#or dont do enough lore or dont do things the way they want
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the tadpole/brain damage thing. its like. chekovs gun to me. obviously theres very little mechanical support ingame for having a disabling injury, aside from maybe an optional voluntary decision to drop the INT score, but similarly to choosing to write intention into the lack of dark urge Lore responses from the party, i just like to make mountains out of molehills and force game mechanics into In Universe Character Problems
like when dirge repeatedly mentions that he thinks the tadpole is doing something beneficial for him, that its helping him, it isnt JUST the power-hungry psionic ambition in him. its a parasite, that needs a host. it needs a LIVING host, or its own chances of survival plummet. and dirge gets tadpoled right after a life threatening injury to the tadpoles preferred habitat. neither of them want to die!! dirges body tries to recover, but cant in part BECAUSE of the tadpole (the netherese stasis magic rejecting outside influence and binding it to its host, having an unejectable foreign object in the injury site, etc), but its not like the tadpole WANTS its host to have a life altering injury
its not like its malicious (except when it comes to Hive Activity, and then it can be a right bastard), it just cant live any other way. it cant help what it is. halsin calls the illithid life cycle abberant and unnatural, but brood parasitism exists throughout the natural kingdom. is the wasp egg evil for having been laid in a caterpillar?
its first moments of life outside the brine pool, and its new home, its new life, its host, its caregiver, its food supply, is bleeding and dying and falling apart and trying to fix itself but cant and its trying to heal around you but it cant but if it doesnt do anything youll both die, so this larva, this tiny worm of psionic potential and instinct, does what it can. holds its host together with whatever force it can muster, soft gelatinous body (perfect for compreesing flat and squeezing through small orifice openings) keratinizing outside the acidic environment of the brine, its four oral tentacles (its only source of motion and movement when so young and soft, dragging itself along as best it can) made for interweaving with dense synapse clusters to passively absorb the psionic imprint of its host, now desperately intwined with bleeding meat just to try and hold it all together. driven by survival instict and a vessel of psychic potential, forced into passivity by the commands of the Elder, further forced by circumstance to leverage all its great gifts to keep its host standing long enough to eventually eat
my thought is that the reason why dirge still gets the cutscene of the emperor tadpoling him at the beginning of the game, is that the original tadpole orin forced on him is just so weakened and exhausted by months of effort trying to keep him alive through kressas experiments and meddling, that the emperor, currently in thrall to the absolute, feels the need to replace it with a fresher healthier specimen, which then cannibalizes and absorbs the previous one, and then just has to go back to doing the same shit as the last one.
i think that dirges tadpole isnt as twitchy or squirmy as the others because of it. that when omeluum gives him a psychic MRI, the tadpole is just burrowed down and its tendrils stretched like a dense net throughout dirges brain tissue, only moving or writhing occasionally but definitely not as mobile as usual, its web of tendrils especially twisted near dense scar tissue at the back of his head. this worm is already so fucking weird and the circumstances for this mind flayer MRI have already introduced a bajillion different variables that need accounting for, that i dont think omeluum immediately groks the specifics of whats going on but CAN peg the "you have brain damage and your worm is fucking Weird" situation fairly easily. but i dont think it gets enough time in dirges head to get a full understanding of what the tadpole is doing FOR him
cuz like. imo its definitely objectively helping. its a psychic information bank specifically designed to interface with a human brain. the reason why dirge isnt experiencing too many of the side effects of brain damage is because the parasite is doing its best to mitigate them. memory issues, brain fog, disorientation and balancing issues, theyd all be significantly worse without the parasite. when he brings up how he feels its helping him, objectively hes right and its not even the kickass psychic powers hes right about.
like it doesnt cure EVERYTHING, he has chronic migraines that are sensitive to light, and before he asks halsin to make medicine, he starts every morning puking his guts out when the morning sun makes him so nauseous he cant hold dinner down. even without the Urge Nightmares, he has insomnia and just cant meaningfully sleep. but keeping track of what day it is, remembering what happened a few hours ago or the other day, standing up from a sitting position and not immediately wobbling and/or collapsing, retaining his old muscle memory. all shit the parasite is helping with
which is why i cant help but fixate on those moments immediately after defeating the absolute. like oh thats juicy
#bg3 durge#bg3#bg3 dark urge#bg3 the dark urge#durge#the dark urge#long post#dirgecore#dirgeposting#god. visibility tags DONE time for tag RAMBLES#anyways permanently disabled dirge my BELOVEDDDDDD#also makes mintharas hypocricsy more enjoyable. because like i feel like she places a lot of value in effort and ability#so when someone is disabled i feel like she interprets that as a weakness of will to not find a way to thrive or persevere regardless#but just straight up makes an exception in that logic for dirge#because she KNOWS him and knows WHY hes disabled and why there isnt much to be done for it.#so its not his fault and he does enough and he shouldnt blame himself. everyone ELSE tho#shes very much a ''i wouldnt let it stop me'' kind of person. except when it very much does stop dirge but its fine cuz hes her slayer#she does this logical leap for things a lot. like when shes fond of someone or something she suspends a lot of her more critical beliefs#wizards are stupid and blow themselves up. except for you 💜 if ur dumb enough to get betrayed u probably deserved it. except for karlach 💜#if you dont push through ur injuries ur lowkey bitchmade. except for MY special little guy 💜💜💜#nuanced evil lovergirl my FAAAAAAAVE
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If you guys could show Baghera some love, that would be great! She, Etoiles, and Felps have all been receiving a lot of harassment in their chats lately, but Baghera in particular has been really affected by it.
Please show her your support and tell her how much she's appreciated!
#mod post#QSMP#Baghera#TBD#Forever and Cellbit discussed ways to deal with it#and it seems like Forever and the mods are gonna go in and start mass banning people#and then cross-ban them on Cellbit's channel#but in the meantime please show Baghera support#and Etoiles and Felps too!#the context is so dumb its just people complaining that they arent good enough#or dont do enough lore or dont do things the way they want#and took the spot of someone ''who deserved it more''#You know. Typical stupid backseater stuff#But it's still awful#I hope all the QSMP members do the Phil method and cross ban all these idiots from EVERYONE'S chats#temporary post#I'll delete this later but seeing Baghera post this made me really sad
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act 4 :(
@chipper-smol and i came to a realization
#THID FUCKING GAAAAAAAMMMMEEEEE#i have more i wanna draw but my hands not working orz.. maybe ill get around to it later idk#i finally FINALLY managed to get inside that star room.. my own clone!! now neither of us will be virgins!!!!#i dont have anything to go off of but when the journal mentions making another 'me' it reminds me of loop saying theyre like a mirror#theyre always able to read siffrins mind without actually reading their mind (or so they say) but maybe it could just be tone matching???#or smth like that.. idk if these two things are connected though so maybe its more like subtext#i hope im not the only one who made the childrens hospital joke when it came around to color lore part 2#im also getting the sinking feeling of watching siffrin toe his way near the deep end like bro is so so close to losing it#i feel like if i knew nothing abt the game beforehand and why siffrin is looping in the first place my feelings abt this would be different#cuz id be pretty angry too if ive been stuck in a loop long enough to feel like everyone around me is pretending nothings wrong#than the fact that i have decided not to disclose im in a time loop and that everyone is living this day for the first time#although i also get hes doing this for a reason and when u believe in the universe i guess it also comes with sunk cost fallacy#'this is the path the universe led me down before i even knew what i wanted so all i can do is double down' THATS THE FATALISM TALKING#puppy plays isat#in stars and time#isat#isat spoilers#isat act 3 spoilers#isat act 4 spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#sona#puppysona#friends#chipper#doodles
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finally finished all of one character's entire quests/optional dialogue/questions/etc.... 100,000 words... .... aughhh
#Given some of it IS lines of code and stuff but like.. minus all that it's still probably at least 85 - 95k words hhhhhh#AND I have to do this for another 3 characters. Then a few partial quests for 3 others. THEN the other random misc stuff in the game#(like there are public areas in the city like a park and a forest that you can go and do a few things at. and chat with a few random#townsfolk that aren't actually full characters or anything. And there's a community board where you can#browse some of the random job advertisments or silly things that happen to be posted around#and also pick up a few odd jobs of your own to help earn coin to buy gifts for the npcs. etc. etc.)#Originally I was thinking like 'ah I'll make a short little game just to try it out! :3 It'll take maybe a few months!''#haha........................hee hee........................................hoho#Also evil that it would have been done already if I didn't totally drop itand stop working on it for like 5 years randomly#i could have made 5 years of steady slow progress gradually. instead of like 'one initial idea dump + about a month of art and writing'#...... 5 year break..... 'sudden mad dash to try to get probably 400.000 words written in a year or less' lol#I just really want to be done and have something out there already so it can lead to doing other things in my world..!!!!!! T o T#Like this can be an introduction and then maybe from that I can make other games. or short story anthologies. or other such things#But there needs to be some initially not very complex easy to interact with starting point first I guess... if that makes sense#That's part of why I stopped posting worldbuilding lore dump stuff as often because its' like.. massive walls of novella length#text are much more inacessible to engage with than like.. ooh a game! and there's characters! so its more approachable! and theres#visuals! oo! and the text is broken up in small bits line by line with other things in betwen! oo! etc. etc. lol#Not that THIS is even very accessible. I think dialogue heavy interactive fiction/visual novel type stuff is pretty niche and considered#boring or tedious compared to something with more ''gamplay'' like where you can actually move around in a world#and shoot things or whatever lol. But its an inbetween point. something SLIGHTLY#more accesible for now. Since i just dont have the budget or means or ability to make some skyrim type thing obviously LOL#Though maybe if theres any interest in the visual novel that could lead to making other things too. or at least I hope. I have a VERY cool#idea for a more ''gamey'' type of game that is a super fun concept and etc. but I would need to hire at least 2 people to make it.. ough..#I could do all the writing and probably half of the art. But I think I'd inevitably need a 3d artist and someone who can Code For Real hbjh#the system for ren'py (the thing I'm making a visual novel in) is not that complicated if you stick to just simple dialogue and stuff.#Making a whole moderately sized 3d game with minigames in it and a bunch of quest features and etc. would be out of my simplistic scope#''just learn it yourself!!' ... i barely manage to eat and sleep reliably every day lol... i do not function well enough to spend months#learning that many new skills. I already have a lot of of things I'm good at (not in a braggy way but just factually like.. i already have#a wide variety of different things under my belt).. at some point I have to just be happy with what i CAN already do and focus on that#and admit I need to get outside help sometimes ghjbh... NO more new skills/hobbies!!! ... ANYWAY
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bashing my fucking adhd riddled head against the wall because i need to fuckin prep this character sheet for tomorrow but executive disfunction is leading into actual dissociation and i just wanna give up. like goddamn i dont wanna play 5e with this dm we're just NOT vibing as people. ugh. thank god for conflicting schedules. just gotta get through tomorrow
#our t#i just wanna focus on the campaigns that actually MATTER to me but this 5e one demands. so fuckin much#theres so much shit to keep track of and its really overwhelming#and the dm didnt lead us in properly at all#we're joining in on a campaign thats already been running for a while and they under the banner of 'being cautious of spoilers'#gave us ABSOLUTELY ZERO CONTEXT for their custom worldstate or their very involved custom lore#OR what happened in the campaign previously w/ the other characters WHICH IS YKNOW THE MOST IMPORTANT THING#so we are literally floundering and i simply dont care enough about this dm (who is virtually a stranger to me) to use my spoons on this#its distracting me from stuff i need and want and would rather otherwise be doing ttrpg ways. idk sorry im just#really fuckin disabled and feeling frustrated about it#'5e is beginner friendly!' liarrrr you are a liarrrr you lied to meee playing 5e for the first time as a pre-leveled LVL6 character#is ADVANCED SHIT and with my learning disability? very literally nearly impossible#if i end up crying at table then i end up crying at table idc idc it'll get me outta the situation#maybe i should just start screaming IM GOING INTO LABOUR#sometimes you gotta ask urself what would jake english do and then seriously consider doing it
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YWDaC: Maybe It’s Not So Fun After All
Hiii here is part 2 of pirate shenanigans I’ll probably do one more to finish this out but it probably won’t be for a while cuz I have some other stuff I wanna work on so enjoy for now ✨
←Previous - Castys Masterlist - Next→
Ingredients: pirate battle, wood splinters in a guy, stitches
The next few weeks were truly a learning experience, and also just an experience. Castys learned far more than he ever thought there was to know about ropes and knots and wind and how to clean things, all while his back slowly hurt less and less. He hadn’t even been whipped that much, but it was still super unfun as an experience, enough to motivate him to be a good little pirate. Well, more like a sailor, they hadn’t done any pirate activities since he was so kindly given a spot on the crew.
And of course when battle did come, he wished he could go right back to the peaceful days of hard labor and yelling.
Kamon had been teaching him to use a sword during their free time, since Castys’s spear wasn’t well suited for combat aboard a crowded ship, but before he even got a chance to use it, the ships had to fire their cannons at each other a bunch. It was loud, somehow way louder than he’d been expecting, and his arms burned from carrying ammunition up from the hold. By the time the fun part started, he was already gonna be exhausted, just great.
His new orders were to take supplies up to the main deck, and he was somehow surprised that there was even more chaos and yelling up here than down below. They were getting pretty close to the other ship now, and it was probably almost time to board them and steal all their shit, which he was actually excited for. Mainly the stealing part.
Just as he set the crate down, there was a loud crack next to him, and his body lit up with all these sharp little pains, like…he looked down, and he was indeed covered in splinters. They were a wonderful variety of sizes, from tiny little ones that weren’t even making him bleed to ones that were as long as his hand, but the worst one had poked completely through his fucking cheek, filling his mouth with the taste of wood and blood, which was a weird combination. Ears ringing, he stumbled away from the destroyed railing, and was just about to start pulling the splinters out before he remembered the medic’s stern warning to not pull splinters out yourself. So he had a cheek piercing for now, hooray.
Before he’d made it back belowdecks, Captain Izogie called for everyone to get ready to board, so nevermind to hauling stuff. Castys pulled out the sword he’d been given, the weight still feeling a little unnatural, but it was all he was gonna get. He saw some dudes climbing up the rigging and swinging over on ropes, but he’d rather just wait and walk over on the plank like a normal person. Was boarding another ship a normal person thing? Okay, really, swinging looked fun, but he didn’t feel like climbing when he was full of holes that were full of wood. Also he didn’t trust himself to land without breaking something.
And then it was his turn to cross the plank, running so he didn’t have time to look down and think about falling into the cold ocean, jumping down into the chaos of the fight, trying his best to weave through the clashing metal and warm spurts of blood, and suddenly he was face-to-face with someone, someone he didn’t recognize, and he raised his sword, but just as he was about to swing he remembered that he’d never fought another human, not for real, and he couldn’t help but hesitate, and they didn’t, they swung, he only jumped back at the last second, it was them or him, he had to fight, remember what he’d learned, remember what it felt like to slice through flesh and hear screams, and it was more familiar once he did it, coming back to him now, his grip steady as he jumped over the body and moved on, belowdecks, rummaging around for valuables, helping his crewmates pry crates open and carry them back to the ship, the wood almost slipping out of his hands, when did they get slick with blood, he wasn’t sure, it was all a haze of back and forth, up and down, fight and slash and stab and dodge and search and carry and he almost walked back across the plank onto the now-sinking ship, all of its contents plundered, all of its crew dead.
The fight was over, and everything hurt.
With shaky hands, he tried to put his sword back in its scabbard, but someone stopped him. “Clean your blade, newbie. And then go see the doc. You look like shit.” Castys nodded, wiping the blood from his sword with his shirt before sheathing it and stumbling belowdecks. Maybe he’d get less of a share of the treasure this way, but at the moment he didn’t care. He just wanted the damn splinters out. And the gash in his arm probably needed stitches, which were always his favorite.
He found Alfyn’s quarters without much trouble, having been there before after he’d been flogged on his first day. The healer was busy tending to people with more pressing wounds, so Castys just sat on the floor and watched. Alfyn’s healing magic was so strange to watch, the way he could just hold his hands out and make flesh rejoin the other flesh super unfamiliar to Castys. Neither of them could use magic back on the islands, so the whole concept was sorta new to him, especially this weird healing stuff. His fingers teased with the splinter through his cheek, wiggling it against his tongue. It would be kinda funny to pull it out and then try to squirt water out of the hole in his cheek, but that would require pulling it out and then finding water and also someone who would think he was funny, which sounded like a lot, so he settled for fucking with it and waiting for Alfyn.
By the time he got to him, Alfyn’s nose was plugged with a rag that was either completely soaked in blood or just red, but maybe it was red because it had been soaked in blood before. He looked Castys up and down, and Castys showed off his arm gash since it was very painful. Alfyn nodded, beckoning Castys to stand. “Nothing you’ve got’s pressing enough to use my magic on, but I’ll still get you fixed up. You’re…Castys, right?”
“That’s my name.” Castys sat on the little table, the spots of blood on it soaking into his pants, which kind of sucked, but what wasn’t dirty on this ship, anyway? “So why can’t I take out the splinters myself?”
Alfyn laughed a little, coming back over with tweezers and a metal bucket that had a bunch of other splinters in it. “I don’t trust you lot to get them out completely. If you do it wrong, little bits can get left behind.” He then started pulling out Castys’s splinters the right way, which seemed to be to do it slow and to use tweezers, but Castys could be wrong since he was a little distracted by all of his little wounds hurting all over again. Alfyn did the one in his cheek last, and once it was out Castys poked at the hole left behind with his tongue despite the pain, which got a sigh out of Alfyn instead of a laugh.
“Please don’t make the wound worse, Castys.”
“Sorry.” He was then a very still and patient and well-behaved boy while Alfyn cleaned all of his wounds, arm gash included. Whatever liquid Alfyn was pouring on everything stung a lot, but he sat still so he didn’t make things more difficult for Alfyn, who looked really damn tired now that Castys was paying attention.
“Alright, your arm and cheek are going to need stitches, so please keep holding still like you’ve been doing.”
“They used to call me statue boy.” Kind of funny considering the time he almost did get turned into a statue, but that was a joke for just him. He clenched his fists and Alfyn approached with the needle and thread. He’d been through this more than once, he’d be fine, it was all things he’d felt before. The sensation of the needle poking into his skin, the tug of thread following behind, the hand on his chin…
“Hold still.”
“I’m trying, but it’s hard not to laugh at the faces you’re making.”
“I’m trying to focus here, Castys, come on. You don’t want this to be a super nasty scar, do you?”
“Uh…I don’t really care. As long as I can still eat food and stuff what does it matter? I don’t see anyone else besides you, and I don’t think you care either.”
“I-I don’t, but…maybe there will be other people, someday?”
“Even then, whatever. If they’re scared off by a scar on my face they’re probably losers, anyway.”
“So you’ll fit right in, then!”
“And yet you still hang out with me all of the time.”
“Yeah, ‘cause there’s literally no one else, dumbass. It’s not like I have options.”
“Sucks to suck. I’m…I’m okay with just you, though.”
“...Me too, Castys. But that might change if you don’t sit still.”
His scars hurting more than his actual wounds was stupid, but it was certainly happening. He left Alfyn’s quarters in sort of a daze, trying to bury everything the stitches had brought to the surface. Focus on anything and everything else, on the awful food, on talking with Kamon, on getting more respect from the other crewmates, on drinking stolen ale, on the share of the treasure he was promised once they reached land.
But that night, lying awake in his hammock as the crew snored around him, his scars still hurting, the pain cutting through the warm haze of the alcohol, he didn’t feel any less alone.
Next→
Castys Cult: @as-a-matter-of-whump @blackrosesandwhump @fanmanga1357-blog @thehopelessopus @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi @hearse-song @muddy-swamp-bitch @whumpasaurus101 @yet-another-heathen @galaxywhump @starnight-whump @his-unspoken-words @misspelledwitch @suspicious-whumping-egg @pumpkin-spice-whump @painsandconfusion @i-can-even-burn-salad @befuddled-calico-whump @whumpinggrounds @whump-queen @whumpedydump @theelvishcowgirl
#i wrote something#castys#pirate whump#stitches#splinters#HAHAHA USING LEGACY EDITOR SINCE I SAVED A FEW BLANK POSTS TO MY DRAFTS#i wish i saved more but oh well#bit shorter of a thing it's less than 2k words wow#i just didnt have anything else i wanted to do with this one idk once again i feel like there's not much but also i know all the lore#i dont think ill be able to keelhaul him tho 😔 he's being a very well-behaved boy since he's so young so he doesnt have any reason to be#he's not used to pain like normal so he's scared of getting whipped again and that's enough to keep him in like#most people make random ocs and get attached to them#i make random ocs and end up using less than i planned on#but it is what it is ( ̄_ ̄;)#now im gonna work on goretober bits and maybe the next E&T chapter cuz it would be cool if i could finish that by halloween#i can write i just have to force myself to do it really i just want to game and watch anime in my free time#but i dont want that to be the case i would like to Make Something#oh and sorry the fight was like a paragraph/sentence it just wasnt working any other way so sorry if it's underwhelming or something idk
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me when i forget my acc/password, personal info, or anything that people expect me to remember permanently: life is pain. i hate this. there is no joy in this sorrow. memories are the sands of time, slipping through the unknown threads of false hope.
me when i forget i have food on my table: omg free cookies!!
#happy stuff#i found 'free money' this way too hjfdshg#syrips lore#funnily enough i never EVER get hacked or have account problems which apparently is a common thing#since i reset my pws so many times i guess no one wants to deal with that#-taps my own side of head- cant get hacked if you dont even know the acc/pw yourself#but yea people look at me funny when they ask for my phone number or address and i take out my phone to check#luckily my friends understand or sound nice like 'take your time' and stuff and im like ty#how can i remember ravenloft lore but i cant remember my own phone number what is that seriously fdjshgfd#its prob mental stuff but yea so funny and frustrating to me sometimes like cmon brain do something you silly guy
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I dont know why youve leapt to assuming this post was about the workplace? the original post mentioned friends, family, and going out for drinks, and it feels a bit like a bad faith read to assume this meant for you to try to talk about weird niche TV show interests to your boss, when it seems far more likely to be a post about not letting cringe culture rule your entire life, in a time when its so common for ppl to let themselves become beholden to tiktok microtrends, and being terrified that theyll lose all their friends if anyone finds out they enjoy steven universe.
It’s crazy and fucked up that being yourself is actually the solution.
#reblog#this feels like it was a personal post by the OP who has realized that stifling every interest and thing that they like to constantly#manage how they are percieved and avoid doing anything cringey or weird is uh fucking exhausting and terrible for your mental health#that has spread quite far past containment#and is now being entirely misread as reveal every weird little thing about yourself At Work.#maybe i simply dont know any better tho cos ive so far worked in warehouse grunt jobs with a bunch of other weird unhinged little freaks#im fairly certain that entire second shift had adhd or something similar enough lmao#i have weird colored hair i even went in a couple times with it styled into sort of a bihawk. i wore a shirt covered in furbies. i carry#a purse shaped like a trilobite. so far the most challenging thing for my coworkers seemed to be the fact that i continue to diligently#wear an n95 cos i dont want to get sick. i wasnt telling my coworkers about my depraved oc lore...but id talk about the newest season of#stranger things with them since i watched it. i talked about cats and fish. i talked about atla. i told a couple of them that i wanted to#learn how to walk on stilts. it was fine. yes youre going to have to do some amount of managing how your percieved. but if you let that#take priority over every aspect of your life youll go insane#and there are people who have let their fear of being judged take over every single aspect of their life#and they do genuinely need to hear that its okay to wear a cringey band Tshirt or whatever#also: i hope porfessionalism standards continue to get more lax. death to professionalism. i just got a job offer wearing a tacky print#short sleeve button down covered in sharks with a vampire squid necklace and jeans with a faded blue fauxhawk. this needs to be possible in#more workplaces and its stupid that it isnt. even if you are not expressing your true self at work for your own safety. you should at least#recognize that these standards are absurd and arbitrary. and if a coworker is brave enough to reveal a tiny bit of their authenticity to u#i think it would be kind to give them the space for that. even if its not your weird.#that said. in these warehouses there were also people who were unhinged in the bad way. the 'blasting alex jones at work' way.#and i was fairly cold to these people. i did my best to be purely professional with them and not express interest in getting to know them.#and i didnt love that the guy who thought stop signs = communism (derogatory from him) was also driving a forklift around#but to his credit he did at least obey the stop signs. so.#this job thats accepted me with the tacky fish shirt and blue hair doesnt pay super well and seems like its going to be a bit chaotic. but#we'll see. and if it doesnt work there i can always go back to that first warehouse job unfortunately. cos im pretty sure they wouldve let#me get away with so so so much
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I don't think I've ever poured so many of my physical attributes and so much of my heart and soul into a character design before in such a personal way before so fuck it whenever I finish the final design for Faeng and whatever I come up with I'm making her into my sona (dragonsona? Persona? Idk how this works lmfao)
(long dump in the tags and under the cut)
The last time I was even remotely connected this much to a character was when I designed Jaxsu, but honestly never truly made her my sona/main character, she was just the one I used most often in art pieces. I never really actually liked her lore and backstory enough because she was what I wanted to be instead of what I am/was. Jax isnt perfect either, but her parents love her and otherwise has friends and is loved unconditionally. She has a healthy relationship with everyone and everything. This is where the disconnect happened and where I actually started to dislike her despite her being my otherwise favorite character for awhile. Both Faeng and Jaxsu have ADHD and Autism but Jaxsu was able to put that towards a job and becoming a ship captain and winning a colosseum tournament. She's done all of these great things so even if she didn't have a healthy relationship with her parents they'd still love her because she's done something impressive and useful.
Faeng on the other hand, has to fight for everything. Her parents are important and have important jobs, and place all of these unreachable and unrealistic expectations on her and expect her to reach them with minimal effort and be perfect, but she can't no matter how hard she tries. She needs someone to explain it and break it down for her in steps so she understands what do to and how to do it so she doesn't mess it up. She's both strong and smart but it's not in practical "normal" ways or subjects. It's convoluted, It's not in the ways everyone wants her to be, she has no teachers to help her understand how to channel that strength and intelligence into something "useful" so she puts it towards the things she likes and wants to do, and thus struggles in a world that would otherwise be easy to navigate and conquer if she were "normal". Those that do understand her and try to help her are alienated by other people in an attempt to either punish both of them or force her to adapt to be somewhat passing as normal, if not then at least listen to what she's told to do. She does eventually make acquaintances but find that her twisted speech and weird explanations aren't worth trying to decipher and understand so they leave, they don't put in the effort to meet her halfway even though she's struggling and doing her best to speak in a way they'll understand.
Her parents acknowledge her differences but in a way that frames it as flawed and wrong, something that needs to be corrected, and push her to figure out her problems by herself, tearing down any support network she tries to build. She tries her damned hardest but it's not enough, it never is and never will be for them because she's not the perfect child they wanted. She showed promise in her younger years being a "gifted child" so she knows what love and acceptance lies in wait and what could be if she could just be normal and perfect. Her achievements and promise come and show in waves. She burns and fizzles out in one of the most virulent, painful ways possible after getting hurt trying to prove her worth yet again. She holds nothing but criticism, vitriol and contempt for herself because she can't claw her way back to where she was before, this time something happened and something is terribly, horribly wrong this time but she doesn't know that it is and can't figure it out, nor will anyone tell her. Whatever it is, left a mental and several physical injuries and it does nothing but deepen her self hatred and her parent's waning belief in her. She listens to false promises and praise of other people who do nothing but wish to manipulate and harm her but she stays because any form of praise is deemed good, she hungers for more and does worsening things.
She ignores the people who tell her that what she's doing is dangerous and will only end in disaster, because she doesn't believe them. If the people who are saying they're her friends are telling her that the people she hurts deserve it and that what she's doing is good, then surely she needs to believe them over strangers, right? Everything comes to a breaking point and shatters around her leaving her with quite literally nothing but her own self hatred, newfound rage and overbearing mental issues she needs to navigate once again to find out what hell it is and what's wrong with her now. She's scared of everyone and everything with the added bonus of now being hyper-aware and perceptive of people's mannerisms and behaviors, especially those who want to manipulate or harm her again. She wraps every vulnerable part of herself in metaphorical thorns and teeth to bite and maim whoever pries and digs into what she truly is, even people who want to understand her. She suffers at more than her own hand, forcing herself to deal with everything alone, until she finally meets someone that could be considered a true friend. She slowly opens up and helps them as much as they help her before everything comes crashing back down once again upon the reveal that they've been lying to her the entire time about very serious issues, and she's been used as nothing more than an attack dog once again. She burns every bridge and everyone around her in one final breakdown of rage before shutting down completely. One of the groups of friends she's shoved stay comes back and asks if she's ok. She doesn't understand why they're being kind, why they're concerned it why they care and tries to shove them away again. Every single day they still ask, talking even if there's no response from her, until she finally relents and breaks.
She's finally loved and accepted despite every fault and every flaw she has, and every time she tries to pull away out of fear of being an inconvenience they pull back twice as hard and remind her that she's able to just exist, she doesn't need to constantly be useful and that they care. She finally, finally is comfortable enough to let herself be accepted and then becomes the most clingy little shit, just as they do with her. But yeah, my own life has been very much of the same, especially the last part. Every time I go on another self-hatred spiral and drop off the face of the earth my MonHun bros give me a metaphorical slap to the face and remind me that I don't need to constantly prove my worth to everyone and prove that I'm useful, and that existing every once in awhile is more than enough. If that doesn't work then it's "you need to get your ass back over here because we're failing the Safi siege without the absolutely ridiculous amount of DPS your build Switchaxe does". I was not intending for her to be so much like me but goddamnit she's wormed her way into being my favorite now and I guess Mirage is no longer my impromptu sona
#I've been working the last 3 hours on her design and like just noticed HOW MUCH of myself i put into her design#especially parts of myself im self conscious of and don't like/didn't like growing up. i usually zone out esp during a character design#but i stopped and i looked at it and my first thought was “that's me. that's me on that canvas.” and for some reason felt so happy with it#ik that's probably a selfish thought to have and im nowhere near done with her design but i looked at it and loved it so deeply.#she's imperfect and ugly and flawed but that's ok because she's still beautiful in her own weird way and her friends still love her#this is the weirdest shit I've ever experienced but i honestly feel like I'm finally accepting a part of myself I've hated and shoved down#for so long because of the absolute gnawing feeling of unacceptance I've always been subjected to as “not fitting in” and something she say#is “who gives a shit what other people think about me. i have friends who love and care about me just as much as i do for them.#you dont need to be liked by everyone to be worth something. sometimes just existing is enough for the people who do love you“#the parallels of both my life and her lore are so similar they hurt on a visceral level i cant describe and it was completely unintentional#we both trust too easily whether it's out of naivety or stupidity and not learning from past mistakes and have been hurt so deeply#so many times beyond our own comprehension by the betrayal of other people to the point of shutting down every attempt at friendship#despite knowing just how much being alone aches and burns and put both physical and mental health on the line to get the approval of others#but never letting anyone get close enough to be friends out of fear of being hurt again#and having every vulnerable part of ourselves wrapped in metaphorical knives and glass to hurt anyone attempting to get to know us#but simultaneously and unknowingly hurting ourselves too with that choice. we're both aware of what we're doing but also unable to stop it#out of fear and lack of people willing to understand our pain and frustration and anger over things and it's so so frustrating#we both lash out when angry or hurt and push people that we love and love us back away out of fear that if any “ugly” is exposed to them#they'll leave because we lose our one redeemable quality of “being convenient” in a group#but simultaneously don't them trust fully out of fear. we know we're loved and love back but never fully in case its all a lie.#we both want nothing more than someone to understand and listen to what happened to us and actually stay and be friends rather than leave#like truly actually want to be friends and not just stay out of pity or sorrow over what happened#i think this is just something that comes with the autism tbh#i am she and she is me#rambling#dragon character#character writing#character building#dragon oc
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gentle exfoliation
pairing: spencer reid x reader
description: in which you help spencer after he gets shot.
tags: fluff, established relationship, fem!reader, casual nudity (nothing explicit is mentioned), pain meds mentioned, little hurt/comfort, spencer feels undeserving, reader takes care of him.
a/n: little fluff, i just need to take care of that boy hes so :( also dont ask me about showering with crutches, idk how people do all that just dont! think about it too hard. some ace lore, i fractured my wrist and had a cast for 2 months, i wrapped it in a plastic bag and would fold it up after for the next shower. #reusereduceandrecycle am i right? anw! happy reading, lmk what you think!!
wc: 1.1k
you trail behind spencer as he slowly makes his way up the stairs. he hops onto the next step with his good leg, using the crutches to pull the rest of him up, he's methodical and careful with his movements. the doctor said stairs would be fine, as long as he took his time, but it still felt like too much exertion in your opinion. you protested when he denied derek's help but you were met with pleading eyes, i want to do this myself, forcing you to concede. that doesn't stop you from hovering a hand over the small of his back as he climbs the next step.
a dull click reverberates through his apartment door as you unlock it, letting spencer in first. he beelines for the bedroom, and you set both your bags down on the couch, following him. he’s perched at the edge of the bed, kicking off his shoes. his shoulders are slumped in exhaustion, dark circles around his eyes as he looks up at you. you rake a hand through his hair–you realise how long it is as it passes through your fingers. you twirl the ends before letting it fall.
“wanna take a shower?” you suggest softly.
he nods and you lead him to the adjoined bathroom with his arm over your shoulder. you lean against the door frame, itching to help him.
he looks at you, puzzled. “are you going to watch me undress?” he asks, unbuttoning his shirt.
“yeah, it's a great view,” you shoot him a cheeky wink, making him blush. deciding to be meaner, you give him a once over, checking him out unabashedly, the hue on his cheeks growing pinker. your teasing falters a little as your eyes pass over his knee and the bandage wrapped around it, his pants now on the floor. he makes note of the flash of concern that passes over your features and gives you grace by asking for your help. to which you rush to the kitchen for some cling film and return to him.
kneeling, you wrap the area in plastic, over the gauze, you don't care, making sure to accumulate enough layers so water doesn't seep through. it's a subpar job, but you spring up proud anyways. “so the wound doesn't get wet,” you explain, head tilted up.
he gives you a goofy smile, amused, but covered in so incredibly in love with you, pressing a kiss to your forehead. you tip your head back, returning the smile. even slouched and leaning, he's so tall.
when he steps into the shower, you step in with him, work clothes still on but at least you've shed your jacket. how is he supposed to shower with one hand, you reason, his other hand holding onto the crutch. he doesn't stop you though, he doesn't stop when you turn on the water, he doesn't stop you when he suddenly feels self-conscious that he's fully naked and you're not, he doesn't stop you when you start to run the water over his skin and slowly lather the soap on his shoulders. rather, he pouts.
“what's wrong?” you immediately ask, alarmed by the look on his face.
“you're getting your clothes wet,” his words are morose, like it's the worst thing in the world.
“baby,” you coo, bringing a soapy hand up to his face, caressing it softly. he leans into your touch. “i don't care that my clothes are wet, i'm taking them off after this anyway. i just want to take care of you. please let me.”
god, he doesn’t deserve you, and he thinks that as he looks at you, eyes tracing over your features, features that will him to surrender. he doesn’t want to be a burden. he knows you’ll take the week off, stay with him, and make sure he’s well cared for. yet you won’t push him—won’t smother him. you’ll give him space unless he asks for more. like you’re doing now, helping him because he asked for it. and still, he feels like shit. you're too sweet to him. even as you're standing there, drenched, cleary not upset by the ordeal, he still believes he doesn’t deserve this.
you watch as this inner turmoil makes its way through him, his thought process so loud you can hear him. you wipe a tear away from his face that he didn’t realise spilled, he was crying. “do you want me to leave?” you ask, extremely patient, giving him the room to say yes if he wants. he shakes his head, no. “okay, i'll stay,” you press a chaste kiss to his lips and continue washing him.
the tap squeaks as you turn the water off, moving aside so he can walk out. you strip out of your clothes leaving you in your bra and underwear, damp but better than dripping water all over the floors. you hold his crutches as he puts a bathrobe on, its purple with yellow stars on it. you follow him out of the bathroom but go back after retrieving your pyjamas and a towel.
“i'll be two seconds,” you mumble and faintly hear him hum in acknowledgement. you quickly have a shower and change into some clean dry clothes. it's a relief, admittedly. you'd been in the same rotation of outfits, having stayed in the hospital for a few days, with an insufficient supply of clothes in your go bag. but you didn't care much, wanting to stay beside spencer.
when you walk out, towel wiping your face, you see him sitting on the bed. fully clothed. you smile at him, feeling brighter. “oh, you changed,” you observe, you were ready to dress him.
“mhm, folded the cling wrap for tomorrow,” he responds, and it's sweet how he thought to save it. you walk to the living room, rooting around in your bags and return with his pain meds, tylenol to his request, it being fairly mellow. you hand him a cup of water and a pill.
“we’ll wash your hair tomorrow, okay?” he nods, looking at you over the rim of his glass. he downs the rest of the water and sets it down on his bedside table.
turning off the lights, you make your way to your side of the bed, slipping under the covers. he does the same, scooting closer to you. he's on his back since he doesn’t know which position feels comfortable yet, so you curl into his side, resting your head on his shoulder. your eyes follow the steady rise and fall of his chest. you hear him inhale, as if preparing to say something, you wait.
“thank you,” he breaks the silence with a quiet whisper, hand wrapped around your back giving you a gentle squeeze.
you reach up and kiss his cheek, “it's nothing, i’d do anything for you.”
m.list
#spencer reid#criminal minds#spencer reid fluff#fluff#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid fic#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid one shot#spencer reid imagine#criminal minds fanfic#criminal minds fanfiction
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Lineup of all of the characters that appear long enough to need a visual representation of them in the game lol
#I added a few people that you can randomly run into around town (like at the inn or in the forest or etc) and have very short conversations#with just to kind of flesh out the world a little more in a more natural-ish seeming way. Like nobody in the main cast would really#have much reason to talk about the actual city you're in or anything. Since most of them havent lived there that long anyway.#But if there's a ''city inspector'' that you can run into whilst he's writing up notes examining the local inn. then maybe there could be a#few dialogue options with him where you can ask about things like that. since he would know more about the area as an offical Government#Worker or etc. Optional of course. since I have to be so wary of my natural inclination to lore dump lol and am trying extra hard to make i#all stuff thats easily avoided/skipped. But for the people like ME who deliberately choose to exhaust every possible optional dialogue#option and explore every single inch of the world and try to collect as much information as possible - then there are a few extra places to#do that. Though obviously not all of them just give exposition for like 15 paragraphs blandly. Some you don't really learn anything from#and it's kind of just.. random flavor to make the non-shop map locations more ''lived in'' feeling. Like the random#little girl you can talk to in the park doesn't bizarrely start reading out the wikipedia description of some War that happened 10 years ag#or whatever. she's just complains about school a little and asks if you've tried the nearby ice cream cart treats and etc lol#ANYWAY..#some of the art is so so evil but I'm not going to spend 800 years trying to clean it up and update it. whatever the hell mess I sketched#out in 2018 or whatever is just what I'm keeping lol... it is what it is#One of the many trials of the whole 'briefly work a few months on something and then abandon it almost entirely only to pick up work#on it literally like 4 - 5 yrs later and now you must contend with trying to decipher whatever weird shit you did years ago' experience lol#Also given the population breakdowns of the world in general I think there's an unrealistic amount of jhevona in this lineup since#they're a much rarer species to just see out and about anywhere but.. it IS a global trading center type area. and the game#takes place in the north (the country of Asen. near the coast. for the maybe 2 or less people who actually keep up with my worldbuilding#enough to know where that is lol (the same continent as Navyete (where the avirre'thel live)) and there's a decent concentration#of nothern jhevona only a short ways away so... tee hee..I shall pretend it makes sense and not merely me just wanting#to represent more of that species because I think their lore is interesting lol#I MEAN also realistically there would NOT be a human here because humans are extremely isolated species that don't even know the rest#of the world exists really and human territories are extremely protected from the outside world but... of course it's like.. well we need#at least One of them to be there for the Optional Lore. Same with the Ythrili. But at least those are like.. PLAUSIBLE.. not nonsensically#outlandish. If I had a Verrucalt or something in there THEN that would be truly lore-breaking almost lol#ANYWAY.. rambling that only means anything to me because nobody else knows what I'm even referencing but hbjh#also I think my character designs are so funny in the sense that I really do just love to do the same thing over and over again ghbjh#wow... random asymmetry and belts and arm straps and high collars where the neck is completely covered?? you dont say..how novel
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Shades of Cool
NEGLECTFUL!PLATONIC!YAN!batfam x GN!reader
synopsis : growing up with a shit mom and constant step-dads and mom's boyfriends, your view on life has grown pretty bleak. you just want to die, since it doesn't seem to get better than this. things can't get any worse, can they?
wsp guys. it's been pretty long, huh?... OK IM SORRY FOR NOT POSTING IT QUICKLY. here, damn 🙄. anyways, i hope yall enjoy n im glad u guys liked the first chapter. lets just hope this one lives up to yalls expectations 😭. follow me and repost this if u want a chapter three. also I NEED SOMEONE TO EDUCATE ME ABOUT SUNDAY FROM HSR BC I WANNA WRITE FICS ABOUT HIM SO BAD SO PLS SOMEONE EDUCATE ME N ALSO IF U KNOW LOVE AND DEEP SPACE??? PLS HIT ME UP AND EXPLAIN THIS LORE BC I WANNA WRITE YANDERE FICS FOR THEM SO BAD
“Why are balls called balls when testicles sounds hella fancier?”
At your friend’s bizarre question, the face of your other friend, Zarian, twinges in disgust. “Jayelene… why do you feel the need to put that out there?”
You huff in amusement, focusing on your pizza before what Jaylene says ruins your entire mood.
“I’m just saying! Testicles just seems more appropriate⏤the type of fancy shit drake and his family would say.”
Tim Drake Wayne…
Dinner with him and his freak-a-zoid family was like trying to make it past no-man’s land without any help to shield you from the straight up chilling vibes they gave off with their constant comments about bat facts. Bats. The atmosphere during the entire time you spent there was dreadful and quite literally heavy since Tim's youngest little brother wanted to sneak stares at you as if you wouldn’t notice his bug-looking eyes creeping into your soul.
Rich people really are weird, huh?
The Wayne family is nothing like how you expected them to be. They’re supposed to be cold, mysterious, and irresistibly enchanting, but all you’ve got are creepy vibes and a strong urge to stay away from them as much as possible. From the way Mr. Wayne made that weird comment about your father in the limo to how forcibly happy Richard or “Dick” was with you, you’ve come to an understanding that rich people are complete lunatics.
The Wayne family is full of a bunch of lunatics.
And you’re not afraid to voice that.
“There you go again,” Jaylene sighs when she notices the irritated expression on your face. “It’s never that serious, [Name]. You just hate everyone.”
“No, you don't get it! They were creepy as hell! Like… Like bats in dark caves coming at you all at once. They talk funny, they look funny⏤they act funny! What normal man name drops your mother’s name after knowing each other for about thirty minutes?”
Zarian huffs in amusement. “That’s the creepy part. How does Mr. Wayne know your name?”
“I dont know.” You run your fingers through your hair and lean back against the booth seat. “I don't want anything to do with them. Billionaire or not, how the hell does he know my mother’s name.”
It was perhaps towards the end of your stay at the Wayne’s manor for dinner, and you knew you had to go home, so you had largely hinted at leaving to Drake. Everything had gotten wrapped up, but when you were just about to leave, Mr. Wayne had told you, “make sure to tell [M/n] I said hi.”
You could only stare at him in shock as your body carried along, because how does a man as famous and wealthy as bruce wayne know your mother⏤your mother? He’s the chief executive officer of Wayne Enterprises yet mentions your mother?
That moment alone is enough to wave every red flag in your brain that screams at you, telling you something is up with these shady people. The only question is what? What can a billionaire possibly want from you? Out of everything the world has to offer, the most influential billionaire in America wants to target some meager high school kid?
What do these people want from you? Is it a rich people thing to play around with those below you? Well, you guess it probably is. Like, is Mr. Wayne gonna pop out with his soulless eyes and say, ‘you’re my long lost child?’ or something?
You still don’t know why you’re being a goat stuffed before slaughtering. These people want something from you, but you? You’ve got nothing to offer that they could want. Why the hell do they even bother? If there's one thing you really hate, it’s being left in the dark like this. Not knowing is terrifying. It's dangerous. Not knowing means not being prepared, and if you’re not prepared, you won’t make it out. Damn it, you should’ve booked it the moment Mr. Wayne mentioned your father in the limo. Movies and shows always display rich people as eccentric and psychopathic weirdos, and now you’re finally believing it.
Damn it.
You’re in danger. Okay.
Maybe that’s an exaggeration. But maybe it’s not.
You’ve watched enough true crime and have enough intuition and trust in your gut to know when something is wrong.
It’s not adding up.
You’re not dumb. You see all the warnings there, but what if you're exaggerating. What if this is just the nature of the Waynes, and you think you’re special enough to be noticed by them? Mr. Wayne is a damn billionaire! He’s got the money to do whatever he wants, so it’s only natural for him to do a background check on everybody that interacts with his sons, right?
It’s all in your head… It’s all in your head.
Sighing, you stare at the plate of food in front of you, appetite long gone. Still, you grab a fork and continue to eat as Zarian and Jaylene scream back and forth next to you. Drake, who had accompanied the three of you to the diner after practice, has left, thankfully. He left as soon as his food arrived while talking about some family emergency, and honestly, you’re pretty damn grateful for that.
Ever since dinner at his house, he’s surrounded you like a pillow smothering you, and you can’t do anything about it. He’s a billionaire’s son, for fuck’s sake.
It doesn’t take long for you and your friends to finish up, and you all part ways at the door of the diner before you clutch the straps of your backpack and walk around the city endlessly. This is a habit for you now⏤a way to put off going home as much as possible ever since you found out your mother’s boyfriend doesn’t come home until one or two in the morning.
That balding, ugly, sleazy piece of shit.
He’s as gross as every other man your mother’s brought home under the terribly veiled illusion that he’ll provide her a good life and treat her right. No matter how many times you try to tell that blind bitc… No. It's wrong. It’s not your mother’s fault.
But it sometimes feels like that, though.
Most mother’s destroy their own lives for their children, yet yours cannot even think about leaving the man that beats her child on a daily. Those types of mothers leave their spouses the second they see something wrong, while your mother treats those finger-print bruises around your neck like a necklace instead of abuse.
You’ve given up on her. You gave up on her back when you were eleven years old locked in a room with her boyfriend, and she didn’t listen. Or when you were twelve. Or thirteen. Or fourteen. Or fifteen. Or sixteen. Or seventeen. And now eighteen.
And each day feels like a repetition of the same. Wake up, go to school, practice, walk around, go home, get beat, and sleep like none of it all happens. It’s a routine you despise with every fiber of your being⏤makes you wanna jump over Gotham City Bridge before thinking about returning home because who would want to? Who wants this average life?
A life where you’re not happy enough, not sad enough. Not good enough, not bad enough. Not energized enough, not tired enough. You feel like a survivor of a plane crash floating on a raft at the center of the endless ocean with no way out. Everything just seems so vast, wide, and unreachable. How can you find the shore on a simple raft? How can you find a way out of inescapable misery if it’s not by drowning?
You’ve been waiting to find the shore, but it’s been a whole eighteen years since you’ve found yourself floating along the ocean.
That whole “it’ll get better” shit is a tragic lie.
Whatever.
It doesn’t matter⏤not anymore, at least. You’re going to get far away from this place and never look back. Never have to relieve this wretched city. Never have to be confined by chains again. You’ve only a few months left before you’re free.
Until then, you’ll have to be patient and go home because the sun has fully disappeared.
Nothing but satellites twinkle in the disgustingly polluted sky of Gotham City, and the streets have come to a staggering halt as you stroll about the sidewalks, trying to find the longest path to get home. One in the morning is always the perfect time in Gotham because it’s too late and too early to be outside, so it’s generally safe for a walk.
Of course, the universe likes to prove you wrong at every point.
The sound of a thud followed by a pained groan behind you has your legs locked and ready to run with your brain screaming alerts, but you take a deep breath and turn around. How bad can it get, anyways? The sight before you surprised you nonetheless. It’s… Nightwing, a Bludhaven hero, here in Gotham, just randomly popping up behind you?
With clear bleeding cuts and sprouting bruises across his body.
In the random alley you just happen to be in?
No. You’re looking into it too much.
His eyes lock onto and they make you freeze right then and there like he’s cast some spell upon you. But that’s for a cold, brief second before you’re hooking your thumbs under the straps of your backpacks and turning around hot on your heels, refusing to spare him a single second.
You even hear him murmur a strained, “wait,” but you don't care.
It’s rude, mean, cruel, and it’s also none of your business. All you simply do is walk ahead to your approaching doom with an pit of unease and bitter understanding of your helplessness in your stomach. You can already feel the soon-to-be new bruises blooming along your back.
You’re not a good person.
But, really, who is?
Smoking really does skill.
But now you know why people do it.
Each drag is more out of necessity than it is a choice ever since you’ve met your friend’s plug at the dumb age of sixteen, but it's a way to dull the harsh truth of reality. The world just fades into nothing but muted and mixed colors like the loud city underneath your balcony it blurs into a faint hum the longer you stare at the spiral puffs of smoke that disappear into the air.
Everything’s bitter⏤the joint and you.
Really bitter at the blood semi-dried on your face and the dull ache along your back.
You’ve got about an hour and a half until you have to head out to school, so what other way is there to spend it than smoking away your brain? The joint’s a temporary escape, but it helps you stall whatever new feeling of despair you’ll feel for the day. Until you’re interrupted by your phone buzzing⏤the sound still a dull hum in your ears
“... Hello?”
“[Name]!”
Zarian’s voice?
“Where the hell are you? Hurry up and get to school or else you’re gonna get in trouble for not helping to set up the club fair, and coach will be on our ass! And don't forget to bring money for the tickets!”
Coach?... Club fair?... Club fair! Holy shit!
Your eyes shoot open, and you frantically scramble up, tossing the joint over the balcony railing before hectically staggering through the living room like a drunk man. Damn it, how could you be so clueless and forget such an important event? Especially one you need money for! Damn it⏤damnit! What do you do?
… Mom! She’s got a box of money somewhere in her closet, right? You’ve seen it before! It's just twenty dollars, and she wont notice. Okay… Okay. You’re quick to get ready. You wash away all the blood that’s dried on your face, brush your teeth, and change into baggy jeans and a clean shirt before storming into your mother’s bedroom and rummaging through her things.
She’s off at work. Her bastard boyfriend doesn't come home until late at night, which means he’s probably already taken money for the day. Okay. That's fine. They won't notice.
But you can't find anything! What the hell? Where is that fucking box? You could’ve sworn it was there on the top shelf last night, but as you swipe your hands across everything on the shelf, you can’t find it. All of a sudden, something made of wood hits the top of your head and falls to the ground with a crack. You hiss, palm moving to cover where you got hit, but your eyes land on the box that now has money strewn all across the floor and a broken… false bottom?
What the fuck.
You pull away at the rest of the false bottom to only be met with countless photos of you as a child with your mother. Mom’s shit boyfriend had all the family photos taken down for some weird reason, so they’ve been here this entire time? All of these photos are full of you throughout every stage of your life, but some have different people in them as well. Their faces are either scratched out or they’re ripped out of the photo entirely.
From what you can gather, the figures are a man and what seems to be a teenage boy. The absurdity and even slight creepiness of the scratched out faces has you laughing, yet even with your now dulled senses, your eyes land on a photo you failed to notice earlier. Maybe you’re hallucinating. There must be something wrong with your brain. Or your eyes. The universe must be playing with you because is that a photo of you and a teenage-looking dick grayson?
Your eyes widen because it looks just like the strange man you had the unfortunate opportunity of having a conversation with during dinner with the Waynes. It’s him! More importantly, why the hell is he holding a ‘three year old’ you’s hand? You probably should be screaming. Yelling. Maybe panicking? But all you can do is shuffle through the rest of the box before your fingers graze against something metal that has your heart jumping.
It’s a small camera.
With a bat engraved on its side.
Ears ringing so loudly in your head you can't even think, you wipe your teary and red eyes hastily before grabbing a twenty dollar bill, putting everything except for the photo and camera in the box, set it back on the closet shelf, and hastily grab your backpack before making way to school.
The second you reach the damned place, you seek out your now three friends and drop into a seat with a heavy thud, sighing and meeting Tim's eyes with a burning gaze.
“You mean to tell me [Name] found the camera? And you decided to tell me after school?”
Time Drake Wayne sighs and runs his fingers through his black hair, shrugging apathetically while scrolling through every photo in his phone that he’s taken of you during the club fair. His brother, Richard, is pacing throughout his room anxiously as he rambles off about their latest fuckup.
“Look, Bruce doesn't let any slip ups happen,” Tim murmurs in exasperation. “He wouldn't let this happen because [Name]’s mom and him talked this morning. Relax, he probably knows.”
It's not a lot, but it’s enough to calm Richard down. The man takes a deep breath but finds himself sitting down next to Tim, trying to get a good look at the pictures. “How mad was [Name]?”
“High, for starters, but clearly pissed off. Very observant, too.”
“Don’t tell anyone else. Not until Bruce gives us the okay.”
TAGLIST :
@ilovemyhusbandnanami (so real), @missikkj, @ferakillia, @darlinqvi, @soriansick, @sleepydhanie, @h0rr0r-10ver-69 (love ur blog aesthetic bae), @anuttellaa (OK WINX 😽), @feral-childs-word (love the pfp), @shycreatorreview, @friesandfixations, @stuff6969fuckyou, @babiebubsie, @jsprien213, @cattioo, @cherrydaisymanic (cheetah?leopard? printttt 😍), @00hellohello00, @princessloveweird, @amber-content, @idonthaveanameforthisacc, @f1lover4ever, @dreamsarenicer, @imaginarydreams, @solkara (love the calm aesthetic), @bobfood, @toast-on-dandelioms, @ijustfuckme, @cantfindmelol, @xx1shadow1xx, @azulawayne, @box-of-kinderjoy, @iamaunknownsecret, @missybabes, @phoenixgurl030, @couldeatthatgirlforlunch, @devils-blackrose, @arevvv, @freakthis, @yourhornysister, @kirahhhh, @perfectparadisegardener, @testishere, @spaceunicorn293, @vanilliona (love the pfpp), @uknowimdumb, @esposadomd, @dakotali, @lilyalone, @kore-of-the-underworld, @pix-stuff, @hellcatsworld, @chericia, @mspoisoncoil (love the bannnnerrr) , @devotedlyshamelessdetective, @cheeseburgercasserole (love the aesthetic), @twismare
so follow me n repost if u want part lll. and somebody pls explain hsr and love and deepspace lore to me. making a taglistttttt. if this post doesnt get as many likes as the first one, im deleting this series 😭. if u see a grammatical mistake, no u didnt 😃🔪
if anybody’s got requests about this series or in general, feel free to ask!!!
WAIT!! FOLLOW MY WATTPAD ACCOUNT : @depresssant. I JUS PUBLISHED A HISTORICAL YANDERE X READER STORY
#platonic yandere#platonic relationships#platonic#yandere#yandere batfam#yandere batboys#yandere batman#female reader#male reader#gn reader#bruce wayne#batman#damian wayne#yandere damian wayne#dick grayson#yandere dick grayson#tim drake#yandere tim drake#jason todd#yandere jason todd#depresssant#sunday hsr#love and deepspace
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Please more Trail's gone cold au I'm begging you I need it just pour out every thought in your brain I want to hear it
hgdhhfbd i mean, sure why not
everything plot related is in the main post, there's nothing else really to tell. but i could share random details that didn't really fit into the lore drop. again tho, it's a small au and mostly an exploration of the concept, so there's not a lot.
❄️ gem and etho are siblings, i don't think it was mentioned anywhere? blood related and all that, they both have black hair, gem just dyes hers.
❄️ behind the scenes reasons for the order of deaths. generally i picked these three to be the main cast because i suddenly realized pet crew were just dungeon master and his two winners, and that was too crazy of a concept to not do anything with? so, tango as the main guy and actual master of the dungeon had to die first, seeing how he's the cave's favorite. pearl as the main explorer and as the one to unlock all the secrets had to die second, because she had to return to the dungeon / the cave to find out the truth, and she conquered it but never actually got out. and etho had to survive, because he's the "proper" winner and the one who actually escaped the dungeon with treasures.
❄️ lore reasons for the order of infection. tango you already know, but pearl and etho went in at the same time so in theory they had to start experiencing the effects together. but because etho was wearing a mask it did lessen the amount of sculk he inhaled, slowing down the process. wear masks kids!
and, well, you did say you wanted to hear every thought so. i really like the plot point of them leaving tango to die, so im gonna ramble a little about it. even just, the difference in their views on the situation is so satisfying to me. because tango had no idea something scary was happening to him! and for pearl and etho it was a life or death situation. and just-- they were talking about leaving tango and tango obviously, obviously, protested, because what the actual hell??? yes okay he's ill and a burden, but don't leave an ill guy to freeze to death in a cave, what is wrong with them????? or, okay, what is wrong with etho, pearl was against the idea. but, straight up tango did not plan for it to end this way, he had his whole life ahead of him and so many things ha still wanted to do! of course he cried when they left, what else was he supposed to do? thank etho for his awesome decision? be all cool and stoic and sacrifice himself? hell no, he didn't want to die, he never asked for this.
he did die tho, so. whomp whomp 🎺... i imagine he passed before pearl and etho even reached the stairs, so at least he didn't suffer for long. if he had a breakdown about being left alone he probably hyperventilated and inhaled like a ton more sculk, so that killed him even faster. must've sucked tho...
and then pearl, god, pearl.... she didn't encounter any dangers on the way back, since she wasn't trying to escape and the cave had no reason to be hostile towards her. but seeing how she was at the last stage before turning... she probably didn't get to tango before collapsing... not dying just yet, but too feverish and too weak to walk. but if tango was already back, he could very much go and find her. can you imagine the pure horror of drowning in your regrets as you slowly die and then having your supposedly already dead friend appear in front of you all cheery and oh so wrong. i dont know how much of tango is left in that thing, but the image of him sitting by pearl and holding her until she dies is so-- its haunting but it's sweet. and then there's still enough time to catch up with etho.
actually, gahhhh, all three pet povs are their own unique horror story and it's so good.
the horror of having to go through this terrifying experience, and then being the only survivor, knowing full well that the only reason you lived is because you left your friends to die, and there's no way of fixing it now.
the horror of everything falling apart around you because of miscommunication, and then the one time you decide to do it right you end up regretting every single decision and witnessing the direct result of your mistakes come for you.
the horror of being stupid... the horror of losing all control over your life and being betrayed in the moment of your most vulnerability, dying fully and utterly helpless.
this au is so sad but i love it so much...
okay wow that's enough for one post, ask more if you want tho!
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how they love you
xavier, rafayel ♡ gn!reader
warnings: major xavier and rafayel story spoilers, reader is the protagonist from the game (but gender neutral), rafayel is his own warning (hes a bit of a freak)
notes: im writing this like i understand xavier and rafayels lore (i dont. all i did was read up on reddit and the wiki before going straight off the dome.)
"xavier," jeremiah calls incredulously, "you're staring."
"no, i'm not," xavier lies straight through his teeth. his periwinkle eyes trail after you like they're bound to you, held together by a red string that knots at his irises.
(maybe they are.)
xavier blinks, resting for but a moment before his gaze returns. it'll always return—xavier thinks he does a lot of that. return.
"at least try to pretend," jeremiah remarks, tender expression betraying his incredulous tone. despite the fact that xavier is loitering in philo, posing a hazard to the nearby flora with his intense aura, jeremiah can't bring himself to say anything more.
xavier is in love—but that's not right, jeremiah thinks. xavier has always been in love. he loved you back in philos, in all your incarnations and the ones thereafter. xavier loved you when you sparred against him, when you rose to the throne, and even when you suffered and while everyone was against you, he loved you then, too.
jeremiah supposes that it's only right that xavier loves you now. because xavier loves with his whole being, it's not just his eyes that follow after you, but rather, his existence.
xavier follows you despite the era, traveling centuries back and staying just to catch a glimpse of you, to glimmer, ever so slightly, in your incomparable radiance.
we could go back, jeremiah thinks, conjuring up the possibility despite his nerves telling him not to. we could go back to philos. the core within your heart holds infinite possibilities.
if xavier wanted to, he could obtain your aether core, and that would be enough to return to the future—where you still exist, sure, but more importantly (to jeremiah, at least), where philos exists.
("we will not kill them," xavier muttered darkly, "do not bring this topic up again. i will find another solution.")
(and that was where jeremiah went wrong. because to xavier, philos is nothing. you have always been the whole, vast universe. you are the most important thing in this life, and the many more thereafter; and to xavier, no future matters except the one you exist in now.)
so, he did. he tried, at least. xavier scoured the ruined earth for protocores that could mimic the same capabilities of yours. he lived through centuries on earth, fighting for existence despite knowing that the answer lied, as it always has been, in you.
when your incarnation appeared, jeremiah never once doubted xavier's judgement. while the other backtrackers under xavier's command went mad, trying to harvest your aether core to return to philos, xavier fought—but more than that, actually. xavier loved.
xavier loved, no, loves, so fervently, so profoundly, that he killed the backtrackers who had tried to harm you. you are not the same incarnation that he loved back in philos, but the fact that it's you is enough for xavier to rid all doubts.
and jeremiah thinks that, despite xavier's desperate intent to return back to philos, he wouldn't mind living here on earth with you now. jeremiah has noticed that the fervent expression his captain once wore has dwindled into something more mellow, into something tender.
something like the looks he'd send to you from afar, chasing you across school rooftops and coexisting in between the clashing of blades—xavier loves.
and love has made him content. and love has made him present, when he never was before. when all he could do, prior to your incarnation's existence, was think of returning to philos.
(how could he return to philos when you're right here?)
"[name]," jeremiah calls, feigning ignorance to the way xavier glares at him, the captain's tender expression suddenly dissipating into nothingness. ouch, jeremiah thinks, mouthing to xavier, "you don't have to make it that obvious you don't like me."
"yeah?" you reply, glancing up from the foliage. xavier reaches over the many shelves of flora—much to jeremiah's dismay—before parting them to get a good look at your face. xavier smiles. jeremiah's jaw drops.
"did you find something you liked? you said you had to get a bouquet for a friend, right?" jeremiah asks, egging xavier on.
"a friend?" xavier echoes, not even bothering to look at the florista behind him.
"oh, yeah! i'm choosing a bouquet for this one guy—" jeremiah sees the way xavier's expression goes blank, lips thinning into a line whilst his periwinkle eyes, somehow, manage to retain their enamored look.
ah, jeremiah realizes, it's 'cause captain is still looking at them. of course it is—why did he expect any other reason?
although xavier remains silent, jeremiah knows that the only thing running through the captain's mind is: guy, guy, guy?!
"a guy?" jeremiah queries, deciding to put xavier out of his misery.
"yeah. he worked with my grandma when she was younger, but i have to deliver it through one of my friends because he lives in the arctic..."
"that means he's old," jeremiah whispers, loud enough for only xavier to hear. the captain glances away.
at least try to hide that look of relief, jeremiah thinks incredulously. still, it's fun to see xavier like this: with his tense brows easing up, his thinned lips turning slightly upwards. when xavier loves, he does it with his whole being.
it's in the way he slips in between the aisles of flora in order to be next to you. in the way he carries the vases of flowers for you despite knowing you're perfectly capable of doing so yourself.
when xavier loves, it's evident in the way his cold, indigo eyes melt into hues made of periwinkle. it's in the way his touch, hardened by years of training, melts into something as light as a feather. it grazes past your face, brushing a stray leaf away.
"how much will it be, jeremiah?" you ask, preparing your coin pouch. jeremiah feels xavier's glare piercing his skin.
i know, i know! is all jeremiah thinks. "for free. don't worry about it!"
"huh? that can't be right... these are a lot of flowers, jeremiah."
"it's okay, [name]," xavier interjects, resting a hand over yours to prevent you from getting your money. "he owes me a favor, and i never buy flowers. so it's best used for your bouquet."
again, xavier lies fluidly through his teeth.
"are you sure...? you could buy a couple flowers, xavier! you know, to decorate your room?"
xavier shakes his head. "i'd forget to water them, probably."
liar, jeremiah thinks. for his own safety, he opts to keep his mouth shut, observing the situation with a suppressed smile.
xavier can't even be bothered to hide his infatuation—when he does so much as look at you, his world comes to a halt, his attention fixated wholly on you when usually it drifts off into wonderland.
when he does so much as hear you, or perceive you, or exist with you, xavier shrinks into nothing, permeating wholly into your skin, melting into your bones and becoming a part of you.
forget his title as captain, or lumiere, or crown prince—xavier becomes yours. and that's all he needs to be.
somehow, jeremiah thinks that xavier is more than just a lover.
he's love itself.
rafayel taps his foot impatiently. with his arms crossed, his gaze darts back and forth between the clock and the door, brows furrowing once he realizes you're nowhere to be seen.
"ugh, that bodyguard!" he cries to no one. "always making me wait for this and that.... puh-lease, like i care!"
rafayel turns around and starts heading into the art museum, lips curled into a pout whilst he glances occasionally over his shoulder. eventually, he stops, still trying to discreetly scope out the premises.
they're still not here?! is all he thinks, reaching for his phone with newfound passion. rafayel tries calling you a couple times, somehow getting more and more offended when you don't pick up.
he then resorts to spamming your texts, his phone flailing around in his hands from the onslaught of his madness.
"you think this is just a game, huh?!" rafayel texts. "fine, it is! whatever! not like i care!!!!"
when you don't respond, he blinks owlishly in disbelief, staring at the screen with his mouth hanging agape.
no way they ignored me! rafayel thinks, somehow even more offended than before.
but the irritation nestled in his stomach morphs into worry, and the worry contorts into yearning. oh, rafayel thinks, staring at your contact name for far longer than he'd like to admit. what if something happened to them?
rafayel's imagination eggs his yearning further. what if you're waiting for him somewhere—with nothing but him on your mind, of course—tears spilling from your eyes while crying his name? what if you're injured, clutching your wound whilst thinking of him—and his killer looks—wishing you could see him right now?
oh. rafayel's imagination eggs his yearning further. oh, what if they're injured? he thinks, his fingers beginning to glide all across his phone's keyboard, spamming you like a madman whose lost all sense of reason.
"you don't have to show up," he starts texting, but quickly deletes that sentence. "text me when you see this," he manages to send, hand coming up to fiddle with some stray strands of his wisteria hair.
he feels his heart thrash against his chest like a fish out of water, his skin beginning to feel stuffy while he grasps at his shirt, crumpling the pearl fabric under his hands. what if you're hurt? what if something happened to you? what if you're leaving, and he isn't able to catch up?
rafayel hates waiting. he turns around, heading toward the exit of the museum, ignoring the looks of confusion from the people who just watched him enter and clutch his head manically.
again, rafayel's imagination runs wild, feeding him delusions and convincing him that he's your knight in shining armor, saving you from the clutches of despair. obviously, after he saves you—with his killer looks and killer moves—you're going to grovel at his feet and beg for forgiveness, hoping that he'll spare you so much as a glance for your impudence.
he tries to ignore the way his ribs begin to constrict, the way his chest begins to ignite with agonizing pain. not again, is all he thinks, rushing out of the museum. not again.
rafayel loves you. sometimes, he hates to admit it. sometimes, he knows it's fact. rafayel loves you—how could he not? you are bound to him, no, rather, he is bound to you.
rafayel is bound to you, yet even then, he struggles to keep up. he follows you hopelessly into every incarnation, trailing after your existence like a drowning man at sea, gasping for air and a wisp of your presence. he had you, once. and what a twisted thing love is, to give him so much hope and radiance, that he can't possibly fathom to live without it now.
rafayel is hooked on you, drinking you in greedily with his eyes, searching for you desperately amidst the tides. rafayel is hooked on you, he's left in a constant state of wanting more, more, more, even though you don't feel the same. even though you're perfectly okay with leaving him, oblivious to the effect you have.
you have carved rafayel's being, forcing his hands to be a perfect fit with yours, forcing his eyes to only ever hold you. you've dismembered rafayel's bones, taking apart the shafts and forcing yourself in, your existence running through his marrow, your existence running through his veins.
sometimes, rafayel hates what you've done to him. he hates how he's reduced to a spectator in your presence, the way he's destined to love you despite all you've done to him.
rafayel hates the way you go around, saving everyone, saving everything, even though he was the first. he was your first victim, your first lover, your first everything.
and you've forgotten. and you've forgotten. how could you? sometimes, rafayel envies you. he wishes he could be as blissfully ignorant as you, he wishes he could rendezvous around the world, unaware of what he's done before.
(how could he? how could he ever forget you? how could rafayel ever be anything more than what you've made him?)
he laughs bitterly to himself, running a hand through his hair when your caller id shows up on his phone. rafayel half-considers letting you go to his voicemail, but oh, the way his heart constricts, the way his hands instinctively move to answer.
rafayel isn't like you—he has a heart, first of all—he's made of memories, made of century-old pacts and vows that have haunted him across lifetimes.
rafayel isn't like you, because, first and foremost, he loves. he loves you. he loves you! and oh, how could he not? how could he ever forget what you've done for him? how could he ever forget what you've done to him?
(and yet, he loves you anyway. rafayel loves you, despite the way you betrayed him, despite the way you forgot. rafayel loves you, not only because he was made to love you, but because it's you. does he need any other reason?)
just before your call gets forwarded to voicemail, rafayel picks up. he swallows thickly, letting his yearning drip down his throat, permeating into his organs whilst he says, dreading the way his voice cracks, ever so slightly, "ahem. what took you so long, huh?!"
your voice glitches on the other end. rafayel feels heat rush to the tips of his ears, feeling the way you sound so close to him. he presses the phone closer to his head.
"sorry, rafayel! i was busy,"—rafayel scoffs at this, so is he, you're not special—"but i'm coming right now! just wait for me, okay?"
"ugh! no, i don't wanna! i'm leaving! did you hear that? i'm," rafayel trails off, pausing for extra emphasis (hoping that you'd care enough to interrupt him), "i'm leaaavvii—"
you hang up. rafayel gasps, staring at the end screen with a flabbergasted look.
"no way! ugh! nobody respects me around here! making me wait... who do they think i am? a waiter? the waiter?" rafayel mutters incredulously to himself, sending glares towards anyone who eyes him weirdly.
still, he remains put, crossing his arms with a pronounced frown whilst sunset eyes scan the area, looking for your familiar motorbike.
rafayel waits. begrudgingly.
then again, he supposes he does a lot of that when it comes to you.
he opens your contact one more time. "some bodyguard you are!!!" he texts. "i could be dying right now and you still wouldn't pull up, huh?!?!"
"i'm dying! i'm dying! heeeelllooo?! i'm dying!" he spams. the familiar whirring of a motorbike appears, and rafayel glances up from his phone, horizon eyes growing wide.
rafayel hates the effect you have on him, the way your sudden appearance can bring tsunamis to a lull, the way your sudden appearance makes an utter fool of him.
still, rafayel lets you get away with it.
(you've gotten away with a lot of things.)
"raf!" you call. "quit spamming me!"
when you take your helmet off, rafayel's breath hitches. you steal the oxygen from his lungs, a mere wisp of your existence making the world tumble.
"hmph!" he crosses his arms, hoping you don't see the way his ears bloom a violent red. "don't tell me what to do! do you know how long it's been?!"
"ten minutes?" you reply, unamused. rafayel glares at you.
too long, he thinks, eyes tracing over the bridge of your nose and the curl of your lips. the artist instinct with him begins to flare—he wants to paint, he wants to devote himself to you all over again, drawing tirelessly into the night.
"no. eight-hundred years, you idiot!"
you roll your eyes. "what an exaggeration."
rafayel huffs. "puh-lease! i just say it as it is!"
you start heading towards the museum, and rafayel scrambles to catch up, his throat beginning to close. his heart—whatever's left of it, at least—lurching forward.
it chases you. it chases you! it always, always chases you.
into every life, into every eon. rafayel chases you, desperate and made of memories, hanging onto the depths of your soul, forfeiting the ocean and the tide and all that ever mattered.
then again, rafayel supposes that none of it matters now. you're here.
and even if you don't remember, rafayel will love you anyway.
(how could he not?)
#love and deepspace#love and deepspace mc#love and deepspace x reader#xavier x reader#rafayel x reader#lnds xavier#lnds rafayel#lnds#xavier love and deepspace#rafayel love and deepspace#loveanddeepspace#love and deepspace xavier#love and deepspace x you#xavier x you#rafayel x you
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Ignore if it’s too gross:
But what about poor reader being so terrified of logan while he’s non conning her that she wets herself?
Wet
Taglist Masterlist
Buy Me A Coffee : Kofi : Go Fund Me
Logan Howlett x fem!reader
Summary: as stated above lol
Warnings: piss kink! non con! crying! Mild feet! Almost sufficating!!! Reference to the school but reader is not a student. IDK the lore its a short peice but thats NOT whats happening. Still dark af tho so dont read if thats not your thing.
AN: this essentially the same thing as Cry Harder with Joel so if you love joely, give 'er a go.
A/N: Also anon, its not gross!!!! I dont do this big ones like incest, bestiality or incest ofc, and theres other stuff i dont write but also long as its isnt those first three i aint gonna be pressed. Send away! You're so sweet for asking!!!
450 words
************
He had to shove your face into the mattress before you woke up the whole school.
"Shut up, shut up, shut the fuck up!" Logan growls, flipping you onto your stomach when you were crying too loud. He couldn't have anyone hearing what he was doing to you, but fuck he couldn't take it anymore, the way you pranced around in those tight little tops and hot pants on and up. You wanted this. So why the fuck were you crying?
Face down, Logan pressed your face into the mattress with his foot on your head while his strong arm wraps around your middle to pull you up, cock stretching you open. You could feel his balls slapping against your pussy with every thrust, sobbing into your blankets as he fucked your powerless body. There was nothing to do but cry.
But Logan didn't like that.
"Jesus fucking christ!" He growls, slapping your ass to make you shut up but that just made you yelp more. Logan he wasn't going to let you ruin this for him. He wasn't going to let a warm cunt fuck up by having a mouth. If he was caught, it'd be all over for him.
Logan shifts he weight, leaning more on the foot on your head and shoving you in deeper, and finally your cries were muffled. Even though you were screaming now, body writhing in panic he wasn't stopping, not when he was this close. You were so fucking wet, so fucking warm and fuck, so fucking tight... Fear did that like nothing else.
You pulse around him, contractions of fear rather than an orgasm, and he was about to cum inside you. So fucking close. Ball drawing up, he was growing sick of your screams. You didn't need to fucking breath all the time, you were getting enough air, he was sure. Just being dramatic.
"I said, shut the fuck UP!" Logan punctuated his final word by punching down on the mattress, extending his blades with a *ssshing!*.
A blood curdling scream Logan was sure would be ear piercing if he wasn't half sufficating you erupts into the bed, and suddenly his cock is flooded with a warm liquid. You didn't cum. It sprays out around his dick as it rams into you for a final few times, spreading down both your legs and his as Logan groans, head dropped back in pleasure. So good, so fucking good.
Balls emptied inside you, Logan finally pulls himself out of you and your hips fall to the bed as your face rises, gasping for air.
Logan pulls on his jeans and heads towards the door.
"Quit being so fucking dramatic."
********
Thanks for reading!!!!
Im loving writing Logan. I've gotten several Logan asks on either account and please keep coming! you might get a paragraph, a few paragraphs, or a fic. WHo knows!
If you like triple frontier or tlou, please consider chcking out my other stuff!!
Dont be afraid to join my taglist or follow @romana-updates
@del-ightfulling @hornystan
#logan howlett fanfiction#logan x reader#logan wolverine#logan howlett#hugh jackman logan#hugh jackman#deadpool and wolverine#wolverine#wolverine x reader#wolverine smut#wolverine x you#james logan howlett#logan howlett/reader#logan howlett/you#logan howlett x you#non con#p1ss k1nk#p1ss kink#feet#piss kink
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AAAAA
TDAC X PUPPET!READER
Hear me out
Reader is like puppet from fnaf, their character being very similar to puppet, them having the same voice and powers? Yknow Puppet flies fast as HELL and etc, Reader most of the time stays in the music box, and just gets out when really wanted or needed, for example: when theres an IHA or when someone needs them for something.
TADC x puppet!reader !
ashamed to admit this but i have not touched fnaf outside of security breach, recently at least. the last time i was fully invested in the fnaf lore was when fnaf 4 had just dropped, so im quite literally relying off of your description like its a life line because i know how insane fnaf lore has gotten think imma answer this request then take another short break since my lower back is starting to get sore from sitting all day; gotta go stretch my legs too
CAINE:
you do have your own room, of course, but you tend to usually stay in your music box; of which you came with when you first entered the digital world... which was a little odd, but hey its not the strangest thing that anyone here has seen! i like to think that sometimes caine comes to your box at night and tries to will you out so he can get to know you more. leave it to the ai to fall for the mysterious circus member who rarely leaves their box... i think sometimes he would hum and sing along to the music your box makes
POMNI:
the first time you rush out of your music box it takes her off guard, almost making her fall off her feet when you dash right by her to do... whatever was required of you at that moment in time. if she were being honest, she didnt think you were a real person, she had always assumed that you were an npc; it wasnt unheard of that caine would have npcs stationed about for in house adventures, or to man the carnival..! though i dont think she would interact much with you, considering you rarely interact with the others; what use would it be to pester you?
JAX:
honestly before realizing you literally live and sleep and mostly exist in the music box, he probably puts stuff on top of your box... accidentally trapping you inside it. well, actually trapping wouldnt be accurate because you ended up brute forcing your way out, literally sending everything that was on top of the box flying; scaring just about everyone in the room. imagine trying to find out whos faster; you or jax.. i mean, have you seen how fast jax bolted when they found out koufmo abstracted?
RAGATHA:
always tries to ask you if you want to join in on the in house adventure, she doesnt want you to feel left out or unwelcome; even though most times you willingly back out of the activity. though, she feels relieved and even smiles when you spring out of your box to join in on the action... at least she knows you havent abstracted... brain stimulation is important, you know!
KINGER:
he finds some comfort in the music, slowly but surely as the days pass he moves his pillow fort closer and closer to your box before eventually hes right next to you. sometimes even naps, leaning against it. though he does immediately scamper off when you suddenly lunge out to race towards whoever is calling for you. at least he can count on you to have his back in moments of danger or fear!
ZOOBLE:
usually stays in their own lane, but for one reason or another they need help during an IHA, and their yelps and incoherent speech was enough to catch your attention. be it gloink or otherwise, you obliterate the problem; effectively haunting zooble for the rest of their life by your actions... but hey, it feels... nice, having someone you can rely on
GANGLE:
character who is soft spoken and shy meets character that rarely leaves their box when its not needed or necessary; how could a relationship, romantic or otherwise, be fostered in conditions such as this? oddly enough, the silence between you two brings you together, the music keeping the silence from becoming overwhelming. i like to think that sometimes gangle leaves you little notes, choosing to write rather than verbally speak... best not to ruin that special quiet the two of you have learned to share
#tadc x reader#the amazing digital circus x reader#digital circus x reader#caine x reader#pomni x reader#jax x reader#ragatha x reader#kinger x reader#zooble x reader#gangle x reader
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