#or well it's gorgeous because it's paul but the quality…..

[httpiastri]

paul in the interview on his story 🥹 biggest pookie ever and,,,,,, i maybe wanna kiss his cheeks also but just a little, definitely not in a weird way

i present to you, paul aron: king of being the cutest man in the world while also being insanely handsome

[hotvintagepoll]

Propaganda

María Félix (Doña Barbara, La Mujer sin Alma, Rio Escondido, La Cucaracha)—Maria Felix is still possibly the most well-known Mexican film actress. She turned down multiple-roles in Hollywood and a contract with Metro-Goldwyn-Meyer in order to take roles in Mexico, France, and Argentine throughout the 1940s, 50s, 60s. She was so famous and so respected as a dramatic actress that she inspired painters, novelists and poets in their own art--she was painted by Diego Rivera, Jose Orozco, Bridget Tichenor. The novelist Carlos Fuentes used her as inspiration for his protagonist in Zona Sagrada. She inspired an entire collection by Hermes. In the late 1960s Cartier made her a custom collection of reptile themed jewels. She considered herself to be powerful challenger of morality and femininity in Mexico & worldwide--she routinely played powerful women in roles with challenging moral choices and free sexuality. But even still, years after he death, she is celebrated with Google Doodles, and appearances in the movie Coco, and holidays for the anniversary of her death.

Julie Andrews (The Sound of Music, Mary Poppins)—Oh where to start .... I'm not sure I even know how. She's just perfection. And it's not fair I can't bring post 70s work into this, because she just gets better and better, and her drag performance in to die for. But in the era I CAN talk about, she shows she has THE RANGE. Beautiful, feisty, funny, holding her own against Christopher Plummer, Paul Newman, Rock Hudson. Oh she's luminous.

This is round 4 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

María Félix:

She's Thee Hot Vintage Movie Woman of México. She's absolutely gorgeous and always looks like she's about to step on you. you WILL be thankful if she does.

"María Félix is a woman -- such a woman -- with the audacity to defy the ideas machos have constructed of what a woman should be. She's free like the wind, she disperses the clouds, or illuminates them with the lightning flash of her gaze." - Octavio Paz

María Félix is one of the most iconic actresses of the Golden Era of Mexican Cinema. La Doña, as she was lovingly nicknamed, only had one son, and when her first marriage ended in divorce her ex-husband stole her only child, so she vowed that one day she’d be more influential than her ex and she’d get her son back. AND SHE DID! María Félix rejected a Hollywood acting role to start her acting career in Mexico on her own terms with El Peñón de las Ánimas (The Rock of Souls) starring alongside actor, and future third husband, Jorge Negrete. She quickly rose to incredible heights both in Mexico and abroad, later on rejecting a Hollywood starring role (Duel in the Sun) as she was already committed to the movie Enamorada at the planned filming time. Of this snubbing she said, quote: “I will never regret saying no to Hollywood, because my career in Europe was focused in [high] quality cinema. [My] india* roles are made in my country, and [my] queen roles are abroad.” (Translator notes: here the “india” role means interpreting a lower-class Mexican woman, usually thought of indigenous/native/mixed descent —which she had interpreted and reinvented throughout her acting career in Mexico— and what abroad was typically considered the Mexican woman stereotype, with the braids, long simple skirts, and sandals. This also references the expectation of her possibly helping Hollywood in perpetuating this stereotype for American audiences that lack the cultural and historical contexts of this type of role which would undermine her own efforts against this type of Mexican stereotypes while working in Europe) She was considered one of the most beautiful women in the world of her time by international magazines like Life, París Match, and Esquire, and was a muse to a vast number of songwriters (including her second husband Agustin Lara,), artists, designers, and writers. Muralist Diego Rivera described her as “a monstrously perfect being. She’s an exemplary being that drives all other human beings to put as much effort as possible to be like her”. Playwriter Jean Cocteau, who worked with her in the Spanish film La Corona Negra (The Black Crown) said the following about her, “María, that woman is so beautiful it hurts”. Haute Couture houses like Dior, Givenchy, Yves Saint Laurent, Balenciaga, Hérmes, among others, designed and dressed her throughout her life. She died on her birthday, April 8, 2002, at 88 years old, in Mexico City. She was celebrated by a parade from her home to the Fine Arts Palace in the the city’s Historic Downtown, where a multitude of people paid tribute to her. Her filmography includes 47 movies from 1942 until 1970, and only two television acting roles in 1970. She has 2 music albums, one recorded with her second husband, Agustín Lara, in 1964 titled La Voz de María y la inspiración de Agustín «The voice of María and the inspiration of Augustín», and her solo album Enamorada «In Love» in 1998. Her bespoke Cartier jewelry is exhibited alongside Elizabeth Taylor’s, Grace Kelly’s and Gloria Swanson’s. In 2018, Film Director Martin Scorsese presented a restored and remastered version of her film Enamorada in the Cannes Classics section of the Cannes Festival and Google dedicated a doodle for her 104th birthday. On august 2023 Barbie added her doll to the Tribute Collection.

Julie Andrews propaganda:

"She has such a simple but amazing beauty to her. Not to mention her amazing and melodic singing voice!"

"Roles like nannies and governesses can make us forget how attractive she was! A perfect combination of elegant and adorable, with the most incredible vocal range to boot!"

"Besides having one of the most amazing singing voices ever to grace the silver screen, Julie always had an understated beauty to her that wasn't always shown off on screen. But it's there nonetheless because her characters managed to pull some of the hottest men ever to grace the screen."

"The juxtaposition between carefree Maria and stern but fun Mary Poppins shows the power of the acting of this HOT VINTAGE MOVIE WOMAN"

"Charming, genteel, incredibly charismatic, beautiful, and has an angelic singing voice to boot. Her screen roles as Maria in The Sound of Music and Mary Poppins are absolutely iconic for a reason and she originated several well-known Broadway roles before those."

"the most beautiful woman 12 year old me had ever seen possibly"

"OMG OMG OMG she’s definitely been submitted before how could she NOT but!!!! I loveeee her so muchhhh rahhhh prebby!!!! cool!!!! mary poppins the beloved <33333 some people dislike it but I love jolly holiday so much because it IS a jolly holiday with Mary!!! no wonder that it’s Mary that we love!!!!!"

"I know many people who were taught in singing lessons "when in doubt, pronounce words how julie andrews would pronounce them." THATS CALLED INFLUENCE. THATS CALLED MOTHERING THOUSANDS."

[notafraidofredyellowandblue]

The oldest member anon here! I showed her on stage and off stage pics of the members and without makeup she insists they both looks the oldest! She also said Oliver look much older on stage than off! That's how she's ranking them: Richard, Schneider, Paul, Flake, Till and Oliver. And hottest for her are Till and Richard if you're interested xD

Hi anon (looking over anon's shoulder and waving at anon's mom)

Interesting isn't it, and i guess it might depend a little bit on the photos shown...so i decided to find some pics to check it out (because i heard that moms are always right 😊)

so young to 'old'

Olli: Well he is the youngest, and apart from the beard starting to show some grey hairs lately, he's hardly aging

Till: depends a little bit on the quality of the photo, but he does look very good in most pics, especially the casual ones

Flake: well, like i said before, Flake likes to refer to himself as 'pensioner' 😊 but he always had a bit of an 'old' look about him, and i guess he didn't age that much really...

Paul: i think has photos where he's really showing his age, and definitely when on stage he splatters on the bronzer and it emphasizes the wrinkles 😊 but his sunny smile, and lovely bulging cheeks takes a couple of years off

Schneider generally takes great photos, also recently with greying hair, and i really had to try hard (the things i do for anon's mom) but i found a pic which has him showing his age a little bit...still looking gorgeous mind you ❤️

Well, we all know i love Richard's looks, but i can sort of see how he looks his age maybe a bit more than some of the other bandmates... personally i think he looks better now than ever before, but that wasn't the question 😇❤️🖤

[sunskate]

FD-

with nearly half the teams cut after the RD, the FD was all teams who had Grand Prix assignments (except S/F who weren't yet eligible 🇨🇦→🇮🇪)

PiriHara's Chicago program was a surprise - it hadn't made much of an impression over a stream, but what do you know, Broadway is better live 😅

Olivia and Tim - they never did work out the timing glitches in this program. at least he made it to the end without struggling so much condition-wise like he did at Challenge Cup a few weeks ago. catching up to her in one season was a tall order. i really love how languid and easy she can make it look while covering big ice. send him to IAMO for the summer. it's no consolation to them, but going below both sibling teams allowed the Czech Republic to keep 2 spots for next Worlds

Taschlers were low balled - in no reality should they be below Davis/Smolkin

the swan lakes - D/S in this context, skating against strong teams, look so very small, shallow and with not much ice coverage. it doesn't help that they picked huge music that normally would be danced by an entire stage full of swans. plus their music cut had a couple awful jarring edits - the audacity to slug in extra notes in Tchaikovsky 💀 i might be the only one so bothered lol

the Mrazeks by comparison looked smoother and faster and smarter in that they picked some of the gentler swan lake music including the waltz. for a first year senior team, they can be proud. another first year team who's been even more stellar is Hannah and Ye -

omg they were so good - they're able to be so emotional without feeling over the top. just expressive and connected to each other. lovely ❤️

i like Demougeot/LeMercier - i'm going to look forward to see what they do next. i hope they keep being quirky

really happy to see T/V and R/A live - T/V are willowy and ethereal, and her ballet background shows. but i don't think they get down into the ice. i like this FD a lot, but the interest in it is in those arm movements and elements more so than the skating. R/A i liked the RD a little more than the FD but like them very much

CPom are raising their game all the time - so happy for them and their well earned rise. what i love is that not only do you see them becoming better skaters and performers, but you can see they believe - their confidence in themselves is at a completely different place than it was 2 years ago

omg, live i didn't see just how long Charlene's skirt was caught on her blade at the end. idk if Barbara in the kiss and cry was holding her breath to see if the judges used the little mistakes to put F/G ahead. thank god they didn't, because G/F still have such a higher quality

and Piper and Paul - this program uses the glide and sweep of the music to emphasize that in the skating in a beautiful way. a skated program is so much more satisfying than an element-fest like C/B's. as impressive as their elements and performances can be, i don't know if i've ever been moved by a program of theirs

my favorite of the entire event - LaLa - i was crying by the gorgeous OFt. they alone would have been worth the trip. but gratitude to all the skaters and their coaches - my cup's full. i'm still processing

[rockislandadultreads]

More Spooky Reading Recommendations!

How to Sell a Haunted House by Grady Hendrix

When Louise finds out her parents have died, she dreads going home. She doesn’t want to leave her daughter with her ex and fly to Charleston. She doesn’t want to deal with her family home, stuffed to the rafters with the remnants of her father’s academic career and her mother’s lifelong obsession with puppets and dolls. She doesn’t want to learn how to live without the two people who knew and loved her best in the world.

Most of all, she doesn’t want to deal with her brother, Mark, who never left their hometown, gets fired from one job after another, and resents her success. Unfortunately, she’ll need his help to get the house ready for sale because it’ll take more than some new paint on the walls and clearing out a lifetime of memories to get this place on the market.

But some houses don’t want to be sold, and their home has other plans for both of them...

Payback's a Witch by Lana Harper

Emmy Harlow is a witch but not a very powerful one - in part because she hasn't been home to the magical town of Thistle Grove in years. Her self-imposed exile has a lot to do with a complicated family history and a desire to forge her own way in the world, and only the very tiniest bit to do with Gareth Blackmoore, heir to the most powerful magical family in town and casual breaker of hearts and destroyer of dreams.

But when a spellcasting tournament that her family serves as arbiters for approaches, it turns out the pull of tradition (or the truly impressive parental guilt trip that comes with it) is strong enough to bring Emmy back. She's determined to do her familial duty; spend some quality time with her best friend, Linden Thorn; and get back to her real life in Chicago.

On her first night home, Emmy runs into Talia Avramov - an all-around badass adept in the darker magical arts - who is fresh off a bad breakup . . . with Gareth Blackmoore. Talia had let herself be charmed, only to discover that Gareth was also seeing Linden - unbeknownst to either of them. And now she and Linden want revenge. Only one question stands: Is Emmy in?

But most concerning of all: Why can't she stop thinking about the terrifyingly competent, devastatingly gorgeous, wickedly charming Talia Avramov?

This is the first volume of "The Witches of Thistle Grove" series.

The Secrets of Hartwood Hall by Katie Lumsden

Nobody ever goes to Hartwood Hall. Folks say it’s cursed…

It’s 1852 and Margaret Lennox, a young widow, attempts to escape the shadows of her past by taking a position as governess to an only child, Louis, at an isolated country house in the west of England.

But Margaret soon starts to feel that something isn’t quite right. There are strange figures in the dark, tensions between servants, and an abandoned east wing. Even stranger is the local gossip surrounding Mrs. Eversham, Louis’s widowed mother, who is deeply distrusted in the village.

Lonely and unsure whom to trust, Margaret finds distraction in a forbidden relationship with the gardener, Paul. But as Margaret’s history threatens to catch up with her, it isn’t long before she learns the truth behind the secrets of Hartwood Hall.

The Shadows by Alex North

You knew a teenager like Charlie Crabtree. A dark imagination, a sinister smile - always on the outside of the group. Some part of you suspected he might be capable of doing something awful. Twenty-five years ago, Crabtree did just that, committing a murder so shocking that it’s attracted that strange kind of infamy that only exists on the darkest corners of the internet - and inspired more than one copycat.

Paul Adams remembers the case all too well: Crabtree - and his victim - were Paul’s friends. Paul has slowly put his life back together. But now his mother, old and suffering from dementia, has taken a turn for the worse. Though every inch of him resists, it is time to come home.

It's not long before things start to go wrong. Paul learns that Detective Amanda Beck is investigating another copycat that has struck in the nearby town of Featherbank. His mother is distressed, insistent that there's something in the house. And someone is following him. Which reminds him of the most unsettling thing about that awful day twenty-five years ago. It wasn't just the murder.

It was the fact that afterward, Charlie Crabtree was never seen again.

[ohcanadashop]

Canada's Top Online Shopping Sites || OhCanadaShop

Do you miss making journeys to your favorite malls to shop? You can still do as much online shopping as you like. Canada recently established itself as a leader in internet retail as the industry experienced rapid expansion. With low costs for both products and shipping, some websites even provide free shipping, it is now entirely accessible. What are you looking for? There is something for everyone in Canadian internet shops. clothing, cosmetics, or perhaps skincare products?

We'll introduce you to some of the best online shopping sites in Canada since it's crucial to purchase at well-known, trustworthy websites to prevent falling victim to online fraud. By requesting a video call from your pals, you may turn your online shopping experience into a typical trip to the store!

1. Aritzia

The A-list patrons of this Vancouver-born boutique now include Meghan Markle! It features everything a female might desire, including dresses, coats, skirts, and accessories from all her favorite brands.

2. Uncle Otis

This one is for all the stylish males who want to spruce up their closets. This Toronto-based store carries the newest accessories as well as t-shirts, sweaters, blazers, vests, sneakers, and boots.

3. Ohcanadashop

You have at last discovered the ideal Canadian Pride t-shirt in a variety of hues. These cozy t-shirts, which are also quite soft, come in a wide range of designs that are ideal for gifts for friends and family or for yourself. Enjoy your Canadian patriotism with a fresh, improved appearance. Wear your maple leaf and represent Canada with style!

OhCanada Shop offers cheap Best T-Shirts Online in Canada. Our t-shirts are of excellent quality and beautifully designed, and they come in a variety of colors and sizes.

4. Petit Lem

In search of a present for a friend's child? Your go-to website for clothing for infants and toddlers should be Petit Lem. Onesies, pajamas, and playsuits are just a few of the gorgeous clothing items you may get in the Montreal store.

5. Simons

Simons provides fantastic collections for both men and women, so you can shop for yourself and your significant other at the same time. Because of its affordable costs and the inclusion of outstanding designers like Paul Smith and Marni, it is one of the most well-known companies in Canada.

To reach us out in offline mode do not forget to visit

Oh Canada Shop

Suite 263, 12-16715 Yonge St, Newmarket, Ontario, CANADA

Postal Code: L3X1X4

Email: info@OhCanadaShop.com

Visit Our Website- https://www.ohcanadashop.com/

[offbeatmusicuk]

Albums Of 2022: 25-1

Part one of this list (numbers 50-26) is here:                       

The countdown continues:

25.

HVOB "TOO"

Austrian duo HVOB (Her Voice Over Boys)'s 5th album is another melding pounding techno, with lush vocals, elements of trance and house, chilled soundscapey moments and more downtempo fare. Mesmerising.

24.

Leftfield "This Is What We Do"

Second Leftfield album as a Neil Barnes solo project, and 4th overall, this album is unsurprisingly closer in sound to its 2015 predecessor 'Alternative Light Source' than either of the albums made as a duo with Paul Daley, and while they may not be as legendary and classic as 'Leftism' or (as some may argue) 'Rhythm & Stealth' they are still very good records. As ever a genre melting pot, with elements of dub, techno, breakbeat, punk, chillout etc.

23.

Röyksopp "Profound Mysteries"

The first part of the Norwegian duo's 2022 album trilogy contains the typical combination of danceable floorfillers and beautiful chilled moments. Quality stuff. Honestly if they'd done a best of the 3 parts as one album, it could be the best they'd done.

22.

Synthsonic "Iconiq"

Hard trance producer Carl Nicholson wanted to create a multi-genre (within dance music) band type project. So along with fellow producer Dave Parkinson, pianist Paul Skelton, and vocalists Renny Carroll & Niki Mak, he has done just that. A dance music journey, they claim 8 genres appear over the 12 tracks, with trance, house, breaks and drum & bass among them. A nice nostalgic reminder of the more inventive dance albums of the past.

21.

Billy Daniel Bunter & Sanxion "1993"

The second collaborative album from these two, this time concentrating on recreating the style of breakbeat hardcore from 1993. Job done, nailed it. Big breaks, pianos, vocal hooks all present. Love it.

20.

Lupa J "A New Kind Of Magic"

I've liked Lupa J's brand of glacial electro-pop since 2016's My Right Name EP, but this, her 3rd full length, is her best work yet. As she's brought the breakbeats. Adding old school breaks to her modern glitchy style works a charm, and this is a mesmerising, hypnotic listen.

19.

Working Mens Club "Fear Fear"

They may be from Yorkshire, but I hear a lot of influence from 70s & 80s Manchester here. From Joy Division to the dance beats of the Haçienda via some synth-pop, this album is full of upbeat (in a rhythmical sense) melancholy and a bleak view of the world, but not afraid to use a catchy hook.

18.

William Orbit "The Painter"

Chilled beauty, elements of dub, gorgeous guest vocals, all wrapped up in music that is distinctly Orbit.

17.

PVA "Blush"

Mixing pounding dance music, with live percussion, spoken vocals and post-punk vibe, makes this band rather unique and their debut album one to treasure.

16.

Yeah Yeah Yeahs "Cool It Down"

Though at only 8 tracks and 32 minutes, it only just qualifies as an album - controversial statement incoming - this is probably YYY's best album yet. Bathed in electronics, to set mood and produce energy, with some huge instrumentation, synths and beats, with some big hooks, there are multiple tracks here that are up there with the band's classics like "Date With The Night" or "Zero" but really don't sound like them.

15.

Holy Wars "Eat It Up, Spit It Out"

Debut album from this LA duo, and it packs a punch. Flitting genres from rock and punk with some hip hop influences and a large pinch of electronics, these songs pack attitude and hooks aplenty. Singer Kat Leon is a bona fide rock star, just not enough people have heard of her yet. Give it time.

14.

Annie Hamilton "The Future Is Here But It Feels Kinda Like The Past"

Sydney folk and indie pop band Little May's debut album was dreamy, atmospheric, warm and beautiful. Their follow up wasn't. I wondered what happened, and now I feel it may well have been because Annie Hamilton left the band between albums. For this, her debut solo album is dreamy, atmospheric, warm and beautiful. As Rough Trade put it "Dream pop can sometimes feel detached and low-stakes, but not in the hands of Annie Hamilton. The Sydney solo artist applies an urgent kick of immediacy to shoegaze-style layering, stacking heady textures so impactfully that everything she sings about begins to feel like sensory immersion." And that is the thing, there's not an abundance of big choruses or catchy hooks here, but it draws you in and surrounds you and just feels lovely.

13.

Celsius "1992"

A tribute to the breakbeat hardcore, and the music of the raves in 1992, and a very good one. It sounds just like it was made in 1992. If you like that sort of stuff you will find much to enjoy here. Top one, nice one, get sorted.

12.

Mojave Phone Booth "Hollow The Numbers"

Former Snake River Conspiracy members Tobey Torres-Doran and Mitchell Doran, with drummer Lynn Farmer of Meat Beat Manifesto, release their 2nd album as Mojave Phone Booth, and what a genre hopping journey it is. Across the course of the album there are elements of industrial, trip-hop, punk and even a 10 minute breakbeat-esque club stomper with "Analog Religion". Excellent stuff.

11.

Ben Gold "Rest Of Our Lives"

Stunning euphoric trance on this debut album from Ben Gold, featuring two of the biggest vocal tunes on the scene this year with the title track and the magnificent "Same Sky Same Stars" featuring Plumb.

10.

Feeder "Torpedo"

The quality of Feeder albums have been up and down over their career. The last couple (2016's "All Bright Electric" & 2019's "Tallulah") represented somewhat of a return to form and were very good records. "Torpedo", however, is pretty much a Feeder classic. Mixing elements from their first 4 albums (and mini album "Swim"), from chunky riffs to soaring choruses and beautiful slower songs, this album is their first since "Comfort In Sound" to give me that feeling which made Feeder one of my favourite bands back in the late 90s and early 00s.

9.

Grum "Unreality"

Fusing an 80s influenced, almost synthwave sound, with deep house, trance & techno, Grum's latest is an intriguing and addictive beast, helped in no small part to some stunning vocal contributions from the likes of Natalie Shay and Sarah Appel amongst others.

8.

Conjure One "Innovation Zero"

Rhys Fulber, the mastermind behind Conjure One (and also one half of Delerium), unleashes his 4th album under this alias. It is a dark, yet beautiful, exquisitely produced album of downtempo electronic music. Staggering melodies in the vocal led songs, mesmerising soundscapes in the instrumentals, this contains 3 of my favourite songs of the year, in "Animals", "Hide" & "Wheels Come Off".

7.

Craig Connelly "Believe In Magic"

My absolute favourite of the new trance producers to emerge in the last decade or so, Craig Connelly unleashes his 3rd artist album of uplifting trance, mixing vocal anthems and instrumental stormers.

6.

Placebo "Never Let Me Go"

In my opinion, Placebo haven't made a bad album, and this, their first in 9 years, is fortunately no exception. Typical fuzzy guitars, drums both real and programmed, a soaking of synths and electronics, Placebo often look to do something different with each album, and they do, but only slightly. So it's always undeniably Placebo, but it just keeps it a bit fresh. They themselves here sound somewhat renewed and recharged and ready for action.

5.

Vukovi "NULA"

A concept album then, for Vukovi's 3rd opus, but none of your moustache twiddling, pretentious, triple album nonsense that can so often come from the concept album. Nope, this is a Vukovi album good and proper and the songs within will stir up many a mosh pit. It's heavy, it's bouncy, it's melodic. It simply rocks. One of the most reliably brilliant bands in the world right now.

4.

Blood Red Shoes "Ghosts On Tape"

This was a little unexpected. Every Blood Red Shoes album has been enjoyable. Every one has made my top 50 of its release year (I believe), but none have broken the top ten. This, then, is their masterwork (at least so far). Combining elements of the older rocky era, with the later more electronic output, "Ghosts On Tape" is a spectacular melting pot of sound, with some brilliantly good tunes.

3.

Brigade "Dissonance"

Wow, where did this come from? I saw Brigade live in support slots a couple of times in the mid to late 00s, liked them, bought their first 2 albums (and completely missed that they had an album out in 2011). You know, they were good, but didn’t blow me away. But when I heard this was out I thought it deserved a listen. My, how they have grown. “Dissonance” is fantastic! Yes there are elements of the band they were, but it’s gone super widescreen. Taking the epicness of post-rock, a dash of prog (in the way of having many ideas in one song, rather than the meandering length), with some brilliant vocal hooks and melodies. It’s huge, spine tingling, and manages some to get some huge riffs in there in places too. Superb.

2.

The Glitch Mob "Ctrl Alt Reality"

I wasn't that aware of The Glitch Mob until a month or so ago. I think I'd heard the name, and checking out their previous albums of heavily American festival main stage EDM slanted bass music, if I had heard any previously, I'd've thought 'nah, not for me'. But I saw someone praising this album online, so I checked it out, and it blew my mind. Out goes their modern EDM style production and in comes the old school. More specifically, the amen breakbeat. And lots of it. This is a lazer sharp, immaculately produced, love letter to early 90s rave culture, specifically hardcore and jungle music, and the beautiful power of the breakbeat. And while it is stuffed to the gills with old school style samples and sounds, it doesn't sound like it was made then. It's not a carbon copy. It sounds like it was made today, but it ticks all the boxes for someone who was in love with that music in the 90s.

1.

Pure Reason Revolution "Above Cirrus"

Pure Reason Revolution released 3 astonishing albums (2 of which were Offbeat albums of the year) of modern prog, mixed with almost metal riffs, Beach Boys-esque 3 way vocal harmonies, and massive amounts of electronics before they called it a day in 2011. Core duo Jon Courtney and Chloë Alper reformed the band in 2019, and in 2020 unleashed 4th album “Eupnea”. While “Eupnea” was a very good album, and it was great to have them back, something wasn’t quite the same as it was. That magic spark wasn’t quite all there. But wow is it back with “Above Cirrus”. Right from opener “Our Prism” the huge vocal harmonies are there to tingle your spine, to announce PRR are back on form, and prepare you for the ride. Stunning stuff.

---------------------------------------------------

The top 3 albums were all considered for the number 1 spot, and it was very, very close in the end, but PRR took it.

---------------------------------------------------

Playlists: 

Spotify 50-1 (though missing number 21 as Billy Daniel Bunter & Sanxion are not on Spotify)

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6J4Udn1dFO3KployUUq5Z9?si=cf83fddaa0844e08

YouTube 50-1 (though missing number 21 as Billy Daniel Bunter & Sanxion are not on YouTube) and different tracks to the Spotify one

https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLSWMYBJKcPo20wiAD9J8n3FlJEuaqGWX1

[fuckyeah-jessicabiel]

Jessica Biel for Giants Magazine - August 2006

Those lips, those eyes... surprise! Behind the drop- dead gorgeous looks of Jessica Biel is the heart of a soldier who loves a good fight. Just don't give her a steak knife.

In the weeks leading up to my conversation with Jessica Biel, the following dramas rocked young Hollywood: Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan had a tiff, which then escalated into a full-blown war when oil heir Brandon Davis issued the Lohan-lashing heard 'round the world. Christina Aguilera got into it with Mariah Carey about, well, something, and Mischa Barton took sides, to notable effect, in the Nicole Richie-Paris Hilton battle royale (Barton is Team Richie).

But Jessica Biel has no tiffsno history of them and no real prospects, either and when asked about her lack of beefs with fellow celebrities, she laughs. "It's not really in my personality. I'll go out and dance and have a drink, but I don't get messed up in the drama. I'm also pretty busy. On most nights people are going out, I usually have a 6 A.M. call the next morning."

Ten years into a career that began with 7th Heaven, Biel is one of the few young celebrities without some kind of scandal, feud or sex tape to call her own. And though she was branded the "Sexiest Woman Alive" by Esquire magazine last year, Biel is more the anti-Paris Hilton, refusing to coast by on looks alone and choosing instead to work her ass off for every audition and part she's ever scored. Even with three movies set for release in the next year, the unassuming 24-year-old actress places herself, on a fame scale of one to 10, on the lower end of the spectrum. "I'm probably a...four? I don't know. I'm always thinking about how difficult it is to obtain the parts I want, and how I'm losing roles to all these other girls-Keira Knightley and Scarlett Johansson, Rachel McAdams. All those really, really talented women who are doing movies that I'd like to be doing." That's why she fights.

I HAVE TO FIGHT...BECAUSE IT'S EASY TO BE PERCEIVED IN ONE WAY."

She fought to break into television at 14 as a Christian TV teen queen, and she fought for her first breakout movie role as a coked-out vixen in 2002's The Rules of Attraction. She even had to fight for her latest project, The Illusionist, a romantic period drama co-starring Edward Norton and Paul Giamatti that hits theaters in August. "In the beginning, they wouldn't even see me for the part." Biel says of Sophie, a corseted duchess who falls in love with a master magician (Norton). "It made sense-I'd never done anything period before." But with the shoot date fast approaching and the female lead still open, director Neil Burger turned to Biel and put her through round after round of auditions. When she turned up to test-read opposite Norton, she wore a turn-of-the-century getup she had purchased an hour earlier out of her own pocket and her future co-star was impressed.

"I think she surprised a lot of people when she came in," Norton says. "Because it's a period piece, I think there was some of that 'Oh, there's this girl from television' prejudice. But her work ethic was fantastic, and she's beautiful in the way you think the girls in a Tolstoy novel would be. She looked exactly right for the part." Burger also sensed in Biel a kind of moxie required for the role. "Jesse has an adventurous quality to her, and she's not scared of anything."

Biel's sense of adventure stems from a blue-sky childhood in Boulder, Colorado. She describes her younger self as "a tomboy and an athlete" who could throw a perfect spiral and once broke her heel jumping off a fence. "I played with a lot of boys growing up. I had some Barbies, but I played a lot with my brother and his G.I. Joes."

At 14, she landed her breakthrough role in Aaron Spelling's family values drama 7th Heaven. As Mary Camden, the oldest daughter of a minister, Biel portrayed a sweet and wholesome character that would come to define her public image. Over the next five years, as 7th Heaven became The WB's first runaway hit and found millions of fans in the heartland and beyond, the teenage actress would earn more in a single week than most people earn in a year.

Biel quickly branched out into film, and although she had one memorable, rebellious role as a teenage brat opposite Peter Fonda in 1997's Ulee's Gold (and one nearly-naked photo shoot for Gear magazine in 2000, which she later described as "horrible"), she fortified her Mary Camden persona with "dream girl" parts in toothless romantic comedies like 1998's I'll Be Home for Christmas and 2001's Summer Catch. But by 2002 Biel was ready for something else, and she began dismantling, role by role, her sweetheart image. "It made more sense to me creatively," she says, "to do something that I hadn't done before." To follow Biel's career over the ensuing years is like visiting a schizophrenic on a bad day. First she was a backstabbing slut in 2002's The Rules of Attraction. Then she was a feisty victim in 2003's The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and a crossbow-wielding vampire slayer in 2004's Blade: Trinity. Last year she was a ballsy fighter pilot in Stealth and a sultry heartbreaker in Elizabethtown. While none of these films lit up the box office, they nevertheless established Biel as one of the few young actresses who can pull off action, romance and drama. She sinks herself deep into diverse roles, and depending on your perspective, that diversity either indicates a broad artistic curiosity or an expert marketing savvy. This being Hollywood, it's a little of both.

"I wouldn't be in this business to do the same thing over and over- I'd be bored," Biel says. "I also don't want to be put into a box. I like that you think I'm going to do one thing, and then you think, 'Wait, what's she doing now?"" It's a risky career tactic in a town that loves typecasting, but Biel is ready for battle, and if her colleagues are to be believed, she doesn't mess around.

Writer-director Roger Avary first met Biel when he was casting The Rules of Attraction. "We had dinner, and I told her, 'Listen, having seen you on TV over the years, you seem so sweet and I just don't know if you have it in you to play the bad girl.' She then took a steak knife and held it to my neck, and said, 'I can be bad.' I told my casting director afterwards, 'OK, she's the one."" Or as Biel's 7th Heaven co-star Barry Watson says, "There's no bullshit about Jesse."

After The Illusionist, Biel stars in two other films that could very well give her first dibs on the projects of her choice. First she'll play a working-class soldier in the upcoming Home of the Brave, Irwin Winkler's ensemble drama about US National Guardsmen returning home from Iraq that also features Samuel L. Jackson and 50 Cent. And she's currently shooting opposite Nicolas Cage and Julianne Moore in Lee Tamahori's big- budget sci-fi thriller Nert, playing a woman who can see the future.

"Right now I'm really interested in doing a comedy, but, again, people are not extremely open to that at this point. So I'm having to say, 'Please let me audition." she says, her voice picking up steam. "I have to fight in the trenches for most of my projects, because it's easy to be perceived in one way. But I'm gonna keep on fighting."

[gabrielkahane]

Heirloom

Short form:

Heirloom (concerto for piano & chamber orchestra) premieres with Jeffrey Kahane & the Kansas City Symphony under the baton of Michael Stern, September 24-26. Tickets are here.

I’ll play a solo show at Rockwood Music Hall on Tuesday, September 28th. My dear friend and colleague, Johnny Gandelsman, will open with a solo violin set. Johnny’s on at 7pm, I’ll go on around 8pm. Tickets are $20 and are here. This will be my only NYC appearance this year!

Applications for Luna Lab with Oregon Symphony are now open! If you are a female-identifying, non-binary, or gender-nonconforming composer between the ages of 12 and 18, and live in Portland or Southeast Washington, please apply for your chance to study for a year with the incredible Nathalie Joachim!

Long form:

Several years ago, my friend Eric Jacobsen started pestering me about writing a piano concerto for my father, Jeffrey Kahane. It was an intriguing (and natural!) idea, but I kept putting it off in large part because I’ve never felt comfortable with large-scale instrumental composition. I think of myself first and foremost as a songwriter, and while I love to write for instruments in the context of vocal music, I feel almost entirely unmoored when voice & text are taken away. But Eric was persistent, and, well, here we are. Next month, the Kansas City Symphony will open its season with Heirloom, after which the piece will be heard in the coming years in performances presented by the co-commissioners who’ve rounded out the consortium: the Oregon Symphony, the Aspen Music Festival, the Los Angeles Chamber Orchestra, the St. Paul Chamber Orchestra, and Eric’s Brooklyn-based group, The Knights.

Heirloom is an aural family scrapbook, exploring, in its three movements, a series of inheritances. I’m incredibly excited to witness its birth September 24-26 in Kansas City. You can find the program note I’ve written to accompany its premiere at the end of this email.

The following Tuesday, September 28th, I will play my first concert in New York City since our lives were individually and collectively turned upside down by the pandemic. Most of the evening will be devoted to a new slate of songs drawn from thirty-one composed in October of 2020, the final month of a year-long, complete internet hiatus. Johnny Gandelsman, violinist of Brooklyn Rider, opens with what promises to be a ravishing solo set. Tickets are here.

Lastly, in 2019, I took on the position of Creative Chair with the Oregon Symphony. I’m very pleased to announce that this season, we’ve begun a partnership with Luna Lab, the brainchild of composers Missy Mazzoli and Ellen Reid. Luna Composition Lab offers mentorship and professional training to female-identifying, non-binary, and gender-nonconforming composers between the ages of 12 and 18. We at the Oregon Symphony are incredibly grateful to partner with Luna Lab to offer one student a year-long period of mentorship with Grammy-nominated flutist, composer, and songwriter, Nathalie Joachim, who happens to be one of my all-time favorite humans, and who will be giving the world premiere of Suite from Fanm D’ayiti with the Oregon Symphony in the spring of 2022. What makes this even more amazing is that another all-time favorite human, the violinist Pekka Kuusisto, will be playing Nico Muhly’s concerto Shrink, on the same program. Oh, but we were talking about Luna Lab. If you or someone you know wants to apply, you can find more info & the application form here; you just have to submit one score & a recording (MIDI is acceptable). I will be reviewing submissions along with Nathalie. Applications are due on September 7th.

Obligatory capitalism appeal: I know it’s been a while since I’ve put out new music. It’s coming. I promise. In the meantime, may I remind you about this gorgeous limited edition vinyl record?

That’s it for now, folks. Stay safe. Try to lead with love, even when it’s hard.

All my best,

Gabriel

Heirloom program note:

Tucked away in the northernmost reaches of California sits the Bar 717 Ranch, which, each summer, is transformed into a sleep-away camp on 450 acres of wilderness, where, in 1967, two ten-year-old kids named Martha and Jeffrey met. Within a couple of years, they were playing gigs back in L.A. in folk rock bands with names like “Wilderness” and “The American Revelation.” They fell in love, broke up, fell in love again. By the time I was a child, my mom and dad had traded the guitars, flutes, and beaded jackets for careers in clinical psychology and classical music respectively. But they remained devoted listeners of folk music. Growing up, it was routine for dad to put on a Joni Mitchell record when he took a break from practicing a concerto by Mozart or Brahms. That collision of musical worlds might help to explain the creative path I’ve followed, in which songs and storytelling share the road with the Austro-German musical tradition.

That tradition comes to me through the music I heard as a child, but also through ancestry. My paternal grandmother, Hannelore, escaped Germany at the tail end of 1938, arriving in Los Angeles in early 1939 after lengthy stops in Havana and New Orleans. For her, there was an unspeakable tension between, on the one hand, her love of German music and literature, and, on the other, the horror of the Holocaust. In this piece, I ask, how does that complex set of emotions get transmitted across generations? What do we inherit, more broadly, from our forebears? And as a musician caught between two traditions, how do I bring my craft as a songwriter into the more formal setting of the concert hall?

The first movement, “Guitars in the Attic,” wrestles specifically with that last question, the challenge of bringing vernacular song into formal concert music. The two main themes begin on opposite shores: the first theme, poppy, effervescent, and direct, undergoes a series of transformations that render it increasingly unrecognizable as the movement progresses. Meanwhile, a lugubrious second tune, first introduced in disguise by the French horn and accompanied by a wayward English horn, reveals itself only in the coda to be a paraphrase of a song of mine called “Where are the Arms.” That song, in turn, with its hymn-like chord progression, owes a debt to German sacred music. A feedback loop emerges: German art music informs pop song, which then gets fed back into the piano concerto.

“My Grandmother Knew Alban Berg” picks up the thread of intergenerational memory. Grandma didn’t actually know Alban Berg, but she did babysit the children of Arnold Schoenberg, another German-Jewish émigré, who, in addition to having codified the twelve-tone system of composition, was Berg’s teacher. Why make something up when the truth is equally tantalizing? I suppose it has something to do with wanting to evoke the slipperiness of memory while getting at the ways in which cultural inheritance can occur indirectly. When, shortly after college, I began to study Berg’s Piano Sonata, his music— its marriage of lyricism and austerity; its supple, pungent harmonies; the elegiac quality that suffuses nearly every bar—felt eerily familiar to me, even though I was encountering it for the first time. Had a key to this musical language been buried deep in the recesses of my mind through some kind of ancestral magic, only to be unearthed when I sat at the piano and played those prophetic chords, which, to my mind, pointed toward the tragedy that would befall Europe half a dozen years after Berg’s death?

In this central movement, the main theme is introduced by a wounded-sounding trumpet, accompanied by a bed of chromatic harmony that wouldn’t be out of place in Berg’s musical universe. By movement’s end, time has run counterclockwise, and the same tune is heard in a nocturnal, Brahmsian mode, discomfited by interjections from the woodwinds, which inhabit a different, and perhaps less guileless, temporal plane.

To close, we have a kind of fiddle-tune rondo, an unabashed celebration of childhood innocence. In March of 2020, my family and I were marooned in Portland, Oregon, as the world was brought to its knees by the coronavirus pandemic. Separated from our belongings—and thus all of our daughter’s toys, which were back in our apartment in Brooklyn—my ever resourceful partner, Emma, fashioned a “vehicle” out of an empty diaper box, on which she majusculed the words vera’s chicken-powered transit machine. (Vera had by that point developed a strong affinity for chicken and preferred to eat it in some form thrice daily.) We would push her around the floor in her transit machine, resulting in peals of laughter and squeals of delight. In this brief finale, laughter and joy are the prevailing modes, but not without a bit of mystery. I have some idea of what I have inherited from my ancestors. What I will hand down to my daughter remains, for the time being, a wondrous unknown.

Heirloom is dedicated with love, admiration, gratitude, and awe, to my father, Jeffrey Kahane.

[365days365movies]

March 1, 2021: The Hobbit (Review)

Is “quaint” a good word here?

Maybe its the beautiful backgrounds, maybe it’s the stylized designs that make me think of Christmas specials, maybe it’s the faithful take on a classic story that I loved as a kid, but...I dunno. Quaint’s the first thing that comes to mind here for me, for whatever reason.

All I know is that I did enjoy this movie well-enough...even if it’s not my favorite. Don’t get me wrong, this is still a great story, and I do love the original Tolkien tale very much...but I don’t know if I can say this was my favorite adaptation or not.

Now, it got some things right that the Jackson movies didn’t, at last as far as I’m concerned. Thorin’s pretty good in this film, Gollum is great (as always), and it accurately sums up the story in a single movie without too much omitted (I do miss Beorn, though). But here’s the thing: the things that I think Jackson’s movies did wrong outnumber what this film did right.

You know, the weird addition of Tauriel and Legolas, the added Lake Town plot with fuckin’ Alfrid, the entire Azog thing, the fucking NECROMANCER thing, Rada...well, actually, I like Radagast. He was fun.

And that’s not to say that Jackson’s movies did nothing right. Quite the contrary! I mean, Martin Freeman is a PERFECT Bilbo Baggins, and basically everybody is perfectly cast, to be honest. And that includes what I think is the best part of the films: Smaug, as portrayed by Benedict Cumberbatch. And yeah, that motion capture footage is hilarious, but it pays the fuck OFF, what can I tell ya? I mean...come on.

Smaug in these movies is fucking AMAZING, and I genuinely love him. And...well, you know what, let’s actually get into the Review. Enough navel-gazing here. Here’s the Recap (Parts 1, 2, and 3), if you’d like to read that first! OK, let’s get this done and Reviewed!

Review

Cast and Acting: 7/10

Given that this is an animated film, this is an interesting category to grade. I’ll be doing so based on their vocal performances, and...eh. For a Rankin-Bass movie, the vocal performances are a little standard. However, that doesn’t mean there aren’t some standouts. Orson Bean plays a kind and contemplative Bilbo, and while I don’t know that I like him quite as much as Martin Freeman, I do still like his performance. John Huston is likewise good as Gandalf, although Ian McKellen is...well, Ian McKellen, even in The Hobbit films. And then...there’s Brother Theodore. And, boy oh boy, do I love his Gollum a lot! I think he’s legitimately fantastic as this version of the character, and specifically as this version of the character. Andy Serkis is still the better Gollum, I think, but I do think that Theodore handles Gollum’s last line in this film better than Serkis did. However, I can see Serkis becoming the devious little monster he eventually becomes a lot more.

Also, Hans Conried plays Thorin, and all I could hear was Captain Hook, like, the entire time. There are actually a lot of voice actors from the time period in here, like Don Messick, Paul Frees, and Thurl Ravenscroft, and they’re all fine. There’s also Richard Boone as Smaug, and...he’s OK. Not saying he’s great, but...he’s all right. His deep booming voice does work well for the role, and some of his line deliveries are pretty goddamn solid, but...I dunno, he just doesn’t bring the same gravelly gravitas that I expect of, well, a goddamn dragon, let’s be frank here.

Plot and Writing: 9/10

What can I say? It’s Tolkien! And they’re pretty exact with their adaptation of the original work, as adapted and written by Romeo Muller. And yeah, Muller does a good job...but he also writes this similar to how he wrote all of the other Rank Bass specials. If there’s any problem, it’s that. But even then...I don’t know if I can call that a real problem. Still, I’ll take a point off for it, even though it’s really closer to half a point. If anything, I’m upset that Beorn was completely absent. You coulda worked him in, Romeo!

Directing and Cinematography: 7/10

This is essentially judging the storyboarding, and how shots were positioned in the artistic process. And yeah, it’s...mostly good. Unfortunately, true to form for Rankin-Bass production, it often feels just a little too stiff in places. Makes sense since Arthur Rankin Jr. and Jules Bass are the directors. Not as bad as some of their other productions, but still definitely a notable quality of the film. So, points off for that, but the rest of it is honestly fine, especially for animation of the era. What came out from Disney that year?

Oh, damn, the Rescuers? Yeah...shit, yeah, that looked WAY better, and that wasn’t even one of Disney’s best looking film up to that point. Although, different budgets should probably be taken into account. OK, moving on.

Production and Art Design: 8/10

I like the backgrounds in this film a LOT, lemme tell you. They were done by Minoru Nishida, who’s done a hell of a lot of animation stuff, but was also the art director for Kill Bill Vol 1! Neat! But yeah, the backgrounds are absolutely gorgeous here. How about the rest of the art design? Characters were designed by Lester Abrams, then redesigned a bit by the Topcraft guys (specifically  Tsuguyuki Kubo), giving it the very stereotypical Rankin-Bass style that the movie is known for. And does it work? I mean...kinda. The good news is that the different races of Middle Earth are pretty goddamn distinguishable from each other, and creatively designed at that. The bad news...sorry, I never did get used to Smaug, I genuinely don’t like his design in this. Like...why the dog head? By all accounts, Smaug was a stereotypical wyrm-style dragon, with the reptilian features and I. I just...I don’t get it. Sorry, but Jackson’s Smaug wins here, hands down. But that said...I do like Gollum. It’s different, yeah, but I think his design works pretty well. After all, according to Tolkien, we’re not really supposed to know what Gollum is. And I think it works pretty goddamn well!

Music and Editing: 7/10

Glenn Yarbrough. I love ya. I SWEAR, I do actually like you and your main contribution to this movie, The Greatest Adventure. But if I have to hear that song ONE MORE GODDAMN TIME in this movie, I swear...because they chop up the song and use it in EVERY AVAILABLE INSTANCE with Bilbo. And I guess it’s his leitmotif, but they use that song...A LOT. And not instrumentally, I mean with the goddamn lyrics. Just...tone it down a little, OK? But OK, what about the other music, by Maury Laws? I like it! There are some songs in here that are very catchy, and I might actually get “Down, Down, to Goblin Town” on my playlist. Not that it’s all great, but it works for the setting and for the tone of the movie. And what about the editing? Eh. Visual editing is pretty good, bu7t the sound editing is...it’s 1970s animation editing. Hell, even the Rescuers sound editing wasn’t amazing, when I think about it. It’s fine, but it isn’t great most of the time.

Y’know...I think I can gel with a 76% here.

Yeah, I know, it’s low, but that’s because this movie was...good, but OK. I’m not necessarily saying that it was better or worse than the Jackson movies, because I think they compliment each other in some weird ways. I like Thorin as a character more here, but Smaug MUCH more in the Jackson films. While there definitely don’t need to be three Jackson movies...I’ll admit that I think this one is too short, coming in at only an hour and 18 minutes. And I gotta say, I love the fact that it’s animated...but the live-action films also look fantastic, I can never fault them for how they look (except for Dain...ugh). I think they’re similar, but different, at least for me.

But OK, here’s a question: is it just because it’s a property that I really like, and I have my own internal vision of it, which might be influenced by the live-action films? Entirely a possibility. Watch this movie yourself, make your own score! See what you think. Meanwhile, I’m going to try an experiment.

Fantasy movie, same production company, same directors, same animators, also based off of a fantasy book. And, uh...I dunno, a unicorn, maybe?

March 2, 2021: The Last Unicorn (1982)

[kaleidoscopic-sci-fi]

Empire Covers Inspection:

Back when Empire covered the new SW trilogy, I remembered the did a dark side cover and light side cover. I was hoping for an Atreides cover and a Harkonnen cover, but instead we got a Fremen cover. However, I get it! The Fremen have bigger Hollywood names than the Harkonnens. (Also, it’s another tactic to keep the secrets of the villains under wraps.) (Also also, not that I am saying that Stellan Skaarsgard isn’t a big name.)

Now to analyze the crap out of these pics! 

1. My guess? Spice harvester. It appears very machine-like with the rivets in the walls. However, my second guess it’s one of the buildings of Arrakeen.

2. Space transports taking the Atreides family to the planet Arrakis. They are very boxy, but the quality of the picture is poor.

3. Jessica Atreides’ outfit..either it’s her Bene Gesserit day-to-day dress or it could be her Reverend Mother dress. Again, the quality doesn’t give good details. My guess? Her dress as the Lady Jessica, not Reverend Mother.

4. A crysknife! Maybe the film will show Paul’s first fight among the Fremen, learning how to fight like them and how to kill one of them.

1. Ornithopters! Bird-like unlike the boxy space transports earlier. I might even take a guess that those boxy transports are smuggler transports. Maybe?

2. The blue eyes of the melange-addicted. 

3. Duncan Idaho was Duke Leto’s ambassador to the Fremen. I enjoy that Idaho is wearing the garb of the Fremen, as well as carrying as a weapon. Can’t wait to see him fight!

Overall impression: Love the pictures. I am just a little selfish in wanting a Harkonnen cover or even an Emperor/Reverend Mother cover (!!!).  Maybe for the next film.

The colors of the pictures are gorgeous: the cool blues of the Atreides contrasts well with the warm oranges of the Fremen. The stillsuits are detailed and layered. I just noticed that Gurney is also wearing a stillsuit in the Atreides’ cover, not the armor we saw earlier this year in released photos. I just love the addition of the fabrics to the fremen suits! The Fremen aren’t just survivors of the desert, they LIVE in the desert. The fabrics are protection from the sun as well as clothes!

Because we see Paul in his stillsuit, with his crysknife, I guess the film will have some inclusion of Paul and Jessica’ life with the Fremen. I have my own theories on where the film will end.

So freaking excited! I will definitely be buying this magazine when it comes out on the 3rd!

[tofallinlovewithshadows]

Liveblog — St. Paul, Roy Wilkins Auditorium, 1999

Thank you to @theelliottsmiths for the recommendation!

Ah, is this the infamous drunk show? I suppose we’ll find out

WARNING: It’s a lot of me thirsting after Till. But I gotta be me, right?

Spiel mit mir

God, I love “Spiel mit mir” a little more every time I hear it.

The burning drum opening is the level of extra I have come to expect in my relatively short relationship with Rammstein.

Why do I love pigeon-toed Till so much? Such a masculine man, such child-like behavior—oh, there he is sucking his thumb again.

Watching Schneider drum is a sight to behold. That is all.

Tier

Aww, I always feel so proud of Till when he interacts with the audience. As someone who got a C in her public speaking class in college, I empathize with the stage fright.

I see you bobbing your head there, Oli.

Is Reesh wearing that coat or is the coat wearing him? Hard to tell.

Oh, Flake, when you dance, you remind me of one of those toy birds whose only function is to dip their heads in the water.

Intermission as I watch the Bachelor. Trust me, I’d rather be liveblogging this concert, but I’m in a group chat with my friends and it’s a complicated situation lol

Bestrafe mich

Okay, but that “OHHH” at the beginning did something to me.

I’m fairly vanilla, but there’s something about Till whipping himself?? I felt it for the first time when I watched the Rosenrot video and making of??

Fuck, his body. So nice. So foine. I love Chumby Till, but Ripped Till is gorgeous as well.

Sorry to be so thirsty...

Weisses Fleisch

The sparkler shoes. I would cause mass destruction if I ever dared wear those.

FLEISCH FLEISCH FLEISCH

Honestly, being at a Rammstein concert would be a hell of a way to find out you have epilepsy.

Schneider’s hips and Flake’s legs. That is all.

Sehnsucht

Yet another song that I enjoy the more I hear it.

Till standing still onstage always makes me feel like he’s mid-panic attack and I just

Is it the lighting/quality of the video or is Oli (supposed to look like he’s) covered in blood?

Not complaining, but why do Paul and Oli swap places onstage? Is this song more bass-heavy than I’ve ever noticed?

I love this bridge with the clapping; it makes me happy for reasons I cannot articulate.

Fuck, he just wrecked that microphone.

Asche zu Asche

It makes me happy when Richard and Paul stand in the middle of the stage and riff :’)

I can’t say this is one of my favorite songs, but I appreciate its energy.

FLAKE IS BREAKING IT DOWN AT THE KEYBOARD FUCK I LOVE HIM WHAT A CHARACTER

Yeeees, spotlight on Oli. So underrated. I see you, Lars.

Why was I surprised to see the mic-stands on fire??? There has never been anything to lead me to believe that something like that wouldn’t happen?

Ooh, the slow-down of the drums. I am a fan.

Seemann

Okay, this is one of my favorites. I absolutely love the softer side of Rammstein. Also, way before I even knew what the lyrics meant, this song made me want to cry. And I rarely cry over music. I did two years of German in high school and I vaguely knew what the line “mit Tränen im Gesicht” and it just

It me

It me mit Tränen im Gesicht

Okay, I feel like some people are not fans of the Slow Hammer, but I am a fan of Till’s back, and it highlights it, so I’ll take all the Slow Hammer I can get.

“HELLOOOO”

God, this song is fucking beautiful.

Was not expecting the🎵La-la-lalaaa🎵 but I am here for it.

Stripped (intro)

Let me see Till stripped

So sad this was cut short, it’s one of my favorites.

Someone’s string broke, correct? A shame.

Du riechst so gut

Another one of my controversial “not favorites” I’M SORRY

I keep thinking Flake and Schneider have 16-pack abs, but it’s just their outfits.

Why does this sound so off to me? Is it because they’re shit-faced or am I just tired after watching the Bachelor? There is no reason that show needs to be TWO HOURS LONG, but I digress.

Flake’s doing his toy-bird dance again lol how does one have so little rhythm, yet is such a compelling dancer?

Oh no, fucked-up guitar. Can’t blame the Bachelor on that one.

And the spotlight shines on Richard’s torso. As it should. Fuck, he has a lovely chest.

Du hast

Okay. I know. “It’S oVeRrAtEd AnD oVeRpLaYeD.” But I could not give less of a fuck???

It’s overplayed because it’s fucking catchy? And it’s a lot of people’s gateway into Rammstein, and I think people should let people enjoy it.

Anyway

I love when Till laughs :’)

The reverberating phone cracks me up and I’m not sure why?

Till spitting up that water like a fucking whale and its blowhole.

Lol what is Oli doing? Whatever he wants? I love it. And I love him.

Bück dich

Don’t be mad at me, but I like the Woo-Machine part better than the actual song

Woo-w-woo, indeed

Oh, there’s Flake on the leash.

Are Flake’s legs even real?

Oli’s over there looking like he just climbed out of some radioactive waste and is going to be a comic book villain.

Okay, yes, simulated anal sex, but Till’s little wiggle to distribute the “semen” was adorable.

Aaaand Oli’s getting a drink. Gotta stay hydrated??

Engel (cut)

I absolutely love Engel. It’s one of my “let me listen to this on-repeat for ????” songs

Sad that it’s a bit chopped up :’(

Till directing the fire always entertains me.

YES SPARKLER DRUMSTICKS

I fucking LOVE how extra these boys are. Like, I know it’s because they know a lot of their fanbase doesn’t speak German and it’s for entertainment purposes. Honestly, I feel, as an American who only speaks English, the music can stand on its own. But the spectacle is still MUCH appreciated.

I’m not sure if that last bit made any sense, but we’re running with it.

I love Flake’s extended outtro. (Is that a word? And is it the right one? I’m running on fumes at this point.)

Rammstein

This song gives me so much nostalgia, but I honestly don’t remember the first time I heard it?? I just remember knowing it.

Watching Till stand there in that coat with his arms out makes mine HURT.

The way the coat lit up made me happy in a way I cannot explain.

Yes bb show it OFF

Those drums. Simple, but effective.

In my limited experience, I feel like this a song that Till is pretty hit-or-miss on live. I think this is a hit. But what do I know?

This is the first time I’ve ever noticed/paid attention to the harmonies on this song.

Aww, Paul and Richard are doing the riff thing again, I just love it.

OLI and the giant stomps. God, I love him. And I just realized he’s wearing short-shorts???

Also, not hating Paul’s hair?

Laichzeit

Loving Paul and Schneider’s head-banging.

Also, Till looks zoned out? Drunk?? Panicked???

🎵AUUUGENNNN🎵

This is usually one I skip over when I’m listening on my phone, but I’m super digging Flake’s contribution tonight.

Till ululating was not something I thought I would ever hear??

Yes, Flake, earning that spotlight.

This auditorium must reek of sweat and fuel at this point.

But mostly sweat.

Ssssssllllloooowwwww eeeeeennnnddd

Wollt ihr das Bett in Flammen sehen?

Ah, one of many songs where they chant their own name.

I’m trying REAL HARD not to say that Till can set my bed on fire whenever he wants.

I love this song, but the Doom noises just

Richard, I adore you, but I am not a fan of the bell-bottoms. I know it was a different time. But please.

Till’s ruffled hair is...lovely.

Is this the show they played before that elevator clip?

Aww, the sparklers. I don’t think it’s supposed to be as cute as I find it??

Paul is adorable.

Fuck yeeees, I love when the flamethrowers get brought out.

Especially when used so phallically. I see you, Till.

“We love you. Thank you.” I LOVE YOU TOO AND YOU’RE WELCOME.

Well, it happened. I have no regrets and if you made it this far, then I hope you have none either.

[soyouareandrewdobson]

Charles Schulz vs Andrew Dobson: What a Blockhead!

There are certain things about Dobson’s behavior and particularly his approach at being a nerd and presenting himself as someone who enjoys the art of storytelling that I have issues with. Issues I want to tackle on in more detail within later entries quite a bit.

One such tendency is, that he mocks directly or indirectly the work and accomplishments of others.

See, if Dobson doesn’t like you as a content creator because he does not like something you work on, he will try to show it. He will make stupid assumptions of you (like how he accused Kojima of being a sexist creep because of Quiet and how he deals with “male gaze” in MGS compared to Death Stranding), half heartedly mock you (look at anything he makes about Ethan Van Sciver) or he will call a piece of work boring and dull based on a minor element instead of overarching problems (calling Batman the character a white supremacist based on the dumb work of only one author).

By doing that he also tries indirectly to insinuate that he is better in some manner, though most of the time it really just shows his own ego and that his pet peeves are rather petty compared to the overall quality of the work he criticizes as well as its flaws.

One such sight of ego boosting while mocking the work of his better is in my opinion to be found in this comic he uploaded sometimes around 2016/17 randomly online.

This comic in my opinion is both laughable and insulting. Why? I will explain soon.

First however I want to clarify that I get that this comic is supposed to be a joke mostly. The old “What others expect, what I expect” thing, where the punchline is supposed to be the discrepancy between the two fractions and what they expect, mostly by making one of the expectations come off as worse than the other. However, I find the punchline to be Charlie Brown (and as such what Dobson seems to see as something he does not want to be favorable compared too) quite insulting. Why, as I said, will be elaborated on sooner.

First, let me just get on the part I find laughable: The fact that Dobson in his own head seems to believe he can be even remotely compared to people like Paul Dinni, Bruce Timm, Greg Weismann, Justin Roiland, Miyazaki, Shigeru Miyamoto and all the other character creators and animators whose creations we see in the first panel.

 Dobson, don’t make me laugh. Putting aside the fact that those people are animators more than cartoonists, what makes you even believe in your wildest dreams you are on the same level as them? The fact you too are an animator, seeing how you graduated from an art school with a degree in that field? I have seen your contributions to the field and honestly, I would expect a bit more. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v0tdWNCrIxo

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ps6PfiUCxHQ

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4PyonOqClf8

 I give you credit, you can animate. Which is more than I can say for myself when it comes to the arts. But when you look what other freelance animators can do online, some of them younger than you and NOT with a degree in animation…

  https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=64&v=FmkAcGz1BJk&feature=emb_title

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=97IfPfjSaDg

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eEUoxQ4qSfs

 Viviepop’s demo reels alone are just gorgeous to look at and more fluid than what I have seen of you. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gFlha-KOKCc

 And it is not just the technical quality, Dobson. It is also just the overall “originality” of your work. Cause this is the thing with those animators hinted on in the first pic and even many, many freelancers/fanartists as well as webcomic creators online: They have a spark of originality in presentation and storytelling that you lack. I will one day go more into detail for that, but here is the most brutal thing I can say at the moment: I know shitty porn fanfictions, that have more plot development and character growth than all of Alex ze Pirate.

Your characters and stories tend to be derivative and you barely take any risks in telling a story. Neither in your fanbased work (like the Miraculous comics) nor your original content (mostly because you take comfort in four panel strips anyway)  and when you have an idea for something on which the basis idea actually sounds good, you screw it up by a lackluster execution. One example I want to give for that, would be this fanart of yours in regard to Steven Universe.  

(I apologize for not getting one in better quality) This pic was something Dobson created around 2015 for Steven Universe. The picture is supposed to show Lapis, trapped under the ocean following the events of the season 1 finale of the show. A very emotional situation if you are aware of why Lapis sacrificed herself and was “banned” to the ocean floor. Short explanation: Fused with Jasper and then took primarily control of the fused being they became (Malachite) by using her water powers to bond it with heavy water chains on the ocean floor, so that Jasper would not hurt Steven anymore.

 How much of that was even an emotional strain on her and her psyche was in one episode of season 2 even a theme, as seen here.

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SK3l8mGNhMg

 I am not even a fan of the show and I get the emotional weight and impact of Lapis actions.

So… why is that not conveyed in the artwork? If you are so talented Dobson, why is none of the strain and despair on the character? The idea of a pic showing Lapis under water, longingly looking up, even in despair is a good basis for a fanart. But the execution lacks any emotional detail. You want to know how I would execute the thing if I had the artistic talent? Make the picture a huge horizontal pic, where we slowly decent from water surface down the ocean. The light getting dimmer. Blue turning into dark. The silhouette of a hand and an arm similar to Malachite’s in the background, trying to travel up, the fingertips barely touching the surface. Heavy chains around the flesh. Symbolic of the fusion trying to break free and cause havoc. And down on the dark bottom, beaten and exhausted Lapis with tears in her eyes and chains all over her body like she is Jacob Marley, desperately trying to keep Malachite at bay for the sake of the only being on earth who ever showed just a little bit of kindness towards her.

 Why can’t we have something like this here, Dobson? If you were even remotely as original as the creators you want to be compared with, I think you could come up with something like that and perhaps even draw it.

But you know, his delusions of being as good as them is one thing. It is even funny.

Pissing over the Peanuts is another. Dobson, what are you trying to hint at?

That people comparing you to Charles Schulz and his creation is in your eyes automatically a sort of insult? That it is something that should at best only be a mockable punchline in a comparison?

Just to clarify a few things: I am NOT much of a fan of Charlie Brown and the Peanuts as a property. As a child, I was just not very entertained by them. Yes, I saw animated movies, episodes and specials of them here and there and my grandparents gave me volumes of them to read, but as a whole I never thought them quite as entertaining than other comics or cartoons I watched. Some parts of Peanuts animation felt to me often times like just dead air (especially parts of Snooby dancing with Woodstuck, as they had no function to move the plots forward) and I really could not stand how some characters treat Charles on a regular basis. I mean, we all agree that Lucy is one of the worst female characters in fiction and that even while we hate Family Guy, this clip likely gave some of us some sort of satisfaction, right?

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mZkJAx8FycI

 But before the Peanuts fan out there go and want my head on a silver platter, let me make one thing clear: I may not like the Peanuts franchise… but I respect it and the man behind it.

 Charles Schulz drew the comic strip from October 1950 till late 1999 (the final strip being finished months before it would be published on February 13 of 2000, one day after he died of colon cancer) , creating a total amount of 17,897 Peanuts’ strips. His work marks a major impact in the nature of newspaper comic strips and inspired many people out there, including Bill Watterson, to create comics or be in the field of animation. His achievements include among other things, that he created what many people consider the first animated Christmas special ever. The names of his creations became nicknames for the Apollo 10 command module and its’ lunar modul. Four of the five Peanuts movies in existence (animated made for tv specials not withstanding now) were written by him. And the fifth was only not by him, because that one came out in 2015, a decade and a half after he died.

And speaking of things Schulz wrote for the Peanuts, let me mention two things. Two things that though I am not a fan of the Peanuts, I have mad respect for existing in the realm of animation. Two animated specials that stuck with me ever since I was eight.

 “What have we learnt, Charlie Brown?” from 1983 and “Why, Charlie Brown, Why?” from 1990.

 In the first special, which functions as a semi sequel to the fourth Peanuts’ movie “Bon Voyage, Charlie Brown”, the characters actually travel across France and after ending up on Omaha Beach and Ypres the special turns into a tribute to the soldiers who fought in World War 1 and 2, elaborating on the sacrifices made during the war by showing actual footage of fights, recordings of Eisenhower and reciting the poem “In Flanders Fields” among other things. Do you know how impactful it is to learn about the world wars as a small kid, by being reminded of the actual sacrifices others made in order for your own grandparents to survive?

 And speaking of grandparents, I lost my grandmother as a child by cancer. So when I saw the second special I mentioned, you can bet it stuck with me. After all, of all the things in the world, the Peanuts addressing the seriousness of cancer by having a story where a friend of Linus is diagnosed with leukemia and we follow the emotional impact it has on Linus and the girl? Again, I may not like the franchise, but I am not ashamed to admit I think the special treats the subject with a lot of respect and dignity while telling a good story. You bet your ass I get a bit teary eyed when the little girl survives her leukemia treatment and finally gets on that swing again. Those two specials alone are more mature than ¾ of the shit Dobson likes to gosh about, including his oh so precious gay space rocks. And just for those things existing I have respect for Schulz, his creation and the impact it had on so many people. As such, Dobson “belittling” the Peanuts, at least for me, is a freaking insult. The only way Dobson could have been even more insulting is if he called Schulz something derogative.  Dobson should be glad if his life’s work in total could even amount to 10% of what Schulz has done and achieved.

 Cause Dobson, you are NOT a Charles Schulz. Schulz served during the second world war on the front, fighting actual Nazis instead of calling idiots on the internet fascists for not liking Star Wars. He had integrity and work ethics that drove him to draw and write over 17.000 strips, while you can not even finish one FREAKING story. He knew how to tackle a mature subject, while you make shitty shipping jokes involving Ladybug and Cat Noir and claim Steven Universe knows how to be about psychological trauma, when it just romanticizes abuse. He may have drawn simplistically, but at least he could tell a joke instead of constantly berating others for not sharing his opinion. He did all of that and more without having graduated from college.

 And what have you done, Andrew Dobson?

If Dobson reads this, there is one thing in my opinion he should take away from more than anything else: That if people compare him to Charles Schulz’s work, that it means a) he should not be ashamed of it and b) they overestimate him.

[bonivers]

characters: allison argent, freya mikaelson, silas

allison argent

general opinion: fall in a hole and die | don’t like them | eh | they’re fine I guess | like them! | love them | actual love of my life 

hotness level: get away from me | meh | neutral | theoretically hot but not my type | pretty hot | gorgeous! | 10/10 would bang

hogwarts house: gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuff

best quality: i like that she’s a fighter - she doesn’t give up easily

worst quality: i haven’t watched TW in a while so hmmm. i don’t know if i could give an accurate worst quality

ship them with: lydia and scott mostly

brotp them with: lydia because that’s her most developed friendship. would’ve loved to see her get closer to kira and malia

needs to stay away from: hm. maybe isaac? they weren’t really my thing

misc. thoughts: i liked her but she wasn’t all that memorable to me y’know

freya mikaelson

general opinion: fall in a hole and die | don’t like them | eh | they’re fine I guess | like them! | love them | actual love of my life 

hotness level: get away from me | meh | neutral | theoretically hot but not my type | pretty hot | gorgeous! | 10/10 would bang

hogwarts house: gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuff

best quality: again im running on low memory with TO as well - she was very loyal to her family

worst quality: i think her weakness falls into the same category as her best quality. sometimes she, like mikaelsons do, took loyalty a bit far ahshhshsh

ship them with: keelin (i think that was her name)

brotp them with: vincent

needs to stay away from: not sure honestly

misc. thoughts: she was cool, i do wish that her powers weren’t made to seem less strong sometimes though

silas

general opinion: fall in a hole and die | don’t like them | eh | they’re fine I guess | like them! | love them | actual love of my life 

hotness level: get away from me | meh | neutral | theoretically hot but not my type | pretty hot | gorgeous! | 10/10 would bang

hogwarts house: gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuff

best quality: 10/10 personality. gr8 comedic timing

worst quality: can’t really think of one

ship them with: amara

brotp them with: would’ve been interesting to see him with klaus or kai lmao

needs to stay away from: quetsiyah probably - she was v angry with him lmao

misc. thoughts: i can tell paul had fun with this role - i enjoyed it a lot

send me a character (:

[roguish-gallery]

Did you ever make that joker tier list, I always like seeing what people think of all the different ones. Though if they put Romero last I can no longer respect them.

LMAO I DID! I think I’ve made it kind of obvious in this blog but I... don’t... particularly... care... for... the joker.... unless he’s, y’know, fun to watch. Cause he’s a clown, and clowns are supposed to be entertaining. But since you politely brought it up, and and because I have a deep respect for mutual Romero-lovers, I guess this would be a good time to explain my rankings and just discuss my general thoughts on each clown:

General Thoughts:

For the most part, I don’t really care for the Joker. This is hardly an uncommon opinion here on tumblr, but I definitely fall on the side of the fandom that feels that he gets too much attention from DC. I get WHY they use him so often for films and comics, and I don’t have anything against *most* folks who consider them their favorite Batman villain, but at this point he’s used more for shock value and as a crutch instead of anything interesting. Like, instead of giving attention to the other Rogues, writers (at least for the comics) will try and make up some bullshit story that they can shoehorn the Joker into, ‘cause it sells. It’s tiring, and I feel like the character has lost his meaning; I can only read so many stories about the Joker, I don’t fucking know, wearing a suit made from dead babies and Jason Todd’s flayed corpse before I get sick of it.

I’m at the point where I’ll like any Joker who’s just fun to watch. I genuinely respect those who prefer darker interpretations of the character, but that isn’t me; I vastly prefer the lighthearted takes on him, because... at this point... writers who use the “cleaner” version of him tend to be more creative, since they actually have to write a Joker story that doesn’t rely on gore/torture porn.

TIER ONE:

Joker Baby: Self explanatory. Joker Baby is thematic, thoughtful, and intense. Everytime I watch this video, I shiver with fear and pleasure; something primal in me awakens whenever Joker Baby runs his fingers through his spray-on dyed hair, and ends up smearing green paint on his forehead- it represents the inner turmoil, the chaos, that resides within the disturbed body that is Joker Baby. Nothing can ever hope to top the artistic and cultural impact Joker Baby has had on society.

TIER TWO:

Batman Ninja: I genuinely believe that Batman Ninja is one of the most fun, organic, and creative things to come out from the Batman side of DC comics in like... hmmm... a decade, maybe (I could talk for hours about how much I love this movie but that’s something for a future post). This Joker is easily, and unironically my favorite interpretation of the character, period. I love his energy, his design, everything. This is the most fun I’ve ever had watching a Joker on-screen, and for that I’ve gotta give the film credit where it is due.

Batman ‘66: I looooove Caesar Romero. Batman ‘66 in general is one of my favorite pieces of Batman media, and I absolutely adore this Joker. The show is pure, genuine fun, and it’s nice to turn my brain off and watch a show where the entire cast was allowed to goof around. This Joker is just a cute, goofy little clown-man who likes to commit crimes, go surfing, turn Gotham’s water reserve into gelatin, and have wild orgies with Penguin, Catwoman, and the Riddler. I massively appreciate the hustle. I love his little mustache and his facial expressions. I’d give him a chaste little kiss on the cheek if I could.

The Batman: EXTREMELY CONTROVERSIAL TAKE BUT. I think TB!Joker is better than what people will give him credit for. I can only imagine how stressful it must have been to be the first Batman cartoon to follow BTAS and the writers for this show knew they were gonna be fucked no matter what they did with the Joker, so they just decided to try something completely different with him. Personally, I appreciate the new direction- he has a fun, unhinged energy. I’ve placed him higher than BTAS/BTNA!Joker simply because The Batman was the show that got me into the Rogues in the first place, and I’m just a bit closer to this Joker because of it. Also his vampire form was cool as FUCK in Batman Vs. Dracula and the scene where he gets drenched in blood at a blood bank is fucking awesome.

Batman the Animated Series/The New Adventures: Everyone loves BTAS’s Joker, and I’m no exception. Mark Hamill is fucking great, and the writers clearly knew the character well enough to create a version of him that can be fun and threatening. As an aside, I unironically like his redesign in BTNA- I remember Hamill mentioning somewhere that he thought it was neat that this Joker looked more like a shark (I’ll see if I can find a source on that... I think he said it in an interview with Kevin Smith?) and I kinda agree with him. the redesigns in the final season are hit or miss, but I didn’t get why so many people bitched about the Joker’s new look.

Batman Unlimited: Hear me out... Hear me out... Clown... funny... and cute... He wears a little crown and gives Solomon Grundy a little smooch on the cheek and it is as delightful as it sounds. Yes the Batman Unlimited films literally only exist to sell toys but that doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy them on some ironic level.

TIER THREE:

Lego Batman: He’s a gay icon. He has the range. Enough said.

White Knight: This is just a genuinely good, original take on the character, and the art in White Knight is absolutely gorgeous. 

Arkham: My friends and I joke that this Joker is basically a more unhinged version of BTAS! Joker and... yeah. I’m glad Hamill and Paul Dini got to fuck around with the character more, but I never really dwelled on the Joker parts of the games like I might have for other characters. I definitely liked him the most in Arkham Asylum, as he was more fun to watch. Arkham City was fiiiiine, but I think I replayed the game so much that I kinda got fatigued with everything about it. Genuinely hated his part in Origins, and I was pissed that he stole the attention from Black Mask and Bane (who’s the best fucking part of Origins IMO). I’ll admit that I... Haven’t... played... Knight yet (I have it on PC but my laptop is too wimpy to run it) but like... He’s dead at that point, so I’d assume he isn’t the main point of that game anyway. I love Mark Hamill and the fact I can personally beat the shit out of this Joker, so he’s ranked up pretty high for those reasons.

TIER FOUR:

Batman ‘89: TBH this Joker should be a rank higher, but I’m too lazy to hop onto PicsArt to change it. NIcholson was an excellent choice, and I apprecaite how this Joker makes use of the playful and unhinged aspects of the character. Also, his outfits are cute, and I love the museum scene.

Brave and the Bold: Technically this Joker SHOULD be ranked higher since he’s literally based on the more lighthearted comics in the 60′s but... ehhh... I haven’t really watched BATB so I don’t have any strong opinions on the show and how it handles the character. he’s ranked this high through beause I appreciate what they were going for.

Golden Age: The quality of comics are always subjective, based on the creative team behind them. Some I’ll like more, others less so, It’s kind of hard to rank the pre-52 comic version of the Joker because of this.

TIER FIVE:

Killing Joke: Read it, didn’t care for it. I acknowledge how massive the impact this comic had on... everything, but just because I recognize how important this graphic novel is, doesn’t mean I have to like it.

The Dark Knight: Ledger did an excellent job with the role, but uhh... I’m kind of sick of the alt-right chuds who are out there sucking this Joker’s dick. The fanbase definitely ruined the character for me.

TIER SIX:

99′: Eh

Endgame: No

Suicide Squad: NO

Death of the Family: Hate him. Despise him. Lame stupid dumb little edgy bitch.

Gotham (Jeremiah): I don’t particulary care for Gotham in general, but the only reason I ranked this Joker over Jerome is beause I thought it was kinda funny to see that they made him a little rat-man, and I liked watching all the fujoshi on here cry and complain that they can’t ship this version of the joker with the pre-pubescent Bruce Wayne in the show bc he’s too ugly.

Gotham (Jerome): stop shippping this freak (who is fucking eighteen years old) with a literal twelve year old child. what the FUCK is wrong with yall.

UNRANKED:

The Joker (2019): I don’t plan on watching this film, nor will I ever. I know this is ironic, coming from someone who runs a Rogue blog, but stuff that focuses primarily on a character’s deteriorating mental health makes me reaaaaallllllyyyyy anxious (it’s kind of a phobia) and considering that I don’t particularly the Joker, I have no reason to watch something I know will only give my dumb ADHD-ass intrusive throughts.

[non-sequitura]

Non-sequitura Disney in-depth analysis (after making a tier list)

Warning: SUPER longform. If you don’t know a movie well, you should skip the summary. I tried to be light on spoilers, but they’re there.

I went chronologically from favorite to least favorite. So S tier is, in order from fave to least fave, The Incredibles, WALL-E, then Zootopia.

S tier (Something I consider high quality AND a movie I greatly enjoy. I would love more Disney movies be like this.)

The Incredibles - one of my favorite movies of all time, possibly THE favorite. Rockin social commentary, epic action scenes, memorable characters, not a minute of screentime wasted, great take on the Fantastic Four, hilarious parts for both adults and children, an interesting villain, etc. 

WALL-E - I love how social commentary was done here. Also skies above, what a beautiful love story. Really blazed a trail in non-verbal storytelling (especially given it was an animated kids film!) Robot animations are particularly delightful. 

Zootopia - another social message delivered excellently and entertainingly. I love Judy and her persistence, I love the expressiveness of the faces and the epic city setting. I love Judy and Nick's banter. This movie deserves to be remembered longer than it has been so far. Admittedly, not one of my fave villains, which makes it my least favorite of the Ss. 

A tier (either super high quality or something I greatly enjoy and deem of at least reasonably good quality)

Mulan - this movie did everything right. Truly feminist protagonist, an icon for strong Asian women, fairly culturally accurate (tho Mushu confuses me), GORGEOUS and iconic music. Lets a relatively natural romance develop. I frickin love the action scenes, I love the emporer. Sadly, this movie just didn't lodge its way in my heart as well as Pixar did. Pixar just has some magic, yo. 

Cinderella - my gosh what an underrated protagonist. Her family straight-up abuses her and she never loses sight of her goals for a better life. Iconic visuals helped bring Disney out of bankruptcy. A gorgeous alto singing voice. 

Wreck-it Ralph - alright alright ppl don’t crucify me for this. I honestly can’t think of much wrong with this movie. Vanellope and Ralph’s vitriolic best buds relationship is adorable, her forgiveness of him is heartwarming and (relatively) deserved, rockin’ Owl City song, epic visuals that mix together bc of all the different games. ALSO ONE OF THE BEST DISNEY VILLAINS NO CAP. One of the only twist villains I like. And we stan the romantic pairing. 

Tangled - I’ve talked about this a lot, but Rapunzel deserved the whole world after what she’s gone through. That being said, Gothel is not some shallow monster she needs to escape from, but an intelligent, well-defined monster with backstory. I could totally see this story happening if the world of Tangled existed. Epic love story, hilarious dialogue. Music is… good but much of it is less memorable to me. Visuals are good but not quite at the level/creativity of many other disney films. 

The Lion King - they really put Hamlet in Africa and pulled it off lol. But in all seriousness, no one took the premise of this film seriously at the time and it became sooo iconic. I love Scar and his eventual downfall, I love how Simba grows emotionally, I love the sad moments that don’t overpower the overall feeling of light goofiness. And music so memorable it was one of the first Disney musicals. 

Coco - not a super unique story premise. But an incredible culture to explore with such creativity and sensitivity. I love the themes of death not being the worst and music being so central to the story. Twist/twist villain was memorable and not expected. And yeah, it did make me cry, so props there. 

Ratatouille - the most recently watched of these films for me. This movie is soooo unique! Back when Pixar was truly super out there with their concepts. Super Parisian visuals and soundtrack. It somehow starts goofy (THE OLD LADY TRIES TO KILL REMY WITH A SHOTGUN WHILE WEARING A GAS MASK) but really drives home the message that you can truly do what you want regardless of who you are. Colette can get it. And the monologue by Ego at the end is one of my favorites in film. 

Frozen - Anna is one of my favorite Disney protagonists. She’s so resilient and loyal. Elsa ain’t bad either but she experiences… less character development. The film is a tad too pleased with its own self-awareness for my taste, but there’s no denying how iconic the music and visuals were. 

Inside Out - Alright, this movie hits home for me bc I tried to run away after moving. A super thoughtful, heartfelt depiction of (potentially depression? imo) with great moments of humor. Riley’s inner world is so creative and lovely. Also realistic depictions of Minnesota/California culture. 

Tarzan - Jane! is! smart! and! adorable! Her scientific curiosity makes her very endearing. it’s so cute to see her and Tarzan learn from each other. Also Tarzan’s “found mother” is epic. Solid score. Solid film all around. To quote Lily Orchard, “This film is what Pocahontas tried to be.” 

B tier (one of my favorites but has a few significant flaws that bring it down (or not quite as memorable to me, but consider good quality))

Peter Pan - Haven’t seen it in a hot sec, but I remember being super charmed by this as a kid. Just going out, having incredible adventures, and returning to a warm home at the end of the day. Tinker Bell is hilarious and beautifully drawn. Gets major negative points for the depiction of Native Americans tho. 

Big Hero 6 - I was super charmed by the protagonist, his family/friends, and the setting. The plot/villain’s motivations are a bit of a mess, though. 

Princess and the Frog - This movie has so much flavor to it! The visuals/music are lovely and unique. Tiana is incredible but it’s kinda annoying how EVERYONE keeps trying to shoehorn her into romance. The thing is, her goals are entirely reasonable. Focus on her restaurant, then look to settle down. But they’re like “nooo you’re ignoring the important things in life” smh. Also, epic villain, woohoo! The movie dragged significantly for me when they were in the bayou. Charlotte is delightful. 

Winnie the Pooh - don’t remember it super well, but I think it was charming and occasionally dark, which is an addictive concoction. 

The Little Mermaid - MAN ppl roast Ariel way more than she deserves. Visually, it was… fine. idk. This movie is good. I don’t have much else to say about it. 

Snow White - the one that started it all. Visually, super impressive. Musically, lovely. I find the romance a bit… off. Well, more than a bit. What is it with Disney and kissing sleeping people? 

Alice in Wonderland - a nerdy acid trip. Right up my alley! I also like films where ppl go on incredible adventures and return to the status quo, but THEY changed bc of it. Epic. SUUUUPER creative visual interpretation of Carroll’s book. Brave - gosh I loooove films where a parent and child learn to understand each other. Never got why ppl hated this movie so much. The Scottish flavor is present and fun. Merida made one mistake and made it up. The arrow scene is iconic. 

Cars - a fun ride! (hahaha puns.) We love seeing Paul Newman as a car. 

B-minus tier? (same as B, but problematic, or weaker story-wise.)

Hunchback - man… settings-wise, this film might be my favorite. I also love Esmeralda and Quasimodo as characters and as a duo (though the sexualized depiction of Romani ppl is not epic.) I also don’t find the discrimination against Esmeralda/Quasimodo jarring bc it matches the time period. Frollo is super interesting as a villain. The gargoyles are… def not necessary. Basically, this film doesn’t know what it’s doing with tone. 

Sleeping Beauty - Aurora was my favorite when I was younger because I thought she was the prettiest, and that still defines how i feel about this, basically. Visually lovely - everything is kind of elongated and gothic. Maleficent is spiteful and epic. I have no issue with the fluffier parts of the movie, like the music or the fairies. RIP for lack of consent being a plot point, though. 

Hercules - Megara is incredible. one of the only Disney “princesses” who acts like an adult and has cynicism as a major part of her personality. I love her and Herc’s progression where she learns to trust him (yes, he is genuinely that sincere, it’s not a front.) Muses are unique, whoever came up with them was high on something and I’m living for it. I just think the plot itself was somewhat unrealistic/ weirdly-paced. There are some memorable songs, some less-than-memorable songs. Art style is cool but I’m personally not a fan. EXTREMELY inaccurate depictions of the original Greek gods. 

C tier (entertaining, but I don't consider it a great movie)

Bolt - I watched this like 11 years ago. It was fun! A cool concept about those put on a pedestal learning their worth even without celebrity boosting them up. Animation was… fine I think. not super memorable to me. 

Frozen 2 - They really took any scrap of character development Elsa had in the first movie, threw it in the garbage and set it on fire. Anna deserved so much better. Songs are bombastic and impressive, have the occasional interesting lyric, but are really weirdly placed and none are quite as iconic as the first movie’s (except Aurora, she does great work here. Also the song Anna sings after she thinks Elsa died.) 

Not a big fan of the vaguely homeopathic theme. Not a big fan of Olaf’s WEIRD character development. Not a big fan of the suuuuuper awkward dialogue and the animations that imply not only that Kristoff is into his reindeer but that Elsa and Anna are into each other (if you’re questioning if they did that, yes, they did, I can find screenshots of some really weird expressions/moments. THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO PANDER TO YOUR WEIRD FANS, DISNEY.) 

The voice actors did great work, the animators did great work (look at the details on their clothes! Look at how Elsa’s posture changes to be more confident! look at how they're animated while they're singing!) Some weird costume/makeup choices that make Elsa look like an aging starlet, but she also has some gorgeous moments so eh. It’s a wash for me. 

They really did not know what to do with Kristoff this movie, huh. The only thing that happened to him was singing a cheesy 90s ballad and marrying Anna, both of which were admittedly epic. Also, the trolls got 0 appearances despite being literally psychic. Probably could have helped with a lot. I'm not a huge fan of lore/worldbuilding, and thee was a lot of it here. Overall neutral on it. 

Also a big theme in this movie I don’t love - **** TANGIBLE CONSEQUENCES TO OUR ACTIONS!!! The danger is Elsa’s death, the elements, colonialism, and Arendelle literally being destroyed. None of those end up playing out, so I was left at the end going “this film had literally no stakes.” 

Monsters U - same as above - entertaining at the time! Not super memorable. The ppl we were supposed to dislike kept switching. Doesn’t really match the canon of Monsters Inc (I thought they were supposed to have known each other since childhood so why did they meet in college?) 

Cars 3 - so apparently, everyone HATED this movie! Fun! I never watched Cars 2 (yes watched Cars 1 if you haven’t been paying attention to this list), but I didn’t think this movie was bad at all. Well-acted, some fun chase scenes, the scene where Lightning fails at driving in the simulation is genuinely hilarious, and some interesting perspectives on teachers getting the spotlight for their skills for once. 

Incredibles 2 - I liked this film at first, but then it was… just okay in retrospect. I love me some good family dynamics. The plot here makes not a lot of sense. THEY BUILT UP THE UNDERMINER FOR NOTHING AND THEN FORGOT ABOUT HIM. I was surprised by the villain swap, but it happened so last minute I never really understood their motivations even after they explained them. Tried to tackle waaaay too many messages. 

D tier (I didn't enjoy these or consider them mediocre)

Finding Dory - Maybe I should have put this higher? Like C tier at least. Ah well. Wasn’t a huge fan of the body/physical comedy (not my thing), but it was entertaining and awww finding family is heartwarming. 

Finding Nemo - I remember nothing about this movie. 

E tier (this film has significant problems)

Beauty and the Beast - *sigh*… I want to love this movie. The score is gorgeous. Visually, they could have made it more distinctly Rococo-era France but didn’t (why?) The voice actors did good work and I think Paige O’Hara is SUPER underrated here. 

The Beast is emotionally manipulative with an awful temper that (for MOST of the movie. He doesn’t change.) That’s the main reason this is in E tier. This movie shaped so many generations of people thinking they can change the behavior of someone who treats them badly through the power of love. But you can’t. She learns to “love” the beast under coercion. It’s not Stockholm syndrome - it’s a trashy romance novel. Big fan of Gaston as a villain. He’s an archetype ppl can recognize and it’s so satisfying to hate him.

F tier (I think this film actively harms the industry and would rather it not have been made. Both the one in E tier could be considered harmful to the industry, but I think they had significant enough artistic accomplishments to scrape above that. I'm also generally a fan of "lack of censorship bc it's better to teach what not to do.")

Pocahontas - this movie took real historical events and romanticized them AND sexualized one of the only Native princesses they’ve had. Boo. Nothing wrong with animation!Pocahontas as a character, it’s just people put her in a story that doesn’t represent history well at all (and these historical events, unlike those in say, 14th-century Germany, had super relevant effects on people alive today.) And they portrayed the Native Americans and colonial settlers as equally in the wrong. (though I like Governor Radcliffe as a potential villain and love the line “see how I glitter.” I can’t NOT laugh when I hear it.) Lovely music, though. Nice animation, but the colors are weirdly… muted? 

Bad Garbage (I don't wish this film had never been made, but I wish I never had to see it.)

Planes - this movie was ridiculous. I remember not much about it except that I kinda hated it and that it was super cheesy with tension one could see right through that immediately resolved itself via one twist or another. 

Haven’t seen tier: Recess, A Bug’s Life, A Goofy Movie, DuckTakes Movie, Lilo and Stitch, Pinocchio (actually i have seen this but I remember nothing about it), The Nightmare before Christmas, Toy Stories 1, 2, and 3, Up, 101 Dalmatians, The Great Mouse Detective, Cars 2, Moana, The Good Dinosaur, Pete’s Dragon, Fantasia, Peter Pan Return to Neverland, Fantasia 2000, The Black Cauldron (read the book, though!), Bambi (or I did and remember nothing about it), The Rescuersm, The Rescuers Down Under, Planes Fire and Rescue, Bambi 2, The Fox & the Found, Oliver and Company, Atlantis, Treasure Planet (I want to, though), Piglet’s Big Movie, The Jungle Book, the Emporer’s New Groove, The Jungle Book 2, Chicken Little, Brother Bear, The Three Caballeros, Pooh’s Heffalump Movie, Dumbo, The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad, Aladdin (seen parts but never the whole thing), Strange Magic, The Sword in the Stone, James and the Giant Peach, Frankenweenie, Lady and the Tramp, Ralph Breaks the Internet, Doug’s 1st Movie, Monsters Inc. (want to, though), Meet the Robinsons, Dinosaur, The Aristocats, Robin Hood, The Tigger Movie, Who Framed Roger Rabbit, that pooh movie at the end without the title on it

-11/21/20