#or maybe i have seen it idk this ask is old. the mike has no internalized homophobia take is always silly to me they're usually also saying

[maddy-ferguson]

No matter what happens, I literally never learn.

I just keep deluding myself into thinking that I have to hear the other side of a debate to be completely sure of my opinion (I do this a lot bc it’s hard for me to form strong opinions for some reason). Then I’ll read something stupid, but since they said it so confidently, I’ll start to second guess myself. Like girl… you know damn well that not all takes are equal.

This is about a post I saw where they said that they think mike has no internalized homophobia btw

you're so me actually i do this too

[spectersgirl]

what if harvey specter’s wife worked from home and has a last minute work emergency, so harvey had to take their daughter to work? hope that made sense 😭.

I loved this prompt! I changed it eeeever so slightly but it doesn't affect the overall product. I'm working on making these longer which does mean that it'll take me longer between posts but I'm hoping length makes up for it?? Or maybe this is too long. Idk. I've been writing it for daysssss. I think I don't love the end quarter or so, but I wanted to get it out there. Also I decided to name the daughter, I'm not sure how I feel about doing that versus just using Y/D/N so let me know what you all think? I'd use a different name each time I wrote something with a daughter in it so that it doesn't feel like a series or the same character in different universes.

-----

Work with Dad

Harvey Specter x Reader (except you're barely in it lol)

You rolled over at the sound of your phone buzzing incessantly on the nightstand, fumbling for it and answering sleepily.

"Hello? Oh shit, okay I'm on my way." Immediately, you got up and began rushing around to get ready.

"Who's that?" Harvey mumbled, having woken up to your call.

"Work, there's an emergency and I have to go take care of it. I know you have to work but, I can't take Olivia with me to the restaurant and my parents work today... Do you think you could bring her with you?"

Harvey sighed, knowing you were right. It would be easier for him to bring the four-year-old with him to his office as opposed to the very high-end restaurant you ran. Normally on the days you worked away from the house Olivia was in preschool, but today wasn't a school day for her.

"Yeah, that's fine. I have a pretty easy day today, and it's been a while since she's seen everyone anyway." He said, getting out of bed himself and heading to take a shower.

You quickly yelled to him before you left, thanking him for taking one for the team.

Once Harvey finished his shower, he pulled a suit from the closet and put the dress shirt and pants on, opting to leave his suit jacket off for now, knowing he'd likely have to do some wrangling of a certain toddler. As he had this thought, tiny footsteps sounded down the hall toward the bedroom.

"Hi Daddy" Said the tiny voice of his daughter as she ran toward him, arms in the air.

"Good morning princess! How'd you sleep?" He asked, lifting her with ease and kissing her cheek.

"Good, where's Mama?" She asked, knowing the two of you normally got ready together each morning. She was pretty damn smart for her age, and Harvey knew this fact would get him into trouble someday.

"Mama had to go take care of something at work, but guess what? You get to spend the day with Daddy at the firm!" He told her excitedly, raising his eyebrows.

Olivia was hesitant at first, she didn't know exactly what it was that her dad did every day, but she saw him on his computer a lot, and that didn't seem very exciting to her. She was about to protest this, but then she remembered some of her most favorite people worked with her dad.

"Can we see Mike and Rachel?" She asked.

Harvey laughed, nodding.

"And Donna?"

"And Donna." He confirmed with a smile. "You wanna get dressed so we can go see them?"

Immediately, she began squirming to get down from his grasp. Harvey obliged, following the girl to her room to help her pick out an outfit. She eventually elected for her favorite pink dress with flowers, and Harvey approved, finding her a pair of shoes to match.

A short while later, Harvey and Olivia were headed up to the Pearson Specter offices. She couldn't stop talking about how excited she was to see everyone, and Harvey had to keep reminding her that they had work to do and that they might not be able to be with her as much as she had hoped. Harvey had packed a day's worth of activities in a backpack to keep the little girl occupied in his office, and hopefully out of everyone else's business.

The elevator doors opened, and Olivia nearly pulled Harvey's arm out of the socket trying to get to her favorite people as fast as she could. He scooped her up into his arms, foiling her plans. She adorably crossed her arms in frustration, making Harvey chuckle as he walked toward his office.

"We just have to drop our stuff off in Dad's office first, then we can go see your friends, okay baby?"

She agreed, understanding that the quicker she cooperated, the quicker she got what she wanted.

Harvey put all their stuff down in a small pile on the couch in his office, telling himself he'd deal with it later. He knew Donna wouldn't be in for a little longer as he was earlier today than he normally was, but Mike and Rachel were more than likely already hard at work.

"Alright princess, wanna go see Mike?"

Her eyes went so wide Harvey thought they'd pop out of her head. He laughed and opened his door, pointing down the hall and following as she ran ahead of him. She nearly missed his door she was going so fast, but stopped herself when she noticed him seated at his desk.

"Knock before you go in, Liv" Harvey reminded the girl, grinning when her tiny fist tapped the glass of Mike's office door.

He looked up, not seeing her at first and waving Harvey in and looking back down at his stack of papers.

"You're in early, something wrong?" "MIKE!!!" Olivia yelled, startling the junior partner before realizing what was going on.

"Livi! How's my favorite Specter?" He asked, getting out of his chair to lift her into a bear hug.

She giggled uncontrollably until he set her back down.

"Well, I'd be offended but she happens to be pretty cool, so I'll let you have that." Harvey said, grinning as he watched his daughter run in circles around Mike's office while he chased her. There wasn’t much space in the junior partner's office, so the chase didn’t last very long.

"Where's Rachel?" Olivia wondered out loud. Mike kneeled down to her level.

"Rachel has school in the mornings, so she won't be here for a little bit longer." Mike explained, but this only confused her further.

"But... isn't Rachel a grown-up?" She asked, making Harvey and Mike smile.

"She's in law school, baby. Some grown-ups go to extra school so they can do their special jobs. Daddy went to law school too, and Mama went to business school and cooking school." Harvey explained.

“Did Mike to go extra school?” Olivia asked

Harvey and Mike share a look before looking back at Olivia.

“Mike’s a long story.” Harvey said.

Olivia seemed to be satisfied, or she stopped caring about his answer. Either way, she nodded and continued laughing and playing with Mike while her dad stood off to the side, only a little offended that she hardly even remembered he was still standing there.

He looked down at his watch, noting the time and figuring Donna was probably at her desk by now.

"Liv, do you want to go see if we can find Donna?" Harvey asked, and the little girl screamed like she was at a Taylor Swift show, jumping up and down with pure glee.

"Did she get this excited to see me?" Mike asked. Harvey chuckled, shaking his head.

"Not even close, sorry Mike. C'mon kid, let's go" Harvey said, lifting Olivia high in the air and onto his shoulders, holding tightly as he walked.

"Oh Donna, I have a surprise for you," Harvey said over the sounds of his daughter's laughter.

"Well, I wonder what the surprise could be! Hmmm, is it a pony? Oh a pony wouldn’t fit in the elevator… Maybe you should give me a hint." She said facetiously, acting as if she had no idea Olivia was there.

"It's me!" Olivia yelled, unable to keep the ‘surprise’ of her presence in any longer.

"Oh it’s Olivia! Hi beautiful! That’s a way better surprise than a pony!" Donna exclaimed. "How'd you get so lucky to come to work with your dad?"

"Her mama had a work emergency so daddy got to take her in with him, huh Liv?" Harvey explained, and Donna nodded in understanding.

Olivia nodded, smiling down at both Donna and her dad, still up high on his shoulders. She reached her arms toward Donna, so Harvey lowered her to the floor. Donna quickly scooped her up and placed her on her hip, giving the girl hugs and exaggerated cheek kisses.

“It’s been so long since I’ve seen you, who let you get so big?”

Olivia pointed at Harvey, smiling happily.

“Umm no ma’am, I specifically told you to stop growing, if it were up to me you’d still be my tiny little baby.” Harvey said, poking her side playfully. She giggled, pushing his hands away with her tiny ones.

"Have you had fun so far Livi?" Donna asked, and Olivia smiled and nodded profusely.

"I ran down the hall soooo fast and Mike chased me in his office and then me and Daddy found you!"

"Wow Olivia! That sounds like a really cool morning!" A voice said from behind. Everyone turned to see none other than Jessica strutting down the hall.

Harvey knew Jessica wouldn’t particularly love the idea of his four year old daughter hanging around in his office all day, but he also knew there was nothing else he could do. He was a parent above anything else, so he was going to do what he had to do.

“Livi, do you remember Jessica?” Harvey asked.

Olivia nodded, a bright smile on her face.

“It’s great to see you again cutie” Jessica said with a smile of her own.

“Look I know you’re probably mad but-“

“Harvey relax, I’m not mad. Just as long as she doesn’t get into anything she shouldn’t, she's welcome here." Jessica stated, easing Harvey's mind. He nodded in understanding and watched as she walked back to her office.

"Alright Liv, I've got some work to do in my office and I brought you some fun stuff to do while I work. Maybe later we can come back out and see Donna if she's not too busy, alright?"

Olivia huffed in disappointment, but she knew better than to fight with her dad. He placed his hands out to grab her from Donna, who regrettably handed her over. She had known the little girl since before she was even born, and she loved her like she was her own blood.

Harvey was actually able to get some work done, and Olivia enjoyed her time coloring in her coloring books and playing with the toys her dad had packed for her. Soon enough, she was hungry for lunch and Harvey took her into the kitchen to retrieve the lunchable he had brought her. Eventually, she grew tired and ready for her nap. When Harvey looked over at his couch after a suspiciously long period of silence, he saw her fast asleep. He smiled, standing and taking his suit jacket off, draping it over her small frame. She napped this way for about an hour, and when she woke up, she was overjoyed to learn that Rachel had finally come to the office.

"Rachel!!!" Olivia yelled in the doorway of Rachel's office, and she was quick to run in for a hug.

"Livi! Hi cutie! I heard you were here today, I couldn't wait to get done with school so I could see you!" Rachel said as she scooped the little girl up for a big hug. Olivia wrapped her arms around Rachel's neck happily.

"Do you have fun at big girl school?" Olivia asked.

"Law school is very different from normal school, so it's a lot harder, but it's what I love doing so that makes it fun!" Rachel explained.

"Do you get to color there?"

"No, theres no coloring. There's lots of reading and talking to other students and learning though!"

"I think I like my school better, we get to color and play and sing!"

This made Rachel laugh, and nod her head.

"Keep it that way as long as you can girly." Rachel said.

"Liv, it's almost time to go home. You wanna come say goodbye to everyone?" Harvey interrupted from the doorway.

Olivia nodded sadly, crossing the room to take her father's outstretched hand.

"Bye Rachel, have fun in big girl school."

"I will, bye Livi"

Harvey led her back through the office, stopping at everyone's offices so she could say her goodbyes, stopping at Donna's desk last. She gave the red-haired woman the biggest hug she could, Donna was her most favorite person after all.

When Olivia got home, she was thrilled to find her mom was there waiting for her and Harvey with dinner in the oven. She couldn't resist telling her mother about every last detail of her thrilling day at her dad's job.

"Well that's exciting! It sounds like you were a good little employee for daddy" You mused, looking up at Harvey with a grin.

"She's the best damn paralegal I've ever had. Might just have to hire her" Harvey joked.

"Does that mean I have to go to big girl school? That sounds really not fun."

You and Harvey laughed.

"Baby, if you don't want to go to big girl school we can talk about that when you're older." You reassured.

"You think with that attitude she has she won't want to be a lawyer like her old man?" Harvey said, smirking.

"Oh, she'll want to be in debate before she hits high school."

[findafight]

I’m a sucker for Steve learning about the party’s interests, do you have any thoughts about the kinds of things he’d do for each party member? (E.g. he has the ability to recognize tony hawk, despite his inconspicuousness, because of max’s skateboarding)

Actually now I'm obsessed with the idea that Steve is one of the few people who are not personal friends with him who is able to identify Tony Hawk without a skateboard. Like. Steve is an athlete and respects athleticism, and gives credit where it is due. (He does NOT allow making fun of Olympic athletes, even the weird sports, just because some people don't appreciate how hard you work for it.) So he's like "wow that Tony guy sure is talented. He is so high in the air. Good for him." And never forgets his face. At some point someone shares one of those "didn't recognize actual skate legend Tony Hawk " stories except it ends with "and then the guy in pastels standing beside Eddie Munson slapped his (Eddie's) chest and went "hey!! That's Tony Hawk!! Let's see if we can get an autograph for Max!" And I realized I had been making awkward small talk about cocktail weenies with sports legend Tony Hawk while working up the courage to ask Eddie Munson for an autograph."

He also tries to learn how to Ollie but he's actually really nervous and wears all the protective gear possible and is only able to go forward. (This is from my personal experience being post concussive and not a good skater. It's scary! My brain meat is delicate!) But Max tells him it's okay and talks about the skatepark in California and some of her old friends from there, and he tries to teach her how to make fried rice.(one of the only actual meals that isn't breakfast food he can cook really well completely from scratch) She gets him to do her hair with El because Steve is the only other person who understands that for El hair is a means of control, and that taking care of it is something important to that feeling.

He and El do jigsaw puzzles together and listen to folk music I think. El would appreciate having the option to talk or not, and likes listening to Steve talk too. Also I like jock El so he gets her overly invested in the Cubs like tells her all the lore and she's obsessed with the goat and she joins a softball team. When she first yells at an umpire for a bad call Steve almost cries of pride. Like. Finally. He's not the only one who Gets It.

Lucas and him bond over basketball yes. But Lucas doesn't yell at refs, and Steve gets why but thinks it's very fun when people yell at officials. Also I think they watch clouds together after practicing. Just nice peaceful, laying on warm blacktop and staring at the sky. Maybe El joins them and Lucas and El can bond this way too. Steve and his little jock siblings. (Why does no one consider max a jock for skateboarding? I guess it wasn't really seen as a sport for a long time...hm..)

Steve also bought a flat of new coke before they stopped selling it and keeps it for Lucas on movie nights or whatever and everybody always yells and groans because where is getting that!! It was discontinued!! Also they watch anime together. Erica and Robin join.

I can see him getting into some video games with Dustin and Mike and Lucas. Only the two or more player ones though he doesn't like playing alone. Like. Okay this whole post has anachronisms but please imagine him playing Lego Star Wars (complete saga) with Dustin. The chaos. The yelling.

He's absolutely a pinball guy. They go to the arcade and everyone does their thing but then end up cheering Steve on as he goes for idk star trek pinball glory. Without even tilting it! Idk what to tell you but Steve def loves pinball.

Also before his dad cut him off or after he gets some kind of inheritance he does a very financially secure impulse buy: he purchases an arcade game. Full size. I am partial to Asteroids because that's what my dad impulse bought in the 80's and had it in our basement growing up but let's keep this going he has a themed pinball machine. Icon.

He 100% reaches Dustin to drive. Mrs. Henderson asked him because Steve just looked sad when she mentioned teaching him and she was like well...we could BOTH teach him :) (because she has mentally adopted him. She told him to call her Ma and he does and Robin is like Steve. That's your mum now. And Steve's like no... Everybody calls her that. And she saysnSteve. Only Dustin. Her actual literal son. Calls her that. Guess what that makes YOU.)

Steve and whole party Lego Building Buddies? Mayhaps?

I wish tamagotchis were out in the 80's because Steve would be so diligent a Tama babysitter Erica would sell his services to her friends if they needed it lmao. He'd get all squinty and concentrated you know he'd highscore jump rope but not get the shapes game (me too buddy). Alas. Not to be.

Instead he listens to her talk about her elementary and middle school drama while looking for four leaf clovers. He also has watched MLP with her and may have teared up a little. Also, of course, she is his one true Game Master. Sorry Eddie

Mike is harder...maybe they bond over making snarky comments about people in movies, and then talk about how actually is car racing a sport? And it'd be sort of awkward because Mike has Nancy as an older sibling (even if they don't get along) and he's holding on to animosity that's pointless now. Plus Dustin and Lucas both seem to see Steve as a big brother and friend figure, but like. It's a bit weird for Mike. But still, Mike knows if he bikes to Steve's at two am he'll be hauled in and forced to sit down and asked if he wants a hug and hot chocolate.

Same with will, except Will has Jonathan (El does to but it's different) so at first they're sorta🧍🧍 staring at each other. Steve has to be like sooooo wanna. Tell me about Wizards? Or something? Cool...rocks? And Will would realize that this guy's just, y'know. A guy. Probably similar to Mike except he's not begrudging about it.

I guess a lot of Steve and the party is him listening to them and letting them actually be silly and kids, making snarky comments about the highschool dramas happening, and encouraging them to try different things (he did!) And figure out what they like outside of what they think the rest of the party likes.

[astronomodome]

Alright I was asked to make a list of all the The Garages songs I associate with life series things so I have done that

A few notes:

Songs are in no particular order (mostly just sorted by album as I was going through listening to them all)

All song titles (in color) are links to the respective songs, so you can listen to them :3

These songs are all worth listening to but my absolute favorites are marked in orange

Let me know what you think! I’ve been waiting so long to talk extensively about this :)))))) <- going to explode

list is below the cut because this got loooong

Astro Astronomodome’s Garages Life Series Playlist:

Eyes in the Dark- *gestures vaguely* how am I gonna live with these eyes in the dark when they’re following me around and they’re following you around 👍 and there’s nowhere you can go that they’re not there 👍

Jaylen Hotdogfingers Settles The Score- limited life winner martyn in thy little wood I am so normal about you <- lie

Godspeed- TIES sending off Skizz… see you space cowboy

Curse of Crows- third life grian-core, you know, when he was green and couldn’t actually kill but he and scar were going around being vaguely threatening. You could maybe use the crows in this as a metaphor for red life scar. Also birds

Relief Pitcher (Leave It On The Field)- Extremely strong vibes but I’m not sure of what. Maybe last life martyn? In the final battle? Idk. Maybe every martyn. I ljke him. (anyway this song changed my brain chemistry permanently so it deserves a place in the list regardless)

rooting for you- I’m delusional, bdubs is a species of plant, and ethubs is wlw. what is a nature wives

we had a season- ok this is THE desert duo song. No song will ever end of double life we’ve-spent-so-much-time-dancing-around-each-other-and-now-we-have-nothing-left-but-each-other desert duo as hard as this song. I have a very detailed AMV in my head of this so you know I’m right. It’s even a duet… ‘we had a season, we had a year/between when I died and when I reappeared’ (there’s almost exactly a year between grian’s last third life episode and scar’s first double life episode. I checked for this reason specifically and it killed me instantly) PLEASE just listen to this one ‘I had my reasons, I had my fears/I had my pride (I still had tears in my eyes as I died)’

dead ringer- just as the previous song is The desert duo song, this is The red king ren song. It slaps and the vibes are perfect. ‘my skin is made of energy, my blood is made of fire/I am what will happen when your best-made plans backfire’

hexed- very much post-3rd life watcher grian. pretty self-explanatory

The Alternate- ‘I’m new but I’ve seen so much/I’m old but I was not there’ do I even need to say it. Gem-as-Cleo and Lizzie-as-Pearl (‘I’ve done this once before’)

gamer grindset- yeah this is The Life Series Joel Song. you can fight me on this but you don’t have to because I know I’m right

a leap of faith- reminds me of scar. nothing in particular it just has similar vibes

haunted- ok now this is a Real watcher grian kind of song. ‘my body is a temple/for the gods of other men/wielded as a weapon by foes I swore I’d never be again’ ok. edgy bird moment

she’s dead and i’m someone else- this one requires some interpretation but I’ve always seen it was team BEST mourning the loss of bdubs. However it could also be applied to almost every ten in the life series that lost a member early lol

Mike Townsend (feels the shadows call)- specifically last life shadow alliance martyn but any martyn in general fits. he’s having a bad time

INCINERATE- just like. Being on your red life in general and the bloodlust and manic energy that brings. 😛 (edit after the finale: OKAY I KNOW THERES SO MANY LIMITED LIFE MARTYN SONGS BUT THIS IS ALSO ONE OF THEM ‘I know how to win this/I don’t need to play your games/I’m just gonna dance now/I’ll show you how to deal with pain’ ‘every day’s getting worse and we’re starting to choke/‘cause the water in the air is getting stuck in our throats’ LIKE COME ON MAN)

Sidelined- limited life skizz you will always be famous ‘am I just another wash-out/am I damned to go out swinging/I can’t hear you from the dugout/is there anyone else singing for me’ I am singing! I am singing for you skizzleman!!!!!!!!!

Firewalker With Me- the song. The myth. The legend. It’s just such a great song and it’s about life series grian’s curse of killing the people he cares most about. Grian is a parker if you think about it <- mentally ill (special note- ‘nobody deserves to be called a curse/but if you’re gonna resist I’m happy to make things worse’ is grian accidentally getting jimmy final-killed first in limited life btw)

We’ve Got History- not to be that guy but desert duo. Ok

New Year, Same Me- martyn.

The Return- the start of a new life series! Seeing old friends again! Missing friends who couldn’t make it (cough cough martyn missing ren in limited life cough cough)! Playing the game! Living and loving despite the horrors!

A Horrible Mistake We Will Make Again And Again- grian grian grian. Grain. The bird boy. Also easily one of my favorite Garages song titles. ‘If I don’t know the limits, how am I gonna break them?/If you think that we’re kidding well then you’re sorely mistaken’

The First Ain’t The Last- canary curse activated! Honestly the entirety of this album is just the average life series lmao ‘and one day you’ll wake up/and from the ashes a phoenix will rise/and she’ll hit like a champ/and burn out bright before your eyes’

The Ballad of Unremarkable Derrick Krueger- another one that definitely has life series vibes (and is just a really good song) but that I just can’t place. I want to say Tango honestly because he always has been somewhat painfully mediocre and has famously always final-deathed in underwhelming and meaningless ways

Rise- this is the Cleo song. Epic. Thank you Cleo :) Joe can be the monitor in this scenario I think he’d be good at it

RIV- does anyone still remember that part of martyn’s last life lore where the mysterious voice was promising that he would get to see jimmy mumbo and impulse again if he followed its instructions? Well……

Hell’s Game- Blaseball is a death game and this song leans into that so naturally it fits pretty well with the life series as a whole. Would make a great AMV

5am Shift- Ok bear with me here. This doesn’t really fit Pearl other than the song title (lol) and maybe you can make some parallels to cleaning lady Pearl but it gives me her vibes. Plus it’s just a whole jazzy banger and one of my favorite songs so it’s going here anyway :)

Nullified- for the end of limited life. pretty self-explanatory ‘wasted all my minutes/trying to stay alive/and look where it got me/I’m just the last one nullified’ honestly worked better before the actual finale because martyn was more manic about it than this song would imply

STRIKEOUT!- life series mumbo my horrible wet cat. this song is a little weird but it suits him I think

The Tug- they never left the desert.

SUN 2- obligatory flower husbands song for all the flower husbands enjoyers out there. Time to go cry I guess

flooding/drowning- big impdubs moment. Or honestly just any of bdubs’s life series exes reminiscing… ‘and you’re angry when the energy rises to meet you/like the life rafts are disrespectful to the sea’ is the most life series bdubs thing I’ve ever heard

REMEMBERTHEM- very good and classic anti-watcher song. If c!martyn was just a little more aware of his situation I think this would fit better (honestly a lot of good garages songs just don’t fit very well because we haven’t quite reached the ‘let’s kill the watchers’ stage of the lore yet lmaooo)

Nothing Happens Every Day- tfw when no life series 🥺 could also be martyn because he loves to kill <3

historic season nine party time speedrun and associated records- mean gills vibes. a nice quiet evening in the coral isles, reminiscing

Mike Townsend Is A Disappointment- I’m so sorry Jimmy but it fits too well

Bonus! Hermitcraft-adjacent songs:

Storm’s Raging- moon big. the long, slow, inevitable end of the world. Bdubs looking up at the sky as it falls on him. the lyrics kick ass as well: ‘there were days when it all seemed never ending/when all you could hear was the forecasts, the fear/and the sound of the cloudline bending’ (and the way it speeds up at the end……. omg)

howling at twin moons- s8 scar. I will not elaborate

alaynabella hollywood- ariana griande <- wait who said that

golden- rentheking arc I love you :3 viva la revolution

Sincerely, The Collateral- hermitcitizen song tbh

Beep or Bleat- despite the EXTREMELY zedaph-coded song title this is actually end-of-season 8 tango moon landing-core. ‘do we possess a soul/does it exceed the speed of light/can it escape black holes/do we still have a chance to fight’

Nut Economy- another rentheking arc song. You can tell when I started watching HC from this can’t you. Well. Royal emeralds I miss you :(

Morning is Coming- HONESTLY if I had the ability to make AMVs this would be top of my list. It’s just so… so much. Escaping moon big at the end of season 8… I know it’s overdone at this point but it’s rotating around in my head all the time. What does it say about me that there are two moon big songs here and they’re both my favorites…

fourteen days is not enough for my screams to reach your ears- another tango lost in space at the end of season 8 song. it messed me up ok

psychoacoustics- I love convex* *DISCLAIMER: 99% of the convex knowledge I have comes from fan interpretation alone. Alternatively I could just be really trying to manifest a zedaph villain arc

oliver mueller (is a hero)- docm77 for several reasons which will become apparent almost immediately

hello world- grumbot I love you :] (putting in a different version so you can tell what the lyrics are without subtitles and I’m sorry because this version of the song is somewhat worse. they just start singing godspeed in the middle of it for some reason and like I’m not complaining I love that song but also why) (here’s the original version)

the entire kansas city breath mints team failed the bar exam- hermitcraft. no elaboration is necessary

[rybonucleic-ket]

I just think that we, as a fandom, as a SOCIETY, don't talk enough about the fact that millie was literally a byler circa 2017.

AND SHE GAVE THEM HER OWN SHIP NAME. WHICH MEANS IT WASN'T EVEN INFLUENCED BY THE FANDOM.

i have seen one (1) person refer to mike and will as "mill" and her name is millie bobby brown. i have heard miwi, I have heard byler, but mill is 100% millie in my mind idc idc

on a live with her brother

cb: "'do you ship mike and will' mike and will? oh, absolutely. 100%."

mbb: *nodding in agreement* "yeah, for sure. mill"

cb: "mill! *gasps*"

mbb: "I hope they're a love triangle."

cb: "cAN YOU STOP LEANING ON ME THO-"

[x]

additionally, when asked about mileven on live, someone else (idk who, someone in the car with her) talks about how mileven friendship is great but they're dysfunctional bc no communication. millie replies, "that's a great way to put it."

mind you, both of these came out on instagram lives, not official interviews, where actors are generally more open with opinions. both also occurred before the insane homophobia shit. like.

maybe cut her some slack???? her more recent interview about byler was worded in a shitty way, yes. she was also harassed off twitter for literally baseless, unfunny, honestly fucked up homophobia jokes. when she was like. fuckin 13 years old!!! homophobic millie shit is still alive and well in 2023. do you realize being an actor constantly in the spotlight, under the pressure of interviews in front of hundreds of people live and millions on the internet, trying to avoid spoilers, and also dealing with people who claim you run gay people over with cars might impact how freely you express your opinion??? like???

I am a full homo gay guy and if I went in front of that many people with that much pressure and also jokes about me running over gay people I honestly would probably not be able to say what I actually think about anything.

like. not to mention noah has proclaimed himself a milebwn shipper a multitude of times. said it's his favorite ship at least once. clearly not his real opinion.

anyway. millie was an og byler. if you even care.

[unisexobject]

Chapter VII. Closer

Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader Summary: A callous run-in with a certain someone leads you and Eddie to grow closer, but are your enemies more dangerous than they seem? Trigger Warnings: Violence, blood, past trauma, ptsd, exposed skin, idk Author's Note: I know it has been a hot minute since last, but life has been seriously roundhouse kicking my ass. Next chapter, a character that rhymes with sissy goes snap, crackle and pop...

Having Eddie in the same classes as you was not as enjoyable as it sounded.

He would always grab your arm and start drawing all over, creating little but many illustrations of old rickety houses, lightning bolts, bats, cemeteries and wyverns across your supple skin. It lead to you furiously scrubbing his artwork off during lunch just before you got home, sick of your parents questioning you over your impromptu sleeve and the curly haired metal head who barely left your side.

Eddie also couldn't be quiet, as the constant tapping of his ivory Reeboks or the clinking of thick metal rings practically drove you insane. Let alone his constant whispering of absolute nonsense into your ear - whether it be the melodic tune of his latest hyperfixation or completely inappropriate comments about Mrs. O'Donnel - that nearly made you burst into laughter every lesson.

But the worst of all, was that he needed you to explain practically everything from class to him. Not satisfied until his thousand "but why" 's were answered. Despite his subtle intelligence and unabating creativity, Eddie still needed a little hand here and there. And God was he annoying. 

On today's menu, creating original poetry. Great, you thought.

You groaned across the cafeteria table after Eddie had pestered you about helping him write.

"I'm going to see Robin at Family Video first after school, so come over a little later." 

Your best friend flashed his pearly grin. 

You hadn't seen Robin over the last few days, apparently she was caught up in some business with Nancy and Steve. You hoped that she would be there this afternoon to help you pick out something to watch later tonight. 

"Why is Jason Carver looking at you and Y/N like that?" Dustin asked. 

His comment pulled you out of your reverie.

The whole table turned their head in unison toward the infamous Jason Carver, or to the balls-and-laundry-basket table as Eddie so imaginatively coined. 

It was true. Jason's expression was a little unsettling. His face was hard and stern, like he was in the midst of taming his blazing rage. He barely broke away his piercing gaze from Eddie.

"Maybe he's still pissed about Y/N dunking a big fat bowl of punch on his stupid head." Gareth mused. 

His comment earned a light chuckle from the table. You and Eddie smiled in earnest.

"Don't forget how she threatened to fight him too." Dustin interposed. 

"Yeah. He's probably like, super embarrassed." Mike added. 

"Embarrassed that Eddie has Chrissy wrapped around his little finger." Jeff retorted teasingly. 

The whole table laughed, except for you and Eddie.

Your smile dropped along with your gaze. You scratched the back of your neck sheepishly, attention returning to your carrot sticks. They no longer were as appetising as they were when lunch had started, the slender orange now suddenly a nauseating sight.

Eddie remained still and wary - and unbeknownst to you - death staring Jeff for his flippant comment. He didn't have Chrissy wrapped around his finger. It was obvious from the moment that she flashed her wide smile and innocent eyes and asked Eddie if he had "the stuff" that she wasn't interested in him. At least not in that way. Sure Chrissy showed Eddie genuine kindness, but she was more concerned with what he had to offer.

Eddie didn't understand why the thought of him and Chrissy spoken aloud made him so uncomfortable. He had a crush on her not too long ago and felt free enough to share the desires of his heart to you. In fact, it was something he still ruminates on, groaning to himself as he tosses and turns late at night. He wanted to go back in time and smack his past self in the face for acting like such a love sick fool.

But ever since his fire for her fizzled out, he became incredibly anxious at the thought of you thinking that he still liked her. 

The second Jeff teased Eddie about it, his heart quickened. He couldn't hide his immediate shift in demeanour.  Eddie couldn't understand why he even felt concerned about the whole thing to begin with.

"I do not." Eddie snapped. 

Everyone went silent, his sudden change in mood earning confused looks from a sea of naive eyes.

"I mean..." He continued in a much calmer tone. "I don't know what you're talking about." 

You started to bite your nails absentmindedly, desperate for something to distract you from the unpleasant conversation that seemed to encircle you. 

"Don't you meet her in the woods outside of school all the time?" Gareth asked humourlessly. 

That's our spot. 

You met Eddie's gaze, a twinge of sadness growing in your chest. Its weeds wrapped around your heart when Eddie stayed silent, his doe eyes boring into yours. 

After a moment, he continued on. 

"I told you not to mention that out loud Gareth. It's not exactly public knowledge." Eddie seethed, briefly looking around to ensure no one in the busy cafeteria heard. 

You looked away from Eddie, unable to decipher the all encompassing distrust that suddenly emerged.

You didn't really have much reason to doubt Eddie, his heart bold and honest on his sleeve. Yet, for some reason you did. These feelings of almost jealousy made you wary. 

"I help her take the edge off, that's all. If Jason knew, who knows what he would do to the both of us." 

Gareth and Jeff hummed in response, willing to drop the whole thing out of boredom. Like they were a dog playing with a chew toy whose piercing squeak were no longer entertaining. 

So, you and Eddie finished your lunch in silence, whilst the rest of the boys returned to mindless chatter. But your mind - as usual - would be consumed by thoughts that your best friend was growing dishonest with you. And soon enough, would learn the dreadful yet all too true past which followed you everywhere. 

-

It was afternoon now and you were at Family Video, hoping to catch Robin to help you rent a film for your post writing session with Eddie. You wandered the aisles, waiting to discover something that would please the both of you.

Eddie adored anything scary and filled with gore, whilst you enjoyed the likes of a good story or some German expressionism. Although, getting Eddie to enjoy a silent film was a terribly hard task. He had never been one to focus and needed dialogue to really capture his attention. 

You hoped that whatever weird funk you were in at lunch would dissipate by the time Eddie arrived. You hoped even more, that watching a movie together would put your mind at ease, allowing you to fall into sync with your best friend effortlessly. 

You were tossing up between Frankenstein and Nosferatu, hoping for Robin to pop around and help you decide.

"Hey." Steve beamed.

His voice caught you off guard, causing you to drop Nosferatu onto the carpet. 

"Shit." You muttered, crouching down to pick it up. 

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. Although, based off the looks of it that's what you're after?" 

He motioned toward the films in your hands and smiled convivially. 

"Yeah, I have a thing for vampires and reanimated corpses it seems." You shook your head, playfully ashamed.

Steve smiled wide and leaned against the shelf, stumbling a little when his elbow missed the surface. 

He cleared his throat. 

"You doing okay? After Friday, I mean. Thought I'd have to call the cops to haul you away." He mused teasingly. 

You genuinely laughed, somehow coming around to the humour of the previous Friday. 

"I don't know what you put in that punch Harrington, but it really got my wires mixed up." You replied playfully. 

He scratched his chin and flaunted his pearly teeth.

"And here I was thinking that they were already like that." 

"Hey!" You chided. 

You smacked him on the side jestingly and chuckled at his antics. When he recovered, he took a deep breath.

"So, what are you doing here?" Steve asked, leaning the side of his head on closed knuckles. 

"You know, looking for something to watch tonight. I'm just waiting for Robin to help me out." 

As if saying her name had spoken her into existence, she magically appeared next to you.

"Nosferatu? I mean it's not bad, but The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari is way better. Might relate to it a bit more considering you aren't sleeping these days." Robin remarked, resting a gentle hand on your shoulder. 

You and Steve exchanged knowing glances, glint of humour dancing around in your eyes. 

"Hello to you too." You replied sarcastically.

"Wait, you're not sleeping?" Steve questioned with a furrowed brow. 

Before you could clarify, Robin did.

"Yeah dingus, she keeps having these awful nightmares and crazy nosebleeds. The other day her headache was so bad that she didn't listen to her walkman because the headphones hurt to be on her head." She explained animatedly. 

Your eyes widened in embarrassment. It wasn't a big deal and Steve didn't need to know. You were afraid that he would worry or look at you as if you had some serious psychological issues. Not like it would be such a terrible fate, but you didn't think something so odious could be easily digested by someone like Steve. 

"Thank you for the suggestion Rob, but I think that's my cue to leave." 

You gently squeezed Robin's shoulder to soothe her and hopefully discreetly inform her that she had overshared. 

Steve forced a placating grin as he ran a firm hand through his swirly mane. 

You waved a kind hand to Harrington as you walked out of Family Video, hoping to God that this weird tizzy of a day would draw to a close soon.

-

The warm Indiana afternoon faded into a raven sky, set aglow by tiny speckles of constellations. Sprawled across your fuzzy rug still in the same clothes, worry ate at you when Eddie still hadn't arrived. 

It was 9pm and you were coming to the conclusion that perhaps he never would. You were slightly worried, yet mostly annoyed. He had pestered you at lunch about helping him with his poetry. But maybe he ended up with Chrissy? The thought kept pervading your mind, never allowing you to rest. 

Desperate to get comfortable, you slowly rose from your languid position in hopes to change into something more agreeable. 

After you discarded your shirt and jeans onto your bedroom floor, leaving you in just your underwear and white singlet, you slowly pulled on some great sweat pants and woolly socks. 

Just as you pulled them on, a sudden yet light tap from your bedroom window garnered your attention. You snapped your head in its direction, heart almost going asystole at the intrusion, until a familiar head of curls came into view. 

Clutching at your chest in fear, you watched as Eddie gave a small wave through the window pane. You let out a relieved breath and slowly stalked your way over. 

The window opened with a click. 

"Eddie." You breathed, voice a little raspy from fright. "What on earth are you doing? You were supposed to be here hours ago." 

Eddie hoisted a jean clad leg over the frame and slid into your room with practiced ease. 

"Was a little caught up." He groaned in response as he tried to shut your window. 

"I was getting changed, you could have just come through the front door."

"Don't worry, I didn't see nothing." Eddie remarked unconcerned, turning around to face you. 

As your warm bedroom light hit his pale face, you noticed a shattered mosaic of deep blues and purples across his right eye and cheek. A bright crimson stain trailed down his Helfire shirt that was now soiled in what seemed to be blood. His plush bottom lip had an angry slit in it, revealing layers of tonal reds amongst vivid pink. Eddie looked like he had just come back from hell.

"Jesus fucking Christ." You muttered, taking his injured head into your hands. 

"Gentle, sweetheart." Eddie replied, wincing as your hands came to rest on his battered cheeks. 

A million thoughts ran through your mind all at once, as if each one were a train colliding directly into one another. Your eyes nearly burst out of your skull as you took in Eddie's injuries, making note of each indigo splotch and dots of dried blood. 

"Who did this to you?" You asked incredulously. Eddie swallowed the lump that had magically formed in his throat.

"Jason." He replied, sore lips grazing the inside of your palm. 

Eddie gripped your wrists gently and pulled them away from his face.

You remained silent as he skulked around your room, taking a liking to the end of your plush bed. He patted the spot next to him, motioning for you to come sit.

You held your arms over your chest and joined him. 

You might have appeared calm albeit shocked, but on the inside you were fuming. 

How the fuck could Jason do this? You wanted to stride over to his house and set him alight. You could barely wrap your head around it.

"Eds...why did he do this to you?" You asked softly, still bewildered by his injured complexion.

Your question made Eddie think back to this afternoon. 

"Hey freak!" Jason called, cornering Eddie in the school parking lot. 

Jason and his posse waited until late, the time of day where it was deserted and when Eddie had finished writing his newest campaign for Helfire in the drama room. 

Eddie turned around with a whoosh, only standing mere centimetres from his van. He barely had any time to register what was happening, falling to the ground with a thud. 

"Think you could get away with it freak? Hanging around Chrissy. Your little slut threatening me?" 

Jason started punching Eddie over and over and over. His rage unleashed and untamed. 

Suddenly Eddie was laughing, a wide smirk growing across his busted lip and bruised cheek. Jason stilled his vicious movements, brows furrowed in hesitancy.

"That's it Carver?" Eddie taunted. "I thought you were a tough guy, but you punch like a girl." 

Jason blinked in shock and stepped back, before throwing an even harder punch. Eddie rolled to the side and spat out some blood. 

"Maybe a little harder this time and you might actually leave a mark." He groaned.

Eddie tilted his head back in roaring laughter, smearing blood across his face with the back of his palm. 

Jason took the incentive and hit him harder and harder, growing ever more frustrated. Eddie was becoming battered and bruised, yet he didn't lose the fight. 

When Jason stepped away, conceding to Eddie's taunts and the feeling of humiliation, Eddie laughed even harder. 

"Come on champ, thought you were trying to prove me wrong." 

After several more punches and groans of frustration, they left a manically cackling Eddie in the parking lot, peeling away in Jason's car and driving off into the late afternoon. 

"Wait, he did this because of me?" You asked disbelievingly.

Eddie turned to face you, grabbing both of your wrists to anchor you to him. 

"No, absolutely not. He's had it out for me ever since middle school. This has nothing to do with you, okay?" Eddie soothed, absentmindedly running his thumb over the back of your palm 

You hung your head low, trying to listen to his comforting words. They were failing in their effectiveness. 

"There's a first aid kit in the bathroom, I'll be right back." You remarked, slowly slipping out of his reassuring grip. 

When you returned with swabs and gauze, you disinfected his many wounds. The sight of deep burgundy against sharp white made your stomach curl. You kept gently dabbing the cut above his eye, mesmerised at how a protuberant head of blood kept returning after several attempts at blotting the skin.

"What's the prognosis doc?" Eddie questioned sarcastically, momentarily breaking his trance from your worrisome complexion. 

You huffed, tucking a loose coil of hair behind his ear. You didn't want specks of dried blood to be caught in his mane.

"Well, you're going to be okay. Just a little swollen and bruised, but still beautiful." 

Eddie quietly crooned.  

"Did you hear that? My little Florence Nightingale thinks I'm beautiful." 

"Shut up." You warned, lightly smacking his arm. 

You placed all of the soiled swabs and gauze that were still slick with blood into a plastic bag. You closed the lid of the first aid kit from the bathroom and placed it on your night stand. 

The soft incandescence of your lampshade casted a warm glow in your room, subtly highlighting Eddie's battered complexion. He looked vulnerable in front of you, an elusive reminder that he was not impervious to pain or brutality. That Hawkins was a terribly violent place and people like Eddie, people who were different were a constant target. A source of retribution.

Just like in the past, people who you care about can be taken from you without warning, without any proper reasoning at all. And in the grand scheme of things, you are forever powerless to stop it. 

"Whatcha thinkin' about?" Eddie queried, nudging his jean clad knee with yours.

Your silence worried him. 

"Nothing." You replied instinctively. 

Your reply was thoughtless and even Eddie couldn't understand why you even attempted to lie at all. He knew you too well. 

What Eddie didn't know, was why you always kept him at arms length. Sure he had an idea that it had something to do with the enigmatic Matt, or your distant relationship with your parents, or even your past life before Hawkins (whatever that consisted of). But he could never really be certain and the weight of that speculation had started to become impossible.

Yet, he let it go and hummed softly in response.

"So um, you're gonna get mad at me for bringing this up but, when I saw you getting...getting-"

"Changed?" 

"Yeah, changed. I noticed a little something around your uh...hip area." 

Your eyes widened and you shot up from the bed. 

"Eddie! You said you didn't see anything!" You practically shouted. 

Eddie roared to his feet to join you.

"I know! I know! I didn't want you to feel...violated. I swear I didn't look on purpose!"

You turned to face him, groaning to yourself that Eddie had probably seen your half-naked form. Not just you in shorts and a singlet, but part of your bare things and hip bone. 

"Christ, Eddie." You muttered, relaxing back into the mattress. 

Eddie joined suit, mirroring your movements out of fear of your wrath for seeing you in such a vulnerable and compromising way. 

Another silent moment passed.

"So, is it uh, a tattoo?" He asked quietly. 

You turned to face him as his he cast his gaze toward his feet sheepishly. 

You let Eddie's question linger in the air, deliberating what to do next. It was a tattoo, but it wasn't done on a whim or for a stupid bet or dare. It was important, a part of something larger, something you hadn't shared with Eddie. Something that even the thought of sharing had you petrified. 

"You want to see?" You asked, barely above a whisper.

Eddie now turned to face you, fashioning a delicate expression of caution. He knew his abrasiveness could land him in some deep shit sometimes, but he didn't want this to be one of those times. Eddie had taken notice of how your mood would suddenly shift or how the air would carry something heavy at the drop of a pin. He had never really known what caused it, but he learnt that it was specific to you and he shouldn't push if he could help it. But he knew that moments where you would pull back the curtain even for a mere second were precious and worth savouring. 

"Okay." 

You cleared your throat before pulling down the right side of your waistband, slowly revealing an inky spot saddled on your hip. The whole thing felt so inglorious, revealing a strange part of skin that Eddie wouldn't have ever seen typically. It didn't feel sensual, it felt deeply pregnable. 

Suddenly, the small tattoo was completely exposed, the rest of your waist hidden by the fabric of your singlet. 

Eddie's breath hitched. Seeing a tattoo on you did something to him. What that something was, he wasn't quite sure yet. 

"It's a butterfly." You remarked, noticing his tacit silence. "A monarch more specifically." 

With your statement Eddie chuckled lightly. 

"I never would have expected you to have a tattoo." He replied, looking up to your orbs with a mischievous grin.

You hummed sardonically in response.

Before you knew it Eddie ran his thumb over the butterfly, sending sharp shudders down your spine. 

"You give me so much shit for my tattoos and the whole time you had one and didn't tell me." 

Eddie was smiling to himself, tracing the small orange inking, running his finger tip along the fanned out wings.

"I didn't get this so girls would think that I was hot Eddie." You chided, his hand still resting on your waist. 

"You think I'm hot?" Eddie asked, devilish smile growing.

You turned away, desperately wishing for respite from his grin, his burning touch, his all-encompassing proximity. The whole thing was a little too much for you all of a sudden. 

Eddie must have noticed, pulling up your waistband for you and shifting away nonchalantly. You couldn't hide anything from him. He was too terribly perceptive and it killed you.

"So why'd you get it?" He asked inquisitively.

You pulled your knees to your chest, attempting to compose yourself. 

"My brother always liked them." You replied, resting your elbows on your pale knees. "There used to be a whole cluster of them back home."

Eddie nodded in response, savouring the fitful acknowledgement of your past. 

You stood up from the bed and moved to the other side of your room. Opening the cupboard doors, you pulled out a crocheted blanket. 

"I don't think you should go home to Wayne looking like that, you should call him and tell him that you're staying here for the night." You mused as you placed the blanket gently into his lap. 

Eddie watched in awe as you moved around your room so effortlessly. He hadn't ever been treated with such kindness, softness or sentimentality in his entire life (apart from Wayne) until he had met you.

The way you always thought ahead, about little infinitesimal details that seemed to escape him so frequently, rendered him overcome with wonder. It was this moment that he wanted to cry, not because he was sad or fearful, but because he felt seen, cared for and loved. Even if it wasn't the kind of love that could be articulated in an overt way, it was the kind of love that surfaced so subtlety, yet always in complete abundance. 

-

“How do you even like this movie?” Eddie asked with a sigh. Mock annoyance dancing off his plush lips. He had already grown tired within the first few minutes, struggling to read the German that presented so boldly on the screen. 

You turned to your left, studying Eddie’s profile, or more distinctly his nose. You made note of its slanted descent and bulbous tip. You watched how the lowlight of the tv reflected off his pale skin, illuminating little mousy spots that peppered his complexion.

“I don’t know.” You started, nudging your shoulder with his as you laughed.

You looked to the raven words that flashed on the screen.

Does this word not sound like the deathbird

calling your name at midnight?

Beware you never say it - for then

the pictures of life will fade to shadows,

haunting dreams will climb forth from your heart

and feed on your blood. 

“You can’t ever deny death. But maybe you can commemorate sacrifice. Right the wrongs dying causes, even if it feels hopeless to do so. Even if you’re depleted of willingness to try.”

Eddie stilled, shock very much evident in his rigid features. You on the other hand had been consumed by heavy and existential ruminations. 

He studied the faraway look you possessed within your glowing black irises, drinking in your despair like crisp water in the middle of a dark night.

“And here I thought it was about a hairless vampire.” Eddie remarked jestingly.

It made you chuckle and turn away shamefaced. You hadn’t intended on growing so experiential.

But the movie had eventually ended, leaving you laden and dreary eyed on Eddie’s firm shoulder. He watched you breathe in and out slowly, consumed by the rise and fall of your heavy chest. 

He didn’t dare move - despite the stinging pain on the side you rested - afraid you would stir and wake. Even with the absolute shit beaten out of Eddie, he always thought of you in the way he thought of no other.

After gazing at your form as if you hung in the deep walls of the Uffizi like a Botticelli painting, Eddie drifted off into sleep. His body directly craned into yours, with calloused fingertips barely touching, the space between singing to the infinite. The two of you molded together so sweetly, naturally, like two small children unaware of the world's failings and frailty. 

[r6shippingdelivery]

i think the thing that bothers me most about the whole zofia and ela thing is that it feels like a massive retcon. like did anyone else read Zofia bio? because to me it heavily implies that zofia might have killed their dad?? like ubisoft???? hello?? and it sounds more like zofia tried to reconcile with ela rather than Ela trying to reach out to her sister and being rebuffed?? idk whatever man

but i love the shot of the two opposing sides in the parking lot and you can see Thatcher in the background because the SAS are losing Smoke after all this time! like how did that conversation go?? was Mike just like a "disappointed but not surprised" dad when Smoke decided to go or was he more all out angry with him? and also Lion seeing Finka go! they were partners so it must be hard for both of them too! and he most likely doesn't know her reasoning since very few people know about her illness :(

Oh, I am so very annoyed that they retconned the lore of the sisters (although retconning lore is a staple of Siege's writers, they always change stuff to suit their needs atm, leaving a mess to piece for the fans). Although I do not really share the same conclusions you reached. Lemme explain:

We're told that the sisters grew up being distant due to Jan Bosak playing favorites, Zofia accepting his harsh methods due to the trauma of when bullying classmates almost drowned her - she wanted to become stronger so she wouldn't be vulnerable again, while Ela struggled and rebelled under her dad's strict authority. They did NOT work together in the early years of their careers, Zofia went overseas and met her husband in Mali, and Ela dropped off the military school, went to art school in Berlin, and later joined a small PMC group.

When Zofia went back to Poland to get married, her wishes of a small ceremony were hijacked by her dad, who turned it into a marked celebration, reuniting the clique of politicians who took power after the assassination of Poland’s president. Zofia was shocked to see two former suspects among the crowd, embraced warmly by her father. She left the party early, feigning illness. While investigating what she’d seen, Zofia discovered she was pregnant (literal excerpt from her bio). She kept that pregnancy secret, probably out of fear or uncertainty. And in the following months, her dad committed suicide. Allegedly.

After the death of her dad and the birth of her daughter, Zofia learns Ela is joining GROM and it's then when she attempts to reconnect with her sister while following her into Rainbow. None of that bullshit of "we were a team for years, but when father died you left me alone", it's the fucking opposite of what their bios say!!

From Harry's psychological report of Zofia, we learn that Zofia struggles with her father's death. She doesn't believe it was suicide and asked if I can recover his autopsy report (again, literal excerpt). So no, this indicates she's obsessed with uncovering the truth, she suspects those politicians who organized the assassination of the president killed her dad too, maybe to tie loose ends. And she's obsessed with discovering the truth, Harry even hints she's asked him to use his connections to let her access those reports, but he doesn't think he has those kinds of connections, nor does he think it's necessarily a good idea to indulge this obsession of Zofia, cause it won't bring her closure.

As for how they might react to some of the ops joining Nighthaven, I'm not about to especulate about what will happen cause they re-write and tweak the characters and their motivations every single time they make up something new 🤷

I don't think Thatcher was pleased, nor understanding. He is an old person with very rigid views of work (as seen in his interactions with Dokkaebi in The Hammer and The Scalpel), and I'd wager with a callsign of "Thatcher" he's conservative, patriotic, and old fashioned. So he would not take it well, nor be understanding like a dad figure, imo. As for Finka... do we really know she joined NH? The only people we see in the car with Kali are Ela and Smoke, the latter welcoming Ela to the NH family. We assume IQ, Pulse and Finka also joined cause they were around the cars too, but we don't know for sure. We don't know either if Lion and Finka are close or not as work partners. Although, seeing how last year she was siding with Ash and defending her and looking for a brawl with the people siding with NH, it would be a surprise for everyone if she joins NH. As you said, only Doc knows about her condition, so they wouldn't see it coming.

[plaidbooks]

I get SO EXCITED when your fic requests open up!!!!! I would love to request some mutual pining/yearning between Dodds and one of his SVU detectives. Prompt "I'd do anything for you," maybe where his dad has noticed them eyeing each other secretly and gives Mike the old "WE've worked too hard to get you to this position." (Idk, maybe those should be 2 different requests? You can choose whichever you prefer!)

Every request i send in gets more and more long-winded 😅😳

Exchanging Glances

A/N: This was a fun prompt! I'm sorry it took me so long to write it, but I hope you enjoy it!

Tags: shootings, otherwise none

Words: 1918

Taglist: @witches-unruly-heart @beccabarba @thatesqcrush @itsjustmyfantasyroom @permanentlydizzy @ben-c-group-therapy @infiniteoddball @glowingmess @whimsicallymad @lv7867 @storiesofsvu @cycat4077 @alwaysachorusgirl @glimmerglittergirl @joanofarkansass @caracalwithchips @berniesilvas​ @qvid-pro-qvo @averyhotchner @imalostredheadinablondeworld

Mike being assigned to SVU was both a blessing and a curse. It was a blessing because the squad was short staffed, and he more than pulled his weight. He was also a great detective, and a great leader. The curse was how goddamn attractive he was.

He was your superior; there was no chance of a relationship with him. But you couldn’t stop the butterflies in your stomach when he smiled at you or complimented your work. The worst was when you walked into the locker room one day and found him in his undershirt, his dress shirt hanging open. The soft, white shirt left nothing to the imagination as he stretched against his broad chest, and it was a struggle to not stare…or drool.

He hadn’t even seemed embarrassed about it, talking easily with you as he slowly buttoned his shirt, his long fingers moving deftly. You had quickly made an excuse and practically fled the room. But after that moment, you couldn’t help but picture those strong arms holding you against his broad chest.

You often caught yourself staring at him while at your desks, before you’d look back to your computer screen, hoping no one noticed. Though of course, both Rollins and Carisi saw, and they teased you relentlessly for it.

“Why not ask him out?” Carisi asked you one day during lunch.

You choked on your egg roll. “A—absolutely not! He’s our boss,Carisi!”

“For how much longer?” Rollins chimed in. “I heard daddy’s tryin’ to move him.”

That made you pause; if Mike left SVU, you wouldn’t see him anymore…but maybe you could ask him out then. “Well, I’d rather wait until he’s gone before asking,” you replied, picking at your food.

“Come on, he’s a good guy,” Carisi said. “I bet Mike would love—”

“Love what?” Mike asked, coming into the break room and snagging a takeout box.

You felt how hot your face got, and you ducked your head, pretending to eat. Thankfully, Liv came into the break room, saving you all.

“We have a hostage situation. Let’s go,” she ordered before leaving. You all glanced at each other, fun times fading, before you were up, scrambling for your things in your desks.

*********************

You were huddled outside the door to the kitchen, gun in hand. Mike was on the other side of the doorframe, eyes locked to yours, gun in his hand as well. You were both flanked by the squad and officers, waiting for the go ahead from Liv. You knew she wanted to be in there with you, but as Lieutenant, she had to be outside, calling the shots for everyone involved.

“Green light,” she said into your earpieces. Mike nodded at you, and you nodded back. Then he took a step back and kicked the door in. You cut in front of him as he caught his balance, heading into the kitchen, eyes scanning. You had your gun up, and once you found your perp, you swiveled to aim at him. But he was faster; he fired before you even had the chance.

You grunted as you took a bullet in the ribs, your vest absorbing most of the impact. You still stumbled, though, the wind knocked from you. You being off balance turned out to work perfectly, as Mike was able to get a shot off, clipping the guy in the shoulder.

Both Carisi and Rollins headed for the perp while Fin checked on the woman who was being held hostage; she was shaking in a corner, hands and mouth duct taped. Mike, however, went straight to you.

“Are you okay?” he asked, face full of concern. He helped guide you towards the door, hands on your hips to help you walk.

You nodded. “Fine, fine. Got the vest,” you grunted, hand on place you were shot.

Mike led you down and out of the house, out onto the street. Liv read the situation and quickly came over, but you waved off her questions. Both of them guided you to a waiting ambulance, and the paramedics helped you get the vest off. They gently lifted your shirt to inspect the spot, which was already deeply bruised, a small bit of dried blood there from where the bullet broke skin.

Your face heated as you caught Mike’s eyes glued to the injury. “I’m fine, really. Just a bruise,” you muttered, trying to pull your shirt back down.

“We should take you in, make sure you didn’t break anything, or have internal bleeding,” one of the medics said.

You sighed, knowing you couldn’t argue. They helped you in the back, and you sat on the gurney.

“I’m riding with her,” Mike said to Liv. He handed her his gun before he climbed in, sitting next to you. You ducked your head in embarrassment as the doors closed and the ambulance pulled away.

******************

You sat on the hospital bed, and Mike was outside the room while you were patched up—mostly because your shirt was off. Once considered decent, though, he came in, giving the nurse a smile and nod in thanks.

“How’re you feeling?” he asked, that concern still in his eyes.

You smirked. “Like I was shot.”

Mike shook his head, grinning. “Glad to see you still have your sense of humor…. Thank you, though.”

“For what?”

“I was going to go in first, but you ran in front of me before I could stop you. In a sense, you took that bullet for me,” he explained.

You blinked at him, then blurted out, “I’d do anything for you.” Your face heated, and you dropped your eyes to the floor. “I mean, y—you’re my sergeant; of course, I’d take a bullet for you….”

“Well, I’d do anything for you, too, including taking a bullet, if it came to that,” he replied softly. At first, you thought he was just saying that. But the meaningful look he gave you made you pause. Was he saying what you thought he was?

Slowly, timidly, you reached out and took his hand in yours. He didn’t pull away; in fact, he stepped up close to you. His free hand came up to your face, and he cupped your cheek lovingly. You leaned into the touch, and his face got closer and closer—

“There you are, Mike! Benson said you were at the hospital with a detective,” a voice called from the door. Mike quickly moved away from you, dropping your hand, and you swallowed in fear as Deputy Chief Dodds stood in the doorway to your room.

He gave you a smile that didn’t reach his eyes, and you wondered how much he had seen. Then he strolled into the room, fixing his gaze onto his son.

“Uh, yeah, sorry dad. She got shot during our raid today—”

“Oh no,” he lamented, though it almost sounded sarcastic. “Well, it at least looks like you’re fine. Listen, Mike—” his eyes went back to his son’s— “I need to talk to you about an opportunity. If you’ll excuse us,” he said to you, then turned and strolled from the room.

Mike gave you an apologetic look before following his dad, closing the door behind them and leaving you alone.

***

“What the hell were you thinking?” William asked as he headed out of the hospital. “Getting close with a detective.” He said the word like an insult, and Mike flinched.

Once on the street, Mike replied, “she’s a fantastic detective, and I like her a lot. Why does my romantic life involve you?”

“Because we’ve worked too hard to get you to this position," he responded, poking Mike in the chest.

He rolled his eyes, fighting the urge to ask “we?” Instead, he said, “If I follow your plan, then I’m leaving SVU anyways. Why can’t I date her?”

“You need someone on your level, someone who’s as eye-catching as you are,” William explained. But Mike knew the truth; his father wanted him with a trophy wife, one who knew how to keep her head down and attend to her husband’s wants and desires. In other words, someone Mike wanted nothing to do with.

“With how good she is, she could make sergeant in no time,” Mike countered. He wasn’t just saying that, either; he believed it. You were incredible. He almost wanted you to go to Joint Terrorism with him, be his number two. But then, you couldn’t have a relationship together.

“Who cares about sergeant—”

“I’m a sergeant, dad.”

William waved his hand dismissively. “That’s just a placeholder until you’re lieutenant. Come on, Mike; do you really want someone with the same profession as you? Where you work late nights, weekends, holidays?” Translation; do you want someone who won’t be home to cook your meals or run the household?

“We’d have the same life experiences, we’d understand each other on a deeper level because of it,” he shot back.

William rolled his eyes. “Deeper level—”

“And I’m not going to stand here and defend her or myself from you. I’m sorry dad, but I don’t really care what you think about her. We haven’t even started dating or anything. But I’m going to go back upstairs and ask her out. I hope you can find it in yourself to come to terms with that,” Mike said before turning on his heel and marching back inside. William was too stunned to say anything back.

***

You collected all your items and were just about to leave the room when there was a knock on the door.

“Uh, come in?” you called, wondering if the nurse had more info outside of “it’ll heal on its own, but it’ll be sore for a while.”

But your stomach dropped when it was Mike peeking his head in, giving you a sheepish smile. “Uh, hey, sorry about that.”

“O-oh! No, it’s, um, it’s fine. Hopefully that was nothing too important,” you replied, laughing nervously.

Mike rubbed the back of his neck, letting out a mumble of, “no, no, it’s nothing…” before trailing off. Then he closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and looked at you intently. “Would you like to go get dinner with me? Tonight?”

You were stunned; true, you were both off after the raid—you to heal and pass a psych evaluation, and him while IAB investigated the shooting—but you never expected him to ask you out. “I—I would love that…but could we? Unless the Chief just transferred you, you’re still my boss.”

“He didn’t, but I don’t care. I’ll be leaving the squad soon enough as it is. Plus…I know you’re not seriously injured, but the thought of you being shot on the job…it worries me. I’d rather shoot my shot now, while we’re both still alive and well,” he finished.

You nodded slowly, your mind swirling. “Well…as long as neither of us will be fired over it…. I’d love to have dinner with you, Mike.”

You noticed how his eyes narrowed when you mentioned getting fired, and you wondered if the possibility never crossed his mind until you said it. He quickly masked his face with a smile, then held the door open for you.

“You won’t get fired; I’ll make sure of it,” he promised, and you wondered if it was a legit possibility. Either way, a date with Mike Dodds seemed like a good payoff. Plus, if you were fired, you could continue dating without the fear of 1PP.

[overthinkinglotr]

Can I just ask what...is the contest for the Boorman adaptation? I mean... This is not a normal movie script, right?

YAY OBSCURE LOTR ADAPTATIONS TALK TIME!!! (We’re talking about the context of John Boorman’s LOTR, the one where Frodo has sex with Galadriel)

OK SO

Yes, John Boorman’s screenplay is so completely baffling and incoherent that it seems like it can’t possibly be real. I really don’t know for sure if the draft that’s floating around the internet is really the Real Thing. However-- the weirdest aspects of that screenplay seem to be corroborated by other sources?

Some sources say the screenplay exists in physical form at Marquette University, but idk if that’s the version that’s online. Maybe it is!

And I’ve come across multiple sources discussing the scene where Gimli gets beaten up and buried alive to “unlock his magic ancestral memories,” the infamous poorly written Frodo/Galadriel sex scene, etc.

But again! I personally don’t know how reliable all these sources are. A lot of the old Reliable Sources discussing the screenplay have kinda just Vanished off the internet, and finding Definitive Confirmation would take some digging. That someone else can do, because I’m not good at this. :P

But I’ll throw information at you and you can decide what’s real--

Here’s what I DO know for certain is true:

In the 1970s, John Boorman approached United Artists with a pitch for a movie based on Arthurian legends (which would later become the film Excalibur.) UA turned him down, thinking Arthurian legends weren’t marketable enough.

They instead commissioned him to write a screenplay for a live-action film adaptation of Lord of the Rings.They were kinda like “Lord of the Rings, Arthurian legends....same thing, they both have a wizard and a medieval sword guy in it. But Lotr is popular right now, so well have this guy write a tolkien thing. Someone who likes arthur legends will also be good at writing lord of the rings, because they’re basically the same.”

(But like...they’re not, obviously. King Arthur legends are a bunch of folklore that doesn’t have one single ‘plot.” Writing a King Arthur film means using a few characters and some famous imagery and throwing them in a medieval setting to vibe together, creating the film’s plot by cherry-picking the Arthur stories you like most and throwing them together in a blender. But Lord of the Rings isn’t like that! It isn’t a collection of folkloric stories with no clear plot! Lord of the Rings is ultimately a single story with a single coherent plot! Someone who wants to adapt their own take on something as plotless as  folklore might really Struggle to adapt a plot-heavy book like LOTR!)

So anyway, John Boorman wrote this screenplay for them.

But John Boorman’s movie was never made.

Why was it never made?

Here’s where we get into some SUPER FUN “unreliable narrator” territory!!!!

John Boorman’s claim:

According to John Boorman in his biography, the film was never made because UA was tight on money and the special effects required were simply too expensive for the 1970s.

Boorman really did try very hard to make his screenplay good! According to Boorman, he and his writing partner Rospo Pallenberg  “covered all the walls of a room with a breakdown of all the scenes in all three volumes,” “drew a map of middle earth,” “wrote detailed analyses of all the characters,” and spent several weeks devising a structure for the film. Then they wrote the script together-- Boorman wrote one scene, Pallenberg the next.

But alas, it was too expensive to film in live-action. The technology just wasn’t there yet.

So the studio was forced to have the film made by an animator, Ralph Bakshi.

Boorman says that Tolkien wrote a letter to him saying that he approved of his screenplay (which Tolkien hadn’t read) solely because it was going to be a live-action movie. Tolkien hated animation. Boorman says that Tolkien’s death “spared him” the horrible pain of seeing his story adapted into animation. According to Boorman the problem with the Bakshi film (which he never saw) was that it was animated, and therefore inherently bad. Unlike Boorman’s script, which was an amazing work of art that would’ve been a wonderful live-action (and therefore inherently superior) movie!!! If only it was made! Boorman mentions that the working conditions on the Bakshi film were horrible (because they were) and laments that budget constraints meant the studio was forced to sell the movie to a low-down NO GOOD “ANIMATOR!” >:((((

BUT

Ralph Bakshi, obviously, tells a very different story!

Ralph Bakshi’s Claim:

According to Bakshi, John Boorman’s screenplay was so UTTERLY incoherent that it was unusable. UA gave Bakshi the rights to make a film because they had paid a million dollars for a trash script, and now they were dealing with the Sunk Cost Fallacy(tm). Bakshi was allowed to make his film because UA had wasted so much money on Boorman that they were desperate for ANYONE to use the Lord of the Rings IP in a way that wasn’t completely incoherent and could make sOME money:

“I thought, ‘Wait a minute, why don’t I go make the film?’ recalls Bakshi. “So I call up Mike Medavoy and I go to United Artists, which in those days were on the same lot as MGM. In the main building on one side of the building was MGM — which Dan Melnick ran in those days — and on the other side was Mike Medavoy at UA. I went to see Mike in his office and he says,

“Look, I’ve got this (John Boorman) script and I don’t understand it. I never read the book. We don’t want to make the picture. What do you want to do?’ I said, ‘I want to animate it. Three pictures.’

He said, ‘We don’t want the picture. What we want is our three million dollars back for the screenplay that we paid Boorman. So I’ll give you the rights, and if you can get our money back you can make the picture any way you want.’ True story.”

So it is a fun game of, which director of a failed unfinished LOTR project do you believe?

John Boorman later reused a lot of his Lord of the Rings script ideas for his film Excalibur. I haven’t seen the full thing, but the film kinda feels like proto-Game of Thrones? I feel like it adds credence to the idea that the bad screenplay was real-- a lot of the weird way Boorman writes women/gender in Excalibur is reflected in the parodically awful FrodoXGaladriel Fanfic Stuff.

Plus, I’ve seen the Andrew Davies BBC adaptation of Les Miserables! And ithat adaptation is so terrible that I can believe that the nonsense in the Boorman screenplay, like FrodoxGaladriel, can seem perfectly reasonable if you approach it from the perspective of a mediocre middle-aged male writer. :/ Anyway! But my BBC Les Mis Salt isn’t really relevant here! :D

But yeah! That’s some context I have on hand. The exciting fun story of the Lotr movie that was never made! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

[partnersatfazbear]

Fazbear Frights: What We Found Analysis

Here’s my analysis for What We Found, the third story in Gumdrop Angel. I wrote this as I read so it may be a little different than my previous analysis where I read the story first and went back.

If you’re a Michael Afton fan I highly recommend this. Also, there’s possibly some insight into William Afton, Mrs. Afton, and Henry too, so it’s worth a skim.

Pg 144 '...a place thirty-some years forgotten' Just reconfirming FNAF 3 is 30 years past *one* of the FNAF closings, presumably FNAF 2 location.

Pg 145 "The whole building was giving him [Hudson] a headache." FIX THE VENTILATION BRUH

Pg 148 '...they were able to use salvaged derelict equiptment original to the old pizzerias.' Another confirmation of something we heard from Phone Guy.

Pg 147 "How old are you?" "Twenty-three, same as you." I think this gives us Michael's age during FNAF 3.

EDIT: This kept me awake last night. Obviously this is impossible because he has to be alive for at least 10 years before 1983, BUT maybe its just reconfirming FNAF 3′s year? 2023?

Pg 149 "Hudsan's dad died and his mom married Lewis, a ridiculous balding man who wore plaid vests and smoked a pipe" Did... Did this book just seriously imply Mrs. Afton left William for Henry? Really? (Yes, there's differences; the husband is dead and the man wears plaid 'vests' but it seems very odd to include that detail. This could just have been the writer's own imagination, though.) I have seen this as a fan theory and 100% explains the jealousy aspect of William, but I can't help but kinda hate it. I think this is very important, though, and probably Scott's intention. "This horrible little man [Lewis]... would make Hudson's next ten years a living Hell" This REALLY intrigues me given the context I just went over. The text implies Lewis was fairly neglectful to our main character / Michael stand-in Hudson. Maybe I'm wrong and for some reason Mrs. Emily left and went to William? XD Haha, I'm reading too much into this page. Maybe I'll come back to this later. I figure it's more of Scott possibly including double-details (contradicting stuff with the same character that really applies to two, which has been something I heavily pointed out in previous anaylsis on this blog) Having said that, I'm going w/the former because I can't imagine Henry being abusive (neglectful yes, abusive no) and he's never been portrayed that way in official works like William has in the novels.

Pg 150 "Hudson began to screw up in class...a product of spending the night in fear that his stepfather [Lewis]... [would] beat him just for the fun of it." Ooof. Big confirm on William actually being abusive. Unless we stick with the Henry theory for Lewis (combined with Midnight Motorist Henry theory / alcoholic). "...near-daily beatings..." "his mom started taking pills to get through the day..." So, whoever Mrs. Afton is, she was definetly not paying attention. But then, most people married to serial killers either don't notice because of denial (like this) or because the killer is so manipulative / careful they can't notice.

"Barry, who had red hair and freckles..." Yo?! Is that a description of Fritz?! These friends in the story could be the other kids Michael knew's stand-in's, aka the two gravestones with names he used (Fritz and Jeremy), as shown in the checks for the games and FNAF 6. I've long figured Michael was probably friends with the victims--it makes them easier, although riskier, targets [for William]. The two friends are male, too, like Fritz and Jeremy. If you're curious about Duane's description (our stand in for Jeremy), it's "tight black shirt... muscles... black hair long enough for a glossy ponytail..." I'm not sure if this matches anything found in the novels or contradicts them, though. (The novels = TSE trilogy)

"And so it went... until the night of the fire." For context, this is before FF burns down. We're learning of Hudson's life from his close friends in childhood, his father's death, his mother remarrying, to his abusive stepfather, to his grades slipping to this line. This would be a new fire not seen/mentioned in the games...

Pg 151 "...go to Charlie's for a sundae..." Really. Really Scott. Just gonna use this name again. OK. I'm not even gonna discuss this because it's probably irrelevant. *This is confirmed on pg 158 to be an ice cream shop. No lore relevance aside the annoying name coincidences Scott loves to troll with.

"This is not... an advance into enemy territory, a fight with demons, or a descent into Hell..." Uh, what? What is Hudson talking about? XD I'm only noting it because it seems so out of place. He's probably talking about video games or something.

Another note, although I don't have a specific reference since it is mentioned off-hand many times, is that Hudson keeps referring to his "history" which is implied to have kept him from getting a well-paying job and a girl he's crushing on doesn't know this "history" which is good for him. Seems good old "Michael Stand-In" has done some jail time or something. Edit: On pg 154/155 the girl asks Hudson, "Did you do it?" Seems he may have killed his stepfather or been involved with something else just as bad. Edit 2: No, I was thinking too deep into it. This probably refers to Evan's death at Fredbear's. DUH.

Pg 156 describes an actual "prize corner" in FF! What am I even reading? IIRC this is in FNAF 3, too. So they just hand out these scary gift boxes to people that complete the attraction? (Hudson says he *would* have fun handing out the scary toys to kids when this location opens--kind of a bully thing to do, eh?)

"[Hudson] avoid[ed] glancing in any of the mirrors..." I'm only pointing this out because it could be reference to one of two things. 1) We know because of one of UCN's music tracks, William has a fear of his reflection. Michael probably shares this trait, especially since 2) after Ennard and all... and later on pg 157 it also says, "he never wanted to face: himself" Sounds like guilt, my guy.

Pg 157 "blonde hair... blue eyes..." Hudson shares an eye color with Michael. It's possible Michael had blonde hair as a child and it changed to brown (it's common, something I personally went through being technically blonde/ blue eyed myself)

"He [Hudson] knew from personal experience that toys could turn from fun...to torture ina heart-beat" Fairly self explanatory. Either Hudson's worked at a creepy location before or he doesn't like remembering Fredbear's.

*checks how much is left.* There's still 35 pages (not counting back/front) left of this... This is gonna be a lot of notes.

Pg 158 Hudson doesn't have a car. Poor Mike, probably having to walk everywhere. Especially as a corpse.

Pg 160 This page describes many physical issues Hudson has that prevents him from entering the Navy, all from the abuse of Lewis. Obvious paralell to Michael becoming an undead [because his father sent him to CBPR indirectly causing his condition]

Pg 161 "How's your granny, Hud?... ...Is she still alive?" "I don't think she can die." Does anyone in the Afton family really 'die'? XD

Pg 162 These few pages discuss Hudson's grandmother. She's described as "a seer who claimed to know the future... ...wore big men's plaid flannel shirts with baggy jeans" Um, more plaid / flannel? AGH. STAHP. Lowkey, I would totally headcanon my Aunt Jen like this, though.

Pg 163 "Hudson's mom... the way she was before Hudson's dad had died... never... particularly warm and fuzzy... but... effiencient and responsible..." More about Mrs. Afton, so that's kinda neat.

"Hudson's dad was fun and attentive." There's a good Dad in this series?

"Unfortunetly, he also struggled with mental illness." "invisible low points" (Pg 164) Kinda reminds me of how Henry is described after Charlotte's death in the books.

Pg 164 "When Steven got himself into a bad deal that cost him his small business... he'd taken his life." Oh, it is Henry! SMH. Way to use confusing paralells. So, from our understanding thus far, Hudson's real father, Steven, is our Henry stand-in. His step-father despite being described similar to Henry, is actually our William stand-in. Fair game, Scott.

Pg 164 "...he [Hudson] was locked into a supply closet..." Oh shit, you guys. So, let me go on a tangent here, because this IS important! I just watched a retrospective on Sister Location and FNAF 6 earlier and one theory for Midnight Motorist was the person in the chair was the mother and the kid was Michael. I think this little line may confirm that. In fact, the story may be the key to figuring things out. Obviously, the line is a paralell to FNAF 4's scene in which Crying Child was locked in the supply closet of Fredbear's. I know some people, including Matpat, believe[d] CC was Michael, and in this book's context, it sort of works. This does contradict Step Closer and 1000 other things that make Michael the older brother, but maybe it's hinting at MM? Abusive stepdad (possibly Henry... maybe William is gone at this point), checked out Mom (hey, grey couch lady with Foxybro's font). IDK, but its definetly something to think about.

Pg 165 Lewis is mentioned as calling Hudson "nothing" and saying "you're nothing" on several occasions on this page. Just more abuse, for those accurate fanfic writers like me. Also I kinda wanna watch Morel Orel again. Yall know my fav character is Clay. Yall know.

"You're smoke." <-- Lewis / The text later reads, "...there was some irony, given what eventually happened." BRUH. Why did your stepdad die in a fire? :V TELL ME.

"When his family's house burned down at the end of his senior year..." Huh. Is there a fire we don't know about in the game-verse? Could this explain what happened to the FNAF 4 house before MM house?!

"...it purged Hudson of Lewis and his mother." MRS. AFTON BURNED ALIVE, TOO? Bruh. I can't with this story.

The text later describes the fire is concluded to be man-made and Hudson was blamed for it. Can't say if this ties to Michael, but it IS interesting... TBF, there is a small paralell to draw between Henry in FNAF 6 and his history of suicide in the books, too.

Pg 166 "...this place's [FF] busted thermostat.." I just find this line funny.

Pg 167 "...after three weeks of keeping an eye on the place" Some more timeline context for FNAF 3. We know that Michael worked there a little while before we start playing the game thanks to one of the phone calls, IIRC, so this makes sense. If Michael was accused of [something] and also wanting to hunt down his father, then it makes perfect sense why he's working a dead end job at Freddy's over and over and over. Fun fun fun.

Pg 169 "He hated to think about a functional character [Foxy]" This line is in regards to Hudson not liking the set up of Pirate's Cove and Foxy's hook to scare people. Sounds familiar, don't it? (For Michael anyway.)

Pg 173 "Some big find is arriving tomorrow." SPRINGY BOI! COME ON BOOK, get on with the show?

Pg 176 "Granny was wearing a red-and-green plaid shirt and her baggy jeans." Nothing special, but it was specifically brought up twice. I'm kind of racking my brain trying to understand what the point of this character is outside of "woooo everything is haunted don't you know that" kind of character.

Pg 180 "...dropped the crate on the linoleum with a resounding thud." HEY. Poor Springtrap, just gettin' tossed around like the trash he is.

Pg 186 "If you weren't so stupid, I'd tell you more about it." Springtrap bringing the burn. =:)

"A voice with a burr-like rasp...hint of a Southern accent" I'm going to assume this is because it's Lewis probably in the suit in this story and not our old British lad.

"It's was Mr. Atkin's voice." THE MATH TEACHER? *goes back to check* 'The algebra teacher'. Okay...

Pg 190 Okay, so Hudson hear's Lewis' voice this time. Okay, I get it now. Springtrap in this kind of imbodies all of Hudson's old bullies, including the teacher. He also has PTSD, just FYI. IDK if anyone finds that important, but it's fairly obvious by the line "He wasn't in his bedroom. Lewis didn't just slam his head into a desk; his head had been slammed into the [arcade] game."

"Why did he hallucinate a scene from his childhood?" Oh, it's not PTSD, then. It's just the VENTILATION ERROR. lol Okay.

Just a note, as I'm reading through the more action-based stuff, I kind of feel bad for Michael if he had flashbacks like this guy. They're intense.

So, Lewis' voice finally comes out of Springtrap on Pg 213. There's that.

Pg 220 "You can just stay there [in his room]" Kind of a paralell to Midnight Motorist. Lewis is saying it to Hudson. I really feel like the kid in the MM game is Michael because of this story...

Pg 223 "Heat purges. Fire heals." I'm sure that's Henry's life motto.

The ending was stupid, but most in these stories are. Hudson is hallucinating and is implied to have burned himself alive in FF's oven. Meh? The first half of this one is A TRIP and a little insight into what I 100% believe is Michael's childhood. I think the saddest part of it all is that we never got Springtrap speaking to Michael in FNAF 3--and if it's ever remade I hope we get more of them interacting.

[bilbao-song]

heres an ask because i too am desperate to engage with people. i know u dont care about roxy music but you did say you would accept something as incoherent as a keysmash so here is an equivalent: admittedly i find the dynamics between ANY band and their fans very interesting, but roxy music in particular. there is a peculiar divide between those who are staunch bryan ferry fans (these people typically dont give half of a shit about anyone else in the band), those who are fans of the group as a whole and dont particularly care about individual members at all, and those who are most interested in phil manzanera and andy mackay and sometimes the other guys, who generally quite dislike bryan (i being the latter)- and often there is resentment between the groups. i think its so interesting that a group of people can be presented with the same exact material, love it and enjoy it for years, and yet latch onto different parts of it and make it such a part of their identity that should you confuse one with the other they become insulted, or if nothing else will tell you "no no, i like roxy music but i REALLY like bryan, i think hes the best", or "no no, i love roxy music and im a fan of andy and phil in particular but i dont care for byran much at all, dont get it twisted", etc. are there bands you're more familiar with who have this sort of divide amongst the fanbase? do tell me about them, if you like :>

first of all i absolutely love that u sent this ksdhgkshg this is like. exactly the kind of thing i wanted

sorry for taking 39485949 years to post this lmao. i wrote like FIVE entire paragraphs and then had to edit it but it was getting super late and anyway it’s still absurdly long (as in, i can say whatever i want in the below text bc no one is going to want to read it) and definitely devolved into a huge general rant about the annoying and creepy behaviors of some people within band fanbases (specifically ELO-related bc of course) as well as vagueing about my own controversial opinions but......nonetheless.

anyway!!! i find this kind of thing really interesting too!! and i know EXACTLY what you’re talking about. there are just sooo many facets to this, and i guess it’s different for every band. on the one hand i do think it’s kind of an interesting phenomenon bc if you think about it, they’re basically enjoying the same thing but taking wildly different/opposing stances on it. as a whole i would find it a lot more interesting/amusing and less frustrating if people could like...manage these kinds of differences without turning it into some kind of overly vitriolic/super hostile opposition that you would think is about politics or something and not a band we r supposed to be listening to for entertainment purposes. i mean, i 100% get that things don’t have to be Extremely Important to be worth discussing, but it just seems wild the way some people get SO intensely angry about these things, sometimes to the point of being kind of inappropriate. i have a lot of issues with the way some people within band fanbases tend to behave lol

.......anyway the Full Rant is below here (idk why i wrote this bc it’s long enough to be turned in for a grade and it’s only partially relevant. read at ur own risk):

so!! thankfully with most bands i enjoy i just kind of watch the fanbase from the sidelines and don't get too involved in or even aware of all the drama. like...i know about the band and enjoy the music but just manage to not get involved in whatever the community happens to be collectively freaking out about at any given moment. i feel like the kind of divide you mentioned is actually pretty common within band fanbases (i think there are things like this with like...styx and three dog night? among others? but i don't know all the details 👀) but like, FORTUNATELY with most of them i just would not know. that's very nice because i unfortunately do not always have that kind of luxury with the ELO fanbase...idk i have a lot of very strong ELO-related opinions that i usually don't like to discuss in great detail bc i get disproportionately frustrated but yeah basically what you described does kind of happen among ELO fans, although thankfully i'd say it's to a somewhat lesser extent? people are commonly at each other's throats about a variety of topics including (but not limited to) who they support or don't support, but there are still plenty of people who (thankfully) are not so aggressive lmao. there is sort of a divide within the fanbase but i feel like it's probably not so 50/50 as what you're talking about...maybe more like 85/15

THAT SAID, i have frequently commented on the fact that the ELO fanbase is largely a dumpster fire and there is a whole entire sector of the fanbase that is comprised of people who i absolutely cannot stand, and most of them do fight a lot lmao. this is only partially related to the subject at hand, but a good portion of the bickering is relevant to The Divide. like, i'm 100% okay with having a different opinion than someone else as long as they aren't acting like a complete freak about it, but idk, aside from the fact that most of these people are like?? needlessly aggressive?? there are certain opinions held by certain members of the Greater ELO Community that just give me that vibe of like...hmmmm this is a person i probably would not want to associate with at all, even in matters completely unrelated to this. Unsavory Person Vibes. i mean like, “opinions” that just boil down to "i am very very entitled and also incapable of seeing anyone else's perspective on literally anything ever BUT that isn't going to stop me from openly whining about this absolutely whenever possible." like!! it's one thing to have some kind of legitimate, reasonable criticism of an individual or band but some, if not most, of the things i've seen people losing their minds over within this fanbase have been so hilariously trivial that i just CANNOT understand how these people actually managed to get to be (presumably) functional adults who are probably like 50+ years old. i mean like, full-blown tantrums and calling someone all sorts of nasty things over something that shouldn't even be an issue because without exaggerating i cannot fathom how anyone could even be majorly upset about it in the first place. to give an example: someone once had a whole entire little strongly-worded, excessively presumptuous freakout because a guitar was no longer on loan to the rock and roll hall of fame. like...it was there for quite awhile and two out of four inductees loaned absolutely nothing but you're whining because one who DID loan something eventually took it back? do we not know what the word "loan" means? anyway the best part is that basically every time something like this happens, if someone tries to point out that the person is overreacting or perhaps just needs to look at a situation another way, they will then go off on that person bc god forbid we try to be level-headed about things. everything has to be Very Horrible All The Time or we’re doing something wrong or being stupid or something. idk i'm convinced that some people just want to be angry

also just...some of these people do some really shady things that i personally feel are morally questionable but there's nothing i can do about it so i try to just kind of avoid dwelling on it lmfao. like, it's not okay to violate people's privacy just because they're famous and you're overly entitled/nosy/desperate for clout/blatantly trying to profit off of them? i know in the Sane World that's a completely non-controversial idea but band fanbases apparently often aren't based on sanity skhglkshgks idk i could probably write a small novel on this and make a specific list of all the things they do that are just like...bafflingly tone deaf and kind of appalling but i digress. idk the worst part to me is the way they'll be like, saying/doing something that's just awful or like, maybe even totally factually wrong while acting like they're in the right. absolutely wild

to at least somewhat bring this back to what we were ATTEMPTING to talk about!!! personally i've reached a point where i pretty much no longer care about like 90% of anyone who has ever been in ELO (jeffrey/richard/roy/mike de albuquerque supremacy) but i'm not like, actively a Hater of the others lmao. i appreciate that they were there and enjoy the nostalgia(? i wasn’t alive) of it and i’m glad they’re out there existing but i just...don’t really care about anything they do at this point?? a good portion of it is a result of me taking issue with certain things some of them have done, which has impacted the way i feel about them, but MOST of it is really not that deep and it’s just that some of them just don't particularly interest me on that kind of level/i don't feel the need to get that invested in like 927509257 different people (fun fact: during the 1970s every third person in existence on earth was, at least briefly, a member of ELO). there's really only one ELO-adjacent person who i actually very strongly dislike and a) luckily i feel like they barely even count as a member b) the reasoning is kind of its own Thing and has very very very little to do with anything related to the band so it's kind of another subject entirely. anyway that’s as close as i’ll ever get to actually getting involved with any of the Drama sgsdgsdgfhdh. my primary beef is with the fanbase anyway because, as previously mentioned, there are too many insane people. i guess what i’m getting at here is that yeah there’s a divide and it does affect me BUT i also don’t really get why people allow this to make them act in a way that goes beyond just having a difference in opinion and is so overly hostile towards each other as well as the people they’re discussing. like...if anyone involved is a serial killer or something even remotely similar then yeah, being outraged on an extreme level and absolutely hating them even as an outsider makes sense. otherwise? calm down!!!!!

anyway. to wrap up this mostly incoherent rant that i hope no one read: i have always suspected that band fandoms kind of attract certain kinds of very distressingly weird people and i just think it's funny how there's always like, a little cluster of people within the fanbase who basically seem like they actually hate the band (those are almost always the Weird Ones bc i can’t tell you how many times i’ve witnessed a person who is like, into a band to a CREEPY extent and then one day they just flip and become a hater). at that point i'm just like, okay? so why are you still here lmfao. i guess that's the Main Idea of all of this lol. i just don't get why these people stick around when 98% of all they ever do is complain and act overly judgy? i just feel like if my so-called favorite band was making me that miserable i would try to find another band to like instead of becoming a menace to society. that’s just me tho

to bring all of this together i guess i just assume that some kind of phenomenon like this occurs within basically every band fanbase. idk it just seems pretty universal for some reason. certain kinds of people just love drama i guess and will turn any difference of opinion into some kind of shitshow

tl;dr: yes

[purplesurveys]

1111

Something a little bit random and silly for my 1111th, just because.

survey by joybucket

List three things you love that start with each letter.

A: Art and most forms of it; anchovies, in most cases; and Angela.

B: Burgers, Beyoncé, and buffets.

E: Escargot, the name Eloise, and elephants.

F: FISH, Friends, and some folk indie.

S: Sleeping, signing off work at the end of my shift, and all kinds of seafood.

T: I’m obsessed with tteokbokki; trying out new food; and table tennis.

Q: I like the quiet time I occasionally give myself; quail eggs, especially in the form of kwek-kwek; and quattro formaggi pizza.

R: Rainbows, the rain, and riding planes.

O: Old movies, the ocean, and Okinawa milk tea.

List a phrase including an adjective, noun, and verb for each letter. Examples: "angry artist anticipating", "rude rascals running", "dirty dogs dancing", or "empty elephants eloping." Have fun!

A: Adorable animals appearing.

F: Fabulous fingers frolicking.

C; Chummy classmates cooking.

S: Suspicious self salivating.

R: Rambunctious raccoon running.

T: Tired turnip tumbling.

Q; Questioning quail quipping.

J: Joyful joggers jamming.

I: Inquisitive igloos imagining.

L: Luxurious lemonade luminescing.

Z: Zesty zebras zoning out.

E: Ethereal eagles embracing.

List three different occupations starting with each letter.

O: Orthodontist, oceanographer, opthalmologist.

E: Engineer, equestrienne, elementary school teacher.

F: Firefighter, flight attendant, farmer.

S: Scientist, singer, seamstress.

T: Talent agent, tricycle driver, tennis player.

I: Illustrator, inspector, IT technician.

E: Economist, editor, electrician.

L: Lawyer, librarian, lifeguard.

A: Accountant, actor, architect.

Y: Yoga instructor, youth pastor, yogurt maker?? if that counts, lol. Otherwise I got nothing else.

List three adjectives that begin with each letter.

A: Affable, abrupt, adequate.

B: Broken, blunt, bleary.

C: Crazy, clear, clingy.

D: Daunting, delirious, dark.

E: Existential, enraged, exemplary.

F: Fantastic, far-flung, flavorful.

G: Ghastly, gentle, gigantic.

H: Harrowing, healthy, hopeful.

I: Intelligent, identical, impervious.

J: Jovial, jaded, joyous.

List three nouns that being with each letter.

K: Kangaroo, keychain, kiwi.

L: Lemonade the album, lemon the fruit, and Liz Lemon.

M: Mall, maple syrup, and mop.

N: Nightingale, nest, napkin.

O: Ogre, olive, orange.

P: Piano, panini, and pizza.

Q: Queen, quill, quilt.

List three verbs that begin with each letter.

R: Running, raking, reliving.

S: Singing, sailing, surfing.

T: Tricking, tossing, teeming.

U: Understanding, urging, unwrapping.

V: Villifying, venerating, vaccinating - get vaccinated, folks.

W: Wandering, washing, wriggling.

X: I don’t know if there are any and I can’t bother to look it up.

Y: Yawning, yelling, yearning.

Z: Zipping, ziplining, zapping.

List three...

girl's names you love: Olivia, Mia, Emma.

boy’s names you love: Mason, Jacob, Lucas.

girl’s names you dislike: Karen, and our local versions of Karen, Marites and Marivic.

boy’s names you dislike: Chad, times three.

things you hate about summer things you hate about winter things you hate about spring things you hate about fall things you love about spring things you love about winter things you love about fall things you love about summer Crossing these out because my Southeast Asian ass can’t relate, but if you do decide to take this survey feel free to un-strikethrough them!

things you miss from your past: Having more freedom to make mistakes; not having to worry about the future; and friends I’ve since lost.

people who have really hurt you in the past: Gabie, my mom, Marielle.

names of people you have had crushes on: Gabie, Andi from 5th grade...and that’s it, really.

names of people you have gone on a date with: Only Gabie. And I guess maybe Mike? Since he asked me to go with him to his ball as his date.

places you've been and would love to go again: Sagada, Jeju, Bali.

places you want to visit before you die: Morocco, Spain, Thailand.

items on your bucket list: See Times Square, live in a condo, plan a solo trip.

health conditions you have: Scoliosis, lactose intolerance, and very possible depression.

health conditions you've had in the past but don't anymore: Dehydration, UTI, and some kind of weird low-platelet-count thing that was just that, and never diagnosed as anything.

things you are allergic to: Possibly some types of grass, and maybe face masks. Idk how to confirm it really; I just know my skin gets irritated around them sometimes.

youtube channels you love to watch: Good Mythical Morning; the KBS YouTube channel mainly for clips of Return of Superman and 2 Days 1 Night; and Binging With Babish.

favorite drinks: Water, coffee, Long Island Iced Tea.

favorite foods: Sushi, chicken wings, pizza.

favorite desserts: Cheesecake, MACARONS, cupcakes.

favorite holidays: The only one I care for and get super excited about is my birthday, if that counts. Christmas is fine, but I only get the excitement for it on the actual day itself.

favorite colors: Pastel pink, white, maroon.

people you would like to meet: Ysa and Bea, my teammates at work. I’ve met them only once before, and I wish we can be allowed to report to the workplace physically soon so that I get to see them more often and strengthen my relationship (both working and personal) with them. I’d also love to be able to chat and chill with Hayley Williams even for just 30 seconds.

people you want to meet in Heaven: I don’t believe in that, but I’d love to have met my great-grandfather on my maternal grandfather’s side. Also, Audrey Hepburn and Princess Diana.

good names for a dog or cat: Depends on their personality.

reasons why you get up each morning and keep on living: Because I’ve been able to see myself get better, and why stop all the progress?; because I’d want to be able see if the future will get better; and because I’m afraid of what will happen to/who will look out for my dogs if I’m suddenly gone.

For each name, think of three people you know with that name, and list their occupations.

Amanda: I only know one Amanda, and she’s a friend of my ex’s younger sister. She’s only in senior year of high school. I know an Amandine which is close enough I suppose?? and she’s a dentistry student.

Sarah: She’s a media contact and I’m constantly in touch with; she’s the editor-in-chief of a local magazine. I think she’s the only Sarah I know.

Ashley: Also a media contact. I’m not sure about her title, though.

Beth: @bionic-beth is a teacher! :) But I don’t know any Beths in real life, I think.

Katie: Well I know Kate, and I’ll sometimes playfully call her Katie. She works in a government agency and she’s one of their PR people. The HR person who recruited me to come work at my current employer is a Kate, but I have never and have no plans to call her Katie.

Matt: That’s too foreign-sounding a name where I live.

Emily: Don’t know any Emilys, either.

Chris: Media contacts. They run blogs or news sites of their own.

Mike/Michael: The one Mike I know is currently a med student. Not sure if he’s working on the side - I think he is, since I saw him post about a job update on his Facebook a few months ago; but I can no longer remember what he does, or if he’s still doing it.

Jessica: I went to high school with a girl named Jessica but I don’t follow her on social media, so I have no clue what she’s up to now.

Becca/Bekah: Rita’s sister is a Becca. I think she is currently a grad student.

For each name, think of three people you know, and list one adjective to describe each person. (Skip if you don't know anyone with that name.)

Laura

Michelle: Hilarious.

Victoria: Strong.

Tessa: Friendly.

John

Claire: Influential; motherly.

Briana/Brianna: Bitch.

Vanessa

Brittany/Britney, etc.

Allison/Allie/Ally, etc: Kind. 

Olivia

Jordan

Jo/Joe: Ambitious; pretty.

Corey/Kori

Sophie: Sweet; quiet.

Mitch/Mitchell: Tall.

Madison/Maddie/Maddi

Out of all the people you know or have met, list three...

redheads: Yeah, you’re not going to find them in most of Asia. West Asia and some parts of East Asia, probably, but definitely not for the rest.

tall people: Jo, Chesca, and Shaun.

people with really curly hair: I know Kleo has naturally curly hair from her Aeta roots, but it’s been straightened for a very long time now. I think Chesca also has curly hair, albeit slightly. There is also Liana.

sets of twins: My sister had two sets of twins in her high school batch, but I can no longer remember their names. I also had an English class with a pair of twins named Ardy and Thirdy.

of the cutest babies you've seen on social media: My workmate’s baby. My friend Jar has a super squishy niece/nephew pair of twins as well.

people you miss: Angela, Kate, my grandpa.

people with beautiful eyes: I can only think of my ex.

people with nice hair: God I have not been around people for so long, I can barely think of anyone for this.

people who are the same height as you: Aya, Hannah, Tina.

own one of the same clothing items as you: Angela since we went to the same high school and have several of the same school shirts; Laurice since we share a college org and we have our own trademark polo shirt; and my brother and I have our own pairs of Nike Cortez shoes.

make you laugh: Andi, Hans, and this girl I had a couple of history classes with, Rose.

List three celebrities who...

are the same height as you: Lady Gaga and AJ Lee are the only ones who are coming to mind. I wouldn’t call AJ a celebrity though.

have the same hair color as you: Mila Kunis, Kelly Rowland, Dita Von Teese.

look like you: Only based on comments I’ve gotten in the past and not because I necessarily claim these for myself, Lucy Hale, Anna Akana, and Kakie.

List three....

adjectives to describe you: Timid, stubborn, sensitive.

academic courses you enjoyed: Philippine social history, international relations, anthropology.

words you always forget how to spell: Rhythm, committee, accommodate.

things you wish you were better at: Singing, dancing, drawing.

things you are really good at: Writing, reading people, and knowing the best things to order at most restaurants hahahah.

jobs you'd like to have: Ideally, a lawyer or doctor. But realistically, I’d love to have a leadership position in the PR sphere.

jobs you've considered having: ^ Again, lawyer and doctor. Also a journalist or news anchor, back when I still thought I was passionate about journalism.

jobs you'd hate: Journalist, an LTO clerk, an assistant to an asshole celebrity.

things you miss: Being a student, many parts of the past, and deceased family members.

names your mom considered when naming you: Ariel, Kathleen, Katrina.

things people call you: Robyn, Byn, Bynbyn.

*Bonus*: what is your name? (first and middle)? I always feel like just sharing Robyn.

[icannott]

Service (Richie x Sister!Reader)

Requested: yep!! by anon “hey! idk if you're still taking requests, if not that's okay but if you are i was wondering if you could write something where richie has an older sister who just came home on a leave from the military for the first time in a while and surprises him n the only other person who knew he had an older sister was eddie ?? n maybe she scares off the bowers gang? idk i just love richie so much he is babie n deserves happiness :( all of them do + absolutely love your writing!! you're amazing :)”

Pairing: Richie x Sister!Reader

Warning: swearing (two toziers, what do you expect)

a/n: i,,,, love this request just bc im a jrotc nerd (also sorry i didnt do the bowers gang part i,,,,,,,,,, forgot)

gif cred belongs to @beverlymarshisabadass​

The losers were in town one day after school, but Richie was nowhere to be seen. Right after school, he had spewed some lame excuse about feeding his fish and sprinted home.

“I refuse to believe he has a fish,” Eddie said, shaking his head. “If he ever had one, it’s dead by now.”

“Maybe his parents needed him home,” Mike shrugged.

“Oh Mike,” Bev sighed, slinging an arm around his broad shoulders. “You are yet to be graced by the presence of the Tozier adults, but it’s something I hope you never have to experience, my sweet baby boy.”

They laughed as Mike pushed Bev off of him and chuckled.

“Not all the Tozier adults are bad,” Eddie shrugged and they all snapped their gazes to him. He froze up. “I mean [name]’s not bad at all.”

“Who?” Stan piped up, arching a brow.

“[name],” Eddie repeated, as if they knew what it meant. “You know, his older sister.”

“Richie has a sister?!?”

They all bombarded Eddie with questions, making him fumble for his inhaler. After a few moments, he locked his gaze on something behind him and pointed furiously.

“Look!” 

And there, walking through town was the trashmouth himself, with a girl dressed up in military camouflage walking next to him. She had a grin on her face as she walked with an air of pride. That was so achingly familiar to them that it hurt.

“No w-way,” Bill whispered as they watched them walk around, Richie talking her ear off as she grinned.

Ben was shaking his head, “How-”

“Richie!” Bev called out above him, waving her arm at him. His head snapped up and hers followed. His cheeks flushed at being caught, but she smiled. She nodded her head over to them and said something to her brother that they couldn’t hear. But when she started walking over, he followed. They started walking, too.

“Well, well, well,” Mike sighed. Richie avoided his gaze. “Would you look at that.”

Richie sighed sheepishly. “Guys, this is my sister [name]. [name], this is Stan,” he motioned to the curly-haired boy ogling at her uniform, “Bev,” he pointed to the grinning girl, “Ben,” he pointed to the boy who waved shyly back, “Bill,” the boy gave a quick smile before he examined her rank on her sleeves, “Mike,” the boy nodded respectfully at her, “and you’ve met Eddie before.” The final boy took another puff of his inhaler.

“Well it’s... reassuring to meet you all,” she nodded. “I was worried he’d never make friends.” They laughed. “And my rank’s Senior Airman, by the way,” she winked at Bill. He blushed.

“How come we-we’ve never m-m-met you b-before?” Bill stuttered out.

She shrugged. “Bad timing. I’m...” She sucked in a breath and looked up, thinking. “How old are you guys now?”

“We’re sophomores,” Stan said.

“Goddamn, that’s illegal,” she whispered. They laughed as she nodded, “I’m thirteen years older than you all. Which is strange to think about.”

“Dang,” Bev whispered.

“I know,” she nodded, chuckling. “I’m getting old. And I’m sure Rich was too embarrassed of his Chair Force sister to say anything to you all.” Richie rolled his eyes as they laughed.

“Can we get going now?” he asked impatiently.

“You guys wanna come get ice cream with us?” she offered cheerfully. They voiced their agreement and she grinned. “Fantastic. Let’s go.”

They all ordered and sat and bombarded her with questions.

“You said you were Air Force?” Stan asked.

“Yep!” she grinned proudly. “A proud safety officer in the Chair Force. I give regular checks and updates to all of our planes to make sure they’re safe for flight.”

“That’s ironic,” Eddie muttered.

“How so?” she laughed.

“Richie is the most unsafe person I know,” he grumbled.

She nodded in understanding. “Oh trust me, me too. But we’ll get to the embarrassing kid stories later.” They grinned and Richie’s face flushed again.

“How long have you been in for?” Mike asked.

“Ten years,” she smiled. “Ten proud years. I was only required to do four, and then they almost discharged me-”

“What? Why?” Ben asked curiously.

She sighed. “You see, I was on front lines before. Stationed in Vietnam, as everyone has been.” She stared down at the table as she started, “I was in the middle of an air fight-”

“Not this again,” Richie groaned, sinking in his seat. She grinned.

“You love this story, don’t lie,” she said, shaking her head. They laughed. “I was in the middle of an air fight, and my gun got stuck. While I was trying to fix it, I took a round of bullets to the shoulder.” They cringed. “Yep. Tore my rotator cuff, shattered a part of my collar bone, all that good stuff. The military payed all the medical expenses and surgeries and for the prosthetic.” She took off her coat, revealing her white undershirt as she said, “They tried to give me an honorable discharge for medical reasons, but I fought it. Hard. I was only on the fourth year of service, and I didn’t wanna stop there. So they gave me a job in reserves as a recruiter. Technically, that’s still my job. I could settle down anywhere I wanted and join an office and anyone could come to me to join the life in service. But I went in originally as an engineer turned pilot, so they let me work safety. And that’s my life story.” Then, as they ogled at her story, she revealed a metal band connecting her arm to her body and popped it off. She held up her prosthetic and grinned.

“They also let me keep this, so I guess that’s cool, too.”

The waitress ignored the prosthetic being waved around and dropped off their order. [name] went to pay, and the losers turned to Richie with grins.

“Your sister is so cool!” Mike exclaimed.

“So badass,” Bev said, shaking her head.

As they kept the compliments rolling, he grinned in pride.

“Yeah. I guess she’s pretty cool.”

xtra-

“Now, let’s get to these embarrassing kid stories...”

[s-oulpunk]

Alright I don’t have the time or brain capacity to write out an entire fic, but I’ve been thinking about Disney channel movie AUs and I need to write them out somehow.

First of all, Descendants.  A Descendants AU is NEEDED.

I know the obvious is to make Bill the prince/king.  To make Richie one of the Isle of the Lost kids.  But is that what we’re gonna do?  No.  Here’s what we’re gonna do instead:

Stan is the prince/king, and Richie is his best friend/right hand man.  Ben and Mike are also their friends, maybe Ben is the son of that one Dwarf (I can’t remember the character’s name sorryy).

Bill, Eddie, and Bev are the kids from Isle of the Lost.  It doesn’t particularly matter who their parents are, but Bill is the Mal character, Bev is Evie, and Eddie is a mix of Carlos and Jay.  Not literally bc they have different personalities, but, like, their places in the story.  Alright.  Hell yeah.  Now onto the actual story.

Stan spends a lot of time thinking about what he wants his first proclamation as king to be.  He talks to Richie, Ben, and Mike about his idea and, with a little bit of a push, he tells his parents he wants to invite some of the kids from Isle of the Lost to go to their school. (Which btw confused me abt the original movie.  Why is Ben king? He’s still in school. His dad isn’t sick. Who decided it was time for a 16 year old to be in charge of an entire kingdom?  Also where is the rest of the kingdom?  We only see the school.  Is the school the entire kingdom?  It doesn’t matter but those are my thoughts on the matter.)

Bill gets the invitation and, initially, wants to throw it away.  He doesn’t care, he likes his home.  It’s what he’s always known.  But Georgie practically begs him to go.  He’s more wide-eyed and naive than Bill is, so the idea of the great big world outside the island is so magical to Georgie.  Bill agrees to go, agreeing to write to Georgie everyday and promising to try and find a way to get him over too.

I don’t think either of Bill’s parents would care much about Fairy God Mother’s wand though, so either Eddie’s mom or Bev’s dad is the one to demand they steal it.  Eddie already has a different plot, so we’re going to say it’s Bev’s dad who wants the wand.  Sonia is lazy.  Alvin is power hungry.

Anyway, when they get there, Stan is there to greet them.  Bill and Stan see each other and are kinda like 👀 but then they just ignore that because feelings?? Who wants to think about that??  Stan’s still kind of wary of them, and Bill still thinks they’re all stuck up pricks.  So neither of them want to admit the other is cute.

Ben takes them to their rooms, and him and Bev are much more relaxed about realizing their feelings for each other.  They don’t act on it right away, but it doesn’t freak them out as much.  Bev makes Ben blush with her easy going nature, Ben makes Bev giddy with his natural kindness.  They can’t help but fall head over heels for each other.

But it’s Eddie who really lectures them on this.  His mom had instilled this fear inside him that these new people were going to hurt him. He desperately believes that a relationship with any of these people, that getting too settled, is going to hurt them. All he wants to do is help his friends get the wand and get out.

That is until he meets Richie.  They’re in PE when Mike’s dog manages to get away from his leash and, of course, chases after the one person TERRIFIED of dogs (AKA Eddie).  And Eddie, whose mother filled his head with stories about rabies and being torn limb from limb, fucking bolts.  Mike and Richie (who was in class with him) both try to find him.  Richie manages to find him first, hiding half up a tree as Mr Chips (that’s Mike’s dog’s name, right?) barks like a madman.  Richie manages to coax him down with the promise that Mr Chips won’t actually hurt him.  He does sniff him, but he quickly decides he’s not a threat and demands pets instead.  From then on, Richie and Eddie are inseparable.

Bev and Eddie are both making friends, so they’re starting to care less and less about stealing Fairy God Mother’s wand.  But Bill’s only worry is still finding a way to get Georgie off the island.  And as far as he knows, getting the wand will achieve that.  So he manages to convince Bev and Eddie to still go along with the plan, promising that if the villains do take over again, Ben and Richie won’t be in the line of fire.

Unfortunately, the only way they know to get the wand is to seduce Stan (because the wand will crown him king or something during coronation.  I forget why the wand is there.  But it is.  And if someone’s dating Stan, they get to stand right next to the wand.  Idk man.) Bev and Eddie beg Bill to do it, not wanting to risk their new romantic interests, and Bill pretends to throw a fit but he’s actually really glad it’s him.  He would definitely be low-key jealous if one of his friends got to date the unfairly pretty prince.

So they sneak Stan a love potion and everything’s going great except UH OH Stan’s actually really sweet?? And cute??  And he cares about what Bill has to say??  He spends hours reading Bill’s stories, doesn’t mind posing whenever Bill wants to sketch him (which is OBVIOUSLY just for show, he doesn’t actually wanna draw Stan hahaha😳), and never makes fun of Bill’s stutter.  He never even rolls his eyes or tells him to, “spit it out,” he just waits patiently with a soft smile on his face and a sparkle in his eyes.

So Bill’s starting to feel more and more guilty, but he can’t look back now.  He PROMISED Georgie, and his brother’s more important than a cute boy.  Even if he is the cutest boy he has ever seen.

The day of the coronation, Bill slips Stan the cure to the love potion.  He isn’t truly cruel, he doesn’t want Stan to still be in love with him when the villains take over.  Because he is the prince and there’s no way Bill could protect him from their wrath.  He can deal with Stan hating him, even if it’ll shatter his heart into a million tiny pieces.

Except Stan doesn’t act any different.  At first Bill thinks that maybe it’s just because he doesn’t want to cause a scene in front of the crowd, but when they’re alone Stan kisses him softly and tells him how glad he is they met.

A part of Bill is ecstatic that Stan still likes him.  But another part of him can only feel crushing guilt.  Now Stan’s going to be heartbroken and there’s nothing Bill can do to stop it.

But he still grabs the wand, he still makes a show of breaking down the barrier.  He can see the light in Stan’s eyes crumble, and Bill wants to cry his, admittedly, too big heart out.  Bev and Eddie rush to help him, even though they’re facing their own moral dilemmas.

It’s not until the villains have already arrived and have everyone held hostage, that Stan finally breaks and asks WHY.  Why did he do it?  Why did he betray him?  When Bill tells him why, Stan’s just like, “You idiot, I could’ve done that.”

Now Bill feels like a real idiot.  And when he looks around, all he can see is the anger and fear he saw on the Isle of the Lost.  It’s exactly what he was trying to get Georgie away from, but now he’s made it worse.

So in a split second decision, he gathers Eddie and Bev and asks them to help him fix this.  It doesn’t take much convincing, they didn’t want to do it in the first place, and they manage to defeat the villains with the power of idk love and friendship or whatever.  Maybe the other Losers help too.

When it’s finally all done and over, Bill can’t think of any reason he wouldn’t be sent back.  He hands the wand back to Stan with his head hung low and a question on his lips.  Can Georgie take his place here?

Stan sighs heavily and tells Bill, yes, of course Georgie can come, but he needs time to think about what to do with Bill.  So Bill’s on house (or dorm, I guess) arrest for the next few days.  He hangs out with Eddie and Bev, and occasionally Ben, Richie, and Mike, but he doesn’t see Stan for nearly a week.  When he finally does, Stan greets him hesitantly, but reassures him that he’s not going to send him back.  Bill needs to do community service or whatever, but because he righted his wrongs, he can stay.

Bill’s fucking ecstatic, he leaps forward and wraps Stan in a hug.  Stan goes rigid at first, but it isn’t long before he melts into the embrace because he can’t deny that he had missed Bill as well.

It takes some time, but eventually Stan and Bill get back together (Georgie tries to help Bill woo Stan again) and they all live happily ever after and all that.

[willbyersneedstherapy]

So, a return ask about your name! Do you have a special interest in psychology/therapy, or therapy as a way to think about ST characters? And then more specifically: what would ST characters go to therapy thinking to talk about, and what would they surprisingly end up talking about? :)

thanks for asking! i chose my name because i feel that people often ignore the trauma that characters in horror/fantasy books, movies, and shows go through and make fun of them for being scared. i was gonna be yourfaveneedstherapy, but that was taken. ive seen a bunch of posts saying that will is a baby and needs to toughen up because “its not that bad” (lonnie is that you?). people are sort of numbed to trauma in media and forget how terrifying some of these things would be! (i also just really hated my old url and wanted to change it)

so this is what i think ST characters would talk about in therapy. i hope they all get therapy for the upside down stuff, but here are some other things they might talk about. i am not a psychologist or anything and ive only read fictional accounts of therapy sessions, so this is basically just my views on what these characters have gone through. 

Will: signed up to talk about being possessed and the mindflayer and stuff. i think he probably discuss that, but also the affect his father’s abuse and the bullies at school had on him. (especially if @kaypeace21and @willthecleric ‘s theories end up being right)

Joyce: a list: being a single mom, trauma from Lonnie being an awful human (and its affects on her future relationships), and ive also seen things that say she has some type of mental illness?? like that one post about how Jonathan said “this is not an ok time for you to shut down”

El: obviously the trauma from being a lab rat for 12 years of her life, but i think shes also under a considerable amount of stress from feeling like she has to protect everyone else all the time. i think sometimes we forget that a LOT of these characters are just kids.

Mike: this is gonna be controversial, but i think mike is gay with a shit ton of internalized homophobia that he needs therapy for. (this has been explained to death so im just gonna leave it at that)

Lucas and Dustin: sadly they havent gotten a whole lot of development recently, but it seems like they were both bullied a lot. maybe for Lucas, the racism hes endured? (think Billy) and for Dustin, something about his dad, since he doesnt seem to be around?

Max: her stepdad is clearly abusive. she probably also needs therapy to deal with Billy’s death, even though he was abusive to her. she probably has mixed feelings about him, because he was abusive and beat up her boyfriend, but abuse (from Neil) can form bonds. 

Hopper: hes supposedly a veteran of the vietnam war? also he needs to get his toxic masculinity dealt with.

Jonathan: probably, like Will, dealing with abuse from Lonnie, and he probably feels guilty about what happened in s1. (sorry if the link doesnt work but this post explains it really well)

Nancy and Steve: idk...Nancy might talk about how Ted being a shit dad has affected her, and Steve says that his parents are also not the greatest.

so....this post got super long whoops! can you tell which characters i feel more strongly about? lol. sorry if this isnt what you meant

[liesyousoldme]

i wrote a Thing but idk how i feel about it so i’m going to put it here and just... see what happens. maybe one day it’ll move to ao3 as a oneshot but for now i’m super unsure about the characterization aksdfjldsfs anyway if you’re interested here’s a post-battle fix-it fic where eddie AND stan live but you only see stan for like five seconds

tw for some serious internalized homophobia including dealing w religious beliefs because religion is a big part of eddie’s fear of being gay and i never really put it in fics bc it can be such a tricky subject but. here we are.

also tw for thoughts/plans of suicide (it’s super brief)

this is...angsty.

“Meet back in half an hour?” Mike’s voice was cheery as he looked around at the six other Losers that stood in the hotel lobby.

Beverly and Eddie spoke at the same time – Beverly suggesting they do breakfast instead so everyone could get some rest, and Eddie loudly saying: “You expect me to get this nasty shit off of my body in less than thirty minutes?” He noticed Richie wince next to him. “What?”

“Dude, you’re screaming,” Richie told him, just as Mike agreed with Beverly.

“No I’m fucking not,” Eddie countered, frowning.

“As much as I hate to agree with Richie,” Stan said, “you are. Clean out your ears while you’re in the shower.”

Eddie gaped at his friend. “My… my ears?”

“Bet you got leper puke in there,” Richie added, grinning.

Eddie was horrified. He hadn’t realized everyone else had already headed upstairs to their respective rooms to shower – except Beverly and Ben, who seemed to have entered the same room. He wasn’t even sure where Mike had gone; he hadn’t heard the door of the inn open and shut but he also apparently had leper vomit in his fucking ears -

“While you guys argue, I’m going to take a shower and call my wife,” Stan said, an embarrassed expression crossing his face. Eddie wasn’t sure what to say; they all knew the story: Patty had caught Stan in the midst of writing seven letters, stopping him from following through on his plan and calling Mike to find out what had been so awful that her happy husband had decided to calmly sit down and write suicide notes for her and six people she’d never heard of. Mike and Stan had explained the situation to her as well as they could; in the end, it had been Patty who convinced Stan that he couldn’t turn his back on a promise.

“Well, I’ll see you in thirty minutes, Eds,” Richie said, when the door closed behind Stan. He started up the stairs when Eddie’s voice stopped him.

“There’s… I don’t have a shower curtain anymore,” Eddie told him, voice still too loud. “Or, it has a knife hole and blood on it… Also, there’s blood in my shower...”

“Eddie Spaghetti, are you trying to get naked with me?”

Eddie floundered, face turning red. “Wh – I – No! I just. Shut the fuck up, Richie!”

Richie laughed, gesturing at Eddie to follow him. “C’mon, dumbass, you can use my shower. I’ll even let you go first.”

“Wow, my knight in shining armor,” Eddie muttered, following Richie up the stairs. He’d already brought his luggage back up and left it outside his own room, so he grabbed it and entered Richie’s room. Richie was already digging through the one small suitcase he’d brought.

“You know…” Richie started, then paused. Eddie looked at him, dropping his toiletry bag on the bed next to Richie’s luggage. Richie looked back, biting his lip. He finally shook his head. “Never mind.”

“What?” Eddie asked.

“Just take your shower, Eds,” Richie sighed. 

Eddie felt his stomach drop and knew the disappointment on his face was obvious. He hated when people did that, started to say something and then pulled a never mind, and Richie knew that. Richie was looking down at his bag, still moving clothes around like he was looking for something, but Eddie was sure it was just a way to avoid eye contact. He waited for Richie to say something for a few moments, and when he didn’t, he rolled his eyes and went into the bathroom.

It was disgusting work, peeling off the clothes he’d been wearing for over 24 hours. He realized this outfit had been on an airplane, in a rental car, at a restaurant, in the basement of the pharmacy, covered in Leper puke, bled on from his own stab wound, through the Derry sewer system, into It’s lair and finally into the Quarry.

He already began making plans to burn all of it. He’d get the others in on it, too. A big fire pit for all their clothes, something symbolic for burning up all the shit they’d been through - he’d ask Bill, Bill was a writer, he’d know symbolism. And maybe if they burned the clothes the memories would burn too, and if they didn’t have the memories of what happened down in the sewers then maybe the fear would burn right up with them.

The shower in Richie’s bathroom was exactly the same as the one in his own, down to the ugly green color of the curtain, and the sight of it made him shiver. He stood under the water unable to close his eyes, constantly checking to make sure a crazy escaped inmate wasn’t waiting on the other side of the curtain with a knife. He’d seen Bowers’ dead body, but he couldn’t help but think the sharp end of a knife was going to tear through the curtain at any moment.

He started by cleaning out his ears, steadfastly avoiding looking at the gunk that he removed, then moved onto his hair, because he knew he’d have to keep his eyes closed the longest to rinse out shampoo and he wanted to get it over with. It took three washes before his hair felt sufficiently clean, and he’d only peeked around the shower curtain four times. After that, he used a washcloth from the hotel, lathered in his own antibacterial body wash, to scrub every inch of his skin until he was bright red but clean. He checked for an intruder only twice as he did so. He washed only the bottom half of his face with his face wash, carefully avoiding his new stab wound, choosing to scrub his forehead with the washcloth so as not to risk soap in the eyes. It wasn’t until he had opened the curtain and begun to dry off that he realized how hard his heart had pounded the entire time he’d been showering.

He was going to have to find a place with a walk-in shower, the kind with a glass door and glass walls - not even the foggy kind, just plain old see-through glass - once he decided where he was going to live after he left Derry. Not only did his house in New York have tubs with shower curtains, but it had Myra and years of unhappiness, and he had already decided he was not going back before he’d even left.

Once he was dry, he stepped out of the shower and frowned, wincing when it pulled at his injured cheek. He knew he should go to the emergency room, knew he needed stitches, but he was so fucking tired. Every muscle in his body ached from overuse and he wanted nothing more than to sleep for 12 hours.

He wrapped the towel around himself tightly and exited the bathroom, already planning to avoid Richie’s gaze and letting his eyes go directly toward his suitcase on the bed.

However, they landed on Richie in nothing but a white t-shirt and boxers on the bed, instead. He was clean, dark hair wet against the pillow, and he grinned wolfishly at Eddie.

“Oh,” Richie said. “Do you have something you need to tell me, Eds? You sleep in the nude? I’m sorry, but I’m not your wife, so – “

“Shut the fuck up,” he groaned, his face heating up. For a moment he worried that blushing would make his cheek gush blood, but Richie didn’t react and he didn’t feel any wetness, so he figured that was probably paranoia. He really needed fucking stitches. “I forgot to bring a change of clothes with me. How did you shower?”

“I used Ben’s, since he’s busy fucking Beverly in hers,” Richie answered casually.

“Christ, Rich,” Eddie muttered, shaking his head. “Don’t… You can’t say shit like that, they’re our friends.”

“Just because they’re our friends doesn’t mean we have to pretend like they’re not absolutely having sex right now.”

“I’d prefer not to think about it, actually,” Eddie said, kneeling down to the floor where Richie had placed his luggage and looking for something to use as pajamas.

“I’d prefer to think about it,” Richie grinned, waggling his eyebrows at Eddie, who had glanced up to give him a disgusted look.

“Stop thinking about Beverly naked, Richie.”

“Oh, it’s not Beverly I’m thinking about,” he said.

Eddie whipped his head around, clutching a t-shirt in his hand.

“Oh, come on,” Richie said, looking in the opposite direction. He’d tried to hide it but the change in tone was obvious to Eddie. Richie’s fingers fidgeted where they rested on his chest. “Ben’s super hot now, and Beverly’s like… my sister.”

Eddie wasn’t sure what to say. Was this a joke?

“Um,” he cleared his throat when his voice cracked. “What?”

“Don’t act all oblivious now, Eds,” Richie continued, though Eddie could still hear the discomfort in his voice. He always resorted to that fake laughter, to jokes that didn’t quite land, when he was nervous.

“Uh – Is this…” Eddie trailed off, staring at Richie’s poker face. “I can’t tell if you’re being serious about Ben. Like, are you actually attracted to him?”

Richie glanced to the side. “Attracted to him how?”

Eddie felt the urge to stomp his foot. Richie was being difficult on purpose and he wasn’t sure how, but somehow this was a ruse to make fun of him. “Attracted to him the normal way, Richie. Like, physically. Sexually. Whatever.”

“Well I certainly wouldn’t say no if he offered,” Richie shrugged.

“I’m sorry,” Eddie said, “but is this you coming out to me right now?”

“I thought I did that at dinner when I talked about how hot Ben was.”

“Can you be serious for like, five seconds?”

“I am being serious!” Richie insisted, sitting up. Eddie pulled his t-shirt over his head without removing the towel from his waist. “I mean… if you’re okay with that?”

“If I’m okay… With you being attracted to Ben.”

“No, you fucking dumbass!” Richie rolled his eyes. “I don’t give a shit about Ben!” He paused and shook his head. “Okay, no, I give a shit about Ben, just not like that. I just meant… if you’re okay with me being… not straight.”

“Oh,” Eddie breathed. He was clutching his towel.

“I uh, probably should’ve done this at a better time, huh?” Richie said, cheeks red. He laid back down, staring up at the ceiling. “Like, when you’re not naked.”

“I’m not naked,” Eddie argued weakly.

“You’re naked enough,” Richie muttered.

“I don’t know what that means.”

“God, Eddie, please tell me you’re not this fucking stupid.”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Eddie asked angrily.

“Nothing,” Richie answered, shaking his head. “Just go back to your room, Eds. I’m sure your bed doesn’t have blood on it.”

“Dude, no,” he said.

“I’m not asking, Eddie. You need to leave.”

Eddie stared, eyes wide. He’d never heard Richie’s voice like that and it made his stomach twist into knots. He was glued to the floor, watching as Richie sat up and put his feet on the floor.

“Eddie,” Richie said, his voice still cold. “I can’t do this right now, okay?”

“Do what?” He knew he sounded whiny but he couldn’t help it, Richie wasn’t making any sense.

“I can’t talk about my fucking feelings with you, Eddie,” Richie yelled, standing up from the bed. “Not when I just came out to you and you had no fucking reaction, and you’re either stupid or purposely ignoring what I’m trying to tell you, and you’re fucking naked!”

Eddie exhaled heavily. “You said you were attracted to Ben.”

“Oh my God,” Richie laughed to himself, though there was no humor in it. “So you are actually just that fucking stupid, then.”

“I’m not stupid, Richie, I understand what you’re telling me!” He shouted, finding a pair of underwear and gripping them in his hand. “I just – I don’t know what to say! I don’t know what you want me to say!”

“Just say you don’t hate me,” Richie choked. He looked up and there were tears in his eyes. Eddie’s heart lurched. His eyes drifted down, taking in the way Richie’s t-shirt was tight on his broad shoulders, the way it was so thin he could see the pink of his nipples and the black of his chest hair, and even lower than that more black, leading down… “Eddie?”

His head snapped up, heat crawling down his chest. “I-“ He took a moment to regain his thoughts. “I don’t hate you.”

“You sound very believable,” Richie snarked, falling back down onto the bed. “Now that we’ve had this shitty conversation, can you please just leave?”

He was trying to sound unbothered, even verging on annoyed, but Eddie could hear the hurt underneath. He didn’t know how he felt, but he knew he hated to hear Richie sound like that. Gathering his resolve, he found a pair of pajama pants in his luggage and marched back into the bathroom, closing the door behind him. He made short work of dropping the towel and dressing, ignoring the way his hands were shaking.

He'd never thought of another man like that. The way Richie seemingly thought about him. He’d never –

But that was a lie, and he knew it.

He had thought, he’d just ignored it. Even though he’d told Myra he wasn’t coming home, she was still technically his wife. And for his entire life, he’d technically been a straight man.

(Straight men don’t want a better look at their male best friend’s happy trail, his brain told him, and he shut his eyes tightly to try and make the mental image go away.)

So he occasionally spent a little too long looking at other men. And he occasionally thought of strong thighs and broad shoulders and low groans when he got off. But it wasn’t…

He thought back to childhood. Had he felt like this about Richie then, too? He remembered how close they had been, physically. Had he been leading Richie on, all those times he climbed into the hammock with him? All the sleepovers where they shared a twin bed? The movie nights where he hid his head in Richie’s shoulder during the scary parts?

Was it leading someone on if you wanted it, too?

What if you didn’t even know you wanted it?

Did he want it?

He didn’t notice he had begun to wheeze loudly until there were two knocks on the bathroom door. He jumped, gasping for breath he didn’t have. He felt dizzy.

“Eds? Are you okay in there?”

There was concern in Richie’s voice, none of the hurt from before. Eddie yanked the door open to find Richie standing on the other side, his worried look exactly how Eddie had pictured it.

“I’m sorry, Eds,” he mumbled, stepping back so Eddie had room to get through the doorway without getting too close. Eddie didn’t move. He tried to breathe in deeply, gripping onto the door handle. “I didn’t mean to freak you out-“

“Can you help me?” He asked, interrupting Richie’s apology. Before he could answer, Eddie went on. “When I – When I breathe, can you count? Slow; 4 in, hold for 4, out for 4?”

He wasn’t sure if Richie could even understand what he was saying, but Richie was nodding, grabbing his hand and leading him to the bed. Once he was sitting he closed his eyes against the dizziness and gasped for air, ignoring the tears that leaked out the side of his closed eyelids.

Richie’s voice was quiet as he counted. It took a few minutes before Eddie was breathing on time with Richie’s count without his chest feeling deflated, and it was only then he realized they were holding hands. With his free hand, he wiped the stray tears from his face. Once he felt like he could speak again, he turned to Richie.

“Panic attack,” he whispered. “Not asthma. Myra always just made me use my inhaler but… I saw a therapist, for a little bit. Right before the wedding. She taught me how to… How to make it stop, without it.”

“Why would she still think you needed your inhaler if it’s not asthma?” Richie asked, keeping his voice at the same quiet level as Eddie’s.

Eddie huffed a laugh. “Because it makes me weak. She likes me weak.”

“Eds, you’re not weak. You’re probably the bravest of all of us.”

He shook his head. Richie didn’t say anything else, just sat next to him while he focused on keeping his breathing even. He didn’t want to think about Myra, or about the kinds of things you need to be brave for. 

Richie was still holding his hand, and he let his eyes wander his direction, past where their hands lay in between them and to Richie’s legs, bare in just his boxers.

He’d never paid much attention to his own legs, or really the legs of other men. It wasn’t something that had crossed his mind-

(except maybe it had, when he was younger and laying in a hammock, but it wasn’t really about legs then, was it? It was about skin, the electricity he felt on days they both wore shorts)

-except in his dreams, the fantasies he pretended he didn’t have, the ones where thick, hairy thighs were wrapped around him, around his waist, around his head, on either side of his own – and he pretended not to think about what was in between, either, how lightheaded he felt when he got fucked up enough to really let himself think about it, to think about what was inside Richie’s boxers-

(but it wasn’t Richie’s cock he dreamed about (wasn’t it, though?) when he took enough of those anxiety meds that his filter turned off)

-and he could see it now, at least the outline, where thin material didn’t do enough to hide what was inside.

He was breathing too quickly again.

“Eddie-“

“You need to put pants on,” he choked out, taking in a deep breath.

Richie stood up immediately but Eddie couldn’t look at him as he spoke, embarrassment evident in his voice. “Fuck, Eddie, I’m sorry, I didn’t even think about it – I – fuck, I swear I’m not – I really don’t want to make you uncomfortable-“

“It’s just-“ He sucked in another deep breath, clenching his fists. His mouth started moving without his permission. “It’s – It’s hard to have a fucking gay crisis when your legs and your – your fucking dick are right there and I want-“ he closed his eyes when he heard Richie’s breath hitch. “I just… want. And I can’t have because the second I do I’m – I can’t – It’s wrong, Richie. It’s wrong, right?”

Richie had put on a pair of sweatpants while he was talking, and now he knelt next to Eddie, making sure to keep some distance between them. His face was red, and Eddie could tell his breaths were harsher than normal, could see his hands clenched into fists. But he didn’t say anything, just looked at Eddie, who choked out a sob. “Help me,” he begged, though he wasn’t sure what exactly he was asking for. He just wanted, and he needed that to be okay.

“It’s not wrong, Eds,” Richie finally said. His voice cracked. One hand came up to rest on the mattress next to where Eddie sat. “I know it – it was fucking hard growing up when we did, right? Getting called names and listening to people talk about AIDS like it was punishment, and even now, hearing all the bullshit from people who swear it’s all a sin, like it’s something we chose. But we didn’t, okay? You didn’t do anything wrong, and if you… If you choose to act on it, you’re still not doing anything wrong.”

“How do you know we won’t go to Hell?” Eddie whispered, grasping the comforter in his hands. He felt young, like a child asking for reassurance, but he was trapped in his own mind, trapped in the church he went to as a kid, where taking the bread was an act of courage every day, because God was going to know somehow, and He’d come right into the church and damn him straight to Hell.

“I don’t, really,” Richie answered. Eddie looked at him, helplessly. “But I think… You go to Hell for doing bad shit, right? For being a bad person. But there’s nothing – there’s nothing bad about love. I’m not doing anything bad by loving you.”

“What about sex? That’s – that’s the bad part, right? Love is great and whatever, but when it’s sex…”

“That’s not bad, either,” Richie promised. Eddie jolted when he grabbed one of his hands, uncurling his fingers from the blanket. “It’s natural and normal. But I don’t – I really don’t know what else to say, Eds. The whole religion thing was never a major issue for me. That’s probably more suited for like, intense therapy.”

Eddie nodded jerkily, laughing a little and squeezing Richie’s hand.

“Thank you,” he mumbled, “for talking me down. You were always the one that took care of me.”

“Yeah, well,” Richie shrugged, voice still soft. “I love you, so I’m gonna take care of you no matter what.”

Eddie wanted to tell him, wanted to say he loved him, too, but the words stuck in his throat.

“I’ll always let you take care of me,” he said instead, and hoped Richie understood what he meant.

“What are you going to do next? With – As far as, you know, your marriage?”

Eddie sighed. “She already knows I’m not coming home, but… I still have a job in New York. I guess I’ll have to find an apartment. I don’t know. And you’re right, I should go back to therapy, because I clearly have some shit to work out.”

Richie nodded. “I don’t think there’s a single one of us that doesn’t need to go to therapy weekly for the rest of our lives.”

Eddie snorted. “I don’t know how well a therapist would take it if you walked in and started talking about how you fought and killed an evil alien clown.”

Richie laughed. “Eh, I’ll write it into a stand-up routine instead. Comedy is basically therapy, anyway.”

“No,” Eddie said, vaguely alarmed, though still amused. Richie was grinning at him. “No, Richie. It’s important to me that you understand joking about your trauma onstage to a bunch of strangers is not the same as therapy.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Richie said, waving him off. He crawled backward until he was leaning against the pillows again, the same way he’d been when Eddie had gotten out of the shower. The bed was big enough that if Eddie were to lay next to him, they wouldn’t be touching. He thought about it. “And if you want, I have an apartment in the city. I’m not there very often, I spend most of my time in LA or on tour, but. There’s two more bedrooms than I need and… I mean, we could split rent or whatever. Even if it’s just til you find a place for yourself.”

Eddie looked at him. He wasn’t avoiding eye contact, but he wasn’t making an effort to look at Eddie, either. His hands were folded on his chest again.

“Okay,” Eddie agreed, taking a leap and situating himself next to Richie on the bed. His head hit the pillow and he sighed. He closed his eyes and tried not to think about how close Richie was. He fell asleep to the soothing sound of Richie’s even breaths, and when he woke he felt more rested than he had in years.