#or shit like talking to professors after lectures about shit you didnt understand

[yellowistheraddest]

anyone else also have no self esteem and are generally introverted, until you're with friends who are like that and suddenly you have the confidence of a lunatic running for president and you volunteer to do every possible social interaction

[scentofpines]

long ass text

yesterday was one of those days where i felt like the whole world really did conspire against me. when i was at the train station i heard someone call my name and it turned out to be the girl from the welcome event last week that i got along with really well but hadnt seen since and guess why?? she switched programs. to ECONOMICS :| and we were on the train together for 30 minutes and usually that wouldve killed me to do with someone i dont know well but we were really vibing and this makes me so fucking mad, i was really looking forward to having courses with her :(

then i had a seminar (the one abt women and gender history) and it sucked. the lecturer seemed nice (albeit in a bit of a manic way) but the thing is a) half of the seminar will be reading this AWFUL book about basically the history of gender history/philosophy which i tried to force myself to read a few weeks ago and gave up after 40 pages bc i didnt get ANYTHING. and she said repeatedly how well written and understandable that book is :))) and b) even though i asked her via mail before i signed up for the course what the exam will look like and she said its a written one now she came out and said we will have to do a book presentation. and, like a normal presentation would be bad enough but doable but a book presentation?? presenting a modern scientific book about a topic instead of just presenting the topic itself seems so fucking useless to me????? i think i will drop out of this course and do a lecture abt prehistoric drugs instead bc i genuinely dont have the energy for weirdly structured stupid classes anymore.

today we were SUPPOSED to have a lecture about greek archaeology and the dude who was supposed to do it just didnt fucking show up???? we waited for 50 minutes and then just left lmao. i just looooveeed taking a stinky, 3 hour long (there and back again) train ride for nothing.

but at least i got to know two girls i guess. i already chatted with one of them on whatsapp and we talked about ukrainian/russian folk music which she also likes lol and i complimented her name, which is kinda arrogant bc i have the same one lmao just spelled differently bc hers is transcribed from ukrainian. and then she complimented mine back lol. so she seemed pretty nice and the other girl too, buttttt they are...idk extremely girly girlypop perfectly styled girls and i always feel soooo weird and out of place with women like that.

oh god and at one point they both said that they were "for real on the spectrum". bro. BRO. i have literally NEVER seen more well adjusted women who had ZERO issue conversing in this full loud ass room for 50 mins straight, who also had customer service jobs that they can do with basically no issue and that were completely chill just randomly chatting with ppl they dont know well. YOU ARE NOT FUCKING AUTISTIC. YES I TAKE THIS LABEL AWAY FROM YOU. ITS NOT YOURS. MY LEFT ASS CHEEK IS MORE AUTISTIC THAN BOTH OF YOU COMBINED but i still dont go around telling ppl im on this fucking "sPeCtRuM". this term has become so meaningless. i cant imagine how absolutely awful actually autistic ppl have to feel with everyone nowadays basically appropriating their (often) life ruining disorder if i already feel like shit. i know ppl dont mean it like that but it feels so mocking.

and tomorrow i have to get up at 6:30am and drive there again and i will probably get my presentation topic for this other course. but at least i will be back home at 1pm and then i wont have to go to uni for friday and the weekend. its only week 2 and i already feel so awful. oh and btw i fucking miss my fav professor so much it hurts, i know men are evil blabla but i have insane father hunger sometimes (i think thats what its called) and my god. would i do anthing for him to be my father. and then i see my actual father and i just want to throw up and kill either him or myself. genuinely my prof has shown me more loving consideration than my father in the last 15+ years. ok now you know the depths of my pathetic soul if you read this far congrattssss and goodnight

[nightlilly0110]

Prompt: One person is a professor that overshares, the other doesn’t say anything about their personal life, no one realizes they’re together - Shigadabi

Dabi is an ethics professor while Shigaraki teaches philosophy; their courses are co-requisites, meaning they have to be taken at the same time to get a full credit.

No one realizes they’re together mostly because their students usually see them arguing, most likely about Stain and how the hell are you an ethics professor if you condone murder????

The first time they (Class 1A) walk into Dabi’s classroom they are terrified because this man has most definitely killed someone why is he allowed to be around people???

They get used to him later on, as he’s mostly insightful and only raises his voice to makes sure the back of the room can hear him, but they’re still low-key scared about how he looks.

Shigaraki, on the other hand, acts like he’s on crack most of the time. He’s a feral bastard of a man and they’re sure that even though he dresses nicely there’s no way he picked out those clothes himself and he kinda looks like someone wrestled him into them. His attitude is mostly “I don’t give a fuck but I have to be here so I’m here and I guess that means I actually have to teach well”

Plot twist: he’s actually a really well known academic in the community and has won awards and given speeches and shit. He’s really smart but he doesn’t have anything else going for him. Of course, he didn’t tell them that. They found out because quite a few of their course readings mention him by name and of course they went digging to find out he’s highly respected. He tells them nothing. They only know his last name.

The first time anyone sees the two professors together is when Shigaraki bursts into Dabi’s 8am lecture demanding coffee. Dabi keeps a small coffee machine in his classroom because he understands 8ams are terrible and it’s free for his students to use (it’s the cheap instant stuff but no one’s complaining).

Anything said at 8am is jarring but it is even more so when it’s your rat bastard of a professor kicking open a door with the force of god yelling “COFFEE!”

Dabi, of course, does not give him coffee. Tomura says he’ll fight him for it after a solid twenty minutes of arguing. He immediately leaves and no one has ever heard anything about a fight between the two of them occurring but the next day Shigaraki gleefully walks into their 8am and makes himself a cup of coffee. Dabi doesn’t even stop lecturing and doesn’t even stop to even pretend to notice him. Every day after that, Shigaraki comes in for coffee and sits in Dabi’s chair as he drinks it, (creepily) smiling broadly, while Dabi is walking around and teaching.

Dabi overshares very much so and he is very happy to do it. He loves talking about his husband Tomura and all the stupid little things he does and why he’s in love with him and everything. One time he stopped his lecture to draw attention to the bento box his husband made for him and “isn’t that sweet he cooked it all himself and he hates cooking I love him so much”

His students use that as an advantage to stop hearing about what Plato said centuries ago and just hear cute little things about their professor. Dabi can and will rant for hours about his husband if no one stops him. He will also threaten you if you try to stop him.

The reason no one thinks that Shigaraki and Dabi are married, other than the arguing, is that Dabi always describes his husband as cute and adorable and kind and Shigaraki isn’t exactly that (at least not in public). The other reason is that Dabi always calls him by last name or “Mophead” when they’re in public.

Shigaraki will die before his students wrangle any personal information out of him and he will most likely kill you if you bother to ask him.

And yet, they still ask him. Shigaraki only cocks his head to the side, gives them the widest, creepiest smile he can manage and starts cackling for an uncomfortably long period of time.

There are so many wild bets going on based on what Shigaraki does in his spare time. A few people think he’s part of the yakuza. Kaminari is convinced he’s an escaped demon from hell and that’s why he’s so creepy and why he doesn’t give a shit about anything.

Someone once asked him if he was part of the yakuza and he said “hell fucking no Kai was a fucking mental case but he’s in jail so it doesn’t matter” and said nothing else about it. They wonder who Kai is constantly.

Kaminari said he once saw Dabi and Shigaraki civilly eating lunch together and no one believed him until Dabi once knocked on Shigaraki’s door, stuck his head in the middle of lecture and asked “Lunch?” to which Shigaraki bluntly responded “No, busy” and continued his lecture without even taking a breath.

Mina is the one that suggests that they find out whoever Dabi’s husband is because the man sounds like an absolute saint and they need to see this angel of a man. Bakugou unhelpfully chimes in that “the fucker is making it all up” because he’s mad about his own feelings for a classmate (cough Kirishima cough) and is jealous towards his prof’s happy relationship.

Shouto gets switched into both classes and is in for one hell of a trip when Professor “Dabi” calls him down on his first day yelling “SHOUTO I DIDNT KNOW YOU WERE IN THIS CLASS HI!!!!” because of course Shouto sits in the back with Midoriya.

There is no class that day as Dabi rants about his fantastic baby brother while Shouto falls asleep (on Midoriya, who is blushing) so he doesn’t have to listen to his brother’s rant. That, and he’s real tired.

Shigaraki just gives Shouto a nod, grumbles something about another Todoroki (he did not sleep the night before and he’s about to fall dead) and proceeds with his lecture as usual.

“Okay listen up I’ve got a head cold and this thermos is full of NyQuil. I’m gonna drink this and start talking but the lecture ends when your heads start turning into colourful squiggles” (from that one tumblr anecdote)

Shigaraki falling flat on his face during lecture is completely normal and it’s about as normal as Aizawa with the sleeping bag and he just continues his lecture from the floor after a small “I’m okay.” He’s not drunk or tired or sick or anything sometimes he just needs a good lie down but instead of lying down like a normal person he just splats like an ungraceful volleyball player diving for the ball. Dabi once came in and just stared at him for a while before asking “you good” which prompted Shigaraki to bolt up and shriek at him to get out of his classroom. After Dabi left he plopped down on the floor again. When he does this, sometimes he’ll start giggling for no reason. It’s like hearing a haunted doll laugh at you.

Every time Dabi mentions going out with his husband he gets extremely flustered. The first time it happened, someone asked him how long he and his husband had been married (expecting him to say a few months) and he responded with five years.

When they find out the two of them are married, shit gets fucking crazy. No one believes it. They think their professors are playing a prank on them for asking too many questions about their personal lives until Shouto is just like “yeah no that’s my brother in law”

“YOU KNEW THIS WHOLE TIME AND SAID NOTHING?!?!?!”

“.....was I supposed to?”

Most of their responses to Dabi are “Him????? Really?????”

Yes really because Dabi loves his disaster husband and the next person who says anything about it will fail their final.

[latetaekreads]

“can i walk you in? just in case, you know, creepy people.” asdfasd this is the cutest shit ever oh my god :((

“went into a cooking games rabbit hole last night, i fell asleep making pizzas.” the explanation only making you giggle more. he takes this opportunity to look at you, a small smile appears on his lips as he admires your sleepy face.

okay but why can i imagine this so good? like it seems like such a jungkook thing to do,, to get super invested in something really random and then fall asleep in the middle of the night sdadf

you wake up about half an hour later, a familiar scent enveloping you and a new warmth covering your body. your eyes open to see a blue flannel draped over your shoulders, one that your partner was wearing earlier. he was now in a black long sleeve, listening attentively to the professor who went on a tangent talking about something political even though this was an anatomy class. you slowly raise your head, it catches your partners attention, “good morning sleepyhead.”

not only is this the cutest shit ever with jungkook giving oc his shirt, but also the line listening attentively to the professor who went on a tangent talking about something political even though this was an anatomy class made me laugh so much because my teachers are exactly the same!! they just go on random tangents and its like?? isnt this a computer science class?? why are we talking abt politics???

his smile feels warmer than the material draping you, a beam of light coming straight towards you, something the sun would envy.

ahhhh your writing is so beauitful :(( also, yes jungkook’s smile is just everything !! 

“it’s okay, i shared my document with you.”

ahhhh jungkook is so goddamn thoughtful asdfasd i think im about to explode,, this is all so cute !! someone please tell me how to find a jungkook,, i need one

he nods, “if you want, i can drop you off to your apartment? i uh, if you don’t want to it’s cool, i just want to make sure you get some sleep.”

did i scream reading this? yes because holy fucking shit jungkook is so stinking cute here- i cant handle it at all asfads

car brands weren’t exactly your expertise, but you could identify colors!

okay but why is this me? also, your mind!! i would have never thought to add this little detail!! i love it,, it really elevates the story!

“can i walk you in? just in case, you know, creepy people.” 

right,, creepy people,, thats the only reason why jungkook wants to walk in oc,,, 

“you sure you don’t wanna come in and nap with me?” it was a joke, but also an invitation; one that jungkook actually contemplates. the small silence shared between you both shows his willingness. in the end he decides against it, he doesn’t want to bother your nap, or that’s what he told himself. in reality it’s probably because he would fall deeper if he laid in the same bed with you. in no way did it need to be sexual, just the thought of cuddling with you made his heart race. he thought back to the way your face was smushed against your arms when you were napping during lecture, he wanted to kiss you so bad, to pepper your face in sweet, soft kisses. to watch your eyes flutter as he comforts you to sleep.

uHM- this is so cute??? i literally had to put down my phone and take a breath because i couldnt handle it sadfads lowkey expected them to kiss and im so sad they didnt :(( like a kiss to the cheek would have been more than enough, but i also understand why they didnt! after all, theyre just “classmates” right now!! 

his mind was racing, all he could do was look up to the stars in his ceiling and wish he was sleeping under the same stars as you.

holy shit,, this line is fucking brilliant all he could do was look up to the stars in his ceiling and wish he was sleeping under the same stars as you‟— yes i screamed my head off because fuck is jungkook cute :(( i just need him and oc to kiss please sfsd

sleepyhead | jjk

pairing: jeon jungkook x female reader

summary: you fall asleep during class next to the uni heart throb jeon jungkook, will you fall in love as well?

genre: fluff, college!au, established friendship! jk is a sweetie, oc has the fattest crush on jungkook but is trying to be very nonchalant about it, mutual pining, this is honestly just super fluffy.

warnings: none <3 (except for the fact that this is unedited so if u see any typos….pls ignore)

word count: a wee 1.8k!

authors’ note: hello!!!!! this is going to be the first piece of writing i put out on tumblr and i am equally both terrified and super excited. i really hope u like it!! this is one of the many drabbles i’ll be writing about college bf jungkook! college!au’s have a special place in my heart, i love love love them! so i tried to write one hahahaha. pls let me know what u think! alsooooo question: favorite class you’ve ever taken? mine was psychology!

additional note: this was inspired by this tiktok!

the events of last nights’ study session resulted in you only getting about three hours of sleep, it was a very dumb thing for you to do considering you had an eight am the next day. but you got up eventually, dragging yourself to the lecture, half asleep. you were surprised at the way you were able to get dressed and get on a bus, but nonetheless, you were here. you made your way to a seat in the back part of the room, knowing that you were probably going to fall asleep this lecture, you kept in mind that the professor doesn’t really pay much mind to the students in the back. as you were preparing your laptop for the lesson, a familiar man plops down in the seat next to you.

“good morning, __!” jungkooks’ greeting was the same every time you saw him, it was a routine almost. he’s never sat anywhere else, unless you weren’t there, then he would sit alone, wallowing in the boring atmosphere of anatomy 101 without you.

but you had no energy today, usually you would reply back, say hello and wave to him. instead, you send him a smile, hoping that he would understand that you were sleep deprived and not really up for the usual conversations you both had.

he seems to understand as he doesn’t try to continue the conversation, but instead sitting next to you and pulling his laptop out. a computer game, it looks like a cooking game, popping up on his screen next to the documents, it makes you laugh a little.

your body is slightly turned to him and your cheek is resting against your fist, “didn’t close your tabs from last night?” you ask, voice softer than you expected, you thought he wouldn’t hear you at first, but he nods.

“went into a cooking games rabbit hole last night, i fell asleep making pizzas.” the explanation only making you giggle more. he takes this opportunity to look at you, a small smile appears on his lips as he admires your sleepy face. “long night?”

your nose scrunches, “studied for my english test, woke up to paper sticking on my face.” your lips moving into a small pout.

“take a nap,” he suggests, “professor doesn’t care.”

you wave it off, “important notes to take,” pointing to your laptop and the huge projector screen.

“suit yourself,” he shrugs, his eyes moving back to his screen and continuing to play his pizza parlour game.

you tried your absolute best to stay awake and listen to the lesson, but your eyes start feel heavier and your shoulders begin to slump down as well, the professors voice turning into a monotone buzz that lulls you to sleep, then, your usually talkative partner is awfully quiet now. all of these combining give you a reason to fall asleep during lecture, there’s nothing interesting enough to keep you awake. you give up, scooting your laptop forward a little bit and then resting your head in your arms, it wasn’t long until you drifted to sleep.

you wake up about half an hour later, a familiar scent enveloping you and a new warmth covering your body. your eyes open to see a blue flannel draped over your shoulders, one that your partner was wearing earlier. he was now in a black long sleeve, listening attentively to the professor who went on a tangent talking about something political even though this was an anatomy class. you slowly raise your head, it catches your partners attention, “good morning sleepyhead.”

his smile feels warmer than the material draping you, a beam of light coming straight towards you, something the sun would envy. you’re suddenly reminded of his flannel when it starts to slip down as you sit straight, “is this yours?” your voice is quiet and woven with drowsiness despite the warmth you feel.

he nods, “didn’t want you to get cold.”

your heart skips a beat. “i-uh, thank you,” he nods again in response. you take the piece of clothing from your shoulders to return it, his eyes move from his screen to the flannel. he wasn’t moving to receive it, so instead you place it on the table, in between the both of you. he slumps a little bit, focusing back to the professor and tying away at his laptop. it makes you snap back into reality, “oh crap, how much did i miss?”

“it was kind of a lot,” he states, your eyebrows raising and your arms move to pull at your laptop. “it’s okay, i shared my document with you.”

fuck, you thought, you wished he were meaner. it would help curb your insanely embarrassing crush on him, but he just keeps proving himself to be one of the best guys you’ve ever met. funny, reliable, fucking handsome, and just a cool guy overall.

you try to hide the way your cheeks flush, “thanks, i’m sorry.”

“no worries, you deserve a nap.” he smiles again, “if you’re cold you can wear my flannel, you were shivering a little bit.”

admittedly, you were cold, the vent above both of you being unhelpful to the cause. you decide to put the flannel on, against your brains warning signals: !!WARNING: DO NOT PUT ON FLANNEL, WILL FALL IN LOVE WITH FLUFFY HAIRED SWEET GUY!!

he smiles to you again when you put it on properly, it’s big on you, the sleeves making paws and the rest of the fabric bunching at your hips as you sit. and oh god how it smells, just like him, a sweet and alluring scent, one that can keep you up for this lecture, for days probably.

“when is your english test?” his voice snaps you out of your trance.

you turn your attention to him, the professors lecture is something you zoned out of a long time ago. “it’s at noon.”

“oh that’s good! you have time to sleep and recharge after this class then!” he says, very excited despite it having nothing to do with him. you smile at the burst. “did you drive here? i’m guessing no since you were so sleepy right? probably took the bus or something?” he questions, you raise your eyebrows at how attentive he was.

“yeah, you’re right, i took the bus,” you reply.

he nods, “if you want, i can drop you off to your apartment? i uh, if you don’t want to it’s cool, i just want to make sure you get some sleep.”

oh god, you might cry. the small gesture might be mundane to others, but to you it means spending more time with him, outside of class, not studying. it’s a step forward into an uncharted territory between you both. that means your crush isn’t going away any time soon. you’re fucked.

“if you’re not busy, that would be great,” you graciously accept his offer. he gives you a thumbs up.

“this is the only class i have today,” he reassures, you send a smile to him.

the rest of the lecture passes by fairly quickly, you were able to take down the rest of the notes and catch up thanks to jungkook sharing his doc with you. when it ends you both walk together to the parking lot, he leads you to his car, an all black one. car brands weren’t exactly your expertise, but you could identify colors!

jungkook opens the passenger car door for you, embarrassingly enough, your cheeks flush again for the second time that morning. you slip into the seat and admire the cleanliness of his car, you notice more black with the leather seats, fixtures, and a cool little monitor in the dashboard. he joins you soon enough and asks, “comfortable?”

you nod, a small smile on your face. you put your seatbelt on and steal more glances around his car, this is when you notice the starry ceiling. “woah,” is all you say, jungkook laughs.

“cool, right? usually only rolls royces have them, but my friends put it in for me, you could say they pimped my ride,” he crosses his arms and tries to act cool.

you snort, “is this popular amongst the ladies?” the question slips out before you could think about it.

if the question hurt him, he doesn’t show it. he was used to your little snarky remarks, you both would often joke around with each other during lecture like this, so it wasn’t a comment he took to heart too much. “if the ladies you’re referring to are my mom, aunts, and cousins, then yeah.” but you don’t notice the way that jungkook frowns slightly, do you really think he’s a player?

“i’m sorry if that offended you,” you apologize, he shakes his head.

“don’t worry about it,” his attention was on the road, but you turned your body to face him, your apology one hundred percent genuine, and you hoped he knew that. of course he knew.

“but who wouldn’t want to see this? it’s actually really cool, jeon, i have some stars on the ceiling in my room too!” you beamed, trying to change the subject.

“really? like the glow in the dark ones?” he laughs, like really laughs.

you pout, “they’re nice when it’s dark.”

“i believe you, those are cool too,” he smiles. you hoped he doesn’t notice the way that your stare lingers. the longer your eyes lay upon him, the more you realize how truly handsome he is. his side profile is perfect, something plastic surgeons would use as a reference picture for the perfect ratio. you pry your eyes away before he can say anything.

you arrive to your apartment and you try to move fast, not trying to wallow in the awkwardness of your actions. saying a quick bye and moving to open the door, but jungkook catches you off guard, placing a hand on your shoulder. “can i walk you in? just in case, you know, creepy people.”

a nod in response is all jungkook needs to turn off the car and walk alongside you to your apartment. he walks you to your door and you make your way in, you linger around the door and so does he. he’s leaning against the wall as he stares at you, “just making sure you’re safe.”

“you sure you don’t wanna come in and nap with me?” it was a joke, but also an invitation; one that jungkook actually contemplates. the small silence shared between you both shows his willingness. in the end he decides against it, he doesn’t want to bother your nap, or that’s what he told himself. in reality it’s probably because he would fall deeper if he laid in the same bed with you. in no way did it need to be sexual, just the thought of cuddling with you made his heart race. he thought back to the way your face was smushed against your arms when you were napping during lecture, he wanted to kiss you so bad, to pepper your face in sweet, soft kisses. to watch your eyes flutter as he comforts you to sleep.

his mind was racing, all he could do was look up to the stars in his ceiling and wish he was sleeping under the same stars as you.

[freespooks]

Wash and return<3 (part 1)

Laff wasnt new to going to the club or  having a night out so when thomas and james invited him to go along with their friend alex to this new underground club he was happy to tag along…

 alex’s law school friends were celebrating finals before christmas break. They arrive at the club the music was loud and captivating the air smelling like perfume and heat “im glad you came ” alex smiled loosely holding laffs arm “I didnt wanna be the you know third wheel …” he gestures off to james and thomas who are deep in a quiet conversation most likely whispering sickly sweet nothings into eachothers ears . Jame’s arm wrapped around thomas’s  as if to say"stay away hes mine" . Thomas was one of Alex’s classmates and closests friends so ofcourse if alex went he had to go too .  Thomas was tall, thin and handsome..he had often admired his brother, they were twins but a rare sort a set of fraternal twins. Laff just laughed “you’re not jealous are you mon ami~?” alex blushed “NO! of course not” he crossed his arms to his chest it was no secret that Alex did indeed used to have a crush on thomas to which he would say was “ages ago” “A-anyway hes with james  remember” laff smiled “you know im not into this stuff Gil” laff let out a small laugh “you mean loud noise and the sea of drunk people” alex couldnt help but laugh as they walked to the bar. By this time  James and Thomas were no where to be found lost in the faces. They sat and ordered a round. Several drinks later laff notices a pair of peircing eyes in the crowd. His eyes were deep and intelligent. The guy wore a fitted grey suit and a lavander tie .Laff grips alex’s arm quickly “Who is that?” he motions torwad the tall dark stranger who also spotted him from across the room. Alex turned and couldnt believe who he saw. “oh thats..Aaron Burr” he rolled his eyes “some prick in my lecture hall” By now Aaron had noticed laff and was walking over “Oh shit… hes coming over here” Alex sighed facing his drink “Alexander!” Aaron exclaims walking up to join them “hey Burr..” Alex casually sipped his drink “Is this what youre doing instead of working on your studies” he laughed “Oh fuck off Aaron..” Alex groaned Aaron took a seat and ordered a drink “i have to admit though what you proposed in lecture today was brilliant that is after the professor had to shout to wake you” Laff couldnt help but laugh. Aaron turned to him “oh im sorry I didnt introduce myself Im Aaron Burr” he held his hand out “and you are?” “Im Gilbert” He blushed as the man kissed the top of his hand “I couldnt help but notice you watching me” he smirked. Laffs heart started to pound and Aaron continued to flirt with Laff buying him another drink. Alex sank lower into his stool just stirring his drink as the two conversed infrench. He sighed ..Where the hell were James and thomas.. The two had found an empty storage space to escape the crowd and loud music. “Are you sure you wouldnt rather be out there with your friends” James asked holding thomas’s hand. Thomas holds his hand to his face “No id rather be here with you..”. He leans in and kisses James softly. James Pulls Thomas closer and kisses deeper his face flushed.. Back at the bar Alex was on his 4th shot He had invited Laff along so he wouldnt feel so alone but of course.. Aaron had to be here.. Some part of him was hoping he had a sliver of a chance with laff tonight..he felt sick for thinking that way and he hated himself for it but he had always been close with the twins  and..well with thomas taken maybe laff couldve been a close second..but what the fuck he couldnt think that way..though he had thought of laff in a romantic way before it was only after thomas met james.. He returned to the conversation. “So I know you speak french” he raised a brow “ what else should I know about you” he smirked not wanting to break eyecontact “Wouldnt you like to know” laff retorted payfully . Alex rolled his eyes so hard they felt like they were about to roll out of his skull.. all this flirting was making him ill..or was that the alchohol..he felt his stomach heave..yep definently the alchohol he rushed to the restroom. “ah..poor alex i should go check on him..” laff stood when burr took his hand “im sure hes fine” his smile was charming and intoxicating. Alex emerges from the restroom to find james and thomas coming in from a back hall way. “WHERE HAVE YOU TWO BEEN?” his voices startled the two of them theyre faces flush clothes a bit disheveled.. “what the fuck guys really…?” they both looked away from him. “youre off getting freaky while Aaron butt it being all romeo on Gil” he points over to the now empty stools “shit..where did they?” “Alex would you please be a little louder i dont think everyone in the club heard you” thomas groaned covering his face with his hand. “and what about laff hes grown he can make his own choices Alex..” “Do you know the guy?” James cut in “what was his name?” “Aaron burr and yeah i know him…Hes a major prick who’s always trying to discredit me infront of the class..” He sighed “ Last i saw he was making moves on gil” … The two had slipped into the bathroom.A small dark room witha single door that thankfully locked the air was hot as the two nearly filled the whole space . Burr  pressed his lips hard againsts laffs lifting him up and setting him on the counter his hand on laffs thigh. laff pulled burr in closer kissing his neck his legs wrapped around burrs waist as burr unbuttoned a few of the top buttons the mans shirt kissing gently down his neck then biting softly. Laff let out a soft moan and burr continued to kiss down his neck undoing more of the buttons . Eventually he reached one low enough to reveal a beige binder. Burr looked confused he stopped for a moment . Laff looked down at his face the confusion this was it the look he always got.. “uhm Aaron?” he said quietly waiting for the words to come. Hed heard it all “You tricked me !” “youre not a guy ??”. But it never came burr looked up at him with the softest smile and kissed him .His heart felt like it was going to explode .Burr looked back down at the binder “may I?” he looked up. Laff nodded as burr undid the rest of the buttons and helped laff remove the binder…. Alex paced back and forth dizzy from the alchohol and heat… “where the fuck is he..?” “Alex you need to calm down laff can do what he wants” thomas was dismissive “you dont understand thomas this it Aaron were talking about…” Aaron was known for being a bit of a player. “hes bad news thomas and you know it!” “you only dont like him because he proves you wrong all the time you really need to get over this Alex…”. Alex’s head was spinning thomas was right…but fuck all if he was gonna admit it.

[wern]

can’t do a read more cause im on my phone but uhhh

tw discussion of family, sexual abuse, racism/fetishization, ummm i think that’s mostly it . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

i dont have the energy to go into a long rant ((EDIT: well..... this clearly turned out longer than expected)) cause i had three different heart-to-hearts tonight but. turns out my step dad (the one who sexually abused me? yes the very same one) has watched every single lecture that jordan peterson, the far right anti-sjw psychology professor at university of toronto, has posted online. he wanted to talk to me about them, and asked what it was like to be in one of his lectures. i want to fucking die

the other heart to heart was with my step-sisters (my biological dad’s step-kids) about all the narcissistic and offensive shit my biological dad does. i told them that he doesnt talk about himself nonstop because he actually loves himself, but because he hates himself. in fact he doesnt love anybody. which is unfortunate for both me and their mother. it’s also why he verbally and emotionally abused me, and cheated on all his other girlfriends. me and my stepsisters also talked about how their mom is way more meek when he’s around and i was like yeah well i bet he encourages it because it fits his asian house wife fantasy… like you should see the fucked up porn in his browsing history… this convo lasted about 4 hours and we were all just sitting on the kitchen floor

and finally i had a 2 hour conversation in the car with my mom where we cried bc she said she regretted getting together with my stepdad cause she didnt realize he would be bad for me. she did it originally bc she wanted me to have a bigger family than just her after she divorced my dad, in case she died and i would be alone. ive decided to try to reconcile with my stepdad in the spirit of this. i just have to like. figure out how to ignore that he thinks sjws are a plague on humanity. and that he talks about nothing else. and that his daughter is starting to say homophobic shit. i love my little sister but like. anyway

tomorrow i plan to have lunch with my dad and subtly bring up the issues raised by my stepsisters. they’re worried about their mom and they want him to stop imitating asian accents. i have literally told him over two dozen times to stop, in every way imaginable, but he continues. he thinks im being a sensitive sjw because he doesn’t believe me when i say that they’ve asked me to keep telling him. i dont know how else i can get it across to him???? he actually thinks he’s so progressive though, and i think that’s the problem. also my sisters’ boyfriends hate him but there isn’t much i can do about that now. and he’s always embarrassing himself at the filipino community gatherings because he like… thinks he’s one of them? hes oblivious, and is constantly an intruder.

also my step sisters literally clean up after his every mess like he’s an infant. they pick up his garbage as soon as he gets up and he gets angry at them for cleaning his shit off the table. he called home yesterday and made them print off hundreds of little stickers for his election while he was away at work cause he printed off the wrong ones. like these girls aren’t your servants!! and then he asked to borrow their mom’s car, and when they asked if he would drive them to work on his way to his campaign, he complained to me in the angriest, pissiest of voices that everyone was making demands on him. like………. i want him to just fucking……….

anyway this all sounds like a bad night but ive gotten even closer with my sisters (we decided even if our parents break up we’re gonna stay friends) and sorted some stuff out with my mom, who is the most important person in the world to me. i mean im extra pissed tonight that she got together with my step dad after he sexually abused me but what can you do.

this probably sounds really robotic and weird i just? lots of stuff has happened tonight and i needed to get it out.

likes are always really appreciated if you read the whole thing!! ❤❤ i hope u have a good day and talk to people u love

oh ps. i also found out that the like twelve times i had a conversation with my dad this year while i was away at school, was actually my step sister and stepmom suggesting he contact me. he loves bragging about the fact that i go to university of toronto but he doesn’t want to talk to me. nbd in the grand scheme of things bc i don’t care if he calls me cause the only thing he talks about is himself but yeah. and also he lied to them that my mom cheated on him when actually he cheated on her (why would your new gf’s kids need to know this in the first place??). and he told them the reason i admire and still talk to his ex-gf was that she was so successful and i didnt have a successful female role model to look up to (apparently my mom doesnt count, and i can’t admire my other mother figures for their own fucking merits).

my dad also said my mom “probably cries just to hear the kind of world i get to live in��� if she understands at all.” like uh considering she’s the parent i talk to daily? i think she gets it? and i was like “why would she cry?” and he was like “you’re living the life she wishes she could lead”…… like actually no im living the life YOU wish you could lead. she always just wanted a big happy family and you fucking ruined that for her haha. but NICE PROJECTING THERE BUDDY. not to mention the condescension. anyway that last bit happened like a month ago but im still mad lol