#or in someone's house planning our next intervention or painting signs

[areyoudoingthis]

what's that post about how maybe things won't be okay but you have people who love you and you'll get through it. that's how i feel right now

[liptonsbabe]

Chains of a family [B.W]

Bill Weasley x Grant! reader

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4

Summary: Molly thinks that Bill’s and the reader relationship is a mistake so she wants them apart from each other. Bill’s against his mother wishes and he find a way to drag the reader into the Weasley family officialy

Word count: 1.9K

Warnings: none

A/N: Hi! Part 4 of this thing lol. I’m so happy that you guys like this story. It’ll have like 20 chapters or so, i’m still deciding that so yeah, that’s pretty much the thing. Btw, from now on chapters will be more interestings... i hope so lol. Again, english not my mother language. Please let me know if something’s wrong. Aaaaaand if you want to be tagged in the next chapters tell me and i will add you! Enjoy!

Chapter 4: Arguments

The rest of the afternoon passed as normal as the days before your arrival. Arthur Weasley made sure of it. Even if Molly attacked you with her dagger gaze when you and Bill hugged each other after you were done with dessert.

You didn’t know what Mr. Weasley had talked about with his wife while you were taking a shower, however, you noticed the tension rising from their bodies after you sat down at the table next to Bill and saw an annoyance sign on Molly’s lips. Her temple was frowned, reminding you of your own mother's gestures. Those flaming eyes, cleft chin, and pinion lips. Both women contract their features too much when they were upset and in your distress, you knew that they must not be disturbed.

The last thing you wanted was to hurt a marriage as solid as the Weasley's. More than once you heard your mother talk about it with your nanny making a powerful emphasis on how Molly and Arthur were able to carry out their marriage even if their economic conditions were precarious and the war was on their heels. They were an envied couple. Few dared to expand the family as much as they did without money in their pockets and spreading their progeny like a plague. No one was surprised, not even your mother, not when her marriage to Evan Grant was merely for financial advantage. Now Arthur and Molly looked upset, too upset for your understanding and you just hoped they could get along soon.

You weren't sure you deserved the sacrifice Bill's father had made for you, yet a flame of hope lit up in your chest. If Mr. Weasley started to trust you that was a good sign for others to do as well, right?

The afternoon continued as normal, seeing how Bill's plans to distract you from the fervent harassment of his mother was marred by the twins intervention. They had just finished a new product for their store and needed a good taster to certify the quality of their merchandise. It was a bad idea, he told himself, because twins were just a disaster and you didn't know them well enough to deny their good-natured pretensions.

"Be kind!" He yelled at them as Fred and George pulled you into their. Bill exhaled, pleading that his brothers wouldn't bother his girlfriend more than his mother already had.

Before taking you home, he thought about the pros and cons of your stay in the burrow. His conclusion was based on the fact that his entire family welcomed Harry Potter with open arms, so you didn't have to be the exception. He knew the difference in conditions in which his theory developed, yet he put his trust in the good judgment of his family even if the Grants' past left much to be desired. Bill didn't talk much about you with his mother, in fact, your presence at home was the last of his worries, the real problem came at the time of joining the Order of the Phoenix, would you be willing to fight against your relatives even if that mean betraying your own blood? Bill hope you will

Coming downstairs, Bill found his mother storing the leftover food in the fridge while the dishes soaked in the sink. Then he watched her clean each plate with her bare hands, no magic. William knew his anger was real.

"Want some help with that?"

"I'd love to, honey, thank you," his mother answered without looking at him. Bill raised the sleeves of his shirt to his elbows, dipping his hands into the tide of water and bubbles that flew across the kitchen. Molly was silent, drying the dishes and flying them to her place in the display case across the kitchen. Bill cleared his throat doubtfully "It never hurts to help, much less when I have so many things to do before the rest of the Order arrive"

"Don't worry, I'll help you with that too."

"Perfect"

"Mom, can we talk?"

"About what?

"You know what," Bill clicked his tongue, passing her the last plate from the sink to continue with the spoons. "(Y/N)..."

"Your father has scolded me enough about that girl, I don't need you to do it too"

"I wouldn't if you had a little consideration with her."

"More consideration?" Molly asked in a squeak. Bill shook his head. "I'm letting her stay at my home!"

"Our home, mom, ours," he corrected, drying his hands with a cloth. "This house also belongs to my dad, my brothers, and me. It's the burrow, a family property, not a secret club where some people can get in and others cannot."

"You know what I think of her"

"And you know I don't care." Molly looked scandalized at her son. She didn't understand what he had seen in someone like you or what you had given him to come out and defend you as he did "I don't ask you to love her, but at least you have to try...

"Have you ever wondered what will happen when she betrays us?"

"That's not gonna happen"

"You're very sure of that, William"

"I'm convinced, Mom. You don't know her like I do and, you know what? I see that wanting to talk to you was a mistake"

"Moody thinks like me," Molly stopped him when Bill was ready to go upstairs. The woman clung to the railing watching her son standing in the first step out of the kitchen "(Y/N) Grant is a danger to the Order"

"Really? Like Mundungus Fletcher? I beg your pardon, mom, but if there is anyone who represents a latent danger to the Order of the Phoenix, it's him and yet you have assigned him for the mission tonight"

Molly's lips parted and if it weren't for the fact that Bill knew her mother too well, he might think the woman was about to throw herself on the floor in a tantrum. Still, she clenched the bars tightly, her brow furrowed, and the redness on her cheeks washed over her forehead.

"William!" Don't talk to me like that!"

"I wouldn't if you had a little more respect for my girlfriend."

"Don't you understand? I care about you! For all of us!" She snarled angrily. "Having a Riddle in this house..."

"A Grant, mom, (Y/N) is a Grant and that's not the same." Bill descended his steps, approaching her mother, returning that angry look that she had inherited from him. It was a strange sensation. A dyad of emotions between joy and fear where the composed emotion was guilt. He had never exploded that way with his mother, but Molly hadn't behaved that way with anyone either "His grandfather is Lord Voldemort's half-brother and his brothers are all Death Eaters, what does it matter? (Y/N) is not. And when do we judge others by where they come from? If so, we could start with half of us. Being a Weasley is equivalent to being a blood traitor"

"William!"

Molly's face went from fury to shock to fury again. Bill's eyes were twinkling and Molly swore she had never seen any of her children this angry, or worse, this determined.

"What would you have done, Mom?" Bill questioned taking his mother by his arms in an attempt to make him feel her despair. Molly opened her eyes, scared. "When your family tell you not to accept dad? When your brothers object to your engagement, just 'cause the Weasleys have long been considered blood traitors?"

For the first time that day Molly's mind went blank, Bill guessed, rewinding the memories of how difficult it was for the Prewetts to accept the marriage. Bill pleaded silently, but pulled away from her when his mother gave no indication to be a little more respectful with you.

"We aren't like that. We don't separate people by where they come from, we hug them" Bill resumed his way towards the stairs, stopping a couple of steps up, turning to take a look at Molly's stunned figure "As you did with Hermione, Remus and Harry when you and Dad became his godparents after Sirius died. (Y/N) is no different"

"She will turn her back on us when the Order fight the Grants. That moment will come and you know it"

"Don't worry, i'll make sure that doesn't happen"

"She is not part of this family"

"That can be solved very easily," he said and the smile he wore gave her a terrible chill down her spine. "Because I'm going to ask her to be my wife."

Molly's gasp was the only thing Bill heard before climbing the stairs and heading to the twins' room. He always respected his mother a lot and even thinking of opposing to her wishes was inconceivable, but your well-being was something that was involved and Bill couldn't just let her mother control his life at her will. Maybe the mistake he made was not telling his parents the truth about you from the start or, in that case, mentioning that the woman he loved was the fucking niece of the strongest fucking dark wizard of all time.

Bill Weasley rubbed his face as he reached the twins' door. He no longer had to torment himself, it was done and the only thing pending at the moment was to get Harry out of his uncles' house, take him safely to the burrow and find the courage to do what he told his mother he would do.

Would you agree to marry him? He hoped so and if not, he wouldn't pressure you. You were young - even a little younger than him - and it would be understandable if you refused to tie your life to someone else's from one moment to the other. The war progressed every day and if you were going to do it, you would do it as soon as possible.

Loud laughings brought him out of his thoughts to observe you and his brothers sitting on the floor, right in the center of both beds, laughing at each other and touching your faces. From the doorway Bill can't see the full painted room, however George's face showed a rather abstract mural full of bright colors when he felt the presence of his older brother. Fred did the same showing his face in the same situation and then you turned to Bill, still laughing and your face smeared with paint. It seemed the twins had created a paint bomb in millimeter pills, that explode when you put a little bit of pressure. You tried to clean yourself with the sleeve of your sweater but you spread the paint even more. Fred and George laughed and so did Bill.

His heart swelled with love as he saw that at least someone in his family - besides him and his father - had hope in you. God, he may have even cried with happiness.

Bill never understood how a sunshine as beautiful as you was never accepted in your entire life.

Tags:

@purple-vodka-99

@vampirestrawberries

Thanks for the 100 followers!❤

[humanperryfic]

Everybody Needs Somebody to Love

When uncle Perry coughs up a whole flower at breakfast, Candace is understandably worried. She's also confused when she realizes that he has no plans to confess his love.

Despite having no idea what's really going on, and being told not to interfere, Candace is determined to get her uncle and his crush together.

Life might not always be a romance novel, but Candace is going to make it as close as possible.

Title from the Blues Brothers song

AO3/FF.net

TW’s for mild blood

The alarm on Candace's bedside table goes off with an obnoxious beeping noise. Candace groans and throws her arm out, attempting to silence the annoying noise. It's a teacher workday, why did she set her alarm? 

That's right, she wanted a head-start on her busting. Looking out her window, she sees Phineas and Ferb already building. Perfect. 

She rolls out of bed and pulls on her usual outfit before running a brush through her hair. Despite her sleep-deprived brain, she manages to put together a few coherent answers to Stacy's overnight texts before leaving her room.

Candace stumbles down the stairs to the kitchen, barely managing to avoid tripping over her own feet. It's early, and she was awake until almost one in the morning last night. 

The only person who's in the kitchen is uncle Perry, who's pouring himself a bowl of cereal. Good morning, he signs. 

"Morning," she grumbles, scrubbing at her eyes to rid them of the typical early-morning bleariness. "Where's mom and dad?"

Antiques convention, remember?

Candace sighs. That's right. Mom and dad are at a three-day antiques convention over the long weekend, leaving Perry in charge. Which means no busting. As long as they're safe, Perry's perfectly fine with what the boys create.

If he's ever there to see the creations. He's always getting called off for work. 

Candace pulls her mug out of the cupboard, adds a teabag, and sets it next to Perry's, waiting for the kettle to boil. She could use the caffeine.

Stacy texts her back, so she sits down at the table to answer. After she sends the message, she puts her head down on the table. It's too early for anything to happen.

Perry sits down across from her, the bowl making a soft thump against the wood. He snaps his fingers to get her attention. 

Candace pries one eye open. "mmm-yeah?"

You should eat.

She shrugs. "After tea."

Suit yourself. 

Candace lays her head back on the table. It's still way too early to think about anything.

Perry starts coughing. Candace raises an eyebrow, still not picking her head up off the table. He's been sick since her freshman year, you'd think he'd be fine by now. Or at least that he'd see a doctor. It's kind of weird.

Eh, he's always been weird. He travels all over the place for work. He says he's a sort of special cop, but never wants to talk about his job. He doesn't talk, only makes that weird chattering noise. And he's always really weird about those Hanahaki soap operas, even though they're Candace's favorite.

Still, the cough is rather strange. 

Candace opens one eye just in time to see Perry spit an entire white rose flecked with blood into the palm of his hand. 

Now fully awake, she watches as he makes a face, gets up, throws the rose into the garbage can under the sink, and starts to wash his hands, unaware of Candace's staring. 

Well, that makes sense. 

Sort of. There are still a lot of things wrong with this. 

Now that she's awake, she might as well eat breakfast. She stands up and moves to the cupboard, getting a bowl out. Setting the bowl down with a purposeful clank (it's never a good idea to startle uncle Perry), Candace turns to get the milk out of the fridge."So when were you going to tell us you had Hanahaki?"

Perry turns around, surprise painted on his face. Candace continues. "Seriously. That was an entire flower. How long have you been hiding this?"

He sighs. Almost two years. Candace gasps. Two years and she never suspected a thing? That was his mysterious sickness? "Who is it?"

Just someone I work with. 

"And you never thought to tell us."

I told your parents.

Candace pours milk into the bowl. "I guess that's something. Are you going to confess?"

He looks to the backyard, where Phineas and Ferb are starting to build, and shakes his head. I'm getting it removed in three weeks. 

Candace gapes. Removed? After two years of pain and suffering and blood covered roses? "You're just going to give up?" she asks. 

Perry shrugs and turns off the tap. He's not interested in me, what else can I do? 

"He might be. You never know." Perry raises an eyebrow as he sits back down at the table. "I mean, if Jeremy and I can get together, you and your crush can too," Candace continues. 

Life isn't a romance novel. Sometimes it just doesn't work out.

"Have you even tried?"

Like I said, he's not interested.

"I hate to suggest this, but maybe the boys could help out?"

No.

"Why not? I bet they could make your crush have feelings for you."

If it's forced, it would make it even worse.

"It's worth a shot, right?"

No, it's not.

"Really?"

Coughing up flowers isn't fun or cute. He grimaces. It's actually pretty painful.

"You're really no fun."

See, this is why I didn't want to tell anybody. At Candace's affronted look, he continues. I'm an adult, I can deal with my own feelings. If that means getting rid of them, so be it. End of story.

"But-but-but I could help too!"

Perry narrows his eyes. End of story, Candace.

Candace pours her cereal into the milk. "Fine, whatever."

Look, I know you want to help, but I'd prefer to get through the next few weeks without dying.

Candace's eyes go wide. She'd completely forgotten that people could die from Hanahaki. Once they start coughing up full flowers, they've got only a few months left without intervention. "Oh," she says, her voice now small and meek. 

It's scary, I know. Trust me when I say the surgery is the best option. 

The kettle starts to whistle, so Perry takes it off the stove and pours the hot water into their mugs. Candace sits down at the table and starts to eat. "So there's really nothing else you can do?"

Nothing I can do at this point without making it worse. I suppose if he liked me back then it would be different, but I can't influence that.

A lightbulb goes off in Candace's head. Maybe uncle Perry can't ask this guy about it...but she can. She can convince this guy that Perry would be the best boyfriend ever!

"Tell me about this guy." She'll need some information if she wants to find him. 

Well, Perry says, handing Candace her mug, he's got brown hair, blue eyes, and he's about six foot two, although he slouches. 

Perry's watch goes off, and Candace groans internally. He always has to go to work at the worst times. "What's his name?"

For a brief moment, Perry looks conflicted. Heinz Doofenshmirtz, he signs. 

"Doofenshmirtz like the mayor?"

Perry nods, drinking most of his tea in one gulp. I have to leave. 

"Evil never rests, I know." Perry smiles. "Don't worry, I'll make sure nothing explodes while you're gone."

Perry smiles. See you later.

Candace nods and waves. As soon as Perry is in the garage, she puts her bowl of cereal in the sink and darts up the stairs. She grabs her purse out of her room and puts her phone and earbuds in it. She's about to go back down the stairs when she gets another idea. 

She has a whole lot of pictures of Jeremy- and she didn't even have Hanahaki. Uncle Perry has to have a picture of his crush somewhere. That will help narrow down the search.

Carefully, she pulls her Ducky Momo 33rd Anniversary Commemorative lock pick out of her purse and picks the lock on the door to his room. She feels a little weird, but this is a love or death situation. 

The lock opens with a click, and she opens the door. 

The room is about what she expected. Neat, for the most part. There's a stack of cheesy romance novels on the bedside table, a bookmark in one. On his desk, there's a tall stack of paperwork. Several papers are stamped with Classified in red ink, but Candace ignores them. She has other things to look for. 

She opens the top drawer of the desk. Pens, sticky notes, and paper clips. The next drawer down holds envelopes, a Classified stamp, and a red ink pad. 

The bottom drawer is locked. Once again, her Ducky Momo lock pick comes in handy. 

In the drawer is what looks like a grappling hook, a strange red disk, and a green box. 

Candace picks up the grappling hook and the disk and puts them on the desk. Gingerly opening the box, she finds it stuffed full of immaculately cleaned white roses, with a few  pictures along the sides. 

She looks at the pictures first. Each one has uncle Perry with the same guy. A slouching man with brown hair and blue eyes, dressed in a lab coat. 

This must be the guy. Heinz Doofenshmirtz. 

But where would she find him? The only connection she knows is that uncle Perry works with him. 

That's it. She'll just follow uncle Perry to work. Candace puts one of the pictures and a few of the fresher roses into her purse. On second thought, she adds the grappling hook and the red disk. 

She can hear Perry's motorcycle revving in the garage. She closes the drawer, then runs out of Perry's room and down the stairs.

Candace opens the garage door and wheels her bike out. Thank god for Phineas and Ferb outfitting it with rocket boosters, she'll need them to catch up with Perry's motorcycle. 

She only makes it to the end of the driveway before she hears a very loud, scary sounding bang come from the backyard. Despite her new mission, her boys-busting senses tell her to investigate.

Nearly trampling Baljeet, she dashes to the gate and throws it open. "What was that?" she demands. 

Phineas grins. "It's our new rivet gun! Isn't it cool?"

"Pfft. It's a rivet gun. How cool can it be?"

Ferb merely rivets another piece of metal, producing a similar bang. "Very cool, Candace, very cool," Phineas says. 

"Whatever." Candace rolls her eyes and jogs back around the front of the house to her bike. She pedals down to the first stop sign before she realizes that uncle Perry is long gone by now. She'll never be able to catch up to him. 

Maybe there's another way she can find his crush. How many Doofenshmirtzes are there in Danville? This Heinz might be related to Mayor Doofenshmirtz somehow. 

Downtown Danville, here she comes. 

~~~

Candace makes it to City Hall in twenty minutes. She locks her bike to the rack outside and walks in. 

"How may I help you?" the bored-looking receptionist asks. 

"I'd like to talk to Mayor Doofenshmirtz?" Candace asks. 

"Name?"

"Candace Flynn."

"He'll be free in a few minutes. You can wait here." The receptionist points to a small waiting area. 

"Thank you," Candace says, and she sits down. 

What a day. And it's not even close to being over. 

Her phone rings. It's Jeremy. She picks it up right away. 

"Hey Jeremy," she says. 

"Hey Candace," he says. "I was wondering if you wanted to hang out later today?"

Candace thinks. Yeah, hanging out with Jeremy would be great, but she has a mission. "Sorry, but I'm doing something for uncle Perry today. I might be able to do something tomorrow, though."

Jeremy laughs. "You're such a good niece. See you tomorrow?"

"See you tomorrow."

"Love you."

"Love you." Candace ends the call with a click. 

Vanessa Doofenshmirtz walks in the door. "Hey Candace."

"Hi Vanessa," Candace says. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh, I wanted to talk to uncle Roger. He's probably busy, though. What about you?"

"I was waiting to do the same thing. Waiting to talk to the Mayor, at least. He's not my uncle."

"Really." Candace nods. "I don't know if he'll talk to you, he's always crazy busy."

Candace sighs. Maybe this lead won't work out after all. 

Except...Vanessa Doofenshmirtz. Related to Roger. Is she related to Heinz?

"So why are you here?" Vanessa asks.

Candace pulls one of the pictures out of her purse, as well as one of the roses. "My uncle Perry," she points at Perry, "has Hanahaki for this guy," she points at the other man, "Heinz Doofenshmirtz. I wanted to ask the mayor, since they have the same last name. Do you know him?"

"Know him?" Vanessa laughs. "He's my dad."

Candace's eyes grow wide. "Your dad? That's perfect! Do you know if your dad likes my uncle? Like, like-likes him?"

Vanessa looks at the flower in Candace's hand. "I'm pretty sure he does, but you'd have to ask him directly."

Another lead. Perfect. "Where is your dad?"

Vanessa shrugs. "Probably at Blueprint Heaven. He's kind of an inventor."

"Thanks so much."

"I should warn you though, he's kind of cold. He'll probably just shrug you off."

Candace shrugs. "I'm not worried."

"Okay, then good luck."

Candace jumps out of her seat. "Thanks, Vanessa. See you later." She stuffs the photo and the rose back in her purse, then walks out the door. She unlocks her bike from the rack and hops on it. Thankfully, Blueprint Heaven isn't too far. 

Her legs are burning by the time she makes it to the blueprint store. She peeks inside, watching as a slouching man with brown hair, wearing a lab coat, purchases a few blueprints. That must be him. 

As the man leaves the shop, she puts out her arm.

"Hey, watch it, kid," the man says.

"I have something to ask you," Candace says. "Are you Heinz Doofenshmirtz?"

"That's Doctor Doofenshmirtz to you. And if you're selling those Fireside Girl cupcakes, I already bought two dozen."

Candace rolls her eyes and pulls the photo out of her purse. "I want to ask you about this picture."

The man pulls out a pair of reading glasses and studies the picture. "What do you want to ask me?"

Candace points at Perry. "Do you like-like this guy?" 

"That's a rather strange question to ask, isn't it?"

"Danville's a strange place."

Dr. Doofenshmirtz shrugs. "You got me there. Y'know, he looks like this other guy I know." He points at the picture. "What's his name?"

"Perry," Candace says. 

"Really? I, uh, work with a guy named Perry. Sort of. We're like, work rivals. He's really nice though, even if he doesn't talk much." 

Candace's Busting Senses start to tingle. "I wonder if they're the same guy?"

Dr. Doofenshmirtz hums. "Maybe. It'd be just like him to be all mysterious and suave and all that." He pauses to cough into the arm of his lab coat. When he pulls his arm away, the sleeve is red and covered in petals. "Oh, come on, I just washed this one."

"You have Hanahaki?" Candace asks. "Can I see the flowers?" 

He looks at Candace funny. "I guess? They're roses, white ones." He wipes one of the petals off on his lab coat and shows it to her. "You know, I googled the meaning, and they mean young love and innocence and all that stuff. I mean, it's like the last thing I'd relate with him."

"So your soulmate is your work rival," Candace clarifies.

"Awkward, right? Man, the universe really has it out to get me."

Candace merely nods along. This...inventor has the same flower as uncle Perry. Another strange coincidence. Or is it? Is there another Heinz Doofenshmirtz in the Tri-State area?

"Listen, it was great talking with you, but I kinda have to go to work now, so..."

Candace nods. "Nice meeting you."

"Likewise," Dr. Doofenshmirtz says, and he walks off down the road. 

Hmm. Perry has Hanahaki for a guy named Heinz Doofenshmirtz that he works with. This Heinz (sorry, doctor) Doofenshmirtz has Hanahaki for a guy named Perry that he's work rivals with. Vanessa told her that her dad Heinz likes Perry, and Perry's got a picture of him with his crush Heinz.

They've got to be the same guys. 

And they must be pining over each other. 

What idiots. Uncle Perry said this was nothing like a romance novel, but it practically is.

Candace watches as Dr. Doofenshmirtz walks into the apartment building shaped like Ferb's head. The one that says Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated on its front...wait, what?

The final pieces click together. Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated. Perry always says "Evil never rests" when he runs off to work. This guy mentioned that he and Perry are work rivals. Could Perry be fighting this guy for work?

No wonder Perry didn't want to get with his crush. If they're on opposite sides of the great Good and Evil debate, dynamics change.

This just got a whole lot more interesting. 

Candace is still getting them together. Secret relationships can work. 

She sizes up the apartment building. A person on a jetpack flies up to the balcony, landing and disappearing from view. That must be Perry. She runs down the street and tugs on the door of the building.

Damn it, it's one of those buildings where the residents have to buzz people in. She doesn't have time to wait around for someone to let her in. There's got to be another way.

She looks into her purse. The red disk says "Standard Issue Glider" on the bottom, with a button. Good to know, but that won't work right now. 

No, the thing she needs right now is the grappling hook. She's afraid of heights, but this will have to work. She's Candace Flynn, she can do whatever she puts her mind to. If that means grappling up the side of a forty-story building, so be it. It's worth it for love. She steps back, pulls the hook out of her purse, and aims it at the balcony. 

Thankfully, she's still wearing her bike helmet. She fires the grappling hook towards the balcony. Once it sticks, she presses the button on the side and holds on for dear life. The building flashes by in a rush of purple, then she's landing on the balcony with a thud.

It seems that nobody inside noticed her stunt. Dr. Doofenshmirtz has his back to the balcony, and uncle Perry (in a 1940's fedora) is stuck in a net. 

Yep, Good and Evil are clashing in this apartment-slash-lab.

She ducks behind a strange-looking planter. Thankfully, nobody's seen her. She needs a plan. 

Maybe she could just go up to them and tell them about each other? No, that wouldn't work. 

Throw them a paper airplane? She doesn't really have any paper, except for the photo. 

Hmm. What about the roses? Both of them have the same flower, that might spur the connection along.

She peeks around the corner. Uncle Perry and Dr. Doofenshmirtz are fighting now, sparring as if they've done it a thousand times before. Candace bites down on the inside of her cheek to keep herself from cheering. 

Uncle Perry lands one more kick, then throws his hat across the room. It hits a big red button on the side of a machine, and the machine promptly explodes. Candace ducks to protect herself from the flying bits of metal. 

However, instead of leaving, uncle Perry goes to help Dr. Doofenshmirtz up. They move to another part of the lab, where a small kitchen is. Dr. Doofenshmirtz pours them both glasses of water, handing one to uncle Perry.

Now's the time.

Candace carefully sneaks out of her hiding place. She pulls one of the roses out of her purse, aims, and throws. As soon as the flower leaves her hand, she ducks back behind the wall. After a second, she peeks back around the corner. 

Both uncle Perry and Dr. Doofenshmirtz have tried to cover up the rose, thinking it's their own. They both look away from each other. Even from across the way, Candace can tell how flustered Perry's gotten.

She watches as uncle Perry says something, signing much faster than usual. She thinks she catches the signs for "Hanahaki", "love" and "rose", although it's hard to tell from this far away.

He finishes what he has to say and drops his hands into his lap. For twelve seconds (vintage Ducky Momo Awkward Silence Timer), nothing happens. 

Then Dr. Doofenshmirtz grabs uncle Perry's tie, pulls him in, and kisses him. 

It's all Candace can do to hold back a squeal. 

When they part, neither make eye contact for six and a half seconds. Then Perry signs something, making Dr. Doofenshmirtz laugh. Perry leans up and places a short kiss on Dr. Doofenshmirtz's lips. Both men grin broadly.

Yeah, uncle Perry's going to be alright. 

Candace pulls another one of the roses out of her purse and throws it at the couple, not bothering to hide this time. This one bounces off the back of Perry's head, causing him to look over at the balcony.  

"Enjoy your romance novel ending," she shouts, a broad smile nearly splitting her face in two. Perry gets up from the counter and starts over towards her, a look of shock painted over his face. Candace merely pulls the red disk out of her purse, presses the button on the bottom, and watches as it expands into a red hang glider. 

She winks and salutes, then kicks off the ledge to glide off the balcony. 

As she glides over Danville, she grins. And uncle Perry said it wouldn't work out. Well, she just proved him wrong. 

Something on the glider starts to beep. A tinny voice emanating from a hidden speaker starts to talk. "Warning. Unauthorized use of OWCA tech. Returning to base."

Well, it was fun while it lasted. Candace attempts to let go of the glider as it nears the ground, but cuffs clamp down around her wrists. A rocket engine pops out of the back and steers her in an unknown direction.

Fifteen minutes later, she finds herself in an underground bunker, being stared down by a man with an intimidating mustache and a scrawny intern with a camera. Uncle Perry stands in the background, his hands in his pockets and the beat-up fedora from earlier on his head.

The man with the mustache starts to speak. "Do you know what you've done?'

"I just saved uncle Perry's love life?" she guesses. Behind the intern, Perry shakes his head. Candace can see the amused smile on his face. 

The mustached man sighs. "Not quite. Your uncle Perry is actually a top OWCA agent, and as such, his identity must be kept completely secret." Candace considers this. A secret agent, huh? That certainly explains the grappling hook and the hang glider. 

Man, being a secret agent would be so cool. 

"Candace Flynn," as you have compromised Agent P's position, your memory is going to be wiped."

"What, there's nothing else you can do?"

The intern speaks up. "We could relocate him to another continent, and you'd never see him again." Candace's eyes go wide, and she shakes her head. "Yeah, we figured you'd like the memory wipe option better."

"Anything else you'd like to say, Ms. Flynn?" the mustached man asks. 

Candace thinks for a second. "I don't know, I think uncle Perry owes me something."

For a brief second, Perry looks confused. Then he smiles knowingly. Thank you, Candace. 

"You're welcome. Now, hit me."

The green ray hits her square in the face, and her mind goes fuzzy.

~~~

Candace steps off the bus. Finally, the last day of school. Phineas and Ferb are throwing a party, and for some odd reason, she doesn't even want to bust them for it. 

(That reason has nothing to do with the fact that Jeremy will be there. Nope, nothing at all.)

She runs up the stairs to her backpack down in her room, then runs back out into the backyard. 

Phineas and Ferb have already set up rides, food, and of course, live music. Perks of middle school- they get out earlier.

Already, most of the neighborhood has shown up. It's starting to look like it's going to end up being a big block party. 

Under the tree in the backyard, uncle Perry and some guy in a lab coat are talking. This must be his boyfriend. When Perry sees Candace, he waves her over. 

Candace, I'd like you to meet someone very special to me.

[captainelsaeverdeen]

I like me better when I’m with you ~Part 4.

Hello my bumblebees! I think we’re in the middle of this au so there would be four parts more! I already have plans for another series but let’s just end this one to write another. Maybe for a short period of time my work would be uploaded on my seperate imagines blog but if that hapenns, I’ll tell you where to find it! Let me know if you like it! Song: “Your Love” by The Outfield. 

summary: based on ‘To All The Boys I Loved Before’. Y/N Henderson used to be in love a couple of times. This time she’s sure it’s something bigger, something serious. Her love for Jonathan Byers is unlimited, untamed and endless. At least she thought so. Read Part 1, Part 2 and Part 3 here.

-

The fries were hot, too hot to grab them with your fingers. Despite that, Robin grabbed a few carefully in two fingers and put them in her mouth. You waited impatiently for what she would say, tapping your foot under the table. Your friend sighed.

“I have a solution” she said, trying to reach the salt on the other side of the table. “Thank goodness” you sighed. Robin looked at you with a serious face. “It involves fire”. “Absolutely not” you've resisted firmly. Robin rolled her eyes over and started eating.

“If you'd come to me earlier, I'd tell you you shouldn't have done that” she murmured, drinking a sip of her chocolate milkshake. The bar was filled to the brim with kids like you who hated school dinners and saved money for fast food. “But since tragedy already happened and you had to make a quick decision without my generous intervention, we have... you, in fact, have no choice but to survive these two months. After all, the contract was signed. You must cure yourself of unrequited love.”

“I'm sure it won't be that bad. Steve... Steve was quite nice today”

“Because he is nice” Robin rolled her eyes again. “That's why girls stick to him like a fly to the syrup. One smile, and they're already dreaming about rubbing his long hair. Of all the boys at school, you had to tell him that he's your boyfriend?” ”Maybe it would be better if I said I meant Tommy?” you raised your eyebrow. “I would've strangled you. You wouldn't even get turned on because I'd only do it to really kill you” Robin snorted. You grabbed a handful of fries from your plate and threw them into her blouse, leaving fat stains on her. The waitress sent you a warning look. Robin opened her mouth wide.

“You're lucky there wasn't ketchup on them. What do you have to do, as Mrs. Harrington?” “Not much. I've pledged to come to his matches and of course his parties. He has the right to drive me to school and he'll be spending movie nights with us.”

“Sounds good” Robin leaned her head on her hand. “His car is insane. Anything else?” “Well... he's gonna have lunch with us” you said slowly. Robin moaned, her head leaned against the worn couch she was sitting on. “I don't know if I can survive this. I'll try to look at the food, not the two of you. If you start kissing when I eat, I swear to God...”. “We're not gonna” you answered quickly by taking a sip of your drink. “I told him he can't kiss me”. 

“Like... no kissing at all? At all? Zero? Nothing?” Robin squealed her eyes wide. “I've never had a boyfriend before. I wish that... all my first times, first dates, first kisses wouldn't be fake”. “Maybe they won't be if you fall in love with him” Robin shrugged her shoulder. You twisted your head. “I'm not gonna fall in love. I don't know if I can cure from Jonathan. But even if, me and Steve... it's never gonna happen. We don't fit together”. 

“Never say never. Maybe you'll like it so much that you'll stop pretending in a while”.

You turned your head to the window, looking at the world outside the diner. There was this risk. Old feelings could come out, Steve could dig them out of your heart and brutally re-activate them. But even if he did, would he feel the same? Of course not. Each of you has a purpose in this. You don't want Jonathan to find out the truth, and Steve wants to show people that his breakup with Nancy is long overdue. It's just business. There's no room for feelings in business.

"How do I keep getting into these situations?" you sighned. Robin slipped some fries under your nose, almost forcibly stuffed it in your mouth. She laughed so much that she shaked the table, and a little bit of her milkshake landed on your shirt. You opened your mouth wide, watching your friend roll out of laughter. "Two years of friendship and I still don't know," she said, wiping the tears caused by laughing in her face.

-

Dustin was always distracted, but in the morning he passed himself off. His hair was in disarray, he walked around the house looking for books, clothes, or money while you or Mom made him a second breakfast. One minute he was in the kitchen and the next he was upstairs because he forgot his hat. Each day of the week.

When he finally sat down at the table to eat his cereal, he looked at his watch.

“Son of a bitch. If I don't leave right now, I'll be late. I'm gonna eat something at school”. “Eat your breakfast” you puted him back in the chair. You gave him a spoon in his hand, biting your lower lip. “We have a ride today”.

“Ride?” he asked surprised. “Mom didn't go to work today?” “She did, but I don't mean mom. Someone else will take us”. “You mean Jonathan?” your brother was so emotional that he didn't have to ride his bike that he completely forgot about his breakfast, while you were chewing lazy your toast looking out the window. “Oh no... it's Robin. I don't get in if it's Robin, the boys are already waiting for me...”.

“Sit down” you pushed him back in the chair again. “It's not Robin, it's just... just wait”. “Wait for my own death? I don't think so” Dustin snorted when Steve's red BMW finally showed up on your street. You grabbed your backpack and your brother and you fell out, hearing the sounds of song of The Outfield from a distance. The boy got out of the car in full sunshine, with blushing cheeks, partly hidden behind sunglasses. He rested one of his hands on his hip, looking at you and Dustin, who desperately tried to close his mouth open out of surprise.

“Ready?” Steve asked impatiently. You were the first to run off the porch, running into the car and opening the back door for your brother. Dustin walked slowly into the car and got inside. “Since when do you drive Y/N to school?” Before Steve could put the keys in the ignition, Dustin leaned forward and the seatbelt was probably sticking in his neck. “You're friends again? You're dating? Is Y/N your girlfriend? Y/N, is Steve your boyfriend?”

“Shut up and lower down, because your face is all I see in the mirror” Steve sighned. You stopped laughing by leaning your forehead against the window glass when brown-eyed boy pulled your ear gently. Enough gently that it didn't hurt, but enough to push you away from the door to turn around.

“Don't breath on that, it's expensive” the boy joked, moving off the driveway. “More expensive than your glasses?” Dustin snorted, already pulling sandwiches out of his backpack. “It should have been your second, not your first breakfast” you raised just one brow. “I didn't get to eat the first one. I was too dazzled by the glow of that red paint” he said, looking around the inside of the car in admiration. “Why are we going with you?” “Steve... Steve suggested yesterday that since he drives every day in the same direction...” “I'm dating your sister” Steve blured out, answering you'r brother's earlier questions. Dustin's face was smiling wide, revealing his braces. He happily hit the back of your chair, sticking his little fists in your back.

“Holy shit!” Dustin whistled loudly into your ear. “Our little girl is grown up!” “I hate you” you looked at Steve with a killer eye, and he just shrugged his shoulder. “Why? I'm adorable” he snorted. “He should know. That's how his morning's gonna look every day from now”.

“Don't shit” Dustin's eyes went out. “Everyday? Troy will literally break out of jealousy”. “That's what it's all about. You don't even know how the girls will react to you when you show up in a car like this. And in this company” Steve smiled proudly. A few minutes away and rocking your heads to his favorite pieces on the tape later you found yourself under the middle school building, where usually only parents would come, or the school bus. Steve looked outside with a disgust. “What's the word for that infestation of tiny creatures over there?” “Those are children. That's a school” you explained, blinking slowly. Dustin got off with looking like a ray of sunshine, he said something that sounded like goodbye and ran to his friends, looking at you with delight.

“I thought you told him” Steve shrugged his shoulder. “He would have guessed”. ”I know, but... he's in love with you enough anyway. I don't want him to be sorry afterwards when... you know” you said, like you didn't care. Once you break up. Someday it will happen, and Dustin will be devastated when the red car and Steve are gone. He was his idol. 

“Woah, slow down, slow down. We just started. We have a wonderful two months ahead of us. My company will light up your life. You'll see. And the kid... kid will always be important to me, you know? I don't know what will have to happen to change it” Steve said,  drumming his fingers into the wheel. You smiled at yourself. Guess every girl would want her brother and boyfriend to get along, right? The two most important men in her life...

Except Steve's not your real boyfriend. Why did it get so hard to remember every step of the way? Forgetting it is dangerous.

People's looks are an integral part of going to school, so over time you can get used to them, but certainly not now. Not when literally everyone is staring at you with a laser in their eyes, when Steve embraces you with his shoulder, leaning in your ear from time to time to say something funny. His hands were everywhere. Of course not literally, but there was no way to go next to him without holding his hand, not to feel his arm on your waist. Physical contact was a priority if all of this was going to work.

“You're doing pretty good” Steve said when you got to your locker. “I'm impressed”. “Thank you. Given that I don't have any experience, it means a lot to me” you said, hiding books in your locker. “I still think it's crazy, but I think it works, so...” “Crazy would think it wouldn't work. You'll see that Jonathan...” Steve broke off half the sentence. All of a sudden, the pictures and stickers inside your locker have become interesting to him. “Jonathan what?” you asked quietly, pressing the book to your chest. Steve coughed and took off his sunglasses, cleaning them with his T-shirt.

“Nancy is a great girl.  But if he had looked around earlier, he would have found one, too” he murmured under his breath, without raising his eyes. He put his dark glasses on your head, and when they fell on your eyes, he laughed sincerely, correcting them again. He tried to get serious and pointed his finger at you, although the smile was still lurking in the corner of his mouth. “If you lose them, if you destroy them or scratch them... you're ass is grass, Henderson. Is that clear?”

“Of course” you admited quickly, not wanting to upset him. Steve smiles brightly and leaned down to kiss your cheek. You heard the girls sighing behind you. Becky was standing by her locker too, clenching her hands firmly on her black pen, seeing the two of you. Steve stood back and pinched you in the nose. “I'll see you later?” he asked, and you nod your head slowly. He left his way (without his  glasses this time) but he turned around to wave to you at the end of the hallway. Your heart jumped a few times, banging on your ribs. That boy was so beautiful. And for a moment... for a few weeks, he could only be yours.

You twisted your head to drive the intrusive thoughts out of your head again and turned to go to your class, but you couldn't go on. You were blocked by Nancy.

-

Bathrooms in schools are not the best place to talk, but the ladies' bathrooms at least were cleaner than the boys'. Nancy sat with her legs crossed on cold tiles on the floor under the sinks, drawing tiny hearts with a pink marker on her notebook, listening to your story.

“I'm sorry that I only told Jonathan. He found out by coincidence” you said, suddenly feeling ashamed. A gentle smile appeared on your friend's face, the marker froze over the white paper. “I hope you're not angry at me”. “I'm not” Nancy twisted her head so hard that her curls covered her face for a moment. “For not telling me and for being with him. I wish you both the best. Steve is a wonderful guy. And you are a marvelous girl! I was just hoping you could give me some spicy details”.

“Spicy... details?” you repeated slowly, praying for someone to go to the toilet. “Oh, don't be shy” Nancy kneeled down on her knees, leaning her hand against the sink above her to keep her balance. “How did that happen? Jonathan said you invited him on a date, so you have to tell me what happened. What were you doing? You guys already kissed each other, right?”

Details. How could you both be so stupid to not set a common version? If you say something else to Nancy... and he'll say something different to his mates, you'll bring suspicion on yourself. The school's gonna start to be filled with false rumors. Think like Steve. What would Steve think...

“It's just... somehow work out, you know?” you shrugged your shoulder innocently. You gave her a fake smile, feeling your thoughts trying to get ahead of each other on the highway in your brain. “We talked for a while during his training, so I suggested we can have lunch together the next day... and since then we're inseparable”.

“You don't even know how happy I am” Nancy squeezed your hand tight. Her small fingers have been warmly wrapped around your pale hand. “Since I started dating Jonathan... I was afraid you'd feel uncomfortable with us. Although you assured me that it's not like that, I know how you must have felt sometimes. That doesn't mean we didn't want to spend time with you, don't get me wrong. I just... I didn't want you to be alone. Now I don't have to worry anymore, right?”

“Yeah” you smiled at her.  Nancy was always there for you, and she always wanted the best for you. Lying to her is not right. But if she doesn't find out about Jonathan being more than friend that to you... you won't break her heart. It'll be worth it. Your own misery, for the happiness of a friend. Life is constant sacrifice. And you don't always have to act selfishly. You'll make sure Nancy is happy. You'll make sure she's happy like no one else.

-

“Y/N, someone's ringing the doorbell!” Dustin screamed from his room, interrupting you from reading the book. You put it on your stomach. Mr. Darcy was just about to confess his love to Elizabeth Bennet, and there's no way you're gonna get out of bed until he does. If Mom was at work and her friends knew about it, it was definitely someone to your brother. Or to you.

“Why can't you open the door?” you yelled, taking your legs off the wall. “I'm a little busy here! Just open the door!” your brother shouted. Mr Darcy had to wait for your reading to move forward. You came down the stairs, almost stepping on your cat, who, strangely enough, liked the lowest step. You opened the door wide, seeing Steve on the other side. He was wearing a black jacket, dark jeans, and his hair was perfectly up. If Mr Darcy had existed in the '80s, he'd probably look like him. But you're not Elizabeth Bennet, so you shouldn't allow yourself unnecessary comparisons.

“We supposed to see each other?” you asked, surprised, unable to take your eyes off his. “No, but I didn't have your number, so I thought I'd come. Can I come in?” “Sure” you smiled, leading him inside. God, when was he last here? You remembered that his favorite hiding place was between the wall and your mom's chair. That he once couldn't reach the shelf in the fridge with the chocolate milk on it. Now he was taller than the fridge. He watched everything with curiosity, as if he wanted to see how much of what he remembers had changed. You didn't know he saw the biggest change in you. He remembered when you once hit your head so hard on the stair railing that a big purple bruise stayed on your skin for weeks. Now there was no trace of it. Even if there was, it wouldn't matter. Looking at you, in a striped shirt with flushed cheeks, Steve thought you were just adorable.

“As I was saying” Steve leaned lazy against the table top. He took an apple from a fruit bowl and tossed it a couple of times in his hand. “I didn't have your number, and my teammate Evan is having a party today. I was gonna go, but... but if you can't, or don't want to, I'll understand”. “Why can't you go alone?” you asked, genuinely surprised. Steve stopped tossing the apple.

“Because, Henderson, you're my girlfriend. I'm not going anywhere without you” he said. The corners of your mouth turned up. “I don't know if that's a good idea. Isn't it too early to introduce me to your friends?” you asked. Of course it wasn't too early. But the vision of Steve coming with you to the party, drinking alcohol with him, leaning lazy on his chest while sitting on the couch literally terrified you. “I don't know if Jonathan's going there, but parties are in the contract. A deal is a deal, Henderson. I'll wait until you get changed”. 

“Okay... but I can't be home late” you said firmly, going up the stairs. “What do you mean by saying 'late'? You need to be a little more specific”. “Midnight. We'll be home at 12:30 pm, and I'll go to bed at 1:30 am. So we have to go out at midnight” you smiled proud of your own calculations. Steve twisted his head with disbelief. A corner of his mouth lifted. How could he disagree? He's gonna bring you here at midnight, even if he's gonna go over the speed limit to do it. 

“Let it be, Cinderella. Before your carriage turns into pumpkin, you'll be home”. “I thought your car was red, not orange” you joked, running up the stairs. You stopped halfway up and turned to the boy who bit into the apple. Mews only now turned her attention to him, raising her head from over her thick fur.

“Are you legal to drink yet?” you asked, squinting your eyes. Steve moved the fruit away from his mouth. “You're serious? The fake ID in my wallet says I am” he said, raising his shoulders. “I can work with that” you nodded your head and ran upstairs. Steve laughed quietly, unable to be not surprised. He and Y/N Henderson are going to a party together. This is going to be an interesting night.

Taglist: @krazykatkay456​ @mochminnie​ @the-almond-dinger​ @ghostineleven​ @art-flirt @sydzygy​ @queen1054​

[stevenismyboy]

I like me better when I’m with you ~Part 4.

This fic was posted first on my main blog which is captainelsaeverdeen. I started my own blog only for my imagines and I moved all my work from there to here. Hope you guys would enjoy my work! <3 

Hello my bumblebees! I think we’re in the middle of this au so there would be four parts more! I already have plans for another series but let’s just end this one to write another. Let me know if you like it! Song: “Your Love” by The Outfield.

summary: based on ‘To All The Boys I Loved Before’. Y/N Henderson used to be in love a couple of times. This time she’s sure it’s something bigger, something serious. Her love for Jonathan Byers is unlimited, untamed and endless. At least she thought so. You can find my Masterlist here.

-

The fries were hot, too hot to grab them with your fingers. Despite that, Robin grabbed a few carefully in two fingers and put them in her mouth. You waited impatiently for what she would say, tapping your foot under the table. Your friend sighed.

“I have a solution” she said, trying to reach the salt on the other side of the table. “Thank goodness” you sighed. Robin looked at you with a serious face. “It involves fire”. “Absolutely not” you’ve resisted firmly. Robin rolled her eyes over and started eating.

“If you’d come to me earlier, I’d tell you you shouldn’t have done that” she murmured, drinking a sip of her chocolate milkshake. The bar was filled to the brim with kids like you who hated school dinners and saved money for fast food. “But since tragedy already happened and you had to make a quick decision without my generous intervention, we have… you, in fact, have no choice but to survive these two months. After all, the contract was signed. You must cure yourself of unrequited love.”

“I’m sure it won’t be that bad. Steve… Steve was quite nice today”

“Because he is nice” Robin rolled her eyes again. “That’s why girls stick to him like a fly to the syrup. One smile, and they’re already dreaming about rubbing his long hair. Of all the boys at school, you had to tell him that he’s your boyfriend?” ”Maybe it would be better if I said I meant Tommy?” you raised your eyebrow. “I would’ve strangled you. You wouldn’t even get turned on because I’d only do it to really kill you” Robin snorted. You grabbed a handful of fries from your plate and threw them into her blouse, leaving fat stains on her. The waitress sent you a warning look. Robin opened her mouth wide.

“You’re lucky there wasn’t ketchup on them. What do you have to do, as Mrs. Harrington?” “Not much. I’ve pledged to come to his matches and of course his parties. He has the right to drive me to school and he’ll be spending movie nights with us.”

“Sounds good” Robin leaned her head on her hand. “His car is insane. Anything else?” “Well… he’s gonna have lunch with us” you said slowly. Robin moaned, her head leaned against the worn couch she was sitting on. “I don’t know if I can survive this. I’ll try to look at the food, not the two of you. If you start kissing when I eat, I swear to God…”. “We’re not gonna” you answered quickly by taking a sip of your drink. “I told him he can’t kiss me”.

“Like… no kissing at all? At all? Zero? Nothing?” Robin squealed her eyes wide. “I’ve never had a boyfriend before. I wish that… all my first times, first dates, first kisses wouldn’t be fake”. “Maybe they won’t be if you fall in love with him” Robin shrugged her shoulder. You twisted your head. “I’m not gonna fall in love. I don’t know if I can cure from Jonathan. But even if, me and Steve… it’s never gonna happen. We don’t fit together”.

“Never say never. Maybe you’ll like it so much that you’ll stop pretending in a while”.

You turned your head to the window, looking at the world outside the diner. There was this risk. Old feelings could come out, Steve could dig them out of your heart and brutally re-activate them. But even if he did, would he feel the same? Of course not. Each of you has a purpose in this. You don’t want Jonathan to find out the truth, and Steve wants to show people that his breakup with Nancy is long overdue. It’s just business. There’s no room for feelings in business.

“How do I keep getting into these situations?” you sighned. Robin slipped some fries under your nose, almost forcibly stuffed it in your mouth. She laughed so much that she shaked the table, and a little bit of her milkshake landed on your shirt. You opened your mouth wide, watching your friend roll out of laughter. “Two years of friendship and I still don’t know,” she said, wiping the tears caused by laughing in her face.

-

Dustin was always distracted, but in the morning he passed himself off. His hair was in disarray, he walked around the house looking for books, clothes, or money while you or Mom made him a second breakfast. One minute he was in the kitchen and the next he was upstairs because he forgot his hat. Each day of the week.

When he finally sat down at the table to eat his cereal, he looked at his watch.

“Son of a bitch. If I don’t leave right now, I’ll be late. I’m gonna eat something at school”. “Eat your breakfast” you puted him back in the chair. You gave him a spoon in his hand, biting your lower lip. “We have a ride today”.

“Ride?” he asked surprised. “Mom didn’t go to work today?” “She did, but I don’t mean mom. Someone else will take us”. “You mean Jonathan?” your brother was so emotional that he didn’t have to ride his bike that he completely forgot about his breakfast, while you were chewing lazy your toast looking out the window. “Oh no… it’s Robin. I don’t get in if it’s Robin, the boys are already waiting for me…”.

“Sit down” you pushed him back in the chair again. “It’s not Robin, it’s just… just wait”. “Wait for my own death? I don’t think so” Dustin snorted when Steve’s red BMW finally showed up on your street. You grabbed your backpack and your brother and you fell out, hearing the sounds of song of The Outfield from a distance. The boy got out of the car in full sunshine, with blushing cheeks, partly hidden behind sunglasses. He rested one of his hands on his hip, looking at you and Dustin, who desperately tried to close his mouth open out of surprise.

“Ready?” Steve asked impatiently. You were the first to run off the porch, running into the car and opening the back door for your brother. Dustin walked slowly into the car and got inside. “Since when do you drive Y/N to school?” Before Steve could put the keys in the ignition, Dustin leaned forward and the seatbelt was probably sticking in his neck. “You’re friends again? You’re dating? Is Y/N your girlfriend? Y/N, is Steve your boyfriend?”

“Shut up and lower down, because your face is all I see in the mirror” Steve sighned. You stopped laughing by leaning your forehead against the window glass when brown-eyed boy pulled your ear gently. Enough gently that it didn’t hurt, but enough to push you away from the door to turn around.

“Don’t breath on that, it’s expensive” the boy joked, moving off the driveway. “More expensive than your glasses?” Dustin snorted, already pulling sandwiches out of his backpack. “It should have been your second, not your first breakfast” you raised just one brow. “I didn’t get to eat the first one. I was too dazzled by the glow of that red paint” he said, looking around the inside of the car in admiration. “Why are we going with you?” “Steve… Steve suggested yesterday that since he drives every day in the same direction…” “I’m dating your sister” Steve blured out, answering you'r brother’s earlier questions. Dustin’s face was smiling wide, revealing his braces. He happily hit the back of your chair, sticking his little fists in your back.

“Holy shit!” Dustin whistled loudly into your ear. “Our little girl is grown up!” “I hate you” you looked at Steve with a killer eye, and he just shrugged his shoulder. “Why? I’m adorable” he snorted. “He should know. That’s how his morning’s gonna look every day from now”.

“Don’t shit” Dustin’s eyes went out. “Everyday? Troy will literally break out of jealousy”. “That’s what it’s all about. You don’t even know how the girls will react to you when you show up in a car like this. And in this company” Steve smiled proudly. A few minutes away and rocking your heads to his favorite pieces on the tape later you found yourself under the middle school building, where usually only parents would come, or the school bus. Steve looked outside with a disgust. “What’s the word for that infestation of tiny creatures over there?” “Those are children. That’s a school” you explained, blinking slowly. Dustin got off with looking like a ray of sunshine, he said something that sounded like goodbye and ran to his friends, looking at you with delight.

“I thought you told him” Steve shrugged his shoulder. “He would have guessed”. ”I know, but… he’s in love with you enough anyway. I don’t want him to be sorry afterwards when… you know” you said, like you didn’t care. Once you break up. Someday it will happen, and Dustin will be devastated when the red car and Steve are gone. He was his idol.

“Woah, slow down, slow down. We just started. We have a wonderful two months ahead of us. My company will light up your life. You’ll see. And the kid… kid will always be important to me, you know? I don’t know what will have to happen to change it” Steve said,  drumming his fingers into the wheel. You smiled at yourself. Guess every girl would want her brother and boyfriend to get along, right? The two most important men in her life…

Except Steve’s not your real boyfriend. Why did it get so hard to remember every step of the way? Forgetting it is dangerous.

People’s looks are an integral part of going to school, so over time you can get used to them, but certainly not now. Not when literally everyone is staring at you with a laser in their eyes, when Steve embraces you with his shoulder, leaning in your ear from time to time to say something funny. His hands were everywhere. Of course not literally, but there was no way to go next to him without holding his hand, not to feel his arm on your waist. Physical contact was a priority if all of this was going to work.

“You’re doing pretty good” Steve said when you got to your locker. “I’m impressed”. “Thank you. Given that I don’t have any experience, it means a lot to me” you said, hiding books in your locker. “I still think it’s crazy, but I think it works, so…” “Crazy would think it wouldn’t work. You’ll see that Jonathan…” Steve broke off half the sentence. All of a sudden, the pictures and stickers inside your locker have become interesting to him. “Jonathan what?” you asked quietly, pressing the book to your chest. Steve coughed and took off his sunglasses, cleaning them with his T-shirt.

“Nancy is a great girl.  But if he had looked around earlier, he would have found one, too” he murmured under his breath, without raising his eyes. He put his dark glasses on your head, and when they fell on your eyes, he laughed sincerely, correcting them again. He tried to get serious and pointed his finger at you, although the smile was still lurking in the corner of his mouth. “If you lose them, if you destroy them or scratch them… you’re ass is grass, Henderson. Is that clear?”

“Of course” you admited quickly, not wanting to upset him. Steve smiles brightly and leaned down to kiss your cheek. You heard the girls sighing behind you. Becky was standing by her locker too, clenching her hands firmly on her black pen, seeing the two of you. Steve stood back and pinched you in the nose. “I’ll see you later?” he asked, and you nod your head slowly. He left his way (without his  glasses this time) but he turned around to wave to you at the end of the hallway. Your heart jumped a few times, banging on your ribs. That boy was so beautiful. And for a moment… for a few weeks, he could only be yours.

You twisted your head to drive the intrusive thoughts out of your head again and turned to go to your class, but you couldn’t go on. You were blocked by Nancy.

-

Bathrooms in schools are not the best place to talk, but the ladies’ bathrooms at least were cleaner than the boys’. Nancy sat with her legs crossed on cold tiles on the floor under the sinks, drawing tiny hearts with a pink marker on her notebook, listening to your story.

“I’m sorry that I only told Jonathan. He found out by coincidence” you said, suddenly feeling ashamed. A gentle smile appeared on your friend’s face, the marker froze over the white paper. “I hope you’re not angry at me”. “I’m not” Nancy twisted her head so hard that her curls covered her face for a moment. “For not telling me and for being with him. I wish you both the best. Steve is a wonderful guy. And you are a marvelous girl! I was just hoping you could give me some spicy details”.

“Spicy… details?” you repeated slowly, praying for someone to go to the toilet. “Oh, don’t be shy” Nancy kneeled down on her knees, leaning her hand against the sink above her to keep her balance. “How did that happen? Jonathan said you invited him on a date, so you have to tell me what happened. What were you doing? You guys already kissed each other, right?”

Details. How could you both be so stupid to not set a common version? If you say something else to Nancy… and he’ll say something different to his mates, you’ll bring suspicion on yourself. The school’s gonna start to be filled with false rumors. Think like Steve. What would Steve think…

“It’s just… somehow work out, you know?” you shrugged your shoulder innocently. You gave her a fake smile, feeling your thoughts trying to get ahead of each other on the highway in your brain. “We talked for a while during his training, so I suggested we can have lunch together the next day… and since then we’re inseparable”.

“You don’t even know how happy I am” Nancy squeezed your hand tight. Her small fingers have been warmly wrapped around your pale hand. “Since I started dating Jonathan… I was afraid you’d feel uncomfortable with us. Although you assured me that it’s not like that, I know how you must have felt sometimes. That doesn’t mean we didn’t want to spend time with you, don’t get me wrong. I just… I didn’t want you to be alone. Now I don’t have to worry anymore, right?”

“Yeah” you smiled at her.  Nancy was always there for you, and she always wanted the best for you. Lying to her is not right. But if she doesn’t find out about Jonathan being more than friend that to you… you won’t break her heart. It’ll be worth it. Your own misery, for the happiness of a friend. Life is constant sacrifice. And you don’t always have to act selfishly. You’ll make sure Nancy is happy. You’ll make sure she’s happy like no one else.

-

“Y/N, someone’s ringing the doorbell!” Dustin screamed from his room, interrupting you from reading the book. You put it on your stomach. Mr. Darcy was just about to confess his love to Elizabeth Bennet, and there’s no way you’re gonna get out of bed until he does. If Mom was at work and her friends knew about it, it was definitely someone to your brother. Or to you.

“Why can’t you open the door?” you yelled, taking your legs off the wall. “I’m a little busy here! Just open the door!” your brother shouted. Mr Darcy had to wait for your reading to move forward. You came down the stairs, almost stepping on your cat, who, strangely enough, liked the lowest step. You opened the door wide, seeing Steve on the other side. He was wearing a black jacket, dark jeans, and his hair was perfectly up. If Mr Darcy had existed in the ‘80s, he’d probably look like him. But you’re not Elizabeth Bennet, so you shouldn’t allow yourself unnecessary comparisons.

“We supposed to see each other?” you asked, surprised, unable to take your eyes off his. “No, but I didn’t have your number, so I thought I’d come. Can I come in?” “Sure” you smiled, leading him inside. God, when was he last here? You remembered that his favorite hiding place was between the wall and your mom’s chair. That he once couldn’t reach the shelf in the fridge with the chocolate milk on it. Now he was taller than the fridge. He watched everything with curiosity, as if he wanted to see how much of what he remembers had changed. You didn’t know he saw the biggest change in you. He remembered when you once hit your head so hard on the stair railing that a big purple bruise stayed on your skin for weeks. Now there was no trace of it. Even if there was, it wouldn’t matter. Looking at you, in a striped shirt with flushed cheeks, Steve thought you were just adorable.

“As I was saying” Steve leaned lazy against the table top. He took an apple from a fruit bowl and tossed it a couple of times in his hand. “I didn’t have your number, and my teammate Evan is having a party today. I was gonna go, but… but if you can’t, or don’t want to, I’ll understand”. “Why can’t you go alone?” you asked, genuinely surprised. Steve stopped tossing the apple.

“Because, Henderson, you’re my girlfriend. I’m not going anywhere without you” he said. The corners of your mouth turned up. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea. Isn’t it too early to introduce me to your friends?” you asked. Of course it wasn’t too early. But the vision of Steve coming with you to the party, drinking alcohol with him, leaning lazy on his chest while sitting on the couch literally terrified you. “I don’t know if Jonathan’s going there, but parties are in the contract. A deal is a deal, Henderson. I’ll wait until you get changed”.

“Okay… but I can’t be home late” you said firmly, going up the stairs. “What do you mean by saying 'late’? You need to be a little more specific”. “Midnight. We’ll be home at 12:30 pm, and I’ll go to bed at 1:30 am. So we have to go out at midnight” you smiled proud of your own calculations. Steve twisted his head with disbelief. A corner of his mouth lifted. How could he disagree? He’s gonna bring you here at midnight, even if he’s gonna go over the speed limit to do it.

“Let it be, Cinderella. Before your carriage turns into pumpkin, you’ll be home”. “I thought your car was red, not orange” you joked, running up the stairs. You stopped halfway up and turned to the boy who bit into the apple. Mews only now turned her attention to him, raising her head from over her thick fur.

“Are you legal to drink yet?” you asked, squinting your eyes. Steve moved the fruit away from his mouth. “You’re serious? The fake ID in my wallet says I am” he said, raising his shoulders. “I can work with that” you nodded your head and ran upstairs. Steve laughed quietly, unable to be not surprised. He and Y/N Henderson are going to a party together. This is going to be an interesting night. 

Taglist: @krazykatkay456​ @mochminnie​ @ghostineleven​ @sydzygy​ @queen1054​

[worryinglyinnocent]

Fic: The Real Housewives of Storybrooke (14/?)

A fic based on this premise here, following the lives of Storybrooke’s elite wives, with all the scandal, bitching and backstabbing that goes on behind the scenes of high society…

This verse is open for prompts!

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[One] [Two] [Three] [Four] [Five] [Six] [Seven] [Eight] [Nine] [Ten] [Eleven] [Twelve] [Thirteen] [AO3]

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ARIEL

With the party preparations in full swing, Ariel thought that it was high time for her and Belle to sit down and work out a strategy for how they were going to survive the evening, or rather, how Belle was going to get through the evening without being the subject of a scene.

Belle didn’t really cause scenes; they tended to happen to her instead. Still, they’d managed to get through Regina’s garden party without any mishaps and whilst her own birthday celebration had been marred by Zelena’s intervention, Ariel would admit that they’d got off pretty lightly considering what had happened on previous occasions. They’d never yet had a party dissolve into a food fight, but when one considered what could happen when tempers frayed and people started acting like five-year-olds, Ariel didn’t think that such occurrences were completely out of the question. 

She rang the Golds’ doorbell and rocked back and forth on her heels as she waited for someone to come and let her in. The Cadillac was gone from the drive so Cameron was obviously out, and who knew where Bae might have gone now that his summer vacation had started, and he was free for a few weeks? Tilly had gone back home the previous day, and according to Regina, Robyn was already missing her. 

There was no reply to the doorbell and Ariel’s brow furrowed. Belle knew that she was coming over today, surely she wouldn’t have forgotten and gone out. She made her way round to the front room window and peered in through the glass, but there was nothing to see. Maybe the back door was unlocked. 

Ariel picked her way cautiously round to the back of the house and the kitchen. She didn’t know why she was being so furtive; anyone would think that she was a burglar casing the place rather than an invited guest, but the fact that no one appeared to be around to greet her made her wary, and although she considered herself to be somewhat sensible in a crisis, she had fleeting visions of the entire family being struck down by a serial killer and buried under the patio. 

Reaching the garden, she found that the patio was intact and there were no signs of freshly dug graves, so her mind was set at rest for all of a minute until a helpful voice told her that the serial killer might still be inside. 

She tried the back door and found it unlocked, so she stepped inside warily. At least there were various kitchen implements to defend herself with if necessary. 

“Belle?” she called out. “Bae? Mrs P? Anyone?”

There was no response, and Ariel began to worry. They wouldn’t have all gone out and left the doors unlocked; Storybrooke was a comparatively safe town but that was just ridiculous. 

“Belle?” Hopefully, her friend wasn’t lying in a heap at the bottom of the stairs having fallen off her stilettos. Ariel was no stranger to killer footwear herself, but Belle’s fascination with it seemed to border on dangerous. 

It was as she reached the foot of the stairs - thankfully free of collapsed Belles - that Ariel heard it, and suddenly several things fell into place. From upstairs, she could hear the faint sound of someone retching. 

“Belle? Are you ok?” It was a stupid thing to say because she obviously wasn’t, and Ariel wondered why it was everyone’s default question. She went up the stairs slowly and pushed open the master bedroom door, immediately seeing Belle through the crack between the bathroom door and its frame. 

Belle looked up from the toilet bowl, her face grey and drawn, and she gave a weak smile as she saw Ariel. 

“Morning sickness is a bitch,” she muttered. 

Ariel had to smile as she tiptoed into the bathroom, perching on the bath. For all the times she’d been to events with Belle where copious amounts of alcohol had been imbibed, usually it was the other way round as to who was holding the other one’s hair back. 

“I was wondering if it had finally happened,” Ariel said. “When I came back to Storybrooke I thought that there was something different about you. Something brighter and happier.”

Belle nodded. “Yep. That was before the morning sickness started. Don’t feel quite so bright now.” She gave a soft little laugh. “I know I’m grousing about it, but I’m honestly happy to be pregnant. I mean, I was prepared for this, it’s not like I didn’t know what I was getting into.”

“Can I get you anything?”

“There should be a packet of ginger tea on the side in the kitchen. Cameron bought it at the weekend and it’s the only thing that helps.”

Ariel went to make the tea and Belle joined her in the kitchen a few minutes later, wrapped up in her robe. She had a little more colour now, and Ariel hoped that the worst was over for the day. 

“How far along are you?” she asked. 

“Seven weeks.” Belle took a sip of her tea. “It’s not common knowledge yet, but all things considered I thought you’d probably guess anyway. Can we keep it between ourselves for now? Just until I’ve had the first scan and made sure everything’s all right. I needed someone who wasn’t Cameron or Bae or Mrs P to know. I mean, they’re all being great about it, don’t get me wrong, but it’s not like sharing the news with a girlfriend.”

“Of course. I’ll be the very picture of discretion.”

“I think of all our circle of friends, you’re probably the one I trust most. Much as I love Carrie and Ursula, I don’t think that anything stays secret with them for very long, and since Carrie’s solution to everything is to add more gin, I’m not sure she’d be very good at helping with morning sickness.”

“That’s very true.” Ariel had not really met Carrie and Ursula outside of various parties and functions, but the tales that Belle and Cameron told certainly painted a vivid picture. She made herself a cup of tea and sat down at the kitchen table with Belle. “On the other hand, the morning sickness does give you a great excuse for not going to the party.”

“Yes, but I’m slightly concerned as to what the rumour mill might start doing if I don’t attend. People are already starting to wonder why I’ve not been at the library these past few mornings. It generally wears off by about lunch time so I should be ok for the evening.”

“Just maybe steer clear of the buffet table. And the bar.” Ariel thought about the planning sessions at Regina’s, with Robin being promised that he could monopolise the buffet table with Belle instead of having to socialise. 

“Yeah, maybe it would be a good idea to sit this one out.” Belle sighed. “It’s a toss-up between everyone wondering why I’m not there, especially since Cameron’s so involved with the whole project and definitely will be there, and everyone wondering why I’m there but not eating or drinking. Which do you think would be worse?”

“Well, we can hope that everyone gets so drunk that they don’t notice. I think that’s usually the way to get around these things.”

She managed to get a laugh out of Belle this time, and Ariel took that as a good sign. Presently, her friend’s stomach grumbled, and Ariel raised an eyebrow.

“Well, I haven’t exactly had any breakfast,” Belle muttered, her still-pale cheeks beginning to colour. 

“You’re pregnant. Your stomach’s going to be doing weird things for the next nine months.” Ariel reached across and patted Belle’s hand. “Don’t worry about it. Can I make you some toast or something?”

“That sounds like a good idea. You don’t have to get it. I’m the host here.” She looked down at her pyjamas and bathrobe. “I’m not doing a very good job of it, but I can try.”

“Belle, you’re in a rather tender state at the moment. Just let someone else take care of you for once. You know that if Cameron didn’t have to go and save the world as we know it, he’d be here waiting on you hand and foot.”

“Yeah, I practically had to push him out of the door this morning.” Belle glanced down at her belly. “If it wasn’t for the constant throwing up, I’d still be wondering if this was all a dream.”

Ariel set about making some toast. “It’s strange. I’ve never really thought about being pregnant,” she said. “If you go swimming whilst pregnant, does that make you a human submarine?”

“Ariel.” Belle gave her a pained look. “Sometimes I wonder where your mind goes.”

“Submarines, evidently. In all seriousness though, I’m really happy for you. This is all you’ve wanted for so long and I’m so glad that it’s finally come good in the end. Even if you are now as sick as a parrot.”

“It’ll pass.” Belle nibbled on her toast. “Have you ever wanted children, you and Eric?”

“No. We talked about it early on, back when we were first starting up the business, and it was just never a priority for us. We’ve always been happy just as a duo. Sometimes I wonder what would happen if we had an accident, so to speak. Things might change then. But we’ve never planned on it. I’ve never really had maternal urges. I’m the cool fairy godmother instead. That was a hint, by the way.”

Belle shook her head with a laugh. “We’re nowhere near thinking that far ahead yet. We just want to get through these first few months with no mishaps, then we’ll start appointing go-to babysitters. You do know that the job doesn’t come with a wand and special powers, right?”

“I can always dream. Have you thought about names yet? Come on, you’ve been thinking about this entire adventure for months, you must have thought about names.”

“I’ve always been more concerned with actually getting the baby rather than naming it,” Belle said, but it was clear that she was already off in a little world of her own as she pondered names for her future child. “I like Gideon for a boy. I know it’s a bit unusual, but it’s not too out there. And I like flower names for girls. Rose, Lily, Iris.”

“Chrysanthemum.”

“You jest, but I may call your bluff in nine months’ time, and then where would you be.”

“I’d be congratulating you on your excellent taste in names.”

They both fell about in laughter after that, and Ariel smiled. It was good to know that even though Belle was not feeling at her best right now, her enthusiasm for motherhood had not been dampened, and her patience had finally paid off in the best possible way.

[lightsandlostbells]

Skam France season 3, episode 8 reaction

Not gonna lie, I kept thinking “they must taste like ham” during the love-making scene

Episode 8

Clip 1 - Morning after 

Lucas wakes up, still with splotches of paint on his body. I guess he washed off some of the paint, but not that well? I have so many questions about how they got home, like did they manage to get into the locker room to take a shower before leaving the school, or did they just go home covered in paint? 

Anyway, Lucas is alone and checks his phone. His father says their mom wants to go to mass with them next week, so there’s your O Helga Natt clip. I’m trying to think about the religious references in this season. They’ve definitely been carrying through with Lucas’ mom being religious; I’m not sure there has been more in the way of religious symbolism? Luke is a Biblical figure but I’m not sure there’s any connecting with Lucas’ character the way Isak was connected to Biblical Isaac through the 21:21 reference. Not that it means O Helga Natt shouldn’t happen at a church, just that I think you could potentially set the scene somewhere else that’s more in line with what symbolism there is in this season (light and dark).

WAIT A FUCKING MINUTE. Was he on the couch???? In the living room??? Wh- why? So they went back to Lucas’ placed and crashed, covered in paint and seemingly naked (since Lucas is shown putting on his boxers), on the sofa in his living room? At the apartment where he has three other roommates coming and going? The FUCK.

Doesn’t Eliott live by himself? I thought someone involved with the show said that. Why did they not go to his place where they can be alone, rather than going to Lucas’ where they have to crash on the fucking couch? Even if Eliott does live with his parents or whoever, presumably he has a bedroom with, you know, a door. 

I guess after you fuck in public at your school when there are people around, cuddling naked together in your living room where your roommates might see is no big deal at all. Get over it, prudes.

This is one of those times when I think Skam France still sticks to the original script too much, like obviously this part is here because Isak woke up alone after Even spent the night and heard Even in the kitchen. Lucas’ living situation (aka living on his goddamn couch) doesn’t really accommodate for that without some weirdness. So they could have revised this scene a bit - either send them to Eliott’s place rather than Lucas’, or have Lucas actually get his bedroom back by now (why is he still on the couch anyway????) or just have them clothed. Or you could have something where Eliott didn’t sleep over, and Lucas wakes up on the couch smiling about the previous day, except then he hears Eliott’s voice in the kitchen. Surprise! Eliott came over early to surprise Lucas with breakfast, and Manon let him in. And it could be shown as a sign of his mania, maybe, like it’s cute but Eliott came over way too early with way too many ingredients and it’s just a little too intense, it feels off.

Anyway, Lucas hears giggling from the kitchen, and of course Eliott is cooking and talking to the roommates. He’s making a fennel and cinnamon omelette. He kisses Lucas and Mika and Manon exchange a proud look. No more interventions are necessary.

Eliott also wants to make blueberry bacon muffins and Manon is all WTF about it, because she is lucky enough to live in a country where people apparently weren’t putting bacon in every single food product for a few years. 

Mika and Manon pretend they didn’t hear anything from Eliott and Lucas when they came in, but Lisa enters and is like, yes, I did hear you fucking. So they were for real fucking on the couch? I’m just imagining like, Manon wanting a glass of water last night but being unable to leave her bedroom, just waiting for the moans to stop.

Lisa tells Manon to give her room to Lucas since he has a sex life and Manon doesn’t. Cold, but accurate, and also, Manon should give her room back since it’s not hers in the first place and Lucas was clearly distraught over it in the last episode. C’mon. At least take turns.

When the roommates are gone, Lucas says he thought Eliott left this morning (or like … one minute ago), like he did with Lucille. We get this conversation with a big gap between them as Lucas talks about Eliott making out with Lucille at Chloé’s party. Eliott closes the gap and takes Lucas’ face in his hands when he says that Lucille knows him well and made him believe they had to get back together, and Lucas wasn’t ready. Eliott was afraid Lucas wouldn’t want anything serious, Lucas says he does, and Eliott says good, because he’s not going anywhere right now. They kiss.

Eliott comes across as rather self-assured here. Even seemed very vulnerable when Isak called him on the situation with Sonja, and his attitude got very weird and harsh. He wasn’t even looking Isak in the eye as he complained about her; he only looked back when he was asking Isak to understand what he meant. Part of the scene felt very, very fragile for both of them. By contrast, while Lucas here seems uncertain, Eliott seems pretty confident. Although he’s telling Lucas about something that made him uncertain at the time, in the moment he seems to have gotten over it. Either that or he’s completely burying his fears, because I don’t see a hint of doubt or defensiveness.

Also, in the original scene, there were hints that Even was manic. I guessed it from my first viewing, watching the scene in unsubtitled Norwegian, just based off Even’s energy and emotional shifts, and then with the subs we could see how he got distracted, his mind was racing a bit. I didn’t really feel like they were signaling Eliott was manic yet, other than the lines about him going to the fridge and wanting to bake everything. Eliott just seems comfortable in what’s happening. (I’m not blaming Maxence for this, I think his acting is pretty solid, honestly.)

They obviously did not do their version of the Gabrielle lip-syncing, and while I don’t mind if they choose not to, for time constraints or not wanting to copy OG or just not feeling it for the characters, I can’t help but feel a bit bereft that I did not see more of Eliott’s awkward EDM dancing.

Clip 2 - Ass = art

I am honest to God laughing that they hyped up that previous mural as the ugliest shit ever, and then Lucas and Eliott literally threw some paint over it and it’s suddenly acceptable. Oh my God. Different strokes for different folks and all, but you can still see the original goddamn mural!!! It’s not even totally covered up!!!

Plot twist: whoever originally painted that mural in like the ‘90s or whatever also did it while having sex against the wall. And the plucky artists who will paint over Lucas and Eliott’s mural in like 2034 will be doing it as part of an orgy. Why even bother having a mattress when you have a paint-splattered wall to hump against?

I think it’d be a pretty display if it it were not half-assed. It’s not even covering all of the existing mural. They should’ve whole-assed it. Much like they whole-assed everything else on Friday.

Lucas is like, sorry we didn’t go with what was planned. Was there a plan? Because it absolutely came across like the boys just showed up to paint whatever image popped into their heads.

OH MY GOD THERE WAS AN ACTUAL ASS PRINT ON THE WALL

AND THEY DON’T EVEN MAKE UP A LIE ABOUT IT

Eliott’s like, Sorry about that! And he and Lucas kiss. Oh my God, this is ridiculous. I’m happy for your love and all but I legit cringed at that part, it’s too much. I guess if I think about it like how Even said it was good the boys left when Even showed up at Isak’s house, it’s the same thing? Except that’s a lot vaguer than like, yep, we left ass prints on the wall, our butt cheeks were used as sponges. I suppose it’s odd that everyone’s just like ... completely un-weirded out by this admission. (🐭🐭🐭)

Daphne is happy because the common room was decorated by a gay couple, so that made it cool, and objectively that’s not a great thing to say but I confess it make me laugh, because what a Daphne thought. Imane is like, why do we let it slide when Daphne says stuff like that? Good question. I guess because Daphne’s enthusiasm is pretty charming if you just tune out her words themselves.

Eliott is like, we gave it body and soul … you sure did give it your body, as Daphne observes.

Imane says she’s happy for Eliott and Daphne asks if Imane and Eliott know each other. They smile at each other. Precious. So we’re getting that storyline in S4, let’s hope they do a decent job with it. It could be improved.

Lucas gets a text from his dad about going to mass. Dad guilts him, telling him to think of his mother. Lucas texts back that he’ll go to mass with his boyfriend. We don’t get an answer immediately from the dad, like with Isak; Lucas just tells him and looks over to his boyfriend smiling and laughing with the girls, like he doesn’t care what his dad says in that moment, he’s just going to enjoy being happy with Eliott. He gives Eliott a back hug, it’s very sweet.

Clip 3 - Boy squad = cheerleaders

Basile is talking about sending a song to a girl, presumably Daphne, because this is hell. She didn’t reply. Dude. Take the fucking hint. 

I know I keep complaining about this a million times per post, but I keep being annoyed at Skam France for adding yet another no-means-yes romance where a girl’s stated disinterest is continually ignored by a guy. We already had Noorhelm/Marles. And Vilde/Magnus, whatever you think of them, didn’t have this crap tainting their courtship. 

The boys run into Eliott who looks happy. Lucas proudly introduces Eliott as his boyfriend, without any insecurity, and the boys erupt in cheers like this is one of those videos where everyone’s watching as a kid is opening his email and learning he got accepted to Harvard (🐭🐭🐭). I mean, it is cute that the boys react so positively! I don’t want to discourage straight boys cheering on their gay friend getting a boyfriend. Go wild, throw some confetti, bake a cake.

Basile says Lucas made the boys bolt on Friday and is upset he didn’t get to paint. I feel like Basile’s “misunderstood genius” left uninterrupted would definitely have resulted in several big-tittied anime girls on that wall. The boys invite Eliott to the park on Wednesday. Eliott agrees to go even though Lucas points out he has class then. I guess maybe that’s a sign of Eliott being manic? Maybe? Like he doesn’t care about school and is being reckless? 

Basile makes an incest joke. Not his first in the season.

The boys really do seem cute running away, I love Arthur’s moves! But again, I am never letting that “it’s not Disneyland” comment go, because everything is so shiny-happy. It’s not just positive in a realistic way, it’s that song that from The Lego Movie. With Isak, he was still shy after he came out to his friends because you know, he was a human being and turning off internalized homophobia wasn’t like flicking a light switch. He got more comfortable over time. And the boys were very excited to meet Even but in a chill, non-OTT way (even Magnus).  

With content like this, I do think it is valuable to show exceedingly positive social support for a gay teenager coming out and getting a boyfriend, like I do feel a little bad having any nitpicks about this. Likewise, I hate to have any reservations about Lucas getting so totally open and affectionate with Eliott so fast, because this is the end goal, obviously, we want to see Lucas happy and thriving and out and proud. You could make the argument that now he knows his friends accept him, he can let go of his insecurities in full (I don’t know how I feel about that because I don’t think Lucas’ problem was solely about whether his friends would accept him, for instance the Pride scene was more about internalized homophobia). And I do think they wanted to make Lucas as happy as possible this week before bringing him down at the end of the episode, for the impact. But combined with stuff like treating his outing as no big deal, and cleaning house last week and putting the Chloé and Imane clips in that episode so we got those conflicts and plot threads out of the way, and then how Lucas is so 100% okay with announcing Eliott as his boyfriend and joking about their sex life and kissing him and embracing him in public, all of this right off the bat ... to me it almost feels like they wanted to skip over the inner conflict, any hesitation or lingering insecurities, and just get straight to the cuddly ship content. And I mean, I approve of cuddly ship content! It just seems a little pat? You can make something idealistic and realistic. I guess Skam resolved some conflicts easily, too, but I felt like Isak’s character development was gradual and earned, whereas Lucas’ lacks some nuance here. 

Lucas gets a phone call and it’s from Lucille. I find it kinda weird we didn’t even hear her voice because that would be Lucas’ POV in this important moment. Eliott talks to Lucille and it doesn’t really seem like… alarming like it did with Even, that rapid change in mood. He just sounds annoyed that she’s calling Lucas and he told her not to. 

Lucas asks why Lucille called, Eliott is like IDK, to bullshit you. Which honestly, seems like a reasonable enough response? I don’t get why Lucas looks at Eliott like Eliott is the one bullshitting him. It’s not nice but Eliott’s ex calling Lucas just to harass him or tell him to stay away is not a thing that’s all that unusual, it happens. Even was a lot harsher in attitude and weirder in what he said (”she doesn’t like people who live free and genuine”). Anyway, then Eliott says Lucille can’t control him (Eliott) anymore and is trying to go through Lucas. Eliott kisses Lucas, plays with his hair (which seems to be their Thing, which is adorable), kisses him again, leaves, comes back for another kiss. He pulls an Even and walks off backwards. Lucas blows him a kiss after he’s gone. Well, that’s the cutest thing I’ve seen from Lucas so far, and very endearing.

Clip 4 - Het drama? In my S3? It’s more likely than you think

Everyone, both boy and girl squads are having a picnic. There’s a cool effect where someone wipes away the time card as they walk through the frame, I don’t remember seeing anything like that before on Skam France or any other remake. Stuff like that is just a fun way to play with the format.

Is that the same lake as the one in the first clip of the season? Would be nice to call back, since Lucas was feeling detached back then, and now he’s surrounded by friends and literally lying in his man’s arms. Speaking of, Lucas and Eliott are a little ways off from everyone else, and like I said, Lucas is being cozy in Eliott’s arms. They talk about doing something this weekend; Eliott mentions that Lisa blacklisted him from the flatshare and I DO NOT BLAME HER after what happened on that couch. Although I guess you could say the other flatmates deserve it after relegating Lucas to the sofa. 

Eliott mentions his parents will be there that weekend. Wait, so I thought he lived alone? Didn’t someone involved with the show say that? Guess I was wrong. Or are his parents just coming to visit? Anyway, obviously this is setup for them getting a hotel room or whatever their version is. 

Okay: absolutely fucking ridiculous that this 4-minute clip features less than a minute actually focused on Lucas’ POV, in Lucas’ season. At the end of the season? Sure, absolutely, we’re wrapping up the season’s storylines and giving everyone some closure and/or setup for the next season. Switching POVs is perfectly fine then. But in the middle of the season??? What’s more - in the middle of episode 8??????? The end of episode 8 is a hugely important turn of the story. It twists everything we know about the Even character on its head, it’s an intense scene, even frightening. It should have us looking back, noticing the signs we didn’t know were there on first viewing. This is one of the worst times they could cut for an interlude about everyone else - let alone for crappy het romance drama.

They could’ve used these three minutes to hint at Eliott’s mania! Or put in some content about Lucas’ parents, especially with Lucas’ mom since he’s going to come out to her soon! You can even keep the picnic with everyone else, just have Eliott doing or saying something that in retrospect is a big-ass pile of foreshadowing. Considering this week has been very light on those hints so far, this would have been a perfect opportunity. At the very least, if you need that mandatory girl squad content, we could have seen all this het romance through Lucas’ eyes, like he’s not even in the scene with these people, really? It’s not like he’s watching or listening to them, he and Eliott are in their own little bubble. So just stay in the bubble with them, or let others into their bubble, or don’t have them in the bubble - they can be cuddling closer to everyone else and interacting with them. 

Keep in mind that there was no French “5 fine frøkner” either, lmao. They cut that out and we got this scene instead. And like I said, I’m totally fine with the kitchen sing-along not being there, but if what we get instead is shit that has nothing to do with Lucas and isn’t even from his POV, to focus on a bunch of (terrible) m/f pairings ... then I’m going to get exasperated.

Basile worms in between Emma and Daphne, like legit shoves Emma to the side. Daphne is reading a book. Basile tries to make small talk, Daphne ignores him (as she well should) and talks to Emma over him. Basile asks her out for coffee, Daphne is like, I’m studying. With a respectful human being, the conversation would end here. It’s appalling to me that even these little moments are chock full of Basile’s entitlement! Daphne says she’s reading, so either a) she is genuinely trying to enjoy her book or get some homework done or b) she just really doesn’t want to talk to Basile or c) both but IN ANY CASE he needs to get the fucking picture, she is not interested in continuing this conversation. I had to vent after I saw this scene because I’m just astonished by how thoroughly awful this relationship has been depicted, like they are hitting ALL the typical entitled dude moments. 

Anyway, welcome to hell. Arthur gives Basile the signal to keep going (and Arthur’s on my shit list, too, for enabling this behavior - like lol, here’s toxic masculinity for you). Basile asks if she heard the song he sent her. Daphne is like … the song with the deeply inappropriate lyrics? So not only is he continuing to bother her when she wants to be left alone, but the song he sent he was overly sexual? GEE WHY WOULD ANYONE THINK THIS IS HARASSMENT.

Arthur and Yann chide Basile for sending such a forward song, Yann told him to be less upfront so Daphne would want him. Yann is on my shit list, too! Stop encouraging this creepy behavior! This is like a textbook study of how guys enforce toxic masculinity, for real, because Arthur and Yann know full well that Daphne has said no a million times, she said no again 10 seconds ago while the boys were right there, and yet that’s not enough for them, either. They’re not telling Basile to back off.

Basile is like, what’s the point, no one wants me, and gets up and walks away. Lol, so this shit is about Basile’s poor feelings. Not Daphne’s, not how she felt when Basile was trying to hump her on the dance floor or never the shutting the fuck up about how he wants her. Basile being sad because he did a creepy thing and it wasn’t well-received. Of course. (I seriously think you could write that moment of him saying no one wants him in a way that’s poignant and sympathetic, but you have to build it up in a way where we can feel sorry for him without caveats. If you wanted me to feel sorry for him, don’t write him as persistently going after a girl who has said she’s not interested!)

Yann and Arthur talk to Daphne and are like, he probably didn’t even read the lyrics! Er, not Daphne’s fucking fault that Basile was lazy. The song was titled “May she love me.” The boys are like, how cute! OF FUCKING COURSE Daphne smiles a little after that as she looks at Basile walking off. The boys encourage Daphne to give him a chance. OF FUCKING COURSE men are telling a woman to give a poor guy a chance after she’s already said no over and over again. 

Did anyone realize this is some Nice Guy nonsense, too? That Basile, he’s really a decent guy! He’s so sweet and nice with his well-intentioned song choice! So why doesn’t Daphne give him a chance, hmm? I mean Basile is such a Nice Guy and yet no one will love him.

I’m sorry I cannot stop talking about this but it is astonishing how much crap they have packed into every goddamn scene of this nonsense. This is a man’s fantasy, this is a woman’s nightmare. Actually, no, - it’s women’s reality, because it happens often enough that men don’t give a shit about our boundaries and our rejections (however firm or polite) that this is a whole subset of feminist discourse, that we have terms like Nice Guy because these attitudes are so prevalent they merit a common phrase, that almost every woman has stories about some dude who wouldn’t take no for an answer.

Manon’s hat

That’s the comment, Manon’s fucking hat

The other girls are messing with Romain about period blood, heh. Manon goes after Emma when Emma walks off. (We get treated to yet more dialogue from Yann and Arthur trying to persuade Daphne to give Basile a chance, siiiiiiigh. Let the girl read her book!) Emma is bummed because Raptor Alex didn’t respond to Emma’s invitation and he’s seeing another girl tonight. Emma also slept with another guy, Manon is impressed by how she can do that. But Emma said it sucked with that other guy and that with Alex the sex was good, it was just that when he opened his mouth that she was turned off. Lmao, Emma, some things just aren’t meant to be that serious? He’s good in bed but he’s not that interesting of a person. It’s fine. Either keep your FWB thing going or find someone you can bang while also having stimulating conversations or whatever.

Emma says Manon and Alex have more to talk about than she and Alex, and that she saw them the other day. Talking about Charles, obviously. Emma lets on that she knows something is wrong with Manon, and she’s waiting for Manon to talk about it. This scene’s a lot like the talk between Yann and Lucas in episode 5, except somehow I don’t think Emma is going to walk away once Manon opens up.

Manon says it’s complicated with Charles and she doesn’t know if he’s coming back. Emma says she’ll wait for Manon to open up. Manon gets teary. Apart from the fact that this is not in Lucas’ POV, and that this is about crappy straight pairings, on its own this is a really nice interaction between the two of them.

But can we talk about how absolutely awful the het pairings on this show are? We have Manon/Charles with their ramped-up alpha male crap in S2 and then what he did to Manon in London, which was despicable. We have Emma/Alex, who are functional as fuckbuddies but have no real intellectual or emotional connection (fine for what it is, but don’t tell me this is supposed to be a real romance). We have Alex/Romain, the bi girl with the boyfriend who’s fetishizing her and asking her for a threesome the minute after she comes out to him, basically. She seems done with him already, like she’s just dating him out of habit now. And we have Basile/Daphne, at the very bottom of the trash heap. I want Imane to have a love interest who’s genuinely great and who deserves her, but seriously, the bar is so low that French Yousef could basically lie on the ground and roll over it.

Clip 5 - Boat bangin’

Eliott leads Lucas to his surprise at the docks. There’s some cute banter with them; they do have nice chemistry when they’re directed well and allowed to be free with each other (when it’s been off I chalk that up to scenes being rushed more than the actors, but it hasn’t been often). Missed opportunity to do something interesting with POV, though? The boat and the dock are shown immediately, but since Eliott is covering Lucas’ eyes, they could replicate the sense of surprise by not showing the boat right away, just have a closeup on Lucas and Eliott until Eliott tells him to look, so we see the reveal when he does.

Eliott shows Lucas that they’re on a boat and Lucas is stunned and happy. He asks how Eliott paid for the boat and Eliott just blows off that question and swoops in for a kiss, and I mean, when a face that pretty is that happy, are you going to question it? Maxence does seem to be doing a nice job with the manic signs here; he’s just a little elevated and giddy, and it could certainly just be excitement to be alone with his new boyfriend, but it also registers as slightly higher than Eliott’s usual range to me. 

Eliott yells about his hot boyfriend to the water and he and Lucas goof around, it’s very cute. Lucas says no one has ever done anything like this for him. Awwww. But also, you understand why he’s letting the question of how Eliott paid for the boat slide. He’s just thrilled to be with him and touched by the grand gesture.

Inside the boat, Eliott pours champagne for him and Lucas. It’s not real champagne, as it turns out. I do like how this scene is shot, I don’t like a lot of Skam France’s directing but this is working for me. The scene on the deck was beautiful like a romantic movie scene, like it’s supposed to feel for Lucas, a combination of light and dark. But now the darkness inside the boat feels a little more stifling, in my opinion. I like that we see them from the side, considering each other. 

Eliott tells Lucas to try to eat some Italian ham, and I do like how Lucas is playacting like they’re living it up and being fancy. It’s a good thing because there is no fucking way on this planet that eating that ham is a sexy move. It is the opposite of sexy.  Eliott snatches ham from Lucas. Even the literal male model cannot make eating ham look sexy. Lucas describes the ham in sensual detail. Lucas says that it’s so good, you’d have thought Eliott cooked it. Eliott laughs and there’s a long look, which gets kind of intense? There’s something lingering in the air. I guess I was wrong, because these two seem immensely aroused by eating ham. Okay. No judgment. Glad you two found each other.

Eliott lights a cigarette, and like smoking kills and all, but objectively way sexier than eating ham. He shotguns with Lucas like Lucas did with Chloé in episode 1, except Eliott is way more skilled at it and obviously this is way sexier/more fulfilling to Lucas. Lucas is ready to fuuuuuuuuck. 

They smile at each other, very fond of each other, in love, and then we cut to the sex scene. To Skam France’s credit: they’re not shy or coy about showing the gay intimacy. The actors seem to be pretty naked. Stuff happens.

I personally don’t find this kind of sex scene terribly sexy, because the mechanics of bodies are less interesting to me than the characters’ emotions during the scene, usually (unless there’s something really unusual or notable going on, lol). The Evak hotel clip happened to be the exact kind of TV/movie sex scene I like: more suggestive than explicit, more focused on their faces and their expressions. With Lucas and Eliott, I give massive props to the actors for going this far with each other, and they’re not shy or uncomfortable, but I also wish we saw more of their expressions so this scene felt like them and not any two bodies going at it? But anyway, again, not a flaw of the scene, just a personal preference.

Anyway, in the afterglow, Lucas looks totally fucked into contentment and says he wants to live his life on the barge. Eliott says he does too and starts talking about renting it for the wedding and getting lots of ham and crisps, ONLY ham and crisps for their wedding. Lucas thinks that sounds like a disappointing wedding menu. Eliott starts eagerly rambling about how their wedding will be so great that everyone will only want ham and crisps at their weddings and caterers will go out of business and somehow Trump is involved because ham isn’t enough of a boner killer, we gotta have Trump mentioned, too. Lucas is kinda amused, with a trace of “huh.”

He talks more about the Ham Cold War and going off on a barge and the sound effect from the Skam hotel clip happens, or at least there’s this low rumbling like it might almost be the motor or mechanics of the boat? Whatever it is, it’s ominous, it signifies this conversation getting less goofy and idealistic, more like reality crashing on Lucas as he realizes something’s off about Eliott.

I like how they shot Eliott in this scene. He’s facing that camera and we’re very close to him, so it adds to the intensity of what he’s saying. The editing is also slightly choppy, some cuts between what Eliott is saying, it’s fractured and disjointed like the thoughts in his head, harder to follow.

Eliott just keeps going with this story, like he’s writing a novel in his head involving Trump and making friends with a drug lord and having to deliver weed via boat globally. Like, the kind of thing that could be just messing around, inventing a funny story, except for intense Eliott is about it. It’s making him crack up, he can’t stop laughing. And he doesn’t notice (or care) that Lucas isn’t really following or participating in this story, Eliott is off on his own adventure.

Lucas is just like … wow. Now confused. Either Eliott is drunk as fuck or there’s something really strange happening.

Eliott lies beside Lucas and asks about the Eliotts and Lucases in parallel universes. Then he says they should die tonight. RECORD SCRATCH. Lucas is taken aback to say the least. Why would Eliott say that? Eliott kisses Lucas on the forehead and says he’s kidding. He snuggles up to Lucas and Lucas is bothered. I mean, yeah, who wouldn’t be after your boyfriend casually suggests a double suicide? This ain’t Romeo + Juliet. (Although honestly, I feel like this might be more in line with Even’s characterization, since he’s the one who thinks “the only way to have something forever is by losing it” which would go along with the idea of dying at one’s peak, and he’s also the one making references to death or suicide throughout S3. Eliott doesn’t really talk about death or suicide, as far as I can remember?)

Clip 6 - Ship sinking

It’s later, Lucas is sleeping. He wakes up and Eliott is sitting by the side of the bed watching him. If you didn’t know the twist, you might think Eliott lured Lucas out to this boat to murder him. And here I thought Lucas was the one with the serial killer vibe. Lucas asks if he ever sleeps. Er, have we gotten a ton of hints that Eliott doesn’t sleep? I mean thinking about it, there was no reason for Eliott to be asleep in the cuddle scene in episode 5, because their make-out was in the middle of the day. Not unusual for him to stay awake. Did he say something in the kitchen scene that implied he hadn’t slept? We also didn’t get any middle of the night texts, as with Even. But Eliott says he can’t sleep with someone this hot in the bed. He sounds deadly somber when he says it, though. Lucas smiles and goes back to sleep.

Cut to later. Somewhat blurry lens because Lucas is drowsy and it represents his hazy state of mind. Eliott is naked and lacing up his sneakers. He says he’s going for a swim. Bare ass. Lucas is about to fall back asleep when he’s like … wait a second. He gets dressed, runs around the boat looking for Eliott and calling his name.

Was there a splash? I didn’t hear one. Better if there wasn’t a splash, but then you have no idea where Eliott is. And for Lucas, hearing that whole thing about “let’s die tonight” is going to make him panic even more.

Lucas is yelling and in tears, he calls Lucille. Axel does a nice job here. There’s the sound of police/ambulance/whatever those sirens are in the background, so did they find Eliott? Or are they just thematic at the moment? (The sirens were in the original Skam scene, too.) Lucas asks Lucille to come. Lucas screams and freaks out, he’s shaking.

Lucille shows up on the boat and Lucas tells her what happened. He;s more angry and upset and spitting than Isak, which makes sense with Lucas’ temper. But he’s also unraveling and in tears. Lucas describes how Eliott said he was going for a swim, and he doesn’t think Eliott jumped, but he was naked. 

Lucille says they have to hope the cops find him. When Lucas says he doesn’t understand, Lucille screams at him that Eliott is bipolar and broke into the barge. Lucas is like … he said he rented it. Lucille is like, for fuck’s sake, how do you think he paid for it? I dont know, is it totally out of the question Eliott has rich parents who give him a sizable allowance? I assumed Even just charged way too fucking much for that hotel suite or that he wiped out his savings or something, and Eliott could’ve done something similar. Though granted, I don’t know how much a weekend in a French barge costs. Anyway, I guess the point is that Lucas was so wrapped up in the fantasy that he didn’t bother to ask for further details, which is true.

Lucille asks if they smoked, pissed a hell. Lucas says just a little. Lucille says it makes Eliott sick and is bad for him. I mean, as I said about the Skam scene -that’s not Lucas’/Isak’s fault, that’s on Eliott/Even to know what he can and can’t do.

The way they lit and framed Lucille in this scene makes her seem kinda villainous, tbh. Or at least more dominant - it appears like she’s literally looking down at Lucas. I mean, she is very tall, heh.

Lucille gets a call, they’ve found Eliott. Lucas questions if they should call his parents, Lucille is like YES they should, obviously, he was naked in the street after he broke into a barge and he was smoking weed. I cannot disagree with Lucille on this.

Lucas wants to go with Lucille, but Lucille says no, Lucas needs to stay away, Eliott doesn’t love him, he can’t love him, it’s just something inside his head. She says Lucas is nothing to Eliott, he’s just a passing craze. What Lucille doesn’t know is that Lucas ain’t no passing phase, Hakuna Matata. Lucas sits down and cries after she leaves. Deeply dramatic piano music plays as he sobs. It gets a little too soap opera-ish here at the end, although I get that it’s a very intense scene; I just think the impact would’ve been just as great if they dialed it to a 10 instead of an 11. But you know, it’s Skam France.

Yeah, they made Lucille way more of an OTT villain here. I have to assume they’ll give her chance to speak for herself and humanize her like with Sonja, but it felt they escalated her less from someone who was just frustrated and concerned to someone who was operating out of spite, especially with the way they structured the scene. Like Sonja had the “he doesn’t love you” part earlier and she wasn’t like spitting at him. Isak was in disbelief, and she just left him like she was fed up. But they saved that “he doesn’t love you” part here for the final insult, the last knife to the ribs, and they made it more intense, too, like YOU’RE NOTHING TO HIM. Okay, Lucille, we get the picture, you can go back to punishing those kids for eating your gingerbread house.

I was pretty worried that this scene was going to be overly dramatic verging on exploitative, considering Skam France’s tendency to go over-the-top. But actually I think this set of clips was fine, other than the very end which was too much for my taste. The acting was strong and there were some solid directing choices. My biggest criticism is that they could have hinted at Eliott’s mania more before this clip, and that there wasn’t so much foreshadowing for this scene, in my opinion. And with Skam it wasn’t just about the clues that Even was bipolar, either, but the buildup of tension that something was off. Things like Eliott’s texts in the middle of the night about random memes managed to feel ominous, because we knew Even wasn’t sleeping. There are some moments that arguably were supposed to be hints about Eliott being manic, but I didn’t feel like they were so different from the rest of the acting/writing/directing/pacing that they really registered. So overall: buildup weak, payoff good on its own.

Social Media/General Comments

Lucas is shown hacking into the sink from the omelette that Eliott made, but I’m not convinced it wasn’t the paint. He posts a picture of the eggs like “If I get food poisoning, you’ll know why” YES BECAUSE YOUR MOUTHS WERE GUZZLING ART SUPPLIES OFF EACH OTHER LAST NIGHT.

Lucas did like all the meaningful posts on Eliott’s secret IG, like sketches of the rain and piano.

Eliott sleeps and Lucas cuddles him while singing a cover of “Call Your Girlfriend.” Sick Skam reference! (Actually I think Skam France's OG homages are really sweet.)

Lots of Eliott and Lucas couple selfies, with cuddly captions like “Him” or comments like “raccoon <3 hedgehog” emojis. Eliott draws another sketch of their fursonas together in all parallel universes.

Skam France also did something where they posted the sketch with pictures of the three Evaks out at the time, (from Norway, Italia, and France) which was seriously very cute and respectful of them. 

Basile is wearing a Game of Thrones T-shirt (”Hodor Hodor Hodor”) in an IG pic and not to judge because I watch Game of Thrones myself, I’m literally wearing socks with the House Targaryen sigil on them right now, but yeah, that sounds about right for his character.

There’s also a dick print on the mural, it seems? For fuck’s sake, how could Eliott and Lucas possibly have any satisfying sex with paint slathered over their junk? Or did they wait until they were finished and just wiped off the paint by plastering their bodies against the mural? Maybe that’s how they cleaned themselves up. But how could you possibly get that good of a penis shape without just like ... dipping your dick into the bucket of paint itself? How could you position your dick and balls against the wall that way to get the imprint? Anyway, Alex and Emma have a bet over whose dick it is. I don’t think it’s anyone’s actual dick, Eliott and/or Lucas just thought it would be funny to paint something that looked like one. 

Lucas brings up the Lucille call in a text to Eliott, saying that maybe Lucille had something to tell him, and that Eliott told her to fuck off. Eliott brings up that it’s something they had in common: Eliott told Lucille to fuck off so he could be with Lucas, Lucas told his friends to fuck off so he could be with Eliott (on Friday in the foyer). Well. Not totally the same, Eliott, but I feel like this is almost a diversion from what Lucas wants to know. Eliott says sometimes you have to tell people to fuck off to live your life. Lucas seems appeased by this answer for now, because he doesn’t push the topic, just says he’s happy Eliott is going with them tomorrow to the park.

I am not French so please feel free to correct me on translation or cultural notes.

If you got this far, thank you for reading!

[cruisador-blog]

Mr. Right

After rambling on and on, I remembered a story. It was 2010 and my long time boyfriend and I had been together for about 10 years. We would have a blissful 6 months then we would be angry or fighting with one another. I was actually surprised that it lasted as long as it did. Some of our longevity centered around the fact that he was gone for sometimes 3 weeks in the summer. That made it very easy to get out of town to see the boys. Anyway, without getting into a lot of detail it was a couple weeks till Christmas and I all of the sudden found out I would be alone for the first time in my entire life ! While if the sudden circumstances had happened to me, I would have done the same thing as my boyfriend. That didn't matter and I put the blame straight on him. A week and a half to Christmas I decided to call the boys and let them invite me for Christmas. I didn't want to be alone, I spoke to both of them and dropped lots of hints. They got the hint and invited me. I did tell my boyfriend I was going down to Atlanta. I left it at that.

I couldn't sleep Christmas and I was out the door and in the car way before 5:00am. I was at their house a little after 9:00am. Luckily they had moved from downtown and were now on the north side of Atlanta somewhere off of Jimmy Carter Blvd. They put a Bloody Mary in my hand and we climbed in the Monty Carlo and went to spread Christmas cheer. I was drinking hard but luckily was eating appetizers all day also. We got back to their place and they had a gift for me. I had gotten them a gift also as I knew they had recently just moved into their new place. They had gotten me a negligee that was not something that your would lounge around in. It was see through and lets be honest, very slutty. They said the one that I had was over 20 years old and needed to be replaced. It was over 20 years old and I think I brought it every time I came to see them. I didn't necessarily wear it every time I saw them. It was a very conservative negligee not meant to turn anyone on. I was surprised at how similar the one they gave me was to the one I had. The color was almost identical and the cut and length was almost identical. The major difference was that with theirs my nipples and pubic hair was in plain sight.

I modeled it for them and it stayed on for about 5 minutes before they were all over me. I ended up staying for two nights which I had never done with them. Typically I would be on my way back home in between 18 to 28 hours, depending on if I got their at night or in the morning. I left after lunch on the 27th. When I got home I had to figure out where I was going to put their negligee. My boyfriend of course had seen my negligee and if by chance he stumbled upon it, I would have some explaining to do. Seeing how my closet doesn't have a light, I decided to put it where I used to keep my other one. On a hanger way in the back.

About 14 months later we broke up. After I had found out that he was indeed married I decided to take a drive and clear my head. Oh yeah, we'll get back to the negligee. About an hour north of town I saw a sign for a private university that I knew of, but had never been to the campus. I took the exit and found my way to the downtown section. The campus was all around the downtown. I went in and out of all of the stores and when I was running out of stores on the strip I walked up to the corner and looked to see if anything else was around. I saw a Catholic church not more than a hundred yards away and figured I would go inside to see if it made me feel any better. I opened the doors and could smell paint. Part of the vestibule was roped off with wet paint signs. I made it inside the church and went over to the back right and sat in the last pew. Not five minutes had gone by and I heard a door from inside the church close and footsteps coming toward me. It was the Priest and he said something to me but I didn't understand what he said. I smiled at him as he walked by. Five minutes later he comes back and said something about confession had been canceled. I didn't know what he was talking about but smiled again at him. He was just about to start walking again when he stopped, sat down beside me and said that we can do confession here. I had been to confession one time in my life and that was when I was in Sunday School. I might had been 10 years old ? I was going to say no when he started praying and then he asked when my last confession was. I shocked him when I said 40 years ago. I was stuck and all I could think about was someone coming in during my confessing. I was rambling just as quick as I could when I got to the part about the boys. The Christmas with the boys had weighed heavily on me. I was drunk all day on Christmas and then had sex that was very....let's say not lady like. I think we had sex twice the next day. Anyway, if it had been any day but Christmas....I would have been OK with it. So I told the Priest that I had been drunk on Christmas and fornicated with two homosexual men. I immediately started saying that I wasn't a bad person and blah blah blah and somehow said that I would never commit adultery and blah blah blah. I finally stopped and shut up. He didn't say a word. Then he said something that to this day I wish I could remember. It was something like it is easier to go from the light to darkness but more difficult to find the light from the dark. I can't remember, then he informed me that adultery was any sex outside of marriage. I had thought adultery was having sex with a married man. He gave me my penance and when I got out of the church I did feel better. I'm sure he was shaking his head when I left.

I felt so much better that the next morning, which was a Sunday, I decided to go to church. It was within walking distance of my house. Being the not that great Catholic, after communion I am walking out the door while everyone is standing and walking back to their pew. I decided to grab a cup of coffee at the restaurant on the main street. As I was walking in the door I felt someone grab the door and hold it for me from behind. I waved at the owner whom I have known for years and asked for a table. I headed for the restroom. When I came out, the owner, with menu in hand led me to a table. There was a guy sitting at the table. I was stunned at first and then the guy said that he was a bad Catholic also and he walked in right behind me. He informed me that he didn't bite and being a nice looking guy, I sat down. Not two minutes with him, I knew it was Devine intervention. We sat and talked for 20 minutes before ordering and afterwards strolled around the downtown together.  He was also a professor, but in another college of the University. I gave him my phone number and that week we met for lunch at a middle eastern restaurant. I was scared at first, but it was actually very good. We attended a auction for the school together a couple weeks later and by that time I was ready to spend every waking hour with him. I know now a lot of that was because my ex was already married. He had kids and didn't want to introduce his children to women right off the bat. I was the same way and understood. Luckily, my daughter was in college and that wasn't as important anymore. He had two girls in high school and felt that they were impressionable. He didn't want to parade lots of women in front of them. It was difficult for me, as I was having to wait till every other weekend to physically see him. Actually, that was not all that correct. We did try to meet up at least once a week. We were both busy. However, when we were together, he was not coming on to me like I was wanting. I would give him hints like once we were walking down the street and it was a little chilly and I ducked into a store front entrance to get out of the wind. I was faking the chills hoping he would put his arms around me to warm me up. Nothing. I would confide in a girlfriend of mine and she told me that maybe he just needs a friend. Not what I wanted to hear.

One evening during the week, I got a call from him. He said he had forgotten some stuff in his office and was having to drive all the way back to his office. He said he was planning on watching his favorite reality TV show and now he would probably miss it. I told him I was sitting around with a glass of wine in my pajamas watching TV and he was welcome to watch it at my place. He said OK if it wasn't going to be an inconvenience. I was not sitting around drinking wine in my pajamas but sitting around grading papers. I got up and ran to open a bottle of wine, to put on some pajamas, hide the papers from class, etc.  My Micky Mouse pajamas were nowhere to be found. Finally, I get to my closet and I am going through everything to find something that even closely resembled pajamas to put on. I'm going through my drawer and then I see my negligee. Definitely could not wear that. All of the sudden the doorbell rings. I grab the negligee and put it on. I knew I could put my robe on over it and all would be OK and it would still appear that I was not doing anything of importance.

I open the door and let him in. He gives me a quick hug and then kind of stumbles with his speech and starts to apologize for intruding on me. I guess he thought I was ready for bed or something. He says he should probably go and that we can try to do something later next week. I told him I was OK and then he stopped and said that he needs to be honest with me. Usually not a good thing to hear. Then he says that he likes me but that he doesn't know how to act around women, he had only 2 girlfriends his whole life and that his marriage was a disaster. He didn't know if he should put his arm around me or hold my hand and that he was a complete mess around me.

I told him that I was not sitting around drinking wine in my pajamas and I told him the story of running around the house trying to get ready for him. I told him that I was grading papers and that I wanted him to come over. Then I told him that if he wanted to, he could kiss me. I'm thinking that it had been 7 or 8 weeks since we had coffee after church. In the time we had been together he had given me a peck on my cheek once and kissed me at the door several times when he was leaving, but nothing ever that would say, "I want you". That's it. He did come and kiss me kind of passionately and I remember thinking, finally ! We started watching his show on the sofa and at every commercial we would kiss a little more. By the 3rd or 4th series of commercials we were making out like high school kids and the robe that I had put on was constricting me like a venomous snake! I guess every time I would twist to be able to kiss him, the robe was twisting tighter around me. Towards the end of the show the robe was twisted around me so tight I couldn't take it anymore and while we were making out again, I got up, cursed my robe, let it fall to the floor and straddled his legs so I could get to his lips easily. I was so worked up by him. I got up and grabbed my robe when I heard the show was back on and sat back down beside him. When the show was over, he said he needed to get back and I immediately went to bed. I went in the bath to get ready for bed and hung my robe on the hook. That's when I noticed that the negligee I was wearing was the one the boys had given me for Christmas 2 years earlier. The one worn by more French whores than all others combined. I had forgotten all about putting it in the closet in place of the other one. I gave him enough time to get home and I called his apartment to apologize and tell him I was in a hurry looking for something to wear and I'm not trashy or something. He acted as if he hadn't paid attention and that he didn't notice anything. It made me feel better but I knew otherwise. When I went to pick up the robe off the floor, I didn't kneel down and pick it up, I bent over and got it. So a fifty year old with D-cups bending over in a see through negligee and he didn't notice anything ? I'm sure that was a sight.

Sometime during the next week he called me and said there was a festival in a town about 1 1/2 hours away and asked if I wanted to ride down there with him. He said we could leave at noon and we should have plenty of time to see everything by the time it was over, which at the time I thought was six o'clock.

I asked if he wanted to go earlier as there was a town with lots of antiques on the way and I was looking for an old roll top desk. As I think I mentioned, he got his kids every other weekend and two weeks had gone by since our make out session. It was difficult waiting that long to see him, although we did always meet for lunch on Tuesdays and had a date on the Thursday before he got his kids. Still, suggesting that we also shop for antiques would buy me a few more hours with him.

After an unsuccessful day looking for a desk we rolled into the festival at about two in the afternoon. By the time six o'clock rolled around we were both exhausted from being on our feet all day and were about ready to start our ride back. Then we noticed a big sign about this band from "our era". I think it was Three Dog Night or Stepenwolf or some band like that which was playing that night at the festival. The festival was not over at six like we thought and we talked about staying but that would put us coming back home at midnight or later. I suggested we could get a hotel room and that I would split it. We found a cheap room 10 miles away and decided to stay. I told him about the story of the confession and the priest and that I couldn't sleep with him. He was fine with that and getting a room with two beds made it easier not to be tempted.

We got to the hotel at about 10:30 and luckily we were able to get a couple tooth brushes from the hotel and he had bought me a T-shirt of the band to sleep in. We were all snuggled up in our individual beds when I got up to use the bathroom. I didn't see any harm in the two of us sharing a bed so when I came back out I blurted something like, "I can't remember which bed was mine". He moved over and opened up the covers. I crawled in backwards and made my way over for him to spoon me. We both did pretty good for a while resisting temptation. Then he started nibbling on my neck. We started making out again and before long he was pretty well established on second base. I wouldn't have stopped him if he wanted to go to third, but he didn't.

The next morning we both were up early. We both teach 7:00am classes so it is hard to ever sleep in. He said that he was going to take a shower and I was debating it also, but without a good brush and long hair, I was thinking I would just wash up in the sink. I was at the sink when he went into the shower and I told him that if he needed me to wash his back to just knock on the wall. I was still washing up when he opened the door and said he was ready for me to wash his back. I was a little caught off guard. I wanted him to say something like that, but I didn't think he would. It took me a while to decide what to do. I wanted this guy so badly. I stripped down and went in the bath. I told him to close his eyes and got in and went straight to him and buried my head in his chest. I don't think he thought I would do it. We just stood there under the water with our arms around each other for what seemed like an eternity. Then we were kissing and touching and grinding into each other. When he went back to second base with his lips, I reached down and started stroking his dick and he headed for third base. I let his fingers penetrate me but had to pull away before I got to worked up. I pulled him toward the middle of the tub, I pulled the shower curtain up a little and sat on the edge of the tub. I pulled him closer to me and began to give him a blowjob. I heard him moan and was quickly told that I was doing that at my own risk and shortly after he was screaming and cumming in my mouth. I think it took about three swallows to get it all down. I had wanted his cum in me for a long time. Being a professor I know better, however, I have always had this feeling that if I swallow a man's cum then part of his body becomes part of my body and that somehow we become physically connected. Probably not the case but you never know.

After that morning everything changed ! Thanks to Bill Clinton I did not have sex with him. So I was still okay with the adultery thing. We began seeing each other more during the week and he was much more affectionate towards me. So another funny incident I remember. It was a Friday afternoon and it was a weekend that he had his kids. Which meant that I wouldn't see him for a while. He texted me in the afternoon and asked where I was. I told him I was in the dungeon. That was my lab and office. My office had no windows and my lab which was about 20 x 20 had two vent well windows that were like 1 foot by 1 and a half feet way up at the top of the wall. He came over and I gave him the tour and we walked into my office where he immediately pushed me up against the wall and started kissing me. I was pretty hot and bothered and knowing I wouldn't see him for days I was wondering what was going to satisfy me. I still wasn't fucking him but every other weekend we were having slumber parties and doing anything and everything but having sex. I thought I would give him a blowjob in my office as nobody ever comes down there. I get on my knees and pull out his dick and start to suck him when I get this weird feeling. I got up quickly and told him to get his pants up. A half a minute later there are two knocks and the door is pushed open. It was the head of the department. No one had come down to that lab unexpected in years! I introduced the two of them acting like my boyfriend was a colleague and the two of us were in my office strictly on business. My boyfriend left and I told him I would be in touch in a very professional voice. The department head only needed me briefly and when he left I texted my boyfriend to meet me at my house if he wanted me to finish him off. I ripped off his pants as soon as he walked in.

I think it was the following weekend during one of our slumber parties when we were messing around before going to sleep.  We were talking about birth control during a lull in our fooling around. He said he had a vasectomy. That solved that. We started back to fooling around and I got on top of him and was grinding my pussy on his dick. I was soaking wet and somehow his dick slid in me and I pushed down to get it in all the way, then got off of him and did it again. That was about all I could take. I had done real well for probably 15 weeks but now I couldn't take it any more. If he hadn't had a vasectomy I probably would have made it a few more weeks. I jumped off of him and laid down and literally pulled him on me and begged him to fuck me. He jumped on me and stuck it in as fast as he could. Not being used to sleeping with each other I bet we woke up 3 or 4 times that night and each time he was back on top of me.

TBC

TBC