfolded the familiar paper, noting how the creases were soft and a little worn, and skimmed over the words.

oh my.

it was the page satoru had told her was missing from her book, the one about the theory of relativity, and right there in the corner was the equation for quantum entanglement written in blue ink.

“you once told me that when two particles belong together, they’ll always be connected no matter the distance between them. i’ve never forgotten it, not once this whole time.”

and then his hand was over hers, and the world and her heart was on fire.

“you still believe it?” she asked, her voice trembling, as she stared down at his thumb brushing her knuckles with a tenderness she had forgotten.

“yeah, because everything that i do, and everything that i am, is you.”

she didn’t know what toji fushiguro and satoru gojo had said to each other that day.

and perhaps she never would.

but as she poured toji a fresh batch of green tea into a big mug the way she used to, it didn’t really matter at all, did it?

| Φ |

“take care now, and i wish you all the best.”

“goodbye! and really, thankyou. for everything.”

| Φ |

today was a profoundly bittersweet occasion.

“satoru! i can’t believe this is actually happening.”

“well, you might want to start soon.”

it was her graduation day.

again.

there was some parts of it that felt unnervingly familiar, setting her teeth a slightly on edge at the reminders of the past. her kimono was laid neatly on her bed, exactly as it had been the first time. she was sat cross-legged in front of a mirror doing her makeup exactly the same way as she had on that fateful day.

but this time, it already felt better than it did the last time.

she wasn’t paralyzed with worry over the disappearance of a certain dark haired boy. she wasn’t sitting here working herself into a nervous fit over her future. no, she was here, in a new home with her best friend in the whole world. the one who had held her chin and tilted her head for her to look back up towards the stars. the one who had helped steady her shaking bones, his arms around her as he had called back the scattered atoms of her broken soul.

she looked at him fondly, far too fondly, and her angel of the stars looked back at her, alarmingly perplexed, his cheeks flushed in a bright strawberry red. “what?” he mumbled shyly.

he only got a giggle from her, her knees bouncing off the floor with a rush of excitement. she grinned as she she delicately swiped her mascara over her lashes, and satoru shook his head in confusion. he sat down carefully at the edge of her bed, smoothing out any little folds that had formed in her kimono. it was satoru’s graduation gift to her, actually – the kimono. they had picked out the fabric together, spending hours hiking through ridiculously expensive textiles that she insisted was too much, before settling on a luxuriously silky material with green and blue sakura flowers fluttering down the length of the fabric.

“you should have a piece of me on that stage,” he’d said, pointing to the blue petals, then to the green. “and i guess he deserves to be there too.”

it was then easy for her to decide that satoru gojo must be an angel.

she glanced at him again. “are you going to go and get ready, or what?”

“oh, psht! that wont take me long, don’t worry.”

he was currently in a plain black t-shirt and jeans, hair extra fluffy and untamable, and looked absolutely nowhere near ready to attend a graduation ceremony in less than an hour and a half.

“you better not, or i’ll actually kill you.”

satoru only rolled his eyes at that. “yeah yeah, sure. so you can give toji my ticket? no chance.”

while there had been a fragile peace between the two, and satoru didn’t grimace everytime she mentioned toji, he certainly still wasn’t as fond of the dark haired boy as she would have liked by this point.

“speaking of,” satoru continued with an air of nonchalance. “what is the guy doing today without a ticket?”

it had already been decided some time ago that satoru would be the one to have the spare ticket to her graduation. by the time toji had started getting closer to her, it had been too late to change it, and maybe it was also the faint lingering trauma from what had happened at the last one. she was hesitant to give it to him, and it would be a lie to say that toji wasnt disappointed.

though he had tried his best to hide it, she could see right through him.

“oh, he said he would try and sneak in the back to watch. if not, i’ll just meet him at the cafe later tonight.”

her best friend only hummed, watching with fascinated interested, his head tilted as she put her makeup on.

“sneaking in, huh? doesn’t really seem like his style.”

she shrugged her shoulders, blending an extra touch of concealer with her fingers. “he really wants to try and be there for me this time, you know?”

“as he should. i was sorta worried about you both for a while.”

“huh, you? worried about toji?”

“yeah, you’re right. it’s more of a very bland interest.”

she gave him a hard look.

“okay, okay! honestly though, i felt like the only thing stopping him from really getting to you was me. and that after we had that conversation, he would just dive straight back into what you guys had without a second thought.”

she glanced at satoru through the mirror. “well, neither of you want to tell me what you said to each other.”

“mind your business!”

“pft!”

“anyways, i guess it was more that i was worried about something happening and it tearing you apart again. i can’t watch that happen, not after you’ve just put yourself back together.”

satoru sighed, his knee bouncing rapidly. “and, well… i suppose i can only really ask you about how it's going.”

her hands suddenly felt stiff, and she set down her brush. “it’s not… easy, sometimes. we’ve talked about everything that happened, and its painful, but it also just feels good. there’s a part of me that feels more stitched together than i did before. we’re not perfect yet, but we’re both trying, and it’s nice.”

she added more softly. “we laugh more than we used to. a lot now, actually.”

the blue nebula in his eyes sparkled. “yeah?”

“haha, yeah.”

satoru hummed thoughtfully, “you really think its different this time?”

“yeah, i do, satoru.”

“you know, i’ve never told you this, but you say my name the way suguru used to.”

a shaky, lopsided smile played on her lips, her eyes glossing over. “he must have really loved you then.”

satoru’s pearly lashes fluttered, as if he was startled by the weight of her words, and another bashful blush spread across his cheeks, his lips forming a glossy pout.

“like i do,” she added, more teasingly this time. “in case that wasnt obvious enough already.”

“right, okay,” satoru huffed, rubbing the back of his neck as he turned his head away from her. “don’t get all mushy on me now, miss graduate.”

he got up and patted down his jeans, his fingers slipping into his left pocket to feel for his invitation. “i guess i’ll see you after it’s over.”

she squealed excitedly. “okay! see you later!”

| Φ |

the air outside the auditorium was positively electric.

huh, i must have missed out on this feeling the last time.

there were plenty of nervous, jittery smiles and hand shakes as the waiting room buzzed with static energy. she mingled briefly with some of her classmates, musing with them at how far they had come and all the challenges they had overcome. some of them even talked about what their plans were for the future, a few jaws dropping when she quietly admitted where she would be working in tokyo. soon enough, they were all being ushered in to take their seats on the stage.

the reality of the moment was really sinking in as she took her seat. as she smoothed out her kimono, her eyes scanned the seemingly endless rows, which were filling fast with family members and close friends.

she frowned.

satoru’s unmistakable starlight hair was nowhere to be seen.

he must be running late. hopefully he gets here before it starts.

the lights dimmed, and the doors at the back of the auditorium shut with a decisive thud.

i’m really going to kill him.

her heart panged with disappointment.

and then she saw him.

toji fushiguro.

the boy with dark hair who used to never have much to say, and was perfectly happy with not being liked by anybody – except her. the boy with forests in his eyes and a scar on his lip that he didn’t let anybody touch – except her.

the one who hadn’t been there the last time and almost seemed out of place now.

but he was here – for her.

because she was the unexpected variable, the singular exception that had been thrown into his routine equation just to shake the foundations of his existence. and maybe there would be other inexplicable formulas – there probably would – but that didn’t matter. she knew the angels had entangled them together, and there was nothing more to do or say about it. because no matter what had happened, or what would happen, they belonged to each other.

there was a constant pull for each other souls through the broken skin of a golden scar.

satoru must have given him his ticket.

toji was grinning at her, so proud and perfect, standing up and clapping for her like she was the only person in the room as she accepted her certificate.

the music of the angels played on in her mind, bright and clear, for one last time.

and her equation was finally solved.

| Φ |

©storiesoflilies 2024, all rights reserved. please do not plagiarize, translate, or repost any of my work on other sites! i only post on ao3 and tumblr.

[wolfstarlibrarian]

As the Wolfstar Librarian I'm kind of shocked I haven't made this a list yet! And I just finished reading this cute book during the holidays so enjoy a late holiday rec!

Bookstore Wolfstar Fics

Collateral by fingerprintbruises The fic where Sirius flees from the paparazzi, Remus runs a bookstore, and Lily has great timing.

You've Got Love by @cruisinwritealong Remus connects with an enigmatic stranger online, runs an amazing bookstore, and has his life flipped upside down when a Potter Brothers Books megastore opens up just a few blocks away. To makes things even worse the owner of the megastore is charming, funny, and hot as hell. Based on the movie You've Got Mail

Wholly Civilised (orphaned account)

When Remus Lupin is mugged in an alley, the last thing he expects is to invite the mugger to his flat and offer him food and a job. But that's exactly what he does. What he learns about Sirius Black after that, turns his entire world upside down.

The Quiet War by CF_Casper "Let's use love like a knife try to cut through the surface Love can break through the ice when you're fighting a different kind of war” (Sirius and Lily are in a gang. James and Remus run a book shop. Everyone falls in love.)

The Certainty of You by uponavenueroad Sirius is a Hollywood actor who has not been entirely forthcoming about his identity to an undeniably charming, befuddled antique book seller from Notting Hill. The truth comes to a head the morning after a steamy one-night stand. A movie-star AU that’s loosely inspired by the classic romcom 'Notting Hill'.

A Likely Story (orphaned account Sirius Black is a famous Youtuber who can't help but keep coming back to the cozy bookstore, "A Likely Story". He quickly finds himself falling for the cute bookworm, Remus Lupin. This story won't be too long and is for all the softies that just need some fluff.

A Novel Idea by @haywirecompass Sirius writes horror, with the occasional help of his two best friends, who are raising a child and therefore worry him sometimes with the ideas they come up with. He loves reading just as much as he loves writing, so the new bookshop down the road seems like to perfect place to go to load his bookshelves to breaking point. Then he meets the owner, who is somehow adorable and hot at the same time, and everything goes a bit pear-shaped.

The Cafe Upstairs by @cottonpadenthusiast Remus Lupin can sum himself up in two words; book nerd. He can also sum up Sirius Black in three; hottest guy ever. Moreover, he can sum up the likelihood of a relationship between them in one; impossible.

Fine Motor Skills by @femme--de--lettres Sirius Black's car needs work���again. Meanwhile, Remus Lupin is amused to see his favorite customer back at his mechanic's shop.

the inconveniences in our favour by @magicbeings This is a story about a graffiti-covered wall, a boy unhealthily obsessed with it, and a man who really only wanted his dream of owning a peaceful bookshop not to be ruined by a stubborn artist. Sometimes, the most frustrating inconveniences turn out to really work in your favour.

A Very Bad, Terrible, No Good Day by @solar3cl1ip5e On the worst day of his life, Remus wakes up with a cold, without power, and no tissues. He also rear-ends the most attractive man he's ever seen.

Cupid Disarmed by Anonymous Remus Lupin has Veela blood, Sirius Black reads trite romance novels, and neither of them are quite sure what the fuck to do with their hands when they get to talking with one another.

You Burn Brighter than the Stars by The_wolf_the_rat_the_dog_and_the_stag Remus meets Sirius at the university bookstore where he works and falls instantly in love.

BOOK REC:

Looking for a book similar to these fics? With characters that are so lovable? Check out this book that features a queer bookstore owner and a romance novelist!

Look Up, Handsome by Jack Strange

[jadeshifting]

— TRAVELING THE MULTIVERSE vs TRAVELING THE WORLD

( a long-winded title for why you should never be scared to post about your niche, less-well-known or original DRs )

˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　　 . ✦　　　 　˚　　　　 . ★⋆. ࿐࿔

let’s be real: everyone and their mom is obsessed with jetting off to new places in the world. you know—scrolling through Pinterest boards of Paris cafes, watching vlogs of someone’s Bali retreat, or dreaming about backpacking through South America. we love soaking in the mystery of somewhere we’ve never been. but here’s the kicker: the multiverse is the ultimate travel destination, and it’s just as exciting to hear about someone’s niche desired reality as it is to hear about their trip to Rome

so why do shifters with “niche” DRs keep holding back? you think people only wanna hear about Hogwarts or being famous? PLEASE—we want to know about the far-off corners of your imagination—the places we didn’t even know existed until you opened your mouth. sharing those “off-the-beaten-path” DRs is like dropping us a postcard from another universe, and we fucking live for that

PASSPORT TO POSSIBILITY

˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　　 . ✦　　　 　˚　　　　 . ★⋆. ࿐࿔

in this reality, getting a passport is your ticket to explore the world. but shifting? that’s your multiversal passport, babe. and guess what? it’s got unlimited stamps

think about it—just like every country on Earth has its own unique vibe, culture, and history, every DR in the multiverse is brimming with flavor. you’re out here specifying realities with details so rich you could practically smell the street food or feel the cobblestones underfoot. why would you hold yourself back from sharing that kind of magic?

picture this: someone casually tells you they’re shifting to a DR where everyone speaks in rhymes, the skies are lavender, and the economy runs on fruit trading. that’s wild. that’s fresh. that’s kind of a great idea, scripting it right now—that’s the kind of content i need more of. don’t undermine your own creativity. the multiverse is endless, and your DR might be someone’s next “bucket list destination”

EVERY DESTINATION HAS A STORY

˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　　 . ✦　　　 　˚　　　　 . ★⋆. ࿐࿔

let’s talk travel bloggers for a sec, for the sake of examples. the best ones? they don’t just tell you about the tourist traps; they give you the juice. they show you the hole-in-the-wall cafe with the best fettuccine, or the tiny town with the down-low annual festival. and that’s exactly the energy i get excited for when you’re talking about your DRs

take Hogwarts, for example. we all wanna know what it’s like to sit in the Great Hall or attend Potions class (trust, we do), but if your DR is, say, a small coastal town in the Wizarding World where you run a little bookshop and spend your weekends drinking enchanted tea by the sea—i’d flip a table to read about that. it’s the details that make a place come alive, whether it’s in this reality or the one next door

your DR doesn’t have to be flashy or “mainstream” to be fascinating. in fact, the more specific and personal it is, the more i’m gonna eat it up

CULTURE SHOCK, BUT MAKE IT COSMIC

˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　　 . ✦　　　 　˚　　　　 . ★⋆. ࿐࿔

when people travel, one of the most exciting parts is witnessing and experiencing new cultures. trying new foods, hearing new languages, learning customs that are totally different from your own—it’s all part of the adventure. shifting is a similar deal, but on a cosmic scale

(eyeing those of us with completely original fantasy DRs) maybe your DR has a society where time doesn’t exist, the sky is a different color, or you’re going to work alongside trolls and fairies. maybe in your DR, everyone has a telepathic connection to their past. or maybe you’re in a city built on floating islands where people commute via hot air balloon. give it to me, NOW

don’t underestimate how fascinating and cool your DR sounds just because it doesn’t fit the typical mold. people love hearing about the unfamiliar—whether it’s a country they’ve never visited or a reality they’ve never even imagined

THE TOURIST TRAP MENTALITY

˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　　 . ✦　　　 　˚　　　　 . ★⋆. ࿐࿔

you know how everyone and their dog wants to see the Eiffel Tower, even though some people say it’s overrated? it’s totally natural to seek out common experiences, to want to experience and enjoy the same things others are raving about. people, including myself, often gravitate towards the most common DRs (especially when you’re just starting out shifting, and you’ve been given a ticket to the multiverse that you’re trying to make digestible)—Hogwarts, MCU, fame DRs. they’re familiar, there’s tons to read about them, and they’re beyond easy to romanticize. don’t get me wrong, those DRs are classics for a reason, but they’re certainly not the only stops on the multiversal map

your DR might not have a castle or superheroes or any magic at all, but it’s got you—your story, your vision, your unique little slice of the multiverse. and if you’re wanting and willing to share it, there’s always someone out there who’s gonna vibe with it hard—probably countless people. trust me, people are dying to hear about the realities they never even knew existed

SHARE THE JOURNEY, NOT JUST THE DESTINATION

˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　　 . ✦　　　 　˚　　　　 . ★⋆. ࿐࿔

part of what makes travel so fascinating is the stories people tell about getting there—the long flights, the missed trains, the odd stories in airports which are basically liminal spaces. shifting is the same way. it’s not just about where you’re going; it’s about all the intricacies of getting there (read: scripting, basically programming your destination into the GPS)

did you script a whole language for your DR? did you spend hours designing the perfect house? did you practically write a novel of the love story between you and your partner? that’s the good stuff. that’s the behind-the-scenes content that makes your DR feel real and relatable, even to the people that aren’t shifting there—to us, it’s like tugging back the curtain on the most creative film of all the time and showing everyone how it was done. you multiversal mastermind

THE BOTTOM LINE: YOUR DR IS YOUR POSTCARD TO THE MULTIVERSE

˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　　 . ✦���　　 　˚　　　　 . ★⋆. ࿐࿔

every DR is a little piece of the multiverse that you can bring to light. it doesn’t matter if it’s niche, weird, or completely out of left field. the more unique it is, the more people are gonna wanna hear about it

so stop worrying about whether your DR is “cool enough” or “popular enough.” share it. rant about it. paint us a picture of the world you’ve built, the life you’re living, and the adventures you’re having. because just like with travel, the most unexpected destinations are often the most unforgettable

post about whatever DRs you want !! i wanna read all of them. xoxo :^)

[mandalhoerian]

ty SO much for that non mc explanation bc i felt so heard!!! People also lately have been kind of shading us bc we like the non mc vs mc angst train. Like I understand where they're also coming from. the whole angst and infidelity trope. But with how intense the story is with the Mc and the romantic bond, it's hard not to explore that with the angst genre with non mcs

what the hell im so sorry???? i really want to see what they're saying just so i could argue back not gonna lie. you cannot be serious about people liking and wanting to explore certain tropes it's 2024 PLEASE LETS STOP THIS BEHAVIOR 😭😭😭

For readers who don’t identify with the MC, the whole experience of playing a game like this can be rather complicated. Instead of feeling immersed in the story or imagining ourselves as the protagonist, we end up watching from the sidelines and become an observer to someone else’s love story. And when the narrative focuses so heavily on bonds that feel unshakable, like love transcending lifetimes, it’s hard not to feel like an outsider or an intruder. That’s not exactly a fun feeling, but it’s one that a lot of us can’t help but explore.

The idea of being “the other woman” isn’t just a trope. it’s a manifestation of that disconnect, of not seeing yourself in the MC’s place. When you don’t identify with her, it’s like the game is constantly reminding you that you’re not the one in this love story, even though you’re the one playing. This taps into some of the most raw and vulnerable emotions,, jealousy, inadequacy, the desperate desire to be seen. The MC has this deep, cosmic connection with the love interests, and when you feel like you’re standing on the outside of that, it’s natural to imagine yourself as the one fighting for their attention, even if it’s messy and painful.

Take the “second choice” trope, for example. There’s something deeply emotional imagining yourself as the person who’s loved, but not quite enough. You’re the one they turn to when the MC isn’t around, the one who’s good, but not destined. It’s heartbreaking, but it also feels so real. Who hasn’t, at some point, felt like they weren’t someone’s first choice? Exploring that trope in fanfiction isn’t wallowing in negativity--it’s taking those feelings and giving them a space to exist, to be validated, and to tell a story of their own.

Then there’s “rivalry with the MC.” This trope lets us channel the frustration of not identifying with her and turn it into a narrative. The MC becomes more than just a protagonist we don’t connect with, she becomes a character in our story, someone we can compare ourselves to, fight against, and even try to outshine. It’s not always about villainizing her (though that can happen in some fics), it’s about wrestling with the idea that someone else has everything we want, whether it’s the love interests, the role in the story, or the cosmic importance. It’s cathartic to play out those emotions, to explore what it would feel like to stand toe-to-toe with her and demand recognition.

And of course, there’s the ultimate gut-punch: “wanting to be chosen over her.” This one is such an emotional minefield because it’s not just about romantic longing--it’s about self-worth. It’s imagining yourself standing in the shadow of a destined, reincarnated love story and yearning to break through the inevitability of the narrative and prove that you’re just as valid, just as worthy, even if the universe itself seems to disagree.

These tropes aren’t just for the sake of drama, they’re deeply personal. They give voice to feelings of inferiority, longing, and frustration that so many of us feel when we can’t connect with the MC. Writing or reading stuff on being the “second choice” or the “rival” isn’t a desire to tear down the MC or dismissing her story. sometimes you just want to find a way to exist alongside it, to process what it feels like to be an outsider in a narrative that’s supposed to include us.

So for people shading us for exploring these tropes? Please. Let’s take a moment to recognize that not everyone experiences stories the same way. For some of us, the MC doesn’t feel like us at all, and these tropes let us carve out a space in the narrative where we can explore our emotions and tell our own stories. The intention here isn't glorifying jealousy or resentment, it's deeply internal grappling with what it feels like to not fit into the role the story has handed you.

These tropes give us permission to be messy, to feel things deeply, and to exist in a space that isn’t perfect or polished. Whether it’s imagining being the second choice, facing off against the MC, or yearning to be the one who’s finally chosen, it’s all about exploring the human need to be seen and valued, even when the odds are stacked against us. And honestly? That’s some of the most powerful storytelling there is. Let people have their angst—it’s valid, it’s cathartic, and it’s beautiful. ❤️

[briebysabs]

Wait I think I connected some dots I think I’m onto smth. What if Vein doesn’t exist in the current timeline? Why?

THE TWINS.

Vein is supposed to kill cxs sometime in s1. What happens this time? LTC possesses Qiao Ling and stabs LG. Which is when everything starts changing. If you think about it, the twins existence changes everything. It’s because ltx dies that ql gets her powers and sees a glimpse of what lg has been up to. And we assumed it was bc lu guang never got this far in the timeline. But what if the twins didn’t exist till now? What if this is the only timeline the twins are born in? It just fate that made their life suck. But see, ltx and cxs both get shot in the tunnel. Only ltx dies so what if she took on cxs’ death node?

What if the twins are the anomaly that is the reason cxs lives this time?

Vein imo is too much of a menace to be around right now. I simply can’t fathom him entering the present story. Vein and LTC also have red eyes tied to their abilities. So what if, in some crazy butterfly effect, Vein is written out of the timeline? And as time/the universe likes to correct itself it gave the twins powers in his place.

And what if LX knows this and he’s telling ltc that there is a timeline where you and your sister never went through all this suffering.

The correct timeline where you were never born.

[ghosthoard]

My LU Journey

When I was younger I got a DS for the first time and I was given a couple of games. The one that really hooked me was Pokémon Diamond, and the Zelda game I was given was Phantom Hourglass.

I tried Zelda, and I distinctly remember breaking pots and carrying around chickens as Toon Link. Then I set out past the village and into the wide world and that’s as far as I got because the monsters started to attack me and my heart sped up and I couldn’t take it. So I ran back to town. Hyped myself up, tried again, and ran back to town to stay there forever.

As a teenager, I gained an amazing friend who did not cower in fear and left the town in all Zelda games and became a super fan. We met through the anime Naruto but soon we shared our other interests. They were the one to tell me that all the Links and Zelda’s are not the same, in fact they’re all different people and not just the same characters in different art styles like I thought all my life. With that mind blowing revelation out of the way, they proceeded to tell me about how they enjoyed stories where the Links met. This didn’t mean as much to me personally at the time and I thought it never would (I was naive).

When we became adults, and my friend got an adult job, they set a trap. For my birthday, they sent me their old switch and a copy of breath of the wild. And of course I had to play it then. I was obligated to if I was sent a whole dang game console and a 60 dollar game.

So I started playing, I left the plateau and I never looked back.

I played that game obsessively. It was the first time in a while I’d actually played a game to the end or at all as I've watched let's players for years by now. I fell in love with the world and of course I fell in love with Wild.

So I sought him out in other forms. (Therein lies the trap, the elaborate scheme, it all comes back to Linked Universe).

And I know it might be upsetting to some of you, but I did not connect to the other Champions all that much throughout the game. The only characters I got attached to was Wild, our horses, and Beetle.

So I asked for fanfic recommendations from my friend, who is and always will be my Zelda Authority (my 'za if you will). They sent me a couple of fics, one that started with purely BOTW and the next fic went into more LU. I read it, haven’t finished it to this day but I liked it. But again, I wasn’t too attached to the other Champions, but boy was I craving some form of found family and always will. So even though I didn’t know anything about the other Links, I took a crack at LU.

But funnily enough, I didn’t start with the comic. I went straight to AO3 and whenever a new Link was mentioned I would go to Google and search their game, and based their appearance to their game canon. It was at this point I mixed up Hyrule with Warriors because Wars comes from Hyrule Warriors which literally had Hyrule’s name in it??? so based off of Wars’s canon appearance, in my head Hyrule was a big brother type who was taller and broader than most of the others, i was very wrong and very confused. It came to the point that I had to clarify which link was which. And I finally opened up the LU comic for the first time.

I read it so quickly and caught up so soon (in one sitting) that I remember being distraught that I did. But that was what fanfic is for baby.

(Just as an aside, I think I still had problems distinguishing the links while reading LU, I wasn’t sure which one was Sky and which one was Hyrule, and I mixed up Time and Twilight a lot. Four, Wind, and Legend were easy. And of course I knew which one was Wild).

Even then though, I didn’t know these boys well at all. We just all met at a social gathering and we did an icebreaker together, you don’t really get to know people through an ice breaker. So while I read fanfic, a lot of references flew over my head, I didn’t know the nuances of why this character did that, or what this event really meant to them. My friend helped me a lot again but most of my learning was from just reading more and more. This way I learned about what adventures each link had and how it shaped them.

I remember telling my friend that I loved how each of them had so many interesting secrets. What do you mean Four can split into four and also turn bite sized? What do you mean Hyrule has cursed blood, the entire triforce, and can turn into a fairy? What do you mean Legend has been on 6 adventures and can turn into a mermaid??? I loved all of it. It's been fun rereading fics after learning more about the boys since now i understand the nuances based on their histories.

Oh, that's why Four said that to Wild because of his history with Shadow! oh legend's like this because of marin and everything else he's been through! oh, there's so much more meaning in what this link says based on their past!

I loved the concept of successors and predecessors, mentors and bloodlines. The fucked up timeline. I love how each of them have spent time with the others in some way shape or form or been affected by their past iterations actions.

I consumed so much fanfic it became my second most bookmarked fandom on AO3 in almost less than a month.

Then again, it wasn’t enough. I went to other forms of fandom. Animatics and comic dubs mostly.

Estrine Studios was a game changer. What do you mean I can listen to the comic while I drew??? Changed my life.

Estrine Studios was there with me through my first interview into grad school and I will always be grateful for them.

Shin a’s work is also so charming. I always go back to their Minish and Master Sword dub.

I have a whole playlist of animatics. Lactose Bees has amazing ones (they’re the reason I got into Epic the Musical and also may have been the start of my obsession with wars), @raycatz ‘s pat my burns is a classic I love their style and the video always cracks me up and I went frame by frame once or twice, and @thetoyboxs ‘s animation memes are so addictive especially their Run Free with Hyrule. It was amazing to find Ray and Toy on tumblr, I can’t get enough of their work. (if anybody knows how to find lactose bees on here, hit me up)

I’m a huge fan of animatics. I’m obsessed with making them, but they take forever. Especially since I’m an adult now. You have no idea how many ideas I have for LU but i had just finished a big one for AoT at the time and i needed a break, but i still needed to express my big feelings for the fandom.

So I needed a different outlet for now and it was illustration. And this is the first fandom where I was this motivated to draw and have so much fun doing so. I think a big part of it was that my skills grew enough at this point that what I imagined was close to what I was making and boy is that addicting.

My art skills have really grown as a result of LU and I think I love it even more for that.

And the fandom itself was so welcoming and fun. I got on tumblr just in time for @kikker-oma ‘s FanJoyJuly and the collaboration and support and community was amazing to see. I did my own little post for @alicewritingstories who has also been amazing, and after the event ended I was reached out to by @luna-loveboop to create a thank you present for Oma. It was the first time I’ve been so involved in a fandom and I really appreciate all three of you for each part you played in it.

and in the last quarter of the year, i delved into writing my own lu fanfiction. and i've said it before and i'll say it again, i have 4 lu fanfic ideas and they will stay 4 ideas. this will finally be the fandom where i finish a fanfic to its entirety!

inspired by @alicewritingstories, @bleusarcelle, and @cluelessmoose my biggest and first fic: Please, Perennial will be a passion project of all of my favorite angsty tropes. it's been amazing seeing everyone's comments each time i post a part. i am going to commit to it and bring it to completion! and i hope you all will continue to follow along!

inspired by @anthemxix, is my second brainworm, currently titled: Hyrule gets pokeballed, a one-shot. i'm excited to share this one with everyone!!

these writers are so inspirational and i can't thank them enough for sharing their work for me to obsess over.

speaking of community, i also participated in my first write-a-thon in december. @lu-community-write-a-thon is crazy, so well organized and thought out. i'm not one for big groups of people i don't know well but it was fun to read the chats and i look forward to participating every month from now on if i can!

I also opened up requests twice this year! it's the first time I've done such a thing and it was really fun to see what people requested!

thank you to all my mutuals that i've managed to speak with! i hope you know i'm always available to chitchat about anything!

overall, I've made illustrations, started a fic, and participated in community events! i feel well rounded and i've experienced a good amount in this year alone. looking forward to even more new experiences next year. i for sure need to make an animatic!

This year has been defined by my Linked Universe addiction. I can't believe 2024 is almost over, it seems like i had the whole year ahead of me when i drew my first ever LU fanart. I'm still riding the LU high and i'm excited to see what's in store for next year.

And guess what! The friend that did everything possible to get me into LU, currently has their LU hyper fixation hibernating while I’ve been obsessing like a loon. They’re actually currently still in the batfamily fandom! where I put them! way before I got into LU! and then moved on to the Epic fandom! again! where i put them! We could’ve been obsessing together! god. (love you <3).

please check out all the artists and writers i've mentioned, it's so worth it!

looking forward to another year in this fandom! <3

[acatthatmakeseclairs]

Arcane Season 2 Necrit Interview Transcript + my ramblings

Hello! I thought I’d share the transcript for the Necrit & Christian Linke Interview on tumblr because it flopped on reddit lol (you can find the transcript at the very end of this post (ⓛ ω ⓛ*) )

Some notes to consider before going through the transcript and the rest of this post:

The transcript is of the YouTube video ver. of the interview, I’m crazy, but I’m not so crazy that I’m going to attempt to transcribe a 4 hour VOD.

The transcript is images for now, because I would not be able to fit a 2+ hour interview in a 40k character limit (the interview is like 60k+ characters, 50k+ without spaces)

I’ve added timestamps so you guys can easily reference a question or response from the video directly; I’ve also highlighted certain sections of the interview that I thought were interesting :)

For the discussion section, I’ll be referencing this post, because… let’s just say it was quite incorrect in some sections or there were points that I thought would be cool to talk about.

I’ve tried to be as objective and accurate as I could when getting into the details of this interview, hence why I’ve referenced other interviews and production materials, like concept art, but again, I am human, and I can get things incorrect or I can off as a bit biased– but alas o(*￣▽￣*)o

Anyways, onto the discussion!

Noxus, Ionia and Demacia are getting shows and are next steps into this cinematic universe; they pick each setting to explore [different] sides of [Runeterra].

They are not each getting shows… the team working on this new project, has only, casually, announced one new project.

They are one year into production for one show- the fact that Christian Linke mentioned Noxus, Ionia and Demacia, implies that this new series has a story that is centred around all three nations, not unlike how Arcane’s conflict centered around 3 different nation states: Piltover, Zaun and Noxus, with Noxus being positioned as an overall antagonistic force.

I’m not too familiar with the timeline of League of Legends, but I’ve heard here and there that Swain, a much-teased character in Arcane’s finale, had made his deal with Raum after the Invasion of Ionia, and seeing as he’s made his little cameo after Viktor’s failed ‘Glorious Evolution’, this could imply that we won’t see Ionia in any direct capacity.

Ok, this part is purely wishful thinking, but I think that our main setting for the next installment of this greater story is Demacia.

Noxus is positioned as an antagonist, it would be kind of underwhelming to go right into the motivations and deep mysteries of your central antagonist.

Linke stated that the team starts with ‘character stories’ (01:46:31) before anything else, as well as saying that they like ‘seeing Champions [meeting & interacting]’ (00:03:22) and my brain likes to make connections where there might not be any but what if Jinx was heading towards Demacia, and becomes friends with Lux? Again, total reach, but it’s a fan-favourite duo and it would be a good continuation of Jinx’s story (if they do continue her story that is).

They [considered] Blitzcrank for Season 2.

Christian Linke suggested Blitzcrank to be involved in the story in some way, but the rest of the team shot the idea down, with Linke describing it as ‘silly’ (00:05:31); it was probably a small joke or gag, considering how Linke described it.  

[Heimerdinger] is not dead and other characters might [come] back to life.

Christian Linke did not outright confirm or deny Heimerdinger’s death nor the existence of Bandle City in the Arcane universe, all he said was “I’m not done with Heimerdinger.” (00:07:22) You also have to consider that this guy is a Heimerdinger main, and he’s only one person amongst many who is charge of the direction of Arcane, and it’s related properties. Can’t say I’m not hopeful of Heimerdinger coming back, I love that little guy so much.

As for the other characters? Again, no direct confirmation on Jinx (00:31:45), especially in the last Netflix Afterglow Interview, but Viktor and Jayce … I’ll get into it further.  

Swain is teased to [be] looking into [the history of the Arcane] and [the origins of demons].

I can’t say I fully disagree with this point, but not because of Christian Linke’s comments in this interview (00:19:28). Throughout this second season, Ambessa continues to try to recreate Hex-tech, where, yes, she’s doing it for her own self-serving desires, but who told her to go to Piltover in the first place? In my opinion, it might have been Swain, seeing as his raven is seen poking around looking for the Hex-gem in Jayce’s, now destroyed, hammer.

I should also add that in relation to the overall timeline of Arcane, and it soon to be related properties, is that the current events within Arcane, so let’s say Arcane’s conclusion, the Invasion of Ionia has concluded, as if you can remember, the woman that Ambessa killed in Mel’s backstory is an Ionian princess, check out these bits of concept art from the Fortiche artists (Link 1) & (Link 2).

[Pianist] is teased to be Jhin.

Go to (00:23:10) in the video linked, he did not make a connection between this side character and Jhin, also are we just forgetting that Jhin is Ionian? And he would be much older than this side character??

Ziggs was not [inspiration] for Isha.

I thought I’d add to this point about the inspiration behind Isha: Isha is described as a child of Zaun, with Linke commenting that her hat is a miner hat, which is an allusion to Zaun’s early mining industry (00:24:47). We can see in Act 1, that although she is a child, Isha is very invested in the independence and freedom of Zaun, seeing as she poses as Jinx in what is possibly various rallies in the Undercity. I’d like to think she’s Zaun’s hope :) (let’s not think about what her death implies for Zaun…)

Renata will [replace the Chem-barons] in future.

Again, no confirmation. This discussion (00:27:19), was just that- a discussion of the future of Piltover and Zaun. Based on the production timelines, we may not actually see newer Champions like Renata, because they are released during production; I think we might get a mention of her in the next series, though.

Viktor will be explored on later shows confirmed- he is more than just human or Arcane user now; he is something special.

The status of Viktor and Jayce was confirmed to be dead (ಥ_ಥ) by Christian Linke in the recent Netflix Afterglow interview for Season 2 Act 3- HOWEVER, he described Viktor and Jayce to be “disintegrated” (1:33 – Netflix Interview) which is not what happened on screen. Instead, what is show to us in the show that Viktor and Jayce are sucked into the acceleration rune.

(“They’re alive- they’re stuck in time purgatory!” I say as they drag me into the asylum)

It should also be mentioned that the team, or at least Christian Linke, are interested in exploring what Viktor has become by the end of Arcane (01:20:05), and potentially the fates of Viktor and Jayce post-Arcane– again this does not imply that we will see either of them in the story in any direct capacity.

As for what Viktor is? Throughout this interview, he’s described as a symbiosis between the technological and organic– this does not mean he’s ‘cured’ of his disease and he’s not still disabled!

Throughout season 2 act 2, we see Viktor continue to use his staff to support himself, and Jinx also comments on his appearance, saying that he ‘looks like he’s got a couple [of conditions]’ (hahaha)- lets also not forget that in his Machine Herald form, his leg and back brace are fused into his body. (Interesting how something similar happened to Mel when she unlocked her empath powers, her golden accessories fused into her body- what’s up with that Fortiche?)

Personally, based on what Linke said “… what's different about Viktor is the Hexcore … [the runes] used [in] the Hexcore [are] a different thing, [they’re] much more powerful …” (00:31:01), and of course what we see in the show, I think that Viktor’s body is directly connected to the Hex-core, which creates transmutations within Viktor’s body, keeping him ‘alive’ but he also becomes a mage.

In the world of Arcane/LoL, you can become a mage by either being born as one, or praying to an Aspect or a God. However, Viktor (with the unintentional help of Jayce) became a mage due to the Hex-corisation of his body and soul- but his magic is different from other mages. A lot of the patterns that appear on Mel’s force-fields are very clean, neat, like the runes we see drawn on the various Hex-tech devices, but whenever post-Glorious Evolution Viktor casts a spell, we see this white-glowing webbed orb appear, similar to Ekko’s Z-drive. Not sure what this means, but I thought I’d share my ramblings :)

Other champions from Zaun and Piltover will be brought up to Arcane timeline.

This point was briefly mentioned (00:31:55 - 00:32:15), but even I wasn’t sure about how to interpret this. I think it might refer to the character re-works in League of Legends, but so far they’ve only reworked characters actually featured in Arcane; I’m guessing future reworks for more characters are being discussed amongst the creatives at RIOT, but we have to wait for the upcoming series to see what’ll happen.

Urgot is coming later.

… Again, no direct confirmation, Linke said “Not yet … he wasn't part of the story. I do think Urgot is really interesting …” (00:33:03). Urgot is a character based in the Zaun/Piltover story, so seeing him in the sequel series is unlikely.

Viktor and Jayce are confirmed to be bromance- like very good friends who die for each other any given time.

Look, I’m biased as fuck when it comes to these two, but Christian Linke did say “… I think it’s not romantic.” Again, like with many things in this interview, this is his opinion.

Whilst he may be the co-creator behind Arcane, his opinion was only relevant to his contributions regarding their narrative, just like how the voice actors (for both Arcane and LoL!), the many animators, and writers at RIOT had their own important contributions and interpretations on the relationship between Jayce and Viktor.

From the stuff we’ve seen this past month from the cast and crew, with Toks Olagundoye reposting Jayvik fanart, Harry Llyod reading Jayvik fanfics, and Kevin Alejandro signing not one, but 2 Jayvik fanarts, as well as of course the many Jayvik artworks from the team over at Fortiche; it seems that quite a lot of the team have quite a differing opinion from Christian Linke, almost as if he’s missing something lol.

I’ll finish up this section with a comment from Amanda Overton, because it the best response to how their relationship is interpreted and the description of their relationship:

"Fans are always justified in reading things the way they want to because that’s part of making art. When you do a thing for it based on you, it doesn’t actually have meaning until other people give it their own meaning. My backstory is very different from your backstory and my experiences are very different from yours so I can only speak from my experience. When I put a thing that I’ve written out in the world, then everyone brings their own different experiences to it."

"We were writing them as a loving, brotherly relationship that unambiguously [had] love between them. When it got to that final moment, it was so romantic and beautiful to me when I saw it for the first time—the way Fortiche put it together—I was like, “Oh, well maybe there is hope [for] these guys to have some future beyond what the show intended.” That was really cool for me to see. If people want to imagine that, I think they can, and that’s wonderful. Now that the show is over, if there’s the potential for that out there, then that’s potential that our fans can realize for themselves."

House of Medarda will play part in future of [Runeterra].

Yep! Christian Linke alludes to this in (01:11:37). Mel, or perhaps an older Mel, will appear alongside Noxian characters like Swain and Darius in the future series. It will be interesting to see the political dynamics between these characters as Mel is not only a Medarda and a Mage, but someone intimately connected with the Black Rose (◉_◉).

Glorious Evolution robots are inspired by biblical angels without wings.

Linke said this when it came to the design of Viktor’s Glorious Evolution robots (01:15:10):

“We actually talked … about how we want to have something that depicts, in quotation marks, ‘angels’; something angelic and pure, but then also [that] has … slightly lost some of the expression and … humanity, in a way that's a bit eerie. That's what Viktor's vision [was], but it will deteriorate [one day].”

The religious imagery regarding Viktor was unintentional, the intention behind Viktor was more centred around depicting him as a Messiah– “… We never wanted to have this direct link to any specific religion, it's just this idea of some Messiah or someone that people [wanted] to follow … [it] doesn't have to be religious but, of course, there is a certain connotation. The beauty of religious art … [it’s] just absolutely beautiful stuff and the supernatural depictions of it … [is] very inspiring.” (01:19:14)

There are selected few who [organize] and keep lore in check.

This is not true! Or at least this has not been outright confirmed in this interview; the question at (01:24:24) was not fully answered by Linke in this interview.

I also want to add a though of my own regarding this quote from Linke, “I would say it's 70% us and 30% Fortiche having ideas and then we talk about it, and I agree.” (00:15:12). This attitude that all these ideas came mostly from the writing team seems a bit ‘egotistical’ as Viktor would say- there was a significant gap in communication between the writing team and the team at Fortiche when it came to the world-building, lore, and plot that was shown on screen (you can see this is the attached screenshots of Amanda Overton’s tweets).

(Let’s also not forget that team at Fortiche indicated that the woman that Ambessa killed in Mel’s flashback is an Ionian princess, implying that the invasion of Ionia occurred prior to the events of Arcane; Fortiche animators were also the ones to propose the CaitVi sesbian lex scene; let’s not even get to Amanda Overton’s comments regarding how the Fortiche team implied the romantic relationship between Jayce and Viktor like, the Fortiche team is doing a lot of heavy lifting lol)

At the end of the day, the story we see as the audience is in filmic form, which is a primarily visual medium, so any bits of lore or story is based on what the storyboarding, voice over, animation, and post-production teams want us to see and take away from it.

(Edit: sorry! I completely forgot to actually put the images of the transcript!)

[morning-gist]

Why Does Unification (Short Film) Hit Us So Hard?

The emotional impact of Unification (the short film) stems not only from the reunion of Kirk and Spock but also from the real-world circumstances surrounding these characters and the actors who brought them to life. Here's why I think it hits so deeply:

1. The Reality of Time

Leonard Nimoy is gone, and William Shatner is in his 90s. This reality hangs over the reunion like a shadow, making it impossible to separate the story on screen from the lives of the actors (Nimoy and Shatner were estranged at the time of Nimoy's death). For fans who have grown up with Kirk and Spock, this reunion feels like one of the last moments to celebrate their shared legacy, a reminder that even legends aren’t immune to the passage of time.

2. K/S: A Bond That Transcends

The love and friendship between Kirk and Spock has always been the emotional core of Star Trek. Their reunion after 100? years is more than a plot point—it’s a metaphor for the enduring connection between two people who defined an era of storytelling. Seeing them together again feels like the universe itself is giving us one final gift.

3. A Farewell to TOS

For many, this feels like the end of The Original Series. With Nimoy gone and Shatner's advanced age, Unification represents closure for a chapter of Star Trek that shaped generations of fans. This moment isn’t just about the characters reuniting—it’s about fans saying goodbye to a piece of their own history.

4. A Reflection on Mortality

Watching this reunion is an emotional reminder of our own lives. The passage of time, the inevitability of loss, and the joy of reconnecting with those we’ve loved are universal experiences. The film invites us to reflect not just on Kirk and Spock’s journey but on our own relationships and what it means to hold onto those bonds, even as time changes everything.

5. The Legacy of Kirk and Spock

Kirk and Spock aren’t just characters—they’re symbols of everything Star Trek represents: adventure, loyalty, and the power of love and friendship. Their reunion after so many years is a reminder of the ideals they stood for and how those ideals have shaped not just the franchise, but the lives of countless fans.

Why Is Unification So Emotional?

It’s because this moment encapsulates both a fictional and real-world goodbye. This reunion feel like one last chance to honor the characters and the actors who portrayed them. It’s the end of an era, a farewell to a story and a friendship that has inspired millions.

For fans, Unification isn’t just a reunion—it’s a final bow. It’s emotional because it reminds us that even the brightest stars eventually fade, but the light they leave behind will always guide us.

What do you think?

[timbrewulfy]

first post, also just played In Stars and Time (SPOILERS)

can't believe I finally created my tumblr blog just to rant about my new obsession. please ignore any spelling/grammatical errors, i promise im smart. anyway, I just finished playing ISAT yesterday and it caused me emotional turmoil. it also made me spend a lot of time thinking about the connection between Loop and Siffrin. and I realized something. from Loop/Siffrin's POV, ISAT is basically a time travel fix-it story. lemme explain. on technicality, Loop is a FUTURE Siffrin. they experienced countless loops first and got to the king first. when they gave up, made a new wish, and ate the star, they became Loop, a celestial being formed by Wish Craft. and then they woke up under the favor tree to see their PAST SELF, BEFORE THE LOOPS EVEN HAPPENED. Loop time traveled to the past, but that also meant their timeline was erased. it's not that Loop's wish made a copy or clone of themselves, the Siffrin we know, that "replaces" them. it makes more sense that Loop, being a future Siffrin from their perspective, is helping their past self and in turn themselves because it'll affect their future, thus fulfilling their wish for someone to help them. they still become furious when their past self is actually able to win this time, likely because they still don't understand why the universe put them there in the past. they think it's just another cruel joke, that they're "supposed to shut up and take it." they didn't even know breaking the loops was actually possible. not to mention, Siffrin has a habit of becoming self-loathing when they're "useless" or incapable of something in comparison to others, and Loop is only a future version of Siffrin. so they see their past self achieve what they couldn't, they wonder why they didn't just hold on the first place, but then....Loop begins to fade. and wouldn't this be because.....if their past self never gave up this time, Loop would've never eaten the star? would've never even became Loop? this means Loop altered their own timeline. changed their fate by helping their past self. and they fade, because now they will get to be happy when their past self reaches the future. and they ONLY fade when it's certain that their task has been completed, that they have truly altered the course of Siffrin's life. sure, it may be paradoxical because then Loop wouldn't have gone back in time to help Siffrin, right? but the thing is, besides Loop being time traveled back to before Siffrin knew of loops, Siffrin is shown to remember anything over timelines from that point onward. so. if Loop, aka future Siffrin, was put in the past to help their past self gain a better future, so that Loop would've never had to eat the star (which wouldn't be finalized until the very end of act 5, into act 6, when Siffrin has enough hope to not give up, mind you), and Loop fades because their fate will now be whoever past Siffrin grows to be, then this ending will remain permanent and not be cancelled out by Loop "never existing", BECAUSE Siffrin still remembers any timeline anyway. they will always remember Loop. and perhaps Loop WILL be seeing Siffrin again, as they stated, but in their reflection in the future. perhaps they realize this as they fade, and that's why they're okay with it in the end. when they fight, it's like scott vs older scott in scott pilgrim takes off, basically. anyway i love siffrin he's the mentally ill protagonist ever.

[z-nightshade]

I see your Ace fighting with Bruce point, and I raise you, Whitebeard and Bruce meeting.

The idiot father's ♥️♥️♥️

The Whitebeards and Batfam kids can bond over the embarrassment of their dads sharing "baby" stories.

On that note, the Batfamily would hate Marshall D. Teach. Especially Jason and Damian, Jason for his closeness to the Strawhats and Ace, along with his own familial issues and feelings of betrayal, and Damian just on principle jating the guy since he values family so much.

The additional characters might be getting out of hand, but the absolute vitriolic hatred Doflamingo and the Joker would have for each other would be catastrophic.

Wait.

Vivi also being the only other rich person the Gotham populace tolerates other than the Waynes, in no small part due to her close connection to the Strawhats and the fact that while she doesn't live in Gotham, she still immensely helps financially and politically while she's there. (Our queen Vivi has a zero tolerance policy on corruption and is backed by the most powerful people in the city. They stood no chance.)

I see your Whitebeard and Bruce getting along and I raise you Whitebeard and Bruce trying to adopt each other's kids. Or Whitebeard trying to adopt Bruce. Or both

Everyone hates Teach, it's a universal things. They all want the bitch dead.

And Joker and Doffy can meet in hell after Jason decided to kill the bird man. After all, the Strawhats killed his Joker, he might as well kill theirs

Vivi get honorary Gothamite/Wayne status by virtue of being a rich Strawhat nepo baby who's actually helpful

Also love the implication that at this point there is a just a portal between worlds in Gotham. Perhaps the other end is at Laughtale

[jyeshindra]

Film, Neptune, and the Moon

Film is Moon-ruled. Why? Well what do they call movies again? The silver screen!

Even the process of recording film is Lunar. Light is recorded onto material that can hold and absorb that light. Much like the Moon absorbing the light of the Sun to know Herself.

Which reveals something even deeper about the nature of film, cinema, and the media we consume. In a way, screens act as a sort of mirror or portal, allowing us to access worlds and realms in which our subconscious motives can exist, live, and act out their own cycles.

The film projects and in doing so, creates the reflection. Archetypes are casted onto screens for us to adore, reject, and contemplate. Suddenly we have access to aspects of ourselves or the world that we've never had consciousness over.

In this way, we lose ourselves in screens and projections. We are disconnected from reality, caught in consumption. This is Rahu too, the bodiless dragon.

But where I see Neptune come in is the universal quality that film has to it. That multiple people can come see a movie and connect to it in their own way. There is something transversal about the projection, the image. About its inherent subjectivity (Moon) and emotional quality (Moon!).

And therein reveals another truth! The Moon is our root. It is our connection to everything. It is our Moon that makes us vulnerable and soft and squishy. Receptive and vulnerable. It is the Moon that casts the projections and creates the Story. It is the Moon that desperately craves meaning, so as to quell the restless nature of its ravaging chaos.

Mind the Story you make. And go see a movie while you're at it. Perhaps it'll give you the perspective you need, or the comfort, or the depth that reminds you that you are not alone. Everyone feels. Everyone hurts. Everyone wins. And everyone loses.

Ah, I myself am quite emotional writing this! Hug someone you love and hug yourself too. You deserve it. I'll try to do the same.

[brucenorris007]

Well. They remembered Sonic does in fact have a temper, at least.

And that's about all I can say for getting Sonic's character right

There's not much imaginative work done with the adaptation of SA2's story, but what did I expect when the first trailer's method for drawing people in was a disingenuous Shadow vs Knuckles moment because they couldn't think of any other way to convey how much of a threat Shadow's meant to be

They went rather tepid with the whole point of gov't being the true antagonist of the story, though that's a small surprise with Tom's job being what it is

Much like how 2 was a Knuckles movie more than a Sonic movie, this was more a Shadow movie than a Sonic movie. The dynamic between Shadow and Maria, and Gerald's madness were the strongest aspects, naturally

There's nothing. . . wrong with that, per se, I guess. It's targeted for kids more than ever, and kids need media, but any of them who establish a genuine connection to the fandom are in for a bit of a disconnect between who Sonic, Tails and Knuckles actually are and who this movie showed them to be.

Seems like a missed opportunity for fairly easy connection with a younger audience that the Unbreakable Bond between Sonic and Tails hasn't been better established in this universe. Part of that was Tom and Maddie subplots sucking up runtime in the last film, but even so.

Anyway, that's about all the energy I can muster for these movies right now

[luvvictoria]

# A GATE TO HELL ! GETO SUGURU X READER/ GOJO SATORU X READER, SERIES MATERIALIST

introduction | material list | series materialist

#WARNING : unstable mental health, discussions or metaphors related to depression, anxiety, or feelings of hopelessness. internal struggle, references to isolation or being consumed by dark thoughts , possible imagery or mentions of self-harm or self-destructive behaviors, metaphorical language that could evoke feelings of dread or loss of control, themes related to existential despair or questioning the purpose of life, mentions of emotional pain, betrayal, or the aftermath of a broken relationship, drug and alchool abuse, sex scenes, mature content , verbal abuse, manipulation.

#AUTHORS NOTE : Hey there 🫶🏽 This story is heavily inspired by the song "E O Poartă Către Iad" ( a gate to hell ) by Oscar. The haunting metaphors and raw emotions in the lyrics felt like the perfect backdrop for a Jujutsu Kaisen story. Just like the song, this fanfic dives into themes of inner turmoil, despair, and finding strength in the darkness :)) I hope you enjoy this blend of music and anime inspiration! Let me know your thoughts in the comments or feel free to share your interpretations.

— chapters

- The Price of Power

- Through Fire and Void ( coming soon )

- Whispers of the Abyss

- A Dance with Despair

- The Weight of Choices

- Shattered Salvation

- Blood-Stained Bonds

- A gate to hell

#THEMES EXPLORED BY THE STORY : Existential Pain, the story likely reflects the universal human struggle with meaninglessness and overwhelming emotions. Touching words on isolation, regret, or longing for relief. Relationships as Catalysts, the story involves references to love, friendship, the "gate to hell" symbolize heartbreak, betrayal, and toxic dynamics. Emotional connections often magnify feelings of despair when they fall apart, leaving one questioning their worth or direction. Societal Pressure and Alienation, the story may critique societal expectations, exploring how they push individuals into states of mental or emotional exhaustion. Struggle with Self-Identity, the story could be also addressing feelings of self-doubt, inadequacy, or disconnection from his true self. The "gate" might represent moments when one feels forced to confront uncomfortable truths about who they are.

#ALSO : Right now, my family is going through a difficult time — my dad’s company is shutting down in six months. If you’ve enjoyed my stories or want to help, your support on Ko-fi would mean the world to us. Every tip or commission helps cover essentials like bills and groceries during this uncertain time. Thank you for your kindness and for being part of my journey! 💕

[spaceraceart]

I was looking at your project: geocentric, and I find it really cool! I was wondering if you had more on black holes. A bit terrifying to know the largest and most powerful cosmic entities are all-consuming eyes of darkness. Or maybe I'm just thinking about TON-618/Phoenix A (whichever's biggest lol) because Sagittarius A still looks like a funky dude :)

ooo thank you!! i haven't messed around with black holes in my story too much besides what i have for sagittarius a*, but i can talk some more about them hehe.

as you noted, sagittarius (or sag) is a bit more of a funky/goofy dude, which is a reference to how the actual black hole is fairly dormant! he's not spitting out jets or actively eating anything, he's just kind of sitting there in the middle of the milky way and having a good time.

(more stuff under readmore)

most galaxies will have a central super massive black hole (smbh) , and have some close relationship with them. for some, the smbh might torment their galaxy, especially if theyre super active and constantly blasting out radiation. but for others, like milky way and sag, they may have a romantic relationship. i designed black holes and galaxies around the same time, so their designs are meant to compliment each other. galaxies lack a mouth, whereas black holes are pretty much all mouth. this creates an interesting relationship, with smbhs acting as the mouth of their galaxy, often serving as their voice.

i haven't designed too many stellar-mass black holes, but they'd probably look similar to sag, maybe with less colors and much smaller. below is a stellar black hole (cygnus x-1) that i designed based off of tom cardy's H.S. song heheh. stellar mass black holes come from the most massive of stars dying violently in a supernova. while they often still hold the memories and personality from when they were a star, they get dramatically changed from their new connection to The Void.

at star death, black holes get exposed to The Void, the shadow of The Universe that represents dark matter, dark energy, and all that empty space in space. The Void allows for black holes to gain some sort of higher cosmic understanding of reality. this makes most black holes mysterious, hard to understand beings. The Void also gifts them many cosmic powers, such as the power to manipulate spacetime!

(this mirrors how galaxies and the largest of stars often have a connection to The Universe)

most black holes are able to manipulate their own size, appearing larger or smaller. many black holes are also able to almost teleport through space, either literally teleporting through worm holes of their own making, or traveling over light speeds. they can bend gravity like a limb, pulling and pushing on others around them. overall, scary fellas! super massive black holes will typically have some secondary power unrelated to spacetime manipulation as well, such as sag who can manipulate dreams.

but yeah, thats basically my current ideas for how black holes work. i need to try personifying some of the more "scary" black holes, such as TON-618 and all that, so I can really delve into what makes these things terrifying hehehe. thank you for the ask!