#or else we play the white album again
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beardedmrbean · 1 month ago
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b3ach-bunn7 · 1 month ago
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DONT SMILE
Dabi is your unfairly attractive bandmate, and the two of you stay late in the studio to finish a song (and each other)
NSFW, BandAU, head on both ends if u get my drift
(Guys this is my first time writing smut plz be nice 🙏)
(Also song used in the fic + title is don’t smile by Sabrina c plz listen)
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The sound of Dabi absentmindedly plucking his bass fills the studio. He’s lounging across the couch, legs holding up the dark blue instrument as his fingers drag over the frets lazily. He’s wearing a vest, the white fabric stretched tight over his skin. The jeans he’s wearing are slung low on his hips, and you avert your eyes as he adjusts them, hips lifting from their place on the couch to drag them down.
You’re on the other end of the room, swinging back and forth on a desk chair. The room is hot. The studio was small, the same one your band, LOV, had started out in. Despite being more than popular enough to rent something bigger, there’s a weird obligation you all feel, too attached to where you started to ever leave. You and Dabi are supposed to be writing new songs,  working on stuff for the upcoming album, but you’re not bothered. You can’t think. As the lead singer, lyrics are usually your forte but you’ve got no energy for it. The others aren’t even here, and that only makes you want to work even less. That, and the fact that Dabi is an ample distraction.
He groans from the couch. You glance at him over your shoulder. He’s looking at you impatiently.
“Let’s go home. I’m sick of this shit.”
You sigh, leaning your head back on the chair. “No, we have to stay. We haven’t written anything in ages.”
“Uhm, speak for yourself. I have some things. Riffs.” He plays something small to demonstrate and you roll your eyes.
“And how is that any help without everyone else here? We need all instruments present to actually make a song.” 
Dabi huffs. He places the bass to the side, stretching. His arms reach above his head, shirt lifting up to reveal his happy trail and you sigh.
Of course Dabi is attractive. It doesn’t take a genius to figure that out. And yes, you also find his personality attractive. He was funny, that calm confidence he always spoke in, his flirty nature, it was all alluring. You’d see him dragging enough girls out the tour bus in the mornings to know you aren’t the only one who feels this way. Unfortunately though, the amount of women he’d been with, plus the fact it’s never a good idea to date a bandmate, means you keep your distance.
This doesn’t stop him from flirting with you at every available second. You’d like to say that you’re immune to it, but that unfaltering attention from Dabi isn’t something you think you could ever get used to.
“What about you? You got any lyrics down?” He asks. 
You frown. You walk over to him, nudging his legs over. You sit next to him and he leans over your shoulder to read the scribbled notes you’d been writing the past couple hours. You huff, pushing his leg further away from yours. It’s currently pressed flush against yours, and his thigh is warm. He’s always so warm.
“Can you stop manspreading?” You mumble, pushing his leg away.
“Aw, you know you love it.” He grins, leaning even closer, eyes never leaving your notes. 
You roll your eyes, but you don’t do much to fight the close proximity. His hand reaches up to stabilise the paper and his fingertips brush the back of your hand. 
“Mediocre.” 
You gape. “Mediocre? I’d like to see you write any better.” You snatch the paper from him and he shrugs.
“It's not bad. It’s just too sappy. Nobody believes that romantic shit is actually real.” He says. 
You bite your lip, thinking. Dabi’s criticism is enough to have you doubting the whole song, and you groan. “Why did you have to say that? Now I hate it.”
“Good.”
You knock his side with your elbow and he tuts. 
“You asked.”
“I didn’t.” You go to elbow him again but he grabs it before you can. You think you can feel the callouses on the tips of his fingers as his hand touches your bare skin. You shrug him off. 
“You asked to see, but I didn’t ask for any feedback.” You say.
Dabi sits up slightly. He tilts his head, strands of black hair dipping to the side. His eyes flit over you quickly.
“Well. We’re a team, no? Don’t you want my feedback?”
You lean your head against the back of the couch. “I guess.”
He reaches over to grab the paper again. “Good girl.”
You flush slightly. “Don’t call me that.”
“You love it.”
You decide it’s better for the both of you if you don’t answer that. You look at the vinyl hung up on the walls, the pictures of you guys at award shows. Anything to distract you from the man sitting next to you.
“I think you should flip it.”
You turn to him now, and he’s already looking up at you. “What?”
“You see like this line? ‘Don’t cry because it’s over baby smile because it happened?’ Swap it so it’s like, ‘Don’t smile because it happened baby, cry because it’s over’.” 
You furrow your brows. “That’s depressing as hell, though. It’s meant to be a love song.” 
“That’s love, though.” He slides the paper back into your hands. “Depressing as shit.”
You scoff. “What do you know about love?”
He grins then, so boyish and teasing. “Wouldn’t you like to know.”
“Yeah, that’s why I asked.”
He huffs a laugh. “Love is overrated. That’s what I know.”
You roll your eyes. “You sound stupid. This isn’t some Disney channel movie, love isn’t overrated.” 
“Hm. Agree to disagree.”
You quickly get up to grab a pen. You could sit further away, but you plant yourself right where you were before, and you ignore the knowing look Dabi gives you. “Okay, help me change the other lyrics then. Since this is now a hate song.”
Dabi laughs. “Not hate. Just not love either. A nice in between.”
“Hush. Okay, so this song is about. Well it’s about being okay with a breakup.”
“Is that the case for most people though? I mean, go the other way. Write a song about the pining, the feelings you can’t get over. Not being okay with a breakup.”
You always see Dabi at his most passionate when he’s talking about music. He spends most of his days lazy and indifferent, but now, his eyes shine brightly as he speaks, as animated as you see him get. You smile slightly, nodding.
“Okay. That sounds good. You have to help me though.” 
“God, if I have to.” 
The two of you sit for the next few minutes, squabbling and disagreeing half the time. You think the songs too negative and Dabi assures you it’s not.
“I mean, it’s all about the singer being in love with someone she doesn’t have. This line, ‘I want you to miss me’ or this one, about ‘thinking about me when you hold her’. It’s depressing, no?”
“But that’s what relationships are like.”
You slump back. You’re now cross legged on the couch, Dabi the same, the two of you conferring over the sheets of paper in front of you. There’s ink on your fingertips from writing and you tap the pen on your chin.
“Not necessarily. Not always.”
Dabi shrugs. “Definitely not always. But we can write about when it is. We’ve got plenty of love songs, but. We don’t have many focusing on this.”
“What’s this?”
Dabi paused for a second. It’s silent for a second too long, and you look up at him to see he’s already looking at you. There’s an expression on his face you don’t recognise. You smile slightly, confused, and it seems to jog him out of his silence.
“That longing. Wanting something, someone, so badly and not being able to have them. The pain of it.” 
He speaks softly, his voice nearly a whisper just between the two of you. You notice suddenly, the proximity between the two of you. If you just lean forward a few inches, you’d be touching. 
“You really think a relationship should be that hard? That painful?”
“No one writes good songs about the ones that come easy.”
You laugh softly. You scratch your chin. “Okay. That’s good, then. Let’s finish the rest.”
The two of you sit there, working away. You’ve never really been this alone with Dabi, not this late at night. There’s no windows in the studio, but you know from time and the fact sleep aches under your skin that it’s late. Somehow, you end up  closer. Dabi reaches over to write something and your hands brush, you stretch and your arms touch. Both of you are desperately trying to get in contact just once, just for a second. After what feel like forever you throw your pen to the floor.
“God. I’m done. I’m tired.” You suddenly say.
“Yeah, I think we’re done here.” Dabi speaks through a yawn, dropping the papers on the coffee table in front of him. 
You curl up on the couch, propping your head against Dabi’s shoulder. “You know when the next rehearsal is?” He asks.
Dabi scratches at the scruff on his chin and you think for a second. “Two days, I’m pretty sure” 
Dabi curses softly under his breath. “I don’t think I can make it.”
“Uh, why not?”
“I’m busy.”
“Doing what?”
“Doing who, more like.”
You sit up. “Who?”
Dabi grins. He brings his arms up to rest on the back of the couch. “You jealous, baby?”
“I’m not jealous of your little groupies.” You scoff. 
Dabi barks out a laugh. “Groupies? The fuck are you talking about?”
It’s your turn to laugh. “Oh, come on! Last tour you brought one back like, every night.”
“They wanted autographs!”
“Fuck off!” You laugh. “Those were very vocal autographs. You do realise the tour bus walls are very thin?” There’d been nights when you’d felt like you were in the room with them. 
“Aw, if you wanted to get involved all you had to do was ask.” Dabi pouts, his voice teasing.
“Shut up, you pervert. You wish.”
“I do wish.” 
“Degenerate.”
He reaches a hand up to brush a strand of your hair behind your ear. You freeze slightly and when he moves his hand away you turn, knowing the bright lights won’t hide the red on your face.
“Didn’t mean to be so loud. They can’t help it, you know. Not when I’m there.”
You scoff. “Right. Is that where you learnt all about love?”
“You could say. I know they loved it.”
It was no secret that Dabi slept around. You’d all been victim to the girls he took to bed, screaming his name late into the night when you’d all be trying to sleep after a show. Yeah, you’d had sex before, but it had never been like that. Didn’t have you yelling the way they did. It did make you wonder, some nights.
But you’re not going to let him know that. Your face twists in disgust. “Gross. I don’t need to know that.”
“Really?”
“Yes really.”
Dabi sighs. He sits up slightly. “Shame. I’d show you such a good time if you’d let me.”
And that has you thinking.
Because there he goes again, flirting and saying such suggestive things. You never play along because you always argue that he’s just joking. He doesn’t mean it. And you could shut it down right now. Really. One shove of his shoulder, one excuse that you’re tired and he’s being gross would have him backing off.
But Dabi is looking at you under impossibly long lashes, impossibly blue eyes trailing over your body, before they land back on your face.  He’s looking at you like he’s not joking anymore, and the part of you that wants to scream like those girls did has you meeting his gaze with competition. 
“Really?”
If he looks shocked at your reply, he doesn’t show it. He just inches closer. “Of course. You know I’d treat you right. If you’d let me.” 
You're a breath away from each other. You’re not sure how, but you’re both sitting up again, face to face. You can smell the cigarette smoke that always seems to linger around him, the too strong cologne that never manages to hide it. This close you can see freckles on his face, so light you don’t think you ever would’ve noticed them otherwise. You want to reach out and touch them but you’re frozen. Waiting.
The both of you are silent. You let it linger, wait for him to make the next move. 
“You’re gorgeous. Do you know that? I’m always watching you on stage. When you’re singing. Can’t get enough of you.”
He reaches a hand up. A hand rests on your shoulder, right against your pulse. His fingers curl up against your face, trailing down your cheek.
“And those groupies you were talking about? Fuck, I wish it was you. Wish it was you I was making scream on my tongue, do you know that?” 
You don’t say anything. You don’t think you could if you tried. Dabi smiles.
“You know you do this thing. When we’re working. You always bite on the end of the pen.” 
His fingers trail over your lips. His thumb rubs at your chin. 
“Drives me fucking crazy.”
Your breath hitches as his hand curls around your neck with more purpose.
“I’m gonna kiss you now. That okay?”
You nod.
“I need to hear you say it, baby.”
“Yes, yes it’s okay-“
Your words are breathless and desperate but no more desperate than Dabi is when he pulls you forward, crashes his lips against yours. He makes a sound, almost whining as he curls a hand in your hair. And it’s like everything you always thought it would be, as fast and as hot as you’d imagined. The hand on your neck reaches down, dipping under your shirt and pulling it over your head. You’re only in your bra, and you feel shy suddenly. Because you’re not the prettiest girl he’s ever met, you know that. Your arms curl around your body and he pulls away for just one second to shake his head, breathing heavily. His hands pull your arms away, grabbing both your wrists in one.
“Don’t do that, baby. I wanna see you.” He murmurs.
He kisses down your neck. His lips suck marks into your skin, and you should tell him to stop because people will see it all tomorrow but you want him to mark you up. You want him to see them tomorrow, see them at rehearsals and remember it was him who put them there.
He licks at your pulse and he pulls back. He reaches behind and with one hand, unclips your bra. The ease in which he does it should alarm you slightly, but then he continues down, and his hands on your breasts is enough to render any thoughts in your head useless. He grabs them both and he groans.
“These tits. So soft, so beautiful.” He whispers the words into your skin like they’re not even meant for you.
He pinches your left nipple before sucking it into your mouth. You whine, hands reaching up into his hair, tugging at his shirt. Because you suddenly feel horribly underdressed compared to him, shirtless as he moves to give attention to your other nipple. He tugs his shirt up quickly, and you let your hands travel up his torso. You feel the lean muscle under his arms, trace the scars across his body. He lets go suddenly. 
“Come on, baby. Take these off.” He tugs at your jeans and you quickly slips them off. His hands slips your underwear away as well, throwing them to the side. 
Dabi moves quickly into the floor until he’s kneeling in front of you, arms resting on your legs as he spreads your thighs apart.
“Dabi? What- What are you doing?”
“You call me Touya when I make you come on my tongue, you hear me?”
You curse, breath hitching as he kisses the soft skin of your thighs, fingers rubbing up and down the side of your hip. “It’s okay. You don’t- You don’t have to.”
Dabi, or Touya now, looks confused. He tilts his head slightly, lips red and kissed out, hair mussed from where you had been grabbing it. “Have to? I’ve been dreaming about this pussy for so long, baby, you don’t even know.” 
He looks at you with so much want in his eyes. He bites softly into your thigh and you squeal, and he grins. 
“If it was up to me, I’d sit you on my face and eat you out until you can’t speak, but. We’re on a time crunch here.” 
He presses a chaste kiss to your clit and you shudder. Two fingers reach and part your folds and Dabi makes a low sound in the back of his throat.
“So wet. Is this all for me?”
“Touya, stop teasing.” You huff, squirming in your place.
Touya drags his fingers down, face so close you can feel his breaths. “Ask me nicely.”
“Please, Touya.” You grit out, sitting up in your elbows to glare down at him.
“Please what?”
“Please-“ Your cheeks flush red because he’s not even looking at you. His eyes are focused between your legs like he’s seen heaven between them.
“Please, make me cum, you prick.” You say with a shiver.
And it’s that tiny shiver that seems to set him off because he’s suddenly kissing and sucking at your lips, tongue digging inside your pussy and tracing circles around your clit. Your hips rock forward as you moan, and he holds you down easily so he can continue.
You have been eaten out a few times before. It never felt like something to enjoy, the boyfriend or hookup always doing it to get something over with, to tick a box. But what makes your toes curl, what makes you inch that much closer to cumming, is the fact that Dabi is eating you like a man starved. He’s groaning, eyes fluttering shut as he takes slow, purposeful mouthfuls of your pussy like he’s doing it for him and not you. 
“Taste so good. You been hiding this from me?”
“Touya- fuck.” You grab his hair and tug, and he moans.
“Yeah, good girl. Do that again.” 
You comply, his name a ramble on your lips as your hips buck again. Your core aches and you voice reaches an embarrassingly high pitch as he kisses your clit again. It takes an embarrassingly short time for you to reach the edge. “Da-Touya, I’m, I’m close,” you breathe, hands clutching at the couch beneath you.
Touya detaches himself from you, eyes glancing up at you. “Yeah? You’re close?”
You nod, whine caught in your throat. Your hips jolt forward as he begins trailing slow circles over your clit with his finger. You whine at the slow contact.
“You wanna cum?”
“Yes. Yes, Touya, please.” You breathe.
“You wanna cum on my tongue, baby?” He whispers and you keen, hand reaching down to tug at his hair again, trying to drag him closer.
“Fucking- Touya, I’ll do it myself if I have to.” 
He laughs at that, quickly returning his attention back between your legs. It’s embarrassingly loud as he sucks at your clit, two fingers reaching inside you to press against that spot that has you moaning his name once more. 
“Good girl, so fucking pretty cumming all over my face.” He groans.
And then you cum, and Touya easily holds your hips down as they shake, his own grinding into the floor beneath him, and he takes you through an orgasm that racks through your body. You think you might pass out from the pleasure that crashes over you so suddenly. His hands grab at your chest, your neck, and when he kisses you again you can taste yourself on his tongue.
He smiles at you again, this time more elated, a wild look in his eyes. 
“You’re gorgeous, you know that?” It takes you a minute before you can reply. You do so but gesturing him up in his feet.
“Here. Come, get up.” You speak suddenly, still breathing heavily.  
Touya looks confused for a second. You drag him up onto the couch, and your eyes trail down, to the obvious bluge in his trousers. And he looks big judging by it, and you think you’re already ready to get off again.
“Your turn. Come on, take these off.” You tap your fingers on his jeans and take his place on the floor.
“God, you know just what to say to a man.”
“Shut up.” 
He uses one hand to unbuckle his belt and he’s just showing off now, you know, but it’s hot and he knows it is. He pulls his jeans down his legs and you let them pool at his feet. And when you pull his cock out it’s long and thick, you find the source of all his arrogance. He catches you looking and he huffs a laugh. His breath hitches as you slide your fingers up the side, tongue reaching out to lick at the tip, hard and leaking precum.
“You know, you always, fuck, you always deny it, sweetheart, but look at you.” He groans as you lick a stripe up his cock. “On your knees for me.” 
“I always imagined taking you right here, in the studio, bending you over this couch and fucking you until you’re screaming nothing but my name, squirming and begging on my dick.” Your thighs clench and he sees it, a nasty smirk on his face as you take him into your mouth.
“You want that too, angel? Want me to make you scream so loudly everyone comes in and, shit, sees you cumming on my cock? You want that?” 
You don’t say anything, can’t, because he fills your mouth so full that you couldn’t speak if you wanted to. His hand reaches into you hair, guiding your head up and down his dick, low moans and grunts leaving his mouth. He’s so vocal, you realise, an endlesss stream of barely coherent praise leaving his mouth as you use yours.
“Fuck, yeah sweetheart, fuck.” His hips buck into your mouth and you nearly choke.
“Come on, I know you can take it. Good girl, good fucking girl.” He groans, pulling your head down further.
Your eyes flutter shut and Touya reaches down with his free hand to brush the tears that fall down your cheeks. You grab into his thighs, nails digging into his skin.
“Taking me so well, baby. Always so fucking mouthy. So pretty when you use it right.” He breathed heavily, jerking into your mouth again.
He starts fucking into your mouth, and you swipe your tongue underneath his dick, the vein that runs down it and he stutters, breathy curses leaving his lips.
“Gonna cum, fuck.” 
Your name slips past his lips in tandem as he bucks into your mouth one last time. Your mouth fills and you swallow, and he pats your cheek as you look back up at him, gasping for breath you pull back. His chest heaves and his eyes are shining brightly again but for a very different reason. You trace the scratches you left on his thighs and he in turns rubs a finger on the hickeys that leave a telling trail down your body.
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i get so cringed out when i write smut but i wanted to do it so i powered through!!! plz give me any tips if u think its bad i greatly appreciate it. i also had noooo idea how to end this oneshot so i lowkey just stopped writing LMAO
anyway.... bass player dabi u live on in my heart kisses forever
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abigailxli · 3 months ago
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bed chem-carlos alcaraz
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author: reupload for @yungbludz and everyone else who wanted it back-yea it sucks but i literally had to write about him with this song
summary: your guy bestfriend relates to lyrics a little bit too well..
warnings: none?? (idrk abt warnings so let me know)
“who’s the cute boy with the white jacket and the thick accent?”
carlos looks at me surprised as he hears my speaker. i’ve been a huge fan of sabrina carpenter for the longest time, and carlos isn’t surprised by me staying up until 1 listening to her new album. we both are best friends since we were younger and not because we don’t have the money, but he recommended to share a hotel room in no other than the city of New York.
“sounds like she’s singing about me”
i laugh, eyes not leaving my phone as i look as the lyrics.
“how many songs do you have left”
carlos sighs, not getting his sleep for his round 1 match tomorrow for the us open by me blasting sabrina’s music from my speaker. i finally look up at him, eyes meeting his dark brown eyes.
“it’s gonna be a long night, carlitos.”
carlos sighs again, he’s tucked in bed wearing a white tank top that shows his muscular arms, shining like he oils them everyday. my gaze lingers on his shoulders for a bit longer than needed. my cheeks flush as i turn back to my phone scrolling through the lyrics.
“you do know if you keep this up the entire night i’m probably gonna lose.”
his eyes stay on his phone, looking through social and the predictions for his upcoming match. i sit up on my bed, looking at him as the album continues to play.
“your fine, don’t be so dramatic,” i say rolling my eyes as carlos lets out a chuckle at my words.
“oh, so i’m the one being dramatic?” his eyes leave his phone as he looks at me from his bed. we lock gaze for a few seconds until i look down, embarrassed by how cute he is. is he usually this cute? i’ve never had a crush on him for all these years, and he sees my cheeks turn bright red.
he smirks to himself enjoying you being embarrassed.
“Y/N you didn’t respond no?” he still has a smirk on his face as i look back at him as my face has finally turned into a tomato.
“cállate,” i mutter
the album comes to the end, and i finally turn off my phone and the speaker.
“finally”
i look at the time and notice how it’s already 2am. i look back at carlos, him yawning and putting his phone on the table beside the bed. he gets up from his bed, his muscular legs being complimented by the black short shorts as he leaves to go into the bathroom. i get my suitcase with my skincare and start using it with my little mirror that i brought from home.
carlos comes back from the bathroom without his tank top he was just wearing and i notice from my mirror. he leans against the wall, watching me put on my skincare for the night.
“how much shit do you put on your face?”
i scoff, turning around and immediately staring straight his bare chest. i stutter, the words not coming out of my mouth as my eyes cannot leave his chest. he notices me once again and walks toward the small wooden desk with all of my skincare all over it.
“listen y/n, i know how you look at me and we both know what you want.”
i look up at him, quickly looking down at the desk but he gently grabs my chin to force me to look at him.
“Los dos sabemos lo que quieres.” he says again and i swallow hard. why is he making this so difficult?
“just like sabrina said, “but i’d bet we’d have really good bed chem.”
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sweetbillwriting · 3 months ago
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In The Dead of Night
NINE
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Characters: AU Eric played by Bill Skarsgård from The Crow (2024)
Setting: This story is set in A WHOLE OTHER WORLD than the movie. Shelley isn't a part of this story. Eric will be different from the movie, especially because I haven't seen the movie.
Warnings: 18+, NSFW, heavy themes.
Notes: I have STILL not seen the movie because it hasn't premiered here yet!
“I just think about him a lot. I'm sorry, I don't have the right to do that; I haven't even met him; I just believe I would have really liked him…”
I sat opposite Lotti by her little table with Eric's photo albums in front of us. Sneakily, I had put back the photos I've stolen because I didn't need them anymore.
I shouldn't have been there; I was lying to her in the most awful way, but I also went behind Eric's back to find out things he didn't want to tell me. I had the answers right there, and my curiosity took over.
“You know, I think he would have liked you too. You have a curiosity he would have liked. You feel comfortable with yourself, but with optimism and creativity. He would have liked that,” Lotti said with a smile. She had a good day today and talked about Eric with a smile. I smiled back at her by her words, but the warmth in my chest was from the memory of hearing Eric say “I love you” to me. He had said it that morning on the phone. I would go to him later that night; he worked late that Saturday, so I didn't have a reason to go to him that early, but I had a key to his apartment, so I didn't need to wait for him.
“Can't you tell me more about him? Why do you think he started to take drugs?”
Lotti looked out through the window and smiled sadly. It felt like she had a need to talk about everything, and I was right; my simple question made her tell me stories I never thought I would hear.
×××
Lotti looked at the little boy in the playroom, through the plexiglas. He wore a striped long-sleeved shirt in green shades and red sweatpants. The clothes were a bit big and looked well-used, probably from other kids social services had rescued from dysfunctional homes. He was two years old but lacked the chubby cheeks other two-year-olds would have but also was disinterested in the toys surrounding him. A white rabbit stuffy lay just in front of him, but he didn't give it a look; he just looked around. A young social worker sat by his side and looked at him with wonder. He looked like a doll with his big green eyes, and he sat just as still with his small hands resting on his thighs.
“He can't stand up yet or crawl, so that's probably why he doesn't play,” said the social worker next to Lotti and her husband Eric. They nodded a little even if something else felt wrong.
“Why can't he do that? Does he have a disability?” Eric asked the social worker and looked at baby Eric again. He hadn't moved an inch.
“No, no. He's healthy. Just a little underweight and some rashes. Ehm… We believe he hasn't left the crib very often. Most of his time had probably been spent alone in the bed-”
“What? Has his mother left him in the crib?” Lotti looked between the social worker and the boy, upset.
"Yes, but that is nothing that will shape him. He's so young, so that's nothing you’ll need to worry about.”
The social worker said it with assurance, even if there wasn't any research on the subject in the 90s.
Lotti nodded but felt a lump in her throat.
"His mother is sentenced to six months in prison for drug trafficking, but we believe she needs help with the boy after that too. She must make changes to be able to get him back.”
Lotti was sure. She didn't need to know any more. She wouldn't leave that boy to his destiny. They had room for one more child in their home, and Eric, her husband, earned enough money as a seller in the technology field. It was a business growing every day, and his salary went up with it. He looked at Lotti with a calming smile. He knew his wife had already made a decision, and he felt the same. They could give the boy the security he never had. He looked at the papers, seeing the boy’s name, the surname they shared. It felt like a sign. He wasn't the religious type, but Eric was a family name, a name passed on with love and respect.
The social secretary opened the door to the room baby Eric was in, and the married couple saw him look towards it with a fast movement. They walked in slowly to him, afraid that their presence would scare him, but he sat the same way and looked at them with big eyes. Carefully, Eric lifted up the boy in his arms, and Lotti moved close to them. His eyes shifted from side to side, looking at them. He looked sad but with a calm curiosity.
“Hey Eric, hey sweetie…” said Lotti. He looked at her the same way, but his eyes gave away so many emotions. Lotti dragged a finger over her cheek, wiping away a tear. For her, it was impossible to think that the boy's mom didn't want to take care of him; he had an aura—a much stronger aura than other kids his age had. It was just something with him. Lotti looked at her husband, who had pulled the boy closer to his chest. Both could feel it in their bones, and they could see in the other's eyes they felt the same thing. This boy was theirs. This boy was theirs, and they would do everything in their power for him to only be theirs and save him from his mother and all the darkness.
×××
Little Eric stood on a chair by the sink next to Lotti. He was quite short for his four years but had a personality bigger than other boys his age, and so lovable Lotti could see how others envied her. He stood and washed the dishes with her and laughed while playing with the bubbles. He always wanted to be close to them, always wanting to help.
“You're so good at this, Eric!” Said Lotti with a laugh when he gave her a completely clean glass. Eric laughed again so she could see the deep dimple in his cheek. She kissed it hard and dragged her fingers through his messy hair. In just a few hours, he would go to his biological mother and then come back to them as a shell again. He never told them what happened at his mother's, and that was what made it harder for them to do something. There was no proof the bruises on his little body were from something else than rough playing, but Lotti knew her boy so well, his games well, and it wasn't bruises from the playground.
Lotti woke up from her thoughts when she heard her other son in the living room. He was playing video games and made sound effects for the game. Eric looked towards the living room, and when Lotti did it too, he waved with his little hand, showing that he wanted them to look at what Robin was doing. He always wanted skin-to-skin contact, so Lotti pulled him up on her hip and carried him out to the living room. Robin gave them a bit of an irritated look but wiped it away when his mom dragged her fingers through his hair.
“Are you winning?”
“Yes!” He screamed proudly, and Lotti giggled at him. She looked at Eric, who didn't seem to find the game amusing, and instead looked out from the living room's big window.
“It's sunny…” he said with a small voice. Lotti often got the feeling he didn't dare to use his full voice, and he almost whispered when he talked.
“Do you want to go out? Should we go out and draw a little?”
Eric nodded and dragged his hand over her neck. He was soon five years old but felt both younger and older at the same time.
They moved out to the back of the house, in the early spring sun. She could see Robin through the window and, at the same time, make the last few hours of Eric's time there the best she could. He sat in her lap, drawing whales and colorful birds. He was great at it and could disappear into it completely, but not today. She knew he knew what would happen soon. How they would put him in the car and drive him to the social service office, where his biological mom would get him. She knew he would cry in panic and how the social worker would need to pull him away from her neck. She knew Linda would look smug when she left with their son, not because he wanted her more, just that she was his mom, whatever they said. She didn't need Eric's love; she just wanted to win.
Lotti knew she would cry the rest of the day and think about what Eric did at his mom's place. She wondered in what state he would come home in. Eric hugged her hand hard in his and looked up at her with his big soulful eyes. They were shining with tears.
“I love you, mommy…”
It was a plea, a cry for help, but she couldn't do anything. She took a deep breath so she wouldn't start crying and hugged his little body against hers.
“I love you too, Eric. My baby, my son... I love you most in the entire world.”
×××
It was the third meeting they have had with Eric's school that year. Becoming a teenager was not easy for him, and it revealed sides in him they hadn't noticed before.
He had been such a calm child, and after he stopped seeing his mother, he also started to feel safe and comfortable in his own skin, but instead of those sides growing in him, other things took over.
While some teenagers became a bit moody, he got depressed and had a hard time getting up from bed in the mornings. When he finally was in school, he couldn't concentrate and did things you should absolutely not do in a classroom. Playing with a lighter and burning things up was his favorite, painting on the walls another. Even if all his teachers saw that he was a nice boy with serious problems, they kicked him out of the classroom, and Eric found himself chain smoking and listening to music that matched his mood. He was lonely. Extremely lonely, so when the wrong sort of people stretched a hand out to him, he was quick with taking it.
“We haven't seen Eric for a week now. If it continues like this, we're forced to call social service,” said the principal and leaned against his desk. Lotti looked at her husband and sighed deeply. It was always heartbreaking to hear about how Eric slowly destroyed his life. She knew it wasn't his fault. His biological mother had probably taken substances while pregnant; he had trauma since his childhood with her, and on top of that, he had such severe panic attacks that he had cried for death.
“Eric is a lovely young man and is really appreciated as a person-”
“So why don't you help him more? The only thing you do is throw him out of the classroom! Why should he go to school when no one wants him here?” Lotti said, upset. The principal gave her husband a look, like he thought he should calm his wife down, but Eric felt the same thing and looked at the principal with an angry look.
“We must think about the other students... You haven't thought about maybe taking Eric to a doctor? To get some help with his... problems?”
Lotti looked down at her hands and sighed deeply. She knew they probably needed to do that, but pulling him away to a doctor felt awful. He didn't need that on top of everything else.
×××
Robin always came home from school alone, even if they had told him to drive his brother home. They had given him a new metallic red Mercedes, and it’d been clear that he would give Eric a ride home. Robin always said Eric wanted to go home by himself, and their parents didn't know what to think. Eric liked being alone, but it was a long way home. Lotti looked at Robin disappear to his bedroom with two girls laughing while she sat down by the window. She worried the whole day for Eric and how the medications would affect him. He was such a sweet boy, and she didn't want to destroy that with all the pills he had been prescribed.
She smiled a little when she saw him come walking. He looked like a black raincloud in his black zip hoodie, black jeans, black hair, and black eyeliner around his eyes. He carried his khaki backpack on one shoulder, full of pins from different bands and motifs made to provoke. Still, the kids on the street jump around him. Eric smiled a little while they tried to impress him with their skateboards and MP3 players. Lotti got warm in her chest. It was just something really special with him, and everyone liked him.
“Hey mom!” He shouted when he came in through the door.
"Hey, honey,” answered Lotti and walked out to the hallway to meet him. He had pulled off his hoodie and surprised her with a yellow t-shirt, a sex pistol t-shirt, and he had put his converse neatly on the shoe rack.
He gave her a hug, like he always did when he came home and Lotti took his hand. They needed to talk but were interrupted by Robin's laugh. He came down with his two girlfriends, and Lotti let go of Eric's hand to not embarrass him in front of the older girls. They giggled when they saw him, and he got red in the cheeks and ears.
“Hey Eric,” said one of the girls, and the both of them giggled. Robin rolled his eyes.
“Don't forget to come home for dinner,” said Lotti to her oldest son while her younger son stood looking down on the floor.
“Yeah, yeah!” He answered and opened the door for the girls. Just before he closed it, both Lotti and Eric heard one of the girls say, excited:
“Your brother is so fucking cute!”
Lotti looked at her youngest son, who smiled embarrassed but tried to hide it from his mother. She smiled at him, amused. It was true; he was cute, and she knew he would be more than that one day. She wished she didn't need to have the talk she needed to have with him—let him bask in the girl’s words—but instead she needed to take him to the kitchen, where his medications stood in a row.
“So this is for your ADD, this is the antidepressants, these you can take if you have anxiety, these are for the OCD…” Lotti looked at a note while pointing at the medications in front of them. Eric looked at the medications and dragged his hand over a bruise on his neck he had told his parents was from his karate training. He saw something else than his mom did while looking at the pills.
“You can have them here in the kitchen, in a cabinet-”
Eric gave her a disliking look.
“Robin's friends are always here digging around; can't I just have it in my room?” He said and continued to drag his hand over the bruise. Lotti looked at her son. He was a trustworthy young man, and she trusted him with her life.
“Okay, but you must take them every day.”
Eric nodded, taking the medications in his hands, and walked up the stairs. He would take them every day, but also take more and more for every day.
×××
“That doctor… I can't understand why he felt it was a good idea to give a fourteen-year-old so many medications… But also…” Lotti sighed and looked down at the pictures of Eric. “I can't understand how I thought it was a good idea for him to take care of it all himself. I forgot he wasn't my own flesh and blood so many times…”
I sat in silence for a while, until Lotti sighed.
“But what happened then? I guess you noticed he had taken them all?”
Lotti nodded.
“Yes, and we didn't get him any more medications. He tried to tell us he wouldn't do it again, but we weren't that stupid this time. Then I kinda... Forgot about it all?” Lotti looked shameful. “You must understand, Eric was such a lovely young man with me and others around; I kind of forgot he actually didn't feel well, or maybe I didn't want to believe so? He was just sweet all the time, so we didn't notice he fixed his own drugs instead.”
“Like what?”
“First I think it was weed, then he started with ecstasy and amphetamine... I don't really know when he started to take opiates.”
It was all so sad. They had wanted to give him everything, but his background caught up with him. He had inherited the addiction gene and was also traumatized by abuse. He didn't have a chance. His anxiety had taken over his life, and he still was fighting so hard.
I looked at Lotti while she dried her tears with her floral napkin. I wanted to tell her that the person she loves the most was alive and quite happy, but I didn't dare. I didn't know how that would affect her, and I didn't want to create fights with either Robin or Eric. It was both their choice, and I wanted to give them both respect.
“Did he take drugs all the time after that?”
Lotti looked up at me again and made a loud exhalation. It probably took all her power to talk about Eric, but she continued anyway.
“No, he had a girlfriend that got him to stop, Felice, but when the relationship started to go south, he also felt a need for drugs. And then… With Simone, everything got so much worse.” I looked at Lotti with big eyes. I could feel a stir of anger in my stomach when I thought about Simone, but also jealousy, it was hard thinking about Eric with another woman.
“She broke his heart. Eric was a sensitive boy—so sensitive, and she didn't take his mental health problems seriously. She didn't understand where his addiction came from, so she broke up with him. The next I hear...” Lotti took a break and swallowed hard. “The next…” She swallowed hard again, but the tears had gathered in her eyes and would spill over even if she did everything in her power not to cry. I took her hand in mine, and she let herself cry silently.
“He had overdosed. Heroine. My boy… My little boy…” she cried. My heart beated hard in my chest, and my throat burned like I had swallowed a match. It was awful that she believed he was dead.
“When was this?” I asked carefully.
“Soon three years ago.”
I nodded slowly. It must have been around the same time she had been through her accident, so it was easy to fool her, but that was also what made it even worse. She had also lost her husband around the same time. Why did they do this to Lotti?
×××
The full moon looked at us while we made out. Big and round, it stared at us just like in my dreams, but this time we weren't alone. We sat outside on a cold autumn night after having danced at The Pulse. Four of his friends sat and looked at us while we made out on a teeter-totter on the playground. We had run around there like two kids while his friends passed around a joint.
I had his bomber jacket on top of my own coat while he just wore an oversized t-shirt with a big picture of Courtney Love in a thin neglige. Even if he had so few clothes on, I put my cold hands on his stomach to touch his skin and muscles.
“He's just skinny!” Shouted Jackie towards us, and both me and Eric looked at him amused. Eric dragged me closer to him so he could stuff his nose in my hair and breathe in, and I dragged my hands to his naked back.
“Should we go home?” He whispered, and I nodded. I wanted him to myself now.
“Do you know she stalked you?” Shouted Jackie just as loudly as he had done before. Eric looked at him with a smirk, like it was a bad joke. I, on the other hand, gave Jackie a worried look and swallowed hard.
“Yeah, she had seen you around and begged me for your address. It wasn't a coincidence you met her outside the store.”
Eric looked at me with a confused smirk. He didn't seem to believe Jackie, and neither would I, if it hadn’t been about me.
“Yeah, yeah, whatever. We're going home now,” said Eric, who helped me off the teeter before he stood up himself. While doing that, his sleeve rode up, and I could see the aggressively purple bruise on his upper arm. I saw that Nick looked at it too, but I looked away when he looked at me.
“It's nice seeing you together. Seeing you with a girl. It suits you,” said Nick in a brotherly way, but there was a hint of worry there too. Eric lit up and pulled me close to him. He looked at me with big eyes.
“Yeah. It feels like a dream sometimes.” He didn't let me go with his eyes while his friends started to ‘oh and ah’ and whistle as a joke. Eric smirked at them but then lifted me up easily so I had my legs around his waist.
“Let's go home.”
×××
It was all so good between us, except when his anxiety crept on him in the night, like something heavy lay on his chest, and he couldn't get it away. I could see him touch his neck, like that was the solution. I dragged his hand away and let him lay against my chest and breathe deeply.
“Tell me. What do you think about?”
Eric laid quiet, like he expected the question to disappear if he just ignored it.
“Talk to me, please.”
“I don't know,” he said lowly. “Just shit. Old memories.”
“What kind of memories?” I wanted him to tell me about his childhood with his own words, but he was quiet again.
“It can help to talk about it.”
“I don't know what to say,” he said and shrugged his shoulders. “It's just bullshit things.” 
He was just the same as he was when he was four years old. I wondered if he had told anyone what had actually happened to him as a child. I dragged my fingers through his hair until he suddenly talked with a whisper, like he didn't dare to say it out loud.
“It was my own fault... I should have said something, but... I guess I was ashamed."
“You don't need to be ashamed; it wasn't your fault.” 
My comment could reveal I knew more than I should, but he didn't say anything about it; he just sighed deeply and laid a hand over his face. 
“Eric? You were a child; it's okay to talk about it. You don't have any responsibility for this.” 
He nodded a little but didn't remove his hand, so I moved him away from my chest and laid down so our faces were at the same height. 
I waited for him to say something, and at last he did. 
“I had the best parents... My foster parents. I love…” he swallowed hard and looked down at the sheets. “They were the best, but my biological mother... Eh fuck,” he sat up in bed and laid his hands over his face. I didn't move, hoping he would lay down when he was ready. 
“She was just fucked up.” He shrugged his shoulders like that was all. 
“Fucked up, how?” I asked and dragged my hand over his naked back. Eric put his hands on his head and dragged them back to his neck in an uncomfortable manner. 
“Eh fuck Della, I don't want to talk about this.” 
I nodded a little and pulled lightly on his forearm. 
“Okay, of course. Come now, baby, let's sleep…”  
He laid down on my chest again, and I hugged his head in my arms. I was disappointed he didn't want to tell me, and at the same time, I worried so much about him. It wasn't healthy to carry around such things in his chest without processing them. I also felt the bad conscience grow in my tummy. I knew so much about him but pretended to know nothing so he would tell me more. 
Eric fell asleep after having listened to my heart for a couple minutes; he didn't seem to notice it beating harder with anxiety. I was his girlfriend, but the only thing I did was lie. I wanted to be honest; I wanted our relationship to be true, but for that to happen, I needed to tell him I had stalked him, I had fooled his mom and brother, and I had lied to him. He would never forgive me for that. 
I pressed my cheek against the top of his head and breathed in his minty shampoo. I tried to calm myself with deep breaths, but my tears slipped down in his black hair and disappeared. I wished it could be as easy for my lies to disappear. 
 ××× 
I could see that all of my girlfriends looked at Eric with big eyes, even my sister, Desiree. 
We were out dancing at a club, celebrating Halloween, and getting tipsy on tequila shots. Eric was one of the few guys in the club that had some sort of Halloween costume. He had let me do his makeup, and we matched each other, with black tears streaming down our cheeks, and he also had my black lipstick on. He did what he wanted and didn't even think about how people would react. 
“I think you need a glass of water!” He said to me over the music and laughed at my disoriented look. “I’ll get one for you!”
Eric stood up and walked away to the bar. He towered over most people, and it made it easy for me to see where he went. I looked at my friends who also looked after him. He wore a dark gray tank top in a loose model that showed off his arms and muscular chest. He paired it with bleached jeans that sat baggy on his long legs. 
“He's hot as fuck!” Nessa said to me loudly over the music even if her boyfriend sat next to her. I giggled and laid my head against the couch. I was a bit too drunk, but I had the luxury to know I had a boyfriend who would be able to carry me home. 
“He is, but... He looks like a player! Are you sure he is a good guy?” asked Desiree and looked at me seriously. 
“He's not a player! I promise. Don't you notice how shy he is?” 
Eric had said hello to everyone but kept mostly quiet while we talked. He just nodded a little with a smile when he agreed with something. 
“Are you sure he's shy? It can just be a way to win you over,” said Nessa's boyfriend and took a sip of his beer. I gave him an irritated, pointed look.
“You think he has played shy for three months? He's shy! Even if he looks like a bad boy!” I said with a drunken giggle. Desiree shook her head amused and also giggled. We fell quiet when Eric came back, carrying a glass of water for me and a beer for himself. In my toxication, I crawled into his lap with a giggle and kissed his face several times. I was so proud to have such a hot, sweet boyfriend. I could see jealous eyes on us. Eric smirked at me but then pressed his lips against mine. 
“What's your training routine?” Paulina's boyfriend asked suddenly. I had seen him looking at Eric a lot, but I hadn't put so much thought into what it meant, but now I knew. I looked at Eric, who played with my short leather skirt with an uncomfortable expression. He was probably not so comfortable answering that because he trained a bit too much. It was sometimes many hours a day. 
“No, you don't really know, right? You just work out when you want to,” I said so he wouldn't need to answer the question. He looked at me with big eyes, then smiled. 
“Yeah, it's not scheduled, so I don't know,” said he with a shoulder shrug.
××× 
We became even more intoxicated, except Eric, who drank as much as the other guys but was completely unfazed. We were outside of the club, ready to go to the next destination, but we needed to wait on Nessa, who puked in an alley with Desiree as help. Paulina and Amanda looked between me and Eric, leaning against the building further away, closer to the alley. 
“He's super hot... Isn't that hard? I don't mean this in a bad way, but... He's a really hot guy, while you're more... Cute?” said Amanda.
I scoffed and looked at Eric, who had pulled up his tank top to show his abs for the men around him. It was silly behavior and probably nothing they would have done if they weren't drunk. 
“You mean I'm not hot enough for him?” 
“I don't mean it like that! Just that you maybe don't match?” 
I shook my head in disbelief but also wondered how she would continue the conversation, but instead both of my friends just looked at him when he laughed showing off his abs. I was so proud of him. So, so proud of that amazing human, but now I felt worried and jealous. Because of Demi's reaction to him, I had started to believe I was the only one seeing his beauty, but I was so wrong; even the guys stood and gawked at his body. I had been naive, and now I got worried some other girl was around the corner, prepared to steal my man. 
I left Paulina and Amanda without saying anything and walked up to my tall boyfriend. He was the tallest in the group. He was the fittest in the group. The hottest of them too. I wasn't the hottest of my friends; I wasn't even the tallest. 
“I'm tired,” I whined and pushed my face against his chest, acting like I was more drunk than I was. Eric looked down at me with a silly smile and put my hair behind my ear with soft fingers. 
“Do you want to go home?” He asked and lifted my chin so he could look me in the eyes. I pouted and nodded like a sour five-year-old. He played with my pouting underlip with his thumb in a teasing way and made the same face himself. 
“Then we go home, yeah?” 
I nodded but lifted my arms, and he lifted me up like it was obvious what I wanted. I could see my girlfriends look at me with some sort of envy. Maybe they just wanted their boyfriends to be more like Eric, or they wanted him. I didn't care, the only thing I knew was that I would never let him go. He was mine. 
××× 
How we ended up on the floor I couldn't remember. I could only remember what I saw right then and there. Eric had my naked leg in a tight grip, slung over his shoulder, while snapping his hips fast. His girthy cock pushed into me fast and hard and I could hear myself moaning in a pathetic way; sometimes I even mixed in his name, something I've never done with any guy before. When I looked up at him, I could see his dark gaze and open mouth. I could see a sweaty chest and abs and a v-line carved with the sharpest knife. He kissed my calf while slapping his hips against mine. He let me often lay down because I couldn't match his strength and stamina, but he didn't complain; it felt more like he fucked me even harder because he wanted to tease me.
“Can I come inside of you?” He said it between his pants, and I just nodded. He had learned he didn't need to do much to get me to come when he had transformed me into a pile of just lifeless body parts, he just pressed down with two fingers over my clit, like it was a button, and rubbed it a few times, then I came together with him. 
××× 
I really needed to start to work out again. Even if I hadn't really done any heavy lifting, I had pain in my thighs the next morning. I was happy my parents had been nice and had taken Odin for a night; in exchange, they could meet my boyfriend. I looked at my boyfriend snoring loudly with an open mouth. He always snored loudly when he had been drinking alcohol. Sometimes he even woke me up. I was nervous about bringing him to my parents. I knew he would be the best boy but I didn't know if my parents would be as well behaved. I don’t even think they had seen someone with as many tattoos as Eric. They would probably be uncomfortable but I hoped they at least would be nice. 
I laid my nose against his neck even if he was snoring and slung a leg over his hip. I just wanted to be close, and I hoped the sight of my pussy so close to his cock would make him perk up when he was awake. I smirked to myself, lost in filthy thoughts, so I didn't even hear the entrance door open. 
If I knew, I would have jumped up and closed the door to the bedroom. If I knew that Robin had taken his own key to surprise me early in the morning, I would have suggested Eric should take a run in my neighborhood. The last thing I would do was lay naked with his brother, who started to get hard in his sleep. 
I thought I heard the sound of keys but waved it away as nothing. Instead, I dug down my nose even further down in Eric's neck and let my pussy push against his hardened cock. I knew it was okay I did that; he just likes being woken up with sex.
“What the fuck?” I heard Robin say behind me in such a confused voice that I didn't even recognize his voice. I turned to the door and met his blue eyes that looked at us upset. First I couldn't move, even if he could see so much of our naked bodies, and when I started to realize what was actually happening, I moved away from Eric and covered us both up with covers. 
“Oh my god, oh my god... Robin, it wasn't meant…” I whined and put my hands over my face in shame. 
“You're fucking with him??” Said Robin, upset and waved with his arms, so he accidentally waved down a vase standing on my vanity table. It was crushed into hundreds of small pieces, but it also crushed Eric's sleep, and he looked up, confused. He sat up, exposing his whole naked torso, and it made Robin look away, like he thought the view was disgusting. Eric looked at Robin in silence than at me in confusion. 
“What, what, what is this?” He stuttered. His big green eyes were full of worry but also hurt. He already knew I had done something stupid that would break his trust in just as many pieces as the vase. 
×
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natspookie · 1 year ago
Text
music to my heart
natasha x shy!fem reader
☆ summary : just reader who likes music, and natasha who likes reader
☆ warning : not proofread & messy ….
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natasha was raised to be observant. noticing the details many miss at first glance. her first impression of you was, clearly, shy. but she saw how loud your actions were.
when there were meetings and a question was asked there would be a silence for a moment. she’d see you inhale, about to open your mouth, when someone else answers and you sink back to your chair.
natasha notices the bouncing of your leg when it’s almost your turn to present the mission recap, and the gulp you take before speaking a few quiet words. but she also sees how you straighten your posture, more confident after a while.
but more so, how it’s rare to see you without your earphones. working out, eating breakfast, sitting outside, laying on the bed, there was always those wired earphones connected to your phone.
occasionally natasha could catch a glimpse of the album cover playing on your lock screen.
it was only recently when everyone was gathered in the common room, enjoying free time, when thor returned. you broke your right arm on a mission so you had a cast, unable to move it.
you had left your earphones on the couch while getting a glass of water when thor’s hand accidentally brushed it and a little crackling noise was heard.
natasha turned to the sound and frowned when she saw the white (really a little grey since it’s been used for so long) earphones turn a burnt brown color.
you returned and saw thor examining your earphones. he apologized over and over saying he would get you a new pair as soon as possible, you nodded, muttering a ‘don’t worry’, and took them as you left.
natasha liked that you didn’t say ‘it’s okay’, because you probably wouldn’t have meant it.
natasha decided to check up on you, knocking on your door. she heard a few grunts and things falling but the door opened as you pulled a sweater over your tank top. “hey natasha” you smiled, widening the door with your hand.
“you alright? where are you going?” natasha examined the room “uhh about to get some new earphones” “you’re driving with one hand to the mall” natasha raised a brow “perhaps” you shrugged, putting on your socks.
“i’ll drive you” natasha offered “no! i mean- no..” natasha squint her eyes “.. i don’t want to bother you” “i was bored anyways, see you at the front in 5 minutes” natasha winked and left with no room left to argue.
you laughed quietly before becoming a little nervous. you admired natasha, who didn’t? but you always knew natasha was an observer, you were too. you couldn’t help but feel a little shy as she read you like an open book, that’s what you thought at least.
you met natasha outside as she smirked in her chevrolet corvette stingray. you smiled, hopping inside as you put your seatbelt on.
“so what mall are we going to?” natasha asked “the closest one” you shrugged
it was comfortable silence for awhile until there was a red stop light and natasha fiddled with the screen in the car. she handed her phone to you and you looked at it confused. “play your music, sweetheart” she started the car again as the green light went.
if you were standing you would have fallen to the ground with that nickname. “thanks” you murmured, searching the songs you wanred on her spotify. you smiled already seeing fleetwood mac in her searched.
you played around with it a little, starting off with dreams, then drake’s passionfruit, and some daniel caesar songs. it wasn’t a long ride but natasha could tell you were biased daniel.
she watched from her peripheral as you mouthed the words quietly, gazing (gayzing) out the window.
the walk inside the mall was quiet. natasha insisted she come with you. you bought yourself the normal pair of wired earphones at apple but decided to spoil yourself and get a pair of wireless headphones, just incase.
she didn’t mind staying behind or beside you as you smiled hearing music, testing the different kinds of headphones. you turned around and tapped natasha’s shoulders, she looked at you expectingly as you turned one side of the flexible silver sony headphones to her and she pressed her ear against it. daniel caesar’s “do you like me” flooded her ears
“Is this one good?” you looked at her. she stood up straighter and nodded. “the rose gold one looked cuter on you though” she rasped out while you blushed.
you walked to the counter. you bought the rose gold ones. the ride home all you played was daniel caesar.
you hugged natasha with one arm as a thank you before hurrying to your room, eager to try your new headphones.
natasha wondered if it was a good idea to let you buy them because now, she seemed to talk to you less.
it had been 2 weeks later, arm fully healed when natasha asked you, personally, to assist her on her 3 day long mission. she just wanted to spend more time with you.
you nodded with a small smile and natasha was ecstatic. until she heard you at the kitchen. “hey! i was wondering if you wanted my daniel concert ticket? i don’t think i’ll be able to make it…” natasha saw you fiddling with the blue ticket, her chest tightened. “great! i’ll send over the tickets later, thanks!” natasha made her way to her room, to do research on this concert.
she kept a straight face as the concert was the exact 3 days she had just asked you on a mission for.
natasha would make it up to you.
right after the mission, natasha dropped the team off at the shield headquarters when she flew you both to the next location this daniel caesar was performing. “nat, where are we goin?” you laughed
“surprise” she winked
she asked you to change into your usual clothes and dragged you through the crowd. “oh my god” you saw the banner of the concert “OH MY GOD!” you shrieked as you walked into the theatre “NATASHA! you! i-! what!” you jumbled your words as natasha laughed at your antics, dragging you to good middle upper seats.
“no one has ever done this for me” you admitted, staring into her eyes. people started screaming as your favorite artist entered the stage. you still couldn’t tear your eyes away from natasha.
the song “do you like me” played and you sang quietly the lyrics to natasha ‘low on time i’d like to make a move’ you murmured, inching closer to you, as she did. when your lips met, you felt on fire.
“thanks for driving me to the mall that day” you said against her ear, grinning “thanks for being the music to my heart”
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a/n, i’m seeing daniel next week and this is how i cope… i’ll never be fine again
928 notes · View notes
lloromanic0 · 11 months ago
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reader sending 2023!tom some pictures (iykwim) while hes at a meeting or on live or something. add whatever i seriously have nothing else to support this request LOL.
(only if ur comfortable ofc) <3
Thank you soooo much for the request I hope you like it! <3
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These are probably my favorite pictures of Tom.
SMUT MDNI!!!
Content: public masturbation (Tom), phone sex (video calling).
Risky texts
“I’ll see you soon baby.” Said Tom placing a kiss on your forehead.
“I’ll miss you Tom.” You replied in a sad voice.
“I’ll miss you more.” And with that you watched Tom walk away with his luggage, getting into the Uber that was going to take him to a meeting regarding the production of the new album of his band. It was a long ride since the studio they were working with was in a different city he would spend one night at a hotel and come back early in the next morning.
*4 hours later*
Texts
Tom❤️
Just got here, we will go directly to the meeting so I’ll text you later. Love you.
Me
I’ll miss you, love you lots.
You really missed Tom, he was always so busy these last couple days, of course you understood that it was his career but you wish he would play a little more attention to you,so you decided to force him to do so. You go up the stairs into your shared bedroom, opening the closet to choose some “clothes” so you could send Tom some special pictures. You knew how he loved when you wore his clothes,so you grabbed a white button down shirt of his. You wore it with nothing underneath, just some simple lacy black panties to tease him a little more. You lay down on the bed just taking an effortless picture from the top,capturing your body from your shoulders to your thighs, the shirt has a few open buttons to enchant your cleavage as well as showing him the underwear he had bought for you, the cold material of the shirt made your perky nipples poke through it, you knew that would drive him crazy.
*ding*
Tom’s phone rang
“Tom I told you to turn off your phone.” Whispered Bill.
“I know but it could be important.”
He opened the chat and immediately froze at the sight, he wanted to be mad at you but his urge to fuck you was much more intense. He awkwardly sat back on the chair his black dress pants feeling tighter by the minute as he desperately tried to cover his erection with his jacket. He tried to ignore it and pay attention to the producers talking but his phone vibrated again.
Now you had the shirt completely open your perky tits on display for him and your panties were pulled down a little more, the next second you already sent him another one. A mirror selfie, now you were completely naked standing on your knees on the bed, just the shirt to cover your arms a little.
His horniness was getting unbearable, he couldn’t believe you did this to him, but deep down he had to admit he loved it.
“I need to excuse myself for I second, I’ll be quick.” Said Tom quickly getting up, his jacket placed on his arm trying to cover his boner. Everyone gave him weird looks but he was oblivious to it.
He entered his private restroom unbuckling his belt immediately, calling you right after.
“Cmon pick up…pick up..”
“Hi Tom.” You answered, acting like you did nothing.
“Are you crazy?!”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about…”
“Of course you don’t. Do you how hard it is to hide a boner?!”
“Not my fault Tommy…”
“Put me on face time now.”
You did as he said, you held the phone above you, showing your face and breasts on the frame, smiling innocently at your husband.
“Fuck…” he whispered, taking his cock out of his underwear. He lowered his phone showing you his aching member.
“See what you do to me Schatzi…” you rubbed your legs together at the sight, you wish you were with him right now you cunt ached for his cock.
“Touch yourself for me baby, I know you want to.”
You reach for your panties to pull them down,spreading your wet folds to press your index finger against your clit making you moan at the touch.
“Let me see you pleasuring yourself my love.”
Tom’s voice low as he moaned, his grip never leaving his hard cock pumping as fast as he could desperate to reach his orgasm.
You lowered the camera to show him your wet cunt as you circled your clit.
“Fuck babe you’re so wet for me I wish I was there fucking your pretty little pussy.”
“Please Tom come home and fuck me.” You replied your moans and whines getting louder as he tried to keep his down not wanting to get caught.
“I wish baby mmhhmm..”
As you felt you orgasm approaching you easily inserted too fingers in your cunt pumping and curling them on your sweet spot moaning and pleading desperately.
“T-Tom I’m close aahh~…”
“Me too Schatzi cum with me…”
His hand griping his length harshly moving it up and down his dick, now paying extra attention to his tip as he seeks his release. With a few more strokes he came all over his hand, his thick semen spurting from his tip as he slowly stroked himself ridding his high. You followed a few seconds later, your legs shaking as you kept circling your clit slowly enjoying your orgasm a little longer.
“Did that feel good my love?” Asked Tom.
“It would have been better if you were here…” you replied.
“I’ll be there tomorrow baby, be patient for me.”
“I will Tom, I love you.”
“I love you more princess, I better get back now I’ll call you later.”
188 notes · View notes
ohdorothea · 26 days ago
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This tournament is being run by and for queer fans so please keep that in mind! Homophobes will be blocked on sight <3 More polls here and more info here! Lyrics for the songs and FAQ under the cut!
🫶🫶🫶
Speak Now lyrics
I am not the kind of girl
Who should be rudely barging in on a white-veil occasion
But you are not the kind of boy
Who should be marrying the wrong girl
I sneak in and see your friends
And her snotty little family all dressed in pastel
And she is yelling at a bridesmaid
Somewhere back inside a room
Wearing a gown shaped like a pastry
This is surely not what you thought it would be
I lose myself in a daydream
Where I stand and say
Don't say "Yes", run away now
I'll meet you when you're out of the church at the back door
Don't wait or say a single vow
You need to hear me out
And they said, "Speak now."
Fond gestures are exchanged
And the organ starts to play
A song that sounds like a death march
And I am hiding in the curtains
It seems that I was uninvited by your lovely bride-to-be
She floats down the aisle like a pageant queen
But I know you wish it was me
You wish it was me
Don't you?
Don't say "Yes", run away now
I'll meet you when you're out of the church at the back door
Don't wait or say a single vow
You need to hear me out
And they said, "Speak now."
Don't say "Yes", run away now
I'll meet you when you're out of the church at the back door
Don't wait or say a single vow
Your time is running out
And they said, "Speak now."
Oh, la, la
Oh, oh
Say a single vow
I hear the preacher say, "Speak now or forever hold your peace."
There's the silence, there's my last chance
I stand up with shaky hands, all eyes on me
Horrified looks from everyone in the room
But I'm only looking at you
I am not the kind of girl
Who should be rudely barging in on a white-veil occasion
But you are not the kind of boy
Who should be marrying the wrong girl
So, don't say "Yes", run away now
I'll meet you when you're out of the church at the back door
Don't wait or say a single vow
You need to hear me out
And they said, "Speak now."
And you say, "Let's run away now
I'll meet you when I'm out of my tux at the back door
Baby, I didn't say my vows
So glad you were around
When they said, "Speak now."
🫶🫶🫶
Enchanted lyrics
There I was again tonight
Forcing laughter, faking smiles
Same old tired lonely place
Walls of insincerity
Shifting eyes and vacancy
Vanished when I saw your face
All I can say is it was enchanting to meet you
Your eyes whispered, "Have we met?"
Across the room your silhouette
Starts to make its way to me
The playful conversation starts
Counter all your quick remarks
Like passing notes in secrecy
And it was enchanting to meet you
All I can say is I was enchanted to meet you
This night is sparkling, don't you let it go
I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew
I was enchanted to meet you
The lingering question kept me up
2 AM, who do you love?
I wonder 'til I'm wide awake
And now I'm pacing back and forth
Wishing you were at my door
I'd open up and you would say, "Hey
It was enchanting to meet you
All I know is I was enchanted to meet you."
This night is sparkling, don't you let it go
I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew
This night is flawless, don't you let it go
I'm wonderstruck, dancing around all alone
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew
I was enchanted to meet you
This is me praying that
This was the very first page
Not where the storyline ends
My thoughts will echo your name
Until I see you again
These are the words I held back
As I was leaving too soon
I was enchanted to meet you
Please don't be in love with someone else
Please don't have somebody waiting on you
Please don't be in love with someone else
Please don't have somebody waiting on you
This night is sparkling, don't you let it go
I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew
This night is flawless, don't you let it go
(Please don't be in love with someone else)
I'm wonderstruck, dancing around all alone
(Please don't have somebody waiting on you)
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew
(Please don't be in love with someone else)
I was enchanted to meet you
Please don't be in love with someone else
Please don't have somebody waiting on you
🫶🫶🫶
The question is which song is queerer to you! Queerer can mean whatever you want it to mean; you might consider a song queer because you think it was written that way, or because of Swiftian lore. It might be queer to you because of how you relate it to your own life. Maybe you think from a purely literary standpoint the lyrics have queer themes; maybe you're just thinking about vibes!!!
If you’d like to send in interpretations or propaganda for a specific song you can send them to my inbox! All interpretations are welcome and let’s be open and kind in response to all interpretations <3
35 notes · View notes
amber-lucca44 · 7 months ago
Text
Couldn't sleep and was bored, and kinda hate Drake so um
Drake's biggest fuckups I've caught on this beef
He loves trying to diss Kendrick for his height. Yk like a toddler would.
He tries to say Kendrick's Mr. Morale & The Big Steppers was a bad album. If we're talking critical reviews, it had a Metacritic rating of 85/100, compared to Drake's highest ever rating of 79/100 for Nothing Was The Same. In fact, Kendrick's lowest Metacritic score so far has been 80/100 for Section.80, again over Drake's highest.
...and if we're talking sales or streams, well first, no one ever challenged Drake's sales compared to Kendrick. I think we all know Drake is pretty much unmatched when it comes to that. Second, if sales were a factor to determine quality of music, then holy shit "Despacito" must be an all time magnum opus like nothing anyone ever heard before lol.
Trying to call Kendrick a sellout for doing songs with Maroon 5 and Taylor Swift? Drake calling someone else a sellout? 🤡🤡🤡
The line where he said Kendrick isn't on the big three because SZA, Travis Scott and 21 Savage "got him wiped down". Okay, first, I'm pretty sure this guy thinks big three means just "the three best selling" and uhhh no not quite. And second, and most obvious, SZA? SZA isn't even a rapper, why are you trying to bring her into this? 🙄
The AI to imitate 2Pac's and Snoop's voices. A few points here. First of all, the fucking disrespect to 2Pac, what the fuck. Glad Pac's family threatened him to remove it. Second, Snoop Dogg is alive. You just used his AI voice cause you know damn well he wouldn't be caught dead doing a verse on a Kendrick diss for you. And as a third point, it's just funny you felt like you had to use AI to make a diss track. Ghostwriters weren't enough for this one ig lol.
"Taylor Made Freestyle" was all just him begging on his hands and knees for Kendrick to reply something and give him some attention. Drake took almost a month replying to Kendrick's verse on "Like That". And he's begging for a response to "Push Ups" like a week after it was leaked (and the same day it was even officially released in the first place)
He tried to say the things Kendrick would diss him with. He was mostly right but oh boy did Kendrick do so much more.
Is he a Swiftie too? Cause he wouldn't let her go for "Taylor Made". In his mind, he swears Kendrick wasn't dropping a diss cause he didn't want to interrupt Taylor Swift's album's success, which is just a funny and dumb conclusion to make.
Spends the end of that track just talking, trying to praise Taylor for "managing Kendrick's schedule". 🤡
Drake beginning "Family Matters" with an n word and then going "yeah I said it I know that you mad" really came off sounding like when 12 year olds play online and say the word to seem tough. 😂
"Always rapping like you trying to get the slaves freed". Dang so making songs that actually have substance and meaning means you wanna free slaves, okay.
About these next lines...
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Kendrick said he hated the girls you fuck referring to your dumbass being a pedo and hated you trying to hook up with underage girls. Not at any point did he say anything about their color tf.
"I've been with black and white and everything that's in between" okay so all underage girls okay got it. Again that was never the point. 😐
"You the black messiah wifin' up a mixed queen" Drake seriously missed the whole entire fucking point. Kendrick never said he didn't like you for hooking up with white women, what the fuck. And again the messiah thing is just funny.
He mentioned Whitney on "Push Ups", and some gave him the benefit of the doubt thinking he might have just done some wordplay about Whitney Houston being called the same as Kendrick's wife, wasn't clear enough. But these lyrics here are what made it abundantly clear he did want to try to mess with his family. I'm sorry but at this point that's not a rap beef, you intentionally tried to make it personal. Maybe you knew you never had a chance so you thought going there would make it possible to win? As if you didn't have a horrible fucking record already.
"Why you never hold your son and tell him 'say cheese'?" Maybe he doesn't want to expose him too much to the public while he raises him, decent human beings would understand that.
"We could've left the kids out of this, don't blame me" Kendrick said you don't know shit about raising a child based on information that was already abundantly public (see "The Story Of Addidon") and also based on the fact that you, despite having that child, love playing tough on IG and dropping disses using AI begging Kendrick to reply. Trying to get Kendrick's children involved is totally on you, buddy. Kendrick wasn't the one dealing with being exposed with having a child no one knew about and you wouldn't acknowledge.
He loves baselessly claiming that one of Kendrick's children isn't his. Again, baselessly, so literally just gossip lol.
And speaking of baseless stuff, he's really keeps running on his claim that Kendrick has beaten his wife. THERE IS NO EVIDENCE OF THIS. Like at all. In his mind, he probably thinks that since his easily provable bullshit was exposed, he'll try to invent some bs on Kendrick too to make it seem like they're both horrible people. The only piece of shit we know of in this beef is you, Drake.
Not at Kendrick but in a diss aimed at The Weeknd, Drake had to pull out his homophobic card. Disgusting. Fuck, it's so easy to dislike this guy. 🙄
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Saying that Kendrick's music only "hitting hard" when Baby Keem writes on it. Is it cause he has writing credits on "N95"? He does ad libs on the song so I'm pretty sure that's why he's listed. Are the ad libs that fire? Lol
"Kendrick just opened his mouth, somebody go hand him a Grammy right now" awww he jealous bout Kendrick's Grammy's lol 🥺
He brought up Kendrick's transgender uncle, and was transphobic to try to diss Kendrick. Just plain ignorant and disgusting as hell. But of course he did. 😑🙄
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Tried to blame Kendrick for 2Pac's family threatening legal action for his "Taylor Made Freestyle". Bro what you did was plain disrespectful and it was just bound to happen.
Did he really try to brag about the video leaked of him masturbating? 🤡🤡🤡
And this nonsense right here, was it cause he visited Ghana or something? He's trying to pin Kendrick as a racist? Huh?
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...and follows this up with an ignorant, racist, weird ass comment dissing Michael Jackson too for no reason whatsoever. 🤡
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Talking to the mirror here lol
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Naming his diss track "The Heart part 6" was almost clever. Except for the fact that yk the song is fucking trash.
The first line on this song calls Kendrick "the Pulitzer Prize winner". Yeah pointing out an accolade as amazing as that one at the beginning of a diss towards him will definitely do it. 😀
Having a comment by Dave Free as the cover for the single. Is this his evidence for a kid being his? 😂
Saying you "plotted to give Kendrick information" doesn't even help you much when it's all easily believable based on your background lol.
Denying the child Kendrick is exposing him to have, again, doesn't help your case at all after Adonis.
Goes back to saying Kendrick beat his wife and one of his children is not his, again with no evidence or hint whatsoever, only to go and say he's all about "facts". 🤡
Okay so, be careful everyone, don't leave heart emojis to any child or baby post ever, cause Drake is going to think you're the father.
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Why is he even bringing up Kendrick's confessions on "Mother I Sober"? How is bringing up a traumatic potential sexual abuse incident a good way to dodge your own sexual abuse allegations? And that's not even exactly what Kendrick said on the fucking song! It's just disgusting.
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And then tries to ridicule Kendrick for being a victim of this. What the fuck is wrong with this mf.
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Okay and this one is just cringe. He tried to spin Kendrick's jab on "Not Like Us". B sharp isn't even a thing btw. 😂😂🤡
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"I'd never look twice at no teenager" there is literally video of you kissing a teenager on stage, for starters. So you just look at them once before you creep on them how does that work
"Only fucking with Whitney" ah yes the old "I'll fuck your bitch" trope very clever and original Drake
Drake believing some bullshit he saw around about Kendrick using bots to boost his view count is just hilarious. He really thinks Kenny sat down and took some time to actually do that. 😂😂
He thinks people will cancel Kendrick over his baseless battery accusations. 🤡
He ends it with another minute rant like the one he did on "Taylor Made", and starts by saying the beef was "some good exercise". Ngl it is the first time I hear Drake rap at all in a while. So yeah gotta thank Kendrick for getting Drake to actually TRY to do some good music at all. (It's not even good but yk better than whatever trash he was doing before the beef)
"Just let me know when we getting to the facts, everything in my shit is facts" *doubles down on baseless claims of battery and one of Kendrick's children not being his*
77 notes · View notes
ferrstappen · 2 years ago
Text
Taylor Swift l The Collection
this is the masterlist for a series of one shots, scenarios that have come up while listening to different Taylor Swifts albums, with different drivers from the grid <3
Back to December l Charles Leclerc
and I think about summer, all the beautiful times, I watched you laughing from the passenger side.
summary: she cursed herself every day for being scared of falling for him, because he wasn't afraid of loving her.
You Belong With Me l George Russell
if you could see that I'm the one who understands you, been here all along, so why can't you see? You belong with me.
summary: she had the worst luck because her best friend was a serial dater, but she knows him better than any of his girlfriends, and she needs him to know.
august l Lando Norris
wanting was enough, for me it was enough.
summary: every single one of her friends warned her that he was fresh out of a relationship. his friends whispered that he had been so in love just a couple of weeks ago and now he was holding hands with someone else. but she didn't care.
Enchanted l Lance Stroll
this night is sparkling, don't you let it go. I'm wonderstruck blushing all the way home
summary: forced small talk, tiny pieces of fancy finger food, and long flutes of champagne, but after they saw each other... small talk became a little bigger, laughter falling a bit more freely.
Ours l Max Verstappen
so don't you worry your pretty little mind, people throw rocks at things that shine.
summary: he was always in the eye of the hurricane; some days because of his talents, others because of his character, but it didn't matter when he got home and walked holding her hand.
Girl At Home l Daniel Ricciardo
don't look at me, you got a girl at home and everybody knows that.
summary: she knew he had someone back in Australia waiting for him. but she was so far away, and he needed to be comforted, now.
Begin Again l Pierre Gasly
he didn't like it when I wore high heels, but I do.
summary: she was used to the bare minimum, maybe even a little less than that. and then he came in, waiting for her to order first during their first date.
Long Live l Esteban Ocon
of all the years that we stood there on the sidelines, wishing for right now.
summary: Esteban Ocon (aka the biggest Spiderman fan, according to himself) tried to bribe his girlfriend, gave her the silent treatment, he called her out during race weekends, but Marvel was just too good keeping their secrets. (actress!reader)
False God l Carlos Sainz Jr.
but we might just get away with it.
summary: it was just the third race of the calendar when he walked inside her hotel room, telling her that they could try it... and HR would never know.
Speak Now l Max Verstappen
fond gestures are exchanged, and the organ starts to play a song that sounds like a death march.
summary: His mind was spinning. Get up, sit down! Speak up, shut up! You already lost her, you broke up with her! Nobody would've guessed everything that was going on inside Max's head as he watched her put on her white dress.
Sparks Fly l Charles Leclerc
give me something that will haunt me when you're not around
summary: she liked telling people that she was done with love, but shit... his green eyes made her want to jump into his arms and love him to the best of her ability.
Happiness l Charles Leclerc
there'll be happiness after you, but there was happiness because of you.
summary: they were going to be fine, relationships come to an end eventually... but he was focused on his job, and she was watching him through the screen.
illicit affairs l Carlos Sainz Jr.
and you know damn well, for you I'd ruin myself.
summary: it wasn't fair that he made her fall in love with him, not when he took her heart for granted and his heart started beating for some other girl.
463 notes · View notes
delilaahh9 · 14 days ago
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The “Hughes” War
October 1st, 2021
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annabellehugh
Go stream “That Way” on all platforms right now and- oh ya my new album “think later” at 6pm EST!
Comments
@quinnhughes - EXCUSE ME?!
→ did i not tell you?
→ @jhughes - YOU DIDNT TELL ANYONE!
→ @annabellehug woops
→ @user27 - she’s so unbothered I love it
@jhughes - I’m so proud of you! Even if you eat all my cereal
@Annabellehug - your a millionaire buy your own goddamn cereal
@zoebormet - AHHHH SHES BACK AT IT
→ @annabellehug 😉💗
@cariganprice - ON REPEAT! IM SO SERIOUS
→ @annabellehug - I LOVE YOU
@lhughes_06 - wow okay
@lhughes_06 -this is insane
Her first single after her first album, that came out in 2020 just after graduating, before her gap year. Most of the songs were about her ex, max and so are some of the songs on her new album, while one of them is about mark.. but so is the single but one just happens to mention something about her relationship with Jack and she wasn’t even sure if she should use it but all her friends who she told about it said she should, so she is going to.
Which she shouldn’t have, or he shouldn’t have had the reaction he did.
6:12 pm
There was a set of knocks on the door of her dorm room, but the certain sequence of knocks only belongs to the knuckles of one person. “Come in mark” she says and puts her phone down. He looked out of breath, afraid almost, Like he was running from something.
“Make what’s-” she stands up keeping pressure off her knee, but she doesn’t need the crutches anymore.
“Is it about me” he whispers and walks closer.
Her eyebrows raise a little bit, in shock on how this conversation could go either way.
“I… um… what” she says quietly, but a little louder then he was before.
“Is it about me” he asks again, she swallows harshly but nods slowly which he then pulls her into a tight hug.
“I’m sorry Belle- I’m so sorry I didnt mean to make you feel like that I like you I like you a lot. So much it almost hurts and makes me afraid of my own feelings” he admits and they both have small, light, tears in their eyes.
“Do you really?” She asks.
He runs his hand up and down her back before pulling back to look at her.
“So much”
They stare at each other for what seems like hours and just as he is about to ask her, a phone rings. It’s Luke, calling mark.
“Whats up” he asks. “Yea I’m with her, okay, bye”
“Wanna for a drive?” He asks and the two head out the door.
Jacks POV
6:15pm
I knew she liked to sing, but how did I not ever realize she liked to write and perform and produce her music, I didn’t even know she could play the guitar. So if I didn’t feel like shit before I do now. As the 9th song plays, my brain freezes.
“Same fears, same dreams, still trying to get my brother to like me”
Does she really think that?
I would call Luke, but the chances of them being together right now are high so Quinn it is.
“What’s up J-“
“Does she hate me or something?!” I exclaim.
“Woah dude- who are you talking about” he asks.
“Annabelle, fuck, have you listened to Calgary”
“No, I’m just leaving the gym, what’s going on”
“The lyric is *Same fears, same dreams, still trying to get my brother to like me.* Does she think I hate her”Tears are threatening from my eyes while my knuckles are turning white against my steering wheel.
“Jack I’m sure it’s not what you think-”
“What else could it be! I’m the only one she argues with- remember my rookie year when we wouldn’t talk for like.. weeks because of how busy we both were but she would always talk to you two”
“And you always talked to us, Jack I don’t know what’s going on with you two but you need to talk it out, when was the last time you spoke to her”
“When I left? I think maybe the night of that game she somehow came too”
“The day after her surgery- Jack that was like 2 weeks ago- okay you need to call her later tonight she’s out right now. Got it?”
“Ok” I take a breath I didn’t realize I was holding, then hung up.
(Back to 3rd person)
8:28 pm
“Can we talk about what happened earlier” she asks mark as they sit in his car in-front of their building.
“Yea, Uhm, I guess what I was saying is, I do, like you a lot, more then a friend” he admits quietly and she smiles back at him.
“Feelings are mutual, if you couldn’t tell” he chuckles and reaches for her hand, then holds it for a minute.
Meanwhile, Jack was flooding her phone with so many messages along the lines of “I’m mad at you” and “do you hate me”.
“You know you didn’t have to write a song to get me to realize I liked you”
“Yea well clearly I had to write one about Jack being a dick for him to realize he was one”
“Oh Calgary, yes I was waiting for that one. Are you okay?”
“Mhm, I’ll just… call him later I guess. Do you wanna stay with me?” She asks and he nods his head, then the two get out of the car and walk hand in hand to her dorm room.
“Oh I forgot my phone In The car I’ll be up in a second” he says and she heads up while he goes back to car, in the mean time, Anna sits at her desk while she receives a lovely call from Jack.
“Anna what the fuck, do you realize what you did” he says as soon as she answers.
“Did what Jack. Release a song” she sighs.
“No, your stomping on mine. Did you not think that your fans will hate me because of that line”
She didn’t even think about the fan part of it.
“No I didn’t Jack, because I don’t make decisions for myself based of you or fans”
“That’s not what I meant- what I meant was-”
“no I know what you meant Jack, you think everything’s about you and everything is always my fault” she challenges but hangs up. Tossing her phone onto the carpet below her and putting her hands over her face.
“Belle, what happened?” Mark asks as he enters the room, while tears are brimming her eyes.
“Jack called me, he’s so mad I didn’t think he would care” she whispers and stands up, while he pulls her into a hug.
“It’s okay, he’ll come around alright? I’ll get Luke to talk to him”
“Thank you” she sighs and the two lay down on her bed.
“I liked your album, a lot, but I need a name and address of the whoever running for the hills is about because holy, that was rough to listen to”
“his name is max, but he lives in England now” she responds and he huffs, but the two eventually fall asleep.
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kanmom51 · 1 year ago
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JK update 2 November 2023
MV teaser
youtube
I do have thoughts about where this MV is going. Will reserve them to myself (mainly because they are probably all crap, but also because I'm really not able to write full on essays at this moment). If indeed I was on the right track I will share them with you later on. If not, well you'll know, lol.
A couple of things I did notice, well so did everyone else:
We got black swan JK. We know who loves black swan JK.
We get black versus white (JK black, the woman in white).
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Which is interesting, given that JK is being compared to Michael Jackson by many in this MV, and the black and white motif being played (?), when JK and JM did MJ's B&W dance back way then...
Another interesting coincidence?
And we also have this:
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Which is an interesting choice made by JK. Yes. A choice made by JK.
I cannot wait to see what he has install for us.
Tonight show
We're getting JK on the tonight show on 6 Nov 2023.
JK has a super busy week ahead of him, and I guess he'll be off to the US real soon. Because on this coming Monday he has Jimmy Fallon, and then on Wednesday he's on the Today show.
Today show
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Funny thing with this one though.
I really don't think this was that hidden event on JK's promotional calendar. You know, that mysterious unknown for 8 Nov.
This feels like a last minute thing. The Citi concert series was actually concerts going right through summer, last one ending 31 September. Nothing in October. JK was never on that list that was planned and pre-announced months ago. And now suddenly JK's concert on 8 Nov. Just JK's concert announced. Nothing else.
And that makes me wonder what was actually planned for this date and why was it changed around.
JK Golden introduction
youtube
So, what does JK tell us?
That the order of the songs has meaning and was chosen on purpose.
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That what we were saying all along is just that - the album is targeted for the Western market, hence it being in English.
He also said that he will record a song in Korean (when he can) and to look forward to it. I'm wondering if we have a song in Korean waiting for us pre-enlistment.😭😭
His favourite tracks are the main track - Standing next to you, and Hate you. Although he loves them all.
And again showing us how humble he is, lol.
The man stated he wants to be a global pop star. But when he's called that he feels embarrased.
As for Standing next to you:
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"I'll always be with you no matter the situation/conditions".
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Anyway, tomorrow Golden is coming out.
STREAM
STREAM
STREAM
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ssweeterthanfiction · 8 months ago
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Wait for your love.
Content Warnings (for throughout the story not much this chapter tho): Mentions of alcohol and drugs, mental health issues, parental issues, age-gap, billy dunne being toxic but we love him🫶🏼
↳ currently playing ;
New Girl - 1976
0:56 ——•———————— 3:24
↺       <<          ll          >>     ⋮≡
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In the spring of ‘76, a new face emerged on the music scene. With a unique, angelic voice, it didn’t take long for her song “supernatural” to blow up. And now, freshly off a plane from New York to L.A, she was ready to take a chance at stardom.
Karen: “Oh yea, we had all heard of her. She has a great voice, a great look, personality, she’s just a really good person.”
Eddie: “Hm? Oh, her…yea she was great. Talented singer, yea…”
Graham: “Warren said he had known her as a kid, no one believed him of course.”
Warren: “I’ve known her since forever. Our moms used to be really good friends. Met in college I think. But yea, really talented girl.”
Daisy: “Fucking amazing. Super talented, and just such a beautiful person to be around.”
Billy: “She’s great, talented, pretty. There really isn’t enough words to describe her. But she is…something.”
Graham: “We were working on the new album, and with Daisy as the new edition, things were going…semi-smoothly. Til the label said we should add a feature. Billy of course didn’t think we needed another edition, but everyone else as always went against what he thought. And Warren said he knew someone that would be perfect. After one phone call, he said we had our feature, and that she would be arriving in a few days…That next afternoon she walked into the studio…and I’m not going to lie…I thought Priscilla fucking Presley had walked into our studio.”
‿︵‿︵୨˚̣̣̣͙୧ - - ୨˚̣̣̣͙୧‿︵‿︵
It was a warm spring day. The skies were clear and the sun shined brightly. You stood outside of the studio, your future in the industry relied on this feature. At least that’s what you told yourself.
Taking a deep breath, smoothing out your dress, you walked in. Looking around for a second you took in the new environment. Then you saw the band. Daisy Jones and The Six. Shaking off your nerves you walked over to them. Right as you were about to say something. The guitarist looked at you. “You lost sweetheart?” he said as he put his guitar down.
“I don’t think I am. This is the Six’s studio right?” you say looking around again. “I’m (y/n), Warren called me for-“
“(y/n)!” Warren called out, walking over to you and giving you a hug. “I didn’t think you’d be here so soon.” laughing as he ruffles your hair. “Well when you called it sounded urgent so I hopped on the first flight out.” you say, nudging his arm away.
Warren rolls his eyes and laughs. “Well let me introduce you to everybody, this is Graham, that’s Karen, Eddie, Daisy’s over there, and Billy…is somewhere around here.” You smile at everyone. “It’s so nice to meet you all, I can’t wait to work with you guys.”
It all felt right to you. This feature is what was going to bring you to fame.
“You’re the girl that wrote ‘supernatural’, right?” you hear Karen say. “Yes, yes I did” you say proudly. “It’s a great song, you’ve got a great voice” she says with a smile.
You felt happy. This. This is what you’ve wanted your whole life. To be known for your music. And right as you were about to thank her, a man in an all denim outfit walked into the room. It was clear he was hungover or something.
“Look who finally decided to show up.” you hear Eddie mumble under his breath. “Fuck you say Roundtree?” the man says as he glares at Eddie. Eddie scoffs and rolls his eyes, clearly not wanting to argue. “That’s what I thought.” the man says. Finally, he acknowledges your presence. He looks at you up and down, going from your white gogo boots to your eyes. You felt a weird feeling in your stomach. You couldn’t tell if it was butterflies or if it was something else, you felt drawn to him. But some little voice in your head was screaming that this was bound to go wrong.
“(y/n), this is Billy Dunne, Graham’s brother. Billy, this is (y/n)(l/n), our new feature.” Warren says as he lights a cigarette.
Billy looks you up and down again. “This is our new feature?” he says, skepticism filling his voice. “We’re writing a rock album, not pop.” He walks closer to you, the smell of alcohol, cigarettes, and cologne radiating off of him. Warren takes a drag of his cigarette. “Give her a chance, she has a great voice.”
Billy looked irritated, he already had to add Daisy as an official member, and now here you were. He rolls his eyes. “Fine whatever” he mutters under his breath.
Just like that, you were officially going to be a feature for their album. And now you were a part of the life of Billy fucking Dunne.
Finally the first chapter is up!! I hope u guys liked it, (ik it’s not the best but i’m going to get better trust🙏) took me a while to get it up because I just kept trying to figure out how to like set the stage but I figured this would be the best way. Anyways apologies for it being so short and for taking so long to upload it but next chapter should be a tad bit longer since you guys will get to see the interviews from reader :) but yea hope u guys enjoyed 🫶🏼
btw does anyone have any idea at what kinda nickname to give reader? i cannot think of anything😭 if u guys have any ideas send me them through my asks! (i think it’s open)
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folkwhore1998 · 2 months ago
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All I do is try try try
I will literally never forget the first time I listened to folklore. I went for a walk around the pond outside in my neighborhood and it was cold as hell. It was such a vibe you guys. I would do anything to be able to listen to this album again. Take me to the ponds where all the poets went to die.
It is so different than anything else Taylor Swift has ever done honestly. I feel it is the lyricism of Last Kiss and All Too Well but they were introduced to depression and anxiety. Am I wrong? It is hard for me to say it is an album that divided our fandom because it brought in so many fans, but i also feel there are a lot of fans who prefer other albums over folklore.
I can totally see why and how folklore brought in so many new fans. #1 It is a completely new sound from Taylor (which is how I can maybe see why some people were divided) #2 We were all depressed during COVID and this album was a really good friend to so many people during this time. #3 It took people by surprise because there was no promo for the album. She just said "Here!" I think that there was a lot of curiosity that came with the release which brought in new listeners.
There are two songs on this album I will ride at dawn for: hoax and peace
YOU KNEW THE PASSWORD SO I LET YOU IN THE DOOR. YOU KNEW YOU WON SO WHATS THE POINT OF KEEPING SCORE? I'll admit, I was not always a hoax truther. It just didn't click. But one day I had the album on shuffle and there was a switch that was flipped in my brain and wow it is just so good. Like hello? DID YOU HEAR WHAT SHE SAID?
Peace is such a vulnerable song and we don't talk about that enough. It is like asking am I going to be good enough? but so much more than that. Taylor is a well loved celebrity and it isn't something she cannot change about herself. It is a major part who she is. "Will you accept the intrusive parts of myself and my life that I will never ever be able to change? I would literally die for you and I love your family as my own and I would do anything for you, but is my love enough? I'd also like to talk about epiphany. I personally don't relate to it a lot and I don't listen to it a lot, but I recently saw a video of someone saying "it's the worst song she's ever written" which absolutely infuriated me. Did I rank it last? Yes. I rank everything on how I personally connect with the song, not in terms of "I think this is a bad song." Just because I don't connect, does not mean it is a bad song. It is actually an incredibly deep song that I think resonates with a lot of medical professionals as well as people who lost loved ones during COVID. It talks about a loss so unfathomable or event so traumatic that you literally can't speak about it. And for someone to say it's the worst song she's ever written is honestly senseless and offensive and infuriating. (Respectfully)
☆ Fun fact: Whenever I am showing folklore to someone for the first time, I always play the LPSS version. The vocals are so raw and I feel like you can really feel the lyrics differently, and you can really hear what she just- which I find to be extremely important with this album.
Here are my rankings of
folklore:
illicit affairs
the 1
my tears ricochet
this is me trying
august
peace
betty
hoax
cardigan
mirrorball
the lakes
mad woman
seven
exile (the live version is a different story...one of her best performances)
invisible string
the last great american dynasty
epiphany
Folklore era favs:
youtube
lol
youtube
MAGICAL
youtube
actually sobbing. everything about this. they're all so appreciative and proud. sidenote: one of her best looks ever. dare I say it's my favorite?
youtube
no notes.
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if you know, you know.
Yes.. I know we need to get through Fall, but it's never too soon to start planning. Taylor said so!
☆ Here is the direct link to the folklore cardigan Christmas ornaments pictured above:
☆ Here is the direct link to the folklore stocking pictured above:
@taylornation @taylorswift
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yonduismarrypoppins · 1 year ago
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Kickback
Summary; “Was at a kickback playing spades. Didn't even know her, Jamaican with pretty eyes. She came over and asked if I would teach her how to play. I was like yeah she sat on my lap and next thing i know i was in a two year relationship. She still doesn't know how to play.”
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Photos aren't mine, credit to the og owners
Warnings: mentions of alcohol but nobody's drinking, reader isn't necessarily Jamaican but imagine them however you want. Jack is down bad, as he should be. This is kinda self indulgent and I can't write endings, my apologies.
A/N: I was watching the ShxtsnGigs Podcast for inspo and the second I heard this tweet I had to write it.
Wrote this for @webinurcloset btw
I DO NOT GIVE ANYONE PERMISSION TO REPOST OR TRANSLATE AND REPOST, THIS IS MY WRITING! DO NOT FEED MY WORK INTO ANY AI BOT.
I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR MEDIA CONSUMPTION, THIS IS AN 18+ BLOG MAKING THIS 18+ CONTENT. MOVE ON MINORS.
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Druski had sent a text to Urban about a last minute party, only 15 people or so. Jack decided that hanging out with some friends wouldn't be too bad, especially after the release of his newest album. He put on a simple white tank top, jeans, his glasses, his ‘Private Garden’ ring and some white new balance sneakers.
He waited in the car for Urban to finish getting ready, looking through his phone in the driver's seat making sure he had the address. He then checked out Druskis' story to see if he knew anyone else there, he noticed the house. The perfect place for a chill party, he thought. He stopped at a clip of you laughing your ass off when someone's soda exploded. Clicking on the right side of his screen for what felt like the thousandth time in a row just to hear your laugh over and over again, ‘typa’ shit people write songs about’, he thought.
The passenger door suddenly opened and shut “Aight, lets go.” Jack quickly hit the power button on the side of his phone, shoving it in his pocket “Word”.
The drive was quick, only making one stop for gas and some candy.
Once they arrived Urban made a beeline for the living room in the form of a conversation pit. He watched as Urban carefully made his way down the ramp, dapping Druski up before sitting down. Jack took a second to admire the house and headed to the kitchen. He searched the fridge, pleasantly surprised at the lack of alcohol he grabbed a ‘Sprite’ and walked towards the two seater couch in the corner, surrounded by windows. Not much light came through due to the night sky but the stars were beautiful regardless. Once again he found himself on his phone, scrolling aimlessly before he was interrupted.
“Hey man” he looked up, finding the source of the voice to be Urban “We ‘finna play cards, want in?” “Sure” he stood. “What are we playing?” “Spades”.
As he made his way down the ramp he noticed you, isolated in the corner laughing in Druskis' general direction. He made his way in front of you, “Can I?” he pointed towards the seat next to you. You looked up at him and nodded with a smile, and pulled your blanket onto your lap. He maneuvered around the tables and sat down, placing his can in front of him. He turned to you and held out his hand, “I'm Jack, you?” you chuckled, “I know who you are, it's nice to meet you”. You shook his hand. “How are you liking the party so far?” “It's cool, this house is awesome. I thought you couldn't get conversation pits any more.” you smiled “you can't, I had to get it built after I bought the house”
Jack took a second to process your words “this is your place?” “yes” Jack turned his body towards you “damn, you got good taste” your smile still had not faltered “thank you”.
Your little bubble popped when an empty ‘Coke Can’ hit Jack's shoulder. “Hey, you still gon’ play?” Jack turned to face the table and leaned forward “Yea, deal me in” he turned back to you “you playin’? “I don't know how” he smiled slyly, “I'll teach you” you leaned forward and rested your head on his shoulder “ok”.
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Two Years Later
You were sitting outside, cuddled with your favorite blanket talking to Druski, Urban and his girl, Sunny and Cozane when Jackman walked out of the back door. “I found the pickle chips!”
Everyone around the fire pit broke out in ‘horrays’ while you smiled. Jack made a beeline towards you, handing off the large green bag before sitting down and pulling you into his lap. He looked down at you with so much love, “You havin’ fun baby?”. You smiled up at him and responded “Yes” before leaning up to kiss him. After a solid 15 seconds there was a chorus of gags and other expressions of disgust that made you both giggle before separating and facing the other people around the fire. “Oh shut up y'all are cute” Urbans girl said, she was always sweet to you even though you'd only known each other for a few months when she started dating Urban.
“Aight’ enough of this, who wants to play spades?” Druski said, pulling a deck of cards out of his pants pocket. “How are we gonna play spades around a fire?” Sunny said quizzically. “I don't know, yall are ruining the vibe, y/n play with me right quick” “I cant play spades” you said, everyone looked at you, Jack looked down at you and said “I thought i taught you the night we met?” Your smile brightened tenfold, “you tried to but I honestly wasn't paying attention.” You’ll tell him the reason another day, deciding that a spontaneous ego boost might not be what this moment needs. Jack smiled and laughed along with everyone else in the yard.
In that moment Jack thought about how glad he was to have sat next to you that night and to be sitting next to you now, he also reminded himself to actually teach you how to play cards.
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I wrote something I'm kinda proud of, what!!??!?!? In other news, would yall be ok if I wrote for marvel and obx? I'm hyperfixating rn and i need an excuse to get m ideas out, i might have you guys vote on what I should write next 😏
Also if you want to be on my Taglist tell me pls.
Taglist
@floriidakilos
@zendayassimp
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earlgreytea68 · 7 months ago
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hi egt
what fob songs scream hiatus to you?
i need to experience emotional ruin real quick
God, there are so many, like, basically allll of Save Rock and Roll feels like them working through the hiatus together (not least because of how it has a higher percentage of Patrick lyrics than usual, probably because of him coming off his solo work). But the hiatus loomed so large for them as this nuclear blast in their relationship, it seems to bleed all through Pete's words (and hence their songs) for years afterward.
And it actually even starts before the hiatus, with the "What a Catch, Donnie" music video, which is the most hiatus-y thing to ever hiatus, Pete going down with his ship while he sends everyone else away to party without him. IT'S ALL SO SYMBOLIC.
And then to title a song on the first Believers Never Die album "From Now On, We Are Enemies." WHAT THE HELL hahahahaha WHAT A CHOICE, PETE WENTZ. (a downward spiral, just a pirouette and I only what what I can't have -- wanting what you can't have is a total hiatus theme for me that shows up a bunch in Pete's lyrics. I have not done an empirical analysis to see if it's a more prevalent theme after the hiatus or not.)
"The Phoenix" has obvious symbolism for their life as a band, raising their career from the ashes, changing themselves up like a remix, wearing their vintage of misery better than everyone else. Also, I love the imagery it has of peace, the "release the doves, surrender love" bit. Waving the white flag and putting down your weapons (in contrast to put on your war paint). But I've always kind of felt like surrender love is one of Pete's deliberate ambiguities: It could be "surrender your love" but it could also be "surrender, love." And Pete doesn't often use "love" as a term of endearment in his lyrics but he called Patrick "love" on stage not too long ago, so, you know, it seems not too outside the realm of possibility to think that these are really lines about reconciliation. It feels like time is running out, so let's surrender and hold tight.
Then there's "Alone Together": I'm outside the door, invite me in so we can go back and play pretend. The image of playing pretend / make-believe with someone also recurs in Pete's poetry, and it's something else I always read as Patrick-coded. Who did he used to "pretend" with for the sake of the shippers? And, of course, starting at the end of the road to ruin sounds like people who have burned everything down but are finding their way back.
I wrote a whole fic about "Where Did the Party Go" :-)
What is there to say about "Miss Missing You" that hasn't already been said? The infamous "hot whiskey eyes" line that honestly can only be about Pete Wentz lol. The imagery of the person you'd take a bullet for being behind the trigger: they have both at separate points in time proclaimed their readiness to take a bullet for the other. The fact that Pete wrote in a poem once before the hiatus I miss you missing me, and this song is I miss missing you. Like, everyone just die over this song.
To me "The Kids Aren't Alright" is a hiatus song in that it's about surviving the hiatus, coming through it, reversing the curse, it's our time now if you want it to be, in the end, I'd do it all again, I think you're my best friend.
"Fourth of July" is another hiatus song for me, the reference to the burned bridges being the light that leads you home is just so hiatus-y. Also, the torture of small talk with someone you used to love just smacks of the hiatus, of how they stopped talking to each other, of how they knew so little about each other and had to start over. This is more wanting what you can't have, too: my favorite what-if, my best I'll-never-know. I said I'd never miss you. I wish I'd known how much you loved me. It's so much, this song lol
Twin Skeleton's: ouch. This song is so painful. This song scrapes over your skin like sandpaper. This song is so angry and bitter. This song is I need a new partner in crime and you shrug. oh my GOD that line kills me every single time. That one and the way Patrick snarls, I could just die laughing on your spiral of shame. This is an angry song, but the anger is born of a depth of emotion and it ends with Patrick promising hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on over and over, and that's what makes it extra-hiatus to me, like, hold on, it all gets better, I'm coming back, hold on, hold on, hold on...
I find the hiatus infects their songs less and less the farther they get away from it, which is good. It's healing. As we've discussed, they've almost forgotten the whole thing even happened, it's been blurred over by the sands of time.
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humornaut · 5 months ago
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hi!! i’m a relatively new omori fan (a brainrotted fan, however, with 140 hours in the game so far… and 98% completion bc i lost to the recyclepath.. -_-) anyway, i love your analysis posts, you’ve clearly studied the details of this game very well!!
i was hoping to ask about the timeline of white space and headspace creation, if you have the time and would like to! my roommate and i played together and have tried to piece it together a few times over the four playthroughs we’ve done (two of each route), but there are still some details that seem contradictory to me. i’m sorry if this is obvious though!
so the transcript of the truth album says “you sink into a crevice in your mind… an empty white room” so i initially assumed white space was created on the day of the incident, in that dissociative state while mari was in the bed. you also see this in the sequence after three days left before going back into headspace where it’s sunny and basil in front of the door, then sunny in white space, then the manifestation of omori. of course, we’ve also been told “you’ve been living here for as long as you can remember”, but we can assume the “you” is omori instead of sunny, which makes sense if he was created in white space
however. in the lost library we see that sunny used to explore headspace during school, presumably before the incident, and daddy longlegs says “in the beginning, there only existed two... the dreamer and his room” and then “the dreamer grew weary of his room and created a door that led to many different worlds”, referring to white space and headspace, so white space existed first. so white space existed before the incident.
so then the white space reference from the truth album is maybe about the manifestation of omori, instead of the creation of white space. i think the outfit sunny’s wearing in the omori cut scene is also the same as from the day of the incident (the black tshirt & shorts). so presumably (before the incident), sunny used to explore headspace as sunny instead of as omori.
daddy longlegs then goes on to talk about black space, and how omori was created to let sunny “ascend to a blissful state of ignorance” and “forget himself” (this also prompts an interesting question of how sentient omori is — because he’s the protector (& knows enough to be willing to kill basil) but he’s also “ignorant of his own fabrication”, according to daddy longlegs, but i guess that’s another matter entirely!) black space was created in response to trauma, so that again supports the idea that omori was manifested after the incident.
so then white space. a place to survive but not to live. the black lightbulb is the repression of an idea, ie, the lightbulb was created after the incident. but sure, white space can exist without the lightbulb. my question then is, why did sunny need a place to survive before then? we could say that dissociation has always been his go-to reaction in stressful situations, and that’s why. but he was also in white space long enough to get bored of it, enough to conjure headspace.
we have a few vague clues that sunny & mari’s home life could have been bad, but nothing concrete. and personally, i’m of the opinion that his life being more or less ideal to begin with enhances the tragedy of the story (as well as him and basil having opposite tragedies, as i saw someone else point out — sunny’s being that he was already very much loved & cared for, so it’s worse when it’s taken away, basil’s that he never had that in the first place), but i guess that’s up to interpretation. other than home life issues then, just the stress of the violin? general developmental issues? depression? something else?
i’d be super curious to hear what you think (again, if you have the time)… thank you! :)
Hi there! Sorry about how long this took me, I've had a lot going on + I actually wrote a whole long response that took me like a week of on and off working, and then I accidentally shut off my computer and lost the whole thing :(
I want to start this off with a couple disclaimers: Omori intentionally keeps its timeline close to its chest (presumably to add to the game's feelings of unease and the mystery of it all) AND we see evidence throughout the game that during Omori's long development cycle, it saw multiple changes to its story that ultimately makes the game's timeline a little inconsistent in a way that doesn't really matter.
I think I don't really have to explain the first point to you, but it will be relevant when talking about Headspace, because the game doesn't even commit to Headspace being purely a dream, as there are plenty of indications throughout it that it could be something a bit more supernatural.
However, I do want to elaborate on my second point there, mostly because this is something that I've wanted to talk about for awhile, and what better time to bring it up than when we are talking about the timeline! So:
How Old is Hero Omori?
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I swear this is an actually interesting question
It might seem silly to ask this, considering the game actually tells us how old he is in Headspace, but stick with me.
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Based on this line, Hero (and presumably Mari) are 15 pre-canon, while the rest of the group turns 12 during the year of the album (except Kel, who would've turned 12 prior to Basil getting the album).
So let's take the time skip into account. When we first meet real world Aubrey, she says this:
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After this point, the game tends to stick to the time skip being four years whenever it comes up. But this isn't technically true! Even accounting for the months after the incident that Sunny continued going outside for, the incident happened in October, while Sunny comes out again during the summer. Most likely, we're actually looking at around 3 and a half years, with Sunny coming back outside the summer that he would turn 16. Since we are presumably at the beginning of the summer, with Hero just now coming home from college, Sunny would actually be 15, at least during the main portion of the game, though once he's in the hospital, it appears some time has passed so that school has now started back up.
Why does this matter? Well, based on this timeline with Hero being 15 in the photo album, he should have turned 19 the January prior to the game's main events, and this is what most people see as canon. However, within the United States, most people, unless they graduate early or late, will leave High School the year they turn 18, meaning most people turn 19 during their first year at college (if they attend).
At first glance, this doesn't seem to be an issue, but we know for a fact that Hero has actually been away at college for two years, due to this interaction:
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This is the second summer that Hero has returned from college! He should be 20! Now Hero is a bit of an overachiever, so it is possible that what is actually happening here is that he graduated early, but I doubt that due to what we know about how Hero reacted to Mari's death.
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For that first year, even if Hero was technically going to school, he certainly wasn't excelling at it. By the time he gets to the state we see him in-game, he has maybe a year to a year and a half left of schooling. I'm really not sure that I can buy Hero graduating early, regardless of how well he does from that point on.
I also want to acknowledge that the game could simply take place ~4 1/2 years, rather than 3 1/2. There's no reason not to go with this, other than it would mean that the younger four are actually 17 during the game. You are free to believe this instead, but I am going to go into what I actually think is going here next.
We know that the characters got younger during development. We actually have an older version of the photo album, in which instead of saying that Sunny was turning 12, it says 13. Why did this happen?
Let's take a look at Aubrey's recollection of what happened following Mari's death:
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For reference, this is part of what she says at the tree stump during One Day Left.
Her words here imply that she wasn't actually aware about how bad it was for Hero, and most of the fandom typically just leaves it at that.
But that's weird, right? Look at what she says. It seems like she did HAVE a reason for why Hero wasn't available, it was just incorrect. And what's more, this is definitely how Hero would've been after his year of very much not studying. There's no reason that Aubrey would believe that Hero reacted to Mari's death in this way unless it was true, especially since it is something that would later be true.
I also want to point out that Kel's talk in the cemetery in which he tells us how Hero reacted to Mari's death is entirely optional and disconnected from the actual main story cutscenes in the real world.
To bring this full circle, I also want to point out a mechanic that was added to the game VERY late in development:
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You might see where I'm going with this.
Here's my theory. Originally, Hero would not have reacted to Mari's death with staying in bed for a year in a depressed state. Instead, he would've immediately become lost in his studies as a coping mechanism. However, when the team had the idea for the emotions chart, they likely realized that while happy and angry fit Kel and Aubrey's coping methods respectively quite well, Hero did not seem to fit sadness all that well at all.
In order to make Hero fit sadness, they change his story so that he stayed in a depressed state for a year, but they don't remove his original story of getting lost in his schoolwork. After all, they already had the writing and art assets finished and the game had already been in development for a long time. So instead of doing any major rewrites of the actual script, they simply add a single cutscene in the graveyard that doesn't seem to contradict anything that lets us know that this is how Hero reacted!
Then they had another problem. If Hero spent a year not caring about school, how would he have graduated on time? It would've been difficult even for an overachiever to do two years of schooling in one year. This is an easy fix as well! All you have to do is go through the very few instances of characters' ages being mentioned, and make everyone a year younger! It would've been a lot easier for Hero to catch up and excel if he had an additional year to do so after the incident with Kel! It also gives us another instance of a character getting overwhelmed and angry and pushing someone they care about, which we see multiple times! It works really well, and I like it a lot, but I haven't been able to unsee this change being made ever since the first time I thought of it. The minor line of dialogue about the hero sandwich that reveals Hero has been in college for two years would have been overlooked, since it doesn't mention his age, and likely would've been forgotten due to its unimportance. Aubrey's line, while wrong, can also still be explained away by her simply not being in the know about how Hero really reacted to Mari's death.
I'm not saying this is definitely what happened, but this theory does explain that one tiny little inconsistency that we see in the game. Could also be nothing though idk I'm not perfect
SO
The timeline of the creation of Headspace, White Space, and Black Space! The thing you actually asked about and care about!
It's a little difficult to actually place a lot of things here. Headspace is already so vague. We can use Daddy Longlegs' explanation as a general guide, but it's still difficult to figure out how it lines up with the between night cutscenes, as well as some of the other things.
What I can say is that Omocat has explained Sunny's dream worlds as a very real reaction to trauma that some people have. From this perspective, it would've always existed in some form.
In regards to the truth album line about sinking into the empty room, it's important to keep in mind that nothing there (unless I am super mistaken) implies that this is the first time that Sunny has been there, only that it is happening in that moment. In fact, I find the use of the term "sink" to be very interesting in this context, because very recently prior to the end of the photo album and the incident itself, Sunny had another very traumatic experience when he nearly drowned at the lake. This incident is also very important because many of the traumas that we see from Sunny in game come from this incident. He is still extremely scared of heights, spiders, and drowning by the time the game happens. I don't think it is out of the realm of possibility that White Space was initially created as a response to that, assuming that it didn't already exist for Sunny's entire life.
Next! Headspace, as I understand it, refers specifically to the dream world that Sunny created by merging a bunch of different dream worlds together in order to hide away Black Space, as told by Daddy Longlegs. What we see in the school day memory isn't Sunny exploring Headspace, rather it is just establishing that Sunny has always had a creative and wandering mind, which is why he was able to create Headspace as a coping method in the first place.
The "you've been living here for as long as you can remember" line can also mean many things! It can refer to Omori, as you said, or it could refer to Sunny always having White Space to some extent, OR (and I find this to be the most likely answer) that regardless of how long Sunny has actually had White Space, his repression of ALL his memories both the good and the bad mean that this is literally all he can remember!
All of this is to say: I don't really know. I'm really sorry about that, I've typed this up multiple times trying to come up with a satisfying timeline that I can actually point at evidence for. I believe that Sunny probably had access to White Space before the incident itself, but Headspace probably only became necessary to form out of his different dreamworlds and fantasies after the incident. He was always creative, so he always had creative dreams, but Headspace itself was almost assuredly a post-incident creation.
I apologize that this probably wasn't the answer you were looking for. There might be an answer in there somewhere, but I hope I've shown here how trying to come up with a definitive timeline for Omori can create issues.
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