#or like is that the irony too because despite the fate stuff they never met as far as we know idk

[saeraas]

this hit me so hard in so many ways

[bbnibini]

PSISLY: An Obey Me!CYOA – forty-nine🔖

Telling Levi that everything you experienced last night being a dream was a lie. You didn't remember buying such an expensive blanket, nor did it come with the stuff you packed for your week-long refuge in RAD. The receipt he clumsily left with you was evidence enough that he wrote the letter.

"Ghost my ass. Coward."

So you say, but you cuddled with the said blanket anyway, hoping remnants of him would be there.

If he loved you back, then why would he reject you? Should you have told him to wait for you? To fix your shit so he would give you another chance? It was pathetic. Now you understood Mammon's desperation. But you do need to fix your shit. And maybe stow away your daily necessities at your locker until tonight. Classes would start in a few hours and you needed to prepare.

That fucking locker.

If you would have known this would all happen, you wouldn't have opened it at all.

"Stupid ghost."

"Achoo!"

You jumped at the sound and wrapped the cursed blanket over you like some cloak of invisibility at one of Satan's wizard shows but you ended up looking stupid instead.

"Who's there?!"

Your sneezing invader ended up being the last demon you wanted to see while starting your day.

Fuck.

"You weren't there when I woke up. And they won't tell me where you are.

.

.

.

.

It's because of me, ain't it?"

"Mammon--"

Without any warning, he rushed up and hugged you, feeling the tightness of his hold. Your ghost crush's words repeated in your head like a mantra,

"Face reality."

…ringing incessantly in your head like a curse---of cruel fate trapping you, shaving away your own will and dictating your heart on what it should feel like the cheesy otome games which you play in pajama nights with Asmo and Levi.

Stupid fate told you to hug him back. To follow the script in this messed up romance story and fall in love with the right (person) demon.

"It's all right to feel surfeited. Your emotions are valid, no matter what other people will say. You shouldn't force yourself to love someone. It would be cruel to both of you."

But of course, your ever wise ghost crush has all the answers, for you remembered what he said again, along with your passionate kisses last night despite being in the arms of another man. You felt sick to your stomach.

"We're over."

"No!"

"I don't love you, Mammon. I'm sorry--"

You felt his tongue inside your mouth, probing, desperate, waiting...for you to look his way--to forget about a person who did not want to be remembered. To fall in love with him instead. To lose yourself in the kiss and finally give him a chance.

…but you pushed him away. You stopped yourself from raising your hand out of respect for his own feelings, even if he clearly didn't do the same for yours.

"I can't do this, Mammon. This is unfair!"

"I don't care! I love you! I'll make sure you'll love me too!"

"You're being ridiculous! You know I'm in love with someone else! Aren't you angry with me? I kept on telling you you're all these things when you're not! Why would you want anything to do with me?"

You were tired of crying. Your heart sought for the solace of that one fleeting dream, hopeful for an escape. Face reality? For what? To see how much of a horrible person you are?

"I should be  the one saying that. I should have told you the moment I'd known!" He was shouting now, screaming at the top of his lungs at an early, sunless morning. His voice echoed through the hallways, a piercing screech, frustrated and angry at himself. At you. Your voice was a whisper in comparison.

"No, it was me. Why didn't I notice I was idealising you?" You answered back on the verge of raising your own voice, tempted by the catharsis brought about by mindless projection, uncaring of what it will destroy on its path.

"You're not. I wanted to change on my own. I stole your chance of you ever knowing him. I'm the scoundrel here, aren't I? Must be why you can't ever love me."

The hurt in his voice made your heart clench. You held him by the hand and shook your head repeatedly, letting out a voice as if it were on the verge of screaming. Deep breaths. You aren't the only one confused and pained about all of this. At some point, while false, you had feelings for him. And even if the truth of your twisted love story had been revealed, instead of that love diminishing, it only took a different form. You realised that with your conversations with Levi last night.

"You know that's not true! You have a lot of amazing qualities! Just because I love someone else doesn't mean that would ever change. Mammon, I care about you. That's why I want you to love yourself too."

Tightening your hold on his hands, you looked in his eyes, trying your all to make him see what he could not. Oh, you know there was something there. Something that would make both of you finally listen to each other, instead of shouting at each other but not hearing yourselves at all.

"You were my first demon. You stayed by my side and cared for me. Even if we didn't have the best first meeting, you have always treated me well. So…please don't say you want to change for those reasons. You deserve to be loved for who you are!"

Oh, to hell with this! Stupid feelings! Stupid tears! Stupid you! You were a sobbing, screaming mess, palms sweating as it was intertwined with his, eyes stinging from a love blinded by idealised illusions.

"I love him, Mammon. I want to find him…"

…only to find pain in realising the truth.

"He's a coward who won't even show his face to ya! Why would you love a jerk like that?"

A truth that the both of you couldn't take so kindly, evidenced by the fact that he spoke his next words with unbridled jealousy.

"Oh, he is! I hate him so much! But, I love him all the same!"

Your vociferations were feral---inextinguishable, lighting a fire in your heart that you thought was long gone. The same flames of wrath you snuffed out before even understanding the unfairness of your situation---of your own life being taken away, anger over those who could never understand the fragility of a transient existence as yours.

"He's the worst!"

You cried out, voicing out your complaints for a man who couldn't even tell you his name. His stupid name! "Arrogant! Prideful! Selfish! Telling me to face reality when he cannot even face his own!"

You aired out even more of your complaints, screaming at the top of your lungs, a crying sobbing mess--undergoing stress far too early in the morning for you to gain any sense or bearing. You didn't even realise your legs gave out on you as you were sitting with your legs splayed on the floor, muffling the sound of your sobs, hoping the tears would also stop.

You screamed until you had no more voice, calling out to your first demon in a hoarse whisper,

"I want to love you…but I can't…"

Mammon lost his anger the moment you broke down in tears, epiphany in his eyes that he was too emotional to ever understand or control. You were in his arms, this time not out of possession but of concern. His chest was stained with your snot and tears, uniform crumpled by the clench of your hands, clawing at some proverbial cliff your ghostly love threw you in to fend for yourself.

"Why would he kiss me? Why would he tell me he loved me if he couldn't fight for me? Why would he tell me to face reality when he's not here by my side?"

Mammon's clutter of a mind held back the urge to ask you 'You met him?' And instead held you in his arms, his desire to protect you from anything that causes you harm intensifying, even if the threat was himself.

There was a sense of understanding in his eyes, too late to be realised, or at least that was what he thought. He was disgusted by how similar he was with that scum of a man who didn't even have the courage to tell you his feelings face-to-face. He didn't say anything and held you until you calmed down, making soft strokes on your back as if you would shatter in his arms at the slightest touch. You probably did already, perhaps you had been broken all along. Maybe that was why he left you.

"If you want me to stay by your side," you said weakly, void of anything in your eyes, reflecting the bliss of abreaction. "I can only offer you my friendship. I'm tired, Mammon. I need space."

"Okay…" he answered back, hearing your voice for the first time.

"I'm sorry for hurting you."

"I'm sorry too."

"I want to break up with you."

"Yeah…we need that right now."

"I'm not good enough for you. For him. For anyone right now."

"That's not true. It's that guy's damn fault!" he quickly lowered his voice down upon seeing you look up at him. "He doesn't deserve ya."

"But I love him…"

It hurt to hear it from you, but he didn't comment. "Mhm. I know."

He held you in his arms for a while until your tears dried and both of you were calmer--able to listen to reason, or at least civil enough to have a coherent conversation.

He broke the ice and told you now that he had a deeper understanding of your situation, about his own truth. "It was the morning before I went to work at Witch's Brew. Little D gave me my own letter." "Apparently I placed it in some random classmate's locker. Couldn't even remember stupid instructions. That damn Belphie…"

"Belphie?"

Why is Belphie involved with this?

Mammon answered generously. "Yeah, Belphie. He was the one who told me your locker schedule.

.

.

.

Judging by the look on yer face…that..ain't good, huh?"

You nodded, replying softly. "I never told him about my locker."

"Wait. What?"

"I'm shocked too. I kept it from him before…especially after…you know."

"Oh."

"B-but I don't feel that way anymore! We're good now!" you replied, flustered.

"...I just didn't have the time to tell him, I guess."

Now that you were now on speaking terms, Mammon couldn't help but finally ask. "What about you?"

"Huh? Me?"

"Your face is a mess. You've got lipstick smudged like a clown--

.

.

.

.

Oi, I'm being serious here!"

You wiped the tears on the corner of your eyes. "Sorry, just laughing at the irony."

"In English, please."

You looked at him cautiously.

"Promise you won't get angry?"

"I already am and I don't even know why. It's that jerk, ain't it?"

You wrapped the blanket around you and covered your face. "Maybe…"

Since you knew Mammon's mind is probably racing with all kinds of tangent thoughts right now, you hoped to silence them with your brutal honesty.

"We kissed a bit…

.

.

.

Okay, maybe a lot. I'm sorry…"

Mammon was more concerned about your secret admirer's lack of responsibility more than anything. There was anger there of course, but he had already burnt out. Like you, he was also tired of…feeling. It was Satan's specialty, not his. Instead, he answered with slight annoyance. "Yet that jerk still left you?!" (Emphasis on the slight)

"It's not like that!" it was such a complicated and surreal situation that if you didn't experience it for yourself, you wouldn't even believe it. But you explained it to him, everything that happened. A dreamlike encounter, now only a reminder of your heartbreak.

"I was the one who forced myself on him. He kept on saying it was a dream but…" you showed him the blanket wrapped around you and flushed at the reminder of your nightly embrace. "...why does it feel so real?"

Mammon didn't know how to respond. Satan's spells are powerful stuff. It would keep every intruder away that only the likes of Lord Diavolo or the caster himself (or the Great Him!)could dispel. Still, it doesn't make sense. He can still feel the traces of magic in your temporary dwelling before he broke the barriers, familiar with the runes and the spell's intricacy---a magic that was entirely his fourth-born brother's.

"The spells were untampered before I got here. Even someone as powerful as the Demon King would leave traces of his magic if he went in here last night. Yet there's nothing. Only Satan's. Ya sure you really kissed someone here?"

"I-I did! He...he left this for me." you cuddled with the blanket even more, hoping it would hide the blush in your face.

"Tch." He rolled his eyes in secret and pretended not to look at your lovestruck face. No time for pining, stupid. He thought to himself.

"Only way I can think of is if that stupid jerk is Fat-- ex-Father himself."

G-God?!

"You ain't locking lips with that old geezer, aren't you?"

You? In love with God himself? That's the most ridiculous thing you've ever heard!

"I WOULDN'T DARE!"

"Yeah. Figures. This is hella weird."

Thankfully,even Mammon thought it was too impossible. You haven't met the man yourself, but you were certain it wasn't him.

"I agree."

Your beloved ghost crush had an odd, familiar air to him. A presence that made you feel safe, loved and protected. Treasured . Comfortable enough to joke and share laughs with each other despite only meeting for the first time.

"It feels like I've been waiting for him. Like we've been apart for a very long time, and we met each other again."

Awkward silence.

"You don't even know 'em." said Mammon, unable to hide the bitterness in his tone.

"I'm sorry...maybe we shouldn't--"

"S'cool. I was the one who asked anyway." Saying that though, he considered your situation and changed the topic."So…you're gonna stay here for a whole week?"

"That's the plan."

"Even if we're good now?"

You nodded. "Until we're both completely recovered and I don't want to beat his ass anymore."

"Heh. So you're not giving up on him? Even if he already did?"

How could you? As much as you want to, your heart told you that it still wanted to find him. And when you do…

"...I'll give him a piece of my mind. Hey Mammon?"

"Yeah?"

"I care about you, you know that?"

"Yeah. But it ain't the same as lovin' me, ain't it? You have bad taste in men."

"Mhm. The worst."

He let out a sigh, whether it was because of your stubbornness or your stupidity, or an amalgamation of both, you didn't know. But he must be disappointed in you right now. Even you aren't blind to the fact that he was the "better choice". But you hated that term. Mammon is so much more than a "choice". He was his own demon, he didn't deserve being objectified or being treated as a substitute for someone else.

"Just so you know, I ain't giving up either."

Yet here he is, equally stupid as you are, declaring his bold words with a toothy grin, hiding his pain to pacify yours. Something hurt in your chest at the thought. But you could do nothing else but pretend you didn't notice his unfair kindness.

"Eh?"

"My rival's as good as dead. I'll steal your heart, fair and square. You'll see!"

"Pfft. Don't ever write a poem."

"Well I'm sorry that jerk can write! Writers are lame anyway!"

The artificial sun illuminated the classroom with its orange hues, welcoming the day filled with new beginnings. You wished you could say the same for you, that this heartache, this ending, this pain would signal the start of your own. For Mammon too, so that he can learn to love himself again: a fresh start, an acknowledgement of the love you've had for each other despite parting ways.

"See you soon." You stood up slowly, and offered your hand to him.

Smiling he took it and answered back.

"Yeah. I'll be waiting. Always."

[ Mammon's Normal🌸Ending obtained.]

💌Read the epilogue

💌Autoload previous save slot

💌masterlist

[theorynexus]

Yay, 72!~

It suddenly occurs to me that Davepeta becoming a thing might not have only been the logical conclusion of ARquiusprite being included in Lord English (thus allowing Dave and Nepeta to confront their Bro and Equius in destined combat/pacification), but also possibly a reference to Dave’s fursona,  Akwete Purrmusk, whom he once used to RP with Nepeta after first being unable to utilize it with Jade?          Just a weird and sudden though that occurred to me at the end of my last post.  I thought it would be preferable to leave the “Do:” as the last note of said previous page, though.

I am in fact reasonably sure it could technically qualify as the one you grew up with.   That said... awwww, that’s not nice, taking Gamzee away before the battle rather than after/during its tail end.   That means that Gamzee that took place in it lost his conditional mortality and almost certainly just died in the world explosion/black hole.   What a cruel thing to DOOM him to. v.v

I remember this.  Also:  Maybe he hadn’t. At least, not in a non-romantic way.  I certainly can’t remember such an occurrence. 

Oh, umm... is this supposed to have been a reference to him being part of Lord English all along?  Man. There goes another joke flying above all of our heads. Wow.

Yeah. You go back to being too cool for school, not-yet-a-villain!Dirk. Nothing to see here.

Well. That’s an interesting trick. Very magician-like. Almost Houdini-ish. 

I suddenly wonder if Calliope has a sense of smell.   More importantly, gah, I know that smell. Not pretty.  John really should have thought this through more.

Awww. Him having wheezes mixed in there along with coughs is not a good thing. Not very nice or silly at all.   >:

On the other hand, his boos and hoos work very well with the honks, and fit with his Comedy/Tragedy persona duality.  “Sob” being mixed in is a mixed bag, but oh well.    Anyway, his being rescued and treated kindly by Calliope, here, sortof makes sense of his willingness to so pitiably serve the Cherubs later, I guess.   It’s not just a desire to become LE later, but a longsuffering debt payment which he is engaging in with Calliope.  Thus, his Rage is suppressed, especially compared to his violence in the Game Over timeline.

Prison CAN reform some people!   Torturous time in near-suffocating conditions can really make one rethink the decisions one’s made in one’s life, regardless of the major reveals concerning the fictionality/fates of such people, I guess.

Locked being semi-ironic, here. Because most certainly does this revelation stay with him; yet at the same time, he indeed also is corrupted by the influence of Caliborn and willingly ends up serving him+becoming part of LE.   ***shrugs***

***raises an eyebrow***    What an interesting wording and thought.   I did not think that Calliope would be the kind to be so performative like this!  (Or at least worn down/out of patience~)

Man, I don’t need to hear your inherently biased explanation. I mean, others might, but the fact that it’s coming from you and not the narrator isn’t going to help people actually recognize the tragedy inherent in your existence!

...   ...   ...    Aaaaaaaannnnnd this makes me think that Gamzee is actually being insincere, considering he is not actually in fact addressing the true problems that caused him to snap and become evil:  namely, Tavros’s death and Lil Cal. None of that other stuff affected him at all other than to cause him to become more susceptible to the aforementioned and much more important events, subsequent to his running out of the pie that his neglectful father figure allowed him to poison himself and/or rot his think pan with. Mind you, I’m sure that the initial burst of rage that would lead him to storm off would in fact be a result of his subjugglator/religious upbringing, but... Well, if those two events had not actually occurred, I’m sure that he would not have taken up the carefully planned---     you know what, given his rant to Dave about using his chucklevoodoos to make their universe terminal as a result of the blasphemies that Dave gave him via the Miracles music video, I have changed my mind.   I will admit that his upbringing DID have an influence on his actions, beyond making him fall to the perfect moment of weakness for LE to influence and direct him.  I’d say that if I had to measure it, the responsibility of his earlier life would be something between 30 and 49.9% of the overall reason for his behavior during the series of events called Murderstuck. His only mentioning the upbringing side of the coin still makes me question how honest he is being, though.  Having him explain it in such a manner really makes him seem to just be making excuses in a blatantly insincere manner.

Uhhh... Karkat?   Dangit, I knew it was going to be Terezi, but Karkat seemed the more straight-forward choice to inform before her.   Ugh.     Darn me and my refusal to make guesses that seem a bit less secure, sometimes.

Yeah... he probably deserves one.  Gosh darned prerequisite hidden conditions for the proliferation of reality, and the fact that you don’t want to---   wow, why does Karkat have tarps the color of his blood on his house [I forget the troll term] if he is trying to hide said blood color?   I’m sorry. It’s just that Let’s Read Homestuck is playing on my TV for some reason or another, and the thought suddenly occurred to me. Hivebent has obviously just begun.    Anyway, yeah, you wouldn’t want to get Gamzee raging out of control, at this point~

Yeeaaahhh.   Not much to say, indeed.  What can you do?  

...   I take it Terezi’s not going to be split between timelines?  Or is she?  Hmm.  It feels like events over there should remain singular; meanwhile, stuff in Earth C are divided.   I wonder if he’ll continue to talk to Terezi for a long, long time to come, despite the fact that John from the Meat Epilogue never really did until he met up with her again.    (She is right, though. He really didn’t deserve redemption. It’s just... necessary.  Gosh, he’s going to probably screw things up so badly, socially.  I shudder to think of the nonsense that shall result. Shall Earth C[andy] truly become the Paradise Planet that was prophesied? I guess that would make sense of his statement that the mirthful messiahs were both him and ***expletive*** him, mayhaps.  If he, for some time, spends his life as a sort of religious leader in this timeline, before moving on to the far future to help Calliope and Caliborn in their youth. )

Wow. This is a dramatic reversal of the other situation: her feeling like it’s been far, far longer than it has for the other John, once they do meet up.  Veeerrry interesting, seeing the mirror’s faces juxtaposed like this.

Irony.  Also:  WHAT THE HECK IS PSEP?!?!?!     Also also:  Way to go, you derp-head. He’s the one she’d least want to revisit.  Bringing him back practically assures she stays out of this version of the universe you live in!

It’s nice to see them both in such high spirits and playful humors, though. :3

Gosh, I hope that no one’s beginning to feel pity toward that pile of horns.  No one wants to see the disgusting filth that might emerge as a result.  The world doesn’t need more of that.

Yeah, he wouldn’t be able to. This is genuinely a huge shift in the balance of the world, though.  The beginning of a dark, dark carnival of mayhem to come, probably.   “performatively” seals the deal, especially with him speaking to the crowd like that.   ***shudders***

[lsgingasblog]

Of Happy Coincidences and Fated Connections Chapter 6

Act 6

‘The best is yet to come’. Yeah right!

I wake up all hazy, my head is lightheaded and my vision is blurry. People are clamoring around me and I try to get up. My vision is returning, but clearly I am having some bizarre dream in a dream because Diana, Sucy, Amanda, Lotte, Hannah, Barbara  are wearing strange clothing, like fantasy rpg clothing.

Wait….Luluco is here too…..wait….hold up…..shit this might not be a dream. I pass out again.

Luluco. Galactic patrol luluco, she works for galactic organization that goes around stopping crime all over space. Sucy met her over a year back and she’s stopped by a few times. If this is really not a dream than I believe this will be the 3rd time I’ve met with her. She always brings trouble. Roll your eyes all you want because that would be hypocritical of me to say knowing my track heard. No really her troubles are on a much bigger scale.

Shit my head hurts. Ooh now I’m starting to remember………so we recovered fine at Cavendish mansion and Andrew, Diana & I hung out and went out too. It was all very pleasant. Even the first 2 days at the summer house went by without much trouble and we caught up what everyone else did for the last 2 weeks.

Despite dispute and gambles going on between Amanda, constanze, sucy  & surprisingly Hannah with the Appleton boys, we had an eventful time gaming, movie watching and going hiking and having sleepovers. So we are literally running on 3-4 hours per day of sleep.

Today in particular we were planning to just do a BBQ and go swimming, because surprisingly we have only done that a bit the first day.

Everything was going smoothly until……until what? Shit my memory is hazy.

‘Akko look out’ Diana jumps in front of me for a blast meant for me and she is out. Wait what….

Professor Ursula was fighting this gigantic weird mushrooms creature…..wait! did sucy bring some weird mushrooms or something.

Why is my memory so jumbled up. Grrrr. Ooh right croix sensei is down, wait so is sucy….hmmm right! It wasn’t an ordinary mushroom thing. Well apart from being sentient apparently it had an immense resistance for magic. Physical blows were the anything that worked. Hence why you see a few mushrooms minions knocked out around Professor Ursula.

Ooh right I was helping her, but we were having a hard time. Professor Ursula got a good hit and so did I but the main boss wasn’t happy and it spread its spores. Professor Ursula shields me.

With the masks on I hardly think that would be necessary and then the creature sends a blast as well and my last assist was down. I went back to Diana. Begging her to wake up, just when I thought it was all over Luluco shows up.

First thing she says after beaming away with her gun a few mushrooms minions is sorry followed by ‘hey akko, it would be nice to finally meet in better circumstances’ I’m inclined to agree.

So that’s an alien. Huh. See I wasn’t lying. She’s trouble. At a possibly bigger proportion than me.

Really nice girl though when you get to know her and there’s never a dull moment with her, but my life is hectic enough as it is. Also having been in one life or death experience with my girlfriend like literally less than 2 weeks ago is good enough for a lifetime, although with my luck at least 1 year to 2 shouldn’t be too much to ask for alas.

I see Luluco frantically running back to me. Ooh right I should help. She shakes her head and jumps towards me there’s another spore field and this one is much denser. I see how badly she injured the gigantic mushroom boss. Ooh god, he’s angry. She shields me with this weird force-field thing, but the force-field did not close completely around luluco and we both black out anyway.

Right that’s what happened. Wait. Who are those diana, sucy, lotter and the rest?

Ok try to remember……ooh right we’re in final fantasy game.

We-meaning Luluco and I- woke up in Mi’hen High road. I saw a chocobo and rode on one too! They’re cute as heck.

Luluco informed me the creature was a galactic creature that is immensely dangerous due to the amazing dream realities that suck you in. She gave a whole complicated explanation of them being possibly multi verse and my head was hurting. This is even worse than when she told me last summer break about alternate universes and how there were some universes I wasn’t with Diana at all. Preposterous.

I care less about trying to understand the whole complications around that though. Basically the bottom point we have to make it to Zanarkand and beat the mushroom entity to get out of here. Good thing dream time is much quicker than real time so we should go in a brisk pace, but it’s possible to make it before our friends gets sucked into the dream reality and never to return again. Those minion mushrooms are actually lost souls in that dream reality. Creepy.

On our adventure we swiftly beat chocobo eater with the help of a healer and summoner Diana that came to help us. She’s so beautiful I could cry, but she’s not my Diana. This is a Diana that grew up in those final fantasy world or final fantasy multiverse dream, you know what screw it. We’re here let’s just make sure we accomplish our goals.

She was accompanied by Hannah & Barbara which were Samurai and Gunner respectively.

Diana was charmed by me. Ooh no is this technically cheating…..

In any case we ended up joining them in their pilgrimage and it was such a hectic ride we lotte the trainer class traveler and then sucy the black mage. I was the warrior and luluco the berserker.

Then we met our thief Amanda and she also had the lady luck dress as well to change into.

We had briefly been accompanied by the alchemist Constanze and the dark mage Jasminke, but they had previous engagements.

Chariot was apparently did since she was the previous summoner who used the final summoning so that makes sin Croix…..great….well the mushroom creature now….this is so confusing.

I can’t believe it though from mi’hen highroad we walked all the way to mushroom rock road, watch croix/ mushroom creature destroy all those soldiers actually after that whole fiasco we met Amanda in Moonflow when she washed ashore. She recognized me so I guess some parts of the story stayed the same.

Thunder Plains sucked although it would seem to fear of thunder did not get carried over by Rikku to Amanda so I was the one shaking in my boots. Good thing I didn’t have to woe this Diana.

Macalania Woods in particular was both pretty and eerie and it’s around here that things become blurry.

Luluco warned about the dangers of staying in this world for long and not telling yourself constantly it’s a game, but it would seem Luluco is also losing herself in this game. This is bad. However then arranged marriages and abductions were happening and even though this wasn’t my diana and the I was more worried that the lines between reality and this world were beginning to blur I will rescue her.

It would seem travelling a desert, while almost dying of thirst would do the trick in completely having forgotten this was not real. So my memory is a bit hazy all I know that there was a fire at home base of the al bhed and we got the airship and it dropped us off before calm lands.  

Where……oh god…….I kissed this world’s Diana under water! It’s not cheating if it’s not real right?

Calm lands was peaceful and beautiful, however it has some pretty crazy monsters and then there was cold. We found out the lie of the final summoning and we killed Dianalesca. Huh. I guess they changed that.

So where are we now? Ooh right. We’re searching for celestial weapons for our party members. We had just found the last one at omega ruins. Which has the scariest monster around and a thorn berry showed up.

Ooh right this is how I ended up here. I remembered what happened back to Diana and I and the thorn berry like creature and that was my tether to bring me back to who I was and what I had to do. I had to save Diana and my other friends out there in the real world. Lest they become mushrooms minions.

Goodness. I snap my eyes open.

“You remembered as well?”

I nod my head.

It was luluco. She apparently touched a memory crystal and was reminded of Nova and why she had to go back. Also seeing me stabbed and killed by a Thornberry was fairly uncomfortable to watch for her apparently. Luckily we have revive here or phoenix down or varies other revitalizing moves. My diana would love some of them or maybe she already has a few equivalent? I have to ask her more specifically.

So we decided we have to go now. We made it all the way to the end and after a lots of effort and having died over again a few times I almost lost myself but the Taurus zodiac card of Diana protected me and gave me strength when I was at my low point and along with my team, including luluco we finally beat Croix/Sin/whatsermushroomface.

Of course like the final fantasy game luluco and I were the dream people. The irony a dream in a dream. This seems like that movie inception we saw yesterday. Grrr. Does the toll stop or not. God.

This version Diana is sad and I give her one last kiss. This isn’t cheating ok. It’s still Diana.

Luluco also leaves and we bask in being heroes. We wake up and the mushroom monster is in a trance, probably tired of having been defeated and we deal the finishing blow and right on time, because my friends were starting to resemble more mushroom than people.

Good. Luluco gives me a few potions to give to them since the after effects of having been in a multiverse/ dream space takes its toll on the psyche and your energy. Luluco goes about cleaning the minion remains and a few other stuff left behind or affected by the pollen of the whatserface mushroom.

Professor Ursula is waking up first, so I give it to her and give her a few to give to others.

I noticed Diana waking up and as I went to her. She was still out of it and yelled out expelliarmus while pointing her wand at me.

I burst out laughing. Omg. Marathoning Harry Potter those 2 days we were on bed rest had a stronger effect that I thought and that’s when she said some of the things were untrue or silly. She liked it after all. Goodness I will never let her live this down.

Diana despite her weak state was a flustered mess. “Don’t say anything”

“What’s in it for me?”

“For goodness sake Akko”

“Here drink this, but don’t think for a moment I will forget you shouting out that spell”

She scowls, but drinks the potion.

She softens up though and gives me a big kiss “I knew you could do it, akko”

I’m a blushing mess once again and I wanted to tell her about the protection and strength her Taurus card game me during my journey in Final Fantasy world.

When I hear Amanda arguing with an Appleton boy that just woke up. Diana and I had towards the commotion.

“No, No way. I had the coolest dream. I was a gosh darn jedi!”

Ooh it was that rude boy that wanted to torture us when we arrived to Appleton. I mean I don’t care for most of the Appleton guys if I’m honest, but Andrew said the changed quite a lot and even Appleton became less mean-spirited towards witches. That’s good to hear.

“Yeah well were you a girl, passing of as a male knight and a vigilante during the night?”

“I had light sabers!”

“Professor Ursula can make light sabers too in our world big whoop!”

Yeah that’s right. I should ask her about how she makes em. They’re pretty cool.

“Well did you travel in space?”

“Who cares about space when you get girls every night, can you say the same little jedi virgin?”

“Wh-what! How is that relevant?!”

“So you admit you lost!”

“No!”

And luckily Andrew and Professor Ursula ended up mediating that argument.

I’m starving. That means multiverse dream food does not fill you up either once you’re outside of it.

I see food on the table and without thinking I took a bit.

I hear screams of ‘No!’ even from Luluco. Ahh…..I might’ve screwed up. She didn’t finish clearing the table with the food covered in spores.

“Luluco, hello nice to see you again.” She greets her “Anything we can do?” Diana frantically asks

Luluco shakes her head although she gives me half the potion. Ewww it’s gross and that’s the last thing I remember before I pass well that and Diana catching me.

“Honestly akko” Diana moved Akko to an outside bench and put Akko’s face on her lap while she’s petting Akko’s hair.

Amanda comes to tease Diana for being all lovey-dovey but instead gets something even better.

“Minchino……I choose you!”

Amanda breaks out into uncontrolled laughter.

Diana is amused she has something to hold over Akko as well.

Luluco stays for the BBQ and beach time before she has to go back to her duties.

Honestly akko never a dull moment with you or the people you meet and Diana drifts of as well leaning on the wall behind the outside chair and the last thing she hears is Amanda’s booming voice, Professor Ursula telling everyone to calm down and Sucy yellow that mushroom ruled world would truly be the best.

[hvzardly]

Alienation

So it began last week, when me texted him on the way to collect le ball game tix from Faiz, asking if he wanted to join. His wife and kid were with him, so he couldn't. So me thot well this is just gonna be another plan not happening with him. But he sounded quite persitent tho. He asked me to go to his place in Nilai instead, which is ridiculously far away, so me of course said no. It was not the distance; just no mood. Plus Mama already cooked dinner. Then he even said he was gonna have his fam go home in a Grab;which was another ridiculous thing to suggest; for an ordinary human being like the rest of humanity except for him. Lol. So yah; me just told to push it to next time, like we always did say and never did do.

Since then, he kept asking to meet up. Me thot he had problems to sulk about, so me gave in anyways last nite. Plus, me also have (had) few confessions to make (about you know what). So me gave me new address to him (he did not even know me moved lol), and here he was after Maghrib, and off we went to le char kuetiau place.

We started by talkin about me resigning, (one of the times he asked to meet up, a schoolmate of ours was with him; and me used to ask that guy about resigning cus he did the same few years back and now full time small businessman; so me told him to kirim salam and to tell that guy that me resigned - to which he texted and said "Salam, free guy" hehe an inside joke among freelancers aka jobless guys lol - so that was how Alien knew about it), where me resigned from etc. So we spoke about me not able to cope with managerial stuff. He tried to dig deeper, but me told him once me moved on, it is hard for me to recollect precisely. If he asked me earlier when it just happened, maybe he might get a more detailed dramatic story (an irony, considering what was gonna happen next lol).

Suddenly he went all silent, which is rare for him, WE know. Lol. He said, he learnt a lot these few months, which changed the direction he was going towards in life. He used to just aim to "level up" and do bigger and bigger things as he went on. Yet somehow that did not satisfy him. He ended up anxious and sick often; trying to continuously expand his business and career. All changed after he listened to a talk by some guy named Vishan something-something; an ex employee at Microsoft. Even though that had been his lifelong goal, like being seated just few metres away from Bill Gate himself and all, Vishan did not feel as happy.

Because the ultimate satisfaction does not lie jn numbers. What good for others might not be good for you. Thinking too much about the future might not even bring you to the future that you dreamt of. Sometimes or most of the times, you must practise the art of surrender. Not sure what Vishan surrendered to, but in our case, it is Him surely.

Then he talked about his many regrets; one of which was of not getting to take his Ummi for jalan jalan much; tho his siblings kept hinting him to. His Ummi, now in her 60s, is suffering from glucoma and perhaps mild alzheimer. Huhuu. From that, and many other humane things he learnt throughout his entrepreneurship, he pledged not to get his goals fixed to any measurable indicators anymore. For the past few months, it has all been about hunches. If he is offered a project but he does not feel happy or comfortable of doing it, he would just decline.. no matter how many tens of grands it is worth.

And true enough, he feels happier that way. Even though yes, business is not doing as grand and well, with many other issues especially financially, he feels contented. However, life-wise, apart from Ummi, he still bears one big regret. US. And he felt it the most upon hearing about Ayah's passing. From Mil. And how they are both sorry that it happened while not being in good terms with you.

That was like a smack on his face. He regretted not taking any action to help with what happened; despite being presented with opportunities since 2014. Even he knew all this since back then, he did not do anything. He did confront me like a best friend would do; let alone tryina help fix it. And he regretted being busy with his career when our story peaked (early last year), while he actually noticed some disconnected dots here and there, which he chose to just ignore.

The fact that Abby grew up in such a broken family certainly did not help either. In his mind, it was all about poor Babybear and how unconsiderate we were towards her. Thus Babymom's cry for help was taken as it was; without feeling like hearing stories from both sides. And when you guys last met, he could see that you were holding yourself from coming all clean, which cemented his assumptions that we had been making up stories and covering up some lies. And just like that, you were gone from his good book. While me, maybe just like a monthly alarm being put on snooze each time.

Well.. the blame was not all his anyways. Remember how we agreed that what we did and how we acted somewhat contributed towards his behaviour and percetion towards us too? So me told him, we were sorry too. It would not happen if we did not hide anything from him. But yah.. me guess, circumstances on either side just would not allow it.

Hence, the years of debts. Heheh. So me told him everything (well.. minus stuff that were for our eyes ears and brains only hehe); revisiting every important plot:

Me confessing to Babymom. Her leaking le stories to everyone. You getting chased away from SK opening up the door for us to blossom. Her sharing with Mirul causing le first court case aka the taklik. Your plot with her and how you left me hanging for a bit. How le black magic thingy been the ultimatum. And how le used condom be the final nail on the coffin.

Regrets and sorries were written all over his face. He sighed at every turn of stories, rubbing his face and neck and clicking his fingers and all. Le usual habits. Only after hearing my stories, he sees everything. And able to connect the dots. Like why and what you were hiding. And why Babymom did not sound like she was blaming me anymore when she told him and Abby about our divorce back in September last year (that was the last time they met her). So apparently he already knew about le divorce since before it was official yet still did not do anything or at least have the courtesy to check on me, his best friend. He just assumed that me knew he knew. Whereas we had been thinkin that he had no clue. Haih.

He said he didn't not love us. He just had different priorities back then, which he wished he did not. Cus those priorities pushed him to overlook so many things; things that are posta mean much to him. But me also said to him, maybe it was all fated. He was made to be too busy with his career to really care and intervene, and me being just too traumatic + egoistic to cry for help anyways. All these were so that it still happened, no matter what we do as humans. It was all scripted by Him in that chapter, in which his character and few others' were not meant to play cameo.

Then me also told him about us. How we progressed from there. How me met Ayah; and what Ayah said the first time me met him. And why Ayah mattered so much. And why SK been so greedy and unjust, after their plan to matchmake you and their son did not materialise. About me and your family. Etc etc. Rather than spending all night sulking, me might as well just feed him with more current stories kan? Hehe.

Oh. He did not setup your meeting with my Mama that did not happen. It was all hers. He was even puzzled to see why Mama was so pissed with us. As if someone had been feeding her with info. Wrong ones of course. So me told him about your 'tongue pierce' and your mission for 'Malaysian citizenship'. Lolol.

So.. yah.. that was it. Phew. Hope me did not miss anything out. I mean, in this post. 5 hours ish with him, me sure we spoke up about everything already. If there is anything else, there is always next time kot. Lol.

Me honestly am not counting too much on him putting me back on his priority list; but it is good if he does.. me won't deny that. Afterall, he is still my best man, isn't he?

Luviu, Sunshine!

So much and more than much more each day!

P.s. : Do reply if he does text you on IG or Messenger ya. Me told him those are the only ways to reach you. =)

[skamfairy]

Get To Know Meeeeeee

Okay so I was tagged by my good friend @theevakchronicles about a week ago (I only saw it like two days ago tho!) and I kinda thought, if I did this I would just write another essay because I love talking about myself and then you guys will like sign a petition to get me to be served as dinner to a crocodile or something. (who knows) But then I was tagged by @chickenparmaham (who practically just radiates cool btw) and that was enough for me to be all 

So here we gooooo fam

Name/nickname/whatever you prefer to be called? Mikki “hey you!” “Mikki with the good hair” “chocolate thunder” But you know Mikki works fine too. 

Pronouns? She/her

Age? 20

Fav Skam character? I swear to god satan wrote this question. Like omg Skam is probs the only show where I don’t really dislike anyone....okay there is probs a couple that I wouldn’t miss....but you can hear me rant about that if you want, another day. Anyway, if I have to pick, like if they were all drowning, who would I save first? 

It would be my Golden haired angel child: Isak Valtersen. He is literally my son. I have loved him from the early days of season 1, and continued to love him despite his snake qualities. I relate to him so much and there is just something about him that hijacked my heart and invaded my soul. 

When did you start watching Skam? Omg this is actual so ironic. I was procrastinating writing this awful essay for my english class, so I of course found myself at the depths of youtubes blackhole, when I saw a fanvid for this super gorgeous blonde girl and cute guy. So I watched it, found myself intrigued af. and found the show with subs. I was sad to see that I had to watch a whole other season before I could get to this nice looking ship....but then... the strange thing happened. I fell in love with the show. Seriously in love. and then I found myself declaring Isak as my fave and just wanting more more more of him...so when I found out that it was his season next, and the first clip legit just came out yesterday. (i’m not kidding I discovered and binged skam the day after Isaks first clip came out. It’s fate guys) Well, I practically died. I had watched like 3 episodes of season 2 when this info came to light, and I practically ditched it to infuse myself in Isak. Of course the subs for it got taken down the day after I did that and there were no subs for Isak at the start, so I just google translated everything on my phone...but it was worth it.

I eventually finished Nooras season during Isak’s hiatus, but I found myself never connecting with her as much as Isak. and Noorwhelm turned out to not be a ship that I particularly liked? So basically the irony is I came here for Noorwhelm but ended up being the biggest, craziest, obsessed Evak shipper ever. 

Came for a cute Blonde, stayed for another cute blonde.

When did you make your blog? Omg like ages ago. I made it in 2013/2014 I think? because my friends were all into it so I jumped in but then I didn’t understand tumblr? Like my bio says, I really really tried to be that cool aesthetic beautiful blog, but like I got bored. It wasn’t until I got into fandoms (like Girl Meets World and Teen Wolf) that I actually found a use for it, but I only had 49 followers before Skam and it was mostly just for me to find spoilers and theories for those shows haha 

Who are you cheering for to be s4′s main? oh wow I honestly don’t know how to answer this qu-

psssh guys i’m just kidding it’s Even.

Who do you think is most likely to be s4′s main? 

Probably Sana? Maybe Vilde but I think she would be saved for season 6.(Russ season) I’m also praying that Vilde’s storyline will include her discovering that she has feelings for women? and some people I talked to about this think they wouldn’t do that straight after Isak’s coming out. I’m really curious. What do you guys think about that idea?? They can do a w/w storyline straight after a m/m storyline can’t they? or maybe not?? Let me know your thoughts on this. :) But yeah it’s probs my girl Sana. 

What are your main interests? My cat. lol, nah I also like memes. I love memes. so sad. I love writing, music, getting burgers with my closest friends and then staying up all night, telling each other our thoughts about the universe until 4 in the morning. Very specific. But it’s an interest of mine haha. I also enjoy singing (let me clarify: this in no way means that I can sing. I can’t. this just means I enjoy singing and making my friends cringe when I break out in song and sing Ariana Grande on the top of my lungs), dancing in front of the mirror, crocheting tiny little scarves and beanies for my stuffed animals. I think you all now realise that I am the lamest 20 year old that has ever existed. Be thankful that you don’t know me.

Something you’re always up to discuss? ANYTHING. woah turn it down Mikki, you’re coming across a little desperate. No seriously come chat to me about anything. I’m always ready to listen and give a super goofy opinion haha. No I really love discussing mental illness, and LGBT representation in the media. I am quite the feminist, so I love talking about anything to do with gender theory and the portrayal of women in film. I also would love it if you guys shared your thoughts and theories and just general observations about Skam with me. Because this show has honestly become my whole life and all I want to do is talk about it with all of you. So please please please TALK TO ME. Okay yeah i’m super desperate. 

Something you refuse to discuss? hmmmm hmmmm Nothing that is oppressing or cruel to another human being? I’m not up to talk about anything that could invade the privacy of our beautiful actors on Skam. Lets let them live and be awesome. When they come back to our lives (seriously Isak come back to meeeeee) it will be amazing and delicious and ahhhhh it’s okay guys we can do this. We can make it. 😭

Other favorite shows aside from Skam? Since Skam came into my life every show I cared about has basically evaporated from my mind? But uhhh I honestly do enjoy Girl Meets World (look it’s progressive and awesome for a disney show okay? if we get it to netflix it will be betttterr) My sister and I have always been into Degrassi (cos draaaamaaaa) um I loved Stranger Things, omg How I Met Your Mother is like the show I watch whenever I am sad, mad, sick, bored. it is just THE SHOW. You know that show that will always be there for you no matter what is happening in your life? HIMYM is that show for me. What show is that for you guys? Tell me. I need new stuff to watch during this wait. Theres a few other shows I am into but I can’t remember them because Skam has taken up too much room in my life right now. 

My friend keeps trying to get me to watch Mr. Robot but i’m like ??? not in the mood cos Skam withdrawals. Is it a good show? should I suck it up and just watch it already? 

Anyway phew we have made it to the end. I told you it was gonna be long af. I just can’t shut up. I’m sorry, I do love you guys. Don’t think I hate you cos I make you suffer like this. 

Okay um, I honestly can’t remember who my mutuals are?? But I’m gonna tag a bunch of blogs that I love and respect, If you have already done this I am sorry and forgive me: @tarjeiandhenrik @evakshalla @deepinskam @babyboyeven @skam-addiction @helovesharry @sanasevaks @skinnyluvlarry @bonsoir-my-ass @isakneven @josteninski @skamz

[onewarmnfuzzymama]

Paying it Forward

We’ve all been inspired by strangers that step up when you would least expect it. What we never expect of course, is for that to happen to us. That is exactly what happened when I was checking into a hotel on Friday afternoon with my very sleepy toddler. I think we’ve all been where I was on Friday afternoon. While my son fell apart in my arms, sandy and in desperate need of a nap, the man at the desk tells me that my card hasn’t gone through for the deposit despite the fact that the hotel has already charged me for the room. At some point from HB to Rancho Cucamonga and back to HB, my card had stopped working.  As any single mama trying to keep a hold of her now flailing, screaming, sleepy toddler and listening to snide comments like “If you could call your bank and figure that out, that would be great,” I almost lost my mind. Then I replied, “Oh that would be great for you, would it?” Thankfully, before I had a chance to get too sassy, a woman came to me asking if she could help in some way.

Just as I was accepting my fate and looking at all of the stuff I had to load back into my car along with my poor tired, sandy, beachy baby, a woman appeared in the lobby and asked if there was anything she could do to possibly help us. Since I didn’t exactly file this trip into a need-to-have folder, I politely tried to decline her offer through the tears because, as nice as it was of her to offer to put the room deposit on her card, my funds were still currently unavailable so I better get home and get this kid some dinner. She responded by handing me cash and pleading with me to take my son, Jameson, to dinner and staying as we had planned. I have never been so touched by a stranger, it was truly unforgettable.

The very next day at work, I had an encounter with another stranger that was particularly profound. A man with a reversed American flag on the right sleeve of his blue t-shirt was the first customer to walk through the doors. He informed me that he would rather sit where his back wasn't to anyone, they had been the first in the restaurant intentionally because he suffered from PTSD. Now I didn't pry or ask him any personal questions but I can only assume that he suffers every day because he has served to protect our freedom. The amount of courage it took for this man to come out in public and live his life was inspiring to me. The only way I could think at that moment to thank this man and his wife for their service and their sacrifice to this country was to anonymously pay for their meal. The irony here is that I had about $65 left of the money that woman gave to me for dinner with my son and this Veteran’s bill was $61. It seemed too perfect not to pay it forward in this moment.

This Veteran and his wife proceeded to buy another couple’s lunch and they turned around and bought another man’s lunch. It was amazing to see so much love and gratitude between strangers. It has been an unforgettable weekend.

Keep reading for the letter I wrote to the woman I met in that hotel lobby.

Woman in the hotel lobby,

Thank you for what you did for my son and me this Friday afternoon. I wanted to take a moment to tell you why it meant so much to us. I am a single mom, a full time student, I have two jobs and some days it feels like time is just slipping away from me. I have had tremendous guilt for all of the time I haven’t been spending with my son. We live with my grandparents and Jameson spends about half of his time with his wonderful daddy so it just seems that lately, we’ve really been spending so little quality time together- just the two of us. That is what you did for me this weekend. When you appeared in that hotel lobby, I was frustrated and quite embarrassed by what happened. At first, I didn’t file our night at the beach into the need-to-have file so I felt a little silly for the tears and it made me hesitate to accept your help. That’s where I was wrong. I should have filed this trip into the need-to-have file. So, from the bottom of my heart, thank you for everything. Instead of piling everything back into my car and putting my sandy, tired boy back into his car seat for a 2+ hour drive home in rush hour traffic, I was able to give him a bath and a proper nap. We then went on to have the most wonderful night! We shared a lobster roll on Pacific Coast Highway and watched the sun set over the HB Pier. We giggled and played and Jameson made friends with some very lovely HB police officers. Spending this time with my boy was absolutely priceless so thank you for seeing a mama in distress and taking action. 

Now I thought that is where this story would end and I could pay you back for your kind gesture and ask that you help another mama in distress again someday. That changed on Saturday morning at work. The first customers to walk into the restaurant were a man and his wife. They had arrived early and waited patiently for us to open. When I showed them to a usual crowd pleaser- table 13 by the window, the man grew visibly uncomfortable and that is when I noticed the reversed American flag on the right sleeve of his blue t-shirt. He informed me that they had intentionally arrived early in hopes of finding a table where he wouldn't have his back to anyone. He then told me he suffered from PTSD. I said, “Of course, you have your pick of the restaurant, any table will do just fine,” and respectfully, I did not follow behind. In moments like these, just like when I met you, a strangers selflessness can just about knock you off your feet. I’m only assuming he was a Veteran based on the t-shirt he was wearing and his declaration of having suffered from post traumatic stress disorder but either way, to see that he has the courage to go out and live his life despite suffering from PTSD was truly awe-inspiring. It was clear during our brief interaction that this man suffers daily at the cost of our freedom. The only way I could think to anonymously thank this man and his wife for their service to this country and the sacrifices they've made was to pay for their meal. Ironically enough, I had about $65 left of what you gave to me on Friday and the couple’ s bill was $61. It seemed too perfect not to pay it forward at this moment. They were so touched and the wife cried, then they proceeded to pay for another couple’s bill and they turned around and bought lunch for a man dining by himself. It was such an amazing moment to be a part of, to see strangers coming together and caring about each other without knowing anything about each other and I have you to thank for that. After this weekend, my heart is full, faith in humanity restored, and I will be forever grateful for meeting you in that hotel lobby.

With love,

One grateful, warm n’ fuzzy mama.