#or rather. CLEVER dumbass noodle

[pteryx-pets]

….HELLO pierogies, how are you out of your tank

(a bolt on one of the doors was loose so there was a gap, it was only like an inch and I thought that was too small for her to squeeze through bc I’ve seen her give up on inch-wide gaps before, but clearly we were both wrong and she CAN get through if she takes her time with it)(it is fixed now)

[howtotrainyouragents]

For the headcanons ask: Alya Cesaire, Mako from LoK, Mack from AoS, and then any character that you really want to answer for but haven't been asked, if you please! :)

Yayy, thanks for asking!! Here’s the original ask game if anyone’s curious. Haha, this got SOO long, but I had a lot of time to kill soo:

Alya Cesaire, my sweet child who might be the only one in the bunch with a brain cell: 

Headcanon A:  realistic:

Absolutely does the dumbest things for the scoop. Nora has every right to be worried because her lil sis is a dumbass,

Her website is so freaking legit (She gets interviewed by legit news sites, like come on!) She has bios, dates, damages, and ongoing information about akuma attacks. She’s building up profiles on Ladybug, Chat Noir, Hawkmoth, and the other superheroes. People are shocked to learn there’s not a whole team behind it but just one very dedicated teenager. She’s going for the Pulitzer Prize.

Headcanon B: while it may not be realistic it is hilarious

So she’s a comic book fan right. She’s as nerdy as they come. She cosplays  (thank goodness for a genius designer friend) and goes to all the cons (thank goodness for a rich friend). She buys all the limited editions. She does fundraisers for kids. And anyone who is a jerk or gives her a hard time for being a girl/kid is gonna get  punched in the face (Thank goodness for a boyfriends who restrain her and then, upon failing, covers for her ass so that she doesn’t get kicked out or grounded).

She loves movies, she loves running outside and exercising, she loves pastries, she loves doing her nails and posting fun videos!

Headcanon C: heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends

She misses Martinique so much. She loves Paris and her friends there but it’s just not the same. The warm weather, the friendliness, the dialect,  her extended family. They moved because of Nora and her dad and mom’s jobs, but ugh whenever she Skypes back home, it hurts so much.

Headcanon D: unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own.

She and Trixx have a complicated relationship because she’s all about the truth and Trixx is all about the illusions. It takes her a while to get it right and a while to see how clever Trixx is with their words and manipulation. She wanted to ask Ladybug for another miraculous, but learned that she was able to see things in shades of gray rather than black and white because of Trixx and that makes her a smarter journalist

Mako (MAKO, MY BABY!!!) 

Headcanon A:  realistic: 

He’s a little nerd. He always wanted an education and could never get it growing up. So he’s patient, he reads, he studies, he’s a fast learner. Lin Beifong is very proud of him; Tenzin wishes he could switch him and Korra out sometimes.

He’s always going to be the dad friend, always looking out for everyone’s wellbeing  (no matter how bad he is at it), always providing and taking care of the others. He carries photos of his friends(+ferret) in his wallet and shows them to everyone whether they asked or not. He’s uptight and falls alseep in movies and makes bad jokes. He’s an Ultimate Dad

Headcanon B: while it may not be realistic it is hilarious

Now that’s he’s a cop, he loves to treat his friends. Getting them into the secure events, joyriding, treating them to dinner.

He and Asami love to race each other. He’s usually super uptight and worried, but when he’s relaxed, he and Asami have so much fun testing out new Satomobiles. Bolin always referees. Korra used to race too but she’s been banned because she uses her Avatar powers to win. So she just gets to joyride when the others are taking a break.

Headcanon C: heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends

It took him a long time to get used to his firebending. He had started training with his mother but after their murders he became too terrified to firebend. It was only when he learned that he could be a probender that he began to learn his powers for real

Learning lightning was the hardest and scariest thing he’s ever had to do. He had to have so much peace and patience, and he just wasn’t there yet. Their probender mentor taught him the skills but he was still so full of rage and grief. It was only on one afternoon hanging out with Bolin and Pabu that he realized there was still  hope and happiness to look forward to. His parents wouldn’t want him to be stuck like this. Fire was ambition. And his ambition was fueled by his love for his brother. He would do anything for Bolin. He took Bolin outside and for the first time he bent lightning. Bolin and Pabu smothered him in hugs and they got his favorite noodles that night.

Headcanon D: unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own.

Make FireFerrets still a thing. I can’t believe we only got one season of the awesomeness that is probending (and all the complicated implications). I wanted Fire Ferrets to last at least for a few more tournaments and have them winning and them being able to use the money to set the brothers up comfortably and for Korra to be able to live a little more independently.

Mack (who literally deserves the world and I will fight you on this) 

Headcanon A:  realistic:

Learned his love of mechanics from his father. He continues to work as a mechanic on the side even as director, as relaxation and to remind him of his family

He also is the only one who is actively learning the traditional SHIELD training protocol for becoming a spy, i.e. learning languages and such. He’s slow at the languages (#Turtleman) but he’s much farther along than anyone else.

Headcanon B: while it may not be realistic it is hilarious

Hosts massive video game tournaments online and is a legend in the gaming community. Also, and absolutely is a gentlemen online. Harassment? Pedophilia? Foul or sexual talk? Mack is coming after you and he will destroy you. Only good people allowed. Newcomers and minority groups worship him for this because he makes everyone feel safe and included 

Headcanon C: heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends

He wishes he really did quit SHIELD and went back to just being a mechanic. Everyone likes to tease him about wanting to quit, but he is genuinely so heartbroken over seeing so many friends die or disappear. He has nightmares about the day SHIELD fell. He stayed because he was capable of doing something to help and it was the right thing to do. But selfishly, he wants peace in his life. He wants happiness and normalcy. He doesn’t want nightmares of losing his friends, his love, his daughter

Headcanon D: unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own.

He meets up with Bobbi and Hunter all the time. Facetimes them. Plays betting pools with them. Gets drunk. They’re friends for life and F anyone who gets in the way. Honestly he gets a hoot out of their shenanigans and they need him to keep them sane. Also they love Yoyo; half the time they call Mack its because they want to talk to her.

Simmons! Wow, apparently I had a lot headcanons for her. What a good murder child :)

Headcanon A:  realistic:

She doesn’t have a freaking MD, so she’s taken accelerated courses in her spare time in order to be able to pull off surgeries and cleanings and whatnot

She’s the leading expert in Inhuman biology. She’s constantly being consulted but also will sometimes make up crap to get the government  off of SHIELD’s back

Headcanon B: while it may not be realistic it is hilarious

After Daisy, she’s easily the most dangerous of the group. Not because she can fight (because she’s only moderate at fighting), but because she has no mercy. She will leave you for dead on the operating table. She will fire your ass. She will throw a bomb at you and syringe you full of poison. She might even shoot you, and she will sacrifice herself when necessary. Simmons believes she knows what’s right and wrong and she’s learned to take matters into her own hands, everything else be damned.  

She and Fitz finally get their cozy apartment with the breakfast nook. Everyone visits for brunch on the weekends (Daisy visits for breakfast everyday) and Fitz cooks while she studies because she’s a morning person and it’s a get-up-at-6-workout-study-breakfast routine. She has a study just for herself that’s just full of biochemistry and Inhuman biology stuff. It’s a cutesy English-Scottish apartment (she and Fitz had many rows about how to decorate, more Scottish or more English, and they finally decided on half and half). 

She plans all the movie nights and bakes cookies and family dinner. She has weekly late night talks with Daisy, sitting under the covers of Daisy’s bed. She has frequent date nights with Fitz which ends with lovingly bickering while one’s brushing teeth and the other’s showering for bed. She loves to ramble on about her science to anyone who will listen and Mack loves to listen the most because he just doesn’t like to talk much and it turns out they love the same punk rock music so they just hang out and she gets to talk. 

Coulson and May have definitely become her adoptive parents because her family doesn’t know half of the stuff that has happened to her (she could tell them but she doesn’t want them to worry about her.) Coulson gives great hugs and tells her take a break. May gives her a drink and lets her vent. And when Elena and Deke join, she’s does the same for them and passes on the love she received. 

Headcanon C: heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends

Even before she joined Coulson’s team, her family was disappointed in her. Ever since the Academy, they had no idea what she does or what she’s done since. She loves her parents and siblings but she feels so damn distant. She’s like a ghost who only comes for Christmas. Just one of her brothers knows what’s really going on with her and when he first found out, he didn’t speak to her for months.

She’s just been through so much that she’s terrifed of being alone. Going undercover, being stranded on an alien planet, being a servant, losing Fitz (she really needs therapy omg), that she’s just scared to be a alone. She’s English, so she doesn’t usually do visible signs of affection. But after everything she’s been through, she stands a little closer to people, she holds onto whosever arm is nearest, she plays with hair and cuddles and reaches for anyone’s hand just to know her SHIELD family, her true family, is still around. And when they’re not: She still carries around a shiv.

Headcanon D: unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own.

How about she gets therapy? How about she calls out Fitz for some of his crap because they both know that its healthy to be honest with each other? How about she gets her own storylines where she continues to do science and learn inhuman biology and help others because that’s who she is and that doesn’t make her weak or uninteresting *microphone drop*