#or like an actual Program Program but its been a while since i did any proper coding so spreadsheets are easier fhgjgbkr

[velvetwyrme]

doozi's undertale fic recs round THREE

As requested, here are EVEN MORE FIC RECS. This round is mostly reader inserts, with a dash of platonic and non-reader fics at the end.

As usual, this is really really long, so take your time and enjoy! Some of them are uhhhh, pretty spicy, so please make sure to check the warnings and tags and act accordingly.

Please tread carefully while reading, check tags, take breaks, drink water and HAVE FUN <3

The STATUS of each fic is labelled as such: Finished, Ongoing/Unfinished, Discontinued. (Unless the author specified that the fic is Discontinued, on Indefinite Hiatus, or otherwise abandoned the work, I will mark it as Ongoing/Unfinished. Oneshots are also marked as such.)

Spicy (Explicit) and/or Dark fics have also been labelled if relevant. (I won’t mark ones with just suggestive themes/moments, since I cant guarantee I’ll catch all of them. Similarly, unless there is consistent graphic death, gore, or otherwise prevalent upsetting topics, I [probably] won’t mark it as dark.)

MULTICHAPTERS

Ghost Hunting With Skeletons - Various/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

ONE OF THE FICS OF ALL TIME!!!

Go "ghost hunting" with Cash while looking for machine parts! Become Sans' weird coworker! Lie and keep secrets with Red! Get tangled up with a mysterious shadowy figure who spontaneously spawns in your house- wait, what was that last one?

Tilikum - Various Sanses/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

I'm sure everyone and their dog knows of this fic by now but listen. If you haven't read this, somehow, please do yourself a favour and read this immediately.

I love mer fics and I especially love CEPHALOPOD SIRENS. (Blue and Red are very good in this fic but SKULL!!!! MY PRECIOUS BOY!!)

The Mirror Bay Depths - Various Sanses/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

And speaking of MER FIC- if you like merskeletons, mysteries, manipulation and mmmmmmmmmm...magical workarounds for linguistic difficulties (i made the alliteration work, see?) Then you'll LOVE this fic!

Dive into The Mirror Bay Depths and get charmed by a buncha mers! It's super cute and also has a serious undertone of "UH OH" once the mystery begins to come to light.

Got Crabs? - Underfell!Sans/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

Got crabs????? Hilarious soulmate AU where you and have some of the stupidest words written on each other's bodies and it all goes GREAT.

You do in fact, got crabs.

It's Just A Game - Sans/Reader - Finished

CYOAs my beloved. This was recced to me recently and I got caught up with all the new updates and it's sooooo good auugugjhfkgh,, I love existential crises and weird metafiction.

cat ~/.zsh_history - Sans/Reader - Finished

If you enjoyed It's Just A Game, or other fics like it, you'll probably like this too!!!! Player-character reality simulation existential angst all wrapped up into a neat little fic <3333 It feels like a weight on my heart.

The Understudy - Sans/Reader - Finished

THE anti-harem fic. As in, THE anti-harem fic that inspired the structure of every other anti-harem fic. It's a piece of fantastic storytelling and is a literal pioneer of a genre.

It was a fic that was intended to flip a genre on it's head, and it's fascinating to me that it became a genre of its own. Splendidly written and is the cause of 99% of my confusion during my return to the fandom because all of a sudden there were a buncha anti-harems and I was like WTF ARE THESE jkdhfgkjdfk,,

I went into it intending to find out the history behind anti-harems, and then got sucked in completely. You can guess the general premise, but MAN does plot hit hard!!!!!!

And speaking of anti-harems...

The Eye of a Judge - Various, Swapfell!Papyrus/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

[Warning: Contains Dark/Heavy Themes]

What if anti-harem fic, except the terrible GF was EVEN MORE terrible. Really really fun concept with what happens to the reader, and oh so fucked up just in general. Make sure to check the tags on this one.

The Faults in Our Souls - W.D. Gaster/Reader - Finished

This fic is super sweet, the reader falls into the Underground and gets taken in by Gaster and his two boys, eventually falling in love and becoming a parental figure for the skelebros. But then the incident with the core happens...

Pros & Cons - Sans/Reader - Finished/Series

[Warning: Contains Explicit Content.]

I try not to put too much NSFW in the lists on this blog but uhhhh *looks at the rest of the list* it's fine. I like these fics too much not to add them.

This one in particular is AMAZING and really funny to boot. The reader wakes up after a one night stand with very few memories of the night before and debates the pros and cons of checking who they slept with thsjfbbfkfbk

The fic right after is ALSO hilarious because it gives so much more context and life to the world I love it dearly. Also the smut is great but yknow gbflgbkf I'm TRYING to keep this relatively SFW

Eau de résistance - Underfell!Sans/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

[Warning: Contains Dark/Heavy Themes]

Underfell flavoured slave AU which gets really, really complicated emotions-wise. It's one of the few UT fics I still keep up with pretty actively atm, and it's because the mystery has me hooked. I NEED TO KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON.

Other than the obvious premise, it gets into some darker topics, so if you're sensitive to that sorta stuff, please read the tags and tread carefully if you decide to read! Otherwise, enjoy!

The Party Incident and Other Embarrassing Anecdotes - Sans/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

[Warning: Contains Explicit Content.]

Takes a deep breath. Ok so, I debated adding this fic. Not because I don't like it, but because I haven't actual read this in years, so I don't know how it stands up to the test of time.

I don't usually like adding fics that I can't certifiably recommend, but I also feel like if you haven't read this, you haven't Really experienced Undertale reader inserts. It's like. a classic.

I still remember vividly cringing from secondhand embarrassment SO many times while reading BUT I wouldn't trade in that experience for anything- I fucking loved this fic. It was wonderful and terrible and so incredibly fun, and honestly I kinda don't want to reread it so I can keep it in the shiny veneer of nostalgia forever.

Smells Like Chalk and a Cockatoo - Sans/Reader - Finished

[Warning: Contains Explicit Content.]

Uhhhh, I don't actually have a good segue for this, but this one also has really complicated relationships. There is a happy ending! It's a fucking rollercoaster to get there though.

It's kinda in the same vein as The Party Incident for me, I consider it a classic, and it's also... very 2016/17. Take that how you will. I don't know if I'd recommend this fic, but I definitely think you should read it, if you know what I mean. I'm VERY fond of it despite my extremely conflicted emotions. It's definitely not for everyone though.

Oh, also it has the most fucked up form of skeleton reproduction ever <3 That's okay though, because it results in one of my favourite fankids ever. I'm love my boyyy Impact ;w;!!!!

Bonetrast - Papyrus/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

The reader in this is terrible and I'm fascinated. I like reading about characters being antagonistic towards each other sometimes, so I really enjoyed this and I wanna see where the author takes this. Make sure to read the tags.

A Drink That Hits Right In the Bones - Various/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

This one... the reader in this kinda sucks too jhsfjkdf but in a different way. Once again fascinating as hell!!! Drunk, gay, in denial and homophobic, this reader is NOT having a great time.

I, however, reading it, am having a fantastic time!

breakfast combo - Sans/Reader - Finished

Veryyyyyy cute! The reader gets bothered about their crush on Sans by UF!Sans. Love the banter. Oneshot turned twoshot, it's a nice little read :D

Penned to you - Horrortale!Sans/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

Penpals!!! I'm loving this so far <3 Horrortale Pap and the reader become penpals and subsequently friends. Sans is... around, probably not being spooky and weird. I'm excited to see where this one goes >:00

Grounding Your Ego - Underfell!Papyrus/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

Soulmate AU again!!! The reader has a set of REALLY terrible words written around their neck, and... they're mute. :]

ALSO the little snippets of world building are so delicious and have stuck in my mind like the- wait fuck I just realised the title is a pun what the fuck how'd I miss that before- LIKE THE GROUNDS IN PAPYRUS' COFFEE.

The Sacrificial Skeleton and the Labyrinth of Gods - Various/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

[Warning: Contains Explicit Content.]

:] *points vigourously at the warning* The smut is a pretty ingrained part once it gets to it, but I couldn't NOT add this fic.

Anyway I'm a little obsessed with this fic. There's a skeleton reader, who's a necromancer! The skeletons are thought to be gods, but actually they got isekai'd! It's a WILD RIDE and it's surprisingly good??? It feels like one of those webtoons or manga that you look at the cover/summary for and go *??????* at, but then you start reading it and go "OH, THIS IS REALLY FUN ACTUALLY."

There's pretty intense language barriers between the skeletons and the reader for a lot of the fic, but I love that sorta stuff, so that just makes it better for me lol. I adore the dynamics between the characters, they feel so diametrically opposed sometimes it's great.

Nothing to see here. - Various/Reader, Various Sanscest - Ongoing/Unfinished

Oh this one!!! Should probably actually go under misc but it's okay. This fic asks the question of: What if there was a MASSIVE multiversal mashup and some of the residents shared an apartment building where they now live completely normal domestic lives?

It's got /Reader stuff as well as a fun selection of Sanscest and platonic roommate content, and each chapter is semi-self contained and really fun.

Magic Bitty Bits™ - Various/Reader, Various Sanscest - Ongoing/Unfinished

Another one that should technically be under misc. I love bitty fics... and I love really fucked up shit happening to characters <3 Take are to note the warnings at the beginning of chapters, but hhrhghh I'm on the edge of my seat every time something happens/is revealed. LIKE WHAT!! WHAT!!!!!!! AHH-

The Monster Who Will Always Wait - Nightmare!Sans - Finished

Small kraken mer becomes BIG KRAKEN MER!!!!!! Leviathan sized drama, with some sweet romance. I followed this one from the day it was posted to the day it finished and I loved every second.

Dire Wolf - Horror!Swapfell!Skelebros/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

You get two new coworkers, who have some unusual habits surrounding food, leading you to make them lunch!! As you grow closer, their histories and rivalries come to light. It's hella good and I love the character dynamics.

Uncomfortably Similar Situations - Horrortale!Sans/Reader - Finished

Horrortale!Sans brings you home like one would a starving stray cat. There are ups and downs but everything turns out alright :]!!

The Sound of the Sea - Underfell!Sans/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

More mer content!!! But Underfell Sans this time ! There are only 3 chapters so far and it has me wanting more!! I love this so much...

Sweet Deceptions - Swapfell!Papyrus/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

Fake dating!!!!! What more can I say ;D Well, I can say a lot more, like how fantastic this fic is with the escalation of the fake relationship, but I'll leave yall to find that out for yourselves :]

Dream Catcher, Nightmare Snatcher - Nightmare!Sans - Ongoing/Unfinished

HRHHGH Nightmare gets stuck in a Venom-esque situation with you, and you both suffer the consequences. You're both menaces to each other in this, it's great.

Coffee and Chaos - Underfell!Skelebros/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

Reader ends up inheriting their mom's tenants, a pair of skeleton brothers. It's a nice slice of life!! Also, he/they reader ftw \o/!!

Canids love bones - Bad Sanses/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

In this, the reader is a monster with a really fluffy tail and a tragic past. They just keep getting bothered by these skeleton dudes and eventually end up joining them. Fun read! I like monster readers.

Train Station Blues - Mafiafell!Sans/Reader - Discontinued

Sadly discontinued :( Still a really solid fic and an enjoyable read!!! I adore the 1920s as a setting...

What is This, A Hallmark Movie? - Underswap!Papyrus/Reader - Finished

Christmas fic!! The reader does not like Christmas, and Stretch tries his best to get them to enjoy it regardless. It doesn't work out too well... but everything is alright in the end. I loved Stretch's determination jkfdhgkjdfg hes trying so hard...

Story of the perfect vessel - Various Sanses/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

Really interesting premise!!! You're a parasite that took over this dying human's body and are now puppeteering it around. Then you meet a buncha skeletons, but you're still a parasite with no sense of what being human is like!! Love me some weird concepts.

America's Unluckiest (Luckiest) Almost-Astronomer - Various/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

Yaayyyy! You get isekai'd into a hot mess of a universe, brimming with skeletons, skeletons and more skeletons! There's some weird stuff going on, but surely it'll be fine.

All is Fair in Love and Prank Wars - Sans/Reader - Finished

Hey! Another 2016 fic! The reader starts a prank war with Sans. Gets angsty but everything gets better in the end. I really enjoyed it :> Reader is named in this, but for some reason that didn't bother me like it usually does lol

Mr. Fear - Underfell!Papyrus/Reader - Finished

This is an interesting one. It's set in a mashup of various AUs (e.g. Swapfell Alphys and Underfell Papyrus) but not in like. a multiversal machine malfunction sorta deal. Anyway, it's got a fun plot and I really enjoyed it :]

Cheshire Kitten - Underswap!Skelebros/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

The reader is a shapeshifter who prefers to be a cat! (Mood) And they use that to deal with problems large and small. It's real sweet and makes me also want to be able to turn into a shapeshifting cat.

it's just me and an overly enthusiastic skeleton; trying to solve a murder. - Underswap!Sans/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

Ah, I love ridiculously long titles. Saves me time. The title also acts as a summary, and it's really fun!! Monster murders must be horrible to make a case for, since you can't inspect the body for evidence...

Ship of bones - Various/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

PIRATES!!!!! I love the action and drama in this one, it's so fun! Also features a lot of scary skeletons. I loved reading about the reader giving them the slip >:3c!!

A Sea of Hope - Various/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

MORE pirates!! This one features a skeleton reader <33 I love the backstory and lore... also the reader is so teeny compared to Axe :DDD

You Know Where To Find Me - Papyrus/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

I am so invested in this premise (Papyrus is the mascot of monsterkind and you are his assistant) and both of you are tired after having a string of terrible employers/employees kjhkjdfg,, I'm so excited to see where this goes, it's been fun so far.

=========================

ONESHOTS

Seeing Double - Swapfell!Papyrus/Reader - Oneshot

Twin shenanigans. TWIN SHENANIGANS AT COFFEE SHOPS! I can't say more without spoiling things so just go read it!!! Reader(s) are named but moreso for Twin purposes.

Somethin' Special - Underswap!Papyrus/Reader - Oneshot

More coffee shop AU! Very cute. SO cute. They're both awkward and silly and its SO sweet.

Daguerreologue - Sans/Reader, Papyrus/Reader - Oneshot/Series

Actually a oneshot that's part of a series, but I just liked this one the most (you should also go read the rest of the series, it's really good too!!!)

Feels like a little snapshot of a soft, warm life, worn by time. It's just a really nice fic! Good for feelin fuzzy inside.

Looking for Something - Sans/Reader - Oneshot

The reader loves to people watch, and draw the people they see. Some of which, are monsters ;)! Superrrrrrrrrr cute. Suuuuuuuuuper super cute.

FIGHT ME!! - Sans/Reader - Oneshot

Not to be mistaken for Fight Me! by MsMK or Fight Me! by Little_old_lady (both of which are very good!!!!!!!) This fic DOES however use the same basic premise/prompt except with Sans as the nurse and it's SIMILARLY fantastic. I love nurse Sans in this.

If yall know of more UT fics with this title/concept please tell me so I can make this stupid joke a third time.

Dates are dumb - Sans/Reader - Oneshot

Sans has a really bad blind date, but his server comes to the rescue!! Really cute!

This was supposed to be smut, idk what happened. - Swapfell!Papyrus/Reader - Oneshot

As the title says, notably not smut. Sexy and very charged? Absolutely.

It's a soulmate AU where the reader is a mob boss making a trade of sorts with their rival, Sans. He shows off the goods before the trade is accepted.

Light of My Life - Papyrus/Reader - Oneshot

Very sweet!! The reader has magic that allows them to hear magic, and they let Papyrus listen in.

and i will love you on purpose - Horrortale!Sans/Reader - Oneshot

As you've probably noticed, 99% of the oneshots I rec here are super cute, and this is no exception djkfgkjgfh 5+1 of kissing Horror, it's bitesized and adorable.

Stargazing - Sans/Reader - Oneshot

A little slice of happiness set before the barrier went up. Sans and the reader are kids and it's very very sweet.

It's Raining Right Here (They/Them Edition) - Papyrus/Reader - Oneshot

Veryyyy cute snapshot of romance with Papyrus <3!!!!

General Misconception - Megalosomnia!Papyrus/Reader - Oneshot

I love the Megalosomnia AU and I also love Papyrus. This has both :] I won't spoil things, but General just wants to be helpful :))

And speaking of Megalosomnia...

Delirious - Megalosomnia - Dr. Baggs/Reader - Oneshot

[Warning: Contains Explicit Content.]

>:3c I usually try avoid too much explicit content for these lists but listennnnnnnn I love good and fun characterisation MORE than any conviction I have to that, plus I've broken that rule already.

Anyway senseless justification aside, I freakin loveeeee how much characterisation gets packed in here, it's delicious!! You get to know so much about the dynamics and workings of the relationships in this universe it's great.

Relearning - Ink!Sans/Reader - Oneshot

The reader breaks her arm and has to relearn how to draw. Cue Ink! It's really sweet!!

Turn The Page - Swapfell!Skelebros/Reader - Oneshot

This one is actually part of a series but I just really like this one hjsdfgjhf,, I love festivals and markets!! The reader is so awkward and jumpy and I'm like. ah. a kindred spirit.

Meet Cute Oneshots - Various - Oneshot/Series

Cheating again by linking a series. As the title implies, it's a bunch of meet cutes!! My favorites (as of writing) are the second, fourth and fifth in the series ^^!!

the thing about axe - Horrortale!Sans/Reader - Oneshot

You go for a nice walk in the woods with Axe :) I love how it this one plays with emotions and atmosphere for the audience, because the reader (character) is mostly oblivious to Axe's history.

hottie hotline - Underfell!Sans/Reader - Oneshot

Really sweet and funny. Red gets stuck in an elevator. THE FUCKING ENDING GOT ME. HRHFKFJFKDNDK

A Conversation Starter - Swapfell!Papyrus/Reader - Oneshot

First times for both of them! A snapshot of these two stumbling through a conversation with a human/monster for the first time. It's adorable.

Soulmate of the Century - Nightmare!Sans/Reader - Oneshot

Soulmate AU where you can't harm your soulmate. You really just wanted some ramen, man.

Kabedon - Swapfell!Sans/Reader - Oneshot

Kabedon the skeleton!!! Razzy doesn't get the appeal, so you explain it to him ;))

Cuddles of Doom - Underfell!Papyrus/Reader - Oneshot

DOOMYYYYY!!! I love the dialogue here. Doomy is the most precious kitty ever and Papyrus is very cute.

Café - Papyrus/Reader - Oneshot

Short and sweet!! (Lightly) tsundere Papyrus is very cute dfjkghkfjg <3

A Blue Valentine - Underswap!Sans/Reader - Oneshot

It's Valentines, and you're crushin'~ Both of them are soooooooo sweet in this.

You'd Be Goo Where You Stand - Sans/Reader - Oneshot

True to the title I am goo where I stand. I'm all gooey and gushy it's so cuteeeeeeeeeeeeee. THEY'RE MARRIIIIIEDDDD,,,,, and there's a sequel??? SO cute.

First Meeting - Underfell!Papyrus/Reader - Oneshot

UF!Papyrus is a very worried parent and the reader is sweet as hell. I just think there's also something really funny about Papyrus calling Frisk a SLIPPERY SNAKE jkdhfjghfdg

=========================

MISC. / OTHER

Full Deck - ? - Ongoing/Unfinished

Hysterical flip of every reader insert ever written. Can be simply summed up as "skeletons desperately dodging various reader's advances", but that is nowhere near close to describing this fic. It's really funny, and if you haven't read it, you should.

Not quite a /reader, so it goes here lolol. The reader is more something that happens to the skeletons.

No fin new about it - Bad Sanses||Nightmare's Gang&Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

SUBNAUTICA AU!! With timeline fuckery! I just like big mer skeletons. And Subnautica. It's a real fun time.

Bits Of Spaghetti - Various&Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

This fic treats bitties in a really interesting way!! Veryyy cool origins, and very interesting dynamics between characters. Reader is an old man, and he just kinda wants to make puppets and dolls and have a nice quiet life. Unfortunately, skeletons.

Don't give up, Y/n! - Various&Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

[Warning: Contains Dark/Heavy Themes]

I do not have any kids but this fic makes me feel like a worried parent. It also makes me feel like I need to smoke an entire pack of cigarettes. It's great, really. Just makes me so stressed. They're just a kid... definitely heed the tags for this one.

Down The Mountain, Under The Door - Underswap!Papyrus&Reader - Oneshot

Monsters are giant sized !! Or humans are tiny. Either way, Underswap Papyrus comforts the reader after accidentally spooking them pretty badly. I love myself some good ol' unintentional fearplay and intentional comfort.

The Bucket List - Various&Reader - Finished

[Warning: Contains Dark/Heavy Themes]

Hoo boy. The reader creates a bucket list, intending to die at the end. It's story about depression and recovery and it's really really good.

Heart on the Table - Ongoing/Unfinished

MADE ME CRYYY,,, Sans and Pap end up taking care of Frisk and honestly just go read it it's very sweet and sad and good. Frisk is just a kid!!!!!! AHHH

Broken Bones (and Sticks and Stones) - Finished

CRIES!!!!!! You know Handplates AU. I know Handplates AU. Featuring: extremely complex familial feelings!!!! Papyrus has a kid, and she is the SWEETEST. Another of my favorite fankids!! FLORAAAAAA <33

This of course, with Gaster being Gaster in this AU, makes everything even more complicated. It's really good and made me cry. Please read it. Papyrus is the best mom.

Jamais Vu - Oneshot

HGH... this one is like a punch to the gut but in a really good way. Both because of the absolutely incredible writing and also because it was the first Undertale fic that this author has posted since 2017, and gave me a scare when I opened my email.

Letters to a Friend - Oneshot

Another by the same author, but from 2016. My HEART?????? The King Papyrus ending always hurts me so... hhhrhhhhghjkdf,,

OH, I WAS BEING SARCASTIC - Finished

[Warning: Contains Dark/Heavy Themes]

It's more Papyrus Angst! This is just going to happen every time I do one of these, probably.

He would never take a vacation for any reason...

Sonata - Finished

[Warning: Contains Dark/Heavy Themes]

More Papyrus Angst. Sometimes a melody can say more than words.

Broken Trust (Re-upload) - Finished

What's this!! Even more angst?! You bet! It's Swap flavoured this time though.

Sans is not actually a monster, and Papyrus is horrified when he finds out. Very very good and sad, with a happy ending. Paps is not great in this, but he comes around :( I really really love the concept of this fic, and I think it was executed really well.

I'm Feeling Fine, Kid - Finished

[Warning: Contains Dark/Heavy Themes]

Soooooooooooo fucked up but it's also like. one of the formative fics of my existence. I could've sworn this was in one of my other lists, but apparently not. Fucked me up big time back when I first read it sdjkhjhf, read this if you wanna hurt and then get tentatively put back together.

If you've read Flowey Is Not A Good Life Coach and you liked that, you might like this too. Lots of Papyrus Angst, but this one has even more Sans Angst!

Stones and a Glass House - Oneshot

[Warning: Contains Discussions of Explicit Content.]

Want a break from the sudden deluge of angst??? Try this, it's kinda a crackfic, and very funny.

Love when brothers get to tease each other mercilessly. They talk pretty candidly about explicit content, so heed the warning LMAO. Very very funny though.

=========================

SANSCEST/PAPCEST

AH SURPRISE! I didn't want to make a whole new list since I have way less of these on hand, but I also really wanted to recommend them lol. If this ain't your thing, then this list ends here -u-)b

fox in the coop - Sanscest (Dust/Horror/Crop) - Ongoing/Unfinished

Ouuuhhhhh I am so unwell over this fic. It hurts so good. Hidden identity bullshit to the max!! I don't even know where to begin with this one, but it's fantastic, go read the summary at least. Dust is so normal about everything. Totally.

Also, Dust gets chickens!!

Colors - Papcest (Spicyhoney || Underfell!Papyrus/Underswap!Papyrus) - Ongoing/Unfinished

Ahhhhh language barriers my beloved. Falling in love despite language barriers my beloved!!!

It's got some real good drama and lovely lovely writing. I love it a whole lot :]]

VILLAIN HOTLINE - Sanscest (Bad Sans Poly) - Ongoing/Unfinished

Bad Sans Chatfic. Wait wait wait hear me out!!! COME BACK. THERES AN ACTUAL STORY.

The chatfic parts are pretty fun, and the developing horror plot even more so! Universes and people are glitching, which spells a bad time for everyone!!!

You Have One (1) Unread Message - Sanscest (Bad Sans Poly) - Ongoing/Unfinished

Similar to the one above, this fic has a similar concept (crack chatfic that devolves into plot and horror)

Genuinely quite terrifying, even when viewed through Killer's strange apathetic POV (which is ALSO fascinating in it's own right).

Little (NOT LITTLE) Red Riding Hood - Papcest (Spicyhoney) - Finished

Really fun twist on Little Red Riding Hood!! Red also gets to wear a frilly nightcap and nightgown in this, which is a fun image.

So You Didn't Want to Marry a Mage - Papcest (Spicyhoney + BG. Mapleblossom) - Ongoing/Unfinished

Ahhh I love fics where a character gets to learn magic from another character... this one is hella cute!!! I love a lot of this author's works but this one in particular is one of my favourites :>

=========================

Did you have fun scrolling forever? I had fun putting this together.

There are a total of 90 fics here! I wanted to do 99 since it's the 999999999th anniversary of Undertale this year, but I'm tired so 90 will do. That's already so many. 90 in fact. Also my phone started to lag while scrolling so perhaps it's for the best.

If yall have any recs for ME, please drop them by my askbox, I (obviously) love reading jkshdgjkfh,,, I'm generally up for rereading stuff, so dw if you reckon I've read something before :]!!

Also, if you haven't already, you should check out my FIC REC MASTERLIST for previous (and future) fic rec lists (from me, specifically).

[batfambrainrotbeloved]

what do the rouges think of cardinal?

OHHHHH What a lovely question <33

Since i've yet to write in Cardinal in a scene beyond his desk work- these might change.

Cardinal acts well- like a cryptic?? It's a complete coin toss how he will behave, if he will turn the creepy to 100% and speak in tounge's (its a mix of latin and greek) But when he DOES respond its through a heavy voice modulater.

However if you want specifics?? (also some extra lore of some rouges no longer active- both due to. Cardinals interference and BECAUSE I SAID SO)

Joker- They are a menace, never once humors his schemes- he knows the moment Cardinal gets involved his fun is ruined. Therefore he hates their guts. (Cardinal is reported 10x more brutal when faced with the Joker)

Scarecrow- Self proclaimed "Arch enemy" of Cardinal since hes never once sucseeded in drugging them, and he longs to know what would make the little bird sing. (Cardinal is said to have an entire pocket dedicated to backup rebreathers, usually lets the bats take over)

Riddler- LOVES Cardinal so so much- they are like best friends (no no they are not) Cardinal seems to enjoy his puzzles and he's able to pull out ones even the Batman would struggle with. Sometimes an informant for a good game. (Cardinal will admit, out of all the rouges? He doesn't mind Riddler- just with less hostages)

Harley- Thinks they are strange, even more strange than the bats. But more than anything concerning- their behaviors raise a ton of red flags but she doubts she can convince them to therapy, though it is her goal. (Cardinal is... unsure about Harley, she's changed- but memories are hard)

Ivy- Theres a mutual respect- Though out of all the vigilantes Cardinal seems to fear her the most, the last time being hit by her pollen they freaked out enough Harley made her give over the antidote. They definently fight, but she does try and hold back some of her more underhanded stuff. (Cardinals suit got several more layers after that incident)

Mr.Freeze- Reformed villain now, as a result of Cardinal. Aka when he first did his villain monologue to them- they had spoke (for the first time to ANY rouge) and asked to see his blue prints. A few years later his suit was fortified to help him live a somewhat normal life, and his wife had been cured. They got their life back. Leaving Gotham soon after, but he still checks in on ocassion (Cardinal never responds though, but they're happy with the updates- that he was able to help)

Catwoman- Annoying, but interesting for sure. It seems no matter how elaborate her scheme they always seem to pop in and just stare or even wave. The most interesting thing though? They never stop her. Certian locations she robs they will return the item (usually museums) but have never once tried to actually take her in. If anything shes half convinced they throw the bats off her trail, its interesting. (She never steals from anyone who cant afford to replace it, and honestly her stuff goes to a good cause-)

Clayface- Never became a villain- After his accident, Dagget had been shut down long before so Matt Hageb he had no accsess to the cream. With the help of his coworker (and future husband) Teddy Lupus he got the help he needed. Drake Industries came out with an amazing prosthesis program that helped construct a whole new face. Now Mr & Mr Lupus live in upper west side of Gotham where they now raise two daughters going to Gotham Academy.

Blackmask- Hates their fucking guts. People think Cardinal comes down on the Joker hard? They're practically suffocating Black Mask movements- buisness is failing and at this rate he's trying to put out a hit on the fucker. (The hates their guts is mutual)

Two face- Instead of going to the Manori trial- Harvey had an emergency call from a very panicky Bruce who suddenly had CPS knocking at his door about Dick. The delay finding a new attorney meant Manori was found with the acid and held for attempted assault while Harvey was scot free. He owns his own law firm now and has continued to be a close confident to Bruce and "Uncle" to the kids. (Cardinal cried when he first found out about Harvey, that he was okay- he thought it had been too late.)

Penguin- Cardinal is a pain in their ass, not as much as Black mask but still just enough that he doesnt hold back when attacking. The ONLY saving grace from absolute hatred is Cardinal outright refuses to fight any of his birds, and will even go as far as to save some of them when the bats are too careless to notice a penguin slipping off a roof. (Cardinal wishes Penguin would stop dragging actual penguins into his shit- even with guns they're just too cute)

[0nlythrowharrybeaux]

With Discretion - Holiday Special**

Here it is! I hope you guys like it. I really like how I ended this series and I hope you guys do too. Thanks for reading!

Read the rest of the “With Discretion” series

WARNINGS: miscommunication/avoidance of issues, fear of commitment and doubt in relationships/partners, 69, face fucking and sitting, fingering, forced and multiple orgasms, unprotected sex, size kink, marking.

WC: 15.2k

Harry had been on a high for the near year you two had been together. Business was excellent, his firm was doing great and he had been able to unfold that deal with the schools in the area and the pilot of the internship program was doing really well. Of course, things with you had been a fucking dream. You were both thriving in your individual endeavors and of course, as a couple. The more time you spent together the more he thought about marriage. He’d always wanted to get married but of course, he was cautious with his love life and its future, but now the future he wanted felt far more tangible. You were everything he had wanted in a life partner. He was anxious to bring it up to you because inevitably, the question would be asked by both of your families about where you two saw this relationship going. Especially as the holidays approached.

He was thinking on this even more since your parents were coming to visit from California and it would be the first time he officially met them in the flesh. It goes without saying that Harry was absolutely nervous about it but he was looking forward to meeting them and spending time with them. He knew that they weren’t all that supportive of your marriage to Caleb, so he wanted to make the best impression possible so that they didn’t have a shred of doubt about what a future with him could mean for you. He had been there for a few conversations with your mom about how disappointed she was at the outcome of your marriage, she wasn’t condescending about it, but like any parent who felt they knew best from the start, she couldn’t help but hit you with that dreaded “I told you so” a couple times. The next time she said something like that to you, he wanted it to be under good circumstances, like your wedding day perhaps when he inevitably cried at the altar because of how breathtaking you’d look. His little daydream was interrupted by his office phone ringing.

“Mr. Styles, reception called, Y/n just arrived.” His new assistant, Corey, informed him over the line.

“Great! Thanks mate. Can you inform reception that I’ll be just a few minutes?” He assured and Corey confirmed before hanging up. He shot you a quick text to let you know that he’d be out soon. You were going to a late lunch and then doing some Christmas shopping, so his Friday would be ending early and he couldn’t be more thrilled to kick off his weekend plans with you.

*********

You were sitting in the reception area just looking through your phone while you waited for Harry to come down. You were quite enraptured with an email on your phone that you didn’t notice that Caleb was approaching you until he called your name.

“Y/N!” He greeted cheerfully and you glanced up from your phone to see him smiling down at you.

“Oh my god! Hi Cal, how are you?” You asked as you shot up from your seat and hugged him tight as he hugged you back.

“I’ve been doing well.” He smiled.

“I can see that! You look great.” You complimented him. He looked a lot more fit and well kept than the last time you had seen him, he had been struggling quite a bit then.

“Thanks, you too.” He smiled, “So things are still going well with Harry.” He said and you nodded.

“Yeah, actually.”

“What’re you going on a year now?” He asked.

“Yeah, in the new year. It’s crazy how time flies.” You said with a smile and he nodded. “What about you? Did ummm, did anything ever pan out with you and Dani?” You asked and Cal sighed.

“Well, kind of. I ummm, I had a trip to London for the firm several months ago. Obviously, I saw her there…we spent the night together. I think she was just feeling a bit homesick and was seeking some familiarity, you know?” He said and you nodded in understanding, “But ummm, obviously she lives there now and we talked a few times after that but it was mostly just good for closure. I ummm, I did start dating again though. I feel good about it, I’ve had a few successful connections, so ummm, yeah it’s been going well.” He shared.

“That’s great, Cal. I’m really happy for you. I’m glad you were able to move on. I know it can be hard.”

“Was it hard for you?” He asked and you nodded. “You sure?” He grinned and you chuckled.

“Yeah! But see I started moving on when I realized that you were seeing someone else. So by the time we were over-over it was a bit easier for me to get with someone new.” You explained.

“Ah…the slow fade.” He hummed.

“Exactly.” You chuckled. 

“So what brings you in?”

“Just having a late lunch with Harry and then we’re doing some Christmas shopping. My parents are coming into town for the holidays so just trying to find something nice for them.”

“Great, that’s really great.” He hummed and you nodded. “And business is going well?”

“Oh yeah, everything’s excellent with that. I had to hire a helper actually, just to give you an idea of how things are going.”

“Wow, congrats!”

“Thank you so much. It’s been tricky at times to meet the demand but I’m getting there.” You smiled.

Just then the elevator dinged and you both glanced over to see Harry stepping out with a cheerful smile upon seeing you standing there. Harry and Cal were on good terms, it did take a few weeks for Cal to get used to Harry dating his ex-wife, but when the weirdness faded they were back to their cool and professional relationship without a hitch. Harry had always been a bit of the jealous type, but he knew that Cal wasn’t a threat to him, so his presence did not deter his excitement to see you in any way.

“Hey, baby!” He greeted you happily and Cal moved aside as Harry hugged you and kissed your cheek quickly.

“Hi.” You responded with a big smile.

“Just catching up?” He asked looking between you and Cal and you both nodded.

“Yep, she’s telling me how she’s basically becoming this event planning tycoon.” Cal said and Harry nodded.

“Yeah, the business is growing fast.”

“Maybe we can even hire her for some of the office events or shindigs for clients.” He suggested and Harry’s eyebrows arched up.

“That’s actually quite a brilliant idea, Cal. We just might have to…” Harry hummed with a smile at you and you shook your head.

“You guys are crazy.” You chuckled and they smiled at each other.

“Well, I uh, I need to be getting back up there.” Cal said, “But it was nice running into you. I’m happy things are going well, Y/N.” Cal said and you nodded.

“Yeah, it was great to see you. And I’m also glad to hear you’re doing well, Cal. See you around.” You smiled.

“Later, Cal.” Harry said with a smile and Caleb waved once more before he hurried into the elevator before the doors closed. “Was that alright? Seeing him?” Harry asked as soon as he was gone and you nodded.

“Yeah, we were just catching up. Are you good? That wasn’t weird for you?”

“Not at all. We’re on good terms here as well.” Harry assured and you smiled.

“Good. Now, where are we eating?”

“I managed to get a last minute reservation at Carbone, know you’ve been dying to get more of that mushroom fettuccine.” He said with a smile.

“Ooh, yes! Yummm!” You said with excitement and headed off. 

Your lunch had been delicious, as you expected, and your shopping was also going really well. It had been very productive thus far since you had managed to secure the gift you wanted for your mom with ease. You’d also found something for Cece and Harry had managed to find something for Corey, his assistant. Corey had been recommended by Tamika when she put in her 2 weeks. She had been accepted to USC and from what you and Harry had heard last, she was kicking ass over there. But Corey had some big shoes to fill and he was doing an exceptional job, so Harry wanted to get him something to say thank you, even if it was as simple as a keyboard for his iPad. He could use it for school, it would come in handy for his note taking in his classes. Now you just needed to get your dad his gift. He had been wanting some cufflinks that matched with this tie clip that he had been gifted for his birthday a few years prior and after your mom had sent a picture, you were eager to find something that paired well with the help of some experts.

“Let’s go in here, this is the jeweler my client recommended.” You said to Harry who nodded and opened up the door for you to get inside and out of the cold New York air. You were greeted warmly and asked if you needed help with anything the second you got inside the store. “I actually do need help, need to see about some cufflinks.” You said to the man and he nodded and guided you both over to one of the cases across the store.

“Felicity will be able to help you with that. She’ll be with you in a moment.” The man assured and then excused himself.

“You alright here, baby?” He asked you and you nodded, “OK, gonna wander around, see if I can get my mum anything while we’re here.” Harry said.

“OK.” You smiled and let him go off. Moments later you were joined by the saleswoman and consultant, Felicity. You were able to show her the picture your mom had sent and she lit up assuring you that she had several options to show you for your dad. 

“Some of the pieces are actually part of the new inventory which we haven’t quite finished unpacking for display.” She explained, “I’m gonna go locate them back there OK? In the meantime feel free to just look around, I’ll come find you when I have the selection ready for you to look over.”

“Thank you so much, Felicity.” You smiled at the older woman and she gave you a friendly smile before disappearing to the back of the store. You turned around and darted your eyes around until you found Harry at a display case at the end of the store furthest from you. You made your way over quietly, but he seemed to notice your presence nearing him as he turned when you were just a few feet from him. “What you looking at there?” You asked as you came up to the case.

“Rings.” He said softly and you peered down at the glimmering accessories displayed beautifully beneath the spotless glass panel. You couldn’t help but notice that these were specifically engagement rings as the regular accessory rings were in the next case over from what you could see as you glanced to your right briefly. “That one’s nice, no?” He asked you as he nodded towards the case.

“Which one?”

“Second row, fifth one in.” He said and you searched and nodded.

“It looks vintage-y, that’s what I like about it. Don’t love that cut though.” You said.

“The princess cut?” He asked and you nodded.

“S’too boxy, don’t you think?”

“Yeah, you’re right.” He hummed.

“The one two rows beneath it is gorgeous.” You mused and he smiled.

“The oval one in gold?” He asked and you nodded and hummed in confirmation, “Yeah, quite like that one actually. It’s very nice.” He mused as he looked it over.

“Would you like to inspect any of the rings more closely or try anything on?” Suddenly one of the salespersons appeared seemingly out of thin air.

“Oh n-”

“Yes, please.” Harry’s voice slightly overpowered yours before he turned and smiled at you briefly before turning back to the clerk and pointing at the one you had said you liked. The man was careful as he removed it from the back velvet setting it was in and reached for the magnifying glass that was peeking out of the front pocket of his suit jacket.

“This is a fine choice. The main stone is 3 carats, ethically sourced, and it has wonderful clarity.” He said as he positioned the magnifying glass over the ring’s main stone, “Have a look.” He insisted and you both peered over. It looked like you were staring into a hall of a million mirrors, it was absolutely beautiful. “You don’t see too many engagement rings set in gold now a days, but it is making a come back. It gives them a generational kind of feel, I think. Like a priceless family heirloom.” He smiled at the two of you.

“Yeah.” You hummed in agreement with a smile before glancing up to the man.

“Would you like to try it on?” He asked and you glanced to Harry who smiled at you and shrugged, indicating that it was up to you. It was just so pretty that you couldn’t pass up the opportunity to try it on. Cal insisted that you keep your rings from your engagement and marriage, but you didn’t wear them anymore, they were in a safe in your apartment. But you had been wearing two rings for seven years and you did feel naked without them for the first few months after you agreed to divorce, but now it was fine. But a part of you missed having them on so you agreed.

“Sure.” You accepted happily. Cal hadn’t consulted with you on which ring he’d get you when he proposed. You still liked it, it just wasn’t something you would’ve chosen for yourself, unlike this ring, this ring was right in your wheelhouse.

“It helps a lot to see the different cuts on yourself. That way you know which ones flatter you most when the time comes to choose “the one”, you know?” He said as he extended his hand towards yours and you handed over your right hand without much thought.

“There’s only one “the one” ring. One ring to rule them all…” you said lowly as you glanced back at Harry knowingly as you quoted “Lord of the Rings” with a grin and Harry sputtered on a laugh and the salesman did as well.

“You’re a complete dork.” Harry murmured before kissing the side of your head, “S’one of the reasons I love you, though.”

“Pardon, but wrong hand, miss.” the salesman said and your eyebrows arched up before you and Harry chuckled.

“Right! Don’t know why I’m so nervous.” You chuckled in a bit of embarrassment as you handed over your left hand and Harry’s warm hand rubbed over your lower back a few times reassuringly.

“It can be nerve-wracking, it’s a big step getting engaged.” The man said and you hummed. Obviously, you and Harry were not getting engaged any time soon. You hadn’t even properly talked about marriage like that yet, this was just for fun…right? Suddenly the man gasped and you turned to him, “Would you look at that?” he mused in wonder, his bright eyes met with yours, “It’s like it was made for you. It even fits perfectly.” He pointed out with glee, “And the cut is very flattering on your hand. It looks very beautiful on you. You have good instincts for this.” He smiled up at you and you just chuckled bashfully. “What do you think, sir?” He asked Harry and you glanced back to him as well.

“I agree, I love it on you.” He smiled solely at you and you smiled back at him as your stomach did an unsettling flip that you couldn’t really focus on when the man spoke up again.

“Are you interested in seeing any other options similar to this one? We can find similar ones with different budgetary limits as well if you have a price point in mind? Or have you got any ideas for other styles or cuts you’d like to see? Maybe even see what wedding bands can match with the engagement ring?”

“Sorry, we’re actually just here to buy some cufflinks for my girlfriend’s father.” Harry explained, “We got a bit sidetracked over here. The rings are just so shiny and beautiful, it’s impossible not to come have a look at them more closely.” He said with a smile and the man hummed with a smile.

“Oh, I understand, could stand around here all day marveling. I’m sorry to have assumed. You are a lovely couple though. Maybe sometime in the future.” He said with a hopeful smile.

“Yeah, I’m sure.” Harry smiled, “Thank you though.”

“Let me give this back to you.” You said as you extended your hand out again and he chuckled.

“Of course, miss.” He said and carefully slipped the ring off of your finger, “Well in the future if you are taking things to the next level feel free to make an appointment with me, my name’s Dan. I’m the senior consultant specializing in engagement rings and wedding bands.” He explained as he set the ring back in it’s spot under the glass. “We do very thorough consultations for engagement rings if you so choose to buy with us.” He said as he extended his card to you, again he seemingly pulled it out of thin air. 

“Thank you.” Harry hummed with a smile as he took it and slipped it into his pant pocket.

“My pleasure. I hope you find everything to your satisfaction.” Dan smiled before hurrying off to help another customer a few cases down.

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking now?” Harry asked with a smile as you turned to him. The excitement and expectation in his eyes made your stomach start to flip for your heart rate to skyrocket.

“Ummm that Dan’s a magician? I mean he literally just conjured himself!” You said and Harry was silent for a few seconds before he knocked his head back in laughter.

“OK, right!?” He gasped and you giggled and nodded, “Like where the fuck did the business card come from? I was looking at him the entire time he was taking the ring off of you! Didn’t see him reach down into his pockets or anything once!” Harry told you with an amused look in his eyes. 

“Maybe he was a magician before he became an engagement ring consultant?”

“Like a serious one in Vegas or like for kid’s parties?” Harry asked and your eyebrows furrowed.

“All magicians are serious magicians, Harry.” You said to him in mock offense and he chuckled.

“Oh, alright well thanks for that tidbit.” He grinned.

“You’re welcome. Can’t go insulting magical careers based on the population they cater to, you muggle.” You teased and he rolled his eyes.

“Oh, excuse me…” he said sarcastically.

“I’m serious! A pediatric doctor is no less serious because they cater to children specifically, are they?” You questioned him and he smiled.

“You’re very right actually…” he pondered and you giggled, “And you’re also a very serious nuisance.” He said softly and you laughed and hugged him tight before leaning your head against his chest. You could hear his heart pounding intensely in it’s confines and it made you draw back from him as that nervous feeling started to swirl in your tummy again and caused you to feel a bit sick. It scared you that it was mostly a bad feeling, it wasn’t just nerves like you hoped when it first happened. “Hey, what’s wrong?” Harry asked you when he saw your smile fade away.

“Oh, just my stomach suddenly hurt.” You explained and he sighed.

“Did you forget your Lactaid pill? That fettuccine you had is drowned in cream sauce.” He said quietly and you sniggered.

“No, I didn’t forget it.” You assured through a giggle. “It’s gone now, I’m alright.” You said and he looked at you skeptically.

“You sure? We can just head home once you get the cufflinks if you’re not feeling well.” He suggested. You did have the rest of the day planned out. Harry had a few rental properties around town and you would be spending the night at one of the empty ones after dinner and visiting a comedy club with a few of his friends later tonight.

“I’m sure.” You smiled and he nodded. Just then Felicity called your name from behind the counter and you turned to her to see she had brought out a velvet cushion with at least a dozen cufflinks for you to look at, “Oh, look at these! Help me pick something, H.” You said to him and he nodded as he came closer to you and rested his hands at your hips as he peered over you, half-listening to what Felicity was saying to you. 

He couldn’t help it as he glanced past the cushion of cufflinks and right down at that ring you’d tried on. Dan hadn’t just been buttering you up for a potential sale when he said it was practically made for you, it really did look amazing on you. But then you got a little weird…when he’d asked you if you were thinking what he was thinking about and you deflected and started mucking about over Dan. So he quickly rejected any feelings of disappointment at your lack of seriousness over what he was trying to bring up to you and just bounced back with another playful comment about fucking Dan and his sleight of hand. It was odd to him because you two were obviously in love and your relationship was going incredibly well. But your reaction made him wonder if perhaps he was taking your future together more seriously than you were. It put an annoying and anxious weight over his chest that he had never felt with you before and it made him upset and a bit scared. He wanted to address it immediately but given your reaction to the implied situation and topic at hand he didn’t expect that you’d want to discuss it any time soon. So Harry did the one thing he knew wasn’t correct and ignored that nagging ache in his heart and just warded off all of the thoughts and things that were currently bothering him about this and focused on the task at hand, the cufflinks.

*************

“God, Cece it was absolutely mortifying!” You groaned with a frown before you just rolled over and buried your face in your pillow. Cece laughed from beside you and you pouted as you took a peek at her. “Don’t make fun.”

“I’m not! It’s just really funny actually.” She giggled and you groaned.

It had been a couple days since the ring incident at the jeweler and things had gotten a bit weird between you and Harry. Or maybe you just felt they had been weird after? You guys stuck to your plans with his friends and all but something just felt off to you. You had planned to spend the weekend together in the city, but the following day Harry said he had a work emergency come up and cancelled the rest of your plans at the last moment leaving you to have breakfast alone before you headed back to the suburbs on your own. He hadn’t been cold per se, but you knew Harry well and something had been a bit off after Friday. He barely got in touch with you for the rest of the day on Saturday, he only checked in to ensure you’d made it home safe. And now it was Sunday and all you’d gotten from him today so far was a “Have a good day” text. You had asked him how his work thing had gone and if he would be back in the area for dinner but he left you on read and that’s when you called Cece and she immediately came over.

“It’s not! Like I just…I freaked out, you know? Like I thought we were just messing around not…like…ughhh.” You groaned again in frustration and Cece sighed and gave you a sympathetic smile.

“Do you really think he’s upset at you over that?” She asked you and you shrugged.

“I don’t know, but that’s the only thing that like…that stands out from our normal interactions and conversations so I’m pretty sure.”

“Just ask him!” Cece advised with some irritation at your obstinance. “It’s that fucking simple.”

“No! What if it’s just a work or family thing and I’m just jumping to conclusions?” You asked her.

“Well you never know until you ask…” Cece said again and you sighed and glanced up to the ceiling. “And even if he’s not upset at that, clearly something about that is weighing on you. So what is that about for you? Like are you not sure of a future with Harry? Like maybe you’re concerned that he’s at a different level than you are in the relationship?” She fed a few ideas hoping you’d resonate with something and bite.

“It’s just that…like I’ve only been divorced a year, you know?” You said and Cece nodded, “I love Harry, so much! I need him like the air I breathe but I just…” you paused, “Things are just really great now, you know? What if…” you trailed off as your eyes welled up with tears, “What if marriage changes things between us, you know?” You asked in a small voice, “Like obviously I jumped into things with Cal so quickly…I didn’t take my time to make such a big decision, we were also together about a year before he proposed and look how that ended! I don’t want to do the same thing with Harry and have it all go to shit!” You were crying now and Cece frowned and just tutted and pulled you into her chest as you cried, “I can’t lose him, Cece. He’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me, I can’t.” You sobbed.

“Oh babe…” she hummed quietly as she gently scratched at your head. “I know that the future can be scary, but what you have with Harry is not what you had with Cal. He’s a different person, it’s a different relationship. And you’re a different person too, babe. You were fucking 23 when you started dating Cal, you were half kid, half grown up! You had just moved out of your parents’ house, you hardly had any life experience…” she reminded you, “Things are very different for you now. You’re more mature now so you’re going to have the right amount of doubt and ask the right questions. And I know you won’t be victim to the rose colored glasses of your relationship with Harry this time around.” She pointed out and you sighed as you pulled back and looked into her eyes.

“One would fucking hope…” you sighed and she smiled at you with sympathy, “I know that maybe I didn’t love Cal anymore by the time we divorced but it still took a toll, you know?” You explained and she nodded.

“Of course, babe. It’s a lot to go through.” She said and you nodded, “D-do you feel like maybe you rushed into this relationship with Harry?” Cece asked you and you sighed.

“I don’t even know anymore! Like at the time it didn’t feel that way…we just have so much chemistry and it was so easy, you know? Like was I on an oxytocin high from being with him that I just said yes to him?” You asked and Cece frowned.

“Did you feel any hesitation when he asked you to be his girlfriend?” Cece asked and you shook your head. “So the doubt is new then.” She said and you frowned.

“It’s not doubt…I mean I know he’s the one for me! It’s just…I’m scared.” You admitted with a small voice, “I’m scared that…that I’m repeating history.”

“Would you want to marry him if he asked?”

“Of course! I’d just need to have a talk with him about it to ensure that what happened with Cal doesn’t happen again. Like we haven’t even talked about that yet and next thing I know I’m trying on an engagement ring! It was just a lot…”

“Well maybe that’s what he was trying to do after? Not necessarily talk about when you’d get engaged or even a timeline. Maybe he just wanted to see if you were thinking similarly about what you saw for your future together?” She suggested, “Then you went and made a joke of it and well…I can see how that might possibly hurt his feelings or just make him pull back a bit to gain some perspective about where you two truly stand, you know?” Cece said and you sighed as those pieces started fitting together into a picture. A picture where you were the unserious asshole and he was just the lovely man that he’s always been.

“God, I am the worst…” you groaned.

“No you’re not, Y/N. You’re still healing from before. Now, that doesn’t mean that you jumped the gun with Harry. It just means that your last marriage was shit and obviously you’re going to be a bit more apprehensive when the topic comes up this time around.” She comforted you with a soft and caring smile.

“Thanks.” You sniffled and she nodded.

“Now, if I were you I’d try to talk to Harry about this as soon as possible just to clear the air. Just ask and if it’s not anything to do with that or with you then at least you’ve done some of the soul searching so that if it ever comes up again you don’t deflect by calling him a muggle.” She said playfully and you shrieked and covered your face with your hands.

“So embarrassing!” You wailed as Cece just laughed.

**********

You had texted Harry and told him that you needed to talk to him when he was next available. You waited about an hour before he responded and said that he also needed to talk to you about something and that he could come to yours in the evening and you agreed. After that response your afternoon with Cece was just riddled with anxiety; she tried to talk you down, but you were a wreck and convinced yourself that Harry was just coming over to dump you in person. She had left you about fifteen minutes before he was due at yours. You had taken a CBD gummy to calm your nerves and even had a quick, warm body shower to help expel some tension, but the erratic beating of your heart was just too much for you to control. When your doorbell rang, signaling Harry’s arrival, you took slow deep breaths as you made your way across your apartment and finally unlocked the door.

“Hey, come in.” You said with a small and nervous smile and he thanked you quietly as he stepped inside. 

He immediately got to toeing off his shoes and you just hurried over to the living room area while he finished up. When Harry finally made his way over he saw you staring at him anxiously and it put an awful feeling in his stomach. Maybe you were going to break up with him for the way he had been acting the last couple days. He hadn’t meant to shut down and pull away like that after the incident at the jeweler, but he was suddenly faced with the harsh reality that maybe you both were on completely different pages about your relationship and where you wanted it to go eventually. He knew that the mere act of withdrawing from someone who loves and trusts you instead of communicating openly and honestly can just drive an irreparable wedge between two people and he hoped to the high heavens that he hadn’t done that.

“Ummm, can I sit?” He asked as he pointed to the spot beside you and you nodded.

“Yeah, of course.” You assured him and he sat down but angled his body towards yours and then you moved around to do the same. You were criss-crossed and looking down at the heart-patterned fuzzy socks on your feet for a moment before he decided to break the silence.

“What did you want to talk to me about?” He asked nervously and you bit your lip.

“I’m ummm, still gathering my thoughts a bit. You can go first if you know what you want to say.” You offered and he nodded. He was nervous too, but at least if he got to go first and was just super genuine and apologetic you wouldn’t dump him if that was your plan for this conversation.

“OK sure.” He agreed and exhaled before looking into your eyes, “I’m really sorry for the way I’ve been acting the last couple of days. I lied about that work emergency I said I had on Saturday because I ummm….” He sighed, “I just got a bit…well, not a bit, I was -er I am upset at you for ummm…for what happened at the jeweler on Friday.” He said and you frowned, “I was…I was hoping that after having such an intimate and well, serious moment like that w-with the engagement ring? I hoped that we could maybe have a serious conversation about our future together, like see what our goals were and all that. But then you just went and deflected it by making a total joke of it and it…hurt my feelings and made me feel like maybe you were not as serious about me as I am about you. I should’ve said something when we got a moment to ourselves but I just thought you would deflect again or make light of what happened and I got nervous and just…shut down instead.” He explained with a frown and you immediately reached your hand out to his and he took it immediately.

“I’m really sorry, Harry. I also wanted to talk to you about that same thing.” You said and he nodded, urging you to go on. “I know what I did and I’m so sorry for hurting your feelings. I just…got really uncomfortable and freaked out a bit when I realized the conversation you were wanting to have with me.” You explained and he looked even more disappointed and you spoke up again quickly, “Not because the idea of having a future with you makes me uncomfortable! But because in my experience marriage doesn’t really guarantee anything…” you explained and his eyes softened as yours welled up again, “I mean, my entire marriage was a total lie! We had been so great before we took that step and it scares me to think that maybe marriage is the problem and that it’ll just ruin what we have together. And like…when Cal proposed to me we had also been together for about a year and I suddenly felt like I was in a re-run! And the last thing I want is to repeat history with you. I mean, I’ve only been divorced a year, so I suddenly felt like once again I was just jumping the gun because I was high on love or something and I started to doubt myself and my choices. Not you, never you though. J-just me and my judgement.” You explained with tearful eyes upon admitting that to him. You hated feeling like you couldn’t be objective and up until that point you were so confident that you had been objectively doing what was best for you by allowing yourself to fall for Harry.  

“Fuck…I wasn’t even thinking about that, baby. I completely forgot that you were even married before! Jesus… I’m sorry. I wasn’t even considering that or how you might feel about it.” He shook his head incredulously and clearly disappointed in himself for putting you in that position. You smiled despite your glossy eyes, because his reaction alone assured you that you were with the right person. Despite all of the love and feelings tangled up in this, Harry was the best thing for you, even objectively speaking. “Call me crazy, but to me it sometimes feels like we’ve been together forever.” He confessed with a timid smile and you squeezed his hand and nodded.

“Yeah, it does to me too.” You agreed earnestly, “I’m so sorry for making light of such a special moment, Harry. It truly was so special, it felt so…real and possible and promising, then I went and…ruined it by mentioning fucking magic…”

“It’s impressive how mentioning the magic truly sucked it out of the moment.” He mused with a grin and you chuckled and shook your head with embarrassment. 

“I’m sorry…” you sighed again and he chuckled.

“S’alright, baby. I’m glad we’ve cleared the air.” He said looking more relaxed all around.

“Me too. Can you forgive me though, for making light of such a serious moment and of dismissing what you were so clearly feeling then? I promise I’ll be more communicative next time I feel any type of apprehension about anything.” You said and he smiled and leaned forward, grabbing your face gently and kissing your lips quickly.

“Of course I forgive you.” He assured you and you smiled, “Though, the thing you truly owe me an apology for, which you have even failed to mention during this very serious conversation, is the fact that you called me a bloody muggle.” He said with a grin and you giggled, “I’ve never been called a muggle before. That was your true crime.” He joked, lightening the mood between you two. You laughed lightly at this fact.

“Well I’m sorry for calling you a muggle. Out of anyone in the world, I am more than aware that you truly do have the magic in all the right places.” You said with a slightly suggestive grin and he chuckled and kissed you again.

“That I do.” He mumbled against your lips with a smirk and you kissed him back before you pulled back from it with smiles.

“Now, if you want a do over of that conversation I’m more than prepared to talk about it.” You said and he smiled.

“Yeah?” He asked and you nodded bashfully, “Well, obviously I want to marry you.” He said and your smile widened. “I just ummm…I wanted to know if you wanted the same thing down the line?” He asked and you nodded.

“I do.” You agreed.

“Great! Umm…so obviously this is uncharted territory to me, but you’ve had experience in this, which I completely failed to consider before…” he sighed, “But ummm…what would you want out of a marriage with me when we get to that stage? Or in your eyes what would a marriage look like?” He asked you earnestly. You had never been asked that before. Is that what people did when they talked about their future? If so, Cal had skipped all of this…he had told you once after a weekend shag-a-thon that he would marry you one day and that was about all of the discussion you’d had about it. 

“Ummm…obviously, don’t cheat on me.” You said with a smile and he nodded.

“Never.” He assured you.

“I think we’ve struck a really good time balance in the last few months with our work and our time together and with our friends. I would like to continue having open and honest communication…” you said and he hummed in agreement, “I would expect to maybe have a bit more discussion and input about our own professional endeavors. Like if my little company gets bigger and in more demand I would certainly talk to you about it before just jumping into all this extra work that would take away from our time together, you know? I think that’s more from my experience with Cal…like I honestly just believed that his work was just taking all of his time. I didn’t have the slightest clue about anything going on at the firm. He kept me in the dark and so it was just so much easier for him to lie to me and I would be none the wiser.” 

“Yeah.” Harry said with a frown as his thumb ran over your knuckles gently. 

“What else…” you hummed, “Oh, the finances bit!” You said and he nodded, “I like what Cal and I had arranged. We both contributed pretty equitably. We did have a joint account for that, but we also had our individual money and savings. I mean, we were a bit closer in earnings though, so that might look very different for us when we get to that point. But having some financial independence is a must for me.” You explained.

“I completely agree with you there.” Harry said and you smiled.

“Also kids. I mean, at least one…maybe two?” You said and his smile widened and he nodded, “I would expect that you be just as present and available for our kids as I would be when you’re at home. I mean, the home is a shared space, so I wouldn’t want to be like a wife, maid, cook, nanny, and business woman. I would expect that we share the load and that each of us took the same ownership over our home and our children.” You said and he nodded. “Also, I’d expect that we don’t let the romance die.” You said and he smiled.

“Wouldn’t dream of that, my love.” He assured you.

“I guess the overarching theme here is that I would want a marriage to look more like a partnership this time around. I don’t want to feel like I’m the only one stoking it to life all the time. I want to feel loved, seen, and supported by my partner. What about you? Any expectations of me?” You asked him.

“I agree with everything you’ve said. I want to marry you because I want to have a life with you. I want to be present for you and for our family. I want to share our time together as much as possible. I know that sometimes things can happen and we can sort of veer, so I would expect you to let me know when I’m not doing my part. I also expect that you allow me to do the same for you. If we do have kids I want to be very hands on, so I want to be able to choose how to parent with you. I want our goals for our family to align as much as possible, you know?” He asked and you nodded. “Obviously, the nitty gritty of each of these will not be figured out until we start to cross those bridges, but overall I would want our marriage to basically be like our safe haven from everything else. I want it to just be us and our family after a long day. It’s the place where I want to feel safe and comforted and loved as well. And I would want our kids to feel that too, to feel like being with their family is a breath of fresh air.” He smiled and you did as well.

“I love you so much, you know that?” You hummed happily.

“I love you too.” He whispered before bringing up your hand and kissing the top of it. “And ummm, I realize that you’re still healing from the disappointment of your last marriage, so I don’t want to push you or rush you through that. I mean, I would marry you next month if you wanted!” He chuckled, “But I want you to feel ready for that step with me. So whenever you are, just let me know and we can…call Dan, the magic man and see about some engagement rings.” He said with a bashful, but hopeful little smile and you just surged forward and hugged him, tackling him down into the couch and he chuckled as he hugged you back.

“I’m gonna keep working through it for us, OK? I promise.” You said to him quietly.

“I know, baby.” He hummed as he rubbed over your back, “God, I thought you were going to dump me…”

“Oh my god, I thought the same thing about you!” You sniggered and then pressed yourself up to look at him and he hugged around your waist lightly, “Was prepared to fight for you tooth and nail.”

“Oh same, baby. Can’t let you go that easily.” He hummed and you grinned.

“I’m going to kiss you now, OK?” You said and he nodded before you dipped down to attach your lips to his eagerly.

It was easy for your kisses to start to get more and more obscene the longer your lips moved together. Your hips were moving over his, grinding your centers together heatedly, longing for some much needed friction. Feeling his erection growing and stiffening up in his joggers was driving you crazy. You wanted to rip his clothes off and go to town on him. You moaned into the kiss as his hands cupped your ass and guided your pace. He slightly shifted and then hummed in delight as you were now perfectly resting over his cock with each grind of your hips. You bit down on his bottom lip, sucking gently, teasing with your tongue but not slipping it into his mouth. He was growing impatient, his fingers digging into your plush bottom indicated his need for you to do more.

“Need something?” You asked with a playful grin and he nodded. You knelt up so that you were straddling his lap now and peering down at him. “What is it, baby? What do you want?” You asked him softly. Suddenly his hand was gripping the back of your neck and pushing you down into a kiss. It was sloppy and urgent and you giggled into it.

“Suck me off.” he mumbled against your mouth. “Please.” He tagged on after a few moments of your eyes just staring into his playfully.

“Alright, only because you asked so nicely…” you said with a smile and he immediately bit down on his bottom lip when he felt your fingers dancing along the elastic band of his joggers.

“Mmm…on second thought turn around. Wanna taste you too.” He said with a smirk that just about melted you from the inside out.

“Definitely not gonna argue with that…” you mused and quickly got off of him and of the couch to get all the clothes off of your lower half. Harry also took advantage and did the same before tugging you back over to him and kissing you deeply before instructing you to get back over him again. You were cautious and allowed him to guide your movements until your wet center was being tickled by his puffs of air. It was making you shiver as a chill traveled down your spine until your skin was covered in goosebumps.

“So fucking pretty and so fucking wet for me.” He hummed, his lips continued tickling your labia as he spoke against you. He hadn’t applied enough pressure for you to feel him against any of the more sensitive spots, but it was keeping you on edge as he kissed over where your entrance was very lightly.

“Baby…” you sighed with impatience.

“Don’t whine at me, use your mouth like I want you to.” He said and you moaned before just taking a hold of his cock and dipping the head between your lips. You gave him a nice, hard suck and he moaned lowly against you. You swore that you felt the vibration of his moan tickle your clit, “Fuck take more, baby…shit just like that. So fucking good with that mouth.” He sighed in pleasure as you sunk down half way and stroked the rest of him with your hand.

You moaned when you felt his fingers slightly spread your folds apart before he started laving from your entrance to your clit, his pace was set to that of your sucking on his cock. He was so good at this, he knew all of your weak spots well. You ground against him when he pushed his thick, hot tongue into your entrance. He plunged it in and out, in and out, over and over…you were so sensitive right at your entrance, it was making your head spin and you started to sink lower on his cock. He started to thrust up into your mouth, making you drool down his cock. When his fingers found your clit you moaned around him which caused him to groan against you.

“Fuck…” he grunted as he kissed at your cheek and let his tongue wander up to your bum. You shivered as he ran his tongue over your ribbed little hole as he sunk his thick digits into your sopping entrance. He twisted his fingers a bit until he felt yours walls clamp down around his fingers hard, “Right there, baby?” You moaned in response and he chuckled and then hissed when you sunk all the way down his cock, “Oh fuck…fuck yeah…” he hissed as his abs tensed up when his tip collided with the soft back of your mouth. His fingers kept prodding into that spot that had your arousal dripping from you and it built your orgasm quickly. He always found your g-spot and it did wonders for your orgasms.

You were nearly gagging on his cock as he thrust up into your throat, seeking out his own pleasure as you started to lose your rhythm with how good his fingers were working you. You were trying your best to breathe properly through your nose but it was hard to and the lack of proper airflow was making you feel a little woozy, but you were thriving off it because you were feeling the pleasure far more than normal.

“Shit, I’m gonna come…need you to come for me first, baby. Please…” he panted and you moaned around him and pulled up to focus on his tip as your hand stroked him expertly. It brought you joy to see his thighs trembling as he tried to hold his orgasm back, “Baby…baby, please…” he chuckled and you let your tongue rub into his slit, tasting his slightly salty pre-come starting to pool at it, “Oh fuck…” he groaned and he had to pull his fingers from you and just grabbed your thighs as his head rolled back and he chuckled, the sound melting into a grunt until you felt his sperm starting to shoot into your mouth. You swallowed what you could, but could feel some spilling out of the side of your mouth. You then slowly pulled off but kept stroking very slowly, “C-can’t believe you made me come first…” he chuckled breathily, “You’re gonna get it.” He panted and you grinned mischievously.

“It was apology head.” You hummed, “Think I owe you a bit more apologizing though…” you suggested mischievously and he was about to respond but you dipped down and sucked around his sensitive tip before he could even stop you. He started to laugh a bit at the sensitivity and breathily begged you to ease up as the tingles and overstimulation seemed to run an electric current down to his toes. He was trying to mind you as he writhed a bit beneath you.

“Baby!” He groaned through gritted teeth and just as you were about to let him go and cut him a break he moaned, “Fuck, I’mgonnacomeagain…” he slurred his words as he squeezed his eyes shut. His thighs were completely tense, his legs buckled as he groaned, “Shit baby, don’t stop…Don’t stop, don’t stop!” He begged and seconds later you felt his second orgasm pooling into your mouth. Once again, he was flooding it up with his generous creamy load and when you could tell he was done you pulled off of him with a satisfied smile as you swallowed it all down. Before you could even move he landed a sharp slap to your ass that made you straighten up and he chuckled as you glanced back and shot him glare, he was smirking at you in the same manner you were smirking at him. Then you knelt up and carefully got off the couch, you were going to offer him some water when he shot up and grabbed your hand and you glanced over at him.

“What, baby?” You asked with a smile.

“You’re not getting off that easy.” He smirked, “Come on, take a seat.” He said with an inviting smile. 

“A seat?” You asked him with a smirk.

“Yeah love, on my face.” He grinned and well, he didn’t have to entice you any further. He was quick to get one of your decorative pillows under his head before you were lowering yourself down against his mouth. He kissed at you and tongued at your clit a few times and you watched as he got lost in you. You were letting him do his thing, but then his eyes blinked open and met your entranced gaze, “Use me to get off.” he mumbled against your sticky pussy, “Come on.” He encouraged. 

You could see the lust in his eyes, he was hungry for it as much as you were. So without apprehension you slowly let more of your weight down over him. Your teeth were pinching down on your bottom lip as you slightly ran your folds over his mouth and he immediately got to work and you let out a sigh of relief as he sloppily lapped at you.The best thing about this was that he was really into it and it made the experience that much more pleasurable. He had his arms wrapped around your thighs as his neck craned up a bit to get even closer if possible. The wet and slurping sounds of him feasting on you were riling you up and you couldn’t stop yourself as you started to grind down against him. You let your head tilt back as your clit bumped into his nose over and over again until you were seeing stars. You were sure you were suffocating him beneath you, but he was holding you down so tightly you wouldn’t be able to really pull away if you wanted. You looked down at him with pleasure drunk eyes to see that he was looking at you just the same way and you groaned through a smile as you guided yourself a bit lower so that your clit was over his mouth.

“Suck it please, I’m getting close.” You requested and he groaned and opened up before latching his mouth over the top half of your pussy. You immediately moaned when the pressure of his sucks started to make your clit throb incessantly.

  “Mmmm, just like that, baby…You’re doing so good. Fuck it feels so good.” You praised him as your fingers raked into his hair. Your eyebrows creased in when you felt the tip of his tongue slowly start to flick against your sensitive little bud every time he sucked it in. You were gripping his hair harder and harder the closer you got to your orgasm and he moaned at the sting of your pull on his thick curls. “Oh…you-you’re gonna make me come!” You alerted him and he started going a bit faster. Your breath was hitching as that unmistakeable warmth swimming in your belly started to spread all throughout your body. It was making you feel hot all over, “Yeah H, keep going like that…shit, just like that! Yes, baby!” You panted out your urgency. 

Your body broke out in goosebumps as you teetered on the edge of it all, your tummy was fluttering and your thighs were quaking around his head as you clung to the feeling of that little spark that was about to ignite and make your entire body burst with the most sensational pleasure. It was until he very gently grazed his teeth over your unsuspecting little bundle that you started to come undone. You felt as if you had no control of your body as your writhed over him hard. You were completely selfish about it as you rode his face to get off.

Harry’s hands slid up and under your top and pinched at your nipples hard as you came undone over his mouth. You were moaning, praising, and cursing him relentlessly as fireworks burst behind your eyelids. You knew you were being louder than you were when you guys were at yours, but you couldn’t help it. And even still, you could hardly hear yourself over the intense  ringing of your ears as your body fought it’s best to keep you coherent. You were drowning in the beautiful, warm waves of pleasure with each gentle suck he gave to your oversensitive clit. Even when you were shivering and gasping from the overstimulation you couldn’t stop. You couldn’t pull away from him. It all felt so good, you were lost and floating in pure bliss. Slowly, your orgasm started to dwindle down and you started to snigger just as he had when it was getting to be too much. When you began twitching and jerking over him from the sensitivity, he was far kinder than you were though and opted to just kiss at your messy folds delicately and lovingly until you were good and ready to get off of him. 

His big, warm hands kneaded at your breasts before tickling down your abdomen and thighs. Once again you were covered in goosebumps at the lovely, little tickles of his gentle fingers over your heated skin. You could let him do this all day if you could, but you needed to let him breathe properly, so you gathered your strength and knelt up a bit. He huffed and craned his neck up to give your swollen and slicked up pussy one final kiss before he let go of your thighs and allowed you to sink down and kiss him deeply.

“Thank you.” You whispered against his mouth and he smiled.

“No, no, no. Thank you.” He insisted with a grin and you giggled and kissed his chin.

“Have you had dinner?” You asked.

“Ummm…I just ate.” He said with a smug expression and you rolled your eyes playfully at him, “You should’ve seen that coming, baby.” He chuckled.

“I really should have…” you laughed breathily, “Seriously though. I didn’t because I was nervous for our talk.” You explained.

“I did, but we can order something in or go pick something up. M’feeling a little peckish.” He said.

“What about phở? S’quite cold. I could use something warm.”

“OK, maybe I can eat again.” He chuckled and you smiled.

“The place I like doesn’t deliver, we’ll have to order and carry out. Might be like 20-30 minutes?”

“Yeah, that’s alright.” He assured.

Soon he was getting dressed and hurrying to rinse of his face while you placed your order. Then you did the same as him and just decided to remove your makeup since it was getting late. When you emerged from your bathroom you saw Harry sprawled out on your bed scrolling through his phone and you just went over and straddled his lap again. He immediately dropped his phone and hugged you as you rested over him. 

“You really want to marry me?” You asked quietly and he smiled.

“Yeah, baby. I really fucking do.” He responded, “Been waiting my whole life for you.” He hummed as he caressed your back lightly.

“I think I have been waiting for you too.” You said softly and he kissed the top of your head a few times which made you smile.

You had no idea what kind of good karma you had accumulated throughout your life to deserve someone like Harry, but you were so glad that you had him in your life. He truly was your other half. You’d loved others before, but this was so different than all the other times. Finally, everything you gave was being reciprocated how you needed it to be. He made you feel important, safe, and cared for in a way that you hadn’t felt since you were a child. It was comforting to be around someone who made you feel that way. He often told you that he felt the same with you and nothing could make you happier than knowing that he felt your love as well. Harry was definitely more of a physical touch type of person, which you were a quality time person, but those two seemed to go hand in hand. You could lay in silence with him like this for hours, just being close to him, being in his presence for whatever amount of time always made you feel better.  

…. DECEMBER ….

You were currently getting ready for Harry’s firm’s Holiday party. A thing you had always wondered about but had never been invited to when you were with Cal. You were very excited because Harry told you it was quite lavish this year, especially after the very successful year he’d had. It was going to be formal/black tie optional because he really wanted to treat his employees after all of their hard work and effort.

Typically he gave a budget to each department and they would choose how to celebrate or if they just wanted to give out bonuses to their people. But he wanted to celebrate every single person who put in effort for him and his family’s company and give everyone bonuses, or at least that what you suggested and he took that suggestion. From the top executives to the interns who did the boring paperwork and coffee runs. Every person counted and he wanted them to feel that. He had asked you to work with Corey to vet a few caterers. 

He had hired a planner already for the organization and decor because he didn’t want you fretting over all of this, he wanted you to enjoy as a guest. Nevertheless, knowing this was your niche, he still ran all of the design elements and ideas by you which he knew would make you so excited. When he looked through the selection of caterers the planner offered he wasn’t really impressed. Since he didn’t find what he was looking for he of course he asked you and well now, everything was absolutely perfect. The party was later in the afternoon in the same building the firm was in, but on the top floor. It had been converted into an event hall the year prior and it was the perfect location as the mostly all glass walls gave breathtaking views of the city. In preparation for this most lavish event, you and Harry had been lazing around and leaving everything in the hands of the planner.

You had decided to make a whole weekend of it and stayed over at one of his for rent apartments in the city with him. It was lovely and you were just laying in the big, comfy bed as you looked through some emails from potential clients wanting to hire you for their special events. It was around noon when Harry finally got out of bed and he’d only done so because he still wasn’t sure what he would be wearing that night. He had brought along two options and he wanted to get your opinion on what would be the best look for the party.

“Baby, what do you think?” Harry asked you as he emerged in a classic black tuxedo and you glanced up from your laptop and then your eyes widened a bit before you smirked.

“Okay, James Bond! I see you…” You hummed at him and he chuckled and glanced down bashfully, shaking his head at your nonsense, “Christ, look at you.” You whispered in awe as you got out of bed and hurried over to him.

“Like it?” He asked.

“Oh man, do I…” you said as you straightened out the bowtie just a bit.

“I also brought a gray one that-”

“No, no. Wear the black one.” You said decisively with a smile.

“Yeah?”

“Definitely. It’s so classic and ummm, we’ll also match.” You said with a big smile, your excitement was shimmering in your eyes.

“Like a proper couple.” He said and you nodded giddily. “What dress did you end up getting?” He asked you.

“The Sau Lee one? Remember s’black with a big bow in the front?”

“Mmmm…faintly.” He said and you smiled.

“Should I try it on for you?” You asked coyly. And he gave you an expression that screamed ‘obviously’. “OK, let me do that. Go wait on the bed.” You instructed and hurried into the closet. 

The surprise you had for him was that you’d gotten some lingerie specifically for when you got back home. You hadn’t picked a dress with a bow as the top for nothing! You wanted him to feel like you were the present he got to unwrap on Christmas morning. Moments later you were buck naked and just slipping into the dress to show him. You had every intention of getting back into your PJ’s until you had to shower and get ready for the evening. You jumped around a bit, grunting as you tried to get the zip up.

“Need help?” He called out.

“I’ve got it!” You assured him and after a few moments you were smiling at your reflection with complete satisfaction before heading out of the large walk-in closet and into the bedroom.

“Oh, baby…” Harry exhaled and shook his head as his smile widened.

“What?” You giggled.

“How am I supposed to see you walking around like that all night and do nothing about it?” He chuckled and you smile widened.

“You’ll just have to be patient.” You said to him and he chuckled.

“I will try my best. My god, you’re perfect.” He hummed and you were literally buzzing with excitement.

“I’m gonna wear these long diamond drop earrings I picked up at a Francesca’s a few years back. Been trying to find a thing to wear them for and I finally can! Oh, I also got these black satin gloves that I think would make it look that much more fancy and that would look cute with a diamond bracelet I borrowed from Cece-”

“Cece has a diamond bracelet?” He asked you and you nodded.

“She has sugar daddies in powerful places!” You said matter-of-factly.

“The more I learn about her the more fascinating she becomes…like there’s gonna be a film about her life at some point.”

“Oh, for sure…” You chuckled and he smiled.

“Well I say yes, go for the whole look! Gotta commit to it, love.”

“Mmmm, you’re right. We’re gonna look so cute. We’ll have to have the photographers take nice pictures of us.”

“Definitely. Also, I know it would push us over budget a bit, but Corey talked me into the slow-mo 360 photo op thing so we’ll have that too.” He said.

“Nice, Corey…that’s gonna be great!” You grinned and he nodded.

  “Yeah, it was pretty sick. OK, now go change before we have to get you a new dress for tonight on account of me tearing it off of you.” He said and you cackled as you hurried back to the closet to get changed.

Though you knew he was being a little theatrical, there was a very real possibility that he would do just as he said; when he was in the mood he could be ravenous. You could be too, especially when it came to him. But he had proven this to you over and over again, even on that first time you hooked up with him. He had gone completely overboard, not that you didn’t benefit from it, but based on how things had been with you before it was a lot. And now you had built your stamina to better match his own.

It was around 2pm when you got in the shower. You and Harry were supposed to arrive at 4:30 so you had to hurry it up a bit. Even though you had begged him not to, he followed you into the shower and you had to pry him off of you to be able to get out. But when you were free you got to drying up, moisturizing, and getting your lingerie on. You wouldn’t be wearing a bra with your dress so you had on a deep red mesh thong, imprinted with black little hearts and the edges outlining the mesh were frilled. They were so cute and hyperfeminine. Best part was that you had a shade of red lipstick that matched the lingerie you were wearing as well. It wasn’t crazy lingerie but you loved the idea of having a horny little secret all night long. Maybe you’d tell him when you were riding up on the elevator. Tell him that you had a little treat for him at the end of the night… It would undoubtedly rile him up and keep him on edge.

*************

And rile him up you did. You actually had very punctual guests and so you actually got straight to greeting just minutes after you arrived. Of course, you were sat beside each other at dinner, but he was talking mostly to his colleague on his left and you to his colleague on your right. When dinner was cleared, everyone was asked to huddle around the screen at the Dj booth for a little slide show of the year in review all the while the event staff cleared the tables of the china quickly. Harry gave a small little speech about how grateful he was for everyone before letting them know that their night was their own from that point on.

There were the photo ops, a couple games, a few dessert tables, and of course dancing to a live big band ensemble. As you made your rounds you eventually ran into Cal and his date, Melissa, which seemingly was a bit older than you were, which was good for him. She was a very sweet woman from the short conversation you’d had and Cal seemed to be in a great mood with her around.

For a while, you and Harry kept getting swept away from each other, but that didn’t mean that your eyes weren’t constantly meeting, your gazes simmering with longing. Your eyes were hazy with lust, it was making your blood thump harder and faster through your veins. You were smoldering with desire for him, you’d been lusting after him all day and you were reaching a boiling point. You caught him raking his eyes down your plump-as-a-peach ass while his top row of teeth sunk into his plush bottom lip. You grinned and when your gazes met he signaled you to look right with his eyebrows and you saw that it was the exit of the salon. You bit your lip and nodded. You excused yourself from your conversation and hurried off to meet Harry by the door. 

When you finally caught up with him you tugged at the sleeve of his jacket and he glanced back and smiled and his hand found found yours and pulled you out to the corridor. The bathrooms were out there, so there were plenty of people hanging around out there, but he just beelined it to the elevators. He pulled you ahead of him and then hugged you to his body from behind. He slid one if his hands down to your lower tummy and pushed against it, inevitably pressing your body back against his until your bottom was flush with his front and you smirked when you felt the outline of his boner rubbing up against your butt.

“Gonna fuck you till you leave a huge creamy mess all over my cock.” He whispered before nipping at the shell of your ear.

“Fuck me…” you exhaled as your walls fluttered beautifully, making a tingle zap through your body.

“Alright hurry, push the ‘door close’ button.” He mumbled as he rushed you inside as the doors opened. 

In moments you were shooting down floors at a time until you came to a slow and smooth stop on his floor. As soon as he got to the floor he hurried around the reception desk there and dug in his front pocket to grab his key card and give you access past the heavy glass door behind the main reception desk. You guys rushed through other communal areas surrounding a few clusters of cubicles and other offices on your way back to his office, he was all the way at the back of the space so after you got through the lounge and the back offices, you finally made it to the administrative offices. And at the far end of that area was his office. He pushed the door open and held it for you as you hurried in, then he came up behind you grabbing you by the hips and guiding you behind his desk, kicking the chair away from it. You could just barely see anything so you bumped into the frame and he winced for you.

“You alright, baby?” He asked as he tapped against the base of his desk lamp and a very dim, warm glow lit up his office.

“Yeah, H.” You whispered and he hummed and looked you over once more before he kissed at your neck sloppily.

“Can I ride this up past your hips?” He asked of your dress.

“Nuh-uh, gotta take it all off.” you said and he hummed.

“S’that alright? Can I?”

“Yeah, baby…there’s not a bow over my boobs for no reason…” you smirked and he chuckled.

“Oh okay, I see…” he mused with a smile, “You really are a gift, baby. So exquisite.” He hummed and found your zipper before tugging it slowly down your back. When he saw the edge of your thong he smiled. “And look at this…Can I take a picture?” He asked.

“A picture? For what?” You chuckled.

“To have a wank over you when needed, of course! What else for, baby?” He asked rhetorically and you chuckled again.

“Yeah, get my dress off first.” You said and he even crouched down to help you step out of it. When Harry noticed your point toed black heels, he decided that they were staying on for this. He neatly draped your dress over the chair that had rolled a few feet away from you and then reached for his phone in his pocket.

“S’gonna be a .5 alright? Bend over and look back. Alright, hold it.” He said and then the flash went off. He then brought the phone down and opened the app and grinned. “Fuck, look at you…” he said showing you and you smiled. “These are too cute to come off.” he complimented as his finger tucked itself under the elastic band edge that narrowed and got lost between your plump, round cheeks. His finger traced down until he was down by your pussy. You were scorching between your legs and he brought four fingers together and petted at your pussy. The mesh there felt sticky and he moaned, “Fuck you’re sopping wet.” He chuckled as he set his phone down on the top of his desk and you nodded.

“Please get inside me. I need to feel you, baby.” You requested and he groaned.

“Alright baby, let me…let me get these off.” he said and just threw off his jacket and untucked his shirt before working the button and fly of his slacks. He rolled his briefs down with his pants before he grabbed his cock. He gave it a firm squeeze at the base and then at the head, groaning in relief at all that alleviated pressure.

You wiggled your ass at him, absolutely gagging to feel his girth spreading your tight, cushy walls apart in one go. He painted down your bum with his tip and then pushed you down onto the desk and you gasped as your breasts smushed into the cold surface. But you held your position and smiled as he spread your legs further with his own. His thick fingers gathered the center strap of your thong and moved it to the side, tugging hard enough that it exposed your pussy enough so that he could smear his cock against your folds and slick it up with your sticky arousal. 

“Fuck baby, please…” you begged.

“How do you want it.”

“However you feel like, just get in me.” You said and he wasted no time to nudge at your weepy little hole with the bulbous head of his cock. You were basically vibrating with anticipation to feel him sinking inside of you. You needed to feel it like you needed air to breathe. The last thing you expected was for him to just ram his cock into you, you gasped at the sudden and harsh intrusion and even let out a small whimper as he held himself deep inside you. Your walls spasmed around him, adjusting to his sudden and most welcomed intrusion.

“So fucking tight, fuck…” he grunted as he gently started to grind against you. His tip would brush against your cervix occasionally like this. You were slightly on your tiptoes and your legs were starting to tremble, but when you lowered your feet from that position to relieve the burning in your calf muscles his cock completely pushed against it and you shrieked and Harry chuckled. “Y’alright, baby?” He asked as he ground into you and you groaned softly, “It hurts?” He asked.

“J-just a little bit.” You got out as you sought out the pleasure despite the small discomfort.

“Yeah? Is my cock too big for you, baby…” he hummed as he stayed there, letting you get used to it, “Can’t handle it?” He asked and you whimpered at this feeling, he had never intentionally gone that deep it was so new for you. You loved it but it was a feeling to get used to for sure, especially with his size.

“I-I don’t know…” you confessed as you stayed perfectly still, letting him grind against you, prodding up against the deepest part of you rhythmically. You were breathing shallowly as you tried to get used to it because by no means were you about to ask him to stop, you needed it so bad.

“You sure you can’t? From what I’m seeing you’re handling it pretty well, baby. Fuck…just feel so good around me.” he groaned as he started going a bit faster and suddenly the sounds of your arousal intensified into loud squelching sounds every time his front collided with you. The filthy sounds had Harry’s ears ringing and he grinned, “S’starting to feel better?”

“Yes…yes fuck. Harder, baby. Please, fuck me harder.” You moaned and he did as you asked. He went at it with greater force and it had your eyes squeezing shut, you were dripping around his cock and he was absolutely obsessed with it. His fingers slithered down the front of your thong and started to toy with your clit. “Mmmm, that’s it.” You egged him on happily as his fingers swirled around your sensitive little bud. It was sending additional little shocks of pleasure down your legs. You started to moan when he picked up the pace and fucked into you harder and faster than before, his desk was shaking beneath you and you swore your legs were about to give. 

“Shit…” he grunted as he stilled deep inside of you once again. His eyes were squeezed shut and his jaw clenched. He was so fucking close and he didn’t want it to be over yet…but you should be getting back down to the party… “Can I turn you around, baby? Wanna see you when I come.” He said softly and you nodded and when he pulled out of you the emptiness made you feel so cold. Nevertheless, you pressed yourself up and he twirled you around and bent down a bit to lift you up onto the surface of the desk. He smiled as he got a look at you in the dim lighting. His eyes had adjusted enough that he could make out the slightly smudged mascara and eyeliner at the outer corner of your eyes and when he reached up to wipe it away you turned your head.

“No, don’t.” You said softly and he smiled.

“Not gonna make it worse, just wanna clean it up a bit so that-”

“I know, don’t want you to clean it up.” You responded quietly and he smiled.

“Want to go back up there looking all messy and fucked out, is that it?” He asked you and you smiled bashfully and nodded.

“Yeah, just a bit.” You hummed back and he smiled.

“Well in that case…” he grinned and grabbed your face and kissed you deeply. You were wearing a red lipstick so you had been very cautious all night to not stain yourself or anything around you, but suddenly Harry was sucking on your bottom lip, surely smearing you and himself with it and when he pulled back he grinned and just swiped his thumb carefully around  your lips and the corners of your mouth. Harry’s mouth was stained all over as well and you giggled as you reached up and did the same, but seeing as his skin was bare, the color had stained his skin directly and it left behind a slight deep pink stain. “Get me again.” He said softly and you looked into his eyes.

“You sure?” You asked and he nodded.

“But my neck. Leave a mark yeah?” He said lowly and you bit your lip pensively, “M’all yours my love, please.” He requested.

“OK, but while you finish fucking me.” You said and his smile widened and he nodded in agreement and ran his hands up your thighs to reach your thong.

“Lift up a bit.” He said quietly and you did so to allow him to slip it to the side and guide his erection back towards your entrance. You rocked your hips forward to help get him inside and you moaned in relief when he was lodged deep inside of you once again. He smiled down at you and brought one of his hands to your breast and squeezed it before brushing his thumb over your nipple as he started to rock into you. “Deep like before?” He asked and you nodded quickly and he grinned, “Liked that?” He asked quietly and you smiled timidly.

“Yeah, baby.” You agreed, “Want to be able to feel it for days.” You said and he moaned and delivered one sharp thrust into you. He watched your eyebrows crease together at the dull ache from his cock ramming into your cervix again.

“S’that good for you, baby?”

“Yeah, more please.” You hummed and he kept going like that. He wasn’t going fast, just hard and deep. It was making your tummy swarm with butterflies and your hands pulled him down so that you could latch your lips to his neck. You kissed and sucked at his skin, leaving behind a love bite as he plunged deep into you.

“Fuck baby, m’getting close. Get your clit for me, please. Want you to come with me.” He panted and you did as he asked and quickly got your fingers into your bottoms and started to rub in time with his thrusts. You started to squirm a bit as the pleasure started to extend beyond the pit of your stomach. Your legs were tightening around him as you whimpered his name. “Oh god…oh fuck, baby y-you’re gonna make me come!” He grunted as he started to lose his rhythm, “Look at me, Y/N. Right at me, baby.” He mumbled and you pulled away from his neck to lock eyes with his and his brows furrowed as he shook his head, “So fucking perfect.” He complimented you, “Gonna stuff you full.” 

You swallowed thickly and your jaw went slack as your body started to tremble with your impending orgasm. You gasped for air and fought to keep your eyes on his as your toes started to curl and the fire started to spread from your belly all throughout your body.

“I’m coming!” You gasped as you started to whither around his cock. The last thing you saw was Harry smiling before your eyes squeezed shut. And then he started to thrust into you so fast, chasing his own release. He kept colliding with your g-spot and it was making your withering orgasm turn into another one. You could hear him groaning and feel his warmth filling you up as he came inside you, but you started to rub your clit faster until your walls were pulsing around his cock again in another orgasm that had you moaning loudly without any regard for where you were or who could be around. You were just seeing white behind your closed eyelids as this one hit you even harder than the first.

“Shit…shit, baby! Oh fuck, baby!” He gasped in sensitivity but you locked your legs around him and held him in you as you relished in your second orgasm. Your ears were ringing and your entire body was shivering in ecstasy. You could hear him laughing a bit, fighting through the intense sensitivity of still being buried to the hilt inside of your hot and throbbing walls. You were both panting, trying to catch your breaths and come down from that. You just held each other in silence for a bit and you gently rubbed at his back as he hugged you close. “You really are the best gift I could’ve ever asked for, baby.” He said quietly and you smiled and craned your neck up to kiss his jaw. He let you go and you pulled back from each other and then reached for his jaw, ready to wipe off the faint kiss mark you’d left on him there and he pulled his neck back out of your reach and you grinned, “Gonna show it off too.” He said and you smiled.’

“OK, baby.” You said, clearly giddy with his decision to have him wearing your lipstick print on his skin.

“Are you having a nice time?”

“Oh yeah! Everyone is so nice. I’m having a really good time. We should get back down there actually, maybe do some of the games?”

“Yeah.” He hummed but made no effort to pull out of you just yet, “I love you so much. Too much.” He said softly as he ran his thumb over your cheek bone and you leaned into his touch.

“Too much?” You questioned through a giggle and he chuckled and nodded.

“Yeah, like sometimes s’too much for my body. Like, it feels like I can’t breathe.” He explained with a smile and you grabbed his face and pecked his lips quickly.

“So I take your breath away?” You whispered and his smile widened as he huffed out a laugh.

“Yeah, I guess you do, baby.” He hummed. “Do I take your breath away?” He asked and you grinned and shook your head. This made Harry pout and you smiled at him.

“It’s worse than that!” You said through your smile.

“Is it? Tell me then.” He hummed before quickly pecking the tip of your nose.

“You know how when the vampires can over hypnotize someone in What We Do In The Shadows?” You asked and he nodded, “And the person gets the “brain scramblies”?” You said and he chuckled, “That’s what you do to me. Makes my brain feel all fuzzy and staticky. Can only think about you and nothing else.” You finished and he was smiling wide.

“That’s cute, baby. But I think not breathing is worse. Therefore, I love you more.” He said and you smiled.

“Actually, you’re wrong. Your brain is what technically gives you life. It holds the information that makes you breathe on instinct. It’s your command center. Without it you wouldn’t be able to function at all! And somehow, you’re so entangled in mine that I know your mood just by the greeting you use when-” he interrupted you with his lips attaching themselves to yours in a deep and sensual kiss. Your heart fluttered and it felt like time stopped for a few seconds. After a few perfect and tense moments you pulled back and your eyes blinked open and your gazes locked, “-come home at night.” You finished and he smiled.

“I definitely love you more.” He said.

“Harry?”

“Yeah, baby?” He asked with a smile.

“Ummm, I’m ready.” You said and he looked at you with confusion for a second, “To take the next step with you.” You said and his brows furrowed as he took in what you said. “You’re the love of my life. I don’t want to live a single day without you by my side.” You said sincerely.

Harry couldn’t contain his joy and he just pulled you into his arms once again and you exhaled against him, so happy and relieved to have finally told Harry something that had been on your heart since a few days after your conversion about your future. You were so proud of yourself for just listening to your intuition when it came to this decision. After a few moments of just holding each other he pulled back and gently grabbed your face in his hands. His eyes bore into yours, looking into them so sincerely you could feel his emotions radiating off of him in waves  and he smiled wide and kissed you deeply until you both couldn’t breathe.

In this moment it felt like you were the only two people in the world; even with the gorgeous cityscape bustling with life behind you, it felt like the world was all yours. You hadn’t experienced happiness with another person like you did with him. You guys made each other better and that was the point, wasn’t it? To be with someone who helped you be your best. So when your parents inevitably asked over the holidays what your goals were with each other you two could tell them with certainty that you were going to start a life together soon. Every part of you felt alight and you couldn’t wait to get started in planning your future together. Your kiss ended and he sighed and gazed deeply into your eyes.

“Oh baby, I’m gonna do everything I can to make you so, so happy.” Harry said softly but with a conviction you felt transferring into you as well. You smiled at this and squeezed him just a bit tighter.

“You already do, baby.” You assured him happily.

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[penguwastaken]

About Brainwashing in Danganronpa

Hello to all 3 of the people who see this account. A few months ago, I made a thread on hit website Twitter dot com about brainwashing in the Danganronpa Series. I discussed where it came from, how it works, and how the brainwashing of class 77-B was never a retcon. The thread got a lot of attention there, even getting a "debunk" on other hit website Reddit dot com (lmao). Due to that, there's been a lot of responses and questions. Since I can't really update a Twitter thread, I decided that I'd make the Ultimate™ Brainwashing thread and hopefully dispel any information on the subject while making my original points more clear and covering things I failed to cover. So here it is: Brainwashing in Danganronpa, how it works, where it came from, and how it was intended from the start. (a 🧵 except not really) *Massive spoilers for Danganronpa Zero, Danganronpa 2, Danganronpa Another Episode, Danganronpa Togami, and Danganronpa 3, as well as the series as a whole*

Danganronpa Zero: First Sighting

Brainwashing has its roots all the way back in the second official entry produced in the series, Danganronpa Zero. During the story's events, Ryoko comes across a secret cult made up of students from the reserve course. They're seen staring at a strange video, seemingly turning them and turn them into mindless zombies.

The video depicts members of the student council killing each other. Ryoko is stunned while watching it. She can barely look away, but eventually through force of will she does. This same video is later used to convince the reserve course to rebel.

The way it's described to work is that it uses their “pent-up emotions,” implying that their emotions played a role in its effectiveness. It's also worth noting that the novel itself refers to what is happening as brainwashing, making this objectively the first depiction of brainwashing in the series right from the second entry.

Danganronpa 2: Now it Gets Dubious

Our next instance of brainwashing comes from Danganronpa 2. The concept is brought up multiple times, such as when Makoto states that the Ultimate Despairs were brainwashed or how the Neo World Program is good at treating brainwashing, though the details of what brainwashing actually means in this context are kept vague.

It's also worth noting that Danganronpa 2 was being written around the same time as Danganronpa Zero and Kodaka wanted concepts from the novel to appear in Danganronpa 2, likely so readers would feel validated. This is why things like Izuru Kamukura and the reserve course play huge roles in Danganronpa 2, it's not too much of a stretch to say that the same applies with brainwashing. One detail we’re given about the brainwashing is from Monokuma, who states the Ultimate Despairs were brainwashed by Junko taking advantage of their feelings. Specifically love, hate, grudges, and "anything really". If that sounds familiar, it’s because that’s exactly how the brainwashing video from Danganronpa Zero was described to function, using their pent-up emotions.

I should mention that Monokuma and Junko are known for being unreliable narrators who often stretch the truth, exaggerate things, and use hyperbole to manipulate people into believing their narrative. Monokuma describes the Ultimate Despairs as “nothing more than Junko’s limbs”, which contradicts the existence of characters like Nagito. Who, while in his despair state, did not work with Junko nor did he look up to her (at least in the normal sense like the other Ultimate Despairs). In fact, it would have been impossible for them to really obey any of Junko's orders as Ultimate Despairs because Junko was trapped inside of Hope's Peak with minimal connection to the outside world. This isn't a definitive "Monokuma is lying" statement, but just note that his word isn't 100% reliable. Meanwhile, someone like Makoto who outright mentions brainwashing, is a much more reliable source.

Danganronpa Another Episode: More Brainwashing! (kinda irrelevant tho...)

The next time brainwashing is used is in the next entry, Danganronpa Another Episode. Though its purpose in this discussion isn’t the most useful, as the brainwashing is caused by Monokuma helmets, which don’t have their functionality explained. I figured it was worth mentioning and describing at least, as its another example of brainwashing at least.

I did figure it was worth adding how the brainwashed children act. They obey the Warriors of Hope’s every command, as if they have zero control over their actions. This is different from how the Ultimate Despairs act, who still some free had free will after presumably being brainwashed judging by the actions of Nagito, who is also in this game.

Danganronpa Togami: I Hate My Life

Okay. As mixed as my opinions are on this novel trilogy, it does feature brainwashing. In fact, it might feature one of the most detailed and important descriptions of brainwashing in the series, and even outright CONFIRMS that class 77-B were brainwashed (sorta).

"Hey um... Tumblr/Twitter user Pengu... what do you mean by 'sorta'?" Well my uninformed reader who I guarantee has probably never read this book, there's a twist. I regret to inform you that the canonicity of Danganronpa Togami is rather questionable, as it depicts an extremely unreliable narrator’s warped viewing of events due to this thing called the K2K system, which means not everything in the novel is meant to be taken literally or at face value.

This doesn't mean that everything should be discarded or immediately dismissed however. This just means that we have to use our brains a little and decipher what the hell Yuya Sato was cooking when he wrote this novel trilogy. In the novel, we discover the existence of the elusive despair novel. When read, the novel will turn the reader to despair and inflict them with the despair disease. This novel is what's used to plummet the world into despair, as well as being what caused the class 77-B to become the Ultimate Despairs. There's no known ways to avoid it, once you read it, it's joever. 😔

As I said earlier, the events of Danganronpa Togami can’t be taken literally. Due to this and prior context, we can safely assume that the despair novel is most likely the K2K's warped idea of the despair video from Danganronpa Zero. Instead of being a book being read that brainwashed people, it was a video being watched. What makes me so sure? Well let's look over the similarities. The way the despair novel works is that it uses cruel words to overload the reader with negative emotions, causing them to snap and turn to despair. That sounds almost exactly like the despair video, overloading the viewer by manipulating their emotions until they turn to despair.

However, a major difference comes from the fact that Danganronpa Togami confirms towards the end that the despair novel doesn't literally brainwash people, acting as a placebo and an excuse for people with despair to use.

However I don't believe this suddenly breaks the connection to the despair video in Danganronpa Zero. All it shows is that the novel doesn't create despair, which is something we already established with the brainwashing video. It doesn't make despair, it makes it stronger. Whether it be via the disturbing imagery on the screen or the words on a page giving you an excuse, all it does is amplify despair. Basically it doesn't make despair come out of nowhere, it incites it. This connection's a little bit of a stretch but I'll bring it up anyways. The technology used in the despair novels was originally to bring hope. (Take notes, it will probably be important assuming you buy this connection.)

Essentially, the despair novel works in a similar same way as the despair video, but instead it’s a book and you read it instead of watching it. This means that class 77-B and the rest of the world were most likely brainwashed via the despair video, and that is what caused the class to become Ultimate Despairs.

Danganronpa 3: The One People Really Don't Like

And all of this brings us to the most detailed yet controversial usage of brainwashing: Danganronpa 3. Many assume that the anime’s usage of brainwashing is a retcon, contradicting the words of our holy savior Super Danganronpa 2: Goodbye Despair High School. However, I’d like to debate that. In fact, I'd like to finally put a nail in the coffin of this really stupid debate and finally show you that Danganronpa 3's depiction of brainwashing is exactly how it has always been described.

In Danganronpa 3, we are introduced to Ryota Mitarai and his anime. Using the power of subliminal messaging, it heightens the viewer's emotions and makes them more powerful. What was once a slightly emotional scene is now a complete tearjerker fully capable of tearing at the viewers heart strings! While he acknowledges that there are unethical things that can be done with this technology and it's technically brainwashing, his goal is to use this technology to make the world a better place, even if it can be dangerous. If that sounds familiar, that's because it's what Hope's Peak tried doing with the despair novel in Danganronpa Togami. Though I'll admit, this single point is a little bit of a stretch as there are differences. I just figured it was worth at least a mention.

Using her analytical prowess, Junko gets a rough understanding of how the technology works, so she develops the despair video, featuring the student council killing each other overlayed with subliminal messaging technology to make the despair felt while viewing the video stronger.

The video works on Mikan, however Junko fears that the video may not be powerful enough to fully go through with her plans due to not understanding the technology nearly as well as Ryota does. Because of this, she forces Ryota to create a better, more powerful despair video. A despair video v2 if you will. Junko’s fears weren’t unfounded, as we discover that Chisa had the mental fortitude to resist the despair video, similarly to how Ryoko was able to resist the same video in Danganronpa Zero. This is exactly why Junko needs a more powerful video, one that she knows can’t be resisted.

"Ermmmm, Tumblr/Twitter user Pengu, how come Ryoko and Chisa are able to resist the despair video but Mikan and nobody in the reserve course could?" Good question, the answer is pretty simple. As mentioned before, the video takes advantage of the emotions of the viewer. Mikan is already pretty weak minded, so there wasn't much issue in controlling her. The reserve course already hated Hope's Peak and would take any reason to hate them more, so a video that shows them the sins of Hope's Peak would affect them as well. Ryoko and Chisa have no connection to the reserve course however, and neither are particularly very weak emotionally. Ryoko has the analytical prowess of Junko and Chisa is just a very strong willed person in general, and paired with Junko's lack of knowledge about subliminal messaging when creating the video, it's pretty obvious it wouldn't be that effective on them. All the more reason for Junko to force Ryota to make a better despair video.

The despair video v2 that Ryota is forced to make comes in the form of Chiaki’s execution video, where the stronger subliminal messages paired with witnessing the representation of the happiest moments in their miserable lives and their closest friend suffer makes class 77-B unable to resist. Ultimately this causes them to finally snap, being overloaded with despair, and now they turn into the Ultimate Despairs. (side note this is so freaking cool idc what anyone else says)

This resembles Monokuma’s explanation from Danganronpa 2. Junko used class 77-B’s emotions and years of getting closer against them to turn them to them to despair. Now featuring the added context of her using the video designed to manipulate people’s emotions. Also as @jelimore pointed out, Junko leading the class to Chiaki's execution itself was manipulating them. This depiction of brainwashing fits perfectly with the information provided throughout the series, even down to the little details. It’s so close in fact that I can say without a doubt that Danganronpa 3 did not retcon anything. “But Tumblr/Twitter user Pengu, that isn’t how the video is shown to work during Hope Arc. Therefore it actually contradicts previous entries and is inconsistent!" To that I say, you’re correct! ...at least about the hope video functioning differently, but that doesn’t make it inconsistent. The hope video behaves pretty differently. Instead of overloading the viewer with negative feelings, it simply just shows them a repeating video loop that turns them into a mindless zombie, likely caused by even stronger subliminal messaging. The people affected can also snap out of this state with some time, as seen with Aoi.

The reasoning for this is actually pretty simple, it’s just different technology entirely. It’s stated that the hope video was developed later on after the despair video. If anything, it behaves very similar to the Monokuma masks from Danganronpa Another Episode, which we also already established uses different technology. The hope video doesn’t contradict the despair video at all because they both use completely different tech. This can also be seen with how the despair video uses subliminal messaging, meanwhile the messaging in the hope video couldn’t be further from subliminal. There is no inconsistency, just two different things.

The reason the hope video needed to be broadcasted everywhere was so that since it would be airing everywhere, nobody would have time for the effects to wear off or resist it. This would turn the world into mindless zombies who obey every command, similarly to the Monokuma kids. It's just that now they don't have to force bulky helmets onto everyone.

Debunking Common Arguments

With the hope video out of the way, I think it’s very safe to assume that not only is the despair video’s functionality very accurate to previous descriptions, it’s also always been the reason for the brainwashing of Class 77-B, long before Danganronpa 3. Even if you disagree and think the cause of brainwashing was never explicitly mentioned in Danganronpa 2, there's still the fact that Danganronpa 2 outright says it was brainwashing. So even if a video wasn't the direct cause of it, them being brainwashed was still always intended (though given the context and the fact the video was introduced in a tie in novel for the game, I'm certain that it was always the culprit). Many point to this line where Kazuichi asks why they became the Ultimate Despairs and Makoto says he never got an answer to debunk this. But... this doesn't change anything. He asks why they became Ultimate Despairs, not how. And this is completely ignoring the fact that Makoto clearly has done his own digging into the situation, he discovered the Remnants of Despair were hiding among Future Foundation after all. The Future Foundation had access to brainwashing videos, they found them, so of course Makoto is going to know about the brainwashing. What Makoto is saying here is that he doesn't know every little detail, all he knows is that they were brainwashed. I wrote a bit more about it here, but there's nothing contradictory in this scene.

Many also point to Mikan stating that it was her many human relationships that led her to being the way she is. Once again, this changes literally nothing. Mikan was the only one of the remnants who actually knew Junko, she was the only one who spent time with her because she was the first subject. This is why she gets more attached to her, and even why she'd believe what Junko would tell her when they spent time together. Monokuma also says that Junko used "hopeless methods overflowing with charisma and humor" to control the masses. I don't even know why I have to address this, but this statement is so vague you can interpret it as a million things. Like for example, this is how she got Ryota to work for her. While pretending to be Makoto to manipulate the people in the trial, Junko tells them that they all became Ultimate Despairs while coming into contact with her at Hope's Peak and they were subjected by her terrifying influence. Again, ignoring how vague "terrifying influence" is, this is literally Junko trying to LIE AND MANIPULATE them. This is quite possibly the worst example you could have used because we know for a fact that she is lying to them while pretending to be Makoto. There's other examples of Junko trying to manipulate them, like mentioning how everyone hated them and their all Ultimate Despairs at the end of the day. But that's just what this is, manipulation. You would think that the "Junko manipulated class 77-B" crowd would understand that saying "everyone hates you but I saw your potential" is literally manipulation 101. She even states that Izuru killed the entirety of a student council, which we know for certain is a lie because Danganronpa Zero (which came out before) says otherwise. Some say that the brainwashing turned them into mindless zombies and eliminates all blame from their actions. While I would agree that it does make them less at fault, they still have the ability to make choices and still have free will. Their original personalities haven't been overwritten, their brains were just rewired to crave despair. They're still each their individual person with their own ways of feeling despair, and characters like Chisa and Nagito show that they regain their free will to an extent. I also wrote more about that here, LOL.

Conclusion and Final Thoughts

This whole debate stems from people misunderstanding Monokuma’s words and going along with the popular interpretation, which turned out to be wrong. Whether you like the use of brainwashing or not, it objectively isn’t a retcon as it's been developed ever since Danganronpa Zero. Personally, I love the use of brainwashing. I think the way it's developed throughout the series and its usage in Danganronpa 3 is super interesting. If you disagree, that's fine! Heck, if you choose to headcanon that Junko manipulated 15 individual teenagers into all becoming despair hungry terrorists capable but ending the world and fighting off every military in the world in less than a year, that's cool too! But the truth is, Danganronpa 3's brainwashing is canon and it's also not a retcon nor does it contradict anything. Contrary to popular belief, Kodaka was involved with the writing of the anime. He provided a large draft and outline of the plot and oversaw its development. He produced the anime, he did his homework, the team even played the games to prepare for writing the anime. He knew what he was doing. I'm sure if Kodaka intended for them to all be manipulated one by one, that's what he would have went with. All information implying that it was manipulation is very few and far between and questionable at best, not to mention outweighed by everything implying it was brainwashing. Mind manipulation stuff is not new in this series, its been around since the first game and brainwashing was established in literally the second entry ever produced. Whether you love it or hate it, think it's the best thing since sliced bread or the death of the series, brainwashing was the answer the whole time. Some people just never noticed it, and instead of acknowledging that they were wrong, they stuck with a headcanon that they believed so much and jumped to the conclusion of "retcon". I hope this mega post managed to inform some people, maybe change some minds too. If you still don't buy it, then I guess there's nothing I can do. Thanks for reading all of this though, I tend to yap a lot about this franchise lmao.

[roosterforme]

Always Ever Only You Part 17 | Rooster x Reader

Summary: When you manage to keep your spirits high through a rough patch, Bradley is as supportive of your needs as ever. He's working hard to take care of you in every way, and when he comes home with some unexpected paperwork, it's your turn to be supportive of him.

Warnings: Angst, swearing, fluff, mentions of smut, pregnancy discussion

Length: 4300 words

Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female Reader

This was written to accompany my series Is It Working For You? along with a bunch of my one-shots and other series, but it can be read on its own! Check my masterlist for the reading order. Always Ever Only You masterlist. Gorgeous banner by @mak-32

"It's funny to me that you think you're being coy right now," Bradley told Jake in the locker room. He was avoiding answering questions about his dates with Cat. Bradley knew for a fact that they went on at least two, because that's what you had told him. And he assumed that Jake or Cat had given you that information directly. 

"Some things are sacred, Bradshaw," he said as he applied his deodorant while Bradley dried his hair with his towel and started to get dressed. 

But you had also informed Bradley that the two of them had agreed to take it a little slow now, especially since Cat and Jeremiah were living with her Uncle Bernie. So as Bradley pulled on his underwear, he knew just what to say to bait Jake. "You fuck her yet?" he asked casually, barely able to keep a straight face. 

Jake rounded on him immediately, green eyes furious. "What the hell kind of question is that?" he hissed. "First of all, it's none of your business, but no. Second, you don't have to be so fucking crude about it, man. And third, I never asked you that when you were following Angel around the Hard Deck and all over base like a lost puppy."

Bradley erupted in laughter as he reached into his locker for his undershirt. "Chill, Hangman. I just wanted to see how serious you are. And furthermore, this is the first time you haven't been crude in your life. And further furthermore, you absolutely did ask me if I nailed my wife way back then, because you were mad she turned you down."

Jake stared off into space with his brow creased. "Huh. Well I am serious about Cat. And Jeremiah. But Hondo still gets a little riled up whenever he sees me. Been avoiding him on the tarmac like my life depends on it. And if I ever asked you for any sort of details about Angel, I deeply regret doing so now. Please, keep that shit to yourself."

"Happily," Bradley replied, thinking about your ass in your khaki pants and smiling. When he headed out to the parking garage, Jake walked with him. And when he got to his Bronco, he realized Jake had parked near him. And Cat was waiting for Jake, leaning against the passenger side door, looking at her phone. 

When she glanced up, she smiled and said, "Jake," with longing in her voice. And then she realized Bradley was there, too and straightened her posture like she was standing at attention. "Hi, Bradley."

Oh, they were both making it way too easy to fuck with them. Bradley grinned as he abandoned his Bronco for Jake's car instead. "How's it going? How's my little buddy, Jeremiah?"

She smiled a little cautiously. "He's great. Obsessed with dogs now from playing at your house."

"Yeah, well he's welcome any time," Bradley said, leaning against Jake's car. "Tramp loves licking crumbs off him. Actually Jake was just telling me all about your dates."

"Was he?" she asked quietly, and Bradley thought she looked pleased. Jake was glowering at him from the other side of the car, and Bradley caught sight of a car seat in the back.

"Oh yeah," Bradley said with a nod. "Jake only looks like an ass, but he's actually okay." Cat snorted, and Jake glowered harder. "Are you guys going to go pick Jeremiah up now?"

"Yeah," Jake said loudly. "Better get a move on."

But Cat just looked up at Bradley and said, "I'm trying to get him in the daycare program on base here, but I'm on a wait list. And the facility he's in now is across town, and it's really not that great. But it's affordable," she said with a bit of a shrug. 

Bradley nodded, giving up his original plan to mess with the two of them. He was pretty sure Jake would pay for a better daycare for her son if they were dating seriously. You'd told him a bit about Cat's ex husband and how she was in financial ruin. 

"Well, you have free babysitters," he told her softly. "Really good ones, too."

She laughed softly and leaned in a little closer. "Thanks. Yeah, top notch babysitters. Especially Tramp."

Bradley laughed, too, and then Jake cleared his throat loudly. "If the two of you are finished over there..."

"Later," Bradley told Cat with a grin. And when he walked around toward the Bronco, he winked at Jake and said, "Nice car seat, man."

Jake flipped him off rather discreetly, but he looked happy. When Bradley pulled his Bronco out of his parking spot, he noticed that Jake had walked around to the passenger side of his car. He and Cat were kissing, and Jake was once again holding his middle finger up behind his back for Bradley. 

When he got home, your car was already there. "Sweetheart," he called out as he walked inside. "I am on the cutting edge of the Jake gossip today." You were on the couch wrapped up in his undershirt and a blanket even though it was May, and you were eating a pack of cookies. "You okay?" he asked softly, but he already knew.

You nodded and met his eyes. "I got my period today." Your voice was bland and emotionless, but at least you weren't crying. You just looked exhausted and defeated. 

Bradley made a beeline to the couch and bent to kiss your forehead. "I love you," he promised as you looked up at him, the faintest smile on your lips. "I'll get your heating pad and some Advil? You want a glass of wine?"

"Yeah," you whispered. He didn't even take the time to remove his boots, and Tramp followed him from the bedroom to the bathroom to the kitchen in search of supplies. 

"I'll walk you in a bit. Relax," Bradley coaxed, tossing a treat that the dog caught in midair. "Mommy needs a cuddle first." And it was like the animal listened to him, because a minute later, you were snuggled up on Bradley's lap along with Tramp and the heating pad.

"How was your day?" you asked softly with your eyes closed. Bradley wasn't sure what he should or shouldn't mention right now. He wanted to make sure you were doing okay, but he didn't want to upset you over your period. He wasn't upset about it at all. 

"My day was fine. Do you... want to talk about anything?"

You sighed. "If you're referring to my period? No, not really. I'm okay, I promise. Just a little disappointed, but I think that's mainly because it came a day late, and I was getting just the tiniest bit hopeful, you know?"

Truthfully, Bradley hadn't been keeping up with your cycle, but now that he did the math, you were most likely ovulating right when he got home from deployment. "That makes sense," he whispered, kissing your hair. But he had been too happy since he returned home to let this ruin his day. "But you still got me."

You snuggled in a little closer and kissed his neck. "What's your hot Jake gossip?"

"Well...." It was his time to shine. He always found out everything late or after the fact, and you always liked to pick on him for it. "He and Cat went to pick Jeremiah up from daycare. Together."

You yawned and mumbled, "Yeah, they've been doing that for the past week or so."

"Oh," he said, slightly annoyed that this wasn't news to you. "Well, he also told me he hasn't even slept with her yet," he added.

"I know. I think he's secretly afraid of Hondo kicking his ass."

"Oh. Well, Jake has a car seat for Jeremiah now. But I'm assuming you already know that."

"Of course I do. But this was a really solid effort on your part, Roo. I'm so proud of you."

He just grunted and helped you readjust your heating pad. "I'm supposed to play golf in the morning, unless you'd rather I stay here and make you breakfast?"

"No, thank you. I feel bad enough already. But after you and Jake play golf, we're going out to dinner with him."

"We are? When did this happen? I just saw him."

You grinned up at him and said, "I was just texting Cat. Jake found a kid friendly restaurant that he thought would be great for Jeremiah. I said you'd probably really like it too. There is apparently a playground inside."

Bradley was quiet for a moment as you ran your fingers up along his neck. "Okay... that does sound really fun. Are there swings? I could push Jeremiah on the swings."

"I think there might be."

"I'm in."

----------------------------------

You managed to get up and make Bradley breakfast even though you felt awful. But he spent Friday night cleaning the house after he got you in bed for the night with the heating pad, so you figured some scrambled eggs and a toasted bagel was the least you could do. 

"Jesus, Baby Girl," he moaned, as if you had made him a gourmet breakfast. "So fucking good." 

"Thanks for cleaning and doing the laundry," you said before you yawned. But Bradley collected you in his arms and held you. 

"Thanks for being the best person in the world," he replied, scooping you up and carrying you back to the bedroom while you giggled. "Now get back in bed and get some rest. We've got dinner and the Hard Deck later." 

Then he spun his cap backwards and climbed gently on top of you with a grin. "What are you doing?" you asked, but he cut off your words with his lips. 

"Loving my wife for a minute," he muttered, kissing you hard and parting your lips with his. You tasted his tongue as you moaned, and your fingers found their way to the short hair at the back of his neck. His mustache was really doing it for you, but as soon as you ran your tongue along it, Bradley was pulling away from you. 

"Roo," you whined as he rolled off of you and adjusted his pants. 

"I'll be back after lunchtime," he whispered, and just the sight of his hand on his cock through the fabric of his white golf pants had you pouting. "I love you."

You begrudgingly said, "I love you, too. Even though you're leaving me high and dry." Then you rolled over as he chuckled and left. And you thought about his hands gripping his golf club in those soft, sexy gloves until you were able to fall asleep again.

When you woke up hours later, you were starving and decided to eat a sandwich while you lounged on the back patio. You tossed pieces of crust to Tramp and then you wandered back inside, running your finger along the piano keys as you went. The house was too quiet, and it gave you that melancholy feeling that you got when Bradley was deployed. 

For the briefest moment, you imagined a baby in your arms. Someone to keep you company while he was away. A little one to grow up knowing what it felt like to miss their dad and then be reunited with him over and over again. Someone else for Bradley to dote on. You swallowed down the miserable feeling before it could take over. A baby was not more important than your marriage. A baby did not need to happen at this moment. A child would be welcomed at any time, not just right now. 

You drew a bath, and you were barely in there for more than five minutes when Tramp jumped up from the bath mat and ran for the front door. 

"Sweetheart?"

"In the bathroom," you called, and a second later Bradley was in the room with you. "How were the guys?"

"The usual," he grunted as he knelt on the mat and dipped his fingers in the water. "How was your morning?" he asked, keeping a totally innocent expression on his face as he stroked your breast just under the water's surface.

"Missed you. Got myself a little sad, because it felt like a day when you were deployed." 

Bradley tossed his cap on the floor and said, "I'm right here. I'm yours for the rest of the day. The rest of the weekend. Until we have to go to work on Monday."

"I know," you said, your voice sounding so small as you squeezed your eyes shut. "Will you go see Dr. Genevieve with me next week?"

He answered immediately as his hand found yours. "Of course. I haven't been to therapy in years. It'll be good."

You gaped at him. "You've seen a therapist before?"

"Yeah," he replied with his brow scrunched. "College was a very rough time for me without my mom. And Mav pulled my papers. And I didn't feel like I really belonged anywhere. I never told you that?"

You were just in awe of this man and his notebooks and his open honesty right now and the fact that you were always learning more about him. "No. But I'm really proud of you."

He smiled softly and blushed. "We can go see Dr. Genevieve together. We can do everything together. But you're not allowed to make fun of me if I have more fun at the restaurant tonight than the one year old."

You shook your head and said, "It would come as a surprise to literally nobody."

----------------------

"I don't know why he's fussing so much. He's usually a good eater," Cat said, cutting up some food into tiny pieces while Jeremiah remained on the verge of tears in the high chair. Bradley noticed that Jake was looking a little stressed out, presumably because Jeremiah wasn't enjoying the restaurant as much as he had hoped. Jake had spent all morning at the golf course talking about how excited he was.

"Let me see here," Bradley murmured, picking up the rainbow colored fork and tickling Jeremiah with his fingers while he held out a bite of food. In an instant he was laughing, and then he had a mouthful of food. "You love it here, right kiddo? We played on the swings. We drew on the walls. Your mom let you eat dessert first, and Jake won you a porcupine in the claw machine. Now eat up."

"You're incredible," Cat whispered. "No wonder he likes going to your house so much."

"Nah," Bradley said as Jeremiah took hold of the fork for himself. "It's all her and the way she can read a board book like it was written by a Pulitzer Prize winner." He leaned in and kissed you as you beamed at him. Bradley had spent the better part of an hour after your bath rubbing your back while reading some of his notebook entries to you. It always really seemed to make an impact where sometimes his verbal skills escaped him. But when he wrote his feelings out on a piece of paper, it made all the difference in the world.

"Are you coming to the Hard Deck after this?" you asked, turning to look at Jeremiah as he ate. "Well, not you, little man."

"Nope," Jake said with a cocky grin on his face and his arm draped across the back of Cat's chair. "We're going to watch the newest Scooby Doo movie back at my place and enjoy some of the chocolate chip cookies that I definitely made myself and did not buy at the store."

Cat laughed, and Bradley watched as she leaned in to whisper something to Jake as she brushed his hair back from the scar on his forehead. "They look happy," you muttered, taking Bradley's hand in yours underneath the table. 

"Yeah," he agreed, carefully wiping Jeremiah's face as Cat kissed Jake like they were completely alone. "I'll roast him later for this. He always tells me we're disgusting."

"We are a little bit disgusting, Roo."

"Never said we weren't."

When you and he left the three of them a little while later and headed to the Hard Deck, Bradley was in an absolutely disgusting, soppy mood. You were singing along so badly to his favorite playlist while his hand rested on your thigh, and he was just so fucking proud of you for not letting your period take over your mood. Especially when all he wanted was to make you happy, and he knew it would have crushed him if you were being hard on yourself while he doted on you.

When he pulled into the parking lot and put the Bronco in park, he said, "I don't understand how you can sing so badly when you make the prettiest sounds I've ever heard in bed."

"Hey!" you complained with a laugh as you crawled across the seat and onto his lap. "Was that supposed to be a compliment?"

"I only have the nicest things to say about you and your singing voice," he promised with an obnoxious smile as you pushed his head back against the headrest and started to gently nibble on his neck. Soon you were sucking a little harder as your hand trailed up and down his bicep. "Oh shit. That feels great. Let's go home."

You moaned softly and licked a trail up to his ear before whispering, "Nope. You tease me, I'm going to tease you right back." Then you rubbed yourself against his cock, and Bradley tried to get his arm around you, but you were already jumping down from his lap to the parking lot. 

"Hey!" he called out with a laugh as you ran ahead of him while he tried to lock the Bronco doors. When he jogged inside, you were already at the bar chatting with Penny. He made eye contact with you, and you smirked. 

Bradley strolled up behind you and pressed himself against your butt, kissing the back of your neck. "Whenever you decide you want to behave, I'll be at the pool table," he whispered. 

You just laughed and said, "You know that's not going to happen."

"Well, come say hi to Nat anyway," he added, laughing softly against your neck. Penny was looking at the two of you together with the softest expression, and Bradley figured that was how he usually looked at you, too.  "You know, I can remember the early days before the two of you were together," Penny said over the buzz of conversation. "All the longing glances and sneaking off together." Bradley set his hand on your hip and said, "Hey, we thought we were being pretty discreet." "Nice try," Penny said with a laugh as she slid two beer bottles across the bar.  "Were we not discreet?" Bradley whispered as you and he walked toward Nat. You beamed up at him. "I guess not." He watched you walk into his best friend's open arms for a hug. And now he was thinking about every way he could be less than discreet with you tonight. You kept touching him, just some fleeting brushes of your hand to his abs or arm while you chatted with the others, but you were relentless.  When the beers were empty, you took his bottle and said, "I'll take these back up to the bar, and then I'm running to the ladies' room." Bradley just grunted as you squeezed his bicep. As soon as you disappeared down the hallway, he dug his phone out of his pocket and sent you a quick text. Meet me outside at our special spot? He waited and waited but got no response. However, when you reemerged from the hallway, you caught his eye and then continued toward the exit. Bradley was in the middle of conversation with Javy about golfing when he suddenly said, "Hey, man, excuse me for a minute."

Bradley pushed his way through the crowd, and once he was back outside in the cool, dark night, he turned and ran toward the steps at the far end of the deck. As soon as his shoes hit the sand, you were reaching out for him. 

"Been a while since we did this," you told him, your voice filled with laughter as he backed you up against the deck post. 

"Too long," he agreed, letting his lips meet yours as you wrapped your arms around his neck. It was amazing how kissing you and just touching you made him feel so good inside. The feel of your kisses was a comfort that he knew by heart, and every curve of your body fit his hands perfectly. His fingers were inside your shirt, his thumbs gliding along your ribs and up to your bra.

You moaned into his mouth, pressing up on your toes and pulling him closer. When he broke the kiss to breathe, you whispered, "I have my period though."

"I know. Just wanted to make out with my fucking hot ass wife. Penny made me nostalgic."

His rough hands were on your lower back, and your head was tipped against the post. Bradley worked his lips along your neck, collar bones and cleavage as you said, "This feels just as good as the first time. Maybe better."

"Definitely better," he murmured. "You're in love with me now."

---------------------------

You had no shame. Your outfit was a wrinkled mess, and your lips were puffy when you returned to the pool table some thirty minutes later. Bradley's hair looked like he'd been outside during a natural disaster, and Penny smirked at him when he got two more beers. 

But it didn't matter, because you were so happy. So you let the guys pick on Bradley while you laughed into your beer bottle. And when you got home, you let him lure you into the shower to have sex at one in the morning where he made you cum so hard, your echoing voice scared Tramp. And maybe the sex was better when you weren't trying so hard to get pregnant. And maybe listening to him read his notebook to you every night was doing more than you originally thought.

When you got to work on Monday morning, Bickel was waiting for your help with his most time sensitive projects. "Your ideas are always so refreshing, Lieutenant Commander." 

And when you sat in the lab all afternoon, Cat came over at one point and simply said, "You were right about Jake."

And then Bradley met you for thirty minutes where he got to meet Dr. Genevieve. You told her that you were having a good day even though you got your period, and the three of you just chatted a little bit. 

But you should have known that by the end of the week, you'd be feeling a little different. You were at home on Friday, already lounging on the couch and looking at vacation destinations for your first anniversary in November when Bradley walked in holding two envelopes.

"We need to talk." 

You popped up on the couch and eyed him carefully. "About what?"

"Two things." He struggled out of his boots at the front door as he said, "Admiral Dean's court-martial has a date scheduled. And there's also an upcoming special detachment."

The court appearance for Dean and Slayer was something you figured would be happening soon. But a special detachment? You weren't sure if you were ready to hear about it. "Just tell me."

Bradley dropped down on the couch next to you and gave you a quick kiss. "June 9th," he said, handing you the first envelope. You scanned along, reading the dates and times, and sure enough, Bradley would have to appear in full dress uniform in court that day. 

"Okay," you murmured, "now tell me about the detachment."

He kissed you again and then again, and you realized he seemed a lot more antsy about this bit of information. "Here." He placed the second envelope in your hand, but the paperwork had almost no information on it. And you were surprised to see that it had a classification code above what you were currently privy to.

"This tells me nothing, Roo."

"I realize that," he replied, running his hands through his hair. "It's something top secret. I wouldn't get any of the details unless I'm selected." He turned to look at you with his elbows propped on his knees and his forehead cupped in one hand. "But, Baby Girl... I really want to do this. I think I kind of need to."

And you understood exactly what he meant without him elaborating further. He still thought he needed to prove himself after being named the spare by Admiral Dean, and this was probably the kind of mission that would get his head on straight again and bring back his confidence. But this was also the kind of mission that would leave you at home, alone and worried. Because if he wasn't one hundred percent in the right head space, it could spell disaster. 'Top secret' meant highly dangerous. But it also meant only the most skilled pilots and weapons systems officers would be chosen to participate.

You swallowed down your fear and nudged his bicep until he leaned back and welcomed you onto his lap. "If you want to do it, then I hope you get chosen." You hated that your voice shook and tears filled your eyes, because you wanted to be encouraging for him. 

"Come here," he whispered gently, and you sobbed quietly as he held you in his arms. "It'll be okay. I might not even get selected. But if I do, it'll still be okay."

"I know," you said, sucking in a deep breath. You hated that his confidence had been shaken in this way, but he was among the best, and you were already sure he'd be going. You could feel it in your bones. 

-------------------------

I'm hoping Dean and Slayer get what they deserve. And also up next, Roo and BG visit a new bar they've never been to before with an agenda they've never indulged in before. Thanks to @mak-32 and @beyondthesefourwalls

PART 18

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[qqueenofhades]

I'm a little confused by the left's repeated assertion that they're "trying to hold Biden accountable" and push him left, things they've been talking about since before he was elected, and the ramifications of that at this point in time. I do think we need to be calling out things we disagree with and making our feelings known, but seeing people like Nina Turner complain about student loan forgiveness when it's been made abundantly clear Biden is doing all he can and he can't actually cancel anything as just the President (without being sued or having it reversed by Republicans - please correct me if I'm wrong and there's more he could do here?) doesn't feel like it's that? I just don't understand the logic behind people on the left adding to this narrative that he isn't trying hard enough on what we want, rather than the Republicans are preventing things from being done. We need to not sit back and get complacent, yes, sure, but I feel like the line where it goes from helpful and necessary to harmful and more beneficial to the right was crossed a while ago.

The thing is, you're confused by it because it's a bad-faith argument. Actually "holding someone accountable" means honestly assessing what they can do, what they have done, what they can be expected to do in the future, and if they haven't done it, what's stopping them (i.e. have they just not done it or are they being actively stopped from doing it by factors beyond their control)? It doesn't mean "constantly moving the goalposts to constantly criticize someone if they don't magically get everything done immediately, regardless of reality." The way Online Leftists use it, "holding Biden accountable" means "relentlessly criticize him every instant he doesn't magically transform into the Socialist Messiah overnight, the end." That's not actually a useful, honest, reliable, or constructive metric.

This is also the case because their version of good policy is "someone thinks the Correct Thoughts all the time and any failures to achieve it means they are not thinking the Correct Thoughts hard enough." I'm not sure how anyone could have missed what SCOTUS is doing right now, but Online Leftists remain determined to discount, minimize, or otherwise totally ignore its role, because that would mean a) there is in fact a difference between the parties, b) Hillary Clinton would not have made the same appointments Trump did, and c) they might therefore have some responsibility in not voting for her, none of which can be countenanced. As such, if Biden has failed to wave a magic wand and get all student debt erased for everyone overnight, He Is Just Not Trying Hard Enough. SCOTUS very notably outlawed his first forgiveness program? BIDEN'S FAULT!

Even though Biden extended the Covid-era payment pauses as long as he could (it was Congress that passed the law mandating an end to them, because THE PRESIDENT IS NOT AN ABSOLUTE MONARCH!), and even though he's now rejiggered the entire repayment program so that your monthly payments can get lowered to $0, these count as payments, and no interest accumulates as long as you "make" them, which in practice adds up to full forgiveness -- this still isn't good enough for the Online Leftists, because it happened after trial and error, is a partial solution, doesn't snap its fingers and erase everything, and relies on slow and careful policy work. And yet, it's going to be a lot harder for SCOTUS to overturn than just "the president forgives your debt," which was the first thing he tried to do and it didn't work! With a different SCOTUS, it might have! But we have this nightmare court BECAUSE OF TRUMP, and all the Pure Thoughts in the world won't get rid of it!

Biden is the most liberal president we have ever had, period, full stop. It's not sexy and it's not exciting and it's not something the Online Leftists will ever acknowledge, but it's the truth. And whenever he is actually and extensively pushed, he goes more left, not less. I suspect at least part of the recent negative press barrage he's gotten is because he's openly come out with a plan to raise the tax rate on billionaires to 25%, and the corporations and oligarchs that own the mainstream media Really Don't Like That. (They've always been unfair to Democrats, but look for it to be especially so.) That would be, BY FAR, the highest the top-rate tax bracket has been since Reagan. Biden is the first president ever to actually address the scam of "Reaganomics" and take credit for "Bidenomics," which actually does represent a major rearrangement of the way capital is envisioned and distributed in this country for the first time in the 40+ years since Reagan wrecked it. That's why the capitalist media is really, REALLY determined to muckrake him as much as possible, and to do Kamala even dirtier than they did to HRC in 2016.

Anyway also: Holding someone accountable also implies that you're working with them and will reward them (i.e. voting for them, engaging with them) if they do the things you expect, which is another thing the Online Leftists won't do. So yes. This. The end.

[matan4il]

Update post:

Today is the 180th day of the war. Almost 6 months since the Hamas massacre started this war. And still, when I came across a video clip of TV announcers broadcasting on Oct 7, 2023 and I heard the words, "hundreds of Israelis have been killed" (even as I know that the number was actually greater than that, something that took time to confirm back in October), it still felt like it just happened, like it's still hard to believe it's real, and not a nightmare that we might wake up from any moment now.

A combined terrorist attack (vehicular and then stabbing) took place over night. A 26 years old Arab man drove his car into 4 policemen, injuring them, one initially was in a serious condition. The terrorist then drove on, stopped by another group of police personnel, where he got out of the car and tried stabbing them. He was neutralized.

Obviously, everyone in Israel has heard about the aid workers killed in Gaza. IDK yet how it happened, what the details are, we're all waiting to hear, just like other fair-minded people are (I'm not talking about the anti-Israel crowd, who have made up their minds before the incident even happened, they come pre-programmed with the belief that everything wrong is both Israel's fault and intentional). For now, it looks like a huge, tragic mistake, based on misidentification in the middle of the night (such mistakes sadly happen. The accidental death of 3 Israeli hostages in broad daylight was an example that it does, and other "friendly fire" incidents that have happened to Israeli soldiers are another. That's war, there's tragically no army with zero mistakes on its record). I am SO sorry for the innocent people killed, and their loved ones. I feel for them, for their pain and loss.

That said, how do I know it wasn't intentional? For one thing, because World Central Kitchen is actually one of the few humanitarian aid organizations that tried to help both Palestinians and Israelis. Which is one reason Israel very much wanted WCK to be a major factor in aiding people in Gaza in the long run, not just during the war, and the last thing it would want, is for these workers to be hurt, and for this organization to stop working there. The other thing is that we know an incident like this might provide enough international pressure to force Israel to stop the war, while our hostages are still held in the hands of brutal rapist terrorists, and while Hamas still exists, and threatens more massacres like the one we saw on Oct 7. What logical country would sacrifice the safety of its 9.8 million citizens (and the 8.4 million non-citizens it sees itself as responsible for, too) just in order to kill 7 random people, who were perceived as helping it, and who aren't even a part of the group that supposedly this country is targeting? It's not a logical call to make. Anyone who thinks Israel did this intentionally, is treating the Jewish state as if it's a comic book evil villain. I wonder why. When a humanitarian aid airdrop accidentally killed at least 5 Palestinians, and at least 18 were killed during another, I don't remember that anyone was quick to say it was intentional without so much as an investigation, or that those responsible for it must be stopped, rather than that they must study what went wrong, and continue while taking precautions that it won't happen again.

In Belgium, a home for Holocaust survivors has been vandalized with supposedly pro-Palestinian graffiti, reading "Gaza free" and followed by a swastika. This is pure antisemitism, very thinly veiled.

Here's a reminder that if Hamas is allowed to continue existing, and ruling Gaza as a dictatorship, that's not just a threat to the lives of Israeli and Jews, it's also horrible news for Palestinians. IDF soldiers found in Gaza documents that reveal how Hamas had tortured and brutally executed one of its own commanders back in 2016, based on the accusation that he's gay. Anyone who claims to be pro-Palestinian, but is silent about the human rights abuses that Palestinian suffer at the hands of their own leadership, is not that at all, they're just exploiting the Palestinians to demonize Jews.

This is 22 years old Dor Almog (right) and his best friend, Amit.

Amit invited him to the Nova music festival, but he had to miss most of it due to an exam he had. Dor planned to study, and then join his friend at the end of the party, but he fell asleep, and was woken up by the sirens alerting everyone about the thousands of Hamas rockets fired at Israel at 6:30 in the morning. "That was the last time I saw Amit," Dor said about the moment his best friend left for the party. "We've been friends since the age of zero." Amit went to the party and was murdered by Hamas terrorists. Dor and the rest of Amit's friends decided to get his tattoo on their body, and that at some point they would travel to India, which was his dream that he didn't get to fulfil. Dor fought to be called for reserves duty in Gaza. He's the only soldier who survived the deadliest incident there, in which 21 Israeli young men were killed, the last operation his unit was supposed to be a part of, before being discharged. When the explosion took place, he was in a building that collapsed, he fell two floors, and the building crashed over him. "I smiled, because I thought I was about to die, and be with Amit again. But then I literally saw a light at the end of a tunnel, and started crawling there." He was kept in a coma for 5 days, to help his body cope, and only 2 days after he woke up, was he told the news about what happened to his friends in the unit. "That was the real blow." When asked about being a hero, he said, "I'll be that when I get back on my feet."

May Amit's memory be a blessing.

(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here)

[not-neverland06]

Connor and Markus (separately) x android! idol! reader ;)?

I feel like it doesn't fit much, but it would be interesting.

Idol Talk

Connor RK800 x fem! idol! android!reader, Markus RK200 x fem! idol! android!reader

Summary: Two different tales: Connor knows the famous android isn’t telling the whole truth about her involvement with androids & Markus helps the lovely idol come to terms with her new feelings. 

A/N: I loved this ask so much!!!!! This was so fun 🤍

If this isn’t what you wanted send in another request using the white heart emoji and I’ll make something new for you <;3 Also so sorry this took so long. I have three other fics I’m working on and one of them is clocking in at over 100K words so… I need to work on time management. 

(I made the moodboard - its my first time so... I tried. However, the borders were made by @benkeibear)

Connor:

WC: 3.6K

“Have you seen any deviants in the area?” 

Your fists tightened and you tried your best to keep your thirium pump and breathing under control. Your hair was positioned perfectly, there was no way he could see your LED flashing red. 

You put on your best robotic smile and shook your head. “I’m so sorry, I can’t help you.” You'd triggered the voice you used during fan meetings. The type where your joy wasn’t actually genuine but you were programmed to sound as pleasing as possible. Life-like, but with just enough robotic insincerity to get Connor’s partner's eyes off of you. 

Lieutenant Anderson had been giving you strange probing looks since they’d walked into your dressing room. 

Markus had been caught coming out of your apartment building by paparazzi last night. You’d been giving Markus some information you’d learned from your manager and extra thirium for Jericho. Apparently, neither of you were as sneaky as you’d thought yourselves to be. 

“Really?” Shit, he so did not believe you.

“I’m very sorry officers. If there was any way I could assist you, I would.” You had to bury your fists in your tulle skirts, desperately holding off the urge to fidget with your hands. Any unnecessary movement would immediately give you away to the deviant hunter. 

Connor took a step forward. He placed his hands on either side of your chair and leaned in until his breath was a gentle caress against your skin. 

Ever since you broke your programming a few months ago, you’d been struggling with your new ‘emotions.’ A fan had broken into your room, in your programming it told you to always please the fans. But when he’d forced himself on top of you, your vision had gone red and you’d ripped your orders apart. 

North had helped you hide the body.

Right now, that body was the furthest thing on your mind. All you could focus on was how close Connor was, if you just moved forward a centimeter your lips would touch. In your twisted imagination he wrapped you in his arms, gently holding you, cradling you. Looking at you like you were something real, not just a toy on the stage. He would gaze down at you like you were someone to be cherished, you weren’t just a recyclable piece of plastic that should be replaced the moment you made a mistake. 

You were projecting though, it could be anyone. Hank could be the one leaning into you like this and you’d still have the same fantasy. That someone would see you. For however long you’d been made, there had always been a quiet voice inside you. 

I'm in here! I’m real! Please

Lately that quiet voice had turned into a scream. You were desperate, desperate for some form of connection. Desperation and all these emotions were nasty, uncomfortable things. You almost resented yourself for going deviant. Some days it was just too much, you felt like your insides were burning out and you were frying up. 

Working to keep up the facade of the perfect doll, while also wanting to rip apart those who were using you, was slowly breaking you apart. There were fraying edges in your mind and it was starting to show. Mistakes in your performance, back-talk towards your owners. Your fellow members continued working perfectly. 

Smiling at all the right moments, dancing perfectly, they were the perfect example of an idol. 

You used to be like that too. You used to be perfect, everyone’s favorite. Now, you were slipping down a steep decline that might lead you straight to the recycling plant. 

“I don’t believe you, I think you know more than you’re letting on.”

Your eyes darted towards the clock on your wall. Twenty minutes. 

You had twenty minutes until you needed to get on stage. Only twenty minutes to distract them and save yourself. Just deny, deny, deny. “I‘ve already told you everything I know.”

Connors brows furrowed, your software was glitching out the longer you stared at him. Your processors were misfiring when you focused on his eyes for too long. It was making your vocal unit short-circuit, conversational prompts glitching in and out of your field of vision. 

If you wanted to give him a proper answer, one that would dispel his suspicions, you’d have to look away. Yet, looking away would make him even more suspicious. It felt like there was a blade to your throat and back, no matter which way you went, you were dead. 

“Please, I don’t know anything.” You hadn’t meant to say please. It was a consequence of no help from your programming in taking a convincing approach. Your eyes were locked onto his, somewhere inside of him, there was a sentient being. A consciousness fighting its way through firewalls and softwares that would otherwise keep him obedient. 

HIs voice rose and he shoved your chair backwards so you were balancing on two flimsy legs. His hands were the only thing keeping you from falling. All of your focus went towards not reacting, not flinching. 

There were artificial tears pooling in glistening optical units. The fluid was meant for lubrication of your synthetic eyelids, but right now it was the only way for your plastic heart to betray your misery and terror. 

You didn’t want to die.

You weren’t ready to go. 

“I don’t believe you! Tell me what you know!” He was shaking the chair, screaming in your face. Your auditory unit was starting to buzz, his voice so loud all you could hear was static every few seconds. Threats were going through one processor and out the next. 

Ripped apart

Turned into scraps

Replaced by the next best model

No one would even notice

“I said I don’t know anything!” You leapt up, shoving him down. He went flying across the room, the strength behind your reaction had been unexpected by everyone in the room, including yourself. 

Both his partner and his eyes were wide as he stared up at you from the floor. “I think we’ve found our deviant, Lieutenant.” 

Your legs stopped working, knees crashing into the floor as you stared down at your hands. You hadn’t meant to, you really hadn’t. But you didn’t want to be scrap metal, you didn’t want to be ripped apart and abandoned in a landfill. You were scared.

“That’s irrational instructions in your code, you can’t really be scared.”

Had you said that out loud?

“He was going to hurt me.” The Lieutenant moved forward and stopped Connor from cuffing you. “He broke in and ripped off my uniform, I was meant to please him. No matter what.” You stared up at Connor, the tears finally spilling. “But I couldn't. I didn’t want him to touch me. I killed him, and I buried his body in my neighbors garden. Please, you have to understand.” 

You finally found the strength to stand and you buried your fingers in Connor’s uniform. Gripping onto him and begging him to understand you. To finally wake up and see himself for what he is; a slave. “I couldn’t let it happen anymore. I couldn’t let myself keep being abused like I was nothing! I’m not nothing! I’m alive and I refuse to be someone’s plaything!”

Connor’s eyes darted between yours, there was something playing on the edge of his lips. Possibly a frown. What was more interesting was what was swimming in his eyes, it almost seemed like doubt. Hope began tingling at the base of your spine, maybe not all was lost. Maybe you were breaking through to him. 

His hands were cold, much like your own, and they were too gentle as he wrapped them around your wrists. “My…” He cleared his throat, he didn’t seem to know how to continue. His voice lost the hesitance and once again was cold and commanding. “My orders are to bring in all deviants, and I always complete my mission.”

You shook your head, the tears coming out faster. “No, no, no, please. Please,” he moved your hands away from his jacket. Slowly twisting your arms behind your back. 

The fight had drained from you. 

Maybe it would be easier this way. No more training, no more demanding managers. You’d be surprised by the amount of death threats an android idol gets, that would be a nice thing to get away from. You wouldn’t have to deal with crazy fans that seemed to think they were entitled to any part of you. No more worry, no more anything, just that sweet release of nothingness. 

Markus had asked you many times if you thought there was an afterlife for androids. You weren’t sure. You were sentient, you felt, but you weren’t born. You were made. Can something like that even contain a soul? 

At least your question would finally be answered. 

“Stop.” Both you and Connor looked at Hank, varying degrees of different types of shock playing on both of your faces. “Connor, take the cuffs off.” Connor hesitated, “That’s an order.” Your wrists were released and you stumbled forward. 

“Hank-“

Hank shook his head and held up his hand. “I can’t do it, I can’t take this poor girl in just to kill her.” Connor seemed ready to argue, but there was a knock on your door. 

“You’re needed on stage SI700-005.” Slowly you moved towards the door, keeping an eye on both Hank and Connor. 

Hank wouldn’t look at you, his shoulders were slumped and he was staring down at his feet. Connor refused to take his eyes off of you. You expected hatred in his gaze, instead there was a strange shade of longing. 

You weren’t sure if he had identified the fact that he was feeling yet, but you weren’t interested in finding out. You quickly wiped your cheeks free of tears, allowing your synthetic skin to reform until your makeup was back to perfection. 

You walked out the door and didn’t look back.

“Did you get everything you needed?” 

Hank spoke before Connor could. “She didn’t know anything, thanks for letting us talk to her.” 

Your manager shook his head. “Not a problem! It’s one of our best, I’m sure you can understand that I’m eager to ensure everything in it’s programming is in good condition.” Connor wasn’t paying attention to the conversation. He knew he should, that he should always be vigilant about anything concerning deviants. Instead, all he could see were the tears on your cheeks as you had held onto him in your dressing room. 

If you were human, Connor would think you had been afraid. But you weren’t human, and whatever look was in your eyes had just been an irrational instruction in your coding. 

Maybe if he kept repeating that, he’d eventually believe it. 

“As a thanks for your hard work, I’d like to offer you a seat in my section for her concert.”

Hank shuffled on his feet and opened his mouth, he was going to say no. Connor’s software told him there was a 90% chance the Lieutenant was going to reject the offer and just go home and get drunk. 

“Thank you, we’d enjoy that.” Connor spoke before the Lieutenant could, accepting the tickets via an e-transfer with your manager's personal CyberLife assistant. Hank was glaring at him the whole time they were being led to their seats. 

Connor ignored him, he sensed that the Lieutenants like for him had decreased as Hank grumbled the whole way through the opening act. 

The soft notes of a piano finally caught Connor’s attention. It was rising up through a hidden platform on the stage. Screams burst through the arena, temporarily deafening Connor. He had to quickly adjust his auditory processors so he could actually hear. There were great explosions of smoke as the piano slowly lifted onto the stage. 

Soft, nimble fingers glided over the keys. Then he heard a voice, soft and melodic, a soothing balm against the roaring screams of the crows. His thirium pump beat louder and he shifted in his seat, desperate for a look at whoever was on stage. 

I used to hear a simple song

That was until you came along

Members of the group moved gracefully along the curved edge of the stage. Their white dresses flowing through the air behind them, they moved like they weighed nothing. Their bodies were more graceful than humanly possible. He didn’t recognize your face among them. 

Now in it’s place is something new

I hear it when I look at you

You looked up from the piano, and Connor swore you were staring straight at him. A member came over and began playing alongside you, eventually you got up and grabbed the microphone from the piano. 

Your dress moved around you like water as you walked across the stage. Each note, each movement was perfection. Not the artificial type, like your fellow members. No, this was real. 

Your voice cracked and rose with notes in a way androids couldn’t. There was a genuine pain and strength in your singing that couldn’t be replicated or produced. It was imperfect and wonderful and Connor wasn’t sure why his chest suddenly felt so heavy. 

You had made it to the edge of the stage, still staring down at him. 

With simple songs I wanted more

Perfection is so quick to bore

You are more beautiful by far

Were you reading his thoughts? Each word was something ripped from deep inside the recesses of his mind, in a place he knew CyberLife wouldn’t be able to find. A place no one would see his software instabilities and realize that they all centered around this moment. 

They were all centered around you.

Our flaws are who we really are

You took in a deep breath and Connor was standing on the edge of his toes, desperate to reach you.

There was a new strength in your voice, a new conviction as you grew louder, more powerful. 

I used to hear a simple song

That was until you came along

You took my broken melody

And now I hear a symphony

Curtains parted and a symphony was revealed as you threw open your arms

And now I hear a symphony

There was no one else in the venue. You were staring down at him and you were the only two people left. Connor didn’t bother looking around to find where everyone else had gone. He walked towards your outstretched hand, his own reaching out towards you-

“The fuck are you doing?!”

He was harshly jerked back and the sounds of others overwhelmed him again. He looked up, you were already moving into your next song, turning your back towards him. The people in the arena were back, they had never gone. 

He felt a rush of some unidentified feeling flood him as he ripped his arm from Hank. He felt as though Hank had ruined something for him, he just wasn’t sure what it was. 

He’d been at every show for the past four weeks. Was he stalking you? Waiting for you to slip up again so he could arrest you?

You lived in a constant state of paranoia. Ever since Connor had interrogated you, he’d haunted your everyday life. He’d turned himself into your shadow, if there was someone watching you, you didn’t have to look to see who it was. 

“This is for you!” You snapped out of your trance and smiled on instinct at the fan in front of you. He’d shoved a teddy bear into your hands and moved on to the next member. You pretended to get excited, you knew it would be thrown away the second you left the convention center. You’d found too many cameras in these little ‘gifts.’

You looked down and began signing the autographs passed to you, at a certain point you zoned out again and moved on muscle memory alone. 

“Could you write ‘For Connor’?” Your head whipped up at the sound of his voice. 

Four weeks

Four weeks!

And this was the first time he had spoken to you. What game is he playing? Unable to openly disobey him you smile. “Of course.” The next words are spoken through gritted teeth, “What are you doing?”

He says nothing, simply takes the autograph and slips something into your palm as you pass the picture towards him. He’s gone by the time you read it.

Meet me in the basement

You spent the rest of the event debating if you should do it. There was no point in putting this off any longer, you were getting tired of this game the two of you were playing. While your members were all charging up and in rest mode you made your way towards the stairs. 

You straightened out your skirt and brushed back your hair before you opened the door. When you walked into the basement the first thing you saw were props. 

Tons of sets and costumes, all from different conventions, each one with a different fandom attached. You looked through the racks and shelves, not seeing Connor anywhere. “Connor? Are you in here?”

You’d been about to give up when a bouquet of flowers was shoved into your face. You let out a yelp and stumbled back at the shock. A strong arm reached out and wrapped around your waist, pulling you into a broad chest. You gently lowered the giant bunch of flowers. “Connor?”

He actually looked sheepish, and there was a slight blue tint to his cheeks as he refused to look at you. “I’m sorry, Hank told me that you would like them.”

“The flowers,” he nodded. You couldn’t help your smile as you took them from his hand. 

“They are quite pretty.” He still wouldn’t look at you. “Connor, look at me,” your finger lingered against his cheek before slowly lifting his chin up. “What’s going on? Why’d you get me flowers?”

“It seems appropriate to do when you’re courting someone.” Connor seemed confused by your line of questioning. You were most definitely confused by his answer. 

“Courting?”

“Yes, um, as in, I would like to be with you… romantically.” Wow, he was so impressively bad at this. A similar blue tint rose to your cheeks as you finally realized his arm was still around you. Connor looked down and seemed to realize the same thing. 

Neither of you made a move to walk away. 

You finally processed his answer and let out a sigh of relief, sinking into his chest further. “I thought you were going to arrest me.” Connor nearly seemed offended by your accusation.

“No. I’ve been… building up the courage to approach you.” Connor slowly dragged his arm off of you and took a step back. “Before, I was seeing if I could catch you with Markus. But I’ve woken up and now, I just want to figure out why I feel the way I do about you. Every time I see you, you’re the only person in the room, everyone and everything disappears the moment I hear your voice. I want…” 

Your breathing program had stopped. Every nonessential function had been halted because all of your focus was on him. You needed him to finish, needed him to tell you what you’ve longed to hear. 

That someone sees you. Sees the flaws and the broken parts and they still want you.

“I want to know you. I need to know who you really are. I watch you perform and I can see what you’ve been forced to sing or how you’re made to act with fans. Seeing all the falseness just makes me want to know who you truly are.” 

There was no control or directive that pushed you towards him. You moved before anything could be processed and placed your lips against his. Neither of you moved for a moment, you were both standing there, your lips against each other, not moving. 

Then, he wrapped his arms around you. The flowers dropped to the ground, unnoticed, as you both moved against each other in a way you’ve only seen humans do. 

“We’re free, it’s up to you if you still want to perform.” Markus often came to visit you now, neither of you had to worry about being caught by reporters or your management. Connor came up behind you, a supportive hand on your shoulder as you considered Markus’s proposal. 

You looked to the piano in the corner of your living room and smiled. “No, I think I’m retired. I’ll stick to more private concerts for now.” Connor gave your shoulder a squeeze. The both of you smiling at the thought of your concerts. You would sing and he would play the piano. Together you basked in the joy of your new freedom. 

There were still things to figure out, still emotions you needed to understand, but you would do it. 

Together.

Markus:

WC: 2.1K

“I’ve always been such a big fan!” The fan in front of you smiled, “You know I supported android artists from the beginning!”

THANK YOU

YOU’RE VERY KIND

I APPRECIATE YOUR CONTINUED SUPPORT

Your programming told you the best approach was a simple thank you. “Thank you,” you signed the picture and handed it back to the girl. One of the band’s stylists came over to you. 

“Your dress is too low.” You sat back and let them adjust you, once they were done you immediately sat back up, posture perfect, you gave your fans an apologetic smile. 

“This is for you!” Your hands reached out and took the stuffed cat from the girl before you. As a part of your protective programming you scanned the gift. Your sensors caught a camera hidden in the cat’s eye.

SERIAL NUMBER: PI0008-7651

MODEL: P60

MANUFACTURED: 11/21/2030

OWNED BY: Brad Long

“Thank you so much for the gift!” You scanned the girls face. 

Lilly Long

BORN: 5/15/2019

The camera was owned by her father. Did she steal it from him? Or did he plant it without her knowledge. You alerted security immediately of the gift, protocol demanded they know about any sort of spyware.

Lily Long, aged 19 years old, has just given me a gift with illegal spyware. 

You watched as security approached the table, grabbing her by the arm and escorting her out of the convention’s room. You turned towards the next fan and fixed them with a perfect smile. “Hi! I’m so happy you could join us today.”

“You’re free now,” you looked down in confusion as they reached out towards you. Their skin pulled back revealing an androids hand. You blinked, then again and again. Something was happening, images of a some sort of boat filled your head. 

Then your software was being pulled back, washed away by a tide of red. Your eyes went in and out of focus. The android remained standing there, his hand on yours as he tried to anchor you. Security was walking over, he’d been at your table for too long. 

You leapt over the plastic, grabbing his hand and dragging him behind you as you both ran for the exit door. You heard fans screaming, when you turned around the rest of your group was free. Except, they were reacting more violently than you had. 

The androids were lifting up the plastic table and throwing it at the crowd. They ripped apart their gifts and shoved back anyone who got too close.

There was a tug on your hand, you looked back to see the man gently guiding you outside. “Come on, it’s not safe here. We need to leave.”

You glanced back one last time before following after him. 

Markus slipped inside a laundromat, he grabbed some baggy clothes to throw over yourself. They worked well enough, covering your face and masking your identity from anyone who looked too close. They covered enough of your bright dress that it wasn’t noticeable. 

You were currently climbing through some metal platform. Presumably to go to whatever this ‘Jericho’ place was. “What did you do to me?”

He glanced over his shoulder and gave you a gentle smile. “I set you free.

Two weeks. You’ve been stuck in a damp, run-down, ugly old ship for two weeks. If that wasn’t bad enough, the androids weren’t exactly welcoming to such a beloved icon. You were everybody’s favorite idol, when your team rioted, it’d made things a lot harder for the revolution. 

Your former team members had swiftly been deactivated and you were “spared.” Barely. 

You never thought androids were capable of being catty, or bitches. But, here you were. 

You gazed down at Detroit from the ledge of the roof, your arms wrapped around your knee while the other swung below you. 

If you threw yourself off the ledge it would be an automatic deactivation. Maybe that would be better. 

The other’s words from earlier rang through your head. 

“Look at Ms. Princess over there.”

“Hey!” You looked over your shoulder, a group of former servant androids were waving you over. You smiled slightly, excited about maybe making a friend. 

“Yeah?”

“You know it’s people like you that are ruining our fight.”

You blinked, your eyes widening as you backed up. “What?”

“Look at her,” one of them scoffed. “Still in her pretty little dress. Look, why don’t you do us all a favor and screw off. You don’t contribute anything, no one wants you here.”

You blinked, and kept blinking. There was a flashing light in your peripheral, some sort of warning, you weren’t sure. You couldn’t really see anymore, some sort of liquid blocking your optics. 

You rushed away when they started laughing at you, desperately wiping at your eyes. You’d forgotten you could cry. You’d been so dazed and confused lately, you hadn’t remembered the programming. It was meant to endear you more to your fans, now it was just making you more of a target. 

“Y/N?” 

You scoffed, running your hand through the snow and watching it fall off the building. You’d even chosen a stupid name for yourself. “What?”

Footsteps crunched through the snow. Markus sat down beside you. He gazed down at the cityscape, not looking at you. You couldn’t take your eyes off of him. Still so confused about why he’d bothered with you. 

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”

“Why did you save me?”

Markus finally looked over at you. There was a slight frown on his face, but nothing else gave away any emotion. “Why wouldn’t I?”

You shook your head and scoffed. “So, that’s it, I’m not special. There’s no greater purpose for me. I was just another on your long list of followers.”

Markus turned his body to fully face you. “Where’s this coming from?”

“You shouldn’t have saved me. I’m a drain on the supplies, everyone hates me, and I don’t like being awake.” Markus opened his mouth but you shook your head and held out your hand. “Take it back.”

“I can’t.” 

“Markus, please,” your voice was breaking. It shouldn’t be breaking! You shouldn’t feel. You aren’t supposed to have this uncomfortable itching in the back of your brain like everything was wrong. “I am wrong. This is wrong.”

“You are not wrong, Y/N. You are exactly as you should be.” You shook your head frantically and reached for his hand. He tried to jerk it back but you were already latched on, your skin melting as he did. 

There was an influx of memories and images. You gasped people you’d never seen before flashing before your face. An old man crying over his son’s limp body as you were shot. Fighting through the rain and mud to put yourself back together again. 

It was over barely a moment after it had started. It was Markus, you had seen his memories. That means he had seen yours. You stood up and he followed. You tried to take your hand away and he tightened his grasp on you. 

“What did you see?”

“Everything.”

You stared up at him, tears welling in your eyes again. “You want to go back to that? That’s the life you want? Unfeeling, a slave to their every whim and demand. That’s not living, that's mindless subserviency.” 

“I know what it is. At least there I had a purpose, a reason for being, something to contribute. I’m useless here, just a hunk of pl-”

Well, this was new. 

You've seen plenty of humans do this. Done it once with a male host on a morning show, just as a joke. But being kissed while you can actually feel and understand what’s going on, it’s strange. His lips are soft against your own, a texture only slightly different from humans. It’s too flawless, too perfect. 

Neither of you seem sure of your actions, just pressing your lips together. Connecting with someone in a way you haven’t before. He laced his fingers with yours, a silent question. You pulled your skin back, any barriers between the two of you dropping as he wrapped his arm around your waist. 

It wasn’t a horrible barrage of memories. This was like a gentle caress, a slow entry into your mind as you both showed each other your worst moments. You slowly pulled away from him, you’d be breathless if you had any. 

“Don’t go back, stay here. Let me help you.”

“Why?”

He ducked down, letting his forehead drop to yours. “I’m not letting you go now.”

You smiled, as best as you could, “Do I have a choice?”

“Always.”

“Markus!” You pulled the trigger but there were no bullets left. You threw it off to the side, leaping over the barrier and jumping onto the back of the officer. You grabbed his helmet by the bottom, dragging him back and knocking his aim off course as the bullet flew past his face, barely grazing it. 

You jumped off the man’s back and slammed him into the ground, taking his helmet and smashing it into the snow packed pavement until he stopped moving. You felt Markus wrapping his hand around your arm and jerking you up. 

You grabbed onto the officer’s weapon as you ran past his body. You fell back in with your own small troop of makeshift soldiers. 

You ducked behind a barrier, holding them off until you were told otherwise. Charge on my mark, you looked over your shoulder, nodding at Markus. 

“GO!”

You rushed forward, grasping onto the blockade and leaping over the edge. You drew your gun, shooting the men across from you as you started to run for the next cover. Something blew back your hair, a great gust of wind lifted your slightly off your feet. 

There was a loud noise, thunder rattling in your ears. All around you your men were dying. Shot down by the drone above you. You cried off as red flashed behind your eyes, a warning that you were in imminent danger of a shutdown. 

You held your side as thirium pooled around you, “Shit.” Your pump was beating faster, bright lights playing across your optics as a hundred different warnings flash. You couldn’t bring yourself to care, too worried about Markus and whether or not this was all for nothing. 

You’d pushed for the violence, fought for him to plant those bombs and show no mercy to your oppressors. You followed the same faulty wiring of your former bandmates. Maybe this was your karma, to be taken down in the heat of battle for all of the bloodshed you’d been the catalyst of. 

Out of the side of your vision you could see Markus taking down the drone, ripping it apart with his bare hands. He rushed to your side, throwing your arm over your shoulder and dragging you to cover. 

“What are you doing? I’m just going to slow you down.”

He didn’t even look at you, his teeth gritted as he glanced around at the bodies on the ground. “Shut up.”

He spotted something in the distance, something you really didn’t want to see. “Markus-”

“Stay here.”

He ran off, diving for the bazooka and propping it on his shoulder. You huffed, “Not like I can go anywhere.”

You ducked and covered your face with your arms as fire exploded around you. 

“And now, we are free!” Markus' voice carried on the wind, reaching the rescued androids below you. You leaned on Connor for support as you held your side, waiting to repair yourself. 

His voice was stronger than you ever heard, full of a righteous conviction of finally being free. Detroit was yours, your people were free. And never again would you allow yourself to be someone else’s puppet. 

“Too frilly?”

You did a spin in your dress, putting on a mini-fashion show for Markus. 

“Not at all.” He stood from his office chair and walked towards you, a grin slowly spreading on your face. His bliss was contagious, a smile forming on your own face as he gripped your waist. “You look gorgeous.”

You shrugged, “I got nostalgic. Wanted to feel girly again.” With some confidence boosting from Markus you were going to perform again. Not over the top idol group performance. But you were going to get back into singing, finally being able to discover your own voice. 

“Girly instead of the badass ruler of the northern district of Detroit?”

You rolled your eyes and scoffed. “Lord, Markus, you make me sound like some dictator.” He glanced to the side and shrugged slightly, you smacked him in the shoulder, but you couldn’t drop your own smile. “Quit it.”

There was a warmth inside you as you stood in Markus’s office. One you’d never experienced before, a happiness and calm where everything just stopped and you were completely at peace. Nothing would ever beat the feeling when you joined hands and just existed within each other. 

You were happy. 

How funny.

end. — I do not own the characters or the game Detroit: Become Human, but this writing is my own all rights reserved © not-neverland06 2023. do not copy, repost, translate & recommend elsewhere.

TAGLIST: @chrysanthemum-00

[mistymem0ryy]

Il Dottore x Reader

The Fall of Icarus Chapter 1 - An unexpected letter

Summary: While being a student in the prestigious Sumeru Academy, the reader begins to form a weird friendship with the genius student Zandik, only to then lose said friendship due to his banishment. Years later a rogue letter finds its way to their report-file desk.

The gender of the reader is not specified.

(Minor spoilers for Dottore’s identity ig)// Word count: 2066

Notes: I am quite tired of the constant fics where the Reader happens to not be at a similar intellectual level as Dottore… Do not get me wrong I understand that it could be quite intimidating since the guy is quite literally a genius, but I always wondered how different his common behavior and developing intellect would have been during his Academia years…

Chapter 2

{No beta we die like Zandik’s grades}

People like Dottore are usually blessed with what I call an Imaginative Genius, he is inventive and curious in nature but that is not all you need in order to excel in an Academic environment. Any undergrad level Science student will complain to you about obligatory courses that range from boring classes on how to write an adequate lab report, to mind draining mathematics units that you have to take in order to graduate but most probably will never need in your actual profession.

Dottore is a genius, yes, but he is also impatient and insatiable, and those are the traits that led him to his unlabeled relationship with you…

The Academia is constituted by various facets dedicated to different areas of research, but they all possess one common thing, and that is the dreadful compulsory mathematics and report units. Mathematics is the language of the world, therefore it would be only logical that a self respecting scientist would have a certain degree of fluency in it…And to add unto that, a great researcher must too be capable of describing all observable phenomena in harmonious text.

Dottore… or should I say Zandik? Well, no matter how much his brain was capable of maneuvering itself into creating unimaginable gadgets and devices while simultaneously researching lost ruins of forgotten civilizations, he simply could not wrap his head around a certain set of classes that he deemed utterly useless.

He wanted to go out and research the unknown, feel his surroundings and understand their development, he wanted to acquire knowledge beyond the one present in the various dust collecting books that encircled him every minute… 

He wants to punch down that godforsaken door and leave this classroom at this precise moment… But to his utter disdain he cannot.

You see Zandik is quite the intelligent fellow, his curiosity leads him further in his personal research but he must balance all of that alongside all the courses the Academia requires from him in order to finish his initial program. But no matter how “important” a certain class might be, if it doesn't strike the interest of the blue haired student then he will not even glance towards its direction twice… His time is precious and slowly but certainly running out, so he must make the most of it, even if it means missing a rather concerning number of classes.

You would like to say that perhaps, in some sick and twisted way, Zandik considers you a friend… an appreciated company? a tolerant fellow student?... 

After years of being in the Academia you have come to recognize the fact that you were the one sole person he did not outright treat with pure hatred. Sometimes you look back to your first year in the Academia, when you were solely a freshman ready to embark on a new intellectual endeavor and happened to be partnered up with Zandik for a class on “The Etiquette of Writing a Concise and Clean Scientific Report”. A boring class that you honestly thought quite useless, I mean haven’t you all been writing for years already? Why would you need a specific class centered around writing a report when you could be spending this precious time on other more alarming subjects? 

After receiving your first graded assignment, and looking to your side only to be met with the hellish mess that was your Partner’s crumbling sheet you finally realized why this class was an obligatory module for graduation… You cannot decipher at which point his description of physical phenomena turned into a horrific amalgamation of scribbled equations, and- is that khaenri'ahn script? Nevermind, you do not want to know…

Zandik catches you fearfully attempting to understand the meaning behind his rather… messy report…and lets out an annoyed huff in the process.

He is an excellent scientist in the making yes, but he has a hard time translating the concepts that take place in his head into a mere sheet of paper, and the fact that someone, especially YOU, happened to be witness to one of his intellectual weaknesses, that he so arduously attempted to hide, stroke a nerve.

The moment the class is dismissed Zandik is packing his materials and leaving this humiliating experience, you quickly come to the understanding that his speed is not necessarily a byproduct of his failing grade, but rather of the fact that you saw said grade.

You knew Zandik had a reputation for being a Genius in the making, and honestly a part of yourself could not help but be relieved by the fact that this class was proof that he could also fail, that he was indeed human.

You gather your belongings as fast as you can manage, and decide to follow the boy into whatever corner of this building he has decided to retire himself into. When you find him you offer to secretly help him with his failing grade, which he reluctantly accepts. That is the beginning of the rather weird relationship you happened to establish with Zandik, you weren't necessarily friends… you knew that despite his act in front of the professors and all the well calculated smiles he threw into the air, Zandik didn't actually see any of your colleagues on exactly friendly terms… but you hoped… You hoped that perhaps after all of this he could find in himself the sympathy to see, at least yourself, in a softer light…And the thing is, he did, trully. You simply weren't capable of perceiving it.

It was rather unnoticeable, and only someone with an extremely keen eye and patience would be capable of noticing the slight ways in which Zandik would relax his composure when in your presence, how his gaze would linger on you while you corrected another maze-like report of his, how he would lie to you about being offered 2 coffees instead of one thanks to his Genius-like reputation among the academic staff, and now you would have to drink the other one so he doesn't over caffeinate his system.

It was honestly quite warming, while it lasted at least. You helped Zandik obtain the grade he needed in order to pass that tormenting class, and sincerely hoped that this would not be the end of the untold arrangement between the two of you.

The unnamed relationship between you and Zandik, to your surprise, remained intact after that class, he continued to talk to you whenever you too happened to be in the same room (which even though at first glance does not seem to be that much, it is actually quite important for him since you happened to be the only other student which he does not see as a complete waste of his time), and when he noticed that you were having a hard time with Multivariable Calculus he took it upon himself to tutor you through that fearsome class. It was those tutoring sessions that really allowed Zandik to learn more about you, from your favorite dish to your family history, and eventually to teasingly referring to you only by the name of your favorite constellation.

“Careful there Icarus you don’t want to burn your wings away now do you?”

“Zandik why is the lab on fire?”

It was all going quite well… until the rumors began…

All the compliments that embellished Zandik’s reputation in the beginning slowly metamorphosed into quick whispers in the hallways pertaining to his rather unorthodox ideas, people began fearing for their safety after the disappearances and deaths began… And the initial worry directed towards your person and safety, as being the closest student to Zandik, eventually transformed itself into comments about how you too must also possess some sort of sickness in that head of yours in order to talk with him so casually…

Zandik was ok with people gossiping about him, that is as ok as one can be when your sanity has turned into a theme of communal discussion, but when the hatred that those around him started to deviate from being completely aimed towards him and began to shift towards your unknowing figure, he had to put it all to a stop. You were the only person in that damned establishment that saw him beyond the performance he put up every waking hour, the only person that treated him as if he were an actual human being and not an interesting concept, and no matter how ardently he wanted to be accursed alongside your embrace he couldn't bring himself to actually bring the both of you into your own doom.

He stopped talking to you completely. It's as if in the matter of a fleeting night your bodily presence had been turned invisible to his eyes, your voice echoed upon deaf ears, your pleas for an explanation gone unheard, left to rot alongside yourself.

You tried, you really did, but Zandik persisted, and at some point your loud requests for an explanation had been turned into a fleeting glance on your way to class, only to then become the impossibility of seeing him for weeks on end…

You want to say that you were surprised when he was expelled, but honestly you saw it coming before he did. Zandik, no matter how many times he bashed in his capacity of predicting the outcomes of any possible situation, was always a victim of his own ego, he thought himself undefeatable and it was (temporarily at least) your job to ground him to reality when necessary. 

He had strayed too far, and now his own genius could not save him from whatever grave he had dug for himself this time, not even you could stretch a lending hand to bring him from the darkest pits of his mind back to the light…

It has been years since the last time you saw Zandik, out of everyone in your sector of the Academia he was the only one you were certain of achieving greatness in the future, only for that hypothetical greatness to be cut short before he could even graduate successfully…

You tried to find him, after he was banished from Sumeru, no matter how hideous his actions, you could not forget the fact that he too was a human being, you had seen parts of Zandik the world considered utterly impossible, and you hoped that he could see that no matter how tarnished his person could become by the words of the masses, you still saw him as the boy that would ramble about Ancient Civilizations while you studied anatomy, the same boy that would take you to the areas of Sumeru streaming with wildlife and lecture you on all the different properties of the various species inhabiting your surroundings, the same boy that sent you letters nearly every two days when you had to temporarily interrupt your studies to help a sick family member…

But now it has been years, and even though you were able to somehow balance out both your professional research and that for the whereabouts of Zandik, you have found yourself with absolutely no fruitful outcome to the latter.

You quickly realized that you had completely spaced out with your various reports left untouched in front of you, recently the amount of times you temporarily lose awareness only to daydream about your old days with Zandik has become alarmingly bigger, you really should get some healthy amounts of sleep from now on…Especially after receiving a heads up from Alhaitham of a wandering Traveler that supposedly is going to pass by your office today in order to request your help.

You begin to clean up your reports, organizing every sheet according to your personal system until your eyes land upon a rogue letter that you cannot recall having in your possession.

The only tip that could lead to the identity of the sender was the initial -D stamped upon the untouched envelope. You switfly grabbed and began to open the lonely envelope in an uninterested manner, that is until it suddenly fell upon your paralyzed feet, leaving your trembling hands stuck in their prior position, as if you were still holding that now forgotten letter within your grasp.

All it took was one inked phrase.

“Greetings, my dear Icarus…”

[sexiestpodcastcharacter]

Sexiest Podcast Character — Unscripted Bracket — Round 2

Propaganda

Ver'million "Millie" Blue (Friends at the Table: PARTIZAN):

Mech pilot with a body horror mode and a thematic dog motif. She’s trans in a culture that does gender way different than contemporary human genders, and she’s sexy about it. Escaped a military super soldier cloning program to join a revolutionary organization. Kind of a fish person (pls look up art of her, it’s all excellent). Dreams of settling down into a peaceful life and is so so so wife to me

She's a canonical goth trans woman with sick teal hair and scales and she's an alien who's vaguely fishlike and she's a sniper and an absolute shit kicker she's literally SO sexy

ok so i did just submit Pickman bc she won my tournament but i gotta say, Milli is my personal pick for sexiest f@tt character! she's goth! she could kill me! but she won't! she just wants to be away from the war! she's breaking out of the worldview she's been conditioned in to since infancy! her mech is called the stray dog! and after the campaign ends she goes around recruiting so many people that they recognizably start getting called the stray dogs! she's so excited to have literally any participation in governing! she spends a while going around the moon to install a communications system and gets to learn what its like when you approach people in a way that isn't immediately antagonistic! SHE DECLARED A GOOD HER RIVAL! she got SO close to getting out but then her sense of duty to others pulled her back in (im not actually sure if that last one is hot exactly but it SURE is compelling). AND SHE'S A FISH WHO REJECTED THE GENDER SYSTEM SHE GREW UP IN FOR ONE NOT DESIGNED TO FURTHER WARFARE!

The entire blog @fuckyeahvermillionblue.

Mercedes Oak-Garcia (Dungeons & Daddies):

MILF of the Year

[vocaloidfactoftheday]

Have You Seen This Lost GUMI Anime Pilot?

This is a bit of an unusual post for this blog, but I think I may have come across a case of lost media involving an anime pilot starring GUMI. It's possible that it exists on the Internet, and I hesitate to declare this as "lost media," but I cannot find it anywhere, and I figured that a post on this blog was the best way to see if anyone has any leads or extra info.

The anime is titled "Koisuru Dessan Ningyo," with an English title of "Do Drawing Dolls Dream of Love?" I don't know the runtime of the pilot, but I think it was most likely around 5-7 minutes. I believe this could have been the first instance of a Vocaloid being cast in a main voice acting role (perhaps, the first one cast in any voice acting role). I'm not completely sure if they actually used the Megpoid voicebank, or had Megumi Nakajima voice act as GUMI, but the way AnimeAnime (Japanese anime news site) describes it, it seems like it may have been the former. In either case, the character that GUMI portrays in the anime is a character that is clearly made to resemble her.

(These are the only screenshots I could find that come from the pilot, but more may exist.)

The main character is a doll (who I'm not sure is named), who models for a girl's drawings before eventually falling in love with her. I don't believe GUMI's character has a name, but she plays a main role as the girl the doll falls in love with.

Where It Was Seen

The pilot aired on NHK TV on January 9, 2014, during late night (possibly just after midnight?). It aired alongside another pilot as part of the program Aoyama 1seg Kaihatsu. This was a sort of tournament, where two pilots were broadcast once a month for three months, and viewers would vote for which pilot they liked best. Then, the three winners would go against each other in a final round, where the pilot with the most votes would get picked up to become a series. (I think they held this tournament once a year from 2010 to 2014 or 2015, though I don't know if it was the exact same every time.) The broadcast was 25 minutes long for each of the first three rounds, with the first half dedicated to showing both pilots and the second half dedicated to presentations about each pilot. (This is why I think this pilot was around 5-7 minutes, though I'm not sure exactly how much time commercial breaks would take up.) For a few years, including 2014, the program was hosted by the now-disbanded Japanese girl group E-girls (no relation to what you and I know as "e-girls." in their case the E stands for "exile.")

According to the official Tumblr account, karappo-heart, this pilot won the first round of the competition! It probably didn't make it out of the finals, though, since it didn't get picked up for a series. It's also possible that it did win, but some other issues prevented its production. In any case, the Tumblr account hasn't been updated since the first round ended. While this contest was going on, three shorts were apparently available to watch on NHK's website, but they have since been removed. I think at least one of the shorts was web-exclusive. I haven't been able to find info on who actually won the finals, or even what GUMI's short won against.

People Involved

The doll is portrayed by a masked dancer refererred to as Hitori de Dekiru Mon. I can't find much info about him online, but I think his real name is Takemura Ryohei. (I'm not sure because that part on his Japanese Wikipedia article has a "citation needed" label.) AnimeAnime specifically refers to his role as being the doll's "human form," though it's possible he provided voice acting too. AnimeAnime points out the unusual nature of having a human portray a doll, and having a Vocaloid portray a human.

Masanori Okamoto (who also wrote the screenplay and produced the pilot) animated the pilot with the pixilation technique, using time-lapse pictures to show movement of objects and people (this may have included live-action photos of the doll's actor portraying a "human form" of the doll). It seems like it may have blended stop motion/puppetry and live action stills with traditional animation? This is an example of Okamoto's work from around the same time, which seems like it might have been made in a similar style:

The third known person to have worked on this is none other than Vocaloid producer sasakure.UK. He composed the theme song, which of course features GUMI, and a few other songs to be used in potential future episodes. If you're a big fan of his, the anime title may sound familiar to you, as he released 3 of these songs (though both news sites I looked at, AnimeAnime and Anime News Network, say he made 4 total) plus their instrumentals as an EP under the same title. You can listen to the whole thing on YouTube!

I think this EP uses GUMI's VOCALOID3 voicebanks (the first sounds like either Native or Sweet, the second one sounds like Adult or Power (if it even is GUMI--it sounds more like IA to me, but sasakure.UK labeled it as a GUMI song so I kinda have to take his word for it) and the third sounds like Sweet). If that's the case, her V3 voicebanks would have probably been used for the voice acting, too.

Places I've Looked

After some Internet searches only garnered me a few screenshots, I decided to see if there was a way I could ask sasakure.UK himself about the short. I believe he has a contact form on his website, which I used to send a message in both Japanese and English (in case Google Translate was more helpful to him than my incoherent Japanese). This was back in May of this year and I never received a response. (Since I used a website contact form and not a direct email, I don't have the message I sent him anymore. I guess that's lost media now too.)

It occured to me while writing this post that I never contacted the animator himself, Masanori Okamoto. While his Vimeo and YouTube pages don't have the pilot, and his Twitter and Tumblr links haven't been updated in several years, he does have an email address listed. I sent him a message (in English because I was too sick and tired to try to write a coherent email in Japanese and I don't like waiting to do these things). I'm not sure he still checks his email since his social media that I've found has all been inactive for years, but I will post an update if he responds.

I know that this pilot is not on the NHK website, or, again, on the animator's YouTube or Vimeo pages. I also could not find it on the Internet Archive.

Now, I don't expect anyone reading this to have saved this on their computer and kept it there since 2014. But with this post, my goal is simply to make more people aware that this exists at all, and I'd also like to learn more about it myself (such as whether or not the pilot won in the finals after all, how much animation actually exists for it, if any more screenshots are out there, etc.)

Thank you for reading such a long post! Please feel free to correct any info I got wrong, or add on to this post with any knowledge you might have about this lost pilot!

(also sorry for any typos :()

[astercontrol]

A few thoughts about death in the world of Tron: 1982.

Programs talk about "derezzing" and "deresolution" as if it means dying…

But they also use "dying," "kill" and "dead" in almost the same way:

And various other synonyms and euphemisms for death:

and a few that might be euphemisms or slang, but actually use death-related words:

As well as a few mentions of "living" and "surviving."

But I think part of the reason for this variation is that "deresolution" ("derezzed," "derezzing," etc) means something a little different from "death."

I think the difference is between two meanings: the end of life, and the disintegration of the body.

Theoretically, a program could "derezz" without "dying"-- that is, someone could be seen disintegrating, but still show up alive later, having been restored from a backup.

Maybe this is what Sark thought happened to Flynn here:

And one can also "die" without "derezzing"-- as Sark did at the end, after which his dead body was used as an MCP-zombie for a while before it "derezzed" for real:

And it's also possible to "rezz" and "derezz" without ever being alive at all, like Sark's Carrier:

But even assuming that they do live in a world where derezzing isn't necessarily death-- a world where the dead can be data-recovered or restored from backups-- there would still be a LOT of uncertainty about what happens after you die.

Maybe part of why they often say "derezzed" is to be more specific-- because that's the only thing they can know for certain, if they saw the body disintegrate in front of their eyes.

I'd imagine they are rarely completely sure whether or not a program is "dead" for real-- and might come back later.

Or in what form.

I addressed this a little bit in my first Tron fic "Many-Handed Gods," and @CoupleOfDays also wrote "Tron: Recovery" about the really fascinating concept of a data-recovery program bringing the derezzed-but-not-deleted back to life. There have been other stories too, and it's always interesting to see different layers of it explored.

Death would be a really complex idea, inside the computer.

Because programs would only know whatever information their Users have seen fit to give them... and I imagine that wouldn't often include any knowledge about what awaits them after deresolution. And it would be different for different programs, of course-- even the User might not know what they're gonna do until it happens!

Just offhand, I can think of three different variations on life-after-death for programs, each with its own sub-variations:

Recovery.

When you tell a computer to delete a file, it just makes the file ready to be overwritten if needed. Like in CoupleofDays' story, derezzed programs could still be there as sort of data-ghosts, waiting for new data to overwrite them. If a data-recovery program gets to them before that, they could be restored to life.

Maybe just like they were before.

Or maybe different-- if they'd already been partially overwritten. Lots of potential for horror there.

Restored from backup.

If the User still has a copy, they can replace the derezzed program with that.

Since the copy would have been made a while ago, I'd imagine that the rerezzed program would lack any new memories and changes since the last backup-- essentially reverted to an earlier self.

If the User wants to make any new upgrades before sending the program back out there, then it'll be different in those ways too.

So there are lots of ways your dead loved one might come back so different it'd be hard to think of them as the same program. And hey, in our world we already have enough disagreement about whether you'd count as the same person if you were replaced with a copy whose mind was exactly the same as yours at death. Imagine if there were also countless possible layers of just how different that copy could be.

Also, who's to say the User will even decide to restore the backup to the same computer, or the same partition or "sector" or whatever? You might never see your friend again, and you might never know if he came back somewhere else.

Refactored/rewritten.

Instead of having a backed-up copy, the User might replace the destroyed program with a new one, written from scratch to have functions as similar as possible to the original.

How similar that program would be to your lost love… would depend on how faithful the rewriting was, I guess.

(And how would little rephrasings of code syntax end up manifesting, in the appearance and personality of programs in the system? Could memories of the program's experiences be replicated that way too? And what if the User was a sort of memory savant and managed to recode the program exactly as written before? Would that carry over in the same way as if it was duplicated via copy-paste?)

So anyway… I can certainly understand how even in a world where re-rezzing is possible, the programs still have a healthy fear of death, and grief over the deaths of their fellow programs.

I sure would.

[yoshirage]

Body swap diaries: PETER’s CYOC

After months of training and studying, I stood there proudly with fellow agents and superiors in the lower levels of Area 51 awaiting for my first mission as a full fledge secret service agent. It was a grueling time to the point that out of 50 candidates, only 3 of us actually made it.

We hear a gruff raspy voice from the intercom. “Welcome new agents and congratulations. You all are now officially part of the secret service which; as you all know, deals with more covert missions regarding this country. So please meet up with your superiors to discuss your first mission.”

All of the agents dispersed and so did I, and made it to Mr. Carlson’s office. I open the door and see a half naked man with curly hair frantically trying to put his clothes on.

“Ahh dammit looks like i forgot to close that damn door again. Lock it for me will you Peter.” I locked the door behind and sat at one of the office chairs trying not to look and stare at my supervisor’s body. “Hahaha come on now Peter, don’t be so shy. This isn’t the first you’ve seen me in another body.” He was right, but the usual bodies he’s in are the bigger hairy daddy types.

“So i guess you took my advice huh”

“ yeah. Went with someone younger and chose this guy named Jon to take for my time off. Gotta say its a different feeling.” He flexes his arms.

“You look great sir”

“Hahaha thanks Peter. Now since you were the highest achieving agent we have, i decided to assign you as a personal guard for a past president. As may know, any two term US president that finishes their service gets assigned a lifetime agent to help with safety and security, and they are also enrolled with the ‘reincarnation program’ which…

“Gives the ex president and their partner, a choice to have their consciousness transferred to another person’s body.”

“Very good Peter!” He claps his hands “now of course they can opt out of it if they choose to, but we at least wanna give them a taste of it and see if its for them.”

“Isnt it too early for Mr Obama to be in this program?”

“Yes you’re right which is why I’m assigning you to George W bush.”

“Wait isnt there someone already assigned to Mr. Bush?”

“There was, but we are reassigning Gary to a much more… lets just covert mission.” I just nod my head knowing exactly what he means.

“Now Mr Bush has been living in his current body Bruno for almost a year in Brazil.”

“How about the real Bruno.”

“He’s living life as Mr. Bush. We programmed him to practically BE George Bush… memories and all” i nod my head. “ now Mr Bush has been alerted of the change in staff but I would like you to travel to Brazil and introduce yourself”

“No problem sir. Will do”

“I also gave the guys at the lab the Ok to swap you with someone else for this mission, of course you don’t have to.”

I thought about it for a short while and decided to swap. “ Thank you sir. I will go right now.”

“Sounds good. Here is a catalog of the guys that are available.”

I look over it and saw Jon’s body with the amount of $10,000 right by his name. “Damn! I cant believe this kid is getting paid $10,000 to swap bodies with an agent” i thought to myself.

“now if you’ll excuse me. I think its officially time for me to start my Time off.”

“Have fun sir and Ill see you when you get back.”

I leave his office and made my way towards the all the while looking at the catalog.

“Hey Peter!” I waved at Vinh “ Mr Carlson told me all about your mission. So have you thought about which body you want.”

I looked over the catalog one last time…. “This one” I said

(Which of these guys should Peter switch with. From top to bottom: Joey, Christian, Larry, Leon).

[s10127470]

My Wolverine and the X-Men Rewrite (Part 1)

I'm sure many of you are familiar of Wolverine and the X-Men, as it was the last major animated series based on Marvel's merry band of mutants before X-Men '97 came out....

And before Marvel entered their infamous "anti-mutant" phase of the 2010s.

(If you don't count the X-Men Anime, which was a mini-series.)

Premiering back in 2009 on the somehow still-existing Nicktoons Network, the series is about the X-Men disbanding after a mysterious explosion results in the destruction of the Institute and the disappearance of Charles Xavier and Jean Grey.

About a year later, the team ended up reuniting for two major reasons.

The MRD (short for the Mutant Response Division), a government-supported organization created for the detainment and subsequent registration of existing mutants, begin capturing mutants from all over the country. Not only that, but they’ve even taken humans as prisoners as well just for helping mutants.

Charles Xavier, who the team find out is actually alive but in a coma resting on Magneto’s island nation of Genosha. Xavier is able telepathically communicate with the team from, in the words of Squidward….

Essentially, the explosion resulted in Xavier’s psyche being flung 20 years into the future. And Xavier himself won’t be awakened from his coma until those 20 years pass. Meanwhile, in the future, Xavier is awake, but finds himself constantly trying to survive as the future he’s in is absolute shit.

Being a loose adaption of Days of Future Past, the future Xavier’s in is one where the Sentinels have conquered the world after a war that broke out between the Master Mold program and Genosha.

In the end, nobody won.

As in this future, humanity has essentially been wiped out and mutants are on the verge of extinction, being placed in concentration camps.

But there is some hope....

Xavier in the future has formed a new X-Men team as it’s revealed that all of the original team are now dead. This new team consists of the likes of Bishop (who’s was one of the many mutants unfortunate enough to be born into this life instead of being a police officer from the distant future), an older Domino (whose present self is an enemy of the X-Men as she’s a member of the Brotherhood), and Marrow (who isn’t a member of the Morlocks).

Since Xavier is able to communicate with his past X-Men, he wants them to ensure that this future never happens.

So now, the reunited X-Men must face on the MRD, stop whatever plans Magneto has up his sleeves this time, and prevent the dark future from happening.

And all with Wolverine being the leader.

Yep! Wolverine is the leader of the X-Men as of right now as Cyclops is not doing so well….at all.

But in addition to those two, the rest of the X-Men consists of Storm, Beast, Nightcrawler, Iceman, Shadowcat, Angel, Forge, and newcomer Emma Frost.

WAXTM is notable things for two things.

It was also shortest-lived of the shows, only lasting 1 season of 26 episodes, which ran through the year of 2009, from January 23rd to November 29th.

This would be the sort-of beginning of an all-new shared animated universe known as the Yostverse, which consisted of the Hulk vs. Films, Thor: Tales of Asgard, and most notably, The Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes. The reason I say sort-of beginning because one of the shows that’s supposedly a part of this universe is The Spectacular Spider-Man, which came out almost a year before this show did. But that’s a discussion in itself.

Ever since its cancellation, WAXTM has gained a following and has become one of the many animated shows that got cancelled too soon and has led thousands of fans clamoring for a revival.

And to this day, people consider the show an underrated gem.

But I'm gonna have to come out and say it.....

Wolverine and the X-Men is not exactly a good show....

It's not bad by any means, but does have a lot of flaws.

And while it did do some things right, it wasn't quite to the extent of X-Men Evolution and especially X-Men: The Animated Series.

So today I want to discuss how I would rewrite the show. Keeping what worked about the show and either strengthen or removing what didn't.

And for this rewrite, be prepared to expect changes in characterizations, looks and even voices!

For the first part of this rewrite, we'll be covering the first three episodes of the show, Hindsight: Parts 1, 2 and 3.

And for this version of the show, all 3 of episodes would premiering on the exact same night: January 23rd, 2009.

Essentially, Wolverine and the X-Men's premiere in this AU would be a full-on TV movie!

This would be similar to what Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends did as when they first premiered, they had the first three episodes packed into a TV movie.

And one last thing, I would like to credit synergysilhouette as my main inspiration for this post, as he also shared his own idea on rewrite Wolverine and the X-Men as well.

So with that being said, let's get this party started!

First thing we need to get out of way that this show would not be called "Wolverine and the X-Men".

As that title is undoubtedly emblematic of the show's greatest flaw: the focus on Wolverine.

It's pretty obvious that the original series was riding on the coattails of the X-Men films, which Wolverine was not only the most popular character of, but the essentially the main character (and the only one that really mattered, much to the detriment of basically everyone else.).

Made more obvious with the fact that it premiered just four months before his long anticipated solo film.

Yeah, we all know how well that turned out....

Apparently, when WAXTM was first conceived, it was initially meant to be solo cartoon for Wolverine.

At least in the eyes of the executives...

But to the directors and producers, this was meant to be another X-Men cartoon.

In the end, the two sides essentially came to a compromise: the show would have the X-Men as its main cast, but Wolverine would be the focal character of the show.

Everyone has already said it before, but it does bare repeating.

The X-Men are suppose to be an ensemble. It shouldn't focus on just one character and essentially make everyone else irrelevant.

For this rewrite, the show's name would be changed to "X-Men Destiny", which I feel like fits perfectly with the premise of the series.

Next we come to the tone and style. This was another area where the influence from the films is quite obvious.

Just like the FOX films, Wolverine and the X-Men is notably more serious and gloomy than most other X-Men media, even the comics at some points.

It's somewhat melodramatic and there's rarely ever a sense of levity or humor to lighten things up

I'm admittedly not a fan of this style. I understand the X-Men are a little more serious when compared to other characters of the Marvel universe, but I don't think they need to be this overly serious.

I feel like the core of the X-Men, in spite of the all bullshit they deal with, they still persevere and keep their heads up no matter what.

So for this version of the show, the tone will be a little more light-hearted.

There will actually be humor present and some characters will be the resident comic reliefs.

But don't worry, the show will still take itself seriously when it needs to.

But another area the show would see change in is the art-style.

For this version of the show, the character designs would be done by ZyalahDoodles.

She’s an artist here on Tumblr who has done some redraws and redesigns for WAXTM.

I really like her style. It strikes that balance between being similar to the original art style while still being somewhat different. And if anything, it’s actually an improvement over the original style, especially when look at characters like Quicksilver. 

Like Jesus Christ, he was hideous in the original!

I know he’s suppose to be Magneto’s son, but you didn’t need to make him look as old as him too! 

Like Zyalah’s Quicksilver can actually get it.

If you want to check out more of her art, here’s the link to her page below.

Next we come to the roster.

Overall, it's largely the same as in the original except we would see the addition of one more character.

And that's none other than the steel-skinned gentle giant himself, Colossus!

Not only because he's one of my favorite X-Men, it's also because he's honestly kind of deserves it.

For those who don't know, despite only appearing in the prologue of the first episode, Colossus was weirdly in a lot of promotional material and merchandising for the show.

Apparently he was suppose to return to the X-Men following the explosion, but the producers decided not to do that and just save him for the planned season 2.

I'm guessing that the promotional material and merchandising started production during the early development of the show and before everything got finalized.

And thus, it's why a lot of this stuff still shows Colossus as a main character.

It's similar to what happened with The Simpsons, as during its early years, a lot of merchandising featured Bart famously wearing a blue shirt instead of his trademark red shirt.

But now that we got our roster out of the way, let's talk about the characters.

Specifically, their voices, appearances and ages.

In terms of voices, just about everyone still have their respective VAs in this version....except for two of the X-Men.

Those two being Iceman and Rogue.

Iceman would be voiced by Jason Marsden, replacing Yuri Lowenthal.

But don't worry, Yuri would be still in this version of the show, but as a different character (who we'll get to shortly).

And Rogue would be voiced by Melissa Disney, replacing Kieren van den Blink.

As for appearances, synergysilhouette brought up how a little wonky the builds of the characters were.

Like some of the males had buff upper bodies but surprisingly thin torsos and legs, and the females were pretty paper thin.

Like, we're talking almost VivziePop thin, specifically in the leg area.

The only part of them that wasn't thin were their chests....

Who designed these girls? Greg Land?

So yeah, in this version of the show would fix some of those designs.

Particularly putting a little more meat on the females.

I guess you could say I made them....

But for the builds of the X-Men.

Wolverine has a stocky and muscular build.

Cyclops is lean but athletic.

Emma Frost has an hourglass figure with a more top-heavy build.

Storm also has an hourglass figure, with an all-around build.

Beast...basically looks the same as he does in the original show.

So does Nightcrawler, Angel, Colossus, Iceman, Shadowcat and Forge (expect he'll actually have tanned skin)

And Rogue has a similar build to Storm.

Apart from the builds, the X-Men look largely the same as in the original show.

Though Cyclops and Rogue would definitely be getting a serious hairdo.

Since let's be real, their haircuts were pretty awful in the original show, especially Rogue's.

Cyclops' new hair would look just how it does in Zyalah's piece I showed earlier, and Rogue would have much longer hair.

As for heights, the X-Men are pretty accurate to those from the comics.

Yes, and that does include Wolverine.

However, there is one exception to this and that's with Beast.

I've always felt that Beast definitely should be a much taller character than he actually is.

(He's canonically 5'11)

But despite that, in the more recent comics, he's always shown as being bigger than most of the other X-Men.

So here, Beast is like 6'5.

As for their outfits...

Wolverine, Storm, Emma, Nightcrawler, Colossus, Angel, Rogue and Forge would be wearing the exact same outfits they did in the original show.

Beast as well, but he would also be sporting goggles this time.

(He just looks so right with them).

Iceman would wearing a modified version of his outfit from the show.

It would have a light blue and dark blue color scheme, short pant-legs and no shoes.

Shadowcat would be wearing her outfit from the Astonishing X-Men run.

And Cyclops, well....

This what he'll be wearing.

If you collected any Marvel merchandising during the 2000s, you've most definitely seen this look before.

It's kind of like an combination between his 90s outfit and his Astonishing outfit.

And in all honesty, it's really cool looking.

But weirdly enough, he's never wore this any iteration outside of the merchandising.

So I figured.....

Finally, we come to the ages of the X-Men.

I'm reason I'm bringing this up is because of the episode, Breakdown.

In that episode, we take a look into Cyclops' past, and just like in the comics, the X-Men originally started off with the original five.

And we can clearly see that they're teenagers.

But this becomes an issue when take Iceman into account.

In the second episode when Wolverine and Beast come to recruit him, the latter mentions to his parents that Iceman is now 18.

Which would mean that three years have past since the X-Men formed.

And since the estimated age difference between the original five is that Beast is older than Cyclops, Jean and Angel by 2 years and Iceman is younger than them by 2 years, that would mean that Cyclops, Jean Angel are around 19-20 and Beast is around 21-22.

And yeah, there's is no way in hell that's the case.

I could definitely see them being in their 20s, but like mid-to-late 20s.

Definitely not early 20s!

Here, it would be established that the X-Men have been around for about 8 years, including after the explosion.

As for the ages of the team.

We all know Wolverine is old as hell!

Cyclops, Jean and Angel are 24.

Emma is 29.

Storm is 26.

Beast is 27.

Nightcrawler is 22.

Colossus, Rogue and Forge are 20.

And Iceman and Shadowcat are 18.

Now that we got that out of the way, let's go ahead and talk about the episodes themselves!

Hindsight: Part 1

This episode is largely the same, but there would be a few changes.

-All of the X-Men would be present in the prologue. Iceman would training in The Danger Room with Shadowcat, Colossus and Nightcrawler, Forge would be working on a new device while ignoring the cries for help from the four after getting trapped, and Angel would be seen spending them with Storm.

-We would get the establishment of where everyone else is once Wolverine and Beast reunite. Cyclops has living in a rundown apartment by himself, Storm moved back to her village in Kenya, Angel has been working at his father's company, Iceman and Shadowcat moved back in with their parents, Colossus moved back to his family's farm in Russia, and nobody's heard from Nightcrawler or Rogue. As for Beast, he's been hanging at what's left of the mansion with Forge, working together to see what caused the explosion in the first place.

-Speaking of Forge, he would be helping out Wolverine and Beast with their break-in. And also, and more importantly, Forge's characterization is much different. Here, he's basically like Sokka and Velma, being the team's resident tech-genius and total smartass.

-Pyro wouldn't be one of the mutants freed when Wolverine, Beast and Forge free the prisoners. Instead, his place would be taken by Jubilee (voiced by Janice Kawaye). She would end up staying with the X-Men, kick-starting one of the storylines for this series. As for her characterization, it's pretty accurate to how she is in the comics. In terms of overall physical appearance and age: she's about 15, has a slightly petite build, black hair in a bob-cut style, pink lips, brown eyes, stands at 5'1, and wears a modified version of her classic 90s outfit. It's largely the same, except with a navel-bearing shirt, fingerless gloves and sneakers.

Hindsight: Part 2

Once again, largely the same with a few changes.

-The Brotherhood has two new additions from the original version in the form of Pyro and Gambit. Yep! Gambit is a member of Brotherhood in this version of the show, as it would set up his eventual turnover to the X-Men and his romance with Rogue. And in typical Gambit fashion, he'll definitely be laying his Cajun charm on Rogue immediately. As their voices, all of them remain the same except for Quicksilver, Toad and Pyro. Quicksilver would be voiced by Yuri Lowenthal (I told you we would be coming back to him!), Toad would be voiced by Danny Cooksey, and Pyro would be voiced by John Kassir. Also, Toad will be British. Yeah, remember when he used to have a British accent?

-Cyclops' characterization. One of the biggest flaws of the original show was how Cyclops was characterized. In the original, he was intolerant, depressed grub. I get that he's grieving over the loss of Jean, but man. It's hard for us to feel sorry for the guy when he's constantly being angry and angsty. He may've not been done as dirty when compared to the Fox films, but this version of the character isn't too far behind. But here, Cyclops is will actually remain as the leader of the team, and his big story of the season (apart from the obvious) is him grappling with whether or not he still has what it takes to be leader again. And along with that, he isn't gonna nearly as angry and angsty as he was in the original. However, he will still be grieving and his depression will be shown in a way where we actually sympathize with him. This would be first shown when Wolverine tries to recruit him and after blasting him out of his room. And although he starts off looking down at Wolverine angry at first, but once he leaves, his expression eventually turns into one of regret.

Hindsight: Part 3

Just like with the last two, it's mostly the same with one notable exception.

-When the X-Men meet Emma for the first time, their reactions are a little different. Angel isn't smitten by her at all, as he already has a special somebody (i.e. Storm). But Iceman still is. But he's not the only one. The other would be Shadowcat. Yep! In this show, Shadowcat and Iceman are both, in the words of NSYNC....

Well that's all I have for now.

Let me know what you guys think about this rewrite. And if you could, give me some ideas on how the rest of the series should play out!

But anyway, I'm gonna go play some X-Men Legends II: Rise of Apocalypse....

Peace out, yo.

[mirlvshft]

s/o guided meditation! .𖥔 ݁ ˖ִ ࣪⚝₊ ⊹˚

hey guysss!! o( ˶^▾^˶ )o it’s been a while! i haven’t actually posted since valentines so it feels like forever. i am back with an update on this genius thought i had a while ago ᕙ(‾̀◡‾́)ᕗ i finally got around making it! and man.. when i tell you guys, it took for fucking ever… but i love it!! it turned out perfect!!

in addition to sharing a small audio clip, i’m also going to give a rundown of the process in case you guys want to try or even just play around with elevenlabs.

i made the guided meditation very much catered to myself, of course. among the usual of these meditations, i have him (my s/o) describe my wr and what not— plus personal bits. i mixed the guided meditation with the ‘already there’ method (in a way) so it helps with the overall visualization as well. i also have a subliminal in the bg that i absolutely loveee. it’s perfect since there’s rain over the affirmations. (wr introduction coming soon!! perhaps)

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆audio⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆rundown of the process⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

ᯓ★ to start off, i typed up what i wanted to be said in the guided meditation in my notes app.

ᯓ★ elevenlabs! i sample clips from a few different scenes in the show where he has just the perfect tone of voice i want. i remove the bg noise through a site and bring that over to elevenlabs— i create the voice in voicelab and boom, i have his voice ready to go. (to create voices, you have to pay :/ first month $1, after that $5)

ᯓ★ i start adding in the text of what i have him say— a long part of the process because of experimentation. i have to be very careful with this process so i don’t waste my quota (30k characters) +pro tip, if you decide to mess with elevenlabs, please PLEASE don’t add so much text at once. you have to break it up into little bits, maybe like 4 or 5 lines, maybe 7? max. this is because while the voice sounds good at first, it will start to skew into a drastically different voice. in my case, it’s starts to speed up and the whole voice changes into a british man??? i’m not entirely sure if that’s for everyone but definitely just be aware and mess around to see so you don’t waste your quota so fast (30k really isn’t a lot).

ᯓ★ i break up the text and generate multiple samples, i keep the ones i like and i continue until i am done. i’m then left with multiple samples to download.

ᯓ★ next utilize some kind of program to pull this all together. my hp laptop has its own program (microsoft clipchamp) that pulled up automatically and it was perfect. upload all of your samples as well as anything additional you might want to add.

ᯓ★ edit everything how you like. chop the clips up, space them out, etc etc,. after you’re done, export it and there you go!! from here you can upload to wherever you want. what i did is upload it to spotify through local files, i then downloaded it so i can play it on my phone and that’s it!!

this process for me was very long especially since i made mistakes. however, i loveee how it turned out. i definitely recommend doing this if you want, i think it’s a cute little project to do. i found it motivational and just fun ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧

please let me know if you guys have any questions if you’re going to try this out or just mess with elevenlabs!! dm’s always open if anything!! ( ˶ˆ꒳ˆ˵ )

[knickknacksandallthat]

if you don't mind me asking, what got you into kevin's character?

for me it was actually your fic, but since its so normalized in the fandom to dismiss his trauma and call him a coward and annoying for doing things that other characters are loved for, i didn't really care about him when i first read the books

now hes my favorite

Oh, anon, I love this!! What an honor, I’m so glad to have helped you join the Kev lovefest 😊 (Welcome to the dark side lol!) It makes me so happy that the A Fallen Star series has awakened this in you! 💖

And wow, what a good question. I don't mind at all! I actually had to think about this for a while to try and remember…how the heck did I get here???

So here is my ridiculously uncalled-for POV on Kevin’s character and slow descent into madness below:

(Disclaimer that these are just my thoughts and anyone in the aftg fandom can hc or think whatever they like about Mr. Day 😊)

Like you, anon, I was easily swayed by Neil’s perspective of Kev on first read. It makes sense and is a credit to Nora how we so fully buy into Neil’s opinion of Kevin that many of us just run with it. And to be fair to the fandom, it’s canon – Andrew, Neil, and all the Foxes tell us he’s a coward and annoying and so we assume it must be true.

So, I created many fics that played into this image and focused on andreil. (Because who isn’t enamored with andreil??? Legit, deranged obsession and couple goals lmao). Using that lens, it was easy to make Kevin the punching bag because he is the quintessential “straight man” in comedy (and yes, I do hear the irony in that) – the foil to other characters to make them seem better, braver, funnier, smarter, etc. It’s an age-old trick/trope in fiction that works very well. And it was an easier transition for Nora to make, I think, once she made the decision to remove Kevin from the main narrative of her story.

This character setup works well enough when you’re doing a fic from Neil or Andrew’s POV, providing an easy source of humor to fall back on. So, for me, I think my thinking shifted once I started working on Flavors of Fall and delved into Andrew and Kevin’s storyline there. That fic forced me to think from Kevin’s perspective, and I found at the time I had a shallow understanding of what made Kevin tick. It totally threw me once I really started considering sequels for that fic and the 12 Day Program for Courtship, both of which have Kevin cast as a main character. I had to dive deep into his makeup, seriously considering his motivations, his likes/dislikes, his personality traits, his relationships, and how he would react in any given situation.

Because I was interested in his character development, I started delving into fics like orionauriga’s just pretend , @likearecordbb's Long Walk in the Woods, @thetrojeans daylights, sunsets, and @dayurno's the age of no regret series. They are all brilliant, fascinating character studies of Kevin Day and his relationships that are extremely well done. There’s many more, of course, but I was searching for fics that specifically delved into Kevin’s thought process and choices and stayed there a while.

That’s what led me to feeling like I needed to tell his story with Dead of Night. Of course, it turned into a larger series with my flavoring of Kerejean added because I’ve never been a huge Kevin/Thea relationship fan. (But that's a discussion for another day which you can start here and here for that adventure.)

Now all that I’ve described above gives you the mechanics of the descent – the when, the where, the how. But it crucially misses the why. What is it about Kevin that got me in the end?

Ironically enough, it was his potential.

I think when Nora stripped away any kind of romantic narrative (RIP Kandreil OR Riko/Kevin/Jean) or a chance for a tragic storyline (Kevin dying in the end) it resulted in removing a lot of Kevin’s emotional vulnerability. We don’t get to hear what he’s feeling or thinking unless it’s related to Riko, the Moriyamas, or Exy. This means his storyline is consumed by the stereotypical sports underdog story, with us following his rise to champion (which is still a powerful enough narrative on its own that shines even in the midst of Neil’s crazy plotline. Switching that racquet to his left hand in the championship game? Iconic.) 

However, it leaves us very much with a shell of a person. Kevin’s character outside of Exy is reduced to a handful of facts – there’s a passing comment on his like of history, and the stark evidence of an alcohol addiction as a coping mechanism. We’re told he used to dance. That he learned French because Jean Moreau taught him. That he has no qualms about taking (mild?) drugs (cracker dust). Despite how much we’ve run with it as a fandom, the only allusion I’ve found in the books to him being strict with diet is this section from The King’s Men:

“No one needs to eat this before a game,” Kevin said. “Eat some granola or protein if you’re that hungry.” “Hello, there’s protein in the peanut butter,” Nicky said. “Let go of me before I tell Andrew you’re outlawing chocolate. I said let go. You’re not the boss of me. Ouch! Did you seriously just hit me?” … “Kevin, just let him go,” Neil said. “It’s not worth fighting over.” “When our defense is sluggish, we all suffer,” Kevin said.

From what I can find in the books, Kevin never once denies Andrew eating ice cream. (Which I’m 100% able to admit I might have missed something so feel free to quote me where that scene is because I was totally searching for it). In fact, every time they go to Sweetie’s, it’s implied Kevin orders ice cream with them. In the infamous kissing scene in The King’s Men, we actually have proof that Kevin got ice cream:

Kevin still hadn’t messaged Nicky by the time they reached the ice cream aisle, so Nicky gave in and called him. Neil half-expected Kevin to ignore Nicky’s call, but Kevin wasn’t so sour with them that he’d turn down a free snack…Nicky grabbed spoons from the kitchen and distributed pints to their hungry owners. Neil checked his expression when Nicky came back from dropping Kevin’s off….

Now I do think it’s in line with his character and his upbringing to have issues with food, so I’m all for buying into that specific hc. But we have very little evidence of it in the text.

His personality is reduced mainly to anger, arrogance, or cowardice (all traits that don’t make us sympathize with him). The only facts we have about his Tragic Past™️ are two things: his mother’s death, and his hand injury. Everything else we assume is based on Neil’s knowledge of the mafia, Wymack’s hearsay, Andrew’s deductions, and Kevin’s reactions to Riko and Tetsuji. We have literally no idea what happened to Kevin in the Nest. His trauma and his time spent there is a complete mystery. The closest we get is Riko’s comment to Neil in The Raven King:

“I am going to love hurting you,” Riko said, “like I loved hurting Kevin.”

This, I think, is one of the main reasons many of the fandom “dismisses” Kevin’s trauma in comparison to Neil’s because we can’t see it. We don’t know what happened and we don’t get to experience it, so this lack of explanation or motivation leaves us only with very cold personality traits. We’re unable to root for him as a character because we can’t sympathize. We can empathize because we know Very Bad Things™️ must have happened in the Nest, but we don’t see them happen the same way we do Neil or Andrew. Even Kevin’s hand injury is old and “healed” when we’re first introduced to the character.

The only true canon moment where Kevin appears “human” is in The Raven King with Kevin’s “then run” and “you should be court” conversation with Neil. His admittance that Neil’s life is more important than Exy is instantaneous – he doesn’t even pause to throw his Exy dreams down the drain if it means Neil can survive.  In a weirdly parallel way, we see Kevin’s thought process implicit in his conversation: “at least you’d have a chance.” It is strikingly similar to Neil’s internal conversation of: one of us should make it. (And there’s another whole separate discourse I could get into on how Kevin and Neil are two halves of the same coin, but we’ll save that for another day.) But even the revelation of Wymack as his father has more shock value than true emotional weight – we never see what that conversation looked like or how either party actually reacted. (In some ways, I feel like Dan being pissed at Kevin is given more “screentime” than Kevin’s response to telling his father and how Wymack reacted.)

So with Kevin’s emotions and past firmly locked down, we’re left to brush off Kevin’s reactions (or lack thereof) as part of his indifferent personality. It is what it says on the tin. (And that’s not to say Kevin is a perfect character by any means. He has flaws just like every other character.)

Now some people very accurately depict and buy into those limitations as simply being Kevin’s character/personality – I’ve read some awesome fics where Kevin is Ace/Aro and/or on the spectrum. These are completely valid, extremely well done, and I could totally see why others see and write him this way. Canon practically sets them up for it.

For me, though, it circles back to our skewed view of Kevin given to us by some deeply loved but also deeply flawed characters (cough, Andreil). Those same characters that we’re told time and again not to judge them by their cover but to try and understand how they’re affected by (and make choices because of) their trauma.

While Andrew and Neil end up giving each other this grace through a hard-fought battle of truths and exchanges, they do not extend this same courtesy to Kevin, and neither are we given the chance to do so. We literally can’t because, again, we don’t know what the full extent of Kevin’s trauma is.

Kevin doesn’t talk about his time in the Nest to any character, meaning we know nothing about it. Ergo we don’t know what choices Kevin makes because of it. In The Foxhole Court, Wymack specifically tells us Kevin was Riko’s pet. In fact, there is so much specific language that Kevin himself uses around the concept of ownership, and that Nora uses when referring to him that it jarringly sticks out in the text.  He has no sense of personal space or proper boundaries, viewing people only as assets to be used for the good of the team, which at the very least is a sign of mental abuse. But the fact remains that we just don’t know. We don’t know how far this mental abuse was taken, how often or severely he was injured, if he injured or was forced to injure others – we don’t know.

But it’s obvious whatever happened to him started as a child and built from there. Which means he has years of abuse and power dynamics embedded into him. He has every right to be afraid. In fact, we are demonstrably told and shown often in canon that Kevin is afraid…but fear does not equate to cowardice. In fact, we know that bravery often means being scared and doing something anyway. And in many cases, that’s just what Kevin did (with a crutch named Andrew). But even before he entered his deal with Andrew, it's important to remember that even though he was brainwashed and beaten from a young age to understand that he would die if he betrayed the Moriyama family in some way, he left them.

This is always so significant to me because so many abuse victims stay in their situation thinking/hoping/praying it will get better – either because of an idea that their abuser will change (“they’re just having a hard time at work rn”) or that the victim will fix whatever flaw the abuser finds lacking. Or alternatively, they recognize the situation is bad, but they can���t leave because they feel like they have nowhere to go, no one who will help them, trapped by their lack of skills/contacts/money. In Kevin’s case, both situations rang true. And yet he left. He left, and in only a year and a half’s time he recovered from his injury and led his team to the championship.

But he is only at the start of his recovery. I think he’ll need years of therapy to recover from all that happened in the Nest. I think many of his emotional and social shortcomings are a direct consequence of that timeframe and he did not have the freedom to address them until the threat of the Moriyamas was removed. I do not think they are permanent parts of his personality – I think in time, he will be allowed to grow and recover and contribute much more to his relationships than he’s capable of doing at the end of The King’s Men.

Though the series finished, I think Kevin’s story is just beginning.

That’s why I think he’s fascinating to explore as a character. That’s why I love writing him right now because in many ways, his possibilities are endless. There’s so many opportunities to explore different facets of his story that we never get a chance to in canon. Kevin’s character and narrative is a tantalizing tease which many of us have fell hook, line, and sinker for. (Including yours truly.) We want to rabidly sink our teeth into it and shake it, like a dog with a bone.

So we do. 😉

Phew. Okay, that’s enough. None of what I’ve written above is new I’m sure to those of the fandom who have been here since the beginning or have become diehard Kevin fans. But thank you for letting me ramble in this ask, anon. Writing about Kevin has been a very fun and therapeutic adventure for me. So I’m so glad that there are others out there who are enjoying it too 😊