#or just be mad at him. bleh

[the-kipsabian]

i just feel like a lot of kip's characters complexity gets completely erased by people only going "uwu evil hot man" and idk guys i think that kinda sucks

[diegyjoo]

also srry for being a negative Nancy today i yam just feeling a lil iffy today 💔💔💔💔💔

[phil-lestifer]

mad scrapped with my aunt today

[dootznbootz]

He still has love in him. He's so so different but he's still himself at his core. Telemachus has only heard stories and so this is the only father he'll ever know. But Penelope knew him before and after. SHE knows him as a whole.

Her husband came back as the "Sacker of Troy". Her husband came back older, rougher, angrier, and traumatized.

But she knows him as a trickster. He tried (note: tried. You cannot tell me she didn't know it was him.) and made up stories of a beggar.

She knows him as the warrior. The man who kills 108 men to return peace to their home.

She knew him as the man who loved their son dearly. So dearly that the reason why he exposed his sanity is to protect him. This stranger dotes on her son and her son is clearly very attached to him.

But is he Her Joy? Is this the man who saw the most beautiful woman in the world and still chose her? Is this the same man who did everything in his power to stay home, only for him to be exposed because of the love of his son? Is this still the man who prides himself on his marriage bed? One he made himself. One that has roots so deep. One that is alive. A marriage that is the same way.

She sees Her Joy as soon as he weeps. :')

WHY DID YOU HAVE TO BRING UP THESEUS' SHIP IN CONTEXT OF ODYSSEUS CHANGING ABDJHRJWHSBSJS

IT'S BRILLIANT BUT O W

HOW OFTEN CAN A MAN BE CHANGED BEFORE HE BECOMES UNRECOGNISABLE? WHAT PART NEEDS TO REMAIN TO POINT AT HIM AND SAY "THAT IS STILL HIM"

WILL HE EVER BE THE SAME STATE AGAIN? OR WILL HE CONTINUE TO BE CHANGED UNTIL NOT EVEN A NAIL OF HIS PERSONALITY WOULD ALIGN WITH WHAT IS WRITTEN ON HIS GRAVE

WHEN CAN YOU SAY HE HAS REACHED THE POINT OF NO RETURN? WAS IT WHEN HE LEFT FROM CALYPSO? OR WAS IT EARLY, WHEN HE LEFT CIRCE? OR PERHAPS WHEN HE LEFT HIS WIFE BEHIND?

[savvymantis]

Could I ask how Ratchet, Bulkhead, Wheeljack and Optimus would react to their human s/o sighing dramatically near them and saying “Sitting here. Unkissed. When will it end?..” just silly fluffy stuff with the big robo guys!! 

Also do you have a character limit on requests?? If the characters listed is too many could you do just Bulkhead and Ratchet?? Thanks!

Living for Loving

I am assuming this is the TFP universe. Feel free to resend the ask if I'm wrong tho!

Ratchet:

Ratchet sighs, tired optics trailing to where you're laid out on the nearby couch. With everyone out on patrol, he's left alone with your antics, freed now that the embarrassment of an audience is gone.

You give him your saddest face, cheek squished against the couch arm. "Humans need affection to live, you know."

Ratchet scoffs. "Please."

"It's true!" You say with a pout. "Several studies have been done on the necessity of companionship and affection needed in the creation and sustainability of a healthy individual."

The rush of words, while sounding correct, still strike Ratchet as something you just made up to cajole kisses out of him. Even if you are being honest, the kids all smothered you in hugs before they left, so you're not dying just yet from lack of attention.

"Ratchet!" You whine to him, and his antenna twitches. "Please? I'm sitting here so unkissed, unloved! Do you even care-!?"

A squeal escapes you as two large servos scoop you up. Ratchet grouches, low grumbles in a language older than the human race itself, but his intake brushes over your cheeks. You smooth your own hands over his face, peppering warm metal in smooches.

And despite the show of irritation, there's an audible hiss as he relaxes into your touch, air rushing from his pent-up frame like a sigh of relief.

Bulkhead:

"So you want me dead?"

Bulkhead wilts. "You know it's not that, sweetspark."

"Then why must I lie here?" You lament, fake hitches to your little voice sending stabs right into his spark. "Unkissed. Unloved. Dying, when my beloved is right here, refusing me life's simplest pleasures?"

Bulkhead doesn't know what to do with himself. He's already late for patrol, that plus Miko has been demanding a joyride today. He really needs to leave the moment he's done refueling, and kissing you would mean waiting for the energon to leave his intake, so he doesn't hurt you. He doesn't have that kind of time.

He throws back his energon. "Energon is dangerous for you."

"And my withering away isn't!?" You demand, up into a squeaky register now. Bulkhead sulkingly shuffles past you towards the washracks. "I just want my goodbye kiss!"

"Bleh." Bulkhead spits out the water, the taste of energon washed away. He turns to you, and finds you standing now, reaching for him. Bulkhead lifts you up, nuzzling into the soft press of your lips.

"Be safe."

"Always."

Wheeljack:

"Woe is meeeee!"

Wheeljack flicks a digit along his datapad, scrolling through endless mission briefs and rules. It's boring, but he has his reasons for actually trying to do his work right now.

"Jackie, you're killing meeeeee!"

Wheeljack stretches, holding the pad above his head so he could recline and keep reading.

"You want me dead! You want me neglected and starving and dead and buried and gone-"

"You done?" Wheeljack asks you, but you just turn your nose up.

"No. You also want me suffering." With a huff, you nod to him. "Now I'm done. Can I have my kiss now?"

Wheeljack laughs heartily. You're too cute for your own good, the way your cheeks puff out when you're mad at him, eyes big and watery as you whine for his attention. It feels good to be wanted so desperately, but it feels even better to dangle kisses just out of your reach to hear your dramatic complaining.

"I'll die without my kisses." You warn him.

"That sounds interesting. Mind if I watch?"

You're already wiggling off the berth. "That's it. I'll get my kisses from Smokescreen instead."

"Wait!!"

Optimus:

For all the time he's spent, emotions buried beneath duty and the need to appear strong, Optimus is surprisingly receptive to your playful wallowing and dramatic lamentations. His smile brushes against the warm softness of your bare stomach, low rolling chuckles vibrating his chassis as you daintily throw your arm across your head.

"I have never been so neglected." You cry, despite how Optimus kisses along the bend of your hips. "Oh, when will my big strong mech return from the war?"

"I will always return to you." Optimus murmurs, your giggles gracing his audials.

"You return but yet I still lie here, without smooches." You stroke a hand over his crest, grinning when he gazes up at you, optics soft and adoring. "You enjoy seeing me laid so low?"

"In some situations." Optimus says, taking advantage of your momentary bashfulness to seal your together in a smoldering kiss. "Has that quelled your agony?"

"Nope." You say, popping the P so he laughs. "Gonna need, hmmm. . . twelve more." Optimus kisses you again, pulling back to see you nodding sagely. "Twelve. . . probably more, though."

"You may have as many as you want."

"Yay!"

[chaostudee]

afterglow, oscar piastri

summary : y/n and oscar are childhood bestfriends and y/n tries to be supportive as she can by coming to his races and cheering him on. oscar enjoys y/n's company but sometimes he wishes that he could have you all to himself. in truth you are both just to stubborn to admit that you like each other, a little more than just friends. faceclaim : julia hatch a/n : i'm so obsessed with this acc <3

y/nusername

liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris, sabrinacarpenter, and 456,618 others.

user627 oml

username_11 the prettiest redhead

user9_782 oh girl we need the workout routine asap

sabrinacarpenter literally the most perfect ever 💋

y/nusername all you babes

username1415 to look like y/n 😫

f1fan the prettiest non-wag

user771 in my eyes she's a wag idc

y/nusername love supporting you bestie <3

》 girl u literally travel the whole world supporting him.....it's giving girlfriend

》 there is nooooo way they are just friends

》 my fav bestiessss

》 she's so supportive eeek i love her !!

》 our mclaren queen

oscarpiastri great weekend with a good haul of points !!

liked by y/nusername, landonorris, carlossainz and 4,618,929 others.

y/nusername so so proud of you !!

oscarpiastri ❤️

user728 my fav driver forever

f1fan how can u hate on this cutie

username661 great drive oscar !!

user992 i will always be a mclaren girl idc

user290 oscar pastry

oscarpiastri y/n forced me to post these pictures.

liked by y/nusername, landonorris, alexandrasaintmleux and 2,729,562 others.

y/nusername okay but FORCED is such a strong word....i encouraged you

user728 omgg y/n is so gorge

f1fan okay but appreciation for oscar's photography skills because wowww

user910 love them sm acc

username_56 oh how i love summer break content

user72 oscar pls lemme steal your bsf

f1lover proof the boys and girls can just be friends

landonorris

》 IS THAT Y/N?!?!

》 LANDO WTHHH OMGGG

》 oscar is defo going to be mad

》 um what in the world

》 posting this on your public story is crazyyy

》 i don't want to hear anyone start saying that they are dating istggg

༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚

texts between y/n and oscar

were you with lando today?? oscar

yeah y/n

oh i didn't know you guys were close oscar

we're just hanging out y/n

yeah right, i know lando oscar

omg stop oscar i can do what i want y/n

ik ik that y/n i'm just warning you oscar

okay well i rly don't care about what you think y/n

fine oscar

fine y/n

༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚

y/nusername now my life is sweet like cinnamon

liked by landonorris, alexandrasaintmleux, charlesleclerc and 1,772,929 others.

user728 oh !

username_89 she's really just that girl

f1fan not seeing oscar in the likes hurts

user627 imagine your teammate and bsf dating bleh

f1lover living for this drama idc

alexandrasaintmleux obssessed with the dress you look so gorge <3

y/nusername omgg tysmm it's from meskhi

user56 lando and oscar i fear i get it

username72 body is teaaa

f1_672 appreciation for the car 🫠

landonorris amazing weekend great to be back on the podium :)

liked by y/nusername, charlesleclerc, maxverstappen and 3,618,701 others.

maxverstappen great drive mate and a well deserved win

user that's my goat 🐐

username617 ugh his smile i cant

f1lover omgg best race of the season

user55 so ready for a drive to survive episode on this madness

user728 that podium is literally my dream blunt rotation

f1fan YES U GET IT user756 like carlos, lando and oscar omll i was dying username_55 it was all good until we got no landoscar interaction user617 stopp don't remind me 😭😭

༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚

texts between y/n and oscar

hey.... y/n

oh wow you're talking to me again oscar

well i figured u needed space y/n

i never wanted space y/n i was just angry oscar

oh okay y/n

so did u want something or...?? oscar

well yk halloween is coming up y/n

oh you still want to do the costume oscar

well i mean we do it every year osc y/n

yeah true, well i guess we shouldn't break tradition oscar

oh yayyy great i'll send you the details :) y/n

༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚

*written*

you stood adjusting your dress as excited chatter filled the room. the party was now in full swing and oscar had still not shown up. sure you had your doubts that he wouldn't but you had known oscar all your life, he wouldn't do that to you.

as if on cue the front door swings open and none other than the man himself steps inside before scanning the room. it's not long before his eyes latch onto yours and it feels as though your heart stops. you can't remember the last time you had seen him and the last time you weren't having an argument over something. oscar smiles and your heart begins to thump in your chest as you see him making his way over to you.

"hey" a familair voice beckons your attention.

you look up at him and smile when you notice that he wore the costume." nice costume" you say giggling as you tuck your hair behind your ear.

"oh yeah my best friend got it for me"

you nod smiling back at him. "so how have you been?"

you roll your eyes before drawing your attention back to him. "is this your subtle way of asking if me and lando are still together"

"i don't care about that" he blatantly lies, scrunching his nose.

"well if you must know we are taking a break right now he said he was too busy for a serious relationship".

oscar scoffs. "what an asshole".

"he's your bestfriend" you say confusingly as you believed that lando and oscar were close.

"yeah but so are you".

your heart warms when you hear that and you feel as though in that moment your friendship has been mended through unspoken words. yet you still wished that he would notice, notice how obviously and madly in love with him you are. you watched as he looked into the distance and there you sat admiring something from afar and out of reach.

y/nusername halloween ;)

liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris, maxverstappen and 11,772,929 others.

user HUH

user728 i'm so confused

f1fan u and me both girl

user61 if i was lando i would be so pissed BECAUSE WDYM THEY DID A COUPLES COSTUME TOGETHER

f1lover the real ogs know that they do a couples costume every year

user919 ya'll are hating but I LOVE

justaninchident oh how i missed them

user671 lando be tweaking rn

username717 the fits are on point

f1_55 blink twice oscar if u need help

mclaren lando and oscar youtube video up now !

liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri, user782 and 554,818 others.

user728 OMG THEY MADE UP

username LANDOSCAR YES YES

anon defo just pr

f1fan not lando calling oscar out for getting flustered over y/n 💀

justaninchident okay but the way oscar and lando are looking at eachother omg i acc can't

༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚

texts between lando and y/n

you like him don't you lando

what makes u think that ?? y/n

are u fr y/n lando

the fact that you never stop talking about him and that everytime we are in the garage you can't keep your eyes off him lando

what do you even want me to say?! y/n

i want you to admit it lando

okay fine i like oscar y/n

for how long lando

lando pls y/n

y/n just tell me lando

i mean i've always loved him i just i don't know if he feels the same y/n

oh god you are both so so stupid lando

༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚

༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚

texts between y/n and oscar

how come u and lando don't hang out as much oscar

wow straight to the point y/n

well why oscar

because y/n

because why oscar

because he's not you y/n

wdym oscar

omg you are so clueless , i never liked lando silly he was just a distraction a way to trick my mind into liking someone else y/n

oh well who do u like oscar

do i actually have to say y/n

yes i want to hear you say it oscar

you y/n

༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚

y/nusername my boy 💞

liked by oscarpiastri, charlesleclerc, alexandrasaintmleux and 14,717,896 others.

user828 EEEEEEEEEKKKKK

username728 YES FINALLY

user734 STOP THIS IS EVERYTHING TO ME

alexandrasaintmleux so so happy for you, you deserve this sm <3

landonorris happy for you's

user561 awww username717 and this is why i love lando

user727 the hard launch is launching

f1fan omgggg im cryinggg

username_62 they are so perfect for each other

taglist ⭑.ᐟ

@lottalove4evelyn

@sweetestgirlintown111

@mxryxmfooty

@hadidsworld

@llando4norris

@heavy-vettel

@janeh22

@love2readd

@depressedriches

@seonghwaexile

@nichmeddar

[birdiewriteslit]

Omg I love Persassy LOL. I was thinking maybe you could do an imagine where Percy knows about Luke and Reader but doesn’t like it and sasses them all the time but so basically Luke and Reader are kind of having a “date night” but in Luke’s cabin and they’re just like laying in his bed and stuff but the morning after, Percy is wondering the Reader is because the Reader is his half sister and like he goes the Luke’s cabin to ask him where Reader is and he finds them asleep in the same bed and he gets mad and sassy and starts lecturing Reader and Luke while they’re all confused because they just woke up🤣🤣

omg yes i can totally do this

luke castellan x daughter of poseidon!reader

warnings: persassy (do i even have to say it?), fluff, general show plot ignorance

Percy was staring at you with an unpleasant look on his face as you stole glances at Luke from the Poseidon table.

“Can you not do that in front of my dinner?”

Luke met your eyes from across the room. He grinned at you and you smiled dreamily back at him. “Do what?”

“Ogle him,” Percy said as though it was obvious.

You snapped your gaze to Percy’s. “I’m not ogling him.”

“You so are. Please refrain,” he persisted.

“How about you refrain from having an attitude?” you countered.

“This attitude is your fault,” he sassed, flicking a pea at you.

You caught it before as it rolled off the table and flung it back at his face. He flinched as it hit him and it fell on the floor. “You’re impossible.”

Percy shrugged. “You love me.”

You didn’t say anything. You would be lying if you denied it. Percy seemed to understand anyway, as he held back from sharing any thoughts about Luke for the rest of the meal.

If there was one thing you knew about your half-brother, it was that he was a little menace. He was always telling off your boyfriend for random things. These things mostly consisted of Luke’s actions in hypothetical situations Percy had made up.

He was also always telling you that you were too good for Luke. You were sure he would say that about any guy you dated though, because Luke was probably the best guy around.

He was always nice to Percy, and he easily combatted his sass, which you honestly thought Percy secretly enjoyed.

Deep down, you knew Percy actually liked Luke and looked up to him a lot, not that he would ever admit it.

After campfire that night, Luke was at your cabin, swinging the door open and calling your name.

“What do you want?” Percy responded rudely.

“Take a guess,” Luke said, unbothered.

“Percy, watch your attitude,” you said, walking toward the door and giving Luke a quick kiss.

“Bleh. Stop being nasty in here,” Percy objected.

“Lucky for you, we’re leaving.”

“Where are you going?”

You didn’t answer him and let the door swing shut behind you as you left the cabin.

“Y/n?” he called from inside.

Luke held your hand as you walked together to his cabin. Some of his siblings were asleep when you entered, and some of them let out a few teasing comments, but all of them were used to you sleeping there every once in a while.

“Lights out,” Luke said, flipping the light switch. A few campers groaned in protest before collapsing onto their beds.

You climbed into Luke’s bunk after him and he wrapped his arms around your body, pulling you into his chest. You relaxed into his touch, falling asleep quickly.

The next morning you were not awoken by the sun, but by your brother. “Well, well, well,” he said, standing over the bunk with his arms folded.

“Perce?” you said, sleep evident in your voice. “What are you doing here?”

“You weren’t in the cabin when I woke up, so I used my critical thinking skills, and here we are,” he explained.

Luke stirred next to you, taking his hand off of your hip to rub his eyes. “Baby? Has the conch blown yet?”

“Yeah, thirty minutes ago. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. How irresponsible,” Percy scoffed.

“Next time, we’ll sleep in our cabin, so you can wake us up at the right time,” you suggested.

Percy scrunched up his face in disgust. “Absolutely not. I don’t need to hear whatever weird stuff you freaks get up to. I need my beauty sleep, but you probably wouldn’t understand that, Luke.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Luke asked, offended.

“Hurry up and get dressed. I hate sitting alone,” Percy demanded and left you and Luke alone in the cabin again.

You turned back into his warmth, refusing to get out of bed. Luke got the message, pulling the blanket up over you. Percy could survive one day without you at the table.

[finelinevogue]

a caribbean birthday

summary - you wake up in paradise on your birthday

word count - ~1k

pairing - husband!harry x reader

You woke up to soft kisses trailing down your back.

The chill of the room and the light of the waking sun told you it was approaching morning.

“No.” You grumbled, pulling the sheet up over your exposed chest to stop the kissing, “It’s too early.”

That didn’t stop your ever-loving husband from leaning over to kiss up your back, across your neck and onto your jaw though.

“Happy birthday, m’love.”

Harry made sure to continue to kiss you, until he abruptly stopped.

You heard him flop back down on the bed and away from you. You grumbled in your sleep, not liking the lack of warmth now that he’d moved from you - even though you had been complaining of the time ten seconds ago.

“Why’d you stop?” You mumbled.

“‘Cause someone told me to,” Harry replied, “Plus I gave you one kiss for every year you’ve decided to bless this universe.”

You opened your eyes slowly, adjusting to the light, and turned in bed with the sheet still tucked close to you.

With no words, you simply moved over and on to Harry. Your head rested on his chest and you closed your eyes once more.

Harry’s hand took the time to tangle through your hair and brush through it slowly, brushing his fingers over your scalp the way you adore. It was the simple things.

You hummed in peace and relaxed into him.

“Harry?”

“Yeah, sunshine?”

You couldn’t help but smile at the tiny endearment, knowing Harry got off on how they made you squirm.

“Thank you for my birthday kisses.”

“That’s okay.”

He continued stroking your head, lulling you back to sleep again.

For only 30 minutes.

When you woke again, you realised you hadn’t slept for much longer but your husband was now missing.

You flopt into the middle of the bed and looked up at the bare ceiling, thinking about how you were now another year older. You were grateful for that alone. You had an amazing life partner too, whom loved you just as much as you did him.

Growing up was scary, but not so much when you had your person beside you.

You sat up in bed and looked outside the window. The sheer curtains were blown inwards and as far as you could see were endless waves on the ocean. The sand on the beach was somewhere below, but from your view all you could see was blue.

You smiled at his lucky you were to be here.

In the Caribbean.

Crawling to the end of the bed you picked up one of Harry’s sweaters and threw it on, yanking the hood up too to hide you from the morning chill. You put on a clean pair of boxer shorts too before making your way out of the room.

There wasn’t many places to go, considering you were on a boat - luxury yacht - but it was still spacious enough to take a couple of minutes to find Harry.

You found him at the rear of the boat, overlooking the ocean with a coffee in hand.

Taking out your phone, you snapped a photo of him for safe keeping.

“Knew I married you for a reason.” Your voice broke the silence.

He turned around and noticed you wearing his hoodie. That was fine since it looked way better on you now than it ever did him.

“And what’s that then?” He smirked, leaning back against the rail.

“Those back muscles.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Mhm. And the abs, thighs… hands.” You bit your lip.

“Ass?” Harry asked, breaking the sexual tension immediately.

“I was going to say eyes, actually.” You rolled yours.

“No you weren’t, y’fibber.”

You scrunched your nose at him and padded off back inside.

Before you could even think about ever you were off to, the next thing you knew you were being picked up under your legs and waist and being twirled around the room in your husbands arms.

“Harry!” You screeched.

He was a mad man, trying to lean to kiss you too without dropping you.

“You primal prick.” You laughed when he set you back down, but you kept your arms around his shoulders as he kept his around your waist.

“Primal huh?” He wiggled his eyebrows.

“You’re so bleh.”

“Weren’t saying that last night, darling. Especially not on the terrace when we–”

You cupped your hand over his mouth to stop the filth from pouring out. “Shut up.”

“There’s no one here but us.” He pulled a face at you.

“Still. There’s no need to speak our unholy business into the universe.”

“Unholy, you say? I guess you were shouting to God.”

His words left you gobsmacked and you hit him in the chest because of it. The cheek of him, honestly.

“I’m not playing mermaids with you, again, if you keep talking like that…” You warned him, moving of him and towards the kitchen area.

“Y/NNN…”

[kimberly-spirits13]

How Bruce Wayne Is On Your Period

This is really just meant to make me feel better tbh- lol kill me

He won't tell you, but he knows that it's starting 

like come on- the mood swings are terrible, you get more violent on patrol (you put Joker in the hospital for a few days), you're quicker to be snide towards shady business partners, you cried when you dropped a cracker and then went right back to normal, like seriously 

When you start to get bad PMS symptoms, you don't do patrol for the week

It's hard to control feelings, thoughts, and painful cramps while fighting crime

You're basically on probation from patrol

You and Alfred make a lot of food (or Alfred makes it happily and you devour it)

Bruce tries not to stay away during patrol for too long since you start to worry about him and he really, really worries about you when you're not feeling well

He makes sure to bring home lots and lots and lots of chocolate and meds if that's what you need

Goes to your favorite bakery and gets a massive amount of whatever you want 

Makes sure that you get plenty of water

like all the water because it helps so much 

Is totally fine with you raiding his closet for any sweatpants and massive t shirts

doesn't care if there's blood anywhere or if you ruin a set of sheets

he's a billionaire, it's not a loss 

he makes sure you aren't uncomfortable or if you need space, that you have it but you know that he's there when you need 

Sometimes being around guys when you're on your period is gross and idk why it's just like ugh get away from me you trash bag 

speaking of trash bags, if anything grosses you out or starts to make you feel icky (even if it usually doesn't), he totally removes it from your presence 

for me, it's cheese and weird or strong smelling things 

or anything that looks slimy or too rough *bleh*

If you're ever feeling bloated or just really really gross, Bruce is the hype man

"no gorgeous, you're stunning, exquisite, perfect, amazing, I'm in the presence of an angel babe." he'll spin you around and press kisses all over you 

"No, don't say that about yourself, you're so pretty, you're not gross."

I mean he's like this all the time, but he'd definitely play way way into it if you're feeling down

If you're married and wearing a wedding ring, he gets the ring custom made to be adjustable incase you fingers swell 

I can see you expressing something nasty about yourself like that you hate a scar or you feel like you're stupid or something and he'll start crying when you start crying 

like don't say that dude it's not nice to yourself 

You feel like a sweaty hog because your body is pushing out blood and tissue 

you're going into mini labour, leave yourself alone

When you can't sleep, he pulls you very tightly into him and plays with your hair 

braids it into a hundred tiny braids or brushes it 

anything that relaxes you

you probably have a treasure trove of comfort movies and tv shows and if you can't sleep or just want to watch something, he'll happily stay up with blankets wrapped around the two of you and watch whatever

rubs your back and makes sure that you're taking pain medicine every few hours to stay in your system 

sometimes when he's working in the cave and you're lonely but not feeling good, you'll wrap yourself in a large blanket and sit on his lap, head against his chest while he works

He thinks you're like a cat and finds it adorable 

You basically turn into a cat for a week and maybe some change and he finds it very very funny

makes sure that there are no galas or any meetings that you have to deal with

plans events and meetings around your periods to make sure that when you're on it, you don't have to deal with high society because they make anyone's blood boil (no pun intended)

When you get mad or start crying, he doesn't take it personally at all and just lets you get it out

sometimes laying in the fetal position for a few hours and falling asleep is the best thing that can happen for periods and he will happily cuddle you the entire time, even if it's not the optimal position for cuddling 

he tries to stay as neutral as possible on subjects when you're on your period so that you don't kill someone because he seemed equally as unhappy 

trust me, period mood swings are incapacitating, it's not a snarky thing, it's just so so sosososoososososoooooooo bad

please don't talk to me when I'm in my mood swing phase, I'll accidentally insult you and then cry about it later or decide never to talk to you again 

Local villains will not pull insane shenanigans while you're on you're period because they're terrified 

Terrified. 

if batman has to call in the calvary, its the calvary call out of hell

You're busting skulls and taking names the entire time 

Bruce is scared, the villain is scared, everyone is terrified of this blood thirsty being that wants everyone to be in as much pain as they are

Bruce knows that the world is insufferable and being super hormonal and feeling disgusting and being in pain doesn't help ignoring that fact, or even just living with it

He just wants you to feel better 

Bruce gets sad when you don't feel well 😂

[gretavanflame]

Oral Fixation

Jake Kiszka x Reader (f)

Cw: SMUT Including: oral (m) receiving, handjob, overstimulation, nicotine addiction, vaping, mentions of weed, cursing, angst, slight meanness but just couple banter, cocky Jake, no pun intended…

Summary: "If you need something to suck on babe, by all means…” 

Word Count: 2.3k

“You’re so addicted to that” Jake snides from across the couch, arms stretched wide and socked feet resting on the counter top. 

His attention isn’t even on you and he half looks like a bum with his grey sweatpants, wife beater and unbrushed hair hanging down his shoulders, so you just roll your eyes and turn back to the tv as the sweet peach smoke is exhaled from your lungs.

You’d be lying however if you said he doesn’t look extremely attractive right now. You’ve always had a special thing for this version of him- casual and arrogant, but authoritative and sexy. Not to mention the small tank top he sports shows off his biceps, and his tangled hair still looks soft to the touch. And of course he still smells amazing- like burning wood and whiskey. 

Jake chuckles at the stupid sitcom playing in front of you- the one he had picked that he knows you don’t even like. You hold the vape between your lips so you can pull your phone from your pocket when you feel his eyes on you again. 

When you don’t respond to his pathetic comment he leans closer, smirking as he lunges forward in an attempt to grab the stick from you. You squeal, pulling away just at the last second. You take the vape from your mouth, holding it with a steady grip to blow the smoke into his face.

“Bleh!” he dramatizes, falling back into the couch, coughing and clutching his chest.

“Oh shut the fuck up Jake. Don’t act like you’re better than me for smoking weed instead. Fucking asshole” you mutter softly, but unfortunately for you, he’s heard it.

"Excuse me?" he questions, his previously playful tone giving way to a more demanding one.

“I’m joking, my dearest love” you mock, blowing him a quick kiss sealed with a wink.

You return your attention back to your phone, desperate for this man you love so much to leave you alone. Of course however, he decides to bring back up the one topic you’ve vetoed indefinitely. 

“I mean- it’s not even a nicotine addiction at this point. It’s a full on oral fixation y/n. I mean you do realize that right?”

“Okay Jake. So fucking what. You have a fucking guitar fixation and it’s pathetic. You literally can’t go 5 seconds without talking about it, and you buy a new one every week, blowing all your money. We all have something. Please. Drop. It.”

He brushes off your cruel words with a shrug. He isn’t trying to hurt your feelings too bad. Maybe just trying to motivate you to quit. But he doesn’t have to poke so hard at this sore spot, and he knows it.

You try to ignore him again, turning your attention back to your phone.

“I bet you can’t even go one episode without using it” he challenges, raising his eyebrows and crossing his arms, accentuating his muscles. 

You stare at him blankly, physically trying to keep your eyes from rolling or your hands from punching. Slowly without breaking eye contact, you inhale a big hit, holding it in your mouth to puff out a ghost.

Before you can process what’s happened, Jake lunges forward again, grabbing the vape from your hand and retreating back to his side of the couch.

“Hey, give it back!”

You climb over, wrestling him for the vape while he smiles and giggles. If you weren’t so mad you’d almost think it adorable.

“You can’t get it” he teases, holding it away from your face while you helplessly grab at his arms.

You climb over his lap and try to reach for it one last time before giving up and crossing your arms in protest. He quickly slips the device into his pocket before gently resting his hands on the tops of your thighs.

His voice softens to a gravelly mumble. “I never meant to judge your oral fixation y/n. Just the nicotine one. If you need something to suck on babe, by all means…” 

Jake smirks deliciously and you feel your stomach twist. As much of an asshole as he is, you can’t help but enjoy his lewd comments that secretly make you want him more. There’s just something about the man you love being so unapologetically sexual. You fucking love it. 

You stare at him challengingly, cocking your brow as your tongue briefly flicks against the inside of your cheek. Looking down at his waistband that you now straddle, you bring a single finger to drag along it. You hear his breath hitch and you smile to yourself. 

“Okay Jake. Fine. We can watch your stupid show and you are definitely giving that back to me after… but I'll play your little game.”

And play it you will.

“Because you looove me y/n” he flashes a sly toothy grin before grabbing your thighs tighter to roll your body over him. His hardening length grinds against you and you feel your pussy twitch deliciously. 

“Whatever helps you sleep at night” you feign a smile, knowing you're both aware of your bluff. 

You step off of him to lay across the couch on your stomach, leaving your head resting just inches above his waist. You feel his eyes trained steadily on you as you pull down his sweats and boxers. After he lifts his hips, you pull the clothes down to rest at his lower thighs.

A genuine smile creeps across your face at the sight of his cock, still mostly soft and gentle in contrast to his overly smug words. 

You look up to find him already staring at you and you quip, “I thought we were watching your show? The one you so badly wanted to watch?”

“Oh so now I can’t look at you while my dick is in front of your face?” He rolls his eyes.

“Exactly!” 

He almost laughs, but when he sees you aren’t joking, he scoffs, reluctantly bringing his attention back to the screen in front of him.

Smiling in satisfaction, you finally touch him, watching as his stomach muscles tense up at the slight contact. You drag your palm across his length down to his balls, cupping them to deliver a slow and sensual massage. Jake exhales a long breath and you can tell it’s taking every bit of his will power to not look at you.

You wrap your hand loosely around him, dragging it up to his tip where your thumb glides it over. You can feel him hardened under your touch, little by little as you stroke him softly. 

“You are such a tease y/n” Jake mutters, eyes still on the tv. 

You look up to find him looking much less composed as before- eyes hazy and mouth slightly parted.

“Vapes don’t talk.”

Jake smirks as you bring your lips to the tip of his cock. Parting them slightly, you wrap around him, sucking in ever so softly, feeling as he hardens even further. 

You secure your hand at his base, squeezing slightly and holding him in place so your mouth can continue to suck. You stick your tongue out, licking a stripe up the side of his cock to the tip which you take in an inch deeper. You swirl your tongue around as he releases a deep sigh.

You giggle quietly and bob your head a few times before pulling off of him. You place chaste kisses, just barely touching, down and back up the side of his cock, saving the smallest peck for his most sensitive spot. Jake squirms in his seat, hips involuntarily thrusting up, searching desperately for the touch of your lips. You smile, pulling away to switch back to stroking him with your hand.

You carefully land a trail of spit onto the tip of his cock and see his eyes catch sight of it. You click your tongue and shoot him a disapproving look. He quickly rolls his eyes and turns his attention away as you finally take him in again.

You begin to slide your lips down as Jake’s hand tangles into your hair, just resting there. The touch is comforting as you sink deeper, that is until he uses his hand to push your head down an inch.

A gag forces its way through your throat and you pull away, scoffing loudly. 

As much as you enjoy that side of him- the side that asks, or rather, demands you to get on the bed so he can tie you up, or tells you to touch yourself while he watches, today is a little different, and you can tell he isn’t used to it. Today he has to learn what you get if you decide to be a little prick.

“Put your hands away.”

He throws them up, looking obviously annoyed. “I can’t even stroke your hair!!?”

“Well that’s not what you did, is it?”

You raise your brow in question, daring him to respond as your thumb begins to drag slow circles over the bead of spit that rests on the slit of his cock. You soak up his new demeanor, as he struggles to focus on your words, his chest rising and falling heavily. 

“Is it?”

“No” he chokes out, stomach muscles contracting as he moans sweetly.

You smile. “As a matter of fact, put your hands behind your head.”

You relish the way he obeys without hesitation. You’re finally starting to realize why he so enjoys having this power over you instead of the other way around. 

You turn back to the sight of his throbbing cock and pink tip that’s just begging to be sucked. You let your lips spread wide over it, moving your tongue in big, slow circles.

Jake’s quiet exhales sound like little whimpers and you feel your own stomach tightening. Half of you wants to just get on top of him, but the other wants to see how this will end.

You switch back to long strokes, taking him in all the way until your nose is almost flush with the base of him. You do your best to relax your throat and still for a moment. You construct your throat around him and he lets out a wanton moan that makes your pussy throb.

You pull off of him and a long strand of spit connects the two of you. You go straight back, sucking him all the way up and down as he spirals closer and closer.

Minutes pass of you spoiling him, and you can hear the noise he makes when he’s just about to finish. A small “fuck” drifts off his tongue and you glance up to see his eyes shut tight and brows drawn up in pleasure. His mouth hangs open and he looks so far gone that you could easily grab the vape back from his pocket. But this is much more fun. 

His breath comes out in little pants and you wrap your mouth around him and hollow out your cheeks as your hand works over the rest of him.

You hear his soft voice say something you can’t quite make out and you turn just your eyes to catch sight of him.

“I’m gonna fucking come…” he whispers again, face still drawn in the same position, making it seem as if he’s almost in pain. 

You smile around him, using your tongue to lap over his tip while his hands struggle to stay behind his head. He hunches his body over, opening his eyes to rest hazily on you while his cock twitches in your mouth. 

A loud grunt makes its way out of him just as you feel his warm cum shoot into your mouth. You use it as lubrication, painting it all over his sensitive tip with your outstretched tongue.

His hips start to buckle and he hisses sharply while his leg twitches. You pull off of him, using your hand to stroke the last remnants of cum from him. He watches you, and you allow it because he looks so fucking hot and fucked out. 

You feel his body start to relax as his breathing evens out. Your hand stops for a moment, but he looks at you with confusion when you start to move again. Your mouth quickly latches back onto him. You lick the underside of his cock, slow and delicately as his whole body jolts. He whimpers bashfully as his hips try to escape you. 

“What are you doing?” he quivers.

“I'm not done yet” you reply simply, licking him again like he's a bright red lollipop. 

Your tongue laps over him in short licks and he squirms away again, whimpering even louder as his legs start to thrash around.

“Okay y/n I get it I get it… It feels- fuckkk” his eyes roll to the back of his head just for a second before he snaps them back, swallowing to regain his composure. He grits his teeth together and squeezes his hands into the couch while his body raises off of it.

“The show isn’t over. It’s my oral fixation Jakey. You said it yourself- I need something to suck on” you coo innocently, looking up at him with wide eyes while internally smirking before bringing your lips back to his swollen, bursting cock.

“Fuck fuck fuck…” Jake shuts his eyes tight, finally laughing as he pulls you away for the final time. You sit up straight, laughing along with him while his dick twitches and his trembling starts to subside. 

“I wasn’t done” you tease, beaming as you sit up on your hands.

He returns the smile, reaching his hand out to stroke over your cheek. You bite your lip, looking at him hungrily. He catches his breath while he stares back with the same amount of lust. You both gaze at each other for a moment, just enjoying the silence.

You watch then as his eyes lower and his tongue licks across the corner of his mouth. He watches you with an intensity that excites you- the look of a snake coiling before it strikes. Your heartbeat quickens in two places. 

The corner of his mouth is pulled into a wicked smirk.

“Your turn.” 

.

.

.

Join Taglist!

@jazzyfigz @gold-mines-melting @musicislove3389 @valentine264 @jenniferkiszka @knoxious-dalton @torun-was-here @ageofmaglc @allof--mylove @fleetingjake @ff-liveyourlegend-ttiol @cheersdannyx2 @ageofriles @mikiepeach @gretasfallingsky @highway-tuna @not-sosecret-diary

[mystycalypso]

what does the "my dad can beat up your dad" episode look like in ur au? Cool concept btw I want to. Eat uour art.

"My Dad can Beat Up Your Dad"

I actually decided to keep the title the same because, well, no, "your mom" joke I could make would really fit nearly as well

The episode opens as normal at Beardo's food truck, and as K.O. takes too long to order Chameleon Jr. starts using your mom jokes as insults after failing to attack him, getting visibly annoyed as they bounce right off of him, and he demands an explanation. After all, he must not like his mom if none of this is affecting him. Or maybe she's just THAT lame.

"Well- um, I guess it's probably because-" his face drops. "I don't have a mom..."

There's an awkward silence in the parking lot. But he's quick to recover, "But! I've got a dad! And he's awesome!"

Chameleon Jr. takes the opportunity. "Oh yeah?! Well, my dad could beat up your dad!"

"You're on!"

"Then it's offical. 3:00 sharp, roof of the plaza."

"We'll be there! Oh man, he's gonna love this!"

"I hate this K.O.! I'm very disappointed in you, young man! Consider yourself grounded."

"But Daaaaaaad!"

"Why would you go and do something so reckless? What were you thinking?"

"There was this kid... Chameleon Jr... he kept zinging me, and he called my mom lame, and I guess it kinda got to me cause- cause I don't got a mom"

Laser's face softened. "Oh K.O., Pumpkin... you did have a mom. She was an incredible woman. And an even better hero, and she loved you very much..."

"But, you know, getting mad and escalating a situation is never the BEST idea, Champ."

"Escalate? Escalate?! How can I escalate something when I don't even know what "escalate" means?!"

"Yeah, see that right there? THAT is escalating, kiddo." He hands him a burrito.

"Aw, snappy-whap-whappy! Dragon Dragon Burritos."

"So, I've decided that I will make an appearance on the roof later, but not to fight. I'm gonna face Chameleon Jr.'s dad, but with my words, not my fists. I'll show you how a conflict is de-escalated in the flesh."

"De-escalate? Wassat?"

"It's making a big thing smaller"

"YEAH! Power Battl-"

"K.O., what did we just discuss, little man?"

"Sorrey, dad, I'm just excited to hang out with you." Laser sighs before Chameleon Jr. perks up from across the roof.

"About time you chumps got here."

They scan the roof top but it looks completely empty. Laser confidently places his hands on his hips and smiles at K.O.

"Looks like Chameleon Jr.'s dad took the high road and decided not to show. Maybe we won't have—"

Loud footsteps shake the ground before Chameleon Sr. lands on the roof, throws his briefcase, and pats his son's head.

"Well, never mind! lesson resumed! You just sit back and watch carefully now, K.O." he clicks his tongue and gives his kid a two finger salute before clearing his throat. "Hey there, Mr. Chameleon Sr.! I heard about what our boys did today and though we could show them the right way to solve conflict — by talking things out!"

"Ha! You think I'll let that little squirt of yours slide after zinging my precious boy? I want to fight! Bleh!" He shoots his tongue across the roof and Laser rolls to dodge it.

"Look, I appreciate a good battle as much as anyone! But fighting over something so silly sends the wrong message to our sons, dontcha, think? We should sit down and-" he dodged the kaiju's tail, only for Chameleon Sr. to turn invisible. "Huh-? Mr. Chame- !!!" He manages to dodge again and Chameleon Sr. laughs.

"You're pretty good at not fighting, just like your weakling of a son." Laser stops in his tracks.

"You did not just insult my son." Chameleon Sr. laughs harder

"And If I did? What are you gonna do about it?"

"I'm gonna challenge you... to a POWER BATTLE!"

"HA! Now, what could your puny coward arms and coward legs ever hope to do-" He grabs the kaiju's tongue and punches him, and the two began to fight.

"What do I do? Dad's made this situation even bigger. Wait a minute. That's it!" He grabs the lunchbag of burritos and walks up to Chameleon Sr. "Excuse me"

"Hi, Mr. Chameleon Sr., sir. I'm K.O.. This whole thing started because I took too long to order my food, so I was hoping we could all eat these peace-offering burritos together and forget this whole thing ever happened."

"Aww, that's real sweet of you, kid. The only problem is, I'm a forgetful guy, and I don't like sharing." He eats K.O and the story once again continues as normal.

"Wow. I guess there are all sorts of different families, huh?"

"There sure are, sweetie. Looks like you've learned a valuable lesson today, K.O."

"Yeah. Seems like inside every bully is a big, sweaty, troubled man."

"True. But also, you learned you shouldn't escalate situations you can't handle." He taps his nose and chuckles

"So does this mean I'm not grounded anymore?"

"Oh-ho-ho-no, you're still grounded." He laughs, ruffling K.O.'s hair

"But Daaaad, you escalated things with a power battle!"

"Huh, well then I guess I'm grounded too!"

"Huh?" He hops into his dad's arms and laughs "you grounded yourself!"

"Welp. Guess I can't take you out for surprise ice cream, either. Oh, well."

Laser laughs as K.O. rocks back and forth in his arms

"Noooo! Unground yourself. Unground yourself!"

This was a really fun episode to do in full! So much so I accidentally made one too many screenshot edits

Although I'm sorry it's taken so long to start up on asks again, I've been distracted with work and the campaign. Expect more to be answered over the next couple days

[treezxu]

I havent finished fetch yet but imagine greg w this fucked up dog who keeps killing things for him and theres some fuckin random ass kid who keeps asking excessively about this dog and greg assumes it must be his and he lost it but the moment jake gets andrew hes just like "WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR DEAL!!!!!!" like its a person. nd then it is

Still thinking abt werewolf andrew. imagine

[joedirtymadre]

Can you make a fluffy scenario where Ace is a sick-clingy hubby?

Sick Day

ACE X READER! FLUFF! (PLEASE KEEP SENDING REQUESTS!) (¡Por favor!) 🙏🙏🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️

“But (Y/N)!” Ace whined as he laid in his bed. “I already told you that I can’t kiss you or else I’ll get sick,” you said as you kept a safe distance from your boyfriend. “Just one? A tiny one?” He asked, using his puppy eyes. “Ace we both know as soon as I’m near you you won’t let me go, and we also both know that as soon as you kiss me I’ll end up sick,” you glared, as you pointed out your boyfriend’s tactic. “Whaaat? I would never,” he coughed.

You rolled your eyes, “You know how easily I get sick,” you said. “But I need kisses, I need hugs, I need my girlfriend,” he pouted. “You need to take the medicine I brought,” you said as you crossed your arms. “Then I’ll give you all the kisses you want!” You smiled. “Bleh… you know I hate cherry flavored,” he said as he turned his face away. “That's all we have left,” you explained. “I’ll take it if you give me a kiss,” he sniffed.

“Nice try,” you replied. “Hmph…” Ace grumbled. You stepped closer with the medicine in hand. “Now, stop being a baby and just take it,” you said. “Never!” He groaned as he flipped over, showing you his back. “Ace! If you don’t I’m not bringing you soup,” you threatened. “Fine…” he pouted as he slowly turned over. You slowly handed him the small cup of cold syrup and watched him drink it.

“Good job honey,” you smiled. You slowly turned to place the bottle of syrup on his bedside table. All of a sudden you felt a hand on your arm. You quickly looked over to a smirking expression, “Don’t you dar-“ you were cut off by Ace pulling you onto him. “I’m seriously gonna-“ your words were cut off with his lips. You melted into the kiss, but suddenly tasted the cherry flavored syrup.

“Ugh…” you said as you pulled back. “Not a fan of cherry either?” He laughed. You glared as he laughed, you quickly smacked his head. “Ow!” He shouted. “You traitor! How can you betray your own girlfriend? You know how easily your colds get passed onto me,” you frowned. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” He pleaded as he tried to block your next smack. “So you knew I’d get sick! You wanted to pass it onto me!” You said as you smacked him again.

“I’m sorry,” he pouted. “You’re lucky I like you…” you frowned. “Don’t be mad at me, besides it’s already too late. I already infected you, so you might as well lay down with me,” he said as he lifted the covers. You rolled your eyes and shrugged, he is right… you’re gonna get sick anyways now. You slowly got into the covers and laid down beside him.

Once you two were comfy, Ace quickly flipped around. “Now I’ll be little spoon,” he said happily. “You’re such a big baby,” you laughed. “You know you love me,” he quickly responded. You smiled and quickly wrapped him into a tight hug. “Much better, I think my cold is going down,” he said. “Really? Well th- ACHOO!” You sneezed. Both of you stayed silent.

“I told you!” You said as you playfully punched his back. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he laughed. He quickly turned back around, pulling you into his chest. “When you’re sick in bed tomorrow I’ll be taking care of you,” he said as he kissed your forehead. “You better,” you huffed. Before you both fell asleep.

[yuri-is-online]

Weird Yutu thingy but what if Yuu came from the Pokemon world

I believe the support system in the Pokemon world is much better than Earth so-

Single parent with a raging teen-

Add some emotional support Pokemon

And when Yutu comes to his parent's timeline Yuu gets so excited to see new Pokemon (that love them for some reason. Almost as though they were their first trainer-)

Oh Yuu and Yutu would be in such a better place if they came from the pokemon world. Yuu gets a house with a bunch of neighbors and nearby a lab and no one really cares about not knowing who Yutu's dad is.

The pokemon part is a bit trickey though... would they remember Twisted Wonderland? Probably, I couldn't see the magic marshal's keeping the pokemon? But I could also see one of Yuu's team staying with Yutu's dad by accident. Maybe it helps keep the boys who remain alive that much more sane, maybe it stands reluctant guard nearby where the phantom resides, unable to think of anything else to do until it sees Yutu and gets some of its old energy back. This whole ayuu is based off of Fire Emblem Awakening so I have to mention Cherche and her wyvern Minerva... her son Gerome takes up his mother's mount and brings her back in time with him, it's how she recognizes him even before he shows her the wedding ring... perhaps something similar happened with Yutu where he has one of your pokemon and you just know that he's lying to you even before you know he's your son (Gerome's supports with his dad made me so mad because I always S ranked Cherche and Libra because Libra actually learns to speak wyvern in their support chain but that's not reflected in his support with Gerome because it's generic and i wanted to scream every time i read iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit. I sort of based Jade! Yutu's attitude towards his dad on those supports though)

But back to nicer thoughts, I always struggle with pokemon aus because half of it is just assigning the pokemon, and then I get super caught up in what region everyone is from and just bleh

Riddle! Yutu has to have a Roselia right? It just makes sense, maybe he has the shiny stone for the evolution all ready to go but it was the last present Yuu ever gave him so he's reluctant to use it. Maybe, if you want some extra angst, when he comes to Twisted Wonderland he still just has a budew because he's not super into pokemon battles but he struggles to raise the friendship level enough for budew to evolve once he's there. He's so upset about losing his parent and budew is trying their best tm but it's not enough until they see Overblot Riddle and finally get on the same wavelength.

The triplets... one of them has to have a Fidough that's just a given. I was tempted to say they all have one? But I like the idea of Yushi having a Swirlix since she's more into candymaking. That's 2/3 fairy types so I was scrolling looking for another one when I saw Sinistea and went "oh that would be cute and the perfect fit for a cafe themed se-" and then I realized I could give that to Yutres. Could. For funsies. But it makes much more sense and is less cruel to give her a Milcery. So Yutu gets Fidough, Yutres gets Milcery, and Yushi gets Swirlix for a cute little fairy cafe set.

Cater! Yutu is trickey, he's big on mindfulness and I was really tempted to give him my favorite pokemon because of that, but he also really likes music... I feel like psychic pokemon sort of fits his vibe? And I am torn between Chimecho and Espurr. Espurr is supposed to have difficulty controlling its power, so maybe Chimecho and Yutu could have been focused on helping one out. Cater is super underrated so why shouldn't I give his Yutu two pokemon, it'd be very cute.

Ace! Yutu is pikachu coded to me <3 They would fight so much because both pikachu and Yutu are little brats but once they get in sync watch out they're super scary. Easily the pokemon most excited to see Yuu again... perhaps all that ego clashing is just something that happened in Yuu's world because pika and Yutu bonded while grieving Yuu. Maybe Yutu never evolves his pikachu because that's how Yuu gave it to him. Maybe Pikachu doesn't want to evolve because that's how Yuu left it.

Deuce! Yutu... there aren't any explicitly chicken pokemon outside of maybe Moltres but there is Togepi who is an egg. Baby Yutu loves his bestest friend in the whole wide world, Delinquent Yutu is sort of embarrassed by them. After he catches a houndoor he stops actively using them in battle... he doesn't hate Togi, he just doesn't let anyone in his gang see them and gets really violent with anyone who might try to hurt them. Probably defends fairy types any chance he gets before stammering out some sort of excuse trying to play it off as someone else's opinions. Maybe his boys catch on and one of them gets the idea that maybe they could like... start using impidimps. Make Grimmsnarl the icon of the gang instead of Houndoom, just cause you know maybe fairies are kinda neat maybe. they all want it to be togi instead please boss we made them a little biker jacket isn't it so cu- i mean badass?

Leona! Yutu is loved by cats and he loves naps. Litleo feels like the most thematic pokemon for him, maybe they were napping under a tree one day and a Munchlax decided to follow him home because sleeping on Leona! Yutu was actually pretty warm and Yuu makes the best snacks. His dad probably didn't appreciate the correlation between him and his son's pokemon but as I have said before, he's very much that dad who doesn't want the cat but ends up asleep on the couch with it in his lap two days later. Except this time it's him feeding all his vegetables to Munchlax.

Ruggie! Yutu is my little dandelion prince so he gets a Hoppip. I like the idea of him coming home with one stuck in his hair and they've been best friends ever since. He feels like the one most likely to take over training Yuu's team, if he had continued living in your world I don't think he would have become a trainer. He would have been happy to have a normal job and maybe never evolve his pokemon, but he doesn't regret taking on the role of trainer in the bad future. It gives him a lot of self confidence.

Jack! Yutu... I will bestow him the honor of giving him one of my favorite pokemon. He gets Cacnea because Yuu remembers that Jack liked succulents. Yutu is very serious about taking care of him and making sure he has the best possible habitat at home. Cacnea is under the impression it is doing the same for Yutu and Yuu, but the stubby little hands it has make helping with chores difficult.

It's really tempting to give all of the Octatrio kids water type pokemon, maybe left over memories from Twisted Wonderland make Yuu think that would be a good idea. But I want to give Azul! Yutu a Clobbopus sosososososo bad. It's such a cute pokemon and I think Yutu would agree that his pokemon is super cute. So does everyone in Savanaclaw much to his annoyance, it's like his pokemon is the dorm leader and not him.

Jade! Yutu feels like a Mareanie guy. Water type since he's a merfolk, poison type because that's pretty punk rock, and it looks just enough like a mushroom to be thematic. I could see one of Yuu's pokemon staying in Twisted Wonderland with Jade... a Shiinotic who helps him at the bar and is the best cared for mushroom out there that Yutu is envious. Why does his parent's pokemon love his dad so much? Why won't it agree to come with him into the past where you are still alive because it insists on staying with Jade, saying that's what you would want?

Floyd! Yutu's favorite pokemon ever since he was a little boy was Sharpedo. He asked, suspiciously politely, to be given one when he was old enough to get his trainer's license. He even made a power point, how cute! The answer was still no, instead Yuu convinces the lab near by their house to take Yutu on as one of those trainers with a pokedex who goes on a journey to collect all the gym badges. He really likes being a trainer, probably would have been the annoying rival to his next door neighbor, definitely picked whatever pokemon was strongest against whatever they picked. He still catches his Carvanha and doesn't hold it against Yuu for not giving it to him, he thinks that was probably for the best.

Kalim! Yutu deserves a Whooper. It's cute, the little face is always smiling and Whooper and Quagsire are such joyful little guys I think Kalim would love them. Oricorio feels like a good choice too because of how much it likes dancing... but I feel like Yutu would have a hard time choosing what form to train because they are all so cool. His dad would be such an enabler, sure son lets have all four! And throw a themed party for each one lol

Jamil! Yutu also feels like a good candidate for a pokemon rival. Sure, Ekans and Arbok feel like good pokemon for him thematically, but I just know he would have a well balanced and thought out team of pokemon he deeply loves and takes great care of. Keeping with the snake theme, lets say he started out with Snivy. Serperior fits Jamil's overall vibe pretty well, it's a beautiful pokemon and very regal. Other pokemon I could see him having are Gastrodon, Clefable, and Scizor.

Vil! Yutu loves to draw but I do not like Smeargle in the slightest and will be pretending it does not exist. I feel like anyone attached to Vil should get a Buneary, it's a cute pokemon with a friendship evolution who has real hate in its heart. It is more like Vil than any poison type pokemon fr fr. I could see Vil! Yutu doing well as coordinator, but being a bit uncertain of who else he wants to add to his team, but catching an evee with the intent of evolving them into... something he just doesn't know what.

I hit the text block limit lol, I should just. Stop being distracted by cassette beasts and get back to writing. Or replay a pokemon game.

[kiyomitakada]

what if kiyomi was the first Kira and misa was still second Kira

i wonder!

(bleh that's one of my older ficlets it's before i realized L is polite to literally everyone except light… so it ought to be takada-san but that's fine.)

anyway this ^ was my first attempt at the idea but it has been plaguing me for months and it looks very different in my head now. here are some Thoughts:

kiyomi as first kira

kiyomi is a very outspoken character who is relegated to the most passive position in the narrative. i don't think this was intentional, i think it was Misogyny of the Author, but it is very interesting to me in the context of this AU. i imagine she picked up the notebook fully intending to throw it away but hung onto it for instincts unknown (light also says in canon that "that notebook has a power that makes you want to try it"; i don't really subscribe to the idea that the notebook controls you but i feel like it's fair enough to say it has some kind of weak draw), and then didn't try it until ryuk showed up and she freaked out.

ryuk would be like well if you don't want to use it then just give it back to me. kiyomi "superiority complex" "control freak" takada refuses immediately. i think she'd rather die than get her memory wiped (i have not thought far enough to get to yotsuba arc yet. don't worry about it) and the idea that ryuk dropped it randomly and giving it back might result in some ~mass murderer~ getting it would be horrifying to her.

so of course she has to use it.

i actually have a different post in my drafts about how i think each dn character would use the death note but here is what i have for her

kiyomi: picks up the death note out of curiosity, scoffs, fully intends to throw it away but forgets until ryuk shows up. at which point she starts killing specific government officials at a rate of about one per day (she can't stomach indiscrete killing the way the others can). all the officials are found with a fingerprint-less knife stuck in their chest, so the police suspect a mundane serial killer, but no level of protection has been enough to save any of them yet. kiyomi probably tries to make them write down political demands as her "calling card" and then gets mad when she can't do that (the death note doesn't allow people to write things they don't know). instead she has to send tapes to sakura tv, where she interns, to get her manifesto out. the one time a knife isn't immediately available, the death note makes the politician die of a heart attack, which the media naturally attributes to stress. but Something Feels Off to L… do you know how much i would pay for the protagonist kiyomi takada version of death note do you KNOW she'd be so insane in a completely different way

i stand by this. kiyomi is way more politically minded than light, she talks to him and mikami about supporting kira entirely of her own volition, her first move when light tells her to start airing her own opinions is to talk about how she thinks the education system should start teaching kids about kira and how kira should instruct the army on how to act. kiyomi takada is fucking terrifying. Do Not Let This Girl Into The Government.

"but she supports the canon kira so wouldn't she act like him?"

well the problem is kiyomi has the intention but never has the resolve until pressed

(i have the manga panels to prove this but i can't be bothered to dig them up right now. sorry. One Day i will write a full kiyomi analysis and it will even be decent)

in this way she is much like chapter 1 light yagami. light going on a murder spree because he thinks his soul is about to be taken = kiyomi shaking and bloody in the back of mello's truck thinking i have to judge as many people as possible right now.

so in this scenario, since she didn't start killing until ryuk showed up and explained things to her, kiyomi is not motivated by fear for her life but rather fear for her memory + her canon support for killing everyone + "if someone else had this they'd do much worse than me" (just like light, with that one) (who else would have the guts?). so she does kill people but not as many. she puts thought into each one. ideally she wants to kill as little as possible for maximum impact.

i think she wavers between staging these deaths as suicides (invoking the societal stigma around them & so that there would naturally be a suicide note, etc) or making them obvious murders and would eventually go with the latter because she . also has a god complex. i mean nooo obviously it's because politicians will be more scared if they know someone's out there to get them!

anyway

what the fuck does the first arc look like

kiyomi imo gets just as mad as light does about being called evil. but unlike light she has more experience being called a cold bitch, snake, little miss perfect, etc, so she sees lind l tailor and does deep breathing exercises because killing him on air would do nothing but traumatize generations of children

so basically the broadcast ends and nothing happens until sometime around midnight lind l tailor drops dead of a heart attack

interpol was originally very mad at L for staging this whole thing because he has far less evidence that the killings are supernatural in this one, but they're kind of creeped out by this because of that other politician who had a heart attack — tailor was in the prime of his health and everything (L picked the death row inmate with the least history of cardiac disorders)

anyway [sighs really hard] this whole plot has to be reworked from the bottom up because kiyomi doesn't have access to police information and, unlike light, is not invested in The Game as much as she is societal change, so she wouldn't want to draw L out and eliminate him in the first place.

(i think kiyomi and light share the same fundamental loneliness in their souls — "if you were smarter this could've been interesting" / "you're the only man i've ever actually admired" — but kiyomi is drawn not just to intelligence but to people who share her principles, whereas light is drawn to people who can beat him at his own game. this is one area where they are different! thank god!)

(you could argue kiyomi is too, considering her reaction to misa, but her immediate response when misa starts getting under her skin is trying to leave)

(and besides i'm not even sure if kiyomi ever realizes lind l tailor was a scheme. like presumably she knows L is still alive and panics the day after when L is like hi. im still here. but since her killing was time-delayed L might not be able to get as much information and so he has no reason to gloat.)

anyway kiyomi's not giving L any clues so basically things are going to be a lot harder for L

but she's also going to spread kira's message through news stations so…………… more information source there? better not fuck up with that voice modulator kiyo

misa as second kira

oh thank god, l lawliet thinks, a development, i was about to die of stagnation

thankfully no matter how things shake out in first arc i think misa would still try to use the tv stations & the fake diary to get to kira, so that doesn't change. although since kira's voice is already becoming established she might have to do it in a more roundabout way (remember she also didn't want the cops to figure out she wasn't the first kira)

maybe this is how we can get manga misa to sing i'll only love you more????

anyway. they meet in aoyama, still. kiyomi went for the same reason light did: she has to size up her threat (see: inviting misa to dinner)

light & kiyomi significant difference no. 2: perceived gender

misa voice kira is a GIRL?!?!?!?!

she still buys all the information she can get on kiyomi. ("kiyomi takada… what a boring name.") (fun fact kiyo's pretty much the only character in death note with an entirely normal name; this is why her death is so shocking)

so misa shows up at her house all casual-like

light & kiyomi significant difference no. 3: where light's thought is "this girl isn't as stupid as i thought" kiyomi's thought is "this girl is the most dangerous person i have ever met"

like as far as kiyomi knows L is kind of useless. misa is the first direct challenge she has ever faced. misa can kill just by looking at a person. misa has a death note and she is sure as hell not giving it to kiyomi.

because if you interpret kiyomi this way, she hasn't avenged misa's parents

(i wonder if i could come up with a reason for her to do that because i admit the whole misa arc doesn't make as much sense otherwise… but let's assume not for now)

so why does misa want to meet up with her anyway?

well. who else is there who would understand.

anyway i kind of picture them close to this yagamane dynamic (sorry yagamane i'm stealing your valor). misa doesn't have any reason to be grateful to kiyomi, but she does want to be useful still, wants to have a purpose. wants to have people she can talk to in perfect honesty, but also has kiyomi's real name dangling over her head at all times and wants her to know that

also. crucially. she wants to have a perfect family because of course she does. in canon light is her gateway to this: by becoming his girlfriend she can integrate into the family dynamic. calls soichiro her dad, calls sachiko her mom… but this doesn't work with kiyomi because she's a girl and misa, as we all know, is totally one hundred percent heterosexual.

so. so:

Kiyomi sighs. "Okay. I… I suppose it's a deal." "Yay!" Amane jumps up and flings her arms around Kiyomi's neck; she's warm and unexpectedly bony and smells like artificially flavored shampoo and Kiyomi's heart spasms in her chest. It's been a long time since anyone's hugged her like this. She's a mature young woman and that means she doesn't hug people. "You won't regret this, Kiyo-chan!" "I am already," Kiyomi mutters. It's far too mean, far too revealing, but — oh, who cares, Amane already knows she's a serial killer. Amane's triumphant smirk as she pulls away carves its way into her skin regardless: she knows Kiyomi didn't mean to say that. "I'm so happy," Amane keeps going, patting her dress down like she's worried Kiyomi's gotten lint on it. "I've always wanted a little sister!" Kiyomi stares. "What." The look Amane casts her is pitying. "Didn't you know? You're a year younger than me." "That is not the problem here," Kiyomi hisses. (It is sort of the problem.) "I'm an only child!" "I know," Amane says very patiently, "I bought all your records, remember? I'm an only child too!" Is this a bonding moment? Is Kiyomi finally experiencing Lady Macbeth insanity? "We don't look anything like each other," she points out. "If you're planning on another disguise—" Amane rolls her eyes. "Ugh, you're so serious all the time. Lighten up a little! I'm joking! We can just be sisters from different mothers, or whatever they say. Together forever, you know? Through thick and thin? You won't die on me, will you?" Kiyomi, being an only child, is not entirely sure what having a sibling is like, but she's pretty sure the rage(?) coiling in her stomach isn't it. "…Not unless you kill me." Amane smiles. It's not as wide as usual. "Well, that's a start."

[reijisteacup]

Hello I want to know how the sakamakis and mukamis would react to this explaining of Diabolik Lovers

okay okay so girl go into weird spooky Disney haunted mansion but these guys are the bleh bleh bleh and they big mean for no reason and their MOMMY try get girl cuz girl have MOMMY heart in girl body second season is basically other bleh bleh bleh guys try get her but the other ones are half baked ones

Pfft LOLL THIS IS FUNNY <3

===================================================================================================

Sakamaki's

Shu Sakamaki:

“……Haunted mansion? Half-baked guys? That’s surprisingly accurate…too accurate.” Honestly? Not mad. Just laying there on the couch like “that tracks.” He might even mumble “I should’ve let the haunted Disney princess escape…” into his earbud. Shrugs. Not worth sitting up over.

Reiji Sakamaki:

“How dare you reduce a complex multigenerational trauma web into... Disney? DISNEY? Do I look like I sing about tea cups?” ( HE TOTALLY WOULD AND IT WOULD BE A VILLAINY ASS SONG) He’s offended on every academic level. Starts writing a 17-page dissertation titled “The Thematic Significance of Sadism and Bloodlines in the Diabolik Narrative.” He would die if you called him a knockoff haunted mansion butler.

Laito Sakamaki:

“Nfu~ You think I’m a ‘bleh bleh bleh’? Then what does that make you, Bitch-chan~? A haunted Disney princess? Fufu~ I kinda like that~” Takes it in stride, turns it into flirtation. He’s way too amused by your description and now won’t stop calling the mansion “Bleh Disneyland.” Keeps using vampire puns for the rest of the week just to mess with you.

Kanato Sakamaki:

“MOTHER…MOTHER WOULD’VE LOVED THIS INSOLENCE! TEDDY, SHALL WE MAKE HER BLEED LIKE THE HALF-BAKED ONES?!” Unstable. Will interpret your words as sacrilege. Calls you a “half-baked mortal” and considers melting your plush collection in a candle jar. No concept of humor. 0/10 safe.

Ayato Sakamaki:

“Oi! ‘Bleh bleh bleh’?! WHO YOU CALLIN’ BLEH BLEH BLEH?! I’m the damn BEST, CHI-SAN!” He’s absolutely offended and confused. He can’t figure out if you’re making fun of him or complimenting him for being the “main bleh bleh bleh.” He would 100% shout “I’m the Protagonist!” while throwing takoyaki at you. Will NOT take being called “mean for no reason” lightly.

Subaru Sakamaki:

“D-DID YOU CALL ME A HALF-BAKED BLEH BLEH BLEH?!?!” Absolutely mortified and enraged. Punches the nearest wall. You're gonna get yelled at with a blushing face like “SHUT UP, DON’T LAUGH!” because you hit a sore spot. Secretly googles what “half-baked” means later just to be sure it’s an insult.

Mukami's

Ruki Mukami:

“Livestock, I don’t recall permitting you to rewrite our history like some twisted children’s cartoon…” He’d take it personally but in that “I’m not mad, just disappointed” kind of way. He might start monologuing about how vampires represent repressed human desires and you’re sullying the narrative with ‘bleh bleh bleh’ jokes. He’s mad—but classy.

Kou Mukami:

“UM?! First of all, I am NOT half-baked—I'm DELUXE. I'm the limited-edition vampire idol model, thank you~!” Screaming. Screeching. He will take this as a PR crisis and demand you take it back publicly. Then he posts an Insta selfie captioned “not your average bleh bleh BLEH.” He's petty but make it fashion.

Yuma Mukami:

“OI, WHO YOU CALLIN’ HALF-BAKED?! I’M BUILT LIKE A DAMN TANK!” He 100% takes this personally. You’ve just declared war on his ego. He might try to “educate” you with aggressive gardening metaphors. Expect a lot of yelling and maybe a carrot being thrown in your direction.

Azusa Mukami:

Bleh…bleh…bleh…? …I don’t…know what that means… but… you sound…funny…” Azusa just tilts his head and nods slowly, thinking you’re being cute. He probably repeats “bleh bleh bleh” to himself in the mirror later while practicing expressions. Genuinely not offended. Now uses “bleh bleh bleh” instead of saying vampire. (You’ve created a monster.)