#or put regular milk instead of what was asked for

[thatscrazyrandom]

Whenever I see people make even a passing comment about changing someone's order when making it I start frothing at the mouth.

[eccentricwritingbaby]

baby finn series, sneaking onto stream

series masterlist

lando norris x mom!wife!reader

summary - little baby norris misses his dad and goes on a mission to find him, when found - it can only result in cuddles

masterlist

-

it was a quarter past six at night in the norris household, and having just finished eating, the young family parted for their different nightly duties. lando bringing finn to his bath as you began to clean up the kitchen after dinner. succeeding a few moments of your comfortable silence - which isn’t ever silence in your house, it’s the distant baby giggles and splashes in the tub and the quiet coo’s coming from your husband - you ready the house for nighttime. setting out finn’s playmat with a few toys near the sofa and dimming the lights around the home, you feel at peace. just then you hear the light laughs and footsteps as your husband comes down the hall, with a fresh and clean baby, as you're starting to put away the clean dishes.

“there’s momma! i told you she was waiting for you, bubs,” lando softly speaks to your son in his arms. 

“was someone missing me?” you turn from putting away the dinner plates in the cupboard to face your two favorite boys. 

“mommaaa” finn begins to make grabby hands in your direction as he whines, causing you to stroll over and grab him from your husband’s arms.

“been askin’ about you since the shampoo portion of the bath,” lando chuckles a bit as his left hand finds your waist to pull his little family closer to him.

“you missed me, baby?” you ask again to your son as he cuddles into your arms.

“wan’ boaf of you, momma and dada for bath time,” finn answers quietly, sleep gracing his voice in the way both you and lando cherish.

“you wanted both of us buddy? next time we’ll both be there, okay?” your husband assures your son with a ruffle of his hair. he lets out a soft ‘otay’ back to the two of you and you both are just enamored by his cuteness. lando’s hand then drops from your waist and instead moves to your head, bringing it closer for him to plant a kiss on top. 

“i’m heading to stream with the boys, love. just come on in if you need anything,” your husband then dips down to plant the same kiss on his son’s head as he jokingly waves a finger in front of his face, “no trouble for momma when i’m gone, mister. no parties, no girls, no staying up and drinking too much milk,” your son just laughs at his father’s antics as they are a regular occurrence and you can’t help but join in on the amusement with your own giggles. one more kiss to your forehead and lando is heading down to his streaming room in order to get started and you make your way over to the sofa.

setting finn down on his playmat, he begins to crawl and walk around, playing with his toy cars and other sets, leaving you to finish your business in the kitchen. you had a burst of energy that night to give a thorough cleaning to your home, and it seemed like your son had that same energy as well. you were able to see the playmat from your spot in the kitchen, but didn’t have too much concern for your son’s actions due to the babyproofing lando had set up when finn began crawling and walking. 

“momma” finn calls over to you from the living room, holding his papaya car in one hand and ferrari car in the other. 

“yes, love?” you call back, peering over the kitchen island to get a look at your baby. 

“where dada?” 

“he’s in his office, baby. he’s streaming, remember?” you gently remind him, hoping he was tired enough to not have a tantrum, but not too tired where he would also have a tantrum. the joys of a toddler.

“wanna play cars with dada,” he whines a bit and you sigh, struggling to quickly figure out a response.

“what if he plays cars with you tomorrow? i’m sure he would love that and then you would have sooo much time, too!” you try to steer him into the excitement of your idea, “because you’ll have to go to bed soon, so you won’t have much time tonight,”

“boaf?” your son lets out in adorable curiousness with his question.

“not both, love. and not tonight, i’m sorry,” you gently push again, “do you want a bit of bluey before bed? you didn’t get any tv time today?” with that offer your son is vigorously nodding his head yes, leading you into a laugh as you walk over to turn it on. ‘so spoiled’ you hush out with a laugh under your breath, heading back into the kitchen to pick up where you left off. 

-

lando had been on the stream with george, alex, and charles for about half an hour. he knew that soon you would leave a gentle knock on the door, alerting him of finn’s bedtime. he would quietly pause the game, head out of the room, tuck in your son with you, say the goodnights, and then head back to his game. however, the knock he heard this time was a little different than yours, and the sound came from a lower area on the door. which only meant one thing. 

as lando pulled the door open, his son tumbled a bit from leaning against it and your husband’s father instincts cut in as he caught him, swinging his body up to his hold, “what’re ya doing, buddy?”

“miss’ you, dada,” finn quietly speaks to his father, nuzzling deep into his neck in order to achieve peak comfort. 

“aw, bubs, dada missed you too,” lando sighs while rubbing his back. even though you both didn’t want to subject finn to the public, he made appearances here and there. and with lando’s mic having been left on, he couldn’t really hide the fact that his sleepy son was in the room. the comment finn made also tugged on lando’s heartstrings, which led to his decision to climb back into his chair with the sleepy boy on his lap. lando traveling constantly for work and you not being able to follow him every time, leads him to cherish his moments he can achieve with finn. therefore, aiding in his decision to not seek you out, and instead have his son join him. 

as lando takes a seat, he announces into his mic that a ‘special guest appearance’ will be happening, and finn appears on the screen, cuddled into lando’s lap. the comments on the stream begin to go by in a frenzy, lando only picking up a few ‘awwww’ and ‘baby finn!!’ comments along the way. the boys on the stream all notice and begin to say hello as finn picks his head up to glance at his father.

“they’re all saying hi, bub. do you wanna say hi back?” lando asks gently to his quiet son.

“who dada?” his innocence shining through his wide eyes and parted lips as he stares in awe of your husband.

“well, you remember charles and alex and george, right?” lando begins, attempting to coax finn’s memory to his paddock friends, “charles drives with uncle los?” lando pushes a bit further.

“uncle los is here!” finn perks up at his favorite uncle’s name, and the boys on the stream all groan, earning a chuckle out of lando. 

“bubs, you remember them, here, look,” lando points up to the screen as his son follows his finger to see all the boys smiling and waving. finn - loving the attention, just like his father - attempts to stand up on lando’s legs, sticking a hand out to wave back. lando’s hands go straight to his son’s waist, holding him close and ultimately pulling him back down onto his lap. 

“i like your pajamas” charles laughs out through the screen, identifying finn’s bright red ferrari pj’s he attempts to wear every night.

“charles likes your jammies, buddy,” lando relays, “what do we say?”

“tank you, cha!” finn screeches out while giving a giggle. the boys all then begin to comment on how the mclaren driver’s son is eating, sleeping, and breathing ferrari - just as you quietly open the door to the room, facing right at your boys but not in view of the camera. peaking your head in, you make eye contact with lando, him giving you a non-verbal communicator that he’s got finn and you’re okay, easing the panic in your eyes. 

“momma!” finn lets out a yelp as he notices your presence.

“hi, baby. you disappeared on me, i almost had to send out a search party!” you amuse your son as he gurgles into his father’s arms. 

“i sowwy, mommy. i jus’ miss dada” he says back, furthering his cuddling into lando’s arms, who simply pulls him closer and pecks his head with a kiss whispering a ‘missed you too, buddy’. 

“it’s alright, baby. next time just tell momma before you go, okay?” kindly reassuring the boy. 

“otay, mommy,”

“but it is bedtime, mister. so say goodnight to daddy and his friends,” you nod towards lando and his set up. 

“nooo, mommy pwease! dada and i have fun!” your son gives you an adorable whine as he lays against your husband. looking up to make eye contact with him, you see lando's puppy dog eyes on full display. 

the same ones that got you to go on a date with him, the same that got you to marry him, the same that got you a baby with him, the same that have you trying for another baby with him, and the same that are going to make you say yes today and deal with a cranky little three year old tomorrow. 

lando see’s the wheels turning in your brain and decides to add on in order to hit the nail in the coffin, “please, momma. five more minutes,” your husband pleads with your son. finn looks up at his dad, then whips his head back to you and nods his head, agreeing with his father.

you let out a defeated sigh, “fine, five more minutes,” your boys begin to cheer at their victory but you cut it short with a quick finger pointed at lando, “but you’re dealing with the cranky kid tomorrow,” you bite with a smile. your son looks up at his father, letting out a ‘ooooooo, you in twouble’ leading to everyone, including the stream, erupting in laughter. 

lando shakes his head at the teasing, hugs his son tight to his chest, and replies back with his best answer, “worth it,” while shooting you a wink as you shut the door.

[ceraga]

50 punishments

thanks to Lizzy for helping with the list read this first for some context https://www.tumblr.com/ceraga/765556872396865537/40-rules-while-under-ceragas-care

a timeout

pacigag

early bedtime

2 hours of bouncy time

dress up runway model for other littles

paci kisses with another little for an hour

temp check next change

triple diapers

oatmeal in your clean diaper(or next clean one)

Make you write an apology letter to another little using only crayons with your non-dominant hand while sitting in a messy diaper.

a bottle every half hour for the day

mouth soaping

making you give each diaper in a pack a name and write the name on each diaper

ask another little you've been intimate with out on date

given a mouthful of hot sauce and a bottle of milk

a spanking

another little as your babysitter for an afternoon

being my chair for half an hour

no potty privileges for a month

make you choose 3 pills from 8 to put up your butt where 4 pills among them are suppositories

Lines

you will be given a crossword every word you don't find in 5 minutes another half an hour before a change

having to wear underwear under your diaper for a day

no walking privileges for the day only crawling

baby food meals for a week

list 10 liquids other than water and get an enema of a random one, another little may remove boring options

being left on the changing table from one change to the next without removing the restraints

chastity time for a week

making you count each swear in a media you watched and getting a spank for each swear you caught, 10 for each swear you missed

no change and a 5 hour date with Mrs.Buzzy Wand's big sis Ms.sybian (no breaks)

a change and aphrodisiacs

change and the a date with Mrs. buzzy wand (remember rule 8 from)

lose 1 star

only baby entertainment aside from the stuff i put on for a week

suppository while my friends or your friends are over

no furniture privileges for a week

for a month each time you ask for a change, check or say how used your diaper is you must wait 3 hours before a change minimum

Dozen Ice cubes in your clean diaper(or next clean one)

a fleet enema and regular underwear for an hour (for when you think you can hold it like big kid)

make a top 10 list of punishments and a paragraph on each why you enjoy them, you will read it aloud to the other littles

locking mittens, diaper cover and booties for 2 weeks

getting your night time diaper put over your current one instead of a change for bed time

letting the other littles write on your body

for 2 weeks each time you mess you must make cummies in the living room no longer than an hour after messing or you will have to write 20 lines for every 5 minutes late after the changing

making you ask an a little you've been intimate with before, what punishment should be delivered for what you've done wrong

Take photos of you in various embarrassing poses, which will be used as your phone's lock screen and wallpaper until you spend 10 stars to change it.

making you change another little out of a nonmessy diaper without using your hands

for a week check every littles diaper by your pressing your face into it when you meet them

the words I, Me, and you will be treated swear words for a week

for a week you'll have a hollow catheter and hollow buttplug inserted in you and' you'll have to take a laxative every day

[devoutekuna]

When he's sick/injured

Includes- Toji, Sukuna, Nanami, Gojo, Geto

A/N- Geto has twin daughters in this

Sukuna-

Sukuna wasn't going to let a measly cold stop him, he was a king after all. Yet he still stays confined to his room not to get his daughter or wife sick. His daughter was rebellious refusing to take orders from anyone, even her father, that's why she went into his bedroom despite being told not to, carrying a big bowl full of her father's favourite soup with some meat inside it. "Hi dad!" Placing the bowl next to him as he sat outside on the porch getting some fresh air. "Hi baby" ruffling her hair as she sat down, maybe he was feeling nice since he was sick?

"I brought you some food" pushing it towards him. "Uraume said that it helps" kicking her little legs as she saw how he ate it, she had made it herself so it would be a blessing if he actually enjoyed it. "I made it myself, with the help from Uraume. She cooked the meat and I made the soup" pointing to it.

"You got more?" Handing her the empty bowl. "Oh, Oh yes!" She was even surprised he liked it, getting up as she ran towards the kitchen. Smiling to himself as he saw how his daughter acted.

Nanami-

During a mission he broke his wrist, fortunately it was already healing due to shoko, yet he had to come home with the white cast visible due to his shirt. "What happened to your arm daddy?" Pointing to the cast. "I fell" lying as he didn't want her to know the truth of how he got it. "Oh."

Pulling out the chair for whenever he came down to eat. "I will get you food!" Smiling up at him as he sat down "Thank you sweetheart" patting her head. Bringing back a bowl full of cereal, it was overflowing a bit due to the milk but it was fine. This was now a regular occurrence during the time he broke his wrist, having his daughter take over his responsibilities despite not asking to.

About to get up to go change the clothes from the washing machine into the dryer but his daughter beat him to it, running towards the dryer as she opened the door, "I will put it in the dryer!". "You don't have to." He knew she'd get upset if he didn't allow her to, but he really wanted her to go spend her time with her friends or atleast something else.

Geto-

Suguru was sick, well it was actually the common cold since it was winter, not a big deal, but his daughter's made it the biggest deal ever. Forcing you to take them to the costume store to buy nurses outfits, making sure that they had all the right equipment before checking on their father. "Daddy, we've come to do a checkup on you!" Her little smiles as she waddled in, pushing a toy trolley full of toy medical supplies. A glass of water, a stethoscope, plasters, temperature monitor, you get the jist. "Yes yes" nodding in response as they tried to close the door behind him. Picking up his daughter as he out them on the bed along with the trolley. "First, we need the temperature thingy" grabbing it from the bag as she stuck it in his mouth, making him almost gag because it was full force. "Mummy is making you soup so you need to rest." Her twin sister was waiting for the soup to be ready so that she could bring it to him.

"Here you go baby" handing her a bowl of soup, watching over as she worked slowly not to spill it.

Putting the bowl on the nightstand. "Now the stethoscope!" Putting it in her ears as she placed it all around his upper body. "It goes here sweetheart" moving her hand so that the plastic touched his bare chest instead of his head. "36! You have a fever daddy" trying to diagnose him, yet she was wrong. Atleast she tried her best.

Gojo-

He was a bit overdramatic when it came to you spending more time with him, one example of this is the fact that he sometimes refuses to use his reverse cursed technique so that you can patch him up.

"Ow!" See normally you'd be the one to wrap him up with bandages but since you were already asleep, his son decided to help out. Using his arm as a handle so that he didn't fall off the sofa as he tightened the bandage. "Your pulling too hard" trying to loosen the material. "It's like a tourniquet!" He was taught to make sure the wrapping was tight or else it wouldn't work. "It's a small scrape" defending himself. "It could get infected! So you need to be safe" he clearly learnt that off you since Satoru was so careless.

Toji-

His daughter has a dream of becoming a nurse, it was always short lived though since she kept changing professions, last week she wanted to be a princess and the month before she wanted to be a president. "Okay dad, I will be your doctor for today!" Sat on the sofa as he watched her try and climb up, he'd never allow someone else to do this to him other than his daughter. The scar on his shoulder was practically healed by now, yet she still wanted to check it out. "Okay, does this hurt?" Pressing down on mark. "No" fingers digging further into his skin. "Now?" Looking back up at him as she sat on his arm.

"Nope" he was already tired of this as she was just messing around but he'd entertain his daughter if it meant seeing her happy. "How about now?" Shaking his head as she pouted. "I can give you paracetamol for now" climbing off the man as she buttoned up her doctor's jacket. "But I said it didn't hurt" writing down some words on a piece of paper. "Well I am the doctor here" smirking at the man.

[chuubian]

Let the light in

Tags Beast Dazai x gn civilian reader, secrets, obsession (kinda), kidnapping, Dazai just needs to be loved, pathetic wet cat Dazai

Summary Your boyfriend, Dazai, has been acting weird. You suspect he's been seeing other people, but the reality is worse than you could've imagined.

A/N This one is rlly long again but i didn't feel like splitting it up into parts I'm so sorry

A loud ring cuts through the pleasant atmosphere of the cafe- dragging you out of your thoughts. You turn your head to look at the source of the interruption. There's a tall man at the door. The bags under his eyes are dark and heavy, pulling the rest of him down with them, hunched over, slowly making his way to the counter. Taking in the rest of his appearance, you notice the darkness of his eyes, and the dullness of his skin- stretched over fragile bone, giving his face a gaunt, hollow appearance. He seemed to be on the verge of death.

“What can i get-”

“Get me a regular coffee.”

Rude. He didn't even give you a chance to finish. Your eyebrows furrow, fingers tapping on the counter impatiently. Blood boiling, you decide not to start anything, instead turning to prepare his drink. There wasn’t anyone else in the shop so you could take your time. Grabbing a pour-over brewer, you set it down with a loud clunk. Making coffee was something that usually relaxed you. Warm steam rose up, washing over your face, cleansing your body of the irritation flowing through your veins.

From the corner of your eye, you could see the man settle down, taking a seat on the stool in front of you. You pour scalding hot water over the grounds, watching them bloom and bubble. Golden liquid circulates through the coffee, dripping down into the glass container under it. The see-through jug turns foggy and opaque- filling the entire brewer with not only freshly brewed coffee, but hot water vapor. The scent of a fresh brew is loud- filling the room, sticking to the walls and your clothing. It's hard to miss it.

You pour the man's coffee into a white mug, setting it down infront of him. His gaze had not left you the entire time, it was unsettling. A freezing cold shiver traveled down your spine. What was with this guy? You had never met anyone that was so ominous. So haunting. His lips stretched into an unnatural smile. It looked off. Like he had never done it previously.

"Thank you."

His voice was softer, not as freezing or rude as he had treated you only a few minutes ago. You set down a little jug of creamer and some sugar cubes. He didn't seem like the type to like sweet coffee, but you didn't like to make assumptions. His slender fingers reached out to pick five sugars, putting them in his coffee and so much creamer that it turns into a light beige color. Seriously? What is wrong with this guy.... He tips the mug back, chugging like its water.

"It's delicious."

"It's basically just milk and sugar with everything you put in it."

His dry lips quirk up into a small grin- genuine this time.

"Still tasty."

The only sound resonating through the cafe is soft classical music and the man's quiet drinking. You hadn't realized before but... he was so handsome. Dark hair framed his thin, pale face. His eye is big and dark, like a black hole, swallowing up all the life around him. Did he lose his other eye though? Why is there gauze covering it? His features were small and delicate, nothing like his demeanor. There was something so captivating, so uncanny about him. He almost seemed like he was half-corpse. Everything about him was so cold.

When he finally finished his drink, he asked for the check- pulling out a black metallic credit card from his wallet to pay with. You looked him up and down. Was he rich? You wouldn't doubt it. His clothing seemed to be good quality. Signing the bill, he slides the receipt back to you.

"Have a good day!"

You wave him off but he doesn't respond. As he disappears out the door, the tension from the room dissipates, only leaving a churning sensation in your lower stomach. Like your belly is eating itself. You look back down at the check. He left a huge tip. 45%. And his number.

Call Me :p

It wasn't uncommon for customers to try and hit on you, but they had never been like this guy. And none had been as bewitching. Something in you urged you to call him. To not let him slip away. You punch his number into your cell phone, a prickling sensation spreading over your skin. When your phone asks for a name, you don't know what to put. Fuck. Why didn't you ask?? What are you supposed to call him?? Suddenly, a realization comes over you, the fog clearing from your mind. You were fucking stupid. You pull the crumpled receipt back out from your pocket, looking over the messy signature. Dazai Osamu.

—

In the few weeks you had known Dazai, he had completely overtaken your life. He frequently sent you gifts, called you everyday for hours at a time, taking you out on beautiful dates every week. He always came back to your apartment after, but for some reason, you were never allowed in his house. Any time you would bring up the subject, his face would turn impassive, voice growing frigid. What could he possibly be hiding?

"Don't worry about it. We can always go to your place anyways right? What's so important about mine?"

"I guess... but why can't I? It's just weird that you won't let me."

He presses a small kiss to your forehead. Immediately, all your muscles seem to even out, relaxing.

"It's just... not somewhere you want to see alright? You trust me right? I have your best interest in mind."

When he puts it that way, it makes sense. Why are you so suspicious? He hasn't done anything wrong. He's been perfect in every way so far. Maybe it's just new relationship anxiety. Things have been moving quickly but that doesnt mean Dazai can’t have boundaries. You sigh, wrapping your arms around his slender waist. Solid bone digs into your flesh painfully, sharp aching throbs lighting your nerves on fire. It always hurt to be so close to him, but you couldn't stop going back. Being with the brunette was too addictive. You wished you could have all his attention to yourself.

"Let's go back to yours."

You nod, taking his cool bandaged hand in yours, leading him through the streets towards your apartment. As you two walked hand in hand, you noticed something that never happened previously. It was noon, but the street was relatively empty. This is a big city, why is it so still? Everything is so peaceful. The few people that are walking, are looking down at the floor, seeming humiliated- almost distressed. Men refuse to even look in your direction, deciding the wall is much more interesting than anything else.

"It's so empty..."

Dazai hums quietly, looking straight ahead, not answering. It's uncharacteristic of him. He usually can't shut up. He pulls you closer, arm wrapping around your waist, pressing you up against him. You walk back home with him, an awkward silence fills the air. You took a long deep breath, eyes darting all over. Moisture beads on your forehead. It's far too warm. You step away from Dazai, taking hold of his hand again. It's uncomfortable to be too close right now.

When you arrive at the door of your apartment, the pressure weighing on your shoulders lifts. It's home. You stick the key in the door. A jangling noise fills the air- metal against metal, clinking and working to unfasten the padlock. Once the door opens, cool air rushes towards you, refreshing your overheated skin. A shiver runs down your body to your fingertips. The feeling of tranquility descends over your muscles.

Before you can take a step forward, Dazais slender fingers wrap around your wrist.He pulls you inside, going through the doorframe- his shoulders sag forward, letting out a breath he had been holding the entire walk home. The scowl that had carved its way between his eyebrows finally evened out, leaving only smooth skin between them. He takes off his coat and scarf. He hands them to you, already anticipating you'll do everything for him.

You grab hold of his stuff, taking off your coat too. When you reach up to hang your stuff up, you feel thin arms wrapping around your waist- smooth plaster grazed against your clothing, his nails biting into the fabric, keeping you in place. Warmth radiates from his body. Overwhelming and stifling. You wanted to push his arms off of you. To free yourself from his crushing restraint. Maybe you shouldn't have let him come over. It was difficult to behave normally around him. What is he hiding?

Dazai rests his chin on your shoulder, pressing a soft kiss to your jaw. His dark hair brushes against your cheek. You don't want to do this right now. Not like this. He needs to go.

"Dazai..."

You grab his wrists, prying his arms off you.

"Hm? What's wrong, darling?"

"It's just... I've told you everything about myself but I barely know anything about you. Why?"

His arms tighten around you. He stretches his lips into a tight smile.

"We went over this. You need to trust me, honey. What do you want to know anyways? I'll tell you anything."

"Well for starters... I don't even know where you work. Where is your family? Are you close with them? You never mention your mom or anything."

His eyes blacken. Absorbing all light. Empty and chilling. It sends a shudder down your spine. The skin crinkles around his eyes, teeth flashing, smile widening. It seemed forced.

"Well... I work in marketing, and my family lives in Osaka. I moved away for University and i've been here ever since. I call my mom every day, i love her dearly and even though we dont see eachother often, were very tightly-knit."

He sounded like he was telling the truth... Maybe the reason he never mentioned his family is because they're far away, but something in the back of your mind was nagging at you. Did his explanation even make sense?

"Where did you study? What company? How can you afford all the gifts with just a marketing job?"

You shoot out questions as fast as you can, trying to catch him off guard.

"Yokohama city university. Mikatsu group. I have a good position. Money isn't something I need to worry about."

He answered without hesitation. Expression giving nothing away. He must be telling the truth. He seemed so sure of himself.

"...Really?"

"Really."

He looked into your eyes, maintaining eye contact until you decided to look away. Dazai gave you no reason to doubt him. He just wanted trust. But there was something telling you he was lying.

"I believe you."

You lean back into his touch, melting under his ministrations. He leans down. Pressing his lips to your temple, he starts walking you back to your room.

"Come on... Let me help you relax, yeah?

—

Stillness seems to follow you around. In the cafe. In the street during rush hour. Even in shopping centers that are supposed to be overflowing with people. Whenever you stepped foot anywhere in public, the floor cleared and your surroundings were drained of people. They didn't even look up as they stream past you, rushing out like water that's been repelled by oil. Oil that for some reason just can't get the harrowing feeling that their boyfriend is lying to them, to stop.

So you decide you have to investigate. Maybe it's absurd. Dressing up in all black and dark sunglasses, you head out- making your way down the stairs, up the sidewalk to Dazai's supposed place of work, and hiding in the alleyway beside the old building. Waiting for three hours, from seven to ten, just to make sure you can see him if he comes in late, proves to be more uninteresting than anything else you've ever done. Why didn't you just ask what time he goes in?

Now you have to spend too much time in this dirty alleyway. The smell of grease and trash permeates the hard concrete of the buildings and sidewalk- it would be unthinkable for them to ever be apart, especially when the ground is covered in decaying food and random black stains you would never want to know the origins of. You don't dare to touch anything around you, deciding to just stand. Even if it hurts your legs.

It's been at least an hour. Where is he? People have been filtering in and out, unaware of the person observing them in the shadows. This is ridiculous. You should call and find out. The fluorescent glow of your cell phone blinds you, making you squint as you scroll down your contact list and press on Dazai's name. A ring circulates through the air. You look up, startled out of your trance.

Of course he's there.

You see him dig his phone out of his pocket. He looks at the screen, thumbing at the buttons and holding it up to his ear. You do the same.

"Hello?"

"Dazai... uh...where are you?"

Fuck. Does that sound suspicious? You definitely should have planned better.

"I'm going into work right now. Why? You miss me?"

He's smiling, earnestly, stopped in front of the door to the building. His suit is finely pressed, his bandages are clean and neatly arranged. He looks so good.

"No.. uh... I just wanted to see if you wanted to come over afterwards? Do you usually go to work at this time?"

"I do. Are you suspicious of me again darling? Is that why you're watching me right now?"

His voice had flattened. Dazai turns his head slowly to look in your direction. Your blood runs cold and your heart hammers in your chest. His gaze was piercing, seeing right through you and into your very core. Past all the deceit. You felt naked. Stripped of all the pomp and frills.

As he steps closer, his sharp features become clearer to you. His lips are pursed together, hands clenched so hard his knuckles are turning white. A prickling sensation shoots up your spine. You try to look around frantically for a place to hide but it's a pointless endeavor. Sooner than your shaky legs can move, you feel a heavy hand gripping your shoulder tightly, forcing you to turn and look at the offender.

Dazai was grinning.

"Why do you look so scared, darling?"

"How did you-"

He cuts you off.

"You're so obvious... But seriously why are you following me? I thought you trusted me. Did you think I was lying?"

Your hands reach out for Dazai, curling in the fabric of his suit jacket. Taking a long, slow, deep breath, your eyebrows pinch together.

"I-i'm sorry I don't know... I just had this feeling..."

"Don't listen to your feelings, listen to me."

His grip turns gentle, boney hand traveling up to your scalp, petting your hair lovingly. You look up at his handsome face, eyes shining with amusement. A tremble runs up your body.

"You're not mad?"

Dazai holds your face.

"Of course not. I just think you're crazy and a little silly, but I'm not mad."

He leans down. His warm lips press against your forehead.

"I'm not crazy-"

"You are. Don't deny it. You figured out where I worked and stalked me."

His voice is sharp, reminding you of the severity of your transgression.

"Sorry..."

A low chuckle rumbles in his throat.

"Why should I forgive you huh?"

Your eyebrows pinch together. Really? You're not begging for his mercy.

"Are you serious?"

"Yes. Go on, tell me how much you love me, I'm listening!"

He puts his hands on his hips, stepping back and puffing his chest out. You could feel the blood simmering under your skin.A displeased sound leaves your lips without your permission, unintentionally encouraging Dazai to keep going.

"Don't be shy, I know how much you love me."

Has he always been so irritating? You swear he wasn't like this when you first met.

"Look.. I'm sorry for following you but I'm not saying that."

Sighing, he looks you up and down. His eyes are downcast. Disappointed.

"You dressed up for this? You're not in a spy movie you know."

You push him away lightly, cheeks heating up.

"It helped me get in the mindset."

"I'm sure."

Dazai steps forward, arms coiling themselves around your shoulders. His rigid, skinny sternum presses against your chest. It's ice cold and sharp.

"You look stunning."

Dazai noses at your throat, a fluttering feeling nudging at the walls of your stomach. Pushing the limits of your anatomy. Your knees are on the verge of collapsing. He keeps going, pressing soft kisses to the sensitive skin of your neck- his dry lips scrape against the surface, sending small sparks of pleasure down your spine. Bandaged hands migrate down to your lower tummy, lifting your shirt and gently caressing the small bit of flesh there.

"Ready to eat, really."

A breath catches in your throat. Your hands shakily grasp onto his arms. Before you can lean in to kiss him, he drags himself away from you.

"I'm gonna be late, I should get going."

You cross your arms, feet tapping against the concrete.

"You're such an asshole."

"Hm? What did I do? You know I have work right now."

You huff, shoving his shoulder away softly.

"You knew what you were doing."

His lips stretch into a sleazy smirk.

"Yeah, I did. But I really do have to go."

Dazai pulls you closer, hands on your waist.

"Do you want me to come over later?"

You can't bring yourself to make eye contact, nodding.

"Fine."

He snorts gleefully, kissing your cheek before bolting into the building. His feet slam against the floor as he calls out to you.

"Get ready for me!"

You're left there, again. All alone. It happened so fast you could barely process everything that happened. Your brain was scrambled- whiplash blurring your vision and filling your ears with cotton. You don't even get to say a proper goodbye when Dazai is gone, inside the building and presumably hard at work.

Gathering what little remains of your pride, you drag your feet across the pavement, slowly making your way down the empty sidewalk. The minute amount of people around you, refuse to look up. How can they even tell where they're going honestly? Were you that ugly that they couldn't bear to, even briefly, glance over at you?

Despite the fact that no one was looking up at you, there was still a persistent feeling of being watched. No matter how fast you ran, how furiously your lungs worked to keep oxygen in your lungs, Or how strenuously your heart worked to pump the blood though your arteries- you could not escape the penetrating gaze. You whip your head around, hoping to catch the freak in the act, but nothing was there. Only a vacant, silent street.

Was it just your imagination?

It couldn't be.

You stand still. Glaring at the deserted sidewalk behind you.

"Come out! I know you're there!"

Nothing happens. The bird's morning songs fade into hushed, uneasy chirps. Even nature can sense the impending crisis.

"I don't have all day! Why are you following me?!"

A small shuffling noise comes from the alleyway behind you. As soon as you turn around you're greeted with a short man who has white hair and a bizarre haircut. The collar around his neck looks heavy and painful. What's wrong with him? He's hiding his face, peeking up at you almost... scared?

"You. Why are you following?! Who are you?!"

You don't dare to get closer. He could be dangerous. Who knows if this stalker would get violent.

He doesn't answer.

"My boyfriends a cop! You better answer me!"

It's a complete lie. But he doesn't know that.

"No he's not."

You're taken aback. How the fuck would he know.

"What?! Yes he is! How long have you been stalking me? You don't even know basic information about me. You're bad at this! Find something else to do!"

"I'm not stupid. I know what I'm doing."

The man's voice was soft- weak and meek. You slowly make your way over to him, arms crossed in front of you.

"Then you should know my boyfriend can beat you up."

He stays deathly silent, hunched over. Almost like he's an animal- ready to attack or make his escape.

"You better give me one good reason not to call him up right now."

"It's pointless."

Your eyes narrow.

"Why would you say that? You don't know anything. You're a degenerate freak. He'll kill you."

He stares at you, eyes boring into your soul. He seems confused. The white haired man's head is tilted curiously- looking at you like youre a dumbass.

"He's the one who sent me."

What.

Dazai??

"Huh?"

The man steps forward.

"You didn't know? He just wanted you to stay safe... I swear it's not me being a creep, but with his work, h-he's worried about your safety."

This man is delusional. His work? What could a man in marketing be trying to protect you from?

"You're crazy."

"I'm telling the truth!"

Does he truly think you'll believe something so ridiculous? Your hands clench, face heating, breath picking up. You're seriously in the mood to put him in his place yourself.

"Stop lying."

He senses that you're getting angry.

"I have proof!"

"Show me. It better be real."

The man pulls out a flip phone with unsteady hands, snapping it open, and pressing a few buttons. When he turns the phone over to you, you are horrified by the amount of pictures taken without your knowledge. It's hundreds. Pictures taken through the cafe windows, from behind while you're walking, of you out with friends. It's only been a few weeks. How are there so many?? Your eyes widen, blood draining from your face. A dreadful feeling forms in your stomach.

This can be true. You frantically take hold of the device, holding the radiant screen close to your eyes, uncaring of the damage it could cause to your sight. Pressing a few buttons you go to the contact information. It's his number. You would recognize it anywhere. But what if it's fake?

"What's your name?"

"Atsushi."

You look back down at the phone, thumb hovering over the keys.

"Atsushi. Okay... you better not be lying to me."

Before you can overthink it, you press the call button. Your hands are shaking as you bring the phone up to your ear. You hardly have to hear the rings when a deep voice comes through.

"Atsushi. What is it?"

Chills run down your spine. It can't be him. Why does he sound so distant? Like when you first met him. You quickly hang up, handing the phone back to Atsushi. Your abdomen feels like it's eating itself. Churning and swirling. A hollow vortex swallowing you up.

"W-what does Dazai work in again?"

Atsushi's face gives nothing away.

"Management…?"

You roll your eyes. He knows exactly what you mean.

"Where."

"If he hasn't told you, I can't either."

Your eyebrows pinch together, scowling.

"Fine."

You toss the phone back to him.

"If you won’t tell me, I'll figure it out myself."

The despair in your gut turned into burning white hot rage coursing through your veins. This time, you couldn't even enjoy the empty street on your way back home- stomping past the gardens you usually visit when you're out alone. Your entire body was trembling, both with anger and anguish. How dare he? He made you feel like you were crazy! He lied to you this entire time?! Why?!? Brass keys rattle loudly as you try to unlock the door.

The door unlatches and swings open. Emptiness is the only thing you can discern when you walk through the threshold. Dazai, the person you once trusted isn't here. Even when he does finally make his way back to you, the lies he told can never be untold. The walls shake as you slam the opening shut- anticipating the storm that's about to come, quivering nervously.

Time goes by faster than expected as you wait for Dazai. Your mind is racing- trying to process everything you knew and everything you didn't. What was he thinking? Why? What else had he lied about? It's been hours and your brain still can't figure it out. Why? It can't be that bad... He could be on the verge of bankruptcy and it wouldn't have mattered to you. Maybe he was just a pathological liar.

Your head is spinning in circles, exploring any path it could, trying to find its way to the truth. That's the important thing. Your blood is boiling- bubbles of frustration rise up to the surface, bursting in vicious outbursts. The resounding scream you let out make a  dryness and pulsating throbs echo through your esophagus. Your ears ring horribly. 

You're dizzy. And there's no other choice left but to confront him.

The echo of a knock on the door reverberates through the room. Your legs feel sluggish, you have to force the muscles to work. Force yourself to go to the entrance. Your skin heats, and small drops of sweat start forming around your hairline. Quickly, you wipe your forehead and hands off. When the door swings open, you're met with the face you dreaded the most. Dazai.

He doesn't even wait for you to let him in before he lunges at you. His skinny arms are surprisingly strong, squeezing your waist and pulling you closer.

"I missed you so much honey."

He buries his face in the crook of your neck. Warmth engulfs you, dragging you in. Your head knows you should push him away. You should be confronting him- but your body wants to give in, to give it up and just forget about everything. After all, did it really matter? It's just his job, he isn't a bad person.

With great effort, you managed to separate his hands from your midriff.

"Dazai. We need to talk."

He smiles, pulling you right back in.

"No we don't, come on you seem tense. I'm already staying up all night. We’ll talk after."

He insists, hastily pressing gentle kisses to your jaw and neck. You thoughtlessly tilt your head back, giving him free reign. Dazai doesnt waste a second, nipping at the delicate skin. Your heart is pounding against your ribcage, blood rushing up to your head. It's hard to keep your composure. A soft gasp escapes your lips.

"See? You need this."

Dazai is merciless- when you try to get him away, he dives right back in. He’s relentless.

"D-dazai, I'm serious!"

After wrestling with him for a few minutes he finally backs off.

"What is it?"

His voice is flat, eyes darkening- he sighs and steps behind you, chin resting on your shoulder. It's a drastic change from his former appearance. He definitely knew more than he let on.

"Tell me the truth."

He doesn't answer.

"Please dazai... Why is this such a big deal for you? I don't care where you work, I just can't be with someone who keeps lying to me."

He tightens his grip on you.

"I can't tell you."

"Really. Why not?"

Dazai turns you around to face him. His fingers dig into your sides.

"Because it's just not important. I thought you loved me. This shouldn't be a big deal if you truly do."

That was so unfair.

"Of course i do. But I don't want you to keep lying to me... please."

He stares at you for a few seconds, judging your expression.

"I work as a programmer."

"Nope."

"I do!"

You give him a pointed look.

"Fine, I'm actually a lawyer."

"Dazai."

"Doctor."

"Don't make me laugh."

"Sanitation."

"No."

"Barista."

"Seriously? How long are you gonna keep this up?"

Dazai runs his hand through his hair, clearly stressed out.

"You really want to know? You're not gonna like it."

"Dazai... come on, you know I'm not like that. I wont stop liking you so easily."

He looks away from you, squinting, deep in thought.

"I work somewhere dangerous."

"Where. Specifically."

He shakily takes hold of your hands. The old bandages are unraveling slowly- revealing more and more of his pale skin. It's littered with scars and scabs. There's a few spots with discoloration, and you can practically see his veins through his skin.

"Promise you won't hate me first."

You raise his hand up to your face, pressing a soft kiss to his knuckles.

"I promise."

He takes in a large lungful of air- releasing the tension from his shoulders.

"I work for... a criminal organization."

You lower your head. A hollow feeling grows in your chest. It's like a huge weight has been plopped onto your shoulders. Your ears stop working for a second as the sound of water rushing resonates through your head- washing in fear and outrage.

"Like.. a gang?"

"Slightly bigger."

You pause.

"How much bigger..."

"Like... Port Mafia sized."

Your body stills. There's a loud ringing in your ear. Scenery of horrible new stories flash past your eyes- destroyed jaws from biting the curb, and hundreds of poisoned civilians as a way to achieve their depraved objectives. What?? You can't find it in yourself to speak up, your voice is weak and cracking.

"A-As a cleaner or something... right? Something that doesn't i-involve..."

Some things were better left unsaid. You couldn't imagine him doing something so cruel. He's not capable of killing someone... right?

"As the boss."

Dazai can't seem to look directly at you. His hands tighten painfully. You try to step away, to process everything, but he won't let you. You just wish the ground would swallow you whole.

How naive of you to ever think Dazai could genuinely be good after lying so much. The small flame of hope that your heart fostered, was blown out within seconds. It left your body freezing to the touch. No longer does the love for him blaze on. Even if it did, it was your duty to extinguish it. You couldn't be with someone so cold-blooded.

"Please say something."

It's like your body is not your own anymore. Like your soul has escaped its bodily imprisonment. You wish it had. Then this would be none of your problem. What could you even say?

"Leave."

He stammers over his words, shocked.

"W-What?"

"I said leave. I don't want to see you any more."

Desperately, he starts shaking his head. The one eye that's exposed widens. They're no longer than deep empty black, but something more ardent. Something frantic.

"No. No. You can't do this to me. I won't let you!"

You lightly squeeze his fingers.

"You can't stop me. It's not your choice to make Dazai... If one person says it's over, it's over."

"I can't be without you. Please."

Abruptly, he drops onto his knees. Hard. Dazais body presses against your leg, fingers sinking into the flesh of your thigh. He holds on urgently. It's like he's climbing a mountain. He's hopelessly struggling to hold on to the last remaining ledges, trying to make his journey up to the top. It's something he knows is futile. The cliff is too steep, there's nowhere left to step, he's tired and starving after all his effort. But he can't help it. He has to. What else is there to do? He can't go back now- it's too late.

The relationship will never be the same. You know it. He knows it. But is it so wrong to want it back? His eyes keep darting around the room, looking for anything to help him. It's... unsettling. You've never seen him like this. He's usually so much more composed- so much harder to read.

"Y-You can't just break up with me. Not like this... I can't live without you."

"You have to find a way.”

Dazai pulls you down to his level, holding your body against his slim sternum. He's trembling.

"Never. I won't go back! I can't!"

You shake your head.

"It's over Dazai."

—

It's been a month since you left Dazai. You haven't dated for long but he's the kind of person that's hard to forget. The little time you spent together left a huge impression on you. Everything felt... oppressive, unfulfilling without him.

Coming back home from work with nothing to look forward to- boring white walls stare back at you. The quietude was ear-piercing. When he was here, the air was filled with laughter and Dazais ominous jokes. They always made you laugh even though they weren't funny. Only the noise of the air conditioning, working tirelessly, was present.

The scent of his cologne had long since faded away. He took back all the clothes he'd left over the weeks. When he was over at your apartment, he'd always start making coffee. But the aroma of those stupid beans made you feel sick now. The taste had turned bitter- and not in the acidic way that was characteristic of the scalding hot golden drink. Within the first week of your break up, you were forced to throw away your coffee machine. In the second week you could barely even handle your job at the cafe anymore.

Working at the cafe is a bleak affair. The coffee shop has too many memories. Coffee in general has too many memories. It was still as peaceful as ever in the shop, but you found yourself rushing through your work- trying to get the customers out as fast as possible. You didn't want them to stare. You didn't want them to see the tears forming in your eyes, or the tremors wracking your body.

Dazai never failed to be the first one in the cafe, even before it opens. Not a single morning would pass without him there. How he gets in you'll never know. The door is still locked and it doesn't seem like he broke anything to get in. You set up for the day, not sparing him another glance. He doesn't speak anyways.

You quickly make him a coffee.

"Thanks."

You don't respond, turning away and cleaning up. Soon, customers will start pouring in. Dazai will be gone by then.

"I miss you."

Your chest tightens and your eyes start to sting. It never seems to get easier.

"Please leave, Dazai."

"No. You need to hear this. I can't sleep. I can't eat. I cant concentrate on my work. Please... You don't have to be upset at me, just imagine I'm someone else, it's fine!"

Why did he have to be so difficult to be with? Part of you wanted to just give in. To feel him close to you. But you couldn't forgive him for something like this so easily.

"Dazai... don't make this harder than it has to be... please..."

When you glance up at him, you notice the small teardrops clinging to his eyelashes. It's a pathetic display of vulnerability- something he would never allow himself to do in front of anyone else. He sees you viewing his pitiful state, hurriedly turning away, hiding his face from sight. It's odd that a man who has been begging you every day to get back together with him, begging you to believe that he'll change, still refuses to be open with you.

"I have to go."

Before you can protest, he's gone. He, of course, leaves an absurdly large tip.

The rest of your shift isn't much better. You were already having an awful day, full of overthinking and longing- but angry business men in a rush to get to their office jobs also had to add onto the pressure. Hopefully they don't notice that you spit in their coffee.

At the end of a long eight hours, your coworker eventually comes to relieve you. As they take over, you clock out and start your journey home. Interestingly, nothing had changed since Dazai and you broke up. The people in public still avoided your gaze, and you altogether.By this point it was obvious they only did that because of your ex-boyfriend. But is it really still necessary? You're not together anymore.

Atsushi's gaze is piercing. He's likely been watching you all day, even when Dazai was with you. His footsteps behind you grew heavier and heavier. He must be tired. A wave of remorse hits you like a tsunami. Your chest throbs painfully for him. You should probably make it up to him- it can't be easy working for Dazai.

Without a second thought you turn around, ready to offer Atsushi a bottle of water at the very least. But what you’re met with isn't the familiar face and uneven bangs of Atsushi. Instead, it's a tall man, completely dressed in black pants and a black hoodie, face shrouded in darkness. Your heart stops. Cautiously, you step back. It's like you're drowning and unable to breathe- water impeding your ability to scream and call for help. What?? Who is this? Where's Atsushi?

"W-who are you?"

The dryness in your mouth and throat make it hard to form proper words. Instead of responding, the man springs forward, arms reaching out to grab you. Instinctively, you try to run, but your legs feel heavy. They won't move no matter how much you try. Strong hands restrain your movements and pull you against him. His nails dig into your waist and arm, making you cry out in pain.

In a frenzy, you try anything you can to at least run- kicking and screaming. With everyone on the street avoiding you, there's no one noticing what's happening. They're all gone. It's just you and the strange man. It's an impossible feat. He's bigger, stronger, taller. Without delay, he holds up an old white rag to your nose and mouth. The last thing your mind recognizes before your vision goes black, is the syrupy scent practically gushing from the cloth.

—

Your eyes flutter open, vision hazy, head inflamed. Your body is completely covered in a cold sweat and begging at you to go back to sleep. Metal chains hinder your ability to move. The solid wood bars of the chair dig into you cruelly. Adjusting your posture only makes the wrists tied behind you pull against your bonds more- you are sure your bones are going to break.

It's impossible to escape. Everything around you is dark, you couldn't see your hand waving in front of your own face if it was free. A constant ear splitting vibration resonates in your head. Where are you? What's going on?

"Ahh... you're finally awake."

A deep voice speaks up from behind, startling you. A fist clamps onto your hair, pulling back brutally. Your scalp was burning.

"Ahh! That hurts!"

The man chuckles, letting go of your hair and putting his large hands on your shoulders.

"Now... Since you're awake, we can get started."

You can hear the sound of his heavy boots slamming against the floor, stopping in front of you. The gleam of his bright phone screen stings your eyes. His face is now visible to you- illuminated by the fluorescent light. He looks dirty. There's muck stuck in the crevices of his wrinkles. An unevenly shaven beard has left behind a green-hued 5 o'clock shadow over the lower half of his face and red inflamed ingrown hairs. A thick layer of oil covers his skin, sealing the filth and grime between his skin and itself.

It's like a bucket of cold water is poured over you. Your muscles seize, freezing, unable to move. But at the same time, your body is trembling- as if expecting something. Why are you here? Is he planning to... No. You shouldn't even think of that.

"Just sit there and look pretty for me okay?"

He raises his phone. The man is pointing the camera towards you, flash on, his grimey hand coming up to graze your chin. He doesn't even speak to you, instead he decides to address the camera recording.

"See what I got here?"

He tightens his clutch on your face.

"If you don't get me 300,000,000 yen by tomorrow at 6 pm, I'll make sure you never see them again... alive, at least."

The man lets go of your cheeks, alternatively opting to bring down his open palm on your face. A gasp emerges from your lungs. Your cheek stings and burns. The blood rushes to your face, overheating your skin. Your jaw clenches. A scorching heat travels down your body. Anger makes your blood boil. You couldn't do anything if you tried at this point. If you could just get out....

"Fuck you. I'll get out of here soon.. and I'm going to kill you."

He howls. As if it was just a silly joke.

"You really think you can do that huh?"

The man's face twists, like he just tasted something bitter. He knees you right in the stomach. You double over. Air rushes out of your lungs, they throb and heave- yearning for another breath. White spots dance in your vision. He ignores your cries of agony.

"You have until tomorrow. Osamu."

He spits out that name. The dirty man pulls your head back, recording the miserable look on your face for his camera before he shuts his phone off and slips it into his pocket again. The noise of his steps fades away. The hinges of the door creak and echo through the empty room. You once again are left in the shadows. Deserted.

So that's what this was about. That bandaged asshole. Resentment and outrage fills your entire being. If he had never gotten involved with you, this never would have happened. It's all his fault. You could never forgive him.

Time flows by slowly. The things you see, the things you hear, become hazy. A tide of seclusion rushes in, polluting the little cognizance you have. The edges of your memory blurr and muddy. All that is left is the bitter taste in your mouth. The ire towards that man. That man who could have avoided this if he just never came into the cafe.

Your head hangs low, unable to hold itself up from the weight. Wood chips invade the space under your nails as you scratch at the arms of the chair. They poke at your sensitive nail beds, drawing out small droplets of blood. Saliva could no longer soothe the cracking of your dry lips. The taste of iron in your mouth was sickening. Every muscle in your body is sore.

In the distance, a faint buzz of excitement tears through the deafening silence. They must be thrilled. It's a lot of money to squeeze out of the boss of the port mafia. It must have taken a lot of planning. The noise becomes stronger and louder. As you pick your head up, your ears can discern the muffled sounds of screaming. There's loud banging against metal, creating a sort of disorienting wobbly noise. You flinch as there's an intense explosion, followed by gunshots. Your entire being vibrates with the force of the blast.

After a few minutes, the thundering clamor vanishes, leaving behind an eerie tranquility. Is everyone gone? Did they leave you here alone? To starve? Eyes darting around the room, you try to find anything you could use to break out, but the room you were currently held captive in is too dim. You're practically stuck in a black hole- consuming everything around it, all light and sound, letting nothing evade its unforgiving clasp.

Heavy steel chains clatter noisily. Your head whips around to look towards the source of the sound. A piercing ring and clash resonates through the room. Soft leather crashes against the concrete floor before stopping right in front of you. Freezing, slender fingers brush against your jaw. It's... familiar. You could recognize that bandaged hand anywhere.

"D-Dazai...?"

Searing hot agony spreads down your throat. You could barely recognize your own voice. They had given you no food, no water, no mercy. A deep voice hums softly.

"Yes.. It's me, I came for you."

Fury and panic stop you in your place. Your heart feels like it's jumped into your throat. He's here. His nimble fingers are undoing your restraints, he's helping- but you can't help wanting him to get as far away from you as possible. He's the reason you're here to begin with. Unfortunately, your body won't let you fight back. Uncontrollable shocks attack your nerves- your skin feels raw and delicate, on the verge of splitting.

"Get a-away from me.. I-I can handle myself."

"Shhhh."

Boney hands reach out for you. He gently reaches out for you, lifting you up with no problem, and pressing your chest against his.

"Relax... you're okay now."

The hardness of his body isn't even uncomfortable. It's... calming. You don't even realize when your eyes slowly flutter shut, shutting out the world, cascading into a tranquil slumber.

—

Only aching pains and drowsiness registers in your mind. The sun is too bright in your eyes, and it's far too cold in this room. Actually... where are you even? You whip your head around, puzzled. There's red silk curtains draping down the floor-to-ceiling windows, and lavish persian rugs. Everything was luxuriously decorated in reds and black- only the highest quality fabrics and furnishing were allowed.

You rip off the fluffy warm sheets. Freezing cold air rushes towards you, attacking your body and etching goosebumps onto your skin. The sensation of spines pricking at the soles of your feet when you step onto black tiles is agonizing. Your legs tremble with effort- carrying you out of the lush bedroom and into the large, just as extravagant living room. Dazai lives like a king.

Dazai is sitting silently on the couch. He's leaning forward with his hands clasped under his chin. As soon as the door opens, his head whirls around.

"You're awake."

He stands, running over to you and helping you over to the sofa.

"Are you okay? Does anything hurt?"

The bandaged man tries to sit next to you, invading your personal space. but you scoot further down.

"I'm fine. I don't need your help."

The hopeful look in his eye dims.

"Honey-"

"Don't call me that. You lost the privilege to call me that the moment you lied to me."

An anguished, guttural noise spills out of his lips.

"Look... I'm sorry, I shouldn't have lied, but I saved you didnt i? I care about you. I didn't mean for you to get involved like this. I have a lot of enemies and i know i shouldn't have kept things from you-"

"So you admit you were a horrible, deceptive boyfriend?"

His skin is flushed, hands shaking and fumbling- he's clearly frustrated. He scurries closer. A slim thigh presses against yours, his bandaged hands dart out to grasp yours. His touch is frigid, but somehow it makes a heated feeling develop in the pit of your stomach. You can't deny that you're still attracted to him.

"Yes. I know I was, but I love you... We don't even have to date anymore i just- "

He stumbles over his words. A breath catches in his throat.

"I just want you in my life."

Your brain is spinning. You don't know what to do or say.

"I need time to think-"

"That's fine."

Dazai answers immediately- far too eager.

"I'll wait however long I need to. For you."

The delighted expression on his face sends a pleased trickle down your vertebrae. You almost wanted to believe him. Your skin tingles where he's touching you. It's been much too long since you were this close.

Questions you had been pondering for your entire stay pop into your head again. He must know right?

"If you're truly sorry, prove it. The people who took me... Who were they? What happened to them?"

Surprise flashes in his eyes.

"You want to know about them? huh... Well, they were just a small-time gang. Nothing special. And we did with them what we do to all people who oppose us."

Your blood freezes.

"You killed them."

He nods. There's a hardness in his eyes- a deep, dark look. He clearly doesn't regret it.

"I had to... I can't let them get away with something like that, especially not if it's you."

Despite the heavy sensation in your stomach, you're glad. It's horrible, it makes a guilty feeling settle into your bones. You shouldn't be glad someones dead. But what they did was heinous. It's a relief to know they can ever do that again. That Dazai crushed them with all the power of the Port Mafia behind him.

The organization was a hurricane, destroying everything in its path that dared to challenge it. Nothing would be left if they could help it. Everything would bend to their will, whether they want to or not. Everyone in Yokohama knew about it. How that tiny gang figured they could get the boss to fold, was beyond you.

"Are you upset about it? It's not the most savory method... I know you don't like unnecessary violence, but to me it was crucial."

You nod.

"I get it. To be honest, I'm glad."

His lips curl up into a creepy grin. He's clearly not used to smiling but it looks... cute. Unnatural, but cute. You can't help but smile back.

"What about Atsushi? He's not in trouble is he?"

Dazai chuckles.

"No he's not. The only reason he wasnt there is because I called him into my office. Any other time, he would have fought those guys off himself."

"Good. I feel bad for the kid. He has to deal with you."

"Hey! I'm a pretty easy going boss!"

You roll your eyes, waving him off.

"Whatever you say."

His skin is brighter. It doesn't seem to have that dull, gray tone any more. The gauze that used to cover even his fingers, has receded back down to his wrists. Redness paints the fragile skin of his pale knuckles. He stands up, putting his hands on his hips.

"Did you want something to eat? Drink? You must be tired."

"Some coffee is fine. I feel like I'm going to collapse from exhaustion."

He races to the kitchen, like his life depends on it- way too excited for something like making coffee. Never in your career as a barista had you been that excited to serve customers. Within a few minutes, he's back. A cafe latte stares back at you when it's placed on the table. Your favorite, and he knew it. You beam at him.

"Thank you."

"Anything for you."

He's always too greedy for any sort of affection. Too eager to please. Dazai was almost like a child sometimes. A child that had never felt the warm embrace of a lover. Who would forever yearn for more. To pine for someone, anyone to keep him company. It was obvious from the moment he begged you to stay with him just a month ago. It almost made you feel.. pity for him.

A part of you still loved him. He's not easy to forget. Does he even have any friends? Your thoughts are swirling. It's dizzying. You don't know what to do. Maybe it would be best to try again...

Bringing the mug up to your lips, you take a sip. Your tongue burns from the freshly made coffee. It's pleasant.

"Do you like it?"

"Yeah, it's smoother, not so sour. It's way better than last time. Did you practice?"

He nods enthusiastically.

"I wanted to win you over... so I was practicing a lot while we were apart."

That makes you stop in your tracks. It's so sweet but so disheartening to hear. Was all he did the past month simply working towards the goal of getting you back?

"Really?"

"Yes. I was serious. I can't live without you."

You sigh, putting the mug back down.

"Dazai... You can't just revolve your entire life around me. It's not healthy."

He sits right next to you. Personal space is a foreign concept in Dazais mind- he does what he wants, and what he wants now is to drape himself over you, to feel your body against his.

"I know. I can't help it. You're everything to me. I've ever met anyone like you."

"You really feel that way?"

"Yes. Absolutely."

He was crazy. He was definitely completely insane. But he looked so angelic. It shouldn't be possible. If anything, he would be a demon. Something evil that can only be found in the deepest pits of hell. But here, where he's being so genuine and honest for the first time, he's heaven sent.

Without noticing, your face starts leaning closer to his. What would his lips feel like on yours? Would it be the same as last time? You can't turn away from him- your eyes are locked on his moistened lips. Dazai was the same. His eyes darted down, longing for you. a gasp catches in your throat. Anticipation fills your whole body. Time seems to stop. His breath brushes over your skin.

He closes the distance. It's as if he's consuming your entire being. Taking you all for himself. It's difficult to not get completely swept up in him. You thrust yourself against him, deepening the kiss. He responds positively, hands tangling in your hair, practically trying to possess you- mind and body.

When you pull away, craving fresh air, Dazai pulls your right back in. He's greedy. Selfish. He can't stand to go on another second without you by his side. After a minute of him trying to kill you by asphyxiation, Dazai finally manages to feel satiated enough to tear himself from you. Your lungs are on fire, begging for air. He isn't much better- if the heavy breathing and flushed skin is anything to go by.

"So... you'll stay...?"

His inflection is higher than usual, hopeful of what's to come.

"Sure… I'll stay."

[panthrology]

ok first off love the geto fic!!!!! but i was thinking geto checking readers attitude. shes been on one all day and he just is finally over it. (maybe pussy slapping if comfortable with)

hii ‼️ thank you so much, appreciate the love from everyone 🙈☺️ MWAH

context

cw : pussy slapping & brat taming. that's it tbh.

but yeah anon I hear ya. though since suguru's generally on the more chill side, I don't feel like he'd brat tame you in a way that's more hands on..at first.

in fact I think his way of brat taming you is simply doing nothing in your favor until you cave.

I doubt he'd mind at first, simply taking the unnecessary arguments, eyerolls, and snide comments all day. maybe even return your energy back a little.

but as time goes on his patience would thin, and your bad attitude would gradually start to piss him off. love takes patience, he knows that much; but when you bug him about this, or that in an argumentative manner with no valid reason, he finds you difficult to put up with.

especially after that little stunt you pulled last night.

“hey.” suguru interrupts your meaningless rant about him buying almond milk instead of regular milk and blah blah blah. if you really gave a fuck, you would've joined him on the grocery shopping.

“is this what we're doin’ right now?”

the ambiguity of his question makes you falter, meeting his gaze which..seems to be unusually intense.

“what?” your face scrunches up in confusion, “what are you even talkin’ about?”

oh, okay. he tongues the inside of his cheek slightly, it's milk for christ's sake.

“don't be like that. you know damn well that you need to fix that attitude and calm down.”

you scoff, not believing that your attitude is the most irksome.

“yeah, ‘cause my attitude is the biggest problem right now. don't piss me off suguru—you can't avoid and evade with your nonchalance out of this one.”

oh.

okay.

“it's like I gotta discipline you like a little girl, d'you even think about that?”

suguru asks, voice breathless as he watches you from above. arm slung over the back of the couch and you—kneeling between his spread knees and gagging with his cock stretching your mouth. “but I bet you didn't even do that. can't think with dick down your throat, can you?”

he sees the dip in your brow and grins, taking pleasure in the current power imbalance between you both. he could get used to this.

but as you raise your head to argue again, he simply keeps a firm hand atop your head, forcing you to take him down deeper. “..it'd be in your best interest not to argue with me, sweetheart.”

fine, you sharply inhale through your nostrils. if you ignore the sodden panties sticking to your skin—pussy calling for his name in morse code, you think you can soften him up a bit.

you suck him, slowly but surely while your hands stroke where your lips can't reach, your challenging gaze meeting suguru's own.

he keeps his hand firm on your head, lips parted and head tilted back against the sofa, making sure he keeps your mouth fully occupied. his toes curl inwards under his socks when you begin to bob your head, pleasure liquifying his legs.

you make a gargled noise when his bulbous tip nudges the back of your throat, reaching another hand further down—right down to give his balls a gentle squeeze.

“fuuckk—mhmm..you know what I like,” he moans in appreciation before closing his fist around your hair in a makeshift ponytail and yanks you off of him. “alright, enough. get up here.”

that didn't take very long, you think.

wiping your mouth from the spit and his pre, you rise with wobbly knees and plop next to him on the couch. he spreads your thighs in no time at all, kneeling between them. you sigh, sinking into the couch while your lids slip shut. waiting for his touch.

but nothing comes.

when you reopen your eyes, a smug suguru stares back at you and even lets a little chuckle slip. “funny how you just assumed that i’d give you what you want after your poor attitude.” suguru's eyes twinkle with amusement, tracing light touches against the gentle curve of your abdomen. gentle, soft, nowhere near enough.

“god, suguru, please! i said i was sorry.” frustration creeps into your tone, and you toss your head back onto the armrest.

“did you?” that simple question and the look he gives you makes you question yourself, the realisation that you in fact did not hit you like a truck.

shamefully, you avert your gaze. “..sorry.”

yet all you get is a head shake from suguru, lips pursed in a thin line, trace, trace, trace.

“the nerve. all that rudeness ‘n for what? i’m nothing but good to you..”

he trails off, observing the way your skin rises when his feather-like touch grazes your belly button, dipping his fingers lower to tug your underwear all the way down, flicking it off your ankle. “i still don't know where you get the audacity.” he smirks.

your pulse quickens, watching the way his knuckles brush against your inner thigh, going up, up.

you feel it before you hear it—a swift ‘smack!’ against your bare cunt has you whimpering and seizing up. the pain knocks you off your guard, before it bleeds into pleasure, the new feeling making you completely disoriented.

once suguru sees your shocked, wide-eyed gaze, his ego swells and he folds his arms, staring you down as if he were daring you to say anything—to backtalk him again.

beats of silence pass and the weight of what suguru just did barely has time to sink in before he does it again. it's wetter this time and has more momentum. the collision you makes your hips jolt violently, and your legs hike up to your chest as you flinch and cry out his name. hot tears slip from their confines and roll down your cheeks.

suguru, however, is having a time. he brings his hand up to the dim lighting of the room, watching your glistening slick coat his fingertips and palm before he speaks, his tone almost scrutinising.

“of course, you'd get wet from me rightfully putting you in your place. nasty girl,” he purrs before popping two fingers into his mouth, the familiar taste of you flooding his senses.

“sugu—” you choke on a little sob, wiping your tears with the back of your hand. you can still feel the sting right on your clit.

“i'm sorry, i'm so so sorry. won't happen again.”

“yeah, it will. you're not foolin’ anybody here.” suguru rolls his eyes, swiping his forefinger against your swollen nub and your legs jitter at the contact. “y'know this is what happens to brats who can't check themselves, right?” he asks rhetorically.

he meets your gaze. “and I like to think that I have a good girl, who can behave in a way that doesn't have to make me do things like this.”

you nod weakly.

“thats what I know.” he nods once and pulls away. “i'll think about accepting your apology, but that depends on how well you can make me cum.” you hate to hear it. it takes everything in you not to groan or roll your eyes..but your heart jumps at the chance of redemption.

“c'mon then, on your knees pretty.”

© NEPTNSZN 2024 ★ please do NOT copy, repost or modify my pieces, apply credit when necessary.

[mvrkieboo]

Old Bloodhounds

P3 | catch me outside, how bout that!?

Your eyes met Mark's for a split second before he broke eye contact. Mark and you go way back, but shit happened and…and you remember him telling you that you were dead to him. As the queue shortened, one of Mark's friends practically bounced up and down when she got to the counter. Mark lingered behind his friend group, doing his obvious best to ignore your presence and make it seem like you were never really there in front of him.

“Oh my god, AERI! I've always wanted to meet you! I'm Ningning, and I'm from the MPA Faculty.”

“I'm honored! God, you're really pretty—and you're talented too. Wanna take a pic of just the both of us? The rest of you guys can have y/n take your orders first.” Aeri was practically gushing. She always had a soft spot for attractive people.

You watched as she and the girl go over to the back for a quick photo session.

You waved at the rest of the group, albeit a little awkwardly since Mark was a part of them. You picked up a cup and a sharpie, indicating you were ready to take their orders. The pretty girl with short brown hair ordered first.

“I'll have a hot latte with oat milk.”

“Iced americano with less sugar, please. Thank you. ”

“I’ll have a hot mocha with regular milk. You're really cute. Can you also throw in your number?” The guy got two blows at the back of his head while Mark sighed deeply at his annoying ass friend. You grinned awkwardly, trying to act like his friend didn't just hit on you.

Then your eyes met Mark's again.

“Uh, can I get…” When it was Mark's turn to order, his head kinda blanked, and all of his friend group—and you—were looking at him right now. Putting him on the spot.

Shit.

“We actually have tea here. Do you still take it the way you did back in high school?” You asked carefully, knowing that speaking to him so casually would tick him off but he was holding up the line, and his friend that took a picture with Aeri had already returned.

“...yeah. I'll just have that then.”

Mark could see Haechan's eyebrows shot up, while Winter and Chenle just side-eyed him. Mark usually thanks his servers—always. They waited for the thanks to come out, but it never did—and he's even looking to the ground instead of facing you, jaw taut and fists closed. He looked genuinely pissed, for some inconceivable reason. All of his friends looked between you and him, bewildered.

What was his beef with you?

“Okayyyy, whatever that was…Um, can I have a hot latte with regular milk? And if Aeri can also make the latte art for it…” Ningning giggled, glancing at Aeri shyly from under her lashes.

“Sure thing! But no promises though, I kinda suck at it.” Aeri grinned and wrote down Ningning’s name on the cup.

That kinda brought down the tension between you and Mark, thankfully. You let out a deep sigh as you worked on their orders, going to the station and working beside Yangyang. He eyed you up and down before stealing a glance at Mark. You felt his lips near your ears as he whispered.

“Was the breakup that messy? Did you cheat on him with his worst enemy or something?”

You rolled your eyes to the side at his question.

“He’s not my ex, you nosy shit. Get back to work.”

Considering all of you were getting the hang of it, it didn't take up to 10 minutes to finish their orders. You gave them their drinks one by one as Yangs cleaned the station. You were about to hand off Mark's iced sweet tea when Yangyang stumbled and hit you from behind, causing the drink to splash against Mark's jacket. You gasped at the accident.

“Oh, no.” Yangyang muttered from behind you—but suspiciously, he didn't sound too remorseful.

Chenle was glaring daggers at the captain of NCU’s soccer team. Mark was brushing away the cold tea off of his jacket with a frustrated sigh.

“Damn it, this jacket can only be dry-cleaned.” Mark hissed, regretting buying a high maintenance jacket as a broke student.

“Oh my god, we're so sorry. We'll refund you and take it to the dry cleaners ourselves. We'll pay for it too.” Aeri bowed apprehensively.

Mark looked like he was about to reject the offer, but Chenle gripped his shoulder and started to take the jacket off of him.

“Just go with it, Mark. It's the least they can do for you.” Chenle huffed out, glaring at Yangyang who continued to clean their work station with a small smirk on his face.

You seriously wanted to recreate The Simpsons scene of Homer choking Bart right fucking now. You're Homer Simpson and Yangyang is Bart.

Chenle shoved the jacket into your hands and the rest of his group left, with Ningning looking a little upset that her moment with Aeri now ruined. You tilted your face up to the sky and sighed deeply, thanking god that the coffee was about to sell out anyway, even if you did plan to bring the leftovers home. Then you dropped your head to look at the tea scented jacket you were holding.

Fucking Yangyang.

prev | masterlist | next

A/N : why is this story kinda gaining traction *twirls hair*...omg do you guys like me or something ahhhhhh that's so embarrassing hihihihihih

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

• taglist • [OPEN]

@spiderm444rk @morkiee @xiuriii @solvrse @mystverse @bee-the-loser

[pekoehoneyncream]

Captain John 'Bravo Six' Price Headcanons

Part One!

Words: 500~

TW: None (sfw)

Part Two

Okay! Here are the promised headcanons!

The brainrot is intense for these boys rn, so the volume of headcanons kinda got outta hand. I didn't wanna slam y'all with the full 800+ words of headcanons that I've made for Price alone, so I decided that I'll post half now and half later.

That said, Thank you all again for the Huge response my poll got, and without further ado onto the The Headcanons!

His preferred drink is Green Tea with a spoonful of honey. He loves getting to sit, relax, and slowly sip his way through a nice hot cup of tea. If he’s in a rush or just needs to wake up he drinks coffee instead.

Takes his coffee with the smallest bit of sugar and no milk. His team argues that three grains of sugar can't make any difference, but Price insists that he doesn't like coffee straight black, he needs that bit of sweetness. The team once tested him by switching out his coffee for an identical cup of straight black coffee. Price's disgusted spluttering showed them that he can indeed easily taste the difference.

Cannot just sit down and do nothing. Always needs to be doing something. This man is a category five putterer. Just goes about absently neatening up, putting things back where they belong, pulling books forward to be level with the edge of the shelf, squaring papers with the corner of the table, wiping down the surfaces, adjusting his kit so it’s settled properly. He’ll do the same to the team as well. Mindlessly untwisting straps, pulling tight buckles, zipping pouches, pulling down the rucked-up hem of Ghost’s mask, straightening Gaz’s cap, correcting a stray hair in Soap’s warhawk.

The absolute worst at remembering names, constantly asking the team what this or that person's name is. Has a little notebook full of reminders that are only useful to him, the privates and FNGs think he's marking down performance notes, but he's just desperately trying to remember that one rookie's name before they leave eyesight. “Price, this just says ‘Michaels - Red Hat’, do you expect him to always wear a red hat?” “No, but I remember the hat, then I remember the face that was wearing the hat, and that face is Michaels'.” “Price, that makes no sense.” “Give that back and get. Have you nothing better to do? Go on, get!”

Paints his nails. He got a voucher for a free spa day as a birthday present one year, it included hot-rock therapy, mud-baths, a massage, and a mani-pedi. He went into it with a ‘fuck it, when in rome’ mentality and just said yes to everything while he was there. They explained that gel-polish is hardier and longer lasting than regular polish, without being super hard to remove like acrylics, so he went with gel-polish. At the time he just got a clear polish, but these days he does it himself and wears whatever colours he wants to. Has his own polishes and his own little uv lamp and everything. He could die on a mission tomorrow, he doesn't have time for your small minded ideas about masculinity. Before he was Captain of the 141, he actually got written up by a superior, not for wearing polish, but for wearing a nail-polish colour that wasn't a colour that's in regulation.

Loves water. Yes in the staying hydrated sense, but mainly in the swimming sense. He grew up with a creek behind his house and he spent every spare moment he could splashing around in it. To this day his favourite place is the beach, or anywhere with a body of water. A swimming pool is a poor replacement in his opinion, but he'll take what he can get.

Constantly loses track of time in the shower, his personal water bill is consistently exorbitant. When he doesn't have time to spare he sets a timer, when it beeps at 5 minutes it reminds him he needs to actually start washing up, and when it goes off at 10 minutes he forces himself to get out. When he has the time he sets the timer for 30 minutes.

Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed!

If you have any thoughts on the headcanons or ideas you'd like me expand on or things you wanna squeal about or prompts you want me to write PLEASE hit me up! My ask box is open 24/7 and I'd love to hear from you!

PekoeHoneynCream's Masterlist

[peachesofteal]

Sugar daddy AU with Simon Riley where he owns a very big, very controversial weapons manufacturing business. He's a bit morally grey, a bit of a hot head, and a bit more than disgustingly wealthy. Keeps his friends close and his enemies closer. Wears the mask because he's infamous and on a dozen hit lists across the planet.

Maybe he meets you at a dinner where you're the catering server, working your second job of that day, feet dragging across the ballroom while you offer up little hors d'oeuvres on silver platters to the snooty ass guests. He watches you, watching them, your eyes cataloging every part and piece, anticipating their every move as you slide left and right to intercept them. He watches men and women slip you cash as you do them favors, bringing extra liquor from the bar, tracking down car keys from the valet, procuring a back up pair of tights. Interesting, he thinks. Intelligent, resourceful... beautiful.

Or he meets you when he's getting his morning coffee, where you're working your usual five to three, so dead on your feet that you make his order wrong, accidentally giving him half and half instead of oat milk. And, shit. What if he's got an allergy? So you YELL across the cafe at him as soon as you realize your mistake and he startles, before assuring you it's alright. He can't help but notice how the light streams in from the front windows and dances just right across your skin, or your hair, or the way it dances in your irises, your eyes wide with worry.

Maybe he meets you on the street, where you're trying to make the last train to get home after an awful day, but he steps in front of you, and you fall face first. Maybe a bunch of things spill out of your bag, and you burst into tears because you're so frustrated, and he tries to apologize but you wave him off. "Let me at least get you a cab." He tries but you tell him not to bother, that you'll just walk to the next station to get the other connector (that will put you on a very late arrival to home). You're stubborn, and independent, and very clearly do not want some weird man in a skull mask's charity. (Why is he wearing that thing anyway?)

Maybe, he starts making running into you a more regular thing. Maybe he starts to become obsessed with you. Maybe he puts a tail on you so he can learn your habits, your routines. So he can find out where you live, where you work out, what you do in your downtime. Maybe he learns you don't have any downtime, you're scraping along, scrapping out a life by any means necessary. Maybe he learns your apartment building isn't secure, doesn't even have a lock on the main entrance or a buzzer system. Maybe he worries. Maybe he becomes consumed with thoughts of you until he's "running into you accidentally" and asking you to lunch.

Or, maybe he doesn't do that. Maybe he just thinks about you a lot, thinks about you so much that he starts to drop by the coffee shop more frequently, or walks on that same block every day now, or hires that catering company for some frivolous company party. Maybe he tries really hard not to spook you, but fails and then delivers a spectacular apology where he convinces you to come to dinner, just one dinner, so he can make it up to you.

Maybe he plucks you out of working paycheck to paycheck just to pay the rent on your shitty, paper thin ground level apartment in the worse than bad part of the city you live in. And he doesn't want sex, doesn't want to press your body to his bed, doesn't want you to kiss him just because he pays your bills. Maybe he wants you to trust him. He wants you to feel safe with him, because he knows you've never had a second of security in your life. Maybe you fall for him. Maybe it's a slow burn. Maybe you have trust issues. Maybe he falls in love with you. Maybe he does something fucked up. Maybe you're hiding something. Maybe there's angst. (be real it's me there would be angst) Maybe there's a happy ending.

[lovezbrownies]

plsplsplsplslsplpsls Gen x idiot darling 🙏🙏🙏🙏 like trips over everything and grabs the pan out of the oven with their bare hands typa idiot…….. 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

Oomf... forgive me... for being so late... I LOVE YOU!!!

Gen's Masterlist - General Masterlist

Synopsis: Gen with an idiot Darling... That's it.

Gen Ludenhart x GN!Reader

Gen loves you. Beyond that even. But sometimes, you make her doubt how much she loves you. Does she love you enough to tolerate your behavior? Or is it time to hold an intervention? Of course, the intervention would be about your humiliating stupidity, how one small fall turns into a house fire, or how you’d stare into the void when asked a common math question. 

Your lack of… Brains, safe to say was concerning to your wife, so concerning enough she had taken you to the doctor, only to find out that’s just what you are… A moron, a healthy moron, but a moron nonetheless. So knowing that Gen had put many different safety nets around the house, pillows and a small soft mattress laid next to the side you sleep on due to your love of waking up and rolling off the comfy bed to the hardwood floor.

What Gen hadn’t thought of was the kitchen. Well, she did, closing it off and banning you from even nearing it, so how did you get in there, and out with a hot burn all over your arm, “I-I just w-wanted to flip my e-eggs! But I used oil instead of butter to-to be healthy and for some reason, it went everywhere!” That day Gen hadn’t left her office, spending the entire day pondering on the possibility of a Brain Cell Exchange surgery, but of course, that wasn’t possible… Unfortunately.

A recent pastime of Gen’s has become praying, praying to the gods above that you somehow develop what was stolen from you. Intelligence. But yet again, her prayers go unanswered as she listens to the nonsense you constantly spout.

“Hey, uh… my wife…?”

“Yes, dear.”

“Well, I was thinking, maybe we could get some cows, for produce you know?” 

“And what spawned this silly little idea in your head?”

“Well, you know how regular cows make regular milk? We could get a variety of cows! Chocolate cows for chocolate milk, vanilla cows for vanilla milk, WAIT! Strawberry cows! For strawberry milk!!”

“God and heavens above please what have I done to deserve this…”

Grim knows his sister as the woman who hates it when someone proudly states information and corrects them even if it hurts their feelings, yet he sits there, watching his enamored sister look up at the moron sitting on her lap.

[icequeenbae]

Hi I saw that your requests are open! Can I get a scenario of Aphelios and his non celebrity s/o going on a secret date at night in seoul?

Pairing: Heartsteel!Aphelios x Reader

Established Relationship, slice of life, romance, fluff

Warnings: none? This is pretty mellow stuff lol

Word Count: ~1.3k

Author’s Note: Hiii! Thanks for the request, sweetheart! I couldn’t make it any shorter but please enjoy~ These HEARTSTEEL requests are fun haha Here's some bf!Phel for you!

© Please do not copy/ post on other platforms without permission.

‘What are you doing? Phel…’ You lowered your voice, tugging your boyfriend away from the ramyeon stand.

He was way too enthusiastic about you finally having a date, and now tried robbing the CU store of all its instant noodles. While wearing a mask, too. Like a proper thief.

‘We don’t need 10 packs of ramyeon, it’s just the two of us. The members aren’t going to turn up out of nowhere, I’m hoping?’

Aphelios gave you a meaningful look and shook his head. He sure wanted to add something, but his hands were busy holding all the packs.

‘Let me help you with that.’ You said, grabbing some of those to put them back. ‘You don’t even like this flavor.’

After you quickly sorted your selection, he floated past you to the refrigerated shelves. Pointing at the tiny soy sauce eggs, he looked at you for feedback. You nodded and checked what else was there.

‘How about regular boiled eggs too? We can put them in the ramyeon.’

Aphelios eagerly got some of those as well, clearly liking your idea.

‘Should I get a basket for all this?’ You asked, looking at your poor boyfriend, holding all of the food in his two hands.

He shook his head, but you didn’t listen and still got it to make it easier for him.

‘Put them here. And let’s get some banana milk.’

You didn’t have to specify that you liked the light one. He quickly picked out the package with a blue label, adding it to your basket.

‘Do you want some sausage?’ You asked him.

Your boyfriend shook his head, and then tapped onto a plastic container with triangle kimbap, asking you if you wanted one. When you turned it down, he tugged you by the sleeve of your hoodie to the drinks area.

‘You want iced coffee? Isn’t it a little too cold outside for this?’

He seemed unsure.

‘Let’s get more snacks instead?’

After he agreed, you dug through a separate snack section, picking out a few packs that you’d never tried before. Then Aphelios added your favorite grape jellies to your already outrageous variety.

‘If we continue like this, our next stop would be the pharmacy.’ You commented, evaluating the contents of your basket.

Aphelios huffed out a laugh and shrugged, silently saying ‘Who cares?’

You peeked from your spot, making sure there weren’t too many people at the checkout, and led him there quickly. After paying for everything and pouring hot water into your thermos bottle, you had to tear Aphelios away from the ice cream fridge on your way to the door before you were finally on your way.

When out in the streets, you were usually weary of someone recognizing him, so you tried to keep it casual, walking slightly ahead or behind him. Especially in the evenings, when the Seoul streets were quite crowded. However, you chose a workday for a reason – you’d noticed that there were fewer people hanging out early in the week, so this time you managed to make your way to a less packed area for your impromptu date.

Although Aphelios was usually pretty careful about it as well, this time he took your hand in his, making you fall into step with him instead of marching ahead. As you strolled along the Han River, he pointed to a nice empty spot for you to settle on.

‘No neighbors, nice catch,’ you chuckled, and he squeezed your palm playfully as if to say ‘I did well, didn’t I?’

You got a blanket from Phel’s backpack, lay it on the ground and dropped on it victoriously.

‘That’s a nice view,’ you said, watching Aphelios, who stood in front of you, checking out the Han River, which was beautifully lit by the city lights.

He turned to you, ready to agree, and caught you staring at him. He raised an eyebrow in a silent question, and you looked down at the blanket.

‘To each their own.’

Your boyfriend placed the bag of snacks in front of you and sat down, fishing out his phone. He typed something up and pressed the button, which played the sentence in his voice. Something he worked out with one of his buddies.

‘See something you like?’

The artificial voice lacked the degree of sass you knew was incorporated in that question.

‘One could assume so,’ you shrugged, playing it cool.

Both his eyebrows went up, and then he narrowed his eyes, returning to typing.

‘I hope I didn’t misunderstand when you suggested eating ramyeon so late at night…’

You gasped, and he was obviously amused by your reaction.

‘Don’t be naughty.’ You told him, busying yourself with unpacking your food.

He kept watching you intently until you couldn’t take it anymore.

‘What??’

He shook his head, refusing to reply. And as you pouted at him for this, he quickly leaned in, tugging his mask down, and gave you a clandestine kiss. It was a fleeting contact, yet it managed to heat up your cheeks nicely.

Content with the result, he joined you in making your table for tonight, a ghost of a smile still decorating his lips. Oh, he thought it was so cute! He didn’t even have to speak to make you flustered.

You sighed, watching him take over the preparations. He opened the two biggest cups, or bowls, rather, of ramyeon and poured some hot water into them, using chopsticks to hold the lids closed.

‘The eggs,’ you reminded him, and he hurriedly rummaged through a pile of your snacks to find them.

He made an undefinable noise when you tried to take one to help him peel them, so you simply sat back, watching him do it. A few minutes later, your noodles were nice and ready, and so were you. As you opened the lid, you finally grasped how cold you were getting. However pretty the night view of the Han River and the bridge over it was, the cool breeze could not go unnoticed.

You slurped your noodles simultaneously. It tasted really good for some reason – you weren’t sure if that was because of the cold, or the excitement of you being here, or just having Phel’s intimate company… Maybe it was all of those combined? In any case, the hot noodles worked well for you in these circumstances.

But still, Aphelios noticed that you were beginning to tremble and motioned for you to drink the broth too.

‘You too. It’s pretty chilly out here, huh?’ You replied before gulping the warm spicy broth.

He did the same and then put his bowl down, scooting closer to you. Taking the freed part of your blanket, he used it to cover your back and his.

‘Thanks, Phel,’ you mumbled, still chewing your noodles.

He typed up his reply.

‘It’s windier than I thought. Let’s finish our ramyeon and move.’

‘But I like it here…’ You protested. ‘I like our little picnic. You know I don’t get alone time with you that often…’

He chewed on his lip for a few moments and then cocked his head to the side again.

‘What?’ You asked, demanding interpretation.

‘I can hear the clanking of your teeth, babe. I must take you somewhere warm.’

He studied your disappointed face and typed something else.

‘We can still be alone there?’

That sounded a little more promising.

‘We won’t have to break any laws to be alone, I hope?’ You inquired, recalling that one time when he basically hijacked K’Sante’s truck to take you to the seaside.

The mischievous smile on his face told you all you needed to know.

Oh well. If it was worth risking it all with anyone, you’d do that with Phel.

Non-EXO masterlist

Masterlist

A/N: Ahhh, hope you enjoyed this Aphelios scenario~ Please don't forget to comment and reblog if you want to support me 💕 I will take a few more requests, so hurry up and drop an ask if you want me to write some more Heartsteel~

[meowzfordayz]

Author’s Note: this was actually supposed to be a lil nsfw fanfic (Shy!Giyuu turned Needy!Giyuu 😏), but then world building (re: cafe setting) got ahead of me, so yeah. 😆☕️

cafe meet-cute (ugly?)

Tomioka Giyuu x Reader

Word Count: ~1,000

CW: explicit language

cafe meet-cute (cute!)

~faqs~

Shy!Giyuu as a regular at the cafe where you work part time to afford college. He always looks so tired, but manages the faintest of smiles whenever you greet him.

Shy!Giyuu who didn’t really notice when you started working at his favorite spot, but did notice when he found himself hoping you’d be there on his usual, dreary Monday morning, your absence duly noted when he’s met by a monotonous, “Hello sir, what can I get you?” instead of your usual cheery energy.

Shy!Giyuu who makes a point of reading your name tag the next time he sees you. You know his name, so it’s only fair that he finally put in the effort to learn yours. “Thanks, [y/n],” he murmurs, voice thick with sleep. “You’re welcome!” you chirp, and he swears he feels heat emanating from your cheeks. Or maybe he’s leaning in a little too close. Oops.

Shy!Giyuu who, even when he’s in a rush, no longer orders ahead, because then what excuse would he have to chat with you? And when the line is long? He absentmindedly—not absentminded at all—dallies on his phone, ignoring people as they hesitantly creep in front of him, itching for your full attention once the cafe empties out again.

Shy!Giyuu who asks about your area of study, your favorite color, where you got your sweater It looks comfortable, if you’re resting enough 😕 (that slipped out on an especially exhausting day, and he’d promptly turned so pink that you’d politely stammered about needing to check the fridge temperature Can’t let the milk spoil! 😃 as he dropped his tip in the jar and just stared at you).

Shy!Giyuu who asks so many questions you wouldn’t know he was shy. Truthfully, he’s glad his few acquaintances—dare he call them  friends—don’t frequent the cafe too often. He’s certain he’d hear a mouthful from them otherwise.

“You talk to people?!” 🧐 <— Tengen

“They know your order? By heart?! Try something new for once, jeez.” 🙄 <— Obanai

“Seems like someone’s earned special privileges from the pretty barista.” <— 👀 Shinobu, after following a reluctant Giyuu into the cafe and watching him receive a free muffin

Shy!Giyuu who makes things a tad awkward when you eventually write your number for him on his cup (hidden underneath the cup sleeve — he almost misses it 😬). Awkward because he immediately saves your number in his phone, and proceeds to not text you.

Shy!Giyuu who’s never really dated, let alone experienced a ~meet cute, and definitely hadn’t envisioned himself in a sort of cafe-romcom situation. Aka, he’s in a panic (and utterly clueless).

Shy!Giyuu who’s grateful for your professionalism when he comes in two weeks later (he may or may not have been avoiding you, and “you” = his feelings for you), disappointed by the lingering stiffness in your tone, knowing it’s entirely his doing. He still blushes though when you shove a free muffin his way, I’m sorry on the tip of his tongue, fleeing on foot before it can take flight.

Maybe he does like you?! You ponder his behavior that night, lamenting to Mitsuri that, “I gave him my number weeks ago! Do you think he has a partner?! 😳 He must. Fuuuck. 😭 He’s so handsome. 😖 But MITSURI, nobody’s paying him to get to know me???! 🤔”

“Either he’s super bored,” Mitsuri giggles, “Orrr he’s super shy and totally crushing on you!!!!!”

Shy!Giyuu who nervously sets a travel mug of coffee on the counter, gazing away from the confusion in your eyes.

“Giyuu, it’s… already full?”

Shit. You didn’t mean to sound so dumb. 🙃

“It’s for you,” he croaks, face your favorite shade of red, “You make me coffee, like, a lot. So I wanted to return the favor.”

Giyuu, I literally work in a cafe you nearly deadpan I have unlimited access to coffee caught off guard by his gesture.

Internally screaming, actually.

“And,” he’s melting inside. You can practically see the steam billowing from his ears. “I wanted to apologize.”

“For what?”

He’s so close, he can probably hear how fast your heart’s beating. Not good, not good, not good. He definitely has a partner!!!!! Oh fuck, and now he’s here to let me down easy.

“For not texting, telling, you sooner.”

He gulps. You lick your lips. The thought occurs to him that he’d very much like to kiss you.

“You have a partner!” you squeak, exhaling like a deflating balloon, “Of course! Why are you apologizing?! I crossed a line! My bad!”

You nudge the travel mug toward him, so focused on your own embarrassment that you miss his expression falling, taking a deep breath to collect yourself.

“Hi Giyuu!” you hope you’re doing the right thing, starting over, “What can I get you today?”

Shy!Giyuu who, admittedly, turns tail and runs. 💀

Damn.

Shy!Giyuu who goes to class mortified yet… excited, recognizing the misunderstanding that occurred, cursing his lack of communication and deer-in-headlights reaction, eager to make amends. To make you see him.

He has to strongly resist the urge to bang his forehead into the desk.

Shy!Giyuu who recalls how his latte art gradually switched from intricate swans and tulips to hearts. Simple, but cute, and always capable of brightening his mornings.

Shy!Giyuu who realizes that, the first morning you ever created a heart for him was also the morning you gave him your number.

Shy!Giyuu who’s determined to clear the air, and take you on a date. 

Not a coffee date. 😅

I'm 99% likely going to conclude this w/ pt 2 later today (or sometime this week). 😉💙 Update: cafe meet-cute (cute!) aka pt 2.

[sakumasmut]

Pregnant!Fem!Tsumugi x Gn!Reader

I’m not putting this in the main tags I’m too embarrassed. shoot me out back.

tags/warnings: birth denial, pregnancy, lingerie, filming/photos

@iostparadise

You had told Tsumugi months in advance about what you wanted to do when your baby was due. You were worried since even though it was your idea, she was the one carrying an entire child, and you had no idea if she would actually be able to derive any pleasure from the pain she would likely experience, but she had agreed with little to no hesitation. Of course you told her if she changed her mind at any time that you would drop everything and rush her to the hospital, but right now, at the sight of your heavily pregnant wife panting softly on the edge of the bed, legs slightly spread with a large puddle of wetness staining the sheets, you were turned on at the once in a lifetime opportunity to fulfill your wildest fantasy.

“W-Welcome home, /name/.” She managed to speak, though you could tell her voice was strained. A normal spouse would panic at the sight of their beloved wife in any amount of pain, especially labor, but instead you smiled and took your time, hanging your jacket in the closet like you had just come home from a regular day at work. She was still in the same position when you approached, though you didn’t expect her to want to move if the contractions were as bad as people had described.

“Did you wait for me?” You asked while kneeling in front of her, careful to avoid the mess on the floor and looking all over her body fondly.

“Of course, though this little one didn’t want to.” Tsumugi smiled back, hands constantly rubbing her belly. Her exhales came out slow, as if trying to calm the baby that was squirming inside her belly.

“Really now? Let me see how far they got.”

You hiked her nightgown up over her thighs to access the gap between them, sliding two fingers into cunt. She bit back a moan as you did so. Her cervix had definitely dilated, but there were no signs that the baby’s position had progressed much.

“Seems like they’re going to take a while.” You murmured, getting excited at your own words. As if trying to defy you, a series of contractions seized her only a second later, and she squeezed her eyes shut as she moaned in pain, clutching her belly.

“Just breathe, baby.” You hushed, pulling your fingers out and putting your hands alongside her own to give her belly gentle rubs. “I’m here with you now.”

She seemed to be able to relax more with your presence, and when the contractions had settled down she sighed.

“Ah, I should clean the mess I made on the floor.” She commented, and you offered your hand to help her stand up alongside you.

“Before that, let’s get you into some new clothes.” You pecked her lips, retreating for a moment to retrieve a box you had tucked away in the closet for this exact occasion. “I have a gift for you.”

You opened the lid before presenting it to her, and she blushed as she took out what appeared to be a set of lacy lingerie, turquoise in color to match her hair.

“What do you think?”

“It’s lovely dear, but will it fit?”

“Of course. I’ll help you put it on. And I expect that you’ll look so photogenic that I’ll want photos of you wearing it all around the house.”

Your intentions clicked in her head, and Tsumugi blushed even harder as another contraction hit her, knowing she’d be feeling them for as long as you needed her to.

When ordering your gift, you had used the measurements from before her second trimester, when you first got the idea, so of course the lingerie was a tad ill fitting now. Did it stop her from looking absolutely stunning though? Hell no. Her breasts, already large before she got pregnant, had grown even rounder with milk for your child, barely contained by the bralette struggling to hold their weight. Her areolas had darkened, and her nipples were erect and straining against the fabric, the milk leaking from them leaving faint dotted stains on the bra. The thigh high stockings snugly fit her thick, creamy legs, making you salivate at the idea of grasping the area they didn’t cover. The highlight had to be the lacy panties though, pulled up as far as they could go right below the curve of her belly, and already soaked between her quivering thighs. Tsumugi couldn’t even see them when she looked down due to how her belly covered her view, though she got a good glimpse of how she looked when you brought her in front of the mirror.

“You’re so beautiful.” You murmured, taking out a camera that you had inserted a new sd card into, just for this day. “A shame the garter belt wouldn’t fit.”

“Maybe in a few weeks, I can try again.”

You couldn’t help but chuckle at her suggestion. Indeed, if the rest of the set wasn’t ruined by then, you’d love to take more photos of her in the completed one.

“Just stay like that for a moment.”

She obeyed as you held the camera up to your eyes, and a few seconds later the shutter went off. Using a digital camera rather than your phone was intentional. Each second between shots meant another second your baby was kicking to be born, and another second that you could relish your wife doing her best to fight the urge to push and keep them inside. Of course, you did want these photos for the memories of the day your child would be born. But more than that, you wanted to remember how she looked today, to capture her expression when you asked her to move to the living room, and the way she waddled slowly towards the couch, barely able to walk.

She bit back moans with each contraction that rippled through her, rubbing circles on her stomach and trying to ease the pressure off her back by cupping the bottom of her belly to support the additional weight. Her glasses had fogged up from the hot breaths she was exhaling to keep herself composed. Even if she wasn’t pushing, the baby was still moving downwards by itself, albeit slowly.

It was when you tried to get her to stand up from the couch that the evidence of the baby’s movement became clear, the strong force making her knees buckle and sending her back onto the cushions.

“Ah, dear, the-the baby is coming!” She whimpered, legs instinctively spreading far apart even though her panties were blocking anything from coming out.

“Don’t push dear, not until I say so.”

“I-I’m trying, but they want to come out, I—” She cried out again, her clit so swollen that it was pushing against the fabric of the panties. The sight was so breathtaking you wanted to just continue watching her struggle to push your baby out. Still, you took a deep breath and remained calm. You knelt down and held the camera right in front of her cunt, all swollen and red. You fiddled with it before clicking the button, and the light that indicated you were filming began to blink.

“They’re not coming out. Not yet.” You soothed her, gently tugging the lace of her panties aside to peek at the teardrop shape of her labia. You spotted something resembling tufts of hair, belonging to your yet to be born child. Gently, you pressed your fingers against her folds and pinched them together, a whimper coming from Tsumugi as you reset the little progress the baby had made towards the birthing canal.

“That’s it. Deep breaths. We haven’t even taken photos in the kitchen yet, you’ll both have to wait a bit longer.”

You weren’t done recording every single moment of your child’s long, drawn out birth, and Tsumugi wasn’t done with her labour. You were going to keep her in this state of pregnancy for as long as possible. After all, waiting 9 months for the next chance to do this would be too painful for you to bear.

[draftsandrecs]

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Summary: Reader finds herself crushing on her sister’s ex boyfriend after they run in to each other years after the break up.

Word Count: 4,670

Warnings: 18+, smut, no condoms, dirty talk

Taglist: @jbbarnes-dog-tags

‘And substitute regular milk for oat milk please.’ 

You type a quick ‘okay’ to your sister as you head to the coffee shop that you frequent almost every day. Today’s weather is sort of gloomy but nice. Lately it’s been rainy, mild showers and light thunderstorms. Your favorite kind of weather to have a latte while accompanied with a book. You scrub the bottom of your shoes against the coffee’s welcome mat to prevent tracking in mud or leaves. 

“Good morning, welcome to Aristocrats!” You thank the familiar barista as you head to the counter pulling out your phone to order both drinks.

“What can I get you?” The barista asks with a smile on their face.

“Can I get a hot vanilla latte with 2 shots of espresso and oatmilk?” The employee mumbles the order back as they input it into the system as you continue.

“I also would like an iced chai latte with 3 pumps of brown sugar syrup instead of vanilla. As well as one shot of espresso, thank you.” You put your phone away as you get your wallet out from your bag.

“$15.28, cash or card?” The barista asks as you hand them your card to swipe.

You find a few dollar bills stashed in your bag as you drop it into the tip jar.

“Thank you, just give us a few minutes.” Handing you the card back you put it back into its usual spot as you crumble the receipt into the bag.

One of the reasons why you love this coffee shop isn’t just for the drinks but the book collection they have along with the scenery. It’s located downtown with windows that face the street that pour in natural light. The owner kept most of its natural architecture. Which included the layout, windows that surround the building on two walls, as well as the little fireplace that runs on cold days. 

As you wait for the drinks you browse a few magazines near a table before you find one that peaks your interest. You situate yourself near a bar in front of the front facing windows to take advantage of the light that projects in. You flip through the first couple pages not caring for the luxurious ads of Gucci or Louis Vuitton. You never understood why anyone would spend thousands on a bag. You ignore the bell above the door that signals a customer as you continue reading about a woman’s divorce and her advice. While you have never been married it’s interesting to read about people’s lives.

“Here you go, hot vanilla latte and an iced chai.” The barista sets the drinks down as you reply with a thank you. 

You look towards the counter as you spot a man ordering. Something along the lines of an americano. Typical. Men never go for good drinks. Reaching for your drink you realize you forgot a straw. Getting up you head to the side of the counter to grab one. As you begin to reach for one another, one hand is trying to grab a cocktail straw for their drink.You quickly retreat your hand back apologizing. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t see you there.” You say, embarrassed as if you were in his space. 

“No troubles, you’re fine.” You turn to him finally getting a good look at him as he does the same.

“Oh shit, hey kid. How’ve you been?” It’s Bucky, your sister's ex-boyfriend. His eyes light up as he smiles at you. Like he’s excited to see you. 

“I’ve been good. I finished up my last semester early. In December I graduated well. I didn't walk but I received the diploma which is just as good.” He crosses his arms as he listens to you furrowing his eyebrows that he always used to when listening intently.

He smiles as he lightly pats your upper arm in congratulations, “Hey that's great, really, you find any jobs or anything yet?” 

“No, I mean I have but the pay is so shit that it’s not even worth it.” He nods understanding the job market has plummeted. 

“I get that, if I hadn’t secured the job I have now a few years ago I probably would be back in school not knowing what to do.” Bucky came from an affluent family. His family always had money due to businesses, properties, and of course trusts and estates. His comment comes off a little tone deaf but you know he means well just trying to relate.

“Thanks,” he says as he grabs the drink from the barista as he begins adding a little packet of heavy cream.

“You stay around here? Or often?” He questions out of curiosity but also a small part of him hopes you say yes.

“Oh yeah. I moved back in with my parents after college. I mean- I don’t have a job so I really had no choice.” You hope you don’t sound like a complete fool of yourself. No job, living with parents, and your daily activities consist of getting coffee and reading.

“You’re still figuring it out, there’s no time limit.” His words comfort you, making you feel less alone. Even if he can’t exactly relate, it’s still nice to have someone understand your struggles.

Bucky continues to ask, “If you got a few minutes, you mind if we sit and catch up?” You smile and nod, letting out a small yes as you lead him to your little nook.

You're laughing at some story he’s telling from a recent event he went to where a kid found drawing on the walls of an art exhibit. 

“Oh no, did the parents do anything?” You ask taking a sip of your mostly watered down chai.

“God no, remember these people think that their kids can do no wrong. Instead the dad threw him over his shoulder as they left quickly.” His answer made you shake your head wondering how parents never discipline their children.

“What have you been up to? Last thing I heard you were supposed to be taking over the family business.” The family business was just that- business. It was just managing properties, selling, and trading. But it brought in so much revenue. It’s the most popular realtor company in the state along with locations in neighboring states. It was started in the 40’s by Bucky’s great great grandfather and has now succeeded multiple generations.

“I have, well not entirely. I told my dad that I wanted to travel some first before settling with the job. Once you’re in that position all you can do is live for work, live to work. It just seems exhausting.” He sighs as he runs his hand through his short hair.

“You know I have a degree in Architecture, and I want to put that to use but my dad keeps pressuring me to take over the business. The money is good-

You cut him off,“But is it worth it? Money is great but if you aren’t happy with your job or what you do, no amount of money can compare to your happiness.” 

“Yes, exactly. I’ve been sort of going back and forth on it but maybe I just need to go with what I want rather than what someone else wants.” Saying the quiet part outloud made Bucky realize that he wants to do what makes him happy regardless of money or fortune.

“You know you’re pretty insightful for your age. I wish I was like that when I was in my early 20s. But you seem so grounded. That’s very admirable Y/N.” The compliment causes your heart to skip a beat. You usually don’t get too many compliments, especially not on your mental or emotional intelligence.

“Thank you, it’s probably the books and because I’m the youngest child.” Your sister and you have a 10 year age gap that didn’t really help form a sibling relationship until you entered high school.

You weren’t planned which resulted in a little bit (a lot) of negligence from your parents. They had albums of pictures of her, always went to her events, and constantly doted on her. You were the youngest and the last. You were often thought of last. If you wanted them to make it to your events, school lunches, or any activity they'd send your grandparents. Which you became very close with at a young age because they noticed the difference between you and your sister. They never made you feel like a burden or second thoughts. You’ll always be grateful for that. Your parents apologized to you when you were older but the childhood trauma still stuck. 

“I forgot you guys did have an age gap. I guess it’s more noticeable when you were younger.” His comment glides over, not caring to bring up your sister, his ex-girlfriend. Which you’re kind of happy about since he asked to catch up with you and he genuinely meant it. 

 Before he can get another word in your phone lights up, your sister is calling. 

“You need to get that?” Bucky asks, noticing the screen.

“Yeah probably.” You sigh internally knowing that the coffee catch up is ending soon.

You swipe on the screen as you hold up a finger to give you a second.

“Where are you? It’s been an hour, I thought you said you were just getting coffee, not running errands.” Her voice is a little upset and can be heard by Bucky which makes you cringe a little.

“I’m sorry, I ran into someone and wanted to catch up.” Yeah her ex who you seem to be getting along with a little too well.

“It’s fine. I just didn’t know where my coffee was. Or you.” The last part was thrown in quickly to save herself. You know she doesn’t mean to be rude but that’s just how she can be.

“I’ll be home soon, sorry for taking so long. I didn’t realize how long I was out.” You really didn’t mean to take so long but the conversation lasted longer than expected.

The phone beep indicates a hang up as her reply.

“I’m sorry, I guess I got to go. But it was really nice seeing you again.” You stand up to gather your belongings.

“I really enjoyed it. I had a nice time, I really needed it.” Bucky meant what he said. It had been a while since he had a genuine conversation that wasn’t about work or mundane questions.

“Maybe we can catch up again, I mean I obviously don’t work so I’m always free.” You're hopeful that he’ll agree instead of it just being a one time occurrence.

“You have my number still? Or can I get yours?” You shake your head not remembering if your phone transferred his contact from the last time you updated it.

 He grabs his phone to unlock it and lets you type in your number. Once you save your contact you head towards the door,“I got to run, but like I said just message me whenever you’re free. I can always make time.” I can always make time for you is what you wanted to say but bit your tongue instead. 

“For sure, I’ll text you soon.” He promises as he watches you walk out of the small coffee shop knowing he’s already forming a liking to you. 

It’s been a few months since you ran into Bucky at the coffee shop. Since that day you guys had been messaging non stop. Which quickly turned into late night phone calls that made your stomach hurt from laughing and cheeks sore from smiling. You only get together once a week since he’s still helping his dad and it took up most of his day. But he never fails to call or message you throughout the day to let you know what he’s up to. You’ve learned a lot from each other these past few months. He loves classic cars, museums, and fashion. He doesn’t care much for the bars but will go when his friends plan to. He designs a lot and is great at drawing too. He enjoys taking you out to museums, botanicals, and lately since the weather is better he’s taken you on hike trails. In return you’ve introduced him to books you enjoy and have started listening to audiobooks together. You’ve also found out how to make your own coffee. Bucky has an espresso machine in his condo that he never used. But together you guys figured out how to make your favorite drinks. Though you still go to the same coffee shop for convenience. It’s been a week since you’ve hung out and you expect a hangout session is due.

It’s morning when you get an unexpected call from Bucky. You answer without hesitation excited to hear his voice.

“Hey, what’s up?” You ask as you sit on your bed anticipating his message. 

“What are you doing?” He sounds like he has a smile on his face, which you picked up quickly through the phone calls how his voice and facial expressions match.

“Nothing, just at home.” You look over at the clock next to you flashing 9:52 a.m.

“Would you be opposed to packing a bag and going to the next state over?” At first you thought he was joking until he said “you there?”

“No, I mean yes that sounds fun.I’d love to tag along” You say quickly gathering yourself. 

“Perfect. I can be there in an hour. Just got to drop off a few things for my dad and I’ll be on the way. You won’t need much, just a few things to last a night or so. Oh and pack a nice dress, I want to take you on a date.” Your heart flutters at the word date, he hadn’t used that word yet, neither have you. It was sort of a weird territory but this solidified there is more. 

“Sounds good, I’ll see you then!” You hang up letting the phone fall on the bed as you rush to get ready and pack looking forward to the night. 

You arrived around a little after 3 in the next state. But since you couldn’t check in until 4 o’clock Bucky showed you a few places around the city. You ventured into antique shops, locally owned book shops, and of course you had to try a coffee shop. He offered to buy you whatever you wanted and insisted that you had to pick out at least one thing that he could buy you or else you couldn’t leave the store. You opted for a few books (it was five in total of hardcover books you could never find near you and were too expensive to order online). He seemed pleased to be funding your reading addiction. 

You check your phone’s time making sure you’re not late getting ready. Bucky said to be ready by 6:45 and you’re cutting it close at 6:30 trying to finish a few makeup touch ups.  And you haven’t even gotten dressed yet. Bucky left the room an hour ago so you could get ready in private. He didn’t want to intrude on your space saying that ‘I know how women are. My mom always enjoyed getting ready alone because she didn’t want to feel rushed.’ He was right, if he was in the same room you’d feel like you would have to get ready quickly. 

You curse trying to get your heels ons as you lace up the second heel trying to secure it as much as possible so you wouldn’t fall. As you’re finishing up and repacking your makeup to clean up the area the door clicks open as Bucky walks in. You turn to him hoping he likes it. It’s nothing extravagant to you compared to their style. It’s a black strapless elongated dress tailored to your height. A narrow slit starts from the upper thigh opening towards the bottom. 

“Wow, you look incredible. I mean not that you don’t always look good but today, tonight you just look exceptional.” You try not to smile at his words but fail. It’s the first time you’ve ever seen him flustered. 

“Thank you, is this too much? It’s my old winter formal dress but I didn’t have time to get a new one.” You hope your attire suits the restaurant dress code. The last thing you want to do is embarrass yourself in front of him.

“No, you look perfect. It’s perfect.” He’s matching with black slacks, sweater, and a long peabody coat. 

“I can say the same for you, I like the monochromatic look. It suits you.” Your comment makes him smile as it means a lot coming from you. 

“I wanted to look my best for you.” He checks his watch, noticing the time,”we should probably head down. The valet is waiting for us.” He holds out his hand as you accept it.

The waiter sat you at a booth per Bucky’s request. You’re glad to sit to relieve pressure off your feet. You only walked a little but the heels are skinny and feel like they’re stabbing your feet. Bucky orders drinks for you as you look at the menu. It’s limited but that’s how most fine dining restaurants operate.

“I want you to get whatever you want. My treat.” You don’t say thank you this time. “Don’t worry, I will.” Your reply comes out teasingly creates a smirk on his face knowing that you’re comfortable around him and letting him treat you accordingly.. 

The finished entrees have been pushed to the side leaving waiting to be picked up as you listen to him talk about this week's work load. Your phone interrupts him mid sentence as a message comes through from your sister. He doesn’t mean to pry, it was in the middle of the table after all.

“Do you need to get that?” He asks politely knowing that he’d give you all the time you needed.

You check it before answering him.

‘Hey, just checking on you, hope you’re doing okay. It feels like we haven’t talked in a little bit.’ For a second you feel bad. But you also know she only comes around when you don’t make plans or reach out first. You are always chasing and you hate forcing things, especially familial ties. It’s also not just that, that makes you feel bad. You’re sitting across from her ex-boyfriend who she dated for 4 years who she thought she was going to marry. Given it’s been two years since they’ve broken up. Now you’re sitting here wondering if you should leave for her sake or stay for what your heart wants. 

“No it’s fine, just something with my sister.” He must’ve noticed your demeanor change as he grabs your hand from the table. He rubs his thumb across your hand soothing you. 

“I get it, this situation isn’t ideal nor normal in a sense. It’s confusing, conflicting. Like you're questioning yourself what's right and wrong or too far. If you want me to take you home tonight and never speak again I understand. But I will say regardless of what happens after tonight. It’s up to you. It’s your feelings I respect ultimately. But I want you to know, I’d regret it if I don’t at least try. Because even though it’s only been a few months since we reconciled, I finally got to know someone that I have never met. Emotionally and mentally you captivate me in a way no one else has. Someone that actually listens to me, understands me, and wants me for me, not for what I have. I would be a fool not to chase someone like that regardless of who they're tied to.” He takes a small breath before finishing, “I don’t want to imagine a life without you. If it’s not you then I don’t want anyone. Above all I don’t want to walk away from tonight without telling you how I feel. What I feel is you, you make up my thoughts, I see you in my future.  I’d do anything to prove that love I have for you. Even if it means allowing you to walk away tonight. Because you’re the most important thing to happen to me in a long time. The last thing I’d want to do is hurt you or make you choose something you aren’t ready for. I’m here for you even if you walk away, I’ll always come to you if you need me.” 

His eyes are a little teary as he cups your hand with both of his hands and kisses it. 

“You don’t have to make up your mind right n-” He’s cut off by you.

You interrupt him as you lean closer to the table with a shaky breath.“I don’t want to live a life I regret. Especially regretting someone that I could have a life with but chose not to out of fear or for someone else's feelings. I don’t know where life is supposed to lead me but I know I want it with you. Most people follow through with decisions based on what’s most logical but I choose my heart. And my heart wants you.”  

He leans over the table as you meet him halfway to kiss him. Letting his lips envelope yours, soft and plump like you imagined. It’s sweet and gentle like him. You pull away from the short kiss wishing it lasted longer but you’re also in public. 

“So you for sure don’t want to go home?” He asks one more time knowing your answer.

“Not unless it’s with you.” 

No words are exchanged as you’re sitting on the edge of the bed, one of your legs is on his shoulder as he takes off your shoe. As he unties the last heel he kisses from your ankle to your thigh. Moving upwards to the wetness between your thighs. You lay back on the bed allowing for more access. He kneels on the floor, grabbing your ass and pulling it closer to him for better positioning. Your dress is pushed up, bunched around your waist as he pulls your panties off. He throws them to the side discarding them. You feel his breath on your pussy for a second before he kisses it. He gives the mound and lips little kisses teasing you as you wait for him to give you more. Shivers run down your spine as you feel his tongue on your slit. He flattens it to cover the whole area, licking a few times. Savoring the taste of you. He takes your swollen clit into his mouth to gently suck on. You can feel your clit pulsate as his tongue teases the little nub. Flicking it  and rubbing it in a circle with his tongue. Causing your hands to find his hair as you grip it and grind against his face. His hand reaches between your thighs as he rubs the soft skin gently before he runs two fingers over your wet pussy. A moan escapes your mouth as you feel his hand on your wet cunt. Once his fingers are wet, he uses one finger to open you up. Allowing you to get used to the feeling before he adds another. Another finger joins the first stretching you. It gives you some relief as you rock yourself on his fingers a little as he begins to lap at your clit. Tonguing the nerve as he finger fucks your small hole.

“Your fingers feel so good.” You moan gripping his hair.

He removes his face from your pussy, “you taste amazing. Just as I thought” He gets back to his feet to lean over you as he begins to furiously fuck you on his fingers. You’re cursing at him as he continues, loving the sounds you’re making and faces you make when you’re being pleasured. You place your fingers on your clit as you feel yourself getting close. Rubbing circles and other motions to aid in relief. You’re begging him at this point whimpering knowing how close you are. He adds one more finger stretching you beyond belief knowing that you can take it

“You’re taking my fingers so well I can’t imagine how good it’ll feel on my dick.” . He says as he guides you while you’re cumming. Letting you know how good you are and how pretty you are. 

He waits a few more seconds before he pulls out his fingers leaving you empty. He gets off the bed to take off the rest of his clothes, swiftly undoing his buckle and pants to reveal a very prominent hard-on. You move closer to the headboard to get more comfortable as you wait for his return.

“I don’t have a condom. I wasn’t planning on having sex.” He’s on the bed again rubbing his cock trying to relieve the pressure.

“I don’t care, I just want you inside me.” Your voice is needy as he grins before he’s quickly in between your legs again. 

He rubs his cock up and down your slit. Letting the juices coat the tip. He teases the clit for a second until you whine wanting him inside you. He lines his cock up at your entrance with one hand letting the tip slowly enter. He looks at you, watching your face to make sure he’s not hurting you. You gasp as he slides in, his length completely filling you up.

“You doing okay?” You nod as he waits for a second before moving.

His thrusts are gentle to not hurt your cervix. He knows his size is above average and easy to bruise if too rough. He leans down to kiss you, one hand on your hip, the other on your face. His kiss is hungry and rough compared to his thrusts. 

“I’ve been waiting for this. Dreaming about this.” He says moaning into your mouth.

“I know, I’ve cum to you so many times.” You confess.

“I can’t count the times you’ve made me hard by just being next to you.” His pace quickens up which makes you grip his biceps.

“Fuck.” You draw out the word as he continues pounding.

He grabs your legs, bending your knees to your chest. This position leaves you completely folded, breathless, with how deep he is. 

‘Fuck you’re so big Bucky.” You say throwing your head back.

“Maybe your cunt is just too tiny then. Maybe I just need to keep stretching you out then so you don’t forget who you belong to.” He leans his head down to watch his cock retreat in and out of your hole. Mesmerized by the wetness glistening on his cock. 

He bites his lip as he slowly pulls out almost all the way, just to thrust back in. He loves watching your face as he’s inside you. Your little sounds and whimpers almost send him over the edge entirely with how sweet you are. You move your hips against his cock, meeting his thrusts. You’re so wet you can’t even tell if you’ve already cum or not. Sweat is building up on his forehead as you watch him pound into you. You know he’s close by the erratic thrusts.

“Where can I cum?” He asks, needing an answer quickly or else he’s about to make you a milf.

“Inside me. I’m on birth control.” He moans leaning down to kiss you as his thrusts speed up and his body shakes. Your walls grip him tightly as he spills his seed inside of you. Filling your cunt until it’s dripping.

Once he’s finished he gets a warm rag to clean you up. Letting the warmness soothe your now aching core.

“I love you” Bucky says as he doesn’t care to look for a ‘right time’ anymore.

“I love you too.” You really do.

[schrijverr]

I Didn’t Mean to Say I Do, but I Do. I Do. 1

Chapter 1 out of 50

Years before joining the 118, Buck’s travels take him to El Paso, where he meets Christopher. When Eddie comes back from Afghanistan and Shannon leaves, Buck ends up staying. As bills pile up, the best move is for them to get married, just for convenience, they’ll divorce when Eddie comes back from his re-enlistment.

Then Eddie gets injured and it’s just easier to stay married for a little longer, while Buck gets started at the 118. However, Buck doesn’t mention his ‘husband’ and kid, not feeling like they’re his to keep, so when Eddie gets the offer from Bobby, they decide to lie and pretend they don’t know each other.

The whole lie gets out of hand as feelings start to become real, until it all comes to a head when the fire engine explodes.

On AO3.

Ships: Buddie (slowburn), Buck x Shannon (temporarily)

Warnings: referenced emotionally abusive parents, insecurity

~~~

Chapter 1: Prologue, Evan

Evan meets Shannon on a Thursday. He has been working on the Johnson farm for a while already, but he’s usually on the actual farm instead of the small store they have. It’s a chicken farm. They mostly sell to big retailers, but people also buy eggs directly from them.

It’s not a regular hours thing, most just wander in, knowing the Johnsons well enough to just call out and wait until someone comes to help them. No one locks their doors in these parts, something Evan has had to get used to, but he likes it.

Today, the Johnsons are off visiting relations and have left Evan in charge for the week. He is quite proud of the trust they have in him.

He’s out in the back when he hears the front door open and a young, feminine voice call out: “Mrs. Johnson? Are you home?”

Evan pokes his head in, grinning when he spots the person the voice belongs to. She’s attractive, brunette with bangs, a pretty yellow sundress and something in her tired eyes that speaks of a life of mischief. He greets: “I’m no Mrs. Johnson, but I’m more than willing to help. I’m Evan. What can I do you for?”

“Oh, I’m Shannon,” the woman – Shannon – introduces herself after she worked through the surprise of him appearing.

“Hi, Shannon,” he says, not minding that she didn’t answer his question, because that just means he gets to talk to her more.

“Hi,” she replies, ducking her head and blushing. Evan can’t help but preen at that. This town hasn’t had much in form of entertainment, but a job for funds so he can continue on with his travels one day is nothing to sniff at. Still, this is a nice change of pace.

“So, are you here just for Mrs. Johnson’s company or can I be a substitute?” he asks, giving her his most charming smile.

That makes her laugh. “I actually came for some eggs, but I wouldn’t mind some company, if you can spare the time.”

“For a beautiful lady such as yourself, I can spare all the time,” Evan tells her. “Coffee? Or more a tea person.”

“Definitely coffee,” Shannon says with a smile.

“Alrighty,” Evan grins cheekily, giving her a wink as he goes to make them coffee.

Soon, he’s putting down two steaming mugs as he sits down across from her at the table. She takes it with a sugar, but no milk. He waits until she has taken her first sip and smiled at him, before he asks: “So, is your egg shopping trip always a social call, or am I just special?”

When he asks that, she sighs, her demeanor changing as she slumps into herself slightly, looking less lively than she had been earlier. “Buying eggs is my only social call,” she tells him. “Being a single mom will do that to you.”

Evan grimaces sympathetically at that. He has never had a child, but he was one and his two parents together had it rough raising him and Maddie, it must be hard doing it by yourself. “There isn’t anyone?”

Shannon chuckles humorlessly. “There are my ex-in-laws, but they’re only concerned with judging me and telling me I’m a terrible mother and a terrible person. Like I didn’t already feel like that when serving my ex-husband with divorce papers while he’s in Afghanistan.”

He is learning a lot about Shannon in a pretty short time and he can feel his eyebrows creeping up his forehead. Not in judgment, just surprise at all she’s sharing.

Embarrassed Shannon hides her head in her hands as she groans: “I am so sorry, I totally didn’t mean to dump all that on you. God, I’m such a mess. You must think I’m a mess.”

“It’s okay,” Evan assures her, meaning every word. “You obviously needed to get that off your chest.”

“Ugh, you’re so nice about it too,” Shannon groans again. “First actual person outside Mrs. Johnson that I talk to and I’m totally awkward, but you’re totally nice. Just my luck.”

“I’ll take it as a compliment,” Evan grins at her. “I used to be a bartender in Peru before I got here, I have the whole ‘open up to me’-vibe down. It’s actually quite nice to listen to other people’s problems.”

At that she perks up. “Peru?” she asks. “What were you doing out there? And why on earth would you come here after that?”

He shrugs easily: “I’m trying to find myself, I guess. Didn’t do that in Peru, so I’m trying here.”

“Is it working?”

“Not really,” he laughs.

“I could’ve told you that. Here is where you lose yourself,” she jokes, though she trails off at the end, voice becoming melancholic once more.

“Well, I don’t mind being a little lost, if I’m doing it with you,” Evan replies, putting on his best flirting voice. She seems into him and he’s been craving some sort of interaction with anyone.

Mrs. Johnson can be kind of motherly, but she more smothers and judges, and there are some of the neighboring teens that help with collecting eggs in the mornings, but it’s not what he’s searching for.

He wants to have some fun, a bit of closeness, even if it’s just for a few minutes. He’s already lost, like he said and he wouldn’t mind getting lost in her instead of his own head. He truly thought the whole traveling thing would do more for him, but it hasn’t filled that empty void that is left by Maddie telling him to go all by himself.

Indeed, she is into him. She tucks her hair behind her ear and gives him a glance through her lashes as she smiles shyly at him. “You’re a charmer,” she tells him.

“I try,” he smirks.

“As much as I would love to flirt some more with you – and trust me, I really do – I can’t. I haven’t found the time to shower in like a week, so I’m gross and sweaty and I’m pretty sure my dress has spit on it. Plus, I need to get home soon, before I am deemed even more of a horrible mother, so I really can’t,” she tells him, a little too honest but entirely apologetic. “My moment to myself for this week is almost over.”

Evan feels sad at that, both for her and himself.

He’s actually quite enjoying their talk. It’s weird how much he likes to hear about the lives of others, even if they’re not great. Like, if he can absorb enough of others, give a listening ear, some comfort, he can feel better himself, give something to the world and hope it’ll give something back to him one day.

But he also feels sad for Shannon. He doesn’t know her well, he actually barely knows her at all, but it is clear she’s struggling. She doesn’t have a partner to help with her kid and it seems there is no one in her corner. This egg run is the only thing she has that is hers and even that is brief.

“Well,” he starts, getting up as she does, “I am more than happy to pack your eggs. On me. And if you need another moment to yourself, you can always come and seek me out. I’m more than happy to flirt with you some more or hear about your divorce and your horrible ex-in-laws.”

“Really?” she chuckles, as if she thinks he’s joking.

Completely sincerely, he answers: “Really. Plus, I love kids. If you ever want to bring yours, I’d love to meet them.”

“You do?” Now she sounds surprised, but hopeful.

“I do,” he assures her. “What’s your kid’s name? How old are they?”

“His name’s Christopher,” she answers. “He’s three.”

“Sounds adorable,” Evan smiles.

“Maybe you’ll meet him one day,” she says and it’s the best maybe he’s gotten in a while.

“I’ll look forward to it,” he tells her, before clearing his throat and asking: “So, how many eggs may I gift you with, my lady.”

She giggles at that, the gesture making her look youthful and more carefree than she is. She tells him she needs six, he gifts her eight, winking that it’ll be their secret. They say goodbye and as she goes, he waves at her, hoping he’ll see her again.

He doesn’t hold out much hope, no one ever seems to come back for him. However, next Thursday, he finds her there again, this time calling out for him, instead of Mrs. Johnson.

It becomes their thing, the Thursday egg chats.

Evan learns more about Christoper, who she tries to care for, even though she feels like she’s drowning. He learns about Helena and Ramon, the ex-in-laws, who hover and scold and are itching to rip her baby away from her. And he learns about Eddie. Eddie, the ex-husband.

The way Shannon talks about Eddie surprises him. With how her relation is with her ex-in-laws and the fact she divorced him while he is deployed, he expected some resentment, or ill words for the father of her child. Especially when Evan is the only person she talks to, who doesn’t know him and isn’t automatically in his camp. But that isn’t the case.

Instead, she paints a picture of a boy, who had convinced himself he loved her, but who she couldn’t believe, because he kept running. He tries to be a good father, a good husband, over video calls, but she can tell he cares more about Chris than her and she just can’t. She couldn’t. So, she left, but she can’t go. She is still here, still stuck with Chris and her horrible ex-in-laws.

He expected more resentment for the man that got her pregnant at eighteen and a mom at nineteen and then trapped her in this town, but she just feels bittersweet about how it ended. That it had to end. That they couldn’t have the future together that they wanted.

During this visits, they keep flirting, never going any further. Shannon doesn’t have the time to have a quick fuck somewhere and with Mr. and Mrs. Johnson returned, Evan also doesn’t really have a place to offer, unless they wanna risk getting caught in the hay loft. Neither of them are too old for it, but both don’t wish to face Mrs. Johnson like that.

So, it’s just flirting, just fun.

Evan misses the physical closeness of sex, but he has also missed the emotional closeness of a friendship and what he has with Shannon is an actual friendship. A flirty friendship, but a friendship nonetheless.

It’s quite nice to have that connection. Makes staying in El Paso better than it had been when he first got stranded here. He likes what he and Shannon have. She gets him like no one else here gets him.

She’s a transplant like he is, she doesn’t fit in this small town where everyone knows everyone and every bit of personal business is town business. She doesn’t think this town is where her entire life should be, for her it’s a stop, much like it is to him. When they have the means, they’re going to get out of here and they might not know exactly who they are or where they’ll go, but they know that there is more than this, that they can be someone. Someone that matters.

Therefore, he is more than happy to have this connection with her, to make her laugh and make her feel her age and let her forget about everything for a few minutes.

This changes two months into their little arrangement. It’s Thursday, so Evan is hanging around the front of the farm more than usual, waiting for Shannon under the watchful eyes of Mrs. Johnson.

She usually gets there between breakfast and lunch, but lunch has already come and she hasn’t shown up yet. Of course, she is allowed to deviate from her normal schedule and it’s not like she promised to come, but Evan still worries.

So, maybe he is looking around for her, not doing his job as well as he should and maybe he perks up when she shows up, hurrying her way as he grins: “Shannon!”

He notices she startles at his voice, looking at him in wide eyes as if she’d been trying to avoid him seeing her. He then also notices she is carrying a small boy. Christopher, his mind supplies. Unsure of how to act, he slows down slightly, looking at the boy. He is adorable with little curls on his head and thick glasses strapped to his face. Unable to help himself, he smiles at him and says: “And you must be Christopher.”

Shannon looks surprised now, then a little apprehensive. “You don’t mind that I brought him? I couldn’t find a sitter and Ramon and Helena are out of town. A cousin’s wedding.”

“Of course I don’t mind,” Evan says, turning to Christopher again and slightly raising his pitch: “How could I mind meeting such an adorable little guy, huh? You’re helping your mom out today, buddy?”

Christopher smiles up at him, bright and filled with joy in the way only a child can. A little clumsily, he says: “Hello.”

“Hello,” Evan says back. “I’m Evan.”

“Evan,” Christopher repeats.

“Yeah, that’s right! Good job,” Evan grins. He gives Shannon a look: “So, the speech therapy helping like you’d hoped?”

Shannon is just staring at him like he’s crazy, blinking into the present when she’s addressed as she quickly says: “Uh, y- yeah, yeah it is.”

“Are you okay?” he asks, frowning slightly.

“I’m fine, thank you,” she laughs awkwardly, tucking her hair behind her ear with her free hand. “I- it’s just that you’re really good with him.” She bounces Christopher, who giggles at the action. “Most guys think they’re into the whole mom thing until they actually see the kid.”

“It’s that why you haven’t brought him before?” Evan asks, slightly offended. He can’t believe she thought he’d drop her if he actually saw the kid. He has listened to her bitch about her divorce, why would that be okay, but meeting this ray of sunshine not?

The guilty look in her eyes tells him the answer to that, but out of her mouth comes: “No, of course not, this little guy just used to nap before. He’s, uhm- he’s grown out of that now.”

Evan eyes her suspiciously, but doesn’t want to pick a fight in front of the kid. So he just ignores her and smiles at Christopher again, cooing: “Well, aren’t you all grown up,” much to the boy’s delight, who kicks his legs making Shannon wince when she gets hit by a stray foot.

She looks tired, her smile slightly forced. Evan immediately feels a little guilty about snapping at her, even if the sting of rejection is still fresh on his skin. As a peace offering, he says: “Want me to hold him so you can properly pick the eggs you want? I’m sure Christopher would love to meet some of the chickens.”

Indeed Shannon gives him a grateful look as she hands Christopher over. He looks a little apprehensive about being thrust into the arms of this new guy, but with his history of physical therapy and being behind in the walking department, he is more than used to it and settles in pretty quickly when Evan sends him a big grin.

That afternoon they don’t flirt, but Shannon does stay longer than she normally does.

Evan introduces Christopher to some of the chickens, holding his sides as he kneels behind him so he can stand on wobbly legs and let the chickens peck at him. He watches him giggle as his heart melts, uncoordinated hands trying to pet the chickens that get scared off, until Evan catches one and holds it with one arm as he guides Christopher’s hand with the other, so he can actually pet him.

Shannon drifts among the chickens with an empty carton for her eggs, picking out her own as she hums under her breath. Sometimes she looks back at him and Christopher, smiling when he catches her eye.

It’s nice in a different way, Evan thinks.

Shannon keeps to herself, which is a little bit of a downer, but Evan can’t blame her. This is her moment alone, but now Christopher is also with her. He is a bright boy, managing to babble his heart out and make Evan’s day, but he can imagine that’s different when you spend every moment with him, not just the excitement of doing something new.

He, on the other hand, doesn’t mind spending time with Christopher at all. He can still enjoy the view that is Shannon and get his dose of interaction with someone other than the Johnsons and the surly housewives of El Paso in Christopher. Still, nice in a different way isn’t the same kind of nice and he misses talking to Shannon slightly.

However, there is some leftover guilt churning in his gut about him snapping at her earlier and he has enjoyed his time with the kid, so he doesn’t mention that to her when they say their goodbyes, parting for the week.

After that she comes over more often, buying less eggs when she comes by to justify coming more than once.

Sometimes she’s by herself and it is like before, but more and more often she’ll bring Christopher along with her. On some days, she enjoys hanging out with Evan and Christopher, going around the farm to play with the chickens, other days she enjoys exploring on her own, having some time for herself as Evan keeps Christopher occupied.

Evan doesn’t mind too much. It’s clear she needs the break and Chris has become his best buddy, so it isn’t a hardship. When she is there alone, they still flirt, but Evan is starting to think that it is never going to go anywhere. At least, not until Eddie comes back. Despite their divorce, she seems to be waiting for him anyway, as if she needs to talk to him, before she can move on.

He doesn’t blame her. He doesn’t know what it’s like to have a kid with a guy who is halfway across the world, to divorce him, because he doesn’t love you and not be able to really talk to him about it.

So he lets her have what she can take and wonders if he can take her hating him if he moves away before she can move on, even though he knows – deep inside he knows – that he’s gotten attached to her, to Chris. That he is clinging like he clings to everyone, taking what she offers, because it is more than he has.

At four and a half months of knowing each other, things shift again. She shows up at the farm late in the afternoon. It is time for a break and Evan is sitting on the porch, enjoying the sun shining on his face, when she comes stumbling out of the car, Chris on her hip.

She drops the boy in his lap, already talking a mile a minute: “I am so sorry to ask you this randomly, but can you please, please, watch Chris for a few hours. I promise I’m going to be back, but Helena has been smothering me and I already have a headache, because I have a toothache and a spot opened up at the dentist out of the blue today and I just want to take care of this without feeling like I’m the size of an ant, even though-”

“Hey, hey,” he interrupts her, sending her his best assuring smile. “It’s okay. Go to the dentist, Shannon. I’ll watch Superman over here.” He bounces Chris in his lap.

“Are you sure?” she checks, while she’s already backing away. She knows just as he does that he isn’t going to say no.

“I’m sure, now go,” he shoos her off.

She leaves quickly after that, leaving him with Chris on the porch. He looks down on him and Chris looks up at him, expression open and trusting. Chris is always happy to see him, Chris doesn’t know better than Evan being the coolest person around, who lets him do the big boy things his grandparents say no to and tosses him around like mommy can’t. Chris is upset when they have to go home again when he’s having fun with Evan.

Right now, Evan doesn’t know what to think. He has gone from having a flirty thing with Shannon, to being her friend, to being Chris’s friend, to being her support, to an emergency babysitter. He isn’t sure if that’s an upgrade.

Chris smiles at him and says: “Evan, chickies?” and Evan’s heart bursts. Definitely an upgrade.

“Of course we can go see the chickes, buddy,” he tells him warmly, getting up and swinging Chris in a large swoop until he’s on his shoulders, making sure to hold him tight, so he won’t fall.

As Chris laughs at the action, Evan finds himself smiling wide. He might be clinging to Shannon, unsure if she’ll ever be able to fill that void entirely, even if it’ll only be for a moment, but he doesn’t regret it. Not when there is Chris. Chris, who never gets tired of seeing him, who always wants to hang out with him, who fills that void in a way Even never thought about.

Mrs. Johnson shakes her head disapprovingly when she spots him with Chris. She, like much of the town, doesn’t trust Shannon much and she has especially taken a dislike to Evan’s friendship with her. It hurts a bit, but he is used to disappointing mothers, so he takes it in stride.

When Shannon comes back from her appointment, she gives him a kiss on the cheek in thanks. It is the most he’s ever got, but he can’t fully enjoy it, too sad that she can’t stay after and will take Chris with her when she goes.

He calls after her not to be a stranger and that Chris was a trooper, hoping she’ll let him babysit again.

She does.

In the weeks after, he sees Chris more often. Though these times she actually coordinates with him beforehand, so he can take the time off to spend time with him. She doesn’t explain why she’s dropping him off and Evan doesn’t ask. He figures she prefers him as a babysitters to her ex-in-laws, who have so much to say about her. He doesn’t blame her for that.

Then, four weeks into this new dynamic, she shows up alone on a Thursday when Evan is working, much like the first time she came. She asks for some coffee and Evan brews it for her, noticing she doesn’t entirely seem like herself.

He sets down the mug in front of her, lowering himself into the seat across from her. Once they’re both drinking their beverage, he asks: “So, wanna tell me what’s going on? Chris with his grandparents today?”

“Yeah, they’re at the airport. Uhm, they’re- they’re picking Eddie up today,” she drops the bombshell on him. “He’s done with his service. Didn’t feel like having our first conversation in months there. He should greet his son and parents. His family.”

Evan’s mind spins at the information that has just been hurled at him and what that means. Shannon might finally get her closure. Chris will get to see his daddy again. The awful ex-in-laws will get their son back. It will be a reunion with a man Evan doesn’t know, but whose life he has become intertwined with.

Eddie Diaz is home and Evan isn’t sure where that will leave him.

~~

A/N:

Love the idea that no matter what, Buck will fall into accidental co-parents about Chris with a Diaz, very iconic of him <3

Also, updates will be on Wednesday and Sunday, so stay tuned, I am really excited about sharing it and so pleased with how it turned out :D

[mblue-art]

i’m curious about your take on strawberry nightmare! to you, what’s he like? how does he act? what’s he all bout?

He is annoying (/aff hehe), and even more so to regular Nightmare. I tried to figure out (still am, I guess) how to put the flavor theming and '2P!' thing together, but here's what I have in my head for him ^^ (ramble warning!)

Finding out that the concept of '2P!' variants existed in UTMV too, made me happy! Usually 2P!s are inverted or flipped versions of the original character— think Fell'd or Swap'd versions in UTMV terms— so I thought:

Huh. If he's supposed to be a flipped version of Nightmare, would he have similarities with Swap!Dream? 🤔 But softer, nicer? 'cause he's also strawberry milk-themed! 🍓 flavors and aesthetics can be associated with soft, nice, sweet, cheery, and pretty...

(And sometimes, behind that pretty pink, lies red danger. While regular Nightmare clearly shows that he is a threat, S!NM hides it behind a layer of sweetness; (like a yandere— I explored yandere S!NM here), like a 'nice' character hiding their bad side—

But don't worry! Only those who are deserving of his wrath will face it. He's mean when he needs to. The simps are safe, as well as the people he cherishes! He can be a patient man. Just don't be on his bad side and you'll be a-ok! 👍(⁠◠⁠‿⁠・⁠)⁠—⁠☆

He's like... If regular NM decided to go uwu for the bit, but forever.........(/hj)

He is friendly, a flirt, flips between being all cutesy and rizzing up the simps,

nicely offers you (suspicious— he loves making people doubt LOL) pink sweets in exchange for company or simply as thanks for spending time with him

(A king can feel so lonely sometimes 😩😔 esp w/o his dear brother around... so maybe he has a massive pink house instead of a castle :] Oooh, imagine how pink and aesthetic the interior would be...),

likes messing with the original Nightmare (Ah!! NM hosting parties! Him getting invited! Yes, he'd def talk to the king of the castle but tries to be civil! This is a nice fancy party with lots of people around; he's not gonna ruin this for anyone 😤 he just wants to socialize!!)

(Yes he owns a few creative 🍓-themed suits, why wouldn't he lean towards his aesthetic 😤)

Like any Guardian of Feelings, he can manipulate/control emotions. He can pull out one's negative emotions to calm them down, and he can also make one feel nervous or any other mix of feelings in his presence, just like how his original counterpart does.

As for his role in the multiverse, I'd say he honestly just tries to have fun. Yk, jus a lil chaos. Teehee. No multiverse domination or anything, he just likes being a menace to people hehehe

An idea I thought of a few times is him hinting that he has visited Nightmare's castle (whether he actually talked to NM or not) by leaving strawberry milk (carton/bottle) in the fridge for the others to see and be confused by.

'hey guys where's my choccy milk? did any of you drink it?? it was my last box!' - 'why is there strawberry milk again... none of you drink this...' - 'who keeps getting this pink stuff'

NM eventually informs them about this visitor, and to be cautious, just... Don't drink whatever pink thing he leaves in the fridge.

I've never really thought of what S!NM's backstory would be, what him and his Dream's 'Dreamtale AU' would be, so right now, he's just... There one day (lol) with a brother that keeps? running away from him?? (His Dream is 🟦 instead of 🟨! (I saw an artist drew him as such) And while 🍓 is happy and excited, 🔵 is kinda gloomy... Interesting to see a happy Negativity Guardian and a grumpy Positivity Guardian...)

You can scroll through the #snm asks tag to read past (mostly simp) shenanigans with him, and you can also click these links for my other rambleposts about him ^^