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couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name · 4 years ago

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Hi! What is your very specific Twilight AU?

okay, so. New Moon.

party disaster, dumping her and dipping, all happens normally.

but THEN. Bella finds out she’s pregnant.

(and I know you’re thinking- pre-marital sex?!?! Edward would NEVER! but listen. I am the author now. I’ve been around Christians my whole life. shut up!)

so anyway after a million pregnancy tests and a lot of googling about vampire baby legends, Bella’s like...well this is probably gonna be a situation,

Nessie doesn’t have an insane growth rate here because I hate that, so she has a normal amount of time to prepare, and she’s very...aware that the birth is gonna be Rough at best. So she goes to Jacob

who is NOT a wolf yet but Is aware of the pack and the treaty, and they are closer friends already, and she’s like ‘hey. paranormal emergency. you’re the only person in this town who enables me. help.’

and Jacob’s like I’m Fucking Fifteen and goes and gets Leah, since she’s technically an adult and a girl

(ms. meyer How did you make one of leah’s only 3 character traits ‘upset she’s infertile’ and then not have her support bella’s choices in breaking dawn please make it make sense)

so they start brainstorming solutions and the best they can work with is. Bella’s gotta ride out the pregnancy in hiding. they have no way of knowing whether she can survive the pregnancy and the only clue they have about whether the baby will be a monster or not is from google searches, but they also can’t exactly take her to an obgyn when her uterus feels like it’s calcified and her ribs are getting broken and she seems to be craving blood

So, Leah’s got her own little place. Bella moves in there, telling Charlie she wants to move back in with Renee (she knows her parents would never willingly call each other so as long as she keeps up communicating with both of them they should be none the wiser of her growing a little dracula in Leah Clearwater’s basement).

Leah has already defected from the wolf pack at this point (because...the Cullen’s left and she didn’t really like any of the guys anyway lmao) so they don’t run the risk of them hearing her thoughts while she’s in wolf form. She goes out and hunts animals, brings them back and her and Jake drain the blood from them so Bella can drink it. All three of them find this extremely disgusting obviously but Jake’s loyal and a little bit lovestruck, Leah’s a supportive friend and queen, and Bella’s just trying to keep her and her baby alive, and none of them feel like trying to rob a blood bank

Bella is 100% certain the baby will just be a baby who happens to like blood, like she was in bd, but the tentative plan is that if a crazy soulless monster comes out of her Leah will...handle that...

Which neither are thrilled about, so Bella’s just trying to focus on staying positive. And between that, trying to survive and stay hidden, Bella doesn’t really have time to...Check Out the way she did in new moon. Like, she’s absolutely still depressed, and she’s still getting an occasional Edward hallucination because carrying a vampire baby counts as reckless in many books, but she’s just more...resigned and pissed than anything. She’ll have days like the ‘possibilities’ scene, but more often than not she’s just telling the Edward hallucination to go fuck himself when he’s begging her to find the real him so they can have Carlisle deal with the pregnancy

at some point, Seth gets roped into the whole mess (he’s prone to just breaking into his sister’s house) but since he’s like, 13 and The Best Baby Boy he’s immediately supportive. He didn’t even fucking know about the wolves and the vampires until he walked in on a six months pregnant Bella drinking blood while his sister and Jacob are hacking away at a dead deer, but he’s like...you know when you were 13 and sneaking around about Anything made you feel like the coolest person alive? point is he’s helpful

AND he can get away with spending a lot of time at Leah’s house without anyone finding it weird, unlike Jacob, so he starts spending most of his free time there keeping Bella company and brightening her day up

HE is the one who enables her when she comes up with the name Renesmee lmao

(just because she hates Edward doesn’t mean Esme ever did anything wrong!)

“bella I’ll throw you out of this house if you don’t come up with a real name” “leah she’s white you can’t just disrespect her culture like this omg”

anyway these four become the DORKIEST and WEIRDEST little family it’s cute

so then. labor.

it’s less...graphic than in bd because Bella hasn’t been actively dying the whole pregnancy and she doesn’t snap her spine in half, but it’s still. bad.

she essentially delivers a rock that Nessie then begins chewing her way out of. she’s actively bleeding out. Jacob’s having a panic attack. Leah made Seth watch so he would never have unprotected sex and the scare tactic is working. Leah’s covered in Bella’s blood which is not great considering she’s Holding A Rock That A Vampire Is Emerging From

Leah’s been taking classes and researching deliveries so she needs to stitch Bella up and see what else is wrong but Seth is rocking back and forth on the floor crying and Jacob’s screaming and pacing too fast to grab so she’s like. Bella babe I know you’re dying but you need to hold this thing for me ksjdfllksf

so while she’s handling That, Bella’s got this weird little rock in her arms and is watching the baby slowly fight it’s way out like this is a very fucked up egg or something and she’s just. overwhelmed. maybe it’s the blood loss but she’s looking at the messy, scrunchy little face and she’s already in love and envisioning their lives together.

and then, you know, the baby bites her,

she has just enough time to think ‘how did we not think to prepare for that’ before she can feel the venom coursing through her. it’s just as bad as she remembers from James’ bite but somehow...easier to tolerate. she blacks out pretty quickly

the other 3 notice and are like : 👁👄👁

Jacob...literally explodes into a wolf On Spot

Seth darts out the fucking door he’s seen enough for one day

Leah, sole holder of the braincell, realizes Nessie just bit and isn’t drinking from Bella, and deduces this is like...a survival instinct or something. the baby instinctively changes it’s mother first thing. weirdly...touching?

So she gets the baby and checks that everything is physically okay with Bella (apart from you know. changing species) and is like...guess this is an issue for 3 days from now Leah

more immediate pressing issues: screaming new born baby and oh, yeah, the giant red wolf in the basement,

“Jacob I know this is disorienting but if you break anything in my house I’ll fucking kill you”

she really just leaves the poor boy to go get the baby cleaned up and warm up some of the frozen blood they’ve got in her fridge (RUINING HER TUPPERWARE, BELLA)

she’s not worried about the wolf pack mind meld yet because she knows Sam took the guys on a mission way farther up the coast for a few days and they’ll be too far away to hear Jake. hopefully, by the time they get back, Bella will be awake and they’ll have made an escape plan by then

and as she’s bottle feeding blood to the baby she’s thrilled that it seems to be like...relatively normal and not s horrific monster or anything. mission: unwillingly murder my best friend’s baby has been successfully canceled

“Oh Goddamn it....Renesmee DOES fit you...”

Seth, from where he’s cowering behind the couch: “told you”

so, Jake eventually calms down, they spend the next few days cooing over Nessie and brainstorming how to handle Bella when she wakes up a vampire, and also nicknaming Nessie ‘Nessie’ because they know Bella will find that intolerable and they feel she deserves karmic punishment for stressing them out so much lmao

so, three days are up. Seth’s upstairs putting on a way-too-elaborate puppet show for the baby with not a care in the world. Leah and Jake are in the basement because they know Bella probably won’t want their wolf blood and their ready to phase in case she gets a little aggressive

but she just wakes up and is like. hey! how’s it going? where’s my baby?

sjdhfksdj they were expecting feral but Bella still has her super self-control. she didn’t even realize she’d changed into a vampire until they told her lmao

Bella’s a little too freaked out to try hunting yet so they give her some of the stored blood they’ve been feeding Ness and she’s like. good to go. Leah’s about to scream like have the elders been exaggerating this whole time or is Bella truly a freak??? lol

So, they spend a couple days just...relaxing, Bella and Renesmee bonding, they’re trying to come up with fun places Bella can move to with the baby so no one she knows finds out, and every now and then Leah and Jake go out and she tries to help him get the wolf thing under control

and then,,,,the pack get back from their mission early

and immediately are able to read Jacob’s mind

so they head over to Start Shit because there’s two bloodsuckers on their land but,

the pack not attacking because Jake imprinted on Renesmee? tired. the pack not attacking because Jake’s Alpha Genes have taken over and declared Nessie and Bella as part of his Pack and attacking would literally start a war? inspired

so they hash the whole thing out....ultimately Sam decides Bella is more of a victim than a threat, and since neither her or Nessie seem to be going on a bloodlust rampage any time soon...he decides to grant them immunity from the whole ‘kill the vampires’ rule. He’ll let her and her daughter stay in La Push as long as they agree to stick to animals and only hunt out of town. PLUS from what little Bella knows about the Volturi, she’s worried about them finding out about Nessie, so they’ll offer protection if that does happen, in exchange for her being able to help them with intel on any other vampire threats in the area (you know like. if a nomad is fucking stuff up in a nearby city, they’ll send her to talk to them first before deciding if they need to intervene. Sam has become acutely aware he has a lot of teens and kids in his pack, so he’s trying to keep them out of fights as much as possible)

anyway that’s the story of Nessie gaining like 17 chaotic as hell ride or die uncles,

let’s fast forward a bit

it’s like 15 years later. Bella’s not living with Leah anymore, but she’s got a cute apartment in a nearby town, and owns and runs a bookstore on the first floor of it. she got her ged and did college online and teaches night classes at a community college. She’s still in contact with her parents, who Adore the life out of Nessie. She still helps the pack out and they’re all close. Nessie is a handful but in a fun and lovable way. They go on little weekend trips whenever they have time. Bella’s happy.

but then a. Situation. arises.

basically, the Volturi have been made aware of some unknown vampire chasing others out of the pacific northwest and conspiring with shapeshifters. and you know when Aro gets curious he tends to spin things dramatically. who’s to say this vampire isn’t conspiring against all vampires? against them? why has no one’s special talents worked on her? he simply must find out.

Bella and the Pack get word and decide their best course of action for now is to go on the run. they’re not gonna be able to take on a whole army but if they can bide some time and lay low they might be able to figure something out

except Bella is like....I have a teenage hybrid that the Volturi don’t know about yet...it would be EXTREMELY irresponsible to take her with me

but she can’t send Nessie to Charlie or Renee because they don’t know about her...dietary restrictions. She can’t stay with Billy or anyone else in La Push because the Volturi might trace the pack’s scent there and discover her. She’s panicking, they have to leave in a few days max and she can’t find a safe place for her daughter

and then she’s like.....fuck.

she had run into Jasper a couple of years ago- they have the same forgery guy and were heading to his building around the same time as a coincidence. She promised to forgive him for the party incident if he promised not to tell Edward he saw her and that she’s a vampire now. He agreed, but then told her Edward’s been living on his own for a while now and insisted on giving her his number...she never could bring herself to call it or delete it...but now...if she wants to be 100% Nessie is safe and protected...

fuck

So, the past 15 years have been fairly rough for Edward

he’s still convinced leaving in order to save Bella was the best course of action, but like...the vampires canonically mate for life. that’s his soulmate. he’s absolutely miserable without her. he’s thought about cracking and going to find her again but he always talks himself out of it, convinced she’d just tell him she hates him or something

so as stated in his patented Edward Cullen Self Loathing Guide, first thing to do is isolate yourself from all the lovebirds you usually live with. Sure, he keeps in contact, but...not well. he’s currently living alone and posing as a university student. He’s not even really sure what he’s supposed to be majoring in. He’s mostly been in a haze since he left Forks.

and one day....he gets a call from an unknown number. he ignores it, thinking it’s a spam call. but then it calls like 8 more times in a row and he figures answering might be a bit smarter than simply throwing it at the wall

And Edward...swears he came back to life and immediately had a heart attack the second he hears Bella’s voice

He feels breathless and disoriented the whole conversation, trying to figure out if his memory did her voice any justice, trying to rush out 15 years worth of apologies, trying to comprehend she’s actually speaking to him.

But Bella’s very blunt on the phone. She doesn’t want to let herself get emotional. She’s on a time limit, and she has to focus on getting her daughter to safety

And Edward swears he somehow misheard her the first ten or so times she told him. He had a daughter? that wasn’t possible

“she has the audacity to be your Evil Twin so I’m pretty sure it’s possible”

so she gives him a rundown. she needs to go into hiding, no I don’t need your help with that, gives him details about Nessie, what she’s like, what she likes to do, her diet, her favorite color, how annoyed she is by this whole situation, “Edward I know you don’t love me anymore, but I remember how protective you were, and that’s what I need Nessie to have right now. She needs you right now” and Edward wants so badly to refute Bella’s claim of lost love, to tell her he has absolutely no idea how to be a parent, but...her tone is aching so much he can barely speak. He can’t let Bella down again, and he can’t let this little girl he foolishly created and left down anymore than he already has, either.

So he agrees, she tells him to be at the airport in a few days, and hangs up.

Edward loses about half a day staring at a wall in shock, before he jumps into preparations.

Bella told him while their daughter possessed some speed and strength, hunting was fairly dangerous for her. She was more delicate than his kind, and had a heartbeat. Reheated blood bags had been their best option, and she also needed human food as well. He also had to get a room ready for her- he wandered around stores for hours, reading young girls minds to see if there was any furniture or decorations that were universally liked- which was of course, fruitless, but he did manage to find a handful of things he was sure Bella would have liked at that age, and prayed for the best. He somehow got himself covered in purple paint that was a nightmare to get off. Bella had sent him some forged documents claiming Nessie was his younger sister he’d won custody of, and he got her enrolled in a nearby school. He lived every day leading up to her arrival staving off a panic attack.

it wasn’t until he was on the way to the airport that he realized he forgot to inform his family about this life update. they must’ve been on a hunting trip, because he got nothing but voicemails

imagine being Carlisle and you come home to a voicemail from your son who’s banished himself from the family that’s just like ‘hi. you’re a grandfather now. I’m having a nervous breakdown and might crash my car. call me back at your earliest convenience I suppose” like what would you DO

after he gets to the airport he starts panicking again, realizing Bella had never actually sent him a picture, worrying about how he’d find her, but then- he sees a tiny girl with untamed, dark red curls, features strikingly similar to his own that are pulled into the expression Bella always made when she was reading, absently chewing on her lip, and before she looks at him with her mother’s big brown eyes, he already knows who he’s looking at, and he’s certain if he was human his tear ducts would be having a fit right now

Renesmee, however, seems less willing to have an emotional meeting. She mumbles out a simple greeting before gathering up her bags and heading for the door, Edward rushing behind her to try and help

listen. the awkwardness of Charlie trying to connect with Bella. but 10000x worse because of Edward’s overthinking, self-deprecating ass and Nessie being like ‘ah yes the guy who broke my pregnant teenage mothers heart, fantastic’ lmao

the car ride is p a i n f u l. Edward’s trying so hard for light conversation and Nessie’s barely giving one word answers. Bella had warned her about the mind reading so she was carefully keeping her mind blocked, which Edward is trying very hard to be understanding about instead of annoyed, but By God does he want to know everything about her

when they get back to his place, she quietly thanks him for the room and then promptly locks him out of it lol. He spends the rest of the day just pacing back and forth until he realizes he should eventually feed her lmao

and that’s...kinda how the first couple weeks go. she only emerges from her room if he bribes her with food, she awkwardly tries to dodge his questions, he drives her to school and then begs her to tell him how it went when he picks her up, he spends his college classes distracted because he’s freaking out constantly about how to successfully bond with her. His favorite time of day now is night, because she can’t block her mind while she’s asleep, and even if her dreams are all nonsense they’re still...part of her that he gets to know.

His family keeps begging him to let them meet her, but he’s pushing back because if she’s this bad at adjusting to one new family member, how is she going to handle six more?

(meanwhile Alice and Rose started a group chat with her and are having a ball clowning Edward lmao)

wait ksjflksd I think this vine perfectly sums up the dynamic im envisioning https://youtu.be/wQZIUHNORHg

anyway they....very slowly make some progress. much too slowly for Edward’s taste, but hey.

Like he finds out snacks she likes. or jewelry she likes. stuff like that and just...wordlessly leaves it around for her lmao. he thinks it’s like trying not to startle a deer, Nessie thinks it’s more like a cat trying to gift you a dead mouse, but either way it’s weirdly endearing.

He notices she always has a huffy little frown when he picks her up on Wednesdays. So instead of begging her for an ounce of information of her school life, he asks her one Wednesday morning if she’s excited for the day and she admits she has an elective class every Wednesday with a girl she doesn’t get along with.

He gets her school photos (and Weeps) and realizes apart from her room the home is fairly barren of decorations, so he buys a bunch of picture frames and hangs up the school shots, and some pictures of the Cullen’s over the years, and the few he has of Bella that he could never bear to part with. Other than catching her smiling at the prom picture of her parents, Nessie doesn’t say anything- but the next time he comes home from hunting, there’s a pile of pictures of her growing up on the table, and he starts weeping all over again as he hangs them up

(there’s one of her and Bella hugging and looking at the camera with identical grins and joy in their eyes, he can’t help but put that in his room. He hopes one day he’ll get to see a scene like that in person)

He starts trying to get her out of her room a little more- he still hasn’t managed to a get a ‘favorites’ list out of her, so he starts playing movies Bella loved, to see if any of them lure her out. some do, some don’t- he got halfway through a Lord of the Rings marathon, which was Torture in his opinion, but then Ness came out and quietly asked if he could restart it and suddenly they became his favorite movies ever.

Bella’s not able to contact her on a set schedule or anything because of her situation (and you can bet your ass Edward’s contacted every vampire he knows and ordered them to help her out if they come across her or the Volturi), and Edward realizes that’s probably taking a toll on the girl, so he starts telling her stories of her mother when he knew her in Forks. She’s particularly amused by the blood typing incident- the first time Edward hears Nessie properly laugh, he literally starts crying on the spot

could you imagine the sheer panic if she ever gets so much as a cold

And yes, she’s still pissed on Bella’s behalf, and yes, she specifically blasts 70s music because Bella told her he hates it one time, and yes, if he looks at her like he’s a kicked puppy one more time she might claw his eyes out, and yes, she refuses to introduce him to her friends from school because she Knows everyone will then start asking her about her ‘hot brother’ and she can’t live with that and also can’t live with him knowing that so she told him if he ever introduces himself to any of her friends she’ll set him on fire, and yes, she’s homesick 95% of the time but...he’s growing on her. like a mold, or something.

(okay, maybe when Seth tried to analyze why Mamma Mia is her favorite musical, he might have had a point. half a point. quarter of a point. shut up.)

And Edward’s still trying to not have a panic attack every time she’s out of his sight- he’s got Carlisle keeping tabs on the Volturi for him, and it’s not exactly hard for him to keep track of her through other people’s minds- but she’s so tiny and her heartbeat is Too Fast and what if she inherited her mother’s unlucky streak??

but they’re toeing the line of co-existing peacefully and Edward’s scared to push it past that

then he has to, because it turns out he sent her to one of Those Schools where the parents have to be involved in the school in some way or another and Nessie’s Annoyed

sdkjfsdkjf she keeps trying to get him to just sign up for like pta meetings or something and he’s like ‘I need you to understand you are the only person in this town I actually know or like I Cannot survive around fundraiser moms I can’t’

so she’s like ugh fine I’m in the drama club

listen.....Stage Parent Edward Cullen.......the power this holds...

that’s right this whole post was an elaborate ruse for me to make a musical theater headcanon again lmao

no okay but seriously he starts off just helping build sets and stuff like that but then midway through the year their music teacher gets fired and the schools like begging him to take over because they can’t find someone in enough time that’ll know the music for the show they’re doing and he’s like “I need you to understand Nessie will never talk to me again if I start actually working at her school” and they’re like “She also will never talk to you again if we have to cancel the big musical, though” and he’s like. fuck.

silent treatment for a week and a half

lmao so now he’s trying to juggle being an overly-enthusiastic stage parent who’s making costumes and sets and kinda crying backstage when he sees his daughter in her costume with also being the music director for the damn show and trying to teach a bunch of kids how to read sheet music

one day he ended up in a coffee shop with the hair and makeup moms, gossiping about the cast’s love lives, and he literally doesn’t know how he got there

is it wrong to pass Nessie in class even though she’s putting all the wrong answers on the test but he Knows she knows the right answers and is only answering wrong to try and get a rise out of him

Bella sneaks into town to see the show- they thought it would push their luck if the pack came, but they sent an ungodly amount of flowers and candy. When she snuck into the house while Ness was sleeping she Was Not expecting to find Edward up to his elbows in sequins, trying to fix a bedazzler he accidentally broke in frustration, muttering under his breath about how if Nessie’s romantic opposite in the show doesn’t keep his thoughts clean he’s gonna kill him- and it just cracks her up. She WAS nervous about seeing Edward again but now she’s assured he’s still a dork lol

So Edward freaks when he sees her but they don’t wanna wake Ness up so they’re trying to be quiet but like. they’re going through it

Like Bella Wants to be pissed at him but she can’t, she still loves him- and while she can’t just get over what he did to her, it’s also not lost on her that ‘leaving to protect someone I love’ is literally what she had to do to her daughter

And Edward....Edward, who only left to give Bella a chance at a safe, human life, seeing Bella in front of him as a vampire, knowing it’s his fault she ended up that way and she had to go through it alone, had to raise a baby herself because he’d made it so hard to find him...knowing if he’d just pulled his head out of his ass he would have been able to be there for her...would be able to form a coherent sentence around his love right now, would have long and fond memories of Nessie’s childhood, likely wouldn’t have to watch Bella hide from the Volturi...he’s back in a self-loathing spiral already

But they haven’t seen each other in so long and they just don’t want to...deal with the unpleasantness right now, so they just push it aside. Bella helps Edward with the costumes. Edward fills her in on what she’s been missing with Nessie. Bella tells him some stuff about when Ness was younger. They just spend the night talking, and it feels like no time has past between them at all- which just makes the heartaches a little stronger

When Nessie wakes up to her mother there she’s ecstatic- bubbly and loud and glued to Bella’s hip all day, giving her in depth play-by-plays of her school and rehearsals and friends she’s made, bouncing on her toes all morning, hyper, giggly, and- it kind of breaks Edward’s heart a little, even though he knows he hasn’t really...earned this side of his daughter, yet.

(at least he got his wish of seeing their twin smiles in person)

(he wishes he could see them every second of every day)

so the girls spend the day catching up while Edward mostly feels like a thirdwheel, and then they have to get Ness over to the school so she can get ready

Bella decides to hang out around the school theater before the show actually starts- she leans against the wall next to the piano, the two talking in hushed tones while Edward runs through songs. Bella really missed watching him play- the only thing that managed to drag her away from it was when Nessie called her to the dressing room to help with a hair emergency

she didn’t talk to him much at intermission, her attention being stolen by the rest of the Cullen family (who had been Very Loudly supporting the show so far, she knew Ness was probably dying of embarrassment backstage)

after the show, the three went back to Edward’s and just...talked. Nessie was gushing about the show and eating while her parents assured her she was the greatest actress ever born, simple stuff like that. she fell asleep sandwiched in between them on the couch

Bella realizes she’s never going to be able to bring herself to leave again if Nessie wakes up, and tells Edward as much. He clearly doesn’t want her to go just yet either, but...she’s on the run, it’s not like she has much choice

He has so much he wants to say to her but he just- can’t. it’s not the right time. but he’s hoping she can see that in his eyes

Bella shifts Nessie off her shoulder so Edward can hold her, and she gives him a light kiss and says ‘thank you, Edward’ before disappearing in a flash. she needed to go before she lost her nerve.

Edward can’t bring himself to let Nessie out of his arms, so instead of carrying her to bed he just stays there, holding her, trying his best not to think that that could be the last time for a long time he’d ever see his Bella again, trying not to let thoughts of a life he gave up unwittingly consume him

okay I didn’t mean for this to be So Long so I’m cutting it here uhh...let me know if anyone wants a part 2? sorry lmao

#twilight #edward cullen #bella swan #edbella #twilight saga #asks #molly mumbles #elephantlovingmouse

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talatomaz · 4 years ago

Text

lockdown | jj x fem!teen!reader

a/n: i can’t believe that a year ago today, the last ever episode of criminal minds aired. i miss jj so much 🤧

this is sort of in line with my own experiences (to a certain extent). and there’s not as much jj x d!r as i’d intended but I hope you still like it.

(feedback/positive comments are appreciated)

requested by @ouat2017 : “could you do a jj x daughter where the daughter’s school is on lockdown and jj is worried or something like that?”

warnings: gun violence. blood

word count: 2.6k

masterlist | request list | request rules

r is jj’s 18 year old adopted daughter and suddenly finds herself on lockdown after someone brings a gun into her school

i do not give you permission to repost or translate my fics on any platform - likes/reblogs are okay and are much appreciated

“Look, you’re the one that needs to be tutored so can you please focus?”

You huffed, crossing your arms over your chest in annoyance.

You were currently in the tutoring centre trying to help a self-absorbed jock pass English so he could remain on the school’s football team.

Looking around you, you saw a handful of students giving both you and Cameron - the man-child you were tutoring - disparaging looks.

“You’re not supposed to be yelling at me. You’re meant to be telling me the answers.”

The aforementioned narcissist leaned against his chair, smirking at you in a way that made you fight to hide a shudder.

You could have easily wiped the grin off his face by mentioning who your mother was and who she worked for but instead, you decided to just continue ignoring his advances and carry on teaching him.

“That’s not how this works, Cameron. Now either you listen to me or you fail and get kicked off the team. And quite frankly, I’d rather the latter happen.”

You watched as his brows furrowed in confusion. Sighing, you answered, “latter means the second thing of two things mentioned in a sentence. Now, for the love of God, just finish writing your paragraph on Heller's satire of capitalism in Catch-22.”

You let out a breath of relief when he finally relented and started to scribble on his sheet of paper. You glanced over at one of your friends, who was also tutoring for extra credit, and smiled when she rolled her eyes at Cameron’s actions.

Leaning against the large desk that stood at the front of the room, you relished in the long-awaited silence aside from hushed whispers that came from other students asking for help.

Taking out your phone, you glanced at the screen to see that it was only midday and soon the lunch bell would be ringing.

You smiled softly at your lock screen.

It was a photo of you and JJ, your adoptive mother.

It was taken a few weeks prior at your 18th birthday party. You’d been living with JJ for almost 5 years now; her having fostered you before later adopting you when you were 14.

You still didn’t know what she saw in you on that day you’d first met her - you’d lost your family in a home invasion, barely surviving yourself - but whatever it was, you were grateful because you’d gotten a second chance at life.

Several minutes passed and you’d only broken from your train of thought when you heard someone clearing their throat beside you.

Looking over your shoulder, you saw your friend, the one who’d rolled her eyes earlier at Cameron, standing beside you.

“I see you finally got him to do his work.” She whispered, loud enough for your ears only.

“Barely. He still has an essay to write and hasn’t even finished a paragraph yet.”

“I would have smacked his sorry ass by now.”

You laughed before clamping your hand over your mouth, her comment having caught you off guard.

“Ally!” You whisper-shouted, playfully hitting her arm.

She looked at you with a raised eyebrow causing you to smirk, “Trust me, I’ve thought about it but-”

Before you could finish your sentence, a large bang rang out, shattering the silence the room had once held.

With wide eyes, your head whipped to the door where the gunshot had presumably come from and you listened as the hallways were filled with panicked screams.

Running to the door, ignoring the gasps and shouts from the other students behind you, you turned the lock on the door, pulled down the blinds, switched off the lights and jammed a chair under the handle.

Looking up, you saw everyone had the same look of panic in their eyes; a few were crying, including Ally, and others were pale with shock, Cameron was one of them.

“Guys, we’re gonna be okay but we have to be quiet.” You whispered harshly, constantly looking over your shoulder at the door, listening for any indication of the shooter coming your way.

Everyone stared at you, as if you were the leader of a camp and they were small children awaiting for further instruction.

You supposed it wasn’t far off.

By taking charge, you were the one who’d been unwillingly given the role of protector.

“First things first,” you walked over to the group of 10 students, “I need you all to make sure your phones are on silent. We can’t risk being caught.”

You watched as everyone followed your instructions.

“I know you all want to call your parents but that’s going to attract attention to us so for right now, we need to be quiet.”

Your heart was beating out of your chest and as you spoke, one thought repeated in your head. JJ.

Taking out your phone, you scrolled to find your mother’s name in your contacts. You watched as your thumb hovered over her name.

Just breathe, y/n. Breathe.

Tapping your mother’s name, you brought the phone to your ear.

“I thought you said we couldn’t call anyone.”

Your eyes locked onto Cameron’s, his face pale and his eyes filled with terror and a hint of anger.

“My Mum works for the FBI.” You whispered as the phone rang out.

Any other time and you probably would have laughed at the way his face grew paler, if that was even possible. But, in a situation this tense, it was going to be difficult to find any levity.

Your Mum picked up on the second ring and you let out a shaky breath when you heard her voice.

“Hi baby. A bit early for your lunch, isn’t it?”

You closed your eyes at her soft tone, as if you were trying to engrave the way she spoke into your mind lest you would never hear it again.

From your lack of response, the blonde sensed there was something up, “Y/N? What’s wrong?”

A single tear dropped down your cheek as you struggled to maintain a steady tone. Catching a glimpse of Ally staring at you, you steeled yourself and spoke.

“Mum, you need to come quick. Someone’s brought a gun into school.”

“Oh my-AARON.”

You winced when you heard her shout for her boss, listening as you could hear her run up stairs. You held your breath as she filled Hotch in on what was happening before telling Garcia to hack into your school’s security system.

“Are you okay? Stupid question. But are you hurt?”

“Mum,” you interrupted her rambling, “I’m fine. I’m in the tutoring centre with 10 other people. I don’t know how many people are injured. It just all happened so fast.”

“It’s okay, baby. You’re gonna be okay.”

Though you could hear the clear panic in her voice, her words did bring some form of reassurance to you.

“Penelope’s hacking into the system so hopefully she can have eyes soon.”

As she spoke, you could hear the clacking of keys in the background of the call; presumably Garcia doing exactly what JJ said.

“Mum?” You questioned when you heard Garcia swear.

Instead of JJ answering, the usually peppy tech analyst replied, her voice shaky and wet, as if she was crying.

“Y/N, thank God you’re okay.”

“What’s wrong, Garcia?”

“Someone’s disabled the cameras remotely. I can only get them back online if someone reprograms them from the inside.”

Grasping what she was explaining, you nodded, “I’ll fix them.”

“What? No!”

Your mother had taken the phone off of Garcia.

“You are not leaving that room, y/n. We’ll find another way in.”

“Mum, someone needs to fix the system from inside the school. I need to do it.”

Ignoring your mother’s worried shouts, you continued to speak, “Mum, I have to. I love you.”

You disconnected the phone and switched it off, preventing her from being able to call you back.

“Y/N, you are not leaving this room.”

You’d only just realised that everyone had been watching you intently during that entire interaction.

“Yes, I am.”

Moving away from the huddle, you rose to your feet and replied to your friend.

Cameron rose to his feet and towered over you as he challenged you, “No, you are not. You’re going to put us in danger.”

“Do you know how to hack into our school’s security system and then reconnect the transformer and enter the Mastercode?”

His face contorted to a look of confusion making you reply,

“Exactly.”

Turning to leave, you felt a large hand enclose around your arm.

“I said, you’re not leaving.”

Your eyes flickered from Cameron’s hand up to his face that dared you to take another step.

“Remove your hand from my arm before I remove your hand from your body. You may letter in football but I’ve been trained by some of the best FBI agents there are and unless you want to end up in a sleeper hold, I suggest you shut up and do what I say for once.”

His harsh grip almost immediately lessened as his hand returned to his side.

“Good. Now, have any of you been shot? No? I didn’t think so. Well, I have and whoever did get shot is probably bleeding out in the hallway. I can’t not do anything.”

No one dared to respond and instead, shook their head ‘no’ at your asking if anyone else would try to stop you.

Content that you weren’t going to deal with any more unnecessary distractions, you made your way to the door and gently removed the chair that was beneath the handle.

“Ally, you’re in charge. Lock the door when I leave. By my count, the FBI will be here soon. And Cameron, you do anything stupid and I’ll shoot you myself.”

Unlocking the door, you stepped out into the empty hallway and hastily made your way to where the main security hub was located.

Just a couple of hours ago, all you had wished for was silence but now that your wish had been granted, all you wanted was to hear the playful shouts and conversations between your friends and fellow students.

The silence that currently fell on your school was unnerving and unbearable. And with each step you took, you flinched at the sound your shoes made against the marble floor. Each noise practically acting as a beacon for the shooter to come find you.

You let out a sigh of relief when you found the Hub and you quickly worked to reconnect the security system. Typing on the laptop that rested atop one of the servers, you couldn’t help the smile that formed when all the cameras re-engaged.

Tapping on one of the keys, you navigated through the various cameras, looking for any indication of the shooter or of any injured people. You stopped when you caught a glimpse of someone.

Squinting at the screen, you saw, what appeared to be a freshman - since you didn’t recognise him as being a part of your year - laying on the ground, a hand clutching his stomach as blood coated his clothing.

Immediately knowing where he was, you cautiously made your way to the east hallway before running when you noticed him laying on the ground, his blood coating the once-white marble floor.

Falling to your knees, you pressed your hands against his wound, trying to stop the steady flow. He groaned out in pain, tears staining his face.

“H-Help me.” He choked out.

“What’s your name?”

“Jackson. But everyone c-calls me J-Jack.”

“Jack, you’re going to be okay. I just need you stay with me, okay? I’m-”

“Y/N.”

You failed to hide the surprise from your face making the younger teen smile despite his predicament.

“You’re t-tutoring Cameron. Everyone knows who you are. Y-You’re the one who doesn’t take any of his shit. I think h-he likes you.”

“Well, tough shit for him. I may be bi but he’s definitely not my type.”

Jack’s laugh quickly turned into another groan of pain.

Unzipping your jacket with one hand, you used the other to keep pressure on his wound. After removing the jacket, you harshly pressed it against his torso and watched as it barely absorbed the blood.

“I’m gonna die, aren’t I?”

“No, you’re not. I won’t let you.” You said, tears filling in your eyes as memories rushed back of when you tried to save your brother after he’d been shot.

“You’re going to be okay. I just need you to-”

You stilled when you heard footsteps come up behind you.

“Well, what do we have here?”

You didn’t recognise the voice and couldn’t bring yourself to turn around to face the person who’d caused all this pain.

You opened your mouth before closing it again, unsure of what to say.

Closing your eyes, you readied yourself for your inevitable death when a shot rang out and a body slumped to the ground beside you.

Jumping at the action, you turned around and almost collapsed in relief at what you saw. Your Mum and her team stood behind you with several SWAT members flanking them.

The tears that had once filled your eyes now spilled shamelessly down your cheeks.

Without saying a word, JJ holstered her gun and ran to your side, hugging you as best she could since your hands were still pressed against Jack’s wound.

Paramedics soon followed and after that it was all a blur. It was as if you were floating outside of your body. Logically, you knew it was the effects of an adrenaline crash but you felt so disconnected from your body.

You barely took note as your mother gently lifted you to your feet, allowing you to be briefly looked over by the paramedics. Nor as your mother escorted you to one of the school bathrooms where she rinsed the blood off your hands.

You didn’t even say a word until you’d arrived back at the BAU where a worried Penelope wrapped you in a tight hug which you returned.

“I’m gonna take her up to my old office, Hotch.”

The Unit Chief simply nodded as he and the rest of the team watched as JJ led you to the abandoned office that was still filled with random case files.

Closing the door, she sat you down on her sofa and stared at you, not touching you in fear that even a simple caress would cause you to shatter.

You exhaled a long breath before finally speaking, “I’m sorry.”

Her brows narrowed, “Sorry? Sweetheart, why?”

You looked at your hands that had been coated in blood less than an hour before and then up at your mother; her blue eyes filled with nothing but concern, love and confusion.

“You told me not to leave and I did. I’m sorry.”

And with that, you started to cry heart-wrenching sobs that made your shoulders shake.

JJ gathered you in her arms, gently rocking you as her long blonde hair draped over you.

“It’s okay, y/n. I got you, baby. You’re safe now.”

Her arms wrapped tightly around you as she laid soft kisses on your head, her hand stroking your back.

That only served to make you burrow into her even more, seeking comfort in her motherly embrace.

You muttered your apologies as she continued to reassure you that you were okay.

JJ was afraid that if she stopped, you wouldn’t be here, safe in her arms.

Still rocking you in her arms, she whispered in your ear,

“I got you, baby. You’re safe now.”

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beewolfwrites · 3 years ago

Text

An Iron Box - The Answer

@cheshiya @tenseoyong @szallejhscorner @something-more-original-please @ofsunsetsandpoetries @nek0dzuken @allozaur @hiqhkey @serenzippity

That rooftop scene is growing closer, and so is my excitement :D

I’ve noticed a few new readers, and I just wanted to add a heads up that you can find the Tumblr post links and the AO3 links to each of the three fics at the top of my Tumblr, if that helps at all!

Here’s the AO3 link to this chapter too.

I hope you like it! <3

-------------------------------------------------------

‘Chishiya, I’d hate to be your enemy.’

When Arisu had spoken those words right as he punched in the code, he’d already made his fatal mistake.

You are all my enemies, in a way.

I stood back, watching as Arisu’s bloodied and unconscious body was slung over a militant’s shoulder and carried out of the royal suite. Usagi went next, kicking and screaming her boyfriend’s name. Just as she was dragged out the door, her eyes locked on me, and I could see the sheer betrayal there, the hatred burning and seething under her skin.

I simply smiled.

It wasn’t personal. It’s just how this world works.

Sometimes you have to sacrifice a pawn to reach the king.

The rest of us meandered out into the hall where the two traitors were being hauled towards their fate. I felt a hand clamp firmly on my shoulder, and fought the urge to move away when I saw Aguni standing beside me.

‘You did good, Chishiya. I never did trust those two.’

You should rethink where you put your trust.

‘Don’t mention it,’ I said. ‘It’s the least I could do.’

There was a furious cry down the hall as Usagi bit someone’s hand, followed by a slap, and then silence. I already had an inkling about what would happen to the two of them. Knowing Niragi, he would have some fun with Usagi before disposing of her. Perhaps I should’ve felt guilty. Some people certainly would. But there was a small, satisfied part of me that was glad it was her instead of...

‘That reminds me,’ Aguni said. ‘How did you know about them?’

‘Ah… that.’ I took the walkie talkie out of my pocket and flashed it to him. ‘They tried to get me to join them. I went along with it to find out the details, and you know the rest.’

Aguni’s brows furrowed at the sight of the device, but he didn’t ask to inspect or keep it. That’s when I knew I had him wrapped around my finger.

‘I understand. If you see any other suspicious behaviour, let me know.’

‘Of course.’

I nodded politely as he disappeared down the hall and submerged himself in his room.

Now that those two were taken care of, the militants would be distracted for a little while. That left us a generous amount of time until dark, although the real plan wouldn’t take long to execute, especially now I knew where the actual safe was.

Aguni may have been observant, but not nearly as observant as I was. Knowing that he had come so close to having the cards snatched from right under his nose, it would’ve unsettled anyone. And in such an unstable situation, it was only human nature to seek stability by making sure that your precious items are untouched.

I guess I was wrong about the blank sheet.

There was a room on the top floor that I knew wasn’t currently being used. In such close proximity to the royal suite, it was the perfect hideout where I could talk into the walkie talkie without worrying about eavesdroppers.

Slipping inside, I pulled it from my pocket once again to tune it to a radio frequency I had told Kuina about earlier. Knowing her, she would have tuned (name’s) to the same one right after Arisu’s capture.

I lifted the walkie talkie to my mouth. ‘Kuina?’

There was a drawn out moment of static, then Kuina’s voice crackled through. ‘I’m here. (Name) still needs a minute though.’

I figured as much. Once she realised what was happening, it was inevitable that she would react badly. Having Kuina there to keep her away from Arisu and Usagi had been for the best. And now she knew that I had unwillingly involved her in a plan like this, her opinion of me had probably sunk lower than before.

Is this also for the best?

I sat down on the unused bed, deciding that yes, it was. She would only be a distraction. If it came down to it, I needed to survive. And once we left the Beach, if she despised me so much that she chose to go down a separate path, it couldn’t be better.

But still…

‘Chishiya.’ Kuina’s voice interrupted the quiet. ‘I hope you feel guilty for this. I seriously hope a small part of you realises how screwed up this was.’

I smiled at her lack of understanding. I realised perfectly well, but for the sake of surviving in a world like this, you couldn’t allow yourself to slip to the bottom of the food chain.

‘You’ve changed your tune,’ I replied. ‘Are you backing out all of a sudden?’

‘Of course not. I can’t afford to, and neither can (name).’ She paused, then tentatively asked, ‘Did you know? About her… and you, you know.’

‘I have no idea what you’re talking about.’

‘Did you know she had feel—’ Kuina’s voice stopped, then she hushed, ‘She’s coming out now. We’ll be upstairs soon.’

The communication cut off, and all I could do was wait until they were in position. Wait, and mull over Kuina’s unfinished question. Obviously, they had been talking about me, but I almost didn’t want to know what they had said.

I waited fifteen minutes, and there was still no sign from either of them. If they carried on at this speed, we would run out of time. Growing restless, I held up the walkie talkie.

‘You two, how are things on your side?’

There was no response, but they would have to reply eventually. What I didn’t expect was her voice to come through.

‘You’re all good to go from where I’m standing.’ Her voice was still dripping with unspoken anger and betrayal, and it was surprising she was even willing to talk to me.

So you’re not as childish as you act. Who would’ve thought.

‘Aguni’s still in his room,’ Kuina followed up with a sigh. ‘We’re getting bored now.’

‘Then should we get going with the plan?’ I suggested. The reply I got was scathing.

‘We’ve already gotten going. It’s you who needs to hurry up.’

That attitude, it was almost laughable. How commanding (name) had become in an instant, as if she weren’t tagging along on someone else’s plan.

‘Patience,’ I reminded her, and turning down the volume on the walkie talkie, I cracked open the door.

In the hall, there wasn’t a soul in sight. It couldn’t have been more perfect. The royal suite was unguarded, and I easily slipped by unnoticed. Inside, the room was bathed in darkness, and it became apparent Aguni hadn’t yet bothered to move his belongings in. There were still traces of the incident earlier. The carpet by the open wardrobe was spotted with blood. Arisu’s blood.

I turned the volume on the walkie talkie back up. ‘I don’t know if Arisu is stupid or intelligent. Hatter was paranoid. He wouldn’t have hidden the cards in a normal safe.’

‘Where’s the real one then?’ Kuina asked.

I turned to the deer painting on the wall. It didn’t particularly stand out as anything special, just a deer’s face and antlers against a blue toned background. And yet earlier that day, despite all the commotion and Arisu’s screams of pain, it had captured Aguni’s focus.

‘When Arisu was caught,’ I said, slowly approaching the painting, ‘Aguni wasn’t paying attention. He was looking towards a certain picture on the wall. It turns out the paper wasn’t empty after all. It contained a drawing instead.’

Briefly placing the walkie talkie on a side table, I lifted the painting from the wall, uncovering the hidden treasure that I had been hoping for. The plaster had been carved up, forming a hole large enough to jam a small safe inside. And sure enough, there it was. A hotel safe, much like the one Arisu had tried, was embedded deep into the wall.

Her voice, sounded through the static. ‘So, you had no idea where it was until then?’

I picked up the walkie talkie again. ‘Exactly. What happened to Arisu was necessary if we were going to find the real safe. Speaking of which, I’ve found it.’

Now it was the moment of truth. The final test to see if my code was correct. I punched the numbers in one by one. 8022. Each one held its own magnitude, and I half-expected an alarm to ring out.

Except it didn’t. The safe display read ‘OPEN’.

‘You used him just for that?’ was Kuina’s tired response.

Really, after all this time, did she not realise that this was the price one had to pay? This world had a certain dynamic. In order to survive, you couldn’t allow yourself to get caught up in guilt or shame.

‘In order to gain something, you have to lose something,’ I said. ‘He’s just a sacrifice. Things like this happen a lot, don’t they?’

'No, they don’t. Not at all. I really don’t want to be your enemy.’

I smiled, remembering the betrayal in Arisu’s expression. ‘I get that a lot.’

----------------------------------------------------------------

The deck was like a weight, swinging in my pocket. A surefire sense of power and danger, all hidden within a stack of cards. There was no way of knowing whether collecting them granted any passage back to the old world. But there was also nothing to prove that they didn’t.

Either way, I’m certain something will happen once the deck is completed.

These cards couldn’t be for nothing.

After replacing the painting, I told Kuina and (name) to meet me near the patio exit at the east of the hotel. I could’ve caught up with them on my way down from the top floor, but I wanted to make a small diversion.

I’d never felt any attachment to my room, and even now as I took one last look, there was nothing in particular keeping me here.

Well, maybe just one thing.

Pulling open the second drawer down on the desk, I felt around at the back for the tiny box. It was only small, and the ring inside even smaller. It sat open in the palm of my hand, the silver fashioned into a small sun with a glistening green centre.

Somehow, its weight was even heavier than the cards.

Is there any point?

I could’ve easily slipped it into my pocket, but it was practically useless. Even if I gave it to her, she would instantly reject it.

I placed the box back in the draw. It would stay a secret for the next person moving into this room. As I shut the drawer, I suddenly remembered another, darker secret hidden inside the one below. I opened it up, seeing the little souvenir I’d taken from my first game.

The pistol glistened inside, metallic and dangerous. Now that would certainly keep Niragi at bay. But again, was it worth it? It didn’t hold many bullets, and it wouldn’t stand a chance against a rifle. Once we were out of here, I could probably find something a little bigger, perhaps in Tokyo’s empty Yakuza hotspots.

I left it there along with the ring. Even walking away felt like tugging at a string that kept pulling me back towards that tiny box. I would have to rip that string apart.

Making my way down through the hotel, I strolled outside, dipping into the smaller paths where the patio was peaceful. The only sounds were the faded music drowned out by wind, and the soft trill of crickets. Two silhouettes came into view, one basking in the glow beneath a lamppost, the other hidden against the wall in its shadow.

‘I guess we won’t be needing these anymore.’ I pulled off the wristband I had gotten so used to wearing. Just as I reached the brick archway at the edge of the grounds, Kuina spoke.

‘Don’t you feel sorry?’

I paused. ‘Sorry?’

‘About what happened to Arisu,’ (name) said. ‘I feel really sorry for him. We both do.’

Kuina hummed in agreement. ‘Don’t you?’

I turned, glancing from Kuina’s frown to the figure behind her. No matter how hard she tried to hide in her friend’s shadow, I could always find her, especially when her eyes looked so full of anger and hurt. Standing there, both bracing themselves against the cold, the two of them echoed off one another in perfect harmony.

‘I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each.’

I knew what line came next. She didn’t have to sing, so long as she was still breathing. Perhaps I could make her understand.

‘Is there anything we wouldn’t do in order to survive?’

Clearly, there was. Their eyes widened, as if the truth of this world hadn’t fully hit them yet. As if all my efforts had been for nothing in their eyes.

Fine. Very well.

I smiled, no longer caring to hide the bitterness. ‘If you both feel so worried, then maybe you should go and help him.’

And of course, neither of them budged. They knew they couldn’t. They were both so happy to come with me if it meant escaping the Beach, yet they still felt the right to criticise my methods. I turned back towards the arch and took the first step forward into freedom, only to hear that tiny, oh-so-familiar sound.

A buzzing.

‘It can’t be,’ I muttered.

This was always a possibility. But why here? Why now? Why, when I was so close to winning? Any other time, and I wouldn’t have minded. This, however, was simply annoying.

I was so deep in thought, I barely registered the footsteps behind me… the familiar form sliding past me… walking closer towards the arch.

‘Stop.’

My hand moved on its own, grabbing her wrist and tugging her back just in time. For one small second I felt the heat of her skin, right before it was yanked out of my grip.

‘What do you think you’re doing?’ She touched her wrist as if it had been burned, unaware that it had been the other way around.

I couldn’t answer. The cold had settled back in, the emptiness. It only confirmed that nagging suspicion I already knew. The reason I couldn’t rip the string apart. She was the answer.

Kuina appeared at my side, waiting for an explanation. Her presence reminded me that there was something far, far more pressing at stake. Suddenly remembering the wristband I was holding, I tossed it into the arch.

A glowing red laser shot through the centre and it clattered to the ground.

The timing was almost ironic, too perfect to be true. Almost like the gamemasters had been watching us all along, just as they had with that little stunt they pulled in the Eight of Hearts. As frustrating as this was, I had to admire their creativity.

I sighed, turning around to see a wall of lasers appear along the parameters of the hotel.

Touche.

#alice in borderland #aib #chishiya #chishiya shuntaro #Chishiya x reader #chishiya x oc #Imawa no Kuni no Arisu #chishiya alice in Borderland

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sunflowerhae · 4 years ago

Text

Lifeboat

N.J (2k)

A/N• this is purely indulgent. It also has quite heavy themes, but at this point are any of us surprised. I want to make something clear, the reader doesn’t do what she does bc of what happens with her and Jaemin (I’m trying not to spoil). I mean, that’s just a tip of the iceberg type situation. That being said, if you are having similar thoughts as our dear reader, please call your countries suicide hotline, and/or talk to someone you trust in your life. ALSO, I am not trying to romanticize any of the topics I wrote about, I’m trying to show that even the people that seem to have it all can be just as lost and broken as the rest of us, also that the most important thing you could be to a person is someone who asks them if they’re okay. Sometimes, that’s all a person needs - Someone to listen.

READ!⚠️angst, suicide,character death, drugs, heavy self-hating words, depiction of depression/mental illness, not specified, but insinuates⚠️

{🎵SOTS☁️; Lifeboat, Elle McLemore}

The world seemed to close in on you as you stared at the boy who stood before you with a hardened gaze in his eyes. While you only stood a good 3 feet away from him, you could feel the anger and helplessness radiating off of him, transferring itself onto you in sadness and heartbreak.

“Why?” Was the only thing you could manage to get past your lips.

“Y/n, it’s not that I don’t like you, of course I do. We’ve been dating for 2 years, but I’ve just been... uncomfortable almost the whole time. It’s not your fault, it’s just, your life. I can’t handle being with one of the most popular girls in school. You seem to have it all figured out, and everyone loves you, and I feel pushed to the side sometimes.” You didn’t understand why Jaemin was mad, but the small space under the bleachers where you both stood was enough to suffocate you to the point where you didn’t care to ask.

He didn’t understand.

They never understood.

No one.

You wanted to fight to save your relationship, but the words choked into the back of your throat, just like they did when Soojin would bully people in front of you, and you wanted to scream at her and pull the other person into your arms and whisper that it will all be okay and apologize apologize apologize, but you stayed rigid on her flank, silently trying to survive until you could get to Jaemins arms, or to the bottom of a beer bottle at yet another house party you were constantly forced to attend with your other two friends.

You choose to swallow your spit, and ask him, “is this because of soojin? Did she say something to you?” You knew your “dear” friend had a certain distaste for your long term boyfriend, because - as she had worded it - his kind doesn’t belong next to someone that Soojin had deemed acceptable enough to befriend (you); “His kind” being not necessarily the most popular. Him and his other friends were amazing people, and you wished you would have befriended them on the first day of freshman year, instead of the blonde girl in your Art 1 class that always had a red scrunchie. When Jaemin introduced you to them, you could tell they were hesitate to let you into their life - what with your position within your schools hierarchy system. You honestly didn’t blame them. However, after a while they warmed up to you, and you felt like you finally fit in with people. You thought these people would become your life long friends; long after you’ve left high school and forgotten all about the life you unwillingly lead.

You suppose that is no longer the case.

“No, yes, god I don’t know, y/n. It’s just, everything! You have friends that are bitches, and I never know when you’re just going to leave me and spread some terrible rumor about me!” He was silently yelling now. It was after school, and the football team was on the field - the other side of where you stood - practicing. There were people running on the track, cheerleaders practicing next to the field, leftover students wondering the grounds. Everyone was living, moving on with their lives and turning along with the Earth - why did you feel frozen? Why did you feel like nothing was ever going to keep moving and be okay and the world was never going to be beautiful again?

“Is that what you expect me to do, Jaemin? After two years of knowing me, is that what you think of me?”

“God, y/n, maybe! I see who you align yourself with so I wouldn’t be surprised if you were a bitch just like them!” You understood he was just hurting, like you, but that didn’t make the words hurt any less. You took a couple steps back from his figure with slow nods, before turning around fully and booking your way to your car.

Jaemin watched your retreating figure with tears curling into his eyes. He left not long after you did, still thinking about you on the way home. He didn’t know this at the time, but that was the last time he ever saw you. His first love, his first heartache.

You felt guilty.

You always did. You always had this insistent chewing at your intestines; this constant voice in your head telling you that everyone was better than you, and that you didn’t deserve the praise you got for being a good person.

You tried to fight the words and the icky feelings off with trips to the volunteer center - usually with Jaemin. You went that night, hoping that this constant pain in your heart after hearing jaemins smooth, venom-filled words would choke back and leave your system, like the terrible feelings usually did when you helped people. However, no matter how many people smiled at you, and no matter how many lives you got to help, the feeling only grew more and more.

You are worthless, y/n.

You only do charity work for your own need.

No one likes you.

You’ll never be loved.

Not even Jaemin loves you.

These ill thoughts were a normal occurrence for you. Usually, Jaemin would lay you down, rub your stomach, and whisper in your ear how beautiful you were to him, inside and out.

You were a nuisance and a waste to him, y/n.

The feelings never left, and you could tell people knew something was wrong with you, so you chose to leave the center early. On your way out, a familiar face had asked you where Jaemin was. You pretended you didn’t hear them.

Your room was dark. Usually, if you couldn’t have Jaemin, you would go to your parents. However, they were away at a dinner event for your mother’s work. You would never go to Soojin, and while you loved Haeyong, she had a tendency to tell Soojin about what you two privately talked about; always trying to get brownie points with the blonde girl who seemed to secretly hate her. You figured there was someone you could go to, and it didn’t hurt to try.

Y/n [10:57pm] u up???? I kinda need someone to talk to rn hAha. Read

Y/n [10:59pm] hello? 👉👈 Read

Y/n [11:02pm] Haechan why r you leaving me on read bro?? Ik he’s your best friend, but we don’t have to talk about him, I just need someone to talk to pLS pls. Read

[MISSED CALL FROM Y/N] 11:02PM

Haechan [11:03pm] listen y/n we shouldn’t talk anymore, I’m sorry. You were a good friend, but Jaemin was and always will be first to me. And he’s right, we never know when you’re going to do a 180 on us and tell all of our secrets to everyone. We can’t - and never have been able to - trust you. I’m sorry, really. You’re a popular girl. You don’t need us, you’ll forget. When we became friends with you, we didn’t really want to, Jaemin kinda forced us to, I hope u understand. :/ we’ll forget about u, u forget about us. Deal? Read

Y/n [11:04pm] um ok. Sorry for bothering you all, have a good night Read

Y/n [11:03pm] when will u be home?Read

[MISSED CALL FROM Y/N] 11:04PM

Mom [11:06pm] not for a while, ask Jaemin to come over if you’re scared of being alone. Read

Y/n [11:06pm] mom i hate to be annoying but can u and dad come home rn??? I need u Read

[MISSED CALL FROM Y/N] 11:06PM

Mom [11:08pm] are you dying? Has someone broken in? Are you unsafe?Read

Y/n [11:08pm] um,,,,no Read

Mom [11:10pm] well then no y/n. You know how much this award means to me, I’ve been constantly working lately and finally might get recognized for it. If I leave now, I might not get it. Can whatever you need wait? Read

Y/n [11:11pm] Um yeah. I love u Read

Mom [11:12pm] u too💖 Read

Why were you never first?

Why was there no one who asked you if you were okay?

If there was, what would you say?

See y/n? No one likes you.

You’re a bother to them.

Maybe you should fix that.

Maybe if you made their lives easier, they would love you.

You didn’t deserve their love, but maybe?

Maybe the pills could love you.

They were always there for you.

Maybe, they could help others love you too.

Love love love love.

Maybe.

They say your parents found you in bed.

They thought you were sleeping. I mean, all your lights were off, it was late.

But in the morning, when your mother came to wake you up and saw that your eyes were wide open, well....

They found the note on your desk across the room.

It was dated a year before.

You had written it a year before.

Everyone admitted that it was such a beautiful note. Heartbreaking? Yes. gut-wrenching? Of course. But beautiful, absolutely beautiful.

They gathered everyone into the gym the next day in intervals. Freshman, who didn’t understand what was really happening, but had heard your name and definitely knew who you were, and could put two and two together.

Next, the sophomores. Like the freshman, they only had heard of you. Some had met you, some cried. You were kind, they knew.

After them, the juniors. Chenle and Jisung were sitting in the corner. Jisung was sobbing into Chenle’s lap, while silent tears fell down the olders’ face. You had always been willing to play video games with them, and were such a kind hearted person. They remember last night, when they were all sitting together and haechan had read your texts you sent out loud, and all of them were so busy feeling for Jaemin, that they blindly informed Haechan on what he should say. On how to break your heart. Chenle wished Haechan had called her.

Finally, the seniors. Soojin and Haeyong sat in the back, as always. They were both upset because you had not been answering their texts.

Renjun, Haechan, Jeno, and Jaemin were sitting on the other side. They had not been told what the assembly was about, but when the teacher got the call about it, halfway through math, she sat at her desk for a couple of seconds with her head in her hands. They knew whatever the assembly was about was not good.

Haechan was the first to react out of the four.

He whispered your name silently with wide eyes rounded on his face. His mind went to the first time you met him. You played him in a round of Overwatch to get him to warm up to you, and easily beat him. Besides Jaemin, he was probably the one you were closest to.

Jeno just kept looking at his lap with evident tears denting dark spots onto his jeans. Renjun, who was sitting next to Jaemin, couldn’t take his eyes off the boy to his right, terrified that he would faint.

Jaemin felt sick. He knew he looked pale, and his head felt a bit dizzy. He tasted metallic in his mouth, and finally registered that he was biting the inside of his cheek so hard, he was drawing blood. He wanted to leave, but he was too far up on the risers to get down.

Soojin cried. It was uncharacteristic of her, but at this point she didn’t care. How had she not seen it? Was she that self centered that she had really not seen it on you? Her best friend?

Haeyong wished you had called her, wished you had told her. But why would you? She knew she didn’t deserve to hear your heartache, but she still wished.

They read out your note. Your beautiful, heartbreaking, gut-wrenching note. They read it. And the student body listened.

I float in a boat

In a raging black ocean

Low in the water

And no where to go

The tiniest lifeboat

With people I know

Cold,

Clammy and crowded

The people smell desperate

We’ll sink any minute

So someone must go

The tiniest lifeboat

With people I know

Everyone’s pushing

Everyone’s fighting

Storms are approaching, there’s no where to hide

If I say the wrong thing

Or I wear the wrong outfit

They’ll throw me right over the side

I’m hugging my knees

And the captain is pointing

Well who made her captain?

Still, the weakest must go

The tiniest lifeboat

Full of people I know

The tiniest lifeboat

Full of people I know

Lemme know if you’d like a part two? Idk. Like I said this is purely indulgent so it’s not that good sorry :///

129 notes · View notes

jeonqukie · 4 years ago

Text

SOMEBODY ELSE / 02 ( ALT ).

SYNOPSIS / After years of working up the courage to confess his feelings for you, Min Yoongi decides to give up and move on from the unrequited position he has put himself in. However, when you discover his veiled attraction towards you, you dwell on what could have been. You find yourself ready to reciprocate the same sentiment for him, only you’re too late when he reveals he has already found someone else. Consequently, you’re lured into a series of meaningless and warped encounters from the one person you swore to avoid.

FEATURING / Min Yoongi; brief appearances by Kim Seokjin, Jung Hoseok, Park Jimin, and Jeon Jungkook.

GENRES / Angst, romance, mature, friends with benefits, and unrequited love.

WARNINGS / This chapter contains alcohol consumption, graphic language, mentions of sexual activity, mentions and acts of infidelity, and other mature themes.

WORD COUNT / 4.2k.

TABLE OF CONTENTS / To be redirected and get the latest on the story, click on the table of contents.

NOTES / Because part 3 of somebody else will take some time to write, I decided to post one of the original ideas I had thought of for part 2. I still really like this version a lot, but I feel like I wasn’t going to go the direction I wanted to. So please enjoy this alternate version while I still plot out part 3! In another world, this is what I had planned out for this love triangle. Feedback is always appreciate. Big reminder that I am forever grateful that you took your time to read this! Thank you very much for taking your time to read this. (つ≧▽≦)つ

“Ladies, gentlemen, and our non-binary friends,” All it took was one step inside of Ernie’s newly renovated bar to hear the particularly flamboyant introduction from the opposite side of the room. “We are pleased to announce the arrival of the new division head of advertising, YN.”

Your cheeks ignited at Seokjin’s grandiose greeting. The rest of the gang was evidently hammered from the boisterous cheers and praises. Nevertheless, it was nearly impossible to avoid the incessant stares from other bar attendees when your feet hastily walk towards the other side of the room.

“Ernie, another round of shots over here, please!” Michelle’s request could be heard from a mile away. You began to strip out of the beige blazer that matched your skirt off of your body only to reveal your white button-up shirt with the sleeves rolled up all the way to your elbows.

“I told you guys to get started with the drinks - not to get fucking hammered.”

“Sweetheart, the moment you gave us the approval, we couldn’t help ourselves.” You were seated in between Hoseok and Michelle, trying to make yourself comfortable inside the semi-circular booth. On the other end was Jimin and Seokjin who were awaiting patiently for the new round of drinks to appear on the table.

“Plus, it’s your fault for being late.”

“It’s not really my fault that I had to stay an hour back at the office. There were just a couple of paperwork I needed to complete.”

Could you imagine what your boss would have said if you refused to stay back at the office after you recently earned your promotion? It would have led to her doubting her decision to promote you. So you had no choice but to go along with the flow.

Frankly, it didn’t take long for you to earn your position. It may sound immodest of you to assume that, but you’ve only been working for a year and a half and you were already the division head in advertising. It’s funny how a year and a half ago, you were merely just an intern, fighting for a permanent position in the company.

The glasses of spirits soon arrive at your table, Hoseok captures one and placed the minuscule glass across from where you sat. “Alright, everybody, grab a shot because I shall propose a toast -“ But at the corner of your eye, your main focal point happened to be at the front door where he stood; dark mane and pale face when he enters the vicinity with the now familiar, Tiffany.

“Oh, shit, Yoongi and Tiffany are here! Okay, now, it’s a real party!” The sputtering slurs began erupting out of Seokjin’s mouth and all eyes immediately dart towards you.

You weren’t just a mere intern, struggling to find her place in the company a year and a half ago. You were just as lost and confused when it came to your own personal life. You vividly remember the morning Yoongi confronted you of your feelings - how you interrogated him of his true emotions with the both of you coming to the conclusion that there was no happy ending for the both of you.

The circle was in an awkward position for a while, unsure of whether you and him can be in the same room. But for the sake of everyone’s sanity, you were forced to make up with him. Well, you didn’t want to say you were forced to make up with him.

Your friends were too fed up to deal with the cumbersome conversations, so Hoseok and Seokjin had unwillingly bring you together to resolve the predicament you both found yourselves in.

To be honest, you missed him a lot. Persistently trying to avoid him for a good two months was draining, especially when he would be with Tiffany. You were quite surprised she hadn’t caught onto the dynamics of the clique after nearly being with Yoongi for months. You felt an ache in your chest every time she seemed to tag along with him. You even remembered the gut-wrenching moment when you overheard from Jimin that Yoongi manage to convince Tiffany to move in with him.

Suddenly, you found yourself back with Taehyung - in your eyes, he was a saving grace. He was constantly there to numb and alleviate you from the pain. You were always frustrated, absolutely depressed and sought for the comfort you yearned for. For some reason, you were okay every time - as Michelle would say, he’d fuck the sorrow out of your poor soul.

You recovered from the pain and your naive mind believed that you were immune to it.

You thought that everything was fine; you focused on work, focused on rekindling the same friendship with Yoongi and you even ignited a new one with Tiffany herself. She was genuinely sweet, caring, and selfless when it came to Yoongi. Soon enough, you were getting comfortable with the idea that, perhaps, the universe was right - maybe you and Yoongi were better off as friends.

Of course, that wasn’t the case.

Oh, how you were so wrong.

Just a month ago, you remembered how everybody gathered over to their apartment for a movie night and Yoongi made the announcement that he’s asked for Tiffany’s hand in marriage and she inevitably said yes.

Who wouldn’t say no to someone like him?

Living your life so normally, thinking that things have gotten better was just the naivety coming to slap you right across the face.

The pang of agony was unbearable. You weren’t so sure how you survived the two hours in their apartment with their radiating, saccharine faces.

Not even Taehyung could save you from this one.

You recalled the moment you and Michelle arrived home - how you stampeded over to the bathroom when you began to regurgitate all of the nauseating pain at the pits of your stomach. You were no where near drunk - just utterly miserable.

The sting of your eyes came crawling back to your eyes when the large diamond ring shone right across your face. With Yoongi and Tiffany at the end of the table, Seokjin looked at you straight in the eye, awaiting for you to raise your shot glass once more.

“Earth to YN, I need you to have your glass raised up.” You apologized hastily and raised the glass hesitantly, blushing in embarrassment when everyone had managed to catch you in a state of otherworldliness. “As I was saying, a big fucking congratulations to YN.” It was conspicuous that Seokjin was absolutely inebriated and you savored his demeanor; he was so carefree and loose. “And, also, to our Yoongi who, in a month, will no longer be a fucking bachelor.”

Everyone raised their glass yet you remained… paralyzed.

The clinks of the glass against each other notified you to take the shot into your lips and you swallowed it, feeling the stinging burn coating your throat.

With your eyes pinched closed, you open your eyes only to see Yoongi directly at you. For a split second, he saw the slightest unravel of your guard. He could feel his own chest swell when he notices the way Michelle’s arms slither around your shoulders, whispering words of comfort into your ear before your lips unwontedly twitch onto a discomforting grin. Your eyes glistened underneath what little lighting the bar possessed and when both your eyes lock onto each other, he can see the light in your eyes losing its spark ever so slowly.

You made the announcement that you will be using the restroom and that you should be back with another order of drinks. Scooting your way out of the booth, Yoongi’s eyes follow to where you hastily amble towards the women’s restroom. He tried his best to ignore the way you felt about the situation. He knew that if he factored you in to every decision he made, he wouldn’t be able to progress his relationship with her.

However, when the words came slipping out of somebody else’s mouth that he would no longer be an emotionally available man, it dawned on him how soon everything seemed and he tries his best not to dwell on the fact that there was a slim possibility that he was regretting the decisions he made himself.The night was still relatively young. It was close to midnight, but your feet was growing painfully exhausted from being at the dance floor all night. In order to avoid the newly engaged couple, Michelle and Jimin were trying their best to aid you in distracting yourself from your pain and, hopefully, avoiding you from a really bad mistake.

In this case, they feared that you would drunkenly dial your unofficial bootycall.

But Taehyung has made it clear that it’s best if he strayed away from you… because there was only so much he can do to help you forget Yoongi. Every time he had the chance to see you, it gave him more confirmation that you were anything but over Yoongi. Despite his efforts of making you forget him, he realizes that you were utterly in love with somebody else and he can’t change a thing about it.

Michelle held your phone so close to her while Jimin spun you in circles all night. You yearned to have the phone back to your safety, in case your boss called you for an emergency, but they knew it was wise of them to keep it as far away from you. But they had their limits, too.

“That’s the last song, I’m beat.” Jimin surrenders in defeat which is quite surprising for someone like him. He had so much energy and he was usually the last one off of the dance floor. But you can see from corner of your booth how Tiffany nuzzled ever so lovingly onto Yoongi’s neck when they whisper to each other and your eyes dart back to Jimin who was ambling over towards the bar along with Michelle and you were left stranded in the middle of the floor awkwardly.

It wasn’t until you feel the warmth of somebody else’s body against yours. You spun around to meet eyes with a much taller male; his hair slightly parted with the ends just ending at the top of his brows. His hooded doe eyes stare right down at you with his naturally pink lips curling onto a flirtatious grin.

“H - hi,” You were breathless and taken aback by his handsome face when the song switches over to a much slower rhythm, introducing a romantic guitar at the background. “I - uh, I’m sorry. You must have me mistaken for somebody else.” However, he shakes his head when his large palm envelopes your wrist gently, urging you to slither his arms around his shoulders.

“I saw your friends abandon you and you looked… lonely, so I decided to come and save the day.” He chuckles darkly when you oblige to his request. The romantic guitar playing in the background is not helping you establishing personal space with the newfound stranger. But you weren’t necessarily protesting against it; it was just a little too forward for your liking especially when you couldn’t see your friends in sight. “Plus, you have some serious dance moves."

“Saving me won’t do anything.” It was a depressing thought and you were already biting back the tears that shimmered your eyes when you looked onto the stranger’s eyes. “There’s really no point in saving damaged goods.” You concluded your self-deprecating statements with a dark chuckle, cocking your head to the side to see just how he would react. “Thank you though; I learned from both of my friends who abandoned me. I think you should be dancing with them instead of me." He swipes his tongue across his mouth when he guides you to the rhythm of the song; hips grinding and swaying together, bodies getting closer and closer to each other.

“What’s your name?” He whispers ever so softly into your ear when his large hand is placed right at the small of your back, right above your ass.

“YN.” You answer him breathlessly. Oddly enough, you find yourself being so responsive to his touch - to his voice and to his requests. “I think it’s fair you give me yours?”

“Jungkook.” He sighs before looking you straight into your eyes. “Whoever hurt you,” he begins before his the palm of his hand comes to cup your cheek, thumb circling over the cheek. “… is a real fucking idiot.”

Your laugh travels so far through the room and Yoongi reactively searches for your location. He watches you nuzzle onto the warmth of the stranger’s palm, feeling the world move around you. You were reminded just how out of tune you were out of your normal self. The buzzed brain clearly did not function well when it came to making smart decisions which is why you found yourself caressing his cheek as well, only to have your thumb swiping against his bottom lip. Instinctively, Yoongi’s digits grip around Tiffany’s waist and she squeals, reminding him just how ticklish she was. But his eyes remained fixated on your dancing body, how close you seemed to be against another man.

“I see what you’re trying to do.” You begin your comment before you slowly peel yourself out of the much taller male. “You see this… girl and it’s so obvious she’s broken and it’s so easy to get a good fuck.” You sigh before your digits run themselves through your tousled mane. “You put on this spiel that you can make her feel good, but you can’t. You try to get her hopes up and we all know how this ends.”

His eyes transform into more melancholic ones and he shakes his head before he takes a safe step closer to your body. At the corner of your eye, you can sense the presence of your friends. Suddenly, you can feel several eyes on you, observing how you stood your ground. “You’re wrong, but if that’s how you truly feel, I won’t convince you otherwise."

Your perfectly sculpted brows knit together in confusion when you see him take another step closer towards you, but you remain frozen to the floors. From the booth, Yoongi can see your mouth moving; they were poutier than ever - the bottom sticked out so much when you spoke to the stranger across you. He watches the other male tower over you, caressing your soft cheeks and he fists his hand momentarily before he watches you nod to his statement.

Suddenly, Yoongi observes the way you step closer onto the other male’s body; how his arm wrapped around your waist while you had yours propped over his shoulder. It’s been a while since he felt the nauseating boil at the pit of his stomach; he was envious of the man who had you all to himself at the dance floor. His eyes never missed a second of you swaying your hips to the pattern of the romantic guitar in the background, the way the male lured you to press your smaller physique onto his.

When the song ends, Jungkook whispers something into your ear before he barely brushes his petals right above yours. It ghosted over your dry ones and it took every ounce of self-resistance for Jungkook to step away from you and you both bid your goodbyes only to watch the lust driven look on your face direct itself towards where Yoongi sat uncomfortably. Tiffany and Hoseok were having a conversation about cleaning supplies and he could careless about which bleach did the best job of ridding of stains. However, Yoongi, a newly engaged man, found himself standing up from the booth only to examine you from head to toe. He observes the way your chest rose up and down heavily, frustrated and anxious to have what should be hers.

His eyes doesn’t disconnect from yours and you can’t help but swipe your tongue over to wet your petals, tasting the dried alcohol off of your lips and a hint of his strawberry chapstick. He wasn’t aware how hot the entire vicinity seemed to be. In addition to that, there was a minor strain over at his ripped, skinny jeans. When he mentally curses to himself, you begin your exit out of the bar, desperate to breathe in the cool air to relieve you off your non-fulfillments. When the night’s breeze attack your body, the muffled noises from the bar notifies you that you’re absolutely and utterly alone. The cruel reality of the thought finally edged you to your breaking point and you found yourself leaning against the wall, hugging yourself in the process of sobbing. When the doors open once more, revealing that Yoongi had followed you outside, clearly concerned for your well-being.

“What are you doing out here?” You inquire before you begin wiping every single tear that came streaming down your cheeks.

“I’d like to ask you the same question, to be honest.”

“I just needed some fresh air.” You quip bitterly before you sniffle to yourself, swallowing hard when he examines your current state. Hair disheveled from dancing for a decent hour yet your outfit seemed to be well in tact. The white dress shirt still tucked beautifully onto the waist of your beige skirt and some black tights to complement the outfit. But your eyes were too broken to comprehend; they were red and absolutely shattered, yet they shimmered in the night light. When he sees fresh tears staining your cheeks, he desperately seeks to wipe them off of you.

“A month, huh?”

Yoongi’s digits remain frozen midair when he attempt to wipe the tears off of your stained cheeks. He swallows hard, knowing very well where the conversation is leading to. All he could do is nod his head once and drop the hand to his side while takes a few step back, reminding himself that he cannot offer the same comfort to you anymore.

“Well, congratulations, Yoongs. I always thought Michelle would be the first one to get married - even Hoseok or something.” Yoongi was having a difficult time comprehending how you were still joking despite the pain he had put you through.

“Stop the bullshit, YN. I know you’re not okay with this.”

The uneasiness of his voice had your heart racing and your eyes disconnected from his; not wanting to read his mind - or try to read his mind. With pursed lips, the silence gave you a moment to remember everything - all of the pain he has put you through. Alcohol was running through both of your veins and you feel your hands ball into fists.

“But there’s nothing I can do about it.”

“From what I heard you’ve been fucking Taehyung.” He scoffs and, suddenly, you were no longer sad.

“So?”

“Well, how’s that working out for you, YN? How is fucking your ex-boyfriend going to make things any better between you and I?” You clenched your jaw and you swallowed hard, trying to understand why he was so frustrated with you. “And then you’re… just… sleeping with random strangers at the club now?”

“Excuse me?”

“Oh, c’mon, Hoseok tells me everything.”

“No - no! You have no right to discuss this with me. You have no right to judge me.” You seethed, stepping closer to his frame. “Just because you’re doing so much better at moving on from whatever the fuck we had, you have no right to judge the way I’m trying to cope with everything when this is all your fault.”

He scoffs bitterly and you pace yourself away from him, running your digits through your mane, wanting to rid of all frustrations out of your body immediately.

“I - I put my feelings to the side! I’ve withstand every single thing concerning you and Tiffany. For fuck’s sake, Yoongi, I even befriended her for your sake…. just to get back to the way things were.” The contrast of the cold breeze on your skin and the hot tears streaming down your cheeks earned an eruption of goosebumps through your skin. Your teeth shattered when you spoke and you swallowed the filter you once possessed. You were mindlessly speaking out loud at this point.

“And, for a while, I thought everything was okay. I’ve accepted that maybe this can work out - that i can move on from you because… I was so fucking happy to see you happy even if it wasn’t with me.”

You chuckled to yourself, reminiscing back to your naivety.

“Then you proposed and that’s when I knew I’m… not even fucking close to getting over you.” His eyes never leave yours and you can see how hard he was gritting his teeth because of how prominent his jaw was. He held his breath as he studies your tired features. The bags underneath your eyes stood out from your skin. Eyes blood shot from your tears and the alcohol - from the pain.

“I don’t know how you did it though. You’ve seen me with Taehyung all those months and you never said a single thing about it.” You started and he watches how your eyes are just searching for the right answer as if you were begging him to give you the answer. “You never did a single thing about it.”

It was his turn to get frustrated with your words. He opens his mouth expecting to raise his voice on you, but with the way you were sobbing, he chooses to calm himself further.

“There was nothing I can do, YN. You were with somebody else.”

“And look how the tables have turned.” You sighed, nibbling onto the bottom of your lip. Tears stopped trailing down your cheeks and you took deep breaths to calm your beating heart. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but… I’m not over you, Yoongi.” Your voice is small… so small that you feel yourself shrink in size when you amble yourself closer to him. “We both… had the chance to be together, but… we just - we didn’t happen.”

Silence over takes the conversation once more.

“Do you ever think of what could have happened?”

His query catches you off guard and your eyes meet his and you nod once. You inhale deeply, smelling his cologne and the alcohol exuding from his skin. “All the time it’s fucking unhealthy.” You were surprised to hear him chuckle softly to himself and you fold your arms, preventing yourself from doing something you may regret.

“I keep thinking what it would be like to hold your hand.” At the tip of your fingers, you feel the itch desperate to feel the searing heat of his skin against yours. “Every time you whisper something to her, I just… think what it would feel like to have your lips brush up against my ears.” Your cheeks burned when you confess your hidden emotions to him. “I see the way you kiss her; you have your hand caressing her cheek, fingers crawling to the back of her neck and you… sort of cradle her head while you just… kiss her and…”

All sorts of breathing stops when a hot palm frustratingly caresses your cheek, crawling gracelessly across the back of your neck to force your head to tilt towards the towering male. A pair of soft petals crash onto your own when he inevitably caves in and hungrily captures your bottom lip. You responded immediately to his actions, arms slithering around his neck when he firmly pushes you to cold wall, digits tugging at the roots of your hair when his tongue intrudes itself inside your mouth. You savored the heat of his tongue inside your mouth, so you feel your tongue collide against his. He tastes of mint and whiskey and you were addicted to the taste of his mouth.

When the sounds of exiting clientele leaves the bar, you are alerted that this was… wrong.

Yoongi was kissing you.

Yoongi is with Tiffany. You keep chanting it in your head and it took every ounce of willpower for your palms to unfold and push his strong physique off of yours, but you remain frozen underneath his touch.

Instead, he stops. He releases you slowly, lips leaving yourself gently. His hands, however, remain glued to your stained cheeks and he tucks a strand of your hair behind your ear. “You don’t know how long I’ve been waiting to do that.”

“We can’t do that anymore.”

You separate your heated bodies away from each other, experiencing a multitude of emotions all at once. There was a satisfaction deep within you at the realization that you were not the only one suffering from the struggle to get over somebody else.

Who knew one single kiss from him was all it took to realize that you wanted more?

“I — we should forget that ever happened.” You licked your lips once more, the guilt clearly painted across your visage and you tried your hardest not to break down when Yoongi exhales out slowly and realizes the immorality of your actions.

He stays absolutely quiet with his lips parted.

“Yoongi, say something. I’m doing this for your sake.” You try to shake him back to reality, worried he might make a choice he sincerely regrets. “Yoongi, you’re engaged… to Tiffany. You’re marrying Tiffany. Please go back inside and be with her.”

He nods his head once and shakes his head, realizing the repercussions of his actions. “We — we can’t say anything.”

“I won’t say anything.”

He purses his lips into a thin line, deciding to amble back to the entrance of the bar.

“YN,” He starts before he opens the door. “I — I’m sorry."

#yoongi fic #yoongi imagine #yoongi x reader #yoongi smut #yoongi angst

71 notes · View notes

aspoonofsugar · 5 years ago

Note

Hi! I'm happy to find you reblogging something about Death Stranding. I love this game especially the story. It conveys the importance of the connection between people. I'm curious about who you like most in this game and your thoughts about the story.

Hello anon!

Thank you very much for this ask! I have recently watched the game’s cutscenes and I love the story and the characters!

In this answer I won’t be able to touch on every aspect of the story, but I will talk of some things I liked and of my two favourite characters:

I am fond of Fragile and love her with all my heart, while I like how complex Amelie is as a character and the perfect equilibrium they managed to obtain with her characterization and story. Basically I love the first with my heart and I like the second with my head.

Both women are representative of different aspects of society and to be more precise Fragile represents society’s positive traits, while Amelie society’s ambivalence.

This ambivalence of society is well represented by the cuff links. As their name implies they both connect (links) and control (cuffs) people.

This same ambivalence is conveyed through the entirety of Amelie/Bridget’s story and character.

Amelie’s name, as it is explained in the game itself, has multiple meanings:

On one hand it means “a soul that is a lie” because Amelie is nothing more than a part of Bridget and not her own person. To be more precise she is Bridget’s Ka:

This works for the wordplay Amelie-Ka aka America:

“Have I ever told you my real name? It’s Amerigo, after Amerigo Vespucci, the man who discovered the continent”

“I thought it was Columbus?”

“Except Amerigo was full of it. He lied. America is a lie”.

So America (aka society) is a lie just like Amelie is. However, things are not so simple:

This is highlighted also by Amelie’s final speech to Sam. In this speech she keeps contradicting herself to the point that it is not even clear what her true objective and motivations were.

On one hand she claims that as an EE she has realized extinction is impossible to avoid and that she has done her best to try and make it faster, so that she won’t be stuck alone on the Beach.

On the other hand she claims that all her experiments as Bridget were an attempt to find a way out using the knowledge of the universe to stop the Death Stranding.

Basically, Amelie came up and implemented a plan which worked both to save humanity and to destroy it and she herself is probably not sure of what she was hoping for.

This is made clear also by her act of saving Sam:

When she is the one narrating the story the whole scene is portrayed as sweet and as Amelie being able to feel sympathy and warmth for another life hence her resurrecting Sam and developing a bond with him.

However, later on, when we see what actually happened in Cliff’s past, we are shown this:

It was Bridget who killed Sam and Amelie’s resurrecting him ends up acquiring a more utilitaristic spin since Bridget was interested in Sam because of her experiments. That said, Bridget decided to bring Sam up even if he can’t be useful anymore in the BB experiments suggests a genuine attachment on her part. In the end, it is through this redemptive action and through her bond with Sam that the Last Stranding is postponed since Amelie chooses to believe in him.

In short, Bridget/Amelie is an extremely ambiguous character, just like society is and this is why what Sam tells Die-Hardman in the end is so important:

As Sam implies, Die-Hardman unwillingly represents the old ways which need to be overcome if there must be hope for the future. He is a character as ambiguous as Amelie is since he too appears thorn and to be more specific he is thorn between his loyalty for Cliff and his loyalty for Bridget. In this he is similar to Sam and in his last speech to him, Die-Hardman tries to reconcile these two loyalties, but this reconciliation is only partly possible for both him and Sam. In the end, Die-Hardman did not actively kill Cliff, but he did so thanks to his passivity and at the end of the game he is shown encouraging the narrative depicting Amelie and Bridget as heroes and concealing everything negative she did. In other words, he is still telling and spreading lies.

In short, the ambiguity of society is conveyed through characters like Amelie and Die-Hardman who have sacrificed babies (aka the symbols of the future) to a plan which could have potentially both saved and destroyed the world. Despite this, society is still the only chance humanity has to survive.

And society still has beautiful things and these things are embodied by Fragile who is clearly a very important character thematically:

Fragile is a person whose time has been taken away from her and this is why her body has aged prematurely. However, she has never given up and has kept trying to do the best she can with the little time she has left. This is literally what all humanity must currently do as it was stated by Amelie as well:

The only thing humanity can do is to try to evolve and to survive. After all life itself is:

Life is fragile, but not that fragile. It fights to survive and Fragile embodies exactly this. This is why she is a porter just like Sam and she is specialized in taking care of frail cargo. She protects fragility and makes sure it survives. This is something symbolized also by her powers which let her teleport through the beaches of people she knows and understands. In other words, her ability is a physical embodiment of the ability of becoming connected with another person.

Of course, because of society being a double edged sword she too has been used to create damage and in particular Higgs used her to destroy a city. However, even if she was betrayed in such a way she did not give up and managed to save another town in exchange of a high personal sacrifice.

So Fragile is the life which struggles under adversities and her arc in the game is symbolic of this. After all, she starts the game in a similar place as Sam:

She too does not care about America and she is simply motivated by the loyalty towards her father and her feelings of revenge against Higgs just like Sam is motivated by her bond with Amelie. However, by the end of the game she has changed:

She has decided to implement her father vision and as Sam says she is “going on with the world”. She is evolving and has found a new place within society through her newly found connections.

However, this is specifically why her path diverges from Sam who, like her, finds a new purpose through his father’s words. That said, this purpose is different from Fragile’s:

Thematically speaking Fragile is the good about society and it is not by chance that she is the one that, since their first encounter, offers Sam the possibility to be part of a group aka to be part of something bigger. And she repeats her offer to Sam at the end of the game.

However, by that point Sam has two problems. The first is what he himself states:

He is still grieving and is scared of creating bonds or to better say to enjoy his bonds since by that point he has clearly created strong bonds with the other members of Bridges. As a matter of fact his whole speech about how he still has no bonds is clearly false considering that in the end it was his bonds with the others which saved him from a lonely existence on the Beach. However, it is true that he has gone through a highly traumatizing experience.

What is more, this experience has casted a shadow on the way Sam sees society. This is made even clearer by the fact that society still plans to use and dispose of BB. This is something Sam can’t accept and his wish to try and save Lou is what motivates him to leave the others.

The fact that the last scene between Sam and Fragile is so sad is probably because she represents his chance to go back to be a part of society, but by that point Sam has already chosen to escape society hence him pushing her away.

Basically, while Fragile has found new bridges to put society back together and will keep working to obtain this result, Sam has found a different kind of bridge:

It is a bridge to the future aka a child and as Cliff stated:

Louise has become Sam’s bridge to the future. She has become a link he must accept and take care of because Lou is completely dependant on him, so he does not have the luxury of leaving her behind. In conclusion, Sam himself has become the Cliff which needs to be connected to the future and given courage by a little bridge. This is why babies are bridges. It is not because they are connected to death, but it is because they are connected to hope and the future.

So, Death Stranding is a story which explores the beauty of living even in desperate situations and the beauty of different kinds of bonds both in the present (among peers) and in the future (parent-child relationships).

I loved basically all characters. Cliff’s story is heartbreaking, but his last moments with Sam are beautiful and I loved Deadman, Mama and Heartman. Their stories were all interesting and were used to explore different aspects of the worldbuilding and of the themes and foreshadowed different plot-points (like Amelie being Bridget’s Ka in Mama’s story and Cliff using the Beach to search for his lost son like Heartman using it to look for his family).

Thank you for the ask, I am sure I did not do justice to the complexity of the story, but I hope my thoughts were interesting! Feel free to ask something more specific and have a great day!

#death stranding #death stranding meta #amelie strand #samantha america strand #bridget strand #fragile #sam strand porter bridges #clifford unger #die-hardman #asksfullofsugar #anonymous

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ice-cream-nekogirl · 5 years ago

Text

Dusk Till Dawn (Shinsou Hitoshi X Reader) PART 3

PART 2: https://ice-cream-kitsunegirl.tumblr.com/post/186248881234/dusk-till-dawn-shinsou-hitoshi-x-reader-part-2

Taglist: @estherosoro

Summary: You and Shinsou are made to suffer and forced to do things against your wills, but thinking about each other is what keeps you both from giving up.

I'm not the best with graphic things but I tried my best! This is... definitely my most... probably psychological thrilling chapter... I’ve watched a lot of shows that include torture so... I think I did well? I tried ^^; But this does serve as a warning for some who might not be good with torture scenes or the idea of torture. There’s quite a lot of angst in here too.

Warnings: Some graphic violence, gore and sexual situations.

Featuring: Our Purple Son!! <3

Chapter 3: Torment

3 DAYS LATER…

It hurt…

Everything in your body was hurting.

You shivered while you lied on your ‘bed’ in pain as burns and scars lacerated around your stomach, back, wrists and arms. You were positive that they were going to get infected at some point because it was still so freaking cold in here, and even with the weak jacket you still couldn’t bear the cold because it made your wounds feel even worse. And you didn’t even want to imagine how Shinsou must have been feeling since he was beaten just as badly as you were.

These men made you search for heroes and other students with strong quirks, and when you refused, they either beat you or shocked you with a cattle prod until you reluctantly gave them their location. They asked you questions about UA, and every time you refused, they shocked you again and tortured you until you tearfully gave them answers about what you knew. Your friendships with Izuku and Bakugou as well as your closeness to 1-A.

You felt so horrible when they managed to bring at least three other kidnapped teenagers and then Shinsou was forced to brainwash them or else he got prodded. So he made them do things that he never would have made anyone do, and was constantly threatened with even more severe beatings if he attempted to brainwash any of the goons like Bozo, Lothario or Mad Dog.

Guilty from the deeds you did, you silently cried for the 3rd time that day, and you didn’t even know how long it had been because it felt like you were trapped here forever. They barely took you out of this jail cell unless they needed you to find someone, or for bathroom breaks which they were surprisingly generous enough to do.

But they barely gave you any food, all you’ve had for ‘breakfast’, ‘lunch’ and ‘dinner’ was this disgusting old gruel that couldn’t have been good for your body. It tasted awful and you could barely even eat it as you felt your stomach cramp painfully from hunger. They had left a bowl of that same gruel for you, but it was untouched for the past day because you just couldn’t down it, but your stomach demanded you to put something in it…

Whimpering, you inhaled sharply as you numbly crawled to the plate, leaning in to get a small bite of the vile gruel.

The sickening taste making your tastebuds revolt as you shuddered and forced yourself to swallow it, but you instantly gagged as soon as that slop went down your throat.

At least they gave you water, in fact they gave you more water than food since humans needed water to survive. But it wasn’t enough, because you were in pain, starving, thirsty and imprisoned. It was like Hell on earth. A true nightmare for the two of you, and you couldn’t even be around Shinsou other than when they made you both use your quirks for their evil deeds.

In your moment of self-pity, you gasped with tears in your eyes when the door opened and it was Lothario, the one you hated the most as you trembled when seeing his sick grin. “C’mon you… need your mind again~.” He drawled as he picked you up and threw you over his shoulders, ignoring your weak protests and soft sobbing.

However, you forced yourself to look and see around the place, wanting to memorize your surroundings so that way you could think of possible ways to escape.

But one thing’s for sure, you weren’t leaving Shinsou behind at all.

Elsewhere…

Shinsou was curled up and trembling in the blood-stained ‘bed’ of his cell as he tried to ignore how much his body was hurting. Purple bruises spotted all over his back, chest and stomach with raw scars on his wrists from the restraints they constantly put on him. At least he didn’t have the gag in his mouth anymore, but it didn’t make the agony any or the freezing cold any better.

Bozo had it out for him, and beat him every chance he got but he was wise as he made sure to only hit Shinsou’s torso and lower body, refusing to hit him in the face or the head as to keep him alive and conscious to use his quirk.

Everything was sore, he could barely even move his limbs because whenever a bruise formed, Bozo made sure to hit the same spots over and over again to keep him weak and unable to fight back. Shinsou was thankful he at least wasn’t drugged, but he knew that he was only kept stable just so he could properly brainwash others.

Shinsou hated this, he hated everything. The pain wasn’t nearly as bad as the swirling self-hatred inside of him. All the things his old classmates said about him, his ‘potential’ to become a villain, had come true…

He forced people to do things; he forced them to act as tools for Koru, and they were trapped here just like you and him were. Just like a villain, this man turned him into the villain his classmates always said he had the potential to be.

He hated it.

Shinsou didn’t even hear the sound of the door opening, no longer dreading a beating from Bozo because he felt it was deserved for what he had been forced to do. “Purple Mist.” It was another goon that went by ‘Tornado’, that he could tell but Shinsou didn’t budge from his spot. So the man picked him up, and roughly dropped him to the floor as the teen grunted slightly as the impact only made more blood from his nose leak and stain the filthy floor.

“Drink.”

Purple eyes blinked to see a ladle full of water out for him to drink from, slowly he peered up to see Tornado’s cold blue eyes. This man was silent compared to the rest of the screaming lunatics here, but Shinsou knew that he couldn’t be stable since he was here voluntarily. He enjoyed seeing him in prison like this and making him feel like a prisoner.

The last drink he had was over 24 hours ago, and he couldn’t deny that he was extremely thirsty, and starving. If he didn’t know any better, he would say that this person was doing this on purpose for his own pleasure.

“Drink.”

He repeated and Shinsou’s tired eyes narrowed a little bit; he’d been drinking nothing but water for the past couple of days because he could barely down that disgusting gruel, even though he knew he needed to eat and drink to stay alive. Maybe if he stopped drinking then these men would discard him and he could no longer do things for them. Maybe he should have stopped fighting because there was no one coming to rescue you and him.

Until he remembered you…

He couldn’t leave you, and he wouldn’t leave you…

Every time he was taken out, he remembered the halls, and carefully listened to the men talking and the sounds of heavy wind hitting the walls every room he was put into. Outside the one window he saw every day, there was nothing white. Heavy snow, he assumed, as it would explain why it was so fucking cold. And there was also a ski lift with old chairs.

But based on how far the ski-lift descended, he deducted that they were at the very top and likely near a mountain…

This place used to be a ski resort, and that made sense as to why it was far out and isolated, because it was abandoned due to malfunctioning chairs that got a few people killed back in the day according to an amused Bozo. Koru had found it and turned it into his personal fortress since nobody else came around here and with the mountain taking away Wi-Fi, combined with his powerful snow quirk, it made search and rescue almost impossible.

“Drink.”

Tornado was persistent, his expression still like stone as he looked down expectantly for Shinsou to drink so he was still hydrated, but didn’t notice that the boy was in deep thought, “Is he givin’ ya attitude?” But Shinsou’s eyes slightly widened as soon as heard Bozo’s voice.

And there he was, walking right inside next to Tornado and glaring down at the battered teenager. “Didn’t your parents ever teach ya manners? When someone gives you something, you take it and say ‘thank you’.” Bozo reprimanded him, grabbing a fistful of his hair as Shinsou shut his eyes and grit his teeth.

“I… know…” He rasped out, resenting the fact that he had to be so damn compliant, but he didn’t want to be killed or beaten any further to prevent a potential escape.

Unsatisfied, Bozo scoffed and let him go, shrugging his shoulders as he took the ladle from Tornado and held it out for Shinsou to take a drink from. Although his body was still quivering, Shinsou did pick himself up to take a drink, but then he shut his eyes when a sudden downpour of freezing water suddenly crashed over him and soaked his hair, face and torso. He sputtered and started coughing out the water that got into his nose and eyes, his body automatically shivering when the frigid air just made him colder with the added wetness.

Shinsou could barely hear Bozo’s uproarious laughter over his chattering teeth and didn’t see the bastard taking Tornado to leave. “Start showin’ manners kid… maybe I’ll be nicer to ya when ya do.” Bozo said one last time before he left the teenager to tremble all by himself in the bitterly cold room.

He hated that man, he absolutely hated him more than he’s hated anyone before. The act of cruelty doing nothing to quell his thirst as a very reluctant, but very desperate Shinsou slowly crawled over to the small little puddle of water left on the ground.

Disgusted with himself and ashamed for how pathetic he felt right now, he unwillingly pressed his lips to the spill to sip up whatever was left…

He had to survive. He had to survive for yours and his sake so you both could escape...

FIVE HOURS LATER…

You successfully found three other young teenagers that had strong quirks, and Koru had already sent out some of his goons to go and retrieve them. A stray tear fell down your cheek when you heard the boss’s heinous little giggle. Koru saw this though, and he wiped it away as you slowly peered up at him with an empty, yet repulsed gaze.

“Don’t be upset Psy-Fy… I’ve told you… we are doing a good thing here…” He ‘reassured’ you, but you knew better. This man was a lunatic, hell-bent on trafficking children.

Koru smiled at you, he was aware that you weren’t exactly broken yet. “Hey… if it makes you feel any better. You and Purple Mist aren’t going to be alone too long.” That made your eyes widen a little bit, and you felt apprehension beginning to build in your chest.

“I’ve heard the stories… Shigaraki had the right idea… but he did it wrong. He tried and failed to get that Bakugou kid… and didn’t bother to get any of the other stronger ones with the useful quirks… what were their names again?” He feigned innocence as he recollected the names of your friends that you were forced to tell him, “Midoriya, Kaminari, Endeavor’s kid, sweet Yaoyorozu and Uraraka… or even that weird bird kid… ”He started smirking as soon as he saw you trembling when some of your very good friends were mentioned…

“It’s because he didn’t have enough resources and couldn’t get close enough to him… it was sloppy work. Very sloppy… not enough back-up, and not an inside source… or even a villain with a quirk useful enough…” Koru’s eyes widened as he gave a false gasp, clasping his hands together as he gave you an open-mouthed grin.

“But we do! We have you! And Purple Mist! Your quirk can find them… I’ll send Bozo and Mad Dog to find him… and Purple Mist will make them do what I need them to do!” He said excitedly, snickering when you visibly shook and tears sprung to your (E/C) eyes.

Choking on a sob, you shook your head, “N-No… please no… d-don’t… don’t make me… please don’t make me look for my friends… please don’t make me find anyone anymore…” You tearfully begged and whimpered, but all Koru did was give you a look of fake sympathy. “I NEED those kids Psy-Fy… why can’t you just understand that this is all for a greater world?” He asked you softly, a slight edge of roughness at the end of his sentence when you shook your head.

“N-No… No I’m not gonna help you find Izuku or Katsuki… I ain’t helping you find any of them…” Your lip quivered as you refused and Koru’s baffled face contorted into a silent fury as he smacked you hard in the face. A loud shout left you as you tried to hold it back, but his hands were so cold and firm and you cried out when he grabbed your hair, pulling on your scowl as he snarled.

“I NEED YOU (L/N)!! I need those kids!! They are the tools for my plan! A plan that’s even bigger than all of us to remake the world into a greater one, and you are NOT GOING TO FUCK IT UP!!” He screamed in your face as spittle’s of saliva splattered onto your face; your eyes shut as you bit your bottom lip to quell a terrified wail.

You whimpered and gulped hard, your body shaking on a knife’s edge as you reluctantly nodded, not wanting this man to beat you again…

But you had your own plan…

“Now find em for me…” He muttered to you, as you shakily nodded and allowed him to take you outside to the satellite dish. The cold wind pierced through your thin clothes and made you shiver and throw your arms around you, but Koru wasn’t concerned as he put the headpiece on you so you can track the people like some kind of fucked-up Cerebro. “I want Bakugou and Midoriya…”

Koru gave you the order and you nodded through your shivering, closing your eyes as you searched throughout the country thanks to this satellite. Blocking out how cold you were to focus as hard as you could…

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becausetherearestars · 6 years ago

Text

Musings of Barty Crouch Jr.

Chapter Eleven of Lord Thanatos can be found here

Barty looked on in awe as his young Lord ripped into Malfoy. He loved watching his Lord work. The kid could talk his way out of or into anything and leave whoever his poor victim was thinking it was their own idea. It was fascinating to watch and he could barely contain his excitement as Malfoy, the idiot, pushed and pushed his Lord until he finally snapped.

Looking at Lucius now, he could tell the blonde’s tail would be between his legs for a while. Especially when Tom had a talk with him as he was doubtless to do.

“Where was I?” Hadrian asked the room in general, easing the tension that had been thick in the air from the moment he stood up.

“Your fourth year, my Lord,” Barty said, emphasising his formality despite having permission to address his Lord informally. He felt the situation called for it. It would send a clear message to Malfoy and Snape just who had his loyalty.

Barty released his protective hold on Luna when she moved to approach Hadrian again and watched the young Malfoy’s face as she sat on Hadrian’s lap. They fit perfectly together and young Draco seemed to think so too. The jealousy clearly written across his face. Barty hoped Hadrian gave up trying to respect the blonde’s boundaries soon because he really didn’t want to watch the boy spew hormones everywhere for the next two months. For his Lord’s sake as well as everyone who had to watch them.

“Thank you, Barty,” Hadrian said and Barty tried to hide the pride he felt at the compliment. The knowing look Hadrian gave him told him it didn’t work, Barty and all his Lord’s followers couldn’t help it. Their Lord was all kinds of perfect; physically, mentally and magically, and that he approved of them was awe-inspiring for them all.

“Fourth year was when I became who I am today. The triwizard tournament was completely insane, even more so when Dumbledore put my name in the Goblet of Fire. I shouldn’t have been surprised, really. Tom wasn’t going to do anything to me so Dumbledore had to make something happen yet again.” Hadrian rolled his eyes like it was nothing too terrible but Barty remembered that year. He remembered the fear his Lord tried so hard to hide from the masses. The ridicule he was subject to just because he was unwillingly entered into a competition meant for adults and the Prophet thought he was just vying for attention.

“Tom sent Barty to watch over me when he heard what was going on that year and we got to talking. He taught me a lot that year and I taught him a few things myself. Barty’s the main reason I survived the stupid competition and, because of that, he became my first marked follower.”

Barty smiled at that thought. He really was proud of his position in his Lord’s ranks. Though Neville might seem to be Hadrian’s right hand, Barty was there first and he had the complete trust and appreciation of his Lord. He had helped his Lord when no one else would, even before he had sworn his loyalty. He really did love Hadrian and would follow him through anything.

Barty remembered when Hadrian first approached him about his ‘get revenge on Dumbledore’ plan, the look of pure determination that shon out of Hadrian’s eyes had him captivated from the beginning. Hadrian was more determined than Barty had ever seen the Dark Lord and he had a sort of natural charisma that, even before his Creature Inheritance, rivaled that of a young Tom Riddle.

He could get anything he wanted with just a smile and his wide, innocent eyes. He managed to completely fool the entire world into thinking he was the epitome of light for six years. All that while being the most observed teenager in wizarding Britain and after dealing with his horrible childhood. Barty was proud of his Lord and was so thankful to Tom for allowing him to change his mark. It was the best decision he had ever made.

“Pettigrew had this stupidly insane thought that, if he portkeyed me to the Dark Lord he would be handsomely rewarded and I would end up dead. So he snuck into Hogwarts, charmed the triwizard cup into a portkey and, when Cedric and I took the cup, we were transported to the graveyard near Tom’s muggle relatives house. He has wards there that alert him to people trespassing on his land and ended up meeting us there. That wasn’t before the stupid rat came and killed poor Cedric.” Hadrian’s face was impassive, but Barty remembered how distraught his young Lord was at the death of his friend. Cedric was an unnecessary death and Lord Thanatos did not condone such a thing at the best of times, let alone when they’re possible followers.

“I’m still mad at him for that thoughtless mistake,” Tom said, his face expressing a little of the deep hatred Barty knew he felt for the rat animagus. “If you didn’t have plans for him Hades, I would have killed him years ago.”

“Thanks ever so much, Tom,” Hadrian flashed a grin at the Dark Lord. Barty was once again struck with the ease of the relationship between the two Lords. When he was first tasked with watching over Hadrian, Barty was sure the Dark Lord was just protecting an investment. But the longer he spoke to either of them, the more he realised Tom actually cared for Hadrian. Though he would never admit to something so plebeian as positive human emotions, Barty knew the Dark Lord would be glad to call Hadrian his son. He certainly put enough effort into keeping the kid alive.

“Tom and I talked for a bit, came up with a story and I went on my way back to Hogwarts with Cedric’s body. I told Dumbledore the truth; that Pettigrew portkeyed us to one of the Dark Lord’s bases in order to kill me. He killed Cedric as soon as we landed and I managed to hold Pettigrew off until I could get back to the Cup.” At the confused look the room was giving him, Hadrian chuckled a little.

“Dumbledore took that to mean that Tom was back and proceeded to tell everyone that I had this epic battle with him. He’s been telling everyone he could for two years and Tom’s just been sitting back watching him destroy his own reputation, so something good came of it all, I guess”

Tom snorted and raised his refilled glass in Hadrian’s direction. “You did well my dear, keeping him occupied while we began our overthrow of his Light world.” Barty could heart the contempt in Tom’s voice as he talked about the Light side and agreed with it. Dumbledore needed to be taken down and that was exactly what his Lord was trying to do.

“I marked Barty at the end of that year. Tom was generous enough to remove his Dark Mark, as long as I replaced it.” Hadrian gestured to Barty and he lifted the sleeve on his left arm revealing the mark of Lord Thanatos. The outline of a howling wolf looked up at a full moon. Inside the moon, the symbol of the Deathly Hallows was present, the line of the Elder Wand replaced with a flaming Phoenix feather. It was in a different place for each of Hadrian’s followers but Barty’s took the place of the Dark Mark, running up the inside of his left arm.

There were gasps from the three who had never seen it before and Barty felt immensely proud to bare the beautiful mark of his Lord.

“How many have you marked?” Snape asked and Barty watched as Hadrian’s eyes assessed the Potions Master critically. Clearly wondering whether to trust the Professor with this knowledge. It was fair to be critical, Barty thought, Snape was a spy after all. He had expressed concern over the wellbeing of Hadrian more than once over the last few days but he was in the most precarious position a person could be in this war. Except, of course, Hadrian himself.

“A few, Severus,” Hadrian finally replied, sending a small smile to the man when he glared at Hadrian for the vague answer. “Most of the DA is now marked by me, if you must know. Those loyal to Dumbledore, Weasley and Granger were left in the dark but everyone else has turned to our cause. A few have graduated, a few Order members and I have a few in my sights for this year.”

Snape had an impressed look on his face as he regarded Hadrian. Barty knew the feeling. For someone as young as Hadrian, he had an impressive number of people willing to follow his every word. Willing to take up his cause and serve under him for as long as he lives. Which, considering what he is, is a very long time. Barty knew he had done the right thing in pledging his loyalty to Hadrian Peverell. He would win this war, creating a better, safer world for all magical beings. Barty couldn’t wait to see it.

#lord thanatos #lord voldemort #Harry Potter #luna x harry #harry x draco #Draco Malfoy #Luna Lovegood #barty crouch jr #severus snape #lucius malfoy #dark harry #fanfiction #my fanfiction

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neuxue · 6 years ago

Note

Any thoughs about how thing would have developed if Asmondean hadent diead? And just stuck around with Rand througout the serie? Particulary with the cleansing of the source

I have so many thoughts. He was taken too soon and there were so many possibilities but he had to go and die at just the moment when those possibilities started opening up and there aren’t many things I’d accuse Jordan of being lazy with or taking the easy way out on but this is top of both lists.

(Well, okay, it’s maybe tied with his habit of dropping walls or buildings on characters to keep them from running off when he needs them to stay where he put them but that’s beside the point).

This is another one that I have outlined fic for, which I’ll probably write once I’ve finished the series. I have been reliably informed, though, that there already is some ‘Asmodean Lives AU’ fic out there - I know @elan-morin-tedronai has written some (which I haven’t actually read but based on his non-WoT stuff I’ve read I’m sure it’s good), and I think others have as well. I know I’ll be diving right in once I’m finished reading the series.

Because yeah. Asmodean. SO MANY POSSIBILITIES, CUT SO CRUELLY SHORT.

The thing with Asmodean is that his personality and position would make him a fascinating character to work with from both an ‘internal’ and ‘external’ standpoint - that is, to see how his own thoughts and loyalties and choices and mindset change, but also to see how he is used by those around him. He makes a very good pawn, in terms of his placement in the story. Both would be interesting, especially if his internal and external stories end up in conflict with one another.

It could go several ways. There’s the ‘no one can walk so long in the Shadow’ route, which we haven’t really seen much of since…wow. Ingtar. I’d love to see more of that, and Asmodean would have been such an excellent character to do that with - a redemption that begins unwillingly, proceeds because Asmodean has no other option and so is not making a moral choice but a survival one, and then eventually becomes…something else. Desperation to pragmatism to hope to belief.

There’s of course also the necessary betrayal option, wherein Asmodean is not killed but captured at the end of TFoH and…incentivised…to double-cross Rand. That could get interesting fast, especially if combined with his own feelings towards Light and Shadow shifting, as above. (Or maybe this is just my bias for betrayals that are exceedingly painful on all sides showing…it’s a thing, okay?). Maybe the pragmatic option then is to betray Rand - either by remaining with him but working against him, or else disappearing and working with one of the other Chosen, because now he believes that is his only option in the immediate circumstances…but left thinking about Rand, wondering about this man who seemed almost to trust him, wondering at Rand’s own desperate determination that is so different to the arrogant doomed certainty he once saw in Lews Therin, wondering if maybe… but having to work against him, except now perhaps unwillingly. There’s a recipe for just my kind of inner turmoil and overall tragic betrayal situation right there.

Or maybe none of the Chosen come for him at the end of TFoH, and Rand sends him to train the Asha’man at the Black Tower, either alongside or instead of Taim (and there’s another interesting potential change - what does Taim’s story become, then? Is he sent to the Black Tower in a different capacity, or to help Asmodean train the recruits, or does Rand use him in a different way, more the way he uses Logain? Or something else entirely?), and either betrays Rand there or else doesn’t, and is there at Dumai’s Wells and wonders if it even matters what side he’s on. Or hears Rand say he’s going to cleanse saidin and knows he must remain on Rand’s side for this because otherwise he is as doomed as the rest, severed from the Dark One’s protection. He would face the other Chosen, then, in the battle of the cleansing. Would he still be shielded? Could he survive it?

(Would he have been there, too, when Rand rained lighting on friend and foe alike at Ebou Dar? Would he have wondered once again if it mattered at all which side he tied his hopes to? If there was even a difference? Or would he have been elsewhere - would Rand have trusted him elsewhere?)

I also think, oddly enough, he could have been one of the few characters who may have helped Rand hold on a little longer to himself. He had a gift for suiting his music to a mood - either to match it or to modulate it. And at Rand’s side he would be a reminder of so much: a cautionary tale of the depths to which one can fall; a mirror held up against Rand’s own fears for himself, so that he could have another line to draw and something by which to measure it; a confidant, oddly enough, because he’s tied so absolutely; someone who cannot or at least likely would not judge Rand for his harsher actions and more difficult choices. Or even a reminder that redemption is possible.

Anyway, give me any sort of fraught enemies-to-allies redemption or betrayal arc…but no, instead he has to go and DIE and so instead we turn to fic.

#FOREVER DISAPPOINTED #he was taken too soon #give me my sad harpist back #asks #lycoris19 #wheel of time #asmodean

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blade-revolutions · 6 years ago

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Kai x Lyla first kiss scene (short version)

Due to studying of uni entrance exams, I haven’t written in a long while so I finally had time to sit down and write a bit - even if the piece is truly short.

The events take place in my Beyblade AU which is supernatural / magic powers themed. Both characters are 15.

Darkness.

Lyla Hart can’t seem to be able to see anything past it. Truthfully, she isn’t sure if there could be anything else except for it.

Voices scream, desperate for help, for any sign of humanity. Flames are scattered everywhere.

How could they?

Firstly they sacrificed their own teammates for more glory, more power. Then they burned them, turning their bodies into ash.

The cries of pain and agony echo in Lyla’s ears and she stills. She can’t see the river anymore, or hear the soothing flow of the water as it carries on. The night sky dotted with stars is replaced by the terrifying sight of James and Marcus, a fire is surrounding their whole being. She’s rendered speechless, her body frozen in spot as her mind replays yesterday’s events. She sees the boys breathing harshly, coughing, their skin glistening with sweat due to the unbearable heat. She hears their shouts vividly, their pleas when James says they won’t loose again.

A new gang arrived in town two weeks ago. Rumours began spreading they were the strongest team of the capital and had returned from worldwide competitions abroad. She recalls Hilary’s expression, half-doubtful, half-mocking.

“Just what kind of competitions?” she put her glasses down and arched her brow in disbelief. “As far as I know, no one’s heard of them.”

“Well, we had been out of town for quite a while.” Lyla admits and stares at Hilary expectantly for her response. Both of them were agitated by the appearance of a new group out of nowhere - which proclaimed to be the best in the entire capital.

“Please.” Hilary dismisses her and takes a ship of her tea. “Claiming they’re the best when we’ve never encountered them - not only we, but anyone is suspicious alone. It’d be foolish to believe such claims. We’re not eight.”

Lyla sits on her bed, folding her legs underneath her. She held the urge of sighing pleasantly because her bed is so warm and nothing can be as good as coming back to the comfort of your own bed. “Although that’s true, we’ve lost track of everything. We’ll have to gather more information as soon as possible. Don’t want them running to Kai and Johnny.”

“Tala, Julia and Ian are already on it. Apparently, this supposed gang loves the survival kind of team contests. They are already advertising themselves by placing posters in the city to grab the citizens’ attention for the upcoming tournament. And for the Kai and Johnny part, I definitely agree. They won’t want to know how the boys react to those to who pull the superior act when in reality they’re not.

Lyla is amused by Hilary’s words and the way she views the situation. To think the girl actually encouraged the idea of the boys putting some people in their rightful places entertained her to no end, considering Hilary would scold them for being hot-headed and a bunch of idiots with super powers.

“Wait till Tyson is added to the mix.”

Hilary catches her best friend’s glance and a laugh escaped her throat. “ For once, I’d be looking forward to it.”

She’s been a fire fairy for the past two years and she always perceived magic as the purest form of art and self-expression so when she had a taste of how destructive it could be, something inside her shattered.

Is magic truly evil?

She wants to stay alone and think, to find her sanity and her lost positivity. However that plan is proved to be a major failure when footsteps approach her from behind.

Lyla doesn’t have to turn around. She knows it’s him.

“How long are you gonna stay here like this?”

She merely rolls her eyes. Kai is as critical as usual, he just picked the wrong time for it. Lyla’s grip around her knees tightens and she buries her nose on the top of her knees to prevent the cold air from seeping in and to the rest of her face, despite the fact her attempts are futile.

“Ignoring me won’t make me leave.”

Oh he couldn’t hold himself back from being an ass! Not all hours are the same and Lyla is reluctant to put up with him.

“We’ll do everything to win next time.”

Next time. Heck they knew there wouldn’t be a next time and they still tried. They were willing to do everything, they could do everything. Out of the five, Marcus and James were the only ones with a heart and real potential to become better. Yet, death decided it was time to take away whatever good that gang had. Them.

A tear cascades her cheek. It was unfair, it still is unfair. They didn’t deserve any of this.

“You’ll have to leave sometime, Lyla.” Kai huffs.

Can’t. He. Just. Shut. Up?!

“I don’t remember having a babysitter surrounding me.” She tries to retort with a steady voice but it wavers slightly as she reached the end. Hiwatari is starting to get on her nerves and she can’t even stand on a verbal fight with him. So great.

“You know I’m not but what I said before was right. We have to go.”

She despises his ability to go from hot to cold the next moment. She often wonders why he doesn’t want to pursue being actor. Kai has perfected the technique of raising the brow - Lyla’s sure he has spent hours in front of a mirror practicing it, otherwise, he’s not normal - and since honey drips from his lips whenever he speaks, he’d be beyond perfect for any role of bad guy.

“You’re not always right.”

Kai’s mouth stays agape briefly, staring at Lyla’s back stunned. Where did that come from?

“I didn’t say I’m always right.”

“But you definitely act like it.”

He presses his lips firmly shut. She is definitely bothered by something and that’s enough to push Kai’s ego back slightly. He remains silent before making another try and convince her it’s time to get home.

“It’s getting cold out here.”

Lyla doesn’t respond immediately. The thought of ignoring him till he gets bored and leaves is too appealing. But Kai won’t let her get away easily.

“I like the cold.” She replies stubbornly.

“No you don’t. You like spring.”

“And you don’t like summer.”

“I don’t like a lot of things.”

“But you definitely enjoy getting on people’s nerves at the wrong at time.”

Kai chuckles. He wishes he could see her face since Lyla’s cheeks tend to get covered with a soft red whenever they get into an argument - something that doesn’t happen often to his surprise.

Upon hearing him hold back his laughter, Lyla turns her head abruptly. Kai sees the tears on her cheeks and whatever comeback he has come up with dies on his throat. What can possibly has shaken her this much?

Then a thought crosses his mind.

It’s swift and he could have missed it...but he’s positive that this could be exactly it.

He pushes his hands deep into the pockets of his hoodie, his eyes looking anywhere but her as one thought brings the other. Lyla takes a moment to trace his features; a part of his neck is exposed since Hiwatari isn’t fond of scarves along with hoodies and her toes curl unwillingly. She can’t deny she doesn’t like his neck. She really does and often wonders how it’d be to taste it. Then again she’s fifteen and shouldn’t accuse Kai of having a dirty mind. Hers isn’t any better.

Her eyes travel higher, to his rosy lips and soft breaths against the cold, to his mesmerizing purple eyes and red-tinted nose and to his slate blue hair which is pushed back into his black beanie. There’s a softness about him at seeing his face this vulnerable, free from the bangs that hide it from the rest of the world.

Her heart clenches.

“Kai?” She asks hesitantly.

“Yeah?”

“Do you think magic is evil?”

Kai ponders the thought for a minute. Afterwards, “No. I don’t think it’s evil at all. It depends on how you choose to use it, the purpose you have.”

More tears roll down her cheeks and realization dawns upon her; she can’t stop them from flowing. She can’t bury the pain anymore.

“That’s what I believe too but whenever I do, there’s the haunting image of Marcus and James, their unfair fate, how they deserved better and how they were always the best ones at heart from their group. They could be developed so much more, they could be everything the rest of their teammates would never be. They were kind and no one recognised that in them. People viewed them as the weakest members of the gang and all of that because of one loss at a match One fucking loss.” her sobs have made her voice lower. She doesn’t mind the tears because Kai knows. He knows her well enough. “I’m tired. I feel like breaking. I-I don’t think I’ll be able to use magic for a while after this. I don’t think -

Her eyes fly wide open when Kai’s face comes too close for her comfort to hers and the next thing she knows is his lips on hers. For a heartbeat her brain is preoccupied by the fact this is not a dream, that she’s not in her bed fantasizing how kissing Kai Hiwatari would feel like since her crush on him only got stronger the longer she got the chance to know him better and spend time with him.

She lets her eyes close and sinks in. Lyla moves her hands from her sides to Kai’s neck and intertwines her fingers there, bringing them closer. She’s surprised when she notices his hands have come around to secure her waste, making her forget everything and her heart almost explodes at the feeling of his thumb, smooth on her cold skin as he wipes away slowly her tear.

How someone so distant can be so soft?

She doesn’t have time to process the thought. He pulls away and heat rushes on her face.

Holy shit, it did happen.

Then another thought occurs. Why did he kiss her? To offer comfort? To stop her from babbling while crying her heart out?

“Why did you - “ her breath hitches on her throat and she swallows to calm her nerves. “Why did you do that?”

A small smile flickers on Kai’s lips and Lyla wishes to see that more often “Because I wanted to.” Her head shoots up from the ground to stare at him astonished.

“And because you seemed to lose your self.” he mumbles softly.

A grin lights up her face. She’s supposed to not lose her spirit, even if the world around her collapses.

“Come on. Let’s go home. The guys will be worried.”

She nods and paces quicker to reach him, thanking God for making Kai a part of her life that reminds her she’s much stronger than she thinks.

#beyblade fanfiction #kai x lyla

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cabbagiez · 6 years ago

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“Extremely detailed character sheet template”

Character Chart

Character’s full name: Donovan Keegan Soule (He no longer remembers this) Reason or meaning of name: Donovan means dark- which his hair (and eyes) are/once were, keegan means firey (which he decidedly is), and soule is, well, meant to represent his connection to death. Character’s nickname: Don, formally Project Siren Reason for nickname: Don is easier to say than Donovan- he likely adopted it after the children he’s raised began using it, and Project Siren is the name of the experiment he took part in unwillingly. Birth date: Unknown, some time in the 30s Physical appearance Age: In his late 80s How old does he/she appear: Around 21-22 Weight: Unknown- rather high Height: Unknown, at least 6′0 Body build: Bulky Shape of face: Rather narrow Eye color: Green, with black schelra Glasses or contacts: Sunglasses Skin tone: Porcelain white- formerly quite tan Distinguishing marks: Cracks that glow green and cover the majority of his skin, various scars, a summoning symbol in the middle of his chest covered by a tattoo of the night sky Predominant features: His height, muscles, and scars Hair color: Black, with green streaks- they are not dyed, and do not fade Type of hair: thin, straight Hairstyle: Spiked up- either naturally or gelled Voice: Deep, with a hypnotic quality to it, somewhat like a siren’s Overall attractiveness: Fairly high Physical disabilities: None that he is aware of Usual fashion of dress: Casual, with a bit of a rebellious edge Favorite outfit: Ripped jeans, a white t-shirt and a black leather jacket, with sunglasses of course. Jewelry or accessories: Earrings every so often, sometimes necklaces. He doesn’t have many of these Personality Good personality traits: Sense of humor, comforting and understanding- generally quite nice as long as you are nice to him Bad personality traits: Quick to anger, often sarcastic when it’s not the right time, overreacts often, often doesn’t change his behavior unless told multiple times to do so Mood character is most often in: Happiness, or mild irritation Sense of humor: Dark and sarcastic, even in the worst times Character’s greatest joy in life: Spending time with his friends and “family,” leaving the house Character’s greatest fear: Being weak again, being unable to help if one of his friends is in mortal danger Why? Both of these happened in his life- the Project Siren experiments traumatized him deeply, and during that time one of the few people he knew that cared for him like a human died due to events out of his control- but both of them were aware of What single event would most throw this character’s life into complete turmoil? It technically already happened- Him being hired by Becile Industries- and all of his memories of his past before then being completely wiped as he was forced into an experiment. Character is most at ease when: He is away from his workplace, and with friends Most ill at ease when: He is at his workplace, and is forced to confront his boss’s father Enraged when: His friends are put in danger- especially if by those he already hates Depressed or sad when: He is completely alone, or otherwise disconnected from others- along with when he is physically weak Priorities: His friends, his “family,” his boss, himself Life philosophy: It’s all going to hell anyway, why not have a bit of fun? If granted one wish, it would be: For all of his memories of his past to be returned. Why? Even if all of his family is gone- he wants to remember who he knew, before he worked for Becile Industries. He doesn’t want to feel like he is a lone entity Character’s soft spot: His friends, robots, and children Is this soft spot obvious to others? Definitely Greatest strength: His physical strength, and his voice Greatest vulnerability or weakness: He hates being called “weak,” and most magic can actively take him down easily Biggest regret: Not trying harder to stop Gary- even if it was out of his control. Minor regret: Not getting ice cream last week. He doesn’t regret all that much Biggest accomplishment: Recovering after all those experiments Minor accomplishment: Actually surviving growing wings without screaming. Past failures he/she would be embarrassed to have people know about: When he somehow managed to get his head stuck in a beaker- no one knows how he did it. Why? It’s just plain weird. Character’s darkest secret: He has murdered several people- enough to make him wanted, had it not been covered up. Either against his will or by choice- he hasn’t told that part. Does anyone else know? Only Phobus, and Ignatius and Buster Becile Goals Drives and motivations: Survival, and his “family” and friends Immediate goals: Survive the next day Long term goals: Be a decent employee, help his friends make a better life How the character plans to accomplish these goals: Work as hard as he can, and try to be a better person How other characters will be affected: Hopefully for the better! Past Hometown: He doesn’t recall- but likely a town near San Diego Type of childhood: A good one, despite him growing up during the Great Depression. Pets: Any animals he found in the wilderness First memory: He doesn’t recall it anymore, but his first memory was of his mother singing to him, then laughing as he just covered her mouth suddenly Most important childhood memory: He doesn’t know- probably something with his family, but he has no recollection. Why: No reason, on account of the absence of a memory. Childhood hero: He doesn’t recall Dream job: A science position- which he technically got Education: Only the mandatory schooling- kindergarten to twelfth grade Religion: None Finances: Poor, to say the least Present Current location: San Diego, California Currently living with: His boss, and what few employees are left, his former boss, and his best friend Phobus Pets: None Religion: None Occupation: Becile Worker Finances: Fairly well off- his employer takes care of all his expenses Family Mother: He can’t remember Relationship with her: He hopes it was good- but his “disappearance” probably made it strained Father: He can’t remember Relationship with him: He hopes it was good as well, but something tells him it would have become strained even if he hadn’t “vanished” Siblings: He can’t remember Relationship with them: Once again, he hopes it was good Spouse: None Relationship with him/her: n/a Children: Only one, he doesn’t know their name Relationship with them: Estranged, considering he never knew them Other important family members: None Favorites Color: Green, ironically Least favorite color: He doesn’t have one Music: Anything that Ignatius doesn’t like. So mostly heavy metal Food: Anything that isn’t the regulation meals provided by Becile Industries Literature: Anything that aren’t the regulation reading materials provided by Becile Industries. Form of entertainment: Books, and movies, and the radio Expressions: somewhat outdated ones usually- he has a tendancy to say “oh geez” multiple times as well Mode of transportation: On foot, flying, or in a car Most prized possession: Anything given to him by Gary, and any remnant of his old life that he still has. Habits Hobbies: Reading, spending time on the internet, avoiding his work Plays a musical instrument? No Plays a sport? No How he/she would spend a rainy day: Reading, going out in it, spending time with his friends Spending habits: He usually spends faaar too much on his friends- otherwise they’re fairly alright Smokes: Only sometimes- he has mostly quit Drinks: Often, socially. Other drugs: None What does he/she do too much of? Avoiding work, avoiding his own needs to care for others What does he/she do too little of? Paying attention to his own needs, self-care Extremely skilled at: Science, engineering, getting out of tough situations Extremely unskilled at: Not getting hurt, cooking, keeping out of tough situations Nervous tics: Rubbing his neck, picking at his skin, running his hands through his hair Usual body posture: Stiff and straight, or periodically slumped over a desk Mannerisms: Rubbing at his skin, scratching his neck Peculiarities: Rocking back and fourth Traits Optimist or pessimist? Introvert or extrovert? Daredevil or cautious? Logical or emotional? Disorderly and messy or methodical and neat? Prefers working or relaxing? Confident or unsure of himself/herself? Animal lover? Yes Self-perception How he/she feels about himself/herself: He likes himself a lot- aside from his perceived “weakness” during the experiments One word the character would use to describe self: Strong One paragraph description of how the character would describe self: “I guess I’m strong. A man of character- Fabulously gay, and a good person all in all... Wait, how long’s a paragraph again?” What does the character consider his/her best personality trait? His bravery What does the character consider his/her worst personality trait? How indecisive he can be What does the character consider his/her best physical characteristic? His strength What does the character consider his/her worst physical characteristic? his skin How does the character think others perceive him/her: as a good person- hopefully, at least. What would the character most like to change about himself/herself: Some of his appearence, and what he thinks is his “weakness” Relationships with others Opinion of other people in general: Good, until they prove themselves otherwise Does the character hide his/her true opinions and emotions from others? Not often Person character most hates: Ignatius Becile Best friend(s): Phobus, Asmah, and Zoe Love interest(s): Phobus, though it’s only a crush Person character goes to for advice: Phobus, and Asmah Person character feels responsible for or takes care of: Asmah, Zoe, Buster and Vivian Becile Person character feels shy or awkward around: No one Person character openly admires: Phobus Person character secretly admires: Phobus Most important person in character’s life before story starts: Phobus After story starts: Phobus (still) and Zoe

#Experimental Rage: Donovan #god that took forever #it was fun though

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coffee-for-himchan · 7 years ago

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Not On My Watch (Yongguk mafia/gang AU pt.2)

Word count: 8.2 k+

Genre/warnings: Mafia/gang AU (does contain swearing and violence, and the regular mafia stuff. This won’t really be all cute and fluffy it’s quite the opposite tbh but hey, the ending’s nice at least)

Summary: It had already happened once, and you prayed to God it wouldn’t happen again. You’d already been captured and locked up, having to serve a man you hated with a burning passion. Having to say goodbye to the outside world, and having to part from Yongguk because no one knew where you went and vanished, not being able to help you in any way. A lucky coincidence had brought you back to Yongguk, and now when the right time had come around the corner, he was more than ready to finish what had to be finished off as soon as possible. The man you feared oh so much had just appeared on the scene again, and this time Yongguk swore to take proper care of him. And make it eternal.

THIS IS PART 2 // PART 1 IS HERE

He kissed you softly, without any fear or consequence in mind. After all, if this was indeed all you both desired at that moment, why hold back if you could let utter pleasure take over your bodies instead?

Oh, yeah. Because you were far from knowing the truth, and he was afraid you’d leave if he told you.

“Yongguk-ah,” you’d barely pulled away when you spoke quietly, and he gave you a questioning hum in return, not daring to let go of you just yet. Your days in his arms were numbered anyways, and he would eventually have to let go of you, so he held on while he still could.

He’d have to let you off to wander your own path in life, one that didn’t include or feature him in any way. One that kept you far away from him, because he brought nothing but pain everywhere he went. Because you’d never be completely happy or safe by his side.

Because he was a newfound mafia leader, and you were nothing but a girl with beautiful, sad eyes, a broken past and a heart that always kept the vacancy of it’s rightful owner free just for him, and no one else. And despite all that, he couldn’t possibly have you without making you suffer, so he tried to stay back.

“I think I really like you,” your words sent shivers down his spine as he smiled a sad smile in return, taking in how utterly pleasant it was to hear something like that being said softly right to his face.

“Well, you’re the first to ever do so. No one else thinks there’s anything likable about me.”

He felt you gripping on the front of his shirt, and felt his heartbeat slightly increase. He wasn’t the buffest one. In fact, his frame looked quite skinny and fragile, but at that moment he understood how much stronger he was than you. How dependent you’d be on him if you’d ever become a permanent part of his life. How he wanted to make sure you were alright, and how he wanted to take care of you if you ever got in any type of trouble.

“Then let me do it properly, since I’m the only one smart enough to look past the facade.”

The facade. Yes, even people who didn’t know his lifestyle still feared him for the way he was. Quiet and on most occasions untalkative. Walking slowly and hanging his head down low to seemingly disappear from the masses of people he unwillingly had to sometimes encounter. His gaze was sharp and displayed danger, yet you were one of the few who was able to look past it and see who he truly was.

After all, you’d met in a quite cliché and absurd way - while saving a kitten. And if a guy like him stops on the street when he sees you frantically trying to reach something from the gutter and asks if you need any help, he can’t be the worst kind. He can’t be the worst kind if after pulling out the half-alive animal he carefully holds it in his hands, and goes with you to bring it to the right people just on time for it to survive. And what makes him the least worst of all is how he made sure to take care of it first, but not leave you out either, because you were clearly shook up after the incident, having forgotten all your plans for the day.

Because the ones who hadn’t done anything bad didn’t deserve a bad ending. Not even a kitten.

“The facade?”

“What else? You’re the nicest, most honest person I’ve ever met. And if people can’t see that, well, their loss.”

He smiled. Hearing sweet words from someone as beautiful on the inside and outside as you was such a new, unusual yet pleasant feeling. No one’s ever told him compliments. And no one’s ever blindly told him that he’s a good person.

“(Y/N)? Are you really sure about this?” his hand rose up to point in between both of you, and you didn’t hesitate even a second to give him a little positive nod.

“Good. Because I think I really like you too, and just to be sure, we should live and see,” he smiled a warm smile and sank his lips back into yours. The most pleasant feeling he’d ever felt.

* * * * *

You wandered around the base with folded up arms, holding tightly onto the sleeves of your sweater. Everyone had gone away for a while now for safety reasons, and you were left alone. Alone and unprotected, but at least in a place that could be considered a safe zone. You tried your best not to worry, yet suddenly had a bunch of doubts creeping into your head. It was your problem after all, but over time it had become Yongguk’s problem as well. And whatever was his concern, automatically became the concern of the other five members of B.A.P as well, and knowing they were all on your side made you try your best to calm down and convince yourself everything would be fine.

Yongguk’s absence was the thing that bothered you the most. Upon arriving here, he waved the other guys away and showed you around. He lead you into the room where he and Himchan stayed whenever one or both of them were sleeping here instead of home, and upon making sure you were all set up and fine for the next few hours, turned around to leave.

“Where are you going?!”

He stopped at the door, and turned around to face you. With your eyes indicating you were on the edge of tears, he couldn’t help but blame himself a little. Too bad he couldn’t stay here and serve as support.

“I’m going to see what I can do about this whole mess,” Yongguk, in fact, had no clue on where to start or what to do. All he knew was that he’d eventually have to do something. Something to make it a safe world for you again. He turned around once again, and put his hand on the doorknob, about to open the door.

“Yongguk-ah!” he heard your desperate cry, and it took only seconds to feel your body pressing lightly against his from behind, your arms finding their desired route to wrap around his waist immediately.

“Don’t go.”

He froze in his tracks, not really able to move or do anything. After all, how could he leave you if you were clenching onto him for dear life, your sobs filling up the otherwise empty room as you buried your face deeper into his shirt. You weren’t just afraid for yourself and for your future - you feared the fact he could get hurt. You wanted him to stay so he wouldn’t be able to have any harm done towards him, but your begging was of no use. He couldn’t simply stay.

“I have to go, baby,” it took him a little longer to respond, and he turned in your arms, soothingly putting one hand on your hip as the other one reached to tilt your head upwards.

Tear-strained cheeks was such a devastatingly beautiful look on you. And so were trembling lips, he figured.

“I have to go and deal with this the right way. So he won’t be able to bother you or myself ever again. So he won’t hurt you again.”

“Then can you promise me you won’t get hurt?”

Silence filled the room and he sighed. He might have lived his life not exactly the way he intended to at first, but there was still a thing he hadn’t become over the years. He was a killer. He was a former leader. But he wasn’t a liar.

You knew the answer more than well, and he did too, yet hesitation filled the air before two words quietly left his mouth.

“I can’t,” he quietly said, looking you straight in the eyes, “But I will try my best to prevent it. And the guys will always have my back.”

He had no other choice than to leave you teary-eyed and crying in the middle of the room, giving you a quick kiss before disappearing from your sight completely for a while. You heard muffled voices in the hallway and the main room, but nothing really mattered. Leaning against the door, you ran a shaky hand through your hair and exhaled loudly.

He knew what he was doing. And if he didn’t, Himchan would know. And if Himchan would know but wouldn’t be able to put it into words, Youngjae would help. If Youngjae would need time to think, Jongup would gladly and with a smile plastered all over his face help out by holding the enemy back and wrecking mad havoc. And if he wouldn’t be able to do it on his own, Junhong would join, always keeping Daehyun on distraction and backup duty.

They were a team, but not just any team - they were B.A.P. And they would manage.

Left alone and worried, you couldn’t find a way to calm yourself. They were a team, and you’d just even managed to make a little chain on how they could deal with their problems. But what if a part of the chain suddenly got decapitated? What if Jongup didn’t aim properly, or Himchan’s head would be just as empty as Yongguk’s when it came to thinking of how to handle a situation? It wouldn’t end well in that case, you were certain.

But what concerned you the most is that it was Minjae who they were about to go against. The person who’d completely wrecked your life before Yongguk came along to fix it. To fix it and fix you.

You recalled it clearly - in more detail than you’d like to. You were alone in this city, not having any close people in your life around except of Yongguk. And, being left with only him by your side, meet-ups had become a regular thing.

It was a quiet evening, and you were standing there, waiting for him. Happily shifting from one foot to the other, you looked over to your left and wandered closer to that side of the pavement, leaning over the railings and exhaling as you looked into the distance.

It was a spot he’d showed you on one of your first dates, and the most beautiful place in this city, or so you thought at least. He walked past it back then, barely paying any attention to it, but once he saw how your eyes sparkled after seeing the mesmerizing view, he told you to meet him there now every single time you went out and he wasn’t there to pick you up on his motorbike.

You still laughed at the motorbike from time to time. You’d seen his beloved scooter, and even though it was quite funny but cool and cute to some extent, he still made the efforts to come off as a cool guy, driving around on the motorbike and trying to throw away his grandpa tempo just for you instead.

There were footsteps behind you, and you were prepared for the usual. For the “hey, babe” in his melodic, low voice, for the tight hug from behind. You were more than ready for the little stolen kisses and the immediate shyness that would follow, accompanied by a gummy smile. Ready for all you’d been gifted with in the past half a year, after another half a year of awkward stares and confessions hanging on the tip of your tongues but never being said out loud beforehand.

You were ready to meet the guy you’d completely fallen in love with - your one and only, Yongguk.

“Hey, pretty face.”

Your body froze at hearing the voice, and you turned your head to see the source of it. A tall, lean figure was standing in front of you, smiling a smug smile and giving you a disgusting wink.

That wasn’t Yongguk.

“What’s such a beautiful lady doing here all by herself?” he tried to sound all charming and sweet, but his tone seemed rather disgusting to you.

“Now, now, babe. Don’t give me the silent treatment. I just want to entertain you, maybe even make you less lonely,” you’d turned your head back to face the beautiful view, and gasped as you felt his voice next to your ear and his hand on your hip, trailing to rest on your butt within seconds.

“Get away,” you said, moving sharply to the side and letting his hand slide off, “I’m waiting for someone.”

“Your boyfriend, perhaps?”

“Exactly,” you hissed, feeling all alarms going off inside of you at an alarming rate. Yongguk had to be here in just a few minutes. He was never late. You just had to hold on for a little longer, and he’d be there to give this guy a piece of his mind, in a calm and reserved fashion. Because that’s who he was - a guy who was against violence, but one who knew how to swing fists if there was the absolute need to do so.

“Well looks like he’ll come around just to find you already gone.”

You weren’t able to respond when you suddenly felt his hand clasp over your mouth, drowning out all of your muffled screams for help.

“You see, sweetheart,” he cooed next to your ear, pinning your frame tightly to his, “You’re nothing but a bitch if you leave your guy for another one like this, even if he’s a much better one. But you’re lucky I have nothing against bitches.”

“Yongguk-ah, please come faster,” your mind kept screaming as you struggled against his tight grip, but were unable to get free.

“What a brave one. Still hoping for rescue?” he chuckled as you were about to try and scream out one more time, when you suddenly felt a sharp pain in your neck that made tears well up in your eyes. An injection.

“Now you’ll stay silent and obey, just like you’re supposed to do,” his grip loosened, and you thought this might be your chance to run. But as you tried to move, your knees were giving out and your head felt heavy, pulling you to the ground to eventually collapse right in front of him, holding a hand at your neck and desperately trying to keep your eyes open.

“That’s right. Now let me take over, babe, and I’ll treat you the way you deserve to be treated.”

Yongguk was exactly on time for your date, but happened to be one minute forty three seconds too late to still catch a glimpse of you lying unconscious on the ground before the guy managed to scoop you up in his arms and flee with you from the scene, quickly making his way out through tiny, dimly lit streets where he couldn’t be spotted.

You woke up the next morning, or you supposed it was the next morning, at least. Your neck was still aching, and, as you strolled through the unfamiliar apartment, you found out you were alone.

The door was locked, and couldn’t be opened at any cost. Looking out of the window, you realized you must’ve been at least on the ninth floor, so fleeing through the window was impossible. You simply had to wait around and let faith decide.

The door creaked open only late at night, revealing a silhouette of the guy from the previous night standing in the middle of the doorway. A triumphal smirk was plastered on his face as he stepped into the bedroom just to see you curled up on bed with tear-strained cheeks.

“What a bitch. Didn’t you have a boyfriend?” he stepped forward, letting you know about his presence and chuckling as your frame jolted up with fear, scooting over to the other end of the bed.

“Didn’t mama teach you not to sleep around in other guy’s beds if you already have a boyfriend?”

He sat down beside you, eyeing you up and down. The moonlight was the only light source in the room, and it took you a while to notice he was basically dripping with blood. Blood that wasn’t his.

“Minjae is my name. I know yours already, so no need for introduction,” his hand reached for you, but stopped right before your face at the impact of your slap. He raised a brow in surprise, eyeing you up and down before smirking.

“Is this really how you feel, babe?” the word “babe” sounded so wrong when he said it, and you felt tears starting to form in your eyes at the sound of it.

“I’m not your babe. Now let me go.”

“Too bad you’re feeling this way, babe,” he said, suddenly moving and gripping a handful of your hair, yanking you towards him and making you cry out in pain.

“Because you’re going to be my babe if I order you to be. Or otherwise consider your pathetic life not worth sparing,” he tilted his head to the side, and chuckled as he saw the first tears sliding down your cheeks.

“And oh, I’ll definitely make sure you’ll give me all I need,” he said, leaning in and yanking you closer as he felt you pulling your face away, “Because, if I said so, it’s going to be that way. And now, be a good bitch and show me how little you care about your boyfriend. Be as good to me as you were to him, and I might reward you with the ability to breathe for the next 24 hours until you’ll have to prove yourself again in some way.”

He forcefully pulled you into a kiss, blocking out all of your attempts to refuse and try to break free. He was much too rough and his kiss alone hurt immensely, alongside with his tight grip that refused to let you go anywhere. He tasted like cigarettes, and smelled of blood, which almost made you gag. And, when he’d finally had his way with you, he threw you back on the bed with a force that almost made you hit your head on the bed frame, smirking down on you before he got up.

“Look at this whole mess I’ve dragged myself into, by the way. Ahh, so much blood..” he traced his hand over his jacket and showed you the red liquid sticking to it, “Be sure to clean all of this up. And don’t mess it up, this is my favorite shirt and I don’t intend to forgive any mistakes easily.”

With tears in your eyes, you had nothing left than to obey.

Days passed, and there seemed to be no way of escaping this hell you were forced to go through. Most of your days were spent on the floor crying, because you refused to climb into his bed when you weren’t forcefully made to sleep in it. You had to obey every single word, and had to do as told, otherwise he would not spare a single thought on trying to keep you alive, as that had been shown and proved on various occasions more than clearly. He’d call you all types of bad names, and would make sure he’d make you consider if life was even worth living in these conditions. He thought causing physical pain was nice practice as well, and didn’t hesitate to show you his strength whenever you did something wrong, just to afterwards seemingly “kiss the pain away”.

He drove you to considering if you were ready to live on this way forever, or if you should end it.

Yongguk kept creeping his way into your heart, and every time you were hit or were called on, you thought of him. How he’d never do this to you. How he always gave you plenty of room and plenty of time. How he didn’t make rules, and never did a bad thing to you. How he’d been so sweet and slow with all his movements, giving you kisses, stroking your sides, holding you close. Simply loving you.

He would come and save you, right?

Your head was too fucked up to function properly, and you were crying every night while thinking about it. He had to know that a horrible, violent asshole had captured you. He had to know you were held hostage and abused every day. He had to come and save you, because he always kept talking about how people who hadn’t done anything bad didn’t deserve to suffer.

It took him close to half a year to find you.

He’d been searching, crying and internally dying. Doing his best to spend all of his free time to find out where you were. Walking on until he collapsed from sleep deprivation. Making his and the member’s lives a living hell. Thinking too much until his brain refused to do the most basic tasks and his vision blurred.

He had no clue where the hell you were, or what had happened. And it was driving him insane.

You faintly remembered the events that followed. How Minjae started dragging you out of the house from time to time, because he figured it would take a toll on your nerves. Knowing you were out in the outside world and technically should be able to run, but at the same time knowing he always held a knife prepared in case you decided to disobey. It was his method of emotional torture, and it was one of those evenings you finally saw Yongguk again.

It was a quiet street corner, and Minjae had yet again thought of a way to torture your poor soul. He knew how much you hated the fact he came home bloody on most days, and he loved tracing his bloody hands over your cheeks, and shoving dozens of bloody clothed into your lap for you to wash. And now he’d finally decided to show you where all of that blood came from.

It was a moment in time. At one point you were quietly walking, and the next thing you knew there were gunshots all around and you were pulled along by Minjae to hide behind a car.

His gang was on a mission, and he’d purposefully told them to lead the enemy here. Just so you could see.

The rivals were no joke, doing better than Minjae’s people with ease. Their aim was precise, and they had Minjae cursing every time they shot someone. You’d been emotionally drained, and, as you saw the view in front of your eyes, you decided to do the only thing that could save your soul now.

You stood up, and stepped out. A shot. A shot was all it would take to gain infinite freedom. To stop the suffering. To make it end.

Or so you thought, until you noticed a pair of familiar eyes on the other end of the line, creeping out of the shadows and begging for you to get back and shield your body.

“Don’t shoot her!” his voice was surprisingly loud as he quickly yanked his frame to the front, just in time to direct Jongup’s gun away before he fired right at you.

“Yongguk-ah,” you felt tears creeping in your eyes as you saw him, standing there and looking as surprised and shocked as ever. A shaky sob and a broken smile formed on your face as you took a step to the front, and then took another one. He was there. And you were finally able to go home.

“No, (Y/N), stay where you are!” he screamed, seeing how dazed and emotionally drained you were, not listening to anyone and walking further into the scene with tragically beautiful open arms.

“Oh, she sure will,” you suddenly felt a strong, familiar grip on your hair, and cried out as Minjae yanked you back behind the car, hissing.

“Babe, why didn’t you ever tell me your boyfriend was a mafia leader? This changes quite a few things.”

A mafia leader. Disbelief was all you felt, yet you knew that was the truth, because he was right there, in front of you. Shooting and bringing violence. Proving the fact Minjae wasn’t lying this time around.

Yet you had no fear of him, and felt no disgust towards him either. His violence was directed towards people like Minjae - assholes who broke other people’s lives and made them suffer. Assholes who only wanted money and power.

His violence was directed at people who didn’t deserve to live because of the pain they had caused. And you felt no fear of him, because you knew he wouldn’t hurt you. He wouldn’t hurt anyone who didn’t deserve it.

Minjae was losing. He, himself, might be a great shot, but not all of his men were, and this was a thing he hadn’t fully thought out.

“Withdrawal! Do you hear, idiots?!” he called, and you saw his men fleeing, and just for a moment you hoped he’d just flee too, leaving you behind. But apparently he had something else in mind.

“It’s showtime now, babe. Show him how much I matter to you.” he yanked you out from behind the car, holding you by your hair and showing you off as if you were a trophy. Your gaze was scanning all over the opposite side, searching for him. Hoping to find him looking back at you. Yet when you finally spotted him, he was looking at Minjae, his stare displaying rage and utter madness.

“Land another shot and she’ll be dead,” he said, and with the corner of your eyes you saw him raising his gun to point it at you, “Do you understand, Yongguk?”

He didn’t answer, simply staring back at Minjae instead. But it was bloody obvious he’d gotten the message by the way his muscles tensed up.

“That is, if you still want this bitch. After all, she went away with me instead of waiting for you back then, and I’ve kissed her mouth more than you can even imagine at this point. I’ve used her up like a tissue. She ain’t yours anymore.”

Suddenly, Jongup rose his gun and shot to the side, taking down one of Minjae’s men who’d stayed behind and tried to sneak up to them, about to hurt Yongguk.

“Oh, didn’t you hear what I just said I’d do?” Minjae laughed out loudly, “I think you did. So maybe I should show you what I promised would happen instead of just telling you. So you have a clear image in your head.”

A discharge of the gun, and sharp pain stung through your left shoulder. You screamed out in pain, feeling everything go white in front of your eyes for a moment until your senses came back to you, causing you to whine and flinch at the feeling of the bullet in your skin and flesh that definitely shouldn’t be there.

“Next time I’ll make sure to aim better.”

“There won’t be a next time,” Yongguk said, and waited.

Shoot.

Minjae yanked back, throwing you to the ground as he stepped back further.

“You.. When did you..?”

“While you were being a drama queen,” Junhong who’d sneaked up during the emotional show-offs said, observing the bruise in Minjae’s arm he’d just caused. Damn, he needed to get better at aiming, didn’t he?

But that wasn’t of matter. The gunfire resumed soon, and Minjae had figured you simply weren’t worth risking his own life for. Withdrawing with the rest of his men that were still there, he left the scene and left you crying and bleeding on the ground. He left you to be, stating clear that you seemed rather like an used up tisue than a worthy human being to him. And if a scum like him didn’t want you, who would instead? You were left crying.

Until you were met with Yongguk’s loving embrace.

“Yongguk-ah.. Y-You’re h-here,” you looked at him in disbelief as he held your shaking frame close to his, placing soft kisses all over your face, indicating all would be fine from now on.

“I-I thought I’d never s-see you again, and.. Yongguk-ah, I was so a-afraid,” you whispered, obeying him as he gently put a hand at the back of your head and let you bury your face in his chest.

“What happened back then?” he calmly asked, his voice sounding so close to your ear it made you tear up even more. Just like in your past time dreams. He was finally here.

“I.. I was waiting for you, and.. A-and then h-he came and s-simply started hitting on m-me, and c-captured me after I said I w-was waiting for someone. And t-then I f-fell unconscious, and he took me away to his place..”

“Did he do anything to you?” Yongguk heard a faint “Yongguk hyung, we have to leave! I can already hear the sirens!” in the distance, but an “oww!” followed soon, and he knew Himchan had probably kicked Daehyun for calling out like that at the completely wrong moment.

“H-he hurt me,” Yongguk felt his heart clenching at that sentence, and his hand stroked up and down your side as he listened.

“He called me a b-bitch. H-he hit me when I didn’t do something right. He slammed me against walls. Yongguk-ah, h-he made me k-kiss him and I.. I r-really tried to resist, I really d-did. B-but he was so m-much stronger than m-me, and if Iresisted h-he’d simply hurt me more…”

You broke into another round of shaky sobs as he held you close, burying his face in your hair and trying to stop you from shaking so much.

“How much does your shoulder hurt?”

“B-badly,” you managed to get out, just for him to gently make you pull away from his chest and look at his face instead.

“Let’s go so I can take care of you,” he told you calmly, looking into your eyes and gently pushing you to sit on the ground. Before you could stand up, he scooped you up in his arms and started carrying you away from the scene and to where the guys were already heading to.

“We’ll fix you up, okay?” he softly spoke, making you nod against his chest, “It will hurt less when it’s cleansed and bandaged.”

“I’ll take you to our base first, and you can stay there for as long as you want to,” he said, careful with his words because of what you just had to witness, “I know you probably think I’m no better than him right now. He’s a gang leader, and, despite the fact I’ve kept it a secret for this long, I am one too. But please, don’t be afraid of me, (Y/N). I’m far from being-”

“I’m not afraid,” you told him, cutting him off and for the first time in months earning a quiet nod instead of a slap to the face for interrupting, “Because you only hurt people who hurt others.”

“And I only get rid of people who have done horrible things aren’t worthy of their lives,” you heard his tone, and assumed he was smiling. Smiling because you were finally back. And on top of that, you understood.

It was hard from then on, but since you had him, you somehow managed. He made sure your wound was properly bandaged and would heal nicely, as the bullets Minjae used caused a horribly big amount of damage. He then held you close, and asked where you wanted to go.

“I could bring you to your place,” he said, cupping your face with a hand, “Or I can-”

“Please, don’t leave me,” he heard you whisper desperately, and gave a little nod in response to your broken tone.

“Don’t worry, babe, I won’t.”

The word “babe” only sparked new flashbacks and brought tears into your eyes. He watched you trying to keep it in, and admired how strong you were. How strong you’d been for this whole time.

“Then I’ll take you home with me, okay?” he received a few frantic nods, and gently lifted your head up a bit.

“You can stay with me from now on, if you want to, for as long as you’d like. I’ll take care of you, and make sure nothing bad will ever happen to you. Because I love you, and I won’t let anything that could keep us apart or that could hurt you in any way or form happen ever again.”

The last thing you remembered from that evening was his soft kiss that you’d missed oh so much, and his promises to take good care of you.

* * * * *

“Hey, (Y/N)! I’m back!!”

Daehyun’s voice echoed through the whole base, finally bringing you out of your flashback. He found you leaning against the kitchen counter with a mug in your hands, looking quite sad and lost.

“Did I scare you?” he scratched the back of his head and gave you a cute, apologetic smile, “I’m sorry about that. Himchan tells me to cut back on the screaming, but I’m not able to do-”

“Where are the others?” You blurted out, looking back at him.

“Aaaand you worry about everyone but me,” he chuckled, making you feel a little bad, “Good to know!”

“No, Dae. I care about you too. It’s just that.. I see you’re back here all safe and fine, but I don’t see the others around.”

“I was sent back by them, actually,” he said, walking around you and to the fridge. Typical Daehyun. When he wasn’t talking, he was stuffing his gut to unimaginable extents.

“We figured one of us should stay here with you. Just in case. And it’s my turn.”

“Also, to answer your question - Yongguk doesn’t get to stay here with you. You’ll just end up cuddling on the bed and in case hell breaks loose he’ll be in his pajamas and sleeping soundly.”

“How rude. I hadn’t even asked,” you pouted, making him chuckle as he came back up to you.

“Well, sorry. But I knew you’d ask. So, what were you doing anyways before I ruined everything?”

“Remembering.”

Your voice was enough to give away how you truly felt on the inside, and Daehyun felt bad for asking. Yet he wanted to ask again, because of all of the stuff he’d heard since the threats from yesterday. He was a curious person by default, and he craved to know.

“I’ll totally understand if you don’t want to talk about it, but..”

“You want to know.”

“Exactly.”

So you told him everything, at least more or less. And he sat there on the couch in the main room, listening carefully and nodding from time to time.

“You know, it was so hard at first,” you felt a knot forming at the back of your throat, yet you tried to repress it, “I couldn’t even sleep next to Yongguk for a solid while without flinching every now and then when he moved, because my brain was playing tricks on me and I was convinced that Minjae was still beside me and not Yongguk. It took me ages to be able to respond to “babe” without crying, and I did flinch at every single one of his touches because of reflexes that I’d gotten from having to live with Minjae at first. But.. Yongguk was patient. He understood, and gave me time. He stayed with me when I needed him the most. Hell, I thought he’d never want to kiss me again because of the fact that Minjae had been doing it with his gross cigarette mouth instead of him for months, but.. He made me feel loved, and with his actions wiped all the dirt and hurt away from my body and soul. He didn’t think it was gross to kiss me even after all of that. And I’ll love him forever for that - for making me feel pure after something like that once again.“

"I’ve always quite admired Yongguk hyung,” Daehyun said, speaking up for the first time in about an hour, “And this really shows how he can handle hard situations. It’s-”

His phone started buzzing, cutting him off. Daehyun made eye contact with you before picking it up and putting the phone on speaker.

“Daehyun-ah, get her away from there!!” Youngjae’s voice could be clearly heard through the speaker, making both of you feel uneasy.

“But where to? There isn’t a safer place than this one-”

“I don’t know how the hell they did it, but they found it. And we’re still far away - we won’t make it in time. Please, you have to get away.”

Without sparing any time, Daehyun grabbed the keys to his van and, taking you by the arm, pulled you to the door.

“Hey, not to make you nervous, but I’m the worst in this gang at literally everything. Shoothing, aim, defense - you name it,” he said while running, making you want to smack him.

“Can you drive, at least!?” you asked, seeing his eyes light up.

“Oh yes I can, even better than Junhong. Wow, I’m better at that than him, what a miracle. Side note though - he’s the worst.”

“Then I’ll just say a prayer and hope we’ll both come out alive of this,” you both ran up to his van and got in.

“Set up the GPS and the phone, please,” he instructed, driving into what he assumed was a safe direction. It didn’t take long for Younjae to be back on the phone, and for coordinates and dots to start appearing on the GPS.

“What’s all of this?” You questioned, looking at the screen.

“Youngjae’s magic,” Daehyun smiled, taking a sharp turn, “The red dots is where all of us are located on the map. You see where we are, right?”

“Yes.”

“Midwest is Youngjae, Jongup and Junhong. They’re in the second van. And to the south, that dot - that’s Yongguk hyung and Himchan hyung. They’re probably on the motorbike, I doubt a scooter can go this fast.” Daehyun made you crack up with that statement, and you felt slightly more at ease, despite the situation.

“Well, I doubt Yongguk is driving whatever the vehicle is in that case anyways. He wouldn’t go that fast like ever.”

Little did you know he did.

Himchan had laughed and pointed out the same thing at first, but he simply didn’t care. He could care less about himself and a thing as absurd as his own safety while he knew you were in danger. So he drove through the nightly streets of Seoul as fast as he could. There were no people around anyways, and he had no one to look out for.

“This isn’t exact information, it’s more just my assumptions,” Youngjae could be heard through the phone, his words making fear twist with curiosity inside of you, “But take a look at this.”

Blue dots appeared on the GPS, causing you to look at it more carefully

“Oh snap, I hope you’re kidding. They’re close,” Daehyun said, making you feel even uneasier.

“I hope I’m kidding as well. We’re taking care of disabling them. All you have to do is get away, understood?”

“Yessir!”

Getting away sounded easy enough for you, and you tried to lean back in the car seat and relax. But you simply couldn’t. Hell, did it even matter what would happen to you? You thought it didn’t, as long as the guys were fine.

As long as Yongguk was.

It didn’t take you long to spot a car driving out of nowhere and taking a sharp turn right in front of you, clearly about to bring you quite a big amount of trouble.

“Oh, here we go,” Daehyun turned the steering wheel, driving out into another street, “Now hold on, but what’s more important - watch your head!!”

You did as told, sliding down lower in the seat and praying to God you’d be fine.

“Turn left now on the next one!” Youngjae instructed, “And we’ll take car- Junhong could you be even slower!? Load the damn weapon, we don’t have time for this!”

Daehyun did as told, and for a moment you could clearly see Youngjae behind the steering wheel of their other van, driving around the corner and letting Jongup who was fully leaning out of the window with two automatics in his hands to the job. He was such a fucking murderer indeed.

You kept taking turns after turns, going back and forth and constantly crossing over with Youngjae’s vehicle. A few shots had landed on your car, and Daehyun cursed about having to go and fix it all up afterwards, but you could care less about something as unimportant as the vehicle right now. Yongguk was nowhere in sight, even though the red dot on the GPS clearly indicated they were somewhere nearby. He was in danger yet again, all because of you.

* * * * *

“I hope you’re doing your best,” Yongguk quietly said as Himchan grabbed his shoulder for support, leaning to his left and checking his gun one last time.

“Yes I am, leader.”

“You’re the leader.”

“I’ll let you take over for the night.”

The motorbike was a pure beauty, flawlessly gliding on asphalt and making little noise for the engine it possessed. It was the perfect vehicle for doing what they were about to do.

“Watch your head,” Himchan teased.

“Only if you watch your mouth,” Yongguk responded, “Although, they won’t be able to hear you anyways.”

With a swift move, they changed the line, and took a sharp right turn just to end up on another street driving next to a car. A car with three armed guys that Himchan managed to shoot in the head before they could even react.

“Should we prevent the car from crashing?”

“Naah, it’s going to the right and it’s eventually going to crash into that border. Won’t hurt anyone.”

“Good,” Yongguk said, and with that, was back to fully focusing on the street. Minjae was still somewhere out there, and he had to find him. And kill him.

* * * * *

“Daehyun-ah, we’re staying behind!” Youngjae announced, making you let out a nervous breath, “Can you turn back?”

“Well, not according to your map,” Daehyun answered, “How many people are there even-”

His sentence was cut short by the sound you hoped you’d never hear. The sound of something piercing through the tire.

“We’re doomed,” Daehyun screamed, trying to get back the control of the car, “They shot through a tire.”

“Fuck, hold on,” Youngjae called out.

“Wait for us and don’t die. I want to shoot some more,” Jongup casually said, just to be cursed at by the other two.

“Daehyun-ah, it’s up to you now. Hold on, please. Don’t make me bury you tonight.”

Another tire was shot through right as Daehyun instructed you on what would eventually happen next. The car came to a screeching stop after no more than ten seconds, being left at a street corner and a dead end in this quite abandoned part of the city as Daehyun pulled you out of it and along behind it.

“You don’t know how to shoot, do you?”

“Are you crazy or what!?”

“Okay, I’ll take that as a no then. I figured just asking wouldn’t hurt, jeez.”

The enemy’s car came to a stop in front of theirs, and a few silhouettes climbed out of it without hesitation. One of them being a little too familiar.

“Hey, babe. Did you miss your man?”

“Don’t say a word,” Daehyun pulled you to his chest, aiming carefully, “And don’t worry. We’ll handle this.”

As another van appeared right behind the corner, you wondered how the hell they’d managed to arrive this fast, but when you saw Junhong behind the steering wheel, you understood everything clearly.

He’s the worst driver of all. But the fastest.

It didn’t take long for the other to react, and even with Jongup’s two automatics it was still hard to go against Minjae and his bunch.

“Get fucking lost,” Daehyun moved up and yanked one of the men who had been able to sneak up to their car in the chest with an elbow, shooting him twice after that. You simply stayed silent and quiet, obeying all of Daehyun’s instructions until at some point a whimper was what you heard instead of a command or words of reassurance.

And he fell to the ground.

“Daehyun-ah!!” you leaned over him, repeatedly hitting his cheeks, wanting him to say something. But he didn’t, lying on the ground as blood kept dripping from his head. It wasn’t a bullet, but whatever had hit him did it with such a force that it knocked him out.

Suddenly, you felt a similar sensation that made shivers run down your spine. And it wasn’t the nice type of sensation. It was the one that brought fear with it.

Minjae was tugging you to a standing position by your hair.

“Aww, look at you,” he made you face him and look him right in the eyes, “Have you exchanged Yongguk for another yet again? How pathetic, this guy’s even worse than him. You just keep sinking lower and lower.”

You struggled against his grip, unable to move as you simply wanted Yongguk to come around to fix this up, just like the previous time. Yet he was nowhere to be seen.

“What’s that, babe?” He chuckled, slapping you across your face hard, “Do you want a kiss perhaps? You’ll get all of that once we arrive home. Oh, and you’ll get even more than that - you’ll get punishment for leaving me like you did.”

The guys were too busy to notice. They were still certain Daehyun was fully conscious and protecting you, and they let Minjae’s figure sliding from their view go unnoticed.

“Or, since I told them I’d shoot you if they fired one more shot back then.. Maybe I should keep my promise?”

He yanked you back a little, observing the situation from afar. It still amazed him how good B.A.P could work as a team, and how with just three people of the team in battle, they still managed to work together against many more, handling the situation perfectly.

Until a motorbike drove out into the scene.

It was a movie scene, and another moment in time. He stopped in the middle of the gunfight, and didn’t get a single shot fired at him or Himchan because of the other three. He stepped off the vehicle, and stood there, observing the situation. It seemed as if he was invincible at that moment, and nothing could hurt him. But he was ready to hurt everyone who’d tried to harm you in any way.

With this new lineup change and the position, as well as Himchan’s close to perfect aim and Yongguk’s newfound silent rage they didn’t take long to finish up everyone. Except of Minjae.

“Still searching for your bitch?”

Yongguk knew the voice too well, and it made him want to gag. But more than that, it made him want to get rid of the source of the voice as soon and as painful as possible.

“Say one more thing and you’re dead.”

“She’ll go down first, in that case,” you clearly felt the cold gun that was pointed at your temple, and, locking eyes with Yongguk, you felt a little nervous. But he was right there, and unlike the previous time, you had talked this out. And you knew what to do.

He winked with his right eye once. And you ducked.

* * * * *

“So, important note which might be useful,” Junhong had told you earlier while driving to the base today, “We have a few ways how to give each other instructions mid-battle.”

“Well done, Junhong-ah. Good idea, that could maybe prevent disaster,” Himchan called from behind the steering wheel, making Junhong smile.

“It’s quite easy if you ask me. A wink with the left eye means "take a step back”, a wink with the right means “duck”. Two blinks mean “to the left” and three mean “to the right”. Should I continue?”

"No, this will be enough,” Yongguk’s low voice right next to you snapped you out of your thoughts, and you looked up to him, with a worried yet collected expression.

“I hope it won’t come to this, but if it will, keep all of this in mind. It’s simple instructions, and they might just save your life,” he answered, and let his hand trail to meet with yours. It was risky, but you knew you could manage. With him by your side, definitely.

* * * * *

Shoot.

“Ah!” Minjae stumbled back at the impact of Yongguk’s bullet hitting the gun out of his hand, “How the hell did you-”

Shoot. Right in the shoulder, where he’d shot you about a year ago.

“This is, you know, just to showcase what I promised I’d do if you wouldn’t shut the fuck up,” Yongguk hissed, smirking ad he approached slowly, “But maybe I should aim better next time around.”

“How comes you beat me?” Minjae was hysteric, not knowing what to do - to laugh or to cry, since he knew this was the end anyways, “You’re so much weaker than I am, yet you knew how to decapitate me.”

“I have an amazing team. With a leader whom I trust tons, and who’s been with me for longer than you can imagine. With a mastermind, and a killing machine who likes spilling blood. And, of course, not to forget our two men in training - they’re no less important.” his hand wrapped around your waist, and he pulled you to his side.

“But most importantly, I simply have a desire to get rid of assholes like you. People who break lives apart and aren’t worthy of oxygen.”

Minjae smiled one last time, understanding more than well he was at a dead end. Without a weapon and destined to die.

“Enjoy your bitch.”

“Look away, babe. I’m about to finish this,” Yongguk told you quietly, and you obeyed, gripping onto the front of his shirt and tilting your face upwards, burying it in the crook of his neck.

Shoot.

“This is for calling her a bitch.”

Shoot.

“This is for kidnapping her and keeping her hostage.”

Shoot.

“This is for hitting her and abusing her.”

Shoot.

“This is for putting your gross ass mouth on her perfect one.”

Shoot.

“This is for almost robbing her of life, the way I did it to you just now.”

The initial shock was gone, and, slowly opening your eyes, you understood it was over. All of this was - the constant fear and the pain he’d caused to you. No.. The pain wasn’t completely gone and over. That might stick around for quite a while still, but you knew it would only go up from now on. Because Minjae was gone, and Yongguk was present.

Yongguk’s gun dropped to the ground and his hand found it’s way to rest on your side. He tilted his head down, and pressed a soft, deep kiss on your lips, indicating all was fine. He was by your side. And he’d saved you again, this time completely getting rid of the danger.

“Yongguk-ah, Dae’s hurt,” you told him immediately, worry straining your voice. He turned back to face the scenery immediately, noticing that Daehyun was in fact lying on the ground without any motion.

“Tel me he’s fine,” Yongguk spoke as you both approached, his arm still wrapped around your waist.

“Yeah, it should be nothing too bad. He’d just been knocked out, there shouldn’t be much more damage than a bruise on the head and a ton of headache,” Himchan informed, lifting him up bridal-style.

“So tell me, Yongguk-ah. Why do you get to carry girls home from a crime scene while I have to carry Daehyun?”

Chuckles filled the street for a good few seconds until you understood you’d better get moving before any uninvited guests would crash the crime scene. Somehow, even the quietest and most abandoned parts of the city always got inspected, and crimes were found all around town frequently and easily, but they were never solved. At least not when B.A.P was of significance in the event.

Youngjae took the responsibility of driving the van with two flats away somewhere nearby to change tires, and everyone else climbed into the other van, leaving you and Yongguk alone on the crime scene.

“Come with me, babe.” he said, and you did, because there wasn’t a place you’d rather be at in this whole world.

He drove all the way back home, keeping up a normal driving speed because there was no need to hurry now. You were right there, pressing against his back and holding onto him tightly as the wind and the speed of the vehicle curled strands your hair together in beautiful ways. Everything was fine once again.

Coming back home has never seemed so soothing. He didn’t even bother to turn on the lights - he simply crashed into bed as soon as possible, scooping you into his arms and burying his face in your hair.

“Any more ex-kidnappers that I should look out for?”

“No,” you chuckled, turning to face him, “Believe it or not, no one else’s after me.”

“So no one who could hurt you?” His fingers were tracing your scar again, and for the first time ever you moved his hand away. Silence filled the room.

“Yongguk-ah, let it go,” you told him, looking him into the eyes, “It wasn’t your fault. And even if it would be, it’s in the past and not the present. I’m fine now, thanks to you. And I’ll love you forever for everything you’d done for me. Since the very first day we met.”

“But you’re never getting hurt again nonetheless,” he still wasn’t completely having all yore long speeches, and you chuckled.

“Not on your watch?”

He looked surprised after hearing that. How could you possibly know Himchan’s signature line? The line always used to telling Yongguk things wouldn’t go his desired way - he wouldn’t give up, he wouldn’t stop and let himself get dragged into hell. He wouldn’t die. And now, it wasn’t just his good old friend Himchan. It was you as well, as you weren’t about to let him be dragged down.

Looking back at you, he simply understood it was a coincidence. Or a sign, that the people who were closest to him would always look out for him, if he did the same to them. If he tried hard, even after knowing success was far from reachable, and if he’d never give up, they’d put all of their trust in him and would return the actions selflessly.

He’d been through a lot. Loss of friends, family. Anxieties, depression. Loss of motivation and the will to live. He even had to give up leadership. Yet there were still people aroud him who cared , and he promised himself he’d take good care of them as well. Because he loved them to the last bone.

“Yeah. Not on my watch.”

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