#or consort prince cause we Stan

[acourtofquestions]

“Can I hold you?”

[chaifootsteps]

‘Sup, Chai! Studio Anon back at it again at their ramblings- tonight I’m feeling spicy, so why not talk about that once couple Viv’s stans froth at the mouth over: Stolitz.

I never really understood much of the appeal. Like- the trope of the commoner and the royal are fun to mess with, but those couples could work if you set them on equal grounds. There’s already a clear power dynamic set with those, so either find a solid middle area where the two could connect (ex. A runaway prince meets a cunning thief, an exiled prince meets a hermit, etc.) but you could work with the boundaries the relationship has so long as you can develop it.

But, uh- exactly where is that in Stolitz?

Stolitz already starts with an abusive power dynamic (yknow, the whole deal with the full moon and all it gross details) and it doesn’t do much to remedy that after. Stolas is a high, rich asshole who uses his status to fuck with/generally just fuck Blitz and that’s it. We never get to hear how Stolas does anything else with him- but Viv wants us to believe they care about each other? How?

Like, a scene, a moment, a glance into what those two act like without the guise of sex. And no, Ozzie’s doesn’t count since Blitz only brought Stolas along to get into the club (which is pretty fucking weird, btw. it’s a sex club, why is it just for monogamous couples? not really my point but yeah that’s weird.) and Stolas wanted to get Blitz to fuck him after so. There’s that.

It generally would’ve been better if they played up the power imbalance to really sell a more mature theme. I’m pretty sure they wanted something darker, so why not reinforce that power imbalance? Instead of Stolas being this “uwu soft baby owl boy” we could play him up as being a prince of hell. He’s immortal, he’s likely had several heirs but they’ve all died out (he’s probably outlived them but because Octavia looks so much like him he could coddle her in a sick, narcissistic way.) and only wants some fun in his life out of his boring work (which we never really see in the show, so I never really understood his placement).

Then, comes in Blitz.

Blitz, a runaway from the circus and wanting to start a new life by doing the impossible (starting a business is unheard of by imp standards iirc) and needs the book to get it going. How did he hear of the book? Hell if I know. It just happens, and he ends up sleeping with Stolas and admitting to his consort-wife he fucked him.

Stella in this pseudo-rewrite would also have a lot going on for her.

She knows she’s just another consort in a long list of others that Stolas had only to keep with heirs, but she wants her life to be meaningful. She wants to be a good mother. She wants to have a good life. She wants that high status Stolas likes to abuse so much because she’s been abused herself, by Stolas. She’s an asshole, sure, but it’s not like Stolas cares. It’s a loveless marriage, I’m sure everyone knew that.

But to be publicly embarrassed that an imp wormed his way into their bed (and Stolas, just for his imp fetish and excitement keeps Blitz around) causes a meltdown.

Then Stolas starts to see his world crash and burn as his once “obedient and boring” wife divorces him and wants custody of the child he so “adores”, IMP perhaps getting into earthly trouble due to their sloppy kills or misuse of the grimoire, and the goetia family beginning to finally gain emotion and life as Stolas’ life goes upside down.

But he doesn’t ever blame himself. He blames Stella, blames the family- hell, probably even blames Blitz because he doesn’t care about him more than just sex.

And that’s the only thing he really has a grasp on.

His impish little plaything.

JUST. Just imagine if that’s what Stolitz was: an unhealthy display of power and obsession. I’ve recently found some enjoyment writing these sorts of messed up power dynamics (similar to what I’ve written above but it’s a lot messier) and it kills me that Viv shows us a rape deal and expects us to go, “Wow!!! Such cute and wholesome gays!!!!” Like that was normal.

Use what you have, Viv. Make it fucked up. If you didn’t want your uwu yaoi ship to be so toxic, maybe rewrite it?

also ngl Stolas and Blitz designs make them look like they’re from two different shows and generally look ugly to me so the amount of ship art I’ve seen of those two make me laugh. like pick an attractive couple to make fanart and fanchildren for jfc. it’s sad.

This is a great writeup. It's frustrating how little it would take to make these two interesting, to make them likeable, but Viv just...doesn't.

[bohemian-nights]

Imagine building a “ship” based on rumours 🤡 that explains why you are so miserable, dumb and obsessed with Daemyra😂 Matt Smith just said that no one can trust mushroom at comic con few days ago 😂 Daemyra is everything you crave for your deranged (self-inserted👀) 🚢

You feel better now? Come off anon and say it with your whole chest if you do not. I promise I will not bite🤗

Now let’s get into your deeply flawed accusations, shall we😊:

1. Daemon and Nettles’ romantic relationship is based on more than just rumors (Mushroom is not the only source despite you people falsely claiming that he is). I know that you Dumbnyra, my apologies, Daemyra stans are a little slow so let me break it down for you:

In both Fire & Blood and in The Rise of the Dragon (left passages) Maester Norren’s(who was there with them at Maidenpool unlike Mushroom) testimony is used to support the claim that Daemon and Nettles were lovers.

Of course, I know that you are going to say that Maester Norren is the same one who mentions Daemon doting on Nettles like a daughter, but what man bathes with his grown daughter or someone who he sees as his daughter? I also know that you’ll spout out some bull crap about how in The Wheel of Time two friends bathed together and it was platonic. Don’t do that.

I want you to show me a piece of media where a father(or father figure) is bathing naked with his grown adult daughter and it wasn’t considered creepy and weird🙃

Would you consider it normal if Rhaenyra bathed with Corlys 🙃 Or better yet, would you take a bath with your father or a fatherly figure at the age you are now 🙃 Is that what you do for father daughter bonding time ☺️

Furthermore, in Fire & Blood, Lord Mooton’s brother(top right passage) makes note of how fond Daemon is of Nettles. Fond enough that the man who murders family members including children for his own advancement would fight through sixty men, burn down a castle, and would lay his life down for Netty.

Daemon chooses to put Nettles first, disobeying his beloved wife’s orders(remember she wanted him back by her side in Kings Landing not going after Aemond by himself) and betraying her trust causing her to ultimately lose the war and her life:

“Long leagues to the north, in a castle overlooking the Bay of Crabs, another lord found himself sliding down a sword’s edge as well. From King’s Landing came a raven bearing the queen’s message to Manfryd Mooton, Lord of Maidenpool: he was to deliver her the head of the bastard girl Nettles, who had been judged guilty of high treason. “No harm is to be done my lord husband, Prince Daemon of House Targaryen,” Her Grace commanded. “Send him back to me when the deed is done, for we have urgent need of him.” -Fire & Blood

“By evenfall, Rhaenyra Targaryen found herself sore beset on every side, her reign in ruins. “The queen wept when they told her how Ser Lorent died,” Mushroom testifies, “but she raged when she learned that Maidenpool had gone over to the foe, that the girl Nettles had escaped, that her own beloved consort had betrayed her, and she trembled when Lady Mysaria warned her against the coming dark, that this night would be worse than the last.” -Fire & Blood

In The World of Ice & Fire (in the above bottom right passage) Nettles is unquestionably recognized as being Daemon’s lover.

In the Novella The Princess and the Queen Daemon and Nettles are said to be lovers:

“Long leagues to the North in a castle overlooking The Bay of Crabs, another lord found himself sliding down a sword’s edge as well. From King’s Landing came a raven bearing the queen’s message to Manfryd Mooton, Lord of Maidenpool. He was to deliver her the head of the bastard girl Nettles who was said to become Prince Daemon’s lover.”

Lastly, we also have this little piece of media where Nettles is once again stated to be Daemon’s lover.

I can not reiterate this enough, none of the above sources cite Mushroom’s testimony as evidence for Daemon and Nettles being lovers and Daemon loving Nettles. We are not making sh!t up or basing Daemon and Nettles’ relationship off of Mushroom’s salacious tales. They are claimed to be lovers in every(because once again despite in Fire & Blood Maester Norren saying Daemon doted on Nettles like a daughter he is the one providing evidence for their sexual and romantic relationship) single edition of the story.

2. HOTD and shipping Daemon and Nettles is my hobby. The only time I talk about your ship is in defense of my ship or if someone is asking me about your ship.

That being said, while this is a hobby, I’m not going to turn a blind eye to the blatant anti-Blackness and misogynoir that is rife in this fandom. Misogynoir that is perpetuated mainly by your side of the fandom, so what you are not going to do is come for me because I call you people out on your bs.

What we are not going to do is act like I came out the gate swinging for your ship when I did not. You people are actively making Black fans' experience in fandoms(which is supposed to be a fun space) unenjoyable because we either have to ignore your racism or make posts like these defending ourselves on why we say what we say or ship what we ship. So save your miserable, dumb, deranged, and obsessed accusations for the people who are spouting out this bull crap:

3. Matt was referring to the rumors that Daemon and Alicent had an affair in The Rogue Prince novella (these rumors were cut from Fire & Blood):

He was not referring to Daemon and Nettles’ relationship. You would know that if you were actually paying attention, but I understand that the facts are not your side of the fandom’s forte. I understand that y’all would rather make up bs to prop up your sinking ship than hear the cold hard truth 🤷🏽‍♀️

At any rate, the show has already incorporated some of Mushroom’s bawdy tales (notably the brothel fiasco😊):

And I don’t think I need to remind you he’s not the only one who mentions Daemon and Nettles’ relationship(revisit point 1. if you need that reminder 😊)

4. There is nothing about your ship that I want for my ship because I don’t crave this for Daemon and Nettles:

Or this:

Or this:

(This is the fate that awaits your self insert, who is a racist sociopath that thinks the appropriate response to finding out your husband is with someone you deem as being lesser is to go on a racist tirade and commit a hate crime , when the love of her life leaves her on read while saving Netty🤷🏽‍♀️)

I sincerely hope that Daemon and Nettles’ romantic relationship is nothing like your ship and I hope that we get to see this come to life:

“How the prince and his bastard girl spent their last night beneath Lord Mooton's roof is not recorded, but as dawn broke they appeared together in the yard, and Prince Daemon helped Nettles saddle Sheepstealer one last time. It was her custom to feed him each day before she flew; dragons bend easier to their rider's will when full. That morning she fed him a black ram, the largest in all Maidenpool, slitting the ram's throat herself. Her riding leathers were stained with blood when she mounted her dragon, Maester Norren records, and "her cheeks were stained with tears." No word of farewell was spoken betwixt man and maid, but as Sheepstealer beat his leathery brown wings and climbed into the dawn sky, Caraxes raised his head and gave a scream that shattered every window in Jonquil's Tower. High above the town, Nettles turned her dragon toward the Bay of Crabs, and vanished in the morning mists, never to be seen again at court or castle.” -Fire & Blood

Or this(which has more of a real possibility of happening than Dumbnyra, oops I mean Daemyra, riding off into the sunset together since your fave turns into a BBQ Dragon special 🍗):

“The singers tell us that the old prince survived the fall and afterward made his way back to the girl Nettles, to spend the remainder of his days at her side.” -Fire & Blood

And of course this:

Again, if you guys think Dumbnyra, sorry, Daemyra is some epic romance then honey you are watching the wrong show/reading the wrong book. Daemon choking Rhaenyra’s lights out hours after she gave birth to lizard alone should have told you everything you need to know.

Nettles is coming whether you like it or not so you can go cry about it with the rest of the butthurt Aryan-I mean Valyrian supremacist girlies ☺️

[baekhvuns]

The most common avo types are Lula and Hass, the latter is better also depends on how ripe it is. It definitely taste grassy, but if you spice it up then ut can be good. Why am I giving you avo 101 lol

I'm kinda a hag, but I don't understand "fans" like this, they're embarrassing. Everyone can be a fan regardless of age and they should always be respectful. But if you're 25+ you should definitely know better. Also the younger ones, no school? Can just fly everywhere and show up at ass crack of dawn to take some photos???

Alright alright spoilers incoming. I don't know everything, but the first kid (a daughter) is with... Ranamun lol. But Latil didn't bond with her. Now she's pregnant again and people are like, is it Sonnaught's, is it Tasir's? Soooo essentially Mr Knight continued to be emotionally constipated then got broody and something happened to him once he killed some Angel that changed his demeanour? But then Latil told him she'd have sex with him if he promised to join the Harem, he agreed, they did the deed, but during the consort ceremony he was like "sorry, no" so he pretty much betrayed her, I hope the kid isn't his. 🔪 Tasir on the other hand, bestie if you wanna read something about him and Latil then I reccomend this excerpt 👀 and they're so cuuuute. I hate that they changed Flounder to Halibut in the eng webtoon. Also some new guys have joined the gang, but idc

RM x Mbappe saga felt never-ending, but oh well... I wonder who's winning 3rd place, I'll be busy though cause it's an early match

Omfg that's so cool, the mini disc?! You're right, Orbits are boycotting by not buying many albums, but I bet most will turn up to listen to the songs. Yikes? The girls look great in suits though 😭

Girl I work from home and basically have no neighbours at least not that I know of ahsgajsgajsgsb also don't want any bitches. The only neighbour I care about is a black cat who lives on the ground floor, I love him 💖 But I can be in an ETL with fictional Seonghwa, no problem. So the cousin is both ETL and workplace romance 🙉

Hongjoong revisited his red hair, so blue Hong next plsssss.

Unfortunately people need to realise that the line distribution can't really be equal most of the time, it should be fair though. Or members should at least shine in other areas. Kpop stans lack common sense, what's new 🔫

When people say Seonghwa is the normal one, they clearly didn't see THAT edit lmao. There are so many song parallels between ATZ and DC, Deja Vu, Wonderland... both have interesting lore 😭 and shared producers too. So sad Leez left Edenary though, he's good

The autotune in Paradigm killed me, once I heard Hwa I was like??? I saw a tweet that said "omfg, Hwa's range I never heard him sing like that!!!" bestie... that's Robo-Hwa lmao. The chorus is very messy, the instrumental is too loud. Yunho and San got good parts, it's a shame the whole song is weird as hell, but most people love it so 🤐 hopefully the new one isn't such a mess...

Good question 👁👁 Personally bandaged Seonghwa awakened something in me, oiling sounds good even though I don't like the feeling of oil very much. I think I'll go with the bandage wrapper. I can oil his arms afterwards though

Lmao the red carpet looks are always boring black. But Ateez covering Shinhwa??? That wasn't on my bingo card :o DEMON KING HWA OPENING

SM is freeing EXO, finally! So happy for you and my Exo-l flatmate!

Vampire prince Seonghwa back at ittttttt. Baeks it's a sign, boxer Hwa actually needs to happen...... hear me out, their make up! And if we see it on Seonghwa then whatttt. Come on blue + gemstones would match so well with his icy hair. And the vooooooiceeeeeee. Also his fit reminds me of this white outfits PK performance - DV 💖

hello!!

The most common avo types are Lula and Hass, the latter is better also depends on how ripe it is. It definitely taste grassy, but if you spice it up then ut can be good. Why am I giving you avo 101 lol

AVO 101 GRKWHDKW LMFAOOO 😭😭 I would actually sign for this class <3 im assuming the midterm is on the nutritional benefits of avocados?? 25% of the grade? u bet 🫡

I'm kinda a hag, but I don't understand "fans" like this, they're embarrassing. Everyone can be a fan regardless of age and they should always be respectful. But if you're 25+ you should definitely know better. Also the younger ones, no school? Can just fly everywhere and show up at ass crack of dawn to take some photos???

no yeah, like bro u don’t got anything else to do? id be working and getting money not going on twt to go constantly shit on someone come on 😭😭😭 exactly! be a respectful person regardless of ur age bc how hard is that, tbh why’s everyone so bitter after the rona 😭😭🤚🏼 NO SERIOUSLY GIRLIES UR 17YO FOLLOWING WHOLE ASS ADULT MEN LIKE UR GRADES??? EXAMS??? HELLO???

Alright alright spoilers incoming. I don't know everything, but the first kid (a daughter) is with... Ranamun lol. But Latil didn't bond with her. Now she's pregnant again and people are like, is it Sonnaught's, is it Tasir's? Soooo essentially Mr Knight continued to be emotionally constipated then got broody and something happened to him once he killed some Angel that changed his demeanour? But then Latil told him she'd have sex with him if he promised to join the Harem, he agreed, they did the deed, but during the consort ceremony he was like "sorry, no" so he pretty much betrayed her, I hope the kid isn't his. 🔪 Tasir on the other hand, bestie if you wanna read something about him and Latil then I reccomend this excerpt 👀 and they're so cuuuute. I hate that they changed Flounder to Halibut in the eng webtoon. Also some new guys have joined the gang, but idc

look…ranamun was a underrated etl, idc he was just constantly jealous to the point their ‘small’ banter was >> im sorry a daughter w him.

when is sonnaught’s turn to be a dad. i need him to go at it NOT FUCK EVERYTHING UP WHAT IS HE DOING 😭😭😭😭 why did he betray her, does he give a reasonable reason. bc then I will forgive him.

TASIR AND LATIL GETTING IT ONNNNN FUCK IT UP THQKDBQLDHQL new guys?? come on we couldn’t get enough of these ones 😭😭 does klein get a chance 😭🤚🏼

RM x Mbappe saga felt never-ending, but oh well... I wonder who's winning 3rd place, I'll be busy though cause it's an early match //// Omfg that's so cool, the mini disc?! You're right, Orbits are boycotting by not buying many albums, but I bet most will turn up to listen to the songs. Yikes? The girls look great in suits though 😭

i do wonder too! morocco’s defense sent french to the hospital, what are they gonna do to croatia 😭😭 modrić vs hakimi phewww also brkwhd I think i cried laughing at this but richarlison got pele and neymar and his face tattooed on his back and 😭😭 neymar sent him like 26k to get his face removed bc he didn’t like it 😭😭😭🤚🏼

THE MINI DISK IS GENIUS??? SM’S ON ANOTHER LEVEL ??? no yeah ppl will def turn up for the videos bc they wanna see what their company did for sure, WOMEN IN SUITS >>>>

Girl I work from home and basically have no neighbours at least not that I know of ahsgajsgajsgsb also don't want any bitches. The only neighbour I care about is a black cat who lives on the ground floor, I love him 💖 But I can be in an ETL with fictional Seonghwa, no problem. So the cousin is both ETL and workplace romance 🙉

see u work from home, and u don’t go out often right how would u know if u don’t have a very hot neighbour on ur floor 🧍🏻‍♀️<3 bitchless for life anon 😭😭 OMG NO WAY STOP IT CHECK WHO’S PET THAT IS U NEVER KNOW FJWKVD. how we will live life atp with no one to experience this with

now, etl workplace with a mix of rivalry are u saying, ur cousin is really living the yn life, i bet they both attractive as hell too 😭 STOP IT THIS IS MAKING ME SCREAM !!!!! EMQHDKQJCHAK

Hongjoong revisited his red hair, so blue Hong next plsssss. //// Unfortunately people need to realise that the line distribution can't really be equal most of the time, it should be fair though. Or members should at least shine in other areas. Kpop stans lack common sense, what's new 🔫

IF HONGJOONG A MOOT HE NEEDS TO SEE THIS, the cerulean blue on him wowzie. yeah! a person’s not only contributing just to the lyrics, there’s sets to the adlibs, harmonies and yeosang’s deeper voice is def mixed and used for underlying harmonies! the contribution is equally done 😭😭 like come on we don’t know what’s happening back there + he’s getting more lines now! AND I NEED IT TO STOP BC THAT DEEP VOICE OF HIS RHAKHEQKDJKWH I WILL PERISH

When people say Seonghwa is the normal one, they clearly didn't see THAT edit lmao. There are so many song parallels between ATZ and DC, Deja Vu, Wonderland... both have interesting lore 😭 and shared producers too. So sad Leez left Edenary though, he's good

THEY REALLY DIDNT SBDKWHD HES NOWHERE NEAR THE NORMAL U THINK HE IS ,,, no bc drop the lore book kq 😭 pls,, YEAH LEEZ LEFT JUST LIKE THAT???? 🔫🔫

The autotune in Paradigm killed me, once I heard Hwa I was like??? I saw a tweet that said "omfg, Hwa's range I never heard him sing like that!!!" bestie... that's Robo-Hwa lmao. The chorus is very messy, the instrumental is too loud. Yunho and San got good parts, it's a shame the whole song is weird as hell, but most people love it so 🤐 hopefully the new one isn't such a mess...

Good question 👁👁 Personally bandaged Seonghwa awakened something in me, oiling sounds good even though I don't like the feeling of oil very much. I think I'll go with the bandage wrapper. I can oil his arms afterwards though

this entire passage i agree with, unfortunately this one didn’t hit, the autotune excuse get’s overshadowed by “they sing it live and they sound better like this!” idc 😭😭 if i don’t like the song i don’t think it’ll make a different if it’s live or not bc the background instrumental is still the same! just didn’t hit as much for me for the points u mentioned above, the beat drop is messy- bc their vocals harmonize so prettily but the drop is just going 📉📉📈📉📈📉📈📉📈📉 i think ateez need to bring back some dazzling light type of songs, it was pretty and the beat HIT along with the vocals,, BANDAGING SOUNDS BETTER NGL THE OIL WOULD JUST FEEL WEIRD TO PUT ON BC ITS STICKY 😭😭 and then the smell stays on the entire day fhwkdh

Lmao the red carpet looks are always boring black. But Ateez covering Shinhwa??? That wasn't on my bingo card :o DEMON KING HWA OPENING ////// SM is freeing EXO, finally! So happy for you and my Exo-l flatmate!

THEIR LOOKS. SEONGHWAS HAIR. SEONGHWA CULLEN. this is the king hwa anon, im about to start writing

sm letting exo breathe 😭😭😭 THE WAY WE BEEN THRU SO MUCH AND THEY SAY THAT FUCKASS WE ARE ONE SLOGAN 😭😭COMEBACK COMING 😭😭🤚🏼 BAEKHYUN RETURNING IN 49 DAYS IM GEQKHDWK READY TO FIGHT FOR THE TICKETS a very slutty santa for the good return of baekhyun bc that means taemin’s coming too

Vampire prince Seonghwa back at ittttttt. Baeks it's a sign, boxer Hwa actually needs to happen...... hear me out, their make up! And if we see it on Seonghwa then whatttt. Come on blue + gemstones would match so well with his icy hair. And the vooooooiceeeeeee. Also his fit reminds me of this white outfits PK performance - DV 💖

hear me out. if i writer boxer hwa next instead of the series what do u prefer fbwndb bc a ballerina reader x a boxer 👀👀 pretty promising if u ask me <33 STOP THEY LOOK SO GOOD, THE WHOLE ICE PRINCE THING WOULD FIT HWA WITH THE HAIRSTYLE HE HAD AT THE SBS WITH BLUR RHINESTONES ON HIS FACE STOP IT, WE NEED A PHOTOSHOOT RIGHT NOW

I WILL GIVE U 3 OPTIONS TO CHOSE FROM FOR THE NEXT AU BUT I NEED TO FINISH THIS SHITTY FIC FIRST 😭😭

omg he was actually so fire here i can’t believe i never looked at him twice 😭😭

AAANDDDD

hello

[hunxi-after-hours]

pls spare some thoughs about liyang zhang gongzhu 🙏🏼 especially her relationship with xie yu. i would think that after all he has done to her, she'd feel some resentment towards him at least but to me it seemed as if she'd made peace with all of his reprehensible actions (forcing their marriage, attempt to kill her son?? + more) and loved him. moreover she seemed to always put xie yus interests above all and the one time she didn't, she asked HIM if he hated her.

(shakes out wrists) all right we want to talk about Liyang??? let’s talk about Liyang!!!

so! I’ve been thinking about how important it is to have a multiplicity of femininities portrayed when we write complex and nuanced female characters. Yes, LYB has its share of warrior princesses (Mu Nihuang, Yuwen Nian), but it also has its brilliant strategists (Qin Banruo), talented musicians (Gong Yu), government agents (Xia Dong), experienced doctors (Consort Jing). The women of the cast can be incredible forces of steel-willed determination (Consort Jing again, we stan), filled to the brim with deception and cunning (Consort Yue), torn between complex loyalties and feelings (Junniang), proud and resentful (Empress Yan), demure and loving (Xie Qi), fierce and independent (Lady Han), timid and compassionate (Consort Hui), saccharine and sly (Xiao Xin), caring and obedient (Prince Yu’s consort), righteous and devoted (Lady Zhuo). We get such a wonderful variety of women from various stages of marriage, class, social role, and agency in this show, which is nothing short of a miracle, considering how male-dominated the plot is.

Now let’s talk about Liyang. Liyang, proud and dignified. Liyang, restrained and demure. Liyang, iron-willed and ferociously protective. Liyang, who becomes the voice of the wronged in the final judgment.

Here’s the thing about imperial daughters--their lives are not their own to do with as they please. Their greatest contribution, by virtue of their birth and sex, will be to cement alliances: with foreign states, to keep war at bay for a few more years; with domestic ministers, to secure the loyalties of powerful men to the throne. It’s not great, but it’s the reality of being royal in a feudal society.

There’s a subplot, early on in the novel, that was cut from the show: that of Princes Jingning, the younger sister of all the princes. She is kind, principled, lovely, compassionate; Xiao Jingyan, in particular, is fond of her, which might be the strongest testimony to her character. However, a recent diplomatic treaty with Nanchu calls for an exchange of princesses: a princess from Nanchu would marry a Da Liang prince, and in return, Princess Jingning would go to Nanchu, leaving behind home and family, to cement the alliance.

Mei Changsu intervenes to ensure that the Nanchu princess does not marry Xiao Jingyan. He does nothing to stop the overall marriage of alliance, no matter how much Jingning pleads with her brother, no matter how little Jingning wants to leave, no matter that Jingning already likes someone, a young man of intelligence and virtue whom she can never marry because his rank is far below that of an imperial princess.

Are we seeing the parallels?

This isn’t to justify the feudal practices of arranged marriage, or the pre-modern perception that the worth of a woman was her ability to marry and bear children, but it is the reality many of our female characters face in this show. 

And so--for Liyang, in her youth, to have the sheer audacity to fall in love with a hostage prince? To not only plead to marry him--a man likewise below her station, though this time for reasons of international diplomacy rather than social class--but also to already be pregnant with his child? Holy heck, the scandal that would have caused would have raised total hell. Liyang needed to be married off, and married off quick--thus, her hasty betrothal and marriage to Xie Yu by any means necessary.

Again--this is not great. This is extremely yikes. This is also feudal society, with feudal social mores about gender and propriety. What choice does Liyang have?

(I also think it’s worthwhile to note that the narrative treats this whole affair with both desperation and muted terror. We see women from across the rear palace come together to defend Nihuang as best as they can from the same fate. Also, from the bottom of my heart, fuck Consort Yue)

At the end of the day, Xie Yu is not the worst person Liyang could have been married to--at the time, sure, his rank was far below what would’ve been proper for an imperial princess. But with the revelation of the Chiyan conspiracy, he becomes one of the most powerful military commanders in the state. The shock of their initial marriage vanishes in the wake of treason, and over the years, people come to see the two as perfectly-paired. 神仙眷侣, Consort Jing says in episode 4. A divine couple. A match made in heaven, one might go so far to translate.

Because here’s the thing about Xie Yu--he loves Liyang. Even after decades of marriage, he loves her so deeply, so ardently, that Jingrui’s Worst Birthday Party only ends because she intervenes. Liyang puts a blade to her own neck, and Xie Yu calls it all off, because Xie Yu loves Liyang more than he loves his own power.

Does this excuse Xie Yu’s actions? Does this make anything he does okay? Absolutely fucking not, holy shit. But. But. Think about this from Liyang’s perspective. She’s married to a man--not one she loves, but one who loves her dearly--of considerable power and means to provide for her. He holds nothing but kindness, and respect, and appreciation for her in his heart. She could have done much, much worse--she could have been married off to a different state, to live out the rest of her days in solitude and loneliness, far from her home. She could have been stripped of rank, demoted to commoner, for her impropriety and scandal. She could have been forced to give up her child--the one thing of her love she has left to hang onto--through whatever method her mother deemed appropriate. Liyang had always known that her marriage would be the most important thing about her--is her situation, then, so bad?

(Again, say it with me--fuck feudal society and its notions about female worth.)

What else is Liyang to do? She can’t reform an entire society and its Confucian values on her own; where would she even start? She can’t exactly run away, either; her identity is too public, her person too important--imperial troops would find her and drag her back within days. Could she decide to give up her secular life, to shave her head and live out the rest of her days in a Buddhist nunnery? Certainly--but would that really be better than her situation now? Is that what she truly wants out of life?

So she buckles down. She gets to work. She tightens her jaw and makes something livable out of the wreck of her life. She raises two sons and a lovely daughter. She gets by; some days, she thinks, looking at her children, she might even be happy.

(and then Mei Changsu comes to the capital and brings all of it crashing down in a single, horrific night)

Does Liyang love Xie Yu? Did Liyang ever love Xie Yu? This is a complicated question--what does it mean to love someone? It doesn’t mean marrying them, that’s for certain. It doesn’t mean building a life together with them, under the expectations and demands of society. You can attend public events and functions with someone without loving him; you can help someone out of his clothes in the evening and lay down in the same bed without loving him. You can build a house, a home, a family with someone, all without loving him.

Liyang forces Xie Yu’s surrender, and doesn’t regret it. She brings all of his desperate ploys to mask the truth to a screeching halt, and doesn’t regret it. She saves her sons, her friends, and doesn’t regret it.

But after she’s tied up those loose ends, secured political asylum for the Zhuo family, held one of her nephews at knifepoint, she comes back to Xie Yu and asks if he hates her.

What a question. What a question. In that question is hidden decades of polite, frigid marriage; of resentment on her end, for forcing her into a relationship she never wanted. Of resentment on his, that she never loved him, that her son out of wedlock remains in the world to this day, taunting him, reminding him that before Liyang was his, she had been someone else’s. 

I don’t think Liyang asks this question because she loves him and desperately needs to know the answer; I think Liyang asks this question because they have lived hand-in-hand, side-by-side, for twenty years now, and she has foiled his grand plans, had a hand in his downfall.

I think she asks because she genuinely wants to know. She cares for him, whatever that means; she cares just enough to offer him a knife, a dignified death, a way out. She wants to know what he was thinking, how he could ever have justified this to the Xie ancestors, what can be done to salvage the tattered remains of their family. Liyang does not have to love Xie Yu to love her children, and in this moment, it’s the future of her children that she cares about the most.

Liyang learned long ago that the dreams and ideals and passions of youth were nothing more than fragile illusions, dissolving, insubstantial, like mist in the sun. The only thing you can truly hold onto is family, and so, she holds onto her own, protects them with a violence and a fury and a ferocity that once belonged to a willful princess who nearly eloped with a foreign hostage prince.

Liyang is proud, and she is protective, and so, when the new crown prince and Mei Changsu make a monumental request of her, she refuses. Who is Mei Changsu to her? The agent of the downfall of the noble house of Xie, the one who befriended her son and then used him as a political pawn. What is the Chiyan conspiracy to her? A bloody massacre, months of terror, years of silenced grief.

Liyang has been beaten down for years, forced to keep up appearances, smile mildly when appropriate, make nice with other ladies of the court. The years have worn away at that proud, defiant spirit of her youth. Liyang has been downtrodden for so long, it takes her some time to recall what it is like to stand up again.

But oh--the risks. The danger of it. The possibility that she might lose what little of her family she has left. Could you imagine walking into the party of the most powerful man in the state, intent on ruining it with such a terrible truth? Could you imagine remaining composed, dignified, in the face of your brother as he screams for guards to drag you away, knowing exactly what violence and ruthlessness he is capable of? Could you face down the guilt and complicity of the man you were married to for twenty years, carry out this request knowing the disgrace and danger the unmasking of the Chiyan Conspiracy could bring to your sons?

Liyang has every right to refuse this calling. Even Jingrui--Xiao Jingrui, the best of them all, by none other than Mei Changsu’s assessment--absolves her of any blame.

She does not. 

She holds her head high, a letter in her hands, and walks straight into a revolution with her eyes open.

[oxiosa]

This is the ask for you to endlessly rant about the capri AU in case you decide to. I’m dying for that au

LMAO THAT SETTLES THEN TUMBRL RANT IT IS

Ok so the universe is pretty much just a mush of the Cisplatine War (with some historical changes) + some Capri elements I kindly borrowed from Mrs. Pacat. So it is a bit of a mess between historical fiction and fantasy. I’ll start setting some of the fic foundations universe and history wise before I jump into current events, get comfy ‘cause this is gonna get LONG

Martín is the only Heir to the Argentinean Crown. He takes his role as prince quite seriously; he wants to make his father and his country proud. His people love him unconditionally, but it is more a star-struck sense of deep admiration. They see him high up on this unreachable golden pedestal like some sort of knight in a shiny armour with a choir of angels behind him.

Luciano is the Heir to the Brazilian Crown, but unlike Martín he is not an only child. He is the oldest male son, but he has siblings – I only have Angola as his far-more-competent older sister in mind at the moment, but I’m particularly interested in giving him younger siblings (lusofam stans hit askbox pls). Luciano is far more relaxed about his prince role, which makes him far more approachable than Martín. As expected, this makes him very popular among his people, who have a very dear fondness over their young kind handsome prince.

Sebastián is the son of the Duke of Uruguay, so no, he’s not Martín’s brother by blood but actually his cousin. They were raised together and have a very close bond, which is why they think of each other in terms of brothers. Sebas had a bit of rocky life; he spent most of his childhood with Martín, until Brazil occupied Uruguay and he and his family were taken as prisoners by the Empire. Since they were royalty, it was a privileged captivity, it’s not like they threw them into dungeons, they just weren’t allowed to leave the palace or contact Argentina. During those years, Sebastián met Luciano and they became close friends. Eventually Argentina reclaimed Uruguay and Sebastián and his family returned to Buenos Aires.

Daniel is there too, somewhere somehow. I’m not sure what his role would be, but he is Martín and Sebas’ cousin too. He is younger than Tincho and older than Sebas, but since his mother was the late King’s youngest sister, Sebas goes first in line of succession.

Francis is part of French aristocracy, so he’s just there hanging around, assisting parties and charming people, just living the life. He likes to mingle with Royalty of all sort, so he frequents both Argentina’s and Brazil’s courts and has known both Luciano and Martín since they were children. He likes to consider himself some sort of cool uncle to the Crown Princes.

Argentina is a monarchy I very dramatically called the United Provinces of the Kingdom of Argentina because a fancy mouthful of a name really suits us. However, they still have many elements of the structure of a democracy, so it’s less like the old days monarchies and more like a modern era one. Argentina is also a fairly new country, so their monarchy is only a couple of generations long, which makes them a little green to other royalty’s eyes. When Luciano calls them “a shitshow”, he is not entirely wrong, as Argentina is a very young nation with a court filled with people who can’t seem to agree on anything and like to scream at each other. Any resemblance to reality is purely coincidental :)

Brazil is a monarchy too, but it is waaaaaaay older than Argentina. It remounts many generations back, Luciano’s family has been in the throne for centuries. This allows Brazil’s royal family to have a sense of superiority over Argentina’s (as in “we already were kings while you all were a bunch of mongrels fighting each other trying to unify a country”), but it also makes them far more traditional and rigid. It is the old school take on monarchy in contrast with “progressive innovative” Argentina’s.

Slavery is legal in Brazil, and that includes sex slaves. In contrast, Argentina finds the concept of slaves abhorrent and instead prefers the “most civilized” approach of pets (courtesans of either sex who have contracts with wealthy masters/mistresses).

Brazil considers Argentina a pit of treacherous back-stabbing snakes, and Argentina considers Brazil an Empire of backward savages (a la Akielos vs Vere).

The Cisplatine War (Southern/Eastern Bank War in the fic) is also a little different. Argentina and Brazil have been disputing the dukedom of Uruguay for decades. As I already explained with Sebas, the war happened when Argentina marched in and reclaimed Uruguay from Brazil’s rule, which of course led to an armed conflict between the two kingdoms.

During this war, Martín and Luciano had barely turned 18, and Sebastián was 14. Both Martín and Luciano were allowed to participate in the war, both in meetings and in battle, but it was a tightly supervised participation. Both the King and the Emperor wanted to have their Heirs taste war without actually risking them, so they were sent out sporadically and heavily guarded, usually to smaller easier battles or just kept on the tamest combat zones.

The Sebastián incident was something that shook both countries to the core at a national scale, and that is because Argentina and Brazil have very different version of what occurred.

To the Argentinean public, Luciano was a dishonourable sadist who saw a defenceless child caught in the middle of a battle and stroked them down – and not just any child, but one of their princes nevertheless. Martín had to watch his brother fight death and struggle to recover. Luciano irrevocably ruined Sebas’ life, crippled an otherwise healthy boy.

To the Brazilian public, Sebastián’s presence in the battlefield was no mistake but a despicable Argentinean rouse. Why else was he wearing the Crown Prince’s armour? The Argentineans disguised a child like their Prince and sent him into battle in his sake hoping no one would notice, that’s the only conclusion. Sebas was Luciano’s dear friend, so you can imaginae Lu’s pure horror the moment he realised he stabbed his friend. In Luciano’s eyes, Martín was too much of a coward to fight his own battles and sent a child double instead.

At the end of the day, the truth everyone is too angry to hear from Sebas’ very lips is he just wanted to talk to Luciano, see if Lu could convince the Emperor to stop this senseless war. Sebas had tried convincing Martín to talk to his father for months, but Tincho wouldn’t listen, so Sebas slipped into Martin’s armour and rode out. He was caught in the middle of a Brazilian attack by accident, and found the end of Luciano’s sword.

Sebastián almost didn’t survive Luciano’s attack. The injury was really bad, rehabilitation was hard, and it took a heavy toll on his health; one of his legs is mostly useless (he has a slight limp he is very good at hiding and most people don’t know about), and never seemed to recover his physical strength and stamina, so his muscles are rather weak. He holds no grudges over Luciano, and wishes Martín didn’t either.

Hopefully that is enough world building and now I can finally start talking about the fic’s current events :’D

At the moment, Uruguay is part of Argentina, but Brazil has the perfect opportunity to attack and take it back now that the King and Prince of Argentina are gone.

Martín’s father died shortly after Tincho was taken captive. Sebas’ father would be the next in line, but since he died somewhere along the years between the War and current events, this would make Sebastián the new King if it wasn’t because he’s underage - still one year from 21.

The Emperor of Brazil is alive, but very sick. And by sick I mean he is being poisoned. Probably. I’m not sure yet. The Empress consort is alive though, and knows something is up; the Argentinean King’s sudden death, his Heir’s “disappearance” and her husband mysterious illness are extremely suspicious.

UK is the only behind the Argentinean coup. So far I don’t really have much motivation other than “Argentina and UK had a very bad relationship and it would be in the UK’s best interest if Argentina had a new King who hasn’t a prideful hot-headed member of the House of Hernández”. Still a wip as you see.

Remember I said Francis mingles with royalty of all sorts? Well, he has more info on everyone than he knows what to do with, so much dirt on everyone. He heard of the coup while he was back at the Brisith court, and tried to help Martín how he could. The original plan was to murder the Crown Prince as well, but Francis managed to slip in and orchestrate everything behind everyone’s back so Martín would end up as some nameless slave in Rio de Janeiro. Francis has no side really, he just wants the best for his two favourite “nephews”.

Luciano recognised Martín the moment he saw him. Not only did he recognised his face, but also his physical similarity with Sebastián confirmed his identity. The Empress noticed too, and forbid Lu from killing Tincho much to his chagrin. They will follow Francis plan and hide their enemy from the people trying to kill him until they figure what is going on and whom they can trust.

That doesn’t mean Luciano will play fair with his new “toy”. His mother said “no killing”, but she never said “make sure he is comfortable and happy and well cared for”.

Martín doesn’t get Damen’s flogging scars, but he does get something arguably worse (in the long run at least). The first order Luciano gives out concerning his new slave is that as Royal property, he needs to be branded. As painful as it is, it is quick and requires little recovering, but Martín now carries the Imperial Coat of arms seared into his skin and that humiliation burns deeper than flesh.

As the new Crown Prince, Sebastián eventually pays Luciano a visit with the pretext of peace talks to avoid a new war, but mostly because he has his own suspicions. He knows Martín and doesn’t buy that rumour that he run away, something must have happened to him. Luciano listens and doesn’t mention he currently has Martín collared and cuffed as his slave in his very palace. After all, his mother said not to tell anyone and maybe he likes Sebastián better in the throne.

Martín does try to reach Sebastián when he hears Argentina’s new heir is in Rio, but he doesn’t get as much as watch from afar, unable to reach him and let him know he is alive and right here.

I really don’t have much of the plot, but of course they’ll have to work together and learn to trust each other and eventually fall in love, and there would be a lot of tension and denial and eventual tenderness, we all know the drill uvu

[evangeline-of-montfort]

DIVERSITY IN RED QUEEN

everyone I just need a moment to like. sit down and appreciate the world we got with Red Queen because it’s pretty fucking amazing.

BLACK CHARACTERS

- cameron cole, fifteen years old and terrified, but stands up for her own beliefs and doesn’t shut up no matter who tells her to. liberates her people! has a great relationship with her brother! has a happy ending and a complete character arc!

- prince bracken, silver king, secondary villain, but NUANCED, cares about his children like a good father should

- carmadon. fucking gay. sense of humor is amazing. sense of style is amazing. excellent gardener and chef and does not hesitate to call evangeline on her bullshit. 

- wren skonos. can literally regrow hands. probably has saved everyone’s ass at one point or another. joined the montfort medics and is the breadwinner for her family (ptolemus, you lazy bum). awesome, i love her. 

LATINX CHARACTERS

- mare. fucking. barrow. is CANONICALLY latina or brown. ladies and gentlethem we have FINALLY gotten a popular book series about overthrowing oppressive systems and the main character isn’t white i adore this. 

- rafe!! electricon badass that sticks by his friends and is a really good fighter! god i adore him

- ada wallace has golden skin in canon so i think she’s latina, personally. (evidence: gisa barrow is also described as having golden skin and she’s latina.) and ada is also canonically one of THE kindest characters, and in glass sword she was integral to mare’s cause. incredibly intelligent and later goes on to represent the ENTIRE nortan states in government and at international coalition meetings. go her. 

- actually i’ve blanked please reblog with more i’m sure there were more

ASIAN CHARACTERS

- evangeline samos what a fucking queen. i can’t believe we got an asian character who wasn’t defined by introversion and math skills in ya lit. can’t BELIEVE it. the strict parents are still there, but that’s a universal experience if i’m completely honest. but evangeline gets a happy ending with a loving support group! cut off all the toxicity from her life we stan one (1) queen.

- ptolemus!! i actually love that he and evangeline are characterized as warriors. honestly ptolemus might even classify as a Brute (temper control 0, able-to-kill-you 100, shoulder width 500, has a soft spot). i never NEVER see this for east asian male characters, so this is incredibly important. 

on top of that, tolly is also a stay at home husband, which is something you hardly ever see either. especially with a character that’s been introduced as a warrior-type and was literally the king of an entire nation. 

- all of house viper, by extension. an entire noble house of east asian descent!! i adore it. 

- DANE FUCKING DAVIDSON IS CANONICALLY EAST ASIAN. VAVEYARD CONFIRMED IT. the LEADER of an ENTIRE COUNTRY who is INCREDIBLE and basically spearheaded a movement for red equality across the ENTIRE CONTINENT and is in a loving relationship with his unproblematic husband. 

BROWN/FIRST NATION CHARACTERS

- iris cygnet. orrec cygnet. cenra and tiora. we have canadian FIRST NATION PEOPLE as rulers of an INCREDIBLY powerful country. iris can hold her own against maven. she and her mother basically reversed the flow of the entire archeon river. she practically flooded an entire city until it was nothing but rubble. 

and even though they’re villains, they’re shown to care for one another deeply. again, more nuance in poc characters. fuck yeah. 

- house iral. another royal house of poc! and they’re a POWERFUL house, too. the best spies in all of norta are iral. tiberias v’s prince consort was an iral. the head of their house was literally nicknamed the fucking PANTHER that’s how good they were.

- lyrisa from broken throne (skin like cold copper). badass strongarm piedmont princess. unapologetic about her past, willing to do what it takes to save herself, but she still cares for other people. again, i LOVE that we have poc characters in positions of power. also, lyri is a great example of what to do with a stalker ex: physically rip his head off his shoulders. 

LGBTQ+ CHARACTERS

- gisa barrow. her relationship with a montfort shopgirl is brought up totally casually, with complete acceptance. that is SO important to me, that in red queen some of our gay characters can just... exist. gisa doesn’t have to fight for acceptance or love, and that’s such an important example of how the lgbt community should be treated in real life.

- davidson and carmadon. fuck. tell me they literally aren’t parent gays to evangeline and elane. that scene where davidson introduces them all to his husband, and evangeline practically cries because she realizes she can love openly?? i can’t even articulate how important that is to me.  

- evangeline and elane. let’s get one thing straight right here. if evangeline wasn’t willing to go to such huge lengths for her girlfriend, i don’t know what state norta would be in. eve shoved marecal back together to be with elane, and we owe her big for that one. also, if she’d married cal, a union of norta and the rift might’ve been too big for red revolution to take hold in. thank god, evangeline. 

(however it would have been nice if elane had more of a personality in war storm. that was a flaw that struck me.)

- how could I forget about maven calore? this one is a little more in the gray zone. first, i do appreciate that maven is bi/pan. second, while it would be problematic if maven were the ONLY gay character and his relationship with thomas was the Tragic Backstory, that is not the case. we have an entire cast of lgbt protagonists in healthy relationships. I personally think that maven shows that lgbtq representation can have nuance and villains and still be done well. 

- gay royalty: tiberias v took a prince consort. leonora calore took a queen consort, mariane nolle (broken throne). thank you victoria for giving us a HISTORY of lgbt figures in this universe.

long post, but how else could I properly appreciate well-written diversity in YA lit?? god bless victoria aveyard for existing. i would die for her, no cap. reblog with more if you can think of them! 

[thelastspeecher]

I couldn’t come up with a good title for this quickly and I wanna post it now, so have a title-less ficlet.  What is it?  Why, it’s the scene in my King Stansort AU (where Ford finds out his estranged twin married a European queen) where Ford finally makes Stan upset enough that Stan kicks him out.

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              “What the hell were you doing?” Stan demanded.  Ford held up his hands placatingly.

              “Calm down, Stanley, I was just examining the Royal Archives.”  After Stan and the royal family were summoned for an emergency meeting of some sort, Ford had been told to do what he wanted until the meeting was over.  And what Ford wanted to do was look through the immense archives.  During the tour of the castle, Fiddleford had mentioned them offhand, explaining that they held the entire country’s history, stretching back to when society was first established in Lirone by immigrants from elsewhere in Europe.

              So, Ford had found his way back to the archives, read the instructions on how to handle the delicate material, and dug in.  But after only half an hour, Stan had burst through the doors and demanded Ford leave immediately.  Now Ford stood in a secluded hallway, getting scolded by Stan.  Stan’s guards, who escorted him everywhere, glanced at each other uncomfortably.

              “You didn’t get permission to do that!” Stan said firmly.

              “I wasn’t aware I needed permission.”

              “You weren’t- sweet Moses, Ford, are you pretending, or you really that fucking stupid?” Stan asked.  Ford bristled.

              “I was told I had free rein-”

              “Yeah, to do the other things you’ve done while you were here!  Obviously, you’d like to go to the archives.  I know that and so does Fidds.  Don’t you think that if you were allowed, you woulda been there already?”

              “I followed the instructions on handling the books,” Ford said.  “To the best of my abilities, that is.  There was additional instruction written in what I assume is Lironian.”  Stan’s face paled.  “Trust me, nothing will come of this.”

              “You better be right about that.”  Stan ran a hand through his hair.  “Only the royal family can read what’s in the archives, Ford.”

              “Not even historians are allowed to read the annals?” Ford asked.  Stan grimaced.

              “It depends.”

              “It depends?  Stan, people shouldn’t be kept in the dark about their country’s history.  If they don’t know what’s happened in the past, how can they prevent themselves from repeating it?”

              “It’s- everyone can learn about Lirone’s history,” Stan stammered.  “Just not from the archives.  They’re- they’re fragile.”

              “Then why is the royal family allowed to read them, but not those trained in how to handle delicate documents?”

              “I-”  Stan looked away.  “…It’s complicated, okay?  Just let it go.  We’ll go do something else, like go to the garden again.  Danny and Daisy want you to tell them the English names for the plants there.”

              “Let it go?  No!” Ford’s outburst startled even him. Stan looked back at Ford, his expression guarded.  “Why is everything so damn secretive, Stanley?  Every other question I ask, I get told I’m not allowed to have the answer.”

              “It’s above your pay grade.”

              “Why?” Ford demanded.  “Why?”

              “It just is.”

              “You’re my brother!  And Fiddleford is my research partner.  Whether the royal family likes it or not, I have the right to be involved.  I have the right to at least know why there are so many secrets, even if you won’t tell me what those secrets are.”  Stan merely stared silently at Ford.  “Say something, dammit!” Ford shouted.  One of Stan’s guards took a step closer to Ford.

              “Fine!” Stan snapped.  “You wanna know why we won’t tell you any of the secrets?  It’s not just ‘cause they’re so high level that no one outside the castle knows them.  It’s also ‘cause you can’t be trusted, Stanford!”  Ford’s jaw dropped.  “Fidds told me about your research.  You’ve been obsessed with uncovering all this wild shit in Oregon.”

              “You- you know about-”

              “Yeah.”  Stan scowled. “I also know that almost every single ‘anomaly’ you ‘discover’ doesn’t get a say in whether they’re part of your research or not.  Maybe the unicorns or gnomes or whatever the fuck you study doesn’t want everyone to know about it.  But you don’t give a shit.  You’re still gonna publish it.”  Stan met Ford’s eyes.  “You can’t keep a secret.”

              “That’s different!  It’s for my research!  If I don’t publish my findings-” Ford started.  Stan turned away.  Ford’s fury boiled over into rage.  He grabbed Stan’s shoulder.  “Look at me when I’m talking to-”  The guard that had inched closer earlier promptly grabbed Ford and shoved him onto the floor, pinning his arms behind his back.

              “Do not touch the king consort,” the guard said in thickly accented English.  Ford tried to move his head to see Stan, but couldn’t.  The guard had him in too tight of a hold.

              “Marley, let him go, he wasn’t trying to attack me, he’s just pissed,” Stan said in a tired voice.  The guard released Ford slowly.  Ford got to his feet.  He glared at Stan.

              “I take it Lirone is now going to go to war with the United States?” he spat. “Given what I’ve been told about minding my manners and kowtowing to everyone here, that’s the only logical conclusion.”  Stan rubbed his face.

              “Look.  I get you’re pissed.  But-”

              “All I wanted to do was comfort you in your hour of need.  Offer reassurance when your wife was in danger,” Ford continued.  Stan’s weariness morphed into anger.  He grabbed Ford’s shirt and pulled him close.

              “I didn’t ask you to do that,” Stan snarled.  “I didn’t ask you to show up and turn my life upside down during the worst thing that’s happened to me since you watched Pops kick me out and didn’t do shit about it.  Are we piling the manners on a bit thick?  Yeah.  But things aren’t exactly fine and dandy right now, in case you haven’t noticed. The queen, my wife, was almost assassinated.  You’re good at pissing people off even when they’re not on edge.  Hell, you upset Lute, the prince who cares least about being polite, within a minute of meeting him!”

              “I didn’t realize-”

              “No, you didn’t.  Because you don’t realize anything.  You don’t realize that the person who tried to kill my wife is still on the loose. You don’t realize that I have a million things to do and keeping my brother happy isn’t on the list.  You don’t realize that you’re not allowed in certain rooms of a goddamn castle you’re a guest in.”  Stan let go of Ford’s shirt.  Ford stumbled back.  “And when you find out that last one, you throw a fucking tantrum.  Like one of my three-year-old daughters when we don’t let her stay up until midnight.”  Stan looked at the guards.  “Escort my brother off the premises.”  The guard that had pinned Ford earlier immediately grabbed his arm.

              “Stan-” Ford protested.

              “I don’t have the time or energy to fuss over you,” Stan said, his face twisted in frustration and fury.  “I have a meeting to get back to.  A meeting on my wife’s assassination attempt.”  He turned around.  “I’ll tell Fidds to get your things and arrange for a plane back to the States. Where you won’t be yelling at me while I’m trying to keep my daughters from getting shot, too.”  Stan stormed off.  Once the echoes of heavy footsteps had faded, Ford looked at the guard holding him.

              “You don’t need to have such a tight grip,” he said.  The guard’s hold tightened further.  Ford winced.  “…I’ll stop talking.”  The other guard rolled his eyes.

              “That’s probably the smartest thing you’ve said since you’ve got here, Dr. Pines.  Come on. The sooner we get you out of here, the sooner we get back to our job and the sooner you get back to yours.”  After spending two weeks immersed in the drama of Stan’s new life, Ford’s research almost felt like it took place in a different lifetime.  Ford let the guards lead him down the hall.  The anger that had flared up during his argument with Stan was swiftly fading, being replaced by a hollow guilt.

              “Right,” Ford said quietly.  “My job.”

[marignytotreme]

SPOT ON!

Sometimes when I look around the internet, in all it’s glory, I realise just how fucking deluded people are – especially where Meghan Markle is concerned.

A number of us dislike her, a few really don’t care either way and the rest live with their heads up her arse. For those living with their heads up her backside, I’ve noticed that a lot of what you say about Meghan online is, quite frankly, total bullshit and sometimes so utterly absurd, I wonder if most of you are simply on day release.

So below, I have tackled the most common misconceptions head-on; because we all know I don’t enjoy anything more than putting Sussex fans in their place.  

She’s a style icon

I don’t know anybody on this Earth who has access to so much money and the best stylists you can buy, but still appears to have gotten dressed in the dark most of the time. Yes, she has worn one or two nice pieces; but by and large, she looks like a cheap knock-off of Victoria Beckham and I don’t think that image exactly screams “royalty”.

Until I take my last breath on this earth, I will forever be baffled by how Meghan Markle has gotten it so spectacularly wrong in the style stakes. Some people do seem to like the way she dresses; they see her “style” (if you can call it that) as “fresh” and “modern” – but quite frankly, I prefer Kate’s dress coats and hats, which some have labelled “boring”. I don’t agree at all.

Yes, Kate is the future Queen and therefore has played it slightly safer with fashion; but I do really like her clothing which is usually a perfect mix of the traditional and modern. She looks like a ROYAL. And yes Meghan, those long trousers that sweep the floor as you walk may have looked nice on Vicky B, but she is the wife of a footballer – not a member of the royal family. Believe it or not, there is a difference.

She’s a humanitarian

This one always makes me laugh.

Show of hands please; how many of you know genuine “humanitarians” who visit the impoverished in a coat worth £7,000? I thought humanitarians were meant to have common sense?

Meghan, dear; walking down the road in Kensington with an “alleviate poverty” bag doesn’t make you a charitable person or a humanitarian – it just makes you a hypocrite. Instead of spending thousands of pounds on ugly clothing that you’ll only wear once anyway, why don’t you put your money where your mouth is and donate to your chosen charities? Yes, instead of getting your fans to donate to them on your behalf under the guise of a “Global Sussex baby shower”.

And just another tip for the future; humanitarians don’t preach about climate change off the back of a million-pound trip on a private jet to New York for a party. They don’t wear £99k maternity dresses in Morocco. They don’t spend millions of pounds of the taxpayers’ money to renovate one of their many homes. And they certainly don’t visit those living in poverty dressed from head to toe in Givenchy.

She was already famous and rich in her own right and didn’t need Harry’s money

Right – we’ve been through this. How rich do you really think she was before the ring went on? I mean, seriously? Suits was a lowly cable show and she is not an A-lister. And given her knack of merching at every available opportunity, I’m guessing the woman looks for every possible chance to make money. That doesn’t scream “well off” to me.

Meghan has only really ever gone after men who have a lot of money or means to open doors for her toward new opportunities and a better life, and then drops them when they can no longer do anything for her. This is not the behaviour of an independent feminist who is able to achieve things on her own – this is the behaviour of a gold digger.

So sure – Meg had money; from her divorce settlement with Trevor, from her rumoured days as a yacht girl and Soho House regular and from all the merching she did and does for Jessica Mulroney. But was it millions and millions? Clearly not or she wouldn’t have had to marry a Prince.

She’s proud to represent Britain

In two (very British) words: my arse.

In the year and a half since Harry and Meghan became engaged, I have yet to see her wear any British designers or champion much that is British at all. In fact, I’m pretty sure she goes out of her way to actively avoid wearing anything that is British.

There are even rumours that she has apparently hired an all-American medical team to deliver her brat because in Meghan’s expert opinion, our 70-year-old NHS service isn’t good enough to deliver the second coming of Markle and Wales. It was good enough for the future Queen Consort to deliver three children in an NHS Hospital, but no, not for old Meggy.

And when charity patronages for Meghan were announced back in January, it was revealed that she would be focusing on – you guessed it – everywhere but the UK. Africa, the Middle East, Antarctica… you name it – if it’s not Britain, Meghan’s happy to back it.

She is the best thing to hit the Royal Family

I think you’ll find that was Kate eight years ago.

(Happy Anniversary for tomorrow, Cambridges!)

Despite the adamant claims of her fans, so far, I have yet to see Meghan do anything groundbreaking. If you ask her little followers for proof of anything they’re all like:

Oh, and when they’re really stumped, they’ll come out with “yeah? Well Meghan’s only been married a year but Kate’s been on the scene for eight and hasn’t done anything at all.”

Right… Apart from being an ambassador for Britain on several overseas tours, starting the Heads Together charity (amongst others) and birthing a future King?

Meghan has so far, by my tally – cooked once or twice with a few Grenfell victims and gave a bunch of bananas to some prostitutes.

While I’m all for backing any disaster that happens on my doorstep (I live around the corner from where Grenfell stood), I will say this: the tower disaster has had more money thrown at it than you can shake a stick at and it was almost two years ago now – Meghan, it’s time to find something more current to support, not just backing the first “English” cause that you could get your hands on.

As for the bananas – don’t get me started. What bright spark thought it’d be a good idea to give phallic shaped fruit to a group of sex workers? And with messages like “you’re so loved ”… yeah, I’m sure 35-year-old Louise from Dagenham is feeling totally “loved” when she’s shivering at the side of the road waiting for possible clientele to drive by or blowing some guy for a fiver at the back of his Ford Mondeo. Get real, Meghan.

If I were one of those women, I’d tell Her Royal Highness exactly where she could put those bananas – and probably not for the first time either.

She doesn’t want the limelight

Yeah, like a cat doesn’t want the canary.

I have never seen a person so adept at sniffing out a camera from at least fifty miles away. The Cambridges could’ve used her in France seven years ago when Kate was papped taking her clothes off on their villa balcony – with Meghan about, no photographer goes undetected.

Bottom line: Meghan loves herself and she loves the cameras. The two combined thrill her to no end.

The best example of this would’ve been at the British Fashion Awards earlier this year – she was so unbelievably excited to have the spotlight on her where she could squeeze the life out of her bump in front of the UK press for all to see, I’m surprised she didn’t have an orgasm.

I’d put fifty quid on this whole “privacy” thing surrounding the baby’s birth being Harry’s idea and Meghan has just been forced to go along with it. Madam? Give up the spotlight when her mealticket arrives? Once again – my arse.

She could potentially be Queen one day

I know this one sounds totally mental, but please go with me on it – her fans are actually saying this sort of crap on Twitter. They actually believe, in their tiny deluded minds, that this woman could eventually wind up as Queen Consort one day.

And how exactly do you think this will happen?

Perhaps she’ll poison Kate with the contents of one of her diamonds, divorce Harry’s balding, ginger arse and William will marry her after realising the deceptive, social-climbing grifter actress was really “The One” after all? Ah, just like Romeo and Juliet.

For any Meghan fans reading this, please let me say this for the final time, as some of you do not appear to understand how the line of succession works – Meghan will never become Queen. Say it with me now…

No fewer than five people have to cark it in order for Harry to get anywhere near the throne, and no, he does NOT take over if William were to die suddenly while George is still young. In this instance, the throne would be powered by a team of advisors until George turned eighteen, and then he would be crowned officially. Harry and Meghan are unlikely to ever sniff the material the throne is made from, let alone sit on it – sorry Sussex Stans.

She’s here to stay

Incorrect again, I’m afraid.

Given the woman’s track record, it doesn’t appear she sticks around anywhere for very long and the second something better comes along, she’s off.

No, right now, I can’t imagine what could be higher than royalty – but I’m sure Meghan has a few ideas and is probably targeting her next victim as we speak.

What will it be, Meg? A billionaire without the life of restrictions and protocol? Or maybe you’ll run for President? Nah, even though you love the sound of your own voice, that seems like it would be too stressful for madam’s liking.

Whatever her next move is, I have no doubt she’ll be hitting the road in the next two to three years.

Once the novelty of having a title wears off, the royal purse strings are tightened by the Queen and the penny finally drops for Meghan that she’ll never really have her own brand and platform to project her oh-so-wonderful ideas from, she’ll be out of there – with half of Harry’s money and his kid(s) in tow.

Of course, the list of misconceptions about Meghan goes on and on; there is so much utter rubbish spewed on social media by her fans that I can only assume they’re either paid PR people, seriously deranged or Meghan herself. Honestly, you can’t write some of the stuff that comes up – or apparently you can. It’s a crazy world out there.

If you do think any of the above is incorrect, and you believe Meghan really is a stand-up (Non-UK) citizen, you can find me on Twitter to discuss it @CrownofSapphire – I’m always ready and willing to have an argument.

Have a good one, guys!

[fedonciadale]

The Jonerii stans firmly believe D wouldn't see Jon as a threat to her claim after the parantage reveal, in fact she'll be THRILLED to find a hubby for herself. But I'm curious about your take on the matter. Do you think it's possible that after a tantrum, she would see reason and consider appointing Jon as her heir upon her death? I think it's something Varys and Tyrion would suggest cause it's most likely she'll be useless against the WW with her dragons if NK doesn't snitch them too from her.

Dear nonny,

I think it is highly unlikely that the parentage reveal that was teased for ages and set up from the very beginning has no impact on the story. And this to me means that you need to picture an ending that would not be possible without the parentage reveal. Or if not an ending then at least a twist.

Now, I have always said that a Jon€rys marriage would make a lot of sense if Ned was indeed Jon's father. Then they could marry to make an alliance, Jon could be the Prince consort since he is of a lesser social standing. The hierarchy would be clear. But we have RLJ, so what to make of it?

It is of course possible that the parentage reveal exists for the sole purpose of giving Jon manpain and Da€nerys doubts about the loyalty of her lover. To give their relationship a last twist before they finally can be together. I must admit that back in the days when I thought Jon and D would die a heroic death fighting for humanity that was my take. I never believed in a Targ restoration and I never liked Jon€rys but I thought that they would commit suicide for the benefit of all. After reading ADWD I had heavy doubts about this, because I did not understand why Jon died (and would die gain? Why?) and I could not wrap my brain around the fact that it was clearly set up that Jon and D would meet at different sides. Jon in D's eyes is the bastard son of the Usurper's dog after all in her eyes. I thought it possible that they would make their way from enemies to lovers, but what purpose would it have to drive another wedge between them just before the end. It just didn't add up for me. Jon dying twice? Jon€rys enemies to lovers twice? And the show pretty much confirmed this. In a way they did go for 'enemies to lovers' on a superficial level.

It makes much more sense to have them as antagonists. Jon/ D as antagonists and Jon/Sansa as the romantic couple plays into several tropes of secret parentage and this is why I think it makes more sense that way: accidental incest, family members who did not know about each other set as enemies for Jon€rys and pseudo-incest and parentage reveal as a solution for a hindrance to marriage for Jonsa.

I know D appointing Jon as heir happens in a lot of fics, but it does not make sense. It makes sense for Varys and Tyrion to suggest it, but not for D to agree to it or at least to go through with it.

An adult heir with a following of his own is a huge problem for a ruler if s/he can't be sure about the loyalty of said heir and especially if discontent lords side with this heir - remember Aerys' suspicions of Rhaegar that were not entirely unfounded. If the ruler works with his heirs like Jaehaerys did that might work out fine, but it is an exception rather than the rule.

So, for D it would make sense to either murder Jon or to eliminate his claim by marrying him. To accept him as heir apparent after he was her lover is not a very likely scenario. She would have to be a far less paranoid person to try that.

But neither for Jon nor for the Lords of the realm a marriage would make sense after RLJ. Yes, people with dragons can do pretty much what they want to do (think about the almost hilarious 'exceptionalism' Jaehaerys I let his septons preach to justify Targ incest marriage), but people without dragons cannot. It is no accident that the Targs went for marriage alliance with Dorne a generation after the dragons died out. And I think Targ stans underestimate how much a Jon€rys marriage would confirm suspicions about the Targs. Jon with the stronger claim could of course agree to be content with the position of heir, but would the Lords let him? Wouldn't they push Jon to go for it? Wouldn't D suspect they would push for the man, they know instead of her? She doesn't even have to believe Jon personally would go for the Throne if she just thinks that there are lords who support him over her.

I guess in times of war with the WW a very shaky agreement like D proclaiming Jon the heir is feasible but that would never last after the WW are defeated (and we know this will happen). Indeed if it will become common knowledge a) that the NK turned a dragon to his side and b) that the WW are immune to fire and the dragons can only be used against the Wights Da€nerys' position is weakened considerably. If her dragons are not the solution why should the future of Westeros be dictated by her?

I fully expect D to suggest marriage and go for Jon's life and I fully expect Varys and/ or Tyrion to suggest Jon as the heir and try to work against D to install Jon. And I expect Jon zo take the job after being pressured that it is his responsibility - Sam being the King maker just like he made him LC.

Thanks for the ask!