#or perhaps like a vintage automobile driven with homicidal intent by the henchman then reversed back over a couple more times to be sure

[gravitasmalfunction]

Villain/#1 henchman, did I ship it?

When the distraught henchman swore on his own life that the assassination he undertook for the villain was successful, and slapped down his own gun on the desk for the villain to shoot him if he was wrong? (No, but I appreciated the henchman’s dedication)

When the henchman was trying to give his villain boss advice on letting the young lady pursuing him down effectively? (No, there could be any number of reasons a gangster doesn’t want to encourage the advances of a beautiful, vivacious, wealthy young socialite, and why his number one henchman looks so pained to see him helpless in the face of her onslaught)

When the villain, hospitalised due to injuries, was being picked up and carried in and out of bed and his wheelchair by the henchman? (No, that’s just standard care for the injured, obviously)

When the villain, being visited in hospital by the wealthy young socialite, gives the henchman a pleading glance full of meaning? And the henchman takes the hint incorrectly and leaves the room, causing the villain untold anguish and suffering at being abandoned to her tender mercies? (Of course not, nothing to see there)

When the socialite leaves the hospital and the villain falls out of bed reaching for his wheelchair to attempt an escape on his own, and the henchman is dismayed to discover him on the floor frustrated and in pain, and gently lifts him princess-style into the wheelchair? (I mean, how else was the villain going to get back up off the cold, hard floor?)

When the villain reveals his plan to check out of the hospital immediately to avoid the socialite’s promised daily visits, and demands the henchman take him home to the henchman’s place? (Just another example of bosses feeling entitled to everything from their employees, tbh)

When they arrive at the henchman’s bachelor pad and there’s only one bed? (No, don’t be silly, the henchman clearly said he would sleep in the other half of the room behind the curtains so the villain would have privacy)

When the henchman explains he will get a new, unused quilt and pillow for the villain, and pulls down the chest containing the red bridal bedding made for him by his mother, and sets said bridal bedding out on the bed. For the villain. Who will be sleeping in the henchman’s bed. Presumably after being bridal-carried by the henchman from the wheelchair to the bed. (Not only do I now ship it, the force of my conviction has punched through time and space so I’ve been shipping it all along.)