#or honestly how much has *changed* in such a short period of time good god

[not-poignant]

Daily excerpt from today's writing, chapter 18 of A Stain that Won't Dissolve:

Sebastian's smile was so warm. Then he rocked back and forward on his hips and sighed.  'Not to target you while you're still recovering or anything, but I really think we should talk about high school. It just seems like... It just seems like that's between us actually becoming friends, or whatever.' 'Like you want to be friends with someone like me,' Alex said, finding the whole thing darkly funny.  'That's just it, why wouldn't I? Like, actually, when you're not putting me down for being gay - which...is a whole other thing - or being a nerd, or being whatever, you're actually just an interesting, quiet guy. Why wouldn't I want to be friends with you?'  Alex couldn't think of what to say. Embarrassingly, there was a voice in his head shouting: Sebastian thinks I'm interesting! 

[cutepastelstarsalior]

Screw it, just like Hazbin, I’m going to review Hellava boss.

Pilot

Ok, so the pilot was made in 2019???? Wow…Starting off strong, the first thing is a cartoonish drawn “content warning” that the show has swears. Honestly I feel like if they wanted the content warning to be taken seriously, while also having it be based off a drawing, it could have been really cool? Like with some cartoon tiles, shows have the titles change fonts or add special effect. If they just made the warning more in depth, it would be fine. But since they didn’t, it feels a bit mocking?

Richard Horvitz???? The VA for Invader Zim??? WHAT ARE YOU DOUNG HERE??? :0

You can really hear the difference btween professional VA vs new ones. Richard tone sounds more deeper then the others, and his words made more pronounced. While Millie’s and Blitzo’s VA are more softer and quiet.

The animation is fine, a bit fluid in some place, a bit stiff in others. I do like the color palette, compared to Hazbin, the colors aren’t an eye-straining red.

The Imps are a group of hired assassins! That’s a really cool concept!

The humans in this world are a bit jarring when they’re next to the Imps. The humans doctor has a thicker lineart then the Imps, so he stick out more awkwardly

I don’t like Loona’s design. Every time she looks forward, her muzzle is short and squish and her head shape is off.

Blitzo slept with Stolus (is that his name?) to get the book to take them to the human world. Interesting thing, but man that bird guy is a bit of a creep.

The pacing of this show is a bit off, it starts when the Imps talking, then it shows the musical ad, then it cuts to them hitting a child and taking said child to the hospital. Then it goes back to them talking, then it’s a montage about Loona, then that cuts to Blitzo getting the book and that bird guy, now it’s back to the Imps talking.

I like Moxxie. He a a very snarky dude. He also sets boundaries and telling Blitzo that stalking him and Millie is not appropriate. Though him calling Luna a meth addiction homeless women is….bad.

😬😬 R slur.

The child that they took to the hospital is ok. But then the kid calls them out and…eugh left a bad taste in my mouth. It felt like the kid was rude to be shock value? That with the onscreen death and disembodied of said kid?

One thing I didn’t like besides the ending was that amount of cursing. It’s much tone down from Hazbin, (I think? I can’t remember).

Scale of 1-5, I give this a 4. It’s pretty good!

Episode 1

The first episode was released in 2020, that pretty impressive. I don’t know a lot about indie animation, so I don’t know if having a show be picked up a a year after the pilot is a good thing or not.

Another content warning! This one more official, well beside the “horny humans and horny demons” part…

Oh my god is this whole show going to have a musical scene???

The animation is much more fluid now!

Oh wow…..OH wow. Ok so this teacher, she was at work, a one of her students reminded her that today is her husband’s birthday. So she had the children…call him on the computer? Skype?? I’m guessing this was in a time period that didn’t have phones.. But the teacher saw her husband having an affair. She left, after throwing a child out the schools roof, and murder the women. She saw the computer was still on, then I think killed herself??? Anyway the children will definitely be traumatized after that.

Oh the women survive the shooting. But she was claimed as a hero and got a lot of money out of it???

Moxxie is hesitating about killing an entire family. While Millie seems fine with it. I just since she’s a demon, she doesn’t care that much for human? It interesting that they made Moxxie like this? In the pilot he was just a snarky jerk..

THERE FIREFIGHTERS IN HELL???? man they must be paid a lot of money, since hell has a lot of fires. Or are they worked too much?? I’m curious about how the hell works in this show..

Oh, the family are cannibals. Also I’m getting MAJOR Residents Evil Biohazard vibes..

The color palette for when Blitzo was running in the forest is very pretty. Nice purples mixes with red. And Stolas’s bathroom is very pretty too. Thought I don’t like his new voice, it’s to high pitched for me.

“Stolas is a Great Prince of Hell, commands twenty-six legions of demons. He teaches astronomy and is knowledgeable about herbs, plants, and precious stones. He is often depicted as a raven or a crowned owl with long legs” that what’s Wiki says. So Stolas is like, an adviser? What is his job?? One a month on the full moon, Stolas wants the book back and to have him and Blitzo…have sex? Company? Then Blitzo can have the book for the rest of the time….I don’t know how that deal is efficient..

Fire can’t hurt demons, but they can get hurt when shot at…interesting.

Moxxie lets the family life and just called the police to have them deal with it. That���s sweet. I always think shows that have supernatural or villains characters having a heart of gold or a soft spot is a cool tropes.

Yeah, this is a dark comedy.

Scale out of 5, I give this a 3. It was fine, the art was pretty and I love the teacher.

episode 2

Stolas has a baby! Octavia, she cute. Him singing her a lullaby is sweet. And the scenery is very beautiful, I love the colors. Stolas’s VA has a beautiful singing voice..It’s funny when a character has a different voice when they’re singing vs when they’re speaking…

Oh, so it seems like the family isn’t good. Stolas is having an affair, and the mother is very angry about it. Stolas decided to take his daughter out to a theme park, but he wants Blitzo to come?? Also Blitzo wants to have a three way with Millie and Moxxie….hmmm.

Lucifer has a theme park?? Since this world takes place in Hazbin Hotel…when did Lucifer do that?? Also, is hell just full of imps and some higher princes/demons? Humans that died? Did Moxxie, Millie, and Blitzo die? ALOS WHY ARE THERE DEMON CHILDREN??? Are they human kids who died or are they like, born into hell??

Alex Brightman WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE????????

Wejdnwdjicnwkejcnkwedjnwendjwkednwide robot clown….i love you….

Hmmmm.

The robot clown did a small parody of Charlie’s song from Hazbin Pilot. Makes me wonder what the timeline of this show..

I don’t know why but I need to keep talking about the colors in this show. THIS SHOW ISN’T EYE HURTING RED!! THERE GREEN AND BLIES AND IT LIKE AN ACTUAL THEME PARK I LOVE IT.

Octavia ran away and Stolas finds her and there talking. “Are you gonna run off with him and leave me behind? Go away where I can’t find you?”

OW. Poor Octavia I know what that kind of feels like. (Divorce parents, but thankfully no affairs.) it’s scary when your a kid and you think that one of you’re parents is going to abandon you. In Octavia case, her dad is flirting with Blitzo even when she’s in the room, so the doubt in her mind must be very hard to handle. Especially since Stolas can turn people into stone, so he really doesn’t need Blitzo to be there. He just wants the picture perfect family he created in his mind.

Scale of 5, I give this a 3.

[acaplaya-musings]

Voiceplay Visuals: Warriors

I feel like this cover (released on the 21st of March, 2020) was a little bit slept on for a while (by myself as well), and probably didn't get a little more attention till after Nothing Else Matters, but it's a good video and amazing arrangement, and it currently sits at a very respectable 2.1 million views.

I wasn't actually sure how much I would have to say about this video from a purely visual standpoint, but given the setting and the outfits and everything, I would feel bad for not including it, so here we go!

The origins of Violayne! (See maybe if more people were familiar with Warriors, maybe they wouldn't have been as shocked by Nothing Else Matters! 😝) (also J plays the violin in this one as well!)

I was gonna wait till a group shot to show each of their outfits, but I'll give at least some of them individual shots; I don't expect this to be a long post anyway.

Earl has a slightly different hairstyle to his usual one I think?

I don't know what Eli is wearing on his arms but they look cool! Also cool hood thing!

Even in a post-apocalyptic setting, Geoff is still wearing the necklace that Kathy gave him, bless <3

(Also what's up with the little pale lines/markings under his eyes? Earl has them in this video too (see above), so does Layne, and Eli I'm pretty sure, and maybe J as well? I'm guessing it was a deliberate makeup choice for some reason or another?)

It's so far been kinda tricky to get a decent screencap of Layne playing violin but man he looks so genuinely cool doing it. Bit of a change from his usual "class clown" demeanour/role in videos! (Also hey he's got textured stuff on his arms similiar to what Eli is wearing!)

Time for another Geoff Hair Study!

His hair is not as flat as I first thought it was in this video, but it definitely still has a little bit of a different vibe to it, y'know?

Did Layne snap a bowstring or something during the filming or this or does it just look/sound that way?

I definitely sense a theme going on with the outfits here

(Also only just noticed the roses on Geoff's ripped jeans. Cute!)

Fun fact: this is the only video where Layne takes centre position when all the vocalists are positioned in a line. He's not singing in this one, but he is playing the violin while beatboxing at the same time, and honestly that's even more impressive

Apparently this was shot at some place called "Best Shot Studios Warehouse", and I'm guessing the graffiti was already there?

Also, thanks to me paying closer attention to video credits and watching a lot of Voiceplay videos in a very short time period, I only just figured out that the person who did costuming for this video (a person named Tanya Buzu, of Buzu Designs), also did the costuming for Voiceplay's Oogie Boogie video! Shoutout to her!

Cool video!

I showed this video to a friend of mine a week ago, who knew the original song (I don't), and they really loved it and said Voiceplay totally did it justice! (Of course, as if we would expect anything less!)

So yeah, a shorter post, but I also wanted to do this video because this is the last video I will be covering that features Earl (no I won't be doing I Will Survive or Just Sing. Because(tm).) Very sad that he left the group, he was a great tenor and provided a lot of really funny moments in the videos, but hey, it's not like Voiceplay fell flat without him! My god I've got some big videos ahead of me!

[universalcas]

🌻 tagged by @castiel (thanks darling <3) like a decade ago to talk about 8 shows as a way to get to know me better (in no particular order) 🌻

1. Sherlock BBC:

yeah, i know what you are going to say: "that explains a lot about your mental state" and I will answer: "you are absolutely right, my love". I joined tumblr because of this show, right in the middle of the hiatus between season 2 and 3 when I was happy and innocent and the world was beautiful and bright and full of possibilities. I become obsessed with London because of it for a short period of time.

2. Hannibal:

"Achilles wished all Greeks would die, so that he and Patroclus could conquer Troy alone. It took divine intervention to bring them down"

Bryan Fuller owns me, as a human being. This show changed my DNA to the point that I haven't been able to write horror stories without having some scenes from the show in my mind. It's darks, and twisted and incredibly poetic. It has some heavy dose of art (s2 my beloved) and the relationship between Hannibal and Will Graham it's one of the most beautiful and erotic things I've seen portrayed on tv.

3. Good Omens:

I was terrified when Amazon announced that one of my favourite books was going to be adapted to tv. I didn't wanted anyone to touch it because I didn't want anything that had Terry Pratchett's (I miss him everyday) name on it to be tainted by the greedy hands of capitalism but oh boy how incredibly mistaken I was. Good Omens is my happy place, the show I always come back when I'm not feeling my best (and I'm actually excited for a completely made up season 2). It has the story, the funny characters (John Hamm as Gabriel my beloved) Tennant and Sheen are the perfect Crowley and Aziraphale and their chemistry it's just insane in every sense of the word.

4. Black Sails:

"A story is true, a story is untrue. As time extends, it matters less and less. The stories we want to believe, those are the ones that survive"

I don't know what to say about this show without risking a spoiler and I really doesn't want to spoil it to you if you haven't watched the show. If this is the case, go make yourself a favor. It's full of pirates, love, violence and righteous fury. And probably the most iconic characters I've seen in a while.

5. Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell:

A one season show from a +1000 pages book. And it couldn't have been done better in my opinion. Highly recommended if (like me) you love dark fantasy, magic and History.

6. Fleabag:

I laughed so much and I cried so much and I didn't expect any of it but I had to let it happen. It's funny and thoughful at the same time and I really liked the way they depicted complex themes like love, loss and self-esteem.

7. American Gods:

And then it happened. Gaiman-Fuller, the match that was meant to be. The book was in need of an adaptation and the show did an incredibly service to it. It's powerfully visual and beautiful and onirical in all the right places. Watching it I feel like I'm walking on a dream.

8. Supernatural:

oh, god, oh, fuck

🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸

Bonus (these shows make me happy for different reasons, you can ask me more about them if you want):

Ted Lasso

The Office US

Hawaii 5-0

X-files

Law & Order

Tagging: If you see this, consider youself tagged. I'm honestly curious about what shows made you, well, you.

[nyaagolor]

Ah, sorry for that, let me explain: Chronicles of Darkness is a Tabletop RPG where the players (and the setting in general) are in a world just like ours, but with tinges of supernatural and horror, the secret world just behind the normalcy... It's honestly very dark, so TWs are advised. As of now, there are 9 different gamelines (plus the Core Manual if you want to play as a simple Mortal):

Vampire: The Requiem - A Vampire is You. Creatures of the night who need to feed on the blood of the living, who need to deal (or embrace) the Beast, the name given to the urges that drive vampires away from their Humanity (one of them being an endless thirst for the blood of the living).

Werewolf: The Forsaken - A Werewolf is You. Beings half-flesh and half-spirit, they act as a border patrol for the Spirit World and other nasty thing of that world, like shards of broken mad spirit gods or spirits of malevolent concepts. Not counting those Werewolves that see humanity as prey and cattle, of course.

Mage: The Awakening - A Mage is You. People who dreamt of Atlantis, undertook a spirit quest and gained the power of warping reality... now, players have to face evil mages and the ever-looming threat of the Abyss.

Promethean: The Created - A Frankenstein Monster is You. Reanimated corpes (or similar) fueled by a "divine fire", they follow the Pilgrimage (a quest to refine themselves and understand humanity better) in hope (and very real possibilty) of finally becoming human... although their mere existence gets rejected both from humans and the Earth itself.

Changeling: The Lost - A Fairy is You... more or less. People kidnapped by the True Fae and brought to Arcadia, morphed and warped into whatever their Keeper needed/wanted and kept like that for who-knows-how-much... until a memory of home or whatever made them remember and escape, but forever changed. And between dealing with their life and the rest, it might be that the Fae want their plaything back.

Hunter: The Vigil - A Hunter is You. Simple Humans (most of the time) who knows more than the average on the supernatural, and will do whatever it takes to understand, eradicate and deal with the unknown... then again, each hunter group has its own approach, and the "When you stare into the abyss for too long, the abyss gazes back" thing is very real.

Geist: The Sin-Eater - A Possessed is You. People who avoided the Reaper by making a bargain with a ghost at the brink of death, now they can see more than the average human, have an incorporeal buddy always with them, and can deal with spirits and the Underworld... whenever they like it or not.

Mummy: The Curse - A Mummy is You. Chosen people of old who underwent the Rite of Return and now walk the line between Life and Death. Which is good because they're immortal and extremely powerful. And it's also bad because they can only be awake for short periods of time, their power slowly fades and they're still preserved corpses.

Demon: The Descent - A Demon is You. Fallen angels of the God-Machine, bio-mechanical horrors that can make bargains and con their way into humanity, now they try to wage a secret war with their former employer and their legions... or just try to live a semi-normal life.

Beast: The Primordial - A Nightmare is You. I'm not even going to talk about this one, it has... a lot of problems.

Deviant: The Renegades - A Mutant is You. People who changed into... something else by the hands of scientists, cultists, you name it. Now they escaped, but those who made them what they are now are still searching for them.

So yeah, there's a lot to unpack and the settings are very bleak, but also very fun to play with (except Beast, fuck that). I may talk about them more in the future, who knows.

OOOO this is really neat! thanks for the explanation :)

[thevulpineoracle]

Day Two

Prompt: How have you changed in the past 2 years?

Okay, well I would have been 15 years old two years ago (I'm currently 17 right now). Looking back, I've definitely changed a lot and fortunately it was for the good. Before, I kinda was a little slut... Like literally. I would hook up with random people I had just met or get a boyfriend just for me to dump them a week later. And I (hate to admit it) also was into hard core drugs and was constantly drinking alcohol. That lifestyle seemed fun to me at the time, but in reality, I was living in hell. My mental health was on the brink of losing it completely, and there was no one who I trusted that I could turn to.

That was until I met my boyfriends ( and yes I said boyfriends). They literally ripped me out of the shitdump I was in, and helped me rebuild my life back up. While I still drink and use nicotine, I don't abuse them like I did before. My mental health has gotten so much better, and I've learned to say no to certain people and situations. I honestly will credit this to my partners and the patience they had to have to put up with me over the past year and a half...

Two years ago, I was such a wreck. I like was a wingless bird that still tried to fly in vain. I've learned a lot over this short period of time, and I truly hope to learn more.

OMFG THIS IS SO CRINGY!! I CANT RIGHT NOW!! *insert me wheezing* I DIDN'T THINK THAT IT WAS GOING TO COME OUT THIS DEEP!! OH GOD... IM SORRY FOR TRAUMA DUMPING ON YOU GUYS!! THIS IS DEFINITELY THE WORST PROMPT YET...

[ssemicharmedlivingg]

Stunning.

CW/ TW: Crohn’s Diaease, depression, colostomy

Something about that word always stuck with me. I remember it being used to describe women/their outfits/etc. a lot during my childhood. And for as long as I can remember that's what I've wanted to be: stunning. Throughout my life I've had dreams of being an actress, a teacher, a court stenographer, a nail tech, a rock critic… you get it. Nothing ever stuck, and here I am: a 32 year old college dropout who still doesn't know what she wants to be when she grows up.

Stunning, though, that never went away. To this day, I want to be so gorgeous that I literally turn heads when I walk past a group of people. I want to be noticed. I want to know what it's like to be a pretty girl. The type of girl who knows how to dress and move through a room, who knows what she wants and she gets it. And who would ever deny her anything anyway?

I’m not saying that I’m bad looking. I just. I don’t catch people’s eye. I’m just there. Do you know what an accomplishment it is to be invisible with bright red hair? I know. I know. Fucking shallow. One of my biggest wishes in the world is to be pretty. Well, not just pretty. Stunning. Not like that makes it any different. I'm still a shallow, insecure fuck.

But that ship has sailed so.

This guy that I’d exchanged pictures with before getting really sick/being in the hospital sent me some thirsty messages earlier. At first I had that old feeling, that kind of swooping in my belly and flush in my cheeks, and for a second it felt good. I forgot about how I look now. I forgot that I'm 40 lbs underweight with rapidly thinning hair and a colostomy bag. God I hate this fucking bag. I hated my body before all this, but I was getting a bit better as I got older. I was less bothered when I was a bit bloated or when my hair wouldn’t cooperate, and more hated stuff like Crohn’s Disease and the multitude of issues in my brain. There were still some physical hating days, but there were less than they were in my teens/20’s.

So anyway, after unsuccessfully trying to deflect, I basically said that my body isn’t the same anymore. He thought I meant I’m getting older and tried to be sweet about that, but I just didn't know what to say. For one thing, last I took any kind of pictures was around Halloween, so it's not like I've done a ton of aging in this short period of time, hon. But no, my body has *changed*.

So yeah, now there's this. Now I don't want to be noticed. I want to fade into the background and disappear. People tell me that it'll be fine. That most people won’t be able to tell I have the bag. That there's cute covers to put over them. That someone out there somewhere will still want me despite it.

I know these people aren’t wrong, and many people live happy, healthy lives with ostomies. One of the people telling me these things has one themselves. Beyond that, I know that people live with much worse conditions (condition? Is that what you'd call this?). I would never, ever tell anyone with an ostomy that they are ugly or don't deserve love or anything at all like that. But me? I feel… I don't even know how to explain how I feel.

Going to the beach and swimming used to be two of my favorite things in the world. Now the thought of putting a bathing suit on (even a full coverage one piece) is just bonkers. I can't wear anything too form fitting anymore. I've seen pictures of girls with bags wearing snug clothes and I'm not sure what they're doing but with me you can tell. Even if it's empty it’s still there. And that’s how I feel with clothes on. I can’t stand seeing myself naked; honestly, I barely look in the mirror at all anymore. I used to love showers. Now I actually dread them. So yeah, someone else seeing me? It’s not happening. Not any time soon if ever.

Here I am whining about this. Shallow and selfish. I've said I don't want to live with a bag forever. Multiple doctors have said, "But you’ll be *alive*!” As if I’m gonna be excited about it. I know it’s shitty to say that that's not the greatest consolation prize. My whole head is fucked but also… I mean, have you seen the world lately? I certainly wouldn't be advertising it as first prize in any kind of raffle or whatever. But I'm a pessimistic, depressed lump so maybe I'm not the best judge of that type of thing. And, like I said, I know that the people supporting me are right. People with ostomies move on and live normal lives. Eventually I'll be able to look myself in the mirror, and maybe I'll enjoy showers again someday. Stunning may be out of reach—to be honest, I always knew it was— but acceptance isn't out of the question.

I really didn't mean to make this so depressing. Though it really did feel kinda good to get some of these feelings out. The plan was to write the hard thoughts here and not burden my loved ones with this, but then I turn around and give two of them the URL. So hey guys. Love you and I'm sorry. Xoxoxo

5/10/24

[notesofarichlycolorednight]

s2ep14 syren

there was a lot wrong with this one but it's honestly a lot of what i've already talked about.

it was too fast paced but this time, it was because it was trying to do too much. it had to introduce the akuma, but also introduce the discord between ladybug and chat noir, but also introduce power-ups and magic potions and the fact that kwami can't know the secret ingredients, and also show adrien being a snotty brat, and spent so much time doing all that, we didn't even really get to see how their power-ups worked and they didn't even get new powers. other than the ability to breathe underwater. "underwater lucky charm" is not a new power lmao.

they introduced a whole new character we've never seen before except for a split second in frightingale, and the fact that kim swims regularly, and that they're apparently such good friends this new character has a crush on him??? it's so forced and contrived. they literally couldn't come up with a more creative way to introduce a new character that swims? or idk actually sprinkle in here and there that kim likes to swim and has a partner he often swims with earlier???

everything felt too unnatural. none it flowed well. these power-ups, much like hawkmoth's akumas becoming more powerful, gives us a false sense of raised stakes.

the new transformation is fun, sure. and the kwamis changing to match is adorable. but like, it's temporary and doesn't even give them new superpowers permanently.

the one thing i will commend it on is the fact that they actually took the time to explain things to make it seem more natural when ladybug figured out where the akuma was. but, again, they had to squeeze it into such a short period of time, we didn't even get any time to spend with this new character, this new threat, or the supers new superpowers/transformations. we didn't even get to see chat noir's new transformation or plagg's underwater self except in the end card. does chat noir have an "underwater cataclysm?"

it was just really badly set up. and badly written.

what was preventing them from introducing us to all these things slowly? sprinkling them throughout the other episodes. all kim had to do was mention his friend he swims with once or twice. all the writers had to do was have master fu talk about how he's decoding the grimore, which contains power-ups that he currently working on when marinette goes to visit him for rena rouge's miraculous.

the fact that he's conveniently working on these potions and the one potion he's working specifically has to do with water powers is very convenient and doesn't feel ham-fisted at all! /sarcasm

the one thing that's also not explained and doesn't make sense to me is the fact that kwami are immortal god-like creatures that grant users powers through use of jewelry but they need guardians to make special potions for them to power-up? that doesn't make sense. who taught the guardians the potions if not the kwamis? where did this knowledge come from? the gimore couldn't have written itself. but then who wrote it and who told the first guardian all these things?

this is not to mention the fact that these power-ups seem very specific to only akuma situations, you know? further providing evidence that they designed hawkmoth as a villain first and foremost.

the power-ups have to make sense in the context of the overall meta-narrative you're telling about how these kwamis and superheros came to be, and how they work and interact within the wider world. if we're supposed to assume that nooroo is supposed to be used for good, then we can't assume that the villains ladybug and chat noir, and the other miraculous superheros, faced in the past were akumatized victims, right? which means that it doesn't make sense to base their power-ups on what an akuma might do, right?

aside: have i already mentioned the fact that ladybug's yo-yo cleanses akuma provides more evidence hawkmoth was always a villain. bc it seems like that's a very specific power based on the premise of akuma.

anyway, so why does it feel too convenient that their power-ups do suit the akumatized victim of the episode?

they really didn't think about this at all, did they?

it feels like creator saw that sailor moon had powers-ups but didn't or couldn't come up with new threats for each season, so tried to incorporate them. but couldn't come up with a clever way to fit them in unless for very specific akuma circumstances, and so here we are.

everything feels like it moves too fast, yet also feels incredibly contrived and doesn't make sense when you think about it for 2 seconds longer.

i also wanted to complain a little about adrien being a little brat. like i know i've talked about how i think they should make him a proper duexteragonist but not in a way that makes him seem irresponsible and unfit to be a superhero in the first place. at the very least, if you're not going to do anything with that as some kind of character arc, then what's the point? now, it's own, that's a value neutral thing you can put into your story. but like with coding, GIGO. you have to at least try to make it work within the wider narrative or it's just gonna fall flat.

the premise of master fu choosing ladybug and chat noir on the basis of them being kind is bananas to me. like obviously you want your superheroes to be kind and somewhat selfless, but that can't be the only criteria or they'll go and pull stunts like what adrien did. he pities himself too much and it pisses me off. and also does not demonstrate fitness to be a superhero. bc sometimes you need to set aside your differences to solve the greater issue.

the writers seem to have a complex about their two mains in opposite directions and none of it is good.

like yes, he's a teenager, sure. but they don't even try to weave that into the greater narrative. it's not something that adrien needs to work on to become a better chat noir bc he is still a teenager. it's just there for suspense and convenience.

i was gonna end with a funny quip that was lighthearted and has nothing to do with my critiques of the show, but i can't remember what it was now. boo

edit: i remembered! the way master fu boils the kettle and then pours the "tea" directly into marinette's cup 💀 no steeping, not teapot, just boiled leaf water directly from the kettle. unacceptable. an old chinese man would never make "tea" like that. is that how they make "tea" in france?

[kafkaoftherubble]

最近还没有新的project，所以跟放假无异。真惬意！

Although we didn't manage to do our Morning Routine, and I ended up moving the planned Resume Dollmaking plan to some other day (Wednesday? Thursday?), the rest of today was pretty great!

Seeing Dune (in fact—only one-third of it so far) on Netflix and streaming it on Discord turned out to be a success!

Seeing the movie with an unexpected TimothEÊĒÉ Chalamet Doubter—who seems to shiver every time the dude reappears on-screen—is hilarious. "I've been seeing this movie for a while now and I haven't seen him change his expression—oh wait, finally." It's the fact that this is from someone who dabbles in acting themself that makes it such a burn!

Honestly, we should pit Lyi the TimothÈËÊÉ Apologist with them together. This world has too much love and peace, there is not enough c h a o s!

Will resume the rest of Dune later tonight. And that will be after I game with Ritsu, who insisted that today we should play our old Resident Evil 6 instead. Her reasoning? "The way we suck has gone stale. We should be bolder and fail in new avenues! Be a generalist even in the art of being fucking failures!"

Please. Past Lyn had played RE6 with this lil' ass before. Remember the "大姐 I give you my controller! Control my character and control Chris just for this segment! ... WOW YOU SO AMAZING, YOU CONTROL CHRIS WITH YOUR FOOT!" session and the "大姐 WOOHOO BLAST THAT HELICOPTER WITH BAZOOKA! I'll be hiding in this room behind you and give you moral support! If you're near death I will come out and inject you with medicine! I NOW ISSA DOCTOR! ...WHAT? THESE GUNS ARE FOR COSPLAY!"

Oh god. We are not even gonna get past the first part of Level 1, are we?

---------------

The best thing about today is that I finally get to study.

That reminds me! I have never documented Miki the pencil case in this garden before. I think she was created by 2018 Lyndises. Ah, maybe next time.

----

Whenever I have time, however short that period might be, the book I always have the most interest in is Buddhist Ethics. Which... is really different from the choice of, say, Lyndises of a Few Years Ago. Fionn has such a hold on me, damn it.

Not that I'm complaining; I just like seeing him happy. I like seeing him think. I like hearing him explain shits. I just like hanging out with him.

The last time, the last Lyn stopped at the chapter discussing Buddhaghosa's Visuddhimagga ("The Path of Purification"). I did a bit of revision on it because I kinda forgot what's it about, and I can't continue if I forgot.

Visuddhimagga is a Theravadin ethical treatise. That means the self-liberation of the student (ya know, the one who's taking up the path) is the central goal. I have seen some Mahayana scholars and philosophers disparage Theravada school for being self-centered because their focus is self-liberation instead of "the liberation of all sentient beings." But man! Sectarian disputes, mate. Quite an unfair accusation, too, methinks.

Look at the central value Buddhaghosa emphasizes:

Generosity.

And he didn't mean generosity in finances or material goods. It's not about "a set of actions." Buddhaghosa's concept of generosity is an orientation. A preference in seeing the world; it's a whole-ass path. More specifically, it means being generous with one's time, patience, knowledge, effort, care, possessions—everything you own is liable to be given to anyone else who needs it more. That kind of generosity.

I really can't see how that makes the Theravada school selfish. Is the accusation aimed more at the intent of a Theravadin Buddhist instead of their ethical stance? "You're only doing all of these good things for your eventual liberation instead of to liberate everyone together!" That sorta thing?

Hmm. On paper, that intent does seem self-centered. But if putting Theravadin ethics into practice benefits people around that student in effect—is the accusation of selfishness really as meaningful as it sounds?

Look over here:

The ultimate goal of practicing generosity is the attainment of nonegocentricity, a.k.a the ethical side of anattā, "non-self."

Oh, but there is an additional side to practicing generosity, too. A phenomenological one.

Basically, one adopts the preference of generosity because the world is so interdependent (pratītyasamutpāda, "dependent co-arising") that any distinction between one's self and others is illusionary and arbitrary. That is a phenomenological realization—it's knowledge regarding how the world is perceived. When you give to someone, you didn't lose shit. That someone gained what you gave, and that translates to a mutual gain for both of you.

"When the mouth eats from the hand, the entire body benefits—the hand did not lose anything at all. It never had. But if the hand doesn't realize this, then it convinces itself it's now at a disadvantage and suffers from an invisible, nonexisting loss."

Hee hee! It's so nice to have someone like Fionn to provide commentaries.

---

Today's real new chapter is on the Mahayana treatise, specifically from the Mādhyamaka school: Śāntideva's Bodhicaryavatara ("How to Lead an Awakened Life").

The book noted the different metaphors Buddhaghosa and Śāntideva used, gleaned easily even from the title of their treatises. Buddhaghosa emphasized "purification," that is to say, removing negative qualities to purify one's conduct. Santideva's is a path of accumulation, which is where you collect noble qualities like Pokemon. These virtues are, you guessed it, the pāramitā, "perfections."

Pāramitā is such a Mahayana concept. As soon as you see these being mentioned, it's gotta be a Mahayana school. It harkens a bit to virtue ethics, methinks, as espoused by Ancient Greek philosophers.

Honestly, we haven't really gotten far into this subchapter. Garfield is an expert on Santideva's treatise, so he has a lot to say about it. In comparison, Visuddhimagga was more of Maria Helm's expertise, if I recall correctly.

For now, my favorite part of this subchapter is about the difference between the so-called "aspiring" and "engaged" modes of practice.

Aspirants are people who learn from philosophical classes, reading, reflections, and discourses—good old discursive knowledge you get by "hearing from others." It's good intentions—but no actions yet. That's not all; to hear about ethics from secondhand sources like that is to gain knowledge through concepts and abstract thoughts communicated by other people. That means a certain level of reality distortion not unlike learning about philosophy through stories and fiction and nonfiction articles.

To Santideva, one has to really put what they have heard into experiments and practice because then that knowledge becomes direct and experiential. "Knowledge gained from perception itself."

To practice the path of the Bodhisattva, empiricism is of utmost importance. "Knowing" isn't enough. "Seeing" is more important.

I agree with that, even if cognitive science would argue against framing perceptions as direct and less distorted than "discourses." Again, human brains are not that reliable.

We're mostly in agreement here, however; the reason why I favor ethics and phenomenology in philosophy over shits like metaphysics is because these are domains that can be put into practice. These are intellectual naval-gazing that influence actions, and therefore effects!

... Heh. "Empiricism" reminds me of someone.

---------

I wanna start reading The Lies That Bind starting this week.

I'm gonna bring it to that stupid wedding anyway. Might as well start reading now.

I already like the quote Kwame selected.

[pilotjoans]

Nov. 20, 2023

Somehow, it always feels like once I finish one thing, three other things are added on. That even though I work for 9 hours straight, I somehow haven't made any progress in any of the projects I have. And literally this shit SUCKS!! :(

I'm trying to stay positive though, so here are three things I'm grateful for today:

positive feedback from all of my preceptors

my friends who are always there with me as I go through this volatile period of my life

my family for always supporting me behind the scenes

I know I'm competent and intelligent and personable, but I'm trying to get everyone else to see that, and it's tiring to have to always sell myself like I'm a product (which I guess I am ha). I just think about how in exactly 4 months from now, I'll know whether or not I'll be a resident or a community pharmacist and it's scary to see how much can change in that short amount of time. I've always had a hard time accepting change into my life because it always makes my life unstable and honestly, with all the shit going on with myself, I crave stability. So I try to avoid change and pretend it doesn't exist, but I feel it around me All The Time and it paralyzes me a lot, like too much. So I honestly think I need to re-evaluate my purpose, my interests and my own mindset because I want to live, I want to thrive, and none of that can happen until I do something about it.

Tonight is a catch-up night for all of the small things I need to get done, like finishing up my "strengths and weaknesses" to send to my preceptors for LORs, uploading their information onto the application portal, and finishing all remaining school assignments. It's a lot, but it's also all half-finished so I feel like if I just knock it all out tonight, it'll leave me in such a good position tomorrow. Cause then I'll only have my patient presentation and my Excel sheet for residency programs to work on :)

Hoping this week goes great because Thanksgiving is on Thursday!! And I get Thurs and Fri off thank god :3

On another note, I'm broke but I want to buy so much stuff during Cyber Monday pls hold me back fr

[elysianslove]

ah, okay! i just wanted to see your take on yūji and sukuna "sharing" a s/o. you had only started dating yūji recently and, sukuna, being the little attractive shit he is, would sometimes interrupt your quality time, switching out with yūji when you're, say, cuddling, like one second you're running your hands through yūji's hair with him kinda dozing off in your lap, the next thing you know sukuna is smirking up at you. or when you give yūji kisses: a peck on the cheek—sukuna's mouth would appear there, or for long lasting ones, when you pull away, you'll see your "boyfriend" has gained tattoos. at first, sukuna does this solely to annoy you both, but somehow ended up lowkey enjoying the affection you're providing (you weren't bothered that much, most of the time just going along with it—it wasn't like he can switch for long periods of time anyway), so much that they resort to this childish competition over yūji's body; anyways, yeah, headcanons or scenario, whichever you prefer! i hope my specifications aren't a bother—if they are, pls feel free to ignore this request!! tysm 💖

really sorry for this being late oh my gosh. but oh my god all of these scenarios??? anon you made me feel sum type of way on god. 

warnings; poly relationship ig? some nonconsensual stuff but it’s not extreme! mention of nsfw

honestly though? you said it all 

at the start of your relationship, yuuji would be super hesitant to be alone with you. he has control majority of the time, but it’s always a risk and at least when he’s around many people sukuna isn’t as much of like this itchy nuisance. 

sukuna would find the whole idea of the relationship trivial. like he’s watching from the sidelines as you spend more time with yuuji, can feel the swell of emotions threatening to burst in yuuji��s chest. it’s annoying! a waste of time! and it’s not like he kept his opinions a secret. any time yuuji would go out to meet with you, sukuna would be pestering him like you could be using this time to grow in power and train yuuji’s just like bruh on god i will switch with you and jump off a cliff

first few months, sukuna would view you as an itch that won’t go away no matter how bad you scratch at it. he interrupts you two all the time. if you lean in to kiss yuuji’s cheek, sukuna’s mouth is there, licking at your lips to pull you away. jokes on him you’ll lick him back. oh you wanna go skinny dipping at 3 in the morning with yuuji? too bad it’s sukuna now. yuuji’s hands resting on the back of your neck while you kiss/or just because? sukuna’s mouth appears to just bite at you

it’s bothersome and infuriating how unbothered you’re always are about it though. any time he appears you always laugh it off, or annoy him back until he himself goes away. if he switches with your boyfriend, you always roll your eyes and just go, “aight gimme back my bf now.” you’re not being put off by any of this! if anything, he’s finding that it excites you more. puts even more life into your relationship.

he continues to do it anyways, but once, as you’re leaning in to kiss yuuji, sukuna unexpectedly switches with him, but not in time enough for you to notice the change, and you end up kissing sukuna instead. it’s not a passionate, long lasting one, not the same ones sukuna has had to endure watching and feeling yuuji go through. and yes, he can, in some way, feel you when you kiss yuuji, but you’re kissing him now. it’s the same, but it’s incredibly different. it’s soft, slow, and it sends a tingling down sukuna’s spine that he can’t decide whether to hate or love. and in a fit of shock, sukuna realizes that — that it’s good. and he’s kissing you back, and you’re still kissing him. why aren’t you stopping? — he doesn’t want you to stop. shit! 

yuuji switches out with sukuna before you pull back and open your eyes, and when you do, you see him just as shocked as sukuna had felt. you’re so confused, asking if he’s okay (“it’s like i’ve never kissed you before what’s wrong?”) but he decides to keep quiet and not mention anything. when he’s alone, he says out loud to an empty room, “did it feel good?” he hadn’t been expecting sukuna’s reply, but it was curt, a short and simple, “yes.” and that was the end of that. 

yuuji didn’t like the fact that sukuna had kissed you without your permission, even if it had been accidental. you didn’t know it wasn’t yuuji. and he hated that he hadn’t found the courage to tell you. but he was intrigued at the prospect of sukuna finally accepting you. so in the midst of cuddling you, while you slept in his arms, he shifted with sukuna, unexpectedly and without warning. imagine the curse’s surprise to look down and suddenly see that your arms are wrapped tightly around his middle, your head on his chest as you sigh gently in your sleep. his arms are holding you close to him, and the feeling is only faintly familiar, a sense of deja vu because of sharing yuuji’s body. and then, just like that, it’s over. 

again, as he lays with your head on his chest and his eyes on the ceiling above him, yuuji asks sukuna, “did it feel good?” and again, sukuna replies, “yes.” 

that’s how the idea of sharing you began. they’re both still yet to discuss it with you, but it’s obvious that it’s weighing heavy on their minds. and because you know him so well, you can tell when yuuji’s been hiding something from you, so you ask him to just out with it. it’s a very interesting conversation. you go from shocked, to neutral, to confused, to intrigued, to teasing. it’s all over the place. but it’s the most shocking to him when you fix him with a determined smile and glance and say, “i wanna try.”

it’s very clumsy at first. sukuna and yuuji fight over yuuji’s body like fucking children. you have to like establish ground rules and some sort of routine to actually get them to settle down. nights are altered between them, with who gets to sleep next to you — one night yuuji, one night sukuna, unless either one of them is experiencing a bad day of sorts. you give two kisses now instead of one, and it’s very comical because you kiss yuuji, he steps back and he’s essentially the same person but with??? tattoos??? sukuna’s not a fan of dates, so it’s always yuuji taking you out, but nights in are really endearing with sukuna, because he gives incredible massages while in the bath with you. like i said, at first, it’s all over the place because they make it out to be some sort of competition between them, but then steadily they fall into a rhythm. 

i’ll briefly talk about nsfw. this is something they cannot, for the life of them, get accustomed with. if yuuji’s being a lil shit to sukuna for the day, he will switch out with him right as yuuji’s about to orgasm just because. wow king of edging and orgasm denial! he switches out with yuuji a lot, especially when it comes to you going down on him (them?). it’s not like yuuji doesn’t do it back, because he does. he so does, especially with how he has more control than sukuna does. the one thing that they can agree on is pleasuring you, and it’s always a priority no matter who holds the reigns on yuuji’s body at the time. sometimes you’ll need sukuna to be absolutely ruthless with you and split you in half and yuuji will respect that, because sometimes you need the mixture of yuuji’s soft hands and rough thrusts instead. it’s all about the balance, my loves. 

anyways! i feel like i have more to say but i can’t think of anything else rn. being with sukuna and yuuji? best of both worlds. the end! 

[markresonates]

summary: You’re lucky that Mark’s birthday finally gives you an excuse to get close to him

pairing: best friend!Mark x fem!reader

genre: smut, fluff, tiny angst

au/tropes: childhood friends to roommates to lovers

word count: 2.7k

a/n: here’s some impulsively written Mark smut bc it's his bday + i love him and if you don't, then you're wrong<3

warnings: unprotected sex, oral (fem receiving), dom!Mark, fem!reader

There is no better day for your best friend to have been born than August 2nd, 1999. Perhaps it was some cosmic luck, being that ‘99 was the year of the rabbit which symbolizes luck and good fortune, but Mark Lee was born right smack dab in the middle of two holidays: national spiderman day and national watermelon day.

“What?” he squeaked, softly shoving you away in disbelief. “Dude, no way! That’s seriously, like, too crazy.”

“Fine! Look it up if you don’t believe me,” you defended yourself, laughing at his adorable wide eyed expression.

Three years later, he still manages to bring it up repeatedly that he has a “predestined birthday,” or so he calls it. If it was anybody else making tiny jokes about fate and slipping in references to the special quality of the day multiple times, your patience would be wearing thin, so much so that you might consider making up an excuse to escape the poorly worded jokes, if only for a little while. But you would never opt out of hearing Mark’s jokes, or, honestly, his voice in general. That voice you miss hearing nonstop.

This is the first birthday you will be spending with Mark since you moved in together. It’s important to note that “moved in together” and “being together” are two separate things, no matter how much you wish they were one in the same. The thing is, just because you share an overpriced, dusty apartment, doesn't mean you spend much time with each other.

Nearly a year ago, you started to grow apart, all thanks to Mark’s controlling girlfriend. He was too naive to see through her snake-like skin in the beginning of their relationship. She was the kind of girl that never grew out of that popular, mean girl complex she developed in high school and it showed. It nearly broke your heart to see your once ride-or-die friendship, a close connection that you formed with him since elementary school, dwindle through the sands of time. All of his friends saw her for who she was as well, but no amount of mini interventions could change his mind. He had to come to that conclusion himself, something that took him seven months to do.

You heard it through the walls. Their relationship had met its final crescendo with a loud, full out yelling match ringing through the apartment. You could only make out parts of the harsh accusations and aggressive rebuttals but you got the gist of the context. Based on fractions of dialogue, you pieced together that his girlfriend had been carefully working her toxic magic to persuade Mark to turn away from you. Apparently this was the thing that flipped a switch within him and shattered the illusion of a caring, sincere relationship he saw in the mirror.

He sulked around the apartment for a single week before it appeared as if he had cleansed himself of her. It was nice to see him chipper and somehow visibly healthier after this short period of mourning but seeing him way more often was unexpectedly awkward. By the time his birthday rolled around, it had been a month since that week, and that awkward feeling like you do not recognize the person you used to know like the back of your hand lingers today too.

You get home from work to find Mark and Haechan slouching in the middle of the couch. You kick off your shoes by the door and swallow thickly. “Hey, have you guys eaten already?” you ask, raising your voice over the volume of some movie that barely holds their attention.

Mark flinches at the sound of your voice, speedily clicking pause on the remote. “God, fu- I didn’t see you come in. Uh, yeah the boys took me out to eat a while ago.”

“Oh, okay… well, happy birthday, Mark! I'm just gonna, you know, go to my room. I’m a little tired from work and all,” you lie. “I’ll leave your present on your bed.” You waste a handful of seconds waiting for him to reply when all that plays out is an uncomfortable moment of silence.

Haechan gets up from his seat, breaking the quiet atmosphere. “Is anyone going to say anything or are we holding our breaths until we pass out?”

Mark watches his friend collect his belongings and stands up in protest. “Wait, are you leaving? Don't go!”

Haechan ignores his question, instead engulfing him in his arms, and struggles to kiss Mark’s cheek, which to the birthday boy’s dismay, successfully makes contact with his cheek. “Happy birthday!” He makes a swift exit, hugging you along the way and leaving the room in that awkward silence that clogged the air like before.

You sigh loudly and start to stroll down the hall to your room when you hear Mark call out, “Hey, y/n, wait! It’s really lucky, like how my birthday is lucky, that you got here right when Haechan was leaving and I know you’re tired and stuff but, like, it’s my birthday and I was hoping you’d watch the rest of the movie with me?”

Your mind flashes to images of how this situation could go. You do not know for sure what streaming platform he is using but honestly does it really matter?

You freeze as your stomach does a flip. “I was thinking I'd take a shower right now and get the smell of work off of me?” Your response comes off as a question while you are praying he would object to your leave and want you no matter what; and lucky for you, your prayers are answered.

“y/n, I really don’t care about that with you, don’t you know that? I just wanna finish the netflix movie with you… and it’s still my birthday so, count this as part of your present… please?”

Netflix and chill IS A THING and there is a chance that this situation could turn out the way you wanted: naked underneath his body and completely filled up by his hard cock.

But then again, you are probably overthinking this. He’s had years to make a move on you and he never has. The dirty scenes exist in your mind and your mind alone. He doesn't think of you like that obviously.

Or does he?

“Well since you asked so nicely, I guess I’ll do it later. Let me go put my stuff in my room.” The walk down the hall feels long, taking slow cautious steps as your mind swirls with uncertainty and your panties pool with arousal. There, you toss your stuff on the bed with no regard to their condition and step out to return to the living room.

“Actually, can we, uh, do it in my room? The movie I mean! Like finish the movie,” He awkwardly folds his arms and leans against the doorway to his room.

Watching a movie with him in bed. Yeah that doesn't sound suspicious at all.

You snort at his attempt to look cool. “Sure, that’s fine.”

He moves your carefully wrapped birthday present to the nightstand. Not before long, the both of you are leaning back against his headboard, and a tingling in the lower half of your abdomen buzzes distractingly. You sit one foot away from each other with equally tense muscles and hands folded in your laps. The boring movie drones on with a nonsensical plot that you dedicate a fourth of your attention to. You move your hand and lay it at your side, positioning it in between you and Mark’s thighs if he so happens to want to hold your hand.

“Have you opened any pres- Oh.” Your voice falters as his hand slips into yours. He intertwines your fingers and gives your hand a gentle squeeze, something that is such a simple, innocent gesture but causes butterflies in your stomach nonetheless. His eyes are glued to the screen, avoiding staring at your hand or meeting your gaze. “Mark, look at me,” you whisper, growing tired of him purposefully ignoring you.

He lolls his head to the side slowly, rubbing his perfect pink lips together. Looking down to his hand for a second, he pulls it out of your grasp and tentatively trails it up your thigh. He hums in a way inferring “what?”

Your mind goes blank for two seconds before you hoist yourself up from the bed and throw your leg over his lap. His hands immediately swing to your hips then slide lower to take handfuls of your body and control the rhythm of how you grind on him.

“Fuck, I’ve waited so long for this,” he sighs, already out of breath.

“I bet it’s not as long as me though,” you moan. Rolling your hips in his lap at an increased speed lures a sweet sounding groan of pleasure from his pretty mouth. “God, I love hearing your voice.”

He leans forward with no warning to capture your lips with his. You slow the pace of your hips to match the sensual, affectionate kiss. His tongue penetrates the warmth of your mouth and you nearly choke on a moan that vibrates in your throat. You never expected making out with Mark to be as meaningful and hot as it is now, getting lost in his sincere kisses. He pulls away to lay his forehead against yours as his hands take full control of your motions and grind your core over his strained, hard length. The arousing motion is so sudden that you sob and tighten your grip on his shoulders.

“Shit, y/n are you okay? I’m really sorry if that hurt,” he retracts his hands from your body in a panic.

You rock your body back and climb off his lap. You crawl off the bed to remove the rest of your clothing and he follows suit. His eyes go wide seeing his best friend undressing in front of him, tugging your shirt over your head, undoing your bra in the back, slipping off your pants and panties in one sweep. He displays a proud smile when he gets a look at your panties. “I got you this wet?”

You ring your hands around his neck, connecting your mouth to the sensitive spot close to his ear and seductively hiss, “Mark, shut up and fuck me already.” Slinking up the mattress and laying on your back compels Mark to replicate your movement until he is on top of you.

He jerks back and eyes you with worry. “Hold up, should I, like, get a condom?”

“Well we both just got tested last month like *every sexually active person if supposed to do every year* and we were clean. And I take birth control, so I’m alright if you are?”

He presses his body to yours while he goes in for another sweet kiss then gets to his knees. He looks down at you, taking his bottom lip in between his teeth, with this lustful, sharp gaze in substitute for the innocent twinkle you see outside of the bedroom. “Yeah, I’m alright,” he grunts in a gravely tone that unbelievably turns you on even more.

Reaching down to grab the back of your thighs, he hauls your body closer to him and pries your legs open wider. He fools you into thinking he is about to sink himself deep inside you, but instead he gets on his stomach, latching his mouth to your hot slit.

“M-Mark! please, I want you inside me so bad,” you cry out as his tongue circles around your clit then sucks down hard.

“But it’s my birthday, y/n,” he fake pouts, going back to lapping at your slick folds. Two fingers dive into you and pet your soft walls with vigor. Your most sensitive spot heats up as a familiar pressure builds.

“P-please, I don’t want to come now, I wanna come with you,” you whine.

“God, I love how you’re so desperate for me, baby,” he comments breathlessly. Granting your wishes this time around, he sets himself up at your entrance. He collects your cum on his fingers and rubs it up and down his length, pumping himself in his hands until he is satisfied with how slick and hard he is. “Ready?”

You hum in confirmation and angle your neck down to see where your dripping hole swallows his cock. The fucked out, pleasured moans that you and Mark emit are likely heard by the neighbors but you couldn't care less if you were fined for a hundred noise complaints. There is no way you would ever develop the ability to suppress the blissful cry as he slides inside you, spreading your walls as he thrusts his full length in until his pelvis meets your body and he can’t plunge any further. After the handful of seconds he allows you to adjust to his size, he rocks into you deeply. The steady, reasonably tame pace he starts off with lasts about 30 seconds. You squeal when he hooks his hands to your hips and lifts your lower half up another few inches to get a better angle at pounding into you on his knees. Every thrust reaches in deepest possible and hits the magic spot inside you.

Your body twitches when he winds his hand around to rub your clit. There is a fluttering that you hold back in your abdomen, a chore made difficult by his relentless pounding and skillful fingers. “Mark, are you c-close?”

“Yeah, pretty close, baby. But I don’t think you’re going to be able to hold out long enough to come with me, princess,” he teases.

He increases his intensity because of your challenge, hastily defiling you and stimulating your sensitive button with tireless rubbing. Throbbing knots tie too quickly for you to manage restraint and you peak 30 seconds later. The fire from your climax radiates through your veins, the kind of mind dizzying orgasm you dreamed about from Mark. A rippling, nearly stinging pleasure from the overstimulation by his fingers pushes your convulsions to last longer.

You love the face that Mark is making as he watches where your body’s connect, pumps inside you listlessly. His brow is furrowed, lips parted enough so his tongue can rub over the bottom one, continually wetting it and giving his lips a pretty glossy look, while the corners of his mouth turn up in a slight smile. You can't tell if his smile stems from the feeling of filling you up as his cock is hugged tightly inside you, or a smile from making you come so incredibly hard, but you could read it all over his face that he was seconds away from his own heaven by the way his mouth twitched.

His eyes fluttered shut as pleasure sweeps over his body. He lets out a noise that is somewhere in between a growl and a croak. The feeling of being filled with Mark’s cum is indescribable; it just feels like you are whole and warm even after he pulls out. He carefully leans over to his nightstand to retrieve a toilet paper roll. “Baby, you look so pretty right now,” he praises you. “The look on your face is just, like- argh, fuck. And how my cum is spilling out of you? God, wow.”

There is a period of silence, but it's not the awkward vibe that pre-sex with Mark Lee had. “Hey, you know what’s kind of funny?” you mumble lethargically, starting to feel him wiping you down.

“Hmm, what’s that?”

You get to your elbows and peer down to the guy you dreamed about for years. He’s the one you imagined when you close your eyes and envision walking on the beach hand in hand, getting caught in rain storms together and having to share an umbrella, losing track of time with him because you’re too in love to spare a single glance at a clock, and growing old together knowing you were the luckiest girl on the planet. “You really did get lucky tonight, huh?”

He bursts out laughing, slapping the bed next to your leg in amusement with a volume that’s just a little too loud but you love regardless. When he calms down and you're all clean (according to Mark’s standards), he pulls you to your feet and holds you close. “No… I’m lucky I have you.”

happy birthday Mark!!

i posted @ 11:59 pm of august 2nd where i live…literally posted at the very last minute BUT i wasn't late !!

my masterlist

© 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟏 𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬, 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐝.

[differentkettleoffishalltogether]

Shut Me Up

A/N: Here’s another smutty one-shot. I felt like something a little cliche so here it is. This was so fun to write! I’m still finding my footing in this fandom as a writer but I think I wanna start taking requests, the next fic I have coming out will be a request and I’m having fun with it so shoot me a message if there’s something you wanna see. I’ve just put together my Masterlist so you can check out my other fics there :)

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Summary: Spencer and Y/N don’t exactly get on well. Will they be able to work out some of their frustration when they’re forced to share a room for the night?

Category: Pure smut baby

Warnings/Includes: smut, graphic descriptions of sex, dirty talk, oral (female receiving), penetrative sex, name calling, light choking, hair pulling, scratching, please let me know if there’s anything I’ve missed!

Word count: 3850 words

The hotel is somehow worse than usual. It’s got so few rooms that they just narrowly grab enough for the whole team. But few enough that they have to bunk. Y/N didn't love sharing a room but it was better than having nowhere to sleep at all.

Prentiss tosses her a key, “That’s you and Reid” she says it so nonchalant that Y/N almost doesn’t notice it. Once in clicks in her head though she races down the hall.

“Hey, hey wait!” She calls out, a little too desperate, “Emily you can’t put me with Reid. We’ll kill each other.”

She laughs at that, it was on open secret amongst the team that Y/N and Spencer had something of a rivalry going. Bitter sworn enemies apparently. No one really bought it though. People who really truly hated each other would be a lot better at avoiding one another. But Y/N and Spencer could never seem to keep apart for very long.

“I’m sure you’ll be able to put your differences aside for a night.” she waves Y/N off as she heads into her own room, leaving her stranded in the hallway. Contemplating if the reception area might let her crash on the couch, she could even spend the night in one of the SUVs, the seats reclined far enough.

But that was stupid, why should she be the one who had to be uncomfortable, why not Spencer.

When she arrived at the door of her own room Spencer was slumped up against it, he stood up straight once he saw her coming.

“Took you long enough” he spat, reaching to take the key from her but she pulled it back before he had the chance.

“I was on the hunt for alternative sleeping arrangements” she huffs, unlocking the door.

“To no avail I presume?” he jokes but he’s just met with an eye roll.

“I’m taking the bed by the window” she stakes her claim before they even get through the door. Once they’re inside he lets out a chuckle.

“You’re welcome to the side of the bed by the window?” he jokes.

This was infinitely worse than she thought it was going to be. Where there were usually two generally uncomfortable twin beds in these standard small-town motels, instead there was a queen sized bed, staring at them as they stood at the foot of it.

“I get the bed” she says like she’s calling shotgun.

“Bullshit you get the bed, there’s nowhere else to sleep!” he complains.

She takes a second to scan the room, no sofa, no arm chair, the floor is a scratchy carpet. There’s no real option here. “You can sleep on the desk?” she suggests, and she’s not serious about it, but she wouldn’t say no if he agreed.

“Are you kidding me?” he almost shouts.

“Soft mattresses are bad for your back! Maybe it’ll sort out your posture?” she adds.

“There’s nothing wrong with my posture” he groans, massaging his temple.

“Okay sure, you tell yourself that”

They don’t say anything more about it as they unpack. Showering and changing for bed in silence. When Y/N comes out from he bathroom, Spencer is sitting up on one side of the bed, reading through case files by the light of the bedside lamp.

“Are you serious?” she whines.

“Look, we both need rest, just shut up and get over yourself” he says it without looking up from the file in his hand, his finger running over the lines at speed.

She doesn’t respond, she just climbs in on the other side, keeping herself as close to the edge of the mattress as possible to keep the distance in between them.

She lies like that for about 45 minutes but sleep’s just not coming.

“Are you ever gonna turn off that fucking light, I thought we ‘needed rest’” she mocks, turning over to look at him, still combing through the files, mumbling to himself every once in a while.

“We’ll both be useless tomorrow if we don’t get any sleep” she tries to convince him with a slightly more sincere tone.

This case wasn’t easy, the unsub had been abducting victims he’d met in online BDSM chatrooms. Bodies had been turning up murdered in ways that the victims had previously expressed were turn-ons. Suffocated, whipped, tied up in peculiar ways. There wasn’t much information to go on now, they just had to wait for the next body to turn up but that didn’t keep Spencer from pouring over everything a hundred times.

When he wasn’t being purposefully irritating Y/N honestly admired his work ethic. Just not when it was interfering with her much needed sleep.

“The bare minimum of sleep most humans need to live is just 4 hours in a 24 hour period” he blurts out, still not looking up.

“Well I’m not most humans, so knock it off”

He finally concedes, chucking his files onto the bedside table and shutting off the lamp. It’s now eerily quiet, and all she can hear is the steady breathing coming from the other side of the bed.

Enough time passes that she really should be asleep but it’s still not happening. So she’s already beyond irritated when she feels a slight shove against her shoulder.

“Hey, you still awake?” he sounds mischievous, she knows that tone of his voice and she doesn't like it.

“God! I am now! What do you want?” she mumbles into her pillow.

“I’ve just got a question” he says defensively.

She hums and rolls over to face him, he’s wide awake, “Well? Out with it” she encourages, the sooner this is over with the better.

His mouth twists into a smirk as he takes a minute to study her face, “What turns you on?” he asks it sincere, and she has no idea what to do with that.

Rolling her eyes on instinct she groans, “Ugh, are you serious? I was so close to getting to sleep, goodnight asshole.” she turns back around to end the conversation but he can’t leave it there.

“I’m serious actually, just all the talk about it earlier, I wanna know”

She doesn’t move as she speaks, remaining with her back to him in a bid not to engage, “You couldn’t handle that information.” She deadpans.

“Try me” he antagonizes, and that’s enough to set her off. He just didn’t know when to quit.

This could be a fun new way to tease him, is her first thought. Turn him on, leave him wanting, yet another game to add to their repertoire of spite.

“Fine I’ll give.” she turns back to him, staring intently this time, “Here’s one, I really get off on having my hair pulled” she scoots closer so she can lean in and whisper the next part, “like when I’m getting fucked from behind, or I’ve got someone’s cock down my throat. I love having my hair pulled, just the short sharp pain of it.” she sort of moans the last little bit right by his ear before settling back on her own pillow.

“That good enough?” she asks, and she can practically see his breath catch in his chest.

He takes a steady gulp, “Yeah, that was, informative” he breathes.

“And what about you?” she poses, he’s not getting out of this one so easy. He looks shocked, like he didn’t see this coming a mile off.

“Me? Uh—” he stutters, “My back, I get really— I get turned on when someone digs their nails into my back, like scratching and marking” something about seeing him flustered like this is almost endearing.

“I guess we’re both suckers for pain” she winks as she says it, making a move to turn around again in a bid to let the conversation die but he doesn’t give her the chance.

“Tell me another” he pleads, and she’s not sure what his expression means but she might just draw this out, see how far she can can tease this.

“Hmm, nosy aren't we?” she smirks, he doesn't respond, just waits for an answer. She thinks for a moment, “Have you ever choked anyone Dr. Reid?”

His breath hitches, and he shakes his head. She likes this new Spencer, the one that doesn’t seem to have some quip for her every two seconds.

“Well I think you might like it, you’ve got nice strong hands, long fingers too. I feel like they might make it the whole way round my neck if you tried?” her voice is soft like velvet as she speaks. He lets out a short pant, and she can see his eyes flicker down to her exposed throat before quickly coming back to her eyes.

“Does the idea of that turn you on Doc?” she teases.

“I— um—” he’s at a loss for words yet again.

“That’s not an answer now is it?” She taunts him, and moves to turn around once again. Feeling accomplished in her goal, finally about to get some sleep. But she’s barely closed her eyes when she can feel him move. He’s so close behind her that she can feel the heat radiating from him. His hand slowly reaches around and grasps her throat gently, she moves herself further into his grip on instinct and he runs with it. Using the leverage to pull himself right up behind her, and she can feel it. He’s hard, and she can feel him pushing himself right up against her ass.

“Is this a satisfactory answer?” he moves in close and whispers against her ear. She’s changed her mind, maybe this is her favorite Spencer.

“Mmhmm” she hums in response, and his fingers tighten around her neck. She pushes her ass further back, moving it up and down slightly to create some friction and she can feel him twitching through the thin layer of her nightdress. He starts to move with her, grinding against her, his other hand resting on her hip, fingertips digging in so that he can pull her closer.

She tries to moan when she feels his nails dig into her but it gets stifled in her throat.

“You sound pathetic” he whispers, “I’ve barely even touched you and you’re whining like a little slut” her hips buck involuntarily at that. “You like it when I call you names?” he teases.

The hand on her hip starts to pull at her nightdress, inching it up higher and higher until his fingers are on her bare skin. He digs his nails in just slightly and drags them around her thigh, letting them settle right at the hem of her panties.

“I bet if I put my fingers in here I’d find you soaking wet for me already?” When she doesn’t answer he tightens the hand around her throat so that it’s almost cutting off the air supply, then loosens immediately. “Answer me” he demands.

“Yes! Yes!” she moans, anything to get his hands to move where she wanted them.

“That’s what I thought” he laughs and lets go of her completely. Her dress hiked up, breathing ragged. She snaps back around to look at him and he’s already curled up on his side of the bed as though nothing’s happened. Left in shock she sits upright, crossing her arms across her chest.

“What the fuck was that?” she has to stop herself from outright shouting at him.

He turns back to look at her, taking in her sullen expression, “Disappointed are we?” he teases with a smirk. And that look makes her want to kill him.

“You’re such a dick” she huffs, and he sits upright next to her.

“You say that like I didn’t just beat you at your own game?” he tries to fight back.

“You didn’t beat me!” she protests

“Oh really, and how’s that?”

“I could feel you, you were rock hard before you even touched me” she spits it out, because if she turned him on first then somehow this didn’t feel as embarrassing.

“Yeah! Because you were teasing me!” he looks frustrated now,

“Exactly! Because I was teasing you, and you fucking liked it” he just rolls his eyes at that, pretending like it’s somehow not true.

“Shut the fuck up” he groans, running his hands through his hair and letting his head fall back against the headboard.

She quirks an eyebrow and looks straight into his sleepy eyes, “Make me.”

In less than a second his hands are on her again, grabbing and pulling her into his lap. One hand is firmly on her back, holding her tight against his chest, the other is tangled in her hair already. Grabbing fistfuls as their lips work against each other.

It’s heated, and ferocious, full of pent up aggression, or tension, or both.

As his tongue works against hers, she lets her own hands wander over him, finally coming to rest at the back of his head, tangling in his curls. When she grinds down into his lap she can feel his cock still hard beneath her, straining against the fabric of his boxers. She thought it was impossible but it felt harder than it had been earlier.

He breaks apart the kiss and they both take in wrecked breaths, chests heaving. He pulls at the hem of her nightdress, pushing it further up her thighs, grabbing a rough handful of her ass as his hands find the exposed skin there.

“We gotta get this off” he whispers, and she nods, pulling it off over her head so that she’s exposed now. Perched in his lap in nothing but her panties. “Fuck” he moans at the sight. His hands come straight up to grab her tits, rough and exited for a moment before easing up, kneading them, getting used to the weight of them in his hands. He brings his mouth down, leaning in so that he can place sloppy open mouthed kisses along her neck and collar bones, trailing down to the valley between her breasts. He takes one of her nipples in his mouth, sucking on it gently then teasing the bud with his teeth. When he releases it and looks up at her his eyes almost look glazed over, dreamy.

“I’ve always had a thing for your tits” he confesses, his lips coming down to repeat the action on the other nipple.

“Your turn to take your shirt off” she whines as he removes his lips, the cold air hardening her nipples now that he’d teased them. He drags his eyes away from her for a second so that he can peel his shirt off over his head.

On pure instinct she rakes her nails across his now bare chest, leaning in close to place kisses into the crook of his neck, moving up painfully slow, kissing along the column of his throat, landing on the soft skin beneath his ear. She can feel the moans rippling in his throat against her lips. While he’s stilled beneath her she takes the opportunity to tuck her hands in behind him, digging her nails into his back and dragging them across the skin with force. Certainly leaving harsh red lines in their wake. The noises that escape him might be the best thing she’s ever heard.

“You like it when I mark you up?” she moans into his ear, “When I make you mine?” she can feel wetness pooling between her own legs as she says the words. The very thought of it turning her on more than she ever thought it could.

Clearly he feels the same, something erupts in him and the hands that had been resting on her hips were now lifting her up and laying her down on the bed. He was on top of her now, his hair framing his face as he looked down at her, and she was biting her fucking lip in anticipation.

He almost can’t even look directly at her so he snakes down her body, littering her torso with kisses and licks. Once he lands at her hips he takes the elastic of her panties between his teeth, pulling it up and letting it go so that it snaps against her stomach. She lets out a low moan.

“Let’s see if I was right earlier, how wet are you for me?” his voice is low as he places small kisses over the cotton, making his way right in between her legs. He pulls back for a second to inspect the fabric, there’s a damp patch covering the majority of the area, as if he didn't know already. “You’re fucking soaked Y/N” he groans and presses his fingers right up against it, forcing the fabric between her folds so that it soaks up even more, “Such a needy little thing aren’t you?”

She can only let out a small whine in response, her teeth biting into her lip so hard she was afraid she might start bleeding.

“Better get rid of these, don’t you think?” he hooks his fingers into either side of her panties, sliding them down her legs. He takes them and places them on his pillow before returning to his position between her legs.

He’s slow and deliberate in his actions, teasing painfully as he places sloppy kisses on the delicate skin inside of her thighs. Stopping right at the top to nip and suck enough to leave a bruise. Taking the time to stop and leave a matching bruise on the other thigh.

She was starting to grow restless, she felt like she was literally aching for any stimulation at all.

“Spencer” she whines, “Please, I’m so fucking turned on already”. She can feel him chuckle, his exhale sends a burst of cold air right against her pussy.

“So impatient” he chastises, but gives in anyway. Laying his tongue flat against her, taking a moment to taste her before he starts to move. Licking deft strokes along her folds, alternating with sucking softly on her clit.

“Spencer, fuck, oh my god” is all she can muster as her back arches up off the bed, her hips squirming as he pins them down. “You feel so fucking good”

He takes the encouragement and brings a finger to her entrance, pushing it in at an agonizing pace, curling it upwards against her once it’s fully inside. “You’re so fucking tight Y/N, do you think you could even handle another finger?” he has to take his mouth off of her to speak but it’s worth it for the downright filthy sounds she makes in response. He takes that as a yes and slowly pushes two fingers in this time. Bringing his lips back down to wrap around her clit and suck.

Her hands fly down to his curls as he works his fingers in and out of her at a relentless pace. She grabs handfuls of his hair and pulls them harshly, not knowing where else to put the energy. “Fuck Spencer, feels so good, don’t stop” she mutters between gasps.

He continues his ministrations and he would be lying if he said the feeling of her hands pulling at his hair weren’t doing something for him.

A moment later and she’s barely able to control her movements, thrashing in the bed as he continues to work his fingers in and out of her, relishing the feeling of her walls tightening around him. Once she’s relaxed again he takes his fingers out, bringing them up to her lips, without telling her to she opens her mouth, taking the two fingers in, letting her tongue move around them to taste herself.

It’s one of the many memories from tonight he knows he wont forget anytime soon. Or ever.

“I can see why you like it” he says, leaning over her, talking into the crook of her neck, “having your hair pulled, feels fucking amazing” she lets out a weak laugh, regaining her strength.

“Told you you liked pain” she reaches down between them, grabbing his cock through his boxers, “You must’ve really liked it” she teases, squeezing as his eyes flutter shut and he nods.

He maneuvers a little so that he can take off his boxers, and finally she gets to see it. It’s perfect, bigger than she expected, it looks painfully hard, precum leaking from the tip. He moves back to hover over her, lingering for a minute to take her in. She thinks there might be something almost sweet behind his expression.

“Just fuck me already” she smirks up at him and he rolls his eyes without even meaning to.

“Will you ever stop antagonizing me?”

“If you fuck me maybe?”

With that he leans down to capture her lips in a heated kiss, she can taste herself on his tongue as it tangles with hers. She can feel him push up against her, the head of his cock just teasing at her entrance before sinking in so slowly she was almost angry.

“Fuck Y/N, you feel so good, so fucking tight, so fucking wet for me” he’s whispering right into her hear and she can barely string together a sentence.

“Spencer, you’re so big, fill me up so good with your fingers, with your cock, fuck” as he starts to move they both start to lose it, her hands digging into his back, her nails sinking into his shoulders leaving small half-moons in his skin. He finally starts to build a steady rhythm, thrusting in and out of her, filling the room with the pornographic sounds of skin on skin, coupled with their moans.

Once she can feel the familiar feeling building within her again she starts to lose control completely, her nails scratching marks into the expanse of Spencer’s back, hearing the little breathy gasps he lets out each time she does might be enough to make her cum all on their own.

“I’m close” she mewls, letting her head fall back against the pillow, exposing her neck, eyes screwing shut.

“Fuck, me too” he takes the opportunity presented to him, and wraps one of his hands around her neck, squeezing ever so slightly.

“Ahh, fuck” she breathes out with the little air that she has, “gonna cum” and she does, he can feel her tighten around his cock, her body writhing beneath his and arching up off he bed as he continues to fuck into her.

He’s following behind just a second later, spilling into her as he collapses back down, releasing his grip on her throat completely and settling on her chest.

They both take a moment. Melting into one another, steading out their breathing.

It’s Y/N who breaks the silence, “So you’ve always had a thing for my tits then?”

He cranes his neck up to look at her, “Shut up” he breathes, laying his head back down on her chest. She cards her fingers through his hair, smoothing it back down.

“Now you know how to make me.”

Masterlist

[plush-rabbit]

Sleeping With Simeon

Request: So because I only trust your representation of Simeon, do u think he would b into somno? Or do you think he would feel violated/taking advantage of MC?

Warnings: Somno

A/N: quick thing because could not get this out of my head and honestly, a fic of this is defs something im gonna work on because somno?? guilt?? angels?? Sign me up) (also i kept this gn but i do use the word breast so yeah!!

For Simeon to take advantage of you when you are unconscious is something that he feels so guilty for. Guilt will eat away at him, break his bones and make him so nervous that he fears he won’t ever be able to look at you again. But he doesn’t tell you or anyone of his sins. He’s remorseful, of course he is, he’s taking advantage of you when he hasn’t had your consent but it just feels so good to be inside of you. You’re so careful with his purity- always making sure that things don’t go to far, always stopping him when his hands start to wander near your sex- and he’s grateful for it but it’s frustrating all at the same time.

At first Simeon doesn’t even notice what he’s begun to think and to want. It’s lustful thinking that a part of him wants to blame Asmodeus or even Solomon. He wants to blame his surroundings for the imperfections in his being, but he knows it isn’t that. It’s something deeper, something much more primal that scares the angel just a bit. He just thinks about you. He thinks of your naked body, how warn you feel when you press yourself against him, and how soft your lips are, the fluidity of your tongue. He can’t help himself when his hand is fisted around his cock, as he bites into the back of his hand to muffle his moans as he thinks of how good you would look on your knees, your eyes wide and lips parted with his cockhead.

He has to be careful with his prayers because despite not being under the constant watch of God, he knows that his prayers must be heard by someone. His hands are clasped together, the rosary between his closed psalm as he murmurs under his breath, chest raising and dipping, each breath more raspy than the last. He’s close to temptation, eager and salivating, as he watches you enter his room and comfort him. It’s an odd touch even though you’ve touched him multiple times. Your hands curved over his shoulders, your lips close to his face that he can smell the sweetness on your tongue from dessert and he doesn’t know what’s changed for you to be so close and for him to want nothing more than to bury himself in your chest, and cup a breast. He wants to feel you under him, but for now, he rests his head on your shoulder with a heavy breath and unblinking eyes.

It’s a low night for him. He doesn’t know how he’s managed to stray from you for so long, but he’s done it despite how hard you’ve made it. He hears you pleasure yourself in the shower, his back against the wooden door and his hands playing with himself, trying to match the movements to yoru sounds. You whimper and whine, murmuring curses under your breath and he can picture your skin- glistening and flushed, your heart racing as your hand plays with your sex. A part of him feels anger for hearing you play with yourself- is he not enough? He’s right outside, you could have called him, but you chose to keep your own sins behind closed doors- and so close to him. You must know what you’re doing. Another part of him is grateful that you’ve decided to do this so close to him- almost as if you were giving him a treat.

When you exit the shower, you don’t speak a word of your actions and neither does he. He wonders if you know that he could hear you. He just wants to get this night over with already. He wants to sleep and hopefully when he wakes up, you’ll be gone for him to pleasure himself. He watches you slip into bed, ignores how he can smell your sex still aching with arousal, and he places himself beside you. You’re quick to curl up beside him with your bare leg against his while you kiss his shoulder and tell him goodnight. You sleep in an oversized shirt- one that belonged to him but he gave to you.

Long after you’ve fallen asleep, you haven’t moved your leg away from him. You jerk in your sleep pushing closer to him and he’s still awake. He can hear your breaths- slow and deep, a signal that you are in deep sleep and that you won’t be awakened. If he closes his eyes, he can hear your more ragged breaths. He grows hard even with his wishful thinking, and when he calls your name, you don’t respond to him. His mind rushes with worry, thoughts invading his mind in a dark room only occupied by you and him. He lets his hand wander to the outside of his pajama pants and palms himself through the fabric. Perhaps pleasuring himself beside you would be enough but it isn’t and it’s late and he’s just tired of waiting, and he gives into sin.

You’re deep into sleep when he begins to rut himself against you. It’s a friction that just so much in such a short period of time. You’re much softer around your thighs, your skin supple and letting him press deeper into you. He’s rapid, pushing himself against you and even long after he’s reached his high, he can’t stop his movements. He’s desperate to feel you, so eager to finally be close to you that after a few minutes, he’s reached his high and even then he isn’t satisfied. You’re against him, sleeping and body already pleasured, that it makes sense for him to slip into you, to turn you on your back and hover above you with a pulsing erection that dribbles his semen onto your tummy.

He’s alone and awake with these thoughts, lust so ingrained in him that any of his worries have finally left him. No longer in Father’s vision, he has free will to do what he wants- to finally give him and take what is his. He’s weak, and with tears in his eyes- whether from guilt or from pleasure- he gives in. His cock is placed between your thighs, his hands clammy as they close them together over his cock, letting himself take pleasure in how warm and soft they feel around him. It’s a loving hug that he had never had the opportunity to feel. He’s above you, head hidden into the crook of your neck, begging in his mind that you don’t awaken to find this image of him taking advantage of you. His breath is warm against your neck, his tongue peeking out to wet his lips only to meet your neck, feeling the pulsing pint of your beating heart. His cock is warmed by your thighs, his seed spreading thin against you.

Against his better judgement, he turns you over and slips off your undergarments, letting your sex finally breath. He spreads you before him, your hole stretching out and under the pale moonlight, he can see the pink flesh that calls to him. His spit glistens on your skin, slipping inside of you and his cock throbs in want. Under his breath, he curses, his head dipping down as he slips into you. You’re much tighter than he would have thought- your walls clinging to him and molding to his shape. He pushes himself to the base, his eyes fluttering to a close and he regrets not doing this sooner. He realizes why falling for humans is so taboo- nothing could ever compare to your gummy walls that close around his cock, that pull him deeper with every thrust, the way that you whine and shift, how your hole clenches around him with every movement. He wishes that you were awake, to see your face scrunch and your hands clench around his arms begging for him to push himself deeper.

His seed fills you, spilling out and sticking to his cock in heavy strands when he pulls out. He huffs, his hands on your thighs, watching your hole twitch and spill out more of him. Simeon leans over and tilts your head, kissing your cheek and cupping your weeping sex. With careful hands, he cleans you, removing any trace of what he’s done and letting the night only be a memory to him. At the cusp of sleep, the guilt settles in and he brings you close, feeling your hands go to find him and hold him tight in your grasp. He whispers an apology to you, and tries to ignore the satisfaction that makes his heart race.

[cowboyhorsegirl]

my eyes spy a character opinion ask game, so you know what im here to do.

i want the opinions™ on the emh!avengers 👀

(or just tony, and 2 other characters of your choice if the avengers is too many characters.)

thank you so muchhhhhh for the ask! :D

i started trying to answer this by narrowing down which 3 characters to put up on the bingo board and you can clearly see how well that went jfkdsljfdfk

Tony Stark

EMH!Tony characterization AND character design is so fucking *clenches fist* just!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know i've talked about EMH!Tony specifically at length before but unfortunately the words simply aren't coming to me right now to describe how much i like him (I like him so, so much). One thing I will say is that I miss the way his nose looked in the first episode before they finished yassifying his character design. He still looks great after they change it, but S1E1 "Iron Man Is Born!" Tony is my desi king and i adore him <3

Steve Rogers

I love EMH!Steve so much, I feel like of the multiversal Steve's, this Steve is much more self-assured, specifically in the period of time immediately after he is found in the ice by the Avengers. His character design took some getting used to, but honestly by the end of S1, he had fully won me over to the point where I no longer feared for the structural integrity of his top-heavy weight distribution and actually liked how Shaped he is.

This Steve is a bastard who's first name is Malicious and last name is Compliance, and we love him for it. I adored how you could see him actively loosening up around the other Avengers as he spent more and more time with them. The difference between Steve just out of the ice and Steve at the end of S1 is so palpable and it's incredibly satisfying to see him come into himself more as he adjusts to the future and to his team.

My only complaint is while i was enthralled by the [REDACTED] story arc, I'm still very salty about the fact that Steve is basically MIA for like. half a season :/ which considering the whole show only lasted two seasons is upsetting :(

Janet Van Dyne

I actually managed to pull together some coherent thoughts about Jan here, but the long and short of it is that I love her I'd marry her I'd die for her I'd kill for her she's a bestie she's my ride or die she's so high maintenance she's got terrible taste in men she's got incredible taste in women she keeps tissues in her purse but she never cries in public.

Her character design.... literally what is there to say? Perfection, perfection, perfection, *chef's kiss*, absolutely not a single note because she is flawless.

I also have a very soft spot for scenes in which her teammates protect her from huge explosions while she's Wasp-sized <3 <3 They all care about her so much and she's so fierce and competent but it's also so lovely to see her teammates having her back when she needs it :')

Bruce Banner

Honestly EMH!Bruce Banner is my favorite iteration of Bruce Banner/Hulk that I've seen yet. I really really really really appreciate how, even though Hulk has comedic moments, his character is not reduced to comic relief. And I loved how the show portrayed Hulk's and Bruce's relationship with each other, the way they're both distinct personalities who are both good people that ultimately want the same things (acceptance, the chance to do & be good in the world) while also being caught in this struggle to balance power and control between them that sometimes catches them at odds with each other. Extremely compelling stuff.

I love both of their character designs separately. I also love how both of them interact with other people, namely Clint. EMH S1 especially is rife with bruceclint fodder if you're interested in that ship!

Dr. Doom

Oh my god, what's NOT to love about EMH!VVD???? Truly, EMH is Victor Von Doom's world and we're all just living in it. He has such a commanding presence in the (sadly few) scenes that he's in, and I love how whatever the Avengers/Fantastic Four are doing is always incidental to what he's got planned. Like, yeah, he gets that they're trying to stop him but he truly could not care less about it and that's so hot of him.

My headcanon is that every single character in EMH has a daddy kink for Dr. Doom and NO i am not projecting and if i were what of it? Mind your business.

Hank Pym

Now Hank... Hank is a tough one. I don't think it's any secret that I despise him, and for all of S1 and most of S2 that was very true. The problem with Hank is that politically, I fuck with him the hardest, but unfortunately for him I do not watch animated children's TV shows from the early 2010s to get my politics validated. And unfortunately for ME, EMH made the character who has the best politics also the most annoying motherfucker in the series. *spits*

But the thing is, Hank makes a very intense about-turn in characterization somewhere in the middle of S2. Basically, what happens is that at the beginning of EMH, Hank is Ant-Man, some time in late S1/early S2 (I can't really remember whoops!), Hank stops being Ant-Man and it's all very angsty of him, and then the big characterization change happens when Hank is revealed to have created a new superhero persona by the name of Yellowjacket.

All of this mostly makes sense in canon, but even so it's kind of jarring, which is almost 100% due to the fact that the creators of the show knew they only had like 3/4ths of a season left to tie up all the loose plot threads as best they could. Because of this, the show ended before I could really see how New-And-Improved Hank deals with a lot of the personal, interpersonal, and professional conflicts that plagued him during S1, which would have been really fun to see and to judge if he really had changed as much as it seemed like he had. It's all very interesting. IDK how I feel about it.

I also want to say that, even though I (mostly) can't stand Hank and I desperately love Jan, Jan and Hank together is a terrible, terrible couple and it's not all Hank's fault either. Hank doesn't trust Jan's autonomy and capabilities in the field. Jan doesn't respect Hank's scientific endeavors and professional passions. Both of them fundamentally disagree on the roles and responsibilities of superheroes in society. It's a mess. I like to believe that if the show hadn't been cancelled, there would have been an arc of Tony and Jan dating each other in order to make both of their real romantic interests jealous, which would have at least made all this back and forth worth it, but alas. Alas...

[harveywritings92]

BNHA Vampire soulmate au: they feed off you for the first time.

They explain to you how blood tastes to them and enjoy a meal... 

Tw: Blood drinking, heavy petting

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Hawks: It's been a year you and Keigo seem to be together, you've been talking about moving in together anywho, You got a paper cut and Keigo who was crashing at your placed smelled it from your living room, he nearly gave you a heart attack when you turned around to see him standing behind you, his gold eyes had red tinge as he eyed your finger like a like man who hasn't eaten in a week. "Ey, there I thought you've already had enough to drink today?" you were referring to the black and red sports bottle he'd brought with him. "I did, It's just- You have no Idea how hard I've been holding back, your blood it does something to me..." Keigo husked eyes locked on the crimson nectar dripping down your hand he was salivating and swallowed hard. "My blood...does it smell good?" you asked timidly.

The blond snapped out of his trance. "Petal, you smell like ripe strawberries and chocolate to me..." Keigo has already told you how smoker's blood smells and taste to him, well you now you were curious about non-smokers, and asked if blood type also has an effect on the blood's flavor? the winged vamp was happy to answer! 

Smokers: Charcoal/moldy bread.

Drunks: depends on how drunk they are, it's somewhere between hard soda and hard wine or liquor.

Drug users: no idea, he says they smell like rotten eggs, and he's seen how loopy other vamps act after feeding on them and stays clear of them.

Sick/injured: He stays away from sick people but they smell like a cross between a hospital or a funeral home.

Virgins: sweet/tart like fruit-punch.

regular folks: like Sangria the fruitiness is still there but it's mixed with bitter wine . 

"Blood types don't really change up the flavors, but I've noticed type As have a spice to them, Bs start off sour, and type Os are pretty mellow." You hummed very intrigued at what you were hearing then, noticed Keigo was still eyeing your finger, like a starved animal, you looked down at the cut then back Keigo and noticed his wings were tense and he was clenching his jaw, after some thought you sighed you held your hand out to him. "Go head before your jaw breaks" His wings bristled. "I'm not some desperate leech y'know." he huffed you shrugged and went to went to put a band-aid on, but Keigo stopped you.

"Let's not be hasty here..."  He stammered out at you cocked a brow at him. "Yer really giving me mixed signals here." you huffed did he want your blood or not? " Um... Are you sure about this?" he said blush adoring his cheeks. "I'm just letting you suck my finger...Why are you acting like I just asked you to pop my cherry?" Keigo's face was as red as a cherry as you said this. "Because you essenually are..." He explained the big difference between mates and prey, on instinct he wouldn't give a crap about some rando he picked up off the street or whatever mystery pack the commission gives him, but you... 

You're his soulmate, his fated one... and right now your pretty much telling him to make you his! He's not gonna stop at your finger, once he's had a taste he's going for your neck! And once he bites you that's it, you have his mark forever, You paused absorbing what the blond male just told you...Well, he hardly leaves you alone already might as well go all in? "Do it." Hawks's eyes were red now. "Come" he hissed sitting across from you and gesturing to sit in his lap.

You complied and watched Keigo warily as he brought your finger to his mouth, immediately you felt a shock go through you the second Keigo's tongue started lapping at the cut, he moaned tasting your blood for the first time. He was right you tasted every bit as sweet as he thought you would...*more...more...* his monster groaned euphorically he felt the cut on your finger close from his saliva's healing properties.

Keigo's eyes drifted towards your neck, You gasp feeling his grip on your hand tighten before his free hand found it's way behind your head, you tensed seeing Keigo's fangs elongate but before he could pierce your neck he smelled your distress.

His rough hold on you suddenly slacked and his hands lowered to your hips his thumbs gently rubbed you sides as he left little kisses and nip along your jaw before you calmed down enough to trust Hawks wasn't gonna tear your throat out. "Just relax." he cooed kissing you neck a couple more times like a countdown. one...two... three! 

You tried not to scream as you felt his fangs pierce your neck, your fingers gripped his jacket as you felt yourself be drained... then like a switch had been slowly tuned the pain tuned into pleasure? moans started sneaking their out from your mouth which confused you, the blond vampire groaned in ecstasy at how rich your blood tasted with lust mixed in he buck his hips against you, after what seemed like hours Keigo's fangs finally retracted from your flesh and lap at the two holes he left on your neck, they sealed as you whimpered weakly Keigo just shushed and you. "It's alright kid, you did good" he cooed kissing your head as you started drifting out of consciousness.   

When you woke up your head was pounding like a bad hangover Keigo was cradling you in his lap looking relieved and sheepish, he explained he went a little overboard with his drinking and venom dosing and you got drunk on him and passed out! you must've looked panicked cos Keigo assured you were completely fine, the venom isn't lethal... (To you anyways, one of the benefits of being a vampire's soulmate.) Though you might be a bit feverish and cranky for the next couple days.  

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Dabi: You were on your period so yes Dabi's self restraint was breaking! you had no fucking idea what you blood was doing to him you smelled like a 5 star meal and all he could do was sit and drown in his own drool and watch you, like a hawk as you moaned and groaned about  cramps and ruining your pajama shorts when you woke up this morning! a low growl escaped the faux raven haired vamp when he saw you toss out a bag with said aforementioned shorts, it took every nerve in him not to run after the garbage truck like a starved dog! before something you said snapped him out of his trance. "hn...What ya say?" he looked at you drinking his third pack of cow's blood.

"I asked if my blood smells good and what does it taste like?"

"I wouldn't know haven't tasted yours yet..."

"Well, what about anyone else's?" 

"Why are you suddenly interested?"

You huffed "Sorry for wanting to know you..." and were about to tell him to forget it, when the the undead cremator spoke up. "Mocha mixed wit' something spicy like cinnamon or rum" he muttered not looking at you. Of course you cocked a brow now intrigued, now that that was out of the bag he might as well tell ya the rest. 

Smokers: burnt rubber/earwax (eh, everyone was a kid once, had to know what that gunky crap in your ear tasted like.)

Drunks: Depends on how much they've drank, it could between hard water to straight up red wine.

Drug users: the one time he fed on one he thought they were just a pothead, but in turned out they had ate a few shrooms which made them kinda taste like... orange juice and black liquorice?... Honestly he can't give a straight answer, as he was too busy trippin out on another plain of existence to remember.  

Sick/injured: doesn't feed off the sick, but they smell like a hospital or a morgue.

Virgins: like apples and honey

Regular folks: they taste like Apple cider. 

Animal blood: kinda tastes like artificial cherry cough syrup, and he hates it!

"Then why do you drink it?" you gulped seeing his cerulean eyes flash red for a brief second as he locked eyes with you. "Why?...*growl* your standing in front of me smelling like a walking buffet and you have to gall ask me why I drinking this crap?!" he snapped crushing the blood pack in his hand as you started backing away, you were nervous that only fueled Dabi's sadistic side you learned early that he enjoyed agitating you via flashing his fangs, popping behind you out of seemingly nowhere, and faking you out.

I.E. making it seem like he was gonna bite you then blow air in your ears before walking away laughing at your reaction, something about putting you on edge and having your adrenaline pumping through your veins adds more "spice" to your scent, it happens so often that Dabi started noticing arousal was mixing in with your fear, you bet your ass he started mocking you for getting off on him scaring you. 

Of course right now you weren't sure if he was seriously mad, or making fun of you again? He was not making fun of you again he was seriously pissed off, The nerve of you walking around asking him about useless crap, and offering him nothing in return! Dabi had you backed against a wall face buried in your shoulder you felt him sniffing you and flinched you felt him nipping along your neck, and like all the other times he's riled you he smelled that that little speck of arousal through the fear. 

He let out a low chuckle causing you to to become fed up, you though he was screwing with you again! "Goddamm-.hm!" You were cut off by sharp yelp as Dabi's fang suddenly pierced your neck! oh god it hurt! you whimpered tried shoving Dabi off! he groaned pushing your back against the wall, suddenly your body felt weird... you moaned it was hot and and everything felt sensitive...

You barely registered Dabi lifting your legs up you instinctively wrapped them around his hips, he let out a low purr and his demeanor became less angry and forceful, his shoulders relaxed as his hands gently rubbed your legs, after what seemed like hours Dabi finally pulled away from your neck lapping at the pin holes he left on, he checked on you only to find you passed out his eye had a rare tenderness to them as he eyed your flushed appearance. "Well aren't you high maintenance." he cooed his thumb caressing you chin before taking you to bed.   

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Bakugou: He didn't want say what you smelled like to him as it made him look soft, he finally cracks after more poking a prodding. "If I fucking do will you shut up and let me sleep?!" he hissed it was 8: 47 p.m. and he was tired which confused you, the sun was still out and you could hear kids playing in the streets outside. You heard a angry growl Katsuki's ears were pink. "S'mores...you smell like S'mores, happy?" he groaned when you started shaking him, no point in trying to sleep now that he's lit the fuse! He gave you the sum up of what blood tastes like to him.

Smokers: old news paper and figs.

Drug users: No clue stays clear of them, they smell like pickled eggs.

Drunks: Somewhere between hard water and flavored vodka.

Virgins: Why would you want to kno-... arhg! Coffee and vanilla!

Regular folks: Irish coffee and bitter mint.

Then you you started asking about blood types and what it was when he drank, Next thing you knew Katsuki let out this frustrated bellow! You yelped as he grabbed your wrists and pinned you under him. "You wanna know what it feels like?" you sheepishly mumbled a meek "yes" but the blonds red eyes narrowed. "Hah? say that again I couldn't hear ya?" he jeered trying to get you to use your voice, you repeated "Yes" again a bit more forceful as the ash blond unbuttoned the shirt he let you borrow exposing your neck to him. 

Katsuki frowned he could smell your reluctance, then grumbled in annoyance as he recalled Shitty-hair's advice ""Take it slow, be gentle..."" He took a deep breath and carefully buried his face in you neck, You flinched expecting him to clamp down, giving how much you annoyed him, but to your surprise; Katsuki instead opted to started leaving kisses along your jaw and collar bone.

You bit back a moan when he found you sweet spot and causing Katsuki to smirk if wasn't so hungry and tired right now, he might've taken this much farther, but the mouthwatering scent of your blood calling him was too much to pass up. "I'm gonna do it" he husked as you nodded and with that, Katsuki's fangs pierced your neck.

You gasped in pain felling them puncture your skin as Katsuki grasped your hand, the blond groaned in euphoria your blood tasted every bit as rich and sweet as he thought it would, he could smell your discomforted and on instinct inject a doses of his venom into your bloodstream in minutes your blood's flavor intensified with added lust, your tiny moans and whimpers were music to his hears, soon his instincts were warning him stop.

Katsuki's fangs retracted he lapped at the punctures he left on your neck, before pulling away to look at you and snorted you were a flushed out mess. "That sate your curiosity?" he huffed fixing your shirt you tried to say something but were too exhausted to say anything tangible, the ash blond chuckled and settled down next to you for the night.   

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