#or just trying to convince someone to see his pov
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something i think about all the time is genuinely how smart and perceptive of a person neil is. like obv it's a running in joke within the fandom that he's oblivious asf sometimes, esp about emotional and relational things but i feel like it's a pretty large part of his character just how much he sees people, especially the people he's close to. it's also what makes him so good with words, and how he always seems to know what to say, because he's so good at taking stock of situations and people. why did the riko roast (all 29390431 of them) land so perfectly and hit riko's sore spot so well? because neil could see right through riko. even though they didn't even know each other, neil knows about riko's inferiority complex, his family issues (esp regarding his father) and he goes right for the throat. obviously his conversations with andrew are also another focal point because the reason why andrew genuinely seems to enjoy conversing with neil isn't just because he has a crush on him (tho that's definitely a part of it) it's the fact that neil understands andrew as a person, and knows where to push and where to give ground in the conversation. he asks all the right questions and almost always comes to the correct conclusions with the information andrew gives him. he understands and sees andrew so profoundly and that's why so many of his words hit andrew harder than they would if it came from someone else. when he says "i want to see you lose control" it's him telling andrew that he knows andrew isn't the out-of-control psycho everyone paints him as. it's him telling andrew that he knows andrew keeps his emotions to himself, but he isn't afraid of them. when neil tells andrew "if it means losing you, then no" he's communicating to andrew that even tho andrew promised to protect neil, neil isn't willing for andrew to come to harm in his stead and in order to protect him. he cares more about andrew than he does about keeping himself safe, and that's probably the first time anyone's ever expressed that towards him (aaron probably feels the same way, only he's never vocalised it so clearly). and i think if you really want proof of just how smart neil is with his words and his understanding of the situations he's in, just go read the negotiation scene with ichirou. he's almost entirely honest during that scene and says everything he feels in the ice-cold manner of a wesninski, which is what he's trying to convince ichirou he is. while we don't know exactly what convinced ichirou, neil's persuasion definitely plays a part in it. he knows what ichirou wants, and he knows the right angle to push where he can just make it out alive and fine. even just the scene after baltimore when he thanks wymack for taking a chance on him, he just has a way with words, like he isn't a very emotional person, but he conveys all his feelings so well in the way he speaks and what he says. and despite everyone saying he's a pathological liar, i genuinely think he's one of the most honest characters in the series.
#neil josten the man that you are#he uses his intelligence and perception so well to his advantage#whether it's levelling the perfect insult at someone#or just trying to convince someone to see his pov#he's so smart oh my god#stop the neil slander#y'all don't know him like i do if u genuinely think he's dumb#aftg#all for the game#neil josten#zoe yaps
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Tbh the only thing I have to say abt uth is that winick kind of nailed it with âdoing it because he took me away from youâ because that is exactly the language Bruce uses when heâs talking about his grief and death the people (usually women) in his life are âtaken away from himâ
#I donât have sources to back this up and I could literally be wrong#look it up and tell me Iâm wrong or just quietly live in the satisfaction bruce saying that is in MY memory and Iâm busy#my train of thought wound up on maturity and how Bruce expects the maturity out of the children he himself didnât have at their age#but itâs excusable if you buy into Bruce being there to guide them and Bruce doing it alone#like again I could be so wrong but Bruceâs aggression and having to be held back from killing#I really donât think he wouldâve killed in those situations but it is hard and someone holding you back is easier#emotionally#and now Bruce has more maturity and does the hard thing and Steph when she did the hard thing and let back mask go#that is what killed her#maybe. you know like she was injured but the gsw couldnât have helped#but basically : if I wanted this to be taken seriously I would back it up and maybe see that this is all based on a false assumption#but I donât think Jason was wrong for expecting it out of Bruce because Bruce was. like Jason was holding Bruce back. and now heâs gone#his partner. the thing holding him back is gone. so Bruce would do it#but like I said that in my mind is Bruce leaning on someone else to give him space to be angry and not temper it (difficult)#but Jason was not lied to but like. you can see how he got the impression#plus NO this doesnât have anything to do with Superman that isnât relevant. itâs not relevant Iâm not talking about that#Iâm talking about the helicopter. and the flashbacks to that scene from jokers POV#and how Bruce had given up. and did want the joker to die. but when he resurfaced he had scabbed over and the wound wasnât so raw#and he was more mature and made the decisions he could live with.#so Jason was right. about Bruce. he was just also wrong.#I feel like this whole tag tirade is full of flaws Iâm not trying to convince anyone of anything Iâm just doing blorbo sideblog activities
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Say Yes to Heaven
[Logan Howlett x Female!Reader]
Synopsis: Sometimes all it takes is one look. One gesture. One word. One action. To remind them that not everyone sees them the same, and It's enough to send a person over the edge.
WC: 3690
Category: Fluff, First Kiss, Loganâs POV
Another Grumpy!Logan x Sunshine!Reader because itâs my comfort trope â¨đŤś
ăâ˘â˘ââ˘â˘ă
He never realized how much he wanted someone to care for.
It was something he didn't know he desired. A year ago, he didn't care for a single thing. He felt nothing. He was so numb. So empty.
He was an angry man. The kind of man people kept their distance from. Wade ruined that; he aggravated him so much that Logan started actually caring about his life. And for as much as he despised his fugly ass, he was internally grateful for him. He started to open up more and more.
Wade had a part in taking him out of rock bottom, as they say, but you⌠you aggravated him in the most endearing way possible. You were so bright, so happy, and full of life. Logan couldn't understand how someone could be like that, and he hated you for it. He thought it was so ignorant of you.
"I mean, come on, how could she be that happy all the time? It's fucking dumb. She doesn't even know me!"
That's what he said to Wade, but his roommate only laughed. He found his frustration hilarious and made fun of him constantly.
And donât even get started on the way you spoke. Never once have you raised your voice at anyone. You always talked softly, and even if you were pissed off, you still found a way to make your words sound gentle.
The man couldnât wrap his mind around the way you acted, you werenât a mutant, but you damn well could have been with that forever customer service smile you wore every day.
The level of patience and understanding you held for people was insane to him, especially the amount of patience you held with him.
He was constantly telling you to fuck off, and you took no offense; you just returned that stupidly kind smile and told him that if he needed anything, you were there for him.
You had no clue what heâs done, what he's capable of, and yet you treat him with the utmost respect. And being a mutant, respect, and kindness were two things he hadnât received in a very long time.
It made him realize thingsâabout himself and others. He started noticing you a little moreâthe way you looked and the way you acted. It started out as simple confusion and disgust⌠the typical reactions one would have when one sees an overly happy person.
But it evolved slowly into intrigue and curiosity.
Then something else. Something he couldn't describe.
His first instinct was to push it away. To try and convince himself, he was disgusted. He did this with everything he felt, but he couldnât keep lying to himself.
It wasn't disgust.
He couldn't name it; he wasn't ready to, but he knew it wasnât that.
Wade had noticed the change in him, the way he looked at you, the way he started being a little less rough with the words he chose to say. He didnât bring it up, but the shit-eating grin he gave each time Logan walked in and saw you was more than enough proof that he had picked up on it.
Of course, it only resorted to grins because the one time he opened his mouth, Logan didnât restrain himself. He popped his claws and had to go couch shopping the next day.
Whoops.
So, with Wade keeping his mouth shut after being chewed out by Blind Al and Logan trying his best to push away the foreign feelings, it finally reached a point where he could no longer ignore them.
He didnât understand why, of all nights, it had to be this one, but it was.
It was 3 am, and his old nightmares had come back to haunt him. He was restless, sweaty, and couldn't take another second of sleep.
It took a rinsing of the bathroom sink and a pitiful glare at his reflection for you to return his gaze.
He froze for a second.
You were wearing a large T-shirt, with a pair of shorts underneath. Your hair was messy, but it looked so soft, and your face was clear of makeup, leaving the imperfections of your skin that made you all the more beautiful.
Always wearing a smile. Always greeting him with a soft voice, sometimes a little raspy if just waking up, butnonetheless soft.
But once he rubbed his eyes and let out a tired yawn, you werenât there anymore.
Because you were never there, you lived across the street. You were in your apartment, sleeping, with no idea that, at that moment, the man who constantly told you to fuck off realized he couldn't stop thinking about you.
The same man who would grunt, scoff, and throw away every kind gesture now realized he secretly cherished them.
He stood there for a moment, just pondering his thoughts. His eyes were still on the spot he saw you in.
His head turned to the right, seeing the digital clock that rested on the nightstand.
3:02 am.
You were asleepâŚ. most likely asleep. You would be unhappy if he came over and woke you up, wouldn't you?
He looked back at the sink.
You could be upset, but you could also be happy. You could give him that smile. That sweet, warm smile.
It would be worth it, right? Just for that?
3:04 am
He didnât think about it. Not even for a second. Ironically, it started raining as if to test him, but the man was determined.
He put on a jacket to cover his bare chest, threw on some random shoes, and was out the door before his mind could stop him.
3:13 am
He knocked on your apartment door. He was completely drenched from the rain. His hair was messy, his jacket sticking to his body, and his shoes were so wet that the squelching sound they made was the only thing audible.
He heard shuffling. Soft steps coming closer. He could smell your scent. It shocked him how easy it was for him to recognize it.
You unlocked the door. Your brows furrowed in confusion.
His mental image of you being in sleepwear, messy hair, no makeup, had been confirmed. You were beautiful.
You had a tired look, one of the many looks he wasnât used to. But it was still a good look, and it still held your signature kindness.
He had a feeling it would.
You didn't look too shocked, just tired and confused.
You spoke. "Logan, is� Are you okay?"
Your voice was even softer than usual, the raspiness it held only making it more comforting.
You were genuinely worried about him, and it hit him then that he was being an asshole. Making you wake up in the middle of the night, and for what? Just because he wanted to see you?
Just because of that, he shouldâve given you a reason. An explanation.
He should've asked. He should have done so many things differently, but he didnât.
His head was in the clouds, and all he could think about was you.
You. That was all.
But his expression gave away that he was in a daze, and your worry only grew.
"Logan? What's wrong?"
You stepped out into the hallway and reached a hand to him.
His heart jumped a bit when you did so. It was just a gestureâone simple act of compassion.
He wasn't worthy of that, but he couldn't resist. He didn't want to.
Your fingers barely brushed against his upper arm before he moved. He grabbed your wrist.
His grip wasn't hard. His hold was gentle, as he had no intentions of hurting you. You couldâve easily pulled your arm away if you wanted to, but you didn't.
His eyes locked with yours. He wasn't sure what possessed him, but it felt so right, so he followed his instincts.
He tugged at your wrist, causing your body to fall into him. Your chest pressed against his. His arms wrapped around you, one hand cupping the back of your neck, the other resting on the small of your back.
The embrace was so sudden, and he knew the situation was far from ideal, but his senses were overflowed by your presence, your scent, your softness.
His chin rested atop your head, and his eyes fluttered closed.
It wasnât the first time he ever hugged someone, but it was the first time he hugged someone in such a way. He held onto you tightly, his grip possessive but not painful.
He was afraid to let go.
He felt your hands press against his chest. You were probably going to push him away, he thought, and he tried to prepare himself. He told himself he would let you go because it was the right thing to do, yet he didnât need to.
You hugged him back, and he almost lost his footing.
How long had it been since he last received a hug? Since the last time, someone held him and showed him affection?
Too long.
Your hands went inside his opened jacket and held onto him. Your fingers pressed against his skin, and your soft, warm breaths caressed his neck.
He could stay like this for eternity, and he would never grow tired of it.
Your voice reached his ears.
"Logan, did something happen?"
He had been standing there for quite a while. He wasnât aware of how long. Time seemed to freeze around you, but he didnât mind. He wasn't one to believe in such nonsense, but when it came to you, he was ready to accept it.
Your hand rested on his arm, and he knew you were subtly prompting him to move, and so he did.
He pulled away from the hug just enough to look at you.
Your lips were turned upwards. The corners of your eyes creased.
"Logan?"
It was then that his actions registeredâhow utterly close the two of you were, how intimately you were holding each other. He was already warm just from genetics alone, but now he felt everything around him heat up.
"I-"
He didn't know what to say. It was like he was back in that bar, drinking away every thought. He couldn't think. There was nothing. Nothing but the feel of your body against his.
But what truly sealed the deal was when he felt your thumb gently caress his knuckles. It was a small movement, barely noticeable, but it was centered exactly on the scars his claws made.
That little movement made his brain short-circuit. His hands twitched. His grip tightened. He held onto you with his entire body as if scared to let you go.
"What happened?"
You were patient with him. The fact that he hadnât even answered any of your concerns said enough.
But, eventually, he did find some words to respond with. It wasnât the answer you were searching for, but it was a response.
"Why are you always being so fucking kind?"
It was such a simple question, and yet the amount of pain it carried was overwhelming. He knew you could hear every word behind it. Every word he couldn't bring himself to say.
He didnât deserve it. He wasnât a good man. He did horrible things, and sure⌠he made an attempt to make up for it. To be better, but it couldnât have been enough, could it?
You were still here, looking at him with those soft eyes.
Why couldn't you look at him the way he deserved to be looked at? Like he was a monster.
Why did you have to look at him with those goddamn beautiful eyes?
"You deserve kindness, Logan. We all do."
And then, your voice became even softer and a little shaky. Your hands went back to massaging his knuckles. His scars.
"Just because you see yourself a certain way doesnât mean the rest of us do. I see the good in you. Always have since we first met."
You spoke so softly, yet your words were heavy with emotion.
"I know it's not easy, but try to have a little more faith in yourself."
You didnât deserve the harsh words he always threw at you. You didnât deserve any of his anger. You didn't deserve him.
"Why?" He repeated his question, his voice strained, and you didn't miss the way his jaw clenched. "Why should I?"
His arms loosened their hold around you; his hands moved down your sides, and his touch feathered light. He wasnât sure what he was doing, but he couldnât quite let go just yet.
You paid it no mind. Only staring back into his eyes with the same kindness he was so used to, the one he had grown to treasure.
"You have a right to feel the way you do, Logan. And I can't claim to understand what you've been through. I can't begin to imagine. But you are a good man. A little rough around the edges, maybe, but youâve shown me time and time again that you're trying."
A smile crept its way onto your face, and a soft giggle escaped past your lips.
Now, to be fair, he was used to hearing your laughter. With your⌠odd sense of humor, it wasnât an uncommon occurrence. But, this would be one of the firsts to add to his collection.
The one reserved for him and him only.
Your laughter wasnât loud, or annoying, or anything like Wade's. It was soft, sweet, and oh-so pleasant.
You were looking at him. Staring up at him with such love and warmth. You didn't even realize it, but he did.
"Besides, who wouldn't be a little grouchy waking up to that handsome face every morning?"
And, now, he was repulsed by the unwelcome vision of a certain masked man making his way into his head. He was so disgusted by the thought he didnât bother responding. He didn't want to.
So, instead, he moved.
He had a habit of moving on his own and not thinking about it. It went from his hands going to your sides, and now, his hands reaching out to press against the door behind you.
You were pinned against the door, and the way you looked at him didnât change. Of course, it didn't. Your eyes were always kind. They always were.
You were leaning against the door. Looking at him, waiting.
And he stared back.
He was so close, and he was tempted to pull away. To take a step back and leave. It would be the best for both of you; at least, he thinks so.
He couldn't give you anything.
He had nothing.
There was only himself. His body. His mind. His past.
His claws, too, if that counted for anything.
But, besides those, there was nothing.
He wasnât a bad man, but he wasn't good either. Not like you were. He couldnât possibly begin to match you, not even if he tried.
Which is why he had no intention of trying.
Yet, even as he thought that, his body moved even closer. The dog tags he had never taken off since he was given them hung loosely, dangling in front of your face.
One of your hands was on his chest, the other gripping onto the material of his shirt.
"Logan."
You spoke his name so softly. Almost a whisper, and yet, the sound of it was all his senses were focused on.
Your gaze shifted between his eyes and lips, and the hand that had been holding onto his shirt moved, reaching up to his shoulder.
The touch was light, as if hesitant, and it caused him to lean even closer.
It was so close. You were so close. You had been before, but never like this. Never in the way he wanted.
He wanted you so badly.
And you were right there. Looking at him with those eyes, with a soft, tender smile, and with an expression he didn't recognize.
He knew that was an invitation. You were always an open book, and your body language was no different.
And it wasn't the first time you did so.
There were many times when you looked at him. Your eyes trailing over his face. Your gaze went downwards, lingering before you snapped out of it and looked away.
He always saw it, always knew it was there, but he just chose to ignore it. He wasnât in the right mind, then. He was just another broken man, struggling to get by, trying his best.
Trying to find some meaning in his life.
But, even now, he was still hesitant. Even after coming all the way here and making his intentions clear, he struggled with it.
"Are you sure?"
Because you were so much better than him.
Because he could still remember the day the two of you met. How much of an asshole he was, how rude, how angry.
It wasnât until the seventh time you approached him that he realized that he had met someone who genuinely, wholeheartedly cared.
It wasn't until the twentieth time you approached him that he finally accepted it.
He could never forget the way you smiled and spoke to him, even though he had given you no reason to.
"Hi, Logan!"
You would say.
"Good morning!"
You would wave.
"Have a nice day, Logan."
You would nod, even though the man himself chose to ignore you. Goddamn it. You were so much better than him.
Much purer. Much more innocent.
You had a heart of gold, and a soul as white as snow. You were so good, so kind, and the thought of soiling you, of ruining your light with his darkness, it scared him.
It was the sole reason he didn't give in, even now, with you offering yourself to him.
He didn't want to ruin you.
"Yes."
No hesitation. No second thoughts.
Your eyes were so kind. So full of love, and the same emotion reflected back in his own.
But, even with the clear sign of assurance, he still felt the need to create one last line of defense.
With the hand against the door, he peeled it back enough to have your eyes catch sight of the fist it made.
In a millisecond, he unleashed his claws and slammed his fist against the door, the sharp adamantium easily slicing through the wood, causing the door to crack.
And, yet, no reaction. Not a single flinch, not a wince, not even a hitch of breath.
You weren't afraid. Not at all. Even as the claws were mere inches from your face, you weren't scared.
The corners of your mouth twitched. Upwards, and it soon bloomed into a bright smile.
He retracted his claws, and gave you another once-over, just to be sure, and you responded by lifting your hand, grasping the metal chain hanging from his neck.
Your fingers grazed against the cool metal, and your smile softened before turning into a small grin.
"For a man who states he isnât scared of anything, you sure have a lot of defense mechanisms, Logan."
Teasing. That was a new one for you.
He liked it.
"Say it again." Now, finally, you showed a different expression. Confusion mixed with curiosity. You were wondering what he meant. "My name."
"Logan."
For you, his actions were mere seconds. You had no time to process the feeling of his breath against your lips. The feeling of his stubble tickling your skin. The feeling of his warm, dry lips pressed against yours.
But, for him, it was a slow, steady motion. He took his time. He pulled you closer, his hands moving from the door and cupping the back of your head and your waist.
The kiss was soft. Gentle. Nothing rushed.
He held you like you were fragile. Like you were made of porcelain and could break at any moment. He could, theoretically, but he would rather go through Cassandraâs entire repertoire of torture than hurt you.
He lifted you up. Your legs wrapped around his waist, and your arms around his neck, his own pulling you closer, his fingers digging into your skin.
You tasted exactly how you were. Pure. Sweet.
Like heaven.
He was sure he was leaving that of the bitter alcohol he had downed on your lips, but you didn't seem fussy about it.
Not that he could focus on anything else, anyway.
He was too distracted by the way his tongue danced with yours.
Too focused on the taste of your mouth.
Too distracted by the way your hands made themselves a home in his wet hair. They would tug every once in a while, releasing a groan he hadnât known was there.
He was too distracted to care.
He was too lost in your scent. Wade always called him that character from that shity vampire movie due to his nose.
He always disagreed until you happened to mention the resemblance. Then, and only then, did he see the logic.
And you saw the logic here, tooâthe logic of how good you melted together. Experiencing it now made him question his decision to stay away.
If it was always going to be this good, this intoxicating, he shouldâve done it a long time ago.
He should've taken the chance.
It would've saved the two of you a lot of frustration, and a lot of headaches.
But it didn't matter. He was here now.
And, as his foot broke into the door, mouth still latched onto yours, with him figuring his way about your apartment, he thought:
It doesn't matter.
As long as Iâm here.
As long as youâre in my arms.
It doesn't matter.
Fortunately, that meant he didnât have to wake up to that toupee-stapled face every morning, as he had so dreadfully imagined.
Unfortunately, it also meant that the next time he saw Wade, he would have to deal with him talking his ears off about what had transpired.
But, for now, he could live with that.
He was more focused on the fact on making sure you werenât regretting your choice.
Because he sure as fuck didnât.
#logan howlett#wolverine#deadpool 3#deadpool and wolverine#deadpool#hugh jackman#wolverine x reader#wolverine fic#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett x you#logan howlett xmen#xmen#xmen fanfiction#xmen fandom#xmen x reader#marvel#marvel fic#marvel fandom#wolverine imagine#wolverine drabble#marvel x reader#x reader#reader#fluff#hugh jackman x reader#deadpool x reader#the worst wolverine#first kiss#mcu x reader#wolverine deadpool
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THE LOVE PROGNOSIS, pt. 2 â JJK (m.)
for as long as you can remember, youâve always been a hopeless romantic.
the girl whoâs always dreamt of cheesy encounters with her soulmate, grand love declarations, and a cute little beach wedding to boot. but reality pretty much slaps you hard right on the face, because love, unfortunately, doesnât come grand â itâs simple and itâs quiet, but it is quite painful, especially when the love that youâve been seeking for all your adult life has just been right under your nose all this time.
PAIRING jungkook x female reader // mingyu x female reader
GENRE r18+ (angst, fluff, smut) MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!
CHAPTER WORD COUNT 27.5k
CHAPTER WARNINGS/MISC medical!au, roommates!au, surgeon!jk, surgeon!reader (they are both 4th year residents and are co-workers), corporate lawyer!mingyu, oc and jk are bffs since med school but their love language is fighting each other <3, jk and mingyu are bffs during undergrad, hopeless romantic!oc. shirtless jk in almost every scene ijbol he needs to get locked up, jk thigh tattoo đ a dash of sexual themes (ie: making out, grinding) and violence, this is pretty much MED SCHOOL LORE GALORE bcs boy, was there so much history mentioned here, 3/4 of this is in jk pov, so ladies.... prepare yourselves đ¤so much fluff, and we counter that with not major but not minor either ANGST, so many conversations and dialogues in this one lol, this hopefully offers every answer youre looking for from part one, when ur done reading the chapter this is how the keyring looks like
NOTES hi!! this chapter was supposed to be longer but i was like.. fuck that đ its getting too long. anyway. hope u guys enjoy this one!! this is my most favorite thing ive ever written i think n im weirdly very proud of this one idk. scream into my inbox and the reply section if u have #thoughtss đđ [ important: pls make sure to read the note below ]
[ TLP MOODBOARD ] // [ SPOTIFY PLAYLIST ]
SERIES MASTERLIST | MAIN MASTERLIST
You take your sweet time trying to right your wrongs.
After that day, you were the one to initiate a call with Mingyu which he answered thankfully (you were a little skeptical about him calling you that night). You went over to his place after your shift, apologizing to him for lying about your roommate situation. Admittedly, Mingyu still doesnât seem to be wholly okay with it â but he doesnât really say anything more about it. He kissed you better that night, his lips making you forget all about the stress that youâve went through for the day, convincing you to stay over.
The night bled into two when he said he couldnât let you go. Mingyu was persistent and you were unwilling to go in the first place. Partly because who didnât want to spend more time with their significant other? But itâs also because of a certain someone that is no other than Jeon Jungkook.
Those two nights are going on four â which means that youâve been avoiding Jungkook for the past three days now.
It doesnât seem like a difficult task though because Jungkook seems to be doing the same. That was your hunch. He replies to you with dry-ass âokayâs when you text him about not going home because youâre staying at Mingyuâs. Nothing more, and nothing less.
Which is unusual of him. Sure, in your almost decade-long friendship, youâve fought a bunch of times. But it usually gets resolved in a day or two. And Jungkook wasnât ever cold like he is right now.
See, the regular Jungkook would find you anywhere on your floor at the hospital just to annoy you. When your time allows it, you eat together with your friends at lunch.
But now, he seems to always have something to do â which, okay, fair. Heâs a surgeon, after all. But he doesnât even spare you a glance whenever you two meet halfway in the hallways. Yesterday, you coincidentally scrubbed in together for the same surgery but he did not say a word to you other than, âScalpelâ.
The rest of your friends are already asking about it. Doyeon told you he had lunch with Jungkook this afternoon, but when she mentioned that maybe you were free to go with them, Jungkook suddenly had to look over a patientâs chart.
Itâs not just a hunch anymore. He really is avoiding you.
And to be honest, youâre tired of the whole pussyfooting around. Heâs being childish â and youâll be the better person to come and talk to him about it. Granted, youâre three days late. But at least youâre doing it.
You texted Mingyu earlier this afternoon that youâre coming home to your apartment tonight. He was bummed about it, you could feel it through his message, nonetheless he replied saying heâll miss you, which put a smile to your tired face from work.
When you went home from your shift at 9pm, Jungkook wasnât anywhere in the house. Which was a shame â because you were planning to talk to him.
Well. Maybe youâd wait for him.
But it seemed like you underestimated your exhaustion for the day because as soon you finished showering, dressing yourself with your bed clothes which consists of comfortable flimsy camisole and panty shorts, you went straight to bed and passed out â forgetting about Jungkook.
Itâs past 2 am when you feel yourself waking up from your deep slumber, stomach grumbling at the emptiness, and you realize you did not only forget about waiting for Jungkook but also about eating dinner.
Walking out of your room, you head straight to the kitchen where you immediately go to open the refrigerator to see if thereâs something in it you can consume. There are boxes of Chinese food take-out which makes your eyes light up. When you open to smell them, it seems that theyâre still new.
You deduce it must be Jungkookâs.
That gives you the predicament of whether you should eat it or not. You take youâre not exactly on good terms as of the moment â therefore you canât eat his food. But youâre really hungry.
Throwing away your inhibitions, you open one of the boxes, not even bothering to heat the food.
âHey,â
You almost jump upon hearing another voice. Looking to your side, you see Jungkook approaching, with only his boxers on, upper half naked. Â
âH-hey,â you say, pursing your lips into a thin line. âAre these yours?â You point to the take-out box in your hand.
Jungkook nods and heads straight to your direction. Taking one of the boxes, he hauls himself to the kitchen island, twisting his body so that he can face you.
âYep.â he responds, dipping his fingers inside the box and taking out strands of noodles from it.
You wince at the sight. âLook like worms.â
âJust like worms.â Jungkook grins, chewing on them in that obnoxious way because he knows you donât like noisy eaters.
Frowning, you decide to follow him to the island and haul yourself on top of it as well, sitting beside him. Jungkook scoots to the side to give you more room.
âItâs kind of like eating naengmyeon, I donât like naengmyeon.â You tell him, opening another box and feeling delighted to see untouched stir-fried rice. âDid you just buy this earlier?â
Jungkook nods. âLeft them in the fridge when I realized I wasnât too hungry.â
âThen you woke up feeling hungry?â You smile at him.
He chuckles. âYeah. When did you get off work?â
âNine. You?â
âTwelve am.â
You grimace at that, but nod in understanding.
Thereâs a beat of silence before Jungkook speaks up again.
âDidnât expect to see you here tonight.â
âJust wanted to remind you Iâm still your housemateâŚâ you joke, brushing your elbow against his arm in a teasing manner.
Jungkook laughs as he shakes his head. He picks up another batch of noodles in his fingers and then offers it to you, prompting you to arch your brow at him. âTry it.â
You shake your head. âI hate cold noodles.â
âJust try,â He insists, placing it closer to your face. You scrunch your nose, skeptical. It makes Jungkook chuckle lowly. âHead back.â
Hesitantly, you tilt your head back and open your mouth as Jungkook puts the noodles inside it. You almost choke on it when Jungkook laughs mid-way, making you laugh as well, but thankfully, you were able to chew all of them just fine.
âWhat the fuck.â You frown, slapping his arm good-naturedly.
âWasnât so bad, huh?â
âIt was bad.â You say, going back to eating your fried rice. Jungkook gives you a look that says heâs not convinced. Looking at his face, you roll your eyes, âItâs like eatingââ you stop mid-sentence as Jungkook quickly wipes off something on the side of your lips. Itâs so quick though that you brush it off just as instantly and continue, ââliteral worms.â
âImagine if worms tasted like noodles. Wouldnât that be sick as hell?â Jungkook muses, stretching his arm over you to reach for another take-out box on the counter. Itâs so sudden that your immediate reflex was to stretch your upper body backwards, feeling a little taken aback when Jungkookâs face gets a little too close to your stomach, with his arm rubbing over your bare thighs.
He seems like it doesnât move him, though. Just goes back to his position casually and opens another box. As he does, you canât help but take a quick look at his bulging thighs, the short length of his boxers letting you get a brief view of the tattoo that peeks out of the expanse of his skin. Youâve seen that before many times, but not the entirety â of course not. It looks like it goes up from way above. Anyway, itâs sort of like a flower, but youâre not sure. You never really asked him about it. He never brings it up either.
âOh, man, the dumplings got cold.â Jungkook picks inside his box as if heâd miraculously find one thatâs not cold.
You roll your eyes at his antics. âYou stored them in the fridge for like how many hours now?â
Ignoring you, Jungkook takes out one dumpling, trying to eat it, and you watch as he visibly winces. In a moment, he shoots one straight to the trash bin across from you.
âOh, thatâs real mature.â You say dryly.
With that, Jungkook throws another one, giving you a cheeky grin when it lands in the bin successfully for the second time.
Pursing your lips, you sarcastically say, âWow. Two points to Xavier from Jeon Jungkook.â
That makes Jungkook look at you instantly.
âHow the hell do you know that?â He gives you a look of confusion but thereâs amusement written all over his face at the same time.
âWell⌠Mingyu told me you both played for the basketball varsity team back in undergrad, so,â
Jungkook stops. Thereâs look of something in his eyes that you canât quite point out, but then suddenly, he nods.
âHe told you how good I was?â He says with a teasing tone, a contrast to his sudden and quick drop of mood a few seconds ago.
You throw him a tissue. âDonât be cocky. He just mentioned it.â
âI was captain. Two-time MOP, 2018 and 2019 NCAA Menâs Basketball Tournament.â
You look at him with silent reverence. Well, Mingyu didnât tell you all that, thatâs for sure. Itâs a bit surreal to picture Jungkook wearing a basketball uniform, though. Youâre so used to seeing him in scrubs and lab gown and his usual casual, occasionally suits when you attend formal conferences. Youâve only ever seen him sweat it out whenever he works out in the living room.
âImpressive.â You say. Jungkook grins proudly. âItâs strange I only know about it now, though.â
âYou never asked.â He shrugs. âWhat âbout you? I only know youâre little miss summa cum laude.â
Huffing, you jab at his arm when he mentions it, rolling your eyes at him which only earns you a chuckle. Regardless, you tell him, â2018 NCA College Nationals. We won Coed Division One.â
Jungkook arches a brow. âNCA⌠National Cheerleading Association?â You nod, eating from your take-out box so as to avoid Jungkookâs look after you do so.
âNo fucking way,â He says incredulously. âSeriously?â
âYeah,â You bite your lip to keep yourself from smiling too much. You never really get to share this part about you with a lot of people. To quote Jungkook, they never ask. Itâs funny when they do get surprised by it though, like he is now. When Jungkook stares at you â you donât know if itâs just in disbelief â longer than necessary, you realize heâs staring at your face and that makes you consciously fix a strand of hair behind your ear. âGo big blue, go big blue, show âem what wildcats can do.â You sing a in fast tempo, chuckling about how silly it sounds.
Jungkook utters a sound of amusement. âThatâs⌠wow. Right now, Iâm just picturing you cheering but itâs a bit hazy and shit.â
âYouâre saying you canât picture me cheering?â You playfully accuse, but you know exactly what he meant. Even you still donât believe that you actually did cheer in undergrad. When you signed up for it, it was just because you had to choose a club, and you werenât interested in anything other than that. You thought cheering would be fun and it was fun.
âNo, Iâm justââ Jungkook cuts himself off and looks at you. âOkay, now I totally deserve a cheer for that two-point shot I made just now.â
You laugh loudly at that. Covering your mouth, you look at him to see if heâs joking but he seems to be serious.
âNo.â You say, your eyes widening, body stiffening.
âCome on,â Jungkook chuckles.
You roll your eyes. âYou have to do more than a two-point shot to get a cheer.â
âOkay, what do you want me to do?â Jungkook eagerly presents a challange. You stifle a laugh when he gears up for something. âI can shoot dumplings further from here with my left hand.â
âTen feet away,â You muse, giggling when Jungkook suddenly gets off the counter, carrying the box of dumplings, and positions himself further away from you. Laughing, you shake your head before you say, âYou canât do it.â
âTry me.â He says as he begins to pick out a dumpling and concentrate on the trash can. Before he shoots, he tells you, âThis oneâs for you.â
You watch as the dumpling misses the bin.
Jungkook beats you to speaking first. âI admit. Iâm a bit rusty.â
Sneering, you eat your fried rice, not straying your eyes from him. âYou have to shoot, like, three dumplings.â
âThat was a trial shot.â he insists, eyeing you playfully, before he gears up for another again. You watch closely when he makes a move to shoot another dumpling.
It goes in. Jungkook smirks at you when you look at him, impressed.
âNot bad.â You cock your head to the side.
âTss.â He shoots another shot again and itâs successful for the second time. âThatâs two.â Jungkook shows you his fingers and you chuckle at his enthusiasm.
âLetâs see if you can get the third.â
Jungkook nods, and you cover a snicker again at the way his stance suddenly turns serious, as if heâs really taking the whole thing seriously.
In a few seconds, he shoots the last dumpling straight to the bin just as successfully as the last time.
âWhat did I say?â Jungkook brags as he goes over to the island across from you, sitting on the high chairs this time. You turn your body to look at him, containing your smile. âYour turn now.â Jungkook says with a smirk.
Your purse your lips. âIâm a bit rusty.â
âSo was I!â Jungkook claims which prompts a chuckle from you.
You look at him for a while, unsure. You close your eyes, bobbing your head side to side, covering your face as you suddenly feel a sense of embarrassment at the thought of dancing in front of him.
âPromise you wonât laugh?â You say after Jungkook tries to remove your hands off your face.
He raises his right hand and fixes his sitting posture upright. âPromise.â
âIf you show your teeth Iâll stop and so will this friendship.â You threaten as you bring your legs over the island to his direction.
Jungkook chuckles while saying a series of âYeahâs, holding your hand to help you hop off the counter safely.
You take a few quick strides to place yourself in the space between your counter and dining area and look at Jungkook who settles himself comfortably in the kitchen island chair, watching you with relaxed position and crossed arms.
Feeling uncharacteristically shy, you stand upright, suddenly aware that youâre only wearing a pair of panty shorts and a fitted camisole. You donât work out so youâre a bit conscious in front of Jungkook who looks really good in his natural form. You donât even understand how he finds time to go to the gym or do his little work-out sesh during some nights or weekends, but you shake away the thought and smile at him coyly. He has the better body, sure, but you know well enough heâll never judge you for yours⌠besides, itâs just Jungkook. He makes you feel safe and secure, no matter the context of the situation.
Off the top of your head, you do whatever it is you remember from your college routines and begin your yell.
âWildcats, get up and shout! Weâre the team thatâs gonna take it out! Give it all youâve got, letâs hear you roar!â You chuckle mid-way, forgetting a step. âSorry,â you apologize quickly, but then continue right away, trapping your bottom lip with your teeth to prevent yourself from completely losing it. âWeâre the Wildcats, and weâre here to score! Go Big Blue! Go Big Blueâ" You make a mistake again and skip a beat with your finger snaps, and when you look at Jungkook, you canât help but give in to the laughter thatâs been bubbling up inside you. âI canât do it!â You say, cutting your âperformanceâ short.
âWhat? It was good!â Jungkook says, encouraging you to continue further.
You stifle a laugh as you go back to the top again but then your mind forgets the next step and youâre messing up the choreography again. At that point, you start mindlessly cheering; jumping around and flapping your arms to make it look like somewhat of a cheer but none of the coordination. You know it looks messy, so you run over to Jungkook shamefully, plopping on the chair beside him. Bringing your legs up to the seat and covering your face in your thighs, you canât help but giggle in embarrassment.
âWoah,â Jungkook says, but you can say thereâs a hint of laughter in his tone. You know itâs not out of mockery when he lifts your head up and boop your nose. âThat was cute. Best cheer Iâve ever seen.â
âYouâre pushing it.â You hiss, kicking his knee slightly.
Jungkook captures your leg, and you squeal when he pinches your thigh. You both laugh at that and you thought Jungkookâs gonna let go of your leg but he keeps it on his lap.
âMy stomach hurts from laughing.â You tell him, taking a deep breath, trying to regulate your heart. Everything feels funny. Your cheer was funny. You mustâve looked so stupid.
Jungkook chuckles. âWildcats, get up and shoutââ
âJungkook!â You cut him off, removing your leg from his lap to kick him again on the thigh this time. That only prompts him to laugh louder.
When the high of the moment fades, Jungkook looks over at you.
âDo you feel sleepy?â
You shake your head. âNot really. At least not yet.â
He hums, and then takes your box of fried rice to eat from it.
Thereâs the silence again, but itâs quiet and comfortable. No weird tension sitting in the air.
âJungkook,â You call him after a while.
âHm.â
You clear your throat. âI meant to talk to you,â Jungkook stops eating and looks at you to acknowledge you. âIâm sorry.â
He stares at you for a moment. Then, he chuckles, shaking his head. âYou know whatâs funny? I was gonna talk to you yesterday to say Iâm sorry but then you didnât talk to me at all in the OR. I thought you were still mad at me.â
With furrowed brows, you tell him, âI thought you were mad at me. You only said âscalpelâ in the OR and then that was it. No hiâs or helloâs in the hallways for the past three days.â
âMe? Mad at you?â He says, as if he canât believe you would even think that. âI mean, you piss me off sometimes, but I donât think I was ever mad at you.â You pout. Jungkook smiles. âI can never be mad at you,â His look is gentle and warm that you feel a little flustered for a reason unknown. It just ticks a little something in your brain, tugging something at your heart. Then, Jungkook sighs. âIâm sorry, too. For the way I went about it. The âbringing boys hereâ comment was out of line.â
Thereâs a wince on your face when you hear that.
That comment did hurt a little.
But you know it was just a heat-in-the-moment type of thing, and he just wasnât able to think through his words well enough when he was⌠well, pissed â and rightfully so. Because you did something offensive to him, and you canât blame him for feeling the way he felt.
You nod at Jungkook. âThank you for saying that. Iâm saying sorry because I realized what you said. I shouldâve informed you I was bringing Mingyu home, and I shouldâve told him about you being my roommate. We really couldâve avoided that situation.â
âYou can just tell me beforehand if youâre bringing him to our place.â Jungkook shrugs.
You chuckle. âNo. That wonât happen again.â And itâs true. Itâs awkward and itâs rude when you have a roommate.
Jungkook looks at you. âOkay. I wonât do it as well,â You shake your head, playfully rolling your eyes at him. âIâm guessing you settled it pretty quickly with him?â He gestures at your neck and you realize heâs referring to the necklace youâre wearing â the one Mingyu gave you the very same day you fought.
You want to point out itâs not really new, but you settle with, âYeah. Fortunately.â as a response.
âI really am sorry for what happened.â Jungkook says and you can feel the sincerity in his voice.
âItâs fine,â Touching his arm, you give him a small smile. âHave you and Mingyu talked?â
Jungkook shakes his head. Nibbling on your bottom lip, you think about how thatâs⌠not good. They were friends before you and have just met each other again after so many years â you do not want to be that kind of person who gets in the way of some other peopleâs relationship.
And you really canât have Jungkook not liking your boyfriend or your boyfriend not liking Jungkook, either.
But as much as you want to suggest that they talk it out, you know you canât. Besides, you trust that they eventually will. Theyâre grown men.
âSoâŚâ you trail off. âAre we okay?â
Jungkookâs lips tilt upwards. âAre we okay?â
âCome on,â you roll your eyes. âDo we hug it out or like â I donât know â handshake on it?â
âLetâs hug it out like weâre twelve.â Jungkook grins and in a moment, he scoots closer to you and wraps his arms around your waist, resting his head on your chest.
The angle is a bit awkward with Jungkook crouching too much you donât doubt his position is anything but comfortable, but it works, and it gives you the opportunity to pat his head as you say, âI missed hanging out with you, buddy.â
âCanât say the same thing.â
That earns him a slight pinch to the ear easily accessible to you.
âOw!â Jungkook says and then add, âI hate to ruin the moment but⌠youâre not wearing a bra.â
You quickly grab both sides of his head to get him off your chest. He comes back sitting upright on his chair, laughing.
âFuck offââ you flip him off and then look over your box of fried rice, but then you remember he was also eating it earlier. âYou ate all of it!â
âFinders keepers.â
âI hate you.â
âHm.â
You shake your head, standing up and starting to grab all the boxes to take them to the trash bin.
âBy the way, I just got my approval from HR for our trip the next two weeks. Have you?â You ask him across the room. You can see Jungkookâs face light up at the mention.
âYeah, of course. Got approved yesterday.â Jungkook grins. You watch as he stares at you a bit longer, his face showing a hint of confusion.
You arch a brow. âWhy does your face look like that?â Jungkook shakes his head, obviously ready to dismiss it. But youâre persistent. âWhat is it?â You say, walking towards his direction and stopping in front of him.
âNothingâŚâ he trails off. Then he rubs the back of his head. âI just really thought that youâŚâ You squint your eyes at him. Then he chuckles lightly and swipes his fingers through his hair. âI just thought the trip would be cancelled.â
Your eyebrows furrow. Frowning, you nudge at him. âWhat? Of course, not! We planned that trip like six months ago. Iâm not backing out.â
Jungkook gives you a shy smile.
âOkay.â
You canât help it. You bring your hands to his cheeks and pinch them.
âHeâs so excited for his birthday trip!â You say, intentionally talking like you would to a toddler.
Jungkook predictably forces your hands out of his skin and holds your wrist a bit tight as he rolls his eyes at you.
âKnock it off.â He glares at you. But youâre not done with your fun, so you poke your finger to his waist, knowing thatâs his weak spot, and tease him some more. âSeriously.â Jungkook huffs out and your laughter becomes louder because he looks like a grumpy child right now.
âSorry.â you say, still giggling. He furrows his brows, and you canât help it, you poke at his waist again. When you do it, though, Jungkook captures your wrist, effectively stopping another one of your juvenile assaults. Suddenly, you start noting the mirth in his eyes.
Youâve seen that look before and it always ends up with you almost dying from too much laughter because he alwaysâ
âYouâre gonna regret that.â
You let out a squeal as Jungkook takes ahold of your waist, and before you can even voice out a protest, he easily hoists you up against his body, bouncing you up until you're hanging around his shoulder like a sack bag.
âWhat the hell, put me down, you prick!â You complain, slapping the rugged muscles on his back. But Jungkook just responds with a series of clicks of his tongue, carrying you across the living room.
You know heâs about to put you on the couch to tickle you to death, so you do what you could and bite down on the skin of his back.
âOuch!â Jungkook immediately reacts, stumbling a little in his stride. You snort at that, but you immediately frown when you feel a slap to your ass.
âYou asshole!â
âYou just lowered your chances of being spared,â Was his last words before you feel yourself getting put down on the surface of the sofa. Soon after, Jungkookâs poking his fingers to your waist and stomach, prompting you to erupt in fits of giggles and laughter, thrashing beneath him like a caged animal.
âPlâstopâoh my god!â You say, weakly reaching for his arms. When Jungkook doesnât relent, you continue wriggling under him, laughing and choking, saying a variety of, âStop! Iâm ââ giggle, âgonnaââ then another snort, ââdie!â
Jungkook chuckles. He torments you some more before finally stopping his fingers in their ministrations.
âYou deserve that.â Jungkook says when you both came down from the high, laughing at the messy state of your hair and the way you try to catch your breath like you just ran a triathlon.
You breathe in and out deeply, clutching your stomach that still hurts from laughing.
âFuck you.â You hiss, giving him the finger.
Jungkook bursts into laughter, and from his position in between your legs, he lets himself fall on top of you.
âJungkook, no!â Pushing him off you, you try to get away from him but the goof just forces himself beside you instead, sticking his much bigger build in between you and the back of the couch. It makes you scoot near the edge as a result, and you hold onto his arm so that you donât fall off, tangling your leg against his own for added support. Pinching his waist in which he lets out an ingenuine âOwe!â to, you face him as you say, âYou are so annoying.â
Jungkook just gives you a shit-eating grin. âWho started it?â
âYou almost killed me.â You say dryly.
âDonât be dramatic.â He rolls his eyes.
Suddenly, you realize the position you are both in.
Your bare legs are intermingled against each other, Jungkook has one arm wrapped around your waist, and from the lack of clothes on both sides, you can feel pretty much everything.
Thereâs a weird feeling in the pit of your stomach upon the epiphany.
Jungkookâs looking at you with a playful grin, but as he notices you staring at him, he stills. From such close proximity, you can almost trace out the lines of his features. The scar on his cheek, the mole under his lip, and the pimple scar that was probably from a week ago. At that thought, you think about: if you can see him so close like this, he can also probably see you, and thatâs when you break away from the contact.
âShit.â You hiss as you let yourself fall off the floor by rolling around, away from his hold and touch and him in general.
Jungkook immediately scoots to the edge of the sofa to look down at you with confused eyes. âThe hell?â
âDonât worry,â you wave your hand at him.
He snorts. âDid you just fall?â
You roll your eyes. Of course, heâd think that. But you let him, standing up from the floor.
âYeah, yeah, whatever you say.â
You hear Jungkookâs boisterous laughter as you walk towards the kitchen again, stopping in front of the fridge to get some water.
âYouâre going to bed now?â Asks Jungkook, following you to the fridge and mirroring your activity.
Nodding at his question, you peer from the rim of the glass as you answer, âYeah, I donât want to be sleeping at the hospital later.â
âFair.â
Soon after, you both decided to clean up a bit in the kitchen and when you finished, you two headed towards the direction of your bedrooms. Itâs located just near the kitchen, with the doors located beside each other.
When you turn the knob open to your own door, Jungkook calls you, catching your attention.
You arch a brow at him, waiting.
âGood night,â Jungkook says. You drop your kitted brows and smile. Youâre about to greet him the same but then he adds, âAlsoâ that was a really great cheer.â
âUgh, Jungkook!â
You look across the bed to see Mingyu still on his laptop on his worktable, working on something. An hour and thirty minutes have passed since you arrived at his place, but youâre still not getting the least bit of attention from him.
You get it, itâs work, but he asked you to come over⌠isnât it only fair to expect a little bit of something?
Getting up from the bed, you trudge over to his direction.
âHi,â you say, ducking down to wrap your arms around his neck from the back of his swivel chair and kissing the spot below his ear.
âHi,â Mingyu meets the kiss you give him on the lips. He reaches for your hands resting on top of chest and holds it there, looking at you. You delight at the hint of attention. âIâll just be in a few minutes. Youâre staying, right?â
You grin. âOf course.â
âGood.â
Rolling your eyes, you take your hands off him and stand upright once again. Mingyu rotates his chair so he can look at you with his undivided attention, voicing out a low whistle when he takes in your outfit â or lack of it thereof.
You arch a brow, knowing well heâs ogling you only in your bra and panties, squinting your eyes at him. Slowly, you glide your leg over his waist and plop yourself down on his lap, waiting for any protest from him. It doesnât come, and so you give him a grin before planting your lips against his.
The kiss turns heated in a matter of seconds, with Mingyu squeezing over your bra and taking in your soft moans against his mouth, feeling the delicious roll of your hips against his crotch where you feel a semi growing already. Â
âSweetheart,â Mingyu grunts. When you donât answer that, he cups your jaw, making you look at him. â__.â
âWhat?â You say, more like a whine, looking at him with hooded eyes. Youâre starting to feel sticky in your underwear and you need him to do something about it.
âNot now, sweetheart. I told you, Iâm working.â
You frown. Thereâs a beat of silence before you let out a sigh. âOkay.â You say, getting off his lap.
âIâll take care of you when Iâm done.â He promises, taking ahold of your wrist, looking up at you.
Pursing your lips, you look away. âItâs fine.â When Mingyu lets go, you look at the direction of the bathroom. âIâm gonna take a shower,â you tell him. âYouâre free to join me if you want or whatever.â
You know he canât and that he wonât.
âAlright.â Was the last thing you heard before you walked towards the bathroom door.
Youâve been over at his place too many times to count now, and youâre slowly building your shower essentials in his own bathroom. Your body wash, your face cream, your shampoo, your conditioner â even your moisturizer and your eye mask are already placed inside his bathroom cabinet.
As you step out of the shower box, all clean and fresh, you go over to the lavatory to brush your teeth. At the sight of both your cups sitting beside each other, you smile.
You look in the mirror â noting the way your lips canât stop from curling up at the thoughts running inside your head.
Shaking them off, you grab Mingyuâs robe and put it over yourself, turning the knob around to step out of the bathroom.
You see Mingyu on his bed this time around, but his laptopâs still perched on his lap.
He looks up when he sees you. âReady to sleep?â
You nod, feeling at home the way you automatically go towards his closet to pick out a shirt and some panties you left over the time.
As youâre in the process of dressing yourself, a phoneâs ding rings in the room.
Looking at Mingyu, you watch as he checks his phone, assuming it came from him. When he puts it down, he looks at your plugged phone on the bedside table.
âWhat is it?â You ask, now properly dressed, walking to the bed.
You note the way Mingyuâs gaze changes as he hands you your phone.
âItâs Jungkook.â He says with a weirdly clipped tone. Then another ding comes. A beat, and then your phone rings.
Your brow shoots up, taking the device from him and checking it yourself.
Jungkookâs face is plastered over your screen â a picture of him wasted in his room two years ago, taken from your Thailand trip with the rest of your friends. Heâs sleeping with his mouth open, shirtless in the middle of the hut, only covered up with his trunks. You remember setting it as his contact photo because it was funny back then. Jungkook hates the photo, and your friends always made fun of him for it.
Right now, though, it doesnât feel the least bit funny. Not when Mingyuâs certainly saw it. Not when he looks a little put off as soon as he sees a glimpse of it when he was passing your phone to you.
âIâll just answer this.â You say, standing from the bed again.
You donât expect Mingyu to suddenly shoot you a question, âYou canât answer here?â
Brows knitting together, you give him an uncertain look. âItâs just Jungkook.â
âYeah⌠so, why not here?â
You relent, seeing the point heâs trying to make. Plopping yourself on the bed again, you answer Jungkookâs call and put the phone over your ear.
âJungkook,â
â__,â he sighs out your name, sounding relieved. âThank fuck.â
âWhatâs wrong?â You ask, growing a bit concerned at his tone.
You can hear some shuffling from the other line as Jungkook tells you, âDid you see me with my pager in the locker room earlier?â
âOh, uh⌠let me thinkâŚâ you trail off, trying to remember the events earlier. As you do that, you notice Mingyuâs fingers trailing his hands to your bare legs, but you ignore it as you answer Jungkook, âI think I didnât, yeah. I didnât.â Jungkook hisses. âDid you check your car?â you ask, trying to help out.
âAlready did. Itâs not in there, either. I really think I accidentally threw it out in the bin along with some trash in my pockets.â He says, sounding a little distressed now.
âWell⌠you can always just go to the operator, you know? Get a new pager?â you offer. Thereâs a drop of kiss on your shoulder that makes you shudder, and you look at Mingyu with furrowed brows. He doesnât say anything, though, just let his fingers trail upwards, his hand sliding under your shirt, gripping your thigh. Your boyfriend just gives you a sly smile, and you squint your eyes at him, confused at what heâs playing at.Â
âI know. But, ugh, you know I lost two pagers already this year. Sungkyun hates me at this pointââ
Jungkookâs answer suddenly drowns out when Mingyu grazes his thumb on your clothed clit.
âOh.â
ââwhat?â Jungkook halts, asking about your abrupt reaction.
You bite your lip in an effort to shut yourself up, and when Mingyuâs hand makes another move again, your free hand shoots up to stop him.
âHold on a second, Jungkook,â you say, quickly pressing mute.
Mingyu looks at you with a smirk, playful smile painting his face. âYou know you can continue, right?â
At that, your brows furrow even further.
âWhat are you doing?â You didnât mean to sound curt but with the way Mingyuâs expression changes, it may have sounded that way.
You⌠couldnât help it.
âI wanted to touch you,â Mingyu tells you after a beat of awkward silence. Then, his hand retreats to himself. âDo you not want to?â
Thereâs guilt that springs up inside you when you see the look on his face as he says those words.
âNo, Iâm sorryâ itâs just⌠I want to. I just⌠not with somebody on the phone?â You put it out like a question, unsure of yourself.
The room is quiet for awhile and suddenly thereâs a thick tension that hangs in the air.
You reach out for Mingyu but then drop your hand to your sides when he moves to sit on the edge of the bed.
He turns his head to you with an unreadable expression on his face. âIs it because itâs Jungkook?â
You frown at his tone.
It sounded accusatory.
âExcuse me?â You say, taking immediate offense. When Mingyu shrugs, you feel a bit of annoyance bubble up inside you. âI wouldâve still stopped you if it was anybody else on the phone, Mingyu.â you say, tone firm and leveled.
âIâm sorry, then.â
But he definitely doesnât sound like it. His sarcasm makes you snap. âWhatâs up with you?â
Mingyu opens his mouth to say something but then he closes it again. You watch him with confused eyes, completely at loss of context where heâs at. The night was going fine as usual and suddenly, thereâs this.
After a few seconds, Mingyu sighs. âWhat are you even talking about right now?â He glances at your phone.
âItâsââ you take a glance at it too. âItâs just his pager.â
âPager?â
âYes.â
âHe asks you about his pager in the middle of the night, knowing full well youâre with me?â
âIââ you stop yourself, words suddenly getting lost in your tongue. Not because you donât know the answer to his question, but because you hate the way he phrased it â and honestly, youâre starting to feel icky about how heâs going with it. What was he trying to do? Pin you down with accusatory notions?
You donât fucking get it. Jungkookâs his friend. Itâs so bizarre to even think about how Mingyu is seemingly acting jealous over his supposed friend.
âYou know what?â You say instead, not wanting to discuss it further with him anymore. Itâs just gonna lead to an unnecessary fight â and frankly, you donât want to deal with his jealousy. It seems so⌠futile. âCan we just sleep this whole thing off?â
Mingyu looks at you and for the first time, his eyes donât look gentle. He looks at you with a bit of a frown, and you get it. You do. Youâre not exactly happy, either. Not right now, with the way heâs acting.
âDo you want me to go?â You ask, ready to step out of bed.
âI didnât tell you to.â Mingyu says, voice equally strained.
You sigh. âWhat do you want me to do, Mingyu? Are you jealous, is that it?â You meant it to be completely rhetorical, not at all expecting him to say anything.
But he answers instantly. âWhat if I say I am?â
Your lips part. Youâre surprised at the confirmation, but you shake your thoughts off it.
âThen itâs completely unnecessary,â you tell him, as genuine as you can sound. When Mingyu doesnât move in his position on the edge of the bed, you crawl towards him. Testing the waters, you touch his arm to see if he would avoid your touch, but when you do rest your hand on his shoulder, he doesnât stray. âI like you, Gyu.â
Cocking your head to the side, you watch as his face still sports a cold expression. But he says, âI like you too, you know that,â
âButâŚ?â you try to get out the words from him, because you knew thereâs more.
âI donât want you to think Iâm being irrational about this whole thing,â he starts, and you nod your head, trying to show him that you get it. Mingyu licks his lips before he continues, âI just⌠I guess I just want you to put boundaries around your friendship with Jeon.â
That makes you stop. Nevermind the strange way he called Jungkook by his surname.
âHow do you mean by that?â You ask with furrowed brows.
âYouâre just really close with him. And you live in one apartment together.â He points out.
âMingyuâŚâ you say, suddenly feeling tired all over again. âI thought we already talked about that.â
âDoesnât mean Iâm a hundred percent comfortable with it, you know?â
It feels like you got electrocuted by his words the way you quickly retreat your hands. âThatâsâŚâ you trail off, not really knowing what to say.
Thankfully, though, Mingyu interjects before you can slip into a dilemma.
âI know, I know about why youâre living with him and all that stuff. We talked about it. Itâs justâŚâ he reaches for your hand. Entangling your fingers together, Mingyu brings your knuckles to his lips and presses a kiss there. âI want you all the time. And I guess I really am just jealous â even though itâs juvenile. Iâm jealous that heâs known you far longer than me.â
âButâ Iâm here thrice a week. I make time for the both of us. And it doesnât really matter how long youâve known me for, Gyu,â you respond truthfully.
He nods.
âIâm sorry.â
You shake your head. âNo, Iâm sorry. I guess I justâ I got in way over my head that I also forgot to take your feelings into account,â
Mingyu smiles, and there goes his soft gentle expression again.
âI know. Itâs fine. You donât have anything to be sorry about. Itâs me whoâs being unreasonable.â
âNo, itâs not unreasonable,â you tell him. âI get it. Boundaries, Mingyu. I know what youâre talking about.â
Mingyu scooches closer and presses a sweet kiss to your lips. You gladly bask in it, smiling against his lips, keeping your gentle gaze towards him as he breaks away.
âIâm sorry for being a bummer.â
You kiss him again and the way he inserts his tongue in your mouth distracts you a bit but you manage to break the contact. Soon, heâs lying down beside you and when you check your phone, your call with Jungkook has already ended, but there are two messages from him on your notifications.
[12:35am] jaykayđ¤ : are you still alive [12:38am] jaykayđ¤ : ok nevermind iâll hang the call i actually found my pager just now đ [12:38am] jaykayđ¤ : it was in the kitchen counter LOL [12:45am] jaykayđ¤ : ok bye. night
You were going to reply but decide against it for some reason.
Putting your phone down to the bedside table, you follow Mingyu under the sheets and as usual, you face against his direction just like he does.
Unfortunately, he doesnât really like cuddling that much. Heâd share his space to a certain extent, just like how you got into his bed in the first place, but not the lengths of cuddling together in bed. Mingyu didnât tell you why â and you donât want to come off as clingy, so you donât bother asking.
Itâs strange, though. Now that he told you a while ago that he, apparently, âwants you all the timeâ. Shouldnât he like to cuddle you in bed, then? But you donât want to dwell in it too much, afraid that you may be digging yourself a hole if you were to keep it up.
As you lay your cheek on your folded hands, you play back the events of the night and think about how youâve seen this film before.
When you were in med school, Eunwoo always had something to say about your friendship with Jungkook. He wasnât direct with it, but with the way he never bothered to make friends with Jungkook or always had a grimace on his face when you mentioned him in passing, it was enough for you to conclude that Eunwoo was always⌠wary of Jungkook â and definitely in a jealous type of way.
He said almost the exact same thing as Mingyu â that boundaries should be built; that Jungkook and you are too close, why is he calling you in the middle of the night to ask about mundane things, why does he know too much about your motherâs preferences, and why is he buddy-buddy with your dad who otherwise always had an uninterested expression on his face?
It wasnât even just Mingyu. Your past flings for the past four years youâve been single always got put off when they heard that youâre rooming with a guy â even more so when you mention that heâs your bestfriend.
Youâre not stupid to not see how it looks like from the outside perspective â and youâre not dense to not ever consider the possibility of something romantic brewing within the friendship. You have thought about it before â had an instant crush on him the first time you met at the law library back in post grad school. But it was fleeting at best, especially when Eunwoo came into your life a few weeks later.
Nayeon, Doyeon, and Taehyung have also hinted at it. Sometimes â most of the time, really, teasing you two, especially Taehyung. Even the most mature one among your friends â Yoongi â once told you both to get married at forty. He was joking, though he looked way too serious for someone who was just supposed to be joking.
And there was that one dreadful time in third year of med school when Jungkook almost kissed you.
You buried that memory in the very depths of your mind â not ever wanting to revisit it again. It was a bad time, and it was just not a good thing to look back at. Jungkook acted irresponsible, and you stupidly let yourself be complicit in it, even though you knew better.
Nothing even happened â but that memory was just that. A mere memory. You doubt Jungkook even remembers that himself.
Hereâs the thing: youâve just never seen Jungkook past the person you consider as a friend. Youâve never been weird about the women he dated â or if he dated, at all. Heâs also always been supportive of your relationships⌠as far as youâre concerned. Regardless of what everybody says, you both seem to agree that youâre just better off as friends. You work better that way.
Jungkookâs a good guy, though. He does have tons of flings â but heâs just conventionally attractive and works hard for a body that is to die for. Women like that. Additionally, he has a stable job and even though he annoys you about splitting the delivery fee when you do take-out, heâs actually quite rich â or, his family is â heâd always insist.
You get it though. As a co-resident, you both donât really make that much (for the work that you do) â at least not yet.
But he was indeed born in generational wealth, coming from a family of doctors, which is why itâs quite impressive that he knows how to handle his life by his own hard work. His intelligence and perseverance are some of the things you admire about him, his drive to make a name for himself and never leeching off his familyâs name. Jungkook doesnât ever brag about how his neurosurgeon dad is one of the best in the country and how his mom is a legend in cardiac surgery â even though sometimes, he could use it a little. Heâs playful yet charming; quiet when youâre just knowing him, but heâll eventually talk a lot when you get close.
As a friend, heâs quite the best youâve ever had.
And even though you donât really see him past that, you know in your heart that whoever ends up with him romantically will be a very lucky person.
âYouâre a pussy.â
âDoyeon.â
Doyeon huffs, rolling her eyes so hard at Taehyungâs reprimand and then goes back to glaring at Jungkook again who just looks at her with a pathetic expression.
âWhat? Iâm right. Heâs a pussy and youâre an even bigger pussy for defending him being a pussy.â She says, furrowing her eyebrows angrily.
âWhy are we talking about pussies?â
Nayeon suddenly enters the on-call room and Jungkook nearly has a heart attack.
âWhat the hell, you should at least knock. Jesus.â Jungkook says, clutching his chest, looking at Nayeon with an almost offended expression who closes the door behind her.
âWere you scared it was __? See!â Doyeon sighs out in frustration. âSuch a fucking pussy.â
âSuch a fucking pussy,â Jungkook mocks, using a higher pitch to imitate Doyeon poorly.
âAnd a child too.â She rolls her eyes and throws him a pillow. It misses Jungkook and hits Taehyung instead.
âSeriously, what are you so mad about today? You have that mood. Did you and your secret boyfriend fight?â Taehyung spits out.
Everybody stills in the room when Doyeon gives him a sharp glare. That pretty much makes everyone shut up, especially Taehyung who makes a show of physically zipping his mouth.
Nayeon fakes a cough and trudges towards Jungkook sitting on one of the beds. She throws her heavy hands on his shoulders, more like slaps, and then looks at Doyeon as she asks, âWhat are we calling this man a pussy for?â
âOh, ask him. Or his dumber best friend.â Doyeon rolls his eyes and looks at Taehyung, crossing her arms and leaning her back on the chair sheâs sitting on from across the room.
âYouâre starting to hurt my feelings and I hate you.â Taehyung says from the other bed.
âWhy?â Nayeon ignores their banter and furrows her brows at Jungkook curiously.
Jungkook hisses under his breath. âItâs nothing. She calls me a pussy for literally everything.â
Doyeon butts in. âYeah, are you gonna cry?â
âIf __ was here, sheâs gonna be on my side, you know that?â Jungkook rebuts.
âIf __ was here, youâd be panicking because sheâll know about your little secret.â
âOof.â Taehyung comments.
âOh, JungkookieâŚâ Nayeon looks down at him with worried eyes. When he looks up with a sad look, she starts rubbing his shoulders as some sort of comfort, already knowing about what this might be about. âThis is about⌠the thing?â
He nods weakly. âYes. And no. Uh, well, this is⌠you know about the birthday trip in the next five days, right? So, she asked me if she could bring, uh, Mingyu along.â
âOh.â Nayeon utters, looking at Doyeon for confirmation.
Doyeon nods, and then nags, âAsk him what he said.â
Nayeon looks at him. âWhat did you say?â
âI said yes.â
âOh.â
Jungkook looks down in slight shame at Nayeonâs reaction. She completely stops her handsâ ministrations on his shoulder, indicating that even she could not believe what he just did.
This makes Jungkook even feel worse.
Leaning his elbow on his thighs, he runs his fingers through his hair as he says, âI mean, how could I have said no? I wouldâve looked like an asshole. Besides, Mingyu and I are college friends. Thereâs no reason for me to prohibit him from this trip. Like, at all.â
âYeah, you and Mingyu are college friends but, ultimately, itâs our trip, right? __ wouldâve understood if you said no.â Doyeon says, still not over her justification from a while ago.
âI know, I know. But still⌠I didnât want to say no to her.â Jungkook tells Doyeon, not having a lot to say more than that.
Itâs the plain truth, anyway. He truly, simply does not want to say no to you. Not ever.
âBut JungkookâŚâ Nayeon interrupts. âWould it be okay for you? We know how you feel about the whole â er â Mingyu thing. Can you really take them being close together? Especially on a trip for your birthday?â
Though Nayeonâs voice is soft and her gaze gentle, her words hit him like a ton of bricks.
Truthfully, he doesnât know what to feel about the whole thing. You dating Mingyu is one thing, but you bringing him along on your trips is another. It means that heâs it.
That youâre getting serious.
He hates himself for hating the idea. Jungkookâs always wanted to be nothing but supportive of you. Heâd done it perfectly well with Eunwoo before, and your flings in the past four years have never upgraded past to being solely flings so he never worried about them, but now with Mingyu⌠itâs hard to pretend like itâs not killing him when you talk about how much you like him.
You have that lovestruck look on your face when Mingyu comes up in a conversation. For the first time in a while, you look genuinely happy. Jungkook always thought that your feelings for Eunwoo still lingered over the past few years â and how could it not, when you were literally engaged to him for a year? You told him one time that he may have been your greatest love⌠and he fears that it might be the same with Mingyu.
Where does that exactly leave him?
âWhat I think doesnât really matter. And itâs just for week.â he murmurs, but the others hear it anyway.
âAn excruciating week, you mean.â Doyeon says. She stands up from her chair. âYou know what, Iâm over this whole thing. Iâve witnessed you pine over her for whole eight years â and Iâm just â Iâm moving on from this. And I have a surgery. Iâm going out.â
Jungkook grimaces when Doyeon heads towards the door.
âDoyeon, donât be mean to Jungkook. Heâs trying his best, you know? The timing is just not right andââ
âWhat timing?â
As soon as Doyeon twisted the doorknob, pulling the door open to completely head out, you came barging in, cutting off Nayeonâs words.
Her eyes widen a little at your sudden arrival. And Jungkook scrambles to think of an effort to swerve the subject, but Taehyung beats him to it.
â__, heyyy,â he prolongs the word quite unnaturally, chuckling at the end of it for no reason. Jungkook internally notes to tell him later never dare try to save anything ever again.
That makes you furrow your brows in confusion. Directing your look to Doyeon who stopped on her tracks, you ask her instead, âWhatâs going on? What about Jungkook trying his best?â
Doyeon looks at Jungkook and then you. You wait, but then she just rolls her eyes â just completely done about the whole thing. Like she said earlier.
âHeâs trying his best not to be a pussy â well, allegedly.â At that, she goes out of the room, ignoring your calls to pull her back in.
âUh⌠I think I have a surgery in twenty. See you guys around. Gotta scrub in.â Taehyung jumps from the other bed and Jungkook makes sure to extend his leg forward so that the older guy trips on it as he walks. âWhat the fuck, man.â Taehyung looks at him, offense written all over his face.
Jungkook gives him a glare. Taehyung chooses to ignore it rather than prolong it and walks past you at the door.
âBye, fuckers.â
âDonât call me a fucker!â Nayeon chimes in but Taehyungâs already out of the room.
âHey, seriously! What was that?â You head towards the bed where Jungkook and Nayeon are, situating yourself on the far end of the bed to lean on the frame. You take off your sneakers in one swift move and lay your feet on Jungkookâs lap.
âItâs nothing. You know how Doyeon always bullies meâŚâ Jungkook says, ignoring the tingling sensation that starts to creep up his spine at the way you casually initiate physical contact.
He needs to get a grip. You most probably donât really mean anything by it.
âShe does not bully you.â Nayeon rolls her eyes beside him.
âYou probably deserve it.â you say, pulling out and eating some strawberry yogurt.
Nayeon laughs at your remark, but then itâs cut short when a pager suddenly beeps. Instantly, all of you take out your own and check if it was yours.
âAlright, thatâs my call.â
âBye. Good luck.â You say, offering your cup to Nayeon, but she only shakes her head. Meanwhile, Jungkook gives her a pair of thumbs up.
When Nayeon leaves the room, you nudge Jungkook with your foot.
âHey,â
Jungkook looks at you with a brow raised.
âCan you rub my foot? Please rub my foot.â You say, making the best rendition of puppy face, extending your sock-cladded foot in his direction.
He scoffs. âDo you think Iâm a pushover?â
You gasp dramatically. âI do not! I think youâre a cool person whoâd totally give me foot rubs.â
âUnfortunately, Iâm not a cool person who would give you foot rubs.â
You groan. âI gave you a massage weeks ago.â
âThat was, like, two months ago.â Jungkook says drily.
âIt counts because you didnât do anything to repay me for my kindness.â
âOh, you need your kindness paid back?â Jungkook teases, wiggling his eyebrows at you.
You pout at him and then whine. âPlease, just three minutes, I swear. Iâll even put up a timer.â
Indeed, Jungkook is a pushover. Pushover to your cute pout and every request. Again, he could just not find it in himself to say no to you. Not even in his wildest dreams.
But itâs never not fun to tease you before he relents. âFine. Two minutes.â He says, pretending to begrudge the thought of giving you a foot massage, even though inside, heâs quite thrilled to be doing so.
It would be a lie to say that it isnât one of his favorite past times in the quiet evenings of your apartment. Jungkook loves the weight of your leg on his lap, loves the way you thank him in between groans, and loves that he just gets to be close to you in almost such an intimate way.
âYour feet stink.â Jungkook decides to tease, scrunching his nose, feigning disgust.
âDonât lie. Also, your feet stink even more, donât try me.â
âMy feet do not stink.â
âLetâs just agree to disagree,â You grin. âIâm starting a timer.â You say, grabbing your phone, pressing some stuff on it before you put it on the mattress.
âLet me see, for all I know, you set it to five instead of three.â
You look at him with widen eyes, stiffening.
âItâs three minutes.â
âYour nostrils are flaring, youâre lying.â
You groan. âPlease. Dinner is on me later.â
That obviously catches Jungkookâs attention.
âYouâre staying at home for the night?â
You look at him weird. âYeah, of course. Whatâs with that face?â
Jungkook shakes his head, hides a small smile as he looks down to your feet on his lap and takes a hold of one. He takes off your sock for you and begins massaging the tendons of your foot, noting the way you immediately lean back and relax.
âNothing. I just thought youâd be staying at Mingyuâs again.â
âAh,â you nod your head. When Mingyu's name is mentioned, you visibly frown. Itâs the kind of face that you make when youâre deep in thought. âI was supposed to. But I donât know⌠we fought this morning.â
Jungkook raises a brow. âYou wanna talk about it?â
You shrug. âNot really. Itâs a weird argument. I donât know.â
He wants so badly to poke around and find out⌠but somehow, thereâs something in him that tells him not to bother.
Anyway, youâre going home tonight so thatâs all that matters. Jungkook begins to think about what to eat for dinner⌠heâd love to cook something, nevermind that heâs tired from his overnight shift yesterday. He also only got around four total hours of sleep in the past 48 hours, and that was not even consecutive hours â just the sum. That is why he was in the on-call rooms, until Taehyung suddenly barged in, followed by Doyeon, Nayeon, and then you.
âOhâ there, thatâs so good, Jungkook,â you say after a particularly hard press against the ball of your heel.
Jungkook knows better than to let his mind wander upon hearing that from you. Heâs massaging you, of course that was gonna be the natural reaction.
Itâs also quite pathetic to be even thinking about it in the first place â considering that your mind might most likely be weighed by yours and Mingyuâs argument â your boyfriend.
âHey, about what I said a few days ago,â you started to speak again, breaking the momentary silence. Jungkook hums to acknowledge you. âI know you said yes to me bringing Mingyu along, but, uh, Iâm not sure if he still plans to.â
âAh,â Jungkook nods. Was the argument that bad? âOkay.â
âYeah. He has to fly over to Arizona for something that week. Told me he may be able to arrive and join us on the second day, which is the exact date of your birthday, but honestly, Iâm not sure. His sched changes a lot.â
Deep down, Jungkook wishes Mingyu just opts out of joining in altogether.
But he doesnât have to tell you that.
âThatâs a shame.â he comments, not really meaning it. He massages your other foot with ginger hands, which has you letting out soft sighs again. Jungkook buries them in the back of his head, lest his mind goes to territories that are absolutely humiliating.
âI knowâŚâ you trail off. You look like you have more to say as well, but then the door to the room opens. Again.
âForgot my pager.â Doyeon announces, crossing the room with quick steps to reach for the forgotten thing she left on the table.
When Doyeonâs gaze falls back to the both of you, she raises a brow, and then her eyes direct their way towards Jungkookâs hands on your foot.
Youâre about to say something when Doyeon rolls his eyes at Jungkook. Then, without giving you the opportunity to speak, she heads out of the room quickly, leaving Jungkook to look in another direction in quiet shame.
âWhat was that?â You comment, confused at what just happened.
âEh, sheâs in a sour mood today. Itâs regular Doyeon.â Shrugs Jungkook, trying to swerve the subject.
You pout. âAre you two fighting again for real?â
Jungkook chuckles. âNo, itâs not serious. You know how Doyeon and I get.â
You squint your eyes, but say nothing nonetheless.
Meanwhile, Jungkook hisses internally.
Jungkook gets Doyeon. You all have been friends since freshman year of med school â the founder of your study group â and she was also the first one to find out about Jungkookâs little crush. He didnât even have to say it explicitly, she just knew. Eventually, Jungkook told Taehyung. He has quite a big mouth, unfortunately, so when you started your internship at the hospital â he lets it slip in a conversation with Nayeon who was just becoming your friend that time â leading the situation to where it is right now.
Out of all of them, though, Doyeon got it pretty hard. Sheâs witnessed the early stages of Jungkookâs infatuation towards you in the first semester of med school, had to keep quiet during study sessions. She was even supportive that time, telling Jungkook to just go for it â but then Eunwoo happened, and the confession never saw the light of day.
When they broke up, Doyeon became hopeful again, just as Jungkook was. But you were showing no signs of moving on and Jungkook had no choice but to step back for a bit.
The past two years, though, Doyeon became more insistent, telling him youâre single and itâs the fattest chance Jungkook can ever get.
But sheâs right, after all. Jungkookâs a pussy. He hides his feelings well â a pro at the sport, really, at this point.
When Mingyu happened a few months ago, Doyeonâs just over it. She told Jungkook one time in a drinking session that the ship has sunk and heâs going to be in his sixties regretting not ever confessing to you. Sometimes, he wakes up at night in sweat from a nightmare that involved Doyeon murdering him because of his emotional constipation.
Jungkook knows she just wants the best for him â even though sheâs more on showing him tough love instead of a gentle one. Doyeonâs always been like that, but sheâs a good friend. When things went haywire, she was there to genuinely sympathize with him and console him â together with Taehyung and some of his other friends.
But in Jungkookâs defense, Doyeon just also doesnât get it.
Itâs so easy to just say fuck it and make a confession already, so easy to think about how things could turn positively â but sheâs not â theyâre not â in Jungkookâs shoes. They will never be.
So many things could go wrong if he ever were to listen to his heart. Sure, heâs had the chance over the past four years â most would say that. But itâs not a chance when youâve spent half of it moving on from Eunwoo. Itâs not a chance when you spent the other half trying to go on dates and fail â each one making you more miserable about your love life, as you told him so many nights ago in those rare special moments in the balcony of your apartment.
Those four years you were single was never a chance â not when you never showed any bit of interest.
Itâs the reality that his friends always somehow miss when encouraging him to confess his feelings.
Youâre friends for almost a decade now â eight years to be exact â but not once did you ever hint at wanting to be in a relationship with him. Your reaction to that always involved a disgusted expression and a variation of âNo way!â. Might be a joke just to tease him â but also might be rooted in something genuine deep down.
Jungkook likes to think that physically, he doesnât look so bad. Heâs nice when he wants to be, especially towards people he cares about. Heâs a resident surgeon who makes enough. Could be funny, charming⌠whatever.
Most of all, he likes to think he could deserve you one of these days. That he could be the man that youâre searching for.
But itâs been eight years and youâve never once looked at him like how he surely does at you.
God knows how many times Jungkook has tried to move on â how many sleepless nights he has trying to erase the feeling of so much longing for you. Sometimes, it works, when heâs on his casual dates and hook-up with all those women that thankfully fancied him enough. He momentarily forgets about your laugh and your hair and the crinkles on the sides of your eyes when you smile and your soft hands and your gentle voice â but it cracks when the sex is done and heâs staring at the blank ceiling of his dateâs apartment, hating himself for yet again seeing your picture in his memory when heâs buried in somebody else, wishing it was you instead.
It hurts so badly. Especially when you seem to look at everybody else except him. You wanted to weed out someone for you â meanwhile, heâs just right under your nose, and yet you donât see him. Itâs at this point, when you have Mingyu as your boyfriend now, that Jungkook is starting to realize that you donât see him not because you canât, but because you choose not to.
Regardless, he knows you love him. Knows you care about him on a deeper level. Would probably sacrifice a bit of your time to tend to him if he needs it. But itâs the kind of love thatâs not comparable to the one he has for you. Jungkookâs feelings encompass every single kind of love a human could have for another being â but you only have one kind for him. The platonic kind.
And even though itâs painful to face the reality of that very idea, Jungkook thinks that maybe⌠just maybe⌠Mingyuâs actually it.
Mingyu wasnât exactly a saint the last time Jungkook saw him, but people change and the way you seem so genuinely happy these days tells Jungkook that maybe Mingyuâs another version of himself now â the better one who will never hurt you or make you cry.
Maybe this is what loveâs all about. Youâre content with seeing them happy, even if itâs not with you.
Jungkook thinks that as he steals a glance at you looking at your phone â most probably playing that landlord game on your phone youâve been obsessed with the past few weeks â and youâre so beautiful like this. Even when youâre probably running on limited hours of sleep just like him.
Your hair is put up in that tulip hairclip you have a lot of, stray hairs framing some parts of your face. But he sees your features just fine â notes the way they are structured so perfectly it truly awes him that men and women didnât beg for your attention whenever you went out in public.
Because he would. He did. He does. He always teases you for the purpose of your reaction⌠because Jungkook likes it when you pay attention to him. So much that it kills him to think that maybe, that attention will die soon as you and Mingyu get closer as another week passes by.
The timer that goes off on your phone snaps Jungkook out of his thoughts, and you look at him with widened eyes.
âDonât stââ
âItâs my turn now,â Jungkook cuts you off and gently places your legs on the mattress, bringing his own on the soft surface as well.
You jut your bottom lip out â and Jungkook feels himself wanting to give in.
âFive minutes is so quick.â You say, but nonetheless takes his shin to your lap.
Jungkook tries hard to sway the butterflies in his stomach at your touch.
âFavor for a favor, remember?â He teases, lifting one of his foot to your direction.
You pretend to gag. âI hate you.â
Jungkook laughs, quite boisterously. Because he knows you donât mean it. I hate you basically just means I love you but youâre annoying me right now in your own little dictionary â and he always gets giddy whenever you tell him that â as weird as it may sound.
But Jungkook likes this, though.
Sure, it would be so fucking great if he could just confess and lay out his cards all at once, but the chances of you not taking it well is too big â and even though Jungkookâs usually a risk taker, he couldnât ever risk you all over his dead body.
He can keep his hurt to himself over you feeling anything but romantic towards him â because if he confesses and you donât feel the same way, he knows damn well that heâll lose you completely.
And the thought makes him shudder.
That probably catches your sight, so you ask him about it.
Jungkook tells you itâs the AC.
[ DAY 1 | August 31st, 11:04am ]
The beating sun feels uncomfortable on Jungkookâs skin, but thereâs no way heâs wasting a day like this holed up in the villa he and his friends chipped in to rent. It costed you all a shit ton of money â might as well enjoy every waking day he gets to spend here.
Itâs why he decides to goad Taehyung and Nayeon into coming with him along the shore where sun loungers are lined up to accommodate the few visitors who were also at the resort. He tried to convince Doyeon, but she goes straight to sleep as soon as the rooms were assigned.
He gets it â you all did travel by plane instead of car (because that would've taken you twelve hours) and Doyeon gets airsick whenever she rides in a plane. Jungkook also tried to talk you into it, but you said you were just going to lounge about by the pool at the villa and follow after a while.
Your âafter awhileâ takes about thirty minutes, and Jungkook thinks youâre missing all the fun, especially when Nayeon and Taehyung are starting to strip off their clothes to submerge themselves in the ocean.
With his loaded watergun, he goes straight back to the villa, and it doesnât take much time to spot you by the terrace, lying down on a sun lounger with your big hat and sunglasses on, a book opened in your hands.
Unsuspecting, you let out a sudden squeal when Jungkook presses the trigger of the toy in his grip, a spring of water meeting your bare legs. Jungkook obviously tries hard to ignore that youâre wearing a flimsy pair of white bikinis. He saw you pack it two days ago⌠and he remembers taking too long to move on from the image heâs conjured up in his head upon seeing it.
âJungkook!â
He chuckles at your reaction, poorly hiding the watergun behind him. âWhat?â
âIâll kill you.â You seethe, your body coming forward to sit upright, hastily taking your sunnies off so he can see the cute glare on your face.
âWhat are you going to do? I have this,â He points to his weapon. âAre you challenging me into a hand-to-hand combat?â Jungkook teases, wiggling his eyebrow.
You groan. Then, you lay back on the lounger again, opening your book, deciding to ignore him.
Jungkook canât have that, of course. So, he walks closer to your direction, stopping beside you, effectively blocking the sun and in turn, dimming the light source of your book.
âYouâre blocking my sun.â You say, looking up at him.
âYouâll get all the sun you want if you haul your ass off to the shore. Come on, weâre all swimming in there,â he tries to convince you, nudging your thigh with his knee.
You give him a pout. You sound whiny when you say, âBut itâs too hot.â
âThatâs why weâll get in the water.â
âDonât be sassy.â You roll your eyes. âI meant the water would be way too hot.â
âItâs not, Nayeon said so.â
You glance at the pool across from you. âWhy canât we all just swim in here?â
Jungkook deadpans. âBecause this is a five-foot pool and absolutely no one will enjoy it.â
You frown at him, quietly telling Jungkook heâs right.
âUgh,â you groan. âBut Iâll have to reapply SPF firstâŚâ You grab the bottle of lotion thatâs just placed on the small table on the side of the lounger. Then you look at him with squinted eyes, âDid you wear sunscreen?â
Jungkook rolls his eyes but nonetheless says yes, knowing how you always nag him about it whenever you guys are at the beach. Itâs not even just him. Itâs also with your other friends.
He watches as you rub lotion over your body, but when you get to the back, you look up at him and extend the bottle towards his way.
âCan you help me with this, please?â You say.
Jungkook automatically takes the bottle but it takes him a full five seconds to understand what youâre getting at.
Youâre asking him to put sunscreen on your back. Youâre very naked back that sports nothing but the tiny strings of your bikini holding your chest.
Of course, you donât notice his dilemma. Twisting in your seat so that your back faces him, you gather your hair to the side, obviously waiting for him to do your request.
But Jungkookâs distracted behind your back. Heâs distracted at how smooth it looks under the scorching sun and how easy it would be to paint it with something other than the natural color of your skin.
Itâs not even the first time heâll do this â youâve been to trips before and putting on sunscreen over your friend is about as natural as it gets like how he would do it as well to Taehyung or even Doyeon or Nayeon if they ask to.
But it doesnât mean it doesnât affect him one bit when it comes to you.
Needless to say, his mind is pre-occupied as he sits down behind you where you left some space for him to sit, squirting the lotion into the palms of his hands, gingerly spreading it over your back once he got it.
âBe sure to cover everything,â you say, obviously not aware about Jungkookâs mental crisis behind your back.
He thinks itâs worth the crisis over though, as youâre so soft under his touch. Jungkook kneads the span of your back, squeezes your waist lightly to even out the cream, and makes sure to put it over your shoulders as well. When his hands fall, he hesitates.
âShould I â uhââ
âYeah, just go under the strings.â You tell him before he can even finish.
Thereâs a lump in his throat that he swallows before he goes under the strings of your bikini top, his heart doing funny somersaults against his ribcage as he spreads the lotion over your skin. It guilts him to no end that his mind thinks about how heâs just inches away from your breasts.
He retreats his hand right away. âDone.â
You turn back to him. âThanks. You want me to do yours?â
âSure.â
Jungkook sits on the edge of the lounger and lets his back turn to you. He hears the cap of the lotion bottle being opened again and soon your hands are lathering the cream over the expanse of his back.
Itâs embarrassing the way he lets himself savor the seconds of your every touch. Embarrassing the way his mind zeroes in on the way your soft hands caress the tendons of his back muscles. He thinks about the weight, how good this feels; your hands on him. Suddenly, thereâs a zap of electricity that goes through his spine, and then he feels it.
The twitch in his dick and the blood that he feels rushing to it.
âOkay, youâre done.â You say, tapping his back twice so he can turn to you.
It snaps him out of his thoughts, but his dick is thinking about something else and as he subtly looks down, thereâs already a growing semi on the crotch of his trunk shorts.
Jungkook curses himself internally, shutting his eyes close in slight frustration.
Fucking uncooperative dick.
He stands up from the chair when you nudge his back with your foot, thinking that heâd see you coming along in a few seconds. But you donât, and as he turns his heel to look at you, youâre back in your cozy lying position on the lounger, with your book opened, just like how he saw you when he came in a while ago.
Jungkook parts his lips in disbelief, but also finding the whole thing funny.
âYou minx.â He muses, playfully squinting his eyes at you upon realizing the trick you just pulled.
âEnjoy the beach, Jungkook. Send my regards to Taehyung and Nayeon.â You say, giving him a taunting flying kiss. âAnd thank you for reapplying my sunscreen.â
Jungkook chuckles at your remark, and just like that, he forgets about his stubborn dick, and goes over back to you, blocking your sun once again.
âYouâre blocking my sun againâ Jungkook!â
Itâs predictable the way you hurl a series of creative curses at him as Jungkook forcefully picks you up from the chair, knocking your hat and your book on the ground as he hoists you against his shoulder, carrying you upside down like a sack of potatoes.
âJungkook, I swear to god!â You squeal, repeatedly slapping his back as he walks to the direction of the shore, but Jungkookâs nothing but a solid muscle, firm over his hold on the back of your legs.
âBe quiet.â He says, chuckling at your sounds of opposition.
âI hate you, youâre such a prick, ugh!â
He picks up his walking pace and you scream again when you see the ocean water from your view.
Jungkook chuckles as you continue to plant your fists on his back, and when the water reaches his knees, he throws you in it.
âFuck. You!â You say, glaring at Jungkook in the middle of his uncontrollable laughter.
âCome on, Taehyung and Nayeon are over there,â he points to the deeper part of the ocean a few feet from where you are, and when you turn your head, you see Taehyung and Nayeon with their floaties.
âUghâŚâ Jungkook hears you groan before you follow behind him. When Jungkook looks back, he sees you paddling around the water like some puppy, and he snickers to himself. That earns him a splash on his way, with you rolling your eyes at him.
âJungkook! __!â Yells Nayeon over their direction, waving her hand around. Taehyung and her are perched on the big floatie they fought over with at the villa earlier.
âJungkook,â calls you behind him.
Youâre starting to cross the deeper part of the ocean and itâs within Jungkookâs chest now. Meanwhile, your friends are still about a few feet away, so the level would definitely be on his neck by the time. Youâre considerably tall, but Jungkookâs still half a head taller than you, so when he looks back at you, the waterâs already reached your shoulders.
âThis is way too deep!â You complain.
âDonât be a pussy, __!â Comments Taehyung from afar.
âFuck off,â you murmur and then beckons Jungkook to you. âHelp me a bit here.â
Jungkook shakes his head, chuckling as he moves a few steps back to get to your direction.
âYou big baby, you never learned how to swim, have you?â He teases, playfully clicking his tongue.
âWhat for?â You say when he gets near.
Jungkook feels pleased with himself about you asking for his help to cross the deeper part of the ocean, but heâs met with surprise when you heavily plant your palms on his shoulders, causing him to be out of balance and tripping over his feet under the water.
It causes a misstep and he nearly chokes as he comes back up for air again only to see you laughing your ass off. Nayeon and Taehyung are also laughing along, even from afar, and Jungkook wipes the back of his hand over his eyes to see clearly.
âThatâs for throwing me in the water earlier,â you say in between your snickers and Jungkookâs just about to say something back when you suddenly wrap your hands around his neck from the back, your legs locking around his waist. âCarry me to the floatie, pretty please,â you say against his cheek in a sing-song voice.
With that, Jungkook feels your whole entire body against his back, your breasts pressing against his skin. He ignores the way the physical contact makes his body tingle, and he hopes you donât notice his blush when he raises his arms to hold the back of your legs.
âOnly because youâre annoying.â He pretends to sound annoyed, but the laugh that comes out of you at the remark makes him smile anyway.
[ DAY 1 | August 31st, 11:35pm ]
Your daytime activities at the beach included jetskiing â one that knocked Taehyung off the water way too many times that he just gave up halfway through it. When Doyeon woke up a little later in the afternoon, all of you decided to get food from the dining hall and ate your hearts out at the buffet.
The day ended with all of you back in your assigned rooms again. Since you rented a two-bedroom villa, Jungkookâs rooming with Taehyung in the secondary bedroom while Nayeon, Doyeon, and you are all inside the primary one since itâs bigger.
Itâs past thirty minutes to eleven in the night when somebody knocks on Jungkookâs shared bedroom with Taehyung. When Jungkook looks at him from across the room, heâs knocked out on the sofa, soft snores coming out from his mouth. Him and Jungkook decided to take turns with the bed itself throughout the whole vacation. Thereâs an extra cushion Taehyung couldâve laid on the floor, but he was way too tired to set it up and to even care â looks like he doesnât really need it, though, since he looks so peaceful in his position.
Grumbling, Jungkook gets out from the sheets, scratching his bare chest and rubbing the back of his head as he walks over to the door to open it.
When he does, heâs welcomed by the sight of you in your big grey hoodie and some shorts.
âWear something.â You say as soon as you take in his appearance.
Jungkookâs habit of going to sleep with only his boxers knows no bounds. Even when itâs below 20 degrees Celsius outside, he always opts out of his pajamas, choosing to go bare in his sheets instead. In his defense for now, the duvet is thick and it provided him with enough protection against the cold of the AC and the summer night.
âWhat are you doing here?â He says as he trudges back inside the room to wear a pair of sweatpants hanging from the chair.
âRude.â You comment, following him in the room. You look at Taehyungâs passed out state in the couch. âHeâs going to wake up in the evening tomorrow and miss your birthday.â
That makes Jungkook smirk, remembering Taehyungâs high energy in the morning.
âNo consequences. Itâs vacation week.â Jungkook raises his eyebrows. âSeriously, what brought you here? Itâs almost midnight.â
You sit on the edge of the bed. Thatâs when Jungkook notices the black plastic youâre carrying in your hand. âItâs not that late. Letâs head out for a bit.â
He raises a brow, confused. âWhere to?â
âYouâre going to find out. Wear a jacket, itâs a bit cold outside.â You say as you stand up from the bed again, heading for the door.
Jungkookâs confusion just grows with passing seconds. Nonetheless, he canât say heâs not intrigued.
Unsure, he goes for his small luggage and takes out the only hoodie he packed. Itâs grey as well, matching the one you have on. Jungkook tries to shake that thought off his head as you both quietly head out of the room.
Itâs late into the night and when you head out of the villa, thereâs not many people hanging along the shore anymore.
âFollow me,â you tell him, and Jungkook does.
It may have been his drowsiness that kept him quiet throughout the whole walk â just quietly following along with you, your rented villa no longer in his line of sight. Jungkook couldnât exactly pinpoint where you currently are, but this side of the beach is a bit rocky, and much, much colder. He feels it even through the thick material of his hoodie.
âWeâre here.â You announce, a proud lilt to your voice. Jungkook bumps with your back when you suddenly stop on your tracks. It prompts a chuckle from you, turning back to him so Jungkook sees the crinkles on the sides of your eyes as you do so.
It makes his lips curl. âWhatâs this?â He curiously asks, looking around.
Your grin grows wider. âWeâre gonna take those stairs and itâs gonna lead us to some pretty view.â Jungkook looks to the direction you pointed at, seeing the stairs you just referred to. Still unsure, he glances back at you. You laugh. âYou remember when Doyeon and I went out for a walk earlier for a bit? We found this place.â
Jungkook nods. âI see. Thought for a second there you found a place to dispose my body at.â
You snort as you take Jungkookâs wrist to hold on to as you climb to the stairs.
âI wonât do it as such a public place.â
âSo, you really are thinking about it in the first place.â Jungkook nods his head, guiding your back up the jagged stairs. You manage to get to the smoother surface and Jungkookâs quick to follow you towards the straight path of the narrow walkway.
âItâs my favorite past time, really.â You look back at him cheekily, a playful grin painting your lips. Jungkook scoffs.
The hallway is colonnaded with some flags, and thereâs an edge where the concrete stops, the ocean water splashing against the big rocks beneath the broken bridge.
You set aside the black plastic youâve been carrying around and Jungkook realizes theyâre Smirnoffs. Sitting on the concrete, you let your feet hang on the edge.
âHey, be careful,â Jungkook comments as he sees you do that. This part of the ocean isnât necessarily far â where you were earlier when you were swimming was far deeper, but still, it could be dangerous if you make a mistake. Jungkook wonders what the designers of the beach thought about when they made this plan.
âCome on, donât be fussy. Sit here with me.â You say, patting the space beside you.
Jungkook follows, of course, and you scoot to the side a little to give him more room.
âItâs nice, right,â You look at him, cocking your head to the side.
Jungkook feels the breeze of cool wind passing, and itâs a bit strong that it moves his fringes and yours as well. You put your hair up as usual in that big metal clip you always wear, but some strands of your hair escape and they frame your face.
With your big hoodie on and smile, Jungkook thinks you look extra cozy. He may have been hot and bothered by your bikini ensemble earlier, but now heâs bothered for another reason. He canât stop thinking about cuddling you under the night sky full of stars at the very moment.
âFeels good.â Jungkook comments. He plants his palms on the hard surface of the concrete behind him, leaning back as he looks to your side. âYou wanted to drink here?â
âOh, yeah,â You say, twisting your body a little to pick up the plastic cellophane. You take out two bottles of Smirnoffs and offer one to him which he gladly takes. Taking a bottle opener out, youâre about to open your drinks when Jungkook offers to do it for the both of you. You donât protest, just let him do his thing, smiling when he hands you your Smirnoff.
âThis is really nice.â Jungkook sighs after he takes the first sip, looking straight ahead to the mountainous view in front of you.
You hum, seemingly enjoying the moment as well. Jungkook takes a quick glance at your side profile and then quickly looks back ahead when he feels you do the same.
âWhyâd you bring me here?â He asks.
âNothing. I couldnât sleep, and I thought I could bring you here. So.â You shrug.
Jungkook nods.
âIâm turning thirty-one tomorrow. Or, in an hour, actually.â He says, automatically looking at his wrist but then realizing he took off his watch and left it at the bedside table. He didnât take his phone with him either.
âI know. Youâre so old now.â You tell him with a teasing tone in your words.
âFuck off,â he snorts. âIâm only a year older than you.â
âHmm⌠still old. Imagine, you turn fifty, I would still be forty-nine.â
Jungkook laughs at that.
âWhatever makes you sleep at night, babe.â He lets the pet name slip, and he did not mean to. It just rolled off his tongue for some reason. Quite easily, too.
You donât seem to care â or even notice â as you chuckle.
Thereâs a comfortable silence that hangs in the air again when Jungkook decides to break it.
âHey, I really appreciate you for coming along. You and the gang, really. This is a really good trip so far.â
You give him a smile as you look at him. Itâs one of those pretty ones that are a bit small but thereâs a certain shine to your eyes and Jungkook just really loves looking at you with a smile on your face. Youâre so pretty, he thinks heâs so lucky to even get the chance to look at you.
âYou know we all need this trip, right? I think itâs all our first time vacationing in two years.â
He nods, chuckling to himself. Itâs true. The last time was the Thailand trip and it felt like eons ago. Being a resident surgeon means less free time for leisure â and so you always make sure to spend your days off wisely. Even this trip took a lot of pre-planning to be possible just so all of your schedules would match.
âItâs crazy, thoughâŚâ you say suddenly.
Jungkook cocks a brow at you. âWhatâs crazy?â
âThat weâve known each other for like â what? Eight years?â
Eight years and four months to be exact. Jungkookâs not keeping count â he just will never forget the exact moment he met you for the very first time.
Itâs truly one of his core memories â knowing you. He remembers having to pass by the law library to meet Jimin â one of his closest friends who was studying law at the same grad school as him at the time. They were planning to eat out for lunch, but then he saw a woman at the individual study areas with a reading material thatâs familiar with his. Netterâs Atlas of Human Anatomy. You wore that maroon hairclip you loved so much during first year (Jungkook remembers you losing it in the second semester and how he bought you another one in your birthday), and when you looked up from your book for awhile, taking a break from taking notes on your iPad, that was when Jungkook saw your face and he nearly falls over back then.
Itâs common knowledge among your mutual friends and acquaintances that youâre pretty. Itâs the first thing that Jungkook noticed about you, the reason why he harbored an instant crush. That pretty much turned into⌠well â something deeper as the years passed by and he got to know you more than just your beautiful physical appearance.
He found it strange at the time to find somebody who was obviously a med student studying at the law library, but he soon found out it was because you didnât like studying at the med lib, said you felt too much pressure being among your fellow med students. Jungkook understood that in a spiritual level, and so when you became friends, you studied a lot at the law lib, until you met Doyeon and she formed a study group. It wasnât long before Taehyung joined the equation.
Looking back at it, Jungkook thinks itâs surreal. How knowing you led to him knowing more people that would soon be important in his life up until the age of thirty-one.
âAlmost a decade.â He says, canât help but smile at the thought.
âRight? It feels so surreal sometimes that we all knew each other at, like, twenty-three and twenty two. And now weâre in our thirties.â
âWhen you put it like thatâŚâ Jungkook trails off, laughing at how young you actually were eight years ago.
âYeah, I know!â You giggle. You look ahead, then you laugh again to yourself. Jungkook looks at you in confusion, giving you a questioning look at your sudden burst of laughter. Looking at him, you shake your head, âThis is a bit of a TMI, but I was twenty-two when I entered med school, so I just lost my virginity three years ago. You know whatâs funny? Iâve always thought I would lose my virginity, at like, thirty. Or twenty-seven. But that was even way too early for me.â
Jungkook almost splutters at the way you casually bring it up. He takes the bottle of Smirnoff away from him and looks at you with a chuckle. âLosing your virginity at nineteen is common.â
âWell, did you? Lose yours at nineteen?â You arch a brow.
âNope.â Jungkook shakes his head, tipping his head back to drink again.
âYounger?â You ask again.
Jungkook chuckles at your curiosity. Much to your surprise, he shakes his head again. âNah. Junior year. I just turned twenty-one. Lost it with my first girlfriend.â
Your lips part and Jungkook meets your shocked stare, brow cocked upwards.
âYouâre fucking with me.â
âWhat? No, Iâm not.â He laughs. He gets your surprise, though. Taehyung couldnât believe it either when it came up in a random conversation.
You still look incredulous as you say, âYou mean, like you never dated until junior year of undergrad?â
Jungkook shakes his head once again. âYes, and noâŚ? I mean, I had a⌠sort of girlfriend? Back in highschool, yeah, but it was more of like a mutual crush thing rather than an official relationship. But yeah, never dated and never had sex âtil I found my first girlfriend in third year.â
You look at him suspiciously still, and Jungkook canât help but laugh even more at your reaction.
âI really donât believe you.â
âWhatâs so surprising about that?â Jungkook knows the answer, though. He sleeps around, and you know that. Itâs probably why you canât believe heâs only started having sex until third year of college.
Youâre quiet for a bit.
âSo⌠you and that girlfriend broke up, and thenâŚâ you trail off, letting him finish the pieces.
Jungkook chuckles, recalling some memories that he thought were already hidden well at the back of his head.
Jiyeon. Her name was Park Jiyeon, his first girlfriend. He was the one who ended things â and not because he didnât have feelings for her. It was the other way around.
âYeah,â Jungkook fills in. âDidnât date seriously after that.â
âUh⌠was it a bad break-up?â You say, and thereâs hesitance in your voice. When Jungkook looks at you, you open your mouth to take your question back, probably, but Jungkook just gives you a warm smile.
âYeah. It was bad. But I donât really think about it now.â
You nod. âI see.â You say, looking ahead at the ocean again. âYou dated⌠quite seriously again in our last year of med school, though.â
âSora?â
âYeah.â
Jungkook nods, remembering the only one-year relationship he had. Min Sora was a fashion magazine director at the time. Jungkook liked her as she did, but they had too many differences that lead to too many arguments. Sora ended things before the relationship dragged out. Jungkook was grateful for it. Theyâre casual as of now⌠good friends, maybe?
âI always wondered why she broke up with you.â You say quietly.
Jungkook doesnât expect that. âYou wondered about that?â
âYeah. I mean, you seemed like you were both really into each other, so I just thought⌠you know,â you shrug.
âAh. That,â Jungkook looks afar, recalling the day when she ended things with him. It had been because of the stress that the last year of med school brought â he likes to think that. But it was also during the time when Eunwoo proposed to you and what he thought was feelings forgotten for you came back resurfacing and Sora just⌠figured him out. She told him he loved you, and sheâs got no spare time to compete with that. Denying it at the time was futile â Sora was smart. A wise, independent woman. She ended the relationship herself before she got deeply hurt. Jungkook has always felt sorry about how things turned out. No, he doesnât regret the break-up â just regrets the way he hurt her â unintentionally â even though she didnât show it. âJust didnât work out, I guess.â
You nod again.
Silence sits in the air.
It feels a little strange to talk about these things now. Itâs not that you both never share these aspects about your lives to each other, but itâs the first time you ask him about Sora. He never really bothered to share, though, for the record.
From his periphery, he sees you taking your phone out from your pocket, then gasping.
Jungkook immediately looks at you to see whatâs wrong. You show him your phone and he notes nothing of significance first before you say, âItâs 12:01 am. Itâs September first!â
âOh.â
âHappy birthday, Kook.â You say, smiling at him, and itâs an underestimation for Jungkook to say he nearly gets blinded by it. You look so gorgeous in your happy smile, so genuine, so warm, so cozy in your big grey hoodie.
Jungkook wants so bad to plant his lips on yours right then and there, but he reminds himself that he canât do that. He reminds himself that youâre taken. That you like somebody else. The somebody else arriving tomorrow, as per your words earlier this day when he asked about Mingyu.
Still, it doesnât stop Jungkook from mirroring your smile.
âThank you.â
âAnd, before I forget,â you stuff your hands in the pocket of your hoodie and Jungkook watches as you take out a small rectangular box. As he pays you a glance, youâre a little bit shy, not looking straight into his eyes as you say, âUh. I saw this somewhere, and I thought youâd like it.â
You extend your hand to him and Jungkook lets go of his beer to take the velvety green box from you.
He feels jittery as he takes it in, caresses the ribbon first before opening it altogether.
Whatâs inside surprises him.
âIt didnât cost much so donât throw it away,â you say, uncharacteristically defensive. Jungkook canât see your expression, but he bets your thoughts are going haywire as it takes him awhile to say anything about your gift. You always get nervous when it comes to gifts. â... and anyway, itâs not even my real gift. My real gift is a hairdryer, so Iâm sure youâre gonna like that better. But itâs cute, right? You can hang it in your keyholder or somethingââ
â__,â Jungkook cuts you off, his eyes still on the keyring laying on the box. âYouâre giving this to me?â
âY-yeah. Itâs⌠uh⌠cute, right? I thought it was cute.â You say, and when Jungkook looks at you, he sees the adorable way your brows furrow.
He chuckles, looking at the keyring again. Itâs a silver Claddagh.
âDo you know what this means?â Jungkook asks.
âThe what?â
Jungkook points to the Claddagh. âThis symbol.â
You look away as you say, âNo, not really. I just thought itâs a cool keychain. You told me you like keychains, but I donât ever see you with a keychain. So.â
With your nostrils flaring a little, he knows youâre lying. You definitely know what the Claddagh symbol means.
But instead of goading you about it, Jungkook takes the keyring out of the box and hangs it over his finger, admiring the item.
âThank you. This is really cute, and I love it.â Jungkook tells you, giving you a soft smile.
You stare at him and then cave into a smile of your own. âIâm glad you do.â
Jungkook looks at the Claddagh again and smiles heartily.
His heart aches with so much yearning and longing when you go back to the villa that night, spending about three minutes staring at the Claddagh you gifted him that he immediately hangs in his key holder. Jungkook thinks heâs going to transfer it to his work bag or the back of his rearview mirror, but his keyholder would do for now.
You love him alright, certainly not the way he does, but itâs enough for him.
[ DAY 2 | September 1st, 11:55pm ]
It was not a secret among Nayeon, Doyeon, and Taehyung that Jungkookâs mood considerably plummeted down as soon as Mingyu called you early in the morning that heâd be landing in the afternoon.
Afternoon came, and he tried to suck it up like a grown man â and because as far as you know, theyâre both friends. And Mingyuâs your boyfriend. He should be nothing but supportive.
But it was especially hard when you gushed about being excited that he was finally here. Itâs been four months since you started seeing each other, two months since you officially dated, but somehow, Jungkook still could not process it.
He knows heâs being unfair. To you and to himself. But he couldnât help it. He couldnât help the feeling of ugly bitterness that sat in his heart as you told him about how Mingyu rented another villa so you both could room together, effectively taking you away from the rest of your friends.
Of course, you all spent his birthday together â doing tons of water activities in the ocean, eating at the dining hall, and roaming around for some more leisure time, but Jungkook could not help but think that ever since Mingyuâs arrived, youâve been sticking with him, even taking the time away from the gang to show your boyfriend around the resort.
Even at the villaâs porch where all of you took out your foldable chairs to drink outside, you were with Mingyu, perched on his lap, laughing at the jokes getting thrown around in the circle.
He tried not to look too much at how Mingyu comfortably wrapped one arm around your waist while the other held a drink, how you leaned into his touch, and how easily he blended with the group with his charm.
âWhereâd you get the ice cream?â Doyeon asked as Taehyung sat down on his chair with a small bowl of the sweet treat.
âFridge. Nayeon and I bought it earlier.â
âThereâs ice cream?â Mingyu asked, in which Taehyung nodded to. He turned to you. âDo you want it?â
Jungkookâs brows furrowed in confusion. â__âs lactose intolerant.â He noticed everybody suddenly looking at him. Feeling cornered, he drank from his beer to avoid their gazes.
Mingyu, obviously surprised by the declaration, glanced back at you. âBaby, you didnât tell me that?â
You winced. âItâs not really a big deal.â you waved him off and when you laugh.
âYeah, sheâs stubborn about it. She can inhale five cones in one sitting.â Taehyung said which made everybody laugh. Jungkook knew it was to lighten the mood. So, he laughed as well, even though from his periphery, he could see you giving him daggers through your eyes.
Jungkook doesnât know why you had to pretend it wasnât a big deal. Sure, Taehyungâs right about you not taking your lactose intolerance seriously sometimes, but youâve also gotten into a lot of trouble because of it, hence why youâve been making conscious efforts to not eat dairy.
The whole day leaves a sour impression on him with Mingyu around. Quite a shame, really, since he started his birthday so well with you taking him to the far-end of the beach to drink and give him a Claddagh.
When the night becomes much darker, Jungkook sits on the terrace near the pool all by himself. Everybodyâs fast asleep at this point. He doesnât know about you, though, âcause youâve probably transferred all your stuff to the other villa Mingyu rented around.
âHey,â
Jungkook looks at the embodied voice that suddenly calls. He sees itâs Doyeon.
âHey,â Jungkook smiles, taking the other bottle of beer on the coffee table and offering it to her.
She waves his hand. âNah, Iâve had enough for the whole day.â Doyeon situates herself on the folding chair next to Jungkook.
Jungkook nods, looking straight ahead to the pool. They sit in comfortable silence for a while until Doyeon speaks.
âHey, Iâm sorry for the last week,â
Jungkook glances at her with a small smile. âWhat for?â
âFor calling you a pussy. And just⌠being harsh. Had a tough week and your emotional constipation just pissed me off more. Youâre still a pussy, but I shouldnât have rubbed it off your face.â She says.
Jungkook stares at her with parted lips.
âWow. I donât know if thatâs an actual apology.â
âItâs an apology with a hundred percent realness, you know I donât baby anybody.â
âHah,â Jungkook scoffs, amused. âYeah. Well, youâre right, though. Todayâs beenâŚâ
Doyeon sighs. âItâs hard on you, right?â
Jungkook can only give her a meaningful smile.
âBut you donât exactly have the right to get jealous⌠sheâs not your girlfriend and you two are not anything,â Doyeon says, and it tugs at Jungkookâs heartstrings. Meanwhile, she looks ahead and continues to speak. âItâs hard when you have all these feelings for someone, but you have to hide it. You just want to show everybody they mean so much to you, but you canât. It sucks.â
Jungkook thinks sheâs still talking about his situation with you but then as he glances at her, she seems to be deep in thought. As if sheâs actually speaking from her own experience.
Heâs intrigued by that, of course.
âWoah, are you still talking about me?â
That seems to get Doyeon out of her trance.
She rolls his eyes. âWho else would I be talking about?â
Jungkook opens his mouth to say something. You guys have always had the theory that Doyeon has a secret boyfriend. Itâs silly at best but sometimes, he thinks itâs true. Doyeon has never been the type to wear her heart on her sleeve, though. Sheâs tough and sheâs frank a lot of times. But sheâs the kind of friend whoâd call you a bitch in your face but then would go to all the lengths to defend you from everybody.
âOkay.â Jungkook nods, dropping the subject.
âHas she told you yet?â Doyeon asks suddenly.
âWhat?â He mirrors back, knowing exactly who the she Doyeonâs referring to.
âSheâs planning to move in with him some of these days.â
âIâŚâ Jungkook stops, his mouth opening and closing like a fish in water. To say that heâs stunned is an understatement. Obviously, you havenât told him anything.
âYou donât know.â Doyeon says upon realization.
Jungkook shakes his head. âShe didnât tell me.â
Doyeon lets out a loud sigh. âItâs not really set in stone, though, thatâs what she said. But theyâre discussing it.â
âAh.â Jungkook nods and looks ahead at the pool. Another beat of silence, a sip of beer, and then he scoffs. âI really shouldâve confessed even way back then, huh?â He laughs but thereâs no humor in it.
Doyeon stares at him. âI didnât tell you about that so you can regret not telling your feelings for her earlier.â
âI didnâtââ
âI told you that so you can move on, Jungkook.â
Jungkook closes his mouth shut.
She looks away. âYou remember the time I liked you in med school?â
âDoyeonâŚâ Jungkookâs lips part, not at all expecting for her to bring that up. Itâs been so long ago and ever since⌠Doyeonâs confession, they never really talked about it again.
âOh my god, look at your face,â She laughs. âGod, do you think I still like you? I moved on the day after you rejected me.â
âI didnât reject you.â Jungkook defensively says.
She rolls her eyes. âI asked you if you were interested and you didnât say anything. You just looked at me like this,â Doyeon stiffens her body and widens her eyes in a comical rendition of Jungkookâs famous OJO face.
Jungkook canât help but scoff. âThat was the strangest confession that happened to me, though. You told me you liked me in the straightest face ever, I still think it was a cruel prank of some sort.â
Doyeon bursts into laughter, and Jungkook follows along, recalling that time.
âYeah⌠that was funny. But⌠it was real, not a prank at all. I donât remember why I liked you, though.â
Jungkook looks at her incredulously. âOkay, but thatâs actually the most hurtful thing youâve ever said to me.â
âDonât take it personally,â Doyeon rolls her eyes, but thereâs a smile on her lips still. âAnyway, I brought it up because that was the same day when I realized you like __. I mean, I had my suspicions, but I confirmed it around the time.â
Jungkook shakes his head. âWas really surprised when you told me that. I thought I hid it pretty well.â
âYeah, but not to me. You know, I donât even know how __ didnât figure it out herself. Youâd always follow her around and in our study sessions, you always stayed up late with her and was overly attentive. Whenever Taehyung asked you too much, you sort of like reached a point where you just told him to suck it up. But if it was __, you were so patient,â Doyeon giggles. âShe had a really hard time with Biochem. I remember you tutoring her all the time.â
âThat wasâŚâ Jungkook bows his head down, a bit embarrassed at being read like that. âShe cried a lot during first year.â
Doyeon purses her lips. âYeahâŚâ
Both stare ahead again, with nothing to say for a few more seconds. Jungkook continues to sip his bear while Doyeon quietly sits.
âI have this biased notion about Mingyu,â Doyeon speaks up. Jungkook looks at her she continues, âI keep on telling myself, heâs probably gonna fuck up anytime soon â and thatâs because deep inside, I still want you and __ together. You know Iâve always wanted you both to be together. Itâs hard to see __ struggling with her love life. She almost failed the internship when Eunwoo broke up with her, and I donât want her to go through that again as her friend. Itâs hard, because I canât do anything about it. I think of you, and how much you love her, and I think youâre good for her⌠but at the same time, I feel bad for thinking that. Because I can see that Mingyu makes her happy. Itâs different with the other guys she dated before him. Sheâs truly happy with him, and I find it hard to think that Mingyuâs gonna break her heart. He seems⌠nice⌠and that heâd be good for her, you know what I mean?â
Jungkookâs quiet, processing her words.
Doyeon sighs before she speaks again. âBut that hurts you in the process, doesnât it? Seeing her happy but not with you. Youâre both my friends and Iâm in the position where itâs hard for me to situate myself in a certain place. Because I want __ to be happy, but I also want you to be happy â but your happiness is interconnected and itâs⌠tricky. Itâs a tricky situation.â
Jungkook doesnât realize that heâs gripping the neck of the bottle quite tightly at Doyeonâs words, but he listens.
âI donât normally say things like this, Jungkook, but Iâm your friend so Iâm just gonna let this go,â Doyeon finally looks at him, and he meets her gaze. âIt hurts me to see you hurting like this. It hurts Taehyung and Nayeon as well, but they wonât say it. Just⌠just be⌠just be okay, please?â
Jungkook exhales a sharp, shaky breath.
He knows what Doyeon meant by that. Sheâs asking him to⌠find happiness on his own. Happiness that doesnât lie on __âs reciprocity because with the way things are going, thatâs impossible. Sheâs planning to move in with Mingyu, and most of all, she seems genuinely happy.
âI⌠I know. Thank you.��� Jungkook says, not really knowing what to say.
Doyeon chuckles. âDo you want a hug?â
He looks at her with a smile. âI could use one right now, yeah.â
Doyeon laughs before standing up and going over to where Jungkook sits on his own sun chair. When she steps in front of him, Jungkook wraps his arms around her waist and lets himself rest the side of his head on her stomach, closing his eyes when Doyeon pats the crown of his head.
âBelated happy birthday, Jungkook.â
Jungkook chuckles. âThanks. Youâre unusually mushy today.â
Doyeon pinches his ear slightly which earns her a groan.
The two stay like that for a few more seconds when suddenly, Jungkook hears a familiar voice.
âOh, h-hey guys,â
Jungkook immediately looks ahead to see you standing from the other side of the terrace, looking at him and Doyeon. At that, Doyeon lets go of him, twisting her body to look in your direction. Jungkook retreats his arms back to his side and smiles to acknowledge you.
âI thought you were sleeping already.â He says.
âYeah, what brought you here?â Doyeon asks.
You approach them with unusually slow steps, as if reluctant. âLeft my wallet here. Just realized it a while ago,â you say. After that, you stop on your tracks. Your gaze falls between them with an unsure smile on your face. âYou two drinking?â
âNah, Jungkook is.â Doyeon says, pointing to the bottle of Smirnoffs on the small table beside Jungkookâs chair. Then, she looks under her own. âWhereâd you leave your wallet?â
âOver my chair earlier.â You give her a smile again. But somehow, it looks a bit awkward. A little forced. Jungkook knows you well enough to identify your smiles.
And as he looks at you longer, he realizes you have a certain color on your face, but itâs one of those expressions he canât read.
âWell,â you blurt out after a beat of silence. Looking around, you go over to where you were sitting earlier then duck. âI think I left it hereâŚâ you trail off. Jungkookâs just about to stand up to help as well when you suddenly pull up a brown leather, grinning at both of them. âYay.â
Jungkook chuckles. âThat wouldâve been the third wallet youâll lose this year.â
You mirror his laughter, and Doyeon joins in.
Thereâs another pause and then hesitantly, you ask, âDid I⌠uh⌠disturb something? OrâŚâ
âWhat?â Doyeon asks with furrowed brows. âNo,â
âAh, okay,â you smile at her and then insert your wallet in your shorts. âAnyway, Iâm heading back to Mingyu. The villa he rented is just at the back of ours, so⌠feel free to visit anytime or whatever.â
âSure.â Jungkook says. He didnât mean it to sound clipped and short but he must have unintentionally let the tone slip, as you and Doyeon immediately give him a look. He clears his throat. âI mean, of course. Tomorrow?â
You nod.
You look at him. And then, you point between him and Nayeon. âAre you two staying up here late?â
âNah, Iâm heading to bed actually.â Doyeon says, picking up her phone from the sun lounger.
âYeah, me too.â Jungkook puts the beer to the coffee table and stands up.
You nod. âOkay, then. Well, good night to you two.â
âAlright, good night. Iâll head out first.â Doyeon says before disappearing into the sliding door that leads straight to the villaâs living room.
You soon turn your heels back to head out as well, but Jungkook calls after you. Turning around, you hum, acknowledging him. âHm?â
âGood night, stinky.â
You deadpan. âNight, fucker.â
Jungkook laughs, watching your retreating back as you leave.
[ DAY 4 | September 3rd , 3:05 am ]
Jungkook likes to work out when he has a lot in his mind. But sometimes, he opts for jogging or walking around to clear his head.
With the turn of events since Mingyuâs arrival and Doyeon informing him about your plans on furthering your relationship with Mingyu, he finds himself along by the shore at three am with high hopes to clear his mind. It doesnât give the solution, but it temporarily does the job.
Inserting his hands in the pockets of his hoodie, he looks ahead at the view of the ocean, trying so hard to shut his head down with overbearing thoughts of you. Itâs no use, though, itâs always filled with thoughts of you and you alone.
Jungkook thinks about the time in med school when he thought he was completely over you. It had been after you made it official with Eunwoo two months into seeing him. He thought it would be a âbigger personâ thing to do, moving on, that is, after you announced that you got a boyfriend â but then later on, when he slept with other women or had his casual dates, you suddenly popped up in his head randomly, and his heart suddenly ached when Eunwoo would drop by the university to fetch you. He felt ugly bitterness when you smiled too much whenever Eunwoo was brought up in the conversation. He found himself wishing it was him instead â the guy you thought of buying shirts for, the guy you randomly thought of when you saw something at the mall or the park, or the guy you called when you needed anything.
It was that spring break in second year when he realized that he loved you, after trying hard to brush his feelings off for you as a mere infatuation because you were gorgeous and smart.
He finds himself thinking about the time when he almost let out his heart when you had a fall-out with Eunwoo during your third year. Thinks about how pathetic he was for thinking that he finally had the chance. It had been when you called him at midnight, crying onto the phone as you asked him if he wasnât busy. Jungkook had been studying for a Clinical Skill Assessment at that time, but heâd have been a fool to make you feel lonely when you already seemed like you were not fine. So, he had set aside his studying that night and went right over to your place. You told him about how Eunwoo was going cold, how Eunwoo was getting too close to the senior architect at his firm which youâd been having huge arguments about during those days â Jungkook remembered feeling broken at the sight of you crying, could feel himself building up hatred for the guy who was fucking up his chance with the woman he did not deserve. He thought about how he would never do that to you, thought about how he could be better for you â the envy bubbling inside his heart too big to ignore.
Jungkook remembered thinking how he would never fuck up any chances with you, and how Eunwoo was a fucking idiot for even making you feel that way.
That night, he almost kissed you. And the day after that, you avoided him like the plague.
Doyeon told him he was just as much of a big fucking idiot as Eunwoo for doing that. And Jungkook remembered regretting that night, and swearing off to never, ever make a move on you ever again because your avoidance of him made him feel like the biggest fucking piece of shit to ever exist on Earth.
He remembers you didnât talk to him for about a month. And he remembers fearing that that was finally it. Â
Of course, you made up â youâre still in his life. You let him still be in your life even though he betrayed your trust. The trust that lies on the fact that he was your best friend. Someone who was not supposed to take advantage of your vulnerability, someone who did not suddenly try to kiss you when you were at your worst.
It was a memory you two werenât fond of. Heck, youâve never ever brought it up not even once since it happened. When you finally talked to him again after that, you did not let him apologize for what he did â just shut him down by saying that you two should just forget about it and never mention it again. You made it clear that you did not want to talk about it â not at all, not in a million years.
Again, Jungkook has had a million attempts to move on. Especially when you got back together with Eunwoo. He did temporarily, when Sora came into the picture. He genuinely did like her, even more than his first girlfriend in college, and he thought he could eventually love her the same way he does you, but Eunwoo suddenly proposed⌠and his defense came crumbling down. The fear of losing you once again was too overwhelming that he ruined the relationship with Sora because admittedly, he had always been pathetic like that.
Even now that youâre with Mingyu, heâs still pathetic. He still thinks that one day, you can finally look at him. Like, really look at him and feel anything but friendly towards him. Itâs extremely pathetic that he keeps on telling himself that your friendship will be enough, but then deep down, itâs not.
Jungkook shuts his eyes close when he feels the cool breeze of the wind hitting his skin under the hoodie. He lets himself stand there for a while, just trying to bask in the surroundings, ignoring the heavy feeling that sits in his heart.
But then he smells a sudden waft of smoke, and he knits his brows as he opens his eyes back again, turning to the direction of the smell.
When he turns back, he sees a familiar figure of a man.
âMingyu?â
Mingyu glances back at him with the same surprised look on his face, but it disappears just as quickly. Pinching the cigarette between his fingers, he blows smoke in the air and inserts one hand in his shorts.
âJeon.â
âStill Jeon to you, huh?â Jungkook sneers, walking over to where Mingyu is. âWhy are you here?â
Mingyu arches a brow. âI could ask you the same thing.â
âWoke up a few minutes ago and couldnât get back to sleep.â
Taking a hit of his cigarette again, Mingyu shakes his head. âThatâs tough.â
âSame with you?â Jungkook asks.
âNah. Had a discussion with my girlfriend. Just wanted to clear my head.â
Jungkook nods, not saying anything to that. Itâs weird that youâve been fighting a lot lately. He wonders if youâre okay.
Pulling out a pack of Marlboro and a lighter, Mingyu extends them to Jungkook.
He looks down at it and thinks about how this exact thing happened in college. Mingyu always had the pack of cigarettes and the link to the best weed man in college. He used to think they would be fond memories.
But Jungkook shakes his head, looking ahead.
âI quit years ago.â He says. And it is true. He wasnât much of a smoker and only did it occasionally when he was extremely stressed, but it took him awhile to stop the habit completely, only dropping the cigarettes during second year of med school. Jungkook would say it was due to his own concern about his health â but there was an incident in the same year where you caught him smoking at the uniâs park after a particularly taxing exam, and how you did not hesitate to tell him that you hated â absolutely abhorred â smokers. You said you didnât care if he smoked, but as a med student he shouldâve known better.
He never touched that shit again.
âChanging your ways now?â Mingyu says with a teasing â more like mocking â tone, inserting the pack and lighter back in his pants.
Jungkook shrugs at that, which earns him a scoff from Mingyu.
âDo you smoke around her?â Jungkook suddenly asks.
âWho?â
â__.â
A beat of silence. And then Mingyu laughs.
âNo. She doesnât know I smoke. She doesnât have to.â
Good. Jungkook thinks. Good that he doesnât smoke around her. But what did he mean by saying she doesnât need to know?
âShe doesnât like smokers, you know.â Jungkook tells him.
From his periphery, Jungkook sees Mingyu glancing at him. It takes a while for him to say something.
âYouâd know that, huh?â
The dip in his tone makes Jungkook meet his gaze. Suddenly, the smirk on Mingyuâs face is gone, and thereâs something behind his eyes that he canât quite put a finger on.
Jungkook tries to ignore that. âIâve known her for a long time. The others can also tell you that.â He says, referring to the rest of your friends on the trip.
âYou think I donât know?â
With furrowed brows and growing confusion, Jungkook stares at Mingyu.
âWhat?â
âThat you like my girlfriend.â Mingyu spits the words out like venom in his mouth, but itâs in a way that tells him itâs been sitting with him for far too long. Jungkookâs surprised at the declaration, feels himself being taken aback by the blunt way he said it as if heâs so sure.
But Jungkook doubles down, to Mingyuâs surprise.
âSo?â
That obviously wasnât the answer the other man wanted to hear. So, what? He can dish it, but he canât take it?
âYouâre goddamn pathetic, then.â Mingyu says after awhile, taking a hit on his cigarette again.
It itches the bubbling anger Jungkook has had for him for the past ten years.
âI like __, and Iâm not gonna deny that to you,â Jungkook faces him. âBut you donât have to worry about that, because unlike you, I have enough self-respect to not sleep with my friendâs girlfriend.â
Itâs another response that Mingyu does not expect. Jungkook also did not mean to let that out. But his tongue glided with the words and he couldnât help it. Suddenly, memories of junior year in undergrad comes back flashing to him; Jiyeon and Mingyu, fucking in his goddamn bed, his girlfriend cheating on him with his best friend.
Jungkookâs already moved on from that. Jiyeon was not a loss, even though she was his first girlfriend â heck, first love even, but she cheated on him. And not just with anybody but his best friend at the time. The worst thing was that Mingyu was completely in on it, and Jungkook doesnât think he ever felt remorse about what happened back then. Mingyu gave him a half-assed apology the day he walked in on them, even had the gall to âexplainâ Jiyeonâs side, that apparently, she just wasnât âfeeling itâ with Jungkook anymore, and that Mingyu and her had been hitting it off. Jungkook realized it was why Mingyu suddenly came over way too often over at his apartment.
Itâs exactly why he never bothered to meet with Mingyu after graduation. Why he was not enthusiastic meeting him at the engagement party.
But that happened so many years ago that he thought Mingyuâs changed. He didnât want to burst your bubble and tell you what happened between them back then because heâd be the one to ruin the happiness youâve wished for all these years.
âI see youâre still hung up on that.â Mingyu says after a while. He throws the cigarette away and steps on it with his heel.
Jungkookâs jaw ticks in what he feels is growing rage. âIâve moved on. Iâm just letting you know that even though I like __, Iâm never doing what you did back then.â
âYouâre such good guy, then?â
âIf not cheating makes me a good guy, then maybe I am.â Jungkook shrugs.
âJiyeon was a bitch. She was never gonna be good for you.â Mingyu suddenly says.
It makes Jungkook seethe. âAnd so you fucked her?â
âShe liked me better than you. Women always liked me more, thatâs why I was going through them while your goody-two shoes virgin prude ass was daydreaming about dating to marry. You remember that, right?â Mingyu looks at him with a mocking stare. âAnd Jiyeon was smoking hot. She offered, I just delivered. Said you couldnât make her cum properly. We could have shared her, you know?â
âFuck you.â Jungkook spits out. He feels enraged and pissed and disgusted all at the same time.
âAre you getting mad?â Mingyu levels him with an infuriating smirk. âYou always got a stick up in your ass, Jeon. Kyungmi told me youâre just a regular playboy these days, said it was the effect of your first girlfriend cheating on you. Right now, though, is that just a front to hide your feelings from my girlfriend? A pathetic boy best friend just wanting to be noticed by his hot girl best friend? You play that role so well. Telling me sheâs lactose intolerant, she doesnât like smokers⌠you want to fuck her so bad itâs laughable because you know you canât.â
âDonât⌠fucking talk about her like that.â Jungkook growls, and he feels blood rushing through his veins.
Mingyu shakes his head. âYou know what I thought when I first met her? I was completely interested right away, but when you showed upâŚâ He chuckles in the way that makes Jungkookâs skin prickle. âIt just made me want her more.â
âYouâre fucked in the head.â
âThis fucked in the head guy got the girl you want wanting to commit to him. I donât know if she told you, but weâre moving in together.â
Jungkook pokes his tongue to his cheek. âYou think I wonât tell her about this?â
âYou think sheâs gonna believe you?â Mingyu fires back. Jungkook closes his mouth, doesnât really know if heâs confident enough to say yes. That earns him an arrogant smirk from Mingyu. âThatâs right, she wonât. I have no doubt sheâs gonna choose me over you. Jiyeon has had before. And if youâre gonna fight the same battle again this time, youâll lose.â
Jungkook regulates his breathing hearing his words. Heâs starting to not see clearly, his fist clenching on his side and he knows better than to resort to violence, but Mingyuâs testing his patience.
Heâs completely wrong for thinking that he isnât the same asshole he was back in college. Heâs completely wrong for not telling you about him sooner. Heâs completely wrong about everything.
Glancing at his hand, Mingyu looks him in the eyes, leaning forward. âYou wanna hit me just like how you did back then? You almost fucking killed me when you gave me that head injury that kicked me out of the fucking team.â
The head injury. That fucking head injury. Jungkook was so mad when he found out that he just saw pure red. It wasnât his best moment â he knows. He lost control and just⌠went for it. He still regrets doing it â not punching Mingyu â but for losing it when he couldâve shown him that heâd always be the bigger person between them both.
Heâs quiet and Mingyu takes that as a win. Scoffing, Mingyu says, âI couldâve reported you to the admin and you couldâve been expelled, and if that happened, you couldnât have gone to med. You are where you are right now because of me, so donât fucking show that animosity towards me because you fucking owe me one.â
Jungkook canât help but laugh. But he does so humorlessly. âYou really think that?â He stares at the other guy. âYouâre just as delusional as you were back then, Gyu. You think everybody liked you â but that was just because you were a touch-deprived loser who would fuck anything that breathed near him, and I wasnât. I only entertained women I liked. You thought you were smarter, but I was always the one who got the better and higher grades, even though you studied way harder. Is that why you went with law? So you wonât have to compete with me in the med field? I also know you were pissed as fuck when the captain title was passed on to me instead of you,â Jungkook leans closer as well. âYouâve always thought of yourself so highly, but deep down, you were just an insecure little boy trying to compete with another guy that didnât even see you as competition because you were that irrelevant.â
Mingyu, in his own fir of rage, grabs Jungkookâs collar, but Jungkook stays in his place, face stoic as Mingyu snarls, âYou keep running your mouth while you cry yourself to sleep because those donât mean anything when Iâm the one fucking the love of your life,â Jungkook visibly recoils to that, and when Mingyu notices, he smirks, adding, âYeah, yeah, you wanna know how __ is in bed? Because youâll never see her sopping wet when you give her cock. That angelic face of hers⌠youâll never know sheâs a slut the way that filthy mouth asks me to fuck her harder because I am that gooââ
He wasnât able to finish his sentence when Jungkookâs heavy fist suddenly lands on his cheek.
That effectively gets Mingyu to let go of Jungkookâs collar as he loses his balance and steps backwards limply, thumbing the side of his mouth only to see blood.
Whisking away his fist, Jungkook looks at Mingyu with fire in his eyes and venom in his voice when he says, âDonât you ever fucking dare talk about her like that, you fucking piece of shit.â
The moon hangs low in the sky, casting a silvery white glow over the beach, but the comforting sound of waves and the calm of the surrounding is a contrast to the rising tension between Jungkook and Mingyu.
When Mingyu doesnât say anything, Jungkook turns on his heel, ready to leave, but suddenly, he feels the back of his shirt getting pulled and being met with a fist right on his cheek, close to his nose. He barely dodges the hit, taken aback by the unexpected attack.
âFuck you.â Mingyu grits, eyes blazing.
With that, the fight intensifies, with Jungkook throwing a quick jab back. Mingyu retaliates with as much fury, the two of them grappling, their bodies colliding with violent force. Soon, the sound of their grunts and the occasional crash of a punch against flesh is drowned out by the crashing waves.
And then a familiar voice calls their names.
âJungkook! Mingyu!â
âOh my god!â
Jungkookâs suddenly being taken away by somebody by his arms, and he realizes itâs Taehyung when he speaks up again once he and Mingyu are off each other.
âWhat the fuck are you two doing?â Taehyung asks incredulously, rightfully shocked at what heâs seen. Jungkook forces his way out of Taehyungâs hold in frustration, wiping the side of his mouth. Mingyuâs on the other side a few inches away being hesitantly held down by Nayeon, who looks at all of them with deep worry in her eyes. Turning to her, Taehyung says, âCall Doyeon and __. Theyâre sleeping in the same room together at the villa.â
âYou donât need to do that,â Jungkook says, glaring at Taehyung.
He looks at him angrily. âYouâre fistfighting with somebody at fuck oâclock in the morning. Weâre going to get run off by the police, be thankful we saw you.â
âI-Iâll call Doyeon and __.â Nayeon stutters, reluctantly pulling away from Mingyu and going to the direction of the villas.
When she leaves, Taehyung looks between the two beaten up men, not believing their busted faces. Rubbing his own with his hands in frustration, he looks back at them again, saying, âWhat the fuck happened to you guys? Why were you fighting?â
âItâs none of your business.â Mingyu says.
Taehyung glances at him with irritation. âNone of my business? Fuck off, Kim Mingyu. You joined in on this trip. Everything that happens here is quite literally each otherâs business.â
âTae.â
âI canât believe you guys,â Taehyung shakes his head, ignoring Jungkook. âFighting like goddamn immature teenagers⌠are you not embarrassed?â
Looking away, Jungkook decides to sit on the sand and let Taehyungâs words go from one ear to another. His energy is waning and the rage he had a while ago is just simmering down to⌠nothing. He feels absolutely empty.
âJungkook?â He doesnât realize the steps that were coming towards them were you and Doyeon. Itâs obvious that youâve both been sleeping, still in your pajamas as you rush towards their direction. He looks at you when you call his name, but then suddenly, you turn to Mingyu. âMingâ what happened?â
Jungkook feels his heart break when you come towards Mingyuâs direction first. He knows why you did. Heâs your boyfriend, of course you are going to tend to him first.
Suddenly, he remembers what Mingyu said. About you choosing him over Jungkook.
Jungkook didnât doubt that, but it doesnât mean it doesnât hurt a little to see it fully realized.
âJungkookâ Jesus Christ,â Doyeon comes over to him and quickly checks his head. With knitted brows, she casts him a look.
âIâm fine.â
Sheâs about to say something, but then she closes her mouth and then glances at you.
Sighing, she turns to everyone and announces, âLook, letâs just get them back to the villa. Treat their wounds before they get infected.â
âRight.â Taehyung says and then comes over to Jungkook to help Doyeon guide him in walking. He relents first because he doesnât need their assistance, but Taehyung looks at him and he knows heâs pissed. So, he lets them.
As he tries to subtly look over to where you were, you have your arm around Mingyuâs waist while Nayeon helps guide him as well.
It takes a tedious few minutes to get back to the villa where Doyeon and Taehyung decide to take care of him in his room while Nayeon and you tend to Mingyu back in your room.
Doyeon nor Taehyung doesnât say anything the whole time. Just let the silence fall in the room as they clean his wounds and put bandages around the cuts on his face and treat his busted lip.
He knows theyâll talk to him in the next few hours. Itâs inevitable. But at least theyâre sparing him for tonight â or today, since itâs almost four am.
Jungkook regrets not seeing the sunrise.
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this chapter is not over yet! tumblr has a 1k paragraph/block limit in a single post and so i can't put the whole thing in this. please look thru the reblogs to read the last scene and the continuation of this chapter or click on this [ link ]
#jungkook angst#jungkook fluff#jungkook smut#bts smut#jungkook x reader#mingyu x reader#bts imagines#bts scenarios
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Little Rainbow
Pairing: Azriel Ă reader
Summary: When you canât comfort your baby daughter, you bring her to her dad, who always manages to calm her down.
Warnings: just lots of fluff
Word count: 2.2k
A/N: I thought I'd try my hand at writing second person pov instead of third. It just felt natural to write this one in 2nd pov. Maybe I'll stick with it in the future idk. This was born out of my baby fever btw, enjoy!
Azriel sensed you right before his shadows whispered of your arrival. He would recognize those steps and those soft wails anywhere.
A smile was already on his lips when the door opened with a small creak and you, his beautiful and loving mate, walked in holding your few-months-old daughter in your arms.
Leaning against the back of his chair, he watched as his shadows shot forward to greet the two of you, writhing around you and caressing your cheeks. You chuckled, but your daughter's soft cries stopped only for a moment before starting again, her little face even redder.
Azriel had spent centuries thinking he would never find love, that he wasn't good enough to deserve it. He was glad for his brothersâ happiness, and yet silently jealous of what they had. Brother, uncle, friendâhe was grateful for it all, he truly was, but he longed for something more.
Then he met you.
Even before the mating bond snapped, he already knew you were the one. He had never been so smitten with someone in all his long years. He fell for you as quickly as a stone sinks in water, and finding out you were mates was just the cherry on top. He was convinced he could never love anything or anyone as much as he loved you.
But then you got pregnant. And when you gave birth, one look at the tiny bundle in Madja's arms was enough to prove him wrong. Seeing his mate holding his baby shortly after brought tears to his eyes, and he couldn't keep them from falling when you passed him Irisânamed for the rainbow shining in the sky as she came into the world.
It was one of the happiest moments of his life, if not the happiest: looking down at the fragile, beautiful new life he had helped create.
But now, Iris was crying.
âOne of those days?â he asked, his arms already outstretched toward his daughter.
âYeah⌠sorry to interrupt you,â you answered with a sigh. You passed the baby to him and perched on the armrest of his chair. âBut I tried feeding her, playing with her. I sang her all the lullabies I know. Nothing worked. She wants you.â
Azriel smiled down at Iris, holding her as if she were the most precious thing in the world. And to him, to you, she was. You were never interrupting when it was about her.
âYou missed me, little rainbow?â he asked softly, a scarred finger trailing down her red, puffy cheeks. His shadows followed suit to swirl around her little face as if they could wipe away her tears.
He'd been scared at firstâscared he would somehow taint something so perfect with his scarred hands, hands that had done things he had never been proud of. Though you had reassured him many times, his every concern melted away completely only when Iris had grabbed his pointer finger and innocently put it in her mouth.
It was exactly what she was doing now. Under Azriel's adoring gaze, his daughter wrapped her tiny hands around the finger he had just used to caress her and began contentedly sucking on it, her wails stopping for the moment.
âI don't understand how you do that,â you complained, though your tone was soft, your eyes full of pure love and adoration as you watched your mate and your baby. âShe refused her binky when I gave it to her. Every. Single. Time.â
Azriel finally looked up from his child and met your gaze. Amusement sparked in his eyes at your grumble.
âDon't take it personally, love,â he said, curling one of his wings around you and gently nudging you with it. âShe said âmamaâ the other day.â
Catching on to his little wing bump, you slid from the armrest onto his lap, even as you rolled your eyes at him. âShe didn't say 'mamaâ. She was just babbling. She's too young to say words, Az.â
Azriel hummed thoughtfully, but his gaze slid back to Iris. She was still clutching his finger, and even though it had been almost seven months since she was born, watching her was as mesmerizing as the first time.
She had his eyesâhazel with a speck of greenâbut her hair was the same shade as yours. The two of you had initially spent hours simply gazing at her, whether she was awake or asleep, endlessly debating who she resembled the most. You claimed she had inherited Azriel's nose, he said she had your mouth. The truth was, it was too soon to know for sure, but neither of you cared. She was your rainbow, and she would always be perfect in Azriel's eyes.
The one thing he wasn't sure how to feel about was the lack of wings. After Feyre's tragic experience while giving birth, he had been relieved when Madja announced that your baby wouldn't have them. He never wanted to see you in such pain or risk losing you during childbirth. And yet, he was still Illyrian. Nothing could change that. A part of him longed for the chance to teach his baby daughter to fly, to hear the song of the wind and feel that unparalleled sense of freedom that only came from soaring high in the sky.
âMaybe it's the shadows.â
Your voice dragged him back to reality, and he turned to you with a furrowed brow.
âWhy she's always calmer around you,â you clarified, gesturing to the shadows swirling around Iris. You caressed her head, and her eyes tracked back to you as she giggled around Azriel's finger. âThey soothe her.â
Azriel smiled, his heart soaring at the sound of his daughter's soft laughter. His wing curled more tightly around you, drawing you closer so he could place a gentle kiss on your temple. âShe's just like her mom, isn't she?â
You could only nod, returning his loving smile with one of your own. It was trueâhis shadows had always been a safe space to you. The first time he had seen you upset, they rushed to you, swirling around you and brushing your cheeks and your neck until you chuckled. From that moment, whether it was anger, sadness, or fatigue, they would leave Azriel's side to cheer you up before he could even take a step in your direction.
Your head came to rest on Azrielâs shoulder and you both watched your daughter's eyes grow heavy, her lids starting to drop as she stubbornly tried to keep them open, her hold on her dad's finger relenting.
âYou fall asleep so easily in daddy's arms, don't you, little rainbow?â you whispered as you tenderly booped her cute little nose. âJust like mommy.â
Azriel chuckled, placing his now-free hand on the small of your back to gently nudge you to stand up. âLet's go to bed, love.â
You rose from his lap, and he immediately felt the absence of your warmth against him, but you only stood in front of him with that cute frown of yoursâthe one that created a small crease between your brows that he always wanted to smooth with his thumb.
Azriel knew exactly what you were thinking.
During the last month of your pregnancy, he had asked Rhys to keep missions away from Velaris to a bare minimum. And after Iris was born, he had stopped taking on any missions that required him to be away for more than two days, because he simply couldn't bear the thought of being separated from you and his baby girl. After centuries, he had finally learned the meaning of the word âdelegateâ. But sending his spies on jobs he'd usually do himself had led to a high pile of documents and reports on his deskâa pile he mostly tackled after you and Iris had gone to bed.
âI'm done working for tonight,â he reassured you, standing up and rocking Iris in his arms. âIt can wait.â
It couldn't, not really. Some of those papers had been sitting on his desk for days, and the Azriel he was until seven months ago would have recoiled at the mere thought of unfinished work. But that was before an eternal rainbow added even more colors to his life than you already had.
You only smiled at him and brushed a kiss against his cheek. âLet's go to bed, then,â you repeated before turning to walk out.
Azriel followed you, his babyâs eyes fluttering open at the movement and darting around as he walked down the pastel-blue hallway. She was always so curious, even when tired.
Not wanting to risk Iris deciding sheâd rather stay awake and explore than sleep, Azriel began to hum her favorite lullaby. You glanced over your shoulder at the sound of his deep voice resonating off the walls, a soft smile on your lips as you watched the shadows gently sway to the melody.
He met your gaze when you stopped in front of Irisâs room, where you had painted the walls a light shade of pink while Azriel assembled the cream-colored furniture. He shook his head and gestured for you to keep walking, never interrupting his soft singing as Irisâs eyes fluttered closed once more. You raised an eyebrow but continued toward your bedroom at the end of the hallway.
You had recently started getting Iris used to sleeping in her own room instead of yours, with both doors left open for the rare times she still woke up at night. But tonight, Azriel wanted to hold both his girls in his arms.
Iris was fast asleep by the time Azriel gently placed her in the center of your large bed, careful not to wake her up. She rolled onto her tummy and let out a content sigh that had you both staring in awe.
You turned to him and wrapped your arms around his waist. âYou didn't want her to sleep alone?â you murmured, your tone amused.
âI couldn't,â he answered with a smile, his fingers tangling in your silky hair. âShe missed me, you said it yourself.â
You chuckled, leaning up to peck him on the lips.
Azriel didn't let you pull away.
It felt like a lifetime had passed since he last had some alone time with you. If it wasn't Iris needing attention and care, it was his duties as spymaster keeping him so busy that you had resorted to dragging your favorite armchair in his study, where you would curl up with a book during your daughter's nap time. Sitting in comfortable silence as you each focused on your own tasks was better than being apart.
He felt you relax, melting against his body as he deepened the kiss, and only then did he pull back to rest his forehead against yours.
âAnd I missed you,â he whispered. Your cheeks were warm under his touch and he took a moment to just breathe in your familiar, soothing scent.
âThen you should have let Iris sleep in her crib, my love,â you said with a glance at your daughter. A mischievous gleam entered your eyes when they settled on him again. âBecause I really miss you too.â
Azriel's soft laugh echoed in the room, and he kissed the top of your head. âTomorrow,â he promised. He could make those reports wait a bit longer.
You smirked, stealing one last kiss before stepping back to peel off your clothes. He took a moment to admire youâyour smooth skin, the dip of your hips, the soft curve of your stomach that remained from childbirthâbut he quickly undressed as well, and soon you were both in bed, with Iris nestled between you.
Azriel placed a broad hand on her back to draw her a bit closer, and his wing draped over you as you scooted over, enveloping the three of you in a warm, dark cocoon, the silence interrupted only by your daughterâs soft snoring.
He felt you move in the dark and guessed you had just kissed Iris when you murmured, âGoodnight, my rainbow. Even though you didn't let me sing you lullabies.â
Azriel didn't need to see your face to know you had a loving look in your eyes and a playful smile on your lips.
âOf course she prefers my lullabies,â he teased, brushing his thumb over Iris's back. âShe's her daddy's girl.â
For a moment, he was tempted to fold back his wing and let the moonlight caress your face, just to catch your cute pout as you said, âI used to be your girl.â
âYou still are, love. You're both my girls,â he assured you, letting his wing lower over you like a second blanket. âYou're my family. There's nothing I love more than you and Iris.â
âI love you too,â you replied, your voice now stripped of all playfulness. Only pure, undiluted sincerity remained, warming his heart. âBoth of you.â
Silence fell again, and it wasn't long before your breathing evened out as you drifted into sleep. But Azriel stayed awake a while longer, listening to the steady rhythm of his mate's soft sighs and his daughter's occasional snorts.
His own little familyâeverything he had ever wanted, more than he had ever dared to hope for.
Taglist: @mrsjna @navyblue-eternity @paintedbyshadows @highladyandromeda @starswholistenanddreamsanswered @azrielsmate3 @mollygetssherlockcoffee @mirandasidefics @tinystarfishgalaxy @cynthiesjmxazrielslover @anarchiii @readinggeeklmao @andreperez11
#azriel#azriel shadowsinger#azriel Ă reader#azriel x y/n#azriel x you#acotar#sjm#fanfic#azriel spymaster#fluff#azriel fluff#shadowsinger
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Obsession
Summary: Miguel tries to convince himself that his obsession with you was justified, but fails miserably as you spend the night over.
Pairing: Miguel OâHara x spider-woman!reader
18+. Miguel POV. Obsessed and jealous Miguel. Inexperienced reader. Breeding kink. Sexual tension and frustration. Reader has nipple piercings.
Previous parts: 1 & 2 (you may enjoy this one separately, but might miss out on some context)
Miguel tried to convince himself that adding a mic to your digital suit was purely for safety purposes.
He really did try.
But he couldnât keep from listening in when you first wore it on your way to the spider cafeteria.
He had just briefed a squad and was monitoring Nueva York through a multitude of hovering screens, as he stood on his platform.
Tapping quickly on the flickering surface, he was able to zoom in on you through the ceiling cameras.
You looked absolutely breathtaking.
The suit fit you like a glove and left little to the imagination. He was proud of his work. You deserved wearing something of his for everyone to see.
He saw you approaching a nearby table, taking a seat. In front of you were Jessica Drew and Peter B. Parker with Mayday who greeted you with warm smiles.
The sound of your voice echoed through the walls around him, as you extended your arms.
âMayday! Baby! Itâs so good to see you!â
The little girl broke into a giggle and began wriggling forward on Peterâs lap to reach you.
You promptly took her in your arms. âDid you miss me? Did you?â your voice was slight high-pitched and you wiggled your fingers, tickling her. âOh, I have a present for her.â
âReally? Thatâs so nice of you,â Peter beamed.
âI donât have it here, but I think sheâll love it,â you said, patting Maydayâs back lightly, earning a genuine hug from her.
Miguel felt his heart clench violently.
You were a natural with kids.
You were just too good to be true and he felt his hands clench tightly.
Would he ever be able to have you? To make you yearn for him? To breed you? To have children with you?
âWait, is that a⌠digital suit?â Jessicaâs voice cracked through the mic.
You had your back turned to him, so he couldnât see your face, but he felt the warmth in your voice as you spoke, âIt sure is!â
He groaned lowly.
There you were⌠his sweet girl.
âWho gave it to you?â
âMiguel,â you said with that tenderness he had grown to adore.
He could easily get addicted to you saying his name, and he could only hope that, one day, he might hear it a much more compelling setting.
âMiguel⌠OâHara?â
You nodded.
From the screen he could see her exchanging looks with Peter.
âIt looks really cool!â Peter smiled enthusiastically, inspecting your sleeves. âWish heâd offer me one, too.â
Jessica chuckled. âWell, Iâve been here with him for months and heâs never given me one.â
JessicaâŚ
It was to be expected. She was no fool. He had scouted her precisely because she was anything but that.
You had been recruited only three weeks ago, but the hold you had on him was tight. He had never felt this way before with someone else.
You straightened in your seat, as Mayday nibbled on your thumb. âWait⌠do you think I should give it back?â
Miguel felt his heart jumpstart and panic build inside him.
âNo â no! Jessica,â Perer shot her a glare who merely shrugged, before offering you a kind smile. âIt looks great on you. Did you pick the colours?â
âYes! Iâm really happy with the final result,â you said, helping Mayday sit at the edge of the table, as you secured her with both hands. âIt was his way of showing gratitute.â
Jessica snapped her fingers after taking a sip of her drink. âYouâre helping him out with the portals, right?â
âWeâre working on portal stabilisation and reduced motion sickness,â you said and he could almost taste the pride and passion in your voice. âWeâre making some progress.â
Miguel had gotten used to the random erections youâd awake from him throughout the day. But this one felt particularly painful.
You were so smart and so devoted. He couldnât even take credit for the progress, because it was mostly just you.
His sweet and clever girl.
He glanced down at the outline of his strained cock, clicking his tongue.
By the time his eyes settled on the monitor, Jessica had walked away momentarily and he saw Peter lean in.
âHey⌠are you and Miguel⌠a thing?â
Miguel froze.
Mayday proceeded to wrap tiny fingers around some of his locks, tugging lightly.
He wish he could have seen your reaction.
âOh! No! No⌠weâre just friends,â you quickly said, waving your hands rapidly. âHeâs like a mentor to me, really.â
Anger flared inside him. A friend? A mentor? He knew deep down this made absolute sense, but it still made him seething with rage.
Peter didnât seem all that convinced, but nodded. âJust wondering. Heâs not usually this⌠kind?â
Miguel felt his fangs threaten to emerge as he gritted his teeth.
There had been nothing kind about him building you a suit. He hadnât done it out of the goodness of his heart.
He wanted to claim you and this had been the easiest and safest way for now.
âWell, I know heâs a grumpy,â you chuckled with a shrug, as you patted Mayday on the back. âMaybe heâs changing?â
You wouldnât want him to change. Not really. The level of devotion he had for you was unmatched and nothing you could ever have from someone else.
âMaybe youâre a good influence on him?â Peter concluded, tapping his chin. âAs a friend, of course.â
âPeterâŚ.â he growled lowly.
âAs a friend,â you nodded. âBesides, thereâsâŚâ but your voice trailed off.
His erection nearly immediately deflated as dread took over.
Thereâs what?
He turned up the micâs volume, but winced instead, as you banged on the table.
You cleared your throat. âWell, gotta go! I have work to do.â
Peter took Mayday back into his lap and chuckled. âDonât forget her present!â
âI wonât! Wish me luck, though,â you said, crossing your fingers as you started to walk away. âI really need these chips to stop blowing and melting on me!â
âGood luck! Say bye bye, Mayday,â Peter waved his hand, which the little girl promptly mimicked with a giggle.
âBye, baby!â you beamed.
Miguel had had enough.
He switched off your mic with a tap on his watch.
He really had tried to convince himself that his obsession for you was justified. That is was rooted in more than lust and desire, but he wasnât so sure anymore.
After you moved to Nueva York, he had you working closely to him on portal stabilisation.
But what had started out as something innocent, soon shifted into something else entirely.
Your company brought him peace and quiet, and ticket his brain just the right way to keep him motivated.
Until it didnât.
Until you became his torment.
He had let you in his life in the hopes that you let him in yours.
The first time you gave him a boner was when he walked in on you in the lab, wearing nothing but a tank top and a pencil pressed firmly in between your lips, as you moved from screen to screen to check on the update progress.
The worst part? You didnât even notice how utterly delicious you looked and how he could easily bend you over and take you right there.
No.
You just offered him a sweet smile.
One he hadnât recovered from ever since.
âMiguel?â
He jolted as the voice snapped him from his torturous thoughts. âWhat?â
Lyla hovered nearby, eyeing him closely. âFangs out,â she wiggled her index finger disapprovingly. âPavitr and Hobie are waiting for you.â
His fangs retracted slowly as he tried to gain his composure back. âWhy?â
âMission?â she quirked an eyebrow.
Right.
âNow?â
âYouâre already late.â
He growled, tapping on a few screens hurriedly.
âOh, and Miguel?â
âWhat?â
The hologram popped near the screen to his left. âYou might want to be more subtle when using her in-suit mic.â
He gave her narrow side-glace. âWhat do you mean?â
âJust saying,â she said, adjusting her heart-shapped glasses. âYouâre not the only tech savvy spider here.â
The door to his apartment swung open at once, and he stepped inside ready to decompress from the tiresome mission.
He had made plans with some of your audio recordings and his hand, hoping that would be enough to easy the pent-up tension that had been looming over year throughout the way.
It was a less than ideal situation, but would have to do for now.
That was until he noticed his living room was lit.
Pacing rapidly he was met with you.
In the middle of a pile of papers and electronic components scattered around the floor, he saw you sitting cross-legged with a pencil danging from your lips, his digital suit clinging tightly to your body.
âWhat are you doing here?â
Your bead snapped in his direction and the pencil tumbled to the floor. âMiguel! Lyla let me in.â
He was rooted in place.
Had it been someone else, he would have flung them through the window with no warning.
But you werenât just someone.
And Lyla wouldnât have let someone else enter his apartment, either.
âItâs quite late,â he said, pacing carefully toward you as not to step on anything. âYou could have called me.â
You waved a hand dismissively and held a circular metallic object in the other. âCatch!â
Before he could say anything back, you had tossed it in his direction, which he quickly grabbed in between his fingers.
âFound what was wrong with it,â you smiled proudly. âIt was stupid of me, really. There wasnât any thermal paste in it. Thatâs why it kept blowing up.â
Miguel stared at the chip in his hand and blinked a few times.
âI assumed you were using it from the start,â he said, inspecting the cross section.
You rose to your feet in an instant and joined his site, excitement spilling from you. âThese ion batteries should not require thermal paste â not for this amount of energy, at least. But yeah⌠my bad,â you said, rubbing the back of your neck.
Miguel locked eyes with yours and felt a familiar tingle in his body.
Fuck.
You were just so ridiculously attractive, and he wish he could hear you ramble about tech and science for hours.
âThis is really, really good news,â he said genuinely, handing the chip back to you.
He squeezed your arm lightly as encouragement, knowing fully well he should be rewarding you in other ways.
His sweet girlâŚ
You darted back to the floor, gathering some papers. âSorry for the mess. I just had to figure this out and couldnât sleep.â
A scientist at heart, you were.
Blood began to rush to his groin in no time. It couldnât be helped. His body had been so on edge to finally fuck you, that it was in this permanent state of arousal around you.
âItâs fine. I still have those moments,â he said softly, crouching to help you out. âSometimes I canât sleep, and I have to do something else.â
âLike what?â
âI either go to the lab, orâŚâ I jerk off to the thought of being buried deep inside you, he wanted to say.
You eyed him expectantly, biting your lip lightly, further hardening his cock.
âWell, itâs a bit late,â Miguel eventually said, standing tall. âMaybe you should get back to your apartment?â
He hated himself for even suggesting such option, but he didnât want to push his luck. You being here would be fuel enough for the rest of the night as he fucked his hand.
âOh, you just got back from a mission,â you fought back a yawn, tossing your backpack over your shoulder. âIâll just leave.â
Miguel nodded, but was crumbling inside.
Your face lit up again. âBut this was great, right?â
Please stay.
âYou did great,â he said with a short smile. âGo get some rest.â
PleaseâŚ
You made your way down the hall and waved at him. âSee you in the morning, Miguel.â
He should have let you go.
But something took over him, before he could fight it back.
âActually, you could stay. Itâs nearly four in the morning,â he tried to sound as casual as possible, but the excitement was hard to contain. âAnd we have to head back to the lab early.â
You turned around and he stopped breathing.
Too much?
Then he the backpack slide down your arm, hittingbthe floor with a thud. âOh, thank you! I really didnât feel like swinging back to my apartment,â you voice held pure gratitude and he felt his ego soar. âOnly⌠I donât have any clothes.â
He shook his head as realisation hit him. âRight. Wait here.â
âOkay~â
Bolting into his room, he went through his closet, fetching a shirt and a robe.
But before heading out, he decided to change into some sweatpants and a shirt himself.
His erection welcomed the looser material, and heâd be able to better conceal it from you.
Taking a final look at his cock, Miguel decided to give it a few pumps as if trying to calm it down.
He couldnât believe his luck.
He couldnât believe his sweet girl would be so close to him in his clothes and apartment.
And bed.
As he exited the room and handed the clothes to you, he cleared his throat. âYou can take my bed.â
You looked up at him. âOh⌠no, Miguel. You just came back from a mission.â
âIâm not that tired. Just take it.â
Please.
âAre you sure?â
âOne hundred percent.â
Anything that was his was yours. He would give it all to you.
âBe right back,â you said, before disappearing into the bathroom, closing the door behind you.
He immediately sighed in relief, adjusting his cock, feeling the first beads of precum spill from the tip.
How was he to survive this?
Not long after, you emerged again.
He glanced over at the length of you, taking in the sight of his shirt and robe on you. Your legs were still covered with the digital suit, but you looked absolutely ready to be devoured.
But he couldnât do it.
Not yet.
His cock twitched in his pants, yearning to be inside you.
Then something else caught his attention when his moved up your body.
It couldnât beâŚ
Two symmetrical protuberances poked through the fabric of your shirt â his shirt.
âAre thoseâŚâ his voice faltered momentarily, not trusting his own eyes.
You followd his line of sight and giggled. âOh! Yeah. Got them pierced way back. Wanted to defy my dad and got them out of spite,â you went on, adjusting the fabric of the shirt under the robe. âBut eventually kept them. They look cute.â
Cute?
Miguel was at a loss for words.
Your voice mixed with your carefree posture sent jolts directly into his cock.
âIâŚâ he swallowed the lump in his throat. âI didnât notice them before,â he said, feeling his mouth run dry.
âI was wearing a bra,â you replied with a shrug and a tender smile.
This was almost comically painful.
You were the closest thing he had ever known to innocence as of late. Yet here you stood, wearing just his shirt, no bra, and with your pierced nipples poking through his shirt.
But none of that seemed to matter to you.
You were completely oblivious of how painfully hard he was for you.
âDid it hurt?â
âTerribly,â you said, still glacing down at your breasts and hardened nipples. âBut I think itâs worth it.â
The adorable way in which you said it was almost driving him insane.
Just how innocent could one person beâŚ
Before he could even process his thoughts, he spoke, âCan IâŚâ
Your eyes met his and Miguel feared he had now fucked it up for good.
Brilliant, MiguelâŚ
âOh, you mean⌠you want to see them?â
Should he back down and just deny his intentions?
âYouâve never seen nipple piercings before?â
He shook his head.
Just as he was about to tell you to forget it, you lifted his shirt, revealing your breasts to him.
He nearly exploded right there and then.
âOh, please!â she giggled. âWeâre people of science, and you havenât seen this before. Science is all about curiosity and discovery.â
Miguel, however, wasnât listening to any of that and felt as though he was hypnotised. He could tear his eyes away from your perky nipples and the metal rods that went through them, a tiny spider danging from each of them.
He wasnât sure when or how he had got so close to you, but he lifted his hand to touch one.
His cock twitched violently and he felt his mind hazy with lust.
âTheyâre cool, right?â you beamed, allowing him to swipe the pad of his thumb across the tiny spider.
âYeah.â
Really âcoolâ.
More precum dripped from his tip and had to fight back his fangs from slipping out.
He wanted to bend over and dart his tongue out to play with them. He wanted to tug on them and wanted you to arch your back with a soft moan.
You pulled down the shirt again and he flinched his hand back instantly, swallowing hard.
âSo⌠if â when you have a baby and want to breastfeed⌠will there be an issue?â
Of course his need to breed you had to surface at the worst possible time.
But he had to know. He needed to know if that would be a nuisance. He couldnât take any risks and he wanted you completely ready to carry his children.
You shrugged, adjusting the robe around you. âI wasnât thinking that far ahead when I got them, but I suppose I just have to take them out.â
He nodded, taking a few steps back.
You stretched out with a yawn. âMind if I go to sleep now?â
âOf course,â he nodded.
You were about to whirl on your feet, but decided against it. âHow do you say âthank youâ in Spanish?â
That caught him off guard and his eyes widened. âGracias.â
Then you gave him the sweetest smile. âGracias, Miguel.
He could cum just from this alone.
How he would teach you the filthiest things in Spanish⌠how he would whisper them in your ear, knowing fully well you couldnât understand a wordâŚ
You then slipped into his room and closed the door.
He ran both hands through his hair, wanting to let out a scream.
The things he wanted to do to youâŚ
The things you deserved done to youâŚ
He brought one hand down to tug at his waistband, revealing his soaked cock.
Then he bit the back of his other hand.
Hard.
He didnât even care if he drew blood.
He couldnât take this anymore.
Engulfed with overwhelming frustration, he pressed his forehead against the tall window that overlooked Nueva York.
He had to calm down, or else heâd have to synthesise a serum to lower his levels of testosteroneâŚ
He had to find a way to stop.
As minutes ticked by, he decided to check your bio readings on his watch. Your heart rate had lowered significantly, indicating him you were now asleep.
The predator in him took control again and he paced towards his bedroom, opening the door just enough to check on you.
Fast asleep.
He walked in with careful steps, finally taking in the sight of you on his bed.
The floor-to-ceiling windows allowed for the faintest moonlight to be cast on you.
He felt his heart was about to implode as he drew near, slowly sitting by the edge of the mattress.
You lay on your back, breathing evenly and covered up to your waist with a blanket.
Miguel took a deep and shaky breath.
You smelled of him and his bedsheets smelled of you.
Such a powerful and dangerous combination, that he almost considered gripping his cock.
Bur decided against it.
Instead, he say there, staring at you, absorbing every single detail of your body.
His hand twitched as an itch took over it.
An itch he had to scratch.
He reached out to graze the back of one finger along your forearm, feeling your warmth coating his skin.
His sweet girlâŚ
His imagination ran wild and he had hoped he could have fucked you to sleep, not sliding out of you, making sure youâd take his seed.
Pain swallowed him whole as despair settled.
What if he never managed to make you his?
What if you decided you wanted nothing more than a friendship?
How could he cope?
Suddenly, you flinched and rolled to your side and heaved a deep sigh. âOh, TomâŚâ
Miguel was left petrified and his blood ran cold.
Who the fuck was Tom?
Part 4
Masterlist
#miguel oâhara x reader#miguel oâhara smut#miguel oâhara x you#miguel oâhara#miguel ohara x reader#spiderman 2099 x reader#spiderman 2099#miguel oâhara x fem!reader
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Kinktober Day 15 - Public Sex - OP81
Oscar Piastri X Reader
TW - Remote control vibrator in public,
WC
Y/N POV
"Oscar, this is a terrible idea," I whisper to my long-term boyfriend while staring at the little remote-controlled vibrator he was trying to convince me to wear to the club tonight.
"No one will notice," He tells me back making me roll my eyes. We both knew damn well I was never one to be able to keep it down or even hide it on my face.
"Oscar, we are going out will several members of the grid tonight. I don't need to be cumming all over a Monaco club," I tell him back but we could both tell the idea of possibly being caught by someone was turning me on.
""I never said you would be cumming," Oscar replies back with a smirk making me clench my thighs together in anticipation.
"If it gets too much we stop right?" I double check making sure I still have a safe out if it all becomes too much.
"Always, baby," Oscar tells me back before giving me a quick kiss on the lips before assisting me to lie down.
Once I'm comfortably laid out on the bed Oscar picks up the little vibrator making me squirm slightly. I'm wearing the little red dress that showed off all my curves and no panties waiting until after Oscar had situated the vibrator.
"Baby girl, I can already see how wet you are," Oscar tells me with a smirk while running a couple fingers through my wet folds making me whine at the stimulation which is far from what I need right now.
I hear a faint click of the vibrator letting me know Oscar had turned it on and was conntecting it to his phone. Once everything is all set up I see the vibrator come to life making me squirm in anticipation.
"Hurry," I whine making Oscar chuckle at my neediness.
"Just a couple minutes ago you didn't even want to do this," Oscar says with a small smirk before bringing the vibrator to my clit where we teases me slightly. I can feel the vibrations but it is no where near enough stimulation to bring me to an orgasm and Oscar know that.
When I feel myself start to drip from how soaked I am, I can feel Oscar start poking around at my pussy before slipping the vibrator in and letting my greedy pussy suck it in the rest of the way.
Oscar's fingers follow shortly behind stuffing me even more full that I was previously. When I gasp from the vibrator hitting my G-spot Oscar slowly pulls his fingers out letting the vibrator rest right against the most sensitive part in my body.
I'm instantly panting wanting and needing more stimulation and right when I think I'm about to get it, Oscar completely shuts it off. I let out one of the most high pitched whine I have ever produced from my vocal cords making Oscar laugh at my desperation.
He softly slaps my thigh before telling me, "put some panties on and get yourself together, we're leaving in a couple minutes."
I have very little time to process the feeling of the vibrator rubbing right against my G-spot before Oscar helps me up and moves me along. I could already tell it was gonna be a long night because even right now walking feels strange and he hasn't even been toying with me yet.
"Better put on your best performance," Oscar whispers against my ear before placing a soft kiss on the cheek making sure I feel the smirk that's written all over his face.
"Be nice," I whisper back trying to give him the best puppy dog eyes which only has Oscar laughing back in a teasing manner only letting me know he in fact was not going to be nice.
"Sure," Oscar whispers before turning the vibrations on high making my knees buckle and moan out at the shock.
Just as fast as the vibrations started was how fast they were cut off. I take a few seconds to catch my breath before finishing getting ready.
We've been at the club for about an hour neither of us drinking tonight. Oscar had yet to turn the vibrator on which has my anxiety reaching the roof.
Just as I start to relax I feel a soft vibrator turn on making me gasp slightly. I hadn't even realized Oscar grabbed his phone, which is exactly what he wanted. He wanted to me to be shocked when he turned the vibrations on for the first time.
"Oscar," I whisper wanting him to cut them off or turn it up because I needed more.
"More," I whisper again when Oscar just looks at me. Thankfully Oscar listened and turned it up just slightly. While the stimulation was nowhere near enough to bring me close to an orgasm but it was enough to satisfy the itch.
Oscar gives me about a minute or so of stimulation before he cuts off the vibrations. I hold back my whine knowing if I let it out there was a good chance Lando would be able to hear it as he has finally joined the table with Oscar and I.
"Are you guys not drinking tonight?" Lando asked Oscar and I when he realized neither of us had drinks in front of us other than the water that had been waiting at the table when we arrived to the VIP section.
"No, we have plans earl-y morning" I start replying but stutter slightly when Oscar turns on the vibrations mid-sentence. Either Lando didn't notice the slight stutter or he chose to ignore it because he just nodded his head before taking another swig of the drink he had in his hands.
Oscar left the vibrations on during the whole duration of Lando sitting with us. As soon as Lando got up to rejoin some of the others on the dance floor Oscar cut off the vibrations making me gasp for air trying to calm my hot body down.
I only had a few seconds to calm myself down before the vibrations turned back on but substantially higher this time. I instantly start moaning softly while gripping Oscar's thigh to try and settle myself.
"Oscar," I moan barely audible for even Oscar to hear. He was impressed with how quietly I had managed to keep my volume. I felt the vibrations turn up again making me whine and the grip on his thigh tightened as I approached my orgasm. Oscar must have caught on because the vibrations were cut off making me whine a little louder at the loss of stimulation.
Oscar just chuckled next to me before placing his hand on my thigh and trailing it up higher where he slowly teases his fingers across my panty-covered pussy where he could almost instantly feel the heat radiating off my pussy. When his finger grazed my clit softly I gasp at the stimulation. Oscar knew how sensitive my clit gets when I'm this turned on.
I feel the vibrations turn back on while Oscar is still teasing my clit making my pussy clench around the vibrator making it sink harder into my G-spot making me whine and start to squirm slightly.
"I need to cum," I whisper to Oscar while trailing my hand up higher on his thigh. When I got to his crotch I felt just how hard he was but he didn't enjoy the teasing because the vibrations were turned up to the highest setting making me tighten my grip on his cock making him hiss at the rough contact.
I'm on the verge of cumming in the middle of the VIP section when Oscar cuts off the vibrations again making me throw my head back with a groan.
This continued for several more minutes of Oscar turning on the vibrator to the highest setting before turning it off right as I was about to fall over the edge.
"Go to the bathroom now," Oscar whispers in my ear making me whine before getting up slowly. Oscar turns the vibrator back on but at a much softer setting bringing me to the edge but not quite enough to cum.
I stumble slightly while making my way to the dark back corner where I slip into the single-person bathroom and wait for Oscar to join.
It wasn't even a minute later when I heard a soft knock ring out from the other side of the door and I opened the door just enough to let Oscar slip inside.
When he finally gets a good look at me in better lighting he can see my hair is slightly messier than it was when I left the house, my lips were parted with rapid panting slipping past them, and my thighs were clenched trying to get as much stimulation as possible.
"Turn around," Oscar tells me making me instantly turn around facing the mirror in front of the sink. I rest my hands on the counter bracing myself for whatever Oscar has up his sleeve.
I feel the vibrations turn up to the highest setting again making my knees buckle slightly falling into the counter more.
"Please, let me cum," I gasp out begging again.
"No," Oscar says while turning off the vibrations making me whine and start to turn around to yell at Oscar, but he quickly stops me by grabbing my hips and sending a slap down to my ass making sure I didn't turn around.
When I look up into the mirror I can see the lust swimming through Oscar's eyes letting me know that while he wasn't getting the same type of stimulation I was he was still getting just as, much pleasure as I was just from watching me.
Oscar slowly bends down on his knees behind me where I felt him slowly pull my panties to the side making me gasp when the cool air hits my wet pussy.
I can feel Oscar pulling at the little antenna sticking out of my pussy pulling the vibrator out with a slow and teasing pull. When the vibrator is fully out of my pussy I gasp and can feel my soaked hole trying to clench around nothing now that it was completely empty.
When I feel Oscar slip his fingers through my folds I instantly moan and push my hips down trying to get more stimulation. When Oscar's fingers graze my clit I instantly buckle my hips from how pleasurable the stimulation is even though it was such a light touch.
"Can I fuck you," Oscar whispers while still applying the pressure to my clit.
"Please," I whine pushing my hips towards Oscar again letting him know I was ready and how bad I needed it.
I feel Oscar place a few kisses on the back of my hips before he stands up and pulls my dress up leaving my bottom half almost completely bare for him.
When I hear Oscar's fly being zipped down I clench my thighs in anticipation of whats to come.
"You ready?" Oscar asks while teasing the tip of his dick through my folds making sure to focus on my clit. I can't form words so I whine out before nodding my head.
When Oscar slips into my pussy I instantly moan out loudly not being able to contain myself.
"So tight," Oscar grunts into the back of head making me clench down on his cock.
"fuck," I moan when I open my eyes and look into the mirror in front of us. I notice how Oscar has his head thrown back in pure pleasure making me whine and clench down on him.
When Oscar opens his eyes and looks into the mirror we making eye contact before his pace starts to pick up into a brutal and unforgiven roughness making me close my eyes and moan loudly.
"Eyes on me," Oscar grunts making me open my eyes and keep my eyes on Oscar through the mirror.
"I'm close, please," I whine when I feel my orgasm start approaching.
"Cum with me," Oscar groans out making me almost instantly start cumming all over Oscar's cock while I can feel him filling up my pussy with his cum. As we are both coming down from our high we are both startled by a lock punding on the door.
*KNOCK KNOCK*
"Are you horny fucks in there?" We hear Lando shout from the other side of the bathroom making us look at each other in the mirror before busting out laughing.
#formula 1#f1#f1 imagine#f1 x you#formula 1 x you#formula one imagines#oscar piastri fanfic#oscar piastri#formula one#oscar piastri x you#oscar piastri imagine#oscar piastri smut#op81#op81 imagine#op81 fic#op81 x reader#op81 smut#op81 x you#op81 x y/n
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âđ Can I Get Your Number? âđ Ch 1
Jason Todd x Chubby! Reader (fem) A/N: I don't know what I'm doing here, I'm not even much of a DC fan, but Jason Todd has quickly become my latest hyper fixation character (Harley Quinn too, do I just have a thing for Joker victims???) so ... thank you for giving me a place to put this energy I guess! đ I'm not super confident on the characterizations, but I'm going with it because I like it. If it's wildly ooc ... that tracks, given that the only DC comic I've read is Batman: Wayne Family Adventures. Read it, or don't, I just needed to get the thoughts out of my head. The art doesn't belong to me, but the writing does. Please do not post elsewhere!
written with a female reader in mind, first person pov, no use of Y/N, starting out fluffy, will probably get NSFW later so minors DNI, let me know if there's anything else I should tag this with!
word count: 1.7k
Chapter Selection
In a city known for its masked fighters, you learn pretty quickly that everyone and everything is a potential threat. Every approaching stranger on the street, every loud sound behind you, every dark alleyway. Being bigger than me certainly isn't a prerequisite to being a danger, but it does have a way of setting off my mental alarms. I've found that big men are used to getting their way, and they get all sorts of bent out of shape if you deny them their wishes. Especially when they think they're doing you a favor.
It died down a bit after high school; I learned to exist in public with âfuck offâ stamped across my face. Headphones on, reading a book, intentionally seated at the table furthest from the other cafe patrons. All the typical signs of someone who wants to be left alone; nothing about me said âplease come talk to me'. So I was understandably on edge when I noticed someone standing by the chair across from me. I look up just a bit, gesturing to the chair with a nod. Silent consent to take it back to his table and leave me to my book.
No such luck. The man simply smiled and mimed taking headphones off. Putting a bored look on my face, I moved one off my ear. â... Hm?â
âHi! I'm sorry to bother you, but my brother thinks you're really beautiful and is refusing to come tell you himself.âÂ
I could feel my expression turning to stone. â... What is this, middle school?â
His cheerful grin faltered ever so slightly; âhey, I know it's a bit silly, but he's awkward around cute girls, so what's a brother to do, ya know?â
I stared him down; â... You're not fooling anyone. Move on.â
â... Sorry, âfooling anyoneâ?â
âItâs not funny, itâs not even hurtful the 20th time, it's just annoying. Go. Away.â It was a lie; it was always painful to be on the receiving end of these pranks. But that was what these guys wanted, so I wasn't going to tell him that. My headphones back in place, the guy slunk away.
Ten minutes later, another person was standing by the chair. I pretended not to see him, continuing to read my book, until he plopped down in the seat. I looked up slowly and he smiled, another oddly warm smile, leaning forward on his elbows.
An incredibly put-out sigh later, I slid the headphones off one ear again. âWhat?â
âHi, I'm Tim! I'm not sure what exactly my brother said to you, but I wanted to let you know - we're not trying to prank you or something. Our brother is just way too awkward with girls. It's painful to watch, really, so we figured we'd give him a hand.â He spoke much too fast for me to get a word in. I blinked a bit, raising an eyebrow.
â... You frat boys are really committing to the bit these days, huh?â
âHuh? No, really, I promise!â
My headphones were nearly back into place when a child showed up. His impatient expression matched how I felt about the whole situation. âAs usual, Drake, your plans are far too convoluted to be effective. Watch and learn.â
He turned to me, nothing about his demeanor changing; âhello. Todd said we shouldn't bother you because you âclearly want to be aloneâ, but I am convinced the only way to stop their nonsense is if he comes over. May he have a moment of your time?â
Frowning a little, I stared at the kid. He stared right back, neither of us blinking for a solid minute as we sussed each other out. His expression barely changed, but the boredom in his eyes turned into determination. â... Well, you're definitely not a frat boy. So I'll make you a deal; you may report back that he has permission to come say hi. If he doesn't choose to, that's the end of this little charade. And if either of themâ I gestured to the one sitting at my table; âcomes back over here, I start stabbing. Got it?â
The boy nodded once, and I thought I saw a ghost of a smirk. âYou have my word.â He dragged the other man out of the chair by his shirt, pulling him stumbling toward their table. That was when I saw him. The only person at their table who hadn't come over yet. Even hunched over the table he was enormous, probably close to six feet tall; exactly the kind of man I typically avoided. The kid spoke sharply, pointing in my direction, and his head shot up to look in my direction. Even from across the spacious patio, I could see his face turning red. The obnoxious, cocky smirk I was expecting to see was entirely missing; instead he seemed almost confused.
Headphones back on but turned off so I could hear if he approached, I returned to my book. But I only got through a few pages before the first one shouted; âand offer to get her another coffee or something!â
I looked over to see the tall one frozen halfway between our tables, a look on his face like he was considering jumping over the patio fence to get away. His demeanor reminded me of a lost puppy, and I couldn't help the chuckle that rose up out of my throat. I bookmarked my page, set the book aside, and slid my headphones down around my neck. I really thought he was about to bolt until I lifted one hand, curling my fingers to gesture for him to continue toward me.
He stopped short by a good several feet, eyeing the distance between himself and the chair, and took one extra step back. It seemed as if he was hyper aware of just how much he loomed over me; the way he stood was like he was trying to will himself to be smaller, and he kept his hands at his sides. âUm ⌠hi. ⌠Sorry, this is ⌠this is really weird âŚâ
I nodded, watching him. âIt is a bit. ⌠Todd, was it?â
âJay⌠Jason.â
âNot Todd?â
âJason Todd. Damian calls me Todd, he thinks using people's last names keeps them at an arm's lengthâŚâ Jason Todd. The name felt familiar, but I couldn't place why. He continued to ramble about how important tone was in determining whether this Damian kid was referring to you with affection or disdain, and I watched him. He was admittedly very cute; he had a sort of a bad boy aesthetic -leather jacket, dark clothes, a white streak in his hair, some unusual scars on his face and arms-, which juxtaposed interestingly with the gentleness in his voice, bright eyes, and awkward mannerisms. That was actually the thing that made the most sense about this situation; bikers are often secret teddy bears.
â... Jason?â
He looked up at me, one hand sheepishly making its way into his hair. âYeah, sorry, you want me to go. I'll get them to stop harassing you, so sorry-â
âActually, I was going to say you don't have to stand the whole time.â I gestured to the chair across from me.
He hesitated, watching me. â... Y- you don't want me to go?â
I smiled softly and shook my head. âSit?â
He quickly obeyed, a hesitant smile on his face, which was almost immediately hidden by his hand when his brothers whooped from their table. â... God, I'm so sorry ⌠th- they mean well, really, they're not trying to be weird âŚâ
I laughed softly, âit's fine, that's what siblings do, right?â
â... I guess so ⌠I've been sort of ⌠away for a while, but I guess this is pretty standard sibling behavior. ⌠Right?â
âI mean, a little more insistent than mine, but not too far outside the realm of what Iâd consider normal.â I shrugged, finishing my chai latte.
He smiled slightly, considering that. â... Hm ⌠um ⌠c- can I get you another?â He gestured to my cup.
â... Sure, I've got time.â
The pleased grin on his face as he looked away to flag down a server surprised me. Then again, everything about him was surprising. Still, no one had ever looked at me quite like that beforeâŚÂ
The server sauntered over, clearly curious about my new companion. Jason smiled brightly; âHi, can we get another for the lady? And I'll have a medium black coffee, sweet, please.â
Huh. He called me a âladyâ. Not a girl, or a chick, a lady. That was ⌠also surprising. We chatted for a little while, sipping our coffees, and tried to ignore his staring brothers. He was incredibly awkward, in a sweet, endearing way. I got the impression that he wasn't fully comfortable, but chalked it up to how weirdly this all started. After a while, the first one returned, a small grimace on his face.
I raised an eyebrow; âI'm pretty sure I told the little one that the next one of you to come over was getting stabbed.â
âI know, I know! I'm so sorry, but Jay, we gotta go. Bruce textedâŚâ
That was when it clicked; why I knew the name Jason Todd. He was a Wayne ⌠his death had dominated the news cycle for a week. His miraculous, frankly poorly explained, return was the story for at least two.
He looked, torn, between me and his brother. âOh ⌠um âŚâ
The man I finally recognized as Dick Grayson leaned forward and fake-whispered, âthe words you're looking for are âcan I have your phone number'?â
Jason swatted him away, blushing bright red; âSeriously, Dick? ⌠well, can I-â
His ears were turning red as I held my hand out for his phone. I added my contact info and, feeling unusually bold, I added âđ after my name while Jason dropped a couple of bills on the table; I smiled a bit, realizing he was leaving enough to cover my first drink for me too. I passed his phone back, enjoying the look of wonder on his face when he checked the screen. The way he whispered my name, like a prayer meant only for god's ears, had my stomach doing backflips.
âthanks ⌠I'll call you?â
âSounds good. I'm a night owl, so not too early, yeah?â
He nodded eagerly. âNot too early, promise.â
Next ->
#fanfic#fanfiction#red hood x reader#jason todd x reader#dc fanfic#wayne family adventures#chubby reader#awkward reader#dick grayson being a good brother#fluff#no y/n#jason todd#jason todd is awkward and adorable#i love him so much#seriously it's not even funny#dc robin#batfam#batfamily#red hood#first person pov#Can I Get Your Number?
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bsf!rafe and reader miss each other
warnings: angst aka the one where rafe is in the doghouse. i wanted to try and write a bit of a dual-pov situation of the time after reader ended things, it's a bit experimental for me but i hope it's still enjoyable! this might be a bit melancholic but eh (also i baked two whole pies today let's go baker era i live alone idek what to do with em)
when you were hooking up rafe, every moment without him felt empty. like he completed you. that was partially what made you continue on with him for so long; you were worried that if he wasn't in your life, you'd constantly walk around with this hole in your chest, like a part of you was missing.
but you found that after you ended things, he wasn't the only thing on your mind all the time. sure, you missed him, but what you missed wasn't the sex, or even the almost-romantic part of your relationship, but his friendship. you missed the boy you told all your secrets to, the one who'd been your shoulder to cry on for as long as you could remember. but a part of you wasn't completely sure if that boy even existed anymore.
you knew that the boy who'd passed notes with you all throughout your middle school and high school years wouldn't do what he did to you. or the boy who let you stay at his house whenever your parents argued, and stay up with you trying to comfort you.
when you had been involved with him, you never told anyone; when your friends asked you where you always disappeared off to, you said you were just 'meeting up with a guy' and none of them really cared enough to pry, and only after did it end did you realize how shallow most of your friendships felt. none of them even noticed when you'd shut yourself away, or the fact that you started to distance yourself from everyone.
except for one.
one friday evening, the doorbell rang and you forced yourself to go open the door, only for it to reveal vivian, someone who you'd pretty much known since kindergarten, holding up two bottles of wine. "i'm not gonna leave before you tell me what's wrong with you." she said, and even though you knew she'd probably judge you for everything that went down, you also knew you couldn't hold onto it all.
and so the two of you ended up laying on your bed, drinking straight out of the bottle, with you recounting the whole story to her, without vivian interrupting you even once. and even though it was only one person, it made all the difference in the world.
"jesus, what a dick!" was the only thing he said when you were done, the two of you bursting into laughter.
but as time went by, you slowly started to miss him less and less, and as the marks he had littered all around your body started to fade, so did your longing for him.
sometimes you'd see him when you were out; it was mostly at the country club, or whenever one of your friends had convinced you to come to a party, and to let loose. but whenever you saw him, you never said a word to each other, you never even smiled. but for a brief moment, as you stared at one another across the room, it was as if it was just the two of you, lying on the floor of his living room, surrounded by beer bottles and used plastic cups, remnants of yet another party.
but as soon as one of you looked away, the moment faded away, like you two had never known each other. it was like he was never your first love.
and before you knew it, summer had come to an end, it had been three months since the night you ended things with him, the sky above you turning grey as you sat on the dock in front of your house with your feet in the cold water, when your phone started ringing, and for the first time in three months...
incoming call... rafe
and as you wondered what to do, a raindrop fell over the green circle displayed on your phone, as if telling you what to do, and so you took your phone into your hand, chewing on your bottom lip as you were thinking of whether to accept or decline.
to say that he wasn't good when it came to emotions and feelings would be an understatement when talking about rafe. most of the time the only thing he allowed himself to feel was anger, and so, when you walked out of the bathroom, the only thing he could do was stare at that locket, and even though he wanted to be angry, to start punching the bathroom sink until his hand broke, he couldn't. all he could do was stare at that damn locket, feeling like someone had punched all the air out of his lungs, like there just wasn't any anger left in him.
the day after you ended things with rafe, he broke up with sofia. for the next week the only thing he did was drink just to get the thoughts of you out of his head. for the week after that, all he did was think about you.
you needed your space, but he knew that every sunday you spent the afternoons playing tennis with one of your friends; so every sunday he'd drag his friends there on the premise of playing golf, just to get a glimpse of you; and unlike him, you looked fine, like nothing had ever happened between the two of you. he'd go out to any party he got wind of, just in case you showed up.
and whenever you noticed rafe's presence, when you looked straight at him, it was like the emptiness that had been in his chest since that night was slowly going away, like it was that night when you slept in his arms when he whispered "i love you." into your ear, hoping to god that you wouldn't hear, and now, the only thing he wished was for you to hear it even though he couldn't say it. but whenever you looked away from him, that emptiness came back.
rafe rarely drew anymore, not since he started working with his father, but now he found himself sketching images he had carved into his memory, ones of you sleeping in his bed, his sheets pulled up to cover your chest while your hair covered a good part of your face, ones with that look on your face when your face was flushed from alcohol when you were trying your hardest to find the words you were looking for when you were chattering about something you were passionate about.
and the next three months went in a cycle of drinking or throwing himself into the family business to forget about you, or finally giving in and thinking about you with that locket held in his large hand, and whenever he saw you, the more alright you seemed, and he kept wondering if that'd ever happen to him.
he was sitting in the office that formerly belonged to his father, his jaw clenched as he stared at your contact image, a picture of you petting a stray cat that lived around the island, obsessing over your contact something he'd been doing a lot lately, as if daring himself to call you. but before he could, he'd dropped his phone down onto the desk, rubbing his palms over his face with a deep sigh, telling himself to just focus on his work.
but rafe was drawn out of his thoughts of a familiar ringing, of one telling you that you were calling someone. and when he pulled his hands away from his eyes, they landed on his phone calling a familiar number.
and before he could hang up and pretend it never happened, the call was connected, and a soft voice on the other side simply said,
"rafe?"
#outer banks#rafe cameron#rafe cameron x reader#outer banks fanfiction#rafe fanfiction#outerbanks rafe#rafe outer banks#rafe x reader#rafe x you#rafe fic#rafe cameron obx#rafe cameron imagine#rafe imagine#rafe cameron fanfiction#obx fic#obx fanfiction#obx fandom#obx#rafe obx#drew starkey x reader#drew starkey
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Renewed Passion (Lewis Hamilton x Reader)
Summary- What happens when you meet your right person, wrong time after 18 years of actively avoiding him? Will the love that stayed dormant bloom in full spring or stay dormant? Will you give your heart a chance or will you listen to your brain?
I wanted to make this as cohesive as possible. Sorry if it's not. Google translated Italian. Kinda fucking long lmao. Implied smut.
Part 2
mio dolce bambino- my sweet child
Amore- Love
Il moroso- Sweetheart
[Reader's POV]
I opened the door to my neighbours house and walked right into the kitchen. Manuela was making pasta. It was our traditional bi-annual movie night with the Antonelli's. Our families have been neighbours and friends for generations. Me and Manuela had grown closer after she married Marco, so close in fact, that she made me Andrea's god mother when he was born.
Speak of the devil, Andrea walked into the kitchen and greeted me with a kiss on the cheek. Andrea was on track to becoming a F1 driver. He had the passion and drive in him. I've watched him race a couple times. But I try to keep my distance from race tracks. "I missed you, zia" Kimi exclaimed. I smiled at him patting his back, "aww, I missed you too" "I wouldn't have, if you came to the race." he pouted. "Everyone had come. It was literally the home race and you didn't" he sulked. "I'm sorry sweetheart. I just had a lot of work" I reasoned while giving him a hug. The real reason I didn't go to the race wasn't work and it made me feel like a shitty aunt for not being there for this kid, I considered my own.
"Toto and the Mercedes team met me, again." Kimi announced. I looked at him quizzically. "If you had been present in your nephew's life, you would know." he chided. I apologised and asked him to elaborate. "Well, Toto needs another driver on the grid for Mercedes." he said. "Oh, does Lewis need a new teammate." I asked. "For someone who's nephew is a F2 driver, you know nothing about the sport." he declared. "You know I don't enjoy sports." I reasoned. Actually I stopped watching F1 after 2007. "Actually, Lewis is moving to Ferrari next year, so Toto needs another driver next year with Russel." I was shocked. "Zia, are you listening?" Kimi asked. "Oh, yeah, sorry." I apologised. "You have to come to the Monaco race." he demanded. "You know I'm so busy and I don't even get the race, it'll be so annoying for you." I tried to convince him. He was having none of that. Sadly, I was emotionally black mailed into attending the race in Monaco.
The race weekend was in full swing, Manuela was busy and couldn't make it, so I had to be present for the whole weekend with Marco. Formula one were honouring Ayrton Senna. I was forced by Kimi on to the paddock. With my luck, I almost immediately ran into Sebastian as Kimi left me alone to greet his friends. "Y/N?" Sebastian squinted at me. I smiled and walked towards him, raising my hand with a smile, "Yeah, that's me, Sebastian." I said. He shook my hand. "It's been so long, when did I last see you?" he asked, getting lost in thought. "Macau Grand Prix, 2005" I said. His eyes widened. "I'm surprised, you even recognised me." I laughed. "I don't think I can forget, you and Lewis were insufferable. Both of you made sure we felt lonely." he reminisced. I faked a laugh, "Yeah, that was so long ago. How've you been?" I asked trying to change the topic. "I've been good. I retired." he said. "I heard. That was a good run." I nodded along to my words. "What brings you here?" he quizzed. "My god-son is a F2 racer. He dragged me here." I replied. "Really?? Who is it? Do I know him?" he questioned. "I'm not sure if you do, but Kimi Antonelli is my god-son." I explained. "The 17 year old Toto is after." he chuckled. "It was nice meeting you. See you around Y/N" Sebastian said while leaving after being summoned.
I walked around the paddock. This was my first time in Monaco. I had been able to avoid most of Kimi's races when he was younger since he would believe whatever I said. As he grew older, it kept getting even more difficult since he is quite persistent and tenacious when he wants something; traits you want in a racer not your nephew.
I enjoyed the cool wind blowing through the paddock until I heard Kimi, "Zia" he shouted out to me. I turned around to see Kimi running towards me, "I want you to meet someone." he said dragging me to where he came from. We stopped in front of the man I spent the past 18 years avoiding. "Zia, this is Lewis Hamilton. Lewis this is my god-mother, Y/N Y/L/N." he introduced us. Lewis was always and will always be the love of my life. I kept up with the sport enough to know what he did. Eventually, I stopped obsessing over it. He slowly faded into my memories. He was the reason I never paid any attention to F1. I avoided it as much as possible. He was my right person, wrong place. I never truly moved on from him, I mulled over my thoughts as I was snapped out of them to quickly raise my hand towards him. He shook my hand. It was still slightly rough from all the years of driving; tears pricked my eyes.
Kimi couldn't stop gushing about me to Lewis. His eyes seemed so familiar yet so unknown. The years had treated him well, having won the World Driver's Championship 7 times and ageing like fine wine; I thought. I had lost track of what the conversation in front of me was until Kimi excused himself and asked me to keep Lewis company till he returned. My mouth hung open to protest as Kimi walked away. "You'll catch a fly, darling." Lewis said while using his index finger to close my mouth. I moved back from the sudden touch. "Do you still hate me?" he asked with a pained expression. I could never hate you Lewis, those words remained in my throat. "No" I mumbled. "That's a relief. I hope you only remember the good times." he stated hopefully. I just smiled at him. "I should get going" I announced, turning around until I felt a hand wrapped around my wrists, "Aren't you supposed to be in the Mercedes hospitality" he asked softly. I hated it when he was right. I turned around with a forced smile; "It's my first time in Monaco, I gonna walk around for a bit." I said pulling my hand away from him. "Then I can walk with you, since I've been living here for years" he exclaimed. "If I wanted to walk around with my ex, I would've said so." I stated firmly; walking away swiftly. This was going to be a long weekend.
After walking around for a while and tiring myself out, I met up with Marco who was in deep conversation with Toto. Both of them greeted me and Marco introduced me to Toto. I was a casual spectator in on their conversation when Lewis joined in. Marco knew of the history me and Lewis shared, he would be on the receiving end of my pining. They must've ran into each other at some point; did he never mention me? or Ask about me to Lewis; I wondered. "You look bored" broke me out of my thought, Lewis's lips extremely close to my ear. I shifted to the side, almost falling from losing my balance.I braced my self for the impact that never came, strong arms enveloped me, pulling me close. Time slowed as I found myself locked in gaze with my saviour. I could feel his breath against my face; a sense of warmth spread though my stomach. "You okay" he murmured softly. It was like time had stopped. My eyes slowly darted to the two other men in front of; I quickly pushed Lewis away and straightened myself. "I'm fine. Thank you for catching me. I'm gonna go get some water" I rambled, excusing myself to the refreshments. I almost sprinted to the table, grabbing a bottle; when Lewis took it from me and handed me back an opened bottle. "Still as clumsy as I remember" Lewis chuckled. I gulped the water down. This was not how I imagined ever running into my ex. Let's hope the weekend ends without any more trouble.
I was ready to leave mid-way through the day, but Kimi had a tight hold on my arm as he took me along to introduce me to his friends. I had brought some cookies and treats as a present for the other boys. They all seemed quite well mannered, I must say, for a bunch of teenager. Even when me and Lewis dated, it was like we had magnets attached to us, we'd always be gravitating towards each other. My eyes met Lewis's for a split second before I brought my attention back to Oliver Bearmen, a good friend of Kimi's.
Flashback
"Come on, Y/N. I don't wanna go alone." Mia, my roommate moaned. "Then don't go" I chided. The look of shock on her face was priceless. "Those tickets were fucking expensive and you said you'd do anything for me." she pleaded. "yeah, anything means anything around the house. You know I don't even like racing, it's so" I stopped looking for a better word but none came to mind "boring" I continued. "You did not just say that" she replied in disbelief. That's how I ended up at a Formula Renault UK race in Silverstone in 2003.
Mia had gotten us good seats, I decided to find some snacks to entertain me during the race so I excused myself to the stands to grab something. On the way there, I ran into a man. I braced myself for the fall instead two arms wrapped themselves around my waist steading me and pulling me closer. I opened my eyes to be face to face with a pair of chocolate brown eyes. My heart lurched into my chest. "You okay" he asked. "I'm fine" I replied still in his arms. "As much as I would love to have you in my arms, I have some where to be" he stated. Embarrassed, I fixed myself up. "Thank you..." I looked at him expectantly to say his name. "Lewis, Lewis Hamilton" he replied extending his arm out. "Thank you, Lewis. Y/N" I said while shaking his hand. "You're here for the race, right?" he asked. "Sadly, yes" I responded. A playful smile played across lips at the answer, "well then, let's meet after it's done?" he asked hopefully. "Sure, at least I have something to look forward too" I smiled. "I'll try to make the race eventful" he called out as he ran away.
I didn't know the guy I ran into was a racer. Only found that out when he won the race and was called on the podium. I decided to return to the same place we had the collision, in hopes of running into him again. I waited around until I heard someone call out my name; there stood a very sweaty and wreaked of champaign Lewis. "Congratulations" I commented. "Thank you" he replied. "Didn't take you for a racer" I cocked my eyebrow at him. "Did you like the race?" he asked with a cocky grin on his face. "Not really" I chuckled. "Well I can make it up to you, if you would like me to" he questioned. "And how would you do that?" I asked. "Go on a date with me" he asked with the softest and brightest eyes. "You drive a hard bargain, Mr Hamilton" I replied. I acted like I was thinking before I agreed to go out with him.
Present time
"Earth to zia, you there?" Kimi asked. "Yeah, what were you boys saying, again?" I asked. "Do you have a crush on Lewis?" he whispered in my ear. "What?" I almost screamed. "You've been staring at him the whole time we were talking" he pointed out. Fuck, that's gonna be so embarrassing for me. "You know, he is single and your age. Do you want me to ask him for you?" he wiggled his eyebrows at me. "No no, I just got lost in thought." God, this is going to be tough. "Zia, look he's coming here. Act natural." Before I could comprehend what he meant, I was being greeted by Lewis for the third time today. Can this day end already? "You still find races boring?" he whispered in my ear. I pushed him away, Kimi was staring. "Yes, I hate races" I stated boldly. "Maybe I can change your mind." he teased. "No, thank you. If you will excuse me. Bambino" I tapped Kimi's shoulder, "I'm gonna go get something to eat. Would you like anything?" He said he didn't want anything so I left to get some food.
The day ended with me thankfully no longer running into Lewis anymore. But I did enjoy watching Kimi during free practise. He finished P8 and I consoled him by saying that they were just figuring stuff out and how everything worked. He seemed to cheer up and we ended up having dinner at a restaurant near by. The city was lit up with the hustle and bustle of the race. I saw a couple more racers and people asking for their autograph. I teased Kimi about forgetting me when he's a formula one driver and being too rich and famous for me. He looked appalled at the suggestion. The night came to a close with us back in our rooms and back in bed but sleep wasn't going to come to me this easy.
Flashback
Lewis was finally back from the races. Following him around was proving itself to be quite challenging while being a full time uni student. I decided to make the most of the little time we had together by dragging him around to an arcade, to the mall and lastly my couch so that we could watch Finding Nemo. Lewis was willing to entertain all my childish demands, I realised. We were cuddled up together, our legs intertwined, one of Lewis's hand was under my head and the other rubbing my hand. "You're distracting me, Amore" I muttered. "Pay attention to me them" he pouted. I turned my head around and pecked his lips, slowly turning my body around to face him. I cupped his cheeks; "I missed you" I mumbled against his lips, kissing him again. He pulled me closer by my waist, deepening the kiss. "I missed you too" he whispered against my neck as he left open mouth kisses down to my chest. His hand squeezed my ass, while his lips started suck on one spot. He pushed me against the sofa and took his shirt off in one swift motion.
Present Time
Okay, I need to stop thinking about Lewis, especially naked Lewis. This isn't helping my situation at all. Why am I acting like a teenager? This was starting to get humiliating for me.
After a troubled sleep, morning seem to come very late. I was pulled out of bed by Kimi who was very annoyed that I was still in bed. I quickly got dressed and met Kimi back at the paddock. I spent the whole day following Marco around like a lost puppy. I didn't even see Lewis the whole day. I guess the schedules don't match for F1 and F2. Part of me hoped to see him. I found myself searching the paddock for him. At the end of day I returned back to the hotel heartbroken.
Sunday was my last day in Monaco, Kimi did okay at the sprint. I congratulated him none the less. We decided to go out for dinner and it would be my treat. "I just wanted to do well, for you" Kimi sulked. "You did well, sweetheart. I'm so proud of you. You've come so far, mio dolce bambino" I said giving him a hug and pat on his back. I told him to rest and then we'll head out for dinner. I was looking for Marco to confirm the plan with him, when I saw Lewis, who looked visibly annoyed. "Hey" I waved at him. I saw him visibly relax and wave back at me. I found myself walking towards him, "Everything okay?" I asked. "Yeah, it's nothing. Just team issues" he huffed. "Sorry about that. I hope you can resolve it" I reassured. "Is this why you're moving to Ferrari, next year?" I questioned. "You know" he looked shocked. I laughed, "Kind of hard to miss, when Toto is actively pursuing my god-son." I chucked. "One of the reasons" he added. "Well, I hope you find success" I smiled at him. "Can I hug you?" he asked hopefully. I nodded and opened my arms for him, he found himself wrapping his arms around my waist. The sensation was so familiar, it didn't feel like we were hugging after 18 years. I started rubbing his back, whispering reassurances.
"How long are you here for?" he asked while pulling away from the hug. "I'll leave tomorrow morning." I replied. "You live in Italy?" he queried. I nodded. "Stay, for a few more days. I just, I've missed you" he announced. I bit my lip, "Do you remember why we broke up?" Lewis seemed to think for a moment.
Flashback
"Il moroso" I croaked, my voice hoarse from the screaming match we were having. "No, Y/N I don't get it. Why is it so hard for you to be there for me? It's the least I can ask for?" Lewis yelled. We had been going back and forth, I was in my third year of university and going to all his races while trying to pass the semester and doing an internship was proving to be difficult. It had put a strain on our relationship. He was only in the junior championships and required travelling a lot, I couldn't imagine how much he would be travelling once he was a formula one driver. I hadn't been to a race in a couple months and it was not something I was able to do as often as Lewis wished with the time and financial constraint. In all of this Lewis had seemed to forget that I had a life of my own that I was trying to build while in a foreign country trying to pursue my bachelors.
"Love, you know I can't make it to all the races" I reasoned. "Well, the others can. Some how you're the only one who is so fucking busy" he emphasised. I let out a sigh trying to calm myself down. "I really wanna be there for you Lew, but it's just not possible right now. I landed the best interning job for my degree. It'll help me with my future" I justified. "Your job is more important than me" he probed. I could feel the tears ready to fall, "No, it's not. But you're acting like yours is" I explained. He let out a strained laugh, "Just say it, you don't care about me" "You're putting words in my mouth" I argued. "There are no words to be put, when that's how you feel" he taunted. I ran a hand through my hair, almost pulling at my scalp; "Damn it, Lewis, I fucking love you and I want to be there for you. But you are behaving like a child" I called out. "If I am such a child, then break up with me" he snarled. We had fought before but never like this. We never even joked about breaking up. "I just want to support you and watch you succeed. But that doesn't mean I'll get to do that beside you at all time, I have a life of my own too, you know" I tried to reason with him. "I will succeed, whether I have you around or not. I can't be with someone who can't prioritise me" he said. I faked a laugh, "Ha, says the guy who can't see past his stupid cars, you know what Lewis, I hope you succeed, I truly do. But I also hope you miss me and yearn for the woman that supported you through so much every time you succeed." I declared. "Now, leave my fucking house. We're through" I shouted while pushing him out before my tears started to fall.
I spent the next few days crying, moping around, eating a shit ton of ice cream and having Marco console me. That man really heard me pine and crib for months. The only time I was truly happy during those sad months was Andrea's birth and being asked to be his god-mother. I took those duties very seriously. That kid helped me move on from my first adult relationship and heart break.
Present Day
I've dated multiple men after Lewis, but no one stuck. I never even settled down because deep down my heart was still stuck on him. I kept up with Lewis's life until I graduated and slowly lost the time to keep up with formula one. When I heard he had won his first world championship, I was in London, working at my 9-5 when my colleague ran to me to announce that a Brit was the latest world champion. I saw his face plastered on the news and felt some sort of relief, watching him succeed like he said he would. I had almost forgotten about it all, until Kimi joined the Mercedes drivers academy. I had kept my space from all his races after he transitioned to single seat racing.
"You know what you said, the day we broke up, came true" he uttered. I gazed inquisitively. "About me succeeding, but missing you" he stated. I looked at him in disbelief for a moment, before the words came back to me, I placed a hand on my chest in shock, "I didn't mean" I said before I was cut off by "I know you didn't. But I did miss you a lot whenever I won a race or for that matter my championships." he smiled at me, reminiscing all those moments. I smiled at him sadly. "I'm sorry for ruining your wins" I mumbled. "You didn't ruin them. But" he said with a glimmer in his eyes, "there's a way you can make it up to me" I peered at him with uncertainty. "Go on a date with me" he said. "Lewis" I responded. "Y/N" he replied. "You remember why we broke up, I still have a job that I love and my life has really worked out in my favour" I commented. "So do I. However, you can not" he stressed, "cannot hold what I said at 21 against me." he announced. I ruminated on that thought for a moment, "Ok, but this is your last chance." "Love, do you take me for a fool? I would never let this opportunity go. I'll never repeat the mistakes of my past, I promise" he said while holding both my hands in his. I leaned in and pecked his cheek. "I'll stay back in Monaco for a couple more days. This is your chance to convince me why I should date you?" I stated. "You'll know that you want me in a couple of hours." he grinned. "Don't get too cocky Mr Hamilton" I smirked. He just leaned in with his breath fanning my skin, "Can I kiss you, darling?" he requested. "You gotta earn it, Hamilton" I teased. "I've waited for so long for this" he mumbled. "Then you can wait a little longer" I giggled. I felt a pair of hands against my waist. "I could've if you weren't this close" he said with our lips almost touching, he intently eyed them. "Maybe one won't hurt" I thought loudly, my resolve breaking. "Thought so" he chuckled, while leaning in to kiss me.
I might do a part 2, but like if you guys want one. I know where I want to go with this, if i write another part. If you like this lemme know, it'll encourage me to write the next part then thank you for reading!! Hope you liked it!!
#f1 fanfic#f1 fic#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#f1 x you#lewis hamilton#lewis hamilton x reader#lewis hamilton imagine#lewis hamilton fanfic#lewis hamilton x you#lewis hamilton fluff#lewis hamilton angst#second chance romance#kimi antonelli#formula one x reader#formula one imagine#formula one x you#formula one fanfiction#formula one x y/n#formula 1 x reader#formula 1 imagine#formula 1 fic#formula 1 fanfic#formula 1 x you#formula 1 x y/n
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My dearest friend and enemy (2)
PART 2 | Fernando Alonso x Reader
Summary: You and Fernando always dreamed of the day you'd get into Formula 1. Unfortunately, the competition, the pride and the stubborness, get in the way of a beautiful friendship.
Word count: 7.1k
Tags: female!reader, driver reader, coming of age, ups and downs of a friendship, brocedes coded, very very angsty, cursing, anger, fights, overuse of flavio briatore as a plot device, lots of low blows, sprinkles of romance, kissing, making out, happy ending, not beta read
Relationship: Fernando Alonso x Reader
Note: Someone requested this, with this very detailed request, and it has consumed my every thought for the past week or two. I had to tweak some things from the request here and there, hope it's ok. It's heavily inspired by brocedes. (There is a lot of info that is wrong or inaccurate, I did this on purpose to fit my narrative, if you catch them, please ignore)
I was wondering doing a bonus part about Fernando POV throughout everything (to show he was ALSO miserable), but I don't know if i have the time and energy for it. Let me know if you guys would be interested in it and I'll do it in headcanons/topics.
I'm sorry if it feels rushed, this was taking way too long and I just wanted to follow my heart. Feedback and opinions are appreciated xx
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PART 1 | FERNANDO'S HEADCANONS
You were moping and crying in the living room when the phone started ringing. Looking at the little screen that showed the number that was calling, you knew it was Fernando. You had memorized his number at some point in your lifetime. Your parents werenât home, so you hesitated. You took so long that his call went to voicemail.
âI know youâre there,â he said, voice sounding tired, low and inpatient, âplease pick up the-â
You pulled the phone cable, unplugging the call and silencing him. Wiping your tears, you stared at the unplugged phone on the little side table for what felt like hours, until your parents returned from work, when you got up to plug the phone back and pretend like you didnât spend the whole day mourning a friendship you always thought would last forever.
After two days ignoring all calls, even Flavioâs, you decided that youâd shield yourself from now on, and you wouldnât give Fernando any more ammo to hurt you. You met with Flavio at the next race, face heavy with makeup to cover up the sleepless nights you had gone through. You put your bag down and stared at Flavio across the table.
âGood morning. Letâs go back to work,â you said, gently pulling the stack of papers from his grasp. He called your name in that tone, of someone wanting a heart to heart.
âWe should talk about the f-â He started but you cut him off.
âNo, I donât want to talk about that,â you said.
âI talked to Fernando and he-â
âI said, I donât want to talk about it. Heâs dead to me.â You repeated slowly, finally looking up at him. Flavio mustâve seen something in your eyes because he let the topic go.
You didnât see Fernando for two more days, and when the weekend officially started, you avoided him like the plague. Even when you two were in the same place with other drivers, youâd ignore his existence for the most part. Whenever you were in a little circle chatting with other drivers and he arrived, youâd leave immediately. Press conference, you convinced Jenson to switch places with you so you could be as far from Fernando as possible. Even with team debriefs, with Flavio trying to make you talk to Fernando, you refused.
The rest of the season was insane, during team meetings and debriefs you were cold and barely talked to him. He didnât try to talk to you either, and the silent distance only grew.
You were head to head in a race, you were P2 and Fernando P3 right behind you.
âSwitch with Fernando,â your engineer said on the radio.
âHe wonât fucking pass me,â you said into the radio, holding your position and pace. He was less than a second behind, and you refused to let him pass.
âI repeat, let him pass,â That was Flavio.
âIf he manages to overtake me, he can go.â
He didnât. You knew you had more pace, but still he insisted, and through the mirrors, you could see him closing in behind you. He tried to overtake but you pushed the car fast, and when he couldnât anymore, he turned into you, touching his front right tyre to your rear left tyre. You were too fast. The mere touch of his tyre bursted yours. You couldnât even get angry as you lost control of the car in a millisecond, the speed making your car fly into the air as it hit the gravel. With your car overturning a few times in the air, you watched your sight going ground, sky, ground, sky, ground, sky.
Then you blacked out.
When you woke up, you were on a stretcher being placed carefully inside the ambulance, you tried to get up, dizzy and someone handed you a bag where you threw up inside.
You had an insane headache as they took you to the medical center. Apparently, everything else was alright as you checked your own body for any injuries or problems. The doctor checked you but still made you through a round of tests and injected saline solution diluted with pain medicine in an IV drip. They also decided youâd stay overnight to make sure nothing was wrong.Â
Your dad, who was watching from the garage, was the first to find you in the medical center, visibly worried and crying. He hugged you for a whole minute, before taking a step back and touching your face to make sure you were really alright.
âIâm ok, PapĂĄ. Just passed out when the car was spinning in the air,â You smiled softly, wanting to dissipate his worry.
âWhen you didnât answer the radio-â He choked back tears.
âItâs ok, Iâm ok now.â
âWhat are you feeling, darling?â He pressed, holding your hands to look for injuries in your arms.
âIâm all in one piece, PapĂĄ. Just a little sore, but thatâs normal whenever a racing driver crashes,â you let him know, and he nodded.
âLet me just call your mother. She was so worried she wanted to get into the first flight here,â He told you.
âTell her Iâm alright and I love her,â you whispered and he nodded, going outside.
You sighed as you were left alone, trying to find a comfortable position where you didnât have to move too much, since your whole body felt like it had been run over by a truck. The door opened and you thought it was Flavio, but you were faced with Fernando, still sweaty and in his overalls. He looked disheveled, but he was full of worry, even his eyes looked a little misty as he stood there a few meters from you.
But you couldnât look past the anger when the memory of him diving into your car came back. He had gambled with your life, out of pettiness, out of envy, he couldnât pass you, so he decided the next best thing was to take you out, not even caring about the danger he was putting you through.
âLeave.â You said, with gritted teeth.
âPlease,â he begged with his voice softer than you had heard for almost a year, âlet me just-â
âLeave! You couldâve gotten me killed, Fernando. Get out!â You said, louder. âDo you have any idea that you could have ruined my life in a moment of anger?! That you could have gotten me seriously injured or worse?! I would have never done that to you!â You pressed your index finger to the nurse button repeatedly, and a few seconds later, a nurse came in, âMaâam can you escort him out please?â
You could see in his eyes that he was hurt by your words, but in that moment, all you felt was blind rage, for what he did the last time you spoke and because he crashed into you on purpose. You didnât want to hear any excuses now that he realized he put your life in danger just because his ego couldnât take a hit.
The next day, after you were discharged, you traveled for a meeting with Flavio at Renaultâs headquarters. He met you alone in the meeting room, talking to you about the accident, and after making sure you were physically fine, he went off.
âWhat you did yesterday was reckless and you went against express orders from the team and from me. This is not happening again, or you will be risking your seat at Renault,â He said, his voice never leaving room for debate, you swallowed and nodded, âWhen the team orders you to do something, you do. No questioning, and no going against it. Understood?â
âYes, sir.â
âFernando was really worried about you yes-â
âI donât want to talk about him.â You cut Flavio off.
âYou two are best friends, itâs really sad to see you lose all that because of Formula 1â Flavio said, gently.
âHe put my life at risk, Flavio. This is not something a friend would do,â you stood up, walking away but you stopped by the door, âKinda curious how motorsports, the very thing that brought us together, is the same that tore us apart.â
Then you went to meet the engineers for the next race strategies.Â
That night as you laid down at home, you thought that youâd never compete with Fernando solely because he was Flavioâs favorite. If it ever came to Flavio to decide whether you would win or Fernando would win, heâd always pick Fernando. You couldâve been fighting for the championship this year, he had promised you, instead you were being used as a step in Fernandoâs path of glory, when you could be fairly racing him for the championship. Youâd always come second to him there. That was also the moment you stopped seeing Flavio as a friend, and confined him back to a position of Team Principal.
You reread the Sauber proposal that came to you that year to start racing for them the next season, tempted to just go and make your name somewhere else. Somewhere where youâd be put first.
But deep down, a sense of indebtedness had rooted into your heart ever since the day Fernando told you the truth. You had to pay Flavio back for his trust and for his money, and the only way you thought you could do it was by becoming world champion under his team.
There was still a little kid inside you, a little kid who aspired to prove Fernando wrong, to become a champion and prove to yourself youâre more than him. More than who he wanted you to be, more than a loser.
You turned down the offer from Sauber.
The rest of the season you went almost robotically. You still gave your all every race, but your mood would always damper when you had to follow team orders.
âAsk if me and Fernando can switch, Iâm faster!â You said on the radio. You kept driving, Fernando a little less than two seconds in front of you, but you were getting closer and would catch up to him in two laps.
âNegative, protect his position.â
âThereâs a McLaren right behind me! Theyâll pass us both!â
âNegative, team orders.â
You swallowed and held your position, trying to maintain your P2 and Fernando P1. But when the McLaren got close to you, they managed to pass you after a brief battle, going for Fernando a couple of laps later.
Later, you stood on the podium, looking ahead knowing that P3 couldâve been a P1 if they had let you fight for it. You didnât look at Fernando on the other side of the podium, you just stood there, eyes watery. You pretended to take part throwing champagne for a few seconds, forcing a smile knowing that it would look bad not to.
The post race interviews were torture, and you wanted to go home and vent to your parents.
âHow has it been to manage your friendship with Fernando outside the track?â A reporter asked, and your smile disappeared from your face.
âWe were never really friends,â you shrugged, annoyed, you added âAre there any questions about racing instead of my personal life?â The reporter was silent, visibly taken aback by your responses, you had rarely been hostile toward a journalist before, you knew he would have a field day with just those replies, especially when your PR manager gave you a hard stare, âNo? Thank you, see you around.â
You finished P2 in the race Fernando became champion for the second time. When you got out of the car, you watched as Flavio and Fernando hugged, jumping from the ground and celebrating. The number one and your team principal. After the podium ceremony, you didnât bother to stay to spray champagne, just leaving and going straight out.
You got a couple more proposals from other teams, and you were tempted, until Flavio told you Fernando was leaving for McLaren the next year and offered you an extension. You took it under the condition to become the number one driver now that Fernando was out of the picture.
A part of you mourned the death of the dream, the one you had at fourteen to become teammates with your best friend. So many things had happened in between everything, now you would miss it. Only the good, not the bad and ugly. You wish you could go back in time, redo everything, and never allow yourself to lose your best friend on the way.
The next year you ended up striking an unexpected friendship with Jenson Button, Nico Rosberg and eventually the two rookies Lewis and Sebastian, who had been very vocal about being fans of yours.
You didnât go back to talking with Fernando. You didnât try and he didnât either. It felt like the bridges were too far burned to recover.
One day as you walked out of the garage, you saw Fernando with a girl on the opposite side. She was clinging to his side, whispering. You knew he had his fair share of fun with grid girls but he never invited them to watch the race from his garage. You wondered if he was dating again, after a couple of years being nothing more than a player. You also wonder why it made a pang of pain flare through your chest.
You donât linger too much. He had no reason to tell you. You werenât even friends anymore.
You moved on, as much as you could. And eventually, you met Kaka, or Ricardo, as you preferred calling him. He was a footballer, a big name in the sport, playing for a big team in Italy. You actually met him at a gala party, the both of you being silly introverts, bumping into each other when trying to find a way out. You two ended up talking for hours on the balcony, watching the city lights.
He reminded you of Nano before Formula 1.
And you actually wanted to smash your own head against the handrail as you thought that.
After exchanging numbers and calling a couple of times, you managed to convince Ricardo to come to a Grand Prix. His presence was calm, funny without being mean, and so gentle. It was actually the calm between the storm your life and job was.
You were pacing around outside the motorhomes to try and see if he had arrived yet, since the last you had talked to him was when he was on his way. While waiting, your eyes found Fernandoâs on the opposite side in front of McLaren, he was sitting down with his girlfriend telling him something. You stared at him for a whole minute, and for a brief moment, the anger left his eyes for something softer, something like-
âHi, minha linda!â Ricardo showed up out of nowhere, and he hugged you so tight he actually swiped you off your feet.
Once the surprise passed, you hugged him back, your fingers finding their way through his hair. And he laughed, spinning you before putting you down. You talked for a bit, your face lit up as he told you about his day.
Your eyes unconsciously turned to Fernando, because you could feel that he had been staring at you for as long as Ricardo was there. His face was back to anger.
âYou want me to give you the grand tour?â You offered, just so you could escape the weight of Fernandoâs glare.
You took Ricardo by the hand and showed him all around, even introducing him to part of your team. After that race when you placed third, Ricardo invited you to a date, the first official one. After a couple of months and a few kisses, he asked you to be his girlfriend. You only hesitated for a second before smiling and squealing a yes.
Being the main driver of your team allowed you to live an entirely different season as a racer. You didnât want to be arrogant, but you had it in the bag. You had the best car, the best engines, and just the perfect amount of boldness. Add insane strategies, and you were unstoppable.
Despite Fernando being your close rival on track, he was way too busy beefing with Lewis, his surprisingly great rookie teammate.
During summer break that year, you were on a trip to Brazil with Ricardo, but still, the night of July 29th, you got up at two a.m., slowly went to the fridge, where you got an ice cream pint. With a spoon, you sat on the handrail in the balcony, and watched the waves breaking on the beach a few meters away.
It was weird keeping the ice cream tradition alone, but you supposed it was even weirder not keeping the tradition. Staring at the stars, you wondered if Fernando had any ice cream to celebrate his birthday that day.
âHi,â you heard Ricardo behind you, his hands sneaking around your middle and he hugged you from behind, laying his head against your shoulder, âeverything ok?â
âYeah, just wanted a little treat,â you mumbled, closing the lid on the ice cream, because a selfish part of you didnât want to share the tradition with anyone other than Fernando. It was silly and stupid, and still⌠you couldnât bring yourself to do it. You put the ice cream back in the freezer and smiled at Ricardo as he pulled you into his arms and carried you back to bed.
You came back from summer break with a renewed sense of focus. Deep down you knew that was your season. Your season to become world champion, and nothing was going to get in the way of that. As you won the first two races after summer, you became first in the standings, this sense of purpose being the one thing motivating you every weekend to give your best.
It was Interlagos that year when you needed only a podium to become World Champion, pretty much the same as Fernando two years before. The race was tough, and it felt like Fernando was out to get you, especially in a moment right in the middle of the race, when you were behind him in P3 and he tried to brake test you again, but this time you were quick to react, avoiding his rear and using his own dirty trick against him, turning sharply to overtake him from outer side, moving past him fast enough to gain some precious couple of seconds.
After that, you managed to smoothly overtake the P1 with a carefully planned pit stop that allowed you to come out first. Later on, you saw a crash, nothing too bad, but you found out it was Fernando and Webber.
âAre they ok?â You asked via radio to your engineer.
âYes, they are already back on the pitlane.â
You sighed and focused back to your race, keeping your P1 safe, and going smoothly to take the checkered flag.
âCongratulations, Y/N! Youâre a Formula One World Champion!â
You felt the tears coming down and dampening your balaclava, as you took one last lap to parc ferme, waving at the crowd that went insane.
It was like a huge weight was lifted from your chest. Because you were now world champion. You were there, and you deserved to be there, among the best. You didnât need to prove yourself anymore, and you had finally paid Flavio back.
You jumped out of the car straight into your team, jumping with them, and Flavio ran up to you, pulling you into a tight hug. Jenson also found you and hugged you firmly, patting your back and Nico also hugged you, both of them were on the podium with you.
As you looked down from the podium, with a watery, emotional smile, you saw your dad crying like a baby and clapping his hands. Unconsciously, your eyes looked for Fernando, silly hoping it mattered something to him, that at least in the name of your former friendship, he would be there, but he was nowhere to be seen, and you felt like that was another nail in the coffin of your friendship.
Deciding to forget it, you drank champagne straight from the bottle, laughing as both Nico and Jenson paired up to drown you in champagne, looking happy for you.
After talking to your mom on the phone, you stood up, taking your bag and going out to look for your dad. You didnât make it very far, as you came out in the hallway, you found Fernando, leaning against the wall. You paused, looking up to him while your heartbeat went up.
âIâm happy for you,â he whispered. And you wanted to believe it really badly, but thinking about him brake testing you during the race, trying to take you out, made you roll your eyes at him.
âSure, you are,â you said sarcastically. He shook his head and clicked his tongue, like he was disappointed you didnât believe him, âmy debt is over now.â
âWhat?â He frowned, confused.
âI just paid Flavio for his investment,â you explained, âIâm not just here because you asked him to support me, Iâm a damn great driver. Iâm here because I deserve it, not because you took me out of pity.â
Fernando stared at you completely shocked at your words, something painful stabbing at his chest. He never thought youâd think like that over disgusting words he said in a moment of anger. Words that never meant anything to him, that he didnât even believe in himself. The hurt in your eyes was the same from the day he said the words, when you cried looking into his eyes and telling him he was dead to you.
You walked past him and away. He wanted to shout that he never meant those words, that you were so much more, so much better. But you just left. Fernando followed you outside, trying to catch you and explain himself, maybe fix things between you, making peace.
But as he got outside, he paused, seeing you jumping in your boyfriendâs arms, laughing at something he whispered to you. Fernando swallowed, closing his fist and jealousy burned through his limbs, with such force that it felt like a fever.
Right after the Brazilian Grand Prix, Ferrari got in touch with you, offering a two year contract to become teammates with Kimi Raikkonen and drive for what was one of, if not the most classic team in Formula 1. After negotiations, it was a no brainer. You didnât owe Renault anything any more. And thatâs what propelled you to meet with Flavio that winter break in a cafeteria in Monaco. When you had called, he said he wanted to talk to you about something, which was convenient.
After pleasantries and small talk, you were ready to start, but Flavio cut you off without noticing.
âI have to tell you something,â he started, carefully, âFernando is coming back to Renault next year.â
You froze for a second, not wanting to think too much about the implications of that. The fact that Flavio was willing to force you and Fernando to be teammates again even after the catastrophic ending you had before. Sighing, you covered your face for a second.
âI know you have reservations, but Iâve talked with Fernando and heâs willing to-â
âIâm going to Ferrari.â
And Flavio understood, after talking for a while. He knew Ferrari was most drivers' ultimate dream, and you werenât immune to that either. Unfortunately for you, Fernando released the news he was going back to Renault a week before Ferrari announced you, and the media had a field day with that, tabloids and media outlets doing numbers of articles about you avoiding being teammates with Fernando again, since he was coming back and you were conveniently leaving almost at the same time.
Your races with Fernando kept being dangerous, one always trying to one up the other, dangerous moves and overtakes, close calls of crashing into each other, and more and more jabs publicly. The attacks at each other never stopped, and the media seemed to enjoy it, feeding into it ever so often.
One occasion, you were going for a win, and the only thing between you and that damn P1 was Fernando Alonso. So you kept your P2, biding your time as you tried to close the gap, leaving your chance at overtaking for the last few laps. When a fast turn came, you advanced, overtaking him, Fernando tried to defend his position, but you were getting the lead, and both of you were in high speed. Someone had to back out, otherwise you two would crash. But you were feeding off of anger and hurt, and you didnât back down well into the turn, but suddenly, Fernando slowed down, giving up defending. You took the P1 and after a few laps, the checkered flag. You knew on the podium that Fernando was seething, his face didnât hide that. Later, at an interview, someone brought up the dirty move.
âSo, a very dangerous move at turn 2 during lap 47, no?â The reporter asked, trying to get a reaction out of you.
âI thought it was a pretty common battle, no?â You said, a condescending tone imitating him.
âWell, it couldâve caused you both to crash.â
âI took a risk, either I would pass and win, or we would both crash and DNF. Alonso was wise and went for the safest option.â I gave the reporter a fake smile.
You knew that answer would piss Fernando off, and a part of you knew he deserved it. Sometimes you acted on pure rage and pettiness, feral and way more aggressive against Fernando on track than you really needed to be. But he just pissed you off. Walking around with his model girlfriend, his attacks at your racing abilities, his pretty eyes that always seemed to find yours at the most inconvenient times.
Then, the race weekend would end, and everything that was left was shame. Your burning shame every time your momâs eyes shone when she asked about Fernando, hoping you two would have made peace. You, looking away from her face every time you told her you knew nothing about Alonso because you didnât want to see the disappointment in her eyes.
Later that year, after your two year anniversary with Ricardo, you accidentally found a ring box in his suitcase. A proposal ring, a beautiful big diamond ring, probably worth a small fortune. And you tried to feel happy about it, but you could only find dread in your heart. Despite loving Ricardo, you knew you didnât love him as much as you could. And certainly not as much as she loved you. You didnât love him as much as you loved-
Closing your eyes, you also closed your heart, and after that just like the coward you were, you broke up with Ricardo the kindest way you could. He was confused, because your relationship was tranquil, without many problems. It broke your heart to break his heart, but you couldnât lead him on, you knew Ricardo was husband material, and the earlier you let him go, the earlier he would find his true happiness.
Ultimately, you decided to only pursue love after your Formula One career. Having a bit of fun here and there, and a couple of casual relationships even with other drivers, but nothing serious or public. When you found out Fernando was single again, a flicker of hope sparked in your chest, but when you saw him go back to his playboy ways⌠It died down.
Sometimes you would dream of a different life, of one you never lost your best friend⌠or even better, one that you never had to suppress the love you felt for him. And sometimes it felt too much, like all this love was just filling up your hollow heart, filling up until it overflowed, until you felt like you were drowning in it, because there was nowhere for this love to go. And you wondered, what do I do with this love, there's no one to give it to, there's no recipient to put it. So you would just ground your teeth and bear it, holding onto anger because that much love, that much longing did nothing but cause you pain.
Every time someone mentioned him outside race weeks, you felt ashamed.
Despite being in a top team like Ferrari, youâd only get a few wins, and some podiums here and there, so it wasnât like you didnât achieve anything. But you were a woman so it was obviously not enough, and the media started questioning your career and your place in Formula One.
After two years of you driving for Ferrari, Domenicalli, your team principal, sat you down to let you know Fernando Alonso would be joining the team the next year, and you bit the inside of your cheek, considering just retiring. The criticism was getting to you, and the perspective of living hell with Fernando as your teammate was a broken heart all over again.
When an opportunity arose to drive for Red Bull Racing, with a two year contract, you didnât think twice before accepting. It would be your chance to turn the tide in your career.
It sent the motorsport world into a frenzy when your new team announced you and a week later Ferrari announced Fernando as their future driver. The same narrative of you running away from him was passed ahead. And of course, it got to the paddock. Most drivers that were close to you actually congratulated you, but of course, nothing was ever good for Fernando. And despite not fully talking to him, he was always willing to throw a mean comment at you any given day.
âAnd people said youâre washedâ Fernando said right after the news broke, the second to last race of that season, his voice dripping with venom. You knew it was a backhanded compliment, he always did that when he wanted to get a rise out of you. He smirked, waiting for your feral clapback, as you always had one on the tip of your tongue.
But when he looked back at you, your face was stony, and you were looking ahead with your chin raised. You didnât even look at Fernando, nor answered his taunting. You pretended he wasnât there but he noticed your eyes were misty.
That had been a low blow, even for him. He didnât know shit about your feelings regarding your career, but he knew exactly how the world had been treating it, and it made you burn with shame that he could add insult to injury this easily. You wondered why he would say something like that if, just like you, it had been years since the last time he was champion of the world. Two years pushing yourself to the maximum so you could achieve your second championship.
Fernando had been your best friend for so long, he knew exactly what buttons to push when he wanted to hurt you.
When someone else arrived, greeting you, you cleared your throat briefly before answering and plastering a smile that never reached your eyes.
âAre you running away from me?â Fernando cornered you later that same day.
âWhat?â You paused.
âI went back to Renault and you left, now Iâm going to Ferrari and youâre leaving,â he shrugged. You scoffed.
âIâm not sure if you know, but my life doesnât revolve around you, Fernando.â
âWell, thatâs a weird coincidence, donât you think?â
âWhat do you want? Why are you here?â
Fernando paused for a second, his eyes searching yours, he looked vulnerable, open like he hadnât been in so long. He looked every bit your best friend from years before.
âI miss you, I-â He started, then cleared his throat.
âI miss the old you,â You swallowed a whole bunch of your pride just to be able to say those words.
âThings are different nowâŚâ Fernando started, his eyes full of hoping, of longing, âWe could- maybe we could-â
âFernando, weâre too far gone, what we said- what we didâŚâ You muttered, feeling a lump in your throat, âhow do one come back from that?â
âWe could restart. Try again-â
âYou lost me forever that day, Fernando.â You muttered, the tears holding on to your eyelashes. You didnât need to specify the day, he knew, he had seen in your eyes the moment he lost you, âI spent so long hearing your voice in my head, telling me I wasnât good enough, I shouldnât be here, and I- I hated you that day. And I had to hold onto this hate, because the alternative was overwhelming sadness.â
There was a numbing silence for a couple of minutes, as you stared down at your own feet, trying to stop all the feelings you spent years carefully locking away from breaking free. So much had happened, you believed you and Fernando were too far to recover now.
âIâm a woman here, the first and only woman in so long, and the whole world was against me. You have no idea how it felt that my best friend, the person I trusted the most, was also against me,â You shook your head, feeling the tears drop.
âIâm sorry, Nena⌠Iâve never- Iâve never meant any of that.â He muttered, and you didnât look at him to see if he was being genuine. You had formed walls around your heart to protect yourself from heartbreak, and you now had a hard time believing him.
âThere are some things⌠that are not meant to be.â You didnât look back at Fernando after you said that, choosing to walk away with this broken heart feeling ever present.
It was hard to keep going everyday. You had always faced backlash for being a woman in Formula 1, and you were used to it. But the media took a turn over the next few years. When you didnât win more championships, when years passed and you were still there, along with other champions and future champions. They started to call you old, washed, telling you to retire and placing bets on when youâd lose your seat. It was baffling because it had been six years since your championship, but it had been seven years since Fernandoâs, but still, you were the only one whose spot was questioned all the time. It was unfair, and whenever they came up to you talking about it, youâd ask them if theyâd ask the same to older drivers or other champions. They would leave you alone for a week and then come back stronger, ready to throw your whole career under the bus.
Finally, you got another chance at the championship in 2013, after an unbelievable start of the season with five consecutive wins. That had put you first in the standings for the championship, and from there on, your team molded the season around you. Smooth sailing through the season, you became world champion in Suzuka, way too far ahead in the championship to anyone be able to catch up to you.
When you stood on the podium that night, you cried happy tears. You had once again proved wrong years of demerit from the world. As you looked down to search for your family, your eyes found Fernando right beside them, a proud, emotional look on his face as he kept a hand over his heart, listening to your national anthem.
He nodded at you with a small smile, and a part of you healed a little bit.
You enjoyed a couple of days of pure bliss after becoming world champion. Parties, celebrations and trips, they were all you did for the next few weeks.
When the FIA Prize Giving ceremony came, you had another bombshell to drop at the world. You were the most stunning you ever felt that year when you arrived at the ceremony, in a beautiful dark blue dress with little crystals all over the bodice, a beautiful hairstyle and even more beautiful makeup. Never in your entire career in Formula 1, you had felt so fulfilled, so happy.
Hearing your name being called as the winner, the number one, was different this time, and had much more weight, and it made your heart burst with happiness. As you walked up the stairs to the stage, receiving your trophy, you stopped by the mic.
âThank you so much. Iâd like to thank my family for supporting me from the beginning, my team for making the perfect season, and the perfect car for me to be able to achieve this. Iâd like to thank all my teammates that, in one way or another, taught me some valuable lessons as a racer. Thanks to Flavio for taking a chance on my career when probably no one else would.â You said, with a smile. You took a good look around, all the people in this sport who made Formula 1 the most important category of motorsport, all your peers, all the teams. âIâm announcing my retirement from Formula 1, as of right now.â
There was a wave of shock and loud gasps in the whole room, flashes and flashes bulbing harder than before, journalists scrambling to take notes⌠But you kept smiling, hand firm around your trophy as you let the news settle down before speaking again.
âIn 2007 I wanted to pay Flavio back for giving me the opportunity to be here today. That debt was paid that same year. After that year I wanted to win for myself, to write my name in the history books, and my dream is now realized. I feel like I should move on and make space for new upcoming talents.â Your eyes were wet with unshed tears, but you smiled, the first genuine smile in a few years.
Fernando felt his heart drop at your words. Things werenât supposed to go like this, you two should be best friends, drive together, retire together. Go down in history together.
âIâm grateful for everything this sport provided me, the adventures, traveling around the world, the people I met and the people I lost,â there was a calm pause, and Fernando wondered if you were talking about him too, âNow itâs time to go and achieve new dreams. Thank you very much.â
You turned around and walked away under the applause.
Later, after the ceremony was done, you were getting ready to leave when Fernando came to find you. He was dressed in a beautiful suit, looking like a million dollar man.
âNenaâŚâ
It made you pause. It had been a while since he called you like that with that specific tone.Â
âWhat? Came here to gloat?â You couldnât help but be defensive, worried.
âWhat?â
âI knew youâd be one of the happiest when I retired.â
âNo, I would not-â
âYou would, Fernando. You did. Many times you said I was done, that my prime was over, that I should retireâŚâÂ
âI never thought youâd easily give up!â He shouted at you, âLike you did in 2006, not competing against me.â
âThatâs because they didnât let me compete! Do you think I couldnât have competed with you back in â06? I could, but every time, they would tell me to back off, to let you pass, to not fight you, to not overtake you-â You threw at his face, because you wouldnât stand there and let him look down on you like that. You refused to back down now that you were finally free. âPat threatened my seat if disobeyed team orders.â
âWhat?! Why did you never tell me that?â Fernando looked shocked. His fighting stance was completely gone now.
âYou were going to be World Champion again. I would never take that from you,â You whispered, voice failing.
âNenaâŚâ He said, like he wanted to drop everything. âPlease, donât leave. If Red Bull donât want you, you can find another spot with another team, we can think of something.â
âFernando, Iâm not leaving because the team doesn't want me. In fact, they offered me a 3 year extension.â
âThatâs not how it was supposed to go, remember? We planned that-â His voice was kinder than it had been to you in many years, âWe would go down in history together. Win together, retire together.â
âWhen push comes to shove, only one wins⌠We learned that the hard way.â I say, with a sad smile, âLife doesnât always go as planned. And I got everything I could ever want from Formula 1. Now itâs time for new stuff.â
âWhat new stuff?â
âI want to have a family, Fernando. People donât stick around long for this lifestyle, you know that-â You shook your head.
With one last look at Fernando, your eyes watered, and you walked away.
Sitting on the porch, you looked up at the sky, thinking of whatâs next for you. It had been months since you announced your retirement from Formula 1. The new season had already begun. It was your birthday, a refreshing new one.
You heard steps coming closer and your heartbeat sped up as you saw Fernando walking up to you. He sat down by your side, holding a pint of ice cream and two spoons. He handed one to you and in silence, you started eating ice cream.
âIâve been looking for you,â he said after a few minutes of silence.
âWas it hard to find me?â You asked, with a tentative smile.
âIt only took me my whole life to find you againâŚâ He said, wistfully, his eyes shining under moonlight and you didnât know if those were unshed tears or not, âmy best friend, my nena, my girlâŚâ
âIâve always been here. Right here.â You said, eyes watering. You werenât sure you could explain what that here meant, but somehow you knew he would understand.
Fernando took your hand, gently placing it on his chest, right above his heart.
âRight here,â he whispered, pressing his hand above yours, over his beating heart, âyou were always here.â
Then, he kissed you. For the first time in more than a decade, for what felt like the first time for both of you. As his other hand pulled you closer, the kiss deepened, like a prayer and a promise. Both of you knew there was a lot of resentment to navigate through, and a lot of feelings youâd both have to unravel and understand. But there was one thing that was always there, through hate, anger and hurt⌠And it was love, unshaken, steadfast love.
As you broke apart, Fernando pulled you into him, hugging you tight for a few minutes, before pulling away to hold your face with both hands, his eyes looking into yours with so much devotion it melted everything away.
âWe will be alright.â
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#f1 fanfic#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#f1 fic#formula 1#f1#fernando alonso#formula one#fernando alonso x you#fernando alonso x reader#brocedes#formula 1 fic#formula one fanfiction
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POV: your best friend is in love with you
a/n: post-timeskip, MSBY4, gn!reader
đ¤ MIYA ATSUMU đ¤
âHell no.â
âWhat do you mean, âhell noâ?â you whine. âCome on, Atsumu; I havenât been on a date in monthsââ
âBecause men are animalsââ
âYouâre an animal!â
TouchĂŠ, Atsumu thinks, while he stares at your bedroom ceiling. Heâs supposed to be helping you pick out an outfit for this first date you have planned for tonight, and, genuinely, he doesnât like anything youâre picking out. Every outfit looks perfect on you, so much that his heart leaps into his throat every time you emerge from your closet, and thatâs exactly why theyâre not good enough.
Because you wonât be wearing them on dates with him. Like an animal, you said, heâs territorial; and no one deserves to be going on dates with his best friend when itâs so obvious that youâre meant to be with him.
đ¤ BOKUTO KORATO đ¤
Panic sets in as soon as Kotaro realizes what he just did. There were lips. And skin. His lips. Your skin.
All you were doing was giving him a hug goodbye. You hug him all the time, even though heâs started holding you a little tighter; youâve started to joke that heâs going to crush you with his chest. Itâs adorable.
Heâs been playing with fire lately, between the tighter hugs, the lingering looks, the fleeting touches to your hands and the small of your back. But now, he thinks that heâs about to get burned.
He kissed your forehead.Â
It was just for a second, a quick brush of his lips against your skin while you were in his arms. Now that the hug is over, youâre standing in front of him, smiling.
You pat his arms, smile a little wider, and finally tear yourself away. âSee you later, Ko!â
He breathes a heavy sigh while he watches you leave. You didnât notice. Deep down, Kotaro wishes that you did.
đ¤ HINATA SHOYO đ¤
âHey, sunshine!â
When he hears Hinata shout a cliche pet name at the top of his lungs, Meian picks his head up to watch whatâs about to happen, betting that Hinataâs going to get a Sakusa-shaped elbow to the face. Where he expects to see his glowering junior, however, he sees you.
You giggle something in response, and the MSBY captain watches Hinataâs face light up from over your shoulder. You fling your arms around him. He pulls you into his chest. It makes Meianâs heart ache as if someoneâs squeezing his hand too hard.
âSunshine, huh?â he teases Hinata once youâre out of sight. âSince when are you dating anybody?â
Hinata gives him a blank stare. âWeâre not dating. Thatâs my best friend.â
Meian canât help the way he rolls his eyes, or the dry, disbelieving chuckle that falls from his lips. âYeah, sure they are.â
đ¤ SAKUSA KIYOOMI đ¤
The weight of a month-long training camp falls on your shoulder when Kiyoomiâs head rolls to the side. âMissed you,â he mumbles, eyes closed.
Heâs next to you on your sofa, after he dragged himself to your apartment first thing when he got backâbefore even going to his own place.
He had shampoo and a spare change of clothes already packed, anyway. And when Kiyoomi, exhausted from the frustration of a new routine, shows up at your door, who are you to deny him a warm shower and a shoulder to rest his head on? Itâs what best friends are for, you told yourself.Â
Little do you know, thatâs what he told himself, too, but he was trying to convince himself thatâs all this is, and absolutely nothing more.
ââM glad youâre home,â you murmur, patting his wet curls.
Thereâs a tiny, upward twitch to his lip. Best friends, he reminds himself. Thatâs definitely all this is.
#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu x you#atsumu x reader#atsumu x you#hinata x reader#hinata x you#bokuto x reader#bokuto x you#sakusa x reader#sakusa x you#haikyuu fluff#atsumu fluff#hinata fluff#sakusa fluff#my stuff#my fluff#my sakusa kiyoomi stuff#my hinata shoyo stuff#my bokuto kotaro stuff#my miya atsumu stuff#my sakusa kiyoomi fluff#my hinata shoyo fluff#my miya atsumu fluff#my bokuto kotaro fluff
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Why I feel like Ka/taang is one-sided, despite textual evidenceÂ
ATLA does try to convince us that Katara has romantic feelings for Aang. For example: she seems thoughtful when she realizes that Aang is a powerful bender; sheâs offended that he didnât want to kiss her in the Cave of Two Lovers; she gets jealous when Sokka says On Ji and Aang look good together.
SoâŚwhatâs wrong with anti-Kataangers? Do we just lack media comprehension?Â
To be clear, on their own, these gestures can indicate romantic interest. But at the same time, we have stuff like âAang is a sweet little guy, like Momo.â We have her ambivalent facial expression after he kisses her before the eclipse, and her hedging during Ember Island Players, and her anger when he kisses her anyway. In the context of these conflicting cues, Kataraâs possibly romantic reactions can absolutely be interpreted in a different way, because:Â
Acknowledging a friend as a potential romantic interest is not the same as actually being romantically interested in them. (Imo this is something young women struggle with, due to a combination of romance-centrism and heteronormativity that make women feel like they should be in romantic relationships, and that boys and girls who share intimate and deep feelings for one another must be romantically into each other)Â
Wanting someone to find you desirable is not the same as desiring that person. (Which is something a lot of women, especially young women, struggle with. Remember all the discourse around Cat Person back in 2017?)Â
Being jealous when someone flirts with your friend is not the same as wanting to be with your friend. (Especially when you see your friends as family, or if youâre accustomed to a specific type of devotion from that friend. It is jealousy, and it is possessiveness, but it doesnât always arise from romantic feelings)Â
Growing up in a patriarchal society means that your desires are always filtered through what men want from you, sometimes in an abstract male gaze-y way, and sometimes in a very visceral and interpersonal way when a boy wants you specifically. And Kataraâs reactions are just that â reactions. Reactions to what other people â including Aunt Wu, Sokka, Aang himself â have insinuated about her and Aang. Sheâs not really proactive in her interest in Aang: we donât really see Aang, romantically, from Kataraâs POV. Under the framework of âKatara is reacting to a romantic prospect sheâs kind of uncertain about,â it is completely plausible â and indeed likely â that she would sometimes act in ways that indicate romantic interest, in addition to moments where she indicates the opposite.Â
Ka/taang shippers often bring up other evidence, like Kataraâs despair when Azula hits Aang with lightning, or how protective she is of him when Zuko joins the Gaang. The thing is, these pieces of evidence arenât necessarily indicative of romantic love. The fact that Katara genuinely loves Aang makes the whole thing more complicated, not less, because â especially at that age, especially when Aang is twelve years old and grew up in a sex-segregated society of monks â it is really difficult to tell the difference between platonic love and romantic love. Their mutual devotion is layered and complex yet straightforward in its sincerity. What was not straightforward, until the last five minutes of the show, is whether this devotion on Kataraâs end is romantic. The romantic arc for Katara and Aang is not really an arc, as Sneezy discusses in this classic ZK video. Katara actually becomes more conflicted over time and we never see an event that clarifies her feelings. She seems more interested in him in The Headband than on the Day of the Black Sun, and she has never been more hostile to his romantic overtures than in the penultimate episode.Â
And in light of this, itâs pretty easy for fans to fill in the blanks with a different interpretation: maybe Kataraâs weird expression after their kiss at the invasion means she didnât enjoy it; maybe the kiss made her realize that she doesnât actually feel that way about Aang; maybe against her will and her better judgement, sheâs developing feelings for another person, a person who hurt her and whom she fervently tried to hate until he pulled off what is in my opinion the greatest grovel of all time in the form of a life-changing field trip. Maybe. Am I saying that Zutara has more romantic interactions than Ka/taang? Of course not. But ironically, the lack of romantic interactions means that itâs not inherently one-sided, the way Ka/taang became in the latter half of season 3.
Iâm not arguing that Kataraâs unequivocally not into Aang. Obviously the text declares that she is, because they get married and have kids. But I am saying that thereâs a very good reason that so many people, especially women, see Kataraâs interest in Aang as ambiguous. Itâs not because we canât pick up âsubtleâ hints of growing affection. Itâs because we know not all affection is romantic, and itâs really easy for someone elseâs insistent romantic intentions to muddle what you want.
P.S. I first started thinking about these topics (platonic vs romantic love, desiring someone vs wanting to be desired, etc) in the context of compulsory heterosexuality, a term describing how queer women contort themselves into relationships with men even if theyâre not really into men. I saw a post a few days ago joking about why so many queer women seem to be into Zutara. I wonder if part of the reason is because as queer women, we are very sensitive to the ways in which we can talk ourselves into wanting things we donât actually want, and Kataraâs romantic interest in Aang can be easily seen that way.Â
#Anti Kataang#Zutara#anti Bryke#Katara deserved better#From Bryke who offered her so little romantic agency#I actually think Aang and Kataraâs mutual devotion is really compelling because the wires get crossed when you have such intense love#And navigating romantic vs platonic feelings can be very complicated and interesting#but no we did not get that bc I guess they just had to end with a romance however shoddily developed#my meta
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Deployment Birth
Jake Seresin One Shot
Pov: jake misses the birth of your baby while on deployment but the Dagger Squad makes sure they help you along the way.
The old saying goes âWhen you know you knowâ and that was the truth for Jake Seresin. The moment he met Hazel itâs like the stars in his universe aligned as sappy as that sounds, but there was just something about her that made him simply⌠know.
When Hazel moved to North Island the last thing on her mind was finding someone to be in a relationship with but the universe on that one fateful night at the hard deck when she met up with her childhood friend Natasha Trace had other plans. Hazel wasnât sure if it was the Southern drawl or the million dollar smile or maybe even the captivatingly gorgeous green eyes that stared deeply into hers like she was the only one in the room even though they were surrounded by the many patrons of the Hard Deck on a Saturday night, but Jake Seresin stole her heart that night whether she realized it right away or not.
The usual cocky, egotistical, womanizer Aviator everyone was used to had changed faster than they could blink. Cocky attitude was replaced with sweet nothings and compliments. Flowers on a random Tuesday just because and coffee runs on his lunch just so he could see you for 10 minutes. Jake Seresin was in love and he was in it deep.
They moved in together after dating for 9 months. She brought warmth and life to Jake's boring beige apartment which he loved. He loved the throw pillows that now adorned his couch, the scented candles that seemed to be in each room. The pictures that now hung on the walls, he loved it all. The engagement followed suit after a year and a half of dating and the wedding wasnât too far behind. It felt like a whirlwind romance to everyone around them but they just simply knew. They were each otherâs person, made for each other by the gods above so why waste anytime when you just simply know.
Hazel was not used to having a partner that actually put in effort. When they say âif he wanted to he wouldâ Jake always wanted to. The smallest of things like doing the dishes, getting her shower ready to just the right temperature that he knew she liked. Having a glass of wine and her book ready for her on the coffee table after a long day of work so she could relax while he sat on the couch with her watching a muted tv with sports recaps on it just to spend time with her. He wanted it all. At first it scared her, but once she realized that Jake wasnât like her past relationships she was in deep too.
2.5 years in a new journey was about to begin.
She stood in the bathroom staring at the test on the counter. 2 dark pink lines staring right back at her. She wasnât convinced at first but the 5 tests she took told her otherwise, all showing the same result. She was pregnant. They were going to have a baby. She was growing something half Jake and Half her. She honestly couldnât believe it. They werenât actively trying but they decided that if it happened then so be it, and honestly, she couldnât believe it happened.
The next week was spent going to the doctorâs office just to confirm that she was 100% pregnant (which she was). 5 weeks to be exact. Once she realized it was without a doubt positive she began trying to come up with a creative way to tell Jake.
She stood over the box on the kitchen island making sure it was perfect one more time before gently closing the lid just as she heard the door of Jake's truck close from outside their apartment. Hazel acted like she was busy tidying up the kitchen counter when she heard his boots thud across the hardwood floor as a hand wrapped around her waist from behind and a gentle kiss was placed to the top of her head.
âHey sweetheart. How was your day?â I smiled as I turned around and faced Jake as I gently wrapped my arms around his neck
âIt was good. Busy. How about you?â Jakes smile widened as he looked down at me
âLong and tiring. Was flying from the moment I got on base till it was time to leaveâ
âSounds like itâs going to be relaxing on the couch and takeout kind of night?â He smiles as he leans down and places a soft kiss to my lips
âits like you read my mind sweetheartâ
I smile as he removes his arm from around my waist and walks across the kitchen. I admire how good he looks in his khaki uniform. He always looks so good. It almost has to be a sin for someone to look that good. He stops at the sight of the box on the kitchen island
âWhat's this?â
âJust a little something for youâ I smile as he looks at me almost confused as he looks back down at the box
âIâm not forgetting something am i?â
âno..go ahead and open it upâ
I smile as I watch him look between the box and myself a few more times before slowly grabbing the lid and opening the box as I lean against the kitchen island, my eyes never leaving his face as he looks at the contents of the box. His hands grip the sides of the box as he intently stares at the small pair of aviator sunglasses and a small onesie that says âdaddyâs wingmanâ with a jet underneath it. He quickly looks up at me and back down at the contents of the box multiple times before looking at me.
âare⌠are you. youâreâ
I smile widely as I look at him nodding my head yes as he tries to form a complete sentence. Before I could even get a word out he closes the distance between us as he rounds the corner of the island and cradles my face in his hands as he stares into my eyes and quietly whispers
âweâre having a baby?â
âwere having a babyâ He leans down and places a soft but passionate kiss to my lips, resting his forehead against mine as he looks into my eyes
âI canât believe thisâŚ. Were⌠were going to have a babyâŚâ
I smile as I gently place my hands on his shoulders as he moves his hands to my waist as we stand there in the kitchen together. The smile never leaves his face as he slowly kneels down in front of me and rests his forehead against my stomach as he quietly whispers something I canât fully make out to my stomach. Excitement settling between the two of us as the realization that our greatest adventure together was about to begin in a short 9 months.
They say pregnancy is supposed to be a happy time in a coupleâs life⌠and I suppose thatâs true if your husband is not in the military. Nothing can ruin the happiness of a pregnancy like the word âdeploymentâ⌠a 6-month deployment at that. 6 months which happens to be the amount of time that I have left in my pregnancy. 6 months that will be cutting it close to the due date of our baby, if the baby comes on time that is. 6 months of experiencing everything alone. 6 months of sending updates and pictures through letters as often as we can send them. 6 months and the chance that Jake will miss the birth of our babyâŚ
Jake, Payback and Fanboy got the orders a week ago and they leave in 2 days. Those two days were spent barely leaving our bed. Jake's hand never leaves my stomach, caressing the very small baby bump that has formed. Two days of him talking to our baby telling them that they had to wait for him to come home before coming into the world.
âEveryone says that the first baby comes late as long as everything goes wellâ
I lay there running my fingers through jakes hair as he rests his forehead against my bare stomach running his thumb against the small bump
âI really hope they are right⌠I canât miss this.. I just..â he sighs as he places a kiss to my stomach
âI just really need you to wait for daddy to get home⌠just hang on tight in there for me pleaseâ
âWe will do our best honeyâ
The send off was a crying fest. Natasha had to drive me home and ended up spending the night to make sure I was okay. The Dagger squad tried to make this deployment as easy as possible on me as they could. Every Monday Bob came over for dinner. On Tuesdays Bradley and I went grocery shopping together to ensure I didnât have to lift anything on my own. Wednesdays Natasha and I went to a yoga class. Thursdays Javi came over and mowed the lawn and helped with anything I needed done, and on Fridayâs we all went out for dinner and ended the night at the Hard Deck together where I would sit and sip on water while we all went on with our lives. Well they went on with their lives like normal. I felt like I was on autopilot going through the motions each day.
Penny went with me to all of my dr. appointments and has been giving me some parenting advice here and there from when she had Amelia. Everyone made sure I wasnât alone even though I felt like I was a majority of the time. I made sure to take videoâs of our appointments so he can see them when he returns home. The sound of the babyâs heartbeat, the black and white screen showing our little baby moving around.
Every Monday I wrote Jake a new letter with a picture to show how much my belly was growing. With each letter I felt like my heart broke more and more. Each letter included something new about my pregnancy, like how I went to the appointment to find out the gender but refused to know what the baby was until Jake was home. Another one was about how I felt that baby kick for the first time. Another was how hard it was starting to get comfortable because my stomach was so big I could only fit in Jake's shirts anymore and waddle around like a penguin.
Another letter was simply just a list of names for either gender that we liked, eventually deciding on a name for either or that we felt would fit perfectly for our baby.
Each letter was met with a response about how he wishes he was there to experience everything with me. How guilty he feels that he is missing everything and the dreaded line of âI still donât have an exact date as to when I will be homeâ that one gets me every time and usually brings me to tears as it feels like the closer and closer I get to our due date that the reality of me having to do this alone is become more and more real as each day passes. And being 4 weeks away from our due date really made that fear a reality.
Each day this week I texted everyone the same excuse âyou wonât need to come over today. Iâm not feeling well. Super tiredâ. In reality I laid in our bed snuggled into one of jakes sweatshirts clutching onto his pillow as I laid their and slept and cried all week long. Friday night rolled around and I was laying in bed watching some crappy reality show when I heard footsteps and saw Bob, Natasha, Bradley and Javi standing in my hallway. Natasha walked into the room and knelt down by the side of my bed as I looked at her with my tired and red rimmed eyes
âWe pieced it all together when we got to dinner tonight. You arenât sickâ
âI mean I am sick.. Iâm sick of this deploymentâŚâ and thatâs all it took before the tears started flowing again as Natasha tried to console me.
âIâm so scared⌠Each day passes and it becomes more and more real thatâŚ. That heâs not going to be here⌠Iâm going to be doing this alone⌠I canât do this alone.. I .. he ⌠I canâtâ
After crying for a solid hour, I fell asleep as Natasha sat on the bed with me trying to calm me down. Bob, Bradly and Javi cleaned up the apartment and went to the store to ensure I had enough food in the apartment for next 2 weeks and picked up dinner from my favorite Chinese place to try and cheer me up.
We spent the rest of Friday night all crowded in Jake and Iâs bedroom. Natasha and Bradley crammed onto the bed with me while Javi and Bob settled onto the floor by the bed. If it wasnât for this group of friends right here I honestly donât think I would have made it through this.
The week of the babyâs due date approached fast and Natasha refused to let me be alone. She took up residency on the couch in case I needed anything or god forbid the baby decided to come. This week felt agonizingly slow. Like my body knew it needed to hold on but unfortunately it had other plans. 3 days before our due date I was standing in the kitchen making myself breakfast when I felt it⌠my water broke. I stood there with wide eyes and I stared at Natasha who was sitting at the kitchen island. It didnât take long for the tears to cascade down my cheeks as I realized this was it⌠I silently cursed my body for not holding on longer to even give the slightest chance that Jake could have made it home in time.
72 hours of intense labor later and the Dagger squad crammed into a tiny hospital room, Sonny Amelia Seresin made her appearance and my god did she look just like her daddy, green eyes and all. After a brief hospital stay we made it home and two weeks later we got the call that Jake would be coming home.
The Dagger squad and I made our way to the dock to welcome Jake, Reuben and Jay home. Sonny was curled up against my chest as I stood there frantically searching through the sea of people just trying to catch a glimpse of that familiar head of sandy blonde hair and green eyes. Natasha placed her hand on my shoulder and pointed and as soon as I followed the direction her finger was pointing I saw him. The instant our eyes met it felt like the first night we met all over again. It was like we were the only two there even though there were hundreds of people there. His eyes drifted to the tiny bundle curled up against my chest and I could see the tears from here. Itâs like the world was moving in slow motion as he made his way to us. The second he made it to us one hand was placed on my waist the other on my cheek as he leaned down and placed a kiss on my lips as his tears fell on to my cheeks. I love you whispered between the two of us before he pulled back and gently removed his hand from my cheek and gently ran a finger over his daughtersâ tiny cheek and ran his hand gently over her tiny tuft of sandy blonde hair on her head. The second she was in his arms he placed a small kiss to her forehead as she snuggled into his chest and greeted his daughter for the first time with tears in his eyes.
âHi my Sonny girl⌠Daddy loves you so so muchâ
Those words were the beginning of our new adventure together. A deployment may have gotten in the way but everything fell right back into place the second our eyes met when he got off that carrier. The stars in our universe aligned again and you could tell Jake Seresin was in love and he was in it deep with the way he looked down at his baby girl.
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Written for @steddie-week.
Reach Out and Touch Someone
Day #7 - Prompt: Free Space | Word Count: 1500 | Rating: T | CW: Language, Alcohol | POV: Steve | Tags: AU, Wrong Number, Right Person Trope, Bisexual Steve Harrington, Meet-Cute
Steve dials the number messily scrawled on the scrap of paper. Heâs nervous. Heâs always nervous when he has to stick his neck out and make a move on a girl these days.Â
Yeah, he did the first bit of legwork and got her number out at the bar last night. But he's fumbled the ball and failed enough times, Robin's loving, but accurate, "you suck" burned in his brain, that he's always leery to try again. He should be used to it by now, but itâs still uncomfortable and awkward, every goddamn time. If his friends weren't all fretting about his emotional well-being from being so terminally alone, he wouldnât put forth half the effort anymore.Â
He has Robin. He has his cat. He's happy.Â
It rings three times before he hears it connect, âHello?â
Itâs a manâs voice, and he hesitates for just a moment, âIâm looking for, uh, Lyla?â
âSorry, man. Wrong number.â
âOh, Iâm sorry, I must have misdialed,â Steve says, a different kind of embarrassment. But this is one he can handle easier, for sure. So he pushed the wrong button somewhere along the way. His eyesight isn't the best thing he's got going for him.
âNo worries, man,â the other guy laughs, seemingly carefree about being bothered.
They each disconnect and then Steve reads, and re-reads, the number before dialing again. More carefully this time.
It rings only once before itâs connected.
âStill me, dude,â the familiar voice relays, still light and friendly.
âWow. Iâm so sorry. Clearly, I was given a fake number. That's embarrassing,â Steve laughs, because this is more embarrassing than misdialing. He's uncomfortable and mortified to admit that this girl just didn't want him to call her. Even if he's only admitting it to a stranger.
She should have just told him no. He hates that she didn't, for her sake, too.
âShitty move,â the other guy answers.
âYeah, well. I'm sorry I bothered you. Again. I promise to cross-check any future numbers against yours before dialing, just in case.â
The guy laughs, "Well, now. Don't go to any trouble for my sake. Honestly,â and he doesn't sound put-out at all, âdonât worry about it. She clearly didnât have the balls to just, be, like, honest. That sucks.â
Steve laughs, maybe if she'd had balls this wouldn't have happened at all. Most men feel more comfortable just saying no, he thinks, which is sad but true. He swings both ways, and maybe he should take this as a sign to lean the other way for a while. See if that works out any better for him.Â
It probably won't, but he could try.
âThere goes my big weekend plans,â Steve teases, uncertain why he does it, even as the words tumble out of his mouth. He needs to hang up the phone and let this guy get back to his own life.
âDude. That's a problem I can solve. Iâm gigging tonight. You have to come. Let me entertain you.â
âYou donât have to do that.â
âWhatever. I want to. Just show up. Itâll be a great story, will it not?â
It would be a great story. One he could even tell Robin to convince her heâs living a little, âI donât even know your name. What if youâre a serial killer or something?â
âYep, thatâs me. Vicious killer,â the guy laughs, âIâm Eddie, man. And Iâm a fucking ball to be around. Youâll want to take me up on this awesome offer. Weâll all be down at Hellfire Club around eight. Show up. If you think weâre murderous, you donât have to follow us to any secondary, secluded locations.â
Hellfire Club is literally two blocks from Steveâs apartment. He's been past it countless times, but never inside. It's always dark. Like it's not even open, making him unsure about what kind of bar it is, it's so nondescript from the outside. Not to mention the name is a little intimidating. He'd half-convinced himself it's a BDSM club.Â
But, now that he's been invited, he could just walk down and see whatâs the what, âHow will I know which guy you are?â
Eddie laughs, âYouâll know. Trust me.â
Steve has a hard time trusting anyone new these days, but Eddie seems friendly enough.Â
Steve realizes he must have been quiet for too long, because Eddie starts talking again.
âIâll have on a badass battle vest. Look for that. You'll see me. It's impossible not to. I promise.â
âOkay,â Steve agrees, even if heâs not sure what a battle vest even is.
âNow, are you going to tell me your name, or will that just be a surprise?â Eddie asks.
Steve laughs, âSteve. Iâm Steve.â
âWell, Iâll see you later, Steve.â
Steve stands in front of his closet for far too long, trying to find something to wear that doesnât look too nerdy. He assumes Eddie's cool. He sounded cool, and Steve may have been cool in high school, but these days he just keeps his head down and goes through life, content to be fairly unnoticed. He finally settles on a black t-shirt. Basic, classic. Timeless.
Boring.Â
But that's a risk he's willing to take.
He walks down the street slowly and arrives around eight-thirty. The windows are still all blacked out, tinted to the point he can't see anything inside. There's just the neon sign with the Hellfire Club over the door.
When he pulls open the door, he's in a hallway that's painted all black, with a bouncer at the end, stationed at a door. Steve kind of wants to turn around, flee, but he doesn't. He's already here. He might as well at least see. Robin will kill him if he chickens out.
He gives his ID to the bouncer, and is directed down a staircase. He really hopes this isn't a sex club.Â
It's not.
And as soon as he crosses the threshold into the bar, yes, he knows Eddie instantly. Heâs gotta be the one on the bar, pouring shots directly into various mouths. Steve knows he could turn around right now and this adventure could end. But watching Eddie laughing and prancing up and down the bar with flourish, clearly having fun, makes Steve want to go up and meet this guy.
Steve takes an open seat at the end of the bar, kind of out of the way, and just watches Eddie work the crowd.
The bar is blaring It's Raining Men and Eddie is playing up the song, big time. He's not a stripper, at least Steve doesn't think he is, but he's working the crowd for tips, absolutely. He keeps handing them down to a curly-headed guy, who keeps stuffing them into an overflowing jar.
Steve's pretty sure this is a gay club, or at least queer friendly. Maybe he has found a place for himself, something that's been right here under his nose, all this time.
When Eddie finally jumps down off the bar, Steve watches him work the rest of the room.
The other guy comes over and takes Steve's order, and he doesn't quite have the same flourish, but he's efficient and confident with a bottle and jigger.
"Name for the tab?" he asks, shaking the drink Steve had picked from the list.
"Steve," Steve says, and the guy looks up and meets his eyes.
Surely not. This doesn't feel like this is Eddie. He is wearing a vest, a red plaid one, but the other guy also has a denim vest on, full of patches.
"Eddie?" Steve questions, needing to make sure.
"Gareth," the guy says, "that's Eddie," he clarifies, pointing at the one Steve had correctly clocked as Eddie to begin with. "You're his wrong number guy, right?"
Steve nods. He supposes that's what he is, "Yeah. That's me. Loser in love."
Gareth laughs, and it makes Steve smile.
"That's our specialty here, you'll feel right at home," Gareth teases.
"Glad to hear it."
"I'll tell him you're here," Gareth assures, "he wasn't sure you'd come."
"That makes two of us," Steve admits, and Gareth smiles as he finishes shaking Steve's drink, putting it down in front of him.
"On the house. First-timers to Hellfire drink free," Gareth says, and then he's walking away.Â
Steve's eyes follow Gareth across the bar, watching as he taps Eddie on the shoulder, leaning close to his ear, pointing right at Steve.
Eddie looks, meets his eyes, and Steve raises his hand, giving him a small, little wiggle of his fingers.
A huge smile spreads across Eddie's face as he bounds in Steve's direction.
Eddie's quickly right in his personal space, squeezing both of Steve's shoulders, greeting him with a smile, "Welcome to Hellfire."
Steve smiles, liking the feeling of Eddie's hands bleeding through his t-shirt, warming him.
Eddie lets go, and Steve misses the feeling already, but Eddie stays. Sliding onto the stool next to Steve, "I'm glad you came."
And Steve's completely honest as he answers, "Me too."
If you want to write your own, or see more entries for this challenge, pop on over to @steddie-week and follow along with the fun!
Notes: If you're too young to remember it, reach out and touch someone was the slogan/jingle for Bell System telephone company back in the day. So, that's where the title comes from, as a play on the wrong number phone call trope.
#steddieweek2024#day seven#free space#wrong number trope#meet cute#steve harrington#eddie munson#steddie fic#steddieweek#steddie#thisapplepielife: steddieweek#thisapplepielife: short fic
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Chasing Cars ch 9.5 | jjk
âsummary: when your brother goes to study on a semester abroad, your life collides with his best friend Jeon Jungkook, who's coincidentally your roommate. Will you survive the collision, or will you crumble into dust?
âpairings: brother's best friend!Jungkook x younger sister!female reader
ârating: 18+ (minors DNI, some chapters contain mature content)
âgenre: forbidden love?au, college!au, slice of life!au, smut, angst (as usual a lot of it), fluff
âwarnings: frat party, jungkook being jealous, curses, cigarettes, alcohol, mention of intercourse
âword count: 3k
âa/n: jelly jk from his pov for y'all <3 I hope you like it :') I really struggled with this one so apologies if it's not good... I'll try to make it up to you guys in the next one <3
âseries masterpost
âââââ
If I lay here If I just lay here Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
Chasing Cars, Snow Patrol
âââââ
Jungkook got to the party late. They were pre-drinking at Jimin and Seraâs apartment with the whole friend group, yet his thoughts kept diverging to you, as theyâve been doing every day since New York.
Every day since he realized heâs falling in love with you.
The party is loud, yet not loud enough to stop him from looking around for you. He hasnât seen you yet - you were pre-drinking with your friends Ria and Nabi tonight, and he doesnât know if you made it to the party yet. All he knows is that Jimin has been offering him knowing smirks every time Jungkook dares look away from the group, so heâs been trying to tone his searching down, if only so that Jimin doesnât grow too suspicious.
To be fair, Jungkook is convinced Jimin knows. Though he hasnât told him that you came to New York with him, Jimin just has a way of knowing thingsâŚÂ
At least Taehyung hasnât questioned him. Jungkook doesnât know if heâd be able to lie - heâs always been a shit liar, and the thought of you makes his heart race far too much for him to stay impassive when someone mentions you.
Heâs growing impatient though - he wants to see you, wants to make sure that youâre okay. Not that he thinks you wouldnât be. He really just wants to see you.
Itâs like heâs summoned you from his thoughts, as a few seconds later, you appear, walking in the kitchen from the backyardâs sliding doors. Youâre accompanied by one of the guys that was over the time you hosted your friends - Yoongi, heâs pretty sure - and you guys look like youâre headed somewhere.
But then you turn your head, and your gaze meets his and everything fades away. Thereâs just you and him, and he offers you a soft, intimate smile. You say something to Yoongi before heading towards Jungkook, and he thinks he canât quite breathe.
Youâre beautiful. Youâve always been, but youâre different now, like you shine from an aura he couldnât quite see before. He loves it, like heâs starting to love everything about you.
He never thought heâd fall so hard one day, that heâd fall in love so deep he knows heâll never be able to swim out of this ocean of feelings. Yet here he is, and heâs been loving every second of it.
âHey,â you say as you stop next to him, though itâs addressed to the whole group.
A chorus of heys reply to you, and Jungkook waits for the conversation to resume before he leans closer to you.
âWhoâs that guy?â he asks, even though he knows.
You purse your lips, visibly holding a laugh in. âA friend. Heâs going through a breakup?â You say it like a question, and Jungkook waits for you to continue, even as his heart clenches strangely in his chest. âIâm trying to be there for him.â
Jungkook grits his teeth. âA friend?â
Something sparkles in your gaze, and Jungkook realizes he fucked up. Especially as you smirk, and then tease, âAre you jealous?â
Jungkook looks around, eyebrows slightly furrowed, making sure no one is listening. Only Yoongi is paying attention to the two of you, but heâs standing a little further behind you, far enough for the loud party to cover your words.
âShould I be?â Jungkook says.
You wink, and Jungkookâs heart clenches harder. Thatâs when he understands the bitter emotion slowly coating his throat - he is actually jealous, and he doesnât know what to make of it.
âNot at all,â you answer. âHis breakup is with a guy so⌠I fear Iâm lacking a certain part of my body for him to find me attractive.â
Though Jungkook wants to laugh at the joke, all he finds himself able to say is, âCould be bi.â
âCould be,â you repeat, shrugging your shoulders. You gently brush your hand on the back of Jungkookâs, and he tells himself that itâs enough to tone the jealousy down. âIâll come find you when itâs time to leave?â you ask.
He nods, glancing at Yoongi. He hopes you canât tell how jealous he actually is. The rational part of his brain reminds him that you were breathing soft moans in his neck earlier today, yet he isnât able to listen to it.
You step away from Jungkook, and it only reinforces his jealousy, though he realizes you only did so because Jimin is looking at the two of you. Or at least he hopes you didnât step away because you can sense the treacherous, bitter emotions swirling in his mind right now.
He takes a deep breath to make sure he speaks steady, and then he replies, âYeah, let me know when you want to go home.â
You smile, nodding once. âGood evening, JK.â
He returns the smile, wishing youâd called him Kook instead, and then he watches you walk away, unable to keep his eyes off the back of your head. Youâre almost in the hall when you turn your head back towards him, and once again, Jungkook is struck thinking heâs alone in the universe with you. When you turn back around to leave, he feels like heâs free-falling, and heâs brought down to Earth by Jimin clapping on his back, suggesting to play beer pong.
And so Jungkook plays beer pong with Jimin, winning a few games like they most always do even though he can barely concentrate. Indeed, heâs distracted by the thought of you, the thought of you with Yoongi, and he scans the room every few seconds, hoping that youâll reappear.
But you donât. You donât, and the bitter, ugly feeling sits heavy in his stomach, only increasing as he and Jimin finally stop playing, and he claims he has to go to the bathroom so that he can go looking around for you.Â
Youâre not in the living room when he heads there, and he doesnât find you in the hall upstairs either. He has half a thought to try the doors to see if he can find you, but heâs too afraid to stumble upon someone else busy doing⌠whatever he would be doing if he hadnât met you.
Or worse - he imagines stumbling upon you, and it hurts so bad he decides to head back downstairs. His friends find him there, and heâs stuck following them outside as theyâre going for a smoke. He reckons he might need one too, and he smokes with them, hating the taste of the cigarette for enhancing the bitterness already coating his throat.Â
While his friends are deep in conversation about a subject he hasnât been able to pay attention to, Jungkook pulls his phone out of his pocket. He sends you a quick text as he toys with his piercings, and then quickly shoves his phone back in his pocket.
Jimin is watching him when he looks up, and Jungkook slightly frowns, cocking an eyebrow.
âEverything okay?â Jimin says, a smirk on his lips.Â
âAlways,â Jungkook shoots back, and Jimin chuckles before looking away.
Time passes without the familiar buzz of a text incoming, and Jungkook ends up staying outside with his friends for a long time despite the chill of the evening - itâs been weirdly warm lately, so at least they arenât freezing their asses off. Jungkook forces himself to join in the conversation, and it works for a time. He receives a text some time later, but Jimin is now standing next to him and Jungkook just canât risk it. So he stays with his friends for a little longer, until Jimin is effectively distracted by Sera, and then he slips away, walking into the house.
The crowd is still loud inside, and he scans the hallway, hoping to find you here. Youâre not in the hallway, and this time he grabs his phone. Youâve asked him if he wanted to head home thirty minutes ago, and so he figures he just needs to find you this time, because he definitely wants to head home.
With you.
Heâs relieved when he walks into the living room, finding you dancing along with Ria. He watches you for a time, admiring how your body moves effortlessly, remembering how it moves against him.
Ria notices him, and Jungkook walks up to you, not wanting her to think heâs being creepy or anything.
The second heâs next to you, Jungkook wraps his arm around your shoulders, pulling you in. You startle, gaze going wide, and you let out a surprised, âShit!â that brings a small smile to his lips.
âYou donât answer your phone, mmh?â he teases.
Your eyes drop to his mouth, your lips parting on a gentle exhale, and your gaze fills with lust and desire, emotions Jungkook didnât expect to see here, out in the open.
âHey, you,â you purr, and he raises his eyebrows.
When the arousal turns into softness, Jungkook reciprocates, a smile gracing his lips.
âWant to head home?â you ask.
Ria clears her throat, startling you, and you jump out of Jungkookâs arms. He looks down at the floor, trying not to let his smile grow into a grin.
âFuck off,â you tell Ria, and Jungkook spies your red cheeks before you pull him behind you, heading to the room where the coats are.
You grab yours quickly, and you leave before Jungkook finds his. It feels wrong somehow, and he gulps around a lump in his throat as he meets you outside.
âAre you mad at me?â he asks, his breath clouding in front of his face.
âWhat?â you let out, and you truly sound surprised. âNo? Why would I be?â
He motions behind him. âYou ran out like I did something wrong.â
Your features soften almost imperceptibly, yet Jungkookâs heart flutters in his chest.
âNo, I ran because Ria always puts her nose in stuff she shouldnât,â you explain, glancing around.
And just because he needs to tease you, needs to see your pretty blush, Jungkook says, âYou were being obvious, peach.â
Your gaze narrows, and he winks at you, fingers itching to reach for you so that he can hold your hand. He instead shoves his hands in the pockets of his coat as he walks down the three steps from the porch to the lawn.
He heads to his friends while you follow, wishing everyone good night. It takes just a few moments of Jimin looking between the two of you, and Jungkook doing his best to ignore it before youâre walking away, heading to where he parked his car.
âHow come youâre always driving to parties now?â you ask. âYou could afford an Uber.â
He shoots you a look, shrugging. âThen I wouldnât have a reason to drive you home.â
âPlease,â you let out as you roll your eyes, though he doesnât miss the smile curving your lips slightly. âWe could grab an Uber home together. That way youâd be able to drink.â
Youâre right, yet he knows he made a promise to Taehyung. Before saying anything, and mostly to appease the jealousy in his heart, Jungkook looks behind you, making sure that youâre not in sight from the frat house. Once heâs convinced no one can see you, he grabs your hand, pulling you just a little closer.
Heâd want you a lot closer, but youâre out in public after all.
âYou might hate me for this,â he says, âbut I promised your brother Iâd make sure youâre okay during parties this semester.â
You roll your eyes again, and he smiles at the sight of your annoyance.
âHe did not ask that of you.â
âHe did,â Jungkook insists.
âThatâs bullshit.â You sigh loudly, slightly shaking your head. âEven when heâs gone heâs still annoying.â
This time, Jungkook laughs. âBut yeah, he just asked me to make sure youâre okay, and I got used to not drinking as much at parties.â
You meet his gaze for a few seconds. âOn behalf of Taehyung, Iâm sorry.â
He tugs you closer, accidentally making you trip on a crack in the pavement. Heâd feel bad if he hadnât caught you, but his hands find your waist, feeling at home the second theyâre holding you.
âCareful,â he says, even though itâs all his fault. âAnd donât apologize, I really donât mind.â
He lets you go as you pout, and then holds your hand again as you finish walking to his car. He doesnât hesitate before opening the door for you, waiting for you to get in.
You step forward, though you look over your shoulder, cocking an eyebrow. Youâre smirking, and Jungkook knows youâre about to be a brat before you even say, âYou only opened the door for me âcause you want to look at my ass, didnât you?â
Youâre annoying, yet oh so endearing. He laughs before pushing you in. âShut up, peach.â
You donât say anything, sitting in the car instead. Jungkook shuts the door behind you, then walks to the other side, settling himself behind the wheel. He offers you a smirk, feeling like a brat himself.
âWhat?â you let out as blush creeps on your cheeks.
âSo what if I just want to look at your ass?â he teases, turning the key in the engine. The car purrs to life, and then Jungkook adds, âYouâve got a really nice ass, especially in those pants.â
You get shy, rolling your eyes as you look away from him. It makes his heart flutter in his chest again, filling with so much warmth for you that he thinks he should kiss you right now. But then he remembers Yoongi, he remembers how he couldnât find you all night, and he pulls on his piercings as he drives oout of his parking spot and into the street.
You must have sensed his unease, because a minute later, you ask, âWhatâs wrong?â
He debates saying that everything is okay, but then he figures he shouldnât lie to you.
Communication is key, or so they say.
âYou were with that guy for a long time,â he says, his eyes darting to you quickly before returning to the street.
âYoongi?â you let out. âYeah, heâs a friend.â
âA friend?â Jungkook echoes, and then he mentally curses himself for questioning you.
As if youâre not allowed to have male friends.
You hum, nodding your head. âHeâs actually fucking Hobi soâŚâ
What the fuck?
Jungkook glances at you. âIsnât that the guy you were fucking?â
âHe was,â you say, and you laugh at Jungkookâs expense. The sound of your laugh softens his features, lessens the bitterness, and then you add, âHe actually started fucking Yoongi uring the power outage, and we ended things there.â
Jungkook doesnât reply, instead focusing on the road. Heâd lie if he said the statement doesnât bother him - he doesnât like the thought of you getting touched by someone else, especially not when it reminds him that he heard you with him.
âAre you jealous?â you ask.
âIâm not,â Jungkook says, wincing internally at how unconvincing he sounds.
âYou are!â you insist, bursting out laughing. âJeon Jungkook is jealous because I used to fuck someone else.â
It annoys him. It shouldnât, yet it does, because yes heâs jealous. Heâs jealous and itâs embarrassing, showing him just how vulnerable his feelings for you make him.
âIâm not!â Jungkook repeats, his temper flaring momentarily. âIâm not fucking jealous.â
You pat his thigh. âDonât worry. Youâre the only one I want to fuck now.â
Is he?
âIs that why you spent your evening locked up in a bedroom with some other guy?â
Heâs not entirely sure that you were indeed locked up in a bedroom with Yoongi, yet the fact that you donât deny it proves it, and it tastes way more bitter than he expected it would.
âGosh, JK,â you tease, fully facing him. âYouâre so jealous.â
He pushes your hand away from where youâd left it on his thigh. Itâs petty, and childish, but these emotions are so⌠new.Â
He doesnât know how to deal with them, doesn't know how to calm the bitter wave down until it goes back into a deep slumber.
âFuck off,â he grumbles.
You remain silent for a few seconds, and he fears heâs insulted you, but then you burst out laughing, and a heartbeat later, you lean in, pressing a kiss on his cheek.
âYouâre adorable,â you say, and you sound so endeared he reckons he hasnât insulted you at all.
No, it probably had the opposite effect.Â
âI want you,â you breathe out, and Jungkookâs heart entirely stops in his chest.
He stops at a red light, and then meets your gaze. âRight now?â
You nod, and you move your hand on his thigh again. This time he doesnât pat you away, instead reveling in the warmth of your hand on him.
âShouldnât I prove to you that youâve got nothing to worry about?â
His throat dries out, right as blood starts shooting down to his dick. âIâm driving, peach.â
You shrug. âThen better keep your eyes on the road.â
Later that night, after youâve tangled in bed, Jungkook holds you in his arms. Youâve fallen asleep, and he thinks back on the evening, on the jealousy that took hold of him. He reckons you did prove to him that he had no reason to be jealous, but then again, he knows the feeling mostly comes from the uncertainty of your future together.
From the uncertainty of what awaits the two of you when Taehyung learns.Â
He sighs, holding you a little tighter, and you hum in your sleep, hiding your face in the crook of his neck. His heart soars yet aches at the same time, and he wishes you could stay here, forever. He wishes he could tell everyone about you, about just how much you mean to him, yet he knows it for the foolish dream it is.
As long as Taehyung doesnât know, no one can know.Â
He presses a kiss on your forehead, eyes fluttering shut, and he focuses on the feeling of you against him. Committing it to memory, afraid itâs going to slip through his fingers.
That night, his sleep is troubled by haunting dreams, and he wakes up afraid they might become reality.
Read chapter 9 here!
âââââ
gosh he's such a goner for her please help :') let me know what you thought about the drabble!!
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#chasing cars ch 9.5#jungkook smut#jungkook angst#jungkook fluff#jungkook x you#jungkook x reader#jungkook#jjk smut#jjk angst#jjk fluff#jjk x you#jjk x reader#jjk#jeon jungkook#btswritersclub#chasing cars#chasing cars series
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