#or rather not

[stromuprisahat]

“I’ve just upset the entire history of the future,” said Mort. “Yes?” “You see, when he tried to kill her I killed him, but the thing is, according to the history she should have died and the duke would be king, but the worst bit, the worst bit is that although he’s absolutely rotten to the core he’d unite the cities and eventually they’ll be a federation and the books say there’ll be a hundred years of peace and plenty. I mean, you’d think there’d be a reign of terror or something, but apparently history needs this kind of person sometimes and the princess would just be another monarch. I mean, not bad, quite good really, but just not right and now it’s not going to happen and history is flapping around loose and it’s all my fault.”

Mort (Terry Pratchett)

This is what it looks like, when fictional history's written by a person, who knows a thing or two about the real one, and doesn't care to preach about morality instead.

[acrossthewavesoftime]

Sometime at work, my boss handed me an envelope, which I proceeded to open while walking to my office. Dissatisfied with essentially ripping it all unevenly using my hands, I decided I should do the reasonable thing and grab something shaped much more akin to a letter-opener than my index finger.

Passing through a colleague's workspace, I, not thinking much (or at all, indeed), spotted an antique rapier on a rack, took it, and sliced the envelope open in one perfect cut.

Pleased with the result, I put the rapier back and was just about to exit the room when all of a sudden, I heard the bemused voice of my colleague: "I have scissors, too, you know."

It honestly had not crossed my mind to simply ask my colleague to borrow their scissors. That long, historic stabby stick with the sharp edges was perfectly suited to the task, after all. I feel obligated, however, to remind any of you Gentle Readers not to try this at home, please.

[julianvellichor]

Being an nonbinary person bothers me alot. Don’t get me wrong. I love the community i have around me, all of my friends and my partner are supportive and i know that makes me very very lucky. But… I drown, in gender dysphoria of being seen by society.

I want to wear maxi dresses, i love dramatic makeup, i feel pretty with heart shaped jewlery. I adore flower crowns and i listenig to angry women sing about killing.

Thoes things make me happy.

But the world will associete them with gender i don’t identify with. And i want to be strong enough, for that to not affect me, but im not.

I want to be feminine like man can be, and i want to be masculine like a woman. But wanting it at the same time doesn’t work.

Being precived is a new circle in hell. I just want not to care. I just think that no metter how i dress and present myself it will always be fake.

[thedungeonbat]

„It’s quiet and then you just drop the best statement of the entire lesson out of nowhere.“

The perks of being an english student.

[sarayu-sunrays]

thought: occurrs

me: oh no not this stupid extra feature again

[chicgeekgirl89]

(Not) WIP Wednesday

Thank you @lemonlyman-dotcom, @carlos-in-glasses, @bonheur-cafe, @thisbuildinghasfeelings and @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut for the WIP Wednesday tags. I have opened multiple WIP's and stared at them and I just...cannot find words lately. Loved seeing what you're all working on and hope to have things to share in the future!

[daftpatience]

slow down for your disabled friends. thats like a bare minimum kindness that we shouldnt have to ask for. i love that youre so quirky and walking fast is a cool personality trait to you and all that but i bet you can count your physically disabled friends on less than one hand

[inbabylontheywept]

so once me and my wife were watching a documentary where a snake ate like a million eggs. that snake just went to fucking town on eggs. and the snake made the eggs look so good that i kept thinking about it, and thinking about it, and thinking about it, and eventually it was 11pm and i ran out of willpower and decided to eat one (1) singular raw egg just to prove to myself that the snake was surely a liar.

the snake was not a liar. texture is like, super important to me and raw eggs are very Texture so i had another one, and then another one, and then another one, and eventually i ran out of eggs.

i had like, fifteen raw eggs.

i didnt really know how to explain this momentary madness to my wife, so my Plan was to put all the eggshells into a grocey bag, and then throw that grocery bag in the dumpster, and if she never noticed that would be Excellent and if she noticed immediately i could lie and say that the eggs went bad.

except i cant lie very good, and of course with murphys law being such, i got salmonella.

so i threw up a lot and my wife asked me what poisoned me so and i tried very hard to dodge the question but i was oozing shame like oil from a room temperature cheese and eventaully i gave in and told her everything and to her enormous credit she was more flabbergasted than actually upset. she did make me promise to not eat any more raw eggs, which i have stuck to, and she gives me weird looks during nature documentaries now as if desire was the only thing keeping me from eating thousands of pounds of krill anyway i made a joke earlier about being able to eat my age in eggs and my sister in law in law made a drawing to comemorate the moment and also because it was my birthday. she's excellent. thank you 10000000% @cintailed. you should all visit her page and admire her work.

[3liza]

https://nationalpost.com/news/canada/theyre-not-human-how-19th-century-inuit-coped-with-a-real-life-invasion-of-the-walking-dead

Indigenous groups across the Americas had all encountered Europeans differently. But where other coastal groups such as the Haida or the Mi’kmaq had met white men who were well-fed and well-dressed, the Inuit frequently encountered their future colonizers as small parties on the edge of death.

“I’m sure it terrified people,” said Eber, 91, speaking to the National Post by phone from her Toronto home.

And it’s why, as many as six generations after the events of the Franklin Expedition, Eber was meeting Inuit still raised on stories of the two giant ships that came to the Arctic and discharged columns of death onto the ice.

Inuit nomads had come across streams of men that “didn’t seem to be right.” Maddened by scurvy, botulism or desperation, they were raving in a language the Inuit couldn’t understand. In one case, hunters came across two Franklin Expedition survivors who had been sleeping for days in the hollowed-out corpses of seals.

“They were unrecognizable they were so dirty,” Lena Kingmiatook, a resident of Taloyoak, told Eber.

Mark Tootiak, a stepson of Nicholas Qayutinuaq, related a story to Eber of a group of Inuit who had an early encounter with a small and “hairy” group of Franklin Expedition men evacuating south.

“Later … these Inuit heard that people had seen more white people, a lot more white people, dying,” he said. “They were seen carrying human meat.”

Even Eber’s translator, the late Tommy Anguttitauruq, recounted a goose hunting trip in which he had stumbled upon a Franklin Expedition skeleton still carrying a clay pipe.

By 1850, coves and beaches around King William Island were littered with the disturbing remnants of their advance: Scraps of clothing and camps still littered with their dead occupants. Decades later, researchers would confirm the Inuit accounts of cannibalism when they found bleached human bones with their flesh hacked clean.

“I’ve never in all my life seen any kind of spirit — I’ve heard the sounds they make, but I’ve never seen them with my own eyes,” said the old man who had gone out to investigate the Franklin survivors who had straggled into his camp that day on King William Island.

The figures’ skin was cold but it was not “cold as a fish,” concluded the man. Therefore, he reasoned, they were probably alive.

“They were beings but not Inuit,” he said, according to the account by shaman Nicholas Qayutinuaq.

The figures were too weak to be dangerous, so Inuit women tried to comfort the strangers by inviting them into their igloo.

But close contact only increased their alienness: The men were timid, untalkative and — despite their obvious starvation — they refused to eat.

The men spit out pieces of cooked seal offered to them. They rejected offers of soup. They grabbed jealous hold of their belongings when the Inuit offered to trade.

When the Inuit men returned to the camp from their hunt, they constructed an igloo for the strangers, built them a fire and even outfitted the shelter with three whole seals.

Then, after the white men had gone to sleep, the Inuit quickly packed up their belongings and fled by moonlight.

Whether the pale-skinned visitors were qallunaat or “Indians” — the group determined that staying too long around these “strange people” with iron knives could get them all killed.

“That night they got all their belongings together and took off towards the southwest,” Qayutinuaq told Dorothy Eber.

But the true horror of the encounter wouldn’t be revealed until several months later.

The Inuit had left in such a hurry that they had abandoned several belongings. When a small party went back to the camp to retrieve them, they found an igloo filled with corpses.

The seals were untouched. Instead, the men had eaten each other.

[tawnysoup]

Finally now that the comic is fully public on comicfury, I get to share it with all of you here, too <3

If you enjoyed, please consider supporting by buying a PDF of the comic on itch.io: https://tawnysoup.itch.io/home-in-the-woods

[kochei0]

I turn to Ares.

Thanks to Tyler Miles Lockett who allowed me to draw inspiration from his ARES piece for page 2! Look at his etsy page it's SICK

⚔️ If you want to read some queer retelling of arturian legends have a look at my webtoon

[necromimetics]

can’t stop thinking about my friend’s cishet partner who said last night that he doesn’t think anyone is the same gender. god-tier take.

[un-pearable]

dear universe give me ten billion dollars and infinite free time and indestructible hands so i can do every hobby ever

say hi to knuckles everyone

[beadyeyes]

That one tweet that says something like "guys need to start treating their girls better because faggots bi asf these days"

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

License to Kitty.