#or the game of thrones universe even though i have literally never watched a single episode or read a single book in it.

[transingthoseformers]

I've been toying with a dragonformers au in my head. Not set in a particular canon, bit of a fusion of whatever I want.

So the transformers are dragons, obviously. But I'm torn between having it be about dragon riders, so Dot with Megatron, Raoul with Tracks, etc. Or a conservation area for wild dragons, with the humans basically being park rangers. Or a combo, a retirement area for dragons used for combat.

I'm sorry, I'm just tossing ideas about.

Hmmmm. Now, I'm not quite familiar with dragonformers as I've probably only read one? Fic with it, and even then i didn't quite finish the fic.

Buuuut, here's what I'm thinking here: a mixture, like you've suggested above. Some of them have grown up with humans their entire lives (or most of their lives) and have handlers. Some have had little to no human contact throughout their life up until this point. Some fall somewhere in the middle of this spectrum. I feel like it's exactly a good idea to suggest some are former military, but not all of them. Why do I suggest that last line? Hear me out, but

Dragon rehab.

[swanhookheart]

Angry Grishaverse book review time!

After watching and LOVING s1 of Shadow and Bone, I read the trilogy! I was not impressed. 

Spoilers incoming for Grishaverse stuff, so if you don’t want those, don’t read on!

Watching Shadow and Bone this past weekend, I was hooked : Darklina, the lore behind the amplifiers, the Aleksander backstory… I was really impressed and hoped that this was it--that at last, I’d found a fantasy series that was going somewhere big, something I could really, thoroughly sink my teeth into. 

*Sigh* 

Then I read the books.

The reader / viewer enters the Grishaverse associating darkness with pure evil. The Fold, described early on, is shown to be this bleak, awful, ruinous place where people go to be eaten alive by volcra and hope goes to die. We therefore, naturally, associate the Darkling--who possesses the power of shadow--with that evil from the off. I’m speaking as someone who only got into the Grishaverse last Saturday. My initial thoughts were, “oh, he’s being set up to be viewed as dark and scary; this is the expectation Bardugo wants us to have so that we’ll be blown away by some great twist later. Count me in!”

But that twist never came. He was set up as evil, and he stayed evil. Surprise, he’s the Black Heretic! Surprise, he’s an abomination effectively created by Morezova’s greed! Surprise, he’s ruthless and horrible and does cruel things! Except none of those things are actually surprising, given he was SET UP from the beginning to be viewed that way. He did bad things, walked a bad walk, and talked a bad talk. I kept thinking “ah, so he’s gonna get a sweeeet redemption arc,” and then he just never did. That element of the story was predictable to a nauseating degree, and that predictability made the entire universe feel a bit flat. If the reader saw more of his backstory, had more real, logical, sound justification for why he does the things he does (like in the show, where they at least tried to paint his actions as borne of some misplaced sense of servitude / protection for the Grisha or where we saw him actively struggling at points to grapple with the darkness inside him), then maybe the trilogy wouldn’t have been such a letdown. And yes, I know about his sacrifice or whatever later on. It’s not enough.

In villains, I and probably plenty of others like to see humanity. We want to empathize with our villains to a certain extent--to understand them just a little bit--so we can fully commit to hating them when they violate our trust. The Darkling didn’t have that human, redeeming quality, though--at least, not in the books. In the books, he was just a power-hungry jackass who simultaneously didn’t want to be alone and kept trying to kill his only opportunity not to be alone. His single-mindedness, his lack of human empathy, the simplicity with which he pursued this made him seem almost stupid to me as a reader. For someone who’s lived hundreds of years, he’s kind of an idiot when it comes to other people--which, itself, almost seems incongruous with his having lived for so long. If he’d maybe had more backstory or more in his story to justify his actions, maybe he’d feel like a better villain. But atm, all I’m doing is rolling my eyes with him. I couldn’t love him because he didn’t put in any work toward being a better person. Even in the end, he doesn’t actually do the work or repent. But I also can’t hate him because the source material hasn’t given me enough actual human qualities to hate or to feel betrayed. His character just… missed the mark for me. 

As did Mal’s. Fucking MAL, oh my GOD! This dude’s literal only personality trait was loving Alina. Cool, he could track--for Alina, mostly. He could fight--for Alina. “I am become a blade”? Sir, you got a whole-ass tattoo announcing that you’re an object in this woman’s service? No WAP is worth that, and I’m speaking as a very bisexual woman. My dude, it’s weird, it’s extra, it’s just too much. I’ll go back to the Darkling for two seconds to say that, ofc, his actions were painted as problematic and misogynistic and gross. But, like, the possessiveness Mal displays with Alina kinda feels on that same level? Why are we pretending he’s better when he actively tries to keep her low, keep her powerless, and keep her his? Again, dude got a tattoo of her sigil. He was fully prepared to be the leader of her guard even if she married Nikolai just for the opportunity for some sexytimes. I know that YA is about really intense emotion, the fire of teenage hormones and stuff, but that all just felt a bit toxic. The way that his entire life revolved around her while she tried to balance the role of saint, hero, orphan, and all the things she was just felt goofy and like a wildly unhealthy dynamic. 

Their whole relationship also felt really obvious, as I guess the Darkling being revealed as the trilogy’s big bad did. It was predictable, set up to be that way from the start. There were no surprises. It was Mal, and then it was still Mal, and in the end, it was also Mal. We weren’t really shown any of what made them so drawn to each other, we were just kind of told and expected to be fine with the intensity of it. But it read as being way too much for me, and god, it kept getting worse. Again, this one felt like low-hanging fruit--low effort, lazy writing. Nothing about it actually read to me as romantic, just as too much. They didn’t so much as fall in love as just start out that way, and reading that was somewhere between boring and uncomfortable. At least with the Darkling or hell--even Nikolai--we saw some of that chemistry unfold on the page. We were shown some of what made them work the way they did. There was something underpinning their relationship, and not just “oh, they’re supposed to be together”. I mean, after all JKR’s bullshit, I feel totally fine saying fuck authorial intent. If you can’t even be bothered to actually put your shit on the page, don’t ask me to blindly accept your version canon as gospel truth. 

We could have had Deckerstar vibes, Beauty and the Beast vibes, seen light and dark come together and surprise us by actually working well together. But no, we saw a special girl lose everything that made her special and settle for some mediocre fuckboy from her hometown. We get characters that actually have the potential to be dynamic and make for a good story, but she still ends up with this bland, vanilla, trick-ass bitch? It’s a major letdown when you’ve actually been exposed to decent fictional couples, tbh.

OOF! And the ending? Oh jesus fuck, that ending. Darkling just… dies. Just like that. I read three whole books for that? I know he comes back and dies again and all, but the whole trilogy felt like it was building up to something more, something deeper and greater and more profound. He was horrible for the things he did, sure, and he deserved defeat as long as he refused to waver from his power-hungry, destructive path. But his death brought about no closure. He and Alina never actually had the fight they needed to or reached an understanding with each other. Everything is left undone, unsaid, unexplored. The ending just felt super anticlimactic on the page, and so, the trilogy as a whole fell completely short of any mark I hoped it might hit.

Did I hope Darklina would be endgame? Sure. But I’d also have been A-okay with a tragic ending if it had been done right. Did I think it would have been a lot more interesting to see a redemption arc for Darkling than just… more of the same? Or maybe Mal develop a personality outside of Alina? Absolutely. There was so much potential, and it really feels like Bardugo squandered all of it. And for what? This was nearly as disappointing as the eighth season of Game of Thrones. I probably won’t be watching future seasons if they follow the books, but I guess I’m glad for the day or so of fleeting pleasure I got when I still had hope for a properly told story. 

[nightcoremoon]

it's evident people haven't watched enough kids media to adequately understand just what constitutes a kids show as opposed to a show that kids can watch and be entertained by

when I was a kid I watched king of the hill and blues clues (among other things). king of the hill is NOT a kids show by any stretch of the imagination; it is an adult animation, replete with fairly heavy subject matter, sexual themes, political humor, cultural references that kids won't understand, discussion of religion in the modern day, depression and suicidal thoughts, adultery, puberty and sexual awakenings, body image, propane, propane accessories, and ultimately above all else what it means to be family. and blues clues is a show about a man who plays with a shovel & pail, talks to his condiments and mailbox, and sometimes he teleports into the felt dimension, all while playing Sherlock Holmes hercule poirot with his dog, and teaching kids how to count and draw and recognize colors and learn their ABCs. do you see the fucking difference? no? then I'll make it more clear.

dora the explorer & go diego go, mickey mouse clubhouse, handy manny, octonauts, bob the builder, super why, wild kratts, zoboomafoo, jojo's circus, wow wow wubbzy, stanley, doc mcstuffins, max & ruby, wonder pets, bubble guppies, ni hao khai lan, backyardigans, little einsteins, caillou (ugh) and p*w p*trol (double ugh), these are all undeniably kids shows. their audience is children (and the occasional adult by age with severe intellectual disabilities) and maybe the parents whose brains are too fried to care what's on the tv. these shows main purpose is to educate while entertaining on subjects one would encounter in preschool and kindergarten. counting 1-10, ABCs, basic color, basic language, basic intrapersonal skills, basic emotional literacy, problem solving, using your imagination, what sounds do animals make, breaking the fourth wall to ask the audience to answer what's 2+2 or tell them a lesson they learned today like I LEARNED TO NEVER JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER or some simple message like that. it's always light, there's no edgelord grimdark "what if they were dead the whole time" bullshit. it's just good clean simple wholesome [except for paw patrol] programs for kids to be distracted for a little bit of time, while also letting them walk away having said they learned something. at least half of the time dedicated to every single one of these shows is devoted to the same shit over and over again. I'm the map I'm the map I'm the map I'm the map I'm the map I'm the map WE FUCKING GET IT YOURE THE MAP! backpack backpack I'm the backpack loaded up with things and knickknacks too, anything that you might need I've got inside for you. we did it we did it we did it HOORAY! come on vamanos everybody let's go, come on let's get to it, I know that we can do it,

WHERE ARE WE GOING

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

THESE SONGS ARE BURNED INTO MY BRAIN AND THEYLL BE STUCK IN MY HEAD UNTIL I DIE

say click take a pic, the hot dog dance, CAN HE FIX IT???, pizza! spaghetti!, THE DOC IS IN AND SHELL FIX YOU UP, max & ruby ruby & max max & ruby ruby & max MAX & RUBY RUBY & MAX MAX & RUBY RUBY & MAX, wonder pets wonder pets we're on our way to help the friend and save the day, we're not too big and we're not too tough but when we work together we've got the right stuff, goooOOO WONDER PETS YAAAAY~, yoooour backyard friends the backyardigans (weve got the whole wide world in our yard to explore, thATS WHY EVERY DAY WEEEEERE BACK FOR MOOOORE), were going on a trip in our little rocket ship SOARING THROOOOOUGH THE SKY!!! little einsteins!

I swear to god I've been forced to watch so much children's television in my life it's no wonder there's no room left for serotonin executive function or the ability to speak to morons

point is I know my way around kids shows. my sisters were born in 98, 02, 05, 06, 10, and 18, I think, I don't even know because they're all a blur, I'm literally closer in age to my parents than to my youngest sibling, I never stopped being exposed to kids shows. I know what is and is not a kids show.

adventure time? not a kids show even though kids watch it. it's a "for everyone" show. it's got a target audience of 100% of the planet. steven universe? not a kids show even though kids watch it. miraculous ladybug? not a kids show even though kids watch it. scooby doo? not a kids show even though kids watch it. I'm not discussing the history of adult acceptance of animation, adult animation, or anime, so don't ask. dexter's laboratory. the grim adventures of billy & mandy. codename kids next door. teen titans. fairly oddparents. kim possible. invader zim. AVATAR THE LAST AIRBENDER. totally spies. courage the cowardly dog. the proud family. SPONGEBOB F*ING SQUAREPANTS. powerpuff girls. foster's home for imaginary friends. oh yeah you know what's coming next. my little goddamn pony friendship is mother fucking magic is not. a. kids. show. even though kids can watch it. it is a cartoon. it is an everyone show. that's why it's disingenuous and fucking stupid to decry any fan over the age of 7 as a pedophile and a weirdo creep; it participates in the infantilization of femininity. why is it ok for 20somethings to keep watching aang and squidward and finn & jake and zim and "return the slab" and everyone's totally fine wth that but when it's twilight sparkle suddenly everyone's like whoa you're a huge fucking loser for watching this girly wussy baby show for girly wussy babies. oh some bronies are sex crazed perverts? I'm sorry have you seen just how much porn there is for spongebob? oh some bronies are cringe? I'm sorry have you met half the steven universe fandom? oh some bronies are fascist rick sanchez kinnies with fedoras and katanas? BREAKING BAD FANS, HELLO!?!?!?

this is such a stupid tiring boring argument. maybe magic talking horses being friends and turning their friendship into magic rainbow nuclear fucking arms and blasting the evil out of a demon and turning her into the coolest fucking half-unicorn biker lesbian in the world is something that brings me, and adult, pure wholesome joy, in between bojack horseman and dark souls and breaking bad and deftones and fallout new vegas and jojo and cannibal corpse and other bleak depressing edgy shit that also brings me comfort. and MAYBE me at 16 starting to watch MLP:FIM becoming finally comfortable with the outward public expression of "traditionally feminine" interests is the main reason why I realized I was a girl when I did, and MAYBE I just like how pretty the colorful ponies look, AND MAYBE I KIN WITH ONE OR TWO OR EIGHT CHARACTERS, WHAT OF IT?

AND MAYBE ITS LITERALLY THE BEST LONG RUNNING FANTASY TV SERIES ON THE MARKET RIGHT NOW* SINCE GAME OF THRONES FUCKING SUCKS

but whatever, kids watch it sometimes so it's illegal for anyone who's not a kid to enjoy it, but only if it's something girly because liking girly things is bad because girliness is inherently bad, and the only things that are good have predominantly male casts*. right? right??? wrong, fucker. g4mlp has so much more in common with adventure time & atla than with blues clues or dora the fucking explora...r.

but keep in mind I'm saying this while hugging a blues clues plushie my grandma gave me for valentine's day because it reminds her of when I was a baby because I may not watch blues clues but it still means a lot to me for nostalgia and is 50% of the reason why I love ray charles. kids media isn't necessarily bad. I still do enjoy watching it with my little sisters. all this is is me being anal about categorization because I'm autistic and I LIVE for categorizing everything.

*besides atla obviously

[ramblings-of-a-mad-cat]

Percy, Skye & now Rakepick. You really have a thing for characters the fandom hates, huh? 😂 Though ofc one of them’s a lot worse than the other 2 although the first 2 fucked up a few times as well and the fandom hasn’t really forgiven them for that. I know you find them “interesting” for reasons most of the fandom disagree with & I low-key feel bad for you. I wish I could relate to you but even tho I respect your opinions, I really don’t like any of those 3 either 😅

Thank you for your kind words! Aha, well I really am the champion of unpopular opinions, it seems to be true in every fandom I’m in. (Says the person who liked both Last Jedi and Game of Thrones S8) But I’m glad you mentioned those three in particular, because they kind of outline three different ways people can “like” a character. 

Liking Percy is similar to liking Beatrice. 

I can understand why the characters in-universe and parts of the fandom might dislike them, and I suppose that’s valid...but I will never understand it. There are characters out there who I will gladly pledge my sword, my bow, and my ax. That I will defend until my dying breath because they’ve truly done nothing wrong in my eyes, and I want to share their side of the story if I can. Percy could be annoying, sure. But no one ever talks about how the majority of the Weasleys openly disliked him, the twins bullied him with impunity, and Molly and Arthur took a stance that, in my personal opinion, was a bit too neutral. Likewise, I can understand Penny’s desire to protect Beatrice, and her confusion at how much Beatrice has changed. I can understand people thinking she gets in the way (which used to be a much more popular opinion) but she lost a year of her life to the Cursed Vaults, so of course she’s traumatized and coping with it as best she can. She has, in my opinion, just as much skin in the game as MC, and she’s actually older than they were when they started poking around. So why can they investigate, but she can’t?

Liking Skye is similar to liking Merula.

Here is the type of garbage character I shamelessly stan, but I can also concede that the Antis are correct in almost every detail. Now, I can provide an alternate perspective, a different point of view, and explain why they are sympathetic to me, but I will never say that the Antis are wrong. Because with how unlikable these disasters make themselves, it’s pretty much inevitable. I agree, Skye is obnoxious and self-centered, the story gives her too much focus, and she constantly makes mistakes. That being said...it’s crystal clear why she behaves the way she does. She was raised a child celebrity in Quidditch culture. Her social skills and her empathy are stunted as a result. She’s shown that she can be friendly, in my opinion, but more often than not, she screws it up. Still, I can’t help but root for her. Merula is the same way. She’s practically on a mission to make everyone hate her, and she crosses all sorts of social lines, like making fun of MC’s potentially dead brother, or their very literally dead best friend. Merula has never apologized for the abuse she put several people through. And yet...god, I feel so bad for this child. She lost her parents, had her girlfriend best friend stab her in the back...had another one of her friends ditch her for her rival...was betrayed again by what she viewed as a surrogate mother...she’s all alone. Her worldview is so fractured, and her aversion to showing weakness is only digging her deeper into these terrible, unhealthy habits. I want her to heal. To grow. I believe she can do it. 

Liking Rakepick, as I’ve tried time and again to explain, is similar to liking Barty Crouch Jr.

What can I say, I’m a sucker for the problematic mentor trope. As a child, I watched Nickolodeon, and I was drawn to villains like Chase Young, and Vlad Plasmius. Characters who were definitely not good guys, but still had a kind of teacher-student relationship with the hero. It’s a creative dynamic. Now, that doesn’t mean I always like it - I absolutely hated it when Cersei tried to pull this crap with Sansa in Game of Thrones - but sometimes...it just kinda works for me? Plus, I think we need to acknowledge that we can admire a villain without condoning their actions. This isn’t me saying that Rakepick or Crouch are misunderstood, or more “complex” than simply being wicked. This is me enjoying their wickness. Admiring a villain for just how well they villain. Yes, I just used that word as a verb. Barty Crouch Jr fooled Albus frigging Dumbledore for ten months. No other villain has done that. I think he’s extremely underrated, one of the cleverest antagonists in the books. Rakepick is, or was, one of the smartest and most ruthless characters in the HPHM story. I don’t think it’s giving undeserved credit to admit that Rakepick is a force to reckoned with. She broke MC’s wand before they could cast a single spell. She is, I do believe, the only character to canonically defeat them. And she wiped the floor with them. I don’t know what else to say. Liking villains doesn’t mean you would defend their choices or consider them good people. Barty Crouch Jr. used what I consider to be the most evil spell in the series to help torture the Longbottoms into insanity. Rakepick has used it more than once without a care in the world, including the unspeakable incident in the Portrait Vault. And that’s not even getting into what she did to Rowan. Do I hate these characters for what they’ve done? Of course. But do I still think they’re cool? You bet I do! And there shouldn’t be anything wrong with that. 

[fanfictrashdump]

Queening a Pawn, 17

((Y’all know the drill. I was supposed to be doing something productive in my life and I wrote this trash, instead))

XX

Summary: During the Time Heist, Loki stole the Tesseract and escaped. He did not expect, however, to be pulled through a Time Loop that delivered him to a Midgard more than a decade older, wiser, and bitterer. Having just lived through his unsuccessful attack in New York, Loki must learn to live in Midgard after the defeat of Thanos (post-Endgame). The question is, who is Loki without a quest for a throne or total domination?

Pairings: Loki x OC

=

"–out came the sun and dried up all the rain and the itsy, bitsy spider went up the spout, again."

Delilah grinned from ear to ear as she spied into the classroom where the handful of four year-olds were huddled into while their parents were at work. When she was first informed that Loki had volunteered to take the afternoon shift for the pre-school kids, she had feared the worst. 

On the best of days, Loki's patience lasted about as long as it took him to drain a full cup of coffee. On others, just about as long as it took his heart to beat. When it came to the imps, as he called them, his tolerance for half-hour stories that went nowhere and non-stop renditions of nursery rhymes was utterly boundless. And so it became that every now and then, when her day was going awful and she needed a pick-me-up, Delilah peeked around the doorway to watch him interact with the kids. 

Today, he was chasing after a boy that was covered, head to toe, in finger paint while another child trailed behind singing Itsy Bitsy Spider on a loop. The Asgardian Prince snatched the boy up just before he clambered onto the pristine, white armchair in the corner, ignoring the fact that, he too, was now covered in cheap water-based paint.

With a lazy half-smile, he deposited the boy into one of the seats at the art table, where three other kids were sitting, doing their crafts before snapping his fingers and ridding them both of their colorful mess. Before retreating, he ruffled the boy's hair with a chuckle and immediately took a knee in front of the child trailing him.

"Yes, Aria. You have my undivided attention," he assured and the child repeated her song, seemingly satisfied when he smiled and applauded her at the end as she turned tail and went off to do something else. "Tidy up and go wash your hands. We're having snacks in ten." There was a chorus of acknowledgement around him that made Lilah sigh and smile delightedly at the extra beats her heart skipped. As if sensing the fondness, Loki did a double-take at the door, trying to smother a smile as he skirted towards the door with his hands clasped behind his back. "Wasn't aware I was to be under scrutiny today."

"We like to keep inspections a surprise. Make sure the rules are being followed at all times," Delilah responded with a feigned severity.

"And, is my performance satisfactory?" He leaned against the wall beside her, choosing to cross his arms over his chest, seemingly so he could watch the kids while also flirt. It was never to be said that Loki wasn't good at multitasking.

"Well, there is the small matter of how the child became utterly covered in paint, but I suppose you're passable."

The unspoken challenge drew a wolfish grin from his lips. "Will there be an opportunity for me to prove myself later? I can assure you that I can be more than passable."

"There are literal children here–"

"And I have said nothing untoward. Have I, Miss Delilah?" He pushed away from the wall with a grace that was unfair of such a tall person and turned towards Delilah to bow slightly, fist over heart. "I must feed the children before they riot. See you later?" With a dazed grin still on her face, she nodded and quietly slipped backward into the hallway to walk back to her office.

The grin, however, fell off her face when she opened her door to find Thor frowning at her desk. "I was having such a good day, too," she complained under her breath before plopping down in her chair. "I know I'll regret asking, but why are you so sulky?"

"Nothing. Just mentally preparing myself for the answer to my question: how is my brother doing?"

Delilah furrowed her brow, confused. "Loki? He's doing great. I just left his class he was giving the kids snacks."

"I just wanted to offer my services, should there be any need to–"

"I'm going to stop you right there…" Delilah leaned forward, leaning her face into her hand and sighed. "Last week he learned every child's favorite color and made them each a snowflake that never melts in that color. I think we're fine," she finished in a mock whisper. "I don't want to say this, but you look the littlest bit disappointed that your brother hasn't fucked up."

Thor sighed, shoulders slumped. "It's not that I am disappointed at his current success–"

"You're disappointed you voted to keep him imprisoned. To be fair Cap and Sam voted with you. It wasn't exactly an unpopular opinion, bud."

"But he is my brother."

"He also tried to, you know, take over the world."

"You trusted him."

Delilah gave him a tight-lipped smile. "No. I hoped I could." She chuckled, shaking her head absently. "You know, when Loki taught me how to play chess, there was one thing he said that always stuck with me. I remember him setting the board and staring at me over the pieces. The crux of the matter is this: you can learn the rules and hope that I'll respect them, you can distract me and hope I don't catch on, or you can interest me, and that, pet, is where the game really is," she finished, perfectly imitating his purposeful pronunciation.  "A whole new world with a decade full of new things to discover– who wouldn't behave for that? It was practically Loki's wet dream."

Thor made a face at the turn of phrase that did nothing to resolve his already pinched expression. "I wish I were that confident of his behavior."

"I'm not. That's the whole point. Loki will mess up–he's allowed to mess up. He works so hard when he doesn't assume you're waiting for him to fail." She chuckled. "And he's good at his job– great at setting examples. None of the kids are afraid of trying new things because they know they are entirely free to fail."

"Failure is not something to strive for."

"It's better than hiding in the back of a ship with Quill and Rocket," she snapped back and Thor showed surprise at the retort. "Don't dish it out if you can't take it."

"I am performing a duty for the Universe."

"It didn't start out that way, though, did it?" She pressed, single eyebrow raised and the god of thunder shifted uncomfortably. "Bottom line is that your brother is actually an astounding person. You should meet him sometime."

Amidst tense silence and a staring contest, the doorway was filled by the devil, himself, who looked between his brother and his lover with a small notch forming between his brows. "I can sense I am already in trouble. Consider me well and thoroughly lectured, brother dearest," he said to Thor, not bothering for a response before turning to Delilah. "It seems that Byron has thrown up his snack because he insisted on running a lap around the room right after eating. His parents are awful hypochondriacs– do I need to tell them?"

"Yes, but preface with the running and end with the fact that the rest of the kids are fine."

"Excellent. Oh, and Bruce was looking for you. He said he'd be in his lab." With a flirty wink, the clone disappeared from the doorway, leaving Thor and Delilah back in awkward silence.

Delilah smiled quietly, hands folded together upon the desk, while Thor decided if he was going to accept defeat graciously or not. "Was there anything else on your mind, Thor?" She asked when he didn't say anything.

"How… how have you done this?" He asked, heaving a great sigh. "It's like there's a different person occupying his body."

"The really sad part is that there isn't. That's just Loki, except we didn't give him a goddamn chance the first time around."

Thor frowned, looking down at his boots. "You love him."

"Of course I do. How can I not?" Lilah sniffled, scrubbing at her eyes with frustration at the tears that prickled the corners of her eyes. "He's a beautiful creature who thinks he's a monster all because Asgard failed him. They failed him, and you know it."

"I know. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize to me. You take it up with him," she retorted, harshly. "Now, get out of my office." Thor merely nodded before vacating his seat, and disappearing out the doorway. When he was out of sight, she drew a deep breath, wiping at her eyes and anxiously ruffling her hair. "Stop hiding. I know you're there."

The illusion melted away and from thin air, Loki appeared looking surprisingly sheepish. "I thought you hadn't spotted me." Delilah gave him a look and he raised his hands defensively. "I am aware I should know better." He smiled, taking long steps to close the distance between them before bending to kiss her crown. "Stop fretting over me, darling girl."

"Someone's got to do it. It's not like you fret over yourself!"

"My love, I don't care what Thor thinks. Or the Valkyrie, or anyone in these blasted nine," he argued, carding his fingers through her short hair. "Only you. And if I please you, even if unworthy, I am happy." He kissed her forehead and sighed. "Just you… and that spoiled cat of yours."

"Lilah, do you happen to–" Thor's voice boomed as he crossed back into her office, stopping mid-step at finding Loki with an arm around her slight frame, looking content and soft. "Oh... Brother, do you have a moment…?"

Loki cut his eyes down at Delilah, who shrugged noncommital. "Certainly, Thor." Smiling warmly, he bent once more, pressing a lingering kiss on her forehead and brushing his fingers on her cheek as he straightened. "I adore you, my love," he whispered gently. "I'll find you for dinner, alright?"

Loki followed Thor quietly, hands clasped behind his back. The god of thunder looked conflicted and Loki knew better than to interrupt the man when he was on the verge of emotions stronger than silly giddiness. The hulking blonde stopped just short of the in-house bar, sucking in a deep breath before meeting his blue eyes to his green.

Thor steeled his resolve. "Loki–"

"There's no need, brother. No need to dwell on the past."

The older brother furrowed his brow. "She has done you good. I would have thought you'd relish the idea of having me grovel for forgiveness."

"I just spent eight hours dissolving quarrels because one child stared at another for too long. Being petty for the sake of it is highly overrated," he offered, leaning against the corridor wall with a leg propped up on the surface.

Thor chuckled, nodding absently. "You always did have exceptional patience."

"Yes, you've trained me well in that regard." Loki offered his brother a lopsided smirk in response. "Come. Let's have a drink. I've been on a steady diet of apple juice and mandarin oranges all week."

[heyyyharry]

What if harry saw niall being nice to y/n and thought he was into her? How would he handle that?

another anon: I feel like Niall and Y/n were just “friends” because of their group but later become those unique friends who share interest in the weirdest things. [Like before Ni and Layla got together] He’ll brings up a show like GoT and everyone groans & ignores him but y/n starts gushing about how much she loves it & Ni just stares at her like “yes, Finally someone gets me” & accidentally lets slip out “Where have you been all my life?” Then Harry gets into defensive/territorial mood 😂

I think these two ideas would go great together! So this is before they got together, Y/N was in the kitchen while Harry, Louis, Liam, Niall, Layla and Trix were hanging out in the living room. Niall mentioned Game of Thrones, but only Y/N watched it.

.

“So what do you guys think about the latest Game of Thrones episode?” Niall asked, and the reaction he received from the whole group wasn’t what he’d wanted to see. They all shook their heads slowly, neither seemed a tiny bit excited or interested even.

“I don’t watch it, that show’s too violent,” Trix said, and Layla of all people was quick to agree with her.

“Yup.” Layla nodded fast, her eyes still glued to her phone so she couldn’t see how shocked everyone was. “You know I’m against violence, I can’t watch that shit.”

“You? Against violence?” Liam asked as Louis tried so hard not to laugh out loud.

“You nearly pushed me down the stairs just because I was in your way.” Harry raised an eyebrow as he sat up straight, pointing a finger at her. “I’m surprised you’re not in Game of Thrones.”

“Hey, hey, I nearly pushed you down the stairs. You didn’t fall, did you?” She shrugged, causing everyone to roll their eyes. 

“You could be Cersei.”

“Who’s Cersei? A beautiful princess?” 

Layla’s question made Niall snort, yet he didn’t say another word. He assumed no one there beside him would understand that joke, yet all of a sudden he heard Y/N giggle as she walked back to her room. In an instant he turned around, eyes sparked with hope.

“Y/N! You watch Game of Thrones too?”

All attention now switched to the girl who stood frozen at her bedroom door.

“Yeah.” She nodded shyly, chuckling a bit and heading towards where they sat on the couch. “I’m kind of obsessed with the show.”

“Have you watched the latest episode?” Niall sounded so cheerful. Meanwhile, Liam and Louis resumed their conversation about Liam’s new car, Layla and Trix were back with their phones. Harry, however, couldn’t turn a deaf ear to the conversation which he didn’t understand a single word.

“I cannot believe they killed off a dragon! I was rooting for him!” Y/N said, looking genuinely pissed off. Harry didn’t get it at all. What’s with all these emotions? It’s just a tv show, he told himself, yet he couldn’t stop staring at those two. Niall seemed to share the same frustration as he scooted over so Y/N could sit down right next to him. Neither of them could see the look on Harry’s face right now, as if he would jump right into that tiny gap between them in a heartbeat.

“You know what might be funny?” Niall said as he laughed and Y/N had the biggest smile on her face. “We’re all debating between Jon and Dany, but what if Bran ends up on the throne?”

“I would kill myself.” Y/N exhaled, rolling her eyes. Harry bit his bottom lip as his stomach wrenched. His best friend and the girl he liked were laughing with each other. He wished he could join them, but he didn’t understand a single word. Who are Jon and Dany?! Who the hell is Bran?! Fuck!

“Hey, I have an idea!”

Harry’s eyes almost popped out of his head when Niall placed one hand on Y/N’s shoulder.

“I’m gonna go see the season finale at this bar. Wanna join?”

“Definitely!” Y/N answered right away. “Text me the address later!”

Harry held his head, mouth shut tight as if to hold back a scream. She said yes without hesitation! What is happening?!

“Or I can pick you up, cool?”

“Sure, that’d be great. Thanks, Niall.”

What. Is. Happening?! 

He knew these thoughts he was having were childish. But he was always the only one in his group who could talk and laugh and have inside jokes with Y/N. Now Niall was doing all of it and they were gonna see the season finale together. Was he in some kind of parallel universe?!

He wouldn’t care this much if it was another guy, because dealing with the other guys was a piece of cake. But this wasn’t just any other guy. This was Niall, his best friend. He couldn’t scare Niall away like he did with the others. He couldn’t tell Niall he liked Y/N either. Why was he freaking out though? Y/N wasn’t even his girlfriend! 

Was he overreacting? Yes. 

Should he? Double yes.

Fuck me, he thought. Also fuck Game of Thrones.

At the end of the night, Harry said goodbyes to his friends and saw Niall give his flatmate a hug. He couldn’t help but shoot them both a glare which Trix noticed right away.

“Why are you staring at Niall like he ate your last piece of pie?” The girl giggled as she poked Harry’s cheek. Despite how confused everyone seemed after Trix’s remark, Harry stayed silent and went back inside.

Later that night, Y/N came to his room to get the extra pillow he’d borrowed the night before. And there she found him sprawling on his bed, watching…Game of Thrones.

“I’m here to—”

He cut her off by handing her the pillow, eyes glued to the laptop screen as his face screwed up intensely. Giggling at his expression, she asked, “what season are you on?”

“Second.”

“Oh.” She nodded slowly and decided to join him on his bed. Surprisingly, he didn’t even notice her sitting down. She watched the look on his face as he groaned under his breath in reaction to a scene he didn’t like. It was a shame that he missed the heart eyes she was giving him right now.

“Can I watch with you?” She asked softly. It was only then that he turned to look at her with his shiny green eyes which were now full of joy.

“S-Sure.” He chuckled nervously, turning his laptop a bit towards her so she could see as well. “Uhm…but no spoilers please. I know you’ve watched all of it.”

“I literally begged you to watch with me, but you said no.” She laughed a bit, still looking at him. 

“Niall told me it was good.” He wasn’t sure if she knew he was lying. Even if she did, he wouldn’t be able to tell.

“So Niall said it was good and you watched it right away, but when I told you—”

“It’s not it,” he cut her off, almost spitting out the truth. Fortunately, he stopped himself just in time. “Never mind. I need to keep on watching so I can catch up with the show in two days.”

“Why two days?”

“Because the season finale is this Sunday and…” Harry paused when he saw the way Y/N was smiling at him. His cheeks turned red a bit, and now he began to stutter like a fool. “A-And…I…uhm…I want to…to go see it with you and Niall…at that bar that you talked about.”

“Really?”

“Only if you want me to come,” he added quickly, staring at his hands instead of her face. “I mean…if you don’t, I can just—”

“Don’t be silly. The more the merrier,” Y/N said as she giggled. Immediately, his eyes darted back up to hold her gaze. “We can go there together so Niall won’t have to pick me up and take me home. Sounds good?”

“Great!” Harry exclaimed, smiling from ear to ear. He’d tried to hide it, yet his excitement was so obvious that it made her chuckle as well. All of a sudden, a loud scream pulled their attention back on the screen, and Harry’s entire body tensed up as he gasped in shock.

“Oh no, I missed it! Who just died?!”

Y/N shook her head slowly, beaming as her flatmate frantically rewinded the episode while cursing quietly to himself. This is gonna be a long night, she thought to herself while leaning back and enjoying the show.

[melodizes]

~ Devil May Care ~ @maildt

Some memories are forgotten.

“Александр, ты можешь держать ребенка?” (Alexander, can you hold the baby?)

Some fade over time.

“6 DEAD AND 4 HOSPITALIZED DUE TO ACCIDENTAL RADIATION EXPOSURE IN RUSSIA.”

But some are remembered vividly.

“He’s dead?! But—But how?!”

 It really just depends on what you concern yourself with, or at least that’s what we tell ourselves.

“But Mello!”

“Don’t waste your breath!”

Roger didn’t. No one did, not even as one of their own walked out the doors for the final time and disappeared into darkness. Um, hello? Child protective services much? Since when was fourteen years old an acceptable time to start “living my own life?”

Wammy’s House: the orphanage, the institution, the asylum. It cranked out little monsters, but perhaps if one of those monsters could escape early, he would be okay. Alternate tried. He wasn’t. But Mello wasn’t Alternate. Mello was, well, Mello.

So clearly, he wouldn’t be okay either.

The first month was the hardest. He had nothing. Not a home, nor family, nor money. The boy had never truly felt like an orphan until then. Countless times he found himself locked in public bathrooms in tears, wanting out. Eventually, the gaps between breakdowns grew wider and wider, and Mello found himself gradually building a wall, day by day, brick by brick. Each individual brick was made of pride, and the mortar used to hold them together was purpose. His construct would have been seamless, if he hadn’t built it in sand. Rage is not a stable foundation.

Still, his castle hadn’t fallen yet, and he was a king.

Blood, sweat, and tears were all it took to put himself at the front of the Mafia—well, those amongst other things. He wouldn’t admit it, but he was afraid the first time he held a gun. Afraid the first time he shot someone. Afraid the first time he was in a room with a bunch of men older and bigger than him. He was afraid the first time he had sex, and maybe a little afraid the next few times after that too. He tried some drugs and those scared him. He didn’t like to get drunk, and whenever he was the focus of a shootout, he felt a bit of a rush. That was a good thing.

Mello liked the rush. He loved it, really. It turned his fear into his strength. With a hit of adrenaline and coke, there was nothing he couldn’t do. Although the details of what lead up to his encounter with Rod Ross are insignificant, know that the boy-to-man-grown-up-too-fast had to accomplish a great deal of despicable deeds to earn the mountain of a man’s respect. As a certain God of Mischief would say, his ledger is gushing red.  

His passport says twenty-four, but little did anyone know that an eighteen year old was at the head of the Mafia. It was the natural choice. Other than the good guys (if you can really call L, Near, and his group of blind monkeys that), who else wanted Kira dead? Together with the bad guys, Mello had an army.

Did that make him the bad guy?

Duh.

He coughed. He has a bloody nose and sinus infection from all the dust in this place. “Damn,” his voice rasped, pulling a tissue out of his pocket to wipe up the blood and throw it on the ground like a world-class champion. The sooner they can get out of here, the better.

These days, it’s weapons deal after weapons deal, and it always ends with someone else’s blood dried up under his fingernails. Disgusting. Taking another wet tissue, our blond princess wiped his hands clean and gently shoved his gloves back on each perfectly-manicured hand, one by one. His ego was inflated now.

He looked up from behind his men and grinned as he observed his plan approaching fruition. Whatever gold mine of a trade agreement they had just struck with a subset of the Syrian Military Council was enough to get his men the power they wanted, in addition to the support of an old enemy. It was a ‘the enemy of my enemy is my friend’ type of situation. Look at that, Kira. Criminals all over the world working together because they want you dead. How touching.

That goal, however, disguised his real reasons for coming here. Unfortunately and in case the following information is somehow unbeknownst to you, though it is albeit the most obvious information in possibility the entire universe, Mello is a little bitch.

Meaning that he is a liar, and the one thing he does not yet have is insurance. Though he may have his own army, pissing off people all over the world and some even in his own vicinity casts a bit of a death warrant on his head, and that isn’t even including the man, the myth, the legend: Kira. He couldn’t even begin to keep track of all the people that would love to have his sexy-ass head on a stick in their living room. Although, maybe those people should just stick to the normal ways of assassination and stop binge-watching Game of Thrones.

Nonetheless, he needs insurance. Mello talks a lot of shit about wanting to be the best and not letting anyone get in his way, but none of his Mafia associates are actually aware of what that entails. Surely, if they were to see how truly childish his desires were, and what’s more, the predicted outcome of what he is trying to achieve, his own army might even turn around and strike him down. Not to mention, he knows they will try to strike him down when Mello finally betrays every single one of them once he’s gotten everything he wanted. That is something that will not do, but let them try.

Mello makes perfect plans. They’re flawless, and he won’t account for things spinning out of turn, which is a problem. No good detective needs a back-up plan, do they? Near certainly doesn’t have one. L didn’t, but that is why Mello and Near were dragged into this situation in the first place. L was supposed to find Kira and execute him, but he got killed, and L didn’t prepare for that. The one fucking job that so-called genius detective had was to pick a successor and he couldn’t even fucking do that. Just how competent was he then? That institution had kids literally killing themselves over the push to be the next L. Mello might as well have done the same fucking thing. God, it infuriated him just thinking about it, but he couldn’t have that, because it shook his castle.

So then, L, is this enough? Have I proved myself yet? By seeking help and having a backup plan in case things go wrong, am I capable yet?!

Mello grit his teeth, staring out the darkened window of the car that was taking his team to their hotel. He noticed that one of the other guys was staring at him before quickly looking away when Mello met eye contact. Damn, he needed to swallow down his anger. 

When the car stopped and everyone departed, Mello collected himself and retired to his room. It wasn’t until late that night that he made a run for it, fully disguised in a completely inconspicuous (cue the eyeroll) feathery black coat in the heat of Syrian summer. He was sweating. It was hot as balls. But he needs someone to trust. Someone who knows the depth of his will and will aid him in the fight, at least, to take down Kira. No one saw him though. He knew they wouldn’t because he knew these men all too well and what they would be doing right about now. Alcohol, drugs, and orgies. Fun, fun, fun in the Syrian sun!

His nose was starting to bleed again. He was high on coke, but hell, he needed the energy for what he was about to do. Swearing to himself, he took a rolled up cotton swab and stuck it in his nose like the little kid in Wammy’s school that always has a nose bleed. Super attractive male right there. Wet with sweat and what looks like a tampon hanging out of his nose. And he probably smells great too.

But he supposed Matt was that kid. He used to get nosebleeds a lot from what Mello could remember. The two were never very close but Mello considered him tolerable. Maybe Matt felt stronger about him though, because Mello was a pretty self-centered child. He didn’t tell anyone other than Roger and Near that he was leaving before he vanished. He supposed that Matt was the closest thing he had to a friend back then, but then again, he didn’t really consider anyone to be his friend. Though perhaps he was just playing the role of the victim. The child arrived at Wammy’s when he was very young, and he was always a tantrum-y child, excelling at playing up the “poor me I’m second” card.

Good memories were sparse, but he did have some with Matt. The other made him laugh a few times. They shared a few classes, especially the high-level ones, because Matt was supposed to be a successor too. It was clear he didn’t want it though. Mello never understood how Matt could be so carefree in that environment. The kid would rant about the government and anarchy, and Mello thought it was all bullshit. How could the world run peacefully without government?  Impossible, he thought, but Mello was all black and white. It was like Matt was

Grey.

There was always a part of Mello that was wary of Matt. He was thankful the other never applied himself as much as Mello did, but he knew that if he had, then there was a good chance that Mello wouldn’t have been in the running to be L in the first place. But then again, maybe not. How smart could he really be if he believed all the shit he would spew in their political science classes? To Mello, he seemed backwards.

That was alright though. If he was still the same person as he remembered, then the Mafioso was sure that he would be down to pursue Kira—or in other words, be his backup plan. And even if he wasn’t, Mello was ready to persuade him by any means necessary. Surely the boy could live with a missing finger or toe. Who knows! Whatever it may be, he surely wouldn’t take “no” for an answer. Also, he didn’t really have any other choices.

As disgusting as ever, the pile of sweat and clogged nostrils carried on through the night. He managed hail down a taxi that would take him to his hopefully-correct destination, his Arabic wasn’t perfect though so it was a bit of a hassle. If his sources were correct, and they always were, then Matt was exactly where he always said he’d be. Now, it was just a matter of tracking him down and getting him alone to reveal his grand-ole plan like a stereotypical villain in a superhero movie. Would that make Matt the hero?

After about a two hour ride, the car slowed down as it pulled up to a nightclub. It was hidden, behind what appeared to be a store selling ceramics and other craft-work. Mello had conned someone earlier that week into giving him the proper knock and password so that when he was questioned, he could spit some Kurdish sentence out with ease. It was quite funny actually. He sold off one of his own men’s oxycodone for the intelligence, and then accused the same man of deceitful drug trade in exchange for the exact same information. Both men involved are dead.

The best way to tie your loose ends is to just cut them off.  

Blue and pink lights welcomed him, but the bass is what really sent him on edge. Damn, he forgot how well a good buzz mixed with music. He did his best to keep his toothy grin down and moved further into the room, making note of all that was around. Taking the tissue out of his nose and tossing it to the ground (2 for 2), he pulled his hood up more. The real threat here was that someone other than Matt would recognize him. Fortunately, he hadn’t been to this part of the country yet, and so the threat was not as intense. As always, he remained cautious, sinking into the shadows. Now, the real game can begin. 

[hellzyeahthewebwieldingavenger]

Marvel Universe LIVE: Age of Heroes Thoughts

I just got back from seeing the Marvel Universe LIVE: Age of Heroes stage show at London’s O2 Arena and thought I’d share my thoughts on it.

The first thing I have to acknowledge is that I am absolutely not the target audience for this thing even a little bit.

The target audience is at absolute minimum 5 and at a huge push maybe 12 years old, with 8-10 probably being the sweet spot.

It’s essentially for kids who’ve seen the MCU, the 2010s cartoons, played the most child friendly video games, picked up the sticker books and so forth. If there were any winks to the comics or deep cuts me and my friend (who’ve both been around the block many times when it comes to comics) either didn’t catch them or they might’ve been unintentional.

But what exactly is this?

Simply put it is a stage show that runs under 2 hours (including an intermission) in which a group of heroes engage in stunts and acrobatics in a bare bones story wherein they tangle with Nebula, the Ravagers (including Yondu) and most chiefly Loki across some famous Marvel locations for control of the mystical item, the Wand of Watoomb (which debuted in ASM Annual #2!).

The heroes in question are:

·         Doctor Strange

·         Star Lord

·         Gamora

·         Rocket Racoon

·         Drax the Destroyer

·         Groot

·         Spider-Man

·         Captain America

·         Iron Man

·         Thor

·         Bruce Banner/the Hulk

·         Black Widow

·         Wasp (Hope? Janet? It is unclear)

·         Black Panther

·         And a surprise guest appearance from Iron Fist

There are also some other more minor characters of note too:

·         The Chitauri who act as Loki’s soldiers

·         Green Goblin

·         Rhino

·         Lizard

·         Electro

·         And Black Cat

Sans the Chitauri the latter villains only appear briefly in a battle just there to introduce Spidey and the Avengers (sans Iron Fist, Hulk and Doctor Strange) on stage.

The scenario is Green Goblin is committing a crime in NYC that Spider-Man shows up to stop but is then attacked by Black Cat and soon the other Spidey villains. Ultimately outnumbered and out gunned that’s when the Avengers show up to help.

From there Doctor Strange shows up to inform them that Nebula got her hands on the wand and it’s teleporting her somewhere on Earth (this was all shown earlier in the show during the introduction to the Guardians and Ravagers). With Banner’s help they narrow the locations down to K’un-Lun and Antarctica.

As the Guardians head to Knowhere to get one of the Collector’s items that will be able to take them to the wand, the Avengers split into two groups and head to both locations.

The K’un-Lun team consists of Thor, Iron Man, Wasp and Doctor Strange and the Antarctic team consists of Spidey, Cap, Black Widow and Black Panther.

They plan to bring in Bruce/Hulk if the situation gets really dire, but little do they know Loki has invade Avengers Tower in New York and captured Bruce, casting a spell on him that prevents him from getting angry and thus transforming.

Part 1 concludes with the K’un-Lun team fighting Loki who uses his magic to bring a statue of a dragon (who is clearly meant to be Shou-Lao the Undying) to live. The dragon in turn animates a group of stone soldiers to fight the Avengers who’s abilities are ineffective against them. That’s when Iron Fist appears to help out. Deducing that beating the dragon will enable them to beat the soldiers, Iron Fist ends it and the soldiers are defeated soon after. Unfortunately Loki still captures the Avengers.

In Part 2 the Guardians manage to beat the Ravagers (who are also after Rocket’s bounty) and find what they need to get to Earth.

Meanwhile the second Avengers team have found themselves in the Savage Land and the natives are not pleased to see them. Nebula is teleported there but Spider-Man webs the wand out of her (and everyone else’s) reach thus prompting a battle to reach it in time. The good guys win and use the wand’s power to take them to the other Avengers, unaware they are captured in Loki’s throne room on Asgard.

Loki soon captures everyone but thanks to Rocket’s especially dangerous big gun most of the heroes are freed. The big exception is Bruce. This is a problem because only he can penetrate the force field protecting the wand and avert disaster. Unfortunately his own prison cell won’t open.

The heroes then resolve to use a device Iron Man talked about way back in their introductory battle. In short through the power of combined positive thoughts Iron Man’s device can unleash a powerful burst of energy. The heroes (and the audience) send their positive thoughts and succeed in releasing Banner and unleashing the Hulk who saves the day.

Good guys win. Bad guys lose. The crowd claps and cheers as the actors pose and bow. Hulk and Groot squabble.

Based upon everything above you might be thinking this show is rather...well lame.

However it is in fact really, really fun!

As is so often the case with stage shows you have to actually see them (and really in person) to appreciate them, reading a summary or even a script doesn’t do them justice.

As basic and simple as the plot and characters are (we never see the heroes out of costume for instance) it is all service of the point of the show.

Cool stunts, acrobatics, fight choreography and set pieces with some of your favourite super heroes.

On that front the show is a rousing success and the story mostly works towards that end. You want deep thoughtful Marvel storytelling that’s the movies and the comics. You want just pure superhero fun, this is it.

I guess you could argue the writing could be better because it gives little in the way of stuff for the adults inevitably dragged to this by their kids like many Pixar films succeed in doing.

And yes that would have made this stage show better. Better...but not good. After all where is it written that a stage show made specifically to entertain children and just children is bad merely because it doesn’t seek to do more than that, let alone when it totally succeeds?

The stunt work, acrobatics and effects mind you are not Cirque du Soleil or anything. But they are great for what they are. Almost everything in the fight scenes works for instance, stand outs for me being the Spidey fighting his villains (especially Felicia), Black Cat vs. Black Widow (has that ever even happened in canon?), Black Panther vs. the Rhino, Cap fighting whilst on a motorcycle (I felt  the kicks!), Spidey’s own motorcycle stunts (the only time Spidey on a bike has ever been cool), Gamora vs. Nebula and everything with Iron Fist.

The only nitpick I have regarding the fights is that occasionally one character might be off to the side tossing their hands around and stamping for no reason because it isn’t their turn to get involved in the action yet. This happened with Electro actually, I don’t know why. Maybe they felt if they had him actually attack when the heroes were otherwise occupied the villains would just win.

Again though it’s a nitpick. As is the fact that when they introduce us to the Savage Land they reused stock background footage from the ‘Walking with Dinosaurs’ show that played at the O2 Arena earlier this year. To let you appreciate just how much of a nitpick this is, I’m pretty sure I was the only audience member to notice this and that’s purely because by coincidence I saw that very show way back in January.

One final nitpick which is really just me is that the gesticulations the actors make and larger than necessary body movements kind of ruined my emersion a little bit, but that’s probably a necessity for this show.

None of the stage performers were really talking, their dialogue had all been pre-recorded by professional voice actors (Cree Summers and Fred Tatasciore being the more obvious ones I caught) and if their costumes revealed their mouths they just lip-synched. As such those over the top gestures are probably an important part of the performance of the show to bring the characters to life considering there isn’t a single person acting in the role. Plus you need some way of communicating emotions (however simplistic) to the audience through distance (the O2 Arena is huge) and costumes.

Since I know so little about stage productions in general and I’m clearly not the real target demographic for this show (nor do I have children of my own so I can’t even really envision their mindset) I’m just going to talk about the stuff I liked and disliked.

To be honest the only thing I honestly disliked were the Guardians. The Guardians films are wonderful but the unintended consequence of their success is that every iteration of the Guardians thereafter (be it video games or sticker books) based themselves upon the movies. It’s not just that that gets repetitive since there isn’t as much material to draw from but it also has the unfortunate effect of making the Guardians kind of caricatures of themselves. The Guardians movies to be blunt do place the 5 main Guardians within clear cut archetypes and then builds upon that. In other media though they really are just reduced to those archetypes.

Star Lord be the cocky leader who can at times be less smooth than he’d like.

Gamora is the serious warrior woman who rolls her eyes at the antics of her team mates and has a rivalry with her sister.

Drax is also a serious warrior but more direct and there is the gag that he takes things totally literally.

Rocket is the snarky and short tempered one.

Groot is the heavy who prefers to be a gentle giant and is Rocket’s BFF.

Because they have been like that in EVERYTHING sans the MCU it’s like watching an old cartoon from the 80s or something where you know exactly what every character is going to do and how they are going to do it because everything is so stock.

In this production that’s not really that big of a problem since everyone is so simplistic and the spectacle is really the entire point. But for me personally I did just get a little bored with their scenes whereas with the Avengers I was at least curious how they were going to do Thor, Cap, Black Panther, etc. Even if their take was what was most likely and little different to most other media to feature these characters in current pop culture, there was just more there for me.

Seeing Banner used as the tech guy but also secret weapon hasn’t been done to death or the only direction you could realistically have expected for the character to have gone in this. And that’s owed to the Hulk having a long and rich history in the comics and other media from which to draw from. The Guardians technically have that, but they were so minor before the film, the simplistic takes based on the film became the default and I knew that within five seconds. Hence their scenes felt like going through the motions whenever they were talking.

Everything else in the show though I really enjoyed. I’m not going to call out the show for doing Green Goblin, Lizard or Black Cat wrong because the nature of the show simply didn’t demand it. the project called for some recognizable and colourful Spider-Man villains that could be practically realized on stage and fight the Avengers. Venom comes with baggage and is kind of too similar to Spider-Man is spectacle is all you are going for and Doc Ock or Scorpion would’ve been way too expensive. So who else are you going to have lead the villains besides the Goblin, who’s abilities allow for aerial stunts and the like? Felicia I grant you could’ve been switched out for the Shocker or someone, maybe they felt they should have at least one other female villain somewhere in the show besides Nebula.

I didn’t care though. Seeing Felicia at all in other media is generally a treat for me and seeing her realized in live action for the first time ever (in a comic book accurate outfit no less) just put a grin on my face as did seeing her duel with Black Widow.

In fact the entire Spider-Villain brawl was the highlight of the show for me and I didn’t even know it was going to be in the thing. As each villain showed up me and my friend were squealing under our breaths. If only they’d had one more villain though we could’ve gotten ourselves a Sinister Six.

How about Spider-Man himself? He was mostly done well too. Now he was obviously influenced by the USM cartoon version of Spider-Man so he sounded like Drake Belle...but a way more tolerable not really annoying Drake Belle. There was also only one moment in the show he was made to look the buffoon. Technically there was another when he was figuring out how to ride the motorcycle but that was an excuse for some impressive stunt work so it’s forgivable.

Speaking of stunt work...they straight up had Spider-Man swinging around the stage at various points, coming close to the audience and thwipping at times! It was spectacular and sensational. He even had an aerial tussle with the Goblin on his glider. That officially makes this more successful than Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark in that regard. They seemed to save Spider-Man swinging around for big moments of the show too, like they knew that was going to be the most impressive thing about it.

They also mercifully didn’t make Spider-Man sellout to the Avengers or Iron Man in any way. Iron Man isn’t treated as his Dad and he and Spider-Man barely talk to one another. Equally whilst Spider-Man is an Avenger in this and is rescued by them, it’s exactly once and he is shown to hold his own as an equal with any of the team. In fact he’s arguably the MVP of the Savage Land battle when he gets the wand.

He also has the best line of the show and one of the best I’ve ever heard from Spider-Man in general. I’m paraphrasing but it goes like this when he’s addressing Nebula (IIRC) after removing the wand from her:

“With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility. And you don’t seem like the responsible type.”

I question how 55 years of Spider-Man comics elapsed with the character never saying that before this stage show!

Besides Spider-Man the character I enjoyed the most in this was Iron Fist.

I’m not a huge Iron Fist fan, I actually find him kind of pointless whenever he’s not teamed up with Luke Cage. But the mere fact that he showed up at all, that the producers cared enough to use him when he hasn’t been in a movie and kids would only know him from the USM cartoon showed there was a respect underlying the production of this show.

More poignantly these less than 30 minutes of stage time Iron Fist got in this did him better than the entire 13 agonizing hours of his Netflix show and to be honest even his much improved second season. The bare minimum anyone wanted out of this character was him to wear the suit, light up his fist and kick pull off some cool martial arts moves.

Netflix instead gave us boardroom politics for practically a whole season whilst this stage show nailed it in 5 seconds. The action choreography was especially great with him in fact and whilst his costume was unique to anything I’ve seen in the comics it captured the gist of his comic book outfits. In fact I’d go so far as to say that this might be the best Iron Fiat outfit ever!

Hulk and Groot were well realized through actors using stilts and I’m actually surprised they made Hulk the show stopper. The whole show was building towards his transformation. Maybe they just realized if he was always there they’d win too easily. I prefer to think the producers just liked Hulk that much.

Over here in the UK, obviously the MCU is big. But for most of the last 50 odd years Spider-Man and Hulk were far and away the most popular Marvel characters. Maybe that’s why they got the best moments in the show?

Iron Man was also used quite well. They respected that because he’s the most famous/popular MCU star not called Spider-Man they had to give him one big moment, but he didn’t steal the show or save the day or get more attention (outside of that moment) than anyone else the way it was too often in the MCU.

His big moment came from when the showmakers apparently either really liked the Happiness Gun from Maximum Carnage or really liked the Spirit Bomb from Dragon Ball Z because Tony’s super positive thoughts device was essentially the same concept.

[cosmicdaya]

my love | tom holland

{summary} : roommates/bffs to lovers au!

{warning} : just swearing

{word count} : 1.3K words

{pairing} : tom holland x reader

{requested} : its actually for my valentine @keepingupwiththeparkers! 

{type of story} : imagine

{author’s note} : here you go, @keepingupwiththeparkers ! i really hope you like it! i kinda wrote it in a rush as i was busy and it’s kinda short! plus, a big thank you to @dtftomholland and @thelazypangolin for putting in the effort to organize this dollar valentine! to all of you : HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!

masterlist | be added to my taglist

➳

A sigh left your lips as you opened your eyes. You felt a warm presence beside you, and it took you a while to realize that Tom was sleeping next to you. The sunshine streaming through the window made his face glow, making him look all ethereal. You moved few of your best friend’s brown curls from his forehead and smiled softly. 

You shivered a little as your feet hit the cold floor. Looking for something to wear, you spotted a pair of your sleep shorts and Tom’s black hoodie. Slipping those on, you went to the bathroom to freshen up and made your way towards the kitchen.

Before you started making breakfast, you scrolled through your playlist to play your favorite song. As the mellifluous tune of Ariana Grande’s Imagine played through your shared apartment, you prepared the ingredients needed to make pancakes.

As you hummed alongside to the song, you were running through the stuff you needed for the annual Singles Sleepover that night in your mind. The Singles Sleepover started as a joke between your best friends, Tom and Haz but ended up being a ritual every year.

Even though Tom was your best friend, there was no denying that you had feelings for him. When you told about your feelings towards Tom to Harrison, he has tried so many times to set the both of you up, but to no avail. You felt that Tom has always seen you as a best friend and those little gestures and kisses were nothing but a way of showing his platonic love towards you.

You heard the sound of footsteps approaching you and you turned around to see Tom. Handing him a mug, you stirred the batter for the pancakes.

“How are the pancakes going, love?” you felt him hug you from behind and you instantly relaxed in his arms.

“Better than you, I would say,” you smirk at him, as he lets out an exaggerated gasp.

After making the pancakes, you slid a plate towards Tom and he gives you a goofy grin. 

“You make the best pancakes, Y/N. I love you so much!”

“Thank you so much, but actually I love you more,”

“Nah, I love you more,”

“I would step on Lego for you,”

“Shit, you win this time,” Tom pouted as you gave him a cheeky grin.

“So, what are watching today for our sleepover huh?” you asked him.

“What about the new episode of Brooklyn Nine-Nine? I know you wanted to watch it,”

“You know me too well, Holland. By the way, Haz isn’t joining us this time right?”

“Yeah, he wants to spend today with Mia doing gross coupley shit,” he said, doing a disgusted face.

Harrison met Mia during his semester break last summer and those two instantly hit it off. They were literally a match made in heaven and you could only imagine that you and Tom were like that.

Standing up, you brought your plates to the sink to wash it. Then, you remembered that you had to ask Tom about dinner. 

“Hey Tom, wha-” you turned around to see him standing close to you. You could smell the strong scent of mint and cinnamon and his deep brown eyes had a magnetic force that was strong enough to pull you in. He leaned towards you and you swore that your heart was gonna jump out of your chest.

Shit, is he gonna kiss me?

Oh god, is he?

You closed your eyes as you tried to calm down your nerves. Tom wasn’t stopping and the moment your noses nearly touched, a shrill tone rang through the house.

Startled, both of you pulled away from each other. Tom picked up his phone and noticed that Haz was calling him. Muttering a string of profanities, he answered the call reluctantly.

“Yeah, mate...Um, sure... yeah. I will see you there,” he ended the call and turned to you. You still haven’t recovered from his sudden move towards you and now you had no idea on how to react now.

“Um, love I’m sorry that I have to leave now. I promised Haz that I would help choose a gift for Mia. I promise that I will help you set up for the sleepover tonight, darling,” he said as he slipped on his jacket and sent a small wave your way before stepping out the door.

Plopping yourself on the couch, you touched your face that was getting super hot and let out a soft sigh. A heavy feeling settled in your chest as you only thought of one thing.

What the fuck just happened?

➳

“Really, love? You are going with that?”

“Yes, and this is my final decision,”

“Oh God, Y/N, pizza and wine do not go well together,” he shook his head, a smile etched on his perfect face.

“In the Tom way, it doesn’t but in my way, it definitely does,” you responded smugly. He let out a loud laugh, his eyes gleaming with adoration for you. He picked up his wine glass and held it up in the air to make a toast.

“To another year of being single and miserable!”

“Hey, so are you saying that being with me is miserable?” you prodded, a teasing tone to your voice.

“Oh, how can I be miserable when I’m with you, darling?”

➳

After three boxes of pizzas and one too many glasses of wine, both of you were splayed out on the couch binge-watching Brooklyn Nine-Nine and Game of Thrones. 

“Tom, don’t you think that Jake and Amy look so cute together?” your eyes fixed on the screen.

When your question didn’t elicit a response from him, you nudged him to get his attention. A frown was evident on his face and he seemed to be thinking very deeply.

“Hey, Tom, you okay?” you shook his shoulders a little and it made him snap out of his trance and focus on you.

“Mhm yeah?”

“What were you thinking about, huh?”

“Its nothin’, love”

“Come on, tell me please...,”

“Do you really want to know?” you eagerly nodded your head.

“Okay, here it goes. Y/N, I think, no I’m sure that I have been in love with you since the day I met you. You have never failed to amaze me and I’m so grateful to have you in my life. You helped me through so many, stayed with me through thick and thin and also successfully put up with me. I absolutely gone crazy for you and I really would love to be more than friends. So, will you be the Amy to my Jake?”

You felt as if time had stopped and it was just you and Tom in the whole universe. He was in love with me the whole time? How did I not know about about this?

You were way beyond shocked to formulate a proper response in your head so you just sat there gaping at him. This lead to Tom thinking that he botched this whole proposing thing and he ruined his friendship with you.

“Oh love...if you don’t like me it’s totally okay. Please don’t fre-”

You cut him off by pressing your lips against his and slid your hands around his neck. Tom was surprised at first but he deepened the kiss and placed his hands on your hips. 

Crawling onto his lap, you started grinding against him, just as you let out a moan. He broke your kiss as you both looked at each other, panting heavily.

“Love, that was...amazing. So, you like me too?”

“I have always liked you, dumbass,”

“Wanna go to your room and continue?” you asked him, lust evident in his eyes.

“Sure, baby.”

➳

[howlsmovinglibrary]

So i noticed you reblogged a lot of got. I followed you bc of your book reviews. I wonder if you read ASOIAF? It'd be cool for you to review it. And also it'd provide me see your stand towards the writing of the last season, & your perspective towards Arya as retconned Night King slayer, the dull (and abusive) romance bw jnerys, jon's character assassination and the lack of his POV, and the show being Dany's show (at the expense of other chars).

Oh wow anon, it’s very rare that I get asked to go off, but I’m more than happy to take you up on the invitation to rant!

In answer to your first question, I have read the first book of ASOIAF, but unfortunately I personally feel George R.R. Martin’s strength is his plotting, and now that the show has kind of unmasked the plot of those first books I find it difficult to slog through his writing style, just because it’s not suited to me. I got to 100 pages from the end where Ned Stark is wondering whether or not he’s gonna die and was like…I kind of know how this ends.

As for my manifold problems with the writing of this last season, I have them, although they don’t seem to be lined up with yours exactly. I have placed this under the keep reading tag, because Long Post. And Spoilers.

Arya

Ok, so as for the Arya plotline, I actually didn’t mind this. I realise it goes against a lot of the material of the books (which I haven’t read), but I think that however much of a retcon it is it makes a lot of logical consistency within Arya’s storyline itself. I was personally getting to the point, with Arya going around Winterfell and not really doing much, of wondering “why did she go to assassin school again?” I think that her getting to kill the Night King validates a lot of her plot arc, whereas before her training was slowly becoming useless and irrelevant to the current situation the writers had put her in - of course this goes out of the window come the last war.

I would actually argue that this decision, bar its illogical and rushed execution, had elements of why I loved GoT’s more established plot twists. You had a strong fantasy genre trope, the Chosen One, in Jon, and then reality intervenes and breaks it. Jon is trying to fight a fucking huge dragon, and is therefore, logically, preoccupied. So someone else gets the kill. I liked that. I mean, it seems like prophecy has just been UTTERLY DISREGARDED in this entire season rather than twisted or subverted, so I guess if we’re feeling particularly generous (which no one is) it might even be “making a point”.

 And yes, we haven’t seen any of her assassin powers over the course of this season (because the writers are retconning her into a nicer ‘antihero’ and not outright eviscerating psychopath), which makes me wonder why she even has them. But I’m actually ok with her getting the Night King kill.

And I’ll dream of the alternate universe where Arya kills Cersei wearing Jaime’s face, actually utilising her skills, getting her ‘green eyed’ kill, and fulfilling Cersei’s prophecy.

Danaerys

So, I hate Danaerys, but I don’t really agree with your viewpoint of her. I don’t really feel like this became ‘her’ season at all. In fact, I feel like this season was just a lesson in how to gaslight a woman into madness and relegate her entirely from her own fucking story.

I will outright state that, I wanted Danaerys to go Mad Queen. I think her character has had problematic elements from very close to the beginning: regarding her sense of entitlement which is not underpinned by an actual competency in regards to ruling, her idealism, and her tendency as a white character to weaponise the brown people she essentially colonises for her own goals. These are not the reasons D&D give to justify her ‘madness’. In fact, they say she’s always been mad for punishing abusers. It just shows now…because of a bad break up.

Danaerys’ “descent into madness” was so badly written that I get mad just thinking about it. It essentially comprises all the men around her having conversations with each other saying “I think she might go mad”, and then her doing a Bad Thing for no discernable reason. This is 1. BAD WRITING, because SHOW NOT TELL. Also, NARRATIVE CONSISTENCY. If you have to have Tyrion outright narrate what you are retconning as her evil past, which is what he did in the final episode, you have not written a consistent plot. Viewers are not stupid. And 2. It’s just awful in terms of gender. Literally, Dany is a woman who becomes isolated and the men around her pathologise her as mad rather than communicating with her and allowing her the agency to authorise her own existence. It’s like The Yellow Wallpaper. There’s so much gaslighting! Everyone says she’s mad for thinking people will betray her as they betray her in the same breath! Jon says he loves her and then punishes her for desiring him! It’s just absurd. I wanted this to happen and they still fucked it up.

Once her sexual desire is just for her and no longer consumable by the male viewer, because its incestuous, and her ambitions outstrip the men around her, suddenly she’s evil. 

And do not get me started on all the awful racial connotations of her story a) being fuelled by the pointless fridging of the only named black woman and b) being utterly endorsed by all the people of colour within the show unquestioningly while all the ‘good’ white men suddenly have their doubts. The way Dothraki war cries were basically used as background music to signify evil savagery made me sick. They literally weaponised race as a way of connoting fear and evil. The fact that her “evil speech” was basically a straw feminist recycling of her liberation rhetoric in a way to condemn all her thoroughly understandable and initially intentions from the very beginning was just a way to validate every Incel’s fear about SJW discourse. Instead of, I don’t know, CRITICISING HER AS A COLONISER. Maybe unveiling her hypocrisy? Nope! All black people are evil and will never question orders because they have been consistently stripped of their humanity! They are a faceless army of non-whites! And oh yes, all women are evil for wanting to enact violence on those who want to abuse them!

Honestly, I think this season of the show has been as much at the expense of her character as anyone else’s. Because it’s not been written well, or believably, and it feels like a complete reduction of the very real potential she had as a critique of imperialism. She’s just a mad woman. 

Jon

I can’t really talk that much about Jon. I kind of cover it above. I’m not sure if you think Jonaerys is abusive to Dany or to him, I would argue the former because of the gaslighting. 

But I will say, he must’ve taken his refresher course in Stark Honourable Stupidity after actually being competent in Season 7. According to D&D’s logic, if he had simply slept with Dany, a woman he loves, she wouldn’t have gone mad. It’s only in GoT that I can justify incest, but he should’ve taken one for the team. 

And maybe kept secrets better.

Just…the show in general

Really, I’m just so disappointed with the show in general. The plot, like Jaime’s characterisation, is so profoundly circular.

We still have an iron throne. We still have an utterly corrupt council elected through nepotism (although I guess we’re supposed to like them now?) Fuck, we still even have a wall even though ALL THE WHITEWALKERS ARE GONE.

Everything was so rushed and irreverent to the point of incompetency - I mean, everyone has seen the coffee cup. Prophecy and foreshadowing was utterly disregarded (I’ve spared you my Jaime Lannister rant because you didn’t ask), nuance was completely lost. I cannot believe that Cersei’s death was an anticlimax, that she didn’t do anything in that final battle but shed a manly tear, had barely any lines of dialogue despite the fact that she is one of the strongest characters of the entire series. And yet EURON GREYJOY got a triumphant death. It is so disingenuous. I really don’t think the fanbase would’ve been that hard to please but it seems like everything was denied us in the name of ‘subverting expectations’.

And however well shot the battle scenes were, I found it profoundly boring because there was no real motivation to drive the action. It was just screaming, and death, and oh yes some gratuitous rape because that’s what every viewer is here for, right?! I watch Game of Thrones for the character intrigue, not the violence or the blatant misunderstanding of what “authentic medievalism” entails. The fact that I watched the finale of my favourite show and did not cry once - me, who cried four times in a single Critical Role episode - is just a testament to how hollow and heartless the writing became.

[reikiajakoiranruohoja]

The Illusion of Power: Game of Thrones' biggest flaw

There is a great article comparing Steven Universe and Game of Thrones together, comparing the maturity by which both discuss interpersonal conflicts. Sadly for those hoping that the show meant for adults might come out on top, SU wins by a landslide.

Like most shows meant for adults, Game of Thrones doesn't understand the difference between mature and adult. Adult is sex and gore, but it isn't mature. Mature is being frank and honest about topics without falling into stereotypes. This is why a children's show can be mature, but never adult. But which is more valuable? I'd say maturity.

Game of Thrones has a lot of problems, from misusing POC characters to frankly disgusting plot changes. But that is not what I want to discuss today. Instead, I want to look into the biggest difference between the books and the series.

The way power factors into how conflicts are solved.

A Song of Ice and Fire is at its core, a subversion of a lot of fantasy tropes. How good the subversion is varied from topic to topic, but the purpose of the story is to showcase a more realistic fantasy world. Warts and all. Game of Thrones began with similar tropes, but after season 4, the quality of the writing slipped badly. It slipped towards the very thing ASOIAF was subverting in the first place.

Notice how the character stopped being savvy politically over time, relying more and more on brute force to get things done. The more they stopped being savvy, the more the universe bent to allow it. Previously, brutes were easily defeated by trickery, see the Red Wedding for a great example.

The more they became brutes the simpler the conflicts became. Instead of the High Sparrow basically leading a group of tired peasants against the constant warring, he led a bunch of fanatics in the show. Because they were religious fanatics who tortured Loras, Cersei was justified to burn them all by wildfire.

Even though that would be political suicide and Jamie earned his moniker of Kingslayer for killing a king who -planned- to do that. But in GoT, Might makes Right. Cersei defeated the Faith Militant by destroying them, thus it was justified.

This might need not be brute force, though. Look at Arya, she literally left her assassin training unfinished, because her want for revenge is so great. Instead of understanding the very grave duty the faceless men have, she instead simplifies it all by learning what she needs and then leaving. This is once more justified.

It also shows in how she handles the Freys. The revenge for the deaths of her family isn't a long form plot as she plans and executes it, it is barely a scene. Because GoT doesn't -do- complex plans anymore, even for climatic moments in a character's life. Arya is so badass now that she defeated the Freys as a -given.-

Or the way Littlefinger is killed. Sansa uses the testimony of her Greenseer brother as proof when Greenseering is in no way a legal method of finding out the truth even in the North. Littlefinger is killed basically on 'I say so' premises because Sansa knows he is guilty and the audience knows he is guilty. In-universe, it was a total kangaroo court, justified by Sansa having the ability to do so.

Not to mention the deaths of every single character that is not 'needed.' Myrcella, Tommen, Rickon, Shaggydog, Summer, etc. These characters don't get any true justification or revenge for their deaths. They don't truly matter to the story.

Even if the show is gory, it isn't mature anymore. It doesn't allow you to truly get into the heads of the characters and see their plots. Instead, where the show can, it will on purpose straighten any bends by the way of the plot. Instead of the Long Night being a long drawn-out siege over multiple episodes, it is over in one. With minimal losses of main characters. The horrible moment of certain death creeping over the characters was instead simplified into one battle. A battle which made no sense to be fought at all by the Night King OR the White Walkers.

Instead of just razing the world all around them, the undead bad guys targeted Winterfell and agreed to a fair fight over it. Because that is simpler.

This is why Steven Universe won in the article over the 'adult' show because GoT isn't mature. It doesn't allow the audience a chance to watch plans unfold or good strategy being used. Instead, it spoonfeeds the audience the same story most adult shows do, might makes right and thinking over your actions and planning are for weak people. Truly strong people make up simple plans and win by charisma and luck alone.

This is just my own take on the series, but I feel it was important to say it.

[thousandeyesand-one]

Tagged by @naomimakesart

■What are your top 3 favorite houses of Westeros?

HOUSE TARGARYEN. I mean Hello! 👀

HOUSE STARK. The Ice to my favorite fire house!

HOUSE DAYNE. Extremely underrated & unexplored I would love to know more.

■If you could live during one era in GRRM’s universe what era would it be? (Age of Heroes, Valyrian Empire, Conquest of Westeros, Dance of Dragons etc.)

I'd probably be like either a weirwood & live through all of these eras lol or I'd be a child of the forest secretly surviving since dawn age at the isle of faces or something! Coz I can't choose one era 😜

■What is your favorite episode/scene from the Game of Thrones TV series?

Battle of the Bastards, Loot train attack, Tower of Joy, First look at Ser Arthur Dayne 💜 basically every time arya is on screen. But I guess S05E04 holds a special place in my heart that whole episode was about Subtle hints at jon's Parentage/Subtle-mild hints at Jonerys future magical babies/ & had perhaps my most fav scene in the show of dany & Ser Barristan Selmy bonding over Rhaegar! 

"Rhaegar never liked killing, he loved singing."

■What ruler do you think brought about the most change in Westeros, be it good or bad?

Jaehaerys I Targaryen, the Conciliator. Alysanne Targaryen, the Good Queen. I think they were the Obama's of the 7k literally inherited the realm from Maegor who almost crumbled the dynasty & the realm but they rebuilt it to last for two more centuries. While you asked Good & Bad I'd like to mention for 99% of good that Baehaerys did there was 1% of bad done by him too. The Iron Precedent of 101 A.C. that establishes male inheritance over female which single handedly caused DOD, Blackfyre Rebellions & is still a problem! If only Jaehaerys would've listened to Alysanne & made daenerys the heir! Listen to your wives Men! Make it a habit!

■If you could ask GRRM one question what would it be?

In a shitty, patriachial world like Westeros, where it is more than clear that men have build & sustained their kingdoms & legacies through Acts of War or Revenge or Want & Need to secure power. Why are women like Daenerys, Arya & Cersei criticized as would-be Mad or psychotic/Too far gone or Already Mad characters?

■If GRRM could write a short novel/series about one other family or historical time (besides the Targaryens) in his universe what would you want it to be about? (My choice would be Nymeria’s Journey!)

Good choice Naomi!👌

I would like to learn more about The Daynes man House Dayne! They are so peculiar, mysterious & any reader of asoiaf knows theres more to that house that is important for the endgame than what we know! More about this family dating back to the Dawn age & the era of the rule of Kings of Torrentine. More about Ashara Dayne & her eldest brother who is still unnamed what is his name? How did he actually look like if his son has valyrian features? was he a snack just like his younger brother?.. you know.. important questions like those needs to be answered!

■What was your first introduction to ASOIAF/Game of Thrones? Did someone tell you about it, did you see it online or did you come across it at a store/shop?

My cousin told me about the book series but I was busy with my studies at the time so I couldn't pick it up. But then the show happened & he told me about it too so I watched the first season before reading the books. Then I picked up my Jaw from the floor after watching S01 & straight away bought those books. & THAT'S HOW MY LIFE ENDED!

■What’s one thing that bothers you about GRRM’s series?

I think it's the doylism that bothers me. It has always bothered me I am a Tolkien nerd & that man wrote stories beyond human capacity & error. Middle earth is as fantasy as fantasy can be & even though J. R. R Tolkien was inspired to write his stories by the service he did in military during war his story isn't a doylist one, maybe mild references here & there but nothing as serious as asoiaf. I feel like doylism complicates everything in this story! (P.S I also never was much of a history student Biology was Life!)

■What’s one thing you unabashedly love about GRRM’s series?

The impossibly, irrevocably, unattainable & unfair high expectation of men (selective men) that GRRM has created. I mean good luck to myself on getting in a relationship or getting married coz you aint never gonna be Ser Arthur Dayne awesome or Rhaegar Targaryen & Jon Snow Broody, Melancholy sexy!

■What are your feelings about the prequel series in development at HBO right now for the Long Night?

I really really love Bran Stark & how he is connected to the rich 8,000 or longer history of Kings of Winter & the actual nature of this world, all the stuff that predates back to Dawn Age. First Long Night is something I would definitely love to watch, Fingers crossed am sure I'll like it! Also because valyria came into existence right after the First Long Night so this series only gives me hope for a Valyrian Freehold Prequel THAT WHICH I TRULY WANT!

Now tagged by @chillyravenart

Here goes..

■Which Westerosi castle would you like to live in?

Starfall, Dorne. Duh!

■Would you rather be a rich and influential lord, born into wealth and privilege or would you rather be someone who wields power from the sidelines, like Littlefinger?

I'd rather be born rich & influential because I know myself I won't be another cuckoo Lord or lady of the 7k. Plus it seems like anyone like Little Finger or varys who rises from sidelines have to sell their souls to the Satan with zero sense of humanity & everything being a race for power.

■Pick one: platinum hair or purple eyes?

I'll take purple eyes because I have jet black hair & purple eyes just compliment the fuck out of black hairs!

■Based on a tag I made once, based on your physical features, which part of Westeros/which house do you belong to?

In dorne probably House Martell.

■Who do you think will actually defeat the Night King?

I think Bran is the one who is truly going to defeat Night King.

■Three people you think will die in season 8?

Night King, Cersei & Varys. Can I add a fourth? Melisandre too.

■What would you name your dragon/direwolf?

My Dragon would be called Tzarax & my Direwolf would be called Amaris which means Child of the moon. She'd be an albino without red eyes maybe golden eyes!

■How must Ser Pounce be avenged?

Ser Pounce's daughter should train to be a faceless assassin & return all badass with many faces of cats & avenge Ser Pounce roaming around the red keep biting the hell out of anyone because Valar Mewghulis. All Men must be biten.

■Whose POV chapters are your favourite? (If you haven’t read the books... skip this and hang your head in shame lol jk jk jk)

My fav POV chapters are Bran, Dany, Jon, Arya. In that order!

Hang your head in shame lmao👏😂

■Your favourite ASOIAF/GOT antagonist? 

Varys. This dude is going to burn in the seventh hell for all the bs he has unleashed upon just about everyone he has ever come across. I would name LF too but unfortunately it seems Varys outlived him so yeah The Spider & his webs are deadly as they come.

My Questions are:

1. What is that one moment or situation in asoiaf or GOT Tv show that inspires you positively?

2. YOUR ONE TRUE SHIP?

3. What is your favorite, ride or die character? CHOOSE ONE, ONLY ONE!

4. If you were to be the Ruler of Westeros & name Seven fighters to your Kingsguard who would they be? (They can be from the current generation of asoiaf or any fighter from any era, choice is all yours!)

6. Your own House sigil, house color(s) & house words?

5. What are your views about Robert's Rebellion?

7. Which is that one Character you wish had more screen time on the show (or) had a POV in the books?

8. Imagine Red Keep School of Witchcraft & Wizardry, which houses would the sorting hat sort these characters into? { Arya, Jon, Daenerys, Bran, Tyrion, Robb, Jaime, Cersei, Sansa, Rickon, Gendry, Joffery, Margaery, Brienne, Pod, Tormund, Hound, Missandei, Greyworm, Bronn, Sam & Gilly }

9. How do you prefer to watch the Final season? With a partner or spouse / alone by myself with no one to bug me / go to a watch party or bar episode events.

I'm Tagging @chillyravenart @naomimakesart @beautifuloutkasts @drakhus @phoebemaybe @mamadragon-daenerys @blue-roses-and-red-rubbies @northernlights37 @tomakeitbeautifultolive @toaquiprashippar @daenerys1417 @submarinesofpacific @crystalmusezz @ anyone who would like to do this i'd like to know your answers!

10. Nobody knows for sure how this story ends, but what is your ideal end to this story?

[jmhwritesstuff]

That writer ask game: #'s 6, 13, 17, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 33, 34, 38, 44, & 45. :D

Holy.. thanks @missvalerietanner xD

6.   Single or multiple POV?

I prefer single POV most of the time. But in cases like the Throne of Glass series, where I was invested in (almost) all the characters, I didn’t mind multiple.

13.  Describeyour writing process from idea to polished

Um … a lot of the time (in the past anyway) my ideas stem from a single character, or sometimes I’m lucky enough to have a title before literally anything else. I’ve come up with titles before that just sent my brain into overdrive and THEN the story ideas came after. Otherwise, I note things down, such as character descriptions, some archetypes, possible names, etc. then I build the hero’s purpose and create the plot from there. 

I’ve never done a complete outline for a book; my brain just can’t seem to make it that far. So I make a bunch of notes about random shit and then just pants it. This probably has a lot to do with me never finishing anything.

I don’t have an exact process. A lot of the time everything remains in note-form. And, to be honest, my approach to a story is different depending on what I’m trying to write. 

17.  Whatwriting habits or rituals do you have?

I wish I knew! I’m too unfocused; I’m always changing the surroundings that I write in, or what I have in arm’s reach that I might need. Sometimes I listen to music, sometimes I don’t. Sometimes I refer to notes, other times I completely ignore them.

I guess the only things that stays the same is the font type/size I write in.

23.  Favouriteauthor

At this point in time, Sarah J Maas. But for her Throne of Glass series, not ACOTAR (at least not the third book or the novella).

24.  Favouritegenre to write and read

I like to write Fantasy and Contemporary. I try to dabble in other stuff but I’m not very good at it. And I love YA Fantasy/Fantasy. There’s a lot of hills in Fantasy that I will gladly die on.

25.  Favouritepart of writing

Emotional or intense scenes between characters, whether it’s the hero and their friends or love interest, or the good guys vs the bad guys. It’s just such a rush getting all the angst or anger or hate or intimacy on the page. Even fight scenes - I love writing fight scenes.

26.  Favouritewriting program

I just use Word. Always have.

27.  Favouriteline/scene

From something I’ve written? 

He wanted to find whoever had murdered the woman he loved, and he wanted to watch them burn for what they had done. For the hole they had left in her chest when the soldiers had found her. For the beautiful soul they had reaped from her body. 

For the gaping emptiness they had wrought upon his life now that she was gone. - The Divine

Love that moment, and I was so into it that it’s become one of my favourite chapters. 

28.  Favouriteside character

Probably Ronan Quintus. The excerpt linked doesn’t do him any justice at all, but he plays such an important role in the universe of The Divine that to go into it would just ruin everything. In fact, I think the excerpt I shared has a spoiler in it if you read carefully. 

29.  Favouritevillain

ROURKE. That evil, slimy bastard - I love him. And also Kane … oh man, the levels of psychotic he’s waiting to bring down on the world.

30.  Favouriteidea you haven’t started on yet

This one! But I’m keeping it at a distance for now because I have other stuff to write and finish first. But one day … 

31.  Leastfavourite part of writing

Constantly. Getting. Stuck. 

33.  Haveyou ever killed a main character?

Yes. Lots of times. I try to make sure it makes sense for the story, though, and not just kill them for the feels and tragedy of it all. I like tragic heroes, but it has to be in the right context. 

34.  Whatwas the hardest scene you ever had to write?

When I first wrote Freefall (all of which, by the way, was difficult to write) there were two scenes that broke me, and I had to take a week or two away from the story just to get back in the right frame of mind to even consider continuing it.

I don’t see the point in keeping this spoiler-free so … the first was the suicide scene, and the second was Lexi’s panic attack when she realises that she’s about to lose everything she waited her whole life to have. 

They were two scenes that resonated with me so deeply that I’m not sure I could even begin to explain why. That novel is extremely personal to me, more so than anything else I’ve ever or will ever write. There’s a lot of raw emotion, and it’s taken me 10 years to look at it again and say, “It’s time to re-write it.”

38.  Weirdeststory idea you’ve ever had

I don’t think I’ve ever had one, if I’m being totally honest. I like reading weird and crazy stuff but it’s not really something I consider a strong point in writing. I think I’m too straight-laced to try writing anything weird or funny!

44.  Howmuch research do you do?

Okay, time for the shame …

I barely research unless it’s something very specific. While research can be important, I’m definitely of the mindset of just allowing yourself to be creative and just write what you want to write. There are plenty of ways to mark certain things you’re not sure about as you’re writing (and go back to it later), but I don’t like to keep stopping just to look something up. And I don’t believe that people research absolutely everything before they start - I called bullshit on that with a teacher once and I stand by it. 

I find the problem with research is that it never stops. At most, I like to read a little bit about creative writing to see if I can apply certain methods to my ideas, but it kinda ends there.

45.  Howmuch world building do you do?

… again, not a lot. And for someone who writes Fantasy, that’s a bit of a hindrance. I get judged for this one quite a lot actually and it sucks. 

I made a proper effort with The Divine because, even objectively, the world was small, it didn’t make sense, and there was no depth. All my focus went to the characters, but they ended up in a world that may as well have been four walls and a roof. I’m definitely not at epic levels of world-building, but I’m better than I was this time last year for sure.

[raelenel]

I haven’t decided on a blog name or cute tag line yet

"The night is dark and full of terrors" I woke up with this quote repeating over and over in my head. The quote is from a Game of Thrones episode where the "Red Lady" or Melissandra is pregnant with Stannis Baratheon's child and ends up giving birth to this shadow demon who goes and kills Renly Baratheon (a brother to Stannis and Robert who is in line for the Iron Throne) with the face of Stannis. All a little dark and twisty honestly. Now. Why I woke up with this particular quote on my mind makes me wonder, why the fuck. I haven't watched GoT since the new episode on Sunday nor have I read any theories about Baratheons lately (Yes... I read GoT theories between patients, don't judge). I don't remember what my dreams were about last night either but this quote for some reason is haunting me today. Lets keep writing and maybe i'll have this great revelation and figure out why it's stuck in my head. So I like to think my life is somewhat comical and people always tell me I should have a TV show. Well, I'm a chubby nurse with no TV connections and definitely don't have a face for TV, I don't even think I have a face for radio at this point so, blog it is!

Let's get to know each other a little bit. Or you can actually get to know me since this is my blog and i'll probably never meet you. Same same. So, I'm Raelene. I'm a 30yr old VERY SINGLE mom to two perfect girls; Kenadie who is currently 9 and Emery who is currently 5. Did I mention they are literally perfect? This si where I post a photo of them buuuuut I don’t know how yet so sit tight and when I learn to not be computer/tumblr dumb, I’ll show you just how gorgeous my crotch fruit are! 

Notice the emphasis on the VERY SINGLE, heyyyyy *eyeroll emoji* I guess this is where I give you back story on that. I married my high school sweetheart back in 2007. Shit out two kids and left him in 2015 because he was fucking my friend. Super great right?! Since then I've dated here and there but have only had one serious relationship which lord have mercy has ruined me mentally and emotionally more so than the end of my marriage did. Now, that doesn't mean i'm completely unavailable emotionally (heyyyy) but i've got some baggage just like the next chubby girl looking for love in all the wrong places, maybe just a little more. Weird story actually is that even though Tyler (the most recent ex) ruined me, we're still weirdly close friends*shoulder shrug emoji* That's a whole other post we can go into if y'all ask enough about it. 

So a little more about me. I still live in band tee's and converse. I love emo/indie music but if you get in the car with me and let me shuffle all the music on my phone you'll get anything from Marilyn Manson to Hillsong United. I have weird taste in music haha. But my go to is definitely emo/indie. My favorite movies include Breakfast at Tiffany's, Definitely Maybe, annnndddd uhm maybe the Harry Potter series. I'm a big Potterhead, way into Game of Thrones, I like to watch reruns of shows because i'm afraid to get into new ones for fear of hating it and wasting brain cells. Sometimes I don't realize the words that come out of my mouth until well after I've said them which seems to not always work in my favor. I'm a family medicine nurse and a hopeless romantic.

Should you continue to follow this you'll quickly realize that I am scatterbrained as fuck, I sometimes get very dark and twisty because I have what my doctor likes to call "debilitating and uncontrolled depression and anxiety" that I choose not to treat with SSRI/SNRI's, half of the time I don't think I'm making any sense whatsoever and the other half I'm patting myself on the back with how smart I am, and sometimes I'm just sassy. It'll be a rollercoaster but I can promise you that at some point I'll make you laugh, I'll make you question this crazy life the universe has given us, and I may even make you cry. Not just with my stories but what I hope is relatable words to touch you, your soul in some way. We all need a person and I truly believe sometimes that person isn't going to be right in front of you every day (thank you technology). I have made some of the best online friends that I go to with more of my life than my best friends I see every day.

So lets journey together, yeah? Lets see what shenanigans we can get into. And finally, welcome to the shit show!

-R

[renegade-is-in-my-blood]

It’s been a tought week for Starks. I’m sure we can all agree on that. We stand 2 Hero Starks. Two true legends from both Marvel and Game of Thrones universe.

Tony Stark and Arya Stark.

Just a couple of hours since I watched Avengers:Endgame and wrote my many thoughts about that in my Avengers: Endgame point by point article, I found myself setting my alarm clock to early morning time (thank you time zones) and watching very anticipated battle of Winterfell.

Again just like 2 times before already as in my Lets reflect on Game of thrones s08e01 and Lets reflect on Game of thrones s08e02, I have many thoughts about this one episode as well.

Clearly many spoilers ahead.

No leaked episode this week. I’m 99% sure it’s because everyone was so occupied with endgame and couldn’t handle any more emotional trauma. We all tried to save some time I guess.

I don’t know if it’s because I was expecting some true horrors but I was left kind disappointed. Sadly I was expected to bawl my eyes out and sure I did some embarrassing screaming but that’s pretty much it. I feel like all of the deaths from episode 3 were very well expected.

It was still great episode…

BUT. In my opinion it was over too quickly. We’ve been introduced to Nigh kings army in first episode of Game of thrones. Eight seasons ago. Eight years ago. Everything has been leading up to this major fight between the living and the death. And it’s been done in 82 minutes? Ehm.

I hoped we could see the fight for at least 2 episodes.

Well to be precise I hoped we could SEE at least something.

I get that it’s the Long nigh and the darkness adds to suspense and to drama of the death. But JFK I had no idea what was going on most of the time. My site is pretty bad as it is and I literally got headache from squirting my eyes so hard to make some poor shapes and find out who’s dead and who’s kicking ass.

We can all agree that the lightning was terrible.

I just love the tons of memes about Game of thrones poor lightning that are swamping the internet. My favourites:

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First of all, who thought it was a good idea to put Gendry on the front line?

He is a badass fighter yes, but still he’s no soldier, he’s the head smith and they have another war coming up literally right after this one is done. How could they make him so unguarded? They deal with ridiculous politics most of the time and yet they make this stupid strategic move?

Or maybe they know he’s Aryas boo now therefore his plot line is protected for future purposes.

Same goes for many other characters that you just knew wouldn’t die this episode.

Their stories are protected.

Like Jamie for example. I’m sure he’s gonna reunite with Cersei so no matter how dangerous situation he found himself in, he just walk right through. I couldn’t say the same about Brienne. She was knighted last episode and I believed that was the highlight her character could get. My heart stopped like 3 times when it almost looked like she was gone. Now we know for sure she’ll play important role in next 3 episodes otherwise the writers would get rid of her by now.

Podric is another one I was sure would die in this battle. Incorrectly. He’s the sweetest, incredible singer I love him and he has magic dick but can somebody please share with me what is his true purpose?

  Lyanna Mormonts fate was sealed the moment she refused to stay in the crypts and Jorahs when he picked up that sword from Sam. Still my baby girls Lyanna is the best and she went out in big big big style.

Theons death was sort of useless this way. What did he expected to happen when he ran to the Night king like that? You can argue he was just trying to buy Arya some time or that he was fulfilling his destiny. But he had no idea Arya was coming and therefore his suicide mission left Bran on the open.

Theon Greyjos character developement was piece of art and he will be missed.

You remember last episode right ? The “crypts are the safest” were mentioned at least three times. Of course the death from the crypts would rise. So obvious. Next.

Danny and John. You can feel the tension and I can’t wait till we explore that further in next episodes. I get their plan was to stand back with dragons and wait for Night king himself to show up but how well could that have worked out? There were parts of the fight where I was screaming dracarys myself. Like when the living army pull back from the field and you had the dead standing on the other side of the fire , just standing there waiting, that was the perfect moment for dragons fire to strike. Such a wasted opportunity. I was so mad.

Both Danny and John played very small role in this episodes. Sure they did some badass shits like Danny fighting in combat besides never training or John having a screaming match with a dragon. I was expecting much more from both of them.

My humble prediction was that John or Danny or preferably both would kill the Night king. You know to fulfill the Azor Ahai prophecy. I never imagined it would be Arya and I feel kind of ashamed for underestimating her this way.

Looking back it makes perfect sense.

Although it’s kinda funny that everything John was able to talk about for so so so long was Night king and how they all need to fight him. And yet he doesn’t get to be the one to kill him but his baby sister does? Poor guy.

Sadly I don’t even remember Johns personality before the dead army so I’m really curious about that one.

Arya Stark single handle saved the world with the dagger that started it all. I was mesmerized by that library scene. How she moved so quietly to be even able to sneak up on the freaking Nigh king and his sidekicks.

And with an apparat concussion?

She really is that bitch and finally everyone sees that.

I adore the fuzz Arya is causing these days. First of all having consensual sex on Game of thrones, what clearly upsets many people. Secondly having the authenticity to fulfill the prophecy of Azor Ahai that people argue was not hers to do so.

Arya know death. She fought her, cheated her and even became her. I can’t stress enough how poetic that is.

We have seen so many characters in this show whose main purpose was to form Arya or to keep her alive like Beric or the Hound. Hound loosing his shit with the sight of fire, his one true fear, made this harsh bastard personality so humanly. I even felt so sorry for him.

I felt so nostalgic with the mention of Syrio. I’m so glad they changed his catch like from the book one “fear cuts deeper than the sword” to “what do we say to god of death? Not today.” Fits better.

What scares me now thought, is what happens with Arya now that the deed is done. I can’t dare to hope for happy ending for her even though I wish for my girl to finally rest.

Game of thrones once again made me realize how focused it is on female characters.

The best characters ever written has to be females of GOT. The sophistication, the bravery and the brains they all posses is unbelievable.

What would the men of GOT do without them this episode?

Men of GOT stood their ground and did great job. But it was the women of GOT that made a change.

Melisandre setting Dothrakis weapons on fire or setting the barrier on fire. Late reminding Arya of her true purpose. Sansa might seem useless this episode but she was ready to fight her way through her dead relatives. Daenerys’s strength and courage is unquestionable not only in this episode. Lyanna taking down a giant while being crushed to death !? Excuse me? And finally Arya the saviour of the world.

I just can’t wait for next episode when everybody finds out it was 18 years old girl who saved their asses.

Episode 4 looks promising.

    Game of Thrones s08e03 reflection It's been a tought week for Starks. I'm sure we can all agree on that. We stand 2 Hero Starks.

[wineanddinosaur]

The 15 Best Drinks-Focused TV Shows — and What to Sip While Watching

Binge-watching a favorite television show is a universal hobby, and that was true even before the pandemic. While we wouldn’t recommend binge drinking while doing so, pairing a can’t-miss series with a must-have drink is a natural combination. With moderation in mind, of course.

As it happens, many of the best television shows of all time are also the booziest. We’ve seen everything cross our screens at this point, from iconic television bars to cartoon characters who would handily drink anyone under the table — and even entire drink revolutions spawned by popular shows. The Cosmo, anybody?

Pull up your streaming service, find your favorite show below, and get ready to pop open a bottle or mix up some cocktails with these perfect TV-drink pairings.

15. ‘Succession’

Viewers of “Succession” were likely introduced to the idea of “hyper-decanting” (read: blending, as in, with a blender) your wine prior to serving. But beyond that questionable idea, the show has plenty to offer. “We think ‘Succession’ is the best show television has seen in a long time — from the acting, script, and the epic music, it’s a winning combination,” says Joseph Mintz, co-founder with Amanda Victoria of Siponey canned cocktails.

“Amanda is a huge fan of Scottish actor Brian Cox, who plays Logan Roy, and I would love to share a dram with Mr. Cox,” Mintz says. Not a bad idea, considering that Cox enjoys enduring internet fame for the video pronunciation guides for Scotch brands he made with Esquire. Pair with a hard-to-pronounce single-malt Scotch — only the best for the Roys!

14. ‘Dead to Me’

The Liz Feldman-produced dark comedy has gone through two seasons thus far, with a third en route. And while many shows have unofficial drinking games, “Dead to Me” and Netflix posted an official one before Season 2 dropped this spring. Highlights include drinking twice if someone drinks on screen, or finishing your drink if “Karen almost ruins everything” (trust us, it happens).

Wine is very much what’s being glugged on screen, though you’ll find a cast of characters willing to open a bottle of just about anything on this show. But for a pairing, go with a gluggable red or an orange wine, which gets name-dropped in the first episode of Season 2 by way of a sub-Reddit about menopause.

13. ‘BoJack Horseman’

Everything you need to know about “BoJack Horseman” the show, and BoJack Horseman the, uh, horse man, can be summed up with a scene where he’s looking for a drink to forget his problems, gets served vodka, and taunts the bartender in response, “What is this, breakfast?” For Ben Rojo, brand ambassador for Don Papa Rum, such a scene encapsulates the show’s ethos. “’BoJack Horseman’ is my favorite show of all time! It’s such an honest and human depiction of depression, through the lens of a giant cartoon horse-person,” he says.

For Rojo, the ongoing theme that setbacks are not the opposite of progress is a highlight, and one of the best reasons to watch. “The characters’ sublimation of trauma through substances is a little on the nose,” he says, “but there’s something oddly gratifying about watching Princess Carolyn down a bottle of ‘Catbernet’ after a rough day while sitting on your couch and doing the same.” “Catbernet” it is, though Cabernet will do in a pinch. Just don’t try to go drink-for-drink with BoJack.

12. ‘Entourage’

“Entourage” was either the show you loved or the show you loved to hate. But either way, you probably watched. And the freewheeling, big-spending lifestyle certainly lends itself to some fun drink pairings.

“So, with ‘Entourage,’ there’s one guy making all the money and a bunch of other people orbiting him and starting shenanigans; it’s like Seinfeld only everyone is super hot, and like all my favorite trash TV, it’s easy to get hooked whether you want to or not,” says Erica Long of Sourced Craft Cocktails.

She suggests going just as big as the characters might. “Watching ‘Entourage’ screams an occasion to be a little over the top to me and that means bubbles,” Long says. “A bottle of Moët and a bottle of Dom because Vinnie Chase would never pick just one.”

11. ‘The Simpsons’

“The Simpsons” doesn’t pull many punches with its social commentary, and the world of drinking is taken head on, too. Barney Gumble is the poster boy for a love of drink gone wrong, as is Duff for the ubiquitous big-brand beer that will sacrifice all for more profits. We’ve heard there are one or two scenes where Homer indulges in a few of the beers himself.

Then there’s Moe Szyslak and his eponymous Moe’s, a neighborhood dive if there ever was one. Until, that is, the smash success of the Flaming Moe, a drink Moe stole from Homer. Duh duh duh. If you’re feeling fancy (and have a fire extinguisher handy, just in case) make a flaming cocktail and you’ll feel like you’re right there at Flaming Moe’s, too. Otherwise, channel your inner Duff with Schlitz or Natty Boh.

10. ‘Archer’

If James Bond drank even more than he already does, followed even fewer rules, and generally caused even more mayhem, the result would be Archer, Sterling Archer. The title character of the show by the same name is famous for his one-liners, and none more so than, “All I’ve had today is, like, six gummy bears and some Scotch.” The man enjoys himself a drink or 12.

In the show’s world, Glengoolie is Archer’s Scotch of choice, a drink known as being “for the best of times.” At other times, though, Archer lambastes the use of sour mix in a Margarita, and praises the virtues of the Bloody Mary, saying: “Forget the glass, Woodhouse, just give me the pitcher. For I am a sinner in the hands of an angry god. Bloody Mary, full of vodka, blessed are you among cocktails. Pray for me now, at the hour of my death, which I hope is soon.”

You have plenty of options, clearly, for your drink of choice while watching. Of course, if you want the evening to be the best of times, Scotch is the way to go.

9. ‘It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia’

Pull me a pint at Paddy’s Pub and I’ll be a happy man. Just don’t make me do any Charlie work for the privilege.

“’It’s Always Sunny’ is the greatest show in general but drinking might help you get on the gang’s level a little easier,” says Nick Sadowski, distiller at Philadelphia Distilling. “The show comments on every hot topic in society, usually with some part of the gang taking one side and the other taking the other side.” The show is edgy, delving into controversial conversations that others might steer away from. What makes it work is that the characters have these un-P.C. conversations in a way that showcases their ignorance and obliviousness to the rest of society. “All the jokes are ultimately on them — with them or without them realizing it — and it’s the reason they’re still making the show 15 years later.”

Sadowski says he doesn’t want you to overthink your pairings here. “Rip some shots and drink a Coors or Hamm’s, or whatever you can find, bud,” he suggests. “Eat some rum ham and a hard-boiled egg while you’re at it.”

8. ‘Game of Thrones’

Raise your hand if you own an “I drink and I know things”  T-shirt. There’s a few of you, at least. Meanwhile, in Westeros, the only thing more common than a dead royal is a dead royal who liked to drink too much. Siblings Tyrion and Cersei Lannister enjoyed more than their fair share, as did, of course, Robert Baratheon. But few characters didn’t imbibe heavily in the show, and who could blame them? Living in a world rife with betrayal and back stabbings, murders and coups, dragons and White Walkers and … yeah, that Dornish red looks pretty appetizing.

With the popularity of the show and its penchant for booze, some official options for your pairing pleasure were made available, including partnerships with Ommegang beer and Johnnie Walker Scotch. When you don’t want to go corporate, though, just fill up a beer stein with the strongest suds you can find — all the better if you opt for an old-school barleywine or mead.

7. ‘Futurama’

In the “Futurama” universe, robots must heartily consume alcohol as fuel, and the underpinnings of that metaphor are fairly clear. “Looking at Bender as a character representing the ‘working class everyman’ it’s easy to see why he’s literally fueled by alcohol,” says Sother Teague, beverage director of New York’s Amor y Amargo. “For him, it’s an absolute necessity to perform optimally. For us, it’s often a crutch to help cope with the things we either can’t change, disagree with, or don’t understand. Obviously this is an exaggerated characterization but one worthy of a little navel gazing.”

Even so, there’s room for bartenders in the show. “It’s also comforting to think that the role of bartender is still a valuable member of future society as portrayed by iZac, a parody of the beloved ’70s era barman of TV’s ‘Love Boat,’” Teague says. He’s going everyman with his suggestions, too, calling for you to find your favorite lawnmower beer, or what he prefers to call hammock beer, more properly fitting how he’d partake. “And on the side, Jägermeister! Plus, there’s a scene where iZac pours Jäger.”

6. ‘Absolutely Fabulous’

For Aubrey Slater, a bartender who’s worked at many New York bars over a 25-year career, British sitcom “Ab Fab” is the perfect call back to the neon-tinged ’90s, when “the economy was great, everyone had money to spend,” she says. “I was also a go-go dancer at Limelight and Palladium, and had a lot of friends in the vogue-ball houses. One of them introduced me to “Absolutely Fabulous”!

Slater describes the characters as icons who epitomized the decade as independent businesswomen, who were also fashionistas and party girls. “They had a frosted glass double-door refrigerator constantly stocked with Veuve and Bollinger, and they drank Stoli Martinis like water,” she says. As a perfect pairing, Slater recommends the Stoli-Bolli, a tall glass of Stolichnaya on the rocks topped with the Bollinger Champagne, which was created on the show.

5. ‘Billions’

In “Billions,” the only thing more important than having entirely way too much money is ensuring that the world knows it. Then there are a few subplots, like achieving those perfect moments of comeuppance, and planning new ways to screw over your rivals.

Both Bobby Axelrod and his cohorts, as well as Chuck Rhoades, know their way around a bar. Most typically, a whiskey bar, stocked with absurdly expensive bottles like Michter’s Celebration, or highly touted imports such as Kavalan. By all means, feel free to join in with a bottle of either. Or, just grab your favorite special-occasion whiskey from the shelf and pour yourself a dram of that.

4. ‘Sex and The City’

“Sex and the City” launched the Cosmopolitan to stratospheric heights, of course leading to its inevitable crash back to Earth. The Toby Cecchini-created drink is now often wrongly derided as a symbol of the darker years of cocktailing (when Appletinis and Long Island Iced Teas were the most interesting cocktails you could find).

Of course, there’s more to it than that. “’Sex and the City’ is the ultimate grab-your-girlfriends, veg-out-on-the-couch, and finish- off-your-favorite-bottle-of-booze show,” says Effie Panagopoulos, founder of KLEOS Mastiha. “That show was directly responsible for a huge increase in Cointreau sales in the ’90s, since it was a love letter to the Cosmopolitan and the city it was created in, New York.” For a classic combo, pair a “SATC” viewing session with a Cosmopolitan.

3. ‘Mad Men’

Ah, the good ol’ days of corporate life, when the two-Martini lunch wasn’t merely acceptable, but expected. From costume to set design, “what I loved most about ‘Mad Men’ was how incredibly detailed and on point every aspect of the show was,” says Alex Jump, head bartender at Death & Co Denver. “Of course, as a bartender, too, I appreciate how much attention they paid to the drinking trends and fads of the time, from how vodka was perceived, to Heineken’s role as a newer beer in the U.S. market.”

The bottle of whiskey at the desk channels Don Draper better than anything, and points us to the best show drink pairing. “Of course, I mostly drank whiskey while watching the show, particularly American whiskey for me,” Jump says. “I wasn’t trying to keep up with the guys on ‘Mad Men’ though, so sometimes I’d even enjoy mine as a Highball rather than slammed back in one quick gulp.” A modern solution!

2. ‘Scandal’

“Scandal’s” Olivia Pope, played by Kerry Washington, lives a very stressful life, putting out one political fire after another. And in times of need, wine is her friend indeed.

Crystal Sykes, a cocktail and culture writer based in the San Francisco Bay Area, says she thinks about “Scandal” every time she writes a story with a personal element. “There’s no Black woman alive who hasn’t felt gutted by being a superwoman placed in the shadows,” she says. “So, whenever Olivia Pope, at the brink of mental and emotional collapse, took solace in a glass — or bottle — of Bordeaux, I could almost swear it was cascading down my own throat as she gulped it down. And so did my homegirls.”

Sykes says that “Scandal” gave her friend group a reason to meet up on Thursday nights. “[We’d] drink wine and talk about how no matter how hard it may be to be a Black woman in today’s world, we’ll always be standing in the sun together,” Sykes says. A bottle of Bordeaux it is, then.

1. ‘Cheers’

“Cheers” depicts the platonic ideal of the neighborhood bar, the local, the “third place.” Sometimes — and we cannot stress this enough — you really do want to go where everybody knows your name.

“’Cheers’ is the ultimate drinking show because, well, it’s entirely set in a bar!” says Paul Hletko, founder of FEW Spirits. “It’s a caricature of bar tropes, sure, but the characters are all lovable but flawed, and, to a large extent, ‘Cheers’ was my first view into ‘bar life’ as a youngster unable to go to bars.”

Surely, this is no time nor place for a craft cocktail. No sir. “I would drink old-school for ‘Cheers,’ with a shot of FEW Spirits Straight Bourbon Whiskey and a High Life,” Hletko says. Beer and a shot sounds about right.

The article The 15 Best Drinks-Focused TV Shows — and What to Sip While Watching appeared first on VinePair.

source https://vinepair.com/articles/best-drinking-tv-shows/