#or maybe thats just me being delusional because the two of them are grown men from the 90s

[theclosetedskeleton]

Ezra thinks hes funny + randomly posts + draws about characters from needful things nobody will know take one

[3hams]

some impromptu Dick Grayson meta

While DC has always enjoyed wrecking Dick’s love life in bizarre and disturbing ways, I have my own fanon (is that still a word?) theories.

He and Kory didn’t work out because Kory embraced him wholeheartedly and unconditionally. Dick had internalized all this guilt from his parents’ deaths and a feeling that “real love” had to be earned through Bruce’s unintentional conditioning. So when Kory tells him he’s good enough for her, she must be lying or delusional. Or he must be great at faking it. He’s never good enough. He has to sweat for every scrap of love or it’s not true, not deep.

This terror that she will reject him once she sees his failings causes him to lash out, accuse her of things she hasn’t done, and try to control her. Basically playing on all her issues (Kory being one of the most honest people in canon with a history of being hurt by control) and making Dick’s fear of rejection come to fruition when she can no longer reach him.

At which point he goes back to Barbara, a woman tied up in his history with Gotham and Bruce, a woman who is hot and cold with him for a variety of reasons. That repetition compulsion to seek out those he knows are likely to reject him is indulged in Barbara. Both of them carry so much baggage and pain and love and just pummel each other emotionally until Babs gets fed up and boots him out.

(In some corners of fandom, Dick also indulges these issues with morally ambiguous older men, but that’s another essay for another time.)

All of this, and in the background, a highly critical father figure, a brother who insults and even attacks him every time he sees him, innumerable other people Dick feels he’s failed, and oh yeah, tons of combat trauma and assault. He sometimes plays out the push-pull routine with friends too (see: Roy Harper).

Honestly, it’s pretty bonkers that he’s functional, but I think the reason he’s one of the more gifted heroes in the DCU is that his neurosis fuels his drive. Much like Bruce’s neuroses fuel him.

Above all, he is Bruce’s son. Tim may take after Bruce in his intellect and personality, but the psychological intertwining of Bruce and Dick is something to behold. At their worst, they are somehow both codependent and distant, but they love each other so, so deeply. Some authors basically write them as soul mates. That tracks for me.

Is there anyone more driven to do more, be better? Is there anyone more desperate to avoid failure at any cost in the shadow of Bruce’s expectations than Dick Grayson?

Well, yes, actually. His name is Damian Wayne.*

When Damian comes along, he has been ruthlessly trained to avoid failure, to scoff at unconditional approval and love, to become the perfect heir of the Bat. Dick’s eyes are opened when he sees these internal struggles play out so externally with Damian. The confusion, the desperation and longing and fear. It all looks so different now that he’s finally grown up.

Dick can see the striving, hurting child he was in Damian, but this time, he can help. He can work to make his brother’s childhood a better one, can understand Bruce a little better watching the two of them. He can see Damian’s mistakes and cruelties and love him anyway. 

And maybe he can imagine a world in which all those people who told him they saw him and loved him no matter what (including Bruce) were telling the truth.

Loving Damian is a healing act for Dick. Healing for them both. And that potential is what makes Robin a hopeful character even when the costume is worn by a tiny angry assassin. 

*You can make an argument for Tim here too, but I actually think Tim has a better grip on his sense of self around Bruce than most of his brothers. Tim is more driven by fear of loss or loneliness than fear of disapproval. He becomes Robin despite Bruce’s explicit dissaproval.