#or that adoption is an obvious solution - idk if those ppl know any gay couples who are trying to adopt but i do | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

talaricula · 9 months ago

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a rly underrated thing about crazy ex girlfriend imo is that it's one of the rare shows i know of that really spends time on exploring what the process of having children is like for queer ppl/for those who go about it "non-normatively". it's not even rly a main storyline but i still find it rly well-handled and touching.

#idk i feel like in the general consciousness (deciding to) having kids as a queer person is either treated as impossible #(which is true to an extent in some jurisdictions tbf - at least if you want the legal status of parents)#or is imo way oversimplified #like yeah most ppl know ivf is A Fucking Process but many ppl still seem to underestimate iui for example #or there's an assumption that all couples with no sperm between them choose to use a sperm bank and that that process is easy #and doesn't require any reflection (which it isn't and it does)#or that if you choose to go with a known donor finding a donor is an easy process (which it also rly isn't)#or for couples where no one can get pregnant that surrogacy goes without saying (in addition to the fact that surrogacy is banned #in Many Places where other MAR techniques aren't #finding a surrogate is also orders of magnitude more difficult than finding a gamete donor)#or that adoption is an obvious solution - idk if those ppl know any gay couples who are trying to adopt but i do #they've been in the process for SIX psychologically excruciating years and it will likely be another year before they actually have a child #and that's for white college-educated materially comfortable ppl #and idk but cxg does a rly good job with the storyline - from Darryl and White Josh's disagreement about whether to have kids #to Darryl's decision to have a kid alone #to him asking Heather and Rebecca for help with that process #to the fact that Heather and Rebecca's feelings about Hebecca are v realistic and nuanced atm #not at all maternal bc that's never what they wanted or planned for (being a mother to this child) but also not indifferent #for example the 'hello nice to meet you' reprise - i legit think that's the only time i've ever seen a known donor's attitude and feelings #about the child they helped create but in no way consider 'theirs' being explored. even in thirty seconds.#or even just the fact that Darryl is a lawyer and requests help from both a gamete donor and a gestational carrier - yes!#as far as i understand in the us 'surrogacy' (one person being pregnant with their own ovule) gives the pregnant person legal parental stat #and thus requires giving up those rights and sometimes adoption after birth #while 'splitting things up' between a donor and a carrier also cuts through that 'biological' link for the purposes of legal recognition #i might be wrong in my understanding of this but if not it's cool to see it handled realistically including wrt how the legal consequences #influences decisions about which choices you make #reproduction cw #children cw #adoption cw

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