#or maybe like this if we havent but u would Like to
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even more modern au whump i think for a while after (vague gesture) they would fall asleep clinging to each other only after exhausting themselves from crying
full ^_^) sorry for putting them through the horrors all over again im observing them under a microscope a little bit just to see ^_^👍
#i think i would like to press down on them like a bug . until they cry#not in a horriblemean way just because jc is me and im him and well i cant separate motherson so jl is coming along for the ride#this is my alternate to therapy i dont know if its working#is that wwxs hair band in jcs hair we will never know#did yanli get jc that blanket we will Never know#sorry jl for dragging u into this i promise happier times await (maybe)#i fix canon by making it worse (everyone dies and everyone stays dead)#Maybe . i havent decided on wwx situation hes in a coma now#ok thats it#art tag#mdzs#jiang cheng#jin ling#jin ling and his jiujiu#this au needs a tag
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pls i need to provide updates
#basically yesterday night was chaharshanbe suri . which is a solar new yr tradition where we let go of the past suffering in our year#and like...start the new yr w fresh vigour . anyway so my friend was at the event and we were abt to leap over the fire#and she was like bro im im glad u blocked her (situationship) etc etc . and then. my phone started vibrating. and i look at it. and my f#friend looks at it. and its her. and were both like what the fuck?? i blocked her things r Over and anyway so i pick up the phone and shesl#acting like nothing happened (bc nothing DID happen for her) and she was like ohh ur doing chaharshanbe suri im not doing anything etc what#are ur new yr plans so i jusr .IDK WHY I DID THIS . but ig i didnt wanna come off as like lonely i said probably hanging out w family and#friends maybe reading poetry together . et cetera and she was like wait that sounds so fun why didnt u invite me!#LIKE WDYM YOUVE BEEN CONSISTENTLY MAKING IT CLEAR U DONT WANT TO BE IN MY PRESENCE . and i told her that after#everything i thought she didnt want to see me again and she was like you always think that 😐 . like. ?? ok anyway so she expects me to#invite her . and like. there is an above 0% but sub-5% chance she will actually show up . but the panic that gripped me#i started making calls to my friends asking them if they can come on the 23rd bc there must be an event and also i asked my mother#and she said actually yeah i am doing a thing on the 23rd :D it involves over 16 ppl (we live in a v small flat) of which like...7 are kids#so you wont have space to be in ur own room let alone invite others. which tbh like ...being around a bunch of loud kids doesnt seem fun fo#any of my friends or me etc so i thought maybe i should arrange things so that we all go out together and if she shows up she shows up 🤷♀️#but . im so. WHY DID I SAY THAT . i had to panic-call my research partner and ask him to get from oxf to where i live on the 23rd#and when he heard the explanation he like. the light in his voice disappeared 💀 but he potentially agreed so idk#THE ISSUE IS. 23rd im supposed to also have . a date#w this girl that i had a huge crush on when i was 15-16 (posted abt this b4 but id get shitty black coffee in the mornings just to spend a#few more minuted w her each day and she was the cleverest girl in school and she cared abt nothing but her academics but now shes very gay#scraggly homosexual etc etc shes cute) and YEAH IDK#like id have to go there on the date come back fast meet ppl POTENTIALLY (again under 5%) meet situationship girl#like is that even doable#but the thing is it would be so so so funny bc all of my friends dislike her sooo much#.........what if i invited the girl im supposed to have a date w over to hang out w us#god that would be so hilarious and chaotic . i wont do it tho im a mature person x#but it would be soooo funny#I HAVE AN ASSIGNMENT DUE TMRW 12:30PM IT IS 10:49PM RN I HAVENT STARTED IT bc i was rotting sadly in bed#popped a ritalin pill tho so here we go x#i have found myself in a state of such sheer agony and rage and sorrow and grief over this girl that atp i feel like#its just so entertaining . like i feel vaguely over it? ik nothing will come of it so its like just . have fun . vibe
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#ugh. im so tried. why is crying so exhausting? i havent done anything. this is bullshit#we went from a slow motion breakdown to full on freakout meltdown today#luckily no one was around in the lab this morning bc i couldnt stop crying#so i went to the counseling center and made myself their problem#canceled my committee meeting. which everyone tells me is fine. its all fine#think about going home for a while they say. maybe tell ur dad ur having a bad time thry say#but im so tired. and i dont kno what to do and its all falling apart#i just feel like im brushing up against the limits of what i can do intellectually and its like well where do i go from here?#what do i do with my old data? how do i move my project forward? whats the point of any of this?#why did i put myself in this position? would taking a leave even help? id still have to come back to the same mess#its just so frustrating bc theres no solution ill find satisfying. everything just sucks.#idk what my advisor even told my committee. bc we were supposed to meet tomorrow morning. ugh. it would have been so bad#it also sucks bc im so drained that i can just feel my own weight when im trying to talk to ppl#like u kno when ur being a wet blanket but u dont kno how to fix it. like srry my vibes r wretched. maybe im just stuck like this#i dunno. my dad invited us home for a week in july and also plans to come out to visit me in August. but that seems like a long time away#i dunno what im gonna do. what a disaster#unrelated
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hey so after hearing an utterly horrific pronunciation of the word "nahuatl" that scared me straight out of my native skin ("nah-wah-toll", he said) just as a pointer whenever you read a nahuatl word the ending "-tl" is pronounced sort of like a hiss with a tongue touching the roof of your mouth? its not nah-wah-toll, its not even nah-wah like a lot of mexicans believe, the "tl" sound comes from the way you push air through your mouth from the back of your throat
the way i figure how to make the "TL" sound is to put your tongue on the roof of your mouth. now, without removing your tongue from the roof, try making the sound of an "h" with a mouth halfway closed. you should feel the way the air blows through both of your cheeks and comes out sounding like a lisp-sound. thats the point! the hiss definitely sounds like a lisp. you may need to practice this a bunch to get the sound right
there isnt an phonetic equivalent to "tl" i can figure how to write out for you because "tl" is a sound of its own. you have to say na-hua-TL its already written the way its supposed to be read! the only problem is that people do not know how to pronounce the "tl" sound and will make approximations which i know its tough but it is wrong (though ill take nah-wah over NAH-WAH-TOLL)
this is a YT shorts of a man saying "nahuatl" and different nahuatl words and how theyre pronounced
this is a 7 minute video of a man who guides you on HOW to make the noise "tl"
some reminders while im at it:
-we are not aztecs, we do not speak aztec. we are native mexicans (most of us. im not speaking about immigrants to mexico obviously) and most of us who speak an indigenous language speak nahuatl, so we may call ourselves nahua or descendants from the mexica
-though not everyone speaks nahuatl, there are 68 different indigenous ethnic groups in mexico we have. variety.
-certain dialects of nahuatl spoken in michoacan or just southern mexico for example may choose to prefer the "T" in nahuatl words and pronounce say ahuacatl as "A-wah-cat" or maybe prefer the "L" sound and say "A-wah-cal". it really depends
-(pet peeve but) AXOLOTL is "ah-sho-lo-tl" and not "axe-ah-loddel"
-no u are not saying the word in english and therefore are going to pronounce it like a yank
-if you can say rendezvous like "ron-deh-vu" and not like "ren-des-voos" then you can say nuahuatl words the way theyre meant to be said!! our language has gotten so eroded and the only way we can keep it alive is by trying to say things as theyre meant to ok
#nahuatl#..now if duolingo had nahuatl or purepecha to study instead of klingon or valyrian thatd. thatd be dope😔#anyways i need to get off my ass and learn purepecha thats what i need to do#most of my meger studies have been towarss nahuatl becous its easier to find info but i just sometimes get annoyed at how inconsistent#everything is man i gotta actually go to somewhere where they Speak It.#after a couple of conversations with my family im quite sure we have a strong purépecha line and it realy makes me feel bad in my stomach#that i havent attempted#to learn purépecha as mch as i should have#im aware i probably also have a lot of mexica blood from perhaps my fathers side alrhough im not too sure and well i cant ask but as much#as i can tell his side Has been from tijuana meanwhile my grandmother and my uncles and aunts moved when they were young from their ranch#michoacan to tijuana so i mean. maybe i can see what peoples were in tijuana though that would be just making a lot of assumptions abt my#fathers side where i dont have any information and its not like im going to track him down to check. literally whatever i really need to#check my purépecha roots though someone hit me witha pan#if anuone has any mexican-native wuestions u can ask and ill try to answer to the best of my abiltiies
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hello my little runts here to give u a life update bc i am me and i cannot stfu even if im supposed to be offline and studying </3
ANYWAY second to last final is tomorrow at 11 am and then friday at 7 pm AND THEN IM FREE so pray they go well 🧎🏽♀️
AND THEN in nine days i will be on a flight to my cousins wedding isn't that tho sexc of me 😍😍😍 i will be back in a week or two hopefully and then we will be spammed with gojo and geto content be prepared
#⚠︎︎ tw: tee is talking!#do yall miss me#say yes or i will shoot 🔫#i miss yall </3#im stressed sobs but on the bright side my cyno and scara are almost done being built#i say almost bc lord knows when i will level 90 cyno finally#and lord knows when i will get a decent anemo dmg goblet#ALSO my bf got me a rly cute purse#u can bet ur bottom dollar my wedding outfit will now match that purse 😍😍😍😍😍#i havent gotten an outfit yet :') im uh...im gonna figure that out soon....maybe.....#but anyway he is my lil sugar daddy king i love him 😍😍😍#i think he would leave me if he knew i said that LMAO#nobody tattle on me i will steal all ur money#lets see what else can i update yall on#oh im sick#theres that#are we surprised LMAO i have like the worlds most lazy immune system#bro decides its not gonna work half the time#</3#one of my old high school acquaintances is also getting married#she invited me but i will be in another country rip </3#why is everyone getting married i feel left out#idek where to pay bills how dare i dream of marriage my dad pays 2923847 dollars for the water bill as i have concerts in my shower 😭#ANYWAY BYE FOR NOW I LOVE U ALL I MISS U DONT FORGET ME OR ILL KMS I WILL BE BACK
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i think its funny when people call law a fraud because he "doesn't have a medical degree" or "didn't take the hippocratic oath" or whatever when he is 1. canonically incredibly good at his job (and he has to be, to bring out his devil fruit's full ability) and 2. a "swordsman" despite NO ONE ever commenting on his sword-fighting abilities and NEVER actually... fighting anyone.... with a sword... without his devil fruit powers.....
#L.txt#one piece#lawposting#likw if youre calling him a fraud at least do it for the right reasons#'hes a bad doctor' false. weakens his characterization. not even funny#'he sucks at sword fighting' THIS ONE. we need to do something funny with this.#'we' i say. as if i cant write it myself#UNREALTED but like for world-building reasons... why would one piece have a hippocratic oath when ancient greece is not a thing?#like i could maybe see there being an equivalent of some sort MAYBE but also like that doesn't make him a bad doctor???#does the op universe even have like. formal schooling???#if u havent blocked my law tag yet you are gods strongest soldier
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having some Thoughts and Feelings on the sun and the star
#the sun and the star#its as good as i thought it would be#i dont like the way will was characterized but i KNEW this was gonna happen#hes just The Boyfriend#which is disappointing#hes been one of my favorite side characters since he was first introduced long before his relationshio with nico was a thing#also#this book feels... superficial if u know what i mean#i thought it would be along the lines of house of hades which was a bit darker and more intense#BUT i havent finished the book yet so maybe im wrong#also??? jason being the new bianca?????#he was only friends with nico for a short period of time yet the only time jason is ever spoken of is in connection to nico#we dont hear about piper or leo who had much deeper connections to jason#or percy who was a paralell to jason#OR THALIA??? HIS SISTER??????#anyway about will again#he was written to be the bossy caretaker healer son of apollo medic boyfriend which is exactly what i was afraid of#and so far the entire book has been about nico healing from his own trauma but none of wills#what about lee and michael?#disappointed so far but im still finishing the book lol
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“take a deep breath there is hope in the air.”.//.
#uploads#saw this walking home on sunday from a lil vintage market#love to see a thing right when u need it.. the city provides#n the snow was so so pretty too#had a nice little day yesterday i went for drinks with falcon casue we havent seen each other in like months or really talked#it was really nice n we went to this bar down the street that has a really nice lil atmosphere#we got to chat for a while n then they were having this story telling event where some people told folktales it was really cool n sweet#this one about a king who learned to weave so a woman would fall in love with him and it ends up saving him in the end from some pirates#very sweet very im love#very love to see a thing right when u need it..#sweet little time maybe im not gonna die but maybe i also am idk#very job still making me want to die but at least i can hear a nice story and have a good little conversation#<3
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my stepdad has covid and now my nose is starting to run.
#i TOLD them if we had ppl over for christmas we’d get covid again. and now here we are.#when he tested positive earlier he was like ‘but i havent gone anywhere!’ nd its soooo hard not to say anything but its like hm.#does it mayhaps have something to do with the fact mom goes fucking everywhere and doesnt wear a mask anymore hm???#even when subbing at a school with 750 snotnosed students?? incredible…..#i really have to beg her to wear a mask i just dont get it bc my stepdad is so immunocompromised now and his breathing is so bad normally…#like why would u not do this tiny thing to protect the life of the guy u allegedly love.#idk maybe its bc my dad just died last yr but im really confused why wouldnt u want to stretch out what time u have left together…..
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what is wrong w me !!!!
#theyre gonna see me tmrw lol#why am i . nervous. mein gott#she said one sentence and i keep rereading it and cant sleep. what is thisss what is happening#literally havent even held hands yet ! genuinely determined to kiss her b4 we hold hands maybe i think that would be funny#like in hindsight it will be funny in retrospect#en ee way#its ok lol i just . i just. ugh.#no bc romantic relationships have always always been bad for my academics this is mostly the reason why im afraid#im also preparing for the end of it which is soo unexpectedly like im learning new stuff abt myself each day#its not even started and my brain is already like. save this poem itll be good for when it ends#like . ok ???#anyway#if anyone has been in a similar situation where they literally prepare for the ending b4 the beginning...lmk ur thoughts#like why u think that is or how it went for u or if u think its a healthy thing or not etc#this is news 2 me#[chroma blue]#the purpose of having a tag for ppl i crush on etc is mostly so that when it ends i can go back and delete everything i said abt them#so i can like. move on and erase them from my brain. like. inch resting ig
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#god. im so sorry. ive apparently dragged myself up enough that i can now be v annoying abt my problems on the internet#anyway. the thing abt me is that ppl just cant say things to me. like the casual way ppl do#like oh we should do X thing or u should do X thing. bc i just go. ok r u... r u actually saying this is a thing that has to heppen?#like??? is this someone i have to be wary of now? and if its u should do X thing i cant just let it go#like Thursday my boss was like: u should watch a movie or something this weekend bc she was telling me to chill for a sec#bc i can only imagine how fucking miserable i looked last week#and now im laying here like. i didnt watch a movie. i didnt watch a movie. i said i would and its the end of the weekend and i havent#watched a movie. but like i dont even want to watch one?#and like if u tell me to chill its like. ok so i have to not work this weekend. ok but i have all these things i have to do. but i cant do#them bc i have to chill. so i get stuck in this agony loop where im just laying here paralyzed#which ive basically been doing for the past 2hrs. like i have so much to do. but i have to relax but also i have personal projects that#need to get done. and if i just lay here it counts as relaxing right? despite the fact im spiralling#i just cant focus. i vascilate too much between too many tasks and therefore accomplish nothing#so did i relax this weekend? well i didnt get much done so fml#ugh. its so annoying. im just so bored. maybe i should just sleep#i dont think ive been sleeping well. ugh. i dont understand how ppl can just like shut off the part of their brain that goes#ding! u have a task to do. ding! u have a task to do. ding! ur wasting time. ding! just imagine everything u could be getting done!#and i have to work thru Thanksgiving and i might not get that much time off at Christmas bc theres a project that keeps getting pushed back#my boss is moving schools January 1 but she really wants to b there for this project thats gonna kill me so like maybe we could squeeze it#in before Christmas? maybe? if i dont take a fucking break. which is stupid bc its my choice i literally dont have to but i cant just#forget that she wants to see it so whatever. ive been such a fuck up recently that i feel like i should make it up somehow#but thats stupid bc i should just take a long break bc im v obviously not doing well. but at this point idk if that would fix anything#i just need to leave. but rationally i should stay until next August bc money. but god at what cost#ugh y have i dont this to myself? last year around this time i was doing 10hr days 6 days a week on part time pay. and now im like hm y am#i all used up now? why am i so bitter? bc actions have consequences mate#sigh... so annoying#unrelated
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i need to go to bed but i dont wannnaaaaa
#the bin#i work at 7am and its 1:23 am i have GOT to go to bad but ugh. if i go to bed then that means ill have to go to work as sokn as im conscious#so the longer i stay up the more time i have. but km gonna be so tired at work. hhhhh.#i dont know why but ive felt so horrible today. super anxious. miserable and really sad#im trying to just deal with it. soon enough things are gonna change. its only 34 days till my planned moving date. i will only bave like 20#more shifts at this job. maybe less depending on what i get given. including tomorrows shift. and tomorrows shift is only 5 hours long#and the day after its only 4 hours and then i have 2 more days off. itll be ok. but i still feel so anxious and depressed and awful#i just wanna stay home and be high all the time. i feel so lonely always. literally the only thing that helps me not feel completely crushed#and paralyzed by how lonely i am is getting high. i know its not healthy to rely on getting high to feel better about stuff but idk what#else to do so who cares. when i dont do anything about it i i stead end up relapsing or worse so i think its an ok option#i hope i can meet nice people this year. year after year it doesnt happen but so much has changed!#it makes sense i havent met people since i moved out. and everything is so different from wwhen i last lived with them#all my siblings are in school. they have people over at the hair a fair bit afaik. my dad wont be there to me make feel awful. my sister#also wont be there to me me feel awful. i can figure something out. itll be ok. it has to be.#i just want to squeeze someone. i just want like. a hug. a good cuddle. and i need to talk to someone. its been so long since u had an actul#fun time hanging out with another person. i need to watch a movie with someone and joke around and. ugh.#how did my life reach this point? what happened that resulted in me spending ages 10-19 all alone. im not even 19 yet but i will be soon#and theres not a chance ill meet someone before then esp bc im moving. when i was little i didnt have mych friends but i had some#i had such high hopes for the future. i also thought the future would be terrible but i imagined id still have friends and peopwl to talk to#all ive wanted sincei was 10 is just to have people to talk to and hangout with. but i dont have a single friend. i can hardky name anyone#besides my family and coworkers. and like aa couple of my sisters friends. there isnt even like people i know who i dont really consider#friends but we talk sometimes. if i dont go to work. call my mom. or tex a sibling. i dont see or talk to anyone period#i guess unless i go to the store. that doenst really count tho.#i want to have a friends group. i want to have A friends. just like. a person. to interact with. what happened that made mw spend the past#8 years just not interacting with anyone? whats wrong with me.#its fine tho. becausebit will change. i acan heal from this and i can meet people. even if half my conscious life has been spent all alone#it will get better. it has to.
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My brother in christ at this rate I’m going to have to go for a job like, now
#Good news is the car dealer we bought the lemon off gave us a new car that Brin got to pick#Bad news is we have to find 3 and a half grand to pay out of pocket because the warranty and stuff didnt transfer over#So we’re basically going to have to take everything we have out of all of our accounts and then find some way to come up with more money im#idk i feel like this is the final straw to me of being so fucking over financial problems#No regrets whatsoever about the car stuff because its worked out well in the end and its the correct decision its just hard when ur poor#I might go into uni and chat with the co-op/industry placement people and ask for some help#rural towns dislike losing all their young folk to the city but it is so impossible to survive out here as a fulltime student#also I havent been able to buy groceries properly for weeks ugh did not think i would be in this position at 27#maybe im just in a Mood because I had a bad fatigue day.. lets see what we can do with this money for now i guess#brin if u read all this no stressing please love you smooch smooch#chatterboxing
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everything would magically get better if i killed this bitch from my old school
#randomly got really angry about her even though i havent seen her since may#just. who the fuck did she think she was#and then she has the fucking audacity to whine and say maybe if u got to know me you would know im not a bitch :(..#LIKE YES YOU FUCKING ARE. I KNEW YOU. WE WERE FRIENDS. YOU ARE MOST CERTAINLY A NASTY BITCH.#in what world is it normal to start talking about your new boyfriend while apologizing for outing me. like holy shit#ok im normal i just really hate this asshole#finn.txt
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this guy im trying to be friends with organised all the dice at dnd so i wouldnt have trouble telling them apart and then ripped into someone who was being rude to me at a party ... Waow
#im so delighted!! we havent talked in a while so i got scared he didnt like me but hehe#and when he organised the dice i kept saying i would try to remember which was which and he kept going u dont need to ill help u!!#i helped him mop up vomit later that night so i hope that kind of returned the favour ??? somewhat?????#and he asked me something about me and was jokingly like i usually dont care but ur cool#bro im so starved for friendship maybe this is pathetic
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m. call me an old grandpa but im getting reallyreally sick of the common dependence phones 😐
#maybe i want to talk to you without you mindlessly scrolling. maybe i would like you to focus on our conversation for one second especially#because i havent seen you much at all these past few months. and i sure dont love it when youre too focused on ur dumb videos to comprehend#what im saying to you..... like what is the point#i looove it (/sarc) when you pull your phone out & start scrolling every time i try to talk to you. its sooo great (/sarc) and really shows#that you care. 🙄 ok#idk. i always put my phone down when someone talks to me. im really not even on it when im in waiting rooms or anything anymore.#after trying to find the enjoyable simplicity of the mundane. i just dont want to be on my phone much anymore which is cool#but its frustrating because the people around me dont ever want to actually. spend time with me without their phone in their hands. like ok.#like ive barely talked to y'all much in months because ive been working sun up to sun down for so long and. now that i have time?#'we miss u so much😢' ok.......... get off ur phone then & talk to me. look me in the eyes when we have a conversation. (<- metaphorical.)#(<- autism friendly.)#anyway. so frustrating. im going to start biting
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