#or that the island is genuinely a punishment for them. isn’t that so interesting)

[whitmore]

ok so the implication is that qniki and qrivers are criminals right. they’re getting real obvious with this the island is a prison metaphor huh

[seyaryminamoto]

Do you think canon Zuko has any understanding of the idea of duty? That he, especially given that he aspires to political power, should act like his status as Prince gives him certain responsibilities? That doing what's best for the for Fire Nation or the world might require him to do things which make him unhappy or uncomfortable or require him to make grave personal sacrifices? Does he even understand duty as a concept?

Oof. Complicated questions, thus, this sat in my inbox for a veeeery long time.

I honestly, seriously, genuinely... don't think Zuko truly understood, at any point in canon, what it really meant to be a leader. I know many of us (and I think you, too?) don't particularly like the comics, but in my opinion, The Promise did a surprisingly decent job at highlighting several problems left in the wake of the end of the war, and perhaps unintentionally, this is one of the problems: upon becoming Fire Lord, Zuko is remarkably erratic, unsure of his choices, even seeking advice from his FATHER, of all people, because he has no idea what he's doing.

In the most favorable possible view of Iroh, he taught Zuko to be a better person. I don't entirely adscribe to this belief, but fine, let's concede that he did, or else this answer would never end: not just because you're a good person, however, are you guaranteed to be a good leader. Zuko, as we both know, is far from the best person in the world, and he is prone to making impulsive, emotional mistakes that can cause harm and trouble, and typically, Zuko doesn't face the consequences of most his actions, or the narrative just pins the blame on someone else. When we see this sort of behavior in a real-life politician, the immediate reaction we would have is "this guy is awful at his job", and sadly, I find myself thinking that quite often when it comes to Zuko's canon tenure as Fire Lord.

So... what is Zuko's concept of duty? Going by his pursuit of Aang in the first two seasons, duty is a task given to him by someone whose approval he seeks (in this case, Ozai) and he must pull it off, no matter what, to gain said approval. By Book 3, this logic still applies fairly easily to how Zuko acts over Iroh: I've highlighted in the past that the main motivation for Zuko's redemption is Iroh, doing right by Iroh, making amends to Iroh, regretting how he treated Iroh. He points that out explicitly in Ember Island Players, he does it as well indirectly by bringing up Iroh first of all, when confronting Ozai: this is his main priority. Ergo... I'd honestly say it's safe to judge that this is what Zuko regards as duty, as what he has to do. Iroh wants him to be Fire Lord? That's exactly what he becomes. The difficulties and complications in this particular line of work are taken for granted, and so, we have an outcome that was remarkably well depicted in The Promise, despite that comic's many glaring flaws: Zuko gets swept back and forth, twisted left and right by all the pressures and responsibilities, because he has no idea what he's doing as Fire Lord, and no idea/experience in how to be a real leader.

As far as I can tell, the core of the matter is that nobody really seems to have taken Zuko all that seriously as future Fire Lord. Ozai, evidently, wasn't training Zuko to be his personal heir. Ozai himself is a questionable source of information regarding learning what it means to be Fire Lord, considering he, as well, wasn't raised to take that role, just as he didn't raise Zuko for it. Yet Iroh didn't exactly teach Zuko how to lead anyone either, as far as I can tell: his lessons were meant to be of a more personal nature, and even then, Zuko had lots of trouble accepting most of them. Iroh's firebending lessons to Zuko were typically stunted in the basics because he was hot-headed and rash about getting to the intense and interesting stuff...

So: neither Ozai nor Iroh gave Zuko actual responsibilities. Ozai gave him a punishment Zuko was trying to endure however possible, a punishment he wanted to prove himself unworthy of by finding the Avatar and "regaining his honor". Then, Iroh punished Zuko as well by giving him the cold shoulder in Book 3, then he escaped and Zuko did everything he did, after betraying Ozai, to prove himself worthy of Iroh's kindness once again. It's not actual duty, the way it is in Azula's case: no doubt, Azula wants Ozai's approval too, but she has the madman's trust when it comes to finding her brother and uncle, to taking down the Avatar, and to conquering Ba Sing Se, as far as anyone can tell. I do doubt Ozai gave her all these missions at once, but he gave her the resources through which she pulled off ALL of them: she had the firebending procession, she had a ship, she had a train-tank, she had mounts... Zuko had a rundown ship that looked like a 1:10 scale version of every other ship in the harbor back in the very third episode: he was being punished. In contrast, Azula is entrusted with a mission, with LEADERSHIP, while Zuko has no visible, tangible, objective experience with the latter (consider how Azula steals the Dai Li's loyalty from under Long Feng: when did we see Zuko pulling off something like this? Even with Jet, Zuko was more of an associate to the Freedom Fighters, and Jet was still the leader).

I've always thought Zuko wasn't prepared to be Fire Lord, and the main reasons are the ones you indirectly point out through this ask: Zuko doesn't seem to treat the throne as a responsibility, but as his right. I won't get tired of pointing out that this was NOT Zuko's birthright, he was NOT born thinking he'd be Fire Lord: he was born to the second branch in the Fire Nation family. We literally SEE the day in which Lu Ten's death is revealed to him. According to somewhat official sources? He's ELEVEN in Zuko Alone's flashbacks. I, personally, think he looks a little younger than that, but I think that's the official wikia age, no idea where they got that info but that's what it says. Meaning...

Zuko, objectively, only had been crown prince for FIVE YEARS.

Zuko was NOT raised, not by his mother, not by his father, with the belief that the throne would one day be his (Ursa is gone before Ozai is crowned and Ozai clearly wanted Azula for the job rather than Zuko).

And yet, when you backtrack to the show? It seriously looks like that was the case. He clings to the throne in Books 1 and 2 as though he had no other purpose in life, as though this was everything that was promised to him (in contrast, Azula only ever indicates wanting the throne in Sozin's Comet: Part One). Even when he's an outlaw, discarded and cast out, he STILL talks about the throne, as though most his identity were built upon the notion that he must become Fire Lord: why? How come? Within five years, he's crafted his entire existence around being the heir to the throne? That's... a bit weird.

And a bit wishful, too. Which is why I commend that the comics show him struggling as Fire Lord, if anything they should've had him struggling MORE than that, because Zuko is simply NOT prepared for these responsibilities. He never gave any indication, any sign, of seeing it as such. He sees it as his right, his birthRIGHT. Why? Why more people don't ponder how utterly strange this behavior is, beats me. But it really does bother me that Zuko built his entire existence around being Fire Lord in a very similar way to how Korra built her own about being the Avatar. I have very little praise to give LOK in general, but the premise of Korra learning she was a person, a human, and not just the Avatar felt like the perfect parallel to Aang's story, where he was very much anchored in his humility and belief that he was just "one kid", and his rejection of his duties as the Avatar was meant to change gradually as he learned to accept himself as he was. Korra, however, never fully hit the mark with this subject, in my personal opinion... much as Zuko doesn't hit the mark either, since the show's only direct attempt to "deconstrue" Zuko's clinging to the throne happens in one dialogue, and his attachment to the idea is built up again, right afterwards:

Zuko: And then ... then you would come and take your rightful place on the throne? Iroh: No. Someone new must take the throne. An idealist with a pure heart and unquestionable honor. It has to be you, Prince Zuko. Zuko: Unquestionable honor? But I've made so many mistakes. Iroh: Yes, you have. You've struggled; you've suffered, but you have always followed your own path. You restored your own honor, and only you can restore the honor of the Fire Nation. Zuko: I'll try, Uncle.

And there we have it. The only point in the show (that I can remember) where Zuko seemed to not feel worthy of the throne and questioned he should be the one sitting on it (RIGHTFULLY!), buuuuuuuut he goes right back to wanting it, right afterwards, based on how this single exchange was enough for him to be 100% determined to take down his sister, merely a few lines later.

As for his willingness to make personal sacrifices... some might say he was outright willing to die for Katara in the finale -- though I'll point out he was trying to redirect the lightning anyway, didn't do it as well as he should have, but he wasn't exactly, consciously, trying to DIE for her... --, some might say that he left Mai behind in the FIre Nation, and that as well was a sacrifice... but was it? We don't see him missing her, or suffering about her fate, at any point in time after SHE sacrifices herself for him in the Boiling Rock (my biggest gripe over this particular canon couple is this, tbh). I feel like the show generally presents Zuko's situation as somewhat... self-sacrificial? Especially in Books 1 and 2, and yet that's really not the case: it isn't Zuko himself who makes the choice of traveling to find Aang, it's a punishment inflicted upon him.

This particular view upon his circumstances makes it so Zuko is never responsible for... well, any of his choices? It's always someone else's fault, therefore, whatever he suffers through, there's always someone he can (and usually does) resent for it. Therefore... I can't genuinely think of anything Zuko sacrificed in order to come as far as he did. He was forced to let go of things by his father, typically, by Zhao as well, maybe, but even then, it's not like we saw that he has a super healthy and happy relationship with, I don't know, Earth Kingdom people (his only meaningful positive EK bond was with Jin, which went nowhere and goes forgotten after a single mini episode)? The Palace staff? The commoners of the Fire Nation (they just treat him like a hero and he seems awkward and distant about it anyway, like he can really just do without their worship)? He doesn't have other friends beyond Azula's own friends... thus, he doesn't sacrifice anything that really matters. And in a sense, some people might say he doesn't have to sacrifice anything at all: he already went through so much strife and struggle that why would he need to sacrifice anything else? But the thing is... you DO have to learn to make such sacrifices if you're going to be a good king.

So often, people who devote themselves to their jobs have to consciously neglect their families, to name one thing: Zuko neglects Mai and she explodes at him for it in The Promise, then he just tries to get her back at all costs in Smoke & Shadow, with no thoughts given to the fact that maybe he isn't ready to juggle both a relationship and the throne, that maybe Mai could be happier with someone other than him, someone who can give her the attention and relationship she's looking for... THOSE are the sacrifices I'd be referring to, personally, sacrifices where his happiness and peace of mind have to be set aside for the sake of something much more important than himself, and I expect that's the kind of sacrifices you're referring to, too. I seriously don't think he's ready to make them, and with the comics as reference, there's seriously no evidence to suggest he's prepared to accept these burdens that come with the heavy mantle of leadership and ruling. I've never seen any signs of him being ready for it, myself. Maybe I need to reexamine the show and see if maybe I'm missing something... but I don't really think I am.

The worst part, for me, is that Zuko isn't even doing the bulk of the things he's doing in pursuit of genuine happiness: he's doing it over a sense of destiny. He never stops to reason with that destiny, to wonder if maybe he doesn't need to be Fire Lord, if maybe he could have a life beyond that role. Book 2 veeeery briefly suggests he MIGHT be on his way to questioning that destiny, but as I've said before, I don't see the sense in Zuko's big change of heart after the Appa incident considering we don't really understand what he's learned, other than how to be the perfect nephew for Iroh, apparently. Zuko never really is happy, as he says in the show: his happiest moments are with Mai and they're only like a 25% of his relationship with her, everything else is a mess (and his relationship with her isn't exactly the core of his character, either). So, the way I see it... Zuko is even worse off than it looks at first glance. He's out to fulfill a destiny he has never stopped to reason with, a destiny he's 100% sure is his, despite he has only been on that path, objectively, for five years? Despite he wasn't raised all along under the belief that this was what he was supposed to be? If given a chance to be genuinely happy, what on earth would he even do? A lot of the growth I gave him in Gladiator was based on that particular question: is the throne really what Zuko needs to be happy? It doesn't look like it, even in canon. If it's not... then it's not happiness he seeks, it's some sort of sense of assurance that he's doing the right thing, according to the figure of authority he follows at a set point in time: by Book 3, said authority is Iroh, and Iroh wants him on the throne. His motivation, as far as I can see it, is as simple as that.

Long story short... I don't think Zuko really has a strong grasp on many concepts that he absolutely should have reasoned with and worked out in order to become Fire Lord. In a sense, he's way too young for the role he's given, for the heavy burdens he has to deal with, and I'll NEVER see the sense in not having Iroh taking the throne (beyond how "poetic" the creators and writers found it to crown Zuko to finish his story, of course), at least for a short time, before Zuko can be ready. This is exactly why I wrote things that way in my oneshot where Azula takes Zuko's role, more or less: Iroh serves as regent while Azula prepares for taking the full role of Fire Lord when she's ready. I love her, she's awesome, I absolutely adore her character... but I don't think an Azula who was sidelined and sent on a long voyage with her uncle for YEARS could possibly be ready for the responsibilities of being Fire Lord right away.

Meanwhile? Iroh was given leadership of military missions enough times that he became a general in the Fire Nation forces. By all evidence, he was Fire Lord Azulon's pampered and spoiled son, whom he DID prepare for the duties of a Fire Lord for as long as Iroh was born: Iroh literally had fifty-ish years of preparation, as far as I can tell? How is he NOT the better suited person to take the throne, if just temporarily, while his nephew learns what it really means to rule by watching him, or by maybe learning leadership by managing smaller duties first, a specific town or city, and then putting his knowledge to good use by becoming Fire Lord properly?

Eh... because it wouldn't be an epic enough finale for the show, I suppose. That's the only answer I can find for this particular question.

So... yeah. That got long :'D but in short... I don't think Zuko has a strong grasp on responsibility and duty, let alone on the burdens inherent to these concepts. Yet more reasons why his character's arc can't hit all the marks it should, imo, to make it as great as the whole fandom is already convinced it is.

[acey-wacey]

Lovestruck MC Headcanons

A/N: I've been playing lovestruck as a coping mechanism for covid but what really irks me is how the main characters are written. The player is allowed to choose their name, but not their appearance meaning the MC is not intended to be a self-insert. Even though it is established that the MC is a distinct character, they still never have any personality other than their love interest so I've decided to write my completely random headcanons for the MCs of the different books.

Love and Legends MC (with the protags)

-She loves cheesy rom-coms and says it's only to laugh at them but she really just loves the predictability.

-She is very defensive of her friends and has to be held back all the time.

-In high school, she knew she was attractive and lead boys on just to dump them (toxic much?).

-Her favorite food is pizza and she cries inside every time Solaire says she doesn't know what that is.

-She is constantly humming BTS songs and it confuses everyone else.

-She regularly sneaks out of the palace, with her chosen love interest, to find bits of the fantasy world that look just like movies she's seen.

-She makes dirty jokes way too often and only Iseul thinks they're funny.

When Reiner let her out of the palace for the first time, she went crazy with shopping and bought way too many Renaissance dresses.

-After her chosen love interest confessed to her, she had a mental breakdown about how all of this is a coma dream and no real person could love her.

-She is very cuddly and all the horses love her.

Starship Promise MC (aboard the Promise)

-She listens to heavy metal whenever she's working.

-Atlas told her it was annoying so she soundproofed the entire lab in a single night.

-She can actually use a blaster very well but if the chosen love interest offers to teach her, she's suddenly blind.

-She hates pickles and always throws them to Comet even though he doesn't like them either but he'll eat them for her.

-She watches old earth horror movies and laughs when the protagonist does stupid stuff.

-She has astronomy books from all the planets her parents visited and can name most of the stars in the sky from any given planet.

-She always has to be the bait for recon missions because she's a pretty blonde woman but unless it's genuinely important, she'll blow her cover on purpose just to make a point.

-She has a sixth sense for when someone is down and is completely ready to listen to them or knock some sense into them depending on the situation.

-Whenever she gets into an argument with one of the crew members, she just stares at them until they get freaked out and leave.

Reigning Passions MC

-She doesn't flaunt her poker skills but is prepared to humble any cocky player at Sebastian's parties.

-She has a lovely singing voice when she's sober but only ever sings at her grandmother's grave.

-When palace life gets too overwhelming, she sneaks out to the village and works at the bar for an afternoon.

-She knows how to do a lot of card tricks and uses them to entertain children.

-Soon after she was crowned, she appointed Xenia to be her "royal confidante", meaning they can spill tea for an hour and a half every Tuesday and nobody thinks anything of it.

-She learns a little bit of magic from each season, not only to do cool tricks but to appear as the heart of the capital, with influence from all four seasons.

-Never once has she abused her power but when a drunk man grabbed her butt, she seriously considered executing him.

-She is the life of the party, not just because she can make drinks tray well, but because she knows exactly what makes everyone laugh.

-She memorizes small things about each person she meets in court so that she can either become friends with them or keep an eye on them.

-Sometimes she helps Gideon with his experiments even if it's in the middle of the night.

-She despises court parties and always tries to leave as soon as possible.

-She considers her hair a very sensitive part of her body and only lets her chosen love interest style it.

-She has an extensive wardrobe but she only ever wears two dresses because they're the most comfortable.

Astoria: Fate's Kiss

-She is the only person brave enough to ask Hades why he married his niece.

-K-pop stan to the max

-She used to want to own a bakery before she started working for H.E.R.A.

-She is the most indecisive person ever and get stressed out over choosing an ice cream flavor.

-Chosen love interest chooses her ice cream flavor for her and that's part of the reason why she loves them.

-She overworks herself to the point of passing out at her desk.

-She has a pink sparkly pom-pom pen that she calls the "Punish-pen-t" because anyone who swears in the office has to use the pen for paperwork for the next week.

-She likes sour candy better than sweet.

-She doesn't like physical affection and will only let her chosen love interest and May touch her.

-Her favorite flower is sunflowers.

-She has never left Manhattan for any reason other than work.

Castaway! Love's Adventure

-She's all about eating the rich.

-She swears a lot and it bothers everyone on the island.

-She also has immaculate comedic timing and TK hates that it makes him laugh.

-She has scars all over her legs from rocks and brush scratching her.

-She needs to be watched at all times to make sure she doesn't touch any snakes or something.

-After leaving the island, she has withdrawals from switching between wilderness and city so quickly.

-She makes a lot of references to old movies.

-She has a flip phone because she spends all her money on desk accessories.

-She has seen one episode of Naruto and calls herself an anime fan.

-When she gets mad, she has really well thought out argument and provides textual evidence because she's used to journaling.

-She's so used to scrutiny that she apologizes anytime anything happened even if it isn't her fault.

[shinygoku]

James for the character ask

Ahh, the ✨Splendid Engine✨ himself!

First impression

...Red Thomas? :v

Impression now

Honestly, James may be one of the more interesting characters if you really get in close and examine him and his dynamics with the other characters. And maybe this is me having drawn the wrong conclusion, but my own reading into him has me find him actually rather misunderstood, in and out of universe. You've heard of The Sad Story of Henry? You better be ready for the Tragic Tale of James!

So, at a basic, surface level look, James is The Vain One. He's the only Red [Standard Gauge] Engine on the Island (somehow??) and won't let anyone forget about it. He obsesses over the condition and colour of his coat. He resents having to pull trucks, which are often dirty and full of contents that would make him dirtier still. He's astonishingly rude to anyone near him who isn't sufficiently clean but he'll also get jealous of someone who has fresher paint than him.

What if I told you that his Shiny Colouration to the NWR livery is but a small part of the larger picture?

Peering closer, and it's more overt in the books than the show, but of the 7 deadly sins, he's arguably less Prideful (than say, Gordon) and instead, more Wrath?

James has one [red] hot temper, it doesn't take much to set him off and he simmers in resentment for a long time afterwards. While he started it, his tiff with Toby resulted in a completely avoidable headlong crash into the Tar Tankers, all because he was too busy fuming to pay attention to his job. What got him so mad in the first place there? The Bootlace Incident.

Poor James! Much like Henry and the Tunnel, the Bootlaces is one thing that continues to hound him even long after the event, and it seems a bit unfair for that card to get played so much, as he was a total noob at the time with Coaches, but when that button is pressed we always see his angry face.

Even without that particular old saw, he is testy about a lot of things. The aforementioned "DIRTY trucks in DIRTY sidings!" comes to mind. He’s (predicted by the Fat Controller himself!) in a bad mood when he suddenly has to pick up Donald’s work after the latter crashed into the signal box. Sometimes he just snaps when the others are talking (to be fair, often Griping) amongst themselves.

Let's rewind all the way back to James' first day on Sodor. He's in his black livery and has wooden brake blocks. Predictably, these don't last and it only takes some trucks shoving him down the hill for them to burn up and him to spill out in a field. Thomas comes by to save him, but that's still one helluva bumpy start to your new home! After that incident, The Fat Controller offers him a new paint colour and allows him to have Red, completely unique (even moreso if you're in a canon where Henry was blue at the time, meaning James isn't just the only one with Red, but the only one to not follow the Blue uniform).

There's still a bit more!

So, he won't shut up about his distinctive paint? He wants to be seen by passengers and have a nice time pulling coaches? He's the smallest of the "Big 3" Tender Engines? He's a one-off deviation from his class with the extended front end, but the difference wasn't significant so none of the others got the same treatment? He’s anxious the whole day after unintentionally wheeshing steam on FC1 (which is sadly not baseless!)?

James, to me, is a character with a pretty huge Inferiority Complex, and his various posturing and claims that he's the best are him trying very hard to believe it.

Unfortunately, he's so obnoxious about the faking it, generally the others ignore what may be lying beneath.

One last bit here! His attitude definitely declined after he buddied up with Gordon and sometimes pulls the Express, so Big G was something of a toxic (but oblivious) influence.

Favourite moment

His overcoming the trucks, complete with a fab remix of his already dope theme! After his disaster of a first day where trucks ran him off the rails, and then his very bumpy few days after being painted with the Coach Break Fluid Pipe and the Steam and being very unfairly punished, he gets to show some of his worth and ability!

He also gets a number of very funny lines in exchanges which are a bit butchered when I put them up here lol, like “Hello, Gordon! Is it tomorrow~? [...] Must have been Instinct!” or (Percy, taking a metaphor literally: The sky’s empty...) “Like your smokebox, Percy!”

Idea for a story

I would Enjoy something where, as is often the case with these asks, someone examines subjects I’ve been rambling about lol. So yeah, a character who isn’t fooled by his dazzling red coat and sees who he is inside, and the possibilities that spring from that would be real neat!

I also have a more silly [albeit Current Events based] idea which is more shallow, but here it is anyway:

In the time(s) of a pandemic (remember Spanish flu? James would), Engines who pull passenger coaches would be given decorative engine size face masks to show a good example to the customers. Some of them feel Rather Silly but regular passenger trains like Thomas on his branch line, and Mr Express Gordon don’t really get to refuse. They just quietly roll their eyes as their lack of ears or a back of their smokeboxes mean the cloth has to be physically taped to the sides of their head and try to maintain their dignity. 😷

Suddenly, James is uncharacteristically eager to pull goods trains, as these engines are much further away from the passengers and visitors to the railway, and thus don’t need to wear them lol

Unpopular opinion

Not sure how unpopular it is, but I really like Angelis’ Liverpool voice coming through much more strongly for James. His read on “Why are you always complaining all the time??” is just excellent, and other Scouse Moments just sound Right to me. Also gotta mention Ringo’s take on James’ sarcastic, very angry HAR HAR in one of the weird Toby episodes, and thanks to ytp splicing that with the word Harbour I think of it a lot haha

Maybe his voice should be more Yorkshire or Lancaster, as that’s where he was made? But (also applies to Thomas) I vibe with Liverpudlian James.

Favourite relationship

It’s actually a bit hard to think of a particular engine, James tends to get grouped with Gordon and Henry (The Big Engines, The Jerk Trio, etc) but as I’ve said, I think him palling up with Gordon was actually pretty bad for James in hindsight. For merch and prolly in the CGI eps, he’s grouped with Thomas and Percy, because Primary Colours I think (though the same colours as Gordon and Henry offered!) but More Marketable. But I dunno, does James really fit in with either group that well?

I think what James needs is less to hang out in the fringe of a clique, and to instead have a real, frank, genuine connection with someone. Then maybe he can make his friendships with the others a bit healthier, too. I just can’t think of any cast members who fill that role at the mo... 🤔

Favourite headcanon

As he is a Mixed Traffic Engine, he’s a Jack of All Tasks (he just prefers some to others!), also under the issues he has, he’s absolutely trying to be a good engine and friend, he just needs some guidance and tons of patience to get there.

[dreadpoetssociety]

Her Over Me

TW: death, verbal fighting

Request:  Maybe can you do a Spence x teen! Daughter where Spencer’s new girlfriend is a total ass to y/n and despite her efforts to convince Spencer that she’s extremely harsh, Spencer brushes her off and ignores her until she finally snaps and gets enough of his ignorance, lashing out on him unexpectedly for caring so much for his girlfriend instead of his daughter and she just runs to Garcia’s or JJ’s or smth and spencer finally realizes the truth when his gf asks where the annoying ‘brat’ is? Thank u!

Note: Okay, hopefully this is alright HAH I’ve never written one with Spencer being a dad before, but this was fun. Thank you for the request!!

Pairings: 

Spencer Reid x Girlfriend 

Spencer Reid x Daughter!Reader

()()()()()()

You never liked your fathers new girlfriend. You weren’t sure what he saw in her, or how he didn’t notice the pure evil that bubbled inside the woman’s veins, considering he was a profiler and a genius and all that. He should’ve noticed her behavior a long time ago. 

But alas, he didn’t. As the saying goes, love is blind. You’d tried to bring it up a few times, only to be brushed off, and gave up once you understood he was never going to believe you. The woman was nice to you in front of him, but became someone else when he was gone. You were convinced that if he wasn’t so head over heels for her, he probably would’ve noticed. It was so out of character for him not to, but for a while you didn’t want to ruin his happiness. He hadn’t been interested in anyone since your mom passed away, and even though he pretended to be happy, you had the genetics of a profiler, and just knew he hadn’t been for so long. Not completely, anyway. 

When she came home, your mood changed, as though you were putting an extra wall up.

“Y/N, get over here and take these bags. I won’t wait.” she said.

“Alright.” you for the most part just tried to be compliant. You didn’t want any issues, or even worse, punishment, which had happened more than once now due to her incredible lying of ‘Y/N said this, Y/N said that, I think it’s because she doesn’t like me’ blah blah blah. She knew which buttons to push. 

“Hurry it up, I have things to do.” she said angrily. You picked up the grocery bags and placed them on the island in the kitchen area. As you did, though, a glass salsa jar fell out and onto the floor, cracking into two pieces. You quickly started picking up the pieces and frantically tried to clean it.

“My God, Y/N! I just bought that! You can’t get anything right, can you? I don’t even understand why Spencer doesn’t just put you up for god damn adoption, you’re such a pain to be around. You owe me three dollars and fifty cents for that, and gas money to go back to the store.” she yelled, “For God sake, if I was your mom, I’d die, too.”

You stopped. You turned so quickly that it would’ve given someone whiplash. This was it. This was the last straw. All those times of her calling you a burden, of her blaming everything on you, trying to get rid of you in any way she could. She doesn’t belong in this family. She’s an outsider. What right does she have mentioning your mother. It hit too close to home, especially since you beat yourself up every day over feeling guilty of your mother’s death, and missing her more than words could even describe. It was your breaking point. 

“You know what, Catherine,”

“Catrina” she interrupted.

“Catherine!” you screamed, “You vile, stupid excuse of a woman. Keep my mother out of your slimy, filthy mouth. You don’t have a place in this house.” 

“Excuse me? How dare you tell me what to do, you stupid brat! I’ll tell Spencer about how awful you are, and maybe he’ll punish you again.”

“Honestly Caitlin, I don’t give a god damn. Put your own groceries away. In fact-“ you turned around and dropped all the glass piece back to the floor, “you can clean them the hell up, too.” the two of you broke out in a screaming match then, throwing insults back and forth at the top of your lungs. 

Eventually, Spencer walked in at some point. You didn’t notice, but Catrina did. Her tone had changed, and she as calmer, and anomy somewhat nicer while you absolutely destroyed her.

“Y/N!” he yelled. You turned around. You’d never heard him yell at you like that before.

“Dad! I swear to you. She is literally so harsh. She treats me like trash! And you just let her! She brought up mo-“

“Really? Because I’m pretty sure it’s you who’s screaming at her. I know you’re upset because you miss your mom, but you can’t throw tantrums like this anymore, Y/N.”

You stopped. Anymore? Tantrums? You had et your father’s girlfriend walk all over you this whole time. All those times she got you in trouble she’d bent the truth dramatically. You hadn’t even yelled at her once until now. 

“You’re really going to believe her over your own kid, aren’t you?” you shook your head, “You know what, that’s cool. Do what you want. I’ll do what Cathy has wanted me to do the whole time and see myself out. You know, for some alleged genius and incredible profiler, you’re too easily manipulated. Have fun on date night.” 

“Y/N, get back here!”

But it was too late. You’d snatched the keys, walked out and slammed the door. Your eyes were blurry as the apartment elevator closed before Spencer could get to you, and you made your way down to the garage. 

You got in the car and just drove. You weren’t sure where your body was taking you, but it was just on autopilot, and you eventually ended up at JJ’s, a coworker of your father’s.

You rang the bell, practically about to pass out from crying so much. JJ answered the door pretty quickly, and her face dropped with incredible amounts of concern that you could almost feel it.

“Y/N, oh my God, what’s going on?” 

“Spen- and- a- an-“ you couldn’t even speak. You’d put up with this witch for so long for him, and you were his kid, and he just believed her so easily.

“Okay, hey, hey wait. Come inside, you have to sit down, okay?” JJ helped you in to her living room. The house was seemingly empty, so you assumed Will must��ve taken the kids somewhere. For a few minutes you just cried on her couch while she sat next to you trying to comfort you. Eventually calming down, you began to explain everything from the beginning. The disgusted looks, the insults, the lying, the this, the that, just everything. 

“Y/N, I’m so sorry, that’s terrible.” JJ said, “Spence really hasn’t said anything about it?”

“No! Literally nothing! He doesn’t even think it’s happening. He doesn’t find it suspicious at all it’s so weird. He gives a damn so much about her that he’ll just like, see past it.” you replied.

“That’s so unlike him.” she said, “Do you want me to talk to him?” 

You shook your head, “It’s just cause more problems with his dumb girlfriend. I don’t even care that he has a girlfriend! He thinks that I hate her because I miss my mom, but I hate her because she’s so mean to me all the time when he isn’t around. The only reason I lost it today was because she brought up my mom.”

“Is that why you got angry at her? What’d she say?” 

“She literally said that if she were my mom, she’d die, too. Like firstly, who says that? What kind of insult is that? Secondly, who would bring up someone’s literal dead mother in any situation, let alone over a stupid jar?” you asked. JJ shrugged, not knowing what to say. You both talked for a few more hours after that, ignoring every attempt Spencer had tried to call you.

“Y/N, you’re genuinely welcome here any time if you need to get away from that.” she said.

“Thanks, JJ, I honestly might take you up on that.” you smiled. You said your goodbyes and made your way home.

When you walked through the front door of your apartment, you saw the two of them sitting on the couch together. Spencer looked at you, you looked back and just walked into your room as though life was normal. That’s all you could do for now. For the following few days, you spent most of your time at JJ’s. Penelope was there too, every once in a while, and once you told her the story, she almost went to straighten Spencer out herself. Garcia wasn’t the type to get angry, but when she was, it was like the day had just suddenly turned to night it was so dark. But, you convinced her out of it, saying you’d deal with it somehow and that you didn’t want anyone else involved.

Spencer had been waiting for his girlfriend to go out when you mysteriously disappeared for the millionth time this week. She walked in a black body con dress, and her beauty almost mesmerized him.

“Hey,” she smiled. She quickly looked around as her and Spencer got closer, “where’s that annoying little brat?” 

And that’s when it finally clicked for him. All of those behaviors he’d picked up on, the way she looked at the top of his head when talking about how you had done something, the way her voice seemed to fluctuate, even just the way she walked around the house. It was almost like a snap back to reality for him, and he regretted ignoring it before. He knew now that you were telling the truth this whole time, and that he’d just looked over you.

“Get out.” he said.

“Spence, what?”

“That’s Dr. Reid for you. Get out of my house. You lied this whole time about Y/N.” his voice was raising, which she’d never seen happen before.

“What? Spence- no, let’s talk this out, you don’t understand!”

“You’re right, I don’t understand. How can I understand someone who treats my kid like nothing and lies about her for no reason? I can understand what you get out of it, a power trip, maybe. Maybe it stems from how you were raised as a child, since you said your mother did the same to you and now you’re doing it unto someone else. So most likely she’s just a surrogate to represent your younger self, correct? You’ve got the same hair color and eye color, so it actually adds up.” he rambled off angrily, but he stopped quickly, “Get out. Take your crap with you. Don’t call me again, we’re done.” 

He slammed the door behind her.

When Spencer showed up to JJ’s house, you, Garcia, and JJ fell silent.

“Y/N, can we talk privately?” he asked. Looking at the two other women, they nodded their heads and gestured for you to go. You both walked out to Spencer’s car, getting in, and starting for a drive.

“Y/N, I’m so sorry, you were right this whole time.”

“Yeah, I know.” you retorted. He sighed.

“Genuinely, Y/N. Catrina’s gone I kicked her out. I should’ve seen who she really was from the beginning. I noticed all the signs and just went anyway. More importantly I should’ve listened to you.” 

You stayed silent. What were you supposed to do in a situation like this? You were still mad at him, but wanted to forgive him.

“I’m genuinely sorry.”

“I’ll forgive you eventually, but I’m pissed about it for now.” you stated.

“Which completely makes sense, you have every right to be.”

“Something that might help your case would be a nice trip to the mall, you know. . . “ you smirked. He laughed. The two of you drove around for about an hour and a half talking things out, and the day ended with you, Spencer, Garcia, and JJ all going out together. Of course, not before Garcia and JJ almost killed him, but once it was somewhat settled, the four of you had a good time, especially with you having the satisfaction of knowing that Catrina was literally kicked out of your house. 

[austerulous-a]

𝐒𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐝𝐝𝐥𝐲 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 .

1. What does your muse smell like?

Ha, I always seem to ask writing partners this question!  Annie herself has a rather keen sense of smell, and likes to be clean.  Her body’s natural scent is vaguely sweet but given she perspires considerably during martial training, and hit puberty earlier than most, she became fastidious about personal care at a young age.  In the interests of getting as much sleep as possible, Annie tends to wash out of a sink or basin in the morning, and shower in the evening (it’s no accident that this arrangement also means she’s also less likely to have to use communal showers at the same time as anyone else).  In Marley, she often retained the scent of the plain soap her father purchased, while in Paradis scented soaps became her secret indulgence.  Light, floral fragrances are her favourite, and she likes lilac in particular.

2. What do your muse’s hands feel like?

Having suffered with sensitive, itchy skin as a child, Annie is in the habit of frequently using balm or cream on her hands, which makes them soft and smooth to the touch.  That being said, as a result of domestic chores, her silver ring being a permanent fixture on her right forefinger, as well as her military training, Annie’s palms and fingers have some calluses.  For as long as she can remember, she has had cool hands (and feet) but inheriting the Female Titan seems to have exacerbated this to the point where they are frigid much of the time.  Annie’s hands are dainty, in keeping with a girl of her size and stature, while her fingers are dexterous, slender and deceptively delicate; she is strong, and can deliver a crushing handshake if so inclined (never forget this scene from the Lost Girls OVA).

3. What does your muse usually eat in a day?

Annie has an unhealthy relationship with food, and her eating patterns are disordered; she is the sort to forget to eat or to deliberately skip meals, or to binge when the opportunity presents itself.  Given that Annie’s value lies in her physical capabilities, her father was very controlling over her intake, and critical of both her body and her sweet tooth.  You better believe Gabe Leonhardt is the kind of man who would slap a biscuit out of his daughter’s mouth.  The regular, plain meals served by the military work in her favour then, as they provide some sort of structure and nutritional balance.  Of course, her impoverished background (picking mould off fruit and bread was a common occurrence during her childhood, as food close to spoiling was sold at discounted prices) and her appetite mean Annie isn’t a fussy eater.  She will try almost anything once, even dishes others might balk at, or consider an acquired taste.  Adventurous as she is, Annie carries a great deal of trauma around what she was forced to consume by the Marleyan military, as part of their experimentation on her and the Female Titan.  This included cannibalising parts of her fellow Warriors.  Living amongst refugees after the fall of Wall Maria, Annie stole food, and would split these spoils – as well as her rations – with Reiner and Bertholdt.  Sharing food is one of the easiest and most common ways for her to express affection.  Annie does not drink alcohol, her favourite beverage is limeade and she is particularly fond of lavender, lemon and mint flavours.

4. Does your muse have a good singing voice?

Yes, but Annie has little cause to sing, and it would mortify her to be overheard, so she rarely indulges (never underestimate her fear of being laughed at).  Sometimes, she will sing in the shower, or while doing chores alone, but she is far more likely to hum quietly under her breath.  For the record, I think Misaki Fukunaga’s vocals on Annie’s song (Kanojo wa Tsumetai Hitsugi no Nakade / ‘She Lies Within the Cold Coffin’) is a pretty solid representation of her singing voice.

5. Does your muse have any bad habits or nervous tics?

While she has been raised to be adept at disguising her emotions, Annie does have a number of behaviours that are born out of habit, and can be indicative of her mood – namely cracking her knuckles, or twisting her silver ring.  For a time, she had a ‘tell’ during combat where she would blink twice in rapid succession before making a particularly decisive or devastating blow; her father successfully hammered this out of her.  While not a habit per se, during her early childhood she suffered from excoriation disorder, and as such would scratch / pick at her skin, as well as pull out her hair and eyelashes.  As a young adult, swearing forms one of her more obvious bad habits, along with staring, keeping a wholly irregular sleep schedule and forgetting to eat (or conversely eating too much).

6. What does your muse usually look like / wear?

Whenever possible, Annie will remain in her military uniform both for the impersonality and simplicity of it.  Outside of that, she chooses roomy, comfortable and practical clothes in pale and muted colours.  Hoodies form her preference (she will pull the hood up when she wants to shut the world out, or to feel alone) but tunics, sweaters and jumpers also appear in her wardrobe – basically anything that’s relaxed in fit, and doesn’t cling to her upper body.  She is less concerned with trousers being closefitting, and is content to wear cropped varieties or even shorts in hot weather.  Skirts, dresses and more traditional feminine garb usually only feature in her disguises.  Annie is tactile and has a strong preference for soft fabrics, partly because for the comfort they offer her touch-starved self, and partly because she suffered with sensitive skin (an issue that inheriting the Female Titan resolved for her).  For the sake of practicality, Annie will almost always pull her hair back into her trademark messy bun, and likes a heavy, long fringe to hide behind.  Post-crystal, she moves towards wearing her hair down, finding that it helps soften her hard features.  Ultimately, Annie isn’t big on experimentation when it comes to fashion or styling, doesn’t wear make-up, and is concerned only with being clean, comfortable and presentable enough to pass inspections.

7. Is your muse affectionate?  How much?  How so?

There are times when Annie wishes she could be affectionate, but she genuinely doesn’t know how.  Her father deliberately kept her isolated, and dominated her formative years as a remote, unfeeling and largely inexpressive disciplinarian.  The height of care he showed Annie was silently helping her to wrap her swollen hands and feet at the end of particularly gruelling days, or tending to her when she was sick with fever.  His bedside manner was clinical, perfunctory.  Where other parents might hold their child’s hand, he would choose instead to grasp her by the wrist, often gripping her tightly enough to bruise.  Distance has always existed between them and, prior to the Paradis Island Operation, he placed his hand fondly on Annie’s head only once, and embraced her only once, the traumatic context of both instances sullying the contact.  As a result, she watches expressions of affection – mothers dabbing at their children’s sticky faces, friends embracing or tousling each other’s hair, lovers holding hands – with quiet longing and fascination, more often a witness than a participant.  Normally only close to others in combative situations, Annie is hardwired to associate proximity and touch with danger and / or pain.  It isn’t all doom and gloom, however.  With trusted companions or partners, Annie can and will open up, overcoming her concern with boundaries and rejection.  Mostly she expresses affection through small, fleeting touches; the brush of fingers, sitting side by side or leaning against those she is comfortable with.  Along with quality time, physical touch is one of Annie’s primary love languages.

8. What position does your muse sleep in?

Given the abuse that marked her childhood, it’s no accident that Annie assumes an almost defensive position.  Typically she sleeps on her side with her knees drawn up and her hands raised, vaguely mirroring her combative stance.  On occasion she will sleep her head under her pillow, or hide her face in the crook of an elbow.  While she very often dreams of training with her father, she is usually a deep sleeper and doesn’t move around too much – though the odd slumberous punch or kick isn’t unheard of.  Eerily, Annie will sometimes sleep with her eyes open, and she is a frequent sleep-talker.

9. Could you hear your muse in the hallway from another room?

Most likely not.  Courtesy of her martial training, which demands she be light on her feet, and her father’s fervent subscription to the belief that children should be seen and not heard (along with his punishment / correction of any behaviours that he deemed irritating or undesirable) Annie learned to move quietly, to make herself as small and silent a presence as possible.  Being diminutive both as a child and as an adult, she never experienced the clumsiness that often comes with growth spurts and the shifting dimensions of a maturing body.  There is a natural grace and confidence to her movements, but also something soulless and mechanical that has been instilled in her.  Play and the raucousness of childhood was not something Annie was permitted to indulge in at home and it shows; even during her youngest years, she carried herself as an adult might, stiffly and precisely.  This inherent stealthiness is part of what makes her so well-suited to covert operations, along with the fact that she is plain and slight enough to go overlooked.  That being said, when she is especially exhausted or weary, Annie may stumble or move lethargically, and is more likely to be overheard.

tagged by: @oncejaw​​ like a million years ago – I loved doing this, thank you lovely! ♡ tagging: a ton of people were tagged already, so whoever wants to do it.

[sokkastyles]

Thanks for asking! I realize I never elaborated on the Jet/Zuko parallels so here goes.

Season one Zuko/Jet are both extremists, though on opposite sides of the war. Zuko will stop at nothing to capture the Avatar. Jet will stop at nothing to rid the world of the Fire Nation. Zuko is the fallen prince, while Jet is the war orphan, both trying to restore what they’ve lost. And both have significant interactions with Katara.

Focusing on book one first, I’ve already written about how Jet manipulates Katara, which makes it worse not only because she did have romantic feelings for him, but because she was totally taken in by his whole freedom fighter thing. He also manipulates Aang and tries to manipulate Sokka, but Katara was the main one who felt betrayed by him. Katara has such a big heart and fighting spirit but at this point in the story she is fairly naive, and it shows here. She probably never considered before this episode that somebody fighting on the right side could be a bad person.

I also looked up the mouth wheat thing because I’ve seen it a lot in anime for similar “tough guy” characters and as that other post I reblogged said, it is a stand-in for cigarettes. I also found out that it’s supposed to represent a banchou, which is a juvenile delinquent gang-leader. And Jet is the leader of a bunch of feral kids, although they are ostensibly revolutionaries. Longshot, Smellerbee, and the Duke do seem like they have good intentions, and they often call Jet out on his behavior.

I also think there’s a comparison/foil with Katara’s interactions with Zuko in book one, which revolve around the necklace and his attempted kidnapping of her. Zuko tries to manipulate Katara using her mother’s necklace but is not very good at it. Not necessarily because he has any moral compunctions but because he’s just not that socially adept. He is most often the victim of his father and sister’s manipulations and the few times he tries to copy them he fails ridiculously, because he is incredibly literal-minded. He’s blunt and often fails to understand things that aren’t directly spelled out. He is not a manipulator.

I’ve also seen people compare Jet flooding the Fire Nation village to Zuko burning down Kyoshi Island, in order to make Zuko look worse, but as I’ve said before, Zuko burning down Kyoshi Island was not intentional, it was something that happened as a result of reckless firebending. That doesn’t make it any less bad, but it seems like it’s been popular recently to add this to the list of things that make Zuko “problematic,” so much so that I actually forgot that scene and was surprised when I rewatched the scene recently and discovered it wasn’t the intentional razing of the village that some people on tumblr make it out to be. Zuko’s fault there was simply not caring about the collateral damage in his pursuit of Aang. He wasn’t intentionally trying to burn down the village. Plus, if we were being honest, all the gaang would cause destruction wherever they went given how much bending they do. That’s not something the show dwells on, though, the way that superhero movies don’t dwell on New York getting destroyed for the hundredth time (unless it’s a deconstruction of the genre).

What Jet does is much more deliberate. He’s aware that what he tricks Katara and Aang into doing will cause the deaths of innocents, and dismisses Smellerbee when she tells him so, and he’s aware that the gaang will not approve of his actions enough to hide it from them. There’s also an interesting elemental parallel/foil, Jet destroys a village with water and Zuko destroys one with fire - foreshadowing that water can also be destructive? Hama, anyone? Robert Frost said it. 

I think I know enough of hate to say that for destruction ice is also great, and would suffice.

Anyway.

Book two, the Jet/Zuko parallels/foils are much more explicit, and highlighted by the fact that they actually meet in book two. Zuko’s on redemption road, although he doesn’t know it yet. Jet explicitly states that he wants redemption, although he’s still doing the same things he was doing before. He enlists Zuko in helping him steal stuff because he thinks he’s entitled to it, and I guess you can argue about whether it was justified, since the captain was treating the refugees unfairly, but Jet mostly seems interested in stealing food for himself and his group. To be fair, Prince “ew, poor people” Zuko doesn’t exactly have egalitarian motives, either, which is why helping Jet steal food is a regression in his arc. It’s him donning the Blue Spirit identity (although without the mask) once more because he’s trying to get closer to the material life that he lost. It’s also hilarious that when Jet asks Zuko to do this, Zuko’s dumb ass is like “well, Uncle did tell me to make friends.” Sometimes I wonder who was more naive, book one Katara or book two Zuko. Iroh is like “god, I leave him alone for five minutes and he joins a gang.”

When Jet keeps pressing Zuko about joining the Freedom Fighters, Zuko says no. Again, not for any moral reasons, but because he knows that if Jet keeps pressing, he might find out who Zuko really is. Zuko is honest with Jet when he says “I don’t think you want me in your group.” Not for good reasons, again, but the claim that Zuko somehow manipulated Jet is absolutely wrong. Jet was the one who approached Zuko and made assumptions and got pushy when Zuko said no.

Jet does genuinely want and try to change, but his major temptation is finding out that Iroh is a firebender, which he finds out right after he gets pissed that Zuko rejected him so I do think that was part of his motivation for going after them, considering how pushy Jet acted with the gaang when they rebuffed him. Jet, of course, fails the test, although what happens to him certainly isn’t his fault, even if he did make mistakes. It’s a tragedy that in the end, the choice to turn his life around was taken from him, and he was betrayed by the people who he thought were the good guys. This also highlights the theme that sometimes people on the “good” side can be not nice people, which in turn paves the way for Zuko’s redemption and the wider theme that it is actions that matter the most, not which nation you are from. Separation is an illusion, folks.

Zuko’s test happens first when he attempts to steal Appa, the last time he dons the Blue Spirit mask, and then in “The Crossroads of Destiny.” Unlike Jet, Zuko doesn’t know he’s being tested, he doesn’t know he needs to change, although Iroh keeps telling him he does. The change happens in Zuko without him realizing it.

Katara tries to heal Jet, and Jet dies. Katara almost heals Zuko, and Zuko betrays her. And this time Aang is the one who almost dies, who Katara has to heal. This certainly contributes to Katara’s mistrust of Zuko later on, all three of these events tied together. And all three boys are people she has romantic tension with.

Which brings me to another reason I dislike Jet, or rather, what he is meant to be in Katara’s story. Many people have pointed out that Katara is romantically attracted to Jet, and his superficial resemblance both to the “bad boy” trope, and to Zuko. There’s a reason Zutara shippers make this comparison, although I believe its purpose in the narrative was actually to be anti Zutara and provide support for Kataang, but because the writers really didn’t know how to write Kataang properly, it ends up as the opposite.

Recently I saw a post by a popular blog that was anti Zutara that cited Jet as an example of Katara having “low standards.” And like, I can’t entirely blame the post for its misogyny (Katara is FOURTEEN) because this is what the writers want us to think. Katara’s attraction to Jet is very much playing on the “girl develops a crush on the jerk who doesn’t care about her” stereotype. This is, subtly, one of the ways that the show punishes Katara for not returning Aang’s crush. Interestingly, in this episode Aang doesn’t get jealous of Jet at all, and doesn’t even notice Katara’s attraction, but that’s because Aang in this episode is also still naive and in his early stages of his attraction to Katara, and also thinks Jet is super cool. Sokka instantly hates Jet, though. And Sokka is right, but he also has flavors of the over-protective big brother. I do remember that this episode left a sour taste in my mouth because of the (thankfully downplayed) implications that Katara is a silly girl who falls for the “wrong” types of guys because women don’t know what they want and need a man to help them “discover” their feelings. I also think this is meant to be subtextual in Katara making the hat for Jet which Aang ends up wearing, because Aang is the “good guy” who really does care about Katara, you see? Thanks show, I hate it. To be fair, I blame the writers for this, not Aang. Aang is just having fun hanging out in a treehouse and gets to wear a cool homemade hat. It’s the writers who put this weird misogynistic pressure on Katara.

It’s funny though when people compare Zuko to Jet in order to prove Zutara wrong, because when you compare the two, Zuko is the one who ends up looking better, the one who works hard to repair his damaged relationship with Katara, who genuinely did change. The one whose life she could save after he had done the work to save himself.

[adarlingsnightmare]

Chuuya Nakahara Yandere Alphabet

Anonymous said:

Sounds good! How about the alphabet for chuuya? :3c 

accidentally posted this to my main blog after writing a huge apology for my lack of posting :/ i keep doing that unfortunately. anyways, ive had a full week exams which is why i havent been posting. im extremely tired and stressed but i will try to get more requests done this week, though i have another week of exams. i do apologise, but itll be over soon. i hope you enjoy anon, this short bastard is one of my favs. <3

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

Chuuya would gladly smother you in endless kisses and cuddles, but if you tell him to back off, he'll stick to just having an arm around you (because god forbid he isn't touching you in one way or another). You'll often hear him whispering how much he absolutely adores you when he thinks you're asleep, and when you're visibly awake he'll be showering you in compliments.

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

Oh, Chuuya will undoubtedly do whatever it takes to keep you safe, even if that results in bloody murder. He's in the mafia after all, what's a little blood on his hands, especially in the name of love?

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

Chuuya would only mock you if you consistently failed to escape or were getting punished by him. Otherwise, he is generally loving and as romantic as possible. He will always make sure you're eating and sleeping properly, snapping at you if you refuse to eat as he gets awfully worried about you sometimes.

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling's will?

No, not really. The only instances where something's against his darlings will is when he's punishing them. Other than that, it's mainly abduction and the lack of freedom to talk to people.

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

Chuuya confides in his darling, and will show a side of himself that no one else ever sees. He'll ask for advice on work matters and will constantly seek love and reassurance from his darling. While outwardly he may still appear tough and cocky, he's really soft for you.

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

He would be pretty irritated and though he'd never admit it, quite hurt. Why can't you just love him, goddamnit?! He'll try not to hurt you too much, but if you're not backing down he will use force to get you to stop.

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

Chuuya doesn't enjoy it in the slightest. His love for you isn't some 'game' and seeing you try to escape both infuriates and saddens him. All he truly wants is to be a happy, normal couple so your refusal to love him is not something he enjoys.

Hell: What would be their darling's worst experience with them?

Chuuya isn't always fully aware of how strong he actually is, especially when he uses Corruption and becomes out of control. This can lead to a terrifying situation where you're worried for your life as a monster in your boyfriend's body goes on a rampage and destroys everything around him. It rarely happens, as Chuuya really doesn't want to hurt you, but when it does it's a living nightmare.

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

Honestly, Chuuya doesn't really know what kind of future he wants for him and his darling, but ideally you two would move to some beautiful island — somewhere in the Caribbean, maybe? — get married, possibly start a family and live out the rest of your days in bliss.

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

Luckily, Chuuya isn't insanely possessive and doesn't lash out just because you looked at someone else, but he is paranoid. He has to keep you away from other people because, what if they attempt to hurt you? The only instance where he would genuinely become jealous is if Dazai was involved. This is when you'll see his full yandere side come out and it will be extreme: locking you up in highly secure room, restraining you, putting tracking devices in everything you own, anything to ensure your safety. If you were to show an interest in Dazai, whether platonic or even worse, romantic, his paranoia and jealousy would spike up tenfold — essentially guaranteeing you'll never see the light of day again.

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

Chuuya is generally really loving and calm towards his darling, still messing with them and lovingly calling them an idiot, but always so soft when speaking. However, if you were to be a brat, his rougher, more 'mafia' side would make an appearance— any soft words of reassurance thrown out the window.

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

The 'traditional' way: flirting with you, taking you out on fancy dates and gifting you jewellery and flowers. He may seem smooth but he usually has to ask people (Kouyou) or the internet for advice on how to win someone's affections. He's also very observant to what you're interested in, so if you mention preferring movies to fancy dinners, that's where your next date will be.

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

Yes, but in a good way. Instead of being his 'tough executive' persona, when he's around you, he'll reveal a much sweeter and softer side of himself. He's also surprisingly affectionate, taking every opportunity to be as close to you as possible.

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

Chuuya doesn't generally plan out punishment, he tends to go into a fit of rage and attack you with whatever is nearest. Usually it results in you being choked, slammed repeatedly against the floor or him almost breaking your ribs with his foot. Once he's calmed down is when he will decide on a proper punishment, such as keeping you restrained to the bed, taking away certain privileges or maybe if you've really done something bad... a more permanent solution will be used.

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

As long as his darling was relatively compliant, Chuuya's only real restriction would be the ability to go outside alone without the safety of his watchful eye. Of course, if you betrayed his trust, any hint of freedom you had previously would be stripped away.

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

Chuuya tries to be patient, he really does, but he's just so hotheaded that he often ends up snapping at his darling whenever they act up in the slightest.

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

To put it simply: no. No one else can make Chuuya feel this way, and without his wonderful darling, he feels distanced from the world. It is likely he would continue working for the Port Mafia (unless they were involved in your escape/death), a mere shell of his former self only existing to serve the mafia rather than actually living.

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

Chuuya would feel a small amount of guilt if he had to kidnap you, but his belief that it's necessary for your protection would overrule the guilt. He would absolutely never let you go, you're like the anchor that keeps him human; he cannot lose you.

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

Like Dazai, Chuuya feels almost inhuman, like he is a foreigner in someone else's body, yet when he brushed hands with you, he felt something real. This is what drives him to get to know you: the desperation to be human. The more he spends time with you, the more this feeling increases — leading him to be unable to just allow you to leave him. Ironically, he becomes less human the more time he devotes to you.

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

Chuuya really doesn't like seeing you upset, and it hurts his heart having to punish you when you're so upset, but some things are just a necessary evil. If you've done something he considers to be really bad, he will be apathetic to your tears, believing you deserve whatever you're suffering.

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

Unlike a lot of yanderes, Chuuya does respect your boundaries to a degree, and won't force you to do anything you really protest against (aside from letting you go, of course).

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

Chuuya has to leave for work nearly everyday, so if you're smart and able to break locks, you have a fairly good chance of escaping. However, even if you do escape, Chuuya will find you again, and he won't take the betrayal lightly.

Wit's end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

Chuuya has a pretty short temper, especially when it comes to the safety of his darling, so if you persistently tried to escape or "put yourself in danger" (interacting with Dazai, refusing food), he may snap. As stated previously, he doesn't enjoy your pain, but sometimes it's necessary to get you to listen.

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

Despite his sometimes arrogant nature, Chuuya sees his darling as on an entirely separate level to himself. He practically worships you, though he doesn't always like to show it (he's got to keep up his tough guy persona after all) and would gladly do anything you asked. His loyalty to you is even able to override his loyalty to the Port Mafia.

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

Chuuya would make an effort to woo you, buying you flowers and taking you out on fancy dinners, hoping that you'll end up wanting to be in a relationship with him. He'll vehemently deny being so desperate to be with you, but it's pretty obvious he's hopelessly in love. If you were to continuously reject his advances, he may eventually end up kidnapping you, but only if he thought you were in danger (or that another person was making a move on you).

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

If he did end up breaking you, it wouldn't be intentional. All Chuuya wants is your unconditional love and affection, but he can get desperate if you're not showing it and will make you say how much you love him, even if you have to be put through hell to achieve it.

[tsarisfanfiction]

Thinking thoughts and wanted to know your opinion law went from this seemingly laid back almost easy going personality to this brooding serious man during the time skip do you think he’ll slowly ease back into his old personality once this emperor stuff is taken care of and do you think his crew miss his laid back ways?

Ooh, hello Anon!  This is an interesting question for sure, but honestly?  I don’t think Law’s personality really changed.  What changed is his situation (and two years of additional experience).

Aaaaand my explanation/character study got super long so it’s under a cut.  Oops.  Vague warning for Wano spoilers at some point (I give an actual warning when I get there but a few other things may have slipped in earlier so watch out if you’re anime-only, I guess?)

Okay, so: Sabaody.  Laid back, taunting so-and-so noted by Kid of all people to have zero manners and perfectly happy to poke fun at Drake (note: Drake is also former North Blue, we know their backstories intersected - although whether they know that is another matter entirely, although I headcanon that Drake knows and Law doesn’t but that’s a whole other thing, just like I headcanon that Drake, Penguin and Shachi totally knew each other as teenagers.  I mean, neighbouring islands?  Pirates?  Don’t try and tell me the Barrel Pirates never visited Swallow Island when it was literally right there, and what little we know of pre-Hearts Penguin and Shachi they would totally have been in the pirate kid’s face, but I’m getting off-track).

Law spends a lot of time in Sabaody watching.  When we first see him, he’s watching Killer and Urouge duke it out, and doesn’t do anything to influence what’s going on until Drake arrives (again: Drake, North Blue, a Known Quantity.  Killer?  South Blue.  Urouge?  Sky Islands.  Unknown Quantities, and possibly the first time he’s seen either of them in person).  Then we see him in the Auction House, and we all know he wasn’t there to make a purchase.  One of Oda’s brilliant tie-backs - the Auction House is one of Joker’s things.  Joker is Doffy.  Law is tracking Doffy.  It’s not rocket science that he’s there to get more info.

Then the Strawhats happen.  Law sits there amid all that carnage, seeing the entire crew reunite in the middle of the Biggest Thing Ever To Happen on Sabaody (I mean… punch a tenryubito, nice one Luffy).  Doesn’t join in, doesn’t try to leave.  Sits and watches.  His interaction with Luffy is more info-gathering: this guy just punched a tenryubito and now the Marines are here.  What next?

I love the Three Captains Beatdown.  (I am delighted we finally have the Part 2).  Luffy and Kid are being Luffy and Kid.  They’re crazy, they’re strong, they’re not backing down.  Law has his pride.  He’s the ‘weakest’ of the three (by which I mean he has the lowest bounty and in pirate-speak that means weaker) and both Kid and Luffy are completely not his type of pirate (again, revisited in current manga events and thank you, Oda).  If he doesn’t act then, he’ll lose a whole load of respect, and also put his crew in danger because, you know, the admiral is coming and Shachi already admitted Rayleigh’s haki nearly took him out.  So we have three of Law’s big traits coming out in Sabaody (imo): Protectiveness of his crew, Scheming, and being an Intentional Pain in the Ass (with a subsection of Pride but all pirates have that one so I’m not gonna focus on that too much).

As for Marineford, that’s really a case of sticking his tongue out at the World Government, let’s be honest (plus the whole Will of D schtick we still don’t know the full depth of).  What better way of saying ‘screw you’ to the WG than saving someone who just broke out of Impel Down and has made themselves out to be a royal nuisance but hey it’s okay because he’s dea- dammit Trafalgar came in and now he’s not dead?  Also really got his name on their radar for Shichibukai fun later. 

All three of these traits still show themselves post-timeskip, but up until Zou/Wano there is one big factor that’s changed.

Law is alone.

He’s sent his crew off somewhere safe (there is no other reason for ditching most of his fighting power all the way to Zou other than to just keep Doflamingo’s strings away), his scheming is reaching its peak, and then the Straw Hats come in and make a mess of everything.

I don’t know about you, but I’d be much more serious when I’m alone in a keystone of my greatest enemy’s lair with my nakama too far away to help, and then the Strawhats crash the party.

He’s met them once before, presumably also read about them in the News Coo, so he knows they do unpredictable things at the worst times.  He also knows they’re strong, so Scheming Law comes in again, allies with them to both try and stop them from messing everything up, and also get some additional firepower in to replace his crew’s strength (or at least a bit of it - considering the Strawhats are half the size of the Hearts and if anyone tries to tell me Law, Bepo and Jean Bart are the only powerhouses in that crew I will fight, how much exactly it compares is a grey area).

Too bad Luffy is, well, Luffy, and it doesn’t quiiite pan out the way Law planned (but he’s learning!  Latest chapter is gold).  But again, Punk Hazard: we see Pain in the Ass Law (vs Smoker), Scheming Law (basically main Law right now), and Protective Law (Heart Pirates hidden away safe).

And this continues into Dressrosa, with of course the addition of Tragic Backstory (it’s One Piece, he was going to have one.  Even if Law’s ends up particularly nasty).  Law is facing his greatest enemy, the one he swore to defeat after thirteen years, and then he gets outsmarted.  So we have out of his depth, defeated Law - although he’s still being a Smartass to Doffy because he can.  Again, I think being tense, snappy and generally not a happy guy is pretty fair in that situation.  Luffy simultaneously makes things better and worse - Law has to rely on him to get him out of there, and we know Law’s not one for trusting easily (Jean Bart’s recruitment is an interesting case and I wonder if he was planning on keeping him straight away or if it was another FU to the tenryubito plus ‘hey, fighting power’ moment but then Jean Bart was actually loyal and also a goof).  But Luffy does it, they win, hooray.

But now?  Now we have Law alone with the Straw Hats forming a Grand Fleet and he’s really back-footed here in terms of power balance.  It is Not Smart to rib the pirates who a) outnumber you like hell and you have no hope of backup anywhere and b) are the ones that are going to get you back to your own crew.  This isn’t like Sabaody, where there’s Luffy and Kid and he needs to prove himself to them as well as keep his crew safe.  His crew are safe (he thinks… we’ll get to that in a minute), Luffy’s seen him at his absolute worst in the last 13 years, and all his scheming for the last 13 years has reached a conclusion.

He’s lost, he’s tired, and really he just wants to go home to his nakama now.  Can you blame him?

Then, we get Zou.

Zou is fun.  Zou is really, really fun.  We get the reunion!  Which we see literally 1% of and I’m mad because that would have been so good to see.  Bepo literally jumps on him and he lets him.  I bet the rest of the crew did, too.  We see Law with his crew of idiots and he loves them and there’s so much scope in there for Law finally being able to relax for the first time since Time Skip.  And the Hearts get on well with the Straw Hats.  We see Penguin and Usopp dancing together later on, we see Law teasing his crew (not introducing them?  Their reaction to that is the sort of thing we would see other pirate captains punish for mutiny but he just shrugs it off.  He knew they’d react like that).

But there are two big elephants in the room here (unintentional pun whoops).  Number one: Sanji’s disappearance and his ally’s reaction to that.  We see that covered pretty well in canon, Law realising that his ally is about to have two yonkou after his head at the same time and the problem that poses for him, Law getting dragged into a new alliance with the Minks and Samurai (Law being a total goof about Raizo but Keeping Up Appearances because Strawhats).  Law presumably making the executive decision that breaking his alliance now would be a bad idea (Kaido is still annoyed with him, the Minks adore the Strawhats, Luffy is a clingy rubbery bastard that won’t let him go anyway), and once more we have a back-footed Law.

The second elephant is fun for me.  It’s never fully stated in canon, but.  Jack attacked the Minks.  The Heart Pirates were living with the Minks.  The Heart Pirates fought with the Minks (we saw that).  Bepo was treated by Nami (we also saw that).  The Heart Pirates got caught up in that whole mess.  At the minimum, the whole crew got poisoned alongside the Minks.  I reckon some of them were probably tortured, too.  Law came home to his crew expecting them to have been safe and they weren’t.  And now he’s asking them to go straight to the lair of the crew that did that to them.  That’s not going to settle particularly well with him, either.

We don’t see the journey to Wano (disclaimer: I haven’t seen anything past WCI in the anime so I have no clue what fillers may have been added), but there’s still four Strawhats and the samurai on board, so even back in his own ship Law can’t fully relax, but I bet he’s still like Zou-Law.  A little peeved, trying to work out how the hell he’s going to deal with Kaido with or without Luffy and the half of the Strawhats that have gone on a suicide mission, but genuinely happy to see his crew again.

Then he manages to kick all the intruders once they arrive at Wano, and the first we see of him, he’s chilling out.  Watching.  He even has his crew on info-gathering/watching (we see Penguin, Shachi and Bepo but I bet they’re all doing it).  Hello, Sabaody!Law!  Chilled, keeping an eye on things, scheming (just no-one to irritate because they’re trying to keep a low profile).

And then Luffy returns and we’re back to Punk Hazard, except this time, Law’s crew are in the mess, too.  Law’s plans are crumbling, Luffy is being a royal nuisance, and then things go from Bad to Worse.

I don’t know how far the anime has got so vague blanket manga spoiler warning from here.

Luffy gets captured.  Kaido knows they’re there.  Kaido attacks his crew.  If it wasn’t for Shinobu having a devil fruit useful in that situation, that would have been bye-bye Penguin, Shachi and Bepo.  So there go Law’s plans and his crew are in danger.  Punk Hazard but worse.

Then, thanks to the traitor, Penguin, Shachi and Bepo get captured.  They’re also accused of being the traitor, and Protective Law rears his head big time.  The Heart Pirates in effect leave the alliance.  Not officially, because Law knows he’ll need them later even if it’s only as bait while he gets the hell out of there with his crew, if required, but he strikes out and they hear nothing from him until voila, Penguin, Shachi and Bepo are back!

And this was the return of Pain In The Ass Law.  He’s smirking at Hawkins, and someone else I’m currently running with the theory of Drake.  Oh look, North Blue buddies!  Known Quantities.  Some scheme is hatched (looking forwards to that one).  He’s also protecting the hell out of his crew, because Hawkins hit him where it hurts (North Blue not-so-buddies.  Known Quantities.  Works both ways).

Now?  Now, we’re looped right back to Sabaody again.  The Three Captains are back, Law is back to being surrounded by idiots but still proving himself whilst protecting his crew and scheming (and this time knows how to include Luffy and Kid into his schemes!  Character development!).

It’s been two years, he’s been through hell (again, Oda please give him a break), but the core things we saw back in Sabaody?  They’re still there, and the closer he is to his crew the clearer we see them.

So to answer the question will he go back to that?  No, because that’s not how character development works, but I do think we’ll see the Pain In The Ass Law more once Protective and Scheming Law aren’t needed in earnest (unfortunately, as long as the Strawhats are around, he’s always going to have some sort of guard up because he’s learnt and he’s not stupid.  As they’re our protags, that means we’re probably only going to see Law much while he’s with them).

As for his crew?  We know, thanks to the SBS, that Penguin, Shachi and Bepo have known him since basically the day he lost Rocinante.  Whatever hell of a mess he is at the moment, it’s not going to be anything like 13yo Law after his whole life crumbled again.  It’s not known exactly when he meets the rest of the crew (except Jean Bart), but it’s somewhere in those 11 years between Minion Island and Sabaody (and maybe some again in the time skip).

So some of his crew, at least, have seen him worse and basically learn to love again (as cheesy as that sounds).  They might not like the blip, but they’ve seen him worse, so they’ll know that it’ll pass.  And as I’ve been saying, we’ve seen him far more without his crew than with them.  There’s a high chance that how he acts with them hasn’t changed as much as the change we’ve seen as readers.

This basically turned into an Essay on Law oops.  But it was a very interesting question!

[nemossubmarine]

Warhammer 40k: Wrath &Glory RP #29

The party gathers together themselves, aliens and Ferrus for a little party in the conference room. Alien booze is involved. There’s a game of Truth or Dare (mostly Truth tbh) that gets called. Larry and Alice do a little arm wrestling, which Larry totally cheats in, and Alice says that she let him win.  Coco asks Tirak what’s her favorite thing about La’awali is, and Tirak says it’s how her mind works, how she always thinks about things more deeply. Tirak dares La’awali to give her a kiss. La’awali asks Larry whether he finds Tau attractive, and Larry says that sure, they’re not bad looking. Larry asks Ferrus why he doesn’t sleep with his employers, and Ferrus tells that he used to sleep with a Captain, who, when Ferrus told him he could drop off some of his crewpeople on a war-torn planet, the Captain, apparently offended for being challenged, stranded Ferrus on the planet as well for several months. La’awali does a little dance and Coco admits to being afraid of flying beavers.

We learn that Alice has once pulled a truck off from top of a sewer grate and Alice is the only one who manages to learn a Kroot swearword. Ferrus asks what Izarak’s first time was like, and Izarak admits to maybe having some relations at the Ministrum school. Izarak asks Alice, what she would like to keep hidden from someone. Alice says she wouldn’t have liked her mom to know that she worked in the pits, but apparently her mom died young. Alice asks Ferrus what’s up with his name, and Ferrus tells that all his siblings are named after primarchs in some strange ploy to gain the family some luck (he has a sister named Leman, it’s not great). Larry tells about the worst instructor he had, a flight teacher who liked to humiliate his students.

Coco tells the tale of how she and Ace met; her family had found some eldar artifacts and invited an Inquisitor to look them over, Ace was the Inquisitor’s acolyte and that’s how Coco and Ace first came to know each other, but they started dating only after Ace had been made an Inquisitor. Coco asks Izarak what his favorite part of his job is and he says helping people. La’awali shows a hidden talent for handstands. La’awali inquires about what exactly Inquisitors do, and Coco doesn’t exactly answer the question, saying she doesn’t involve herself with Ace’s business much, but as far as she know, he studies eldar culture and artifacts. Larry tells Coco how he got to Dimmamar with Iris. Ferrus tells a bit what the Captain he used to sleep with was like (some rich kid, kind of handsome, okay in bed).

Ferrus wants to know what Tirak thinks of humans and she says that they’re oddly soft and squishy with no claws and blunt teeth, which she takes to mean that they must have been peaceful at one time, but she’s sure she could crack their skulls open very easily, except maybe Alice. Tirak asks Larry what the biggest human crime is, and Larry answers that it’s heresy (ie believing in wrong stuff). Larry asks Izarak if he has any kids, Izarak says no. Alice recounts walking in on a friend working (as a lady of the night) as the most embarrassing thing ever happened to her. Alice asks Ferrus who in this room he’d fuck. Well, he’s gay and both of the men in the room are employing him in some form, so... Larry’s apparently more his type. Ferrus asks Larry to name a person in his life that he misses the most, and when Larry is unable to name a single person, Ferrus asks whether this is the sort of game where stripping is punishment. Larry answers by taking off his shirt. He also calls out for Izarak to take off his robe (implication being he has lied on a question).

Tirak tells that she might want to be a painter if she wasn’t an engineer/soldier. Coco says that she and Ace might have kids one day, and humans do not lay eggs. Ferrus isn’t quite sure what he’d do if he weren’t a Navigator, which is what Coco asks, as he has literally no experience or knowledge with anything else. Maybe something like piloting? Settling down onto a planet is out of the question. Ferrus asks Alice what she is looking for in a woman, since that’s what they had been talking about. Alice says she would like someone smaller than her, someone quite homely and kind, someone to have a quiet life with. Alice questions Coco about who she was looking for in Asphodel, and whether she was doing it at the behest of Inquisition, as Alice had heard some rumors about that. Coco tells that she was looking for Ranan, and that the Inquisition had nothing to do with it, purely personal. La’awali says she’d like to take a holiday on a Tau planet renowned for its art. La’awali asks Larry for the meaning of his name and Larry lets her know he’s actually named Laurel, presumably after the wreath, though he isn’t sure if there’s more meaning to it than that. Alice tells Larry that she joined the gang by Julo seeing her fight in the pits. She could have become his second-hand woman immediately, but she opted to work for it instead. That’s enough of truth-or-dareing for the night. But the party is far from over.

At some point during the evening(?) Larry takes Alice aside. Alice asks how Larry is finding the party. Larry says it’s good to get to relax a bit after the ordeal they’ve been through. Larry asks about Alice’s lung and says it might be good to get a doctor to look it, at the same time as they get a doctor to take the spores off. Alice says that’s probably good, but she’ll have to save a lot of money to get it replaced. There’s a bit of confusion whether Alice actually works for Larry or not, but anyway Larry hasn’t paid her. There’s many people Larry hasn’t paid, but he’s getting in a better spot with his money, hustling, picking up stray rings here and there. You know, that sort of stuff. Anyway, he asked her to join him, because there’s something he wants to tell her, namely that he actually was educated to be a pilot, by the Imperial army and used to be a pilot for the army, a genuine navy boy. Alice takes this well, or as she says “there was a saying in the gang that all soldiers are bastards, but we’re okay with hanging around with Inquisitor’s girlfriend so I guess it’s okay” and “you might have been a bastard but you haven’t stayed a bastard”. Larry lets Alice know that the navy thinks him dead, so that might become a problem at some point. Alice lets Larry know that he can ask her for help if he needs it at any point.

Rest of the party goes pretty well. Coco gets quite talkative and friendly when drunk, but she is among the first to retire. Larry makes sure to act nice and friendly with Izarak, apparently feeling bad for calling him out. Izarak seems… not too pissed (?). 

In the morning Alice talks with Michael, wanting to know about how his acid spit affects his kissing abilities. Michael lets her know he can turn it off, so if he were to kiss someone (which he is not in the habit of doing) the receiver of the kiss would not get hurt. Alice is fascinated by this answer, as she is apparently really interested in Space Marine biology. And other biology too, as she mentions talking with Ferrus about Navigator eye makeup. Michael, somewhat confused, says he doesn’t wear makeup. Alice looks at him like he’s a bit of a dummy. Michael makes the point that he’s mostly just like humans, except bigger (somehow also him not sleeping with people gets brought up). Alice bravely resists asking about Michael’s dick size.

They eventually get to Mpandex. The Forge World is covered in a thick layer of smoke as is very common with the Mechanicus owned planets. They descend through the layer of smoke and find a factory the size of a continent and a sea. They locate an archipelago with movement and a light house. They agree that La’awali should hang around the empty islands of the archipelago, while the party drops off into the sea near the islands. They drift ashore and pretend to be unconscious, except for Alice who starts dragging people away from the water.

Pretty soon some servitors approach and grab them. They are taken inside the lighthouse, where someone begins to examine them. Alice “wakes up” at some point and comes face to face with a tech-priest, who appears to be wearing a swim-suit. He’s mostly human looking, except he lacks hair and eyebrows and appears to have cut off his own eyelids. His name is Chaerilus.

Alice claims to Chaerilus that she doesn’t remember anything, and when he gets a bit suspicious Larry miraculously wakes up and confirms her lie by also not remembering anything. Larry complains pains, saying he has some kind of tumors. Chaerilus also notes that Alice’s lung should be checked out, but she says she can manage, so Larry gets taken in first. Chaerilus asks if Larry would like to stop feeling pain, seeing that he is planning on opening his stomach up. Larry agrees and Chaerilus does something to his brain, so Larry is awake during the operation. Next he takes Alice in and does the same thing. He lets her know that she should look into getting a lung replacement through whichever faction she works for, when/if she remembers it. She asks how expensive they are, he says very.

Once Chaerilus has returned Alice everyone is a bit awake. All claim memory loss. Larry says he remembers the name Ross, but nothing else. None of the others remember anything before falling into the water. Chaerilus provides them with some Mpandex swimsuits to wear, and says that tomorrow he’ll take them to the mainland so that they can be put to use. After some prodding it turns out that Chaerilus tests how clothing fares against elements / weaponry. Mpandex is the biggest under-armor / swim garment manufacturer in the whole segmentum. The party says they’re getting tired, so Chaerilus says he’ll let them sleep and he himself grabs his wide-brimmed hat and heads out to fish.

[kayteewritessteve]

Your ‘One’.

Description: You arrive back in New York after 4 years abroad, to attend your older brother, thee Tony Stark’s, birthday party. And just when you’d given up on ever finding your soulmate, he finally comes along.

Masterlist HERE.

Word Count: 7,710 ish.

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader.

Rating: G.

Warnings: A couple swear words. And a few cheesy lines.

Requested: Yes, by the lovely, @ghostofthebarricade ! Who asked for a Steve Rogers x Reader Soulmate AU, with the first words tattooed on their skin, and the reader being Tony‘s little sister. So here is it, I didn’t stick entirely to what you’d asked for, as I seem to be just horrible at doing that. But I truly hope you like it nonetheless! And I can’t wait to hear what you think!!! ♥️♥️♥️

A/N: I sadly don’t own any of these characters. And no beta reader either, so I do proudly own all the errors and this story, so there’s that.

2 posts in one day. Dang, I’m on a roll!

28 years. That’s how long you’ve been alive, how long you’ve been on this planet, and how long you’ve spent staring at these damn words just below your left clavicle. Always wondering when you’d finally hear them aloud, hear the voice that would speak them. Curious what the owner of that voice would look like, sound like, smell like, just be like. What their job would be, their family life, their hobbies and interests. Their whole personality.

Would they like animals just as much as you?—Who are you kidding, of course they would, they are your soulmate. Your other half in every way. The person you are meant to love unconditionally, the one you’d build a life with, and possibly have kids with, one day, maybe. The one you were going to grow old beside, hand in hand, and happily in love.

And yet, where was this person? 28 years you’d spent looking for them. Searching the world for the one whose soul matched yours, completed yours. Feeling like your life was paused, on hold if you will, until you finally found them. Until they stepped into your life for the very first time. Because basically everything up to that magical moment was just life filler. It was just passing the time, as your life couldn’t truly begin without them.

But the more that time ticked on, the more disgruntled you became. Maybe you didn’t actually have a soulmate? Maybe you were an anomaly. Maybe you just weren’t good enough for a soulmate. Maybe in a past life you’d done something to piss off the God’s and as punishment for that, you’d have to go a lifetime without a soulmate. Without someone to love you on the deepest, most spiritual level. Someone who would accept you for exactly as you are. And not only that, but they’d love you for it as well.

You had watched every person you knew growing up find their ‘one.’ And yet, you were still entirely alone. God, even your brother had found his soulmate already. Something you genuinely never thought possible. He was a playboy. A reckless party animal—Which, don’t get me wrong, that isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but still, you’d done everything right. You’d kept your virtue intact. Steered clear of trouble, as best you could. Gotten good grades in school. Gone to university. You’d tried to make something of yourself, so that when the time finally came, and you did meet the one, you’d be ready. You’d have your own accomplishments to show them. Things that they could be proud of you for.

But yet, still nothing. No soulmate in sight.

You believed wholeheartedly that you’d meet them in university, you swore up and down that you would. And you’d dreamt about that special moment often. Dreamt about meeting them on campus on the first day. Or at the library when you were trying to find a specific book. Or maybe somewhere in town, when you were looking for a coffee house or cafe. So many different scenarios ran through your head, constantly, but every single daydream had one thing in common. You being lost, somehow, somewhere.

“Ma’am, are you alright? Are you lost?”

You grazed the fingertips of your right hand over the fabric of your shirt, in the place where it currently covered the black cursive writing, just below your left clavicle, and sighed. Maybe this would be the year?

With a deep inhale you glanced out of the cab window and watched as you passed the massive skyscrapers. New York. The city you were born in, the one you grew up in, and the one you’d left behind in your search for your soulmate.

See, because you’d been so adamant that you’d meet your soulmate in university, when graduation day finally came around, you refused to think about it. Refused to give up hope. But then 2 weeks after uni ended, and you had to begin the mad job hunt, you had to finally acknowledge that you’d been wrong on that original idea. 100%. You would not, and did not, meet your soulmate in university.

And then as that vivid realization smashed through you, something in you sort of just, snapped. Something in you went off the deep end and you decided you needed a change. Needed something new. Something more. So you planned it out, and then sat your brother down and told him all about it.

You had decided to travel, to explore the world before you had to settle down and live the 9 to 5 life. You wanted adventure. You wanted experiences. You wanted to attempt to not only find yourself along the way, but maybe also find your soulmate.

So even though you did plan most of your trip to a T, you left a bunch of open time blocks. You left yourself multiple chances to just get lost. Entirely and completely.

Because the only way to truly find your other half, was to first lose yourself. At least that’s what the words on your left clavicle were telling you.

But then 4 years later, nothing. Still freaking nothing.

You’d damn near seen the whole freaking world in those 4 years. You’d been more places then you could count. You’d seen, experienced and lived so many amazing things.

You had red sand boarded in Vietnam. Bathed in the thermal pools of Pamukkale in Turkey. Smoked authentic Cuban cigars in Cuba—which didn’t go well, and ended in you damn near coughing up a lung, but you can at least say you’d done it. You’d learned to belly dance in Egypt. Got a selfie with a Quokka on Rottnest Island in Australia. Gone to Zao Fox Village in Japan. Gosh, the list goes on and on. Too many magical things to name.

But yet, the one thing you’d set out to do, you hadn’t accomplished. You’d actually failed miserably on it, to be exact. You hadn’t managed to find your ‘one.’

“So much for needing to get lost,” you mumble under your breath to yourself, just as the cab pulls up to a familiar tower. One that, even after 4 years away, still looks exactly the same. You glance up at the massive structure and catch sight of the giant Avengers ‘A’, instead of the original ‘Stark’—okay, so maybe it’s not entirely the same, but freaking close enough.

You pay the cabby, and then grab your backpack and hop out. Going to the trunk to grab your duffle bag and insanely large suitcase. And then, as the cab pulls away, you just stand there, on the busy sidewalk, staring up at the tower. Tourists, fan girls, lookie-loos, and paps all hanging around, probably hoping for a glimpse at the world famous heroes living within the towers walls. All shuffling around near you, stepping around you, or bumping into you.

But you just continue to stand there, looking up at the physical form of your families legacy. At the empire your family built, and still continue to build.

You always thought the next time you’d see this place, that you’d be hand in hand with your soulmate, bringing them here to meet your brother. But instead, you are just here to celebrate your brothers birthday. The first one you’ve been able to come home for, in years. What with college and then traveling always getting in the way.

You sigh deeply, putting on your backpack, slinging your duffle bag over your shoulder and then extending the pull handle of your suitcase, before making your way into the ridiculously large and sleek lined structure.

You venture up to the front desk, and wait for one of the two, busy receptionists to be done on the phone. You would normally have just gone right up to your brothers office, but since the tower has been changed into the Avengers new headquarters, you aren’t exactly sure where your brother, or his office, currently are.

Plus with your exceptional luck—note the sarcasm—you’d probably end up walking into Sam Wilson's bedroom, or Natasha Romanoff’s living room. And then you’d have to awkwardly explain who you are, and that you just had no idea where you were supposed to go. And it would be a whole thing, one you are not interested in partaking in. At all. So instead you’d just wait at the front desk, and then politely ask one of the ladies where the heck Tony Stark is, currently.

You glance around the busy lobby, a drone of voices, footsteps, and laughter echoing around the giant space. Everyone has a place to be, or people to see. Everyone moving with such purpose, such drive, as they head off to various places. Off to get coffee, or lunch with a coworker, or upstairs for a meeting, or to Central Park for a run. And yet here you are, lost both in mind and physical form. Unsure where to go next, unsure of what is to come next.

“Can I help you?” A sweet voice rings in your ear and you turn back to face the stunning receptionist. Of course she’d be beautiful, you’d be willing to bet hard earned cash that your brother hired her. Most likely mainly due to her looks alone.

“Ah, yeah,” you shake your head, stifling your giggles at your last thought. “I’m um, I’m just wondering where Tony is at the moment?”

She furrows her perfect brows, as she looks at her computer monitor, the sounds of her nails clicking on the keyboard keys at a rapid pace now in your ears. “Do you have an appointment with him?”

“I don’t, but he knows I’m coming,” you start, but the unconvinced look on her face has you adding. “He’s expecting me.”

“What’s your name?” She asks as she flicks her eyes to you.

“Y/N,” you say quickly, pulling out your real ID and showing it to her, “ah Y/N Stark. His little sister.”

She takes the ID, giving it a quick look over. “Oh!” She says, as her eyes widen instantly at the last name, just like everyone else’s eyes always do the second they hear or see it.

Your last name holds weight all over the world. So you try to avoid telling anyone it, as the last thing you want is people treating you differently, entirely because of your last name. Or God forbid kidnapping you for ransom or something insane like that. Your brother does deals with a lot of horrible people—or rather, he pisses off a lot of horrible people. And you’ve travelled through some less than desirable countries over the last 4 years. Using an alias that your brother insisted on making for you. Y/N Y/L/N, being that alias. You even had a fake ID and passport with that name on it as well.

You using a fake name was—as your brother had put it, the day you’d told him of your plans to travel the world—‘the only way he’d feel comfortable with you being out there, alone. It would be the only way he’d be able to sleep at night.’ But you still had to call him every few days to check in, or he’d have sent people out to find you. And not just any person, a superhero at that.

How embarrassing would that have been? To have someone like Bucky Barnes, show up at Machu Picchu in Peru to find you. You’re sure all the other tourists with you that day would have loved it, but you? Yeah, not so much.

“Here you are, Miss Stark,” she says, handing you back your ID along with a special all access pass. “Mr. Stark is on the 89th floor, and you take that elevator, just over there,” she says sweetly as she points to it. “I have informed him that you are on your way up.”

“Thank you so much,” you smile and nod once, then head for the elevators.

The ride up isn’t long and before you know it the doors are opening and you are pulling your massive suitcase into a large, empty hallway. Glancing up and down it, but there is no one in sight. No Tony in sight. Where the heck is he? He should be here, he knew you were coming up.

You breathe out deeply, then decide to just explore until you find him. It was one floor, how lost could you get?

Very lost, the answer to that was. Very. Lost.

Let me just say this now, this may only be one floor, but it is a freaking labyrinth of a floor. You aren’t sure how long you have just been taking random corners in the hopes of finding someone, anyone—But Tony, specifically.

You’d even take finding the dang elevator again right about now. Anything would be better than what you are currently doing, which is just aimlessly wandering around. And whenever you’d come upon the end of a hallway, you’d just ‘eeny meeny miny moe’ to pick which direction to take next.

Where the heck is your brother?! Gah, you are so going to die here, alone in a random hallway of the tower. In a place where no one will even find your body for months, because this place it just too stupidly big. Too ridiculously large. Why?! Why does it need to be so dang—

“Ma’am, are you alright? Are you lost?”

Was that in your head!? Ah, nope, no, it was not! You completely freeze at the deep voice, saying the exact words you’ve said to yourself over and over again. The words that have plagued your mind, left you daydreaming endlessly, and had you fantasizing about how they’d sound finally falling from the lips of your ‘one’. The words that had started to haunt you, more and more, as the years ticked by.

Wondering, worrying, hoping and praying that you’d actually get to hear them aloud one day, and hopefully soon. Curious as to how your soulmates voice would sound uttering them, and let’s just say, you were not disappointed by how his deep voice, said the words you've been dying to hear for as long as you can remember.

The cursive writing on your clavicle tingles and heats up, deliciously. And your right hand shoots up to gently trace the spot, the fabric of your shirt the only barrier between your fingers and his words. Your heart beats at an alarming rate in your chest now, as your mind completely fogs over.

You turn slowly, so damn slowly, on your heel and come face to face with stunning, deep blue eyes. You don’t even clue in at first who they belong to, you are just so entranced by them. But that doesn’t last long, your eyes finally scan over his whole form, and you instantly want to faint. Or puke. Or both, maybe?

Captain Steven Grant Rogers stands about 5 feet from you now, the only other person in the hallway with you. So you know it was his voice that spoke the words written on you. You know he is your soulmate. Your ‘one.’ There is no other possibility. This is it, the moment you’ve always waited for.

And holy hell! Is this for real?! Is this a prank your brother is pulling on you right now? You glance around the hallway, looking for your brother, so you can pummel him if it is. Your eyes land back on the ridiculously attractive super soldier and, seriously?! Are you being punked right now?! Because..

“This has got to be some sort of joke?” You mumble quietly to yourself, and then you abruptly slap a hand over your mouth, feeling mortified. Not even realizing that those would be the first words you’d ever say to your soulmate, because the guy has super serum hearing for crying out loud. So of course he had probably just heard your stupid, thoughtless mutterings.

Your eyes widen, you assume comically, as your hand still sits over your mouth. Oh God, those are the first words you’d ever say to him!? Oh crap! Those are the exact words he has written on him?! The words he has probably had written on him his whole dang life. Even back when he was small and sickly. Oh shit, oh no! This is not good, not good at all! The image of a little Steve Rogers reading those words for the first time plays in your mind, and that instantly just breaks your heart into a million pieces. This is just your damn luck!

But then you watch as Steve’s face drops, becoming depressingly forlorn and downcast, as his right hand rubs at a spot on his left pec, directly over his heart. And you instantly need to fix this, you need to make him happy again. You can’t stand seeing him upset, so you drop your hand from your mouth, taking a small step towards him on instinct, as you go to fix your horrible blunder.

“Oh gosh, oh no, I didn’t mean it like that. I’m so sorry, I meant more that I have ah,” you glance around the empty hallway, trying to figure out how to word this so he will understand. “You see, I’m not upset in anyway that it’s you. That you’re it for me. It’s just that I’ve searched this whole darn planet to find you, to then only learn that you’ve been right here in the tower, in my home city, all along.” You sigh deeply, looking down at your feet as you mumble, more to yourself, “it’s just all rather maddening, really.”

A deep chuckle rings out in the silent hall, the glorious sound causes you to snap your eyes up to look at Steve again. “I can imagine,” he smirks, and it’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen. More beautiful then both the Plitvice Lakes in Croatia, and Oia, Santorini in Greece, combined. You’d know, you’ve seen both first hand. You’ve gazed upon both. “I’ve searched for you for over a 100 years.”

“Even with knowing that the first words I’d ever say to you, would be asking if this was all a joke?” You chuckle anxiously, glancing down at your fidgeting hands.

“Yeah, Doll,” he chuckles, your heart skipping at the sound and the pet name that so effortlessly fell from his lips, you glance up to lock eyes with him again. “Even with knowing that. I was always so curious what you’d mean by that line. I mean, when I was younger, I assumed it would be referring to my size, my health,” he shakes his head, as if to banish the memories now playing in his head of that hard time in his life. “But after the serum, after waking up from the ice, I had no idea what your meaning behind those words could have been about. I honestly wasn’t sure if I’d even ever actually get to hear them, get to finally learn why you’d said those exact words. What with being frozen for 70 years and all,” he shrugs one large shoulder, sadly. “I feared that I’d missed you. Missed my chance at meeting you.”

“I’m so, so sorry, again. Not just for taking so long to finally find you, but also for those being the first words I’d ever say to you. The words on your skin all these years, I can’t even imagine all the horrible things your mind conjured up about them.” You sigh deeply, lowering your head and mumbling, “I just feel so bad about all of this.”

“Hey, hey,” he says quietly, sweetly, “don’t feel bad, sweetheart. You had no control over it, it was just the hand Fate dealt us both. But I don’t regret any of this, at all, I’m actually really happy to finally know the reason behind your first words to me. Let’s just say this is a huge weight lifted,” he chuckles. Then adds quietly, “for a bunch of different reasons.”

You nod, your eyes meeting his once again, and just seeing his sincere smile, causes a large one to form on your own lips.

“That’s better,” he whispers happily, and you assume he is talking about you smiling now. He sticks his hand out to you, “I’m Steve Rogers, by the way.” His other hand rubs the back of his neck, as he awkwardly adds, “but I guess you probably already knew that, hey?”

“I did,” you giggle, and take hold of his hand, shaking it firmly, “and I’m—“

“Y/N!” A familiar voice cuts you off, echoing through the empty hallway. You glance passed Steve to see your brother walking hastily towards you. “There you are, Kiddo. I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”

“Tone’s,” you say quickly, reluctantly pulling your hand from Steves so you can hug your brother. “It’s so good to see you! Happy Birthday!” You say as you both embrace each other for the first time in years. You pull away from him, “damn, you got old!” Then you abruptly burst out laughing at the dramatic gasp, accompanied by the now indignant look on his face.

“You take that back!” He playfully scolds, “and I don’t get old, I get better with time. Like a fine wine, or an expensive bourbon.”

“Or like cheese?” You snort.

He narrows his eyes at you, but ignores your comment. “I see you’ve met Capsical,” he says as he turns to the man, patting him on the shoulder. The aforementioned who is now just awkwardly standing there, clearly unsure what to do here. Whether to leave you both to your moment, or stay and wait for it to be over.

“Yeah,” you nod, smirking up at Steve. “We were just in the middle of that.”

“Oh, then let me take over,” Tony says excitedly, gesturing to you, “Steve, this is my little sister, Y/N.” And you almost burst out laughing as Steve’s eyes widen comically, upon learning exactly who you are. Tony then gestures to Steve, “Y/N, this is Steve Rogers. Also known as Capsical.” Your brother loops his arm with yours, “alright, now that that’s over with, let’s go Y/N. I’ll show you around quickly and then take you to your room. We don’t have a lot of time before my partaaaaaay!” He says loudly with a flourish, as he begins to hastily pull you down the hall, and away from your soulmate. From Steve.

“Oh,” you say as you quickly try to keep up so you don’t fall flat on your face. “Ah, okay.” You look over your shoulder, saying loudly, “it was amazing to meet you Steve, I’ll see you later, yeah?”

He chuckles and shakes his head, probably at your brothers ridiculous antics. “Yeah, Y/N. You’ll see me later, promise.” You hear him say just as Tony pulls you around a corner and you lose sight of Steve entirely. You sigh, and turn your head back to face forward so you can watch where you’re walking.

After a moment, Tony pipes up. “So you and Capsical seemed to have hit it off pretty well,” he side eyes you. “You know he still hadn’t found his soulmate yet either, hey?”

You nod and shrug, “I gathered as much.” You could have told your brother right then and there, but you’d barely gotten to talk to Steve yet, much less feel comfortable going around advertising that he was your soulmate. Telling people, your brother included, was something you and Steve should discuss first, together. Something you both should sound off on, this wasn’t just your news to spill. It was both of yours.

Tony nods, “most people believe Peggy was his soulmate, there is even a small write up about it at the Smithsonian exhibit. They asked us all for comments on it, but Steve wasn’t interested in divulging whether or not she actually was. He wanted to keep her personal privacy, and his own, intact.”

“Understandable,” you nod. “I’d have probably not told them either. That exhibit is ridiculous, I can’t even imagine how it makes Steve feel having all these people, these strangers, gawking at his life like he’s some sort of circus attraction. He deserves a little privacy in his life, and a few of his life secrets staying just that, secrets.”

“Could you imagine if they made an exhibit about my life?” Tony chuckles, then promptly shutters.

You laugh, “oh God, let’s just hope they never do! The things they’d dig up about you, and me most likely as well. I’d never forgive you for that!” You say playfully, laughing a little more.

“Like your 8th grade school photo?” He raises an eyebrow, a stupid smirk on his face.

You shutter at the memory of that day, you’d attempted to cut your own bangs the night before your school photo day. And it had not gone well. At all. You’d cut them while your hair was still wet, and ended up with bangs only covering half your forehead. It wasn’t a good look for you. Not at all. “Thanks for the reminder, now I will do everything in my power to make sure they never make an exhibit for you. Solely just to ensure that those photos never see the light of day, ever again.”

He laughs loudly beside you, and then you both continue to just catch up, as he gives you a tour of the new layout of the tower. You telling him about all of your adventures and him telling you about his, and even though you always love being around your brother. Your mind is completely fixated on other things. Or one thing, actually. That being a ridiculously handsome and large, blonde super soldier, one who just so happens to be your soulmate. And then all you can think is that you can not wait to see him tonight at Tony’s party.

You give yourself one more final look over in the mirror in your room, hoping a certain tall blonde Captain likes the dress you’ve chosen to wear. You really, truly hoped he does. After Tony gave you the ‘tower tour-lite,’ as he’d called it, since you didn’t have much time for a full tour before you had to start getting ready for the party. He’d brought you to this guest room, and then he’d headed off to get ready himself. Leaving you to shower, do your hair and makeup, and then paint yourself into your form fitting dress.

You nod to your reflection, pleased with how everything turned out and then you gather up all the fabric to your floor length, white satin gown and head for the door. The gown was new, you’d only just bought it a few days ago, as you didn’t actually own anything that would have worked for the party’s all white theme.

It was an absolutely stunning dress though, you’d fallen in love with it even before you’d tried it on. And you secretly want to just live in it, no really, you actually do. Like go about your day to day life just wearing it, go grocery shopping in it, do the dishes in it, stroll through the park in it. Basically you just never wanted to take it off, that was what you were getting at here.

The dress had a deep plunge in the front and left the upper half of your back exposed. Showing a tasteful amount of skin, but covering all the important bits. As was your style to a T, plus this was your older brothers birthday celebration, and you refused to walk in there scantily clad and looking like a dang hussy.

Plus your soulmate would be there, ya know, the one you just met and now desperately wanted to look good for. But better than good, you wanted to knock his dang socks off with just one look at you. You really wanted him to like that way you looked, I mean, you knew he would even if you were wearing a dang black garbage bag. But you know that feeling of wanting the person you’re interested in to love how you looked all done up. It was a total confidence boost if they did, even if the time leading up to them finally seeing you, was thee most nerve wracking experience ever. It would all be totally worth it though, if their breath hitched at just the mere sight of you.

That’s what you were aiming for here, leaving Steve completely and utterly wide eyed and speechless. Gosh, you really want him to be. More than anything you’ve ever wanted before in your life. Hands down.

You enter out into the hall and head towards the elevator. Once it arrives, it quickly whisks you down to the party floor and as the doors open, you come face to face with a giant room full of people, all dressed in white. Music plays throughout the room, as waiters shuffle about with trays of champagne and different hors d'oeuvre. There are three bars, that you can see, scattered throughout the giant open space.

Your eyes scan the room, as you rise slightly on your tiptoes, trying to see over everyone. Your eyes searching for one person, and one person only. And plot twist, it’s not the birthday boy you’re looking for currently. You begin to walk into the crowd, still searching for Steve as you go.

But just as you believe you’d finally located him, off near the other side of the ballroom, his back to you as he talks to a few people, an arm loops with yours before you can even take a step towards him.

“Finally you’re here, and we can really get this party started!” Your brothers excited voice sounds in your ear and you glance to your right to see his big, joyful smile. Which in turn causes you to smile widely at him, you’d truly missed him during your travels. You both weren’t too close as kids, just due to the age difference and the fact that when your parents died, Tony had to take on their role and basically raise you. But as you grew older, the bond grew as well, morphing from parental to brotherly. So now you both were like actual siblings, ya know, since his maturity level was basically stuck as a 20 something year old. You giggle at that thought.

“Happy Birthday, Tone’s!” You say happily as you kiss his cheek. “You having a good time so far?”

“Much better now that you’re here,” he says then he abruptly turns on his heel and drags you in the opposite direction of Steve. Which makes your heart drop a little. You just want to see him up close so bad, see how he looks in a suit. Especially an all white one. Oh gosh, now that image is stuck in your mind. And you might actually drool on yourself because of it. You are willing to bet he looks exceptional in a suit. Oh, now you just so badly want to know if that last thought is true or not. “Let’s get a few drinks into you, so you can get on my level!”

You chuckle again, shaking your head and deciding to just focus on Tony for right now. It is his birthday party after all. Plus, you honestly want to have a drink, or 5, just to calm your insane nerves. “That is, hands down, the greatest idea you’ve ever had,” you say playfully as you smirk at him.

“What, robots not good enough for you?” He scoffs.

“Not when they try to take over the world and attempt to kill you, along with all the other avengers,” you narrow your eyes at him.

“Okay, that was a poor example,” he sighs, and at least he has the decency to look slightly ashamed with himself.

“Yeah, you probably should have led with ‘badassium’,” you laugh. “At least that one saved your life. Instead of trying to end it.”

He chuckles as you both reach the bar, “Fury was not pleased when I wanted to patent it as that. Said I’d encounter ‘several bureaucratic obstacles.’” He shrugs, a cheeky grin on his lips, “I don’t see any problems with the name I gave it.”

“Of course you don’t,” you roll your eyes fondly, then give the bartender your drink order and as you wait, you glance around the room, your eyes involuntarily scanning for the tall blonde Captain again.

“Who you looking so intently for, Kiddo?” Tony questions, glancing around the room as well. As if there’d be neon lights pointing to the person you were trying to find.

“No one,” you shrug, looking at him. “Was just checking everything out. Pepper set this all up, I take it?”

“She did,” he nods, “I’m going to ignore how offensive it is that you’d assume I had no hand in planning any of this,” he playfully glares at you. “Because I know you’re lying and just trying to distract me from noticing by triggering me. But I will have you know, this party sucks in comparison to the ones I usually plan,” he says smugly. “So spill it, Kid, who are you searching for?”

“Drop it, or I’ll inform Pepper that you said her party planning sucks,” you smirk.

Tony’s face visibly pales, “you wouldn’t.”

“Try me,” you give him the best poker face you can muster up.

“Fine,” he sighs, “I’ll drop it. For now. But I’m gonna find out who you’re looking for, mark my words.”

You giggle, patting him on the shoulder patronizingly, “good luck with that, Tone’s.” You pick up your drink off the bar top, the bartender having just placed it there. “Please don’t do anything too strenuous to figure this out, though. We wouldn’t want you breaking a hip at your own birthday party, now would we?” You laugh boisterously as you quickly walk, dang near run, away from Tony as fast as you can. And even with ridiculously high, heels on, you aren’t letting anything hinder your hasty escape.

Though you aren’t fast enough as you manage to catch Tony gasping loudly and then yelling, “you’ll pay for that one, Kid!”

“I look forward to it!” You yell back over your shoulder at him. And then slip into the crowd, making your way towards the place you’d last seen Steve. Which honestly wasn’t your brightest idea, as Tony would probably be keeping an eye on you now, trying to figure out who you were looking for.

But honestly, you really just didn’t care if he figured it out or not. He’d obviously learn who Steve was to you soon enough. Really, you just didn’t tell him because you liked messing with him whenever you could, as much as you could. However once you've had a chance to actually talk to Steve, Tony will be the first person you tell the news to. He was your only family after all. The only person in the world you loved more then yourself. Well, for now at least. Until you truly got to know Steve Rogers, then he’d join that very short list in your heart.

Your eyes scan the room once more, landing on broad shoulders and a muscular back, wrapped deliciously in a tight fitting white suit jacket. If that wasn’t a dead give away that you’d found who you’d been looking for, then the iconic blonde hair would have been. Your eyes travel the length of him, and even though his back is facing you, you have to suppress a delightful shutter. But you can’t stop yourself from biting your lip.

A movement in front of him causes your eyes to flick to it, see Bucky Barnes looking directly at you. The smirk on his lips leads you to believe he’d seen you shamelessly checking his best friend out. Though turns out, from the heat that is currently rising in your cheeks, it wasn’t actually shamelessly. The fact that someone had caught you is rather embarrassing, actually. And then you see Bucky lean forward slightly, whispering something to Steve, before he nods his head in your direction.

Steve turns slightly to glance over his shoulder, looking slightly confused as he looks around but then his eyes land on you. And instantly his they widen, and his mouth drops open slightly as he gives you a very thorough once over. His eyes completely drinking you in as if you are the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. The eighth wonder of his world.

And bam, got him, you think. An involuntary grin forms on your lips at that thought. This was the exact reaction you’d been hoping for, this was exactly why you’d spent a ridiculous amount of time on getting ready. It had all paid off though, it had been entirely worth it for this one moment.

You walk right up to him, stopping a foot away and smiling up at him, “hey, you.”

“Uh hi,” he whispers breathlessly, his eyes slipping down to take you in once again. But then he abruptly snaps his eyes up to yours and shakes his head. As if to chide himself for openly looking, or to clear his mind of wherever it just travelled to. You can’t really be too sure which it is, but you secretly hope it’s the latter. “You uh, you look absolutely stunning, Y/N.”

“Thank you,” you say, your hand instinctively comes up to smooth out his lapel, as if you’d done this hundreds of times before. “You look very handsome in this suit, Steve,” your eyes lock with his, as his hand comes up to cover yours, still resting on his chest. But then someone clearing their throat loudly nearby has your eyes flicking in that direction.

Your sight lands on Bucky, smiling at you both, “you gunna introduce me to your lady, Punk?”

Steve sighs, shaking his head, though the fond smile on his lips tells you he is entirely used to this from Bucky. And that his friends forwardness doesn’t actually bother him anymore. You glance at Bucky, then at Steve, and the smile on his lips now looks unsure, nervous even.

His hand lowers both of yours off his chest, but he doesn’t let it go of it as he leans forward slightly, whispering, “Bucky sort of pried it out of me. Ya know, that we met in the hallway earlier, and that you're my uh, my soulmate.” He rubs the back of his neck with the hand not currently holding yours, “I really hope you don’t mind.”

“I don’t mind at all,” you smile reassuringly at him. “Though I haven’t actually told Tony yet, so let’s just not tell him that Bucky knew before him, okay?” You giggle. “He’d never let me live that down.”

“Deal,” Steve chuckles, nodding his head. He turns, still holding your hand in his and then lightly pulls you towards his best pal.

“Buck, this is Y/N,” he glances down at you, lovingly. Which makes your heart skip a beat. “My soulmate.”

“So nice to finally meet you, Doll,” he says and then two arms wrap around you, lifting you up and gently pulling you away from Steve, “and it’s about damn time you finally showed up!”

You giggle as you just dangle there, in the air, wrapped in a giant, super soldier bear hug. “You too, and it’s really great to finally be here,” you say as you glance over your shoulder at Steve.

“Alright Buck, put her down,” Steve chuckles, and Bucky listens, placing you down, gently.

You quickly check that all your important bits are still covered, and once you see that they are, you quickly smooth out your dress and glance around. Noticing that the commotion has now drawn the attention of everyone around you, their eyes all locked on the three of you. You step back so you are next to Steve once again, feeling slightly anxious to have all these eyes on you now.

“Don’t worry, they will get distracted by something else shortly,” Steve whispers down to you, as if he’d just read your mind.

You look up at him and nod, “I guess I’ll just have to get used to all the eyes on me again. No one really knew who I was the last 4 years, so I got sort of used to the anonymity.”

“It’s really not so bad anymore,” Steve shrugs, “most New Yorkers are used to us now, so they don’t really react when they see us around. It’s mainly just the tourists you have to watch out for,” he chuckles.

“Yeah, they can be a little,” Bucky starts, scrunching up his face, “handsy, at times.”

You giggle, picturing the insanely large Winter Soldier running away scared from a large mob of enthusiastic tourists. Yet the guy storms Hydra facilities without so much as a second thought. “That sounds truly awful,” you gasp, feigning shock and outrage. “How do you ever manage!?”

Bucky sighs deeply, grumbling out, “yup, your the Punks other half alright.”

You and Steve laugh, as he wraps an arm around your waist and pulls you closer to his side. Clearly unfazed about the people around you seeing this, and the look in his eyes give you the distinct impression that he’d happily shout from the rooftops that you are his soulmate. But you can’t judge, as you’d probably be right beside him, yelling from the rooftops as well.

“That she is,” he says proudly, smiling down at you. “Would you like to dance, Doll?”

“Oh no,” you shake your head adamantly, “nope, no. I don’t dance. I have two left feet.”

He shrugs, “so do I. But we can be horrible together.”

“Okay, if you insist,” you sigh, nodding. “But when I step on your toes, just remember you asked for it.”

“I’ve taken worse for less gratifying reasons,” he shrugs. “Getting to finally dance with you will be entirely worth it. Plus, I heal quickly,” he laughs and pulls you towards the dance floor.

“Well thank goodness for that,” you sigh, knowing his toes are going to take a beating.

You both reach the dance floor and Steve takes one of your hands in his, as his other slides around to your lower back. Your free hand ending up on his shoulder and then he begins to lead you both. And surprisingly, you manage to not only keep up, but you haven’t stepped on him once.

You both just look at each other for a moment, neither one speaking a word. But then Steve smirks, “I thought you said you had two left feet?”

“I did. But I guess I just needed the right partner.” You raise a brow at him, “though I distinctly remember you saying you did as well. So much for being horrible, together,” you sigh playfully.

“We should have known,” he baits, shaking his head.

You bite, taking the bait. “Known what?”

“That we’d be perfect together,” he says through a giant goofy, lopsided grin.

And you can’t help it, honestly you can’t, you burst out laughing at this big beautiful, cheesy man in front of you. “That was so bad,” you scold playfully as you laugh a little more.

And all you can think in this moment is, you’d finally found him, and you couldn’t have been more happy with the man Fate had chosen for you. The man that completed you, that was made just for you. The same one you’d get to love unconditionally, and who’d love you just as much in return. The very one you’d get to build your life with, possibly have kids with, and grow old beside, hand in hand, and happily in love.

Steve was it, he was Your ‘One’. And he was entirely worth the wait.

Bonus scene.

You and Steve finish your dance and he leads you off the dance floor, back towards Bucky. You glance up and notice that Bucky isn’t alone anymore, he is now surrounded by all the other Avengers.

Your brother included. And oh shoot, here we go. You glance up at Steve, seeing he is already looking at you, “should we just tell them all now, rip it off like a bandaid?”

He chuckles, “probably best.”

As soon as you both get to the group you go to open your mouth, but Tony beats you to it. “I figured it out,” he says triumphantly. “I told you I would.”

“Figured what out, Tone’s?” You play dumb, raising a questioning brow at him.

“I know,” he nods towards Steve, grinning like the cat that got the canary. “I figured it out all on my own,” he says proudly.

Pepper sighs and rolls her eyes, “he had Friday playback the hallway footage of you two meeting earlier.”

“Pepper!” Tony gasps. “She wasn’t supposed to know about that!”

“All on your own, hey?” You laugh loudly.

“Fine, fine, so I had a little help,” he mumbles, waving it off. “But I’d just like to point out that I actually created Friday, so technically I didn’t have any outside help. I just smartly used my own tech to my advantage,” he grins smugly but then his smile turns softer, “but congratulations, Kid. You couldn’t have ended up with a better guy.”

You detach from Steve and step forward towards Tony, you both share a loving hug, “thank you so much, for everything, Tony.”

You pull away and he just holds your shoulders, slowly looking you over, “I’m so happy for you, Y/N, you deserve nothing but the best.” He glances passed you to Steve, “both of you.” He looks back to you, “and from the looks of it, you both got just that.”

You just nod, staying silent for fear your voice will crack, as you feel the tears welling up in your eyes. So you blink quickly to eradicate them before they can fall.

“Uh,” Sam starts, looking around at the others, “anyone else super lost right now?”

Clint raises his hand, “I am.”

“I’m not,” Bucky says smugly, winking at Sam just to rub it in a little more.

Thor leans down to whisper to Nat, and you’re instantly positive that he doesn’t actually know how to whisper, as you can clearly hear him. “Uh, who is Y/N?” He asks, not unkindly though.

“Tony’s kid sister,” she quickly whispers back, waving him away but keeping her eyes locked between you and Steve. The smirk on her lips tells you she already knows exactly where this is going and doesn’t want to miss a single word.

Steve chuckles, shaking his head and looks to you, a question in his eyes. You smile and nod, telling him it’s okay and to go ahead, as you quickly move to stand beside him.

He quickly takes your hand and gives it a squeeze. “Everyone, this is Y/N. For those of you who don’t know, she is Tony’s little sister,” he looks down at you, so many happy emotions swimming in his eyes, and your positive yours match his currently. “And my soulmate.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

@hopefulmoonobject @caps-lockdown @itsstillnotwhatyouthink @tessvillegas @boxofteenageideas @wangdeasang @giggleberts @casuallydarktiger @theonelittleone @agentbadbitch @ratwrites @starrystellars @bandsandanimefreak @rockyroadthepastryarchy @lovvliies @cuffski @icesoccerer @alwaysright4 @lilsthethrills @imdiegohargreeves @zombiepotterfour @mu-mu-rs @ledandan1244 @straightforwardly @denzmallows @xremember-me-notx @gwynethjodie @lollipopdomination @capstopavenger @jemimah-b99 @rcvenqers @justkending @marvel13princess @alagalaska @silent-loucidity @sabertooth-potato @pies-wands-and-more @interstellarmess @gabriella69816 @phantom-soilder @wordlesscaptain @captain-hammer-of-asgard @starstucknature @viarogers @pixieferry @kaithezaftig @the-kinkiest-goblin @hysterically-original @badassbeckettswan @heyiamthatbitch @zlixlle @capsicledoll

[commander-orca]

COTW fanfiction

CHAPTER 6: SEEMS LIKE BACK THEN

He should have known. Orca should have seen clearly through the captain. These were the thoughts that ran through his mind as he turned back and walked towards the Faleina Gardens. As satisfying as it was to jump to conclusions and deduce that Suoh had shown nothing but false kindness to him, that was not the truth. Orca had seen in his heart many times and if this masquerade had been only the effect of a game, carefully prepared and for the sole purpose of punishing him, he would have known it immediately. People couldn't lie to him without him discovering their true self. The genuine Suoh was a young man who preached forgiveness and worked for peace. If Orca could set foot on this island without being worried - or almost, he observed, gazing at a few malicious glances around him on the upper reaches of the village - it was thanks to his reconciliation policy. It was thanks to his humility and his empathy for Humans that made him understand that pain and emptiness sometimes push Men to commit atrocities. His respect for all life made him believe in a possible redemption in everyone and in the intrinsic good of even the worst Man. Suoh was calm and loving, but words and gestures didn't always reveal everything that was going on in either person's head. Obviously something was odd. The most godly being could not go on on living as if nothing happened when his people died at his feet. There was something out of whack in his gaze, a hesitant gleam, that didn't yet know whether or not he was enjoying the beginnings of this sadism. Of this terribly human sadism.

The day passed with not too many new inconveniences. Orca participated in a new war council during which the rules they had previously established were deepened or changed according to the limits the Whale possessed. The most pacifists had reconsidered their positions, had suggested new attempts at negotiations despite Orca's detailed explanations on the Karakarias’ commander’s personality. There was no way you could bargain with Sarigari, Orca knew it better than anyone. And yet these mules persisted. Suoh had stood up for him for a moment, declaring that there was nothing they could do against such a cruel man whose weaknesses they knew nothing about. There was uneasiness in the room and Orca had known, not even needing to raise his head to look at them, that everyone had stopped and thought: 'and yet we’ve picked up the madman'. But he took no notice nor any offense. He was thinking of Suoh and the way their eyes had met during a silent moment. The young chief had immediately turned his head away, his gaze dark. If he had been from this island, Orca would have found the Captain's recent behaviors disturbing and would certainly have addressed them with him. But he was only an outsider, a scourge for the most part. His voice was worth nothing and talking to Suoh would surely bring unnecessary mayhem. Plus, maybe it was this morbid interest he was taking in overseeing the way Suoh's character morphed, but part of him maybe wished to see what would occur if the captain of this island broke away from his utopian ideas. More than anyone, Suoh deserved to make a few mistakes, to let his anger explode, to be brittle, brutal and resentful, at least once in his life.

Orca made his way to his new home without detours this time. All the advisers' voices still talked uselessly and endlessly in his head and he yearned for some calm. He had come by the infirmary earlier to see how Kannavi was doing, since he had volunteered to help as a nurse. They had agreed to meet later. Orca was happy to see that he was already acclimating just fine. Once home, Orca heated up the plants his sister had provided for his dinner on a tiny wood-fired stove. The aroma that emanated from it was tasty. The heat of the cooking, however, reminded Orca that his clothes here felt heavy and bulky. He wouldn't last long in that thick robe; it was unsuited to the hot and moderately humid climate of the island. He would soon have to find a new one. The man had barely seated himself at the table when an individual rushed into his house, slamming the door against the wall. Orca looked startled for a second, then relaxed almost immediately, seeing that it was only Kannavi. A smile rose to his lips; his presence comforted him more than any other. In his company, he didn't feel the need to prove himself and unlike the others, Kannavi didn’t expected nor tried to get anything from him.

“Orca! "

The silhouette of his friend quickly shed his shoes and his first aid kit. Orca let out a small laugh.

"Always so motivated when it comes to lazing around with me, aren't you?"

Kannavi stepped into the lamp light, followed by a rustle of fabric, and collapsed on Orca's bed. His arms crossed behind his head, he stifled a yawn.

“I deserve it! I spent the day picking up plants and restocking ... "he complained.

"Yet it was you who offered your ai- Hey a minute!" Orca cried, amazed.

He pointed to the garment his friend wore; it was a long, airy tunic that went down to his calves, cut three-quarters at the sleeves and relaxed at the collar. By candlelight, it took on a light gray and taupe hue. Kannavi straightened up immediately, his fatigue forgotten.

“It's stylish, isn't it? "

He spun around so Orca could notice the presence of an ocean blue ribbon dividing the clothing at the waist, as well as thin white linen pants. The whole thing gave him a carefree air and the colours of the countryside. He wore these fabrics with ease, as if he had always lived here.

“I was choking in the sun, so I was offered these clothes. I like them quite well, they are very convenient and light. I can make grand movements ”.

Kannavi immediately illustrated his point by taking strange poses like the comedian he was. Orca was amused, he bent down and slid the fabric of the robe between his fingers.

"It's very pretty indeed!"

He got up on his legs and indicated his dinner to his friend with his hand. The plants in the bowl were still steaming and there was enough for more than one stomach. With the small bedroom only having one chair, they both huddled along the length of the bed and munched on the herbs. There was something deeply peaceful and domestic about the atmosphere in the room when filled with the right people. The clicking of the cutlery against the ceramic tinkled in this comfortable silence, accompanied by the regular creaking of the wooden structure. A single painting, hung in the middle of the wall without any other ornamentation, swung, almost unnoticed, along its cord. The painting of the sea of ​​sand it depicted seemed to blow by itself out of its frame.

"Did they teach you what it was?" He asked, after a while, his bite upside-down, stuck between the tines of the fork.

"I think so ... But I have no idea what it is anymore," Kannavi replied, shrugging, "You know I never recall anything I’m told!"

-True ! That's why you got kicked out of the army!”, Orca chuckled.

Kannavi slumped down again against his friend's mattress.

"I'm exhausted, I'm gonna fall asleep here ...

"If that makes you happy ... Only, one of us would probably end up on the floor," Orca chuckled before falling beside him on the mattress with a thud.

Kannavi stared at him for a second, eyebrows furrowed and eyes narrowed. The features of his face deepened until he uttered a slight exclamation, then stood up to rummage in his briefcase.

" I forgot ! "

Another laugh.

"Yes ... You forget everything!"

-No, I'm serious. Take a look! "

Orca stretched his back and slowly straightened up. He stared at him vaguely, his head spinning with fatigue, his cheeks flushed and his thoughts no longer in place. Kannavi placed the thing in front of him, forcing him to take a step back to see better. He noticed a long white tunic, adorned with a black ribbon. His style and cut were the same as his friend's.

" For you ! I stole it from the tailor. I thought you might need it considering the way you walk around this island. You look like a ghost chained to his ball! "

The man opened his mouth, stunned. He was less surprised at Kannavi's manners and habits than at the circumstances and the place surrounding the action.

"We're not in the army anymore… You should avoid doing that…" Orca scolded him, a little unsettled, but he did not get angry at him.

“It wasn't completely irresponsible. I knew that if I didn't steal it, nobody would give one to you ”.

Orca's chest clenched tightly, his body overwhelmed with bitterness. The curse of this island began to operate; he felt carried by a flood of emotions which, matter of time, would end up irrigating him entirely. He was touched by the gesture.

Kannavi seemed to detect this change in his face.

“You look changed again. You're almost like that time, when you had come back from the island ... "

Orca stared at him in the whites of his eyes, stunned and almost apprehensive at the words that were coming out so easily from his friend's mouth. There was a fear that pinched his stomach and panicked the more he sank into Kannavi's eyes. He was fighting the terrible letting go of those feelings he had believed lost and which not only brought back the part of him he wished to hide, but also brought back what he had long considered to be his authentic self. be. The gargantuan line of emotions long repressed and untreated in him, aroused a dazed panic that threatened to drown him under this torrent of affect.

Kannavi placed his hand on his heart, his eyes finally escaping the limpness that had hunted him all his life.

"I think I'm also starting to feel things ..."

The edges of Orca's lips quivered.

“I feel like crouching down and balling my eyes out when I think of my parents. And when I saw some kids playing today, my heart started pounding, even though I hadn't run since yesterday. So that’s it, what these bewildering sensations you had dreamed of are? "

Orca met his gaze once too much. It was all he had wanted for many years; to be able to offer his friend a universe which would make him discover what he could have been in a world without the Empire. Watching Kannavi blossom into  the variety of human emotions and experiencing them with all the intensity he deserved would be his treasure. However, too many memories came back to him; those they had been able to live together without knowing how to express what they felt and how much they cared for each other or how much their loneliness weighed on them. But also those whom they had lived apart, in the decisive turns of their lives which should have stuck with them and their hearts but had left only a bland and dull memory, as well as in the most innocuous situations which should have left them marvel at simplicity. All these moments were superimposed on this scene, now, like a temporal layer that one would have placed on this present one.

What was left to do when a hundred feelings were released and projected out of their cage onto someone who knew no way to figure out what all those gestures would mean anyway? Orca had a heavy heart. He thought of Kannavi and imagined his parents without too much difficulty. How many years had his friend lost before he could finally be himself? How many moments of indifference had replaced those that should have been made to bring him joy, pain, fear, excitement, tenderness ...

Orca lowered his head. His hands gripped the fabric of his dress, but it turned out to be unnecessary. Tears started to stream down his cheeks. In an instant, his upright and majestic posture had collapsed, revealing the hunched posture that had previously defined him as much as his number in the army.

"Orca ..."

Kannavi breathed him, taken aback, but ultimately not really. After all, he was used to his friend's frequent crying sessions. The young man reached out and gently ruffled Orca's hair. There was little to do when they arose... Other than to bring him comfort.

"I didn't think that would make you cry, Orca ..." he wondered, slightly grumpy. “Sorry, it's my fault”.

And, as Orca wasn't moving, and his tears didn't stop, Kannavi gently pushed his hands away from his eyes and pulled him into a protective embrace. Long white hair cascaded down Kannavi's shoulders as Orca buried his face in the crook of his shoulder. When the crying was reduced to faint sniffles and no light was visible outside, Kannavi inquired:

"Which Orca am I talking to?" "

He lowered his head into Kannavi's hair.

"The weak one ..."

Kannavi retained their embrace and closed his eyes. His presence comforted him more than the others. They had known each other as the two stumbled through existence, struggling to recognize their dreams and imagine themselves happy one day. They had known each other at a time in their lives that seemed like a dead end. Stuck together. Orca had been the first person to befriend him, to show him of his importance. Something like this was unforgettable. But above all, he had been the first to need him, to prove to him that he was not born incapable and that he could bring things to others. When he was busy soothing Orca, these words took on full meaning.

"You should give him a little more room ... I think this Orca likes it here ..."

The young man bent down to grab the garment he had stolen, without shifting his friend.

"Don't you want to try on the dress then?" It would look good on you, you know ... "

Orca slowly pulled away and wiped his already dry eyes. He sat up straight on the bed, his hands between his legs and stared at the robe.

“Imagining yourself in it and trying it on is not the same,” Kannavi protested, “Anyway, I took it now. I'll tell them I gave it to you. "

The look Orca gave him was not convinced, but he took the robe anyway, removed his old black garment and pulled the new one over his pants. Finally, he tied the dark ribbon around his waist.

“Wow! Looks like a whole different person to me. Disturbing... ", Kannavi commented.

Orca made some movement inside the garment. The fabric didn't rub his skin, it gently tighten around his waist and protected him from the chill of the night without being suffocating. He threw himself a curious glance in the mirror. He looked ... He looked like he did when he came back from Kitrino. He looked like a carefree young man, who knew how to laugh heartily and who would run in the cornfields, rush to help the neighborhood and climb up the trees. Much had changed since then. His body was no longer the same. And the gleam that shone in his eyes once, followed a very precise direction which now had gone astray ... But he would not cry for Kitrino any more. He had already shed all his tears, once.

Orca turned around and the robe fluttered in front of him. His smile was clear and playful.

"I love this dress, Kannavi".

And, looking at each other, they shared an instant of joy, stolen away from the world.

[terramythos]

TerraMythos' 2020 Reading Challenge - Book 14 of 26

Title: The Count of Monte Cristo (1840s)

Author: Alexandre Dumas (English translation by Robin Buss)

Genre/Tags: Fiction, Historical Fiction, Revenge, Adventure, Classic, Re-Read, Slow Burn, Third-Person.

Rating: 10/10

Date Began: 5/07/2020

Date Finished: 6/13/2020

Young Edmond Dantès is about to get everything he’s ever wanted-- he’s set to marry the woman of his dreams and become captain of a distinguished trade ship. However, everything goes wrong when several jealous rivals frame him for a crime he did not commit, landing him in a horrific prison with no hope of trial or escape. After years of solitary confinement and despair, Dantès by chance meets a wise old abbé imprisoned in the neighboring cell. The two become close friends, and the abbé teaches Dantès everything he knows. On his deathbed,  Dantès’ mentor reveals the location of a fabulous treasure hidden on the abandoned island of Monte Cristo.

Dantès escapes prison after fourteen harrowing years and discovers that the treasure is real. Not only that, the men who ruined his life have obtained wealth and success. He reinvents himself as The Count of Monte Cristo, a mysterious and fabulously wealthy aristocrat. Utilizing this and a multitude of other personas, Dantès enacts a manipulative and intricate revenge on the men who wronged him long ago.

Click the readmore for the full review!

“Dantès cannot stay in prison for ever; one day, he will come out, and on that day, woe betide the one who put him there!”

The Count of Monte Cristo is, obviously, a famous classic. It’s also one of two books I had to read for a class in high school that I actually liked. Considering 15-year-old me was a “gifted” burnout who had stopped reading for pleasure at that point, it says something that an assigned 1200-something page classic novel not only captured my interest, but kept it to the bitter end. Reading this was genuinely one of the few good things that came out of my high school experience. While I didn’t understand everything about it (least of all French pronunciation when I tried to read it out loud-- good God), the adventure, political intrigue, and revenge were all very exciting. It was shocking to actually read a book for school that was so entertaining.

But it’s been about a decade since I’ve read The Count of Monte Cristo. A lot has changed about me as a person since then-- I’m older, maybe a little wiser, and an entirely different gender than I thought I was. So, is it the same novel to me now as it was back then? Yes and no.

On a reread, I found I understood the novel more than I did as a teenager; I was able to follow the multitude of characters, subplots, and events much better. While many people discuss and praise the revenge plot, myself included, Monte Cristo doesn’t fully embrace that narrative until the last quarter or so. Most of the book instead establishes characters, relationships, and events that pay off big time when the Count finally pulls off his various schemes. It’s satisfying to see how everything comes together, especially in the last leg of the story. Each time Dantès reveals his identity is a treat, and it’s always fresh, with different philosophical implications. It’s impressive how Dumas ties so many threads into a coherent and entertaining whole. 

Revenge itself is very psychological in this book. The Count’s revenge plots are premeditated and usually immaculate in execution. He doesn’t just get revenge on the men who wronged him -- he actively fucks with, manipulates, and ruins them in the eyes of society. Even when the unexpected happens, he’s usually quick-witted enough to figure things out and still accomplish his goals. Dantès sees himself as an agent of God, reasoning that it’s the only explanation for how he went from the utter despair of eternal imprisonment to wealthy and powerful. He believes his revenge is ordained by heaven to punish the wicked-- and he likewise shows paternal compassion and care towards those he deems to be worthy. It’s only when innocents begin to suffer for his actions that Dantès questions his pursuit of revenge, and whether his utter devotion to it was divine at all or even the right thing to do. Does a life dedicated to revenge truly make one happy? Does revenge actually improve the world? These are almost universal ideas in modern revenge stories, but there’s no doubt that The Count of Monte Cristo popularized them.

The Count of Monte Cristo is also surprisingly modern for a story written in the 1840s. Many elements would be considered unusual for the time. There’s honest-to-God, non-fetishized lesbians in the story, which was something I definitely didn’t catch on my first read (you can even interpret one of them as a trans dude, which is bonkers). One of my favorite characters is Noirtier, a disabled old man whose entire body is paralyzed except for his eyes. Despite this, he communicates via different blinking patterns to enact multiple complex schemes to protect his granddaughter. He’s a total badass, and the only character that gives the Count a run for his money re: ulterior motives. There’s also some pretty risqué elements-- Dumas really liked hashish, which features quite a bit in the story. Add in the graphic violence and an actual plot-critical serial killer, and you’ve got an adventure thriller that often feels like it was written for modern audiences.

Do I recommend reading Monte Cristo? Yes, absolutely-- but there are definitely some caveats. The length is an obvious consideration. If you want to read this, be prepared for a commitment-- I read pretty fast, and it still took me over a month to get through it. While it’s long, it is entertaining (and often humorous) throughout, even to a modern reader. You also want to avoid the multitude of abridged versions, as they tend to cut out most of the interesting subtleties of the story and focus on the action sequences. The translation I read clocks in at a cozy 1276 pages, and they definitely aren’t short. While I haven’t read other translations, this one (the Penguin Classics translation by Robin Buss) seems to be considered the best English version.

While I mentioned the modern aspects of the story, and Dumas was considered liberal, The Count of Monte Cristo is still a product of its time. Dumas has some very interesting female characters, for example, but their roles are generally still true to the sociopolitical climate of the 1840s. Slavery is just a thing in the story, and while there’s some nuance there considering Dumas’ own heritage, it’s worth mentioning. The Count’s relationship with Haydée is pretty yikes, even though I like her as a character and her role in one of the revenge schemes. Generally speaking, this book also has more pop culture references than a Shrek film, and while the footnotes help, there’s still a lot that isn’t annotated and totally went over my head.

In my opinion, though, The Count of Monte Cristo is definitely one of the most captivating classic novels out there. It’s had an immense impact on modern storytelling, and I can’t understate how genuinely fun it is to read. Definitely give it a try if you’re in the market for a classic and the sheer length doesn’t scare you away.

[reylo-trash-4ever]

The Game Part 4

LOLOLOL so it’s been years and I bet everyone thinks I’ve fallen off the face of the earth but no bitch, I still live. Quarantine has given me time to write so whoo hoo!! Also, I will for sure be trying to set up an Ao3 account in the near future and that will most likely be my new main source to post this story, so look out for that!

In the mean time, please enjoy the newest installment, and sorry it’s so short. As always, shout outs go to my lovely and wonderful queen beans @scav-eng-er and @mojona1999. Y’all are the GREATEST! Happy Star Wars Day everyone and May the 4th be with you! 

The Game: Chapter 4 Rating: PG 

“What are you doing here?”

“I came to get my stolen laptop back.” Rey spoke matter-of-factly, her arms crossed over her chest and a defiant look in her eyes as she stared unblinkingly, and unwaveringly, up at Ben.

“I told you, you’d get it back tomorrow,” Ben responded, leaning on the left side of the doorway and blocking any possible entry. 

“Yeah, that’s what you wanted, but I decided on something different, so… here I am.” 

Rey started out strong, her voice fierce and determined, but she began to doubt herself and feel the weight of his amused gaze getting under her skin once again. She felt awkward standing there without moving, his tall frame towering over her in that intimidating way that she hated. 

“And what exactly did you decide?” Ben challenged, raising an eyebrow incredulously at her.

“Let me in and I’ll tell you.” Rey knew it was a long shot, but she was banking on his curiosity to take over common sense and meet her demands. Or maybe she was playing towards the pride he obviously had too much of, either way, she knew she was taking a risk. 

Ben’s amused smirk slowly fell from his lips and he didn’t try to hide the annoyed and inconvenienced look that followed. Rey held her breath, waiting for him to slam the door in her face or to yell at her for being so insubordinate, but instead, he let out the smallest of huffs and stepped aside. She took that as her cue to go in and nodded her thanks as she walked past him. 

Rey didn’t know what she expected his place to look like, but it certainly wasn’t this. She probably had some idea of a classic ‘rich boy penthouse’ apartment filled with luxuries that no one really needed, like game tables, a hot tub, racks on racks of expensive liquors, but she was wrong. A few steps down the small entryway hall led into a spacious living area with floor to ceiling, tinted glass windows that lined one side of the wall. Further to her left, Rey spotted an open kitchen with a small island in the middle. To her right was another hallway that most likely led to a master bedroom and bathroom. Another ajar door revealed what looked like a study, or some kind of office space. The decor was minimalistic, but definitely nice. Black leather sofas, a massive flat screen television, and marble countertops were just the most noticeable displays of wealth, although she could only assume there were plenty more not as easily seen. 

Truth be told, the place had a bit of charm to it. If you could call that uneasy ‘bring one spec of dirt into my home and you’ll be punished’ feeling “charm”. It was more like a picture perfect apartment, something you might see in a magazine. 

“So, are you ever going to stop ogling or are you finally going to tell me what you’re really doing here?” 

Rey turned over her shoulder and looked back at Ben, who was pushing the door closed behind him. It shut with a click and Rey felt her breath hitching in her throat again. Her plan was shaky, and being alone with a stranger in his apartment was only the beginning of how dangerous this could get. She couldn’t believe she was putting her job, and the possible promotion, at such a risk as this, but there was something about the opportunity that she couldn’t resist. 

“Well, Ben,” Rey began as she walked further into the room, pretending to keep her attention anywhere but on him and knowing that if she didn’t, he might see right through her ruse, “you obviously think I’m an idiot and incapable of keeping up with your ‘oh so wonderful’ self.” 

Rey paused to wait for his reaction, but he only raised an eyebrow and cocked his head slightly to the right in defense. She took his silence as a cue to continue. 

“Why else would you have given me your laptop after already taking mine? you could have easily just walked off with both and left me on my own, so what would you gain by giving me a key piece in learning more about you? Well, that’s when I realized that the answer was probably nothing, and I highly doubt you’re the kind of man who does anything if there isn’t something in it for him. So, then I thought that the laptop switch might be one big show to try and keep me off the trail of what you’re really planning.

“But then I came over here, and from the look of things,” Rey scanned around the room again, letting her watchful eyes linger in the direction of the bedroom and then the front door, “you were a little ‘preoccupied’ to be doing any real work at this point.” 

“So, you two met after all?” Ben asked, taking the opportunity while she was in between thoughts to make his way closer to where she now stood. He moved past her and bent down, opening a drawer and pulling out the bottle of wine he intended on having by himself. 

“We didn’t, and it’s really none of my business,” Rey said quickly, dismissing her interest and his curiosity on how she might have reacted to his personal life, “I just thought you’d be going through my laptop to get more information on me, since you went through all the trouble of taking it. Except, I can see that my bag lays untouched over on your end table, which means you haven’t even opened it. Why is that?” 

While she spoke, Ben walked to some cabinets with see through glass doors above his sink and took a long stemmed glass from them. He returned to the counter and popped the bottle, pouring himself a healthy amount of the dark liquid. Finally, when Rey finished with her question, he returned his attention back to her and gave her a smirk. 

“Because I already know everything there is to know about you, sweetheart,” Ben replied, tipping his glass towards her in a mocking salute before taking a sip. 

“I told you to stop calling me that,” Rey snapped, not missing a beat, “and there’s no way that could be true. You can’t learn every aspect about a person through just the internet and newspapers, that’s just ridiculous. Especially in our profession, genuine human interaction and connection makes all the difference in how a person will act or behave. And you, of all people, should know that as a lawyer, it’s our responsibility to find that out for ourselves. It’s why we have to have such personal relationships with our clients.”

“But I’m not your client, Rey, I’m your superior,” Ben said slowly. His voice dropped to an almost threatening level as he leaned both elbows on the counter across from her, making them finally at eye level. She stared defiantly back, refusing to be scared off. 

“Except that you’re also supposed to be my partner,” Rey said, tilting her head and giving him a sickly sweet smile, “Partners don’t have anything to hide and don’t go behind each other’s backs. They put the client first and they get what they want by working together.” 

Ben squinted at her reproachfully, and took another sip of his wine that he still refused to politely offer to his guest. 

“What are you suggesting?” 

“Total honestly. At least, while I’m here, you can ask me anything you want and I promise to answer it with the truth. But you have to do the same with me. It eliminates any reason to doubt each other or to think that one of us is working against the other. We’ll both get what we need to know, and we don’t have to go snooping around each other’s personal items to get there. It’s a win-win situation, and this way we save the most time and energy so we can get to working on the real case as soon as possible.”

Rey watched Ben listen to her, and she could tell that there were many points where he wanted to argue, but she must have kept his interest long enough, because he let her finish.  

“And how will I know you’re telling me the actual truth?” Ben questioned, standing up to his full height and looking down on her once again. 

“Because I’m a terrible liar, and you’ll see right through me if I do.” Rey shrugged her shoulders and looked away, trying to sell the ‘innocent’ look as best as she could. She really was telling the truth though, she may be as sneaky and stealthy as a Black Cat, but she wasn’t as clever as one. 

“How can you be bad at lying if you want to be a lawyer?” Ben scoffed with a smirk. 

“Because I win my cases by being right.” 

It was Rey’s turn to lean in and she looked up at Ben through her long, dark lashes. He wanted to speak, to make some retort about how ridiculously childish her and her ideals sounded, but something about those intensely dark eyes made him want to play along. He couldn't explain it, but she intrigued him. He had to give her that. 

“Fine, I’ll play your little game,” Ben said, and Rey let out a breath she didn’t know she had been holding on to, “Except, if I’m going to do something so asinine, we’re going to need to make it a little more enjoyable.” 

By the glint in his eye, Rey was hesitant to let anything be on his terms, but she knew that if her plan was to work, she’d have to keep playing into his arrogance a little. It wasn’t very hard seeing as he had a lot of it. 

“How do you suppose we do that?” Rey asked. 

“Alcohol,” Ben said simply. He turned his back to Rey and bent to retrieve another bottle from the cabinet. 

“Too bad I’m not a big wine fan,” Rey muttered, mostly to herself, but Ben must have heard because he swung back around and placed the bottle rather loudly on the counter. 

“Oh, it’s not wine,” he chuckled, “this is a particular brand of bourbon that happens to be my favorite. Care to join me for a drink?” 

Rey could hear the sarcasm in his voice, and the joke of the situation wasn’t lost on her seeing as she was already in his home and already agreeing to have the drink. She simply widened her eyes, took a deep breath, and shrugged an ‘okay’ with the shake of her head. Ben nodded once and grabbed more glasses from the kitchen. When he came back he directed them towards the living area taking a seat on the longer of the two couches. Rey sat across from him on the very edge of a large arm chair, ready to bounce up and make a break for it if she had to. 

Ben, on the other hand, leaned back comfortably. One of his impossibly long legs reached over the other, his calf resting on the opposite knee. Even sitting down, he couldn’t hide his body's sheer length. Rey noticed the bottle and glasses on the table between them and took his lounging as an indicator that she was supposed to pour the drinks. 

She fought the urge to roll her eyes. She wasn’t his maid and he was perfectly capable of getting his own, but she did as she was expected anyway. Let him think she was just another woman willing to do his bidding. Any and all “sucking up” she could fake in this moment would give her the upper hand. 

“So, what are the ‘rules’ to this game, exactly?” Ben asked, as she passed him a glass with one shot full of the slight smokey smelling liquid. He took it, his hands wrapping around hers for an instant, and Rey felt a weird spark of energy pass between them. She recoiled, but not before seeing him tense up. 

The moment was over in an instant and Ben acted like nothing had happened. He looked to the glass now in his hands and swirled the liquid, waiting for her to respond to his earlier question.

“Okay, it’s a simple drinking game mechanic, really,” Rey said, pouring herself the exact same amount, “you ask me a question, and I have to answer. If you think I’m lying, you can challenge it. If I am, I have to drink.”

“Ah, so you do lie.”

“I said if I lie, then I drink. If you’re wrong about the challenge, then you have to take the shot.” 

Ben shifted in his seat and squinted at her again in the way she was beginning to recognize as trying to figure her out. She found herself loving the idea that he didn’t know as much about her as he thought, and her chest puffed out in pride. Ben huffed a short laugh and leaned further back. 

“Well then, one for good measure?” He lifted his glass.

“And for poor judgement?” Rey teased, a smile on her own lips despite herself. 

“Exactly,” Ben said, tilting his drink slightly towards her, “cheers.”

[scripttorture]

Torture in Fiction: Avatar the Last Airbender, The Boiling Rock

Avatar, the Last Airbender was an extremely popular cartoon series centred on a group of children trying to save their world.

It’s a world where some people can control and manipulate (‘bend’) the elements, water, earth, fire and air. The element a person controls depends on their heritage; whether they come from the Water Tribes, the Earth Kingdom, the Fire Nation or from the Air Nomads. Only the Avatar can master all four elements and they are tasked with keeping the world in balance.

The story begins a hundred years after the Avatar disappeared. The Fire Nation massacred the Air Nomads. They’re raiding the Water Tribes and occupying much of the Earth Kingdom.

In this war-torn world two Water Tribe teenagers discover the Avatar, the last surviving Air Nomad, frozen in ice. He’s twelve.

With its wonderful art, powerful storytelling and compelling characters Avatar left a lasting impression on a generation of fans. It spawned comic books, a live action movie (by all accounts terrible but it’s the thought that counts) and a second set of cartoons following the next Avatar.

But I’m rating the depiction and use of torture, not the cartoon itself. I’m trying to take into account realism (regardless of fantasy or sci fi elements), presence of any apologist arguments, stereotypes and the narrative treatment of victims and torturers.

And I’m concentrating on a two part episode from season 3 that barely involves the titular Avatar at all.

It starts with two of the Avatar’s companions sneaking away to break into a Fire Nation prison.

Sokka, who is from the Water Tribe and can’t control an element, feels guilty about the fact his father and girlfriend (Suki) have both been captured. Zuko, ex-prince of the Fire Nation and a firebender, feels guilty for opposing the Avatar for so long and elects to help Sokka.

So they take a balloon to the most secure prison in the Fire Nation: the Boiling Rock. It’s housed on an island in the middle of a volcano, surrounded by a boiling lake. Their balloon crash lands and with no way off the island they decide to disguise themselves as guards. They then find that Sokka’s father isn’t in the prison and think their efforts might have been wasted until they see Suki.

They witness brutality from the guards, with a guard goading a prisoner, Chit Sang, into firebending and then locking him ‘the cooler’ a torturous cold cell. Sokka manages to contact Suki but Zuko’s identity is discovered by the other guards in the process and Zuko is taken prisoner.

In their defence, this is more or less how all their plans go.

Sokka plans to use the cooler to escape. Chit Sang overhears the plot and demands to be let ‘in’ on the plan. They need to unbolt the cooler from its moorings so they can use it to float across the lake. Zuko hides some tools and he and Sang stage a fight.

Zuko is thrown in the cooler and unbolts it from its moorings.

They meet with the cooler but Sokka has second thoughts, especially as a new group of prisoners, including Sokka’s father is due to arrive soon. Sokka, Suki and Zuko elect to stay and try to rescue Sokka’s father. Sang tries to escape with a few of his friends.

The attempt fails and the Warden has Sang tortured. The Warden claims that Sang isn’t ‘smart enough’ to have thought of using the cooler and he must have had help. Eventually Sang tells the Warden that a person disguised as a guard helped him.

The Warden has all the ‘new’ guards, including Sokka, line up to identify the traitor. Sang picks out the guard who goaded him a few days ago.

I’m giving it 9/10

The Good

Sang’s way of resisting, picking out a loyal guard as the ‘traitor’, is brilliant. And it’s realistic. I’ve recommended this strategy to writers because it’s what a lot of Algerian fighters did during the Franco-Algerian war. Seeing it in a cartoon series from a  decade before I began the blog brought a smile to my face.

The cooler is actually really similar to torturous punishments that were used in real prisons. In most places a hot cell seems to have been more common then a cold one but cramped cells kept at uncomfortable temperatures were regularly used to torture prisoners throughout the world.

Despite the existence of magic and different technologies the torture throughout this episode is all realistically low tech. We see guards threaten with fire and use it to intimidate but most of what they do seems to be beatings and torturous use of restraints.

There are suggestions throughout the story that torture and abuse are regular occurrences in the Boiling Rock. And the characters use that to cover up their actions. Sokka uses the ‘excuse’ that he wants to beat Zuko as a way to explain a guard hanging around a prisoner’s cell (and then uses a fake beating to pass Zuko details of their escape plan). Zuko uses procedure and the assumption guards should fear the prisoners as an excuse to keep his guard helmet on, covering his distinctive scar. The regular use of the cooler is what allows the group to unbolt it.

There’s no suggestion that the use of torture has made this prison safer for the guards, or made the prisoners more ‘cooperative’. If anything we see the opposite. There are regular fights. Sang can start a riot by shouting ‘RIOT’ to a crowd of prisoners. The prison is shown as dangerous and while the narrative never states this is because of torture it’s still avoiding a prominent apologist trope.

The guards, most prominently the Warden, seem to have very little information about what’s going on inside their prison. That’s consistent with the way torture effects investigation, cutting off sources of accurate information and destroying the ability to fact-check. The Warden doesn’t connect Suki to the escape attempt until she kidnaps him. Sang is only connected to it because he’s caught in the act. Zuko is only identified because he has a one in a million scar. Sokka spends days successfully masquerading as a guard and the only people who notice are prisoners.

Every incident of a guard threatening a prisoner seems to increase the prisoner’s resistance.

The torturers aren’t just positioned as ‘bad’, they’re shown as a mixture of incompetent and physically threatening which feels very true to life. The Warden is never positioned as some kind of action movie ‘badass’ or as a successful investigator. He’s a bully, pure and simple.

The Bad

I think on reflection these episodes do still underestimate the damage done by some tortures but they do this to a much smaller degree then most. The amount of time spent in the cooler is vaguely defined so it could be ‘safe’. But even short periods of time in freezing temperatures can be extremely dangerous. Sang is held upside down by guards, which can easily make victims pass out. Some of the physical effects are being glossed over here.

It’s difficult to say whether the series handles the impact on mental health well or not. Sang leaves the series shortly after these episodes and doesn’t have a speaking part again. Zuko appears to have lasting mental health problems, but they were present before and are narratively linked to his abusive family. The episode is also very close to the end of the series. There isn’t much space to look at the possible fall out of this one incident or for the characters to pause and consider what they’ve survived.

Miscellaneous

The cooler is the exception to the generally simplistic and low tech torture.  But the cooler is presented as something specifically designed to limit fire magic. It’s unusual within the world and it’s not overly complicated in use or design. In this case it’s something I’m willing to accept because it’s consistent with the rest of the Avatar world and it (arguably) isn’t designed specifically for torture.

Overall

I have a huge soft spot for Avatar. For me it was a show that struck a very good tonal balance. It goes to a lot of very dark places but it also makes space for humour, friendship and fun.

I didn’t really want to look back at it, I was worried that it wouldn’t stand up as well now.

And I was pleasantly surprised. This episode toys with a lot of unrealistic tropes and then veers off in another, better direction.

The result is a story that’s both surprisingly realistic and full of genuinely unexpected twists.

Yes there are flaws and yes there are things they gloss over that I’d rather they didn’t. But this is still a show aimed at children; I’m not sure I’d want to see realistic depictions of the physical injuries torture causes here and some of the common symptoms (suicidal ideation, self harm-) are also not things I consider suitable for 6 year olds.

And it’s just as important to consider what they do get right.

Torture doesn’t work here. Not to make Sang give up information and more broadly it doesn’t keep the prisoners ‘controlled’. We’re shown a prison where guards ‘rough up’ prisoners for fun and torture is a routine punishment. And that prison is anything but effective. There are fights every day. The guards seem to fear for their lives, both around the prisoners and (occasionally) each other. Sang can start a riot with little more then a shout.

And both of these factors, are important to the plot.

Sang’s refusal isn’t just a twist, it creates a distraction for the Warden and helps the group escape. The prison violence isn’t just a background detail; it lets Sokka create excuses to communicate with Zuko and Suki, creates distractions and gets Zuko in position for their first escape attempt.

Torture and abuse are integral to this plot. But the story isn’t about them grinding people down or ‘breaking’ them, it’s about the holes it creates in organisations and how people exploit them. It’s an interesting use of torture because in many ways it isn’t about victims or torturers. The focus is always on the escape plot.

Torture is used to show how incompetent the guards and the Warden are. It’s used to highlight the resistance of prisoners.

It’s used to create a scenario where Sokka can win. Because if the guards at the Boiling Rock didn’t torture Sokka’s plans wouldn’t work. Trust and rapport between prisoners and guards could have revealed the plot at any point. Without regular use of the cooler the first escape attempt wouldn’t have been possible. And without the background brutality of the prison as a distraction Sokka wouldn’t have been able to communicate effectively with the people he was trying to rescue.

I’ve reviewed quite a few different pieces of media at this point. Some of them handle torture well and some, not so well. But I think this is the first time I’ve seen a story that used torture more or less entirely to show the bad guys as incompetent.

Which is a really brilliant way for a program aimed at children to undermine torturers without dismissing the harm they do.

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[geopolicraticus]

Some Recent Low Budget Science Fiction Films I Enjoyed

There have been a lot of very bad big budget science fiction films in the past several years, but rather than talk about how bad these bad films were, I’d rather talk about low budget and lesser known films that I enjoyed. None of the films mentioned below are perfect; indeed, I would even hesitate to call them “excellent,” but there were enjoyable and entertaining and moreover they fulfilled what is for me the essential element of science fiction: they presented an idea that gave me something to think about. 

Time Trap (2017)

Already from the title you know this is going to be a time travel movie, and it was. In a good time travel movie you expect to be surprised by some unlikely twists and turns, and this film delivers in this respect.

One of the things I liked about this film was probably one of the cheapest but nevertheless effective special effects, and these were the creepy abandoned vehicles, revealed later to be abandoned because their owners had unexpected gone time traveling. But this is only a small detail.

Unlike a lot of other, higher budget time travel films, this time travel film really captures the weirdness and the epic scope of time travel, and people from one era meet people from vastly different eras and predictably misunderstand each other. There are awkward moments, but many of these confrontations are handled competently.

The Gateway (2018)

Gateway is a story of travel across alternative universes, some of them nearly identical to our own, close enough that we could mistake one for the other, but more often other universes with sinister differences from ours, which invite us to extrapolate the scenario to even more sinister possibilities, which are implied in the final scenes. There are a few good twists in the story, as one would hope for from intelligent story writing involving a number of closely similar universes.

Travel to other universes is made through a device only just large enough for a person to fit themselves into, which is set in a small laboratory. My guess is that these sets, while satisfactory for the viewer, were not expensive to build, and this was really the only technological element of the film. All of the rest of the story is writing and acting and direction—the bare bones of cinema, and here these are well handled. This isn’t a perfect film, but it is pretty darned good in my estimation.

The Endless (2017)

This film is as likely to be called horror as science fiction, and may even be identified as Lovecraftian cosmic horror; just because I am writing about science fiction films here I will include it as though it were science fiction, regardless of any other classes it may fall under.

The Endless is weirdly compelling in a good way. Clearly there is a problem, perhaps many problems, and there is some big, terrible secret that the audience is not being told. Like a mystery, the film gives clues as to what the big, terrible secret is, and, in the case of The Endless, the buildup is worth the wait. The big, terrible secret is truly big and terrible.

As with Gateway (above), the story has some good twists, both large and small, and even after I figured out the basic idea of the film was about, I was kept interested to the end, so the science fiction element of the film isn’t just a gimmick; once you get the gimmick, there is still much of the story that remains to be unraveled, which leads one to the horror that is wrapped in the science fiction gimmick.

Skyline (2010) and Beyond Skyline (2017)

Beyond Skyline had a budget of about 20 million, whereas most of the other films I’ve discussed here had a budget closer to a million dollars, so that is an order of magnitude more money, and it is obvious from the film that they spent the money on effects. One of the things I liked about Skyline and Beyond Skyline is that you don’t just get to see human beings kidnapped by aliens, you actually get to see inside the alien spaceship and the horrible things that happen to the unfortunate human beings who get taken up into that alien spaceship.

When I watched science fiction films when I was a child I was always disappointed that more wasn’t shown of aliens and alien spaceships, though many people feel that a film is more effective for what you don’t show, but rather only suggest. A perfect example of this was Close Encounters of the Third Kind, which (in the original version) ends as soon as Richard Dreyfus walks into the alien spaceship. Another version of Close Encounters was later released, in which they gave some teaser images of the interior of the alien spacecraft. I wanted more, and so this film was kind of like a satisfaction for my younger self, who wanted to see the otherness of the other manifested in a radically alien spaceship interior. For this reason alone I appreciated these films, though the writing and story aren’t at the level of The Gateway and The Endless, discussed above.  

S.U.M.1 (2017)

S.U.M.1 is a creepy film, made the more creepy by the fact that it came out at the same time the lead actor was on Game of Thrones as Ramsey Bolton, who was hands-down the creepiest character on Game of Thrones. So he not only fit the role, he magnified the creepiness, which in this case added to the intensity of the film.

There is a pervasive sinister feeling to this film, which I assume was intentional, which makes it verge on being a science fiction horror film, like The Endless (above). One could define a spectrum of cinema with pure science fiction at one end (with, say, the classic exemplars being films like This Island Earth or Logan’s Run) and pure horror at the other end (with the classic exemplars being a film like Dracula). Given this science fiction/horror continuum, Frankenstein is close to the horror end, but has science fiction elements; Alien and Predator are near the middle of the continuum; S.U.M.1 is near the science fiction end, but still has a number of horror elements, including the undercurrent of anxiety that keeps the film moving forward and keeps the viewer interested. 

Extinction (2018)

Extinction is built around one major twist in the story, and, once that twist is revealed, it doesn’t continue to have the same level of interest as The Gateway and The Endless, which also feature major plot twists, but it isn’t a bad film, and can be enjoyed on its merits.

I Am Mother (2019)

Several of the films mentioned here have been Netflix productions, and I Am Mother is one of those Netflix productions. Netflix seems to have more-or-less taken over the market that used to be cheap made-for-tv science fiction films. To Netflix’s credit, their science fiction films are pretty good, and much better than than their predecessors in the 70s, 80s, and 90s (back in the days of broadcast television—yes, I know I’m old). Part of the improved standards of science fiction is due to the greater affordability of good quality special effects, but part of it is also due to the maturation of genre. As science fiction becomes more mainstream, it becomes less bound by some of the familiar features of the genre, which is, in all honesty, a mixed bag. Some of these familiar features were good, and some of them were silly or stupid. Thus capturing the best of science fiction means transcending the genre conventions by retaining what is best and dispensing with the most cringe-worthy aspects.

As with all the films mentioned here, there is a twist in I Am Mother; if you’ve watched enough science fiction films you will probably try to guess how the plot twist will highlight the central idea of the story; sometimes it is obvious, and sometimes it is a genuine surprise—better yet if it is a shocking surprise that makes you jump in your seat. If we make having a plot twist in the central idea definitive of science fiction cinema (or definitive of one kind of science fiction), then we can trace this tradition back to The Cabinet of Dr. Cagliari.

As I noted above, I don’t consider any of the six films mentioned above to be great films, however, compared to the big budget flops, these films are great entertainment and far more enjoyable that the big budget science fiction films that I have seen of late. The most recent Predator film was truly terrible, a worthless film, Disney has not merely made bad Star Wars films, but has vandalized the entire mythology and so retroactively weakened the earlier films by retconning them. In this dismal context I did not even bother to see the new Terminator film, which by all accounts was as pathetically bad as the new Predator film. These films are my basis of comparison, and, with this basis of comparison, the films that I have discussed above are eminently enjoyable and well worth watching. So forget the big budget disasters at the theater and find the above films on DVD or on some streaming service. Maybe after the studios have been punished by financial loses, they will come to understand that spectacle cannot substitute for story.