#or two. one each for the two shows i voted in last year
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Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis (Scared Stiff, Living It Up)—goofy weirdo yaoi
William Powell and Myrna Loy (The Thin Man films)—i know they will have been submitted already but What If They Haven't Been!!!! the screen couple so hot together that people assumed they were married in real life! they match each others snark and dry deliveries SO well, theyre so married i still keep them tucked away in my mind as The Bar of established couples for movies. its also THEIR season rn new years is THE season for the thin man so a vote for loy-powell is a vote for love
This is round 1 of a mini Christmas tournament. Each poll lasts for three days. If you'd like to send additional propaganda supporting your favorite hot couple, you can reblog this post with your propaganda added, send it to my asks, or tag me in it. To vote in all the polls, click here. Happy holidays!
[additional sexy propaganda under the cut]
No additional propaganda submitted for Lewis and Martin.
Loy and Powell:
William Powell and Myrna Loy from The Thin Man series. Glamorous and witty, with the banter of a will they or won't they couple combined with the mischievous affection of the happily married. And they're detectives!
They're ridiculously in love with each other, genuinely enjoy spending time together, respect each other, and just look at them:
He's dapper! She's gorgeous! Asta is adorable! They're simply the best!
Nick & Nora Charles, my pre-Code LOVES. Wikipedia describes them in one line as a couple who enjoy “copious drinking and flirtatious banter,” and they’re right for that.
Myrna Loy and William Powell, their delight in each other on screen makes me deliriously happy every time I watch them. I’ll even watch the later Thin Man movies, even if they aren’t great, just for those two flirting and smirking knowingly at each other. Watching them as Nick and Nora, you just know those characters really enjoy being with each other more than anyone else.
They had sizzling chemistry, and their real life friendship meant that they actually enjoyed being around each other, and it showed on screen.
I know I'm probably not the only one suggesting them, but I HAVE to nominate my favorite on-screen duo: Myrna Loy and William Powell. The chemistry between them has rarely been equaled; they're like the fun, cool couple that's clearly in love without ever being obnoxious about it. I love all of their movies so much, but my favorites are the Thin Man Series, Libeled Lady, Love Crazy, and I Love You Again. Obviously, I'm not alone, seeing as they had 13 movies together. Also, them+Asta? True double income, no kids goals.
(I know other people will be saying this but One Must Be Sure). MYRNA LOY and WILLIAM POWELL. From The Thin Man (1934), After the Thin Man (1936), and all the other Thin Man movies etc. They're just so into each other in such an equitable way, they push each others buttons and tease each other while drinking like fishes and solving mysteries and it's REALLY HOT. They both always had a twinkle in their eyes and adorably wrinkled their noses at each other.
Myrna Loy and William Powell, who are both life goals and wife goals simultaneously. The ultimate gender envy couple.
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First off, thank you to everyone who voted, and especially to all of those who reblogged and helped this poll reach an even bigger data pool! Over four hundred votes is amazing! I'm sure I'll run another poll like this again one day in the future with more specific choices in order to get an even better lay of the land.
Now, time for some data analysis...
I'll be honest, this was largely a poll conducted to reassure myself that I wasn't going insane. As a lover and writer of Explicit fanfiction, seeing an odd difference between the kudos given to my Explicit fics versus my non-Explicit fics was strange to me. After all, I leave kudos on pretty much every fic I read unless I truly didn't enjoy it. And that includes a lot of Explicit content. Sue me, I'm a pervert on the internet! You probably are, too! As a result, this poll was born to get to the bottom of why I was seeing such a difference in kudos.
Using my own fics as the data pool, as of noon on December 23, 2022, I've done some math. I'm only including my fics written this year in the data. I used two methods of calculation: one being to add up total kudos and total hits and find the percentage of TK/TH. The second method of calculation was to get the individual K/H percentages for each fic, add them up, and then divide by the total number of fics to find an average percentage. If there are any math people in the audience who think there's a better way to calculate, I'm all ears! I wasn't sure which method was the most accurate, so I'm including them both here.
I have written 14 General fics, 10 Teen and 10 Mature fics, and 4 Explicit fics.
Total Kudos over Total Hits:
General: 15.48% Teen: 11.72% Mature: 14.14% Explicit: 07.05%
Individual Kudos over Individual Hits:
General: 21.14% Teen: 14.61% Mature: 14.79% Explicit: 09.35%
As of December 23, 2022, out of my top 15 fics of 2022, 5 were Mature, 4 were General, 3 were Teen, and 3 were Explicit. Two of those Explicit fics were only posted in the last three weeks. One was posted on the twenty-first. This is not a matter of Explicit fics being unpopular. And, since I'm doing averages and percentages, this data isn't skewed toward the older, predominantly non-Explicit having accumulated more hits and kudos. This data tells me, on average, how many people who click on a fic to read it leave kudos at the end.
Since it was a part of the poll, I was curious to see if the amount of kudos that are from Guests aligns somewhat with the amount of people who answered that they only leave kudos on Explicit fic when logged out of their Archive account. I've gone through all of my fics and tallied up the amount of kudos that are the result of guests.
Guest Kudos:
General: 25/141 (17.73%) Teen: 16/86 (18.60%) Mature: 22/100 (22.00%) Explicit: 6/27 (22.22%)
There's certainly less of a difference between the first set of data and the guest kudos ratio, but it's interesting to see that there's still an upward trend as you move from General / Teen to Mature / Explicit.
I'm sure that there's more data analysis that I could do with this, but I think this generally covers my bases. I fully plan on running another survey like this at a later date next year and with, hopefully, another few dozen fics under my belt to add to the data pool of content to analyze. Thank you to everyone who contributed!
Let this be your year-end reminder to go and show writers some love! Especially as the world grows more and more conservative, it's important to let the people who provide porn on the internet know that they're valued. That sounds like a joke, but I'm serious! Producing and consuming "degenerate" content isn't something we should be ashamed of. We're all freaks on the internet! We just don't have to be lonely freaks!
#original content#I love math so much when it isn't for a grade#data analysis#polls#writing#ao3#dragon age#dragon age origins#dragon age inquisition#dragon age ii#Thank you again to everyone who reblogged the poll and helped boost the data poll :D#Love you all so much
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me: boycotting Eurovision this year is so easy! *happens to get scheduled to work on the days of all three shows at a time when everyone needs to work extra hours to keep things running* /s
anyway consider donating to verified palestinian fundraisers to evacuate gaza. there are a few lists floating around here on tumblr.
#personal#just annoyed at my fellow americans that's all#idk tired rn#but i feel like boycotts from people invested in eurovision matter more#i was considering taking that saturday off as soon as i knew the eurovision dates#but then things escalated to where a boycott made more sense#i was also considering setting aside money to vote for my faves#but idk i guess i'll pick a gofundme to donate to instead#or two. one each for the two shows i voted in last year#mati.exe
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jump then fall (into you) | part 3
banner by the talented @jimilter 💖
pairing ↠ jungkook x reader
genre ↠ cruise AU, fake dating AU, best friends to lovers AU | fluff, angst, smut
word count ↠ 52k (pt 3. 14k)
18+ | warnings ↠ swearing, drinking, sexual content: foreplay, oral m. and f., protected sex etc.
summary ↠ bringing Jungkook along as your date to your ex’s lavish cruise wedding seemed like a perfect idea at first — all of your family and close friends together, nothing can go wrong… then Jungkook’s ex shows up and all of a sudden you’re in a years long relationship with him. You don’t mind though, really, how hard can sharing a cabin and pretending to be deeply in love with your best friend really be?
note. asdkjlfdsgh it's the final part, i hope you're enjoying! 🥰 don't forget to interact please xo
part 3 (final)
“Black or red?” Sophia held the two dresses against herself in turn, eyes scrunched as she considered each carefully.
“I vote red.”
“No, black.”
Elisa and Shay, two of Sophia’s closest friends looked at each other in disapproval after both giving their choice.
“Wait, what are you wearing again, Y/N?” No answer prompts her to turn around. “Y/N?”
“Huh?” You look up, slightly confused. “Sorry, dress, yes, I like both but I think the black will go with the Harry Winston your dad just got you.” The answer rolls off your tongue and you’re grateful that you already had this conversation with Thalia a few weeks back before you’d left for the cruise.
She narrows her eyes at you and you can’t blame her. You’ve been zoning out on her all day.
“Sorry,” you wince, giving her a smile.
“Something on your mind?” Sophia asks, having witnessed this earlier too.
“Not really,” you answer. “Just tired.” It’s not true but you don’t particularly fancy sharing your current dilemmas with the girls despite how great they are at advice. Besides, it’s less than two days till the wedding and you’re not trying to make your problems everyone else’s problems.
Sophia just gives you that look before carrying on as though nothing happened. “What dress are you wearing again? Wasn’t it the same red as this?”
You nod. Your dress for Thalia’s dinner tonight is a simple wine red dress with a tie up back.
“Alright, I’m going for the black one then.” Sophia throws the red one on the bed and hangs the black one up on her mirror.
“Now heels,” she says excitedly. The girls follow her into her closet and you get up too but not to follow.
“I’m gonna go get some water,” you tell them, sticking your head into the door of the closet.
“Can you get me some too?” Sophia asks, eyes scaling the shelves for the perfect heels.
“Sure.”
You walk away from the girls and towards the closest back staircase which would take you directly to the kitchen. It’s on the opposite side of the house, past many of the bedrooms on the third floor, one of which belongs to Alias. A part of you hopes to hear voices in the room, one voice in particular, but you’re only met with silence as you pass.
Deflating a little, you go downstairs to the kitchen. As you approach, you hear voices, Thalia and Alex. They’re standing by the fridge, talking softly to each other as Thalia takes a few drinks from the shelves and Alex places them on a tray behind them on the island.
Alex looks up and smiles when he sees you. “Hey, Y/N.”
Thalia turns around, placing the last of the bottles on the tray. “Finally managed to escape Sophia?”
You laugh, approaching the fridge. “Not yet. I’m just here for some water.”
“She’s still choosing her outfits?” Alex asks, brows raised.
“Yep.”
“But she took forever when she was buying them, why is she still choosing?”
Thalia laughs. “She’s your sister, surely you know better than that by now. She’s got at least three new buys for one event, then she’s got to choose between them and don’t forget about the jewellery, shoes and hair choices that go with them.”
Alex puts his arm around Thalia’s waist. “I think you’re just as bad though.”
“Well why not?” Thalia answers smugly. “It’s just self love.”
“And that’s why I love you.”
You don’t cringe as they smile at each other all smitten, but surprisingly feel a small pang of pain in your chest. Looking away, you take three bottles of water from the fridge.
“Are you going back up there?” Alex asks.
You nod. “She’s almost done.”
Just as Alex nods, another voice enters the conversation.
“Need any help guys?” Jungkook pauses in the doorway the moment he sees you, meanwhile Alex and Thalia exchange sly glances.
“Actually, yes.” Thalia puts down the drinks she’s holding. “Bring the drinks please,” she says, pulling Alex by the hand. “As bride and groom we don’t want to risk any injuries from all the heavy lifting,” she adds, with an air of humour and absurdity which her fiance shares and they don’t wait another second before disappearing from the kitchen. Just like that, you’re left alone with Jungkook.
He looks at you from across the island. “Hey.”
“Hey,” you smile, feeling your lips purse awkwardly.
For a moment, neither of you move and the air is ripe with hesitation. A hundred thoughts cross your mind but not one leaves your mouth. If Jungkook’s mirrored expression is anything to go off of, he’s feeling the same.
Eventually, it’s Sophia’s voice coming from somewhere in the house that snaps you out of it. “Y/N, we’re doing hair now!” she calls, followed by a faint giggle from the girls.
“I’ll just…” you dumbly don’t finish your sentence, instead opting to just point towards the staircase as you turn around and head back towards them.
“Your water.”
Turning around, you see Jungkook is pointing at the three bottles Thalia was taking out for you, left on the corner of the island.
“Oh, right.” You feel your cheeks warming up as you take the bottles, that was silly of you.
Jungkook steps around the island. “Need a hand? I can take them for you.”
“No, I’m good,” you answer, noticing the way he stops immediately in his tracks.
When you look at him, his lips are pursed and he just nods, looking down. You realise he was probably just looking for an excuse to talk and you just shot it down.
Stupidly, you hesitate, and just when Jungkook looks up at you, one of the chefs walks in, greeting you both as she places down a big basket of freshly picked tomatoes right on the island.
Without another word, Jungkook starts placing the drinks on the tray and you turn and retreat back upstairs.
That was so stupid, you think, trudging your way up. Since when has it ever been this awkward between you both? Sure, the last time you spoke wasn’t a good conversation but this is the first time you guys haven’t been able to get past it and it’s becoming almost agonising.
“Worst headache ever.” Alias just manages to raise his head from the table to have a sip of his coffee.
“Take some anadin,” you say, just about managing to sip on your own iced coffee.
“Here.” Elisa puts a blister pack in front of him and Alias groans as he swallows two together.
The whole room around you is a similar scene. Kelce and a few of the other guys are knocked out on the lounge, while you, Alias, Thalia and a few of the other guys are holding strong and knocking back some coffee to help with the hangover. Last night got a little crazy for both parties involved. As expected, Sophia called in the strippers and when the last stripper finally lost his clothes, it was straight tequila shots for the rest of the evening and even Thalia got wasted.
“This is exactly why I don’t drink,” she moans, resting her head on your shoulder.
You laugh, remembering just how many shots she took last night. It’s true that she barely drinks as much as she did, but when Thalia gets drunk, she gets drunk.
“A hen night only happens once.” You remind her of her words and she groans in regret.
“Maybe we should all go dry for a month,” Alias says.
“Oh come on,” Dillon says, taking the Anadin and nudging Alias. “Give it a few hours and you’ll be ready for another round tonight.”
“No way.”
“Yes way.”
“Whatever.”
Thalia laughs from beside you. It’s true, he’ll definitely be knocking back the rounds again tonight. After years of friendship, you know that all it’ll take is a coffee, a balanced meal, a cold shower and two to three hours for the anadin to kick in and Alias will be right as rain for tonight. The same goes for yourself and ideally you’d like to be your best tonight.
This evening is the rehearsal dinner before the big day tomorrow. The house is full of excitement and jittering nerves from some but for the most part it’s just the excitement.
“My sunshines,” comes Alex’s voice from around the corner before he appears. Honestly, all the excitement could be coming solely from him, you haven’t seen him so happy and carefree like you’re experiencing now.
A wide smile plastered across his face, his eyes meet his finances as soon as he comes into view. They share a lingering glance, one full of adoration and content. Since arriving at the house, it was the job of the bride and groom parties to try to keep the bride and groom apart as is the Cirillo family tradition, but it hasn’t been going so great. For starters, the bride and groom parties should’ve been separate since arriving at the house and although none of you have been hanging out together much, you probably shouldn’t all be mingling together right now. No one’s really keeping check though, and Alex and Thalia seem to be doing well to keep to themselves.
“You’re all finally awake,” Alex continues just as Jungkook joins him from around the corner.
He catches your gaze just as Alias replies.
“You actually drank the most last night, why are you so cheerful?” Alias asks in disbelief.
“Maybe because he’s getting married tomorrow,” Elisa laughs.
“Oh, yeah.”
“And I know how to hold my liquor, big brother.”
“And who taught you, little brother?” Alias sasses back.
You’re not paying much attention, still looking at Jungkook.
He smiles at you, a timid smile and he looks away before you can even smile back.
Forcing yourself to look away, you rejoin the conversation that follows but Jungkook takes a seat on the futon on the far end of the room where your back is turned to him.
The next half hour passes in conversation about the plans for tonight; what everyone’s wearing and the weather for tomorrow. With it being summer, the sun is really sun-ing and it’s been perfect. A bit unbearable at times but it’s nothing a portable fan and some shade couldn’t help.
Soon, the clock turns closer to 2pm and you know you ought to start getting ready, as does everyone else since dinner is at 7 sharp tonight. The room starts to empty and you decide to head up too. This way, you can squeeze in a nice nap and have enough time to get ready too.
As you get up from the table, you notice that Jungkook is no longer in the room but you don’t think about it. Maybe after the wedding, you’ll get a chance to speak to him about everything that’s happened between you guys but for now at least, you decide to focus your efforts on Alex and Thalia.
Sophia is still conked out when you get upstairs to her room but you wake her up knowing she’ll want time to freshen up before she needs to start getting ready. Groggily, she sits up in bed and frowns when she sees you back in your pyjamas.
“I’m taking a nap,” you say, answering her question prematurely. “Wake me up in an hour please.”
“Sure,” she croaks, reaching for her stanley.
As she sips on the water slowly, still sitting up in a sleepy haze, you get comfortable beside her and ask Alexa to play some white noise to help drown out everything else. As always, it works like a charm and you’re fast asleep after only a few moments.
“Wine.” Mrs Cirillo glances around, eyes narrowing as she looks at the tables. “We need wine.”
“Are you sure, mom?” Sophia asks, looking around. “There’s plenty to serve already.”
“Sweetheart, have you forgotten what guests we’re serving? There’s lots of family coming too.”
“Oh, right,” Sophia nods. “It’s been a slow day, mom.”
Mr Cirillo isn’t paying attention though, still looking around and she counts something under her breath before releasing a sigh with a frown. “I definitely ordered wine too, where is it?” She pulls out her phone. “Have either of you seen Charlie?”
“Charlie?” you ask.
“He’s the guy in charge of the catering,” Sophia answers for you before answering her mom. “Last I saw he was in the kitchen checking on the canapés, and mom I saw some crates when I was coming down earlier, maybe they’re still there?”
“Would you mind checking, darling? And please ask someone to bring them over if they are?” Mrs Cirillo says, still scrolling through her phone and looking concerned.
You’re sure there’s still 101 other things she’s worried about right now since guests are supposed to be arriving any moment and the wine is just one of those problems. It probably would have been easier if this was a more traditional rehearsal dinner but considering the majority of the guests are from out-of-town, the families thought it discourteous not to invite them tonight.
“We can bring them,” you offer, getting up from your seat.
“Oh, thank you, Y/N. Yes girls, if you could please it would be amazing.” She looks around once more but you can only see the house guests scattered around and no catering or even decor staff in sight. “Actually, find Alias” she says, looking back with a nod. “He can do it, I’m sure he’s in the kitchen stuffing his face anyway.”
“Sure, mom,” Sophia says, getting up with you. “Let us know if you need anything else.”
“Thank you girls,” she answers, attention returning to her phone as you both walk back towards the path that goes around the house to the front.
“I’m calling Alias,” Sophia says, pulling her phone out of her purse. “That doofus is around her somewhere.”
“I think the kitchen probably is our best shot but let’s find the wine first.”
“I’m gonna kill him when I see him though, he should be here already.”
“I’m sure he is,” you laugh, “he was down here two hours ago helping with everything.”
“Still, he knows how stressed mom gets.”
Just as you come around the corner towards the driveway, you spot Alias, sleeves rolled up and helping some of the caterers already.
“Yep, he does,” you answer as you and Sophia come to a pause.
Sophia just shrugs. “It’s the least that’s expected of him.”
“Fair enough,” you shrug too.
You know if Alias was getting married, Alex certainly would’ve been front and centre making sure everything was prepared and perfect for his brother's big day and Alias doing the same is, as Sophia put it, the least that’s expected of him.
Taking a crate of wine from one of the caterers unloading the van, Alias turns and smiles when he sees you both approaching. “Hey, Y/N, and hello princess,” he greets his sister as you both approach. “You finally decided to help.”
“It takes time to look this good,” Sophia says with a tut.
“This is supposed to be good?” Alias teases his little sister.
She simply rolls her eyes, taking a crate herself and you take one too being extra careful with the fairly heavy load. “Just take that inside. The guests are supposed to be here and mom is gonna freak if the wine isn’t sorted.”
“Yeah, caterers were running late but I’ve got some of the guys helping out here and there.”
Right on cue, Jungkook comes strolling out of the house and just like Alias, his sleeves are rolled up too. Why is he so damn good looking? You must really miss him because seeing him now has you feeling a desperate longing to at least just speak to him.
He gives a small smile as he comes out but he could just as easily be looking at Sophia or Alias who are both standing right in front of you.
“Good,” Sophia nods before glancing back at you. She purses her lips and looks back at Alias. “Come on then,” she says, brows raised. I’ll go check on the kitchen if they were all late.”
Without a word, Alias follows and suddenly it’s just you and Jungkook standing still in between the rush of a few panicked catering staff.
Now you’re certain he’s looking right at you and just like that, you can hear your heart beating in your chest. It’s that cursed Jungkook Effect again but this time it feels worse.
“Hey,” he steps forward, smiling hesitantly.
“Hi,” you answer. Consciously, you try to smile but your nerves seem to be running high. Gosh, you hate this. Jungkook is your best friend, it shouldn’t feel like this.
Jungkook steps forward again, walking until all that separates you is the crate you’re holding. You don’t miss the way his gaze skims your figure, looking back at your face by the time he’s in front of you. “Let me take that?” He asks it as a question but takes the heavy wooden box from you anyway, it’s one effortless motion and you feel his fingers brush yours as he does.
He’s looking at you carefully, searching for any clues he can use to dissect how you’re feeling. It makes you self-conscious even though you know Jungkook never has a bad word to say about you, but still, you have so much more to lose now and you’re already at a loss.
“Thanks,” you smile, unable to look away from him despite how you’re feeling. You really have missed him and the past few days have proven to you just how much.
For a moment, neither of you say anything – a thousand unspoken words pass your mind and you feel your pulse rising, ushering you to say something but what? You wouldn’t know where to start, even though you know you want to say something. Anything.
“You look beautiful.” Jungkook’s gaze remains rooted on you as he says it, soft and sure.
Releasing a small breath – perhaps one of relief – you smile. “Thank you.” And just like that, your pulse slows down, your nerves subside and you’re calm.
Focused entirely on you, Jungkook notices the change and reciprocates. His lips curl into a smile, not so big but enough for it to reach his eyes but it’s familiar to you and it’s unexpectedly comforting.“You’re welcome,” he says.
The train of thought in your mind slows down and something about the way Jungkook is looking at you now tells you everything is going to be okay. This must be why, you think, feeling all your worries melt away – it’s no surprise that you’re in love with him, with the way he’s looking at you now, you wonder if he’s always looked at you with this much care and adoration.
For the first time, you see Alex’s point and now you think, was he right?
As though he can read your thoughts, Jungkook’s expression changes and he says your name, pausing with bated breath.
“Yes?”
“Can we talk?”
Suddenly, you’re flustered. “Well, yes, I–now?”
“Um…” Jungkook turns around, looking at the hurried staff and back at the house. “Later,” he says, looking back at you. “After dinner?”
You nod. “Sure.”
“Okay.” He nods too, smiling. “I should probably take this inside now,” he says, still not looking away from you. “But I’ll see you later.”
Again, you nod, and this time you can’t help but laugh, feeling so relieved that things feel more normal than before. His smile grows when he hears you laugh, and he nods once more before turning away and walking back into the house.
“Thank you all for coming tonight and please enjoy the rest of the evening!”
A loud echo of cheers and conversation follows after Mr Cirillo closes off the final speech, with you and your friends included, all raising your glasses before taking a sip of your champagne.
“I can’t believe my baby brother’s getting married,” Alias says, having already emptied his glass. A flute of champagne is a mere two sips to him at most.
“Feeling sentimental big brother?” Sophia asks, smiling.
“You know what? I think I am,” he says, turning to her with a smile. “You better not be next, I’m not ready for you, okay?”
She laughs. “I’m not even dating anyone.”
“Good, keep it that way.” He looks ahead again but puts his arm around his little sister and kisses her forehead.
Neither of them say a word but Sophia lets him pull her in, a grimacing smile on her face. As siblings, the Cirillo’s are rarely physically affectionate with each other, especially these two, so it warms your heart to see it.
“Seems you're not the only one feeling sentimental.” Sophia points at their mom who is hugging Thalia and wiping away a few tears as Alex laughs, no doubt teasing his mom.
“Alright, they're not married yet so no tears tonight guys…” Alias looks at you guys and you all agree.
You look around the table and at Jungkook who sits a few seats away from you on the round table, noticing how he seems so much brighter than before. He looks your way too and you exchange smiles, still timid but no longer anxious.
Just then, ABBA plays loud on the speakers and Alias is ushering everyone up and to the dance floor.
“Okay, hang on,” you laugh as he drags you out. “I need to pee!”
You feel a little bit tipsy having had a few to drink now but Alias holds you and pulls you onto the dance floor. Sophia and Jungkook are right there behind you, as well as Kelce, Shay, Elisa and some of the others. Sophia takes your hand as the pre chorus starts and you all belt out the lines in unison.
There’s not a soul out there, no one to hear my prayers! Gimme, gimme, gimme a man after midnight Won't somebody help me chase the shadows away?!
You get carried away with the chorus, dancing and spinning along as you always do, and just when the chorus plays, Alias takes a hold of you as you dance, swaying you together left and right while you laugh gleefully. Laughing with you, he then not so subtly twirls you in the direction of Jungkook and with a little push, you end up bumping into his chest.
He looks down at you, smiling wide. Still mid-sentence of the song, you laugh and he joins you as you finish the chorus. As the music slows into the next verse, Your friends are still singing and dancing but now, you can only focus on the feeling of Jungkook holding you, one hand on your lower back and the other on your arm.
You know it must be the lights around you but the way his eyes twinkle have you feeling weak in the knees. With a smile still gracing his lips, he tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ears and that’s all it takes for you to feel shy. It would feel silly if the context were different but then his gaze drops to your lips for a second and you suddenly feel butterflies in your tummy as he locks eyes with you again.
The moment is brief and from next to you, your friends start to shout out the lines again and Jungkook and you join in. You feel his hand let go of your arm and as you step to the side, one stays on your lower back but only for a moment.
Sophia catches your eye immediately and grins knowingly before she nods in the direction of the house. You know what she means and as the song comes to an end and the next one starts, you excuse yourself.
“Hey!” Alias calls over the loud music. ”This is your favourite, where are you going?!”
“It’s not mine, it’s my dads,” you laugh.
“Ah, yeah.” Alias, nods, undoubtedly remembering your dad’s 45th birthday party. “Let me find him,” he grins, walking off in the opposite direction.
Jungkook is looking your way as he dances with Dillon and Shay, and you smile before following Sophia as she tugs your hand again.
Many people have had more than a few glasses of wine so you have to excuse yourself as lots of guests bump into you, no doubt enjoying the evening as much as you are.
“What was that?!” Sophia asks excitedly as you both walk up towards the house.
“I don't even know,” you say. Still giddy from all the excitement.
“Has he spoken to you yet?”
“Not yet. He said he would after the party, so I guess I'll just wait for him to come to me.”
“Well, he totally looked like he was gonna kiss you.”
“Sophia!”
“What?” She laughs. “We all know he wants to.”
“Actually we don’t,” you say, somewhat soberly.
It’s true, he said he wants to talk to you but he didn’t say what about. It feels easy to be hopeful that he's going to say what you want him to say and Sophia isn’t wrong – he did look like he wanted to kiss you back there, but still, there’s something stopping you from feeling hopeful.
“Oh, come on, this is the moment we've all been waiting for,” she says excitedly, squeezing your arm.
“Maybe,” you laugh, trying your best to push it to the back of your mind. “But let’s just focus on tonight and make sure you drink some water please.”
‘Oh yeah,” she nods, “can’t be looking glum for tomorrow!”
“No, you can’t.”
She sighs, stopping outside the main bathroom on the ground floor, one of many in the grand estate. “Okay, go, I’m gonna go upstairs.”
“Okay.”
After a moment, you’re drying your hands and stepping out of the bathroom. Sophia’s still not here so you walk towards the staircase just around the corner. Just as you do, she comes down, adjusting her dress as she walks.
“You look lovely,” you reassure her.
“Thanks, boo,” she says, jumping down the last two steps now that she's exchanged her heels for flats.
“Ooh, wait.” You hold her still as you fix her hair parting for her, carefully moving it back to where she initially styled it…
“She’s not here tonight but she’ll be here tomorrow, of course.” Two quiet voices grow louder as they probably walk in the direction of the loo.
“I wonder if they’ll announce themselves as a couple. Jungkook has always seemed to be the more private type.”
Hearing Jungkook’s name makes you pause and Sophia frowns at you but her question is answered as the conversation outside is continued, and she too, goes still as she listens.
“Well, yes, Jungkook is private, but Valentina? She would announce it to everyone if she could.”
What?
“Ah, yes, it’ll probably be all over their social media pages, whatever it is they’re using today.”
“Instagram I believe. In fact, she’s probably already published something. With the way they were kissing for all the world to see as she took him up to her room.”
Your heart drops.
“Oh, I heard, Josepehine said she walked past them as they went into her room and she had no shame, even laughing in front of her as pulled his tie off.”
Now you start to feel sick and the anxiety comes rushing in.
“Kids these days, so different from us.”
“I remember I had to hide it from my parents for months!”
“And they still caught you, ha!”
Together, whoever they are laugh and their voices grow more distant as they pass by.
Sophia’s expression has dropped and she whispers your name.
You stare at her blankly, still processing what you’ve just heard.
“Hey,” Sophia says hushedly, taking your arms, “they don’t know what they’re talking about.” She looks around the corner before looking back at you. “It was just Mrs Morgan and her friend, they’re stupid and love to gossip about anything.”
You can tell she’s trying her best to make you feel better but it won’t work.
“You know what they’re like, they get a tiny hint at anything and they run with it, it’s not true–”
“It is.” Your voice sounds hopeless, even to you.
Sophia pauses, confusion written all over her face. “What?”
“I’m sure of it.” You look up at her, the memory coming back to you.
You were at the party and Alias told you Jungkook was downstairs at the lounge where you'd seen Valentina kissing some guy in the elevator. When Alias told you Jungkook was last at the lounge around the same time, you thought of the possibility then but stopped yourself because how could it be? You could almost laugh at yourself now you’ve heard it from someone else – it must've been true because Jungkook didn't show up once that night, nor did Valentina after you saw her.
Relaying the memory of the night to Sophia in somewhat of a haze thanks to the drinks you’ve had, she simply stares at you for a few seconds before shaking her head.
“No, that doesn't mean anything, Y/N.” She says it so surely and you want to believe her.
“But it would make sense.”
“No, well yes, but even then, actually no,” she says, conflicted, before taking your hands again. “Look, it can't make sense because there is no way Jungkook slept with Val, he’s in love with you.”
You wish you could believe it, especially because you want to. She’s right that it makes no sense and that's considering Jungkook’s character alone – he wouldn’t do that, not to himself and not to you. But right now, tonight of all nights, you don’t want to think about it.
“Let’s get a drink,” you mumble, taking her hand and walking back towards the party.
She follows but her concern remains. “I’ll go talk to him, I know it’s not true–”
“No, not tonight,” you say, shaking your head. “Let’s just focus on the wedding, okay?”
She hesitates before giving in. “Okay, fine.”
It’s a quiet walk back to the garden but Sophia takes you through the house towards the kitchen to get you a drink and then to the path that leads to the poolhouse, avoiding the party. You can still see everything as you walk and you catch a sight of Jungkoook and Alias dancing together. There’s a happy smile on Jungkook’s face that makes you feel a deep sense of longing and just like that, everything hurts again.
Tearing your eyes away from the scene, you keep walking and stop with Sophia by the sunbeds. You sit down, putting your purse next to you as you take a big sip of your drink and she sits in front of you, watching you. “I don’t want to believe it,” you say quietly, after a moment.
“Then don’t. I know I don’t.”
You look at her and see she means it. Tears well unbidden in your eyes and you have to take a deep breath and look up at the night sky to compose yourself. You absolutely refuse to cry any more – it’s stupid and annoying that things keep going in circles like this.
“Oh, Y/N, babe. “ Sophia pulls out some tissue from her purse to give to you and you use them to carefully get rid of the tears.
With another deep breath, you look back at her. “I’m fine, this is all just stupid.”
Just as she’s about to comfort you again, two giggling voices come out of the pool house and you look up to see Alex and Thalia, holding arms and cooing each other as smitten as ever as they walk out.
“Heeey!” Alex calls happily as he sees you both but he halts almost immediately, noticing that you’re not okay. “Hey,” he says again, now with much worry and confusion in his voice as he comes and sits next to you.
Thalia shares the same expression as her fiance and she sits on your other side. “What happened?”
You feel stupid and annoyed at yourself now. The last thing you want is to worry the bride and groom the night before their big day but you also know that they won’t let up now that they’ve seen you. Wordlessly, you look at Sophia and she tells them in a short summary what you just heard.
“I don’t believe it,” Alex says as surely as his sister did.
Thalia takes your hand. “Neither do I. Do you?”
“I don’t know,” you answer honestly.
They all stay quiet for a moment and all you can hear is the music closeby, with your favourite song now playing. You wonder if Jungkook is looking for you, having always known you love to dance when it comes on.
Then Alex gets up. “I’m gonna ask him.”
You get up straight away. “No, please don’t.” You look back at Thalia too. “It’s the night before your wedding, I don’t want to think about it, we can deal with it after.” You look back at Alex. “Please.”
He sighs and Thalia squeezes your hand. “Of course,” she says, reassuring you as you sit back down. In doing so, you miss the look that Alex gives Sophia and the silent exchange that the two siblings share as she nods her head in the direction of the party.
“Alright, but I’ll get you another drink,” he says.
Mindlessly, you nod, too distracted to realise that your glass is still half full. As he walks off, Sophia moves next to you too.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Thalia asks, rubbing your back soothingly.
“Not really,” you say. “I don’t think I should even be upset over it, it’s completely one-sided and he never said anything for me to believe otherwise.”
Thalia is about to say something and you’re sure she’s about to use the same argument that Sophia gave earlier – he’s in love with you so he wouldn’t sleep with someone else – but she stops herself and you’re kinda grateful for it. You don’t need to hear that he loves you when he hasn’t even said it to himself.
The look on his face when you danced together returns to your mind and you feel your chest tighten. You really thought that was the look of someone in love but you must’ve been wrong.
“You’re allowed to be upset,” Sophia says, “but don’t be until you know what actually happened.”
Quietly, you sigh.
“She’s right,” Thalia agrees. “I know what you heard makes sense to you but it’s not something Jungkook would do.”
“I know,” you exhale, confused and now tired. “But how could I know for sure? He’s barely been talking to me since that night with Lawrence.”
“True,” Sophia nods. “That’s kind of silly of him.”
“Right?” you say, feeling a multitude of emotions now. “And even then, I did try to make things okay but he wasn’t listening to me.”
“You mean when he kept saying you should go out with Lawrence?”
“Yeah, like, why would he not just listen to me?!” you ask, now adding irritated and exasperated to your exhaustive list of emotions.
“True,” Sophia agrees. “Honestly, guys are just dumb.”
“They are,” Thalia agrees. “And truthfully,” she adds, glancing at you. “They’re even more dumb when they’re in love.”
You look at her as Sophia just hums in approval. “Whatever,” you sigh, shaking your head. “Thanks guys but I’m just not gonna think about it until after tomorrow.” You smile at them.
Although they can see right through you, they don’t press it further.
“You still wanna dance?” Sophia asks, a playful lilt to her voice as she nudges you.
You’re about to say no but the last thing you wanna do is be the reason your friends don’t have fun tonight. Sophia is the groom’s sister but she’s also your best friend and you know if you choose to retire she would join you so you don’t have to be alone, and Thalia would worry about you all night too.
“Sure,” you nod with a bigger smile. “But another drink first,” you say, downing what’s left in your glass now that the blissful effects of your previous drinks seem to have worn off.
Sophia laughs, getting up. “Of course.”
Together, you walk back up the path, Sophia changing the subject to what Thalia was doing with Alex in the pool house.
“We didn’t do anything,” she laughs. “We just wanted some alone time.”
“You’re about to marry the guy, that’s the rest of your life with him.”
Thalia smiles. “Still couldn’t be enough.”
Sophia laughs. “Okay, I don’t know whether to be cringed out because that was actually cute.”
“It is cute. I’ve put it in my vows too actually,” Thalia says, proud.
“I can’t wait to hear them,” you tell her. “I’ll probably cry too.”
“Not more than my brother,” Sophia says. “Alex almost cried seeing you today, Thalia.”
“He told me, but honestly I think I’ll be crying myself, I just hope I don’t ruin my makeup.”
“Who did you book for it?” you ask.
The conversation shifts to makeup artists and hair stylists as you all take a few more drinks and together make your way over to the dessert table. You don’t have much of an appetite so you’re about to reapply some lip gloss only to realise you left your purse on the sunbed.
“You want some, Y/N?” Thalia holds out a plate for you but you decline.
“I’m alright, I’m just gonna go get my purse, guys, I left it on the sunbed.”
Sophia looks back at you as she takes a macaron. “Want me to come with?”
“No, all good, I’ll be back in a minute,” you say, already walking off in the opposite direction, past the crowd surrounding the desserts table and onto the path that leads away from the party.
“Tell me it’s not true.”
Alex’s voice is the first thing Jungkook hears before he even turns around.
“Hey,” he smiles, holding out the drink he’d just picked up for himself, only to frown when he sees his friend's expression.
“Please.”
Jungkook has only seen Alex annoyed a handful of times over their decade long friendship and right now, Alex looks pretty close to being annoyed. “What are you talking about?” he asks, concerned.
Alex glances around. There’s no one nearby who could overhear since they’re standing at a drinks table close to the house with only servers around, but Jungkook moves himself anyway.
Putting his glass down, he walks away from the table and Alex walks with him. After a few yards when there’s definitely no one in earshot, Alex stops.
“On the cruise,” he starts, looking straight at his friend. “Did you sleep with Valentina?”
Jungkook looks startled and equally offended. “What? Of course not!” he answers immediately, now with increasing concern.
Alex shares the same concern, evident in his tone. “Then why do people think you did?!”
“I don’t know! Where is this coming from?!”
“Some of the other guests were talking about it.”
“Which guests? How would they know anything and why would they lie?!”
“I don’t know,” Alex sighs, shaking his head. “They must be confused.”
“How did you hear it? Who said it? I can talk to them,” Jungkoook says, already looking around at the people scattered across the expanse of the garden.
Alex pauses, biting his lip. “Sophia overheard them.”
Jungkook goes still. That means… “And… has Y/N…?”
Alex nods, lips pursed before Jungkook even finishes his sentence. “They were together.”
Jungkook stares at his friend completely confused as a hundred thoughts race through his mind – all of them stop at you. “Fuck,” he sighs. “Did she believe it?”
“I’m not sure, but she said she saw Valentina in the lounge, kissing someone going into the elevator. She couldn't see their face and then a few hours later, she was looking for you and some of the guys told her you were in the lounge… the same time–”
“The same time she saw Valentina,” Jungkook exhales slowly, feeling deflated. “I keep fucking up,” he says quietly after a moment. “I should’ve just told her the truth.”
“Which is?” Alex asks, despite already knowing the answer.
Jungkook finds a small smile on his lips even given the direness of the situation. “I love her.” He says it once and then smiles a bit wider.
Alex finds himself suddenly grinning. “I knew it.”
Jungkook chuckles. “Was I that obvious?”
“To everyone but her, my friend.” Alex looks at Jungkook, brows raised.
Just like that, Jungkook knows what he needs to do. “Help me find her.”
You’re grateful you’re only wearing kitten heels as you walk along the path but it would’ve been a better idea to change into flats like Sophia did, especially since tomorrow you’ll be in high heels for the better portion of the day.
“Y/N!”
Someone calls your name and you pause, turning around.
It’s Jungkook. He’s jogging to catch up with you from the rest of the party. He must be coming to talk to you now that the night is coming to an end soon. Given how fast he is, it’s only a few short seconds before he’s in front of you, breathing a bit faster but not out of breath thanks to his perfect stamina.
You don’t know how you should be feeling right now. A part of you is angry at him for everything that has happened – you didn’t ask to start a fake relationship with him only for him to be the one to tell the truth about it because he thought you should be talking to Lawrence instead. And sure, you agreed to the fake relationship, but you’re not the reason for everything that came after and even though Jungkook had good intentions, he did disregard your feelings when you told him multiple times that you don’t like Lawrence romantically at all anymore. Sure, he couldn’t know it was because you have feelings for him instead, but that doesn't mean it was justified.
Another part of you just wants to have things go back to how they were because you really do miss your best friend and there’s nothing more you want than to have him back.
Then there’s the part of you that wonders if he really slept with Valentina. You could believe it, it all adds up and despite how unreliable the source is, you did see Valentina with someone, who now when you think about it, looked very much like Jungkook. The thought of it makes your stomach churn.
“Jungkook, I don’t wanna talk right now,” you mutter, turning away.
“Wait, I really–”
“What?” you say, turning abruptly and stopping Jungkook from reaching for you. Immediately, you recoil, feeling bad. “Sorry.” You didn’t mean for it to come out like that.
“It’s okay,” Jungkook says, now hesitating.
The look on his face makes you feel even worse than before and you swallow hard. You’re still mad at him so without another word, you turn and walk away, and this time, Jungkook doesn’t stop you. With every step you take a deep breath and calm yourself down, and then–
“Do you honestly believe it?”
You stop in your tracks. Slowly, you turn around. “What?”
He watches you carefully. “Do you really believe it? That I–,” he pauses, sighing. “That I slept with Valentina?”
You notice that he sounds hurt that it’s something he even has to ask you, and still, hearing it from him hurts far more. “What else am I supposed to believe?” you ask, feeling your walls crumbling but your tone remains rather defensive. “You never said anything otherwise.”
After your many years of friendship, Jungkook knows you and he knows that right now, you’re mad at him but you just need an answer. He knows you have every right to be annoyed at him because he hasn’t been honest with you about anything and it’s because of him that all of this happened in the first place.
“I’m telling you now,” he says, taking a step forward. “It’s not true.” He sees your expression flicker but nothing more. “Nothing happened, I literally spoke with her for five minutes that night before she went back to her room with some other guy.”
Relief — that’s the first thing you feel as you exhale a breath you didn’t even know you were holding. “Okay?” You shrug, suddenly not sure what to say or do now he’s revealed the truth – you didn’t think this far ahead, having only thought of the worst. “Good for you,” you carry on, crossing your arms. “I don’t care anyway.”
“Yes you do,” Jungkook says, plain as day.
You flare, albeit lightly.
Traces of a smile appear on his face and he carries on. “You do care,” he says, stepping forward slowly, this time without stopping. “And I’m sorry you had to hear it how you did, I know I’d feel shit if I heard the same thing about you.”
What? You’re trying to figure it out – does he know?
Jungkook sighs, smile growing and he stops close to you. You almost step back but stop yourself. He looks down at you with a familiar adoration in his expression.
Softly, he says your name. “You’ve been my best friend for years now, how long has it been since I’ve even looked at anyone else, yet alone slept with them?”
Saying nothing, you shake your head with a small shrug. A long time.
“Heck, I don’t even know myself,” Jungkook laughs softly. “All I know is that for me, my attention was always somewhere else.”
Your head tilts, brows creasing just slightly. “What are you saying?” you ask, feeling your heart rate speed up as you wait for the answer you want more than anything to hear.
Jungkook’s eyes roam your face for a second, the smile still carved on his lips and he exhales. “I’m in love with you.” You feel his fingers curl around your palms as he takes your hands. “I’m in love with you and I have been for a long time, longer than I even know.”
You say nothing, lips parted as though you want to but nothing comes out as no complete thoughts form in your head. You just feel your heart hammering in your chest and a fuzzy wave of warmth rushes ripples through you.
“I…”
“You don’t have to say anything now,” he says, “I just had to tell you, and again, I'm sorry.”
You’re grateful that you’re standing close enough to the dance floor because if it weren't for the music playing you're sure he would be able to hear how loud your heart is beating in your chest.
“Y/N!” Another voice calls your name from close by. It’s your mom.
Jungkook turns around, letting go of your hands and she waves when she sees you, smiling as she approaches. “Darling, come take a photo with your father and I,” she grins, completely unaware she’s interrupting anything. “Jungkook, you look dashing,” she smiles at him as she takes your hand. “Nice to see you two have made up from whatever you were arguing about too,” she says, looking at you in question but she doesn't wait for a response from him. Her giddiness tells you she’s had more than her usual liquor intake.
Still reeling from what Jungkook just told you, you just nod and follow wordlessly as she pulls you towards your dad.
“Ah, there she is, my beautiful daughter,” he beams, “come here.”
You wish you could be more present as your parents share a sweet moment of appreciation for you, but you just smile and nod, hugging and kissing them in return as you all take a bunch of selfies together. Your smile is genuine enough though, Jungkook’s confession replaying over and over in your head as it becomes more real.
He loves me.
“Mom, dad,” you say, interrupting them both as they play around with some filters.
“Yes, honey,” they respond in unison, still slightly distracted.
“Um… Jungkook told me he loves me.”
Both your parents' heads snap up together and you see the biggest smile on your moms face and a look of pure surprise on your dads.
“That kid finally did it,” you hear him say quietly to himself as his expression changes to a smile.
“He did?” your mom cries excitedly, squeezing your arm. “What did you say?”
“Well, you called me then to come here–”
“What?” your dad interrupts, disappointed. “Oh, honey, we’re sorry.”
“It’s okay, I can find him now, but dad…” you frown, thinking about what he just said to himself. “Did you know?”
Your dad shrugs with a smirk. “I had a feeling. A strong one.” He nods in your moms direction and she smiles proudly. “Your mom did too.”
You can't help but laugh. “Everyone apart from me it seems.”
“Well go find him now then,” your mom ushers.”Want me to help you?”
“It’s okay.” Getting up, you kiss both of their cheeks before turning away to go and find Jungkook.
Many of the guests have returned to their hotels or homes now and it’s much easier to find someone from across the garden. As you get closer to the house, you see Thalia and Sophia sitting on the veranda and they grin when they see you coming.
“So,” Thalia says as they sit on the seats in front of you. “Jungkook found you?”
You look at her and Sophia, unable to contain your happiness. “He said loves me,” you say out loud.
They look surprised for a split second before squealing in excitement.
“He finally told you?”
“This is so exciting”
“Mhm,” you nod, laughing. You’re sure they must’ve already heard it from Jungkook first, given their expressions when you approached, but you appreciate their excitement nonetheless.
“What did you say?”
“I didn’t.” I should have. “My mom came.”
“Oh.” Their expressions have dropped ever so slightly and you feel it.
“I should have, right?”
“Well, maybe something but your mom came so it's fine,” Sophia says. “Find him now.”
You’re just about to spring into action when THalia stops you.
“The guys have all gone upstairs, Jungkook too,” she says, frowning apologetically. “We’re not supposed to see any of them until the ceremony tomorrow.”
“That's a family tradition,” Sophia says, waving her hand. “But we have an exception here.”
You wish more than anything to see Jungkook now but you also don't want to disrespect their family – you know the kids won't mind but perhaps Mr and Mrs Cirillo, and Thalia’s parents.
“No, it's fine,” you say, smiling reassuringly. “It's just one day, and at least I know the truth now.”
“Fair enough,” they agree.
“Wow, we might have another wedding again next year now,” Sophia grins, winking at you.
You laugh, feeling a wave of joy as you lean back into the cushions and tell the girls exactly how your conversation with Jungkook went.
“You may now kiss the bride.”
Laughter and cheer erupts around you as Alex ever so sweetly kisses his bride, cheeks cupped in his hands. It’s a lingering kiss, a sweet one and it has your heart about to burst with joy.
Across from you, Jungkook is laughing too, cheering for his best friend and he catches your eye for the nth time now and grins, making you smile even wider.
As the bride and groom depart for their photographs, Sophia drags you to the bar and you both get a drink while recapping the events of the morning and then she gets summoned away for the family photos which must mean that the groomsmen are done with their pictures too.
“I’ll come with you.”
“Of course you will,” she laughs, knowingly. “Does this mean you're finally gonna tell him you love him too?”
“I think so,” you grin. “As long as I don't chicken out.”
“You better not, otherwise I’ll tell him for you.”
“Don't worry. I don't think I will.”
“Well definitely not, I know you're so gonna get laid tonight.”
“Hey” you laugh. “I mean it would be nice but I don't care either way.”
“That's sweet, she says, “but please, don't be coy. After all this waiting it would be an injustice to not get laid.”
Suppressing a laugh, you nod. “Okay, noted.”
As you approach the quiet gardens, you spot some of the other groomsmen, Alias included, but not Jungkook. Alias sees you and answers your question before you can even ask it. “He went to look for you.”
Ah,” you nod. “Thanks.”
Saying a temporary goodbye, you walk in the opposite direction away from the gardens and back towards the venue. It's so beautiful here with tall oak trees spread across the lush and perfectly manicured grounds surrounding the elegant mansion. You’re momentarily distracted by the views that you don't notice jungkook as he walks out from around the mansion, smiling as he approaches.
When you do spot him, he’s stopped in the path ahead of the fountain, holding his own bouquet of flowers in front of his chest. Smiling, you approach him slowly. “Hey.”
“Hey,” he says, unable to fight back his smile.
You stop in front of him, as close as he was to you yesterday and gaze at him.
“You look beautiful,” he says quietly. “Again. You look beautiful everyday,” he adds with a shake of his head.
“Thank you. You look pretty handsome today too.”
“Thanks.” He looks down shyly, lowering the bouquet. “These are for you.”
Looking down at the bouquet, it’s full and in bloom of all your favourite flowers and you know that’s not a coincidence. “They’re lovely.” Taking them from him, you admire them a little longer before looking back up.
“I'm glad you like them. He takes them back from you and places them on the bench beside you.
You’re confused for a second but when he turns back, he wraps both arms around your waist and pulls you into him, head burying into your neck. Muscle memory serves you well as you melt into his embrace, his scent engulfing you as your arms wrap around his neck as his chest presses flush against you.
He hums softly and you reckon you could stay here forever. Now you wonder, how did you never realise you were in love with him? Why did it take all of this unnecessary awkwardness and distance for you to know why you’ve always been so unavailable to others? Jungkook has always been the one person whose company you've craved when no matter what the occasion and the only one who really feels like home.
“I missed you,” you murmur, fingers gently moving across his neck as you move.
He keeps you close, arms tight around you. “I know, me too.” His eyes dip to your lips.
“Let's never do that again.”
“Agreed,” he nods, smiling with a wince. “Even though I know it was really my fault.”
“Oh, 100%” you say, feeling the space between you grow smaller and smaller. “All your fault.”
Now, you're looking at his lips.
Jungkook notices and he moves his hand up, slowly sweeping your neck until he’s cupping your cheek in his broad palm, the other arm still holding you tight. He smiles ever so slightly, and when you look up, you can see he’s waiting for something for you. So you nod, and that's all he needs.
He closes the space between you, lips meeting yours in a gentle brush once. Lips parted, you pull away briefly, moving your hand up to cradle his jaw before leaning in again for a more deliberate kiss. He hums, softly, and returns for more, one by one getting longer and more keen. The seconds melt away into minutes and you don't quite know how long you were standing here for, you only know that it feels perfect.
“I love you,” Jungkook murmurs, pecking your lips once more, then your nose and forehead.
You squeeze your arms around his waist. “Say it again.”
He chuckles, sweeping your hair back to kiss your cheek. “I love you,” he murmurs low into your ear, hot breath warming your skin. “I love you, I love you, I love you so much, princess.”
Biting your lip, you find yourself suddenly feeling something you haven't felt in a long time, except recently that night in bed with him on the cruise – a feverish desire for more.
Holding his face in front of you, you kiss his lips. “I love you too.”
He blinks, endearingly. “I was waiting for that.”
You sigh with an air of amused disappointment. “Why couldn't we have just realised sooner? It would have made our lives so much easier.”
“I think I always knew actually.” He takes your hand and you sit down at the bench. “At least for a long time, I knew there was something.”
“Really?”
He hums, putting his arm around you and you lean into him. “I just didn't really let myself think about it much though, I didn’t wanna change things in case you didn't feel the same, which Ii don't think you did.” he thinks out loud, honestly.
For a moment, you're quiet. “I did.”
He looks at you.
“I don't know from when, but I think I just didn't realise.” Playing with the ring on his finger, you smile. “I probably should have just listened to Alex from the start.”
“Alex?”
“Mhm,” you nod. “He’d been telling me for months that you were into me, I just didn't see it.”
“Ah,'' Jungkook nods, pink tingeing his cheeks as he looks down.
“But now we’re good,” you say, cocking your head and smiling.
“Now we’re good,” he repeats, sealing his sentence with a kiss.
The evening reception goes on late into the night, later than you expect it to. It’s 8pm by the time all the guests turn up and within the next two hours, you've gone through all the emotions thanks to a round of heartfelt speeches from all the family and friends. Alias and Sophia’s speech made you tear up the most and you didn't even dare look in a mirror knowing your makeup is probably already so far beyond repair but luckily Sophia has magic hands and has a technique to apply concealer over powder, so not all was lost.
Except now you can feel yourself tearing up again as Alex and Thalia have their first dance, gazing lovingly at each other while Etta James’ At Last plays in the background with a live band.
“They’re so perfect together,” you murmur, leaning your head back against Jungkook’s shoulder as you watch them from a raised platform close to the band.
He wraps his arms a little tighter around your waist. “Are we perfect together?”
“Of course,” you grin, looking up at him.
He wrinkles his nose, about to lean in to kiss you when someone coughs quietly next to you. Turning around, you see Valentina with a drink in her hand, coughing again as though she was just choking.
“Are you okay?” You take her drink from her.
“Fine,” she says, waving a hand as she clears her throat and straightens up. “I was actually coming over here to congratulate you since you’ve evidently made up now and have finally realised you’re both stupid in love with each other.”
Jungkook and you smile sheepishly.
“Then I heard you talking and gosh…” Valentina winces, although her eyes twinkle with amusement as she looks back and forth between you. “You really are disgustingly cute together.”
You let out a snort of laughter. “Thanks, Val.”
You feel Jungkook caress the small of your back. “Thanks.”
“Yeah.” She swiftly retrieves her drink from you. . “I’m glad you worked it out. See you later, guys.” She struts off, as perfect as she always is and disappears into the crowd.
The band closes off the song and everyone applauds, cheering for the happy couple.Then, the familiar melody of Elvis Presley Can't Help Falling In Love starts to play.
“Wanna dance?”
Scanning the crowd, you consider it. Mrs Cirillo is going around, inviting people to the dance floor, pulling some too.
“I feel kinda shy.”
“What?” Jungkook steps next to you, taking your hand. “Why?”
“I don't know,” you laugh. “It’s fine, lets go.”
“You sure?” Jungkook furrows his brows. “We don't have to.”
“No, I want to,” you reassure him.
Just then, someone approaches from behind Jungkook. “Just who I wanted to see.” Mrs Cirillo is beaming as she approaches you. “I knew you two would fall in love eventually.” She takes your hands and pulls you to the centre of the dance floor. “I just don’t know why it took you so long,” she says before kissing your cheek, then Jungkook’s. “Bless you both,” she grins, before she’s off again.
“I guess we have no choice now.” You step closer to Jungkook and he pulls you in by the waist as your arms hang loosely over his neck. Neither of you say anything as the song plays, the words speaking volumes for you instead – as cheesy as it may seem.
Take my hand Take my whole life, too For I can't help falling in love with you
Fittingly, Jungkook breaks out into a cheesy smile and you both laugh. He pulls you in and together, you share your first dance as a couple. “So,” Jungkook clears his throat, “just to clarify, in case it wasn’t clear, you’re my girlfriend now.”
You feign surprise. “I am?”
Jungkook pouts his lips, his expression a mix of amusement and mock annoyance. “Don’t be mean.”
Giggling, you kiss his cheek.”Ask me nicely.”
Jungkook sighs dramatically but plays along with a smirk. “Princess, would you please do me the honour of being my girlfriend? So I can love you and spoil you forever?”
With a smug grin, you nod. “Of course.”
“Just don’t be that annoying couple who do everything together,” Alias’s voice comes from behind you. Turning around, you see Alex, Thalia and Sophia having gathered too, all wearing knowing smiles.
“Weren’t they always that annoying couple?” Alex says, brows arching as he smiles as smug as when he first saw you and Jungkook walking into the hall together holding hands. Being the groom on his wedding day, he never got to say anything to you then, but you knew he knew as he nudged Thalia and gestured to your direction. She looked like she was about to cry when she saw you together, though you suppose she was already feeling emotional from the ceremony prior. Still, it was heartwarming to see your friends so happy for you.
“That’s true,” Thalia agrees.
“At least this time they won’t be sulking around and pining over each other,” Sophia banters.
Alias cringes in jest. “No, instead they’ll be wearing matching pyjamas, or worse yet, slippers.”
He’s definitely referring to the matching sweaters you got for Jungkook and yourself last year – and that was before you were a couple.
“Can’t forget the His and Hers mugs,” Jungkook amuses them as they all groan playfully.
Entertained, you join in. “Oh and the keychains,” you add. “Jewellery too.”
“I’ve already ordered matching charm bracelets,” Jungkook winks.
“Alright, we’ve heard enough,” Sophia laughs.
Alias clicks his tongue. “I definitely know what you two are getting for Christmas this year.”
“But–” Sophia wags her finger between you both, “–just give us a heads up if there’s any proposals on the horizon, I can’t do another wedding cruise single.”
Alias raises a finger. “I second that.”
Jungkook takes the lead as he responds. “Will do, but don’t take too long.” He has a mischievous glint in his eye and squeezes your hand. ‘I know I’m not.”
The fact that you��re not surprised by his answer is what actually surprises you. Smiling, dazed, you simply close your eyes as he pecks your cheek.
Meanwhile, Thalia squeals, excited, as Alex pats Jungkook’s arm, laughing as he encourages him.
His brother on the other hand, groans, though there’s a heavy tone of cheerfulness in his voice as he pretends to complain, “they’ve already started.”
Sophia blinks, “I wish I could be grossed out but damn it, I’m not.”
If it weren't for you being on cloud nine right now, you might actually feel sorry for making your friends put up with all of this cringeness, but as it so happens, you're revelling in it. “You might wanna get used to it, guys.” You pull Jungkook in closer, returning to a slow dance as the next song plays. After exchanging a few more playful words, Jungkook and you are left alone again, dancing to the music.
“You meant that?” you ask.
Jungkook doesn’t miss a beat. “Yes. If you’re sure you want it too.”
Gaze locked on him, you nod. “How could I not?”
As Jungkook's smile lights up, he places a soft kiss on your lips, so soft that it barely feels like it happened. Hand on the back of his neck, you push down and keep him three for another. He obliges, letting you kiss him freely for all the world to see and quite frankly, you probably forget about your surroundings a bit too soon.
“Mm, wait.” You pull back, taking a deep breath. “Let’s pause,” you say, continuing to dance along with everyone else.
Jungkook’s eyes go round. “Why? You okay?”
“Yeah, I just… um…” You press your fingers into your palm, exhaling as you look down. “I’ll want more if we keep going.” You feel slightly embarrassed as you mumble out your response but Jungkook’s immediate reply makes you look up, surprised.
“Me too.”
“Really?”
“Of course,” he chuckles, pulling in his lower lip with his teeth as he comes to a slow stop and looks at you.
“What?”
“Let's get a drink,” he says, not even waiting for you to respond. There are more people dancing now so he weaves you through them, over to the mostly empty tables. Then towards the double doors leading into the rest of the mansion.
Huffing, you try your best to keep up. “I thought we were getting a drink.”
“No, I just said that.” He continues leading you as he walks through the corridors you hadn’t previously seen.
“Where are you going, Koo?”
“I went past it somewhere,” he says, talking more to himself as he keeps walking past a few doors, peering in each one as he does.
“Where?”
“Ah.” He stops, pulling you through a door. He lets go of your hand as he goes to close the door behind him.
Looking around the dimly lit room with only a small window on the far right, you narrow your eyes in confusion. There’s tall racks with coats and hats and other items, lined up along the walls and two others in the centre of the room. A single desk and chair is in one corner, multiple tags arranged in a box amongst a few other neatly placed items of stationary. “A cloak room?” you ask, dubiously, turning around. “Why are we–”
Jungkook kisses you – hard. Hands circling your waist, he’s stepping forward until you're backed up into a wall. One hand finds your cheek, thumb caressing your cheek sweetly while he tugs on your lower lip between his teeth.
“Oh,” you sigh out loud, now realising. “Cloak room,” you say, dumbly.
“Uh-huh,” he purrs, lips moving to your jaw. “Couldn’t help myself.”
His hot breath sends shivers down your spine, hips arching against the wall. “That-that’s totally okay.”
“You sure?” His tongue swipes just under your jaw, close to your ear, oh so delicately.
“Absolutely.” Grabbing his face, you kiss him hard again, taking pleasure in every second that passes with his lips on yours.
Opening wider, his tongue darts across yours, the salacious act leaving you desperate for more. You deepen the kiss, fingers curling in his hair as your hips involuntarily push forward again and this time, Jungkook reciprocates, pressing hard against you so you can physically feel just how bad he wants this. His bulge gets you right where it feels good and you falter, knees going weak as one gives way.
Jungkook holds you tight, laughing softly, “That good, huh?”
“Duh.”
He kneels down, taking your ankle and lifting your heel to his thigh. “You're so pretty,” he says, more to himself than you. He takes your shoes off, right one first, then the left. With your foot still resting on his thigh, he looks up at you, hand slowly caressing your skin as he moves towards your inner thigh.
Even without the heels, you still feel your knees going weak but it feels so good. He watches your lips part, breaths picking up as you try your best to stay patient. “Please do something, Koo.”
“Patience, princess,” he teases and you whine, prompting him to laugh. “Okay.” Acquiescing, he turns his head, placing a rousing kiss on your skin. “So soft,” he murmurs, between kisses. “So perfect.” You want him so bad. “All mine.” With every touch of his lips, his mouth inches closer to where you want him, slowly but surely. Goosebumps prickling your skin, you release short soft breaths and will yourself to be patient.
Jungkook hums, nipping you with light force. “Feel good?” His tone tells you he’s tortured by his own pace as much as you are.
“Yes.”
He looks up, eyes glazed over with a hunger for more. “Tell me what you want.” His fingers brush your sex, barely.
“Touch me, please.”
He brushes you again, fingers working their way over your damp underwear. “Like this?” He revels in your soft whimpers.
“More.”
In one swift motion, he pulls your underwear down and reveals everything. You don’t feel shy in the slightest, especially not with the way he’s looking at you. “So pretty.” Fingers sliding over your wet lips, he exhales before he smacks you lightly. “And all mine.”
You whine, moving your hips again to remind him of your needs and he doesn’t make you wait this time. Collecting your slick on his fingers as he moves them back and forth, he then uses his thumb to stroke your clit, the contact making your knees buckle again.
Jungkoook grabs your left leg and places it over your shoulder as he repositions himself for better access. “Such a pretty girl,” he murmurs. “Bet you taste so good as well.”
“Why don't you find out?”
“Mm, I will,” Jungkook chuckles, sliding one finger inside you. “Not just yet.”
“Oh.” Your hand falls to his shoulder, digging in hard.
He stretches you, watching as you react. Once he’s sure you're good, he adds a second finger, stroking exactly where it feels good.
“Please don’t stop.”
He grips your thigh, holding you up well. “I won’t.” Leaning in, his mouth makes contact with your clit and you mewl under his touch. He’s slow with it first, sucking and circling lightly and you want more. Under the soft silk of your dress, your nipples harden and you reach for one, toying with yourself. Seeing this, Jungkook groans. “That's it baby, touch yourself more.”
Obeying, you pull the straps off your shoulder and let the top of your dress fall, gathering around your waist where you hold it out of Jungkook’s way. His soft moan as you touch yourself tells you he’s enjoying it and as his fingers grip you harder, he starts to flick your clit.
“Oh, that’s it.” It's all you need to feel yourself reaching an orgasm, teetering on the edge as he adjusts his pace. “Please, I’m so close.”
“Yeah?”
“Yes.”
“I wanna hear you.” He fingers you harder as his tongue works overtime to get you to come and it works — in a rippling wave, your orgasm washes over you and all you can do is moan as pleasure courses through you. Jungkook keeps you up, slowing down once the peak has passed. He withdraws his fingers and you make sure to steady your legs as he stands. “You're so hot,” he says, looking at you in complete adoration and lust.
Feeling flushed, you manage to smile. “Thanks. Now my turn, please?”
Jungkook chuckles, stepping forward. “I don't think I can be that patient, princess.” As he presses against you, you can feel him a lot more than you could before.
“Oh.”
He tilts his head, hand brushing your chin as he pulls your lips to his. You can taste yourself as he kisses you, tongue stroking yours in tandem motion while he uses his other hand to caress your breasts, moulding the soft flesh before pinching your nipples between his thumb and forefinger. It rallies up arousal for more but your first priority is him.
“Why are your clothes still on?” You question out loud, having just now realised.
Jungkook suppresses a chuckle, lips quirking into a smile as you make quick work of his tie and shirt.
Your hands roam the expanse of his broad, muscular chest. “Much better.” You only take a moment to appreciate the tattooed eye candy before pulling him back in for another sensual kiss, driven by your desire to make him feel good now, Fingers deftly undo his zipper and within seconds, your hand is slipping past his boxers and gripping his length. The girth alone has your pussy throbbing again. Jungkook releases a low sigh, his kisses becoming more insistent as you pull his cock out of his pants and play with him.
With a slow swipe of your thumb over his head, Jungkook moans, teeth tugging on your lips and you drag your hand up and down his length, faster each time.
“Let me have a taste, please.”
“Fuck,” he sighs. Looking at your pleading face, he agrees.
You drop to your knees in an instant, letting your dress fall entirely as you go. Without wasting any time, your mouth is on his cock, tongue swirling his red, leaking tip before you move your head.
“You’re gonna kill me,” he says, voice strained as he looks down at your naked form below him.
Focused on his cock and eager to please, you just hum in response and keep going while he gently moves your hair back, gripping it behind you and you have to squeeze your thighs together in an attempt to ease yourself to the sound of his soft grunts and groans. As they get louder, you grip his thighs and take him as deep as you can. Despite trying not to choke, you cough a little and Jungkook moves back, pulling himself out of your mouth.
“You good?”
“Great,” you nod, trying to go back in.
Jungkook chuckles, pulling you up before you can get there. “I can’t wait any longer.” His pupils are blown out with carnal desire but his tone is otherwise gentle and affectionate. “Can I please fuck you?”
“You don't have to ask me twice.”
He pulls a condom out of his pocket, tearing the wrapper with his teeth.
Seeing this, your brow arches. “How do you have that?”
Jungkook pauses, looking slightly embarrassed. “Alias,” he says, more in a hushed whisper.
Pursing your lips together, you refrain from laughing. “Alias?”
Jungkook nods, placing the condom on while he explains. “He gave it to me just when we got here before you guys did. He said, and I quote, if there was ever a good time to declare my love for you in its physical form, it's a wedding.”
Shaking your head, you laugh again. “He would know.”
“Oh I know,” Jungkook nods. Alias has a bit of a reputation for being a womaniser on steroids when it comes to weddings.
“I’m glad he gave it though,” you shrug, pulling Jungkook closer.
“Me too.” His lips find yours again, starting off sweet and slow. Hands circling your waist, he lifts you and your legs wrap around him instinctively. He takes his shirt from the rack you’d flung it towards earlier and walks you towards the desk in the corner and you use the chance to tease him, breaking away to kiss his ear and nibble his lobe.
“You sure you wanna do that?” he chuckles darkly.
“Very.”
He throws his shirt down on the desk before placing you on top. “You sure?” His fingers find your sex, gliding through your cum.
Dazed, you nod.
He takes his cock in one hand and spreads your legs with the other. With a small step forward, he pushes his head into your clit and you whine, wanting more. Deliberately, he slides himself down your pussy, coating his length in your cum.
“Koo, do something,” you plead, fingers gripping the edge of the table hard.
Unable to resist any longer, Jungkook swears under his breath, pushing himself into you in one steady motion. You gasp, feeling the entirety of him fill you up so good. Jungkook doesn't move, eyes pressed shut as he acclimatises himself to the feeling of being inside you.
The gratifying burn from being stretched out makes you tense in anticipation. As a result, Jungkook inhales, fingers gripping your thighs harder. Opening his eyes, he looks down to see both of you joined and slowly pulls out, watching his cock glisten with your wetness. Back and forth he goes, moaning at the sight of it.
“Fuck me, properly,” you huff, growing impatient with need.
He rolls his tongue on the inside of his cheek and smirks. In one quick motion, Jungkook shoves his dick back inside of you. “Done.”
You brace yourself, moving your hands back behind you on the table and you’re right to do so. Jungkook fucks you with no inhibition, hammering your sweet spot every single time. You always knew he was good at everything — cooking, golf, rugby, gardening, fixing things, running, heck any sport, singing, even poetry when he tries — but the way he fucks you goes beyond any expectation you could’ve had.
You can do nothing but sit there and take it, jaw slack as your legs spread wide for him. Crying out for more, he gives you what you want and takes you to orgasm. A blissful sensation ensues, heightened by the fact that you’re with Jungkook and you cry his name as you climax. Holding your trembling frame secure, he follows closely himself, coming hard and hot into the condom.
Heavy breathing is the only sound that fills the room for a moment. You’re basking in all of Jungkook’s post-sex glory, his chest glistening with a sheen of sweat as a few strands of hair now stick to his forehead. He lowers your legs to the desk, kissing you lazily on the forehead before he pulls out and disposes the condom in the trash can under the desk.
He takes some tissues from the box behind you and attempts to clean himself before zipping up. “You okay?”
Exhaling, you push yourself off the desk. “Never been better.” Your legs wobble as you stand and Jungkook holds you still.
“Best sex I ever had,” he says as a passing comment, helping you clean up.
And you agree. “We’re definitely doing that again.” it’s just now, you realise you’re completely naked in the middle of the cloakroom.
Jungkook is already crossing the room, picking up your dress and heels. Together, you make sure you both look presentable enough to rejoin the wedding.
Running your fingers through his hair, a smile graces his lips involuntarily. His happiness is infectious and you grin. “Happy?”
“Words can’t even describe it. Especially with you messing my hair up like that.” His eyes twinkle with mischief.
You laugh, swatting his arm gently. "Hey, I'm going for the tousled look. It's called fashion, Jeon, look it up.
"Of course," he says, nodding sagely. "My mistake. You're clearly ahead of your time.
"Exactly!" you say, with mock seriousness. "Now, are you going to kiss me or keep critiquing my hairstyling?"
Leaning in, he places a tender kiss on your lips before his expression shifts, carrying a hint of solemnity. “I am sorry for everything that happened before though.”
“It’s fine. You already apologised. Besides, so am I.”
“You didn't do anything wrong.”
“I could’ve been more honest with you.”
“I should have been first. It’s because of me everything happened that way. If I’d been honest, you wouldn’t have been hurt in the process.”
Sighing softly, you grasp his chin with your thumb and forefinger. “But we’re here now, it happened for a reason. And honestly, I wouldn't have it any other way.”
He smiles and nods. “I love you.”
“Love you too.”
6 months later.
“Finally!” Pushing the back of your earrings in, you step onto the landing. “We need to leave soon.”
Jungkook puts down his carry bag by the door, a wide grin on his face. “Are those the earrings I got you last week?”
You nod, smiling. “I’ve been so excited to wear them, they’re so perfect.”
“They’re perfect on you.” He kisses your cheek, still admiring you.
“Alright, I’ll be ready in 15 minutes.” Your dad steps in the front door, putting his own carry bag down next to Jungkook’s as he catches sight of you. “Oh, Y/N, dear, you look beautiful.”
“Thanks, dad,” you grin. “How was golf?”
“Your dad doesn’t like to lose, I’ll tell you that,” Jungkook chuckled, glancing at your dad with a playful smirk. “Although he almost beat me this time.”
“Almost being the operative word," your dad retorted with a grin, giving him a friendly pat on the shoulder.
“Yeah, He's definitely got some tricks up his sleeve.”
“Coming from you.” Your dad looks at Jungkook, definitely impressed. “You really surprised me today.”
Jungkook shrugs, a quirk to his lips. “What can I say? I’m full of surprises.”
Their cryptic conversation goes unnoticed by you as you check you’ve got everything in your purse. “That’s fab, guys, now hurry up. We need to leave or Alex will never invite us to another party again.”
“Alright, I’ll just put these away.” Jungkook picks up the carry bags while you rush back upstairs, having remembered to put perfume on. Watching you go, Jungkook feels a wave of nervous anticipation washing over him. He hears footsteps behind him and turns to see your mom come through the kitchen.
“Ah, there’s my beautiful wife,” your dad beams, giving her a kiss on the cheek.
She smiles and turns to Jungkook. "Excited for tonight?" she whispers, her voice filled with barely contained excitement.
Jungkook’s heart skips a beat as he nods. “She still has no idea right?”
“Not a clue.”
“Good.”
Twenty minutes later, you’re all gathered by the front door, ready to leave as your dad sets the alarm. You step out into the driveway, met by a gust of warm evening breeze. Looking at the horizon, the warm glow of the setting sun paints the sky in hues of orange and pink, casting a serene ambiance and you feel a wave of contentment.
Jungkook appears at your side, looking at you like he’s falling in love for the first time all over again. Smiling, you lean in and give him a kiss.
“What was that for?”
“I just love you… lots.”
Something in Jungkook’s expression shifts. “Me too.
Your hand finds his and your fingers intertwine. “Ready?”
Jungkook nods, thumb circling your bare ring finger, which, unbeknownst to you, will soon be holding the most perfect princess cut diamond as a promise of forever with him.
“Ready.”
note. thank you for reading! i really hope you liked it! ✨ please share + let me know your thoughts <3 more fics coming soon ;)
#jungkook x reader#jungkook fanfic#bts fanfic#jjk x you#jjk fanfic#bts x reader#jungkook oneshot#jungkook fluff#jungkook angst#jungkook smut
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hi!! if you would like to join me in being angry, please consider this new gem of journalism bestowed upon us peasants today:
(Article link is here)
In case you doubt it, yes, that is correct. Major studios will now assemble panels of racists, homophobes, transphobes, and misogynists to dictate how much us squirming pathetic little brown queers get to be represented on screen.
They were already doing this, but now they're comfortable saying it outright. As I have said before, THIS SHOULD ALARM YOU.
This post is long so the rest is below, backed up with data:
Disney is tacitly admitting that they canceled The Acolyte because they would rather alienate their marginalized fanbase than their rabid, genocidal straight white male one. And you can be damn sure this is also why the likes of Netflix and HBO Max are so comfortable discarding highly acclaimed queer shows like Warrior Nun, Our Flag Means Death, the Owl House, and Dead Boy Detectives.
The only shows about marginalized people allowed to go on are the ones that, against all odds, become hit successes (eg Heartstopper), at which point their earning potential outweighs their sin of being brown or gay. I want to emphasize that these shows must be breakout hits - shows that perform on par with straighter, whiter releases aren't given this grace.
These companies are going to obscure the reality of their actions by talking about profits and public image, but rest assured they would find a way to justify this even if the vast majority of viewers were brown and queer. Because it's about maintaining power. It's part of a nationwide surge against inclusion.
Do you remember the IGN article that just came out that revealed Disney's insistence that Riley be made to look "less gay" in Inside Out 2?
Do you remember the Autostraddle article which crunched the numbers to show that queer shows are cancelled more often and earlier than others?
How about GLAAD's breakdown of queer shows cancelled last year? Here's a snippet of the data:
❗️Both Autostraddle and GLAAD have found that 1 in 4 queer shows are axed. This is DOUBLE the rate for streaming shows overall, which is just at 12%.
Variety has a data breakdown here. What's interesting is that Netflix is actually pretty moderate with its cancellations, yet the majority of cancelled queer shows belong to Netflix.
I had a harder time finding data for shows featuring leads of color. If anyone has links, I'll add them here.
In conclusion:
They are banning our books. They are cancelling our shows. They are silencing our stories. You know why.
You can help in a few ways. One is to stream as many cancelled shows centering POC and/or queer people as you can. Another option is to cancel your streaming subscriptions and vote with your wallet (this is what I have done).
There's also a bunch of petitions for cancelled shows I strongly recommend signing. Pick a show and google it plus "petition" and it will turn up.
You can go to Rotten Tomatoes and IMDB and 5-star your chosen shows, as well as each episode.
You can message the streaming services on social media requesting renewal. Reaching out to influencers in spheres related to this topic, as well as media outlets, is also a good idea.
Finally and most importantly, talk to your friends and family. Ask them to do something. Ask them to tell people. The more people who stand against a hateful status quo, the less powerful it becomes.
I believe this can be turned around if we make enough noise. These streaming services should revive their queer shows, market them properly, and support them like any other show.
I sound silly now, but watch this space in two years.
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The idea that voting for Harris and Walz means you don’t care about Gaza is such an uneducated position that it can just about only be justified as a psy-op. What exactly is it that you think voting is for? If it’s to show where your idealistic morality lies - what you would really LOVE for America to look like with a president - then of course it makes sense to not want to vote someone who isn’t as critical as you’d like of the Palestinian Genocide. But that’s not the world we live in. As American citizens, we are IMMENSELY privileged, and we cannot possibly understand the horrors and tribulations Palestinians have endured over the last year. The idea that Trump and Harris are “equally bad” for Palestine is a position of immense privilege that doesn’t value Gazan lives. Trump has told Israel to finish the war. Harris is calling for a temporary ceasefire. From a purely logical perspective, one party is promoting a position that could save Palestinian lives while the other is asking for an escalation of events. If you can’t see the difference between these two positions - the real-world, life-altering difference between these two positions for people in a war-zone - then it’s time to ask yourself if you’re morally grandstanding by demanding nothing less than a complete end to the war, or if you’re more concerned in saving even one additional life.
There is no 3rd-party presidential candidate with enough name recognition to make it in this election. If you want a third party, by all means, support them after the election and help them get a foothold. That doesn’t change that they’re not a viable option for 2024. So, do you choose Trump - who wants to escalate the war - or Harris, who wants to help it calm down? These positions are fundamentally different and will lead to changes in the number of Palestinians who survive. Leaving the Palestinian genocide aside, Trump and project 2025 have made it clear how they want to limit abortion access, higher education, transgender rights, gay rights, and DEI efforts while the Harris White House wouldn’t be trying to actively dismantle these things. These are, once again, clear cut issues that will alter how many people survive under each presidency.
If your position is that “unless they give exactly what I want, they don’t deserve to be in office,” then it’s clear you’re not willing or interested in making the actually hard choices in politics and your activism is performative. You aren’t voting for who’s a good person or who you like most - you’re voting for the enemy you want in office. Do the right thing. Vote for Harris and give people a chance to save more lives.
#vote harris#vote blue#vote democrat#harris for president#harris 2024#kamala harris#go vote#vote kamala#harris walz 2024#free palestine#i stand with palestine#palestinian genocide#all eyes on palestine#save palestine
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Adventures In Gotham
Enough Caffeine to Kill an Elephant Side Story
The first time Danny had ever been to Gotham, he swore it would be his last. He was twenty-two at the time.
In an effort to relax after finals had ended, he, Tucker, Sam, Val, Wes, and Dani had been playing a round of Truth or Dare after finishing a few movies. Sam had dared Danny to wander around Gotham without attracting attention to himself. The catch was that he wasn't allowed to use his powers except to fly there and back. His time limit was Sunday night.
They'd all been planning to stay the night at Sam's anyway, so no one would even notice he was gone. Though, the dare had seemed easy at the time, Danny should've realized his luck was not that good.
Regardless, he flew to the outskirts of Gotham City, dropped his transformation, and entered.
The first thing he noticed was that there was some kind of bubble around Gotham preventing the Shades and overall feel of death from leaving. It was overwhelming at first, but he got used to it pretty quickly. The next thing he noticed was that he had walked into somebody's haunt.
Shit.
He made himself presentable and spoke to the night, "I apologise for trespassing," His voice echoed through the open area as though he was shouting in an empty room. Ghost Speak tended to do that. "I mean no hostile intentions. I simply wish to play a game with your protectors." With any luck, whoever this was would be playful or friendly, at the very least. He didn't hold his breath, though.
A lie. He was holding his breath, but that's only because he was nervous!
The night air stilled as though considering his words. Then, a breeze from behind pushed him further into the city. Flapping wings of bats and owls seemed to hide the whispers of "You may come in." and "Be careful." and "You will lose." and "Good luck.".
A vote of confidence from the City Spirit. "Thank you." He was going to be as quick as he could, but he couldn't draw attention to himself. Easier said than done. Batman seemed to know whenever anyone ever stepped foot into his city, especially if they've never been there before. So, he had to play hide and seek with Batman and Robin.
Again, easier said than done.
Danny knows very little about about Gotham and her heroes and villains. What he does know is that Robin is fairly knew to the scene, but also very serious in what he does. He's still a child, though, and he likes to play around a bit. Batman, on the other hand, has already become something of a cryptid, despite only showing himself a year or so ago. Either way, the two balance each other nicely and work well as a team.
Batman and Robin obviously know the entire city inside out, so Danny has to somehow keep an eye on where they are at all times while not drawing attention to himself. Which would be easy, except for the fact that Danny can only sense where non-living beings are. Batman and Robin are very much alive. He's pretty sure. Unless either of them have a shit ton of Shades attached to them, which is unlikely but not impossible, then he'll have to rely on finding them first and keeping them within his sight as he tours around their city.
Why the hell did he agree to this? He so deserves a reward if he succeeds.
'When', not 'if'. 'If' is pessimistic and implies that Batman might just drop him off a building and watch him fall. 'When' at least lets him continue with the illusion that he may get out of this no deader than when he arrived in Gotham.
All he had to do was basically tour the city, then he'll be done. It went well for the first hour, but then he spotted the shadows moving around him. It wouldn't normally be a problem, but one of those shadows was made out of bright colours. Seeing as his Ghost Sense didn't go off, Danny figured the he'd just run straight into Batman and Robin.
Shit. Fuck. Okay, play it cool, Danny.
He ran. He ran as fast as he could without using his powers. When he was sure he'd lost the two vigilanties, he allowed himself to stop in an alley somewhere in the Narrows. (The map he looked at was coming in very handy all of a sudden)
"Could be worse," he said to himself, backing into a corner.
The sound of shattering glass and the scurrying of mice and rats gave the impression of laughter and taunting. Which, rude, but fair.
"Your Knights, my lady," he spoke into the darkness, "are terrifying."
"Who you talking to?"
Danny did not jump. He didn't! Liar.
The kid, about twelve years old, was in bright green, red, and yellow. His hair windswept and he didn't seem even the slightest bit out of breath, let alone tired. Shouldn't he be in bed? Did he have a bedtime? He should have a bedtime, in Danny's expert opinion.
"Did you know that humans are endurance hunters?" Robin had been smiling since he dropped down in front of Danny. And if that wasn't a scary ass line to hear from a twelve year old up way past his bedtime-
No, he's not intimidated. "It's, um, a good thing I'm not completely human then, huh?" Stupid, stupid, stupid! Shut up, Danny! Stop talking! Right now!
This made Robin frown and the shadows started to move again, Batman taking his place just behind the boy. "What do you mean?"
Damn, he's scary! Danny's a sucker for a deep voice with a growl, damn.
"I, um," Intelligent response, Danny. King of the Realm Between Realms of Infinity. Keeper of Balance, Timeless Protector of the Dead and Living, and he can't even form a proper sentence.
Batman and Robin's stares were uncomfortably similar, even as Robin tilted his head ever so slightly to the right.
For all his wisdom, Danny couldn't see how he could manage to get out of this without using his powers. So, "Gottagobye!" he let intangibility and invisibility wash over him and he slipped through the wall behind him. From there, he let the rings of light cover him and he flew away.
He'll take the L. That was scary as hell!
The night wind brushed against him, the sound of breaking bones and cackling telling him to come by to play again some time. Had Gotham's City Spirit lead her Knight and his child to Danny? Probably. She seemed like the type. At least she seems to like him? Silver linings.
"I'm never going there again," he muttered halfway to Illinois.
Storyboard
Tag List:
@zaiothe4th @someonebored0100 @wolfeyedwitch @angelheartgamer @nymanders @princessbelix @luminanightfall @kgne-k @bianca-hooks123 @reigning-catsanddogs @sassywombatranchhorse @dontfightmecauseillcry @soul-lime @anarinette @serasvictoria02 @the-chaos-goblin-child @confusedshades @caicie @fantasticstoryteller @randomshtickidk @itsberrydreemurstuff @blueliac @i-love-mangoes @nymanders @highimpactemotions @anarinette @sleepingdead96 @orbr @tkiesai @atomicsheepscientist @8000fangirl @shower-phantom-ideas @blep-23
#Enough Caffeine to Kill an Elephant#side story#danny's first adventure in gotham#gotham city#lady gotham#batman#robin#dick grayson as robin#bruce wayne as batman#very early days of batman#hopefully this gives some idea of the timeline#danny phantom#danny needs a nap#danny doesn't get paid enough fro this#dc means disregard canon right?#dcu#dp#dc x dp crossover#dp x dc#dcxdp#dp dc crossover#danny just wants to get this over with without ending up any deader than he was before#is that too much to ask?#this is very much crack#this is also very self indulgent#a little comedy after last time#a palate cleanse#maybe a bribe
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regret
leah williamson x reader
actually finished writing something! wooo! the poll i put out was a close one, but this pair ultimately won. thanks to all who voted.
i’ve decided to split this into two parts, so this isn’t the end peoples!
part 2
———
“Alright. Remember, when we get there—”
“—pretend that we’re still happily married. I know.” You say annoyed, getting out of the car.
“Hey, don’t be like that!” Leah gets out of the car, catching up to you.
“Be like what? I’m not the one who got us in this situation.”
“Can we just be civil? This is the last time we’ll go through this.”
“Piss off will you! We wouldn’t have to act civil if you kept your mouth to yourself. And you had the audacity to file for divorce.”
Before Leah could reply, the front door opens to reveal Amanda, Leah’s Mom.
“Oh, I’ve missed you girls so much!”
Putting up a smile on your face, you engulfed the woman in a hug.
“Missed you too Amanda.”
“Come in! Come in!”
“Oi! David how’ve you been pops?”
“Oh, I’ve been wonderful! Glad to have you here!” He pulls you into a hug.
“There’s my favorite sister!” You hear behind you, Jacob just coming down the stairs from his room.
“Come here you! It’s been a while, huh?”
“It has! You gotta visit me more often.” You tense a bit, but not enough for him to notice in your embrace, putting up a smile on your face.
“I’ll try to visit more.”
What you don’t see behind you is Leah watching your interactions with her family.
You’ve known each other young. You’ve both been dating since you were fifteen, marrying at nineteen, divorced at twenty-one.
Her family’s have welcomed you with open arms since the beginning. You were her first serious relationship. The only one of her girlfriends that her family loved. You’ve had your whole life basically planned out, Leah would become a footballer, you a doctor, marriage, kids, the dream basically.
Leah didn’t know the exact reason why she did what she did, but it happened and she couldn’t take it back. She knew this teammate of hers has liked her for a while and never told her off.
She woke up to an unfamiliar bed, an arm around her that certainly wasn’t you. She regretted it the moment she woke up, didn’t know how to tell you, but you found out before she could. Ashamed of herself, Leah filed for divorce.
———
Leah didn’t know what she was thinking divorcing you. She didn’t have the right to be the one to file as she was the one who fucked up. It was impulsive and shameful. It was the best option she could think of at the time.
Now here she was, five years later, at the Emirates training grounds, about to run for the first time since her ACL injury. She missed you so much during this time. Every time she was injured in any way, you were always by her side nursing her back to health. You were her support system, making her fall more in love with you. This time, without you by her side, she realized how much she took you for granted, how she didn’t show you enough love, betraying you in the worst way possible.
She’d already signed the divorce papers, pressuring you to do the same all while making you go to her family’s for a dinner pretending that nothing has changed between the two of you. It was when she finally saw your signature on the papers was when she realized how she’s lost you for good.
———
Getting back home after a family walk, Amanda spots a stack of papers on the kitchen counter, a folded paper on top, along with two rings. Curious, she opens it up and quickly skims through them, shock fills her body after she finished reading.
“Leah!” She yells for her daughter.
“Yeah, mum?” Leah walks into the kitchen to see her mom holding something up.
“What the hell is this?”
Leah being clueless, grabs the sheet, reading it herself.
Leah,
I’ve finally signed everything you’ve been wanting me to sign. I don’t know why I’ve put it off for so long even if I’m not the one at fault. Guess it’s just hard to let go of the one you love the most.
Don’t contact me. Don’t look for me. You’re free.
Yn
Leah couldn’t even respond to her mother. All the emotions she bottled up came at her all at once, breaking down in front of her family. Six years of relationship, one year of marriage over.
#woso x reader#greynatomy#woso#woso imagines#woso imagine#leah williamson#leah williamson x reader#leah williamson imagines#leah williamson imagine#leah williamson angst
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Special thanks to our mod @penguinsledder for making this year's banner!
What is Kataang Week?
Kataang Week is when we, as a corner of the fandom, celebrate the ship Kataang on Tumblr! The prompts for Kataang Week 2024 were selected through five rounds of voting over the last few weeks and all prompts were submitted by Kataangers.
Cool, when is it?
Summer Kataang Week 2024 starts on Monday, July 29th - a little over seven weeks from today - and ends on Monday, August 5th.
Who is the founder of Tumblr's Kataang Week?
@secretsecrettunnel revived Kataang Week in the summer of 2013 a few years after Avatar: The Last Airbender ended and when the fandom was itching for more Kataang during The Legend of Korra’s run.
Who are the mods?
@airbender-dacyon AKA Mod Dan: A Kataang fanfic writer who prefers fluff, but also loves some drama and angst. Mod Dan started writing Kataang stories in 2013 and has helped organize Kataang Week since 2016.
@penguinsledder AKA Mod Atarah: A writer, gif maker, and musician–she enjoys fluffy young adult Kataang and all the ways they complement and parallel each other. She first joined Tumblr for Kataang Week 10 years ago, and started helping out with writing posts and making banners as a mod since 2016!
@itsmoonpeaches AKA Mod Belle: An avid Kataanger with a penchant for angst and mild violence who likes writing. Mod Belle has been a mod since 2021 and helps write posts and social media.
@chocomd AKA Mod Celes: Fanfic writer who adores Kataang for their fun and flirty side but also their bond forged through grief and loss. Mod Celes joined in 2023 and helps with a little bit of everything - whatever needs to be done!
How do I participate?
The most common ways to participate are by creating art or writing a fic and posting it online. Some people try and create something for every day while others only fill one or two prompts.
As always, we want to reassure you that it’s perfectly okay not to do every prompt! We just hope to have lovely pieces to share on each day.
But I can’t draw or write!
That’s totally fine - there are more ways to participate! You can sing a song, create a graphic, write a poem - just about anything really. You can also show your support by reblogging and liking other people’s contributions.
What are the prompts?
The following will be the running order for Kataang Week 2024:
Cultural Exchange/Culture Sharing/Revival of Traditions - Monday, July 29th
Protectiveness/Bodyguard - Tuesday, July 30th
Parenting/First-Time Parents - Wednesday, July 31st
Post-Battle Reunion - Thursday, August 1st
Disguise - Friday, August 2nd
Jealousy - Saturday, August 3rd
Proposal - Sunday, August 4th
Free Day - Monday, August 5th
* As a reminder, Cultural Exchange/Culture Sharing/Revival of Traditions, Protectiveness/Bodyguard, and Parenting/First-Time Parents were combined during voting as they were very similar prompts. You can interpret them as singular or separate prompts and incorporate one or both for each day.
** And as always, there is a Free Day at the end of the week. You can use this day to post anything you’d like! It can be a prompt that didn’t receive enough votes or something you’ve been wanting to work on, anything goes!
*** Kataang Week is also being hosted by @dailykataang on Twitter this year! In addition, @dailykataang will be extending Kataang Week by another week, exclusively on Twitter. Please see this post for more details on how to participate on Twitter.
How should I tag my work?
The easiest way for us to find your work so we can reblog it to this blog is by using the tag “kataang week”. Using “kataang” and “kataangtag” also help. You must tag one of the three in your first five tags otherwise it doesn’t appear in the search. It is also helpful to tag us directly with @kataang-week.
Sometimes even properly tagged posts may not appear when we search the tags, so if you do not see your content reblogged, please let us know.
Once we’ve reblogged it to this blog we add our own tags (a prompt tag and a user tag) for easy organization. This means we can find all the work for one prompt or all the work from one user in one easy click (this also means that if you have changed your username since participating last year you need to let us know so we can update your tag!).
Can I post my stuff other places online too?
Of course you can!
For those of you who will be posting your works on AO3, feel free to add your fic to our AO3 collection.
Why seven weeks? Is that enough time?
Traditionally, we like to provide our content creators seven to eight weeks to create quality content. Kataang Week is also traditionally held in the last week of July.
If you are unable to complete a prompt in time, please do not fret. You can alert this blog by mentioning it in your post (ex. @kataang-week) or messaging one of the mods and your content will still be shared even if it is a week (or a month - or sometimes more!) late.
We also like to post WIP for Kataang Week and encourage everyone else to do so as well - we reblog it here for motivation!
As always, if you have any questions, comments, or concerns, don’t hesitate to send an ask. Don’t forget to reblog this as well to help spread the word!
Good luck, Kataangers, and happy content creating! 😊
- The Mods
#kataang week#kataang#kataangtag#kataang week 2024#kataang tag#aang#katara#atla#avatar the last airbender
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Round 2 - Chordata - Actinistia
(Sources - 1, 2)
The Sarcopterygians (“Lobe-finned Fishes”), are the last of the three groups of “fish”, and are so named for the prominent muscular limb buds (lobes) within their fins. Of the Sarcopterygians living today, they are represented by the coelacanths, lungfish, and tetrapods (including humans), who all diverged in the Silurian. These next fish are closer related to us than they are to Actinopterygiians.
The class Actinistia, the “Coelacanths”, are an ancient group of fish that have been around since the Devonian but today are only represented by two remaining species: The West Indian Ocean Coelacanth (Latimeria chalumnae) and the Indonesian Coelacanth (Latimeria menadoensis).
Coelacanths can live as deep as 700 m (2,300 ft) below the sea, but are more commonly found at depths of 90 to 200 m (300 to 660 ft). They have sensitive eyes which include a tapetum lucidum and many rods which help them see better in dark water, as they are most active at night. They are opportunistic hunters, feeding on cuttlefish, squid, snipe eels, small sharks, and other fish found around their deep reef and volcanic slope habitats. Their abundance of fins allow for high maneuverability, and coelacanths can orient their body in almost any direction in the water. They have been seen doing headstands as well as swimming belly up. They are able to slow their metabolisms at will, sinking into less-inhabited depths and going into a hibernation mode to conserve energy.
Coelacanths are ovoviviparous, with the female retaining the fertilized eggs within her body while the embryos develop over a gestation period of five years. The female will give live birth to around 5-26 young. Young coelacanths resemble the adult, but carry an external yolk sac below their pelvic fins, and have larger eyes relative to body size. Individual coelacanths may live as long as 80 to 100 years.
Coelacanths get their name from Coelacanthus, a genus of Permian coelacanths and the first coelacanths to be described. Over 100 fossil species are known, and all of them were believed to have gone extinct in the Cretaceous. On December 23, 1938, the first Latimeria specimen was discovered among the catch of a South African fisherman, making coelacanths a “lazarus taxon.” While previously considered a “living fossil”, coelacanth body shapes were much more diverse in the Early Triassic, and Latimeria is not known from fossils, showing that it had to have gone through some changes to adapt to the modern day.
Propaganda under the cut:
Since there are only two living species in this class and both are threatened, this is the most endangered class of animals in the world.
Coelacanths get along with other coelacanths, though they recoil from physical touch. Scientists think that they recognize each other via electric communication.
Mawsonia was one of the largest known coelacanths, with one specimen estimated at over 5 m (16 ft) long. It lived from the Late Jurassic to Mid-Cretaceous.
(source)
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Gilded Constellations | (wolfstar x reader)
Series Masterlist | Previous episode
Pairing: Wolfstar x Reader Word Count: 7.8 K Warnings: ANGST! Prompt: Meanwhile, on the other side of the line... This IS a Wolfstar x reader fic, but it's incredibly slow burn. They won't start all dating each other until we're very deep into the story, but I promise the long wait will be worth it. Proofread by lovely: @aremuslupinsimp
Chapter 45: Hold the Line
Love isn’t always on time
Tuesday, December 24th
Christmas at the Potters was always a blast. Sirius had learned that when he turned 12 and got invited to their house to celebrate Christmas after he got a dreadful howler about being a disgrace for the Noble House of Black and getting detention for the prank they had done to the Slytherins.
James had overheard Sirius cry at night over the fact that he’d have to spend Christmas alone in the school and decided he had to do something about it. He wrote a letter to his Mum and Sirius got officially invited to their home for the break. Now, the Potters sent the invitation to Sirius and Sirius only, and he got on the train as if he were going home without telling anyone about it. He got another howler when Walburga found out, but it had been worth it.
He hadn’t been allowed to the Potters for Christmas next year, and he made sure to make a show out of it, wearing muggle clothes to the family dinner and acting so irreverent that Orion locked him up in his room, after giving him a scold, slashing him with diffindo, and making him write “I will behave,” over and over again with a black quill. It didn’t work, Sirius made sure to behave even worse on the New Year’s event and he got officially banned from December celebrations by Walburga.
Next year, he was back at the Potters and happier than ever before. The scars he’d gotten (already long gone) had been worth it. Since then, he’d spent Christmas with them, and every year had been better than the last. Effie was always nice to him, and even with how much she was like James, she was still motherly, especially in comparison to Walburga.
And she had treated Sirius like her own boy since they met. In fact, there was never a difference in the way neither Monty nor Effie treated the two boys, they were their kids, and they treated them as such. Sirius appreciated it deeply, he’d found love, care, and appreciation there and he considered Effie more his mom than Walburga ever was. BIood be damned, family isn’t about what’s running through your veins but about the way you care and treat each other, and if anyone was family to him, it was his brother James, and his parents Effie and Monty.
This year had been no different, from the moment they arrived at the house, the smell of Christmas filled the air. Effie had prepared cookie dough for their yearly making of gingerbread houses. It was a small competition –Effie loved competitions– but they all had to build elaborate creations (with a magical twist) and then they’d set them all on the counter and have the house elves judge and pick the best. Whoever won the contest got an extra gift on Christmas.
Sirius had won once, but Monty was always adding clever new magical things onto the houses, like last year when he made a snow globe house, with magical snow –actually sugar– that would swirl around in the air sending positive Christmas words like “Joy” and “Mirth” and even “Happy Hannukah!”, which according to him, was a muggle tradition from a different religion than the one Christmas had spawned from.
This year though, Effie’s recreation of the Big Ben, alongside the magic stars she had made float all around it had gotten the best of both Mellie and Picksie, the Potter’s house elves. And they had unanimously voted her the winner. She had been really pleased about the results, so pleased she had made a little victory dance, showing off her creation and making it the centre of the table.
Sirius saw the adoring look Monty had given her as she danced around, boasting her triumph, and he thought he’d never met a couple more loving than the two of them, but he wanted to match it, he wanted to make you feel the same way Monty made Effie felt all the time, but then he remembered Remus, and felt a pang on his chest, since he too wished he could make him as happy, which was obviously a contradicting thought to the first one.
“Darling, are you all right?” Effie asked when he noticed his frown. Sirius had relatively subtle expressions when he wanted to hide his feelings, something he had learned to do at home, the Stony Black look, but Effie knew that look well enough, and she instantly knew something was up with her boy.
Sirius turned to her with a short “Hm?” as he got driven away from his own thoughts. “Yeah, I was just thinking if she’ll like the gift I made her.”
Effie smiled softly at that, she’d been one of the people to encourage him to draw something for you, especially since she knew you’d been one of the first people he’d shown his art to. James had been very offended when he found out Remus had seen his art before he had and complained to his mother about it while they were making the gingerbread houses, which is how she’d found out.
“I know I’d love it if Monty made me a drawing, and he’s terrible at it, so I’m certain she will,” she reassured him, “If you want we can go out later and you can get her something else, though.”
Sirius shook his head, he didn’t want them to spend even more money on him than they already had, “No, don’t worry about it, I’m probably just self-conscious.”
Effie smiled, there was something heartwarming at seeing Sirius like this, he had never been nervous about a girl, in fact, she wasn’t sure he’d even bothered to get a gift for one before, he looked like a love-sick puppy, it reminded him an awful lot of James, except you liked him back, unlike that Evans girl. Talking about that Evans girl. “So, James is dating Lily now?”
“He somehow convinced her to go on a date,” Sirius said with a shrug, “they went to the Slug Party together.”
“Really?” Effie asked with raised eyebrows.
Sirius nodded in return, “But I cannot give you any more details.”
“It’s all right,” she said with a dismissive wave of her hand, “I can pry them off of him later.” She then turned back to Sirius, “You’d think she’d come if we invited her over for dinner with everyone or something? Maybe on New Year’s?”
Effie knew Lily, she had seen pictures of her and she had crossed a few words with her on those occasions she visited the school for a quidditch match. She thought she was a nice enough girl, but she had never had an actual conversation with her and she certainly wanted to do it now. Although, with how much James talked about her, she felt like she knew a good deal and she considered her a delightful young lady, except for the fact that she kept rejecting James.
“I’m not sure, she might if Vix comes,” Sirius responded with a shrug, “they’re really good friends.”
Effie smiled in a sort of devilish way, the same smile Prongs had when he had a good idea for a prank, and gave a short pat in the head to Sirius (which she had gotten a habit of doing back when he was much shorter than her) and walked towards the kitchen.
Sirius decided to go for a broom ride to clear his mind, James and Peter tagged along with him and they ended up racing around the house at insanely fast speeds, fast enough for Sirius’ hair tie to loosen up and leave his hair flowing wildly behind him, and somehow also fast enough to have his mind be cleared of those thoughts he kept having of both you and Remus. Peter left early since his parents called for him, while the other boys decided to play a game of Magic Chess back in the living room.
By dinner, both of them had already eaten half of the gingerbread houses they had made, and some other fancy treats Monty liked to cook for the smaller Christmas Eve dinner they always had. Sirius thought it was fantastic since they almost had two parties instead of one. The first time he stayed at the Potter’s he had been so thrilled that he had accidentally blown up some of the decorations. Effie taught him an advanced version of reparo, and the two of them fixed the place together after that.
This time, Monty had asked for their help with the cooking, since Effie had gone out with the elves to buy more stuff for tomorrow’s dinner. It would be rather small, very few people had been invited due to the war and the fact that not many wizards knew which side the other was on, but Effie was set on having the place be as nice as ever.
Monty loved cooking, he had at some point mentioned that it was like making potions and that there was something oddly satisfying with how a bit of heat and a few spices could make even the most boring of dishes get filled with flavour, and he was set on teaching James, and by extension Sirius, how to cook.
“Perhaps you could make a cake for Lily,” he said as he passed James the measured flour for him to add, “your mother loved it when I sent her homemade cupcakes.”
“You did that?” Sirius asked with raised eyebrows.
“Mhm,” Monty nodded, “beat that a bit faster,” –he said politely as he pointed at the egg whites Sirius had been tasked with fluffing up– “She said she liked men with cooking skills and I asked my mum to help me with it, she sent me a bunch of cooking books and here we are now. James, have you added the cinnamon?”
“Eh…” James thought about it for a second and looked around the counter. The cinnamon was pretty far from where he stood, “don’t think so,” he admitted.
“That’s all right, I’ll add it for you,” he said and waved his wand, in an instant the cinnamon container was lifted up and after shaking softly three times and after dropping some cinnamon over James’ dry ingredient mix, it went back to its place on the table. Then Fleamont went back to cutting the apples into small pieces. “When you’re done with that James, please add some butter to the pans.”
“Okay,” James said with a nod and got busy with his task. The three of them were surprisingly efficient in the kitchen. They hadn’t been like that the first time around, but Monty decided they had to know how to –at least– make soup if they were ever going to live alone one day and had them take an intensive course a couple of summers ago. Both James and Sirius had gotten much better grades at potions after that, especially because Monty, being such an expert potioneer, had taught them to cook with potion-making techniques.
He hadn’t done it intentionally, but he was pretty satisfied with the result, especially when Effie praised him for being so clever and entertaining the kids with cooking while also teaching them something. He took the credit for being slick with a smile.
By the time they were done with the cake preparations, the food was ready to pull out of the oven. Monty and Sirius took the stuff out and passed it to James who took it to the table that Effie and Picksie were setting up while they focused on revising the temperature and placing the cakes in the oven. They had made three cakes, a chocolate cake that was James’ favourite, a carrot cake that Monty loved and an apple crumble one that both Sirius and Effie were mad about.
Effie had gotten some extra treats for the boys, and she had even gotten some Shepherd's Pie from a muggle place called “The Wingmore” that Monty loved. They had a delicious family dinner together, with cookies, pie and baked potatoes. They caught up with each other, and both Monty and Effie teased James about Lily mercilessly. Then Monty mentioned something about having “The Talk” with James and Sirius had to cough it in order to hide a cackle.
Prongs had kicked him under the table while Effie had appeared a glass of water for him so he could take a drink, and Sirius had thanked her with the soft charming smile of his that made all the girls swoon, James glared at him for it, and the other boy winked at him brazenly. If it went something like the talk Monty had given him 2 years ago when he started dating around, James might not survive it.
Sirius walked back to James’ room and decided to wait there for him to tease him once his talk with Monty was over, but Sirius was pretty tired from a day filled with fun, and he fell asleep pretty much the second he hit James’ bed.
He woke up a few minutes later when he felt a heavy leg over his own. He opened his eyes confused, thinking it was warm, but also that it smelled weird. Or perhaps not weird, just… not the way it should smell. It smelled of cedar, firewood, mint and summer breeze, not like books, parchment, chocolate and you. He blinked his eyes open and spotted James’ arm draped over his chest and his leg on top of both of his own. He was cuddling Sirius like he cuddled his pillows.
“Prongs,” he said softly, but the boy just snuggled deeper into him. “Prongs!” he repeated. “Prongs, what the fuck!”
James frowned and looked at Sirius as if he had been wronged, “What do you want?”
“Why are you cuddling me?”
“You’re in my bed,” the boy responded with a shrug.
“So what? Don’t you know about personal space?”
Bold fucking words for Sirius Black, James thought.
“Just shut up, I’m tired.”
“No, get off me!” Sirius said as he tried to pry James’ legs off of him, but James was heavier, and at this point, he was determined to piss Sirius off after being so wrongly accused.
“Pads!” James complained. “Just let me sleep, mate.”
“Not until you get off.”
“You never tell Remus to get off,” James huffed and tightened his grip.
What?
You never tell Remus to get off.
You never tell Remus to get off.
YOU NEVER TELL REMUS TO GET OFF!
Sirius opened his eyes wide as he looked at the ceiling, completely in shock as he let the words sink in. He looked to the side, trying to hide the panic, “That’s different,” he managed to muster.
“How is it different? I’m your best mate anyway, if you’re giving hugging concessions around, it should be to me.”
How is it different? Yes Sirius, HOW IS IT FUCKING DIFFERENT?!? He wondered to himself. “It’s because of the smell of the pack?”
“Is it? Really?” James asked, he was annoyed, and sleepy, and not quite thinking what he said, let alone how much it was affecting Sirius.
“Of course,” Sirius said defensively and pushed James off of him, turning his back to the boy as James rolled his eyes and did the same.
Prongs knew Sirius would be fine in the morning, but it would be a lie if he said he hadn’t been a little offended by the way he got pushed off, he had seen how close he was to Remus lately, and it wasn’t that he was jealous, but since when was Sirius closer to Moony than to him? Vixen he understood, he was head over heels for you, but Remus?!?
Since when was Pads so close to him?
Meanwhile, on the other side of the bed, Sirius had started to PANIC. There was something so raw about the words half-asleep James had said. Is it really about the smell of the pack? Was he using you as an excuse to cuddle Remus? Was he using his girlfriend… to cuddle his crush?
Perhaps he was a Black after all, it ran in his bIood, all wicked and malicious, cunning and devious. How could he shamelessly cuddle into Remus while you were right next to him? As if he didn’t have a crush on his friend? As if he hadn’t already admitted to himself that Remus was bIoody handsome? With his big broad shoulders and his intoxicating smell of books and chocolate, and a hint of you. With his messy brown hair and his kind smile, it was unfair really, for him to be so pretty and for Sirius to only have realised it now, now that he was happy, now that he had found someone.
When Sirius woke up, there was a pile of gifts on his side of the bed. James had decided to let him sleep in since he had been kind of annoyed at night and he didn’t want to deal with cranky Sirius on Christmas, which is why he was quietly opening his gifts on the other side of the floor.
Sirius leaned over and threw him a look while peeking his head over the bed. When he noticed he smiled. “Look at this” – he pointed at a box of muggle Christmas-themed chocolates– “Lily sent it, they even came with a small note, look,” he said as he passed the note to Sirius.
Sirius eyed him incredulously and took the small card in his hands before turning around on the bed to get himself comfortable, he cleared his throat, “Dear James, I was walking along this Christmas market and they had these chocolates, the adorable elf on the side that looks way too excited to be in a box kind of reminded me off you. Hope you have an amazing Christmas. Love, Lily.”
“You read that? She said ‘Love’.”
“Mhm,” Sirius said with a smirk and turned around again to pick the box from the floor, “Oh god is this the over-excited elf?” he said as he spotted a green-dressed short man on the side, he was wearing a very muggle Christmas outfit and had funny features, although his smile and eye colour did kind of match James’, it was like a bootleg version of him. Sirius couldn’t help but cackle.
“Oi! Don’t make fun of it! She sent it with love.”
“Not laughing at the gift, I’m laughing at the resemblance,” Sirius added while he tried to catch his breath, James had snatched the box from him and carefully placed it next to his leg.
Sirius was still laughing when he saw some light coming from a small hand-held mirror he had placed on his nightstand. It was reflecting a small beam on the ceiling. It was an enchanted mirror he had stolen from his parents back when he still lived with them. He had used it to communicate with James on the longer summers, even if he couldn’t actually talk through it.
Sirius frowned, “You have the sister mirror to someone?”
“Remus,” James said as he stood up and leaned across the bed, “since he was going to be alone this Christmas,” he added. Sirius rolled to the side and then on the bed to reach the same belly-down position James was using and looked inside.
Remus, looking as handsome as ever, was on the other side, shirtless –to Sirius’ dismay– and with his hair slightly messier than usual. Even his smile was so wide it looked like it would burst out of his face.
He waved at the boys and then pointed at a card he had in his hand. It said, “Merry Christmas”.
Sirius looked around and pulled James’ box from the floor, showing him the exact spot where it said “Merry Christmas” as well.
Remus then picked up a small pen and wrote “Thank you for the gifts” on the side of his Christmas letters. Sirius winked in response, he knew Rem would like the book he got him. But he knew he’d especially love the drawing he made for him as well: it was a Wolf, a dog and a fox playing in the forest.
“You made him a drawing too?” James asked with a gasp.
“You’re telling me Mum got a drawing, Vix got a drawing, and Moony got a drawing, but I didn’t?”
“Didn’t have enough time,” Sirius responded with a shrug. Remus, who was trying to read the boys’ lips and kind of got that he was among the few to get a drawing, couldn’t help being filled with joy at the fact that Sirius had done something especially for him.
He then showed the boys all the music you had sent over and spent a while trying to sign something to James that neither he nor Sirius got properly, but he gathered something about you getting him a bunch of books.
“What did she get you?” James asked, turning to Sirius who frowned. He had been so busy looking at his friend’s gifts, that he had forgotten he had also received a few himself.
James placed the mirror at the end of the bed so Remus could see and they all finished unboxing their gifts. Sirius had gotten a CB radio from Remus. There were rather specific instructions on what to do with it, it had even been charmed so that it worked, even in Hogwarts.
“Hello?” he asked as he pressed the button.
“Hey!” Remus replied from the other side, he had a wide smile on his face, thrilled that it actually worked.
“Oh, that’s horrifying,” James said as he looked through Remus in the mirror and Sirius playing with the radio back in his room. “Like dark magic.”
“Just science,” Remus said.
“Didn’t you have to press a button so he can hear?” James asked as he took the radio from Sirius’ hand.
“I can read your lips, you dumbass,” Remus responded, and Sirius started to laugh.
James frowned and covered his mouth with his hands and turned to Sirius “Pretend I said something awful about him.”
“He said you’re a smartass,” Sirius said as he pressed the button, Remus gave James a look, eyebrows raised.
“I didn’t–” he started and took back the radio, snatching it from Sirius with a lot more purpose, “I didn’t say that! He made that up.”
“Why would I make that up?” Sirius said innocently.
“To fuck with me.”
Remus started to laugh from the other side, and then pressed the button, “What else did you get?”
Sirius pulled another box while James started to play with the different buttons of the radio, “Read this first,” the longer-haired boy said as he passed the instructions to James who groaned but did as told.
Sirius had gotten a good deal of stuff. It wasn’t weird that he got a bunch of gifts since he stayed at the Potters, his mother used to reject most of the gifts, but he had gotten tons of chocolate from girls every time he stayed over with James. Most of them would end up with Remus’ stash later on. This year he didn’t get as many chocolates, but he still got a good deal of stuff, some from people he didn’t even know.
“I swear every year he gets more stuff,” James said as he shook his head in disbelief. He had been partly to blame since he had gotten him a massive quidditch gear kit for morning practices. Peter had gotten him a magic puzzle that changed every few minutes. Andromeda had sent him some other cool muggle things she’d found, and he was absolutely fascinated by the 8 ball she’d gotten him. It was a ball that you could ask things to and when you turned it around it responded, like a divination device, except with no magic involved. The best part was the ridiculous things it said: “Outlook not so good, try asking your cat”, “Ask again later, I'm napping”, “Signs point to tacos. Always tacos” and his personal favourite, and the main reason Dromeda had gotten it “Are you serious? (No, seriously, are you?)”.
She had also gotten both James, him, Remus and Peter, pet rocks. Now neither of them had a clue what that was, but Dromeda said all the cool kids had one of those with the muggles. The rock came in a box and had a rather detailed manual on how to take care of it, and even a back story claiming that it had been “trained” in Mexico by a pet handler named Pedro.
“You also got a rock?” Remus asked as he pulled one from the side and showed it to the boys through the mirror. Remus’ rock had his eyes slightly further apart than Sirius’. “I named mine Cornelius.”
“Cornelius?” Sirius asked with a frown as he stared at his friend’s rock through the mirror, “Now that you mention it, it does kind of look like a Cornelius.”
“Mine will be Lily,” James said as he took him out of the box. It was a red-ish rock.
“You can’t name your pet Lily!”
“It’s a rock,” James said with a shrug, “I can name it however I want.”
“What’s yours?” he asked as he pointed at Sirius’ rock.
“It’s… Bowie.”
“Hm… love it,” James nodded as he stared at his friend’s rock. The two of them carefully placed them on the side table, as if they were actual, delicate pets and not just, rocks.
They continued opening their gifts, Sirius was absolutely fascinated with yours. He loved the drawing books and pens and markers, the mixtape that you’d gotten him and the watercolours, but he was pretty much obsessed with the penknife. He loved that it had his name on it and he used it to open the rest of his gifts, then he pocketed it and kept it with him the rest of the day.
He was helping Monty peel some potatoes –with his penknife instead of a spell– when James decided to tease him about it.
“You’ve been carrying that around all day,” he said as if it were a throwaway comment while he tried to make a pile of oranges.
“It’s super useful.”
“Oh, so it has nothing to do with the fact that it was a gift from Vixen?”
Monty eyed Sirius with a knowing smile and went back to his cooking.
“That’s just a bonus,” Sirius responded and placed the finished potato in the bowl. “It’s got my name on it, mate,” he said as he moved the knife to the side. “Also, she mentioned she charmed it, but she said I had to figure out what the charm is.”
“Maybe she just said that to have you think about it for ages, and it’s not actually charmed.”
Sirius stopped moving for a second, looking at nowhere in particular as he considered the possibility before letting a short breath out and shaking his head, “Nah, it’s got some kind of magic, I can feel it.”
James, just to tease his friend, further shrugged with an unconvinced air, “If you say so.”
Sirius just took another potato and started peeling it with a small frown. He was about 80% sure he could feel magic on the knife. But he was surrounded by magic, in an extremely magical household, literally every single person around him could wield magic, so it was possible the knife was just reflecting the energies from his environment.
By dinner time, there were some more people in the house. Andromeda, Ted and their daughter Dora had been invited by the Potters since they knew how much Sirius loved seeing his cousin, but she had to skip the dinner since Dora had gotten a fever from playing all day in the snow. The Weasleys had also been invited, Dumbledore had introduced them to Monty a few years back and they were rather fond of each other, even if Arthur was much younger. He had arrived with Molly and their 3 sons: Bill, Charlie and the newborn Percy.
Bill had followed James around the moment he spotted him, and James had shown him some of his old toys, and they all played a game of Exploding Snap with Sirius. There were other Wizards there too, Alastor Moody, who had a very animated conversation with Arabella Fig, Elphias Dodge and both Seraphina Nightshade and her boyfriend Roan Elmore, whom James had met at the party shortly after you and Remus did.
“That’s Roan, Seraphina’s boyfriend.”
“She’s dating someone?” Sirius asked, amused. Seraphina was beautiful, the entire school knew that, but he had no idea she had been dating someone.
“Yeah, he was at Slughorn’s party,” James said and snapped his fingers and took a pair of identical cards, the cards shuffled themselves back onto the table.
“Who’s Slughorn?” asked Billy as he snapped his fingers, Charlie just behind him, was attempting to do the same as his brother, but not quite managing to make a sound.
“The Potions teacher,” Sirius responded as he placed his wand on top of one of the cards and snapped his fingers as well. The rest of the cards on the table started to explode and then they shuffled themselves back together. “You probably won’t like him.”
“I won’t?” Bill asked, his red eyebrows furrowing just a little bit, Sirius thought he looked cute, and he didn’t like little kids all that much.
“He might,” James said with a shrug.
“He won’t if he’s one of the good ones,” Sirius retorted and then snapped his fingers and took a pair of cards.
“I don’t like him at all then,” Bill said with determination, he definitely wanted to fit in with the cool crowd, that obviously being the older boys: Sirius and James. He didn’t need to do much, both boys already liked Bill, if he were their age, he’d probably be part of their gang.
“Me neither,” Charlie added, “Unless he has a dragon.”
“Charlie, people don’t have dragons,” Bill said in a rather exasperated tone, as if it wasn’t the first time he’d said something like that and then snapped his fingers, taking a pair of cards.
Charlie tried to do the same and snapped his fingers, only for them to make no sound again. “But they could,” he insisted, sighed as if he too was tired of having that same argument with Bill and then walked towards Mrs. Weasley, she was talking to Effie about something in a rather hushed tone while Mr. Weasley struggled to get Percy to stop crying a few feet from them.
Sirius was about to snap his fingers again when he felt a sharp pain in his hand, “ah fuck,” he said as he pulled his hand from the table.
“You all right?” James asked, as he snapped his fingers and took the cards Sirius was going to take.
Sirius was staring at his palm confused, the scar from the scary witchcraft store had hurt almost in the same way it had when the necklace burned it on his hand. It was a lot less visible now, but the pain had been the same.
It wasn’t the first time it happened. It had sometimes bothered him back in the day, but it had never been as sharp as today. And it had kind of stopped since you came to Hogwarts. He assumed it must have been some kind of protean charm, but he had no idea how, and if he could use it at all. All he knew was that it hurt sometimes, and it reminded him of you, which he really didn’t like thinking back when you weren’t around.
“Yeah, I think I bit myself or something,” he lied and turned back to the game, snapping his fingers and taking another pair of cards.
James eyed him suspiciously and then the cards shuffled on the table again, completely stealing his train of thought, especially when Bill snapped his fingers and took the pair of cards he was about to take.
In the end, Bill won the game. He was awfully good for a six-year-old, and both Sirius and James were a bit out of practice.
“There you go,” Sirius said as he passed him 3 sickles.
“Thank you,” Bill said, by then Charlie had already come back and was tugging on his brother’s pants. “Charlie, I won them,” he complained as James paid up.
“If I could play, I’d win too!” Charlie complained, “I want to save for the toy dragon at Whimsy Wonders.”
“Well, technically, he helped Bill, didn’t he?” James asked, eyeing Sirius.
“Oh yeah, moral support,” Sirius agreed. “I feel like we owe him for that as well.”
Charlie’s face glowed looking at them. “No, he wasn’t playing,” Bill said.
“Oh, but he was,” James said and handed Charlie a sickle, Sirius did the same. “You wouldn’t have won without him, right?”
Bill frowned, as if about to say he was perfectly capable of winning without Charlie pestering him about dragons, but there was something on James’ gaze that had him hold it. He sighed, “Of course, Charlie helped…”
Charlie smiled widely and ran towards Mrs. Weasley. “Mom, Mom, Look!” he said. “We beat the older kids!” he repeated. James chuckled as he saw the small boy jump about, and then Monty called everyone towards the table.
The Potter’s party table was long and round, with different panels that rolled inside to have the food and snacks pass around and stay within everyone’s reach. Of course, wizards could just float whatever they needed their way, but both Monty and Effie thought it was annoying to have the salad dressing and bread basket cover the face of the person they were trying to talk to so they designed the table to be able to have a pleasant conversation.
Sirius was sitting in between James and Charlie, who was determined to sit with them even if he was meant to sit with his brother. Sirius didn’t mind it much, Charlie mostly talked about dragons, and for a 4-year-old, he seemed to have encyclopedic knowledge of them. While Bill, who was always listening to him go on and on about dragons, found it annoying, Sirius and James thought it was actually interesting.
He was telling Sirius about the Ukrainian Ironbelly and how he wanted to get a wand with a dragon heartstring core when he turned 11 when Monty stood up and thanked everyone for coming to the party, which prompted Charlie into silence.
Monty’s speech was heartfelt and honest, just like he was all the time, and while he didn’t explicitly say anything related to the war, he did mention that they were living in dark times, and for such reason, it was time to keep those whom you love at an arm’s length, to take care of each other and to check up on them as often as possible. He said that sometimes even the simplest of messages made the difference.
When his speech was done, there was a small toast, and then they got to eat. Sirius dived straight for the potato souffle since he had helped with the preparation and thought the amount of cheese they had added was mouth-watering, he also waited a couple of seconds for the inside panels of the table to spin around so he could reach for some of Monty’s special turkey. He had tried it the first Christmas he spent with the Potters and since then he always waited eagerly for dinner time to be able to eat it again.
He had even asked Monty for the recipe, but he had never gotten around to preparing it himself, although this Christmas Monty had him do some of the garlic mincing and spices blending for him, so he learned all the techniques. Sirius was more than happy to help, he found the kitchen to be a relaxing place (as long as it was the Potter’s kitchen and Monty was the head chef).
Effie was a lot more demanding in the kitchen, and if he had never dared to enter the one in Grimmauld Place, he was sure to come out as a roasted chicken instead of with one. Kreacher had always been awful to him, and the kitchens were his and Walburga’s territory exclusively.
Sirius was about to take another bite of his turkey, Charlie was talking about a Common Welsh Green and how elegant he thought they were when he felt another pang on his hand. Sharper and a lot more concentrated this time around. He dropped his fork and it clanged against the plate. He looked up, worried, out of habit more than anything, only to realise he was at home, and not with Walburga where he might have been awfully reprimanded.
With the Potters it was different, in fact, Monty gave him a short questioning look, clearly asking if he was all right, to which Sirius nodded. Monty went back to his talk and allowed James to check on Sirius instead. Meanwhile, Effie raised her voice just a little, covering up for the loud sound Sirius had caused and Molly laughed loudly at something Alastor said. Sirius looked around with a small smile.
Yeah, this is home, he thought as he pulled his hand towards him and placed his thumb over the already faded scar.
“Mate, that’s the second time today,” James said, looking at Sirius with a frown.
“I don’t know what’s with it either,” he admitted with a shrug.
“You wanna skip dessert? Go sleep?”
“Nah, I’m sure it’s nothing,” Sirius lied, trying to push aside the unsettling feeling gnawing at his mind. It had been months since it last troubled him, and this time it felt worse, not even in the aftermath of Mexico when he discovered how annoying it could be, but back then he assumed it was just the healing process, he didn’t know about Protean charms and, even now, he didn’t know why it was happening, perhaps then he would have reacted faster.
Regardless of the uneasiness, Sirius intended to enjoy the dinner, and he did, in between eating, joking with James and hearing Charlie talk about dragons, he was distracted from the pain so often that by the time he went to sleep, he had almost completely forgotten about the discomfort. That was until he actually fell asleep.
In his dream, Sirius found himself in an eerie scene, surrounded by his family, yours, Evan, Arkalis, and even the Dark Lord. Regulus was speaking to him, then he cast a hex on his brother, and suddenly they were torturing Muggles. That’s when he realised he wasn’t himself; he was seeing things through your eyes as if you had lent them to him.
He saw his cousin Bella and then your friend, Nina who was being tortured with an unforgivable. That’s when you reacted, there was a fire. Not any fire, Fiendfyre. The massive Chimera you created was burning everything in its wake. Chaos ensued, lives were lost, and you fled.
He saw how you ran alongside Nina until you were further enough away, but Lucius showed up out of nowhere. You duelled him, almost won, but Nina was hit by a stunning spell and you lost it, throwing yourself over her and crying, desperate to bring her back, but she wasn’t responding. There was a blinding light and he heard Barty’s voice.
“Sirius!” a voice called from a distance. “SIRIUS!”
He jolted awake, with a confused gaze as if trying to get back to reality, “James?”
“You’ve been muttering Vixen’s name over and over, and you’re sweating,” James said, his hand on Sirius’s forehead. “I think you were having a nightmare.”
Sirius frowned, his pulse fast and his breathing short, still struggling to ground himself. The dream had felt so real as if he really had been you, as if he really had gone through all that stuff, perhaps he had drunk too much of that Dragon Wine after listening to Charlie go on and on about how the process of slowly heating the conserve with dragon breath was “so fascinating”.
It’s not that he didn’t think it was interesting, but no matter what you said, Charlie found a way to connect it with dragons and after a while, it did get dizzying.
“Yeah, it was awful,” Sirius admitted. “Thank Merlin it was just a dream.”
James nodded and threw himself next to Sirius, taking the rock Andromeda had given him and tossing it from hand to hand. Back when they were smaller, James would sleep with Sirius whenever he had a nightmare. It reminded Sirius of Reggie and he always felt a lot more at ease when he wasn’t alone on the bed. He didn’t do it much anymore, Sirius’ nightmares had decreased, and he had also gotten a lot better at hiding when he had some.
“I’ll go take piss,” Sirius said as he stood up. James threw him a side glance and watched his friend walk all the way to the bathroom attentively. He wasn’t sure when had been the last time Sirius had had such a distressing nightmare, and the fact that it had to do with you, must have been even more upsetting.
He understood it much better now that he had Lily, he wanted to protect her more than anything in this world and the thought of something, anything, happening to her was enough to make his bIood run cold. He was scared of things happening to her, and he assumed Sirius must have been just as scared of things happening to you. Especially with how things were now. At least you were a pure-bIood, not as much of a target for deatheaters as Lily was.
In truth, James had sent notes to Lily every day since he got home, not because he missed her so dreadfully that he couldn’t go a day without talking to her –which was also kind of true- but because he was terrified he wouldn’t see her again. There were rumours of death eaters going for muggle-borns now. And James had read about a student from 2nd year disappearing along with her family last month. Nobody knew where Jane Bishop and her parents were.
Sirius walked towards the bathroom as quietly as possible, he didn’t know the time, but he didn’t want to wake up anybody by accident either. He went straight to the sink and tried to wash the sweat off his face, letting some of the water pool in the sink to be able to clean his neck better. When he dug his hand into the water, is when he realised things hadn’t been just a nightmare.
He felt like he had been hit in the stomach and stumbled back a couple of steps until his back crashed against the back wall, then he saw Barty right in front of him, throwing a stunning spell at his face. He didn’t move, but the bathroom dissolved behind him and he appeared to be sitting in the snow, looking up at the Shrieking Shack, completely surrounded by snow. His eyes, although actually opened, slowly closing and opening again.
One moment he was there, and the next, he saw James crouching right in front of him, with a concerned expression.
“It wasn’t a dream,” Sirius managed to mumble.
“What?”
“It wasn’t a dream!” he repeated a little louder, grabbing onto the towel rack to stand back up again, James helped pull him up and he bolted out of the bathroom.
James looked at his friend and waved his wand over the mess, all things slowly going back into place, the faucet closing and the sink emptying as he walked behind Sirius.
“What do you mean by that?”
“I think shit went down at Rosier’s Christmas party,” Sirius muttered as he paced around the room, “And it was because of Vixen.”
“When you say shit went down…”
“I mean Fiendfyre and dеad people,” Sirus said looking up at James with a stony expression. “But that’s… she somehow ended up in the Shack, Barty stunned her just outside-”
“Sirius–” James said in a comforting tone.
“We need to do something, she might get hypothermia if she stays out for too long, she–”
“Sirius!” James called again, a lot more stern now, grabbing onto his friend’s shoulders and shaking him to get his attention. “Are you sure it wasn’t a nightmare?” Sirius swallowed thickly, his eyes watering as he nodded. James took a deep breath, “Okay, I’ll talk to my parents, we can confirm with–”
“No!! Sirius said, snapping out of James. “It was real, and she’s alone, in the snow, pretty much passed out, we have to do something. Maybe I can apparate there or–”
“You’ll splinch.”
“Damn it, James!” Sirius snapped. “I can’t just sit here and do nothing!”
“Remus!” James said, looking up at Sirius.
“Remus?” Sirius asked, confused.
“He’s at school, he can take the passage and–” Sirius didn’t even let James finish, he had already run towards the mirror and the radio, flashing the mirror with lumos and shouting at the small microphone.
“Sirius?” Remus asked confused from the other side of the line.
Sirius was quick to fill him in, and Remus had put a coat on in seconds.
“Wait!” James said as Remus pocketed the mirror and walked towards the door. Remus took the mirror out and looked at the two boys. “What if it’s a trap?”
“If Vixen’s in danger, I don’t care if it’s a trap,” Remus said, with the same determination as Sirius when he was about to risk splinching.
“Remus?” Sirius said, doubtful.
“Yeah?” the boy responded through the radio.
“Just be careful, okay?”
“I will,” the boy reassured and pocketed the mirror again.
After that, there was radio silence.
Sirius paced around the room, Monty and Effie had woken up and walked towards them. Effie had a note in her hand and seemed to be hesitating to speak.
“What is it?” Sirius asked.
Effie looked to the side and wet her lips before looking back at her boy. “It’s her mother, Avis” –she hesitated– “She’s dеad.” Effie said as she let out a short breath, “there was dark magic that went out of control, Rosier Manor was badly damaged. No one knows where she is.”
“She’s not there,” Sirius reassured.
Effie frowned and James explained to both of his parents what had happened. Monty went to place a hand on Sirius’ back as they sat on the bed. The boy’s leg kept bouncing, but there was no news, neither from you nor from Remus. All he could see was the dark fabric from Remus’ pocket through the mirror.
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1968 [Chapter 4: Zeus, God Of Thunder]
A/N: Can you believe we're already 1/3 done with this series?? I sure can't! I hope you enjoy Chapter 4. I'm so excited to show you where we're headed. The times are indeed a-changin'... 😉
Series Summary: Aemond is embroiled in a fierce battle to secure the Democratic Party nomination and defeat his archnemesis, Richard Nixon, in the presidential election. You are his wife of two years and wholeheartedly indoctrinated into the Targaryen political dynasty. But you have an archnemesis of your own: Aemond’s chronically delinquent brother Aegon.
Series Warnings: Language, sexual content (18+ readers only), violence, bodily injury, character deaths, New Jersey, age-gap relationships, drinking, smoking, drugs, pregnancy and childbirth, kids with weird Greek names, historical topics including war and discrimination, math.
Word Count: 7.3k
Tagging: @arcielee @huramuna @glasscandlegrenades @gemmagirlss1 @humanpurposes @mariahossain @marvelescvpe @darkenchantress @aemondssapphirebussy @haslysl @bearwithegg @beautifulsweetschaos @travelingmypassion @althea-tavalas @chucklefak @serving-targaryen-realness @chaoticallywriting @moonfllowerr @rafeism @burningcoffeetimetravel-fics @herfantasyworldd @mangosmootji @sunnysideaeggs @minttea07 @babyblue711
💜 All of my writing can be found HERE! 💜
You unzip the floral suitcase that Alicent gave the nurses to pack for you. Inside are the hundreds of greeting cards sent by people from the Atlantic to the Rockies; downstairs, Eudoxia is distributing a dozen bouquets of flowers throughout the house with appropriate grimness, and more arrive each hour. You lift cards out of the suitcase by the handful and lay them down on your bed. Every movement feels slow, every thought muddled, bare feet in cold wet sand that swallows you to your ankles. The windows are open, the sheer curtains billowing. The wind whips in off the ocean, smelling of brine and sun glare, life and death.
Aemond emerges from the bathroom in a gale of steam. He finishes adjusting his eyepatch and then dresses himself: white shorts, blue polo. Aemond wears a lot of blue. It is Greek, is it American, it is the Democratic Party, it is the color of the sky that was once believed to hold Olympus, it is everything he’s ever been or wanted to be. He’s humming The House Of The Rising Sun. It’s the first time you’ve truly been alone since the night before he caught his flight to Tacoma.
Beneath the greeting cards you find the books, cosmetics, and three new sundresses, none of which you ended up wearing home. Alicent bought you a plain black shift dress, matching gloves and flats, and opaque sunglasses to hide your face from the journalists who waited outside the hospital. And there is one last item to unpack. At the bottom of the suitcase is a clear plastic bag containing fabric, white dotted with bruises of common blue violets. At first you are confounded, and then you turn it over to see the dark, saturated stain of crimson. It’s the sundress you were wearing the day you were rushed to Mount Sinai to have Ari. The nurses hadn’t known if you wanted to keep it, burn it, bury it.
“Why didn’t you come back?”
Aemond’s brow furrows, like he’s surprised by the question. He goes to his writing desk and turns the chair around so it’s facing you. He sits, crosses one leg over the other, leans back and hides his hands in his pockets. His tone is gentle, but his gaze is hard. “By the time I heard that you’d had the baby, it was already over. You were out of surgery, he was in an incubator, and that was the immutable reality. I figured there was nothing I could do at that point to improve the outcome. And that’s true. Me flying back early wouldn’t have changed anything.”
“But you should have been there,” you insist, eyes wet, voice quivering. “You should have known him like I did.”
“Winning Washington was important.”
“Washington is a basket of votes, Ari was our child, he was real.”
“No one told me he was dying—”
“Because you didn’t pick up the fucking phone.”
Aemond is incredulous, like he couldn’t have heard you correctly. “It’s not like I was playing golf or drinking myself under some bar, I was campaigning 20 hours a day and it worked.”
“Nothing on earth could have kept me away from you when you got shot in Palm Beach.”
“So maybe it wasn’t just about Washington,” Aemond says, and his words aren’t gentle anymore. They are razored, dauntless, daring you to battle him. “It’s about the whole picture, it’s about the momentum. If I had underperformed in Washington, the dominoes would fall in Kentucky, and Utah, and Virginia, and then at the national convention in August, and then against Nixon in November. I don’t have the luxury of disappearing from the public eye to sit adoringly by your bedside when we both know there isn’t a single goddamn thing I can do to help.”
“It would have made you look like a better man.”
“But not a better president.”
And like a fracture being snapped back into place, you remember what Aegon said on that bloodstained night in Florida: You’re a vessel. You’re a cow. And one day he’ll be done with you. You stare down at the ruined dress entombed in plastic, still clutched in your hands. You don’t dare to let Aemond see your eyes. You’re afraid you won’t be able to disguise the betrayal glistening there. You ask, a whisper, a whimper: “Why aren’t you sad?” I thought you loved him. I thought you were always so worried about him.
“Of course I’m sad,” Aemond says, more kindly now, patiently, like he’s speaking to someone who can’t be expected to comprehend. “But it’s different for the mother.”
You can’t reply. If you do, something lethal will pour out, smoke and poison and arrows, something that shoots to kill. Ari was quietly interred at the Targaryen family mausoleum in Saint George Greek Orthodox Cemetery in Asbury Park. It had felt so wrong to leave his tiny casket there in a silent stone prison full of strangers.
Aemond is behind you now, trying to knead the tension out of your shoulders. And for the first time in two years, you wish he’d stop touching you. Your belly hurts, your head hurts, your heart hurts, you are a garden blooming with bruises and scars. “I know you aren’t in your right mind. Everything will be better soon. I promise.”
Tears gather on your eyelashes. “I miss him.”
“We’ll have others. Here, let me take that…” Aemond grabs the bag holding your ruined dress and it’s out of your reach before you can think to resist. “You should get ready for dinner.”
“Okay,” you reply numbly, now gazing down at your empty palms. Aemond leaves with his grisly parcel, and you never see it again. But once he’s gone you don’t shed your black mourning dress, blood-soaked pad, bandages, and shake loose your hair and step into the shower. Instead, you walk around the bed to pick up the mint green rotary phone on your nightstand. You speak to a series of operators before you reach the Harbour Rocks Hotel in Sydney. While you listen to the ringing through the intercontinental wire, you sit down on the bed. You’ve never felt low like this. You’ve never felt so unmoored from everything you had believed about your life.
A gruff, familiar voice answers. He’s just waking up, slurping on his morning coffee, dabbing his moustache with a napkin. “Hello?”
“Daddy, I don’t think I’m where I’m supposed to be.”
“What?” he asks, and immediately he is no longer groggy but desperately concerned. Your parents are away on a month-long tour of Australia and often incommunicado. By the time they received news of Ari’s death and called Mount Sinai in hysterics to speak with you, you had told them not to rush home. You were about to be released, and they would not make it in time for the funeral regardless. Aemond insisted on a swift, private ceremony, a detour on the drive back to Asteria, like it was something he couldn’t wait to put in his rearview mirror. “What are you talking about, sweetheart?”
“Aemond, he…” He’s not the man I thought he was. I don’t know him, I don’t trust him. “He’s not acting right, he’s not…he didn’t…Daddy, it’s like he doesn’t care. And I don’t want to be here anymore. Can I fly down to Tarpon Springs when you and Mama get back? Can I stay with you for a while? And then…and then…” You don’t even know what words you’re looking for. They don’t exist in your universe.
“Listen, honey,” your father says with great tenderness. “Are you listening?”
“Yeah.” You’re trying to stifle your sobs so no one downstairs hears you.
“You’ve just been through something terrible. So terrible I can’t even imagine it. And of course you’re feeling out of sorts. But Aemond is your husband, he’s your protector and your ally, your best friend, your partner in life. He’s not the one responsible for what happened. You can’t misdirect your heartache at him.”
“But he’s…Daddy, there’s…there’s something wrong with him.”
“Oftentimes, it’s easier for women to talk about their emotions, both good and bad. But for men—especially men like Aemond who are so self-disciplined by nature—it can be like pulling teeth to express themselves. They don’t like to be vulnerable. They actually think they’re failing in their commitments to their wife if they let her see how much they’re struggling. Aemond is hurting just like you are. He might not show it in the way you expect, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t care. Of course he cares.”
How do you know, Daddy? Have you cut him open and studied his brain, his ropy nerves, the dark chambers of his heart? “I thought he saw me like you see Mama, I thought he included me in everything because he loved and respected me, but that’s not it. He just needs someone to help him get elected, that’s all Ari and I were to him, and I can’t…I just can’t…the thought of him touching me now…”
“Sweetheart, Aemond is a good man,” your father says. “He does love you. He does respect you. And he’s doing such incredible things for this country. I have friends in Florida who’ve been voting Republican since Hoover, but they’re crossing over for Aemond. They think he’s the one to clean up this mess. Vietnam, poverty, civil rights, the riots, the shootings, the hippies, the drugs, the Russians, the Chinese, someone has to pick up the pieces and create something that makes sense. Do you think Nixon or Humphrey would end the war by this time next year? Do you think either of them would compel the South to enforce voting rights or desegregation?”
“No,” you say, closing your eyes. But that doesn’t mean I can forget what I’ve learned about Aemond.
“Here, your mom wants to say something.” Your father vanishes; your mother’s voice comes piping across the copper submarine cables that span the length of the Pacific Ocean. You wonder—randomly, distractedly—if any of the wires connecting you to Sydney run through Arizona, the place Aegon told you he didn’t want to leave.
“Hello? Are you there?”
“I’m here, Mama.”
“Oh, honey,” she sighs, distraught, hearing the exhaustion and misery in your voice. “You’ve got the baby blues, and no baby to hold good and close to help them run their course. I’m so sorry. It’s just awful, so awful.”
You speak before you know what you’re going to say. “I don’t want to be married to Aemond anymore.”
“You’re confused, sweetheart. Your hormones are all over the place, you’re in pain, you’ve just had major surgery, and after this year with all the stress from the campaign and that horrific shooting in Palm Beach—”
“He’s not like Daddy.” Tears are flooding down your cheeks; your voice is hoarse. “I thought he was, but he’s not.”
“You cannot make a mistake like this,” your mother says, and she’s turned from silk to steel. “If you do something drastic now, you’ll wake up in a month or six months or a year and realize you’ve ruined not just your life, but the chance this country had at a better future. Don’t you realize what’s at stake here? Every marriage goes through tough times. Every husband needs to learn how to care for his wife, and every wife how to best support her husband. That’s natural, and you’ve only been married two years. Of course you and Aemond are still learning how to navigate life together. It only seems so much worse because of what’s happened to the baby.”
Is she right? Am I wrong? “I don’t know,” you say weakly.
“If you leave now, what happens?” your mother demands. “You abandon the campaign and Aemond’s support plummets. You are a divorcee, a sinner, a failure. You don’t get your son back. But you do lose everything you’ve helped build. Marriage isn’t an experiment, ‘oh let’s give it a try and if we hit any bumps we’ll call the whole thing off.’ No. It’s a covenant. Marriage is for life.”
Yes it is, in just about every faith, and certainly for the Greek Orthodox Church. You are suddenly consumed by mistrust for your own body, this flesh that failed your son and now is deceiving you with doubt so heavy—like cold iron or lead or platinum—it masquerades as truth. How could you imagine a life after Aemond? What waits for you in Tarpon Springs besides the promise of an eventual remarriage that is banal, powerless, bleak, exactly what you’ve always plotted so willfully to avoid?
“Do you understand me, honey?” your mother asks, and she’s soft and kind again. “I don’t mean to be strict with you. My heart breaks for you, and I love you. I’m not trying to upset you. I’m trying to protect you from yourself.”
“Yes.” There are people getting massacred in Vietnam right now; there are people who can’t afford roofs over their heads. Who am I to complain? Your tears have stopped; your breathing is now slow and measured. “Yes, Mama. I understand.”
After you’ve hung up, you stay where you are for a long time, your hands folded limply in your lap and gazing at the paintings hung on the pale blue walls: small replicas of The Birth of Venus, Romulus and Remus, Prometheus Bound, Perseus Rescuing Andromeda, Echo and Narcissus, Jupiter and Io. Then you get up to sift through the greeting cards you’ve piled on the bed, not really seeing them. Only one captures your attention. Only one jolts you out of the fog like a flash of lightning through dark churning clouds.
You take the card Aegon gave you back when you were still a mother and set it upright on your nightstand, consider it for a while, wander into the bathroom to scrub the despair from your skin and change into something less somber for dinner.
~~~~~~~~~~
You’re playing Battleship with Cosmo by the edge of the swimming pool while all the other children splash around, howling with laughter and diving for toys they throw to the bottom and then fetch with their teeth like golden retrievers, G.I. Joes and Barbies and Trolls and even a waterlogged Mr. Potato Head. The nannies are observing intently, poised to leap in if anyone should appear to be at risk of drowning. If Ari had lived, I wouldn’t have wanted nannies to raise him, you think. I would have wanted him to have a normal childhood. I would have wanted to know him.
“Your turn,” Cosmo says with a grin. He’s the one who looks the most like Aegon, or how you imagine Aegon must have looked before the pills and the booze and the long caged decades. His hair is so light a blonde it’s nearly white, his eyes huge and glimmering and mischievous. Battleship is a bit advanced for a five-year-old. Cosmo keeps guessing the same coordinates over and over, so you periodically lie and tell him he’s sunk one of your ships. When you launch a successful attack against his, he seems to think it’s fair game to relocate the vessel to a more advantageous location.
“D7.”
He picks up his aircraft carrier and repositions it. From the record player drifts California Dreamin’. “Nope! Nothing sank!”
“Wow. I’m so bad at this.”
Cosmo is snickering. “Yeah, you are. Really bad.”
“If I got drafted, the Army would be better off leaving me at home. I’d just be a nuisance.”
“What’s drafted?”
“Never mind. Your turn to guess.”
“J12!”
The grid only goes up to 10. Nonetheless, you slap your own forehead dramatically. “Oh no, not again! You sunk my battleship!”
“Yay!” Cosmo cheers, then turns to the Jacuzzi. It’s brand new, just installed last month. “Mom, did you see? I’m winning!”
You glance over at Mimi. She has passed out, her latest Gimlet drained and her head resting atop her crossed arms, propped on the rim of the Jacuzzi. “Uh, Cosmo, run inside and ask Doxie to make you a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, okay?”
“Okay.” He scampers off, toddling on reckless little legs.
With no shortage of difficulty, you manage to stand. Each day your abdominal muscles feel less like they’ve been shredded and then mended with threads of fire, but the pain is still bad, very bad, and there are spots of skin on your belly that are numb when you skim your fingertips across them. You will have a long vertical scar like Aemond’s, an irreparable reminder of the blood you’ve paid to the cause. And for all your anguish, this particular fact doesn’t torment you. It is proof that Ari existed, however briefly, however futilely.
You amble over to the Jacuzzi, your roomy lavender dress flowing in the wind, and shove one of Mimi’s shoulders. “Mimi, wake up. Get out of the water.”
She mumbles incoherently in response. You reach for her before remembering you can’t lift anything. You look around. Alicent and Helaena are on lounge chairs at the other end of the pool; Alicent is trying very hard to look interested while Helaena shows her about 100 different butterfly species pictured in a kaleidoscopically colorful book. Criston is off giving Ludwika a tour of the property, flanked by a flock of Alopekis hoping for treats. Ludwika is Otto’s wife of six months but only newly arrived, 30 years old, perpetually unimpressed, modelesque, golden blonde, if Barbie was from Poland. Aemond, Otto, and Viserys—his sparse threads of silver hair hanging like cobwebs around his gaunt face, grimacing and clutching the armrests of his wheelchair—are conspiring on the lawn between the main house and the pool. They haven’t noticed your predicament. Fosco is sauntering by wearing some of the tiniest swim shorts you’ve ever seen. He is the son of an Italian count, gangly and chatty and from what you’ve seen almost certainly addicted to gambling.
“Will you help me move Mimi, please?” you ask him. “I’m afraid she’s going to drown.”
“Of course, of course, no problem. Let me handle it. Do not hurt yourself.” He has her half-dragged out of the Jacuzzi before Mimi startles awake.
“What’s going on?” she slurs. “Put me down, I can walk.”
“I doubt it,” you say.
“You are alright?” Fosco asks Mimi as he steadies her on the cement, wet with pool water. She clutches at his forearms helplessly.
“I’m fine. Absolutely fine.”
“Mimi, go inside,” you say. “Eat a sandwich. Tell Cosmo you’re proud of him for winning Battleship.”
“Battleship? Well, that’s just ridiculous. He’s five. Five-year-olds can’t play Battleship.”
“And yet you will congratulate him regardless.”
She can feel your impatience, your judgement, sharp like wasp stings. Mimi retreats like a kicked dog to the main house, somehow summoning the will to remain mostly upright.
You look to Fosco. “Do you know where Aegon is?” You want to see him, but you also don’t; each time you’re in the same room now is a disorienting storm of familiarity, curiosity, painful reminders, annoyance, awkwardness, longingness to again feel as close to him—to anyone—as you did during those fleeting moments at Mount Sinai Hospital in Manhattan.
Fosco chuckles. “Where is he ever? Napping, sailing, drinking, on the phone with one of his lady friends. I could not say. I have not seen him recently.”
“Okay. Thanks anyway.” The music stops—the record needs to be flipped over—and now you can just barely hear what Aemond, Otto, and Viserys are discussing.
“And you criticized me for going too young,” Aemond says to Otto. “What’s your age difference with Ludwika? 40 years?”
“She’s good publicity. She defected from the Eastern Bloc in search of the American Dream.”
“Being married to you?” Aemond quips. “I think she found the American Nightmare.”
“Speaking of wives,” Otto continues. “I assume since yours had one surgery, that’s how all the future children will need to be born, is that right?”
Aemond nods, frowning. “Yeah. And the doctors said she shouldn’t have more than three. It weakens the uterus, I guess, all that slicing and suturing. Do it too many times and ruptures get more likely, and those can be fatal.”
“Very unfortunate,” Viserys rasps. “Children are our greatest legacy. I wanted at least ten, but your mother…well…after Daeron, it just never happened again.” And you know that this is just one of the ways in which Aemond had planned to win his father’s admiration: by contributing more new Targaryens to the dynasty than anyone else. Now that’s impossible.
Otto sighs wistfully. “To have a brand new baby to parade around in the fall…that would have been wonderful.” For the first time in two years, you can sense that you have disappointed him. Fosco is watching you, uneasy, ashamed, sorry without knowing what to do about it.
“Absolutely,” Aemond says, as if this is not the first time the thought has crossed his mind. “But it’s done now. There’s no sense in dwelling on what might have been. We must look forward. It’s feasible that…well…if we try again and get good news by October, we can announce in time for Election Day…”
You can’t listen anymore. Your belly aching, your bare feet hurrying through warm emerald grass, you traverse the lawn and disappear into Helaena’s garden, painstakingly tended and continuously expanded since she was a little girl. There are marigolds and daffodils, tulips and roses, azaleas, asters, butterfly bushes, chrysanthemums, lilies and lupines, sunflowers, violets, life blooming in a hundred different shades. There are tiny statues too, tucked away in random places, stone angels and untamed creatures, alligators and turtles and rabbits and cats, the only sort the Alopekis will tolerate. At the very center of the garden is a tall circle of hedges with only one opening, an arched doorway cut into the thick lush green. You’ve been here before, though only with Aemond. On a property shared with so many family members—and the occasional intrusive journalist—it’s a good place to escape prying eyes. You pass through the threshold with a hand resting absentmindedly on your belly, as if you’re still pregnant. You keep doing this. Each time you remember you’re at the end of something rather than the beginning, it carves you open all over again.
Around the inside perimeter of the circle are twelve sculptures positioned like numbers on a clock: eleven Olympians and Hades, confined to the Underworld. In the middle of the clearing is the largest stature of all, a wrathful Zeus hurling lightning bolts and surrounded by a gurgling fountain of glass-clear water. Under the shadow of Zeus, Aegon is sprawled on the ground and smoking a joint. “So you’re hiding from them too, huh?” He gives you a sly, welcome-to-the-club smirk, then offers you his joint. “Want a hit?”
You shake your head, not taking another step towards him. “I shouldn’t have done that.”
He is confused. “Done what?”
“Any of it.” I told him about my life before. I made the mistake of thinking I could go back.
Aegon still doesn’t seem to understand. “You’re scared I’m gonna snitch?”
You shrug, evasive. It’s not just the fact that he knows. It’s the sensation that you’ve unlatched something—an attic room, a jewelry box, a birdcage—and now you can’t get it locked again, and the door rattles with every footstep and storm wind, and you are no longer Aphrodite or Io but Pandora, a hunger growing in your stitched womb like a child.
“What? What’s wrong with you?” And that’s always how he says it, not what’s the matter or are you alright or what did I do or how can I fix it?
“I’m kind of…embarrassed, I guess.”
“Embarrassed,” Aegon echoes. “Because of me?”
“I feel like I said and did a lot of things that were out of character because I was emotionally compromised.”
“They were out of character for who you’ve been trying to convince everyone you are since you married Aemond, sure. But they weren’t out of character for you.”
He’s treading too close now, arrows piercing their mark, a tremor near the epicenter. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Au contraire, I have acquired many interesting revelations recently.”
“Where’d you learn French? From Mimi?”
His smile dies. “Boarding school.”
You don’t know how to reply. You don’t know how to be around Aegon without either hating him or letting him see parts of yourself that you’re trying to drown like Icarus in the waves. You glance yearningly towards the doorway cut into the hedges.
All at once, Aegon is furious. “You don’t want to talk to me? You want to go back to how it was before, you want to pretend Mount Sinai never happened? Fine. You got it. Wish fucking granted. Whatever you have to do.”
He turns away from you. You flee from him. But that night when Asteria is hushed and still—Aemond, Criston, and Otto are attending a fundraising dinner in Philadelphia, and you are temporarily excused from accompanying them as you recover—you creep down into the basement of the main house to apologize. Mimi sleeps in a bedroom on the second floor, but here Aegon can keep odd hours and drink and smoke to his heart’s content, and even entertain clandestine guests, girls who are beautiful and giggling and never invited twice.
Aegon isn’t here. He might be passed out somewhere, or at a party, or maybe even upstairs with Mimi, and something about this idea twists through your mending guts like a blade. In his absence, you take a quick look around his room, something you’ve never done before. You hadn’t had any interest; it wouldn’t even have occurred to you. There’s a large green futon, a matching shag carpet, a television, a bookshelf full of notebooks and paperbacks—Kurt Vonnegut, Harper Lee, Sylvia Plath, Truman Capote, Ken Kesey—and vinyl albums, a record player, and his two acoustic guitars. The first is unpainted maple wood covered with stickers. I’d rather be nowhere reads one; Burn pot not people proclaims another. The second guitar is the souvenir he bought in Manhattan, an aquamarine blue six-string.
There's something strange on his end table. Along with a dozen empty cups is a full ashtray, and there’s a folded piece of paper tucked underneath. You slide the paper out and open it. It’s the receipt you used to solve the long division problem in your hospital room.
Why would he keep this? you think, mystified. There are footsteps above your head, and you quickly return the receipt to where you found it and leave before your trespass can be discovered.
When you emerge from the basement, Fosco is waiting in the hallway and carrying a Tupperware container filled with something that resembles kourabiethes, Greek shortbread cookies. “I thought I saw you sneak down there. What were you looking for?”
You scramble for an explanation. “One of the dogs is missing. Alicent wanted me to check the basement.”
“Ah, yes, I see.” He passes you the Tupperware container. “These are for you. I hope they are not too bad. I baked them myself.”
“Are they…” You shake it. “Biscotti?”
“They are ossi dei morti,” Fosco says. “Bones of the dead. We make them to remember loved ones we have lost. They are hard, so you should dip them in coffee or tea before you try to eat them.”
You open the lid. Inside are long thin cookies coated with powdered sugar. You inhale almond flour, cloves, cinnamon. And you are so touched you cannot find your words.
“You know, there still places in Italy where mothers wear black for years to mourn their children.” This is not trivia; it is an acknowledgement. Your son is gone. There is no shame in the grief that is left behind. In another house, it would be expected, it would be required.
“Thank you, Fosco.”
He smiles warmly. “We are in this together, no? We are pieces of the same machine.”
Then he plods off towards the living room, sliding a rolled-up horse racing program out of the back pocket of his tight plaid pants.
~~~~~~~~~~
You’re in Louisville, Kentucky, where thunder quakes the eaves. An hour ago, Aegon was popping Valium and leisurely plucking at his pool water blue Gibson guitar, slumped against the wall, nipping at a flask filled with straight Bacardi. But he’s not anymore. Now he’s gathered around the small color television with you, Criston, Otto, Fosco, Helaena, and Ludwika. The news is just breaking. There was a civil rights protest at the University of Kentucky in Lexington one hour to the east. Someone threw a rock, or someone claims someone threw a rock, or someone threw something that was mistaken for a rock, and in any event the situation escalated from there and local police who were monitoring the demonstration opened fire on a crowd, killing five students and injuring another dozen.
Outside, word is spreading through the crowd of over 2,000 people that have gathered for Aemond’s planned speech at the historic Iroquois Amphitheater, a New Deal project finished in 1938. Rain is pouring, and the venue has no roof. Aemond is already 20 minutes late. The voices are becoming louder, more demanding, more wrathful. They’re shouting that Aemond is too afraid to face them now, that he’s trying to figure out what his statement will be, that he’s cowardly and calculating; and if President Lyndon Baines Johnson was here tonight instead of cursing his bad stars up in Washington D.C., he would certainly have something to say about the capriciousness of voters who love you, hate you, carry you higher, drag you down, all without ever knowing you.
In truth, Aemond is not stalling on purpose. He’s in the bathroom trying to get his prosthetic eye in. It’s been giving him hell all afternoon. He wears his eyepatch at home, but he’s never made a public appearance without his glass eye clean and perfect in his voided socket.
“He’s going to have to say something about it,” you tell the others as you watch the news coverage.
“Say what?” Otto snaps. “If he doesn’t treat those dead kids like martyrs he’s going to get booed off the stage. If he condemns the police he’s going to lose the suburbs. They’ll run to Humphrey now and Nixon in November.”
The weather report called for storms—which is why Alicent, Mimi, and the children are already back at the Seelbach Hotel for the night after a long day of shaking hands and smiling gamely—but no one expected it to get this bad. The room you’re huddled in is just off-stage, so you can see it all: the wind ripping signs and flags from people’s hands, drenched clothes, sopping hair, snarling faces, rain turning puddles to rivers. The stomping of boots is now as loud as the thunder. Rocks and bottles are being pitched at the stage.
“Is America always like this?” Ludwika asks, scandalized.
“No, not at all,” Otto says. “Goddamn animals…”
Aegon replies, not taking his eyes from the television: “You’d be mad too if cops were shooting your friends and the only graduation present you had to look forward to was getting disemboweled by guerillas in Vietnam.”
“I’ve had it with you and your Marxist bullshit! You want to liberate the dispossessed masses? Why don’t you start by donating your monthly drugs and rum budget to the—”
“We should cancel,” Fosco says. “Just call the whole thing off. Tell them Aemond is sick or something.”
“That’s the headline you want? ‘Senator Targaryen hides from grieving supporters who braved a thunderstorm to see him’?! Just give the White House to Nixon now!”
“I don’t think we can cancel,” Criston says softly. “I think if we tried to leave, they’d swarm the car.”
“It’s a riot,” Otto moans, rubbing his face with his hands. “This is what happens when you court voters like this, college kids and hippies, professional malcontents…”
“Aren’t there police outside?” Ludwika says anxiously.
“Yeah, a handful,” Criston tells her. “And if they try to do anything this will erupt and we can add to the body count in Lexington…”
You leave them and follow a hallway to the men’s bathroom; on the periphery of your vision, you can tell that Aegon is watching you go. You push the door open and find a row of stalls and three sinks, one of which Aemond is standing in front of as he stares into his reflection and attempts to shove the prosthetic eye into his empty, gore-red left socket. His suit is navy blue, his hair neatly slicked back, his shoes so polished they’re reflective like a mirror.
“Fuck,” he hisses, flinching. His right cheek is wet with tears of frustration and agony. It’s July 26th, and tomorrow are the final three state conventions in the Democratic primary. Humphrey is almost certain to take Utah; Virginia will go to Governor Mills Godwin, who is only running in his home state to control the delegates and will hand them over to whoever he feels is most worthy in August. But Aemond is the favorite to win here in Kentucky. Or at least, he was an hour ago.
“What can I do? What do you need?”
“You can’t do anything. It’s…it’s this goddamn nerve pain, it feels like I’m being fucking stabbed, I can’t get the muscles to relax enough…”
Like an apology, you say: “Aemond, the crowd is getting out of control.”
“So you came in here to rush me?”
“No, I’m here to help.”
“You’re not helping. You’re doing the exact opposite.”
“I think you should give this speech with your eyepatch on. It looks good, and you’ll be as comfortable as possible, and the crowd won’t have to wait any longer than they have already.”
“No.”
“Aemond, please—”
“No! FDR didn’t make speeches in his wheelchair and I’m not making mine without my eye in.”
“Do you want me to get you Aegon’s pills? Rum, weed?”
“You don’t think I’ve already taken something?” He tries to force his eye in again and strikes his fist against the sink when he can’t.
Then you ask gingerly: “Do you know what you’re going to say about the shooting?”
“Get out!” Aemond shouts. “You’re making it worse, just get the fuck out! Go!”
You bolt from the bathroom, hands trembling, throat burning. You don’t want to return to the television where the others are standing; you’re worried they’ll be able to tell how upset you are. You go to the edge of the stage, arms crossed protectively over your chest, and peek out into the crowd. Above their chants and jeers and howled threats, lightning splits the sky.
I don’ t think we’re going to be able to find our way out of this one. I think this is the end of the road.
“Hey,” Aegon says, tapping your shoulder. “Back up.”
“I’m fine here.”
“No you’re not.” He grabs your arm and tugs you farther backstage. Seconds later, an Absolut Vodka bottle explodes into crystalline shrapnel where you were standing. You yelp and Aegon gives you a little eyebrow raise. I told you, he means.
“Someone has to go out there,” Otto says, still lurking by the television. Fosco is comforting Helaena, who is quietly weeping; Ludwika is watching the news coverage in horror, surely reconsidering all her life choices. A sixth University of Kentucky student has been declared dead. “We can’t wait.”
“No we can’t,” Criston agrees. Then they both turn to you expectantly.
Your blood goes icy. Tonight was meant to be your first official appearance since the baby. Your hair is up, your dress a navy blue to match Aemond’s suit, gold chains around your wrist and throat, a gold chain of a belt. You thought you were ready. But it wasn’t supposed to be like this.
“Don’t you look at her,” Aegon says, sharp like a scalpel, like a bullet, like something that punctures arteries and lungs. “They’re throwing glass. You figure something else out, don’t even look at her.”
Otto relents, perhaps halfheartedly. “No, you’re right. I don’t know what I was thinking.”
Criston starts heading for the bathroom to get Aemond. Otto is watching the television again, his face vacuous as his ambitions are carried away by a flood of rain, wind, rage, blood. Aegon snatches his guitar from where he left it by the wall. He tosses the strap over his head, gives the strings a few experimental strums and retunes them, starts walking towards the stage.
“Aegon, what are you doing?” you ask, panicked.
“Someone has to distract the crowd.”
“No, stop, you can’t—”
“Hey,” Aegon says. And when you glance past him at the uproarious, storm-drenched frenzy, he turns your face back to his to make sure you’re listening. His hand is insistent but gentle, his voice steady. “Don’t go out there. Okay?”
“Okay,” you agree, startled.
He gives you one last small, parting smile, a flash of his teeth, a daring glint in his murky blue eyes. Then he’s out in the torrential rain, soaked to the skin in seconds. His frayed green Army jacket clings to him; his hair is ravaged by the wind. As he takes his place behind the microphone, a stone that someone has hurled skates by him and nicks the apple of his left cheek. You can see a trickle of blood snaking down his sunburned skin before the rain washes it away; you feel a desperate gnawing dread that someone will hurt him, not just here but anywhere, not just now but ever. The crowd is still seething, shouting, stomping their feet to join the inescapable growl of the thunder. Aegon’s pick flies over the guitar strings as he begins playing, raindrops cast from his fingers like spells. At first, you can barely hear him.
“Come gather ‘round, people, wherever you roam
And admit that the waters around you have grown
And accept it that soon you’ll be drenched to the bone
If your time to you is worth saving
And you better start swimmin’ or you’ll sink like a stone
For the times, they are a-changin’”
The audience is settling down now. Some of them are singing along. You can feel that Otto, Ludwika, Fosco, and Helaena are gathering around you, but you don’t grasp anything they’re saying. You can’t tear your eyes from Aegon. It’s like you’re seeing him for the first time, this radiant sunbeam of a man, a light in dark places, a constellation that whispers myths through the ink-spill indigo of the night sky. How could you ever have hated him? How could you ever have thought he was worthless?
“Come writers and critics who prophesize with your pen
And keep your eyes wide, the chance won’t come again
And don’t speak too soon, for the wheel’s still in spin
And there’s no tellin’ who that it’s naming
For the loser now will be later to win
For the times, they are a-changin’”
Aemond and Criston appear beside you at the edge of the stage; Aemond’s prosthetic eye has at last been successfully placed with no lingering evidence of a struggle. You expect him to apologize for what he said in the bathroom, but he doesn’t. Instead he says when he sees Aegon: “What the hell is he doing?”
“Saving your career,” you reply simply.
“Come senators, congressmen, please heed the call
Don’t stand in the doorway, don’t block up the hall
For he that gets hurt will be he who has stalled
The battle outside raging
Will soon shake your windows and rattle your walls
For the times, they are a-changin’”
Now Aegon peers pointedly off-stage to where Otto Hightower is gawking. Aegon beams, throws his head back to get his dripping hair out of his eyes, comes back to the mic.
“Come mothers and fathers throughout the land
And don’t criticize what you can’t understand
Your sons and your daughters are beyond your command
Your old road is rapidly aging
Please get out of the new one if you can’t lend your hand
For the times, they are a-changin’”
Everyone you can see in the crowd is singing and swaying. It’s not just a Bob Dylan song from 1964 but an anthem, a prayer, a rallying cry, a dire warning for the powers at be.
“The line, it is drawn, the curse, it is cast
The slow one now will later be fast
As the present now will later be past
The order is rapidly fading
And the first one now will later be last
For the times, they are a-changin’”
The audience is applauding and whistling. Aegon steals a glimpse of where you are standing backstage, checks that Aemond is still there with you and that he’s ready.
“Ladies and gentlemen,” Aegon broadcasts with a wicked grin. “I am now proud to present the next president of the United States of America, Senator Aemond Targaryen!”
And Aemond is crossing the stage, no trace of pain or self-consciousness or prey-animal fear, no mere mortal but someone chosen by the gods, and the rain is slowing to a drizzle, and the clouds are opening to let through rare pinprick aisles of daylight, and the riotous spectators are now his disciples, exorcised of any rage they’ve ever felt for the scarred senator from New Jersey. He and his family are not the enemy; they are the solution. They are revolutionaries who have bled for the cause. They bring with them the change that is required. Aegon steps back and the rest of you join him in a semi-circle like a crescent moon behind Aemond. When you walk out onto the stage, the cheers swell to screams.
Aegon takes off his guitar and then leans into you. “He’s lucky you aren’t 35,” Aegon whispers, soft lips that curl into a smile as they brush your ear. And he’s teasing you but he’s not mocking, he’s not mean. He’s so close you share the same atmosphere, the same gravity. “Maybe when he finishes up his second term you can start building your resume for your first.”
“I want your endorsement.”
“From the disgraced former mayor of Trenton? What an honor. You’ll have to fight for it.”
You ball up a fist and playfully bump your knuckles against his chin. He pretends to bite at you. And you laugh for the first time since a doctor and priest entered your hospital room 13 days ago. Aegon slings an arm around your shoulders, pulls you against him, soaks you in his rain.
“Today in Lexington, we lost six brave and brilliant souls,” Aemond says, his voice booming through the amphitheater. A hush ripples through the crowd as they listen, enraptured. “Their sacrifice was for the most noble of causes, but they should never have been forced to pay the ultimate price. They deserved long, full lives in a better America than the one we now call home. This tragedy is a symptom of the sickness that has infected this nation, a fatal failure to empathize with our fellow countrymen, a deafness to pleas for justice, a blindness to mercy. But the remedy is within all of us, for it is our own humanity. When we purge the diseases of war, prejudice, and ravenous greed, we will reclaim our best selves—our true selves—and our nation will at last be cured.”
The amphitheater is illuminated with not only strobing lightning but the flashbulbs of cameras. The journalists have arrived just in time.
#aegon ii targaryen#aegon targaryen#aegon targaryen ii#aegon ii#aegon targaryen x reader#aegon x reader#aegon x y/n#aegon x you#aegon ii x you#aegon ii x y/n#aegon ii x reader#aegon ii targaryen x reader#aegon ii fanfic#aegon ii fic
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(TEASER) WAIT FOR YOU TO LIKE ME AGAIN - LSH
READ HERE
; SYNOPSIS - whether it be in the middle of the halls or during his election speech, heeseung's never passed up an opportunity to ask you out on a date. although you've always said no, that hasn't stopped the boy from trying again anyway - at least until senior year, when he suddenly stopped pursuing you, to your (and everyone's) bewilderment.
; PAIRING - heeseung x fem!reader
; TAGS - teaser, one-shot, high school au, president!heeseung, vice president!reader, one-sided enemies to lovers
; WARNINGS - none for the teaser. warnings for the actual one-shot will be mentioned beforehand.
; WC - 389 words. fic is estimated to be 10k+
; WHEN? hopefully by APRIL 17! comment or send an ask if you want to be added to the taglist 🫶
you hated lee heeseung.
throughout the three years you've known him, he's been always the bane of your existence. the boy was constantly bugging you and pulling a new stunt every time to show off and get your attention. all this to ask you out on a date practically every week since the age of fourteen.
seriously, after a hundred 'no's you'd think he'd learn to back off, and yet, he was still persistent in pursuing you.
at least, until your final year began.
see, you two were competing against each other for student council president towards the end of the previous year. despite this, he still insisted that you go out with him throughout the election.
the worst part of the elections was that he was immensely popular (aka. he was an actual threat). on top of being the captain for boys' volleyball team, he was class rep and actively helped out teachers after school. students and teachers alike were drawn in by his hardworking yet casual nature, and how easily he talked to others. it didn't help that during the final election speeches, he had so graciously ended it with "and aren't all these qualities worthy of at least one date?"
of course he still managed to make such a serious event about asking you out. whoops and cheers echoed the hall, with almost everyone looking at you. everyone knew your history, with half the school on his side, cheering him on and urging you to say yes.
thankfully, the other half of the student body understood that no means no, and were more sympathetic towards you.
yet, it was his last sentence that won the people over, and he'd been voted as the president, with you as vice.
"just say yes, one date won't hurt," ningning had chuckled when you groaned about it again to her after she came back from her summer camp.
"yes it literally will? my pride and reputation of always saying no will eat me before i ever agree."
"maybe he'll back off if you do?"
"no number of rejections has stopped him, how would a 'yes' do that?"
"maybe he'll realise you're absolutely undateable," she laughed at you, which had you throwing a pillow at her in retaliation.
you scowled at her before pulling out your phone and finding heeseung's instagram.
; TAGLIST (closed!) perm. @lovelovelovebts @miyseung @babyy-bambii @haechansbbg @gweoriz @maoyueze @manooffline @chocwo @yizhoutv @isawritesss @bobabunhee @rikibun @wonniversity networks. @kflixnet @k-films @/k-labels
; AUTHOR’S CORNER! comeback fic 😝🤞icbb to say more
#·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ mi's works#kflixnet#k-labels#k-films#enhypen#enhypen x reader#heeseung#lee heeseung#heeseung x reader#enhypen heeseung#heeseung fic#heeseung fluff#heeseung angst#heeseung scenarios#heeseung imagines#ੈ♡˳ wait until you like me again
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the night before the finale.
a pre-s1e17 oneshot revolving around the season one finalists.
you have reached the end of the current chapter, but what about the one before it? what happened on the night before one of them went home a millionaire?
the penultimate episode of the first season has just finished airing, and the sun begun to set.
the show once had sixteen contestants fighting for the million-dollar prize, and each night they sleep, there were one (or two) less contestants by their side.
now, there were only two. two contestants.
one who only won a few couple challenges to get this far into the game, and another who kept her true persona a secret just for people to like her more.
both of them have just lost their closest allies in the competition. now, they’re on their own.
together.
the two finalists sat atop a hill, the one where all of them used to rest on. the sun is no longer visible from the sky— only the light of the moon reflected from it. the sky became dark, with a million tiny white diamonds in the sky.
the lettuce-filled “friend” sneakily tapped the glass of her orange competitor.
“hey! hey, oj!”
but the orange beverage didn’t respond. he was sulking over the loss of his best friend, who he thought was going to make the finals with him. now, he’s stuck with some half-witted mexican food.
then he finally takes a deep breath, and slowly turns to her with a sad look on his face.
“not now, taco. can’t you see i’m disappointed? i thought that i could make it with him to the finals! now i’m stuck with you…”
she clears her throat to get in character with her false persona.
“well— i lost my best friend, too! i never thought he would get voted off just when we’re this close to winning!”
“so he voted out him just so that you could advance…”
this argument is unnecessary. you can’t change something that already happened.
“…ugh, forget it. the finale’s tomorrow, and i need to get enough sleep to prepare for the final challenge.”
but both of them knew he wasn’t gonna sleep anytime soon. not with all the pressure from the game. it’s the finale, after all.
“…let me guess, you can’t sleep too.”
she nodded.
the hard-shelled contestant couldn’t sleep at all. she was still beaming with energy! (on the outside.) due to her high stamina, her plan was to tire him out before the finale.
“come on, we never got a chance to hang out at all! the moon’s so pretty tonight! let’s do something fun to tire ourselves out!”
…okay, this was supposed to be a game strategy, but in all sincerity, she actually does want to spend time with him, even just one time. as a treat.
this might be the first and last chance she’ll ever get. win or lose, she might never get to hang out with him again.
but whatever, it’s not like she became fond of anyone in the game at all or anything.
“what do you suggest we should do?”
“well, i dunno. have a little walk while lookin’ at the stars? we never really got to. because of the contest!”
he let out a deep sigh.
“…well, okay. maybe just once.”
the two started going down the hill to the direction of the very sixty-foot cliff where they once stood two years ago, when the show first aired.
taco started sprinting to the cliff, so much that oj couldn’t keep up without losing his balance and his juice in the process.
“h-hey! wait up! i thought we were going for a walk!”
“well, not anymooore-!”
she let out a hysterical laugh.
they finally stopped running when they finally reached the end of the cliff.
“ahaha… we’re heeeere-!”
with her left foot, she points at a certain something from the cliff. he thought she was gonna push him off.
“are you crazy!? are you going to push me off the cliff!?”
“not at all-! just look over there!”
all of those obstacles beyond the cliff weren’t even there before. looks like the host is preparing something big for the final contest.
“oooooh, that looks like the final challenge! so cool!”
“it looks like it’s still a work in progress.”
“well, fugget about it! let’s dance!”
“dance? seriously? with the only one left who’s standing in the way between you and the million? ha! let’s be honest right now. you don’t even have arms!”
“um, yeah i do!”
she unsheathes the arms she hid in her shell for so long, with the exception of a few instances where she actually used them.
“happy now?”
“you hid these the entire time!? you could’ve used these to your advantage!”
“oh, don’t worry! i won’t try to use them in the finale! i’ll try to go easy on you, because we both know i’m gonna win! easy!”
the orange glass teases back.
“haha, oh no, you’re not! because the million belongs to me!”
after a little while, she starts to reach her hand onto his.
“so? let’s go?”
“y-yeah! shall we?”
the energetic one got ahead of herself and unknowingly dragged their feet across the ground.
they turn, and they may tumble, but they both seem to enjoy themselves.
they’ll be rivals tomorrow, sure. but they are fellow competitors still in the running tonight. the only ones left, at that.
even if this bond will come to an end once all of this is over, even if the prize can’t go to the both of them,
they’ll enjoy the little time that they’ve had.
and as promised, they danced until they could barely catch their breath. (they didn’t exactly “dance”. none of them know how to dance! all they did was spin around in circles, hand in hand.)
now, they sat on the exact same spot as before. on the top of the hill.
“wow, that was…”
“crazy?”
“yeah, crazy! did you decide to do all this just to make me feel better after i lost paper?”
“well, i did this to make myself better after losing pickle! hahaha…”
“i guess we aren’t really so different. even if you’re kinda dumb sometimes, you did help me a few times with your lemons.”
“and you helped me win the boxing contest because of how fragile you are!”
“uh, correction! i didn’t help you win, i was just completely defenseless from those darn lemons…”
they begin to tease at each other again.
“i’m still riiiight-!”
“no, you’re nooot-!”
both of them let out some chuckles once again. their eyes are becoming heavy, and they have a big day tomorrow.
“well, good night, taco! i’m going to beat you tomorrow!”
“no! i’m gonna win! hahaha!”
the glass of juice has fallen fast asleep. sleeping upright. i guess that’s just how he sleeps just so that his juice wouldn’t spill all over the place.
before she closed her eyes, she hides her arms within her shell once more, gazed upon his resting face, and let out her true smile. a rather menacing smile, indeed— but her feelings were more… sincere.
for the first and the last time, she whispered,
“good night, oj.”
#waterlemon’s gallery#lem’s fics#inanimate insanity#fanfic#ii oj#oj ii#ii taco#taco ii#english breakfast#< implied if you ever so wish#i did this instead of working on the q&a and the artwork#and its almost 1am lmao#first time actually uploading a fanfic! we did it! hooray!#polymenu posting
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wow!ym fun facts PLEASE I MISS MY GIRLFRIEND
★WOW!YN FUN FACTS
wow!yn, is an ex yg trainee and was supposed to be in babymonster
wow!yn, is a vocalist and has a very soft singing voice which is a complete contrast to her natural speaking voice which is on the deeper side
wow!yn, has the biggest obsession with stars which is why wonyoung calls yn her stargirl
wow!yn, is really close friends with giselle, keeho and yunjin
wow!yn, is a brand ambassador for vivienne westwood and ck
wow!yn, has about six tattoos (including a big one on her back) and a belly piercing
wow!yn, has a big playgirl reputation in the industry
wow!yn, has a little sister apart of new jeans (nwjns!yn)
wow!yn, is a introvert
wow!yn, is a 02
wow!yn, when ive first debuted wow!yn was known as the cute girl with the bow
wow!yn, has had a lot of flings but she has had only had four girlfriends (yuna, haewon, isa and winter)
wow!yn, was a fan of iz*one and her bias was chaewon
wow!yn, written a couple songs for other artists such as wicked love by yena
wow!yn, is known for having crazy fangirls who make up half of the fandom and are crazy involved in sales and views and votes for music shows
wow!yn, is known as the nation’s sweetheart (when she is little anything but that)
wow!yn, is known for her cover of 10 minutes by hyori
wow!yn, is literally the queen of fan service if there’s one thing she knows how to do it’s fill her fans delusions
wow!yn, has a sick look to her like she’s ill but for some reason people like it
wow!yn, is probably the most trustworthy person ever but it never looks like that from the outside
wow!yn, and wonyoung like to walk in the rain with no jackets or umbrellas when the weather is nice, its been a tradition for them since ive summer
wow!yn, had been close friends with yujin for a couple of years before debut
wow!yn, met wonyoung through yujin and the wony ended up taking a huge liking towards yn and convinced her to leave yg and move to starship and she’ll guarantee that they’ll be in a group together (yn ended up training at starship for year before debut during iz*ones last year as a group)
wow!yn, has star tattoo on her neck that she let rei do on her when they were trainees
wow!yn, has a lock necklace from rei that she never takes off
wow!yn, and lesseo fight like siblings to the point that people question if they really like each other (they love each other)
wow!yn, loves to make yujin her target when it comes to teasing
wow!yn, doesn’t like crying and has only cried around two of her members liz and wony and her closest friend giselle
wow!yn, likes to go on late night walks alone but wony never lets her go on her own and always ends up walking with her
wow!yn, is the biggest goof unintentionally and always has her members dying of laughter
wow!yn, has the biggest middle school boy humour which is why she’s the top favourite for the younger boy dives because they connect with her the most (one of them told her a your mom joke at a fansign and had yn laughing for a good five mins)
wow!yn, isn’t a bad girlfriend in the many relationships/flings that she has she treats them like royalty which is why they’re always so stuck on her even after she breaks up with them BUT don’t underestimate her because many times after yn finds out how bad her members and even one of her friends ex partners treated them she will go out of her way to get with them and then treat them like actual shit in the relationship maybe even worse then they treated her members/friends (she’ll become the most toxic person to exist)
wow!yn, gets easily flustered by her member wonyoung who takes pride in that since no one ever flusters yn
wow!yn, can play the electric guitar really well
wow!yn, is a comic nerd and has a whole marvel collection even with one signed
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Personal stream of consciousness around Liam and grief and moving forward
Every day I wake up and Liam is still dead. It continues to sort of feel like at some point I will wake up and that won’t be true, that he’ll be back, like he’s just on a trip right now. And I think that’s… a normal part of the grieving process, but it’s hard because it feels disrespectful, almost.
I only did 8 days of inktober this year. I had another ten sketched out already in my notebook, and now I wonder what to do with those. Some of them were good! (Some weren’t). I was older than Liam by a month or so, but for some reason I want to be able to go to him now, and show him those sketches, and say, I do art too! Aren’t you proud of me?
Death is a horrible and unnatural thing. It was never supposed to happen to us. We grieve because we were not made to lose people. We were made to love them forever. Grief is our body trying desperately to reconcile with a reality it was never made for. That is why it feels this way. We were not made for a life like this. We were made to hold one another in our arms. We were made to love each other. We were made for more.
I want to tell him that. That he was made for more than he got. I hope someday I can.
When tumblr started having polls, I always voted the Liam option, and in part that was because I love Liam and I would’ve chosen him regardless. But in part it was with the thought that, if he were to ever snoop on our community here, I wanted Liam to see that he had people in his corner. I don’t regret that. I’m sad it’s all I could do.
I was thinking about it earlier. About One Direction. I tried to slice it so many ways and I came to the conclusion that Liam and Louis are the ones that I think were the heart. I think 1D could’ve come back together to tour, make music, and so on, as long as it had at least those two. 1D could never exist without Liam. It just couldn’t. He loved them too much.
Obviously, I haven’t turned my queue back on. I haven’t felt right reblogging current day stuff about the boys. It feels like turning that back on will indicate being ready to move on, to some extent. And okay, I’ll never be ready so there’s that. But. The idea of turning it back on doesn’t feel right. Not yet.
That being said, I started last month preparing for Christmas. For the 25 days of fic rec I do, and the advent fic. And of course cards. I had decided just a week before Everything Happened that I couldn’t afford to do physical cards this year. And I feel ten times more guilty about that decision now, because it feels like surely people NEED that! But I am also trying to be realistic with myself; so many wonderful people have offered to help financially, and any other time I think I would’ve taken them up on that, but right now the emotional and mental weight of doing physical cards might also be too heavy.
Which, again, makes me feel like I’m letting people down when they need me. If I could, I would send all of you personalized letters every day. It is so hard to reckon with the knowledge that I am only human and must take care of myself.
But I will do the fic recs. that’s easy; I’ve already finished the post graphics.
And I will do the advent fic (I might change my plot— the original one didn’t have a lot of Liam, but i think I need him there more).
And I will make some sort of digital cards for sure. It occurred to me this year that I never put my paper dolls online anywhere and I sort of wonder why not. At least maybe this will be a treat for anyone too wary of sending a stranger online their address— all of you can print th paper dolls for yourselves. I’ll make plenty of outfits.
So. That’s my plan, I suppose. I’ve cried writing this more than I’ve cried all week, I think because it’s easy to think that I am past the worst of the grieving right up until I have to look head on at the facts again.
I miss him. I miss him. How could this happen.
#liam#ugggghhhhhhhh I am crying again and my EARS ARE RED#bleeeeeghhghghgg#how to make it sound like you’re not crying at your desk when you work in an open plan office??? I dunno I sure do NOT KNOW#😩😩😩😩😩😩
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