#or known as Dean's boytoys

[sky-is-the-limit]

[peenenhancer]

THE FLAVORS ARE MELTING ON MY TONGUE by , @obsessive-sapphic , @mudkip-13 , and @peenenhancer on tumblr

Robert was a hot blooded Vampire with a peen enhancing power.

*becomes gay*

“I-I-I-I-I’m s-s-s-sorry” Said Zidane, her 3’2” frame shaking in fear. But shrek had no mercy. He took out his massive girthy marketable plush of donkey and smacked her with it.

“W-w-w-w-why did you d-d-do that S-s-shrek??” She stared up at him with her big blue balls of sight.

Shrek growled at her in a dominant and intimidating way. “What daddy wants, your mom gets. And Daddy is shrek.” He flew away into the night sky and lived on the moon, never to be seen again. Naruto died 2 days later from the massie smack Shrek gave her with his massive marketable plush of donkey. 

All of a sudden, sonic the hedgehog pulled out his massive chili dog and breast fed lord farquaad with it.

“LANGUAGE” shitted Steve Rogers, also known as Captain America. 

"Who are you talking to like that?" Said Bill Nye with Doctor Phil in his ass.

All of a sudden, Castiel from the hit TV show supernatural emerged from superhell “HAS ANYBODY SEEN MY BOYTOY DEAN??” 

“Hehe that rhymes” said cocomelon's head writer Caden. Castiel from the hit TV show Supernatural glared at the baby. He picked up the baby and threw him into the sun, relishing in the sounds of sizzling baby skin.  

The pitbull grandpa rode on his pitbull to the scene because he’s a nosy mutherfucker and wants to know the tea that’s goin on. “YeEEHAaAAWWwW BITCHES”

“NOW GIMME SOME ONE OF THOSE WEED CIGARETTES!” Castiel from the hit TV show Supernatural shouted at the Weed Smoking girlfriends. 

“IT’S NOT A WEED CIGARETTE IT’S CALLED A BUNT!!” shouted the weed smoking-girlfriend’s  boyfriend. . 

“Hehe” giggled ellia. “Tits.”

*Heehees nervously like michael jackson*

“Economics.” Said elmo. “That’s a big word for elmo.” 

“Wow!” said Castiel from the hit TV show supernatural. 

Chapter 2

“Where is the fucking lamb sauce?!” Yelled Gordon Ramsey, Celebrity chef, and the imposter from the hit mobile game amongus. But no one knows he’s the imposter from the hit mobile game  amongus. So you better not tell anyone.

[laora-inn]

Supernatural - 15x17. On Chuck, Cas, and love. Chuck’s true weakness

As all my SPN metas, it’s Destiel positive and happy end positive, don’t like - don’t read.

15x17 gave us a lot about Chuck and Amara relationship. Now I should tell, that inside the story they are not mirrors for some other SPN characters. SPN characters are supposed to be mirrors for them.

Or that’s how it was planned by Chuck.

From the start Chuck wasn’t whole. That’s where his disappointment in angels and humans comes from. That’s why, though he needs fans, the same time he despises them and can’t see the truth, which is obvious for them (i. e. for Becky).  Chuck doesn’t kill his fans. He just sends them away, ‘cause they are "annoying” and have their own demands. He prefers to ignore that. Just like channel execs preferred to ignore us when it came to Cas and DeanCas. 

Chuck sends his angelic fans away the same he did with Becky in 15x04, with the same words actually. “I didn’t kill him (Becky’s husband). He’s just far away”. Chuck ruins their lives with ignoring them - but also he ruins lives of those who he is interested in. Lucifer was his most beloved son - and Chuck gave him the Mark of Cain, which corrupted him... though Chuck’s main purpose there was to seal Amara, of course. 

That’s how his disappointment began. He sealed the part of himself and became BROKEN. Broke himself, actually.  In 15x17 Chuck says he was obsessed by fractals, repetitions of one form on different levels, and that’s true: in Sam and Dean’s story he just tries to repeat his and Amara’s one - maybe, to understand something. To fix himself. Not to be haunted of his own failures. That’s his self-therapy - but it didn’t work even a little for ages... until he saw something true. Until the story of Team Free Will began and his puppets suddenly weren’t puppets anymore. 

Why? I think we all Destihellers had known, but in 15x17 we got a serious confirmation.  These Sam and Dean are so special because of this Cas, because of his total and absolute disobedience. According to Chuck, that’s the only real difference between their story and the others’ ones. 

The reason of that is obvious - love. Cas’s perfect angelic devotion, but not to God. Here I wrote about Adam and Seraphina and the sacred oath reason - in connection to Cas.  Chuck doesn’t understand Cas’s (and love - the synonyms here) importance for his story. For him Cas “is something that always goes wrong” (Dean’s words from 15x03, fascinating *sarcasm*). Here in the end there are some thoughts about Cas’s being the greatest trickster of the show.

There are lots of Sams, Deans, Cases. But there is one Amara. In 15x17 she said her return because of the Winchesters was a part of Chuck’s plan - except her feelings for Dean, as Chuck confirmed. I suppose we can believe him - he chose these Sam and Dean to return Amara, to deal with her. Thanks to them he finally found the will to face her - not to make it looks like one sibling’s death/sealing is the logical reason for another one to live long and happy life (like for Dean in 5x22, after Sam’s sacrifice). Chuck used the story to heal his trauma - but he ignored Lucifer’s trauma, his desperate want to be loved, and the Winchesters’ story continued. Now I think that it was a part of Chuck’s plan - he liked these boytoys so much. And with considering them boytoys, his trauma wasn’t healed.  ‘Cause it wasn’t Amara who caused it. It was always Chuck himself.  In 15x04 he said that he hates himself. I have no doubts about it, but all he’s doing was making it even worse. Hurting others means deepening your wounds. To find the way you should stop. Just stop. And enjoy the moment, maybe - like Amara in 15x17 advised. 

But Chuck didn’t listen to her. Enjoyment means love, and he can’t love. Only manipulate. 

Unlike Chuck, Amara found her harmony. I assume that’s because she found love in herself, not outside. The love outside can’t be appreciated if your heart is closed, like Chuck’s. Well, Amara’s heart is open, and that makes her vulnerable I guess.  In the beginning of 15x17 Amara was reading “Norwegian wood”. I’ve also read this book and think that the main message here is: the real is always better than some dreams about. Just like Amara said to Dean about Mary in 15x15... though Dean seemed not to understand her.  Betraying Amara for Dean means betraying himself and letting Chuck, the vengeful father, who is ready to sacrifice his children in a heartbeat, win. Betraying her means Dean becomes Chuck’s mirror. He gives up his family not for his own freedom, but for Chuck’s.  ALL THIS STORY WAS CREATED BECAUSE CHUCK WANTED TO HAVE HIS FREE WILL. And he can’t. 

I assume somewhere in 15x04 he thought Amara’s consumption was the only way to become whole, to find free will, to feel joy, not disappointment. To be happy. 

In 6x20 we saw Cas’s praying to Chuck while sitting on a bench, with some flowers near. We know that was the moment when Chuck could stop Cas, prevent all this Leviathan story... unless he WANTED it. In 15x04 he said that he loved monsters, Leviathans especially. And by that time he certainly wanted Cas dead (as well as the channel execs, I suppose). 

In 15x17 we see Amara praying to Chuck while sitting on a bench, with a flower in her hands. She wants a balance with him. He wants her dead - not literally though. 

Did Chuck know that in 15x17 Amara would trap him? I think yes. He wanted that specifically.

Did he know that Sam would be alive by the end of 15x17? I think no. He was disappointed again, he WASN’T HAPPY even after Amara’s disappearance.  

Why wasn’t he? The Empty gave us a clue while making a deal with Cas: to be happy you must let yourself be happy. And that’s impossible without love, understanding, and TRANSFORMATION.

Yet Chuck didn’t understand that AGAIN. He said “kill each other, don’t kill each other - I don’t care” to boys only because he succeeded in killing Amara as a personality finally. So he didn’t need Sam and Dean as “mirrors” of his own toxic relationship with his sibling anymore.

But we - now we understand. Chuck revealed the secret himself when told about this Cas’s uniqueness.

To be whole doesn’t mean to manipulate and to devour, in fact these are the opposites. Maybe Sam, Dean and Cas ARE broken, but not as much as Chuck himself. Maybe they are broken only because of him and his trauma, his awful relationship with Amara. Maybe, unlike him, they found the real way to healing.  

Maybe their “cracks” are not like his. Maybe these “cracks” are the free will itself, the things that can change the convo, and they are also something Chuck doesn’t know about -  ‘cause he doesn’t understand them. 

He doesn’t truly understand love. 

The way Cas supports Sam while looking the way to save Jack. The things he says during Sam and Dean’s fight - small things, not important at first sight. They weren’t scripted by Chuck I think: Dean, don’t. Sam, why not? All these looks - from Sam to Cas before confronting Dean. From Cas to Sam and Dean. From Dean to Cas - Dean was looking at Cas several times while listening to Sam, for support or confirmation.

Cas couldn’t fight Dean there, he was so unsure. He didn’t even agree to buy Sam some time if Dean comes back earlier than Sam. But he supported Sam in his fight, said to him not to surrender, said, that Sam’s internal compass was functioning perfectly. That’s moral support only, but it could change things.

Dean also saw support in Cas, but Cas had doubts, he ASKED Sam, why not, and Dean just HAD TO listen. 

As a result they confirmed themselves as Team Free Will. All the three of them - they could escape the next Chuck’s trap.    Still I assume the crucial party in that belongs to Cas. He is something that always isn’t in the plan, something unpredictable.  Notice - when Sam, Jack and Dean deal with Amara, there is no Cas with them. But in the end of 15x17 it’s Cas who asks Chuck about Amara, and that wasn’t the part of his plan. I suppose this question was the reason of Chuck’s getting angry so much that he revealed the secret about this Cas as a kind of offence. Like it’s bad - to be unpredictable. To be a trickster.  To be real.

Chuck’s words about this Cas’s uniqueness influence Cas for sure. After them he looked at Dean TWICE (what for?!), and I think that’s possible that his latter question “What do you mean?” refers to these Chuck’s words especially. Cas was just lost in his thoughts when he heard them. Only when Chuck told about Jack’s death, Cas was brought back to reality. Coincidence? Hell no. 

Now Cas understood something thanks to Chuck, and that will play in 15x18 for sure. 

Also, in 15x17 we didn’t see any Cas+Empty interaction. Only Sam+Empty - but THIS IS CAS’S HELP TO SAM THAT MADE IT POSSIBLE.

So maybe Chuck knew about Sam coming to Death library. But did he know about Sam’s getting God Death book? We’ll wait and see. To conclude: Chuck can’t control love ‘cause he doesn’t understand it, doesn’t feel it. And that's the true weakness that will end him.  Chuck’s true weakness is revealed: he isn’t in love. With anything. 

[lusciousvertigo]

As One Door Closes

… another one opens or so my Mother had always said but she’d also said that drinking several litres of Absolut would ensure that you forgot your failings and the loneliness after the waste of space my Dad was had fucked off and left her with a six month old squalling me. Those doors however? Seemed to stay permanently closed unless I worked myself into an early grave to achieve exactly what I want for me. The Kessler name had once been one to be respected at one point; my Dad had served in the military from the age of seventeen, honoring those who had served before on both sides of my family going back to the time of the Civil War and he had risen swiftly through the ranks becoming a Lieutenant General which apparently is really high and Mom still had a photograph of him in her room in his fancy uniform. SHe cries over it regularly and gets really pissed off when I tell her that maybe she would feel better if she wasn’t looking at the bastard who left us every day. Turns out that my Mom has a really vicious backhand when talking about dear ol’ Dad and I’ve learnt to keep my mouth shut over it all and embrace my distaste over them both by getting rid of my golden blonde curls with a bottle of dye and refusing to go lie out in the sunshine like the bitches of Hemery High School… Ah the place that spawn opinionated bitches out to be Valley girls who spent every waking moment looking perfect for their rich Father-figure boyfriends to marry. Just like my Mom had done… after all she got herself knocked up by a man twice her age and wondered why he did a fast one the moment he could so that he wasn’t shackled to a bimbo and a brat. His loss… my Mom may well drink herself into an early grave now? But there was a time when she was the epitome of a 1950s housewife ensuring I was well-fed and cared for (by well-fed read extremely strict diet so that I would be able to be a cheerleader and make her dreams come true so that I could become head cheerleader and come home with trophies galore…) I can now clarify that I despise protein shakes and the strict regimes she had me on that had me become a stick insect before I was thirteen. Hemery had been Hell ninety per cent of the time, as I became a misfit. Not because I was in a household made up of my Mom and I but because she was an addict and it got around the school within minutes thanks to.. Guess who? The cheerleaders and the jocks. I swore there and then that I wouldn’t end up like my Mom and worked hard through school earning good grades and pushing myself in the dance studio.. I had a dream and it was one that went against the look I had grown to love and embrace fully as my own now as Ariana Keller - child of drunk and a now deceased Dad. (Trust me, if I go there - I won’t stop and the irony of it is I found out before Mom did when I saw his photo in the obituaries section of the paper} I lost myself to music and the poise and grace found in the art of ballet. My Mom had been furious with me declaring that I was letting her down and had abandoned all her hopes and dreams.. But I had been training for years now, been offered a place in The Juilliard School - yes, the place to go if you had a true passion and talent for Dance, Drama, and/or Music.. It was there that I found peace and quiet because I was out the clutches of my Mother thanks to her decision that I was too much like my Dad and that meant I was to be cast aside and forgotten. Which had meant the last five years of my life had been relatively quiet and that of course meant I was in for a returning of the dead and that would ensure that the peace I had known would end. I’d earned my BFA with a diploma (Bachelor of Fine Arts) a year ago and had found work in various theatres throughout New York and had high hopes for what would happen.. My life was indeed in my own hands and I wanted to make the most of it before everything went wrong with the arrival of one Jennifer Mayfield also known as ‘Mom’... I mean life couldn’t be good forever right? Making my way to my apartment in the Village, I trolled through the fifty or so messages she had left each and everyone filled with what had to be the ravings of a mad woman. She swore that there were monsters in the Valley; I wonder if she’d switched vodka to something a little more interesting and illegal in the form of Charlie until I remembered just why I had learnt to admire the former cheerleader turned freak in Elizabeth ‘Buffy’ Summers and her rebel boytoy Oliver Pike.. the two of them had burnt down the gym of Hemery High to kill these freaks or what was it they had been accused of being? Oh that was it ‘an attack by a gang on PCP.’ Whoever came up with that excuse clearly hadn’t actually witnessed what a gang on PCP actually looked like and they certainly didn’t have faces that resembled wax masks under the sun.. But I didn’t believe in monsters either - not that kind anyway. Monsters were child molesters, absentee parents, abusers of the elderly. There’s a fucking long list let me tell you but not one of them came from an episode of Supernatural otherwise there would be a mass hunt throughout the country for the Winchesters to ‘assist’. Also known as women (and men) wanting to drag Sam and Dean under the sack to make mini-hunters. My internal thoughts are going to have me burning in the fiery pits because if my Mom was right, swearing was sinful as was me abandoning her (despite losing my sanity when I stayed there) and I would burn. Catholics… worse than any prison guard I tell ya. But if my Mom didn’t get a call back from me; given as there were ten missed calls within the last hour? She would presume I was dead and I had already had two cases of the police contacting me as my Mom believed I was missing presumed DOA in the nearest hospital. That had been embarrassing and on the last time the police had arrived at my apartment? I had sat with them and shared my dinner with them as they took their report down … and asked me if I was concerned that my Mom had mental issues or had been assessed for depression or other such conditions. I had wanted to disappear into the ground right there and then. But that was then and this is now and clearly my Mom was concerned and I had to become the adult dealing with a child. I would get her to talk to me and then try to persuade her to put her crutch down - the vodka treble she will have no doubt poured a few of so that she would go to bed and sleep it off. I just had to hope I wouldn’t have to go to the coach station and travel from Manhattan to LA because that would screw me up in my rehearsals for my part as Ophelia in the ballet performance of Hamlet at the Zeigfeld. I couldn’t promise I wouldn’t throttle her if that occurred. Again. Perhaps it was the stress of my life and need to be the best at my classes that I would find some way to unburden the weight of fear and failure. I would visit clubs pretty much nightly to drink and forget the pain of my various pairs of dance shoes. It would be on a crowded dance floor that I would embrace the feeling of feeling truly alone when music would flow through me like the very blood in my veins. I paid little attention to the dangers I was in; or rather refused to allowed my already beleaguered mind to process the several outcomes my behaviour could of perhaps more accurately; would induce. I saw dangers and discarded them both in the form of writhing bodies in a smoky and dark club; or along the sidewalks where any old vehicle to plough me down in the blink of an eye causing my Mother to finally lose control of the few marbles she still possessed. I was alone in the crowd; but there was always a sensation akin to the hairs on the back of my neck rising. I never spoke of it; never mentioned it to the few friends at Juilliard I had lest they think nights spent in a padded room with lovely white blinding lights would aid my recovery. After all; saying someone was watching you; even when you were undressing for bed was something that could be deemed as far-fetched. Even by those I entrusted my deepest secrets. And yet.. I swore I saw the same bleached white hair in each and every bar or club I frequented.. and then it would sneak up on me when I secured the curtains to my bedroom. Someone was indeed out there; I just had no way of proving it; or knowing just why someone would do such a thing without malignant intent for my person.. He was protecting me; I escaped muggings and threats to my life only for them to disappear once I was ordered to the room. He installed fear and yet security info my mindset and I was interlude lost wondering the simplest of questions? Why me?