#or nonbinary

[justaz]

i wish i was a good artist. i would draw merlin so androgynous. in a dress. long hair. mmmmmm. kiss boys. arthur. kiss arthur. sigh

[terukanesghost]

thinking about how i dont know if im actually queer or if all that confusion during the pandemic was just little me """following the trend" of ppl online coming out

but i remember cutting my hair super short bc i wanted to look like a guy, changing half my closet to basic baggy shirt, crying myself to sleep bc i had a feminine body, researching about binders and thinking about buyihg one when i started living by myself, trying 2 sports bra under a shirt in the middle of the night to see how myself flat chested in the mirror, praying to god that i would wake up as a cis boy, using masculine pronouns to refer to myself by accident and feeling so happy and confused and perplexed, daydraming about going back to shool looking masculine and ppl would mistake me for a guy before realizing they already knew me, researching about testosterone, thinkig about having a boyfriend that would call me his boyfriend etc

i still have some of these thoughts and wishes, but not as intensely or less frequently, but i can not just ignore this and feel 100% okay as a cis girl. i genuinely can not believe that was a phase, especially when i started thinking about those things before questioning my gender, and even tho i feel way better now when i look more feminine, i want to look masculine when i move away from this city, i want to make little me biggest dream (and one of current me dreams) reality, and i can just hope im not wrong about it

[pu33yboi]

Itafushi AU that maki doesn’t off the zenin clan yet and Megumi is forced to marry a girl when he wants to marry Yuji.

Yuuji and Megumi were in love. They had 3 years flirting and kissing and making love and talking sweet nothing to eachother. Megumi selfishly and wordlessly takes everything yuuji gives him and more. All the love. And the kisses. All the touches. And the whispers of nothingness. All the quiet moments. All the heavy moments.

in the end Megumi is more afraid of what the clan would do to yuuji if he didn’t listen to them.

But he’s also selfish and hires yuuji, a person with potential to become as strong or stronger than gojo satoru, as his bodyguard and yuuji doesn’t think twice to say yes.

Yuuji spends every moment beside of Megumi who he has to watch be with someone else that he doesn’t love. A woman that births his child and yuuji can’t help but feel a twing of jealousy, of hatred. And he hates himself for that. He had to live without regret so instead, he babysits oftenly when Megumi is in his study room that yuuji isn’t allowed to be in.

He stands beside him with a distance, watching his surroundings. He slowly forgets what Megumi looks like because he needs to be vigilant of his surroundings, to protect him. And then, one day Megumi forces him to look at him and the breath in his lungs gets knocked out of him. His once beautiful delicate figure and slender face became so much more masculine and sharp. He wants to touch him so badly but he holds his hands back. His hands are for fighting only.

Megumi is so tired. He is so tired of the clan. Of his wife. Of his kid. All the guilt and hatred makes him hate himself more. When he’s had abit too much to drink at the clan meeting and his wife left to spend the night at a friends, Megumi feels cold and alone in his big bed made for 2.

Yuuji is outside, guarding his door so he calls out to him. Within half a heartbeat, yuuji is already inside the room and Megumi feels 10x more powerful having yuuji on this invisible leash than when he’s beaten mahorage. Megumi calls out to him again to come closer, and he complies. Always does. But it’s so irritating that he doesn’t look at him. So he calls out to Yuji and tells him to look at him. And again, he complies. Megumi gets up as he watches yuuji stare at his every move.

He places a hand on his cheek, gently. Caresses the scars in his face with sadness in his eyes. Yuuji becomes putty in his hands, having forgotten what it’s like being touched. Touched by the only person he wants, has ever wanted. Megumi slides his other hand, trailing down yuuji’s muscular arms and tickles his fingers that are gripping his wrist.

He gets in his tippy toes and whispers to yuuji to touch him, and for the first time in years, they’re young again, in the jujutsu tech dorm making love in the single bed. Heaving and begging and giggling and having hearts in their eyes. Everything they’ve ever wanted, held in this moment that they wished they could freeze forever. Break free of the clan chains.

But it’s just a fleeting night. A mistake. A moment of weakness that they never speak about even though yuuji had tried at first.

The last time they ever get to touch is when they’re fighting off an intruder, an assassin who’s killed more than half the clan so far. Maki zennin. She had told Megumi in his first year at jujutsu tech that she would do it if she could. He believed her, but as the time passed, he wasn’t sure if she was up for it anymore.

Megumi is on his knees, hunched over yuuji who has blood coming out of every limb imaginable. He was protecting his wife from the assassin but all Megumi wanted to do was yell at him to protect himself. To stay safe so that when this was all over, maybe maki would spare him since he had slowly changed the traditions of the zennin clan.

Yuuji chuckled out some blood asking why Megumi had tears running down his beautiful face, telling him he looked beautiful regardless. He whispered all his love that he had since he was 15, words Megumi never thought he’d never hear again. Hoped he wouldn’t have to unless by some miracle they would end up together in bed forever.

And Megumi doesn’t say anything as he watched the light leave his eyes, the smile become weak. He can’t say anything. He doesn’t allow himself to. Not after everything he put him through. He does, however, once again selfishly clings to his body. He weeps and weeps for hours feeling numb through his feet with his and yuuji a weight. Numb in his heart from the crying. Numb in his hands from the body slowly becoming cold.

Numb in the mind as he pushes off the cold, dead, unfamiliar body off of him. The clan is so much smaller now, but without so many wrinkled bags around. He feels relieved, realizing that the assassination was to leave all the young people of the zennin clan to build themselves anew from the ground up.

And maybe he hired maki as his new body guard, making sure that any of the elders who tried to do something to her, he’d do it back to them ten fold.

And maybe Megumi mistakenly calls out for yuuji even after years of him being gone because truly, that’s all he wanted. But maki doesn’t say anything. She does as she’s told because Megumi gave her this opportunity at helping to create a better future for the zennin.

And maybe maki also doesn’t say anything because she knew about the love that they had shared for each other during their jujutsu tech days. And the way she watched from a dark corner as he wept over his dead body. But it needed to be done so that Megumi could focus on the clan instead of dilly-dallying and walking on eggshells around yuuji.

And maybe Megumi looks over his shoulder in hopes that with a miracle, he would see yuuji instead of maki. But with time, he forgot what yuuji looked like, no matter how many times he looks at the exact spot he would be. No matter how many years he selfishly clung to the memories of their time together. And his heart aches no matter old he grows to become.

And maybe Megumi regrets not being more afraid of losing yuuji than being selfish to keep him. To fight for him. For them. Having him by his side at the head of the table, in bed, in travel, anywhere in arms reach and touch him whenever he wanted. And he knew that yuuji would do anything he says without a word going against him, moon and stars in his eyes.

Also posted on ao3 https://archiveofourown.org/works/58803733

[perfektblau]

i try not to think about my gender identity issues because it's so complicated. (although someone figured i might be nonbinary 😵‍💫)

would a cis person experience gender envy? not like, "I wish I was strong as a man", but more like

"I wish I woke up as a male one day. Like this handsome guy on this photo. I want what he has. To experience how it feels to be him, even for one day.."

but I also wish I wasn't anything at all 🥲

but I live my life like I am a woman. I don't care about pronouns, she/her is fine with me,

tw: gender dysphoria, toxicity, rant

feminity sickened me when I was a teenager and in my 20s. I have some ideas why, but not sure. I wanted to set fire on things that represented feminity

even stores like Victoria's Secret sickened me, actually made me irate. it made me want to tear it up all those posters up.

puberty was such a nightmare. I think it's common that teens feel very awkward and insecure about their changes, but I think I experienced it badly. I just wanted to rip apart my changing body, I cursed cursed my body so much. my chest was what I hated the most. I was lucky that I was flat I cut my hair very short, dressed androgenously and I felt happier that way.

its just now that I feel more comfortable with feminity than I did before. that's a huge progress for me.

[sparknightdrawing]

oc shit

[setratwo]

Spoilers for Omniscient Reader!!

Me too, me too, Nirvana 🔥

[fishbrain-glubglub]

Imagine being an Amazon Themyscira, living up your Amazon life, but you feel wrong. You're surrounded by so many amazing warrior women, but you feel disjointed from those around you. You dismiss these feelings, of course. Just silly thoughts of adolescence. Nothing to be concerned about. Until someone dies. Right on the island. Training gone wrong. That's not supposed to happen. As long as man don't step foot on Themyscira, you and your sister are immortal. No true harm can come to you. Must have been a fluke. But then someone else dies. Your sisters are extremely worried, no matter how much Hippolyta assures everything will be fine. No man has been found on the island, but whoever is harboring them will be severly punished. All those horrid thoughts you've pushed down deep inside come flooding to the surface. The wrongness you feel, disconnected from your sisters no matter how hard you try, the feeling you get trying on the tightest of chest plates and enjoying the flatness you see, everything hits you at once and you realize: you are the man. You are the reason they are dead. As much as you tried to deny it and dismiss it, it's you causing the mortality of those warriors all by existing on the island. And now you have to leave your home forever before anyone else dies.

[thelunastusco]

Hey folks, just for the record, system members often have complex and varying genders that don’t always match the genders of other system members, any potential host/core/”original”, or even just how the system as a whole decided to present bodily.

It’s almost like different system members are different people.

[mysterionrisez]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: South Park Rating: Not Rated Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Stan Marsh & Wendy Testaburger, Shelly Marsh & Stan Marsh, Kenny McCormick/Wendy Testaburger, Stan Marsh/Wendy Testaburger Characters: Stan Marsh, Wendy Testaburger, Kenny McCormick, Shelley Marsh Additional Tags: Nonbinary Stan Marsh, Nonbinary Wendy Testaburger, Nonbinary Kenny McCormick, Trans Female Kenny McCormick, Hurt No Comfort, Closeted Character, Queer Themes, kenny is not there but he's mentioned a lot, stan and wendy are both gay separately but stan is very desperate and very confused always, kenny is sorta nb at this point but sorta approaching girlhood, same goes for wendy but in the opposite direction, and MAYBEEEEE, Miscommunication, just a lil bit, Transphobia, Internalized Transphobia Summary:

Stan has some things to think about.

hi freaks here’s my first south park fic if anyone would like to give a read! :~)

[passionfruitmango]

I'm like if girlblogging were genderqueer

[necroticghost]

y'all I might be switching sides -> 🏳️‍⚧️

[ace-but-not-a-pilot]

Yargh, the horrors! The horrors!

[ace-dodo]

Fuck a breakup, have you ever realized that your childhood nana (the one that literally says you're like her second daughter) is probably homophobic/transphobic?

[thehawksimp]

Yes

“There’s no platonic explanation for tha-“

[d4rkerthanbl4ck]

This will never not be funny to me.