#or how often i just dont want to interact w something bc its clearly posted without permission
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im not gonna make this rebloggable bc its just two unrelated drawings slapped together in layout but like. i put them next to each other to play compare & contrast and ended up HURTING MY OWN FEELINGS... beyond looks even more in love when hes next to L ouch ouch ouch
#my art#death note#beyond birthday#l lawliet#another note#also im SOOO happy with the way they like... dont LOOK like each other in the face but do give off similar energies#goal achieved i lov them both sm#also the level of connection and interaction between these two when i didnt draw them w Intent For That To Be There#is making me so excited about how good KatH is gonna look whenever i actually draw it#like if i can do this on accident imagine how hard its gonna hit when i do it on purpose#ANYWAY im trying to post more frequently on here and more casually bc i just want to like!#make art and post art and talk about art#so posting little edits and stuff like this with commentary is something i might start doing more often! its fun i love to talk#also its v funny to me that you can see very clearly that i switched my sketching brush in the time between these two sketches lol#cool that they still match so nice tho!!!#oh i wanna add in the tags. was listening to my B.B. playlist while working on him obvs. and the MAIN song i had on repeat from it#was 'adams ribs' by jensen mcrae#'this love letter begins: to adam‚ from your ribs' and 'adam‚ will you claim me as your own' hit especially hard for them#but the whole song is just devastating in general for me... its SO much. it eviscerates me
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getting very tired of seeing nice art and then seeing that it was almost definitely posted without the artists permission
like you guys know just crediting or linking the source isnt enough right? you have to actually get permission too? i literally cant rb good art half the time bc it obvs isnt ops art and i cant trust anything that doesnt explicitly say it was reposted w permission
i feel like this is particularly bad w the fate fandom we need to be better about this and maybe not spread content from blogs who obviously dont get that okay from the artist
#uwu its not my art ill take it down if you ask me#yes im bitching bc i just found another blog that just goes#and doesnt clearly get permission to repost#its disrespectful to the artist and i hate how often i see this#or how often i just dont want to interact w something bc its clearly posted without permission#fate#fgo
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faction conflict soapbox, pt. 1
okay so it seems like for the most part, there are a couple consistent schools of thought here:
school 1: I'm tired of the Horde being the Bad Guy 24/7
school 2: I'm tired of faction conflict, in general
school 3: Really Deeply wish that the Alliance's crimes would actually be Addressed, At All
school 4: Nuanced Wild Card:tm: opinions that I'll have to tackle individually lmao
so let's get started, obviously this is going to be a long-ass post, so I'm going to preemptively break up my answers to these into separate posts, for readability and also for my own sanity lmao. this will be under my essay tag but also the tag faction conflict soapbox, for blacklisting reasons.
school 1: I'm Tired of the Horde being the Bad Guy 24/7
@lokaror: i dont tend to have much of it these days. But i hate the "Horde is always the bad guy" stuff. When faction war happens its rarely with too much nuance on either side. The group that is primarily outcasts banding together seemingly always having the bad apples chafes too. But i also see from alliance side that it can be just as raw the other way.
The alliance sprang up out of need to for mutual defense, and the horde is the horde because they also need mutual aid and defence. We can't really put too much real world ideals to either, but at its core its always a tinder that can be lit. No way around that.
@chryseis: Long time blood elf player! I still love the horde (even though most of my favourite lore characters are alliance lol) because it feels like more of a community than the alliance with their high king. However I'm getting super sick of the horde always being the bad guy, and the fact that blizz has used the same evil warchief plot twice! Having said that, some of my worst/funniest online interactions have been with men on twitter who play alliance and genuinely (1/2)
Believe that anyone who plays horde is a terrible war criminal and not someone playing a computer game lmao (2/2)
@arkhamarchitecture: Feels a lot like Blizzard can't resist making the Horde the villains and even when the Alliance does wrong, it gets written off and excused, like they're not allowed to be the bad guys. Which in turn makes a lot of Alliance players treat the Horde like Blizzard is biased in our favor just because the story is always about us? Even though the story is about our side apparently being full of godawful people? It's really infuriating.
I think a core issue w this is the way that the game often presents the Horde and its various characters without the same empathy that it gives to its Alliance characters (note I said "empathy" and not "nuance" or "character development," we'll get back to that later), so it's not that horde people are incapable of inspiring empathy or aren't empathetic themselves, clearly they are and have evoked that reaction enough from players to arrive at this conclusion, it's that the same sort of steps taken with portraying alliance characters aren't taken with horde characters. like, I've already covered this a bit in my sylvanas essay, but like, we're not really given any opportunity to understand what's going on inside her head, so the actions she takes feel nonsensical, unecessary, or even needlessly cruel, and seemingly as players interacting with this game we have to make a lot of extra effort in order to even attempt to understand it. like, example, the "before the storm" novel portrays her as this horrible, conniving, manipulative Evil Dictator, for not wanting to share vital information about azerite with a faction whose leader has effectively done nothing to curb the warmongering tendencies of its other leaders, when in fact, it's very understandable why she wouldn't wanna do this. But again, the author (Christie Golden, bc of course it is) very explicitly portrays her as Bad Bad Evil Zombie Lady for Daring to think that they can't trust the same faction that seems to take issue with the mere concept of the horde having the Audacity of thinking they Deserve to Live lmao. Like, clearly this is Happening, but's never talked about or formally addressed.
likewise, with Garrosh, our other Bad Bad Evil Dictator Warchief, despite all the weird, wretched, horrible shit he was doing, it unfortunately makes a really terrible kind of sense if examined further.
why did he turn away from the horde leaders? because they had all uniformly rejected him from the getgo. cairne said he'd never accept him, vol'jin said he'd kill him, sylvanas made it clear she would never respect his authority. all before he'd done a single solitary thing as warchief.
why did he turn to war so quickly and so strongly? because nothing else was working. thrall's horde had tried diplomacy for years, and it amounted to nothing, because no matter what he did, no matter how far the horde ran from the eastern kingdoms, the alliances wouldn't stop chasing them and trying to kill them. the alliance would never see them as actual people, they'd only ever see them as twisted monsters and bloodthirsty, mindless beasts.
why did he turn to such violent, inhumane methods? bc the entirety of his first real brush with warfare was in northrend, against the scourge, an enemy that will keep getting up again and again and again until they're utterly annihilated. and before that, all his experiences with conflict were with demons, who were similarly impossible to kill.
like, obviously none of these reasons make it okay for him to do what he had done. just because something is understandable, doesn't mean it's acceptable. but it's never portrayed as understandable. it's never addressed, at all. there is no nuance attached to any of his actions- it is only ever portrayed as Evil, as Manipulative and Conniving and Violent and Warmongering, even though there is a whole slew of reasons for how and why we got here. there is no emotionality, there is only cruelty.
edit: whoops, forgot a relevant ask. added now.
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Zenitsu should've had an arc where he slowly learns how to love himself with the help of his friends and realizes he's not weak and has worth and doesn't deserve pain and doesn't deserve to be treated like shit- I just want him to have some shred of confidence please please please please please ple-
ok so every time i had an ask like this ive always just said ‘but look at the bright side! what are hc and aus for! gotoge had problems,, etc etc’ and i feel like ive always just glossed u guys over and maybe even made it seem like these opinions dont matter so im gonna take the time to try and answer this a smidge seriously (under read more bc its long, also im not tagging bc tumblr might fuck up the formatting again rip) (also warning for manga spoilers)
(also disclaimer sdjfhksd i havent read the manga! so im gonna go off of other people’s claims about zenitsu having wasted potential. and to be fair ive read the few last chapters, or at least PARTS of them)
im not new to having a favorite character whose more or less claimed to have had a lot of potential but losing it in canon bc of, for a lack of a more general term, ‘’bad writing’’. and im not saying kny has bad writing, i dont think im one to judge that JUST yet but for comparison yall should know that i have a fav character in another series that is written so badly that he has the personality of cardboard and was only given life thanks to fanon content. and i dont blame people when they say they dont like said character! its the same as zenitsu, only that this guy, this yellow idiot, actually has a much more solid grasp on how he acts/feels/does things! but more often than not, this linear perspective does damage to how deep his character actually goes, thus just making him the stereotypical ‘pervert’ in an anime. ive seen people say that he’s just the same as mineta!!! which is just. very sad for me
i understand why they’d think like that though, maybe there wouldve been a difference if kny became more popular b4 bnha, but who knows! anyways, back to zenitsu. now, i understand if people ever found his actions uncomfortable or annoying! but when people say that he’s just a crybaby and that he’s literally just dead weight that’s when i get,,, well, iffy. and this is kinda where the frustration comes, we see zenitsu overcoming these obstacles off screen, apparently it was even only just mentioned in a passing comment that zenitsu had stopped having to fall asleep to do missions and cried less when he was going on solo missions. these are the tidbits that i wish was shown more explicitly in canon, showcasing his growth and such. MAYBE it was touched upon once kaigaku came up, but thats another problem, literally kaigaku only showed up once in a flashback and then suddenly he’s a demon? sure a brief flashback that showed him being in gyomei’s orphanage wouldve been enough to put some light, but i think there was still some things that wasnt touched upon when we discuss how kaigaku was portrayed in canon. i think he’s even MORE misunderstood compared to zenitsu. they have (arguably) been in the same situation in their childhood, have drastically different personalities and dealt with it in their own way, but in the end i think he was just used so that zenitsu had a big bad he had to defeat. i think there wouldve been more impact if we were shown thunder fam interacting more, imagine how cool that wouldve been, ESPECIALLY if kaigaku just wasnt thrown into the manga and was given a chance to interact with kamaboko before hand. just, a lot to think about.
and now we have what happened in the last few chapters, w tanjirou becoming a demon and after all that zenitsu just says something along the lines of ‘ill make u pay for hurting me and my future wife (nezuko)’ which sucks to a degree. but count the fact that gotoge was inching towards zennezu, as i mentioned in a previous post, he was worried about nezuko getting hurt by tanjirou. im also a bit disappointed that he didnt really do much in terms of, well, caring for tanjirou, but one GOOD thing that i really liked happening was in the previous chapters bEFORE tan got turned to a demon, the part w him assuring inosuke that he can still hear tanjirou’s heartbeat, and then consecutively screaming at tanjirou that he had to stay alive, he went as far to say that he hears nezuko’s human heartbeat and that he has a family to return to, which was, surprise surprise, apparently somewhat a LIE! i cant confirm this unfortunately since ive long since lost the explanation but someone said that zenitsu wasnt actually able to hear nezuko’s heartbeat then, meaning he lied for tanjirou’s sake bc he knew that if he’d pull through something, he’d pull through it for nezuko. (there’s also that part where zenitsu fought hard to keep this family alive since well, he doesnt have one to return to, which is just. ouch) another thing i liked about this part is that he wasnt!!! crying!!!, but both inosuke and tanjirou were and dont u just love the irony. dont u just love it when zenitsu, resident crybaby of the demon slayer corps, is the one who shouts at the both of his friends, who are usually the ones pushing him, yelling at him to stop sniveling and fight, to raise their chins up and to not give up? i think these few moments are JUST ABSOLUTELY TASTY.
but. unfortunately, they are glossed over once we have what happened in chapter 203.
tl/dr; zenitsu’s character is something much more than a crybaby who’s a pervert and annoying. these points overshadow the fact that he’s a kind person, who was willing to protect nezuko despite knowing she was a demon just BECAUSE he trusted tanjirou that much and that he had a kind sound! he’s willingly THROWN HANDS when someone talked bad about kaigaku, a person he ADMITTED HE HATES, because he respects them as a person! zenitsu is much more than a crybaby who’s a pervert and annoying. if only canon were able to explain much more clearly than these few tidbits that we were given.
//im crying at the club im so sorry this is so long oh god oh fuck. anyways ive been disappointed time and time again and ive long since really stopped looking forward to the best to my fav characters and ive been p negative in previous fandoms so its why i avoided complaining like this in this blog but yeah kjfhkjsdf thank u for reading,,,
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edit sorry this post is both long (if the readmore fails i am truly truly sorry) & longwinded im just reflecting and thinking; (another edit: u can probably just read the tl dr and get it)
anyway allow me to spin some very personally based theory here for a mo while i put off/warm my fingers up from the cold in preparation to email my therapist
so growing up i had, i think only, het ships, but i never quite had the ones you were (narratively speaking) “supposed to” have
in most media i recall when i was a kid, there were like, 2 diff structures of character romance plot arcs in media i consumed, there was the main lead and 2 best friends model, where thered be the star of the show who had outside romantic leads and the 2 best friends (who were always a boy and a girl) would have their secondary romance, OR there were ensemble shows where there was a more clear romance set up between the main boy and main girl, then side characters whod pair off in whatever ways ended up happening. in the first, see: hannah montana, the second, see: zoey 101. obv this isnt a hard rule and there were loads of exceptions but like, lets just say i tended not to care for the romances set up for the main girls in the trio models, or quite as hard for the main boy and girl in the ensembles, and in general if there was an obvious romance between two leads i either didnt care or outright hated it
basically i never liked the ships they set up for us in straight media, as a kid (namely, a girl) i liked being that “ew pink!” “i hate valentines day” sort of contrarian, but what i remember actually disliking was the predictability of it, because i clearly still shipped characters, so it wasnt /really/ that i hated romance, per se
looking back on it i think it was probably or at least to a degree more like that i hated the hetero expectation of it- i can nit pick down to more specific examples of why i disliked the main pairings (kataang, for example, i thought was weird bc katara acted like a mother/older sister figure to aang, and i didnt feel like there was romance between them at all except where it felt shoehorned in) - maybe it was also that i thought it made more sense for a main character to be with someone they clearly already spent a lot of time with and not some random new hot boy in town (i very distinctly remember shipping miley and oliver on hannah montana, and i believe that was the first time i ever read fanfiction @ age like... 11 lol) as is often the case w like these things.
theres another level to this though, which is that i notice i tended to ship characters who were more vaguely similar to each other, like, physically (ie, similar heights, or hair colors mainly) obviously this is funny now since my main pairing is johnlock which is such a physically different ship we can construct them from basic shapes and colors and theyre still recognizable as who they are, but i have some thoughts about this- but i think there might be two interesting things about this again in retrospect
first of all, this sounds silly ik, but shipping the vaguely similar ones as a child’s way of queering heterosexuality is an interesting concept and not that difficult, like, two boys are also vaguely similar to each other in a similar way a boy and a girl with the same hair color and height might be, which is something i thought of a while ago
the other way in which this is really interesting to me now, that i think might have been more actually pertinent to myself as a trans child, is that i think i shipped the characters i did in an attempt to morph the concept of boy and girl? to find the boy counterpart to every girl??? that second one makes more sense actually. anyway, i digress
2 start off i definitely had gender feelings starting from a very young age so i think these observations ring more true than just reflections, PERHAPS
so the first thing i remember shipping, ie wanting them to be together, thinking about it an inordinate amount of time outside watching the films, even imagining them eating ice cream together in their pjs (i was NINE DHFJGghfkg) was jack sparrow & elizabeth swan from potc (basically my franchise of choice as a kid bc i never read harry potter) now this doesnt quite fit the “visually similar” thing bc actually orlando bloom looks more like kiera knightly and is prob due to them like making out in one movie, but i think this works for the “shipping as gender expression” theory, because elizabeth swan dressed up as a boy, spent most of that movie wearing boy’s clothes, etc- meanwhile jack was a wacky pirate which like hello duh i’d want to be. so i wonder if beyond the fact that they kissed and flirted, there was something to this concept of me wanting two characters to be together, meant i wanted to marry together two conceptual things happening with two characters, or absorb the cool dude and the boyish girl characters into each other to make one whole archetype for myself? i likewise shipped aang and toph (toph who, normally doesnt really have anyone to be shipped with, since she likes sokka but he has a gf) who we all know is the VERY boyish girl character, so boyish im p sure her actually being a trans dude later in life is a p decently accepted headcanon (i dont actually delve into aatla fandom though so i can only hope)
another thing about this ship thing, is most of my ships had brown hair (like miley and oliver), just like i always have, and in certain cases the girl character would look a LOT like me (i also shipped logan and quinn on zoey 101, which to my surprise n delight actually came true later (although looking back im like... 11 yr old me is glad they made out a lot but adult me is like uhhh why were the kids on this show making out a lot? anyway thats another issue) and i def was a weirdo girl with glasses and long brown wavy hair) which sort of further fuels my feeling that this was an attempt by my brain to do 1 of 2 things, if my own involvement really was a greater motivating factor in this thing, 1. ship MYSELF with a boy (which is like def possible for my gay kinnie ass, but not quite my thesis here) or 2. morph these boy and girl counterparts by imagining them together, seeing them together, etc
for example, i realize now, when i was a kid i drew an avatar sona for myself and said sona looked an awful lot like how id imagine a katara/zuko fusion would be, and the fact that i shipped zutara (very hard lol) was what lead me down this thought path rn
i feel like even to me this concept sounds weird and far fetched but like, gem fusion made enough sense for someone to write with its clearly, usually, romantic implications and we all “get” that, so whom knows???
another thing ive noticed while writing this is for a good few of these ships you can argue the boys in them can be read gay, like jack sparrow and zuko and aang, which feels even more strongly like me trying to marry my gay boy feelings to my tomboy realities [thinking emoji]
the biggest reason i think this makes sense to me is because when i was 10 i became obsessed with the idea that this boy i was friends with and i were secretly twins separated at birth, like i was so into the concept that we looked alike, i like hoped and wished so hard for it to be true, i wished a christmas miracle would happen for fucking real and a magic door in my house would open and be his new room and itd all work out perfectly! and you might think this was a manifestation of my difficulties with my family and wishing to leave it, but in my dream world my parents were still my parents and he came to live with us- which makes me think the obsession of ME looking like this BOY was a manifestation of my gender feelings, which i think can maybe be traced to this concept of pairing a visually similar, possibly gay, brunette boy to every brunette and/or tomboyish girl
anyway. if you actually read all of this id love it if you lmk somehow (doesnt need to be a like) like this is clearly very long and strange but i hope it makes sense. i think i stop myself a lot from ever commenting on gender or theory or whatever but i am a living breathing trans person who has experienced things and i have opinions and i dont think im claiming anything destructive with this lol i think its not unusual to reflect on the way you interacted with the world as a gay/trans kid
also im obviously not saying that shipping straight things is somehow inherently queer, im not trying to retroactively claim something about straight ships, like, those two characters are still functionally straight, and i definitely also shipped probably all of them for normal shipping reasons (although, kid ones, so less “oh theres a lot of ACTUAL romantic subtext between these two” but rather “oh theyre friends and would be cute together!” (or like they kissed and i was like O: )) but im just trying to theorize about something its possible my tiny trans brain was trying to express- and who knows maybe im not the only one!
anyway i guess the TL;DR is: when i was a kid i had a lot of “unconventional” straight ships- i already observed that i eschewed the main canon pairings in kids media in what was probably my tiny baby brains rejection of hetero culture, but i also actively shipped side characters who looked like me, and also looked like each other (ie, both tall and brunette, a boy and girl counterpart of Each Other) OR characters who seemed to be a gayish boy and a tomboyish girl, and im theorizing that maybe the reason that was was my tiny trans brain wanting to gem fusion those two together because of my Gender Feelings and fuse the boy with the girl and this desire manifested in shipping therefore thinking about a lot these pairings of boy and girl counterparts
#please dont be weird about this post i hope its like understandable what im trying to think about here?#like i dont think its that weird to consider nor am i claiming anything bad or destructive about ppls lives n genders n whatever#purely an observation about myself and the way i consumed media ages like 8-12#in reflection as a gay/trans adult and thinking about what those things might have potentially been expressing or something#i dont know any official queer theory stuff n i dont think that should stop me from thinking my own thoughts so here u go#also i am TRULY sorry if this readmore doesnt work
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so i’ve reached a milestone . ive loved luke ever since i first watched the movies when i was seven years old and??????honestly my love for him hasn’t changed????? having said that , my love and understanding for his character would not have been where it is now without you guys. im just so grateful and balled over at the talent , creativity , and passion of everyone i follow and idk expressing emotions is not my strong suit so uhhhhhhhh yeahhhhhhhh ilu<333 im way too adh.d for this i stg ZOOM ZOO M TO THE SPECIAL MENT I O N S
THE BLUE MILK ( the duplicates --- some id consider friends )
ooOooOh boy . you guys i cant even bE GIN to explain my love for y’all . i have the biggest duplicate angziety in the world . its in my nature i cant help it and honestly??????/all your interpretations terrify me bu t in a good way i promise bc theyre all so unique and well thought out and amazing and what makes it even wor S E is that all of you ( even the ones that i dont speak to all that often ) are the sweetest, most talented , sensitive , passionate individuals ive met online????? EV E R. also all these comments are genuine not sarcastic aslkjaksdnasl (forgive me im british i thin k everything sounds sarcastic)
@horizonwept : charlie????mY. G OD. your understanding and enthusiasm of our Son is unparalleled and?????? ik we dont speak that much recently b u T I WANT TO MORE????? everytime you post something i press mah lil face up to the screen and weepe t h . you’re also kind and funny and people just????? love u?????AND I lov e u too????? al SO you convinced me of lukes characterisation in tlj and tfa and honestly????im so s O glad u did<3 everythign u post is just so thought out and intelligent and i just. wish. i could do wht u do??? keep being amazing sweaty :’) @lstjedi : KAY!!!!!!! the founder of the lu k e slywalker group chat *g a sps* mah love. now i know youve been feeling a lil insecure recently about ur age and ur mental health has been acting up (belief me i know<3 ) b u T HUN NN Y listen up: you ar e the symbol of dont-judge-by-age policy bc honestly???? u have the skill, dedication, and maturity of people who are twice ur age. ur passion????? unbelievable. ur kindness????? one of a kind. ur maturity?????? uhhhh more than me. ur writing???? delicious. if youre feeling insecure about your age, dont. you are amazing and talented and dont u d A RE forget it<3 edit: also i love how you come onto the chat being the first person to talk and ur like ‘hi guys!!!’ and idk i just find u really sweet and friendlyasjdna,nda @skyhcpped : ro!!!!!!! henlo there my frond. first of all wh ERE DO U FIND ALL THESE MEMES?????? im loving it keep going. we havent spoken much b U T the groupchat has brought us Together and thats the best thing ever bc i think ur just?????? so talented and ur understanding and love for luke (eveninmemes) is unparalleled. i love talking about our mutual Hate for re/ylo and a L SO i hope ur not still freezing on hoth?????if you are cold, wrap up warm, grab urself a hot chocolate if u like that sort of thing, run a bath, uhhhhhhhhh create a pillow fort, find a tauntaun and sit inside it. that was my survival lecture thanks for coming to my ted talk :))))) also the fact u are. literally. daredevil???? taking a s hot of vinegar and terrified a boy??? my hero, mah idol. i did a reverse thing where i dared (2) boys to take a teaspoon of vanilla essence and they did it (s o empowering ;)
@lightswept : riceeeeee. honestly how can anyone ever hate you???? we havent been talking for v long but omgskdnf you are so sweet and lovely and u deserve The World????? haters need to back tf up bc u are so Pu re. and ur also really attentive????? your writing is just so fluent and honestly??a full course meal. remember that i love and appreciate you and thats NEVER going to change<333 if u ever need to talk, i am always here even tho im shit at advice i will send u metaphorical cake and hugs xoxo
@hopegave : mY ITALIAN BEAN. look at us europeans yesiknowbrexit, awake when all the ‘muricans are sleep i n g asljdaksl ur honestly adorable??????like i cant even begin?????on the group chat youre so enthusiastic and capiTAL LETTERS and asjaklsdlka so Pu re??? and both of us gushing about snow ??????? iconic, truly. you, being the first person to call ne w york hoth????? also iconic. ITALY IS ONE OF MY FAV PLACES ON EARTH I GO THERE A LOT IN THE SUMMERASFJHSD b U T thats off topic. what i need to say is that ilu and ur enthusias m and friendliness and yeah?????? stay awesome
@dualsuns : LIAM IDK WHY IM TELLING U THIS BUT WHENEVER I THINK OF U I THINK OF WINE??????? m aybe its bc ur prose is so damn sophistica t e d????? its so fluent and makes s o much sense???? ur so good at narrating lukes thoughts its so obvious you have this amazing understanding of his character its !!!!!!!! and i seriously admire that/? like your voice is uhhh h on point . i can tell you take this seriously and care so much about luke (boi me too) and it shows???? in all ur hcs and ooc posts its all backe d up with quotes, love and analysis like damnnnnnnnn. i know ive only really interacted w you a couple of times in passing but id love to more????? ur amazing everythings amazing wow<3
@didntturn : hmm mMMMM Mm kylie. have we ever spoken????? i dont think so. i just admire u from afar :’) g U RL first of all ur hilarious???? idk i think we’ve got a similar sense of humour aklsdnanm its very british. also ur hcs t a KE MY BREATH AWAY. so muc h detail and love????? u clearly have a deep understanding of luke only us mere mortals can d REA M of<3 hope we can start talking bc i uhhhh adore ur characterisation and id love to discuss????? idk im gushinggggggg
THESE ARE ONLY SOME DUPLICATES I COULD GUSH ABOUT EVERY SINGLE ONE OF U UNTIL THE DAY I DI E
THE DROIDS ( mah main cretins )
@guiltslut : yh idk who u ar e :/ j K BINCH IK UR WENDO!!!!! mah main cretin :’) youve been by my side for 8 months (or was it seven???? i cant rememberasdkajsdk) which is an,, ,, , achievement. your writing is tasty af and ur enthusiasm unparalleled. i will always love and appreciate you<3
@smuglr : i have to put u on here bc we’ve known each other for over a year and thats kinda mcCrazy??? im sorry i havent kept in touch as much as i probably should have, but im more sorry for making u think i was on bath salts when i was quoting bad lip reading :/ honestly ever since the beginning ive admired ur prose so much???? its so good and attentive and poetic and fluent i just???? could gush about it all weak tbhhhhhh your graphics and aethetics are also ?????? amazing?????? im so happy that i know u and even after all this time i still love and appreciate u<33 Stay groovy mah frond
@primdoe : sO ik i havent known u for very long at all n this is probably like?????? a lil Extra?????? but im already in love. i could gush about ur oc for Yonks and just how passionate and attentive you are to her????? shes so detailed and cared about by many and you inspire me to put more detail into my own ocs askdjasmnd???? ur graphics and ps skills are just????? they water my crops honestly???? and the fact that you gave me one of your psds is the sweetest ilu??
SPACE SHIPS ( the i-admire-from-afar-but-also-interracted-with-in-the-ims-and-loVING IT-so-far-even-tho-im-shit-at-replying???? category )
@aequitia , @astrmech , @awokeforce , @baelnc , @deadlymarch , @elanere , @hopehrt , @rystolo , @scintist , @sunworn .
SUNSETS ( the i admire and havent interacted with yet *__* )
@dynste , @entropiet , @ersoic , @flypulse , @forcebled , @galasymph , @greysistance , @jaigsight , @midlapse , @tiefighting , @resistijo , @roseared , @starkniight , @theforcetm , @rotichor , @scorpyre .
#ik ive missed a to n#b U T if ur my mutual then#hmu :*#this too k me all da y#but i need everyone to know that yall water my harvest<3#✫ * . THIS IS THE DOLLAR STORE . HOW GOOD CAN IT BE ? / * OUT .
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actually here are more 3 am meat feelings
my prevailing thought about meat, which will probably sustain throughout candy and probably the rest of this week if not my life, is that john egbert died and none of his friends (beyond terezi) know about it. none of them know. he fucking died and his last words were a love confession to a girl who he doesnt even really know. john egbert died. he is probably not coming back and, even if there was a ‘’chance’’, he has been summarily dismissed from the narrative.
john egbert died trying to be a hero even after we were told he wasnt special and he is dead!! he died and he didnt get to reconnect with the betas or the alphas even, didnt really work through any of his depression. he fucked terezi (suRe?) and tried to tell her loved her and fucking died. i am, literally, never going to be over it.
hgshss aside from that i actually liked the ending more than I thought? The middle was extremely touch and go for me--there were moments I liked and then something would happen that I’d get upset about and the cycle continued-- but I thought the last few chapters were interesting and genuinely enjoyable. basically i love kanaya maryam so fucking much and i was so glad to see her be herself again ashjsj i lovE her.
Seeing the characters get motivated to work together and stop Dirk was a surprisingly optimistic conclusion for an ending that was clearly obsessed with misery. I didn’t expect that kind of ‘call to action’ that occurred, but I was glad to see it. Despite that and despite the post-scripts, I don’t think theres going to be anything after this. Alt-Calliopes last words in meat made it seem, to me, that any kind of additional work was to fall into the reader’s hands, in fanwork or w/e. or, at least, I supremely doubt hussie will be involved in anything going forward. there are still things left open, and new questions wrt dirk and the bots and the new session, but I feel like this was all meant to stir up investment in hs as a property, as a place to think about and create work for and pay attention to (and buy friendsims), but not as a piece of ongoing media. we have been compelled to think about homestuck for a while longer, but I’m not sure we will be reading new content again--or at least not for a while. (maybe candy will change my mind, though? so many ppl seem SO sure that there will be more and I dont know why besides wishful thinking)
not even sure if id really want more, unless it was like a 10 chap sequence about a secret middle route where john doesnt die, vrisrezi 4 real, and a normal dirk receives therapy and like chains ultidirk to the ocean floor or something. all the betas hang out regularly, but specifically rose and jade have one fucking conversation at least.
(actually the concept of a like theatre of coolty-esque all-dirk showdown is. good. ultidirk/teen dirk/hal/brain ghost try to out-monologue each other and then fight)
(actually actually jake kills ultidirk with his bare fucking hands to get some retribution for the bullshit that happened to him)
obviously obviously obviously I still have big issues with stuff. i hate that jakes main character trait is being sexualised and manipulated and the narrative still just makes him out to be the fucking dumbest shallowest idiot. why cant jake get like.....any depth at all....why cant there be an acknowledgment of how fully traumatized he must be at this point?? also i cant get behind johnrezi, tbh, tho i think theyre written well. beyond my full devotion to scourge sisters, they didn’t even talk that much, and most of their convo was tz dictating her plan to john to get the love of her live back. it isnt like they hung out all that often???? before that, their most notable interaction was when terezi tricked john into dying for a joke. why is john obsessed with these two girls he barely spoke to, who are both in love with other people?? (might be worth thinking about further) i dont like that 99% of the time roxys transness was brought up only to have someone near by be a fucking dick about it. Jane: become fascist is still really bizarre to me. i still think some of the HEAVY focus on meta commentary is a bit of a drag.
overall i think this whole ‘exploration of the ugly bad awful shit’ was certainly that. we got meat, we got high plot/action/drama. bad things happened and everyone was miserable and disconnected and awful to each other. narrative relevance through trauma/pain/violence. I really thought it was going to end with some kind of tpk, so this kind of vaguely optimistic pseudo-cliffhanger was better than I really expected it to be. I’m holding off on like sweeping estimations until after candy, but I still am not sure what the point of having everything be THIS open ended is if not for a sequel and im not sure what the focus on ‘releasing narrative responsibility from the singular author/interpretation’ is doing if not directly precluding a sequel. so idk. onto candy, i guess. we’ll see how this all goes.
(I hate ultidirk as much as the next girl ESPECIALLY for what he did to kan and for being just like....the worst during johns death but like. im dumb im dumb and bad and part of me wants dirk redemption in some form, ideally in another splinter obvi. i was extremely horrified and resistant to big villain dirk but after reading his later thoughts i get it more than I thought I would and its all very interesting. I also, like a lot of others, am entertained by the image of him cavorting around like a sailor moon villain or something)
(i don’t love the weird convo that was kind of trying to excuse/react to the Incest Commentary Drama and I would have paid to have it removed but w/e)
(ALSO THE FUCKING ‘COSMIC LOVE’ VRISREZI BIT I. I !!?! TEREZI LOVES VRISKA SO MUCH. SHE LOVES HER S MUCH GUYS. SHE LOOKED FOR HER FOR FUCKING YEARS IN HER POV AND ALMOST DIED BC SHE DIDN’T WANT TO GIVE UP HDSHA LET THESE GIRLS KISS IM SO FUCKING SAD.
HOMESTUCK IS ABOUT VRISREZI RIGHTS ONLY. I ONLY CARE ABOUT TWO GIRLS AND HOW MUCH THEY LOVE EACH OTHER. GOD IM IN HELL GOD GOD GOD THEYRE IN LOVE!!!!! )
#this has been a text post#homestuck#homestuck epilogue#im cralwing through this epilogue bc im busy but also bc i ahve to take lengthy breaks to fucking calm down
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