#or that the start of season 2 relies on their “I'll find you in every universe” connection or whatever. i felt uncomfortable about that for

[waterberry-strawmelon]

man, i wish The Good Place would've been more upfront about how the entire "soulmates" concept was literally just made up by The Bad Place for Michael's torture experiment. the show never outright acknowledges this, and yet, towards the end of season 1, a huge portion of the conflict and torture comes about through figuring out who likes who and the moral implications of confessing love and the expectations of love versus "dying alone" as it were. and i'm actually kind of frustrated they never brought it up again! the show takes soulmates as a real concept up until like...the series finale, maybe? if i remember correctly?

if only the show's creators had taken one teeny tiny step forward and been more overt about our society's views on love literally equating to torture. but alas, alloromantic folks will never take that extra logical step. alloromantic people accidentally imply all the time that, on some subconscious level, they understand that the societal weight we put on romance is oppressive and stifling. AND YET. it's still too scary for them to outright denounce romance, because it holds too much social and cultural weight (as both a concept and an institution). so that's fucking frustrating.

it's like...yes, you're literally so close to understanding the problem here, guys. im begging you to just make the connection and say it outright.

[ultrastrawberrydreamsmonster]

On my own, more cynical side, I'll kinda share on why this is very true.

Destiny 2 is why I don't have Twitter anymore, Destiny 2 is why I don't use reddit anymore, Destiny 2 is why I only use discord sparingly, and mostly in private groups. For every singular friend I've made through the game, I've had a dozen awful interactions, often resulting in me leaving them behind. weather it's bigots, shitty sherpas, egotistical people (both the ones that are good at d2, and bad at d2) or just people who think slinging slurs like it's a MW19 search lobby is fine when you're teaching a group of queer teens how to do Deep Stone.

destiny 2 is not worth your time if you don't already have friends who enjoy it. Do not LFG outside of learning something, or if you don't have any friends on, especially in big LFG. For every nice or even neutral person you'll find in D2lfg, there's some asshole following them around who's going to call you every insult imaginable. I used to be that kind of person, unfortunately. Find someone who is kind, and will teach you, and stick with them. They will probably seek out more new players, which you can try to get along with.

Starting fresh in destiny 2 is like being a stray kitten in a sewer. if someone doesn't find you and scoop you up, you will NOT learn any of the "harder content", you will not be able to play anything in the endgame, and you will be almost constantly underleveled and out of touch with the "meta"

For a game that asks you to pay $15 every 3 months, and $60 for every major expansion that takes less time to finish than it takes to finish Borderlands 3, it has awful player directing. It doesn't tell you what to do after major campaigns/seasonal stuff, and basically rely solely on other people to tell you where to go. And on top of that, the community is a grab bag of egotistical ten-thousand hour suck ups, morons who pretend to know the game, and shitty sherpas who yell at people who don't actually know anything. It's awful. It's a rough time.

Sorry for the absolute dump of awfulness, D2 is a stressful game with a miserable community. Though, if you need a safe harbor, there's always someone out there. While I'm in the off-season, not really playing, there's tons of people who care. if you feel like dropping by, come hang out and talk with some of us ^^

Lots of talk around Destiny 2 recently so I want to clear the air on my opinion on something.

I’ve never quit a game over technical issues. I’ve played Anthem, Dark Souls, Elden Ring, Overwatch, and all kinds of other games that have struggled with bugs, server issues, and otherwise, so Bungie having a conniption is debilitating, but it’s not gonna make me quit the game.

I will however quit a game over its shitty community. Recently, Destiny’s community has become more and more insufferable as time has gone on. Not only in game, with the constant toxicity and hate I’ve been getting from people in game, but outside too. Streamers have become truly intolerable and people are spewing constant negativity and actively hating on Bungie for caring about Queer rights and frankly its burning me out to the point that I just don’t want to keep investing time in a game where I feel like I have to interact with these people to continue my enjoyment of a game.

The game can still exist if technical issues exist. The community will actively drive people out of this continues.

[mysteryshoptls]

SR Cater Diamond Apprentice Chef Personal Story: Part 1

"Master Chef"

Part 1 (Part 2)

[Kitchen]

Master Chef ― Cater Version ～Let's Make Potato Galette 1～

Cater: Hmmm…

Rook: Hm? Whatever could be bothering you, Monsieur Magicam? You seem dreadfully unhappy.

Cater: Oh, c'mon, Rook-kun, that's a bit of an exaggeration. My practice dish was just a little off, is all.

Rook: That dish you're creating… Ah, it's a potato galette. Is it something you find not to your liking?

Cater: Ahaha, nah, it's not that I hate it or nothing. Just thinkin' that it's kiiiinda boring.

Rook: Fufu, it does give off the feeling of a simple, home-style dish.

Cater: Yeaaaah. Like, if I was gonna be taking this class anyway, I woulda wanted to make something that'd be a hot smash on Magicam, man～

Cater: Rather than some dish where the dough is just spread out in a circle and baked, wouldn't it be more exciting to eat something that looked super awesome?

Chef Ghost: It's true that it's not an extravagant dish, but… If you bake it beautifully, you'll be able to create something that'll look entirely mouthwatering.

Chef Ghost: And also, it's because it's a simple dish that it can be enjoyed with a variety of flavors.

Cater: I see～ Maybe the appeal of this dish'll actually be the fact that I can flavor it with different seasonings.

Cater: Come to think of it, there was a time where people took videos trying to experiment with different food combinations, and those got pretty popular.

Cater: Setting aside the talk of making it look fabulous… I guess that's one way to cause a stir on the internet.

Chef Ghost: Right, right. Then, let's go ahead and master how to make a potato galette!

Cater: Okay, let's go ♪

Rook: Très bien! I'll be cheering on your attempt, Monsieur Magicam.

Cater: Thanks～ Good luck to you too, Rook-kun ☆

Chef Ghost: You're pretty good at this, Cater-kun. Do you cook often?

Cater: I just help out a bit with a few of the easier dishes for Heartslabyul's tea parties, is all～

Cater: And back home, I'd only ever do small stuff like making pancakes for my older sisters using store-bought batter mix...

Cater: Don't even know if I can say I made them good or anything. And for the most part, I'd just rely on the convenience of the kitchen tools to help peel and shred stuff.

Chef Ghost: Wow, but even then, you're pretty good with a knife. You're doing a good job slicing up the potatoes.

Cater: Y'think? Thanks ♪

Cater: Uhhhhhhm… So, once I finish cutting up the potatoes, I put them in a bowl filled with water, right?

Chef Ghost: Ah, you don't have to place them in water for this.

Cater: Eh? I thought that was a required step…

Chef Ghost: Did you learn that from helping out at home? Smart kid.

Cater: No, I just remember seeing it in a cooking video I watched once… Oh, but they might not have actually said why?

Chef Ghost: That reason we soak the potatoes in water is to prevent discoloration, remove dirt, and to help prevent burning it.

Cater: Ooh, so there really was a reason for it～ Cay-kun's a little bit wiser now ☆

Cater: But if that's the case, shouldn't we put it in the water, then…? If it gets discolored, it'll end up lookin' bad.

Chef Ghost: No need. If you soak them, it'll be more difficult for the potatoes to stick to each other.

Chef Ghost: There are times you'll need to, but… For a potato galette, we need to be able to use the stickiness of the potato's starch.

Cater: So, what you're saying is… If I wet the potatoes, it'll come out badly cause the dish'll fall apart?

Chef Ghost: That's right. You caught on quick!

Cater: So, even the way ingredients are prepared changes depending on what's being made, huh… There's a lot more to cooking than I thought.

Chef Ghost: If you start to grasp the reason behind each and every little step, maybe cooking will become more fun for you.

Cater: Hmmm… Well, even trivia posts do get a ton of traction online, so it wouldn't hurt to learn it, I guess.

Cater: But it's kinda hard to get excited over just slicing up the potatoes and baking 'em…

Cater: Eh, well, I've done this much already, so I guess I'll at least finish it up.

Part 1 (Part 2)

Requested by Anonymous.

[eolewyn1010]

LGBTQIA+ characters and representation in season 2 of Charité

I'm gonna talk about what's in the title, but first things first: Warnings.

Spoilers for all three seasons of "Charité". Duh.

This is all personal opinion and should not be taken for objective truth.

I'll do this by quality, not chronology, by which I mean I'll talk about season 1, season 3, then season 2, in that order.

Season 2, you know what that means: Nazis. Mentions of euthanasia, genocide, extreme homophobia, all that shit.

I'm gonna get babbly; buckle up. We'll be here for a while. I wanted to do this in one go, but that got way long, so I'm splitting it by seasons.

Let me start this off by admitting that I'm blatantly biased on this front because I'm helplessly in love with Charité's second season and its characters and, yes, the lovestory between Otto and Martin. But there are actually reasons for this - namely, season 2 avoids a lot of what makes me feel unwell about the LGBTQIA+ characters in season 1 and 3.

First and foremost, Martin and Otto both are fully-fleshed out characters who have their own agencies - and that is despite their lovestory being definitely their main arc during the season. Yes, we do see them spending time together, learning to trust each other, confessing their feelings, dealing with the daily threat of getting caught and brought to a concentration camp. But also, either of them is established in their own life experiences, their own social environments. Hell, Martin is only a side character, but we get a pretty good grip on him real soon. That he has a warm and trust-based relationship with both his bosses, that he feels he has a value, prosthetic leg be damned, that the war experience has left him choke-full of wry snark because he's too smart to be loud about his political opposition. Also interesting: He was an actual soldier, and then became a nurse, in opposition to Otto who was only ever a medic. I think you could make a pretty good point of him drawing a lot of personal consequences after his extremely traumatizing experiences.

And Otto - where do I even start? In the first episode, he's not remotely established as the character we are served later. We get this poor little uwu boy who's suffered sooo terribly from the war because you know, Nazis are people too and war is terrible for everyone involved. Otto is someone who smiles charmingly, does his patriotic duty, salutes in the right way, looks snazzy in a uniform - and he's the Aryan dream of every German girl. Tall, strong, beautiful; they didn't cast Prettyboy McCheekbones for nothing there. I get it; I like to look at his stupid grin and his baby blue eyes and everything. I just think he's neat. And so thinks Christel who blatantly stares at him when she sees him for the first time and hasn't spoken a word to him yet (and continues to have very superficial contact with him - she's the one who objectifies Otto, not Martin whom she accuses of that and whose bond with Otto relies very much on time spent together and trust built). They establish all of this - and then re-establish it in a queer context, when it's not Christel but Martin whose eyes linger for a second. And then he looks away quickly because whoops, Christel is allowed to gawk at a pretty man, but Martin isn't. It's such a tiny thing, but it does wonders for the world-building. And seeing how Otto functions in this world gets really interesting when we find out that he's in love with Martin - and with how honest he is about it and how his sister handles the whole thing, there's the implication that Otto (and maybe Anni) has known that he's gay for a while. And with that, this whole perfect German man act is just that, an act. Otto lives between perpetrators and has adapted, but he's also explicitly part of a persecuted group.

Also, within that role, they repeatedly allow him to subvert the expectations society puts on him. First time that shows up is when he tells Christel that, on the front, he's only ever served in the sickbay, and she quips: "Aw, and here we thought we'd get a real war hero." Which is a tease, the way she says it, but the implication is clear: If Otto hasn't hurt or killed anyone in war, he's not what the Nazis call a hero. No, he won't let that soldier take the fall for self-crippling without even trying to help him (it's a very stupid attempt, but his impulsiveness is something I love a lot about Otto, especially because it works out both in his favor and to his detriment at times). No, he doesn't judge someone for being married to a Jewish woman ("Can love be a sin?" - har har, I see what you did thar. Subtlety, thy name is German television). Yes, he'll yell at his sister for her passive compliance instead of minding his own business as a good Nazi should do. Yes, he'll screw masculine stereotypes and be the caretaker of a small child for half a year. For all the emphasis on the lovestory, a lot of Otto's queerness is established in how he acts and thinks, in how he accepts other people and himself in a way that doesn't value the Nazi standards of what makes a good person or a good German or whatever. His man is a cripple? He's about the strongest person alive, and also beautiful, thank you very much. His niece is mentally disabled? Well, she's the cutest baby on earth, fuck you. That woman whom he doesn't know at all who seems to be entirely out of it, emotionally and psychologically? And that makes her life less valuable why? I don't know how he has internalized this with the way he must have been socialized; maybe it is because he just can't fit the expected standard and always had to lowkey expect to become a name on a list of those who disappear into the unknown. But anyway, I love him for it.

Note also that, different than Therese in season 1, he very much gets to be proactive about his feelings - and gets a response. Not a universally positive response because Martin is scared as fuck, for a good reason, as we know. But he makes clear he reciprocates Otto's feelings, and they try to work around the daily risk of concentration camps, of castration, of degradation. Martin's arrest is only the tiniest fraction of what could have happened to him, and what happened to his first lover, and it's awful enough on its own. They both face that when they get involved, and while Martin goes from "we can never do that again" to "I'll take that risk", Otto goes from sweet-talking Christel and playing into her crush to basically telling her to go fuck herself. Despite what Christel and de Crinis and society have done to them, they actually both wind up at a point where they're not willing to be afraid anymore because they know that this whole fucked-up construct around them is not working in the slightest and will break asunder rather today than tomorrow. And they don't deny it anymore, either - Charité is rather sanitized in that regard; they're working in a hospital, not on the front or near a death camp. But at one point, Otto just plainly says it: "They're gassing people there." And that's something that, during and after the war, very few people are willing to admit, the sort and the sheer extent of the crimes committed by Germans.

So, and after all this gushing, I'll end on a note of critique: The drama. After all they have been through, when the war is already ended for them, when Berlin has fallen... Otto catches a bullet. I'm even pretty sure it's a stray bullet because they can't really have seen him up there, but we need to have one of our protagonists on the brink of death in the last few minutes. They don't go through with it, which, thank you; I wouldn't have forgiven them another Bury Your Gays after the trouble Martin and Otto had to go through to have a freaking happy relationship, but they like twisting the knife, and they couldn't resist repeating that subversion theme for Otto. *sigh* That's Charité for you. But I'm not made of stone and that scene of Martin carrying Otto downstairs kills me every time, so I'm lowkey willing to forgive them for that.

[bitty-bits]

Back In Action

DALL-E 2 Background (Prompt: Dreamy background painting with a checkered pattern grass and blue mountains in the distance), Emojis made for the SineTri Discord. Join us!

After a few months, I'm finally back doing this thing.

I'm back here probably cuz I do have a lot more to say than last time. Tumblr's embeds of posts don't seem to be very good, I've noticed. Oh well. Again you'll likely see me on that dreaded hellsite a lot more than here, but I'll still try to write here to maintain a tradition, and hopefully I won't be gone for too long again. Anyways here's what I've been doing lately.

New Computer

Yeah!

Without giving away too much details as for how this happened, I indeed have a new computer (notebook, specifically, as I've been used to the form factor my whole life, probably) and probably the first time it is almost on par with the latest high end specs, and, no memes, it has an RTX graphics card. What else can I say about it... well, using it so far has been a positive experience for the most part, my only complaint would be how "not good" the trackpad is. Cuz you know, I actually got used to drawing with the trackpad (believe it or not) on my previous notebook, which is still a pretty good notebook that still works and can still do a lot (I was able to play and beat Super Mario 3D World emulated on it at almost full speed, so I think that says something) so I hope whoever uses it next makes a good use out of it. I'd say outside of being "mid" (that's the Funny Word Them Kid's These Dayz R Usein' Right) its only problem is its battery doesn't really work anymore so it'll only work while plugged in, which is probably completely my fault, so I'm hoping to avoid this issue on the new computer. (Tip: There's an useful VBScript you can get and put it on Windows' "startup programs" folder that will show a message whenever your battery is close to 100% charge. Google it!)

Trackpad issues aside, I still have a standard optical mouse to use, but even then, It's still gonna take getting used to... using one again. I'm weird.

Cut it Out, Ninjin! - Preservation Efforts (Post-Warner Bros. Discovery Fiasco Update)

With all the clownery going down lately with the Warner Bros. + Discovery merger, the Ninjin cartoon series (my biggest "brainrot" of the year pretty much) unfortunately also fell victim to the "great cartoon purge" that happened as a result of WBD's terrible (and inefficient) cost cutting decisions. Fortunately, the timing for me to get into this series couldn't have been better, and at least the show staff got to finish a season right before the shitstorm, so finished material didn't go unreleased. That said we can only hope the series somehow makes a comeback or is revived in some form, as at least Warner doesn't own the Ninjin IP (as far as I'm aware).

With the series gone from HBO Max, YouTube and all of Cartoon Network itself (though not without a few exceptions still left here and there), it's important to remember that preservation is a must, and something to keep in mind from start to end in any project. Here's what a staff member at Birdo studio had to say on the matter (Portuguese):

for those who work on animated shows, for the love of god, don't forget to always keep a copy of the final versions of your scenes/episodes downloaded (and if you're the director, back up the entire series) cuz if we just rely on the son of a bitch companies and channels everything will be gone then we won't even be able to assemble an animation reel / portfolio afterwards

As I have shared in the first blog post, I have made an archive of pretty much all the CN Ninjin content that I could find, on a MEGA folder, which I've recently updated in light of the unfortunate news - Every episode is now available as MKV (Matroska Video) files with multiple audio channels (Original Portuguese, as well as the Spanish and English dubs!) which I plan to later still update to have English fansubs done by yours truly (So you don't have to stick to the... not very amazing English dub), you will also find the shorts (which I've already given subtitles!) and some comics too, which I still gotta translate.

I'll also make extra links for easier sharing soon.

We can't let the big corporations win again as they usually do.

You can buy Ninjin: Clash of Carrots (the game the series was based on!) on Steam here, and Pocket Trap's latest game, Dodgeball Academia, here!

Let's try to keep Ninjin alive. Please.

Do it for her.

Calimero Subtitles Project Returns

After staying stagnant for at least 2 years, interest in subtitling Calimero's 1992 anime by Toei Animation (easily my favorite Calimero-related media) ressurged. Likely due to me... having figured out what an MKV file even is and what it can have, as well as coming across what is now my favorite software for subtitle making in general, SubtitleEdit (Not very creative, I know), and learning about the more advanced, fancy subtitle formats a good chunk of anime (fan)subs use. Also the project expanded a little; it's gonna be more than just the subtitles over a single specific dub of the anime, actually it'll have most of the dubs ever made of the show that can be found. A lot of audio tracks in still considerably small files! I sure do love me some Matroska files. The current plan is for me to subtitle the first half of the series (26 episodes, "season 1", if you will) all by myself, while the second half is a bit tricky, as only the German, Italian and Arabic dubs have the entire series found. But I already have a German friend willing to help with those, and there are also a couple episodes from the second half in the original Japanese version found, so if you're fluent in any of these languages and are interested in helping out, feel free to tell me! Once the project is finished we will finally have one convenient place to watch this series, in a variety of language dubs, and English subs, and hopefully more people in the West will acquire interest for it.

My Channel for posting Video Game Music, CalimeroVGM on YouTube

Not "high quality rips" in the SiivaGunner sense, but actual VGM that either can't be found on YouTube elsewhere, or if it can be, the quality kinda sucks, or it's in a video with other tracks. I may have done a lot for SiivaGunner, and continue to do "high quality ripping" over on my music channel (ples suscribe), but I also have been contributing a lot to actual ripping and video game music preservation in general, and decided to make a channel dedicated to it (here), so I don't have to pollute my channel of miscellaneous whatevers, Lu9.2, which is already kind of polluted. So whenever I have any new rips, or even a few "experiments" with VGM, I'll put it on this relatively new channel. I encourage you to subscribe to it at least so I can get to 100 and get a custom URL, because I just am the weird kinda guy who likes neat looking URLs.

What I've Been Playing / Watching

Just in case people would want to know, I'd probably talk about it on Twitter anyways, but let's go:

Klonoa Phantasy Reverie Series

I love Klonoa. Babe, GIVE me Klonoa. Played the first game (original PS1 version) back in either 2015 or 2016, though I was already a fan for longer, but loved it. The remastered version is very charming and combines the best of both the original colorful PS1 version and the Wii remake. And with this I was finally able to experience the sequel for the first time, and again, a masterpiece. Wish they kept some of the classic UI for the first game and other minor details, but that aside, this collection needs to succeed. This franchise needs to succeed.

Lucky Star

After giving up on watching it in 2015 (I was watching the English dub and didn't know what type of anime I was even expecting, Oops) I decide to give this another shot, this time subbed. What I can say is - I enjoy. It's fun. I guess my tastes have changed over the years too.

More Stuff

Moving (Again)

Seems like I do that a lot, but hopefully it'll actually stick now. Some unexpected problems rose in the current apartment I'm in. Nothing too serious (though it's only a matter of time) but the new place will be pretty big I think. I just hope I don't lose anything during the moving process again.

Fonts For Fun

Sometimes I also try my hand at typography, mostly recreating stuff I see, and this year I've made a few (and posted some older ones I had) fonts just for the fun of it (though they probably are useful)

You can check them out here.

Where's Part 3 Of Closing Logos Extended By Jukebox AI?

Not too long ago after releasing Part 2 of my intriguing Jukebox AI series, already some of the more "peculiar" logo-obsessed (presumably) children started to "predict" Part 3, some eben by just posting what will be on Part 3, conjuring up facts, classic Greeny Phatom style. Told that guy to wait until August.

...and I really wish I could keep such promises but I really just don't find the time and energy to put into those videos, not to mention the upsampling process that I still have to put some of the samples through. Though it's less time consuming now, there's still the entire editing and visuals part. I'm doing these videos completely for free, you know. Unless you're fine with something half-baked, be patient.

Also there will be more Jukebox AI videos in general, not just the logo ones, I hope you look forward to those too.

Donald Alves' Original Flash Website Is Now A Progressive Web App

Yeah. Did this just for fun. And to see what kind of stuff I can do with PWA features in general. It's still not a full "installable" web app, but it should work as its own thing on your phone no problem. Don't know who Donald Alves is? Well, this is one of those things that you just had to be there at the time, dude.

Conclusion

That was a big one! Hopefully next post will come before Christmas. Maybe before Brazil's presidential elections too... oh god I'm scared

Bitty's Message of the Day

I do not like beans.

[fizzingwizard]

mv season 3 thoughts, no spoilers of course cuz i havent seen it, also pretty empty because of that too honestly, i am totally talking out of my ass here. this is "ive no idea when i'll get to see it so im stressing out instead" lol

i really did my best to avoid spoilers, but after the uk release, ehhh, i stopped being so strict xP i still havent watched much but when i come across gifsets etc I'm no longer avoiding them.

and the thing that worried me since the end of season 2 was this: there is no more canon moomin story after November. of course, there's an endless amount of moomin stories that are ripe for adaptation into the new show - but there isn't a guide for character development. And right from season 1, MV almost immediately made itself all about character development.

so the question was, can the creators of MV come up with an aftermath for November that will still feel true to Moomins? And since they rewrote November to be more suitable for their storyline and target audience, I didn't think that was impossible.

but chances seemed high to me that one of two things would happen: either they wouldn't want to start fan drama and would hold themselves back, creating something bland and forgettable, or they'd throw everything in their own storyline and make something sensational, but not very moominous.

trying to find the line between "being true to the source material" and "being true to our personal vision" is tough any time, but I think it's especially tough with moomins. just because every time I read the novels, i'm struck by tove's way of storytelling. the way she says things but doesnt say them, or is able to take things only so far without any sense of disappointment. she's a master of show-don't-tell.

and speaking as an American, there's just not a lot of show-don't-tell going on in our kids' media anymore. everything has to be frankly stated, summarized, and often moralized by the end of the episode.

in addition, particularly with kids media, everything has to be educational! don't get me wrong, kids learning stuff from their favorite programs is great. but it's every single one. where is the story they can just appreciate? not to mention you can learn plenty from any story if it's a good one. and you get to learn those things yourself, using your own skills and background, when the message isn't shoved down your throat.

needless to say i think american children's media sucks. (eta: feel a need to add i am mostly talking about young kids' media, and i'm aware there are some real standouts.)

moomins isn't american (thank goodness) but... it is modern. and it's being made to appeal to a lot of different people. i loved the first season because i thought it was truly artistic. it had its very own flavor. when i compared it with the comics and the novels, it certainly had a modern twist, but all the characters and plotlines still felt true to me. season 2 didn't reel me in quite as much, but I still enjoyed it a lot, and personally I would say the last four episodes alone carry all the rest. they're just so good.

and i'm afraid that what little i've seen of season 3 doesn't seem to hold up by comparison. the things i've seen and read... don't sound moominous to me. i wonder if, in trying to realize the whole cast more fully, round them out in a way that makes sense post-November, they've thrown away the unique philosophies that are the whole reason I, at least, love them. like the episodes are now relying on common tropes and looking for "lessons" rather than stories. or that feel obligated to create character development by rejecting or changing essential parts of the characters.

but once again i'm very aware that i am talking out of my ass like a fool. i always write my shit out and ive wanted to write this out for weeks but kept telling myself "wait till you see it, it makes no sense when you're just spouting theories" but what can i say. this is what comes of only being able to find clips and screen caps hahaha.

that being said. i dont expect to dislike the season. there's definitely stuff i've seen that i know i'll go gaga for. lots of really cute stuff. it's just that cute isnt enough xP or it wasnt before, anyway. i certainly dont expect the show to be tailored for someone like me (an adult ugghh *muffled groaning*). it isnt and shouldnt be. i just want it to feel quirky and philosophical in that unique moomin way. hopefully i will find out my qualms have been for the most part misplaced :)

[runner5ive]

Simon and Five! As requested by @swamp-y and @dorkylittleweirdo! 💕

Once again, the first time Five saw Simon there was a moment oh 'oh wow he's hot' until the very moment Simon started talking, and then Five was like 'lmao never mind!'

And in all honestly, Simon was the one they were most wary about coming out to, since he looks like the kind of dude bro who'd have issues. But he surprises them. You want men's running shorts, Five? Sweet, I'll trade you for those hot pants! Hey, look at this NB button I found on a run today! Here's a new shirt for you, better than that frilly thing you had to get from that swap shop. As far as Five is aware, Simon has never once misgendered them and it warms their heart.

Still, Simon is a terrible flirt. Always winking at them and making comments. But Five doesn't mind. In fact, it makes them laugh. It makes them feel... comfortable at Abel, more at ease.

Five spends most of their time with Simon and Jody. It gets to the point that it's almost unusual to find one without the others.

Five and Simon on runs together are terrible. They’re distractible and silly, the worst influences on each other. The two of them are always in quarantine together after runs because they are constantly getting scrapes and injuries. But at the same time: they’re amazing as a team. One just has to look at the other, and they know what the other needs. This is the only reason they haven’t been banned on going on missions together.

Five is like Simon's ultimate wingman. If ever he's trying to get with someone, he'd loudly declare to whoever it is how he valiantly saved the life of the Runner Five. Whatever he claims, Five will back it up.

But secretly, they're constantly making subtle hints about Janine.

Simon tried to return the favour of being wingman - knowing that there had to be SOMETHING going on with Five and Sam... but he was less successful.

Still, he never gives up.

At the same time, he is fiercely protective of Five. If he hears someone make an inappropriate comment about Five, he will happily throw hands.

The relationship between Five and Simon is nothing like a sibling relationship - there are too many suggestive comments from Simon for that to ever be a thing - but they platonically love each other so much.

And Sam might think that he knows Five better than anyone else - except, perhaps, Maxine who's Five's doctor - when really it's Simon.

Spoilers from S2M below the cut:

Season 2

S2 Side Mission 14 When they go on that run, searching for a treadmill, and Simon is talking about his gran and how crappy his childhood is, with a side order of Catholic guilt, Five ignores his jokes and just listens. Concerned.

That night, Five approaches him, making sure he's okay. He tries with his usual jokes, but Five stops them with a look. That's when they start telling him everything: about the foster homes, their own crappy parents, how they're pretty sure both of them are alive and are pretty sure they know what settlement they're in, yet they are not at all tempted to go and actually find them. Five was willing to take all this info to the grave, but Simon was hurting, and this was the only way they knew of to let him know that he wasn't alone.

Simon is surprised, but he never tells a soul about what Five told him that night. But it brings them closer. There's a deeper understanding between them: they had crappy families, but now they're each other's family, and that's all that matters.

S2M43 Discovering Simon was the traitor destroys Five. They were as certain as Janine that the traitor wouldn't be Simon. There was even a small part of them wondering if there was a chance they might have been the traitor - without realising or meaning to - before any inch of them could accept it was Simon.

S2M43They are hurt and betrayed and conflicted. When Jamie tells them to take Carena and run, they hesitate. But so much is going on. And they have to get the girl out of danger.

Five mourns Simon. They mourn the family they had become. It's not the same in Abel without him. There's not as much laughter. When his gear is shared out between the residents, Five makes sure to save some of the photos of them together, hiding them away.

Season 3

S3M10 So when he turns up, apparently alive and... not exactly well (he is missing half his face after all) Five is anxious and apprehensive. They don't trust him one bit. And yet they hear the pain in his voice, the regret. They listen to why he did what he did - about his illness and the certainty that he'd die without Van Ark's treatments. And they understand. When he insists they go, practically kicking them out, insisting the didn't tell anyone about him Five turns and seizes him in a hug.

S3M21 They keep their word and don't tell a soul. Not until Jody's in danger, being hunted down, and Five knows there's only one person they can rely on to help.

Five gets into big trouble for keeping that secret, Janine even threatens to Court Martial them but they don't care. The broken trust between Five and Simon is beginning to mend. There's always going to be a part of Five that can rely on Simon.

And even though everyone says that under no circumstances Five should trust them, Simon pulls through countless times.

S3M23 Simon saves them from Amelia.

S3M47 Simon saves them from Moonchild's mind control, and when he says “I’ll always come for you, Runner Five. Always.” Five knows he means it.

S3M48 Simon makes sure they get home, making sure they don't make the same mistake he made by running off.

S3M55 By the time they're in London, facing off Moonchild's forces, Five is starting to feel like perhaps... perhaps Simon can return home after all this. If he redeems himself, then maybe Janine will welcome him back. Maybe things can go back to how they were.

S3M60  But then the worst thing happens, and Five's heart is ripped from their chest.

S3M60 Simon's dying screams still haunt Five's nightmares every night.