#or maybe i should say tik tok references these days

[the-offside-rule]

Lando Norris (McLaren) - Santa's Helper

Requested: yes

Warnigs: cute Christmas stuff

Lando dropped his bags on the floor to his childhood home. Once the season was over, he would always do the same; pack his bags, enough clothes for the month of December to stay with his family until the New Year when he'd have to go back to the factory. "Lando? Is that you?" his mother called from the kitchen. "Yeah mum, I'm here." Lando began walking towards the kitchen when a heavenly smell hit him. The scent of freshly baked goods and cinnamon lingered in his nostrils. "What are you cooking?" Lando asked, walking into the kitchen but stopped dead in his tracks as he saw her sitting at the table, a mug of tea in hand and a cast on her foot. "Mum? What happened?" Lando asked, worried as anything. "I had an accident the day before your race and I didn't want you to worry." she smiled. "Well I'm worrying now, mum!"

"Cisca? Are you alright?" Lando and his mum turned to the door and saw a girl walk in. "I heard the front door open-" She met eyes with Lando and smiled. "You must be Lando. Cisca talks a lot about you." Lando was too stunned to speak (had to add a tik tok reference I'm sorry) She chuckled. "Well, I should take these biscuits out then. Can't let them burn." The girl smiled, turning towards the oven. Lando couldn't take his eyes off her and his mum could tell. "Lando? Can you help me into the living room please?" his mother asked. Lando snapped out of his thoughts and came back to reality. "Oh, yeah. Sure." He helped her up and began walking out with her slowly, not saying anything until they were out of the kitchen.

"You need to stop staring at the poor girl." she joked. "I wasn't staring. I just didn't know we had a visitor for Christmas." Cisca chuckled to herself. "She's quite pretty, isn't she?" Lando felt himself nodding but stopping himself immediately. "Who is she?" he asked. "Y/n. Our neighbour down the avenue. She's been helping me with gardening and cooking since I hurt myself." Lando's eyebrows knotted in confusion. "What? What about the old woman done the road? I though she was our neighbour." He said. "She passed away in June, remember?" Lando nodded. "That's her grand daughter." Lando looked back at her, quickly moving the hot biscuits to a plate to cool. "So she's staying down at the house?" Cisca nodded. "She is. Will I see you bringing the dog for a walk down by her house every morning then?" Lando shook his head. "Absolutely not." Cisca wasn't buying it. Lando obviously liked Y/n quite a lot from the few seconds they had briefly seen eachother. "Then maybe riding the horses. She does it every evening with Flo." Lando wasn't big into horse riding or doing show jumping or anything but for a hot minute, he was considering doing some horse riding in the mornings he was there. "Nah, I'm here to relax, not  run around doing horse riding." Cisca raised her eyebrow. "You say that but I know for a fact you will ask Flo once you don't see me." 

Over the few weeks that Lando was at the Norris household, Y/n would always come in at the crack of dawn to bring the horses for a walk and help Flo and then, after lunch, she would return with some food she picked up from the town's Christmas market. After that, she would help around for a while and leave before coming back after dinner just to check up on them. He loved when she came around and even more so when they'd share little conversations.

When Christmas Day had rolled around, Lando woke up bright and early, expecting Y/n to come on up to the house. He waited and waited. 6am. She wasn't coming. 7am. Wasn't coming either. It had gotten to about 8 in the morning and Y/n hadn't walked up the avenue. "Lando! Come on down!" he heard his father call up. He walked down the stairs to see Flo putting on her layers of jackets so she wouldn't get cold on her morning ride and Lando decided to go. "Flo? Would I be able to go on a horse ride today?" Flo looked at him, visibly confused. "You never go horse riding. What's the catch?" Lando shrugged his shoulders. "A change of heart maybe. It's Christmas, I wanna spend some time with you."

"Looking for Y/n?" Flo grinned. "Oh shut up. I'm not looking for her, just wondering where she is. Isn't she the one who usually does this with you?" Lando asked, trying to steer the conversation in another way. "Well yes, but she's staying with her boyfriend for Christmas." Lando felt a tug at his heartstrings. "Huh, didn't know she had one." In an attempt to try and make himself sound u bothered, he ended up sounding immensely hurt. "Are you alright Lando?" Flo asked him. "Yeah, of course. Why wouldn't I be?" Flo knew Lando well enough to know he was in fact feeling down and she could figure out why too. "How about we go back and get some tea? It's getting way too cold out here." Lando nodded in agreement and followed her back, not a word being shared.

That day went so slowly. Without anything for Lando to anticipate on, or look forward to, it was far too slow of a day. Later in the evening, the whole family were sat around the table for Christmas Dinner. They pulled at the Christmas crackers, put on the hats and overall had a good time but Lando still felt something not quite right. He'd spent every Christmas with his family, always with the same people but this year it was as if a family member was missing or something. Everyone was grabbing whichever delicacies they wanted, ready to eat when the doorbell went. Lando stood up. "I'll get it, go on eating." Lando set his cutlery to the side and walked out to the front door, undoing the locks and then opening the door. He froze. Not because of the temperature outside but because of the person standing at the door. "Y/n? What are you doing here?"

"Hi Lando. Mind if I come in? It's freezing out here." Lando moved aside and let her walk on in. He looked at her, subconsciously smiling but then his face dropped. Outside, it was dark so he couldn't see her very well but enough to make out who she was. Now she was inside, full of light, he noticed her red, puffy eyes. More than likely from crying. "Are you alright?" Her bright smile, slowly faded into a frown and then, the tears came back. "Aw, what's wrong?" he pulled her into a hug as her tears stained his jumper. "I- I don't know why he decid-ded to- I didn't- do anything." she sobbed. "What happened?" he asked her. Y/n looked up to her. "He dumped me." Lando pulled her in for a hug again. "I'm so sorry.

"Here, how about you come in for Christmas Dinner?" Y/n's jaw dropped. "Oh my god, I forgot it was Christmas." Lando laughed. "It's alright, just come in and eat something." Lando began taking her coat off and then hanging it up. "Lando, I'll just go back to mine until tomorrow, really-"

"No, come on." Lando took her hand in his and tried bringing her into the dining room but she stopped him. "Let me wash my face. I don't want to go in looking like I cried." Lando nodded and walked to the bathroom with her. He stood outside, waiting for her to finish up and when she came back out, she looked fresh as a daisy. "You feeling alright now?" she nodded. "Yeah, let's go then."

After dinner, Lando sat at the porch his family jumped around, dancing in the garden. He could only smile and watch it all happen. "Not goin to join your family?" Lando heard a soft voice from behind him. He turned his head to see Y/n walking out the door, shivering as she met the cold air. "Nah, not one for dancing." He explained. She nodded. "Would you like to dance?" Lando locked eyes with her. Y/n smiled softly at him. "Of course. Only if you teach me though." She grinned and took his hand into hers, before starting a swaying movement. "That's all there is to dancing? I Should've done this ages ago." Y/n shook her head, laughing away to herself. "No, you muppet. I'm starting slowly."

"Can we keep it like this? I like dancing like this." She let out a sigh and greed and so they continued on swaying. They were joking, laughing, dancing. It was pure bliss and then her head rested on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. He liked this feeling of belonging. He liked being around the people he loved and with someone whom he hoped to love. "Lando?" He hummed in response. "Thank you for earlier." Lando smiled to himself. "Don't mention it. Friends have to look out for eachother, don't we?" She grinned and looked up to him. "Hopefully I see a bit more of you when I'm helping around at the house." Lando laughed. "You're like Santa's helper. Like a little elf."

"I like being an elf. It means I get to meet some great people." She paused. "People like yourself." Lando felt his cheeks heating up. "I'm gonna say likewise." He chuckled. Y/n's phone buzzed. She looked at it and sighed. "I have to go. I forgot I have to drive to my mum's tomorrow so I'm gonna get an early night." She walked back inside and grabbed her coat, returning a minute later, all wrapped up like she was a matter of hours ago. "Call me when you get there." Lando said, walking along with her. "I don't have your number so I'll ring the house phone." She said. "Yeah, you can ask for my number then." She stopped and blinked at him. "What?"

"Merry Christmas Lando." Lando embraced her. "Merry Christmas." He whispered back. "Just drive safely." She scoffed. "I wouldn't tell me to drive safely. I've seen you drive." Lando chucked at her light hearted joke. "I get paid to, there's a difference." She smiled. "I'll talk to you soon, Lando." She said. "I look forward to it." and with that, Y/n walked away in the snow, her figure becoming more faded and faded until she couldn't be seen at all.

[smoooothoperator]

Beautiful Stranger

07: Trouble In Mind

Driver! Lando Norris x OC (Lily Barton)

Summer love, strangers to friends to lovers, Greece and Greek mythology references

Words: 1.5k

warnings: the start of the angst, social media au, third person pov

Masterlist

Official playlist

previous part | next part

a/n: we are at the start of the angst. It's about damn time his lie exploded him in his face! But don't hate Lando, love makes us do stupid things

Every way of feedback is very welcomed

Never in his life he felt the way he was feeling in that moment. 

He's a driver, a racing driver. He can drive a car that goes 300 km/h and leave his thoughts in the garage. He has no fear once he sits in the car. 

But right now, driving a camper and knowing that the girl was laying on the bed reading a book, he feels bad. Actually bad.

He feels like someone that committed a crime. He feels his heart heavy, bleeding, being scratched. He can hear his own heartbeat, with a white loud noise in his ears.

Ever since that night when she confessed her feelings, he couldn't sleep, making his mind work and punishing him, reminding every decision he had made the previous weeks. 

"You should have told her" his brain says. 

He can't tell her. Not now. Never. Maybe once he leaves he can text her explaining everything. Maybe she will understand, and forgive him.

Or maybe not.

For once, he wishes he was someone else. He wishes he's Logan, the guy that came to a town in Greece, that is a beginner DJ and has the most beautiful neighbor he has ever seen, who he fell in love with. 

He loves her. How can he not love her? She's the girl of his dreams. She can cook whatever he likes. She plays video games. She is so passionate about what she likes. She's interesting, mysterious. And the most important thing is that she loves him too.

No. She doesn't love Lando. She loves Logan.

"Logan? Are you okay?" she asked him, leaving the bed and walking towards him.

"My head hurts a little" he sighed shaking his head. "It's okay, I'll stop a little"

"I can drive, love" she sighed, placing her hands on his shoulders and kissing his cheek. "Just stop the camper whenever you can and we can switch"

"No, it's okay" he sighed. "You said there's a town with a beach nearby. Maybe we can spend the rest of the day there"

"Okay" she smiled, kissing his cheek again.

Every kiss she gives him burns like fire on his skin. Every hug, every tender touch, every moan feels like daggers on his heart. 

And he knows damn well that he deserves every dose of pain he receives because of that.

He stopped caring about their surroundings. He held her all the time they were in public, kissing her whenever they stood in front of something amazing. He wants to enjoy every second next to her.

He stopped using his phone. He deleted every social media app had: Twitter, Instagram, Tik Tok. Everything. Sometimes he texts his family to let them know that he's still alive, but nothing more.

She felt so happy. So happy around him to the point of wanting to leave this place and go wherever he goes.

She feels like a girl that finds true love for the first time. Like a teen that opens a letter of the boy she likes telling her that he feels the same way as her.

She feels joy and love, something she never felt in her life. Her family didn't love her, they made everything possible to make her life a living hell. She was forced to get married to a man she barely knew, forced to go through the experience a bride should go through when she loves a man. 

She felt free, able to do whatever she wanted, live wherever she wanted, study what she loved, and love how she wanted to love.

She chose who she can trust. Who can know her past, who will have her contacts.

Lily Barton was dead. She was Lily, who was sent by the Gods to help the people of that town. And she believed that, she wanted to be someone else so bad, she wanted to erase from earth her origins.

Logan came to her life when she didn't know she needed someone.

He was a man so easy to love and so simple, yet so complicated at the same time. She learned how to love him, how to cherish him and make him feel how he deserves.

They let their carnal desires do the work and then they let their hearts talk, getting into something that seemed like summer love.

"Oh, Logan! Look at that!" she gasped, holding his hand and walking around the town they discovered.

They were traveling around the country like a couple, taking pictures of each other and doing things people in love would do. The exterior world didn't exist.

Both of them tried to ignore the feeling of a farewell. Both of them know that once they arrive at Parga, they will have to say goodbye.

And she hates feeling that way. She hates thinking that she won't sleep next to him anymore, wake up next to him or kiss him. 

Does she regret falling for him? No. Not at all. 

Love is beautiful, and loving him is even more beautiful.

And blind.

It was supposed to be a calm summer. He wanted to have a calm summer without problems.

He regrets lying to her. He regrets not telling him who he is. He regrets everything.

But not loving her. He doesn't regret the kisses and the laughs. He loves Lily no matter what will happen.

"Logan, really, are you okay?" she sighed, hugging him and placing her head on his chest.

It was the perfect moment to tell her. But… why can't he do that? Why is he feeling a hand choking his throat?

"I am… don't worry" he whispered, hugging her. "I don't want to arrive to Parga… I don't want to say goodbye"

"I don't want to say goodbye neither" she whispered.

She can't see his tears. She can't see his panic, how it increases every kilometer he drives closer to Parga. 

What started as a perfect trip with the girl he started to love, is finishing as a nightmare, hunting him even in his sleep.

"I wish I could go with you" she sighed, drawing shapes on his chest. "To the parties you make, and listen to your music"

He didn't say anything. What parties? What music? What he does is drive a car in circles. Sure, he likes to go to parties and tries to be a DJ, but for fun. 

"You would get bored" he whispered. "And you belong here, Lily… the people of Parga need you"

"Before I came here I had a different life, Logan" she frowned. "I can live wherever I want"

"Lily, no" he sighed. "You fought to come here…"

She felt how something changed in him. He was distant, trying to avoid talking about him. And it hurt her. 

She trusted him, she told him everything about her. He did too, but when she asked about his family or about his job, he always changed subjects.

Love is blind. And she was so in love with Logan.

The day they arrived to Parga, they didn't notice the people looking at them when they drove down the streets towards their apartments. They didn't notice the people talking, gossiping. 

The rumors spread quickly: the driver and their girl, both of them together. 

None of them saw that coming. No one imagined that the mysterious girl would fall in love with the foreigner.

"Is it me or everyone is looking at us?" Lily asked him, taking their things out of the camper.

"Let it be, Lily" he sighed. "I'm sure they were asking where have you been"

"Yeah… maybe" 

She walked inside the camper to grab their backpacks and their phones. Lily noticed his phone was burning, it had a lot of notifications on it, but she decided to ignore it.

"Can you undo my backpack? I urgently need to take a shower" she sighed when they walked inside her apartment.

"Of course, don't worry" he smiled, kissing her cheek and taking the bags to her bedroom.

She was relaxed, humming softly a song that was stuck in her mind. She was happy to be back, but at the same time she was sad. Logan has to leave in a few days.

Meanwhile, after he placed her things in her room, he sat on the bed looking at his phone.

He's in trouble. People saw them together. He let the guard down and stopped looking around to check if someone recognized him. And now because of that there are a lot of pictures of him kissing and hugging her.

"What can I do?" he sighed, talking with Carlos, leaving the call on speaker while he folded her clothes. "I'm so screwed, dude. I don't know how to fix this"

"I told you from the very first minute that you had to tell her the truth" he sighed. "This was a balloon and it's going to explode soon"

"It won't" he frowned. "I can't let her know!"

"Then what? Are you going to run away and not show up again? Are you that cruel? I never imagined you could do something like this" the Spanish man sighed. "I'm so disappointed with you, man…"

"I… I just…" Lando mumbled, sitting on the bed and feeling how he was drowning.

"I know, you love her" he sighed. "But you deserve whatever happens. In that way you'll learn the lesson"

"And how? How should I tell Lily? How should I tell her that I'm not who she thinks I am?" Lando asked, hopeless.

"Tell me what?"

taglist

@lestappenloverr @racinggirl @roni-midnights @livster8 @kakorrhaphiphobia @starkeyellow @celestialpierre @ophcelia @msliz @lorarri @ironmaiden1313 @imsorare @mycenterfold @im-an-overthinker @soosheee @karmabyfernando @landoyesrizz @sticksdoesart @beatricemiruna

[frostbite-the-bat]

no but genuinely. i love shadow filbo dearly. he means a lot to me.

he marks a time for me where i began embracing what i like just... for the sake of it!

he embodies the things that inspired me to draw online in the first place. hell, sparklecat characters with bangs have made me stop cutting my hair. i haven't cut my hair properly since. just because i wanted the same bangs, not knowing how hair works. now i have what is best described as messy fluttershy hair. to many people just how long my hair is, is what defines me when they see me and my hair is in a way special to me.

and again - he was what inspired me to draw. in class i'd be drawing my own sparklecats at the age of like 8, with bangs and wings and little companions that sit on clouds that rain hearts. (and bolts and skulls when ANGRY!)

i put rainbows on everything. i thought nyan cat was the embodiment of everything good in the world. i listened to nightcore versions of songs only. i say, as i am listening to nightcore, right now.

because of all these old classic animation memes and sparklefurs and silly scene and emo song flash animations i'd find... i'd pick up ms paint and draw. i imagined just how i'd animate, finding even the simplest methods absolutely mesmerising. there is something to be said about me being this young with internet access - because it very much so had it's negative effects. not me watching fetish videos at the age of 8 just because it had pokemon in it. yea that did not have any lasting effects.

but despite all this shit - it raised me! and even just a few years later... like.. 2015 when i began posting online on deviantart for the first time, not being just a lurker... learning how The Computer works better - not only drawing on paper anymore and gaining more and more interest towards digital art... i was already nostalgic towards these earlier days. but still living IN it, y'know?

just having fun, doing my own thing! isn't that what art is all about?

well. then the cringe culture nation attacked. severe bullying at school. and in general, just shame - which i am still fighting in certain aspects. but it's a bit more complicated than just "shame". (more so fear of Things.)

i'd look back at things with either genuine "cringe" or a distaste. how DARE these people have fun? because deep down, i was simply jealous.

if i was going to reference anything old like this, like classic animation memes, it was framed as "JOKE" "NOT SERIOUS" because i feared i would be harassed, made fun of, or people would thing THAT is the best of my artistic abilities. but... it's not like that.

and now, more and more people are embracing this. and it makes me so happy. and shadow filbo helped me fight off these fears a lot and just let me love what i love and be myself.

maybe it's not an ""aesthetic"" that completely defines me, maybe it IS a tik tok trend to do nowadays - but i don't care. without any of this i wouldn't be here. those were my first inspirations. silly colorful cats animated to crunchy mp3s of songs using movie maker and 3 (three!) frames drawn in ms paint. it had so much charm. it had so much genuinity. and i could feel it even back then.

without it i might've not been here as i am now. there are so many things that go into this, of course. but i simply would not be the exact way i am. and i dunno. that's something to think about.

thank you so much, shadow filbo. one "mistake" with you i've had was thinking i should be a good creator of something and respond to every fan and fanart, which only stressed me out. i have... opinions! about being recognized in various places and, as some dub, a "NICHE INTERNET MICROCELEBRITY" (nothing against you fox </3).... yeah! not a fan.

another mistake was dubbing him as a "joke" always. and... he is! he is humorous! i am a jokey person! i like crunchy shitposts! i like being the reason people laugh! i will go to certain levels to even ridicule myself just for the bit, and i don't mind it. i'm hyper(active) and i am just a jokey person, that's that. but... him being called a joke was honestly just a shield from people taking him too seriously.

if people were to mock me for being nostalgic for nightcore, and rainbows, and edgy amvs, sparkledogs, scene culture and clothes, rave songs... all this!

but... no! people loved it! people loved it so much, it moved THEM to create art!

me, referencing things that made ME inspired to draw all those years ago - then inspired OTHERS to draw other things. to embrace themselves. to have fun. to connect.

it means so much to me. it's a bit odd to comprehend, too.

but it means the world to me. sorry if i am ever annoying about shadow filbo, and is often the first thing i bring up when bugsnax is brought up - but he is the highlight of my experience with bugsnax.

thank you so much, shadow filbo. and me and my wretched little claws, of course. for making them. and those that inspired me. those old friends i lost along the way, too. and those, that inspired those that inspired me. and so forth.

thank you.

[thegrowngirlguide]

Give Gifts, Give Life

Hello, Hello, I have returned! I always come back after all!

Despite all the FNAF references in this post, this won't be a FNAF post or discussion. But HEY, I am very open to it! Still this is about something else.

Earlier, I was here checking the news, including my almost empty inbox, where I found a message I thought I never received.

Back in 2018, I was a big fan of Joanne Harris, the writer, especially because of her books "Chocolate" and "The Gospel of Loki". Her writing is simple and completely understandable. In the second book that was mentioned, her writing is so comical and yet accurate to what the old norse writings wrote about those gods. It makes you think that even in the most desperate moments of your life, a good laugh might help you bring you back on your feet.

In the same year, I learned that she had a tumblr page, where she would write to her fans, give advice and explain some things about her writing process. The more you read through her little blog, the more you realized how sweet and approachable she was. So, one day, I tried my luck.

I wrote this:

Hey, Joanne! I'm a huge fan of your writing (even though I read only two of your amazing books). I love writing as well and some people told me that I actually have the talent for it (and that someday I should try and write a book myself). If you could give me any tip or advice, what would it be? Lots of love, Joana

Always thinking that she wouldn't even reply or that she would be too busy to give me an answer.

Yet, she did.

The day before my birthday, she replies to that question from a young aspiring writer. Simply saying:

My first piece of advice is: start now. Writing takes a lot of practice - so don’t plan to do it someday: start now; enjoy it; try to make it as good as you can. And good luck! Joanne

It may seem like a basic answer. Maybe even the obvious answer to anyone who wants to be a writer. Lots of practice and reviewing and drafting. Eventually, something good will come out!

One of my biggest issues is quitting when I encounter a dead end. Regardless of the project. If there's a dead end in writing, I discard the story. If there's a dead end in my art, I get rid of it. It's like the whole effort was worthless and that it has no contribution to my learning process. This is probably where I am wrong.

When people say that making mistakes is a big part of a learning process, they are correct. Still, we don't realize it until we make the mistake and then learn how to fix it. And this applies for a multitude of things. Our jobs, our art, our expressions and all things in life. We shouldn't quit with our first mistake. We shouldn't let our need for instant perfection lead us to quit doing the things we love the most.

That is why I must subscribe to Joanne's words. If you want to try something, do it. Be it a Tik Tok. Instagram. A book. A game. A job. That's what makes life a fun adventure. You don't need to be bold and outstanding. If you want to try, it won't hurt.

My writing skills may not be top-notch, and my blog may not have a huge following, but I find true happiness and satisfaction in expressing myself through writing. It may not be perfect, but it is authentic and gives me a sense of fulfillment. I appreciate the opportunity to share my thoughts and experiences with others, and I hope that my words resonate with someone else going through similar experiences.

I hope you get to experience this sort of fulfillment as well.

Always remember to be kind and understanding, communicate, drink water, eat some good food, brush your teethies and never ever ever forget, I love you!

Yours Truly

[dinsverdika]

I wonder if there's even been generational disconnect between Feral and Maul and Savage. Feral says something to them using slang that the Youth™ uses and Savage and Maul just look at each other like "what the hell did he say?"

[sillysunshinesstuff]

I posted 1,767 times in 2022

19 posts created (1%)

1,748 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@autisticredhood

@aalghul

@dick-nightwing-grayson

@ameba-from-space

@autistic-damian-wayne

I tagged 175 of my posts in 2022

#favorite - 69 posts

#jason todd - 12 posts

#red hood - 8 posts

#tik tok - 7 posts

#prev tags - 4 posts

#this - 4 posts

#amazing - 3 posts

#reference - 2 posts

#robin!jason - 2 posts

#this is - 2 posts

Longest Tag: 100 characters

#bruce and dick: im going to take you in because i see myself in you and i want to change the outcome

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

This fandom is very funny to me because if a somebody says something pro-batc*st, everybody just instantly blocks them and goes about their day.

But if somebody even breathes about coffee addict!Tim, not even god himself could protect them from this fandom's wrath.

This is y'all during:

And y'all after:

See the full post

69 notes - Posted January 2, 2022

#4

yeah idk ur just being really aggressive right now. maybe you should read a "Jason rejoins the family" fic and calm down.

87 notes - Posted February 7, 2022

#3

Can we start a conversation about this please because this really was the line that made me want to rip out my organs for this kid

109 notes - Posted March 11, 2022

#2

Middle class DC fans will make up the most batshit stupid headcanons about Jason and justify it by saying "he was poor so it makes sense." Y'all will literally be like,

"He probably didn't know what a cat was because he was poor."

"He couldn't see the color white because he was poor"

"He didn't know who Elmo was because he was poor"

"He couldn't read so Bruce taught him because he was poor"

"He couldn't make a sandwich without devouring the jar of mayo because he was poor"

"He didn't know there were 50 states in the US because he was poor"

"He couldn't understand that 7 8 9 because he was poor"

"The first time he watched TV was when Bruce took him in because he was poor"

"He didn't know what a marshmallow tasted like because he was poor"

"He befriended the rats on the street because he was poor. Also he's a street rat." (DON'T USE STREET RAT AS A TAG FOR HIM ON AO3????)

"He cries every time Alfred cooks pasta because he was poor"

"He insinerates gay people with his eyes because he was poor"

Can y'all just shut the fuck up and accept you don't know shit about being poor. You sound fucking ridiculous.

198 notes - Posted January 26, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

See the full post

274 notes - Posted January 14, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[mde1011]

some quotes i jotted down from that wonderful stream of tommy‘s (some lore spoilers)

“do you smoke sam” “all the time”

“i thought you were talking about the- the speeeeed drug”

“have you ever sold drugs to kids sam?” “......no”

“shecure is a hard word how do you say it? secure? shecure?” “...secure...?”

“we can’t let the girlboss rule because she will gatekeepe my feelings” “that would not be pog”

“THEY DIDNT INVITE ME TO KILL ME???? NOW I HAVE FOMO”

“i’ll load it up king- ive started saying king a lot” “yeah yeah i’ve noticed i like it” “you are admittedly a king sam so”

“strong man” “how does TWIG rhyme with STRONG??????”

“you have obviously taken part in scientology-“ “i have not-“ “you’ve donated to tom cruises cult shit”

“....am i worse than david dobrik?” “are- are we worse than david dobrik?” “oh- oh god”

“cAPTAIN PUFFY IS YOUR LAWYER????” “she IS? I HAVE A LAWYER THATS NOT BIG Q OR BIG LAW?”

“DONT TELLL RANBOO IM UPSET IM NOT UPSET IM FINE IM FINE”

“............howd the talk with the lawyer go.....sounded like it went pretty well” “sam. samuel” “oh god what’s happening you called me samuel”

“gotta go get some la-piss”

“come and hang out i am live it will be nice come and hang out kings” “o-oh you just pinged the WHOLE discord wow-“ “maybe vikkstar will come”

“doNT SAY YOURE LOVING THIS CHAT I AM IN PERIL”

“he has broke one of the rules of the hit best seller ‘the bible’- this kind of looks like a cock”

“well i’ve moved now, KING”

“what is an angsty teen and am i one? because when i USED to hang out with tubbo and ranboo they used the word angst a lot”

“yeah yeah yeah i bench”

“sam i think i’m angsty i think i’m an angsty tik tok teen looking for a community to help me out”

“i don’t think you’ve followed the train of logic all the way-“ “there’s a TRAIN INVOLVED????????”

“i’m like the orange fucker from that animated rom com”

“THIS IS WHO I NEEDED RIGHT NOW IM IN PERIL I AM ANGRY- oh wait that’s wrong that’s wrong-“ “angry is different from angsty”

“i need a lawyer and they need to be big and strong and angry and ready to fight”

“what’s wrong with killing somebody?” “.........HEY nononononono don’t think i forget when you locked me in there you- you PSYCO FREAK” “you should talk to your lawyer about that”

📷

“i can read minds” “what am i th-“ “tits” “what”

“shUT UP PUSSY”

“you just- you just do NOT have blue balls”

“you think this guy will win?” “SHUT THE FUCK UP” “I LIKE THIS GUY”

“STOP STARING AT MY TIE YOU ARE OBJECTIFYING ME” “I DONT MEAN TO-“ “U ARE-“ “ITS A WONDERFUL TIE-“

“i can’t look away it’s just so-“

“i’m under the influence of big cock”

“it’s meeee big cock man”

“i cant look away” “sam please use your twitter alt for this” “he’s horny on maaaainnnnn” “and what’s wrong with that?” “.......”

“you’re a FUCKING IDIOT” “IM NOT A FUCKING IDIOT, BIG COCK”

“i’m gonna call you ‘cockity’ big cock” “sHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FUCK UP-“

“STOP LOOKING AT IT” “ITS SO VIBRANT”

“at least this guy doesn’t have a cock-“ “itS NOT A COCK” “horny on main jesus-“

“is that a cock” “SHUT THE FUCK UP”

“.....i wanna see the inside of it again do a split”

“i heard....i heard there is a big cock in town....”

“why did you say that to me jesus” “did you just come for the cock?”

“nOOOO JESUS JESUS GO AWA-“

“okay sam-“ “tommy that guy wants your cock-“ “no- no he doesn’t sam”

“i- i just looked to my right and the entire chat is just ‘E E E E E I’”

“sam, sam and i need you to hear this....dont. act. up.” “i don’t act up-“ “you were acting up-“ “i-“ “you were caught in 8k.” “but- but we both agree it’s not a tie-“

“please don’t tell me to kill cockity i am overwhelmed”

“why is there an anus in my tie?”

“what are the legal implications of this?” “...i mean besides hell you’re good”

“jack mana-bitch”

“whatre the legal implications?” “i mean usually that’s a no-no but today, today it’s fine” “yeahhh lets go murder his family”

<Foolish_Gamers was blown up by awesamdude> “hahahahgahah” “wHY ARE YOU DEAD??? WHY IS OUR LAWYER DEAD” “that- killing jesus is a big no-no”

“jesus is back ayyyy” “three whole days ayyy he’s back from the cave” “that was three whole minutes” “he speedran it” “why didn’t he do that in the bestseller?” “are you referring to the best seller called ‘the bible’?”

“i’d be an antivax landlord”

“i’m real like are-kansas” “that’s not REAL” “it IS”

“you’re projecting your own problems onto me, puss” “wHAT THE FUCK”

“i just don’t want you to girlboss me”

“i am the girlboss and i will gatekeep” “you are a girlboss”

“we will join vc two and then we’re gonna gatekeep them and the we’re gonna gaslight them”

“that’s such a funny joke man-“ “it’s not a joke. dollywood is real”

“does anyone have cocaine?” “ooooh i remember when you did cocaine last night awesamdude”

“jesus never does drugs” “well- well you turned water into wine king and wine is alcohol”

“can you put on pants i can’t- i cant stop looking at it- sorry tommy i know you said-“ “yeah sam i know you tried-“

“you know i fuck with satan”

“i’m sorry jesus lucifer is just such a good man-“ “oh you- hold me BACK FROM THIS FUCKER HOLD ME BACK ILL SEND HIM TO HELL YOU LIKE HELL-“

“are you jesus or just a man who grew a beard and put on a suit?”

“even the guy with his cock out is telling you to stop-“ “oh jesus, and i mean jesus-“ “shUT THE FUCK UP MAN”

“the best best way to slander him is to stop his offspring; we need to kick him the balls.....no? not a good....? alright us four each take a ball-“

“......jack manifold has four balls?”

“......why did jesus give him four scrotums man🙁🙁”

<Quackity fell from a high place>

<awesamdude> BIG COCK DOWN

[nothingbutimagines]

The Set Up (Tom Holland)

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Warning: Cursing, mentions of drug use, sibling bickering, a bit of angst

Summary: When Y/n comes back home for the holiday season to visit family after another long semester at Uni, her family takes it upon themselves to invite her old crush, Tom, to Christmas dinner in the hopes of setting the two up together. 

Author: Dizzy

A/N: Oh geez, Christmas is approaching very quickly! Hope you all have been able to get all your Christmas shopping done (I know I haven’t)! Tomorrow is going to be a cute little Harrison Osterfield fic, so keep your eyes peeled, and today is Tom Holland as well as a few other fics I hadn’t gotten the chance to put together until today since I fell ill for a few days. 

Masterlist Request Any Of These Peter Parker/Tom Holland Masterlist

__________________

“Y/n, what are you wearing?” Your mother asked, causing you to turn away from the plate of cookies you were eating off of. 

“Uh, a hoodie and jeans?” You muttered, your statement sounding more like a question as you paused, mid bite.

“Are you really wearing that to dinner tonight? We’re going to the steakhouse.”

“I mean,” You swallowed, “I have a sweater on underneath.”

“What happened to that cute little dress I left for you on your bed?” 

“Mom, no one else is wearing a dress. Why would I?” You asked, brushing your hands off before sighing. “Lucy and Charlie are wearing sweaters and jeans too.”

“Your sisters are younger, they’re hard to get into dresses.”

“They’re 16 and 18. Not that young.” You argued. “I’m not wearing a dress. It’s just dinner with the family. You, me, Dad, Lucy, Charlie, and David. And you have all seen me at my ugliest.”

“Well, what if you run into someone you’re interested in?” Your mother asked, following you closely as you walked out of the kitchen and into the hallway. 

“Like who? Tom?” You scoffed. “Mom, I know you love Tom, but I don’t. And I know you want me to get a boyfriend, but this is getting ridiculous. Last Christmas you set me up on a date with Ms. Chasten’s nephew and now you’re telling me to pick up a guy at a restaurant?” 

“No, I wasn’t saying Tom. I know you said you no longer have a crush on him, but I’m just saying, what if you see a man you might want to date? Wouldn’t you want to look your best?”

You turned around, placing a hand on your mother’s shoulder as you smiled at her warmly. “Mom, I love you, but I’m not going to get a boyfriend just because you want me to. And I’m sure as hell never seeing Tom again, as much as I know you’d like me to.”

“Are you two ready to get going? We have a reservation to get to.” Your father interrupted, pulling his coat tighter around him. 

“Yeah, yeah. Let me get my coat on.” You pushed past the two, making your way to the door and grabbing your coat off the rack. 

You quickly pulled your hoodie over your head, hanging it up in place of your coat before pulling your coat over you. You quickly wrapped a scarf around your neck as the rest of your family began congregating by the door. 

“I thought you were going to wear a dress.” Lucy stated, looking up at you as you followed everyone out the door. 

“No, I wasn’t. Why is everyone trying to bully me into wearing a dress?” 

Lucy shrugged. “Maybe it’s because you’re ugly.”

“You’re ugly.” 

“No, I’m not. If anyone is the ugly, it’s David.”

“I heard that.” David grumbled as you piled into the car. “And for the record, if anyone is the ugly one it’s you, Luce. That’s just because you have a bad attitude and make unfunny tik toks.”

“I thought you said you liked my tik toks!” 

“I lied.” David stated, turning back around in his seat, now facing forward.

You laughed as he turned, only to receive a small pinch on your arm from Lucy, who was pouting beside you like a child. 

“Ow! That hurts, you brat!” You gasped, pushing her away and knocking her into the side of the car. “Luce, you’re like 16, cut it out!”

“And you’re like 21 but I have a boyfriend and you don’t!” 

“That’s not even a valid argument in this conversation.”

“I know, I was trying to be a bitch.” 

“You’re already a bitch. You don’t even have to try.” David interrupted, turning back around to face you both. 

“Dad! David called me a bitch!” Lucy whined as you rolled your eyes, gazing into the eyes of your younger brother who had the same expression on his face.

“David,” Your father gazed back into the rear view mirror, “it’s not polite to talk about other people’s shortcomings.” 

You started to laugh loudly, giving your younger sister a shove as the car slowed to a stop in the restaurant parking lot. 

“I hate you all.” Lucy pouted, shoving you back as you all climbed out of the car. 

“I can’t believe I still have to say this,” Your mother shook her head as you all walked into the lobby of the restaurant, “be on your best behavior, all of you, okay?”

“Hey!” Charlie spoke up, making you realize you had forgotten she was even there. “I didn’t do anything!”

“I didn’t say anyone did anything, I am just reminding you all that this is a very special evening, okay?” 

You nodded, still chuckling as you glanced over at your brother, who still had the same smirk on his face as he had in the car. You followed the group along with the hostess to your table, taking a seat before realizing there was an extra place setting beside you. 

“Oh, uh, I think there’s a mistake here.” You waved the hostess over. “There should just be six place settings.”

The hostess frowned slightly, confused. “Oh. I thought the reservation said seven people.” 

“It did.” Your mother interrupted. “The other guest will be here shortly, thank you.”

You watched the hostess nod and walk away. You turned back to your mother, furrowing your brows as you looked at her, confused. 

“I’m sorry, who else is joining us?” You asked, the confusion evident in your tone. 

“Tom!” Your mother smiled, her line of sight leading above you as you followed it, to come face to face with the boy she was referring to. 

“Hello, Mrs. L/n, and everyone else. Sorry I’m a bit late, there was some traffic.” Tom explained shyly, slipping his coat off and hanging it on his chair as he took a seat beside you. “Hi, Y/n.” 

“Hi, Tom.” You nodded at him as the inner turmoil had begun to stir in the back of your mind. 

“Oh, honey, don’t worry about it, we were just seated.” Your mother waved, almost as if she was apologetic herself. “I’m just glad you could make it.” 

“I think I’m going to go to the bar to get something to drink.” You announced, rising from your seat as you grabbed your small purse. “David, why don’t you come with me?” 

“Oh, I don’t think I’m all that thirsty.” 

“I wasn’t asking.” You muttered, giving him a look as he rose from his seat, now following you away from the table and in the direction of the bar. 

“Before you say anything-”

“How could you not have told me Tom was coming?” You snapped, causing the younger man to flinch.

“Uh.” David averting your gaze, trying to find something to say.

“Since when do you keep secrets?” 

“Since when do you cower at the sight of men?” David retorted, taking a seat on a bar stool as you followed in suit.�� 

“You didn’t answer my question.” 

“And you didn’t answer mine.” He huffed. “Ladies first.” 

“Ugh, fine.” You groaned, rolling your eyes. “I cower at the sight of Tom since he came with to drop me off at uni last year.” 

“Why? I thought that went really well.” 

“No, it didn’t. You were high the entire trip anyway, I doubt you remember it at all.”

“Wait, so you didn’t share a kiss with Tom?” He asked, scratching his head. “Cause I didn’t think that was a weed hallucination, but now I’m not sure.”

“No, I did kiss Tom. But, that’s not the problem.” You shook your head. “I kissed Tom outside my building when you and Charlie were still packing up the car, which is why you remember seeing that, but then I ran off before he could say anything because it was obvious how he felt about me by the way he reacted to the kiss.”

“The way he reacted? What does even that mean? Like he didn’t kiss back?” 

“Uh, yeah. Not at all. So I ran off and avoided his texts and calls forever and I haven’t talked to him since because it’s embarrassing.”

“Don’t you think maybe he didn’t kiss back because he was in shock?” David suggested, letting you think for a moment as he turned away to order a few drinks. 

You thought for a moment, unsure of your own memories from the trip. You could only remember small portions of events, such as smoking with your siblings and Tom, Tom pulling you aside to talk, and you kissing him. You paused, going back to the earlier memory of Tom asking to talk to you. What was he wanted to talk about? You couldn’t remember and didn’t get the chance to dig around your own thoughts as David snapped his fingers at you. 

“Hey, earth to Y/n. I got our drinks, let’s get back before Mom sends a search and rescue team.” 

“Yeah, yeah.” You got up from your seat, drink in hand as you followed him to the table and took your seat beside Tom. 

“Y/n,” Tom glanced over at you, a bright smile on his face, “your mother was just telling me you got on the Dean’s list?”

You swallowed the lump in your throat, placing your drink down on the table and placing your napkin in your lap, attempting to avoid eye contact. 

“It’s not that great, I mean, as long as you get over a 3.5, you’re on the list.” You explained, shrugging it off. 

“No, no, that’s way cooler than anything I’m doing. I mean, I’m just an acting major. You’re doing what? Pre-med?”

“Pre-law.” You corrected. “Pays about the same and is not as much schooling. But, acting sounds really cool. Sounds more fun.”

Tom shrugged. “I guess. I mean, I’m taking this improv class and it’s absolutely the worst thing I could’ve taken.”

“Oh! I take improv at school!” Charlie chimed in, excitedly bouncing in her seat. 

“Oh yeah?” Tom raised a brow, taking a drink from his glass before setting it down beside yours. “Maybe after we have dinner, you can show me some of your skills.”

Charlie shook her head. “I never said I was any good.”

The table erupted in a bout of laughter as you gave a small chuckle, your mind elsewhere while you picked up your glass, taking a drink of it. 

“Uh, I think that’s mine.” Tom leaned over, his breath hot on your ear as he spoke lowly. 

You choked on the drink a bit, coughing slightly as you set the glass down and looked at him apologetically. 

“Shit. Sorry.” 

“It’s alright. It’s not like we haven’t exchanged spit before.” Tom stated coolly, smirking slightly.

“I don’t backwash into drinks.” You retorted, attempting to not acknowledge his last statement fully. 

“I don’t know, you might.” Tom said, picking up the glass and swirling it around with his hand, pretending to inspect it. 

“Well, if you’re so worried, I’ll buy you another drink.”

“Oh, I’m not worried, but if you’re offering another drink, I will gladly take it.” 

“Hey, lovebirds, I’d look at the menu if I were you, otherwise Mom’s going to order for you.” David interrupted, nodding towards the waitress that was at the table. 

You gave him a glare before looking down at your menu, deciding to order the first thing you set your eyes on since you didn’t have much time before the waitress’s attention was on you.

“I see your brother is still snappy as ever.” Tom muttered after the moment of silence you shared. 

“You know how he is. He’s not so bad with me, definitely on his last straw with Lucy, though.”

Tom opened his mouth to speak before being interrupted by the waitress. You quickly ordered your food, Tom doing the same before you turned your attention back to the conversation. 

You weren’t sure what the young man’s plan was, why he was so insistent on talking your ear off when you had practically ghosted him like an ex-boyfriend for almost a year prior to the current exchange. You wanted to shrug it off, but you couldn’t get past it and it tortured you more for Tom to be so kind to you than it had ignoring him. 

It’s not that you were okay with ghosting him in the past, in fact, you felt like it was a true breakup without you having ever been with Tom. It was a stupid, little interaction that you could’ve talked about and explained away had you actually given him a chance to speak to you, but instead you let your own pride get in the way of that. 

“Y/n, did you hear what I said?” Tom asked, his hand resting on yours. 

You blinked for a moment, clearing your throat and slipping your hand from under his as you shook you head. “No, sorry, what did you say?”

“Oh, don’t take it personally, Tom,” Your father started, “Y/n’s always in her own head. She never really hears anyone.”

“Dad, it’s fine.” You shook your head again. “What did you say, Tom?”

“I asked if you wanted to get a drink and speak privately for a moment.” 

“I don’t know if that’s such a good idea.” 

“I think it is,” Your mother stated, now interrupting. “You two go ahead. We’ll come get you when the food comes.”

You mentally cursed yourself and your parents as you followed Tom’s motions, setting down your napkin alongside his and rising from your seat. You allowed him to place a hand on your lower back and guide you away from the group and to the bar, much to your own internal dismay. 

“We need to talk.” Tom stated, taking a seat at the empty bar as he looked at you.

You crossed your arms over your chest. “Is that why you came tonight? Just to confront me? You could’ve just called if you wanted that.” 

“I would’ve if you didn’t block me.” Tom asserted himself before pointing to the empty seat beside him. “And have a seat, please, it’s weird that you’re just standing there.”

You took a seat beside him, leaning away from him and against the bar, as if you wanted to put as much space between you both. 

“I came tonight because I wanted to see you, not just talk about how you drop kicked me out of your life.” 

“I wouldn’t say I drop kicked you...” 

“You kissed me, ran away in a split second, and then proceeded to block me. I think that is the definition of drop kicking someone.” 

“Actually, I think it’s when you jump up and kick someone.” You joked, attempting to redirect the conversation away from your mistakes. 

“I’m about to drop kick you if you don’t take this seriously.” 

“I’m sorry.” 

“For what? Drop kicking me or making a joke out of it when I’m trying to be vulnerable with you?”

“Both.” You shifted in your seat, uncomfortable and feeling as though you were a child about to go to the principal’s office. “I’m not trying to hurt your feelings, I think I’m just trying to protect my own.” 

“David’s right, you are selfish and trying to talk to you was a mistake.” Tom shook his head, rising from his seat. 

“Tom, wait.” You grabbed his arm, only for him to shake you off. 

“I have been waiting, Y/n. I’ve been waiting the past year for you to talk to me or be willing to see me and every time I think you will, you disappoint.”

“Tom, I-”

“You know, I begged your parents to let me come here to see you, to spend time with your family? They didn’t ask me. Once I realized you were never going to speak to me again over something so stupid, I had to swallow my own pride, unlike you, just to see you again.” Tom ran a hand through his hair, attempting to calm down as he looked away from you. “I swallowed my own pride to see you choking on yours and still acting as if I was the one in the wrong somehow. You kissed me, you blocked me. You didn’t even let me assess the situation before you did it for me and now I’m the bad guy?”

“I don’t think you’re a bad guy.” 

“Really? Because both Charlie and David have said multiple times that you claim that I rejected you when I never did. That you could just tell that I didn’t like you so you pushed me away when the truth was that I did like you. God, Y/n, I’d been in love with you since primary school and the one time I realized you reciprocated feelings, you ran away like you hadn’t.” 

“I’m sorry, okay?” You cried, falling back into your seat. “I didn’t think it would be a huge deal until it was and I was scared that the outcome of my actions wasn’t going to be the one I had been hoping for. When I kissed you, you didn’t seem to like it and when I ran, you didn’t chase after me and I took that as you not liking me and wanting to get the fuck out of the situation.” 

“But that’s what I’m saying, Y/n! You’re always so focused on yourself that you don’t even realize how other people are feeling. I tried to run after you, I did, but I lost you halfway up the stairs and I couldn’t remember your room number.” Tom explained, exasperated. “I even tried to call but you didn’t pick up and your brother and sister convinced me it was best to just go home so we did. I thought you needed space, but once it got to be so long, I didn’t know what to do.” 

“You really chased after me?”

“Of course I did. I loved you, Y/n. I wanted to be with you. I’m here because I still do, but I’m starting to think this was a mistake. I should go, I shouldn’t have come in the first place.”

Tom straightened up before turning on his heel and starting to walk back to the table to collect his things and leave. 

You watched as he did so, something in you pulling you up off of your seat and making you grab him by the arm even though you wanted to cower away like you once had before. 

Tom turned towards you, about to say something when you collided your lips with his, the action feeling more natural than it had the first time you kissed him. He melted into you, his free hand resting on your hip as he kissed back, causing you to smile at the gesture before pulling away. 

“Please, Tom, don’t go.” You whispered. “I want you to stay. I want to make it up to you for all the heartache and lost time. I never meant to hurt you and I was being selfish and that wasn’t fair. I want to try to work something out with you.” 

“If I stay will you buy me that drink you promised?”

“I’ll do anything if you stay.” 

Tom looked away for a moment, as if he was pondering something. “Hmm. I’ll think about it.”

“Tom, please.” 

“Fine, I will stay, but only because I already ordered food.” Tom joked, raising his hands defensively as you pouted and gave him a look. “I’m kidding! I want to stay and work something out, I swear.”

[a-shakespearean-in-paris]

Why Cullen?

Today I bring you a post I’ve been in the process of mentally drafting for a while, a post that essentially analyzes the age old question in the Dragon Age fandom: Why is there always something with Cullen?

To do this, I am going to go through different “phases” of Cullen discourse. My thesis and answering the titular question: It’s complicated, and I don’t think I can answer “Why Cullen,” but “there’s sometimes recycled discourses made about his character through the years, maybe there’s a pattern.” When it comes to Cullen’s detractors, I understand the fact that it might be frustrating to see much content for someone so “boring” when there’s more “interesting” and “well done” characters (though interest is of course relevant) so it leads to a lot of vitriol from both new and old fans who think the man had too much screen time already. Furthermore, he is highly complicated man dressed as a Disney prince, and the “Disney-esque” feel of his romance creates a dissonance between coming to terms with his problematic past and reveling in the romanticism. We can have a happy medium everyone,  but because of what I can only describe as “tik tok thought” it’s become looked down upon to have problematic favorites, which leads to guilt in liking something problematic, or outright revisionism.

But liking things with problematic elements doesn’t make you a bad person.

Alright, let’s begin: 

The first phase truly began of course with DAO with Cullen’s crush on the female Circle Mage Warden. Some were endeared, others not so much. I cannot speak to this phase too much as I was around 15-16 and pretty preoccupied with my high school drama instead of fandom, though I played both DAO and DA2 upon it’s release and followed updates for DA2 before it came out. Despite not being an active fandom member I was what they would call, a lurker. I knew some people liked Cullen and thought he was cute, wishing for more screen time after the game and hoping he’d be in DAI through IMDB message boards (remember those?) and YoutTube comments. When news broke he’d be an advisor in DAI and a romance option, I remember seeing a lot of people in those same spaces rejoice. I’m sure there were also people who weren’t so pleased, but from what I saw, people were happy. When Inquisition did release, I actually did quite a bit more lurking on tumblr despite the fact I didn’t have a blog, because I played the romance route, really gravitated toward it, and wanted to see fanart and such. People liked the romance, liked his arc and how Bioware handled his struggles with lyrium; and found it realistic. Even in my lurking days I did see some blowback on Cullen from detractors, those who didn’t think he should have been the military advisor (which canonically it makes total sense to me why he’s where he’s at, but I won’t get into it here however.) But likely because I wasn’t fully “in fandom,” my surface level understanding of how tumblr felt about Cullen was relatively positive and there was only standard fare discourse.

Phase 2: I can speak about this phase better because I established this blog in 2017. Two years after DAI was released, you still had a lot of fans who loved his romance and character, but you also saw a lot of those fans really dive into his flaws, insisting even that just focusing on the Disney Prince aspects of him reduced his character. There were also more internal debates. Would realistically Cullen be a good father was one. One thing however was for sure, there was a strange them and us line between detractors and fans, and to many fans, myself included, oftentimes the Cullen blowback would extend beyond the valid, “hey I don’t think his characterization was handled well” or “his redemption arc isn’t that great” to outright vitriolic hate that blatantly ignored his PTSD and lyrium addiction, and even sometimes “you just like Cullen because he’s white.” As a POC fan it was a fantastic thing to be accused of. I used to be more involved with discord during this period and I remember a few discussions about this as well. Even those indifferent to Cullen didn’t get it.

Overall, I have to say the air was one where people in Cullen fandom enjoyed all aspects of him, from delving into this troubled past to indulging in the Disney prince aspects of him. It was a happy medium I think, even if occasionally I would see a Cullen fan feel bad for liking him, and feel like they needed to justify it. Heck I even did and still do feel that way sometimes, like I need to justify what I like. But we all come into fandom for different reasons. I come into fandom some days for different things. Sometimes I want smut with my favorite character, other times I want more intense thought pieces and challenging fics. Great thing about fandom is that it’s a bakery that has cherry tarts, cinnamon rolls, or all kinds of pie depending on your mood. Craving a different sweet treat, you can make your own. Or you can commission an artist or writer for something you fancy.

*(sexual assault mentions here late in the paragraph****)And now I’ve been warped back into Cullen/DA fandom through what I am calling phase three, where the general air on Cullen reads as….very different. After having one foot outside DA fandom for a while coming back and reading the air has been different. There was the bizarre nuggetgate and other things with Cullen. Now, instead of accepting his flaws and exploring him there seems to be a lot of revisionism going on, as if his past never happened or we’re supposed to ignore he was a templar. A sexually active Cullen is looked down upon but in a different way from before. Instead of smut works with him “reducing his complicated character.” it’s distasteful to write smut with him where he’s sexually dominant or even just a lot of smut because he was sexually assaulted. (***Now, it is implied that he was, if you are a female Circle mage in DAO, with “sifting through my thoughts, tempting me with the one thing I always wanted but could never have” but this is an implication. I will be honest, it is what I have implied. However, it’s not there if you’re not a female Mage. He was however canonically sexually harassed in the Winter Palace, something I will always argue, even if canon treats it like a joke, even if Leliana tells him to “just look pretty.” Just because he is a man doesn’t make it funny that someone grabbed his bottom, and if you take Cole he flat out says “Cullen is afraid.”***)

So here I am, wondering what changed and what’s going on. Here’s what I believe: Cullen is a complicated character and his flaws and his past make him interesting to me, and they are interesting to explore. However there is nothing wrong with wanting to just explore a romantic, sexual Cullen. He’s a character with many facets. He’s romantic, determined, nostalgic, stubborn, unrelenting, loyal, driven, all things that made him seem so real. Here we get to my theory: in today’s media “criticisms” I see people—particularly younger people—beat themselves up for liking something problematic. It’s like every time you engage with media that’s potentially problematic you have to write essays to yourself why it is so and hold yourself accountable. I see this on tik-tok a lot and why I refer to it as “tik tok thought.” Look at the way some young Hamilton fans talk about the musical, or heck even here, and you may see what I mean. It’s like if you don’t acknowledge the problematic aspects of the historical figures behind their fictional portrayals in the show you’re a bad person. Same thing with nostalgic Disney fans my age in younger, if you don’t clown on Ariel for “choosing a man over anything” (SHE LIKED THE SURFACE WORLD BEFORE SHE MET ERIC) you don’t get your brownie points.

I want to make it clear: being critical of media is good. I am glad I see young people and people my age think about the messages we are given in media, but somehow this is turned into ANALYZE EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME. Ya’ll I’m a grad student. I’m critical most of the time, when I come to my tumblr blog’s lawn I’m here mostly to have some fun, and hey sometimes my fun is being critical. But sometimes it isn’t. You do not have to always be critical. You do not have to beat yourself up for liking something that’s problematic or write an essay about why it is as if that’s your due diligence in stanning a fictional character. I’m going to be honest I used to kind of think I had to justify my likes once, especially because of the Cullen vitriol on tumblr. I worked overtime in my early fanfic efforts to try to prove to the world I knew Cullen was problematic for fear I’d be perceived as just an idiot horny fangirl. Well, let me tell you: I largely don’t think that way anymore. If I want to just enjoy writing some smut or reading some smut with him, I am. But I think there is a second part of this in Cullen fandom currently, a revisionism of his problematic elements. Now, if you have to do mental gymnastics with a character in an effort to ignore problematic elements, perhaps you don’t like the character that much. That’s totally okay. DA has many awesome characters to write about and stan.

So, why Cullen? For so many reasons a bit of a shit show has always followed this character. There’s a divide between fans and his detractors and sometimes there’s a divide within the Cullen fandom. What I can extrapolate for now is the need to keep him squeaky clean and safe and away from anything “problematic” because his of past, his templar roots, or the fact that he’s white when there are POC characters with less content. It reads as a guilt associated with liking him. But please, do not be guilty. He’s not real. Templars aren’t real, mages aren’t real, Cullen isn’t real. Here’s my advice, something I learned while in my directing class in college. What my teacher always said was direct what turns you on, direct a story that gets you thinking, gets you excited. What gets you thinking and excited in a fictional world may be tons of conflict and dramatics, or it may be peace and love. Sometimes it can be both or more. Don’t shame others for coming to a bakery and wanting blueberry when you want cherry, and the baker has both, especially if the baker labels each pie, especially if the recipe for the pie has some salt in it and people like the salt. We can have it all and enjoy it all. What we want in our fiction doesn’t always align with something we may want real life. Lots of people write Modern girl in Thedas stories. Ya’ll if that actually happened to one of us it would probably suck. I’d probably get killed and not even get to meet Cullen and pose around the desk to get things going, so I’d rather it not happen. However, it is fun to read about.

Again, don’t be guilty for liking Cullen, please. But if you have to do a lot of mental gymnastics to like Cullen, maybe you don’t like him at all. To that I say, there are many other amazing characters, or perhaps you could write your own.

[azucanela]

hitoshi hates birthdays [shinsou hitoshi x reader]

SUMMARY: shinsou hates birthdays, a lot. and he respects his mom, until she exposes to Y/N that it is in fact, his birthday.

WORD COUNT: 1.7k

WARNINGS: crack, kissing, mild pining, tik tok references, 

A/N: i peer pressured myself into writing shinsou because it is bb’s bday. so have this poorly written thing haha <3 pls forgive me 

Shinsou didn’t like birthdays. He never had, mostly because he was the kid who would throw a part just for no one to show up. Making friends had never been easy, even when his quirk had yet to manifest, along side the fear from those around him. Which is why, when it turned out his birthday was coming up, he just didn’t tell anyone. 

Birthdays sucked.

Of course, Shinsou needed to do something to keep his mom from lecturing him on how he had to start talking to people, fix his social life, especially now that he was going to such a prestigious school. The school was filled with pretentious dirtbags, that still thought bullying would do anything for their extremely fragile egos and self-esteem issues. 

Y/N had made that ‘prestigious’ school, a little more bearable, so naturally he made plans with her. The girl who punched someone in the face for him even though they didn’t know each other at all, at the time at least. Now, it seemed Shinsou couldn’t avoid the girl, not that he minded her company. Initially, he couldn’t help but wonder if maybe it was a prank. He couldn’t count the number of times he’d been asked out as a dare when he was in middle school.

Was it wrong that he expected the pattern to continue? 

It didn’t continue, of course. Y/N had stuck around, and she had yet to ask him out, much to Shinsou’s dismay. He’d found himself attracted to her ‘sunny’ disposition and constant cursing, he was also concerned for her well-being seeing as she could barely take care of herself. The fact that she was one of the most beautiful people he’d ever seen was a bonus.

Now, Shinsou couldn’t help but smile at the girl as they exited the movie theatre. She was beaming as she spoke about how she felt about the movie, the plot, that one character she really liked. Yeah, this is how he wanted to spend his birthday. 

“Honestly, can you believe he did that?” Y/N exclaimed, her gaze falling onto Shinsou as she expressed her shock, hands gesturing vividly around them. He found himself worrying that she would accidentally hit someone in the face int he midst of her rant.

Though he simply hummed in response, thinking for a moment, “yeah. I can.” 

She through her hands up, and Shinsou found himself gently bringing a hand to her arm to guide her away from a child she nearly elbowed. “How could he just leave her? The love of his life!” Y/N scoffed, rolling her eyes, “the audacity.”

“Well maybe he thought he wasn’t good enough.” Shinsou suggested, and he couldn’t help but relate to the guy from the odd rom-com they’d just watched. 

Allowing Shinsou to move her in the direction of the parking lot, he “Well maybe he should have asked. He was a really nice guy,” Y/N paused, biting her lip as her brows furrowed, “he kinda reminded me of you, actually.”

Shinsou bit back a bitter laugh at this comment, of course he reminded her of the character who didn’t get the girl. That was a great sign, perfect. “So, I’m the loser who fails to get the girl?” He asks, brow raised at her.

Y/N’s cheeks warm as she looks away from him, “no... You’re the nice guy-” She paused, lips pursing together before she sang, “nice guys always finished last should’ve known that.” Shinsou burst into laughter at her outburst, unlocking his car and opening the door for her. “See, you even open doors for the ladies. A true gentleman. Who doesn’t want that?”

You. Shinsou couldn’t help the thought that filled his head as he closed Y/N’s door, shaking his head as he made his way over to the driver’s side. “Anywhere you want me to take you?” He asked, looking to her and noticing she’d yet to put her seatbelt on, distracted by her phone, “and please buckle up. I don’t want to watch you fly head first through the window, as funny as it would be. I can’t afford a new car.”

Y/N laughed at his comment, buckling her seatbelt up nonetheless, “grocery store? I wanna buy some more snacks.”

“Sure, I probably need to buy groceries anyway.” He picked up his phone to text his mom, asking what she needed before throwing it onto the dashboard of the car. 

As Shinsou reaches into the back in search of his school bag, his phone vibrates on the dashboard, nearly slipping off of it had it not been for Y/N. The phone is already on because of the new message, and a picture of her and Shinsou is displayed as the background, bringing a smile to her face. It’s from one of their previous hangouts, alongside a few of her friends. Y/N had introduced them, she’d wanted Shinsou to branch out. Sure, he had friends, but he wasn’t necessarily close with any of them. 

The message from Shinsou’s mom takes this smile off her face pretty fast.

The normal stuff, and a birthday cake! Along with candles, it’s your birthday and we need to celebrate.

“Hey have you seen my-”

“It’s your birthday?” Her voice comes out quiet, she stares at the message for a moment. Wondering how she didn’t know his birthday, did he tell her at some point? Had she forgotten? 

Shinsou freezes for a moment, adjusting himself in the seat to look at her, “yeah.” He brings a hand to the back of his neck, disliking the change in atmosphere as she sighs.

“Why didn’t you tell me? Did you tell me? Did I forget?” She sounds distressed as she speaks, and Y/N is racking her brain for reasons why she was completely unaware of the date. Did Shinsou even see her as a friend? Was she just some random person he put up with? 

The answer was no, he didn’t see her as a friend, but he happened to like her quite a bit. And now he’s shaking his head, bringing a hand to her arm as frowns at her words, “I never told you. You didn’t forget. It’s fine, really. My birthday doesn’t matter-”

“Of course it matters, Hitoshi!” Y/N cried out, her brows furrowed she speaks. Y/N can feel her cheeks flush in embarrassment at the slight outburst as she looks to him, inhaling deeply. “Give me the keys and get out of the car.”

Shinsou is still reeling from the fact that she’d said his first name, staring at her in shock temporarily, “I’m sorry what?” She didn’t intend to kick him out of his own car, did she?

“You heard me.” Y/N replied, extending her hand expectantly, “we are switching seats, I’m driving. Birthday boy does not drive.” His cheeks flush red, and his brows furrow as she exits the car when he doesn’t hand over the keys immediately, jogging around the to open his door, “keys.”

Tilting his head at her, a small smile on his face, he replies, “I don’t know if I trust your driving skills.” The keys in hand, he steps out of the car, and Y/N raises a brow, extending her hand out once more. Shinsou brings his hand above his head in response.

“You are a jerk, Shinsou.” She mumbles glaring at him as she folds her arms.

He frowns slightly, “I liked it better when you called me Hitoshi.”

Y/N can feel her cheeks warm at his comment, “I didn’t even know your birthday, I don’t think I deserve to be calling you by your first name.” She mumbled in response.

“Well, you know my birthday now.” 

She exhales deeply, “why didn’t you tell me? We were hanging out all day- why did you even wanna hang out with me? I’m sure you have better things to do on your birthday.”

He tilts his head at her, “what’s better than hanging out with you?” Y/N contemplated kicking his shins in that moment as he sighed, bringing his hand back beside him, “I don’t like birthdays.” He looks away from her, “but this was probably the best one by far.”

“Let’s make it even better,” Y/N says, a smile on her face as she looks up at him. “Hitoshi.” She adds on. 

A small laugh escapes him as he grabs her hand, placing the keys into it. And for a moment there’s silence, both of them staring at their joined hands before Y/N looks up to see that he’s already staring at her. Much to his disappointment, she releases his hands and pockets the keys. Shinsou takes this as a sign to head over to the passenger side, moving past her only to be yanked backwards by his sleeves.

Y/N’s hands find their way onto his face as she brings her lips to his, it takes him a moment to understand what’s happening, as they stumble backwards. One hand comes to her back, and the other to the window screen beside her as her back hits the backseat door of his car. Y/N finds herself bringing one hand to his hair to tug on it, earning a grunt from Shinsou when they pull apart.

“Good to know I didn’t completely misread that.” She breathes out. 

And he’s laughing, throwing his head back at her words, as though it wasn’t completely obvious what his feelings for her were. “God, you are such an idiot.” His cheeks are flushed as he brings his lips back to hers, and this kiss is far more gentle than their first. Y/N’s hands are still threaded through his hair as she sighs into the kiss, her thumb caressing his cheek gently.

“Your idiot?” Y/N mumbles when they pull away.

Shinsou can’t find it in himself to believe this is actually happening as he nods, “yeah. My idiot.”

Pressing a kiss to his cheek, Y/N beams up at him, “happy birthday, Hitoshi.” She says, “now let’s go buy some cake mix. Cool kids bake their own birthday cakes.” 

Yeah, this was the best birthday yet. So, maybe birthdays weren’t all that bad. 

A/N: i hate birthdays too hitoshi <3 also im sorry this is bad fahalkshjdf

[fallenhero-rebirth]

Brain update

First, let me say that this isn't about what anybody has done. My reactions are not in proportion to anything that has happened, and might be considered odd, weird and sensitive to people involved.

So let me explain.

I'm an Aspie (what we call ourselves in Sweden), on the autism spectrum. Yeah, might have guessed that from the story I'm writing, Sidestep is not the only one trying to figure out how people work.

Over the years I have built up an arsenal of knowledge and analysis to be able to pretend to be neurotypical, something that I can manage alright most days, but which breaks down once you get to know me better. I'm open with this at my current job, and luckily both my bosses seem to be okay dealing with open communication and just telling me what I need to do.

It was not always like this, and that is one of the reasons why I had a breakdown and needed to get off discord/tumblr.

Back in the late nineties, I had finally got my dream job. I was a product developer in the food industry, part of a rather small department of middle-class academics. I was the new hire, everyone else had worked there for years, and things were going well. Or so I assumed. I got cool projects, got along well with one of the sales people, and well, my boss was weird but bosses always are.

Three years later. Our parent company wanted to sell us off, everyone was starting to get worried about their job. We tried to expand into things were weren't equipped to do (you don't bring spices into a fruit jam line, will be hell to clean) and while I did the projects, I also raised an (in retrospect) too big stink about the fact that we were wasting time developing things we couldn't produce without expanding. My boss (who I had learned was a devout christian) started to get really weird, I got called in and he wondered if I was a member of a cult (I was often wearing a headscarf at the time because pressure on my head is good for stress relief). I also got told off for wearing army boots to work (we had lab shoes in the lab), because (I kid you not) if we had danish visitors to the lab (we didn't have visitors) they could be offended since they had once been occupied by Nazis. Yes, at the time I was an Antifa metalhead/satanist, it was a very volatile time in sweden and nazis were everywhere. Now they're a political party, go figure.

It all came to a head when I was confronted with a folder one of the secretaries of the department had where she had written down every odd and strange thing that I did, and there were a lot of accusations of things I quite frankly blocked out. Around this time I was suffering from bad burnout, had memory loss, my hair was falling out and I lost two bikes because I forgot where I parked them. All because of workplace hostility.

So for the first time ever, I went to the company doctor, who immediately sent me on a one month sick leave, and gave a reference to a therapist. When I went and told my boss, his reaction was "It can't be anything at work," in a dismissive tone. I wrote my resignation right then and there, left the building, snuck back a Saturday to clean out my stuff so I didn't have to meet anyone. Luckily I was backed up by my union, so I got unemployment despite quitting, and the therapist helped me get back on my feet and hook me up with some antidepressants.

Still, I was a wreck for years.

At the time, I had NO idea I was an Aspie. It weren't talked about, the only thing I knew about Autism, was from the various portrayals in movies, and well, in the nineties you can guess. Rainman pretty much was it.

What destroyed me the most was not that people disliked me, I didn't like them either, we didn't have anything in common, and middle-class people always scared me. No, what broke me was the fact that my system failed.

See, I had built up myself over ten years into someone I wanted to be. Smart. Capable. Metalhead. Researcher. Activist. I thought I knew the rules. How to interact.

It turned out I knew nothing. People had been talking behind my back for years, and I didn't know. Getting annoyed by my ticks, and I had no idea. Nobody ever brought anything up to my face until it exploded one day out of the blue. This is why I have ranted about anons on this tumblr. This is why I have been so openly against passive aggressive posts and bullying, especially the anonymous kind, because it destroys people and I don't think the people who does it knows the impact they can have. I hope they don't.

I have never gone back to the lab. I can't. I'm having heart palpitations just thinking about it when I'm writing this. I retrained. Became a machinist. Back to the working class I came from. Eventually started writing.

And this is exactly what these last months have felt like.

I thought I understood things. I was pretty open with being old, an Aspie, not understanding memes, or humor, or tik tok, or certain aspects of people's behavior like jealousy, but the problem with joking about this is that it's so easy to take as just a joke. That I'm just making fun of myself (oh it's that too). I got advice from some of you, which I ignored, because I thought that I could be different. That there was no danger in getting close. That I could be just another voice in the crowd. An occasionally evil avocado. That this couldn't blow up in my face, that everything was cool.

And then it did. And I was wrong. And the talking started, and things were coming out that I had no idea that was going on. That I was being held responsible for. Opinions that were spoken in my name. Events I was supposed to have been aware of and supported. All of a sudden I was omniscient, aware of the true passive aggressive meaning of every reblog, aware of every post in every room in the discord I wasn't even running. Wasn't even a mod on. All of a sudden I had power, and I had used it to hurt people. The people I cared about. Everything I wrote was taken in the worst possible way, twisted into things I never meant, and the more I tried to talk to people, the worse it went.

Look. I know this was at heart a war between people that just doesn't like each other and the things they do/the ways they behave. I'm still not entirely sure who's been involved, and I'm not interested in finding out. I tried to build a supportive space, reblog everyone's art and fics, encourage people to make their own things, get a kofi, get some money, make some friends.

And herein lies my problem.

I thought I understood how to be, and now I don't. I have no idea who hates my guts and who doesn't (well, except some who has very vocally let me know). I can't trust anything. I can't trust anyone. And it sucks. Someone I trusted stabbed be in the back because they were convinced I stabbed them in the back and that sucks more than I can describe. Every time I make a comment on AO3 or twitter it's after psyching myself up for half an hour, and I'm usually a wreck afterwards, because my brain doesn't know if they hate me too, and if I am imposing on them and making their day bad.

So yeah. I need to figure out how to be. How not to have a nausea attack every time I accidentally click open tumblr from pure reflex, looking away from the screen just not to see how may messages I have.

I never wanted to be the aloof author, but maybe I have to be. The question is if I can. I have been told I can't comment on pics or fics, because then I have favorites. And that makes people jealous. And it makes people think I take sides. I have been told I can't be on the discord, because then I will be held responsible for what the mods do there, and everything that's said even when I'm not around. I should apparently have someone manage the tumblr, it's not something that I, an author should do.

I now understand the authors who just stay away and remain distant, because people give themselves the power to write the narrative for you.

Part of me wants to tell people what I've told my current bosses, don't assume, just talk to me. I don't pick up/do passive aggression, I don't understand hints, I have trouble with nuance, I don't listen to gossip, I don't interact enough to know anything that's going on. Just ask before assuming.

Except that right now I can't. I can't talk about any of this. It's too close. It sets me off. It's getting better, sure, I'm on medication again, but the smallest thing still can ruin my entire day. I have no idea how long it will take me to recover and come back to some semblance of normality. I'm not posting this myself (my partner does). Writing is going well, because it lets me not be myself. I need those walls again. The therapy of writing about pain.

I'll rebuild them. I'm not entirely sure who I'll be on the other end of it. We'll see.

I have consciously not spoken about any details because those could be misunderstood, this is not a passive aggressive callout to anybody. I have no hard feelings towards anyone, I am not angry or upset, just confused and sad. I am truly so very, very, very sorry that I've hurt people, both by action and inaction. It was never my intention. I will do my best to do better in the future.

Still working on how to do that.

[youllneverknowrac]

Oscar Diaz-Shut Up Mom!(MBS)

Hey guys! Hope you enjoy this request!

Make sure to show some love if you liked it!

@b3mybunnybaby

~

“Mommy can you help me with a Tik-Tok prank on daddy?” Carlos asks from where you rest on the couch with your swollen feet up, Alexander taking a nap in your arms.

“I wanna watch Tik-Tok.” Angel says as he sits in time out from a tantrum he had minutes prior.

“No talking. You sit there and think about what you did.” You warn him before turning your attention to your third born,”What do I have to do?” You ask him with a smile, you needed some excitement in your life and this was the perfect way to get that. Especially since your little girl was about to be here any day now.

“Okay so all you need to do is...” Carlos begins to explain the instructions, even showing you a few videos as a reference,”Got it?”

“I do, but do you think you can out run your dad? Maybe we should tell Anthony or Junior to do it.” You suggest, already knowing that Oscar doesn’t play when it comes to your kids being disrespectful.

“Junior won’t be back until this weekend.” He says as he thinks his idea over,”Let me go ask Tony.” He decides before taking off up the stairs and into their shared bedroom.

“Mommy? Can I come sit with you now?” Angel asks quietly from the corner,”Pwease?”

“Are you sorry for being mean to Alex? You have to share with him, he’s your little brother. And soon Santana is gonna be here, are you going to be mean to her?”

“No mommy, I’ll be good. I’ll tell Alex sorry when he wakes up.”

“Okay, but if you mess up one more time today I’m telling daddy.”

“No! No daddy! I’m a good boy. Pinky promise.” He says as he runs over and jumps on the couch next to you,”I’m gonna be a good big brother.” He says as he carefully places a kiss to the sleeping boys head before doing the same to your stomach.

“I believe you. Now shhh, don’t wake him up.”

“Shhh.” He repeats with a head nod before laying back against the cushion and grabbing his tablet.

“Okay mom, I’ll do it but if he ends up grabbing me I’m throwing hands.” Anthony says as he comes down with Carlos.

“I’ll have your back.” Carlos says firmly with a clap on his back. Angel chiming in that he will to as he keeps his eyes focused on his game.

“Then you better run fast.” You laugh,”He should be home any minute now, so stretch those legs.”

You guys end up practicing a few times, Alexander awake in his pack n play by the time Oscar’s truck is pulling into the drive way,”He’s here, get ready!” Angel screams as he peeks out the window. Carlos hands you his phone, the app already set up before taking a seat with Angel. Anthony sitting on the steps mentally hyping his self up.

“Best looking Diaz is home!” Oscar shouts out after walking in the house and kicking his work boots off by the door,”Whatcha all doing?” He asks as he joins you all in the living room, undoing the buttons on his dirty uniform.

“Nothing I’m just trying to get these boys to clean up their rooms.” You sigh after pressing record, Oscar leaning over the back of the couch to peck your lips in greeting quickly,”They haven’t been listening to me all day.”

“Why aren’t they clean?” He asks as he looks in between the three older boys,”I’ll go throw away every toy and video game I bought if those rooms aren’t spotless by tonight, when your mom says to do something you do it. Understand me?”

“Yes sir.” All three boys nod simultaneously.

“Well go on then, I’ve been telling you all day. Anthony please clean y’alls bathroom too.”

“Oh my god, shut up mom. Quit nagging so much.” He says as he stands up, Oscar snapping his head over to the older boy so fast and dangerously walking towards him.

“The fuck did you just say?” He asks lowly,”I know damn well you ain’t talking to your mom like that.”

“I did and what?” He retorts, you guys deciding to take it a bit further than the original videos.

“Getcho ass over here!” Oscar shouts as he reaches out for his shirt, Anthony two steps ahead as he takes off in the opposite direction.

“Now Angel!” Carlos screams as they each grab onto Oscar’s legs and hang on for dear life.

“It’s a joke Oscar! Chill out!” You laugh as you scramble to your feet,”Look it’s for a video, I knew he was going to say that.” You add as you stop recording and show him.

“Oh y’all trying to play me for a fool?” Oscar says as he reaches down and picks up Angel by the ankles and holds him upside down,”Where you in on this? Huh?” He asks him with playful anger.

“No! Mommy help!” Angel laughs as he swings his body back and forth.

“Put my baby down.” You scold with a smile as you grab him with a low groan,”You’re so heavy now.” You comment as Oscar snatches Carlos up from the ground and holds him at arms length,”I know this was your idea.”

“Maybe.” He says innocently as he flashes his smile, a few baby teeth missing and being replaced with incoming adult teeth.

“Haha. You all think you’re so funny, I was about to air the whole roof off of this house. Y’all need to ask about me, you just don’t know what dads capable of.” Oscar boast as he lightly shoves the scrawny kid away with a push to his forehead.

“Um can I come back down?” Anthony yells from the top step.

“Yeah come down!” Oscar says, rubbing his nose with his thumb and index finger,”I ain’t gonna hurt you. Don’t be scared now.”

“It was for Tik-Tok.” Anthony says as he slowly descends from the steps,”I wouldn’t talk to mom like that for real.”

“You’re lucky.” Oscar jokes as he throws a few punches in his direction,”Don’t mess with the big dogs hyna.”

“Aye, I’m not that scared.” Your second born laughs as he doges the hits,”You ain’t that athletic anymore dad, old age is getting to you.”

“Hey! We’re practically the same age and another thing I’m your wife. Once upon a time I was your hyna, but you can’t call me that no more.” You scoff playfully as you sit back down with Angel, Alexander growing upset that he hasn’t got any attention yet.

“Yeah, but you look like a teenager, dad not so much.” Anthony laughs

“Aight, ima let that slide for now.” Oscar smirks as he goes over to pick up the baby after blowing a kiss and wink your way in understanding,”When you’re least expecting it though ima be on that ass.” He jokes before turning his attention to Alex,”You wouldn’t play a prank on daddy? No you’d never do that.” He says, placing a kiss to the top of his head after.

“What’s a hyna?” Angel asks looking between the two of you,”Whatever I don’t care, I have fruit snacks. Um mommy can I go get some pwease?”

“Yes, just one bag though. You can all go get a little snack, I’m ordering Chinese for dinner so don’t go overboard.”

“Awesome!” Carlos says before all three boys head into the kitchen.

“Y’all better eat at the table!” Oscar calls out behind them,”I don’t need any roaches in this house!”

“Yes sir!” They all shout back

“Bring me him.” You say and wiggle your fingers in their direction.

“You have a baby in your stomach, hold that.” Oscar says as he takes a step away,”Besides he’s the only one that didn’t play a prank on me so I’m gonna go give him some juice and cuddles.”

“What?!” You laugh as you throw your head back,”If you don’t give me my baby back and go change out of your dirty work clothes I’m gonna...”

“You’ll what? Chase after me?” Oscar teases as he bounces Alex in his arms,”Come on mama, come take him from me.”

“I don’t even have to get up, watch this...Alex, mommy’s baby boy. Come here.” You say and hold your arms out from the couch,”Come to mama.”

“Mama.” Alex says as he reaches out for you with a smile, his legs kicking out,”Mama.” He repeats with grabby hands, not waiting even two seconds before he begins to wail.

“Not fair.” Oscar says with squinted eyes as he hands him off to you,”That’s okay cause my princess is gonna be all about daddy. Then you’ll finally see how it feels to be second favorite.”

“It’s cute that you think your second, you know that’s Cesars spot.” You joke, Alex already calm in your arms as he sucks his thumb.

“What’s this, make Oscar upset day?” He scoffs as he leans over you,”Cause it’s working.” He tells you before pressing his lips to yours lovingly once again.

“I’ll make it up to you tonight.” You mumble against him mouth with a smile,”But you need to go shower first.” You laugh and turn your head away a second later,”Now please.”

“This smell coming off of me is called hard work mami. Hard work and money!” He laughs as he walks backwards towards the master bedroom,”Get on my level!”

“I’m above your level papi. I stay home all day with my baby’s and take your paycheck at the end of the week. You wish you were on my level!”

“You’re a smart ass.” He chuckles as he points at you,”But I love it.”

“Hmh love you.” You say and stick your tongue out at him, Oscar flicking you off before disappearing out of your sight.

“Mommy!” Angel shouts from the dining room,”Come in here with us!”

“Coming, give me a second.” You huff as you set Alex down and opt for holding his hand instead as the two of you head to join the other Diaz boys. A good time to ask them what other prank could be played on their daddy.

[uwuwriting]

Homesick recordings

This is the first part of my 1.5K celebration. I present to you the sequel to “Moments in the life of Y/N L/N”, the angstiest piece of trash I’ve ever written. Thank you 1.5 K guys it means a lot, thank you for being here and reading my crap writing and thank you for supporting my blog. Love ya 💖💖💖

masterlist II rules

When Y/N learns that her little girl is gonna leave for high school she suggests she tries recording herself when she’s feeling homesick. Sky believes that she won’t need it but as time passes she realizes that she might need her mom more than expected. 

Monday, April 4th 20XX

“Okay so how do I do this exactly? *camera falls from its spot* Ah crap crap Jesus! Is it still working? Yep yep it is there’s my ugly face hehe. God why is my hair like that? Anyways um…. Hi, I guess? Do you say hi to a recording? This is weird to say the least. Today was the first day of school as you might have guessed and it was ….awkward. I got lost in that huge building twice and I ignored some kids by accident because they called me by my last name! I’m used to people referring to you when they say our last name ugh this is gonna take some time getting used to. The teacher is ....unique. He came into our classroom in a yellow sleeping bag and proceeded to worm around the room like a caterpillar. I don’t think he is the really giddy giddy fun teacher; he wrecked us during training. Gave us a freaking heart attack with a so called prank he pulled. *exasperated sigh* Who says that you’ll be expelled if you score last?? I don’t get it!! His name is Aizawa-sensei and I already believe he doesn’t like me. He stared at me for a solid five minutes with a frown on his face during training. If I’m being honest he was watching me the whole day which is kinda weird. I don’t know how to take that. Is he interested in my quirk or is he asking himself why they put me in his class? I can hear his voice saying ‘why do they keep sending me imbeciles?’. Well mister you can’t get rid of me now I got in and I’m staying! HA! *bang on the wall* YO SKY KID KEEP IT DOWN MAN! SORRY TOYOMI-SAN…..That was one of my roommates….She is a social worker I think. Oh I almost forgot, the apartment I found is nice. It deserves its price I mean. But you already know that since I called you once I got back from school…. See why this is stupid??? I’ll keep telling you things you already know because I have Alzheimer and I don’t remember what you know. *sigh* Oh well I guess you’ll have to endure this torture, you are my mother after all and I’m your precious only daughter so what can you do really? I finished my costume design. It turned out pretty cool, I like it. The jacket you suggested makes it ten times better. I look like a pilot. Well technically I am a pilot. I pilot clouds and now that you’re not here to scold me when I’m flying around I’ll take full advantage of it. You can’t stop me mother! Anyways, it’s getting late and I have school tomorrow so I’ll end this here. I don’t know when I’ll record next…. Most likely when I’m feeling home sick again. Haha it's the first day away from home and I’m already missing you and those two idiots. *soft snort* Goodnight mom, love you.” *recording ends*.

Wednesday, April 27th 20XX     

“Hello again, it’s me, your neighborhood cripple. *wince* You could say I’m a sight for sore eyes because I’m sore all over. You’ve seen the attack on the news. Of course you have, everyone’s shaming UA high for lack of security. Why you haven’t called me yet is a mystery, I guess you’re at work? And before you start throwing a tantrum about me not calling first and blah blah, I wanted to record this first, let you see the actual injuries before I minimize them when I call you. *stares off* Something weird happened during the attack. Apart from the fact that well we were attacked and our homeroom teacher was almost beaten into a pulp, the villains were ….. interesting. When they first appeared I was teleported by this minecraft portal looking ass to another part of the USJ and to be honest I kicked some serious ass. That *wince* that was not the weird thing. While I was fighting I saw Aizawa-sensei facing some type of giant ostrich? Although that that thing wasn’t an ostrich…. I don’t know what it was but mom it was terrifying. *visible shiver* It just grabbed him and mopped the floor with him and I just couldn’t sit there and do nothing. So I went to help or at least that was my goal. That person who teleported me at the beginning tried to do it again and I may have snapped a little bit. I got so angry when he moved me to the other side of the arena that for a moment I totally forgot about what was happening. While I was fighting him his quirk kinda connected with mine. It was strange. Every time I shot a cloud at him the mist that surrounded him kinda engulfed it. It wasn’t only happening to me. I could manipulate his mist. Not every time just like he couldn’t sabotage my clouds every time, but it still happened. I don’t know why it happened or how it happened and I have no idea what I’m gonna do about it.  Maybe it was part of his quirk but it didn’t happen to anyone else…..*wince* God I have a headache. *chuckle* You do realize you are never going to see these videos right? Seeing me like this would send you into a comma and then you would come back to haunt me and my classmates. Anyways, I’ll call you and then I’m going to sleep. Love ya mom.” *recording ends*

Tuesday, June 3rd 20XX

“*walking back and forth in her room* You know how I said that Bakugou is a really fun person to tease? Well that was before he exposed me to the whole class.*laugh* In reality I’m not really mad, it was a nice comeback and if I’m being honest it was hilarious but it was still a shocker. We were going back and forth with that tik tok challenge where you expose your friend’s flaws. So I was standing there pointing out his superiority complex when he dropped the bomb…… ‘It’s the daddy issues for me’......THIS KID. THE AUDACITY. I thought my daddy issues were kept on the down low!!! I’ve done nothing to trigger this comment!! Sure I may or may not have told Mina that you raised me alone and about that counselor incident but that doesn’t mean I have daddy issues. *grumble* You need to have a dad to have daddy issues. Ughh God I hate him sometimes so very much. Thankfully the summer camp is tomorrow. I’ll get to wipe the floor with him in volleyball. I’m gonna draw those anger issues out…. I need some air. *three hours later* I’m back… yay. It’s weird to think about it you know. What you must have gone through when he passed. I know you don’t really like talking about him or anything before I came along but I would love to know what he was like. I’m not gonna ask you in real life of course, I would never do that to you. I know it hurts. I just wanted to say it out loud…*barely audible sniffle* … Well this got sentimental real quick. I think I should go to bed. I love you mom, goodnight.” *recording ends*

Friday, March 14th 20XX

“Of all the things that could’ve happened, this one was the last one on my list. Actually it wasn’t even on the freaking list, dammit! *sniffle* You know things like this don’t happen to everyone. I must be a really lucky person. Tell me one other person who gets to meet their dead parent in a high surveillance prison?? And above that I got an explanation why he was like this. Amazing right? God this is so stupid! I hate it. I hate this situation, I hate that I can’t tell you about it, I hate keeping you in the dark because at the end of the day I’m not the one who was in love with him. He may be my dad but I don’t have a connection with him! I never met him! He wasn’t there when I started walking or talking, he wasn’t the one who dropped me off on the first day of school, he didn’t teach me how to ride a bike, he-he * sob* I shouldn’t-shouldn’t be upset over this. Aizawa-sensei and Present Mic should be the ones sobbing on their floor. Not me. He doesn’t - I don’t- ugh - I don’t mean anything to him in the end. He died 15 years ago. That’s it. He was in love with you, he knew you, I was nowhere to be found. If he could reach out to us more than just a few words he wouldn’t know who the hell I was. *sobs* I have a picture of you two you know….It’s the one I had found when I was five. When you told me that that was my dad I felt like I could form a connection with the person in that photo. So I kept it, you never went through your old photo albums anyway and you never looked for the missing photo. And I kept it with me. I tore a small pocket in my backpack and put the photo there. I thought that having both of you with me at all times would bring me luck. I liked the fact that I looked like him. Now I realize how painful that must have been for you, seeing him in me everyday….and Aizawa-sensei, god, having me in his class must have been torture. He didn’t know that I was his friend’s daughter of course but I looked enough like him to bring back memories. God this sucks…. *deep breathes* I-I have practice so I gotta go. Love you.” *recording ends*  

Thursday, March 20th 20XX

“Hi, it’s me again. I know that I’m recording almost a week after the previous one but… mom I have been assigned a mission and it’s major. It’ll be an attack at a hospital where we believe that experiments are being conducted. We got that information from um what do I call him? *shakes head* from a prisoner in Tartarus, the high surveillance prison I was at last week? Yeah that one. The mission will be really dangerous, that’s what we’ve been told and I can understand that. I mean we are attacking a major operation of AFO, of course it’ll be dangerous. Since we are students we are to stay away from the hospital and monitor the surrounding area but…. I asked Present Mic to go with them in the hospital. I can help keep things in place and I can move people in and out quicker than any of them, plus this is personal. I think Present Mic understands that. He said he’ll talk to Aizawa-sensei about it but regardless….. I’ll find who did that to him, I promise you that. I want to know if...if this was all some grand plan because what they did to him they did to dozens other people and as much as I hate them for taking my father away, I also hate them for what they’ve done to all those other families…… I’m recording this because I don’t know if I come back in one piece or if I come back at all. This is very dangerous and we don’t really know what to expect. What we are getting ourselves into. I wanted to say thank you. Thank you for giving me everything that I needed in life. Thank you for being the best mom anyone could ever have. You raised me by pushing your own sadness and grief to the side and doing the best job you could. So thank you for being my mom and I’m sorry for the pain I caused you. I love you mom, so very much. Bye, bye mommy.” *recording ends.*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TAG TEAM AY:

@iwaqchan @the-arcana-fan-fic @angelwritings @axerrri @reinyrei  @dnarez-mangetsu @bemorefiction

[samtheflamingomain]

more like the hypocratic oath

Fuck the Hippocratic Oath.

I've always loved to memorize things from a young age. I'm 26, and I still see the same doctor that saw my mother 10 years before my birth. So I've spent a LOT of time in her waiting room, unchanged for decades. She has a weird obsession with lighthouses. Also, a framed text of the Hippocratic Oath on the wall.

Being the only thing to read in the room, over the years, I kind of accidentally memorized it. It's shorter than most people think.

It's never really been useful. Whenever it would come up in conversation I'd sometimes say "did you know that 'First do no harm' isn't actually in the Oath?" but most people didn't believe me. I didn't really care. It never came up, and it was never really important.

But this week alone I've read 6 references to the Oath in the news, had 3 conversations about it, and had to nope out of countless Reddit threads, all along these same lines:

"Why can't we lower the priority of anti-vaxxers who need to be in the ICU?" The Hippocratic Oath, of course! First, do no harm. Second, triage according to whoever needs the most care the most urgently. Third, forget the first two because neither of those things, not even in sentiment, are in the Oath.

There's a LOT of people who seem to have been indoctrinated into following a dogma they don't even know the contents of. They hear "Hippocratic Oath" and instantly think "First, do no harm" and then stop there. Because we think we know the gist. "Don't wield your power of being a doctor to become an evil monster." You should be right, but you're not.

If we're going to argue medical ethics, let's see what this amazing oath is really all about.

It starts out pretty normal. Swearing to Apollo. "[A]nd Asclepius, by Hygieia, by Panacea, and by all the gods and goddesses". Normal stuff. Oh, your doctor doesn't believe in Apollo? Breaking the Oath.

But then we get to the good stuff. Y'know what's so important that the Hippocratic Oath decided to address it directly and by name? Abortion. As in, "I will not give to a woman a pessary to cause abortion". Forget what a pessary is, it's an ancient medical device. So, the entire profession of performing abortions? Breaking the Oath.

But hey, abortion's a touchy subject. What about something as neutral as kidney stones? Well, "I will not use the knife, not even, verily, on sufferers from [kidney]stone[s]". Weird how if I were to walk into an ER with a kidney stone the size of a kidney bean they'd cut it out. With a knife. Verily. Breaking the Oath.

It's not all bad or oddly specific. The last bit basically says "If I walk into your house, I won't abuse you, even if you're a slave." How kind! And lastly, patient confidentiality. The end.

...Except, the Oath was rewritten in 1964. It cut out the abortion and kidney stone bits and comes in the form of modern English. Since it's not too long and wordy like the original, here's the full text of the "modern" Hippocratic Oath: (I'm cutting the first and last lines that just say 'here's the oath' and 'that was the oath', emphasis is mine to talk about after.)

"I will respect the hard-won scientific gains of those physicians in whose steps I walk, and gladly share such knowledge as is mine with those who are to follow.

"I will apply, for the benefit of the sick, all measures required, avoiding those twin traps of overtreatment and therapeutic nihilism.

"I will remember that there is art to medicine as well as science, and that warmth, sympathy, and understanding may outweigh the surgeon's knife or the chemist's drug.

"I will not be ashamed to say "I know not", nor will I fail to call in my colleagues when the skills of another are needed for a patient's recovery.

"I will respect the privacy of my patients, for their problems are not disclosed to me that the world may know. Most especially must I tread with care in matters of life and death. If it is given me to save a life, all thanks. But it may also be within my power to take a life; this awesome responsibility must be faced with great humbleness and awareness of my own frailty. Above all, I must not play at God.

"I will remember that I do not treat a fever chart, a cancerous growth, but a sick human being, whose illness may affect the person's family and economic stability. My responsibility includes these related problems, if I am to care adequately for the sick.

"I will prevent disease whenever I can, for prevention is preferable to cure.

"I will remember that I remain a member of society, with special obligations to all my fellow human beings, those sound of mind and body as well as the infirm."

Let's work backwards. The last line I emphasized because I think it comes closest to being a good argument for why anti-vaxxers should be allowed to clog up our ICUs. Doctors have "special obligations" (which isn't specific enough for me) to all humans, even the "infirm". At a glance it seems like this says "Doctors have to help people who are well as well as those who are ill" but "sound of mind" really jumped out at me. To me, it is not of sound mind to be anti-vaccine. If "infirm" is the opposite of "sound of mind", then anti-vaxxers are entitled, like all humans, to whatever "special obligations" the doctors have. Like I said, I don't find that phrase specific enough for me to accept this as an argument, but it does come close. If we define "special obligations" as "the obligation to provide medical care", then yes, put all anti-vax Covid patients in the ICU. But "special obligations" could just as well mean "the obligation to put the needs of the many over the needs of the few", which is supported by the statement's previous allusion to being a member of society, in which case, kick those fuckers out on the street.

The second point I highlighted just because this was written by and for America, and somehow they remain the only developed nation where one's "economic stability" is absolutely never taken into consideration.

Finally, my big closer. Life and death. "If I manage to save a life, great, cool. But also sometimes I'm allowed to kill people. No, I will not elaborate".

But it has another meaning: "As a doctor, sometimes I will necessarily have to kill people." This is simply one of those times. I'm serious. If not now, when?

I highlighted the very first line because I think it sets the tone for the entire Oath, and because I believe that actively choosing to treat anti-vaxxers instead of people with "lesser" problems, that choosing to allocate ICUs to people who spit on your science is violating the directive to follow the "hard-won scientific gains of those physicians in whose steps I walk". I can't imagine a 1940s TB nurse being teleported to present day, informed about Covid, taking a look at our hospitals and saying "well done".

It's a good thing it doesn't actually say "do no harm", because the Oath itself has violated that directive. As Ontario's ICUs continue to rise, doctors continue to harm society because they think triage is part of the Oath. It's not. Stop pretending it's anything more than a contract you sign when you work at fuckin McDonalds and you promise not to make dumb Tik Toks at work. Every job has its moral standards. Doctors have one of the most ethically and morally difficult jobs on the planet, yet we treat medical ethics as a settled matter.

The original was written in 275AD. It was rewritten 60 years ago. Maybe let's not wait another millennium to fix this glaring problem that isn't going to go away. In the meantime, let's try and work from actual facts and not what we think we know. A tall order these days unfortunately.

Stay Greater, Flamingos.

[photolover82]

The Masked Singer Season 5 Episode 2 Recap: It’s Group B Time, let’s meet them! (Commentary & Guesses)

Hello my fellow Masked Singer fanatics! Welcome (or welcome back) to Ana’s Masked Singer recap, where I, Ana (nice to virtually meet you btw), recap every single episode of The Masked Singer. Here we are again with season 5, but this time another group, Group B, which consist of Black Swan 🖤🦢, Piglet 🐷, Chameleon 🦎, Grandpa Monster 👹 👴, and Phoenix 🦜.

So, let’s begin with the first eliminated contestant of Group B:

The first eliminated contestant was:

*DRUMROLL PLEASE*

Phoenix 🦜

Commentary: Ok, so this wasn’t surprising whatsoever, she sang Tik Tok by Kesha and you can obviously tell that she isn’t a singer at all. Like idk how else to explain it to you guys, but I guess she was talk singing... kind of like Wendy/the lips last season... so it was kind of easy the moment she opened her mouth to start singing to recognize immediately who it was...

Having said that, she was revealed to be (as I knew, this one wasn’t hard)...

*DRUMROLL PLEASE*

Caitlyn Jenner

Hehe I knew it! Again, like Wendy Williams aka the lips, this was way too obvious. She already walked around Hollywood Blvd with the Don’t Talk to me hoodie on so I knew she was going to be on the show but the min I saw Phoenix, the clues, and the moment she opened her mouth, I was so certain it was Caitlyn. No, I am not a big Kardashian/Jenner fan tbh but I used to watch the show way back when.... like in 2016? I am not sure, but I recognized her voice immediately.

Now onto my guesses for the remaining 4:

1. Black Swan 🦢🖤

Commentary: So she sang Barracuda by Heart and damn, she got a strong voice! It’s a really amazing voice, even though the song choice wasn’t my favorite, because it didn’t suit her voice completely and showcase her range, but she was badass (can I say that? Whatever, this is my show, I’ll say it, it’s not THAT bad of a word) tbh. In certain parts, she was like screaming a lot and I was like um maybe this isn’t her best song choice but her voice is amazing! She gives me Seahorse mixed with Flamingo vibes, I love her!

I think she is singer extraordinaire:

Jojo (not Siwa but we have another Jojo on our hands)

Reasoning/Clues: there are so many clues that match but her voice is the main thing that clicked for me that it was her, but let’s look at those clues so you can get the picture:

Wanted Poster with RV highlighted= she appeared in the movie RV with Robin Williams

She talks about being trapped and someone else’s prey and then getting out of it= she was trapped in her record label & there was controversy surrounding it and she had to sue her label for not releasing her music

A 5 on a watch= she toured with 5th harmony and has released 5 albums

Cluedledoo (Rooster) clue= she covered a monster= she covered one of T-Pain aka the Monster from season 1’s songs

2. Piglet 🐷

Commentary: He was my favorite of the night with his rendition of Speechless by Dan + Shay! You guys know if you have seen my recaps in season 3 (or even last week with Robopine) that I have a soft spot for a guy who has a super silky voice, like either boy band type or R&B smooth af kinda vibe (i.e. Fox in season 2, Turtle in season 3, Robopine in season 5).... or should I say any guy who can falsetto and Piglet is giving me those boy band smooth vibes, I love it so much! His voice is soooo familiar I am so sure about this one by the way.

My guess and I am so sure of this is:

Nick Lachey

Reasoning/Clues: This one I recognized immediately, the voice was really easy to figure out, but these clues also are pretty convincing (oh and he was on Ken’s show, I Can See Your Voice, so it’s not surprising that he would be on this show):

The clue package had a dating show vibe = reminiscent of Love is Blind, the Netflix dating show he hosts with his wife Vanessa

The world saw his heart break= he had a very public relationship with his ex-wife Jessica Simpson and they even had a reality show together called Newlyweds

Cluedle-doo clue: “knows how to stay cool even in the heat”= referring to his past aka his boy band 98 degrees (get it? Because that’s the heat and they are cool because they are a boy band... well played Masked Singer well played... I wanna meet whoever makes these clues because they are great with puns and they seem super clever)

3. Chameleon 🦎

Commentary: Chameleon surprised me I am not gonna lie. I thought he was going to be another athlete like Whatchamacallit last season or White Tiger from season 3 because he was so tall but nope he surprised me with his rendition of Ride with Me by Nelly. He seems like a legit rapper and I liked him a lot than I thought I would honestly so this guess isn’t totally out of left field.

My guess is that this is...

Wiz Khalifa

Reasoning/Clues: so yeah, the voice and the height kinda gave it away to me (Wiz is 6 foot 4 inches and his body type matches the chameleon), but also yeah clues I have to give you guys some logic bombs instead of being like eh that voice and height BOOM WIZ KHALIFA... yeah no it doesn’t work like that, so here are the logic bombs hehe:

Dice with 2 and 3 on it= he did a song with Miley Cyrus called 23

007 clue= he has a song called (yes this is real, look it up) James Bong (omg I am trying not to laugh while typing this but whatttt?! Google really is a gem omg 😳😂) and he played James Bond in the music video

His love of technology & “put tech in technicolor”= apparently, the guy is a huge tech geek and has said it in a lot of interviews (wow humans are so complex and cool, I would have never thought that this man is a tech savvy guy... but the more you know I guess <P.S. I Googled half of these things... like idk this off the top of my head duh, I usually go by voice with my guesses and then I google the clues>)

4. Grandpa Monster

Commentary: He sang Mambo No. 5 and yeah it’s a basic choice for a song, but I liked it. He is not my favorite by any means and now that I listen to it again, I can only hear this person and I am not a fan of him like whatsoever (even tho I gotta acknowledge he has changed and I have *I KNOW... I HATE ME TOO* agreed with stuff he has said in his podcast un ironically.... yeah I am so sorry, I hate myself for saying this too... anyways let’s just get to the person I mean

I have a sneaking suspicion that it is (unfortunately):

Logan Paul

Reasoning/Clues: Yup, um... I really hope I am wrong but honestly ever since someone said it in the YouTube comments section of his performance, I can’t un hear it and I am shook honestly (at least it’s not his brother... I mean we can get worse, and he has respected the pandemic and not been a prick like his *cough* brother *cough*... just saying.. oh and if you don’t know what I am talking about or who this is, he’s a YouTuber who got into some um controversy because he filmed a dead body in 2018 so there’s that... oh and his brother has done a billion worse things than him, but you can Google that one if you are interested in finding out more because it’s too much for me to talk about and we are not even talking about Jake (that’s the brother))... Anyways, sorry, I ramble, but ugh the clues seem convincing and it irks me that it is because I am not a fan of neither of these guys and I don’t want them in the show but whatever I guess he’s the lesser of 2 evils:

He was a troublemaking fool as a youngster= yeah probably regarding that suicide forest video a couple of years ago (that ok, lemme give him credit, he has apologized for it and has kind of proven himself... yuck I hate saying that, I am NOT defending him I swear)

Acting out for all eyes on me= he used to be very well known for pranks on his channel back in the day (before the incident) and he did some stupid stuff for clout lemme tell ya (I never liked these guys, like ever, I thought they were weird.... not my demographic I guess, I wasn’t 12 nor a boy)

6 in Xs and Os like football plays = he did play football 🏈 in high school, he was so good that and actually attributes playing football for long term brain damage he has that makes him as the Wikipedia article says it (I am legit gonna quote what it says because I thought it was fascinating) “affects his ability to have empathy and a human connection with others.” (Mind you, he himself claimed this according to this article)

“Acting out”= he has acted in a few things before and starred in The Thinning

Web with the shooting star= he is a web star, get it? YouTube... web star... hehe again these clue writers are *chef’s kiss*

Cluedle-doo clue: he has trained for battle= now his new thing is boxing and he has trained for actual fights before, his first one being against British YouTuber KSI which he lost... oh and I almost forgot, how can I forget this cute little detail.... he is set to fight Floyd Mayweather this summer apparently... OH AND DID I MENTION HE IS MAKING 5 MILLION DOLLARS FROM THIS DEAL?! He’s winning either way with this fight like damn... but that wasn’t part of it, I just thought it was trippy... again I say, Google is a gem, u find some interesting reads

Ok so that’s it (what a great note to end on lol)! I hope you guys enjoy! Sorry for it being so long and taking so much time to do.. it’s been a crazy last couple of days! I will try to get the next one this upcoming weekend so I’ll see you guys then. (Ohhh btw I now live tweet the show on my Twitter- @photolover82 so if you want to follow me on there and live tweet with me, that can be fun!) Bye guys and don’t forget to like, comment, and do all the social media-y things, you know the drill!

[trying-write-fanfics]

Shouji Mezo X Reader part 2, Remember

 It was a lecture day for the students. Being an aid, Y/n wasn’t expected to come in with Aizawa. In truth the non teaching time was to let her recover, do her own school work when needed, or whatever she really needed. Y/n threw all her clothes on the floor and then tried again. She was too cute, trying too hard, looked too old, looked too young! She did settle on a tan skirt, a black turtleneck and dark tights. Covered head to toe to hide her injuries of bruises and bandages. 

 A few things for her new life was she was not allowed to have a phone, and she would have to use school computers. All her messages would be monitored and sent to the staff, since she had to make a her own login.This was a hell for her because she enjoyed the internet like anyone her age. She liked learning tik tok dances and learning how to paint clouds, and just having an outlet to talk to her friends and comment on the news.

“Damn I’m cute” she told herself. “Or maybe I’m hideous.”

Her new identity was aged up to fit the file and position as a teaching aid. What were adults even like? Would she even be one? Or even know how to pretend to be one. She didn’t really know too many adults she could reference. She had her siblings, but didn’t think they were the best models.

“Makeup or no?” 

Makeup can age a person up, but she doesn't know if older people do wear it like her tik tok stars would. She ended up not wearing anything too out there, just to make her look healthy. 

She was escorted by Midnight to the class. 

“I read your file, I’m surprised you didn’t try to escape.”

“I’m accepting this punishment.” She told her. “It’s not like anyone is waiting for my return.”

“I think this might be good for you.”

What does she know about Y/n

“I don’t know, it’s just something different.” Y/n told her

The door was terrifying. It was tall and said 1-A. It had been so long since she was in a classroom setting. Her hand reached out for it. Just filing papers, taking papers, passing out papers, so much paper they should have a paper quirk! 

“You can wait another day if you need.” Midnight told her.

She read her file just like every other nosy-! 

“I’m fine this is nothing.” She told Midnight. 

Y/n sucked a lot of air in her lungs. She wasn’t their peer, she was just an aid. Entering the classroom without announcing herself she saw Aizawa first and then her eyes met the student body. It was hard to use one single word to describe the class. Though she was supposed to be aged up they were more intimidating. Angry hormonal teens, they had to just be like her. It’s a dog eat dog world. 

“Ah, here is my aid, (first name) Veilia.”

“What kinda last name is Veilia?” A pink troll asked. 

“Don’t be so rude, I’m Iida-“ some tall guy with glasses started to say.

“Enough. Any words you have for the class,Velia ?” Aizawa asked

“Call me Ms. Veilia. If you need anything from me, I’ll be surprised.” Y/n stated. 

 “What kinda of opening statement is that?” A boy with black long hair said.

“You guys have been here longer than me. But if you need my help feel free to ask.” She said. “But do you have any questions for me. 

 Well the age up image wasn’t strong, but these kids are gonna believe what they’re told. Aizawa may be dark, but not shady. Hands went up. 

“You guys can’t have that many questions.” Aizawa said.

“Are you a hero?” 

“Are you a hero’s daughter?”

“What’s your quirk?”

“How did you get this job? Teaching sounds boring!”

“Enough. This isn’t constructive.” Aizawa said. “She’s helping me with paper work since I have chronic dry eye.”

And like that she was put to a computer. It looked like she was reviewing grades or emails, maybe even data entry, but in reality, she was reviewing a grade she had for a paper. It was a B, she could have been better, but it was a rushed job. Reading the comments just tore her apart. Then a shadow loomed over her desk. 

“Do you have a stapler, Ms. Veilia?” The kid with weird elbows asked. 

Her eyes scanned the desk and noticed there wasn’t one. What kind of teacher did that hack think he was. His poor students didn’t even have staplers even at such a prestigious hero school.

“Yeah, I got one.”

 Y/n unclipped a mini stapler off her keychain attached to her belt. He was surprised it was a gator stapler. He didn’t think that Aizawa would have such a colorful aid with fun supplies. 

“This is cool.” The weird elbow kid said.

Oh my god he’s trying to make conversation. Y/n froze. Duh it’s a cool stapler, it’s making the ordinary everyday supplies extraordinary fun-plies! She can’t say that out loud! Embarrassing!

“How many staples do you need?”

“J-just one.”

This topic sucked. 

“I’m gonna take that back now.”

“My name is Sero Hanta.”

 This must have been the casual way to meet the students. She did miss role call. 

“Nice to meet you.”

 He gave her a smile and sat back down. A red head and hound him for information about the teaching aid. Was she that cool to just exist in the classroom? The interesting sigh of the class was the white haired kid. There were so many one or two word things to describe him and instantly people would know it’s him. The six arm guy, the mask one, arm flap, tall ass tree. His hair covered what she assumed would be another eye. He definitely caught her eye. He probably had a million cool nicknames. No one at her old school looked as cool as him. Mysterious, handsome, tall, probably a grocery getter champion. A whole package.

However not one student was easy to ignore. Sure six arms was a quiet guy, but look at him, his existence just speaks cool. The plain looking brunette girl was hella hyper and bubbly with wide eyes. The pink troll looked interesting and was interesting. Sero had some weird elbows. Half and half was didn’t speak much, but his face was scarred. It was hard keeping track of all of them because she couldn’t focus on what everyone was. So many people, so many names, she could be so rude, if she couldn’t figure them all out. So many strangers. 

 A mug broke. 

“Can you clean this up, Velia?” Aizawa asked. 

Something to do! She couldn’t read the harsh comments all damn day! She mopped up the coffee, swept the pieces up and now she was done. Nothing to do! Luckily the lunch bell rang. The students all began to leave. Aizawa stayed behind with the girl. 

“How’s your first day going?” He asked in a monotone voice.