#or diamonds for short

[pomefioredove]

now I'm actually invested in this idea. maybe I'll write a full length fic someday idk... for now I have short hcs

parts 1 | 2 | 3 | kalim | bad ending

summary: crowley decides to "give away" yuu to the highest "donation" for financial reasons type of post: headcanons characters: all nrc students additional info: can be read as platonic or romantic, except malleus is pretty romantic, second person pov, yuu is gender neutral, maybe a little ooc I wrote this as soon as I got up

crowley has had his fair share of "what the fuck" moments from you but this was really taking the cake

he acts so... casual about it?

swaggers into ramshackle one morning and says times are tough and your personal expenses are straining the budget so he's decided to "put you in someone else's care"

"The screening process will be vigorous to make sure you end up in good hands!" like you're a cat or something "Your expenses will be covered and you'll have somewhere to go during break!"

okay great. pretty obvious you have no say in this, so you don't even argue. what's the worst that could happen?

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Ace, Deuce, Jack, and Epel find you the next day to say they're pooling their money to buy you

"To what?"

Epel shrugs. "Oh, well Crowley said we need to offer a donation to prove we're capable of supporting you..."

(you think that if not for the laws of this land you would have slaughtered that old fart)

Jack goes on a really long tirade about how shady and underhanded this is, making sure to reaffirm that he believes you should be free to make your own choices

"So you'll let me go once you get me?"

"Uhhh..."

Ace thinks once they buy you you'll have no choice but to do all of his homework for him

Deuce says that's not really how it works- and even if he tried, Riddle would kill him

(they've already gone over this twice before finding you)

Epel happily volunteers to take you home with him over breaks, probably the only positive in this mess

even if he thinks the whole thing is kind of funny

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

incapable of keeping his mouth shut, Ace accidentally spills the plan to Riddle, who is understandably aghast

you can't just give away a person under your care like a toy!

of all the irresponsible things...

of course, he'll have to put up his offer, too

purely for your sake! with a nicer room and a brand new copy of the dorm rules, maybe you'll stop getting yourself into trouble

he's got some family money (doctors, naturally) and considers this a worthwhile purchase, for his sanity and yours

of course, Trey and Cater overhear and may or may not be pooling their own cash for a chance, too

going behind Riddle's back on this is a risky venture, but hey, someone's gotta be on your side, here, right?

I mean, between a bunch of sixteen year old boys, the housewarden, and them, who would you choose?

actually don't answer that

...not that it's much of a secret, anyway. Cater's already got their gofundme equivalent link in bio

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Leona initially plans to have you become a live-in lackey like Ruggie

but then he really starts thinking- and, hey, the possibilities are endless, right?

for one, you'd make a really good pillow

he might have to kick Grim out for your full attention, but you could learn to live with that

and malleus would hate it

...that's reason enough for him

plus, he's got money to burn, so why not?

either way, he sets his bid at a reasonable (maybe too confident) price and sits back to watch the chaos unfold as everyone scrambles for a piece of the pie

news travels fast around school, after all

then Ruggie finds out that you could dethrone him as Leona's #2 and is understandably a little annoyed

that's his cushy post-grad job gig, thank you! he's worked hard for that!

besides, why should Leona get to hoard you? the guy can barely take care of himself!

so, Ruggie ends up outsourcing to a few dozen classmates for the necessary funds at a steep I-owe-you price

he's gonna be eating nothing but dandelions for a while...

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

now, Azul is annoyed

once the news goes school-wide, it's all anyone can talk about

talk about good marketing...

why didn't he think of such a brilliant scam? he could have negotiated with Crowley to have a café brand deal tie-in!

of course, he's already set his bid, with Jade and Floyd offering to pitch in as necessary

it's a risky investment, sure, but a worthwhile one

Azul tells everyone that with the prefect's "obvious" popularity, having them at the café a few nights a week would drive sales through the roof

though that's really just what he says to shirk suspicion

a likely excuse coming from him, though, really, it would just be nice having you around

and if not for his own affections, Floyd's incessant begging and Jade's subtly manipulative comments about "how nice" it would be having a new face around would be enough for him to cave eventually

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

"Kalim, no," is the first thing that Jamil says

"I strongly advise against this. It's another one of Crowley's silly scams and you could end up a target bec- are you even listening?"

hint: he is not

the second Kalim found out that he could get to take in his favorite magicless student like one of his treasures, he was all over it

(AKA infinite sleepovers)

and for what? a little optional donation to prove he's got the funds? he's got cash to spare!

he's already got your new room in Scarabia set up before he even puts his bid in

right next to his of course :)

and despite what Jamil insists, he himself might be working behind the curtain just a little to ensure he's the one who ends up with you

after all, why should Kalim get everything? this might be a valuable learning opportunity for him

You don't always get what you want

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

as much as Epel tries to keep the rest of his dorm from finding out, it's inevitable

he's actually a little surprised that the news didn't get to Vil sooner

with Rook around campus, surely he must have said something...

when Vil does find out, though, he just sighs

oh, of course. what next, will everyone meet each other in the arena and fight to the death over the prefect?

of all the silly, immature things...

oh? what's that? he's bidding anyway? of course he is, silly potato. he can't have some unwashed miscreant making you sleep on polyester bedding

(really, he's the only person on campus worthy of your time)

Rook has also been mysteriously absent from the dorm lately, though his initials on a poem and a strangely large sum of money end up in the donation pile

but really, that could be anyone... Rook would never dare betray Vil again, right?

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Ortho finds out directly from the other first years and sends Idia the details immediately

with a little note of encouragement, of course: "could be excellent for improving your social skills!"

Idia understandably freaks out

"WTF!!!! nooo way! this is a person, not a chatbot we're talking about here! I can barely keep virtual pets alive!!!!"

(liar)

(...but this is still different)

the conversation ends there, but semi-anonymous bid from someone named "gloomurai" gets cashapp'd directly to crowley

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

everyone in the room immediately turns to Malleus

"For the record, I think it's wrong to be bargaining over a human being," Silver says first. "But if anyone could handle it with grace, it's you."

Lilia laughs. "Oh, you're just saying that because you like the prefect so much!"

"Father, you're the one who likes the prefect so much,"

"Oh, right! carry on then. After all, I'm sure we could share,"

Sebek is the only one relatively against the idea, though Lilia luckily manages to get him to lower his voice after his third speech about how you aren't good enough for his liege

Malleus is rather quiet through the whole evening, neither agreeing nor disagreeing with any of the points made

he disappears for a short while, and when he comes back he seems a little more confident

though, of course, he goes to you first

seeing him at Ramshackle in the middle of the night is a familiar and welcoming sight after all of the chaos of your week

and he's in a great mood!

"Child of man! I've come with news," he says. "I have heard of your predicament and have come up with a solution!"

you immediately sulk. "Oh, no. You know I think this whole thing is terrible, right?"

"Yes, Silver mentioned you might not like the idea of being bought and sold like a trinket. But worry not, I do not plan on paying for you in money,"

you pause, at a loss for words, and then tentatively continue. "You're not...?"

"Of course not. What a primitive idea, I was baffled to hear it myself. My proposal will be more traditional: a modest sum of treasure, and a generous amount of livestock and the finest crop Briar Valley can offer,"

certainly he's not this naive, you think

"You really think Crowley is going to accept that over money? I'm pretty sure Kalim just bid away an entire country's worth,"

he laughs. "You speak as if this is some kind of business deal! I'm quite confident that my dowry will be best,"

huh. that was a strange way of putting it

but then again, you still didn't really understand how things work here, so you go along with it

and you allow yourself to relax. he seems confident in his offer, and he doesn't even see you as some kind of prize to win!

"Oh, well, alright. Thanks! I'm glad you're on it,"

he smiles. "Rest assured, child of man, you're in good hands. My dowry will far outshine the others, and the wedding will be even better,"

"I was honestly getting a little nervous for a momen- wait- wedding!?"

[pestorik]

twst cats sketchdump

when im too lazy to draw humans, expect cats

[laynore-x]

Ahh, high school.

Good old times <3.

[villowstar]

paper crowns

[idanielions]

Didn't expect the femslabyuls to get that much attention so here's their original designs before i changed them

[gobs-stuff]

happy pride month 2 them 🏳️‍🌈

[shoechoe]

it was really kind of wild how so many people in the jojo fanbase depicted (and some probably still do depict) rohan as this sassy, flirty, outgoing "slutty" dude in fanon when he acts nothing like that in canon. part 4 shows pretty clearly he avoids everyone when he can get away with it and is just kind of cold and mean (or a total weirdo when he's being intense about something) when he talks to people if anything. i think people just took one look at his design, designated him "twink" and started assigning him traits of a gay stereotype

[signanothername]

When all your friends are +170 cm and you’re here like

[caitchercatlady]

Not Having a Good Time

-Heartslabyul Version

Note: Hey, everyone. So I've had these stories on the back burner for quite a bit, and I do have intentions to work on more than just this one imagines series. I hope you guys like this one nonetheless first <3

Riddle Rosehearts

As much of a stickler Riddle is for keeping the peace, unless it's necessary not to, he can tell when someone is not in the mood for nonsense in the exhausted sense of the word. He will ask to speak with you in private, away from any snickering and gossip.

"Queen's Rule #568: Grievances must be shared over a cup of lavender tea and the griever's favorite treat."

You and Riddle will enjoy this occasion in the quiet side of the garden, where Riddle allows you to rant about your issues as he listens with open ears. Riddle always had Trey and Chen'ya who would listen to his problems, so it was only right as a Housewarden to act upon his position with you, even if you aren't his house student.

He knows it's not the permanent solution, but, while also warning not to tell anyone that this happened, he gives you a hug of comfort, lifting your spirits just a little.

Trey Clover

You have your head to the floor, so you don't notice Trey approaching when you accidentally bump into him and step on the tip of his shoe. Already distressed enough as it is, you apologize profusely. Trey smirks as he replies:

"It is just a shoe, not my mother's flower garden. Why don't you walk with me?"

As Vice Housewarden, the solver of the majority of the dorm's problems and the mediator of all squabbles, it is Trey's natural instinct to approach you the moment he sees the frown on your face. He allows you to express your grievances as you walk through the campus garden.

Trey believes the best way to release stress is a nice baking session. He even lets you do the kneading and taste testing steps.

Cater Diamond

Even though you just want to be alone in Ramshackle Dorm, prior to your return to your dorm, Cater couldn't help but notice how stressful you've felt all week if your account is proof of anything. He couldn't help but send you a DM on MagiCam.

Your latest pic is looking pretty gloomy. If you wanna talk, spam me as much as you like. -CayCay <3

You gladly take the offer since you felt comfortable ranting not face-to-face. You can tell that Cater is reading them by reacting to each message you send with an alternate sad or a heart emoji.

As a peacemaking offering, Cater tells you that if you are ever interested in doing a "Cay Cay pampering session," he'd be at your dorm in half a finger snap to help clear the stress from your mind.

Ace Trappola

When you're not feeling your best, the last you need is someone or something to make it worse. Ace didn't get on your best side as he pulled off the "dunk your face into your lunch" prank today. He didn't react so nicely when you told him off, but after realizing what had gone on prior to that prank, he finds you during flying class to try to make things up for what he did.

"Yuu...what happened at lunch today, I'm sorry. I should've just said, "Hi," and asked how you were doing. I didn't know you were already mad. Please forgive me. If you can't, let me make it up to you somehow."

If Ace wasn't sincere, you supposed he would've waited until after class was over to apologize. Now that he was listening, you let out everything that had been going on before Ace pulled off the prank. You also express the "I message," which Ace is more than willing to accept.

With Vargas busy with...whatever Vargas is doing, Ace offers you to go on a flying ride with him. A little entertainment screaming would do you some good to make you forget about your problems...even just a little.

Deuce Spade

Deuce finds it odd that you've been less chatty as of late. You barely even spoke when the professors pointed to you for answers to their questions. He catches you after class and asks what's happening. He's all ears to hearing you out. That's when you finally respond, and he feels the pain with every word that comes out of you.

"Ah geez, Yuu. I'm really sorry. I think I've been feeling it, too, and when I'm feeling that way, I need a Blastcycle ride. Wanna go on one right now?"

You don't find that to be a bad idea, so you guys head out and take a campus ride to let the issues out of your hair. The island is lovely enough for its wind to brush it right out.

[2-lines-and-a-circle]

Getting hit by a water gun

Notes: A little kid was racing past you two, decided to shoot you both with their water gun. What is his reaction? 

Heartslabyul

Riddle Rosehearts: 

Informs the kid it’s not okay to hit people out of the blue like that. Of course, the kid dislikes getting yelled at and decides to shoot more water at Riddle. Before Riddle can catch them, the kid runs away to their next target. That’s when Riddle notices how soaked you are and uses his magic to dry you both off. 

“Shooting with water guns is not appropriate when you’re attacking strangers. If you want to have fun you must follow the rules of the game, I’m su- *water flies into his face* Heh~ You’ve got quite the nerve kid.” 

Ace Trappola: 

Has a quick flashback to when he used to be that kind of kid and probably still is. Gets an idea and runs into the nearest shop to have his own water gun fight. Calls up the rest of the first years to participate. Losers have to buy everyone a meal at their favorite restaurant. Never drys you off, tells you that the sun will dry if off for you. 

“I’m pretty confident I’ll be sitting in the winner's seat tonight! Hey! Why are you aiming your gun at me like that?!" 

Deuce Spade: 

Thinks it’s Ace at first then notices it was just a little kid. Doesn’t think much of it afterwards but sees how wet the two of you are. Informs you that running will dry you off faster since he heard a rule about it from Riddle a few days ago. The two of you start running along the beach like two idiots instead of two models. 

“Isn’t it nice to run together like this?... Where did you go? *turns his head* _____! Over here!” 

Cater Diamond: 

Checks to see if his phone got splashed before himself, then takes a selfie with you to commemorate such an occasion. You stare in awe as you’ve never seen his hair down before. Cater says the two of you should leave your hair styled like this for the rest of the day. 

“Whatcha think? Leaving our hair like this gives off a totally different vibe than normal.” 

Trey Clover: 

Checks to make sure the two of you aren’t super soaked, much to his dismay both of your clothes are dripping wet. Looks around to spot a nearby store, rushes in to purchase a towel, but just one towel. He’s so busy drying you off that he forgets about his own clothes. 

“My shirt? Don’t worry I’ll try myself off once I’m done getting you all dry.” 

Savanaclaw

Leona Kingscholar: 

Hates getting wet so he’s pretty irritated from getting shot by a water gun. You’re staring pretty intensely at Leona as he looks refreshing as you’ve never seen this side to him before. Asks you to dry him off which is when he notices how you’re both soaked, the two of you decide to walk in the sun to dry yourself. 

“Y’know a way to clean this mess up? … walk around in the sun you say *sigh* let’s find a place to nap then” 

Ruggie Bucchi: 

Doesn’t really mind getting wet as he kind of expected it as he saw the group of kids from earlier. Says that it’s going to be fine and the two of you walk off to the nearest food stall. Due to his reaction the kids came back resulting in a playful reaction from Ruggie as he over exaggerated getting shot from them. Overall reminding him of the kids back from his hometown. 

“Ouch! _____, help me I’m drowning from their attacks! Woah why are you the one taking charge now.” 

Jack Howl: 

Dodges before the water could even touch him, but results in all of the water landing on you instead. Tries to think of the fastest way to get you dried off as possible, fails in response. Eventually you use your own magic to dry off and you use your magic to make a small gust of wind in Jack’s face. 

“Tch, I almost got water on me if I hadn’t moved…? My bad, it seems like all of the water went to you instead.” 

Octavinelle

Azul Ashengrotto:

Thanks to the kid blurring his vision you get the chance to see Azul without any glasses on. You forget about the sticky feeling of wet clothes as you watch Azul clean off his glasses. Once he finishes Azul makes a point that you two need to dry yourself off, so you leave for the NRC. 

“Staying like this is rather unpleasant, who would have thought wet clothes would feel this way. ____, let’s go back to NRC together. I can’t have you staying in those clothes either.” 

Jade Leech: 

Is quite intrigued by the act of shooting water in such a motion, chases down the kid to ask them more questions. As you leave to catch up with Jade you notice how he hasn’t turned into an eel. Curious you ask Jade how and when he turns into one. 

“Curious now, are we? I’ll be glad to show you if you’ll join me in a game of water guns.” 

Floyd Leech:

Also chases down the kid, he too would like to know more about the game unknown to him. Since you were both already wet you two played a few rounds, it was mainly Floyd shooting you though. The only times you managed to get him was when you hid somewhere. 

“__________ !!! Where are ya! If you come out now, I promise I’ll shoot you only once!” 

Scarabia

Kalim Al Asim: 

Looks like a refreshing sea otter. Jamil pops up to help clean up Kalim as he’s drying him off with a handkerchief and some wind magic. Then, Jamil helps you to dry off in no time. At the end of the cleaning, Kalim suggests you three to play a game with the other second years as well. 

“I can’t wait to play with everyone else, right _____! Hmm, Jamil did you say something?” 

Jamil Viper:

After cleaning up Kalim from the mess earlier he’s now roped into a game of water guns. The rest of the second years join in, but Jamil is constantly surrounded by Floyd and you who have teamed up. The same kid from earlier shoots Jamil in the face again, leaving him to be the first one out. 

“Somehow, I feel a sense of deja vu from the unexpected outcome… it’s time to prepare towels for Kalim now.” 

Pomefiore

Vil Schoenheit:

After getting shot Vil checks on himself using a compact mirror, while you anxiously dry him off. Due to the use of your wind magic the two of you now have crazy hair which is all knotted up. Vil isn’t too pleased, but he would much rather stay dry than be a soaking mess. 

“Tell me, does looking like this amuse you? Perhaps it does, you’ve been laughing for a while now.” 

Epel Felmeir:

After joining the rest of the first years in a game of water guns, it’s down to Epel and Jack. In the final battle Epel comes out to be the winner, but in that moment a kid comes out to attack Epel. 

“Ugh! Who shot me! Was it you ___________? I’ll get you, just you wait.” 

Rook Hunt: 

Before the kid can shoot him, Rook closes in on the kid to inform them to not shoot people. Right after Rook has a thorough talk with the kid, he asks you to join in on a game of water guns. Before you can answer he shoots you with one he had hidden away from you. From there the two of you engage in a heated battle. 

“Let’s begin the chase now! I'll be sure to hunt you down beautifully." 

Ignihyde

Idia Shroud: 

Idia’s hair didn’t go out, much to your disappointment. Searching for some way to dry off Idia you were shocked to notice a new spark in him. He was in deep thought about something and before you could notice he walked off. Following Idia, it seemed he had a newfound idea on making a water gun for himself. 

“... What were you expecting to see? Y-you thought my hair was a blue flame this whole time?!”

Ortho Shroud:

Seeing the kid before they could reach you both, you quickly pushed Ortho out of the way. Of course, you ended up being the one soaked in water, thankfully Ortho managed to dry you off. However, he was quite curious about water gun fights, Ortho proceeded to ask if you would engage in one with him.

“Ahaha, you look like a huge mess, but are water guns really that much fun?” 

Diasomnia

Malleus Draconia:

Intrigued by the confidence of the little kid who shot the two of you he chases down the kid to ask to join the game. Much to his disappointment the kid had already been chased down by the twins. Seeing this you propose to play a game together instead, you also invite the fellow third year students who by a miracle say yes. 

“Child of man, if I win against the others will you enjoy a sweet victory with me?” 

Lilia Vanrouge: 

Lilia lets himself get shot by the kid and, similar to Ruggie, entertains the kid who shot him. Joins the kids for a light game of water guns before getting invited to join the third years for a game on their own. Totally owns them and destroys everyone. 

“Oh, dear. Is that all you’ve got to defeat me? I guess that victory dessert is far away from you now.” 

Sebek Zigvot:

Goes off on the kid, but he misses his chance as he takes one good look at you who is also wet. Decides to take off first so the two of you go off to buy some towels to dry off. Inside the store you pick up some ice cream and enjoy some as you walk back to the dorms. 

“Hmm… you didn’t think you would see this side of me. What do you mean? Huh! You think I look like a little kid eating ice cream like this!”

Silver:

Protects you from the water and is dripping wet now. You notice how princely he looks, and he smiles at you saying he’s happy you think that way. Silver’s just happy knowing he protected you from getting soaked by the water. Seeing Silver is already wet, he gets invited by Kalim to join the second years to play with water guns. The two of you happily join the rest. 

“Don’t worry about me, a little water won’t bother me. Huh? You think I’m dripping with good looks. Saying stuff like that… that’s quite a compliment.” 

[btr-rewatch]

The boys in every episode: "Big Time Photo Shoot"

[bettie-may-page]

Bettie Page Standing #538

[ashertickler]

oh don't mind me, just thinking about...

basketball player!Milo

[aquared]

i finally finished them here are my mc kids in theri golf tier ouitfits

the original sprites that everyone and their mother has seen jesus christ thanks for over 700 notes on that btw /gen

ok now look at the new ones

[quintiliusheartripper]

Needed to finalize the t4t voice and claw of koda and here they are.