#or whatever kids say these days 🙃

[urloveangel]

if you follow me thank you very much you’re the sweetest of sweethearts and you make my day every day 🌞

[girls-and-honey]

unbeatable challenge (apparently): stop dumping your whole family's personal traumas on your neice

[meowzfordayz]

hashira receive chocolate from you

Author’s Note: only a lil late for Valentine’s Day… 😅

hashira receive chocolate from you

Hashira x Reader

Word Count: ~1,100

CW: explicit language

Emergency Request Fulfilled: this sad b*tch could use an emergency request 😭 men have more audacity I swear

If possible could you do hashira men x female reacting to you bringing them chocolate on Valentine’s Day😭

~faqs~

Don’t mind the varying lengths of these headcanons 😆

I just wrote out scenarios as they popped into my brain

Aka not in order

Some are short and sweet; others are more fleshed out

Cries (happy tears)

—Duh 🤠

Good thing the chocolates are in a box, otherwise they’d be soaked 🙃

Also refuses to eat them w/o you present

Insists you take the first bite of every bonbon 🥺😋

VERY red 😡

—Apparently this is my go to hc for Obanai… he’s always red 😂

“Is this for me?” <— dangerously soft

Uhh- 😶 *cue awkward fiddling w/ the box of chocolates*

“Yes?”

“Are you sure?” <— somehow even softer

“... yes?!”

“Thank you.”

🤨🤨🤨

“You don’t want them,” you accuse, more embarrassed than anything

Obanai’s eyes widen

Barely

He’s still ~mostly glaring

😓 “It’s fine! They’re my favorite anyway! I’ll just-”

A firm (sweaty) palm on your shoulder stops you mid-stalking-away

“I’d like to have them,” he declares

“W-wha-whaaat?” 😳

“Thank you,” murmured again, gentle fingers prying the box from your grip, “How about we sit beneath that tree… andyousharethemwithme?”

Best believe not a single second of eye contact occurs

#shy boi

Also What did he just say? 😃

“NO WAAAY?!?!?!” 😍

“Mitsuri?”

You’re glad she’s so excited, but-? 😅

“I HAVE CHOCOLATE FOR YOU TOO !!!!!” 🍫💝

“NO WAAAY?!?!?!” 😍

—*sigh*

—What I’d give to swap chocolates w/ Mitsuri 🥺💞

“Sugar can lead to cavities.” 🧐

“Shinobu-”

“You want me to get cavities?”

“No, I-”

“What if I get-”

“Shinobu!”

“I’m kidding, darling!” 😃

��😒😒 <— you rn

Shinobu leans in, pecking your cheek as she accepts your gift, “With you around, the harm’s already done.” 😉

… “Was that you flirting with me?”

“Yes, savor it.”

“Babe, that was so ba-”

“GOOD, [y/n], my flirting was so good.”

“Thank gosh that wasn’t your original approach.”

“You’re saying my flirting wouldn’t woo you, darling?” 😎

“That’s exactly what I’m saying.” 💀

“Chocolate?!” 😁

You only wince a tad at Kyojuro’s booming excitement 😬

“For you.” ☺️

“For me !!!” 😁😁

If you take a step back to protect your poor ears, he doesn’t comment

“A token of my appreciation.”

“How thoughtful!” 😁😁😁 “You are most generous!” 😁😁😁😁

And then he notices your slow but sure retreat ☹️

“Are you okay?” voice immediately softening

your relieved sigh = barely stifled 🤫

“Oh,” he blinks, head tilting a fraction, “I was loud!”

“Ouch,” you nod in sheepish agreement

“I apologize! Please! Share your wonderful gift with me to make up for my carelessness!” 

…

…

“I was loud again.” 😅

Sanemi sits cross legged on his engawa, unimpressed by your offering

“I hate chocolate.” 😐

“You’re full of shit.” 🙄

“Just like your chocolate.”

“My chocolate? It’s yours, Shinazugawa Sanemi,” hand on your hip as you huff, chocolates shaking in their box as you hold them out roughly toward him, “I got it for you.”

Raising an eyebrow, he pushes your hand, “I don’t want it.”

“Fuck. You.” ☹️

Scoffing, his eyes roll, “You know I hate chocolate.”

You pout, plopping down beside him, “Hate is a strong word.”

“Eat it yourself.”

“I don’t want to.”

“See! You hate chocolate too, so don’t try pawning it off to me.” 😒

“Shinazufuckinggawa.”

Sanemi finally shifts to face you, mouth smug, knee bumping gentle against the crook of your hip, “Hm, my love?” 😌

Seething, you ignore his advance, “We are eating this chocolate together, and if it kills you, then so be it.”

“Ooh, so this is a we situation now?” he teases fondly, plucking the box from your lap

Crossing your arms, you look away, “You’re insufferable.”

“So insufferable that you bought me chocolate,” he smirks 😇

“Whatever, I’ll keep it,” you grumble, halfheartedly grabbing for the box

“No.” 😐

“No?”

“We’re eating it together, and it certainly won’t kill me.” 🥰

—Bc lover!Sanemi = emotional whiplash central 💀🤍

“What is this for?”

“For you,” you grin

“I figured that part out.” 🤓

Snorting, you tap Muichiro’s shoulder, flicking his chin when he glances down at your movement

“Hey,” he pouts slightly, cheeks tinged pink, “Seriously though: why?”

“Because I adore you.”

“Right.”

“Mhm.” ☺️

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” 😁

You poke his cheek, eyes rolling fondly, “We should eat them now.”

“We? But, they’re for me.”

“Muichiro,” you deadpan

“What?”

“Just trust me.” 😇

His cheeks warming further, he allows you to tug him under the shade of the nearest tree, sweetness soft in his stomach before he’s had a single taste

“You can put that over there,” Giyuu gestures to the nearest corner of the room, not bothering to greet you 

Disappointment curdles in your stomach, stare carefully neutral as you nod, “Okay.”

Your soft sigh as you move away from him does not go unnoticed

“Are you alright?” 😕

Swiveling sharply at the slight edge in his tone, you shake your head, frustration narrowing your eyes

“What’s on your mind?” he asks, gentle now as he approaches your agitated figure

“You’re so dense,” you manage to choke out, tears welling involuntarily

“I’m so…” Giyuu trails off, realization hitting him, “Oh shit.”

—Realization being the train that was just derailed #so punny #the punniest 🤡

“Yeah,” you exhale raggedly, tiny smile tugging at your mouth despite yourself, “Not even a Hello or a Thank you.”

“I’m sorry,” he mutters, lithe body curved protective and apologetic around you before you can even blink, “That was messed up of me.”

“I can leave and come in again, so you can practice,” you chuckle wetly, face buried in his haori, “You clueless man.”

Embrace tightening, he murmurs, “You’re too kind.”

Giggling faintly, you squeeze his hip, other hand still awkwardly clutching the box of chocolate, “I know.”

“Thank you for being patient with me.”

“We better eat them before everyone returns.” 😈

Clucking your tongue at Tengen, you pull another, another, another, and another box of chocolates from your knapsack

“Oh.” 😔

“Tengen-sama, do you look crestfallen?”

“Well, I, hm, I thought we would-”

“Unlike someone, I’m not so selfish to suggest indulging in a pleasure without our wives,” smile unwavering even as you scold him, “Which is why I bought enough for everyone to enjoy their own.” 🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫

“Okay, but! Size wise, I’m large.” 😃

“Which is why I bought you two.”

“You did?!” 😍

“No.” 😐

[worstghost]

can I request scott summers headcanons, i feel like he melts/ gets turned on by respect. Like dear god the amount of disrespect he gets on a daily basis is crazy, so to have someone who genuinely respects him

i love scott summers , this is a mix of the movie and x men 97 scott so bear with me, I got carried away lol. also I'm sorry this is a drabble and not headcanons 🙃 I got too into it.

scott summers/reader

You're new, having been pulled in last second for this specific mission. Everyone's a little apprehensive, keeping their distance while Scott briefs you.

"So you'll be waiting here, your ability to detect heat signatures at such a distance gives us an advantage. Just report to me if anything comes up?"

You're looking around the ship, interested, you'd never been invited to one of these but you were excited to help.

"Sounds good to me." You smile at him, taking your seat.

This gives Scott some pause, eyebrows drawing for the smallest moment. No argument, no telling him your two cents and making it a fight?

You can sense his hesitation and laugh, "You're the leader right? I'm fine here, I trust that you know what you're doing." By this point you've looked away, peeling at the leather cushion on the arm rest.

That's what does it for him, his heart leaps out of his chest trying to reach you and he has to turn away to hide the flush of his cheeks.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

The next time is when you're teaching a class. You're unlucky enough to have a troublesome batch of preteens, on the edge of learning how to question everything and everyone. You let them of course, it's part of growing up to have attitude, but you don't let it get too far.

Scott comes in to watch you teach one day, it's an interesting subject on the history of art influenced by war against mutants. He's enamored while you show the pieces, cringing every time one of the kids interrupts you by talking to a friend or snapping their gum or sighing so loud everyone turns around to look.

Finally, you pause, setting the pen you were pointing with down on your desk.

"Alright, I think we're done for now and we're going to do silent reading." Groans echo around the room. "No, listen to me. Mr. Summers came in here to listen to the lesson and see how good of students you are, and you have been so rude. Please apologize and pull out your books."

He's shocked, shrugging off the chorus of 'Ugh sorrys' and 'whatevers'. You take command so well, demand respect not only for yourself but for others. If he wasn't in love before, this solidified it.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

He loves to hear it in the bedroom too. Loves the way you trust and listen to him when he asks you to do something new. Very encouraging.

Loves to hear you say "Yes, sir." It just gets him every time, he melts.

Scott also loves when you take control. The feeling of someone taking care of him. He stresses so much about the team, it's a relief when you just lay him down on the bed and climb on top.

Praise praise praise. Wants to hear how good he makes you feel, when he moves his hips just right and pushes in even deeper. The more you talk, the harder he thrusts.

You'll hold on to his shoulders, grinding down, whimpering and throwing your head back like a pornstar and he just can't get enough.

"You feel so good, Scott, I love it-" interrupted by a gasp at the way he licks down your neck.

He'll smile against your chest, "Talk to me, baby. Keep going." It drives him crazy, loves to hear you breathless, trying to tell him how amazing his dick is but you can't stop moaning.

He would never tell you to be quiet- this is the one place he feels truly appreciated and he wants everyone to hear it.

[radioisntdead]

Hello, can we have a hc Overlord!Parental Figure reader for Velvette? I just think it would be silly to have us scolding Velvette at the Overlord Meeting. Also I wish to be tall, between Carmilla and Rosie's height-🙃

Good evening my dear! I do hope you enjoy these! Also I felt that wish to be tall.

Parental figure overlord! reader x Daughter figure! Velvette headcanons

She made sure you wouldn't be at the overlord meeting where she sung respectless because if you were there and she pulled that stunt with the angel's head and the music number with Carmine, she would've been smacked.

I'm thinking you were one of the first overlords she met after she died, she got lucky that you immediately viewed her as a child figure because otherwise she would NOT be where she was today.

She'd be dead or worse.

I imagine back in the early days you just showed up with her to Rosie's like "This is my disrespectful child! Velvette! Say hi to Miss Rosie!" "no."

You taught her practically everything you know about being an overlord.

You let her slide with her behavior most of the time, mostly with regular sinners or hellborn, but with overlords? You shut that shit DOWN, especially if you consider some of them, Like Carmilla Carmine or Zestial, friends of yours.

Like Velvette chill the fuck out those are your godparents.

Forbid that you WERE at the meeting with the musical number she's getting YOINKED off the table, you're tall, she's short it's not a tough fight.

At regular overlord meetings whenever she starts getting too feral, you just give her the mom look™ or the dad look™

Or whatever the middle version of that is, the grunkle stan look??™

And she chills out.

Or if that doesn't work a "Velvette." In a certain tone does the trick.

You see Vox and [Vomiting noises] Valentino as her little friends, you don't take them seriously despite having a couple of business deals with Vox.

Y'all have little Parent child days that involve going out to eat, spa, movies or something etc etc with matching outfits obviously.

You know how some kids have a separate social media account from their parents? Well she can't exactly do that so she just sets it up to where you can only see SOME of her posts.

Speaking of her social medias guess who gets mother's Day/father's day posts dedicated to them?

You!

You know that one thing that's like "THIS HOUSE IS A FUCKING NIGHTMARE" with the dude getting on the refrigerator that's Velvette with you sometimes.

You may or may not live in the vee tower no one knows you just kinda, appear.

Sometimes if your scolding Velvette and Vox or [more vomiting noises]Valentino walk in, they get roped into it.

Thankfully the only one that actually gets beaten is Valentino

Sometimes when you visit Carmilla you drag Velvette with you to have a playdate with Carmilla's daughters while you and Carmilla have like, tea or a business meetings.

Whenever she's sick, you come in CLUTCH bringing in soups, meds, tucking her in and making sure she rests.

For your birthdays she makes your present [which is usually some type of clothing] personally, like she's the one sewing.

It needs to be perfect for her parent, and the fools working under her would NOT make it perfectly.

She WOULD not tell you that she's the one that makes it herself.

You definitely bring her something whenever you visit her, like she's a spoiled brat for a reason, veruca salt but better, more ironic and less annoying.

Good evenin' folks! I hope y'all enjoyed! I rewatched Velvette clips while writing and lowkey forgot how iconic she is, anywho as always thank you for tunin' on in!

[crazylittlejester]

I'd absolutely love to hear what you have to say about Time 🙃 /gen

And, I hope you are feeling well. I think you said you were dizzy? I hope that gets better 🫶

I’m feeling much better, thank you!! I hope you’re going good as well :)

Sorry this took me a whole day to type out, but I finished!! I got it!!

I have a lot more thoughts, I had to cut a lot for the sake of making it readable and not obnoxiously long so I really hope I still get my points across well 😭 , but here we go:

An Abridged Version of My Thoughts on Time (I’m Insane I’m Sorry):

Okay so I’m starting off this whole thing by saying that 100% of this is my opinion and the research I did was done specifically to back my stance (which does not make it canonical fact. You can do research to back any point. You can do research to argue against my point, even). This doesn’t make my perspective or interpretation of a character the correct one by any means, and this definitely leans towards how I personally characterize and view him and is biased in that way because I’m the one who wrote it. All of you are entitled to your own opinions, you don’t have to agree with or listen to a single thing I say. In fact if you do disagree I encourage you to reblog and share your OWN thoughts so I can read YOUR perspective! I like seeing opinions people have and I love to see how differently all of us can view the same character /gen. I just that ask if you do do this, that you be kind and respectful to myself and others :)

This entire yap, analysis, whatever you wanna call it, is my perspective on Time and my thoughts behind why I believe he acts the way he does. At some point in all this I’m specifically going to focus on how he’s acting at the end of the Dawn arc and in the more recent updates. However in order to talk about that I wanna go to the beginning and talk about his past, the environment he grew up in, his relationships with others, and how I believe that has shaped the way he functions as an adult. My apologies now for being insane, unfortunately I have no life and also a lot of thoughts, and full access to a college library full of case studies- My professors would be so proud… Hope y’all enjoy lmao

Loneliness and Isolation:

One of the first things I noticed when I started playing OOT was this divide between Link and the Kokiri. Despite the fact that none of them know he’s actually a hylian, the bullying and teasing and the way they treat him for not having a fairy feels as though they’re making him to be different from them. Even Saria and the Great Deku Tree speak to/about him in ways that make it seem that, even though they care about him, they do see him as different from the others. (Granted, Saria’s treatment of Link is likely fully an unintentional thing. She doesn’t mean to be cruel when she makes her comment about how after Link got his fairy he could be a real Kokiri because she is a child and probably didn’t think about how that would come off to a kid who’s been arguably treated as less than for not having a fairy this entire time. She’s probably aware of how upset he’s been, but they’re children and I doubt she realized her attempt at comfort potentially made Time feel worse. The Great Deku Tree, on the other hand, referring to him as ‘the boy without a fairy’ immediately makes it clear to us as the player that Link is different from the Kokiri. He knows Link is hylian, which is something the player, Link, and the Kokiri do not know at this point)

Not having a fairy like the others certainly separates Time from the Kokiri because having a fairy companion appears to be a huge deal, something everyone has in common except for him. While it isn’t really on the same scale, I imagine this feeling of not having something your friends do could be, to an extent, comparable to how it would feel if all your peers had cell phones or social media access and you did not. (BAD EXAMPLE I KNOW BUT HEAR ME OUT.) The ability to consume media at such a fast pace and share jokes and trends with peers has become something to bond over, and being outside of that ‘world’ would leave someone to feel like they’re missing out on something they couldn’t possibly understand unless they get it for themselves. When your friends all have phones and you don’t, you have to sit there awkwardly when they all pull them out to text people or look things up, even if you’re doing something that doesn’t even require being on your phone, like going to the mall or hanging out. Sure they might show you a meme or two, but you can’t show them your memes, or share things and exist in the online world the way they do. Time could see and interact with the others’ fairies but he didn’t have that for himself, and I imagine it was probably hard for him to bond with the Kokiri because of it. Even if they were just playing a game or messing around and he wasn’t even being teased for not having a fairy of his own, those other fairies were right there as a constant reminder that Time didn’t have his own companion because he was, for a reason he couldn’t understand, different

Having played Skyward Sword and the beginning of Twilight Princess and seeing how both of those Links are treated by the people around them in comparison to how the Kokiri interact with Time, it feels safe to say there’s a good possibility he felt out of place and a little isolated by his own community. The way he was seemingly blamed for the death of the Great Deku Tree after finding out the life altering information that he is different probably did nothing but cause further divide between himself and the Kokiri in his mind, if not completely sever the connection he had between himself and that community

Do I think the Kokiri completely excluded him and intentionally tried to isolate him? No, I do not. However it’s clear that Saria was his best friend and the others weren’t always the nicest to him. It’s not too far a stretch to say he probably felt very lonely at times in his childhood, more so than the average kid

The theme of isolation and loneliness continues when the timeline shenanigans happen at the end of OOT and Time is now the only one who knows what happened to him. He has absolutely nothing to show for what he physically just went through and he can tell people about it all he wants but they’ll never understand because for them it simply never happened. Once again Time is isolated from this community he finds himself a part of because he’s different from them in a way they cannot relate to, driving a wedge between him and the rest of society. And Malon and Zelda are not people who would intentionally drive him further from feeling like he can belong, but they will forever be different from him in a way none of them now have the power to control. He formed relationships with them and with other people that were then erased. He knows a version of them that doesn’t exist anymore (in the timeline he continued to live in), and he’s alone in that. There IS no fix to that problem

Attachment Styles and Development

Relationships are crucial to child development and the connections formed when we’re young impact the way we create and view our relationships in adulthood. Peer relationships are just as important as parental ones because they play a different role. While your friends are the ones who have more of an impact on things like your music tastes, interests, and sense of identity/role within your group of peers, it’s your parents/caregivers who teach you right from wrong (often religion plays a part in that as well though not always), are responsible for feeding you and helping you learn new skills as a young child. Having a secure attachment and good relationship to caregivers when you’re young really impacts how you seek comfort as an adult and how you form relationships with others. Children whose parents or caregivers responded to their distress in unpredictable ways (by offering comfort sometimes and being unable to other at times, for an example) are less likely to seek out those figures for comfort or be soothed by them when the comfort is offered. I have no idea exactly how old Time was when he was placed with the Kokiri or what his mother was like, but I feel it’s fair to say the Great Deku Tree was probably the closest thing to a parental figure/caregiver (while he was living with the Kokiri) that he has any memory of. And I also feel it’s fair to say that as the stationary tree guardian of a bunch of immortal children, it was pretty impossible for him to support all of those kids’ emotional needs

Making this assumption based solely on Navi’s role in the story and what she does for us as players of the game: I feel like the fairy companions might almost be more of a parental/caregiver like figure to the Kokiri children than the Great Deku Tree is, simply because they’re able to be around them more. Navi helps Time (and the player) find things, gives clues, and helps the player with the game controls, so inside the actual game I think it’d be fair to say she (and other fairies) have more of a hands on role in guiding these children than the Great Deku Tree. And again, Time didn’t have that, not until his adventure started. He didn’t have a fairy companion while his friends and peers did, he was on his own. He wasn’t getting that potential comfort from a reliable caregiver the others were, which I believe can be partly responsible for how determined he is to solve his own issues. (Of course personality also has a play in things like this, and as we all know the hero’s spirit is incredibly fucking stubborn.) He was taught through the failures of the ‘adult’ figures in his life that the only one who’d be there to really comfort him was him

Identity and Relationships

Apart from feeling alone and not having the same types of companionship his peers did, I firmly believe Time seriously struggled with identity issues as well. Being told he wasn’t enough for the Master Sword yet, just to then be suddenly physically several years older and expected to operate as an adult despite having less than a decade of life experience, back to being shoved into the body of a child after living through horrors and accumulating scars that are now just gone doesn’t real make for the most confident, mentally stable of people. The message he most likely took from that was “You’re not enough as you are.”

He was a hero who saved a kingdom, then forgotten when everything was set back, and then abandoned by the one person (fairy) who went through it all with him after it was all done. If he’d felt alone or isolated in his youth before all that happened, I can’t imagine how overwhelming all those emotions were after all that. He needed Navi because she’s the only one who can really validate what he went through, she was the only one who could have understood him. She was a guardian and a friend and he couldn’t figure out why she left him, which must’ve just been absolutely devastating.

He was still just a kid, with no one to talk to about these issues. (Though he sort of works through some of them on his own through helping others in Majora’s Mask. Granted that left him with new issues even if it may have helped him work through a few old ones. I think there are quite a lot of similarities between Link and Skull Kid, but that’s a yap for another day.) I can imagine that both his identity and what he was supposed to do with himself were things he questioned constantly, and building relationships with people was probably very difficult for him when he hadn’t fully worked out himself. And he didn’t really have someone to comfort him or help him figure all that out

At a certain point, I think the feeling of being alone became almost a comfort to him. It was the most reliable thing he had, he could handle things on his own and that was something he knew for fact. He learned how to deal with his emotions and issues (maybe not in the healthiest of ways in his youth), and instead of being so suffocating, the isolation became something he could CONTROL. With all the instability throughout his childhood, the fact that he could reliably be on his own without dealing with the unpredictability of others was probably a relief. He didn’t have to worry about people leaving or getting hurt because he couldn’t protect them, but that didn’t really replace the feeling of loneliness so much as sloppily cover it up

Malon and the ranch are things that have been able to give him something he hadn’t had in years, which was stability and companionship. He’s been alone and isolated or dealing with loss his entire life, but she’s able to provide him with something steady, something safe to come back to. That’s been absolutely huge for him in regards to the healing process, because not only is it said in LU that she believes him completely, she’s literally his biggest supporter. And having a sturdy location and person to come back to at the end of whatever little trips he probably continued to go off to gave him comfort while still allowing him to keep that feeling of control over himself and his life. Sure not everything is perfect all the time and relationships are things that you have to put time, effort, and patience into, but he’s allowed to have his support and his much needed feeling of control over his life at the same time while living in that scenario. She loves him, she loves him very much and I have no doubt they worked together to get him to the place of comfort he’s at now. The panels from any of the ‘Malon’ posts are really the most relaxed we’ve seen Time for long stretches of time, it’s clear he’s been able to make a safe space for himself there

And now here’s the part where I actually talk about the recent comic update(s)!!!!!!!! (Yippee!!!)

Time is a very quiet, stoic character in LU especially when compared to the others, which are qualities that pull a lot from the hero’s shade. He’s the unofficial official leader, and he’s at a point in his life where he’s been able to work on himself and form healthy relationships (not perfect ones, but healthy ones built on communication which is clearly a struggle for him still but I cannot afford to get into that this post because that’s way too much. If y’all want a yap about that, ask me later). He puts a lot of stress and pressure onto himself, because he feels as though he’s responsible for these younger heroes, even though some of them have far more experience than he does

But in addition to this, he’s absolutely terrified of caring about people, and he’s not used to working with other people in this area of his life. Because no one sticks around, and if they do, what’s stopping the timeline from resetting somehow and taking their memory of him away? He no longer has the stability and comfort that comes with being alone because he’s forced to work with other people, other heroes who are equal to him in that regard, and people are unpredictable. And with unpredictability comes loss of control

Anger is an easier emotion for a child to process, and express themself through. This is why depression in children often manifests itself as anger. Children dealing with depression have a harder time managing and controlling their anger and can come off as snappier, inattentive, and reckless (obviously this is not the same case for every single child). While he certainly isn’t a child anymore in LU, I think Time is still someone who when overwhelmed is quick to anger, but this does not mean that he’s not kind. He’s incredibly kind and caring, and you can tell he loves everyone around him so deeply even though he’s probably a bit angry at himself for letting them all worm their way into his heart because he’s going to have to let them go some day. But still, some of that snappiness comes through even in his adult years and he’s a lot harsher with the others than I believe he intends to be. He’s not genuinely angry at them, he’s mad at the situation they’re in right now because he’s no longer responsible for just himself. He doesn’t have control anymore, and he’s probably back to feeling like a scared child who might be about to lose everyone again and he hates that

Twilight got hurt and he blames himself for it. He’s in an unfamiliar situation with people he cares a lot about who are all just as reckless and determined as he is, and he has absolutely no idea what to do with himself because in his mind if he lets something happen to one of these boys, that’s on him and he should’ve done better

Ough (A Continuation of ‘Isolation’)

In a way Time exists on a different level of the timeline. He retained memories of things that no longer exist, and he’s witnessed the rewritting of time over and over again. The timeline he was born in may no longer be the one he exists in, though it certainly branched from that original one. He has knowledge and memories of relationships that are real to only him in the timeline where he lives, and I would argue that because of this, he lives outside of society

Now this genuinely has nothing to do with anything I just wanna yap about something because The Voices, and it’s gonna be a fucking reach but if you’ve stayed this long you must find something appealing about my incoherent rambling so allow me to draw a genuinely insane comparison between Time and his existence in society and ‘The Lady of Shallot’, written in 1832 by a poet by the name of Alfred Tennyson. If you have no idea what this is, it’s incredibly short and easy to find with a quick google search, and I encourage you to read it. But for those of you who didn’t sign up for a poetry assignment today I’ll summarize

The Lady of Shallot is cursed to stay in a tower away from the rest of society and she’s unable to look upon Camelot with her own eyes, because something bad will happen if she does though she has no idea what. Day after day she creates these tapestries of what she sees of the society behind her through a mirror. She’s unable to look at it with her own eyes so what she creates is unable to perfectly reflect what it is the world has to offer. And she’s absolutely sick of it, she sees happy people wandering down below, knights riding through, she sees through her mirror what life is like for those within society and she wants to join them. She sees a beautiful man one day (Lancelot) and decides the curse is worth it, just for a chance to leave her tower, so she turns around and sees Camelot with her own eyes. She leaves her tower and goes to join society but by the time she gets there she’s dead

Now one of the meanings hidden within this is how artists are almost outside of society and that is how they are able to so accurately depict it, and that joining society and being ‘normal’ would make them unable to keep their unique perspective that isolation provides. But I’m going to be crazy here and draw parallels to a video game character because I CAN

Time exists outside of society and is isolated from every community he tries to be a part of because the differences between him and the Kokiri/normal hylian are so significant he feels like he doesn’t belong there. Despite having built his sense of identity back up, he still, to an extent, feels like an outsider. The things he’s been through separate him from being able to just be a normal guy, and he craves so badly to be part of a community he’s almost convinced himself he CANNOT join. The chain (and Malon, but mainly the other heroes) help him have something to connect to, because while they may not have the exact same experience they understand him more than anyone else ever could. He then tries to join society, something happens, and he dies a warrior full of regrets

Is it a reach? Yeah. But I like the poem and I can’t stop thinking about the parallels (that I’ve probably completely fucking made up at this point) every time I think too long about Time and it makes me claw at the dry wall and scream. I’m so normal…

Anyways, *weak cough* thanks for reading, if you did. It means a lot that you’ve supported my insanity. I hope this is coherent-

Thanks Emmie for reading through this for me 😭, and special shoutout to every single one of you who sent me asks yesterday to remind me to write this I love you all sm actually:

@trash-aged-like-fine-wine @rebornofstars @blueskybehindtheclouds @captainn-hook @ghosttoasts

[xenizaation]

permanent

pairing: fem! reader x choi san (ft kim hongjoong)

genre: angst, friends to lovers, smut

general warnings: depictions of a depressive state, mourning of partner, self-blame and slight ptsd

sexual warnings: dirty talk, pet names, manual stimulation, oral sex (f receiving), unprotected sex, creampie,

word count: 12.6k

summary: they say moving on is hard. you find that it's even harder when in the process of it, you have to accept your feelings for your friend as well.

less important a/n: ok so this was supposed to be like 5k long 🙃🙃...chile, anyways. uhm, this came from me bottling my emotions up for the last 5 months and I just wanted to let some of my suffering out in some kind of way. even if it is far from what I feel (I feel the need to specify that the events related below aren't inspired from my life, happily so). read at your own discretion, for I have tried my best to make you feel horny and miserable at the same time 🥰🥰🥰 stay safe xoxo

a/n from long later: hi i wrote this about a year ago and i found it in my drafts and hey why wouldn't i post it after not posting something in ages? haha. enjoy! altough it's probably rlly bad and full of mistakes hihi, i ain't reading this again to correct it. i love you muah

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The cold air felt like needles poking at your bare skin. You ran as fast as you could, barefoot in the woods, feeling every little scratch that was tearing open the skin of your soles and staining it with fresh blood. Your lungs were holding hostage a fire as you were inhaling the cold night air, and the sweat you felt dribbling down your face and back was only of help to make you feel even colder. You looked behind, once, twice, and then a third time too, slowly reducing your pace until it came to a halt.

"What am I running away from?" you ask yourself looking around. There was nothing, no one after you. So why were you running for your life? Your heart starts to beat faster as you hear screams coming from deep within the trees. But you don't run. You can't run anymore. You just fall to the ground, embracing your knees to your chest.

"Me!"

You don't turn around. That voice is way too familiar to make you turn around. Your mouth hangs open as you try to scream but no sound comes out as your muffled moans remain drowned in the deepest point if your throat.

You gasp for air as you wake up shaking your head relentlessly, in order to try to snap yourself back to the reality you're in- so your heart would stop beating so damn fast. You groan as you look over at the watch on your nightstand and see it spell 3:37 AM. You grab your phone from next to it and shut your eyes closed at the sudden brightness the screen displays. You manage to decrease it and open your contacts.

"Still awake?" you ask, and you know you shouldn't. He always offers you more than you can give back, more than you deserve. But you can't help yourself. You cannot deny yourself the little peace you still have in your life.

"Yeah, wassup?"

"Can you call?" you hit send and it's a matter of seconds between him receiving the message, him reading the message and then his name popping up on your screen. You answer.

"Again?" San questions from the other end of the phone. You only hum in affirmation. He sighs softly as you lay down on your side, phone trapped between your ear and the pillow. You hear the clicking of the keyboard and mouse clearly, he must be working late again. And yet he always answers. More than many people you've met did for you.

"Tell me a story." you ask once again. For the...well you've lost count.

"You know, one day I'm going to be out of stories," he answers and lets out a chuckle. Bathing in your silence, he takes his time to think about what he could tell you. As he begins, you close your eyes and imagine whatever he is helping you picture inside your head. Be it the times when he was a little kid and used to walk with his grandparents down the side of a river, or the times he was a teen and was always struggling to get out of trouble, San always gave you a vast amount of details that made you worship his each and every story. And they always made you dream something pretty when you dozed out of consciousness with him still talking on the other end. This night was no exception, so when you wake up, you send him a text that expresses your gratitude as always.

"Listen, if you still want a contract renewal you need to publish something within next year," you look at your boss and feel every word he lays out weighing your body down like you're going to fall through the floor. "I get writer's block, I really do. And we gave you time. You took your time. But it's been almost two years now..." his words stop reaching your ears as you're reminded. One year, ten months and twelve days. And still counting. The count will never stop, you realize, as the event it started from cannot be reversed. You will always be stuck in a period of time since it happened.

"You're one of the biggest names here in our publishing house, Y/N. We don't want to lose you but at the same time we can't keep focusing on you if it will be to no avail." he is right. He is always right, your boss. Always had a strategic mindset, and that always helped both of you. Except now. Now he was asking for something you couldn't offer.

"I'm sorry," you manage to blurt out. "I'm trying my best and I know it's not enough." if you had to be honest, hearing yourself say those words out loud made your heart break even more that it already was. Partly because it was true, and the rest? Because it sounded like you were asking for compassion, which you thought was pathetic. You never liked people looking at you the way you caught yourself looking at homeless individuals.

"I'm gonna get something out, ok? I promise you, just please have a little more faith in me. I need you to trust me to be able to do this."

You look up and make eye contact with him. Park Seonghwa was never one who showed compassion. But as his gaze traced over your fingers picking at your cuticles, the dryness of your lips and the shadows of your hollowed eyes, you felt something you grew too accustomed with in the last almost two years of your life.

Pity.

"Come on, let me take you out on Thursday." San pleaded as he was following in your steps down the hallway of the company you worked in. You didn't expect your little trip to talk to your boss would end with this. "You literally have nothing to lose." He completed and you stopped, facing him. You met his familiar and comforting eyes, which always reminded you of a cute fox, and his dimpled smile as he watched you keenly. It has been almost four years since he started working at the same company you did, but since the beginning, you two were more than just work colleagues. It was the type of connection where you would understand each other from simple looks into the other's eyes or where you could easily finish each other's sentences. You liked to consider him your platonic soulmate but you knew that if you hadn't had a relationship at the time you two met, you would've have surely gone out together and maybe made a good couple.

Well...now you didn't have a relationship anymore but you weren't exactly in the right headspace for one.

By now, you and all the rest of your workmates knew how big of a crush he had on you, but you never let it get out of control. You were feeling kind of guilty, to be honest. Knowing that in a way, you were using it to your advantage for your sleepless nights or the ones in which sleep was ruined by nightmares. But you were sure he was getting his benefits from it as well.

"Look, I want to but I really don't wanna be a bitch to you if I suddenly feel like shit." you reply, and in all honestly, it was true. Your mood hasn't been so stable lately, understandably so.

"Well, how about this: if you wake up in a good mood on Thursday and decide it's okay to hang out, you text me, and we do whatever you feel comfortable with. And if we do go out and do something together and you end up feeling like shit then you'll tell me and I'll get you home in the fastest way possible for a human being. How does it sound?"

Not bad. He is giving you every little piece of comfort that you knew you needed but you never asked for. So you agree. It wouldn't be the first time you hang out with San, sure, you never called them dates, because to you they were not. But you knew that for any outsider it looked exactly like that. And who is to blame? You two always worked hand in hand just so well. These no-pressure type of meet-ups you two had always made you feel comfortable so that was why you were considering it this time as well.

Days pass and you spend them stuck in your home, drowning in your bitter memories and your regrets. The taste of guilt never becomes sweet, you think. Not like how alcohol does when you drink more and more of the same kind. No. Guilt only grows in bitterness and in how it burns down your throat, feeling like it swirls all of your insides once it reaches your stomach. In a way, guilt feels like the long estranged sister of love. Both let their essence hover in your mind for however long they like.

As you rise from your bed to make some hot coffee you think of what day it is. Between the mix of reliving the moments long gone in the same apartment you still stand, and the countless intents to come up with something that you could present to your boss, you didn't know which one made you lose track of time more. You checked your phone for a bit of clarity. No new messages or notifications. At this point, everyone knew better than to bother you with their worries.

Thursday.

Well, seems like you had to cancel out on someone, you thought as you tried grabbing the coffee pot on the stove, but lost in your thoughts, you pay no attention to the handle and drop the pot on the kitchen tiled floor as soon as you feel the skin on your palm burn. You swore and quickly took a few steps back so the burning coffee on the ground wouldn't get to your bare feet. You shook your hand trying to get a cold breeze to the inflamed skin but it only made it feel worse. As you stopped to look at the damage you realized it wasn't all that bad, but it sure stung like a motherfucker. You ran your hand under the cold water of the sink and looked to your right. The brown liquid on the ground was expanding, getting in every little crevice in between the tiles.

****

Coffee was getting everywhere. It splashed on the kitchen counters, it was slowly getting under them too. You froze for a few seconds after your mug made contact with the floor, shattering to dozens of pieces.

"Well, that can't be a good sign." your lover said from behind you finishing with a low chuckle. You smiled, turning on your heels and taking in his form. You woke him up, well, the mug woke him up actually. Approaching you slowly, with a slight limp in his walk and his shoulders dropped all the way down, his hair was fluffed up and his skin a nice shade of pale with a few lines from the pillow on his left cheek. He always looked so angelic, you never could put it into words, how it made you feel, seeing him first thing in the morning. It was something that made your insides crazily stir up but made gave you a sense of tranquility, at the same time. That was how loving him usually was. Two opposite sides walking hand in hand. He grabbed you by the waist and pulled you closer to him, softly pressing his lips against the crown of your head. You joined your hands behind his torso and inhaled deeply. Your heart skipped a beat as your lungs felt intoxicated with his smell.

"Today is the big day, huh?" his voice was still hoarse as he spoke, every word of his drumming in your ears. You nodded.

"I'm really nervous." you answered and let your forehead drop against his shoulder. He hugged you tighter with the hand around your waist and gently pat your head with the other.

"I know, angel. But it's gonna be alright, ok? Your friends will be there, your parents will be there and I will be there. You can lean on me." he said kissing your cheek. "You know that, don't you?" his face right in front of yours, you responded with nothing more than a slow kiss. A kiss that was rehearsed so many times before that your lips and tongues already knew what they had to do, how they had to move around each other. Sometimes it felt like a dream, how everything came so easy with Hongjoong. How you didn't have to think twice about what you wanted from him and with him. And for all you knew, and all he had shown you across the time spent together, he didn't do that either. Every morning next to him felt like the luckiest one, and every night with him ended just the same. And you knew that if you were to live a hundred more years alongside him, you still wouldn't get enough of his embraces, or kisses or just simply him. There was nothing in the world that could cure the insatiable love you felt for the man in front of you.

As he pulled away from the kiss he gestured with his head behind you. "Now how about I clean the mess you made, and you make coffee for both of us? We have a book launch to attend, after all." you laughed and kissed him again.

*****

As your breath got heavier and your eyes started to burn up you unconsciously took your phone from the kitchen counter.

"a picnic would be perfect" you text your friend. The desire to get out of the prison your house has become, growing bigger by the second.

"Tell me if this isn't an appropriate question," you heard the man next to you say, derailing your train of thought as you directed your attention towards him. The weather is hot today, it really was a good call, suggesting a picnic. You haven't been on one in a long while and you missed feeling of how the calm of the nature overwhelmed most of your senses. Also, you couldn't handle a complicated social situation on this day. So it was perfect right now, laying on a blanket, stranded in a flower freckled field with none other than San. You turn your head towards him. " What made you want to go out today?" he completed, not looking at you. He was laying on his back, with one arm under his head and his eyes closed, as if he feared the reaction you were going to have to his words. You didn't blame him for asking. In a similar situation where the roles would be reversed, you knew for sure you would ask too. After all, you and San were made of many of the same things. " Don't get me wrong, I'm happy you agreed, but it didn't seem like you would." he adds.

"Some days my house feels like a torture chamber." you say turning on your side and facing him, supporting your head on your angled arm. He was so still, you could barely even notice the way he slowly breathed in and out. It was as if the sun was painting his portrait and he was afraid to move, to not mess it up. Every ray that was falling on his exposed skin seemed to caress him the way a lover does.

"And some days it does its job." you completed after returning on your position on your back, mimicking his. "Today just didn't felt like one of the days I'd like to be tortured." you finished and felt his gaze on you right before you closed your eyes. If you thought he seemed worried, you made sure not to address it.

"One time when I was little, I was playing with a friend of mine," you smiled, realizing this is just the beginning of one of his captivating stories. "I don't remember how we got to that point, but he left me in a room and said he was gonna lock me there, and so he got out and he did." a bit darker than what he usually tells you, but still intriguing.

"At first I thought it was fun, that we would take turns locking each other in the room but he wasn't coming back. The room had only one window but it was locked when I tried to open it and get out. So I just waited. I think hours passed, it was getting dark and I was getting worried and hungry, thought I'll be stuck there forever, until it crossed my mind. I never even tried to open the door. Turns out it didn't even have a keyhole."

"San, if you're trying to put me to sleep with this one, just know it doesn't really work." you say smirking, still holding your eyes closed as you let the sun bathe your face.

"I'm not, Y/N. I'm trying to tell you that most of the times, the doors aren't locked. We just think that they are." he responds and you open your eyes to look into his. His look is full of compassion, and a bit of sadness that you choose to overlook. You finally understand what he means to tell you and you realize he is right. But even if a door isn't locked, you shouldn't open it unless you're ready to do so. You gently touch the back of his hand, and he is quick to caress your fingers with his thumb, changing his focus to where your hands are joined.

"Thank you," your words came out more like a whisper than you would've liked. "I know I don't do much for you...but I'm hoping I'm not that much of a nuisance, like I feel I am." he turns his hand, joining his fingers with yours and making eye contact with you. The simple gesture of affection made your head dizzy in a way you haven't felt in a long time. Your heart creaks up a little.

"You couldn't be one even if you tried," he said, his gaze lazily tracing the outlines of your face. You were the most beautiful thing he's ever seen in his life, even now. Even after all the hardships you've been through, and that you're still going through. The adoration his heart held for you never stopped burning, no matter how much he wished for it to do so. For San, loving you was as easy as it sounded and as hard as it could get. Setting his eyes on the bags under your eyes he recalled a memory that stood like a scar on his brain. Your eyes were so dark that day, your eye bags a shade of purple he hadn't seen on any painting quite yet. Your lips were pale and chapped and your skin looked like it lost all its pigment.

Black didn't suit you so well, he thought. Not when it was worn the way you were wearing it then.

But the worst came when it was time to say goodbye. He still remembered your cries and wails and it made the skin on his spine tremble in its place. Could he ever forget how, on that day, you looked like the angel of death?

Now you looked better...like life was coming, little by little, back into your body, and the pure sunlight was definitely helping it. He should let the sun see you more often, he thought.

You pulled your hand from his when you felt like his eyes were analyzing your features for a bit too long. Rising in a standing position, you started examine the insides of the basket he prepared.

"Oh my God! You brought me watermelon!" you shouted loudly as you took the container holding the red pieces of fruit in it. The only thing San could do at your reaction was laugh, throwing his head back to look at the puffed up white clouds.

Four days since you brushed your teeth, three since you showered, two since you changed your clothes, one since you ate, and one year, eleven months and fourteen days since you've last held the love of your life in your arms. But, hey, who's keeping count anyways?

Time loses all its meaning when you confine yourself like you are some dangerous animal meant to be locked up in a cage. Between the moments you try to stay awake and the ones you try to sleep, you have little to remember. The only thing that gives a little light to the fog in your brain is San. His stories in the middle of the night, conversations you happen to have during the day and occasional meetings that you're always the one to initiate. He always makes you feel good, always picks the right words to say and you don't know how he has the patience for such things. You love and hate him for it. You love him for being such a considerate and kind person, and you hate him for making you forget. It's strange when you get home and reality dumps on you at the front door. The reality you actually live in and not one you indulged yourself to have with San for a few hours. It's just...with him everything is colorful and melodic but when you get home the only thing you hear are your sighs echoing off the walls back into your ears. You wished you could be stuck in the feeling you have around him forever, but at the same time, every time you have that feeling you feel guilty for it. Like it's impossible to allow yourself any sort of break.

The last days have been impossible to get through. All you did was look around at the mess that was around you. A mountain of clothes, waiting to be washed for weeks now, a sink full of dishes and mugs, lots of crumpled sheets on the ground ( proof of all your tries to put something together). Everything was a disaster, inside and out. You had no willpower to do anything about it but you knew that the more you would stay in a shitty space, the more you would feel like shit. So for the first time in months, you opened the window.

*****

He placed the two mugs on the windowsill as he opened the window, allowing the cold breeze of the morning to brush over the exposed skin. He watched you closely as you made sure to turn off the stove and place the coffee pot in the sink. Your eyes met his as you felt the cold air run down your back, giving you shivers. He smiled contentedly at the sight of your body slowly shuddering. The "window" habit was a thing Hongjoong let into the relationship since the beginning of it. It was crazy for you how sometimes you caught him doing it first thing after waking up. You loved to watch him open the window and inhale the morning air with his elbows pressed against the wooden frame. Those moments wouldn't last long, but you treasured them more than he maybe thought about it. There was a thing about this domestic life, and seeing him do his own rituals that had you turn into quite the observer.

"You love to make me cold, don't you?" you smile brightly getting closer and closer, until you reach the space right in front of him.

"Angel, you're so hot in the morning that I'm afraid you might overheat. I need to cool you down a little, don't I?" he says on his usual cheeky tone, the one you grew to love in such little time. As he places his hand on your hip, you take a sip of your coffee. Like your actions served as a reminder of the hot liquid resting in his mug, he does the same.

"I can think of some other ways you could cool me down..." you say as you hook your finger on the front waistband of his pajama pants, sliding it from left to right. He chuckles in his mug and pulls you closer. Your chests rise in unison as you look each other in the eye, you don't say anything but this moment feels like a promise neither of you wants to break.

He looks to his left, at the city and at the people. Taking advantage of the opportunity, you place a few slow kisses on his jaw.

"I want us to find a new place," he says scooping you up as you squeal in surprise. You hook your legs behind his waist instantly while he walks towards the bedroom. "I want a balcony." He completes before kissing you and you laugh into the kiss, thinking of the many ways you two could make use of said balcony. He sure was thinking the same thing you did, giving how he started laughing as well.

His laugh was the only thing you ever wanted to hear again.

*****

You look down at the windowsill and see the brown marks in the body of two circles imprinted on the wooden surface. You always told him to use the damn coasters. Now the wood was stained. Permanently stained. Permanently ruined. Just like you were.

As you get on with cleaning you try to keep your brain busy with thoughts like what you should do after you finish a task, and what you should do after that one is finished as well. You thank yourself for choosing to clean, as you get out of the shower and throw yourself into the bed. Not only does it now smell like flowers, but you're also tired enough for sleep to steal you the minute you close your eyes.

"Ha! Check mate!" San exclaimed from the other side of the table you both were sat at. This was an odd activity that you had never done before. Playing chess, in a park, fully exposed to the summer sun. And you weren't even middle aged. Crazy to see how far the desperation to get out of the house will make someone go. But if it was with San, you were sure that there weren't many place where you wouldn't go.

"Your mind seems to be elsewhere," he said, angling his head innocently like the little puppies do when you tell them not to lick the outlet. His black hair was swooped out of his face, making his cheekbones pop out in a way you didn't think it was more humanly possible.

"Oh, you know damn well I suck at chess, San." you said kicking his queen with your finger. It became clear to him that you were an unfit partner for this game after like, the half of the first match. As the piece made contact with the chessboard, San tittered, making his eyes turn into crescents and his dimples scar his cheeks again.

"You just don't want to learn," he said as he started picking the pawns. You gave him a hand, collecting all the pieces on your side.

"You play the pawns when you still have the queen..." he offered a dramatic sigh as he clicked his tongue on the roof of his mouth. True, it was more comfortable to lose with the pawns than with the queen.

"How's the book going?" placing the game of chess in his backpack, he made eye contact with you as he pressed his elbows against the surface in between. You sigh.

"It's not," you admit thinking about all the documents you've erased the last month or every manuscript you tossed in the trash. Nothing was coming together and you hated every word after writing it. Not only was this process driving you mad but it also made you doubt all your abilities as a writer. People would expect more from someone who had a bestseller out there, you thought. But it wasn't your job to rise to anyone's expectation.

"Maybe I was just a one hit wonder." you say smiling sadly. It really did pain you to think that you weren't able to do the sole thing you ever thought yourself good at. But maybe, after you lived in a thousand realities in the past two years (as of today, maybe the reason why you wanted to get out of your home so bad), this was your new one. A reality in which you weren't able to write anymore. Fear was not even close to describe how you felt about the future.

"Don't kid yourself, I know you'll make it eventually." San offers, grabbing your hand in his. "You know, you should be the last person who is hard on yourself." he rubs your hand with his thumb. You wish you could pull away from his touch, or to at least want to pull away. But you don't. His touch is comforting and not a lot of things in your life are that way right now. As you look at him there is a sudden desire to punch yourself in the face, for the only thing that comes through your mind is to thank him again. As you did countless of times before. He did say he grew tired of it.

"You know what I'm in the mood for?" you avoid the subject successfully as he rises his eyebrows, showering you in all his undivided attention. "Drinking my sorrows at a shitty bar." you finish off, painting a big smile on your face. He mirrors it as he sighs through his teeth, letting go of your hand. He notices your intention to avoid talking about anything serious. Anything that might actually help you. You always do it, that is exactly why you talk to him only about nonsense and why, when you call him in the middle of the night (and when he always, always answers) you make him tell you a story. Leaving him to be the only one to talk as you doze off. Never leaving room for him to ask you what is wrong or what you dreamed of. Is how you got on until then, and maybe that is why it went so slowly, the whole "moving on" thing everyone was telling you about. But it was the thing that worked best for you, you figured. Not talking about the elephant in the room got you this far, you can go a little more like that.

"Well, I happen to know the perfect place for that," rising from his seat, he extends his hand towards you. "Shall we?"

You didn't know if it was the alcohol or the bar lights or simply just him. Honestly, you couldn't tell the difference between many things anymore, but as you looked at San talking, you felt more attracted to him than ever. The mole near his eyelid seemed more prominent now, and so did his muscular arms under the fitted shirt he wore, and oh, the freckles painting constellations on his neck. His eyes were sparkling brightly and his teeth were showing from time to time. You looked closely as he licked his lips after taking a sip of his beer. The way he was doing it seemed almost erotic. That one part of your brain that would feel bad for having these thoughts has died when you drank your fourth shot, but you were glad it did. You felt more comfortable now, and with San here, there was not a lot more that you would wish for. Not realistic wishes anyway.

"I need to know which side you stand on," he says angling his body towards yours. "Socks on or off during sleep?" San asks with a serious face, as if he asked if you enjoyed kicking puppies in the face or eating toddlers for dinner. You burst out laughing at the mix of the question and his expression.

"Off, I'm not a psychopath." you answer through your stilled laugh. He frowns.

"Oh no, you're definitely a psycho. Do your feet not get cold?" a bit of frustration could be heard in his voice.

"How would I know? I'm asleep the whole time." you sip from your drink. "Don't tell me you like pineapple on pizza as well..." you plead looking at him.

"And what if I do? It's a good combination! It's like mint chocolate, de-li-cious." San smiles proudly at his outrageous statements. Maybe he is not the person you thought he was. God, he told you so much and yet you still knew so little. That was one of the most intriguing things about him. That you felt like a lifetime wouldn't ever be enough for you to get to know him completely. Like everyday he would pick another thing to like, or something utterly new to do so he doesn't get bored. He always told you how he gets bored of things and people so fast. And yet there he was, still by your side. Maybe you were the mystery he didn't get to solve yet.

"Dude, not toothpaste too.." you cry out as you push his arm, but instead of pushing him, you push yourself. You almost lose your balance off the bar stool, but San's quick reflexes kick in and grab you by the arm, pulling you back in sitting position. He cackles as you try to maintain your balance.

"Maybe we should get you home." he says laying some bills on the bar. You hum in approval and get to your feet as you follow him out of the bar, which was indeed shitty. San is a man of his word.

The walk home was short and calm as you focused more on seeming sober than to what was happening around you. It already got dark as you two strolled past the abandoned streets laughing about things you unwillingly forgot as soon as you finished laughing. This moment, you thought to yourself, is the one that you would remember when a certain song plays. One that will give you the same sensations you feel in this moment. And far away from right now, when you know you will be better, when you listen to that certain song, you'll think wow, so much has changed. That moment could happen 10 days from now, or ten years. You don't know yet. But something about this uncertainty makes you relax somehow, knowing that you still have hope. And most of it is thanks to San. He may not be aware of all the things that he is helping you with, but you are. It's like a mental list that you never stop writing on. Could you ever repay him for any of it?

"Here we are," he says as he places his hand on your shoulder and you take a hold of his arm as he rattles on about not drinking anymore and going to sleep and whatever else he decided to nag you about. Your focus is only on his lips, and then his eyes, and his lips again, and his hand on your arm, and then feeling his arm flexing underneath your touch, and the feeling of being taken care of by someone. You realize you don't want this night to end quite yet.

"Do you wanna come in?" you interrupt, and observe his quick reaction of rapidly shutting his mouth and widening his eyes.

"I could use a live storytelling session right now." you add.

What where you asking for exactly? As you looked at him hesitate for a bit, you weren't sure that you knew either. But after a few seconds of looking around, he hums in approval as he nods and follows you inside your home. It's not as clean as you would wish but not as messy as to apologize for anything. You both take off your shoes and walk into the open space living room. Feeling San's presence close behind you, you turn and signal for him to sit down on the couch as you go to a little counter.

"I have vodka, whiskey and some cherry liquor," you turn your head back towards him. He was sitting on your couch now. But not how someone who entered their friend's apartment for the first time would be expected to sit, no. Because he didn't have that posture of "oh, I don't want to make myself comfortable because my presence here is out of place". No. He looked like he fucking owned the place. Like he payed the bills. Like he chose every single piece of decoration there was inside your home. And you weren't mad about it, if you were being honest. The everlasting confidence that was emanating out his every pore always looked good on him. His legs were spread apart, and you didn't forbid yourself to spend more than a few seconds scanning his thighs, thinking of numerous ways you could make use of them. Prominent Adam's apple marked his throat as his head was thrown back over the backrest. It seemed that he moved in slow motion, lazily pulling his head up and in your direction.

"Glass of whiskey would be nice." he answered through a half pout as his hands splayed even more on the higher edge of the couch. Obeying his orders, you unconsciously let his choice be the one you make as well, so you pour the liquid in two glasses. The strong scent hits you immediately, and you know you won't be able to drink it, the alcohol in your system will reject this on the spot if you dared adventure too far. But you decided back when you invited your friend into your house, tonight was the night you were going to test your limits.

You sit yourself on the couch, next to the man you hide your desire for not so well, closer than you usually would. And he seems to observe regarding the fact that he appears to be leaning a bit into you. Maybe it's in your head. He sips from the glass you hand him, licking his lips again, the gesture he did at the bar seems to be hitting you in a certain, already wet, spot in between your legs as it did a little time ago. He hums right after swallowing the drink, you follow with interest the way his Adam's apple moves up and down. Why is he being so unworldly attractive tonight? Is it really the alcohol or has the sexual tension finally built up enough for you to not be able to take it anymore. You feel an unexpected, but not unwelcomed, ache in your heart and stomach and definitely in your pussy. He places the glass down, with careful fingers, on the table before you and resumes his previous stance, except now one of his hands chooses to rest on the thigh closer to you. You admire it from respectable distance, one which you weren't sure you'd be able to maintain for too long. His hands were clean, nails kept short on his slender long fingers, and the rings adorning them only completed the way his veins were traveling down the back of his palm. Will there ever be a time where you could look at Choi San and not like what you see? Highly doubtful.

"That's some good shit," finally his face catches your attention, and happily so. He looks at you through his lashes, smirking with one corner of his beautiful mouth. You wondered how his lips might feel. On yours, on your neck, your chest, everywhere. "never took you for a whiskey person."

"I'm not," you say through a bittersweet smile and you realize that maybe you really, desperately need the alcohol right now, so you chug some of it down. "it's been laying around." you finish the sentence and then the glass of whiskey and you place it down the table, next to his. The contrast of the glasses, one empty and one half full, makes you amused in some kind of way. It let's you reminiscence of the many times that you heard from a certain someone, how you were always rushed in the most unfit situations. It was true.

As you look back to San, you feel like you are left with no choice than laying on your back and placing your head on his lap. So you do, maybe slower than you feel you move in your drunk-dazed mind. As you nuzzle the back of your head into his thighs, you close your eyes, for your vision was getting blurry and the room slowly spun around.

"You can begin anytime." you sigh out and feel him shifting a bit underneath you. He chuckles lowly and it takes him a few moments to adjust to the situation presented before him, it would be strange to you too. These were exactly the kind of things that you hesitated to do with San, because you partly knew his feelings for you, so you didn't want to give too much water to the well. Exactly the kind of intimacy that would leave room to hope for more, want more.

And not only from his side.

"I met this girl a while ago," he starts and softly places his hand on top of your head, massaging your scalp and slowly pulling at strands of your hair. "she's the whole package. Smart, funny, kind and so fucking hot." , safe to say you don't expect his last words to hit you like they do. A tad bit of jealousy makes its presence felt in the bottom of your heart, thinking that there might be a possibility that he doesn't refer to you. But the slow strokes his fingers offer your head make you feel too good to give it any importance.

"She's got this thing about her, I don't know how to even say it. It's like every time we talk, we knew each other since birth and like the first time we ever met, all at once. It's incredible, really." the way he talked was how you only heard people talk in movies. Hopeless romantic to the very end.

"Sounds like she's got you head over heels." you huff out slightly annoyed.

"Yeah, you'd be shocked," silence following his words, words that had a heartbroken nuance to them. He continues to massage your head and his touch feels so good, so comforting, so familiar. Like he did it every time he saw you, like he at least imagined doing it every time. "she really loves my stories." he adds after what seems to be like forever, and his hand stops, pulling itself out of your proximity. Your eyes shoot open and you find his gaze upon you. At the same time he looks sad, his eyes are also filled with anticipation, of what is to come, of how you would react to the fact that he just confirmed it was you he talked about. You sit up, trying not to let the slight dizziness in your head get the best of you and turn to him. Faces close to each other, studying him one last time before things change between you two. He wants it. And you clearly want it. Both of you so bad that it's not even a surprise how you meet halfway into a kiss. You thank the universe in your head, for it being this way. For you to not beat yourself up too much later that you initiated anything. So you let yourself sink into the feeling of him, his smell intoxicating. You know that it will be hard to not feel it in your lungs for a long time after this, and you were happy for it to be that way. Your lips are shy at first, not used to kissing anymore, not used to someone who hasn't kissed you before. But the feeling is more than pleasant. He takes his time, slowly nipping away at your bottom lip, swiftly pushing his tongue into your mouth. Your teeth clash and you both smile, licking into each other's mouths a bit more. His lips are soft and so warm, this feeling has long been forgotten by your mind. He pulls away and you gasp for air, he reaches to brush the hair out of your face and cups your face gently, looking into your eyes with a glimmer you were sure you haven't seen on him before. But you knew exactly what it meant.

"I don't want it if you don't." he says, assuring you once again that his actions will only be made for your comfort.

"I can't even tell you how bad I want it." your voice soft as it answers, and after receiving your words with wonder on his face, San downs the whiskey left in his glass, only to rush kissing you right after he gulps it down. If the first kiss was both of you navigating uncharted waters, now you were both desiring more. Hungrily devouring each other, whiskey tasted so much better on his tongue. You climbed into his lap as he pulled you closer to his chest. Serving as a reminder, you needed to get that shirt off of him. And as you helped him get rid of it, you weren't even surprised of how he looked even better than what you kept picturing all night. He returned the favor of undressing you of your shirt, and briefly cupped your breasts through your bra as he pulled you into another kiss. His hands quickly running to your waist, pulling you deeper into his lap, feeling him get hard underneath you, moment by moment. One of his palms traveled down to massage your butt cheek through your jeans, and the other quickly moved up to unhook your bra deftly with steady fingers.

"You must be popular with the ladies." you whisper close to his mouth and he chuckles.

"Not with the ones I want." he replies and you jokingly slap his bicep in response. He pulls the bra off throwing it somewhere nearby and admires your chest for a second too long before taking one of your nipples in his mouth. You throw your head back and whimper at the feeling of his tongue swirling around the sensitive part of your breasts. You tangle your fingers in his hair as you try to slowly ride his thigh, feeling the need to get rid of the tension in some kind of way. He let's your nipple out of his mouth with a lewd pop and laughs as he glues his hand to the back of your head, forcing you to look into his eyes.

"Darling if you want something you just need to ask," he brings his mouth over to your chest, planting sprinkled kisses along your collarbones. "my thigh? my fingers? my cock?" he asks in between suctions on the soft, sensitive skin of your neck. You were so sexually frustrated that you thought you were going to cry, and his words definitely didn't help. If something, they only made the tightness in your belly feel even tighter. "Which one will it be?" he asks finally as his eyes find yours again. You barely manage a pathetic whimper as he let's go of your head to unbutton your jeans. His hand slides slowly until it meets the band of your panties, but it doesn't go further, his eyes stopping on your face.

"Fuck, San, I want everything." you finally verbalize for him, your words laced with desperation for him to take things further. He closes his eyes and smiles in satisfaction when hearing your words, resuming the attack on your neck, biting down some marks here and there. His fingers finally get a hold of your clit and you shudder at the sensation. The circular motions he starts only make you moan his name quietly, through whimpers. It's been so long since you touched yourself like that, let alone somebody else. Masturbation was a thing you couldn't get back into since everything happened. Every time you tried, your mind only pictured Hongjoong, and it always ended with you crying without releasing in any kind of way. That was how you spent the last two years of your life, no wonder you were sexually frustrated. But now, the only thing on your mind was San, and how you could get him to make you cum faster. The position wasn't really a favorable one, he didn't have much access and so, his movements were limited and slow. San sinks his hand further down, teasing your hole with his middle finger, coating it in your arousal.

"You're so wet baby," he slowly pushes his finger into you, wandering into your inside, and your tightness. It did definitely feel like rain after a long drought. He pumped his finger inside you a few times, adding an extra one after a few seconds, stretching you in a way that has become unfamiliar but satisfying all the same. He fastened his pace and you unconsciously started to ride his fingers, chasing after your long awaited release. It wouldn't last too much, taking in consideration that you haven't orgasmed in so long. Your left hand was on San's nape, anchoring you to some sort of reality that he was indeed there, and the other one was on his chest. It wasn't much longer until your body conjured the estranged feeling in your tummy, you were close. San seemed to read your thoughts once again as his movements came to a halt, you offered a frustrated whimper in return. He lifted you up of his lap and placed you on your back next to him. He helped you get rid of your jeans and then your panties.

"I know you want to cum, but I want you to do it in my mouth." his face in between your thighs, breath fanning over your aching core. This time he didn't wait for a verbal response anymore, and you were glad he didn't. His warm tongue licked a long swipe starting from your hole to your clit, his mouth latched to it with sensual movements, sucking and licking at it, taking all the time in the world.

"Ho...ly fu-fuck," you gasped as you threw your head back into the cushion of the couch, arching your back under his ministrations.

His tongue was skilled, and so were his fingers when they slid inside you for the second time tonight. He curled them up, hitting your g-spot every time he pumped them in. Your body shuddered hardly at the sensation.

"Feel good?" he asked looking up at you, for the first time since he positioned you like this, you looked down at him. And what a sight for sore eyes, so lewd that if you looked at it for long enough you would cum without him needing to do anything to you anymore.

"So good," you reply and place one of your hands into his raven hair when he continues abusing your sensitive bud in the best way you could think of, he continues his movements with his tongue and his fingers, and it's only a matter of seconds until it builds up. You pull at his hair as he deepens his head in between the thighs that are now clenched around his head and it finally all becomes too much for you.

"Fuck....San....ahh," you cry out whilst shutting your eyes tightly, thing that makes you see stars in the back of your head.

You feel proud for satisfying his wish. San seems too feel so as well. You come undone on his fingers, and he pulls them out quickly to attend your releasing wetness with his inpatient tongue, you feel as if you could pass out from the soft stimulation. Such a long time since you've had an orgasm and this might have been the best way to have one.

"Fuck, you taste so good," he says as he slowly rises and takes his place above you, letting you have a taste yourself as he kisses you, swirling his wet muscle in every corner of your mouth, making sure none of it is getting left untouched by him. You sure do taste better on his tongue. Feeling his hard dick press on the inside of your thigh, in all its dizziness, your brain only wants more.

"Can we go to the bedroom?" you ask nicely, only to be met once more with San's surprised face. Like the thought that you still might want more never crossed his mind. He helps you up by the waist and lets you guide the way to the room. As you enter the it you quickly run to the bed, throwing yourself on it as you giggle like you're high, and you might as well be. High hormones had the same effect as weed for you. San only shakes his head with a smile on his face, while looking down and getting his belt off. Shit, this is really happening. Really finally happening. He slowly approaches the bed, ridding himself of his pants as he reaches the edge of it. Your friend pulls down his boxers as well, and you watch closely as his erect member is finally out of its entrapment, it springs up vividly, slapping against his torso. You're left in surprise at the sight of his girthy, definitely above average long, cock. You bite your lip involuntarily and he laughs to your reaction.

"You don't need to," you quickly blurt out as soon as you see him pulling a condom from his wallet. "I mean...I'm clean, if so are you then..." well it's safe to say you've became quite a desperate little thing during your two, deprived of sex, years. "then, we don't need to worry." you finish your sentence.

"You sure?" he asks for confirmation once again.

"Yeah, 'm sure." you respond and beckon him with your index finger. He muffles out a swear word you don't quite register as he drops the condom from his hold, quickly climbing on the bed. He crafts a better position above you, kissing you gently as he lines up his tip with your entrance. You whine in anticipation, lips still attached to his own, softer ones. He slowly pushes himself inside, taking lots of time to make sure your tightness grows comfortable around him. It hurts. Not only it is the first time with San, it felt like the first time altogether. At first, it seemed like your damn hymen grew back. Ironic, considering the amount of sex you used to have. You frowned as you whimpered softly into his mouth. He quickly broke the kiss, watching you with a slightly panicked look on his face.

"Hey, you all right?" he brushed the hair out of your face with his right hand, holding his weight on his left arm. You slowly started to get used to him, your whole body relaxing noticeably when seeing his face.

"Yeah, you can move." you stated with a voice glazed with desire. He did as asked, moving his hips in slow strokes, every time trying to deepen himself more inside you. He groaned each time his dick reached a new part of you.

"Fucking hell, how are you so fucking tight?" he lets out in a tone that almost seems annoyed with the state of your pussy.

"You...are the first...since then." you speak in between craving moans. He shudders at your words, stopping for a second, as he buries his forehead in the crook of your neck.

"Well, damn, princess. Should've let me stretch you out sooner." he whispers into your ear. And that is by far the most obscene thing that has left his lips tonight. He started moving again, this time picking a pace that had you crying out for his name. You couldn't think of much else when San was fucking you, his cock kindly brushing over a certain sweet spot every time it reached its depth. His dick and your pleasure occupied most of the place inside you and your mind, respectively. But at one point, you did try to recall how exactly you ended up right there. Somewhere along the way of finding the answer, you realized it didn't matter how, it mattered that it did. And the strokes that San was driving into you only made you thank the universe that it happened. Following after his release, he increased his speed. His voice was starting to get raspy after groaning and moaning, as did yours, both of your throats dry now.

"I...I think I'm gonna cum..." he whispered in your ear, and you immediately understood the question hiding behind his words. Your mind was in a state of debate for a few too many seconds. In or out? The only person that ever came in was him. In or out? But you wanted San to cum inside you so badly. In or out? That wouldn't be fair. In or out? But why wouldn't it be?

"Inside." you determinately say. His movements begin to grow messy, losing rhythm. He immerses into you deep, almost knocking you out with the way his cock is so richly stuffed inside you, and he let's out an angelic cry as he fills you up with white ropes of his hot seed. With his forehead glued to your shoulder, San pauses to catch his breath for a few seconds, before pulling his body up to get better vision of you. He cups your cheek and kisses you softly once again, pulling himself apart from you quicker than expected.

"You're so beautiful," he brushes his thumb over your lips. "I could look at you for all eternity." your heart thumps heavily when hearing his words. It made no sense for you how someone who looked like him, could tell you that you're beautiful. It seemed so far away from your reality, but still, you were thankful. At a loss for words, and only giving a shy smile in return, San mirrors it as he ascends and then throws himself in the empty space next to you. The only thing that is heard the next few minutes is both of your breaths as your chests heave. You nuzzle up into San's side, he embraces you with his arm as you grab him by the waist, laying your head on his chest. He kisses you on the crown of your head as he starts humming a melody that you don't think you've heard yet. Nonetheless, sleep gets a hold of your tired body and mind quickly, and you don't know if it's the alcohol that creates an illusion, or if it's just San's presence, but throughout your dreams you feel as if you are guarded by an angel.

Easily the best sleep you've had in a while. You are reminded of how easy it is to fall asleep on someone else's shoulder, just as you wake up.

*****

Before you met him you always thought you were better at spending time alone than you were at spending time with others. Now your thoughts had changed about the matter. It was like you were made only for being in Hongjoong's company, and when you were, you felt at peace. Like nothing could affect you ever again. The moments after sex were the ones you loved most, it almost felt like after your bodies were joint, your souls were getting combined as well, while laying on one another. He had his warm hand draped against your waist, playfully tracing circles on your soft skin, humming whatever song came to his mind. Your hand was on his bare chest and your head in the crook of his armpit. If you would be stuck in a time loop made only of this moment, you would never get sick of it.

The heat his body was emanating seemed to strangely warm you up from inside out, and the smell that was around the two of you was making your mind dizzy and your lungs crave for more. Feeling his chest rise as he inhaled and exhaled made you realize that your breaths were in sync, and hearing his heartbeat, you were sure they were too, in sync with yours. For you, loving Hongjoong was such a natural thing to do, like you two were extensions of each other and worked at full capacity only when together. His fingers slowly took a hold of your hand which he brought to his lips, he kissed it and then squeezed it tightly. You looked up into his eyes. His beautiful eyes sprinkled with love and adoration as he watched you.

"I think that every day I spend with you, I find a new meaning to love." he brushes your cheek gently and you stay silent, your mind in a stage of awe at how greatly he sums up the things you feel, without even talking to each other. You smile as you kiss him again and again and again.

"Then let's find a new meaning to love together for the rest of our lives," still standing close to his face, you see him smile and you do as well. You knew that even in the darkest of days, his smile would always lighten up your whole world. He pecks your lips again and suddenly tries to get up from the bed, the coldness you feel not only in your body, but your heart as well, wraps around your mind and you quickly grab his hand. He stops and kneels on the bed, looking at your uncovered body still on display for the flame that takes ahold in his enchanting eyes.

"We'll be late..." he says as he gets closer to you. That wouldn't be a problem, you think. The author should be allowed to be late to their own book release, right?

"Ten more minutes," you plead as you pull him towards you. He smirks and let's you take control of both his mind and body, as he lays on top of you, filling you up with the heat emanating from his body once again. After all, ten minutes wasn't that much, right?

*****

There it was. The selfishness that has made you lose him. The selfishness that brought you here with San. Everything was your fault. You lost so much of yourself the day you lost Hongjoong, but you were sure your last bit of humanity was completely lost the day you let Choi San believe that you could love him the same way he did. How could you be so reckless? You couldn't even blame the alcohol anymore, only your fucking stupidity. You used the only friend left that you cared about, as a rebound. And he doesn't even know. You looked up at the man who was holding you tight against his chest, as if not to lose you. He was still asleep. His natural unflawed beauty made your heart exclaim in agony as you traced his features with your gaze. As thoughts were overwhelming your mind, you placed your head in its initial position. Your eyes were starting to sting when tears started to form up.

You were the worst there was, weren't you? You killed your boyfriend and you deceived your friend into being your distraction, from all the pain and guilt, in more than one way. You didn't recognize yourself anymore, not after so much time of ignoring all your thoughts and suppressing all your feelings thinking it would get better. It didn't get better, the opposite actually, seeing where you stand right now. It was all because of you, and your selfishness, and it could've all be avoided if you didn't wish for fucking ten more minutes.

You started quivering and sobbing.

"Hey, hey, what's wrong?" San confusedly asks. This should be a sight to see as soon as you open your eyes. The girl you were balls deep in the night before, crying in front of you the morning after. Comforting you came natural to him, like he has been doing it for all his life. And you realized he did do it, not for all his life, sure, but since it happened. He has done his best to comfort you in every way he could. And he always succeeded. And this is how you repaid him. How could you be such a fucking asshole?

"San you need to...you have to leave...I'm sorry." you say through sniffles as it gets harder and harder for you to control the tears pouring down your face. You cannot look him in the eyes but you do get a peek at his grave look, how he looks down, unsure of what to do.

"Did I do something?" he quietly asks with a certain thread of fear in his voice, as if he was terrified of what his question might cause. You wish you could tell him that at the same time he didn't do anything, he also did too much. His kindness and love were too overwhelming for you in the state you were in.t. No matter how much he tried, his love couldn't repair you. You were the only one who could do that, but for what felt like the longest time, you didn't want to do it. Maybe it was time to try now.

"God, no..." you barely manage to blurt out. Speaking seems like the most tiring thing to do right now. "I just have to be alone right now." trying to stop your tears briefly, you look him in the eyes as he retracts his hands off of you. And you can't help but feeling it again, even if you know that it's not the case. Abandoned. Once again, and like the first time, it was all because of you. He got up from the bed, quickly dressing himself in the heavy silence that was surrounding both of you. You slowly hugged your knees to your chest, slightly burying your head in the space that you created. Maybe it wasn't for the best to be left alone but you were afraid of what might happen if you weren't. You saw San walk to your front door, put on his shoes and look at you for a last time. You looked up at him with teary eyes.

"Y/N, I..." love you. He didn't need to enunciate it, you could already see it on his face, how much it hurt him to leave you in this mess, all alone. Whatever you felt for him was so hard to decipher in the amalgam of things that were dwelling inside of you. And it was even harder to accept that you did have certain feelings for him, stronger that you would've liked. He sighed and slowly shook his head, looking down. You saw him leave and then you didn't see much anymore. As bitter tears that flooded your eyes slowly slid into your mouth. Painful screams were tumbling out of your chest giving you no chance to control them. As you get up off the bed you start grabbing whatever comes first and throwing it around. Cradled papers, books off of shelves, tiny decorations on your desk. You reach a framed photo of you and Hongjoong and stop for a second to look at it. Back at the beginning of your relationship when you went to a museum. It started snowing so much that his black coat turned white. You still remembered the cold weather of that period but the warmth of his smile was burning still, even through the damn picture. A few of your tears stained the glass of the photo and after you whimpered in the discomfort you felt around your heart, like someone was squeezing it in their fist, you threw it on the wall across from you. Did you really have to destroy everything nice in your life? As soon as it shattered to pieces you rushed towards it, as if you were not expecting the completely obvious to happen.

"No, no, no..." you whisper to yourself in disbelief. You slowly pick the broken glass in your shaking hands as your crying only gets louder, rivers of tears flowing down your face when your eyes can't seem to look anywhere else but at the old photo.

"I miss you so fucking much..." you whimper in pain, like a dog being beaten.

It's pure torture, you realize, what you're doing to yourself. It takes a lot for your now bloody palms to make contact with your face and wipe your tears, only leaving more of a mess behind. The flesh, now torn from picking up the thin pieces of broken glass, stings when your salty tears slide over the bloody trails and as you rise up with wobbly legs to throw it in the trash, you find yourself looking out the same window you stood with your lover on his last day beside you. Your tears suddenly came to a halt as you looked at the city lights near and far away; your breathing steadied and you remembered.

I want a balcony.

How were you supposed to move on, when you haven't even moved out?

You never felt so nervous for anything in your life before. The microphone was waiting for you on the warmly illuminated stage. You took shy steps towards it as the people started to applaud loudly, you were sure you heard someone whistle from the crowd. As you got in front of the microphone stand you placed one hand on it, dragging it closer. You were not sure how to do this. It should've been your second time, but due to the incidents back then, it was the first time in your life you had to speak at your own book release. Or even attend it. You inhaled deeply and looked through the crowd once more. Your eyes met Seonghwa's as he slightly raised the glass of champagne towards you. The pity he laid upon you with the help of his gaze a while back had turned into pride. You couldn't help but remember the surprise on his face when you went not to his office, but his house, at two in the morning, when you finally finished writing.

You spent the night together, he began reading and you fell in and out of sleep on his couch. When you woke up, he made breakfast for you and he told you how great it was, with the little eternal side notes from his side. He was proud.

"I have no idea what I should say," you offer a strong beginning, everyone starting to chuckle at your awkward comment. "I've been through hell and back writing this book. Two years and a half ago I lost the love of my life in a car accident, and for a long time I thought I lost everything." the room became suddenly tense as you spoke the words.

"But this should be a reminder that some doors aren't closed. We just think that they are." you finish off raising your glass and looking at a familiar pair of eyes. Everyone cheers as you get off the stage, and after receiving compliments from your boss, your team and other people as well, you follow the suited silhouette that you've been secretly chasing with your stare all night, outside.

"Hey," you greet as you find San on a bench right next to the venue. His eyes meet yours and for a brief second it's like all the nerves you had on stage came back, but they were doubled this time. It was hard going through everything without San. He tried to contact you, of course, but you weren't giving him much and the only times you saw him were when you ran into each other at work. When you looked at yourself in the mirror you couldn't recognize yourself anymore, but he? He was just the same. Dressed for the occasion, his black hair swiped back neatly and his face...as gorgeous as ever, and the most beautiful thing you've ever seen.

"Hey," he greets back as he drags his body on one side of the bench, signaling for you to join him. You sit beside him and look forward, feeling his eyes on your figure. "how have you been?" he asks, his voice glazed in worry. You made him suffer for the last time, you tell yourself. The whole ghosting thing and all the times you avoided him, those summed up the last time you were going to ever hurt him. For now you were working towards slowly healing the wound that has scarred you, which gave you more clarity about a lot of things.

"Better." you answer, looking in his direction. "I finally got it out!" you add smiling, a bittersweet smile that you held inside for a long time, it was for him only.

"I told you." San mimics your smile and looks into the distance.

"You did," moments of silence accompany as you think of the best way to embody your thoughts into words. "I never got to apologize." you start and his head shoots right at you. "I'm sorry. For using you to try and fuck my pain away." finally saying it aloud to him and getting it off your chest make your lungs finally not burn up when you try to inhale.

"I should apologize too," he begins and it's your turn to look at him with confusion.

"A part of me was aware that you were trying to do that and yet I wasn't able to stop myself." he adds. And it's like some part of you already knew, and already forgave him for it and that was because you knew you had way more blame than him, but you learned to come to terms with it, like you did with many things in your life. Learning to forgive yourself wasn't an easy process, but with the help of a good therapist, you slowly learned how to do it. You were at peace with a few of the things that kept you awake during the night. Slowly getting better.

"I'm sorry." he says and you're sure that more honest words had never left his mouth.

You take his hand into yours and place it on your lap. For the first time since you know him, his hands are cold. You use your other palm as a blanket and cover his hand from the cold winter breeze outside. He nurtured for you enough, it was finally time that you were ready to return the favor.

"I read the book," he says, looking at your hands holding each other.

"Lots of them are inspired from your stories," you refer to the poems, thinking of how many more were written with your mind only thinking about him that didn't even make the cut into the book. "and lots of them are inspired from you." You look into his eyes as he squeezes your hand gently. Maybe you didn't yet know what you wanted. But you knew what you didn't want. And you didn't want to lose San. Not again. Not ever.

"Can I take you out on Thursday?" he asks as his gaze stills down on your warm face. If he asked you this on a bad day, you still weren't sure what your answer would be, but today was a good day. You never got to say goodbye to Hongjoong, but that didn't mean you couldn't say hello to anyone ever again. "You know, in case you need more inspiration for your next masterpiece." he adds and you laugh shortly while nodding quickly. You spend a few more minutes in silence, enduring the cold air, silently revealing to each other the most vulnerable parts of you. You look down at your joined hands and then into his eyes. You smile, partly because you do feel happy, and the rest because you know he'll do the same, and hell, you fucking missed that dimpled smile of his.

The man doesn't say anything when you lean your head on his shoulder, but you are almost sure you can hear his heart beating faster. "I missed you so much." you finally say, letting your feelings pour out in front of San for the first time, leaving you vulnerable in a way no one has seen you since then.

And for the first time, while looking at the bright clear sky above you, you think for yourself that...He would be so proud.

[mintytealfox]

What do you think about norton's 5th birthday rewards? (Like the portrait and it's clues etc.)

HEH I can finally sit down and slam down some thoughts!! 😈😈 THE PORTRAIT:

In film the direction a person is facing or going is a tell, and going from right to left (he is facing left here so its assumed he is moving right to left) that signifies negative/bad orz it pushes more negative feeling. Doesn't help that his shadow is right leaning hard up-left, giving a feeling of powerful increasing negative orz

Now the lighting! his back is to the light as he faces the darkness and that darkness is mainly shown as his alter's shadow. This makes me think that he is really leaning into that side of himself and leaving who he was behind orz

B U T

He isn't looking forward he looking more towards the 'camera'/off to the side a bit, which makes me think there is a chance that he could see something that makes him about-face/turn around towards the light, cause the light hasn't all together abandoned him, its there. Its within view even on the upper corner of the map within his sight, more so than the dark majority of the map, he isn't really looking there at the dark, he is looking up and off to the side a bit.

It makes me think that the map is his plans but the light has other ideas and catching his attention 👀

THERE IS STILL HOPE PEEPS!!!!!

THE MESSAGE:

This message makes me DIE 😭😭and that is all I have to say about it.....just kidding LOL IMMA TEAR IT TO BITS HERE WE GO

The fact that what he desires above all else is freedom ;; cause that is what the sky usually means in media FREEDOM ;;

He wants:

-the fresh air -the ability to feel the sun -and to feel the breeze -to hear the trees leaves rustling and birds chirping -being allowed to rest when he needs to ;;

All he knows is darkness ;; waking up before the sun, going underground, coming back home after the sun has already set. He only knows night life, tired life. When people are exhausted and get drunk and start showing the worst parts of themselves when they think everyone is already asleep and wont see them acting in such a way. He only knows a cruel, sad, back breaking world ;; Then down in the mines its just deep, dank, all you can hear are eerie sounds and clanking of pick axes and the occasional noise from animals brought down into the mines to check for poison air. Senses constantly on alert for any potential cave-ins or other dangers and to top it off, Norton having to deal with bullying 🙃

and even after ALL that, ALL he can think about, and truly wants, is to see the sky during the day and enjoy it

I AM SCREECHING IN AGONY

Then here is Benny's letter to Norton's dad, about the dreams he has if gold is found and all the lavish ideas that Benny thinks those riches will bring. That dream and what Benny believes money will give then enters Norton's mind. "Money is the key to freedom", and there begun the spiral orz He turned to doing anything and EVERYTHING to reach for that 'promised' freedom that he can have if he gets the money required. ;; Everything around him becomes a means to get to that desired freedom. Then once he reaches that freedom he is FREE TO BE WHO HE REALLY IS ;; So the thought process of "I have to be whatever is required now, so I can be my true free self later" ;; but that isn't how that works orz

I have found that misery is similar to money. Misery loves company, and with money there is never enough (if you don't have a healthy relationship with money) That is where the greed creeps in for Norton. He is obviously making some money, it is said that his employers were very pleased with his work. He even moves up to prospector instead of just a miner, or at least he was working on the side in secret as a prospector cause bro is LOOKING HARD for that gold. (And you can tell he knows what he is doing cause he just has to check out the area and he KNOWS that gold is not going to be there and officially crosses those areas out). So if he wasn't officially a prospector he could have become one EASY. A Prospector searches for the GOOD GOOD not just gold, we are talking valuable substances that the earth makes, especially O I L. Gold is fine and dandy but OIIILLLLLLLLLLLLLLL is where its at! If Norton wasn't so distracted by finding gold (which would have been taken by the owner of the mine anyways cause honestly why would the world be fair and let the person who found it keep it) BU T OOIIILLLLLLLLLLLLLLL can be found on land that isn't owned by anyone 👀He would need to find an attorney pretty damn quick BUT IT WOULD BE HIS and most, if not all, of the money going to HIM OH MY GOSH NORTON IS SMART!! He could have figured out a way to track down an area where oil could be found, he did that for GOLD he can absolutely do that for OIL as well and he would have wound up richer than most aaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Norton knows how to sell his abilities and these people (those employers) already love his work ethic and what he can do. All he would have to do is say "I can do such and such and I have proof" those employers might trust him and say 'alright how much you need to finish this plan to get that mineral 'gold mine'. People LOOOVVEEEE the prospect of getting more money and are willing to risk it all for that reservoir of significantly MORE cash/income. So they would invest in Norton and Norton would provide and he would get his massive cut of cash along with those who invested in him LIKE HE COULD HAVE HAD AN ENTIRE OPERATION SIMPLY BECAUSE HE IS FANTASTIC AT WHAT HE DOES AAHHHH but as we all well know that is not how it went down orz aahhhhhh

He was completely blinded in that pursuit of gold and keeping it for himself that he lost himself, lost his way and even lost track of what he truly wanted, to be free. You don't need a ton of money to be free. You need enough, of course, but not heaps and heaps of it orz I think he would have been more than sufficiently happy being an actual prospector and finding mineral deposits and selling them off. Bro would ADORE being an explorer, studying the land and finding the earth's riches and moving on to find the next mineral deposit, making bank as he travels and people paying even more for his good and successful work. GOSH DANG IT 😭😭😭😭

but this is me getting all wishful thinking and living in 'ideal world' land. Setting off to find his first mineral deposit would have been risky but bro has survived worse and he is stubborn, able to live off the land, and studious enough that I haven't the slightest doubt that he would find good areas that would catch people's attention, it would take time but he could do it. There is the risk of people taking advantage but with what he has seen and learned he would likely be ready for it and end up taking advantage of THEM H A R D E R LOL

but these are just my thoughts and getting all wishful at the end here to balance out the EMO STUFF NetEase is tossing out lol

Gosh DANG I just want bro to be happy -CRYYYYY-

[lydscare]

ponyboy curtis dating/relationship headcanons pt.2

warnings/notes: ponyboy is a softie, half of these are about the gang’s reactions to y’all dating 😭; no warnings 🙌 (pony is a little insecure, though)

a/n: didn't realize that there's a word limit, so here's the second part to my ponyboy curtis dating/relationship hcs 😭

reader is gender-neutral / my masterlist 

BUT he may put his arm around your shoulders, specifically if someone’s flirting with you and doesn't know that you’re taken

hand holding and cheek kisses are definately a go-to pda thing !!

speaking of, he does always get a little red whenever you lightly peck his cheek, he gets this shy little smile on his face :))

random “kiss attacks” all over his face also leave him a blushing, laughing mess

possibly a little suggestive, but he loves when you kiss him down his neck too (in private of course ;))

you guys have had makeout sessions before though

the first time you guys were getting into it (making out, nothing else 🙃) he didn’t know where to put his hands. hold your face? place them on your waist? (heh, that rhymes) he honestly has no clue, so please help guide him through it :’)

behind closed doors and away from prying eyes though, he loves to cuddle

on rough days he likes being held but loves holding you just as much

ponyboy’s definitely held you, your head on his shoulder, laying slightly on him. he’s reading to you, his fingers gently treading through your hair. his voice is very soothing to listen to

there will definitely be days where you both go to the curtis household and just chill in him and soda’s room 

study dates would either take place in the library at school, or in his room on his bed

ponyboy was very nervous when he first introduced you to his brothers. they both mean the world to him, and he really wants you to get along with them

soda takes an immediate liking to you probably because he’s heard so much about you, before you and ponyboy were even dating. he’s interested in the learning about the person who’s stolen his little brother’s heart

“ah, the legendary mx. y/n l/n. i’ve heard a lot about you.” 

“all good things, i hope?”

“please, ponyboy couldn’t name a bad thing about you if he tried.”

“soda!”

one time soda walked in on you two cuddling and being all cute. pony never heard the end of it 😭

soda teases pony relentlessly for y’ll’s relationship, whether you are in the house or not 

“my baby brother is growing up so fast 🥹”

“soda, i’m 14–”

you two will just be heading up the stairs to pony’s room, and you’ll just hear soda’s voice behind you:

“keep it family friendly, you two ;)”

“shut your trap, soda!” 

“whatever you say, ponywony 😘”

darry’s had to step in before because it’s gotten so bad 😭

at first darry didn’t have too big of a reaction when he found out that ponboy was dating someone, more specifically you; not meaning that he didn’t care. just, with his very stressful and busy life, he dosent have enough time on his hands to be concerned about who his brothers are dating. he knew that pony had a crush, but didn't think much of it—until he actually met you.

the minute ponyboy introduces you to him

oh boy

like he shakes your hand, and you thought you offended him or something

“y/n? are you okay?”

*whispers* “i think your brother broke my hand..”

you thought he was going to murder you for even looking in pony’s direction

don’t worry

it may seem that way, but he would never

not even close..

he just wants to make sure that you don’t have any..ulterior motives

then he sees how much happier a person ponyboy seems to be just by being around you

and sees that you’re a sweet kid

and then he reminds himself that you and pony are just two young teens in love, and is pretty much fine with you from then on

admittingly, he was a little concerned that you might have a bad influence on ponyboy overtime, and make his grades somehow start to drop

but then he walked in on you and pony studying in his room and all of his doubts melted away since then

darry would also be the type to peek in through the door crack every now and then just to see you two interacting and being all cute and couplely. has seen you two cuddle up and take a nap together (he was like: 🥹)

over time darry definitely becomes some kind of a big brother/father figure for you

you often find yourself over at the curtis household; it’s just very homey and comforting in being there (despite it being loud, and messy most of the time)

whether it be due to the fact that you have a bad home life or simply because you like the place, darry always assures you that you’re welcomed there (soda says this too, obvi)

over time, ponyboy introduces you to the rest of the gang

you yourself are a little nervous to meet the group of greasers, but that only ends up making poor pony nervous also

“pony, are you sure this is a good idea? i mean, what if they don’t like me–”

“no. no. no. don’t say that. this is going to go great, you’re all going to get along swell and NOTHING at ALL will go wrong”

“pony?”

“yeah, y/n?”

“..you’re suffocating my hand, sweetheart.”

anways

steve’s pretty chill with you

two-bit teases y’all (ponyboy) relentlessly

then there’s johnny, the main member of the gang who pony really wants you to get along with (pony’s probably talked to johnny about you too ;))

and…you do!

it takes a bit, but johnny actually finds himself being easily comfortable with you and opens up quite fast, all things considered

the rest of the gang is also just as surprised by this, that’s when they knew you were someone special (what, with your good looks, humor, and charm ;))

pony’s just so so happy that two of his favorite people get along, and even more so that the rest of the gang seems to accept you happily into their little family

and if you end up hanging out with them over time, it’s even better!

pony’s literally crying inside, he got so lucky 🥹

(wait, i forgot about dally–)

dally obviously contributes to a lot of the teasing, directed to both you and ponyboy. 

“you’re growing up so fast, kid”

they can tend to be not very family friendly comments, which can make things awkward at times

“great i gotta ‘nother kid to watch out for. *mumbles* i hate kids, man.”

he pretends to be bothered by you whenever you end up taking along, but he’s honestly fine with it

he even comes to like you and you’re humor/personality :))

but anytime dallas makes you uncomfy with a particularly nasty comment or oversteps any of your boundaries, pony will tell him to leave you alone

dally is certainly surprised by this, but then sees that you’re helping pony be stronger in the way that pony’s not afraid of him anymore

despite him having more respect for ponyboy after any of these “protective pony” instances, he jokes about you two being sickening

he still has to keep up his “strong & tuff greaser that’s definitely not moved by two teens’ romance” front (stoic bastard–)

also, dally and johnny probably end up taking along with you guys on your dates (you end up having fun anyways though :))

in conclusion, the gang loves you, he gets you into books and you help him grow more happy and confident :))

#couplegoals, if i do say so myself

y’all make me feel so single, i swear 🥲–

[ovaova]

🧡🅑🅐🅚🅤🅖🅞🧡

🧡🅕🅐🅜🅘🅛🅨🧡

💕🅗🅔🅐🅓🅒🅐🅝🅝🅞🅝🅢

Teehee a list of head cannons for family man Bakugo, I’m sorry but I’m such a simp for dilf Bakugo <3

No minors! If you get in some trouble, that ain’t on me 🤷🏽‍♀️

And if you know me…no you don’t 🙃

May have many typos but oops🤭

Oki babes enjoy <3

✧ ╚═*.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.*═╝ ✧

• Honestly…at first, he couldn’t see himself as a father- absolutely no way

• But oops, he got you pregnant 3 times so here we are 🤷🏽‍♀️

• First child was a boy and two after are girls

• During the first diaper change with his son, he got peed on 💀 one of his fav shirts too

• You can bet you laughed your ass off, and yeah he was mad but he’ll be okay 🤭

• He loves his kids with his whole heart but during them toddler years, he would hate when they ass got sick, wanna know why?

• SNOT BUBBLES AND CRUST-

• You know when kids (specifically toddlers) would get sick and they never wipe their nose so the mucus just stays there and clumps up and gets crusty 💀 yeah he hates that shit- but who wouldn’t?

• And he LOWKEY feels bad, cause his kids would just be jumping around him happy and shi to see their balding ass daddy but he can’t help but grimace at they nose

• “Hey c’mere for a second 💀-“ he would state all calmly and shi before basically wiping off their skin with a tissue

• yeah he don’t play bout that

• DO NOT LET THIS MAN PLAN NO VACATIONS- cause he’ll over do it 💀

• For example, one year yall took the kids to Disney World- BRUH, even when packing, this man was acting like if this trip didn’t go according to schedule- it was gonna kill him 💀

• But in reality he’s just super excited to take his family on vacation. While packing in yalls bedroom he would be like this-

• “So we’re going to animal kingdom on the first day, and then (C/N) wants to go see the princesses, and we’ll need matching shirts or something, oh and can’t forget new bathing suits bc (C/N) needs a new one and then they’ll all want one so everyone is gettin one- and you wanna go to Epcot and-“

• You would say he sounds like Izuku with all this muttering

• This man literally makes y’all be at the airport like 3 hours before the actual flight 💀

• “I wanna make sure we can get situated, I don’t feel like dealing with all those extra people-“

“Okay fair, BUT THREE HOURS? 💀”

• Most def has the dad airport pose, just standing there like “🧍🏼‍♂️ “ …especially at baggage claim

• Anyways, will always spoils y’all-

• On the plane? First class. Hotel? In Disney world where the park is walking distance. Parks? Basically all of em-

• He can’t help himself, you and him are always so busy with being heroes and parents so he can’t help but spoil the hell out of y’all even though he knows he shouldn’t as much as he does

• Most def one of those dads to y’all instead of stopping your kids when they fight

• Like when you’re at work or something, he’ll be baby sitting talking to Kirishima on the phone or whatever from the couch- and then he’ll hear scuffling loud noises coming from somewhere in yalls house

• “Yeah man and it was crazy, I think we should all get together and go one day-“

“Yeah hold up shitty hair, give me a minute- HEY, YALL BETTER NOT BE MESSING UP THIS DAMN HOUSE……………yeah definitely, we should get together,”

While Kirishima is still lon the line like 🧍🏼‍♂️

• Or like whenever they fight when your both cuddling at home and you’ll be looking at him, expecting him to stop them but he’ll just be like 🤨???

• “It builds character…that’s how I was raised and look I’m fine…“

😟 FINE WHERE?? (Everywhere)

• okay so idk but this was a memory I had with my dad, but I was a very hard headed kid and never knew when to stop asking for shit I didn’t know nothing about- specifically alcohol 💀

• Like I would always think It was juice and my dad would always say “no it’s not and it’s nasty, you’re not gonna like it-“ but I convinced my self that him and all adults were lying just so kids wouldn’t drink their “special juice”

• But ofc I was persistent and constantly kept asking and he finally let me take a swig and yeah I learned my lesson 💀

• But yeah I can see him possibly doin that 💀 it would be like-

“I want Juice-!”

“It’s not juice, it’s nasty, you won’t like it..”

“Yes it is, I want some of that Juice!!”

“It’s not juice-!”

“JUICE-“

“FINE- here DAMN, go ahead-“

*sips*

“EUGH-“

“YEAH- told you you wouldn’t like it. Now do you want more juice?”

“NO-“

“Yeah that’s what I thought…okay now go get some actual juice- I don’t want your mama on my case..“

• One of his fav things is to cook for his family, like if it was up to him, he would most def take on cooking every night but you won’t let him cause you don’t want him burnt out <3

• His middle daughter specifically loves to help him cook tho when she can, she’s most def his lil sous chef

• Loves to bake with him and everything, oml it’s so cute

• He tries his best to spend quality time with each of his kids, like with his son, going out into nature, his middle daughter, cooking, and his youngest daughter, designing things and dressing him up

• But whenever he spends time, that goes for you too

• Like any personal time he can get with you, he’ll take it

• like as soon as the kids go over to his parents for the weekend, oh yeah he’s all over you

• Grinding on you, eating you out like a starved man, letting you ride him whenever he gets a chance (yeah he’s trying to get all he can out of this weekend)

• And like you can be as loud as you want 🤭

• He most def walks around shirtless when no kids around, he has a bit of a dad bod but it’s still hawt and you can still see the scratch marks on his back from your last session tee hee

• He loves these intimate moments with you. They’re more of a need, but sometimes he puts too much into it 🤭

• And oops, there goes baby #4 🧍🏽‍♀️

• Welp that’s my take on Family Man Bakugo 🤷🏽‍♀️

⬇️Song of the day ⬇️

[kinkandkreep]

TokRev Boyos Dad-canons:

Baji-boo:

Learned how to be a dad from observing his mom be a mom

I think the consensus is that Ryoko is a major contributing factor for Baji ranking number 1 out of the best boyfriends to have in TokRev

I would venture a guess and say that though Baji was influenced by his mother’s parenting, he knows that she didn’t do a perfect job, as with any parent, and he intends to make up for where she might have stumbled

Now, I’ma keep it trill wit y’all, I ain’t read Letter from Keisuke Baji and don’t know much about it 😭

BUT from what I’ve gathered, we do see more of Baji and his mother’s interactions

I think overall, Baji is a very chill dad

He’s one who never really gave deep thought about the prospect of having kids, but figured that if it happened, it happened

Initially, Keisuke does have some insecurity concerning whether he could be an adequate father or not

But once the time actually arrives, he’s very self assured and confident in his ability to be a great parent

Contrary to popular belief, Keisuke isn’t stupid stupid, he’s just book dumb

He’s got good common sense and reasoning skills, and he’s very well aware that both pregnant women and babies are fragile 

So, he acts accordingly 

Keisuke tries his best to be gentle during your pregnancy and after 

He insists upon doing practically everything for you 

He doesn’t like to dwell on it, but he frets a lot during the whole process

Everything is liable to harm you and your baby and the thought makes him simultaneously furious and so anxious he can at times visibly vibrate from feeling both emotions

You do a fair amount of damage control during and after your pregnancy, even though you’re technically the one meant to be hormonal and sensitive

Keisuke, perhaps surprisingly, doesn’t really cry when you give birth

His eyes more so water really hard but no tears fall

He’s actually really supportive and calm throughout the birthing process (which he insisted on being present for) and once your little bundle of joy has been safely and successfully brought into the world, he’s immediately overtaken with such a sense of happiness and fulfillment and the urge to protect that he’s slightly taken aback

Rather randomly, he looks great in all the hospital pictures taken the day your baby is born 🙃

I could honestly see Keisuke having either a boy or a girl in about equal measure, so I’ll let you decide what the two of you have

Either way, he adores his child

He’s kinda like Mikey, in that he can be firm but also very accommodating with his kid(s)

Is somewhat familiar with Cocomelon and prays your child never has to be 🙃 (mostly for his own sanity)

Bubble Guppies is his stuff though

Coos at your child all the time

Like everytime he sees them he’s just overwhelmed with this desire to make cute noises at them 😂

Would beat anybody up who tried to make fun of him for it though *coughMIKEYcough*

Takes care of the majority of baby related and household duties for quite some time after you’ve given birth

He just wants to be helpful, you’ll let ‘im won’t you? 🥺

He tries not to coddle you though, since he knows you’re not like, bedridden, just recovering

His favorite baby cartoon is probably Paw Patrol and his favorite pup is, perhaps predictably, Chase (though he does also have a soft spot for Zuma) 

MATCHING. OUTFITS. 

Keisuke loves to match outfits with his baby

And like he’s not normally a fashion focused guy, like Mitsuya, but when it comes to coordinating with his little “mini me,” he really goes all out 

Of course, who would Keisuke be if he didn’t let your child(ren) play with his long, luscious locks?

A terrible father, that’s who 😤

I can see Keisuke’s baby or babies all having hair like his, and this makes for some…interesting wash days

Especially if you got temperamental 4C hair, like me

And then combine that with how thick Baji’s hair is too???

Girl, my arms hurt and I’m ti’ed just thinkin’ about it 😂

Luckily, whatever texture your hair is, Baji doesn’t mind being the one to handle wash days, once you’ve shown him the proper hair care techniques

Loves to go on outings and do different activities to engage your little one

Keisuke knows he wasn’t the most academically gifted, so he does everything in his power to make sure that your child is mentally stimulated from a young age to hopefully encourage a greater academic ability 

All that being said, Baji is a superb dad, and he believes wholeheartedly that fatherhood has changed him for the better 🙂

Draken here

[filmbyjy]

BE IN LOVE

PAIRING: park jongseong x fem!reader

SUMMARY: it was quite cheesy that you fell in love with your best friend’s brother. what could you do to prevent it? jay was someone who you knew was out of reach but you couldn’t help but crush on.

WARNINGS: cursing. maybe slight angst (?). other than that, there isn’t much.

WORD COUNT: 3.6K words

taglist[perm]: @ja4hyvn @ahnneyong @milklix @kar0ki @sugarsunoo

a/n: this is a repost of a previous work I did that I loved! well repost from my old account that got deleted but yeah! I have also re-edited it so it’s better to read. I found the previous one a little cringy but idk if its cringy🙃 hope you enjoy it though!

A typical morning spent in your bed. perhaps, a little breakfast in bed because your parents were worried about your bruised eyes. Now, you must be wondering how you obtained this bruised eye?

[last week] It was any normal day at school and any normal day included physical education, or PE for short form. You didn’t particularly enjoy sports, you would rather be cooped up in your room for hours just watching some Netflix or Disney+, but of course, you couldn’t just escape from it since it was a required subject in high school.

“One point for us!” jake yells. Meet jake, the school’s soccer captain and one of the school’s heartthrobs. Right next to him was sunghoon and jay. Sunghoon was the second heartthrob of your school and he played basketball and badminton (on occasions). Finally there was jay, the third heartthrob and also a family friend.

Both of your families were close and you two have played around as kids before. Well i say kids but the only thing both of your parents did was let you play in the crib together and that’s about it. Growing up, the both of you never got to really talk to each other. Both were too shy to do so and plus...you liked to play alone. guess that’s where wanting to stay-in started from. Since then a natural distance came between both you and jay.

“Oh come on, are you really cheating jake?” Mia, your best friend, says.

“And what are you gonna do about it park mia?” jake yells. your dear best friend was also jay’s twin sister. the girl huffs.

“yah, park jongseong! would you care to smack the back of jake’s head?” and so jay does, he smacks the slightly younger boy. jake groans. Whatever Mia wanted, jay would comply because well...he wanted to be the great brother. Mia slings her arm around you.

“Don’t worry (name), jake isn’t going to bother us anymore.” she proudly says.

“WATCH OUT!” you turned around and a dodgeball comes flying onto your face. Your glasses flew across the room and you fell the ground, blacked out. Well at least Mia was right, jake didn’t bother you. rather a ball flew across and hit you.

[current time] Wasn’t a great thing honestly. Your mom popped her head at the door to check up on you. she brings in a plate of fruits for you.

“Here, eat this (name).” you sighed.

“Mom, it’s just a black eye. You’re acting as if i got hit by a car.”

“But sweetie, you’re injured.” she says.

“Mom, i’m fine.”

“Your glasses are broken too, we should get you a new pair.” she points over at your glasses that had shattered on impact.

“can i buy some contact lenses?”

2 years passed by, it was finally the last year of high school. Your class gathered in the classroom to surprise your form teacher, a small gesture to say ‘hey you survived teaching us for 4-5 years of your life. Hope you live well and we will see each other when we do’.

You were in your graduation gown, putting up the balloons. You felt the table shake but you knew you were great at balancing, well you thought before you fell into jay’s arms. Your eyes widened. You quickly got off jay and apologised. Mia smirks, she pulls you away from her twin brother.

“I saw what happened~so you and jay huh.”

you shoved her shoulder, “i don’t like your brother like that. besides, we are strictly just family friends.”

“oh shush, did you know our parents have this bet that you and jay would start dating?” she excitedly says.

“Whatever Mia. I have to go and grab the cake from the front gate, text me when Mr.Smith arrives alright?” Mia nods. While you went out though, Mia walks over to jay.

“Go with (name) now.”

“But-”

“Go and get the girl you’ve been crushing on since we were kids.”

“I don’t have a crush on her.” mia rolls her eyes.

“yeah sure. It’s like saying i don’t have a crush on jake.” mia deadpans.

“You have a crush on jake?” jay tilts his head.

“huh? what? I didn’t hear you.” jay rolls his eyes.

“I will tell mom on you.”

“We aren’t five anymore jay. Just go with (name) and be confident. I’m sure she likes you too!”

“Fine.” jay goes over to where you were. You thanked the person who delivered the cake and went back. Jay walks over to you.

“why are you here?” you say. Jay shrugs and then silence follows after. both you and jay went back to the classroom. where they graduation party really started.

That was the last time you saw the boy before college happened. It had been 3 years since you’ve last seen jay or even Mia. She went to a different department and so you couldn’t always meet up with her since she was extremely busy. It was just about towards the ending of exam season and so plenty of people started planning for parties.

You spot a familiar figure waving for you and so you walked over.

“It’s been too long (name)!” Mia gives you a tight squeeze.

“You’ve changed.” you say. your best friend looked so much more mature. she had made a decision to study business and so she dressed way more sophisticated.

“And so has jay.” she winks. You rolled your eyes.

“Are you seriously still trying to get me and jay together?”

“Has it worked?”

“No, we haven’t seen each other since the last party we held for our high school teacher.”

“What? But jay has to be in your class. You’re both in fashion right?”

“Fashion? I took arts, mia. I told you i had a passion for arts.” she facepalms and groans.

“Is that why jay cut me off. Urgh i’m an idiot.”

you tilt your head, “You haven’t talked to jay in 2 years?”

“Yeah, besides he has his friend group. Oh did you hear? They started a band together.”

“You mean those 3 heartthrobs of Decelis High?”

“Yeah, along with 3 freshmans and a senior.”

“That’s great. What about you and jake?” Mia shows you her ring. Your eyes widened, “He proposed in these 2-3 years we haven’t talked? Why didn’t you even tell me when you two started dating.”

“No, silly. It’s a promise ring. We’ve been dating for 2 years now. Best 2 years ever by the way.”

“Kinda hurt you didn’t tell your best friend about this.” you huffed and folded your arms.

“I’m sorry!” she goes to hug you.

“You had time with your boyfriend but not me. It hurt when you just cut all contacts with me you know.” you pout.

“Sorry (name).” she whines. You giggled. “I’ll buy you tteokbokki. how about that?”

“With cheese?” you say.

“With cheese.”

The both of you made it to a familiar tteokbokki stand, one that you went to everyday after school. You noticed a pretty familiar face. Mia tilts her head and looks over to where you were staring.

“He said he’d be having band practice.” Mia stares at jake. She pulls you over to where the 6 boys were. Then lets go of you before grabbing jake by the ear. “sim jaeyun, didn’t you say you were having band practice?” mia glares at jake.

“ah ah, i’m sorry, babe forgive me. sunghoon suggested to eat at our usual tteokbokki place so we decided to come here but cross my heart, we practiced before coming here.” jake says.

“(name)?” sunghoon says.

“Sunghoon.”

“hyung, who is she?”

“Oh umm, that is (name). (name), this is sunoo, jungwon, ni-ki and heeseung. Our bandmates.”

“Hi.” you waved.

“Where is jay by the way?” Mia asks.

“Bathroom.” Mia nods.

“Well, we shouldn’t disturb all of you. Me and Mia will just go shopping.” you grabbed her arm and quickly left the tteokbokki place. It fell silent between you and her as you walked around the shops.

“Why did you leave? You could’ve seen jay.”

“It’s been a while since we’ve caught up with each other. Come on, let’s go shopping.” you say. Mia could sense you didn’t want to talk about jay so she nods.

It was around 7.30pm when you finished walking around with mia. you decided to get back to your dorm, however as you were arriving, you saw someone familiar. he was walking a girl home. it was jay. He shyly converses with the girl and bid her goodbye. You mustered up the courage and quickly walked past them. The girl walks in first and you silently prayed that jay wouldn’t notice it was you.

“(name).” well...your hope was now crushed. You slowly turned to face jay.

“Jay. a little surprised to see you here.” you gave him the most sincere fake smile you could, “Why are you here?”

“Oh..just sending a close friend of mine to the dorms since it was quite late.”

“Oh. that’s nice of you. She must be a really great friend.” jay blushes slightly.

“a-ah no. We just talk a little.” it hurts to see jay so flustered by a girl. the younger you would’ve cried. You giggled.

“Someone has a crush on her. Well i’ll get going, see you.” you quickly left before jay could say anything. You were heartbroken. You went back to your dorm. Seems like your roommate just arrived too.

“where did you go?” you asked her. She was in a daze, clearly happy something happened to her.

“The fashion heartthrob walked me home today.” she says. You froze, was that girl your roommate?

“Which heartthrob? Our school has a bunch.” you nonchalantly say as you placed your shoes onto the shelves. it was true, your department and practically the whole school had a bunch of heartthrobs.

“jay. God, he’s so good looking. You think he likes me? He was so flustered while talking to me.” she says. You remembered asking him just now. He did look flustered and kinda happy when talking to her.

“Yeah maybe.” your roommate jumps in happiness.

“eekkk, i’m so happy!! I should get some beauty rest to see him tomorrow!”

“Yeah you should.” you say. Your roommate runs to her room and shuts the door. Your phone vibrates. A text from Mia, she asked if you wanted to call so you replied to her with a simple okay. you picked up the call.

“Hey, got to your dorms safely?” mia asks. you shut your bedroom door and placed your purse down on the table.

“Yeah.”

“Great but why do you sound so defeated?”

you sighed, “Do you think jay still likes me?”

“Of course. Even if it has been years. Jay will still look for you. Why?” you fiddled with your little songwriting book you’ve kept since you were 15. the pages were almost filled with inspirations and lyrics.

“i saw him walking a girl home and that girl is my roommate.”

“what? Oh he will get it.” mia says. you could imagine her holding up her fist.

“No, don’t. He will know i told you because i was the only one that knows about it.” you cracked open the book and began writing some lyrics for fun.

“Are you doubting yourself?” mia asks. you paused. did you doubt yourself? absolutely. jay was someone who was out of reach.

“I mean...he can date whoever he wants. I have no control over him. it’s not like i’m his girlfriend.” you quickly continue to scribble.

“(name), listen to me.”

“Go ahead.”

“We will dress up and meet the band tomorrow.” you dropped the pen.

“What?”

“We have to and besides jay blocked me from everything. i just wanna have a word with him.”

“Mia-”

“Whoops sorry, i have to go. Jake is calling me.” mia ends the call. You breathed in. you had to prepare to meet him again tomorrow.

The next day, mia tells you to get ready by 1pm and so you do. You put on a simple short black dress and threw over a leather jacket. to finalise the look, you wore a necklace. maybe this was a little extra but hey who said you couldn’t dress up.

“My god, what special occasion are you going to?” mia says upon seeing you walk out of the door. you rolled your eyes.

“is it wrong to dress up?” you say. Mia smiles.

“oh no, it isn’t wrong but jay would sooo drool over this. maybe if jay didn’t like you, you could go for someone else. like me perhaps.” mia winks. you laughed and smacked her arm.

both you and mia arrived at where the band frequently practices. The school provided a studio for them and they were elated. Their band played at school related shows and once at a prom. They were pretty known in the school. which surprised you since you’ve never seen them before. i mean, you never really go to school events anyways.

“baby!” jake runs up to mia. They hugged, you smiled at them. they were adorable. way different to how they were back then but you knew along the way that mia just liked jake.

“Okay the younger boys and heeseung have met (name) but yeah. She’s here today.” mia says. you waved.

“Your aura seems different today. Do you have a date later on or something?” sunghoon says as he nudges you. You giggled.

“very funny hoon, unfortunately, i am not going out for one.”

“maybe i could take you out to one later on then.” he smirks. you playfully rolled your eyes at sunghoon’s words.

“shut up.”

“then who did you dress up for noona?” sunoo says.

“yeah, for who?” sunghoon smirks, “is it possibly me?”

“In your dreams. I dressed up for myself.” your eyes met with jay’s, he was definitely checking you out and so you shyly looked away.

“hey (name), i just remembered when you showed me a music piece that you wrote in high school.” jake says. You blushed.

“jake, what do you mean? i never showed you anything.” the boys were interested.

“You’re lying. Mia knows about it too.” she nods agreeing with her boyfriend.

“Don’t tell me you still have it.” you say. jake smirks. He pulls out a book, it was your old lyric book that you had for fun since you had a lot of fun writing it. you swore you lost it so why does jake have it?

“Shall we try singing it, miss singer?” jake says.

“what? I can’t sing, jake.” he turns over to mia.

“Don’t hide that beautiful voice of yours, (name).” she comes up to you and whispers, “besides, don’t you want to impress jay so he wouldn’t be swayed by your roommate?” you breathed in. you really haven’t sang in a while and you didn’t want to do it. however, with everyone’s eyes on you…you couldn’t let them down.

“Fine.” you say. jake claps his hands. He grabs his guitar and starts the chords for the chorus since you only wrote for the chorus and then gave up. it was honestly impressive that you came up with guitar chords to go with the chorus you wrote.

You took a deep breath. you were a little nervous but you closed your eyes and pretended no one was there. it was as if you were singing in your bedroom alone.

Be in love, we know

Heart to heart, you feel it too, right?

Hey love, hey love, please wait for a while

We can be together

Say bye-bye to boring days

Feel our energy

Hey love, hey love, baby just stay in love, love

You stopped right there and when you opened your eyes, you instantly met with jay staring at you. You shyly looked away.

“Wahhh noona, that was great. You should’ve join music production or something.” sunoo says.

“I’m not that great. I just made these lyrics up because i had a crus-” you covered your mouth. great you just revealed the one thing you didn’t want the boys to know about.

“You had a crush? Why didn’t we know about this?” sunghoon says. You looked down at your hands.

“Because it’s not important. It’s just a crush. It wasn’t like i dated him or something.”

“Exactly but crushes are equally important as a boyfriend. So miss (name), are you going to spill the tea or not?” sunghoon says. You looked over at jay, he seemed like he wasn’t upset or anything.

“i-i’m not telling!” you say.

“then if she won’t say it...I WILL! IT’S-” you covered jake’s mouth.

“hehe, well i guess it’s a mystery. Well i have to go now, bye!” you grabbed your bag and left. Mia gives jake one look before running off to find you. Jake grabs his phone when he notices it’s ringing, he answers it and places it in speaker mode.

“(name)! Where are you going?”

“hiding in my room! I can’t believe i blurted that out loud in front of jay!”

“Oh come on, (name). It’s not bad.” you stopped and looked at mia.

“Not bad? that song was literally crafted for him because my teen heart loved him so much. If he found out then i’m fucked. I was stupid. he already has a crush on someone else now. what’s the use?” you confessed. Jake looks up at jay, a blush dusting the older boy’s cheeks.

Mia shows her phone and places it in speaker mode.

“Jay, you heard that? Also unblock me, you idiot.” mia says.

“u-umm can you pass the phone to (name).” jay says. your eyes widened. oh hell nah, he heard everything you just said. mia and her devious plans.

“Mia…” you glared at her.

“Talk to him.” she says handing you her phone after turning off the speaker mode. Jay found a place to quietly talk to you, preferably away from the other boys.

“Hey. jay says.

“Hi.”

“Let’s just get to the point. That song was for me?”

“Yes.” your heart was beating 10 times faster.

“So you liked me.”

“Would it be bad if i still like you up till now and i’ve been waiting for you?” you say.

“Meet me outside your dorm at 6pm.” jay says.

“Uh, sure.”

“I’ll tell mia to send my phone number after i unblock her.” you snort.

“Can’t believe you blocked her because she thought i took fashion.”

“Trust me, i was really mad when i couldn’t find you anywhere in the fashion department.”

“Well see you later.” you say.

“See you.” the call ends. You hand mia her phone back.

“Oh he just unblocked me and he asked me to send you his number...wait what happened during the call.”

“Not telling you.” you stick your tongue out.

Later at 6pm, you came downstairs in a hoodie and sweatpants because honestly, it was too comfy. Jay was waiting for you and you sneaked up on him and scared him. He flinches.

“Oh my god, it was just you.” you smiled.

“So why did you want to meet me here?” you asked.

“Well, i wanted to invite you to a party.”

“A party? Couldn’t you have texted me.”

“Umm...i’m inviting you as my date.” your eyes widened, “you don’t have to accept it. umm, if you don’t want to come to the party-”

“Jay?”

“Yeah?”

“I’ll come.” you flashed him a smile. He shyly smiles. Before you left to get back to your dorm, you gave jay a peck on the cheek and then ran off quickly. Jay holds the side where you kissed him at, a wide grin forming. Jay texts you the details of the party.

Friday comes in, the day of the party. Jay comes to pick you up. You opened the door and there stood jay. He snuck up to the dorm apartment place just to meet you at the door. You were wearing a similar black dress that hugged your body even more perfectly than the previous one. Jay smiles.

“You look great.”

“Thank you, you too.” jay drives you over to the party. It was a huge party, almost every popular clique was here and they all were in their own fun world. Dancing, drinking alcohol and probably making out. Jay drags you to where his friends were.

“Oh hey, you two came together.” sunghoon says. Mia eyes you up and down.

“Isn’t that the dress i bought for you only specifically when you and jay are dati-WAIT (name)....” you shyly look over to jay and he wraps his arms around your waist protectively.

“Me and (name) are dating.” mia gasps.

“You didn’t ask me.” you whisper to jay.

“Well both you and i know, we have mutual feelings for each other so you’re my girlfriend now.” you hide your face at the crook of jay’s neck. he runs his hands down your back to pat you.

“AYYYYY (name), can’t believe you and jay are finally together.” jake says. Jay could hear you whine softly. He chuckles.

“Alright, she’s shy. Let’s not tease her.” jay says.

“Don’t makeout in front of us alright.” mia says.

“You and jake should take your own advice.” heeseung says. Jake blushes.

[epilogue]

It was still summer holiday so both you and jay went back home to visit your parents and well…

“I always knew you two would get together. A match made in heaven.” your mom says.

“mom~” you whined.

“jongseong-ah, where is your sister?”

“At jake’s house.”

“Oh my, are they dating? I knew something would spark between them, they used to hate each other and now look at them. Mia didn’t even tell me about both of them.” Jay’s mom says. Your mom settles the both of you down on the couch.

“so…(name), jay. When are the both of you planning to get married?” your mom asks.

“MOM!” jay on the other hand was blushing hard.

[stillfrownyclownlol]

Lgbtqia+ hcs because I don't know if I'm gonna make it till June lmao (or, if I'm gonna live after it since I'm planning on wearing my flags In public 🤡)

Tw for csa mentions (because why don't I keep projecting huh)

Ashlyn Banner

-She/Her but in a "never thought about pronouns her entire life" kinda way. Doesn't mind they/them. She likes dressing masc/feeling masc, but doesn't really like being "perceived" as masc. Like...masc on her own time lmao. (I'm projecting so hard rn). "Gender neutral" kinda- like agender- but like in a "I don't care about my gender at all I just am more used to the gender they assigned me at birth"

-Demi rose 🌹 I'm also projecting here. Takes her a while to come into her feelings, but maybe that's the "never had friends ever" coming through.

Aiden Clark

-he/him but like he won't care if you use smth else for him lol. Cis gnc kinda guy eyyyyy (better in heels than ashlyn)

-unlabeled and that's how he likes it, nobody's business who he likes kissing lol. I feel like he's kissed a guy before just to try it. On the aro-allo spectrum ngl.

Ben Clark

-He/Him, is fine with They/Them. Honestly likes getting called She/Her too but she's been pretty shy about mentioning it :") Taylor likes doing her makeup if they're having a "femme-day". Settled on genderfluid/genderflux after a while.

-Greyromantic Caedsexual (Ace). Shane was part of a group of slightly older kids, and when he was getting bullied Shane and some other kids sexually assaulted him multiple times...technically was a queer assault since Ben was seen as a sissy because his personality and hobbies were "feminine", and this was to goad him into having a physical reaction :/

Taylor Hernández

(Ngl I'm so annoyed there's not more colors but whatever)

-She/Her and They/Them, identified as cis for a long time since it was what they knew, but once she learned more about it she experimented with her gender a lot more, they identified as non-binary for a while before moving to paragirl.

-Pan to aro/ace pipeline because I'm projecting :) she didn't really handle it well at the beginning, but Ben, Ash and Aiden are all also a-spec so she had a lot of support ^_^ They felt "invalid" because of the csa they went through when they were younger and they thought it was more like a trauma response than their actual sexuality. After talking with Ben about it tho she understood that even if they were related that didn't make her any less valid.

Tyler Hernández

-He/Him cis guy I'm sorry/lh

-was kinda annoying about queer people because actually being raised as a Catholic Mexican boy makes you kinda weird (IM SORRY THIS IS JUST FROM PERSONAL EXPERIENCE) BUT he gets better I promise

-Bisexual boyfailure and took him crushing on Logan to accept it 🤡

Logan Fields

-He/Him and a bit of a stickler about it because he gets misgendered rather frequently (less as he got older but still), doesn't mind getting called gendered terms tho (Taylor calls him "sis", and he calls himself an "Astrology girl")

-intersex, found out when he was 15ish since his puberty had been delayed, and he's really insecure about it...🙃 he was assigned male at birth so he wouldn't say he's trans, but his experiences overlap a fair bit. Takes testorone and medication because he has low electrolytes. I could write a whole essay here but I have to go soon 😭

-Gay :> He realized pretty quickly but he's intensely scared of people finding out, has only told his grandparents. They took it very well ^_^ His grandpa has some gay friends so sometimes Logan goes to the senior center to talk with them about stuff :)

[meowzfordayz]

conversations

Author’s Note: silly and sweet (and mildly sarcastic) convos. 😆🥰

conversations

Hashira x Reader, Tokito Muichiro x Reader, Kamaboko x Reader

Word Count: ~2,000

CW: explicit language

~faqs~

These are just lil convos I imagine occurring between various characters and Reader. 💞

In specific regards to Shinobu’s convo: she isn’t policing Reader’s diet!!!!! Hers is predominantly inspired by my own sweet tooth 😋, and how I often tell my irl bf to not let me buy candy when we go grocery shopping (similar to reminding myself that I don’t need x, y, or z when I’m window shopping; I’d spend way too much $ otherwise 😂🥴).

+ I wasn’t sure how to format this fanfic (I recognize the Character: | Reader: format gets repetitive) since I couldn’t rely on italics/bold bc I also use them to provide emphasis in the convos themselves, so pls and ty bear w/ me! 🤓

in the dining room; eating lunch

Zenitsu: You forgot to cut the crust off my sandwich. 😕

You: 🤨

Zenitsu: Are you mad at me? 🙁

Zenitsu: I’m sorry! ☹️

Zenitsu: I love you!!!!! 😭

You: Baby, Zenitsu, honey! I’m not mad at you! 

Zenitsu: But the crust… 😔

You: Are you kidding me? 😐

Zenitsu: … no? 🥲

You: Would you like me to cut off the crust? 🙃

Zenitsu: YES! 😍

You: 🫥

Zenitsu: Please? 🥹

You: I love you more than I should. 🙄

Zenitsu: WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN? 😥😖

You: You’re actually the most dramatic person I know. 😃

Zenitsu: I have feelings! 😭 I am a sensitive man! 😭

You: I know, I know. 🫠 I love you. 🥰

Zenitsu: As much as you should? 🧐

You: As much as I should. 😁

Zenitsu: I love you. 🩷

You: I love you too. 🩷🩷

Zenitsu: I love you too, too. 🩷🩷🩷

You: I love you too times three. 🩷🩷🩷🩷

Zenitsu: That’s cheating. 😒

You: I’m not saying “too” three times. 

Zenitsu: You’re gonna have to say it fives times after I say I love you too, too, too, too. 🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷

You: 😵

Zenitsu: 😭😭😭

getting dressed for the day; summertime

Inosuke: Let’s get a pet squirrel. 😁 

You: Let’s not. 🙃

Inosuke: You’re so boring. 😒

You: You’re so obnoxious. 😌

Inosuke: At least I’m fun! 😎

You: Sure, darling, let’s get a pet squirrel. 😃

Inosuke: REALLY?! 😱🤯🥳🥳🥳

You: Inosuke, squirrels aren’t pets!!!!!

Inosuke: But they could be… 🥹

You: N. O. No. 

Inosuke: I’ll pay for everything and take care of it.

You: I already do that. 🤗

Inosuke: 🤔

You: 😶

Inosuke: Did you just call me a squirrel?

You: Mhmmm. 🐿️

Inosuke: I wish I could climb trees like them. 💔😭

You: Do you really want a pet squirrel?

Inosuke: I guess not, but could we go to the park and look at ‘em? ☺️

You: We can do that. ☺️

Inosuke: Do you want a pet? 

You: Are we ready for that?

Inosuke: Babe, we’re ready for anything.

You:

Inosuke: I mean it. I love you.

You: I love you too, Inosuke. I love you too.

in bed; a sunny Sunday morning

You: Hey love?

Gyomei: Hey what?

You: Would you love me more if I was a cat? 😻

Gyomei: 🤨

You: 👀

Gyomei: Of course not.

You: Sooo you would love me less? 😒

Gyomei: You’re putting words in my mouth. 

You: So if an evil witch turned me into a cat, you would love me less. 😒

Gyomei: When did I ever say that?

You: You admit it! 😭

Gyomei: ?????

You: Meow meow. 🥺😔😖

Gyomei: I would love you more! 😁💖

You: YOU WOULD LOVE ME MORE IF I WAS A CAT? Fine, Gyomei. I’ll just go find a cat to replace me, Himejima-loves-cats-more-than-me-Gyomei. 😭😭😭😭😭

Gyomei: ??????????

in the kitchen; cooking dinner

You: Kaburamura needs a hat. 🤗

Obanai: No.

You: How about sunscreen? 🥺

Obanai: His face is perfectly fine in the sun.

You: But his pretty scales…

Obanai: You want to buy him a hat. 🤨

You: Correction, I want to make him a hat. A snake hat.

Obanai: A condom for his head.😐

You: You said it, not me.

Obanai: Kaburamura does not need a condom.

You: 🙃

Obanai: 😐

You: Pleeeease???! ☹️

Obanai: Whatever. Just don’t come crying when it immediately falls off.

You: I’ll tape it to him. 😌

Obanai: YOU WOULDN’T.

You: With… Snake-t, tape. 😏

Obanai: 😬

You: Y’know, Duck-t tape, but Snake-t ta-

Obanai: Just stop.

walking outside; a brisk spring day

Tanjirou: You’re so beautiful. 🥰

You: You’re so cheesy.

Tanjirou: You love cheese! 😋

You: I do. I love you a lot. 🥰

Tanjirou: Ooh, now who’s being cheesy?! 😉

You: I’m getting cold. 🥶

Tanjirou: You’re wearing three layers???

You: I can still get cold with three layers on. ☹️

Tanjirou: Do you want my jacket? 😁

You: It might not fit over my three layers.

Tanjirou: How about you swap me your thinnest layer for my jacket?

You: Tanjirou, I can’t just take off my t-shirt, right here, right now. 🤨

Tanjirou: But you’re so beautiful. 😌

You: That’s so far from the point.

Tanjirou: Piggyback ride? I can get us home faster. 😎

You: Is that a challenge? 🧐

Tanjirou: You want to race home instead? 👀

You: Nah. 💀

Tanjirou: Piggyback? 🤗

You: I bet you can’t carry me all the way back.

Tanjirou: Was that a challenge? 😏

You: You’re gonna be cooking dinner tonight. 😃

Tanjirou: I cook dinner most nights? 🙃

You: Again, so not the point. 😒

Tanjirou: That’s it. You’re shivering. All aboard the Tanjirou Train! 🥰

You: You’re so silly. 🥹

Tanjirou: There’s nobody around. 🥰

You: You’re still silly. 💞

gazing at the stars through a mesh ceiling; camping

You: It’s late. 🥱

Mitsuri: But I want to stay up forever with you. 🥺

You: That doesn’t sound too healthy. 😅

Mitsuri: Let me be cute. 🥺

You: You’re the cutest. 🥰

Mitsuri: Thank you for going camping with me.

You: Thank you for setting everything up.

Mitsuri: Thank you for getting all the bug bites for me. 🤭

You: You should thank me again 😒, they’re so itchy. 😭

Mitsuri: Thank you times a billion! 🤪💖

You: I love you. 

Mitsuri: I love you more.

You: Most.

Mitsuri: You see those stars? 🌌

You: There’s a bunch.

Mitsuri: More than a bunch.

You: Definitely.

Mitsuri: That’s how much I love you. 💙

You: More than a bunch? 

Mitsuri: I love you more than a bunch. 💙💙

You: A bunch of stars. 🥹

Mitsuri: Is what I see when I look at you.

You: We’re delirious. 🥴

Mitsuri: Deliriously in love.

You: I think the sky is getting brighter. 🫣

Mitsuri: We should get some sleep.

You: I was trying to say that ten seconds ago.

Mitsuri: Let me take care of you. 🥺

You: Kanroji Mitsuri, I’ll let you do anything.

Mitsuri: You mean it?

You: I mean it. You’re the meaning.

Mitsuri: I feel like that was supposed to be super romantic, but I’m too tired to understand anything right now. 🤗

You: Same.

Mitsuri: For what it’s worth, you’re also the meaning. 💞

You: We are, The Meaning.

Mitsuri: The Meaning. 😃

You: Oh jeez, we really need to sleep. 😵‍💫

Mitsuri: C’mere, scoot your sleeping bag closer. Sleepy times! 😴💘

searching for pancakes ingredients; a cloudy Saturday

You: We’re out of milk. 😞

Shinobu: So make something else? 

You: You won’t go to the store with me? 🥺

Shinobu: With you? 🧐

You: I mean, I wasn’t going to make you fetch my milk alone. 😃

Shinobu: Surprising. 🙃

You: Hmpf. 😒

Shinobu: I would’ve done it. ☺️

You: Shinooobu, my loveliest love, could you go buy some milk for me? 🤗

Shinobu: You won’t go to the store with me? 🙃😉

You: Using my own words against me. ☹️

Shinobu: Absolutely. 😈

You: Are we going to go buy milk or not? 

Shinobu: Or not.

You: Shinobu! 😭

Shinobu: I retract my previous statement. 😅 Let’s go buy milk.

You: Yay! 😍🥳🥳🥳

Shinobu: Do we need anything else?

You: Sugar. 😋

Shinobu: Actually? 🤨

You: We always need sugar. 😋😋

Shinobu: Incorrect.

You: Booooo. 😭😭😭

Shinobu: You’re about to make pancakes. You don’t need candy too.

You: But-

Shinobu: There’s ice cream in the fridge. 🍦

You: WAIT. 😳

Shinobu: ???

You: Ice cream equals dairy equals if we melt it then we could use it as milk?! 🫨🤯

Shinobu: 🤔

You: 😶 Shinobu: I don’t think that’s quite right. 🤓

You: Wanna try?! 🧫🧪

Shinobu: … how about you stay here and try while I go out and buy the real deal. 😌

You: Okay! 😁

cuddling on the couch; a cozy winter evening

You: Would you love me if I farted?

Kyojuro: You fart all the time.

You: 😒

Kyojuro: And I obviously love you. ☺️

You: Good.

Kyojuro: What kind of man would I be if I did not love farting?

You: 😶

Kyojuro: Wait-

Kyojuro: That came out-

Kyojuro: You know what I meant. 😖

You: I love you so much. 😂💘

Kyojuro: I fart too. 🤗

You: I’m aware.

Kyojuro: What if I farted and blamed it on you? 👀

You: I would love you a little less. 

Kyojuro: Truly?

You: 🙃

Kyojuro: 😔

You: You would do that to me?! 😭

Kyojuro: … no! 🥴😃

in the bathroom; getting ready for bed

You: I have a headache. 🥺

Sanemi: You always have a headache.

You: Yeah, ‘cause I have you. 🤭 Ooh, burrrn, tssst. 🔥

Sanemi: 🙄

You: 😎

Sanemi: You’re the worst.

You: Says the worstest. 😉

Sanemi: Are you finished insulting me? 😒

You: Not even close. 😇

Sanemi: Well I’m finished being insulted. 🙃

You: Aww, is someone feeling… sul-ty? 🧂

Sanemi: 😃

Sanemi: Yes. 😐 Sul-tier than the sea. 😐

You: I love you! 🥰

Sanemi: I love you too.

You: Hehehe. 😌

Sanemi: Nobody actually says “hehehe”. 🤓

You: You’re stupid.

Sanemi: ???

You: Because I literally just said, hehehe. 😝

Sanemi: Go away. 😭

You: No.😁

Sanemi: Shoo. 

You: I refuse. 😁

Sanemi: 😭

You: 😁

Sanemi: You’re the worst-er-est. 😑

lying side by side on the bedroom rug; a lazy afternoon

You: We should go swimming. 🌊

Giyuu: It’s snowing outside. 🙃

You: We should go swimming! 🌊🌊

Giyuu: The nearest body of water isn’t within walking distance. 🤨

You: We should drive somewhere to go swimming! 🌊🌊🌊

Giyuu: You’ll freeze to death. 😔

You: We can bring hot rocks and heat the water first! 😁

Giyuu: Where are we getting the rocks from, and how are we getting them hot? 

You: The basement! 🤓

Giyuu: Furthermore, how will we transport rocks that are apparently hot enough to heat a body of water large enough for swimming without burning ourselves and our car? 🤔

You: With lots of love. 🥰

Giyuu: What do you actually want to do? 🙃

You: Go swimming? 🥺

Giyuu: … would you like me to prepare a bath for us? 

You: 👀

Giyuu: 👀

You: Sure! 😍 That’s a great idea. 🥳 Thanks babe! 

Giyuu: You’re so weird. 🥲

You: I looove yoouuu. 😘❤️

Giyuu: I love you too. 🥹

lounging around the living room; deciding on a movie to watch

Tengen: Fuck you. 😌

You: No, fuck you. 😒

Makio: Fuck you both. 🥴

Hina: Already have. 😎

Makio: ... you win. 🙃

Suma: Do I win too? 🥺

You: Sure. ☺️

Tengen: We’re all winners. 😃

Hina: I mean, technically, yes, but that isn’t the point. 😐

Tengen: Fuck. You. Too. 😞

Suma: I’m a winner! 🥰

You: Let’s pick something before Hina falls asleep. 🤭

Hina: Please. 😭

Makio: You always miss the middle. 😆

Hina: And then Suma wakes me up for the end with her snoring. 😴

Suma: Heyyyyy! ☹️

Tengen: I believe it was my turn to choose? 😎

You, Hina, Makio, and Suma: NO.

[not-goldy]

The more people bitch about Jikook, the stronger and closer they get. Its like seeing your kid date someone you don't like. The more you bitch and moan, the more they develop this us against the world mentality and before you know it, they're eloping. It really doesn't cost a thing to be respectful of their bond. If you were, we wouldn't be here every year hearing the same tired old fanservice excuse. Like are you bitches blind? Tae told you Jk was basically living in Jimin's room. Jimin is telling you that and you see it. They are together eating, chilling, staying for rehearsals, together in their bedrooms, off camera, on camera, in their cars, up each other's asses all day and you wonder why your favs aren't being shown. Cause they aren't hanging out like you think, that's why. Like how do you expect Jk to squeeze in five minutes for your fav, when he's up Jimin's ass and marking is territory in his room all day? Like he ain't even on facetime with whatever partner outside of BTS you have him paired with either and making room for her or him. How can they have room, when its all occupied by Jimin? This isn't about shipping. Its about two people who MUTUALLY AGREE to spend all their time together and you wanna cry. Instead of sucking it up and just being happy they have each other.

And Jikookers were called crazy when we said the reason Tk were hanging out was because Jimin was busy like hell and Jennie was touring. Now that Jimin's schedule isn't so hectic. Where is JK now at this very moment and who has he been pinning for and with now vacationing for months? Jimin. Going around telling lies that your favs are the closest, cause they occasionally hang out like once a month. Jk told you from his own mouth, I don't keep up with Tae, when asked where Tae was and that was like 4 months ago. He loves Tae. He enjoys hanging out with him and his friends. No one can say he doesn't. But if given the choice, he's gonna wanna be with the one he's attracted to and THE ONE HE IS IN LOVE WITH and the one who can give him what he needs if you catch my drift and that is Jimin. Get a clue already.

It's the ow ah eiish they feeling in their chest for me

But it's also the way I don't care bout much these days 😂only God knows.

Jikook is real. In this day and age no one can convince me otherwise. Whatever anyone says and does it goes right above my ear like a lost air plane 🙃

Tuktukkers are senseless

Anti's have lost the plot

Doubters are just dumb and corny

Anyone who thinks they know anything bout Jikook post solo is playing themselves for fools we ain't know shit. We've been made. Jikook made us out. They pulling the strings like the masters of chaos they are.

Some said I drink too much these days- you ain't shit.

If I come for!!! No! Like fr IF I COME FOR YOU!

[millenialfanfictionaddiction]

Welcome to Jujutsu High:

Teaching Assistant YN

Various JJK characters including Satoru Gojo, Yuji Itadori, Megumi Fushiguro, Nobara Kugisaki, Sukuna, Kento Nanami, etc. x Female! Reader (she/her pronouns)

Warnings: swearing, Gojo abandoning the youths, death mentioned

A/N: just me, switching it up to JJK 🙃 ignoring all my responsibilities and problems 😀

Congrats YN, you’ve been accepted to Tokyo’s Jujutsu High as a teaching assistant for this upcoming year!

You couldn’t be more excited for this new opportunity

You worked your butt off to get where you are and we have nothing but respect for you 🥰

You use cursed tools to help aid your already sharp ability to see curses

And now, you’re going to help train the brightest and strongest upcoming sorcerers

Wait- did I say brightest? Yeah maybe I should have held off on that one-

Anyways, it’s the first day and you are excited to see which teacher you will be paired up with

As you approach the list in the teachers lounge, someone comes up to you

“Hey are you Yn?”

You 👉🏻 yep that’s me 😁

Them 👉🏻 *laying their hand on your shoulder, head hanging low*

“I’m so sorry, thoughts and prayers to you during this difficult time,” they say before sighing and walking away

You 👉🏻 👁️👄👁️ huh-

You silently approach the board as you now see swarms of people watching you

You find your name, tracing it across the board to see your assigned class

You 👉🏻😐 shit…

Too bad you have no time to let the fact sink in because the lead teacher of your class bursts through the door at that very moment

“Ahhh there is my bright teachers assistant,” Satoru Gojo says

You 👉🏻 *quickly double and triple checking your name, possibly pulling our your birth certificate to make sure that you, in fact, are Yn*

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” you say as Gojo frolics to your side

Gojo on his way to greet you 👇🏻

“Awe my precious YN aren’t you so lucky to get to work with me,” Gojo 😍

You 👉🏻 sooooo lucky 😐

“It’s going to be so much fun!! But first I’m off for some business so I’ll entrust the education of our young students to you my darling YN,” Gojo says before walking away

“The hell you will! Get back here right now!” You say chasing after him

Too bad he’s like the bestest sorcerer YN

“You have got to be kidding me,” you say as Ijichi approaches

“Hello Yn, I was instructed to take you to the students,” he says as you roll your eyes

“Alright let’s get this over with,” you say, following him

When you arrive, you see three very different teens standing in front of you

One you already know as Megumi

The other two, well…

“I can’t believe Gojo just up and abandoned us again!” The girl known as Nobara shouts

“Honestly, this has to be against the law right? Just to leave children alone without an adult??” The pink haired vessel of Sukuna, Itadori, shouts

“Gojo has important things to do and we can handle ourselves,” Megumi interrupts

“Not entirely sure ‘important things’ is the right word but he definitely has things to do,” you say walking up to the trio, “but that’s why I’m here! I’m YN, a grade 1 sorcerer and your new teachers assistant.”

The reactions are mixed

Megumi 👉🏻😐😒 whatever-

Nobara 👉🏻 🤨😑

Itadori 👉🏻😍🥹🕺🏼🤸‍♀️

Alrighty then…

Well let’s get on with it

You spend a lot of your time training the teens to be excellent sorcerers, trying your best to support them in their own ways

Honestly Nobara and Megumi don’t really need much

And Yuji, well Yuji needs emotional support YN

I mean, being Sukuna’s Vessel is very taxing

Plus, he like kinda died so there’s that 😅

So you often spend tome reassuring your student and helping him to adapt to his roll

“Yuji you are so strong for taking this on, I mean not everyone would willingly swallow a thousand year old cursed finger,” you grimace 😬

“Don’t know if that makes me strong or stupid Yn…” Yuji says when an annoying, agitating voice sounds

“Hey brat! You should feel honored to be my vessel and as soon as I manage to take over this body, I’m going to take over the world!” Sukuna laughs as you glare

“Yuji will not allow that and neither will I,” you say

“Well well well and who do we have here,” Sukuna says, smirking out of Yuji’s left cheek, “you, my dear, are absolutely stunning.”

“Sukuna knock it off! YN is my teacher!” Yuji says as you glare at the one eye of Sukuna

“So? What is she to me? I mean besides a potential mate,” he chuckles as you hand goes up, slapping Sukuna

He goes flying as soon as your hand connects with his cheek

Unfortunately Sukuna is in Yuji’s Body… so like…

“OH MY GOD YUJI IM SO SORRY!” You say, helping Yuji off the floor

“Oh it’s no problem Yn!” Yuji says :D

Seriously freaking Himbo energy I can’t 🥹

When our lord and savior, Nanami, shows up to help Yuji with his training, you drool welcome him with open arms

“Hello Yn, always a pleasure,” Nanami say

You 👉🏻🥵🥵🥵

Too bad Yuji is there-

“YN are you drooling?” Yuji asks as you quickly punch him in the face sending him flying

“Oh sorry Yuji, I thought you were Sukuna again…” you 😒

Honestly when Yuji is gone, it’s a little easier to maintain the children

Megumi and Nobara are training for the Kyoto Sister-School Goodwill event with the 2nd years and you finally have some time to chill out

Too bad that doesn’t last long 😃

Because Megumi and Nobara don’t know Yuji is alive and Gojo thinks it would be a great idea to just surprise everyone at the event

“Umm Gojo I really don’t think springing the kids once dead now suddenly alive friend on them right before a major event is a good idea,” you being the practical the caring instructor

“It’s gonna be fine Yn seriously everyone is going to be so happy!” Gojo exclaims 🤩

I mean, happy is one word to describe it I guess…

You stand with the students and await the long overdue arrive of Gojo

“YN, can’t you just take over as leader,” Maki asks

“Salmon,” Inumaki adds

“I get what you guys are saying but unfortunately Gojo is still going to be your teams main leader,” you say as everyone sighs

Suddenly you see Gojo, frolicking up to you and pushing a large crate

“Oh sweet Jesus,” you think to yourself, knowing exactly what is about to happen

And spoiler alert, ever the Sagittarian he is, Gojo presents their long dead friend, Yuji Itadori

Megumi and Nobara 👇🏻

You 👉🏻 😐🙄

Once the shock has worn off the event can finally start

You retreat to watch the event with the teachers when disaster strikes

You race towards the kids, seeing a vail being placed as you manage to quickly slide under it before it’s complete

“AND SHES SAFE!” Gojo shouts as you roll your eyes and run towards the students

“Seriously Gojo? You wanna joke now!” Utahime says as she stops outside the barrier

“I trust Yn with my life, she will keep the students safe,” Gojo says as you run to find the students

When you encounter the curse known as Hanami you immediately recognize it as an unregistered curse

“Crap this isn’t good!” You say as you run to get the kids

“Yuji, Todo get the hell out of here!” You shout as you try you best to not engage

“Oh hey Yn Sensai!” Yuji shouts :D

“It’s fine YN Sensai we’ve got this right brother?” Todo shouts as you feel the barrier begin to break and see someone above the trees

You 👉🏻 🤨

“Is that-” Yuji asks as you roll your eyes

“Never fear students, your incredible sensai is here to rescue you!” Gojo shouts as his eyes shimmer, an unknown force shaking the ground

You 👉🏻 😐 a little late don’t you think?

You watch as the curse flees, probably the idea of facing Gojo more than they could handle

“Are you all ok?” You ask as the boys nod

“YN Sensai, how come we never get to see you fight?” Yuji asks as you smile

“It’s probably because I’m too busy dealing with Gojo,” you laugh

Facts YN, facts