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bigskydreaming · 5 years ago

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A good description. For my part, I don't like talking about it because of my own experiences. I can, however, see Batman, a story where nearly every memorable villain and even the protagonist himself is a Svengali, could attract a disproportionate number of rape apologists, though fandom is full of them. (Oh, hey, that's the other thing with Jason. Talia.)

Ugh I’m so sorry to hear you can relate, and I totally understand not wanting to talk about it. I have no idea what your particular situation is, obviously, but I also want to reiterate since its been awhile since I’ve mentioned this part.....I don’t feel any like....basically, my choice to talk about this stuff is simply put, MY choice, made for my own reasons, that aren’t a reflection on any other survivor. There are a million and one reasons NOT to come forward, or to struggle with it or not to be open about what happened to us, and none of them are a reflection on any of us, but rather the position it puts us in.

Again, I don’t know your situation or what gender you might be or anything else, and this isn’t at all because your ask made me feel defensive or anything like that. This is just something I’ve wanted to put into words for awhile now seems relevant today, and here’s as good a place as any to put it down:

For myself, being a male survivor....like, there’s never really been any getting around the existence of that kinda, idk, caveat that not many male survivors come forward. Sure, we all see the posts and tweets reminding “remember, men can be raped too!” But that’s not the same thing as men sharing their stories and experiences the way far more women have come forward. And that’s why I ultimately began talking about my own experiences in order to express how I felt about my own positioning in society and how as a survivor I interact and am interacted with by others. Because frankly, there wasn’t anywhere else I could really look to in order to see others talking or sharing about similar things and see myself reflected in what they were saying or the experiences they were describing. So, if I couldn’t find what I felt I needed or could have benefited from, I figured at least I could put it out there in case anyone else who could relate could benefit from mine.

Except, ultimately I’ve come to feel that I honestly don’t believe its that men just flat out don’t come forward with their stories or experiences, its that even when we do, we’re rarely signal boosted - as you can kinda see from the fact that I can post the most inane shit and get it to a thousand notes, but in the five plus years I’ve been making posts about this subject, I’m lucky if I can get a single post on the topic to double digits as far as notes go.

People just flat out are a combination of uncomfortable with the novelty of actual discussions about and around male survivors as well as being not really sure how to talk about it because we’ve never really developed the tools for it.

And to be 100% clear, this has NOTHING to do with female survivors, as a point of comparison or ANYTHING else. It drives me up a fucking WALL when people try and compare and contrast even just how much men being raped is talked about vs women being raped, no matter WHAT their reasons are, because I promise people, I PROMISE - NO survivor, of any gender, has EVER benefitted from being pitted against other survivors to ANY degree. Its not a zero sum game and it doesn’t help male survivors to pull shit like “well at least female survivors are acknowledged” because a) eww, and b) nobody asked anyone to say that on our behalf, and c) hyper-visibility isn’t a privilege (or whatever the best parallel to that might be, I’m not trying to appropriate an anti-blackness specific term so much as its the closest comparison I have at the moment for something that isn’t even a matter of marginalized identities but rather marginalized experiences) and d) its COMPLETELY beside the point and actually misses the point by a WIDE margin.

Because what I’ve come to realize over the years, from my own experiences and talking and sharing with survivors of all genders and demographics and walks of life, is that first off....nobody really needs the reminder that hey, men can be raped too. We see it happen all throughout entertainment and other aspects of society, its not an experience that’s hidden away from the light, its just not ever really CALLED what it is, or followed up on, and talked about.

Like Dick Grayson isn’t a statistical outlier in media. Take Horrible Bosses, a summer blockbuster comedy a few years back with a cast of fairly big name comedians, and whose running B plot throughout the whole movie was Jennifer Aniston’s character wanting to rape her employee, Charlie Day’s character. Not only was this not objectionable to audiences in any sizable way, not only did this never really get called out as wtf by critics and reviews, the movie was successful enough to warrant a sequel with even BIGGER names in its cast, like Christopher Pine, and the continuation of the Aniston’s character trying to rape Charlie Day’s subplot. With zero awareness. And its not like that’s the only movie. There’s plenty more I could name.

Or then you’ve got television, where like, take Riverdale, a well-promoted, well known CW show....whose first few episodes featured the lead character Archie in a sexual relationship with his much older female teacher. Except not really a relationship, because that’s textbook, no debate, literal statutory rape.....that ended with Archie’s character being condemned for it as though he were on equal footing with the teacher, who ultimately left town, and it never really acknowledged that he was literally a victim of statutory rape, that any teacher who does that is not an equal partner but a predator. I stopped watching the show for a lot of reasons by like the fourth episode, but I see enough gifs on tumblr to know that several seasons later, this left little enough impact that some kind of Archie-goes-to-jail plotline has resulted in more memes and jokes about prison rape than I can count, and zero awareness that people are compounding jokes about a character who is literally already an unacknowledged survivor.

That’s one. Or you can take Once Upon A Time, a popular ABC show of multiple seasons, and the running subplot where Robin Hood’s character is raped by the Wicked Witch literally the same way Dick was by Mirage in the comics. She shapeshifts into Maid Marian, who ends up dead, and has ‘sex’ with Robin Hood (no, she rapes him) and ends up pregnant. Not only is this never really called what it is, later on, other characters LITERALLY CHEW HIM OUT for objecting to this baby being left in the care of her mother, aka his rapist, and for ‘not being willing to give her the benefit of the doubt/let her change’ as though him not wanting to co-parent with his rapist is no different from any of the show’s other dubious redemption storylines....except for the fact that this particular part of her redemption arc isn’t ever really one she actually needs redeeming for, because nobody ever fucking points out that she literally raped him and he was her victim. Fast forward to the end of the series, Robin Hood’s been dead for seasons, the Wicked Witch is happily redeemed and has a loving wholesome relationship with her daughter, named after Robin Hood like they were some kind of loving, happy family instead of a rapist, her victim, and the child that was born of it.

Or you can take Grimm, a fairly successful NBC show of multiple seasons WHICH LITERALLY DID THE EXACT SAME THING. The main character Nick was raped in season two by the antagonist of the time, who shape shifted into his wife and had ‘sex’ with him, with him not realizing the truth until later on, by which point she’s pregnant with his child. Fast forward to the end of the show, not only was this never really called what it was, his wife’s character was killed off seasons earlier and he is now, get this, ‘happily’ in a romantic and sexual longterm relationship with his rapist (who he by now knows exactly what she did do and what happened between them and just.....got over it without ever actually like, reacting to it)....and oh yeah, not only are they raising the child born of it together, they’ve had a second child since then.

Anyone ever hear much outcry about the male rapes in these shows? And again, like Horrible Bosses, tip of the iceberg. There’s a LOT more shows I could name, just like there are movies.

Or take comics. Its not even just Dick Grayson that’s a survivor. Or Bruce. Or Jason as you pointed out, which......I know a lot of people ignore both Morrison AND Winick’s take on Talia in order to not write her as the rapist she is in their stories, which I can totally understand as she was a well-established character of color for long before either of them got their hands on her and its perfectly valid for people not to want to have to write her as being tarnished as a rapist because two different writers wrote her that way....without.....either of them ever really acknowledging that was literally how they were writing her. I myself write her as a character of complicated and often dubious morality, but never a rapist, for that reason and many others, but its definitely there. And even in a fandom that has never lacked for acknowledgment of Dick being a survivor whose rapists were women.....a LOT of people still romanticize Jason’s ‘relationship’ with Talia as being something other than a grown woman taking advantage of a minor in an extremely vulnerable and compromised state.....with a TON of other takes out there about the two of them, in posts and fics alike, where its somehow danced around or outright called something other than “that time Talia raped Jason in the comics.”

But its not just the Batbooks. Its like how I’ve mentioned in the past, Garth Ennis wrote into one of his storylines that Kyle Rayner was raped when he went to Gotham one time.....not to make it a plot point, but to use it as a JOKE. Or take Marvel comics, Bobby Drake, one of my other all-time favorite characters....who is also a rape survivor of multiple occasions, without it ever acknowledged as such. Like, he was briefly in a relationship with Mystique, who turned out to have entered the relationship under false pretenses, shocking, and who used having sex with him to depower him and take him out of the upcoming fight between the X-Men and the Marauders, which...we don’t have time to unpack all that right now. But fast forward about a year later, and Bobby has since gotten back together with his ex-girlfriend Opal Tanaka.....who, it turns out, is actually just Mystique in disguise, having sex with him again without it ever being called rape since he was consenting to sex with Opal, not the woman who slept with him that one time just to make sure he was helpless to stop a whole lot of people from getting killed. But hey, forget about Mystique! How about that time Chuck Austen wrote him ‘having sex’ with an empath who was EXPLICITLY noted in the narrative as using her powers to manipulate his emotions to even WANT to have sex with her in the first place, and when an issue later it comes out she’s married and her husband starts beating up Bobby for ‘sleeping with his wife’ all the other characters present, all of them friends and teammates of his, condemn Bobby for this without it ever being acknowledged that he was literally manipulated into it by a superpower and he was the victim.

Again. Tip. Of. The. Iceberg.

But you see what I mean? Male rape isn’t an outlier and it isn’t an unknown....its everywhere! Its just.....never called that, really, and never really talked about, even by people who normally would, except for the fact that I don’t think we as a society have ever really forced ourselves to FIND a way to talk about it, because of the fact that like.....the very notion of it threatens and undermines the essence of the patriarchal beliefs that are hammered into us all from day one. Even when we know the patriarchy is crap, we still have so much ingrained in us from early childhood that stuff like this, which is a blatant symptom of it even if not one aimed primarily at disadvantaging women.....like, it slips under the radar because its never fully called out or spotlighted in loud enough or widely enough ways to keep us from overlooking how much its impacted our POVs.

Blatantly put, the patriarchy and sexism RELIES on the idea that men are somehow more powerful/stronger/whatthefuckever than women. And male victims - of abuse as well as rape, though definitely rape.....like, even just a widespread awareness of our existence is enough to kinda destabilize that belief that is so foundational to the patriarchy its DEPENDENT on it being upheld as unassailable truth.

Because if forced to acknowledge that men are just as vulnerable to even something like rape as anyone else in the ‘right’ situations or dynamics, it forces confrontation with the reality that no matter what the patriarchy has claimed for as long as its existed.....men aren’t inherently any more powerful, or stronger, or resistant to harm/humiliation/VICTIMIZATION as anyone else.

And the patriarchy flat out can’t afford that confrontation, so it can’t afford to acknowledge male survivors.

Again, just want to be beyond clear - nowhere here am I okay with making this about a compare and contrast between the experiences and interactions society has with male survivors and around male rape, and the same with female survivors and rape. Because I mean, we all should be more than aware that society as a whole sucks at the acknowledgment, addressing and handling of rape in any context, in any of the ways it comes up as a topic, in terms of any survivor who comes forward no matter who or when or how.....like. We suck at this topic, and at any and all discussions about this topic. Period. Flat out. So when I say the patriarchy can’t afford to acknowledge male survivors, I am in no way aiming to diminish the reality that it does just as fucking an abyssmal job at acknowledging and responding to female survivors....the point here is not the poor reception any and all survivors receive to disclosing their experiences in our society, but rather the specific why of this when it comes to male survivors just as the particular subject of focus here.

And again, like, my only credentials here are just like. My life experiences, lol. I’m not trying to claim anything more or other than that, make no mistake. I’m a literal college drop out, this is not the result of comprehensive studies or vetted by the scientific method. This is literally just “like, my opinion, man” and makes no pretenses at being other than that. Its just the conclusions I’ve formed over the years and why, completely anecdotal and not aiming to be any kind of authoritative or expert viewpoint with my personal take here. Largely because I haven’t really found anywhere that I feel the conversation has proceeded enough in earnest that its even at a point that would ALLOW for that yet. So this is all more just.....my feel of things, and why, as just kinda idk, hopefully a starting point for further ACTUAL exploration of all this. My attempts at starting the kind of conversation I feel we need to be having in order to be at all productive instead of just constantly spinning around in circles, which is what it so often feels like.

So when I say I think the patriarchy can’t honestly AFFORD to acknowledge male survivors specifically, I’m not positing some grand conspiracy or active cover-up.

Because nothing like that is even necessary.

Its built into the framework of the system itself. Its not that I believe anyone goes out of their way to “hide” male survivors from anyone, I’m saying there’s no need. Because its been so ingrained into us from such a young age and in so many ways, most of us never even think to question whether anything is even being hidden, or if its just as simple as, well men don’t really come forward, because their pride and self-esteem is so impacted by what happened to them, due to the expectations heaped on men by the patriarchy.

Its kinda stunning, actually. Even while ACKNOWLEDGING that the patriarchy does impact male survivors in ways as well, we’re kinda....led away from the ACTUAL ways and ACTUAL reasons why....because despite literally calling the patriarchy out as the bad guy in this way, it still manages to weasel itself out of this confrontation by virtue of the fact that you can’t ever really effectively address a problem when you’re being misdirected to a tangent that’s not really the REAL problem that needs addressing.

So personally, I’m of the belief that its not that men just don’t ever really come forward. Its that even when some do, like myself, we can scream our heads off for years and it just echoes into the void, because its not being heard in the ways we need to be heard in order to effectively....signalboost our stories and experiences and needs. Much like I just mentioned above, its misdirection......everybody’s too focused on addressing an issue that doesn’t actually NEED solving (ie, reminding everyone/promoting awareness that men too, CAN be raped), and thus at least feeling productive, feeling like they’re contributing to tackling the problem.....that meanwhile, the ACTUAL problem (men CAN be raped too, and are, and here are men talking about it only for the signal to get lost and fizzle out rather than get boosted)....it flies right under the radar.

Because in line with what I said earlier about how it does no good to compare our experiences, both in terms of assault and our lives in the aftermath, with women survivors - its because its apples and oranges.

Rape isn’t a gendered issue, because it can happen to anyone of any gender, at any time....its situational. Dependent on context. Rape culture, however, IS a gendered issue.

Because rape culture, how our society INTERACTS with the very idea of abuse and rape and its victims and perpetrators....spills out entirely from that core foundation of the patriarchy and sexism, and thus much like those things themselves, how it affects women survivors is always going to be totally different from how it affects men who are survivors. Our experiences are not interchangeable - that has nothing to do with being better or worse, more publicized or less, etc, etc. They just....manifest different ways. The cause of our trauma-related problems might be the same thing, but the problems it creates for us are not, and none of us can ever really benefit from it being treated as a one size fits all kinda deal, nor is it to our benefit to treat it like there’s only so much conversation about the topic available to go around.

What I mean here is, like I said, the patriarchy at the foundation of our society can’t afford for it to be widely acknowledged that men can be victimized too.

But it can’t actually stop this from happening, given that its basis for saying it never happens is an inherent uneven-ness that only exists because it made it exist, not because like....we’re innately born uneven.

So....it had to come up with a narrative, a response, for when men DID step forward and say hey, I too was abused. I was raped. Etc.

And it did.

As a result, a lot of women don’t come forward because they fear not being believed, with reason. And this is true for a lot of men as well, just as the following is true for a lot of women too....

Which is that IMO the bigger reason/more immediate reason a lot of men don’t come forward, is that our concern isn’t so much that we won’t be believed....

Its that we will be believed, but rather than this getting us the help we need or the justice we ask for, it only ever really creates more problems for us, due to the patriarchy’s go-to fix-it job for this situation:

Paint the male victim as being not so much a victim as a victimizer-in-training.

See, the lie that men are innately more powerful, stronger, more ‘deserving’ of being in charge can’t afford the admittance than men are also vulnerable, can be victimized, taken advantage of.....

But it CAN afford the idea that men can be abused/raped/etc with this going on to eventually result in us becoming abusers/rapists/victimizers ourselves in the future, as long as THIS is kept the clear focus and emphasis of the narrative.

Because after all, there’s nothing in the idea that we all inevitably take out our pain (whatever it may come from) on others that contradicts the idea that we’re stronger, more powerful, etc.

And its not like the patriarchy and its supporters give a shit if this throws even other men under the bus, because the only thing institutions and systems of power actually care about is POWER.

They’re not our friend, even if in a different life, we could have ended up wielding more of that power than we do in this one. Even if we do in other aspects of our lives gain social and other forms of power more easily/with less obstacles than other people.

They only care what we can do for them, to spread that power, perpetuate it, preserve it....so just like white supremacy will happily screw over poor white people and America doesn’t give a shit about its prison population and the LGBTQ+ community so often ignores the issues of its members of color and so on.....the patriarchy is more than willing to make male survivors from any and all groups and communities take the hit it has no intention of taking by letting it be confirmed its built on sand and bullshit.

So just as much as we’re ingrained from early childhood with the idea that men can’t be victimized the way others can, the linked lesson we’re taught is that men who have been hurt badly or in certain ways will almost certainly end up hurting others.....

With the implicit acknowledgment that there was just an admittance that we can be hurt badly/in certain ways ending up just swiftly glossed over. As the focus is instead kept on the harm done to our hypothetical future victims.

Because the easiest way to keep someone from being sympathetic, is to give people someone else to sympathize with MORE. To give people reason to feel a person doesn’t even deserve your sympathy in the first place.

And so now think about not how often we see men victimized by abuse and rape in media, or how often we see men portrayed as survivors and yes, victims of these things.....

Think instead of how often in media we see men who victimize others, who are the antagonists, the villains, the serial killer/rapist/abuser of the week.......and with it offhandedly being dropped into a scene and then never really focused on again, that these men were almost always said to have been abused or raped or victimized in the past....and this is the REASON for why they all ended up doing what they did.

Suddenly, the numbers go up, don’t they? The second you think about it from THAT angle?

Its just....the reason that angle literally exists to the extent it does in society and the messages we’re fed, the entertainment we’re given.....is because that’s the POINT.

Because its natural for us not to think of any of those men as victims when by the time we find that part out, we’ve already internalized our view of them as victimizers, and solidly put our sympathies with their victims in the present. Because what was done to them in the past doesn’t excuse what they do to others in the present. Being hurt doesn’t give you carte blanche to hurt others. We all know this. Hence....WHY IT WORKS.

Except, this isn’t actually a reflection of reality. The myth of the perpetual cycle of abuse is just that, a myth. Oh, it happens, certainly. With men, with women, quite probably more often with men than women, not much doubt about that....

But its not that it happens, we’re told. That’s not the issue here.

Its that we’re pretty much told it ALWAYS happens. Its always GOING to happen. That there’s no real point in sympathizing with a male victim who is most likely going to end up victimizing someone else in the future and thus he’s not really gonna deserve your sympathy at that point, will he? Which makes him not really worth wasting it on him in the first place. Makes it easy to come up with something to focus on more instead of his story or experiences, something just as deserving of your focus or sympathy, but that you’re less likely to end up regretting in the future like you would if a male survivor you sympathized with now ends up in the news five years down the line for having hurt someone else.

Because over centuries and generations the idea of male survivors at all has been cultivated into having this almost mythic quality, there’s just enough subtle feeling of wrongness around the very idea of it, like, that it just doesn’t quite make sense...that it ends up being almost a relief to give our minds a reason, an explanation for why they don’t have to come up with a way to adjust the paradigm there, to make room for that idea, realign a worldview into one where there’s a specific spot for male survivors much like any other subject that needs focusing on or evaluating for whatever reason.

And this point, this conclusion that no matter how tragic what happened to make a male survivor was, it will only ever ultimately end up in the same spot, with him later on passing along the harm, a warped kind of paying it forward....this is hammered home over and over. We see it everywhere, without even often realizing what it is we’re seeing and internalizing, like with the examples I cited of all the times men are raped in entertainment without it being called that. Its the flip side of that....the times that men are raped in entertainment with it being called that, but swiftly moved past that to introduce the reason not to care that that’s what it was we just saw.

And thus throughout several seasons of Law & Order: SVU we’ve had male survivors, usually teens, who at first seemed eminently sympathetic for what had been done to them.....but who by the end of the episodes, ended up becoming school shooters exacting revenge on their bullies. Or ended up killing the coach who raped them in high school and then went on to rape a dozen others. Or in the last scene of the episode is found kneeling over their abusive father’s corpse with blood on their hands and the detectives standing over them in sadness that now they had to take the boy they thought was the victim away to jail as the victimizer he didn’t have to end up becoming.

Except.....he only becomes that because they make the choice to write him becoming it! Every single time!

Like in 13 Reasons Why, where another male survivor ends up....another school shooter. Or in Criminal Minds, where pretty much every single killer throughout the series ended up with a backstory of abuse and rape and victimization as a child, making it ‘all the more tragic’ and with the protagonists often literally using the phrase “almost like the guy never had a chance.”

Well no, they didn’t. Not when it was written to BE that way.

And then we see the idea root and take hold in audiences. And spread and perpetuated. Validated.

Its why I hate the woobification thing in fandoms, where fans of (white) villain characters fill in their backstory for themselves with all the REASONS they are the way they are, and with the reasons never being that they’re just a sadistic entitled asshole, but because they were hurt. They were abused as a child, they were raped offscreen, the heroes said mean things about them in the burn book once and that’s why they just had to kill the hero’s whole family, see.

And everything comes full circle.....not only is it that all male victims are destined to end up victimizers....its equally true that all male victimizers must have once been male victims. Even if we didn’t see it onscreen or on the page.

Except, and why I loathe that fandom tendency.....

THAT NARRATIVE IS NOT AN INEVITABILITY AND NEVER WAS! The end point and point of origin presented there are NOT innately set in stone!

And all that does is just validate and accept as truth the LIE that patriarchal society puts forth in order to play smoke and mirrors with this one specific facet of human experiences that innately possesses the potential to destabilize the lie at the very rock bottom foundation of everything the patriarchy’s ever built at everyone else’s expense. The reason it offers up for why its not only allowable, its for the best that we look elsewhere from any male victims that actually step forward and say hey, can you all listen to me for a second, I want to tell you what happened to me.

And the fun irony of THIS aspect of things is if you think this woobification fandom thing benefits male survivors as a whole in some way or another, like the tendency of fans to find even villainous victimizers sympathetic means that they can and do sympathize just as much with actual male victims.....I’m fairly certain it doesn’t.

See, because with villains in fandom......this retroactive sympathy for imagined past traumas happens to only the characters that fandom has already decided they liked DESPITE the awful things they’ve done. Its made up to be used as an excuse instead of an explanation....

And like we all know damn well, even if we don’t always admit it or like to acknowledge it....

Explanations are not actually excuses. The harm you do can not be wiped away by the harm done to you.

So, because that’s still inside of us, our awareness of that, even if its ignored on the surface while defending hot white villains or whatever.....it doesn’t actually give anyone reason to ignore the narrative our society constructs around actual male survivors who it encourages people to condemn or ignore on the basis of purely hypothetical FUTURE abuses or wrongdoings.

And after all, you can’t actually decide you can look past the harms a person enacts and still view them as sympathetic if....you don’t actually know yet what those harms are going to end up being and thus whether you can make your peace with them, can you?

You just know that harms WILL be done, so....might as well err on the side of caution and assume they won’t be forgivable when deciding here and now to be thrifty with sympathies and spread any actionable effort taken on behalf of survivors in areas where those sympathies are more likely to be put to better use.

And yeah, all of this plays into why I focus so much on certain aspects of Dick’s narratives, and they usually AREN’T the rapes themselves.

Because for me, for many other male survivors I know......

Acknowledging those happened, examining how he felt when those happened....its not the biggest issue. Just like in our own lives, having it acknowledged or known what was done to us, having to face how it made us feel....that’s not really our primary concern.

Its what happens AFTER that.

How people view us and treat us AFTER their initial sympathies, whatever they are, dry up - which, we’re given reason to believe, they always inevitably will.

Because it isn’t all that different from what I frequently complain of happening with Dick in fandom, and hell, its WHY it bothers me so much, because its literally been a recurrent theme throughout my life:

The most widely acknowledged male survivor in comics, just also happens to coincidentally be....

The character most often spun as having a wicked temper, being almost irrationally angry at times, with his temper being likened to things like an eruption, an earthquake, a NATURAL DISASTER....something to be avoided at all costs, something the other characters fear, with good reason, but also impossible to avoid, because its too intrinsic to his nature. Its an inevitability. Dick Grayson WILL erupt or explode again at some point, and its going to be ugly. Like he’s a time bomb.

Even though....as I frequently go in depth on.....Dick’s never actually been shown as having particularly poor self-control either on just its own merits or specifically in comparison to others. He doesn’t really actually HAVE a track record of taking out his own hurts on others. On giving people REASON to be afraid of his temper even while they continue to take no responsibility for giving him reasons to be angry at all.

Its why I so often emphasize the discrepancy between the fact that whatever someone’s own personal character preferences, the FACT remains that Dick Grayson is the character in this family that most often bears the BRUNT of everyone ELSE’S anger.......just as the fact equally remains that Dick Grayson is still ultimately the character most often singled out in posts and headcanons and fanfics as unleashing his temper on others in unjustifable ways and usually without actual provocation.

None of this is a coincidence to me.

Its how we see over and over again that its okay for Dick Grayson to be angry FOR others, ON others’ behalf....its just when he’s angry FOR HIMSELF, for being taken advantage of, ignored, walked all over or mistreated....that’s when his anger is unjustified. Irrational.

Dangerous.

Or you guys know that one fanon about how Dick forces his hugs on his siblings, and his displays of physical affection are often unwanted, and thus violations?

Yeah, that one hits me right in the Issues too, because again, that’s not remotely supported by anything in canon....there has NEVER been an instance of Dick’s family asking him to cut it our or feeling like......IMPOSED upon because he likes to hug his family.

Its not to say people can’t feel that way about even well-meaning displays of physical affection that aren’t cleared with them first....

Its that this is something that people had to DECIDE to make a thing with Dick and his family. To actually craft the narrative that the many-times victim of unwanted touching was effectively violating his family’s wishes and boundaries every time he hugs them without being asked or invited to.

With that number being however many times a writer wants to write him doing when highlighting it as a violation.

And is this a thing we really see with any other character? Is my question there. How often do you see literally any other character being chewed out or resented for....hugging?

Just the one character most known for giving physical affection freely with his FAMILY and close friends.....

Who just so happens to also be the one character most often the guy who has his bodily autonomy violated.

The canon rape survivor has literally had HUGS weaponzed against him.

With the end result being.....every time he does it, every time this pings on a reader’s radar as Bad and Unwelcome....the linked takeaway is its one more reason for that reader to then ask themselves....well if he doesn’t care whether other people want him touching them, why should I care when he doesn’t want people touching him either?

Which ultimately just winds up another form of: why should I feel bad if bad things happened to someone who isn’t really that great of a person?

See what I mean?

Its all connected. Its not me getting frustrated with a bunch of different random things, its all the same thing at the end of the day, all so often traceable back to the same places.

I couldn’t untangle myself from so much of this and how it impacts me and my view of things even if I wanted to, to such an extent that in the end, want really has very little to do with it.

(And uh, you think those bug the shit out of me, let me tell you about just the very SIGHT of all those fics where Dick the widely acknowledged, perhaps best known male rape victim in comics.....is a rapist himself. Because yeah....even if people like to keep their incest light and fluffy or sweet instead of predatory, to someone who is y’know, personally familiar with all of this, Dick and ANY of his younger brothers is never going to appear as anything BUT predatory. As yet one more time where the linear journey of a male survivor all the way to the final evolution into male predator is born out and treated as so matter-of-fact, so inevitable, it hardly warrants noting as anything especially obscene or gross to write about a character famous for his survivor status. And its not like Dick is actually the only character in the franchise I like, so its not like its any better when its Jason painted as the aggressor in a fic, for instance....and while I will always be hugely critical of how Bruce is written as abusive in canon, that’s a wildly different thing from sexually preying on his sons so again, seeing him as his own sons’ rapists is yet again more upsetting than most people would think without connecting Bruce’s own status as a canon rape survivor, whether we like that story or not.....and plugging it into again, this pre-programmed route traveling from survivor to predator, over and over again. Victim to victimizer. Like clockwork.)

Anyway, my point is not to harp on this but rather to just lay it out there in this way. And how it plays into so much of my own personal approach to dealing with all of this when it comes up.......because the simple fact is I have to, there is no opt-out lol, and it comes up a lot, in large part because its so easy t reframe as being something else that most people who don’t have direct experience being directly impacted by all of this in its various myriad expressions are understandably not going to see it pinging on their radar and getting logged into their awareness the way it always does in mine.

*Shrugs* It is what it is. Its there. Avoiding it has never done me any favors, so.......as I so often demonstrate in a variety of degrees of Hmm Probably Coulda Done That Better, lol, I try and deal with things head-on and adjust as needed.

Easier said than done, not always pulled off, never any guarantee that I’m going about things the right way, just that like.....

There’s problems that need addressing that stem from all of this, and I know where mine lie and put a lot, a LOT of effort into addressing them and keeping an eye on them and not letting them get the better of me.

But the flipside of paying that close attention and that much means I’m also keenly aware of when and where I couldn’t take responsibility even if I wanted to, because the responsibility literally just isn’t mine to take....because yeah, I live in a society but guess what, so does everyone else, and its the same damn society, so at the end of the day, no matter HOW well or not I go about handling the matter of my rapes and their overall impact and shaping of my life.....that’s just me handling the rape part of things.

The rape culture? And how THAT affects and informs every survivor’s life in whatever way it does going forward?

That’s kinda.....only ever going to be improved upon or not, on like....a cultural scale. That’s a society thing. Not a survivor thing.

Because we are all shaped by our cultures, every aspect of our cultures, and this one is unfortunately no different. But, its shaped by us too.

But to actually shape it INTO something, or more accurately, to shape it into LESS of what it is, blunt some of its edges, lessen some of its ability to do harm to survivors, to compound the harm already done.....

Something like THAT requires intent. Conscious effort.

And intent requires like....first being able to SEE what problems need addressing.

And that’s kiiiiinda the whole point of survivors coming forward when so rarely, so MINUTELY does it EVER result in actionable justice for that individual survivor.

And I don’t for a second believe a single one ever believes or assumes otherwise.

Cuz its super not fun. It never like......I don’t fucking know how it looks to other people, tbh, because I’ve literally been a survivor since before I even really knew that I was being abused or molested, that there was something I was surviving....but trust me, I’ve thought about it, I’ve wondered, and I don’t know if like, people think a survivor ‘telling their story’ is somehow an equivalent of like, getting a book deal or something, there’s the attention it brings after all, and isn’t there that saying that no publicity is bad publicity.....

LOL. Yeah. Umm. Just saying, if you don’t have personal experience as a survivor having come forward or shared openly about your experiences, let me refer you to another saying as counterpoint: Don’t believe everything you hear.

Cuz that’s definitely not one anyone else ever forgets when ‘listening’ to any of us.

Anyway, wrapping this up by bringing it back to like.....my extremely evident mood and irration of this past week.....this is ALL connected, this is ALL part and parcel of every single time this comes up as an issue for me and its never less of one at one time than it is at another, its never a little easier this time because this reason or that....its always the same damn frustration every single time. Stuff like this doesn’t get doled out in manageable portions, its all or nothing. Its either a problem right this current second or its not, and if its not, that’s only until the next time its a problem again, likely sooner rather than later.

And that’s the part that makes me talk about this as much as I do, and get as frustrated as I do when people just do not seem to get.....

I don’t have an off switch on this matter because there IS no off switch for me. The times I get frustrated and vent about this stuff are actually only at MOST a TENTH of how often it rears its head for me to deal with.....the times my reactions or responses boil over into public view, into something you guys see, or ‘have to deal with’ are literally just the times where there is no keeping a lid on it because the pot was already full to start with.

And so it really. Epically. Beyoooooond doesn’t help matters, when despite being the only male survivor I’m aware of being consistently vocal on the matter in the only fandom I know of where a prominant male character is almost universally acknowledged as a survivor....

I usually only ever hear the response:

“Mmmmmm, I’m not really sure what makes you think there’s a problem here and that it has anything to do with us, when see, I don’t agree, and I don’t really see why you think your opinion on the matter of how this particular character is written about and viewed and depicted interacting with others and how fandom interacts with him, is like.....of any kind of real relevance? This is just like....your opinion, man.”

Me: ........have I ever claimed for a second it wasn’t? Didn’t I use those exact words at least once in all of this already?

fahsklhfaklhflakfhalffha

Cuz for the record, ultimately, that’s what this all boils down to. I’ve wanted to post about this stuff for awhile now, but make no mistake:

It literally is all just my opinion? Formed of my own personal experiences and the conclusions I’ve taken away from them. Laid out as fully and extensively as I can manage, specifically SO people can take all of that into context when deciding for themselves how much weight or not to GIVE my opinion......

In which case, y’know, the experiences I have with this matter and how they correlate to these opinions, like, have contextual relevance and seem necessary to include.

Its NOT because I’m trying to use them to browbeat everyone into agreeing with me because I think I’m the only one whose opinion matters here, lol.

No. Just that like....it DOES matter? And its kinda exhausting when people act like all of this is arbitrary and abstract to me, that its some kind of superiority complex or me moralizing from a pulpit or some shit when I’m literally saying none of it is abstract or arbitrary to me, and the louder I say that, the more people THEN say “oh so basically your opinion is the only one that matters here unless we disclose the same kind of experiences or background huh?”

*headdesk*

I just.....it seems my stance is either born of self-righteousness and nothing personal whatsoever....unless I make enough of a fuss about how that’s NOT true, in which case my stance is that apparently I think I’m the only one who is allowed to have an opinion here because I’ve made such a point about it being personal.

But its definitely not that people are just determined to invalidate anything I have to say on this subject one way or another, right?

Anyway.

So all of that’s like...whatever that was. Make of it what you guys will, but I do hope that at least for some people whom it might be a new perspective or new information to, you’ll consider asking why is it that in a fandom that prominently features a canon male survivor whose survivorhood is so frequently denoted as a key and critical part of his character....someone like me, who is frequently cited as a resource on many, many other kinds of meta about Dick Grayson......seems to have more people interested in discouraging me from ever expounding on my own experiences in this matter and any correlations I see between those and Dick’s experiences and narratives, than there are people interested in like......utilizing me as the freaking resource on male survivor experiences and viewpoints that I’ve literally been out here offering to be from day one....specifically BECAUSE of how rarely men are viewed as coming forward and being open about our shit here.

*Shrugs*

Just food for thought.

#rape cw

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randomestfandoms-ocs · 5 years ago

Note

questions about creating your ocs + amethyst andrews

1. What was the first element of your OC that you remember considering (name, appearance, backstory, etc.)?

I think the first thing I knew about her was her very first line in the fic (“call off your bulldog”), followed by her backstory and then her appearance and overall aesthetic, then her name!

2. Did you design them with any other characters/OCs from their universe in mind?

A little bit based around her dynamic with Archie but for the most part no!

3. How did you choose their name?

Amethyst has been my favourite name since I was like, six, and I could never find a good character for the name (dating back even to my 8-10 y/o ocs, no one deserved it lmao)

and then there was that one time in riverdale where Toni introduces herself to Veronica and Veronica makes a comment about the purple gemstone, and I had a total epiphany moment lmao! Plus it suited my love of the Serpents all having weird/fancy/rich names but only going by nicknames, hence why only like, four people can get away with calling her Amethyst in canon!

4. In developing their backstory, what elements of the world they live in played the most influential parts?

Definitely Serpent politics and my own headcanons about them!

5. Is there any significance behind their hair color?

the answer that I like to give is that it’s because people assume she’s FP’s daughter a lot so I wanted her to look like him, but the truth is that I didn’t think of that until after I’d already chosen haha, so not originally but now there is!

6. Is there any significance behind their eye color?

Not really haha!

7. Is there any significance behind their height?

Yes!! Amy is extremely short (unhealthily so) as a result of malnutrition as a child

8. What (if anything) do you relate to within their character/story?

Her loyalty to her friends, her love of leather jackets, and her severe fear of doctors! Also her hearing loss and asexuality though she’s much more sex positive than I am lmao

9. Are they based off of you, in some way?

Yes! Not much by any means but the hearing loss and asexuality (though again, we experience asexuality very differently) are both from my own experiences and more importantly my spite at being denied ace/hoh jughead

10. If they have an LI, how much of their character is tailored to be compatible to that person?

Not much! Her dynamic with Jughead changed to make them more compatible but her actual personality wasn’t, and her character wasn’t really tailored to be compatible with Sweet Pea or the poly squad so much as they all just fell into place together!

11. Did you know what the OC’s sexuality would be at the time of their creation?

I did! Like I said this totally started out as a salt fic so the fact that she was ace was a given from the get go!

12. What have you found to be most difficult about creating art for your OC (any form of art: writing, drawing, edits, etc.)?

Finding specific content that I want - there’s a scene in Skins Season 1 that I adore for her and that’s perfect for an edit that I have in mind right now but I can only find very low quality versions of it

13. How far past the canon events that take place in their world have you extended their story, if at all?

I have Amy’s life planned through season 3 of Riverdale and then pretty much her entire future until her mid 30s - but I’m completely separating from canon in s3 and s4 so I haven’t actually figured out exactly what’s going to be going on in those seasons lmao

14. If you had to narrow it down to 2 things that you MUST keep in mind while working with your OC, what would those things be?

She’s the only Serpent Malachai likes, and Sweet Pea is her be all end all soulmate! (Also she’s 100% ride or die for her family aka the poly squad, FP, the Andrews’, and Malachai)

15. What is something about your OC can make you laugh?

Honestly she’s such a petulant child sometimes and I love it! Also she struggles to get into Sweet Pea’s jeep because she’s too short and the visual of that is always hilarious to me

16. What is something about your OC can make you cry?

I... literally everything? I honestly don’t even know where to start, her life is such a mess? But I think the combination of her feeling like her only value to people is as a sex object and her deep fear of disappointing people fucks me up the most (a combination that turns into a very tragic mess in chapter 24-25ish)

17. Is there some element you regret adding to your OC or their story?

I regret adding so much angst because I hate hurting my daughter but I don’t actually regret it because I love my ideas for it

18. What is the most recent thing you’ve discovered about your OC?

Amy only ever refers to Fred as her dad when she’s making a point (in front of Sheriff Keller, Hiram Lodge, or at Riverdale High), the rest of the time she refers to him as Fred or as Archie’s dad - the first time she calls him dad just because she wants to (which she’s wanted to for years) is in chapter 20 after some major angst

19. What is your favourite fact about your OC?

Amy gives most of the new Serpents their tattoos (Toni does the others)

Creation Questions

#abbysarcane #ask #answered #amethyst andrews #about amethyst

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kaiju-z · 5 years ago

Photo

Today’s summary is of a One-Shot DM’d by the lovely @langstymclangstface. Go visit their page and give them some love, for they are a talented writer and we had a hellaciously fun time playing this one shot together!

Seon Adventures Episode 20.5: “Crumbling Wax”, a Seon Adventures Halloween One-Shot

(Aka Nelatha’s Coochie Quest. The sequel title no one asked for :eyesemoji:)

It has been. A short while since our heroes have been in the city of Crystalgate, Capitol of the country of Aetorumia.

A costume festival is being held, bright and shining lights illuminating the night time sky above the wandering citizens as they pass by booths and tables of contents, finding entertainment for themselves and their loved ones.

Each and every one has made it their goal to wear a costume as ostentatious as the next, a sort of challenge between each other to see who can be the most in the spirit of the event.

High spirits are in the air, in spite of a problem that has arisen for everyone. Or most of everyone. A sickness has hit a substantial part of the populace and thus, people are using this evening as a gateaway from the bad vibes of their relatives being down for the count.

Some call it the end of the world, but they’re honestly being overdramatic dramatic.

Amongst the walkers of this town, there are four of the five members of the party “The Cultbusters”. Sadly, Belli is at home (I headcanon that Mournimar left Morgan with her, as we didn’t get a description of Morgan’s costume. So the good direwolf is there to be her comfort animal, along with familiar, Orion.) and she is siiiiiick. And thus, she is locked off at home, as are all that have been hit by this flu.

The rest of the party are lucky.

And the rest of the party are dressed up to their heart’s content!

Amelia wears the proud costume of a sea corsair. A daring, romanticized fersion of a pirate, with Archie as her fat little shoulder griffin, a pair of wings strapped to the chunky, hunky kitty’s back, a little beak on his face. He’s living his best life and loves his catmom.

Walking beside her, Nelatha Shadowspire’s joined the group yet again. Accompanying her lady friend Genasi, she is wearing a sexed up version of a Cleric’s uniform. Particularly, that of a Honos cleric. (She is basically a fantasy sexy nurse) And she is confident as hell in that outfit. She makes it work and she knows it.

Flanking them is Mournimar, who, while initially planning some other attire, has opted for the costume of a favored character of his from a classical play. He wears the rags of the infamous drug dealer, tomb raider, bard and poet, the Graverobber. And he is blue screening real bad on account of not being used to such festivities. With Belli on the sick bed, he is but inchest away from touching shoulders with his fellow tiefling.

He, of double disguises. Who, along with the elf baby have dressed up as the characters of Fangface and Fangpuss respectively. They are goofy outfits, but Luctan is having a ball with it, enjoying the cartoonishness of it all and the hilarity that he, someone already in disguise, is wearing a third skin now. And the baby is baby. He don’t care none.

Last, but far, far from least, Malak walks with his new traveling companions, wearing a skeleton costume. A onesie, his face painted up to appear skullish.

Together the five, plus the baby and cat, walk amongst the people as streamers fly overhead. People dance and play and drink to their heart’s content. In a various level of dress.

What catches their attention is that amongst the chaos there’s a man selling candles. A sign upon his booth states the title “The Candle Man”, as their noses are attracted by multitude of scents from these particular ones.

The closer they walk, the musical tunes of The Living Tombstone’s “Spooky Scary Skeletons” hail in repetition, much to the frustration and disguist of Nel, who’s bardic pride feels poked at with the ridicilousness of that tune.

Along the way to the Candle Man’s booth, Malak’s eye stops at a nice old fashioned game of bobbing for apples. His curiosity overtaking him, the human man gives it a go and dunks his head in the water, trying to be as dexterous as he can with his chompers.

He tries his best. Swinging his head left, right, center. Up and down, trying his damnedest to nab one of the apples. But alas, he fails at the task. From the outside perspective, someone has to walk on over to him and pull him out and back, as the Death Cleric looked like he was drowning.

Trying to give it a go himself, Mournimar enters the “battlefield” of fruit and preps to dive headfirst (as you do). Malak is the ever helpful man he is and places a hand on Mournimar’s shoulder for encouragement, casting Guidance on him.

Through a combination of the ranger’s skill in handling items and the Cleric’s holy magic, the tiefling nabs an apple. But not just your regular Granny Smith’s apple! This one is of a golden color.

“Congratulations, you won the grand prise!”

He is the victor of the game and earns himself a bag of candies from the vendor, a kind lady speaking in her best Applecore accent.

“Excellent!” exclaims Mournimar and offers the bag around. But be it because of a distate in sweets or a lack of hunger, he is left to feast on the candies himself. All the more for himself!

As they continue on, they pass by a number of establishments. From new age bars, to meat houses. Bakeries and the like, all theming their foods after the holiday that has been bestowed upon the masses, with skulls and pumpkins and bats and all sorts of crawlies.

Luctan asks around about the sickness. Most people suggest it’s a cold time of year, so it’s normal. There are a couple of people out of town, panicking a bit regarding a pandemic. Performers say they’ve lost a hood half of their act, because of this. Lost their voices and shit.

Mourni’s type of Orc walking around, basically looks him up and down, shakes his head and says they tried, but shit didn’t work

A fire genasi performs a juggling act with flaming knives nearby. Luctan, being the boy, who loves his pointy things that he is, goes for a closer watch of the show. The Genasi man waves at Luctan, between throws and tosses and twirls and spins of the burning blades.

Impressed with the performance, Luctan gives a gold piece and a bunch more Fire Genasi come out, juggling. Despite that they are very excited to perform for him and stuff, they haven’t said a single thing. To Luctan, it appears that they are just very dedicated to their craft. And he appreciates that.

(He loves a man, who can handle a blade. Somewhere Ficus has himbs a sneeze, probably.)

Nel is not amused. Why? Aside from the juggling, her resting witch face is earned from seeing Amelia approach a pet store, where they have cats dressed in little costumes.

And you can pet said cats.

Set up as advertisements and stuff. You can buy treats themed for each cat.

She picks up the quiet mewing of kittens from the back of the room, where people pay to have kittens crawl and paw over them.

While Malak enjoys a variety of Pumpkin Spice Lattés (And there are so MANY Pumpkin Spice Lattés) Amelia goes to the cats. There’s a nice lady holding two fat cats. And she gets to pet some cats. Lennard and Harry. They were married and had a ceremony last week and the kittens are in the back.

Amelia is tearing up. This is the best day of her life.

Good work is being done for these cats. She is warned about a certain cat boi who jumps on people and demands cuddles. Amelia seems to be prepared for this. Heavy is the ribcage that must contain so much love for felines.

Out of nowhere areally fat Scottish fold jumps and descends on her, which causes Nel to scream a loud screm.

In response, The cat looks at Nel and bleps.

This is the happiest day in Amelia’s life.

Cats are available for adoption.

With the cat on her head and the two in her arms, as well as Archie on her shoulders, she is virtually in cat heavan. If this is a dream, don’t let her wake up.

All the while, Malak gets free gingerbread with every latté. (Nel feels like the world’ll collapse around her over all the coffee.)

Eventually, with cats in tow, the party find themselves at the Candle Man’s store.

One very bored teenager fiddling with a candle. He looks like he can’t be bothered. As they get closer to inspect them, each one looks like a person. They seem to be made expertly, made in order of famous people, but they don’t recognize any of them.

Except for one.

Luctan vaguely recognizes one of the figures as the dancer!Zitra! But something seems off about it, like it was done in a hurry. Almost like someone wasn’t used to this, as opposed to the expert.

The young one explains that the candlemaker’s sick, so the kid had to rush ‘em. Luctan buys one of the Lady Zitra and an unknown dude. Then hands the young salesperson a pamphlet and encouraging words. He believes that they can do better!

Curious, Malak wants a candle made of him. But gets the strange explanation that a personal hairstrand is required for the wick. And backs off immediatelly.

Luctan and Mournimar have no idea what this is about. To Nel there seems to be more than he’s letting on. Sinister vibe coming off of him.

She’s noticed he hasn’t’blinked once since they met him, but a few minutes prior.

He’s very cagey about what his general job is, as opposed to the summer job.

It’s mostly, you know, ehm, bar keeping and cleaning.

At the Busty Wench. The one in town.

Nel doesn’t remember a franchise opening here.

On these revelations, the shadyness of the character, if Malak hadn’t changed his mind before, he most certainly had now.

Malak casts Zone of Truth.

The moment he casts the spell, something odd happens. No. Something horrid happens. The ground begins to melt.

All around them? Everyone starts melting as blobs of flesh and clothes and then they realize they’re surrounded by wax, which starts to pull and move towards the stand, which is slowly changing form until they start in front of a vague humanoid figure twice of Mournimar’s height.

Yeah...

The sign is very litteral.

Much to Amelia’s horror, all cats, but Archie, begin to melt. Gordon and Harry and the one on her head crumble and fuse and melt off and down to the ground below. Even the cats were fake.

The wax man has a big as smile. Whatever he is. the party had never heard of it before.

As he says that, he rises into the air and drops down and suddenly everything is melting into wax, white and overpowering scent of burning candle and the floor is disappearing beneath everyone’s feet.

BOGUS!”, to say the least.

Thinking fast, Nel uses Polymorph and changes into a giant eagle and grabs Amelia and Archie to move them to safety. Once in the air, she looks out into the horizon and in a perfect circle? She sees that the city is surrounded by a desert. And slowly-an-and- and melting?!

Malak is noticing that the fire jugglers, who but moments prior were catching and throwing burning blades, were now sleeping and drowning in wax.

He tries to save them, but isn’t strong enough to do a thng about all this.

From what the lot of the ‘busters can gather, apparently the sick people are the real ones. And they are sinking.

Wasting no further time, the rest of the party start climbing.

Arriving at the top, they see that the area they started from? There’s this vast and expanding black hole, going outwards. Up top, Luctan has a vague feeling that something isnt’real here, but there’s so much magic surrounding him, he cant’pinpoint what the illusion is.

All the while Mournimar strategizes with the polymorphed Nelatha.

Malak takes a notice that the hair sticking out of the wax candles is still there and he realizes that the figurines at the stall are left completely in tact.

Luck realizes that some of the people he tried pulling out had wax figurines.

The ones he was shown were selected so he wouldn’t recognize them. It is by mere chance that they had met the Lady herself. And thus, he acts upon a gut feeling. He removes the hairstring and the figurine cracks, before beginning a climb down to the candle booth. To repeat that on a grander level. And Mournimar follows, in spite of Luctan’s protests.

Nel is tasked with carrying the others away.

(And here we have a bit of a 2-3 minute break, because Cat’s mic was off for a good while. Because her kitten, the Little Man/Little Bastard as she calls him had turned it off. It was the funniest thing ever.)

As they part ways, Amelia casts Levitate on Luctan. Yell heah!

As Luck flies, he remembers he left Belli asleep in the Shadowspire Manor, which from his perspective, begins to melt. Cursing under his breath, he takes the figurines with a box and removes the hairs on the way to Belli’s as Mournimar sprints after him.

As they move, Mourni notices Luctan’s in tiefling form. And has a tail?!

The levitation drops eventually and Luctan falls on the ground. As he turns around, he sees he’s been chased by a fellow tiefling, but it’s not someone he recognizes.

Nel turns in her normal form forcibly as they travel and they are surrounded by strangers. Making her 3 point landing, Amelia notices a bird turning into a humanoid form and sadly doesn’t recognize Nel.

Everyone’s... surrounded by strangers.

A figure about Amelia’s height rises from the wax and says “Hello there, don’t be frightened. You’ve been saved.”

Luck see this form as well, but it’s smaller and childlike and feels an eerie sense of calm.

Mournimar, unfortunately, fails on a wisdom save and “ knows everything’ll be alright”.

As he realizes this, his features starts melting off, until Mourni is gone, replaced with a lump of wax.

Seeing all this madness happening around him, Malak casts Protection of Good and Evil and protects himself.

Luck feels Danger as he sees that someone start melting, which causes him to have... the freaks out. It’s this reason why he probably only too late notices he has his tail back?!

Feeling threatened by this wax fhild, Luctan casts Sacred Flame, which burns a hole through the child’s chest. Not falling for whatever niceties the child propheces, the red tiefling burst into a dash towards Belli’s location.

Mournimar is ordered to attack Luctan. And he does so, chasing after him, unsheathing the swords from his hips and attacking. All the while this big lump of wax follows along as the floor seems to start to swallow him.

Luctan gets attacked and the seering pain feels like fire. Looking at the wound inflicted by the possessed Mournimar, he realizes he’s made of wax. Out of anxiety and rage and frustration and pain, he goes on to react with a Hellish Punishment at his attacker and melts Mournimar?!

(BEGONE, TIEF!)

Malak makes an attack, casting Litch Slap on the monstrous child. He hadn’t prepared any combat spells, but at the very least he had this.

Chunks fly and hit Amelia and Nel and reveal wax underneath.

Nel bounces. Not recognizing anyone, she has no reason to be here.

The thing goes after Malak.

Amelia bounces as well.

She takes two steps, before a hand reaches out from the ground and grabs her, squeezing and burning.

With a strength, unmatched and one powerful crushing motion, Amelia’s head pops off. And she poofs out of existence.

Malak attacks with his axe and that has no effect. As Nel runs, tendrils are grabbing at her feet. “Nope-nope-nope-nope-nope.”

One successful tendril grabs and pulls her down.

Nel feels herself being pulled down into the wax and it pours down into the ground. She suffocates and no longer is within this realm of existence.

The tendrils go after Luctan, shifting into vicious spikes, but melt behind him, due to him perpetually casting Prestidigitation, applying sparks in the viscinity aorund him.

.He carries on like this, until the sensation of emptyness under him catches his attention.

And he starts falling.

And falling.

And. While still dressed in the Fangface costume, he tries to concentrate on hsi wings. Figuring he could create them at this point, he does so. Wax versions of his wings shape from his shoulderblades. And for a short moment, he manages to fly up.

Until the wings break apart.

And he starts falling yet again.

As spikes portrude from around him and impale him, taking him out as well.

And then there’s Malak.

“ I’m the last survivor, you guys.”

The kid begins to clap with a wicked smile and congratulates him.

Then we all open our eyes. Peppery Pete stands over us as we wake up.

Basically. What it comes down to, as we catch our bearings and get up, is that Pete explains Belli hired Pete to drug us with some strange drug.

It was whack.

The party are not amused. Nel is confused.

They just stand there. Being menacing.

Malak takes a knee and rests a hand on Pete’s shoulder.

“Look, mistakes happen.”

“ But if you ever do this to us or anyone again, I will personally sever your soul from your body.”

Pete is. To say the least. Terrified from the death glare.

And Amelia basically realizes that Pete is bullshitting them and Belli had nothing to do with this. It was meant to be a team building exercise.

“Yeah, but why am I here, though?!” - Nel’s still confused.

FIN!

Previous episode / Next episode

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burberrycanary · 7 years ago

Text

Like Me Reckless: Fear, Denial & Protective Coloring

This excessively long meta is dedicated to @village-skeptic.

So, true fact, the kiss from 2.03 in the Red and Black’s office was fantastic:

But the conversation between Betty and Jughead right before this included several puzzling lines of dialogue. The real doozy was Jughead’s baffling assertion that Betty likes him being reckless. My mind has been boggling at that one ever since. But that was just one of several off moments from Jughead in that conversation.

So let’s take this one piece at a time.

A little humor about fear and violence to get started

Jughead: “You cannot be here at night unless you are armed.”

The “unless you are armed” part of this line is strange. Betty isn’t likely to be carrying any sort of weapon. (Unlike *cough* Archie.) What would make sense for Jughead to say is either, “You cannot be here at night,” full stop, or, “You cannot be here at night alone.”

Jughead has advised Betty before and helped her think through her next move, but he doesn’t really have a precedent in their relationship for telling Betty what she can and can’t do. That isn’t how their dynamic works.

So I read this as Jughead reaching for a joke or at least his familiar sarcasm as a response to being worried for Betty’s safety while not feeling comfortable just coming out and saying so. Safety has become a psychologically stressful thing for Jughead to consider too closely.

He can’t come up with a joke or anything clever on the fly though. He can’t even land the sarcasm, really. What I hear him actual manage is a flat sort of deadpan delivery.

Betty is always going to bulldoze ahead. That’s who she is. She hardly ever backs down even when she’s been warned that an action is dangerous. Jughead has every reason to be acutely aware of Betty’s tendencies to be reckless given the fallout from her recent exposé on Riverdale turning the Serpents into scapegoats.

Given that asking Betty to stop tends not to work so long as she thinks she’s in the right (and even sometimes when she knows she’s not) Jughead would have to admit a lot more than he’s willing to—either to himself or to Betty—about how dangerous his present situation is in order for his concern to be communicated effectively here.

Betty: “Well, I am.” Betty pulls off her joke in response about being armed with a coffee pot with more aplomb. Her delivery is funny and, come on, just look at this face:

Her giggle tries to shift the tone to something lighter. (Good luck with that, sweetie. Still, A for effort.)

At the same time, however, she ends up brushing off his concern for her safety and the underlying attempt to ask her to not do something. As Jughead becomes more aware of the danger around him, this will likely become an increasing point of conflict.

Jughead: “Ok, honestly, Betts. I hit pay dirt.” The “honestly” here is another strange word choice. A more logical transition from them joking around about basic physical safety would be “seriously.” Whether consciously or subconsciously, Jughead is thinking about his lack of honesty with Betty. And here this awareness is creeping into his choice of language.

The core of their recent, intense intimacy is built on being amateur investigative journalists who go around sleuthing together. On this safer ground, Jughead feels comfortable still being honest with Betty. But leading with “honestly” is not very smooth there, Jug, and to me indicates how conflicted he is about lying to and concealing things from Betty.

Betty: “But is it wise to be writing about gangs and drugs while you’re going to school here?” Um, Betty dear, if you were going to Southside High, you’d do exactly the same thing and to hell with the consequences. A message written in pig’s blood and the implied threat of the hanging Betty doll did nothing to slow her down in 1.13. The ambient danger of Southside High wouldn’t stop her chasing this story either. But Betty is perfectly okay with feeling intense concern for the safety of others combined with a reckless disregard for her own. That’s just how she rolls.

Betty and Jughead are vulnerable in different ways, of course. The threats against Betty were explicitly sexualized: “Serpent slut.” Betty is vulnerable to sexual violence in a way that Jughead culturally is much less vulnerable to and Betty has even less of a shot at defending herself physically than Jughead.

But Betty also has a lot class-based privilege that Jughead doesn’t, which keeps her safe in ways Jughead never will be.

And Jughead here is taking a bigger risk chasing this story than Betty did publishing a controversial editorial at Riverdale High.

Jughead: “Are you worried about me?” If Jughead wanted to shut down or dismiss Betty’s worry, asking if she’s worried is not a very effective approach. Jughead could come up with any number of comforting or placating things to say to Betty here.

But he doesn’t.

Forget the smoke screen of swagger in his body language and the smirk. I translate this question as, “Please reassure me that you’re worried about me. I need to hear that someone gives a damn what happens to me.” Because Jughead has to already know that Betty is worried about him. Jughead is aware that one of Betty’s default modes is intense worry. Betty has told him before that she is worried, repeatedly and in a lot of specific detail. Betty just asked him a question obviously motivated by worry. Betty’s expression is communicating an almost pleading sort of worry at him right now.

Think about where Jughead is, mentally—how scared he must be and how alone he must feel—to still need to hear yet more reassurance that someone cares about what happens to him in the face of all that.

Betty: “Well, yeah, Jug.” Betty’s voice contains so much hurt and frustration when she says this. And notice how Betty crosses her arms over her stomach because Jughead is asking her to be vulnerable while seeming not to take her feelings seriously. Consider how that smirk must land, how obnoxious and invalidating this question must feel to Betty in light of everything she has already told him.

That record scratch moment of “you like me reckless”

Jughead: “I thought you liked me reckless.” And here we have the most puzzling line in a conversation full of Jughead saying puzzling things that don’t add up. This line isn’t delivered as a joke. It’s not even delivered with effective sarcasm. The best description I can come up with for Jughead’s tone here is flirty. And as @onceuponamirror put it very succinctly and accurately: Jughead’s dialed up flirting is fundamentally driven by the boy being just fucking scared.

Because Jughead is not a reckless person. Jughead is, in fact, by far the least reckless person in his social circle. Betty? Reckless as fuck when she is on the warpath. Archie? Not even smart about how he is reckless. Veronica? At the very least, a bold and cagey sort of cavalier. Kevin? Not that Jughead would be likely to use Kevin as a benchmark, but really freakin’ night jogging for anonymous sex in the woods with the killer on the loose reckless.

And you know who else is reckless? FP. Anyone whose sad, slow descent into criminality starts with stealing supplies from his own company is reckless. Most of the reckless things Jughead has done like riding that bike or sort of joining a gang have been either voluntary or involuntary emulations of FP. In fact, “I thought you liked me reckless” sounds like exactly the sort of thing FP would be able to say with conviction right before he turned around and fucked up his life again.

Jughead knows Betty doesn’t like him reckless. She has explicitly told him that one of her biggest fears is that he’ll get hurt or hurt other people as he slides into the same life of crime and violence as his father. Betty continues to be devastated by Jughead’s seemingly reckless decision to continue down this path that can’t end well for either of them.

My theory is that this baldly false statement is a test balloon to see what Betty says in response. Jughead is afraid that he will have to become more like his father to survive. I’d call this a change in his protective coloring. The most common kind of protective coloring for animals is camouflage. But protective coloring can also be used to convey warnings, like the way venomous creatures often have bright, distinctive patterns to warn off predators by visually signaling that they are dangerous.

For Jughead, being bullied isn’t a matter of taunts and shoves anymore. And as the son of FP in a world where that means something, Jughead no longer has the option of trying to disengage and mostly being left alone.

But Jughead is also terrified that he is going to lose Betty in the process of doing what he must to maintain a minimum level of safety in this new world. Jughead is flirting with Betty here about recklessness as a convoluted and ineffectual way to try to gauge whether she’ll still like him if he changes his protective coloring from weirdo sardonic loner to something a lot more like his father’s recklessness—doubling-down on the bike, the jacket, the gang, and maybe finding a way to add in a believable threat of violence that’ll get him the respect he needs to keep himself and the people he loves safe. Or, well, safer anyway.

That’s the path forward for him from here.

But Betty is in no position to fathom what is going on with Jughead. Her life experiences don’t give her any background or context for this. And it’s not helping that Jughead is actively trying to keep Betty from understanding because he can’t bear to admit to himself what is happening and what the consequences will likely be.

Jughead is in the unenviable position of being afraid that Betty—as loyal and fierce and reckless as he knows she is—will stand by him and get hurt as a result. At the same time, he is also afraid that, like everyone else, Betty will reach the familiar breaking point where she decides he is just not worth the trouble anymore. So Jughead is stuck: desperate to avoid the looming confrontation with Betty about what this all means for him and for them while also desperate for reassurance to take the edge off the fears and doubts that are tearing him up inside.

So let’s switch to a different channel

However, as little as Betty is able to understand what’s going on with Jughead, I do think she can tell that talking about this isn’t working well. I also think that she is tired of putting her emotional vulnerabilities out there over and over when Jughead isn’t acting like he takes her concerns seriously and isn’t opening up to her in return. Crossing her arms over her stomach is such a telling, self-protective gesture.

So it’s Betty who leans in to kiss Jughead here; Betty who is nudging Jughead’s mouth wide open, holding his face and pushing him down on the nearby table. It’s a response that narrows in on what is still working between them and the one form of closeness where their connection is stronger than ever—at a time when so much else between them feels like it’s falling out of sync and slipping away piece by piece.

But switching over to making out instead? That feels a lot better than talking in circles. Because their feelings—how much they love and want each other—haven’t changed. Think how vivid and intense that rush of feeling connected again must be when they’re able to let all the white noise of external circumstances drop away in these moments.

I read Jughead smiling into the kiss as relief—although the relief gets filtered through his current coping mechanisms into a kind of smirk. And, because Jughead tends to communicate emotional responses non-verbally, to him this feels like the reassurance he was fishing for combined with the heady kick of a welcome distraction from the reality of his situation.

Of course, sex won’t fix anything between them or solve any of the external problems they face. I think Betty is more aware of this than Jughead, who’s deeper in denial, in more desperate circumstances and more acutely afraid.

But at least desire is something that feels good and neither of them has much in their lives right now that does.

Yet another terrifying social experiment

2.03 for Jughead was an experiment to see if he could keep his previous identity in this new context: a test of whether he could still be the kid who’s smart and not afraid to be a bit dickish about it as a form of protective coloring; who's an aloof loner opted out of as much of his surrounding social structure as possible and riding out the miserable slough that is high school; and who just maybe could build on his cautious new willingness to be part of something bigger than himself by creating a sister publication for the Blue and Gold and reaching out to Toni the way Betty reached out to him.

In the back of his mind, he had to know how unlikely this was to work. But I love Jughead’s stubborn, improbable optimism for trying anyway.

Of course, it failed and badly, as Jughead hit a literal dead end and took the beating he’d been warned was coming. In response, Jughead escalates from concealing things from Betty to actively lying to her, out of shame and an understandable desire to keep her as far away from the nasty, brutal parts of his life as possible. But, all the same, the distance between them stretches that much wider and the signal of their connection gets degraded with that much more white noise.

And the inevitable, irreversible changes slip a notch closer. Some couples make it through or find their way back to each other afterwards.

Others don’t.

Jughead and Betty have come back stronger and closer after hurtful conflict before. I hope that happens again here.

But either way, for better or worse, you don’t come back the same from what Betty and Jughead are lurching towards: that long bad skid out to a hard fall.

Or, as Jughead puts it, that’s what happens to kids in fairytales who get lost in the woods. If you come back at all, you come back different.

#bughead #betty x jughead #bughead meta #riverdale #jughead jones #betty cooper #character analysis #riverdale meta #@village-skeptic my partner in brooding #otp: we're all crazy #otp: on borrowed time #riverdaleedit #riverdale spoilers #riverdale season two #my meta #mine #by burberrycanary #a short novel of meta

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tricksters-captain · 8 years ago

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FP Jones/Andrew’s Family/Riverdale imagines - Oh Dear Part 4

AN: I decided to post this earlier than I originally said and I’m also Sorry for the cliff hanger last part! This chapter is a little messy but I hope you like it and things are going to start picking up from now on!

Catch up: (Part One) (Part Two) (Part Three)

Overall Summary: You’re Archie’s old sister and you have a thing for a certain serpent

Pairing: Reader x FP Jones, Sister!Reader x Archie Andrews, Daughter!Reader x Fred Andrews

Word count: 2,323

Warnings: Well, FP is clearly older than the reader in this fic, none really

**Incoming call: FP Jones**

You frowned at the unexpected call. It hadn't been long since you left the bar, why would FP call you?

You heard Jughead’s voice from down the hall, he had only just got home, and you moved towards your window on the other end of the room.

“Hello?” You answered quietly, cautious that Jughead was just down the hall.

“I need you to come to the trailer park.” FP said immediately. You knew you should have ask ‘why’ and ‘was everything okay?’ but you just said you were on your way and then hung up.

You scooped your car keys back up and quickly changed from your blouse to an oversized sweater.

“I have to go back out, um, Veronica needs my help, I’ll be back as soon as I can.” You told your dad as you made your way towards the front door.

“Wait, (Y/n)...” Fred went to stop you but you were already out the door and b-lining to your car.

You drove straight to the trailer park and rushed to FP’s trailer.

Just as you were about to reach the stairs to the trailer door, the door opened and out came Kevin’s new boyfriend with a duffle in his hand.

He had exited with his back to you as he spoke to FP, so it gave you enough time to dodge around the corner. You didn’t want to be seen just in case he told Kevin and then Kevin would tell Veronica and Veronica would tell the rest of the group so you waited until he was out of sight before knocking on FP’s door.

“Hey.” FP greeted you as he opened the door.

“Is everything okay? What’s happened?” You asked, entering and looking around for any signs of trouble.

“Yeah, Yeah, I just... Jughead and his girl came over earlier. They asked me if I had anything to do with that kid’s death.” FP told you, you suddenly felt yourself relax at the news. You thought something bad had happened like the cops had come over or FP had gotten hurt from how he sounded over the phone.

“What did you say?” You had to admit that you were curious yourself. Jason did do business with the Serpents but then you highly doubted that they’d kill a teenage boy who was meant to be delivering for them.

“What do you think I said?” FP looked almost offended that you would think that he offed some teenager.

“I didn't mean it like that.” You stepped towards FP, wrapping your arms around yourself.

“It’s just, I’m his dad... I’m his dad and he... he considered that I might have killed that kid. My own boy.” FP scoffed, running his hand over his face.

You watched him head towards the kitchen and pour himself a whiskey.

You bit down on your lower lip and let your eyes drop to the floor as you tried to think about a careful response.

“You know you... you aren't the only one. Betty thought her dad might have done it. I mean with a difficult case like this one, everyone suspects everyone did it. At least Jug came and asked you straight out instead of just assuming you did it.” You kept your voice gentle as you spoke, not looking up to where FP was stood.

FP took a mouthful of his drink and sighed, his hair flopping down in front of his eyes as he leaned over the counter top.

You instinctively moved towards FP and decided to test the waters.

You ran you hand over his back slowly, you felt his back muscles under your touch, you moved to wrap your arms around him, resting your head in-between his shoulder blades, holding onto him. You squeezed your eyes shut and squeezed him a little harder.

FP raised his head from his hands, then swiftly twisted his body around. You immediately let go as soon as he moved but then found yourself engulfed in his arms. FP wrapped his arms around you and pulled you to his chest, burying his face in your hair. It took you a second to process what was happening but then you carefully rose your hands and gripped onto the fabric of his flannel shirt on his lower back.

You pressed your face against his chest, inhaling the musky smell of the bar and his natural odour.

You stayed like that for what seemed like an eternity before FP broke it off.

He snivelled and brushed his finger under his nose, clearing his throat as he pulled away.

You watched him turn and down the rest of his whiskey then walk over to the couch, his sad brown eyes flickering over at you.

You hesitate on whether or not you should leave or you should stay.

You made your way over to the couch where FP was sat and now watching the baseball game, you sat down beside him and he opened his arm allowing you rest on him. You placed your hand on his chest as you sat under his arm and subconsciously started to run tiny circles with your index finger. It’d been such a long time since FP had any physical/intimate contact from anyone beside Jughead.

You felt FP moves his head so that his lips and nose were in your hair, close to touching your scalp, and you sat like that until the game was over.

You didn't get home ‘till late that night. Everyone in the house were in their rooms and you could hear the quiet hum of Archie’s tv which meant the boys were up playing video games.

You didn't see your dad in the morning and you knew he was going to be upset with the way you treated him the night before so you headed to the construction site. In a family like yours, usually two guys, now three guys and a girl, war of the sexes isn't exactly a good idea on your part so you did try your best to make peace the majority of the time.

You pushed open the door to the trailer on the site only to be greeted by FP and Hermione instead of your father.

Hermione looked almost pale like she was ill but put on a smile when she saw you.

“(Y/n), hey!” She moved away from the desk where her and FP were stood to be nearer you.

“Hey, um, my dad, do you know where he is?” You asked her.

“Yes, I will go get him for you.” Hermione excused herself and left the trailer.

“What’s up with her? She looked like she’d seen ghost.” You asked, furrowing your eyebrows at FP.

“I have no idea.” FP told you, digging his hands into his back pockets.

“What are you doing here anyway?” You suddenly realised that your dad didn't have a crew so why was FP here?

“Well, your dad told me that he didn't have a crew and I have guys that need the work so...” FP explained as he filled in some paperwork,

“Fair enough.” You nodded. You didn't know why you felt so awkward around him.

FP looked up from the sheets of paper and smirked at you. It looked like FP was about to say something when the door abruptly cut your moment short.

“FP, can you excuse us?” Fred asked FP as he approached you. FP nodded his head and exited the trailer so that you and your dad could talk alone.

Your dad leant against his desk with his arms folded, and pursed his lips into a thin line.

“Look, I came ‘cause I wanted to apologise for last night, the way I behaved, I just... I didn’t mean to stay out so late and I didn't mean to act the way I did.” You started to apologise but Fred raised his hand and stopped you.

“I don’t need an apology, (Y/n). What I need is for you to promise me that you’ll call me next time. You’re eighteen, I get that but whilst you’re still under my roof, you’re still my daughter.” Fred sighed before continuing, “I can't... I can't deal with both of my kids disappearing and not coming back until late. I can't deal with both my kids keeping secrets from me.”

“Dad, I’m not a kid, at least not technically. I know you like for Archie to tell you everything but we have to have some secrets, Dad. You can't know everything, you know.” You stepped towards your dad, smiling sympathetically.

Fred nodded his head, then turned and headed towards the door.

“I’m over it. I’ll see you at home.”

“You’re doing what?” You almost choked on your soda when Archie told you that he was helping Cheryl tomorrow in order to get into some music school summer program.

“It’s just a tree taping thing, it’s not like I’m marrying her.” Archie chuckled at your reaction.

“You might as well be. Archie, the Blossom’s aren't good people, no matter what they're giving you.” You scoffed at your younger brother’s stupidity.

Archie looked down at his plate.

“It’s one afternoon, I’m sure I’ll be fine. This summer program could really open doors for me, (Y/n). I’m not like you, I can't just get into any top college I want by myself.”

“You’ve got another two years before you even go to college, Arch. Why don't you live a little instead of letting the Blossoms drag you down into the pits of hell with their red painted claws.” You argued, being a little more over dramatic then you needed to be.

“Wow, you sound exactly like Jughead and Veronica combined.” Archie ignored your question and got up to clean his dish.

“Just be careful, Arch. You never enter a dragons den and leave without a few scars.”

“Honestly, you should take up acting, I think you’d be really good at it.” Archie teased you as you left the kitchen.

The next day proved you correct. Archie didn’t come back unscathed. He had been dragged into another Blossom family event at the end of the week.

“I warned you. They’ve got their claws in you now.” You chortled at your brother, Archie just rolled his eyes at you.

“It’s called being kind, (Y/n), you should try it sometime.” Archie retaliated which only made you laugh harder.

“You’re kidding, this isn't kindness, Archie. Their compensating you to be their daughters date; you’re not doing this out of kindness.”

“They’re just doing me a favour.” Archie tried to put up a defence.

“That’s what you think.” You were fed up with arguing with Archie, he was just too trusting in people sometimes and he was almost as stubborn as you which made things worse.

You left Archie be and headed downstairs, you passed the kitchen to see your dad leaning against the side with his eyes closed and a beer in hand.

“Dad? Everything okay?” You asked,

Fred’s eyes snapped opened and he moved away from the counter.

“Yeah, I’m great.” He didn't sound it.

“Dad.” You rose your eyebrows at him which made him break into a tired smile.

“It’s just I found out who the anonymous buyers for the drive-in land were today.” Fred told you, placing his bottle down beside him.

“Oh yeah? And who are they?” You asked, picking up some grapes and popping one in your mouth.

“Lodge industries.” He informed you.

Your jaw hit the floor.

“Lodge industries?! As in Hiram Lodge?!” You couldn’t believe that Veronica’s dad had bought the land from jail.

“Yeah, and that’s why Clifford Blossom is so set on getting the drive-in land. That’s not even the worst part either; I also found out that the thugs that came and trashed the equipment weren’t hired by Clifford but by Hiram. Seems like someone told Hiram about the moment between Hermione and me.” Fred explained everything that Hermione had told him earlier that day.

“So what are you gonna do?” You leant over the island and your dad leant on the opposite side.

“I don't know yet. There’s nothing much I can do, I’ve got no money, this project was meant to help but now that I know...” Fred sighed, running his hand over his head and through his hair.

You rounded the island and touched your dad’s arm.

“Well, if Hiram Lodge really is doing all this from prison then he must be rich enough to give you more pay now that you know who you’re working for?” you suggested, Fred touched your hand and looked over to you.

“He’s a criminal, (Y/n).” He reminded you that working for a criminal isn't exactly a great business idea.

“Then make sure that everything you do is completely legal. You may be working for a criminal but that doesn't mean you have to be one.” You nudged your dad’s should with your own, Fred furrowed his brow in thought and took a drink from his beer.

“I’ll think about it.” Fred gave your hand one last squeeze before he headed up to the living room.

You felt your phone vibrate in your back pocket as you headed towards your car in the school parking lot.

“Really FP? This is becoming a habit.” You answered it with a smile after checking the caller ID. You heard him chuckle on the other end of the line which made your stomach somersault.

“If I recall you’re the one who told me to call whenever I needed your help.” FP argued, playing along with you.

“Ah, so you need my help?” You asked as you opened your car door and slipped inside.

“Yeah, I do. Could you come over?” FP asked,

“Be there in ten.” You hung up and switched on the radio, turning the ignition and driving towards the south side of the town.

(Part 5)

Tags below

@jugheads-lawyer @shannon-posts @firecrackerlodge @amycarstairs @geekoftv @forsytheserpents @treblebeth @sweetvengeancee @immortalmurphy @rln108 @hamilton-nhl-trash @twilight-loveer @ri-verdale @neganskitty @audreyxhorne @squall-ore @lefoutoir @riverdalehipsters @sassyfiedscribbles @itsgirl17321

#fp jones #fp jones x reader #fp jones imagines #skeet ulrich #riverdale #riverdale imagines #jughead jones #betty cooper #archie andrews #fred andrews #Forsythe jones #forsythe jones x reader #forsythe pendleton jones #imagines #imagine #series #oh dear #part 4 #reader insert

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smartgirlsaremean · 8 years ago

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The Question Falls - Chapter 9

Fandom: OUAT

Pairing: Rumbelle (with like, a dozen little side pairings)

Rating: E

Summary: Divorce attorney Gold knows better than to fall in love with a client. Really he does.

AO3

Chapter 9 - Gold meets Belle's friends and has a bit of a revelation.

The Rabbit Hole was, by anyone’s standards, a dive. Management had a fondness for hair bands and glam rock, the pool tables were uneven and missing cloth in places, and the drink choices weren’t exactly top shelf. It was Belle’s favorite spot for drinks and girl talk, and she was positively vibrating with excitement over the fact that at last her two worlds were about to collide.

Of course, there were some nerves mixed up with that excitement, too. She wasn’t worried, exactly, but she wanted Rum and her friends to get along. Their reception of her previous boyfriends had been lukewarm at best, and she’d been disappointed, but this time - well, she wasn’t sure what she would do if they didn’t like Rum.

“Belle!” Ruby waved her over to their table, and Belle slid onto a stool next to Ariel and across from Mulan and Ruby. “God, I haven’t seen you in ages!”

“I know, I’m sorry,” Belle grimaced.

“You don’t need to be sorry. You’ve got a new guy, everyone’s allowed a bunny rabbit stage.”

“That’s very generous of you.”

“It’s the most crucial stage, when you figure out if you’re compatible,” Ariel said.

Ruby leaned forward, crossing her arms and resting them on the table. “So…”

“So?” Belle asked innocently, waving the server over.

“Are you?”

“Am I what?”

Mulan rolled her eyes and Ruby growled. “Compatible, you doofus!”

Smiling, Belle mirrored Ruby’s posture. She waited for a few seconds, allowing the suspense to get to them. Finally, she took a deep breath. “Yes.” The server approached them, and she leaned back and ordered a Long Island iced tea. When she looked at her friends, they were all staring at her. “What?”

“What? What?” Ruby looked ready to explode. “You talk about this guy for weeks. You disappear for days at a time doing God knows what with him. You...you... I mean, you might as well have big pink hearts floating out of your eyes. And that’s all you have to say!?”

“We’re compatible,” Belle said. “Very compatible. Sometimes we’re compatible two or three times in a night.”

“But he’s older, right? He doesn’t have any...issues?” Ariel said delicately.

“Not so far, but even if he did, that wouldn’t necessarily be a problem.”

Mulan grinned. “Good for him. Everyone appreciates a lover with multiple skill-sets.”

“So, it’s good,” Ruby said. “Really good.”

Belle sighed and took a sip of her drink. “I’m not giving you the details, Rubes, but...it’s the best sex of my life.”

The ladies went silent, and Belle was able to take a few more sips in peace.

“Wait. Really?” Ariel said incredulously. “Better than Will?”

“Better than anyone.” Belle sighed. “I really, really like him.”

“No, you don’t,” Mulan said seriously. She studied Belle, her gaze somber. “You don’t like him. You’re in love with him.”

Belle nearly choked on her drink. Sputtering, she stared at Mulan through watering eyes. “What?”

“You’re in love with him.”

“I think she’s right,” Ariel said, her eyes going wide. Ruby’s face was carefully blank, and Belle tried to laugh them off.

“Guys, we’ve been dating about a month. We just decided to put a label on it.”

“Silver fox at two o’clock,” Ruby said suddenly. “Is that your guy, Belle?”

Belle turned and saw that Rum had, indeed, entered and was standing uncomfortably just inside the door. Her pulse picked up when she saw that he was dressed as impeccably as ever despite the fact that she’d warned him about the less-than-refined atmosphere of the Rabbit Hole. His suit was a black pinstripe, his shirt royal blue and his tie darker with a red pattern. The gold handle of his cane glittered in the low light of the bar, and the silver in his hair gleamed.

God, he was gorgeous.

“Yeah,�� she said with a slow smile. “That’s him.”

She lifted one hand to get his attention and he smiled, raising his hand in response before walking toward them.

“Huh,” Ariel said.

“What?”

“I just...never found a limp attractive before.”

Ruby and Mulan laughed, but Belle knew exactly what Ariel meant. There was a sinuous grace in his unsteady walk that had captured her attention very early on, and it had taken her by surprise too.

When he came up to their table, Belle spun her stool around to face him. “Hey.”

“Hey.” He leaned in to give her a gentle kiss, and Belle smiled against his lips. “I’m sorry I’m late.”

“That’s okay, gave us a chance to catch up. Ladies, this Rum - Roderick Gold. Rum, this Ruby Lupin, Ariel Delmar, and Mulan Fa.”

“A pleasure,” Ruby said as the other women nodded. “So tell us, Rum.” She leaned forward again, a wolfish grin on her face. “Just how many times did Belle have to offer to sleep in your office before you got the hint?”

Belle had warned him that her friends were forward, but she wouldn’t have blamed him if he’d got up and walked out. She buried her face in her hands and groaned, but Gold smiled. “Well, dearie, I can’t say I ever did actually get the hint.”

“You must have or you wouldn’t be here now.”

“I owe that entirely to Belle’s...tenacity.”

All three ladies laughed and Belle emerged from her hiding place. “That’s very diplomatic of you, darling,” she said dryly. “You can just say that I pounced on you like a tiger on a gazelle.”

“A very beautiful, graceful tiger,” he said, taking her hand and bringing it to his lips.

“I’d tell you to get a room, but that’s probably happening later anyway,” Ariel smirked.

“Where are Archie and Eric and Aurora?” Belle asked desperately. “I thought this was a group outing.”

“Are you kidding? This is an interrogation.” Mulan waved the server over again. “The SOs would close ranks and protect him. Right now we have him at our mercy.”

“I’m still here.”

“Like we can’t end-run you,” Mulan scoffed.

“There’s no reason to protect me, sweetheart,” Gold reassured her. “I’ve faced cross-examination before.”

“But…”

“Belle, do you remember what you said to Archie the first time I brought him around?” Ruby asked sternly.

“Uh…”

“You asked him if we’d ever used the couch in his office for extracurricular activities.”

“I…”

“You asked Eric if the skills needed to play the flute were useful in other settings,” Ariel pointed out.

“Well…”

Mulan shook a finger under Belle’s nose. “You asked Aurora if she liked morning sex since her name meant ‘dawn.’”

“Wait, I was really drunk that night,” Belle protested. “That was a terrible question and I thought it’d been expunged from the record.”

“Our point is that you’ve dished it out, so now you can take it,” Ruby said triumphantly. When Belle descended into sulky silence, Ruby grinned and turned her full attention on Gold. “So. Rum. All the lawyers I know are really smooth talkers. How does that translate to the bedroom?”

“God, I’m so sorry,” Belle moaned as they stood on the curb trying to hail a cab. “The things they asked you…”

Gold wound an arm around her waist and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “It’s fine, sweetheart. They’re protective and only want the best for you. I just hope I measured up to their standards.”

He’d been more than a little terrified, walking into that bar tonight. Despite his limited experience with women, he knew that they cared deeply for the opinions of their friends, and he’d been anxious to make a good impression. Thankfully, he felt he’d accomplished that.

He liked them all. Ruby, who was brazen and outspoken but loved animals to distraction and was seriously involved with a mild-mannered psychologist. Ariel, the daydreaming sculptor with a passion for music who was seeing a flautist in the symphony orchestra. Mulan, a lieutenant in the army, older than the others and married to a woman named Aurora, and currently on leave and determined to make the most of her vacation.

They were fascinating women, all of them, and he found himself imagining similar get-togethers in the future that combined his family and friends with hers. He sensed that Mulan and Emma shared a penchant for hiding their vulnerability behind tough exteriors. Regina would delight in crossing verbal swords with Ruby, and he was sure Neal would appreciate Ariel’s musical taste and artistic ability. When the cab arrived, Belle had to poke him to jolt him out of his imaginings.

“What were you thinking just then?” she asked.

“That I liked your friends, and I hoped they liked me.”

“Oh, they did,” she said, pulling out her phone. “Look.” She showed him a group chat, which featured three thumbs-up images in a row, one from each of the women. “Congratulations. Or condolences. I’m not sure which is more appropriate.”

“Anyone would consider themselves lucky to have those ladies as friends,” he said, and she sighed.

“Yeah, well, they haven’t pulled out the big guns yet.”

“There are...bigger guns?” Gold’s mind started to race. What more could they possibly require of him? Drinking contests? Arm-wrestling?

“They didn’t ask the tough questions.”

Considering that they’d asked him about his favorite positions, his favorite fantasies, and his favorite flavor of body paint - a question he’d had no idea how to answer, never having heard of such a thing - he dreaded discovering what those questions were. For now, he saw that she looked worried, so he pulled her closer to him.

“They can ask me anything they want and I’ll answer honestly, unless you ask me not to divulge something.”

Her eyes searched his face, warming when she recognized his sincerity, and she snuggled into his shoulder. “You’re so sweet.”

Sweet. A word that he’d never have used to describe himself before he met Belle French, but here he was comforting his girlfriend in a cab after her friends had run him through the wringer. “Must be contagious,” he said.

When they reached her apartment, Belle made tea and brought it into the living room. He was used to this now, the quiet domesticity of just sitting in a room with someone, sipping tea and sometimes making the odd remark. Belle’s expression, though, told him she had something on her mind.

“I feel bad,” she said. “You answered all of their questions so calmly and now I feel like I know a lot more about you than you know about me.”

“Well, it’s not as if we’re keeping score.”

“Yeah, but…” she waved a hand. “I want to level the playing field. Go on, ask me anything.”

Gold stared at her helplessly. What had been casual and fun in the dingy bar felt intimate and tense in her immaculate living room. Here there were no others to absorb uncomfortable silences or distract them from unexpected embarrassment. Belle watched him over the edge of her mug, and when two minutes had ticked by without his saying anything, she took a deep breath.

“Okay, since you won’t ask...there’s something that’s been bothering me...something I want you to understand.”

He swallowed. “Oh?”

“Beryl - at one of our meetings she called me a - a whore. And it made me so angry and you were so gentle…”

“She had no right to…”

“It’s not like I don’t have a past,” Belle interrupted. “I do, but - I always wanted to meet the right guy, get married, settle down, all of that - and you can’t do that without dating.”

“Belle…”

“And I like sex, and I never saw any reason why I shouldn’t be with a guy I liked, so…”

“Sweetheart, stop.”

“I just don’t want you to think…”

“I don’t. I never would.”

Belle finally took another breath and smiled uncertainly. “You say that now, but…”

“I had an affair with a married woman while she was still my client,” Gold said flatly. “I’m hardly qualified to pass judgement. But even if my history were as pure as a monk’s, I would never think badly of you for yours.”

She still looked unconvinced, so he shifted closer, set her mug on the coffee table, took her hands in his, and pulled until she was encircled in his arms.

“I don’t care if you had one lover before me, or a dozen, or fifty,” he murmured, kissing her gently. “Your past is part of what makes you the person you are, and I happen to like that person very much.”

With a tiny sigh, Belle melted into his embrace, returning his kiss with a feverish intensity. After a moment she pulled back, her eyes slightly misty. “God, you’re so…”

She broke off abruptly and pulled back a little, her eyes widening and her mouth falling open. For a moment she looked frightened, and then the expression melted away and she reached up to brush his hair away from his eyes.

“What is it?” he asked.

Shaking her head, she leaned in and kissed him again. “I’ll tell you some other time. Come on, you earned serious brownie points tonight, and I think you should start redeeming them right this minute.”

She rose from the couch, one of his hands still clutched in hers, and he grinned, following her. If she were this easy to please, he might actually stand a chance in hell of keeping her around a while longer.

Later that night, as he watched her sleep, he imagined what it would be like to see her thus every night, to wake to her smiles and kisses every morning, to curl up and watch TV after dinner every evening, to receive joint invitations to events, to have his friends see him and ask “And how’s Belle?” He imagined squabbling over takeout menus and dissecting plays they’d seen, making her chicken soup when she was sick and massaging her feet when shows at the gallery ran late and she was run off her feet. He imagined that one some nights they’d both work too late to do anything but fall into bed and sleep like rocks, content in each other’s presence even without an amorous interlude.

Realization hit him and he sucked in a quiet breath, the blow almost physical. Somehow, despite carefully guarding his heart for twenty years, despite being certain he had everything and everyone he needed, despite all common sense, he’d fallen in love with her.

They’d been together a month, and already he couldn’t imagine life without her.

He rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling, waiting for the dread to hit, but instead he felt utterly calm and at peace, as if his heart had known all along and had been waiting for his brain to catch up. Whether she felt, or could ever feel, the same way was a question for another day. For now, he had someone to share his nights and brighten his days, and he would enjoy it as long as it lasted.

#rumbelle #rumbelle fic #mr gold #belle french #the question falls

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