#or isnt trying to see you like how you'd like. whatever. im pretty sure this happened. but the vlc visit was.
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the day i learned that they poured their oil down the drain instead of throwing it away shouldve been my first signal. and yet i stayed blind
#xarra xarra#me: maybe you shouldnt throw away your oil its not good for the plumbing. them: lol its only a little bit#yeah i get that thats not your house but? oh my god?????#also unrelated but the fact that im the only 'nonbinary' in their '2024 dating wrapped' lol ok. now i just wonder if they count me as masc#or if im just masc Lite to them. i would sooooo ask them. bc idk why (i think im imagining this convo we had im not sure)#but at one point i felt like they implied that they didnt see me that masc at all. which fair bc i dont LOOK too masc#(and definitely not butch). but lol. one thing is to think that and another is to be told that the person u like doesnt see you#or isnt trying to see you like how you'd like. whatever. im pretty sure this happened. but the vlc visit was.#very intense. so i may be projecting
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more things about the livestream experience before i go completely insane.
(warning: this is going to be a long one)
1: why is [bishop] lisden's favorite song mulberry street and why is [bishop] sacarver's favorite (if i remember) the outside or stressed out....i just want to throw that out there
2: i absolutely adore the piano spread whatever thing tyler does before he goes and raps to migrane. i dont know what its called but when he runs his hand across the piano, it was good. how did he make it sound so good and musical...
3: why is the shy away livestream version the only livestream version that is on their official "the story" playlist??? i keep thinking about that (https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL3roRV3JHZzaU_kQ4-7uv-ahPbFabFmRW)
4: also thinking about how they cut off holding onto you before the outro. basically all there was of holding onto you was the "entertain my faith" part...thinking about the lore THERE. how a "good day dema" ad cut off the ending as well then they talk about how happy they are !! then how it goes to mulberry street after dan LISDEN says its his favorite then how it goes so blurry BEFORE THE AD??? ----"entertain my faith" sounds something like he..wants more from the religion but they cut him off from continuing the rest of holding onto you..like he got in trouble or something? i dont know man
5: "dema is bringing you this music collection that is vibrant with saturation"... "dema wants you to enjoy this collection"..."i just felt trapped before having this collection" ... "contentment"...."now that youve heard some of this collection you must be just like us, completely saturated"..."sometimes i close my eyes to try to escape...you know you cant escape sally...yes i know!" PROPAGANDA
6: why is he holding and grabbing his head so much. past the literal deadpan ass stare hes got through the majority if not all of the experience (like even while doing his little dances you'd think he'd be smiling during...), why does he grip his head so often-- i talked about this before but like what are they doing to him man he like grips his head in almost pain so much
7: also thinking about what the lore implications of jenna and debby being in this...because im pretty sure its shown jenna in levitate is a bandito i only assume debby was one too. why are they there?? were they caught too? or did dema make clones of them to use against josh and tyler?
8: "i cant wait to see you again"
9: ”in a world where this is as good as it gets…we miss you. we really do.”
10: also can we discuss the "CONTROLLED by" dma org and good day dema??? this photo is blurry as hell but CONTROLLED BY! not PRODUCTION OF! specific word choice..also dma org...dmaorg.info...why are clancy's letters posted on a website thats directly correlated with dema...letters from his time inside as well as time outside...can we like talk about that--like other than the obvious showcase that they have his letters and are using them to lie to the people, why are they going through dmaorg?? if clancy isnt directly with dema why are they--why are they going through there???
11: the whole cutscene before lane boy "there was a wonderful structure to the city that put my cares to rest and the responsibilities of the day seemed to be accomplished with minimal effort. once a task was taught and understood, our obligations timely, and it felt secure knowing tomorrows duties would be accomplished with the same efficiency. we all worked to represent our bishop with honor knew that each inhabitant of our region had a like-minded dedication to consistency....why do i kneel to these concepts? tempted by control, control by temptation. stay low, they say. stay low," then the direct contradiction of the redecorate rap he inserts, “with the bells and the whistles scaled back like an isolated track, and he feels trapped when he's not inebriated fair to say he's fairly sedated most days of the week. he might have made it if he lived on a different street. i repeat, scaled back and isolated he says he likes an open schedule but he mostly hates it if you're running to his room, take a breath before you break-in put your ear up to the door, tell me can you hear him saying?” using clancy's letters to show praise to dema then clancy (tyler) directly contradicting being like "no i hold zero praise for this city" and saying how hes isolated and sedated when hes not preforming--how he ALMOST made it out. how if he lived A LITTLE closer to the walls he wouldnt be there right now-
12: the way the old songs are "SCALED BACK AND ISOLATED" ???? A SCALED BACK AND ISOLATED TRACK????
13: the way ned is missing in chlorine when he was such a big part of chlorine
14: AGAIN this shy away version. one-why is it so important to the story, two-the 9 chairs for 9 bishops around the table, three-i fucking love the guitarist by josh i love his energy, four-THE WAY HE BREAKS A GLASS WHEN TALKING ABOUT BREAKING THE CYCLE IN HALF???, THE SCREAM !!!! so many things
[so many things you guys]
15: the fucking bishop ass dancers to stressed out....can we discuss that too. ALSO HOW THEY DRAG HIM TO THE NEXT STAGE FOR STRESSED OUT?
16: "but remember you should- *cut off*" YOU SHOULD WHAT SALLY SACARVER????
17: also firstly, how beautiful the ukulele part was...it was so gorgeous, also the transition was amazing. though past that, can we talk about how fucking sad he looked on that little boat with his uke? was that a mock to his escape attempts? to him singing to an empty sky in trench? singing to the banditos as they boat someplace safer? like...
18: THE MOCKING OF THE BANDITOS WITH THE FUCKING JUMPSUIT/HEAVYDIRTYSOULD PART?? why would dema do that? why would the bishops actively make josh and tyler look like the banditos if it wasn't just a mock? they dont like the banditos i thought why would they have them dressed up like that? like torchbearer bringing the torch to the stage and the look josh has on his face-then tyler also being in a bandito outfit. like--it has to be mocking his attempts. mocking the banditos or SOMETHING
19: heathens being in the livestream makes me think a little too but i dont know. "all my friends are heathens take it slow, wait for them to ask you who you know. please dont make any sudden moves you dont know half of the abuse."
20: also first, what was that alarm that was sounded before never take it? what happened there? second, the lore people have posted about never take it and how it was about the bishops? the way it was played while the alarm was going off and it was almost messier filming...
21: HIM ENDING THE LIVESTREAM WITH "nobody's coming for me" and his deadpan look (sobbing)
22: again, bringing up sally sacarver and dan lisden. sacarver and lisden being bishop's names and hosting this livestream. then showing directly how the bodies they are controlling are deteriorating as the show goes on. "The rules are that you can only seize or control a dead body, and only for a short while."
23: also just the heavydirtysoul part. starting to think about the: "I tricked Nico into taking me outside the walls. I created a fiery diversion. I escaped." i just keep thinking about that and:
24: "we've come for you, we've got people on the way, no chances, none at all" the way this is direct quotes from dan and sally, who are bishops, and it is also direct lyrics (or close to direct lyrics) from no chances. it just keeps cementing itself on everything ive already thought about
25: past just the livestream experience what is with josh and the bucket hat lol. i love it but like.-
26: "you ask me if its real, i see your shifting eyes, you dig in your heels, i dig my hole to die" also wondering why the "live from the outside" version is here rather than the original.-is it important
27: his little dances are my favorite thing-
28: CAR RADIO...car radio. thats it thats the point. just the car radio part is everything to me--its giving old car radio performances and im living for it. though also old car radio performances? did they put it together like that on purpose?
29: NEVER TAKE IT HAVING A BURNING CAR HOLY SHIT FIREY DIVERSION? LMAO just how close he is to the camera during this too...so many thoughts
30: "...you know you cant escape sally...yes i know!" IS THIS LIVESTREAM SHOWING CLANCY AND HOW HE DIDN'T ESCAPE EITHER?? SHOWING THAT HE HAS BEEN CAUGHT AND IF HE CANT ESCAPE, THE NOTORIOUS CLANCY, THEN YOU CANT EITHER???! SO MANY THOUGHT!!
[sorry for how long this is-]
DID THIS SHOW HOW MANY THOUGHTS I HAVE HERE. im going insane like i keep thinking about the lore implications of this goddamn livestream. i have more points (i will make a essay list whatever for it all so i don't go any crazier) but this is already a lot for one post. just wanted to like...throw this out there. i know some might be a stretch but please just hear me out. just hear me out :,)
#twenty one pilots#josh dun#clancy#tyler joseph#blurryface#lore#scaled and icy#trench#twenty one pilots livestream experience#twenty one pilots brainrot#im literally dying#so many thoughts im going insane#likeee....its excessive but theres so much#so much on my mind#the brainrot is real#literally send help#i have watched this so many times#its dangerous#my theories#tyler joseph you goddamn genius you#i would give anything#i would give absolutely anything to sit in a room and talk to him about his story#literally anything#i'm literally going insane right now this lore is making me crazy send help#so much shit in my head#i have too much free time#and too many ideas#i feel insane#literally crazy#livestream experience
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im convinced i already sent you an ask abt this but i cannot find it so maybe i hallucinated it? i am rewriting it cuz you are my coolest mutual and also bc its not like i can tell anyone in real life abt this
im Convinced my partner is at least partially transfem but its like. please how do i help em crack their egg
like for context some of the things that they do is: have extremely long hair, loves it when i call em a girl, loves to be called pretty, was so happy when i made em try my dresses, wanted me to put makeup and nailpolish on em, said that theyre fine with any pronouns, straight up told me they tought they were trans for like a week many years ago.... but they still call themselves a cis man
dont get me wrong i have brought this up w em like, as gently as i could, and they said that they kinda knew i had suspicions, and they questioned their gender too, but they are 99% sure theyre not trans. they continue to say they like any pronouns and smile so much when i use feminine pronouns w em.
so on one hand im like. this is your life, and obvs i cant force labels onto you, and sometimes people are just gender noncomforming. on the other hand, im preeeeeeeeettyvsure theres something deeper going on and i want to help my partner but i have no idea what to do
also its not like they dont have enough exposure to trans people, me and the other person in our friend group are both trans :p
I mean, honestly, let em know that they dont have to be a binary trans woman to be trans. If they feel fine with the label of cis man that is fine too! But you dont have to be uncomfortable or unhappy with your gender to be trans, often times someone with a more loose presentation might wonder for a long time because they dont fit the marks, but think 'im fine like this so i guess im not'. The thing is that it can be fine like that, surely, but it can be wonderful when trying other stuff. Honestly just let em know you'd hold their back whatever label they pick, and that labels are fluctuant and not something you gotta pick and stick with it. Also, they could simply not use any labels at all. One could be like 'well i dont think im a trans woman, i dont think im nonbinary, im def not a trans man because thats not my anatomy, so i guess im just cis', and while thats fine too, theres the option to simply be queer, or unlabeled. Let em know that they dont gotta pick something with any rush, that they dont need to define themselves in a word to fit in a twitter bio. If they find cis man descriptive for them, thats also wonderful! I find a lot of joy in seeing cis men use any pronouns and present femeninely. Someday in the future they might go for smth else, and it doesnt make their cis man-ness less true to who they are now, and their autodefinition of 'cis man' now isnt less because of what they might pick next. Make sure they know its a matter of preference and comfort, rather than discomfort and guidelines. Make sure they can be whoever they want around you, which im sure you already do. Talk to them about how they feel, ask them about what the labels they use mean to them and share about the labels you use and the meaning these have for you. We have all the options in the world, always, me, you, them, everyone else who exists. Nothing is permanent and a small change could signify a big joy. Im sorry if this is a big paragraph of 'just be yourself 🏳️🌈 :)', i could probably be of more help if i knew them but alas i hope this is something at least!
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>yeah... i think in pretty much any other timeline im doing that. i came pretty close to going to kamikou instead of miya for a miriyad of reasons and uh... little embarrassing but i was very opposed to speaking to any of my now-girlfriends at the time. self-isolating due to guilt or whatever the therapist said. two or three minor descicion changes and im spending all my time on vivid street.either that or id be an idol... not the biggest fan of that one, given how its fucked up shizuku mentally, but logically it makes sense. kiratani told me about how they scouted her and taught her to get rid of her resting bitch face; they tried to scout me as shizukus sister and theyd probably do something similar with me. i dunno.
ahh, i see... but if being an idol didnt flip you up the way it did to haruka and shizuku, would you try it? Do you think you would be happier if you'd went to kamikou instead? you dont have to answer these!! ooh, but i do have one question! if kamikou and miya became one big big big school with ALLLLLL your friends in it, would you attend that school?
— 🎐
uh, i dunno. i think a big part of being an idol, living that idol life, is the getting fucked mentally. im also not exactly the most flowery person or whatever. id probably get written off as a tomboy or be the "guy's girl" in a otherwise all-boy unit which isnt exactly something id enjoy all too much. im pretty sure someone tried to do the same thing to momoi-san, and she flipped out and quit on the spot. but then again, i might be more okay with that than regular idol stuff, yknow? and... sakis a big fan of idols. thinking back to how i was then... kinda feels bad to admit it, but i wouldve done pretty much anything to make the three of them jealous.
im not really sure how to quantify happiness. at first? yeah, i probably wouldve been better off at kamikou. avoiding people has always been my go-to solution but in the long run im probably better off where i am. it took those three to convince me to deal with emotions in a healthy way and i stil aquise that smashing a guitar is a healthy way to deal with emotions but apparently its "violent and rage-induced" or something. and would i have a sekai if id never made up properly with them? it took meiko and len to get me to open up properly to shizuku and get us to where we are now. i thought i was fine with it but it honestly took a lot of late-night chats with luka to come to terms with the fact im gay. but on the other hand... ive seen vocaloids from a sekai belonging to vivid bad squad on here, and one that i thinks from sakis brothers theater troop. its not all that unlikely that i would end up with another sekai with a different group. theres always the chance i dont do anything to do with music and end up depressed or whatever but i really cant see that happening i think id just make depressed bass music. maybe miku doesnt like depressed music idk. this feels really wrong to say (especially given im dating the other members of my sekai) but i honestly would like to see those other timelines and sekais. is this the best timeline? is there a version of this where im replaced with someone else? is there a timeline where i went to standout properly? is this maybe the worst timeline and im scraping the bottom of the barrel? is there a timeline where imin the grand prix instead of onii-chan? theres a lot of questions to be had.
all i really know is i want to work with music. there isnt a timeline where i measure up to shizuku or dad in that regard. im pretty sure id always have a fragment sekai at least. i think meiko once said that my guilt and regret was on the verge of forming its own sekai, so thats... something. especially if i went to kamikou. that wouldve been an emotional shitshow. basically, i dont know shit.
#ooc: having a mental breakdown on main and writng shiho analysis on the rp blog...#ooc: sors this got really long really quick#ic:shiho#🎐 anon
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I agree with Kishimoto never trying to use the girls. The hate they get is not fair. I used to defend Sakura back in the days because I hoped kishi would do her justice. When shippuden started I WAS SO HAPPY because I thought this was the start of something great for Sakura and the girls but NOOOOO. Every time, Sasuke showed kishi turned her brainless. If you compare Naruto's actions and Sakura's actions to sasuke, you'd see they're completely different. What's up with that weird fake love confession scene 😭? It makes her look like she was manipulating Naru. JEEZ.
Also he literally had badass Tenten and Temari with cool useful abilities and he didn't use them ?! TF ?! Thank god for modern authors who treat their characters with respect :)
okay2 you know how i am with these longass rants so click readmore and brace yourselves
The way I see it, Sakura's character development in shippuden was always one step forward, two steps back. She gets this really badass scene (like her fight with Sasori and those cool ass medical skills) but is then regressed back into a pining girl in love every time Sauce is on screen or Kishi just throws her in the background YET AGAIN.
I love Sakura's abilities actually. Her brute strength, intelligence, vast knowledge and skill as a medic nin. But what I dislike about her character is how kishi handled her feelings for Sasuke. Naruto and Sakura's obsession with Sasuke was so???? huh??? it was so damn toxic and i never once understood why both Nardo and Sak were so obsessed with him. They were a team for one year???? I mean its great that they care about him alot but Sauce's feelings were kinda valid. His freakin clan died. Id go batshit crazy against my own village too. BUT BESIDES THAT. Both Nart and Sakura's Sasuke obsession was so annoying. 80% of shippuden was literally Keeping up with the Uchihas or Naruto yelling SASUKEH. BUT what irks me so much is the fandom's double standards with both Naruto and Sakura. "Oh Sakura shouldve gotten over her Sasuke obsession" but then turn around and call Naruto's obsession cute and gush about how he's so in love with him!!
Hot take but the only reason why sasunaru is "the most developed ship with the most chemistry" is because theyre both male characters.
I guarantee you if Naruto was a girl and SHE would be the one to have this unhealthy obsession who was chasing around Sasuke, the fandom would shit on Naruto just as much. And if Sasuke were a girl, Sauce would be sidelined like the rest of the female cast and Naruto would have another male character to have a "brotherly bond" with, because thats the only bond Kishimoto is actually good at developing. Yey for male characters having all the screentime and cool assets <333
And about that confession scene, I get her intentions. I really do. I understand that she did that in order to bring him home and that she cares about him but honey, w-why?? Why lie to him about your feelings?? Supposed he DID believe her, then what? then what kishi???? huh??? Some of her fans point the blame on Sai or whatever but I personally dont see why that scene was at all necessary. Maybe to establish Naruto's feelings for her wasnt all that serious? or his maturity? idk man. That scene was such a clusterfuck.
In the end her development in The Last and in Boruto was immaculate. She had one of the best glow ups in the old gen and ironically enough, her character wasn't butchered in Boruto. She got badass scenes she was cheated from in shippuden. I also love how she's finally getting the spotlight she deserves. Unlike the other konoha 12 :,)))
Okay onto the next female character that Kishi completely wasted. My baby. My light. 🙈 AAAHHH HINATAA.
I DONT EVEN KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN OKAY2 DEEP BREATHS.
Let me just establish this real quick. Hinata's goal was to get stronger because of Naruto, her goal was never to be with Naruto. She wanted to become someone who is worthy enough to stand beside him, someone whom he can consider as an equal, as a partner. She NEVER once said "marrying Naruto-kun is my all time goal UwU" (if youre one of those weirdos who interpret her character that way, youre immediately invalid, go take a hike)
I personally dont have anything against their crushes but to the point of making their personalities revolve around these guys every time theyre onscreen is so fucking frustrating. And with the way he writes their dialogues is so.damn.cringey. Like that one scene in the war arc with Tsunade and Madara
"I mAy bE a WomAn but I aM nOt WeAAKKKK"
BAAHAHAAHHA WHAT?? Everyone else gets coolass monologues and one liners but thats the best you can come up with Kishi?????? Hilarious.
If im being honest. Hinata's character is actually kinda well written. Not well executed. Dear God no. But with the way he set her story, her personality, her chracterization. She's honestly one of the best written female characters on the show. IMO. By Kishi's standards of writing women ofc. She's hands down one of the most complex characters. Her shy personality wasnt out of the blue, it wasnt a cutesy waifu trait. Her abusive upbringing made her that way. Her trauma turned her that way. So yeah, sue her if she looked up to Naruto as an inspiration when everyone else in her family treated her like dust. Shit on her for having Naruto's love light in her dark when her own damn father wouldnt even look her in the eye and her entire clan shunned her because she was "weak." She doesnt owe her family shit so idgaf what they do with the Hyuga clan. Neji and Hanabi aren't included btw
Im not gonna deny that her role in the show was only as the love interest but tbh for a love interest, Im glad her character wasnt so one dimensional. It just pains me SO MUCHHH how fucking wasted she is. Every time she's with Naruto, they always make her into a damsel in distress. They always feel the need to turn Naruto into the heroic prince. How cute.
LIKE THAT ONE SCENE IN THE LAST WHERE SHE'S THROWN IN THE CAGE?? WHY??? LET NARUTO AND HINA FIGHT THAT FREAKING ALIEN GOD TOGETHER. QUIT WITH THE TOXIC MASCULINITY. WE GET IT. NARUTO'S STRONG. GOOD FOR HIM. NOW LETS SEE HINATA THROW HANDS AND PUT NARUTO IN THE CAGE GODAMMIT
Hnggggg dont get me started with her role in Boruto. She's as relevant as a damn houseplant in the manga. They made her into an invisible trophy wife and "the mc's mother" and we all KNOW what happens to the shounen mc's mother once mc is in need of character development :) Quit putting her in the background. Give us that scene where she won against Hanabi DESPITE being retired for years. Give us that scene where she trains Boruto. GIVE US ANY FIGHT SCENE OF HER WHERE HER POTENTIAL ISNT WASTED WTF?¿
Now if you say that Hinata didnt have development. YOURE INVALID. She came from an abusive household, the shyest girl in her class, her insecurities got in the way of her own confidence, had difficulty of standing up for herself now became a loving mother of two, has the guts to kick her husband out of the house(with whom she couldnt even keep eye contact with when she was a kid) became the strongest hyuga, most supportive wife and mother, and has given her kids the comforting childhood she never had as a kid.
She has one of the most beautiful stories in the show and if you think her personality is only Naruto-kun and big boobs, then im sorry that you cant appreciate such a heartwarming story.
And I agree, killing her would honestly make me feel more at ease than continue to see her suffer because of godawful misogynistic writers. But at least let her die in an epic fight. Please. PLEASEE. She got nerfed so bad, i feel a physical pain every time i think about it
Okay what else. I think Ino got pretty good development. Another wasted potential in shippuden but she's doing good for herself in Boruto. I dont know what Temari is up to. They basically made her into another classic angry mom who beats up her husband for comedy trope. Haha very funny and original! Im not sure with her career, im not that invested in the anime.
Tenten??
oh G O D Tenten. The dirtiest of all. Her jokes about her screentime is so mean and i hate that its true ahsjhs. She was the only female character in OG who's goal wanted to be as strong as Tsunade but what did Kishi do to her?? Sidelined. Forgotten. Irrelevant. Like every damn female on the show :D
Konan shouldnt have died. I blame plot armor. I know in my heart that Konan wouldve kicked Obito's ass if it weren't for Kishi's boomer mindset.
Tsunade had so much hype when she was introduced but died down in the war arc. Madara wiped the floor with the kages. Holy shit. Not only that, but yipee! Naruto is there to save the day AGAIN!!!!
AND UGHHHH If the female characters were given proper treatment then maybe MAYBE all the endgame couples wouldve made fucking sense????¿¿¿
I think that ends my rant. Im not sure how the female characters in Boruto are handled. Except maybe Sarada (she's pretty well executed in the manga imo). But arguably they are sooo much better handled in Boruto than how the old gen girls were. And thats because Kishi isnt anywhere near the new gen female cast. I cant formulate a solid opinion with the other new gen female cast since im not entirely invested in the anime. Not ashamed to admit that I only watch it for the sunshine moments and for Hinata :DD
#and *scene#salty char.txt#char complains about Naruto AGAIN#yey#please end my suffering#i need to leave this fandom what am i still doing here#naruto#day 202 of WTF KISHI#i think i got that out of my system
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