#or maybe a girl who works at Joyful Burger..

[krasytoonz]

YOU CANT JUST ENGAGE POPPY WITHOUT SHOWING US HER WAIFU/silly

that’s Classified Information!

Maybe I’ll reveal who it is in the next two years..

[sisterspooky1013]

Liquid Courage & Promises Kept

Rating: Teen and Up

Words: 3558

Read it on AO3

Tagging @today-in-fic

December 20, 1999

She’d been standoffish lately. Well, she’d been standoffish today, yesterday she was actually borderline flirty. He was having a hard time reading her from one day to the next, unsure if the difference in her demeanor was real or if it only existed in his head. At times he was sure she returned his affection; the flutter of her eyelashes over her icy blue eyes and the slight part of her pouty lips appearing as an invitation, and he’d almost accepted it several times. Almost. Something always got in the way; a knock at the door, the ring of a phone, the sting of a bee or the sudden aversion of her gaze, self consciousness dragging her back inside herself and away from him. He thought he could see the internal struggle in the set of her shoulders and the tuck of her chin. She wanted him as much as he wanted her, but she couldn’t admit it to herself, and he wasn’t going to push her. He’d waited this long, what was a bit longer?

Today, the typical relief that comes with a Friday afternoon was overshadowed by her businesslike demeanor, the perfectly polite but impersonal way she answered his questions, and the thorough but unemotional way she engaged in conversation with him. The more she withdrew, the more he advanced, grasping for some feedback, some response that soothed his feeling of rejection.

“Any big plans this weekend?” He inquired, resorting to small talk, which they typically didn’t need.

She didn’t look up from the file she was reviewing. “I’m getting dinner with an old friend from undergrad tomorrow. That’s about it.” Her tone was flat and disinterested, but not annoyed. She didn’t ask him about his own plans, not that he’d have had anything to share.

“Scully….are you okay? Did I do something?” He hated the whiny tone in his voice, the insecure way he sought her validation.

She looked up then, her brow knit in confusion. “No, why do you ask?”

“You just seem kind of…off? Distracted maybe? You don’t seem like yourself.”

He saw her sit up a bit straighter, just a touch more life enter her eyes. “Sorry, Mulder. I’m fine, it’s just been a long week I guess.” She offered him a thin smile. She was placating him, that he could tell, but he still wasn’t sure why.

He returned her tight-lipped, not at all genuine smile, nodding. “Glad to hear it.”

They finished out their workday, she wished him a good weekend and left the office quickly, before he had the chance to attempt walking out with her. Part of him wondered if “dinner with an old friend” was a euphemism; did she have a date? Maybe she was going out with an ex? He’d certainly been less than supportive (not to mention mature) when he’d been aware of her going out with someone in the past, so it would make sense that she’d hide it from him. Heaving a defeated sigh, he locked up the office and headed into a weekend full of boredom and misplaced jealousy that he didn’t have any right to feel.

**********************************

Saturday he had slept in, played some basketball at the Y, and stopped by to check out the Gunmen’s latest research to pass the time. It was now half past 8 and he realized he hadn’t eaten dinner yet, so grabbed his keys and headed to a restaurant in DC that had the best burgers, in his opinion. The fact that Scully was probably out on her date right now entered his mind at regular intervals, and he pushed it away, wanting to give her space to have an actual life outside of him and The X Files. Regardless of his feelings for her, above all else he wanted her to be happy, even if it was with someone else. The thought of having to meet some guy she was dating and act like he didn’t want to rip his face off made his stomach turn.

He parked in a 15 minute space just outside the restaurant and headed into the lobby. It was a busy Saturday night crowd, noisy and boisterous with various sporting events playing on several TVs and people shouting over each other to be heard. He placed his order, to go, with the hostess and then leaned against the wall to survey the scene while he waited. It was hard to say what made him feel worse, the families with children dragging french fries through lakes of ketchup, or the couples with their heads titled close together in intimate conversation, oblivious to anyone and anything but each other. His solo status was always painfully obvious in a setting like this. Most of the time it didn’t bother him, but today, knowing Scully was somewhere with someone else, it felt like shit.

And then he heard a laugh ring out like a bell. It was a sound he knew in his bones. One that, while infrequent, was a balm on his soul. Well, usually it was, anyway. But when he turned toward the sound and saw Scully, one hand to her chest while the other lay flat against the table top for stability, leaning toward the recipient of this sweet sound with her teeth bared in a joyful grin, his heart sank. She looked completely incredible, her hair mostly pulled back with a few strands loose around her face, a blue v-neck sweater clinging to her tiny frame and showing just a hint of cleavage. She was leaning in closer to a man whose back was to Mulder, removing the hand from her chest and placing it on his arm as she practically fell over in hysterics. He had never seen her like this, and envy twisted in his rib cage. Who the fuck was this guy that could make Scully laugh like that? He forced himself to look away, to stare at the gaudy rainbow checkerboard tiles on the floor. He checked his watch to calculate how much longer it might be before his food was ready and he could get the fuck out of here. Mercifully, the sound of her laughter subsided and he willed himself not to look that way again; he didn’t want to see something he’d never be able to erase from his memory.

He was doing such a good job pretending she wasn’t there that he was genuinely startled when he felt her cool hand thread around his elbow, linking his arm in hers. He looked to her and saw that her eyes were glassy and a little bit red. She was drunk.

“Come here often?” She drawled, her smile and the weight of her body leaning against him sending a wave of electricity down his torso.

“I might ask you the same” he countered, working very hard to seem casual, though he probably didn’t need to, given her state.

“Come sit with me.” She ordered. The contrast between her behavior at work yesterday and the open, seeking way her eyes roamed his face now was jarring. He was so confused by her signals.

“Nah, I don’t want to intrude. You’re out with your friend.” He couldn’t bring himself to say “date.”

She waved her hand in the air, brushing away the concern. “It’s fine, Mulder, he wants to meet you, come say hi.”

So she’d talked to her date about him? He wasn’t sure whether to be relieved, flattered, or weirded out. He turned to tell the hostess where he’d be before allowing her to pull him by the arm over to her table. As they approached, a second man sat down at the table, appearing to have just returned from the bathroom.

“Guys, this is Mulder!” She said with a level of excitement that seemed, to him, to be unnecessary.

“Mulder!” They both repeated as though they were reunited with an old friend. One was tall and blonde with an athletic build, the exact kind of guy he’d expect Scully to be interested in. The other was shorter and lean with a bald head and calloused hands. After an awkward beat where he looked at her expectantly, Scully remembered her manners and began introductions.

“Mulder, this is Rob, he and I were good friends in undergrad” she motioned towards the tall blonde man, and then to the shorter, bald one. “ This is his husband, Michael.”

A grin spread across Mulder’s face as he understood that this was most definitely not a date. He stuck out his hand and shook both theirs enthusiastically, agreeing to Scully’s insistence that he sit down as she stole another chair from a nearby table.

“I have to pee” Scully announced suddenly, leaving the table. Mulder looked after her in amused surprise at her lack of decorum. This was a side of his partner he had not had the pleasure of seeing yet.

Mulder stood to remove his coat, noticing Rob discreetly flick his eyes over his body as he did so. He always appreciated being checked out, even if it wasn’t from his target audience. As he sat back down, Michael spoke.

“It’s nice to meet you Mulder. Dana has told us so much about you.”

Mulder smirked self-consciously. “Nothing bad I hope.”

“Nothing that we can’t see with our own eyes” Rob remarked, giving him another once-over with an appreciative nod of his head. Michael jabbed him in the ribs with his elbow.

“Sounds like you do a lot of interesting work together” Michael offered, distracting from Rob’s remark.

“Uh, yeah, something like that” he responded cooly, seeing the hostess approaching with his order.

Scully returned from the bathroom and plopped down beside him dramatically, putting her hand on his thigh. He eyed her skeptically, but didn’t move it.

“I gotta go, I’m parked in a 15 minute spot. It was good to meet you both. You’ll make sure this one gets home okay?”

“Of course” Michael answered, sliding his arm around his husband’s shoulders. “Rob is a drunk Dana whisperer, from the stories I’ve heard.”

“No one wants to hear those stories” Scully warned, draining her glass. “Anyway, I’m going with you, Mulder.”

Mulder looked at her quizzically “oh are you?”

She gave him a coy smile and nodded, her eyes bleary from the booze.

“How about I take you home instead, party girl.” He stood and put his jacket back on.

Scully shrugged, accepting this alternative, and hugged her friends goodbye. Rob held on to her a little longer than Michael, whispering something in her ear that made her giggle before she told him she’d call him tomorrow. They left the restaurant arm in arm, and when they reached his car outside he opened the door for her to climb in first.

“So chivalrous” she mused, beaming at him.

He shook his head and laughed at her condition. In the moment, she was the antithesis of everything he knew her to be. The Scully he knew would roll her eyes and pity this blatant show of flirtation. Throughout the 15 minute drive to her apartment, she continued to paw at him, sliding her hand up his thigh until he batted it away. He settled on holding her hand, which seemed to make her happy and distracted her from more nefarious contact. When he pulled up outside her building, he expected her to get out and go inside, but instead she turned to him and asked “aren’t you going to walk me to my door?” It seemed to be asked in earnest, absent any innuendo, so he agreed. She held on to his arm and leaned into his side as they made their way in, her footing unsteady in her heels. He took her keys and unlocked the door for her, his feet planted firmly in the hallway. He was intrigued by her behavior and he could admit that he was very turned on by it, but she was drunk, and there was no way in hell he was going to take advantage of that.

“Come inside” she suggested, pulling on his arm.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Scully. You get some rest, call me tomorrow and let me know you’re alive. I’ll bring you some coffee and a breakfast burrito.”

She pushed her lower lip out in a little pout and stepped toward him, sliding her arms up his and on to his shoulders. The height of her heels compensated quite a bit for their usual discrepancy so that she only had to stretch a tiny bit for them to be face to face.

“What cha doin, Scully?” He asked, his mind telling him that this was a bad idea, while his body urged him to proceed.

“Just giving you a hug. Is that allowed?” Her voice was sultry and smelled like whiskey.

“A hug. Sure, I guess that’s okay.” His hands found her waist. Just a hug. They’d hugged hundreds of times.

She slid her hands around his neck and pressed her cheek to his and the rest of her body followed, breast to chest, pelvis to pelvis, thigh to thigh. This was not their typical hug. She was draped over him, her breath hot on his ear. He was afraid if this went on much longer, she’d be able to feel how much he wanted her. She pulled her head back, keeping the rest of her tucked against him, and looked at his face. God, she looked beautiful, if not a bit out of it. He willed himself to pull away, but he couldn’t, not yet. She leaned in and brushed her lips across his. Electric. His body tensed, knowing it couldn’t go on. Next she pressed her soft full pout against his lips, her fingers digging into his hair. He sighed, and then pulled away, stepping back from her, breaking contact.

She looked at him with a mix of embarrassment and confusion. Not wanting to send the wrong signal, he took both her hands in his. “You’re drunk, Scully. It’s not right. I don’t want you to do something you’re going to regret tomorrow.”

She held his gaze, her eyes watery and tired. “I won’t regret it, Mulder.”

“Well if that’s the case, kiss me sometime when you’re sober and I promise I won’t turn you down.” He was smiling at her, captivated by this moment where he felt like he could say anything, where they could be completely honest for once.

“Why haven’t you ever kissed me, Mulder?” There was sadness in her voice. Regret.

He took a breath before responding. “I guess…I wasn’t sure you wanted me to.”

“I do. I want you to.” He was afraid that he was about to find out she was a tearful drunk.

“Okay, I promise that I will. Soon.”

She nodded solemnly, and he pulled her into a hug, a real one, with her cheek squished against his shoulder and her hair tickling his nose. Keeping his hands on her shoulders, he stepped back and looked at her, asking “are you going to remember this conversation tomorrow?”

She blinked slowly, her eyes working to focus on his face. “I think maybe not.”

He laughed, stepping through into her apartment and leading her to her bedroom, where he waited outside the door as she changed into pajamas. Once she was tucked safely in bed with a glass of water and a bottle of Tylenol within arms reach, he went out to the kitchen and got a piece of paper to leave her a note. By the time he returned to leave it next to the glass of water, she was already asleep.

***********************************

Scully woke in the morning to find her mouth dry and sticky. As she sat up, her head lurched and squeezed her brain in protest. She looked around, unsure how she got here. The last thing she remembered was spotting Mulder at the restaurant, and then….nothing. Turning to check the time, she was relieved to see a glass of water and she chugged it down, stopping halfway to take two of the Tylenol; she must have put them there before she went to sleep. As she turned to drape her legs over the side of the bed and prepare to stand, she spotted a slip of paper on her nightstand and unfolded it.

Hey Party Girl,

I’m willing to bed you have a mean hangover. Whether you remember it or not, I did promise you a breakfast burrito. Call me when you’re awake.

Mulder

Her eyes went big. Mulder was here? She felt strange not being able to remember it, and hoped she hadn’t done anything embarrassing. First she dragged herself to the bathroom to brush her teeth and then took a shower, pulling last night’s mascara from her eyelashes. As she stepped out, already feeling a little better, the phone rang.

“Hello?” She cringed at the volume of her own voice.

“Hey pretty lady, you make it home okay?” It was Rob.

“Apparently so, though I don’t remember much of anything. What happened after Mulder showed up?”

Rob chuckled softly and her stomach turned. What had she done? There was a scuffling sound on the other end of the line and she could hear Michael say “stop torturing her!” Before he wrangled the phone away from Rob.

“It wasn’t that bad, Dana, Rob is just being a jerk. You got a little handsy with him then told him to take you home. We could tell he wasn’t going to take advantage of you.”

“Uh, what do you mean by handsy, exactly?” She was starting to feel nauseous.

“I think you had your hand on his thigh and you were making some serious bedroom eyes at him, but that’s it, at least at the restaurant. I can’t speak to what happened after you left.”

“Oh god” she whispered.

There was more scuffling and then Rob was back on the line “Look, honey, it’s clear that you both want to be with each other so I don’t see the issue. Just get over yourself and fuck him already.”

“Right, thanks Rob, that’s really helpful.” She rubbed her free hand over her throbbing temples.

“It was good to see you, Dana. We should do it again sometime.”

“Yeah, it may be a while before I can stomach alcohol, Rob.”

“You know my number. Bye.”

He hung up and she replaced the phone on the receiver, dropping her head into her hands with a groan. Dragging herself to her bedroom, she put on sweats and a t shirt, brushed her hair, and then flopped down on to the couch, already predicting it would be a wasted day. She was too old for this. When she heard Mulder’s familiar tap tap on the door, she considered staying very quiet until he went away, pretending not to be home.

“Scully, I know you’re home, your car is outside.” She heard him call out. Fuck.

Fluffing her hair a bit as she walked to the door so she wouldn’t look like a drowned rat, she opened it and found him looking adorable in jeans and a blue sweater, a paper bag in one hand and a steaming cup of coffee in the other. Her eyes went big at the idea of food and she realized she was starving.

“Well it’s clear the burrito is welcome, do I also have permission to enter the premises?”

He was grinning at her in a way she found both endearing and infuriating. She hated not knowing what had happened. Taking the bag and cup from his hands, she turned and walked to the couch, leaving the door open as an invitation for him to follow.

“Thanks” she muttered, taking a sip of the coffee before setting it on the table and unwrapping the burrito.

“How are you feeling?” He asked, eyeing her curiously.

“Like I drank way too much” she returned without looking at him.

He nodded knowingly. “Do you remember…everything?”

She shot him a wide-eyed look. “What is there to remember?”

He shrugged “nothing, just wondering.”

“Look, Mulder, I don’t really remember anything after you showed up at the restaurant and if I did something embarrassing I’d rather you just tell me now instead of dragging this out. So what did I do?”

He shook his head nonchalantly. “Nothing, Scully. You were very pleasant, actually.” He smiled at her and she knew there was more to it, but he was taking the path of allowing her to remain blissfully ignorant, and she was thankful for it.

He turned on the TV and they sat quietly and watched the news while she ate and drank, slowly feeling more human as the minutes passed. He saw her check the time and took that as his cue to leave, and she walked him to the door.

“Thanks, Mulder, both for getting me home safe and for breakfast.”

“Anytime. You really don’t remember anything, do you?”

She gave him a rueful look while shaking her head slowly.

“Well, in the event that anything does come back to you, I want you to know that I intend to keep my promise.”

“That really means nothing to me Mulder, but thanks I guess?”

He chuckled a little, then turned and left her to nurse her hangover in peace.

[stark-tony]

tododeku fic recs

* = incomplete

meet you again someday (after we take the long way ’round) by theroyalsavage

summary: Midoriya Izuku's life is saved by a boy with the strongest Quirk he has ever seen. 

Eventually - inevitably - he falls in love.(An AU in which Todoroki never attends UA, they never clash at the sports festival, but they come together all the same.)

pairings: tododeku

tags: hurt/comfort

warnings: none

that is just the way by celestialfics

summary:  Shouto has his first sleepover.

pairings: tododeku

tags: fluff

warnings: none

what is right and what is easy by theroyalsavage

summary: Midoriya Izuku is not chosen to represent Hogwarts in the Triwizard Tournament. He does not slay a dragon, or rescue innocents, or brave a maze of dark magic. He does not win accolades, or fame, or glory.

Instead, Izuku meets the son of the greatest dark wizard of the age, a Durmstrang student with hair like a sunrise and eyes like a war. And maybe, he just might win something else.

pairings: tododeku, kiribaku, tsuchako

tags: fluff, angst

warnings: none

First Time For Everything by kazzarole

summary: Midoriya is the catalyst of many of the 'firsts' in Shouto's life--it just makes sense that Shouto should share his first kiss with him, too.

pairings: tododeku

tags: fluff

warnings: none

alone together by celestialfics

summary:  Five times when other Class 1-A kids notice Todoroki and Midoriya in their own world.

pairings: tododeku

tags: fluff

warnings: none

A Simple Warmth by patster223

summary: “I’m trying to make Todoroki a sweater for his birthday, but…” Izuku pokes at the tangle of yarn. “It’s more complicated than I thought it would be.”

In which Izuku sucks at knitting, his classmates are eager to help out, Todoroki finally gets to be cozy, and knitting is a vector for romance.

pairings: tododeku

tags: 

warnings: none

Conventional Taste by WowBoring

summary: He didn’t think it would matter if Midoriya were taking him to a sewer convention; it was probably still going to be the highlight of his Golden Week.

In order to avoid a visit from his unpleasant grandparents Todoroki attends a hero convention with Midoriya, and learns a few things along the way.

pairings: tododeku

tags: fluff

warnings: abuse

pls respond by Esselle

summary: 'Midoriya: UR SO CUTE

Shouto chokes on nothing. How is he supposed to respond to that? Is he supposed to respond at all?

Midoriya: Look at your big head aaaaaaaaaaaaah Midoriya: *Image Attached*

Oh, Shouto thinks. He was talking about Shouto's Nitotan, which is now smashed to one of Izuku's cheeks in the image Izuku just sent, as Izuku squeezes it joyfully. Even if Izuku wasn't talking to him directly, the butterflies in Shouto's stomach feel a bit joyful, too.

He types out: I wish I were that Nitotan right now. Then he snorts, and erases it.'

--

Izuku has a wide variety of special moves, but his Key Smash might be the most powerful of all.

pairings: tododeku

tags: fluff, humor

warnings: none

i can keep a secret, could you? by handcrusher (ameliafromafairytale)

summary: The last thing Todoroki wants is for his father to figure out that 1) he's gay and 2) he's dating the boy he's supposed to overcome as a hero. So, he and Midoriya devise a plan.

Just how long can they keep it up?

pairings: tododeku, tsuchako, momojirou

tags: 

warnings: 

hold on tight by lunalou

summary: "What are you doing?" Shouto asks.

"Hugging you." Midoriya returns in a patient voice. His arms tighten around Shouto's waist and he presses his forehead more firmly against his back. "You know it's a hug, Shouto-kun. Don't play dumb."

or, five times somebody from 1-a hugs todoroki and the one time he hugs them first

pairings: tododeku

tags: 

warnings: 

If I'm Being Honest.... by I_dont_know_man

summary: Midoriya scrunched up his nose in confusion. “Uh, Shouto, why are you glaring at me like that?”

“I-” Todoroki began to lie, until nausea slammed him like a door to any room that Bakugou entered. “I--” Todoroki grit his teeth, and glared daggers into the wall behind Midoriya. Goodbye, friendship. It had been absolutely divine while it lasted. “Because you’re very attractive.”

They say honesty is the best policy, but it sure as hell had a knack for Todoroki making a complete and utter fool of himself. 

  In which Todoroki is placed under a mysterious truth-telling quirk and suffers, Uraraka laughs at him, Midoriya is confused but smitten nonetheless, and Twitter is the thirstiest site on the planet.

pairings: tododeku, kiribaku

tags: humor, fluff

warnings: 

Guiding Light by furihatachlookie

summary:  It was his mother's idea to enroll him at the local elementary school. His father believed a private tutor was better, but nobody can argue with a mother who's made up her mind, and a balanced exposure to kids his own age sways his father's judgement enough to agree and sign the papers.

pairings: tododeku

tags: fluff, angst

warnings: 

Todoroki and Yaoyorozu's Elite Study Club by hanwritesstuff (hannahkannao)

summary: “Well, as I see it, we have two options.” Shouto holds up two fingers. “We can either ignore this and pretend it never happened or... not.” He doesn't know which one he wants. “What does not entail, exactly?” Yaoyorozu asks. “...I don't know.”

In which Todoroki accidentally learns something about Yaoyorozu, Yaoyorozu accidentally learns something about Todoroki, and they spend a considerable portion of their study sessions... not studying.s

pairings: tododeku, momojirou

tags: fluff, humor

warnings:

Do What You Will, If That's What You Want by stanzas

summary: “What do you mean you’re retiring?” Bakugou asks nicely, or at least as nicely as someone like Bakugou can ask. The question is phrased more like a demand.“

Call it a mid-life crisis,” Shouto answers, like Bakugou asked him what the weather would be tomorrow, and takes a deep sip from his coffee. “I’m thinking of changing careers.”

The world of heroes is quick to adapt to surprises, but Pro Hero Entropy’s (very premature) retirement announcement throws almost everyone for a pretty impressive loop.

pairings: tododeku

tags: hurt/comfort, angst, humor

warnings:

extra, extra! by rythyme (pugglemuggle)

summary: Shouto & Creati: ACTUALLY Dating?! by Hitachi Hitomi at September 18, 2047 3:42 pm."Ever since heartthrob 

Todoroki Shouto and the Everything Hero "Creati" made their official debuts, the two 22-year-old heroes have been nothing but professional towards each other. But was this all a sham to cover up the truth?" 

Or: The media thinks Shouto and Creati are dating. Hint: they aren't. A multimedia TodoDeku & MomoJirou fanfic told through news articles, gossip columns, twitter, tumblr, text messages, and more.

pairings: tododeku, momojirou

tags: fluff, humor

warnings:

you broke the dark and my whole earth shook by aloneintherain

summary:  Shouto had imagined himself as the country’s top hero for decades. Endeavour had put those images in his head when he was a child, and they had stayed there, growing like a fungus, until Shouto had reached adulthood. Even now, he was only just beginning to realise he didn’t have to live his life according to almost thirty-year-old decisions made by his abuser. He could do more. Be more. Outside of the hero community.

Izuku gets a job offer in America. Somehow, this brings Shouto and Izuku closer than ever before.

pairings: tododeku

tags: fluff, hurt/comfort

warnings:

count your blessings, not your flaws by PitViperOfDoom

summary:  Midoriya Izuku has never been asked out, confessed to, or flirted with, except as a joke.

pairings: tododeku

tags: angst, hurt/comfort

warnings: bullying

call the fire department (i'm burning up with love) by Edgedancer

summary:  An (abridged) list of things Todoroki Shouto did not have before U.A.: Loud neighbors. Fire alarms. Friends. Midoriya Izuku.

pairings: tododeku

tags:

warnings:

long nights and daydreams by dreamtowns

summary: According to the public, Pro Heroes Deku and Entropy are an amazing Hero Duo, best friends, and the most eligible bachelors in the world. According to their fans, they’re head over heels in love with one another yet oblivious to the others’ feelings. According to their friends and family, they’ve been in love with one another since high school, but, for reasons unknown to them, refuse to act upon said feelings.

According to said heroes, they have been (secretly) married for six years.

pairings: tododeku

tags: fluff, hurt/comfort

warnings: 

extra-salty/twitter-verse series by SportsAnimeRuinedMyLife (KnightOfRage)

summary:  In his third year at UA, Todoroki Shouto works in a burger place, catches on fire and falls in love. Only two of those things are on purpose.

Or...Todoroki Shouto's exciting adventures in customer service.

part one of the extra salty/twitter-verse

pairings: tododeku, kiribaku

tags: fluff, humor

warnings: none

More Than Skin-Deep by Emmeri

summary: It was a fact, really. That he was ugly. Having a scar which takes up half his face kind of does that, in Todoroki's eyes. So why does he overhear the girls call him the class pretty boy?

He'll just have to ask Midoriya about it; he has too little filter to tell anything but the truth.

pairings: tododeku

tags: fluff, angst

warnings: 

Your Biggest Fan by Latios

summary: He opens the bag on the floor to see what could have been left in there-- and promptly freezes, staring at the contents inside.

“Midoriya.” He calls.

“Hm?”

“You bought our hero merch?”

~

Aka, Class 1-A starts to see themselves appear on merchandise in their local stores. Todoroki tries not to buy things, and fails.

pairings: tododeku

tags: fluff, humor

warnings: 

Marry The Mole by Haurvatat

summary: “You're going to break up with him before he can propose.”

The hands went down and the steel wall of Midoriya's entire being went up. “...Excuse me?”

“And in return-” Enji gritted his teeth, “-I will deposit 20 million yen in your checking account.”

-

The gay drama fic based on a tumblr post absolutely zero people wanted to see but YOU'RE GETTING ANYWAY

pairings: tododeku

tags: humor

warnings: 

ascended fanboy by aloneintherain

summary: “I want to honour them,” Izuku said softly. “When I cosplay, I just want people to see how amazing these heroes are.”

Shouto brushed a thumb over his cheek, careful not to smudge his makeup. “They do. I promise.”

Or: Izuku and Shouto attend HeroCon, five years post-graduation.

pairings: tododeku

tags: 

warnings: 

[beyscape]

The Intern - 3

Andy Barber x Reader

Summary: Being Andy’s intern meant you got to spend more time by his side more than anyone. This was fine, however, until feelings got in the way and made things complicated

Word Count: 4114 (oh boy)

Warnings: SMUT, pure filth, age gap, technically cheating, swearing and all that jazz

A/N Contains spoilers from episodes 1-5.

Chapter 1   Chapter 2  Chapter 3   Chapter 4   Chapter 5

Getting the day off wasn’t as hard as you thought it would be. Neal was busting his ass trying to prove Jacob was guilty and he wasn’t particularly fond of you, you knew if it had been up to him you would be sent packing the day Andy was forced to leave. So, when you approached him to get the day off, you didn’t even need to use the ‘family emergency’ card. In his eyes, you were just a disposable intern who had spent too much time with Andy fucking barber for his liking. You pursed your lips, not wanting to think of work as you waited for Andy’s black car to pick you up.

You looked around the silent neighbourhood, your small backpack sitting on the pavement next your feet. First rays of sun were illuminating the whole street with a soft light, the early morning chill wiping the last bits of sleep from your eyes. In the one time you had a proper chance to see Andy that past week, you had decided to drive up to Connecticut early Friday morning, careful not to get caught. The plan was to visit Andy’s father in prison, then hang out together before driving back home under the cover of the night. You were busy kicking a small rock and keeping yourself entertained when you spotted Andy’s car turning the corner.

“Hi baby girl.” Andy gave you one of those smiles you so loved seeing on his face, but you could still see the shadows lingering in his eyes.

“Hi.” You leaned in to peck him on the lips. Before you could pull back and get comfortable on your seat however, Andy pulled you back in with a hand sneaking down to your waist, holding you tight. His hot lips never leaving yours, he ran a hand down your back, as if to soothe down the shivers that were also caused by him. He loosened his grip ever so slightly as he moved to look at your face, a grin plastered on his face.

“What?” You questioned, yet your face mirrored his.

“I really like you is all.” Andy faintly remembered the excitement of a new relationship from almost sixteen years ago, everything seemed different and shiny in those first moments, but there was something else he didn’t quite recognize in his heart too. Something that made him believe everything would be okay as long as he had you by his side, despite everything.

“How do you not know this song? It’s impossible you don’t know.” Andy shook his head with a small laugh of disbelief escaping his lips.

“Alright old man, I’m picking the next song.” You stuck your tongue out at him thinking he wouldn’t see it as he focused on driving, you were wrong. You yelped in surprise when Andy reached out and flicked your nose without even looking at you, the corners of his eyes crinkled with a rare, completely genuine smile.

It was so easy to laugh and forget about everything clouding over your heads as you drove further away from Newton, and ignoring the end of your destination, it was a much-needed change of pace.

“Let’s do this again sometime. I know it’s hard with how things are now, but in the future.” You watched the scenery roll by with occasional stolen glances at the man sitting next to you.

“Do what, baby girl?”

“Take a road trip. Leave Newton and our jobs, our labels for a while. Go someplace where you are not a married man and I’m not your intern.” You sighed.

“As you wish.” He looked at you for a second before turning his attention back to the road. “I know how much things suck right now, but I promise you, it will all end soon. We will get Jake off the hook; we’ll finally get the divorce that should’ve happened year ago and… We’ll be alright.” His right hand found yours over the console, gripping tightly.

“I trust you.” After a year of working together night and day, you knew that when Andy Barber made a promise, he made sure to keep his word. So, you knew, eventually, you would be alright.

After one stop to get some gas and morning snacks, your car rolled into the facility in the middle of the lush greenery. The closer Andy got to facing his father he had tried his whole life to distance himself from, he grew quiet. He would still give you small smiles with the corner of his mouth or engage in whatever conversation you started to help him relax, his joyful mood from earlier was gone.

“For Jake,” he had muttered more to himself than you, reminding himself why he couldn’t turn the car back around and drive as far as he could, away from the dreaded conversation. He placed a lingering kiss on your forehead before heading inside the building, in the manner of a silent thank you.

You were messing around with your phone maybe for fifteen minutes when Andy’s sulking figure made its way towards the car, he shook his head negatively when your eyes met, and that was all you needed to know your little mission had failed. You drove back the road you came in silence, the only sound being the low humming of the car engine.

“Fucking asshole.” Andy filled you in before digging into the burger sitting in front of him. It was a classic off the road diner, the kind frequented by the tired drivers at all kinds of odd hours.

“I can’t believe he refused. He sounds like a real piece of shit. Even without the whole murder thing, I mean.”

Andy snorted. “That’s one way to put it. We’ll simply have to skip it.”

“You know Neal will bring it up in trial and try to use it.” You reminded him, that was what you would do had the case been different.

“It’s bullshit.” You stuffed your face with the side of fries as you nodded in agreement. It was complete bullshit, and you could feel the frustration of a parent radiating from across you.

“Do you wanna spend the night here? I really don’t want to go back and deal with Lau- I mean, I don’t wanna deal with this tonight.” You looked up in surprise. Seeing right through him even with him trying to play it cool, it was obvious him and Laurie would get into another fight over this. Your heart sped up at the thought of spending the night together, away from all the things keeping you apart.

“I would like that very much.”  Your knees touched under the table, your gazes locked, both feeling the electric contact and not making any move to break it.

Twenty minutes of driving around was all it took before you stumbled on a small town, where you spent the rest of the afternoon together. Hand in hand, feeling more free than you had in weeks, you walked through the town. It was a great feeling, being able to be a couple out in the public without everyone knowing who you were and looking at you with judgement in their eyes. You looked at Andy, golden hair shining under the sun that peeked behind the clouds, and for a moment you were reminded of a time without his son’s future in the line. It was a selfish thought, but you didn’t want to go back. With his arm around you, holding you secure to his chest, you were content.

After a rather quick and clipped call to Laurie and an excuse of car trouble, you made your way towards the motel on the outskirts of the town. It wasn’t the best-looking motel, it was definitely not where Andy had originally wanted to bring you to, however it seemed to be only option. So, the two floored motel with its orange painting chipped at parts would have to do. That, sleeping in the car or worse, going back to Newton were your only choices, and you both were fast to agree on the first option.

 “A room for two, please.” Andy reached into the pocket of his dark coat to grab his wallet. Knowing the stubborn nature of his, you made no protest to pay although you weren’t too happy. The girl who didn’t look older than twenty looked up from behind the reception desk and eyed you up.

“Name?”

“Andy Barber.” She nodded, typing fast on the keyboard before reaching back for the wall of keys.

“Here you go, Mr. and Mrs. Barber. Room 204.” The girl turned back to her phone after sliding the key towards Andy.

“We-” You began, startled at the assumption although a part of you gushed at the name, but stopped at the shaking of Andy’s head. He couldn’t contain his laughter much more as he led you up to your room for the night, the sound was contagious. You noticed this was the first time he had laughed like that in what felt like a forever, you couldn’t help but join him.

The room was what you expected, the crème coloured walls almost looking yellow due to the lamps sitting on each side of the bed. The bed, occupying most of the small room was covered with pink and blue flower design bedding that looked like it was left there during the 80s.

“I’ll go wash up.” Andy muttered before heading into the bathroom, you dropped your backpack on the floor next to the night stand. You removed your coat, and then your sweatshirt, suddenly feeling too hot despite the room’s temperature being on the cool side. No, it wasn’t the weather itself, you mused as you eyed the bed, but rather the fact that for the first time, you had the whole night alone with Andy Barber. Not a stolen moment, afraid of getting caught. Here, you were just Y/N and Andy. You could do anything you wanted without a single worry on your minds. You gingerly sat on the bed, fiddling with the end of your tank top.

Andy stepped out of the bathroom a moment later, stopping right at the door upon seeing you. He eyed you up and down, so very slow you felt his gaze burn through you, a smirk spreading over his lips. You gulped quietly, but not breaking the stare.

“Waiting for me?” he asked, and two long strides later he was right in front of you. He placed a finger underneath your chin to tilt your head and make you look up to him.

“Maybe.” You drawled, the tips of your fingers tracing his thigh up and down.

 With a hiss Andy leaned down, his lips crashing onto yours in a way you never were kissed before. His large hands cupped your ass as he scooted you to the middle of the bed, not breaking the heated kiss. You moaned when your back met the surprisingly soft mattress but it was muffled with his warm lips never leaving yours, and Andy was on top of you in a matter of seconds. More and more and more was all you could think of, hands roaming on his broad back wildly in a desperate effort to pull him closer than he already was.

 You wanted to feel his skin under your hands, run them through his toned muscles and get rid of all the unnecessary layers between you, Andy knew what you wanted as you tugged the hem of his shirt.  You took in a deep breath when he pulled back only for a second to throw his shirt to a corner of the room, your eyes wandered on his abs and strong arms, he looked down at you with the same hunger in his eyes. You looped a finger around the waist of his jeans, tugging them down with hurried movements and fumbling hands, aching to have all of him. He chuckled at you before slipping his jeans off and sending them to accompany his shirt, now all that was left was his boxers and the silver necklace he always had on him. You bit your lips at the sight in front of you, gently running a hand down his length.

A breathy sound escaped Andy’s lips and they were back on yours, with a quick move Andy swapped your positions. Now, you leaned down to kiss him with your hands going down to unbutton your jeans, the need of getting closer and feel him against your skin almost driving you crazy. You followed suit and slid them off along with your tank top, left only in your lace bra and matching panties. Even though this night was quite spontaneous, you were secretly hoping for such a night and patted yourself on the back mentally for coming prepared.

“Shit, baby girl, you drive me crazy.” Andy ran a hand down the side of your body, stopping on your thighs. You shivered at his touch; Andy pulled you closer to his chest once again. Sitting on his lap, you shifted as you felt him press against you, rock hard. His hands were everywhere, exploring and marking his way as they ran through your hair, your back, the length of your legs… You couldn’t decide if this was pure torture or the best feeling in the world. Maybe a little bit of both.

You got up and lay on your back in the middle, pulling Andy in by the waistband of his boxers, almost begging to be pushed down. He supported himself above you on his elbows, leaving sloppy, wet and warm kisses down the trail of your neck.

“These,” he whispered against the warmth of your skin between kisses, “have to go.” In one swift moment your bra was gone. He placed a kiss to the curve of your breast, so close you felt his hot breath hit your nipples already hard with pleasure. You threw your head back with a whimper as his tongue teased and toyed with you, getting so close before wandering down your stomach.

With each kiss he went lower and lower, but never reaching the one place you wanted him the most. Before long you were a mess under him, with his tickling lips and wandering hands you prayed you would survive the night.

“Andy, please,” another whimper left you as lips connected with the inner parts of your soft thighs, dangerously close.

“That’s right baby girl, tell me what you need.” You felt his smirk on your skin.

“I need, I,” you sighed feeling his fingers toy with the band of your panties, “I need you.”

“Tell me how, and you have me sweetheart. I’m right here.”

“I need you in me, please, Andy,” You shut your eyes, unable to stop the curling of your toes as he ran a finger down your slit, still not making any move to remove the final layers between you. He enjoyed teasing you, seeing you moan and whimper completely begging for his touch was something he never knew how much he needed.

His rough hands finally tugged down the last piece of cloth covering you, leaving you utterly bare and under his control in front of him. Andy felt himself twitch, unable to keep teasing you as the urge to have you took over him.

You opened your eyes to see what he was doing, and the sight you met with almost made you gasp. There he was, fully naked; your eyes trailed down his pecks to his abs, and then to his cock. Standing proud and hard, you took in his length and girth with a hunger in your eyes.

“I need you. Now.” You reached your hand towards him, eager to pull him close and hopefully never let go.

“As you wish.” He lowered himself down, giving you a long kiss as a hand slipped between your legs. You shuddered at the tease of his hand, feeling him play with your clit send electric waves through your whole body. A finger slid in you, then another one, picking up the pace until Andy was satisfied with the wetness dripping down his hand. Placing a soft kiss on your knee he pushed them open, positioning himself before you. He ran his wet fingers down his shaft and his tip, lathering himself well.

Another soft moan escaped your lips as you felt his tip tease your entrance mercilessly, just wanting to feel Andy fill you already.

“Ready?” He asked, you found yourself unable to form words in that moment of euphoria so you just nodded.

Seeing you under him, already a mess for him, Andy swallowed. He took one moment to look you up and down, wanting to burn this moment well into his memory and never forget it. In that moment, he was overcome with such desire, such passion that with a grunt he pushed himself in. Any small thought of protection flew from his mind upon that feeling, leaving no trace behind as all he could think was how good it felt to be in you.

“Fuck.” He moaned and pushed a little bit more inside you. A part of him wanted to fuck you senseless then and there, but the less animalistic and more caring part of him scanned your face for any sign of discomfort. It was a tight fit already and Andy feared hurting you, damn the passion blinding him.

“I’m good,” you breathed out, noticing his peering gaze. You ran a hand down his thigh. “More.”

Andy happily obliged, slowly pushing all of his length in with a grunt deep in his throat.

“You feel so fucking good. Such a good girl you are, Y/N.” He lowered his body down on his elbows to give you a kiss. You felt his tongue push in, penetrating and filling your mouth just as you felt his cock pulse in you. He pulled back ever so slightly, pushing a strand of hair fallen on your forehead.

He started moving slowly at first, allowing you get comfortable with him. Even though you claimed you were okay, Andy planned on using the precious alone time you had as well as he could, so your comfort was of upmost importance for him to execute his plans.

Andy picked up his pace, pulling out almost completely before slamming back into you, each time sending waves of pleasure crash through you as your moans synchronized with his moves. Your legs wrapped around his waist, pulling him closer and deeper as the wet sound and your whimpers mixed with his grunts and the occasional ‘fuck’ that slipped between his lips and onto your skin. Your nails left hot red marks down his back, sending Andy into a whole new level of frenzy.

You couldn’t resist the orgasm threatening to rock through you any longer, you gave in to the feeling as you arched your back, all kinds of incoherent sounds and words glided out of your lips. Feeling you tighten around him and the sweet sounds you made underneath him made Andy shiver as he slammed into you time and time, the rocking of hips becoming sloppier and rougher with each time.

One of your hands pulled at his hair, the other wrapped tightly around his shoulder, your body shook to his rhythm. His trail of wet kisses down your breasts and the teasing tongue left you purring against him, never wanting this night to come to a stop.

Andy swore under his breath as he pulled out, you drew inhaled sharply at the sudden emptiness, disappointed and needing much more of him. He gave you a look as if to say ‘I know’ before pulling you up and on top of him as he now lay in the position you were in mere seconds ago. You purred against him, peppering kisses on his face, your fingers playing with his tip.

“How does it feel to be teased, Mr. Barber?” Your hand gripped one of his balls, satisfied with the moan you got in response.

“Fuck, ride me, baby girl, come on.” He swallowed once. Twice.

  You positioned yourself, hoovering just above his tip, originally wanting to tease him longer but couldn’t resist the urge to lower yourself down and feel him fill you up once more. Slowly you guided yourself down on his shaft, mouth open as you did so, Andy’s hands cupping your ass and helping you.

Soon you were fucking yourself on him, Andy’s fingers gripping you so tightly you were sure it would leave a mark. You didn’t care.

The downright sinful sounds coming from Andy fueled you to pick up your pace, chasing your orgasm. The eagerness of making Andy cum and please him like the good girl he called you was a close second in terms of motivation.

“Are you tired, huh?” Andy managed to let out, grabbing your ass to push you up and down on him. He pulled you under, kneeling as he kept pushing in and out with his hands holding your knees.

“Shit sweetheart.” His sigh echoed as stars began flying in front of your eyes, hot white pleasure claiming you for the second time, you winced when Andy pulled out sharply, stroking himself and shuddering as he finally reached his own release, white thick ropes of cum splattering on your breasts and stomach.

He looked at you with sparks in his eyes, a dumb grin on his handsome face, you chuckled at his expression. A gentle hand reached out, caressing your cheek with a look full of adoration. No words were needed as you hastily cleaned up yourselves, wanting to go back to one another’s arms without any more delays. You had waited long enough.

You lay your head on his chest as a strong arm wrapped around your waist and pulled you close, his second hand running through your hair with soft strokes. Your hand lay on his chest too, right above his heart, a tired smile danced on your face as you felt the steady beat of his heart.

Andy looked down slightly at your face, at the happiness he could so easily read, and felt his heart tug with emotion. You were here, in his arms, and he felt so damn lucky.

His.

Andy smiled.

When was the last time he allowed himself to be this happy? Sure, he was happy when he won a case, though it always was shadowed because of the long and exhausting hours he pulled. He was happy at his home, with his family, but the problems of his marriage ran deep and even though he loved Jake with all of his heart, he couldn’t deny the fact that sometimes he dreaded to go home. But now, here, in this moment his heart swell with pure joy and affection towards the young woman he held in his arms. He couldn’t believe it. He used to think maybe he had done something to piss universe off. That’s why things never fully looked up for him.

Maybe the universe wasn’t so bad after all.

“Thank you.” He muttered in a quiet voice, his fingers drawing shapes on your arm.

“For what?” You raised your head slightly to face him. You caught your breath at the sudden closeness, and the way his eyes looked like deep pools of blue you wanted to dive in.

“For everything. For being by my side, I guess. You have no idea how much you mean to me.”

“If it’s anything like how I feel for you, I think I have some idea.” You leaned in to share a slow kiss, unlike those of passion some time ago, this one stirred the deepest of emotions within you. A promise, it was.

You talked of all kinds of things in that embrace, with hushed voices not caused by fear or getting caught, but caused by the level of intimacy. In that moment, where limbs were entangled and pressed together under the god-awful floral print you both laughed about, you didn’t even need words.

You weren’t exactly sure when you fell asleep with your head still resting on Andy’s chest, but you knew when you woke up. You blinked as your eyes adjusted to the dark room, head snapping towards Andy upon the sound hitting your ears. It was faint, sounded like muttering and whimpering, you searched the face of the man laying beside you when it hit you: he was having a nightmare.

“Hey, Andy,” you called out his name softly, “come on, love.” You coaxed him out of sleep, gently running a hand through his hair in the hopes of calming him down. His eyes snapped open with a small gasp, eyes looking around in fear for a split second.

“It’s me,” you got his attention, hard breathing of his chest calming down with your touch, “I got you.”

“Oh, Y/N.” He exhaled slowly, closing his eyes. You pulled him close this time, resting his head on your chest as you hugged him, dropping kisses on his head, along his hairline, on the creases that made home above his eyebrows. Just as you thought Andy was back asleep because of his steady breath, he spoke.

“It’s my father.” Was all he needed to say, and you understood him, understood how hard it was for him to open up about the very thing he escaped from confronting his whole life.

“I know, sweetheart. I got you.” You muttered again and again, determined to make him believe and know that you meant what you said. His arms tightened around your waist as you closed your eyes, hand still combing through his soft hair. Neither asleep, you laid there until the first streaks of sun began to invade the room, reminding you both the dreaded car drive back to Newton was closer than you liked. You pushed that thought to the furthest corner of your mind as you turned your focus on the man between your arms, and let sleep wash over you like a cold blanket.

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5 a.m on the dot as I post this, whew! I’m incredibly rusty in smut writing, so help me practice and send some requests, huh? My inbox is open for requests, feedback and all kinds of asks!

[misterewrites]

Annabeth and the First Date

Hello everyone! E here hoping you are all staying safe and sound among these trying times. Remember to take care of yourself and others. 

I’m back with a collab! WOO! My good friend @hains-mae and I have teamed up to bring you some good times and what better way to celebrate the very conflicted feelings I have about Percy Jackson being made by Disney (Looks at the Artemis Fowl Trash fire) then by writing about it!

So we kinda just threw whatever at the AU wall to see what we wanted to do and we both settled on this college style au. It’s not completely fleshed out but the idea I have is everyone are still demigods and they still get trained but they don’t really go on quests or fight monsters until they’re 18 years old because the monsters get more of a challenge and street cred than just killing children. Yeah we just wanted to do a college style au.

So this story is Annabeth’s first date. She’s 17, in college and doesn’t know Percy but they both know Grover. I like to think that Camp Halfblood is still a thing and she’s been training since she was a child like canon but in that one year in between coming of age and not being a target, a lot of demigods go to school as a last taste of normalcy and maybe to get motivation not to die. 

Yeah we just went for it.

So Percy and Annabeth of 17 and they don’t know each other. They haven’t done their first quest.

so enjoy! stay safe, social distance, masks! not optional and I’ll see you soon with the next one. Have a great week everyone!

17 year old Annabeth Chase was not happy with her most recent life choice.

She would’ve scolded herself for using less than stellar vocabulary but between being seated alone amid a sea of smiling, joyful couples and her date now officially 30 minutes late with no word of his arrival, she was not in a great mood.

“Go on a date they said” She mockingly murmured under her breath “It’ll be fun they said. You need to get your head out of a book, it’s not healthy.”

Annabeth scoffed: How was reading a book not fun? Her mother, Athena, prided herself on knowledge. Knowledge was the single most important foundation in life and with knowledge all things were possible.

She grimaced as she blew a strand of her curly blonde hair out of her face, disliking the increasing embarrassment she felt about being stood up.

Her mistake was putting too much faith in the Aphrodite dorm rooms. The self proclaimed matchmakers had been hounding her relentlessly since the first week of college and while she had done a fantastic job avoiding their interest (if she says so herself), eventually they set their efforts upon her single life.

“Shouldn’t have caved” Annabeth frowned as she rubbed her arm awkwardly.

She could’ve outlasted them. The librarian already banned the lot of them from the library and Annabeth knew plenty of secluded spots where no one could find her for hours. Admittedly, though, it was getting more difficult when they began ambushing her in pairs: Outside her dorm, outside her classes, in the cafe where she loved to study. For people who never once did their homework or cared about things outside love, they were surprisingly vicious.

One date. That’s the agreement she negotiated with them though she could tell behind their wide smiles they were planning on multiple suitors in case this one did not work out.

“I didn’t even want to go on this stupid date.”

Annabeth sighed, unable to hide the disappointment.

Despite her better judgment, she actually was looking forward to this date. Maybe it was the idea of finding someone to talk physics or classic Greek to. To have intellectual debates and spend time with.

To not be lonely anymore.

She placed her head glumly in her hand.

She even dressed up for the occasion.

Annabeth was the definition of practical. Her usual attire consisted of shirt, shorts, jacket if it was cold and hair tied up in a messy ponytail tucked under her Yankee’s hat (go Yanks!). She wasn’t at school to impress anyone. She was there to learn and fight off the occasional monster.

She knew that was the real reason she felt foolish: She bought into this. Like everything she had ever done in her life, Annabeth threw herself completely and utterly into the challenge of a first date.

Her normally messy, unkempt blonde hair was tastefully curled and pulled back into an elegant (But still practical) ponytail. She wore a long black dress that shimmered every time she moved with a matching shawl and black simple flats. She had even swallowed her pride and asked Silena (the only Aphrodite child she ever trusted) to help her with her make up.

“I should just go….”

“Annabeth?”

Annabeth blinked, completely caught off guard and mortified someone recognized her in this fancy restaurant until she noticed the familiar brown curls under a tacky beanie.

“Grover!” Annabeth beamed happily, giving her satyr friend a quick side hug “It’s good to see you!”

Grover Underwood was an old friend of Annabeth. They had met when he was sent to bring her to Camp Halfblood safely and they had been close friends ever since. Though between Grover’s job of disguising himself as a human and bringing demigods back safely and Annabeth starting college, the two hadn’t seen each other in a while.

“What are you doing here?”

Grover scratched his goatee nervously “Working, you know.”

Annabeth gave knowing nod and raised eyebrow as she scanned the room.

“The cook” Grover’s voice dropped to a whisper as he hunched closer “I’m certain he’s a demigod. I’m here to keep an eye on him.”

Grover stood to full height once again and smiled “So what are you doing here?”

Annabeth fidgeted under his gaze “I...well...I decided to take a break from my studies.”

Grover looked unconvinced “In a fancy restaurant in an equally fancy dress?”

Her cheeks burned brightly “Grover, don’t you have work to do?”

Grover’s nearly popped out of his head, his legs thrashing so wildly about Annabeth was scared he was about to take off in a scamper “OH YOU’RE RIGHT! Umm, can I take your order miss?”

Annabeth finally noticed his well dressed attire: A nice collared shirt (With the collar anxiously chewed upon) black slacks and loafers with a little notepad and pencil at the ready.

“Oh.” she muttered as it clicked into place “OH! Y-yes. I would like to order the burger and some water please.”

Grover scrawled his friend’s order and bolted for the kitchen, moving with an unusual but panicked grace.

Annabeth chuckled to herself before the loneliness fell upon her once more.

“I might as well enjoy myself so this night isn’t a complete failure.”

20 minutes later

“Umm, excuse me? Is this seat taken?”

Annabeth scrawled furiously upon her napkin, mumbling under her breath about the possibilities of X.

“….Hello?”

“If I carry over 47 and I...”

“Look, I’m not going to stand all night and talk to air.”

The table shook unexpectedly and knocked the studious girl out of her brainstorm.

Annabeth blinked “Wait, are you talking to….me?”

Annabeth could feel her cheeks turn a bright pink as she caught sight of the person in front of her.

He was roughly her age with long dishevel jet black hair swept to one side as if he just gotten back from a walk on the beach. His eyes were shimmering green, the kind of green only the ocean could muster. His smile was mischievous yet playful, one you would often find on a troublemaker. He wore a dark blue collared shirt that was freshly pressed and a rather cute tie with seashells. His hands were stuffed anxiously into his black dress pants as he waited for an invitation to sit.

“I...” Annabeth began.

“Are you Annabeth?” The stranger asked quietly, glancing to one side uncomfortably.

“Yes” she answered slowly “Yes! Did...”

“Grover” The strange answered simply “he called me over. Said he you might want some company.”

“Grover?” Annabeth tilted her quizzically before realization hit her “Grover!”

She whirled around to find her furry friend spying through the kitchen porthole.

Grover let out a frighten bleat before ducking out of sight.

Percy. That’s who was in front of her. Grover had called Percy.

Annabeth knew about Percy for a few years now though she never met him officially. He was another demigod Grover brought to Camp Halfblood and one the young satyr was determined to have her meet.

Annabeth managed to dodge meeting the mysterious Percy Jackson through her busy schedule but it seems Grover had finally gotten his way.

“Percy, right? Grover’s talked about you alot”

But never mentioned how cute he is.

Percy scratched the back of his neck “Yeah that’s me. I live close by and Grover said you were feeling down so...”

Annabeth rolled her eyes “He figured he send you to cheer me up?”

Percy shrugged “I’m pretty sure he just wanted us on a date. I can try to cheer you up. No promises though”

Despite herself, Annabeth giggled “At least you’ll try right?”

Percy gave a goofy grin “For pretty girl like you, why not?”

Annabeth’s blush worsened “Well take a seat and let’s see I can bore you away. I tend to have that effect on people.”

“Nice try Wisegirl but I’ll have you know nothing is more boring than sitting in a class for an hour with no idea what’s going on and no escape.”

“I’ve never had that problem” Annabeth beamed proudly.

Percy playfully waved her off “Yeah yeah, you’re super smart. So you’re gonna be my tutor?”

“Whoa whoa whoa” Annabeth grinned impishly “I never agreed to that.”

“You said you never had a problem in class, I have the attention of goldfish. Sounds like you need to tutor me.”

“So you have seaweed for brains?”

Percy grimaced “It’s the tie, huh?”

Annabeth nodded, trying to stifle a laugh “Really gives it away Seaweed brain.”

“It’s my mom! Thought it be cute or something” Percy groaned unhappily.

“I like it. It is cute in a geeky sort of way. Marine biologist?”

Percy gave her a confused stare.

“Your major.” Annabeth clarified.

“Oh” Percy grinned sheepishly “Nah, way too easy.”

“Too easy because you’re smart or….?”

“I am not smart.”

“I dunno. Obtuse maybe.”

Percy shook his head “No idea what that means.”

Annabeth snorted cutely,covering her face in embarrassment before staring daggers at Percy. Percy put up his hands innocently.

“Everything going well?”

Grover appeared, a well cooked and delicious burger in one hand and a fresh out of the oven blue pizza in the other.  

Annabeth opened her mouth but Grover cut her off “Customer’s choice.”

Annabeth just nodded as Grover set down their plates.

“So” Grover began nervously “Not going to kill me?”

Percy gave a noncommittal shrug while Annabeth answered “Jury’s still out.”

“Oh, I hear someone calling me. Coming!” And as quickly as he came, Grover vanished.

Annabeth eyed the strangely bluish hue of the pizza Percy was digging into, unsure what to make of the odd choice.

“I like blue” Percy answered bluntly “Sue me.”

“I guess I’ve seen stranger.”

“Ha ha wisegirl. Just for that, we’re getting ice cream after.”

Annabeth smiled softly at the idea.

“That would be the worst seaweed brain. The absolute worst.”

[araingirl]

Promo: Five Investigators (Detective AU)

Sunshine was the best performer of the day, playing across the blue sky where the sliced clouds accompanied it, floating in their own ways. The spring breeze blew gently throughout the entire par, making the new leaves of the branches sway and caressing the petals of the yellow-red flowers of the new season. Shying away, they turned their faces as the birds sitting over them hummed, teasing the poor flowers more. Butterflies crooned around them, bumblebees thought, ‘Why not to create a dispute against those colorful creatures?’ Soon, it began. The subject was the right of honey. Rabbits and squirrels weren’t crazy like them, they calmly shared the grass and guavas, playing hide and seek around the tree-holes. Someone turned on the radio, symphony sprang from there and explored the aura: 

In the whirls of the spring, 

The aroma of the night-queen, 

Where does the intoxication of the festival

Takes me away? Maybe, it’s another season’s arrival.......

As the song played, with its rhythm, the purple-haired girl swung from the swing, holding its ropes and splaying her legs together in the air, joint. The cadence of her laughter was sweeter than the voices of the singing nightingales. She looked right, seeing her navy-haired crush rotating his kendo stick and wheeling on his ankles like a real samurai. Her eyes were on him but his eyes were somewhere else, on the fabric mat where the brunette was sitting and arranging the dishes cooked by herself. Sweets, sandwiches, juice, burgers.....Tyson couldn’t remove his eyes from the dishes. That’s why, he was practicing more to increase his hunger-so that he could eat more. Right under a nearby tree, the dwarf redhead-who was known as Daichi Sumeragi among the gang, was chewing a ripe banana but it was only an appetizer for him. 

Arranging the dishes, Hilary looked at the birthday boy who was sitting a bit far away from them, on a green wooden bench. Right by him, the radio was playing the song. At another side, his pet dog and faithful companion, Hanna was wagging her tail, pointing her tongue out. As the hand of the dual-haired boy reached her head to give her a pat, his eyes went towards the brunette. Rubies met amethysts, the formers automatically got lowered in shyness. The captain silently chuckled at that. 

“Attention!” Hilary stood up, clapping after she had placed the well-decorated, home-made black forest cake at the center, “All the arrangements for the birthday of our leader have been done!” 

Called, everyone gathered at the center. Daichi and Tyson’s eyes glimmered in excitement as the latter blasted, “OMG! Such a grand celebration!” 

“Hurrah!” All the young people squealed in joy. Kai gave a thankful and contented stare at the brunette; she again smiled bashfully. 

“Boom!” 

Shattering the joyful ambiences into pieces, somewhere, there exploded a bomb, sending some black smokes above along with splashing some sand. The five-membered team gasped but the youngest girl didn’t lose her cool. Placing the binocular at her eyes which was hanging from her neck, she viewed the scene behind the happening. Her elder sister neared her, “What happened, Dew?” 

“A guy in black overcoat, black hat,” Dew described, “Ran away in a black car. K...Kai....” 

She didn’t have to finish her sentence. Kai ran forward, leading the team. Tyson leapt from the branch of the tree which he’d climbed for viewing everything, dodging a twig heroically. Dew, Hilary, Daichi followed them both. Even Hanna was not out of the list. 

Which adventure was calling them? 

................................................................................................................................

“Five investigators”, my new work. Coming....not so soon in fanfiction.net. Kai Hiwatari, Hilary Tachibana, Tyson Granger, Dew Tachibana and Daichi Sumeragi are coming to thrill the readers with their blood-freezing adventures and investigations. Are you all ready?? 

[purplesurveys]

1111

Something a little bit random and silly for my 1111th, just because.

survey by joybucket

List three things you love that start with each letter.

A: Art and most forms of it; anchovies, in most cases; and Angela.

B: Burgers, Beyoncé, and buffets.

E: Escargot, the name Eloise, and elephants.

F: FISH, Friends, and some folk indie.

S: Sleeping, signing off work at the end of my shift, and all kinds of seafood.

T: I’m obsessed with tteokbokki; trying out new food; and table tennis.

Q: I like the quiet time I occasionally give myself; quail eggs, especially in the form of kwek-kwek; and quattro formaggi pizza.

R: Rainbows, the rain, and riding planes.

O: Old movies, the ocean, and Okinawa milk tea.

List a phrase including an adjective, noun, and verb for each letter. Examples: "angry artist anticipating", "rude rascals running", "dirty dogs dancing", or "empty elephants eloping." Have fun!

A: Adorable animals appearing.

F: Fabulous fingers frolicking.

C; Chummy classmates cooking.

S: Suspicious self salivating.

R: Rambunctious raccoon running.

T: Tired turnip tumbling.

Q; Questioning quail quipping.

J: Joyful joggers jamming.

I: Inquisitive igloos imagining.

L: Luxurious lemonade luminescing.

Z: Zesty zebras zoning out.

E: Ethereal eagles embracing.

List three different occupations starting with each letter.

O: Orthodontist, oceanographer, opthalmologist.

E: Engineer, equestrienne, elementary school teacher.

F: Firefighter, flight attendant, farmer.

S: Scientist, singer, seamstress.

T: Talent agent, tricycle driver, tennis player.

I: Illustrator, inspector, IT technician.

E: Economist, editor, electrician.

L: Lawyer, librarian, lifeguard.

A: Accountant, actor, architect.

Y: Yoga instructor, youth pastor, yogurt maker?? if that counts, lol. Otherwise I got nothing else.

List three adjectives that begin with each letter.

A: Affable, abrupt, adequate.

B: Broken, blunt, bleary.

C: Crazy, clear, clingy.

D: Daunting, delirious, dark.

E: Existential, enraged, exemplary.

F: Fantastic, far-flung, flavorful.

G: Ghastly, gentle, gigantic.

H: Harrowing, healthy, hopeful.

I: Intelligent, identical, impervious.

J: Jovial, jaded, joyous.

List three nouns that being with each letter.

K: Kangaroo, keychain, kiwi.

L: Lemonade the album, lemon the fruit, and Liz Lemon.

M: Mall, maple syrup, and mop.

N: Nightingale, nest, napkin.

O: Ogre, olive, orange.

P: Piano, panini, and pizza.

Q: Queen, quill, quilt.

List three verbs that begin with each letter.

R: Running, raking, reliving.

S: Singing, sailing, surfing.

T: Tricking, tossing, teeming.

U: Understanding, urging, unwrapping.

V: Villifying, venerating, vaccinating - get vaccinated, folks.

W: Wandering, washing, wriggling.

X: I don’t know if there are any and I can’t bother to look it up.

Y: Yawning, yelling, yearning.

Z: Zipping, ziplining, zapping.

List three...

girl's names you love: Olivia, Mia, Emma.

boy’s names you love: Mason, Jacob, Lucas.

girl’s names you dislike: Karen, and our local versions of Karen, Marites and Marivic.

boy’s names you dislike: Chad, times three.

things you hate about summer things you hate about winter things you hate about spring things you hate about fall things you love about spring things you love about winter things you love about fall things you love about summer Crossing these out because my Southeast Asian ass can’t relate, but if you do decide to take this survey feel free to un-strikethrough them!

things you miss from your past: Having more freedom to make mistakes; not having to worry about the future; and friends I’ve since lost.

people who have really hurt you in the past: Gabie, my mom, Marielle.

names of people you have had crushes on: Gabie, Andi from 5th grade...and that’s it, really.

names of people you have gone on a date with: Only Gabie. And I guess maybe Mike? Since he asked me to go with him to his ball as his date.

places you've been and would love to go again: Sagada, Jeju, Bali.

places you want to visit before you die: Morocco, Spain, Thailand.

items on your bucket list: See Times Square, live in a condo, plan a solo trip.

health conditions you have: Scoliosis, lactose intolerance, and very possible depression.

health conditions you've had in the past but don't anymore: Dehydration, UTI, and some kind of weird low-platelet-count thing that was just that, and never diagnosed as anything.

things you are allergic to: Possibly some types of grass, and maybe face masks. Idk how to confirm it really; I just know my skin gets irritated around them sometimes.

youtube channels you love to watch: Good Mythical Morning; the KBS YouTube channel mainly for clips of Return of Superman and 2 Days 1 Night; and Binging With Babish.

favorite drinks: Water, coffee, Long Island Iced Tea.

favorite foods: Sushi, chicken wings, pizza.

favorite desserts: Cheesecake, MACARONS, cupcakes.

favorite holidays: The only one I care for and get super excited about is my birthday, if that counts. Christmas is fine, but I only get the excitement for it on the actual day itself.

favorite colors: Pastel pink, white, maroon.

people you would like to meet: Ysa and Bea, my teammates at work. I’ve met them only once before, and I wish we can be allowed to report to the workplace physically soon so that I get to see them more often and strengthen my relationship (both working and personal) with them. I’d also love to be able to chat and chill with Hayley Williams even for just 30 seconds.

people you want to meet in Heaven: I don’t believe in that, but I’d love to have met my great-grandfather on my maternal grandfather’s side. Also, Audrey Hepburn and Princess Diana.

good names for a dog or cat: Depends on their personality.

reasons why you get up each morning and keep on living: Because I’ve been able to see myself get better, and why stop all the progress?; because I’d want to be able see if the future will get better; and because I’m afraid of what will happen to/who will look out for my dogs if I’m suddenly gone.

For each name, think of three people you know with that name, and list their occupations.

Amanda: I only know one Amanda, and she’s a friend of my ex’s younger sister. She’s only in senior year of high school. I know an Amandine which is close enough I suppose?? and she’s a dentistry student.

Sarah: She’s a media contact and I’m constantly in touch with; she’s the editor-in-chief of a local magazine. I think she’s the only Sarah I know.

Ashley: Also a media contact. I’m not sure about her title, though.

Beth: @bionic-beth is a teacher! :) But I don’t know any Beths in real life, I think.

Katie: Well I know Kate, and I’ll sometimes playfully call her Katie. She works in a government agency and she’s one of their PR people. The HR person who recruited me to come work at my current employer is a Kate, but I have never and have no plans to call her Katie.

Matt: That’s too foreign-sounding a name where I live.

Emily: Don’t know any Emilys, either.

Chris: Media contacts. They run blogs or news sites of their own.

Mike/Michael: The one Mike I know is currently a med student. Not sure if he’s working on the side - I think he is, since I saw him post about a job update on his Facebook a few months ago; but I can no longer remember what he does, or if he’s still doing it.

Jessica: I went to high school with a girl named Jessica but I don’t follow her on social media, so I have no clue what she’s up to now.

Becca/Bekah: Rita’s sister is a Becca. I think she is currently a grad student.

For each name, think of three people you know, and list one adjective to describe each person. (Skip if you don't know anyone with that name.)

Laura

Michelle: Hilarious.

Victoria: Strong.

Tessa: Friendly.

John

Claire: Influential; motherly.

Briana/Brianna: Bitch.

Vanessa

Brittany/Britney, etc.

Allison/Allie/Ally, etc: Kind. 

Olivia

Jordan

Jo/Joe: Ambitious; pretty.

Corey/Kori

Sophie: Sweet; quiet.

Mitch/Mitchell: Tall.

Madison/Maddie/Maddi

Out of all the people you know or have met, list three...

redheads: Yeah, you’re not going to find them in most of Asia. West Asia and some parts of East Asia, probably, but definitely not for the rest.

tall people: Jo, Chesca, and Shaun.

people with really curly hair: I know Kleo has naturally curly hair from her Aeta roots, but it’s been straightened for a very long time now. I think Chesca also has curly hair, albeit slightly. There is also Liana.

sets of twins: My sister had two sets of twins in her high school batch, but I can no longer remember their names. I also had an English class with a pair of twins named Ardy and Thirdy.

of the cutest babies you've seen on social media: My workmate’s baby. My friend Jar has a super squishy niece/nephew pair of twins as well.

people you miss: Angela, Kate, my grandpa.

people with beautiful eyes: I can only think of my ex.

people with nice hair: God I have not been around people for so long, I can barely think of anyone for this.

people who are the same height as you: Aya, Hannah, Tina.

own one of the same clothing items as you: Angela since we went to the same high school and have several of the same school shirts; Laurice since we share a college org and we have our own trademark polo shirt; and my brother and I have our own pairs of Nike Cortez shoes.

make you laugh: Andi, Hans, and this girl I had a couple of history classes with, Rose.

List three celebrities who...

are the same height as you: Lady Gaga and AJ Lee are the only ones who are coming to mind. I wouldn’t call AJ a celebrity though.

have the same hair color as you: Mila Kunis, Kelly Rowland, Dita Von Teese.

look like you: Only based on comments I’ve gotten in the past and not because I necessarily claim these for myself, Lucy Hale, Anna Akana, and Kakie.

List three....

adjectives to describe you: Timid, stubborn, sensitive.

academic courses you enjoyed: Philippine social history, international relations, anthropology.

words you always forget how to spell: Rhythm, committee, accommodate.

things you wish you were better at: Singing, dancing, drawing.

things you are really good at: Writing, reading people, and knowing the best things to order at most restaurants hahahah.

jobs you'd like to have: Ideally, a lawyer or doctor. But realistically, I’d love to have a leadership position in the PR sphere.

jobs you've considered having: ^ Again, lawyer and doctor. Also a journalist or news anchor, back when I still thought I was passionate about journalism.

jobs you'd hate: Journalist, an LTO clerk, an assistant to an asshole celebrity.

things you miss: Being a student, many parts of the past, and deceased family members.

names your mom considered when naming you: Ariel, Kathleen, Katrina.

things people call you: Robyn, Byn, Bynbyn.

*Bonus*: what is your name? (first and middle)? I always feel like just sharing Robyn.

[fuwafuwagem]

Throwballs and baskets (Zen x Gemma)

(Hey! I meant to write something little for you when I heard that your ex was being a prick. Enjoy!)

"And then we went to Bu... to Ulsan!" you quickly corrected yourself.

I'm going to a press conference in Busan tomorrow. - Zen had told everyone yesterday in the chatroom. Today you had went to Busan to do whatever with your buddy-pal. Zen had not been a part of your plans.

You had become careful around the man named Zen. Just a month ago you had joined RFA. On the same day you had met him over your balcony in the third floor. 

It had been all like - Do you wish to continue being familiar with me from now on? It would be nice to hear you call me Zen. Wait! Are you the Zen I just met in the chatroom? What?... Are you- are you Gemma?!

Surprising exchange of words had caused you two to be in friendly terms with each other from the start. You hadn't met again on the balcony, but during the first and only time there Zen had made it to suggest that you came to visit his apartment someday. After that you had talked in the chatroom and found something humorous about the whole balcony scene over and over again. You had talked to each other in a warm and consistent  manner. 

After realizing that you hadn't been talking to him through RFA chatroom for two weeks, you started to try to be invisible to him whenever you went to get something from your own apartment. You continued to sleep mostly in your friend's apartment or somewhere else for next two weeks. Not because of Zen, but because of the escape-instinct that consumed you in your apartment. 

Zen still played a stranger's role in your life. You tried to keep the polite distance, tried to not get you both in an awkward situation after your comfortable conversations in the chat had drifted away. You still did you work in RFA and took part to the off-topic conversations from time to time, but kept in your mind that you hadn't brought up your interest in visiting Zen's apartment after he had clearly left the decision for you to make. His pride had been probably already hurt. 

Today you had gone to hang out with your friend to the downtown in Busan and avoided Zen's press conference there. After all the fun in the city you two had headed back to your pal's house, watched some crazy movie there and then hopped back in your friend's car around 8 pm. Your pal had dropped you off next to your apartment, just like you had planned earlier.

You had prepared youself to spend time in your own apartment again. At least for one night, which would hopefully turn into a successful streak of effortlessly handled nights. 

This time you hadn't avoided windows. You had taken a shower, made yourself something warm to drink. Sometime around nine a'clock you decided to step to your balcony.

Zen had been alone, leaning against his own balcony rail.

--

"And after karaoke you went to eat, right?" Zen asked.

"No, we didn't. We went back to (Y/F/N)'s home and buried ourselves into our own theories about how this one absolutely lunatic movie that we chose to watch would end."

"Who was right - you or (Y/F/N)?"

"Neither. All of the side plots where thrown out of window, main plot was completely forgotten and the ending was overall impossible to understand."

"Despite that it seems like you did not feel too upset? Am I right?"

"You are, you are! I had to laugh - otherwise it would have been too tough to tolerate all that madness during the movie! So in the end I felt quite spent and giddy."

"Ah~ I knew it. Good. You must have eaten something in (Y/F/N)'s house, before or after the movie?"

"Actually we did not. We then got on the road and drove here, like two shameless robbers in the night! I mean, it felt like we were doing something suspicious, driving at so late and speeding a lot."

"Hey! Please tell me that you grabbed something to eat on your way here!"

"Yes, we did stop at a drive-through before coming to neighbourhood. It felt like only an instantly served meal could fix our empty stomachs at that point after all."

"Haha! Thank god~ It could have been good for you two to have someone less extreme with you to remind when it was time to eat. Well, did you eat enough?"

"More like did I eat too much. I ordered a giant burger and I STILL feel heavy."

Zen felt reminded of all the distant activities Gemma had created for herself. He thought about the new Gemma he had just heard of, about Gemma who had surrendered to the thrill of speed on the highway, far from home. He had heard about the Gemma who had eaten too much fast-food, because she didn't come to her apartment to make herself a healthy meal. 

She talked about her restless day like it was natural for her. It had become a habit for her to not stay long in chatroom or her apartment for these two weeks. To not stay long anywhere where Zen knew he could find her. 

Zen didn't feel betrayed, only anxious to see her slip away. He had become friendly strangers with Gemma in the chatroom and respectful neighbours in the real life. Friendship (and his attraction for her was there too) had been forming between him and the new girl.

After two weeks she had become distant and disappeared from her apartment in real life. Zen had felt quiet and confused. He was hopeful, but grew accustomed to the lifeless apartment.

Today Gemma had come back. It had happened without a warning. Suddenly Zen had felt a need to be on alert, to keep anything from driving Gemma away from her apartment again. He was surprised to see the girl take her place back and wanted to see her presence to become consistent.

"Well anyways, I think that I'll retire for the night", Gemma said, raising her voice. She turned away, but stopped when she saw the empty clothesline between their balconies. Oh, she must have thought about...

"Did you take my clothes off from the line?"

"Oh, yeah! I did! They are right here, I piled them on top of my washing machine", Zen exclaimed, pushing himself away from the balcony rail. He had felt like saving Gemma's laundry last time he had been retrieving his own clothes from the clothesline.

"Okay", Gemma retorted, luckily not getting mad. "Maybe I'll come to get them in few days..." she hesitated.

Joyful feeling rushed through Zen's veins. He was shocked.

She was promising that his invitation would be accepted in the future!

He was smiling. His eyes were wide open and a hopeful sigh escaped his lips like a whisper. He bent forward, grabbing the balcony rail... but Gemma was already reaching for the knob of the her balcony door. She wasn't leaving him empty-handed however, and gave him a toothy smile over her shoulder. It was a smile that she had to give, and for that reason a little strained and heavy. But it was promising, and if Zen was right, apologetic.

He wondered why she suddenly began to struggle. Then it hit him that her balcony door just refused to open. 

--

"What did I do? I can't get in!" 

After trying the handle for a few more times, you let go of it carefully. While you were reluctant to touch the door anymore, Zen was able to address the situation.

"What? Did you get locked out? Did it really happen so easily?"

"Too bad that I didn't give you a spare key..." you said softly, not completely serious about it and on the other hand wishing nothing more than that Zen would have been able to let you in to your own apartment. You turned away from the door and faced Zen with a bitter-sweet look.

"Oh no, Gemma! I can't believe that this happened to you today! Just stay calm, we figure something out! Damn, I wish that you could just come over here..."

You probed the pockets of your bath robe. Ha! You had your phone. You looked forward to exposing this one nice fact to Zen, when the situation looked otherwise absolutely crappy for you. You still held your tongue, because it wouldn't help much if you would break down from your miserable and angry feelings first thing right after revealing the existing good facts.

"It is night..." you said, taking in the dark surroundings of your balcony. The air was already uncomfortably cold and you were just in your bathrobe.

"Why did this have to happen at this time... I hate to ask you, Zen, but I could have some more clothes on right now... It's pretty chilly to wait for help..."

"O-okay! I can handle that! It's the first step to get you be comfortable during this struggle! You are wearing... just a bathrobe, okay! Socks, pants and a sweater will do, right? I'm not saying that I won't bring more clothes right after that, but please let me take care of you! I don't want anything bad to happen, so you have to be safe when I come back!" 

You nodded, watching Zen step backwards over the threshold, one hand still motioning for you to stay calm. After that you lowered your eyes to the mug you had drank empty.

You reminded yourself that you were free to exit and enter your apartment as you wished. You were not trapped, you could leave the first thing tomorrow. You had other places you could go to. You had come here to try sleeping in your bed for one night, not to get suppressed by the familiar walls again. 

But man... you felt like an unwanted stranger in the building. Other residents might have catched on to that you had left your apartment basically empty for two weeks. After living only a year in the place, it wouldn't make you look reliable.

Just your luck. When you felt like you had something to explain for the public, you would have to call the fire department to get you down from your balcony in the middle of the night. It wouldn't go unnoticed.

When Zen came back, your attention was closely on the clothes he brought. You were glad to be curious about the set of clothing he brought instead of focusing on the dark pressure that was swarming in your mind. You were also pretending to not be shaking, making your movements rather stiff.

"Is that your Christmas sweater?" you asked, attempting to make the whole situation more comfortable for Zen, who was forced to act even though your problems didn't have to concern him.

"Oh, yeah! Did you recognize it from the pictures I sent to the chatroom?" Zen recalled his selfies with a glad tone. He was looking over the distance between your balconies. He would have to throw the clothes over that leap. 

You nodded and focused on the solid image of the bright-colored sweater with fluffy cuffs. It was something nice, something to focus on. You held your hands out and watched Zen's face brighten up. He hurried to place the pile of clothing on a table next to him and rolled the sweater in his hands to resemble a ball.

He threw it and the ball landed safely on your balcony. Then came pants, and socks after that. You thanked him and reassured him about the lack of underwear, after all he did not have any bra or panties in his house. He volunteered to get a pair of his boxers for you, but you assure him that you would just put on the pants and sweater without anything underneath. 

Then, just after you'd had him throw you clothes in the dark, you had to ask him to keep from looking when you dressed yourself up.

"I guess that I'll put these on now..." you said, and Zen got the cue right away.

"Righ, o-of course! I'll face the windows for a moment", he said, turning around. A lean, white-haired man standing on his balcony in the darkest hour, struggling to act right. Helping a stranger, his neighbour, who had created for themselves one of the most inconvenient problems a neighbour could have. 

On the terms of politeness, this was a tiresome moment in the impractical social interaction between you two. Zen was giving more than you could return. You were pretty sure that it was considered as unbalanced pressure and wanted to show Zen some sympathy. 

"Why did I have to choose this day to come back?" you moaned while you pulled the Christmas sweater over your head. You used the same tone you had used when you had expressed your regret over the unused spare key.

You focused on the softness of the sweater instead of the nagging voice in your head and felt the scared shaking start to exit your muscles. It was much easier to keep Zen from witnessing your anxiety now. Then you put on the pants and after that the socks, feeling the shaking tone down and becoming less than what it had previously been every new second. 

"It's all fine, you can turn around", you told Zen without raising your voice. When he turned to face you, you held your phone up for him to see.

"Look, I have my phone! The fire apartment should be here soon..." you said, starting to press the number you had found from the internet in your phone. 

"Oh, that's cool! Are you sure you want to call them so soon...?" Zen asked, but you already had the phone on your ear and pressed a finger on your lips. 

After wrestling for a few minutes with the people on the other end of the line, you lowered the device from your ear and looked at Zen. 

"They will be here in fifteen minutes."

"Don't mind them. They are only so stiff because of the amount of arsons and wildfires they have to deal with constantly. They have forgotten how to deal with people who have other problems than fire", Zen symphatized with you.

"Fortunately you have a point there... You know just what to say", you responded and leaned your elbows against the rail of your balcony. Zen copied you.

"Now I'll just have to wait for fifteen minutes", you said and yawned. It was cold and you were wearing other person's clothes after a long day. You felt drained.

"I'll wait with you", Zen retorted. He gave you a reliable look when you raised your eyebrows. "But it seems like you are too tired to hold a conversation, so we have to figure out some other way to spend time. Oh, and you would probably like some more clothes, a scarf maybe? Let me get them for you." 

"You really don't have to..."

Zen was already half out of the door.

"You don't have to regret coming here today."

Suddenly you held your gaze in Zen's eyes. Zen was standing still, his palm against the doorframe. He gave you a small, determined grin.

"Come to get your clothes soon, tomorrow or on the day after that. We can have a cup of coffee over your laundry."

It was nice to respond to that.

"What, you are not throwing me my clothes from your balcony?" you teased, placing your head on your palm. 

"You have a point..." Zen pondered, smiling sweetly. "Or maybe I should put some kind of basket hanging from the rope? I could put your laundry in that and push it over to you", he suggested playfully.

You laughed

"No, I think that I'll keep my right to refrain from throwing the clothes over from the balcony", Zen chuckled. "You are coming over, right?" he asked, his mouth hanging slightly open in question. 

"Yeah. I think that I can manage that", you answered, smiling easily at him.

[janebennetts]

things have changed for me

This is nowhere near as good as the perfection from @jiilys and @alrightpotter but this was still super fun to write.

AO3

James Potter to but does Buzzfeed know which friends character it is in five random questions: approximately how many jelly beans are too many

James Potter: because I bought all of the bags in the store

Sirius Black: enough to fill a car?

James Potter: I think it’ll be enough to fill Claire

Sirius Black: “riding claire” wasn’t even funny the first time prongs

Remus Lupin: wouldn’t it be “riding in claire”??

Sirius Black: #exposed

James Potter: #blocked

Peter Pettigrew to i’m lizzie bennet and sirius black is way hotter than darcy: I don’t think this is going to work

Peter Pettigrew: and even if it does, will people even watch it?

Sirius Black: people watched it on the middle

Remus Lupin: you’re the only person on earth who watches the middle

James Potter: does anyone even watch our regular videos

Peter Pettigrew: true

James Potter to Lily Evans: you coming to help film?

Lily Evans: nope

James Potter: :(

Lily Evans: pathetic

Lily Evans: of course I’m coming to help

Lily Evans: I wanna get my hands on some peach jelly beans

James Potter: they’re gonna be stuck to the other jelly beans

James Potter: (if this works)

Lily Evans: peach jelly beans with obstacles

Sirius Black to but isn’t james potter more of a state of mind: prongs way

Peter Pettigrew: ???

Sirius Black: where are you

Sirius Black: duh

Remus Lupin: remember when you texted like a human being

Sirius Black: nope

Remus Lupin: me neither

Sirius Black to WAY PRONGS: srsly jim way

Remus Lupin: we’re standing here around a car looking like idiots

Sirius Black: u always look like an idiot

Peter Pettigrew: guys we’re right next to each other

Peter Pettigrew: you can just say ur dumb insults to each other’s faces

James Potter: sry m8s I picked Lily up and she wanted to stop for lunch

Sirius Black: oooooooh

Sirius Black: ooooOOOOOHHHH

James Potter: not like that

James Potter: we just had tacos

Peter Pettigrew: oooOOOOOH

Peter Pettigrew: dang it

Peter Pettigrew: im too late

James Potter: better luck making fun of me next time pete

Lily Evans to James Potter: I can’t believe those jelly beans actually melted and stuck to the car

James Potter: I can’t believe you ripped a chunk off and started eating it

James Potter: thanks for filming, by the way

Lily Evans: just call me Freddie Benson💋

James Potter to Sirius Black: she sent me a kiss emoji

James Potter: what do u think that means

Sirius Black: maybe she meant to hit another emoji

Sirius Black: like the nose bc u stink

Sirius Black: idk ask Remus

James Potter added Remus Lupin to the chat

Remus Lupin: christ

Remus Lupin: its like three am

Remus Lupin: i need my beauty sleep

Sirius Black: its not working

Peter Pettigrew to not like that, we just had tacos: WE’RE ON BUZZFEED

James Potter: ??!!!

Peter Pettigrew sent a link to These Crazy Hilarious YouTubers Filled A Car with Jelly Beans to See If They Would Melt

Sirius Black: they called us “crazy hilarious”

Remus Lupin: a woman in the comments said “they get paid to do this?” though so I wouldn’t say we’re famous yet

Peter Pettigrew: if we got paid to do this I wouldn’t have to work at starbucks

James Potter to i’m sorry for being right, sirius: i’m adding Lily to the chat  

Sirius Black: this is moving fast

Sirius Black named the chat JAMES POTTER WETS THE BED

James Potter named the chat WELCOME EVANS

Remus Lupin named the chat stop

Remus Lupin: come up with some better jokes padfoot

James Potter named the chat Group Chat

James Potter added Lily Evans to the chat

Lily Evans: wait

Lily Evans: why is ur chat name “group chat”

Lily Evans: who does that???

Lily Evans named the chat Freaks and Geeks

Sirius Black: i like her already

Lily Evans to James Potter: uggggghhhh

Lily Evans: talk to me

James Potter: bout what?

Lily Evans: anything other than vernon dursley

James Potter: whales have no sweat glands

Lily Evans: fascinating

Lily Evans: gotta go eat with the fam

Lily Evans: i’ll take a swig of wine every time vernon says “actually”

James Potter: you’ll die in five minutes

Lily Evans: make sure they bury me in prada

Lily Evans to James Potter: i habve a new pshilosophy

Lily Evans: ill flip a coin dfor every desicion so i don’t enmd up high strung like petunia  f

James Potter to Lily Evans: where are you

Lily Evans: crowns pub

James Potter: i’m coming to get you

Remus Lupin to Sirius Black: why was lily sleeping on our couch

Sirius Black: so thats what the unearthly screaming was

Sirius Black: did u sit on her or something

Remus Lupin: no

Remus Lupin: (yes)

Remus Lupin: i hadn’t had coffee yet

Remus Lupin: it was dark

Sirius Black: uv still gotten more action than James

Lily Evans to James Potter: thank u for picking me up

James Potter: don’t mention it

James Potter: i would have taken the couch, u know

Lily Evans: i know

Lily Evans to APRIL THE GIRAFFE HAS GIVEN BIRTH: guess who I just met

Sirius Black: no

Remus Lupin: i can literally hear u laughing from ur room padfoot

Remus Lupin: that was not remotely funny

Sirius Black: i’m being joyful

Sirius Black: u already look twenty years older than u are

Sirius Black: u wouldn’t if you laughed a little

James Potter: can we stay on topic pls

James Potter: who did you meet?

Lily Evans: so I flipped a coin to decide whether to get a burger or go out to lunch with Petunia

James Potter: that is an easy decision??? u didn’t need to flip a coin

Lily Evans: but it worked out

Lily Evans: I went to lunch with Petunia

Lily Evans: (it was so fancy)

Lily Evans: and I met some YouTube exec who said they needed some “good, cleancut kids” to make videos and work with them and stuff

Sirius Black: and you didn’t lead with this?!

James Potter: excellent job lil!

Remus Lupin to Sirius Black: so he’s already calling her “lil”

Sirius Black: better than “lily evans, love of my life and future wife”

Remus Lupin: so what’s with the whole coin thing?

Sirius Black: jim said she went out to dinner with petunia and vernon, got smashed, and vowed to flip a coin for all her decisions

Sirius Black: and now she’s sober and is too stubborn to change her mind

Remus Lupin: already calling him “jim”, huh?

Sirius Black: ours is a forbidden love

Peter Pettigrew to WE HAVE NO IDEAS: so what are we going to do for our pitch

James Potter: look at the name of the chat

Peter Pettigrew: but we have to come up with something

Remus Lupin: he’s right

Sirius Black: how about “girl decides to flip a coin for every decision”

Lily Evans: exploitation

Lily Evans: i like it

James Potter to Lily Evans: so come over around seven so we can start filming

Lily Evans: I flipped a coin and it says eight

James Potter: flip that coin and see if you’d like to come to dinner with me

James Potter: (but like, only if you want to)

James Potter to Remus Lupin: REMUS WHAT HAVE I DONE

James Potter sent Remus Lupin a picture

James Potter: she’s going to think im some “nice guy” who thinks he deserves sex just bc they’re friends

Remus Lupin: james, chill

Remus Lupin: tbh that might be better than her first impression of you

Lily Evans to James Potter: I don’t need a coin for that decision ;)

Lily Evans: pick me up in twenty?

James Potter: sounds like a plan

James Potter to Remus Lupin: YES

James Potter to Sirius Black: YES

James Potter to Peter Pettigrew: YES

Remus Lupin to I’m not a regular buzzkill, I’m a cool buzzkill: hey, we’re ready to go

Remus Lupin: Sirius has literally poured a pot of coffee into his mouth

Sirius Black: its true, i did

Lily Evans: we’re on our way

Sirius Black to Peter Pettigrew and Remus Lupin: “we’re on our way”

Peter Pettigrew: WE’RE

Remus Lupin: can we be mature about this

Remus Lupin: lol just kidding james must be freaking out

Sirius Black: wonder if they’re gonna tell us?

Peter Pettigrew: idk be cool

James Potter to are you driving a snail? it’s been twenty minutes: we’re pulling in

Lily Evans: we brought bagels!

Sirius Black to WITHOUT JAMES: she is wearing HiS SoCKs

Remus Lupin: they can’t possibly think we don’t know

Peter Pettigrew: omg

Remus Lupin: we should probably act surprised when they tell us

Sirius Black: what is right

Sirius Black: what is wrong

Sirius Black: i don’t know anymore

Remus Lupin: chill

Remus Lupin: I can see sweat dripping down your face

Peter Pettigrew: don’t u think they see us texting under the table

Lily Evans changed the chat name to why are we texting

Lily Evans: are you guys taking a vow of silence

Lily Evans: james already filmed a bit of me flipping the coin to decide my outfit and what to get for breakfast

Lily Evans: maybe my next decision should be deciding whether we should have an actual conversation

Peter Pettigrew: their on to us

Peter Pettigrew: oops I didn’t send that to anyone

Peter Pettigrew: haha

Lily Evan to remus we’re out of biscuits: alright, I finished editing our video!

James Potter: you angel

James Potter: too good for me

Lily Evans: I know

Lily Evans: I’ll get it ready to present to the YouTube exec too

Remus Lupin: thanks Lily

Remus Lupin to WE HAVE BEEN OUT OF BISCUITS FOR THREE DAYS: we need to talk about our pitch

Remus Lupin: more specifically, what we’re wearing

Remus Lupin: bc sirius, you did not need to order me seventeen boxes of clothes

Remus Lupin: james, you did not need to send me twenty pairs of shoes and fifteen watches

James Potter: we’re like robin hood

James Potter: except without the stealing

Lily Evans to James Potter: the pitch is at four, could you swing by my house about two hours before

Lily Evans: its more fun getting ready when there’s someone with you

Lily Evans: and then we’ll drive there together

James Potter: I’m starting to think you don’t know how to drive

Lily Evans: I do

Lily Evans: I just prefer going with you

Peter Pettigrew to never gonna give you up: that went well?

Remus Lupin: surprisingly

James Potter: I think we got the job?

Peter Pettigrew: MONEYYYYYYYYYY

Sirius Black: greed is a sin pete

Remus Lupin: says the man who actually tried to create a swimming pool of money

Lily Evans: drinks on me!

Sirius Black to are u sure u still want to pay, lily?: u guys have been on like two dates

Sirius Black: u don’t have to act married

James Potter: it’s called being in love

James Potter: u should try it sometime

Lily Evans: you’re in love with me?

James Potter: oh no

James Potter: shit

James Potter: I did NOT mean that

Lily Evans: you didn’t?

Lily Evans: that’s a shame, because I’m pretty in love with you

Sirius Black: gross

[lisacongo2-blog]

‘Shrill’ Shreds Hollywood Stereotypes About How Women of Size Eat

The first time you see Annie, the protagonist of the new Hulu show Shrill, eating, her meal doesn’t look particularly pleasant. Played by SNL cast member Aidy Bryant, Annie grabs a plastic container from the fridge, opening it to reveal three white disks — supposedly pancakes — from a Tupperware labeled “Thin Menu.” While standing in her kitchen, she tries to break off a slab, puts it in her mouth, and wrinkles her nose in disgust. Her roommate, Fran (played by Lolly Adefope), walks by to witness the three doughy pucks, and says, “Good God.”

It’s not the only time Annie eats in her kitchen. Later in the series, Bryant opens a sealed container of leftover spaghetti, standing alone over an island near the sink. She twirls noodles around her fork, grinning in anticipation. She looks confident, blissed out, holding her hand under her chin as a noodle inches toward her lips. She scrunches her eyebrows and crinkles her nose, the perfect opposite of her look of disgust eating the Thin Meal pancakes. She nods and smiles while chewing, enjoying the moment.

The annals of TV are full of stories where women change themselves, from Mad Men’s Peggy Olsen to Eleanor Shellstrop in The Good Place. But Shrill, the six-episode adaptation of writer Lindy West’s memoir of the same name, is a different kind of “transformation” story, starring a woman of size. The show tells the story of Annie, a Portland-based calendar editor for an alt-weekly newspaper, trying to jump start her career, earn the love of Ryan, a painfully oblivious loser, and become a more honest, self-assured person. What Shrill is not is a story of body transformation, of a fat woman getting thin. Although it shows Annie eating diet meals and exercising with her mother, her real goal goes beyond the universal challenge of self-acceptance — she wants to feel powerful, as a woman of size and simply as a woman. She wants to demand respect from the people around her.

Those people often fat-shame Annie, whether it’s her obsessive online troll, her perpetually sneering editor, or an invasive personal trainer who eventually devolves into calling her a “fat bitch.” Still, Annie’s relationship with her body is more nuanced. Her insecurities are more often portrayed in physical details or unspoken interpersonal choices she makes because she feels that, in her words, “there’s a certain way that your body’s supposed to be and I’m not that.”

In media where a woman’s relationship with her body plays its own role, the eating scenes are telling. There are countless movies in which women devour ice cream during break-ups or lonely moments. And for years, when a person of size ate on screen, it was portrayed as comic relief, from Melissa McCarthy consuming a napkin in Spy to a cross-dressing Chris Farley on Saturday Night Live inhaling his friend’s french fries while asking, “Can I have some?”

Even in shows and movies celebrated for their representations of non-normative bodies, eating is reserved for emotional distress. In HBO’s Girls, Hannah Horvath (played by Lena Dunham) is often caught eating during low moments, like when she eats cake with her hands after her purse is stolen on the train. In Real Women Have Curves, it takes a conflict with her mother to get the protagonist, Ana (America Ferrera), to eat a bite of flan in a moment of overall positive defiance. Rarely do women of size get the opportunity to eat happily on screen without some tumult, some churning emotional hang-ups or interpersonal conflict. The exception, of course, is when people of size are shot eating healthy foods, like when the contestants on The Biggest Loser marvel over turkey burgers. But if a not-thin character is caught eating a cupcake, the audience is meant to laugh or cry at their expense.

When Annie eats so-called “indulgent” foods in Shrill, she’s not considered a failure, and it’s not used as a comic device. Instead, it’s often tied to a moment of personal or thematic triumph completely unrelated to her weight. By simply showing Annie eating the foods countless people love in a way that’s empowering, Shrill reinforces the idea that people, regardless of size, have the right to enjoy food in its entirety — not just salads and apples and other pious things, but rather the foods that are seen as permissibly comforting and luxurious for people of a smaller size. Like last year’s hit culinary travel show Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat, Hulu’s new series rewrites the rules for who gets to enjoy food on television.

Annie isn’t the only big millennial woman eating spaghetti on TV. In a scene on Girls, Hannah grabs handfuls of noodles from a takeout box, dangling them into her open mouth. There is an element of watching this scene that feels relatable, especially for anyone who lives alone, but nothing about that moment is sexy or empowering. At its best, it’s a moment of comic relief born out of universality; at its worst, it’s Dunham’s self-ridiculing humor shaming herself — and other women — for eating without control while not thin.

This is far from the only moment when a woman eating sugary, greasy, and otherwise “bad” foods on television works as a boiler-plate scene representing rock bottom. In her essay “Why is it sad and lonely women who turn to chocolate?” Telegraph culture writer Rebecca Hawkes recalls similar moments in romantic comedies, like when Renee Zellweger devours chocolates under a blanket in Bridget Jones’s Diary, or when Sandra Bullock turns to ice cream in Miss Congeniality. “When you look at the trope in more detail, the implication is that eating chocolate is something ‘naughty,’” she writes. “It’s something that (calorie-counting, figure-obsessed) women shouldn’t be doing, but can’t help resorting to in moments of extreme trauma — or simply due to a comedic lack of discipline.” In her essay, Hawkes also brings up another classic plus-sized person comically shamed and punished for their gluttony: Augustus Gloop, the rotund little boy in Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory, presumably killed for wanting to eat some of the chocolate in a literal river of chocolate — as if anyone wouldn’t.

Ryan (Luka Jones) and Annie (Aidy Bryant)

Photo: Allyson Riggs/Shrill

But still, beyond little boys, beyond thin ladies, it’s plus-size women whose eating is most often used as a thematic example of a psychological and/or personal failure, whether it’s comical or supposedly tragic. “With any overweight, unruly woman, there’s always a tendency to pathologize their relationship with food,” says Kathleen Rowe Karlyn, author of The Unruly Woman: Gender and the Genres of Laughter. “[For] women who dive in to the quart of ice cream or the box of chocolate, food is a source of comfort because life is not giving them other types of comfort.”

If women get fat as a plot device, they’re often shown eating something like pizza, ice cream, chocolate, or other sweets — take, for example, Goldie Hawn gorging herself on frosting post-breakup in Death Becomes Her. If a character appears to get them out of a slump, a chicken wing might be yanked out of their hands. And they won’t reach personal fulfillment until they’re skinny again. Meanwhile, women who are thin and confident — whether it’s Drew Barrymore in Charlie’s Angels, or the titular Gilmore Girls — are free to eat as much as they please, to the delight of all who watch them.

Annie didn’t originally eat the spaghetti. It was made by Fran’s brother, Lamar (Akemnji Ndifornyen), who spends the third episode, “Pencil,” visiting his sister and her roommate. For most of the first few episodes, Annie is busy obsessing over a man (Luka Jones) who is so embarrassed by her that he sends her out the back door of his apartment so his roommates can’t see her. On their first date, she eats a salad. When she arrives home after Ryan has stood her up, Lamar and Fran offer her the spaghetti. She turns it down.

Lamar, a chef, spends the episode quietly fawning over Annie. When he arrives, he gives her a box of chocolate turtles, an elaborate reference to a memory from their past. He lights up when she enters the room. And later, when she comes back after choosing not to see Ryan, he admits that he likes her, and that he always did. After they have sex, Annie tiptoes downstairs to the kitchen, where she finds the pasta he made. The scene is romantic and almost sexy, in a totally subtle, maybe even unintentional way. He didn’t make the pasta for her, specifically, but it was made by him.

But beyond the romantic arc of Annie and Lamar, the scene’s impact comes directly from what it means for her, in her path to self-respect: she’s giving herself what she wants and deserves, on her own terms. And the bewildered delight in her face as she eats is so contagiously joyful that the context of her weight becomes irrelevant.

Annie (Aidy Bryant) and Lamar (Akemnji Ndifornyen).

Photo by: Allyson Riggs/Shrill

Beyond the men in her life, one of Annie’s most fraught relationships is with her mother, Vera (played by Julia Sweeney), who’s responsible for the Thin Menu meals. During a pivotal rant, when Annie describes the ways the people around her have made her size seem like a moral failing, she says, “At this point, I could be a licensed fucking nutritionist because I’ve literally been training for it since the fourth grade, which is the first time that my mom said that I should just eat a bowl of Special K and not the dinner that she made for everyone else so I might be a little bit smaller.” One of Annie’s most significant plot developments with her mother, when she pushes back against her health policing, starts with a meal of meatball subs with her father. And when the season ends, we leave Vera lying on the ground with a bag of chips, suggesting that Annie’s number one advice giver also needs respite from controlling everything.

“Whether they’re very curvy like Mae West or they’re slender, I think what we haven’t seen in a long time is the ability of women just to be seen enjoying food,” Karlyn says. “Food is enjoyable (to women), not because they’re neurotic, not because they’re crazy, not because they’re sex-obsessed, just because food is a natural pleasure of life.” That’s how Shrill treats food, but also most of life’s joys: dancing at a party, swimming in a pool, having sex, being honest. Counter to the ways television and movies have previously presented plus-size women, as victims of their own lack of self-control, Shrill shows how restrictive life as a plus-size woman can be, and how often that’s a direct result of their self control. Shrill seems to be advocating for more self-designated freedom for women of size — the freedom to live with abandon. As Annie says, lying in bed and taking charge, “I’ve got big titties and a fat ass — I make the rules.”

Brooke Jackson-Glidden is the editor of Eater Portland. Edited by: Greg Morabito

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Source: https://www.eater.com/2019/3/28/18284128/shrill-hulu-aidy-bryant-food-eating

[pathofsacredshe-blog]

Why I’m into Sacred Womanhood (and what that means)

Dear sister, 

I wasn’t always rubbing rose oil on my womb, crocheting yoni’s and meditating on the Divine Feminine. In fact, when I first became a woman I hated it. The path of what I label as Sacred Womanhood (i.e. Path of Sacred She) is a path that evolved over many years and for many different reasons. Today, I will share my journey of hating having a female body, finding my way through different feminist expressions, thinking I was a lesbian, then realizing I was not, to finally coming home to my inner Sacred She sanctuary.  

Photo courtesy Immortal Sol

I remember being 11 years old sitting huddled up in bed with my two best friends. We were whispering confidences to each other. We began talking about a new and strange and scary territory: periods. None of us had gotten it yet and we wondered what it would be like. I felt compelled to share my then most shameful secret. Hair had started growing in places where only adults had hair! I really, really hated this. My friends reassured me it was ok, and that it probably meant I would be getting my period soon. 

As my body became plumper and curvier I looked with envy on my flat, straight 6 year old sister. She was as happy and carefree as ever, not concerned with the horrors of womanhood lurking to catch hold of her one day. I did not want to go through this metamorphosis from girl to woman. The very word “woman”, which in my native language Swedish is kvinna, made me think of cows. Someone who is raised for milk and meat. 

Becoming a woman was a painful process and I think I spent at least 10 years of my life just trying to figure out how to exist and be happy in a woman’s body. 

Photo courtesy Cecilia Kreuzberger

My first watering hole came in the form of feminism when I was 14. Two female volunteers from Save the Children came to our school to start a girl’s group. The concept was called an Ellen Group. Only 7 girls signed up, and I was one of them. Besides having a space to just talk about the things that then concerned us - boys, looks, what we wanted to be when growing up - the two volunteers also encouraged us to think positively about our bodies and our yonis. I remember being in shock after learning the word ‘lubrication’. In sexual education we had learnt about erection, but no one had told us that something happened at all with us girls when we got aroused. That we could get aroused. That just as boys needed to have an erection in order for that thing called sex to work, so we needed to experience lubrication. I wanted to shout about it from the roof tops.  

I will be grateful to those volunteers and to the creator of the Ellen program as long as I live. 

This was my introduction to feminism. Over the next few years - my late teens - I became what might be called an “angry feminist”. I was angry at patriarchy, I was angry at the men on the subway who pinched my butt, I was angry at the prospects of a mediocre salary for excellent work, I was angry at my boyfriend because sex was so uncomfortable. The central question for me during these years, and many years to come, was: 

How can being a woman, being myself and being happy all coexist? 

Sister, that’s a tricky one. What is your central question when it comes to yourself and womanhood? How do you answer it for yourself? 

I thought I had found the answer one day at Burger King. I was 16 and with a group of kids much cooler than me. They were a year older and were the friend of my friend. The topic of being gay came up. One girl raised her voice: 

“You’re not allowed to say anything against gay people, because I’m bisexual.” 

I thought this was very impressive, her courage and her openness. I thought: maybe this is the answer. Maybe skip men altogether! After all, what did I really need men for? Having children seemed like a very distant thing, and anyway, there are sperm banks these days. My limited sexual experiences taught me that boys were clumsy at best, aggressive at worst. I decided to explore this area for myself, and almost overnight, I became a lesbian. I started building my feminist, men-free dream community. 

Me age 18, trying to figure myself out. Photo courtesy Cecilia Kreuzberger. 

Being part of this community was joyful. I learnt alternative, and invaluable, ways to express womanhood. I experienced how deeply and genuinely supportive women can be to one another when there are no men to compete over. The foundation for my future work with sisterhood was laid here. 

At this point of my journey, I had come pretty far. I sort of liked my body. I had built a nice community of women. But there was something missing. It was like when you set a beautiful table, arranging napkins, bringing out the silver and special crystal cups, only to remember that you forgot to make any food. 

What was the missing piece? 

It was like trying to remember a song my mother sang when I was in her womb.  

I was living transformation only on the surface. I had adopted feminist ideals, I surrounded myself with women. I was living “outside patriarchy”. Yet there was no place for my soul to live its mystery. There was no place for my body to be a soul manifest. 

Photo courtesy Alessandra Lopes

My longing was answered by an ad in a newspaper. On a sunny afternoon I sat on my balcony flipping through a free magazine I had picked up at my local crystal shop. It was filled with ads for juice cleanses and horoscope readings. I read it half-interestedly. Then, my eye was caught by an ad for a school called the Sofia Institute, and a program called the Path of the Priestess (this was later renamed to School of Graceful Living and the Female Leadership Program). I will never forget the sensation in my chest. I was like my soul reached out a hand through my very bones, grabbed the newspaper and exclaimed: I want this!!! 

During my time at School of Graceful Living is when I first came into contact with the concept of Sacred Womanhood. It was also the first time I ever felt truly at home with strangers. I realized that this was the community in which I belonged. Around the same time, I met the man who would become my husband and my world, views and community changed once more.

Immersing myself in Sacred Womanhood was food for my soul. I realized this is where my true calling is. I will make a humble attempt here to define what Sacred Womanhood can be and why it’s important. My definition is the result of me internalizing the beautiful teachings I received at School of Graceful Living and then spending the last few years offering the work of Sacred Womanhood to the world. 

Joiners for the Women’s Temple. Photo courtesy Ka’imi Nicholson

Sacred Womanhood is when the mysterious creative, life-giving force of women is honored as sacred. When your period is more than just blood. When you dance your life with the moon and earth rhythms. When you find a way to feel your flesh as sacred, seeing yourself as a goddess made manifest. When you know in your heart how sisterhood heals the world. When you listen to the subtle songs of this vast universe, and you listen for the voice of the Great She. 

You may call this path what you like. I name it Path of Sacred She. 

Mizu Hirmoi being initiated as a Sacred She Yoga Teacher. Photo courtesy Amy Jolley. 

[coastalperformanceblog]

DOUG & JACKIE GIBSON

DOUG

Age: 55

Member Since: Feb, 2018

Goals (achieved and striving for): Overall improvement in strength, conditioning, fitness and health.  Many gains in these areas so far, but definitely still striving!!

Hobbies: Camping and hiking, fishing, college football (Go Buckeyes!), spending time with family.

FAVORITE

Food:  Pretty much everything….except lima beans, but especially Steaks and Burgers

Exercise: Bike, sled, anything involving weights

Book: Anything by Vince Flynn

Place to visit: England and Italy.  We’ve lived in Spain and Greece as well.  They are really great too!

Ice Cream flavor: Chocolate Peanut Butter (which is why I definitely need the gym)

Olympic Sport to watch: Curling??… (not a big Olympic Sports fan)

Holiday:   Independence Day

What do you consider to be your biggest accomplishments since joining?  Keeping at it!  Not giving up when it gets tough.  

What’s something in the fitness world that you have changed your mind about?  

It’s not all about cardio, or strength, or any one individual activity.  It’s a combination of everything that works.

How do you motivate others?  

It may not be pretty, but if my big old body can get out there and do it, anyone can.

Who has inspired you in your life and why?  

My biggest inspiration would be my wife Jackie.  She has inspired and supported me in everything for the last 30 years.  She was a rock during my Navy career with many long deployments away from home and family, keeping me motivated to finish my 2 Masters Degrees (believe me, I wanted to quit many times), to completely supporting me in my business endeavors.   She continually motivates me to keep moving.

How do you evaluate success?  

Meeting and accomplishing a goal.  No matter how small or how big the goal may be, if you meet or exceed that goal, you have succeeded, then its time to set another goal and reach for that one. See quote below.

How has joining Coastal changed your life?  

I have much so much more energy!   I feel so much stronger, and I find myself much more open to trying new physical activities.  I am much better focused on how I want to be going forward in life.

Motto/Mantra/Quote:  

“I have learned that success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he/she has overcome while trying to succeed”.  Booker T. Washington

Testimonial:

I tried 3 different “gyms” before finding Coastal Performance.  The self-paced, no structure gym where people like to stare at themselves in the mirror; weight-lifting only gym where “you pick things up and put them down”; and a cross-fit place where I was warned, “Doug, you’re going to get hurt”, and wouldn’t you know it, they were right!  Coastal Performance is none of these.  The structure, professionalism of the trainers, and the purposeful training sessions has been amazing.  Craig, Kelsey, Beth and Dylan are awesome!  The trainers are motivating, knowledgeable, professional, and truly care about those of us in their class.  Their goal is to make us better, and they do this every session.  Never a dull moment!!!

JACKIE

Age: 57

Member Since: Apr 2018

Goals (achieving and striving for):

I feel so much better now. I feel energized, have increased confidence and my mood has improved. I feel stronger and more flexible and have so much more endurance. I look forward to continued improvement.

Hobbies:

I’m a simple kind of girl. I love to read and travel and would travel the world if I could.  I also love to camp and hike in Acadia with my family in the summer. I do enjoy baking at the weekends, so it’s a good job I’m going to the gym!

FAVORITE

Food: Seafood! I love lobster, shrimp, sea bass, haddock and even octopus!

Exercise: I love running. I’m a fair weather runner though. I do not run in the rain!

Book: The Nightingale by Kristin Hannah

Favorite place to visit:  England & Italy

Ice Cream flavor: Butter Pecan - yum!

Olympic sport to watch: Honestly, I don’t get too excited about it, however, I did love watching the ladies marathon in the London Olympics. The route was stunning and the runners were incredible!

Holiday: Thanksgiving. I love the colors, the food and the company. Probably hilarious coming from a Brit!

What do you consider to be your biggest accomplishments since joining: Push-up’s, yea me!

What’s something in the fitness world that you have changed your mind about?

Maybe lifting weights isn’t so bad.

How do you motivate others?

I think to a lot of people, the gym is intimidating. I think if an ordinary middle aged women like myself can do it, I would like to think other women would give it a try too.

Who has inspired you in your life and why?

My sweet husband Doug. He is so motivated, hard working and always joyful. Also, we have a few elderly folks who come to our office who are amazing. They are as sharp as tacks, in great condition, lively and truly engaged, and I’m sure it’s because they have always taken such great care of themselves.

How do you evaluate success?

I think happiness is the only true evaluation of success.

How has joining Coastal changed your life?

I think my whole life has improved. I’m motivated and super proud of how far I have come. Also, it’s a treat to be in the company of such a wonderful group of people.

Motto/Mantra/Quote:

Be you! A while ago, my daughter Sarah was nervous about an upcoming event. My son Tom said, Sarah just “ be you”. And it was perfect.

The Golden Rule: Treating others as one’s self would wish to be treated.

Testimonial:

I’m very proud to be part of Coastal Performance. The trainers are so professional, kind and motivating. Sometimes I can’t believe I’m working out with such an elite group of athletes. It’s certainly challenging, but very worth it. I have discovered you can always do more than you thought you could. I can’t imagine my life without Coastal Performance now.

[isabellestillman]

Strong (In)Dependent Woman

From an evolutionary perspective, humans are not meant to be alone. Darwin and our seventh-grade science teachers would have us recall that the foremost objective of any living thing is to procreate. Our species requires the meeting of two distinct individuals to do so: we need a second human to survive.

From the perspective of my elite, liberal, feminist upbringing, a young woman ought to survive on her own. In my world, engagements before age 25 are met with shock if not opprobrium, breaking up with him is encouraged in favor of “doing you,” career-based choices are lauded over those that prioritize relationships. ‘Survival,’ in my case, often seems synonymous with ‘self-reliance.’

Run fast, be smart, get dirty, eat what you want—and don’t ever think you need a man to make you whole: it’s a crucial set of tips, an education in womanhood of which too many girls and women are deprived. It’s one that I’ve taken seriously throughout my adolescence. But having internalized its expectations of autonomy, I’ve begun to scold myself for longing, for loneliness, for the slightest whiff of dependence.

It is this capacity to scold that I now question.

Will was my blind date to a wine-and-cheese dorm party my junior year of college: an unfamiliar face with mountain-man hair, his gangly frame swimming in a sport coat, paired perfectly with beat-up trail running shoes. It was a first sight thing. That night we didn’t leave our corner of the room once. We traded thoughts on the Green Mountains and Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, privilege and justice, the scenes at the tables where we’d grown up eating dinner.

The next week, we went for burgers and beers in town. Four days later, I wrote in my journal, “Something I know for sure: I am falling in love.” From then on, we saw each other every day. We’d drive down dirt roads to catch sunsets and eat pancakes in bed and try to figure out how to be good in the world.

We were so different; that was what drew me in. I craved something other, something to shatter the carefully sculpted perspectives I’d held for the first two decades of my life. Will challenged me, his mind full of questions I’d never wondered and convictions I’d never entertained. I was spellbound by his way of seeing the world, hungry for the way he made me eat away at my own beliefs. For a while, I thought that was what it meant to find a partner.  

But over time, our differences began to wear, revealing themselves not just as day-to-day misunderstandings but as existential crises. Little things at first: Will was a minimalist, the owner of roughly five shirts, a couple pairs of shorts, and a laptop from 2007. I like clothes (whatever!), enjoy dinner out, spent $30 on Amazon for a poster to hang in my dorm. The first winter of our relationship, I bought a new sweater. I wore it to his house and waited in his bathroom, talking to him through the curtain as he finished showering with his simple bar of soap. I caught my reflection in the mirror—the sweater suddenly egregiously bright—and felt immediately sick to my stomach: You don’t need this sweater, or any of the countless things you have. You’re wasteful and spoiled. Your priorities are all off. What is wrong with you?

Maybe you know the feeling–when minor lifestyle choices bear the weight of character traits, criteria for judgment. Will managed to keep his world view consistent down to the last detail—living only on bread and peanut butter, listening only to music with ‘real’ messages, keeping as much distance from his phone as possible. And, in contrast, I was shallow, asinine, silly, out of touch with the systems and structures of the world.

It was more than just wardrobe choices. It was Big Ideas About How To Live: my drive to change the world and his fear of unbridled ambition; my need for light-hearted frivolity, his reading of my laid-backness as a failure to scrutinize my surroundings; my trusting of certain ideas, his only constant being skepticism.

As these chasms grew, my strength depleted. And the same person who made me question my worth was the one I turned to for affirmation. If Will couldn’t spend the afternoon with me, I wondered what it meant and begged him to assure me it was nothing. When I felt unseen or inferior, I would escape to his dorm room to feel his hands in my hair, the band-aid of physical touch. I could never hear the words “I love you” enough. I needed him to say I was smart, insightful, vibrant: that he loved me even with my flaws. I needed him to tell me I was good.

It ended almost as suddenly as it started. A phone call three months after graduation. And soon, I began to wonder if my ‘flaws’ had really been flaws at all.

That summer, I moved to Boston to get my Masters in Education, knowing that what I needed to work on was being good enough for myself.

And it worked.

I became the strong independent woman my upbringing had enshrined. I got a 4.0 GPA at Harvard, took on double the required teaching load, created a new social circle, read and wrote more than I had in years. I got drinks and kissed by the Charles and met people’s friends and sometimes stayed the night. I dated around.

In the midst of all this, my best friend broke up with her long-term boyfriend. It was a long time coming, but nonetheless sad, difficult and dark. It was also, as our group of girlfriends agreed, a great time for Zoey to “work on herself.” “Time to do you,” we said. “Time to become the strong independent woman you envisioned when you made this decision.” Plant a garden, we suggested. Make a scrapbook, join a soccer league, play poker, paint. Make yourself happy. Be independent.

It was funny, hearing myself counsel Zooey. So convinced that I knew what she needed—to do things that ‘made her independent’—advising her with ostensible confidence, but never quite sure how, exactly, I’d arrived at my own self-discovery. I’d certainly tried to learn to cook, to train for a half marathon, to finish the Sunday crossword, to skateboard. But deep down, I knew it wasn’t these things that had gotten me where I was.

I was afraid, when Daniel came along that February, that I hadn’t yet solidified my independence, that I was still vulnerable to other people’s ideas of what would make me ‘good.’ But as we spent more time together, that fear sort of dropped away. Eventually it stopped occurring to me at all, because with Daniel I never felt like there were expectations. I felt like my own self, at my very best. The most perceptive observer, eagerest listener, funniest banterer, caringest ally, cleverest referencer, insightfulest reflector, outgoingest adventurer, sweetest lover: peak Isabeller. Not because I was trying. Because Daniel somehow brought it out.

In the spring of 2017, I got a job teaching at a school I believed in, in Denver, which I knew would suit me better than Boston. I didn’t want to leave Daniel, but in my strong independent heart I knew better than to base a career choice on some guy I’d been dating a few months. Even if I did suspect, as I still do, that he might be the guy. As my friends, family, and culture had taught me, I sided with my strong independent woman self.

It was a tearful (sobful, really) sunrise parting, imbued with the understanding that staying together would be essentially impossible. He was a third-year medical student, I a first-year teacher, the number of three-day weekends sub-three, the distance a seven-hour, two-thousand-mile journey.

I pushed. I said, “Let’s leave the option open,” and, “It might be worth a try.” He smiled noncommittally, saying it didn’t make sense, that it would be more pain-inducing than joyful. The rational side of me saw his reasoning as legitimate. The strong independent side of me saw single life as ‘the right thing’ for me. But the feeling side of me still believed that it was possible. That when something makes you feel like the best you, holding on makes the most sense.

Now, lying on the floor of my new, empty apartment, my mind rings, “I need you.” And in some ways, I do. I need people in my life who inspire me. I need to laugh often, which we did. I need places where I know my best self comes standard. Just like I need these things from my friends. Why is it that different to need from a partner? Why is it that different to need from a man, a lover?

-

If you have a minute, Google “strong independent woman”: the how-to’s are endless, not to mention simple, degrading, sexist, and frankly absurd. (My personal favorite: lovepanky.com’s “How to be a Strong Independent Woman that Men Love.”)

Our society puts so much value on independence: make your own choices, discover your own happiness. Look in the mirror and say, “I look fly in this sweater, and I’m keeping it!” It sounds empowering. But it’s just another “women should ____.” A sexist expectation. A pigeonhole that’s exhausting at best, inhuman at worst. Being human means at least sometimes reveling in relying on others, in the beauty of finding your best self with other people—in a dependence that secures your survival, rather than threatens it.

I’m working on a theory of two kinds of dependence: in type one dependence, we rely on others to make ourselves believe we are good and worthy. In type two dependence, we rely on others because with them, we simply are that way. The fine line between the two gets lost easily in the fog of romantic feelings.  

It’s only a hypothesis, with a mere 23 years of evidence behind it, but it passes the common sense test. A woman’s choice of whether and how to depend should be just that: hers.

[foodpilgrim]

High Country Tenderness

It’s a dramatic and spirit-lifting drive along the six-mile stretch of NC Highway 18 from Cumberland Knob Recreation Area in Surry County, NC, to the community of Ennice in northern Alleghany County. The highway unrolls to the west like a ribbon along the ridgetops, almost in sight of the Virginia state line. To the south and west, long, peaceful views of grazing cattle and symmetrical fields of boxwood and Christmas trees undulate toward Bullhead Mountain, a landmark on the Blue Ridge Parkway. Beyond Ennice, the road runs down to the county seat of Sparta, where I was headed for a weekend of food and festivities associated with my book, The Month of Their Ripening. I was hosted by Alleghany Writers, a scrappy literary group with a big vision in this small mountain county populated by hard working farmers and joyful retirees.  Some residents qualify in both categories, as did the two families I met on the first day of my visit.

The visiting bull (right) on the move to a different pasture

Before moving permanently to Alleghany County, Ricky Brown lived in several NC cities as a senior bank executive. He and his wife, Kim, had been childhood sweethearts in the eastern NC town of Robersonville in Martin County where cotton and tobacco are the primary products. The Browns moved into the cattle business when their daughter Sara declared she wanted to become an organic farmer.  While Sara went off to study at The Farm School in Athol, MA, followed by a volunteer stint for Heifer International, Ricky took early retirement and found some 175 rolling acres that had formerly been planted in Christmas trees.  Then Kim’s sister Lynn Perry and her mother, Doris Perry, joined the Browns in the mountains.

Chilly Water Farm’s Kim Brown and Levi, a standard donkey

Today Chilly Water Farm raises Dexter and Angus beef cattle without hormones and antibiotics. The herd feeds exclusively on grass and hay, rotating every two days through a series of paddocks that keep the pasture grass thriving. Each year Chilly Water sells a limited quantity of high quality steakburger meat by the pound to local customers and to select Winston-Salem restaurants.  

“The burgers are made from everything but the short ribs and soup bones,” Kim explained, as we set out toward the chicken pen. (Chilly Water also sells eggs and uses chicken fertilizer for the garden.)  “We recently got rid of the rooster,” Kim continued. “He drove the girls crazy.  They didn’t need that. We are all about harmony here.” She grinned.

The farm menagerie involves several dogs, including a Jack Russell terrier named Opie, a standard donkey named Levi, and eight miniature donkeys, all female, who keep him company.  

“These animals are for nothing but peace and joy,” Kim said, as the small herd trotted over to greet and nudge us for head rubs along the fence. Nearby, Little Jack, a rescue goat, was penned with his companion, Watson, also seeking an audience with the humans. More goats played up the hill in a separate pen near an heirloom apple tree that was loaded with yellow fruit. Kim explained that only the goat named Elvis could possibly be a candidate for a meal, leaving us to wonder about his offenses.  

Watson in foreground and Little Jack, the rescue goat 

After paying our respects to these “house” animals, sister Lynn joined us as we climbed onto a four-seat gator and sailed across the pristine fields to get a closer look at the horses and cattle down in the holler, including an enormous visiting bull who quickly showed us his stuff. We laughed as Lynn put on her mucking boots and hopped off the vehicle to lead the herd through the gate to their next grazing destination. Then we shot forward again, bouncing and angling downhill and then uphill again on a washed-out trail through dense white pines, mature hardwoods, and an occasional Norwegian fir.

When we stopped to observe the pond from the far side of the woods, the sisters reminisced about their grandmother’s unforgettable molasses cake recipe that they had asked her to share with them as her health was failing.  The ingredients, as it turned out, were the last words she spoke to her granddaughters. “But when we made it, it didn’t turn out like we remembered,” said Lynn, now amused by the memory. “I think she maybe didn’t give us all that the cake called for.”  

“Of course, she never measured anything anyway,” Kim added.  “Just a pinch of that and a spoonful of this.”

Back at the house, Ricky had cooked juicy and tender steakburgers on the grill and Doris set out a buffet of green beans, okra, fresh sliced tomatoes, stewed apples from the tree outside, and crisp homemade pickles and jalapenos. After such a feast, I hated to leave Chilly Waters, but I presented my kind hosts with a signed copy of the book and headed out to my next destination.

                                                      ***

Frances Huber grew up in the toney Buckhead section of Atlanta but started coming to Alleghany County for family retreats as a ten-year-old.  Now, just past 80, she is raising Angus breeding stock.  She used to sell her cattle for beef, but today she raises the original Angus that have shorter legs and carry more meat than their big-boned, genetically modified relatives. “Now I don’t have to apologize when I sell them off,” Frances explained, “because they are not going off to be processed but are headed for breeding.”

Huber, assisted by a full-time farm manager and an occasional student intern, also raises all-natural, forest-grazing hogs that were lolling around the edge of the woods alongside the cattle as I made my way down the treelined drive to the two-story frame house that she and her late husband, Andy, built in the 1990s.

Long before her organic farming adventure started, Frances read Rachel Carson’s Silent Spring and developed an interest in holistic medicine. With Andy, who was a Cornell graduate in agriculture, the Hubers bought this abandoned dairy farm in 1994 and raised hay and horses without the use of chemical fertilizers, herbicides, or pesticides. “The weeds will tell you what’s wrong with your soil,” Frances explained. She taught herself how to correct deficiencies in the dirt with natural applications of minerals such as gypsum to get the pH right. 

Frances Huber of Brush Creek Farm After her husband died of a debilitating cancer of the spine in 2000, Frances did not want to leave the farm. With her daughter’s help, she opened the land to families and busloads of schoolchildren who visited her newly acquired collection of petting animals.  She also created a store and planted a whimsical garden on the farm.  While she loved the children who came to visit and learn from her, Frances said, “It was like running Carowinds. Too much.” She laughed.

Now Huber has put her 200-plus acres into conservation easements, including the land that provides the most extraordinary view from her screened porch toward Bullhead Mountain. She then challenged her children to come up with a crop they could raise on a portion of the land. The only requirement was that no chemicals be used in the process. Her son who is a bond trader and her daughter who is in marketing came up with the idea of hops and planted citrus hops from five sources last year on a single acre. “An acre of hops is a lot,” Frances said.  “I told them I would give them the rest of that sloping field if it went well.”

Hops growing on a rope of organic hemp

I had never seen hops growing. Though most of the first crop had been harvested by the time of my visit, a few vines still climbed upward from the ground on organic hemp ropes suspended from wires strung high above on ten-foot poles that were set out in a grid pattern. Clearly the infrastructure for this crop took no small effort to construct. Frances explained that they had to hire a grappler to install the poles while two of her grandsons helped to site and move the heavy poles. Huber’s daughter spent hours digging trenches out of thick sod between poles and amending the soil under the wires where they would plant the ten rows of hops.  Each row required constant weeding. The siblings chronicled each variety carefully and found no signs of mildew, though some bugs did come along. They declared the first harvest a success. Frances now admits that she was not sure if the kids would pull it off, but they did. Their new business cards say “Huber Hops.”  Perhaps these flavorful ingredients will be coming to a craft brewer near you.

Hops in hand

Two nights later, before I gave a talk about the new book at a farm-to-table dinner for seventy guests in support of the Alleghany Writers’ Development Fund for creative writing in the local schools, I had a chance to sample Frances Huber’s Brush Creek Farm pork tenderloin and chorizo. Local chef Garrison Wagoner used the just-this-side-of-fiery chorizo to stuff succulent mushrooms.  It was a most satisfying burn.

The tenderloin served next needed no accompaniment. Huber’s forest-fed pork was like none I have ever had in memory. Soft, sweet, tender, pale, and without any obvious grain in the meat nor toughness.  In short, remarkable. A few days later I would hear just the right phrase, supposedly posted outside a BBQ joint in Mississippi—“You don’t need teeth to eat our meat.”  That is how tender it was and how easy the visit to this rural enclave. Thanks to Alleghany Writers’ leader Ginger Collins, the Brown family, and Frances Huber for the high-country hospitality.

Need an autographed copy of The Month of Their Ripening for a gift? Write me: georganneubanks9 (at) gmail.com

[njawaidofficial]

'Survivor' Season 35 Player Profile: Meet Ben Driebergen

http://styleveryday.com/2017/09/04/survivor-season-35-player-profile-meet-ben-driebergen/

'Survivor' Season 35 Player Profile: Meet Ben Driebergen

Welcome to the Survivor: Heroes vs Healers vs Hustlers preseason! THR’s Josh Wigler reports from his exclusive visit to the show’s shooting location in Fiji, where he interviewed host Jeff Probst, as well as the 18 new castaways battling it out for the million dollar prize.

Click here to make sure you’re all caught up on our stories from the island, including our weekly podcast series “First One Out,” an in-depth look at all of the new players, culminating in an interview with the first person voted out of the season.

Third up on the Levu tribe: Ben Driebergen, employed at a grocery distribution center at the time of our interview, making his home on Heroes beach due to his past as a United States marine. Ben joined the marines in 2003, serving overseas in Iraq. 

“I was in the infantry and went over to Iraq and did what marines do best,” says Ben, his typically booming voice hitting a quieter tone when he talks about his time at war. ���I was a good marine. I was good at my job. I was a company honor man out of boot camp and school, and loved what I did. Certain things happen. You lose friends. The marine corps was a good experience, but it was also a bad experience.”

When he returned home, the very word “home” became something of a flexible idea. Ben went around the country working a variety of jobs, from staking out land in Alaska to working as a bouncer to living in North Dakota to building fence in Wyoming and beyond. He eventually moved to Texas where he married his first wife at “a drive-through wedding,” with the best man and maid of honor sitting in the backseat of the car.

“The preacher came out through a Burger King drive-through window with the speakers and players, ‘Here Comes the Bride,'” Ben remembers. “I was like, ‘She’s right here! She’s right next to me!'”

Since then, Ben has remarried. He has two children: Wyatt, five years old, who was literally born to the tune of Queen’s “We Are the Champions,” and Gracie, who will be turning three years old during Ben’s time out on Season 35: “She’s a beautiful, healthy little baby girl, but she’s sassy as all hell, so she’s a Driebergen. We’re in for a world of hurt. The world is in for a world of hurt.”

For Ben, his world has started to heal, thanks to the formation of his family and the years he’s spent processing and living his life since returning from his service overseas: “You have to learn from it. It’s hard. You feel like you’re alone when you come back. Every marine and veteran who comes back from all that stuff has a lot on his or her plate. You have a foot in the grave and you don’t care about nothing. There’s help now that’s out there, but you kind of have to figure things out for yourself. Once you do, life is a lot better. Life is worth living after you get back.”

Listen to the podcast below to hear from Ben and the rest of his competitors in the first episode of our preseason series, “First One Out.”

Right now, Ben’s life has taken him to yet another new spot on the globe: Fiji, where he’s competing against 17 other players determined to become the Sole Survivor. Ben says he and his wife are religious viewers of the show every Wednesday night: “The kids go in our room and have movie night, while we have Survivor night. We break out the wine and we watch it. It’s awesome.” When he watches the show, Ben finds himself shouting at the television screen every time a castaway makes a bad move or gets tricked by another competitor.

“I’ll always be like, ‘I could do that! Oh, hell, don’t do that!’ I’ll coach it,” he says. “My wife said, ‘Make a video,’ just so she would stop hearing about it. She’s regretting it now! She started the ball [rolling]. She knew they would like me. She’s nervous. She’s at home with two kids by herself, and surviving in her own right. She’s kicking herself in the butt for telling me to make a video now.”

Now, it’s Ben’s turn to kick some butt, as he attempts to combine his experiences of surviving in hard conditions with the lessons learned from years of watching Survivor, every move fueled by one simple goal: giving his family a better life.

“Five years ago, six years ago, if you would have asked anyone who knew me if I would have a family, a house, two kids, a good job, and I’d be on Survivor? They would kick you in your shin,” he says. “You’re out of your mind. ‘No, not the Ben that I know.’ But my wife helped me out a lot, and I love her for that. She gave me two kids, and that’s why I’m out here. I’m out here for them. I’m out here for us.”

Watch the video below for more from Ben on why he’s going to win Survivor.

#Survivor profiles continue @THR Monday w/ a double-header. Up first: Ben Driebergen, here for one simple reason… https://t.co/Qcj5WsBpBn pic.twitter.com/4T3DP7kfR3

— Josh Wigler (@roundhoward) September 3, 2017

That’s Ben in his own words. But what does everyone else think? Over the course of these interviews, I showed the castaways pictures of each other from casting, to get their pre-game impressions of their future competitors. Read on for their takes on Ben.

Note: comments from the castaways have been edited and condensed for clarity.

Mike Zahalsky (Urologist, Healers Tribe): Honestly, I think he’s the biggest threat in the game. 

Desiree Williams (Physical Therapist, Healers Tribe): I love that guy. He seems maybe ex-military. He’s fun and has a good energy.

JP Hilsabeck (Firefighter, Heroes Tribe): He’s got a military hat on, so I’m guessing he was in the military or something. I’ll probably get along with him great. 

Ashley Nolan (Lifeguard, Heroes Tribe): I like his hat. (Laughs.) He seems funny. He seems like he might have some kind of military background, and that actually excites me. He reminds me a little bit of a dating phase I went through. He reminds me exactly of the guy I dated, many years back, so that was the first thing that caught my eye from him. Like, I had to do a double take. Like, whoa! Flashback! But the military background, that might be a good person to align with. Because they’re generally used to uncomfortable situations, and inadequate weather, or inadequate just environments in general.

Chrissy Hofbeck (Actuary, Heroes Tribe): Oh, he’s so sweet! I love him. I call him the cowboy. He just looks like he’s joyful and loyal. He’s actually someone I hope is on my tribe.

Katrina Radke (Olympian, Heroes Tribe): He’s cool. You know, there was somebody at casting that looked like him, and I’m wondering if it’s the same guy, but he was sitting so far away I never really saw him close up. I think it’s a different guy. They’re so similar, I’m going, “Wow, they must be casting very close.” I think this might be a different guy.

Cole Medders (Wilderness Therapy Guide, Healers Tribe): He’s hilarious. He’s always like the goofy one in the middle. He strikes me as kind of clumsy sometimes, and just a good old country boy. He already has the cutoff t-shirt and super bad sunburn already, just right out the gate.

Ryan Ulrich (Bellhop, Hustlers Tribe): This man is very badly sunburnt right now, but he still looks great. He just seems like a good guy. He doesn’t seem like he’s from New Jersey! And it attracts me to him because of the difference we have. A lot of people say we could bond over commonalities, but sometimes you just want to find out more about another person’s culture and another’s person’s way of life. He seems pretty friendly. He seems like a guy who’s definitely going to try and build the shelter. And he’s definitely going to not be great at it, but he’s going to want to take charge, and if anybody else wants to take charge? That is fine by me!

Ali Elliott (Celebrity Assistant, Hustlers Tribe): He’s seems funny. I feel like we would get along. He seems very friendly. And he’s always [polite], like, “You go first.” He seems kinda like a gentleman. I think that, you know, because I did go to school in the south, I probably encountered a lot of people like him.

Patrick Bolton (Small Business Owner, Hustlers Tribe): You know, he’s an interesting character. I don’t know exactly what to think. He’s got tattoos all over him, which I don’t like to really judge off of tattoos. He’s got this little pinup doll on his lower calf, and then you can’t count them all — he’s covered in tats. But other than that, he seems like possibly a country guy, hardworking. Seems like a hardworking type of person. So that would probably lend to somebody good at camp. As far as challenges go, I don’t think he would be the most athletic. Doesn’t strike me as an athletic type. 

Devon Pinto (Surf Instructor, Hustlers Tribe): Classic, classic hick, definitely. Classic hick, full handle bar mustache like got all the hick tats, the pinup girl, the fucking Texas bull skull, all of that. It’s totally not my style, but as long as he has a good heart? I’ll get along with him just fine.

Watch the video below for an early look at what Ben’s victory speech might look like.

Mike Zahalsky (Urologist, Healers Tribe): Although he doesn’t look it, he’s very charismatic. He’s very charming. He’s very easy to talk to. People congregate to him. But he also has tattoos all over his body. And I believe that tattoos tell a story, and that his story from his tattoos are not necessarily the same story as the guy [who has] the nice little child on his arm tattoo. 

Joe Mena (Probation Officer, Healers Tribe): He’s the one that’s going to screw himself, I’m telling you. I like him because of his personality, but he’s extremely social and I think that’s going to backfire on him. He’s kind of too social with everyone, and I just feel it’s going to backfire on him a little bit.

Jessica Johnston (Nurse Practitioner, Healers Tribe): Let me tell you about him. If anyone’s going to play like a villain, it’s going to be him. He has tattoos on every extremity and on his wrist. I haven’t stalked him enough to get this, but it [looks like he] has an angel versus demon, or an angel and  a demon. Listen, I have to figure out what side of the fence is he playing on. Are we on the dark side or are we on the light side? I’m playing on the light, and I would hope to align myself with someone who is going to be a little rough.

Josh Wigler (Reporter, THR): You would like to be the angel and you would like to find your demon?

Jessica Johnston (Nurse Practitioner, Healers Tribe): I think every demon needs an angel. I’m going to be his, if he’ll let me.

Simone Nguyen (Diversity Associate, Hustlers Tribe): I love him. I love him. I’m going to try to align with him because he seems big and dopey and kind of doe-eyed. He wants to be a villain, but he doesn’t have it in him, you know what I mean? I think that he wants to think that he’s this badass guy but I think at heart, he’s a big softy. I think that’s why it’s going to be easy to pull at his heart strings.

Lauren Rimmer (Fisherman, Hustlers Tribe): God love him, is all I know. He’s going to be a go getter. I think he’s going to try too hard. I think he’s going to work himself into a hole. And it’s not that he’s going to intentionally do it. I just think looks like he wears his heart on his shoulder, and it might hurt him.

Alan Ball (NFL Player, Heroes Tribe): He’s a character. He’s a character. He kind of reminds me of somebody on The Voice. Do you watch The Voice? 

Josh Wigler (Reporter, THR): I do not.

Alan Ball (NFL Player, Heroes Tribe): Okay, so The Voice is kind of like… I can’t give it an analogy. He’s one of those guys who when you look at him, you’re expecting one thing. The way I watch him, he’s full of personality, a good sense of humor. The Voice is based on you not being able to see somebody, but hearing them. You can see him, but his personality speaks a lot louder than his look.

Roark Luskin (Social Worker, Healers Tribe): For me, I can’t decide. The problem is because we can’t talk, I don’t know if he’s like a Keith Nale, who’s going to get along with everybody, or Mike Holloway, who’s going to get along with everybody. And if it’s Mike Holloway, he’s gotta go. If it’s Keith Nale? He can hang.

Ben Driebergen (Marine, Heroes Tribe): You look around at all of these people, and they’re physical threats. Everybody here is strong, cut, both the men and the women. I used to have a six-pack, but now I have a beer gut. But I can still kick it! It’s going to be amazing. 

Click through the gallery below for photos of Ben and the rest of the Season 35 castaways.

Keep checking THR.com/Survivor for more coverage of the Heroes vs Healers vs Hustlers preseason.

  Survivor

#35 #Ben #Driebergen #Meet #Player #Profile #Season #Survivor

[flockcafe2017]

Flock Cafe  - Best Cafe in Singapore Tiong Bahru

Cheeky Eggs ($14). Brunch lovers will like this one, poached eggs with braised pork cheek all atop a piece of toasted brioche. So tender and full of flavours was the braised pork cheek that you can have it all on its own.

The toasted brioche manages to soak up all the marinades from the braised pork cheek and the combination with the thick yolk from the tender poached egg is really quite lovely. The entire dish was augmented by the hollandaise sauce and at Flock, they make it creamy and thick while the flavour was rich and buttery, going well with the sweeter notes from the braised pork cheek.

Homemade Nyonya Fish Patty Sandwich ($15). We were pleasantly surprised to see a not so typical Nyonya fish patty sandwich on the menu. Fresh homemade fish patty sitting on a bed of sour coleslaw and sandwiched between two Foccacia buns – we couldn’t wait to try it.

The fish patty reminded us of a more succulent and heavierl version of Otah – tints of lemongrass and ginger can be tasted but the spiciness may be too mild for some. There is also no fishiness to this patty. This sandwich has no lack of textures and is a result from pairing the springy fish patty with the light and crispy Foccacia.

Lemon Tart ($7). Who would have knew how much a punch this nondescript lemon tart packed and we meant this in a very good way. The lemon tart took us by surprise – the “jolt” of lemon essence in every bite was incredible and definitely wasn’t too sweet, the lemon curd was smooth and almost silky and the pastry shell isn’t flaky and holds itself together very well.

We were told that the pastry chef was trained in Le Cordon Bleu and this is the work of a pastry chef who clearly knows her stuff.

American Cheesecake ($7). A crumbly crust and silky cream cheese filling make this cheesecake a winner. Great taste, texture and creaminess. The cheesecake melts in your mouth yet delivers a solid mouthfeel – there’s a subtle sweetness to the cake and the creaminess of it makes you want to polish of the entire slice on your own Pork Burger

So it's my second time at Flock Cafe and I decided to try this pork burger. I can't remember the name of the burger but the patty is super juicy and the fries are nice!! Not really a fan of burgers but I think this burger is yummy! The price is like any other burger you're gonna buy in other cafe so ya!

 Flock's Scrambled Eggs And Toast

Lazy Saturday lunch saw us at a quiet cafe in Moh Guan Terrace in the Tiong Bahru estate. The scrambled eggs were done nicely, although don't expect anything spectacular taste-wise about the overall dish. Just simple components being assembled and plated together, in my honest opinion. Would recommend this cafe if you're looking for a quiet place to relax and have a fuss-free meal. Even though I decided not to stay on for desserts, the dessert counter did look pretty impressive with their selection of cakes.

 Big Breakfast

Big Breakfast ($20)! A little bit pricey. The dish was average, I won't come back here for this though

 Must... Have... Bacon...

Whenever I have a craving for bacon, which is ever more frequent these days, I head over to Tiong Bahru for the scrambled eggs and bacon at Flock Cafe. Today, thanks to Burpple, I decided to have the Banana French Toast WITH bacon, and let me tell you, it was a very good decision indeed. A friend on Instagram later asked me how much it cost, and I told him, and added "But how can you put a price on pure joy?" And that's what this was. Pure, delicious joy. I hope my next craving for bacon comes soon....

 Smoked Out!

The heat we had to endure as we made our way here was worth it. We ordered the Banana French Toast & Crispy Bacon ($13.9) as well as the Scrambled Eggs & Croissant w Smoked Salmon ($14.9). Everything about the French Toast worked for me! On the contrary, the smoked salmons tend to be too salty for me but to be fair, that's always the case for smoked salmons. It is really quiet and relaxing for weekday afternoon breaks!

 Orange Cinnamon Mocha ($6.50)

First time trying such a flavour of mocha, orange cinnamon.

Its amazing how I get all 3 flavours being strongly accented without any of the elements being subdued by each other. Orange was citrusy sharp, cinnamon provided a good hint of spice and the dark chocolate aroma was prevalent throughout the cup

 Getting bored with Egg Benedict?

Why not try their cheeky egg! Pulled pork with egg Benedict (sinful but tasted really good). The rocket salad refreshed and lighten the dish. ***Sausage come separately***

 Smoked Salmon Panini .

|  I loved the smokiness of the salmon with the crispy panini! I felt that the mayo was slightly overwhelming. Would prefer a layer of cheese or smashed avocado.

 What can make French toast with maple syrup taste even better???

The answer is caramelized bacon and banana. The savory sweet taste made it irresistible. .  |  I loved the idea where they caramelized the entire banana. The visual impact was satisfying enough before we even started to dig in. . 

 Brunching with two lovely girls.

Because it is a joyful occasion, I order three dishes with cakes at the side! Thanks to the cafe list by @burpple, we manage to find these cafes. Happy days!!!!

 For Comfort Food

Flock to this spot for a comforting Pork & Gruyere sandwich, or a dead-simple, spot-on plate of scrambled eggs and toast! 

 Cheeky Eggs

$16.90 a serving. 2 poached eggs, braised pork cheek, rocket, hollandise sauce & English muffin. Eggs a bit overdone.

 Smoked Salmon|Scrambled Egg|Croissant

Best dish from Flock Cafe. Aways ordering the usual every time when I'm there. Abit pricey $14.90 but totally worth it.

 Scrambled Egg & Croissant With Smoked Salmon

Their croissant is flaky and crispy. Together with the soft runny fluffy scrambled egg and the generous slice of smoked salmon, its heavenly! The smoked salmon may be alil salty on its own, so best to eat it together with the croissant and scrambled egg! Their side salad is awesome too! Crunchy cucumber dices and juicy tomatoes halves in some sort of vinegar balsamic dressing, refreshing.

 Banoffee ($6.5)

Banana + coffee cake. But I only can taste the banana no coffee taste at all! Maybe only the top layer. Yet I don't think it worth the price, cake is a bit dry as well. Btw, this is recommened by the staff

Tiong Bahru,

78 Moh Guan Terrace,

#01-25 Tiong Bahru Estate,

Singapore 162078.

Phone: 6536 3938

Email: ordering@flockcafe.com.sg

http://flockcafe.com.s