#or is that just me. is it just me that didn't have the World's Leading [Instrument] Player

[damneddamsy]

falling | joel miller x fem!oc (part ii)

summary: Joel Miller never expected much out of Jackson—just a quiet place to live out the days he had left. But when a baby’s cries lead him to a mother unravelling under the pressure of nursing her child she never asked for, he finds himself tangled in something he can’t walk away from—no matter how much he tells himself he should.

a/n: on today's episode of 'angry idiots and sad assholes', introducing the one and only Joel Miller! I let out a few tears writing this one, too, it's really painful when you think about how Joel probably perceives himself, or how I think he does. onto other happier news, I simply cannot believe the kind of response the first part garnered, and I'm shook! rise up, depression girlies!!! To everyone who responded in the comments and reblogs, I've read them all twice over and giggled and twirled my hair and threw up butterflies. Thank you, and I hope you like this one! :)

Joel settled into his routine like a man settling into an old wound. Patrols, clearing trails, the stables, the repair shop, the bar, dinner in silence, rinse and repeat. It was easier that way—easier than thinking too much about a vain attempt. He ignored his neighbour’s existence completely. At least, that’s what he told himself.

But ignoring something didn’t make it disappear.

Every morning, he still ended up at the dining table—the one he never used—sipping his coffee too slow for his patience, gaze drawn to the big white house across the street like a goddamn magnet. Watching for movement. Watching for them.

And he fucking hated it.

Hated the part of him that waited, that noticed, that took account of the smallest details like they meant anything to him. Like he still had a reason to care.

Sometimes, Maya fussed too much, and Leela would come outside, her hair a little unkempt, gait all botched, but her hands steady as she cradled her baby against her chest. He saw her murmuring softly to the baby girl, pointing to the sky, the trees, the shifting clouds, the falling snow. A little trick from Maria, he figured. It worked well enough. Maya would quiet, those big brown eyes so curious, distracted by the vastness of the world she barely understood.

And Leela—she still looked tired. Still looked like she was moving through a fog, unseeing, carrying more than just the baby in her arms. But she took to Maya differently now, touched her calmly, like she was no longer afraid she might break her.

That was good. That meant she was doing fine. That meant she didn’t need him. And that meant Joel could stop worrying about the things that weren’t his to worry about.

Joel was outside, tightening the hinges on his porch gate, bracing against the cold, when he heard her steps crunching in the snow. Still quiet. Still waiting. He didn’t look up right away, just kept his focus on the task in front of him. If she needed something, she’d say it.

"Good morning, Joel," Leela greeted warmly.

Joel gave a short nod, adjusting the grip on his screwdriver. "Mornin’."

She lingered there. Honestly, he just wished she’d just go back inside. So, he kept working, unbothered, and didn't look up.

"Loose hinges?" she asked.

Courtesies. He wasn't falling for it. "Mhm."

He knew when he wasn't wanted. She was finding her feet now, somewhat starting to take care of herself, carefully taking care of Maya. She didn’t need him checking in, didn’t need him hovering. And maybe—maybe that should’ve felt like a relief. It didn’t.

"You need anything else?" he asked, voice gruffer than he meant it to be.

"No, I just..." Leela wavered, softly, like she already knew he was about to shut her down. "I wanted to say thank you. For helping me out these few weeks. I couldn't have done it without you."

Joel finally glanced up at that. Just a flicker.

Leela shifted in her puffy pants, adjusting Maya against her shoulder. The baby girl was bundled up tight, small fists curled into her mouth, watching him with that blank, childlike wonder in big eyes. It took every bit of strength he had to not fall for that, and just forget everything that happened.

Joel hung his head, nodding again, keeping his focus downward on the screw.

She was being friendly. Trying to meet him halfway. And he hated that this was what it had come to—that she felt like she had to say something, to extend some kind of olive branch, when all he’d done was build a wall between them. For no fucking reason.

He straightened up with a muffled grunt, wiping his hands on his jeans. "Nothin’ to thank me for. It was all you."

She half-laughed, something wry and knowing. "I know that's not true."

Joel glanced up, stiffening, but she wasn’t looking at him, just rubbing slow circles into Maya’s back, pressing a slow kiss to the top of her head, consoling herself.

He knew what she was doing. He wasn’t stupid.

She was trying to make things normal again. Like they hadn’t spent nights under the same roof. Like he hadn’t seen her fall apart. Like she wasn’t still here, right now, offering him something—a small, careful thing—and he was too much of a coward to take it.

So he didn’t.

Joel scratched the back of his neck with the screwdriver, rolling the tension out of his shoulders. "You oughta get inside," he said instead. "It’s too cold for the kid."

Leela’s expression flickered. Not hurt. Just resigned. He felt like he'd ripped the bandaid off a baby.

"Okay. Yes." She slowly nodded but hesitated a step back. Then—too quietly, almost like an afterthought—"It’s nice to see you around, Joel."

And with that, she started back down the road, holding Maya closer by her head, and Joel let out a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding. That was better. Cleaner.

He grabbed his tools and turned back to his door, locking his jaw. He hadn’t meant to come off short, but it was better this way. Best to stay in his own lane. Best not to make something out of nothing. That’s what he told himself.

But later that night, when he was eating that damn delicious soup she’d left for him by his door—still warm, still considerate—he felt like a grade-A asshole.

From then on, it was Tommy who had taken over fixing the nursery, finishing what Joel had started. He figured that was for the best. It kept things clean. Tied up loose ends. He had no business stepping into that house anymore, no reason to.

And yet, his eyes always caught the details—the way the curtains in the nursery window shifted, the way light flickered between the slats, the way the wood he had sanded and painted was still unfinished, the way Tommy started bringing someone else along.

Mal.

Joel had seen him before, a younger guy with an afro that Tommy had taken under his wing. Handy with repairs, and good with his hands. Nothing special.

At first, Mal actually worked. Brought his toolbox, put up a few shelves, and nodded along to whatever Tommy said. Kept to himself. But then—things started changing. Mal started staying longer. Talking... to her. Right on the front stoop until the sun went down.

It was fine at first. Two steps between them. Then one. Then none at all. Soon, he was leaning close on the porch railing, shoulders nearly brushing hers, speaking in low, easy tones that Joel couldn’t quite make out from across the street. And then—laughter. Leela’s laughter. Soft, hesitant, but real.

More than Joel had ever gotten out of her. Not that he’d ever tried.

Tommy and Maria stopped coming around entirely. It was just Mal now. Every goddamn day. He’d stroll up, toolbox in hand, tap on the door, and then—nothing. No sounds of work being done. No hammering, no shifting furniture. Just conversation.

Joel told himself it didn’t matter. Repeated it like a prayer, like a lesson he should’ve learned by now. That whatever Leela did, whoever she let into her home, was none of his business. That was the whole point of leaving, wasn’t it? Cutting ties, walking away.

He didn’t care about the way Mal lingered on that porch, didn’t care about the way Leela had started looking at him—not quite wary, not quite inviting. Like she was still learning how to trust people but was willing to try. Didn’t care about the way Maya reached for Mal, the tiny fingers curling into his beard, the easy way Mal let her.

And yet, he always saw it.

The way Mal leaned just a little closer, the way Leela’s shoulders, once so tight and drawn, started to loosen. The way her fingers twisted in the fabric of her sleeves when she spoke to him, soft and hesitant, like she wasn’t sure if she was allowed to enjoy the conversation.

Joel hated how much he noticed. It was worse when he overheard them.

He'd been out all damn day. Sun up to sundown, rifle slung over his shoulder, dealing with raiders, clickers, and everything in between. The kind of day that made his bones ache, that made his back scream when he so much as breathed wrong. The kind of day where all he wanted was to go home, put his feet up, and maybe—just maybe—close his eyes for longer than ten damn minutes.

But no. Because just as he was rounding the corner to his place, the world ready to lay even more shit on him, he heard them.

"You mean to tell me no one's ever spun you around before?" Mal was saying.

Joel's step faltered. He should’ve kept walking. Should’ve ignored it. But of course, he didn’t. Joel adjusted his grip on the sack slung over his shoulder, slowing his pace, letting their voices drift through the cold evening air.

Leela snorted, light and dismissive. "Like dancing?"

"Exactly like," Mal confirmed, smooth as you please. "Having a little fun, letting go, feeling the music. Bet you don’t do much of that."

Joel’s fingers curled around the strap of his bag, grip tightening.

"There's more pressing matters than romance," Leela muttered, but she was laughing.

Joel didn’t like that one bit. He didn’t like the way she said it. Playful. Entertained. That was the first thing that rubbed Joel the wrong way. The second was the way the kid kept talking.

"Well, I bet Maya’s never even seen her mama all dolled up before, huh? Imagine that, baby girl," Mal cooed, and Maya's sweet crool followed like a melody.

Fuck this.

Joel didn’t hear Leela’s response, didn’t hear whatever she said next, because he was already moving—boots heavy, hands fisted, the strap of his bag biting into his palm.

The frozen dirt beneath his boots crunched as he made his way there, shoulders squared, hackles raised, barely restraining the urge to grab that kid by the collar and shake some goddamn sense into him.

Because who the hell did this punk think he was?

Talking like that, acting like Leela was some blushing girl to be sweet-talked. Like she hadn’t spent the last few weeks barely holding herself together. Like she hadn’t bled for that kid in her arms. Like Joel hadn’t been the one who—

He stopped himself there. Tamped it down. Shoved it deep into the pit of his stomach where all the other shit lived.

Instead, he turned away, kept his head down and walked straight home, fists tight around anything. By the time he kicked the door shut behind him, his jaw ached from how hard he’d been clenching it. Fucking Mal.

Joel dumped the sack of supplies on the table and went straight for the bottle. Pulled the cork out with his teeth, and poured himself a glass with a hand that was damn near steady.

He took a sip. Let it burn. Let it settle. Then he muttered, "Goddamn kid."

He wasn’t mad. Not really. Because why should he be?

She liked him. Sure, he wanted her to be happy. If that happened, he'd finally get a good night's sleep. And yet, it wouldn't mean a fucking thing to him if Mal was the reason. One day when he's going to see her and Mal inside her home, silver rings glinting off their hands, little Maya nestled between them, the picture of a perfect family...

Joel knocked back the rest of the whiskey and swallowed hard. Good. That was good. Good for her. She didn't need him. Maya wouldn't need him. He'd butt out and live alone, in peace.

He set the glass down a little harder than he meant to. Stared at it. Then, just to be sure, he muttered it out loud.

"Ain't my problem."

But the facts remained.

She still wasn’t eating much or sleeping well. The dark circles under her eyes hadn’t faded. She still rubbed at her temples when she thought no one was looking, still blinked a little too long, like she was fighting off exhaustion every second of the day. Food was out of compulsion, not hunger, for the sake of staying healthy for Maya.

And then, one night, he saw her asleep on the porch swing. Curled in on herself, arms tucked tight, shivering slightly against the cold, exhaustion dragging her under where she sat.

It took everything in him not to walk over and wake her. To shake her by the shoulder, drag her inside, make sure she was warm. It took everything in him not to care.

Because this wasn’t his anymore. He had no claim over them.

Didn’t change the fact that every time he saw Mal leaning against that railing, looking like he belonged there like he’d always belonged there—that knot in his chest twisted tighter.

And he hated that, too.

X

Joel had truly been looking forward to dinner. It was the same thing every week. He’d go over to Tommy's, have a decent meal, shoot the shit with his brother, and let Ellie fill in the gaps of conversation. It was comfortable. Familiar. Nice. A welcome change from the silence of his own home, from days spent running the same damn circuit—patrol, repairs, the bar, then back to a house that wasn’t a home, not really.

But tonight, something was off. Joel could feel it from the moment he sat down.

Maybe it was the way Maria and Ellie kept glancing at him like they were waiting for something. Or maybe it was just Tommy—sitting across from him, chewing through a mouthful of steak, his expression too nonchalant like he had something up his sleeve.

Joel didn’t think much of it at first. He focused on his food, carving through the meat, grounding himself in the scrape of his fork against the plate.

Then Tommy opened his big hole of a mouth.

"Mal’s been spending a lot of time over at Leela’s place."

Joel’s hand tensed around his knife. And just like that, his appetite was gone. He kept his face neutral and didn’t look up. Just kept chewing, lagging and deliberate motions, like he hadn’t heard a damn thing.

Tommy, either oblivious or just plain cruel, kept going. "Helpin’ out with the nursery. Putting some time in with the baby girl." He ripped a piece of bread in half, completely unaware of the way Joel’s grip had turned his fork into a weapon. "Good guy. He and Leela get along well. It's nice to see."

Joel exhaled slowly through his nose. Focused on his plate. Flattened a piece of potato with the back of his fork. It didn’t matter. It wasn’t his problem. That was the whole goddamn point, wasn’t it?

He’d helped Leela out. Gave her time. Took care of her baby. That was it. She was somebody else’s problem now. And yet, the idea of some guy stepping into his place, rocking Maya to sleep, working on the nursery, fixing things, being there—his mouth flattened into a hard line. It stung.

No. It wasn’t his place to care. He'd told himself so many times, it felt like one of those daily affirmations bullshit. Thou shall not think of thy neighbour's handyman and his fuckeries.

Though, still, before he could stop himself, the words were already out of his mouth. "Nursery ain’t even done yet."

The second it left him, he regretted it. A beat of silence.

Then, slowly, too slowly, Joel looked up—and immediately hated what he saw. Maria and Ellie were smirking. That stupid, all-too-knowing, ready-to-annoy-the-shit-out-of-him-smirk. He had the greatest urge to leave the room.

Maria lifted an eyebrow. "And how exactly would you know that, Joel?"

Joel pursed his lips casually, setting his fork down with a little too much care. "They live right across the damn street. Hard to miss."

Ellie leaned forward, propping her chin on her fist. "Right. And how much time do you spend looking across the damn street?"

He massaged the bridge of his nose. "Don’t start, Ellie."

Tommy tilted his head, giving him a look that made Joel want to knock his damn teeth out. "You’ve been actin’ real funny ever since you left that house, y’know."

"Ain’t nothin’ to act on," Joel muttered, shifting in his seat. "I helped her out. End of story. Moving on."

Tommy wasn't letting go, damn him. "Uh-huh. Then why you sittin’ here lookin’ like you just bit into a bad lemon the second her name came up?"

Joel’s jaw ticked.

"Yeah," Ellie added, grinning. "Why’s your face doing that thing?"

Joel frowned. "What thing?"

She pointed with her fork to the furrows above his eyebrows. "The thing where you pretend you don’t care, but your forehead says otherwise."

Maria hid a knowing smile behind her glass while Joel rubbed at his face consciously, glaring over at Ellie. "You could just go over there, you know."

Joel let out a short, humourless chuckle. "Oh, c'mon. For what?"

"Dinner," she said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Just a meal with friends. Tommy, me, you, Ellie—Leela and Maya. Nothing big."

Joel stared down at his plate. His food had gone cold.

"We don’t need to be doin’ all that," he muttered, shaking his head. Getting familiar and cosy. It'd only invite more trouble.

Maria ignored him. "She’s got that nice, big dining room. French windows. Good view of the lawn. It’d be like a little party."

Joel didn’t respond.

"Come on, man," Tommy pressed. "What’s stopping you?"

That was the question, wasn’t it? Joel wasn’t sure he had an answer. Or maybe he did—and just didn’t want to say it.

Because the truth was, he had no business going back. He’d done what he came to do. He’d helped. That was it.

But then there was Maya—her featherlight body in his arms, the way she’d reached for his shirt in her sleep. There was Leela—standing in the doorway that last morning, silent, watching him go. There was the stillness in his own house, the way he’d catch himself in the middle of the night, listening for a cry that never came. What the hell was wrong with him?

Instead, he just stabbed his fork into his potato and muttered, "Pass."

Maria and Ellie exchanged another conspiratorial glance. And Joel had the distinct feeling this wasn’t over.

Once dinner had progressed into a chore, Ellie and Joel, ever the gentleman, helped Tommy dry the dishes. Well—Joel did. Ellie, on the other hand, was just sitting on the counter, swinging her legs and cracking jokes about Tommy’s new manbun. The kitchen was warm, the soft clatter of dishes filling the space and laughter, the steak dinner still settling in Joel’s stomach.

“You’re really doing the whole ponytail thing now, huh?”

Tommy rolled his eyes, flicking on the tap. “Jesus, you sound like Joel.”

“Hey, you take that back! I am way cooler than Joel,” Ellie corrected. “And I'm a thousand times funnier. Pun-nier.”

“Debatable,” Joel muttered.

“Did Maria do this to you?” she asked, flicking a sudsy fork in Joel’s direction. “Blink twice if you need help. I've got emergency scissors.”

Tommy snorted, stacking the last plate in the cabinet. ���It’s practical. And I'm starting to like it.”

Ellie tilted her head, unimpressed. “It's lazy. Tragic.”

Joel smirked but said nothing, wiping down a plate before handing it over. Tommy shot him a glare like he was expecting some backup, but Joel just shrugged. Not his fight.

Maria walked in from behind them, and Joel noticed that infuriating look on her face. Oh, nothing good would come out of this. She set a small box on the counter with a dull thud, right beside Joel. He barely glanced at it before she plopped another paper box on top—leftovers from tonight. Steak and potatoes just for a special someone.

“Could you pass this on to Leela on your way back?” she said casually, drying her hands. “It's one dose a day, each.”

Joel looked down, his hands bracing against the counter. Vitamins. Of course.

Maria tapped the food box. “And dinner.”

Joel eyed them both, then her. The way she said it, like it was no big deal. Like she hadn’t just put him in a position he couldn’t easily wiggle out of.

He sighed, already seeing where this was going. He set down the dish towel, rubbing the back of his neck. “Tommy can pass it to her tomorrow.”

Maria simply raised an eyebrow. “Meat’s gonna go bad.”

Joel narrowed his eyes. “Oh, so this is how you’re gonna play it?” He glanced at Tommy, then Ellie, both of whom were very pointedly looking elsewhere. “Really?”

Ellie grinned. “It’s a neighbourly thing to do, Joel. Don't you call yourself a gentleman?”

“I’m with her on that one,” Tommy added, crossing his arms.

Joel let out a slow, irritated breath. Family? No, just a bunch of annoying, traitorous little shits.

Maria only smiled, sliding the box closer to him. “Wouldn’t want her going without. She's already skin and bones. And you know... you live right across the damn street.”

Ellie burst out laughing, raising her fist to Maria, who bumped with her own knowing smile. “Respect.”

Joel clenched his jaw. She'd got him right where she wanted. Because now, if he didn’t take the stupid thing, he’d look like an asshole. And Maria knew that. She was being fucking shameless about it.

His gaze flickered down to the box. Then, before he could stop himself and leave them standing, an image surfaced—Leela, sitting on that damn porch swing, curled up against the cold. Maya’s tiny fingers tugging at her collar, red-cheeked, catching swirling snow in her dark curls.

Joel closed his eyes briefly. He couldn't shake it off. And he admitted it to himself, despite all his grievances against this, he missed them. He missed Leela's soft footsteps in the nursery past midnight, he missed Maya entirely. He missed the sense of normalcy once the blood and gore of patrol ended, to head to a warm home and lay down, exhausted, knowing he hadn't had a drink to fall asleep.

Then, wordlessly, he grabbed the boxes off the counter.

Ellie elbowed Tommy in the ribs, giggling. “See? Look at him. Good ol’ Joel, real man of the people.”

Joel shot her a warning look while heading over to grab his jacket, the delivery under his arm. “Don’t push it, kid.” Then pointed a threatening finger at Tommy as he yanked the front door open. “Can't believe we're related.”

Tommy only puckered his lips at him, miming a kiss. “Mensch Miller.”

X

The house across the street was unlocked again.

Joel stood at the threshold, jaw clenched, boots planted firm against the porch floorboards. The door was cracked open, swaying slightly from the evening breeze, the light from inside spilling out onto the steps. Did she even care about safety? It should’ve been locked. It should’ve been bolted shut, curtains drawn, an armoury stacked by the doorway. But Leela still acted like the world wasn’t what it was. Like Jackson was different.

It had been a whole two months since Leela brought Maya into this world, a month of struggling, of barely eating, barely sleeping, barely breathing. And now she had the nerve to leave her door wide open like she was inviting trouble? Like Jackson was some safe little haven where nothing bad could ever happen? A dangerous thing, that kind of trust. He’d seen what happened to people who had it.

His jaw ticked. He took the porch steps two at a time and pushed the door open without knocking.

Inside, the air was warm, thick with the scent of woodsmoke and something faintly sweet—baby powder, maybe, or that lavender soap Maria kept handing out. The fire crackled low in the hearth, throwing restless shadows across the room, licking at the edges of the high-backed armchair and the mathematics-riddled books and papers neatly stacked up in scatters.

And there she was, standing in front of it. Leela was running a brush through her hair, violently. Dragging it down, tangling it further, hissing under her breath when it snagged. Frustrated, impatient. Needed a haircut.

The same damn nightgown again. White, sleeveless, falling in soft folds just past her knees. But this time, his eyes caught the details—the way a single pearl button at her collar had been left open carelessly, the way the thin cotton made the dark silhouette of her body visible beneath, and the odd little cherries sewn sparsely into the fabric. Small, stitched by hand.

He had no idea why all that stood out to him. It just did. And boy, did it leave nothing to the imagination.

Leela stilled, catching sight of him in the doorway. The brush hung mid-stroke in her hand.

“Oh,” she said, like he hadn’t just barged into her house uninvited. “Hello.”

Her eyes and voice were warm. Soft, as if this was nothing out of the ordinary, as if she wasn’t standing there in nothing but a slip of a dress while the light of the fire turned her edge golden.

Joel forced his gaze away. His eyes flicked over the living room instead, to the couch against the far wall—his couch, as much as he hated to admit it. The blankets were still there, folded neatly, stacked with the pillows like she’d been expecting him to come back. His grip tightened around the boxes in his hands.

“I—” He cleared his throat, stepping forward, extending the boxes toward her. “Maria sent you some stuff.”

Leela blinked again before setting the hairbrush down, padding toward him on bare feet. She took the boxes gently, fingers barely brushing his. “Thank you, Joel,” she murmured, flashing a little smile.

“Just vitamins,” he played off.

She pried the lid off the larger box and inhaled deeply. He caught the way her nose twitched, her fingers tightening just a fraction around the edges.

“Her famous steak dinner,” he offered her.

And then, like clockwork, her stomach betrayed her, the low grumble cutting through the quiet between them. She stiffened, laughing, breathless and sheepish.

“Sorry.”

“You should eat—”

A sharp cry cut through the air, calling for her. Both their heads swung toward the staircase.

Leela sighed first, setting the boxes away. “Napkin,” she murmured, as if reciting from a schedule. “Please help yourself to anything. I’ll be right back.”

But Joel stepped forward, one arm extended, the box acting as a barrier between her and the stairs. He despised the unfamiliarity.

"Eat," he said, firm.

She hesitated. Her gaze flickered between him and the staircase, like she was weighing her options, debating whether to argue or just go along with it.

Another cry echoed from upstairs—short, needy. Joel could tell. It wasn’t hunger, wasn’t pain. Little Maya was lonely already.

“I got this,” he assured.

Leela chewed her lip. “But—”

“I know the drill.” He jerked his chin toward the kitchen. “Just eat.”

A long moment passed, heavy with hesitation. Then, finally, she relented, her shoulders sagging as she breathed in surrender. She took the box from him.

“I’ll grab a fork, I guess,” she muttered, turning toward the kitchen.

Joel smothered a grin while watching her go, and took the stairs two at a time, powerless to his anticipation. Two weeks since he held the baby girl. He'd missed the shit out of her, not that he would admit that to anybody. Of course, he wasn't about to pass up this chance for anything.

From the landing, the nursery's door cracked open, light from the hallway bleeding into the dim room. Joel frowned as he leaned in to inspect.

The first thing he noticed was that the crib had moved. His boots made no sound over the wooden floor as he stepped inside, scanning the space. The wooden shelves were up, already home to Maya's folded clothes, towels and napkins. The light installation dangled halfway, unfixed. No one had even begun work on painting the walls. No armchair. No rug.

This Mal guy was a complete jackass. Maya's nursery was a mess.

"Good with his hands, my ass," Joel muttered. "What a fuckin' tool."

Joel angrily followed the hallway light, stepping through the open doorway into the furthest bedroom, a room bigger than any he’d ever seen in Jackson.

Massive was an understatement. This was the kind of bedroom you’d see in a damn commercial—the kind of thing he would’ve scoffed at, once upon a time. The bed alone was ridiculous. Olympic-sized, sunken into a floor for itself, with plush, overstuffed pillows and thick sheets, barely disturbed. A sliding-door closet stood at the far end, pristine, untouched. A plasma-screen TV mounted to the opposite wall, thick with dust.

Joel’s lips pressed into a thin line. There was something unnatural about it. The way it felt more like a untouched display than her bedroom.

Maya’s cries pulled him from his thoughts. Joel crossed the room, approaching the crib—the one he’d worked on. All pink and polished for the spoiled little girl.

The moment she saw him, her cries hitched. Big, teary brown eyes blinked up at him, wide and glistening, like she was struggling to focus. She sniffled, tiny fists flexing against the mattress, mouth wobbling around her jutting tongue, as if trying to place him.

Joel couldn't resist a grin, brushing a coarse knuckle at her soft cheek.

“Hi, baby girl.” Then leaned closer to whisper, “Traitor.”

Maya sniffled, blinking again, then reached for him—small fingers curling, grasping blindly before finding his much larger one, tugging it toward her mouth. She gummed at his gnarled knuckles with a fussy little noise, her brows furrowing in concentration.

He chuckled, shaking his head. “That ain't fair. That's your apology?”

Maya made another small whimper of a sound. And a real smile. A big, toothless, gummy grin, full of warmth and recognition. Something nearly uncoiled at his ribs.

He pulled a so-so face. “Hm, I'll bite.”

It was muscle memory, really. The way his hands moved—effortless, practised. He'd done it more than fifty times in two weeks. He made quick work of the napkin, wiping her clean, then slid his hands beneath her arms, lifting her up in one smooth motion.

He grunted as he did, “C'mere, sweetheart. You beautiful, beautiful girl. Did you miss me, huh?”

She squealed, legs kicking excitedly as he cradled her against his chest, supporting her head the way he always did. And just like that, he eased into the old rhythm without thinking. That familiar weight against him, that warmth—gentle, swaying, murmuring under his breath. It was easy. Too easy. Like breathing. Like falling asleep.

She nestled into his shoulder, tiny fist pressing against his neck, seeking his warmth. She’d gotten bigger. Not by much, but enough. Still delicate, still small—but stronger now. More aware. Smart, like her mother.

"Yeah, you missed me," he murmured when she nuzzled against his neck.

And then—pure, infallible instinct—he dipped his nose into her hair and breathed her in deep. Soft linen and old cotton, warm and faint.

Sarah used to smell like this once. For just a little while. That same invisible claw tore at his memories. Joel closed his eyes, just for a second. He remembered how, when she outgrew it, he'd missed it terribly. How he’d sometimes let her sleep curled up in his arms all night long, his back against the headboard, just to hold onto that smell. Just to keep that small, fleeting moment of innocence before the world could take it away.

That nostalgia settled deep in his ribs, quiet and whole. This seemed like the only place in the world where suffering didn’t exist. Like his hands weren’t stained with all the things he’d done, all the lives he’d taken.

Because here, right now, with Maya, he wasn’t the man who had lost and lost and lost again. He wasn’t the man who’d left behind nothing but bodies and broken promises. No, she didn’t know any of that. She didn’t care.

She only knew his warmth. She knew the steady beat of his heart, the scratch of his beard against her soft skin, and the way he said her name. She only knew him as someone safe. And fuck, he wasn’t, he wasn’t, but—

God help him, he wanted to be.

Maya sighed, a tiny, content sound, pressing closer. And Joel—he let himself believe, just for a moment, that he was clean.

A soft gasp behind him made him turn to reality and toward the door. “Oh, Maya.”

Joel turned to find Leela standing in the doorway, hand to her mouth, eyes wide in amusement. She had changed—finally—into one of those oversized sweaters he’d seen her wear on colder nights, sleeves swallowing her hands. But she wasn’t looking at him. She was looking at his chest.

Joel frowned. “What?”

Leela bit her lip, trying—failing—to smother a smile. She motioned vaguely toward him. Joel tracked her finger and glanced to the side. And felt it. Hot, damp.

Damned baby spit-up.

Maya’s little betrayal soaked through the fabric of his shirt, spreading down from his collar and shoulder to his chest in an uneven, milky stain. She smacked her lips contentedly against his collarbone, completely unaware of the mess she’d just made.

He sighed, shifting her to the other arm. He levelled her with a playful glare. “You gonna warn me next time you ruin my shirt, darlin'?”

Maya only gurgled in response, a soft, pleased little sound.

And then, following her daughter—Leela laughed.

Not the quiet, polite kind that he'd managed out of her once. Not the forced kind, either. A real laugh. Breathless, unexpected, warm. Like it had slipped out before she could stop it.

Joel felt it like a slow-moving punch to the gut. He didn’t hear that sound often. Hell, he wasn’t sure if he’d ever heard it before on his account. He'd finally done it.

It changed something about her, softening her face in a way that caught him off guard. Her eyes creased at the corners, the tightness in her shoulders eased, the exhaustion in her expression smoothed over—just for a moment.

It did something strange to him. Something he didn’t have the time to name. So he just exhaled sharply, muttering a curse under his breath as he adjusted Maya over to the other arm, rubbing a hand over his damp shirt.

“Yeah, real funny. Your girl just aired her paunch all over me,” he grumbled.

Leela tried to sober up, apologizing, but another chuckle slipped out in between, and Joel caught the way she bit her lip, fighting to suppress it.

She was enjoying this. And he was in big fucking trouble.

"Don't move. I'll get you a spare shirt," she said, laughing, before walking to the adjacent closet doors.

Joel didn’t even get the chance to protest before Leela slid one side of the closet doors open, revealing—sweet Jesus.

His eyes landed on the neat rows of men’s clothing hanging inside. Not just a few misplaced items, not something left behind by chance. An entire collection.

Button-downs, slacks, henleys—clothes meant for daily wear. Added into the mix, were pressed suits, the kind that cost more than a month’s worth of supplies, the kind men used to wear to skyscrapers and boardrooms, back when the world was still upright. And golf shirts. For fuck’s sake, golf shirts.

Joel’s jaw hinged back up. Golf was a rich man’s game. He’d worked jobs near country clubs in his past life, and seen the kind of people who played. Men with money. Her father, perhaps.

Leela had definitely grown up rich. And looking at this—this untouched wealth, just sitting here, long past its time—it became clear. She probably still was.

Joel’s grip on Maya shifted slightly, the warmth of the baby pressing into his chest the only real thing anchoring him as his eyes dragged over the closet once more.

For all that Leela lived like a ghost, for all that she barely let anyone near her, this place still held echoes of what she came from. A past life that didn’t match the woman he’d seen standing at her front door, exhausted and hollow-eyed, desperate for her baby to stop crying.

Leela flipped through the hangers without hesitation, fingers brushing past labels he recognized—Armani, Burberry, Hollister. Eventually, she pulled out a green pullover. Soft, fine material. A little small for him, but it’d do.

She turned, offering it wordlessly.

Joel didn’t move to take it right away.

He was still staring at the closet. Not because he gave a damn about how much a fucking sweater cost, or whether she had a trust fund hidden away somewhere, but because it told him something. Something he hadn’t really thought about before.

Leela had come from comfort. Stability. A world where things were taken care of. And yet she’d buried herself in this big, empty house, alone, fighting tooth and nail to survive—like everyone else. And she never asked for help.

Leela cleared her throat. "It should fit. My father was a tall man."

Joel managed a sigh, shifting Maya in his arms. He took the pullover with one hand, already halfway through plucking open the buttons of his flannel.

While he worked, Leela stepped closer, ready to take Maya. She was quick about it, but Joel caught the way her fingers lingered, just for a second, as she scooped the baby up from his arms. Not on Maya.

On him.

Joel really tried to push it out of his head, write it off as an illusion, already plucking open the buttons of his shirt. His fingers brushed the fabric, and he paused when he caught the tag inside. Ralph Lauren, for fuck's sake.

Leela noticed with a small smile. "I didn’t take you for a man with fancy taste," she mused.

Joel let out a dry snort. "Yeah, well. Don’t get used to it."

He pulled off his flannel, the sleeves catching briefly on his wrists before he tossed it aside. The room wasn’t cold, but the air bit at his skin anyway. The scars felt it first—every healed cut, every old wound stretched over knotted muscle, each one a reminder of what his body had been through.

"Oh, man," he couldn't help but grunt, stretching his arms.

He worked the pullover over his head in one smooth motion, the fabric soft, snug across his shoulders. Felt like something he would’ve bought for Sarah back in the day, something she’d pull from a Macy’s rack, nodding in approval before insisting, "Dad, just try it on."

It fit better than he expected, but Joel barely registered that. His body had begun to ache. Not in one place—everywhere. It was late at night, it was cold, he missed his daily dose of whiskey, and he needed sleep for tomorrow.

The exhaustion sat in his bones now, permanent and familiar. His bad knee throbbed, aggravated from the cold, from the weight he put on it patrolling for hours at a time. His back had never been the same after that one fall, a long time ago. Some mornings, he woke up and could barely stand straight, feeling every single one of his years sink into him.

And yet, his body still held. Still worked. It wasn’t much to look at anymore. Not that it ever had been.

He had no delusions about himself—he wasn’t built for admiration. Never had been. Picking up girls and fooling around; was Tommy's thing. He wasn’t the kind of man people looked at twice, not in the way that mattered. His body told a story, but not the sort anyone wanted to read or had a happy ending,

His hands were ruined things, thick with callouses from years of exertion, from gripping rifle stocks, from skinning game, from chopping wood in the dead of winter. His knuckles were perpetually split, healing just enough before the next fight, the next job, the next reason to curl his fists. Scars mapped his skin, uneven and jagged, old bullet wounds and knife cuts, hard edges, marks of a life spent fighting for something—for anything.

He wasn’t young anymore. He wasn’t some smooth-talking son of a bitch with a face that turned heads. He was always angry at something, thinking about something, readying his next step, even if it was a complete waste of his time.

But he was still formidable. He could protect. He could endure the rough-hewn demands of survival, even now. He could fight like hell. That had to count for something.

But Leela—she wasn’t staring, exactly. Wasn’t not staring, either. It was subtle. Barely there. A flicker of something implicit, something fleeting, the way her gaze traced along his arms, his shoulders, abdomen, the sharp cut of his collarbone before snapping away. As if she hadn’t meant to look, and she’d caught herself a second too late.

Joel had been around long enough to recognize when a woman was checking him out. And hell—he wasn’t gonna lie to himself. It made him feel good. Fucking fantastic, really. Like he could wake up tomorrow feeling twenty years younger. Like he could leap right out of bed and his back wouldn’t stiffen before noon. Like he still had something left in him worth looking at.

He wasn’t an idiot, though. He wasn't going to let it go to his head.

Leela adjusted Maya in her arms, moving her weight as if giving herself something to do, something to focus on that wasn’t him.

And Joel—he pretended not to notice. Didn’t say a damn word about it. Didn’t shift under her gaze, didn’t smirk at her, didn’t let her see that she’d gotten under his skin in a way he hadn’t expected.

Just muttered a quiet, "Thanks," and left it at that.

Leela hummed in response, turning away to lay Maya down, who was already dozing her little head off, into the crib with practised care. Then, just as easily, she pivoted back to her bedside dresser, fingers moving over a stack of neatly folded quadrille paper.

"Can you pass something to Tommy for me?" she asked, voice soft, controlled. "It’s really important he gets this as soon as possible."

Joel might not have paid it much mind, might’ve brushed it off as just another errand he wasn’t keen on running—but then he saw it. The way her posture stiffened, the way her hands smoothed over the edges of the papers like they were something fragile, something vital. But whatever this was—it mattered.

She flipped through the pages, and for the first time since he’d met her, he saw something rare. Excitement. A flicker of life.

"It’s a wonderful breakthrough, Joel," she said, and there was a rare enough lightness in her voice, bordering on unguarded enthusiasm.

Joel just blinked. Leela wasn’t the type to get excited. Or maybe he's just never seen it in her before.

"So, I’ve been working on…" then she went into something technical for his dense mind, talking fast in words that blurred together. It all went miles over his head. Circuits, electrical theory, conduction points—half of it might as well have been a foreign language.

Joel just stared when she finished with a deep breath.

Leela instantly caught the look and pursed her lips. "Okay, um. Let me put it this way."

She shifted toward him, gesturing as she spoke, putting it into Layman's terms. "You know how the dam stops producing enough energy in winter? When the river freezes over?"

Joel gave a slow nod.

"So we rely on fuel, but fuel’s very limited. We've got the town expanding, and people coming in. So our batteries drain. If we had an alternative energy source, something reliable—" She held up the paper, tapping a rough sketch. "And that’s where this comes in."

Her hands moved as she spoke, cutting through the air with sharp, purposeful gestures. Not just passion, not just expertise. Conviction.

"Lightning is erratic, but it’s raw power. Joules of energy. Think about it. If we can direct a strike into a controlled medium—like a graphene capacitor—we can store it."

Joel narrowed his eyes, the concept clicking into his lagging brain. "So what, you think you can catch a goddamn thunderstorm and turn it into a battery?"

Leela wheezed a quiet laugh. "More or less."

He thought about it. "Seems like a hell of a thing to gamble on."

"It’s not a gamble. It’s math. Physics. It will work, Joel, I know it."

Joel didn’t argue. He didn’t understand it, not really, but he’d seen Leela work before. He trusted her genius. The nights she couldn't sleep—he’d sometimes blink awake to the sound of chalk scraping against a blackboard, catching sight of her standing there in the dim glow of the bulb, mapping something out with surgical precision. Or hunched over a notebook, scribbling feverishly, lost in calculations that only made sense to her.

It wasn’t just her passion—it was her outlet. A relief. A tether to something greater than herself, something she could control before she lost herself completely in the demands of motherhood. And if this was what she was holding onto, then perhaps it was more than just an idea.

She tucked the paper back into the stack, leveling him with a quiet look. "I also have a prototype," she said simply.

Joel raised a brow.

Leela nodded toward the hallway. "It’s in the basement if you want to see."

Joel wasn’t big on machines. Or gear. The finer technical details weren’t for him. But—he glanced at her, at the way she stood, weight shifting from foot to foot, something unreadable behind her eyes.

She wasn’t pushing him. She was waiting.

After a beat, he sighed, tilting his head toward the door. "Lead the way, ma'am."

X

The stairs were steep, the kind that creaked under their weight, but Joel kept a firm hold on Leela’s elbow, steadying her as they made their way down. She was still weak. Too breakable. As far as his knowledge went, she should've gotten better by now. And how the hell was she supposed to do that when she barely ate without cringing?

Joel had half a mind to tell her that, to point out how unsteady she was, how she winced when she put too much pressure on her feet—but she’d just brush him off with a shaky smile. So instead, he let out a quiet breath through his nose and adjusted his grip, keeping her close until they reached the bottom.

"There you go. Watch that last step," he guided as gently as he could.

She glanced up at him from the fringes of a smile, letting his hands go. "Thank you."

He expected damp walls, waterlogged corners, mould creeping up the corners, and a basement that smelled like rot and rust. As what he had been always used to when he went scouring towns nearby for supplies. What he got instead stopped him dead in his tracks.

"Well, I’ll be damned," he blew out.

It was a workshop. A big-ass one. Tools lined up on the magnetic walls, neatly arranged, half-finished projects sitting on a worktable, schematics pinned up in careful rows. More of Leela's notes and markers, taped-up designs. Funny how there was life only around all this machinery. Off to the side, an old wine cellar, the glass cases still intact, though the bottles inside were coated in dust.

And then—the cars.

Joel let out a low whistle. Two of them. Just sitting there like some abandoned luxury showroom. One was a Dodge Aspen, a classic in its own right. All violet and under repair. But the other...—his eyes caught the silver emblem glinting under the dim basement light. A prancing horse on the red steel.

"Come on," he muttered in disbelief, stepping forward, barely resisting the urge to run his hand over the hood. "Is that a… Maranello?"

Leela took a deep breath, still recovering from the stairs. "Yes. Custom made. Not sure if there's any left out there anymore."

"Holy shit." His fingers flexed at his sides. He didn’t want to seem desperate, but fuck, when was the last time he’d seen something like this? Much less, been this close?

"Can I, uh…" He gestured indistinctly at the car.

Leela flashed him a small grin. "Knock yourself out. The door's unlocked."

He didn’t need to be told twice. Joel reached out, fingers brushing over cool, crimson steel before yanking the door open. The new car smell hit him right in the face—leather, polish, something untouched by time. His chest tensed at the familiarity of it.

He slid into the driver’s seat, running his hands over the wheel, the knitting around the stick shift, and the soft beige leather of the custom interior. And just for a second—he let himself imagine it. Top down. Gliding down the I-10, no speed limits, no patrols, just him and the open road, wind in his hair, sun on his face, Raybans on. That dream all felt like a lifetime ago.

A soft knock on the passenger side window startled him back to reality.

Leela’s face appeared through the glass, her lips quirked in amusement. "Should I leave you two alone?"

Joel huffed, turning slightly to mask the grin tugging at his mouth. She opened the door and drudged her way inside, moving slowly. The descent had taken more out of her than she was willing to admit.

When she shut the door, he immediately rolled down his window, straining his ears toward the stairs. The one time he wished his hearing wouldn't betray him. Had he locked the door upstairs? Could he hear Maya if she cried? What if he couldn’t? How come Leela didn't seem to think about this? God, this girl really had no clue.

Her voice broke into his thoughts. "I wish I knew how to drive it." She ran her hand absentmindedly over the dashboard, voice softer now, almost wistful. "I believe the last great invention of man was the automobile."

"You said it," he mumbled.

Joel glanced at her and did a little mental math. She must’ve been nine, maybe ten when the outbreak hit. No middle school. No high school. No road trips, no late-night drives with her friends, music blasting. No first kiss. Just one world ending, and another one starting—a crueler one.

Leela exhaled, long and slow, sinking deeper into the leather seat like she could melt into it. Her fingers drummed idly on the handlebars, tracing invisible patterns, slipping into an old rhythm—one she didn’t even seem aware of.

Then, soft as a whisper, she started humming.

It was unhurried, quiet, like something she’d sung to herself a thousand times before. But it was enough to make Joel pause, something about the tune pulling at him. A half-buried memory, something from before. He knew that song. Hadn’t heard it in years, but it was still there, lodged somewhere deep in the creases of his mind.

"That’s—" He frowned, tilting his head, listening closer. "That Patsy Cline?"

Leela glanced up, surprise flickering across her face before something warmer took its place. "Walkin’ After Midnight. Yeah."

Joel hid a grin. "That is way before your time."

"So?" She smirked, tipping her head back against the seat, fingers still tapping, moving. "I had old parents. Rubbed off on me."

A layer beneath her words made Joel tread carefully. He, of all people, knew how age could sit heavy on a person, how some things weren’t worth prying open.

"Can’t have been that old," he muttered, though he wasn’t sure why he said it.

"My mom was seventy-eight when she passed."

Joel blinked. "W-o-w." The syllables came out slow, one after the other before he could stop himself.

Leela let out a quiet laugh, but it didn’t reach her eyes this time. She glanced down, her fingers still moving, trailing over the leather, the stitching, following some old path only she could see.

"I miss them every day," she said, voice softer now, more distant. "I’m grateful they singled me out of those photographs. Brought me here." She gestured vaguely to the house above her, her home, before exhaling, like she was letting something go. "I just hope I’m doing them proud."

Joel felt something shift, and he realized: too much sharing. It had to go both ways. And he was never going to be ready for that. So he did what he did best, avoided and threw her off the scent.

"Man," he said abruptly, with a cluck of his tongue, "if I had the keys and some fuel, I’d ride the hell outta this beauty." The words came out before he could stop them. "And die a happy old man."

Leela laughed. A loud laugh, sounding much like her daughter just then, deep in her chest, like she hadn't done it in a long time.

"It’s got fuel," she said, still grinning. "You can still ride it."

"Just sitting here like it's nothing." He shook his head, a small laugh rolling out. "Christ. This is amazing."

He glanced down at the stick shift, thumb absently tracing the edge of the gear knob, but something else caught his eye.

Her nightgown. Hitched up, ruffled around the tops of her thighs, loose fabric pooling where she sat. Bare skin. Soft, smooth, taut over lean bone—too much of it. The way she shifted, unthinking, rubbing one knee over the other, restless. He felt a rock dislodge in his throat.

Fuck. For all that he could be—a guardian, a protector—he had to be a man.

His fingers curled against his palm, an old instinct, something long-trained. Look away, don’t think about it. He turned back to the wheel, forcing his eyes forward. Dashboard. Windshield. Glove compartment. The thin layer of dust coating the steering column. Anything but the way one more inch of movement would have left too much for his mind to comprehend.

But the problem was—she hadn’t bothered to fix it. She didn’t seem to notice, or if she did, she didn’t care. So why should he?

He swallowed, jaw flexing tight. Because that was the kind of man he was. Greying, frustrated, scarce on love.

His fingers twitched, itching for something to do, something to grab. Instead, he moved without thinking, across the partition—one finger. Just a light tug, barely a breath of a touch, dragging the hem of her gown down, covering her knees. A simple thing. A quiet thing. A mistake.

Her whole body jerked, a sharp intake of breath—like she’d been touched by fire. Really, Joel felt it more than he saw it. The way her muscles tensed, a shudder raced, the quick clutch of her fingers as she held the fabric in place now, suddenly conscious of it.

Shit.

He withdrew instantly, fingers curling into a fist on the steering wheel. Should’ve just minded his goddamn business. Stupid, stupid man.

For a second, the air between them felt too tight. Even with the windows rolled down and winter winds howling outside, he broke into a sweat.

"Didn't see it," she mumbled.

He just shook his head, a small, dismissive grunt, keeping his eyes straight ahead. And that was that.

But the silence that settled over them after wasn’t comfortable. Not one either of them knew how to break.

Joel exhaled through his nose, fixing his stare on the windshield., fingers tapping slowly against the wheel, like he could smooth out the moment just by waiting it out. Jesus, he should’ve never touched her. Should’ve let it be.

“So, that prototype of yours,” he attempted to distract, voice rough. “You got it nearby?”

No response.

He frowned, risked a glance at her—and stopped cold.

Leela sat stiff in the passenger seat, her posture folded in on itself. One slender hand curled at her side, gripping the hem of her nightgown tight until her knuckles went white, the other was pressed to her face, knuckles braced against her nose. Her eyes filled with tears in seconds.

A long, slow breath in, too shaky.

Joel’s stomach sank. He knew that sound. He had seen a lot of it in his time. Had seen grief in all its forms—loud, violent, shattering. But this—this was different. This was quiet, heavy, desperate.

Her shoulders hitched, her breath sucking in too sharp like she was holding something back—something about to give.

And then, just like that, as if a thread had been cut, she sucked in another sharp breath, her whole body curling forward, hands coming up to cover her face—and it hit.

That same soft, keening sound he’d heard from her room almost every night. The one that came through thin walls, muffled by pillows, engulfed by fatigue.

But this time, she wasn’t hiding.

And Joel—he didn’t know what to do. His hands flexed against the wheel, confused and useless.

She wasn’t supposed to be crying. Not because of his pathetic self. Whichever way he saw it, this was his fault. He’d crossed a line, broken through a wall he’d meant to keep standing, and now she was here—crying. Because he couldn't keep his hands to himself.

His mouth opened, and his throat worked, but nothing happened. Fuck. What the hell was he even supposed to say? Everything seemed inappropriate. There was no justification for what he'd done.

His fingers curled tighter, nails digging into his palm. He had to fix it. Before it got worse.

His voice came out too rough, uncertain. “I'm sorry, I didn’t mean—”

“Just go.”

It hit like a crack of thunder. A faint, clear command, strangled between a cry. His stomach twisted.

He hesitated for half a second, long enough to hear the way her breath hitched, how her fingers curled deeper into her hair, how she looked like she wanted to fold in on herself, disappear into the goddamn leather seat.

He swallowed, jaw clenched so tight it ached.

He'd had seen women cry before. Ellie, Tess, hell even Maria. He’d occasionally held them while they did. But not this. Not her. And he hated—hated—that it was because of him.

His fingers flexed against his sides, fighting the instinct to reach out, to fix something he wasn’t sure could be fixed. But she’d made herself perfectly clear. To leave her alone.

So he did.

He wrenched the door open, barely registering the way it swung shut behind him. Didn’t look back, didn’t breathe until he was back up the stairs and out the door.

As he jogged down the porch stairs, the cold biting sharper now, cutting straight through the thick weave of his sweater, Joel tried to breathe. Snowflakes clung to the expensive fabric, melting fast, sinking in. He barely noticed. His inhales came long, exhales too short, not quite ragged, but uneven—like he couldn’t get enough air, like something in his chest was pressing down too hard, and no matter how deep he pulled, it wasn’t letting up.

It wasn’t panic. He knew what that felt like all too well.

This was different. A slow, creeping wrongness. A feeling that something had already slipped through his fingers, something he hadn’t even realized he was holding onto. And now it was gone, and there wasn’t a damn thing he could do to fix it.

He pressed a hand to his mouth, and wiped it down the scruff on his jaw, trying to steady himself, trying to shove it all back where it belonged. It wasn’t working.

His fingers curled into an aching fist. His breath fogged in the air in clouds.

He needed that fucking drink now.

X

The cold still lingered in the morning air, settling deep in Joel’s bones, but that wasn’t the only thing weighing him down. He hadn’t slept worth a damn. Tossed and turned all night, drifting in and out of restless half-dreams—images he didn’t want, memories he didn’t need. He woke up cold, despite the blankets, with a dull ache in his joints, and a scratch in his throat. Maybe from the weather. Maybe from something else.

Didn’t matter.

What mattered was getting out of that house. Getting up, getting moving. Keeping his hands busy, keeping his mind from straying where it wanted to go—back to last night, back to the way she had curled in on herself, hands to her face, shaking with something he couldn’t fix. He despised being around something unfixable. Made him feel incompetent.

He gripped the stack of papers tighter, the edges digging into his fingers as he stepped into the stables. Tommy was there, adjusting the saddle on one of the mares, humming some old tune under his breath. The familiar smell of hay, leather, and horse filled the space, grounding Joel in the moment. He clung to that.

“Tommy,” Joel called, his voice rougher than he meant it to be.

Tommy glanced up, brow lifting in mild curiosity. “Mornin’, brother. No hard feelings from last night,” he said, giving the straps one last tug before stepping back. His gaze flickered to the papers in Joel’s hand. “What’s all this?”

Joel didn’t answer right away. Just extended them out. Tommy brushed his palms off before taking them, flipping through the pages absentmindedly—until he wasn’t. His fingers slowed, putting together the pieces, his brows knitting together, his mouth parting just slightly.

"What in the... I mean—I talked to her about this,” Tommy muttered, shaking his head in disbelief. "Told her we'd be having trouble. That was last week.” He let out a low breath, rubbing at his mouth as he stared at the pages like they had just appeared out of thin air. "She really did all this?"

Joel exhaled with a slight grin, feeling like someone had just handed him a gold star. An odd feeling settled in his chest—one he didn’t quite know what to do with. It wasn’t his place to feel this way, no right to. But still, pride curled warm and solid in his ribs.

“She stayed up workin’ on ‘em,” Joel muttered, not quite looking at him.

Tommy let out a short whistle, shaking his head. “Christ. This little genius just saved our asses out of the red.” He waved the papers at him. “Takin' this straight to Maria.”

Joel rolled his shoulders, clearing his throat. “Not just yet. There's a page is missing.”

Tommy paused and frowned, flipping through again. “The hell you talkin’ about?”

Joel crossed his arms, tilting his head. “I’ll give it to you if you let me fix that nursery instead of that goddamn kid.”

Tommy looked up at that, blinking. Then, realization dawned, slow and amused. His mouth curved into a smirk.

“For real, Joel?”

Joel scoffed, shaking his head. “Can’t even fix shelves right.”

Tommy cocked a brow. “He's just doing his job.”

“Little shit damn near had it fallin’ apart the last time I was there,” he argued. “Look, do you want the page or not? I'll just feed it to the horse.”

Tommy let out a sharp laugh, tipping his head back slightly. “You really got a bone to pick with this poor guy, huh?”

Joel’s jaw flexed, but he didn’t answer. Just kept his arms crossed, eyes unwavering. He wasn't backing down just yet.

Tommy shook his head, flipping the last page with a chuckle. “Fine, fine. You can fix whatever you want.” Then, without missing a beat, he held out his hand. “Now gimme the damn page.”

Joel handed it over without another word. But the way Tommy was still looking at him—grinning like he had something to say but was letting Joel walk away with his dignity intact—had him turning on his heel before his brother could get the last word in.

X

[ wow you read this far! now, if you're still reading, I'd just like to know - what song crept into your mind, about Joel or Leela, as you read this chapter? For Joel, definitely: Pain and Misery by The Teskey Brothers and as for Leela, ooooh: Wasteland by Royal & the Serpent! what about you? ]

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[heavysighing-dreamyeyes]

Woke up from the sweetest dream of eating ice cream with Jason in the middle of the night, both in our jammies hunched over a pint in opposite sides of the kitchen island and its just so special to not be doing this exact thing alone.

"There's something so sweet about loving and being loved. Knowing and being known. Especially by a man who makes every past moment of suffering so worth it if it's lead us to this." 🥺🥺

Late Night Desserts 

Pure Fluff ~1k words

It's late, the kind of late that's so far into the night that you can start to call it early. Your kitchen is dark, lit only by the dim street lights and the occasional stray beams of moonlight that break the clouds hanging low over Gotham's sky. There's the sounds of cars driving by, the faint whirl of a helicopter flying overhead, but it's all drowned out by the quiet giggles bouncing off the walls of your apartment. 

"Why are you even whispering," you stumble out between hushed laughs, voice barely above a breath as you point your spoon at Jason, eyes narrowing in accusation.

He grins, mock offense dripping into his quiet tone, "I could ask you the same question, sweetheart." 

"I'm whispering because you're whispering," you bite back, gaze leaving him so you can dip your spoon into the pint of your favorite ice cream resting between you on the counter. 

Jason scoffs, all teasing and playing as he reaches over to knock his spoon against yours, digging into the frozen dessert for another taste, "I'm whispering because it's still dark outside, and the walls of your apartment are thinner than paper."

"That's not my fault," You pout, taking your own bite of the ice cream. Your eyes narrow, but there's no heat to the action, not when the moment feels as sweet as the dessert you're sharing.

"Didn't say it was, doll," he hums, catching you entirely off guard when he reaches over the kitchen island to swipe his thumb over the corner of your lip, collecting what remains of the ice cream on his finger. His gaze never leaves yours as he licks his thumb clean, smile never fading.

He seems intent on knocking your world off center for a second time, because he speaks again, an easy grin on his face, like his words have no consequence either way, "You could always move in with me. Then it wouldn't matter how loud we were at night. Opens all kinds of doors, ya know?"

You think you manage to keep the surprise off your face when you answer (you don't), "It would?"

"Sure," he hums, jabbing his spoon back into the cartoon, it's the only sign that he feels even slightly nervous over the question he poised, "We could cook after eight pm without your neighbors complaining, blast music in the morning, and, ya know, if we ever get the dog you've talked about, it would be nice to have thicker walls."

His words sweep you right off your feet, his easy answer, the slight tension in his shoulders, all point to one thing. He's thought about this. He's planned a future with you, even if it's just coming up with small, mundane reasons on why you should move to his apartment. 

The realization steals your breath away, and it's only when his face furrows and his eyes start to dart over your face, searching for any clues of how you feel, that you remember you have to respond. 

"That sounds nice. I'd like that, " You say, voice melting into a different kind of soft from your previous whispers. It's a soft that's fond, almost reverent in the face of his feelings for you, the cusp of something more you want to build with him. 

The tension drains from his body, and his smile returns to something bright, something real, "Good." Jason lifts his spoon back to his mouth, face thoughtful like he's mulling over his next words, "You could move in anytime, you know. If you wanted. Half your stuff is already there anyway."

The ice cream melting onto the counter doesn't matter anymore, and you drop your spoon, letting it clatter loudly to the granite surface. Jason only has enough time to look confused and vaguely alarmed by the noise before you round the island to get to his side.

He tries to play off his eagerness with a nonchalant shrug, but you see right through your boyfriend. And suddenly, the moment feels so big.

The feeling nearly bursts from your chest. The warm, fluttery love that's so pure and right in your soul that it's nearly overwhelming. The idea that every path you've ever walked has led you to him, and him to you. 

He opens his mouth to talk, and you steal whatever words he means to say with your tongue. The kiss is sweet, so, so sweet. Sweeter than the dessert you were sharing, sweeter than anything you could tell him, sweeter than all the emotions fluttering in your stomach over just how much he means to you. 

Jason kisses you back with a softness that speaks to all the adoration he feels for you, dropping his own spoon to cup your face, to wrap an arm around your waist to draw you closer.

You only pull away first so you can watch the way his eyes flutter open slowly, lingering in the ghost of your lips against his.

"What was that for," he asks, voice so breathless and dreamy it nearly brings you to your knees.

"Just wanted to," you hum out, pressing a kiss to his jaw, to his chin, to his cheek. It's not a lie, it just doesn't encompass all the warmth you feel in your heart, the goofy smile you can't wipe from your face.

His dumbstruck smile matches your own as he squeezes your waist, saying everything he needs to say back with a simple touch. You melt into arms, ice cream, and quiet whispers long forgotten.

But you don't need to explain, don't have to elaborate. Jason knows what you mean when you press another gentle kiss to his lips, he knows what you're trying to say when you tangle your finger in his hair and memorize the feel of his body pressing against yours.

He always seems to know what you can't find the words to say. 

It's just a moment, just a stolen minute of peace as dark creeps towards day, but it's yours. Yours and his. Another warm memory to write into your story, another step towards something that feels like forever. 

The moon lights up your kitchen as it breaks the clouds once again, and Jason chases your mouth for another head-spinning kiss, sealing the promise of words unsaid, emotions that are far bigger than can be spoken into the calm, quiet air of the night.

[iamquiantrelle]

OFFSIDES (chapter 1) ────── iamquaintrelle

# pairings: aurelien tchouameni x black oc (☔️💕✨) # wc: 8.16k

# tags: @whoevenisthiz @irishmanwhore @lettersofgold @sucredreamer @leighjadeclimbedmtkilimanjaro @rougereds @jessnotwiththemess @judectrl @ayeshami @greyishbach @haartemis @goldenngt @solidbriii @sailurmewn @rainbowsparkelsunshine @lbchi @bbgkoo @mauvecherie-writes

# summary: nazanin "naz" williams and real madrid star aurélien tchouaméni's casual relationship takes an unexpected turn. after he temporarily ghosts her, leading to leaked photos and public drama, they must face their feelings for each other and try to make their 'situationship' into something concrete. masterlist

Naz stared at her phone for what felt like the millionth time that day. Still nothing from Aurélien. Not even those stupid little notification bubbles that showed he'd at least seen her messages.

"Girl, this is not okay," Destiny said, sprawled across Naz's bed. "I don't care if he's Aurélien Tchouaméni or the king of Spain – you can't just ghost someone like that."

"He's not ghosting me," Naz muttered, but even she didn't believe it anymore. "He's probably just busy with-"

"With what? Call Cama."

"I'm not calling Eduardo."

"Yes, you are." Destiny was already grabbing Naz's phone. "If anyone knows what's up with your man, it's his bestie."

Before Naz could stop her, Destiny had Eduardo Camavinga on speaker. His voice filled the room, bright as always: "Ayyyy what's up?"

"Where's your boy at?" Destiny demanded.

"Who, Aurélien? He was supposed to come chill with me and my brothers today but canceled last minute. Why, what's up?"

Naz's stomach dropped. So he wasn't too busy for his phone. He just wasn't answering her.

"What's up is he's being weird," Destiny said. "Not answering calls, leaving messages on read-"

"Look," Cama's voice got serious, which was weird because Naz had never heard him anything but hyper. "It's been rough, yeah? The whistles at the Bernabéu, then that talk on Instagram... maybe he just needs space?"

"He can't have space right now!" Destiny practically yelled.

"Why not?" Now Cama sounded curious. "What's so urgent that-"

Naz grabbed the phone before Destiny could say more. "Cama, just... tell him to call me? Please?"

Something in her voice must've gotten through because all the playfulness dropped from his tone. "Okay. Yeah, I got you."

After they hung up, Naz's mind drifted to last weekend. She'd been in his box at the Bernabéu, watching him play against Espanyol. Before the match, he'd given her this gorgeous gold charm bracelet – a football charm, an 'A' pendant, little shoes (because she was always teasing him about his sneaker collection), and a graduation cap because she'd just finished her master's.

"So you don't forget about me when you're conquering the world," he'd said, fastening it around her wrist.

Like she could ever forget him.

It was crazy how it all started, really. Destiny had been hanging with Cama and his crew at some fancy club in Madrid, and she'd dragged Naz along. Naz remembered being nervous – she might've grown up following football because of her dad's obsession with the sport, but actually being around the players was different.

She'd known exactly who Aurélien was when she first saw him. Had watched enough of his games, read enough articles. Knew about his move from Monaco, the pressure of that price tag, how he'd proved everyone wrong. The way he moved on the pitch like he owned it, all graceful power and perfect positioning.

She also knew the game. Pretty girls and footballers – it was like this dance everyone knew the steps to but no one talked about. So yeah, maybe she made sure to be at the right parties, wear the right things, catch his eye.

But Aurélien had been... different. Even with everything undefined between them, even with no labels or promises, he was sweet. Attentive. Would send her good morning texts with stupid football memes. Would call just to hear about her day. Would show up at her apartment with takeout when she was stressed about her thesis.

Which was why this silence felt so wrong.

Her phone buzzed and her heart jumped – but it was just another worried text from her other friend Gia: girl what are you gonna do???

Naz stared at her reflection in the phone screen, at the gold bracelet catching the light on her wrist.

What was she going to do? Because this secret... it couldn't wait much longer.

She typed out one more message to Aurélien: We need to talk. Please.

Then she waited, watching those three dots appear and disappear, appear and disappear, until finally, they stopped altogether.

And that's when she knew something had to give.

"This isn't like him," Naz mumbled, pacing her bedroom. "You don't understand, Des. I literally spent almost every weekend at his place in Madrid. Flying in from London after work on Fridays, staying until Sunday night. His dog Ocho even has his own bed in my apartment for when they visit."

"Girl-"

"I met his uncle, Des. His uncle. You know how private Aurélien is about family."

Destiny watched her from the bed, concern mixing with something harder in her expression. "Naz, breathe. Your anxiety is-"

"No, you don't get it." Naz twisted the gold bracelet on her wrist. "During the Euros? I was there every day. When France didn't make it to finals, he was... God, he was so wrecked. And I just held him, you know? Let him be upset without trying to fix it."

"Yeah, and that's sweet and all, but-" Destiny sat up straighter, her expression shifting. "Maybe he's giving that same comfort to someone else right now."

Naz froze. "What?"

"You know what I mean." Destiny's voice went gentle but firm. "Quality time. The horizontal kind."

"No." Naz shook her head. "Aurélien isn't like that-"

"Girl, get a fucking grip!" Destiny's braids swung as she threw up her hands. "He's a fine-ass footballer playing for Real Madrid. One of the biggest clubs in La Liga. He's drowning in pussy. He doesn't care about you or that-"

Naz's phone lit up, Aurélien's name flashing across the screen. Her heart jumped until she read the message: what's up why are you hitting up cama?

The tone was all wrong. Cold. Accusatory. Like she'd violated some unspoken rule by reaching out to his friend.

Before she could respond, Destiny snatched the phone. "I'll respond," she said, pushing her braids over her shoulder. "This nigga got you acting funny and I don't like it. You're not playing the game right, Naz."

Right. The game. The jersey chasing game that Naz was never fully invested in, not like Destiny who had WAG dreams and vision boards. For Naz, it had started as an escape from thesis stress that just happened to come with designer perks. Yeah, maybe at first she'd thought about the lavish vacations and gifts, but then...

Then she'd actually gotten to know him. Seen how he'd light up talking about tactics, how he'd spend hours playing with Ocho, how he'd call her at 3 AM just to hear her voice after a tough match.

Destiny handed the phone back, and Naz's eyes went wide at the paragraph her friend had sent: accusations of him being ain't shit, demands about why he'd been ignoring the SOS signals, a whole essay of confrontation.

Those three dots appeared. Disappeared. Appeared again. Naz's stomach twisted – she knew exactly what was happening in his head. Aurélien hated confrontation. His whole vibe was chill, level-headed, always taking the higher ground. He'd rather walk away than—

Aurélien: fine Naz. Whatever you say. I thought if anyone knew what I was going through would be you right? Guess not. Guess that psychology degree seems worthless. Sorry I ignored you - had a rough few days and needed time to cool off and see that therapist you wanted me to get so badly. My communication sucked but you know I always get back to you. Well I thought you did. ✌🏾

That peace emoji. Naz's heart dropped. She knew what that meant – bye, adios, I'm done. Aurélien Tchouaméni had officially clocked the fuck out.

"No no no," she frantically typed back, but the messages wouldn't deliver. Called, but got that automated voice: "Sorry, the number you dialed cannot be reached at this moment. Please hang up and try again."

She tried again. And again. And again.

Because that was another thing about Aurélien – sweet as candy, yes, but also petty as all hell when pushed too far.

He'd blocked her.

She stared at Destiny, horror dawning. "What the fuck was that, Des?"

The bracelet felt heavy on her wrist now, each charm a reminder of everything she might have just lost. And the secret she still hadn't told him? The real reason she'd been so desperate to reach him?

It sat like lead in her stomach, growing heavier by the second.

"He blocked you? Wow, what a dead beat ass-"

"Des, shut up!" Naz screamed, making Destiny's eyes widen in shock. Her voice dropped to barely a whisper, "This isn't what I wanted, what I needed, what the... what the baby I'm carrying needs."

Des let out a dry chuckle. "What do you even mean?" She crossed her arms over her chest, eyes narrowing. "You can milk this, bleed him fucking dry. Do you know how many gossip blogs would kill to have this info? Like you can be set-"

"Des, I don't give a fuck about that, not right now." Naz's voice cracked. "I just found out I'm pregnant and my child's father just blocked me. What's not clicking?"

"No one told you to be out here fucking him without a condom anyways." Des rolled her eyes. "I mean who rawdogs an athlete unless that was your angle all along..." Her voice trailed off as she literally pondered for a second. "Hmm maybe I should have Vini knock me up?"

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Naz screeched and threw a throw pillow at her.

"Bitch, that hurt," Des said as the pillow hit her face.

"I don't care, Des. You're out here plotting about trapping Vini instead of worrying about your friend. You know how fucked up that sounds?"

Des rolled her eyes again, adjusting her clothes as she stood up from Naz's bed. "Girl whatever, I was trying to help you out, remember? You wanted all the nice pretty things and I told you these men don't care about us and your dumb ass got pregnant. Not my fault." She smoothed down her shirt. "Now you have two choices: abort that baby or have it be your golden egg. And as your friend, I'm gonna do what's best for you."

"Des, don't do anything stupid. You know how Aurélien-"

"I don't give a fuck. You're out of options, Nazanin." Des's voice turned hard. "You're not having any luck finding a new job and how will you support a baby?"

The words hit like bullets because Des had a point. Her current job barely covered her bills, and sure, she could treat herself occasionally when Aurélien wasn't spoiling her, but a baby? In her two-bedroom apartment with a roommate who hardly ever leaves?

But abortion...

"I can't do that," Naz said, sinking into her office chair. A tear rolled down her cheek as she shook her head. The stress was already too much – she could feel it in her bones, in the constant nausea she'd been fighting all week. "I can't do that without letting him know about it first."

"Well too late for that 'cuz you got blocked," Des said, her words cutting deeper than she probably meant them to.

Naz pressed her hand against her still-flat stomach. Just this morning, she'd walked into that clinic thinking about getting an implant because clearly, she and Aurélien needed to be more careful. Instead, she'd walked out with news that changed everything – six weeks pregnant. Six weeks of a life they'd created together, probably during one of those weekend visits where they'd gotten careless, too caught up in each other to think about consequences.

She thought about Aurélien, how attentive he was with everything else in their undefined relationship. How he'd notice if she was tired or stressed, would remember her favorite foods, would call just to make sure she got home safe after late flights. He deserved to know about this baby. He was equally responsible for this life they'd created, even if right now he was being petty and blocking her because of Des's stupid text.

"He needs to know," Naz said finally, wiping her eyes. "I don't care about money or support or any of that shit you're thinking about, Des. But he deserves to know he's going to be a father before we make any decisions."

"And how exactly are you planning to tell him when he's blocked your number?" Des demanded. "Gonna show up at training? Send a carrier pigeon? Call Cama again?"

The reality of the situation hit Naz full force. Here she was, six weeks pregnant, blocked by the father of her child, and her best friend was more concerned about how to manipulate the situation than actually helping.

Actions meet consequences indeed.

A week of silence felt like forever. Not just from Aurélien, but from everyone – Cama stopped answering, even Jude ghosted her. Funny how quick football friends disappeared when you weren't in the inner circle anymore.

Now here she was, sitting in a clinic exam room, trying not to throw up for the third time today. Earlier, in the waiting room, a heavily pregnant woman had smiled at her, offered advice about ginger tea for morning sickness. Naz had managed a weak "thanks" before the nurse called her back.

The exam table paper crinkled under her as she thought about how spectacularly everything had blown up. Des had taken matters into her own hands, sending those pictures to the gossip blogs – Naz at Aurélien's matches, in his private box, wearing his gifts. She'd thought maybe it would get his attention.

Instead, all she got was internet hate. Thirsty. Clout chaser. Another jersey hunter. People digging into her past, trying to find dirt. And still nothing from Aurélien.

"Have you considered termination?" The nurse asked gently.

Naz turned to stare at a poster about fetal development, tears sliding down her cheeks.

"You don't have to do this, you know. There's other options."

"Like what?" Naz snapped, immediately regretting her tone.

"Adoption? Or maybe raising the baby yourself? I'm a single mum and I have this group of women who are my support system. Do you have that, Nazanin?"

Naz shook her head. Gia would help if she wasn't across the continent, but Des? That bridge was burned. And moving back to New Jersey? To her mom and stepfather's judgmental house? They'd treat her like shit even if they loved the baby. But isn't that what being a parent meant – sacrificing comfort for your child?

"How long do I have to decide?" Her voice sounded small even to her own ears.

The nurse explained the timeline, mentioned seeing a counselor first. "You seem like you have a lot on your mind right now. I don't think it's best to make these certain decisions at the moment."

"But I-"

"Nazanin, abortion is a serious thing to consider. Your mental health is important as well. Are you in contact with the child's father? Maybe-"

Her phone rang – unknown number. Her heart dropped to her shoes.

"I'll give you time to answer that." The nurse slipped out, leaving Naz alone with her racing thoughts.

"Hello?"

"Naz, what the fuck are you doing?" Aurélien's voice came through angry, other voices murmuring in the background.

"Give me the phone, Aurélien," she heard his uncle say, followed by scuffling.

"Nazanin, it's Bertrand." His usually warm voice was formal, distant.

"Hi," she croaked, sniffling.

"Nazanin, what is happening? I understand you and Aurélien are not seeing each other anymore but to put it on the blogs..." His disappointed tone broke something in her. She let out a sob. "Nazanin, are you okay?"

"Give me the phone, uncle." Aurélien's voice commanded. Patience had never been his strong suit when he was upset about something.

"Djani, I am handling this for you. Please show patience." Bertrand's tone was firm, used to managing his nephew's temperamental moments.

"Is Aurélien there?" Naz asked quietly.

"I can put the phone on speaker. Hold on." More scuffling and rustling filled the line. "He's here. He's listening now."

"Hey Naz." Aurélien's voice softened, sounding like her Aurélien again, the anger seemingly dissipated.

"Am I still your favorite artist?" She couldn't help asking, remembering their inside joke about sharing a name with the rapper.

He chuckled. "Always." Then quoted their favorite Nas lyric.

She smiled through her tears. "I'm sorry. Destiny thought-"

"I never liked that girl," Uncle Bertrand huffed.

"Yeah... she's something."

"Her spirit is not pure. I told you, Aurél, that it wasn't Nazanin's fault."

"It is my fault though. I told her to-"

"She manipulated you, Nazanin," Uncle Bertrand cut in. "We can apologize once you're back in Madrid."

"Uncle-"

"You need to apologize, Aurélien. We need to make this right."

"I know I do. I should've never sent that text to you, Nazanin."

"I know, Aurél. We made some mistakes."

"I was so upset-" Aurélien started, but Uncle Bertrand interrupted again.

"We can talk when she gets here."

Aurélien opened his mouth to say something else, but then the hospital PA system crackled overhead, and his tone changed instantly. "Nazanin, is everything okay? Why are you at the hospital?"

Her protector. Her lion. Always the one watching out for everyone else, even when he was angry.

"Aurélien, we need to talk."

"About?" His confusion was clear in his voice.

She heard Uncle Bertrand's soft "fuck" as he figured it out.

"Naz, what's going on?"

One deep breath. Two. Her news, the one she'd been holding onto for almost two weeks, exploded out of her mouth: "I'm pregnant."

Uncle Bertrand's louder "fuck" echoed through the phone, but from Aurélien? Nothing but silence.

"Aurélien?"

The line went dead.

Naz stared at her phone, hands shaking. Called back immediately – straight to voicemail. Again. Voicemail. A third time – same thing.

"Fuck," she whispered, then louder, "Fuck!"

The nurse chose that moment to return, taking in Naz's tear-streaked face with practiced sympathy. "Everything alright, love?"

"I just told him," Naz managed, still clutching her phone. "I just told the father and he... the call dropped and now he won't..."

She couldn't finish the sentence. Couldn't voice how much it hurt that in this moment, this massive, life-changing moment, Aurélien had gone silent again. Or maybe Uncle Bertrand had taken his phone. Or maybe...

Her phone buzzed – a text from an unknown number. Her heart jumped until she opened it:

Nazanin, this is Bertrand. Aurélien is... processing. Give him a moment. We will call back soon. Please do not make any decisions without speaking to us first.

Us. Like she was dealing with Tchouaméni Management now instead of the man who'd held her through thunderstorms, who'd dance with her in his kitchen, who'd absentmindedly massaged her scalp while watching match footage.

"Do you want to reschedule?" the nurse asked gently. "Maybe take some time to talk things through with the father?"

If he ever calls back, Naz thought bitterly. But she just nodded, gathering her things. "Yeah, I think... I think I need a minute."

Her phone buzzed again. Unknown number:

Don't leave the clinic. Please. - A

Two seconds later:

I'm booking a flight. Stay there. Please.

Then from Bertrand: He's on his way. Hospital name?

Naz's hands were still shaking as she typed out the clinic's name and address. Three dots appeared almost immediately:

Flight booked. 2 hours. Don't move. Don't make any decisions. Please.

The 'please' caught her off guard. Aurélien, Mr. Confident, Mr. Always-In-Control, saying please. Thrice.

"The father's coming," she told the nurse, her voice steadier than she felt. "He's... he's flying in."

The nurse's eyebrows shot up. "Flying in? From where?"

"Madrid." Naz wiped her eyes. "He plays for Real Madrid."

Understanding dawned on the nurse's face – she must have seen the gossip blogs. But instead of judgment, she just squeezed Naz's shoulder. "There's a private waiting room down the hall. I'll make sure you're not disturbed."

Naz nodded gratefully, following her to a small room with comfortable chairs and warm lighting. As she sat down, her phone buzzed one more time:

Je suis désolé. For everything. For blocking you. For not listening. For not being there when you found out. I'm coming. We'll figure this out. Together.

She pressed her hand to her stomach, still flat but now feeling somehow different. More real.

"Your papa's coming," she whispered, then laughed wetly at herself for talking to a cluster of cells that couldn't hear her. "He's... he's actually coming."

********************************************************

Two hours and a half later, the door opened, and there he was – Aurélien in a Nike tracksuit, hood pulled up, duffel bag slung over his shoulder. For a moment, they just stared at each other, the weight of everything hanging between them.

Then the duffel bag hit the floor with a thud, and Naz was moving before she could think, crashing into his chest as tears started falling. His arms came around her automatically, one hand cradling the back of her head like he always did.

"I'm sorry," he murmured into her hair. "I'm so fucking sorry."

She pulled back enough to look at him, wiping her eyes. "I know what we are, what this was supposed to be. I know this isn't what you wanted-"

"How far along?" he cut in, his voice soft but steady.

"Almost eight weeks."

She watched him do the math in his head, saw the moment it clicked. "Mallorca." She nodded. "Fuck." He ran a hand over his face. "I wanted to go raw that time and look where it got us." A bitter laugh escaped him. "I'm sorry about blocking you too. Too much was in my head, I was angry-"

"We can worry about that later," she cut him off. "Right now we need to think about... about this."

They sat down next to each other, and Aurélien pulled his hood off, clasping his hands together. "What do you want to do?"

Naz tried to keep her voice neutral, clinical. "It's just cells right now, so... an abortion would be-"

She saw something flicker across his face, a tightening around his eyes, but he nodded. "If that's what you want."

She scoffed, shaking her head.

"What?"

"You'll let me go through with it?" Fresh tears were falling now.

"Naz... this is your decision too. You said that if you... abort the baby, it'll be fine. Is that not what you want?"

"I don't know what I want, Aurél."

"I don't either. This wasn't planned."

"No fucking shit!" The chair scraped against the floor as she stood abruptly.

Aurélien held his head in his hands, pulling lightly at his fresh taper fade, before letting out a groan. "Naz, we have to make a decision, okay? We can't keep running around and arguing about this. You're eight weeks pregnant, Nazanin, we have a timeline to... make a choice."

She folded her arms over her chest. "What do you want?"

"Naz... I really don't know..."

"Do you want me to abort the baby?"

"Jesus fucking Christ, Nazanin." He rolled his eyes.

"Tell me, Aurélien... do you?" More emphasis this time, demanding an answer.

He went quiet, biting his bottom lip in that way he did when he was really thinking, probably running through every possible outcome in that tactical mind of his. The silence stretched until she was about to scream, when-

"Yes..." His eyes met hers, and she felt like someone had punched the air from her lungs. Those eyes that were usually so warm, so playful, now held something deeper – fear, uncertainty, a desperate need to make the right choice. "And no. Would having an abortion make things a hundred times easier – yes, but what about where that leaves you? We're 24 years old, Nazanin – this isn't like changing coursework at university. This is a baby. A human-"

"It's cells right now!"

"Don't give me that, Nazanin!" His shout made her flinch slightly. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, but don't try to be stale with your emotions. I know you are thinking about it too. A baby will make things hard for the both of us. We have to figure what we have out and make decisions on how to raise that baby. Would we just co-parent or would we be together?"

"I'm not gonna be a baby mama." Her voice was firm.

"And I don't want you to be, but what we have right now was casual... even though we only was with each other, it was still that. What I'm trying to say is – fuck!" He yanked at his hair again, frustration evident in every movement. "Naz, this wasn't supposed to happen. Shit, not like this."

"I know."

Naz sank back into her chair, suddenly exhausted. "What would your uncle say?"

"Uncle Bertrand?" Aurélien let out a dry laugh. "He's probably already planning the baby shower. You know how he is about family."

"And your parents?"

His jaw tightened. "They'd... adjust. Eventually." He turned to look at her. "What about yours?"

"My mom would probably fly straight to London just to kill me herself." She pressed her palms against her eyes. "Then she'd resurrect me just to lecture me about how I threw my life away for a footballer."

"You didn't throw your life away-"

"Didn't I though?" Her voice cracked. "Everything I worked for, my degree, my career... having a baby now would-"

"Who says you have to give any of that up?" There was an edge to his voice now. "You think I'd let you do this alone? You think I wouldn't make sure you and the baby had everything you needed?"

"That's not the point, Aurélien! I don't want to be some footballer's baby mama living off child support-"

"Stop saying that!" He was on his feet now, pacing the small room. "You're not just some... We're not..." He stopped, running his hands over his face. "Fuck, Naz, you will never be that to me. You know that."

She looked up at him, heart pounding. "Do I?"

"Eight months, Nazanin. Eight months of me flying you out every weekend, introducing you to my uncle, giving you keys to my place-"

"While keeping me your little secret-"

"To protect you! You saw what happened the minute those blogs got hold of those pictures. The shit they're saying about you..." He knelt in front of her chair, taking her hands in his. "I wanted to do this right. Take our time. But now..."

"Now what?"

"Now we have about seven months to figure out how to be parents." His thumbs traced circles on her palms. "If... if that's what you want."

Naz stared at their joined hands, at how his dwarfed hers. Hands that could control a ball with perfect precision, that could change the direction of a game, that were now offering to help guide her through this mess they'd created.

"I'm scared," she whispered.

"Me too." His honesty surprised her. Aurélien Tchouaméni, always so sure of himself, admitting fear. "But maybe that's okay? Maybe being scared means we're taking this seriously?"

"The press would have a field day."

"Fuck the press."

"Your career-"

"Will be fine. I'm not the first footballer to have a baby."

"Your girlfriend might object though," she couldn't help adding.

His head snapped up. "What girlfriend?"

"The model. The one they keep linking you to in the papers."

He actually laughed. "Naz, the only woman who's been in my bed for the past eight months is you. The only woman who has keys to my place is you. The only woman my dog actually listens to is you." His expression softened. "The only woman I want to figure this out with is you."

Fresh tears spilled down her cheeks. "That's not fair. You can't say things like that when my hormones are all over the place."

His laugh was gentler this time. "Sorry." He reached up to wipe her tears away. "But I mean it. Whatever we decide – about the baby, about us – we do it together. No more blocking, no more games, no more letting other people get in our heads."

"Even Destiny?"

"Especially Destiny." He made a face. "Uncle Bertrand was right about her spirit."

That startled a laugh out of her. "Your uncle and his spiritual readings."

"He's never wrong though." Aurélien's expression turned serious again. "So what do you say? We take some time, really think about this? No pressure, no rushed decisions. Just... figure it out together?"

Naz looked at him – really looked at him. At the man who'd flown across countries the moment she needed him, who was on his knees in front of her offering support instead of easy solutions. At the potential father of her child.

"Together," she agreed softly.

His relief was visible. "Together." He pressed a kiss to her knuckles. "Now can we get out of this clinic? Hospitals make me nervous and I haven't eaten since I got your call."

"You're always hungry."

"Growing boy."

"You're literally a professional athlete."

He stood, pulling her up with him. "Exactly. Need to keep my strength up." His hand slid to her still-flat stomach. "Especially now."

The gesture should have felt presumptuous, but instead it felt... right. Like maybe they could actually do this.

A soft knock interrupted them, and the nurse from earlier poked her head in. Her eyes widened slightly at Aurélien's presence – of course she recognized him – but she maintained her professional demeanor.

"Everything alright in here?" she asked, though her gentle smile suggested she'd heard enough of their conversation to know things were better.

"Yeah," Naz managed, suddenly aware she was still holding Aurélien's hand. "We're just..."

"Taking things one step at a time," Aurélien finished, giving her hand a squeeze.

The nurse nodded. "Would you like to see the baby? You're far enough along for an ultrasound."

Naz felt Aurélien tense beside her. "We can... we can do that?" he asked, his voice uncharacteristically uncertain.

"Of course. Let me get you two into a proper exam room first, and I'll give you some information about all your options." She gestured for them to follow her.

The new room was bigger, with an ultrasound machine and an exam table. The nurse handed them several pamphlets – Naz tried not to focus too hard on the ones about termination – and went through Naz's chart.

"Everything looks good so far," she said, patting the exam table. "Hop up here, love. Dad, you can sit right there."

Dad. The word made Aurélien's breath catch audibly.

"This might be a bit cold," the nurse warned as she applied the gel to Naz's stomach. Aurélien moved his chair closer, his eyes fixed on the screen.

For a moment, there was just static, and then...

"There we go," the nurse said softly. "See that little flutter? That's the heartbeat."

Naz heard Aurélien's sharp intake of breath. She turned to look at him and found his eyes were glassy, his usually composed expression cracking around the edges.

"Quite strong for eight weeks," the nurse continued, taking measurements. "Everything looks perfectly normal. Would you like a picture to take home?"

"Yes," Aurélien said immediately, then looked at Naz. "If... if that's okay?"

She nodded, not trusting her voice. Because that flutter on the screen... that was real. That was their baby. Not just cells, but a actual heartbeat and an embryo.

The nurse printed two copies of the ultrasound – "One for each of you" – and helped Naz clean up. "I'll give you a moment," she said, heading for the door. "When you're ready, there's a private exit through the back. I assume you'd prefer that?"

Aurélien nodded gratefully. Being spotted at a women's clinic was the last thing either of them needed right now.

Once they were alone, he looked down at the ultrasound picture in his hands. His fingers traced the tiny shape that would become their child.

"It's so small," he whispered.

"Yeah." Naz slid off the table, straightening her clothes.

"But that heartbeat..." He shook his head in wonder. "That was... fuck, Naz."

"I know." She leaned into him, and his arm came around her automatically.

"You still scared?"

"Terrified."

He pressed a kiss to her temple. "Me too. But maybe a little less than before?"

She nodded against his chest. The flutter of that heartbeat had changed something, made it all more real but also somehow less overwhelming. Maybe because now they were facing it together.

"Come on," he said finally, grabbing his duffel bag. "Let's get out of here. We can grab some food, talk more about everything."

The nurse was waiting by the back exit, holding the door open for them. "Take care of each other," she said softly as they passed.

Aurélien's hand found the small of Naz's back, guiding her through the door into the afternoon sun. His other hand was still holding the ultrasound picture, tucked safely in his pocket like something precious.

Maybe because it was.

Aurélien stifled another yawn as he sat against the training pitch wall, water bottle dangling from his fingers. The 5 AM flight from London had him running on fumes, but it wasn't just the lack of sleep weighing on him. Last night with Naz had been... intense. Hours of tears and whispered conversations, trying to map out a future neither of them had planned for.

He'd held her while she cried about her career, about her mother's inevitable reaction, about all the ways this could go wrong. Then she'd held him when the reality of everything finally hit and he'd broken down too.

Uncle Bertrand's lecture still rang in his ears: "Sexual responsibility, Djani. Being a man means facing consequences." Like he didn't know that. Like the ultrasound picture burning a hole in his wallet wasn't consequence enough.

Fling. The word kept bouncing around his head, making him grimace. That's what everyone would call Naz – his fling, his hookup, maybe his special friend if they were being polite. But how do you label someone who's seen you at your lowest after losing crucial matches? Someone who stays up till 3 AM discussing racism in football commentary? Someone who gets why you sometimes feel like you're not enough, even when you're playing for Real Madrid?

And now she was carrying his child.

"Yo." Cama's voice cut through his thoughts as his teammate dropped down beside him. Jude wasn't far behind, settling into the grass with that easy confidence of his.

"You look like shit, mate," Jude offered helpfully.

Aurélien took another swig of water. "Early flight."

"From London?" Cama's tone was careful, too careful. "We saw the blogs. About Naz."

The ultrasound picture felt heavier in his wallet. "Yeah."

"Everything good?" Jude asked, and Aurélien could hear the real question underneath: Are you good?

He stared out at the training pitch, at the pristine grass that had always been his escape. But football couldn't solve this one. Couldn't tell him how to be a father at 24, how to protect Naz from the media shitstorm that was coming, how to balance a baby with his career.

"She's pregnant," he said finally, the words still feeling foreign on his tongue.

The silence that followed was deafening. Then:

"Fuck," from Jude.

"Putain," from Cama.

Aurélien let out a humorless laugh. "Yeah."

"What are you gonna do?" Cama asked, all traces of his usual playfulness gone.

"Keep it." He didn't realize he'd made that decision until the words came out. "I want to keep it."

"You sure?" Jude's voice was gentle. "It's a lot, mate. The press alone..."

"Fuck the press." Aurélien pulled the ultrasound from his wallet, looked at that tiny flutter of life that had changed everything. "We saw the heartbeat yesterday. It's... it's real."

His teammates leaned in to look at the picture, and for a moment, they were just three young guys staring at something miraculous and terrifying.

"What if she goes through with it?" Jude asked carefully. "The abortion. Would you be mad?"

Aurélien stared at the grass, rolling the water bottle between his palms. Was he ready to be a father? Hell no. But could he just let Naz terminate their pregnancy? The thought made his stomach turn.

"I can't be mad at her. It's her choice too," he said finally. "I support her right to her choice, but... it's different when it's your baby."

"Is it your baby though?" Cama's face had that weird look he got when he was about to say something controversial. Both Jude and Aurélien glared at him. "We know those types of girls.... we fuck 'em and leave 'em but they have other plans."

"Naz isn't like that," Aurélien's voice went hard.

"Naz who also hangs out with Destiny who was with me and is now making her way through the team," Cama pushed back.

Aurélien let out a frustrated huff. "Naz never gave me that vibe. She even shared her location - she was too focused on me."

"Whoa, she shared her location with you?" Jude's eyebrows shot up.

"Once or twice. Thing is, I always knew where she was at.... so yeah, definitely my baby."

Jude scoffed, shaking his head. "I can't believe you went raw. Like condoms aren't fun and all, but they protect you."

"Thanks Jude, really needed that advice," Aurélien said sarcastically.

"But you want a baby?" Cama pressed. "Bro, you won't be able to have fun."

"I can still have fun, but it'll be different now. Have to be more responsible."

"No more clubs, no more trips... you'll be out here worrying about nappies and which bottle is best." Jude sounded almost sad about it.

Aurélien shrugged. "I'm a homebody anyways, so what's the point? Is this what I want right now while going through this bullshit? No. But I was there making that baby with her, so it is what it is."

"I still think you should do a DNA test first." Aurélien shot Cama another glare, and his teammate put up his hands in surrender. "Just for your peace of mind."

"It's too early to do that. We'd have to keep it and then wait to do one."

"Fuck..." Cama exhaled heavily. "So do you let her get rid of it then?"

"Don't call the baby 'it'," Aurélien snapped. "That's not an 'it'. That's my kid."

The silence that followed was heavy with understanding. This wasn't just about Aurélien anymore, or even about Naz. It was about that tiny flutter of life that had somehow changed everything.

"Whatever she decides..." Jude started carefully.

"Yeah." Aurélien finally tucked the picture away. "Whatever she decides. But fuck, I hope she doesn't..."

He couldn't finish the sentence. Couldn't voice his fear that Naz might choose differently, that she might end this before it really began. Because how do you tell someone you want them to keep a baby neither of you planned for? How do you ask them to change their whole life because you can't stop thinking about that little heartbeat?

The whistle blew, signaling the end of their break. As they stood, Cama bumped his shoulder.

"You know we got you, right? Whatever you need."

"Yeah," Jude added. "Even if it's just covering for you when you're falling asleep during training."

Aurélien rolled his eyes, but the knot in his chest loosened slightly. Maybe they weren't ready for any of this – the baby, the responsibility, the scrutiny that was coming. But at least they weren't facing it alone.

Back to football. Back to pretending his whole world hadn't just shifted on its axis.

"Tchouaméni!" Ancelotti called out. "Focus!"

He'd missed a simple pass – the kind he could usually make in his sleep. But his head was somewhere else, somewhere in London with Naz, probably still crying on her bedroom floor.

"Sorry, Coach," he called back, shaking his head to clear it.

Training continued, but every movement felt mechanical. Pass, move, track back. His body knew what to do even if his mind was elsewhere. During shooting practice, he caught himself thinking about baby-proofing his villa. While defending set pieces, he wondered if the baby would have Naz's eyes.

"You're in your head," Cama said during another water break. "Coach is noticing."

"Let him notice." Aurélien took a long drink. "Got bigger things to worry about."

"Like what crib to buy?" Jude teased, but his smile faded when he saw Aurélien's expression. "Wait, are you actually-"

"I looked at some last night," Aurélien admitted quietly. "When Naz finally fell asleep. Found this really nice one, all white with gold trim-"

"Bro," Cama cut in. "You can't be planning nurseries when she hasn't even decided if-"

"I know!" The water bottle crumpled in Aurélien's grip. "You think I don't know that? But what else am I supposed to do? Just sit around waiting for her to decide if my kid gets to exist or not?"

A few teammates glanced their way at his outburst. Jude stepped closer, blocking their view.

"Maybe that's exactly what you need to do," he said gently. "Show her you'll support her either way. That it's really her choice."

"Even if her choice kills me?"

The raw honesty in his voice made both his friends pause. This wasn't their usual Aurélien – confident, composed, always in control. This was someone terrified of losing something he hadn't even known he wanted until yesterday.

"Send her the crib," Cama said suddenly.

"What?"

"Send her the link to the crib you liked. Show her you're thinking about it. About the future. But don't pressure her. Just... let her know you're ready if she is."

Aurélien stared at him. "That's... actually smart."

"I have my moments." Cama grinned. "Now can you please focus on training before Coach makes us all run sprints?"

But focusing was impossible. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw that ultrasound image. Every time he caught his breath, he heard that tiny heartbeat. And every time his phone buzzed in the locker room, his heart stopped, wondering if this was the message from Naz that would either make or break him.

Because that's what it came down to, really. In less than 48 hours, he'd gone from being Real Madrid's midfielder to potentially being someone's father. And somehow, impossibly, the second title felt bigger than the first.

****************************************************************

After training, Aurélien found Uncle Bertrand waiting in his kitchen, sage burning because "the energy needs cleansing, nephew." The older man was stirring something that smelled like his grandmother's cooking, probably trying to comfort him with food like always.

"You look tired, Djani," Bertrand said, not turning around. "Sit. Eat."

"I'm not hungry-"

"Sit."

Aurélien sat. Some battles weren't worth fighting, especially with Uncle Bertrand.

"Have you spoken to Nazanin today?"

"Not since I left London." He pulled out his phone, staring at their last text exchange from this morning: Landed safely. Get some rest. And her reply: You too.

"You should call her."

"And say what?" Aurélien pushed his food around the plate. "'Hey, I know you're dealing with possibly the biggest decision of your life, but I found this really nice crib online?'"

Bertrand turned, fixing him with that look that always made him feel about five years old. "Is that what you want to say to her?"

"I don't know what I want to say. I don't know what I can say." He dropped his fork. "She could terminate and there's nothing I can do about it."

"This is true."

"I'd have to support her decision."

"Also true."

"But uncle…" His voice cracked slightly. "I saw the heartbeat."

Bertrand's expression softened. "I know, nephew. But Nazanin must make this choice herself. Without pressure."

"Even from me?"

"Especially from you." Bertrand sat across from him. "But showing her you're thinking of the future? This is not pressure. This is… hope."

Aurélien pulled out his phone again, found the crib he'd bookmarked during those sleepless hours in London. White with gold trim, converting into a toddler bed, probably cost more than some people's cars but…

"Send it," Bertrand said softly.

His thumb hovered over the link. Then:

Saw this last night. Made me think about possibilities.

He hit send before he could overthink it.

Three dots appeared almost immediately. Disappeared. Appeared again. His heart was somewhere in his throat when her reply finally came through:

It's beautiful.

Then: But expensive.

Money's not an issue, he typed back.

Aurel…

Just showing you I'm thinking about it. About everything. No pressure.

A longer pause this time. Then: I had an appointment with a counselor today.

His hands were shaking slightly as he replied: Yeah? How'd it go?

She helped me see some things clearly.

His stomach dropped. This was it. She was going to tell him she'd made her decision, that she was going to-

I'm scared of doing this alone.

Relief flooded through him. You're not alone. Never alone with this.

Promise?

On everything. On football. On my life.

She sent back a heart emoji, then: The crib really is beautiful.

"See?" Bertrand's voice made him jump – he'd almost forgotten his uncle was there. "Hope."

"She's still scared."

"Of course she is. You're both children yourselves."

"I'm twenty-four-"

"Children," Bertrand repeated firmly. "But children can grow. Children can learn. Children can become parents, if they choose."

If they choose. Those words again. Always coming back to choice.

His phone buzzed one more time: Send me more nursery stuff you like?

Something warm bloomed in his chest. "Uncle?"

"Mm?"

"I think… I think we might be having a baby."

Bertrand's smile was gentle. "Perhaps. But first, you eat. Growing fathers need their strength."

Aurélien looked down at his plate, found himself actually hungry for the first time all day. Because maybe Naz hadn't made her final decision yet, but she was thinking about cribs and nurseries and possibilities.

And right now, possibility felt a lot like hope.

"You know," Bertrand said carefully, watching his nephew finally eat, "we still need to discuss your mother."

The fork clattered against the plate. Aurélien's head dropped to the cool marble countertop with a dull thud. "Fuck!"

"Language."

"Sorry, uncle, but… fuck." He pressed his forehead harder against the marble. "She already called me twice about those blog posts."

"Mm." Bertrand's hum was knowing. "She wasn't pleased."

That was an understatement. His mother had been livid about seeing her son's 'private affairs' splashed across gossip sites. She had very specific ideas about how a footballer should conduct himself – everything behind closed doors, everything properly managed.

"'Sowing your wild oats is one thing, Aurélien,'" he mimicked her tone, "'but discretion is everything.'"

"And now?"

"Now I have to tell her those wild oats actually sprouted." He lifted his head just enough to bang it against the counter again. "She's going to kill me."

"She won't kill you." Bertrand paused. "Maim you, perhaps."

"Not helping, uncle."

"Have you thought about how you'll tell her?"

"I was kind of hoping you'd do it?" He tried his most winning smile, the one that usually got him out of trouble.

"No." Bertrand's response was immediate. "This is your responsibility."

"But-"

"Your mother needs to hear this from you. Not from me, not from the blogs, not from some PR statement." Bertrand's voice softened. "She needs to see you taking responsibility."

Aurélien finally sat up, rubbing his forehead. "She's going to say I'm too young. That I'm ruining my career. That I should've been more careful-"

"All true things."

"Uncle."

"But," Bertrand continued, "she is also your mother. And that?" He pointed to Aurélien's phone, still open to his conversation with Naz about nursery furniture. "That will be her grandchild. If Nazanin chooses to keep it."

"If." That word again, hanging heavy between them.

"Your mother might surprise you. But she needs to hear it from you, Djani. Man to mother."

His phone lit up with another text from Naz – a different crib design, this one with a matching changing table. His heart did that weird flutter thing again.

"I'll call her later," he decided. "After I talk to Naz more. Figure out where we stand."

Bertrand nodded approvingly. "Good. Now finish your food. You have nursery furniture to shop for."

"You're enjoying this way too much."

"I'm old, nephew. Let me have my future grand-uncle joy."

Aurélien shook his head, but he was smiling as he picked up his fork again. One hurdle at a time. First Naz, then his mother, then… everything else.

His phone buzzed again. A message from his mother this time: We need to talk about these blogs, Aurélien.

He stared at it for a long moment before typing back: Yes, we do. Tomorrow?

Her response was immediate: Finally. See you then. Love you.

"Fuck," he whispered again, but softly enough that Uncle Bertrand wouldn't hear.

Because how exactly do you tell your image-conscious mother that those blog posts were about to become the least of her worries?

.............tbd

[hyorijie]

Valentine's Day Special

Little Dear | Alastor x F!Reader

Warnings Smut, Nsfw, Alastor is in hell for a reason, possessiveness, attraction, sexual tension, strangers to lovers, P in V, raunchy sex, creampie, Lector is in hell for a reason, bratty attitude, Discord (Lucifer), MDNI, Typical canon violence, Mafia implications, Mimzy knows who is Reader, lots of bad language. Summary Fleeing a fate worse than damnation, your steps lead you to the Hazbin Hotel, the most ridiculed place in all of Hell. You couldn't have come at a worse time much less crossed paths with the worst person in Hell. N: I'm sorry for the delay, there were some technical problems (disease) but here I bring this piece of smut, enjoy! Second story coming soon *wink*.

Of all the places you could be right now, you never imagined you would end up in front of the huge, decadent Hazbin Hotel, the place that all hell was making fun of as if it were a bad joke. A place that, for many, was nothing more than a badly told joke, a ridiculous fantasy of redemption in a world where forgiveness was as scarce as sunlight.

And you were beginning to think you had arrived at the worst possible moment.

Your gaze swept over the scene in front of you, trying to process the spectacle of overflowing tension unfolding between the King of Hell and the radio demon.

How had you ended up right in the middle of this? Just another tenant in a hotel that sold itself as a haven of redemption, caught up in a game of egos that vibrated with static electricity and bad intentions.

Cornered between facing the consequences of your decisions or running away without dignity, you had chosen the latter. But now you were here, caught in a storm of power and influence where every glance carried a different poison.

The nervous twitch in Alastor's eye did not go unnoticed by you. His usual mischievous grin was stiff, the pressure of his jaw evident even beneath the glint of his sharp expression. One glance and you knew this was going downhill imminently.

Lucifer stood there, with his imposing bearing - despite his short stature - and that damned smile of false courtesy, holding his staff with an apple on the tip, as if this was all a game that he was assured of winning. Alastor, for his part, remained steadfast, radiating a presence that darkened the atmosphere, especially when his hands rested too familiarly on Charlie's shoulders.

It was an instant, a spark, but enough for Lucifer to intervene. His smile didn't falter for a second, but the way he pushed Alastor's hand away with a swipe of his forearm made his displeasure clear.

You watched as Alastor brought his hand to the affected area and slowly stroked it with his fingertips, without losing his smile.

A shiver ran down your spine.

Not from the blow, but from the look the red demon cast towards the sovereign.

It was not anger.

And yet, it was still something dangerous.

You rolled your eyes, feeling that you were witnessing the most ridiculous and dangerous rivalry at the same time. As if both were two beasts in a territorial duel, using gestures and sharp words instead of claws and fangs.

—Charlie, daughter, why don't you introduce me to your other friends? — Lucifer exclaimed in a light tone, his melodic and charming voice echoing in the air. His staff was raised a little higher, the red apple glowing in the light.

Charlie broadly, trying to hide the obvious tension in the air.

— Oh, of course! Dad, this is Vaggie, my girlfriend.— replied the princess, as she looked at Vaggie with a cozy, sweet affection.

The King of Hell seemed to exhale with relief at hearing the word "bride," as if that dispelled any misconceptions that hovered in his mind about the closeness between his daughter and Alastor. The latter, however, remained in the background, his dark eyes watching the scene closely.

It was only for a second, but you felt his gaze meet yours.

That simple eye contact was enough for a shiver to settle on your back.

You didn't know how long you were caught in that exchange of glances until Charlie grabbed your arm, abruptly pulling you out of your thoughts and away from Alastor's enveloping presence.

— And she, Dad, is our new tenant. —Charlie announced excitedly.Lucifer turned his attention to you, and for the first time, examined you with genuine curiosity.

—Well...— he whispered, smiling a broad, refined smile.

In his bright gaze something difficult to decipher. Perhaps surprise. Perhaps interest. Or maybe he was just evaluating something he himself found fascinating.

As if it was the first time he had seen a sinner without obvious demonic traits.He stepped forward and took your hand gently, bending slightly to bring it to his lips.

— It's such a pleasure.— he murmured, his silky voice bordering on charming and calculating.

His touch was brief, just a light pressure of his lips against your skin, but enough to send a shiver through you. You knew how to hide it well, keeping your expression serene, but when Lucifer winked at you in an uncovered way, the discomfort became more evident inside you.

Instinctively, your gaze lifted... and you made a grave mistake.

Alastor was no longer simply staring.

No.

The twitch in his eye had intensified, his smile was strained to the point of looking like an edge about to tear. His brow barely furrowed, his fingers gripping his cane with calculated pressure.

The atmosphere became dense, and without warning, the sharp stroke of his staff broke the contact between your hand and Lucifer's.

— Oh, what a pity, your majesty! —Alastor intoned with venomous politeness, bowing his head in mock apology.— I didn't notice.

The impact resounded, but Lucifer only raised an eyebrow, smirking.

— How clumsy, Alastor. I'm surprised you're not more careful. — Alastor kept his smile, but the darkness in his eyes intensified.

— It's a flaw of mine, I suppose.— he replied with wry lightness, as his fingers gripped his staff tighter.

The air around him vibrated with a slight crackle of static.

And then, the tension exploded in a crossfire of words laden with mockery, defiance and hatred disguised as diplomacy. Subtle insults and veiled jabs of arrogance filled the air until, finally, Alastor dropped the entire facade of politeness with a single word, one that escaped his mouth with a charge of pure irritation.

— Fuck you! — The filter in his voice distorted the word, but the rage hidden in it was impossible to ignore.

Lucifer blinked, then laughed. Not with genuine amusement, but with the kind of laughter of someone enjoying an impending fight.

And you, caught in the middle of it all, could only wonder how the hell you were going to get out of there without the situation becoming even more chaotic.

Because if one thing was certain...It was that the storm was just beginning.

The air was already tense, charged with the growing hostility between Lucifer and Alastor, when suddenly a third voice broke into the conversation.

— I've arrived, Al!

The high-pitched, overly animated sound contrasted with the gravity of the moment, causing a regretful silence in the room. Everyone present turned their heads towards the newcomer, with the same puzzled expression, as a hulking figure strode forward with a firm step and imposing attitude.

Lucifer narrowed his eyes, visibly irritated by the interruption.

— Ah, Who? — he asked coolly, his eyebrow arching as he didn't recognize the voice.

But the answer came before anyone could explain.

— Mimzy, of course! — Your stomach cringed at the sound of that name.

As soon as your eyes recognized her, they widened like saucers. Mimzy. That damn woman.

Murmurs began to spread through the room as the relationship between her and Alastor became apparent. Her closeness with the radio demon, the familiarity with which she had called him...even the slight relaxation in Alastor's posture at the sight of her.

A new detail that left everyone in shock.

Alastor, who barely and barely tolerated the presence of most, seemed... pleased with her arrival.

But the worst was not that.

The worst was that, after scanning the room with an air of superiority, Mimzy fixed her attention on Lucifer, and her expression changed. His eyes shone with a particular sparkle, his face took on a smile of fascination and admiration.

Oh, of course.

Now she was also dazzled by the ruler of Hell.

You rolled your eyes, trying to ignore her as you discreetly slid up to the bar. You grabbed a glass at random and raised it slowly, pretending to be more interested in the drink than the new arrival.

Maybe, just maybe, if you didn't look at her, she wouldn't notice you.

But you knew it was a futile hope.

Your hunch was confirmed when Mimzy, with all the confidence in the world, advanced to the bar and settled next to you, waiting for Husk to pour her something strong.Your breathing remained steady, but your body was stiff.

Angel Dust, at your side, seemed much more interested in deciphering the relationship between Mimzy and Alastor than in noticing your discomfort.

But Mimzy did notice.

She watches you with a slight frown, as if trying to remember where she met you.

And then, it happened.

Her expression changed completely when she recognized your face.

—So here you were! — she exclaimed, his shrill tone piercing your ears like a rusty nail.

Your heart skipped a beat, but you reacted immediately.

— I don't know what you're talking about, I don't know you,— you answered in a modulated voice, trying to feign disinterest.

But it was too late.

Mimzy didn't buy your act for a second.

Her eyes narrowed and a smile full of venom spread across her face.

— Come on...— she murmured, leaning toward you with a sweet but intent tone. — You left everyone dead by your departure.

The sentence was carefully constructed. It was not a simple comment, but an accusation disguised as nostalgia.

You knew exactly what he meant.Your throat went dry for a moment, but before you could respond, before you could even process the weight of his words...An explosion reverberated through the hotel.

The walls vibrated violently, the lights flickered, and the deafening roar of the detonation rippled through the building, throwing several of those present to the floor.

Chaos erupted in an instant.

Cries of confusion and alarm rose, mingling with the crunch of falling debris. Husk cursed loudly, covering his head, as Angel Dust clung to the counter to keep from being knocked over.

Your glass shattered against the floor as the impact jolted you, but you didn't have time to worry about it.

Turning your head, your pulse racing and your mind still shaken by the recent explosion that had erupted before your eyes, you found Mimzy in a state of absolute hysteria. Her hands were shaking, her eyes moving frantically, as if her mind was trying to calculate at full speed the next step.

You frowned suspiciously. There was something about her reaction that didn't quite add up. It wasn't just fear, but an unmistakable certainty that she knew exactly what was going on.

And make no mistake.

The clatter of furious pounding against the gate echoed through the air, followed by a male voice exploding with

—Mimzy! You fucking bitch, we know you're here. — The threat came with the force of thunder, echoing off the walls, charged with hatred and the promise of imminent violence.

Your breathing stopped for a moment. That tone... that voice... A shiver ran down your spine as your mind immediately identified it. The world around you seemed to vanish for a second.

— Holy shit... — you whispered, feeling your heart hammering in your chest.

But you were not alone in that recognition. Next to you, Mimzy murmured exactly the same thing.

Her eyes met yours. You didn't need words to understand what that meant. You were both running from the same nightmare.

Before you could process it, a blinding glow illuminated the room and a portal burst open. From inside emerged Charlie, his father and Vaggie. The latter, with a frown on her face and her voice heavy with tension, asked:

— ¿Qué carajo? — Vaggie exclaimed coming out of the portal.

Chaos was tangible in the air. Mimzy, still panting, confessed with a frustrated addition:

— I fucked those bastards.

Of course, you wouldn't judge her. You had done exactly the same thing. But there was a problem.

They didn't know you were here.

— Hey, you filthy pieces of shit! — A shrill, mocking voice pierced the tension of the moment, freezing your blood. — Guess who's here!

Panic turned to pure fire in your veins. You turned your head just in time to see the wretched woman who, with a cruel smile, was screaming your name at the top of her lungs, handing over your location to those damn sharks.

For an instant, rage and survival instinct eclipsed all other thoughts.

You let out a choked scream and, without thinking twice, you threw yourself on her with the force of a wild beast.

— Fucking bitch! I'll kill you! — you bellowed as you lunged into the air.

The impact sent both of you crashing onto the bar with a crash. Glasses and bottles shattered under the weight of the fight. The bitch went cold, trying to get away, but you didn't give her a chance. Your fists descended in fury, slamming into her face with a rage that had been building up for some time.

In the background, Charlie screamed in terror, trying to stop the fight.

Angel jumped back, stumbling and falling over a table with a curse.

And Husker... that bastard just laughed, eyes narrowed in pure delight, watching you smash the face of the wretch who had just put your life in danger.

Chaos erupted in the hotel like a symphony of destruction. While your hands still clutched the traitor with the intention of beating her existence out of existence, an explosion of fire erupted inside the building. The shockwave shook the walls and sent flames in all directions, devouring curtains and reducing furniture to ashes.

From outside, the clatter of splintering wood and the deafening screams of the mobsters indicated that they had not come to negotiate. No, those bastards had brought a damn catapult.

— HAHAAHA! You've got guts, you cock-warming bitch! — roared a mocking voice from outside. — Did you really think you could run away from me, beauty?!

The tone was a mixture of sadistic delight and suppressed fury. The blood in your veins froze, but the rage was stronger. You wanted to move, to tear out the throat of the one who had betrayed you, but a pair of arms held you tightly.

— That's enough, doll! — Angel Dust struggled with you, pulling with all her might until you managed to break free from Mimzy.

The woman was left leaning against the bar, panting with a blank stare. Her face was bruised, her lipstick smeared, her hair a mess of curls and blood. You were in no better shape, but at least you could stand.

The tension rose as Vaggie, his face alight with fury, raised his spear with determination.

— I'm not going to stand here and wait for them to kill us, I'm going to fight those bastards!

Her shout echoed loudly, but before she could take another step, a guttural, mocking laugh came from behind her.

— Easy, my dear... — Alastor's voice, charming and dark at the same time, drifted through the air like a shiver. — Leave them to me.

A heavy silence spread as his smile widened wider than any normal face should allow.

— I'll show them all... why I'm here.

His figure began to change, elongating in a spiral of shadows and twisted energy. His antlers grew with a grotesque crackle, expanding like infernal branches. Its eyes took on a dull, sinister glow, dark dials swirling in its pupils as its body distended into imposing size. The atmosphere became suffocating.

From the floor, Mimzy let out a dry laugh.

— Finally! You were late, you bastard!

Alastor's laughter was the last thing you saw before he slid out the door with inhuman grace, leaving behind an echo of pure malevolence.

But while he indulged in his personal carnage, another battle raged inside.Lucifer, standing with the elegance of a king on the verge of an announced collapse, looked at his daughter with a grave expression.

—This is what I was trying to tell you, Charlie. — His voice was calm, but with an edge of deadly warning. — Sinners will never change.

Charlie, his face creaking and his hands trembling, clenched his fists tightly.Hell was on fire, and his conviction hung in the balance.

Flames were still smoldering in the wreckage when the massacre finally came to an end.

The air was thick with the smell of blood, gunpowder and burnt flesh. Outside, the dismembered bodies of the mobsters mingled with the rubble, and in the center of it all, Alastor was settling his jacket with a satisfied smile.

Inside the hotel, Charlie was trying, almost desperately, to talk some sense into his father.

— Dad, don't you see? — Her voice was laden with emotion, the pain visible in his expression. — Alastor may have... brutal methods, but at least he's helping us. Isn't that what matters?

Lucifer watched her in silence, his face inscrutable. His eyes reflected the disappointment of someone who had already seen the truth countless times and expected nothing different.

The scene was touching, it really was.

But you were too busy directing looks of pure contempt at Mimzy, who, of course, merely shrugged her shoulders with an expression of indifference. Her attitude only fueled your anger, but before you could say anything, a hoarse, cracked voice caught everyone's attention.

The last shark demon, staggering with its mangled body, dared to speak.

— You may be protecting those two bitches now... — His voice dripped venom, barely held by the thread of life she had left. — But that bitch who came before Mimzy is mine, MINE, AND I WILL KILL HER!

His words pierced the air with utter contempt.

A tense silence fell over the scene.

For an instant, Alastor did not react. His smile froze on his face, his head tilting just a millimeter as if he was processing what he had just heard.

Then he laughed.

A slow, thick laugh, full of twisted delight.

— She's yours, you say? — he repeated with unnatural sweetness. — Oh, wow... that's pretty hilarious.

And without giving a chance for more words, he devoured it.

Slowly.

Painfully.

The shark's shrieks of agony mingled with the sounds of its flesh being ripped away, its life snuffed out in desperate death throes.

Everyone present stood in complete silence, unable to look away from the horror show.

Finally, when it was all over, Alastor exhaled with satisfaction and shook his hands as if he had simply got rid of a little annoyance.

— Ah, my. — he commented in an almost nonchalant tone. — It's been a long time since I've been able to let off steam in such a way.

He settled his jacket with meticulous precision, as if nothing had happened.

Mimzy, who had been paralyzed all this time, straightened up like a frightened animal. Even with her attitude discarded, she could not hide the trembling in her hands as she muttered.

— Well... thanks for the help, Alastor. — Then, with a mocking and ironic tone, he added: — I'm very sorry for the disasters.

The demon did not respond immediately.

His smile was still present, but there was something else in his expression... something dangerous.

Then, when she dared to continue speaking, blurting out a comment about what a good friend he was, Alastor simply closed his eyes for a moment.His brow furrowed slightly.

— Go away, Mimzy. Get out.— His voice had not changed in sweetness, but the edge in his words was unmistakable.

She blinked, surprised by the cold tone.

— Huh? What's the matter with you now?

— You came here deliberately — he continued with forced patience — and endangered everyone. Go away... before I end up with you too.

The shiver that ran through Mimzy was almost visible. But instead of keeping quiet, her wounded pride made her let out one last retort, furious and defensive.

— This hotel is a trash ball full of freaks and misfits!

However, when his dark eyes landed on you, something inside you tensed.

The way he looked at you, with that smile still plastered on his face but with a twinkle in his eye that you couldn't quite decipher, sent a shiver down your spine.It was a warning.

Or something worse.

The atmosphere was still charged with the tension of what had happened, but you were no longer paying attention to any of it.

The murmur of the others faded into a distant echo as you made a clear decision in your mind: leave that damned hotel from hell.

That place was permeated with bad luck, with absolute chaos, with problems that only seemed to multiply.

Slipping into the shadows, you began to walk away without arousing suspicion. No one seemed to notice, too absorbed in the drama of Mimzy and Alastor, in the feud between Charlie and Lucifer, in the mess that still smoldered inside and outside the hotel.

You don't look back. There was no reason to.

Running through the corridors, you reached your room with your heart pounding in your chest, more from the urgency to leave than from fear. Once inside, you closed the door tightly and hurried to gather your things.

Your hands worked fast, saving the essentials: the little you had brought with you, any valuables, and, of course, the money you had stolen from that damned mobster.

With every bill you put in the bag, you felt a kind of bitter satisfaction. At least you'd walk away with something.

But when you finished and headed for the door, something changed.

The air became thick.

The electricity in the air crackled with a strange static that raised the hairs on the back of your neck.

Before your hand touched the doorknob, a presence materialized behind you.

— Too much of a hurry to flee, my dear? — Alastor's voice hit you with a mixture of sharp sweetness and a buzz of static that chilled you to the bone.

Your muscles immediately tensed.

Something inside you screamed that you were not afraid. That you didn't show weakness.

There is nothing behind you. Don't look at it. Just open the door and walk away.

You rested your hand on the knob firmly, but as soon as you tried to turn it, a dry snap echoed in the room.

A sound similar to that of a disappointed parent reprimanding a disobedient child.

— Too bad, precious... — His tone became more serious, much more than you had ever heard from him before. And worse. He didn't have the filter.

It was his real voice.

A primitive, deep sound, a whisper of something that was not meant to exist on this plane.

The sensation that ran through your body was not just a shiver. It was absolute terror.Your fingers loosened on the doorknob.

You knew you could no longer ignore it.

Slowly, with the weight of uncertainty weighing on you, you turned around.

The silence between the two of you was a suffocating presence in the room.

You watch him closely, every little detail of your posture, every shadow that seemed to move subtly around his figure. To the naked eye, Alastor seemed serene , completely at ease, with that polite smile that always adorned his face like an unwavering mask.

If you hadn't heard that voice of his moments before, the real one, the one that demanded and threatened with a tone that rumbled in your bones, you could have sworn he even seemed docile.

But you were not naive. He could not deceive you.

Fear pulsed in your veins like a slow poison, but still, it forced you to keep your composure. Pretending bravery was the only thing you could do, even if you knew you didn't really possess it.

You stepped forward, you faced him.

— What the hell do you care if I leave or not? — you demanded, your voice trying to sound firm, though the slight tremor in it betrayed you.

Alastor let out a loud, raucous laugh, the radio filter distorting the sound with an unsettling echo.

You felt a spark of genuine anger.

You gritted your teeth, forcing yourself to resist the mockery, and waited for him to speak.

— Honey, you can stop pretending.— he said with obvious mockery, his smile stretching in an almost predatory manner. — That role of bravery doesn't fit you.

And then he advanced.

His steps were firm, graceful, but had an implied danger that made you, without thinking, step back.Still, you held his gaze.

— To run away from those pathetic attempts of demons, to hide perfectly and only be found by a betrayal... my dear, I'm impressed. — Her voice took on a honeyed, enveloping, manipulative tone. — What did you do?

The weight of his words fell on you like an unbearable burden.

But you would not falter. Not with him.

— Leave me alone — you answer in a broken voice. You wanted to sound calm, but you weren't succeeding. And you both knew it. — I just want to leave this place.

Alastor arched an eyebrow, feigning consideration, before narrowing the distance between you alarmingly.

— Mmm... I don't know. — His tone took on a more amused tinge, as if he was enjoying the game. —I have another detail in mind.

His smile widened, and the gleam in his red eyes became even more intense.

— That piece of meat I devoured a few minutes ago said something very interesting? — he muttered mischievously. — He called you a "cock warmer", if I'm not mistaken.

His gaze descended slowly and deliberately down your body, analyzing you as if you were a piece up for auction.

— A very appropriate name for you, indeed.

The boiling of your blood was immediate .

You gritted your teeth, rage burning in your chest as you glared at him.

— Fuck you... — you whispered angrily.

And in the blink of an eye, the distance between you disappeared.

— Do you think I didn't see how the great king, Lucifer, looked at you like a dirty doll to satisfy? — he remarked with apparent amusement, though his voice had a bitter, dark note, hard to decipher.

The way he said it, with that cutting laugh, with that tone full of an emotion you could not understand, puzzled you.

You opened your eyes in surprise, incredulous at his words.

But you weren't going to let yourself be swept away in anger.

If he wanted to play, then you would provoke him into his own game.

You smiled sideways, and in a mocking tone, you blurted out:

— Don't tell me... is it envy I see and hear? —you raised an eyebrow while tilting your face.

The twinkle in your eye was a direct challenge.

Alastor tightened his smile for the first time .

And that was enough for you to seize the opportunity.

— I think someone wants the place of the sexy sovereign. — you whispered provocatively and mockingly.

The demon's expression froze for only an instant, before returning to normal. But you noticed the way his fingers twitched subtly.

You smiled even wider.

— I bet if I went right now, I could check out how good your majesty is. — Your voice took on a seductive cadence, accompanied by a deliberate gesture: you bit your lower lip as slowly as possible.

The result was instantaneous .

Alastor growled.

A real growl, low and dangerous, as his patience finally broke.

In one swift movement, he cornered you against the door , his arms locking you in with no escape.

Breaths mingled dangerously at such a distance.

You met his gaze closely, his eyes burning with something you hadn't seen in them before.

When he spoke, his voice descended to a dangerous murmur, laden with a dense, heavy weight, something you didn't know whether to interpret as a threat or... something worse.

— Don't push your luck, my dear.— His tone was serious, and there was a latent frustration in it that took your breath away.

Latent sexual frustration.

The cadence in his voice distorted your perception of things, and you felt dizzy seeing him in this state.

— Any luck? — You whispered with irony as he laughed — Come on, dear radio demon, we both know what you want — You exclaimed looking him in the eyes.

Alastor's lip curved into a predatory smile as he heard your response. The frustration you glimpsed in his eyes intensified, but he did not recoil. On the contrary, he seemed pleased to have provoked such a bold reaction in you.

— Oh, really? Enlighten me, my dear, what do you think I want? — His breath caressed your face as he spoke, and you could feel the slight trembling of his body against yours.

Fury raged through you like wildfire, but you would not allow yourself to show weakness. You lifted your chin and looked him straight in the eye, not giving an inch of ground.

— Don't play. We both know this isn't about Lucifer or my past. It's about power. It's about control. And about proving that you can have what you want, when you want it.

Alastor let out a soft chuckle, laden with cynicism.

— Insightful, as always. But you're wrong about one thing, precious. Power and control are certainly attractive, but what I'm really interested in is seeing how far you're willing to go to protect your secrets. — He brought his face even closer to yours, his red eyes shining with an almost hypnotic intensity.

— How much are you willing to sacrifice? Your dignity? Your morals? Or perhaps... something more valuable?

Your heart was pounding in your chest, but you refused to look away.

— have nothing to offer you, Alastor. And I'm not afraid of you.

— Ah, aren't you? —He whispered, his tone suggesting otherwise. — Then why are you trembling?

His hand slowly rose and brushed your cheek gently, tracing a line of fire along your skin. You closed your eyes for a moment, fighting the wave of sensations that swept over you.

— I'm not afraid of you.— you repeated, though your voice sounded slightly weaker this time.

— Prove it. —The demand was a challenge, an invitation to cross a dangerous line.

You opened your eyes and met her gaze, and for a moment, you were lost in the darkness that emanated from it.

What did you want to prove? That you could resist her charm? Or that you were capable of yielding to temptation?

Before you could respond, Alastor leaned in and brushed your lips with his. The contact was fleeting, almost imperceptible, but it was enough to ignite a spark inside you.

You broke away abruptly, feeling the heat spread throughout your body.

— I'm not going to play your games, Alastor.

— Are you sure? —He smiled, showing his sharp teeth.— Because I think, deep down, you're dying to play.

Before you could reply, his hand slid down your neck and pulled you to him, kissing you with an intensity that took you by surprise. His lips were soft but firm, and his tongue explored your mouth with a boldness that made you shiver.

You resisted at first, determined not to give in to his control. But as the kiss deepened, you felt your defenses begin to crumble. His taste was intoxicating, a mixture of sin and danger that drew you into an unknown abyss.

His hands moved down your back, tracing every curve and contour of your body. You moaned into his mouth, unable to control your body's involuntary response.

For an instant, you forgot your anger, your fear, your distrust. There was only the desire, the need to be closer to him, to melt into his embrace and lose yourself in the darkness.

But then, reality hit you like a bucket of cold water. What were you doing? You were allowing Alastor to manipulate you, to use you as a mere tool in his power play.

With a superhuman effort, you pulled away from him, gasping for air.

— Stop — you said, your voice trembling, — I'm not going to do this.

Alastor looked at you with an indecipherable expression, his dark eyes hiding his true thoughts.

— Why not? — He asked, his tone soft in contrast to the intensity of the moment before.

A small spark of fire and frustration settled in his crimson eyes, his state was no better than yours, and yet....

You refused to answer. Instead, you pushed him aside and backed away from the door, determined to put distance between the two of you.

Instead of allowing you to escape, Alastor smiled with playful mischief. In an instant, shadowy tentacles sprouted from the floor and walls, surrounding you like a dark, throbbing prison.

You found yourself cornered, your back pressed against Alastor's chest, his warm breath brushing against your neck.

— Did you think I would let you go so easily, my dear? — he whispered in your ear, his voice charged with an intensity that made you tremble. — From the moment I saw you walk into this hotel. Something about you... something drew me like a moth to a flame.

Your words were sweet poison, a promise of ecstasy and doom. The shadowy tentacles slithered over your body with deliberate slowness, exploring every curve and nook and cranny with eerie precision. You felt a shiver run down your spine as the tips of the tentacles caressed your skin, awakening sensations you thought you had buried long ago.

— No one. — Alastor continued, his voice husky and full of possessive longing.— not even you, will take from me what is mine. You brought this on me from the first moment.

Your gasps grew louder, choppy, as the tentacles traced circles around your nipples, tightening them with each rub. An involuntary moan escaped your lips, and you felt Alastor's smile widen against your shoulder.

— Yes, my dear, that's it — he murmured, his hot breath echoing in your ear. — Surrender, just like that, my precious.

Your legs trembled, unable to support your weight as desire consumed you. The fury and fear faded, replaced by a primal need, an urge to give yourself completely to the darkness that enveloped you.

As Alastor played with you, you found yourself in a feverish state, caught between the need to resist and the overwhelming tide of pleasure. You tried to speak, to demand that he leave you alone, but the words stuck in your throat, choked by the gasps and moans that escaped your lips uncontrollably.

— Let me... please...— you managed to whisper, but your voice sounded weak and shaky, lacking conviction.

The pleasure was too intense, clouding your judgment and breaking down your defenses. Against your will, you began to move your hips, desperately seeking friction against Alastor's clothed erection. It was a silent plea, a tacit surrender to the desires that consumed you.

Alastor responded to your movement with a triumphant smile. He pulled you even tighter against him, imprisoning you between his body and shadowy tentacles.

— Fuck, you sure are a dirty cock warmer.— he whispered in your ear, his voice husky and full of desire.

His tongue slid over your neck, exploring every inch of skin with torturous slowness. A shiver of pleasure ran through your body, and you closed your eyes, abandoning yourself completely to the sensation.

— More... please, more... —you begged, your words barely audible between your gasps.

Alastor reveled in your submission, intensifying his assault. His hands slid beneath your clothing, caressing your skin with a softness that contrasted with the hardness of his erection pressed against your ass. The shadowy tentacles moved in sync, massaging your breasts and thighs with expert precision.

You writhed in his arms, moaning and sighing as pleasure swept you into an abyss of sensation.

You were no longer able to think, to resist, to fight. There was only desire, the need for more, the total surrender to the impulses that dominated you.

In the state of fervor in which you both found yourselves, Alastor slid his hands between your breasts, squeezing one of them in his path, then traveled to your waist, until he reached the coveted spot. Feeling you tense, he recognized that he was needier than ever, harder than a rock.

— Beg for me, now —he demanded, his voice turning into a guttural growl.

You only nodded, your mind clouded with desire. Alastor turned you to face him, his red eyes glowing with an almost unearthly intensity.

He began to whisper words full of obscenity, sexual nicknames that, though racy, retained the elegance and twisted charm that characterized him.

— Tell me, my naughty delight, how much do you want this, mmh? How much do you want this demon who has you trembling in his clutches? You are my "little doll", my little dear.— You looked at him lost, recognizing that you were hotter than ever in your life or death.

His closeness, his voice, his hands on your body, all contributed to a storm of sensations that threatened to consume you completely.

— Say it. — Alastor insisted, his hot breath brushing your lips.—Tell me you need me.— He growled with absolute demand.

— I need you.— you whispered, the truth escaping your lips unfiltered.

Hearing your confession, Alastor smiled with predatory satisfaction. The shadowy tentacles disappeared in an instant, replaced by his arms that wrapped tightly around you, pulling you tight against his body. The closeness was suffocating, but at the same time, strangely comforting.

The bed was very convenient at the moment, and Alastor didn't miss the opportunity.

He lifted you in his arms and carried you between sloppy kisses to the soft mattress. You fell onto the sheets, feeling the soft fabric against your skin as Alastor pounced on you, never breaking the contact of his lips with yours.

You had almost no clothes on anymore, just a rustle of fabric barely covering your nakedness. Alastor, on the other hand, was still clothed, a frustrating barrier between your desire and the consummation of the act.

Desperate, you tried to remove his jacket, but he grasped both your hands with surprising strength, pinning you under his weight.

— Be patient, my little temptress. —he said, his voice husky and full of anticipation. —There is an art in waiting, a pleasure in torture.

He kissed you more intensely, sucking on your lower lip with a possessiveness that made you moan. Then, with exasperating slowness, he began to unbutton the buttons of his shirt, revealing his chest full of marks and a fur that aroused in you an eagerness to caress.

— Do you like what you see? — he asked, with an arrogant smile.

You nodded, unable to articulate a word. Alastor took off his jacket, dropping it on the floor with disdain. Then, he unbuttoned his dress pants, releasing his erection that pulsed impatiently beneath the fabric.

With a look that promised paradise and doom, Alastor grabbed your legs with his free hand, lifting them up to place you in a vulnerable, submissive position.

He lined up his erection at your entrance, feeling the heat and wetness that awaited him.

And then, in one particularly rough lunge, he began.

A lascivious scream escaped your lips, a primal, savage sound that echoed through the room, filling it with the promise of pleasure and despair. Pain mingled with ecstasy, creating a symphony of sensations that snatched your control and plunged you into an abyss of lust.

The way Alastor began to move, without giving you a single respite, just ripped the air out of you. You moaned meaningless phrases, incoherent words that expressed the maelstrom of sensations that invaded you.

You felt Alastor deliver thrust after thrust, each one rougher and deeper than the last, pushing you to the limit of your endurance.

He, meanwhile, grunted and emitted messy static throughout the room, a distorted echo of his arousal mingling with the obscene sounds of clashing skins and your occasional moans. Every time Alastor touched that vulnerable spot in you, he made you see stars, a burst of light and pleasure that took your breath away.

—You're mine, understand? — Alastor growled through his teeth, his voice harsh and possessive. — Completely mine.

—Yes... yours, ah!... more...— you gasped, your body responding to his dominance with desperate need.

— Look my eyes. — he commanded, stopping his movements for a moment.— Tell me how much you want me.

You looked up, meeting his red eyes that burned with an almost demonic intensity. At that moment, there was nothing but Alastor and the insatiable desire that united you.

— I want you, Alastor. — you confessed, your voice trembling. — I want you more than anything in this damned hell.

Alastor smiled, a wild, triumphant expression that made you shudder. He resumed his onslaught with renewed fury, bringing you to the brink of collapse.

— I will make you cry out my name, my sweet torment. — He promised, his voice a hoarse whisper in your ear. — I'm going to make you beg for me.

With the intensity of the moment, Alastor felt you on the verge of climax, and you felt it too. The tension in both of you was about to explode, and all the while, you were screaming Alastor's name in a mess of pleading.

— Alastor! Ah, Alastor! Please, Alastor! —you cried, your voice cracking with pleasure.

Meanwhile, he was transforming back into his demonic form a little, with dark eyes and dials that stood out against his pale skin. Seeing him in that state, feeling his onslaught, you couldn't help but think out loud and exclaim in a broken voice and a moan.

— I love those eyes... like that... so beautiful... — You gasped looking at him with intensity.

Alastor paused for a second, his body tense over yours. His smile widened, revealing a row of sharp teeth.

— Damn, you are divine...—He answered with his voice full of static, which caused a slight tremor in your chest. You groaned as you listened to him and your gaze only confirmed that he looked absolutely perfect.

He then resumed his thrusts even deeper, so intense that you were now a bundle of screaming pleasure as you trembled uncontrollably. Your orgasm erupted violently, your body responding to his assault, and a silent scream formed, your hands clenching strands of his hair, trying to hold on to something as the aftershocks of climax wiped out your sanity.

And still Alastor whispered obscene words in your ear, fueling your arousal and prolonging your agony.

— You're a pervert, you know that? —he gasped, his hot breath brushing against your neck, feeling you tighten around him.— A little devil that drives me crazy.

And he was so close to cumming too.

With each thrust, the tension in his body increased until, finally, he came, cumming inside you, painting your walls with his seed.

And with two final gentle lunges, he pulled you close to him in a messy kiss, his salty, heady taste flooding your mouth.

Once he was finished inside you, he was satisfied to see his work. Your body trembled beneath his, exhausted but sated. Your eyes were glassy, your breathing agitated, and a faint expression was plastered on your face.

Alastor slowly pulled away, watching you with a possessive gaze.

You, you simply looked at him, utterly exhausted.

— Well? —Alastor's voice echoed with that peculiar mixture of amusement and latent menace, as he arched an eyebrow in your direction. His gaze remained fixed on you, expectant, insistent... and fucking annoyed.

You tried to deflect the conversation, as if ignoring his scrutiny was enough to dispel the discomfort settling in your chest. But patience wasn't exactly one of your virtues.

You took in a good amount of air, feeling the weight of his expectation build in your chest. You knew you couldn't evade the question much longer, but you didn't want to give him too many details either. After all, how would you explain everything that had happened without revealing parts of yourself that you preferred to keep hidden?

—Well... you see...—You paused fleetingly, choosing your words cautiously.— One of those guys you gutted tonight practically expected me to fuck with him. I refused and ran away, that's all.

The way you said it was deliberately brief, as if by reducing it to a couple of sentences you could downplay its importance. But you couldn't fool yourself. Least of all him.

Of course, you left out some details.

Like the fact that you had been playing with that demon for weeks, taking advantage of his inflated ego and his utter stupidity to extract as much money as possible from him. Fake smiles, sugar-coated words, veiled promises... everything in order to cajole him. In the end, the idiot thought he owned you, that he could take you whenever he wanted.

How pathetic.

Running away was the only option... well, running away after emptying his pocket one last time.

But fuck with him... that was never going to happen. Not with that disgusting piece of amorphous flesh, with his rotting breath and his raspy voice drooling orders as if you were his.

No, that privilege was exclusive to someone else.

Shit.

You shuddered at the mere thought.

Alastor, this fucking demon did manage to provoke something completely different in you. And that was dangerous.

You realized you sounded evasive, and by the way Alastor tilted his head slightly, you knew he'd noticed it too. His smile, that smile that always seemed on the verge of mockery, widened just barely, as if he was enjoying your discomfort.

— That's it, huh? — he repeated, his voice soft but with a tone that made you feel as if he was unraveling your every word. — Curious. Because, my dear, you don't sound very convinced of your own story.

— I don't know what you're talking about — you lied, averting your gaze to the window. The night was quiet, but your mind was not. — It was exactly as I told you. That's all there is to say.

— Do not worry, my little darling... —Alastor's voice slid like a shiver across your skin, vibrant, permeated with that static that seemed to seep into every corner of the air.—I will know exactly what keys to play for that answer... I will know....

Your body was still trembling, from their recent encounter. The intensity in your eyes, that bright red glint that devoured the gloom, the way your smile stretched with an almost playful malevolence....

The room spun slightly, or perhaps it was you who let yourself be swept away, caught in the hypnotic sway of her presence.

One more time.

Another round.

Your skin burned where his hands had already traced their path, and his mere nearness electrified every nerve. His laughter seeped into your ear, vibrating, accompanied by an insistent hum that entangled your thoughts in a sea of static and desire.

Of course, you weren't going to sleep through the night.

Not when he had every intention of making sure of it.

[fukashiin]

ACEYUU WOKE ME FROM THE DEAD

book 7 spoilers <3 very long rant im sorry!!

it was never meant to be this way. when he was such an ass to us in the prologue, when he laid those pesky remarks upon us and immediately assuming that we got into NRC as a janitor because we weren't good enough without any prior knowledge of how we were brought here against our will and having to adapt to such an unfamiliar environment where everything - trends, names, history, and even the currency - were different. he didn't know about the throbbing headache we had while the headmage was explaining the school's curriculum and suddenly bringing up the word "magic" into the conversation like it was foreign language.

he thinks he's above us just because we're a clueless student who couldnt cast any spells and took up the miserable job just for the sake of money and to live. he had this one-way "not my problem!!" mindset about us that he dipped the moment after because he never would have suspected that we would grow to be something more important, something more irreplaceable in his life.

he never meant to test the waters, and he's drowning by mistake.

his concern for you gets more obvious as each book advances (or was it always obvious??). you're just an otherworlder oblivious to the dangers that lurk in twisted wonderland, so it's only casual for him to fret about when you've been taken into scarabia with minimal escape routes, to be the first one to notice that you were missing among the entourage of people that have been kidnapped, to be the only one to point out that you weren't in the best condition AND suggesting to bring you back home in case the party was all too much. he knows how vulnerable you are, and he jumps into action as quick as possible because that's basically his brand. nothing deeper!!! (unknown dangers lurk around you on the daily, but you lurk in his mind so much more than he lets on. you're probably more used to the dangers of magic than he's used to the thought of you occupying his mind 24/7. isnt that ironic)

and he didn't consider the complications of how dangerous it could be for the headmage to send us back to our original world, possibly damaging the very fabrics of time and space and ceasing to exist while transporting - he just instantly goes to the part where the news was positive and that we could travel between Twisted Wonderland and earth in one piece, blocking out his surroundings just to see your smile, as that was possibly the happiest you could have ever been in front of him.

imagine each time he hangs out with someone new, or if someone has gained a romantic interest in him once you've left, he tries to find a part of "you" in them in his peripheral vision. whether they have an ounce of bravery that you had, whether they're as understanding as you are to know that he isn't just a human built of jokes and pranks, whether they won't doubt him like the rest did - as you were the only one who truly believed in his capability to truly lead the rest out of danger.

he could beg for other people to believe in him, to see that his skills could draw out much more if he really wanted to, but he didn't have to do that with you. in a flashing moment of possible failure, he turned to you in a heartbeat, uncharacteristically, desperately calling out for you to save him because he had no idea what was happening. he almost started to lose himself and quickly realises that the power he was wielding so suddenly wasn't some lousy spell, that it could possibly cause someone's life, and you were there to steady him when he needed it the most. a rarity of a scene he entrusted his entire body to you with. you believed in him. you ARE the betterment of him.

you held his hand like a vow, to protect each other and strengthen through every obstacle and turmoil that drives you one step closer to becoming a better version of yourself. your hand, tightly coiled around his, radiated the warmth and comfort he needed in his times of darkness and inner conflict.

it should've been you. you're perfect.

and that's why his dream still has you in it. it doesn't have to be one way or the other, you can simply go back and forth to his world and your own in just a snap! he could never dream of you leaving his sight and grasp, hindering him from ever telling you how much you actually meant. he has all the time in the world.

and that's what he wants, but his heart says otherwise, and that's fine. he just wants you to be safe and see him for who he is. you inspired him to take pride in his name, as an ace can do anything!!

[midnight-mourning]

The Thought That Counts

💘💘Midnight's DCA Valentine's Day 10💘💘

This one was super interesting for me as someone who's ace to sit and think about, shout out to the aroaces, this one is for you, little hurt/comfort just because that's what i was feeling

Prompt: Sun and Moon discussing with an Aroace yn why they dislike romance? Or maybe just watching some really bad romcoms on a horrible day

Word Count: 1753

Read here if you prefer ao3!

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The sound of happy love songs has started to grate on you recently, you're not going to lie. You get maybe like, a couple days worth, but all week long feels a bit, excessive. Not to mention the barrage of lovey dovey advertisements, decorations, and so on you've seen everywhere you've went.

Sure, it all wasn't intentionally done to annoy or make you uncomfortable, but sometimes it certainly felt like it. 

As you walk into the Daycare for work, you do your best to ignore it as per usual. Today would hopefully be the last day—since it was Valentine's, after all—and then you could go back to living in peace. 

Again, it wasn't necessarily a hate for the holiday, rather it was just a general discomfort. Not typically feeling, if ever at all, attraction for other people just made you feel like you were getting pressured into a game everyone else was playing. Except for you that is. 

It just wasn't your holiday, and that was fine, you just simply wished others would see it that way too. Instead of having to constantly be on edge if you said the wrong thing about not wanting the persistent reminder that you don't fit inside the box everyone else puts you in. 

It was a bummer, and it hurt quite a bit. Losing friendships and the likes in certain cases. Just because of the fact you didn't experience the world the way they did. 

But, you'd deal with it. Just like you've always done. 

If you could, that is. 

Unfortunately, your favorite coworker(s) had made it a bit difficult to keep your head down and avoid like you typically did. 

Valentine's was their favorite holiday—though, you think they said that with every holiday—and thus they had to go all out for it. 

Every inch of the Daycare was covered head to toe with decorations, streamers and paper hearts covering every surface. Instead of the Daycare theme, age appropriate love songs played through the speakers up above softly, adding to the overly love-filled atmosphere. 

For them, you were sure it was great, exactly the vision they had in mind. For you, it was just, too much. 

But the decorations and the music weren't the problem. Unfortunately, it was Sun and Moon themselves causing the 'issues' you were dealing with. 

All week long they'd been leaving little things for you to find throughout the play area. Little handmade cards with endearing notes. Paper roses folded neatly by your belongings. 

It tore you up inside, mainly because you knew what this all was leading up to, and you were almost dreading having to tell them. It wasn't that you didn't care for them. You really, truly did. A lot. So much. 

But not like that. Not at this point, that is. Sure, maybe it was possible, but at the current moment, the idea of such just made you feel, off. 

So when Sun came up to you near the middle of your shift, something hiding behind his back, you already had a guess as to what it was. 

Before he said anything, he seemed to pause, almost deflating upon getting closer to you. 

You speak first, trying to keep your tone light. "Everything alright, Sunny?"

"Of course, Sunbeam!" Still, he keeps his hands behind his back. "But, is everything alright with you?"

You nod with a smile. "Of course. I'm just a little tired is all."

"Oh... are you sure? You've seemed a bit, upset all week long. Would you... like to talk about it?"

Your brows raise, both in surprise and in fear that you'd been found out. "I, no, that's okay! It's not um, something I really want to talk about right now."

"Right. Of course." He steps back, then another, then turns around but manages to keep whatever he was holding hidden from you. "Well, enjoy your break, friend!" 

He walks off then, before you can stop him, and your heart sinks a bit. 

The rest of the day proves to be, incredibly stressful. The party for the kids goes great, but it leaves you with a terrible disaster to clean up. It sours your mood more than you expected, especially after finding the mess of glitter glue hiding underneath one of the tables, you spend nearly thirty minutes scrubbing on your hands and knees to get it cleaned up. And when you emerge you remember all the rest of the clean up you still have to do, stressing you out even further.

With a sigh and a stretch to crack your back, you trudge over to where the trash is and deposit the used paper towels into it. You turn around to get back to work, but are shocked to find Sun standing there, looking a bit cheered up compared to your last 'official' conversation earlier. 

"Hello Sunshine!" 

You smile, tired. "Hi, Sun. Need something?"

"It's not what I need, but rather, what you need, friend." He pokes your chest once, rays spinning. "I have a little surprise for you. If you'll accept." 

Your brow furrows. This seems a bit different than earlier, so you're curious. "Oh?"

"Yup! Now come on!" He takes both your hands and starts pulling you out of the Daycare, heading in the direction of the theater, you in tow. 

You don't protest physically, too tired and stressed—as you quickly realize—but do speak up about it. "Woah! What about cleanup?"

"Clean up can wait! You obviously don't feel well, and we need to fix that immediately!" Sun pushes open the theater doors with his back, leading you inside. "And Moon and I have just the thing for it."

After your eyes adjust to the lighting, you're surprised to see there's a film pulled up on the large screen, with a couple of beanbags and blankets piled near the middle of the room. There's a smell of popcorn in the air that makes your mouth water. 

Sun finally stops once you're over by the beanbags, pushing you to sit down in one, covering you with a blanket once you comply. He sets a bag of popcorn and a couple boxes of candies in your lap. When he's done he pats your head and sits down in a bean bag not too far from you. But you do note it's not his usual spot beside you, but you let it go as he claps his hands. 

His rays spin. "Ready to get started? This is just for you, but we went ahead and took the liberty of picking the first film."

"I, yeah, I guess so. Thank you guys, I uh, needed a break." You take a bite of popcorn and turn to look at the screen. "More than I expected—Is this 'Valentine's Day'?!" You almost choke from your laughter. 

"Of course! It seemed fitting, and the reviews we read were very passionate!"

You shake your head, settling in. "Passionate is the key word there, I think."

The film passes by quicker than you'd expect, chatting with Sun every so often to explain why the story makes you laugh so much, explaining what exactly a romcom is, and just in general decompressing from the day. 

They let you pick the next one—with Moon getting to be out to watch this time instead—and you choose another classic bad movie, 'Bride Wars' to keep the theme up. 

Again with Moon though, he keeps his distance from you, settling in a respectable few feet away. Which, you did appreciate in the beginning, after being overwhelmed with the amount of in your face love-dovey stuff the past several weeks. But now, you're feeling, lonely. 

About a quarter of the way into this movie, you decide to speak up, turning to your lunar companion. 

"Hey. What's going on with you guys today?" You ask, reaching a hand over to rest on his. 

Moon flinches, not making eye contact with you. "We're just, we thought, it doesn't matter. We don't want you to be uncomfortable with us, Star."

"Uncomfortable? With you?" You shake your head. "Never. I mean, yeah I was a little worried when—" You stop, realizing it's not helping as he shrinks in on himself. "I, let me explain, I guess."

Moon nods, and you sigh. 

"Romance, just, isn't my thing. Not usually, if ever. I just, I don't really get those feelings for other people. And when it gets constantly shoved down your throat, you start to realize how uncomfortable with it you actually are. Really uncomfortable. I just wanna be me and not feel like I have to be something I'm not, that I can't be." You shake your head again. "I mean, don't get me wrong, I can still feel attraction and the likes, and I, I care about you two a lot. Especially you two. But it's just, not like that? I want to be close with you, be around you all the time, I like your jokes, your teasing, talking to you, but the idea of romance, in general, just, gives me a bit of an ick sometimes, does that all make sense?" You lay back, running a hand through your hair. "I mean, I—I think I'm in love with you both, but not in the way that I have romantic feelings for you? Sorry this is a word vomit of an explanation I'm sorry—"

You feel arms wrap around you, pulling you up into a hug. 

Moon's voice is soft, just a murmur. "We're sorry."

"Moon, it's not on you—"

You can feel him shake his head against you. "Not that. We mean we're sorry you have to deal with that. It's not fair."

"Oh, yeah. I guess so."

He pulls back, hand resting on your cheek as he looks down at you. "We care about you too, a lot. It, doesn't have to be anything more than that. It's enough just to be able to say it. Does that make sense?"

"Y-yeah. It does. More than you know." You feel your face heat up, either from embarrassment or excitement at understanding. You bury your head against his chest. "And as for like, the gifts and stuff, that's still okay. They're still sweet, and they mean a lot. I promise."

Moon snickers. "Sounds like you just enjoy getting things."

"Not true! I really do like it! It's the thought that counts." You protest, now fully embarrassed. 

Moon hugs you a little tighter, humming. "I suppose it is."

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Thank you for the request @starspindle! It was interesting to tackle in that through writing I learned a bit about myself and my own indentity, plus i just enjoy writing hurt/comfort hehe ^^

My writing Masterpost

DCA Valentine's Masterpost

Tag list (if you would like added, simply say so!):

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[tyrantisterror]

Wife Goals: Edelgard von Hresvelg

Alright gang, after covering Morrigan from Dragon Age Origins last time, it's time for another RPG gal here on Wife Goals, the emotional breakdown masquerading as a series of personal essays that I swear won't go more than seven entries! I swear! It's going to be video game ladies from here on out actually, both because the interactive nature of that medium makes it REALLY easy to form these unhealthy parasocial attachments to fictional ladies, AND because it's the most socially acceptable way to project your desire for romance on made up people! Huzzah for video games! Huzzah!

I don't remember exactly why, but I was in a bad headspace when Fire Emblem: Three Houses came out. It was probably just the normal "why have I accomplished so little in my life why am I still alone oh god I've wasted my time on earth" thing that's always gnawing at my brain, IDK. What I know is that the void inside me was GNAWING and I needed to fill it, preferably with something new, because replaying my age-old favorite RPGs, while soothing, would also feel... sad. You gotta try new things to trick yourself into thinking you're going somewhere, you know?

I had played Fire Emblem Awakening, and it was pretty good! Pretty fun, it had an evil witch in it who was romanceable, and that was fun. I didn't finish it, but I sunk a good few hours into it. I had also played Fire Emblem Fates and.... I shouldn't have! It's bad! It's basically Incest: The Game! Don't play it! So, you know, I didn't exactly have full confidence in Fire Emblem: Three Houses when I picked it up, but the gnawing void needed some new content, and if it was as good as Awakening, or just less incest-y than Fates, it'd scratch the itch for a bit.

Guys... Three Houses is so much better than Awakening. My void was eating GOOD that summer.

The conceit of Fire Emblem: Three Houses is that there are three nations who send their most promising young people (i.e. mostly the rich kids) to an academy located in the monastery of the Fantasy Vatican - by that I mean it's owned by the leaders of the church that forms the primary religion in all three nations. Each nation has its own "house" in the academy - fraternities, basically - and your Player character is a mercenary who's been more or less forced to be a long term substitute teacher for said fraternities despite being about the same age as the students. You're the honor student who's forced to play teacher by a struggling school district, basically, only if said honor student was hired because of their experience in killing bandits.

Which house you choose matters immensely, as the OTHER conceit of the game is that all those friendly college-aged students of yours are destined to inherit important political roles in a war that is beginning to brew, and when that war breaks out, you and your students are going to be seeing one nation's perspective in the three-way conflict that ensues. Those perspectives, or routes as they're officially called, differ DRASTICALLY, in part because the leaders among the three groups of students you have to choose from have vastly different goals they're trying to achieve. And one of those students is Edelgard von Hresvelg, heir to the Adrestian Empire.

The first thing you need to know about Edelgard is that she is heavily villain-coded, both in general and in the Fire Emblem franchise specifically. Fire Emblem is a franchise with so many entries that it has its own recurring tropes. There are specifically archetypes that recur a lot, and one of the most common is The Big Villainous Tyrant Wearing Red. They often lead a big, villainous empire that's trying to take over the world, as you do. And Edelgard's nation... has red on their banners. Edelgard's customized school uniform includes a red cape and red tights. And the title she stands to inherit is Emperor - i.e. a title that you specifically get by owning more than one nation, and it's stated that the Adrestian Empire used to own ALL of the continent before it was fractured to its current state, which is exactly the sort of setup that led past Fire Emblem villains to start world-conquering.

She is going to grow up into an empress in red. She's the Big Bad. Maybe not right now, but if you know the genre, and specifically the Fire Emblem tropes, you KNOW she's inevitably going to be the villain. Or at least a villain - often the Big Villainous Tyrant in Red is, in normal trope terms, The Heavy, i.e. the villain you fight the most, but not the FINAL villain. The Darth Vader, if you will, with a Palpatine who reveals himself towards the end.

This is why Edelgard's route is the only route that bifurcates - there is a crucial moment, the moment right before Edelgard proves she is very much the Fire Emblem trope you'd think she is, where you have to choose whether to stand with her or not. You can choose to side against her, and if you choose to do that, or to do either of the other two routes, then Edelgard is exactly the villain you think she is, and as such, you have to kill her before the game is done. And that's all she is - another Evil Tyrant in Red, an emperor to be slain, a villain through and through.

...but this is a game about different perspectives on a war, and wars are never black and white. They're messy, and the game is very good about showing that while most of the people in this conflict have good intentions, NONE of them have all of the facts, and none of them made completely perfect choices, in part because there were very few perfect choices to make.

We get to know Edelgard very well before the crisis moment in her route. As you'd expect of a royal heir, she has a lot of weight on her shoulders from the responsibilities that leadership will bring. But she also has weight from a lot of unexpected sources as well. She's tight-lipped at first, but it becomes clear that this young woman has some horrific trauma in her past - she keeps waking up with night terrors about rats trying to eat her, night terrors that you find out are suppressed memories.

Edelgard, it turns out, is not just a royal, but also the subject of the fantasy equivalent of horrible genetic experimentation. So were all of her brothers and sisters - the only difference is that Edelgard is the only one who survived. She spent her childhood being tortured physically and psychologically to make her stronger, all while watching the same things happen to her siblings until they died one by one. Her night terrors about rats come from the time she spent in dungeons with her dying siblings.

See, the magical fantasy world of this game has a society that buys into what is essentially fantasy eugenics - noble houses are marked as such because they bear "crests," i.e. magic powers that make them stronger and more durable than normal people, which can be passed down through familial lines. Crests are said to be gifts from the gods that the Church is devoted to, so the Church explicitly supports and provides propaganda for this eugenics-based hierarchy of nobility.

Everything Edelgard suffered as a child was because of a scheme endorsed by some nobles to put two crests in one person's body - a scheme to make an ubermensch through eugenics. If it weren't for the crest system and this idea of noble, divinely ordained bloodlines, Edelgard would not have had such a horrendous childhood.

So, rather than make a girl who embodies the ideal of this system, the people who experimented on Edelgard ensured that she knew one thing was true above all else: the crest system, and everything that supports it, needs to be burnt to the fucking ground. And hey, what do you know, she now has superpowers AND is the heir to a fucking empire. With some clever scheming, she could turn the tables on the people who planned to make her a pawn, destroy the entire hierarchy of the continent, and remake society into a place where bloodlines don't matter. It'd take a lot of work and ruthlessness, but it was possible. She could make a world where no one would suffer like her again.

And, like, she's not the only one suffering! In her house alone, you have students like Bernadetta, who has become an agoraphoric wreck as a result of her father trying to force her to marry men she doesn't know to secure their bloodline's place in the hierarchy, and Dorothea, who is a commoner that had to scrape and strive just to get to this monastery in hopes of marrying into a family that will let her live without the specter of poverty hanging over her. In the other houses you have characters like Marianne, whose family's crest is said to be cursed and feels she deserves to die because of it, or Lysithea, the youngest student at the monastery who knows she's going to die in a few years because she suffered the same experiments as Edelgard did, or Mercedes, whose father was so desperate to continue his crest's bloodline that he, uh... tried to do a Fire Emblem: Fates on her. The crest system sucks, nobility sucks, the Church created and enforced all of these systems so it sucks, ALL of this shit needs to be BURNT TO THE FUCKING GROUND!

So think about that big choice in this route again. You can look at what the tropes tell you - that Edelgard is a villain, that she is starting a war that will cost hundreds of lives, and that it would be perfectly morally defensible to stand against her. If you make that choice - that very genre savvy choice - you will become the champion of the Church, literally the organization that stands for the Status Quo above all else, crush Edelgard's rebellion, and forever brand her as the villain she so definitely is.

...OR

You can see her point, and stand with the woman you took as your pupil. You can make the choice to allow yourself to be branded a villain by history if it means fighting for the possibility of a better world - and that very well could happen, because one of the secrets of this game is that you're villain-coded too. The default player character name is Byleth, after all - and that's not just any name, it's one of the fucking arch demons in the Lesser Key of fucking Solomon! You're a mercenary dressed all in black with the name of a fucking demon who just spent half the game tutoring a Tyrant in Red. If Edelgard fails, it will not be hard for history to smear your name alongside hers!

But you can be brave and do it anyways. You can say fuck it, let me be the villain, because this system needs to burn.

Edelgard makes some horrendous and evil choices in the other routes, but one of the great things about this game is that playing all the different sides allows you to make sense of the actions of other characters, and that's SO important to Edelgard's route. You are, in many ways, the crucial component Edelgard's plan needs for success. She has, until meeting you, been more or less on her own - I mean, yes, she has Hubert, her loyal minion who acts and dresses like a Dracula, but Hubert's flaw is that he is slavishly loyal, to the point that he is unwilling to tell Edelgard she's wrong. You, however, are an ally that does not treat Edelgard as a superior, but as an equal - you provide her counsel that's willing to contradict her, and as such provide insight that allows he to find better solutions to problems.

With you on her side, Edelgard never gets so desperate as to take the more drastic and cruel choices she does in the other routes. She's able to stick to her ideals without risking survival, she's able to be her best self, to offer mercy and reduce casualties as much as possible.

And it's not a one-way relationship, either. Byleth, your player character, was also a sufferer of magical genetic experimentation - Rhea, the head of the Church, basically tried to make her dead mother (who's also the main god of the church, it's a whole thing) reincarnate by implanting her crest stone into Byleth as a baby, an act that killed Byleth's mother in childbirth and resulted in Byleth always feeling half-dead as a person. In the other routes, Byleth ascends into a sort of demigod, absorbing those godly energies but never fully manifesting as the old goddess reborn.

But in Edelgard's route? You kill Rhea, and in doing so, that crest stone in your body vanishes, and your heart beats for the first time in your life. Protecting the status quo makes you a demigod - but burning it down let's you finally be yourself. Your mortal, human, living self, with a heart that's you're own, not something someone forced into you.

Edelgard does not remain emperor long when she wins - she keeps the throne long enough to put all her reforms in motion and make sure anyone who'd bring the old crest system back is dead as dirt, then appoints a successor and retires. She lives a normal life, with you if you choose to romance her, content to have made sure that the horrors she and others witnessed under that hierarchy never happen again. That was her goal, her big villainous scheme.

I don't know about you, but I think that's fucking rare in fiction - to have character look at the systems in place, think, "this shit needs to burn," and, in at least one version of the tale, be 100% right on the fucking money. God, I love her so much.

(Also, if you need additional convincing: Rhea, the leader of the church and basically Edelgard's archenemy, is a green-haired milf with a dumptruck ass who turns into a dragon, and I still chose Edelgard over her. Do you know how hard that is for me, specifically? She's got an enormous butt and turns into a dragon and I still said "No thanks, it's the albino for me!" instead. That's how much Edelgard fucking rules!)

[sirius-blacks-eyeliner]

Hi! How about some George Weasley (post Wizard War) finally takes the courage to ask reader out (she would be some sort of assistant to one of the Professors from Hogwarts). Don't know if her house is relevant but she's a former Hufflepuff. Thanks!

My heart blooms

A/N: Hi love! I hope this is what you expected from me! As a fellow Hufflepuff I absolutely love this.

(Fred and George call you Petal to reference to you being a Hufflepuff and Sprouts assistant)

A little short, but I hope you still like it!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Although windows were broken, tables splintered and rubble filled the entire place, the great hall was lighter than it had been a few hours ago, when The Chosen One fought against Lord Voldemort himself.

Friends were lost, families were torn apart, and hearts were shattered to pieces. Many were broken, but the world was now on a path to start healing itself.

The Weasleys all sat huddled together. They had come so close to losing their son and brother, Fred, but you and Professor Sprout had managed to pull him back with your magic potions just in time.

Ginny Weasley sat underneath her older brother's arm, with her back to you, holding him tight around his waist, as if he would fall through the pale vale of death if she let go. George Weasley, one of your best friends and Fred's twin, sat on his other side. They spoke in soft voices, occasionally having to stifle laughter, trying to prevent waking a dozing Ginny.

Hermione Granger and Harry Potter sat close by the Weasleys, chatting happily with their youngest son Ron. Harry seemed so much lighter, his face glowing with the weight that was now off his back. He could finally rest, not having to worry about the looming threat that hung over him and his loved ones. He often glanced lovingly towards Ginny, as if unable to believe she was sitting across from him, within arms reach.

Then, as you approached, muddy shoes thudding softly against the ground, the twins turned towards you, in sync as always.

"Hello, Petal." Fred grinned while trying to move the least he could because of Ginny, who was well asleep already.

"Hi, boys," You grinned while stepping closer, "How're you feeling, Fred?"

"Well, you saved me, so couldn't be better." Fred fondly smiled.

"Hey, Petal, could we maybe speak for a minute?" George suddenly asked. His freckled cheeks and ears flushed a soft shade of red as he fiddled with his hands.

"You're gonna...?" Fred mysteriously asked, wiggling his eyebrows not so mysteriously.

"Shut up, Fred." George rolled his eyes while rising from his seat.

"Can we-?" He gestured towards a quieter corner in the great hall.

"Of course, Georgie." You grinned and let him lead you by the hand towards the other side. Behind you you could hear Bill Weasley let out a suggestive whistle followed by a scolding by both Molly and Fleur Weasley.

"What did you want to ask, Georgie?" You curiously asked as he stood before you, his chest close to yours.

"Thank you, Petal. You saved my brother. If it hadn't been for you he would've been dead." said George, unexpectedly engulfing you in a tight hug. His arms wrapped around your shoulders, his fingers flexing there as yours wrapped around his waist, pulling him as close as possible to you.

"I love you, Flower Petal. I've loved you for years ever since I saw you on the train at the beginning of fourth year. I have always been too scared to say anything, I didn't want to ruin our friendship. I was afraid that when you rejected me that we would seize being friends, but seeing how close Fred was to dying and how you saved him so effortlessly. Petal, I don't think I could ever even think of attempting to love someone else. This is it. You are it for me. You make my heart bloom like those amazing plants you love and care for. I have realized it long ago, but today it dawned to me. I love you."

He stared deeply into your eyes, barely pulling away to do so, even if he towered over you. His arms were still holding you locked in, unable to move even though you never wanted to.

"Oh, George," you whispered softly, "you have no idea how long I have waited for you to tell me that. I love you, too, I-"

But before you could finish the sentence, George had already pressed his lips down on yours, slow, soft and tentative.

His hand slid up to your cheek, caressing his thumb on your collarbone. His lips were so soft, like no one you had ever kissed before. His other hands busied itself on your waist, squeezing softly when he noticed you reciprocating eagerly.

You pulled him closer towards you, now standing chest-to-chest with no air between you. You felt his tongue slide over your bottom lip carefully, silently asking permission to enter.

You pulled back slightly, lips still ghosting over each other. When you spoke you could feel his lips bump into yours.

"You not even gonna let me finish my sentence?"

"Kissing you seemed funner."

[peacekeeperangel]

The Cards! The Cards! a CRK anaylsis

Alright! Thanks to RoyalMike on Youtube I got the scene I wanted in regards to the Tarot cards used! Let's much on some Worldbuilding! Also keep in mind I am not into Tarot and am purely going into this for the writing being pulled off by Devsis. If I misinterpret things this is a Blind woman not even being led, I'm just stumbling along here. ***WARNING FOR SPOILERS FOR CRK BEAST-YEAST CHAPTER 8! PROCEED AT YOUR OWN RISK*****

Okay let's start with Pure Vanilla- Excuse me- The Truthless Recluse's Card Draw

Oookay if I'm reading this right, that's the Hanged Man- Woman in this case, (poor Strawberry Cookie) and then The Fool and The Hermit in Reverse EDIT: Wizard could also be The Magician, which would make sense so I'm going to include this interpresation just to be thorough. The Hermit Reverse: You've withdrawn from your loved ones in a harmful way OR The Magician Reverse: Confusion, Deceit, Ill intentions The Fool Reverse: Recklessness and a new beginning that borders on irrational. The Hanged (Wo)man: Discernment, Trials, Sacrifice. Huh. Surprisingly straightforward. Pure Vanilla has withdrawn from the Kids to his detriment and is currently playing games with a sciopathic ancient demi-god. Sounds pretty reckless to me! and the trials he goes through in this chapter leads to his Eventuala Ascention. Okay so let's move onto the other Cards the ones Shadow Milk drew for himself.

I'm pretty sure these are The Devil, Death and The Angel. All upward facing so that makes my job easier. Let's see. EDIT: Once again there's also a potential that the Angel could also be Judgement, so again adding this in for thoroughness. The Devil: Temptation no surprise there.... Hm. This is interesting. Living in Fear and Bondage? For being such a Jolly cookie having this interpretation is VERY interesting. It could be referring to his time being a Sealed Evil in a Can but it leads me to wonder. Death: The end of a relationship and the end of an unfulling career. For men specifically it can also mean the loss of a benefactor. The Angel: guidance with greater awareness and peace of mind, encouraging personal growth. OR Judgement: New Beginnings. I think the most interesting things we can interpret here is is that Shadow Milk Cookie might not be as happy as he appears being the Beast of Deceit. I complained a little awhile ago that I rather not the beasts or specifically Shadow Milk Cookie not go through a redemption arc but is it possibly written in the cards? Either way Shadow Milk Cookie didn't seem too keen on it since he immediately changed his cards (with this minions' help) to this:

I'm pretty sure that that's The Wheel of Fortune, The Emperor, and The Empress The Wheel: A change in Status The Emperor: Stability in life The Empress: Creation This sounds like another lie, only this time it's for Shadow Milk himself. - From Prisoner to Lord of a Tower, everything's going to be ok and good and make new things happen? the Emperor and Emrpess together also calls for collaboration, like maybe getting Pure Vanilla into the whole Evil Rule the world Muwahaha-thing. It turned out to be a lot more straightforward than I thought, but Shadow Milk Cookie's Tarot Reading is going to have the Fanfiction author's slavering I'm sure. Especially with the fact I note, the other Beasts at this point in time haven't said a word about each other but Shadow Milk referred to them all as Friends. If that were the case why haven't they tried to re-connect like the Ancients did?

That Devil card is going to leave me wondering for a good long while...

[brokenpieces-72]

Hi, I hope you’re having a good day, I’m up at like midnight trying to sleep but I had an idea that I just had to submit. What if while the team is working on a trafficking sting in Australia they stumble upon a Tasmanian tiger hybrid who is among the last of their kind. as an Australian I have loved this species since I first found out about it and thought it would make a great tragic story ❤️.

Okay, so I looked up what these creatures look like, and then read further about them later on, and learned they are extinct. This made it a bit of a challenge but a welcome one. I also genuinely could not think of a good name for the reader, even a nickname, so if there is some placeholder spots that's why.

Taz

CoD Hybrid AU | Navigation

CW: Mentions of trafficking, mentions of possible life risks, let me know if I missed anything.

At first you felt yourself drifiting to unconsciousness, your body sore and starting to give out. Then there was a soft voice, and a strange shape outside your kennel. Everything faded into darkness, as you thought you were leaving the mortal world. Something went over your face and the soft voice continued to speak to you. It reassured you everything would be okay, and that you were going to get help.

Then you started to hear beeping. Soft and steady. You didn't feel panicked when you opened your eyes, despite the tubes that were connected to your body. In fact you didn't notice the tubes, until you moved your arms. A sedative no doubt. Maybe you'd already been sold, and they were worried about keeping you alive. At the moment your vision was still dark, there was a blindfold over your eyes, likely to keep you from overstressing. A door opened, making your ears twitch towards the sound.

"Hello?" The soft voice from before spoke before closing the door. "Can you hear me? You can just lift your hand or move a little."

You lifted your hand, your throat dry from a lack of water. "My name is Spirit. I'm here to help you. Your eyes are covered to reduce your stress, along with a sedative to keep your heart rate steady. You're being given some medicine as well. Would you like some water?"

You lifted your hand. Spirit warned you she was going to touch you, and gave you some water with a straw. She went on to explain that you would be in bed for a while, and the blindfold would remain until they can assure your stress levels are low enough. If you need anything, don't hesitate to call out, you have a room to yourself and Spirit would ensure someone came that could be trusted. For now, you should rest for a bit.

"Th-Thank you." You croaked. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what?" Spirit asked.

"Not a...very good product." You said. Spirit stood there for a moment, silent.

"May I hold your hand?" Spirit asked. You nodded, with some hesitation. Not the first time someone asked that, and the result wasn't pleasant. Small calloused hands held your palm, rubbing it gently over the bandages. "You're not a product, no one bought you. My team and I rescued you from your situation. No one will be purchasing you. Once you recover, we'll do everything we can to send you to a good home."

You took a moment, before the tears started to fall. You whimpered, and Spirit's soft hand went to your cheek. Spirit could feel you shaking, despite the sedatives in your body. "You're safe here. I promise."

After some more water and some food fed to you, Spirit made sure you were taken care of for the rest of the night. She went the extra effort to tuck you in, and talk to you a little bit. If you had any questions, she was happy to answer. Once you were more comfortable, Spirit made sure you had everything you needed before saying good night, and leaving you alone. The room was a little cold, but the blanket felt warmer than before. It felt too good to be true. Free. You were free.

Spirit took you on walks once you felt comfortable to walk around. The blindfold stayed on for a while, Spirit leading you to the washroom, taking the role of your caregiver. Some times it was another person, but they were very careful with making you feel safe and preventing you from being overwhelmed. One day you asked Spirit if you could try walking around, wanting to know more about where you were. Spirit made sure you wore shoes, and some pants. The last thing Spirit wanted was for you to walk around in a hospital gown, feeling exposed. You needed a little help with your tail, but that was it.

One foot in front of the other as you walked around, Spirit being very patient with your progress. As you went, people passed, and were pointed out to you. Then there was a shout and you yelped, tensing up. You were off the sedative, so Spirit spoke to you clearly and clamly. Alarm bells were going off in your head, as your heart rate went up. You were grounded quickly, held on to, firmly but not painfully. Spirit readjusted herself, and sat next to you, holding you close, while you clung to her. A hand went to your hair and ears, stroking them gently.

"Sergeant, could you grab Soap for me, remind him to be quiet." Spirit said. You heard footsteps leave and then some come back, along with a scottish accent.

"What appened?" He asked. If you could see the death stare, Spirit gave her older brother, you would think her eyes were silver. Soap realized what he'd done right away. In his defence he didn't realize you'd left the room with her. He apologized and asked what he could do to help.

"I-I... I'm fine now I think." You said. You wanted to keep going, try to push through the attack.

"Are you sure?" Spirit asked. You nodded.

"Wanna 'and?" Soap offered. You sniffed the air, trying to figure out what he was. A wolf maybe? Smelled like it. You cautiously held your hand out and felt much bigger, and rougher hands than Spirit's.

"Thank you." You said. Spirit took your other arm, and you said bye to Soap while Spirit let you keep walking.

For a few minutes everything was fine, until you turned a corner. You were still fine, but you heard Spirit raise her voice a bit. "Horangi, don't even think about it."

You heard a different language and a very odd scent. Certainly not a normal animal. Was that brimstone as well? Spirit assured you she would introduce you to her team if you wanted to meet them. For now she wanted your faculties back and for you to feel safe, so stress wouldn't over take you.

The blindfold came off, and the lights were low. You could still make out the sergeant with rabbit ears and antlers. It didn't take much to know who Spirit was, as she'd spent plenty of time with you. You were her top priority along with the other rescued creatures.

Soap was friendly with you right off the bat. You were a new scent to him as well. He wasn't entirely sure what you were at first, but if his sister could trust you then he was willing. Soap came to visit you on occasion in your room, keeping you company. When the fullmoon comes around though, he is sure to avoid you like the plague. Spirit let's you watch the shift happen from a safe place, with the rest of the team providing a distraction for the wolf. You want to rebuild your confidence, and exposure to experiences was what you wanted to do.

You met others as well. Spirit figured it couldn't hurt for you to interact with other hybrids. Rudy meets you next, and as always the cadejos are a welcome treat. Sometimes the white one will pop half of it's body in first before Rodolfo steps inside. Once you tried throwing something to the dog while it was halfway through the door, and it caught it, coming over to you so you could toss it again. Rudy just stood outside your door, letting you enjoy your little session with the cadejo.

Ghost avoids you like the plague. You're a rare creature, he hasn't seen a hybrid or animal like you before, so he isn't about to take the risk of stressing you out to the point your heart gives out. Not the most comforting sort anyways. However he still has to pass your room from time to time, so you get a whiff of him. It's an odd scent, but when you encounter him face to face you know who it is. Admittedly, when Ghost sees you, it's like finding a hurt puppy. You had been through it no doubt, and if you need to talk to someone, he can take the rough shit you don't like bringing up.

Kyle is surprisingly one of the best people to be around. When you were still blindfolded, he didn't mind leading you around base. His feathers are great when you need a sensory for your hands. Sometimes you think it's annoying for him. No it's not, but if you want you can prune him a bit. Actually it becomes an activity that helps you focus, and Gaz gets some comfort out of it. If you ever need some comfort outside your room, his wings actually make for a great cover when your breathing gets difficult. No you're not holding him up. His superiors are understanding with these sort of things.

Alejandro asked what hybrid you were right off the bat, and honestly you weren't entirely sure yourself. Some people said you were a tiger, others said you were a dog. Alejandro offers to let you test out what you can do, but if you ever need to stop, he won't push. Yeah, that sounds kind of nice. You could use some exercise, and Alejandro is pretty good coach. Gentle but pushes you. One more. You can do one more. If you do one more, he'll piggyback you inside. Done, awesome, you hungry? Alright, he'll carry you there.

Now usually Simon was the one to take an interest in newcomers at a distance. Price however, he is curious about you. Your scent is uncommon, really uncommon. It can't be easy with some of the looks you were getting. That being said, he's a big dragon. Approaching you slowly and carefully was the safest. On occasion you would step outside where he was, and observe whatever was going on outside. Price has a habit and instinct where his wing covers members of his pack, usually during sleep. In this case, he makes sure you have some shade or an umbrella. One such time, it started to rain, and wing went over you. You held out your hand to let it fall on you. It had been a while since you'd felt the rain or even seen it. Price noticed your curiosity and let you step out from under his wing, seeing your curiousity turn into joy.

"I hate both the British government and the Tasmanian government." Spirit said.

"Wanna expand on that Spirit?" Kyle asked, a brow raised.

"I found out what Y/N is." Spirit said.

"Golden retriever?" Soap guessed.

"I guessed greyhound." Rudy added.

"They're not a dog, not exactly." Spirit said sighing. "They're a tasmanian tiger."

The room was a little quiet. Price sighed, knowing this made it harder. The animal itself was extinct for about 50 or so years. Hybrids were even more rare and for all the wrong reasons. No wonder you'd been priced so high. You could very well be the only one left. The rest of the team was a less aware, but Price's reaction was enough to tell them it was bad.

"What does this have to do with the British?" Kyle asked.

"Tasmanian tigers and wolves are extinct, and largely due to the Tasmanian government putting out government-backed bounties, and the British colonizing didn't make that any better." Spirit explained. "At first I thought it was just the animals, but when I contacted some organizations, more than a couple asked whether we wanted to be paid or pay them upon delivering Y/N to them."

"They hunted hybrids?" Soap asked. Yeah, he'd heard of werewolves getting hunted, but shit like that didn't happen as often anymore. It was much more rare to hear about. To hear the government was still offering bounties made him sick. Made all of them sick. Hell you were just a kid, what could you honestly do?

"It's going to take much longer for me to find them a placement, one that I know will be safe." Spirit said.

"Mija, I hate to be that person, but remember that you can't guarentee a perfect placement for them. These are rare circumstances, it won't be easy." Alejandro spoke up. Spirit was aware of that, but it wouldn't stop her from asking around. It could mean sending you to a program, but she could live with that. That was the last resort though. Spirit turned her attention to the captain.

"I'm going to contact Laswell, see what she can find on any possible families or other organizations that could take in someone like Y/N." Spirit reported. Price gave her a nod, accepting her next course of action.

Now you were faced with boredom. You were able to get your hands on some books, which you devoured quickly. There wasn't much else to do on the base. Part of your routine was answering questions. Spirit or Laswell would ask them but it was rare even then. You would ask around for something to do, and even spend time with the other rescues. They seemed happy to get to go home soon, while some were a little nervous to go a program. You were given their contact info, so you could maintain your friendships. Even saw them off as they left the base.

The 141, Los Vacqueros and the members from Kortac didn't mind spending time with you, but they weren't always available. The Kortac members were easier to interact with, as they didn't have the same work as the others.

Horangi decides to show you how to gamble, under the radar. Well he tried but Spirit didn't find your lessons appropriate. Card games are fine, but betting snacks instead of chips was preferred. He can teach you other games as well. Some games you can play by yourself if he isn't around to teach you. Usually Horangi wouldn't bother with you, it's not part of his job. Playing some games to keep you entertained you could at least entertain him too. The best part is he finds playing games with you is a great time killer, and you're good at them as well.

Konig likes you. Usually, he's indifferent, not wanting to get attached but you're an exception. His large size has kept some people at bay, quieting others when things get too loud, and he can run you through the five senses during anxiety attacks. He's also the brimstone smell you caught when you were blindfolded. When you go outside of the base, exploring the area around, König gives you privacy if you need it. Your scent is distinct, so he can find you easily if it's time to head back. Also, he plays with your ears, which is very comforting.

You taught yourself to hunt, with Soap encouraging you to do so. In his eyes you're still a canine, and learning to hunt is something you should know or at least understand at your age. Thing is, while you would catch mice while in captivity, you often let them go. They still fed you, so hunting wasn't necessary. Soap tried to show you how to hunt like a wolf, but you're not exactly a wolf. You don't have the same speed as him but can sniff out prey easily enough, so Soap switches his teaching strategy to tracking.

Alejandro gets involved, understanding that a hybrid like you would often hunt in pairs. Once they marked a critter they released it, letting you chase after it. The two men stood back watching you... well they gave you credit for your determination. You kept chasing and diving for the fake animal, even going face first with your jaws. Okay, admittedly, they didn't know you could open your mouth that wide. Eventually, one nose dive left you on the ground, and you just lay there. Yeah you're okay, just tired and frustrated. Alejandro came over to sit with you, seeing how messy your face, hair and arms had gotten. You spat out dirt. More than once.

"We can take a break." He offered. He saw you keeping quiet, watching the critter take cover in a number of places.

"I'm stupid." You said, hugging your knees. Alejandro sighed, putting a hand on your shoulder.

"No, you're not." Alejandro told you. "You're not used to hunting, and we don't have proper teachers for you."

The colonel noticed you seemed more disappointed in yourself. Your face was a wreck, honestly. Scratches and a couple bruises. "Be proud of yourself. Not everyone dives head first into these things. Literally. It will take time to learn. Okay?"

You nodded, and got a hand up. You would find a way to catch the critter. One way or another. But yeah you were hungry, and probably needed some wounds cleaned. Maybe a shower.

When you returned, Spirit and Price were waiting. Spirit was trying not to look worried, while Price was confused how you got filthy while the colonel and sergeant seemed untouched. As soon as hunting practice is brought up, the two were understanding. Price offered to take you to get fixed and cleaned up. He too, told you to take pride in your bold approach. But to be careful, going face first.

Price took over your training. He watched as you scrambled for the critter, diving for it, and trying to grab at it. Still no luck. Price called you over after the fifth failed attempt, where you nearly broke your nose.

"If you keep chasing it in circles you'll wind up dizzy." He told you. "You need to rethink your plan of attack."

"I have one but it won't work." You told him.

"Why's that?" He asked.

"If I could chase it through the terrain, I think I might know a way to corner it." You told him. Price was intrigued. You'd gone from chasing your tail to suddenly having a strategy. A basic one, but he might be able to work something out to let you think it over more. Price invites you back inside, showing you a map of the surrounding area. In the end you had a good ambush strategy you could pull off with Alejandro.

Price is impressed and expresses as much. Your beaming makes his praise all the sweeter.

When you try again, Alejandro is open to your suggestion, and you're successful, cornering the target and capturing it. Alejandro came over and told you how brilliant you were. After that, you found yourself interested in strategy, intrigued by battles with creative tactics, and losses that could have been won through other means. Price was finding himself asking for your input on a few missions, and letting you look over some reports he was working on.

On one occasion you fell asleep looking at one, sitting slouched in a chair, with your legs tucked up. Price noticed maybe an hour into your nap. Seeing you sleeping there, made him feel old. It also reminded him that someone probably felt the same way. Spirit was still at work, finding a placement for you, one that was safe and thorough, even looking for your parents. Price was wondering, while looking at how peaceful you were, if he could let you go so easily.

Price was watching you learn how to fight, Alejandro dragging Horangi into his training sessions again. Both of them checked in to make sure you didn't freak out or get overwhelmed while they taught you maneuvers. Kyle came up beside him and looked at Price who seemed to be focused on you. Kyle could see why, as to whether he thought it was a good idea, that was in the air.

"I haven't seen you this focused on sparring practice in a while." Kyle commented. Price's focus was finally taken off of you for a moment.

"They're good." Price said shrugging. Just good? Kyle had seen you, you'd gone from a shivering puppy to a confident fighter. The dragon hybrid was looking at you, like you could be a new addition to his hoard. Which made Kyle a little concerned. You could be a valuable addition to the team sure, but the problem was, too much stress could kill you, literally. It was part of the reason Spirit kept you blindfolded until you felt comfortable.

Kyle was getting attached as well. You got excited when he dive bombed targets during your strategies. Seeing how pleased you were when your plans were successful, even just in practice put a smile on his face. You had two tails when you got engrossed in a book. Kyle could sit and listen to you point out all the flaws in an attack plan in your books for hours. You were constantly pushing yourself to be better, and like Price, Kyle had found you passed out with your novels and guides more than once.

Kyle was pulled out of his thoughts when he heard a hard thud, and you apologizing over and over. You'd gotten Horangi on his back who was snickering at your frantic state. There was still plenty for you to learn as Kyle found himself smiling again.

One night, everyone was staying inside, no going out. Above you heard the rain coming down hard. Really hard. Really really- was that rain or hail? Your ears flattened as you felt yourself getting nervous. It was just the weather. Just the weather. The base would protect you. You were safe. Safe.

Thunder crashed above and your cried out. Your hands went over your years, your body tucked up into a ball, and you squeezed your eyes shut. Deep breaths, you needed to take deep breaths. It was loud above you as hail continued to pound against the roof. Your heart was pounding in your chest, threatening to break out of it.

Suddenly, a warm blanket was draped over you, and a large weight joined you on the bed. Your eyes slowly opened, as the blanket was pulled off your head, and wrapped tightly around you. When you looked up, you saw Kyle looking down at you, concern on his face. There waas a flash and you looked around the room, waiting for the thunder, tensing up again. Large hands covered yours, muffling the noise even more, and Kyle sat behind you.

"Pretty loud aye?" Kyle asked, though you could barely hear him. You nodded, whimpering. "You're safe. It can't hurt you here."

Kyle moved in a little closer and pulled you to his chest, while he rested against the wall. He was really warm, and it was really comforting. Safe. You were safe with him. His wings wrapped around you partially. Your heartbeat was settling to a steady beat, as you rested your head on his chest. You didn't know harpy hearts sounded like that. It was calm, soft, and soothing.

Kyle smiled down at you, seeing you were being lulled to sleep. You were nuzzling into his hoodie. The tactical tasmanian tiger, scared of hail and thunder. Yeah he didn't like hail and thunder either. Made flying difficult. Kyle pulled the blanket over you, letting sleep take over. The others were helping the rest of the rescued kids, he had nowhere to be.

While he looked at your sleeping face, he let the hail above drown out his words, thinking out loud. "I think Price wants to adopt you. I want him to as well. This isn't the right place for you though, too much pressure, too much stress. Knowing him though... he'll find a way to make it work. You're special, really special. No matter what we're here for you."

Price was watching the scene from the door way, with Kyle. How could he let you go now?

You were the last rescue, still awaiting a placement. In the mean time, the team made you feel at home. They had you helping with tasks on base, and taking part in training. You sparred with most of them by now, and tested strategies with all of them. You were spending more and more time with Kyle and Price. One of them would often sit in with you while Spirit gave you check-ups and told you how her search for a safe program was going. Spirit wasn't about to force you into a place you didn't want but she had limited time.

The last few times, Price would stay behind to chat with Spirit. You didn't know what about, but that was okay. You could find Kyle for some target practice or tag. A couple times Kyle stayed behind as well, so Price showed you some sparring tricks he'd learned from years of experience. You were getting anxious though as Spirit's window was closing in. Honestly, you didn't need your parents by now. You had your own pack here. It was a little scary, but you were safe.

The final day comes and both Kyle and Price take you to Spirit. They're protective as they walk with, standing on either side. Price kept a hand on your back, while your tail was tucked between your legs. Spirit stood outside the small office giving you a friendly smile. You sat down at a chair, with Kyle and Price behind you, and a stranger standing behind Spirit.

"Y/N, do you want to go to a program?" Spirit asked. Your ears perked up. You thought you didn't have much of a choice. Isn't that why the stranger was there?

"No." You said. The stranger let out a soft breath, expecting your answer. Spirit looked back at him, shrugging.

"You want to stay on base?" She asked. You nodded because yeah you did want to stay. You felt so useful and not just for your looks or hybrid features. Your tail started to wag.

"Unfortunately, staying on base is not very simple." Spirit explained. Your ears lowered, and your tail stopped moving. "There's plenty of noise, things that can startle you and highly stressful situations that would put your life highly at risk."

"I know." You said, lowering your gaze in disappointment.

"There are some solutions for that." Spirit told you. You looked up, hopeful. Spirit sighed, knowing this explaination would be complicated. At least it was a decent compromise.

"There's a program in Australia, one that I have been assured will focus on your health and safety above all else. Not only that, but they can help you with handling stressful situations, as well as allow you to have regular visits with your sponsors. You can come visit the base or any other base as long as your sponsors agree to it." Spirit continued. She gestured to the stranger. "This man is a rerainer for the program, and thoroughly studies the hybrids they work with. He's here to take you to their facility, but only if you agree to it."

You sat there, listening to the explanation. It sounded too good to be true. You'd heard about programs being rough for a lot of hybrids but Spirit trusted this one. You did have a question though.

"Who are my sponsors?" You asked. Spirit looked past you and nodded to the two winged men standing behind you. You turned around and saw both of them smiling. Your face lit up, and without thinking, you ran over to Price, hugging his waist. He chuckled and hugged you back.

"I take it that's a yes?" Spirit asked. You nodded against Price's shirt, tearing up. The stranger smirked, and talked to Spirit for a moment. It was going to be a couple days before you were taken to the facility. It was also going to be scary. You were happy though, and that was enough for Kyle and Price. You had a pack now, and they both had a new treasure.

Taglist: @yourlovely-moon @kaoyamamegami @h0n3y-l3m0n05 @sans-chara @0wosugarmommymedic0wo @smitten-haematite-quartz @talia-the-gemini @yuki2129 @whitetiger846 @graystorm444 @chibiduck @reaperxxxxzz @danielle143 @sobbingnshtting @cringeycookies @cryingpages @dcnocap207 @reaper-chan666 @bestbookfriends @thriving-n-jiving @cutiecusp @shikigami-the-paper-spirit @lolyouranelf

[lovely-parasite-04]

Iced Coffee, Detective?

Agnes!Agatha Harkness x Fem!Reader

Prologue

Part 1

SUMMARY: Y/N makes it to Agatha's house expecting an hour or two of entertainment and instead finds herself in more "trouble" than she prepared for.

WARNINGS: Mention of a gun, Agatha being Agatha

NOTE: This was a long time coming, lol. I got a lot more interaction than expected, and I was so excited! However, for the longest time I didn't know where to take my little blurb and had this part halfway finished just collecting dust. I also was feeling partially guilty for picking this back up when I have scholarship essays to write but heehee oh well that will happen when it happens. ANYWAY I hope you enjoy and if you have thoughts, feel free to share :)

Walking through the neighborhood to get to Agatha's house, I made it a point to avoid looking at the plot of land Wanda Maximoff had decided to take over during her time here. There was no longer a house there, and the concrete foundation that was left had graffiti all over it. I think it's the first of anything I have seen vandalized in Westview. Despite the words overlapping and being hastily spray painted onto the small structure, I didn't need to know what it was all about; there was nothing nice written in all that mess about the Scarlet Witch or her actions in Westview.

Agatha's lovely house was to the right.

  It was a very cozy house on the outside, with beautifully green bushes almost blocking the front windows and what looked like the outside of a bay window to the left of the door. Overall the property looked shockingly plain to hold someone so...not plain. Who knows what I would find on the inside.

  What was I even doing here, anyway? I don't have to be here. There was absolutely no obligation to follow through with Agatha's summoning. She would have forgotten about it soon enough. But now I'm in front of her door after my shift to...what? To be questioned about someone - who I'm certain is imaginary - I lied about knowing? To entertain Agatha and then in turn myself? To maybe get a little insight on this curse of hers? To see her play "bad cop" with no "good cop" to save me?

  Jesus, just knock on the door.

  I raised my hand, shaking my loud-ass thoughts away and deciding to wing it. Suddenly the door swings open and I almost "assault an officer." Agatha catches my fist before it lands in her face, "Woah! Watch out there, kid." Her hair was still up but a little rattier like she'd just been napping - if her clothes were anything to go by. A Star Trek T-shirt that's two sizes two big, velvet sweatpants, and purple fuzzy socks.

  I couldn't help a giggle escape me and I blurted out, "Did you just wake up?"

  "You were supposed to call before you came in. I could have been out following a lead, or in a meeting."

  "Oh, lucky timing I guess." Right. Stick to the script. Even if you don't have a copy of said "script" for yourself. This would be an actor's worst nightmare.

  I have to clear my throat to remind her she's still got my wrist held above my head, and then I swallow at the thought.

  "Seriously though, the door is glass. You didn't need to knock." She drops my wrist and immediately turns on her heel into her house - I swear I see her start to yawn, but then maybe being under the spell is exhausting. I know after the town was liberated, I stayed in my bed for days just recovering. The door was definitely not glass, so she must have heard me pull into her driveway and watched me through the window. At least now I have a little clue to what she thinks her "prescient" looks like. An office with a glass door. Neat.

  I mentally smack myself knowing now that she watched me stare at her door for so long. I can't be embarrassed for too long though, because entering Agatha's house was like entering a new world - and not one I expected. The dark wood and light green walls gave an earthy cozy feel to the living room and the sofa looked old and comfy. I catch sight of a wall covered in random pictures of grass and flowers with red yarn connecting them every-which-way. Agatha pulls a funky looking arm chair up to her coffee table, gesturing for me to sit on the sofa. I comply - I was right about the couch - and I notice the head of a garden hose lying on the table in front of me.

  "Sorry," Agatha takes it and puts it into the side of her pants? "There shouldn't be any need for that, right?"

  No way that's what she's using for a gun.

  "Um...no, ma'am."

  "Great. Goooood." She smacks her lips and pulls a Manila folder out of nowhere, switching it between her hands almost to taunt me. Her eyes haven't left me since I arrived. "We'll get to this in a second. First, tell me about how you knew the girl."

  Uh-oh.

  My hands were suddenly damp and I did my best to rub them off on my own pants, looking around as if that'd give me a clue to what my relationship was with this fake victim. Then I remembered the pictures of flowers on the wall. "I-We were gardeners. Together. We gardened together...all the time."

  Agatha's eyes squinted and her lips pursed, "Interesting." That was the worst lying I had ever done, but how could she not believe me? Wouldn't her mind just make something up to go with her narrative anyway? "How did you two meet? Garden club?"

  "Sure."

  "Oh really? And who else was in this club? Probably a bunch of other old ladies."

  "Woah. Rude."

  "Moving on." She suddenly stands and drops the file she had in her hands and I choke on air as she bends over to pick it up. The velvet sweatpants she's wearing have the word "Naughty," bedazzled on the butt. This is definitely entertaining. If someone knocked me out right now and woke me back up to tell me I dreamed all of this, I'd believe them. She whips back around and offers the file to me, "Let's take a look at this file, huh? Sound like fun?"

  Fun. For sure.

  I take the file from her hand, now unable to take the image of her bedazzled ass out of my mind, while she circles the couch and leans over my shoulder. I'm perfectly still as I feel her cheek a hair away from mine. I can smell her shampoo, I think. It's mostly a clean smell with a small floral hint to it.

  Great. Now I'm taking in the notes of her scent. I can't fall for the town hero/cook/ancient witch. What would that make me? The idiot? Definitely some sort of idiot. Then it hits me that she is unfortunately exactly my type: older, brunette, and a little deranged. I'm toast.

  "Go ahead." She whispers in my ear. Dear god. "No need to be scared. There's nothing in there you can't handle."

  Taking a deep breath, mainly to slow down my now rapid heartbeat, I open the file. Inside are some bills addressed to someone named Ralph Bohner - tragic last name - and a couple blank papers. I pretend to take it in but have no idea where to go from here, so I look back at Agatha. Big mistake. Her mouth is now a hair away from my mouth.

  My neck nearly breaks from how far and fast my head shoots back, and I guess Agatha thinks she startled me because she chuckles before standing straight again. "Just as I thought..." What? What does that mean?

She comes around the couch and her hands are shaped into finger-guns with her two index fingers pressed against her lips in a thoughtful manner. Until she's leaning over me, her arms supporting her weight against the back of the couch on either side of my head. Her face is centimeters away from mine. I know I'm blushing but I'm praying to whatever's out there that she can't see the red under that spell of hers. She cranes her neck past my face to be right by my ear again and whispers, "I know it was you."

Huh?!

  "I don't-"

  "Pretty interesting reaction you had to my file there...only a guilty killer would act that way when faced with the cold. Hard. Truth." She yells the last part and I knock my head into her arm trying to lean away from it. Pushing herself back up straight, she looks down her nose at me and gives half a chuckle and god do I have butterflies right now?! "I'm afraid I'm gonna be taking you in now."

  Taking me in? What does that mean for her? What will that mean for me? I've been found guilty? For a crime that doesn't even exist by a cop that's not even a cop. This has gone too far. I need to get out of here. I'll make it out of here and go home and never mess with the town cook again. I can't get tangled in this - what am I meant to do?

  I slowly start to scooch to the edge of the couch with my hands up in surrender. "Aw man, that sucks. Well listen, Ms Harkness - Detective! Sorry, Detective Harkness. I..I have homework that is due tonight and damn look at the time. It's been fun-" Making the most coherent excuses I can think of knowing damn well she's only gonna hear what she wants to, I slowly stand and begin to back away when her own hands shoot up. Before I can do anything at all, red fuzzy handcuffs are around both my wrists. I choke on air while Agatha stands there completely serious. I really hope these are meant to be regular handcuffs and don't belong to her. I don't think I could handle it otherwise.

  "You're not going anywhere, toots."

  Now I'm really toast.

-----------------

[nalyra-dreaming]

Hello N,

I just finished The Vampire Lestat and it was such a wild ride! I fell in love with Nicki and Nickistat but I feel like his story was so tragic and it stayed with me after concluding the story. It left me feeling disappointed in Lestat's and Gabrielle's treatment of him. Gabrielle was ready to leave him hanging until Lestat reminded her that Nicki was good to her. I also didn't like how she referred to the situation with Nicki as a "disaster". This was a man that traveled with her and looked out for her.

As for Lestat, I was equally disappointed with how he treated Nicki. Nicki was obviously struggling with a mental disability early on in the book so it was disappointing to hear Lestat say he could no longer stand to be around him or could no longer stand the sight of him after Nicki's despondency and detachment grew after vampirism. It reminds me of the spouse who leaves their partner after they've suffered some trauma or ailment and their appearance has been compromised. Then to leave him with Armand who had already tried to convince Lestat to destroy him once before was definitely careless. I understand that Nicki requested Lestat leave, but I felt like Nicki was lashing out, and Lestat gave up too easily. Maybe if Nicki had more time and Lestat was more patient, Nicki would have worked through that darkness because it's my understanding that Louis does by the end of the books?

I just wish Nicki's situation wasn't so tragic. And what makes it worse is none of it was his fault because he couldn't help his mental state.

Nicki‘s situation IS tragic.

It is also not as clear cut as you relay it here.

Gabrielle did use the word "disaster", but she referred to Lestat turning Nicolas - not Nicolas himself. And, her harsh wording notwithstanding, but that is what it ultimately accumulated to, namely torture, starvation, madness and then death.

Nicolas may have been well struggling with a mental illness, yes, but he was also struggling waaaaayyyyy before he and Lestat hooked up, and already spiraling, something which Lestat recognized but could or would not really "see" - here is a post with a lot of quotes wrt that:

When you say "worked through the darkness" you do realize that it took Louis hundreds of years, a suicide (and not just "any" attempt either) and lots of reflection to do that, right. Nicolas was a lot more volatile than Louis, which is something that Eleni writes in the letters. He did not direct the darkness within as Louis does for the most part, no he tries to take the "world" down with him.

And ultimately, this is what leads to his death, namely Armand having to use... means to subdue him.

Anne… had the tendency to victim blame, to put the blame of "not trying hard enough" on them, all the while struggling herself as well. That does reflect here, unfortunately.

Nicki seeks out the darkness after life failed him, after he went against his father, after the bitterness led him into darkness, and he tries to drag Lestat down with him deliberately.

Nicolas did not want to go to Paris with Lestat because he loved him - he wanted them to go down, to die.

No-one - I repeat - no-one owes someone a (shared) suicide.

When Lestat recognized he could not save Nicki, that is when he realized he had to leave him behind. This isn't simply a "spouse leaving a sick partner", this is recognizing you can not help someone and leaving them in the hopefully best care you can provide.

Lestat was hoping that time would provide what he could not, not then. But Nicolas destroyed that chance with his behavior, and that is not trying to blame him here, it is simply a fact, given Armand's absolute rules there. Which were then enforced.

[cryptid-killjoy]

Date?

Okay, that was cute. Too cute coming out of Elsa's mouth. It wasn't that it couldn't be a date it was just his mind hadn't thought in that direction due to the circumstances. He'd thought it was a pretty obvious joke when he had said he knew how to treat a lady by giving her a time with funerals and tetanus shots. Maybe he was flirting? He didn't know. It was just his personality. He didn't tend to analyze himself so much. He was watching her though. She was being ever so evasive after. It might have been the most adorable thing he'd ever seen on a grown woman.

"Still, I wouldn't want to land mediocre. I might have to consider stepping up. Maybe. I'll think about it. Feels like pressure. Didn't know I was getting challenged the day after, I might be up for it."

Yup. He went there. He was grinning too much. He had to playfully niggle her a little before moving on.

As for how old he was on the next topic and moving along, he start to lead the way the old rope swing beyond the tree line. Something told him Elsa wouldn't be swinging on that either after the merry-go-round, but Koda still wanted to see his old stomping grounds. This was his time after all. "Oh, uh well I guess the official age was eight. After my father was killed. I don't know. I mean we still technically had our home here, but Mom was angry all the time. She started hanging out with Shan Yu around there. Everyone was angry all the time. I was angry all the time. Shan Yu promised to turn me when I got older and as a kid you think that's really cool. You want to be powerful, never get hurt like my father. Then I had Denahi telling me no. Mom eventually moved us in with Coven. She wasn't going to have anyone tell her how to raise her kid I guess. I was a kid. I thought I got my way. Then the training with Shan Yu started."

"Not like I regret any of my skills now, but looking back, the discipline, it was hard on a kid. I can't even explain what he put me through."

And just like that with a simple question of when did he leave he somehow opened up just a little more of himself again.

"My grandparents threatened to sue for grandparents' rights legally and to avoid court drama she granted them once a month visit and I'd come back for this. After my grandparents passed my visits grew less and less. Denahi tried to keep her welcomed because I was young I'd always say if my mother isn't welcome, I am not welcome. Now you see a little more why there's a little bad blood concerning me and my mothers being buried here. We've had our ups and downs here."

Then as he was opening up the walk did too. It wasn't just a rope swing. It was a child's imagination land. It began to look like any teen wasteland, a wore out half pipe with grass overgrown on the edges. There was spray paint everywhere. There was a lot of grotesque art and scribbling, random names, symbols, but there was also stylized art. Koda's face came alive and no more sad past came from his memories.

He started chattering away about the kids and all the adventures they had back there daring each other to do big tricks. He'd point to the remnants of paint he couldn't believe was still there like it was a time capsule from another world, another life, a different him. He talked a lot of outer space adventures right his skateboard cockpit. He'd laugh unashamed every time he said something silly because that was the fun of being a kid. That was the fun of the rez. He couldn't do kid things with his Mom or Coven. The rez was his refuge.

"I'd pretend to get sucked into this black hole all the time." He laughed pointing through some work of art. "Oh the adventures I had in there."

Throwing up was not exactly Elsa’s sort of thing. If she even could, she didn’t know. She sometimes sneezed out snowflakes, so who knows what would come up if her stomach was purged. Little snowmen? Icicles? Probably things that the Laveaus would find fascinating, but which she would feel deeply humiliated about. Her already white skin turned all the more pale at the thought.

“I think that’s a badge I would rather go without,” She said in that Elsa-like way. As if it was a real badge and not just an expression.

But thankfully, he thought of something else to do. Something she’d be a lot more comfortable with, as she would have second thoughts about the merry-go-round.

She nodded, and would walk with him to check out the rope swing. That sounded a lot less nausea inducing. But as they walked she would remark, without thinking for once - “I’ve had worse dates.”

Then all at once her mind caught up with what she had said. Dates. Was this a date? Or was this still just her being here to support him. They had never established, and now the gears were turning inside of her head, wondering whether she should correct herself and say that she had worse trips, which was true, or if she should just stay calm and collected, and perhaps he would overlook what she had said.

She went with the latter to avoid being a stumbling mess.

“How old were you when you moved from here?” She asked, quick to move onto the next topic.

[redeliminator]

i believe that to some extent Andre knows he's fucked up and this headcanon is one of the hills I will die on in the farewell tape, Cal says that “you can’t cure somebody who has nothing wrong with them.” 

Andre, on the other hand, admits they might be seen as hypocrites. he's not gonna back out, he still thinks it's the right thing for him to do, but he seems to acknowledge that people will not perceive it the same way. he tries to explain that no matter what it’ll look like, it’s not murder for the sake of murder - not in his eyes at least. there's a (sick and twisted) lesson hidden in this tragedy.

to some extent, Andre is aware of what’s going on with him, what exactly shaped him into who he is now. he sees the cause and effect of being bullied, of feeling rejected and alienated, and not being able to do anything about it because that's just who he is. he can kick and scream and shout but he will never change who he is at his core and this realization is crushing for a 17/18-year-old. this and all the implications of a missing sense of belonging.

he knows he’s messed up. he knows what would fix him and he’s convinced it’s out of his reach. he looks at other students and he thinks: it’ll never be me. and he's angry that they have something he will never have.

his awareness doesn't help though. if anything, it fuels his frustration. what adults know to be a temporary problem (high school) seemed like an insurmountable obstacle, the end of everything.

[basicallyjaywalker]

Wanna ramble about a moment/character in ninjago you think people need to talk about more?

I don't know who you are anon, but I'm glad you asked!

I am desperate for people to character-analyze Wu. I'm desperate for a lot of character analysis including Nya but since I got a lot of my Nya feelings out with some lovely folks the other night (edit: the other night was a month ago dw about it. this took a minute) I'm going with Wu this time

Master Wu to me is such an interesting case of a character who it is so easy to ignore the bits of the show that hint at his wider issues and traumas. He is a man defined heavily by his family and by his past. A lot of criticism he gets, I think, is due in part to that.

I've mentioned before that I've been rewatching S1 with a friend of mine and intermittently pausing to infodump on them about interesting character things I notice from that season. A lot of that has been Wu-focused because despite having seen RotS dozens of times throughout my life (watching it on CN, watching it on Netflix when only it and Legacy were around, rewatching it with friends) I have only just started noticing the seeds of character written in.

I might also just be reading too much into things, but hear me out

In S1 (and by extension, the pilots), Wu is characterized as your typical old wise teacher. In the first few minutes of EP1: Rise of the Snakes, he is chewing out the Ninja for playing video games instead of training. The line he uses? "Never put off until tomorrow what can be done today."

It's a line that gets repeated throughout the series. In fact, it gets repeated that very episode when the ninja go (pun not intended) to fight the Hypnobrai and a literal pre-teen. At first, it seems to just be a piece of wisdom. Some old proverb Wu's picked up over the years, possibly one he even coined himself. However, in EP7: Tick Tock, Wu tells the story of who, possibly, first told him this.

(Source: Tick Tock/Transcript | Ninjago Wiki | Fandom, highlight added.)

It was Garmadon. Now, I'm not gonna dwell too long on Garmadon, if you spend five minutes talking to me you'll learn he was the first character whose story I obsessed over and I want this essay to be about Wu, but I think he plays a role in Wu's overall story, as does Wu's family as a whole.

Prior to this, Wu and Garmadon's relationship has been more of a sibling rivalry taken to a good vs. evil extreme. We didn't know why Garmadon was evil and we didn't know about Wu and his relationship as kids. However, this scene establishes the backstory. They were, as Wu puts it, "the best of friends." That is, until Garmadon gets bit by the Devourer going to get the katana Wu lost.

Now, I know the Devourer bite was destined to happen because of the Overlord or some shit, but Wu doesn't. As far as he's concerned, Garmadon getting bit was a direct consequence of both his mistake and his cowardice. He lost the katana. He was too scared to get it. Garmadon went over instead. Garmadon got bit.

The scene goes on to show the FSM tending to Garmadon in the aftermath. Wu is watching from behind the door, likely told to stay back, but concerned. And in his POV, we get this intense moment, where Garmadon turns, looks directly at him (his eyes turning bright red for the first time), and says "It's all Wu's fault!"

(This clip should begin at the start of Wu eavesdropping. If it doesn't, skip to 0:58. I highly recommend also paying attention to Wu's body language during this scene.)

The camerawork does a great job of showing how this probably felt for Wu. It zooms in, Garmadon's voice echoes, and the background blurs. We see in the flashback that this is a moment Wu has etched into his memory. Not to mention, he was likely a very young child when this happened. LEGO characters' ages are weird, but Wu in this scene has the Big Eyes, which always seem to be used for characters under 12. We don't know exactly how much older Garmadon is to my knowledge, but he doesn't have the Big Eyes, so he's probably closer to 12 and a few years older than Wu for sure.

Imagine that. Being in elementary school and your older siblings gets hurt. They're acting strange. They're lashing out at your father. Then, they blame it all on you. They're hurt because of you. Wouldn't you internalize that?

I could go on about Wu's relationship with Garmadon, but again, I think I've spent enough time on it and I don't want to only focus on that. It's an important part, but there are others.

Let's talk about Wu's relationship with his dad.

Now, I have not yet read the Spinjitzu Brothers series. I cannot speak to any development of Wu and the FSM's relationship in there. I have, however, read The Book of Spinjitzu and blogged some of my thoughts on it here, including some of what it says about Wu.

For those who haven't read it, first, there is a Google Drive folder floating around with all of the canon spinoff books/graphic novels in it. Here's the link if you wanna read them!

The FSM is an... intriguing figure. I mean, in the series he's basically god? He made the entire world. That's already a very high bar to live up to. Then, in Book of Spinjitzu, there's a few specific parts that, when I read them, signaled that Wu internalized a specific message when he was young.

(Source: The Book of Spinjitzu, Page 3).

Wu does not want to disappoint his father. It is up to him (and Garmadon until he turns evil) to "uphold the legacy of Spinjitzu" and, by extension, his family. He says he was "very young" when this was explained to him. Considering he seems to already be training at an elementary age, "very young" means VERY young.

(Source: The Book of Spinjitzu, Page 16).

Here, we again see Wu being very aware that he has some large burden to carry. Something else interesting here is that the thought of the Green Ninja Prophecy is already weighing on him too. His considering if he might be the Green Ninja is of extra interest because of how the Green Ninja Prophecy and the--I wouldn't call it obsession, possibly fixation?--with who it is factors into his later actions, but we'll get to that later.

(Source: The Book of Spinjitzu, Page 19).

This one in particular gets me because it comes after Wu mentions Garmadon becoming more evil. It is a statement of power. Wu knows that the legacy of Spinjitzu now rests in his hands alone. He cannot let himself fall the way Garmadon did. He cannot disappoint his father. Whether or not the FSM intended it, Wu always knew the fate of the world rested, at least in part, upon his shoulder. He knew this from the time he was a young boy and it remains in his mind to this day.

Now, these quotes are indirect, but they all point to one clear idea: As a child, Wu internalized the idea that he alone is responsible for keeping Ninjago safe. He will play a pivotal role in its history.

There's not evidence in this book that the FSM's was a bad father, per se. However, just because one doesn't set out to harm their children, doesn't mean they won't. I often say Wu has an "Atlas complex," which I have no idea if it is an actual concept but use it to refer to this idea. Wu feels as though he is responsible for holding up the world, much like Atlas. He must keep the balance, he must solve the Green Ninja prophecy, he must make his father proud.

(Source: The Book of Spinjitzu, page 61).

I'm going to get further into what this means for Wu as a teacher to the current Ninja Team, but for now let's look at Wu's first foray into teaching.

Morro. Wu's Biggest Mistake.

That might seem like an overstatement, but it's not.

(Source: Ghost Story/Transcript | Ninjago Wiki | Fandom)

Okay he says regret, not mistake, but I was paraphrasing.

Let's turn back to his quote about his destiny. Wu writes, "Is my life's mission to be the Green Ninja? Or maybe it will be to find the Green Ninja and protect him (or her)??"

From a very young age, Wu was not only aware of the Green Ninja but prophecy but also thinking about his place in it. We see this again when he takes Morro in and trains him.

(Source: Ghost Story/Transcript | Ninjago Wiki | Fandom, highlight added)

A big thing Wu is criticized for here is making Morro believe he is meant to be more. That he is the Chosen One. And Morro, being a young homeless orphan just now given some semblance of power and protection, latches onto that. And I can see it, but when you take into account the above that he was trained from (likely) a younger age than Morro and given a similar level of responsibility, it becomes more understandable. Wu is just doing what he was taught. He doesn't believe that he is harming Morro until it is too late.

This is the entire story, but I'm specifically going to be discussing 1:36 onwards here. I also wanted to add that rewatching this scene made me lay down on the floor! What the fuck! But I digress.

There's a lot going on in this scene. For one, Wu washing his hands of Morro in some ways, but not others. He turns his back on Morro when he tells him that destiny has decided, but looks at him again when Morro storms out. He goes to save Morro from the Grundal, but decides that he cannot "teach those who would not listen." Most importantly, when Morro leaves to go find the Tomb of the FSM, Wu leaves the door open. He waits for Morro to return, but never goes after him. And Morro never comes back.

Wu gives Morro's fate a dismissive response at the end of his ghost story ("I am saddened he was banished to the Cursed Realm") but it's clear he still cares deeply about him in the finale of the season.

Wu's VA in this is phenomenal btw. That "Please Morro!" and "MORRO!" make my heart ache.

Morro believed Wu stopped caring, but he didn't. Even after all he's done, even after trying to destroy all of Ninjago--destroying what Wu had spent his life trying to protect--Wu tries to save him. He begs for Morro to come with him. Morro refuses, Wu watches him perish.

Someone else Wu is close to is gone. Wu again considers himself responsible. Everything is his fault.

And finally, we reach Wu today. A cautious, secretive man. He loves his students, this much is clear. Even as early as the pilots, he drops his wise teacher persona to joke around with them.

As with Morro, he trains them like his father did him. He even uses the same methods his father used when he trains them.

(Source: The Book of Spinjitzu, page 32)

While he is hard on the Ninja, wanting them to succeed and training them to help defend the Realm, he lets his guard down more than it seems he did with Morro. He also learned a valuable message from his experience with Morro when he hides the Green Ninja Prophecy from the Ninja, getting angry when they start to push themselves in the same way Morro did upon learning about it. It's clear he doesn't want a repeat.

Now, I can't speak for later seasons (I will eventually) but this fear of repeats, his students going down a dark path because they're tempted by power or greatness, losing someone else, likely drives Wu not telling them other important information. That is just a passing thought though.

Final notes:

I'm currently in the process of rewatching S7: Hands of Time. I actually got this ask right after finishing EP68: Scavengers, which opens with Wu having a nightmare. In it, he and Misako are walking outside of Yang's temple. While walking, Misako delivers this line in response to Wu reminiscing about the time they've spent together:

(Source: Scavengers/Transcript | Ninjago Wiki | Fandom)

This line, to me, is Wu's subconscious trying to tell him something he needs to hear. It's hinting at what might be his greatest flaw. Wu is haunted by his past, by his mistakes. He finds it difficult to tell others because of both his guilt and his desire to not put that worry upon them. In this very season, he makes the mistake of trying to face his past on his own, and he nearly dies for it.

In the same episode, you see Wu trying to make sure Lloyd doesn't make the same mistakes.

(Source: Prev)

Wu stresses the important of the team. It's as if he sees Lloyd blaming himself for what happened to Wu, sees him doing the same thing Wu has, and is trying to prevent him from doing the same thing. This is further emphasized when, after Wu falls asleep (well, fakes falling asleep), Lloyd says "Wu's mistake was going in alone. So was mine."

Master Wu is, like many characters in this show, someone who is more complex than meets the eye. He is not just a wise, old teacher. He is a man who, throughout his life, has made mistakes and carries the weight of each of them on his shoulders. He is a man who tasks himself with making up for those every day. He is a man who wants better for his students, his family.

Until the day he dies, he will guide and protect his students. And possibly? Even after death too.

[imminent-danger-came]

Part of me, deep deep down, wonders if we still may have a scene of MK on his knees versus his friends a la 4x07